This is a modern-English version of A History of Advertising from the Earliest Times., originally written by Sampson, Henry. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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Please see the Transcriber’s Notes at the end of this document.
The cover image was created for this e-text, and is placed in the public domain.

Please see the Transcriber’s Notes at the end of this document.
The cover image was created for this e-text and is now in the public domain.


A
HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.

A
THE HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.


PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY
EDINBURGH AND LONDON

PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY
EDINBURGH AND LONDON


A. Concanen, del. et lith.

A. Concanen, del. and lith.

Stannard & Son, imp.

Stannard & Son, printing.

MODERN ADVERTISING: A RAILWAY STATION IN 1874.

MODERN ADVERTISING: A TRAIN STATION IN 1874.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ (480 MB)


A
Advertising History
Since Ancient Times.

ILLUSTRATED BY ANECDOTES, CURIOUS SPECIMENS, AND
BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES.

ILLUSTRATED WITH STORIES, INTERESTING EXAMPLES, AND
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

By HENRY SAMPSON.

By HENRY SAMPSON.

publisher's logo

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS AND FACSIMILES.

WITH IMAGES AND REPLICAS.

London:
CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY.
1874.

London:
CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY.
1874.


TO
The Right Honourable

THOMAS MILNER GIBSON,
In humble recognition of the Important Services
HE HAS RENDERED TO THE CAUSE OF
ADVERTISING,
as well as to Journalism generally,
This Book
IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED,
BY
His obedient Servant,
THE AUTHOR.

TO
The Honorable

THOMAS MILNER GIBSON,
In thankful recognition of the important contributions __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__
HE HAS CONTRIBUTED TO THE FIELD OF
ADVERTISING,
as well as to journalism in general,
This Book
IS DEDICATED WITH RESPECT,
BY
His loyal servant,
THE AUTHOR.


CONTENTS.

CHAP. PAGE
I. INTRODUCTORY—NEWSPAPERS AND NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING 1
II. INTRODUCTORY—STREET AND GENERAL ADVERTISING 19
III. ANCIENT FORMS OF ADVERTISING 33
IV. MEDIÆVAL AND OTHER VARIETIES OF ADVERTISING 43
V. NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING FORESHADOWED—ITS EARLIEST USE—HOUGHTON’S LESSONS 61
VI. DEVELOPMENT OF ADVERTISING 94
VII. CONCLUSION OF SEVENTEENTH CENTURY 120
VIII. EARLY PART OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY 142
IX. MIDDLE OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY 176
X. THE EDUCATION COMPLETED 205
XI. CURIOUS AND ECCENTRIC ADVERTISEMENTS 240
XII. SWINDLES AND HOAXES 304
XIII. THE GREAT BOTTLE-TRICK SWINDLE 365
XIV. QUACKS AND IMPOSTORS[iv] 373
XV. GRAHAM AND HIS CELESTIAL BED 411
XVI. LOTTERIES AND LOTTERY INSURANCE 422
XVII. MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS AND AGENCIES 475
XVIII. HANDBILLS, INSCRIPTIONS, ETC. 510
XIX. AMERICAN AND COLONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS 556
XX. ADVERSARIA 597

[v]

[v]

PREFACE.

In presenting the following humble attempt at history-writing to the reader, I am selfish enough to admit a preference for his tender mercy rather than for his critical judgment. I would ask him to remember that there are many almost insurmountable difficulties to be faced in the accomplishment of a work like this, and a narrowed space adds to rather than diminishes from their antagonistic power.

In presenting this modest effort at writing history to the reader, I’m honest enough to admit that I’d rather have his kindness than his criticism. I’d ask him to keep in mind that there are many nearly impossible challenges to tackle in a project like this, and a limited space makes those challenges even tougher.

When the work was first proposed to me, it was imagined that the subject could be fully disposed of in less than five hundred pages. I have already gone considerably over that number, and feel that the charge of incompleteness may still be brought against the book. But I also feel that if I had extended it to five thousand pages, the charge could still have been made, for with such a subject actual exhaustion cannot be expected; and so, despite the great quantity of unused material I have yet by me, I must rest satisfied with what I have done. I trust the reader will be satisfied also.

When this project was first suggested to me, we thought we could cover the topic in under five hundred pages. I've already exceeded that limit by a lot, and I still feel like the book might be seen as incomplete. However, I believe that even if I had expanded it to five thousand pages, that same criticism could apply, because with a topic like this, you can never cover everything. So, despite all the additional material I still have, I have to be content with what I've accomplished. I hope the reader will be happy with it too.

[vi]

[vi]

Almost everybody has in the course of his lifetime discovered some sort of a pet advertisement without which he considers no collection can be complete. During the progress of this “history” I have received many hundreds such—have received sufficient, with accompanying notes, to fill a bigger volume than this—and I can therefore imagine every fresh reader turning to look for his favourite, and, in the event of his finding it not, condemning the book unconditionally. I hope that in the event of a reconsideration some worthy representative will be found occupying the missing one’s place. In like manner, and judging by my own friends’ observations, I have found that almost every one would have treated the “history” differently, not only from my way but from each other’s. Every one would have done something wonderful with such a wonderful subject. It will not be out of place perhaps, therefore, to ask the reader to think, that because the system adopted has not been that which would have suggested itself to him, it is not necessarily the wrong one after all.

Almost everyone, at some point in their life, has come across a pet advertisement that they believe is essential for a complete collection. Throughout this “history,” I have received hundreds of such ads—enough, along with the notes that accompanied them, to fill a larger volume than this one. I can picture each new reader looking for their favorite and, if they don’t find it, dismissing the book outright. I hope that if they reconsider, they might find a suitable representative to fill the missing spot. Similarly, based on what my friends have said, I’ve noticed that almost everyone would approach this “history” differently—not just in my way, but also from each other’s perspectives. Everyone would have created something remarkable with such an incredible topic. So, it might not hurt to remind the reader that just because the system I used isn’t the one they would have chosen doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one after all.

I have received much assistance during the time I have been at work, in the way of hints and observations. For those which I have accepted, as well as for those I have been compelled to reject, I hereby tender my heartfelt thanks. Little in the way of so-called statistics of modern advertisers will be found[vii] in the book, as I fancy it is better to be silent than to make untrustworthy statements; and this remark will particularly apply to the amounts of annual outlay generally published in connection with the names of large advertising firms. My own experience is that the firms or their managers are not aware of the exact sums expended by them, or, if they are, do not feel inclined to tell in anything but the vaguest manner. Another observation I have made is, that extensive advertising is likely to result in a desire for the exaggeration of facts—at all events, so far as the individual advertisers themselves are concerned. That any firm, tradesmen, manufacturers, agents, quacks, perfumers, patentees, or whatever they may be, pay a settled annual sum, no more and no less, for advertising, I do not believe now, whatever I may have done before commencing my inquiries.

I have received a lot of help during my time working on this, especially in the form of tips and comments. I want to express my sincere gratitude for both the advice I've taken and the suggestions I've had to turn down. There isn’t much in the way of so-called statistics from modern advertisers in this book, as I think it’s better to remain quiet than to make unreliable claims; this especially applies to the annual spending figures that are usually circulated in connection with major advertising agencies. From my experience, the agencies or their managers often don’t know the exact amounts they spend, or if they do, they’re usually not inclined to share that information beyond the most general terms. I've also noticed that heavy advertising often leads to a tendency to exaggerate facts—at least as far as the advertisers themselves are concerned. I no longer believe that any company, retailer, manufacturer, agent, charlatan, fragrance maker, patent holder, or whoever, pays a fixed annual amount for advertising, no matter what I might have thought before I started my research.[vii]

I have endeavoured as much as possible, and wherever practicable, to make the advertisements tell their own story. At the same time I have tried hard to prevent waste of space, and so far have, if in no other way, succeeded. This is but little merit to claim, and if I am allowed that, I shall be satisfied. Also, if my endeavour should lead to a development of that laudable spirit of emulation so apparent nowadays after the ice has been once[viii] broken, I shall be happy to supply any fresh adventurer with copious material which has grown up during the progress of this “history,” and which has been omitted only through lack of room. As far as my judgment has allowed me, I have selected what appeared best; other tastes might lead to other results. With this I will take leave of a somewhat unpleasant and apparently egotistical task; and in doing so beg to say that I trust to the reader’s kindness, and hope he will overlook the blemishes of a hurried and certainly an unpretentious work, which may, however, be found to contain a little amusement and some amount of information.

I’ve tried my best, wherever possible, to let the advertisements speak for themselves. At the same time, I’ve worked hard to avoid wasting space, and so far, I think I’ve succeeded in that, if nothing else. It’s not much of an achievement, but if I can claim that, I’ll be happy. Also, if my efforts inspire that admirable spirit of competition that’s so noticeable today once the ice is broken, I’d be glad to provide any newcomers with plenty of material generated throughout this “history,” which was left out simply due to space limitations. I’ve chosen what I thought was best based on my judgment; different tastes might lead to different choices. With that, I’ll step away from what’s been a somewhat uncomfortable and seemingly self-important task, and I hope the reader will be understanding and overlook the flaws in this rushed and certainly modest work, which might still offer a bit of enjoyment and some useful information.

H. S.

High School

London, September 1874.

London, September 1874.


[1]

[1]

A
HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.

A
HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.


CHAPTER 1.
INTRODUCTION—NEWSPAPERS AND ADVERTISING.

It must be patent to every one who takes the least interest in the subject, that the study of so important a branch of our present system of commerce as advertising, with its rise and growth, cannot fail to be full of interest. Indeed it is highly suggestive of amusement, as a reference to any of our old newspapers, full as they are of quaint announcements, untrammelled by the squeamishness of the present age, will show. Advertising has, of course, within the last fifty years, developed entirely new courses, and has become an institution differing much from the arrangement in which, so far as our references show, it first appeared in this country; its growth has been attended by an almost entire revulsion of mode, and where we now get long or short announcements by the hundred, dictated by a spirit of business, our fathers received statements couched in a style of pure romance, which fully compensated for their comparatively meagre proportions. Of course, even in the present day, and in the most pure-minded papers, ignorance, intolerance,[2] and cupidity exhibit themselves frequently, often to the amusement, but still more often to the annoyance and disgust, of thinkers; but in the good old days, when a spade was a spade, and when people did not seek to gloss over their weaknesses and frivolities, as they do now, by a pretence of virtue and coldness, which, after all, imposes only on the weak and credulous, advertisements gave a real insight into the life of the people; and so, in the hope that our researches will tend to dispel some of the mists which still hang over the sayings and doings of folk who lived up to comparatively modern days, we present this work to the curious reader.

It is obvious to anyone interested in the topic that studying the significant area of our current commerce system, like advertising, with its evolution and growth, is undoubtedly captivating. In fact, it can be quite entertaining, as any of our old newspapers filled with unusual announcements—unrestrained by today’s sensitivities—will demonstrate. Over the last fifty years, advertising has completely transformed, becoming a system very different from how it originally appeared in this country, based on our references; its evolution has involved a nearly total shift in style. Today, we receive countless long or short announcements driven by a business mindset, whereas our ancestors encountered statements written in a purely romantic style that made up for their relatively small size. Even today, in the most respectable publications, ignorance, intolerance, and greed are often evident, bringing laughter yet more often frustration and disgust to critical thinkers. However, in the good old days, when words meant what they were, and people didn’t try to hide their flaws and trivialities behind a facade of virtue and aloofness that only fools and the gullible fall for, advertisements provided genuine insight into people's lives. Therefore, we hope that our investigation will help clear some of the fog surrounding the actions and sayings of those who lived relatively modern times, and we present this work to the inquisitive reader.

It is generally assumed—though the assumption has no ground for existence beyond that so common amongst us, that nothing exists of which we are ignorant—that advertisements are of comparatively modern origin. This idea has probably been fostered in the public mind by the fact that so little trouble has ever been taken by encyclopædists to discover anything about them; and as time begets difficulties in research, we are almost driven to regard the first advertisement with which we are acquainted as the actual inaugurator of a system which now has hardly any bounds. That this is wrong will be shown most conclusively, and even so far evidence is given by the statement, made by Smith and others, that advertisements were published in Greece and Rome in reference to the gladiatorial exhibitions, so important a feature of the ancient days of those once great countries. That these advertisements took the form of what is now generally known as “billing,” seems most probable, and Rome must have often looked like a modern country town when the advent of a circus or other travelling company is first made known.

It’s commonly believed—though this idea has no solid basis other than our frequent assumption that nothing exists outside our awareness—that advertisements are a relatively new phenomenon. This notion has likely been reinforced by the fact that encyclopedias have rarely explored their history; as time complicates research, we tend to view the first advertisement we encounter as the starting point of a system that has now grown almost limitless. This belief is incorrect, as demonstrated by clear evidence, including statements from Smith and others that advertisements were published in Greece and Rome about gladiatorial games, which were significant events in those once-great civilizations. It’s highly likely that these advertisements resembled what we now refer to as “billing,” and ancient Rome must have appeared much like a modern small town when news of a circus or other traveling act first broke.

The first newspaper supposed to have been published in England appeared in the reign of Queen Elizabeth during the Spanish Armada panic. This journal was called the English Mercurie, and was by authority “imprinted at London by[3] Christopher Barker, Her Highnesses printer, 1583.” This paper was said to be started for the prevention of the fulmination of false reports, but it was more like a succession of extraordinary gazettes, and had by no means the appearance of a regular journal, as we understand the term. It was promoted by Burleigh, and used by him to soothe, inform, or exasperate the people as occasion required.[1] Periodicals and papers really first came into general use during the civil wars in the reign of Charles I., and in the time of the Commonwealth; in fact, each party had its organs, to disseminate sentiments of loyalty, or to foster a spirit of resistance against the inroads of power.[2] The country was[4] accordingly overflowed with tracts of every size and of various denominations, many of them displaying great courage, and being written with uncommon ability. Mercury was the prevailing title, generally qualified with some epithet; and the quaintness peculiar to the age is curiously exemplified in the names of some of the news-books, as they were called: the Dutch Spye, the Scots Dove, the Parliament Kite, the Screech Owle, and the Parliamentary Screech Owle, being instances in point. The list of Mercuries is almost too full for publication. There was Mercurius Acheronticus, which brought tidings weekly from the infernal regions; there was Mercurius Democritus, whose information was supposed to be derived from the moon; and among other Mercuries there was the Mercurius Mastix, whose mission was to criticise all its namesakes. It was not, however, until the reign of Queen Anne that a daily paper existed in London—this was the Daily Courant, which occupied the field alone for a long period, but which ultimately found two rivals in the Daily Post and the Daily Journal, the three being simultaneously published in 1724. This state of things continued with very little change during the reign of George I., but publications of every kind increased abundantly during the reign of his successor. The number of newspapers annually sold in England, according to an average of three years ending with 1753, was 7,411,757; in 1760 it amounted to 9,464,790; in 1767 it rose to 11,300,980; in 1790 it was as high as 14,035,636; and in 1792 it amounted to 15,005,760. All this time advertising was a growing art, and advertisements were beginning to make themselves manifest as the main support and chief source of profit of newspapers, as well as the most natural channel of communication between the buyers and sellers, the needing and supplying members of a vast community.

The first newspaper believed to be published in England appeared during Queen Elizabeth's reign amid the panic over the Spanish Armada. This publication was called the English Mercurie, and was officially “printed in London by[3] Christopher Barker, Her Highness's printer, in 1583.” It was said to be started to prevent the spread of false reports, but it was more like a series of extraordinary bulletins, lacking the characteristics of a regular journal as we know it today. Burleigh promoted it, using it to comfort, inform, or provoke the public as needed. [1] Periodicals and newspapers really gained popularity during the civil wars in Charles I's reign and during the Commonwealth; indeed, each faction had its own publications to spread messages of loyalty or to encourage resistance against the encroachments of power.[2] Consequently, the country was flooded with tracts of all sizes and types, many showing great courage and written with remarkable skill. The title Mercury was common, often accompanied by some descriptive term. The unique style of the time is reflected in the names of some news publications, such as the Dutch Spye, the Scots Dove, the Parliament Kite, the Screech Owle, and the Parliamentary Screech Owle. The list of Mercuries is almost too extensive to print. There was Mercurius Acheronticus, which reported weekly news from the underworld; Mercurius Democritus, which was said to gather information from the moon; and among other Mercuries was Mercurius Mastix, whose purpose was to critique all its namesakes. However, it wasn't until Queen Anne's reign that a daily newspaper was established in London—this was the Daily Courant, which dominated the field for a time but later faced competition from the Daily Post and the Daily Journal, all three being published simultaneously in 1724. This situation remained largely unchanged during George I's reign, but the number of publications increased significantly during his successor's time. According to an average from three years ending in 1753, the number of newspapers sold annually in England was 7,411,757; in 1760 it rose to 9,464,790; in 1767 it reached 11,300,980; in 1790 it was as high as 14,035,636; and in 1792 it climbed to 15,005,760. Throughout this period, advertising was evolving into a significant industry, with ads starting to become a primary source of revenue for newspapers, as well as a natural means of communication between buyers and sellers, and the many members of a vast community.


Numb. 49

Numb. 49

Domestick Intelligence,
Or, News both from
CITY and COUNTRY.

Domestic Intelligence,
Or, News from
CITY and COUNTRY.

Published to prevent false Reports.

Published to prevent false reports.

Tuesday, Decemb. 23. 1679.

Tuesday, Dec 23, 1679.

London Decemb. 22.

London Dec 22.

LAst Friday being the nineteenth of this Instant December, the Justices of the Peace of Middlesex and Westminster attended His Majesty in Council, to receive Power and Instructions for the removal of all Papists from the Cities of London and Westminster, in pursuance of His Majesties late Proclamation to that Purpose, and being called in, there were Orders given them, to make strict search for all Papists that are His Majesties Subjects, or any other Popish Recusants who have not the Priviledge of continuing here, (in Sommerset House in the Absence of the Queen, as also in His Majesties Palace at St. Jame’s,) and that the said Justices of the Peace, shall seize and Imprison all that be found Transgressors of the Law, and Condemners of His Majesties Authority. His Majesty hath also sent Orders into the Countrey to the several Knights of the Shire, to take an Exact List of the Names of all the Papists of any repute in their Respective Counties, and to return the said List to the Secretary of State, to be communicated to the Council, and that thereupon such Effectual proceedings would be used against them as the utmost Severity and Rigour of the Law will allow, and the said Lists being accordingly returned to the Lords of the Committee appointed to consider of the most Effectual means for putting the Laws in Execution against Papists, and for the suppression of Popery (mentioned in our last) the Lord Chancellor has order to prepare Commissions (in which the said Lists are to be Inserted) which do Impower and require the Justices of Peace of the several Counties in England and Wales, to tender the Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy to all Persons mentioned therein, and in case of their Denial to take the same, to proceed against them according to Law, in order to their speedy Conviction; with the said Commissions are also to be sent special Instructions for the better direction of the said Justices therein, and also Letters from the Council Board, to require and Encourage them diligently to Execute the said Commissions, and to send up an Account of their proceedings, as likewise the Names of all other Papists and Suspected Papists as are not in the said Commissions, And that no Papist shall be allowed a License or Dispensation to stay in Town; Further that a List be taken of all House-keepers, and especially such as entertain Lodgers within the Bills of Morality, and of all Midwives, Apothecaries and Physicians that are Papists or suspected to be such, and to return the List to the Council: And that no Papist may Harbour in any of His Majesties Palaces, a Commission is ordered for the Green-cloth to offer the Oaths of Allegiance, Supremacy and the Test to all Papists and Suspected Papists as shall be found in Whitehall, and the Precinct thereof, who upon refusal are to be proceeded against according to Law, And the Messengers and Knight-Marshals men are ordered to seize and bring them before the said Officers, and a Reward of Ten pound is to be paid to those who shall discover any Papist or suspected Papist in any of His Majesties Houses, and the Officer that harbours them shall be turned out of his Place, and Imployment. And the Officers of the Parishes, where Ambassadors and Forreign Ministers reside shall have Lists brought them of their Menial Servants, and if any others shall presume to resort to their Popish Chappels they shall be seized and prosecuted.

LAst Friday, the nineteenth of this December, the Justices of the Peace for Middlesex and Westminster met with His Majesty in Council to receive authority and instructions for expelling all Catholics from the cities of London and Westminster, in accordance with His Majesty's recent proclamation. Once called in, they were ordered to conduct thorough searches for all Catholics who are His Majesty's subjects, or any other Catholic recusants who do not have the privilege to remain here (in Sommerset House during the Queen's absence, as well as in His Majesty's Palace at St. James’s), and the Justices were instructed to seize and imprison anyone found breaking the law or defying His Majesty's authority. His Majesty has also sent orders to the various Knights of the Shire to compile a detailed list of the names of all notable Catholics in their respective counties and return this list to the Secretary of State, to be shared with the Council. Following this, effective actions will be taken against them as allowed by the utmost severity and strictness of the law. The returned lists will go to the Lords of the Committee assigned to identify the most effective ways to enforce the laws against Catholics and suppress Catholicism (as we mentioned last time). The Lord Chancellor has been instructed to prepare commissions (which will include the lists) empowering and requiring the Justices of the Peace in various counties in England and Wales to administer the Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy to all individuals listed. If they refuse to take the oaths, legal procedures will follow for their swift conviction. Along with these commissions, specific instructions will be sent to guide the Justices, as well as letters from the Council urging and encouraging them to diligently execute the commissions and provide updates on their actions, along with the names of any other Catholics or suspected Catholics not included in the commissions. No Catholic will be permitted to obtain a license or dispensation to stay in town. Additionally, a list will be compiled of all householders, especially those who house lodgers within the city limits, as well as all midwives, apothecaries, and physicians who are Catholics or suspected of being so, and this list will also be sent to the Council. Furthermore, no Catholic may reside in any of His Majesty's palaces. A commission is being issued for the Green-cloth to present the Oaths of Allegiance, Supremacy, and the Test to all Catholics and suspected Catholics found in Whitehall and its vicinity, who will be dealt with according to the law if they refuse. Messengers and Knight-Marshals are ordered to detain those individuals and bring them before the relevant officers, and a reward of ten pounds will be paid to anyone who reports a Catholic or suspected Catholic in any of His Majesty's houses, while any officer harboring them will lose their position and employment. The officers of the parishes where ambassadors and foreign ministers reside will receive lists of their domestic servants, and anyone else found visiting their Catholic chapels will be seized and prosecuted.

It hath been given out that Francis Smith the Bookseller, was upon the seventeenth of this Instant December, by order of the Council Board, Committed to Newgate for Printing the Association, and Seditious Queries upon it, and Promoting Tumultuous Petitions, but our last gave you a True Account of his Committment as expelled in the Warrant, and that he had brought his Habeas Corpus upon the late Act of Parliament, and we can now assure you that upon Friday the Nineteenth Instant he was thereupon restored to his Liberty.

It has been reported that Francis Smith, the bookseller, was arrested on the seventeenth of this month, December, by order of the Council Board and sent to Newgate for printing the Association, and for creating seditious queries about it, as well as promoting tumultuous petitions. However, our last update provided you with a true account of his commitment as stated in the warrant, and that he had filed a habeas corpus under the recent Act of Parliament. We can now confirm that on Friday, the nineteenth of this month, he was restored to his liberty.

This day, December 22. was the Election (according to the Custom of the City of London) of the Common-Council-men for the year ensuing, and all good Protestants are abundantly satisfied, that those who are chosen are such as will stedfastly adhere to the Protestant Interest, and will upon all occasions assert their own, and the Rights of this City.

This day, December 22. was the election (according to the custom of the City of London) of the Common Council members for the upcoming year, and all good Protestants are very satisfied that those who are chosen will firmly support the Protestant interest and will consistently defend their own rights and the rights of this city.

The Gazette having told you, That the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of London, were directed by the Lord Chancellor, by His Majesties Command, not to suffer such persons as should sign tumultous Petitions to go unpunished, but that they should proceed against them, or cause them to be brought before the Council Board to be punished as they deserve, according to a Judgment of all the Judges of England 2 Jacobi, we suppose it may gratifie our Readers curiosity, (and prevent this danger too) to see what the Law Books say therein. Judge Crook in his Reports, folio 37. saith, That by command from the King, all the Justices of England, and divers of the Nobility, with the Archbishop of Canterbury, and Bishop of London, were Assembled in the Star-chamber, when the Lord Chancellor demanded of the Judges, whether it were an Offence punishable, and what punishment they deserve, who framed Petitions, and Collected a multitude of hands thereto, to present to the King in a publick cause, as the Puritans had done, (which was as it seems for Alteration of the Law (with an intimation to the King, that if he denied their Suit, many Thousands of his Subjects would be discontented;) whereto all the Justices answered, “That it was an Offence fineable at Discretion, and very near Treason and Fellony, in the punishment, for they tended to the Raising of Sedition, Rebellion, and Discontent among the People,” To which Resolution all the Lords agreed, and then many of the Lords declared that some of the Puritans had raised a false Rumor of the King, how he intended to to grant a Toleration to Papists, which offence the Justices conceived to be highly fineable by the Rules of the Common Law, either in the Kings Bench, or by the King and his Council, or now since the Statute of the 3. Henry 7. in the Star-chamber, The Lords severally, declared how the King was discontented with the said false Rumor, and had made but the day before a Protestation unto them, That he never Intended it, and that he would spend the last Drop of Blood in his body before he would do it, and prayed that before any of his issue should maintain any other Religion then what he truly professed and maintained, that God would take them out of the world.

The Gazette informed you that the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of London were ordered by the Lord Chancellor, at the King's command, not to let those who signed disorderly petitions go unpunished, but to take action against them or bring them before the Council Board to face justice as they should, based on a ruling from all the judges of England 2 Jacobi. We think it might satisfy our readers' curiosity (and also prevent this danger) to see what the law books say about this. Judge Crook in his Reports, folio 37. states that on the King's orders, all the justices of England, along with various nobles, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and the Bishop of London, were gathered in the Star Chamber. The Lord Chancellor asked the judges whether it was a punishable offense and what punishment should be meted out to those who created petitions and gathered many signatures to present to the King in a public matter, as the Puritans had done (which was apparently for changes to the law), hinting to the King that if he denied their request, many thousands of his subjects would be discontented. All the justices replied, “It is an offense punishable by a fine at discretion, and very close to treason and felony in terms of punishment, as it incites sedition, rebellion, and discontent among the people.” All the Lords concurred with this conclusion, and many of them noted that some of the Puritans had spread a false rumor about the King, claiming he intended to grant tolerance to Papists. The justices considered this offense to be significantly punishable by the rules of common law, either in the King's Bench, or by the King and his Council, or now after the statute of 3. Henry 7. in the Star Chamber. The Lords each declared how the King was upset about this false rumor and had protested the day before, saying, “He never intended it, and he would spend the last drop of blood in his body before he would do it. He prayed that before any of his heirs should support a different religion than the one he truly professed and upheld, God would take them out of the world.”

There were Eleven Persons Condemned to dye the last Sessions in the Old Baily, six Men and five Women, but one man and three women received a Gracious Reprieve from His Majesty, the other seven suffered at Tyburn upon Friday last the Nineteenth Instant, whose Names and Crimes follow, John Parker by Trade a Watchmaker, for Clipping and Coining, having been formerly Convicted of the like at Salisbury; Benjamin Penry, a lusty stout man, convicted of being a Notorious Highway-man, and Companion with French Executed last Sessions; John Dell, who with Richard Dean, his Servant were heretofore Tryed, for the Murder of Dells wives Brother, and now of his wife, which seemed rather to want Proof then Truth, they were both Condemned for stealing a Mare, and Executed for the same; This Dean set fire of the Room wherein he lay at two Places the Night before he was Executed; William Atkins for Fellony, being an old Trader in that way; The two women, Susan White, and Deborah Rogers were both old Offenders.

There were eleven people sentenced to die at the last sessions in the Old Bailey, six men and five women, but one man and three women received a gracious reprieve from His Majesty. The other seven were executed at Tyburn last Friday, the nineteenth of this month. Their names and crimes are as follows: John Parker, a watchmaker by trade, for clipping and coining, having previously been convicted of similar crimes in Salisbury; Benjamin Penry, a strong man, convicted of being a notorious highwayman and a companion of French, who was executed last session; John Dell, who along with Richard Dean, his servant, had previously been tried for the murder of Dell's wife's brother and was now charged with the murder of his wife. Their case seemed to lack proof rather than truth, yet they were both condemned for stealing a mare and executed for that. This Dean set fire to the room where he was staying in two places the night before he was executed; William Atkins for felony, being an old trader in that line; the two women, Susan White and Deborah Rogers, were both repeat offenders.

The Right Honourable the Earl of Shaftesbury hath been lately ill, but is pretty well recovered to the Joy of all Good Protestants.

The Right Honourable the Earl of Shaftesbury has been unwell recently, but is almost fully recovered to the joy of all good Protestants.

From Holland they write, That there are some hopes of a League Offensive and Defensive between His Majesty and the States General of the United Provinces, but on the contrary many fear that a League will be concluded between the said States, and the French King.

From Holland, they report that there are some hopes for a mutual offensive and defensive alliance between His Majesty and the States General of the United Provinces, but on the flip side, many are concerned that an alliance will be formed between the said States and the French King.

The Report of the Death of the Dutchess of Cleaveland is altogether false and groundless, she having not been indisposed of late.

The report of the death of the Duchess of Cleaveland is completely false and unfounded, as she has not been unwell lately.

Mr. Benjamin Claypool attended the Council again upon Fryday last, and was discharged from the custody of the Messenger being told that his word should be taken for his Appearance when he should be summoned.

Mr. Benjamin Claypool attended the Council again last Friday and was released from the Messenger's custody, having been told that his word would be accepted for his appearance when he was summoned.

Mr. Mason Attended the Council about writing News Letters, and entred into Recognizance to appear after the Holidays, upon which he was discharged from the custody of the Messenger.

Mr. Mason attended the Council about writing newsletters and agreed to return after the holidays, at which point he was released from the Messenger's custody.

Captain Sharp attended upon summons for erecting some buildings upon Tower-hill, and was ordered to produce all his Deeds and Records to the Attorney General, who is to Inspect them and make a Report thereof to the Council Board.

Captain Sharp responded to a summons regarding the construction of some buildings on Tower-hill and was instructed to provide all his deeds and records to the Attorney General, who will review them and report back to the Council Board.

For the readier dispatch of Affairs, there are three Committees sit this day December, the 22th. at Whitehall, one about Jamaica, Another concerning Trade and the Forreign Plantations, and a Third about Tangier, to which place we hear there is order for sending more Forces and Provisions, for the reinforcing that Garrison, and preventing any danger that may arise from the Moors. We hear further from thence that there are several persons who were formerly Roman Catholicks, and amongst the rest Captain St. Johns, Captain Talbut, and one Mr. White since made a Captain, with divers others who have freely and voluntarily renounced the said Religion, and are become Protestants, having received the Sacrament according to the usage of the Church of England, the chief motive of their conversion proceeding from their conviction of the Horrid Principles and the bloody Trayterous; and damnable practises of the Popish Faction, and especially since the discovery of the Hellish Popish Plot against His Majesties Person, the Protestant Religion, and for enslaving the Kingdom.

To handle matters more efficiently, three committees are meeting today, December 22, at Whitehall: one focusing on Jamaica, another on trade and foreign plantations, and a third on Tangier. We’ve heard that orders are in place to send more troops and supplies to fortify that garrison and prevent any threats from the Moors. Additionally, we've heard that several individuals who were previously Roman Catholics, including Captain St. Johns, Captain Talbut, and Mr. White—who has since been made a captain—along with many others, have freely and voluntarily renounced that religion and become Protestants. They have received the sacrament according to the practices of the Church of England, with their main motivation for this change stemming from their realization of the horrific principles and treacherous, bloody, and damned actions of the Papist faction, especially following the discovery of the nefarious Papist plot against His Majesty's person, the Protestant religion, and the enslavement of the kingdom.

There is a Report that three Suns were lately seen about Richmond in Surrey, by divers credible persons, of which different observations are made according to the fancy of the People.

There’s a report that three suns were recently spotted near Richmond in Surrey by several reliable people, and different comments have been made based on what people think.

This day, Decemb. 22. Captain William Bedlow one of the Kings Evidence, who has been so instrumental in discovering the Hellish Popish Plot, and thereby (under God) for preserving his Majesties Person and the whole Nation, was married to a Lady of a very considerable Fortune.

This day, December 22. Captain William Bedlow, one of the King's witnesses, who has played a key role in uncovering the Hellish Popish Plot, and thus (with God's help) in protecting his Majesty's life and the entire Nation, was married to a lady with a significant fortune.

There being Intimation given, that Mrs. Celier the Popish Midwife now a Prisoner in Newgate, would make some Discovery of the Plot, and the Counter Plot; She was brought before the Councill last week, but would confess nothing; whereupon Justice Warcup produced some information against her taken before him; Upon which she acknowledged the greatest part of what was charged against her, and thereby gave very strong Confirmation to the Truth of Mr. Thomas Dangerfields Depositions, concerning that cursed Conspiracy managed by the Lady Powis, herself, and several others, for the destruction of many Hundreds of his Majesties Loyal Protestant Subjects.

There was a tip-off that Mrs. Celier, the Catholic midwife currently in Newgate prison, might reveal some details about the plot and the counterplot. She appeared before the council last week but wouldn’t admit to anything. Then, Justice Warcup presented some information against her that he had received. After that, she admitted to most of the charges against her, which provided strong evidence supporting Mr. Thomas Dangerfield's statements about that wicked conspiracy led by Lady Powis and several others aimed at the destruction of many hundreds of His Majesty's loyal Protestant subjects.

It is reported, that a Quaker fell in love with a Lady of very great Quality, and hath extraordinarily petitioned to obtain her for his Wife.

It is reported that a Quaker fell in love with a lady of very high status and has made an extraordinary request to marry her.

Upon the 17th. instant in the evening Mr. Dryden the great Poet, was set upon in Rose-street in Covent Garden, by three persons, who calling him rogue, and Son of a whore, knockt him down and dangerously wounded him, but upon his crying out murther, they made their escape; it is conceived that they had their pay beforehand, and designed not to rob him but to execute on him some Feminine, if not Popish vengeance.

On the evening of the 17th, Mr. Dryden, the great poet, was attacked in Rose-street in Covent Garden by three individuals who called him a rogue and a son of a whore. They knocked him down and seriously injured him, but when he shouted for help, they managed to escape. It is believed they were paid in advance and intended not to rob him but to carry out some kind of Feminine, if not Popish, vengeance.

Mr. Stretch the Custome-house Waiter, who seized the Papers in Colonel Mansells lodgings, and was soon after suspended from his place, upon his humble Petition to His Majesty, was yesterday restored.

Mr. Stretch, the Custom-house waiter, who took the papers in Colonel Mansell's apartment and was soon after suspended from his job, was restored yesterday after his humble petition to His Majesty.

In pursuance of His Majesties most strict order for the removing all Papists and Suspected Papists, from his Palace, the Dutchess of Portsmouths Servants that are of the Romish Church are discharged.

In response to the King’s strict order to remove all Papists and suspected Papists from his Palace, the Dutchess of Portsmouth's servants who are from the Romish Church have been let go.

It hath pleased His Majesty to take from His Grace the Duke of Monmouth, the Office of the Master of the Horse, that being the only place which remained to him; but we know not yet who shall succeed him, and the Earl of Feversham is made Master of the Horse to the Queen.

It has pleased His Majesty to remove from His Grace the Duke of Monmouth the position of Master of the Horse, which was the only position left to him; however, we still do not know who will take his place, and the Earl of Feversham has been appointed as the Queen's Master of the Horse.

Advertisements.

Ads.

THese are to give Notice That the Right Honourable the Lord Maior, and the Commissioners of Serveyors for the City of London, and the Liberties thereof; have constituted and appointed Samuel Potts and Robert Davies, Citizens; to be the General Rakers of the said City and Liberties, and do keep their Office in Red Lyon Court, in Watling-street, where any Person or Persons that are desirous to be Imployed under them, as Carters and Sweepers of the Streets, may repair from Eight a Clock in the morning, till Twelve a Clock at noon, and from two till six at night, where they may be entertained accordingly: And if any Gardners, Farmers or others will be furnisht with any Dung Soyl or Compost, may there agree for it at reasonable rates; and all Gentlemen having private Stables, and all Inholders and Masters of Livery Stables and all others, are desired to repair thither for the carrying away of their Dung and Soil from their respective Stables, and other places, according to an Act of Common Council for that purpose.

THese are to give Notice That the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor, and the Commissioners of Surveyors for the City of London, and its Liberties; have appointed Samuel Potts and Robert Davies, Citizens, to be the General Rakers of the City and its Liberties, and they will hold their Office in Red Lyon Court, on Watling Street, where anyone interested in working for them as Carters and Street Sweepers may come from eight in the morning until twelve noon, and from two to six in the evening, where they can be hired accordingly: And if any Gardeners, Farmers, or others want to obtain any dung, soil, or compost, they can negotiate for it at reasonable prices; and all gentlemen with private stables, as well as all Innkeepers and owners of livery stables, are requested to come there for the removal of their dung and soil from their stables and other locations, in accordance with an Act of Common Council for that purpose.

THere is newly published a Pack of Cards, containing an History of all the Popish Plots that have been in England: beginning with those in Queen Elizabeth time, and ending with this last damnable plot against his Majesty Charles II: Excellently engraved on Copper Plates, with very larg descriptions under each Card. The like not extant. Sold by Randal Taylor near Stationers-hall, and Benjamin Harris at the Stationers Arms under the Royal Exchange in Cornhill.

THere is a newly published Pack of Cards, featuring a History of all the Popish Plots that have occurred in England: starting with those in the time of Queen Elizabeth and concluding with this recent terrible plot against his Majesty Charles II: Beautifully engraved on Copper Plates, with very large descriptions under each Card. Nothing like it exists. Available from Randal Taylor near Stationers-hall, and Benjamin Harris at the Stationers Arms under the Royal Exchange in Cornhill.

THe Milleners Goods that was to be Sold at the Naked Boy near Strand Bridge, are Sold at Mr. Vanden Anker in Limestreet.

THe Milleners Goods that were supposed to be sold at the Naked Boy near Strand Bridge, are now sold at Mr. Vanden Anker in Limestreet.

Lost on Sunday night the 11 Instant in the Meuse, a pocket with a Watch in a single Studded Case, made by Richard Lyons; also a Bunch of Keyes, and other things; whoever brings them to Mr. Bently in Covent-Garden, or Mr. Allen at the Meuse Gate shall have 20 s. Reward.

Lost on Sunday night, the 11th of this month, in the Meuse, a pocket watch in a single studded case made by Richard Lyons; also a bunch of keys and some other items; whoever returns them to Mr. Bently in Covent Garden, or Mr. Allen at the Meuse Gate will receive a reward of 20 shillings.

London, Printed for Benjamin Harris at the Stationers Armes in the Piazza under the Royal Exchange in Cornhill, 1679.

London, published for Benjamin Harris at the Stationers’ Arms in the Piazza below the Royal Exchange in Cornhill, 1679.

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The victories of Cromwell gave Scotland her first newspaper. This was called the Mercurius Politicus, and appeared at Leith in October 1653; but it was in November 1654 transferred to Edinburgh, where it was continued until the 11th April 1660, when it was rechristened, and appeared as the Mercurius Publicus. This paper was but a reprint, for the information of the English soldiers, of a London publication. But a newspaper of native manufacture, we are told by a contemporary writer, soon made its appearance under the title of Mercurius Caledonius. The first number of this was published at Edinburgh on the 31st December 1660, and comprised, as its title sets forth, “the affairs in agitation in Scotland, with a summary of foreign intelligence.” The publication, however, extended to no more than ten numbers, which, it is said by Chambers, “were very loyal, very illiterate, and very affected.” After the Revolution the custom was still to reprint in Scotland the papers published in London, an economic way of doing business, which savours much of the proverbial thrift peculiar to the Land o’ Cakes. In February 1699 the Edinburgh Gazette, the first original Scotch newspaper or periodical, was published by James Watson, author of a “History of Printing;” but he, after producing forty numbers, transferred it to a Mr John Reid, whose son continued to print the paper till even after the Union. In February 1705, Watson, who seems to have been what would now be called a promoter of newspapers, established the Edinburgh Courant, but relinquished it after the publication of fifty-five numbers, and in September 1706 commenced the Scots Courant, with which he remained connected until about 1718. To these papers were added in October 1708 the Edinburgh Flying Post; in[6] August 1709 the Scots Postman, “printed by David Fearne for John Moncur;” and in March 1710 the North Tatler, “printed by John Reid for Samuel Colvil.” In 1715 the foundation was laid of the present splendid Glasgow press by the establishment of the Courant, but this did not in any way affect the publications in the then far more important town of Edinburgh. In March 1714 Robert Brown commenced the Edinburgh Gazette or Scots Postman, which was published twice a week; and in December 1718 the Town Council gave an exclusive privilege to James M‘Ewen to publish three times a week the Edinburgh Evening Courant, upon condition, however, that before publication “the said James should give ane coppie of his print to the magistrates.” This journal is still published, and it is but fair to assume that the original stipulation is yet complied with. The Caledonian Mercury followed the Courant on the 28th of April 1720, and was, like its forerunner, a tri-weekly organ. In these, as well as in those we have mentioned, advertisements slowly but gradually and surely began to make their appearance, and, as the sequel proves, to show their value.

The victories of Cromwell led to the creation of Scotland's first newspaper. It was called Mercurius Politicus and started in Leith in October 1653; however, in November 1654, it moved to Edinburgh, where it continued until April 11, 1660, when it was renamed Mercurius Publicus. This paper was essentially a reprint, aimed at informing English soldiers, of a publication from London. According to a contemporary writer, a locally produced newspaper soon emerged under the title Mercurius Caledonius. The first issue was published in Edinburgh on December 31, 1660, and included, as its title states, “the affairs in agitation in Scotland, with a summary of foreign intelligence.” However, it lasted only ten issues, which Chambers described as “very loyal, very illiterate, and very affected.” After the Revolution, Scotland continued the practice of reprinting London newspapers, a cost-effective approach that reflects the well-known thriftiness of the Land o’ Cakes. In February 1699, the Edinburgh Gazette, the first original Scottish newspaper or periodical, was published by James Watson, the author of a “History of Printing;” but he handed it over to Mr. John Reid after producing forty issues, and Reid's son continued printing it even after the Union. In February 1705, Watson, who could be seen as an early newspaper promoter, launched the Edinburgh Courant, but he gave it up after fifty-five issues, and in September 1706, he started the Scots Courant, which he remained involved with until around 1718. In October 1708, the Edinburgh Flying Post was added, followed by the Scots Postman in August 1709, “printed by David Fearne for John Moncur;” and in March 1710, the North Tatler, “printed by John Reid for Samuel Colvil.” In 1715, the foundation for the current impressive Glasgow press was established with the launch of the Courant, but this didn’t impact the more significant publications in Edinburgh at the time. In March 1714, Robert Brown started the Edinburgh Gazette or Scots Postman, which was published twice a week; and in December 1718, the Town Council granted James M‘Ewen exclusive rights to publish the Edinburgh Evening Courant three times a week, on the condition that he first provided a copy of his publication to the magistrates. This journal is still in circulation, and it's reasonable to assume that the original condition is still being met. The Caledonian Mercury followed the Courant on April 28, 1720, and was also a tri-weekly publication. In both this and the previously mentioned papers, advertisements gradually began to appear, and as history shows, they proved to be valuable.

It is stated by several writers that the earliest English provincial newspaper is believed to be the Norwich Postman, which was published in 1706 at the price of a penny, and which bore the quaint statement, that a halfpenny would not be refused. Newspaper proprietors, publishers, and editors were then evidently, so far as Norwich is concerned, less strong than they are now in their own conceit, and in their belief in the press as an organ of great power. This Postman was followed in 1714 by the Norwich Courant or Weekly Packet. York and Leeds followed in 1720, Manchester in 1730, and Oxford in 1740. It was not, however, until advertising became an important branch of commercial speculation that the provincial press began in any way to flourish. Now the journals published in our largest country towns[7] command extensive circulations, and are regarded by many advertising agents, whose opinions are fairly worth taking, as being much more remunerative media than our best London papers. For certain purposes, and under certain circumstances, the same may be said of colonial newspapers, which have, of course, grown up with the colonies in which they are published; for it must be always borne in mind that the essence of advertising is to place your statement where it is most likely to be seen by those most interested in it, and so a newspaper with a very limited supply of readers indeed is often more valuable to the advertiser of peculiar wares or wants than one with “the largest circulation in the world,” if that circulation does not reach the class of readers most affected by those who pay for publicity. It would seem, however, that the largest class of advertisers, the general public, who employ no agents, and who consider a large sale everything that is necessary, ignore the argument of the true expert, and lose sight of the fact that, no matter how extensive a circulation may be, it is intrinsically useless unless flowing through the channel which is fairly likely to effect the purpose for which the advertisement is inserted. It is customary to see a sheet, detached from the paper with which it is issued, full of advertisements, which are, of course, unread by all but those who are professedly readers of public announcements, and who are also, of course, not only in a decided minority, but not at all the people to whom the notices are generally directed. The smallest modicum of thought will show how grievous is the error which leads to such a result, and how much better it is to regard actual circulation but as so much evidence as to the value of an advertisement only, and not as a whole, sole, and complete qualification. Not in any incautious way do those who are most qualified to judge of value for money act. Turn to any paper of repute, and it will be seen that the professional advertiser, the theatrical manager, the publisher, the auctioneer, and[8] the others whom constant practice has made wary, lay out their money on quite a different principle from that of the casual advertiser. They have learned their lesson, and if they pay extra for position or insertion, they know that their outlay is remunerative; whereas, if it were not governed by caution and system, it would be simply ruinous. In fact, advertising is a most expensive luxury if not properly regulated, and a most valuable adjunct when coolness and calculation are brought to bear upon it as accessories.

It is said by several writers that the first English provincial newspaper is thought to be the Norwich Postman, published in 1706 for a penny, which also mentioned that a halfpenny would be accepted. Back then, newspaper owners, publishers, and editors in Norwich seemed to have less confidence in themselves and in the press as a powerful tool than they do today. The Postman was later followed in 1714 by the Norwich Courant or Weekly Packet. York and Leeds got their newspapers in 1720, Manchester in 1730, and Oxford in 1740. However, it wasn’t until advertising became a significant part of business that the provincial press truly began to thrive. Now, newspapers in our largest towns[7] have wide circulation and are seen by many advertising agents, whose views are quite credible, as much more profitable than our best London papers. For specific purposes and in certain situations, the same can be said for colonial newspapers, which have obviously grown alongside the colonies in which they are published. It's important to remember that the key to advertising is placing your message where it’s most likely to be seen by those who care about it. Thus, a newspaper with a very limited readership can sometimes be more valuable to advertisers of niche products than one with “the largest circulation in the world,” especially if that broad circulation doesn’t reach the audience that the advertisers need. However, it seems that the largest group of advertisers, the general public—who don’t use agents and consider a large sale as all that matters—often overlook the insights of true experts and fail to realize that extensive circulation is useless unless it connects with the right audience for the advertisement's purpose. It’s common to see a sheet detached from a newspaper filled with ads, which are usually only read by those specifically looking for public announcements. These individuals clearly make up a small minority and are not typically the target audience for those ads. Even a little thought will reveal how serious the mistake is that leads to such outcomes, and how much better it is to view actual circulation as merely an indicator of an advertisement's value rather than its sole qualification. Those best qualified to judge value for money do not act recklessly. If you look at any reputable paper, you'll see that professional advertisers—like theatrical managers, publishers, auctioneers, and others familiar with the field—spend their money based on a totally different principle than casual advertisers. They’ve learned the ropes, and if they pay extra for a specific position or placement, they know it’s worth it; otherwise, without careful planning, it would simply lead to waste. In reality, advertising can be a very expensive luxury if not managed well, but it becomes a highly valuable tool when approached with calmness and strategy.

The heavy duties originally imposed upon newspapers, both on them and their advertisements, were at first a considerable check to the number of notices appearing in them. For, in the first place, the high price of the papers narrowed the limits of their application; and, in the second, the extra charge on the advertisements made them above the reach of almost all but those who were themselves possessed of means, or whose business it was to pander to the unholy and libidinous desires of the wealthy. This, we fancy, will be extensively proved by a reference to the following pages; for while it is our endeavour to keep from this book all really objectionable items, we are desirous that it shall place before the reader a true picture of the times in which the advertisements appeared; and we are not to be checked in our duty by any false delicacy, or turned from the true course by any squeamishness, which, unfortunately for us in these days, but encourages the vices it attempts to ignore.

The heavy taxes initially placed on newspapers, both for the publications and their ads, significantly limited the number of notices that appeared in them. First, the high cost of the newspapers restricted their usage; second, the additional fees for advertisements made them accessible only to those with wealth or those catering to the immoral desires of the rich. We believe this will be clearly demonstrated in the following pages. While we strive to keep truly objectionable content out of this book, we want to present an accurate representation of the times when these advertisements appeared. We won’t let false modesty or any kind of squeamishness deter us from our responsibility, as these attitudes only serve to promote the vices they're trying to ignore.

The stamp duty on newspapers was first imposed in 1713, and was one halfpenny for half a sheet or less, and one penny “if larger than half a sheet and not exceeding a whole sheet.” This duty was increased a halfpenny by an Act of Parliament, 30 Geo. II. c. 19; and by another Act, 16 Geo. III. c. 34, another halfpenny was added to the tax. This not being considered sufficient, a further addition of a halfpenny was made (29 Geo. III. c. 50), and in the thirty-seventh year of the same wise monarch’s reign (c. 90) three-halfpence more was all at once placed to the debit[9] of newspaper readers, which brought the sum total of the duty up to fourpence. An Act of 6 & 7 Will. IV. c. 76 reduced this duty to one penny, with the proviso, however, that when the sheet contained 1550 superficial inches on either side, an extra halfpenny was to be paid, and when it contained 2295, an extra penny. An additional halfpenny was also charged on a supplement, which may be regarded, when the use of supplements in the present day is taken into consideration, as an indirect tax on advertisements. In 1855, by an Act 18 & 19 Vict. c. 27, this stamp duty was abolished, and immediately an immense number of newspapers started into existence, most of which, however, obtained but a most ephemeral being, and died away, leaving no sign. There are, however, a large number of good and useful papers still flourishing, which would never have been published but for the repeal of the newspaper stamp duty. To such repeal many rich men owe their prosperity, while to the same source may now be ascribed the poverty of numbers who were once affluent. At this time, of course, the old papers also reduced their rates, and from thence has grown a system of newspaper reading and advertising which twenty years ago could hardly have been imagined. Up to the repeal of the stamp duty few people bought newspapers for themselves, and many newsvendors’ chief duty was to lend the Times out for a penny per hour, while a second or third day’s newspaper was considered quite a luxury by those whom business or habit compelled to stay at home, and therefore who were unable to glance over the news—generally while some impatient person was scowlingly waiting his turn—at the tavern bar or the coffee-house. Now almost every one buys a penny paper for himself, and with the increase in the circulation of newspapers has, in proportionate ratio, gone on the increase in the demand for advertisements. The supply has, as every one knows, been in no way short of the demand. The repeal of the paper duty in 1861 also affected newspapers[10] much, though naturally in a smaller degree than the abolition of the compulsory stamp. Still the effect on both the papers and their advertisements—especially as concerns those journals which were enabled to still farther reduce their rates—was considerable, and deserves to be noted. In September 1870 the compulsory stamp, which had been retained for postal purposes, was abolished, and on the 1st of October papers were first sent by post with a halfpenny stamp affixed on the wrappers, and not on the journals themselves.

The stamp duty on newspapers was first introduced in 1713, set at half a penny for half a sheet or less, and one penny for anything larger than half a sheet but not exceeding a whole sheet. This duty was raised by half a penny through an Act of Parliament, 30 Geo. II. c. 19; and another Act, 16 Geo. III. c. 34, added another half penny to the tax. This increase was deemed insufficient, so yet another half penny was added (29 Geo. III. c. 50), and in the thirty-seventh year of the same wise king's reign (c. 90), an additional three and a half pence was charged at once to newspaper readers, bringing the total duty to four pence. An Act of 6 & 7 Will. IV. c. 76 lowered this duty to one penny, with the condition that if the sheet had 1550 square inches on either side, an extra half penny was to be paid, and for 2295 square inches, an additional penny. An extra half penny was also applied to a supplement, which, considering the current use of supplements, can be viewed as an indirect tax on advertisements. In 1855, via an Act 18 & 19 Vict. c. 27, this stamp duty was eliminated, leading to the rapid emergence of numerous newspapers. Most of these, however, had a brief existence and soon disappeared without a trace. Nonetheless, a significant number of valuable and useful papers continue to thrive, thanks to the repeal of the newspaper stamp duty. Many wealthy individuals owe their success to this repeal, while it also contributes to the current poverty of many who were once well-off. At that time, the older papers also lowered their rates, giving rise to a system of newspaper reading and advertising that would have been unimaginable twenty years earlier. Before the repeal of the stamp duty, few people bought newspapers for themselves, with many newsvendors primarily lending the Times for a penny an hour. A second or third day's newspaper was seen as quite a luxury for those who had to stay home due to business or habit, unable to skim through the news—usually while an impatient person waited scowlingly for their turn—at the tavern bar or the coffee house. Now, almost everyone buys a penny paper for themselves, and with the growth in newspaper circulation, the demand for advertisements has also increased proportionately. The supply has, as everyone knows, kept pace with the demand. The repeal of the paper duty in 1861 also significantly impacted newspapers, albeit to a lesser extent than the removal of the compulsory stamp. Still, the effects on both the papers and their advertisements—especially for those journals that could further lower their rates—were substantial and worth noting. In September 1870, the compulsory stamp, which had been retained for postal purposes, was abolished, and on October 1st, newspapers were first sent by post with a halfpenny stamp affixed on the wrappers, rather than on the journals themselves.

But it was to the abolition of the impost upon advertisements that their present great demand and importance can be most directly traced. For many years a very heavy tax was charged upon every notice published in a paper and paid for, until 1833 no less than 3s. 6d. being chargeable upon each advertisement inserted, no matter what its length or subject-matter. People then, we should imagine—in fact, as application to the papers of that time proves—were not so fond of cutting a long advertisement into short and separate pieces as they are now, for every cut-off rule then meant a charge of 3s. 6d. In 1832, the last year of this charge, the produce of this branch of the revenue in Great Britain and Ireland amounted to £170,649. Fancy what the returns would be if 3s. 6d. were charged on every advertisement published throughout the United Kingdom for the year ending December 31, 1873! It seems almost too great a sum for calculation. There is no doubt, however, that many people would be very glad to do the figures for a very slight percentage on the returns, which would be fabulous, and which would, if properly calculated, amaze many of those laudatores temporis acti who, without reason or provocation, are always deploring the decay of everything, and who would unhesitatingly affirm in their ignorance that even newspapers and newspaper advertisements have deteriorated in tone and quantity since the good old times, of which they prove they know nothing by their persistent[11] praises. Certainly if they did say this, they would not be much more wrong than they are generally when lamenting over a period which, could it but return, they would be, as a rule, the very first to object to. Of the sum of £170,649 just referred to, about £127,986, or three-fourths of the whole, may be regarded as being drawn from newspapers, and the other fourth from periodical publications. In 1837, four years after the reduced charge of 1s. 6d. for each advertisement had become law, a table was compiled from the detailed returns of the first six months. As it will doubtless prove interesting to those who take an interest in the growth and increase of newspapers, as well as in those of advertisements, we append it:—

But their current high demand and significance can be traced directly to the removal of the tax on advertisements. For many years, a hefty tax was imposed on every notice published in a newspaper that was paid for, with 3s. 6d. charged for each advertisement, regardless of its length or content, until 1833. Back then, people—this is supported by applications to newspapers of that era—weren’t as keen on breaking up long advertisements into shorter sections as they are today since every cut meant an extra charge of 3s. 6d. In 1832, the last year this tax was applied, the revenue from this source in Great Britain and Ireland totaled £170,649. Imagine what the total would be if 3s. 6d. were charged on every advertisement published across the UK for the year ending December 31, 1873! It seems almost too big to calculate. However, it's clear that many people would be eager to crunch the numbers for just a small percentage of the returns, which would be astonishing and, if properly calculated, would surprise many of those who endlessly lament the decline of everything—who, without cause or reason, claim that newspapers and advertisements have worsened in quality and quantity since the “good old days” they clearly know nothing about, as shown by their constant praises. If they did make such claims, they wouldn’t be much more mistaken than they usually are when they mourn a past era that, if it were to return, they would likely be the first to complain about. Of the £170,649 mentioned earlier, around £127,986, or three-quarters of the total, can be considered as coming from newspapers, with the remaining quarter from periodical publications. In 1837, four years after the reduced charge of 1s. 6d. per advertisement was enacted, a table was created from the detailed returns of the first six months. As it will likely be of interest to those who care about the growth and increase of newspapers and advertisements, we’ve included it:—

  No. of
Papers.
No. of
Stamps.
No. of
Advertise-
ments.
Amount of
Advertisement Duty.
London Papers, 93 15,100,197 292,033 £21,902 9 6
English Provincial Papers, 217 7,290,452 317,474 23,810 11 0
Welsh Papers, 10 190,955 6,499 487 6 6
Edinburgh Papers, 13 768,071 20,579 1,543 9 6
Scotch Provincial Papers, 46 1,121,658 45,371 3,402 16 8
Dublin Papers, 21 1,493,838 45,848 2,292 8 0
Irish Provincial Papers, 60 1,049,358 41,284 2,064 4 0
Total in Great Britain and Ireland, 460 27,014,529 769,088 £55,503 5 2

The reduction to which we have alluded was followed in 1853 by the total abolition of the advertisement duty, the effect of which can be best appreciated by a glance at the columns of any daily or weekly paper, class or general, which possesses a good circulation.

The reduction we mentioned was followed in 1853 by the complete removal of the advertisement duty, which you can really understand by looking at the pages of any daily or weekly newspaper, whether specialized or general, that has a good readership.

The first paper published in Ireland was a sheet called Warranted Tidings from Ireland, and this appeared during[12] the rebellion of 1641; but the first Irish newspaper worthy of the name was the Dublin Newsletter, commenced in 1685. Pue’s Occurrences, a Dublin daily paper, originated in 1700, was continued for half a century, and was followed in 1728 by another daily paper, Faulkner’s Journal, established by one George Faulkner, “a man celebrated for the goodness of his heart and the weakness of his head.” The oldest existing Dublin papers are Saunders’s (originally Esdaile’s) Newsletter, begun in 1744, and the Freeman’s Journal, instituted under the title of the Public Register, by Dr Lucas in 1755. The Limerick Chronicle, the oldest Irish provincial newspaper, dates from 1768. Ireland has now nearly 150 newspapers, most of them celebrated for the energy of their language and the extreme fervour of their political opinions. Their Conservatism and Liberalism are nearly equally divided; about a score take independent views, and nearly fifty completely eschew politics. Irish newspapers flourish as vehicles for advertisement, and their tariffs are about on a par with those of our leading provincial journals.

The first paper published in Ireland was a sheet called Warranted Tidings from Ireland, which appeared during the rebellion of 1641; however, the first Irish newspaper that truly deserves the title was the Dublin Newsletter, which started in 1685. Pue’s Occurrences, a daily paper from Dublin that began in 1700, continued for fifty years, and was followed in 1728 by another daily, Faulkner’s Journal, founded by George Faulkner, “a man known for his kindness and his lack of common sense.” The oldest existing Dublin papers are Saunders’s (originally Esdaile’s) Newsletter, which started in 1744, and the Freeman’s Journal, launched as the Public Register by Dr. Lucas in 1755. The Limerick Chronicle, the oldest provincial newspaper in Ireland, has been around since 1768. Today, Ireland has nearly 150 newspapers, many of which are known for their lively language and passionate political views. Their Conservatism and Liberalism are almost evenly split; about twenty take independent stances, while nearly fifty completely avoid politics. Irish newspapers thrive as platforms for advertisements, and their rates are similar to those of our top regional journals.

Colonial newspapers are plentiful and good, and the best of them filled with advertisements of a general character at fairly high rates. Those papers published in Melbourne are perhaps the best specimens of colonial journalism, and best among these are the Argus and Age (daily), and the Australasian and Leader (weekly). In fact, we have hardly a weekly paper in London that is fit to compare on all-round merits with the last-named, which is a complete representative of the best class of Australian life, and contains a great show of advertisements, which do much to enlighten the reader as to Antipodean manners and customs.

Colonial newspapers are abundant and of good quality, with the best ones filled with a variety of advertisements at relatively high rates. The papers published in Melbourne are probably the finest examples of colonial journalism, with the top ones being the Argus and Age (daily), and the Australasian and Leader (weekly). In fact, there's hardly a weekly paper in London that can compare in terms of overall quality with the latter, which truly represents the best of Australian life and features a wide range of advertisements that help inform readers about Antipodean customs and lifestyle.

American newspapers are of course plentiful, and their advertisements, as will be shown during the progress of this volume, are often of an almost unique character. Throughout the United States, newspapers start up like rockets, to fall like sticks; but now and then a success is made, and if once Fortune is secured by an adventurous[13] speculator, she is rarely indeed allowed to escape. The system of work on American (U.S.) journals is very different from that pursued here, everything on such establishments as those of the New York Herald, the Tribune, and the Times, being sacrificed to news. This is more particularly the case with regard to the Herald, which has an immense circulation and great numbers of highly-priced advertisements, most of which are unfortunately regarded more in connection with the amount of money they produce to the proprietor than in reference to any effect, moral or otherwise, they may have on the community. It is the boast of American journalists that they have papers in obscure towns many hundreds of miles inland, any one of which contains in a single issue as much news—news in the strictest meaning of the word—as the London Times does in six. And, singular as it may at first sight seem, there is a great element of truth about the statement, the telegraph being used in the States with a liberality which would drive an English proprietor to the depths of black despair. The Associated Telegraph Company seem to enjoy a monopoly, and to exercise almost unlimited powers; and not long ago they almost completely ruined a journal of standing in California by refusing to transmit intelligence to it because its editor and proprietor had taken exception to the acts of some members of the Associated Telegraph Company’s staff, and it was only on receipt of a most abject apology from the delinquents that the most autocratic power in the States decided to reinstate the paper on its list. This Telegraph Company charges very high rates, and the only visible means by which this system of journalism is successfully carried out is that of advertisements, which are comparatively more plentiful in these papers than in the English, and are charged for at considerably higher rates. Some of these newspapers, notably a small hebdomadal called the San Francisco Newsletter, go in for a deliberate system of blackmailing, and have no hesitation in acknowledging[14] that their pages, not the advertisement portions, but their editorial columns, are to be bought for any purpose—for the promotion of blasphemy, obscenity, atheism, or any other “notion”—at a price which is regulated according to the editor’s opinion of the former’s value, or the amount of money he may have in his pocket at the time. This is a system of advertising little known, happily, in this “effete old country,” where we have not yet learned to sacrifice all that should be dear and honourable to humanity—openly, at all events—for a money consideration. It is almost impossible to tell the number of papers published throughout the United States of America, each individual State being hardly aware of the quantity it contains, or how many have been born and died within the current twelvemonths. The Americans are a truly great people, but they have not yet settled down into a regular system, so far, at all events, as newspapers and advertisements are concerned.[3]

American newspapers are, of course, everywhere, and their ads, as will be shown throughout this book, are often quite unique. Across the United States, newspapers spring up like rockets only to fall like sticks; however, occasionally one becomes successful, and if a daring entrepreneur manages to capture Fortune, she seldom lets go. The way work is done at American journals is very different from here; at establishments like the New York Herald, the Tribune, and the Times, everything is sacrificed for news. This is especially true for the Herald, which has a massive circulation and many high-priced ads, most of which are unfortunately viewed more in terms of the revenue they bring in for the owner than any impact they may have on the community, whether good or bad. American journalists pride themselves on having newspapers in obscure towns hundreds of miles inland, each offering as much news—true news as the term is strictly defined—in a single issue as the London Times does in six. And, as surprising as it might seem at first, there’s a significant truth to this claim; the telegraph is utilized in the States with a freedom that would send an English owner into deep despair. The Associated Telegraph Company seems to have a monopoly and exerts almost unlimited power; not long ago, they nearly destroyed a well-established paper in California by refusing to transmit news because its editor and owner criticized the actions of some of their staff. It was only after receiving a very humble apology from those in question that this dominant entity decided to restore the paper to its list. This Telegraph Company charges very high fees, and the only apparent way this type of journalism thrives is through advertisements, which are generally more numerous in these papers than in English ones and are charged at significantly higher rates. Some of these newspapers, particularly a small weekly called the San Francisco Newsletter, engage in a blatant system of blackmail and openly admit that their editorial columns—not the ad sections—are up for sale for any purpose, whether to promote blasphemy, obscenity, atheism, or any other “idea” at a price determined by the editor’s opinion of the idea’s worth or the amount of cash he has on hand. This advertising approach is largely unknown, thankfully, in this "effete old country," where we have yet to learn to compromise everything that should be valued and honorable for money—at least not openly. It's nearly impossible to determine how many papers are published across the United States, with each state barely aware of how many it has or how many have come and gone in the past year. The Americans are truly a great people, but they haven't yet settled into a consistent system when it comes to newspapers and advertisements.

The first paper published in America is said to have been the Boston Newsletter, which made its appearance in 1704. The inhabitants of the United States have ever been wideawake to the advantages of advertising, but it would seem that the Empire City is not, as is generally supposed here, first in rank, so far as the speculative powers of its denizens go, if we are to believe the New Orleans correspondent of the New York Tribune, who says in one of his letters:—“The[15] merchants of New Orleans are far more liberal in advertising than those of your city, and it is they alone which support most of our papers. One firm in this city, in the drug business, expends 20,000 dollars a year in job printing, and 30,000 dollars in advertising. A clothing firm has expended 50,000 dollars in advertising in six months. Both establishments are now enjoying the lion’s share of patronage, and are determined to continue such profits and investments. A corn doctor is advertising at over 10,000 dollars a month, and the proprietor of a ‘corner grocery’ on the outskirts of the city has found it advantageous to advertise to the extent of 7000 dollars during the past winter.”

The first newspaper published in America is said to be the Boston Newsletter, which appeared in 1704. The people of the United States have always been aware of the benefits of advertising, but it seems that the Empire City is not, as commonly believed, the leader in this regard when it comes to the ambitions of its residents. According to the New Orleans correspondent of the New York Tribune, who writes in one of his letters:—“The merchants of New Orleans are much more generous with advertising than those in your city, and they are the ones supporting most of our newspapers. One drug company here spends $20,000 a year on job printing and $30,000 on advertising. A clothing company has spent $50,000 on advertising in just six months. Both businesses are currently enjoying a significant share of the market and are committed to maintaining such profits and investments. A corn doctor is advertising for over $10,000 a month, and the owner of a ‘corner grocery’ on the outskirts of the city has found it beneficial to advertise $7,000 over the past winter.”

In London the Times and Telegraph absorb the lion’s share of the advertiser’s money. The former, the leading journal of the day, of independent politics and magnificent proportions, stands forth first, and, to use a sporting phrase, has no second, so far is it in front of all others as regards advertisements, as well as on other grounds. An average number of the Times contains about 2500 advertisements, counting between every cut-off rule; and the receipts in the advertisement department are said to be about £1000 a day, or 8s. each. A number of the Daily Telegraph in December 1873 contains 1444 advertisements (also counting between every cut-off rule), and these may fairly be calculated to produce £500 or thereabouts, the tariff being throughout little less than that of the Times; for what it lacks in power and influence the Telegraph is supposed to make up in circulation. This is rather a change for the organ of Peterborough Court, which little more than eighteen years ago was started with good advertisements to the extent of seven shillings and sixpence. The Telegraph proprietors do not, however, get all the profit out of the advertisements, for in its early and struggling days they were glad, naturally, to close with advertisement agents, who agreed to take so many columns a day at the then trade[16] price, and who now have a vast deal the best of the bargain. To such lucky accidents, which occur often in the newspaper world, are due the happy positions of some men, who live upon the profits accruing from their columns, and ride in neat broughams, oblivious of the days when they went canvassing afoot, and have almost brought themselves to the belief that they are gentlemen, and always were such. This must be the only bitter drop in the cup of the otherwise happy possessors of the Telegraph, which is at once a mine of wealth to them, and an instrument by which they become quite a power in the state. They can, however, well afford the lucky advertisement-agents their profits, and, looking back, may rest satisfied that things are as they are.

In London, the Times and Telegraph take the majority of the advertising revenue. The Times, the leading newspaper of the time with its independent politics and impressive size, stands out above all others in terms of advertisements and other areas as well. An average issue of the Times has about 2,500 advertisements, counting all the spaces in between. It's reported that the ad department generates around £1,000 a day, or 8 shillings each. A December 1873 issue of the Daily Telegraph contains 1,444 ads (also counting the spaces), and it's estimated these could bring in around £500, as its rates are just slightly lower than those of the Times; the Telegraph compensates for its lower power and influence with a larger circulation. This is quite a shift for the publication from Peterborough Court, which, just over eighteen years ago, started with good ads amounting to only seven shillings and sixpence. However, the Telegraph owners don’t keep all the ad profits; in its early and struggling days, they were eager to work with advertisement agents who agreed to take a set number of columns each day at the then-current market rate, and now those agents are getting the better end of the deal. Such fortunate occurrences, common in the newspaper industry, have led to some individuals profiting from their columns, riding in stylish broughams, and almost convincing themselves that they've always been gentlemen. This might be the only bitter note for the otherwise fortunate owners of the Telegraph, which serves as a significant source of wealth for them and a means by which they gain considerable influence in the state. Nevertheless, they can well afford to let the lucky advertisement agents keep their profits, and looking back, they may feel satisfied with how things have turned out.

But there are many daily papers in London besides the Times and Telegraph, and all these receive a plentiful share of advertisements. The Standard has, within the past few years, developed its resources wonderfully, and may be now considered a good fair third in the race for wealth, and not by any means a distant third, so far as the Telegraph is concerned. This paper has a most extensive circulation, being the only cheap Conservative organ in London, if we may except the Hour, and as it offers to advertisers a repetition of their notices in the Evening Standard, it is not surprising that, spacious as are its advertisement columns, it manages to fill them constantly, and at a rate which would have considerably astonished its old proprietors. The Daily News, which a few years back reduced its price to one penny, has, since the Franco-Prussian war, been picking up wonderfully, and with its increased health as a paper its outer columns have proportionally improved in appearance; many experienced advertisers have a great regard for the News, which they look upon as offering a good return for investments. The Morning Advertiser, as the organ of the licensed victuallers, is of course an invaluable medium of inter-communication among members of “the trade,” and in it are to be found advertisements of[17] everything to be obtained in connection with the distillery, the brewery, and the tavern. Publicans who want potboys, and potboys who want employers, barmaids, barmen, and people in want of “snug” businesses, or with “good family trades” to dispose of, all consult the ’Tiser, which is under the special supervision of a committee of licensed victuallers, who act as stewards, and annually hand over the profits to the Licensed Victuallers’ School. An important body is this committee, a body which feels that the eye of Europe is upon it, and which therefore takes copious notes of everything; is broad wideawake, and is not to be imposed on. But it is a kindly and beneficent body, as its purpose shows; and a little licence can well be afforded to a committee which gives its time and trouble, to say nothing of voting its money, in the interest of the widow and the fatherless. A few years back great fun used to be got out of the ’Tiser, or the “Gin and Gospel Gazette,” as it was called, on account of its peculiar views on current questions; but all that is altered now, and since the advent of the present régime the Advertiser has improved sufficiently to be regarded as a general paper, and therefore as a general advertising medium. The Hour is a new journal, started in opposition to the Standard, and professing the same politics. It is hardly within our ken so far, and the same may be said of the Morning Post, which has its own exclusive clientèle. In referring to the foregoing journals, we have made no remarks beyond those to which we are guided by their own published statements, and we have intended nothing invidious in the order of selection. For obvious reasons we shall say nothing of the evening papers, beyond that all seem to fill their advertisement columns with ease, and to be excellent mediums of publicity.

But there are many daily newspapers in London besides the Times and Telegraph, and all of them receive a lot of advertisements. The Standard has significantly improved its resources in recent years and can now be considered a solid third in the competition for wealth, especially in relation to the Telegraph. This paper has a very large circulation, being the only affordable Conservative newspaper in London, except for the Hour, and since it offers advertisers a repeat of their ads in the Evening Standard, it’s not surprising that, despite having spacious advertisement columns, it constantly fills them at a rate that would have greatly surprised its former owners. The Daily News, which dropped its price to one penny a few years ago, has been doing remarkably well since the Franco-Prussian War, and as the quality of the paper has improved, its outer columns have also become more attractive; many seasoned advertisers highly value the News, which they view as providing a good return on investment. The Morning Advertiser, as the voice of pub owners, is, of course, an invaluable platform for communication among those in "the trade," featuring ads for everything related to distilleries, breweries, and taverns. Bar owners looking for staff, and staff looking for jobs, bartenders, barmaids, and anyone wanting to sell “snug” businesses or “good family trades,” all turn to the ’Tiser, which is overseen by a committee of licensed pub owners who act as stewards and donate the profits to the Licensed Victuallers’ School. This committee is an important group that feels the scrutiny of Europe upon it, thus being very observant and not easily misled. However, it is also a kind and generous group, as its mission indicates; a little leeway can be granted to a committee that dedicates its time and effort—let alone its funds—towards helping widows and orphans. A few years ago, people used to find great amusement in the ’Tiser, nicknamed the “Gin and Gospel Gazette,” due to its unique perspectives on current issues; but that has all changed now, and since the new management took over, the Advertiser has improved enough to be seen as a general newspaper and a general advertising platform. The Hour is a new publication that has started in competition with the Standard while professing similar political views. It's not really within our scope yet, and the same goes for the Morning Post, which has its own exclusive audience. In mentioning the above publications, we have made no comments beyond what is guided by their own published statements, and there’s nothing negative intended in the order of selection. For obvious reasons, we will refrain from discussing the evening papers, except to note that they all seem to fill their advertisement columns effortlessly and serve as excellent platforms for publicity.

The weekly press and the provincial press can tell their own story without assistance. In the former the advertisements are fairly classed, according to the pretensions of the papers or the cause they adopt, while with the provincials[18] it is the story of the London dailies told over again. Manchester and Liverpool possess magnificent journals, full of advertisements and of large circulation, and so do all other large towns in the country; but we doubt much if, out of London, Glasgow is to be beaten on the score of its papers or the energy of its advertisers.

The weekly press and the local press can share their own story without help. In the former, the ads are fairly organized based on the status of the papers or the agenda they support, while in the latter, it’s just the stories from the London dailies retold. Manchester and Liverpool have great newspapers, packed with ads and with large readerships, just like all the other big cities in the country; however, we seriously doubt that outside of London, Glasgow can be surpassed in terms of its newspapers or the drive of its advertisers.


[1] This paper seems to have been an imposture, which, believed in at the time, has been comparatively recently detected. A writer in the Quarterly Review, June 1855, says, “The English Mercurie of 1588 [Qy. 1583], which professes to have been published during those momentous days when the Spanish Armada was hovering and waiting to pounce upon our southern shores, contains amongst its items of news three or four book advertisements, and these would undoubtedly have been the first put forth in England, were that newspaper genuine. Mr Watts, of the British Museum, has, however, proved that the several numbers of this journal to be found in our national library are gross forgeries; and, indeed, the most inexperienced eye in such matters can easily see that neither their type, paper, spelling, nor composition are much more than one instead of upwards of two centuries and a half old.” Haydn also says, “Some copies of a publication are in existence called the English Mercury, professing to come out under the authority of Queen Elizabeth in 1588, the period of the Spanish Armada. The researches of Mr J. Watts, of the British Museum, have proved these to be forgeries, executed about 1766. The full title of No. 50 is ‘The English Mercurie, published by authoritie, for the prevention of false reports, imprinted by Christopher Barker, Her Highnesses printer, No. 50.’ It describes the Spanish Armada, giving ‘A journal of what passed since the 21st of this month, between Her Majestie’s fleet and that of Spayne, transmitted by the Lord Highe Admiral to the Lordes of Council.’”

[1] This paper appears to have been a fake, which, although believed at the time, has recently been exposed. A writer in the Quarterly Review, June 1855, states, “The English Mercurie of 1588 [maybe 1583], which claims to have been published during those crucial days when the Spanish Armada was looming and ready to attack our southern shores, contains among its news items three or four book ads, and these would undoubtedly have been the first published in England had that newspaper been genuine. Mr. Watts from the British Museum has demonstrated that the various issues of this journal found in our national library are blatant forgeries; in fact, even the most inexperienced person in this field can easily see that neither their type, paper, spelling, nor layout is more than a century and a half old, instead of over two and a half centuries.” Haydn also mentions, “Some copies of a publication exist that are called the English Mercury, claiming to have been released under Queen Elizabeth’s authority in 1588, during the time of the Spanish Armada. The research of Mr. J. Watts of the British Museum has confirmed these as forgeries created around 1766. The full title of No. 50 is ‘The English Mercurie, published by authority, to prevent false reports, printed by Christopher Barker, Her Highness’s printer, No. 50.’ It describes the Spanish Armada, providing ‘A journal of what happened since the 21st of this month, between Her Majesty’s fleet and that of Spain, sent by the Lord High Admiral to the Lords of Council.’”

[2] The Quarterly mentions a paper which appeared late in the reign of James I.: “The Weekly News, published in London in 1622, was the first publication which answered to this description; it contained, however, only a few scraps of foreign intelligence, and was quite destitute of advertisements.” And then, as if to prove what has been already stated by the Encyclopædia Britannica, the writer goes on to say, “The terrible contest of the succeeding reign was the hotbed which forced the press of this country into sudden life and extraordinary vigour.”

[2] The Quarterly mentions a paper that came out late in the reign of James I.: “The Weekly News, published in London in 1622, was the first publication to fit this description; it included only a few bits of foreign news and had no advertisements.” Then, to support what has already been said by the Encyclopædia Britannica, the writer adds, “The brutal conflict of the following reign was what drove the press in this country into a burst of energy and activity.”

[3] In 1830 America (U.S.), whose population was 23,500,000, supported 800 newspapers, 50 of these being daily; and the conjoined annual circulation was 64,000,000. Fifteen years later these figures were considerably increased—nearly doubled; but since the development of the Pacific States it has been almost impossible to tell the number of papers which have sprung into existence, every mining camp and every village being possessed of its organ, some of which have died, and some of which are still flourishing. A professed and apparently competent critic assures us that there are quite 3000 newspapers now in the States, and that at least a tithe of them are dailies.

[3] In 1830, America (U.S.), with a population of 23,500,000, had 800 newspapers, 50 of which were daily; and the total annual circulation was 64,000,000. Fifteen years later, these numbers had significantly increased—almost doubled. However, since the growth of the Pacific States, it's been nearly impossible to track the number of new papers that have emerged, with every mining camp and village having its own publication, some of which have ceased to exist, while others are still thriving. A self-proclaimed and seemingly knowledgeable critic claims that there are about 3,000 newspapers currently in the States, and at least a tenth of them are dailies.


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[19]

CHAPTER 2.
Intro to Street and General Advertising.

It seems indeed singular that we are obliged to regard advertising as a comparatively modern institution; for, as will be shown in the progress of this work, the first advertisement which can be depended upon as being what it appears to be was, so far as can be discovered, published not much more than two hundred years ago. But though we cannot find any instances of business notices appearing in papers before the middle of the seventeenth century, mainly because there were not, so far as our knowledge goes, papers in which to advertise, there is little doubt that the desire among tradesmen and merchants to make good their wares has had an existence almost as long as the customs of buying and selling, and it is but natural to suppose that advertisements in some shape or form have existed not only from time immemorial, but almost for all time. Signs over shops and stalls seem naturally to have been the first efforts in the direction of advertisements, and they go back to the remotest portions of the world’s history. Public notices also were posted about in the first days of the children of Israel, the utterances of the kings and prophets being inscribed on parchments and exposed in the high places of the cities. It was also customary, early in the Christian era, for a scroll to be exhibited when any of the Passion or other sacred plays were about to be performed, and comparatively recently we have received positive intelligence that in Pompeii and similar places[20] advertising by means of signs and inscriptions was quite common. The “History of Signboards,” a very exhaustive and valuable book, quotes Aristotle, and refers to Lucian, Aristophanes, and others, in proof of the fact that signboard advertisements were used in ancient Greece, but the information is extremely vague. Of the Romans, however, more is known. Some streets were with them known by means of signs. The book referred to tells us that the bush, the Romans’ tavern sign, gave rise to the proverb, “Vino vendibili suspensa hedera non opus est;” and hence we derive our own sign of the bush, and our proverb, “Good wine needs no bush.” An ansa or handle of a pitcher was then the sign of a pothouse, and hence establishments of this kind were afterwards denominated ansæ.

It really seems strange that we have to see advertising as a relatively modern practice. As we'll explore in this work, the first reliable advertisement that truly resembles what we know today was published just over two hundred years ago. However, while we can't find any examples of business announcements in newspapers before the mid-seventeenth century—primarily because there were no newspapers available—it's clear that merchants and tradespeople have always wanted to promote their goods, almost since the beginning of buying and selling. It's easy to assume that advertisements, in one form or another, have existed not just for a long time, but almost throughout history. Shop signs were probably the earliest form of advertisement, stretching back to the earliest days of history. Public announcements were also made during the initial days of the children of Israel, with proclamations from kings and prophets written on scrolls and displayed in prominent city areas. In the early Christian era, it was common to exhibit a scroll before any Passion or other religious plays were performed, and more recently, we've learned that in places like Pompeii, advertising using signs and inscriptions was quite widespread. The book “History of Signboards,” which is very detailed and valuable, cites Aristotle and references Lucian, Aristophanes, and others to support the idea that signboard advertisements were present in ancient Greece, but the details are quite vague. However, we know more about the Romans. Some streets were identified by their signs. The book tells us that the bush, which was the sign of a Roman tavern, led to the saying, “Vino vendibili suspensa hedera non opus est;” and from this, we get our own bush sign and the saying, “Good wine needs no bush.” An ansa or handle of a pitcher was used as a sign for an inn, which is why such establishments were later called ansæ.

A correspondent writing to Notes and Queries, in answer to a question in reference to early advertising, says that the mode adopted by the Hebrews appears to have been chiefly by word of mouth, not by writing. Hence the Hebrew word kara signifies to cry aloud, and to announce or make known publicly (κηρύσσειν); and the announcement or proclamation, as a matter of course, was usually made in the streets and chief places of concourse. The matters thus proclaimed were chiefly of a sacred kind, as might be expected under a theocracy; and we have no evidence that secular affairs were made the subject of similar announcements. In one instance, indeed (Isa. xiii. 3), kara has been supposed to signify the calling out of troops; but this may be doubted. The Greeks came a step nearer to our idea of advertising, for they made their public announcements by writing as well as orally. For announcement by word of mouth they had their κήρυξ, who, with various offices besides, combined that of public crier. His duties as crier appear to have been restricted, with few exceptions, to state announcements and to great occasions. He gave notice, however, of sales. For the publication of their laws the Greeks employed various kinds of tablets,[21] πίνακες, ἄξονες, κύρβεις. On these the laws were written, to be displayed for public inspection. The Romans largely advertised private as well as public matters, and by writing as well as by word of mouth. They had their præcones, or criers, who not only had their public duties, but announced the times, places, and conditions of sales, and cried things lost. Hawkers cried their own goods. Thus Cicero speaks of one who cried figs, Cauneas clamitabat (De Divin. ii. 40). But the Romans also advertised, in a stricter sense of the term, by writing. The bills were called libelli, and were used for advertising sales of estates, for absconded debtors, and for things lost or found. The advertisements were often written on tablets (tabellæ), which were affixed to pillars (pilæ columnæ). On the walls of Pompeii have been discovered various advertisements. There will be a dedication or formal opening of certain baths. The company attending are promised slaughter of wild beasts, athletic games, perfumed sprinkling, and awnings to keep off the sun (venatia, athletæ, sparsiones, vela).[4] One other mode of public announcement employed by the Romans should be mentioned, and that was by signs suspended or painted on the wall. Thus a suspended shield served as the sign of a tavern (Quintil. vi. 3), and nuisances were prohibited by the painting of two sacred serpents. Among the French, advertising appears to have become very general towards the close of the sixteenth century. In particular, placards attacking private character had, in consequence of the religious wars, become so numerous and outrageous, that subsequently, in 1652, the Government found it necessary to interpose for their repression.[5]

A writer responding to Notes and Queries about early advertising notes that the method used by the Hebrews seemed to be mainly verbal rather than written. This is reflected in the Hebrew word kara, which means to shout loudly or make something known publicly (κηρύσσειν). Such announcements were typically made in the streets and busy places. The topics of these proclamations were mostly religious, as one would expect in a theocratic society, and there is no indication that secular matters were similarly announced. In one case (Isa. xiii. 3), kara may imply calling out troops, though this is debatable. The Greeks were a bit closer to our understanding of advertising, as they made public announcements both verbally and in writing. For oral announcements, they employed a κήρυξ, who had various roles, including that of a public crier. His job as a crier was generally limited to official announcements and major events, although he did notify people about sales. The Greeks used different types of tablets,[21]πίνακες, ἄξονες, κύρβεις, to publish their laws, displaying them for public viewing. The Romans extensively advertised both private and public matters, using both verbal and written methods. They had præcones, or criers, who announced public duties as well as details about sales and lost items. Street vendors also promoted their own goods. Cicero mentions one vendor who shouted about figs, Cauneas clamitabat (De Divin. ii. 40). However, the Romans also advertised more formally in writing. Their advertisements were called libelli, which were used for promoting estate sales, missing debtors, and lost or found items. These ads were often written on tablets (tabellæ) and posted on pillars (pilæ columnæ). Various ads have been discovered on the walls of Pompeii, announcing events like the dedication of certain baths, promising attendees wild beast hunts, athletic contests, scented sprinkling, and sunshade awnings (venatia, athletæ, sparsiones, vela).[4] Another method of public announcement used by the Romans included signs hung or painted on walls, such as a shield indicating a tavern (Quintil. vi. 3), and paintings of two sacred serpents to declare that nuisances were forbidden. In France, advertising became quite widespread by the end of the sixteenth century. In particular, placards damaging private reputations proliferated so much due to the religious wars that the Government found it necessary to intervene for their repression.[5]

Speaking of the signs of Herculaneum and Pompeii, the[22] “History of Signboards” says that a few were painted, but, as a rule, they appear to have been made of stone, or terra cotta relievo, and set into the pilasters at the sides of the open shop fronts. Thus there have been found a goat, the sign of a dairy, and a mule driving a mill, the sign of a baker. At the door of a school was the highly suggestive and not particularly pleasant sign to pupils of a boy being birched. Like to our own signs of two brewers carrying a tun slung on a pole, a Pompeian publican had two slaves represented above his door carrying an amphora, and another dispenser of drink had a painting of Bacchus pressing a bunch of grapes. At a perfumer’s shop in the street of Mercury were represented various items of that profession, notably four men carrying a box with vases of perfume, and men laying out and perfuming a corpse. There was also a sign of the Two Gladiators, under which, in the usual Pompeian cacography, was the following:—“Abiam venerem Pompeiianama iradam qui hoc læserit.” Besides these were the signs of the Anchor, the Ship (possibly a ship-chandler’s), a sort of a Cross, the Chequers, the Phallus on a baker’s shop, with the words, “Hic habitat felicitas;” whilst in Herculaneum there was a very cleverly painted Amorino, or Cupid, carrying a pair of lady’s shoes, one on his head and the other in his hand. It is also probable that the various artificers of Rome used their tools as signs over their workshops and residences, as it is found that they were sculptured on their tombs in the catacombs. On the tombstone of Diogenes, the grave-digger, there is a pickaxe and a lamp; Banto and Maxima have the tools of carpenters, a saw, an adze, and a chisel; Veneria, a tire-woman, has a mirror and a comb. There are others with wool-combers’ implements; a physician has a cupping-glass; a poulterer, a case of fowls; a surveyor, a measuring rule; a baker, a bushel measure, a millstone, and some ears of corn; and other signs are numerous on the graves of the departed. Even the modern custom of punning on the name, so common on signboards, finds its precedent on these stones. The grave of Dracontius was embellished with a dragon, that of Onager with a wild ass, and that of Umbricius with a shady tree. Leo’s grave received a lion; Doleus, father and son, two casks; Herbacia, two baskets of herbs; and Porcula, a pig. It requires, therefore, but the least possible imagination to see that all these symbols and advertisements were by no means confined to the use of the dead, but were extensively used in the interests of the living.

Speaking of the signs in Herculaneum and Pompeii, the[22] “History of Signboards” states that while a few were painted, most seemed to be made of stone or terra cotta reliefs, set into the pillars on either side of the open shop fronts. Among these, a goat represented a dairy, and a mule grinding flour stood for a bakery. At a school’s entrance was a rather unpleasant sign for students showing a boy getting whipped. Similar to our own signs of two brewers carrying a barrel on a pole, a Pompeian tavern owner depicted two slaves above his door carrying a large jar, while another bar had a painting of Bacchus holding a bunch of grapes. At a perfumer's shop on the street of Mercury, various items of that trade were illustrated, especially four men carrying a box filled with perfume vases, along with men preparing and scenting a corpse. There was also a sign featuring Two Gladiators, with a typical Pompeian misspelling that read: “Abiam venerem Pompeiianama iradam qui hoc læserit.” Additionally, there were signs depicting an Anchor, a Ship (likely a ship supply store), a type of Cross, the Chequers, and a Phallus on a bakery with the words, “Hic habitat felicitas;” meanwhile, in Herculaneum, there was a skillfully painted Cupid carrying a pair of women’s shoes—one on his head and the other in his hand. It’s also likely that various craftsmen in Rome used their tools as signs above their shops and homes, as they were often carved on their tombs in the catacombs. Diogenes the gravedigger's tomb features a pickaxe and a lamp; Banto and Maxima have carpentry tools like a saw, an adze, and a chisel; Veneria, a hairdresser, shows a mirror and a comb. Other graves display tools of wool combers, a physician with a cupping glass, a poulterer with a case of birds, a surveyor with a measuring stick, a baker with a bushel measure, a millstone, and some ears of corn; there are numerous other signs on the graves of the deceased. Even the modern practice of wordplay on names, commonly seen on signboards, can be traced back to these stones. Dracontius's grave featured a dragon, Onager's had a wild donkey, and Umbricius’s displayed a shady tree. Leo's grave had a lion; Doleus, father and son, showed two barrels; Herbacia had two baskets of herbs; and Porcula featured a pig. Therefore, it requires minimal imagination to see that all these symbols and advertisements were not just for the deceased, but were widely used for the living as well.

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Signor Raphael Garrucci, to whom we are indebted for these Plates, in commenting upon Group 5 (LX., IIII., IIII., VII., ZV., Ε., ΓΑ., III., S., CIA.), says, “I will now give my opinion upon this strange combination of Greek and Roman signs—it seems to me a custom introduced even at Rome since the epoch of Augustus, to mingle the Greek numeral elements with Latin signs.”

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Mr. Raphael Garrucci, to whom we owe these Plates, comments on Group 5 (LX., IIII., IIII., VII., ZV., Ε., ΓΑ., III., S., CIA.), saying, “Now, I’d like to share my thoughts on this unusual mix of Greek and Roman symbols—it appears to me that this practice was brought to Rome around the time of Augustus, blending Greek numeral elements with Latin signs.”

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Street advertising, in its most original form among us, was therefore without doubt derived from the Romans; and this system gradually grew, until, in the Middle Ages, there was hardly a house of business without its distinctive sign or advertisement; which was the more necessary, as in those days numbers to houses were unknown. “In the Middle Ages the houses of the nobility, both in town and country, when the family was absent, were used as hostelries for travellers. The family arms always hung in front of the house, and the most conspicuous object in those arms gave a name to the establishment amongst travellers, who, unacquainted with the mysteries of heraldry, called a lion gules or azure by the vernacular name of the Red or Blue Lion. Such coats of arms gradually became a very popular intimation that there was—

Street advertising, in its earliest form among us, definitely came from the Romans; and this system gradually evolved until, by the Middle Ages, almost every business had its unique sign or advertisement, which was essential since houses didn’t have numbers back then. “In the Middle Ages, the homes of the nobility, both in towns and the countryside, were often used as inns for travelers when the family was away. The family crest always hung in front of the house, and the most noticeable feature in those arms gave a name to the establishment among travelers, who, not knowing the complexities of heraldry, referred to a lion gules or azure simply as the Red or Blue Lion. Over time, these coats of arms became a well-known indication that there was—

Good entertainment for everyone that comes by—
Horses, mares, men, and donkeys.

And innkeepers began to adopt them, hanging out red lions and green dragons as the best way to acquaint the public that they offered food and shelter. Still, as long as civilisation was only at a low ebb, the so-called open houses few, and competition trifling, signs were of but little use. A few objects, typical of the trade carried on, would suffice; a knife for the cutler, a stocking for the hosier, a hand for the glover, a pair of scissors for the tailor, a bunch of grapes for the vintner, fully answered public requirements.[24] But as luxury increased, and the number of houses or shops dealing in the same article multiplied, something more was wanted. Particular trades continued to be confined to particular streets; the desideratum then was to give to each shop a name or token by which it might be mentioned in conversation, so that it could be recommended and customers sent to it. Reading was still a scarce acquirement, consequently to write up the owner’s name would have been of little use. Those that could advertised their name by a rebus—thus, a hare and a bottle stood for Harebottle, and two cocks for Cox. Others, whose names could represent, adopted pictorial objects; and as the quantity of these augmented, new subjects were continually required. The animal kingdom was ransacked, from the mighty elephant to the humble bee, from the eagle to the sparrow; the vegetable kingdom, from the palm-tree and cedar to the marigold and daisy; everything on the earth and in the firmament above it was put under contribution. Portraits of the great men of all ages, and views of towns, both painted with a great deal more of fancy than of truth; articles of dress, implements of trades, domestic utensils, things visible and invisible, ‘Ea quæ sunt tanquam ea quæ non sunt,’ everything was attempted in order to attract attention and to obtain publicity. Finally, as all signs in a town were painted by the same small number of individuals, whose talents and imagination were limited, it followed that the same subjects were often repeated, introducing only a change in the colour for a difference.”[6]

Innkeepers started using signs, putting up red lions and green dragons to show that they provided food and shelter. However, when civilization was still developing slowly, the limited number of open houses and little competition made signs mostly unnecessary. A few items typical to each trade were enough; a knife for a cutler, a stocking for a hosier, a hand for a glover, a pair of scissors for a tailor, and a bunch of grapes for a vintner were sufficient to meet public needs. As luxury grew and the number of shops selling the same things increased, more was needed. Specific trades began to cluster in certain streets, so the goal became giving each shop a unique name or symbol for easy mention in conversation, allowing for recommendations and customers to be directed there. Since reading was still uncommon, simply writing the owner's name wouldn’t help much. Those who could, used rebuses to advertise—like a hare and a bottle for Harebottle, and two cocks for Cox. Others used representative images, and as the variety of these grew, new subjects were regularly needed. They explored the animal kingdom, from the mighty elephant to the tiny bee, from the eagle to the sparrow; the plant kingdom, from palm trees and cedars to marigolds and daisies; everything on earth and in the sky was used as inspiration. Portraits of famous people throughout history, and artistic views of towns, often painted with more creativity than accuracy; clothes, tools, household items, both visible and invisible, ‘Ea quæ sunt tanquam ea quæ non sunt,’ everything was tried to catch attention and gain publicity. Eventually, since signs in a town were painted by the same small group of people with limited skill and creativity, the same subjects were frequently reused, changing only the colors for variety.

From the foregoing can be traced the gradual growth of street advertising until it has reached its present extensive pitch; and though the process may be characterised as slow, no one who looks around at the well-covered hoardings and the be-plastered signs on detached and prominent [25]houses can doubt that it is sure. Proclamations, and suchlike official announcements, were probably the first specimens of street advertising, as we now understand the term; but it was not until printing became general, and until the people became conversant with the mysteries of reading and writing, that posters and handbills were to any extent used. Mention is made in 1679 of a tradesman named Jonathan Holder, haberdasher, of the city of London, who gave to every purchaser to the extent of a guinea a printed list of the articles kept in stock by him, with the prices affixed. The paper in which this item of news was recorded seems to have regarded Mr Holder’s practice as a dangerous innovation, and remarks that it would be quite destructive to trade if shopkeepers lavished so much of their capital in printing useless bills. This utterance now seems ridiculous; but in the course of another two centuries many orthodox opinions of the present day will receive as complete a downfall as that just recorded.

From the above, we can see the gradual rise of street advertising until it has reached its current extensive level; and although this growth might be seen as slow, anyone who looks around at the well-covered billboards and the plastered signs on standalone and prominent houses can’t deny that it is happening for sure. Official announcements, like proclamations, were probably the first examples of street advertising as we understand it today; but it wasn't until printing became common and people learned to read and write that posters and flyers saw significant use. In 1679, there’s a mention of a tradesman named Jonathan Holder, a haberdasher in London, who gave every customer who spent up to a guinea a printed list of his stock along with the prices. The publication that reported this news seemed to view Mr. Holder’s practice as a risky innovation, stating that it could be quite harmful to business if shopkeepers spent so much of their capital on printing useless bills. This statement seems laughable now; but in another two centuries, many widely accepted views of today will meet a similar fate as that one.

Within the recollections of men who are still young street advertising has considerably changed. Twenty years ago the billsticker was a nuisance of the most intolerable kind, and though we can hardly now consider him a blessing, his habits have changed very much for the better. Never heeding the constant announcement to him to beware, the billsticker cared nothing for the privacy of dead walls, or, for the matter of that, of dwelling-houses and street doors; and though he was hardly ever himself to be seen, his disfigurative work was a prominent feature of the metropolis. It was also considered by him a point of honour—if the term may be used in connection with billstickers—to paste over the work of a rival; and so the hoardings used to present the most heterogeneous possible appearance, and though bills were plentiful, their intelligibility was of a very limited description. Sunday morning early used to be a busy time with the wandering billsticker. Provided with a light cart and an assistant, he would make a raid on[26] a whole district, sticking his notices and disappearing with marvellous rapidity. And how he would chuckle as he drove away, more especially if, in addition to disfiguring a private wall, he had succeeded in covering over the handiwork of a rival! For this reason the artful billsticker used to select a time when it was still early enough to evade detection, and yet late enough to deface the work of those who had gone before him. Billsticking was thus an art attended with some difficulties; and it was not until the advent of contractors, like Willing, Partington, and others, that any positive publicity could be depended upon in connection with posting.

In the memories of young men today, street advertising has changed quite a bit. Twenty years ago, billstickers were an unbearable hassle, and while we wouldn’t necessarily call them a blessing now, their behavior has definitely improved. Ignoring constant warnings to be cautious, the billsticker had no regard for the privacy of blank walls or residential doors; even though he was rarely seen, his disruptive work was a noticeable part of the cityscape. He also took it as a point of pride—if you can use such a term for billstickers—to cover up a rival's work; as a result, the billboards had a confusing and chaotic look, and even though there were plenty of ads, they were often hard to understand. Early Sunday mornings used to be busy for the roaming billsticker. Armed with a light cart and a helper, he would sweep through an entire area, putting up his ads and vanishing quickly. He would laugh as he drove off, especially if he managed to deface a private wall while covering up a rival's work! Because of this, the clever billsticker would pick a time that was early enough to avoid being caught but late enough to ruin the work of others before him. Billsticking was thus an art with its challenges; it wasn’t until contractors like Willing, Partington, and others came along that any reliable publicity could be expected in relation to posting.

Yet, in the days of which we have just been speaking, the man of paste considered himself a very important personage; and it is not so very long since one individual published himself under the style and title of “Champion Billposter,” and as such defied all comers. It was for some time doubtful whether his claims depended upon his ability to beat and thrash all rivals at fisticuffs, whether he was able to stick more bills in a given time than any other man, or whether he had a larger and more important connection than usually fell to the poster’s lot; in fact, the question has never been settled, for exception having been taken to his assumption of the title of champion from any point of view, and reference having been made to the editors of sporting papers, the ambitious one gracefully withdrew his pretensions, and the matter subsided. A generation ago one of the most popular songs of the day commenced something like this—

Yet, in the days we've just been talking about, the man of paste saw himself as a very important figure; and it wasn't that long ago that someone called himself the “Champion Billposter,” challenging anyone who dared to contest him. For a while, it was unclear whether his claims were based on his ability to beat all rivals in a fight, if he could stick up more posters in a set amount of time than anyone else, or if he had a bigger and more significant network than typically came with being a billposter; in fact, the question was never resolved, as objections were raised about his self-proclaimed champion title from every angle, and after the editors of sporting papers were consulted, this ambitious individual gracefully stepped back from his claims, and the issue faded away. A generation ago, one of the most popular songs of the day started something like this—

"I'm Sammy Slap, the billsticker, and you all have to agree, gentlemen,
I stick to business like a pro while business sticks to me, gentlemen.
Some people call me a plasterer, but they deserve a punch,
You see, to put it politely, my job is hanging wallpaper.
With my copy, copy, copy!
The whole world is bustling,
So I'll copy, copy, copy!”

AN OLD BILL-STATION.

AN OLD TRAIN STATION.

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[27]

The advent of advertisement contractors, who purchased the right, exclusive and absolute, to stick bills on a hoarding, considerably narrowed the avocations of what might almost have been called the predatory billsticker. For a long time the fight was fierce and often; as soon as an “advertisement station” had been finished off, its bills and announcements being all regulated with mathematical precision, a cloud of skirmishers, armed to the teeth with bills, pots, and brushes, would convert, in a few minutes, the orderly arrangements of the contractor to a perfect chaos. But time, which rights all things, aided in the present instance by a few magisterial decisions, and by an unlooked-for and unaccountable alacrity on the part of the police, set these matters straight; and now it is hard to find an enclosure in London the hoarding of which is not notified as being the “advertisement station” of some contractor or other who would blush to be called billsticker. In the suburbs the flying brigade is still to be found hard at work, but daily its campaigning ground becomes more limited, and gradually these Bashi-Bazouks of billsticking are becoming absorbed into the regular ranks of the agents’ standing corps.

The rise of advertising companies that bought the exclusive rights to post ads on billboards significantly reduced the job opportunities for what could almost be called the aggressive billsticker. For a long time, the competition was intense and frequent; as soon as an “advertisement station” was set up, with its ads and announcements neatly organized, a swarm of billstickers, armed to the teeth with posters, paste, and brushes, would turn the contractor's neat setup into total chaos in just a few minutes. But time, which tends to fix everything, along with a few legal rulings and an unexpectedly prompt response from the police, helped sort things out; now it’s hard to find a spot in London where the billboard isn't labeled as the “advertisement station” of some contractor who would be embarrassed to be called a billsticker. In the suburbs, the roaming crew is still busy at work, but each day their territory is getting smaller, and gradually these unruly billstickers are being absorbed into the regular ranks of the agents' standing teams.

Placard advertising, of an orderly, and even ornamental, character, has assumed extensive proportions at most of the metropolitan railway stations, the agents to whom we have just referred having extended their operations in the direction of blank spaces on the walls, which they sublet to the general advertising public. Often firms which advertise on an extensive scale themselves contract with the railway companies, and not a few have extended their announcements from the stations to the sides of the line, little enamelled plates being used for this purpose. Any one having a vacant space at the side of his house, or a blank wall to the same, may, provided he live in anything like a business thoroughfare, and that the vantage place is free from obstruction, do advantageous business with an[28] advertisement contractor; and, as matters are progressing, we may some day expect to see not only the private walls of the houses in Belgrave Square and suchlike fashionable localities well papered, but the outsides and insides of our public buildings utilised as well by the hand of the advertiser. One thing is certain, no one could say that many of the latter would be spoiled, no matter what the innovation to which they were subjected.

Advertising on placards, which is organized and even decorative, has become quite common at most metropolitan railway stations. The agents we've just mentioned have expanded their operations to include blank wall spaces, which they rent out to the general advertising public. Often, companies that advertise on a large scale will contract with the railway companies, and many have also extended their ads from the stations to the sides of the tracks, using small enamel plates for this purpose. Anyone with an empty space on the side of their house or a blank wall, as long as they’re in a busy area and the spot is unobstructed, can easily make a good deal with an advertising contractor. As things continue to evolve, we might eventually see not just the private walls of homes in Belgrave Square and other upscale areas covered with ads, but also the exteriors and interiors of our public buildings utilized by advertisers. One thing is clear: no one could claim that many of these buildings would be ruined, regardless of what kind of advertising they might feature.

The most recent novelty in advertising has been the introduction of a cabinet, surmounted by a clock face, into public-house bars and luncheon rooms. These cabinets are divided into spaces of say a superficial foot each, which are to be let off at a set price. So far as we have yet seen, these squares have been filled for the most part with the promoters’ advertisements only; and it is admitted by all who know most about advertising that the very worst sign one can have as to the success of a medium is that of an advertisement emanating from the promoters or proprietors of anything in which such advertisement appears. Why this should be we are not prepared to say. We are more able to show why it should not be; for no man, advertisement contractor or otherwise, should, under fair commercial conditions, ask another to do what he would not do himself. So we are satisfied to rest content with the knowledge that what we have stated is fact, however incongruous it may seem, which any one can endorse by applying himself to the ethics of advertising. Certainly, in the instance quoted, the matter looks very suggestive; perhaps it depends on the paradox, that he who is most anxious that others should advertise is least inclined to do so himself.

The newest trend in advertising is the introduction of a cabinet topped with a clock face in bars and lunchrooms. These cabinets are divided into sections, about a superficial foot each, that are available for rent at a fixed price. So far, these sections have mostly been filled with the advertisers’ own ads, and everyone who knows about advertising agrees that the worst sign of a medium's success is having ads come from the promoters or owners of whatever is being advertised. We can't explain why this is the case. However, we can argue why it shouldn't be; no one, whether an ad contractor or not, should ask someone else to do something that they wouldn't do themselves, given fair business conditions. Thus, we are content to acknowledge that what we've stated is true, no matter how strange it may appear, and anyone can confirm this by considering the ethics of advertising. In the example mentioned, the situation appears quite telling; it may reflect the paradox that the person most eager for others to advertise is often the least willing to do so themselves.

Not long ago the promoters of a patent umbrella, which seems to have gone the mysterious way of all umbrellas, patent or otherwise, and to have disappeared, availed themselves of a great boat-race to attract public attention to their wares. Skiffs fitted with sails, on each of which were painted the patent parapluie, and a recommendation to buy[29] it, dotted the river, and continually evaded the efforts of the Conservancy Police, who were endeavouring to marshal all the small craft together, so as to leave a clear course for the competitors. Every time one of these advertising boats broke out into mid-stream, carrying its eternal umbrella between the dense lines of spectators, the advertisement was extremely valuable, for straying boats of any kind are on such occasions very noticeable, and these were of course much more so. Still it would seem from the sequel that this bold innovation had been better applied to something more likely to hit the public taste; for whether it was that people, knowing how fleeting a joy is a good umbrella, were determined not to put temptation in the way of their friends, or whether the experiment absorbed all the spare capital of the inventor and patentees, we know not; but this we do know, that since the time of which we speak little or nothing has been heard of the novel “gingham.”

Not too long ago, the promoters of a patented umbrella, which seems to have mysteriously vanished like all umbrellas, patent or not, used a big boat race to grab public attention for their product. Skiffs equipped with sails, each boasting the patented umbrella and a suggestion to buy it, dotted the river and constantly dodged the efforts of the Conservancy Police, who were trying to group all the small boats together for a clear path for the competitors. Each time one of these advertising boats drifted into mid-stream, flaunting its eternal umbrella among the crowd of spectators, it was a highly valuable advertisement, as stray boats are very noticeable during such events, and these certainly stood out more. However, it seems from what followed that this bold idea would have been better suited for something that appealed more to the public; whether it was that people, knowing how fleeting the joy of a good umbrella is, chose not to tempt their friends, or whether the experiment consumed all the inventor's and patent holders' spare cash, we can't say for sure. But what we do know is that since the time we're talking about, not much has been heard about the new “gingham.”

Another innovation in the way of advertisements was that, common a few years back, of stencilling the flagstones. At first this system assumed very small proportions, a parallelogram, looking like an envelope with a black border that had been dropped, and containing the address of the advertiser, being the object of the artist entrusted with the mission. Gradually, however, the inscriptions grew, until they became a perfect nuisance, and were put down—if the term applies to anything on such a low level—by the intervention of the police and the magistrates. The undertakers were the greatest sinners in this respect, the invitations to be buried being most numerous and varied. These “black workers” or “death-hunters,” as they are often called, are in London most persistent advertisers. They can hardly think that people will die to oblige them and do good for trade, yet in some districts they will, with the most undeviating persistency, drop their little books, informing you how, when, where, and at what rates you may be buried with economy or despatch, or both, as the case may be,[30] down your area, or poke them under your door, or into the letter-box. More, it is stated on good authority, than one pushing contractor, living in a poor neighbourhood, obtains a list of all the folk attended by the parish doctor, and at each of the houses leaves his little pamphlet, let us hope with the desire of cheering and comforting the sick and ailing. To such a man Death must come indeed as a friend, so long, of course, as the grim king comes to the customers only.

Another innovation in advertising was the practice, common a few years ago, of stenciling on the sidewalks. At first, this method was quite small, resembling a rectangle, like an envelope with a black border that had been dropped, containing the advertiser's address, which was the artist's mission. Gradually, however, the messages got larger until they became a complete nuisance, leading to intervention from the police and magistrates. The undertakers were the biggest offenders in this regard, as they had the most numerous and varied invitations for burial. These "black workers" or "death-hunters," as they are often called, are some of the most persistent advertisers in London. They can't really believe that people will die just to help their business, yet in some areas, they tirelessly drop off their little pamphlets, letting you know how, when, where, and at what rates you can be buried economically or quickly, or both, as needed, down your street, or slide them under your door, or into the mailbox. Moreover, it’s said on good authority that more than one aggressive contractor in a poor neighborhood gets a list of all the patients visited by the parish doctor and leaves their little brochures at each house, hopefully with the intention of comforting the sick and ailing. For such a person, Death must indeed come as a friend, as long, of course, as the grim king visits only the customers. [30]

A few years back, when hoardings were common property, the undertakers had a knack of posting their dismal little price-lists in the centre of great broadsheets likely to attract any unusual share of attention. They were not particular, however, and any vantage space, from a doorpost to a dead wall, came within their comprehension. Another ingenious, and, from its colour, somewhat suggestive, plan was about this time brought into requisition by an undertaker for the destruction of a successful rival’s advertisements. He armed one of his assistants with a great can of blacking and a brush, and instructed him to go by secret ways and deface the opposition placards. Of course the other man followed suit, and for a time an undertaker’s bill was known best by its illegibility. But ultimately these two men of colour met and fought with the instruments provided by their employers. They did not look lovely when charged before a magistrate next morning, and being bound over to keep the peace, departed to worry each other, or each other’s bills, no more. There is another small bill feature of advertising London which is so objectionable that we will pass it by with a simple thankful notice that its promoters are sometimes overtaken by tardy but ironhanded justice.

A few years ago, when billboards were everywhere, undertakers had a talent for putting up their gloomy little price lists in the middle of large posters that were likely to grab attention. They weren't picky, though, and any available spot, from a doorframe to a blank wall, was fair game. Around this time, one clever undertaker came up with a rather suggestive plan involving color to destroy a rival’s ads. He sent one of his assistants out with a big can of black paint and a brush, telling him to secretly go around and ruin the competitor's posters. Naturally, the other undertaker did the same, and for a while, an undertaker’s advertisement was best known for being unreadable. But eventually, these two men met and fought with the tools provided by their bosses. They didn’t look so great when brought before a magistrate the next morning, and after being ordered to keep the peace, they went their separate ways, no longer bothering each other or each other’s ads. There's another annoying aspect of advertising in London that we’ll skip over with a simple note of gratitude that sometimes its promoters face delayed but severe justice.

Most people can recollect the hideous glass pillars or “indicators” which, for advertising purposes, were stuck about London. The first one made its appearance at Hyde Park Corner, and though, in deference to public opinion, it[31] did not remain there very long, less aristocratic neighbourhoods had to bear their adornments until the complete failure of the attempt to obtain advertisements to fill the vacant spaces showed how fatuous was the project. The last of these posts, we remember, was opposite the Angel at Islington, and there, assisted by local faith and indolence, it remained until a short time back. But it too has gone now, and with it has almost faded the recollection of these hideous nightmares of advertising.

Most people can remember the ugly glass pillars or “indicators” that were plastered around London for advertising. The first one appeared at Hyde Park Corner, and although it didn’t stay there long due to public outcry, less affluent neighborhoods had to put up with them until the complete failure to attract advertisers to fill the empty spaces proved how misguided the project was. The last of these posts, if I recall correctly, was across from the Angel at Islington, and it stuck around for quite a while, propped up by local apathy and faith. But that one is gone now too, and with it, the memory of those ghastly advertising nightmares has nearly faded away.

The huge vans, plastered all over with bills, which used to traverse London, to the terror of the horses and wonder of the yokels, were improved off the face of the earth a quarter of a century ago; and now the only perambulating advertisement we have is the melancholy sandwich-man and the dispenser of handbills, gentlemen who sometimes “double their parts,” to use a theatrical expression. To a playhouse manager we owe the biggest thing in street and general advertising—that in connection with the “Dead Heart”—that has yet been recorded. Mr Smith, who had charge of this department of the Adelphi, has published a statement which gives the totals as follows:—10,000,000 adhesive labels (which, by the way, were an intolerable nuisance), 30,000 small cuts of the guillotine scene, 5000 reams of note-paper, 110,000 business envelopes, 60,000 stamped envelopes, 2000 six-sheet cuts of Bastile scene, 5,000,000 handbills, 1000 six-sheet posters, 500 slips, 1,000,000 cards heartshaped, 100 twenty-eight sheet posters, and 20,000 folio cards for shop windows. This was quite exclusive of newspaper wrappers and various other ingenious means of attracting attention to the play throughout the United Kingdom.

The huge vans covered in advertisements that used to roam around London, causing panic for the horses and amazement for the locals, disappeared from sight a quarter of a century ago. Now, the only moving ads we have are the sad sandwich boards and the guys handing out flyers, who sometimes "double up," as they say in theater. A theater manager is responsible for the largest street and general advertising effort related to the "Dead Heart" that has ever been recorded. Mr. Smith, who managed this section at the Adelphi, released a statement that details the totals as follows: 10,000,000 stickers (which were, by the way, a real hassle), 30,000 small images of the guillotine scene, 5,000 reams of stationery, 110,000 business envelopes, 60,000 stamped envelopes, 2,000 six-sheet prints of the Bastille scene, 5,000,000 handbills, 1,000 six-sheet posters, 500 slips, 1,000,000 heart-shaped cards, 100 twenty-eight sheet posters, and 20,000 large cards for shop windows. This total does not include newspaper wrappers and various other clever ways of grabbing attention for the play across the United Kingdom.

Among other forms of advertising, that on the copper coinage must not be forgotten. The extensive defacement of the pence and halfpence of the realm in the interests of a well-known weekly paper ultimately led to the interference of Parliament, and may fairly be regarded as the cause, or[32] at all events as one of the principal causes, of the sum of £10,000 being voted in July 1855 for the replacement of the old, worn, battered, and mixed coppers by our present bronze coinage.

Among other types of advertising, we shouldn't overlook the one on copper coins. The heavy defacement of the pennies and halfpennies in favor of a popular weekly paper eventually got Parliament involved, and it can reasonably be seen as the reason, or at least one of the main reasons, that £10,000 was allocated in July 1855 to replace the old, worn-out, damaged, and mixed coppers with our current bronze coins.[32]

And now, having given a hurried and summarised glance at the growth and progress of advertising of all kinds and descriptions, from the earliest periods till the present time, we will begin at the beginning, and tell the story with all its ramifications, mainly according to those best possible authorities, the advertisements themselves.

And now, after taking a quick look at the development and evolution of advertising in all its forms, from the earliest times to now, we will start from the beginning and tell the story in detail, primarily based on the best sources available: the advertisements themselves.


[4] The opening notice of the baths at Pompeii was almost perfect when discovered, and originally read thus:—“Dedicatone . Thermarum . Muneris . Cnæi . Allei . Nigidii . Maii . Venalio . Athelæ . Sparsiones . Vela . Erunt . Maio . Principi . Coloniæ . Feliciter.”

[4] The opening notice of the baths at Pompeii was nearly perfect when found, and originally read:—“Dedication of the Baths. Gift of Cnaius Allei Nigidii Maii Venalio Athelæ. Sprinklings. Curtains will be in place on May. To the chief of the colony. Wishing you well.”

[5] Notes and Queries, vol. xi., 3d series.

[5] Notes and Queries, vol. 11, 3rd series.

[6] “History of Signboards.”

"Signboard History."


[33]

[33]

CHAPTER 3.
OLD SCHOOL ADVERTISING.

Though it would be quite impossible to give any exact idea as to the period when the identical first advertisement of any kind made its appearance, or what particular clime has the honour of introducing a system which now plays so important a part in all civilised countries, there need be no hesitation in ascribing the origin of advertising to the remotest possible times—to the earliest times when competition, caused by an increasing population, led each man to make efforts in that race for prominence which has in one way or other gone on ever since. As soon as the progress of events or the development of civilisation had cast communities together, each individual member naturally tried to do the best he could for himself, and as he, in the course of events, had naturally to encounter rivals in his way of life, it is not hard to understand that some means of preventing a particular light being hid under a bushel soon presented itself. That this means was an advertisement is almost certain; and so almost as long as there has been a world—or quite as long, using the term as it is best understood now—there have been advertisements. At this early stage of history, almost every trade and profession was still exercised by itinerants, who proclaimed their wares or their qualifications with more or less flowery encomiums, with, in fact, the advertisement verbal, which, under some circumstances, is still very useful. But the time came when the tradesman or professor settled down, and opened what,[34] for argument’s sake, we will call a shop. Then another method of obtaining publicity became requisite, and the crier stepped forward to act as a medium between the provider and the consumer. This is, however, but another form of the same system, and, like its simpler congener, has still an existence, though not an ostentatious one. When the art of writing was invented, the means of extending the knowledge which had heretofore been simply cried, was greatly extended, and advertising gradually became an art to be cultivated.

Though it's almost impossible to pinpoint when the very first advertisement appeared or which place can claim the honor of introducing a system that now plays such a crucial role in all civilized countries, we can confidently trace the origins of advertising back to the earliest times. It stemmed from competition fueled by a growing population, prompting each person to strive for prominence in a race that has continued ever since. As events progressed and civilization developed, communities came together, and each individual naturally sought to do the best they could for themselves. Faced with rivals in their endeavors, it makes sense that they soon found a way to ensure their unique qualities or offerings didn't go unnoticed. Ads became that solution, and for as long as there has been a world—at least as we define it today—advertisements have existed. In those early days, nearly every trade and profession was still performed by traveling merchants who boasted about their goods or skills with varying degrees of flair, essentially using verbal advertisements that are still useful in some situations. However, there came a time when tradespeople or professionals settled down and opened what, for the sake of this discussion, we’ll call a shop. At that point, a new way to gain attention was needed, leading to the rise of criers who acted as intermediaries between suppliers and consumers. This was simply another form of the same system, which, like its simpler counterpart, still exists today, though not in a flashy manner. With the advent of writing, the means of sharing information that had previously relied on vocal shouting expanded significantly, allowing advertising to evolve into an art form worth mastering.

Very soon after the invention of writing in its rudest form, it was turned to account in the way of giving publicity to events in the way of advertisement; for rewards for and descriptions of runaway slaves, written on papyri more than three thousand years ago, have been exhumed from the ruins of Thebes. An early but mythical instance of a reward being offered in an advertisement is related by Pausanias,[7] who, speaking of the art of working metals, says that the people of Phineum, in Arcadia, pretended that Ulysses dedicated a statue of bronze to Neptune, in the hope that by that deity’s intervention he might recover the horses he had lost; and, he adds, “they showed me an inscription on the pedestal of the statue offering a reward to any person who should find and take care of the animals.”

Very soon after writing was first invented, it was used to make announcements about events, like advertisements. For example, rewards and descriptions of runaway slaves written on papyrus over three thousand years ago have been discovered in the ruins of Thebes. An early but mythical instance of a reward being offered in an advertisement is mentioned by Pausanias,[7] who, talking about metalworking, states that the people of Phineum in Arcadia claimed that Ulysses dedicated a bronze statue to Neptune, hoping that the god would help him recover his lost horses. He adds, “they showed me an inscription on the pedestal of the statue offering a reward to anyone who would find and take care of the animals.”

The Greeks used another mode of giving publicity which is worthy of remark here. They used to affix to the statues of the infernal deities, in the temenos of their temples, curses inscribed on sheets of lead, by which they devoted to the vengeance of those gods the persons who had found or stolen certain things, or injured the advertisers in any other way. As the names of the offenders were given in full in these singular inscriptions, they had the effect of making the grievances known to mortals as well[35] as immortals, and thus the advertisement was attained. The only difference between these and ordinary public notices was that the threat of punishment was held out instead of the offer of reward. A compromise was endeavoured generally at the same time, the evil invoked being deprecated in case of restitution of the property. A most interesting collection of such imprecations (diræ defixiones, or κατάδεσμοι) was found in 1858 in the temenos of the infernal deities attached to the temple of Demeter at Cnidus. It is at present deposited in the British Museum, where the curious reader may inspect it in the second vase-room.

The Greeks had another interesting way of making things public that deserves mention here. They would attach curses on sheets of lead to the statues of the underworld gods in the temenos of their temples. These curses devoted to the vengeance of those gods anyone who found or stole certain items, or harmed the individuals making the announcements in any way. Since the full names of the offenders were included in these unique inscriptions, it effectively made their grievances known to both mortals and immortals, achieving the purpose of the advertisement. The only difference between these and regular public notices was that they included a threat of punishment instead of a promise of reward. Generally, an attempt was made at the same time to compromise, with the curse being retracted if the item was returned. A fascinating collection of such curses (diræ defixiones, or κατάδεσμοι) was discovered in 1858 in the temenos of the underworld gods at the temple of Demeter in Cnidus. It is currently housed in the British Museum, where curious visitors can view it in the second vase room.

A common mode of advertising, about the same time, was by means of the public crier, κήρυξ. In comparatively modern times our town-criers have been proverbial for murdering the king’s English, or, at all events, of robbing it of all elecutionary beauties. Not so among the Greeks, who were so nice in point of oratorical power, and so offended by a vicious pronunciation, that they would not suffer even the public crier to proclaim their laws unless he was accompanied by a musician, who, in case of an inexact tone, might be ready to give him the proper pitch and expression. But this would hardly be the case when the public crier was employed by private individuals. In Apuleius (“Golden Ass”) we are brought face to face with one of these characters, a cunning rogue, full of low humour, who appears to have combined the duties of crier and auctioneer. Thus, when the slave and the ass are led out for sale, the crier proclaims the price of each with a loud voice, joking at the same time to the best of his abilities, in order to keep the audience in good humour. This latter idea has not been lost sight of in more modern days. “The crier, bawling till his throat was almost split, cracked all sorts of ridiculous jokes upon me [the ass]. ‘What is the use,’ said he, ‘of offering for sale this old screw of a jackass, with his foundered hoofs, his ugly colour, his sluggishness in everything but vice, and a hide that is[36] nothing but a ready-made sieve? Let us even make a present of him, if we can find any one who will not be loth to throw away hay on the brute.’ In this way the crier kept the bystanders in roars of laughter.”[8]

A common way of advertising back then was through the public crier, κήρυξ. In more recent times, our town criers have become known for messing up the king’s English or, at the very least, stripping it of all its eloquence. This wasn’t the case among the Greeks, who valued oratory skills and were so offended by poor pronunciation that they wouldn’t allow even the public crier to announce their laws unless accompanied by a musician who could correct the tone and expression if needed. However, this didn’t apply when the crier was hired by private individuals. In Apuleius’ “Golden Ass,” we meet one of these characters, a clever trickster with a sense of humor, who seemed to combine the roles of crier and auctioneer. So, when the slave and the donkey were brought out for sale, the crier loudly announced the price of each while cracking jokes to keep the crowd entertained. This idea hasn’t been forgotten in more modern times. “The crier, shouting until his throat was almost sore, made all sorts of ridiculous jokes about me [the donkey]. ‘What’s the point,’ he said, ‘of selling this old mangy donkey, with his worn-out hooves, his terrible color, his laziness in everything except for mischief, and a hide that’s just a ready-made sieve? Let’s just give him away if we can find someone willing to waste hay on this creature.’ This kept the onlookers in stitches.”[36]

The same story furnishes further particulars regarding the ancient mode of crying. When Psyche has absconded, Venus requests Mercury “to proclaim her in public, and announce a reward to him who shall find her.” She further enjoins the divine crier to “clearly describe the marks by which Psyche may be recognised, that no one may excuse himself on the plea of ignorance, if he incurs the crime of unlawfully concealing her.” So saying, she gives him a little book, in which is written Psyche’s name and sundry particulars. Mercury thereupon descends to the earth, and goes about among all nations, where he thus proclaims the loss of Psyche, and the reward for her return:—“If any one can seize her in her flight, and bring back a fugitive daughter of a king, a handmaid of Venus, by name Psyche, or discover where she has concealed herself, let such person repair to Mercury, the crier, behind the boundaries of Murtia,[9] and receive by way of reward for the discovery seven sweet kisses from Venus herself, and one exquisitely delicious touch of her charming tongue.” A somewhat similar reward is offered by Venus in the hue and cry she raises after her fugitive son in the first idyl of Moschus, a Syracusan poet who flourished about 250 years before the Christian era: “If any one has seen my son Eros straying in the cross roads, [know ye] he is a runaway. The informer shall have a reward. The kiss of Venus shall be your pay; and if you bring him, not the bare kiss only, but, stranger, you shall have something[37] more.”[10] This something more is probably the “quidquid post oscula dulce” of Secundus, but is sufficiently vague to be anything else, and certainly promises much more than the “will be rewarded” of our own time.

The same story provides more details about the ancient way of announcing. When Psyche has run away, Venus asks Mercury “to announce her publicly and offer a reward to anyone who finds her.” She also instructs the divine messenger to “clearly describe the features that will identify Psyche, so no one can claim ignorance if they hide her.” After saying this, she gives him a small book with Psyche’s name and various details written in it. Mercury then comes down to Earth and travels among all nations, where he proclaims the loss of Psyche and the reward for her return: “If anyone can catch her as she flees and bring back the runaway daughter of a king, a servant of Venus named Psyche, or find out where she’s hiding, that person should come to Mercury, the announcer, beyond the borders of Murtia,[9] and receive, as a reward for the information, seven sweet kisses from Venus herself, along with one exquisitely delightful touch of her charming tongue.” A somewhat similar reward is offered by Venus in the shout she raises after her runaway son in the first idyl of Moschus, a Syracusan poet who flourished about 250 years before the Christian era: “If anyone has seen my son Eros wandering at the crossroads, [know this] he is a runaway. The informer will be rewarded. The kiss of Venus will be your payment; and if you bring him back, it won't just be the kiss—stranger, you’ll get something[37] more.”[10] This something more is likely the “quidquid post oscula dulce” of Secundus, but it’s vague enough to refer to anything else, and certainly promises much more than the “will be rewarded” of our time.

So far with the Greeks and their advertisements. Details grow more abundant when we enter upon the subject of advertising in Rome. The cities of Herculaneum and Pompeii, buried in the midst of their sorrows and pleasures, their joys and cares, in the very midst of the turmoil of life and commerce, and discovered ages after exactly as they were on the morning of that ominous 24th of August A.D. 79, show us that the benefit to be derived from publicity was well understood in those luxurious and highly-cultivated cities. The walls in the most frequented parts are covered with notices of a different kind, painted in black or red. Their spelling is very indifferent, and the painters who busied themselves with this branch of the profession do not appear to have aimed at anything like artistic uniformity or high finish. Still these advertisements, hasty and transitory as they are, bear voluminous testimony as to the state of society, the wants and requirements, and the actual standard of public taste of the Romans in that age. As might be expected, advertisements of plays and gladiators are common. Of these the public were acquainted in the following forms,—

So far with the Greeks and their ads. The details become clearer when we talk about advertising in Rome. The cities of Herculaneum and Pompeii, buried amid their sorrows and pleasures, their joys and worries, right in the chaos of life and commerce, were uncovered ages later just as they were on that fateful morning of August 24 CE 79. They show us that the benefits of publicity were well understood in those luxurious and sophisticated cities. The walls in the busiest areas are covered with various notices, painted in black or red. The spelling isn't great, and the painters who worked in this field don't seem to have aimed for any artistic consistency or high quality. Still, these ads, as hasty and fleeting as they are, provide a wealth of evidence about the state of society, the needs and demands, and the actual standard of public taste among the Romans at that time. As expected, ads for shows and gladiators are common. The public was familiar with these in the following forms—

AEDILIS . FAMILIA . GLADIATORIA . PUGNABIT
POMPEIS . PR . K . JUNIAS . VENATIO ET VELA
ERUNT.

AEDILIS . FAMILIA . GLADIATORIA . FIGHTING
POMPEIS . PR . K . JUNIAS . HUNTING AND SAILS
WILL BE.

or,

or

N . FESTI AMPLIATI
FAMILIA GLADIATORIA . PUGNA ITERUM
PUGNA . XVI . K . JVN . VENAT . VELA.[11]

N . FESTI AMPLIATI
GLADIATOR FAMILY . FIGHT AGAIN
FIGHT . XVI . K . JVN . HUNTING . SAIL. __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

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[38]

Such inscriptions occur in various parts of Pompeii, sometimes written on smooth surfaces between pilasters (denominated albua), at other times painted on the walls. Places of great resort were selected for preference, and thus it is that numerous advertisements are found under the portico of the baths at Pompeii, where persons waited for admission, and where notices of shows, exhibitions, or sales would be sure to attract the attention of the weary lounger.

Such inscriptions can be found in different areas of Pompeii, sometimes written on smooth surfaces between columns (called albua), and other times painted on the walls. Popular places were chosen for this, which is why many advertisements appear under the portico of the baths at Pompeii, where people waited to get in, and where notices for shows, exhibitions, or sales would definitely catch the eye of tired passersby.

Baths we find advertised in the following terms,—

Baths are advertised in the following terms—

THERMAE
M . CRASSI FRUGII
AQUA . MARINA . ET . BALN.
AQUA . DULCI . JANUARIUS . L.

THERMAE
M. CRASSI FRUGII
SALT WATER AND BATHS.
FRESH WATER. JANUARY. L.

which of course means “warm, sea, and fresh water baths.” As provincials add to their notices “as in London,” or “à la mode de Paris,” so Pompeians and others not unfrequently proclaimed that they followed the customs of Rome at their several establishments. Thus the keeper of a bathing-house near Bologna acquainted the public that—

which of course means “warm, sea, and fresh water baths.” Just like people in the provinces add to their notices “as in London,” or “à la mode de Paris,” Pompeians and others often proclaimed that they followed the customs of Rome at their various establishments. So, the owner of a bathing house near Bologna informed the public that—

IN . PRAEDIS
C . LEGIANNI VERI
BALNEUM . MORE . URBICO . LAVAT.
OMNIA COMMODA . PRAESTANTUR.

IN . PRAEDIS
C . LEGIANNI VERI
BALNEUM . MORE . URBICO . LAVAT.
ALL AMENITIES . ARE PROVIDED.

At his establishments there were baths according to the fashion of “the town,” besides “every convenience.” And a similar inscription occurred by the Via Nomentana, eight miles from Rome—

At his places, there were baths in the style of "the town," along with "every convenience." A similar sign was found along the Via Nomentana, eight miles from Rome—

IN . PRAEDIS . AURE
LIAE . FAUSTINIANAE
BALINEUS . LAVAT . MO
RE . URBICO . ET OMNIS.
HUMANITAS . PRAESTA
TUR.

IN . PRAEDIS . AURE
LIAE . FAUSTINIANAE
BALINEUS . LAVAT . MO
RE . URBICO . ET OMNIS.
HUMANITAS . PRAESTA
TUR.

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Antigonus, the hero of 2112 victories. Superbus, a comparatively unknown man. Casuntius, the master of the latter, is supposed to be in the act of advising him to yield to the invincible retiarius. The other figure represents Aniketos Achilles, a great Samnite gladiator, who merited the title of invincible.

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Antigonus, the champion of 2112 victories. Superbus, a relatively unknown figure. Casuntius, the master of Superbus, seems to be advising him to surrender to the unbeatable retiarius. The other figure represents Aniketos Achilles, a renowned Samnite gladiator, who earned the title of invincible.

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[39]

Those who had premises to let or sell affixed a short notice to the house itself, and more detailed bills were posted at the “advertising stations.” Thus in Plautus’s “Trinummus,” Act v., the indignant Callicles says to his spendthrift son, “You have dared to put up in my absence, and unknown to me, that this house is to be sold”—(“Ædes venales hasce inscribit literis”). Sometimes, also, the inscription, “Illico ædes venales” (“here is a house for sale”) appears to have been painted on the door, or on the album. An auctioneer would describe a house as “Villa bona beneque edificata” (a good and well-built house), and full details of the premises were given in the larger placards painted on walls. In the street of the Fullers in Pompeii occurs the following inscription, painted in red, over another which had been painted in black and whitewashed over,—

Those who had properties to rent or sell put up a short notice on the house itself, and more detailed advertisements were posted at the “advertising stations.” In Plautus’s "Trinummus," Act v., the angry Callicles tells his reckless son, “You had the audacity to put up a sign while I was away, without telling me, that this house is for sale”—(“Ædes venales hasce inscribit literis”). Sometimes, the sign “Illico ædes venales” (“here is a house for sale”) was painted on the door, or on the album. An auctioneer would describe a house as “Villa bona beneque edificata” (a good and well-built house), and full details of the property were given on larger placards painted on walls. In the street of the Fullers in Pompeii, there is the following inscription, painted in red, over another one that had been painted in black and whitewashed over—

IN . PRAEDIS . JULIAE . S . P . F . FELICIS
LOCANTUR
BALNEUM . VENEREUM . ET . NONGENTUM . PERGULAE
CENACULA . EX . IDIBUS . AUG . PRIORIS . IN . IDUS . AUG .
SEXTAS . ANNOS . CONTINUOS . QUINQUE.
S . Q . D . L . E . N . C.

IN . PRAEDIS . JULIAE . S . P . F . FELICIS
LOCATED
THE . BATHHOUSE . OF . VENUS . AND . NONGENTUM . PERGULAE
THE . DINING . ROOMS . FROM . THE . IDES . OF . AUGUST . OF . THE . PREVIOUS . YEAR . ON . THE . IDES . OF . AUGUST .
FOR . SIX . CONTINUOUS . YEARS . FIVE.
S . Q . D . L . E . N . C.

Which has been translated, “On the estate of Julia Felix, daughter of Spurius Felix, are to let from the 1st to the[40] 6th of the ides of August (i.e., between August 6th and 8th), on a lease of five years, a bath, a venereum, and nine hundred shops, bowers, and upper apartments.”[12] The seven final initials, antiquaries, who profess to read what to others is unreadable, explain, “They are not to let to any person exercising an infamous profession.” But as this seems a singular clause where there is a venereum to be let, other erudites have seen in it, “Si quis dominam loci eius non cognoverit,” and fancy that they read underneath, “Adeat Suettum Verum,” in which case the whole should mean, “If anybody should not know the lady of the house, let him go to Suettus Verus.” The following is another example of the way in which Roman landlords advertised “desirable residences,” and “commodious business premises”—

Which has been translated, “On the estate of Julia Felix, daughter of Spurius Felix, there are rentals available from the 1st to the [40] 6th of the Ides of August (i.e., between August 6th and 8th), on a lease of five years, a bathhouse, a brothel, and nine hundred shops, cottages, and upper apartments.”[12] The seven final letters, antiquarians who claim to decipher what is unreadable to others, clarify, “They are not to be rented to anyone involved in a disreputable profession.” However, since this seems like an unusual clause given that there is a brothel for rent, other scholars interpret it as, “If anyone does not know the lady of the house,” and imagine they read underneath, “Let him go to Suettus Verus,” in which case the whole would mean, “If anyone doesn’t know the lady of the house, let him go to Suettus Verus.” This is another example of how Roman landlords advertised “attractive residences” and “spacious business premises”

INSULA ARRIANA
POLLIANA . GN . ALIF I . NIGID I MAI
LOCANTUR . EX . I . JULIS . PRIMIS . TABERNAE
CUM . PERGULIS . SUIS . ET COENACULA
EQUESTRIA . ET . DOMUS . CONDUCTOR
CONVENITO . PRIMUM GN . ALIF I
NIGID I . MAI SER.

INSULA ARRIANA
POLLIANA . GN . ALIF I . NIGID I MAI
LOCANTUR . EX . I . JULIS . PRIMIS . TABERNAE
WITH . THEIR . STORAGE . AND . DINING . SPACES
EQUESTRIAN . AND . RENTED . HOUSE
GATHER . FIRST . GN . ALIF I
NIGID I . MAI SER.

Said to mean, “In the Arrian Pollian block of houses, the property of Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior, are to let from the first of the ides of July, shops with their bowers, and gentlemen’s apartments. The hirer must apply to the slave of Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior.”

Said to mean, “In the Arrian Pollian block of houses, owned by Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior, there are shops with their awnings and gentlemen’s apartments available for rent starting on the 15th of July. The renter must contact the slave of Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior.”

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Apparently remarks and opinions expressed by inhabitants, with reference to their fancies and favourites, in the circuses and at other public exhibitions.

WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.—Apparently, these are comments and opinions shared by the locals about their preferences and favorites during the shows and other public events.

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Both the Greeks and the Romans had on their houses a piece of the wall whitened to receive inscriptions relative to their affairs. The first called this λεύκωμα, the latter album. Many examples of them are found in Pompeii, generally in very inferior writing and spelling. Even the schoolmaster Valentinus, who on his album, as was the constant practice, invoked the patronage of some high personages, was very loose in his grammar, and the untoward outbreak of Vesuvius has perpetuated his blundering use of an accusative instead of an ablative: “Cum discentes suos.” All the Pompeian inscriptions mentioned above were painted, but a few instances also occur of notices being merely scratched on the wall. Thus we find in one place, “Damas audi,” and on a pier at the angle of the house of the tragic poet is an Etruscan inscription scratched in the wall with a nail, which has been translated by a learned Neapolitan, “You shall hear a poem of Numerius.” But these so-called Etruscan inscriptions are by no means so well understood as we could wish, and their interpretation is far from incontestable. There is another on a house of Pompeii, which has been Latinised into, “Ex hinc viatoriens ante turri xii inibi. Sarinus Publii cauponatur. Ut adires. Vale.” That is, “Traveller, going from here to the twelfth tower, there Sarinus keeps a tavern. This is to request you to enter. Farewell.” This inscription, however, is so obscure that another savant has read in it a notification that a certain magistrate, Adirens Caius, had brought the waters of the Sarno to Pompeii—a most material difference certainly.

Both the Greeks and the Romans had a section of their walls whitened to display inscriptions related to their affairs. The Greeks called it λεύκωμα, while the Romans referred to it as album. Many examples can be found in Pompeii, generally written in very poor script and spelling. Even the schoolmaster Valentinus, who, as was customary, asked for the protection of some prominent figures on his album, was quite careless with his grammar, and the unfortunate eruption of Vesuvius has preserved his incorrect use of an accusative instead of an ablative: “Cum discentes suos.” All the Pompeian inscriptions mentioned above were painted, but there are also a few instances where notices were just scratched into the wall. For example, we find one place saying, “Damas audi,” and on a pillar at the corner of the house of the tragic poet, there’s an Etruscan inscription scratched into the wall with a nail, translated by an educated Neapolitan as, “You shall hear a poem of Numerius.” However, these so-called Etruscan inscriptions are not as well understood as we would like, and their interpretations are far from certain. Another inscription on a house in Pompeii has been Latinized to read, “Ex hinc viatoriens ante turri xii inibi. Sarinus Publii cauponatur. Ut adires. Vale.” This means, “Traveller, going from here to the twelfth tower, there Sarinus keeps a tavern. This is to request you to enter. Farewell.” However, this inscription is so unclear that another savant has interpreted it as a notification that a certain magistrate, Adirens Caius, had brought the waters of the Sarno to Pompeii—a significant difference indeed.

We are made acquainted with other Roman bills and advertisements by the works of the poets and dramatists. Thus at Trimalchion’s banquet, in the “Satyricon,” Pliny mentions that a poet hired a house, built an oratory, hired forms, and dispersed prospectuses. They also read their[42] works publicly,[13] an occupation in which they were much interrupted and annoyed by idlers and impertinent boys. Another mode of advertising new works more resembled that of our own country. The Roman booksellers used to placard their shops with the titles of the new books they had for sale. Such was the shop of Atrectus, described by Martial—

We learn about other Roman bills and advertisements through the works of poets and playwrights. For instance, at Trimalchio’s banquet in the “Satyricon,” Pliny mentions that a poet rented a house, built a small chapel, hired seating, and handed out flyers. They also read their works publicly, a task that was often interrupted and disturbed by onlookers and annoying kids. Another way of promoting new works was more similar to what we do today. Roman booksellers used to post signs outside their shops displaying the titles of the new books they had for sale. Such was the shop of Atrectus, described by Martial—

Against Caesar is the tavern The script on the posts here and there completely Read all the poets quickly Illinc me pete.

[7] Pausanias Græc., lib. viii. c. 14, Arcadia.

[7] Pausanias Greek, book eight, chapter 14, Arcadia.

[8] Apuleius, Golden Ass, Book viii., Episode 8.

[8] Apuleius, Golden Ass, Book 8, Episode 8.

[9] The spot here mentioned was at the back of the Temple of Venus Myrtia (the myrtle Venus), on Mount Aventine in Rome.

[9] The location mentioned was behind the Temple of Venus Myrtia (the myrtle Venus), on Mount Aventine in Rome.

[10] Apuleius, Book vi.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Apuleius, Book 6.

[11] That is, “The troop of gladiators of the ædil will fight on the 31st of May. There will be fights with wild animals, and an awning to keep off the sun.” Wind and weather permitting, there were awnings over the heads of the spectators; but, generally, there appears to have been too much wind in this breezy summer retreat to admit of this luxury. “Nam ventus populo vela negare solet,” says Martial, and the same idea occurs in three other places in this poet’s works (vi. 9; xi. 21; xiv. 29). Sometimes, also, the bills of gladiators promise sparsiones, which consisted in certain sprinklings of water perfumed with saffron or other odours; and, as they produced what was called a nimbus, or cloud, the perfumes were probably dispersed over the audience in drops by means of pipes or spouts, or, perhaps, by some kind of rude engine.

[11] That is, “The group of gladiators from the ædile will be fighting on May 31st. There will be contests with wild animals, and a canopy to shield us from the sun.” If the weather cooperated, there were canopies over the heads of the spectators; however, in this breezy summer spot, it seems there was often too much wind for this luxury. “For the wind often denies the sails to the people,” says Martial, and this idea appears in three other places in his works (vi. 9; xi. 21; xiv. 29). Sometimes, the gladiator announcements also promised sparsiones, which were certain sprinkles of water scented with saffron or other fragrances; and since they created what was called a nimbus, or cloud, the scents were likely spread over the audience in droplets through pipes or spouts, or maybe even by some sort of primitive machine.

[12] Nine hundred shops in a town which would hardly contain more than about twelve hundred is rather incredible—perhaps it should be ninety. Pergulæ were either porticos shaded with verdure, lattices with creeping plants, or small rooms above the shops, bedrooms for the shopkeepers. Cœnacula were rooms under the terraces. When they were good enough to let to the higher classes they were called equestria (as in the following advertisement). Plutarch informs us that Sylla, in his younger days, lived in one of them, where he paid a rent of £8 a year.

[12] Nine hundred shops in a town that could barely fit about twelve hundred people is pretty unbelievable—maybe it should be ninety. Pergulæ were either porches shaded with greenery, trellises covered in climbing plants, or small rooms above the shops that served as bedrooms for the shopkeepers. Cœnacula were rooms located under the terraces. When they were good enough to rent to the upper class, they were called equestria (as in the following advertisement). Plutarch tells us that Sylla, in his younger days, lived in one of them, where he paid a rent of £8 a year.

[13] A. L. Millin, Description d’un Mosaique antique du Musée Pio. Clementin, à Rome, 1819, p. 9.

[13] A. L. Millin, Description of an Ancient Mosaic in the Pio Clementino Museum, Rome, 1819, p. 9.


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CHAPTER 4.
MEDIEVAL AND OTHER TYPES OF ADVERTISING.

In the ages which immediately succeeded the fall of the Roman Empire, and the western migration of the barbarian hordes, darkness and ignorance held paramount sway, education was at a terrible discount, and the arts of reading and writing were confined almost entirely to the monks and the superior clergy. In fact, it was regarded as evidence of effeminacy for any knight or noble to be able to make marks on parchment or vellum, or to be able to decipher them when made. Newspapers were, of course, things undreamt of, but newsmen—itinerants who collected scraps of information and retailed them in the towns and market-places—were now and again to be found. The travelling packman or pedlar was, however, the chief medium of intercommunication in the Middle Ages, and it is not hard to imagine how welcome his appearance must have been in those days, when a hundred miles constituted an immense and almost interminable journey. We know how bad the roads were, and how difficult travelling was in comparatively modern days, but we can form very little idea of the obstacles which beset all attempts at the communication of one commercial centre with another in the early Middle Ages. Everybody being alike shrouded in the darkness of ignorance, it is safe to assume, therefore, that written advertisements were quite unknown, as few beyond those who had written them would have been able to understand them. Nearly the whole of the laity, from the king to the villain or thrall, were equally illiterate, and once more the[44] public crier became the only medium for obtaining publicity; but from the simple mode in which all business was conducted his position was probably a sinecure. An occasional proclamation of peace or war, or a sale of slaves or plunder, was probably the only topic which gave him the opportunity of exercising his eloquence. But with the increase of civilisation, and consequent wealth and competition, the crier’s labours assumed a wider field.

In the time right after the fall of the Roman Empire and the westward movement of barbarian tribes, ignorance and darkness were dominant, education was highly undervalued, and the skills of reading and writing were mostly limited to monks and high-ranking clergy. In fact, it was seen as a sign of weakness for any knight or noble to know how to write or read. Newspapers were, of course, something unimaginable, but there were news gatherers—travelers who collected bits of information and shared them in towns and marketplaces—once in a while. The traveling merchant or peddler was, however, the main way people communicated in the Middle Ages, and it’s easy to picture how welcomed his arrival must have been in those times when traveling a hundred miles was an enormous and nearly endless journey. We know the roads were terrible, and how difficult traveling was even in more modern times, but we can hardly grasp the obstacles that hindered communication between trade centers in the early Middle Ages. Since everyone was equally wrapped in ignorance, it’s safe to say that written advertisements were virtually nonexistent, as few people other than those who wrote them would have been able to understand them. Nearly all laypeople, from kings to peasants, were equally illiterate, and once again, the public crier became the only way to get the word out; but given how simple all business was handled, his role was probably a cushy job. An occasional announcement of peace or war, or a sale of slaves or spoils, was likely the only time he got to use his skills. However, with the growth of civilization, wealth, and competition, the crier’s duties expanded significantly.

The mediæval crier used to carry a horn, by means of which he attracted the people’s attention when about to make a proclamation or publication. Public criers appear to have formed a well-organised body in France as early as the twelfth century; for by a charter of Louis VII., granted in the year 1141 to the inhabitants of the province of Berry, the old custom of the country was confirmed, according to which there were to be only twelve criers, five of which should go about the taverns crying with their usual cry, and carrying with them samples of the wine they cried, in order that the people might taste. For the first time they blew the horn they were entitled to a penny, and the same for every time after, according to custom. These criers of wine were a French peculiarity, of which we find no parallel in the history of England. They perambulated the streets of Paris in troops, each with a large wooden measure of wine in his hand, from which to make the passers-by taste the wine they proclaimed, a mode of advertising which would be very agreeable in the present day, but which would, we fancy, be rather too successful for the advertiser. These wine-criers are mentioned by John de Garlando, a Norman writer, who was probably a contemporary of William the Conqueror. “Præcones vini,” says he, “clamant hiante gula, vinum venumdandum in tabernis ad quatuor denarios.”[14] A quaint and significant[45] story is told in an old chronicle in connection with this system of advertising. An old woman, named Adelheid, was possessed of a strong desire to proclaim the Word of God, but not having lungs sufficiently powerful for the noisy propagation contemplated by her, she paid a wine-crier to go about the town, and, instead of proclaiming the prices of the wine, to proclaim these sacred words: “God is righteous! God is merciful! God is good and excellent!” And as the man went about shouting these words she followed him, exclaiming, “He speaks well! he says truly!” The poor old body hardly succeeded according to her pious desire, for she was arrested and tried, and as it was thought she had done this out of vanity (causa laudis humanæ), she was burned alive.[15] From this it would seem that there was as much protection for the monks in their profession as for the criers, who were very proud of their special prerogatives.

The medieval crier used to carry a horn to grab people’s attention when making a proclamation. Public criers seem to have been a well-organized group in France as early as the twelfth century; for instance, a charter from Louis VII., granted in 1141 to the people of Berry, confirmed the local custom, which allowed for only twelve criers. Five of them would go around the taverns announcing their usual sales while carrying samples of the wine to let people taste it. They earned a penny the first time they blew the horn and the same amount for each subsequent time, as per custom. These wine criers were specific to France, with no equivalent in England's history. They walked the streets of Paris in groups, each holding a large wooden measure of wine from which they offered tastings to passers-by—a promotional method that would likely be quite effective today, although perhaps uncomfortably successful for the advertisers. Wine criers are mentioned by John de Garlando, a Norman writer likely contemporary with William the Conqueror. “Wine criers,” he says, “shout with open mouths, selling wine in taverns for four denarii.”[14] A charming and significant story is told in an old chronicle about this advertising system. An elderly woman named Adelheid was eager to spread the Word of God, but lacking the loud voice necessary for such loud proclamations, she paid a wine crier to walk through the town and instead of announcing wine prices, to shout these sacred words: “God is righteous! God is merciful! God is good and excellent!” As he went around crying these words, she followed him, shouting, “He speaks well! He speaks the truth!” Unfortunately for her, she didn’t achieve her spiritual goal, as she was arrested and tried, and because it was thought she did this out of vanity (causa laudis humanæ), she was burned alive. [15] This suggests that there was as much protection for the monks in their calling as there was for the criers, who were quite proud of their special privileges.

The public criers in France, at an early period, were formed into a corporation, and in 1258 obtained various statutes from Philip Augustus, some of which, relating to the criers of wine, are excessively curious. Thus it was ordained that—

The public criers in France, at an early time, were organized into a group, and in 1258 they received various rules from Philip Augustus, some of which, concerning the criers of wine, are quite interesting. It was therefore established that—

“Whosoever is a crier in Paris may go to any tavern he likes and cry its wine, provided they sell wine from the wood, and that there is no other crier employed for that tavern; and the tavern-keeper cannot prohibit him.

“Anyone who is a crier in Paris can go to any tavern they want and promote its wine, as long as they sell wine from the wood and there isn’t another crier already working for that tavern; and the tavern owner can’t stop them.”

“If a crier finds people drinking in a tavern, he may ask what they pay for the wine they drink; and he may go out and cry the wine at the prices they pay, whether the tavern-keeper wishes it or not, provided always that there be no other crier employed for that tavern.

“If a town crier sees people drinking in a bar, he can ask how much they’re paying for the wine. He can then go outside and announce the prices they’re paying, whether the bar owner likes it or not, as long as there’s no other crier already working for that bar.”

“If a tavern-keeper sells wine in Paris and employs no crier, and closes his door against the criers, the crier may[46] proclaim that tavern-keeper’s wine at the same price as the king’s wine (the current price), that is to say, if it be a good wine year, at seven denarii, and if it be a bad wine year, at twelve denarii.

“If a bar owner sells wine in Paris and doesn't hire a town crier, and shuts his door to the criers, the crier may[46] announce that bar owner’s wine at the same price as the king’s wine (the current price), which means, if it's a good wine year, at seven denarii, and if it's a bad wine year, at twelve denarii."

“Each crier to receive daily from the tavern for which he cries at least four denarii, and he is bound on his oath not to claim more.

“Each crier must receive at least four denarii daily from the tavern they represent, and they are sworn not to demand more.”

“The crier shall go about crying twice a day, except in Lent, on Sundays and Fridays, the eight days of Christmas, and the Vigils, when they shall only cry once. On the Friday of the Adoration of the Cross they shall cry not at all. Neither are they to cry on the day on which the king, the queen, or any of the children of the royal family happens to die.”

“The crier will go around announcing twice a day, except during Lent, on Sundays and Fridays, the eight days of Christmas, and the Vigils, when they will only announce once. On the Friday of the Adoration of the Cross, they will not announce at all. They also won’t announce on the day when the king, queen, or any of the royal family members dies.”

This crying of wines is frequently alluded to in those French ballads of street-criers known as “Les crieries de Paris.” One of them has—

This crying of wines is often mentioned in the French street-crier ballads called “Les crieries de Paris.” One of them has—

If we shout in several places The good wine is strong at thirty-two,
A seize, a douze, a six, a huict.[16]

And another—

And another—

Other cries have made several, Which would take too long to recite, We shout about new wine and old,
Duquel on donne à tatter. __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

Early in the Middle Ages the public crier was still called Præco, as among the Romans; and an edict of the town of Tournay, dated 1368, describes him as “the sergeant of the rod (sergent à verge), who makes publications (crie les bans), and cries whatever else there is to be made known to the town.” The Assizes of Jerusalem, which contained[47] the code of civil laws of the whole of civilised Europe during the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, and which take us back to the most ancient forms of our own civil institutions, make mention in the following manner of the public crier: “Whosoever desires to sell anything by auction, must have it proclaimed by the crier, who is appointed by the lord viscount; and nobody else has a right to make any publication by crying. If anybody causes any such auction to be proclaimed by any other than the public crier, then the lord has a right by assize and custom to claim the property so cried as his own, and the crier shall be at the mercy of the lord. And whoever causes anything to be cried by the appointed public crier in any other way than it ought to be cried, and in any other way than is done by the lord or his representative, the lord may claim the property as his own, and the crier who thus cries it shall be amenable for falsehood, and is at the mercy of the lord, who may take from him all he possesses. But if he [the lord] does not do that, then he shall not suffer any other punishment; and if he be charged, he must be believed on his oath.”

Early in the Middle Ages, the public crier was still known as Præco, like in Roman times. An edict from the town of Tournay, dated 1368, describes him as “the sergeant of the rod (sergent à verge), who makes announcements (crie les bans), and cries out anything else that needs to be known to the town.” The Assizes of Jerusalem, which outlined the civil laws that governed all of civilized Europe during the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, and which connect us to the earliest forms of our civil institutions, state the following about the public crier: “Anyone who wants to sell something at auction must have it announced by the crier appointed by the lord viscount; and no one else has the right to make any announcements by crying. If anyone causes any auction to be announced by someone other than the public crier, the lord has the right, by assize and custom, to claim the property being announced as his own, and the crier will be subject to the lord's discretion. Moreover, if anyone has something announced by the appointed public crier in any way other than it should be announced, and in a manner different from how it’s done by the lord or his representative, the lord may claim the property as his own, and the crier who does this will be accountable for false claims and is at the mercy of the lord, who may take everything he owns. However, if the lord does not take action, he will not face any other punishment; and if accused, he must be believed based on his oath.”

From these very stringent and protective regulations it appears, then, that at this early period the public criers, or præcones, appointed by the lord, had the exclusive right of proclaiming all sales by auction, not only voluntary, but also judicial, of movables, as well as of fixtures; of “personal,” as well as of “real” property.

From these strict and protective regulations, it’s clear that during this early period, the public criers, or præcones, appointed by the lord, had the sole authority to announce all auction sales, including voluntary and judicial sales, of movable items, as well as fixtures; of “personal” property, as well as “real” property.

In England criers appear to have been also a national institution at an early period. They were sworn to sell truly and well to the best of their power and ability. They proclaimed the cause of the condemnation of all criminals, and made proclamations of every kind, except as concerned matters ecclesiastical, which were exclusively the province of the archbishop. They also cried all kinds of goods. In London we find Edmund le Criour mentioned in the documents relating to the Guildhall as early as 1299.[48] That criers used horns, as in France, appears from the will of a citizen of Bristol, dated 1388, who, disposing of some house property, desires “that the tenements so bequeathed shall be sold separately by the sound of the trumpet at the high cross of Bristol, without any fraud or collusion.” In Ipswich it was still customary in the last century to proclaim the meetings of the town council, the previous night at twelve o’clock, by the sound of a large horn, which is still preserved in the town hall of that borough. These horns were provided by the mayors of the different towns.

In England, town criers have been a national institution since an early period. They were sworn to sell honestly and to the best of their abilities. They announced the reasons for the convictions of criminals and made various proclamations, except for ecclesiastical matters, which were exclusively handled by the archbishop. They also shouted about all kinds of goods. In London, we find Edmund le Criour mentioned in documents related to the Guildhall as early as 1299.[48] It's noted that criers used horns, similar to those in France, as shown in the will of a Bristol citizen from 1388, who, when selling some property, requested “that the properties be sold separately by the sound of the trumpet at the high cross of Bristol, without any fraud or collusion.” In Ipswich, it was still customary in the last century to announce town council meetings the night before at midnight using a large horn, which is still kept in the town hall of that borough. These horns were provided by the mayors of various towns.

O per se O, or A New Cryer.

O per se O, or A New Caller.

“THE BELMAN OF LONDON.”

“THE DOORMAN OF LONDON.”

From Thomas Decker’s Lanthorne and Candle Light; or,
The Bell-Man’s Second Night’s Walke.
1608-9.

From Thomas Decker’s Lanthorne and Candle Light; or,
The Bell-Man’s Second Night’s Walke.
1608-9.

The public crier, then, was the chief organ by which the mediæval shopkeeper, in the absence of what we now know as “advertising mediums,” obtained publicity: it was also customary for most traders to have touters at their doors, who did duty as living advertisements. In low neighbourhoods this system still obtains, especially in connection with cheap photographic establishments, whose “doorsmen” select as a rule the most improbable people for their attentions, but compensate for this by their pertinacity and glibness. Possibly the triumph is the greater when the customer has been persuaded quite out of his or her original intentions. Most trades, in early times, were almost exclusively confined to certain streets, and as all the shops were alike unpretending, and open to the gaze—in fact, were stalls or booths—it behoved the shopkeeper to do something in order to attract customers. This he effected sometimes by means of a glaring sign, sometimes by means of a man or youth standing at the door, and vociferating with the full power of his lungs, “What d’ye lack, sir? what d’ye lack?” Our country is rather deficient in that kind of mediæval literature known in France as dicts and fabliaux, which teem with allusions to this custom of touting, which is noticeable, though, in Lydgate’s ballad of “London Lyckpenny” (Lack-penny), written in the first half of the fifteenth century. There we see the shopmen standing at the door, trying to outbawl each other to gain the custom of the passers-by. The spicer or grocer[49] bids the Kentish countryman to come and buy some spice, pepper, or saffron. In Cheapside, the mercers bewilder him with their velvet, silk, and lawn, and lay violent hands on him, in order to show him their “Paris thread, the finest in the land.” Throughout all Canwick (now Cannon Street), he is persecuted by drapers, who offer him cloth; and in other parts, particularly in East Cheap, the keepers of the eating-houses sorely tempt him with their cries of “Hot sheep’s feet, fresh maqurel, pies, and ribs of beef.” At last he falls a prey to the tempting invitation of a taverner, who makes up to him from his door with a cringing bow, and taking him by the sleeve, pronounces the words, “Sir, will you try our wine?” with such an insinuating and irresistible accent, that the Kentish man enters and spends his only penny in that tempting and hospitable house. Worthy old Stow supposes this interesting incident to have happened at the Pope’s Head, in Cornhill, and bids us enjoy the knowledge of the fact, that for his one penny the countryman had a pint of wine, and “for bread nothing did he pay, for that was allowed free” in those good old days. Free luncheons, though rare now, were commonly bestowed in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries on regular drinkers; and the practice of giving food to those who pay for drink is still current in many parts of the United States. The “Lyckpenny” story is one of the few instances in English literature of this early period, in which the custom of touting at shop doors is distinctly mentioned, but, as before remarked, the French fabliaux abound with such allusions. In the story of “Courtois d’Arras”—a travestie of the Prodigal Son in a thirteenth-century garb—Courtois finds the host standing at his door shouting, “Bon vin de Soissons, à six deniers le lot.” And in a mediæval mystery entitled “Li Jus de S. Nicolas,” the innkeeper, standing on the threshold, roars out, that in his house excellent dinners are to be had, with warm bread and warm herrings, and barrelfuls of Auxerre wine: “Céans il fait bon diner, céans il y a pain chaud et[50] harengs chauds, et vin d’Auxerre à plein tonneau.” In the “Trois Aveugles de Compiègne,” the thirsty wanderers hear mine host proclaiming in the street that he has “good, cool, and new wine, from Auxerre and from Soissons; bread and meat, and wine and fish: within is a good place to spend your money; within is accommodation for all kind of people; here is good lodging:”—

The town crier was the main way that medieval shopkeepers got the word out about their businesses, before we had things like advertising. It was common for traders to have touts at their doors acting as live ads. This practice still exists in poorer neighborhoods, especially at budget photography shops, where the doormen usually pick the most unlikely characters to draw in customers but make up for it with their persistence and charm. The success feels even greater when they manage to convince a customer to abandon their original plans. Back in the day, most trades were restricted to specific streets, and since the shops were all simple and easily visible—often just stalls or booths—shopkeepers had to do something to grab attention. They sometimes did this with flashy signs or by having a person shouting at the door, asking loudly, “What do you need, sir? What do you need?” Our country doesn't have much of that medieval literature known in France as dicts and fabliaux, which are full of references to this custom of touting, although it does appear in Lydgate’s ballad “London Lyckpenny,” written in the early 1400s. In that, we see shopkeepers at their doors trying to outshout one another to attract passers-by. The spice seller or grocer calls out to a man from Kent to come buy some spices, pepper, or saffron. In Cheapside, the merchants confuse him with their velvet, silk, and lawn, even pulling at him to show off their “Paris thread, the best in the land.” Throughout all of Canwick (now Cannon Street), he’s hassle by cloth merchants offering him fabric, and in other areas, especially East Cheap, the owners of food shops tempt him with calls of “Hot sheep’s feet, fresh mackerel, pies, and ribs of beef.” Eventually, he gives in to the enticing invitation of a tavern owner, who approaches him with a bow and, taking him by the sleeve, says, “Sir, would you like to try our wine?” in such a smooth and irresistible way that the Kentish man goes in and spends his only penny on that welcoming place. The famous old historian Stow believes this little story took place at the Pope’s Head in Cornhill, and he wants us to know that for his one penny, the countryman got a pint of wine—and “for bread he paid nothing, as it was free” in those good old days. Free snacks, although rare now, were often given out in the 17th and 18th centuries to regular customers; and the practice of providing food to those who buy drinks is still common in many parts of the United States. The “Lyckpenny” story is one of the few cases in early English literature that clearly mentions the custom of touting at shop doors, but, as mentioned, French fabliaux are filled with such references. In the story “Courtois d’Arras”—a version of the Prodigal Son set in the 13th century—Courtois finds the innkeeper yelling at his door, “Good wine from Soissons, six deniers for the lot.” And in a medieval mystery called “Li Jus de S. Nicolas,” the innkeeper stands on the threshold shouting that excellent dinners are available at his place, featuring warm bread, warm herring, and barrelfuls of Auxerre wine: “Céans il fait bon diner, céans il y a pain chaud et[50] harengs chauds, et vin d’Auxerre à plein tonneau.” In the “Trois Aveugles de Compiègne,” thirsty travelers hear the innkeeper announcing in the street that he has “good, cool, and new wine from Auxerre and Soissons; bread and meat, and wine and fish: come in for a good place to spend your money; there’s room for all kinds of people; here are good lodgings:”—

Here is good fresh and new wine. That of Auxerre, that of Soissons, Bread, meat, wine, and fish,
Céens are good at spending money,
Ostel is for everyone. Céens is a great host.

And in the “Débats et facétieuses rencontres de Gringald et de Guillot Gorgen, son maistre,” the servant, who would not pay his reckoning, excuses himself, saying, “The taverner is more to blame than I, for as I passed before his door, and he being seated at it as usual, called to me, saying, ‘Will you be pleased to breakfast here? I have good bread, good wine, and good meat.’” “Le tavernier a plus de tort que moy; car, passant devant sa porte, et luy étant assiz (ainsy qu’ils sont ordinairement) il me cria, me disant: Vous plaist-il de dejeuner céans? Il y a de bon pain, de bon vin, et de bonne viande.”

And in the “Debates and Funny Encounters of Gringald and Guillot Gorgen, his Master,” the servant, who refuses to pay his bill, defends himself by saying, “The tavern keeper is more at fault than I am, because as I walked past his door, and he was sitting there as usual, he called out to me, saying, ‘Would you like to have breakfast here? I have good bread, good wine, and good meat.’” “The tavern keeper is more to blame than I am; for as I was passing by his door, and he was sitting there (as they usually are), he shouted at me, saying: Do you want to have breakfast here? There’s good bread, good wine, and good meat.”

Other modes of advertising, of a less obtrusive nature, were, however, in use at the same time; as in Rome, written handbills were affixed in public places; and almost as soon as the art of printing was discovered, it was applied to the purpose of multiplying advertisements of this kind. We may fairly assume that one of the very first posters ever printed in England was that by which Caxton announced, circa 1480, the sale of the “Pyes of Salisbury use,”[18] at the[51] Red Pole, in the Almonry, Westminster. Of this first of broadsides two copies are still extant, one in the Bodleian Library, at Oxford, the other in Earl Spencer’s library. Their dimensions are five inches by seven, and their contents as follows:—

Other types of advertising, that were less intrusive, were also being used at the same time; in Rome, for example, written handbills were posted in public areas. Almost immediately after the printing press was invented, it was used to produce more advertisements like these. It’s safe to say that one of the very first posters ever printed in England was the one by Caxton that announced, around 1480, the sale of the “Pyes of Salisbury use,”[18] at the[51] Red Pole, in the Almonry, Westminster. Two copies of this first broadside still exist, one in the Bodleian Library in Oxford, and the other in Earl Spencer’s library. They measure five inches by seven, and the content is as follows:—

If it please ony man spirituel or temporel to bye our pyes of two or thre comemoracio’s of Salisburi use, emprynted after the form of this prese’t letre, whiche ben wel and truly correct, late hym come to Westmonester, into the almonestrye at the reed pole and he shal haue them good and chepe:

If anyone, whether a spiritual or temporal person, wants to buy our pies for two or three commemorations of the Salisbury tradition, printed in the format of this letter and properly corrected, they can come to Westminster, to the almonry at the red pole, and they will receive them at a good price:

Supplico stet cedula.

I ask for a note.

Foreigners appear to have appreciated the boon of this kind of advertising equally rapidly, although, from the fugitive nature of such productions, copies of their posters are rarely to be found. Still an interesting list of books, printed by Coburger at Nuremberg in the fifteenth century, is preserved in the British Museum, to which is attached the following heading: “Cupientes emere libros infra notatos venient ad hospitium subnotatum,” &c.—i.e., “Those who wish to buy the books hereunder mentioned, must come to the house now named,” &c. The Parisian printers soon went a step further. Long before the invention of the typographic art, the University had compelled the booksellers to advertise in their shop windows any new manuscripts they might obtain. But after the invention of printing they soon commenced to proclaim the wonderful cheapness of the works they produced. It did not strike them, however, that this might have been done effectually on a large scale, and they were content to extol the low price of the work in the book itself. Such notices as the following are common in early books. Ulric Gering, in[52] his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” 1500, allays the fear of the public with a distich:—“Don’t run away on account of the price,” he says. “Come rich and poor; this excellent work is sold for a very small sum:”—

Foreigners seem to have quickly recognized the benefits of this type of advertising. However, because these productions were so transient, copies of their posters are rarely found. Still, an interesting list of books printed by Coburger in Nuremberg during the fifteenth century is preserved in the British Museum, with the following heading: “Cupientes emere libros infra notatos venient ad hospitium subnotatum,” &c.—i.e., “Those who wish to buy the books mentioned below must come to the house now named,” &c. The printers in Paris took it a step further. Long before the invention of printing, the University required booksellers to advertise any new manuscripts in their shop windows. But after printing was invented, they quickly began to promote the amazing affordability of their works. They didn’t realize that this could have been effectively done on a larger scale, and they were satisfied to highlight the low price of the work within the book itself. Notices like the following were common in early books. Ulric Gering, in his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” 1500, reassures the public with a couplet: “Don’t be scared off by the price,” he says. “Come rich and poor; this excellent work is available for a very small sum:”

Don't flee because of the price: rich and poor alike, come. This excellent work is sold for a small amount of money.

Berthold Remboldt subjoins to his edition of “S. Bruno on the Psalms,” 1509, the information that he does not lock away his wares (books) like a miser, but that anybody can carry them away for very little money.

Berthold Remboldt adds to his edition of “S. Bruno on the Psalms,” 1509, that he doesn’t keep his books locked away like a miser; instead, anyone can take them home for just a small amount of money.

The greedy man does not close his store of wealth. With limited funds, you'll manage carefully.

And in his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” he boasts that this splendid volume is to be had for a trifling sum, after having, with considerable labour, been weeded of its misprints.

And in his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” he proudly states that this impressive volume is available for a small amount, having been carefully corrected of its typos after a lot of hard work.

This excellent little volume is available to you for a modest fee. Abstersum stains not without its own Mars.

Thielman Kerver, Jean Petit, and various other printers, give similar intelligence to the purchasers of their works. Sometimes they even resort to the process of having a book puffed on account of its cheapness by editors or scholars of known eminence, who address the public on behalf of the printer. Thus in a work termed by the French savant Chevillier, “Les Opuscules du Docteur Almain,” printed by Chevalon and Gourmont, 1518, a certain dignified member of the University condescends to inform the public that they have to be grateful to the publishers for the beautiful and cheap book they have produced:—“Gratias agant Claudio Chevallon et Ægydio Gourmont, qui pulchris typis et characteribus impressum opus hoc vili dant pretio.” This, be it observed, is the earliest instance of the puff direct which has so far been discovered.

Thielman Kerver, Jean Petit, and various other printers provide similar information to the buyers of their works. Sometimes they even have a book promoted for its low price by well-known editors or scholars who speak to the public on behalf of the printer. In a work referred to by the French scholar Chevillier as “Les Opuscules du Docteur Almain,” printed by Chevalon and Gourmont in 1518, a certain esteemed member of the University takes the time to inform the public that they should be thankful to the publishers for the beautiful and affordable book they produced: “Gratias agant Claudio Chevallon et Ægydio Gourmont, qui pulchris typis et characteribus impressum opus hoc vili dant pretio.” This, it should be noted, is the earliest instance of direct promotion that has been discovered so far.

Meanwhile, though the art of printing had become established, and was daily taking more and more work out of[53] the hands of scribes, writing continued to be almost the only advertising media for wellnigh two centuries longer. Like the ancient advertisement already noticed, that of Venus about her runaway son, they commenced almost invariably with the words “If anybody,” or, if in Latin, Si quis; and from these last two words they obtained their name. They were posted in the most frequented parts of the towns, preferably near churches; and hence has survived the practice of attaching to church doors lists of voters and various other notifications, particularly in villages. In the metropolis one of the places used for this purpose may probably have been London Stone. In “Pasquil and Marforius,” 1589, we read, “Set up this bill at London Stone; let it be done solemnly with drum and trumpet;” and further on in the same pamphlet, “If it please them, these dark winter nights, to stick up these papers upon London Stone.” These two allusions are, however, not particularly conclusive.

Meanwhile, although printing had become established and was increasingly taking over the work done by scribes,[53] writing remained almost the only form of advertising for nearly two centuries longer. Like the ancient advertisement mentioned earlier, about Venus and her runaway son, they almost always started with the words “If anybody,” or, in Latin, Si quis; and from these last two words, they got their name. These announcements were posted in the busiest parts of towns, especially near churches; and this practice led to the tradition of putting lists of voters and various notifications on church doors, particularly in villages. In the city, one of the likely locations for this was London Stone. In “Pasquil and Marforius,” 1589, we read, “Set up this bill at London Stone; let it be done solemnly with drum and trumpet;” and later in the same pamphlet, “If it pleases them, these dark winter nights, to stick up these papers upon London Stone.” However, these two references are not particularly convincing.

In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries the principal place for affixing a siquis was in the middle aisle of St Paul’s. From the era of the Reformation to the Restoration, all sorts of disorderly conduct was practised in the old cathedral. A lengthy catalogue of improper customs and disgusting practices might be collected from the works of the period, and bills were stuck up in various parts to restrain the grossest abuses. “At every door of this church,” says Weever, “was anciently this vers depicted; and in my time [he died in 1632] it might be perfectly read at the great south door, Hic Locus sacer est, hic nulli mingere fas est.”

In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, the main place to post a siquis was in the middle aisle of St. Paul’s. From the time of the Reformation to the Restoration, all sorts of disorderly behavior occurred in the old cathedral. A long list of inappropriate customs and disgusting practices could be gathered from the works of that time, and notices were put up in various spots to curb the worst abuses. “At every door of this church,” says Weever, “there was once this verse displayed; and in my time [he died in 1632], it could be clearly read at the great south door, Hic Locus sacer est, hic nulli mingere fas est.”

There were also within the sacred edifice tobacco, book, and sempstress’ shops; there was a pillar at which serving-men stood for hire, and another place where lawyers had their regular stands, like merchants on ’Change. At the period when Decker wrote his curious “Gull’s Horn-Book” (1609), and for many years after, the cathedral was the lounging place for all idlers and hunters after news, as well[54] as of men of almost every profession, cheats, usurers, and knights of the post. The cathedral was likewise a seat of traffic and negotiation, even pimps and procuresses had their stations there; and the font itself, if credit may be given to a black-letter tract on the “Detestable Use of Dice-play,” printed early in Elizabeth’s reign, was made a place for the advance and payment of loans, and the sealing of indentures and obligations for the security of the moneys borrowed. Such a busy haunt was, of course, the very best place for bills and advertisements to be posted.

There were also tobacco shops, bookstores, and seamstress shops within the sacred building; there was a spot where servants waited to be hired, and another area where lawyers set up their regular stands, similar to merchants in a marketplace. At the time when Decker wrote his interesting “Gull’s Horn-Book” (1609) and for many years afterward, the cathedral was a hangout for all sorts of idlers and news seekers, along with people from nearly every profession, including con artists, loan sharks, and unscrupulous characters. The cathedral was also a hub for trade and negotiations; even pimps and madams had their places there. According to a black-letter pamphlet on the “Detestable Use of Dice-play,” printed early in Elizabeth’s reign, the baptismal font became a location for taking out and repaying loans and for signing contracts and agreements to secure borrowed funds. Naturally, such a bustling spot was the perfect place for posting bills and advertisements.

No bonâ fide siquis has come down to us, but it appears that among them the applications for ecclesiastics were very common, as Bishop Earle in his “Microcosmographia,” published in 1629, describes “Paul’s Walke” as the “market of young lecturers, whom you may cheapen here at all rates and sizes;” and this allusion is confirmed by a passage in Bishop Hall’s “Satires” (B. ii. s. 5), in which also the custom of affixing advertisements to a particular door is distinctly noticed:—

No genuine siquis has survived to today, but it seems that requests for clergy were quite common. Bishop Earle, in his “Microcosmographia,” published in 1629, describes “Paul’s Walk” as the “market of young lecturers, where you can bargain for them at all prices and sizes.” This reference is supported by a line in Bishop Hall’s “Satires” (B. ii. s. 5), which also clearly mentions the practice of putting up advertisements on a specific door:—

Did you see before siquis posted on Paul’s church door? Are you looking for an available vicarage first? Who wants a religious leader that can serve, say,
Quickly read and fairly assess his monthly sermon,
And get married, and bury, and create Christian souls,
Head to the left side alley of St Poule’s.

But the siquis door was not confined to notices of ecclesiastical matters; it was appropriated generally to the variety of applications that is now to be found in the columns of a newspaper or the books of a registry office. Though no authentic specimens of the siquis remain, we are possessed of several imitations, as the old dramatists delighted in reproducing the inflated language of these documents. Thus, in Holiday’s “Technogamia” (1618), Act i. scene 7, Geographus sets up the following notice:—

But the siquis board wasn’t just for church-related announcements; it was used for all kinds of notices, much like what you’d find in a newspaper today or on the shelves of a registry office. Although no genuine examples of the siquis have survived, we do have several imitations, as the old playwrights enjoyed mimicking the grand language of these documents. For instance, in Holiday’s “Technogamia” (1618), Act i, scene 7, Geographus posts the following notice:—

If there be any gentleman that, for the accomplishing of his natural endowment, intertaynes a desire of learning the languages; especially[55] the nimble French, maiestik Spanish, courtly Italian, masculine Dutch, happily compounding Greek, mysticall Hebrew, and physicall Arabicke; or that is otherwise transported with the admirable knowledge of forraine policies, complimentall behaviour, naturall dispositions, or whatsoever else belongs to any people or country under heaven; he shall, to his abundant satisfaction, be made happy in his expectation and successe if he please to repair to the signe of the Globe.

If there's any gentleman who, to fulfill his natural potential, has a desire to learn languages—especially the lively French, majestic Spanish, sophisticated Italian, strong Dutch, complex Greek, mysterious Hebrew, and scientific Arabic—or who is excited by the remarkable knowledge of foreign customs, polite behavior, natural characteristics, or anything else related to any people or country on earth, he will be thoroughly satisfied and happy in his pursuit if he chooses to visit the sign of the Globe.

Again, Ben Jonson’s “Every Man out of his Humour” introduces Shift, “a threadbare shark,” whose “profession is skeldring and odling, his bank Paul’s.” Speaking of Shift in the opening scene of the third act, which the dramatist has laid in “the middle aisle of Paules,” Cordatus says that Shift is at that moment in Paules “for the advancement of a siquis or two, wherein he hath so varied himselfe, that if any one of them take, he may hull up and doune in the humorous world a little longer.” Shift’s productions deserved to succeed, as they were masterpieces of their kind, and might even now, though the world is so much older, and professes to be so much wiser, be studied with advantage by gentlemen who cultivate the literature of advertisements in the interest of certain firms. Here are some of his compositions, which would certainly shine among the examples of the present day:—

Again, Ben Jonson’s “Every Man out of his Humour” introduces Shift, “a worn-out hustler,” whose “job is scheming and hustling, his bank Paules.” Speaking of Shift in the opening scene of the third act, which the playwright has set in “the middle aisle of Paules,” Cordatus says that Shift is at that moment in Paules “for the sake of a siquis or two, where he has varied himself so much that if any one of them works out, he can keep going up and down in the humorous world a little longer.” Shift’s creations deserved to succeed, as they were masterpieces in their own right, and even now, although the world is much older and claims to be much wiser, gentlemen who promote the literature of advertisements on behalf of certain companies could still benefit from studying them. Here are some of his compositions, which would definitely stand out among the examples of the present day:—

If there be any lady or gentlewoman of good carriage that is desirous to entertain to her private uses a young, straight, and upright gentleman, of the age of five or six and twenty at the most; who can serve in the nature of a gentleman usher, and hath little legs of purpose,[19] and a black satin suit of his own to go before her in; which suit, for the more sweetening, now lies in lavender;[20] and can hide his face with her fan if need require, or sit in the cold at the stair foot for her, as well as another gentleman; let her subscribe her name and place, and diligent respect shall be given.

If there's any lady or woman of good character who wants to have a young, tall, and straight gentleman for her personal use, around the ages of twenty-five or twenty-six at most; who can act as a gentleman usher and has short legs on purpose,[19] and owns a black satin suit to wear while attending her; which suit is currently stored in lavender; [20] and can hide his face with her fan if needed, or sit in the cold at the bottom of the stairs for her, just like any other gentleman; she should provide her name and place, and she will receive the proper attention.

[56]

[56]

The following is even an improvement:—

The following is even an improvement:—

If this city, or the suburbs of the same, do afford any young gentleman of the first, second, or third head, more or less, whose friends are but lately deceased, and whose lands are but new come into his hands, that, to be as exactly qualified as the best of our ordinary gallants are, is affected to entertain the most gentlemanlike use of tobacco; as first to give it the most exquisite perfume; then to know all the delicate, sweet forms for the assumption of it; as also the rare corollary and practice of the Cuban ebolition, euripus and whiff,[21] which we shall receive or take in here at London, and evaporate at Uxbridge, or farther, if it please him. If there be any such generous spirit, that is truly enamour’d of these good faculties; may it please him but by a note of his hand to specify the place or ordinary where he uses to eat and lie; and most sweet attendance with tobacco and pipes of the best sort, shall be ministered. Stet quæso, candide lector.

If this city, or its suburbs, has any young gentleman of any status whose friends have recently passed away and whose estate has just come into his hands, and who wants to be as refined as the best of our usual socialites, is keen on enjoying the most gentlemanly use of tobacco; like first making it smell exquisite; then knowing all the delicate and enjoyable ways to enjoy it; as well as the unique experience and practice of the Cuban ebolition, euripus, and whiff, [21] which we can enjoy here in London, and let go at Uxbridge or further, if he desires. If there’s a generous spirit who truly appreciates these fine traits; please just drop a note to specify the place or establishment where he usually eats and stays, and the finest service with top-quality tobacco and pipes will be provided. Stet quæso, candide lector.

It is noticeable that most of these advertisements commence with the English equivalent for the Latin si quis, and furthermore that Ben Jonson concludes with the same formula as Caxton, stet quæso, imploring the “candid reader” not to tear off the bill. The word siquis is of frequent occurrence in the old writers. Green, for instance, in his “Tu Quoque,” says of certain women that “they stand like the devil’s siquis at a tavern or alehouse door.” At present the term has more particular reference to ecclesiastical matters. A candidate for holy orders who has not been educated at the University, or has been absent some time from thence, is still obliged to have his intention proclaimed, by having a notice to that effect hung up in the church of the place where he has recently resided. If, after a certain time, no objection is made, a certificate of his siquis, signed by the churchwardens, is given to him to be presented to the bishop when he seeks ordination.

It's noticeable that most of these advertisements start with the English equivalent of the Latin si quis, and that Ben Jonson ends with the same phrase as Caxton, stet quæso, urging the “candid reader” not to remove the notice. The term siquis often appears in older writings. For example, Green, in his “Tu Quoque,” describes certain women as “standing like the devil’s siquis at a tavern or alehouse door.” Nowadays, the term specifically relates to church matters. A candidate for holy orders who hasn’t been educated at the University, or has been away from it for a while, is still required to have his intention announced by posting a notice in the church of his recent residence. If no objections are raised after a certain time, he receives a certificate of his siquis, signed by the churchwardens, to present to the bishop when he seeks ordination.

At the time when the siquis was the most common form[57] of advertisement, other methods were used in order to give publicity to certain events. There were the proclamations of the will of the King, and of the Lord Mayor, whose edicts were proclaimed by the common trumpeter. There were also two richly carved and gilt posts at the door of the Sheriff’s office,[22] on which (some annotators of old plays say) it was customary to stick enactments of the Town Council. The common crier further made known matters of minor and commercial importance, and every shopkeeper still kept an apprentice at his door to attract the attention of the passers-by with a continuous “What do you lack, master?” or “mistress,” followed by a voluble enumeration of the wares vended by his master. The bookseller, as in ancient Rome, still advertised his new works by placards posted against his shop, or fixed in cleft sticks. This we gather from an epigram of Ben Jonson to his bookseller, in which he enjoins him rather to sell his works to Bucklersbury, to be used for wrappers and bags, than to force their sale by the usual means:—

At a time when the siquis was the most common type of advertisement,[57] other methods were used to promote certain events. There were proclamations from the King and the Lord Mayor, whose orders were announced by the common trumpeter. Additionally, there were two beautifully carved and gilded posts at the Sheriff’s office,[22] where (as some scholars of old plays note) it was customary to post Town Council decisions. The common crier would announce matters of lesser and commercial significance, and every shopkeeper would still have an apprentice at the door to catch the attention of passers-by with a constant “What do you need, sir?” or “ma’am,” followed by a rapid listing of the products sold by his master. Like in ancient Rome, the bookseller still advertised his new releases with placards posted on his shop or stuck in split sticks. This is evident from an epigram by Ben Jonson to his bookseller, in which he advises him to sell his works to Bucklersbury for use as wrapping paper and bags, rather than relying on the usual means:—

Nor have my little leaf on posts or walls,
Or in tight spots trying to make calls
For temp workers or some clerk-like servant.

Announcements of shows were given in the manner still followed by the equestrian circus troops in provincial towns, viz., by means of bills and processions. Thus notice of bearbaitings was given by the bears being led about the town, preceded by a flag and some noisy instruments. In the Duke of Newcastle’s play of “The Humorous Lovers” (1677), the sham bearward says, “I’ll set up my bills, that the gamesters of London, Horseleydown, Southwark, and Newmarket, may come in and bait him before the ladies. But first, boy, go, fetch me a bagpipe; we will walk the streets in triumph, and give the people notice of our sport.” Such a procession was, of course, a noisy one, and for that reason[58] it was one of the plagues the mischievous page sent to torment Morose, “the gentleman that loves no noise,” in Ben Jonson’s “Silent Woman.” “I entreated a bearward one day,” says the page, “to come down with the dogs of some four parishes that way, and I thank him he did, and cried his game under Master Morose’s window.” And in Howard’s “English Monsieur” (1674), William, a country youth, says, “I saw two rough-haired things led by the nose with two strings, and a bull like ours in the country, with a brave garland about his head, and an horse, and the least gentleman upon him that ever I saw in my life, and brave bagpipes playing before ’um;” which is explained by Comely as occasioned by its being “bearbaiting day, and he has met with the bull, and the bears, and the jack-an-apes on horseback.” Trials of skill in the noble art of self-defence were announced in a similar manner, by the combatants promenading the streets divested of their upper garments, with their sleeves tucked up, sword or cudgel in hand, and preceded by a drum. Finally, for the use of the community at large, there was the bellman or town crier, a character which occupies a prominent place in all the old sets of “Cries of London.” In one of the earliest collections of that kind,[23] engraved early in the seventeenth century, we see him represented with a bunch of keys in his hand, which he no doubt proclaims as “found.” Underneath is the following “notice:”—

Announcements of shows were made in a way that's still used by traveling circus groups in small towns today, specifically through posters and parades. For example, bearbaiting events were announced by leading the bears around town with a flag and some loud instruments. In the Duke of Newcastle’s play "The Humorous Lovers" (1677), the fake bear handler says, “I’ll put up my posters so that the gamblers from London, Horseleydown, Southwark, and Newmarket can come and bait him in front of the ladies. But first, boy, go grab me a bagpipe; we’ll parade the streets in celebration and let the people know about our entertainment.” As you can imagine, such a parade was very loud, which is why it was one of the annoyances the mischievous page sent to bother Morose, “the man who loves no noise,” in Ben Jonson’s "Silent Woman." “I asked a bear handler one day,” says the page, “to bring down the dogs from about four parishes that way, and I thank him he did, announcing his game under Master Morose’s window.” In Howard’s "English Monsieur" (1674), William, a country boy, says, “I saw two rough-haired creatures led by the nose with ropes, a bull like the ones we have back home, with a fancy garland on its head, and a horse, with the tiniest gentleman I’ve ever seen riding it, and some great bagpipes playing before them,” which Comely explains was because it was “bearbaiting day, and he encountered the bull, the bears, and the monkey on horseback.” Skill contests in self-defense were announced similarly, with the fighters walking through the streets without their shirts, sleeves rolled up, sword or stick in hand, and led by a drummer. Lastly, for the benefit of the entire community, there was the bellman or town crier, a figure prominently featured in all the old collections of "Cries of London." In one of the earliest collections of that kind, engraved in the early seventeenth century, we see him depicted with a bunch of keys in his hand, which he surely announces as “found.” Below is the following “notice:”

Oh yes. Any man or woman that
Can you share any news about a little 24-year-old maiden Years. Inform the crier. And you will be happy for your effort. And God’s blessing.

[59]

[59]

This was an old joke, which, more or less varied, occurs always under the print of the town crier. The prototype of this venerable witticism may be found in the tragedy of “Soliman and Perseda” (1599), where one of the characters says that he

This was an old joke, which, more or less varied, always appears under the notice of the town crier. The original version of this classic joke can be found in the tragedy of “Soliman and Perseda” (1599), where one of the characters says that he

had only sixpence For crying out loud, a little woman of thirty years old and up, She had lost herself between a tavern and a b——y house.

Notwithstanding the immense development of advertising since the spread of newspapers, the services of the bellman are still used in most of the country towns of the United Kingdom, and even in London there are still bellmen and parish criers, though their offices would appear to be sinecures. The provincial crier’s duties are of the most various description, and relate to objects lost or found, sales by public auction or private contract, weddings, christenings, and funerals. Not much more than a century ago the burgh of Lanark was so poor that there was in it only one butcher, and even he dared never venture on killing a sheep till every part of the animal was ordered beforehand. When he felt disposed to engage in such an enterprise, he usually prevailed upon the minister, the provost, and the members of the town council to take a joint each; but when shares were not subscribed for readily, the sheep received a respite. On such occasion the services of the bellman, or “skelligman,” as he was there named, were called into request, and that official used to perambulate the streets of Lanark acquainting the lieges with the butcher’s intentions in the following rhyme:—

Notwithstanding the massive growth of advertising since newspapers became popular, bellmen are still used in many small towns across the United Kingdom, and even in London, there are still bellmen and town criers, although their roles seem to be mostly ceremonial. The duties of the town crier vary widely and involve announcing lost or found items, public auctions or private sales, weddings, christenings, and funerals. Just over a hundred years ago, the town of Lanark was so poor that it had only one butcher, and even he couldn't afford to slaughter a sheep until every part of the animal was pre-ordered. When he was ready to take on such a task, he usually managed to get the minister, the mayor, and the city council members to each buy a share; but when people weren't quick to commit, the sheep got a stay of execution. On these occasions, the bellman, or "skelligman," as he was called there, would roam the streets of Lanark, informing the townspeople of the butcher's plans in the following rhyme:

Bell-ell-ell! There's a big sheep to slaughter!
A favor for the provost,
Another for the pastor,
The bailiffs and the deacons They'll take the next; And if we can't sell the fourth leg,
The sheep must leave and go back to the hill!

[60]

[60]

Sir Walter Scott, in one of his notes, gives a quaint specimen of vocal advertising. In the old days of Scotland, when persons of property (unless they happened to be nonjurors) were as regular as their inferiors in attendance on parochial worship, there was a kind of etiquette in waiting till the patron, or acknowledged great man of the parish, should make his appearance. This ceremonial was so sacred in the eyes of a parish beadle in the Isle of Bute, that the kirk bell being out of order, he is said to have mounted the steeple every Sunday to imitate with his voice the successive summonses which its mouth of metal used to send forth. The first part of this imitative harmony was simply the repetition of the words, “Bell, bell, bell, bell!” two or three times, in a manner as much resembling the sound as throat of flesh could imitate throat of iron. “Bellùm, Bellùm!” was sounded forth in a more urgent manner; but he never sent forth the third and conclusive peal, the varied tone of which is called in Scotland the “ringing-in,” until the two principal heritors of the parish approached, when the chime ran thus—

Sir Walter Scott, in one of his notes, shares a quirky example of vocal advertising. Back in the day in Scotland, when landowners (unless they were nonjurors) regularly attended local worship just like everyone else, there was a kind of etiquette to wait for the patron, or the recognized important person of the parish, to arrive. This ritual was so important to a parish beadle on the Isle of Bute that when the church bell was broken, he reportedly climbed the steeple every Sunday to mimic with his voice the series of calls that the metal bell usually made. The first part of this vocal imitation was just repeating the words, “Bell, bell, bell, bell!” two or three times, sounding as much like a bell as a human throat could. “Bellùm, Bellùm!” would be called out in a more urgent tone; however, he never delivered the third and final ring, known in Scotland as the “ringing-in,” until the two main landowners of the parish arrived, when the chime went like this—

Bellum Bellum, Bernera and Knockdow are coming!
Bellùm Bellèllum,
Bernera and Knockdow are coming!

A story is also told of an old Welsh beadle, who, having no bell to his church, or the bell being out of order, used to mount the tower before the service on Sundays, and advertise the fact that they were just about to begin, in imitation of the chimes, and in compliment to the most conspicuous patronymics in the congregation list, thus—

A story is also told of an old Welsh beadle who, not having a bell for his church or with the bell being broken, would climb the tower before the Sunday service and announce that they were about to start, mimicking the chimes and paying tribute to the most prominent last names on the congregation list, so—

Shon Morgan, Shon Shones,
Shon Morgan, Shon Shones,
Shon Shenkin, Shon Morgan, Shon Shenkin,
Shon Shones!

Continued à discretion. And with this most singular form of vocal advertising we will conclude the chapter.

Continued at one's discretion. And with this unique form of vocal advertising, we will wrap up the chapter.


[14] Glossary, cap. xxvii. “Wine-criers cry with open mouth the wine which is for sale in the taverns at four farthings.”

[14] Glossary, cap. xxvii. “Wine sellers shout loudly about the wine available for sale in the pubs for four pennies.”

[15] Chronicles of the Monk Alberic des Trois Fontaines, under the year 1235.

[15] Chronicles of the Monk Alberic des Trois Fontaines, from the year 1235.

All around here, they shout about wine at the rate Of thirty-two, sixteen, twelve, six, and eight.
To mention the other cries would waste our time—
They shout about old wine and new and invite you to try it.

[18] No savoury meat-pies, as some gastronomic reader might think, since they came from the county of sausage celebrity, but a collection of rules, as practised in the diocese of Salisbury, to show the priests how to deal, under every possible variation in Easter, with the concurrence of more than one office on the same day. These rules varied in the different dioceses.

[18] Not savory meat pies, as some food enthusiasts might think, since they originated from the famous sausage region, but a set of guidelines, as practiced in the diocese of Salisbury, to instruct priests on how to manage, in every possible scenario on Easter, the overlap of more than one service on the same day. These guidelines differed across various dioceses.

[19] Small calveless legs are mentioned as characteristic of a gentleman in many of our old plays, and will be observed in most full-length portraits of the sixteenth and seventeenth century.

[19] Slim legs without calves are often noted as a trait of a gentleman in many of our classic plays, and you can see them in most full-length portraits from the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries.

[20] To “lie in lavender” was a cant term for being in pawn.

[20] To “lie in lavender” was a slang term for being pawned.

[21] Tricks performed with tobacco smoke were fashionable amongst the gallants of the period, and are recommended in Decker’s “Gull’s Horn-Book,” and commended in many old plays. Making rings of smoke was a favourite amusement in those days.

[21] Tricks with tobacco smoke were trendy among the stylish people of the time, and they're suggested in Decker’s “Gull’s Horn-Book,” as well as praised in many old plays. Creating smoke rings was a popular pastime back then.

[22] See prints in “Archæologia,” xix. p. 383.

[22] See prints in “Archaeology,” vol. 19, p. 383.

[23] Vide Decker’s “Belman of London: Bringing to Light the most notorious Villanies that are now practised in the Kingdome.” London, 1608.

[23] See Decker’s “Belman of London: Exposing the most infamous crimes that are currently being committed in the Kingdom.” London, 1608.


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[61]

CHAPTER 5.
NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING PREVIEWED—ITS EARLIEST USAGE—HOUGHTON’S LESSONS.

By this time, and in various ways, the first transitory glimpses of a system at present all-powerful and universal began to show themselves—vague and uncertain, and often unsatisfactory, it must be admitted, but still the first evidences of the growth of an unparalleled institution; in fact, the base upon which the institution eventually reared itself. With improvements in printing, and the invention of movable type, the supply of pamphlets on current topics—the first rude forerunners of the newspaper as we understand it—began to be enlarged, and this opportunity was not lost on the bold spirits who even in those days could understand the advantages bound to accrue from a system of intercommunication at once advantageous to buyer and seller, and calling for special attention from both. There is a wonderful amount of attraction about these discoloured and moth-eaten papers, with their rude types and quaint spelling, which breathe, as much as do the words themselves, the spirit of a bygone age, and those who are so fond of praising past times might receive a valuable lesson from the perusal of these occasional publications, which are full of the spirit of an age when comfort, as we understand the word, was unknown to even the wealthy; when travelling was a luxury—a woeful luxury, it must be admitted—known only to those possessed of ample means, or others called forth on special or desperate[62] missions; when men lived long, and, as they thought, eventful lives, within a circle of half-a-dozen miles; and when the natural consequences of this isolation, ignorance and intolerance, held almost absolute sway over the length and breadth of the land. And in these old papers, as we get nearer and nearer to modern times, can be traced the gradual benefit which accrued from man’s intercourse with man, not only by the construction and improvement of roads, and the introduction of and competition among stage coaches, but by means of the subject of this work,—and very much by their means too,—advertisements.

By this time, and in various ways, the first fleeting glimpses of a system that is now all-powerful and universal began to emerge—vague and uncertain, often unsatisfactory, but still the initial signs of the growth of an unprecedented institution; in fact, the foundation upon which the institution eventually established itself. With advancements in printing and the invention of movable type, the availability of pamphlets on current topics—the first rough precursors of newspapers as we know them—began to increase, and this opportunity was not overlooked by the daring individuals who, even back then, recognized the benefits that would come from a system of communication that was advantageous to both buyers and sellers, and demanded special attention from each. There’s a fascinating appeal about these faded and moth-eaten papers, with their crude types and quirky spelling, which convey, just as much as the words themselves, the spirit of a bygone era. Those who love to praise the past might learn a valuable lesson from reading these occasional publications, which are infused with the essence of a time when comfort, as we understand it today, was unknown even to the wealthy; when traveling was a luxury—a somewhat grim luxury, it must be said—accessible only to those with substantial means or others sent on special or desperate missions; when people lived long, and as they believed, eventful lives within a radius of just a few miles; and when the resulting isolation led to ignorance and intolerance that held almost absolute sway across the land. And in these old papers, as we approach modern times, we can trace the gradual benefits that arose from human interaction, not only through the building and improvement of roads, and the introduction and competition among stagecoaches, but also through the subject of this work—and very much through their means too—advertisements.

As early as 1524, pamphlets or small books of news were printed in Vienna and other parts of Germany, but their publication was very irregular, and little or nothing is known of them beyond the fact of their being. It is not easy to determine which nation first found its way towards newspaper advertisements, but there is good reason to believe that France is entitled to the honour, so far as regular and consecutive business is concerned. The Journal Général d’Affiches, better known as the Petites Affiches, was first published on the 14th of October 1612. It obtained from Louis XIII. by letters-patent sundry privileges which were subsequently confirmed (1628 and 1635). Judging by the title of this publication, it would appear to have been an advertising medium, but this must be left to surmise, there being no opportunity, so far as we are aware, of inspecting the earliest numbers. Two centuries and a half have passed away since the first appearance of this periodical, and the Petites Affiches has neither changed its title, nor, it may be fairly presumed, the nature of its publicity. It is now the journal of the domestic wants of France; and servants seeking situations, or persons wanting servants, advertise in it in preference to all others. It is especially the medium for announcing any public or private sales of property, real or personal; and the publication of partnership deeds, articles of association[63] of public companies, and other legal notices, are required to be inserted in the Journal des Petites Affiches, which is published in a small octavo form.

As early as 1524, pamphlets or small news books were printed in Vienna and other parts of Germany, but their publication was very irregular, and there’s little known about them beyond their existence. It’s hard to say which nation first ventured into newspaper advertisements, but there’s good reason to believe that France deserves the credit, especially in terms of regular and consistent business. The Journal Général d’Affiches, better known as the Petites Affiches, was first published on October 14, 1612. It received various privileges from Louis XIII. through letters-patent, which were later confirmed in 1628 and 1635. From its title, it seems this publication served as an advertising medium, but that’s just an assumption since we have no way of checking the earliest issues. Over two and a half centuries have passed since this periodical first appeared, and the Petites Affiches has neither changed its title nor, presumably, the nature of its advertisements. It’s now the go-to journal for domestic needs in France; job seekers and employers prefer to advertise in it over any other options. It’s especially known for announcing public and private property sales, and the publication of partnership agreements, articles of association for public companies, and other legal notices must be included in the Journal des Petites Affiches, which is printed in a small octavo format.

The oldest newspaper paragraph approaching to an advertisement yet met with, is in one of those early German newsbooks preserved in the British Museum. It is printed in 1591, without name of place, and contains all the memorable occurrences of the years 1588 and 1589, such as the defeat of the Armada, the murder of King Henry III. of France, and other stale matter of the same kind; a curious instance of the tardiness with which news, whether good or ill, travelled in those times. Among the many signs and tokens which were then supposed to give warning of divine wrath at the general wickedness of mankind, was an unknown plant which had made its appearance in one of the suburbs of the town of Soltwedel. It grew in a garden amongst other plants, but nobody had ever seen its like. A certain Dr Laster thereupon wrote a book describing the plant, and giving a print of it in the frontispiece. “This book,” says the pamphlet, “which as yet is not much known, shows and explains all what this plant contains. Magister Cunan has published it, and Matthew Welack has printed it, in Wittemberg. Let whoever does not yet know the meaning of this [portend] buy the book at once, and read it with all possible zeal:”—

The oldest newspaper paragraph that resembles an advertisement is found in one of those early German newsbooks kept in the British Museum. It was printed in 1591, without a place name, and covers all the significant events of 1588 and 1589, like the defeat of the Armada, the murder of King Henry III of France, and other outdated news of that sort; a striking example of how slowly news, whether good or bad, spread during those times. Among the many signs and omens thought to signal divine anger at the general wickedness of humanity was an unknown plant that appeared in one of the suburbs of Soltwedel. It grew in a garden among other plants, but no one had ever seen anything like it. A certain Dr. Laster then wrote a book describing the plant and included an illustration of it in the front. “This book,” the pamphlet states, “which is not yet widely known, shows and explains everything this plant contains. Magister Cunan has published it, and Matthew Welack has printed it in Wittenberg. Anyone who doesn’t yet understand the significance of this [omen] should buy the book immediately and read it with great enthusiasm:”—

A strange change has occurred,
Von Soltwedel the Elder town,
Der Berber die Vorstadt genannt,
Found that no one knows. Grown in a garden, Bey other herbs is certain,
His visage and proper form,
Wird bald im Titel angezeigt,
A book about pride's flaws,
Welches is still very unknown Instructed and avoided, What the exchange holds within itself,
[64] Mag: Cunaw hats for the day
In Wittenberg, Matths Welack prints,
Who doesn't know the significance yet
Buy the book and read it with great attention.

Though this is an advertisement to all intents and purposes, still it is of the kind now best known amongst those most interested as “puff pars,” and is similar to those that the early booksellers frequently inserted in their works. It is therefore not unlikely that the book in question and the newsletter were printed at the same shop. Another, in fact, the earliest instance of newspaper advertising, is that of Nathaniel Butler; still this also only relates to books. The first genuine miscellaneous advertisements yet discovered occur in a Dutch black-letter newspaper, which was published in the reign of our James I., without name or title. The advertisement in question is inserted at the end of the folio half-sheet which contains the news, November 21, 1626, and, in a type different from the rest of the paper, gives notice that there will be held a sale by auction of articles taken out of prizes, viz., sugar, ivory, pepper, tobacco, and logwood. At that time there appeared two newspapers in Amsterdam, and it is not a little curious that Broer Jansz[24] occasionally advertised the books he published in the paper of his rival, which was entitled “Courant from Italy and Germany.” Gradually the advertisements become more frequent, the following being some of them literally translated. The first is from the Courante uyt Italien ende Duytschland of July 23, 1633:—

Though this is an advertisement for all intents and purposes, it's the kind most familiar to interested readers as “puff pieces,” and is similar to those early booksellers often included in their publications. So, it's not unlikely that the book in question and the newsletter were printed at the same shop. Another, in fact, the earliest instance of newspaper advertising, is that of Nathaniel Butler; however, this also only pertains to books. The first genuine miscellaneous advertisements discovered so far appear in a Dutch black-letter newspaper published during the reign of James I, with no name or title. The advertisement in question is found at the end of the folio half-sheet that contains the news from November 21, 1626, and, in a type different from the rest of the paper, announces an auction sale of items taken from prizes, such as sugar, ivory, pepper, tobacco, and logwood. At that time, two newspapers were published in Amsterdam, and it's quite interesting that Broer Jansz occasionally advertised the books he published in his rival's paper, which was titled “Courant from Italy and Germany.” Gradually, the advertisements became more frequent, with the following being some of them literally translated. The first is from the Courante uyt Italien ende Duytschland of July 23, 1633:—

With the last ships from the East Indies have been brought an elephant, a tiger, and an Indian stag, which are to be seen at the Old Glass house, for the benefit of the poor, where many thousands of people visit them.

With the last ships from the East Indies, an elephant, a tiger, and an Indian stag have arrived, and you can see them at the Old Glass House, where the proceeds go to help the poor, attracting thousands of visitors.

The Hollandsche Mercurius, which was issued more than two hundred years ago, showed great interest in English affairs, especially with regard to the Civil War. It was much inclined to the Royal cause; and when in 1653 Cromwell assumed supreme power, the above was issued as a title, and purported to show the various events which had recently passed in Great Britain.

The Hollandsche Mercurius, published over two hundred years ago, showed a strong interest in English matters, particularly concerning the Civil War. It leaned heavily towards the Royalist side; and when Cromwell took over in 1653, it was released under this title, claiming to highlight the significant events that had recently occurred in Great Britain.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ (440 kB)

[65]

[65]

The heirs of the late Mr Bernardus Paludanus, Doctor, of the City of Enkhuyzen, will sell his world-famed museum in lots, by public auction, or by private contract, on the 1st of August, 1634.

The heirs of the late Mr. Bernardus Paludanus, Doctor, from the City of Enkhuyzen, will sell his internationally renowned museum in pieces, either through a public auction or private sale, on August 1, 1634.

The two following are taken from the Tydinghen, the first appearing on May 27, 1634:—

The two that follow are from the Tydinghen, with the first one published on May 27, 1634:—

The Burgomasters and Council of the town of Utrecht have been pleased to found in this old and famous town, an illustrious school [university], at which will be taught and explained the sacred Theology and Jurisprudence, besides Philosophy, History, and similar sciences. And it will commence and open at Whitsuntide of this present year.

The Burgomasters and Council of the town of Utrecht are happy to establish a prestigious school [university] in this historic and well-known town, where sacred Theology, Law, Philosophy, History, and other similar subjects will be taught and discussed. It will begin and open on Whitsuntide of this year.

A few days after, on June 7th, the inauguration of this school is advertised as about to take place on the ensuing Tuesday. There is one instance of an advertisement from a foreign country being inserted in this paper; it runs as follows, and is dated June 2, 1635:—

A few days later, on June 7th, the opening of this school is announced to happen on the following Tuesday. There’s one case of an ad from a foreign country being included in this paper; it reads as follows and is dated June 2, 1635:—

Licentiate Grim, British preacher and professor at the University of Wesel, has published an extensive treatise against all popish scribblers, entitled “Papal Sanctimony,” that is, catholic and authentic proof that Pope John VIII., commonly called Pope Jutte [Joan], was a woman.

Licentiate Grim, a British preacher and professor at the University of Wesel, has released a detailed essay against all papist writers, titled “Papal Sanctimony,” which provides Catholic and authentic evidence that Pope John VIII, often referred to as Pope Joan, was actually a woman.

In England the first bonâ fide attempt at newspaper work was attempted in 1622, when the outbreak of the great Civil War caused an unusual demand to be made for news, and as the appetite grew by what it fed on, this unwonted request for information may be regarded as the fount-spring of that vast machine which “liners” delight to call “the fourth estate.” It was this demand which suggested to one Nathaniel Butler, a bookseller and a pamphleteer of twelve years’ standing, the idea of printing a weekly newspaper from the Venetian gazettes, which used to circulate in manuscript. After one or two preliminary attempts, he acquired sufficient confidence in his publication to issue the following advertisement:—

In England, the first genuine attempt at newspaper publishing happened in 1622, when the start of the great Civil War created an unusual demand for news. As people's hunger for information grew, this unexpected craving can be seen as the origin of what “liners” love to call “the fourth estate.” It was this demand that inspired Nathaniel Butler, a bookseller and pamphleteer with twelve years of experience, to print a weekly newspaper based on the Venetian gazettes, which had previously circulated in manuscript form. After a couple of initial attempts, he gained enough confidence in his publication to issue the following ad:—

If any gentleman or other accustomed to buy the weekly relations of newes be desirous to continue the same, let them know that the writer, or transcriber rather, of this newes, hath published two former newes, the one dated the 2nd and the other the 13th of August, all of which do carry a like title with the arms of the King of Bohemia on the[66] other side of the title-page, and have dependence one upon another: which manner of writing and printing he doth purpose to continue weekly by God’s assistance from the best and most certain intelligence: farewell, this twenty-three of August, 1622.

If any gentleman or anyone else used to buying the weekly news reports wants to keep receiving them, they should know that the author, or more accurately, the transcriber of this news, has published two previous reports, one dated August 2nd and the other August 13th. All of these have the same title with the arms of the King of Bohemia on the[66] other side of the title page and are related to each other. This style of writing and printing is intended to continue weekly, with God's help, drawing from the best and most reliable sources. Farewell, this twenty-third of August, 1622.

Like most innovations, this attempt met with an indifferent reception, and was greeted in the literary world with a shower of invective. Even Ben Jonson joined in the outcry, and ridiculed the newspaper office in his “Staple of News,” in which, among other notions, he publishes the paradox, as it now appears to us, that the information contained in the gazette “had ceased to be news by being printed.” Butler’s venture seems to have been anything but a success, and but for the fact that it gave rise to speculation on the subject of newspapers, and laid the foundation of our periodical literature, might, so far at all events as its promoter was concerned, never have had an existence. But the idea lost no ground, and newspapers began to make their way, though they did not assume anything like regularity, or definite shape and character, for nearly half a century. None of these precursors of newspaper history exceeded in size a single small leaf, and the quantity of news contained in fifty of them would be exceeded by a single issue of the present day.

Like many innovations, this attempt was met with indifference and was critiqued harshly in the literary world. Even Ben Jonson chimed in, mocking the newspaper office in his “Staple of News,” where he expresses the paradox that the information in the gazette “had stopped being news by being printed.” Butler’s effort seems to have been far from successful, and if it hadn't sparked discussion about newspapers and laid the groundwork for our periodical literature, it might have simply faded away along with its promoter. However, the idea continued to gain traction, and newspapers started to emerge, even though they didn’t take on any regular form or clear identity for nearly fifty years. None of these early examples of newspaper history were bigger than a single small sheet, and the amount of news in fifty of them would be surpassed by a single issue today.

What is generally supposed to be, but is not, the first authenticated advertisement is the following, the political and literary significance of which is apparent at a glance. It appears in the Mercurius Politicus for January 1652:—

What is commonly thought to be the first verified advertisement, but isn’t, is the following, the political and literary importance of which is clear at a glance. It can be found in the Mercurius Politicus for January 1652:—

IRENODIA GRATULATORIA, an Heroick Poem; being a congratulatory panegyrick for my Lord General’s late return, summing up his successes in an exquisite manner.

IRENODIA GRATULATORIA, a Heroic Poem; it's a congratulatory tribute for my Lord General’s recent return, highlighting his achievements in a remarkable way.

To be sold by John Holden, in the New Exchange, London. Printed by Tho. Newcourt, 1652.

To be sold by John Holden, in the New Exchange, London. Printed by Tho. Newcourt, 1652.

In this chapter we have no intention of giving any specimens beyond those which are striking and characteristic. In subsequent chapters we shall carry the history in an unbroken line to modern times, but our intention is now[67] to select special instances and specimens of particular interest, and so we pass on to what may be almost considered a landmark in the history of our civilisation and refinement, the introduction of tea. The Mercurius Politicus of September 30, 1658, sets forth—

In this chapter, we don't plan to present any examples beyond those that are striking and significant. In the following chapters, we'll continue the history seamlessly into modern times, but for now, we aim to highlight specific cases and examples of particular interest. So, we move on to what can almost be considered a landmark in the history of our civilization and culture: the introduction of tea. The Mercurius Politicus from September 30, 1658, states Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

THAT Excellent, and by all Physicians, approved, China drink, called by the Chineans Tcha, by other nations Tay alias Tee, is sold at the Sultaness Head Cophee-House, in Sweeting’s Rents, by the Royal Exchange, London.

THAT Excellent, and approved by all physicians, China tea, called Tcha by the Chinese, and Tay or Tee by other nations, is sold at the Sultaness Head Coffee House, in Sweeting’s Rents, near the Royal Exchange, London.

This announcement then marks an era; it shows that “l’impertinente nouveauté du siècle,” as the French physician, Guy Patin, called it in his furious diatribes, has not only made its advent, but is fighting its way forward. Patin is not without followers even in the present day, many people who would be surprised if accused of wanting in sense believing all “slops” to be causes of degeneracy. It must be observed that this is not the first acquaintance of our countrymen with the Chinese leaf—the advertisement simply shows the progress it is making—as tea is said to have been occasionally sold in England as early as 1635, at the exorbitant price of from £6 to £10 per pound. Thomas Garway, a tobacconist and coffee-house keeper in Exchange Alley, the founder of Garraway’s Coffee-house, was the first who sold and retailed tea, recommending it, as always has been, and always will be the case with new articles of diet, as a panacea for all disorders flesh is heir to. The following shop-bill, being more curious than any historical account we have of the early use of “the cup that cheers but not inebriates,” will be found well worth reading:—

This announcement marks a new era; it shows that “the outrageous novelty of the century,” as the French doctor Guy Patin called it in his furious rants, hasn’t just arrived, but is actively making its way forward. Patin still has supporters today, with many people who would be shocked if accused of lacking common sense, believing that all “slops” are causes of decline. It’s important to note that this isn’t our countrymen’s first encounter with Chinese tea—the ad simply highlights its growing popularity—as tea is said to have been occasionally sold in England as early as 1635, at a crazy price of £6 to £10 per pound. Thomas Garway, a tobacconist and coffee-house owner in Exchange Alley, who started Garraway’s Coffee-house, was the first to sell and serve tea, promoting it, as has always been the case with new food items, as a cure-all for all the ailments of humanity. The following shop bill, which is more interesting than any historical account we have of the early use of “the cup that cheers but doesn’t get you drunk,” is definitely worth reading:—

Tea in England hath been sold in the leaf for £6, and sometimes for £10 the pound weight, and in respect of its former scarceness and dearness it hath been only used as a regalia in high treatments and entertainments, and presents made thereof to princes and grandees till the year 1657. The said Garway did purchase a quantity thereof, and first sold the said tea in leaf or drink, made according to the directions of the most knowing merchants into those Eastern countries. On the knowledge of the said Garway’s continued care and industry in obtaining the[68] best tea, and making drink thereof very many noblemen, physicians, merchants, &c., have ever since sent to him for the said leaf, and daily resort to his house to drink the drink thereof. He sells tea from 16s. to 50s. a pound.

Tea in England has been sold in leaf for £6, and sometimes for £10 per pound. Because it used to be so scarce and expensive, it was only served at high-end events and given as gifts to princes and nobles until 1657. This Garway guy bought a bunch of it and was the first to sell tea leaves and tea drinks made according to the advice of the most knowledgeable merchants from those Eastern countries. Thanks to Garway's ongoing dedication to sourcing the best tea and making drinks from it, many nobles, doctors, merchants, and others have since come to him for the leaves and regularly visit his home to enjoy the tea. He sells tea for prices ranging from 16s. to 50s. per pound.

The opposition beverage, coffee—mention is made of the “cophee-house” in the “Tcha” advertisement—had been known in this country some years before, a Turkey merchant of London, of the name of Edwards, having brought the first bag of coffee to London, and his Greek servant, Pasqua Rosee, was the first to open a coffee-house in London. This was in 1652, the time of the Protectorate, and one Jacobs, a Jew, had opened a similar establishment in Oxford a year or two earlier. Pasqua Rosee’s coffee-house was in St Michael’s Alley, Cornhill. One of his original handbills is preserved in the British Museum, and is a curious record of a remarkable social innovation. It is here reprinted:—

The rival drink, coffee—mentioned in the "Tcha" ad—had been known in this country several years earlier. A Turkish merchant from London named Edwards brought the first bag of coffee to London, and his Greek servant, Pasqua Rosee, was the first to open a coffeehouse there. This happened in 1652, during the Protectorate, and a man named Jacobs, who was Jewish, had opened a similar place in Oxford a year or two before that. Pasqua Rosee’s coffeehouse was located in St. Michael’s Alley, Cornhill. One of his original flyers is kept in the British Museum and serves as an interesting record of a significant social change. It is here reposted:—

THE VERTUE OF THE COFFEE DRINK,
First made and publicly sold in England by
PASQUA ROSEE.

THE VIRTUE OF THE COFFEE DRINK,
First created and sold to the public in England by
PASQUA ROSEE.

The grain or berry called coffee, groweth upon little trees only in the deserts of Arabia. It is brought from thence and drunk generally throughout all the Grand Seignour’s dominions. It is a simple, innocent thing, composed into a drink, by being dried in an oven, and ground to powder, and boiled up with spring water, and about half a pint of it to be drunk fasting an hour before, and not eating an hour after, and to be taken as hot as can possibly be endured; the which will never fetch the skin of the mouth, or raise any blisters by reason of that heat.

The coffee bean grows on small trees only in the deserts of Arabia. It's brought from there and consumed widely throughout the Grand Seignior’s territories. It's a simple, harmless beverage made by drying the beans in an oven, grinding them into powder, and boiling them with spring water. About half a pint should be drunk on an empty stomach an hour before eating, and you shouldn't eat for an hour afterward. It should be consumed as hot as you can handle; it won't burn your mouth or cause any blisters because of that heat.

The Turk’s drink at meals and other times is usually water, and their diet consists much of fruit; the acidities whereof are very much corrected by this drink.

The Turks usually drink water with their meals and at other times, and their diet is mainly made up of fruit; the acidity of the fruit is greatly balanced by this drink.

The quality of this drink is cold and dry; and though it be a drier; yet it neither heats nor inflames more than hot posset. It so incloseth the orifice of the stomach, and fortifies the heat within, that it is very good to help digestion; and therefore of great use to be taken about three or four o’clock afternoon, as well as in the morning. It much quickens the spirits, and makes the heart lightsome; it is good against sore eyes, and the better if you hold your head over it and take in the[69] steam that way. It suppresseth fumes exceedingly, and therefore is good against the head-ache, and will very much stop any defluxion of rheums that distil from the head upon the stomach, and so prevent and help consumptions and the cough of the lungs.

The quality of this drink is cold and dry; and although it's drier, it doesn't heat or inflame more than a hot posset. It closes the opening of the stomach and strengthens the heat inside, making it very good for digestion; therefore, it's really helpful to have around three or four o'clock in the afternoon, as well as in the morning. It energizes the spirits and lifts the heart; it's good for sore eyes, especially if you lean over it and inhale the steam. It effectively reduces fumes, making it good for headaches, and it significantly stops any drainage of mucus from the head to the stomach, thus helping to prevent and alleviate consumption and lung coughs.

It is excellent to prevent and cure the dropsy, gout, and scurvy. It is known by experience to be better than any other drying drink for people in years, or children that have any running humours upon them, as the king’s evil, &c. It is a most excellent remedy against the spleen, hypochondriac winds, and the like. It will prevent drowsiness, and make one fit for business, if one have occasion to watch, and therefore you are not to drink of it after supper, unless you intend to be watchful, for it will hinder sleep for three or four hours.

It’s great for preventing and treating dropsy, gout, and scurvy. From experience, it’s recognized as the best drying drink for older adults or children with any lingering ailments, like the king’s evil, etc. It’s an excellent remedy for the spleen, hypochondriac winds, and similar issues. It helps avoid drowsiness and keeps you alert for work; so, don’t drink it after dinner unless you plan to stay awake, as it can disrupt your sleep for three to four hours.

It is observed that in Turkey, where this is generally drunk, that they are not troubled with the stone, gout, dropsy, or scurvy, and that their skins are exceeding clear and white. It is neither laxative nor restringent.

It is noted that in Turkey, where this is commonly consumed, people are not affected by kidney stones, gout, edema, or scurvy, and that their skin is very clear and white. It is neither a laxative nor astringent.

Made and Sold in St Michael’s Alley, in Cornhill, by Pasqua Rosee,
at the sign of his own head.

Made and sold in St Michael’s Alley, in Cornhill, by Pasqua Rosee,
at the sign of his own head.

In addition to tea and coffee, the introduction and acceptance of which had certainly a most marked influence on the progress of civilisation, may be mentioned a third, which, though extensively used, never became quite so great a favourite as the others. Chocolate, the remaining member of the triad, was introduced into England much about the same period. It had been known in Germany as early as 1624, when Johan Frantz Rauch wrote a treatise against that beverage. In England, however, it seems to have been introduced much later, for in 1657 it was still advertised as a new drink. In the Publick Advertiser of Tuesday, June 16-22, 1657, we find the following:—

In addition to tea and coffee, which definitely had a significant impact on the advancement of civilization, we should also mention a third beverage that, while widely consumed, never quite reached the same level of popularity as the others. Chocolate, the last of the trio, was brought to England around the same time. It had been known in Germany as early as 1624, when Johan Frantz Rauch wrote a treatise opposing that drink. In England, however, it seems to have been introduced much later, as in 1657, it was still being advertised as a new drink. In the Publick Advertiser of Tuesday, June 16-22, 1657, we find the following:—

IN Bishopsgate Street, in Queen’s Head Alley, at a Frenchman’s house, is an excellent West India drink, called chocolate, to be sold, where you may have it ready at any time, and also unmade, at reasonable rates.

IN Bishopsgate Street, in Queen's Head Alley, at a Frenchman's house, there is a great West Indian drink called chocolate available for sale. You can get it prepared at any time, or you can buy the ingredients to make it yourself, all at reasonable prices.

Chocolate never, except among exquisites and women of fashion, made anything of a race with its more sturdy opponents, in this country at all events, for while tea and coffee have become naturalised beverages, chocolate has always retained its foreign prejudices.

Chocolate never really competed much with its sturdier rivals, especially in this country. While tea and coffee have become everyday drinks, chocolate has always kept its foreign image, except among the elite and fashionable women.

[70]

[70]

In the Kingdom’s Intelligencer, a weekly paper published in 1662, are inserted several curious advertisements giving the prices of tea, coffee, chocolate, &c., one of which is as follows:—

In the Kingdom’s Intelligencer, a weekly newspaper published in 1662, there are several interesting ads listing the prices of tea, coffee, chocolate, etc., one of which is as follows:—

AT the Coffeehouse in Exchange Alley, is sold by retail the right coffee powder, from 4s. to 6s. 8d. per pound, as in goodness; that pounded in a mortar at 2s. 6d. per pound, and that termed the East India berry at 18d. per pound. Also that termed the right Turkey berry, well garbled at 3s. per pound, the ungarbled for lesse, with directions gratis how to make and use the same. Likewise there you may have chocolatta, the ordinary pound boxes at 2s. 6d. per pound; the perfumed from 4s. to 10s. per pound. Also sherbets, made in Turkie, of lemons, roses, and violets perfumed, and Tea according to its goodness. For all which, if any gentleman shall write or send, they shall be sure of the best, as they shall order, and, to avoid deceit, warranted under the house-seal—viz., Morat the Great. Further, all gentlemen that are customers and acquaintance, are (the next New Year’s day), invited at the sign of the Great Turk, at the new coffee house, in Exchange Alley, where coffee will be on free cost.

AT the Coffeehouse in Exchange Alley, you can buy high-quality coffee powder at prices ranging from 4s. to 6s. 8d. per pound, as well as the kind ground in a mortar for 2s. 6d. per pound, and the East India berry at 18d. per pound. Additionally, the premium Turkey berry, well cleaned, is available for 3s. per pound, while the uncleaned version is cheaper, with free instructions on how to prepare and use it. You can also get chocolatta, with regular pound boxes priced at 2s. 6d. per pound, and scented varieties costing between 4s. and 10s. per pound. Sherbets made in Turkey from lemons, roses, and violets are available, along with Tea based on quality. For those who order or write in, rest assured you'll receive the best as per your request, and to prevent any fraud, it's guaranteed under the house seal—namely, Morat the Great. Furthermore, all gentlemen who are customers and acquaintances are invited on the next New Year’s Day to the sign of the Great Turk, at the new coffee house in Exchange Alley, where coffee will be provided for free.

Leaving the enticing subject of these new beverages, we find that in May 1657 there appeared a weekly paper which assumed the title of the Public Advertiser, the first number being dated 19th to 26th May. It was printed for Newcombe, in Thames Street, and consisted almost wholly of advertisements, including the arrivals and departures of ships, and books to be printed. Soon other papers also commenced to insert more and more advertisements, sometimes stuck in the middle of political items, and announcements of marine disasters, murders, marriages, births, and deaths. Most of the notices at this period related to runaway apprentices and black boys, fairs and cockfights, burglaries and highway robberies, stolen horses, lost dogs, swords, and scent-bottles, and the departure of coaches on long journeys into the provinces, and sometimes even as far as Edinburgh. These announcements are not devoid of interest and curiosity for us who live in the days of railways and fast steamers; and so we quote[71] the following from the Mercurius Politicus of April 1, 1658:—

Leaving the tempting topic of these new drinks, we find that in May 1657, a weekly paper called the Public Advertiser was published, with its first issue dated from May 19th to 26th. It was printed for Newcombe on Thames Street and was mostly filled with advertisements, including ship arrivals and departures, as well as books to be printed. Soon, other papers also started including more and more ads, sometimes mixed in with political news and announcements of shipwrecks, murders, marriages, births, and deaths. Most notices during this time were about runaway apprentices and young boys, fairs and cockfights, burglaries and highway robberies, stolen horses, lost dogs, swords, and perfume bottles, along with the departure times of coaches for long trips into the countryside, and sometimes even as far as Edinburgh. These announcements provide a glimpse of interest and curiosity for us who live in the age of railways and fast steamers; so we quote[71] the following from the Mercurius Politicus of April 1, 1658:—

FROM the 26th day of April 1658, there will continue to go Stage Coaches from the George Inn, without Aldersgate, London, unto the several Cities and Towns, for the Rates and at the times hereafter mentioned and declared.

FROM the 26th of April 1658, there will be Stage Coaches departing from the George Inn, just outside Aldersgate, London, to various Cities and Towns, according to the rates and times stated hereafter.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

To Salisbury in two days for xxs. To Blandford and Dorchester in two days and half for xxxs. To Burport in three days for xxxs. To Exmaster, Hunnington, and Exeter in four days for xls.

To Salisbury in two days for xx shillings. To Blandford and Dorchester in two and a half days for xxx shillings. To Burport in three days for xxx shillings. To Exmaster, Hunnington, and Exeter in four days for xl shillings.

To Stamford in two days for xxs. To Newark in two days and a half for xxvs. To Bawtry in three days for xxxs. To Doncaster and Ferribridge for xxxvs. To York in four days for xls.

To Stamford in two days for xx dollars. To Newark in two and a half days for xx dollars and fifty cents. To Bawtry in three days for xxx dollars. To Doncaster and Ferribridge for xxx dollars and fifty cents. To York in four days for xl dollars.

Mondays and Wednesdays to Ockinton and Plimouth for ls.

Mondays and Wednesdays to Ockinton and Plimouth for ls.

Every Monday to Helperby and Northallerton for xlvs. To Darneton and Ferryhil for ls. To Durham for lvs. To Newcastle for iii£.

Every Monday to Helperby and Northallerton for 45 shillings. To Darneton and Ferryhill for 1 shilling. To Durham for 15 shillings. To Newcastle for 3 pounds.

Once every fortnight to Edinburgh for iv£ a peece—Mondays.

Once every two weeks to Edinburgh for 4 pounds a piece—Mondays.

Every Friday, to Wakefield in four days, xls.

Every Friday, to Wakefield in four days, xls.

All persons who desire to travel unto the Cities, Towns, and Roads herein hereafter mentioned and expressed, namely—to Coventry, Litchfield, Stone, Namptwich, Chester, Warrington, Wiggan, Chorley, Preston, Gastang, Lancaster and Kendal; and also to Stamford, Grantham, Newark, Tuxford, Bawtrey, Doncaster, Ferriebridge, York, Helperby, Northallerton, Darneton, Ferryhill, Durham, and Newcastle, Wakefield, Leeds, and Halifax; and also to Salisbury, Blandford, Dorchester, Burput, Exmaster, Hunnington, and Exeter, Ockinton, Plimouth, and Cornwal; let them repair to the George Inn, at Holborn Bridge, London, and thence they shall be in good Coaches with good Horses, upon every Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, at and for reasonable Rates.

All people who want to travel to the cities, towns, and roads mentioned below, namely—to Coventry, Lichfield, Stone, Nantwich, Chester, Warrington, Wigan, Chorley, Preston, Garstang, Lancaster, and Kendal; and also to Stamford, Grantham, Newark, Tuxford, Bawtry, Doncaster, Fairburn, York, Helperby, Northallerton, Darlington, Ferryhill, Durham, and Newcastle, Wakefield, Leeds, and Halifax; and also to Salisbury, Blandford, Dorchester, Burpitt, Exeter, Huntington, and Exeter, Ockington, Plymouth, and Cornwall; should go to the George Inn, at Holborn Bridge, London, and from there they will travel in decent coaches with good horses, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at reasonable rates.

Among the advertisements which prevailed most extensively in those early times, may, as has been remarked, be ranked those of runaway servants, apprentices, and black boys. England at that time swarmed with negro or mulatto boys, which the wealthy used as pages, in imitation of the Italian nobility. They were either imported from the West Indies, or brought from the Peninsula. The first advertisement of a runaway black page we meet with is dated August 11, 1659, but in this instance the article is advertised as[72] “lost,” like a dog, which is after all but natural, the boy being a chattel:—

Among the advertisements that were most common in those early days were those for runaway servants, apprentices, and Black boys. At that time, England was filled with Black or mixed-race boys, whom wealthy people used as pages, copying the Italian nobility. They were either brought in from the West Indies or brought over from the Peninsula. The first ad for a runaway Black page we come across is dated August 11, 1659, but in this case, the boy is advertised as[72] “lost,” just like a dog, which is, after all, quite fitting, as the boy was considered a property:—

A Negro-boy, about nine years of age, in a gray Searge suit, his hair cut close to his head, was lost on Tuesday last, August 9, at night, in St Nicholas Lane, London. If any one can give notice of him to Mr Tho. Barker, at the Sugar Loaf, in that Lane, they shall be well rewarded for their pains.

A Black child, about nine years old, wearing a gray serge suit, with his hair cut short, was lost last Tuesday night, August 9, in St Nicholas Lane, London. If anyone has any information about him, please let Mr. Tho. Barker know at the Sugar Loaf in that lane, and you will be generously rewarded for your help.

It is amusing to see, from this advertisement, that the wool of the negro found no grace in the eye of his Puritan master, who cropped the boy’s head as close as his own. Black boys continued in fashion for more than a century after, and were frequently offered for sale, by means of advertisements, in the same manner as slaves used to be, within recent years, in the Southern States of America. Even as late as 1769 sales of human flesh went on in this country. The Gazetteer, April 18, of that year, classes together “for sale at the Bull and Gate, Holborn: a chestnut gelding, a trim-whiskey, and a well-made, good-tempered black boy;” whilst a Liverpool paper of ten years later, October 15, 1779, announces as to be sold by auction, “at George Dunbar’s offices, on Thursday next, 21st inst., at one o’clock, a black boy about fourteen years old, and a large mountain tiger-cat.” This will be news to many blind worshippers of the ideal creature known as “a man and a brother.”

It’s funny to see from this ad that the Puritan master didn’t find the wool of the Black boy appealing, chopping his hair as short as his own. Black boys were still in demand for over a century after, often advertised for sale just like slaves were in recent years in the Southern States. As late as 1769, sales of human beings were still happening in this country. The Gazetteer from April 18 of that year lists “for sale at the Bull and Gate, Holborn: a chestnut gelding, a trim-whiskey, and a well-built, good-natured Black boy;” while a Liverpool newspaper from ten years later, October 15, 1779, announces an auction for “a Black boy about fourteen years old, and a large mountain tiger-cat” at George Dunbar’s offices next Thursday at one o’clock. This will surprise many who blindly idolize the ideal of “a man and a brother.”

Another curiosity of the advertisement literature of the seventeenth century is the number of servants and apprentices absconding with their masters’ property. Nearly all those dishonest servants must have had appearances such as in these days might lead to conviction first and trial afterwards. First of all, there is scarcely one of them but is “pock-marked,” “pock-pitted,” “pock-fretted,” “pock-holed,” “pit-marked,” or “full of pock-holes,” a fact which furnishes a significant index of the ravages this terrible sickness must have made amongst our ancestors, and offers a conclusive argument—though argument is unfortunately inadmissible among them—to those blatant and illogical[73] people, the opponents of vaccination. Besides the myriads who annually died of small-pox, it would, perhaps, not be an exaggeration to assume that one-fourth of mankind at that time was pock-marked, and not pock-marked as we understand the term. Whole features were destroyed, and a great percentage of blindness was attributable to this cause. Indeed, so accustomed were the people of those times to pock-marked faces, that these familiar inequalities of the facial surface do not appear to have been considered an absolute drawback even upon the charms of a beauty or a beau. Louis XIV. in his younger days was considered one of the handsomest men of France, notwithstanding that he was pock-marked, and La Vallière and some other famous beauties of that period are known to have laboured under the same disadvantage. This is a hard fact which should destroy many of the ideas raised by fiction. The following is a fair specimen of the descriptions of the dangerous classes given in the early part of the latter half of the seventeenth century, and is taken from the Mercurius Politicus of May 1658:—

Another interesting aspect of advertising literature from the seventeenth century is the number of servants and apprentices running away with their masters’ belongings. Almost all of these dishonest servants had appearances that would likely lead to a conviction today. Almost every one of them is described as “pock-marked,” “pock-pitted,” “pock-fretted,” “pock-holed,” “pit-marked,” or “full of pock-holes,” which highlights the devastating impact this terrible disease had on our ancestors and provides a strong argument—though such arguments are sadly not accepted among them—for those outspoken and irrational people who oppose vaccination. Beyond the countless individuals who died from smallpox, it might not be an exaggeration to say that about one-fourth of the population at that time was pock-marked, and not in the way we think of the term today. Entire facial features were ruined, and a significant amount of blindness was due to this disease. In fact, people of that era were so used to pock-marked faces that these familiar irregularities didn't seem to be a major flaw, even when it came to a person's beauty. Louis XIV, in his youth, was seen as one of the most handsome men in France, despite being pock-marked, and La Vallière and several other famous beauties of that time also dealt with the same issue. This is a hard fact that should challenge many preconceived notions created by fiction. The following is a typical example of the descriptions of the dangerous classes that were given in the early part of the latter half of the seventeenth century, taken from the Mercurius Politicus of May 1658:—

A Black-haired Maid, of a middle stature, thick set, with big breasts, having her face full marked with the small-pox, calling herself by the name of Nan or Agnes Hobson, did, upon Monday, the 28 of May, about six o’Clock in the morning, steal away from her Ladies house in the Pal-Mall, a mingle-coloured wrought Tabby gown of Deer colour and white; a black striped Sattin Gown with four broad bone-black silk Laces, and a plain black watered French Tabby Gown; Also one Scarlet-coloured and one other Pink-coloured Sarcenet Peticoat, and a white watered Tabby Wastcoat, plain; Several Sarcenet, Mode, and thin black Hoods and Scarfs, several fine Holland Shirts, a laced pair of Cuffs and Dressing, one pair of Pink-coloured Worsted Stockings, a Silver Spoon, a Leather bag, &c. She went away in greyish Cloth Wastcoat turned, and a Pink-coloured Paragon upper Peticoat, with a green Tammy under one. If any shall give notice of this person or things at one Hopkins, a Shoomaker’s, next door to the Vine Tavern, near the Pal-mall end, near Charing Cross, or at Mr Ostler’s, at the Bull Head in Cornhill, near the Old Exchange, they shall be rewarded for their pains.

A Dark-haired Maid, of average height, sturdy build, with large breasts, her face noticeably marked by smallpox, going by the name of Nan or Agnes Hobson, did, on Monday, the 28th of May, around six o’clock in the morning, steal away from her lady’s house in the Pal-Mall, a mixed-colored patterned Tabby gown of deer color and white; a black striped Satin gown with four broad bone-black silk laces, and a plain black watered French Tabby gown; Also one scarlet-colored and one pink-colored Sarsenet petticoat, and a plain white watered Tabby waistcoat; several Sarsenet, mode, and thin black hoods and scarves, several fine Holland shirts, a laced pair of cuffs and dressing, one pair of pink-colored worsted stockings, a silver spoon, a leather bag, etc. She left in a grayish cloth waistcoat turned inside out, and a pink-colored paragon upper petticoat, with a green Tammy underneath. If anyone provides information about this person or items at one Hopkins, a shoemaker’s next to the Vine Tavern, near the Pal-Mall end, close to Charing Cross, or at Mr Ostler’s, at the Bull Head in Cornhill, near the Old Exchange, they will be rewarded for their efforts.

In the same style was almost every other description; and[74] though embarrassed by the quantity as well as quality we have to choose from, we cannot pass over this bit of word-painting, which is rich in description. It is from the Mercurius Politicus of July 1658:—

In a similar way, nearly every other description follows; and[74] although we're overwhelmed by both the amount and quality to choose from, we can’t overlook this piece of vivid writing that offers a lot of detail. It's from the Mercurius Politicus of July 1658:—

ONE Eleanor Parker (by birth Haddock), of a Tawny reddish complexion, a pretty long nose, tall of stature, servant to Mr Ferderic Howpert, Kentish Town, upon Saturday last, the 26th of June, ran away and stole two Silver Spoons; a sweet Tent-work Bag, with gold and silver Lace about it, and lined with Satin; a Bugle work-Cushion, very curiously wrought in all manners of slips and flowers; a Shell cup, with a Lyon’s face, and a Ring of silver in its mouth; besides many other things of considerable value, which she took out of her Mistresses Cabinet, which she broke open; as also some Cloaths and Linen of all sorts, to the value of Ten pounds and upwards. If any one do meet with her and please to secure her, and give notice to the said Ferderic Howpert, or else to Mr Malpass, Leather seller, at the Green Dragon, at the upper end of Lawrence Lane, he shall be thankfully rewarded for his pains.

ONE Eleanor Parker (born Haddock), with a tawny reddish complexion, a fairly long nose, and tall stature, who worked for Mr. Ferderic Howpert in Kentish Town, ran away last Saturday, the 26th of June. She stole two silver spoons, a fancy tent-work bag adorned with gold and silver lace and lined with satin, a bugle-work cushion intricately designed with various slips and flowers, a shell cup featuring a lion's face and a silver ring in its mouth, as well as many other valuable items taken from her mistress's cabinet, which she broke into. She also took various clothes and linens worth ten pounds or more. If anyone encounters her and can secure her, please notify Ferderic Howpert or Mr. Malpass, a leather seller at the Green Dragon, located at the upper end of Lawrence Lane, and they will be gratefully rewarded for their efforts.

But besides the ravages of small-pox, the hue and cry raised after felons exhibits an endless catalogue of deformities. Hardly a rogue is described but he is “ugly as sin.” In turning over these musty piles of small quarto newspapers which were read by the men of the seventeenth century, a most ill-favoured crowd of evil-doers springs up around us. The rogues cannot avoid detection, if they venture out among good citizens, for they are branded with marks by which all men may know them. Take the following specimens of “men of the time.” The first is from the London Gazette of January 24-28, 1677:—

But aside from the damage caused by smallpox, the outcry against criminals lists countless deformities. Hardly a scoundrel is mentioned without being called “ugly as sin.” As I sift through these old piles of small quarto newspapers that were read by people in the seventeenth century, a truly unattractive group of wrongdoers emerges around us. These criminals can’t escape being recognized when they mix with good citizens, as they bear marks that everyone can see. Here are some examples of “men of the time.” The first is from the London Gazette dated January 24-28, 1677:—

ONE John Jones, a Welchman, servant to Mr Gray, of Whitehall, went away the 27th with £50 of his master’s in silver. He is aged about 25 years, of a middle stature, something thick, a down black look, purblind, between long and round favoured, something pale of complexion, lank, dark, red hair; a hair-coloured large suit on, something light; a bowe nose a little sharp and reddish, almost beetle brow’d and something deaf, given to slabber in his speech. Whoever secures the said servant and brings him to his master, shall have £5 reward.

ONE John Jones, a Welshman, who worked for Mr. Gray of Whitehall, left on the 27th with £50 in silver belonging to his master. He is around 25 years old, of average height, somewhat stocky, with a dark complexion, somewhat of an unusual appearance, slightly pale skin, lank dark red hair; he was wearing a light-colored suit. He has a somewhat sharp, reddish nose, almost a beetle brow, and is a little hard of hearing, often slurring his words. Anyone who finds this servant and returns him to his master will receive a £5 reward.

This portrait was evidently drawn by an admirer; and[75] it is with evident pleasure that the artist, after describing the “lank, dark, red hair,” and the suit like it, returns to the charge, and gives the finishing touches to the comely features. Here is another pair of beauties, whose descriptions appear in the Currant Intelligence, March 6-9, 1682:—

This portrait was clearly created by someone who admired the subject; and[75] the artist seems to take great pleasure in describing the “thin, dark, red hair,” and the matching suit, before returning to refine the attractive facial features. Here’s another pair of beauties, whose descriptions can be found in the Currant Intelligence, March 6-9, 1682:—

SAMUEL SMITH, Scrivener in Grace Church Street, London, about 26 years old, crook-backed, of short stature, red hair, hath a black periwig and sometimes a light one, pale complexion, Pock-holed full face, a mountier cap with a scarlet Ribbon, and one of the same colour on his cravat and sword, a light coloured campaign coat faced with blue shag, in company with his brother John Smith, who has a slit in his nose, a tall lusty man, red hair, a sad grey campaign coat, a lead colour suit lined with red: they were mounted, one on a flea-bitten grey, the other on a light bay horse.

SAMUEL SMITH, a scrivener on Grace Church Street, London, about 26 years old, has a hunchback, is short, has red hair, wears a black wig and sometimes a lighter one, has a pale complexion, a face with pockmarks, and is sporting a mountier cap with a red ribbon, as well as a matching red ribbon on his cravat and sword. He’s dressed in a light-colored campaign coat lined with blue shag. He is accompanied by his brother John Smith, who has a slit in his nose, is tall and sturdy, has red hair, and is wearing a worn gray campaign coat and a lead-colored suit lined with red. They are both mounted—one on a flea-bitten gray horse and the other on a light bay horse.

For powers of description this next is worthy of study. It is contemporary with the other:—

For its descriptive abilities, the next one is worth examining. It's from the same time as the other:—

WILLIAM WALTON, a tall young man about sixteen years of age, down-look’d, much disfigured with the Small-pox, strait brown hair, black rotten teeth, having an impediment in his speech, in a sad coloured cloth sute, the coat faced with shag, a white hat with a black ribbon on it, went away from his master, &c. &c.

WWILLIAM WALTON, a tall young man around sixteen years old, looked downcast, badly scarred from smallpox, had straight brown hair, black rotten teeth, and a speech impediment. He wore a sad-looking brown cloth suit, with the coat lined in shag, and a white hat adorned with a black ribbon. He left his master, etc. etc.

And so on, as per example; the runaways and missing folk—for all that are advertised are not offenders against the law—seem to have exhausted the whole catalogue of human and inhuman ugliness. By turns the attention of the public is directed to a brown fellow with a long nose, or with full staring grey eyes, countenance very ill-favoured, having lost his right eye, voice loud and shrill, teeth black and rotten, with a wide mouth and a hang-dog look, smutty complexion, a dimple in the top of his nose, or a flat wry nose with a star in it, voice low and disturbed, long visage, down look, and almost every other objectionable peculiarity imaginable. What a milk-and-water being our modern rough is, after all!

And so on, as in the example; the runaways and missing people—for all those who are advertised aren’t necessarily lawbreakers—seem to have exhausted the entire list of human and inhuman flaws. The public's attention is shifted back and forth between a guy with a long nose, or with big, staring gray eyes, an unattractive face, having lost his right eye, a loud and shrill voice, black and rotten teeth, a wide mouth, and a downcast look, a dirty complexion, a dimple on the top of his nose, or a flat, crooked nose with a star on it, a low and shaky voice, a long face, a downward gaze, and almost every other undesirable trait imaginable. What a pathetic creature our modern tough guy is, after all!

Dr Johnson, in a bantering paper on the art of advertising, published in the Idler, No. 40, observes: “The man who first took advantage of the general curiosity that was excited[76] by a siege or battle to betray the readers of news into the knowledge of the shop where the best puffs and powder were to be sold, was undoubtedly a man of great sagacity, and profound skill in the nature of man. But when he had once shown the way, it was easy to follow him.” Yet it took a considerable time before the mass of traders could be brought to understand the real use of advertising, even as the great Doctor understood it. Even he could hardly have comprehended advertising as it is now. The first man who endeavoured to systematically convince the world of the vast uses which might be made of this medium was Sir Roger L’Estrange. That intelligent speculator, in 1663, obtained an appointment to the new office of “Surveyor of the Imprimery and Printing Presses,” by which was granted to him the sole privilege of writing, printing, and publishing all narratives, advertisements, mercuries, &c. &c., besides all briefs for collections, playbills, quack-salvers’ bills, tickets, &c. &c. On the 1st of August 1663 appeared a paper published by him, under the name of the Intelligencer, and on the 24th of the same month the public were warned against the “petty cozenage” of some of the booksellers, who had persuaded their customers that they could not sell the paper under twopence a sheet, though it was sold to them at about a fourth part of that price. The first number of the Newes (which was also promoted by Sir Roger L’Estrange) appeared September 3, 1663, and, as we are told by Nicholls in his “Literary Anecdotes,” “contained more advertisements of importance than any previous paper.” Still, the benefit of the publicity which might be derived from advertising was so little understood by the trading community of the period, that after the Plague and the Great Fire this really valuable means of acquainting the public with new places of abode, the resumption of business, and the thousand and one changes incidental on such calamities, were almost entirely neglected. Though nearly the entire city had been burnt out, and the citizens must[77] necessarily have entered new premises or erected extempore shops, yet hardly any announcements appear in the papers to acquaint the public of the new addresses. The London Gazette, October 11-15, 1666, offered its services, but hardly to any effect; little regard being paid to the following invitation:—

Dr. Johnson, in a witty article about advertising published in the Idler, No. 40, notes: “The person who first took advantage of the general curiosity sparked by a siege or battle to lead news readers to the shop that sold the best puffs and powders was certainly very astute and skilled in understanding human nature. But once he showed the way, it became easy for others to follow.” Still, it took quite a while for most traders to grasp the real purpose of advertising, even as the great Doctor understood it. Even he wouldn’t have fully understood advertising as it exists today. The first person who tried to systematically convince the world of the vast potential of this medium was Sir Roger L’Estrange. That thoughtful entrepreneur, in 1663, got appointed as the “Surveyor of the Imprimery and Printing Presses,” which granted him the exclusive right to write, print, and publish all narratives, advertisements, news, etc., along with all briefs for collections, playbills, quack-salvers’ bills, tickets, etc. On August 1, 1663, he published a paper called the Intelligencer, and on August 24 of the same month, he warned the public about the “petty trickery” of some booksellers who had convinced their customers that they couldn’t sell the paper for less than twopence a sheet, even though it was sold to them for about a quarter of that price. The first issue of the Newes (which was also promoted by Sir Roger L’Estrange) was published on September 3, 1663, and, as noted by Nicholls in his “Literary Anecdotes,” “contained more significant advertisements than any previous paper.” Nevertheless, the value of advertising was so poorly understood by the trading community at the time that after the Plague and the Great Fire, this truly valuable way of informing the public about new places of residence, the resumption of business, and the countless changes following such disasters was almost entirely overlooked. Even though nearly the entire city had been burned down and citizens must have moved into new locations or quickly set up shops, there were hardly any announcements in the papers to let the public know of the new addresses. The London Gazette, from October 11-15, 1666, offered its services, but hardly to any effect; little attention was paid to the following invite:—

Such as have settled in new habitations since the late fire, and desire for the convenience of their correspondence to publish the place of their present abode, or to give notice of goods lost or found, may repair to the corner house in Bloomsbury, or on the east side of the great square [Bloomsbury Square] before the house of the Right Honourable the Lord Treasurer, where there is care taken for the receipt and publication of such advertisements.

Anyone who has moved to a new home since the recent fire and wishes to announce their current address for convenience in their correspondence, or wants to report lost or found items, can go to the corner house in Bloomsbury, on the east side of Bloomsbury Square, right in front of the house of the Right Honourable the Lord Treasurer. There, arrangements are made to receive and publish these advertisements.

Among the very few advertisements relating to those great calamities is the following, produced by the Plague, which is inserted in the Intelligencer, June 22-30, 1665:—

Among the very few advertisements about those major disasters is the following, created by the Plague, which is featured in the Intelligencer, June 22-30, 1665:—

THIS is to certify that the master of the Cock and Bottle, commonly called the Cock alehouse, at Temple bar, hath dismissed his servants, and shut up his house for this long vacation, intending (God willing) to return at Michaelmas next, so that all persons who have any accounts or farthings belonging to the said house, are desired to repair thither before the 8th of this instant, July, and they shall receive satisfaction.

THIM is to certify that the owner of the Cock and Bottle, often referred to as the Cock alehouse at Temple Bar, has let go of his staff and closed his establishment for this extended break, planning (God willing) to reopen at Michaelmas next. Therefore, anyone who has any outstanding accounts or coins related to the aforementioned establishment is encouraged to come by before July 8th, and they will receive compensation.

Relating to the Fire, the following from the London Gazette, March 12, 1672-73, was the notification:—

Relating to the Fire, the following from the London Gazette, March 12, 1672-73, was the notification:—

THESE are to give notice that Edward Barlet, Oxford carrier, hath removed his Inn in London from the Swan at Holborn Bridge to the Oxford Arms in Warwick Lane, where he did inne before the Fire. His coaches and waggons going forth on their usual days, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. He hath also a hearse, with all things convenient to carry a corpse to any part of England.

THESE are to inform you that Edward Barlet, an Oxford carrier, has moved his inn in London from the Swan at Holborn Bridge to the Oxford Arms in Warwick Lane, where he used to stay before the fire. His coaches and wagons will be departing on their regular days: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. He also has a hearse, along with everything needed to transport a body to any part of England.

There is not, however, a single advertisement relating to any of those temporary conveniences of every kind which invariably arise, as by magic, on any great and unusual emergency. Indeed, about this period, and for a long time after, the London Gazette, which was the official organ of the day, appeared frequently without a single advertisement; and till the end of the reign of Charles II., it was only very rarely that that paper contained more than four advertisements of a general kind, very frequently the number[78] being less. The subjects of these were almost exclusively thefts, losses, and runaways. Booksellers’ and quacks’ advertisements were, however, even then frequent in this paper; their announcements always preceded the others, and were printed in a different type.

There isn't, however, a single advertisement related to any of those temporary conveniences of all sorts that magically appear during any major and unusual emergency. In fact, around this time, and for a long while afterward, the London Gazette, which was the official publication of the day, often came out without a single advertisement; and until the reign of Charles II. ended, it was very rare for that paper to have more than four general advertisements, and often the number was less[78]. These ads almost exclusively dealt with thefts, losses, and missing people. However, book and quack advertisements were already common in this paper; their announcements always came first and were printed in a different typeface.

In 1668 Mr (afterwards Sir) Roger L’Estrange commenced the Mercury, or Advertisements concerning Trade, which does not seem to have answered, for it soon became extinct. Some years after, the now well-known scheme of issuing sheets of advertisements gratuitously, trusting for profit to the number of advertisers, was for the first time attempted. The paper started on this principle was called the City Mercury, and appears to have had a hard struggle for existence, since the publishers thought it necessary to insert in No. 52 (March 30, 1673) a notice of this tenor:—

In 1668, Mr. (later Sir) Roger L’Estrange launched the Mercury, or Advertisements concerning Trade, which didn’t quite succeed and quickly faded away. A few years later, the now-familiar idea of distributing sheets of advertisements for free, relying on the number of advertisers for profit, was attempted for the first time. The publication based on this concept was called the City Mercury, and it seems to have struggled to survive, as the publishers felt it necessary to include a notice in No. 52 (March 30, 1673) with this message:—

Notwithstanding this paper has been published so long, there are many persons ignorant of the design and advantage of it. And it every week comes to the hand of some, both in City and Country, that never see it before: For which reason the Publisher thinks himself obliged (that all may have benefit by it), to inform them that:—

Notwithstanding that this paper has been published for some time, many people are unaware of its purpose and benefits. Each week, it reaches some individuals, both in the City and the Country, who have never seen it before. For this reason, the Publisher feels obligated (so that everyone can benefit from it) to inform them that:—

1. He gives away every Monday above a thousand of them to all the Booksellers, shops and inns, and most of the principal coffee-houses in London and Westminster. Besides they are now sent to most of the cities and principal towns in England.

1. He gives away over a thousand of them every Monday to all the booksellers, shops, and inns, as well as most of the major coffee houses in London and Westminster. Additionally, they are now sent to most of the cities and major towns in England.

2. Any person that has anything to insert in it, as the titles of books, houses or land to be lett or sold, persons removing from one place to another, things lost or stole, physitians’ advertisements, or inquiries for houses or lands to be lett or sold, for places or for servants, &c., may bring or send them to the Publisher, Tho. Howkins, in George Yard, in Lombard Street, London, who will carefully insert them at reasonable rates.

2. Anyone who wants to include something, like the titles of books, houses or land available for rent or sale, people moving from one place to another, lost or stolen items, physicians’ ads, or requests for houses or land to be rented or sold, for jobs or for servants, etc., can bring or send them to the Publisher, Tho. Howkins, at George Yard, in Lombard Street, London, who will carefully place them at reasonable rates.

3. That this way of publishing is much more advantageous than giving away Bills in the street, is certain, for where there is one of them read, there’s twenty is not; and a thousand of these cannot be supposed to be read by less than twenty times the number of persons; and done for at least the twentieth part of the charge, and with much less trouble and greater success; as has been experienced by many persons that have things inserted in it.

3. It's clear that this way of publishing is much more beneficial than handing out Bills on the street, because for every one of those that gets read, at least twenty don’t; and it's likely that a thousand of these will be read by at least twenty times that number of people. Plus, it's done for about one-twentieth of the cost, with much less effort and greater success, as many people who have had content included in it can attest.

This paper lived but a short time; though the fact that[79] the proprietor undertook to furnish above a thousand copies per week to booksellers, shops, inns, and coffee-houses in London, and that it was sent to “most of the cities and principal towns in England,” clearly indicates that the trade began to be aware of the advantages to be derived from publicity. Soon afterwards a paper of the same denomination, but published by another speculator, was commenced. Its appearance and purposes were told to the public in the autumn of 1675 by circulars or handbills, one of which has fortunately been stored up in the British Museum. As this curious document gives a comprehensive outline of the system of newspaper advertising, as it appeared to the most advanced thinkers in the reign of Charles II., we reprint it here in extenso:—

This paper only lasted a short time; however, the fact that[79] the owner tried to provide over a thousand copies a week to booksellers, shops, inns, and coffee houses in London, and that it was sent to “most of the cities and major towns in England,” clearly shows that the industry was starting to recognize the benefits of publicity. Shortly after, a similar paper, but published by another entrepreneur, was launched. Its introduction and objectives were announced to the public in the fall of 1675 through circulars or handbills, one of which has fortunately been preserved in the British Museum. Since this interesting document offers a detailed overview of the system of newspaper advertising as it was understood by the leading thinkers during the reign of Charles II, we reprint it here in extensive:—

ADVERTISEMENT.

AD.

WHEREAS divers people are at great expense in printing, publishing, and dispersing of Bills of Advertisements: Observing how practical and Advantagious to Trade and Business, &c. this Method is in parts beyond the Seas.

WHEREAS many people are spending a lot of money on printing, publishing, and distributing advertisements: Noting how effective and beneficial this method is for trade and business, etc., in other countries.

These are to give notice, That all Persons in such cases concerned henceforth may have published in Print in the Mercury or Bills of Advertisements, which shall come out every week on Thursday morning, and be delivered and dispersed in every house where the Bills of Mortallity are received, and elsewhere, the Publications and Advertisements of all the matters following, or any other matter or thing not herein mentioned, that shall relate to the Advancement of Trade, or any lawful business not granted in propriety to any other.

This is to inform all interested parties that from now on, they can have published in print in the Mercury or Ads, which will be released every Thursday morning and distributed to every household that receives the Bills of Mortality, as well as other locations, the publications and advertisements of all the matters listed below, or any other issue not mentioned here, that relates to promoting trade or any legal business not exclusively permitted to anyone else.

Notice of all Goods, Merchandizes, and Ships to be sold, the place where to be seen, and day and hour.

Notice of all goods, merchandise, and ships for sale, the location where they can be viewed, and the date and time.

Any ships to be let to Freight, and the time of their departure, the place of the Master’s habitation, and where to be spoken with before and after Exchange time.

Any ships available for freight, along with their departure times, the Master’s residence, and how to contact them before and after exchange time.

All Ships, their Names, and Burthens, and capacities, and where their Inventaries are to be seen.

All ships, along with their names, sizes, and capacities, and where you can view their inventories.

All other Parcels and Materials or Furniture for shipping in like manner.

All other packages, materials, or furniture ready for shipping in a similar way.

Any Houses to be Let or Sold, or Mortgaged, with Notes of their Contents.

Any houses available for rent, sale, or mortgage, along with descriptions of their features.

Any Lands or Houses in City or Country, to be Sold or Mortgaged.

Any land or houses in the city or countryside that are for sale or available for mortgage.

[80]

[80]

The Erection, Alteration, or Removal of any Stage-coach, or any common Carrier.

The construction, modification, or removal of any stagecoach or any common carrier.

Advertisements of any considerable Bargains that are offered.

Advertisements of any significant deals that are available.

Any curious Invention or Experiment that is to be exposed to the Public view or Sale, may be hereby notified when and where.

Any interesting invention or experiment that is meant to be shown to the public or sold can be notified here regarding when and where it will take place.

Hereby Commissioners upon Commissions against Bankrupts may give large notice.

Hereby, Commissioners overseeing bankruptcy cases may provide extensive notice.

In like manner any man may give notice as he pleaseth to his Creditors.

In the same way, anyone can notify their creditors whenever they want.

Hereby the Settlement or Removal of any Publick Office may be notified.

Hereby, the establishment or closure of any public office may be announced.

Hereby all School-masters, and School-mistresses, and Boarding-schools, and Riding-schools or Academies, may publish the place where their Schools are kept.

Hereby, all schoolmasters, schoolmistresses, boarding schools, and riding schools or academies may announce the location of their schools.

And in like manner, where any Bathes or Hot-houses are kept.

And similarly, where any baths or saunas are maintained.

And the Place or Key at the Waterside, whereto any Hoy or Vessel doth constantly come to bring or carry Goods; as those of Lee, Faversham, and Maidstone, &c.

And the location or dock by the water, where any boat or ship regularly arrives to load or unload goods; such as those from Lee, Faversham, and Maidstone, etc.

AT the Office, which is to be kept for the Advertisements, any Person shall be informed (without any Fee) where any Stage-coach stands, where any common Carrier lies, that comes to any Inn within the Bills of Mortallity, and their daies of coming in and going out.

AT the Office, which is for Advertisements, anyone can find out (for free) where any stagecoach is located, where any common carrier is situated, that arrives at any inn within the Bills of Mortality, along with their days of arrival and departure.

In like manner all the accustomed Hoys or Vessels that come to the several Keys from the several Ports of England.

Similarly, all the usual boats or vessels that arrive at the various keys from different ports in England.

All Masters and Owners of the several Stage-coaches, and the Master-Carriers, and the Masters of all the Hoys and Vessels above mentioned, are desired to repair between this and Christmas day next, to the Office kept for the receipt of the Advertisements, to see if no mistakes be in their several daies and rates, that the said Books may be declared perfect, which shall be no charge to the Persons concerned.

All Masters and Owners of the various Stagecoaches, as well as the Master Carriers and the Masters of all the aforementioned Hoys and Vessels, are requested to visit the office responsible for receiving advertisements between now and Christmas Day next. They should check for any mistakes in their respective days and rates, so that the records can be finalized, which will incur no cost to the involved parties.

The Office or Place where any Person may have his desires answered in anything hereby advertised, is kept in St Michael’s Alley in Cornhil, London, right against Williams Coffee-house, where constant attendance every day in the Week shall be given, from Nine in the Morning, to Five in the Evening; to receive the desires of all Persons in matters of this nature, carefully to answer them in the same.

The place where anyone can get their needs addressed regarding the advertised services is located in St Michael’s Alley in Cornhill, London, right across from Williams Coffee-house. There will be staff available every day of the week from 9 AM to 5 PM to assist everyone with their inquiries in this regard and provide thoughtful responses.

With Allowance.
LONDON:
Printed by Andrew Clark, in Aldersgate Street, 1675.

With Permission.
LONDON:
Printed by Andrew Clark, on Aldersgate Street, 1675.

In accordance with this prospectus, the first number of the City Mercury appeared November 4, 1675.

In line with this prospectus, the first edition of the City Mercury was published on November 4, 1675.

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We, who are familiar with the thousand and one tricks resorted to by traders in order to attract attention to their advertisements, may be apt to ridicule the artless manner in which these notices were brought before the public of the seventeenth century. Different types, dividing lines, woodcuts, and other contrivances to catch the wandering eye, were still unknown; and frequently all the advertisements were set forth in one string, without a single break, or even full stop, as in the subjoined specimen from the Loyal Impartial Mercury, November 14-17, 1681:—

We, who know all the tricks that traders use to grab attention for their ads, might find it easy to laugh at how simply these notices were presented to the public in the seventeenth century. Different fonts, dividing lines, illustrations, and other methods to catch the eye weren't yet a thing; often, all the ads were listed in one long sentence, without any breaks or even periods, as shown in the example from the Loyal Impartial Mercury, November 14-17, 1681:—

THE House in the Strand wherein the Morocco Embassador lately resided is to be let, furnished or unfurnished, intirely or in several parts; a house in Marklane fit for a marchant; also very good lodgings not far from the Royal Exchange, fit for any marchant or gentleman to be let, inquire at the North West corner of the Royal Exchange, and there you may know further; inquiry is made at the said office for places to be Stewards of courts, liberties or franchises, or any office at law, or places to be auditor, or receiver, or steward of the household, or gentleman of horse to any nobleman or gentleman; or places to be clarks to brew-houses, or wharfs, or suchlike; also any person that is willing to buy or sell any estates, annuities, or mortgages, or let, or take any house, or borrow money upon the bottom of ships, may be accommodated at the said office.

Text not provided. THE house on the Strand where the Moroccan Ambassador recently lived is available for rent, either furnished or unfurnished, entirely or in parts; there’s also a good house in Mark Lane suitable for a merchant; additionally, there are great lodgings close to the Royal Exchange, ideal for any merchant or gentleman available for rent. For more information, inquire at the northwest corner of the Royal Exchange. This office also accepts inquiries for positions as stewards of courts, liberties, or franchises, as well as any legal office, auditor, receiver, household steward, or gentleman of horse to any nobleman or gentleman; they’re also looking for clerks for brew houses, wharfs, or similar roles. Anyone interested in buying or selling estates, annuities, or mortgages, renting or leasing any house, or borrowing money against ships can be assisted at this office.

Conciseness was of course necessary when it is recollected that the paper was only a folio half-sheet, though the news was so scanty that the few advertisements were a boon to the reader, and were sure to be read. This was an advantage peculiar to the early advertisers. So long as the papers were small, and the advertisements few in number, the trade announcements were almost more interesting than the news. But when the papers increased in bulk, and advertisements became common, it behoved those who wished to attract special attention to resort to contrivances which would distinguish them from the surrounding crowd of competitors.

Conciseness was definitely essential, especially considering that the paper was just a half-sheet folio. The news was so limited that the few advertisements were a welcome addition for readers and were sure to be noticed. This was a unique advantage for early advertisers. As long as the papers were small and the ads were limited, the trade announcements were often more engaging than the actual news. However, when the papers grew in size and ads became more frequent, those who wanted to stand out needed to find ways to differentiate themselves from the crowded competition.

The editor of the London Mercury, in 1681, evidently with an eye to making his paper a property on the best of[82] all principles, requests all those who have houses for sale to advertise in his columns, “where,” says he, “farther care will be taken for their disposal than the bare publishing them, by persons who make it their business.” Consequently we frequently meet in this paper with notices of “A delicate House to lett,” agreeably varied with advertisements concerning spruce beer, scurvy grass, Daffy’s elixir, and other specifics. Notwithstanding that the utility of advertising as a means of obtaining publicity was as yet hardly understood, the form of an advertisement, according to modern plans, was, it is curious to observe, frequently adopted at this period to expose sentiments in a veiled manner, or to call attention to public grievances. Thus, for instance, the first numbers of the Heraclitus Ridens, published in 1681, during the effervescence of the Popish plots, contained almost daily one or more of these political satires, of which the following may serve as examples. The first appears February 4.

The editor of the London Mercury in 1681 clearly aimed to make his paper a valuable asset. He invited anyone with houses for sale to advertise in his columns, stating, “where,” as he puts it, “more care will be taken for their sale than just publishing them, by people who make it their job.” As a result, this paper often featured notices for “A delicate House to lett,” mixed with ads for spruce beer, scurvy grass, Daffy’s elixir, and other remedies. Even though the value of advertising for gaining visibility was not yet fully recognized, it's interesting to note that the format of an advertisement, as per modern standards, was often used at this time to subtly express opinions or highlight public issues. For example, the early issues of the Heraclitus Ridens, published in 1681 during the turmoil of the Popish plots, included political satires almost daily, one of which appears on February 4.

IF any person out of natural curiosity desire to be furnished with ships or castles in the air, or any sorts of prodigies, apparitions, or strange sights, the better to fright people out of their senses, and by persuading them there are strange judgments, changes, and revolutions hanging over their heads, thereby to persuade them to pull them down by discontents, fears, jealousies, and seditions; let them repair to Ben Harris, at his shop near the Royal Exchange, where they may be furnished with all sorts and sizes of them, at very cheap and easy rates.

IF anyone is naturally curious and wants to get their hands on ships, castles in the air, or any kind of wonders, ghosts, or bizarre sights to scare people out of their minds, and by convincing them that strange judgments, changes, and upheavals are looming over them, making them act out of discontent, fear, jealousy, and rebellion; they should visit Ben Harris at his shop near the Royal Exchange, where they can find all kinds and sizes of these things at very affordable prices.

There is also to be seen the strange egg with the comet in it which was laid at Rome, but sent from his Holiness to the said Ben, to make reparations for his damages sustained, and as a mark of esteem for his zeal and sufferings in promoting discord among the English hereticks, and sowing the seeds of sedition among the citizens of London.

There’s also the strange egg with the comet in it that was laid in Rome, but sent from His Holiness to the said Ben, to make up for the damages he suffered, and as a sign of respect for his passion and sacrifices in stirring up trouble among the English heretics and spreading discord among the citizens of London.

The edition of February 15 contains the following:—

The edition from February 15 includes the following:—

IF any protestant dissenter desire this spring time to be furnished with sedition seeds, or the true protestant rue, which they call “herb of grace,” or any other hopeful plants of rebellion, let them repair to the famous French gardeners Monsieur F. Smith, Msr. L. Curtis, and Msr. B. Harris; where they may have not only of all the kinds which grew[83] in the garden of the late keepers of the liberty of England; but much new variety raised by the art and industry of the said gardeners, with directions in print when to sow them, and how to cultivate them when they are raised.

IF any Protestant dissenter wants to stock up this spring with seeds of rebellion, or the true Protestant rue, referred to as “herb of grace,” or any other promising plants for uprising, they should visit the renowned French gardeners Monsieur F. Smith, Msr. L. Curtis, and Msr. B. Harris; where they can find all the varieties that once flourished in the garden of the late guardians of England's freedom, as well as many new kinds developed through the skill and efforts of these gardeners, complete with printed instructions on when to plant them and how to care for them as they grow.

You may also have there either green or pickled sallads of rumours and reports, far more grateful to the palate, or over a glass of wine, than your French Champignons or mushrooms, Popish Olives, or Eastland Gherkins.

You can also have either fresh or pickled salads of rumors and reports, much more pleasant to the taste, or over a glass of wine, than your French mushrooms, Catholic olives, or Eastern gherkins.

And on March 1 there was given to the world:—

And on March 1, the world received:—

A MOST ingenious monkey, who can both write, read, and speak as good sense as his master, nursed in the kitchen of the late Commonwealth, and when they broke up housekeeping entertained by Nol Protector, may be seen do all his old tricks over again, for pence apiece, every Wednesday, at his new master’s, Ben. Harris, in Cornhill.

A Most clever monkey, who can write, read, and speak just as well as his owner, raised in the kitchen of the former Commonwealth, and when they stopped their household, entertained by Nol Protector, can be seen performing all his old tricks again, for a few pennies each, every Wednesday, at his new owner’s, Ben. Harris, in Cornhill.

This was a species of wit similar to that associated with the imaginary signs adopted in books with secret imprints, in order to express certain political notions, the sentiments of which were embodied in the work; for instance, a pamphlet just before the outbreak of the Civil War is called, “Vox Borealis, or a Northerne Discoverie, etc. Printed by Margery Marprelate, amidst the Babylonians, in Thwack Coat Lane, at the sign of the Crab Tree Cudgell, without any privilege of the Catercaps.”

This kind of wit was similar to that found in books with secret symbols used to convey specific political ideas that were represented in the work; for example, a pamphlet published just before the Civil War is titled, “Vox Borealis, or a Northerne Discoverie, etc. Printed by Margery Marprelate, amidst the Babylonians, in Thwack Coat Lane, at the sign of the Crab Tree Cudgell, without any privilege of the Catercaps.”

One John Houghton, F.R.S., who combined the business of apothecary with that of dealer in tea, coffee, and chocolate, in Bartholomew Lane, commenced a paper in 1682, entitled A Collection for the Improvement of Husbandry and Trade,[25] which continued to be issued weekly for some time; and though it failed, it was revived again on March 30, 1692. It was modelled on the same plan as the City Mercury of 1675, and was rather ambitious in its views. It consisted of one folio half-sheet, and was intended to “lay out for a large[84] correspondence, and for the advantage of tenant, landlord, corn merchant, mealman, baker, brewer, feeder of cattle, farmer, maltster, buyer and seller of coals, hop merchant, soap merchant, tallow chandler, wood merchant, their customers,” &c. But no advertisements proper were mentioned at first; it was a mere bulletin or price-current of the above-named trades and of auctions, besides shipping news and the bills of mortality. The first advertisement appeared in the third number, it was a “book-ad,” and figured there all by itself; and it was not till the 8th of June that the second advertisement appeared, which assumed the following shape:—

One John Houghton, F.R.S., who mixed the work of an apothecary with selling tea, coffee, and chocolate on Bartholomew Lane, started a publication in 1682 called A Collection for the Improvement of Husbandry and Trade,[25] which was released weekly for a while; although it initially failed, it was brought back on March 30, 1692. It was based on the same concept as the City Mercury from 1675 and had quite ambitious objectives. It consisted of one folio half-sheet and was meant to “provide a broad platform for communication and benefit for tenants, landlords, corn merchants, mealmen, bakers, brewers, cattle feeders, farmers, maltsters, coal buyers and sellers, hop merchants, soap merchants, tallow chandlers, wood merchants, and their customers,” etc. However, no real advertisements were included at first; it was just a bulletin or price list for those trades, along with auction news, shipping updates, and mortality rates. The first advertisement showed up in the third issue; it was a “book-ad” and appeared alone; it wasn’t until June 8 that the second advertisement was published, which took the followingshape:—

FOR the further and better Improvement of Husbandry and Trade and for the Encouragement thereof, especially in Middlesex and the bordering counties, a Person, now at my house in Bartholomew Lane, does undertake to make or procure made, as good malt of the barley of these counties, and of that Malt as good Ale as is made at Derby, Nottingham, or any other place now famous for that liquor, and that upon such reasonable terms as shall be to general satisfaction, the extraordinary charge not amounting to above one penny per bushel more than that is now; only thus much I must advise, if provision be not made speedily, the opportunity will be lost for the next malting time.

FOR the further and better improvement of farming and trade, and to encourage it, especially in Middlesex and the surrounding counties, a person currently at my house on Bartholomew Lane is willing to make or arrange for the production of high-quality malt from the barley grown in these counties, and from that malt, he will produce ale as good as what’s made in Derby, Nottingham, or any other place known for that drink. This will be offered at reasonable terms that are generally satisfactory, with the extra cost not exceeding one penny per bushel more than the current price. However, I must advise that if action isn't taken quickly, the chance will be missed for the next malting season.

Under the fostering influence of Houghton, who appears to have been keenly aware of the advantage to be derived from this manner of obtaining publicity, advertisements of every kind began gradually to appear, and ere long the booksellers, who for some time had monopolised this paper, were pushed aside by the other trades; and so the attention of the public is by turns directed to blacking balls, tapestry hangings, spectacles, writing ink, coffins, copper and brass work, &c. &c.; and these notices increased so rapidly that, added to No. 52, which appeared on July 28, 1693, there is a half-sheet of advertisements, which is introduced to the public with the following curious notice:—

Under the guiding influence of Houghton, who seemed to understand the benefits of gaining attention this way, advertisements of all kinds started to show up gradually. Before long, the booksellers, who had monopolized this space for a while, were pushed aside by other businesses. As a result, the public's attention was directed toward blacking balls, tapestry hangings, glasses, writing ink, coffins, copper and brass items, and more. These announcements grew so quickly that, in addition to No. 52, which was published on July 28, 1693, there was a half-sheet of advertisements introduced to the public with the following interesting notice:—

My Collection I shall carry on as usual. This part is to give away, and those who like it not, may omit the reading. I believe it will help[85] on Trade, particularly encourage the advertisers to increase the vent of my papers. I shall receive all sorts of advertisements, but shall answer for the reasonableness of none, unless I give thereof a particular character on which (as I shall give it) may be dependance, but no argument that others deserve not as well. I am informed that seven or eight thousand gazettes are each time printed, which makes them the most universal Intelligencers; but I’ll suppose mine their first handmaid, because it goes (though not so thick yet) to most parts: It’s also lasting to be put into Volumes with indexes, and particularly there shall be an index of all the advertisements, whereby, for ages to come, they may be useful.

My Collection will continue as usual. This section is meant to be shared, and if anyone doesn’t like it, they can skip the reading. I believe it will benefit trade, especially by encouraging advertisers to boost the circulation of my papers. I will accept all kinds of advertisements, but I won’t vouch for the accuracy of any unless I specifically endorse them, which I will do; however, that doesn’t mean others aren’t equally deserving. I’ve been informed that seven or eight thousand gazettes are printed each time, making them the most widespread sources of information. Still, I’ll assume mine is their primary supporter because it reaches (though not as widely yet) the majority of areas. It's also designed to be compiled into volumes with indexes, and there will be a specific index for all the advertisements, ensuring they remain useful for years to come.

This first sheet consists solely of advertisements about newly published books, but it concludes:—

This first page is all about ads for newly released books, but it finishes with:

Whither ’tis worth while to give an account of ships sent in for lading or ships arrived, with the like for coaches and carriers; or to give notice of approaching fairs, and what commodities are chiefly sold there, I must submit to the judgment of those concerned.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. ☞ Where it's worth sharing information about ships that have come in for loading or ships that have arrived, along with details about coaches and carriers; or to announce upcoming fairs and the main goods being sold there, I will defer to the judgment of those involved.

The advertisements in Houghton’s Collection may appear strange to the reader accustomed to rounded sentences and glowing periods, but in the reign of William III. the general absence of education rendered the social element more unsophisticated in character. In those old days the advertiser and editor of the paper frequently speak in the first person singular; also the advertiser often speaks through the editor. A few specimens taken at random will give the reader a tolerably good idea of the style then prevalent:—

The ads in Houghton’s Collection might seem odd to readers used to smooth sentences and dramatic punctuation, but during William III's reign, the overall lack of education made society less refined. Back then, advertisers and the paper's editor often spoke in the first person. Additionally, advertisers frequently communicated through the editor. A few random examples will give the reader a fairly good sense of the style common at that time common

——A very eminent brewer, and one I know to be a very honest gentleman, wants an apprentice; I can give an account of him.

——A well-known brewer, who I know to be a really honest guy, is looking for an apprentice; I can tell you all about him.

——I want a house keeper rarely well accomplished for that purpose. ’Tis for a suitable gentleman.

——I want a housekeeper who's really skilled for that job. It's for a suitable gentleman.

——I know of valuable estates to be sold.

I know of valuable properties that are for sale.

——I want several apprentices for a valuable tradesman.

——I want several apprentices for a skilled tradesman.

——I can help to ready money for any library great or small or parcels of pictures or household goods.

——I can help arrange funding for any library, whether it's big or small, or for collections of artwork or home goods.

——I want a negro man that is a good house carpenter and a good shoemaker.

——I want a Black man who is a skilled carpenter and a good shoemaker.

*** I want a young man about 14 or 15 years old that can trim and look after a peruke. ’Tis to wait on a merchant.

*** I want a young man around 14 or 15 years old who can style and take care of a wig. He is to assist a merchant.

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——I want a pritty boy to wait on a gentleman who will take care of him and put him out an apprentice.

——I want a pretty boy to serve a gentleman who will take care of him and arrange for him to become an apprentice.

——If any gentleman wants a housekeeper, I believe I can help to the best in England.

——If any man is looking for a housekeeper, I think I can find the best one in England.

——Many masters want apprentices and many youths want masters. If they apply themselves to me, I’ll strive to help them. Also for variety of valuable services.

——Many mentors want apprentices and many young people want mentors. If they dedicate themselves to me, I’ll do my best to help them. Also for a range of valuable services.

By reason of my great corresponding, I may help masters to apprentices and Apprentices to Masters. And now is wanting Three Boys, one with £70, one with £30, and a Scholar with £60.

Due to my extensive networking, I can connect masters with apprentices and apprentices with masters. Right now, I'm looking for three boys: one who can pay £70, another who can pay £30, and a scholar who can pay £60.

——I know of several curious women that would wait on ladies to be housekeepers.

I know several curious women who would be housekeepers for ladies.

——Now I want a good usher’s place in a Grammar school.

——Now I want a good ushering position in a grammar school.

——I want a young man that can write and read, mow and roll a garden, use a gun at a deer, and understand country sports, and to wait at table, and such like.

——I want a young man who can read and write, mow and roll a garden, use a gun to hunt deer, understand country sports, and serve at the table, and things like that.

——If any young man that plays well on the violin and writes a good hand desires a clerkship, I can help him to £20 a year.

——If any young man who plays the violin well and has nice handwriting wants a clerk job, I can help him get £20 a year.

——I want a complete young man, that will wear livery, to wait on a very valuable gentleman, but he must know how to play on a violin or a flute.

——I want a well-rounded young man, who will wear a uniform, to serve a very important gentleman, but he must know how to play the violin or the flute.

——I want a genteel footman that can play on the violin to wait on a person of honour.

——I want a refined footman who can play the violin to attend to a person of distinction.

——If I can meet with a sober man that has a counter tenor voice, I can help him to a place worth £30 the year or more.

——If I can meet a sober guy with a countertenor voice, I can help him land a position that pays £30 a year or more.

This continual demand for musical servants arose from the fashion of making them take part in musical performances, of which custom we find frequent traces in Pepys. Altogether the most varied accomplishments appear to have been expected from servants; as, for instance,—

This ongoing demand for musical servants came from the trend of having them participate in musical performances, a practice we often see in Pepys. In general, it seems that a wide range of skills was expected from servants; for example, —

——If any Justice of the Peace wants a clerk, I can help to one that has been so seven years; understands accounts, to be butler, also to receive money. He also can shave and buckle wigs.

——If any Justice of the Peace needs a clerk, I can help find one who has been in the role for seven years; he knows how to manage accounts, can serve as a butler, and handle money. He can also shave and style wigs.

The editor frequently gives special testimony as to the respectability of the advertiser:—

The editor often provides a special endorsement regarding the credibility of the advertiser:—

——If any one wants a wet nurse, I can help them, as I am informed, to a very good one.

——If anyone needs a wet nurse, I can help them find a really good one.

——I know a gentlewoman whose family is only her husband, herself and maid, and would to keep her company take care of a child,[87] two or three, of three years old or upwards. She is my good friend, and such a one that whoever put their children to her, I am sure will give me thanks, and think themselves happy, let them be what rank they will.

I know a woman whose family consists only of her husband, herself, and their maid, and she wants to take care of a child, or maybe two or three, who are three years old or older, for company. She is a good friend of mine, and I'm confident that anyone who entrusts their children to her will be grateful and feel fortunate, no matter what their status is.[87]

——I have been to Mr Firmin’s work house in Little Britain, and seen a great many pieces of what seems to me excellent linen, made by the poor in and about London. He will sell it at reasonable rates, and I believe whatever house keepers go there to buy will not repent, and on Wednesdays and Saturdays in the forenoon he is always there himself.

——I have visited Mr. Firmin’s workshop in Little Britain and seen a lot of what looks like excellent linen made by people in and around London. He sells it at fair prices, and I believe that anyone who goes there to buy will be satisfied. He's always there himself on Wednesdays and Saturdays in the morning.

——I have met with a curious gardener that will furnish any body that sends to me for fruit trees, and floreal shrubs, and garden seeds. I have made him promise with all solemnity that whatever he sends shall be purely good, and I verily believe he may be depended on.

——I've met a curious gardener who will supply anyone that contacts me for fruit trees, flowering shrubs, and garden seeds. I've made him promise with all seriousness that whatever he sends will be genuinely good, and I truly believe he can be trusted.

——One that has waited on a lady divers years, and understands all affairs in housekeeping and the needle, desires some such place. She seems a discreet, staid body.

——One who has waited on a lady for several years and understands everything about managing a household and sewing wants a position like that. She appears to be a sensible, serious person.

At other times Houghton recommends “a tidy footman,” a “quick, well-looking fellow,” or “an extraordinary cook-maid;” and observes of a certain ladysmaid, who offered her services through his Collection, “and truly she looks and discourses passing well.” Occasionally he also guarantees the situation; thus, applying for “a suitable man that can read and write, and will wear a livery,” he adds for the information of flunkeys in general: “I believe that ’twill be a very good place, for ’tis to serve a fine gentleman whom I well know, and he will give £5 the year besides a livery.” Imagine Jeames of Belgravia being told he should have £5 for his important annual services! Another time “’tis to wait on a very valuable old batchelor gentleman in the City.” Again, he recommends a Protestant French gentleman, who is willing to wait on some person of quality, and Houghton adds, “from a valuable divine, my good friend, I have a very good character of him.” Of a certain surgeon, whom he advertises, he says, “I have known him, I believe, this twenty years.” All these recommendations bear an unmistakable character of truth and honesty on their face, and are[88] very different from the commendatory paragraphs which nowadays appear in the body of a paper because of long advertisements which are to be found in the outer sheet. Nor is the worthy man ever willing to engage his word further than where he can speak by experience; in other cases, an “I believe,” or some such cautious expression, invariably appears. Recommending a hairdresser, he says—

At other times, Houghton suggests “a neat footman,” “a quick, good-looking guy,” or “an exceptional cook-maid,” and comments on a certain lady’s maid who offered her services through his Collection, saying, “and honestly, she seems to present herself quite well.” He sometimes guarantees the position; when applying for “a suitable man who can read and write and will wear a uniform,” he adds for the benefit of all attendants: “I believe it will be a very good job because it’s to serve a fine gentleman whom I know well, and he’ll pay £5 a year plus a uniform.” Imagine Jeames of Belgravia being told he should get £5 for his important annual services! Another time it’s to wait on a very esteemed old bachelor gentleman in the City. Again, he recommends a Protestant French gentleman who is willing to serve someone of quality, and Houghton adds, “I have a very good reference for him from a respected divine, my good friend.” Regarding a particular surgeon he promotes, he says, “I have known him, I believe, for about twenty years.” All these recommendations clearly show truthfulness and honesty, quite different from the glowing paragraphs that now fill the pages of papers due to long advertisements found in the outer sheet. Nor is the reputable man ever eager to vouch for anyone beyond what he can personally attest to; in other cases, an “I believe” or similar cautious wording always appears. Recommending a hairdresser, he says—

——I know a peruke maker that pretends to make perukes extraordinary fashionable, and will sell good pennyworths; I can direct to him.

I know a wig maker who claims to create very stylish wigs and offers great deals; I can take you to him.

And once, when a number of quack advertisements had found their way into the paper, old Houghton, with a sly nod and a merry twinkle in his eye, almost apparent as one reads, drily puts his “index” above them, with the following caution:—

And once, when several fake ads appeared in the paper, old Houghton, with a mischievous nod and a cheerful sparkle in his eye, which is almost visible as you read, dryly placed his “index” above them with the following caution:—

Pray, mind the preface to this half sheet. Like lawyers, I take all causes. I may fairly; who likes not may stop here.

Please, pay attention to the introduction of this brief document. Like lawyers, I accept all cases. I can do so; if you don’t like it, you can stop reading here.

A tolerably broad hint of his disbelief in the said nostrums and elixirs. Even booksellers had to undergo the test of his ordeal, and having discovered some of their shortcomings, he warned them—

A fairly clear hint of his disbelief in those remedies and magic potions. Even booksellers had to go through his scrutiny, and after finding some of their flaws, he warned them—

*** I desire all booksellers to send me no new titles to old books, for they will be rejected.

*** I ask all booksellers not to send me any new editions of old books, as they will be turned down.

When a book of the right reverend father in God John Wilkins, late Bishop of Chester, was published, Houghton recommended it in patronising terms—

When a book by the right reverend father in God John Wilkins, the late Bishop of Chester, was published, Houghton endorsed it in a patronizing way—

——I have read this book, and do think it a piece of great ingenuity, becoming the Bishop of Chester, and is useful for a great many purposes, both profit and pleasure.

——I have read this book, and I really think it’s a work of great creativity, especially for the Bishop of Chester, and it’s useful for many things, both for gaining knowledge and enjoyment.

Of another work he says—

Of another work he says—

——With delight have I read over this book, and think it a very good one.

——I have enjoyed reading this book and think it's really good.

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Thus, notwithstanding the primitive form of the advertisements, the benefit to be derived from this mode of publicity began to be more and more understood. It was not without great trouble, however; and it was necessary that Houghton should constantly direct the attention of the trading community to the resources and advantages of advertising, which he did in the most candid manner. He simply and abruptly puts the question and leaves those interested to solve it. Thus:—

Thus, even though the advertisements were basic, people started to understand the benefits of this type of publicity more and more. However, it wasn't easy; Houghton had to continually draw the trading community's attention to the resources and advantages of advertising, which he did very openly. He straightforwardly asks the question and lets those interested figure it out. Thus:—

——Whether advertisements of schools, or houses and lodgings about London may be useful, I submit to those concerned.

——Whether ads for schools, houses, or accommodations in London are helpful, I leave it up to those involved.

And the answer came; for a few days after the public were informed that

And the answer came; a few days after the public was informed that

——At one Mr Packer’s, in Crooked Lane, next the Dolphin, are very good Lodgings to be let, where there is freedom from noise, and a pretty garden.

——At Mr. Packer's, on Crooked Lane, next to the Dolphin, there are really good rooms available for rent, where you can enjoy peace and quiet, along with a lovely garden.

Freedom from noise and a pretty garden in a street leading from Eastcheap to Fish Street Hill! Shortly after Houghton calmly observes:—

Freedom from noise and a lovely garden on a street that connects Eastcheap to Fish Street Hill! Shortly after, Houghton calmly observes:—

——I now find advertisements of schools, houses and lodgings in and about London are thought useful.

——I now see that ads for schools, houses, and places to stay in and around London are considered helpful.

He then starts other subjects:—

He then starts other subjects:—

——I believe some advertisements about bark and timber might be of use both to buyer and seller.

——I think some ads about wood and timber could be helpful for both buyers and sellers.

*** I find several barbers think it their interest to take in these papers, and I believe the rest will when they understand them.

*** I see that a number of barbers believe it benefits them to read these papers, and I’m sure that others will as well once they realize their value.

The barber’s shop was then the headquarters of gossip, as it took a long time to shave the whole of a man’s beard and curl a sufficient quantum of hair or wig, as worn in those old days, and so the man of suds was expected to entertain his customers or find them entertainment. Next turning his attention to the clergy, Houghton offers that body a helping hand also:—

The barber's shop was basically the hub of gossip, since it took a while to shave a man's entire beard and style his hair or wig, as was the fashion back then. So, the barber was expected to either entertain his clients or provide them with some entertainment. Then, shifting his focus to the clergy, Houghton extends a helping hand to that group as well:—

*** I would gladly serve the clergy in all their wants.

*** I would be happy to help the clergy with all their needs.

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How he understood this friendly help soon appeared:—

How he understood this friendly help soon arrived:—

——If any divine or their relicts have complete sets of manuscript sermons upon the Epistles and the Gospels, the Catechism or Festivals, I can help them to a customer.

——If any clergy or their descendants have complete sets of manuscript sermons on the Epistles and the Gospels, the Catechism, or the Festivals, I can connect them with a buyer.

The use of second-hand sermons was not unknown in those days, and detection was of course much less imminent than now. Then—

The use of second-hand sermons wasn’t uncommon back then, and getting caught was obviously much less likely than it is today. Then—

——I have sold all the manuscript sermons I had and many more, and if any has any more to dispose of that are good and legibly writ, I believe I can help them to customers.

——I've sold all the manuscript sermons I had, plus many more, and if anyone has any more that are well-written and easy to read, I think I can help them find buyers.

Possibly the “many more” was a heavy attempt at humour; but anyhow the sermon article was in great demand, and his kindly services did not rest there:—

Possibly the "many more" was a strong attempt at humor; but anyway, the sermon article was in high demand, and his generous services didn't stop there:—

——If any incumbent within 20 miles of London will dispose of his living, I can help him to a chapman.

——If any current holder of a position within 20 miles of London wants to sell their property, I can help them find a buyer.

——A rectory of £100 per annum in as good an air as any in England, 60 miles off, and an easy cure is to be commuted.

——A rectory with an income of £100 a year in as good a location as any in England, 60 miles away, and an easy position can be converted.

——A vicaridge and another cure which requires service but once a month, value £86. ’Tis in Kent about 60 miles from London.

——A vicarage and another position that requires service only once a month, worth £86. It's in Kent, about 60 miles from London.

And so on, proving that the clergy had not refused the friendly offer, and were fully as ready as the tradesman to avail themselves of this means of giving vent to their wants and requirements.

And so on, showing that the clergy had accepted the friendly offer and were just as eager as the tradesman to take advantage of this way to express their needs and desires.

Houghton would occasionally do a little business to oblige a friend, though it is fair to assume that he participated in the profits:—

Houghton would sometimes do a small favor for a friend, although it's reasonable to believe that he took a share of the profits:—

*** For a friend, I can sell very good flower of brimstone, etc., as cheap or cheaper than any in town does; and I’ll sell any good commodity for any man of repute if desired.

*** For a friend, I can sell really good flower of brimstone, etc., for as cheap or even cheaper than anyone else in town; and I’ll sell any quality product for any reputable person if needed.

——I find publishing for others does them kindness, therefore note: I sell lozenges for 8d. the ounce which good drinkers commend against heartburn, and are excellent for women with child, to prevent miscarriages; also the true lapis nephriticus which is esteemed excellent for the stone by wearing it on the wrist.

——I believe that publishing for others is a kind act, so please note: I sell lozenges for 8d. per ounce, which good drinkers recommend for heartburn, and are great for pregnant women to prevent miscarriages; also the genuine lapis nephriticus which is highly valued for treating kidney stones when worn on the wrist.

——I would gladly buy for a friend the historical part of Cornelius a Lapide upon the Bible.

I would happily buy for a friend the historical section of Cornelius a Lapide's commentary on the Bible.

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Besides the above particular advertisements, the paper frequently contained another kind, which to us may appear singularly vague and unbusinesslike, but which no doubt perfectly answered their purpose among a comparatively minute metropolitan population, the subjects of William III. We allude to general advertisements such as these:—

Besides the specific ads mentioned above, the paper often included another type that might seem oddly vague and unprofessional to us, but surely served its purpose well among the relatively small population of those under William III. We're referring to general ads like these:—

Last week was imported

Last week was important

  • Bacon by Mr Edwards.
  • Cheese by Mr Francia.
  • Corral Beads by Mr Paggen.
  • Crabs Eyes by Mr Harvey.
  • Horse Hair by Mr Becens.
  • Joynted Babies by Mr Harrison.
  • Mapps by Mr Thompson.
  • Orange Flower Water by Mr Bellamy.
  • Prospective Glasses by Mr Mason.
  • Saffron by Mr Western.
  • Sturgeon by Mr Kett.

If any desire it other things may be inserted.

If anyone wants, other things can be added.

In similar style a most extraordinary variety of other things imported are advertised in subsequent numbers, including crystal stones, hops, oxguts, incle, juniper, old pictures, onions, pantiles, quick eels, rushes, spruce beer, sturgeon, trees, brandy, chimney backs, caviar, tobacco-pipes, whale-fins, bugle, canes, sheep’s-guts, washballs and snuff, a globe, aqua fortis, shruffe, quills, waxworks, ostrich feathers, scamony, clagiary paste, Scotch coals, sweet soap, onion seed, gherkins, mum, painted sticks, soap-berries, mask-leather, and so on, for a long time, only giving the names of the importers, without ever mentioning their addresses, until at last a bright idea struck this gentleman, who seems to have been one of those vulgarly said to be before their time, but who are in fact the pioneers who pave the way for all improvements; and so the Collection was enriched with the following notice:—

In a similar way, a truly extraordinary variety of other imported items are advertised in later issues, including crystal stones, hops, oxguts, incle, juniper, old pictures, onions, pantiles, quick eels, rushes, spruce beer, sturgeon, trees, brandy, chimney backs, caviar, tobacco pipes, whale fins, bugle, canes, sheep guts, washballs, and snuff, a globe, aqua fortis, shruffe, quills, waxworks, ostrich feathers, scamony, claggy paste, Scotch coals, sweet soap, onion seeds, gherkins, mum, painted sticks, soap berries, mask leather, and so on, for a lengthy time, only listing the names of the importers without ever mentioning their addresses, until finally a clever idea occurred to this gentleman, who seems to be one of those people often said to be ahead of their time, but who are actually the pioneers that pave the way for all advancements; thus, the Collection was enhanced with the following notice:—

——If desired I’ll set down the places of abode, and I am sure ’twill be of good use: for I am often asked it.

——If you’d like, I’ll list the places to live, and I’m sure it will be helpful because people often ask me about it.

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Houghton was indeed so well aware of the utility of giving the addresses, that in order to render his paper more permanently useful, he published, apparently on his own account, not only the addresses of some of the principal shops, but also a list of the residences of the leading doctors. From this we gather that in June 1694 there were 93 doctors in and about London, also that Dr (afterwards Sir) Hans Sloane lived at Montague House (now the British Museum), Dr Radcliffe in Bow Street, and Dr Garth, by Duke Street. At the conclusion of this list the publisher says:—

Houghton was very aware of how useful it was to provide addresses, so to make his paper more useful in the long run, he seemingly published on his own initiative not only the addresses of some major shops but also a list of the homes of prominent doctors. From this, we learn that in June 1694, there were 93 doctors in and around London. We also find that Dr. (later Sir) Hans Sloane lived at Montague House (now the British Museum), Dr. Radcliffe was on Bow Street, and Dr. Garth was near Duke Street. At the end of this list, the publisher says:—

——I shall also go the round, I. of Counsellors and Attorneys; II. of Surgeons and Gardiners; III. of Lawyers and Attorneys; IV. Schools and Woodmongers; V. Brokers, coaches and carriers, and such like, and then round again, beginning with Physitians.

——I will also visit the various groups, I. of Counselors and Attorneys; II. of Surgeons and Gardeners; III. of Lawyers and Attorneys; IV. Schools and Timber Merchants; V. Brokers, Coaches, and Carriers, and so on, and then start over, beginning with Physicians.

Thus by untiring perseverance, and no small amount of thought and study, Houghton trained his contemporaries in the art of advertising, and made them acquainted with the valuable assistance to be derived from a medium which, as Alexis de Tocqueville remarks, drops the same thought into a thousand minds at almost the same period. Apart from the interest which his papers have on the subject we have been considering, they are full of graphic details which throw a clear and effective light on these old and bygone times. What can give a more vivid picture of the state of the roads in this country in winter-time, nearly two centuries ago, than the following notice extracted from the Collection for Husbandry and Trade, March 10, 1693:—

Thus, through tireless perseverance and a significant amount of thought and study, Houghton trained his peers in the art of advertising and helped them understand the valuable benefits of a medium that, as Alexis de Tocqueville points out, shares the same idea with a thousand minds almost simultaneously. Aside from the interest his papers hold on the topic we've been discussing, they are filled with vivid details that shed clear and effective light on these old and past times. What could provide a more striking picture of the state of the roads in this country during winter nearly two centuries ago than the following notice taken from the Collection for Husbandry and Trade, March 10, 1693:—

——Roads are filled with snow, we are forced to ride with the paquet over hedges and ditches. This day seven-night my boy with the paquet and two gentlemen were seven hours riding from Dunstable to Hockley, but three miles, hardly escaping with their lives, being often in holes and forced to be drawn out with ropes. A man and a woman were found dead within a mile hence. I fear I have lost my letter-carrier, who has not been heard of since Thursday last. Six horses lie dead on the road between Hockley and Brickhill, smothered.[93] I was told last night that lately was found dead near Beaumarais three men and three horses.

——The roads are covered in snow, so we have to ride over hedges and ditches with the package. Last week, my son and two gentlemen spent seven hours riding from Dunstable to Hockley, but they only made it three miles, barely escaping with their lives, often getting stuck in holes and needing to be pulled out with ropes. A man and a woman were found dead just a mile away. I'm worried that I’ve lost my letter carrier, who hasn't been seen since last Thursday. Six horses are dead on the road between Hockley and Brickhill, buried under the snow.[93] I heard last night that recently, three men and three horses were found dead near Beaumarais.

At this picture of those good old times for which people who know nothing about them now weep, we will stop. The rest of the story, so far as the development of advertisements is concerned, will be told in strict chronological order.

At this image of those good old days that people who know nothing about them now mourn, we will pause. The rest of the story, regarding the evolution of advertisements, will be presented in strict chronological order.


[24] Broer Jansz styles himself “Couranteer in the Army of his Princely Excellence,” i.e., Prince Frederic Henry, the Stadtholder. Subsequently, in 1630, Jansz commenced a new series, which he entitled “Tidings from Various Quarters.”

[24] Broer Jansz refers to himself as “Current Affairs Reporter in the Army of His Royal Highness,” i.e., Prince Frederic Henry, the Stadtholder. Later, in 1630, Jansz started a new series called “News from Different Places.”

[25] John Nicholl, in his “Literary Anecdotes,” vol. iv. p. 71, calls the editor of this paper Benjamin Harris, a well-known publisher of pamphlets in the reign of Charles II., and says that J. Knighton was the editor in 1692. This last name may be a clerical error for Houghton.

[25] John Nicholl, in his “Literary Anecdotes,” vol. iv. p. 71, refers to the editor of this paper as Benjamin Harris, a well-known publisher of pamphlets during the reign of Charles II., and notes that J. Knighton was the editor in 1692. This last name might be a typo for Houghton.


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CHAPTER 6.
Advertising Evolution.

We have now arrived at a period when the value of advertising was beginning to make itself felt among even the most conservative, and when it at last began to dawn upon the minds so unaccustomed to change or improvement, that a new era in the history of trade was about to commence, even if it had not commenced already. So the newspapers of the latter half of the seventeenth century begin to offer fresh inducements to the reader, no matter whether to the antiquarian or simply curious. And he must be a flippant reader indeed who is not impressed by these files of musty and bygone journals, pervaded by the spirit of a former age, and redolent of the busy doings of men who generations ago were not only dead but forgotten. Few things could be more suggestive of the steady progress of Time, and the quite as steady progress of his congeners, Death and Forgetfulness, than these papers. Novelists and essayists have described in most eloquent words the feelings which are aroused by the perusal of suddenly-discovered and long-forgotten letters; and similar feelings, though of a much more extended description, are evoked by a glance through any volume of these moth-eaten journals. A writer of a few years back, speaking of the advertisements, says, “As we read in the old musty files of newspapers those naïve announcements, the very hum of bygone generations seems to rise to the ear. The chapman exhibits his quaint wares, the mountebank capers again upon his stage, we[95] have the living portrait of the highwayman flying from justice, we see the old-china auctions thronged with ladies of quality with their attendant negro-boys, or those by ‘inch of candle-light,’ forming many a Schalken-like picture of light and shade; or later still we have Hogarthian sketches of the young bloods who swelled of old along the Pall-Mall. We trace the moving panorama of men and manners up to our own less demonstrative, but more earnest times; and all these cabinet pictures are the very daguerreotypes cast by the age which they exhibit, not done for effect, but faithful reflections of those insignificant items of life and things, too small, it would seem, for the generalising eye of the historian, however necessary to clothe and fill in the dry bones of his history.” Indeed, turning over these musty volumes of newspapers is for the imaginative mind a pleasure equal to reading the Tatler or Spectator, or the plays of the period. By their means Cowper’s idea of seeing life “through the loopholes of retreat” is realised, and characteristic facts and landmarks of progress in the history of civilisation are brought under our notice, as the busy life of bygone generations bursts full upon us. We see the merchant at his door, and inside the dimly-lit shops observe the fine ladies of the time deep in the mysteries of brocades and other articles of the feminine toilet, whose very names are now lost to even the mercers themselves. And not alone intent on flowered mantuas and paduasoys are they, for we can in fancy see them, keen ever to a fancied bargain, pricing Chinese teapots or Japanese cabinets, and again watch them as, with fluttering hearts, they assist at lotteries for valuables of the quality familiar to “knockouts” of our own time. We hear the lament of the beau who has lost his clouded amber-headed cane or his heart at the playhouse, and listen to the noisy quacks vending their nostrums, each praising his own wares or depreciating those of his rivals. We see the dishonest serving-man rush past us on the road carrying the heterogeneous treasures which have tempted his cupidity. Soon the “Hue[96] and Cry” brings the same ill-favoured malefactor before us in an improved character as horse-stealer and highwayman; and ere long we hear of the conclusion of his short drama at Tyburn. Thus the various advertisements portray, with more or less vividness, lineaments of the times and the characters of the people.

We have now reached a time when the value of advertising was starting to be recognized even by the most traditional thinkers, and when it finally began to hit home for those who were unaccustomed to change or progress that a new era in trade history was about to begin, if it hadn’t already. So, newspapers from the latter part of the seventeenth century started offering new incentives to readers, whether they were antiquarians or just curious. You would have to be quite an indifferent reader not to be moved by these old and dusty journals, filled with the essence of a past age and echoing the busy lives of people who, generations ago, were not just dead but forgotten. Few things are more indicative of the relentless passage of Time, and the equally relentless march of his companions, Death and Forgetfulness, than these papers. Novelists and essayists have described in very eloquent terms the emotions stirred by suddenly discovered and long-lost letters; and similar emotions, albeit on a larger scale, are invoked by a glance through any volume of these tattered journals. A writer from a few years back remarked on the advertisements, saying, “As we read in the old musty files of newspapers those naïve announcements, the very hum of past generations seems to rise to our ears. The merchant displays his quirky goods, the charlatan dances again on his little stage, we have the living portrait of the highwayman fleeing from justice, we see the auction of antique china crowded with ladies of quality and their attending servants, or those lit by ‘candle-light’, forming many Schalken-like scenes of light and shadow; or later still we encounter Hogarthian sketches of the young swaggerers who once strutted along Pall-Mall. We follow the moving picture of people and manners up to our own less showy, but more genuine times; and all these snapshots are the very daguerreotypes created by the era they depict, not made for effect, but true reflections of those trivial details of life and things, perhaps too minor for the historian's broader lens, but essential to flesh out and bring life to the dry bones of his history.” Indeed, poring over these dusty newspapers is, for an imaginative mind, as enjoyable as reading the Tatler or Spectator, or the plays of the time. Through them, Cowper’s notion of seeing life “through the loopholes of retreat” is realized, and characteristic facts and milestones in the progress of civilization are highlighted, as the vibrant lives of past generations come alive. We see the merchant at his door, and inside the dimly lit shops, we observe the stylish ladies of the time engrossed in the mysteries of brocades and other feminine attire, whose very names are now forgotten even by merchants themselves. And they’re not just focused on flowery mantuas and paduasoys, for we can imagine them, ever eager for a good deal, pricing Chinese teapots or Japanese cabinets, and then watch as, with racing hearts, they participate in lotteries for treasures comparable to the “knockouts” of our own day. We hear the lament of the gentleman who has lost his amber-headed cane or his heart at the theater, and listen to the raucous quacks selling their remedies, each boasting about his own products while putting down those of his competitors. We see the dishonest servant rushing past us on the road carrying the mixed treasures that have tempted his greed. Soon the “Hue[96] and Cry” presents the same unsavory criminal before us in a new role as horse thief and highwayman; and before long, we hear about the end of his short saga at Tyburn. Thus, the various advertisements vividly depict the essence of the times and the character of the people.

That the newspapers were early used for the purpose of giving contradictions by means of advertisement, or effecting sly puffs, is shown by the following, which was doubtless intended to call attention to the work, and which was published in the form of an ordinary paragraph in the Modern Intelligence, April 15-22, 1647:—

That newspapers were initially used to create contradictions through advertisements or to give subtle promotions is demonstrated by the following, which was clearly meant to draw attention to the work and was published as a regular paragraph in the Modern Intelligence, April 15-22, 1647:—

There came forth a book this day relating how a divil did appear in the house or yard of Mr Young, mercer in Lombard St., with a great many particulars there related; It is desired by the gentleman of that house, and those of his family, that all that are credulous of those things (which few wise are), may be assured that its all fabulous, and that there was never any such thing. It is true there is a dog, and that dog hath a chain, and the gentleman’s son played upon an instrument of music for his recreation,—but these are to be seen, which a spirit sure never was.

A book came out today describing how a devil appeared in the house or yard of Mr. Young, a merchant on Lombard St., including a lot of details. The gentleman and his family want everyone who believes in such things (which few wise people do) to know that it’s all made up, and that there was never any such thing. It’s true there’s a dog, and that dog has a chain, and the gentleman’s son played a musical instrument for fun—but those are real things; a spirit surely never was.

There is a logical deduction about the conclusion of this which it is to be hoped forced itself upon the minds of those who were ready to believe not only in the existence but in the visibility of spirits; and if the paragraph was but a lift for the book after all, it surely deserved success, if only for the quaint way in which it admits to the dog and the boy and the musical instrument, a combination equal upon an emergency to the simulation of a very powerful devil. In the very next edition of the same paper we come upon a paragraph which is even more direct in its advertising properties, which, in fact, might have been dictated by editorial “friendship” in these days, instead of in the first half of the seventeenth century. It runs thus:—

There’s a logical conclusion to this that hopefully made sense to those who were willing to believe not just in the existence but also in the visibility of spirits. If this paragraph was merely a boost for the book, it certainly deserved to succeed, if only for the quirky way it includes the dog, the boy, and the musical instrument—a combination that could convincingly mimic a very powerful devil in an emergency. In the very next edition of the same paper, we find a paragraph that’s even more straightforward in its promotional intent, which could very well have been written out of “editorial friendship” today, rather than in the first half of the seventeenth century. It reads so:—

You should have had a notable oration made by the Bishop of Angoulesme and Grand Almoner to his Majesty of England, at a Convention in Paris in favour of the Catholicks in England and Ireland, but being overlarge it will be made public the beginning of next week by itself it is worth reading especially by those who are for a generall toleration when they may clearly see it is the broad way to the destruction of these kingdommes.

You should have had a significant speech delivered by the Bishop of Angoulesme and Grand Almoner to his Majesty of England, at a meeting in Paris supporting Catholics in England and Ireland. However, since it’s quite lengthy, it will be published separately at the beginning of next week. It’s definitely worth reading, especially for those who advocate for general tolerance, as it clearly illustrates that this is a sure path to the destruction of these kingdoms.

The 23. of May.

May 23.

VVEEKELY
Nevves from Italy,
GERMANIE, HVNGARIA,
BOHEMIA, the PALATINATE,
France, and the Low Countries.

WEEKLY
Update from Italy,
GERMANY, HUNGARY,
Bohemia, the Palatinate, France, and the Low Countries.

Translated out of the Low Dutch Copie.

Translated from the Dutch.


logo

London,
Printed by I. D. for Nicholas Bourne and Thomas
Archer
, and are to be sold at their shops at the
Exchange, and in Popes-head Pallace.
1622.

London,
Printed by I. D. for Nicholas Bourne and Thomas
Archer
, and available for sale at their shops at the
Exchange, and in Popes-head Palace.
1622.

Facsimile of newspaper page

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ of news page

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[97]

What is considered by many to be the first bonâ fide and open advertisement ever published appears in a paper entitled Several Proceedings in Parliament, and is found under the date November 28-December 5, 1650. It runs thus:—

What many people see as the first real and open advertisement ever published appears in a paper called Several Proceedings in Parliament, dated November 28-December 5, 1650. It goes like this:—

BY the late tumult made the 27 of November, whereof you have the narration before; in the night time in Bexfield, in the county of Norfolk, about 12 Horses were stolen out of the town, whereof a bay-bald Gelding with three white feet, on the near buttock marked with R. F., 9 or 10 years old. A bay-bald Mare with a wall-eye and a red star in her face, the near hind foot white, 7 years old. A black brown Mare, trots all, 6 years old. Whomsoever brings certain intelligence where they are to Mr Badcraft of Bexfield, in Norfolk, they shall have 20s. for each Horse.

BY the late tumult made the 27th of November, which you have the details about earlier; during the night in Bexfield, Norfolk, around 12 horses were stolen from the town. Among them was a bay-bald gelding with three white feet, marked with R. F. on the near buttock, approximately 9 or 10 years old. There was also a bay-bald mare with a wall-eye and a red star on her face, with a white near hind foot, around 7 years old. Additionally, a black-brown mare, who trots well, is about 6 years old. Anyone who provides confirmed information on their whereabouts to Mr. Badcraft of Bexfield, Norfolk, will receive 20 shillings for each horse.

The following number of the same paper, that for December 5-12, 1650, contains this:—

The next issue of the same paper, dated December 5-12, 1650, includes this:—

A bright Mare, 12 hands high, one white foot behind, a white patch below the saddle, near the side, a black main, a taile cut, a natural ambler, about 10li. price, stolne, Decemb. 3. neare Guilford. John Rylands, a butcher, tall and ruddy, flaxen haire, about 30 years of age, is suspected. Mr. Brounloe, a stocking dier, near the Three Craynes, in Thames’s Streete, will satisfy those who can make discovery.

A bright mare, 12 hands high, with one white foot behind, a white patch below the saddle on the side, a black mane, a docked tail, and a natural amble, valued at about 10li. was stolen on Dec. 3, near Guilford. John Rylands, a tall, ruddy butcher with flaxen hair, around 30 years old, is a suspect. Mr. Brounloe, a stocking dyer near the Three Craynes on Thames Street, will reward anyone who can provide information.

In 1655, Lilly the astrologer availed himself of what was then considered the new plan for ventilating a grievance, and accordingly, in the Perfect Diurnal of April 9-16, he published the following full-fledged advertisement, one of the earliest extant:—

In 1655, Lilly the astrologer took advantage of what was seen as the new way to air a complaint, and so, in the Perfect Diurnal from April 9-16, he published the following comprehensive advertisement, one of the earliest still existing:—

An Advertisement from Mr William Lilly.

An Advertisement from Mr. William Lilly.

WHEREAS there are several flying reports, and many false and scandalous speeches in the mouth of many people in this City, tending unto this effect, viz.: That I, William Lilly, should predict or say there would be a great Fire in or near the Old Exchange, and another in St John’s Street, and another in the Strand near Temple Bar, and in several other parts of the City. These are to certifie the whole City that[98] I protest before Almighty God, that I never wrote any such thing, I never spoke any such word, or ever thought of any such thing, or any or all of those particular Places or Streets, or any other parts. These untruths are forged by ungodly men and women to disturb the quiet people of this City, to amaze the Nation, and to cast aspersions and scandals on me: God defend this City and all her inhabitants, not only from Fire, but from the Plague, Pestilence, or Famine, or any other accident or mortality that may be prejudicial unto her greatnesse.

WHEREAS there are several rumors going around and many false and scandalous statements being made by people in this City, suggesting that I, William Lilly, predicted or claimed there would be a great fire in or near the Old Exchange, another in St John’s Street, another in the Strand near Temple Bar, and in various other parts of the City. I want to inform the entire City that[98] I declare before Almighty God, that I never wrote any such thing, I never said any such words, or ever thought of any such thing, or any of those specific places or streets, or any other areas. These lies have been created by immoral men and women to disturb the peaceful people of this City, to shock the Nation, and to tarnish my reputation: May God protect this City and all its inhabitants, not only from fire, but from plague, pestilence, famine, or any other disaster or death that could threaten its greatness.

This, if noticed and recollected, must have destroyed, or at least damaged, Lilly’s fame, when the great fire really did take place; but then eleven years is a long time, long enough indeed to have included many and various prophecies. Certainly modern astrologers would have turned to account the mere fact of having been accused of prophesying such a fire or any portion of it. In a previous chapter we have given a specimen of the earliest advertisements with regard to the coaching arrangements of this time, and now append the following, which would seem to show, singular as it may appear, that the simpler form, in fact the first principle, of travelling by means of saddle-horses, was not arranged until after coaches had been regularly appointed. It appears in the Mercurius Politicus toward the end of the year 1658:—

This, if recognized and remembered, must have ruined, or at least harmed, Lilly’s reputation when the big fire actually happened; but eleven years is a long time, long enough indeed to have included many different predictions. Modern astrologers would definitely have made something of being accused of predicting such a fire or any part of it. In a previous chapter we have given a specimen of the earliest advertisements regarding the coaching arrangements of this time, and now we add the following, which, strangely enough, seems to show that the simpler method of traveling by saddle-horses wasn’t set up until after coaches had been formally organized. It appears in the Mercurius Politicus toward the end of the year 1658:—

The Postmasters on Chester Road, petitioning, have received Order, and do accordingly publish the following advertisement:—

The Postmasters on Chester Road, filing a petition, have received an Order, and are now publishing the following advertisement:

ALL Gentlemen, Merchants, and others, who have occasion to travel between London and Westchester, Manchester, and Warrington, or any other town upon that Road, for the accommodation of Trade, dispatch of Business, and ease of Purse, upon every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Morning, betwixt Six and ten of the Clock, at the house of Mr Christopher Charteris, at the sign of the Hart’s-Horn, in West-Smithfield, and Post-Master there, and at the Post-Master of Chester, at the Post-Master of Manchester, and at the Post-master of Warrington, may have a good and able single Horse, or more, furnished at Threepence the Mile, without the charge of a Guide; and so likewise at the house of Mr Thomas Challenor, Post-Master, at Stone in Staffordshire, upon every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday’s Morning, to go for London. And so likewise at all the several Post-Masters upon the Road, who will have all such set days so many Horses with Furniture in readiness[99] to furnish the Riders without any stay to carry them to or from any the places aforesaid, in Four days, as well to London as from thence, and to places nearer in less time, according as their occasions shall require, they ingaging at the first Stage where they take Horse, for the safe delivery of the same to the next immediate Stage, and not to ride that Horse without consent of the Post-Master by whom he rides, and so from Stage to Stage to the Journeys end. All those who intend to ride this way are desired to give a little notice beforehand, if conveniently they can, to the several Post-masters where they first take horse, whereby they may be furnished with so many Horses as the Riders shall require with expedition. This undertaking began the 28 of June 1658 at all the Places abovesaid, and so continues by the several Post-Masters.

ALL Gentlemen, Merchants, and anyone else who needs to travel between London and Westchester, Manchester, Warrington, or any other town along that route, for business purposes and convenience, can find available horses every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning from six to ten o'clock. This service is offered at the home of Mr. Christopher Charteris, at the sign of the Hart’s-Horn in West-Smithfield, and similarly at the Post-Master in Chester, the Post-Master in Manchester, and the Post-Master in Warrington. You can rent a capable single horse or more for three pence per mile, without needing to pay for a guide. Additionally, at the home of Mr. Thomas Challenor, Post-Master in Stone in Staffordshire, this service is also available every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning for travel to London. All the Post-Masters along the route will ensure that on those specific days, they will have enough horses with saddles ready to provide for riders without delay, taking them to or from any of the mentioned locations in four days, and to nearer places in less time, depending on individual needs. Upon taking a horse at the first stop, riders commit to safely delivering it to the next stop, and they must not ride that horse without the consent of the Post-Master they are riding under, continuing this way from stage to stage until they reach their final destination. Riders planning to use this service are kindly asked to notify the Post-Masters where they first hire a horse in advance, if possible, so they can be promptly provided with the number of horses they need. This service began on June 28, 1658, at all the locations mentioned above, and continues to be available through the various Post-Masters.

It is hard to understand how, even if he received notice beforehand, the first postmaster was enabled to guarantee the readiness of the remaining officials, unless indeed messengers were constantly passing backwards and forwards on each route. The intimation that the threepence per mile does not include a guide does something to clear up the mystery, and at the same time gives an idea as to the state of the roads at that time. One would imagine from the existence of such a being that the track was across a morass, or by the side of a precipice, and not along a highroad of “merrie England,” in those good old times for which so many sigh now. Who, although the necessity for the highway is far less than it was two hundred years ago, can imagine a guide being required nowadays for no other purpose than that of preventing the wayfarer from straying off the beaten track, and losing his horse, and probably himself, in some gigantic slough or quagmire! It is with difficulty one can now realise to himself the fact, that as late as the middle of the seventeenth century, the interior of the country was little better than a wilderness; but that it was so may be easily gathered by a reference to Pepys, who, in the diary of his journey to Bristol and back, makes frequent mention of guides, and finds them far from unnecessary or inexpensive.

It’s hard to understand how, even if he got notice beforehand, the first postmaster could ensure that the other officials were prepared, unless messengers were always moving back and forth on each route. The detail that the threepence per mile doesn't include a guide helps clear up some of the mystery and gives an idea of the state of the roads at that time. One might think that the presence of such a person meant the path was through a swamp or next to a cliff, instead of along a highway of “merrie England” in those good old days that many now long for. Who, even though the need for highways is much less than it was two hundred years ago, can picture a guide being needed today just to keep travelers from wandering off the main path and losing their horse, and probably themselves, in some huge bog or marsh? It's hard to imagine that as late as the mid-seventeenth century, the countryside was barely better than a wilderness; but it’s clear from referring to Pepys, who frequently mentions guides in his diary about his journey to Bristol and back, noting that they were far from unnecessary or cheap.

The servants of the olden time do not improve upon[100] acquaintance, as the following specimen advertisement from the Mercurius Politicus of July 1658 will show:—

The servants of the past don’t get better with familiarity, as the following example advertisement from the Mercurius Politicus of July 1658 will show:—

IF any one can give notice of one Edward Perry, being about the age of eighteen or nineteen years, of low stature, black hair, full of pock-holes in his face; he weareth a new gray suit trimmed with green and other ribbons, a light Cinnamon-colored cloak, and black hat, who run away lately from his Master; they are desired to bring or send word to Tho. Firby, Stationer, at Gray’s Inne gate, who will thankfully reward them.

IF anyone has information about one Edward Perry, who is around eighteen or nineteen years old, has a short stature, black hair, and has many pockmarks on his face; he’s wearing a new gray suit with green and other ribbons, a light cinnamon-colored cloak, and a black hat, and has recently run away from his employer; please let Tho. Firby, Stationer, at Gray’s Inn gate know, and he will be very grateful for any help.

This gay and dashing youth, whose pock-holes were possibly in those days regarded as but beauty-spots, with the additional recommendation of showing that their wearer had passed through the then dreaded and terrible ordeal, was doubtless an idle apprentice travelling in the direction since made famous by one who served his full indentures. Ugly as the young gentleman just described may seem to the hypercritical tastes of the nineteenth century, he, as we will presently show, is a perfect beauty compared with any individual specimen picked out at random from the long lists of criminals published in old newspapers. From these lists some conception may be formed of the ravages of the small-pox, and its effect upon the appearance of the great bulk of the population. Every man and woman seems to have been more or less marked—some slightly, some frightfully pitted or fretted, as the term then was; yet even now we have every day instances of violent and ignorant opposition to vaccination, an opposition which is loud-mouthed and possessed of considerable influence over the lower orders, who are led to believe that vaccination is the primary cause of all epidemic disease, including that which it most professes to prevent.

This cheerful and stylish young man, whose pockmarks might have been seen as beauty spots back then, and which also indicated that he had survived the feared and terrible ordeal of smallpox, was likely an idle apprentice heading toward a place that would later be made famous by someone who completed their full apprenticeship. As ugly as this young gentleman may appear to the overly critical tastes of the nineteenth century, he is, as we’ll show shortly, a perfect beauty compared to any random individual pulled from the long lists of criminals published in old newspapers. From these lists, you can get an idea of the devastation caused by smallpox and how it affected the appearance of a significant portion of the population. Every man and woman seems to have been marked to some extent—some slightly, others horrifically scarred, as the term was at the time; yet even today, we frequently encounter loud and ignorant opposition to vaccination. This resistance is vocal and holds considerable sway over the lower classes, who are led to believe that vaccination is the main cause of all epidemic diseases, including the very one it aims to prevent.

About this time highwaymen, who during the wars were almost unknown, began to exhibit a strong interest in the portable property of travellers; and as they took horses whenever they could find them, notices of lost, stolen, or strayed animals became frequent. It is much to be feared that the dashing knight of the road, who robbed the rich to give to[101] the poor, is a complete myth, and that the thieves who infested the highway were neither brave nor handsome, and not above picking up, and keeping, the most trifling things that came in their way. The quality of these riders may be guessed by means of the following, from the Mercurius Politicus of February 1659, the subject of which, singularly different from the “prancing prads” of which enthusiasts have written, seems to have been borrowed by one of them:—

Around this time, highway robbers, who were almost nonexistent during the wars, began to show a keen interest in the belongings of travelers. As they took horses whenever they could find them, reports of lost, stolen, or missing animals became quite common. It's very likely that the swashbuckling knight of the road, who supposedly stole from the rich to give to the poor, is just a fantasy, and that the thieves who roamed the highways were neither brave nor attractive, often picking up and keeping even the smallest items they encountered. The quality of these riders can be inferred from the following excerpt from the Mercurius Politicus of February 1659, which, oddly different from the “prancing steeds” that enthusiasts have written about, seems to have been inspired by one of them:—

A Small black NAG, some ten or eleven years old, no white at all, bob-Tailed, wel forehanded, somewhat thin behind, thick Heels, and goeth crickling and lamish behind at his first going out; the hair is beat off upon his far Hip as broad as a twelvepence; he hath a black leather Saddle trimmed with blew, and covered with a black Calves-skin, its a little torn upon the Pummel; two new Girths of white and green thread, and black Bridle, the Rein whereof is sowed on the off side, and a knot to draw it on the near side, Stoln out of a field at Chelmsford, 21 February instant, from Mr Henry Bullen. Whosoever can bring tidings to the said Mr Bullen, at Bromfield, or to Mr Newman at the Grocer’s Arms in Cornhil, shall have 20s. for his pains.

A Small black horse, about ten or eleven years old, with no white markings at all, bob-tailed, well built in the front, a bit thin in the back, thick heels, and limping slightly at first. The hair is worn off on his right hip, as wide as a twelve-penny coin; he has a black leather saddle with blue trim, covered with black calfskin, a little torn at the pommel; two new girths made of white and green thread, and a black bridle, with the rein sewn on the off side and a knot to attach it on the near side. Stolen from a field in Chelmsford on the 21st of February from Mr. Henry Bullen. Anyone who can provide information to Mr. Bullen at Bromfield, or to Mr. Newman at the Grocer’s Arms in Cornhil, will receive £1 for their trouble.

It is supposed by some that the great amount of horse-stealing which prevailed during the Commonwealth, and for the next fifty years, was caused by an inordinate scarcity of animals consequent upon casualties in the battle-field. This can hardly be correct, unless, indeed, the object of the foe was always to kill horses and capture men, a state of things hardly possible enough for the most determined theorist. One fact is noticeable, and seems to have been quite in the interest of the thieves—namely, that when at grass most horses were kept ready saddled. This practice may have arisen during the Civil Wars from frequent emergency, a ready-saddled horse being of even greater comparative value than the traditional bird in the hand; and we all know how hard it is to depart from custom which has been once established. That the good man was merciful to his beast in those days hardly appears probable, if we are to take the small black nag as evidence. His furniture, too,[102] seems much more adapted for service than show, despite its variety of colours; and perhaps the animal may have been seized, as was not uncommon, by some messenger of State making the best of his way from one part of the kingdom to another. Before the year 1636 there was no such thing as a postal service for the use of the people. The Court had, it is true, an establishment for the forwarding of despatches, and in Cromwell’s time much attention was paid to it; but it was, after all, often in not much better form than when Bryan Tuke wrote as follows during the sixteenth century: “The Kinges Grace hath no mor ordinary postes, ne of many days hathe had, but betweene London and Calais.... For, sir, ye knowe well that, except the hackney-horses betweene Gravesende and Dovour, there is no suche usual conveyance in post for men in this realme, as in the accustomed places of France and other partes; ne men can keepe horses in redynes withoute som way to bere the charges; but when placardes be sent for suche cause [to order the immediate forwarding of some State packet], the constables many tymes be fayne to take horses out of ploues and cartes, wherein can be no extreme diligence.” In Elizabeth’s reign a horse-post was established on each of the great roads for the transmission of the letters for the Court; but the Civil Wars considerably interfered with this, and though in the time of Cromwell public posts and conveyances were arranged, matters were in a generally loose state after his death, and during the reign of his sovereign majesty Charles II. Truly travelling was then a venturesome matter.

Some people think that the high rate of horse theft during the Commonwealth and the following fifty years was due to a serious shortage of animals caused by battlefield losses. This seems unlikely, unless the enemy’s goal was always to kill horses and capture men, which is a rather far-fetched idea even for the strongest theorists. One noticeable fact, which seemed to benefit the thieves, is that most horses were kept saddled while grazing. This practice may have started during the Civil Wars due to frequent emergencies, where a ready-saddled horse was even more valuable than the saying about a bird in the hand; and we all know how hard it is to change established customs. It seems unlikely that people treated their animals kindly during that time, especially if we consider the small black nag as evidence. Its equipment appears to be more practical than decorative, despite its variety of colors; and it’s possible that the animal was seized by a state messenger hurrying from one part of the kingdom to another. Before 1636, there was no postal service available for the general public. The Court did have a system for sending urgent messages, which was well attended to during Cromwell's time; however, it was often in no better condition than when Bryan Tuke wrote in the sixteenth century: “The King has no more regular posts, nor has there been many for days, except between London and Calais.... For, sir, you know well that, aside from the hired horses between Gravesend and Dover, there is no such usual postal service for men in this realm as in the customary places in France and other parts; nor can men keep horses ready without some means to cover the expenses; but when notices are sent for such reasons [to order the immediate forwarding of some State packet], the constables often have to take horses from plows and carts, which can’t guarantee extreme urgency.” During Elizabeth’s reign, a horse-post was set up on each major road for sending letters for the Court; but the Civil Wars disrupted this system, and although public posts and transportation were arranged during Cromwell’s time, things were generally quite disorganized after his death, and during the reign of King Charles II. Back then, traveling was truly a risky endeavor.

In 1659, also, we come upon an advertisement having reference to a work of the great blind bard John Milton. It appears in the Mercurius Politicus of September, and is as follows:—

In 1659, we also find an advertisement related to the work of the famous blind poet John Milton. It appears in the Mercurius Politicus from September and is as follows:—

CONSIDERATIONS touching the likeliest means to remove Hirelings out of the Church; wherein is also discours’d of Tithes, Church Fees, Church Revenues, and whether any maintenance of[103] Ministers can be settled by Law. The author, J. M. Sold by Livewel Chapman, at the Crown in Pope’s Head Alley.

CCONSIDERATIONS about the best ways to get rid of hired help in the Church; which also discusses Tithes, Church Fees, Church Revenues, and whether any support for [103] Ministers can be established by Law. The author, J. M. Sold by Livewel Chapman, at the Crown in Pope’s Head Alley.

Here we are, then, brought as it were face to face with one of the brightest names in the brightest list of England’s poets. This work is almost swamped amid a host of quaintly and sometimes fiercely titled controversial works, with which the press at that time teemed. The poet seems to have known what was impending, and to have conscientiously put forth his protest. We can guess what weight it had with the hungering crowds anxiously awaiting the coming change, and ready to be or do anything so long as place was provided for them. In something like contrast with the foregoing is this we now select from a number of the same paper in December of the same year:—

Here we are, face to face with one of the brightest names in England's poetry scene. This work is almost lost among a range of oddly and sometimes aggressively titled controversial pieces that filled the press at that time. The poet seemed to sense what was coming and made a sincere effort to voice his concerns. We can imagine the impact it had on the eager crowds, anxiously waiting for the upcoming change and ready to do anything as long as it meant their needs were met. In somewhat of a contrast to what we just discussed, here’s another selection from the same publication in December of the same year:—

George Weale, a Cornish youth, about 18 or 19 years of age, serving as an Apprentice at Kingston, with one Mr Weale, an Apothecary, and his Uncle, about the time of the rising of the Counties Kent and Surrey, went secretly from his said Uncle, and is conceived to have engaged in the same, and to be either dead or slain in some of those fights, having never since been heard of, either by his said Uncle or any of his Friends. If any person can give notice of the certainty of the death of the said George Weale, let him repair to the said Mr Graunt his House in Drum-alley in Drury Lane, London; he shall have twenty shillings for his pains.

GGeorge Weale, a young man from Cornwall, around 18 or 19 years old, working as an apprentice in Kingston for Mr Weale, an apothecary, and his uncle, around the time of the uprising in the Counties Kent and Surrey, secretly left his uncle and is believed to have gotten involved in the conflict, possibly dead or killed in one of those battles, as he has not been heard from since, by his uncle or any of his friends. If anyone has information about the certainty of George Weale's death, please go to the residence of Mr Graunt on Drum-alley in Drury Lane, London; you will receive twenty shillings for your trouble.

This speaks volumes for the peculiarities of the times. Nowadays, in the event of war, anxious relatives are soon put out of their suspense by means of careful bulletins and regular returns of killed and wounded; but who can tell the amount of heart-sickness and hope deferred engendered by the “troubles” of the seventeenth century, or of anxious thought turned towards corpses mouldering far away, among whom was most likely George Weale, perhaps the only one of the obscure men slain in “some of those fights,” whose name has been rescued from oblivion.

This highlights the unique challenges of the times. Today, when war occurs, worried family members are quickly reassured by regular updates and lists of the deceased and injured. But who can measure the heartache and delayed hope caused by the "troubles" of the seventeenth century, or the anxious thoughts directed toward bodies decaying far away, among whom was probably George Weale, likely the only one of the lesser-known individuals killed in "some of those fights," whose name has been saved from being forgotten.

In 1660 we find Milton again in the hands of his publisher, just at the time when the Restoration was considered complete, alone amid the pack that were ready to fall down[104] before the young King, who was to do so much to prove the value of monarchy as compared with the Commonwealth. “The advertisements,” says a writer, referring to this period, “which appeared during the time that Monk was temporising and sounding his way to the Restoration, form a capital barometer of the state of feeling among political men at that critical juncture. We see no more of the old Fifth-Monarchy spirit abroad. Ministers of the steeple-houses evidently see the storm coming, and cease their long-winded warnings to a backsliding generation. Every one is either panting to take advantage of the first sunshine of royal favour, or to deprecate its wrath, the coming shadow of which is clearly seen. Meetings are advertised of those persons who have purchased sequestered estates, in order that they may address the King to secure them in possession; Parliamentary aldermen repudiate by the same means charges in the papers that their names are to be found in the list of those persons who ‘sat upon the tryal of the late King;’ the works of ‘late’ bishops begin again to air themselves in the Episcopal wind that is clearly setting in; and ‘The Tears, Sighs, Complaints, and Prayers of the Church of England’ appear in the advertising columns, in place of the sonorous titles of sturdy old Baxter’s works. It is clear there is a great commotion at hand; the leaves are rustling, and the dust is moving.” In the midst of this, however, there was one still faithful to the “old cause,” as Commonwealth matters had got to be called by the Puritans; and on the 8th of March, just when the shadow of the sceptre was once again thrown upon Great Britain, we find the following in the Mercurius Politicus:—

In 1660, we find Milton once again with his publisher, right when the Restoration was considered complete, standing alone among those ready to bow down[104] before the young King, who would do much to demonstrate the value of monarchy compared to the Commonwealth. “The advertisements,” a writer notes about this time, “that appeared while Monk was maneuvering and feeling his way to the Restoration serve as a great barometer of the political sentiment during that critical moment. The old Fifth-Monarchy spirit is nowhere to be seen. Ministers of the steeple-houses clearly sense the approaching storm and stop their long-winded warnings to a backsliding generation. Everyone is either eager to seize the first signs of royal favor or to avoid its wrath, the shadow of which is clearly in sight. Meetings are being advertised for those who have purchased sequestered estates so they can petition the King to secure their ownership; Parliamentary aldermen deny through the same means accusations in the papers that their names are on the list of those who ‘sat on the trial of the late King;’ the works of ‘late’ bishops are beginning to circulate again in the Episcopal air that is clearly shifting; and ‘The Tears, Sighs, Complaints, and Prayers of the Church of England’ show up in the ads, replacing the grand titles of sturdy old Baxter’s works. It’s clear that a major upheaval is approaching; the leaves are rustling, and the dust is stirring.” Yet amidst this, there remained one who was still loyal to the “old cause,” as Commonwealth issues had come to be referred to by the Puritans; and on March 8th, just as the shadow of the sceptre was cast upon Great Britain again, the following was found in the Mercurius Politicus:—

THE ready and easie way to establish a free Commonwealth, and the excellence thereof compared with the inconveniences and dangers of readmitting Kingship in this Nation. The Author, J. M. Wherein, by reason of the Printer’s haste, the Errata not coming in time, it is desired that the following faults may be amended. Page 9, line 32, for the Areopagus read of Areopagus. P. 10, l. 3, for full Senate, true Senate; l. 4, for fits, is the whole Aristocracy; l. 7, for Provincial States, States of every City. P. 17, l. 29, for cite, citie; l. 30, for left, felt. Sold by Livewel Chapman, at the Crown, in Pope’s-head Alley.

THE easy and straightforward way to establish a free Commonwealth, and the advantages of it compared to the problems and risks of bringing back monarchy in this nation. The Author, J. M. Because of the Printer’s urgency, the corrections didn’t arrive in time, so the following errors should be fixed. Page 9, line 32, change the Areopagus to of Areopagus. P. 10, l. 3, change full Senate to true Senate; l. 4, change fits to the whole Aristocracy; l. 7, change Provincial States to States of every City. P. 17, l. 29, change cite to citie; l. 30, change left to felt. Sold by Livewel Chapman, at the Crown, in Pope’s-head Alley.

Numb. 2.

Numb. 2.

The Weekly Account:

The Weekly Update:

Containing,

Containing,

Certain Special and Remarkable Passages
from both Houses of Parliament; And

Collections of severall Letters from the
Armies.

Some Unique and Noteworthy Sections
from both Houses of Parliament; And

Collections of different letters from the
military.

This Account is Licensed, and Entred into the Register-Book of the
Company of Stationers; And Printed by Bernard Alsop,
According to Order of Parliament.

This Account is licensed and entered into the register book of the
Company of Stationers; and printed by Bernard Alsop,
according to the order of Government assembly.

From Wednesday the 6. of Jan. to Wednesday the 13. of January. 1646.

From Wednesday, January 6th to Wednesday, January 13th, 1646.

WEDNESDAY, January 13.

WEDNESDAY, January 13th.

capital T

He Commissioners appointed by the Parliament to go to the North, and receive the Kings Person, and then conduct him to Holmsby house, are these
The Earle of Pembroke.
The E. of Denbigh.
The L. Montague.
Sir Iohn Holland.
Sir Waker Earl.
Sir Iohn Cook.
Sir Iames Harrington.
Major Gen. Brown.
Mr. Iohn Crew.

The commissioners appointed by the Parliament to go to the North, meet the King in person, and then take him to Holmsby House are:
The Earl of Pembroke.
The Earl of Denbigh.
The Lord Montague.
Sir John Holland.
Sir Waker Earl.
Sir John Cook.
Sir James Harrington.
Major General Brown.
Mr. John Crew.

Two Ministers, viz. Mr. Marshal, and Mr. Carol, go with the Commissioners.

Two Ministers, namely Mr. Marshal and Mr. Carol, accompany the Commissioners.

The Commissioners to the Scots Army, are the Earl of Stamford.

The Commissioners for the Scots Army are the Earl of Stamford.

BMr.

BMr.

Facsimile of newspaper page

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ of news page

[105]

[105]

Who would think, while reading these calm corrections, that the poet knew he was in imminent danger, and that in a couple of months he was to be a proscribed fugitive, hiding in the purlieus of Westminster from Royalty’s myrmidons? Yet it was so, and the degradation to which literature may be submitted is proved by the fact that within the same space of time his works were, in accordance with an order of the House of Commons, burned by the hangman.

Who would think, while reading these gentle edits, that the poet knew he was in serious danger, and that in a few months he would become a wanted fugitive, hiding in the outskirts of Westminster from the King’s men? Yet it was true, and the humiliation that literature can endure is shown by the fact that within the same timeframe, his works were burned by the executioner, following an order from the House of Commons.

The excessive loyalty exhibited about this time by the lawyers, who were then, as now, quite able to look after their own interests, shows in rather a ludicrous light, viewed through the zealous officiousness of Mr Nicholas Bacon, who must have been the fountspring of the following effusion, which appears in a June, 1660, number of the Mercurius Politicus:—

The extreme loyalty shown at that time by the lawyers, who were just as capable of taking care of their own interests as they are today, comes off as quite absurd, especially when seen through the enthusiastic meddling of Mr. Nicholas Bacon, who must have been the source of the following outpouring that appears in a June 1660 issue of the Mercurius Politicus:—

WHEREAS one Capt. Gouge, a witness examined against the late King’s Majesty, in those Records stiled himself of the Honorable Society of Gray’s Inne. These are to give notice that the said Gouge, being long sought for, was providentially discovered in a disguise, seized in that Society, and now in custody, being apprehended by the help of some spectators that knew him, viewing of a banner with His Majesties arms, set up just at the same time of His Majesties landing, on an high tower in the same Society, by Nicholas Bacon, Esq., a member thereof, as a memorial of so great a deliverance, and testimony of his constant loyalty to His Majesty, and that the said Gouge upon examination confessed, That he was never admitted not so much as a Clerk of that Society.

WWHEREAS one Capt. Gouge, a witness examined against the late King, referred to himself in those records as part of the Honorable Society of Gray’s Inn. This is to inform you that the said Gouge, who had been long sought after, was unexpectedly found in disguise, captured in that Society, and is now in custody, having been identified by some onlookers who recognized him while he was viewing a banner with His Majesty's coat of arms, which was displayed at the same time as His Majesty's landing, on a high tower in that Society, by Nicholas Bacon, Esq., a member of the Society, as a reminder of such a great deliverance, and to show his unwavering loyalty to His Majesty. During the examination, the said Gouge confessed that he was never admitted, not even as a Clerk, to that Society.

The King does not seem to have enjoyed his own very long before he was subjected to loss by the dog-stealers, who, less ready to revere royalty than the lawyers, led to the publication of the following in the Mercurius Publicus of June 28, 1660:—

The King doesn't seem to have enjoyed his position for long before he faced loss from the dog thieves, who, less inclined to respect royalty than the lawyers, prompted the following to be published in the Mercurius Publicus on June 28, 1660:—

[106]

[106]

A Smooth Black DOG, less than a Grey-hound, with white under his breast, belonging to the Kings Majesty, was taken from Whitehall, the eighteenth day of this instant June, or thereabouts. If any one can give notice to John Ellis, one of his Majesties servants, or to his Majesties Back-Stairs, shall be well rewarded for their labour.

A smooth black dog, smaller than a greyhound, with a white patch on his chest, belonging to the King, was taken from Whitehall on or around the eighteenth of this month, June. Anyone who can provide information to John Ellis, one of the King's servants, or to the King's backstairs, will be well rewarded for their efforts.

And one who could very probably afford to be despoiled still less—one of the poor Cavaliers who expected so much from the representative of Divine right, and who were to be so terribly disappointed—is also victimised, his whole stock of bag and baggage being annexed by some of those vagabonds who only see in any public excitement a means to their own enrichment at the expense of others. Fancy the state of mind of the elderly gentleman who is so anxious to present himself at Court, while waiting the return of the articles thus advertised in the Mercurius Publicus of July 5, 1660:—

And someone who could probably afford to be taken advantage of even less—one of the struggling Cavaliers who had high hopes from the representative of Divine right, only to end up deeply disappointed—is also a victim, as his entire collection of belongings gets stolen by some of those opportunists who see any public unrest as a way to enrich themselves at the expense of others. Imagine the mindset of the older gentleman who is eager to present himself at Court while waiting for the return of the items advertised in the Mercurius Publicus on July 5, 1660:—

A LEATHERN Portmantle lost at Sittingburn or Rochester, when his Majesty came thither, wherein was a suit of Camolet Holland, with two little laces in a seam, eight pair of white Gloves, and a pair of Does leather; about twenty yards of skie-colourd Ribbon twelvepenny broad, and a whole piece of black Ribbon tenpenny broad, a cloath lead-coloured cloak, with store of linnen; a pair of shooes, slippers, a Montero, and other things; all which belong to a gentleman (a near servant to His Majesty) who hath been too long imprisoned and sequestered to be now robbed, when all men hope to enjoy their own. If any can give notice, they may leave word with Mr Samuel Merne, His Majesties Book-binder, at his house in Little Britain, and they shall be thankfully rewarded.

A LEATHER Portmanteau lost at Sittingburn or Rochester, when the King arrived there, which contained a suit of Camolet Holland, with two small laces in a seam, eight pairs of white gloves, and a pair of doe leather shoes; about twenty yards of sky-colored ribbon twelve pennies wide, and a full roll of black ribbon ten pennies wide, a lead-colored cloak, with plenty of linen; a pair of shoes, slippers, a Montero hat, and other items; all belonging to a gentleman (a close servant to His Majesty) who has been imprisoned and isolated for far too long to now be robbed, especially when everyone hopes to get back their own. If anyone has any information, they can leave a message with Mr Samuel Merne, His Majesty's Bookbinder, at his house in Little Britain, and they will be gratefully rewarded.

This Mercurius Publicus from which we have just quoted is said to be the Politicus we have mentioned in reference to earlier advertisements, which turned courtier in imitation of the general example, and changed its name also in emulation of popular practice. All England seemed then to have gone mad with excessive loyalty, and it is no wonder that Charles was surprised that he could have been persuaded to stop away so long. The columns of the Mercurius Publicus were placed entirely under the direction of the King, and instead of the slashing articles against malignants,[107] which were wont to appear before its change of title, it contains, under Restoration dates, virulent attacks upon the Puritans, and inquiries after his Majesty’s favourite dogs, which had a curious knack of becoming stolen or lost. In addition to the canine advertisement already given, we take the following, which appears during July, and which would seem to have been dictated, if not actually written, by Charles:—

This Mercurius Publicus that we just quoted is said to be the Politicus we previously mentioned regarding earlier advertisements, which became a courtier to mimic the general trend and changed its name to follow popular practice. It seemed like all of England had gone crazy with excessive loyalty, and it's no surprise that Charles was amazed he had been convinced to stay away for so long. The columns of the Mercurius Publicus were completely under the King's control, and instead of the sharp articles against the critics, [107] which used to appear before its name change, it now includes, under restoration dates, harsh attacks on the Puritans and inquiries about his Majesty's favorite dogs, which had a strange tendency to get stolen or go missing. Along with the dog advertisement we’ve already mentioned, we provide the following, which appeared in July and seems to have been dictated, if not actually written, by Charles:—

We must call upon you again for a Black Dog, between a Grey-hound and a Spaniel, no white about him, onely a streak on his Brest, and Tayl a little bobbed. It is His Majesties own Dog, and doubtless was stoln, for the Dog was not born nor bred in England, and would never forsake his Master. Whosoever findes him may acquaint any at Whitehal, for the Dog was better known at Court than those who stole him. Will they never leave robbing His Majesty? must he not keep a Dog? This Dogs place (though better than some imagine) is the only place which nobody offers to beg.

We need to ask for your help again for a Black Dog, which is a mix between a Greyhound and a Spaniel, with no white on him, just a streak on his chest, and a slightly bobbed tail. This is the King's own Dog, and he was definitely stolen, as the Dog was neither born nor raised in England, and would never leave his Master. Whoever finds him should inform someone at Whitehall, because the Dog was better known at Court than the people who took him. Will they ever stop stealing from His Majesty? Does he not deserve to have a Dog? This Dog's position (though better than some think) is the only one that nobody bothers to beg for.

This is evidently the dog advertised before, and seems to have been an especial favourite with the merry monarch, who, one might think, would have had so many dogs that he could not possibly have missed an individual from their number. Pepys about this time describes the King, with a train of spaniels and other dogs at his heels, lounging along and feeding the water-fowl in the Park; and on later occasions he was often seen talking to his favourite Nell Gwyn as she leaned from her garden wall in Pall Mall, whilst his four-footed favourites were grouped about. It was possibly on these occasions that the gentlemen who have such an extraordinary faculty for “finding” dogs, even unto this day, saw their opportunities, and marched off with the choicest specimens. Certainly the dogs were being constantly lost, and just as constantly advertised. In turn we find him inquiring after “a little brindled grey-hound bitch, having her two hinder feet white;” for a “white-haired spaniel, smooth-coated, with large red or yellowish spots;” and for a “black mastiff dog, with cropped[108] ears and cut tail.” So it would seem that, fond as his Majesty was of dogs, he was not above their being cropped and trimmed in the manner which has of late years caused all the forces of a well-known society to be arrayed against the “fancy” and the “finders.” And not alone did the King advertise his lost favourites. As the fashion was set, so it was followed, and the dogmen’s lives must then have been cast in pleasant places indeed, for Prince Rupert, “my lord Albemarle,” the Duke of Buckingham, and many other potent seigniors, are constantly inquiring after strayed or stolen animals. The change in the general habits of the time is very clearly shown by these advertisements. The Puritans did not like sporting animals of any kind, and it has been said that no dog would have followed a Fifth-Monarchy man. Perhaps this dislike accounts for the total absence of all advertisements having reference to field-sports, or to animals connected therewith, until the return of the Court to England. With its return came in once more an aristocratic amusement which had faded out during the stern days of the Commonwealth, hawking, and we are reminded of this by the following advertisement for a lost lanner, which appears in the Mercurius Publicus of September 6, 1660:—

This is clearly the same dog that was advertised before and seems to have been a particular favorite of the cheerful king, who one might think had so many dogs that he couldn't possibly notice if one went missing. Around this time, Pepys describes the king with a bunch of spaniels and other dogs trailing after him, strolling and feeding the ducks in the park; and later, he was often seen chatting with his favorite, Nell Gwyn, as she leaned over her garden wall in Pall Mall, while his beloved dogs gathered around. It’s likely that during these moments, the gentlemen who have such a knack for “finding” dogs even to this day seized their chances and walked off with the best ones. Certainly, dogs were constantly getting lost, and just as often advertised. In turn, we find him looking for “a little brindled greyhound female, with her two back feet white;” for a “smooth-coated, white-haired spaniel with large red or yellowish spots;” and for a “black mastiff dog, with cropped ears and a docked tail.” So it seems that, as much as the king loved dogs, he didn’t mind them being cropped and trimmed in a way that has recently led a well-known society to campaign against such practices and the “finders.” The king wasn't the only one advertising his lost pets. As the trend caught on, dog owners must have been living much easier lives since Prince Rupert, “my lord Albemarle,” the Duke of Buckingham, and many other powerful figures were constantly asking about lost or stolen animals. The shift in the general habits of the time is very clear from these ads. The Puritans didn’t care for sporting animals at all, and it's been said that no dog would have followed a Fifth Monarchist. Maybe that dislike explains the complete lack of advertisements related to field sports or animals connected to them until the court returned to England. With their return came back an upper-class pastime that had faded during the harsh days of the Commonwealth: hawking, and we’re reminded of this by the following advertisement for a lost lanner that appeared in the Mercurius Publicus on September 6, 1660:—

Richard Finney, Esquire, of Alaxton, in Leicestershire, about a fortnight since, lost a Lanner from that place; she hath neither Bells nor Varvels; she is a white Hawk, and her long feathers and sarcels are both in the blood. If any one can give tidings thereof to Mr Lambert at the Golden Key in Fleet-street, they shall have forty shillings for their pains.

Richard Finney, Esq., from Alaxton in Leicestershire, lost a Lanner about two weeks ago. She has no bells or tags; she's a white hawk, and both her long feathers and tail are in great condition. If anyone has information about her, please contact Mr. Lambert at the Golden Key on Fleet Street, and you will receive forty shillings for your help.

If it be true that the Mercurius changed its name from Politicus to Publicus out of compliment to the new King and his Court, second thoughts seem to have been taken, and the original name resumed, for there is a Mercurius Politicus in November 1660, from which is the following:—

If it's true that the Mercurius changed its name from Politicus to Publicus as a nod to the new King and his Court, it seems they've reconsidered and gone back to the original name, because there was a Mercurius Politicus in November 1660, from which is the following:—

Gentlemen, you are desired to take notice, That Mr Theophilus Buckworth doth at his house on Mile-end Green make and expose to sale, for the publick good, those so famous Lozenges or[109] Pectorals, approved for the cure of Consumption, Coughs, Catarrhs, Asthmas, Hoarseness, Strongness of Breath, Colds in general, Diseases incident to the Lungs, and a sovoraign Antidote against the Plague, and all other contagious Diseases, and obstructions of the Stomach: And for more convenience of the people, constantly leaveth them sealed up with his coat of arms on the papers, with Mr Rich. Lowndes (as formerly), at the sign of the White Lion, near the little north door of Pauls Church; Mr Henry Seile, over against S. Dunstan’s Church in Fleet Street; Mr William Milward, at Westminster Hall Gate; Mr John Place, at Furnivals Inn Gate in Holborn; and Mr Robert Horn, at the Turk’s Head near the entrance of the Royal Exchange, Booksellers, and no others.

Ggentlemen, please note that Mr Theophilus Buckworth is selling his famous Lozenges or Pectorals at his house on Mile-end Green. These are highly regarded for treating Consumption, Coughs, Catarrhs, Asthmas, Hoarseness, Shortness of Breath, general Colds, lung-related diseases, and serve as a strong Antidote against the Plague and other contagious diseases, as well as stomach obstructions. To make it easier for the public, he seals them up with his coat of arms on the packaging, available from Mr Rich. Lowndes (as before) at the sign of the White Lion, near the small north door of Pauls Church; Mr Henry Seile, across from S. Dunstan’s Church in Fleet Street; Mr William Milward, at Westminster Hall Gate; Mr John Place, at Furnivals Inn Gate in Holborn; and Mr Robert Horn, at the Turk’s Head near the Royal Exchange entrance, who are the only authorized sellers.

This is published to prevent the designs of divers Pretenders, who counterfeit the said Lozenges, to the disparagement of the said Gentleman, and great abuse of the people.

This is published to stop the plans of various impostors who fake the mentioned Lozenges, harming the reputation of the Gentleman and greatly misleading the public.

It will be seen from this that quack medicines are by no means modern inventions—in fact, the wonder is, if our ancestors took a tithe of the articles advertised, that there is any present generation at all; so numerous and, even according to their own showing, powerful were the specifics advertised on every possible opportunity and in connection with every possible disease. As, however, we shall devote special space to charlatans further on, we will here simply pass to the following, which promises rather too much for the price. This is also in the Mercurius Politicus, and appears in December 1660:—

It’s clear that fake medicines are not just a modern issue—in fact, it’s surprising that if our ancestors used even a fraction of the products that were advertised, there’s any current generation left at all; the number and, even by their own admission, effectiveness of the cures promoted at every opportunity for every conceivable illness were overwhelming. However, since we’ll focus specifically on charlatans further on, we’ll move on to the next one, which promises quite a lot for the price. This is also found in the Mercurius Politicus, published in December 1660:—

MOST Excellent and Approved Dentifrices to scour and cleanse the Teeth, making them white as Ivory, preserves from the Toothach; so that, being constantly used, the parties using it are never troubled with the Toothach; it fastens the Teeth, sweetens the Breath, and preserves the mouth and gums from Cankers and Imposthumes. Made by Robert Turner, Gentleman; and the right are onely to be had at Thomas Rookes, Stationer, at the Holy Lamb at the East end of St Pauls Church, near the School, in sealed papers, at 12d. the paper.

MOST Excellent and Approved Dentifrices to scrub and clean the Teeth, making them as white as Ivory, prevents Toothaches; so that, when used regularly, people who use it are never bothered with Toothaches; it strengthens the Teeth, freshens the Breath, and protects the mouth and gums from Sores and Infections. Made by Robert Turner, Gentleman; and the rights are only available at Thomas Rookes, Stationer, at the Holy Lamb at the East end of St Paul's Church, near the School, in sealed packets, at 12d. each.

The Reader is desired to beware of counterfeits.

The reader is advised to watch out for fakes.

We can now mark the advent of those monstrous flowing wigs which were in fashion for nearly a century, and may be fairly assumed to have made their appearance about[110] the date of this advertisement, which was published in the Newes of February 4, 1663:—

We can now note the beginning of those huge, flowing wigs that were popular for almost a century, and it's likely they started to appear around the time of this advertisement, which was published in the Newes on February 4, 1663:—

WHEREAS George Grey, a Barber and Perrywigge-maker, over against the Greyhound Tavern, in Black Fryers, London, stands obliged to serve some particular Persons of eminent Condition and Quality in his way of Employment: It is therefore Notifyed at his desire, that any one having long flaxen hayr to sell may repayr to him the said George Grey, and they shall have 10s. the ounce, and for any other long fine hayr after the Rate of 5s. or 7s. the ounce.

WHEREAS George Grey, a barber and wig maker, located across from the Greyhound Tavern in Black Friars, London, is required to serve certain distinguished individuals of high status in his trade: It is therefore announced at his request that anyone with long flaxen hair to sell may come to see him, the said George Grey, and they will receive £1 for every ounce, and for any other long fine hair, they will be paid between 5s. and 7s. per ounce.

Pepys, in his quaint and humorous manner, describes how Chapman, a periwig-dresser, cut off his hair to make up one of these immense coverings for him, much to the trouble of his servants, Jane and Bessy. He also states that “two perriwiggs, one whereof cost me £3 and the other 40s.,” have something to do with the depletion of his ready money on the 30th of October 1663. On November 2nd, he says, “I heard the Duke [Buckingham] say that he was going to wear a perriwigg; and they say the King also will. I never till this day observed that the King is mighty gray.” And then on Lord’s day, November 8th, he says, with infinite quaintness, “To church, where I found that my coming in a perriwigg did not prove so strange as I was afraid it would, for I thought that all the church would presently have cast their eyes all upon me.” Pepys was, it seems, possessed of that rather unpleasant consciousness which prompts a man who wears anything new or strange for the first time to believe that all the world, even that portion of it which has never seen him before, knows he feels anxious and uncomfortable because he has got new clothes on. The price, ten shillings the ounce, shows that there must have been an exceptionally heavy demand for flaxen colour by the wearers of the new-fashioned wigs. Judging by the advertisements just quoted, as well as by those which follow, there can be no controverting the statement that the reign of Charles II. “was characterised by frivolous amusements and by a love of dress and vicious[111] excitement, in the midst of which pestilence stalked like a mocking fiend, and the great conflagration lit up the masquerade with its lurid and angry glare. Together with the emasculate tone of manners, a disposition to personal violence stained the latter part of this and the succeeding reign. The audacious seizure of the crown jewels by Blood; the attack upon the Duke of Ormond by the same desperado, that nobleman having actually been dragged from his coach in St James’s Street in the evening, and carried, bound upon the saddle-bow of Blood’s horse, as far as Hyde Park Corner, before he could be rescued; the slitting of Sir John Coventry’s nose in the Haymarket by the King’s guard; and the murder of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey on Primrose Hill, are familiar instances of the prevalence of this lawless spirit.” There is still one other memorable and dastardly assault to note, that on “Glorious John,” and we shall do so in due course.

Pepys, in his quirky and humorous way, talks about how Chapman, a wig-maker, cut off his hair to create one of these huge wigs for him, which caused a lot of trouble for his servants, Jane and Bessy. He also mentions that “two wigs, one of which cost me £3 and the other 40s.,” contributed to his dwindling cash on October 30, 1663. On November 2, he says, “I heard the Duke [Buckingham] say that he was going to wear a wig; and they say the King will too. I never noticed until today how gray the King is.” Then on Sunday, November 8, he remarks, with great charm, “To church, where I found that coming in a wig wasn’t as strange as I feared it would be, because I thought everyone in church would immediately look at me.” It seems that Pepys had that rather uncomfortable awareness that makes someone wearing something new or unusual for the first time feel like the whole world, even those who’ve never seen him before, knows he’s anxious and awkward because he’s in new clothes. The price of ten shillings per ounce indicates a high demand for light-colored wigs among the wearers of the latest fashion. Based on the advertisements mentioned, as well as those that follow, it’s clear that the reign of Charles II “was marked by trivial pastimes and a passion for fashion and depraved excitement, all while disease lurked like a mocking specter and the great fire illuminated the festivities with its fierce and angry glow. Along with the effeminate social norms, a tendency toward personal violence tainted the latter part of this and the next reign. The bold theft of the crown jewels by Blood; the attack on the Duke of Ormond by the same criminal, who had actually pulled the nobleman from his carriage in St. James's Street that evening and carried him, tied across the saddle of Blood’s horse, as far as Hyde Park Corner before he could be saved; the slitting of Sir John Coventry’s nose in the Haymarket by the King’s guard; and the murder of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey on Primrose Hill are well-known examples of this lawless spirit.” There is still one other notable and disgraceful attack to mention, that on “Glorious John,” and we shall do so in due course.

The London Gazette now appears upon the scene, and this is noticeable, because of all the papers started before, or for a very considerable time after, this is the only one which has still an existence. It has been stated by some writers to have first appeared at Oxford during the time the Court took up its abode there, while the Great Plague was raging, but that this was not so is shown by the following, which is extracted from the London Gazette of January 22, 1664, nearly twelve months before the outbreak of the Plague. The fact is that during the residence of the King and Court at Oxford, the official organ changed its title, and was called the Oxford Gazette, to resume its original name as soon as it resumed its original publishing office.[26]

The London Gazette has now entered the scene, and this is significant because, out of all the newspapers that were started before or quite a while after, it is the only one that still exists today. Some writers have claimed that it first appeared in Oxford while the Court was staying there during the Great Plague, but this is disproven by the following excerpt from the London Gazette dated January 22, 1664, nearly a year before the Plague broke out. In fact, when the King and Court resided in Oxford, the official publication changed its name to the Oxford Gazette, only to revert to its original title once it returned to its original publishing location. [26]

[112]

[112]

A TRUE representation of the Rhonoserous and Elephant, lately brought from the East Indies to London, drawn after the life, and curiously engraven in Mezzotinto, printed upon a large sheet of paper. Sold by Pierce Tempest, at the Eagle and Child in the Strand, over against Somerset House, Water Gate.

A TRUE depiction of the Rhinoceros and Elephant, recently brought from the East Indies to London, created from life, and intricately engraved in Mezzotinto, printed on a large sheet of paper. Available from Pierce Tempest, at the Eagle and Child in the Strand, opposite Somerset House, Water Gate.

The ignorance of natural history at this time seems to have been somewhat marvellous, and anything in the way of a collection of curiosities was sure to attract a credulous multitude, as is shown by another notice, published in the News of a date close to that of the foregoing. The articles are rather scanty, to be sure, but probably the “huge thighbone of a giant,” whatever it was in reality, was in itself sufficient to attract, to say nothing of the mummy and torpedo.

The lack of knowledge about natural history at this time seems pretty amazing, and any collection of curiosities was sure to draw in a gullible crowd, as indicated by another notice published in the News around the same time as the previous one. The items are a bit limited, but likely the “huge thighbone of a giant,” whatever it actually was, was enough to capture attention, not to mention the mummy and the torpedo.

AT the Mitre, near the west end of St Paul’s, is to be seen a rare Collection of Curiosityes, much resorted to and admired by persons of great learning and quality; among which a choyce Egyptian Mummy, with hieroglyphicks; the Ant-Beare of Brasil; a Remora; a Torpedo; the Huge Thighbone of a Giant; a Moon Fish; a Tropic Bird, &c.

AT the Mitre, near the west end of St Paul’s, there’s a unique collection of curiosities that attracts and fascinates many learned and high-status individuals. Among these items are a choice Egyptian mummy with hieroglyphs, a Brazilian ant-bear, a remora fish, a torpedo fish, a giant’s huge thighbone, a moonfish, a tropic bird, etc.

Evidently something must have been known of mummies, or how could the exhibitor tell that his was a choice one? Our next item introduces us to one of those old beliefs which are still to be found in remote parts of the country. The King, like any mountebank or charlatan, advertises the time when he will receive, for the purpose of giving the royal touch, supposed to be sufficient to cure the horrible distemper. Surely he of all people must have known how futile was the experiment; and it is passing strange that a people who had tried, condemned, and executed one king like any common man, should have put faith in such an announcement as that published in the Public Intelligencer of May 1664, which runs as follows:—

Evidently, there must have been some knowledge about mummies, or how else could the exhibitor claim his was a rare find? Our next topic introduces us to one of those old beliefs that still exist in remote areas of the country. The King, much like any fraud or trickster, promotes the times when he will receive people, intending to give the royal touch, which is thought to be enough to cure the dreadful disease. Surely, he must have known how useless that experiment was; and it’s quite strange that a people who had tried, judged, and executed one king like any ordinary person would believe in such an announcement as that published in the Public Intelligencer of May 1664, which reads as follows:—

WHITEHALL, May 14, 1664. His Sacred Majesty, having declared it to be his Royal will and purpose to continue the healing of his people for the Evil during the Month of May, and then to[113] give over till Michaelmas next, I am commanded to give notice thereof, that the people may not come up to Town in the Interim and lose their labour.

WWHITEHALL, May 14, 1664. His Sacred Majesty has announced his Royal intention to continue treating his people for the illness throughout the month of May, and then to take a break until Michaelmas. I have been instructed to inform you, so the people don’t travel to the city in the meantime and waste their efforts.

Surely such men as Sedley, Rochester, Buckingham, and even Charles himself, must have laughed at the infatuation of the multitude; for if ever there was a king whose touch was less likely than another’s to cure the evil, that king was, in our humble opinion, “his Sacred Majesty” Charles II. But then people were prepared to go any lengths to make up for their shortcomings in the previous reign. There was possibly a political significance about these manifestations of royal ability and clemency, and some enthusiasts, who believe devoutly in the triumph of mind over matter, think there is reason to believe in the efficacy of the touch in scrofulous affections, and even believe that people did really recover after undergoing the process. Dr Tyler Smith, who has written on the subject, boldly states his belief that the emotion felt by these poor stricken people who came within the influence of the King’s “Sacred Majesty” acted upon them as a powerful tonic; though, as the King always bestowed a gold piece upon the patient, we think that if good was derived, it was derived from the comfort procured by that—for those who suffered and believed were generally in the lowest and poorest rank of life—and perhaps travelling and change of air had something to do with it as well. If the arguments of those who believe in the emotional effect are to be admitted, it must be allowed by parity of reasoning that where the touch failed, its failure would be likely to cause the sufferers to become rabid republicans, the Divine right having refused to exhibit itself. Maybe these latter symptoms, like the symptoms of other diseases, did not develop in the individual, but came out in course of generations, which may perhaps account for the large amount of democracy which has exhibited itself during the present century. There is certainly something rather ludicrous in the fact that the practice of touching[114] for the evil ceased with the death of Anne; not because the people had become more enlightened, but because the sovereigns who followed her were supposed to have lost the medicinal virtue through being kings merely by Act of Parliament, and not by Divine right.

Surely, men like Sedley, Rochester, Buckingham, and even Charles himself must have laughed at the obsession of the masses; because if there was ever a king whose touch was less likely to cure the ailment, that king was, in our opinion, “his Sacred Majesty” Charles II. Yet, people were willing to go to great lengths to atone for their shortcomings during the previous reign. There may have been a political significance to these displays of royal ability and kindness, and some enthusiasts, who firmly believe in the power of the mind over matter, think there's a reason to believe in the effectiveness of the touch for scrofulous conditions, even believing that people really did recover after undergoing this process. Dr. Tyler Smith, who has written on the topic, boldly asserts that the emotion experienced by these unfortunate individuals who came under the influence of the King’s “Sacred Majesty” acted as a potent tonic; although, since the King always gave a gold coin to the patient, we think that any benefits were likely derived from the comfort provided by that—because those who suffered and believed were generally among the lowest and poorest in society—and perhaps traveling and a change of air played a role as well. If we accept the arguments of those who believe in the emotional impact, we must also acknowledge that where the touch didn’t work, its failure could lead the sufferers to become fervent republicans, since the Divine right failed to manifest. Perhaps these latter symptoms, like symptoms of other diseases, didn't arise in individuals but emerged over generations, which might explain the significant amount of democracy that has appeared in the current century. There’s definitely something rather amusing in the fact that the practice of touching[114] for the evil ended with Anne's death; not because people had become more enlightened, but because the kings that followed her were thought to have lost the healing power since they were kings solely by Act of Parliament, not by Divine right.

The reaction which set in from the strait-laced rule of the Puritans at the time of the Restoration, must have reached its height about 1664, if we may judge by the advertisements then constantly inserted, which reflect the love of pleasure and folly exhibited by all classes, as if they were anxious to make up for previous restrictions. In fact, the chief inquiries are after lacework, or valuables lost at masquerade or water party, announcements of lotteries at Whitehall, of jewels and tapestry, and other things to be sold. The following is a fair specimen of the advertisements of the time, and appears in the News of August 4, 1664:—

The reaction that started from the strict rules of the Puritans during the Restoration likely peaked around 1664, judging by the ads that were frequently published, which show the desire for pleasure and fun among all social classes, as if they were eager to make up for past restrictions. In fact, the main inquiries were about lacework or valuables lost at masquerades or parties by the water, announcements of lotteries at Whitehall, jewels, tapestries, and other items for sale. The following is a typical example of the advertisements from that time, which appeared in the News on August 4, 1664:—

LOST on the 27th July, about Boswell Yard or Drury Lane, a Ladyes picture set in gold, and three Keys, with divers other little things in a perfumed pocket. Whosoever shall give notice of or bring the said picture to Mr Charles Coakine, Goldsmith, near Staples Inne, Holborn, shall have 4 times the value of the gold for his payns.

LOST on July 27th, near Boswell Yard or Drury Lane, a lady's picture framed in gold, and three keys, along with several other small items in a scented pocket. Anyone who provides information about or returns the picture to Mr. Charles Coakine, Goldsmith, close to Staples Inn, Holborn, will receive four times its value in gold for their trouble.

There are also about this time all sorts of quack and nostrum advertisements, an “antimonial cup,” by means of which every kind of disease was to be cured, being apparently very popular. Sir Kenelm Digby, a learned knight, who is said to have feasted his wife with capons fattened upon serpents for the purpose of making her fair, advertises a book in which is shown a method of curing the severest wounds by a sympathetic powder. But even the knight’s efforts pall before the following, which will go far to show the superstitious leaven which still hung about the populace:—

Around this time, there were all kinds of quack and remedy ads, including an “antimonial cup,” which was supposedly a cure-all for every disease and was quite popular. Sir Kenelm Digby, a knowledgeable knight, is said to have fed his wife capons raised on snakes to make her beautiful; he also promoted a book that claimed to show a way to heal severe wounds using a sympathetic powder. However, even the knight's claims fade compared to the following example, which illustrates the superstitious beliefs still prevalent among the population:—

SMALL BAGGS to hang about Children’s necks, which are excellent both for the prevention and cure of the Rickets, and to ease Children in breeding of Teeth, are prepared by Mr Edmund Buckworth,[115] and constantly to be had at Mr Philip Clark’s, Keeper of the Library in the Fleet, and nowhere else, at 5 shillings a bagge.

SShopping mall Bags to hang around children's necks, which are great for both the prevention and treatment of the rickets, and to help children with teething, are made by Mr. Edmund Buckworth,[115] and can only be found at Mr. Philip Clark’s, Keeper of the Library in the Fleet, for 5 shillings each.

We see in the papers of 1665 an increased number of advertisements for lost and stolen animals, mostly those used in connection with sport; but this does not go to prove that more dogs, hawks, &c., were missing, so much as that the advantages of advertising were being discovered throughout the country; and as London was the only place in which at that time a newspaper was published, the cry after stray favourites always came up to town. Strange, indeed, are many of the advertisements about sports long since passed from amongst us, and the very phrases of which have died out of the language. It seems hard to imagine that hawks in all the glory of scarlet hoods were carried upon fair ladies’ wrists, or poised themselves when uncovered to view their prey, so late as the time of Charles II., but that it was so, an advertisement already quoted, as well as the following, shows. It is taken from the Intelligencer of November 6, 1665:—

We see in the papers from 1665 an increased number of ads for lost and stolen animals, mostly those used for sports; but this doesn’t prove that more dogs, hawks, etc., were actually missing. Instead, it shows that people were starting to realize the benefits of advertising across the country. Since London was the only place where a newspaper was being published at the time, reports of lost pets always made their way to the city. It’s strange to read many of these ads about sports that have long vanished from our culture, with phrases that have faded from our language. It’s hard to picture hawks in their vibrant scarlet hoods being carried on the wrists of elegant ladies or hovering in the air, ready to spot their prey, as recently as the time of Charles II. But this was indeed the case, as shown by an ad already quoted, as well as the following one. It’s taken from the Intelligencer of November 6, 1665:—

LOST on the 30 October, 1665, an intermix’d Barbary Tercel Gentle, engraven in Varvels, Richard Windwood, of Ditton Park, in the county of Bucks, Esq. For more particular marks—if the Varvels be taken off—the 4th feather in one of the wings Imped, and the third pounce of the right foot broke. If any one inform Sir William Roberts, Knight and Baronet (near Harrow-on-the-Hill, in the county of Middlesex), or Mr William Philips, at the King’s Head in Paternoster Row, of the Hawk, he shall be sufficiently rewarded.

LOST on October 30, 1665, a mixed Barbary Tercel Hawk, marked with Varvels, owned by Richard Windwood of Ditton Park in Bucks. For more specific identification—if the Varvels are removed—there's a broken 4th feather in one of the wings and a broken third talon on the right foot. If anyone has information about the Hawk, please contact Sir William Roberts, Knight and Baronet (near Harrow-on-the-Hill, Middlesex), or Mr. William Philips at the King’s Head in Paternoster Row, and a suitable reward will be given.

Inquiries for hawks and goshawks are by no means scarce, and so we may imagine that these implements of hunting were hardly so much to be depended upon as those from the workshop of art and not of nature, which are in use in the present day. Indeed, the falcon seemed to care much less, when once set free, for his keeper, than writers of books are prone to imagine. The King was apparently[116] no more fortunate than the rest of those who indulged in falconry, for in a copy of the London Gazette, late in 1667, the following is seen:—

Inquiries about hawks and goshawks are definitely not uncommon, so we can assume that these hunting tools were probably not as reliable as those crafted by skilled artisans, which are commonly used today. In fact, the falcon seemed to care a lot less about its keeper once it was released than many writers would like to believe. The King didn’t have any better luck than others who practiced falconry, because in a copy of the London Gazette from late 1667, the following can be found: [116]

A Sore ger Falcon of His Majesty, lost the 13 of August, who had one Varvel of his Keeper, Roger Higs, of Westminster, Gent. Whosoever hath taken her up and give notice Sir Allan Apsley, Master of His Majesties Hawks at St James’s, shall be rewarded for his paines. Back-Stairs in Whitehall.

A Sore ger Falcon of His Majesty, lost on August 13, which had a tag from its keeper, Roger Higs of Westminster, Gentleman. Whoever finds her and notifies Sir Allan Apsley, the Master of His Majesty's Hawks at St James’s, will be rewarded for their effort. Back-Stairs in Whitehall.

Sir Allan Apsley was the brother-in-law of the celebrated Colonel Hutchinson, and brother of the devoted wife whose story everybody has read. The next advertisement we shall select is published in the London Gazette of May 10, 1666, and has reference to the precautions taken to prevent the spread of the Plague. Long before this all public notices of an idle and frivolous nature have ceased, amusements seem to have lost their charm, and it is evident from a study of the advertisements alone, that some great disturbing cause is at work among the good citizens. No longer does the authorised gambling under the roof of Whitehall go on; no more are books of Anacreontics published; stopped are all the assignations but a short time back so frequent; and no longer are inquiries made after lockets and perfumed bags, dropped during amorous dalliance, or in other pursuit of pleasure. Death, it is evident, is busy at work. The quacks, and the writers of semi-blasphemous pamphlets, have it all to themselves, and doubtless batten well in this time of trouble. The Plague is busy doing its deadly work, and already the city has been deserted by all who can fly thence, and only those who are detained by duty, sickness, poverty, or the want of a clean bill of health, remain. These bills or licences to depart were only granted by the Lord Mayor, and the greatest influence often failed to obtain them, as after the Plague once showed strength it was deemed necessary to prevent by all and every means the[117] spread of the contagion throughout the country. The advertisement chosen gives a singular instance of the manner in which those who had neglected to depart early were penned within the walls:—

Sir Allan Apsley was the brother-in-law of the famous Colonel Hutchinson and the brother of the devoted wife whose story everyone knows. The next advertisement we’ll look at is from the London Gazette dated May 10, 1666, which talks about the measures taken to prevent the spread of the Plague. By this time, all public notices of a trivial and lighthearted nature have stopped, entertainment seems to have lost its appeal, and it's clear from just looking at the advertisements that something serious is affecting the good citizens. Gambling at Whitehall has come to an end; there are no more publications of Anacreontics; all romantic meetings, which were once frequent, have stopped; and no one is asking about lockets and perfume bags lost during flirtations or other pursuits of enjoyment. Death, it seems, is working hard. The con artists and writers of semi-blasphemous pamphlets have the stage to themselves and are likely profiting well in these troubled times. The Plague is actively claiming lives, and the city has been abandoned by anyone who could escape, leaving only those held back by duty, illness, poverty, or the lack of a clean bill of health. These permits to leave were only issued by the Lord Mayor, and even those with influence often couldn't secure them, as once the Plague showed its strength, it was deemed necessary to use every possible means to prevent the[117] spread of the contagion across the country. The chosen advertisement presents a remarkable example of how those who delayed their departure were trapped within the walls:—

Nicholas Hurst, an Upholsterer, over against the Rose Tavern, in Russell-street, Covent-Garden, whose Maid Servant dyed lately of the Sickness, fled on Monday last out of his house, taking with him several Goods and Household Stuff, and was afterwards followed by one Doctor Cary and Richard Bayle with his wife and family, who lodged in the same house; but Bayle having his usual dwelling-house in Waybridge, in Surrey. Whereof we are commanded to give this Public Notice, that diligent search may be made for them, and the houses in which any of their persons or goods shall be found may be shut up by the next Justice of the Peace, or other his Majesty’s Officers of Justice, and notice immediately given to some of his Majesty’s Privy Councill, or to one of his Majesty’s principal Secretaries of State.

Nnicholas Hurst, an upholsterer across from the Rose Tavern, on Russell Street, Covent Garden, had a maid who recently died from an illness. Last Monday, he fled his house, taking several belongings and household items with him. He was later followed by Dr. Cary and Richard Bayle, along with his wife and family, who lived in the same house; Bayle usually resided in Weybridge, Surrey. We are instructed to give this public notice so that a thorough search can be conducted for them, and if any of their people or belongings are found, the houses may be closed by the next Justice of the Peace or other officers of the Crown, and immediate notification given to some members of the King's Privy Council or one of the King's principal Secretaries of State.

A great demand seems at this time to have been made for an electuary much advertised as a certain preventive of the Plague, which was to be drunk at the Green Dragon, Cheapside, at sixpence a pint. This is, however, only one among hundreds of specifics which continued to be thrust upon the public in the columns of the papers, until the real deliverer of the plague-stricken people appeared—a dreadful deliverer, it is true, but the only one. The Great Fire, which commenced on the 2nd of September 1666, and destroyed thirteen thousand houses, rendering myriads of people homeless, penniless, and forlorn, had its good side, inasmuch as by it the Plague was utterly driven out of its stronghold, but not until nearly a hundred thousand persons had perished. Imagine two such calamities coming almost together; but the purgation by fire was the only one which could fairly be expected to prove effectual, as it destroyed the loathsome charnel-houses which would long have held the taint, and removed a great part of the cause which led to the power of the fell epidemic. We have in the preceding[118] chapter referred to the paucity of advertisements which appeared in reference to the new addresses of those who had been burnt out, and a writer a few years back makes the following remark upon the same subject: “Singularly enough, but faint traces of this overwhelming calamity, as it was considered at the time, can be gathered from the current advertisements. Although the entire population of the city was rendered houseless, and had to encamp in the surrounding fields, where they extemporised shops and streets, not one hint of such a circumstance can be found in the public announcements of the period. No circumstance could afford a greater proof of the little use made by the trading community of this means of publicity in the time of Charles II. If a fire only a hundredth part so destructive were to occur in these days, the columns of the press would immediately be full of the new addresses of the burnt-out shopkeepers; and those who were not even damaged by it would take care to ‘improve the occasion’ to their own advantage. We look in vain through the pages of the London Gazette of this and the following year for one such announcement: not even the tavern-keeper tells us the number of his booth in Goodman’s-fields, although quack medicine flourished away in its columns as usual.” We have already shown that one advertisement at least was published in reference to removal caused by the fire, but as it did not appear till six or seven years afterwards, it is a solitary exception to the rule, indeed. In 1667, notifications occurred now and then of some change in the site of a Government office, caused by the disturbances incident on the fire, or of the intention to rebuild by contract some public structure. Of these the following, which appears in the London Gazette, is a good specimen:—

A huge demand seems to have arisen for an electuary heavily promoted as a guaranteed preventive for the Plague, which was to be served at the Green Dragon on Cheapside for sixpence a pint. However, this is just one of hundreds of remedies that continued to be pushed onto the public through newspaper ads, until the actual solution for the plague-stricken people finally showed up—a terrifying solution, true, but the only one available. The Great Fire, which started on September 2, 1666, and destroyed thirteen thousand houses, leaving countless people homeless, broke, and desolate, had a silver lining, as it completely eliminated the Plague from its stronghold, although not until nearly a hundred thousand people had died. Imagine having two such disasters happen almost simultaneously; however, the cleansing by fire was the only method that realistically could be expected to work, as it destroyed the disgusting burial sites that would have long held the contamination, and removed a significant part of the cause that fueled the terrible epidemic. We’ve mentioned earlier[118] chapter the scarcity of advertisements referring to the new locations of those who had lost their homes in the fire, and a writer a few years later made the following observation on this topic: “Interestingly enough, only faint traces of this overwhelming disaster, as it was seen at the time, can be found in the current advertisements. Although the entire city population was made homeless and had to camp in the surrounding fields, setting up makeshift shops and streets, not a single mention of such a situation appears in the public announcements of the era. No circumstance better demonstrates the limited use of advertising by the business community during the time of Charles II. If a fire just one-hundredth as devastating were to occur today, the press would be immediately filled with new addresses of the shopkeepers who lost everything; and those who weren’t even affected would be sure to ‘capitalize on the situation’ for their own benefit. We search in vain through the pages of the London Gazette from this year and the next for such an announcement: not even the tavern owner tells us the number of his booth in Goodman’s-fields, even though advertisements for quack medicines thrived in those pages as usual.” We have already indicated that at least one advertisement was published regarding relocations due to the fire, but since it didn’t appear until six or seven years later, it is indeed a rare exception. In 1667, notifications began to appear occasionally regarding changes in the location of a Government office due to the disruptions caused by the fire, or of plans to rebuild certain public structures by contract. One such notification that appears in the London Gazette serves as a good Example:—

ALL Artificers of the several Trades that must be used in Rebuilding the Royal Exchange may take notice, that the Committee appointed for management of that Work do sit at the end of the long[119] gallery in Gresham Colledge every Monday in the forenoon, there and then to treat with such as are fit to undertake the same.

ALL Craftspeople from the various trades needed to rebuild the Royal Exchange should be aware that the committee overseeing this project meets every Monday morning at the end of the long[119] gallery in Gresham College to discuss opportunities with those qualified to take it on.

As nothing occurs in the way of advertisements worthy of remark or collection for the next few years, we will take this convenient opportunity of obtaining a brief breathing space.

As there aren't any notable advertisements worth mentioning or collecting for the next few years, we'll take this chance to catch our breath for a bit.


[26] The London Gazette was first published 22d August 1642. The first number of the existing “published-by-authority” series was imprinted first at Oxford, where the Court was stationed for fear of the Plague, on November 7, 1665, and afterwards at London on February 5, 1666.

[26] The London Gazette was first published on August 22, 1642. The first issue of the current “published-by-authority” series was printed in Oxford, where the Court had relocated due to the Plague, on November 7, 1665, and then in London on February 5, 1666.


[120]

[120]

CHAPTER 7.
END OF THE 17TH CENTURY.

Let us commence here with the year 1674, a period when the rages and fashions, the plague and fire, and the many things treated of by means of advertisements in the preceding chapter, had plunged England into a most unhappy condition. The reaction from Puritanism was great, but the reaction from royalty and extravagance threatened to be still greater. Speaking of the state of affairs about this time, a famous historian, who has paid particular attention to the latter part of the seventeenth century, says: “A few months after the termination of hostilities on the Continent, came a great crisis in English politics. Towards such a crisis things had been tending during eighteen years. The whole stock of popularity, great as it was, with which the King had commenced his administration, had long been expended. To loyal enthusiasm had succeeded profound disaffection. The public mind had now measured back again the space over which it had passed between 1640 and 1660, and was once more in the state in which it had been when the Long Parliament met. The prevailing discontent was compounded of many feelings. One of these was wounded national pride. That generation had seen England, during a few years, allied on equal terms with France, victorious over Holland and Spain, the mistress of the sea, the terror of Rome, the head of the Protestant interest. Her resources had not diminished; and it might have been expected that she would[121] have been, at least, as highly considered in Europe under a legitimate king, strong in the affection and willing obedience of his subjects, as she had been under an usurper whose utmost vigilance and energy were required to keep down a mutinous people. Yet she had, in consequence of the imbecility and meanness of her rulers, sunk so low, that any German or Italian principality which brought five thousand men into the field, was a more important member of the commonwealth of nations. With the sense of national humiliation was mingled anxiety for civil liberty. Rumours, indistinct indeed, but perhaps the more alarming by reason of their indistinctness, imputed to the Court a deliberate design against all the constitutional rights of Englishmen. It had even been whispered that this design was to be carried into effect by the intervention of foreign arms. The thought of such intervention made the blood, even of the Cavaliers, boil in their veins. Some who had always professed the doctrine of non-resistance in its full extent, were now heard to mutter that there was one limitation to that doctrine. If a foreign force were brought over to coerce the nation, they would not answer for their own patience. But neither national pride nor anxiety for public liberty had so great an influence on the popular mind as hatred of the Roman Catholic religion. That hatred had become one of the ruling passions of the community, and was as strong in the ignorant and profane as in those who were Protestants from conviction. The cruelties of Mary’s reign—cruelties which even in the most accurate and sober narrative excite just detestation, and which were neither accurately nor soberly related in the popular martyrologies—the conspiracies against Elizabeth, and above all, the Gunpowder Plot, had left in the minds of the vulgar a deep and bitter feeling, which was kept up by annual commemorations, prayers, bonfires, and processions. It should be added that those classes which were peculiarly distinguished by attachment to the throne, the clergy and the landed gentry, had peculiar reasons for[122] regarding the Church of Rome with aversion. The clergy trembled for their benefices, the landed gentry for their abbeys and great tithes. While the memory of the reign of the Saints was still recent, hatred of Popery had in some degree given place to hatred of Puritanism; but during the eighteen years which had elapsed since the Restoration, the hatred of Puritanism had abated, and the hatred of Popery had increased.... The King was suspected by many of a leaning towards Rome. His brother and heir-presumptive was known to be a bigoted Roman Catholic. The first Duchess of York had died a Roman Catholic. James had then, in defiance of the remonstrances of the House of Commons, taken to wife the Princess Mary of Modena, another Roman Catholic. If there should be sons by this marriage, there was reason to fear that they might be bred Roman Catholics, and that a long succession of princes hostile to the established faith might sit on the English throne. The constitution had recently been violated for the purpose of protecting the Roman Catholics from the penal laws. The ally by whom the policy of England had during many years been chiefly governed, was not only a Roman Catholic, but a persecutor of the Reformed Churches. Under such circumstances, it is not strange that the common people should have been inclined to apprehend a return of the times of her whom they called Bloody Mary.” Such was the unhappy state of affairs at this period, and though its effect is soon shown in the advertisement columns of the papers, one would think times were piping and peaceful indeed to read the following, extracted from the London Gazette of October 15-19, 1674:—

Let us start in the year 1674, a time when the chaos of fashion, disease, and fire, along with the many matters discussed in the previous chapter, had thrown England into a very unhappy state. The backlash against Puritanism was significant, but the backlash against royal authority and extravagance seemed even more threatening. Regarding the situation at this time, a well-known historian, who focused on the later part of the seventeenth century, states: “A few months after the end of hostilities on the Continent, a major crisis in English politics arose. This crisis had been building for eighteen years. The King had spent all the goodwill he had started with at the beginning of his reign. Loyal enthusiasm had faded into deep discontent. The public sentiment had traced back over the period between 1640 and 1660 and was once again in the same place it had been when the Long Parliament convened. The widespread discontent stemmed from many feelings, one of which was wounded national pride. That generation had witnessed England in a few years allied on equal footing with France, victorious over Holland and Spain, dominating the seas, instilling fear in Rome, and leading the Protestant cause. England's resources had not diminished; it was expected that she would, at the very least, be regarded just as highly in Europe under a legitimate king, who had the affection and willing obedience of his subjects, as she had been under an usurper who required extreme vigilance and energy to quell a rebellious populace. Yet, due to the incompetence and small-mindedness of her rulers, she had fallen so low that any German or Italian principality capable of raising five thousand men was more significant in the international community. Along with the feeling of national humiliation came a concern for civil liberty. Rumors, vague but perhaps more alarming because of their vagueness, suggested that the Court harbored a deliberate plan against all the constitutional rights of English citizens. It was even rumored that this plan involved the use of foreign military force. The thought of such intervention enraged even the Cavaliers. Some who had always preached the principle of non-resistance now expressed that there was one limit to that principle. If a foreign force were brought in to coerce the nation, they couldn’t guarantee their own pacifism. However, neither national pride nor concern for public liberty had as strong an impact on the public mindset as the hatred of the Roman Catholic faith. That hatred had become one of the dominant passions of the community, equally strong among the ignorant and irreverent as among those who were Protestants out of conviction. The horrors of Mary’s reign—atrocities which stir justified contempt even in the most painstaking accounts, and which were neither accurately nor soberly recounted in popular martyrologies—the conspiracies against Elizabeth, especially the Gunpowder Plot, had left the common people with a deep and bitter sentiment, perpetuated through annual commemorations, prayers, bonfires, and processions. It’s worth mentioning that those groups particularly loyal to the throne, the clergy and the landed gentry, had specific reasons to view the Church of Rome with contempt. The clergy feared for their benefices, and the landed gentry for their estates and large tithes. While memories of the Puritan era were still fresh, the animosity towards Catholicism had somewhat shifted to resentment towards Puritanism; however, in the eighteen years since the Restoration, animosity towards Puritanism had decreased, while animosity towards Catholicism had intensified.... Many suspected the King of having a lean towards Rome. His brother and heir presumptive was known to be a staunch Roman Catholic. The first Duchess of York had died a Roman Catholic. James had even married Princess Mary of Modena, another Roman Catholic, disregarding the objections of the House of Commons. If they had sons, there were fears that they might be raised as Catholics, and that a long line of princes hostile to the established faith might occupy the English throne. The constitution had been recently violated to protect Catholics from the penal laws. The ally that had primarily influenced England’s policy for many years was not just a Roman Catholic but also a persecutor of the Reformed Churches. Given these conditions, it’s not surprising that the common people were inclined to fear a return to the times of the ruler they called Bloody Mary.” Such was the dire state of affairs at this time, and although its impact would soon be reflected in advertisements in newspapers, one might assume times were truly calm and peaceful upon reading the following, taken from the London Gazette of October 15-19, 1674:—

WHITEHALL, October 17.—A square Diamond with his Majesty’s Arms upon it having been this day lost out of a seal in or about Whitehall, or St James’s Park or House; Any person that shall have found the same is required to bring it to William Chiffinch, Esq., Keeper of his Majesty’s Closet, and he shall have ten pounds for a Reward.

WWHITEHALL, October 17.—A square diamond featuring the King’s coat of arms was lost today from a seal in or around Whitehall, or St James’s Park or House. Anyone who finds it is asked to bring it to William Chiffinch, Esq., Keeper of the King’s Closet, and they will receive a reward of ten pounds.

Doubtless this Chiffinch, the degraded being who lived[123] but to pander to the debauched tastes of his royal and profligate employer, thought nothing of politics or of the signs of the times, and contented himself with the affairs of the Backstairs, caring little for Titus Oates, and less for his victims. Some short time after the foregoing was published (March 20-23, 1675), Chiffinch published another loss in the Gazette. This is it:—

Doubtless, this Chiffinch, the degraded individual who lived[123] solely to cater to the corrupt tastes of his royal and extravagant employer, thought nothing of politics or the events of the day, and was only concerned with the affairs of the Backstairs, caring little for Titus Oates, and even less for his victims. A short time after the previous publication (March 20-23, 1675), Chiffinch announced another loss in the Gazette. This is it:—

FLOWN out of St James’s Park, on Thursday night last, a Goose and a Gander, brought from the river Gambo in the East Indies, on the Head, Back and Wings they are of a shining black, under the Throat about the Eyes and the Belly white. They have Spurs on the pinions of the Wings, about an inch in length, the Beaks and Legs of a muddy red; they are shaped like a Muscovy Mallard, but larger and longer legg’d. Whoever gives notice to Mr Chiffinch at Whitehall, shall be well rewarded.

FLOWN out of St James’s Park, last Thursday night, a Goose and a Gander, brought from the river Gambo in the East Indies, have shiny black heads, backs, and wings, with white under the throat and around the eyes and belly. They have spurs on the wing feathers that are about an inch long, and their beaks and legs are a muddy red. They’re shaped like a Muscovy Mallard but are larger and longer-legged. Anyone who notifies Mr. Chiffinch at Whitehall will be well rewarded.

Whether the prince of pimps ever had to give the reward, we are not in a position to state; we should, however, think that his advertisement attracted little attention, for we are now in the midst of the excitement which led to the pretended plots and troubles that made every man suspect his neighbour, and when the cry of Recusant or Papist was almost fatal to him against whom it was directed. That this feeling once roused was not to be subdued even in death, is shown by a notice in the Domestick Intelligence of July 22, 1679:—

Whether the prince of pimps ever had to give the reward, we can’t say for sure; however, we should think that his advertisement didn’t get much attention, because we are currently caught up in the turmoil that led to the fake plots and troubles that made everyone suspicious of their neighbors. The accusations of Recusant or Papist could almost be a death sentence for those they were aimed at. The fact that this fear, once stirred up, couldn’t be calmed even in death is illustrated by a notice in the Domestick Intelligence from July 22, 1679:—

WHEREAS it was mentioned in the last “Intelligence” that Mr Langhorn was buried in the Temple Church, there was a mistake in it, for it was a Loyal Gentleman, one Colonel Acton, who was at that time buried by his near relations there: And Mr Langhorn was buried that day in the Churchyard of St Giles-in-the-Fields, very near the five Jesuits who were executed last.

WHEREAS it was mentioned in the last “Intelligence” that Mr Langhorn was buried in the Temple Church, there was a mistake in it, because it was a Loyal Gentleman, Colonel Acton, who was buried there by his close relatives at that time: And Mr Langhorn was actually buried that day in the Churchyard of St Giles-in-the-Fields, very close to the five Jesuits who were executed last.

John Playford, Clerke to the Temple Church.

John Playford, Clerk to the Temple Church.

Here is intolerance with a vengeance, but in the year 1679 reverence for persons or things was conspicuously absent, and this is best shown by the advertisement which was issued for the purpose of discovering the ruffians, or[124] their patron, who committed the brutal assault upon John Dryden. It appears in the London Gazette of December 22, 1679:—

Here is intolerance with a vengeance, but in 1679, respect for people or things was noticeably lacking, and this is best illustrated by the advertisement released to find the thugs, or their backer, who carried out the violent attack on John Dryden. It appears in the London Gazette of December 22, 1679:—

WHEREAS John Dryden, Esq., was on Monday, the 18th instant, at night, barbarously assaulted and wounded, in Rose Street in Covent Garden, by divers men unknown; if any person shall make discovery of the said offenders to the said Mr Dryden, or to any Justice of the Peace, he shall not only receive Fifty Pounds, which is deposited in the hands of Mr Blanchard, Goldsmith, next door to Temple Bar, for the said purpose, but if he be a principal or an accessory in the said fact, his Majesty is graciously pleased to promise him his pardon for the same.

WHEREAS John Dryden, Esq., was brutally attacked and injured on Monday night, the 18th, in Rose Street in Covent Garden, by several unknown men; anyone who provides information about these offenders to Mr. Dryden or any Justice of the Peace will not only receive Fifty Pounds, which is held by Mr. Blanchard, Goldsmith, next to Temple Bar, for this purpose, but if they were directly involved or an accessory to the crime, His Majesty generously promises to grant them a pardon.

Notwithstanding the offer of this money, it was never discovered who were the perpetrators, or who was the instigator of this cudgelling. Some fancy its promoter was Rochester, who was offended at some allusions to him in an “Essay on Satire,” written jointly by Dryden and Lord Mulgrove; while others declare that the vanity of the Duchess of Portsmouth, one of the King’s many mistresses, having been offended by a jeu d’esprit of the poet’s, she procured him a rough specimen of her favours. Others, again, have suspected Buckingham, who was never on the best of terms with Dryden, and who sat for the portrait drawn in Zimri (“Absalom and Achitophel”); but profligate and heartless libertine as Villiers was, he was above such a ruffianly reprisal. In the Domestick Intelligence of December 23, 1679, the assault is thus described: “Upon the 17th instant in the evening Mr Dryden the great poet, was set upon in Rose Street in Covent Garden, by three persons, who, calling him rogue, and son of a whore, knockt him down and dangerously wounded him, but upon his crying out murther, they made their escape; it is conceived that they had their pay beforehand, and designed not to rob him but to execute on him some Feminine, if not Popish, vengeance.” In a subsequent number of the same paper there is the following advertisement:—

Despite the offer of this money, it was never found out who the attackers were or who instigated this beating. Some believe the instigator was Rochester, who was offended by some references to him in an “Essay on Satire,” co-written by Dryden and Lord Mulgrove; others claim it was the vanity of the Duchess of Portsmouth, one of the King’s many mistresses, who, upset by a clever poem of the poet’s, arranged for him to receive a violent taste of her wrath. Still others have suspected Buckingham, who never got along well with Dryden and who served as the model for the character Zimri in “Absalom and Achitophel”; but as reckless and ruthless as Villiers was, he was above such brutish revenge. In the Domestick Intelligence from December 23, 1679, the attack is described as follows: “On the evening of the 17th, Mr. Dryden, the great poet, was set upon in Rose Street in Covent Garden by three individuals who, calling him a rogue and a son of a whore, knocked him down and seriously injured him. However, upon his shouting for help, they fled the scene; it’s believed they had been paid in advance and aimed not to rob him but to carry out some kind of Feminine, if not Popish, revenge.” In a later issue of the same paper, there is the following ad:—

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[125]

WHEREAS there has been printed of late an Advertisement about the Discovery of those who assaulted Mr Dryden, with a promise of pardon and reward to the Discoverer; For his further encouragement, this is to give notice, that if the said Discoverer shall make known the Person who incited them to that unlawful action, not only the Discoverer himself but any of those who committed the fact, shall be freed from all manner of prosecution.

WHEREAS there has been a recent advertisement about the discovery of the people who attacked Mr. Dryden, promising pardon and a reward to the informant; To further encourage this, we want to announce that if the informant reveals the person who encouraged them to commit that unlawful act, not only will the informant be pardoned, but any of those involved in the act will also be free from any form of prosecution.

As a seasonable illustration we present an exact facsimile of a newspaper containing reference to the attack. It is complete as it appears, being simply a single leaf printed back and front, and so the stories of men repeating a whole newspaper from memory are not so wonderful after all. This year (1679) is memorable among journalists as being the first which saw a rising press emancipated, a fact which is sufficiently interesting to be chronicled here, although our subject is not newspapers, but only the advertisements contained in them.[27]

As a timely example, we present an exact facsimile of a newspaper that refers to the attack. It is complete as it appears, being just a single sheet printed on both sides, so the stories of people recalling an entire newspaper from memory aren't as impressive after all. This year (1679) is significant for journalists as it marks the first time a thriving press became independent, a fact that is interesting enough to note here, even though our focus isn't on newspapers, but only on the ads found in them.[27]

During all this time it must not be supposed that the vendors of quack medicines were at all idle. No political or religious disturbance was ever allowed to interfere with them, and their notices appeared as regularly as, or if possible more regularly than, ever. In a paper we have not before met, the Mercurius Anglicus, date March 6-10, 1679-80, we are introduced for the first time to the cordial which was destined to become so popular among nurses with whom neither the natural milk nor that of human kindness was plentiful, viz., Daffy’s Elixir:—

During this entire time, we shouldn't think that the sellers of fake medicines were doing nothing. No political or religious unrest ever stopped them, and their ads appeared just as often, or even more often, than before. In a publication we haven't seen before, the Mercurius Anglicus, dated March 6-10, 1679-80, we are introduced for the first time to the tonic that would become very popular among nurses who had neither natural milk nor human kindness readily available, namely, Daffy’s Elixir: —

WHEREAS divers Persons have lately exposed to sale a counterfeit drink called Elixir Salutis, the true drink so called being first published by Mr Anthony Daffy, who is the only person that rightly and truly prepares it, he having experienced its virtues for above 20 years past, by God’s blessing curing multitudes of people[126] afflicted with various distempers therewith, the receit whereof he never communicated to any person living; and that these persons the better to colour their deceit, have reported Mr Anthony Daffy to be dead, these are to certify That the said Mr Anthony Daffy is still living and in good health, at his house in Prujean court in the old Bailey, and that only there and at such places as he has appointed in his printed sheets of his Elixir’s virtues (which printed sheets are sealed with his seal) the true Elixir Salutis or choice Cordial Drink of Health is to be sold.

WHEREAS various individuals have recently put a fake drink called Elixir of Salvation on the market, the authentic version of this drink was first created by Mr. Anthony Daffy, who is the only one that properly prepares it. He has witnessed its benefits for over 20 years, and with God's blessing, he has cured countless people suffering from different ailments with it. He has never shared the recipe with anyone. To further their deceit, these individuals have falsely claimed that Mr. Anthony Daffy is dead. This is to certify that Mr. Anthony Daffy is still alive and in good health, residing at his house in Prujean Court in the Old Bailey, and that the true Elixir of Salvation or premium Health Drink is available only there and at the locations listed in his printed materials about the drink's benefits (which printed materials are sealed with his seal).

It is noticeable that about this time people were never sure what year they were in until March, and often during that month; and this is not only so in the dates on newspapers, but is found in Pepys and other writers of the period. Some journals do not give the double date as above, for we have before us as we write two copies of the Domestick Intelligence; or, News both from City and Country, “Published to prevent false Reports,” No. 49 being dated “Tuesday, Decemb. 23, 1679;” and No. 52, “Friday, January 2, 1679.” This has not, as many people have imagined, anything to do with the difference between the New Calendar and the Old, as our alteration of style did not take place till the middle of the next century. It must have been a relic of the old Ecclesiastical year which still affects the financial budget.

It's clear that around this time, people weren't sure what year it was until March, and often even during that month. This is evident not just in the dates on newspapers but also in Pepys and other writers from that era. Some journals don't include the double date as mentioned above. We have two copies of the Domestick Intelligence; or, News both from City and Country in front of us, with No. 49 dated “Tuesday, Decemb. 23, 1679,” and No. 52 dated “Friday, January 2, 1679.” This discrepancy, as many have thought, isn’t related to the difference between the New Calendar and the Old since the change in style didn't happen until the middle of the next century. It likely stems from the old Ecclesiastical year, which still impacts the financial budget.

That the “agony column” of the present day is the result of slow and laborious growth is shown by an advertisement, cut from a Domestick Intelligence of March 1681, which contains an urgent appeal to one who has in umbrage departed from home:—

That the “agony column” of today is the product of slow and careful development is demonstrated by an advertisement taken from a Domestick Intelligence from March 1681, which includes an urgent plea to someone who has left home in anger:—

WHEREAS a Person in London on some discontent did early on Monday morning last retire from his dwelling-house and not yet return’d, it is the earnest request of several of his particular friends, that the said person would speedily repair to some or one of them, that he thinks most fit; it being of absolute necessity, for reasons he does not yet know off.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. WHEREAS a person in London, feeling unhappy, left his home early last Monday morning and hasn't come back yet. His close friends are urgently asking him to reach out to one of them as soon as possible, since it's absolutely necessary for reasons unknown to him.

An advertisement of this kind, without name or initials, might now, like the celebrated appeal to John Smith, apply[127] itself to the minds of so many who had left their families “on some discontent,” that there would be quite a stampede for home among the married men making a temporary sojourn away from the domestic hearth and its attendant difficulties. Many of them would perhaps find themselves as unwelcome as unexpected.

An ad like this, without a name or initials, might now, similar to the famous appeal to John Smith, resonate with many who had left their families “out of some dissatisfaction,” causing a rush for home among married guys temporarily away from their households and the challenges that come with them. Many of them might find themselves just as unwanted as they are surprising.

Our next selection will be interesting to those who are curious on the subject of insurance, which must have been decidedly in its infancy on July 6, 1685, the day on which the following appeared in the London Gazette:—

Our next selection will be interesting to those who are curious about insurance, which was probably in its early stages on July 6, 1685, the day the following was published in the London Gazette:—

THERE having happened a Fire on the 24th of the last month by which several houses of the friendly society were burned to the value of 965 pounds, these are to give notice to all persons of the said society that they are desired to pay at the office Faulcon Court in Fleet Street their several proportions of their said loss, which comes to five shillings and one penny for every hundred pounds insured, before the 12th of August next.

THERE was a fire on the 24th of last month that burned several houses belonging to the friendly society, causing a loss of 965 pounds. This is to notify all members of the society that they are requested to pay their share of the loss at the office on Faulcon Court in Fleet Street. Each member's contribution amounts to five shillings and one penny for every hundred pounds insured, and payments should be made before the 12th of August.

Advertisements are so far anything but plentiful, there being rarely more than two or three at most beyond the booksellers’ and quack notices; and although nowadays the columns of a newspaper are supposed to be unequalled for affording opportunities for letting houses and apartments, the hereunder notice was, at the time of its publication in the London Gazette, August 17, 1685, perfectly unique:—

Advertisements are still pretty scarce, usually only two or three at most beyond the booksellers' and scam notices. And even though today newspaper listings are thought to be the best way to find houses and apartments, the notice below was, when it was published in the London Gazette, August 17, 1685, completely unique

THE EARL of BERKELEY’S HOUSE, with Garden and Stables, in St John’s Lane, not far from Smith Field, is to be Let or Sold for Building. Enquire of Mr Prestworth, a corn chandler, near the said house, and you may know farther.

THE EARL of BERKELEY’S HOUSE, with Garden and Stables, in St John’s Lane, not far from Smith Field, is available for rent or sale for development. Contact Mr. Prestworth, a corn merchant, near the house for more information.

Any one who passes through St John’s Lane now, with its squalid tenements, dirty shops, and half-starved population, will have to be possessed of a powerful imagination indeed to picture an earl’s residence as ever standing in the dingy thoroughfare, notwithstanding the neighbourhood has the advantage of a beautiful brand-new meat-market, in place of the old cattle-pens which formerly stood on the open space in front of Bartholomew’s Hospital. Yet as[128] proof of the aristocratic meetings which used to be held in St John’s Lane, the Hospitallers’ Gate still crosses it—the gate which even after the days of chivalry had departed had still a history to make, not of bloodshed and warfare certainly, but of a connection with the highest and finest description of literature.

Anyone passing through St John’s Lane today, with its rundown buildings, dirty shops, and undernourished residents, would need a really vivid imagination to envision an earl’s residence ever standing in the gloomy street, especially since the area is now home to a shiny new meat market replacing the old cattle pens that once occupied the open space in front of Bartholomew’s Hospital. Yet, as[128] proof of the aristocratic gatherings that used to take place in St John’s Lane, the Hospitallers’ Gate still stands across it—the gate which, even after the era of chivalry had ended, still had its own story to tell, not of battles and warfare, but of a connection to the highest and finest kind of literature.

We now come to the year 1688, when advertising was more common than before, and when Charles having passed away, James held temporary possession of the throne. One, published in the Gazette of March 8, is suggestive of the religious tumult which would shortly end in his downfall:—

We now reach the year 1688, when advertising was more common than ever, and after Charles's death, James temporarily took over the throne. One ad, published in the Gazette on March 8, hints at the religious upheaval that would soon lead to his downfall:—

CATHOLIC LOYALTY, upon the Subject of Government and Obedience, delivered in a SERMON before the King and Queen, in His Majesties Chapel at Whitehall, on the 13 of June 1687, by the Revnd. Father Edward Scaraisbroke, priest of the Society of Jesus. Published by His Majesty’s Command. Sold by Raydal Taylor near Stationers Hall, London.

CCATHOLIC LOYALTY, on the Topic of Government and Obedience, presented in a SERMON before the King and Queen, in His Majesty's Chapel at Whitehall, on June 13, 1687, by the Rev. Father Edward Scaraisbroke, priest of the Society of Jesus. Published by His Majesty’s Command. Sold by Raydal Taylor near Stationers Hall, London.

Just about this period dreadful outrages were of common occurrence; men were knocked down in the street in open daylight, robbed, and murdered, and not a few deaths were the outcome of private and party hatred. Municipal law was set at defiance, and any small body of desperadoes could do as they liked unchecked, unless they happened to be providentially opposed by equal or superior force, when they generally turned tail, for their practice was not to fight so much as to beat and plunder the defenceless. Here is a notice which speaks volumes for the state of affairs. It is published in the London Gazette, and bears date March 29, 1688:—

Just around this time, terrible acts of violence were happening all the time; people were attacked in the streets in broad daylight, robbed, and killed, with many deaths resulting from personal or political grudges. Local laws were ignored, and any small group of criminals could do whatever they wanted without consequence, unless they were unexpectedly faced with equal or greater force, in which case they usually ran away, as their aim was not to fight but to beat and rob those who couldn't defend themselves. Here’s a notice that illustrates the situation. It was published in the London Gazette and is dated March 29, 1688:—

WHEREAS a Gentleman was, on the eighteenth at night, mortally wounded near Lincoln’s Inn, in Chancery Lane, in view as is supposed of the coachman that set him down: these are to give notice that the said coachman shall come in and declare his knowledge of the matter; if any other person shall discover the said coachman to John Hawles, at his chamber in Lincoln’s Inn, he shall have 5 guineas reward.

WHEREAS a man was fatally injured on the night of the eighteenth near Lincoln’s Inn, in Chancery Lane, supposedly in sight of the coachman who dropped him off: this is to inform that the mentioned coachman should come forward and share what he knows about the incident; if anyone else provides information about the coachman to John Hawles at his office in Lincoln’s Inn, they will receive a reward of 5 guineas.

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[129]

About this time some show is made on behalf of those credulous folk who believe that all highwaymen in the good old times were brave, dashing, highly educated, and extremely handsome; for we find several inquiries after robbers who, before troubles came upon them, held superior positions in society. Here is one of the year 1688:—

About this time, there's some excitement for those gullible people who think that all highwaymen back in the day were brave, stylish, well-educated, and really good-looking; because we see several questions about robbers who, before they ran into trouble, held high-status positions in society. Here's one from the year 1688:—

WHEREAS Mr Herbert Jones, Attorney-at-Law in the Town of Monmouth, well known by being several years together Under-Sheriff of the same County, hath of late divers times robbed the Mail coming from that town to London, and taken out divers letters and writs, and is now fled from justice, and supposed to have sheltered himself in some of the new-raised troops. These are to give notice that whosoever shall secure the said Herbert Jones, so as to be committed in order to answer these said crimes, may give notice thereof to Sir Thomas Fowles, goldsmith, Temple-bar, London, or to Mr Michael Bohune, mercer, in Monmouth, and shall have a guinea’s reward.

WHEREAS Mr. Herbert Jones, an attorney in the town of Monmouth, who is well-known for having served several years as Under-Sheriff of the same County, has recently robbed the mail on multiple occasions as it travels from that town to London, taking various letters and documents. He has now fled from justice and is believed to be hiding among some newly raised troops. This is to inform everyone that anyone who secures Mr. Herbert Jones for the purpose of bringing him to answer for these crimes may notify Sir Thomas Fowles, a goldsmith at Temple Bar, London, or Mr. Michael Bohune, a mercer in Monmouth, and will receive a reward of one guinea.

Mr Jones, culpable as he undoubtedly was, seems to have possessed a sense of honour, and probably he served his friends as well as himself by taking the writs from the mail. The reward offered for his apprehension is so paltry in proportion to the outcry raised, that a disinterested reader, i.e., one who has never felt the smart of highway robbery, cannot help hoping that he got clear off, or that at all events he cheated the gallows by earning a soldier’s death “in some of the new-raised troops.” Although Mr Jones was a gentleman thief, and had gentlemanly associates, he and his friends are the exceptions to the rule; for robbers generally are described as a very sad as well as a very ugly lot of reprobates. Also in the same eventful year of delivery we find the following, which appears in the London Gazette, the subject of it having evidently thought to avail himself of the disturbances of the time, but whether successfully or the reverse, does not appear:—

Mr. Jones, guilty as he clearly was, seemed to have a sense of honor, and he likely helped his friends as much as himself by taking the writs from the mail. The reward offered for his capture is so meager compared to the uproar generated that a neutral reader, i.e., someone who has never experienced the pain of highway robbery, can't help but hope he got away or, at the very least, escaped execution by earning a soldier’s death “in some of the new-raised troops.” Although Mr. Jones was a gentleman thief with gentlemanly associates, he and his friends are exceptions to the rule; robbers are generally described as a very sad and ugly group of outcasts. Also, in the same significant year of delivery, we find the following, which appears in the London Gazette, the subject having clearly attempted to take advantage of the upheaval of the time, but whether successfully or not, does not appear:—

RUN away from his master, Captain St Lo, the 21st instant, Obdelah Ealias Abraham, a Moor, swarthy complexion, short frizzled hair, a gold ring in his ear, in a black coat and blew breeches.[130] He took with him a blew Turkish watch-gown, a Turkish suit of clothing that he used to wear about town, and several other things. Whoever brings him to Mr Lozel’s house in Green Street shall have one guinea for his charges.

RUN away from his owner, Captain St Lo, on the 21st, Obdelah Ealias Abraham, a Moor with a dark complexion, short curly hair, and a gold ring in his ear, wearing a black coat and blue trousers. [130] He took with him a blue Turkish robe, a traditional Turkish outfit he used to wear around town, and several other items. Whoever brings him to Mr. Lozel’s house on Green Street will receive one guinea for their expenses.

This advertisement is suggestive of the taste in blackamoors, which began to manifest itself about this time, and which had a long run—the coloured creature who was in later times a negro, but in these a Moor, being often regarded as a mere soulless toy, a companion of the pug-dog, or an ornament to be classified with the vases and other china monstrosities which were just then the vogue. The next advertisement we have is of a very different character, and has a distinct bearing upon the political question of the times; it also seems to show that the value of advertising was beginning to be still more understood, and that with the advent of a new sovereign the attention of the commercial classes was once more directed so much to business that even party feeling was to be made a source of profit. The extract is from the New Observator of July 17, 1689:—

This ad hints at the trend around this time regarding blackamoors, which became popular for a long while. The colored figure, later known as a negro but referred to as a Moor back then, was often seen as nothing more than a soulless plaything, a companion for a pug, or an ornament alongside vases and other china oddities that were in fashion. The next ad we have is quite different and relates directly to the political issues of the time; it also suggests that the value of advertising was becoming clearer, and with a new sovereign coming in, the business community was once again focused on commerce, even using political sentiments as a way to make profit. The extract is from the New Observator of July 17, 1689:—

ORANGE CARDS, representing the late King’s reign and expedition of the Prince of Orange; viz. The Earl of Essex Murther, Dr Otes Whipping, Defacing the Monument, My Lord Jeferies in the West hanging of Protestants, Magdalen College, Trial of the Bishops, Castle Maine at Rome, The Popish Midwife, A Jesuit Preaching against our Bible, Consecrated Smock, My Lord Chancellor at the Bed’s feet, Birth of the Prince of Wales, The Ordinare Mass-house pulling down and burning by Captain Tom and his Mobile, Mortar pieces in the Tower, The Prince of Orange Landing, The Jesuits Scampering, Father Peter’s Transactions, The fight at Reading, The Army going over to the Prince of Orange, Tyrconnel in Ireland, My Lord Chancellor in the Tower. With many other remarkable passages of the Times. To which is added the efigies of our Gracious K. William & Q. Mary, curiously illustrated and engraven in lively figures, done by the performers of the first Popish Plot Cards. Sold by Donnan Newman, the publisher and printer of the New Observator.

ORange CARDS, representing the late King’s reign and the journey of the Prince of Orange; including The Earl of Essex Murder, Dr. Oates's Punishment, Vandalizing the Monument, My Lord Jefferies in the West hanging Protestants, Magdalen College, The Trial of the Bishops, Castle Maine in Rome, The Catholic Midwife, A Jesuit Preaching against our Bible, The Consecrated Smock, My Lord Chancellor at the Bed’s feet, The Birth of the Prince of Wales, The Ordinary Mass House being torn down and burned by Captain Tom and his Mob, Mortar pieces in the Tower, The Prince of Orange Landing, The Jesuits Fleeing, Father Peter’s Activities, The battle at Reading, The Army joining the Prince of Orange, Tyrconnel in Ireland, My Lord Chancellor in the Tower. With many other notable events of the Era. Also included is the likeness of our Gracious King William & Queen Mary, carefully illustrated and engraved in vivid figures, created by the artists of the original Papist Plot Cards. Sold by Donnan Newman, the publisher and printer of the New Observator.

This was a popular and rather practical method of celebrating the triumph of the Whigs, and as Bishop Burnet was the[131] editor of the New Observator, and these cards were sold by his publisher, he is very likely to have had a hand in their promotion. About now the traffic in African slaves commenced, and these full-blooded blacks gradually displaced the Moors and Arabs, who had formerly been the prevalent coloured “fancy.” It is supposed that the taste for these dark-skinned servants was derived from the Venetians, whose intercourse with the traders of India and Africa naturally led to their introduction. Moors are constantly being associated with the sea-girt Republic, both in literature and art, Shakespeare’s “Moor of Venice” being somewhat of an instance in point; while Titian and other painters of his school were extremely fond of portraying coloured men of all descriptions. By 1693, however, the negro had not altogether pushed out the Moor, if we may judge by an advertisement dated January 9-12, 1692-93, and appearing in the London Gazette:—

This was a popular and practical way to celebrate the Whigs' victory, and since Bishop Burnet was the [131] editor of the New Observator, and these cards were sold by his publisher, he likely helped promote them. Around this time, the trade in African slaves started, and these full-blooded Black individuals gradually replaced the Moors and Arabs, who had previously been the dominant "fancy" in the colored community. It's believed that the preference for these dark-skinned servants came from the Venetians, whose connections with traders from India and Africa led to their introduction. Moors are often linked with the sea-bound Republic in both literature and art, with Shakespeare’s “Moor of Venice” being a notable example; while Titian and other painters of his era loved to paint men of various colors. By 1693, however, the Black individuals had not completely replaced the Moors, as indicated by an advertisement dated January 9-12, 1692-93, in the London Gazette:—

THOMAS GOOSEBERRY, a blackamoor, aged about 24 years, a thin slender man, middle stature, wears a periwig: Whoever brings him to Mr John Martin at Guildhall Coffeehouse, shall have two guineas Reward.

THOMAS GOOSEBERRY, a Black man, around 24 years old, a thin, slender man of average height, wears a wig: Whoever brings him to Mr. John Martin at Guildhall Coffeehouse will receive a reward of two guineas.

Another advertisement, which appears in the same paper a couple of years later, shows that the owners of these chattels considered their rights of property complete, as they put collars round their necks with names and addresses, just the same as they would have placed on a dog, or similar to that worn by “Gurth the thrall of Cedric.” This individual seems to have been different from any of the others we have met, as he is evidently a dusky Asiatic who has been purchased from his parents by some adventurous trader, and whose thraldom sits heavily upon him. This is his description:—

Another ad that appeared in the same newspaper a couple of years later shows that the owners of these items felt their property rights were complete, as they put collars around their necks with names and addresses, just like they would have on a dog, or similar to what “Gurth the thrall of Cedric” wore. This person seems to be different from anyone else we've encountered, as he is clearly a dark-skinned Asian who has been bought from his parents by some daring trader, and his servitude weighs heavily on him. This is his description:—

A BLACK boy, an Indian, about thirteen years old, run away the 8th instant from Putney, with a collar about his neck with this inscription: ‘The Lady Bromfield’s black in Lincoln’s Inn Fields.[132]’ Whoever brings him to Sir Edward Bromfield’s at Putney shall have a guinea reward.

A BLACK boy, an Indian, around thirteen years old, ran away on the 8th of this month from Putney, wearing a collar around his neck with the inscription: ‘The Lady Bromfield’s black in Lincoln’s Inn Fields.[132]’ Anyone who brings him back to Sir Edward Bromfield’s in Putney will receive a reward of one guinea.

It seems hardly possible that a poor little wretch like this would have run away—for whither could he run with any hope of securing his freedom?—unless he had been unkindly treated. There is little doubt—though we are, through the medium of the pictures of this and a later time, in the habit of regarding the dark-faced, white-turbaned, and white-toothed slaves as personifications of that happiness which is denied to higher intellects and fairer fortunes—that often they were the victims of intense cruelty, and now and then of that worst of all despotisms, the tyranny of an ill-natured and peevish woman.

It seems nearly impossible that a poor little outcast like this would have run away—where could he go with any chance of gaining his freedom?—unless he had been badly treated. There’s little doubt—though we often see through images from this and later times that dark-faced, white-turbaned, and white-toothed slaves represent a happiness that is denied to those with higher intellects and better fortunes—that they were frequently the victims of extreme cruelty, and sometimes faced the worst kind of oppression, the tyranny of a cruel and irritable woman.

We now come upon an advertisement, which shows something of the desire that was always felt by residents in the country for the least scintillations of news; and the concoctor of the notice seems fully aware of this desire, as well as possessed of a plan by means of which he may make it a source of profit to himself. It occurs in a copy of the Flying Post of the year 1694:—

We now encounter an ad that reveals the constant urge of people in the area for even the smallest bits of news. The creator of the advertisement seems fully aware of this desire and has a strategy to turn it into a profit for himself. It appears in a copy of the Flying Post from the year 1694:—

IF any Gentleman has a mind to oblige his country friend or correspondent, with an account of Public affairs he may have it for twopence of J. Salusbury at the Rising Sun in Cornhill, on a sheet of fine paper, half of which being blank, he may thereon write his own private business or the material news of the day.

IF any gentleman wants to help his friend or correspondent with an update on public affairs, he can get it for two pence from J. Salusbury at the Rising Sun in Cornhill. It comes on a sheet of nice paper, half of which is blank, so he can use that space to write about his own matters or the important news of the day.

By this means the newspaper and the private letter were combined, and it is easy to understand the delight with which a gossiping and scandalising effusion, possessed of the additional advantage of being written on this kind of paper, was received at a lonely country house, by people pining after the gaieties of metropolitan life. The newsletter proper was a very ancient article of intercommunication, and it seems strange that it should have flourished long after the introduction of newspapers, which it certainly did. This may be accounted for by the fact, that during the time of the Rebellion it was much safer to write than to[133] print any news which was intended to be read at a distance, or which had any political significance. It has been remarked that many of these newsletters “were written by strong partisans, and contained information which it was neither desirable nor safe that their opponents should see. They were passed on from hand to hand in secret, and often indorsed by each successive reader. We are told that the Cavaliers, when taken prisoners, have been known to eat their newsletters; and some of Prince Rupert’s, which had been intercepted, are still in existence, and bear dark red stains which testify to the desperate manner in which they were defended. It is pretty certain, however, that as a profession newsletter writing began to decline after the Revolution, though we find the editor of the Evening Post, as late as the year 1709, reminding its readers that ‘there must be three or four pounds a year paid for written news.’ At the same time, the public journals, it is clear, had not performed that part of their office which was really more acceptable to the country reader than any other—the retailing the political and social chit-chat of the day. We have only to look into the public papers to convince ourselves how woefully they fell short in a department which must have been the staple of the newswriter.” It would seem, therefore, that this effort of Mr Salusbury was to combine the old letter with the modern paper, and thus at once oblige his customers and save a time-honoured institution from passing away. It would seem as if he succeeded, for there are in the British Museum many specimens of papers, half print half manuscript; and as most of the written portions are of an extremely treasonable nature, possibly the opportunity to send the kind of news which suited them best, and thus combine friendship and duty, was eagerly seized by the Jacobites. But how singular after all it seems for an editor to invite his subscribers to write their own news upon their own newspapers!

By this means, the newspaper and the private letter were combined, and it’s easy to see the excitement with which a gossip-filled and scandalous piece, with the added benefit of being written on this type of paper, was received at a lonely country house by people longing for the fun of city life. The newsletter itself was a very old form of communication, and it seems odd that it thrived long after newspapers were introduced, which it certainly did. This can be explained by the fact that during the time of the Rebellion, it was much safer to write than to print any news meant to be read far away or with any political significance. It has been noted that many of these newsletters "were written by strong supporters, and contained information that it was neither wise nor safe for their opponents to see. They were passed from hand to hand in secret, often endorsed by each new reader. We are told that Cavaliers, when captured, were known to eat their newsletters; and some of Prince Rupert’s, which had been intercepted, still exist and bear dark red stains that show how desperately they were defended. It is quite clear, however, that as a profession, newsletter writing began to decline after the Revolution, though we find the editor of the Evening Post, as late as 1709, reminding readers that ‘there must be three or four pounds a year paid for written news.’ At the same time, it’s evident that public journals had not fulfilled that role which was truly more appealing to country readers than anything else—the sharing of the political and social gossip of the day. We need only look at public papers to see how woefully they fell short in a field that must have been the mainstay of the news writer." It seems, therefore, that Mr. Salusbury’s effort was to combine the old letter with the modern paper, thus pleasing his customers and saving a time-honored institution from fading away. It seems he succeeded, as there are many examples of papers in the British Museum, half printed and half handwritten; and since most of the written parts are extremely treasonous in nature, it’s possible that the chance to send the type of news that suited them best, thus combining friendship and duty, was eagerly taken by the Jacobites. But how strange it seems for an editor to invite his subscribers to write their own news on their own newspapers!

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We are now getting very near the end of the seventeenth century, and among the curious and quaint advertisements which attract attention, as we pore over the old chronicles which mark the close of the eventful cycle which has seen so much of revolution and disaster, and of the worst forms of religious and political fanaticisms carried to their most dreadful extremes, is the following. It appears in Salusbury’s Flying Post of October 27, 1696, and gives a good idea of manners and customs, which do not so far appear to have altered for the better:—

We are now approaching the end of the seventeenth century, and among the interesting and peculiar advertisements that catch our eye as we browse through the old records marking the close of a tumultuous period filled with revolutions, disasters, and extreme forms of religious and political fanaticism, is the following. It appears in Salusbury’s Flying Post from October 27, 1696, and provides a good glimpse of the manners and customs, which don't seem to have changed much for the better:—

WHEREAS six gentlemen (all of the same honourable profession), having been more than ordinary put to it for a little pocket-money, did, on the 14th instant, in the evening near Kentish town, borrow of two persons (in a coach) a certain sum of money, without staying to give bond for the repayment: And whereas fancy was taken to the hat, peruke, cravate, sword and cane, of one of the creditors, which were all lent as freely as the money: these are, therefore, to desire the said six worthies, how fond soever they may be of the other loans, to unfancy the cane again, and send it to Will’s Coffee-house, in Scotland yard; it being too short for any such proper gentlemen as they are, to walk with, and too small for any of their important uses and withal, only valuable as having been the gift of a friend.

WHEREAS six gentlemen (all from the same respected profession) found themselves unusually short on cash, they, on the evening of the 14th, near Kentish Town, borrowed a certain amount of money from two individuals in a coach, without taking the time to secure a repayment agreement. And since one of the creditors had a hat, wig, cravat, sword, and cane that were quite appealing, which were all lent as freely as the money, we hereby request these six gentlemen, no matter how attached they may be to the other items they borrowed, to please return the cane and send it to Will’s Coffee-house in Scotland Yard; it being too short for gentlemen of their stature to walk with, too small for any of their important needs, and only valuable as it was a gift from a friend.

And just about this time we come upon some more applications from our old friend Houghton, who seems to be doing a thriving business, and is as full of wants as even he could almost desire. In a number of his Collection for the Improvement of Husbandry and Trade he expresses a wish as follows:—

And around this time, we receive more requests from our old friend Houghton, who appears to be running a successful business and has plenty of needs, almost as if he could want for nothing more. In several of his Collection for the Improvement of Husbandry and Trade, he shares a desire as follows:—

——I want an Englishman that can tolerably well speak French (if Dutch too so much the better), and that will be content to sit at home keeping accounts almost his whole time, and give good security for his fidelity, and he shall have a pretty good salary.

——I want an Englishman who can speak French fairly well (Dutch would be a bonus), and who is willing to spend most of his time at home managing accounts, and will provide good assurance of his loyalty, and he will receive a pretty decent salary.

And again, his wishes being evidently for the perfection of servants, even to—which is rather an anomaly in domestic servitude—getting security. Many servants must in[135] those days have wished to get security for the honesty of their masters:—

And once again, his desires clearly aimed for the ideal of servants, even to— which is pretty unusual in household work—seeking some assurance. Many servants back then must have wanted to ensure the honesty of their masters:—

——I want to wait on a gentleman in the City a young man that writes a pretty good hand, and knows how to go to market, must wait on company that comes to the house and wear a livery, has had the small-pox, and can give some small security for his honesty.

——I want to hire a young gentleman in the City who writes well, knows how to handle transactions, can attend to guests at the house, and wear a uniform. He should have had smallpox and be able to provide some minor proof of his integrity.

Houghton was noticeable for expressing a decided opinion with regard to the quality of whatever he recommends, and, as we have shown, was not at all modest in his own desires. Even he, however, could rarely have designed such a bargain as this:—

Houghton was known for having strong opinions about the quality of whatever he recommended, and, as we've shown, he wasn't very modest about his own desires. Even he, though, could hardly have come up with a deal like this:—

——One that is fit to keep a warehouse, be a steward or do anything that can be supposed an intelligent man that has been a shopkeeper is fit for, and can give any security that can be desired as far as ten thousand pounds goes, and has some estate of his own, desires an employment of one hundred pounds a year or upwards. I can give an account of him.

——Someone suitable for managing a warehouse, acting as a steward, or anything else expected of a smart person with experience as a shopkeeper, who can provide any necessary security up to ten thousand pounds, and who owns some property, is looking for a job that pays one hundred pounds a year or more. I can provide information about him.

This is the last we shall see of old Houghton, who did much good in his time, not only for other people but for himself as well, and who may be fairly regarded as, if not the father, certainly one of the chief promoters of early advertising.

This is the last we’ll see of old Houghton, who did a lot of good in his time, not just for others but for himself too, and who can be fairly seen as, if not the father, definitely one of the main supporters of early advertising.

The next public notice we find upon our list is one which directs itself to all who may wish to be cured of madness, though why people who are really and comfortably mad should wish to have the trouble of being sane, we do not profess to understand. However, it is not likely that this gentleman helped them, for he overdoes it, and offers rather too much. The notice appears in the Post Boy of January 6-9, 1699:—

The next public notice we come across on our list targets anyone who wants to be cured of madness, although we don't quite understand why people who are genuinely content being mad would want the hassle of being sane. That said, it's unlikely that this gentleman was of much help, as he goes a bit overboard and offers too much. The notice appears in the Post Boy from January 6-9, 1699:—

IN Clerkenwell Close, where the figure of Mad People are over the gate, Liveth one who by the Blessing of God, cureth all Lunitck distracted or Mad People, he seldom exceeds 3 months in the cure of the maddest Person that comes in his house, several have been cured in a fortnight and some in less time; he has cured several from[136] Bedlam and other mad-houses in and about this City and has conveniency for people of what quality soever. No cure no money. He likewise cureth the dropsy infallibly and has taken away from 10, 12, 15, 20 gallons of water with a gentle preparation. He cureth them that are 100 miles off as well as them that are in town, and if any are desirous they may have a note at his house of several that he hath cured.

IN Clerkenwell Close, where the sign for Mad People hangs over the gate, lives someone who, by the grace of God, cures all lunatics, the disturbed, or mad people. He rarely takes more than three months to treat even the most insane person who comes to him, with several being cured in just two weeks or even less. He has treated numerous patients from Bedlam and other asylums in and around the city, and he can accommodate individuals of any status. No cure, no fee. He also reliably treats dropsy, having removed anywhere from 10 to 20 gallons of excess water with a gentle procedure. He treats patients from 100 miles away just as effectively as those who are local, and if anyone is interested, they can see a list at his house of people he has successfully treated.

Notwithstanding the writer’s proficiency in the cure of lunatics, he seems to have been sorely exercised with regard to the spelling of the word, and he is ingenious enough in other respects. The remark about no cure no pay, it is noticeable, refers only to the cases of lunacy, and not to those of dropsy, for the evident reason that it is quite possible to make a madman believe he is sane, while it would be rather hard to lead a dropsical person into the impression that he is healthy. Quacks swarm about this period, but as we shall devote special attention to them anon, we will now step into the year 1700, beginning with the Flying Post for January 6-9, which contains this, a notice of a regular physician of the time:—

Despite the writer's skill in treating mental illness, he seems to have struggled with the spelling of the word, even though he is clever in other ways. The remark about "no cure, no pay" is notable because it applies only to cases of insanity, not to those of dropsy, for the clear reason that it’s entirely possible to convince a madman that he is sane, while it would be quite difficult to persuade a person with dropsy that they are healthy. Quacks were rampant during this time, but since we will focus on them shortly, let's move into the year 1700, starting with the Flying Post for January 6-9, which features a notice about a regular physician of the time:—

AT the Angel and Crown in Basing-lane near Bow-lane liveth J. Pechey, a Graduate in the University of Oxford, and of many years standing in the College of Physicians in London: where all sick people that come to him, may have for Six pence a faithful account of their diseases, and plain directions for diet and other things they can prepare themselves. And such as have occasion for Medicines may have them of him at any reasonable rates, without paying anything for advice. And he will visit any sick person in London or the Liberties thereof in the day time for two shillings and Six pence, and anywhere else within the Bills of Mortality for Five shillings. And if he be called in by any person as he passes by in any of these places, he will require but one shilling for his advice.

AT the Angel and Crown in Basing-lane near Bow-lane lives J. Pechey, a graduate of the University of Oxford, and a longtime member of the College of Physicians in London. Sick people who come to him can get a reliable assessment of their illnesses and straightforward advice on diet and other self-care for just six pence. Those in need of medications can purchase them from him at reasonable prices without any charge for the consultation. He will visit any sick person in London or the surrounding areas during the day for two shillings and six pence, and anywhere else within the Bills of Mortality for five shillings. If he is called upon by someone while passing through any of these areas, he will only charge one shilling for his advice.

This is cheap enough, in all conscience, and yet there is little doubt that the afflicted infinitely preferred the nostrums so speciously advertised by empirics to treatment according to the pharmacopœia. We have good authority for the statement that faith will move mountains, and it[137] seems, if we are to judge by the testimonials published from time immemorial by vendors of ointment and pills, to have moved mountainous tumours, wens, and carbuncles, for without it soft soap, bread, and bacon fat would be of little use indeed. Glorious John Dryden died early in this year, and a hoaxing advertisement appeared in the Post Boy of May 4-7, which called for elegies, &c.:—

This is cheap enough, really, but there's no doubt that those who are suffering often preferred the remedies that were cleverly advertised by quacks over treatments found in the pharmacopoeia. We have solid evidence that belief can move mountains, and it seems, judging by the testimonials that have been published for ages by sellers of ointments and pills, that it has managed to move large tumors, cysts, and carbuncles; without it, soft soap, bread, and bacon fat would be pretty useless. The great John Dryden passed away earlier this year, and a misleading ad appeared in the Post Boy from May 4-7, which called for elegies, etc.:—

THE Death of the famous John Dryden Esq. Poet Laureat to their two late Majesties, King Charles and King James the Second; being a Subject capable of employing the best pens, and several persons of quality and others, having put a stop to his interment, which is to be in Chaucer’s grave, in Westminster Abbey: This is to desire the gentlemen of the two famous universities, and others who have a respect for the memory of the deceas’d, and are inclinable to such performances, to send what copies they please as Epigrams, etc. to Henry Playford at his shop at the Temple-Change in Fleet street, and they shall be inserted in a Collection which is design’d after the same nature and in the same method (in what language they shall please) as is usual in the composures which are printed on solemn occasions at the two Universities aforesaid.

THE death of the renowned John Dryden, Esq., Poet Laureate to their two recent Majesties, King Charles and King James the Second, is a topic worthy of the finest writers. Several notable individuals have paused his burial, which is planned at Chaucer’s grave in Westminster Abbey. We encourage the gentlemen of the two esteemed universities, along with others who honor the memory of the deceased and are inclined to participate, to send any copies they wish, such as epigrams, etc., to Henry Playford at his shop at Temple Change on Fleet Street. These will be included in a collection planned in the same vein and style (in whatever language they choose) as is customary for works printed on solemn occasions at the mentioned universities.

Other advertisements followed this, and from them it appears that the shop of Henry Playford was inundated with manuscripts of all lengths and kinds, and in many languages. What became of them does not make itself known, which is a pity, as many must have been equal to any specimen which occurs in the “Rejected Addresses,” with the advantage and recommendation of being genuine.

Other ads came after this, and from them it looks like Henry Playford's shop was flooded with manuscripts of all lengths and types, and in many languages. It's unclear what happened to them, which is a shame, since many must have been just as good as anything found in the “Rejected Addresses,” and had the added benefit of being authentic.

It is strange that so far we have met with no theatrical or musical advertisement or public notice of any forthcoming amusement, for it appeared most probable that as soon as ever advertising became at all popular it would have been devoted to the interest of all pursuits of pleasure. In 1700, however, we come upon what must be considered the really first advertisement issued from a playhouse, and, as a curiosity, reproduce it from the columns of the Flying Post of July 4:—

It’s odd that so far we haven’t seen any ads or public notices for upcoming shows or entertainment, because it seemed likely that once advertising became popular, it would focus on promoting all forms of enjoyment. However, in 1700, we stumble upon what must be regarded as the very first advertisement from a theater, and as a curiosity, we’re sharing it from the pages of the Flying Post from July 4:—

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AT the request and for the Entertainment of several persons of quality at the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, to morrow, being Friday the 5th of this instant, July, will be acted “The Comical History of Don Quixote,” both parts made into one by the author. With a new entry by the little boy, being his last time of dancing before he goes to France: Also Mrs. Elford’s new entry, never performed but once and Miss Evans’s jigg and Irish dance: with several new comical dances, composed and performed by Monsier L’Sac and others. Together with a new Pastoral Dialogue, by Mr Gorge and Mrs Haynes, and variety of other singing. It being for the benefit of a gentleman in great distress, and for the relief of his wife and 3 children.

AT the request and for the entertainment of several distinguished guests at the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, tomorrow, Friday, the 5th of this month, July, will be performed “The Comical History of Don Quixote,” with both parts combined into one by the author. Featuring a new dance by the young boy, as this will be his last performance before he heads to France: Also Mrs. Elford’s new dance, which has only been performed once, and Miss Evans’s jig and Irish dance: along with several new comedic dances, created and performed by Monsieur L’Sac and others. Additionally, there will be a new pastoral dialogue by Mr. Gorge and Mrs. Haynes, along with a variety of other musical performances. This event is for the benefit of a gentleman in serious distress, and to assist his wife and three children.

This lead was soon followed by more important houses, and in a very few years we have lists regularly published of the amusements at all theatres. Theatrical managers have in all times been blessed with a strong faculty of imitation, and though it seems immensely developed just now, the lessees of a hundred and seventy years ago were just as keen to follow the scent of anything which had proved fortunate on the venture of any one possessed of pluck or originality.

This trend was quickly picked up by more prominent theaters, and within just a few years, we regularly have lists published of the shows at all theaters. Theatrical managers have always had a knack for imitation, and although it seems particularly enhanced these days, the owners from a hundred and seventy years ago were just as eager to chase after anything that had proven successful for those who had the courage or creativity to try something new.

We have reserved for the end of this chapter two advertisements of an individual who, according to his own showing, would have been invaluable to some of the members of the various school boards of the present, and have enabled them to keep pace with the pupils under their supervision, a consummation devoutly to be wished. However, if we cannot have Mr Switterda, some other deus ex machinâ may yet arise. The first is from the Postman of July 6-9, and runs thus:—

We’ve saved two ads for the end of this chapter about a person who, by his own account, would have been incredibly helpful to some of the current school board members and would have helped them keep up with the students they oversee, a goal we all hope for. However, if we can’t have Mr. Switterda, perhaps some other deus ex machina will appear. The first is from the Postman dated July 6-9, and it reads like this:—

ALL Gentlemen and Ladies who are desirous in a very short time to learn to speak Latin, French or High Dutch fluently, and that truly and properly without pedantry, according to Grammar rules, and can but spare two hours a week, may faithfully be taught by Mr. Switterda or his assistant at his lodgings in Panton Street, at the Bunch of Grapes, near Leicester Fields, where you may have Latin and French historical cards. Children may come every day, or as often as parents please at his house in Arundel Street, next to the Temple Passage,[139] chiefly those of discretion, who may be his or her assistant, entring at the same time. And if any Gent. will take two children or half a dozen of equal age, whose capacity are not disproportionable, and let any Gent. take his choice, and leave to the abovenamed S. the other, and he is content to lose his reward, if he or his assistant makes not a greater and more visible improvement of the Latin tongue in the first three months time, than any Gent. whatsoever. Et quamquam nobili Germano est dedecori linguas profiteri, tamen non abscondi talenta mea quæ Deus mihi largitus est, sed ea per multos annos publicavi, et omnes tam divites quam paupores ad domum meam invitavi, sed surdas semper aures pulsavi, multos mihi invidos conciliavi, quos confidentia et sedulitate jam superavi. Omnes artes mechanicæ quotidie excoluntur, artes vero liberales sunt veluti statua idolatrica quæ addorantur non promoventur. He intends to dispose of two copper plates containing the ground of the Latin tongue, and the highest bidder shall have them. Every one is to pay according to his quality from one guinea to 4 guineas per month, but he will readier agree by the great.

ALL Gentlemen and Ladies who want to quickly learn to speak Latin, French, or High Dutch fluently, and sincerely without being pedantic, following the rules of grammar, can be taught by Mr. Switterda or his assistant at his place on Panton Street, at the Bunch of Grapes, near Leicester Fields, where you can find Latin and French historical flashcards. Children can come every day or as often as their parents wish to his house on Arundel Street, next to Temple Passage,[139] especially those with the right mindset, who may assist him or her, entering at the same time. If any Gentleman is willing to take two children or half a dozen of the same age, provided their abilities are similar, he can choose freely and leave the others to the aforementioned S. He is willing to forfeit his fee if he or his assistant cannot show a greater and more noticeable improvement in the Latin language within the first three months than anyone else. And although it may seem shameful for a noble German to teach languages, I have never hidden the talents that God has granted me, but have shared them publicly for many years, inviting both the wealthy and the poor to my home, only to find my calls ignored, and accumulating envy from many, which I have now overcome with confidence and diligence. While all trades are being constantly refined, the liberal arts are like a worshiped idol that is not promoted. He plans to sell two copper plates containing the fundamentals of the Latin language, with the highest bidder taking them. Everyone is expected to pay according to their status, ranging from one guinea to 4 guineas per month, but he is more willing to negotiate for larger groups.

It is evident that Mr Switterda was of an accommodating disposition, and doubtless did well not only out of those who agreed by the great—a species of scholastic slang we are unable to understand positively, however much we may surmise—but out of those who were content, or were perforce compelled to put up, with the small. Here is another “high-falutin’” notice which appears in the same paper about a month later, and which shows that the advertiser is also possessed of a power of puffing his own goods which must have aroused the envy and admiration of other quacks, in an age when they were not only numerous but singularly fertile in expedient:—

It’s clear that Mr. Switterda was very accommodating, and he likely did well not only with those who were on the same wavelength— a kind of academic jargon we can’t fully grasp, no matter how much we might guess—but also with those who were satisfied or had no choice but to deal with the less impressive. Here’s another “high-falutin’” ad that shows up in the same paper about a month later, demonstrating that the advertiser also had a knack for promoting his own products, which must have sparked envy and admiration among other frauds, at a time when such charlatans were not only common but also particularly inventive in their tactics:—

WHEREAS in this degenerate age, Youth are kept so many years in following only the Latin tongue and many of them are quite discouraged Mr. Switterda offers a very easy, short, and delightful method, which is full, plain, most expeditious and effectual, without pedantry, resolving all into a laudable and most beneficial practice by which Gent. and Ladies, who can but spare to be but twice in a week with him, may in two years time learn Latin, French and High Dutch, not only to speak them truly and properly, but also to understand a classical author. Antisthenes, an eminent Teacher being ask’d why[140] he had so few scholars? answer’d Quoniam non compello, sed depello illos virga argentea. Mr. Switterda who loves qualitatem non quantitatem may say the same of a great many, except those who are scholars themselves, and love to give their children extraordinary learning, who have paid not only what he desired, but one, two, or three guineas above their quarteridge, and some more than he asked. He is not willing to be troubled with stubborn boys, or those of 8 or 9 years of age, unless they come along with one of more maturity, that shall be able to instruct them at home, and such as may be serviceable to the public in Divinity, Law and Physick, or teaching school. There is £20 offered for the two copper plates, and he that bids most shall have them. He teacheth Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at his house in Arundel Street, next door above the Temple Passage, and the other three days in Panton Street, at the Bunch of Grapes near Leicester Fields, where you may have Latin and French Historical Cards, and a pack to learn Copia Verborum, which is a great want in many gentlemen. Every one is to pay according to his quality, from one Guinea to 4 Guineas per month. But poor Gent. and Ladies he will consider, chiefly when they agree by the great, or come to board with him.

WHEREAS in today's world, young people spend so many years just learning the Latin language, and many of them feel quite discouraged, Mr. Switterda presents a simple, brief, and enjoyable method that is comprehensive, straightforward, very efficient, and effective, without any pretentiousness. This method focuses on a commendable and highly beneficial practice, allowing gentlemen and ladies who can only meet with him twice a week to learn Latin, French, and High Dutch in just two years. They will not only learn to speak these languages accurately and properly but also to understand classical authors. When asked why he had so few students, the renowned teacher Antisthenes replied, Quoniam non compello, sed depello illos virga argentea. Mr. Switterda, who values qualitatem non quantitatem, might say the same about many students, except for those who are scholars themselves and wish to provide their children with exceptional education. These parents have paid not only what he asked for but also one, two, or three extra guineas beyond their tuition, and some even more than he requested. He prefers not to deal with stubborn boys or those aged 8 or 9 unless they come with someone more mature who can teach them at home, and he welcomes those who can contribute to the community in fields like Divinity, Law, or Medicine, or by teaching in schools. There is a £20 reward offered for the two copper plates, and the highest bidder will get them. He teaches on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at his house on Arundel Street, just above Temple Passage, and on the other three days at Panton Street, at the Bunch of Grapes near Leicester Fields, where you can obtain Latin and French Historical Cards, as well as a set for learning Copia Verborum, which is something many gentlemen find lacking. Fees range from one Guinea to 4 Guineas per month, based on individual circumstances. However, he will take into consideration the needs of less fortunate gentlemen and ladies, especially when they agree on a larger fee or choose to board with him.

How different from the puffing and pretentious announcements just given is the one of the same time which follows, as we read which we can hear the hum of the little country schoolroom, and see the master with his wig all awry, deep in snuff and study, the mistress keenly alive to the disposition of her girls, and the pupils of both sexes, as pupils are often even nowadays, intent upon anything but their lessons or work. London is forty miles away, and the coach is an object of wonder and admiration to the villagers, who look upon the pupils who have come from the great city with awe and reverence, while the master is supposed to diffuse learning from every pore in his body, and to scatter knowledge with every wave of his hand. The mistress is also an object of veneration, but her accomplishments are more within the ken of rustic folk, and she, good simple dame, who imagines her husband to be the most learned man in all the King, God bless him’s, dominions, delights to talk about the clergymen they have educated, and has been the principal cause of his inditing and publishing this notice:—

How different from the flashy and pompous announcements we've just heard is the one that follows, as we read it we can hear the buzz of the little country classroom, and see the teacher with his wig all messy, lost in his snuff and study, the female teacher very aware of her girls’ needs, and the students of both genders, as students often are even today, focused on everything but their lessons or work. London is forty miles away, and the coach is a source of wonder and admiration for the villagers, who look at the students who have come from the big city with awe and respect, while the teacher is thought to spread knowledge from every part of his being, and to share wisdom with every gesture. The female teacher is also respected, but her skills are more familiar to local people, and she, good simple woman, who believes her husband is the most educated man in all the King's, God bless him, lands, loves to talk about the clergymen they have taught, and has been the main reason for his writing and publishing this notice:—

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ABOUT forty miles from London is a schoolmaster has had such success with boys as there are almost forty ministers and schoolmasters that were his scholars. His wife also teaches girls lacemaking, plain work, raising paste, sauces, and cookery to a degree of exactness. His price is £10 or £11 the year, with a pair of sheets and one spoon, to be returned if desired; coaches and other conveniencies pass every day within half a mile of the house, and ’tis but an easy journey to or from London.

ABOUT about forty miles from London is a schoolmaster who has had so much success with boys that nearly forty ministers and schoolmasters were his former students. His wife also teaches girls lacemaking, basic sewing, making pastes, sauces, and cooking with great precision. The cost is £10 or £11 per year, which includes a pair of sheets and one spoon that can be returned if desired; coaches and other transport options pass by every day within half a mile of the house, making it an easy journey to and from London.

And with these proofs that the schoolmaster was very much abroad at the time, we will take leave of the seventeenth century.

And with this evidence that the schoolmaster was very much out and about at the time, we will say goodbye to the seventeenth century.


[27] A nominal censorship was continued till 1695, but the freedom of the press is considered by many to date from the year named above, and an inspection of the papers themselves would seem to justify the opinion.

[27] A form of censorship continued until 1695, but many believe the freedom of the press really started in that year, and looking at the actual papers seems to support that view.


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CHAPTER 8.
Early 18th century.

It is now apparent that advertising has become recognised as a means of communication not only for the conveniencies of trade, but for political, lovemaking, fortune-hunting, swindling, and the thousand and one other purposes which are always ready to assert themselves in a large community. It is also evident that as years have progressed, advertising has become more and more necessary to certain trades, the principals in which a comparatively short time before would have scorned the idea of ventilating their wares through the columns of the public press. So it is therefore as well to notice the rates which were charged by some of the papers. This was before the duty was placed upon advertisements, when the arrangement was simply between one who wished a notice inserted in a paper, and another who possessed the power of making such insertion. It is of course impossible to tell what the rates were on all papers, but as some had notices of price per advertisement stated at foot, a fair estimate may be made. The first advertisements were so few that no notice was called for, and it was not until every newspaper looked forward to the possession of more or less that the plan of stating charges became common. About the period of which we are now writing, long advertisements were unknown; they generally averaged about eight lines of narrow measure, and were paid for at about a shilling each, with fluctuations similar in degree to those of the leading papers[143] of the present day. Various rules obtained upon various papers. One journal, the “Jockey’s Intelligencer, or Weekly Advertisements for Horses and Second-Hand Coaches to be Bought and Sold,” which appeared towards the end of the seventeenth century, charged “a shilling for a horse or coach for notification, and sixpence for renewing.” Still later, the County Gentleman’s Courant seems to have been the first paper to charge by the line, and in one of its numbers appears the following rather non-sequitous statement: “Seeing promotion of trade is a matter which ought to be encouraged, the price of advertisements is advanced to twopence per line.” Very likely many agreed with the writer, who seems to have had a follower several years afterwards—a corn dealer, who during a great dearth stuck up the following notification: “On account of the great distress in this town, the price of flour will be raised one shilling per peck.” But neither of these men meant what he said, though doubtless he thought he did.

It is now clear that advertising has become recognized as a way to communicate not just for business convenience, but also for politics, romance, seeking fortune, deception, and countless other purposes that naturally arise in a large community. It's also obvious that over the years, advertising has become increasingly essential for certain industries, those which not long ago would have scoffed at the idea of promoting their products through public newspapers. Therefore, it’s worth noting the rates charged by some of the papers. This was before the tax was imposed on advertisements, when arrangements were simply made between someone wanting to place a notice in a paper and someone who had the power to make that happen. It’s impossible to know what all the rates were across different papers, but since some had stated prices per advertisement at the bottom, a reasonable estimate can be made. The first advertisements were so few that no pricing was necessary, and it wasn’t until every newspaper anticipated having more that the practice of stating charges became common. Around the time we’re discussing, long advertisements were unknown; they usually averaged about eight lines of narrow text and were charged at about a shilling each, with variations similar to those of today’s leading papers[143]. Different rules applied to different papers. One publication, the “Jockey’s Intelligencer, or Weekly Advertisements for Horses and Second-Hand Coaches to be Bought and Sold,” which came out towards the end of the seventeenth century, charged “a shilling for a horse or coach for notification, and sixpence for renewal.” Later, the County Gentleman’s Courant appears to have been the first paper to charge by the line, and in one of its editions, it featured the rather unrelated statement: “Seeing that promoting trade is something that should be encouraged, the price of advertisements is increased to twopence per line.” It’s likely many agreed with the author, who seems to have inspired a follower years later—a corn dealer, who during a severe shortage posted the following notice: “Due to the great distress in this town, the price of flour will be raised by one shilling per peck.” But neither of these men truly meant what they said, though they probably thought they did.

The first advertisement with which we open the century is of a semi-religious character, and betrays a very inquiring disposition on the part of the writer. Facts of the kind required are, however, too stubborn to meet with publication at the request of everybody, and if Mr Keith and other controversialists had been trammelled by them, there is every probability that the inquiry we now republish would never have seen the light:—

The first advertisement we kick off the century with has a semi-religious tone and shows a lot of curiosity from the writer. However, the kind of facts needed are too solid to be published just because someone asks, and if Mr. Keith and other debaters had been held back by them, it’s likely that the inquiry we're now sharing would never have been made public:—

WHEREAS the World has been told in public papers and otherwise of numerous conversions of quakers to the Church of England, by means of Mr Keith and others, and whereas the quakers give out in their late books and otherwise, that since Mr Keith came out of America, there are not ten persons owned by them that have left their Society, Mr Keith and others will very much oblige the world in publishing a true list of their proselytes.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. ☞ WHEREAS the public has been informed through various publications and other means about many Quakers converting to the Church of England thanks to Mr. Keith and others, and since the Quakers claim in their recent writings that since Mr. Keith returned from America, there are not ten individuals recognized by them who have left their Society, Mr. Keith and others would greatly benefit the public by publishing an accurate list of their converts.

The foregoing is from the Postman of March 1701, and in July the same paper contains a very different notice, which will give an idea of the amusements then in vogue,[144] and rescue from oblivion men whose names, great as they are in the advertisement, seem to have been passed over unduly by writers on ancient sports and pastimes, who seem to regard Figg and Broughton as the fathers of the backsword and the boxing match:—

The above is from the Postman from March 1701, and in July, the same paper has a very different notice that gives a glimpse of the popular pastimes at that time,[144] and brings to light people whose names, as prominent as they are in the advertisement, seem to have been unfairly overlooked by those writing about historical sports and leisure activities, who seem to consider Figg and Broughton as the pioneers of backsword fighting and boxing match:—

A Tryal of Skill to be performed at His Majesty’s Bear Garden in Hockley-in-the-Hole, on Thursday next, being the 9th instant, betwixt these following masters;—Edmund Button, master of the noble science of defence, who hath lately cut down Mr Hasgit and the Champion of the West, and 4 besides, and James Harris, an Herefordshire man, master of the noble science of defence, who has fought 98 prizes and never was worsted, to exercise the usual weapons, at 2 o’clock in the afternoon precisely.

A Trial of Skill is set to take place at His Majesty’s Bear Garden in Hockley-in-the-Hole, next Thursday, the 9th of this month, between the following masters:—Edmund Button, master of the noble art of defense, who has recently defeated Mr. Hasgit and the Champion of the West, and 4 others, and James Harris, a man from Herefordshire, master of the noble art of defense, who has competed in 98 matches and has never been defeated, to demonstrate the usual weapons, at 2 o’clock in the afternoon sharp.

Exhibitions of swordsmanship and cudgel-play were very frequent in the early part of the eighteenth century, but ultimately pugilism, which at first was merely an auxiliary of the other sports, took the lead, most probably through the invention of mufflers or gloves, first brought into notice by Broughton, who was the most skilful boxer of his time. This was, however, many years subsequent to the date of the foregoing.

Exhibitions of sword fighting and stick fighting were quite common in the early 1700s, but eventually, boxing, which initially was just a complement to the other sports, took precedence, likely due to the introduction of mufflers or gloves, first highlighted by Broughton, who was the most skilled boxer of his era. This occurred several years after the earlier events mentioned.

The year 1702 is noticeable from the fact that in it was produced the first daily paper with which we have any acquaintance, and, unless the doctrine that nothing is new under the sun holds good in this case, the first daily paper ever published. From it we take the following, which appears on December 1, and which seems—as no name or address is given, and as the advertiser does not even know the name of the gentleman, or anything about him beyond what is told in the advertisement—to have emanated from one of the stews which were even then pretty numerous in London:—

The year 1702 stands out because it saw the launch of the first daily newspaper we know of, and unless the saying “there’s nothing new under the sun” applies here, it was the very first daily paper ever published. From it, we can take the following excerpt, which appears on December 1. This excerpt seems to come from one of the many brothels that were quite common in London:

MISSED, on Sunday night, a large hanging coat of Irish frieze, supposed to be taken away (thro’ mistake) by a gentleman in a fair campaign wig and light-coloured clothes; if he will please to remember where he took it, and bring it back again, it will be kindly received.

MISSED, on Sunday night, a large hanging coat made of Irish frieze, which was mistakenly taken by a man in a fair campaign wig and light-colored clothes; if he could kindly remember where he got it and return it, it would be much appreciated.

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We should imagine that, unless both coats and gentlemen were more plentiful, in proportion to the population, in those days than they are now, the rightful owner, who had probably also been a visitor at the establishment, went without a garment which, judging by the date, must have been peculiarly liable to excite cupidity. Nothing noticeable occurs for a long time, except the growth of raffle advertisements, and notices of lotteries. These arrangements were called sales, though the only things sold were most likely the confiding speculators. Everything possible was during this age put up to be raffled, though, with the exception of the variety of the items, which included eatables, wearing apparel, houses, carriages and horses, &c. &c., there is nothing calling for comment about the style of the notices. In the Postman of July 19-22, 1707, we at last come upon this, which is certainly peculiar from more than one point of view:—

We should think that, unless coats and gentlemen were more common back then compared to the population than they are now, the rightful owner—who had probably also visited the place—went without a piece of clothing that, judging by the time period, must have been particularly tempting to steal. For a long time, nothing significant happens except for the increase in raffle advertisements and lottery announcements. These events were referred to as sales, although the only things actually sold were likely the trusting speculators. During this time, everything imaginable was put up for raffle; however, aside from the variety of items—which included food, clothes, houses, carriages, and horses, etc.—there’s nothing noteworthy about the style of the announcements. In the Postman from July 19-22, 1707, we finally come across this, which is definitely unusual from more than one perspective:—

MR Benjamin Ferrers, Face-painter, the gentleman that can’t neither speak nor hear, is removed from the Crown and Dagger at Charing Cross into Chandois Street, next door to the sign of the Three Tuns in Covent Garden.

MR Benjamin Ferrers, the face painter who can neither speak nor hear, has been moved from the Crown and Dagger at Charing Cross to Chandois Street, next to the Three Tuns in Covent Garden.

This must have been one of the few cases in which physical disability becomes a recommendation. Yet the process of whitening sepulchres must after a time have become monotonous to even a deaf and dumb man. We suppose the highest compliment that could have been paid to his work was, that the ladies who were subjected to it looked “perfect pictures.” Just about this time the use of advertisements for the purposes of deliberate puffery began to be discovered by the general trader, and in the Daily Courant of March 24, 1707, occurs a notice couched in the style of pure hyperbole, and emanating from the establishment of G. Willdey and T. Brandreth, at the sign of the Archimedes and Globe, on Ludgate Hill, who advertised a microscope which magnified objects more than two million[146] times, and a concave metal that united the sunbeams so vigorously that in a minute’s time it melted steel and vitrified the hardest substance. “Also,” the notice went on to say, “we do protest we pretend to no impossibilities, and that we scorn to impose on any gentleman or others, but what we make and sell shall be really good, and answer the end we propose in our advertisements.” Spectacles by which objects might be discovered at twenty or thirty miles’ distance, “modestly speaking,” are also mentioned; “and,” the ingenious opticians finish off with, “we are now writing a small treatise with the aid of the learned that gives the reasons why they do so, which will be given gratis to our customers.” This is an effort which would not have disgraced the more mature puffers of following ages. But it aroused the anger and indignation of the former employers of Willdey and Brandreth, who having duly considered the matter, on April 16 put forth, also in the Daily Courant, an opposition statement, which ultimately led to a regular newspaper warfare:—

This must have been one of the rare instances where having a physical disability actually became a recommendation. However, the job of whitening tombstones must have eventually become boring even for a deaf and mute person. We assume the highest compliment that could have been given to his work was that the ladies who underwent it looked “perfect pictures.” Around this time, merchants began to discover the use of advertisements for deliberate exaggeration, and in the Daily Courant on March 24, 1707, there was a notice written in pure hyperbole, coming from the business of G. Willdey and T. Brandreth at the sign of the Archimedes and Globe on Ludgate Hill. They advertised a microscope that magnified objects more than two million [146] times, and a concave mirror that concentrated sunlight so intensely that within a minute, it melted steel and turned the hardest materials into glass. “Also,” the notice continued, “we assure you that we do not claim to perform the impossible, and we refuse to deceive any gentleman or anyone else; everything we make and sell will actually be high quality and fulfill the promises we make in our advertisements.” They also mentioned spectacles that could supposedly let you see objects from twenty or thirty miles away, “modestly speaking.” And, the clever opticians concluded with, “we are currently writing a small treatise with help from experts that explains why this is possible, which we will provide for free to our customers.” This endeavor wouldn’t have been out of place among the more sophisticated promoters of later times. However, it incensed the former employers of Willdey and Brandreth, who, after careful consideration, released a counterstatement in the Daily Courant on April 16, which eventually sparked a full-blown newspaper combat:—

BY John Yarwell and Ralph Sterrop, Right Spectacles, reading and other optic glasses, etc., were first brought to perfection by our own proper art, and needed not the boasted industry of our two apprentices to recommend them to the world; who by fraudently appropriating to themselves what they never did, and obstinately pretending to what they never can perform, can have no other end in view than to astonish the ignorant, impose on the credulous, and amuse the public. For which reason and at the request of several gentlemen already imposed on, as also to prevent such further abuses as may arise from the repeated advertisements of these two wonderful performers, we John Yarwell and Ralph Sterrop do give public notice, that to any person who shall think it worth his while to make the experiment, we will demonstrate in a minute’s time the insufficiency of the instrument and the vanity of the workmen by comparing their miraculous Two-Foot, with our Three and Four Foot Telescopes. And therefore, till such a telescope be made, as shall come up to the character of these unparalleled performers, we must declare it to be a very impossible thing.

BY John Yarwell and Ralph Sterrop, Right Spectacles, reading and other optic glasses, etc., were first perfected by our own craftsmanship and didn't require the so-called skills of our two apprentices to gain recognition. These apprentices falsely claim credit for work they never did and stubbornly pretend to abilities they can never achieve, with no other goal than to confuse the uninformed, deceive the gullible, and entertain the public. For this reason, and at the request of several gentlemen who have already been misled, as well as to prevent any further deception from the constant advertisements of these two so-called performers, we, John Yarwell and Ralph Sterrop, hereby publicly announce that to anyone interested in trying, we will prove in just a minute the shortcomings of their instrument and the presumption of the workers by comparing their miraculous Two-Foot telescope with our Three and Four Foot telescopes. Until a telescope is made that lives up to the reputation of these unmatched performers, we declare it to be utterly impossible.

Then the old-established and indignant masters proceed[147] to recommend their own spectacles, perspectives, &c., in more moderate terms than were employed by their late apprentices, but still in an extremely confident manner. This appeared for several days, and at last, on April 25, elicited the following reply:—

Then the long-established and angry masters go on to suggest their own viewpoints and perspectives, using more moderate language than their former apprentices did, but still with a lot of confidence. This continued for several days, and finally, on April 25, it prompted the following reply:—

WHEREAS Mr Yarwell, Mr Sterrop, and Mr Marshall, the 2 first were our Masters with whom we served our Apprenticeships, and since for several years we have made the best of work for them and Mr Marshall. And now they being envious at our prosperity have published several false, deceitful and malicious advertisements, wherein they assert that we cheat all that buy any of our goods, and that we pretend to many impossibilities, and impose on the public, they having wrested the words and sense of our advertisements, pretend that we affirm that a 2 Foot Telescope of our making will do as much as the best 4 Foot of another man’s make, and they fraudulently show in their shops one of their best 4 Foots against our small one, and then cry out against the insufficiency of our instrument. Now we G. Willdey and Th. Brandreth being notoriously abused, declare that we never did assert any such thing, or ever did pretend to impossibilities, but will make good in every particular all those [note, these are their own words] (impossible, incredible, miraculous, wonderful, and astonishing) things mentioned in our advertisements; which things perhaps may be impossible, incredible, miraculous, wonderful, and astonishing to them, but we assure them they are not so to us: For we have small miraculous telescopes, as they are pleased to call them, that do such wonders that they say it is impossible to make such, by the assistance of which we will lay any person £10, that instead of 2 miles mentioned, we will tell them the hour of the day 3 if not 4 miles by such a dial as St James’s or Bow.

WHEREAS Mr. Yarwell, Mr. Sterrop, and Mr. Marshall, the first two were our masters during our apprenticeships, and for several years we have done the best work for them and Mr. Marshall. Now, feeling envious of our success, they have published several false, misleading, and malicious advertisements, claiming that we cheat everyone who buys our products, that we claim to do impossible things, and that we deceive the public. They have twisted the words and meaning of our advertisements, suggesting that we claim a 2-foot telescope of our design performs as well as the best 4-foot models made by others. They fraudulently display one of their best 4-foot telescopes next to our smaller one and then criticize the inadequacy of our instrument. We, G. Willdey and Th. Brandreth, feeling unjustly attacked, declare that we never made such claims or pretended to achieve the impossible. We stand by every single claim made in our advertisements that may seem (impossible, incredible, miraculous, wonderful, and astonishing) to them but are not so to us. We have small telescopes, which they refer to as miraculous, that achieve such feats they say are impossible to create. With the assistance of these, we are willing to bet anyone £10 that instead of the 2 miles mentioned, we can tell them the time of day from 3, if not 4, miles away using a dial like St. James’s or Bow.

After this the recalcitrant apprentices repeat all their former boasts, and conclude: “All these things are as they say impossible to them, but are and will be made by G. Willdey and T. Brandreth.... Let ingenuity thrive.” Willdey and Brandreth now, no doubt, thought that they had turned the tables upon their former masters, and had all the best of the battle; but the duel was not yet over, as the second time this advertisement appeared (Daily Courant, April 26), the following was immediately under it:—

After this, the stubborn apprentices repeated all their previous claims and concluded: “All these things may seem impossible to them, but they will be accomplished by G. Willdey and T. Brandreth.... Let creativity flourish.” Willdey and Brandreth probably felt like they had gained the upper hand against their former masters and were winning the fight; however, the duel wasn't over yet, as when this advertisement appeared again (Daily Courant, April 26), the following was immediately beneath it:—

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A CONFIDENT Mountebank by the help of his bragging speech passes upon the ignorant as a profound doctor, the commonest medicines and the easiest operations in such an one’s hand, shall be cried up as miracles. But there are mountebanks in other arts as well as in physick: Glasgrinding it seems is not free from ’em, as it is seen in the vain boastings of Willdey and Brandreth. ’Tis well known to all gentlemen that have had occasion to use optic glasses that J. Yarwell was the true improver of that art, and has deservedly a name for it, in all parts abroad as well as at home. He and R. Sterrop, who lives in the old shop in Ludgate Street, have always and do now make as true and good works of all kinds in that art as any man can do. And we are so far from discouraging any improvement, that we gladly receive from any hand, and will be at any expence to put in practice an invention really advantageous in the art. But Willdey’s performances are so far from improvements that we are ready to oppose any of our work to his and stake any wager upon the judgment of a skilful man. And because he talks so particularly of his two foot telescope, to let the world see that there is nothing in that vaunt, we will stake 10 Guineas upon a two-foot telescope of ours against the same of his. And further to take away all pretensions of our preparing one on purpose, if any gentleman that has a two-foot telescope bought of us within a year past, and not injured in the use, will produce it, we will lay 5 Guineas upon its performance against one of theirs of the same date. This is bringing the matter upon the square, and will, we hope, satisfy the world that we are not worse workmen than those we taught.

A SELF-ASSURED Con artist, with his bragging speech, fools the clueless into thinking he’s a brilliant doctor; the most basic remedies and simple procedures in such a person's hands are praised as if they are miracles. But there are con artists in fields other than medicine: it seems glassmaking isn’t free from them, as seen in the empty boasts of Willdey and Brandreth. It’s well known among gentlemen who have needed optical glasses that J. Yarwell was the true innovator in that field and has earned a solid reputation for it, both abroad and at home. He and R. Sterrop, who operates from the old shop on Ludgate Street, consistently create high-quality works in that trade that rival anyone else's. We are not at all against innovation; in fact, we gladly embrace any ideas that are genuinely beneficial to the craft and are willing to spend whatever it takes to implement them. However, Willdey's work is so far from being an improvement that we would readily put our work against his and bet on the judgment of a skilled expert. And since he makes a big deal about his two-foot telescope, we’ll wager 10 Guineas on one of ours against his. Additionally, to eliminate any claims that we’re preparing one just for the occasion, if any gentleman has a two-foot telescope purchased from us within the last year that isn’t damaged from use, we’ll bet 5 Guineas on its performance against one of theirs made in the same time frame. This levels the playing field and we hope it proves to the world that we are not inferior craftsmen compared to those we trained.

Again the young men ventured into print (May 1, 1707), to reply, and to defend what they were pleased to call the naked truth, “against the apparent malicious lies and abuse” of their former employers, in whose last advertisement they pointed out some inconsistencies, claimed the invention of the perfected spectacles as theirs, and ended in offering to bet “20 guineas to their 10, that neither they nor Mr Marshall can make a better telescope than we can.” This, though rather a descent from the high horse previously occupied by them, was sufficient to rouse the anger of an interested yet hitherto passive spectator, and Mr Marshall presently (May 8) indignantly growled forth:—

Again, the young men took to print (May 1, 1707) to respond and defend what they called the naked truth, “against the obvious malicious lies and abuse” from their former employers. They pointed out some contradictions in the latest advertisement, claimed they invented the improved spectacles, and concluded by betting “20 guineas to their 10 that neither they nor Mr. Marshall can make a better telescope than we can.” Although this was a bit of a drop from their earlier high ground, it was enough to provoke the anger of a previously indifferent observer, and Mr. Marshall soon (May 8) angrily grumbled out:—

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THE best method now used for Grinding Spectacles and other glasses, was by me at great charge and pains found out, which I shewed to the Royal Society in the year 1693, and by them approved; being gentlemen the best skilled in optics, for which they gave me their certificate to let the world know what I had done. Since which I have made spectacles, telescopes, and microscopes, for all the Kings and Prince’s Courts in Europe. And as for the 2 new spectacle makers, that would insinuate to the world that they were my best workmen for several years: the one I never employed, the other I found as I doubt not but many gentlemen have and will find them both, to be only boasters and not performers of what they advertise, &c. &c.

THE best method currently used for grinding spectacles and other glasses was developed by me at significant expense and effort, which I presented to the Royal Society in 1693, and they approved it; being gentlemen highly skilled in optics, they issued a certificate to inform the world of my work. Since then, I have created spectacles, telescopes, and microscopes for all the royal courts in Europe. As for the two new spectacle makers who claim to have been my best workers for several years: I never hired one, and the other I found, as I’m sure many gentlemen have and will find, to be nothing but boastful and not actually capable of delivering what they advertise, etc., etc.

After pursuing this strain till he had run down, Mr Marshall concludes by saying, “What I have inserted is nothing but truth.” At the same time Yarwell and Sterrop overwhelmed the raisers of this hornets’ nest with a new attention, in which among other things was the following:—

After following this lead until he was exhausted, Mr. Marshall wraps up by saying, “What I have included is nothing but the truth.” Meanwhile, Yarwell and Sterrop bombarded the creators of this hornet's nest with fresh scrutiny, which included, among other things, the following:—

Mr Willdey and Brandreth have the folly to believe that abundance of words is sufficient to gain applause, and therefore throw ’em out without regard to truth and reason, but as that is an affront to the understanding of gentlemen that use the goods they sell, they being persons of discerning judgment, there needs no other answer to what they have published than to compare one part with another. They set forth with a lying vaunt that their two-foot telescope would perform the same that a common four-foot one would do, and when ’twas replied that was false, and a four-foot one offered to try, they poorly shift off with crying “That’s one of your best four-foot ones.” Now we profess to make none but best, the glasses of every one being true ground and rightly adjusted, and the difference in price arrises only from the goodness, ornaments, and convenience of the case, neither can he produce a four-foot one of anybody’s make, that does not far exceed his two-foot, nor does his two-foot one at all exceed ours, which they don’t now pretend. And therefore the lie is all on his side, and the impossibility in his pretensions is as strong as ever, and what we have said is just truth, and his foul language no better than Billingsgate railing. But it seems because we do not treat him in his own way and decry his goods as much as he does other men’s, he has the folly to construct it as an acknowledgement that his excel. But we are so far from allowing that, that we do aver they have nothing to brag of but what they learnt of us, and Brandreth was so indifferent a workman that Marshall, who had taken him for a journeyman, was fain to turn him off. The secrets they brag of is all a falsehood, and the microscope[150] the same that any one may have from Culpeper who is the maker. We have already told the world that we will venture any wager upon the performance of our two foot telescope against theirs, and we would be glad to have it taken up that we might have the opportunity of showing that ours exceeds, and letting the world see that his brags are only such as mountebanks make in medicine.

Mr. Willdey and Brandreth foolishly think that lots of words can earn them praise, so they throw them out without considering truth and reason. This disrespects the intelligence of the gentlemen who use their products, who are discerning buyers. There’s really no need for a long response to their claims other than to compare their work to ours. They boldly claim that their two-foot telescope performs as well as a standard four-foot one, and when we pointed out that this was untrue and offered to test a four-foot telescope, they weakly responded, “That’s one of your best four-foot ones.” We assert that we only make the best, with each lens precisely ground and properly adjusted. The price difference comes solely from the quality, features, and convenience of the case. They cannot produce a four-foot telescope from anyone that doesn’t far surpass their two-foot model, nor can their two-foot telescope outperform ours, which they have stopped claiming. Therefore, the dishonesty is entirely on their side, and their claims are just as impossible as ever. What we’ve said is simply true, and their harsh words are no better than insults. Because we do not engage with him on his terms or criticize his products as he does with others, he mistakenly interprets our stance as a recognition of his superiority. We are far from agreeing with that; in fact, we assert they have nothing to boast about except what they learned from us, and Brandreth was such a poor craftsman that Marshall, who had employed him as a journeyman, had to let him go. The secrets they boast about are all lies, and the microscope is the same that anyone can get from Culpeper, the actual maker. We have already told the public that we’ll wager on our two-foot telescope’s performance against theirs, and we would welcome the opportunity to prove that ours is superior, showing everyone that their claims are just the boastful words of quacks in the medicine field.

Finally, in the Daily Courant for May 12, 1707, Willdey and Brandreth once again insert their vaunt, and then proceed to demolish their late employers thus:—

Finally, in the Daily Courant for May 12, 1707, Willdey and Brandreth once again insert their boast, and then proceed to take down their recent employers like this:—

We do affirm it [the telescope made by W. & B.] to be the pleasantest and usefullest instrument of this kind, and what our adversaries have said against it is false and proceeds from an ill design; we have already offered to lay them 20 guineas to their 10 that they could not make a better, but they knowing they were not capable to engage us in that particular, said in their answer that there needs no more than to compare one instrument with another that they may have the opportunity of shewing that theirs exceeds; to which proposal we do agree, and to that purpose have bought 3 of their best telescopes that we might be sure of one that was good, though they say in their advertisements that they make none but the best, and we are ready to give our oaths that no damage has been done them since they were bought. And now to bring these matters to an end, we will lay them 20 guineas to their 10, that 3 of our best of the same sizes are better than them; and any gentleman that will may see the experiment tried in an instant at our shop, where they may also see that our best pocket telescope comes not far short of their best large 4 Foot one. And several other curiosities all made to the greatest perfection. And whereas Mr Yarwell, Mr Sterrop, and Mr Marshall have maliciously, falsly, and unjustly insinuated that we are but indifferent workmen, several persons being justly moved by that scandalous aspersion, have offered to give their oaths that they have often heard them say that we were the best of workmen, and that we understood our business as well as themselves. And as such we do each of us challenge them all 3 severally to work with them, who does most and best for £20. As for the Microscope it is our own invention, and 2 of them were made by us before any person saw them, as we can prove by witnesses; as we also can their railing and scandalous aspersions to be false. All persons may be assured that all our instruments do and will answer the character given them in the advertisements of T. Brandreth and G. Willdey, &c. &c.

We affirm that the telescope made by W. & B. is the best and most useful instrument of its kind, and everything our opponents have said against it is false and stems from bad intentions. We have already offered to bet them 20 guineas to their 10 that they couldn’t make a better one, but they, knowing they can’t take us up on that, replied that it merely takes a comparison of instruments to show that theirs is superior. We agree with that proposal and have purchased three of their best telescopes to ensure we have at least one quality instrument, even though they claim in their ads that they only make the best. We're ready to swear that no damage has been done to them since we bought them. To wrap this up, we challenge them again, betting 20 guineas to their 10, that three of our best telescopes of the same sizes are better than theirs. Any gentleman interested can come to our shop to see the comparison, where they'll also notice that our best pocket telescope is almost as good as their top-of-the-line 4-foot model, along with several other curiosities made to the highest standards. Furthermore, Mr. Yarwell, Mr. Sterrop, and Mr. Marshall have maliciously and falsely suggested that we're mediocre craftsmen. Several individuals, justifiably outraged by such slander, have offered to swear that they've often heard these gentlemen claim we are the best craftsmen and that we understand our trade as well as they do. Therefore, we each challenge them three to compete against us in work quality and quantity for £20. As for the Microscope, it’s our own invention, and we made two of them before anyone had seen them, which we can prove with witnesses; we can also prove that their accusations are baseless. Everyone can be assured that all our instruments meet and will continue to meet the descriptions in the advertisements of T. Brandreth and G. Willdey, etc., etc.

Whether the game was too expensive, or whether the old[151] firm was shut up by this, we know not, but anyhow they retired from the contest, and it is to be hoped found that rivalry fosters rather than injures business. We have given particular attention to this conflict of statements, as it shows how soon advertisements, after they had become general, were used for aggressional and objectionable trade purposes. Passing on for a little space, until 1709, the Tatler appears on the scene, and commences with a full share of advertisements, and very soon one is found worthy of quotation. This appears on March 21, and is a form of application which soon found favour with the gallants and ladies of pleasure of the day:—

Whether the game was too pricey or whether the old[151] company was sidelined because of this, we don’t know, but either way, they withdrew from the competition. It's hoped they realized that rivalry boosts rather than harms business. We have closely examined this conflict of statements, as it illustrates how quickly advertisements, once they became widespread, were used for aggressive and questionable trade purposes. Fast forward a bit to 1709, when the Tatler makes its appearance with a wealth of advertisements, and soon one is found that deserves mentioning. This one appeared on March 21 and is a type of announcement that quickly gained popularity among the fashionable men and women of the time:—

A GENTLEMAN who, the twentieth instant, had the honour to conduct a lady out of a boat at Whitehall Stairs, desires to know when he may wait on her to disclose a matter of concern. A letter directed to Mr Samuel Reeves, to be left with Mr May, at the Golden Head, the upper end of New Southampton Street, Covent Garden.

A MAN who, on the twentieth of this month, had the pleasure of helping a lady get out of a boat at Whitehall Stairs, would like to know when he can meet with her to discuss an important issue. A letter should be addressed to Mr. Samuel Reeves and left with Mr. May at the Golden Head, located at the upper end of New Southampton Street, Covent Garden.

There are about this time many instances appearing in the notice columns of what has been called love at first sight, though from the fact that advertisements had to bring their influence to bear on the passion, it looks as though the impression took some time to fix itself. Otherwise the declaration might have been made at once, unless, indeed, timidity prevented it. Perhaps, too, the occasional presence of a gentleman companion might have deterred these inflammable youths from prosecuting their suits and persecuting the objects of their temporary adoration. Just after the foregoing we come upon a slave advertisement couched in the following terms:—

Around this time, there are many cases showing up in the classifieds of what’s been called love at first sight. However, since advertisements had to influence this feeling, it seems like the connection took some time to develop. Otherwise, the confession might have been made immediately, unless shyness held it back. Also, the occasional presence of a male friend might have stopped these eager young men from pursuing their interests and bothering the objects of their fleeting affection. Right after this, we come across a slave advertisement written in the following terms:—

A BLACK boy, twelve years of age, fit to wait on a gentleman, to be disposed of at Denis’s Coffee house in Finch Lane, near the Royal Exchange.

A BLACK boy, twelve years old, ready to serve a gentleman, available at Denis’s Coffee House on Finch Lane, close to the Royal Exchange.

There is no mincing the matter about this, and as, at the same time, a very extensive traffic was carried on in “white flesh” for the plantations, the advertiser would doubtless[152] have regarded sympathy with his property as not only idiotic but offensive. And then we light on what must be regarded as an advertisement, though it emanates from the editorial sanctum, and is redolent of that humour which, first identified with the Tatler, has never yet been surpassed, and, as many still say, never equalled:—

There’s no avoiding the truth here, and at the same time, a large amount of trade was happening in “white flesh” for the plantations. The advertiser would undoubtedly see sympathy for his property as not just foolish but insulting. Then we come across what should be seen as an advertisement, even though it comes from the editorial team and carries that humor which, first associated with the Tatler, has never been topped and, as many still claim, never equaled:—

ANY ladies who have any particular stories of their acquaintance which they are willing privately to make public, may send ’em by the penny post to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., enclosed to Mr John Morpheu, near Stationers’ Hall.

ANYC ladies who have any interesting stories they’d like to share publicly, can send them via the penny post to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., c/o Mr. John Morphew, near Stationers' Hall.

What a chance for the lovers of scandal, and doubtless they readily availed themselves of it. Many a hearty laugh must Steele have had over the communications received, and many of them must have afforded him the groundwork for satires, which at the time must have struck home indeed. In the following year “Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire,” seems to have taken it into his head that John Partridge, the astrologer, ought to be dead, if he really was not, and so inserted a series of advertisements to the effect that that worthy had really departed this life, which, however amusing to the Tatler folk and the public, seem to have nearly driven the stargazer wild.[28] One of the best of this series, which appears on August 10, 1710, runs thus:—

What a treat for the gossip lovers, and they probably seized the opportunity eagerly. Steele must have had many hearty laughs at the messages he received, and a lot of them likely provided inspiration for satirical pieces that really resonated at the time. The following year, “Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire,” seemed to think that John Partridge, the astrologer, should be dead, if he wasn’t already. So he ran a series of ads claiming that this esteemed figure had indeed passed away, which, although entertaining for the readers of the Tatler and the public, seemed to almost drive the stargazer insane.[28] One of the best from this series, published on August 10, 1710, reads: so:—

[153]

[153]

WHEREAS an ignorant Upstart in Astrology has publicly endeavoured to persuade the world that he is the late John Partridge, who died the 28 of March 1718, these are to certify all whom it may concern, that the true John Partridge was not only dead at that time but continues so to the present day. Beware of counterfeits, for such are abroad.

WHEREAS an uninformed pretender in astrology has tried to convince everyone that he is the late John Partridge, who passed away on March 28, 1718, this is to inform all who may be concerned that the real John Partridge was not only dead at that time but remains so to this day. Be cautious of impostors, as they are out there.

The quiet yet pungent drollery of this is almost irresistible, but it has the effect of making us rather chary of accepting any of the remaining advertisements which look at all like emanations from the quaint fancy of the editor. Take the following, for instance, which is found among a number of others of an ordinary character, undistinguished from them by any peculiarity of type or position. It seems, however, to betray its origin:—

The quiet yet strong humor of this is almost impossible to resist, but it makes us cautious about accepting any of the other ads that seem similar to the editor's quirky style. Take the following one, for example, which is mixed in with several others that are pretty standard, not set apart by any unique typeface or placement. However, it seems to reveal its origin:—

The Charitable Advice Office, where all persons may have the opinion of dignified Clergymen, learned Council, Graduate Physicians, and experienced Surgeons, to any question in Divinity, Morality, Law, Physic, or Surgery, with proper Prescriptions within twelve hours after they have delivered in a state of their case. Those who can’t write may have their cases stated at the office. * * The fees are only 1s. at delivery or sending your case, and 1s. more on re-delivering that and the opinion upon it, being what is thought sufficient to defray the necessary expense of servants and office-rent.

The Charitable Advice Office, where everyone can get the opinions of respected Clergymen, knowledgeable Counselors, Graduate Physicians, and experienced Surgeons on any question regarding religion, morality, law, medicine, or surgery, along with proper prescriptions within twelve hours after they’ve submitted their case. Those who can’t write may have their cases explained at the office. * * The fees are just 1s. when you submit or send in your case, and another 1s. when you receive the response and opinion about it, which is considered enough to cover the necessary costs of staff and office rent.

The theory of advertising must about this time have been found considerably interesting to men who were unlikely to participate in its benefits unless it were through the increased prosperity of the newspapers to which they contributed, for essays and letters on the subject, some humorous and others serious, appear quite frequently. Most noticeable among the former is an article from the pen of Addison, which appears in No. 224 of the Tatler, date September 14, 1710. It will speak better for itself than we can speak for it:—

The theory of advertising must have been pretty interesting to people at this time who wouldn't really benefit from it unless it meant better profits for the newspapers they supported, because essays and letters on the topic—some funny and others serious—show up quite often. One of the most notable among the funny ones is an article by Addison, which appears in No. 224 of the Tatler, dated September 14, 1710. It will speak for itself better than we can speak for it:—

Materiem superabat opus.Ovid. Met. ii. 5.
“The matter equall’d not the artist’s skill.—R. Wynne.

The material didn't match the artist's skill.Ovid. Metamorphoses. ii. 5.
“The material didn't equal the artist's talent.—R. Wynne.

“It is my custom, in a dearth of news, to entertain myself with those collections of advertisements that appear[154] at the end of our public prints. These I consider as accounts of news from the little world, in the same manner that the foregoing parts of the paper are from the great. If in one we hear that a sovereign prince is fled from his capital city, in the other we hear of a tradesman who has shut up his shop and run away. If in one we find the victory of a general, in the other we see the desertion of a private soldier. I must confess I have a certain weakness in my temper that is often very much affected by these little domestic occurrences, and have frequently been caught with tears in my eyes over a melancholy advertisement.

“It’s my habit, when there’s not much news, to entertain myself with the collections of ads that show up at the end of our newspapers. I see these as updates from the small world, just like the earlier parts of the paper provide news from the larger one. If one section tells us that a royal prince has fled his city, another tells of a shopkeeper who has closed up and run away. If one part shares a general's victory, the other reveals a private soldier’s desertion. I’ll admit I have a certain sensitivity that often gets stirred by these little personal stories, and I’ve found myself with tears in my eyes over a sad advertisement.”

“But to consider this subject in its most ridiculous lights, advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador. An advertisement from Piccadilly goes down to posterity with an article from Madrid, and John Bartlett[29] of Goodman’s Fields is celebrated in the same paper with the Emperor of Germany. Thus the fable tells us, that the wren mounted as high as the eagle, by getting upon his back.

“But if we look at this topic in its most absurd way, advertisements are really helpful to the general public. First of all, they're tools for ambition. A guy who's not important enough for the Gazette can easily slip into the advertisements; because of this, we often see a small-town apothecary featured alongside a diplomat, or a footman next to an ambassador in the same news article. An ad from Piccadilly will be remembered alongside a piece from Madrid, and John Bartlett __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ from Goodman’s Fields is mentioned in the same publication as the Emperor of Germany. This is like the fable where the wren flew as high as the eagle by standing on its back.”

“A second use which this sort of writings have been turned to of late years has been the management of controversy, insomuch that above half the advertisements one meets with nowadays are purely polemical. The inventors of ‘Strops for Razors’ have written against one another this way for several years, and that with great bitterness;[30] as[155] the whole argument pro and con in the case of the ‘Morning Gown’ is still carried on after the same manner. I need not mention the several proprietors of Dr Anderson’s pills; nor take notice of the many satirical works of this nature so frequently published by Dr Clark, who has had the confidence to advertise upon that learned knight, my very worthy friend, Sir William Read:[31] but I shall not interpose in their quarrel: Sir William can give him his own in advertisements, that, in the judgment of the impartial, are as well penned as the Doctor’s.

A second use that these kinds of writings have been put to in recent years is managing controversy, to the point that more than half the ads we see nowadays are purely argumentative. The creators of ‘Razor Strops’ have been attacking each other this way for several years, and it’s been quite bitter; __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ just like the ongoing debate pro and con about the ‘Morning Gown’. I don’t need to mention the different owners of Dr. Anderson’s pills or highlight the numerous satirical works frequently published by Dr. Clark, who has boldly advertised against my good friend, Sir William Read:[31] but I won't take sides in their dispute: Sir William can hold his own in ads that, according to unbiased observers, are as well written as the Doctor’s.

“The third and last use of these writings is to inform the world where they may be furnished with almost every thing that is necessary for life. If a man has pains in his head, colics in his bowels, or spots in his clothes, he may here meet with proper cures and remedies. If a man would recover a wife or a horse that is stolen or strayed; if he wants new sermons, electuaries, asses’ milk, or anything else,[156] either for his body or mind, this is the place to look for them in.

“The third and final purpose of these writings is to let the world know where they can find almost everything essential for life. If someone has a headache, stomach cramps, or stains on their clothes, they can find the right cures and remedies here. If a person wants to recover a wife or a horse that has been stolen or lost; if they need new sermons, herbal mixtures, donkey's milk, or anything else for their body or mind, this is the place to search for them.[156]

“The great art in writing advertisements, is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader’s eye, without which a good thing may pass unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt. Asterisks and hands were formerly of great use for this purpose. Of late years the N.B. has been much in fashion, as also little cuts and figures, the invention of which we must ascribe to the author of spring-trusses. I must not here omit the blind Italian character, which being scarce legible, always fixes and detains the eye, and gives the curious reader something like the satisfaction of prying into a secret.

“The key to writing effective advertisements is figuring out the right way to grab the reader’s attention; without that, even a great product can go unnoticed or get lost in a sea of failed businesses. Asterisks and hands were once very helpful for this purpose. Recently, N.B. has become quite trendy, along with little illustrations and designs, which we owe to the inventor of spring-trusses. I can’t forget to mention the obscure Italian character, which is hard to read but always draws the eye and gives curious readers a sense of satisfaction, as if they’re uncovering a secret.”

“But the great skill in an advertiser is chiefly seen in the style which he makes use of. He is to mention the ‘universal esteem,’ or ‘general reputation’ of things that were never heard of. If he is a physician or astrologer, he must change his lodgings frequently; and though he never saw anybody in them besides his own family, give public notice of it, ‘for the information of the nobility and gentry.’ Since I am thus usefully employed in writing criticisms on the works of these diminutive authors, I must not pass over in silence an advertisement, which has lately made its appearance and is written altogether in a Ciceronian manner. It was sent to me with five shillings, to be inserted among my advertisements; but as it is a pattern of good writing in this way, I shall give it a place in the body of my paper.

“But the true talent of an advertiser really shows in their style. They talk about the 'universal esteem' or 'general reputation' of things that no one has ever heard of. If they're a doctor or an astrologer, they need to move homes often; and even if they've only ever had their family in those places, they'll announce it publicly 'for the benefit of the nobility and gentry.' Since I'm busy writing critiques on the works of these lesser-known authors, I can't overlook an advertisement that has recently come out, written completely in a Ciceronian style. It was sent to me along with five shillings to be included in my ads; but since it's a prime example of good writing in this regard, I’ll include it in the main part of my paper.”

“The highest compounded Spirit of Lavender, the most glorious, if the expression may be used, enlivening scent and flavour that can possibly be, which so raptures the spirits, delights the gusts, and gives such airs to the countenance, as are not to be imagined but by those that have tried it. The meanest sort of the thing is admired by most gentlemen and ladies; but this far more, as by far it exceeds it, to the gaining among all a more than common esteem. It is sold in neat flint bottles, fit for the pocket, only at the Golden Key in Wharton’s Court, near Holborn Bars, for three shillings and sixpence, with directions.

“The best concentrated Lavender Spirit has the most amazing, uplifting scent and taste imaginable. It lifts your spirits, pleases your palate, and brings a glow to your face that can only be fully appreciated by those who have experienced it. Even the simplest version of this is liked by many gentlemen and ladies; however, this one is even more admired because it stands out, earning a special place in everyone's esteem. It’s available in sleek glass bottles, perfect for carrying in your pocket, exclusively at the Golden Key in Wharton’s Court, near Holborn Bars, for three shillings and sixpence, with instructions.”

“At the same time that I recommend the several flowers[157] in which this spirit of lavender is wrapped up, if the expression may be used, I cannot excuse my fellow-labourers for admitting into their papers several uncleanly advertisements, not at all proper to appear in the works of polite writers. Among them I must reckon the ‘Carminative Wind-Expelling Pills.’ If the Doctor had called them ‘Carminative Pills,’ he had been as cleanly as any one could have wished; but the second word entirely destroys the decency of the first. There are other absurdities of this nature so very gross, that I dare not mention them; and shall therefore dismiss this subject with an admonition to Michael Parrot, that he do not presume any more to mention a certain worm he knows of, which, by the way, has grown seven foot in my memory; for, if I am not much mistaken, it is the same that was but nine feet long about six months ago.

“At the same time that I recommend the various flowers[157] wrapped up in this lavender spirit, if that expression makes sense, I can't overlook my fellow writers for including some unseemly advertisements that have no place in the works of polite authors. Among those, I have to include the ‘Carminative Wind-Expelling Pills.’ If the doctor had just called them ‘Carminative Pills,’ that would have been perfectly acceptable; but the second word completely ruins the decency of the first. There are other ridiculous examples of this nature that are so crude, I can't even mention them; so I’ll leave this topic with a warning to Michael Parrot not to dare bring up a certain worm he’s mentioned before, which, by the way, has somehow grown to seven feet in my memory; because, if I'm not mistaken, it was only nine feet long about six months ago.”

“By the remarks I have here made, it plainly appears, that a collection of advertisements is a kind of miscellany; the writers of which, contrary to all authors, except men of quality, give money to the booksellers who publish their copies. The genius of the bookseller is chiefly shown in his method of ranging and digesting these little tracts. The last paper I took up in my hands places them in the following order:—

“From what I've said here, it’s clear that a collection of advertisements is a sort of mixed bag; the writers of these, unlike most authors except for those of high status, pay money to the booksellers who publish their work. The skill of the bookseller is mainly shown in how he organizes and compiles these short pieces. The last paper I picked up puts them in the following order:—

“The true Spanish blacking for shoes, etc.

“The genuine Spanish shoe polish, etc.

“The beautifying cream for the face, etc.

“The beautifying cream for the face, etc.

“Pease and Plasters, etc.

"Peas and Plasters, etc."

“Nectar and Ambrosia, etc.

“Nectar and Ambrosia, etc.”

“Four freehold tenements of fifteen pounds per annum, etc.

“Four freehold properties with an annual income of fifteen pounds, etc.

“The present state of England, etc.

“The present state of England, etc.

“Annotations upon the Tatler, etc.

"Notes on the Tatler, etc."

“A commission of Bankrupt being awarded against R. L., bookseller, etc.”

“A bankruptcy commission has been granted against R. L., bookseller, etc.”

This essay probably aroused a good deal of attention, and among the letters of correspondents is one from a[158] “Self-interested Solicitor,” which appears in No. 228, and runs thus:—

This essay probably attracted a lot of attention, and among the letters from readers is one from a[158] “Self-interested Solicitor,” which appears in No. 228, and says this:—

Mr Bickerstaff.

Mr. Bickerstaff.

“I am going to set up for a scrivener, and have thought of a project which may turn both to your account and mine. It came into my head upon reading that learned and useful paper of yours concerning advertisements. You must understand I have made myself Master in the whole art of advertising, both as to the style and the letter. Now if you and I could so manage it, that nobody should write advertisements besides myself, or print them anywhere but in your paper, we might both of us get estates in a little time. For this end I would likewise propose that you should enlarge the design of advertisements, and have sent you two or three samples of my work in this kind, which I have made for particular friends, and intend to open shop with. The first is for a gentleman who would willingly marry, if he could find a wife to his liking; the second is for a poor Whig, who is lately turned out of his post; and the third for a person of a contrary party, who is willing to get into one.

“I’m going to set up as a copywriter and have thought of a project that could benefit both of us. It came to me after reading your insightful paper on advertisements. You should know that I’ve become an expert in the entire field of advertising, both in style and content. Now, if we could figure out a way for me to be the only one writing advertisements and for them to be printed only in your newspaper, we could both make a fortune in no time. To achieve this, I also suggest that you expand the scope of advertisements, and I’ve sent you a couple of examples of my work in this area, which I created for some friends and plan to use for my business. The first is for a gentleman who is eager to marry if he can find a suitable wife; the second is for a struggling Whig who has recently lost his job; and the third is for someone from the opposing party who is looking to get a position.”

“Whereas A. B. next door to the Pestle and Mortar, being about thirty years old, of a spare make, with dark-coloured hair, bright eye, and a long nose, has occasion for a good-humoured, tall, fair, young woman, of about £3000 fortune; these are to give notice That if any such young woman has a mind to dispose of herself in marriage to such a person as the above mentioned, she may be provided with a husband, a coach and horses and a proportionable settlement.

“Whereas A. B. next door to the Pestle and Mortar, being around thirty years old, of a slim build, with dark hair, bright eyes, and a long nose, is looking for a cheerful, tall, fair-haired young woman with a fortune of about £3000; this is to inform that if any such young woman wishes to marry someone like him, she can expect to be provided with a husband, a carriage and horses, and a suitable settlement.”

“C. D. designing to quit his place, has great quantities of paper, parchment, ink, wax, and wafers to dispose of, which will be sold at very reasonable rates.

“C. D. plans to leave his position and has a lot of paper, parchment, ink, wax, and seals to sell, which will be offered at very reasonable prices.”

“E. F. a person of good behaviour, six foot high, of a black complexion and sound principles, wants an employ. He is an excellent penman and accomptant, and speaks French.”

“E. F. is a well-behaved person, six feet tall, with a dark complexion and solid principles, looking for a job. He is an excellent writer and accountant, and he speaks French.”

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And so on, advertisements being then considered proper sport for wits of all sizes and every peculiarity. In 1711 we come upon the first edition of the Spectator, which certainly did not disdain to become a medium for most barefaced quacks, if we may judge by this:—

And so on, ads were seen as suitable entertainment for clever folks of all kinds and quirks. In 1711, we encounter the first edition of the Spectator, which certainly didn't hesitate to serve as a platform for the most shameless frauds, if we can judge by this:—

AN admirable confect which assuredly cures Stuttering and Stammering in children or grown persons, though never so bad, causing them to speak distinct and free without any trouble or difficulty; it remedies all manner of impediments in the speech or disorders of the voice of any kind, proceeding from what cause soever, rendering those persons capable of speaking easily and free, and with a clear voice who before were not able to utter a sentence without hesitation. Its stupendous effects in so quickly and infallibly curing Stammering and all disorders of the voice and difficulty in delivery of the speech are really wonderful. Price 2s. 6d. a pot, with directions. Sold only at Mr Osborn’s Toyshop, at the Rose and Crown, under St Dunstan’s church Fleet street.

AN admirable remedy that definitely cures stuttering and stammering in both children and adults, no matter how severe, allowing them to speak clearly and effortlessly; it addresses all kinds of speech impediments or voice disorders from any cause, enabling those who previously struggled to speak a sentence without hesitation to do so easily and with a clear voice. Its amazing effects in quickly and reliably curing stammering and various voice disorders are truly remarkable. Price 2s. 6d. a pot, with instructions. Available only at Mr. Osborn’s Toyshop, located at the Rose and Crown, under St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street.

This is a truly marvellous plan for greasing the tongue. The only wonder is that the advertiser did not recommend it as invaluable to public speakers for increasing the fluency to such an extent that the orator had but to open his mouth and let his tongue do as it willed. And certainly the most rebellious and self-willed tongue could hardly give utterance to more remarkable statements, if left entirely to itself, than appears in the following, which is also from the original edition of the Spectator:—

This is a truly amazing plan for smoothing out your speech. The only surprise is that the advertiser didn’t suggest it as essential for public speakers to improve their fluency to the point where the speaker just had to open their mouth and let their tongue do whatever it wanted. And certainly, even the most stubborn and willful tongue couldn’t express more remarkable statements, if completely left to its own devices, than what appears in the following, which is also from the original edition of the Spectator:—

LOSS of Memory, or Forgetfulness, certainly cured by a grateful electuary peculiarly adapted for that end; it strikes at the primary source, which few apprehend, of forgetfulness, makes the head clear and easy, the spirits free, active, and undisturbed, corroborates and revives all the noble faculties of the soul, such as thought, judgment, apprehension, reason and memory, which last in particular it so strengthens as to render that faculty exceeding quick and good beyond imagination; thereby enabling those whose memory was before almost totally lost, to remember the minutest circumstances of their affairs, etc. to a wonder. Price 2s. 6d. a pot. Sold only at Mr Payne’s, at the Angel and Crown, in St Paul’s Churchyard, with directions.

LOpen Source Software of Memory, or Forgetfulness, can definitely be treated with a special remedy designed for that purpose. It addresses the main cause of forgetfulness, which most people don't realize, making the mind clear and relaxed, and boosting energy, activity, and calmness. It supports and revitalizes all the important abilities of the mind, like thought, judgment, understanding, reasoning, and particularly memory. It significantly enhances memory to an unbelievable degree, allowing those who had almost completely lost their memory to recall even the smallest details of their lives. Price 2s. 6d. a pot. Sold only at Mr. Payne’s, at the Angel and Crown, in St Paul’s Churchyard, with instructions.

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It is sometimes possible to remember too much; and if the specific sold by Mr Payne had but a homœopathic tendency, and caused those who recollected things which never happened to become cured of their propensities, it is a pity its recipe has to be numbered among the lost things of this world. In the beginning of 1712, one Ephraim How seems to have been possessed of a fear that evil folks had been trying to injure him or his business, or else he felt it incumbent on himself to take the hint thrown out in the Tatler essay. Accordingly he published in the Daily Courant the following:—

It’s sometimes possible to remember too much; and if the specific remedy offered by Mr. Payne had a homeopathic effect, helping those who remembered things that never happened to overcome their tendencies, it's a shame that its recipe is counted among the lost things of this world. At the beginning of 1712, a man named Ephraim How seemed to be worried that bad people were trying to harm him or his business, or he felt he should respond to the suggestion made in the Tatler essay. So, he published the following in the Daily Courant: following:—

WHEREAS several persons who sell knives, for the better vending their bad wares spread reports that Ephraim How, Cutler of London is deceased. This is to certify That he is living, and keeps his business as formerly, with his son in partnership, at the Heart and Crown on Saffron Hill; there being divers imitations, you are desired to observe the mark, which is the Heart Crown and Dagger, with How under it.

WHEREAS several people who sell knives, in order to promote their poor-quality products, are spreading rumors that Ephraim How, a cutler from London, has died. This is to confirm that he is alive and continues to operate his business as before, in partnership with his son, at the Heart and Crown on Saffron Hill. Since there are various imitations, please make sure to look for the mark, which is the Heart Crown and Dagger, with How underneath it.

About this period shopkeepers were or pretended to be particularly loyal, for a very large percentage of their signs contained the emblem of royalty, coupled with various other figures. Though the Methuen treaty, which favoured the importation of Portuguese wines, and discouraged the use of claret, was signed in 1703, it does not appear to have made much difference in this country for some years, as the first mention we find of the new wine is in a Postboy of January 1712, and is caused by the rivalry which sprang up among those who first began to sell it:—

About this time, shopkeepers were either genuinely loyal or just pretending to be, as a significant number of their signs featured the royal emblem along with various other symbols. Although the Methuen Treaty, which favored the import of Portuguese wines and discouraged the use of claret, was signed in 1703, it seems to have had little impact in this country for several years. The first mention of the new wine appears in a Postboy from January 1712 and arose from the competition that developed among those who started selling it:—

NOTICE is hereby given, That Messieurs Trubey, at the Queen’s Arms Tavern, the West End of St Paul’s Church, have bought of Sir John Houblon, 76 pipes of New natural Oporto Wines, red and white, perfect neat, and shall remain genuine, chosen out of 96 pipes, and did not buy the cast-outs. Also they have bought of other merchants large quantities of new natural Oporto wines, with great choice (by the last fleet). And altho’ the aforesaid did buy of Messieurs Brook and Hellier, new natural Oporto wines of the earliest importation,[161] which they have yet by them; and ’tis not only their own opinion, that the said Sir John Houblon’s and other merchant’s Oporto wines, which they have bought are superior, and do give us more general satisfaction: for the same is daily confirm’d by gentlemen and others of undoubted judgment and credit. Further this assertion deserves regard, viz. That the said Messieurs Brook and Helliers have bought of several merchants entire parcels of Oporto and Viana wines, red and white, good and bad, thereby continuing retailing, under the specious and fallacious pretences of natural red and neat of their own importing.

NNOTICE is hereby given that Messieurs Trubey, at the Queen’s Arms Tavern, located at the West End of St Paul’s Church, have purchased 76 pipes of new natural Oporto wines, both red and white, in perfect condition, directly from Sir John Houblon. These wines were carefully chosen from a selection of 96 pipes, and no rejected ones were bought. Additionally, they have acquired large quantities of new natural Oporto wines from other merchants, selected from the latest shipment. Although they did purchase some new natural Oporto wines of the earliest importation from Messieurs Brook and Hellier, which they still have on hand, it is widely agreed that the Oporto wines they acquired from Sir John Houblon and other merchants are superior and provide greater satisfaction. This opinion is consistently affirmed by gentlemen and others of recognized judgment and credibility. Furthermore, it's worth noting that Messieurs Brook and Hellier have bought complete parcels of Oporto and Viana wines, both red and white, of varying quality, while continuing to sell them under the misleading labels of natural red and neat wines of their own importation.

N.B.—The intentions of the above-named Vintners are not any way to reproach or diminish the reputation of their brethren, nor insinuate to their detriment, sympathizing with them. Note the aforesaid new natural Oporto wines, are to be sold by the aforesaid vintners at £16 per hogshead, at 18d. per quart, without doors, and at 20d. per quart, within their own houses.

N.B.—The purpose of the above-named Vintners is not to criticize or harm the reputation of their colleagues, nor to imply anything negative about them. Please note that the aforementioned new natural Oporto wines will be sold by these vintners for £16 per hogshead, at 18d. per quart, outside their establishments, and at 20d. per quart, inside their own houses.

Brook & Hellier, whose wine is spoken of so slightingly, kept the Bumper Tavern in Covent Garden, which had formerly belonged to Dick Estcourt. They seem quite able to bear what has been said of them, for they have the Spectator, who has evidently tasted, and quite as evidently liked their wines, at their back, one of the numbers of this disinterested periodical being devoted almost entirely to their praise. The Spectator was by no means averse to a bit of good genuine puffery, and Peter Motteux, formerly an author who had dedicated a poem or two to Steele, and who at that time kept one of the Indian warehouses so much in fashion, received kindnesses in its columns more than once. So did Renatus Harris the organ-builder, who competed with Smith for the Temple organ, and many others. So it is not extraordinary that their advertisement is found in the Spectator very shortly after that just quoted. They seem, however, to have been disinclined to quarrel, as their notice makes no mention of their rivals:—

Brook & Hellier, whose wine is talked about so dismissively, ran the Bumper Tavern in Covent Garden, which used to belong to Dick Estcourt. They seem quite capable of handling the criticism, as they have the Spectator backing them up, who has clearly tasted and definitely enjoyed their wines, with one issue of this unbiased magazine dedicated almost entirely to praising them. The Spectator wasn't opposed to a little genuine flattery, and Peter Motteux, who had previously written a poem or two for Steele and at the time managed one of the popular Indian warehouses, received favorable mentions in its pages more than once. The same goes for Renatus Harris, the organ-builder, who was in competition with Smith for the Temple organ, along with many others. So it's not surprising that their ad appears in the Spectator shortly after the one just mentioned. They do seem to prefer not engaging in conflict, as their notice doesn't mention their competitors:—

BROOK and Hellier, &c. having discovered that several gentlemen’s servants who have been sent to their taverns and cellars for neat Oporto wines (which is 18d. per quart) have instead thereof bought the small Viana, which is but 15d. a quart; and that some who have been sent directly to the above taverns and cellars have never[162] come there, but carried home (like traitors) something else from other places for Brook and Helliers. Gentlemen are therefore desired, when they suspect themselves imposed on, to send the wine immediately to the place they ordered it from, or a note of what it was they sent for, in order to know the truth, and Brook and Helliers will bear the extraordinary charge of porters on this occasion.

BROOK and Hellier, etc., have found out that several gentlemen’s servants, who were sent to their taverns and cellars for high-quality Oporto wines (priced at 18d. per quart), have instead purchased the lower-quality Viana, which costs only 15d. a quart. Additionally, some who were sent directly to those taverns and cellars never actually went there but mistakenly brought home (like traitors) something else from other places instead of what was meant for Brook and Helliers. Gentlemen are therefore asked, if they suspect they’re being cheated, to send the wine directly back to the place where they ordered it, or to provide a note detailing what they originally requested, in order to find out the truth, and Brook and Helliers will cover the extra costs for the porters in this situation.

From this and kindred advertisements it looks as though gentlemen were not at the time in the habit of keeping large quantities of wine in the house, but rather of having it in fresh and fresh as required from the tavern, or of going round themselves, and taking it home under their belts. Also the servants of the time do not appear to be possessed of much more honesty than falls to the lot of the domestics of even these degenerate days. The effect of the rage for port as soon as it was once tried, is shown by the following, which also appeared in the January of 1712, in the Daily Courant:—

From this and similar ads, it seems that gentlemen at the time didn’t typically stock up on large amounts of wine at home. Instead, they preferred to pick it up fresh from the tavern as needed or to carry it back themselves. The servants of that era also don’t seem to be any more honest than the household staff we have today. The popularity of port wine, once it was introduced, is highlighted by the following, which was also published in January of 1712 in the Daily Courant:—

THE first loss is the best especially in the Wine Trade, and upon that consideration Mr John Crooke will now sell his French Claret for 4s. a gallon, to make an end of a troublesome and losing trade. Dated the 7th of January from his vault in Broad street, 5 doors below the Angel and Crown Tavern, behind the Royal Exchange. John Crooke.

THE first loss is the best, especially in the wine business, and because of that Mr. John Crooke will now sell his French Claret for 4s. a gallon to put an end to a difficult and unprofitable trade. Dated January 7th from his vault in Broad Street, 5 doors down from the Angel and Crown Tavern, behind the Royal Exchange. John Crooke.

But this appeal to the lovers of bargains, as well as of claret, was evidently a failure; for three or four days afterwards, and also in the same paper, another, and quite different attempt, is made to draw the unwilling drinkers to the Angel and Crown:—

But this appeal to bargain lovers, as well as wine enthusiasts, clearly didn’t work; because three or four days later, in the same publication, a different attempt was made to attract the reluctant drinkers to the Angel and Crown:—

IT having been represented to Mr John Crooke that notwithstanding the general approbation his French claret has received, yet many of his customers out of a covetous disposition do resort to other places to buy much inferior wine, and afterwards sell the same for Mr Crooke’s claret, which practices (if not timely prevented) do manifestly tend to the ruin of his undertaking, and he being firmly resolved to establish and preserve the reputation of his vault, and also willing to give his customers all fitting encouragement; for these causes and others hereunto him moving, he gives notice that from henceforth he will sell his very good French claret for no more than 4s. a gallon at his vault.

IT has been brought to Mr. John Crooke's attention that despite the general praise his French claret has received, many of his customers, driven by greed, choose to buy much lower quality wine from other places and then sell it as Mr. Crooke’s claret. If these actions are not stopped soon, they could clearly lead to the downfall of his business. Mr. Crooke is determined to establish and maintain the reputation of his vault and is also eager to encourage his customers in any way he can. For these reasons and others, he announces that from now on he will sell his excellent French claret for no more than 4 shillings a gallon at his vault.

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The fight between port and claret was very fierce this year, but the new drink had almost from the first the best of the battle, if we may judge from the strenuous appeals put forth by those who have much claret to sell, and who evidently find it very like a drug upon their hands. One individual seems at last to arrive at the conclusion that he may as well ask a high price as a low one for his claret, seeing that people are unwilling to buy in either case. The advertisement occurs in the Daily Courant for December 29, 1712. The wily concocter of the plan also thinks that by making three bottles the smallest limit of his sale, the unwary may fancy a favour is being conferred upon them, and buy accordingly:—

The competition between port and claret was really intense this year, but the new drink seemed to be winning right from the start, judging by the desperate pleas from those with a lot of claret to sell, who clearly find it rather difficult to move. One person finally seems to realize that he might as well set a high price as a low one for his claret, since people are hesitant to buy either way. The ad appears in the Daily Courant for December 29, 1712. The clever creator of this strategy also thinks that by setting a minimum purchase of three bottles, unsuspecting customers might feel like they're getting a special deal and would buy accordingly:—

THE noblest new French claret that ever was imported, bright, deep, strong and of most delicious flavour, being of the very best growth in France, and never in any cooper or vintner’s hands, but purely neat from the grape, bottled off from the lee. All the quality and gentry that taste it, allow it to be the finest flower that ever was drunk. Price 42s. the dozen, bottles and all, which is but 3s. 6d. a bottle, for excellence not to be matched for double that price. None less than 3 bottles. To be had only at the Golden Key, in Haydon Yard, in the Minories, where none but the very best and perfectly neat wine shall ever be sold.

THE best new French claret ever imported, bright, deep, strong, and incredibly flavorful, coming from the finest vineyards in France, bottled straight from the grape without any interference from coops or vintners. Everyone who tries it agrees it’s the best wine ever consumed. It’s priced at 42s. per dozen, including bottles, which is just 3s. 6d. per bottle, an unmatched quality for double that price. Minimum order of 3 bottles. Available exclusively at the Golden Key, in Haydon Yard, in the Minories, where only the highest quality, completely pure wine is sold.

There is good reason to believe that the claret which had been so popular up till this period, was a very different wine from that which is now known by the same name. It was, most probably, a strong well-sweetened drink; for, as it has ever been necessary to make port thick and sweet for the public taste, it is most likely this was at first done for the purpose of rivalling the claret, and folk would hardly have turned suddenly from one wine to another of a decidedly opposite character. The amount of advertising, probably fostered by the wine rivalry, grew so much this year, that the Ministry were struck with the happy idea of putting a tax upon every notice, and accordingly there is a sudden fall off in the number of advertisements in and[164] after August, the month in which the change took place. In fact, the Daily Courant appears several times with only one advertisement, that of Drury Lane Theatre, the average number being hitherto about nine or ten. However, the imposers of the tax were quite right in their estimate of the value of advertisements; as, though checked for a time, they ultimately grew again, though their progress was comparatively slow compared with previous days. We find a characteristic announcement just at the close of the year, one not to be checked by the duty-charge, and so we append it:—

There’s a good reason to think that the claret that was so popular up until this time was really different from the wine that goes by the same name today. It was likely a strong, sweet drink; just like it’s always been necessary to make port thick and sweet to please the public, it’s likely this was initially done to compete with claret, and people wouldn’t have suddenly switched from one wine to another that was so different in taste. The amount of advertising, probably driven by the competition among wines, grew so much this year that the government came up with the bright idea of taxing every ad, leading to a sudden drop in the number of advertisements in and[164] after August, the month when the change happened. In fact, the Daily Courant shows up several times with just one ad, that of Drury Lane Theatre, while the average number had been about nine or ten. Still, the tax makers were right in their assumption about the value of ads; although they took a hit for a while, they ultimately rose again, though their growth was relatively slow compared to earlier times. At the end of the year, we find a typical announcement that wasn’t affected by the tax, so we’re including it:—

THIS is to give notice That there is a young woman born within 30 miles of London will run for £50 or £100, a mile and an half, with any other woman that has liv’d a year within the same distance; upon any good ground, as the parties concern’d shall agree to.

THis is to give notice that there is a young woman born within 30 miles of London who will run for £50 or £100, a mile and a half, against any other woman who has lived within the same distance for at least a year; on any suitable ground that both parties agree on.

Unnatural and unfeminine exhibitions, in accordance with this advertisement, of pugilism, foot-racing, cudgel-playing, &c., were at this time not unfrequent, and the spectacle of two women stripped to the waist, and doing their best to injure or wear down each other, was often enjoyed by the bloods of the early eighteenth century. At the same time that the tax was placed on advertisements, the stamp-duty on newspapers became an accomplished fact, and Swift in his journal to Stella of July 9, 1712, says, “Grub Street has but ten days to live, then an Act of Parliament takes place that ruins it by taxing every half-sheet a halfpenny.” And just about a month after, he chronicles the effect of this cruelty: “Do you know that Grub Street is dead and gone last week? No more ghosts or murders now for love or money. I plied it close the last fortnight and published at least seven papers of my own, besides some of other people’s; but now every single half-sheet pays a halfpenny to the Queen. The Observator is fallen; the Medleys have jumbled together with the Flying Post; the Examiner is deadly sick; the Spectator keeps up and[165] doubles its price. I know not how long it will hold. Have you seen the red stamp the papers are marked with? Methinks the stamping is worth a halfpenny.” Thieves about this time seem to have had delicate susceptibilities, for it was the custom to advertise goods which were undoubtedly stolen as lost. Thus we see constantly in the reign of Queen Anne such notices as this: “Lost out of a room in Russell Street a number of valuable objects.... Whoever brings them back shall have ten guineas reward, or in proportion for any part, and no questions asked.” This style of advertising grew so that just about the middle of the century it was found necessary to put a stop to it by Act of Parliament, which took effect on the 21st of June 1752, the penalty being £50 for any one who advertised “no questions asked,” and £50 for the publisher who inserted any such notice in his paper. Haydn gives this date as 1754, but a reference to the General Advertiser of February 21, 1752, in which the notice of the date on which the law is to come into effect appears, shows that it was two years earlier. Also a reference to any Parliamentary record of forty years before that will show that not in 1713, as Haydn has it, but on the 22nd April 1712, Mr Conyers reported from Committee of the whole House, who were considering further ways and means for raising the supply granted to her Majesty; when among other measures it was resolved that a duty of 12d. be charged for every advertisement in any printed paper, besides the stamp-duty which was at the same time imposed on the newspapers. This and other extra taxes were levied, because France having refused to acknowledge the title of Queen Anne till the peace should be signed, it was resolved to continue the war “till a safe and honourable peace could be obtained.” For this purpose money was of course required; and if they never did good any other way, or at any other time, quacks and impostors, libertines and drunkards, did it now, as they mainly contributed all that[166] was gathered for some years by means of the advertisement tax. There seems to have been a good deal of drunkenness going on in the time of Queen Anne, and the tavern keepers contributed in many ways to swell the revenue. But even their advertisements drop off after the imposition of the tax, as do those of promoters of nostrums and lotteries, and the managers of theatres. These public benefactors are, however, not so blind to their own interests, but that they soon return.

Unnatural and unfeminine exhibitions, according to this advertisement, of boxing, foot racing, stick fighting, etc., were quite common at this time, and the sight of two women stripped to the waist, trying their best to hurt or wear each other down, was often enjoyed by the stylish folks of the early eighteenth century. At the same time the tax was placed on advertisements, the stamp duty on newspapers came into effect, and Swift, in his journal to Stella on July 9, 1712, wrote, “Grub Street has only ten days left to live; then an Act of Parliament will ruin it by taxing every half-sheet a halfpenny.” And about a month later, he noted the impact of this cruelty: “Do you know that Grub Street is dead and gone as of last week? No more ghosts or murders now for love or money. I worked it hard the last fortnight and published at least seven of my own papers, along with some from others; but now every single half-sheet pays a halfpenny to the Queen. The Observator has fallen; the Medleys have merged with the Flying Post; the Examiner is gravely ill; the Spectator is hanging in there and doubling its price. I don’t know how long it will last. Have you seen the red stamp the papers are marked with? I think the stamping is worth a halfpenny.” Thieves around this time seemed to have delicate sensibilities, as it was customary to advertise goods that were undoubtedly stolen as lost. Thus, we frequently see during Queen Anne’s reign notices like this: “Lost from a room on Russell Street: a number of valuable items... Whoever brings them back will receive a reward of ten guineas, or a proportionate amount for any part, with no questions asked.” This style of advertising grew so common that by the middle of the century it became necessary to put a stop to it by Act of Parliament, which took effect on June 21, 1752, with a penalty of £50 for anyone who advertised “no questions asked” and £50 for the publisher who included such a notice in their paper. Haydn gives this date as 1754, but a reference to the General Advertiser from February 21, 1752, where the notice of the law's effective date appears, shows it was actually two years earlier. Also, a reference to any Parliamentary record from forty years prior will indicate that not in 1713, as Haydn states, but on April 22, 1712, Mr. Conyers reported from the Committee of the Whole House, who were considering further means for raising the supply granted to her Majesty; among other measures, it was resolved that a duty of 12d. be charged for every advertisement in any printed paper, in addition to the stamp duty that was simultaneously imposed on newspapers. This and other extra taxes were imposed because France had refused to recognize Queen Anne’s title until peace was signed, which led to the decision to continue the war “until a safe and honorable peace could be achieved.” For this purpose, money was obviously needed; and if they never did good any other way or at any other time, quacks and impostors, libertines and drunks, did contribute significantly, as they were the ones who mainly funded the government for several years through the advertisement tax. There seems to have been a good deal of drunkenness during Queen Anne’s reign, and tavern owners contributed in many ways to boost the revenue. But even their advertisements faded after the tax was imposed, along with those of promoters of cures and lotteries, and the managers of theaters. However, these public benefactors are not so blind to their own interests that they do not return shortly thereafter.

Notwithstanding the many important events of the next few years, nothing worthy of chronicling in the way of advertisements is to be found till 1720, when we come upon the following, which is peculiar as being one of the earliest specimens of the ventilation of private quarrels by means of advertisements. It occurs in the Daily Post of January 16th:—

Noting the many significant events of the next few years, there's nothing worth documenting in terms of advertisements until 1720, when we find the following, which is unique as one of the earliest examples of airing private disputes through advertisements. It appears in the Daily Post on January 16th:—

WHEREAS an advertisement was lately put in Heathcote’s Halfpenny Post, by way of challenge for me to meet a person (whose name to me is unknown) at Old Man’s Coffeehouse near Charing Cross, the 28 instant in order to hear that said person make out his assertions in that Dialogue we had in Palace Yard, the 11th of November 1718, This will let that person know that as he would not then tell me his name, nor put it to his advertisement, I conclude he is ashamed to have it in print. When he sends me his name in writing, that I may know who to ask for, I shall be willing to meet him at any convenient time and place, either by ourselves or with two friends on each side, till then I shall have neither list nor leisure to obey his nameless summons. Robert Curtis.

WHEREAS an ad was recently placed in Heathcote’s Halfpenny Post, challenging me to meet someone (whose name I don’t know) at Old Man’s Coffeehouse near Charing Cross on the 28th to hear that person explain their claims from our conversation in Palace Yard on the 11th of November 1718. This will inform that person that since he did not give me his name then, nor included it in his ad, I assume he’s embarrassed to have it published. When he sends me his name in writing, so I know who to ask for, I’m open to meeting him at any suitable time and place, whether it’s just the two of us or with two friends on each side. Until then, I won’t have the time or inclination to respond to his nameless request. Robert Curtis.

Southwark, Jan. 13th, 1719-20.

Southwark, Jan. 13, 1719-20.

Certainly time enough seems to have elapsed between the dialogue and the publication of this advertisement to allow of all angry passions to have subsided; but Robert Curtis, whose name is thus preserved till now, would seem to have been a careful youth, picking his way clear of pitfalls, and with shrewdness sufficient to discover that anonymity but too often disguises foul intent. In that particular matters have not considerably improved even up to the present time.

Certainly, enough time seems to have passed between the conversation and the publication of this ad to let all angry feelings cool down; however, Robert Curtis, whose name is still remembered, appears to have been a cautious young man, navigating carefully to avoid traps, and with enough cleverness to realize that anonymity often hides bad intentions. In that respect, things haven't improved much even to this day.

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The year 1720 is memorable in the history of England, as seeing the abnormal growth and consequent explosion of the greatest swindle of comparatively modern times, and one of the most colossal frauds of any time, the South Sea Scheme, which has been best known since as the South Sea Bubble. Its story has been told so often, and in so many ways, that it is hardly necessary to dwell upon it here; but as, though nearly every one has heard of the scheme, there are but few who know anything about it, we may as well give once again a short résumé of its business operations. It was started by Harley in 1711, with the view of paying off the floating national debt, which at that time amounted to about £10,000,000. A contemporary writer says: “This debt was taken up by a number of eminent merchants, to whom the Government agreed to guarantee for a certain period the annual payment of £600,000 (being six per cent. interest), a sum which was to be obtained by rendering permanent a number of import duties. The monopoly of the trade to the South Seas was also secured to these merchants, who were accordingly incorporated as the ‘South Sea Company,’ and at once rose to a high position in the mercantile world. The wondrously extravagant ideas then current respecting the riches of the South American continent were carefully fostered and encouraged by the Company, who also took care to spread the belief that Spain was prepared, on certain liberal conditions, to admit them to a considerable share of its South American trade; and as a necessary consequence, a general avidity to partake in the profits of this most lucrative speculation sprang up in the public mind. It may be well to remark in this place, that the Company’s trading projects had no other result than a single voyage of one ship in 1717, and that its prominence in British history is due entirely to its existence as a purely monetary corporation. Notwithstanding the absence of any symptoms of its carrying out its great trading scheme,[168] the Company had obtained a firm hold on popular favour, and its shares rose day by day; and even when the outbreak of war with Spain in 1718 deprived the most sanguine of the slightest hope of sharing in the treasures of the South Seas, the Company continued to flourish. Far from being alarmed at the expected and impending failure of a similar project—the Mississippi Scheme—the South Sea Company believed sincerely in the feasibility of Law’s Scheme, and resolved to avoid what they considered as his errors. Trusting to the possibility of pushing credit to its utmost extent without danger, they proposed, in the spring of 1720, to take upon themselves the whole national debt (at that time £30,981,712) on being guaranteed 5 per cent. per annum for seven and a half years, at the end of which time the debt might be redeemed if the Government chose, and the interest reduced to 4 per cent. The directors of the Bank of England, jealous of the prospective benefit and influence which would thus accrue to the South Sea Company, submitted to Government a counter-proposal; but the more dazzling nature of their rival’s offer secured its acceptance by Parliament—in the Commons by 172 to 55, and (April 7) in the Lords by 83 to 17; Sir Robert Walpole in the former, and Lords North and Grey, the Duke of Wharton and Earl Cowper in the latter, in vain protesting against it as involving inevitable ruin. During the passing of their bill, the Company’s stock rose steadily to 330 on April 7,[32] falling to 290 on the following day.[169] Up till this date the scheme had been honestly promoted; but now, seeing before them the prospect of speedily amassing abundant wealth, the directors threw aside all scruples, and made use of every effective means at their command, honest or dishonest, to keep up the factitious value of the stock. Their zealous endeavours were crowned with success; the shares were quoted at 550 on May 28, and 890 on June 1. A general impression having by this time gained ground that the stock had reached its maximum, so many holders rushed to realise that the price fell to 630 on June 3. As this decline did not suit the personal interests of the directors, they sent agents to buy up eagerly; and on the evening of June 3, 750 was the quoted price. This and similar artifices were employed as required, and had the effect of ultimately raising the shares to 1000 in the beginning of August, when the chairman of the Company and some of the principal directors sold out. On this becoming known, a widespread uneasiness seized the holders of stock; every one was eager to part with his shares, and on September 12 they fell to 400, in spite of all the attempts of the directors to bolster up the Company’s credit. The consternation of those who had been either unable or unwilling to part with their scrip was now extreme; many capitalists absconded, either to avoid[170] ruinous bankruptcy, or to secure their ill-gotten gains, and the Government became seriously alarmed at the excited state of public feeling. Attempts were made to prevail on the Bank to come to the rescue by circulating some millions of Company’s bonds; but as the shares still declined, and the Company’s chief cashiers, the Sword Blade Company, now stopped payment, the Bank refused to entertain the proposal. The country was now wound up to a most alarming pitch of excitement; the punishment of the fraudulent directors was clamorously demanded, and Parliament was hastily summoned (December 8) to deliberate on the best means of mitigating this great calamity. Both Houses proved, however, to be in as impetuous a mood as the public; and in spite of the moderate counsels of Walpole, it was resolved (December 9) to punish the authors of the national distresses, though hitherto no fraudulent acts had been proved against them. An examination of the proceedings of the Company was at once commenced; and on Walpole’s proposal nine millions of South Sea bonds were taken up by the Bank, and a similar amount by the East India Company. The officials of the Company were forbidden to leave the kingdom for twelve months, or to dispose of any of their property or effects. Ultimately various schemes, involving the deepest fraud and villany, were discovered to have been secretly concocted and carried out by the directors; and it was proved that the Earl of Sunderland, the Duchess of Kendal, the Countess Platen and her two nieces, Mr Craggs, M.P., the Company’s secretary, Mr Charles Stanhope, a secretary of the Treasury, and the Sword Blade Company, had been bribed to promote the Company’s bill in Parliament by a present of £170,000 of South Sea stock. The total amount of fictitious stock created for this and similar purposes was £1,260,000, nearly one-half of which had been disposed of. Equally flagrant iniquity in the allocation of shares was discovered, in which, among others, Mr Aislabie, the Chancellor of the[171] Exchequer, was implicated. Of these offenders, Mr Stanhope and the Earl of Sunderland were acquitted through the unworthy partiality of the Parliament; but Mr Aislabie, and the other directors who were members of the House of Commons, were expelled; most of the directors were discovered, and all of them suffered confiscation of their possessions. The chairman was allowed to retain only £5000 out of £183,000, and others in proportion to their share in the fraudulent transactions of the Company. At the end of 1720, it being found that £13,300,000 of real stock belonged to the Company, £8,000,000 of this was taken and divided among the losers, giving them a dividend of 3313 per cent.; and by other schemes of adjustment the pressure was so fairly and wisely distributed, that the excitement gradually subsided.” It will thus be seen that the South Sea Bubble was, after all, not more disastrous in its effects than many modern and comparatively unknown speculations.

The year 1720 is significant in England's history for the rapid rise and subsequent collapse of one of the biggest scams in relatively modern times, known as the South Sea Scheme or the South Sea Bubble. Its story has been recounted so many times in various ways that it's not really necessary to go over it all here; however, even though almost everyone has heard of the scheme, few know much about it. So let's provide a brief résumé of its business operations. It was initiated by Harley in 1711 to address the floating national debt, which was around £10,000,000 at the time. A contemporary writer noted, “This debt was taken on by several prominent merchants, with the Government agreeing to guarantee an annual payment of £600,000 (which was six percent interest) for a specified period, financed by making certain import duties permanent. These merchants were also guaranteed a monopoly on trade to the South Seas, and they quickly became a major player in the mercantile world. The wildly extravagant beliefs about the wealth of South America were actively promoted by the Company, which also spread the idea that Spain would be willing to allow them to partake significantly in its South American trade under certain generous conditions. As a result, public interest in sharing profits from this highly profitable venture exploded. It's important to note that the Company's trading efforts resulted in just one voyage of a single ship in 1717, and its prominence in British history comes solely from its role as a financial corporation. Despite the lack of progress on its grand trading ambitions,[168] the Company managed to secure popular support, and its stock prices climbed daily. Even after war with Spain broke out in 1718, which dashed any hope of sharing in the South Sea riches, the Company continued to thrive. Instead of being concerned about the anticipated failure of a similar project—the Mississippi Scheme—the South Sea Company genuinely believed in the viability of Law’s scheme and decided to avoid what they saw as his mistakes. Relying on the idea that they could push credit to its limits without risk, they proposed in the spring of 1720 to take on the entire national debt (then £30,981,712) in exchange for a guarantee of 5 percent interest per year for seven and a half years, after which the Government could redeem the debt and reduce the interest to 4 percent. The directors of the Bank of England, worried about the potential benefits and influence this would give to the South Sea Company, submitted a counterproposal; however, the more attractive nature of the rival offer won acceptance from Parliament—172 to 55 in the Commons, and on April 7, 83 to 17 in the Lords, despite protests from Sir Robert Walpole and others against what they believed would lead to inevitable disaster. During the bill's passage, the Company’s stock price rose steadily to 330 on April 7,[32] before dropping to 290 the next day.[169] Up until this point, the scheme had been promoted honestly; but now, with the chance of making a vast fortune ahead of them, the directors abandoned all ethics, using every possible means, fair or foul, to keep the stock prices artificially high. Their efforts paid off; the shares reached a price of 550 on May 28 and 890 on June 1. By then, people generally believed the stock had peaked, leading many holders to sell, which caused the price to drop to 630 on June 3. As this downturn didn't serve the interests of the directors, they dispatched agents to buy shares in large quantities, and by the evening of June 3, the stock price rose to 750. Similar tactics were used as necessary, ultimately pushing the shares up to 1000 at the start of August, when the chairman and some top directors sold off their shares. Once this became public knowledge, panic spread among stockholders; everyone wanted to unload their shares, which caused prices to plummet to 400 on September 12, despite the directors’ efforts to maintain the Company’s credibility. The distress of those unable or unwilling to sell their stocks was intense; many financiers fled to avoid devastating bankruptcy or to secure their ill-gotten profits, and the Government grew increasingly alarmed by the public's agitation. Attempts were made to persuade the Bank to intervene by circulating millions of Company bonds; but when the shares continued to decline and the Company’s chief cashiers, the Sword Blade Company, ceased payments, the Bank declined the proposal. The nation's tension reached a critical point; public outcry demanded punishment for the fraudulent directors, and Parliament was quickly convened on December 8 to discuss how to address this major crisis. Both Houses were as frantic as the public, and despite Walpole's moderate advice, it was decided on December 9 to hold the culprits accountable for the national distress, even though no fraudulent actions had yet been proven. An investigation into the Company was launched immediately; on Walpole’s suggestion, the Bank purchased nine million South Sea bonds, and the East India Company did the same. The Company’s officials were banned from leaving the country for twelve months or selling any of their assets. In the end, various schemes involving deep fraud were uncovered, carried out secretly by the directors; it was revealed that the Earl of Sunderland, the Duchess of Kendal, the Countess Platen and her two nieces, Mr. Craggs, M.P., the Company’s secretary, Mr. Charles Stanhope, a Treasury secretary, and the Sword Blade Company had been bribed with £170,000 worth of South Sea stock to promote the Company’s bill in Parliament. The total amount of fake stock created for this and similar purposes was £1,260,000, nearly half of which had already been sold. Equally blatant wrongdoing was found in the allocation of shares, implicating among others, Mr. Aislabie, the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Of these wrongdoers, Mr. Stanhope and the Earl of Sunderland were acquitted due to Parliament’s shameful bias; however, Mr. Aislabie and other directors who were members of the House of Commons were expelled, and most directors were caught, facing confiscation of their assets. The chairman was permitted to keep only £5,000 out of £183,000, with others losing proportionately based on their involvement in the fraud. By the end of 1720, it was determined that the Company had £13,300,000 in real stock, which was divided among the victims, providing them with a 3313 percent dividend; through various adjustment plans, the burden was shared fairly and wisely, allowing tensions to gradually ease.” In conclusion, the South Sea Bubble turned out to be not more disastrous in its aftermath than many recent and less-known speculative ventures.

It is singular that the South Sea Bubble led to little—almost nothing—in the way of advertisements. When we think of the columns which now herald the advent of any new company, or for the matter of that, any new idea of an old company, or any fresh specific or article of clothing, it seems strange that at a time when the art of advertising was fast becoming fashionable, no invitations to subscribe were published in any of the daily or weekly papers that then existed. Just before the consent of Parliament was obtained we find one or two stray advertisements certainly, but they have no official status, as may be judged by this, which is from the Post Boy, April 2-5, 1720:—

It’s surprising that the South Sea Bubble saw very few—almost no—advertisements. When we consider the columns that now announce the launch of any new company or, for that matter, any new concept from an established company, or any fresh product or piece of clothing, it seems odd that at a time when advertising was becoming popular, there were no subscription invitations published in any of the daily or weekly newspapers of that era. Just before Parliament gave its approval, there are a couple of stray advertisements, but they lack official status, as can be seen from this one, which is from the Post Boy, April 2-5, 1720:—

⸸*⸸ Some Calculations relating to the Proposals made by the South Sea Company and the Bank of England, to the House of Commons; Showing the loss to the New Subscribers, at the several Rates in the said Computations mention’d; and the Gain which will thereby accrue to the Proprietors of the Old South Sea Stock. By a Member of the House of Commons. Sold by J. Morphew near Stationers Hall.[172] Pr. 1s. Where may be obtained Mr. Hutchison’s Answer to Mr. Crookshank’s Seasonable Remarks.

⸸*⸸ Some calculations related to the proposals made by the South Sea Company and the Bank of England to the House of Commons; showing the loss for new subscribers at the various rates mentioned in these calculations, and the gain that will go to the owners of the old South Sea stock. By a member of the House of Commons. Sold by J. Morphew near Stationers Hall.[172] Price 1s. You can also get Mr. Hutchison’s response to Mr. Crookshank’s timely remarks.

In the Daily Courant of April 4 is also the following, which shows the immense amount of the stock possessed by private individuals. The reward offered for the recovery of the warrant seems ridiculously small, let its value be what it might to the finder:—

In the Daily Courant from April 4, there is also this, which illustrates the huge amount of stock owned by private individuals. The reward offered for finding the warrant seems absurdly low, regardless of its value to the finder:—

Lost or mislaid, a South Sea Dividend Warrant No. 1343 dated the 25th of February last, made out to John Powell Esq. for 630l being for his Half Years Dividend on 21,000l stock due the 25th of December last. If offered in Payment or otherwise please to stop it and give Notice to Mr Robert Harris at the South Sea House, and you shall receive 10s Reward, it not being endorsed by the said John Powell Esq. is of no use but to the Owner, Payment being Stopt.

Llost or misplaced, a South Sea Dividend Warrant No. 1343 dated February 25th, made out to John Powell Esq. for £630, which is his Half Year Dividend on £21,000 stock due on December 25th. If it is presented for payment or otherwise, please stop it and notify Mr. Robert Harris at the South Sea House, and you will receive a £10 reward. Since it’s not endorsed by John Powell Esq., it is of no use except to the owner, as payment has been stopped.

The only official notification in reference to the Bubble is found in the London Gazette, “published by authority,” of April 5-9, 1720. It is the commencement of a list of Acts passed by the King, and runs thus:—

The only official notice regarding the Bubble is found in the London Gazette, “published by authority,” from April 5-9, 1720. It begins a list of Acts passed by the King and reads as follows:—

Westminster, April 7.

Westminster, April 7.

HIS Majesty came this Day to the House of Peers, and being in his Royal Robes seated on the Throne with the usual Solemnity, Sir William Saunderson, Gentleman-Usher of the Black Rod, was sent with a Message from His Majesty to the House of Commons, commanding their Attendance in the House of Peers; the Commons being come thither accordingly, His Majesty was pleased to give the Royal Assent to

HIS Majesty came today to the House of Peers, and while dressed in his Royal Robes seated on the Throne with the usual formality, Sir William Saunderson, Gentleman-Usher of the Black Rod, was sent with a message from His Majesty to the House of Commons, requesting their presence in the House of Peers; once the Commons arrived, His Majesty was pleased to give the Royal Assent to

An Act for enabling the South Sea Company to increase their present Capital Stock and Fund, by redeeming such publick Debts and Incumbrances as are therein mentioned, and for raising Money for lessening several of the publick Debts and Incumbrances, and for calling in the present Exchequer Bills remaining uncancelled, and for making forth new Bills in lieu thereof to be circulated and exchanged upon Demand at or near the Exchequer.

An Act to allow the South Sea Company to increase their current Capital Stock and Fund by paying off the public Debts and Liabilities mentioned in this document, to raise Money to reduce several public Debts and Liabilities, to call in the current Exchequer Bills that are still outstanding, and to issue new Bills in their place to be circulated and exchanged upon Request at or near the Exchequer.

The advertisement then goes on to state what other Acts received the royal assent, but with none of them have we anything to do. In the Post Boy of June 25-28 there is a notice of a contract being lost, which runs thus:—

The advertisement then continues by mentioning which other Acts received royal approval, but we have nothing to do with any of them. In the Post Boy from June 25-28, there is a notice about a lost contract, which reads as follows:—

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[173]

WHereas a Contract for the Delivery of South Sea Stock made between William Byard Grey, Esq. and Mr. William Ferrour is mislaid or dropt: If the Person who is possess’d of it will bring it to the Wheat-Sheaf in Warwick-Lane, he shall have Ten Guineas Reward, and no Questions ask’d.

WHereas a contract for the delivery of South Sea Stock made between William Byard Grey, Esq. and Mr. William Ferrour is misplaced or lost: If the person who has it will bring it to the Wheat-Sheaf in Warwick-Lane, they will receive a reward of Ten Guineas, no questions asked.

And in the issue of the same paper for June 30-July 1 we find this, which refers to the Company on which all the South Sea directors’ orders were made payable:—

And in the same newspaper issue for June 30-July 1, we find this, which talks about the Company that all the South Sea directors' orders were made payable:—

FOund at the South Sea House Saturday the 17th of June a Sword-Blade Company’s Note. If the Person that lost it will apply to Mr. Colston’s, a Toy Shop at the Flower-de-Luce against the Exchange in Cornhill, and describe the said Note shall have it return’d, paying the Charge of the Advertisement.

FOund at the South Sea House on Saturday, June 17th, a note from the Sword-Blade Company. If the person who lost it contacts Mr. Colston’s, a toy shop at the Flower-de-Luce near the Exchange in Cornhill, and describes the note, they will get it back after paying the cost of the advertisement.

These are, however, only incidental advertisements, which might have occurred had the Company been anything but that which it was; and so we have only to remark on the peculiar quietness with which all rigging operations were managed in those days. One of the paragraphs quoted in a note a short distance back will, however, account for the fact that advertisements were not found in the usual places.

These are, however, just incidental ads, which could have happened if the Company had been anything other than what it was; and so we just need to point out the unusual calm with which all rigging operations were handled back then. One of the paragraphs mentioned in a note a little earlier will explain why ads weren’t found in the usual spots.

The growth of the disgusting system which permitted of public combats between women is exhibited in several advertisements of 1722, the most noticeable among them being one in which a challenge and reply are published as inducements to the public to disburse their cash and witness a spectacle which must have made many a strong man sick:—

The rise of the repulsive system that allowed public fights between women is shown in several advertisements from 1722, with the most striking one featuring a challenge and response aimed at encouraging the public to spend their money and watch a spectacle that must have made many strong men ill:—

CHALLENGE.—I, Elizabeth Wilkinson, of Clerkenwell, having had some words with Hannah Hyfield, and requiring satisfaction, do invite her to meet me upon the stage, and box me for three guineas; each woman holding half a crown in each hand, and the first woman that drops the money to lose the battle.

CCHALLENGE.—I, Elizabeth Wilkinson, from Clerkenwell, got into a disagreement with Hannah Hyfield and need to settle it. I invite her to meet me on the stage and fight me for three guineas; each of us holding a half crown in each hand, and whoever drops the money first loses the fight.

Answer.—I, Hannah Hyfield, of Newgate Market, hearing of the resoluteness of Elizabeth Wilkinson, will not fail, God willing, to give her more blows than words, desiring home blows, and from her no favour; she may expect a good thumping!

Answer.—I, Hannah Hyfield, from Newgate Market, hearing about Elizabeth Wilkinson's determination, will definitely, if all goes well, give her more physical hits than verbal ones, looking for serious blows, and I don’t expect any kindness from her; she can count on a good beating!

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The precaution taken with the half-crowns to keep the hands clenched and so prevent scratching, shows that even these degraded creatures had not quite forgotten the peculiarities of the sex. And that there is piety in pugilism—even of this kind—is proved by the admittance that the Deity had to give his consent to “the ladies’ battle.” But Mesdames Wilkinson and Hyfield sink into insignificance when compared with the heroines of the following, which is cut from the Daily Post of July 17, 1728:—

The precaution taken with the half-crowns to keep the hands clenched and prevent scratching shows that even these degraded individuals hadn’t completely forgotten the traits of the female sex. And the fact that there’s a sense of respect in boxing—even this kind—is demonstrated by the acknowledgment that the Deity had to give his consent to “the ladies’ battle.” However, Mesdames Wilkinson and Hyfield fade into the background when compared to the heroines of the following, which is excerpted from the Daily Post of July 17, 1728:—

AT Mr. Stokes’ Amphitheatre in Islington Road, this present Monday, being the 7 of October, will be a complete Boxing Match by the two following Championesses:—Whereas I, Ann Field, of Stoke Newington, ass-driver, well known for my abilities in boxing in my own defence wherever it happened in my way, having been affronted by Mrs. Stokes, styled the European Championess, do fairly invite her to a trial of the best skill in boxing for 10 pounds, fair rise and fall; and question not but to give her such proofs of my judgment that shall oblige her to acknowledge me Championess of the Stage, to the entire satisfaction of all my friends.

AT Mr. Stokes’ Amphitheatre on Islington Road, this coming Monday, October 7th, there will be a full boxing match featuring the following two champions:—I, Ann Field from Stoke Newington, a cab driver known for my boxing skills in self-defense, have been challenged by Mrs. Stokes, who calls herself the European Champion. Therefore, I formally invite her to a boxing match for £10, fair rise and fall; and I am confident I will demonstrate my skills well enough to make her recognize me as the Champion of the Stage, much to the satisfaction of all my friends.

I, Elizabeth Stokes, of the City of London, have not fought in this way since I fought the famous boxing woman of Billingsgate 29 minutes and gained a complete victory (which is six years ago); but as the famous Stoke Newington ass-woman dares me to fight her for the 10 pounds, I do assure her I will not fail meeting her for the said sum, and doubt not that the blows which I shall present her with will be more difficult for her to digest, than any she ever gave her asses. Note.—A man known by the name of Rugged and Tuff, challenges the best man of Stoke Newington to fight him for one guinea to what sum they please to venture. N.B.—Attendance will be given at one, and the encounter to begin at four precisely. There will be the diversion of cudgel-playing as usual.

I, Elizabeth Stokes, from the City of London, haven't fought like this since I faced the famous boxing woman from Billingsgate 29 minutes ago and won completely (which was six years ago); but since the well-known Stoke Newington ass-woman is daring me to fight her for 10 pounds, I assure her I won’t hesitate to meet her for that amount, and I don’t doubt that the blows I’ll deliver will be harder for her to handle than any she’s ever given her donkeys. Note.—A man known as Rugged and Tuff challenges the best fighter from Stoke Newington to a match for one guinea, or whatever amount they wish to wager. N.B.—Attendance will start at one, and the fight will begin at four sharp. There will be the usual entertainment of cudgel-playing.

Pugilism was evidently a much valued accomplishment among the lower-class ladies in 1728, and there is no doubt that Mrs Stokes and Mrs Field were considered very estimable persons as well as great athletes in their respective circles. There is, moreover, a suspicion of humour about the reference to the asses in the reply of Mrs Stokes. In the happily-named Rugged and Tuff we see the forerunner[175] of that line of champions of the ring which, commencing with Figg and Broughton, ran unbroken up to comparatively modern days. Other advertisements about this period relate to cock-matches and mains, sometimes specified to “last the week,” to bull-baiting in its ordinary and sometimes in its more cruel form of dressing up the beasts with fireworks, so as to excite both them and the savage dogs to their utmost. Perhaps brutality was never so rampant, or affected so many phases of society as it did in the first half of the eighteenth century. Slavery was considered a heaven-born institution, not alone as regards coloured races, for expeditions to the Plantations went on merrily and afforded excellent opportunities for the disposal of any one who happened to make himself objectionable by word or deed, or even by his very existence. The wicked uncle with an eye on the family property had a very good time then, and the rightful heir was often doomed to a slavery almost worse than death. Apropos of slavery, we may as well quote a very short advertisement which shows how the home trade flourished in 1728. It is from the Daily Journal of September 28:—

Pugilism was clearly a highly regarded skill among lower-class women in 1728, and there’s no doubt that Mrs. Stokes and Mrs. Field were seen as very respectable individuals as well as top athletes in their communities. Additionally, there’s a hint of humor in Mrs. Stokes' mention of the donkeys. In the aptly named Rugged and Tuff, we see the beginning of a line of boxing champions that started with Figg and Broughton and continued unbroken until relatively modern times. Other advertisements from this era mention cockfights and matches that were sometimes noted as “lasting the week,” as well as bull-baiting, which often involved a cruel twist of dressing the animals with fireworks to excite both them and the aggressive dogs. Maybe brutality was never as widespread or touched so many areas of society as it did in the early half of the eighteenth century. Slavery was seen as a God-given institution, not just regarding people of color, as expeditions to the colonies flourished and provided excellent chances to dispose of anyone who became bothersome through their words or actions, or even by simply existing. The wicked uncle eyeing the family fortune had a great time then, and the rightful heir often faced a form of slavery almost worse than death. Speaking of slavery, we might as well quote a very brief advertisement that shows how the domestic trade thrived in 1728. It is from the Daily Journal dated September 28:—

TO be sold, a Negro boy, aged eleven years. Enquire of the Virginia Coffee-house in Threadneedle street, behind the Royal Exchange.

TO be sold, an eleven-year-old Black boy. Inquire at the Virginia Coffee-house on Threadneedle Street, behind the Royal Exchange.

Negroes had in 1728 become quite common here, and had pushed out their predecessors, the Moors and Asiatics, who formerly held submissive servitude. This was probably owing to the nefarious traffic commenced in 1680 by Hawkins, which in little more than a hundred years caused the departure from their African homes and the transplanting in Jamaica alone of 910,000 negroes, to say nothing of those who died on the voyage, or who found their way to England and other countries.

Negroes had become quite common here by 1728, pushing out their predecessors, the Moors and Asiatics, who previously held submissive servitude. This was likely due to the illegal slave trade started in 1680 by Hawkins, which in just over a hundred years led to the forced removal from their African homes and the relocation of 910,000 Negroes to Jamaica alone, not to mention those who died during the journey or ended up in England and other countries.


[28] This is Partridge the almanac-maker, who was fortunate enough to be mentioned in the “Rape of the Lock.” After the rape has taken place the poem goes on to say—

[28] This is Partridge the almanac-maker, who was lucky enough to be mentioned in the "Rape of the Lock." After the event has occurred, the poem continues to say—

"This is where the beau monde will survey from the Mall,
And celebrate with music its favorable light;
This blessed lover will take for Venus,
And offer prayers from Rosamunda’s lake;
This partridge will soon see in clear skies,
When he looks through Galileo’s eyes again; And so the notorious wizard will seal their fate
"The destiny of Louis and the collapse of Rome."

It would seem, therefore, that the guiding spirits of the Tatler, fancying that he had received undue publicity in a favourable manner, were disposed to show Partridge that all advertisements are not necessarily adjuncts to business.

It seems, then, that the creators of the Tatler, thinking he had gotten too much positive attention, wanted to show Partridge that not all advertisements are directly related to business.

[29] An advertising trussmaker of that day.

[29] An advertising truss maker of that time.

[30] A specimen advertisement of one of these inventors appears in the Postman of January 6-9, 1705:—

[30] A An example advertisement from one of these inventors can be found in the Postman of January 6-9, 1705:—

SINCE so many upstarts do daily publish one thing or other to counterfeit the original strops, for setting razors, penknives, lancets, etc., upon, And pretend them to be most excellent; the first author of the said strops, does hereby testify that all such sort of things are only made in imitation of the true ones, which are permitted to be sold by no one but Mr Shipton, at John’s Coffee House, in Exchange Alley, as hath been often mentioned in the Gazettes, to prevent people being further imposed upon.

SINCE so many newcomers are constantly putting out various products to imitate the original strops used for setting razors, penknives, lancets, etc., and claiming they are the best; the original creator of these strops wants to clarify that all such products are just imitations of the real ones, which are only allowed to be sold by Mr. Shipton, at John’s Coffee House in Exchange Alley, as has been frequently noted in the newspapers, to protect people from being misled further.

An opposition notice appears shortly afterwards in the Daily Courant of January 11:—

An opposition notice shows up soon after in the Daily Courant on January 11:—

THE Right Venetian Strops, being the only fam’d ones made, as appears by the many thousands that have been sold, notwithstanding the many false shams and ridiculous pretences, as “original,” etc., that are almost every day published to promote the sale of counterfeits, and to lessen the great and truly wonderful fame of the Venetian Strops, which are most certainly the best in the world, for they will give razors, penknives, lancets, etc., such an exquisite fine, smooth, sharp, exact and durable edge, that the like was never known, which has been experienced by thousands of gentlemen in England, Scotland and Ireland. Are sold only at Mr Allcraft’s, a toy shop at the Blue Coat Boy, against the Royal Exchange, &c. &c.

THE Right Venetian Strops are the only famous ones made, as shown by the thousands that have been sold. This is despite the many fake imitations and ridiculous claims, like “original,” that are almost daily promoted to push the sale of counterfeits and to diminish the great and truly remarkable reputation of the Venetian Strops. These strops are undoubtedly the best in the world because they give razors, penknives, lancets, and so on, an incredibly fine, smooth, sharp, precise, and long-lasting edge, unlike anything ever known, which has been experienced by thousands of gentlemen in England, Scotland, and Ireland. They are sold exclusively at Mr. Allcraft’s, a toy shop at the Blue Coat Boy, opposite the Royal Exchange, etc. etc.

[31] Both oculists of some renown, who advertised largely.

[31] Both well-known eye doctors who advertised extensively.

[32] On January 1, 1720, the Daily Courant, and other papers, quote South Sea Stock at 12734, 12858, to 128. Bank 15014. India 200, 20012, to 200. The quotation for Thursday, April 7 (in Daily Post, Friday, April 8), is, “Yesterday South Sea Stock was 314, 310, 311, 309, 30912, to 310. Bank 145. India 223.” On the 27th May it was 555, and Bank was 205 (Post Boy, May 28). It then fell a little, but in the Daily Courant of June 2 it is quoted at 610 to 760, Bank 210 to 220, India 290 to 300. The Daily Post of Wednesday, June 8, contains the following puff for the scheme: “’Tis said that the South Sea Company being willing to have all the Annuities subscribed to their Stock, now offer forty-five years’ purchase for those which have not yet been bought in.” And again: “The Annuities which have been subscribed into the South Sea Stock are risen to a very great height, so that what would formerly sell but for £1500, is now worth £8000.” In the Post Boy of June 23-25, we find this: “Yesterday South Sea Stock was for the opening of the Book 1100. 1st Subscr. 565, 2d Subscr. 610, 3rd Subscr. 200. Bank 265. East India 440.” On Friday, June 24, the Daily Post says, “We hear that South Sea Stock was sold yesterday at 1000 per cent., and great wagers are laid that it will be currently sold before the opening of the Books at 1200 per cent. exclusive of the Dividend.” It is several times after this quoted at 1100, but never over. These compilations show that a higher rate was attained by the stock than is given in the article quoted above, or is generally believed.

[32] On January 1, 1720, the Daily Courant and other newspapers report South Sea Stock prices at 127¾ to 128⅝, reaching 128. The Bank price is at 150¼. India stocks are listed at 200, 200½ to 200. The quote for Thursday, April 7 (in Daily Post, Friday, April 8), states, “Yesterday, South Sea Stock was at 314, 310, 311, 309, 309½ to 310. The Bank was at 145. India was at 223.” By May 27, it reached 555, while Bank stood at 205 (Post Boy, May 28). It then dipped slightly, but in the Daily Courant on June 2, it was quoted at 610 to 760, with the Bank price between 210 and 220, and India between 290 and 300. The Daily Post on Wednesday, June 8, features a promotional piece for the scheme: “It is said that the South Sea Company is eager to have all the Annuities subscribed to their Stock and is now offering forty-five years’ purchase for those that haven’t been bought in yet.” Additionally, it states: “The Annuities that have been subscribed into the South Sea Stock have risen significantly, so that what used to sell for £1500 is now worth £8000.” In the Post Boy from June 23-25, we see: “Yesterday, South Sea Stock was opening the Book at 1100. 1st Subscription at 565, 2nd Subscription at 610, 3rd Subscription at 200. The Bank was at 265. East India at 440.” On Friday, June 24, the Daily Post reports, “We hear that South Sea Stock was sold yesterday at 1000 percent, and substantial bets are being made that it will be sold at 1200 percent before the opening of the Books, not including the Dividend.” It is quoted multiple times afterward at 1100, but never exceeds that amount. These records indicate that a higher rate was reached for the stock than noted in the article mentioned above or is generally understood.


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CHAPTER 9.
Mid-18th Century.

The further we advance into the years which mark the Hanoverian succession, the more profligate, reckless, and cruel do the people seem to become. Public exhibitions of the most disgusting character are every day advertised; ruffians and swashbucklers abound, and are ready to do anything for a consideration; animals are tortured at set periods for the delectation of the multitude; and we see verified, by means of the notices in the papers, the peculiarities which Hogarth seized and made immortal, and which so many squeamish people consider to be overdrawn nowadays. Assignations of the most immoral character are openly advertised, and men of the time may well have attempted to ignore the existence of female virtue. A recent writer, commenting on this state of affairs, says, in reference to the latter class of shameless advertisements: “We are far from saying that such matters are not managed now through the medium of advertisements, for they are, but in how much more carefully concealed a manner? The perfect contempt of public opinion, or rather the public acquiescence in such infringements of the moral law which it exhibits, proves the general state of morality more than the infringements themselves, which obtain more or less at all times. Two of the causes which led to this low tone of manners with respect to women were doubtless the detestable profligacy of the courts of the two first Georges, and the very defective condition of the existing marriage law.[177] William and Mary, and Anne, had, by their decorous, not to say frigid lives, redeemed the crown, and in some measure the aristocracy, from the vices of the Restoration. Crown, court, and quality, however, fell into a still worse slough on the accession of the Hanoverian king, who soiled afresh the rising tone of public life by his scandalous connection with the Duchess of Kendal and the Countess of Darlington; whilst his son and successor was absolutely abetted in his vicious courses by his own queen, who promoted his commerce with his two mistresses, the Countesses of Suffolk and Yarmouth. The degrading influence of the royal manners was well seconded by the condition of the law. Keith’s Chapel in Mayfair, and that at the Fleet, were the Gretna Greens of the age, where children could get married at any time of the day or night for a couple of crowns. It was said at the time that at the former chapel six thousand persons were annually married in this offhand way; the youngest of the beautiful Miss Gunnings was wedded to the Duke of Hamilton at twelve o’clock at night, with a ring off the bed-curtain, at this very ‘marriage-shop.’ The fruits of such unions may be imagined. The easy way in which the marriage bond was worn and broken through, is clearly indicated by the advertisements which absolutely crowd the public journals, from the accession of the house of Brunswick up to the time of the third George, of husbands warning the public not to trust their runaway wives.” It must not be imagined, though, that wives were the only sinners, or that vice was confined to any particular and exclusive class. It was the luxury of all, and according to their opportunities all enjoyed it.

The more we move into the years of the Hanoverian succession, the more reckless, immoral, and cruel people seem to become. Daily, advertisements promote public displays of the most repulsive nature; thugs and braggarts are everywhere, willing to do anything for money; animals are cruelly tortured at scheduled times for the entertainment of the crowd; and we see the peculiarities that Hogarth depicted become real, even if many sensitive people today think they're exaggerated. Immoral encounters are openly advertised, and men of the time could easily ignore the idea of female virtue. A recent writer reflecting on this situation says about these shameless ads: “We’re not saying such things aren’t still handled through advertisements, because they are, but they are concealed much more carefully now. The total disregard for public opinion, or rather the public's acceptance of these breaches of moral standards, reflects the overall state of morality more than the breaches themselves, which have always existed to some degree. Two obvious causes of this decline in manners concerning women were the dreadful immorality of the courts under the first two Georges, and the very flawed marriage laws at the time.[177] William and Mary, and Anne, had somewhat redeemed the crown, and the aristocracy to some extent, from the vices of the Restoration through their proper, if rather cold, lives. However, the crown, court, and upper class sank into an even worse state when the Hanoverian king came to power, further tarnishing the rising standard of public life with his scandalous affair with the Duchess of Kendal and the Countess of Darlington; while his son and successor was actively supported in his debauchery by his own queen, who facilitated his relationships with his two mistresses, the Countesses of Suffolk and Yarmouth. The degrading influence of royal behavior was complemented by the state of the law. Keith's Chapel in Mayfair and the Fleet were the Gretna Greens of the time, where couples could marry at any hour for just a couple of crowns. At the time, it was said that at the former chapel, six thousand people were married each year in this casual manner; the youngest of the beautiful Miss Gunnings married the Duke of Hamilton at midnight with a ring taken from the bed-curtain at this very 'marriage shop.' The consequences of such unions can be imagined. The ease with which marriage vows were taken and broken is clearly shown by the flood of advertisements in public newspapers, from the rise of the house of Brunswick to the reign of the third George, of husbands warning the public not to trust their runaway wives.” It shouldn't be assumed that wives were the only wrongdoers or that immorality was limited to any specific class. It was a vice shared by all, enjoyed by everyone according to their means.

About this time Fleet marriages, and the scandals consequent upon them, were in full swing. In a number of the Weekly Journal this statement is made: “From an inspection into the several registers for marriages kept at the several alehouses, brandy-shops, &c., within the Rules of the Fleet Prison, we find no less than thirty-two couples[178] joined together from Monday to Thursday last without licences, contrary to an express Act of Parliament against clandestine marriages, that lays a severe fine of £200 on the minister so offending, and £100 each on the persons so married in contradiction to the said statute. Several of the above-named brandy-men and victuallers keep clergymen in their houses at 20s. per week, hit or miss; but it is reported that one there will stoop to no such low conditions, but makes at least £500 per annum of Divinity jobs after that manner.” A fair specimen of the kind of advertisement published by these gentlemen is this:—

About this time, Fleet marriages and the resulting scandals were at their peak. In several issues of the Weekly Journal, it's reported: “After checking the marriage registers kept at various pubs, brandy shops, etc., within the boundaries of Fleet Prison, we found at least thirty-two couples[178] married from Monday to Thursday last without licenses, violating an explicit Act of Parliament against secret marriages that imposes a hefty fine of £200 on the minister involved, and £100 each on the individuals married in violation of that law. Several of the aforementioned brandy sellers and innkeepers hire clergymen to work in their establishments for £20 a week, depending on how it goes; however, it is claimed that one there refuses to accept such low terms and earns at least £500 a year from marriage services like that.” A typical example of the type of advertisement published by these gentlemen is this:—

G. R.—At the True Chapel, at the old Red Hand and Mitre, three doors up Fleet Lane, and next door to the White Swan, Marriages are performed by authority by the Rev. Mr. Symson, educated at the University of Cambridge, and late chaplain to the Earl of Rothes.

G. R.—At the True Chapel, located at the old Red Hand and Mitre, three doors up Fleet Lane and next to the White Swan, marriages are conducted by the authority of Rev. Mr. Symson, who was educated at the University of Cambridge and was recently the chaplain to the Earl of Rothes.

N.B.—Without imposition.

N.B.—No pressure.

A curious phase of the dangers of the streets is found in a narrative published in the Grub Street Journal of 1735, which is well worth reproducing: “Since midsummer last a young lady of birth and fortune was deluded and forced from her friends, and by the assistance of a wrynecked swearing parson, married to an atheistical wretch, whose life is a continued practice of all manner of vice and debauchery. And since the ruin of my relative, another lady of my acquaintance had like to have been trepanned in the following manner: This lady had appointed to meet a gentlewoman at the Old Playhouse in Drury Lane, but extraordinary business prevented her coming. Being alone when the play was done, she bade a boy call a coach for the city. One dressed like a gentleman helps her into it, and jumps in after her. ‘Madam,’ says he, ‘this coach was called for me, and since the weather is so bad, and there is no other, I beg leave to bear you company; I am going into the City, and will set you down wherever you please.[179]’ The lady begged to be excused, but he bade the coachman drive on. Being come to Ludgate Hill, he told her his sister, who waited his coming but five doors up the court, would go with her in two minutes. He went, and returned with his pretended sister, who asked her to step in one minute, and she would wait upon her in the coach. The poor lady foolishly followed her into the house, when instantly the sister vanished, and a tawny fellow in a black coat and a black wig appeared. ‘Madam, you are come in good time, the doctor was just agoing!’ ‘The doctor!’ says she, terribly frighted, fearing it was a madhouse; ‘what has the doctor to do with me?’ ‘To marry you to that gentleman. The doctor has waited for you these three hours, and will be paid by you or that gentleman before you go!’ ‘That gentleman,’ says she, recovering herself, ‘is worthy a better fortune than mine;’ and begged hard to be gone. But Doctor Wryneck swore she should be married; or if she would not he would still have his fee, and register the marriage for that night. The lady finding she could not escape without money or a pledge, told them she liked the gentleman so well she would certainly meet him to-morrow night, and gave them a ring as a pledge, ‘which,’ says she, ‘was my mother’s gift on her deathbed, enjoining that, if ever I married, it should be my wedding ring;’ by which cunning contrivance she was delivered from the black doctor and his tawny crew.” Pennant, in his “Some Account of London,” says: “In walking along the street in my youth, on the side next the prison, I have often been tempted by the question, ‘Sir, will you be pleased to walk in and be married?’ Along this most lawless space was hung up the frequent sign of a male and female hand enjoined, with ‘Marriages performed within’ written beneath. A dirty fellow invited you in. The parson was seen walking before his shop; a squalid, profligate figure, clad in a tattered plaid nightgown, with a fiery face, and ready to couple you for a dram of gin or a roll of tobacco.” Some[180] of the notes found in the registers purchased by Government in 1821, and deposited with the Registrar of the Consistory Court of London, are very amusing. Here are one or two extracts: “June 10, 1729. John Nelson, of ye parish of St George, Hanover, batchelor and gardener, and Mary Barnes, of ye same, sp. married. Cer. dated 5 November 1727, to please their parents.” “1742, May 24.—A soldier brought a barber to the Cock, who I think said his name was James, barber by trade, was in part married to Elizabeth: they said they were married enough.” “A coachman came, and was half married, and would give but 3s. 6d., and went off.” “Edward —— and Elizabeth —— were married, and would not let me know their names.” A popular error was current at this time, that if a newly-married woman ran across the street with nothing on but her shift, she would free her husband from all liability as to her debts. More than once the following, or words akin to it, is found: “The woman ran across Ludgate Hill in her shift.” Riotous persons often terrified these parsons, such memoranda as the following occurring now and again: “Had a noise for four hours about the money.” “Married at a barber’s shop one Kerrils, for half a guinea, after which it was extorted out of my pocket, and for fear of my life delivered.” “Harrowson swore most bitterly, and was pleased to say that he was fully determined to kill the minister that married him. He came from Gravesend, and was sober.” And so on through infinite variety. But to return to our advertisements.

A fascinating aspect of the dangers of city life is found in a story published in the Grub Street Journal of 1735, which is definitely worth sharing: “Since last summer, a young woman of good family and means was tricked and taken away from her friends, and with the help of a deceitful, swearing clergyman, married off to an immoral man whose life is a series of all kinds of vice and debauchery. After the downfall of my relative, another woman I know nearly fell into a similar trap: This woman had planned to meet a friend at the Old Playhouse in Drury Lane, but due to unexpected circumstances, she couldn’t make it. Left alone once the play was over, she asked a boy to call a carriage for the city. A man dressed like a gentleman helped her into it and jumped in after her. ‘Madam,’ he said, ‘this carriage was called for me, and since the weather is terrible and there aren’t any others, I kindly ask if I can ride with you; I’m going into the City and will drop you off wherever you like.[179]’ The lady asked to be excused, but he insisted the coachman should keep driving. Once they reached Ludgate Hill, he told her his sister, who was waiting for him just five doors up the road, would accompany her in two minutes. He left, and returned with his supposed sister, who asked her to come inside for just a moment, and she would join her in the coach. The poor lady naively followed her into the house, when suddenly the sister disappeared, and a shady man in a black coat and wig appeared. ‘Madam, you’ve arrived just in time, the doctor was about to leave!’ ‘The doctor!’ she exclaimed, terrified, fearing it was a madhouse; ‘what does the doctor want with me?’ ‘To marry you to that gentleman. The doctor has been waiting for you for three hours, and a fee will be required from you or that gentleman before you leave!’ ‘That gentleman,’ she said, regaining her composure, ‘deserves a better fortune than mine;’ and she pleaded to be let go. But Doctor Wryneck swore she would be married; or if she didn’t want that, he would still take his fee and register the marriage for that night. Faced with the reality that she couldn’t escape without either money or a pledge, she told them she liked the gentleman so much that she would definitely meet him tomorrow night and offered them a ring as a pledge, saying, ‘this was my mother’s gift on her deathbed, insisting that if I ever marry, it should be my wedding ring;’ thus, through this clever ruse, she freed herself from the black doctor and his shady crew.” Pennant, in his “Some Account of London,” recalls: “In my youth, while walking along the street next to the prison, I was often tempted by the question, ‘Sir, would you care to come in and get married?’ Along this lawless stretch, there was often a sign displaying a male and female hand joined together, with ‘Marriages performed within’ written underneath. A dirty man would invite you in. The clergyman could be seen walking in front of his shop; a ragged, disheveled figure, wearing a shabby nightgown, with a fiery face, ready to marry you for a shot of gin or a roll of tobacco.” Some[180] of the notes found in the registers purchased by the Government in 1821, and deposited with the Registrar of the Consistory Court of London, are quite amusing. Here are one or two excerpts: “June 10, 1729. John Nelson, of the parish of St George, Hanover, bachelor and gardener, and Mary Barnes, of the same, sp. married. Cert. dated November 5, 1727, to please their parents.” “1742, May 24.—A soldier brought a barber to the Cock, who I think said his name was James, barber by trade, was partly married to Elizabeth: they claimed they were married enough.” “A coachman came and was half-married, offering only 3s. 6d., and left.” “Edward —— and Elizabeth —— were married, but refused to let me know their names.” A popular misconception at the time was that if a newly married woman ran across the street wearing only her shift, it would free her husband from any debts. More than once, the following, or something similar, is found: “The woman ran across Ludgate Hill in her shift.” Rowdy individuals often scared these clergymen, with notes like the following appearing from time to time: “Had a noise for four hours about the money.” “Married at a barber’s shop one Kerrils, for half a guinea, after which it was extorted from my pocket, and for fear of my life I had to hand it over.” “Harrowson swore like mad and declared he was determined to kill the minister who married him. He came from Gravesend and was sober.” And thus it goes, with countless variations. But let’s return to our advertisements.

Though advertisements were by no means scarce about this time, the imposition of the duty still told heavily with regard to the regular business community, for in regular trade few things were advertised with the exception of books and quack medicines, all other commercial matters being disposed of by means of agents who advertised in a general manner, of which the following, from the London Journal of February 7, 1730, is a fair specimen:—

Though there were plenty of advertisements around this time, the added tax had a significant impact on the regular business community. In traditional trade, very few things were advertised aside from books and quack medicines. Most other commercial matters were handled by agents who advertised in a general way. The following is a typical example from the London Journal dated February 7, 1730: sample:—

[181]

[181]

THE Public General Correspondence of affairs, for Improving Money, Trade and Estates, etc.

THE Public General Messages on issues regarding managing finances, commerce, and properties, etc.

Some Persons want to Buy Estates held by Lease from any Bishop, Dean and Chapter, or College, either for Lives or Term of Years.

Some people want to buy leased properties from any bishop, dean and chapter, or college, either for lives or for a term of years.

A Person desires to dispose of considerable Sums of Money, in such manner as will bring him in the best interest, tho’ liable to some uncertainty.

A person wants to manage a large cash amount in a way that will yield the highest return, even though it comes with some risk.

A Rev. Clergyman is willing to Exchange a Rectory of about £250 a year, in a pleasant cheap country, for a Rectory in or near London, tho’ of less value.

A Rev. Clergyman is willing to Swap a Rectory that brings in about £250 a year, in a nice affordable countryside, for a Rectory in or near London, even if it's worth less.

Persons who want to raise a considerable sum of money on Estates, Freehold or For Life, may be served therein, and in such a manner as not to be obliged to repayment, if they do not see fit.

People who want to raise a significant amount of money on Properties, Freehold, or For Life can do so without being required to pay it back if they choose not to.

Estates which some Persons want to Buy.

Estates that some people want to Buy.

Some Freehold Lands not far from Hertford.—An Estate from £200 to about £500 a year, within 60 miles of London.—A large Estate in Middlesex or Hertfordshire.—A good Farm in Sussex or Surrey.—And several persons want to buy and some to hire other estates.

Some freehold land not far from Hertford. - An estate ranging from £200 to about £500 a year, within 60 miles of London. - A large estate in Middlesex or Hertfordshire. - A good farm in Sussex or Surrey. - And several individuals are looking to buy, while others want to rent additional estates.

Estates which some Persons want to Sell.

Properties that some people want to Sell.

Several good Houses in and about London, both Freehold and Leasehold.—A very good house for a Gentleman, pleasantly situated near Bury, with good gardens, etc. and some estate in land.—Several houses fit for gentlemen in the country, within 20 miles of London, some with and some without land.—And several persons want to sell, and some to let other estates.

Several nice houses in and around London, both owned and rented. — A great house for a gentleman, nicely located near Bury, with good gardens and some land. — Several suitable houses for gentlemen in the countryside, within 20 miles of London, some with land and some without. — And there are several people looking to sell, and some wanting to rent out other properties.

The Particulars will be given by Mr Thomas Rogers, Agent for persons who want any such business to be done. He answers letters Post-paid, and advertises if desired, not otherwise, All at his own charge if not successful.

The details will be provided by Mr. Thomas Rogers, Agent for those who need any such work done. He replies to letters with prepaid postage, and will advertise if requested, but not otherwise, all at his own expense if he is not successful.

He gives Attendance as undermentioned:

He gives attendance as follows:

Daily except Saturdays from 4 to 6 o’clock at home in Essex Street, then at Rainbow Coffee-house, by the Temple.

Daily except Saturdays from 4 to 6 PM at home on Essex Street, then at Rainbow Coffeehouse, near the Temple.

At 12
o’clock

At noon

Tuesday at Tom’s Coffee-house, by the Exchange.
Thursday at Will’s Coffee-house, near Whitehall.
And on sending for he will go to persons near.

Tuesday at Tom’s Coffee House, by the Trade.
Thursday at Will’s Coffee House, near Whitehall Street.
And when requested, he will go to people nearby.

The next advertisement which offers itself for special notice is of a somewhat ludicrous character, and shows into what straits a man may get by means of a highly-developed imagination and an indiscreet tongue. It runs thus:—

The next advertisement that stands out for special attention is somewhat ridiculous and illustrates how a man can find himself in tricky situations due to an overactive imagination and a loose tongue. It goes like this: —

[182]

[182]

Bristol, January 19, 17323.

Bristol, January 19, 17323.

WHEREAS on or about the 10th day of November last I did say in the Presence of Several People, That Anthony Coller, living at the Sign of the Ship and Dove in the Pithay in Bristol, was sent to Newgate for putting Live Toads in his Beer, in order to fine it; I do solemnly declare, That I never knew any such Thing to have been done by the said Coller nor do I believe he was ever guilty of the aforesaid or any like Practice; I am therefore heartily sorry for what I have said and hereby ask Pardon for the same of the above said Person, who, I fear, has been greatly injur’d by the unguarded Tongue of Joseph Robins.

WWHEREAS around November 10th, I stated in front of several people that Anthony Coller, who lives at the Ship and Dove in the Pithay, Bristol, was sent to Newgate for putting live toads in his beer to ruin it; I sincerely declare that I never knew of such an action being taken by Coller, nor do I believe he was ever involved in such behavior or anything similar. I am truly sorry for what I said and I hereby ask for forgiveness from the above-mentioned person, who I fear has been greatly harmed by my careless words. Joseph Robins.

To this curious confession, which was evidently extorted from the imaginative but timid Joseph, four witnesses appended their names. The next gentleman to whom our attention is directed was still more unfortunate than Mr Robins, for he received punishment without having committed any particular offence. He, however, seems to have been made of very different mettle from the Bristol man, for he is anxious to try his chances on better terms with those who assaulted him. The advertisement is from the Daily Post of January 22, 1739-40:—

To this curious confession, which was clearly forced out of the imaginative yet timid Joseph, four witnesses signed their names. The next man we focus on was even more unfortunate than Mr. Robins, as he faced punishment without having done anything wrong. However, he appears to be made of a different character than the man from Bristol, as he is eager to take his chances against those who attacked him. The advertisement is from the Daily Post dated January 22, 1739-40:—

WHEREAS on Saturday the 12th instant between six and seven at night, a gentleman coming along the north side of Lincolns Inn fields was set upon by three persons unknown and receiv’d several blows before he could defend himself, upon a presumption, as they said that he was the author of a Satire call’d “the Satirist.” This is to inform them that they are greatly mistaken, and that the insulted person is neither the author of that Satire nor of any Satire or Poem whatever, nor knows what the said Satire contains: and therefore has reason to expect, if they are Gentlemen, that they will not refuse him a meeting, by a line to A. Z., to be left at the Bar of Dick’s Coffee House, Temple Bar, in order to make him such atonement as shall be judged reasonable by the friends on each side; otherwise he is ready to give any one of them, singly, the satisfaction of a Gentleman, when and wherever shall be appointed, so as he may not have to deal with Numbers.

WHEREAS on Saturday the 12th at around six to seven in the evening, a man walking along the north side of Lincoln's Inn Fields was attacked by three unknown individuals and received several hits before he could defend himself, based on the assumption, as they claimed, that he was the writer of a satire called “the Satirist.” This is to inform them that they are seriously mistaken and that the assaulted individual is neither the author of that satire nor of any satire or poem at all, nor does he know what the said satire contains. Therefore, he expects that, if they are gentlemen, they will not refuse him a meeting by sending a message to A. Z., to be left at the Bar of Dick’s Coffee House, Temple Bar, to arrange for him to receive reasonable atonement as determined by the friends on both sides; otherwise, he is prepared to offer any one of them, individually, the satisfaction of a gentleman, wherever and whenever shall be arranged, provided that he does not have to face multiple opponents.

A. Z. must have been possessed of a considerable amount of faith if he believed that the rufflers who set upon him unawares would consent either to expose themselves, or to give what he and others called, in a thoughtless manner, “the satisfaction[183] of a gentleman.” It must have been rare satisfaction at any time to be run through the body or shot through the head, after having been insulted or injured. In the London Daily Post and General Advertiser, shortly after this (February 5, 1739-40), is an advertisement which looks suspiciously like a hoax, unless, indeed, it was believed at the time that one swallow would make a summer. As the advertiser was probably devoted to the agricultural interest, this is a not unlikely solution of the problem, more especially as a caged bird would naturally not be expected to possess the desired power:—

A. Z. must have had quite a bit of faith if he thought that the attackers who ambushed him would agree to either reveal themselves or provide what he and others casually referred to as “the satisfaction[183] of a gentleman.” It must have been a rare kind of satisfaction to be stabbed or shot after being insulted or harmed. In the London Daily Post and General Advertiser, shortly after this (February 5, 1739-40), there’s an ad that seems like a joke, unless people really believed that seeing one swallow meant summer was here. Since the advertiser was likely focused on agriculture, this is a plausible explanation for the situation, especially considering that a caged bird wouldn’t be expected to have the desired power:—

IF any person will deliver a Swallow, Swift (commonly called a Jack Squeeler) or Martin, alive to Mr Thomas Meysey, at Bewdley in Worcestershire, before the 22d day of this instant February, he shall have Ten Guineas Reward paid him, and all reasonable charges allowed him for his journey by the said Thomas Meysey: Or if any person will deliver either of the said birds to Mr John Perrins, Distiller, in Butcher Row, London, soon enough to send it to the said Thomas Meysey at Bewdley before the 22d Instant February, and the bird shall be alive when delivered, or come to live after it is delivered to the said Thomas Meysey, he shall have Ten Guineas Reward paid him, and all reasonable charges allowed him by the said John Perrins.

IF anyone can deliver a live Swallow, Swift (commonly known as a Jack Squeeler), or Martin to Mr. Thomas Meysey in Bewdley, Worcestershire, before February 22nd of this month, they will receive a reward of Ten Guineas and reasonable travel expenses reimbursed by Mr. Thomas Meysey. Alternatively, if anyone can deliver one of those birds to Mr. John Perrins, a distiller on Butcher Row in London, in time for it to be sent to Mr. Meysey in Bewdley before February 22nd, and the bird is alive upon delivery or recovers to live after delivery, they will also receive a Ten Guineas reward along with reasonable expenses covered by Mr. John Perrins.

These birds are oftentimes found in the clifts in great rocks, old chimneys, and old houses, seemingly dead; but when they are put before a fire, they will come to life.

These birds are often found in the cliffs of large rocks, old chimneys, and old houses, appearing lifeless; but when placed in front of a fire, they will come to life.

N.B.—It must not be a Swallow, Swift or Martin that has been kept in a cage.

N.B.—It should not be a Swallow, Swift, or Martin that has been kept in a cage.

There must have been much capturing of small birds, and many may have been roasted alive in attempts to preserve them for the benefit of Thomas Meysey. It certainly does appear as if about this time humour was so rife that it had to find vent in all sorts of strange advertisements, and the quacks were not slow to follow the lead thus set, as is shown by the exercising swindle which follows, and which certainly must have exercised the minds of many who read it at the time. It appears in the same paper as the foregoing, on March 7, 1739-40. (It is almost time by March to know what year one is in.)

There must have been a lot of small birds being caught, and many may have been roasted alive in attempts to keep them for Thomas Meysey's benefit. It definitely seems like during this time, humor was so prevalent that it had to be expressed in all kinds of bizarre advertisements. The con artists were quick to jump on this trend, as seen in the scam that follows, which surely puzzled many readers at the time. It appears in the same paper as the previous one, on March 7, 1739-40. (By March, it's almost time to know what year it is.)

[184]

[184]

FULLER on Exercise.
(A Book worth reading)

FULLER on Exercise.
(A must-read)

NOTHING ought to be thought ridiculous that can afford the least ease or procure health. A very worthy gentleman not long ago had such an odd sort of a cholick, that he found nothing would relieve him so much as lying with his head downwards; which posture prov’d always so advantageous that he had a frame made to which he himself was fastened with Bolts, and then was turned head downwards, after which manner he hung till the pain went off. I hope none will say that this was unbecoming a grave and wise man, to make use of such odd means to get rid of an unsupportable pain. If people would but abstract the benefit got by exercise from the means by which it is got, they would set a great value upon it, if some of the advantages accruing from exercise were to be procured by any other medicine, nothing in the world would be in more esteem than that Medicine.

NNOTHING should be considered ridiculous if it offers even a little relief or improves health. A very respectable gentleman recently had such an unusual kind of stomach pain that he found the only thing that helped was lying with his head down. This position proved to be so beneficial that he had a frame made where he was secured with bolts, allowing him to hang upside down until the pain subsided. I hope no one would claim that it was unseemly for a serious and wise man to resort to such peculiar methods to escape unbearable pain. If people could just separate the benefits of exercise from the ways it’s achieved, they would truly appreciate it; if some of the benefits from exercising could be obtained through any other medicine, nothing in the world would be more valued than that medicine.

This is to answer some objections to the book of the Chamber Horse (for exercise) invented by Henry Marsh, in Clement’s Inn Passage, Clare Market; who, it is well known, has had the honour to serve some persons of the greatest distinction in the Kingdom; and he humbly begs the favour of Ladies and Gentlemen to try both the Chamber Horses, which is the only sure way of having the best. This machine may be of great service to children.

This is to address some objections to the book on the Chamber Horse (for exercise) created by Henry Marsh, located in Clement’s Inn Passage, Clare Market; who, as it is widely recognized, has had the privilege of serving some of the most distinguished individuals in the Kingdom; and he kindly requests that Ladies and Gentlemen try both Chamber Horses, which is the only reliable way to obtain the best results. This device could be very beneficial for children.

Mr Marsh may have been clever at making horses for chamber use, but he doesn’t seem to have understood argument much; for whatever pleasure there may be in bolting oneself on to a board, and then standing on one’s head, it isn’t much in the way of exercise, even though Fuller may have been at the bottom of it. We beg his pardon on it. Still, the idea is ingenious, and in a population, the majority of which, we are informed, consists mainly of fools, would succeed now. From this same London Daily Post and General Advertiser, which is full of strange and startling announcements, we take another advertisement, that is likely to arouse the attention and excite the envy of all who nowadays suffer from those dwellers in tents and other forms of bedsteads, the “mahogany flats” or Norfolk Howards, who are particularly rapacious in lodgings which are let after a long term of vacancy. This knowledge is the result of actual experience. The date is March 15, 1740:—

Mr. Marsh might have been skilled at creating horses for indoor use, but he doesn’t seem to have grasped the concept of argument very well; because whatever enjoyment comes from strapping yourself to a board and then standing on your head, it doesn’t really count as exercise, even if Fuller might have been behind it. We apologize for that. Still, the idea is clever, and in a population where most people, as we’re told, are pretty foolish, it would probably succeed today. From the same London Daily Post and General Advertiser, which is filled with strange and surprising news, we found another ad that is likely to catch the attention and stir the envy of everyone who currently deals with those living in tents and other types of beds, the “mahogany flats” or Norfolk Howards, who are especially greedy when it comes to renting places that have been empty for a long time. This insight comes from firsthand experience. The date is March 15, 1740:—

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MARY SOUTHALL

MARY SOUTHALL

Successor to John Southall, the first and only person that ever found out the nature of Buggs, Author of the Treatise of those nauseous venomous Insects, published with the Approbation (and for which he had the honour to receive the unanimous Thanks) of the Royal Society,

Successor to John Southall, the first and only person to ever discover the nature of Bugs, Author of the Treatise on those disgusting venomous Insects, published with the approval (and for which he received the unanimous thanks) of the Royal Society,

Gives Notice,

Notifies,

THAT since his decease she hath followed the same business, and lives at the house of Mrs Mary Roundhall, in Bearlane, Christ Church Parish, Southwark. Such quality and gentry as are troubled with buggs, and are desirous to be kept free from those vermin, may know, on sending their commands to her lodgings aforesaid, when she will agree with them on easy terms, and at the first sight will justly tell them which of their beds are infested, &c., and which are free, and what is the expense of clearing the infested ones, never putting any one to more expense than necessary.

THat since his passing, she has continued the same line of work and lives at the home of Mrs. Mary Roundhall, on Bearlane, in Christ Church Parish, Southwark. Those of you who are dealing with bedbugs and want to be rid of these pests can reach out to her at her address mentioned above. She will quickly assess which of your beds are infested and which are not, and she will also explain the cost to eliminate the pests, ensuring that no one pays more than needed.

Persons who cannot afford to pay her price, and is willing to destroy them themselves, may by sending notice to her place of abode aforesaid, be furnish’d with the Non Pareil Liquor, &c. &c.

People who can't afford to pay her price and are willing to handle it themselves can send a notice to her home address to get the Nonpareil Liquor, etc. etc.

Bugs are said to have been very little if at all known in the days of our ancestors. It is indeed affirmed in that valuable addition to zoology, Southall’s “Treatise of Bugs” (London, 1730, 8vo), referred to in the advertisement just quoted, that this insect was scarcely known in England before the year 1670, when it was imported among the timber used in rebuilding the city of London after the fire of 1666. That it was, however, known much earlier is not to be doubted, though probably it was far less common than at present, since Dr Thomas Muffet, in the “Theatrum Insectorum,” informs us that Dr Penny, one of the early compilers of that history of insects, relates his having been sent for in great haste to Mortlake in Surrey, to visit two noble ladies who imagined themselves seized with symptoms of the plague; but on Penny’s demonstrating to them the true cause of their complaint—viz., having been bitten by those insects, and even detecting them in their presence—the whole affair was turned into a jest. This was in the year 1583. It[186] is a somewhat remarkable fact, well known to those whose misfortunes subject them to contiguity with these highly-scented bloodsuckers, that within the past few years bugs have altered considerably. The old, nearly round-bellied, and possibly jovial fellow, has given way to a long dangerous creature who is known to experts as the “omnibus bug,” not so much on account of his impartiality as because of his shape. It is believed by some that this change is the result of bugs being discontented with their position, and their natural (and laudable) attempt to become something else in accordance with scientific theory; but we fancy that the true reason of this change is that foreign bugs have been imported in large numbers among cargoes, and not infrequently about passengers, and that the original settlers are being gradually exterminated in a manner similar to that which led to the extirpation of the black rat in this country. There is yet another theory with regard to the change which it would be unfair to pass over. It is that the bugs have altered—it is admitted on all sides that the alteration first exhibited itself at the East End of London—in consequence of feeding on mixed and barbarous races about Ratcliffe Highway and other dock purlieus. Any one who pays his money for this book is at liberty to take his choice of hypotheses, but we can assure him that the change is undoubtedly matter of fact.

Bugs were hardly known at all during the days of our ancestors. In fact, it’s stated in Southall’s “Treatise of Bugs” (London, 1730, 8vo), mentioned in the earlier advertisement, that this insect was barely recognized in England before 1670, when it was brought over with the timber used to rebuild London after the fire of 1666. However, it was definitely known much earlier, though probably much less common than now. Dr. Thomas Muffet, in “Theatrum Insectorum,” tells us that Dr. Penny, an early compiler of insect history, was urgently called to Mortlake in Surrey to see two noble ladies who thought they had the plague; but once Penny showed them that their symptoms were actually from bug bites—and even found the bugs with them—the whole situation became a joke. This incident happened in 1583. It’s an interesting fact, well known to those who have unfortunate encounters with these highly-scented bloodsuckers, that bugs have changed quite a bit in recent years. The old, nearly round-bellied, and possibly jovial bug has been replaced by a long, dangerous creature known to experts as the “omnibus bug,” not so much because of its neutrality but due to its shape. Some believe this change is due to bugs being unhappy with their situation and their natural (and commendable) attempt to evolve, based on scientific theory; but we think the real reason is that foreign bugs have been brought in large numbers through cargoes and sometimes with passengers, and the original bugs are gradually being wiped out, similar to what happened to the black rat in this country. There’s another theory about this change that deserves mention. It suggests that bugs have evolved—it’s widely accepted that the change started in the East End of London—because they’ve been feeding on mixed and diverse populations around Ratcliffe Highway and other dock areas. Anyone who buys this book is free to choose their theory, but we assure you that the change is definitely a matter of fact.

The next specimen taken is of a literary turn, and appears in the Champion, or the Evening Advertiser, of January 2, 1741. From it we may judge of the number of burlesques and travesties which, some large, some small, were called into existence by the publication of what many consider to be Richardson’s masterpiece. Whatever rank “Pamela” may hold as compared with “Clarissa Harlowe,” “Sir Charles Grandison,” and other works by the same author, it is very little regarded now, while one of the books to which it gave rise is now a representative work of English literature. Here is the literary advertisement of the day:—

The next example is literary in nature and appears in the Champion, or the Evening Advertiser, from January 2, 1741. From this, we can gauge the number of parodies and spoofs—some big, some small—that were created in response to what many consider to be Richardson’s masterpiece. Regardless of the status “Pamela” has compared to “Clarissa Harlowe,” “Sir Charles Grandison,” and other works by the same author, it is not held in much esteem today, while one of the books it inspired has become a key work of English literature. Here’s the literary advertisement from that day:—

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[187]

This Day is publish’d
(Price One Shilling and Sixpence),

This Day is released
(Price One Pound and Six Pence),

AN APOLOGY for the LIFE of Mrs. Shamela Andrews, in which the many notorious Falsehoods and Misrepresentations of a book called Pamela are all expos’d and refuted; and the matchless Arts of that young Politician set in a true and just light. Together with a full Account of all that passed between her and Parson Arthur Williams, whose character is represented in a Manner somewhat different from what he bears in Pamela, the whole being exact Copies of authentick Papers deliver’d to the Editor. Necessary to be had in all Families. With a modern Dedication after the Manner of the Antients, especially Cicero. By Mr. Conny Keyber.

AN APOLOGY for the LIFE of Mrs. Shamela Andrews, in which the many notorious Falsehoods and Misrepresentations of a book called Pamela are all exposed and disproved; and the unmatched Skills of that young Politician presented in an accurate and fair way. Along with a complete account of everything that happened between her and Parson Arthur Williams, whose character is portrayed in a manner somewhat different from how he is depicted in Pamela, the whole being precise copies of authentic documents delivered to the Editor. Essential for all Families. With a modern Dedication in the style of the Ancients, especially Cicero. By Mr. Conny Keyber.

Printed for A. Dodd, at the Peacock without Temple Bar,
Where may be had, Price 1s.,

Printed for A. Dodd, at the Peacock without Temple Bar,
Available for purchase, Price 1s.,

1. The Court Secret, a Melancholy Truth. Translated from the Original Arabic. By an Adept in the Oriental Tongues.

1. The Court Secrets, a Sad Reality. Translated from the Original Arabic. By an Expert in the Eastern Languages.

Keep in mind that a Prince's secrets are hidden treasures;
But Poison if discovered. —Massinger.

Also, Price 1s.,

Also, Price £1.

2. A Faithful Narrative of the Unfortunate Adventures of Charles Cartwright, M.D., who in his voyage to Jamaica was taken by a Spanish Privateer, and carried into St Sebastians. His hard usage there, and wonderful Escape from thence, &c. &c.

2. A True Story of the Unfortunate Adventures of Charles Cartwright, M.D., who, during his trip to Jamaica, was captured by a Spanish privateer and taken to St Sebastians. His mistreatment there and incredible escape from there, etc.

The “Court Secret” is possibly a satire on the evil doings which were notorious in connection with high places at that time, but which happily died out with their primary causes; and the other book is doubtless one of those quaint stories of slavery and adventure which form interesting reading even to this day. Next we come upon an advertisement which offers special temptation to the female mind, as it combines the gratification of more than one ruling passion of the time. It is from the General Advertiser of April 27, 1745:—

The “Court Secret” is probably a satire about the wrongful actions that were well-known in relation to the elite at the time, but thankfully faded away with their main causes; and the other book is certainly one of those charming tales of slavery and adventure that are still interesting to read today. Next, we find an advertisement that appeals especially to women, as it satisfies more than one dominant desire of the time. It’s from the General Advertiser of April 27, 1745:—

The Interpretation of
Women’s
DREAMS,

The Interpretation of
Women’s
DREAMS,

With the Prints of these Dreams finely Engraved.

With the Prints of these Dreams finely engraved.

If a Single Woman Dreams the 18th Dream, it tells when she’ll be married. If the 19th, she may make her fortune.—The 35th tells what children she’ll have. But if she dreams the 34th Dream

If a Single Woman Dreams the 18th Dream, it indicates when she’ll get married. If she dreams the 19th, she might become wealthy. —The 35th reveals what kind of children she’ll have. But if she dreams the 34th Dream

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She may as well wed Farinelli, All one
With a curious print of Farinelli finely engraved,
Plainly shewing to open and clear view, etc.
The 42d Dream describes the man she’s to have, and
The 33d tells a Wife also to Look about Her.
The rest of the Dreams tell, etc. etc. etc.

She might as well marry Farinelli, All one
With a detailed print of Farinelli beautifully engraved,
Clearly displayed for everyone to see, etc.
The 42nd Dream describes the man she’s meant to be with, and
The 33rd advises a Partner to also Look around you.
The rest of the Dreams explain, etc. etc. etc.

To which is added A Lottery

To which is added A Lottery

For Husbands for young Maids,
With the Prints of these Husbands, Finely Engraved.
Not one Blank, but All Prizes, the Lowest of which
Is a very Handsome and Rich Young Gentleman that keeps his Coach.
—And if she draws of the 6th class of Tickets, she is then sure to be
My Lady.
To be drawn as soon as full—And
Any Maiden that will put off Two Tickets, shall have One for Her
Self
to put her in Fortune’s way.

For Partners for young Housekeepers,
With the Prints of these Partners, beautifully engraved.
Not a single blank, but All prizes, the Lowest of which
Is a very Handsome and Wealthy Young Gentleman who drives his Coach.
—And if she selects from the 6th class of Tickets, she is guaranteed to be
My Lady.
To be drawn as soon as full—And
Any Maiden that puts aside Two Tickets shall receive One for Her
Self
to put her in Fortune’s way.

’Tis Given Gratis at Mr Burchell’s Anodyne Necklace Shop in Long Acre, Cutler and Toyshop. The sign of the case of knives next shop to Drury Lane,

’It's Free of charge at Mr Burchell’s Pain Relief Necklace Shop in Long Acre, Cutler and Toyshop. The sign of the case of knives next to Drury Lane,

Where it does Ready Lie For all who will stop by.

This Mr Burchell of the Anodyne Necklace was a notorious quack of the time, to whom reference is made further on. It is patent to the most casual observer that he is able to dispose his wares in the most tempting manner, and the book, as well as the tickets, must have had a very good sale indeed. Also portraying the tastes and peculiarities of this portion of the eighteenth century is an invitation taken from the General Advertiser in October 1745, which displays inordinate vanity on the part of the writer, or, to put it in the mildest form, peculiarity of behaviour on that of the lady to whom he addresses himself:—

This Mr. Burchell of the Anodyne Necklace was a famous fraud of his time, as noted in further on. It's obvious to even the most casual observer that he's great at showcasing his products in an appealing way, and both the book and the tickets must have sold very well. Also reflecting the tastes and quirks of this part of the eighteenth century is an invitation taken from the General Advertiser in October 1745, which shows a great deal of vanity from the writer or, to put it mildly, odd behavior from the lady he addresses himself:—

WHEREAS a lady last Saturday evening at the playhouse in Drury Lane in one of the left-hand boxes, was observed to take particular notice of a gentleman who sat about the middle of the pit, and as her company would be esteemed the greatest favour, she is humbly desired to send him directions, where and in what manner she would be waited upon, and direct the said letter to be left for P. M. Z. at the Portugal Coffee house near the Exchange.

WHEREAS a woman last Saturday night at the theater on Drury Lane was seen to pay special attention to a man sitting around the middle of the audience. Since her company would be highly valued, she kindly requests that he be given instructions on where and how she would like to be visited, and that the letter should be addressed to P. M. Z. at the Portugal Coffee House near the Exchange.

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Notices of this kind—many of the most barefaced, and not a few of a decidedly indelicate description—must have been a fruitful source of income to the proprietors of newspapers; and that professions of adoration for unknown women—most of whom were presumably married, else why all the concealment and strategy?—did not fall off as years progressed is shown by the following, taken from a wealth of the same kind in the commencement of 1748. It is also from the General Advertiser:—

Notices like these—many of the most outrageous, and quite a few that were definitely inappropriate—must have been a significant source of income for newspaper owners. The fact that declarations of love for unknown women—most of whom were likely married; otherwise, why all the secrecy and tactics?—did not decline over the years is demonstrated by the following, taken from a similar set of ads at the beginning of 1748. It’s also from the General Advertiser:—

WHEREAS a young lady was at Covent Garden playhouse last Tuesday night, and received a blow with a square piece of wood on her breast; if the lady be single and meet me on Sunday at two o’clock, on the Mall in St James’s Park, or send a line directed for A. B., to Mr Jones’s, at the Sun Tavern at St Paul’s Churchyard, where and when I shall wait on her, to inform her of something very much to her advantage on honourable terms, her compliance will be a lasting pleasure to her most obedient servant.

WHEREAS a young woman was at the Covent Garden theater last Tuesday night and got hit in the chest with a square piece of wood; if the woman is single and meets me on Sunday at 2 PM, at the Mall in St James’s Park, or sends a message addressed to A. B. at Mr. Jones’s, at the Sun Tavern in St Paul’s Churchyard, I will be waiting for her to share some news that would greatly benefit her on honorable terms. I assure you, her agreement will bring lasting pleasure to her most obedient servant.

This man, though somewhat rude in his style, and, judging from the description of his adventure at the playhouse, rather coarse in his manners, is noticeable for stipulating that his charmer shall be single. Let us hope that, if his intentions were honourable, he prospered in his suit. If he didn’t, then perhaps he felt consoled by the knowledge that virtue is its own reward.

This man, while a bit rough around the edges and, based on his experience at the theater, somewhat crude in his behavior, stands out for insisting that his love interest must be single. Let's hope that if his intentions were good, he succeeded in his pursuit. If not, maybe he found comfort in knowing that doing the right thing has its own rewards.

TO THE JOYOUS.—The Bloods are desired to meet together at the house known by the name of the Sir Hugh Middleton, near Saddler’s Wells, Islington, which Mr Skeggs has procured for that day for the better entertainment of those Gentlemen who agreed to meet at his own house. Dinner will be on the Table punctually at two o’clock.

TO THE JOYOUS.—The Bloods are asked to gather at the house called the Sir Hugh Middleton, near Saddler’s Wells, Islington, which Mr. Skeggs has arranged for that day to better host the gentlemen who agreed to meet at his home. Dinner will be served promptly at two o’clock.

The advertisement just given, which appears in the General Advertiser for January 13, 1748, is one of the rare instances of anything relating to politics in advertisements. The only time when political significance is given to an advertisement is when party dinners, of which the foregoing seems to be one, are advertised. The Sir Hugh Middleton is still in existence, and a few years back, when Sadle[190]r’s Wells was the only home for legitimacy in London, was much frequented by theatrical stars and the lesser lights of the drama. Comparatively recently a music-hall has been added to the establishment, which, however profitable in a pecuniary sense, hardly adds to the reputation of this well-known and once suburban tavern. In another preliminary notice, which appears early in April, attention is directed to another part of the town, and probably to another phase of political and party existence. It is, like the others, from the General Advertiser, which at the time was a great medium. The two which follow it are also from the same paper:—

The advertisement just mentioned, which appears in the General Advertiser for January 13, 1748, is one of the rare instances where politics is featured in advertisements. The only time political significance is attached to an advertisement is when party dinners, like the one mentioned, are promoted. The Sir Hugh Middleton is still around, and a few years ago, when Sadler’s Wells was the only venue for legitimate performances in London, it was popular among theater stars and lesser-known actors. Recently, a music hall has been added to the establishment, which, although profitable, doesn't really enhance the reputation of this well-known and once suburban tavern. In another notice that appears early in April, attention turns to a different area of town, likely highlighting another aspect of political and party life. This, like the others, is from the General Advertiser, which at the time was a major publication. The next two that follow are also from the same paper:—

HALF-MOON TAVERN, CHEAPSIDE.—Saturday next, the 16 April, being the anniversary of the Glorious Battle of Culloden, the Stars will assemble in the Moon at six in the evening. Therefore the choice spirits are desired to make their appearance and fill up the joy.

HALF-MOON TAVERN, CHEAPSIDE.—Next Saturday, April 16, marking the anniversary of the Glorious Battle of Culloden, the Stars will gather in the Moon at 6 PM. So, the favored guests are encouraged to join in and share the happiness.

It is not hard to determine the sentiments of those who then called Culloden a glorious battle, though we should think there are few nowadays who, whatever their tastes and sympathies, would affix the adjective to a victory which, however decisive, was marred by one of the most disgraceful and cowardly massacres of any time. But the shame still rests on the memory of that man who was truly a butcher—a butcher of the defenceless, but an impotent officer and arrant coward in the presence of armed equality; and so, as his name leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, we will pass on to a contemporary card put forth by an enterprising tradesman:—

It’s easy to see how those who called Culloden a glorious battle felt at the time, but we think there are few today who, no matter their preferences or beliefs, would describe a victory that, while decisive, was tainted by one of the most shameful and cowardly massacres in history as glorious. The shame still lingers on the memory of that man who was genuinely a butcher—a butcher of the defenseless, yet a powerless officer and absolute coward when faced with equal armed opposition; and so, since his name leaves a bad taste, we’ll move on to a contemporary advertisement put out by an enterprising contractor:—

JOHN WARD, Stay-Maker,

JOHN WARD, Stay-Maker,

AT the Golden Dove, in Hanover Street, Long Acre, Makes Tabby all over for £1, 13s. 0d., for large sizes £1, 16s. 0d.; ticken backs £1, 7s. 0d., for large sizes two or three shillings advance, with the very best of goods and the very best of work; neither would I accept a ship-load of the second-best bone, and be obliged to use it, to deceive people, nor tabby nor trimming. I am willing to produce receipts in a court of justice for tabby, bone, &c., and be entirely disannulled business, or counted an impostor and a deceiver, if I act contrary to what I propose;[191] which if I did I should be guilty of nothing but deceit, nor nothing less than fraud, and so don’t ought to be allowed; but I can give the direct contrary proofs; for I can prove I have had eighteen measures at a time by me since Christmas, for people as I have made for several times before, and all the winter never less than five or six in a week, often more, all old customers; and in consideration its all for ready money, it shows a prodigious satisfaction. I buy for ready money, and that commands the best of goods, and the allowance made in consideration thereof.

AT the Golden Dove, located on Hanover Street, Long Acre, Tabby is priced at £1, 13s. 0d., with larger sizes going for £1, 16s. 0d.; ticken backs are £1, 7s. 0d., with an increase of two or three shillings for large sizes, all featuring the highest quality goods and workmanship. I wouldn’t take a shipload of second-rate materials and use them to mislead people, whether it's tabby or trimming. I’m prepared to provide receipts in a court of law for tabby, bone, etc., and if I act contrary to what I claim, I would deserve to be completely discredited or labeled a fraud; however, I have proof to the contrary. I can demonstrate that I've had eighteen orders at once since Christmas from customers I’ve served before, and throughout the winter, I’ve consistently had at least five or six orders a week, often more, all from returning customers. Given that this is all for cash upfront, it shows a remarkable level of satisfaction. I purchase for cash, and that allows me to secure the best quality goods, which reflects the discounts provided for that.

Mr Ward speaks like a conscientious man, but so do most of the manufacturers of female apparel—or at least they endeavour to—who advertise. The General Advertiser was started in 1745, and its title indicates the purpose for which it was intended. It was “the first successful attempt to depend for support upon the advertisements it contained, thereby creating a new era in the newspaper press. From the very outset its columns were filled with them, between fifty and sixty, regularly classified and separated by rules, appearing in each publication; in fact the advertising page put on for the first time a modern look. The departure of ships is constantly notified, and the engravings of these old high-pooped vessels sail in even line down the column. Trading matters have at last got the upper hand. You see ‘a pair of leather bags,’ ‘a scarlet laced coat,’ ‘a sword,’ still inquired after; and theatres make a show, for this was the dawning of the age of Foote, Macklin, Garrick, and most of the other great players of the last century; but, comparatively speaking, the gaieties and follies of the town ceased gradually from this time to proclaim themselves through the medium of advertisements.” The great earthquake at Lisbon so frightened people about this time that a law was passed prohibiting masquerades; and the other means of amusement, the china auctions, the rope-dancing, the puppet shows, and the public breakfasts, became scarcer and scarcer as a new generation sprang into being, and the padded, powdered, and patched ladies of high descent and doubtful reputation faded from the world[192] of fashion. This, however, was a work of time, and the crop of noticeable advertisements, though smaller, is still sufficiently large for the purpose of making extracts.

Mr. Ward sounds like a responsible guy, but so do most of the makers of women’s clothing—or at least they try to—who advertise. The General Advertiser started in 1745, and its name shows what it was meant for. It was “the first successful attempt to support itself through the advertisements it contained, creating a new era in the newspaper industry. Right from the beginning, its pages were filled with ads, with about fifty to sixty of them regularly organized and separated by lines in each issue; in fact, the advertising page gave a modern look for the first time. Ship departures were constantly announced, and engravings of those old high-pooped vessels sailed neatly down the column. Commercial interests finally gained the upper hand. You’d see ‘a pair of leather bags,’ ‘a scarlet laced coat,’ ‘a sword,’ still being sought after; and theaters made a splash, as this was the beginning of the era of Foote, Macklin, Garrick, and most of the other big actors from the last century; but, comparatively speaking, the fun and frivolities of the city gradually stopped making themselves known through advertisements.” The major earthquake in Lisbon scared people so much around this time that a law was passed banning masquerades; and other forms of entertainment, such as china auctions, rope-dancing, puppet shows, and public breakfasts, became fewer as a new generation emerged, and the padded, powdered, and patched women of high status and questionable reputation faded from the fashion world. This, however, took time, and while the volume of notable advertisements was smaller, it was still large enough to make extracts.

Continuing, then, on our way, we do not travel far from the staymaker’s announcement, and are still in the same month, when we drop upon a notice which requires no explanation, so well does it apply itself to the minds of those whom it may concern. It runs thus:—

Continuing on our journey, we don’t stray far from the staymaker’s announcement, and we’re still in the same month when we come across a notice that needs no explanation, as it is very clear to those it affects. It reads as follows:—

WHEREAS Ministers of State and other persons in power are often importuned for places and preferments which are not in their disposal, and whereas many Gentlemen waste their lives and fortunes in a long but vain dependance on the Great; This is to give notice, that in order to preserve the suitors, on the one hand, from such disappointments, and the vexation, expense, and loss of time with which they are attended; and men in power, on the other, from being solicited on matters not in their department of business:

WHEREAS State Ministers and other people in power are often pressured for jobs and promotions that they can't actually give, and many gentlemen waste their lives and fortunes in a long but pointless hope of gaining favor with the powerful; this is to announce that, to spare the applicants, on one hand, from such letdowns, along with the frustration, cost, and wasted time that comes with them; and to protect those in power, on the other hand, from being asked for things outside their authority:

At No. 15, one pair of stairs, in the King’s-bench Walk, in the Temple, gentlemen at an easy charge may be informed what is in their patrons’ power to bestow, and what with consistency and propriety they may ask for; (either civil, ecclesiastical, or military, by land or sea, together with the business of each employment, salaries, fees, &c.) as also by what methods to apply, and obtain a speedy and definite answer.

At No. 15, one set of stairs in King’s-bench Walk in the Temple, gentlemen can find out what their patrons can offer and what they can reasonably ask for, whether it’s in civil, religious, or military roles, on land or sea, along with the details about each position, salaries, fees, etc. They can also learn the best ways to apply and get a quick and clear response.

At the same place the most early and certain intelligence may be had of the vacancies which occur in all public offices. Those who have any business to transact with the Government, may be put into the easiest and readiest way to accomplish it, and those who have places to dispose of may depend on secrecy and always hear of purchasers.

At the same location, you can get the most reliable and up-to-date information about job openings in all public offices. Those needing to deal with the Government can find the simplest and quickest ways to do so, and those offering positions can rely on confidentiality and always find buyers.

N.B.—At the same place, accompts depending in Chancery, or of any other kind, are adjusted; as likewise the business of a money scrivener transacted, in buying and selling estates, lending money upon proper securities, and proper securities to be had for money.

N.B.—At the same location, accounts related to Chancery or any other type are settled; also, the work of a money lender is handled, including buying and selling properties, lending money with appropriate guarantees, and obtaining suitable guarantees for money.

This agency, if properly conducted, must have been as convenient for patrons as for place applicants, and doubtless the “ministers of State and other persons in power” must often have been astonished to discover what power they really possessed, which discovery would never have been made had it not been for the services of the gentleman up one pair of stairs.

This agency, if run correctly, should have been just as convenient for clients as for those seeking positions, and surely the “ministers of State and other people in power” must have frequently been surprised to find out how much influence they actually had, a realization that would never have come to light if it weren't for the efforts of the man up one flight of stairs.

In January 1752, the widow Gatesfield discovered the[193] advantage likely to accrue from the quotation in an advertisement of any independent testimony, no matter how remote, and so being anxious to acquaint the public with the superiority of the silver spurs, for fighting cocks, manufactured at her establishment, she concluded her announcement in the Daily Advertiser as follows:—

In January 1752, Widow Gatesfield realized the potential benefits of including any independent testimony in an advertisement, regardless of how distant it was. Eager to inform the public about the quality of the silver spurs for fighting cocks produced at her establishment, she ended her announcement in the Daily Advertiser as follows:—

Mr Gatesfield was friend and successor to the late Mr Smith mentioned in Mr Hallam’s ingenious poem called the Cocker, p. 58.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. Mr. Gatesfield was a friend and successor to the late Mr. Smith mentioned in Mr. Hallam's clever poem called the Cocker, p. 58.

As curious artists show different skills,
The different weapons show various moods; Now bending towards a gentle nature, And now to declare their brittleness. Now on the ground, the deceitful weapons lie,
Now, scattered in the air, the broken pieces soar: Surprised, dismayed, the others stare,
And Smith is the only genius artist worthy of praise.

The following, which appears about the same time, is of a rather doubtful order. It is inserted in the General Advertiser of January 6, 1752, and seems to be an attempt to renew a friendship broken off by some frolicsome fair ones at the sacrifice of as little dignity as possible. The advertiser certainly seems to know a good deal about the missing ladies:—

The following, which was published around the same time, is somewhat questionable. It appears in the General Advertiser from January 6, 1752, and seems to be an attempt to restore a friendship that was disrupted by some playful ladies with minimal loss of dignity. The advertiser definitely seems to have quite a bit of information about the absent ladies:—

WHEREAS two young ladies of graceful figure, delicate turned limbs and noble aspect, lately absenting themselves from their admirers, are suspected maliciously to have sent an expensive Packet, containing four indecent Words in various Languages, to a gentleman near Hanover Square: This is to give notice whosoever shall induce these ladies to surrender themselves to that gentleman, shall receive a suitable reward. The ladies may depend on the gentleman’s discretion.

WHEREAS two young women with elegant figures, slender limbs, and noble appearances, who recently distanced themselves from their admirers, are thought to have secretly sent an expensive package containing four inappropriate words in different languages to a man near Hanover Square: This notice is to inform anyone who can persuade these women to return to that man will receive a fitting reward. The women can trust the man’s discretion.

The tender honour of the fine gentlemen of sixscore years ago is admirably shown by the next two public announcements, the first of which appears in the General Advertiser for January 13, 1752:—

The gentle honor of the fine gentlemen from sixty years ago is wonderfully illustrated by the next two public announcements, the first of which appears in the General Advertiser for January 13, 1752:—

[194]

[194]

DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane playhouse, a dispute was carried to a great length, between two gentlemen, but all the reparation demanded by the injured party being publicly granted, the affair had no bad consequences.

DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane theater, a disagreement escalated between two gentlemen, but since all the compensation requested by the wronged party was publicly given, the situation had no negative outcomes.

Three days after, the advertisement was repeated in the same paper with the addition of some particulars:—

Three days later, the ad was repeated in the same paper with some additional details:—

DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane playhouse, a dispute was carried to a great length between Mr V——n and a gentleman unknown; but on the stranger being made sensible of his error, and making public submission and gentleman-like reparation, it was amicably terminated.

DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane playhouse, an argument escalated between Mr V——n and an unknown gentleman; however, after the stranger realized his mistake and publicly apologized while making amends like a proper gentleman, they resolved it amicably.

Mr V——n was evidently very anxious that his friends should know he had borne himself bravely, and like a gentleman, even at the risk of bloodshed. Nowadays he would have endeavoured to get his advertisement into another portion of the paper, and “Jenkins’s” services and leaded type would doubtless have been brought into requisition.

Mr V——n was clearly very eager for his friends to know that he had conducted himself bravely and like a gentleman, even at the risk of violence. These days, he would have tried to place his ad in a different section of the paper, and "Jenkins's" services and bold type would likely have been called upon.

The General Advertiser seems to have been a medium for affairs of gallantry, for just at this period we find the annexed:—

The General Advertiser appears to have been a platform for romantic affairs, as it was at this time we discover the annexed:—

A TALL, well-fashion’d, handsome young woman, about eighteen, with a fine bloom in her countenance, a cast in one of her eyes, scarcely discernable; a well-turned nose, and dark-brown uncurled hair flowing about her neck, which seemed to be newly cut; walked last new year’s day about three o’clock in the afternoon, pretty fast through Long acre, and near the turn into Drury Lane met a young gentleman, wrapp’d up in a blue roccelo cloak, whom she look’d at very steadfastly: He believes he had formerly the pleasure of her acquaintance: If she will send a line directed to H. S. Esq. to be left at the bar of the Prince of Orange Coffeehouse, the corner of Pall Mall, intimating where she can be spoke with, she will be inform’d of something greatly to her advantage. She walked in a dark coloured undressed gown, black hat and capuchin; a low middle-aged woman plainly dressed, and a footman following close behind, seemed to attend her.

A TALL, stylish, attractive young woman, about eighteen, with a healthy glow on her face and a slight squint in one of her eyes, barely noticeable; a well-shaped nose and dark brown, straight hair that flowed around her neck, which appeared to be freshly cut; walked last New Year’s Day around three o’clock in the afternoon, briskly through Long Acre, and near the turn into Drury Lane encountered a young gentleman, wrapped in a blue cloak, whom she looked at intently: He believes he recognizes her from before. If she would send a note addressed to H. S. Esq. to be left at the bar of the Prince of Orange Coffeehouse, at the corner of Pall Mall, indicating where she can be reached, she will learn something that would greatly benefit her. She wore a dark-colored gown, a black hat, and a cape; a plainly dressed, middle-aged woman, along with a footman closely following, seemed to be attending to her.

It is to be presumed that the hair, and not the neck, is referred to as being newly cut, though at this distance of[195] date it certainly does not matter much which, except for the purpose of discovering probable fresh peculiarities among our very peculiar ancestors. That more than one cunning tradesman began about now to understand the full value of judicious puffery, is well shown by the following ingenious advertisement, in the form of a letter to the editor of the General Advertiser, of January 19, 1752, which is a good specimen of that disinterested friendship which people always have for themselves:—

It’s likely that the hair, and not the neck, is what’s being described as newly cut, though at this point in time, it really doesn’t matter which it is, except for figuring out any interesting new details about our very unique ancestors. The fact that more than one clever merchant started to recognize the full potential of clever advertising around this time is clearly illustrated by the following smart ad, presented as a letter to the editor of the General Advertiser, dated January 19, 1752, which is a great example of the self-serving friendship people often have for themselves:—

Sir,

Sir,

Your inserting this in your paper will be of great service to the public, and very much oblige,

Your inclusion of this in your paper will greatly benefit the public and be much appreciated,

Your humble servant, E. G.

Your humble servant, E. G.

That Mr Parsons, staymaker at the Golden Acorn, James Street, Covent Garden, makes stays for those that are crooked, in a perfect easy pleasant manner: so that the wearer is as easy in them, though ever so crooked, as the straitest woman living, and appears so strait and easy a shape that it is not to be perceived by the most intimate acquaintances. As to misses that are crooked or inclined to be so, either by fall, sickness, etc., he always prevents their growing worse, and has often with his care and judgment, in particular methods he has in making their coats and stays, brought them intirely strait, which I can attest, if required, by several which were infants at my boarding School and are now good-shap’d women. I have often persuaded Mr Parsons to let this be published in the Papers, for the good of my sex, for what would not any gentlewoman give, who has this misfortune, either in themselves or their children, to know of a man that can make them appear strait and easy, and their children made strait or preserved from growing worse. But his answer was that he did not like it to be in the Papers; and not only that, but the Public might think he work’d only for those who have the misfortune of being crook’d. But certainly in mine, and every thinking person’s opinion, as he is so ingenious to make such vast additions to a bad shape, he must and can add some beauties to a good one by making a genteel stay. He has been in business for himself to my knowledge 26 years; consequently has, and does work, for genteel shapes as well as bad. I have several fine-shaped misses in my School that he works for, whose parents always give me thanks for recommending him, and are pleased to say that he makes the genteelest stays, robes, or coats they ever saw; and I doubt not, but every one that employs him will say the same.

That Mr. Parsons, who makes corsets at the Golden Acorn on James Street in Covent Garden, creates corsets for people with crooked postures in a really comfortable and pleasant way. The wearer feels as comfortable in them, no matter how crooked they are, as the straightest woman, and appears so straight and well-shaped that even their closest friends wouldn’t notice. For young ladies who are crooked or tend to be due to falls, illnesses, etc., he always prevents their condition from worsening and has often used his care and skill, particularly in how he constructs their garments, to bring them completely straight, which I can confirm if needed, as I've seen several of my former boarding school students, who were infants at the time, now turned into well-shaped women. I’ve often urged Mr. Parsons to let this be published in the newspapers for the benefit of women, because what wouldn’t any woman pay, who has this misfortune either for herself or her children, to know about a man who can help them appear straight and comfortable, and help their children become straight or avoid getting worse. But he replied that he didn't want it in the papers; he also feared that the public might think he only worked for those who were unfortunate enough to be crooked. However, in my view and that of any thoughtful person, since he is so skilled at enhancing a poor shape, he can surely add some beauty to a good one by making a stylish corset. I know he has been in business for himself for 26 years, so he works for both elegant shapes as well as less fortunate ones. I have several well-shaped young ladies at my school who he makes corsets for, and their parents always thank me for recommending him, pleased to say he makes the most stylish corsets, gowns, or coats they’ve ever seen; and I’m sure everyone who hires him would agree.

Sir, as the publishing this in the Papers (which I acknowledge was[196] first without your consent), has been of such universal service, therefore I desire you’ll permit the continuance of it, for I sincerely do it for the good of my sex, knowing whoever applies to you will receive great benefit thereby.

Sir, since publishing this in the papers (which I admit was[196] first done without your permission), has been so beneficial to everyone, I ask that you allow it to continue. I truly do this for the good of my gender, knowing that anyone who reaches out to you will gain a lot from it.

Elizabeth Gardiner.

Liz Gardiner.

Mrs Gardiner seems to have known just as much about Mr Parsons as Mr Parsons knew about himself, or at all events as much as he cared to let other people know. Very different is the next selection, which goes to show that however unfashionable a thing love at first sight may be now, it had some claims to consideration in 1752, from the Daily Advertiser of March 30, in which year, this is taken:—

Mrs. Gardiner seemed to know just as much about Mr. Parsons as Mr. Parsons knew about himself, or at least as much as he wanted others to know. The next selection is very different and shows that, no matter how out of style the idea of love at first sight may be today, it had some merit in 1752, from the Daily Advertiser of March 30, from which this is taken:—

IF the young gentleman who came into the Oratorio last Wednesday and by irresistible address gained a place for the lady he attended is yet at liberty, Sylvia may still be happy. But, alas! her mind is racked when she reflects on all the tender anxiety he discovered (or she fears she saw) in all his care of her that evening. How much, how deep was all his attention engaged by that too lovely, too happy fair! At all events an interview is earnestly sought, even if it be to talk to me of eternally lasting sorrow. Notice how to direct to him shall not want gratitude. He may remember a circumstance of a lady’s mentioning as he passed the sentimental look and sweetness of his eye.

IF the young man who came into the Oratorio last Wednesday and charmfully secured a spot for the lady he was with is still available, Sylvia might still find happiness. But, sadly! her mind is tortured as she thinks about all the caring concern he showed (or she fears she saw) in all his attention to her that evening. How deeply engaged was all his focus on that too beautiful, too joyful girl! In any case, a meeting is urgently requested, even if it’s just to talk to me about lasting sorrow. It’s clear that giving direction to him will be met with gratitude. He might remember a moment when a lady commented on the sentimental look and sweetness in his eyes as he walked by.

There is just a suspicion of humbug about this, unless, indeed, it emanated from an amorous dame of the Lady Bellaston school, for no young lady of even those days would have penned such an effusion. Of quite a different kind is the following, and yet there is a covert satire upon the doings of the day in it, which suggests a relationship. It is not impossible that both this, which is from the Daily Advertiser of October 27, 1752, and that which precedes it, emanate from the same source:—

There’s a hint of insincerity about this, unless it came from a romantic woman of the Lady Bellaston type, because no young woman, even back then, would have written such a piece. The following is quite different, yet it carries a subtle critique of contemporary events, hinting at a connection. It’s possible that both this excerpt from the Daily Advertiser from October 27, 1752, and the one before it come from the same

An Address to the Gentlemen.

An Address to the Gentlemen.

GENTLEMEN,—It is well known that many of you spare neither pains nor cost when in pursuit of a Woman you have a mind to ruin, or when attached to one already undone. But I don’t remember to have heard of any considerable benevolence conferred by any of you upon a virtuous Woman: I therefore take this method to let you know, that if there should be any among you who have a desire to assist (with[197] a considerable present) an agreeable Woman, for no other reason than because she wants it, such Person or Persons (if such there be), may by giving their Address in this Paper, be informed of an occasion to exercise their disinterested Generosity.

GGentlemen,—It’s well known that many of you spare no effort or expense when trying to pursue a woman you want to ruin, or when you’re already involved with one who’s been undone. However, I don’t recall hearing of any significant kindness shown by any of you towards a virtuous woman. Therefore, I’m taking this opportunity to let you know that if any of you wish to support (with a [197] generous gift) a lovely woman, simply because she needs it, that person or persons (if there are any) can reply to this paper to find out about a chance to show their selfless generosity.

There seems to have been no hurry on the part of the gentlemen to respond to this appeal, which might have stirred the heart of a knight-errant, but which had no effect on the bloods and fribbles of the middle of last century. In this year 1752, as previously noticed, the Act was passed forbidding a notification of “no questions asked” in advertising lost or stolen property.[33] The Edinburgh Courant of October 28, 1758, supplies us with our next example, and also shows that the course of true love was as uneven then as now:—

There didn't seem to be any rush on the part of the gentlemen to respond to this appeal, which could have inspired the heart of a heroic knight but had no impact on the superficial individuals of the mid-18th century. In 1752, as mentioned earlier, the Act was passed prohibiting a notification of “no questions asked” in ads for lost or stolen property.[33] The Edinburgh Courant from October 28, 1758, gives us our next example and also shows that the path of true love was just as bumpy back then as now:—

Glasgow, Octob. 23, 1758.

Glasgow, Oct 23, 1758.

WE Robert M‘Nair and Jean Holmes having taken into consideration the way and manner our daughter Jean acted in her Marriage, that she took none of our advice, nor advised us before she married, for which reason we discharged her from our Family, for more than Twelve Months; and being afraid that some or other of our Family may also presume to marry without duly advising us thereof, We, taking the affair into our serious consideration, hereby discharge all and every one of our Children from offering to marry without our special advice and consent first had and obtained; and if any of our Children should propose or presume to offer Marriage to any, without as aforesaid our advice and consent, they in that case shall be banished from our Family Twelve Months, and if they should go so far as to marry without our advice and consent, in that case they are to be banished from the Family Seven Years; but whoever advises us of their intention to marry and obtains our consent, shall not only remain Children of the Family, but also shall have a due proportion of our Goods, Gear, and Estate, as we shall think convenient, and as the bargain requires; and further if any[198] one of our Children shall marry clandestinely, they, by so doing, shall lose all claim or title to our Effects, Goods, Gear or Estate; and we intimate this to all concerned, that none may pretend ignorance.

WE Robert M‘Nair and Jean Holmes have considered how our daughter Jean conducted herself in her marriage, as she took none of our advice and did not inform us before getting married. For this reason, we removed her from our family for more than twelve months. Worried that any of our other children might also marry without properly consulting us, we have seriously thought about this matter. Therefore, we hereby declare that all our children are prohibited from seeking to marry without our explicit advice and consent obtained first. If any of our children should propose or presume to get married without our aforementioned advice and consent, they will be banned from our family for twelve months. If they go as far as to marry without our advice and consent, they will be banned from the family for seven years. However, anyone who informs us of their intention to marry and gets our consent will not only remain a part of the family, but will also receive a fair share of our belongings, goods, and estate, as we deem appropriate and as the agreement requires. Furthermore, if any of our children marry secretly, they will forfeit any claim or title to our assets, goods, belongings, or estate. We make this known to all involved so that no one can claim ignorance.

There is something original about discharging a member of one’s family for twelve months or seven years, and then taking her back again; and so there is in the idea that all members of this same house are not only over-anxious to marry, but that they are unduly sought after. The family must have been, indeed, a large one to necessitate notification through the public press; and though our ignorance may be lamentable, we must confess to not knowing why Mrs M‘Nair declined to call herself by her husband’s name. We presume—nay, we hope—that Robert and Jean did not upon principle object to wedlock, though the advertisement, coupled with the fact of the dissimilarity of names, might lead any one to suppose so. Marriage was much thought of in 1758, so far as advertisers are concerned, as the following, culled from many of the same kind, which now began to appear in the Daily Advertiser, will show:—

There’s something unique about kicking a family member out for twelve months or seven years and then welcoming her back again; likewise, there’s something intriguing about the notion that all members of this household not only want to get married but are also sought after excessively. The family must have been quite large to need an announcement in the public press; and while our lack of knowledge may be unfortunate, we admit we don’t understand why Mrs. M‘Nair chose not to use her husband’s last name. We assume—actually, we hope—that Robert and Jean didn’t fundamentally oppose marriage, although the advertisement, combined with the different last names, might lead anyone to think otherwise. Marriage was a big topic in 1758, at least for those placing ads, as the following example, taken from many similar ones that began appearing in the Daily Advertiser, will show:—

A PERSON of character, candour and honour, who has an entire knowledge of the World, and has great Intimacy with both Sexes among the Nobility, Gentry and Persons of Credit and Reputation; and as it often happens, that many deserving Persons of both Sexes are deprived of the opportunity of entering into the state of Matrimony, by being unacquainted with the merit of each other, therefore upon directing a letter to A. Z. of any one’s intention of entering into the above State, to the advantage of each, to be left at Mr Perry’s, Miller’s Court, Aldermanbury, Secrecy and Honour will be observed in bringing to a Conclusion such their Intention. Any Person who shall send a Letter, is desired to order the bearer to put it into the Letter-box for fear it may be mislaid: and it is desired that none but those who are sincere would make any application on the above subject.

A PERSON of character, honesty, and respect, who has a full understanding of the world, and has close relationships with both men and women among the nobility, gentry, and reputable individuals; and since it often happens that many deserving individuals from both genders miss the chance to marry because they don't know about each other's worth, a letter can be directed to A. Z. regarding anyone's intention to enter into marriage for their mutual benefit, to be left at Mr. Perry’s, Miller’s Court, Aldermanbury. Confidentiality and integrity will be maintained in reaching a conclusion about such intentions. Anyone who sends a letter is asked to instruct the messenger to drop it into the letterbox to avoid misplacement: and it is requested that only those who are genuine make any inquiries on this topic.

That people were, however, quite capable of conducting their own little amours whenever a chance offered, the following, which is another of the love-at-first-sight effusions,[199] and a gem in its way, will show. It is from the London Chronicle of August 5, 1758:—

That people were definitely able to have their own little romances whenever the opportunity arose, the following, which is another example of love at first sight,[199] and a gem in its own right, will demonstrate. It is from the London Chronicle of August 5, 1758:—

A Young Lady who was at Vauxhall on Thursday night last, in company with two Gentlemen, could not but observe a young Gentleman in blue and a gold-laced hat, who, being near her by the Orchestra during the performance, especially the last song, gazed upon her with the utmost attention. He earnestly hopes (if unmarried) she will favour him with a line directed to A. D. at the bar of the Temple Exchange Coffee-house, Temple-bar, to inform him whether Fortune, Family, and Character, may not entitle him, upon a further knowledge, to hope an interest in her Heart. He begs she will pardon the method he has taken to let her know the situation of his Mind, as, being a Stranger, he despaired of doing it any other way, or even of seeing her more. As his views are founded upon the most honourable Principles, he presumes to hope the occasion will justify it, if she generously breaks through this trifling formality of the Sex, rather than, by a cruel Silence, render unhappy one, who must ever expect to continue so, if debarred from a nearer acquaintance with her, in whose power alone it is to complete his Felicity.

A Young Woman who was at Vauxhall last Thursday night with two gentlemen couldn't help but notice a young gentleman in a blue coat and a gold-laced hat, who, being close to her by the orchestra during the performance, especially during the last song, watched her with intense interest. He sincerely hopes (if she’s not already taken) that she will send him a note addressed to A. D. at the bar of the Temple Exchange Coffee-house, Temple-bar, to let him know if his fortune, background, and character might give him a chance, upon getting to know her better, to hope for a place in her heart. He asks for her understanding of the way he's chosen to express his feelings, as being a stranger left him feeling that he had no other option or even a chance to see her again. Since his intentions are based on the most honorable principles, he hopes she will consider this occasion worthy of breaking through the trivial barriers typically imposed by society, rather than responding with a cruel silence that would leave him unhappy, as he would always expect to remain so if kept from having a closer relationship with her, who alone has the power to bring him happiness.

This goes to prove what we have before remarked, that the concocters of these advertisements were in the habit of falling in love with the women whom they saw with other men; and so it is only natural to suppose, that however honourable they may have protested themselves in print, they were in reality mean, cowardly, and contemptible. The well-known Kitty Fisher finds the utility of advertising as a means of clearing her character, and in the Public Advertiser of March 30, 1759, puts forth the following petition, which had little effect upon her persecutors, as the little scribblers continued, as little scribblers will even nowadays, and “scurvy malevolence” also held sway over her destinies for a considerable period:—

This proves what we've mentioned before, that the creators of these ads often fell for the women they saw with other men. So, it’s only natural to believe that, despite any claims they made in print about being honorable, they were actually petty, cowardly, and despicable. The famous Kitty Fisher realizes that advertising can help clean up her reputation, and in the Public Advertiser from March 30, 1759, she put out the following petition, which did little to stop her tormentors, as small-time writers continued their attacks, just like they still do today, and “scurvy malevolence” also affected her life for quite a while:—

TO err is a blemish entailed upon Mortality, and Indiscretions seldom or ever escape from Censure; the more heavy as the Character is more remarkable; and doubled, nay trebled, by the World, if the progress of that Character is marked by Success; then Malice shoots[200] against it all her stings, the snakes of Envy are let loose; to the human and generous Heart then must the injured appeal, and certain relief will be found in impartial Honour. Miss Fisher is forced to sue to that jurisdiction to protect her from the baseness of little Scribblers and scurvy Malevolence; she has been abused in public Papers, exposed in Printshops, and to wind up the whole, some Wretches, mean, ignorant and venal, would impose upon the Public by daring to pretend to publish her Memoirs. She hopes to prevent the success of their endeavours by thus publicly declaring that nothing of that sort has the slightest foundation in Truth. C. Fisher.

TO Error is a flaw that comes with being human, and mistakes rarely go uncriticized; the harsher the judgment, the more prominent the person's character is. If that character has been marked by success, then envy unleashes its fury, and people try to tear it down. In such cases, the harmed must turn to the fair-minded for support, and true relief can be found in their honor. Miss Fisher is forced to seek that support to shield herself from the nastiness of petty writers and malicious gossip. She has been slandered in public newspapers and exposed in print shops, and to top it off, some lowly, ignorant, and corrupt individuals are trying to mislead the public by claiming to publish her memoirs. She hopes to thwart their plans by publicly stating that none of it is based on any truth. C. Fisher.

We have already referred to an article written by Dr Johnson, in an Idler of 1759, on the subject of advertisements. It is very amusing, and in it he says that “whatever is common is despised. Advertisements are now so numerous that they are very negligently perused, and it is therefore become necessary to gain attention by magnificence of promises, and by eloquence sometimes sublime and sometimes pathetic.” He then passes in review some of the most inflated puffs of that period, and continues: “Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement. I remember a washball that had a quality truly wonderful—it gave an exquisite edge to the razor. And there are now to be sold, for ready money only, some duvets for bed-coverings, of down, beyond comparison superior to what is called ottar down, and indeed such, that its many excellences cannot be here set forth. With one excellence we are made acquainted—it is warmer than four or five blankets, and lighter than one. There are some, however, that know the prejudice of mankind in favour of modest sincerity. The vendor of the beautifying fluid sells a lotion that repels pimples, washes away freckles, smooths the skin, and plumps the flesh; and yet, with a generous abhorrence of ostentation, confesses that it will not restore the bloom of fifteen to a lady of fifty. The true pathos of advertisements must have sunk deep into the heart of every man that remembers the zeal shown by the seller of the anodyne necklace, for the ease and safety of poor toothing infants,[201] and the affection with which he warned every mother, that she would never forgive herself if her infant should perish without a necklace. I cannot but remark to the celebrated author, who gave, in his notifications of the camel and dromedary, so many specimens of the genuine sublime, that there is now arrived another subject yet more worthy of his pen—A famous Mohawk Indian warrior, who took Dieskaw, the French general, prisoner, dressed in the same manner with the native Indians when they go to war, with his face and body painted, with his scalping knife, tom-axe, and all other implements of war! A sight worthy the curiosity of every true Briton! This is a very powerful description: but a critic of great refinement would say that it conveys rather horror than terror. An Indian, dressed as he goes to war, may bring company together; but if he carries the scalping knife and tom-axe, there are many true Britons that will never be persuaded to see him but through a grate. It has been remarked by the severer judges, that the salutary sorrow of tragic scenes is too soon effaced by the merriment of the epilogue: the same inconvenience arises from the improper disposition of advertisements. The noblest objects may be so associated as to be made ridiculous. The camel and dromedary themselves might have lost much of their dignity between the true flower of mustard and the original Daffy’s Elixir; and I could not but feel some indignation when I found this illustrious Indian warrior immediately succeeded by a fresh parcel of Dublin butter. The trade of advertising is now so near to perfection, that it is not easy to propose any improvement. But as every art ought to be exercised in due subordination to the public good, I cannot but propose it as a moral question to these masters of the public ear, Whether they do not sometimes play too wantonly with our passions? as when the registrar of lottery tickets invites us to his shop by an account of the prizes which he sold last year; and whether the advertising controversists do not indulge[202] asperity of language without any adequate provocation? as in the dispute about strops for razors, now happily subsided, and in the altercation which at present subsists concerning Eau de Luce. In an advertisement it is allowed to every man to speak well of himself, but I know not why he should assume the privilege of censuring his neighbour. He may proclaim his own virtue or skill, but ought not to exclude others from the same pretensions. Every man that advertises his own excellence should write with some consciousness of a character which dares to call the attention of the public. He should remember that his name is to stand in the same paper with those of the King of Prussia and the Emperor of Germany, and endeavour to make himself worthy of such association. Some regard is likewise to be paid to posterity. There are men of diligence and curiosity who treasure up the papers of the day merely because others neglect them, and in time they will be scarce. When these collections shall be read in another century, how will numberless contradictions be reconciled; and how shall fame be possibly distributed among the tailors and bodice-makers of the present age?” Judging by the advertisements which continued, the worthy advertisers of 1759 had a very poor opinion of men yet to come, and might have asked, had they thought of it, with the Irish member, “What’s posterity ever done for us?”—a query which would have puzzled even Dr Johnson.

We’ve already mentioned an article written by Dr. Johnson in an Idler from 1759 about advertisements. It’s quite entertaining, and he says that “whatever is common is despised. Advertisements are now so numerous that they are often skimmed, and it’s necessary to grab attention with grand promises and language that can be either high-flown or very emotional.” He then reviews some of the most exaggerated claims from that time and adds: “Promise, big promise, is the essence of an advertisement. I recall a face wash that had an amazing quality—it gave a perfect edge to the razor. And there are now for sale, for cash only, some down comforters for bedding, far superior to what is called ottar down, and truly such that its many virtues can't all be detailed here. One benefit we do know is—it’s warmer than four or five blankets and lighter than just one. Some, however, understand the public’s preference for modest honesty. The seller of the beauty potion markets a lotion that fights pimples, removes freckles, smooths the skin, and plumps the flesh; yet, with a commendable disdain for bragging, admits it won’t bring back the bloom of youth to a fifty-year-old woman. The real emotion in advertisements must have struck deep into the hearts of every man who remembers the enthusiasm shown by the seller of the soothing necklace, promising ease and safety for poor teething infants, and the sincere concern with which he warned every mother that she would never forgive herself if her baby suffered without a necklace. I must point out to the famous author, who provided so many examples of the true sublime in his descriptions of camels and dromedaries, that there is now a subject even more deserving of his attention—a renowned Mohawk Indian warrior who captured Dieskaw, the French general, dressed just like the native warriors when going into battle, with his face and body painted, holding his scalping knife, tomahawk, and all his fighting gear! A sight every true Briton should be curious about! This is a very striking image; however, a refined critic might argue that it evokes more horror than fear. An Indian dressed for war might attract a crowd; but if he carries the scalping knife and tomahawk, many true Britons will insist on seeing him only from behind a grate. More stringent judges have noted that the beneficial sadness of tragic scenes fades too quickly thanks to the lightheartedness of the epilogue; the same issue appears with the misplaced nature of advertisements. The greatest subjects can be linked in a way that turns them ridiculous. The camel and dromedary themselves might lose a lot of their dignity alongside a genuine mustard flower and original Daffy’s Elixir; and I couldn't help but feel some irritation when I saw this illustrious Indian warrior immediately followed by a new batch of Dublin butter. The advertising trade is now so close to perfection that suggesting improvements is tough. But since every art should be practiced in the interest of the public good, I can’t help but raise a moral question for these masters of the public’s attention: don’t they sometimes toy carelessly with our emotions? For instance, when the lottery ticket seller invites us to his shop by bragging about the prizes he sold last year; and whether the advertising debaters indulge in harsh language without proper provocation? Like in the now-resolved disagreement about razor strops, and the ongoing dispute over Eau de Luce. In an advertisement, it’s fine for a person to promote themselves, but I don’t see why they should take the liberty of criticizing their neighbor. They can announce their own virtues or skills but shouldn’t exclude others from having the same claims. Everyone advertising their own excellence should write with some awareness of the reputation that dares to catch the public’s eye. They should remember their name will appear alongside those of the King of Prussia and the Emperor of Germany, and strive to make themselves worthy of such company. Consideration should also be given to the future. There are diligent and curious people who keep the day’s papers just because others overlook them, and eventually, they will become rare. When these compilations are read in another century, how will countless contradictions be resolved? And how will fame be fairly distributed among the tailors and dressmakers of today?” Judging by the advertisements that continued, the esteemed advertisers of 1759 seemed to have a low opinion of future generations, and might have asked, if they thought of it, along with the Irish member, “What’s posterity ever done for us?”—a question that would have baffled even Dr. Johnson.

The short-sleeved dresses of 1760 must have called for all kinds of apparatus for whitening and beautifying the arms, and among many a kindred and attractive advertisement of the time we take the following from the Chronicle of April 19-21:—

The short-sleeved dresses of 1760 must have required all sorts of tools for whitening and beautifying the arms, and among many similar and appealing ads of the time, we take the following from the Chronicle of April 19-21:—

Gloves for Ladies.

Women’s Gloves.

THE true prepared French Chicken and Dog-skin Gloves, for clearing and whitening the hands and arms, perfumed and plain. As some ladies have had but small confidence in these Gloves, till they have been prevailed upon to wear one Glove for eight or ten Nights,[203] when they have evidently seen to their agreeable satisfaction that hand and arm brought to such a superior degree of whiteness over the other, as though they did not belong to the same Person.

THE genuine French Chicken and Dog-skin Gloves, designed for clearing and whitening hands and arms, both scented and unscented. Some women have been hesitant to trust these Gloves until they've been encouraged to wear one for eight or ten nights,[203] after which they've clearly noticed, with great satisfaction, that the hand and arm treated with the Glove look significantly whiter than the other, as if they belonged to different people.

The above Gloves are prepared and sold only by Warren & Co., Perfumers, at the Golden Fleece, in Marybone Street, Golden Square, at 5s. a pair, who import, make and sell, all sorts of perfumery Goods, in the utmost perfection. The Violet-Cream Pomatum, and celebrated quintessence of Lavender, by no other person.

The gloves mentioned above are available exclusively from Warren & Co., Perfumers, at the Golden Fleece on Marybone Street in Golden Square, priced at 5 shillings a pair. They import, create, and sell all kinds of perfume products with the highest quality. You can only find the Violet-Cream Pomatum and the famous lavender quintessence from them.

Ladies sending their servants are humbly desired to send a Glove of the size.

Ladies who are sending their servants are kindly requested to send a glove of the appropriate size.

N.B.—Just landed, a fine parcel of the famous India Pearl.

N.B.—Just arrived, a great shipment of the famous India Pearl.

*** The Queen’s Royal Marble, at 20s., and Chinese Imperial Wash ball, at 5s., that are so well known to the Nobility, &c. Ladies’ Masks and Tippets.

*** The Queen’s Royal Marble, priced at 20 shillings, and the Chinese Imperial Wash ball, at 5 shillings, are well-known among the nobility, etc. Ladies’ masks and tippets.

All this effort at decoration and beautifying is very wrong, but we are stopped in our desire to “improve the occasion” by the recollection that no age has been more deep in the mysteries of cosmetic, enamel, pearl powder, and paint than our own, in which quacks abound, and old ladies have been known to submit themselves to the operation of being made beautiful, not for all time, but for ever. A little further on, in the Evening Post, we come upon an ambitious author who has attempted to regenerate the drama, and who advertises his work. Shakespeare seems always to have been considered capable of improvement by somebody, but as the mania for touching the immortal bard up, and making him respectable and fit for the understandings of small tradesmen, still goes on, and fortunes are made at it, we will give the following without comment, lest some original author of the present day might think we were obliquely alluding to him:—

All this effort to decorate and beautify is really misguided, but we're held back in our desire to “enhance the occasion” by the reminder that no time has been more obsessed with cosmetics, makeup, skin care, and paint than ours, where frauds are everywhere, and older women have been known to choose to undergo beauty treatments, not for a lifetime, but for a moment. A little further on, in the Evening Post, we come across an ambitious writer who’s tried to revive the drama and is promoting his work. Shakespeare always seems to be viewed as someone who can be improved by someone, but since the obsession with editing the timeless bard, making him respectable and suitable for the understanding of ordinary tradespeople, continues, and fortunes are made from it, we will present the following without comment, in case some contemporary author might think we were indirectly referring to him:—

In the press and shortly will be published

In the media and will be published soon

THE Students, a Comedy, altered from Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour Lost, and adapted to the stage, with an original Prologue and Epilogue.

THE Students, a Comedy, changed from Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour Lost, and adjusted for the stage, with a new Prologue and Epilogue.

Printed for Thomas Hope, opposite the north gate of the Royal Exchange, Threadneedle St.

Printed for Thomas Hope, across from the north gate of the Royal Exchange, Threadneedle St.

Deserters are plentiful about this period, our soldiers,[204] however brave they may have been when put to it, having an evident objection to the pomp and circumstance of war. That was, perhaps, because their share of the latter was unduly large as compared with their participation in the former. The following is from Lloyd’s Evening Post of April 26-28, and is a fair specimen of the remainder:—

Deserters are common right now; our soldiers, no matter how brave they might have been in battle, clearly dislike the showiness and drama of war. This could be because their share of the latter is much larger than their actual involvement in the former. The following is from Lloyd’s Evening Post of April 26-28, and is a good example of the rest:—

Deserted

Abandoned

FROM the 16th Regiment of Dragoons, Captain Walmesly’s troop,

FROM the 16th Regiment of Dragoons, Captain Walmesly’s troop,

WILLIAM BEVEN,

WILLIAM BEVEN,

Aged 16 years, about five feet five inches high, stoops a good deal as he walks, and but very indifferently made; absented himself from his Quarters last Saturday night, the 17th instant; he says he was born in the parish of the Hays, in the County of Brecknockshire, and by trade a labourer; he went away with a light horse man’s cap, a coarse red frock faced with black, a striped flannel waistcoat, and a pair of leather breeches.

At 16 years old, about five feet five inches tall, he slouches quite a bit as he walks and isn’t very well built; he left his quarters last Saturday night, the 17th; he claims he was born in the parish of the Hays, in Brecknockshire, and works as a laborer; he left wearing a light cavalry cap, a rough red coat trimmed with black, a striped flannel vest, and a pair of leather trousers.

Whoever apprehends and secures the above Deserter, so as he may be committed to any of His Majesty’s gaols, shall, by applying to George Ross, Esq., Agent to the regiment, in Conduit Street, London, receive twenty Shillings, over and above the reward given by Act of Parliament.

Whoever catches and turns in the above Deserter, so they can be sent to any of His Majesty’s jails, should contact George Ross, Esq., the agent for the regiment, on Conduit Street, London, to receive twenty shillings, in addition to the reward established by law.

Those who are in the habit of expressing themselves as to the decadence of the British soldier, and of the British human being generally, will do well to ponder over this advertisement, and judge from it the difference between the defenders of hearths and homes of then and now. Yet, with all his want of size and possession of awkwardness, this same youth, who would not nowadays be admitted into the worst regiment of militia fallbacks in existence, is deemed worthy of an extra reward. So much for “our army” in the middle of the eighteenth century.

Those who often talk about the decline of the British soldier and the British people in general should take a moment to think about this advertisement and consider how the defenders of homes and families have changed from then to now. Even with his small stature and clumsiness, this very young man, who wouldn't even be accepted into the lowest militia unit today, is seen as deserving of a special acknowledgment. This is a reflection of “our army” in the mid-eighteenth century.


[33] This Act seems to have been forgotten, or capable of evasion, for a statute of the 7 & 8 Geo. IV., c. 29, s. 59, imposes a penalty on any person who shall advertise, or print, or publish an advertisement of a reward for the return of property stolen or lost, with words purporting that no questions shall be asked, or promising to pawnbrokers or others the return of money which may have been lent upon objects feloniously acquired.

[33] This law appears to have been overlooked or can be avoided because a statute from the 7 & 8 Geo. IV., c. 29, s. 59, imposes a penalty on anyone who advertises, prints, or publishes a reward for the return of stolen or lost property with language suggesting that no questions will be asked, or who promises pawnbrokers or others the return of money that may have been lent on objects that were stolen.


[205]

[205]

CHAPTER X.
Education completed.

So far, as has been shown, advertisements have had to struggle against foreign war, internecine disorder, the poverty of the State, and many other drawbacks; but by the commencement of the seventh decade of the eighteenth century, these difficulties have all in turn been surmounted, and the most modern means of obtaining publicity, despite prejudice, and, still worse, taxation, is fixed firmly in the land, and doing much towards the management of its affairs. The country is at peace with the world, so far as Europe is concerned; and even the Canadian campaign is as good as over. Clive has made himself felt and the name of England feared throughout the length and breadth of India, and merchants are beginning to reap the advantages of conquest. George III. has ascended the throne, has been married and crowned, and looks forward to a long and prosperous reign. In fact, everything seems bright and smiling, for never, through many a long year, was the country so free from troubles and anxieties, or with so little to direct her attention from those two great essentials to English existence—profit and pleasure. And so, as marked in the preceding chapter, advertisements of all kinds progressed as the century became older; and when the ordinary style failed, dodges of all kinds were adopted to give a factitious importance to announcements, no matter whether of quacks, of publishers, or of the infinite variety of other trades and professions which just now began to be bitten by the fast-growing[206] mania. Some of the sly puffs were of a most specious order, and attention is called to one of them by the indignation it evoked in the Monthly Review (vol. xxvii. 1762). The object of the puff paragraph had been an insipid panegyric on Lord Halifax, called “The Minister of State,” which sacrificed on the altar of Halifax the characters of all preceding premiers, from Burleigh to Bute, and the attempt to force its sale evoked the wrath of the Review, which commences as follows:—“As the practice of puffing is now arrived at the utmost height of assurance, it will not be improper for the Reviewers occasionally to mark some of the grosser instances that may occur of this kind.” Thereupon it notices the “lying paragraph,” to which we have already referred, the words within brackets being the comments of the Reviewer:

So far, as previously shown, advertisements have had to deal with foreign wars, internal conflicts, the State's poverty, and many other issues. However, by the start of the 1770s, these challenges were all overcome, and modern methods of gaining publicity, despite prejudice and even worse, taxation, were firmly established in the country and significantly contributed to its management. The nation is at peace with the world, at least in terms of Europe; and the Canadian campaign is practically finished. Clive’s influence is felt, and the name of England is respected across India, with merchants beginning to enjoy the benefits of conquest. George III has taken the throne, has married and been crowned, and anticipates a long and successful reign. In fact, everything appears bright and hopeful, as the country has rarely been so free from troubles and distractions, focusing on its two main priorities—profit and pleasure. Thus, as noted in the previous chapter, advertisements of all types advanced as the century progressed. When the usual style fell short, various tricks were used to give misleading importance to announcements, whether from quacks, publishers, or the numerous other trades and professions that were just starting to be caught up in the rapidly spreading craze. Some of these deceptive promotions were particularly insidious, one of which sparked outrage in the Monthly Review (vol. xxvii. 1762). The puff piece in question was a bland tribute to Lord Halifax, titled “The Minister of State,” which undermined the reputations of all previous premiers from Burleigh to Bute. The attempt to sell this piece incited the anger of the Review, which began with: “As the practice of puffing has now reached the peak of audacity, it’s appropriate for the Reviewers to occasionally highlight some of the more blatant examples of this behavior.” It then comments on the “lying paragraph,” with the words in brackets being the Reviewer's remarks:

A noble Peer has absolutely given directions to his Solicitor to commence a Prosecution against the Author of the Poem called, The Minister of State, a Satire, as a most licentious and libellous composition.—The writer, no doubt, merits a severer censure of the Law than any of his brethren, because instead of employing those great talents for poetry and satire for which he is so deservedly celebrated [what does he not deserve for his effrontery?] in the service of Virtue and his Country, he has basely [basely enough!] prostituted them to the unworthy purpose of defaming, lampooning and abusing some of the greatest characters in this Kingdom. [All a puff to excite curiosity.] We think this literary Luminary, of the age [this illiterate farthing candle!] should pay a greater deference to the words of his predecessor Mr Pope:

A noble peer has officially instructed his solicitor to start legal action against the author of the poem titled, The Minister of State, a Satire, calling it a highly offensive and libelous work. The writer certainly deserves harsher punishment from the law than his peers, because instead of using his great talents for poetry and satire that he is justly famous for [what doesn’t he deserve for his audacity?] in the service of Virtue and his Country, he has shamefully [shamefully enough!] exploited them for the unworthy goal of defaming, mocking, and attacking some of the greatest individuals in this Kingdom. [All just a trick to gain attention.] We believe this literary star of the age [this illiterate farthing candle!] should show more respect for the words of his predecessor, Mr. Pope:

“Curs’d be the verse, how smooth soe’er it flow,” etc.

“Cursed be the verse, no matter how smooth it flows,” etc.

[We doubt, however, if any of this honest gentleman’s readers will think his verses worth a curse, whatever they may think he deserves for his impudence.]

[We doubt, however, if any of this honest gentleman’s readers will think his poems are worth anything, no matter what they believe he deserves for his boldness.]

This energetic effort on the part of the Review to prevent undue reputations being made by disguised advertisements, had little effect in checking an evil which flourishes unto this day—which will, in fact, flourish as long as a majority exist ready to believe anything they are told, and to be more than usually prompt with their credulity when what they are told is more than usually wrong. The next notification we select is from the British Chronicle of January 4-6, 1762,[207] and is of a literary character also, though, judging by the motto adopted, the work is more likely to produce melancholy than amusement:—

This energetic effort by the Review to stop fake reputations from being created by hidden advertisements had little impact on curbing a problem that still exists today. In fact, it will continue to thrive as long as there are many people willing to believe whatever they're told, and they tend to be especially quick to trust information that is particularly false. The next notice we’ve chosen is from the British Chronicle of January 4-6, 1762,[207] and it also has a literary focus, although, judging by the motto used, the work is more likely to evoke sadness than entertainment:—

This day are published, Price 1s.,

This day is published, Price 1s.,

THE Songs of Selma, attempted in English verse, from the original of Ossian, the son of Fingal. . . . . Quis talia fando Tempenet a lacrymis?. . . . Printed for R. Griffiths, opposite Somerset House in the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall, Charing Cross.

THE Songs of Selma, adapted into English verse from the original by Ossian, son of Fingal. . . . Who can speak of such things without shedding tears? . . . Published by R. Griffiths, across from Somerset House in the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall, Charing Cross.

How many books of this kind have been published, thrown aside, and forgotten, or consigned to the pastrycook and trunkmaker, since the “Songs of Selma” saw the light, is a question easier to ask than to solve. One thing is, though, certain—the number of people who will write, whether they have anything to say or not, increases every year, and in due course we may expect an ingenious Chancellor of the Exchequer to impose a tax on authors; which, after all, will hardly, so far as brilliancy is concerned, be so destructive as the window-tax, or so uncalled for as Mr Robert Lowe’s famous “ex luce lucellum” imposition. A couple of weeks later, in the same paper (January 18-20), is the following of a very different character from that which has been already selected:—

How many books like this have been published, tossed aside, and forgotten, or sent off to the pastry chef and trunk maker, since the “Songs of Selma” first came out is a question that's easier to ask than to answer. However, one thing is certain—the number of people who will write, whether they have anything meaningful to say or not, keeps growing every year, and eventually, we can expect a clever Chancellor of the Exchequer to impose a tax on authors; which, when it comes to brilliance, won't be as damaging as the window tax, or as unnecessary as Mr. Robert Lowe’s well-known “ex luce lucellum” tax. A couple of weeks later, in the same paper (January 18-20), there's the following piece, which is of a very different nature from what has already been selected:—

READING MACHINE

Reading device

IS removed from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow Hill, London; sets out from the Broad Face, Reading, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at seven o’clock in the morning, and from the George Inn, Snow Hill, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at seven o’clock in the morning; carries passengers to and from Reading at 6s. each, children in lap, and outside passengers at 3s.

IS removed from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow Hill, London; departs from the Broad Face, Reading, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at seven a.m., and from the George Inn, Snow Hill, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at seven a.m.; charges 6 shillings for passengers to and from Reading, children on laps, and outside passengers at 3 shillings.

Performed by

Performed by

Thomas Moore and
Richard Mapleton.

Thomas Moore and
Richard Mapleton.

N.B.—Takes no charge of Writings, Money, Watches, or Jewels, unless entered and paid for as such.

N.B.—Does not take responsibility for writings, money, watches, or jewelry unless they are registered and paid for as such.

This machine was evidently a nondescript, partly slow coach, partly waggon, and was extremely reasonable in its rates if it journeyed at any pace, seeing that outside passengers paid no more than present Parliamentary rates,[208] while the insides had no occasion to complain of excessive expenditure. But fancy the journey at seven o’clock on a January morning, with the knowledge that no brisk motion would keep the blood in circulation, that the roads were heavy, the weather indifferent, the society worse, the conversation, if any, very heavy, and the purse proportionally light! Such a company as Roderick Random and Strap fell in with in the waggon, must often have been seen on the outside of the Reading Machine. In the same paper of January 20-22, we find the advertisement of a pamphlet issued for the gratification of a morbid taste which has its representative nowadays—though, by the way, there is more excuse for a little excitement over murder and execution now than there was in the days when every week saw its batch of criminals led forth to take their final dance upon nothing:—

This machine was clearly an average vehicle, part slow coach and part wagon, and had very reasonable rates if it traveled at all, since outside passengers paid no more than current Parliamentary rates,[208] while those inside had no reason to complain about high expenses. But imagine the journey at seven o’clock on a January morning, knowing that no quick movement would keep the blood circulating, the roads were difficult, the weather mediocre, the company worse, the conversation, if there was any, very dull, and the wallet correspondingly light! A group like Roderick Random and Strap must have often been seen on the outside of the Reading Machine. In the same publication from January 20-22, we find an advertisement for a pamphlet released to satisfy a morbid interest that has its representative today—although, by the way, there’s more reason for a bit of excitement over murder and execution now than there was in the days when each week brought a new group of criminals to take their final bow on nothing

This day was published, price 1s.,

This day was published, priced at 1s.,

SOME authentic particulars of the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of Ben ——, who was executed in Ireland, on tuesday the 25th day of December, for the Murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, representative in the late and present Parliament for the county of Donegal. With a full account of his pretended Connexion with the young Lady; of the measures he took to seize her person previous to the Murder; the circumstances of that fact; the manner of his being apprehended; and his conduct and behaviour from that time till his Death. Compiled from papers communicated by a gentleman in Ireland, to a person of distinction of that Kingdom now residing here.

SOME genuine details about the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of Ben ——, who was executed in Ireland on Tuesday, December 25th, for the murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, a representative in both the past and current Parliament for County Donegal. This includes a complete account of his alleged connection with the young lady; the steps he took to abduct her before the murder; the circumstances of that event; how he was caught; and his behavior from that point until his execution. Compiled from documents provided by a gentleman in Ireland to a distinguished individual from that region currently living here.

Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

John Macnaghton, Esq., was a real gentleman criminal, and though food for the halter was plenty in 1762 and thereabouts, gentlemen were “tucked up” still more rarely than within ordinary recollections; for stern as was the law a hundred years ago, it had very merciful consideration for persons of quality, and the hanging of a landed proprietor for a mere paltry murder was a very noticeable event. In the London Gazette of February 23-27, we find a record[209] of the coronation of their illustrious and sacred Majesties, George and Charlotte, which runs thus:—

John Macnaghton, Esq., was a true gentleman criminal, and even though there was plenty of reason to hang people in 1762 and around that time, gentlemen were “tucked up” much less often than usual; because, despite how strict the law was a hundred years ago, it showed a lot of mercy towards people of high status, and the execution of a landowner for a simple murder was a significant event. In the London Gazette from February 23-27, there’s a record[209] of the coronation of their esteemed and sacred Majesties, George and Charlotte, which states as follows:—

Albemarle St., Feby. 26, 1762.

Albemarle St., Feb 26, 1762.

THE Gold Medals intended for the Peers and Peeresses who in their robes attended at the Coronation of their Majesties (according to a list obtained from the proper officers) will be delivered at the Earl of Powis’s house in Albemarle Street, on Wednesday and Thursday next, from ten to twelve o’clock each day.

THE Gold Medals meant for the Lords and Ladies who wore their robes at the Coronation of Their Majesties (based on a list provided by the appropriate officials) will be handed out at the Earl of Powis’s residence on Albemarle Street, next Wednesday and Thursday, from ten to twelve o’clock each day.

It is therefore desired that the Peers and Peeresses, as above mentioned, will send for their Medals; and that the persons who shall be sent for them shall bring Cards, signed by such Peers or Peeresses, as the Medals shall be required for, and sealed with their Arms.

It is therefore requested that the Peers and Peeresses mentioned above will collect their Medals; and that the individuals sent to fetch them will bring Cards, signed by the Peers or Peeresses for whom the Medals are needed, and sealed with their Coat of Arms.

In the same paper we come upon the advertisement of a book which is even now read with interest, though the price at which a modern issue of it is offered is ludicrously small compared with that of the original edition:—

In the same paper, we find an advertisement for a book that is still read with interest today, even though the price for a modern edition is laughably small compared to the original edition:—

THIS day is published, in small quarto, Price Thirty Shillings, Printed at Strawberry Hill, Anecdotes of Painting in England, with incidental Notes on other Arts. Collected by the late Mr George Vertue, and now first digested and published from his original Manuscripts. By Mr Horace Walpole. Vol. I. and II. With above forty Copper plates, four of which are taken from antient Paintings; the rest, heads of Artists, engraved by Grignion, Muller, Chambers, and Bannerman.

THIS day, we're releasing a small quarto edition priced at thirty shillings. Printed at Strawberry Hill, it features "Anecdotes of Painting in England," along with some additional notes on various arts. Compiled by the late Mr. George Vertue, this is the first time it has been organized and published from his original manuscripts, by Mr. Horace Walpole. This includes Volume I and II, with more than forty copper plates; four of these are based on ancient paintings, while the others are portraits of artists, engraved by Grignion, Muller, Chambers, and Bannerman.

To be had of W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter Exchange.

To be purchased from W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter Exchange.

As we have no wish whatever to paint the lily, we will, although the subject is a kindred one, leave Horace Walpole’s book without a fresh criticism to add to the thousand and odd already passed upon it, and will pass on to the land “where the men are all brave and the women all beautiful,” and where, in Faulkner’s Dublin Journal, also of February 1762, we come upon the cry of a young man for his mother. In the advertisement is the nucleus of a story quite equal to “Tom Jones,” provided, of course, that its author possessed the fancy of a Fielding. We are not aware of any literary gentleman who would succeed, though we are acquainted with plenty who would most confidently make the attempt;[210] their only doubt, if doubt possessed them at all, being not in their own powers, but in the discernment of the reading public. To them, therefore, we present the groundwork of a story which would naturally enlist the sympathies of England and Ireland. A little might also be thrown in for the benefit of Scotland, which would hardly like to be left out of so fascinating a romance:—

As we have no desire to overdo things, we will, even though it's a related topic, skip adding new criticism to Horace Walpole’s book, which has already seen countless critiques, and move on to the land “where the men are all brave and the women all beautiful.” Here, in Faulkner’s Dublin Journal, also from February 1762, we encounter a young man's longing for his mother. In the advertisement lies the essence of a story that could rival “Tom Jones,” as long as the author has the imagination of a Fielding. We don’t know any writer who could pull it off, but we know many who would eagerly try; their only uncertainty, if they had any, would not be about their own abilities but about how the reading public would react. So, to them, we present the foundation of a story that would naturally resonate with both England and Ireland. A bit could also be included for Scotland, which would surely want to be part of such an intriguing love story

WHEREAS a lady who called herself a native of Ireland was in England in the year 1740, and resided some time at a certain village near Bath, where she was delivered of a son, whom she left with a sum of money under the care of a person in the same parish, and promised to fetch him at a certain age, but has not since been heard of; now this is to desire the lady, if living, and this should be so fortunate as to be seen by her, to send a letter, directed to T. E. to be left at the Chapter Coffee house, St Paul’s Churchyard, London, wherein she is desired to give an account of herself, and her reasons for concealing this affair: or if the lady should be dead, and any person is privy to the affair, they are likewise desired to direct as above.—N.B. This advertisement is published by the person himself, not from motives of necessity, or to court any assistance (he being, by a series of happy circumstances, possessed of an easy and independent fortune) but with a real desire to know his origin.—P.S. The strictest secrecy may be depended on.

WHEREAS a woman who identified herself as a native of Ireland was in England in 1740 and stayed for a while in a village near Bath, where she gave birth to a son. She left him with some money in the care of someone from the same parish, promising to come back for him when he reached a certain age, but she has not been heard from since. This is a request for the lady, if she is still alive and happens to see this, to send a letter addressed to T. E. to be left at the Chapter Coffee House, St Paul’s Churchyard, London, where she is asked to explain her situation and reasons for keeping this matter a secret; or if the lady has passed away and anyone is aware of this situation, they are also asked to send a letter as mentioned above.—N.B. This notice is published by the person himself, not out of necessity or to seek any help (he is, by a series of fortunate circumstances, in a comfortable and independent financial situation) but genuinely wanting to know about his background.—P.S. You can count on the strictest confidentiality.

Foundlings seem to have been better off a hundred years ago than now, for in all stories they come out very well, and in this present instance T. E. seems to have been able to help himself. It is not unlikely, however, that some sharp adventurer, knowing how weak is human nature, had hit upon the expedient of attracting maternal sympathies—Bath was a great place at that time for interesting invalids—with a view to a system of extortion. This may, or may not be, and at this distance of time it is useless to speculate. Accordingly we turn once more to the London Gazette, and in a number for April 1762 find this:—

Foundlings seem to have had a better life a hundred years ago than they do now, since in all the stories they end up quite well, and in this case, T. E. appears to have managed to help himself. It's also possible that some cunning schemer, aware of the weaknesses of human nature, took advantage of drawing out maternal instincts—Bath was a popular spot for interesting invalids back then—with the aim of running a con. Whether this is true or not is uncertain, and it's pointless to speculate from such a distance in time. So, let's return once more to the London Gazette, and in an issue from April 1762, we find this:—

THE following persons being fugitives for debt, and beyond the seas, on or before the twenty-fifth day of October, one thousand seven hundred and sixty, and having surrendered themselves to the Gaolers or[211] Keepers of the respective Prisons or Gaols hereafter mentioned, do hereby give notice, that they intend to take the benefit of an Act of Parliament passed in the first year of the reign of His present Majesty King George the Third, intituled An Act for relief of Insolvent Debtors, at the next General or Quarter Sessions of the Peace, to be held in and for the County, Riding, Division, City, Town, Liberty or Place, or any adjournment thereof, which shall happen next after thirty days from the first Publication of the undermentioned names, viz.,

THE following individuals, who are fugitives due to unpaid debts and are currently abroad, on or before October 25, 1760, and who have surrendered themselves to the jailers or[211] keepers of the respective prisons mentioned below, hereby notify that they plan to take advantage of a law passed during the first year of the reign of His Majesty King George the Third, titled An Act for relief of Insolvent Debtors, at the next General or Quarter Sessions of the Peace, to be held for the County, Riding, Division, City, Town, Liberty, or Place, or any adjournment thereof, which will occur thirty days after the first publication of the names listed below, namely,

James Colburn, late of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the county of Middlesex, Baker.

James Colburn, formerly of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the county of Middlesex, Baker.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of Whitechapel Prison, in the County of Middlesex.

Fugitive turned themselves in to the Warden of Whitechapel Prison, in Middlesex County.

Second Notice.

Second Notice.

Charles Watkins, late of the Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour, Southwark, in the county of Surrey, Waterman.

Charles Watkins, formerly of Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour, Southwark, in Surrey, Waterman.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter, in the City of London.

Fugitive turned themselves in to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter in the City of London.

Third Notice.

Final Reminder.

James Buckley, formerly of Cock Alley, late of Star Alley, in the Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Cordwainer.

James Buckley, previously of Cock Alley, recently of Star Alley, in the Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Shoemaker.

This is one of the first notices given of an intention to take the benefit of an Act that was much wanted. The slowness of people to take advantage of any boon, no matter how priceless, is here once again shown, for there are but three claimants for redemption, two of whom had been published before. By the middle of 1762 the Cock Lane ghost had had its two years’ run and was discovered, and it must have been just about the time of the trial of Parsons and his family—viz., in June—that the following appeared in the British Chronicle:—

This is one of the first announcements about the plan to take advantage of a much-needed law. The hesitation of people to seize any opportunity, no matter how valuable, is evident here, as there are only three claimants for redemption, two of whom had already been published before. By mid-1762, the Cock Lane ghost had run for two years and was exposed, and it must have been around the time of the trial of Parsons and his family—in June—that the following appeared in the British Chronicle:—

This day is published, price 6d.

This day is published, price 6d.

A TRUE account of the several conversations between the supposed Apparition in Cock Lane, and the Gentlemen who attended. Together with the Death and Funeral of Mrs K——, and many other circumstances not made known to the World.

A TRUE account of the various conversations between the alleged Apparition in Cock Lane and the gentlemen who were present. This also includes the death and funeral of Mrs K——, along with many other details that have not been shared with the public.

Published for the conviction of the incredulous.

Published to win over skeptics.

"I would trust the ghost's word for a thousand pounds." Hamlet.

Printed for E. Cabe, at his Circulating library in Ave Marie lane; and to be had of all Pamphlet shops and News carriers.

Printed for E. Cabe, at his circulating library on Ave Marie Lane; and available at all pamphlet shops and newsstands.

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It is hard to tell whether the writer is in favour of the ghost’s existence or not from the advertisement, for while he in one breath speaks of the supposed apparition, he immediately afterwards refers to the incredulous, and quotes no less an authority than Shakespeare in support of the imposition. Doubtless this was a trick to secure the purchase-money, if not the support, of the partisans of both sides. Next, in the same paper, we come upon a notice of the post-office in reference to the foreign mails of that day, which runs thus:—

It’s difficult to determine if the writer supports the ghost's existence based on the advertisement. On one hand, he mentions the supposed apparition, but then he quickly talks about skeptics and even quotes Shakespeare to back up the claim. Clearly, this was a tactic to earn money from both sides of the debate. Next, in the same publication, we find a notice from the post office regarding that day’s foreign mail, which reads thus:—

General Post Office, Aug. 8, 1762.

Post Office, Aug. 8, 1762.

PUBLIC Notice is hereby given to all persons corresponding with His Majesty’s island of Belleisle, that Letters for the future will be regularly forwarded from Plymouth to and from that Island, by two Vessels, lately hired and appointed for that purpose.

PPUBLIC Notice is hereby given to everyone communicating with His Majesty’s island of Belleisle that, from now on, letters will be regularly sent to and from that island from Plymouth by two vessels that have recently been hired and designated for this purpose.

By Order of the Postmaster-General,

By Order of the Postmaster General,

Henry Potts, Secretary.

Henry Potts, Secretary.

The mail service across the Atlantic was somewhat different in 1762 from what it is now, when a continuous stream of letters is every day poured forth, either by way of Liverpool or by means of the later delivery at Queenstown. Soldiers seem to have been shorter, too, not only in height but in quantity, about this time, if the evidence of an advertisement of January 1, 1763, is to be taken. We are still quoting from the British Chronicle, and shall continue to do so until another journal is named:—

The mail service across the Atlantic in 1762 was quite different from what it is today, where a constant flow of letters is sent out every day, either through Liverpool or via the later delivery from Queenstown. Soldiers also seemed to be shorter, both in height and in number, around this time, if we consider the evidence from an advertisement dated January 1, 1763. We are still quoting from the British Chronicle, and we'll keep doing so until another publication is mentioned:—

THE Royal Regiment of Horse Guards, commanded by the Right Honourable the Marquis of Granby, is willing to entertain any young Man under 23 years of age, having a good Character, strait and well made, in height from five feet ten, to six feet one inch. Apply to Quarter Master Campbell, at the Market Coffee House, Mayfair.

THE Royal Regiment of Horse Guards, led by the Right Honourable the Marquis of Granby, is open to considering any young man under 23 years old, who has a good character, is straight and well-built, and stands between five feet ten and six feet one inch tall. Apply to Quarter Master Campbell at the Market Coffee House, Mayfair.

From the same copy we take another notice, which shows that the executors of Mr Ward not only considered it their duty to get rid of his stock at the best possible advantage, but also to continue a defence of the business which had[213] been instituted by the late proprietor against the attacks of an impostor. The reason they give for the republication is curious, unless they fancied its omission would trouble the spirit of the late compounder of drugs:—

From the same source, we find another notice that shows Mr. Ward's executors not only saw it as their responsibility to sell his stock for the best possible profit but also to defend the business that had been set up by the late owner against an impostor's attacks. The reason they provide for the republication is interesting, unless they thought leaving it out would upset the spirit of the late drug compounder:—[213]

THE late Joshua Ward of Whitehall, Esq., having left very considerable quantities of his principal Medicines ready prepared, such and such only as may be applied for by name, will be delivered at his late dwelling-house in Whitehall.

THe late Joshua Ward of Whitehall, Esq., left behind a significant amount of his main medicines already prepared. Only those that can be specifically requested by name will be available for pick-up at his former residence in Whitehall.

As not the least pretence is made by us, of having any judgment in the application of Medicine, we presume to say no more than that the specified orders shall be delivered with the utmost care and fidelity.—Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.

As we don't claim to have any expertise in the field of Medicine, we merely state that the specified orders will be delivered with the highest level of care and accuracy.—Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.

As the following was published by the late Mr Ward it is necessary to adjoin the same.—“Having seen in the public papers that a woman servant discharged from my service advertises herself as (late) my housekeeper and assistant in preparing my medicines. It is a justice I owe the public and myself, to declare, that this woman was hired and lived with me as, and at the wages of a common working servant, keeping no other. And as to what knowledge she may have in preparing my medicines, every living servant in my family, with the same propriety, may pretend to it, being all assistants to me by their manual labour. Signed—Joshua Ward.”

As this was published by the late Mr. Ward, it's important to include it here. — “I saw in the newspapers that a woman who was let go from my employment is advertising herself as my former housekeeper and someone who helped prepare my medicines. It's only fair to set the record straight for both the public and myself: this woman was hired and lived with me as a regular working servant, receiving the same pay. As for her knowledge of preparing my medicines, every other servant in my household could claim the same, as they all assist me with their manual labor. Signed—Joshua Ward.”

Soon after this, February 10-12, comes an announcement which must have filled the lady readers of the Chronicle—for ladies ever loved bargains—with anxiety and their husbands with terror. The last paragraph shows that the warehouseman knew well how to bait his trap for the unwary:-

Soon after this, February 10-12, there's an announcement that must have filled the female readers of the Chronicle—because women have always loved a good deal—with worry and their husbands with dread. The last paragraph reveals that the warehouseman knew exactly how to set his trap for the unsuspecting:-

A REAL SALE OF SILKS

A REAL SALE OF SILK

AT the Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. Consisting of a very great assortment of Rich brocades, Tissues, flowered and plain Sattins, Tabbies, Ducapes, black Armozeens, Rasdumores, Mantuas, &c. Being purchased of the executors of an eminent weaver and factor, deceased, and of another left off trade.

AT the Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. It features a huge selection of rich brocades, fabrics, floral and plain satins, tabbies, ducapes, black armozeens, rasdumores, mantuas, etc. These items were purchased from the estate of a well-known weaver and merchant who has passed away, as well as from another business that has closed down.

Merchants, &c., may be supplied with rich Silks fit for exportation, fresh and fine patterns, greatly under prime cost, for ready money only, the price marked on each piece.

Merchants, etc., can purchase high-quality silks suitable for export, fresh and stylish patterns, at prices significantly below cost, for cash only, with the price indicated on each piece.

It is hoped Ladies will not be offended that they cannot possibly be waited on at their own Houses.

It is hoped that ladies will not be upset that they can't be served in their own homes.

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Within a very short period, little more than a week, we come across an advertisement which we admit fairly puzzles us. We are certainly far more able to believe that the precious balsam does all that is promised for it, than we are to understand the reason for its having but one title. It runs thus:—

Within just over a week, we encounter an advertisement that honestly confuses us. We can definitely believe that the valuable balm does everything it claims, but we can't understand why it only has one name. It goes like this:—

WARHAM’S Apoplectic Balsam, so well known as an excellent remedy against Fits, Convulsions, &c., cures Deafness, bad Humours in the Eyes, inward Bruises, dissolves hard Lumps in the Breast, and has often cured Cancers, as can be proved by Facts; is a sovereign salve for green Wounds, Burns, &c. Is prepared and sold only by W. Strode, at the Golden Ball, Tottenham Court Road, London.

WARHAM'S Apoplectic Balsam, widely recognized as a great remedy for seizures, convulsions, etc., treats deafness, eye irritations, internal bruises, breaks down hard lumps in the chest, and has frequently cured cancers, as proven by evidence; it is a powerful salve for fresh wounds, burns, etc. It is prepared and sold exclusively by W. Strode at the Golden Ball, Tottenham Court Road, London.

Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, of a most grateful smell, and an effectual remedy for giddiness, nervous pains in the Head, &c.

Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, which has a delightful scent and is an effective remedy for dizziness, headaches, and so on.

Also Warham’s excellent Mouth water, which certainly cures the toothache, strengthens and preserves the Teeth, takes off all smells proceeding from bad Teeth, &c.

Also, Warham's excellent mouthwash certainly cures toothaches, strengthens and preserves the teeth, and eliminates all odors caused by bad teeth, etc.

In a number for February 26 to March 1, 1764, there is an announcement of one of those dinners without which no English charity ever has succeeded, or, so long as English nature remains as it is, ever will succeed without. It is noticeable for various reasons, and especially for the notices of “Mr” Handel and the airing of the hall:—

In an issue from February 26 to March 1, 1764, there’s an announcement about one of those dinners that no English charity has ever succeeded without, and probably never will as long as English nature stays the same. It stands out for several reasons, particularly for the mentions of “Mr” Handel and the airing of the hall:—

MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.
Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.

MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.
Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.

THE Anniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will be held on Thursday the 18th of March next, at Drapers-Hall, in Throgmorton Street, after a sermon to be preached at the Parish Church of St George, Hanover Square, before the Right Honourable the Earl of Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer and Governor of this Charity; by the Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop of St David’s.

THE Anniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will take place on Thursday, March 18th, at Drapers-Hall on Throgmorton Street, following a sermon at the Parish Church of St. George, Hanover Square, for the Right Honourable the Earl of Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer; and Governor of this Charity, delivered by Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop of St. David’s.

Prayers will begin at eleven o’clock precisely, and Dinner will be on table at Three o’clock.

Prayers will start at eleven o’clock sharp, and dinner will be served at three o’clock.

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Stewards.
The Right Hon. Lord Viscount Spencer.
The Right Hon. Lord Scarsdale.

Stewards.
The Right Honorable Lord Viscount Spencer.
The Right Honorable Lord Scarsdale.

  • Joseph Martin, Esq.
  • John Weyland, Esq.
  • John Barker, Esq.
  • John Eddows, Esq.
  • John Smith, Esq.
  • Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.
  • John Lefevre, Esq.
  • Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.

N.B.—A Te Deum, composed by Mr Handel for the late Duke of Chandos’s Chapel, with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed by Mr Beard, and a proper Band of the best performers, both vocal and instrumental.

N.B.—A Te Deum, written by Mr. Handel for the late Duke of Chandos’s Chapel, along with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed by Mr. Beard and a well-chosen group of top performers, both singers and musicians.

The Hall will be properly aired.

The hall will be properly ventilated.

Tickets for the Feast may be had at the following places, at five shillings each, viz., Mr Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad Street, and at the following Coffee-Houses; Arthur’s, in St James’s Street; Mount’s, Grosvenor Square; Tom’s, in Devereux Court; Richard’s, in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s, in Cornhill; and Waghorn’s, at the Court of Requests.

Tickets for the Feast can be purchased at the following locations for five shillings each: Mr. Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad Street, and at these Coffee Houses; Arthur’s in St James’s Street; Mount’s in Grosvenor Square; Tom’s in Devereux Court; Richard’s in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s in Cornhill; and Waghorn’s at the Court of Requests.

Two ladies Tickets for the Church will be given
with each Feast Ticket.

Two ladies' tickets for the church will be provided
with each feast ticket.

Mr Gibson, whose advertisement appears in the edition for April 5-7, 1764, would have been invaluable to Julia Pastrana and the Bearded Lady, while his aid would have been equally in demand among those anxious to cover themselves with the glory of hirsute appendages. Unfortunately for him, moustaches and beards were not then in demand, nor was baldness so noticeable as now; but the request for his beautifying paste doubtless compensated him for other neglects:—

Mr. Gibson, whose ad shows up in the edition from April 5-7, 1764, would have been a huge asset to Julia Pastrana and the Bearded Lady, and his help would have been just as sought after by those eager to flaunt their hairy features. Sadly for him, mustaches and beards weren't really in style back then, and baldness wasn't as obvious as it is today; but the demand for his beauty paste likely made up for other oversights:—

A CARD TO THE LADIES.

A Note to the Ladies.

MR GIBSON’S Innocent Composition, so greatly admired for its wonderful effects, in removing by the Roots in half a minute, the most strong Hair growing in any part of the Head or Face, without the least hurt to the finest Skin of Ladies or Children; he sells this useful composition at 5s. an ounce, with such full directions that any Person may use it themselves.

MR GIBSON’S Innocent Composition, highly praised for its amazing ability to remove even the toughest hair from any part of the head or face in just half a minute, all without causing any harm to the delicate skin of women or children; he offers this effective solution for £5 an ounce, along with detailed instructions so that anyone can use it themselves.

Also his curious Preparation for coaxing Hair to grow on bald Parts when worn off by illness, it being allowed by many who have tried many approved remedies, to fully answer the desired Purpose.

Also, his interesting preparation for encouraging hair to grow on bald spots that occurred due to illness, which many who have tried various approved remedies claim effectively achieves the desired result.

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Likewise his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands, so well known to the Ladies for giving a true Enamel to the Skin; in pots at 10s. 6d. In lesser pots at 5s. each. The above things to be had of him and nowhere else in England, next door to the Golden Star in Lower Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn.—No less a quantity of the composition can be had than one Ounce, nor of the preparation or paste than one Pot.

Likewise, his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands is well-known among women for giving a true glow to the skin; available in pots for £10.50 and smaller pots for £5 each. You can only get these items from him, located next to the Golden Star in Lower Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn. — You can’t buy less than one ounce of the composition or less than one pot of the preparation or paste.

N.B.—Gibson in gold Letters over the Door.

N.B.—Gibson in gold letters above the door.

That the practice of inserting “dummy” advertisements for the purpose of drawing others had been adopted before this, is shown by a caution inserted in the Public Advertiser of January 1, 1765, though why theatrical managers should have objected to gratuitous publicity we cannot understand. Misrepresentation of the title of a play to be performed would rarely act detrimentally, while it would often be beneficial. Managers of the present day never object to anything but adverse criticism in a newspaper, and this affects them in various ways. Critics may be as favourable as they like, but let them condemn a piece and they raise a storm not easily allayed. The managerial feeling is then shown at once. Sometimes the advertisement of the theatre is summarily stopped, at others the usual first-night privilege is suspended, and not rarely of late years letters have been written and published showing how utterly biassed the criticism has been. But not one of the whole theatrical fraternity ever objects to a gratuitous advertisement. Even a man who comes on with a message likes it, though he in common with all the outsiders of “the profession” affects to despise criticism, and will, on the slightest provocation, speak about well-known writers for the press in a most contemptuous manner. But here is the advertisement:—

That the practice of inserting “dummy” ads to attract attention had been used before this is evidenced by a warning in the Public Advertiser from January 1, 1765. However, it’s hard to understand why theater managers would object to free publicity. Misrepresenting the title of a play being performed would hardly cause harm, while it could often be advantageous. Nowadays, managers only take issue with negative reviews in newspapers, which affect them in various ways. Critics can sing praises all they want, but if they condemn a piece, it creates a backlash that’s hard to calm. The managerial response is immediate. Sometimes theater ads are abruptly stopped, other times the usual first-night perks are put on hold, and in recent years, letters have been published showing just how biased the criticism has been. Yet, not a single person in the entire theater community ever complains about free advertising. Even someone who comes on stage with a message appreciates it, even though he, like all the outsiders of “the profession,” pretends to scorn criticism and will, at the slightest provocation, speak very contemptuously about well-known press writers. But here is the ad:—

THE Managers of Drury Lane think it proper to give notice that Advertisements of their Plays by their authority are published only in this Paper and the Daily Courant, and that the Publishers of all other Papers who presume to insert Advertisements of the same Plays, can do it only by some surreptitious intelligence or hearsay[217] which frequently leads them to commit gross Errors, as mentioning one Play for another, falsely representing the Parts, etc. to the misinformation of the Town and the great detriment of the said Theatre.

THE Managers of Drury Lane want to inform you that advertisements for their plays, authorized by them, are only published in this paper and the Daily Courant. Any other publications that attempt to advertise these plays are doing so based on unauthorized information or hearsay[217], which often leads to serious mistakes, like confusing one play for another or misrepresenting the roles, causing confusion for the public and significant harm to the theater.

As different in style as it is distant in date and place of publication is the next item which attracts our attention. It looks suspiciously like a hoax, for though other Newcastle papers of the time have been rigorously searched, no news is discovered of Mrs Bell having shared the fate which is said to overtake all who pry unduly into the secrets of the Craft for the purpose of making capital out of their information. The advertisement appears in the Newcastle Courant of January 4, 1770, and runs as follows:—

As different in style as it is far removed in time and place of publication is the next item that catches our eye. It seems suspiciously like a hoax, because although other Newcastle papers from that period have been thoroughly examined, there's no news about Mrs. Bell facing the fate that supposedly befalls anyone who pries too much into the secrets of the Craft to profit from their information. The advertisement appears in the Newcastle Courant on January 4, 1770, and reads as follows:—

THIS is to acquaint the Public, That on Monday the first instant, being the Lodge (or Monthly Meeting) night of the Free and Accepted Masons of the 22d Regiment, held at the Crown, near Newgate (Newcastle) Mrs Bell, the Landlady of the House, broke open a Door (with a Poker) that had not been opened for some Years past, by which means she got into an adjacent Room, made two Holes through the Wall, and by that stratagem discovered the secrets of Masonry; and she, knowing herself to be the first Woman in the World that ever found out the Secret, is willing to make it known to all her Sex. So any Lady who is desirous of learning the Secrets of Free Masonry, by applying to that well-learned Woman (Mrs Bell that lived 15 years in and about Newgate) may be instructed in all the Secrets of Masonry.

THIS is to inform the public that on Monday, the first of this month, during the Lodge (or Monthly Meeting) night for the Free and Accepted Masons of the 22nd Regiment, held at the Crown near Newgate (Newcastle), Mrs. Bell, the landlady, broke open a door (with a poker) that hadn’t been opened for years. This allowed her to enter an adjacent room, make two holes through the wall, and discover the secrets of Masonry. Knowing she is the first woman in the world to uncover these secrets, she is eager to share them with other women. Any lady interested in learning the secrets of Freemasonry can approach this knowledgeable woman (Mrs. Bell, who has lived around Newgate for 15 years) for instruction in all the secrets of Masonry.

Coming back to London again, we find the following announcement published in more papers than one. It is well worthy of perusal, as giving a picture of the loneliness of Chelsea and its approaches a hundred years ago, when it was a little outlying village, and when the whole duty of a watchman was to evade by any and every means in his power, contact with footpads, “high tobymen,” or burglars:—

Coming back to London again, we find the following announcement published in several newspapers. It’s definitely worth reading, as it paints a picture of the solitude of Chelsea and its surroundings a hundred years ago, when it was a small outlying village, and when the entire job of a watchman was to avoid by every means possible any contact with footpads, "high tobymen," or burglars

Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb. 20, 1770.

Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb 20, 1770.

THE Inhabitants of the Parish of Chelsea, being desirous to prevent, as far as in them lies, any Robberies or Felonies being committed in the said Parish, do hereby give Notice, that they have[218] entered into a Subscription, for a Reward for the Discovery of Robberies or Felonies, and have therefore paid into the Hands of Mr Edward Anderson, of Chelsea aforesaid, as Treasurer, a Sum of Money to answer the several Purposes hereafter mentioned, to such Person or Persons who shall, during the Space of one whole Year from the Date hereof, apprehend or take any Offender or Offenders, as are herein after described, the several and respective Rewards hereafter mentioned, in fourteen Days after Conviction, over and above what such Person or Persons may be entitled unto by such Apprehending and Conviction by any Law now in Being.

THe Residents of the Parish of Chelsea, wanting to prevent, as much as possible, any thefts or crimes happening in the parish, are giving notice that they have[218] joined together to offer a Reward for information leading to the discovery of thefts or crimes. They have paid a sum of money into the hands of Mr. Edward Anderson, Treasurer of Chelsea, for this purpose. This money will be used to reward any individual or individuals who, within one year from this date, apprehend or capture any offenders, as described below. The respective rewards will be issued within fourteen days after conviction, in addition to any other rewards that such individuals may receive for their arrests and convictions under any existing law.

For every Robbery that shall be committed by any Highwayman or Highwaymen, Footpad or Footpads, within the said Parish (except that Part of the Parish and Road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill, which belongs to the said Parish), the Sum of Ten Pounds.

For every robbery committed by any highwayman or highwaymen, footpad or footpads, within the said parish (except for that part of the parish and road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill, which belongs to the said parish), the sum of ten pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall break into the Dwelling House of any Subscriber, or send any Incendiary Letter to any Subscriber, the Sum of Ten Pounds.

For anyone who breaks into the home of any Subscriber or sends any incendiary letter to any Subscriber, the amount will be ten pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall steal any Horse, Mare, Colt, or other Cattle, belonging to a Subscriber, or commit any Thefts or Robberies in any of their Outhouses, the Sum of Five Pounds.

For anyone who steals any horse, mare, colt, or other livestock belonging to a subscriber, or commits any thefts or robberies in any of their outbuildings, the penalty is five pounds.

For every Theft or Robbery that shall be committed in any Garden, Garden-Grounds, or Fields, Orchard, Court Yard, Backside or Fish-ponds, or any Barge or Craft lying ashore, belonging to any of the Subscribers, or shall steal any of their Fruit, Poultry, Fish, Linen, Lead, Iron-Gates, or Gate-Hinges, Pales, or Fences, the Sum of Forty Shillings.

For every theft or robbery that occurs in any garden, garden grounds, fields, orchard, courtyard, backyard, fish ponds, or any barge or boat docked ashore, owned by any of the subscribers, or if anyone steals any of their fruit, poultry, fish, linen, lead, iron gates, gate hinges, fences, or barriers, the penalty will be forty shillings.

And the Subscribers do hereby promise to pay and discharge the whole, or such Part of the Expence of such Prosecution or Prosecutions of the several Offences above-mentioned, as upon Application to any five or more of the Subscribers, at a Meeting called for that Purpose, shall judge reasonable.

And the Subscribers promise to pay and cover the entire cost, or a portion of the expense, of the prosecution of the various offenses mentioned above, as determined to be reasonable by any five or more of the Subscribers during a meeting called for that purpose.

And for the farther Encouragement of all and every the Person and Persons who shall apprehend and convict any Offender or Offenders in any of the Offences aforesaid, the said Subscribers do hereby promise to use their Endeavours for procuring the speedy Payment of such Reward as such Person or Persons may be entitled to by any Law now in Being.

And to further encourage anyone who catches and convicts any offender related to the crimes mentioned above, the Subscribers promise to do their best to ensure the quick payment of any reward that person or persons may be entitled to under existing laws.

And the said Subscribers do farther promise and agree, That if any Offenders shall, before his or her own Apprehension for any of the Offences aforesaid, voluntarily discover, or apprehend any of his or her Accomplices, so as he, she, or they, be convicted thereof, such Person so apprehending as aforesaid, shall be entitled to, and have such Reward or Sums of Money as before provided for apprehending and taking the said several Offenders as aforesaid, upon Conviction.

And the mentioned Subscribers further promise and agree that if any Offenders, before they are caught for any of the offenses mentioned earlier, voluntarily reveal or capture any of their accomplices, leading to their conviction, then that person who made the capture will be entitled to and receive the reward or amount of money previously stated for capturing and delivering those Offenders upon their conviction.

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The popularity of the Daily Courant and Public Advertiser with the managers of Drury Lane Theatre seems to have come to a sudden end in 1771, probably for the reasons we have noticed as affecting modern managerial bosoms, for in the Daily Post this appears:—

The popularity of the Daily Courant and Public Advertiser with the managers of Drury Lane Theatre seems to have ended abruptly in 1771, likely for the reasons we've mentioned that impact today's managerial concerns, as noted in the Daily Post this appears:—

TO prevent any Mistake in future in advertising the Plays and entertainments of Drury Lane Theatre, the Managers think it proper to declare that the Playbills are inserted by their direction in this Paper only.

TO avoid any mistakes in the future when advertising the plays and entertainments at Drury Lane Theatre, the Managers have decided to state that the playbills are included in this paper only by their directive.

The St James’s Chronicle (a weekly paper which is still alive, and as strong in its Toryism as ever), in July 1772, contains an advertisement which for coolness and audacity is very noticeable, even at a time when requests were put forth in the columns of the public press with most unblushing effrontery:—

The St James’s Chronicle (a weekly paper that still exists and is just as strong in its Tory views as ever) includes an advertisement from July 1772 that stands out for its boldness and audacity, even during a period when the public press featured requests with the most shameless confidence:—

WANTED immediately, Fifteen Hundred or Two Thousand Pounds by a person not worth a Groat, who having neither Houses, Lands, Annuities or public Funds, can offer no other Security than that of simple Bond, bearing simple interest and engaging the Repayment of the Sum borrowed in five, six or seven Years, as may be agreed upon by the Parties. Whoever this may suit (for it is hoped it will suit somebody) by directing a line to A. Z. in Rochester, shall be immediately replied to or waited on, as may appear necessary.

WANTED immediately, £1,500 or £2,000 from someone who's not worth a penny, who, lacking any Houses, Land, Annuities, or public Funds, can only offer a simple Bond as security, with straightforward interest and a commitment to pay back the borrowed amount in five, six, or seven years, depending on what the Parties decide. If this fits anyone (we hope it does), please send a message to A. Z. in Rochester, and we’ll respond or come to see you as needed.

Benevolence must have been very strongly developed in any one who acceded to the requests of A. Z. But that there was a deal of that commodity afloat at the time of which we are writing, our next specimen, one of disinterestedness and charity, shows. It is from the Gazetteer of November 29, 1773:—

Benevolence must have been highly developed in anyone who agreed to A. Z.'s requests. However, there was a lot of that kindness circulating at the time we're discussing, as our next example of selflessness and charity demonstrates. It's from the Gazetteer of November 29, 1773:—

A LADY of strict Honour and Benevolence, who lives in a genteel sphere of Life, influenced by a variety of critical Circumstances, offers her Service as an Advocate to Persons under the most intricate Circumstances, especially to those of her own Sex, whose Troubles she can with a secret Sympathy share, and who will point out certain Means of alleviating their Distress. The Advertiser has a Genteel House to accommodate such Persons, while their Affairs are settled. The greatest[220] Delicacy, Discretion, and most Inviolable Secrecy may be depended on. Therefore to prevent being made the sport of Curiosity, the Advertiser is determined to answer such Letters only that appear explicit and satisfactory, with the Principal’s Name and Place of Abode. Please to address a line (post paid) for Mrs Gladen, at No. 5 Church Row, Aldgate Church, Whitechapel.

A Woman of high Honor and Kindness, who lives in a respectable part of society, influenced by various important Factors, offers her help as an Advocate to people in complicated situations, especially to women, whose struggles she can deeply empathize with, and who will suggest specific ways to ease their troubles. The Advertiser has an Elegant Home to accommodate these individuals while their matters are resolved. The utmost[220] Sensitivity, Discretion, and unwavering Confidentiality can be ensured. Therefore, to avoid being subjected to useless Curiosity, the Advertiser has decided to respond only to Letters that are clear and informative, including the sender’s Name and Address. Please send a message (post paid) for Mrs. Gladen, at No. 5 Church Row, Aldgate Church, Whitechapel.

Especially those of her own sex. It would be hard to discover what any one of an opposite gender could want as resident with this nice old lady, unless indeed he wished to put in practice the advice given to Nicodemus. But, as for money this benevolent beldame would have done anything, there is little doubt she had plenty of visitors of both sexes. It does not do, however, to be too hard on Mrs Gladen, when it is considered that she has many highly successful and extremely respectable representatives of the present day. We therefore pass on to the latter part of 1774, when it is evident, from a perusal of the advertisements alone, that a general election is impending. In September we find this in the Morning Post:—

Especially those of her own gender. It would be difficult to understand what anyone of the opposite sex would want as a resident with this nice old lady, unless they wished to follow the advice given to Nicodemus. But as for money, this kind-hearted lady would have done anything; there’s little doubt she had plenty of visitors of both genders. However, it’s important not to be too hard on Mrs. Gladen, considering that she has many highly successful and very respectable representatives today. We therefore move on to the latter part of 1774, when it’s clear, just from looking at the advertisements, that a general election is coming. In September, we find this in the Morning Post:—

A GENTLEMAN of Character and considerable Fortune is extremely desirous of a High Honour at an approaching Period. Any one who can assist him, or point out an eligible means of succeeding, shall be amply recompensed both at present and in future.—In short, name your Terms; secrecy is all required on his part. A Line to Mr Dormer, at No. 24 Ludgate Hill, will be attended to.

A Gentleman of good reputation and significant wealth is very eager for a High Honor in the near future. Anyone who can help him or suggest a suitable way to achieve this will be generously rewarded, both now and later. In short, state your terms; discretion is the only thing he asks for. A message to Mr. Dormer, at No. 24 Ludgate Hill, will be taken seriously.

The Morning Post seems to have been a particular medium for the process by which legislators were made in the “good old days”—good enough for the rich and unscrupulous, of course—for very shortly afterwards many of the same kind appear. The following stipulates the amount, and with true unselfishness recommends the candidate:—

The Morning Post appears to have been a specific platform for how lawmakers were created in the “good old days”—suitable enough for the wealthy and unethical, of course—because not long after, many of the same type show up. The following outlines the amount and, with genuine altruism, endorses the applicant:—

A GENTLEMAN of Honour, Character, and Fortune, who has £1,500 at his Bankers’, has some desire to obtain a Seat. A connection with him will do no discredit to any Man of Rank, or Body of Men. As he is serious, he expects no Application but from such as are so, to Q. at New Lloyd’s Coffee-house, Cornhill.

A MAN of honor, character, and wealth, who has £1,500 in his bank account, is looking to secure a seat. Being associated with him will reflect well on any man of rank or group of people. Since he is serious, he expects inquiries only from those who are serious as well, to Q. at New Lloyd’s Coffee-house, Cornhill.

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One who follows is much more generous, so far as money is concerned, though he lacks the disinterested recommendation of Q. Still as money and not mind is the desideratum among election agents, there is little fear that the chances were in favour of W. W., though doubtless there was room enough found at St Stephen’s for both. Room for two! room for two hundred who had money with which to pave their way:—

One who follows is much more generous when it comes to money, even though he doesn’t have Q’s unbiased recommendation. However, since money and not intellect is what election agents really want, there’s little doubt that the odds were in favor of W. W., although it’s clear there was plenty of space at St. Stephen’s for both. Room for two! Room for two hundred who had money to pave their way:—

A GENTLEMAN of independent fortune is ready to give three Thousand Guineas to be accommodated with a certain purpose to answer the advertiser’s end at this Crisis. Any one inclined to treat about the above, may be further informed by Line, or otherwise, directed for W. W., at George’s Coffee-house, upper end of the Haymarket.

A GENTLEMAN with a good amount of money is willing to pay three thousand guineas to be helped with a specific purpose that meets the advertiser's needs at this time. Anyone interested in discussing this further can reach out by message or can inquire for W. W. at George's Coffee-house, located at the upper end of the Haymarket.

It must not be supposed that the advertisements in reference to the elections emanated only from persons desirous of writing themselves down M.P.’s. There were plenty anxious as well as willing to assist them for a consideration. From many of that time we select one, still taking the Morning Post as our guide:—

It shouldn't be assumed that the election ads came only from people wanting to become M.P.s. There were plenty who were eager and ready to help them for a fee. From many of that era, we choose one, still using the Morning Post as our reference:—

ANY Man of Fortune or Family wishing to enjoy an Honourable Station for seven Years, and to accomplish it without the anxiety which generally accompanies the attaining it by Contention, may probably be accommodated to the utmost of his Wishes, by addressing himself to C. C. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, Paternoster Row, and disclosing his Name, the which he may do without the risk of being divulged, as the advertiser pledges himself that the most inviolable Delicacy and Secrecy will be observed.

ANew York Man of Fortune or Family who wants to enjoy a respectable position for seven years, and achieve it without the stress that usually comes from competition, can likely have his wishes fulfilled by contacting C. C. and leaving details at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, Paternoster Row. He should disclose his name, which will be kept confidential, as the advertiser guarantees that the utmost care and secrecy will be maintained.

We commend the foregoing to the notice of the gentlemen who talk of Conservatism as the bulwark of the nation, and rejoice over any so-called political reaction. However, as Conservatism now means “dishing the Whigs” by the most advanced measures, we can put up with it, and so pass on to another specimen from the Morning Post, which is published at the same time as the foregoing, and is found snugly ensconced among those of quite a different tendency:—

We bring this to the attention of the men who discuss Conservatism as the defense of the nation and celebrate any so-called political backlash. However, since Conservatism now means "undermining the Whigs" with the most progressive strategies, we can tolerate it and move on to another example from the Morning Post, which is being published simultaneously with this one and can be found comfortably situated among those of a completely different kind:—

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A YOUNG Gentleman of the most liberal education and a genteel Address, would be happy in having an opportunity of devoting his services to a Lady of real fashion and fortune, who may wish to have some particular deficiencies thoroughly supplied, without subjecting herself to any disagreeable restraint. Any lady to whom such an offer may be suitable, will receive the fullest Explanation, in answer to a letter addressed to A. X. Turk’s head Coffee House, Strand.

A YOUTH Man with a top-notch education and good manners would be eager to devote his services to a woman of genuine style and wealth, who might want to have certain shortcomings completely addressed, without putting herself under any uncomfortable constraints. Any woman who finds this offer appealing will receive a detailed response by writing to A. X. Turk’s head Coffee House, Strand.

We will leave this without further comment than the expression of a sad idea that this young gentleman knew what was marketable, as well as a belief that he and others like him may have done much to prevent the titles and fortunes of noblemen and gentlemen who married late in life from passing to remote branches. We have no wish to intrude our opinions, which are strong as our faith in human nature is weak, but the advertisement is only a specimen of many others, and, like its congeners, appears in one of the highest class daily papers of the time. Folk are not so outspoken now as was the fashion a hundred years ago, yet is there any one who will venture to state that we are more virtuous? It will be the natural impulse of many who read the next advertisement, which is also from the now fashionable and severely virtuous Post (date January 21, 1775), to cry out against the unnatural guardian who offers to sell his ward. Perhaps though, if they take time to reflect, they may remember instances of marriage for money, which, if not so public, were quite as iniquitous. Listen to a gentleman of honour of the last century:—

We’ll leave this without further comment except to express a sad thought that this young man knew what sold well, along with a belief that he and others like him may have played a big role in keeping noble titles and fortunes from passing to distant relatives of those who married later in life. We don’t want to impose our opinions, which are as strong as our faith in human nature is weak, but this advertisement is just one example among many others, and, like its peers, appears in one of the top daily newspapers of the time. People aren't as outspoken now as they were a hundred years ago, but is there anyone willing to say that we are more virtuous? It will be the natural reaction of many who read the next advertisement, which is also from the now popular and quite virtuous Post (dated January 21, 1775), to protest against the unnatural guardian who offers to sell his ward. However, if they take a moment to think, they might remember cases of marriage for money that, while not as public, were just as wrong. Listen to a gentleman of honor from the last century:—

A GENTLEMAN of Honour and Property, having in his disposal at present a young Lady of good Family, with a fortune of Sixty Thousand Pounds, on her Marriage with his approbation, would be very happy to treat with a Man of Fashion and Family, who may think it worth his while to give the Advertiser a Gratuity of Five thousand pounds on the day of Marriage. As this is no common advertisement, it is expected no Gentleman will apply whose Family and Connections will not bear the strictest enquiry. The Advertiser having always lived retired from the World, immersed in business, is unacquainted with those of that Rank of Life that the Lady’s fortune entitles her to be[223] connected with, for which reason he has made this public application. Letters addressed to L. M., at Tom’s Coffee House, Devereux Court, near the Temple, mentioning real Name, and places of Abode, will punctually be attended to.

A GENTLEMAN of Honor and Property currently has a young lady from a good family, with a fortune of sixty thousand pounds, available for marriage with his approval. He would be very interested in discussing this with a gentleman of style and good lineage who believes it’s worth his while to offer the advertiser a gratuity of five thousand pounds on the wedding day. Since this is not a typical advertisement, it is expected that no gentleman will apply unless his family and connections can withstand the strictest scrutiny. The advertiser has always lived a quiet life, focused on business, and is unfamiliar with the kind of people suitable for someone of the lady’s fortune, which is why he has made this public appeal. Letters should be sent to L. M., at Tom’s Coffee House, Devereux Court, near the Temple, mentioning real name and place of residence, and will be promptly attended to.

This is not so bad for a poor innocent who has lived retired from the world. And doubtless, though he was unacquainted with those of that rank of life to which a lady with sixty thousand pounds might well aspire, he was not to be deceived by even the most specious of fortune-hunters, Irishmen included. But here is another notice quite as interesting, though of a very different kind. It is also from the Morning Post, and appears a few days after that we have chosen to precede it:—

This isn't too bad for a poor innocent who has lived away from the world. And surely, even though he didn’t know people in the social class that a woman with sixty thousand pounds could aspire to, he wouldn’t be fooled by even the most convincing fortune-seekers, Irishmen included. But here’s another notice that’s just as interesting, although very different. It’s also from the Morning Post, and it appears a few days after the one we've chosen to mention before it:—

To the Ladies on Money Affairs.

To the Ladies on Money Matters.

WHEREAS there are Sundry Ladies Who Have Two, Three, Or Four thousand pounds, or even more Money at their command, and who, from not knowing how to dispose of the same to the greatest advantage, but by living on the Small Interests which the stocks produce, afford them but a scanty Maintenance, especially to those who have been accustomed to Affluence, and would wish to live so still; the Advertiser (who is a Gentleman of independent Fortune, strict Honour and Character, and above any other reward than the pleasure of serving the Sex) acquaints such Ladies, that if they will favour him with their Name and Address, so as he may wait on them as opportunity best suits, he will put them into a Method by which they may, without any Trouble, and with an absolute Certainty, place out their Money, so as for it to produce them a clear and lawful interest of Ten or Twelve per cent, and that too on equally as good and safe Securities as if in the Funds, or on Mortgage at the common low interest, etc.

WHEREAS there are various ladies who have two, three, or four thousand pounds, or even more money at their disposal, and who, since they don't know how to manage it for the best return and only rely on the small interest from their stocks, find themselves living on a meager income, especially those used to a luxurious lifestyle who still wish to maintain it; the Advertiser (who is a gentleman with independent wealth, a strong sense of honor and character, and seeks no reward other than the joy of helping women) informs such ladies that if they share their name and address with him, he can meet them at a convenient time and help them figure out a way to invest their money that will provide a clear and legal return of ten to twelve percent, with just as good and safe investments as if it were in government bonds or on a mortgage at the usual low interest rates, etc.

Please to direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee house, opposite Catharine Street, in the Strand, and the same will be duly attended to.

Please direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee House, across from Catharine Street, in the Strand, and it will be properly taken care of.

There was no Associate Institute then to look after the interests of unprotected females; and perhaps if there had been, so plausible a rogue would not have attracted the attention of its highly paid officials. But the “weaker vessels” seem able to take their own parts at advertising,[224] for the following is by no means a unique specimen of their effusions. Once again we draw from the Morning Post, the date being December 15, 1775:—

There was no Associate Institute back then to look out for the interests of unprotected women; and maybe if there had been, such a convincing con artist wouldn’t have caught the eye of its highly paid officials. But the “weaker vessels” seem to manage just fine when it comes to advertising, [224] because the following isn’t at all a unique example of their efforts. Once again, we turn to the Morning Post, dated December 15, 1775:—

A LADY wishes to borrow One Hundred Pounds. The Security, though personal, may probably be very agreeable to a single Gentleman of spirit. Every particular will be communicated with Candour and Sincerity, where confidence is so far reposed as to give the real Name and Address of the party willing to oblige the Advertiser. Gentlemen of real Fortune and liberal Sentiments, and those only, are requested to address a line to Y. N. at Mr Dyke’s, Cross Street, Long-Acre.

A WOMAN wants to borrow One Hundred Pounds. The security, although personal, might be quite appealing to a single gentleman with some spirit. Every detail will be shared with honesty and sincerity, as long as there is enough trust to provide the real name and address of the person willing to help the advertiser. Only gentlemen with genuine wealth and generous attitudes are asked to send a message to Y. N. at Mr. Dyke’s, Cross Street, Long-Acre.

This lady was modest as well as candid and sincere; it is to be hoped she was pretty also, or else she had small chance. But now comes not virtue but honours in distress, and sufficiently hungry to be satisfied with very dirty pudding. In our own times baronets have seen unpleasantnesses; we remember one who used to do casual reporting, fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, &c., and another who took to the stage, unsuccessfully. But he who advertised in the Daily Advertiser of January 23, 1776, was worse off than any titled successor. Judge for yourselves:—

This woman was humble, honest, and sincere; let's hope she was also attractive, or she didn't stand much of a chance. But now we're not talking about virtue, but about honors in tough times, and desperate enough to be happy with really low-quality pudding. In our times, baronets have faced some rough moments; we remember one who used to do casual reporting on fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, and so on, and another who tried acting without success. But the one who placed an ad in the Daily Advertiser on January 23, 1776, had it worse than any titled successor. Judge for yourselves:—

MATRIMONY.

MARRIAGE.

For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.

For just Fifty Pounds, you could gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.

A BARONET of Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance, will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her; his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage, even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be depended on.

A Baronet of Great Britain, who has a good chance and right to quickly recover the above sum through thirteen distinct claims, or to expect part through a compromise, with very little help, will marry any woman, even if she’s pregnant or has children from a previous husband, if she puts a fifty-pound ticket into that lottery; any remaining money she has, if any, will be settled on her; his appearance cannot be objected to, and her lawyer can freely review documents, etc., that clearly outline his prospects; and any young counsel or others can gain an advantage, even a fortune, by offering a small generous assistance. Contact the Baronet at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite Oxford Market, who also has a profession that could be very beneficial for any new adventurer in the physical field, who has a little money to invest as a partner. A patient hearing will address all objections, and the highest level of secrecy and honor can be trusted.

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It is noticeable that “the Baronet,” like those of his rank already referred to, was not above turning his hand to earn an honest penny. A little way back we invited the attention of Conservatives to an edifying extract; may we now dedicate the baronet’s appeal to those who would abolish the laws of primogeniture? Let them be advised in time, unless they should wish to see a duke reduced to despondency, or an earl holding horses for his living. No matter what happens to younger sons. Let them and their younger sons be swallowed up in the middle and lower classes, as they are now, though nobody seems to notice it; but let us preserve, no matter who else suffers, our titled aristocracy in its present exalted position. But what is to become of the scions of nobility who have no claim upon landed estate, when nepotism ceases to exist, sinecures are abolished, and all Government clerkships are matter of open competition! Frankly we do not know, but doubtless Providence will always be tenderly disposed towards persons of good family. Turning once more to the Morning Post (February 15, 1776), we come upon an announcement the merits of which are hard to determine. It promises rather too much:—

It’s clear that “the Baronet,” like others of his status mentioned earlier, wasn’t above doing some work to earn a decent living. A while back, we pointed out a thought-provoking excerpt to the Conservatives; can we now highlight the baronet’s plea to those who want to get rid of the laws of primogeniture? They should be warned in advance, unless they want to see a duke fall into despair or an earl reduced to managing horses for a living. What happens to younger sons doesn’t matter. Let them and their sons blend into the middle and lower classes, as they do now, even if no one seems to notice; but let’s make sure our titled aristocracy stays in its privileged position, no matter who else suffers. But what will happen to the noble offspring who have no connection to land when nepotism is gone, sinecures are eliminated, and all government jobs are up for grabs? Honestly, we don’t know, but surely Providence will always look kindly on people from good families. Looking back at the Morning Post (February 15, 1776), we find an announcement whose value is hard to assess. It promises a bit too a lot:—

FEMALE COMPANION.

GIRLFRIEND.

A LADY of independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if, in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of the other; in a word, a single faux pas will be no objection, provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B. D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of Pleasure need apply.

A Woman of independent means and open-minded views would be happy if, in finding herself a pleasant companion, she could also help lift someone deserving but unfortunate out of hardship, maybe even prevent them from complete ruin. She understands the weaknesses of her own gender and is aware of the deceitful tactics of the opposite sex; in short, a single misstep won't be a dealbreaker, as long as there’s a virtuous nature, and the person in question is kind, friendly, and honest in the account she may share about herself, which can start out anonymously. She should also have the typical skills expected of a good education; know some music, have a pleasant voice, and a graceful appearance, and be between the ages of twenty and twenty-five. Those who fit this description may reach out by letter to B. D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the most deserving candidates will be considered. No mistresses or women seeking pleasure need apply.

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[226]

There seems more of the procuress than the patron about this; still there is no knowing what the taste of an elderly single lady who fancied herself injured by the opposite sex would not lead her to do. So leaving the question open, and trusting the reader will be able to satisfy himself as to the purity or the reverse of the advertiser’s motives, we will pass on to Lloyd’s Evening Post, in which, about the same time, we find the following, which is worthy of notice:—

There seems to be more of the middleman than the supporter in this; still, we can't know what an elderly single woman who thought she was wronged by men might do. So, we'll leave that question open and trust that the reader can figure out for themselves whether the advertiser’s intentions are pure or not. Now, let's move on to Lloyd’s Evening Post, where, around the same time, we find the following, which is worth noticing:—

MONEY wanted—when it can be procured—£100. No security can be given for the Principal, and possibly the Interest may not be punctually paid. Under the above circumstances should any one be found willing to lend the desired Sum, he will much surprise, and particularly oblige the author of this advertisement.—Direct for A. B. C. George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.

MMoney is needed—when it can be arranged—£100. There’s no collateral available for the Principal, and the Interest might not be paid on time. Given these circumstances, if anyone is willing to lend the requested amount, it would greatly surprise and especially help the author of this ad.—Contact A. B. C. at George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.

Even the “author” of this, confident and assured as he must be generally, seems to doubt the readiness of people to part with their money without some inducement, no matter how slight. If A. B. C. had offered something impossible of fulfilment in return for the desired loan, he would very likely have had many applications, whereas it would be hard to believe that in the present instance he had even one. Now, if he had adopted a plan similar to that which is advertised in the Morning Chronicle of April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better chance of raising the wind. This must have arrested the attention and diverted the current of pocket-money of many young lovers:—

Even the “author” of this, who is generally confident and self-assured, seems to doubt people's willingness to part with their money without some sort of incentive, no matter how small. If A. B. C. had offered something completely unrealistic in exchange for the desired loan, he probably would have gotten a lot of requests, whereas it’s hard to believe that he received even one in this case. If he had used a strategy similar to the one promoted in the Morning Chronicle on April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better chance of making some cash. This would have caught the attention and diverted the spending money of many young lovers:—

AFFECTION.

LOVE.

ANY Lady or Gentleman who has made an honourable Connection, may be acquainted if the other party has a reciprocal Affection; and so nice is the method, that it gives in a great measure the degree of esteem. No fortune-telling, nor anything trifling in it, but is a serious and sincere Procedure. To divest any apprehension of discovery of parties, the initials of their names is sufficient. That the meaning of the advertiser may be ascertained, it is only asked for A. B. to know if C. D. has a genuine affection; and of C. D. if A. B. has the like. It is requested that honest Initials be sent, else the deposit[227] of two shillings and sixpence is useless. But to convince those that send for the intelligence of the use of this, they need only to send with the real, other Initials indifferent to them, and they will be satisfied. Absence or distance does not abate the certainty of the then present Esteem and Affection.

ANew York Lady or Gentleman who has formed a respectable connection can find out if the other person feels the same way; the process is so precise that it largely indicates the level of admiration. It's not about fortune-telling or anything trivial, but rather a serious and sincere approach. To avoid any worries about discovering the parties involved, just the initials of their names are enough. The advertiser only requests that A. B. check if C. D. has genuine feelings, and C. D. to find out if A. B. feels the same. Honest initials are required; otherwise, the deposit of two shillings and sixpence becomes pointless. To reassure those seeking this information, they only need to submit their real initials along with unrelated ones, and they will be satisfied. Absence or distance doesn't diminish the certainty of current esteem and affection.

Letters (free) directed to S. J., No. 11, Duke-street, Grosvenor Square, will have honest answers left there, or sent conformable to the address, in a day or two after their Receipt.

Letters (free) sent to S. J., No. 11, Duke Street, Grosvenor Square, will receive honest answers either left there or sent according to the address within a day or two after being received.

The next advertisement we find in our collection savours less of affection, for the desire of the inserter seems to be to prevent some one to whom he has an objection inheriting entailed estates. It has its value, in addition to what consideration may be given to it as a specimen of the manners of the last century, as showing the kind of people who then made the laws. Decency must have made a decided advance, look at it from what point we will, since April 16, 1776, when this appeared in the Public Advertiser:—

The next ad we come across in our collection feels less affectionate, as the person placing it seems more interested in blocking someone they dislike from inheriting estates. It has its worth, not just as a reflection of the attitudes of the last century, but also in revealing the kind of people who were making the laws back then. Decency must have significantly progressed, no matter how you look at it, since April 16, 1776, when this appeared in the Public Advertiser:—

A GENTLEMAN who hath filled two succeeding seats in Parliament, is near sixty years of age, lives in great splendour and hospitality, and from whom a considerable Estate must pass if he dies without issue, hath no objection to marry any Widow or single Lady, provided the party be of genteel birth, polite manners, and five, six, seven, or eight Months gone in her Pregnancy.

A Gentleman who has held two consecutive seats in Parliament, is almost sixty years old, lives in great style and hospitality, and from whom a substantial estate will transfer if he dies without children, has no issues with marrying any widow or single lady, as long as she comes from a respectable background, has good manners, and is five, six, seven, or eight months along in her pregnancy.

Letters directed to —— Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House, facing the Admiralty, will be honoured with due attention, secrecy, and every possible mark of respect.

Letters addressed to —— Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House, opposite the Admiralty, will receive proper attention, confidentiality, and all possible signs of respect.

In the Daily Advertiser of July, in the same year, we find the following, which, though of a much more legitimate character than that just quoted, and directed to the interests of fair and honest trading, will repay perusal:—

In the Daily Advertiser of July, in the same year, we find the following, which, while much more legitimate than what was just quoted and aimed at supporting fair and honest trade, is worth reading:—

TWO Men beg leave to acquaint the Public in general that they keep the cleanest Barber’s Shop in all London, where the people can have their Hair cut for 2d., dressed for 3d., and be shaved for 1d. One of these Men can bleed and draw teeth very well; he bleeds both in the English and German manner, as well at home as abroad, and is exceeding careful. Bleeding 3d., drawing teeth 4d. There is a parlour[228] made in the shop on purpose for bleeding and drawing teeth. The people may depend on being served immediately and well in every respect. No satisfaction, no pay. The above-mentioned Shop is at No. 7 King Street, Seven Dials.

TWO Men would like to inform the public that they run the cleanest barber shop in all of London, where you can get your hair cut for 2d., styled for 3d., and shaved for 1d. One of these men is skilled at bleeding and pulling teeth; he performs both in the English and German styles, whether at home or abroad, and is very careful. Bleeding costs 3d., and tooth extractions are 4d. There is a special area in the shop dedicated to bleeding and tooth extractions. Customers can expect prompt and quality service in every way. No satisfaction, no payment. The aforementioned shop is located at No. 7 King Street, Seven Dials.

Bleeding nowadays is still done by barbers, though not in the same way, nor so scientifically, as practised by the two clean shopkeepers of King Street. Shaving as a high art is neglected nowadays, a state of affairs traceable to the beard and moustache movement of the last twenty years, which has rendered shaving below the attention of true artists, who now give their attention to “cutting and curling,” &c. Any one who doubts this had better trust himself to the untender mercies of half-a-dozen different barbers, in ordinary thoroughfares, and where the prices are fixed at ordinary rates. Before he has tried the sixth establishment he will not only have conformed to our views, but will be a considerably altered, if not an improved, man. In the Morning Post of October 13, 1778, we come across an appeal to the short-sighted, which is worthy of the tribes of welchers who in our own times have made large fortunes through advertising in the columns of the sporting papers. This must have been something like the “discretionary investment” dodge, which brought in large sums to swindling firms who professed to govern the turf a few years back, and whose advertisements occupied whole columns in the newspapers:—

Bleeding is still performed by barbers today, but not in the same way, or as scientifically, as the two tidy shopkeepers on King Street. Shaving as a skilled art has fallen by the wayside, a situation linked to the beard and mustache trend of the last twenty years, which has pushed shaving out of the focus of true artists, who now concentrate on “cutting and curling,” etc. Anyone who doubts this should try the less-than-gentle services of half a dozen different barbers in ordinary areas where prices are set at standard rates. By the time he visits the sixth place, he will not only agree with our views but will also be a significantly changed, if not improved, person. In the Morning Post from October 13, 1778, we find an appeal to the short-sighted, which is reminiscent of the kind of tricks used by those in our own time who have made fortunes from advertising in sports publications. This must have been similar to the “discretionary investment” scheme that brought in substantial amounts for cheating firms that claimed to control horse racing a few years back, and whose ads filled entire columns in the news articles:—

A Serious though Surprising Offer.

A Serious Surprising Offer.

FOR the compliment of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprizing Gentleman or Lady may have revealed to them an eligible method of converting hundreds into Thousands, in a few weeks, and of continuing so to do yearly. The requiring so inadequate a consideration, is because the proposer is under misfortunes. Only letters with real names and residencies will be regarded. Direct for W. W., at the King’s Bench Coffee-House.

FOR the price of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprising Gentleman or Lady can learn about a promising way to turn hundreds into thousands within a few weeks, and keep doing it every year. The low price is due to the proposer’s unfortunate circumstances. Only letters with real names and addresses will be considered. Send your inquiries to W. W., at the King’s Bench Coffee-House.

In the early part of 1778 (May 7) the Morning Post contained the following appeal for an article which has been[229] scarce ever since the world began, which is not valued much when possessed, and which is about the last thing one could hope to obtain through the medium of an advertisement, no matter how cunningly contrived, nor how great the circulation of the paper in which it appeared:—

In early 1778 (May 7), the Morning Post published an appeal for an article that has been[229] scarce since the beginning of time, not highly valued when owned, and is one of the last things you could expect to get through an advertisement, no matter how cleverly crafted or how widespread the paper's circulation is in which it appeared:—

WANTED immediately, the most difficult thing to be met with in the world, A Sincere Friend, by a person, who, though in the meridian of life, has outlived all he had. He wishes to meet with a Person in whom he may repose the most implicit Confidence; a Person who has a good heart, and abilities to second that goodness of heart; who will give his advice cordially, and assistance readily. The advertiser is a person in a genteel situation of life; has a decent income, but is at present so circumstanced as to want a sincere friend.—Any Person willing (from principles of Friendship, not Curiosity) to reply to the above, by directing a line to T. S., at Mr Sharp’s, stationer, facing Somerset House, Strand, will be immediately waited on or properly replied to.

WANTED immediately, the most challenging thing to find in the world, A Genuine Friend, by someone who, although in the prime of life, has lost everything. He wants to connect with a person in whom he can place his utmost trust; someone who has a kind heart, along with the ability to support that kindness; who will offer advice sincerely and help readily. The advertiser is someone in a respectable position; has a reasonable income, but is currently in a situation where he seeks a true friend.—Anyone willing (from the spirit of Friendship, not Curiosity) to respond to the above, can send a message to T. S., at Mr. Sharp’s, stationer, facing Somerset House, Strand, and will receive a prompt visit or proper reply.

Money, the sincerest of all friends, is probably the object of T. S.’s ambition. If he was not suited in the year ’78, an opportunity occurred soon after; for specially directed to the cupidity of persons who desire to get money, and are not at all particular what the means so long as the end is attained, is the following, which appears in the Morning Post of March 1779:—

Money, the truest friend of all, is likely what T. S. aims for. If he wasn’t well-off in '78, a chance came shortly after; specifically aimed at those eager to make money and who don’t care about the methods as long as they achieve their goal, is the following, which appears in the Morning Post of March 1779:—

A GENTLEMAN of Fortune, whom Family reasons oblige to drop a connection which has for some time subsisted between him and an agreeable young Lady, will give a considerable sum of Money with her to any Gentleman, or person in genteel Business, who has good sense and resolution to despise the censures of the World, and will enter with her into the Holy state of Matrimony. Letters addressed to Mr G. H., at the Cecil Street Coffee-House, will be paid due attention to.

A MAN of Fortune, who needs to end a connection due to family reasons with a lovely young lady, is willing to offer a significant amount of money to any gentleman or person in respectable business who has the good sense and courage to ignore society's judgment and marry her. Letters can be sent to Mr. G. H. at the Cecil Street Coffee-House, and they will be given proper attention.

As this kind of arrangement has not yet fallen into desuetude, although the aid of advertisements is no longer invoked for it, we had better not give an opinion about its morality, though it is but fair to admit that if the system of selling soiled goods, of which the foregoing is an example,[230] had but been out of date, we should have been loud in our objections. For no vice is so bad as one that has exploded, and the weaknesses which we can regard with complacency while they are current, cause strong emotions of disgust when, their day being over, we look back upon them, and wonder how people could have been so extremely wicked. About the same time, and in the same paper, is another application of a peculiar nature, though in this instance the advertiser wishes not to part with, but to obtain a similar commodity to that advertised by G. H. This is it:—

Since this type of arrangement hasn't completely fallen out of favor yet, even though it no longer relies on advertisements, it's probably best if we hold off on judging its morality. However, it's only fair to acknowledge that if the practice of selling damaged goods, as mentioned earlier, had become outdated, we would have been vocal in our objections. No vice is worse than one that has come to light, and the weaknesses we might accept while they are still in fashion evoke strong feelings of disgust when we look back on them after their time has passed and wonder how people could have acted so unethically. Around the same time, and in the same publication, there’s another application of a similar nature, although in this case, the advertiser isn’t looking to sell but to acquire a similar item to what G. H. advertised. This is it:—

A SINGLE Gentleman of Fortune, who lives in a genteel private style, is desirous of meeting with an agreeable genteel young Lady, of from 20 to 30 years of age, not older, to superintend and take upon her the management of his House and Servants, for which she will be complimented with board, &c. As the situation will be quite genteel, it will not suit any but such who has had a liberal Education, and who has some independance of her own, so as to enable her always to appear very genteel, and as a relation or particular friend, in which character she will always be esteemed, and have every respect paid her, so as to render the situation and every thing else as agreeable as possible.

A SINGLE Gentleman of Fortune, who lives in a refined private manner, wants to meet a pleasant and refined young lady, ages 20 to 30, no older, to manage his home and staff, in exchange for room and board, etc. Since this position is quite refined, it will only suit someone who has received a good education and has some financial independence, allowing her to always present herself well, as a relative or close friend, in which role she will always be valued and treated with respect, making the position and everything else as enjoyable as possible.

Any lady inclining to the above, will please to direct with name and address, to M. H., Esq., to be left at No. 7, the Bookseller’s, in Great Newport Street, near St Martin’s Lane; she will be waited on, or wrote to, but with the greatest delicacy, and every degree of strict honour and secrecy.

Any woman interested in the above should please send her name and address to M. H., Esq., to be left at No. 7, the Bookseller’s, in Great Newport Street, near St Martin’s Lane; she will be contacted or visited, but with utmost care and complete respect for confidentiality.

Strict honour and secrecy seems to be an essential to the successful completion of the designs of many advertisers of this time, but they are to be all on one side, in company with an amount of blind credulity which would be wonderful if it were not repeatedly exhibited in modern days. Here is an honourable and secret venture which appears in the Morning Post of December 17, 1779, and which was doubtless very successful:—

Strict honor and secrecy seem to be essential for the successful completion of many advertisers' plans today, but it all appears one-sided, alongside a level of blind belief that would be astonishing if it weren't so frequently seen in modern times. Here is an honorable and secret venture that appeared in the Morning Post on December 17, 1779, and which was undoubtedly very successful

A GENTLEMAN who knows a Method which reduces it almost to a certainty to obtain a very considerable sum, by insuring of Numbers in the Lottery, is advised by his Friends to offer to communicate[231] it to those who wish to speculate in that Way. The advantage that is procured by proceeding according to his Principles and Directions, will be plainly demonstrated and made perfectly evident to any who chuses to be informed of it. The terms are Ten Guineas each person, and they must engage not to discover the plan for the space of eighteen months. If those who are willing to agree to the above terms will be pleased to address a line to J. R. C. at the Union Coffee-House, Cornhill, or the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, they will be immediately informed where to apply. Those who have lost money already (by laying it out improperly) insuring of Numbers, may soon be convinced how much it will be to their advantage to apply as above.

A Gentleman who knows a method that nearly guarantees obtaining a significant amount by insuring numbers in the lottery is encouraged by his friends to offer to share this with those interested in investing in that way. The benefits of following his principles and directions will be clearly shown and made obvious to anyone who wants to learn about it. The fee is ten guineas per person, and they must agree not to reveal the plan for eighteen months. Those interested in agreeing to these terms should send a message to J. R. C. at the Union Coffee-House, Cornhill, or the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and they will be promptly informed of where to apply. Those who have already lost money (by spending it poorly) on insuring numbers will soon realize how beneficial it would be to follow the steps outlined above.

N.B.—This advertisement will be inserted in this morning’s Paper only.

N.B.—This ad will only be included in this morning’s paper.

A suspicious person would have fancied that the friends of J. R. C., unless they were dissimilar from other friends, would have used the information for their own benefit—but generous and self-abnegating people do turn up in history in the most unexpected and unaccountable ways. Another specimen of the secret and honourable kind, though in it the secrecy and honour have to be on the side of the advertiser, follows. It is in the Morning Post, April 18, 1780, and runs thus:—

A suspicious person might think that J. R. C.'s friends, unless they were different from other friends, would have used the information for their own gain—but generous and selfless people do appear in history in the most surprising and unpredictable ways. Another example of the secret and honorable kind, although here the secrecy and honor must come from the advertiser, follows. It is in the Morning Post, April 18, 1780, and reads as follows:—

ANY Lady whose Situation may require a Temporary Retirement, may be accommodated agreeable to her wishes in the house of a Gentleman of eminence in the Profession, where honour and secrecy may be depended on, and where every vestige of Pregnancy is obliterated; or any Lady who wishes to become Pregnant may have the causes of sterility removed in the safest manner. Letters (Post-paid) addressed to A. B. No. 23, Fleet Street, will be attended to.

ANYC Lady who needs a short-term retreat can find accommodation according to her preferences at the home of a respected professional, where privacy and discretion are guaranteed, and every trace of Pregnancy can be erased; or any Lady wishing to conceive can have the issues causing sterility addressed safely. Please send letters (postage paid) to A. B. No. 23, Fleet Street, and they will be responded to.

A. B. offers a double convenience, the second item in which is well worthy of note. The house must have been somewhat similar, except that the accommodation was for human beings, to those establishments advertisements in connection with which frequently appear in the sporting and agricultural papers. Much about the same date as the specimen just quoted appears another of quite a different kind, inserted in several journals. It is rather unique as a way[232] of reminding customers that life is short and debt is long, and is suspiciously sartorial:—

A. B. provides a double benefit, with the second one being particularly noteworthy. The place must have been somewhat similar, except that the accommodations were for people, to those establishments advertised in the sporting and agricultural newspapers. Around the same time as the example just mentioned, there was another one of a completely different type, published in several journals. It’s quite unique in its approach[232] to reminding customers that life is short and debt lasts a long time, and it has a suspiciously trendy

To whom it may Concern.

To whom it may concern.

RICHARD Guy returns thanks to all his good old Friends for their kind Recommendation, which he will always acknowledge with gratitude, by being ready to oblige them on all occasions, but earnestly desires to settle Accounts, to pay and to be paid; which he hopes will be of satisfaction to both parties; for as it is fully observed, short Reckonings keep long Friends; so to preserve good friendship and prevent disputes in Accompts, he always pays ready Money, that is doing as he would be done unto.

RRICHARD Guy thanks all his good old friends for their kind recommendations, which he will always appreciate and repay by being ready to help them whenever they need it. However, he sincerely wants to settle accounts, to pay and be paid; he hopes this will be satisfying for both sides. As it’s often said, quick settlements keep friendships strong, so to maintain good relationships and avoid disputes over money, he always pays in cash, treating others the way he wants to be treated.

N.B.—He courts neither Honour nor Riches, his whole and sole motive being to serve his good old Friends; the sin of Ingratitude he utterly abhors.

N.B.—He seeks neither Honor nor Wealth, his only motivation being to serve his good old Friends; he completely detests the sin of Ingratitude.

The shameless manner in which sinecures in Government offices were bought and sold even so late as 1781 is shown by the following specimen advertisement, which is taken from the Morning Herald of September 22:—

The brazen way that government jobs were bought and sold as late as 1781 is illustrated by the following example advertisement, which is taken from the Morning Herald of September 22:—

A GENTLEMAN of Character who wishes for some Employ under Government merely for the sake of Amusement, would be willing to advance any Nobleman or Gentleman the sum of Three Thousand Pounds, upon Mortgage, upon legal Interest, provided the Mortgager will, thro’ his Interest, procure a place in any genteel Department, where the emoluments are not less than two or three hundred Pounds per annum. The Advertiser flatters himself this will not be deemed an ineligible Offer, if compared with the present mode of raising Money upon Annuities; as a gentleman must be obliged to grant five hundred per annum out of his income to raise the like Sum. If any Gentleman who may be inclined to answer this Advertisement does not know of any Vacancy, the Advertiser will point out several, which may be easily procured by interest. A line addressed to S. X. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, St Paul’s, will be attended to. Secrecy may be depended on. No Broker will be treated with.

A Gentleman of good standing who is looking for a government job just for fun would be willing to lend any nobleman or gentleman the amount of three thousand pounds, secured by a mortgage at a legal interest rate, as long as the borrower uses their connections to get a position in a respectable department, with a salary of at least two or three hundred pounds per annum. The advertiser believes this offer will seem attractive when compared to the current way of raising money through annuities, as a gentleman would have to give up five hundred per annum from their income to raise the same amount. If any gentleman interested in responding to this ad isn’t aware of any openings, the advertiser will suggest several that can easily be obtained through connections. A note addressed to S. X. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, St Paul’s, will be taken seriously. Confidentiality is assured. No brokers will be entertained.

Those were happy times, indeed, when no such vulgar thing as merit was allowed to interfere with a man’s upward progress in life, provided he possessed capital, which could always secure him good interest in more ways than one.[233] Money was at full value then, and the following, from the Morning Post of October 18, 1781, is one among many endeavours to obtain it in larger or smaller quantities:—

Those were truly happy times when something as crude as merit didn't get in the way of a man's rise in life, as long as he had money, which could always guarantee him a good return in various ways. [233] Money had real value back then, and the following, from the Morning Post on October 18, 1781, is just one of many attempts to acquire it in greater or smaller quantities:—

WANTED immediately, or as soon as can be met with, that invaluable acquisition (when once gained) A Sincere Friend, by a person who in the early part of his life had many; but who, from the all-powerful hand of Death and other fortuitous incidents, has been deprived of all those whom he could once call by that sacred Name, and to whom he could apply either for Counsel or Assistance. The author of this Advertisement is a Middle-aged man, in a genteel situation of Life, a Housekeeper, has a decent Income, but yet, is so circumstanced as to have a particular occasion for Fifty or Sixty Pounds, for a Year and a half or thereabouts. He wishes therefore to meet with a Person of liberal and generous Sentiments, who would assist him with the above trifling Sum. He flatters himself he can make the mode of payment quite agreeable to any Gentleman, Lady, or Tradesman of credit, who may be induced to answer this advertisement from a motive arising from the secret satisfaction there is in rendering a Service.—A line directed for S. E., and left at the Morning Post Office, will be immediately attended to.

WANTED immediately, or as soon as possible, that invaluable asset (once obtained) A Genuine Friend, by someone who, early in life, had many friends; but who, due to the inevitable hand of Death and other unplanned events, has lost all those he once held dear, and to whom he could seek advice or help. The person writing this Advertisement is a middle-aged man, in a respectable position in life, a housekeeper, with a decent income, but he finds himself in need of Fifty or sixty Pounds for about a year and a half. Therefore, he is looking for someone with generous and open-minded values who would lend him this modest amount. He is confident he can arrange a payment plan that would be satisfactory to any gentleman, lady, or reputable tradesperson who might respond to this ad out of the simple satisfaction that comes from helping someone. A note addressed to S. E., left at the Morning Post Office, will be promptly addressed.

In 1785 was established the Daily Universal Register, a paper which was, under a new title, adopted in 1788, to develop into the greatest and most powerful organ in the world. On the 1st of January, in the last-named year, the Register appeared with the following heading: The Times, or Daily Universal Register, printed Logographically. The price was threepence, and for many years the Times gave no promise of future greatness; but it was always fearless, and very early was fined, while its editor narrowly escaped imprisonment. In 1790 Mr Walter was actually incarcerated in Newgate, where he remained sixteen months, besides being fined £200, for a libel on the Dukes of York and Clarence. He was released eventually at the intercession of the Prince of Wales. The history of the Times has been told so often that particulars are hardly needed here; but as showing how its present eminence is due to nothing but perseverance and integrity, as well as the everpresent[234] desire to be first wherever possible, we quote the following from a short notice of the life of one of its proprietors: “It was under John Walter II., born in 1784, that the Times rose to the place of the first newspaper in the world. Whilst yet a youth, in 1803 he became joint proprietor and sole manager of the Times, and very soon his hand became manifest in the vigour and independence of its politics, and the freshness of its news. Free speech, however, had its penalties. The Times denounced the malpractices of Lord Melville, and the Government revenged itself by withdrawing from the Walters the office of printers to the Customs, which had been held by the family for eighteen years. During the war between Napoleon and Austria in 1805, the desire for news was intense. To thwart the Times the packets for Walter were stopped at the outports, while those for the ministerial journals were hurried to London. Complaint was made, and the reply was given that the editor might receive his foreign papers as a favour; meaning thereby that if the Government was gracious to the Times, the Times should be gracious to the Government; but Walter would accept no favour on such terms. Thrown on his own resources, he contrived, by means of superior activity and stratagem, to surpass the ministry in early intelligence of events. The capitulation of Flushing in August 1809, was announced by the Times two days before the news had arrived through any other channel. In the editorship of the paper he spared neither pains nor expense. The best writers were employed, and wherever a correspondent or a reporter displayed marked ability, he was carefully looked after and his faculty utilised. Correspondents were posted in every great city in the world, and well-qualified reporters were despatched to every scene of public interest. The debates in Parliament, law proceedings, public meetings, and commercial affairs, were all reported with a fulness and accuracy which filled readers with wonder. What a visionary could scarcely dare to ask, the Times gave. To other journals imitation alone was left. They might be more consistent politicians, but in the staple of a newspaper, to be nearly as good as the Times was their highest praise.”

In 1785, the Daily Universal Register was established, a paper that, under a new title adopted in 1788, would become the most influential and powerful publication in the world. On January 1 of that year, the Register was published with the new title: The Times, or Daily Universal Register, printed Logographically. It was priced at threepence, and for many years, the Times showed no signs of future success; however, it was always bold and was fined early on, with its editor narrowly escaping imprisonment. In 1790, Mr. Walter was actually imprisoned in Newgate for sixteen months and was fined £200 for libeling the Dukes of York and Clarence. He was eventually released at the request of the Prince of Wales. The Times has been discussed so frequently that details are hardly necessary here; but as an example of how its current prominence is due solely to perseverance and integrity, along with the constant desire to be first whenever possible, we quote the following from a brief biography of one of its owners: “It was under John Walter II., born in 1784, that the Times became the leading newspaper in the world. While still a young man, he became a joint owner and sole manager of the Times in 1803, and his influence was quickly evident in the vigor and independence of its politics and the freshness of its news. However, free speech came with its consequences. The Times criticized Lord Melville's wrongdoings, and the Government retaliated by revoking the Walters' position as printers to the Customs, a role the family had held for eighteen years. During the war between Napoleon and Austria in 1805, the demand for news was intense. To obstruct the Times, shipments for Walter were delayed at the outports, while those for the government-aligned papers were expedited to London. After a complaint was made, the response was that the editor might receive his foreign papers as a favor, implying that if the Government was gracious to the Times, the Times should be gracious to the Government; but Walter would not accept any favors on those terms. Relying on his own resources, he managed, through superior effort and clever tactics, to outpace the government in receiving timely news. For instance, the Times announced the capitulation of Flushing in August 1809 two days before any other source reported it. He spared no effort or expense in editing the paper. The best writers were hired, and whenever a correspondent or reporter demonstrated exceptional skill, he was carefully supported and his talents leveraged. Correspondents were stationed in every major city worldwide, and highly qualified reporters were sent to every scene of public interest. Parliamentary debates, legal proceedings, public meetings, and commercial activities were all reported with a level of detail and accuracy that amazed readers. What many would consider visionary, the Times delivered. Other journals were left only to imitate. They might be more consistent in their politics, but to be nearly as good as the Times was their highest praise.”

logo The Times

THE TIMES

THE TIMES

Numb. 940. (Price Three-pence.)

Numb. 940. (Price 3 pence.)

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1788.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1788.

Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.
By his MAJESTY’S COMPANY,
THIS EVENING,
Will be presented the Tragedy of
JULIA,
OR, THE ITALIAN LOVER.

Royal Theatre, Drury Lane.
By His MAJESTY’S COMPANY,
TONIGHT,
Will be presented the Tragedy of
JULIA,
OR, THE ITALIAN LOVER.

The principal Characters by
Mr. KEMBLE and Mrs. SIDDONS.
The Prologue to be spoken by Mr. Kemble;
And the Epilogue by Mrs. Siddons.
With New Dresses, Decorations, &c.
To which will be added
The DESERTER
Henry, Mr. KELLY, Skirmish, Mr. BANNISTER, jun.
And Louisa, by Mrs. CROUCH.

The main characters are played by
Mr. Kemble and Mrs. Siddons.
The prologue will be delivered by Mr. Kemble;
And the epilogue by Mrs. Siddons.
With new costumes, decorations, etc.
Additionally, there will be
The Defector
Henry, played by Mr. Kelly, Skirmish, played by Mr. Bannister, Jr.
And Louisa, played by Mrs. Crouch.

To-morrow (by Desire) The Wonder, with, the 6th time, Harlequin, Jun. On Thursday, the tragedy of Percy; Elwina, Mrs. Siddons.

To-morrow (by Desire) The Wonder, with the 6th time, Harlequin, Jr. On Thursday, the tragedy of Percy; Elwina, Mrs. Siddons.

BY COMMAND OF HIS MAJESTY,
And under the same DIRECTORS as the CONCERT
of ANTIENT MUSIC.

BY ORDER OF THE KING,
And under the same DIRECTORS as the CONCERT
of ANCIENT MUSIC.

THE Oratorios of SOLOMON, ALEXANDER’S FEAST, with the CHOICE OF HERCULES; JOSEPH; ACIS and GALATEA, with DRYDEN’S ODE; ESTHER; and MESSIAH, will be performed on the six FRIDAYS in LENT, at the CONCERT ROOM in TOTTENHAM STREET.

THE Oratorios of SOLOMON, ALEXANDER’S FEAST, with the CHOICE OF HERCULES; JOSEPH; ACIS and GALATEA, along with DRYDEN’S ODE; ESTHER; and MESSIAH, will be performed on the six FRIDAYS during LENT, at the CONCERT ROOM in TOTTENHAM STREET.

Subscriptions taken at Messrs. Longman and Broderip’s Music Shops in the Haymarket and Cheapside, and at Mr. Ashley’s, No. 4, Pimlico, at Three Guineas each, the Tickets NOT transferable.

Subscriptions can be purchased at Longman and Broderip's music stores in Haymarket and Cheapside, and at Mr. Ashley's, No. 4, Pimlico, for Three Guineas each. The tickets are NOT transferable.

ROYALTY THEATRE,
WELL STREET, NEAR GOODMAN’S FIELDS
THIS EVENING,
AN OCCASIONAL ADDRESS.
By MR. PALMER,
In the Character of Christmas.
A Musical Entertainment called
THOMAS and SUSAN; Or,
The GENEROUS TAR
For the 3rd time, a New Pantomimic Entertainment,
called
The DESERTER of NAPLES;
Or, ROYAL CLEMENCY.
Under the Direction of MR. DELPINI.
The Airs, Duets, and Choruses composed by Mr. REEVE.
The DESERTER by MR. PALMER.
The other Characters by
Mr. W Palmer, Mr. Cooper, Mr. L’Estrange, Mr. Hudson,
and Mr. DELPINI.
Mrs. Delpini, Madems. Bitthemer, and Mrs. GIBBS.
End of the First Part, a Grand Representation of
MOUNT VESUVIUS at the Time of the Eruption, with
the Flowing of the Lava.
The Dances by Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and Mad.
Constance; composed by M. MALTER.
A SONG by Master BRAHAM.
The Whole to conclude with (37th time) a new Pantomimic
Entertainment, called
HARLEQUIN. MUNGO;
OR, A PEEP INTO THE TOWER.
Harlequin, Mr. RAYNER, Jun.
Mungo Harlequin, Mr. BOURKE,
Pantaloon, Mr. FOLLETT, Sen.
Keeper of Wild Beasts and Warder of the Tower
(with a Chaunt), Mr. GRACE.
Captain, Sailor, and first waterman (with Songs),
Mr. ARROWSMITH.
Clown, Mr. FOLLETT, Jun.
Planter’s Wife, Mrs. BURNETT,
And, Columbine, Mrs. GIBBS.
In Part First a Dance of Slaves by Messrs. Hollands,
Bourke, Menage, &c.
To Conclude with a grand Ballet,
by Mons. Malter, Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and
Mademoiselle Constance.
Boxes, 5s; Pit, 3s; First Gall., 2s; Second Gall., 1s.

Royalty Theatre,
WELL STREET, NEAR GOODMAN’S FIELDS
THIS EVENING,
AN OCCASIONAL ADDRESS.
By MR. PALMER,
In the Character of Christmas.
A Musical Entertainment called
THOMAS and SUSAN; Or,
The GENEROUS TAR
For the 3rd time, a New Pantomime Entertainment,
called
The deserter from Naples;
Or, ROYAL CLEMENCY.
Under the Direction of MR. DELPINI.
The Music, Duets, and Choruses were composed by Mr. REEVE.
The DESERTER by MR. PALMER.
The other Characters by
Mr. W Palmer, Mr. Cooper, Mr. L’Estrange, Mr. Hudson,
and Mr. DELPINI.
Mrs. Delpini, Madems. Bitthemer, and Mrs. GIBBS.
End of the First Part, a Grand Representation of
MOUNT VESUVIUS at the Time of the Eruption, with
the Flowing of the Lava.
The Dances by Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and Mad.
Constance; composed by M. MALTER.
A SONG by Master BRAHAM.
The Whole to conclude with (37th time) a new Pantomime
Entertainment, called
HARLEQUIN. Mungo;
OR, A PEEP INTO THE TOWER.
Harlequin, Mr. RAYNER, Jun.
Mungo Harlequin, Mr. BOURKE,
Pantaloon, Mr. FOLLETT, Sen.
Keeper of Wild Beasts and Warder of the Tower
(with a Chant), Mr. GRACE.
Captain, Sailor, and first waterman (with Songs),
Mr. ARROWSMITH.
Clown, Mr. FOLLETT, Jun.
Planter’s Wife, Mrs. BURNETT,
And, Columbine, Mrs. GIBBS.
In Part First a Dance of Slaves by Messrs. Hollands,
Bourke, Menage, &c.
To Conclude with a grand Ballet,
by Mons. Malter, Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and
Mademoiselle Constance.
Boxes, 5s; Pit, 3s; First Gall., 2s; Second Gall., 1s.

Places for the Boxes to be taken of Mr. Clark, at the Stage Door of the Theatre.

Places for Mr. Clark's Boxes to be picked up at the Stage Door of the Theater.

The Doors to be opened for the future at half-past Five, and to begin precisely at half-past Six o’clock.

The doors will open for the future at 5:30, and we’ll start right at 6:30.

°⸸° No Money will be returned after the Curtain is drawn up, nor will any person be admitted behind the scenes. Vivant Rex & Regina.

°⸸° No money will be refunded after the curtain goes up, and no one will be allowed behind the scenes. Long live the King and Queen.

N.B. Nothing under . . . . will be taken.

N.B. Nothing under ... will be accepted.

TO BE LETT, OR SOLD.

FOR RENT OR SALE.

EXTENSIVE Premises in the Neighbourhood of Cheapside.

EEXTENSIVE Premises in the Neighborhood of Cheapside.

Apply at No. 9, Cheapside.

Apply at 9 Cheapside.

A CAUTION to prevent IMPOSITION.
SHARP’S CONCAVE RAZORS

A WARNING to prevent IMPOSITION.
SHARP'S CONCAVE RAZORS

Are made of the very best steel that can be possibly procured in this or any other country, tempered, and finished with the greatest nicety and circumspection. Their superior excellence above all others has made then more esteemed than any Razor now in use; the consequence of which is that some persons have offered, and still do offer, an inferior article under their name.

Are made of the highest quality steel available in this or any other country, carefully tempered and polished with great precision and attention to detail. Their exceptional quality sets them apart from all others, making them more valued than any razor currently in use; as a result, some people have produced, and continue to produce, a lower-quality product using their name.

C. SHARP, Perfumer and Razor Maker to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, at No. 131, Fleet Street, and No. 57, Cornhill,

C. SHARP, Perfumer and Razor Maker to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, at No. 131, Fleet Street, and No. 57, Cornhill,

Most respectfully intreats the public to observe that his Concave Razors are not sold at any other places in London, but at his shops as above, Sharp stamped on the blade of the Razors; all others are counterfeit.

Most respectfully asks the public to notice that his Concave Razors are only sold at his shops listed above, with "Sharp" stamped on the blade of the Razors; all others are fakes.

Sharp’s Metallic Razor Strops, which keep the Razor to good order, without the use of a Hone or grinding, are not to be equalled; but the above articles are too well esteemed to need anything being said in their behalf. His Alpine Soap, for shaving, is by far the best adapted for that purpose of any yet invented; it never causes the least smarting sensation, but is perfectly soft, sweet, and pleasing. Likewise his curious Cyprian Wash balls, great variety of shaving cases and pouches, that hold all the implements necessary for shaving, dressing, &c.

Sharp’s Metallic Razor Strops, which keep the Razor in great condition without needing a hone or grinding, are unmatched; but the mentioned items are so well-regarded that they don't require any further endorsement. His Alpine Soap for shaving is by far the best for that purpose of anything created so far; it never causes any stinging sensation and is completely gentle, pleasant, and enjoyable. Additionally, his unique Cyprian Wash balls and a wide range of shaving cases and pouches that hold all the necessary tools for shaving, grooming, etc.

Sharp’s sweet hard and soft pomatums, are remarkable for keeping good in any climate longer than any other. His Lavender Water, drawn from the flowers, his warranted Tooth brushes and the Prince of Wales Tooth Powder, are articles worthy the attention of the public.

Sharp’s sweet hard and soft pomades are exceptional for lasting longer in any climate than any others. His lavender water, made from the flowers, his guaranteed toothbrushes, and the Prince of Wales tooth powder are products that deserve the public's attention.

Combs, Soaps, Wash balls, and every article in the Perfumery branch, wholesale, retail, and for exportation.

Combs, soaps, wash balls, and every item in the perfumery category, available for wholesale, retail, and export.

N.B. Families, &c., who take any of Sharp’s articles by the dozen save considerably.

N.B. Families, etc., who buy any of Sharp's items by the dozen save a lot.

A complete Dressing case fitted up with razor, combs &c., for 10s. 6d.

A full grooming kit equipped with a razor, combs, etc., for £10.50.

KING’S THEATRE, Haymarket.

KING'S THEATRE, Haymarket.

By PARTICULAR DESIRE, on Thursday next, January 3rd, 1788,
WILL BE PRESENTED THE SERIO COMIC OPERA called
IL RE THEODORO in VENEZIA.
OR, THEODORE KING OF CORSICA AT VENICE.

By Special request, on Thursday, January 3rd, 1788,
The comic opera titled
KING THEODORO in VENICE.
OR, THEODORE, KING OF CORSICA, IN VENICE.

The Principal Characters by
Sig. MORELLI, Sig. MORIGI,
Sig. BALELI, Sig. CALVESI,
And Sig. FINESCHI,
Signora SESTINI, and Signora STORACE.

The Main Characters by
Mr. MORELLI, Mr. MORIGI,
Mr. BALELI, Mr. CALVESI,
And Mr. FINESCHI,
Mrs. SESTINI, and Mrs. STORACE.

The Music composed, in his best style, by the celebrated
Mr. PAESIELO.

The music created in his finest style by the famous
Mr. PAESIELO.

Under the Direction of
Sig. MAZZINGHI;

Under the Direction of
Sig. MAZZINGHI;

And Leader of the Orchestra, Mr. CRAMER.

And the leader of the orchestra, Mr. Cramer.

Painter and Mechanist, Sig. GAETANO MARINARI.
Inventor & Maker of the Dresses, Sig. LUPINO.

Painter and Mechanic, Sig. GAETANO MARINARI.
Inventor & Creator of the Dresses, Sig. LUPINO.

The doors to be opened at Six and to begin precisely at
Half-past Seven o’clock.

The doors will open at 6:00 PM and the event will start exactly at 7:30 PM.

Pit, 10s. 6d. First Gallery, 5s. Upper Gallery, 3s.

Pit, £10.60. First Gallery, £5.00. Upper Gallery, £3.00.

Tickets to be had and Subscriptions paid as usual, at Messrs. Ransome, Moreland, and Hammersley’s, Bankers, No. 57, Pall Mall.

Tickets are available and subscriptions can be paid as usual at Messrs. Ransome, Moreland, and Hammersley’s, Bankers, No. 57, Pall Mall.

End of Act I., A NEW DIVERTISEMENT, composed
by Mons. CHEVALIER, and performed by
Mons. VESTRIS, Mons. COULON,
And Mons. CHEVALIER;
The Two Miss SIMONETS, Signora REDINI,
And Mad. COULON.

End of Act I., A NEW DIVERTISEMENT, composed
by Mr. CHEVALIER, and performed by
Mr. VESTRIS, Mr. COULON,
And Mr. CHEVALIER;
The Two Miss SIMONETS, Ms. REDINI,
And Mrs. COULON.

End of the Opera, a new BALLET, composed by
Mons. NOVERRE, called
LES OFFRANDES A L’AMOUR,
And Performed by
Mons. VESTRIS, Mons. COULON,
And Mons. DIDELOT,
Miss HELLESBERG, Mad. VEDIE,
The other Characters by
Messrs. SAUNLIER, COULON, HENRY, SALA,
Mademoiselles GRENIERS, &c. &c.,
And MEZUKES.

End of the Opera, a new BALLET, composed by
Mons. NOVERRE, titled
OFFERINGS TO LOVE,
And Performed by
Mons. VESTRIS, Mons. COULON,
And Mons. DIDELOT,
Miss HELLESBERG, Mad. VEDIE,
The other Characters portrayed by
Messrs. SAUNLIER, COULON, HENRY, SALA,
Mademoiselles GRENIERS, & etc., & etc.,
And MEZUKES.

N.B. For the Better accommodation of the Subscribers, the office is removed back to Union Court, Haymarket.

N.B. For the better convenience of the subscribers, the office has been moved back to Union Court, Haymarket.

The Nobility and Gentry are requested to take notice that the first Masque Ball will be given at this place on Monday, the 4th of February, 1788.

The Nobility and Gentry are invited to note that the first Masque Ball will be held here on Monday, February 4th, 1788.

NEW MUSIC.

NEW MUSIC.

This day is Published,
By LONGMAN and BRODERIP,
Musicsellers and Musical Instrument Makers to his Royal
Highness the PRINCE of WALES
No. 26, Cheapside, and No. 13, Haymarket.

This day is Published,
By LONGMAN and BRODERIP,
Music sellers and Musical Instrument Makers to his Royal
Highness the PRINCE of WALES
No. 26, Cheapside, and No. 13, Haymarket.

Authors. £. s. d.
J. Haydn. THREE SYMPHONIES for a grand Orchestra, dedicated to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. Op. 5 0 10 6
Ditto. A set of QUARTETTS for two Violins, Tenor and Violoncello, expressive of the Passion of our Saviour. Op. 48 0 8 0
Mozart. Two SYMPHONIES for a Grand Orchestra. Op. 5 and 9, each 0 6 0
Ditto. Six QUARTETTS, dedicated to Mr. Haydn. Op. 1 0 15 0
Ditto. QUARTETT for the Harpsichord 0 3 0
Storace. CARE DONNE CHE BRAMATE, sung by Signora Storace in Il Re Theodore in Venezia 0 2 6
Pleyel. Two SONATAS for the Harpsichord, with an accompaniment for a Violin. Op. 7 0 4 0
Ditto. TRIOS for a Violin, Tenor, and Violoncello. Op. 11 0 6 0
Gìordano. Three GRAND DUETS for the Harpsichord, from the works of Haydn 0 7 6
Chalon. THREE DUETS for the Harpsichord. Op. 7 0 7 6
Barthelemon. COMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS for the Pedal Harp, with Airs, Arpegias, and Sonatas, and an easy method for tuning 0 10 6
Percy. Six ITALIAN ARIETTAS in the Venetian style, for the voice and Piano Forte. Op. 5 0 5 0
Starkel. Three SONATAS for the Harpsichord, with Accompaniments. Op. 22 0 7 6
Millico. A Fourth set of Six ITALIAN CANZONETS, dedicated to Lady Louisa Hervey 0 5 0
Bishop. Six MINUETS and Twelve COUNTRY DANCES for the year 1788 0 2 6
Jones. Dittosame hereditto 0 2 6
Shield. The FARMER. A comic opera, for the Voice and Harpsichord 0 6 0

NEW MUSIC.

NEW MUSIC!

This Day are Published,
By J. BLAND, No. 45, Holborn,

This day we publish,
By J. BLAND, No. 45, Holborn,

THE SONGS in Robin Hood, of “Charming Clorinda,” and “When generous Wine,” sung by Mr. Bowden, 1s. each. “When ruddy Aurora,” and “The Trump of Fame,” each 6d. “Aurora,” a ballad, 1s. He vowed to love me, Goodwin cantata; O, thou wert born to please me, a duet; Ye woods and ye mountains, an elegy; each 6d. Bland’s 13th and 14th Ladies’ Glees, each, 1s. 6d. Ditto, first vol. of ditto, bound, 18s. Periodical Ital.; song No. 35, 2s. 6d.; ditto, No. 36, 2s. 6d. Pleyel’s Sonatas, composed for the Harpsichord. Op. 7, 4s. C. I. T. L. Sonatinas, dedicated to Dr. Burney, 5s. Mozart’s Terzette, 2s. 6d. Bland’s Harpsichord Collection, Nos. 1 to 6, each, 5s. Hoffmeister’s Duetts, violin and violoncello, Op. 6 & 13, 4s. Ditto, Flute Trios 6s. Ditto, Flute Quartets, 10s. 6d. And a variety of new publications.

THE SONGS in Robin Hood, of “Charming Clorinda,” and “When Generous Wine,” sung by Mr. Bowden, £1 each. “When Ruddy Aurora,” and “The Trump of Fame,” each 6d. “Aurora,” a ballad, £1. He vowed to love me, Goodwin cantata; O, you were born to please me, a duet; Ye Woods and Ye Mountains, an elegy; each 6d. Bland’s 13th and 14th Ladies’ Glees, each, £1.50. Also, first volume of the same, bound, £18. Periodical Ital.; song No. 35, £2.50; ditto, No. 36, £2.50. Pleyel’s Sonatas, composed for the Harpsichord, Op. 7, £4. C. I. T. L. Sonatinas, dedicated to Dr. Burney, £5. Mozart’s Terzette, £2.50. Bland’s Harpsichord Collection, Nos. 1 to 6, each, £5. Hoffmeister’s Duets, violin and cello, Op. 6 & 13, £4. Same for Flute Trios £6. Same for Flute Quartets, £10.50. And a variety of new publications.

OIL AND LAMP WAREHOUSE.

Oil and Lamp Store.

No. 5, New Street, Covent Garden.

No. 5, New Street, Covent Garden.

GEORGE DOWNING, Oil Merchant, proprietor of the above Warehouse, begs leave to offer the most proper tender of his grateful acknowledgments to the Nobility, Gentry, and public in general, for the repeated favours conferred upon him. He respectfully informs his friends, that the OIL and LAMP TRADE continues to be transacted upon the same liberal terms that first recommended him to their particular attention.

GEORGE DOWNING, Oil Merchant, owner of the above Warehouse, would like to express his heartfelt thanks to the Nobility, Gentry, and the public for their continued support. He respectfully informs his friends that the OIL and LAMP TRADE is still being conducted on the same generous terms that initially caught their attention.

N.B. Orders for Town or Country executed with punctuality.

N.B. Orders for Town or Country completed on time.

New Street, Covent Garden, Jan. 1, 1788.

New Street, Covent Garden, Jan. 1, 1788.

CALEDONIAN MACABAU SNUFF.

CALEDONIAN MACABAU SNUFF.

JOHN YOUNG, Manufacturer and Vendor of the Hibernian high dried or Lundy Foot’s Snuff, presents his respects to the Nobility, Gentry, &c., with his Caledonian Macabau Snuff, which upon trial he is convinced will be found deserving the estimation his Irish Snuff has so justly acquired. Orders sent to his Snuff-Manufactory, No. 73 in Drury Lane, near Russell Court, will be attended to with the highest respect and gratitude.

JOHN YOUNG, Producer and Supplier of the Hibernian high dried or Lundy Foot’s Snuff, sends his regards to the Nobility, Gentry, etc., with his Caledonian Macabau Snuff, which he is confident will be found deserving of the reputation that his Irish Snuff has rightfully gained. Orders sent to his Snuff-Manufactory, No. 73 in Drury Lane, near Russell Court, will be handled with the utmost respect and appreciation.

N.B. Snuffs and Tobacco in the highest perfection.

N.B. Snuffs and tobacco at their finest.

STATIONARY.

NOT MOVING.

ADAM THOMPSON, at his paper Manufacturers’ Warehouse, Hand Court, Upper Thames Street, begs leave to return to his friends sincere thanks for all past favours, and as he is now well stocked with a general and choice assortment of Writing and Printing, Wrapping, Sugar, and Blue Papers, summer made, shall be happy to receive their further orders, which shall be duly attended to on the most moderate terms. Notes and Bills taken in Payment at one, two, and three months.

ADamn THOMPSON, at his paper Manufacturers’ Warehouse, Hand Court, Upper Thames Street, would like to sincerely thank his friends for all their past support. He is now well-stocked with a wide and carefully selected variety of Writing and Printing, Wrapping, Sugar, and Blue Papers, made for summer, and he will be happy to receive their additional orders, which will be promptly fulfilled at the most reasonable prices. Notes and bills will be accepted for payment at one, two, and three months.

N.B. Has also about fifty reams French Mezzotinto Bay to be sold 20 per cent. below current price.

N.B. There are also about fifty reams of French Mezzotinto Bay available for sale at 20% below the current price.

NEW MUSIC.

NEW MUSIC.

This Day is Published,

This Day is Released,

By LONGMAN and BRODERIP, No. 26, Cheapside; No. 13, Haymarket, and at their Manufactory in Tottenham Court Road,

By LONGMAN and BRODERIP, 26 Cheapside; 13 Haymarket, and at their factory in Tottenham Court Road,

MUSICAL INSTRUMENT MAKERS AND SELLERS TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES,

MUSICAL INSTRUMENT MAKERS AND SELLERS TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES,

The New Comic Opera, now performing at Covent Garden Theatre, with great applause, called The Farmer, composed and compiled by Mr. Shield, 6s. Pleyel’s two Grand Sonatas Op. 7, for the Piano Forte, 4s. Pleyel’s three Trio Concertante, Op. 11, for a Violin Tenor and Violoncello, 6s. Percy’s Italian Arietta Op. 5th, 5s. Mozart’s Harpsichord Quartett, 2s. 6d. Complete Instructions for Pedal Harp, with a Selection of Favourite Songs and Sonatas by Mr. Barthelemon, 10s. 6d. Stocket’s three Sonatas, Op. 22, with accompaniments, 7s. 6d. Thomas and Susan; or, The Fortunate Tar, performed at the Royalty Theatre, 3s. 6d. Chalon’s three Duets for the Pianoforte, Op. 7th, 7s. 6d. Mozart’s Airs, with Variations, for the Pianoforte, each 2s. Breval’s easy Solos for the Violoncello, Op. 28, 7s. 6d. Clementi’s Sonata, Op. 10, 3s. Lately imported from the Continent, great variety of Harp Music, by the most Eminent Masters; together with the most distinguished New Works of the following Authors, consisting of Symphonies, Concertas, Quartetts, Trios, Duetts, Solos, and Harpsichord Sonatas by Haydn, Pleyel, Kozeluch, Mozart, Breval, Trickler, Todor, Devienne, Vanhal, Starkel, Viotti, &c. Also the Overture and Songs of Tarare, and select collections of the most favourite songs from the latest French Operas, for the Harpsichord.—Where may be seen their new-improved grand & small Piano Fortes, and Mr. Corri’s new invented Harpsichord Desk, with a Dictionary of Musical Terms, Examples, &c. Also his newly invented Piano Forte Board, with a Dictionary, &c. Each One Guinea.

The New Comic Opera, currently playing at Covent Garden Theatre to great acclaim, is called The Farmer, composed and compiled by Mr. Shield, priced at 6s. Pleyel’s two Grand Sonatas Op. 7 for the Piano Forte are 4s. Pleyel’s three Trio Concertante, Op. 11, for Violin, Tenor, and Violoncello are 6s. Percy’s Italian Arietta Op. 5 is 5s. Mozart’s Harpsichord Quartett costs 2s. 6d. Complete Instructions for Pedal Harp, accompanied by a selection of favorite songs and sonatas by Mr. Barthelemon, are available for 10s. 6d. Stocket’s three Sonatas, Op. 22, with accompaniments, are priced at 7s. 6d. Thomas and Susan; or, The Fortunate Tar, performed at the Royalty Theatre, costs 3s. 6d. Chalon’s three Duets for the Pianoforte, Op. 7, are 7s. 6d. Mozart’s Airs, with Variations, for the Pianoforte are each 2s. Breval’s easy Solos for the Violoncello, Op. 28, are 7s. 6d. Clementi’s Sonata, Op. 10, is 3s. Recently imported from the Continent, there’s a wide variety of Harp Music by the most eminent composers, along with distinguished new works from the following authors, including Symphonies, Concertos, Quartets, Trios, Duets, Solos, and Harpsichord Sonatas by Haydn, Pleyel, Kozeluch, Mozart, Breval, Trickler, Todor, Devienne, Vanhal, Starkel, Viotti, etc. Additionally, the Overture and Songs of Tarare and select collections of the most popular songs from the latest French Operas for the Harpsichord are available. Also, you can view their newly improved grand and small Piano Fortes, and Mr. Corri’s newly invented Harpsichord Desk, complete with a Dictionary of Musical Terms, Examples, etc. His newly invented Piano Forte Board, along with a Dictionary, etc., are each priced at One Guinea.

THE OPERA FANS.

THE OPERA ENTHUSIASTS.

To the Subscribers and Frequenters of the
KING’S THEATRE.

To the Subscribers and Regular Visitors of the
KING’S THEATRE.

Last Saturday were published, according to Act of Parliament.

Last Saturday, it was published, according to Act of Parliament.

THE Delivery, however, was put off till the Re-opening of the Opera House next week, for the purpose of presenting them in the best state of improvement.

THE Delivery, however, was delayed until the re-opening of the Opera House next week, to showcase them in the best possible condition.

These FANS, calculated to present at one view both the number of boxes, including the additional ones, names of Subscribers, &c., have been carefully compared, with the plan of the House as kept at the Office, and will be sold only by the Proprietor,

These FANS are designed to show at a glance both the number of boxes, including the extra ones, the names of Subscribers, etc. They have been thoroughly checked against the House plan maintained at the Office and will only be sold by the Proprietor,

Mrs. H. M., No. 81, Haymarket,

Mrs. H. M., No. 81, Haymarket,

Where she will receive with respectful gratitude any commands from the ladies, and wait on them if required.

Where she will graciously accept any requests from the ladies and assist them if needed.

HANDEL’S SUBSCRIPTION

HANDEL'S SUBSCRIPTION

Dedicated by Permission to His MAJESTY

Dedicated by permission to His Majesty

This day is published,

This day is released,

THE ELEVENTH NUMBER OF HANDEL’S WORKS. The four First Numbers comprehending the completest Score of the Oratorio of Athalia, the four following the whole of Theodora, and the remainder a large portion of the Messiah. The elegant Apotheosis of Handel will be delivered to Subscribers only with the Twelfth Number.

THE ELEVENTH NUMBER OF HANDEL’S WORKS. The first four numbers include the complete score of the Oratorio of Athalia, the next four cover the entirety of Theodora, and the rest contain a significant portion of the Messiah. The elegant Apotheosis of Handel will be given to subscribers only with the Twelfth Number.

Subscriptions are received by Dr. Arnold, No 480, Strand; Messrs. Longman and Broderip, No. 13, Haymarket; and Birchall and Co., New Bond Street.

Subscriptions are received by Dr. Arnold, No. 480, Strand; Messrs. Longman and Broderip, No. 13, Haymarket; and Birchall and Co., New Bond Street.

This day is Published,
Price 2s. 6d. separately, or 4s. together,

This issue is out today,
Price £2.50 separately, or £4 together,

AN ABRIDGMENT of the MEMORIAL
Address to the KING OF FRANCE,

AN ABRIDGMENT of the MEMORIAL
Address to the KING OF FRANCE,

By M. DE CALONNE,
Minister of State.
In FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
Translated from the French by W. WALTER

By M. DE CALONNE,
Minister of State.
In FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
Translated from the French by W. WALTER

Printed at the Logographic Press, by J. Walter, Printing House Square, Blackfriars; and sold by Messrs. Robson and Clarke, and T. Hookham, New Bond Street; P. Elmsley, Strand; Messrs. Egeron, Charing Cross; and W. Richardson, Royal Exchange.

Printed at the Logographic Press, by J. Walter, Printing House Square, Blackfriars; and sold by Messrs. Robson and Clarke, and T. Hookham, New Bond Street; P. Elmsley, Strand; Messrs. Egeron, Charing Cross; and W. Richardson, Royal Exchange.

This day is Published,
Price One Shilling,

This issue is released,
Price One Shilling,

CRAZY KATE A

CRAZY KATE A

favourite Ballad,
Taken from Cowper’s Task.
Set to Music, with accompaniments,
By JOHN MOULDS.
THE FEAST OF APOLLO, No. IV.,
Price One Shilling,
Containing a Favourite Overture for the Piano Forte
“Sans Vous, Ma Chère,” a Favourite Song
“The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,” ditto
London: Printed for G. Goulding, Haydn’s Head,
No. 6, James Street, Covent Garden,
Where may be had
LA FEVRE,
Taken from SIERNE.
A Favourite SONG, set to Music by HAYDN,
Price only Sixpence.
“The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,”
A Favourite SONG, set to Music, with Accompaniments,
by RELFE, Price One Shilling.
SANS VOUS, MA CHERE,
A Favourite SONG, sung by Mr. INCLEDON at Bath,
Composed by MOULDS, Price Sixpence.

favorite Ballad,
Taken from Cowper’s Task.
Set to Music, with accompaniments,
By JOHN MOULDS.
THE FEAST OF APOLLO, No. IV.,
Price One Shilling,
Containing a Favorite Overture for the Piano Forte
“Sans Vous, Ma Chère,” a Favorite Song
“The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,” ditto
London: Printed for G. Goulding, Haydn’s Head,
No. 6, James Street, Covent Garden,
Where you can find
LA FEVRE,
Taken from SIERNE.
A Favorite SONG, set to Music by HAYDN,
Price only Sixpence.
“The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,”
A Favorite SONG, set to Music, with Accompaniments,
by RELFE, Price One Shilling.
SANS VOUS, MA CHERE,
A Favorite SONG, sung by Mr. INCLEDON at Bath,
Composed by MOULDS, Price Sixpence.

Theatre Royal, Covent Garden.
THIS EVENING
Will be presented the revived Tragedy of
The ROMAN FATHER.

Royal Opera House, Covent Garden.
TONIGHT
The classic tragedy of
The Roman Dad.

Horatius, Mr. Farren: Tullius Hostilius, Mr. Aickin;
Valerius, Mr. Davis; and Publius, Mr. Pope. Valeria,
Mrs. Merton; and Horatia, Miss Bruton.
In Act V will be introduced a Roman Oration,
To which will be added (6th time) a new Pantomime,
called
The DUMB CAKE;
Or, the REGIONS OF FANCY.
With new Music, Scenery, Dresses, Machinery, and
Decorations.
N.B. Nothing under full price will be taken.

Horatius, Mr. Farren: Tullius Hostilius, Mr. Aickin;
Valerius, Mr. Davis; and Publius, Mr. Pope. Valeria,
Mrs. Merton; and Horatia, Miss Bruton.
In Act V, there will be a Roman Oration,
followed by (for the 6th time) a new Pantomime,
called
The Dumb Cake;
Or, the REGIONS OF FANCY.
With new Music, Scenery, Costumes, Machinery, and
Decorations.
N.B. Nothing below full price will be accepted.

To-morrow (not acted this season), The Suspicious Husband. Ranger, Mr. LEWIS; and Clarinda, Mrs. Abingdon.

Tomorrow (not performed this season), The Suspicious Husband. Ranger, Mr. Lewis; and Clarinda, Mrs. Abingdon.

PROPAGATION OF A LIE.

SPREADING A LIE.

W. DICKINSON, Bond Street, has this day published a Print, from an original Drawing by H. Bunbury, Esq., representing the Propagation of a Lie, being a companion to the much admired prints of the Long Minuet.

W. DICKINSON, Bond Street, has released a print today based on an original drawing by H. Bunbury, Esq., depicting the Spread of a Lie, which is a companion piece to the highly acclaimed prints of the Long Minuet.

Likewise just published,
An Academy for Grown Horsemen; containing the completest
instructions for

Likewise just published,
An Academy for Adult Horsemen; containing the most complete
instructions for

  • Walking,
  • Trotting,
  • Cantering,
  • Galloping,
  • Stumbling, and
  • Tumbling

Illustrated with Copperplates, and adorned with a Portrait of the Author, by Geoffry Cambado, Esq., Riding Master, Master of the Horse, Grand Equerry to the Doge of Venice.

Illustrated with copper plates and featuring a portrait of the author, Geoffry Cambado, Esq., Riding Master, Master of the Horse, Grand Equerry to the Doge of Venice.

Where likewise is published all Mr Bunbury’s elegant and caricature Prints.

Where you can also find all of Mr. Bunbury’s elegant and caricature prints.

FESTIVAL OF ANACREON.

ANACREON FESTIVAL.

This Day is Published, Price 3s. 6d,
A New Edition of

This day we're releasing a new edition priced at £3.50,

THE FESTIVAL OF ANACREON, containing the Songs of Capt. Morris, Mr. Hewerdine, and other Lyric Writers, as sung at the Anacreons Society, the Beefsteak and Humbug Clubs.

THE FESTIVAL OF ANACREON, featuring the songs of Capt. Morris, Mr. Hewerdine, and other lyric writers, as performed at the Anacreon Society, the Beefsteak and Humbug Clubs.

Published by William Holland, No. 50, Oxford Street, near Berners Street, removed from No. 66, Drury Lane.

Published by William Holland, 50 Oxford Street, near Berners Street, relocated from 66 Drury Lane.

Of whom may be had, just published,

Of whom may be obtained, just published,

A Portrait of Kitty Cut-a-Dash; a Dilly setting out from King’s Place with a Guard; History of Modern Flagellants, in seven distinct works, each of which may be had separate. Comtesse de Barre’s Whim; The Pretty Nursery Maid; My Aunt; Hal’s Looking Glass; and a large collection of Books, Pamphlets, Paintings, Drawings, and Prints for the Cabinets of the Moralist, the Politician, and the Bon Vivant.

A Portrait of Kitty Cut-a-Dash; a Dilly leaving King's Place with a Guard; History of Modern Flagellants, in seven different works, each available separately. Comtesse de Barre’s Whim; The Pretty Nursery Maid; My Aunt; Hal’s Looking Glass; and a large collection of books, pamphlets, paintings, drawings, and prints for the collections of the Moralist, the Politician, and the Bon Vivant.

Pæans of Pleasure and Memoirs of Kitty Cut-a-Dash will be speedily published.

I will await your text to modernize it. Pæans of Pleasure and Memoirs of Kitty Cut-a-Dash will be published soon.

This day published,
Price Six Shillings, in Boards,

This day published,
Price Six Shillings, in Boards,

MEDICAL COMMENTARIES for the Year 1787, exhibiting a concise view of the latest and most important Discoveries in Medicine and Medical Philosophy, Collected and Published by

MMEDICAL COMMENTARIES for the Year 1787, showcasing a brief overview of the latest and most significant discoveries in medicine and medical philosophy, collected and published by

ANDREW DUNCAN, M.D.F.R. & A.S. Edin., &c.
Decade Second, Volume Second

ANDREW DUNCAN, M.D.F.R. & A.S. Edin., &c.
Second Decade, Second Volume

Printed for C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co., opposite Somerset
Place, Strand, London; and C. Elliot, Edinburgh.
Of whom may be had,

Printed for C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co., opposite Somerset
Place, Strand, London; and C. Elliot, Edinburgh.
From whom you can get,

Complete SETS of DECADE FIRST, from 1773 to 1785 inclusive. Ten vols. 8vo., price 3l. in boards, and 3l. 10s. bound.

Complete SETS of DECADE FIRST, from 1773 to 1785 inclusive. Ten vols. 8vo., price £3 in boards, and £3.10s. bound.

Also, Vol. 8, for 1781-2, Vol. 9, for 1783-4; Vol. 10, for 1785; and Vol. 1, Decade II. for 1786, at Six Shillings each, in boards.

Also, Vol. 8, for 1781-2, Vol. 9, for 1783-4; Vol. 10, for 1785; and Vol. 1, Decade II. for 1786, at Six Shillings each, in boards.

N.B. As above may be had gratis, C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co.’s Catalogue of Books, in all the different branches of Medicine, for 1788, with the lowest prices affixed.

N.B. As mentioned above, you can get C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co.’s Catalogue of Books, covering all areas of Medicine for 1788, for free, including the lowest prices listed.

This day are Published,
Printed in One Volume, octavo, on a superfine medium
paper, price 6s., in Boards,

This day are Published,
Printed in one volume, octavo, on high-quality medium
paper, priced at £6, in boards,

I.

I.

FAMILIAR and FRIENDLY CORRESPONDENCE of FREDERICK THE SECOND, KING OF PRUSSIA, with U. F. DE SUHM, Counsellor to the Elector of Saxony.

FFamiliar and FRIENDLY CORRESPONDENCE of FREDERICK THE SECOND, KING OF PRUSSIA, with U. F. DE SUHM, Counsellor to the Elector of Saxony.

II.

II.

Handsomely printed, in 2 vols., large octavo, on a superfine medium paper, price 12s. in Boards,

Handsomely printed, in 2 volumes, large octavo, on high-quality medium paper, priced at £12 in Boards,

A SELECTION from the WORKS of FRANCIS LORD BACON, Viscount St. Alban, consisting of his ESSAYS on Civil, Moral, Literary, and Political Subjects; the Advancement of Learning, System of Moral Philosophy, Theology, &c., and his celebrated History of Life and Death, together with his own Life, by Dr. WILLYMOTT.

A SELECTION from the WORKS of FRANCIS LORD BACON, Viscount St. Alban, featuring his ESSAYS on Civil, Moral, Literary, and Political Topics; the Advancement of Learning, System of Moral Philosophy, Theology, etc., and his famous History of Life and Death, along with his own Life, by Dr. WILLYMOTT.

III.

III.

In 2 vols., 8vo, on a Superfine Medium Paper, Price 12s.
in Boards, illustrated with Copperplates,
A new and elegant Edition of

In 2 volumes, 8vo, on high-quality medium paper, Price £12.
in Boards, illustrated with engravings,
A new and stylish edition of

DR. DERHAM’S PHYSICO and ASTRO THEOLOGY; the first contains a Demonstration of the Being and the Attributes of God from his Works of the Creation; the second, a General Survey of the Heavens, with considerable notes and many curious Observations.

DR. DERHAM’S PHYSICO and ASTRO THEOLOGY; the first provides a demonstration of the existence and attributes of God based on his works of creation; the second offers a broad overview of the heavens, along with detailed notes and many interesting observations.

IV.

IV.

In Three Volumes, Price 9s. sewed,
The MINIATURE PICTURES,
OR,
PLATONIC MARRIAGE
A New Novel,
By MRS. CARTWRIGHT

In Three Volumes, Price 9s. sewed,
The SMALL IMAGES,
OR,
PLATONIC MARRIAGE
A New Book,
By MRS. CARTWRIGHT

This Lady displays throughout the work a perfect knowledge of the human passions, and the characters are portrayed in the most chaste and elegant language.

This lady shows throughout the work a complete understanding of human emotions, and the characters are depicted in the most refined and graceful language.

V.

V.

Elegantly printed, in a small pocket volume, on superfine
Writing Paper, Price 2s. 6d. sewed in Marble Paper,
A New Edition, being the third, of

Elegantly printed in a small pocket-sized book on high-quality writing paper, priced at 2s. 6d. and bound in marble paper, a new edition, being the third, of

LETTERS which passed between an ILLUSTRIOUS PERSONAGE and a LADY OF HONOUR at Brighton.

Letters exchanged between a notable person and a lady of distinction in Brighton.

London: Printed at the Logographic Press, by J. Walters, Printing House Square, Blackfriars, and sold by T. Longman, Paternoster Row; Robson and Clarke, New Bond Street; and W. Richardson, under the Royal Exchange.

London: Printed at the Logographic Press, by J. Walters, Printing House Square, Blackfriars, and sold by T. Longman, Paternoster Row; Robson and Clarke, New Bond Street; and W. Richardson, under the Royal Exchange.

Universal Register.

Universal Registry.

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A HOLIDAY AT ALL THE PUBLIC
OFFICES.

A PUBLIC HOLIDAY AT ALL OFFICES.

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To CORRESPONDENTS

To REPORTERS

Though much has been said of LORD GEORGE GORDON’S beard, yet, as the subject increases every day, THE TIMES will not let it pass unnoticed. The SHANDEAN Jeu d’Esprit will of course be attended to, though perhaps with a little clipping.

Though a lot has been said about LORD GEORGE GORDON’S beard, as the topic grows every day, THE TIMES won’t let it go unnoticed. The SHANDEAN Jeu d’Esprit will certainly be addressed, though maybe with a bit of editing.

The CRITIC will do, so will other SQUIBS from the same hand.

The CRITIC will work, as will other SQUIBS from the same author.

AMERICAN PHILOSOPHERS and PHILOSOPHY are entitled to the Protection of THE TIMES.—With ARTS AND SCIENCES we shall ever be at peace.

AMERICAN PHILOSOPHERS and PHILOSOPHY are entitled to the Protection of THE TIMES.—With ARTS AND SCIENCES we shall always be at peace.

On account of the great overflow of temporary matter, several articles of intelligence are unavoidably postponed. The favours of several of our Advertising correspondents, which were too long, and came too late for insertion, shall have places to-morrow.

Due to the massive influx of temporary content, several reports will inevitably be delayed. The contributions from some of our advertising partners, which were too lengthy and arrived too late for publication, will be featured tomorrow.

Parisian intelligence shall likewise have insertion without fail.

Parisian intelligence will definitely be included as well.

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TO THE PUBLIC.

TO THE PUBLIC.

Verbal thanks, however warm in expression, cannot be considered the criterion of Gratitude. Deeds, not words, prove sincerity, and by future endeavours to entertain and inform, The Times will evince their zeal in the service of The Public, and their feelings for the favours bestowed upon the Universal Register.

Spoken thanks, no matter how heartfelt, can't be seen as the true measure of Thanks. Actions, not words, demonstrate sincerity, and through future efforts to entertain and inform, The New York Times will show their dedication to serving The Public Audience and their appreciation for the support given to the Universal Registry.

Mr. Walter, patentee of the Logographic Press, cannot omit his tribute of thanks for the very great encouragement which his endeavours to improve the art of printing have experienced—notwithstanding the unjust and illiberal measures adopted to impede its progress and injure him. An accurate statement of these mean and invidious practices he is determined to lay before the public in a pamphlet on a future day; at present he will only mention a very recent one. The Daily Advertiser being generally read by the lower orders of the people, he offered at its office an Advertisement for several apprentices, which Mr. Jenour, the Printer, refused to insert, though he had received payment several days preceding.

Mr. Walter, patentee of the Logographic Press, wants to express his gratitude for the tremendous support he has received in his efforts to advance the art of printing—even in light of the unfair and unkind tactics used to block its progress and harm him. He plans to present a detailed account of these petty and malicious actions to the public in a pamphlet soon; for now, he will mention just one very recent incident. The Daily Advertiser, which is widely read by the working class, was shown an advertisement he submitted for several apprentices, but Mr. Jenour, the Printer, refused to publish it, even though he had been paid several days before.

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LONDON.

LONDON.

Last night her Majesty had a concert of vocal and instrumental music at the Palace at Windsor.

Last night, her Majesty hosted a concert of vocal and instrumental music at the Palace in Windsor.

The 7th of this month is fixed for the celebration of the marriage of the Archduke of Austria and the Princess Elizabeth of Wirtemberg.—The ceremony will be performed at Vienna.

The 7th of this month is set for the wedding of the Archduke of Austria and Princess Elizabeth of Wirtemberg. The ceremony will take place in Vienna.

The great heiress, Miss Pulteney, the daughter of William Pulteney, Esq., came of age last Thursday.—The entertainments on the occasion were very splendid, and the celebration kept at Shrewsbury.

The wealthy heiress, Miss Pulteney, the daughter of William Pulteney, Esq., turned 18 last Thursday. The celebrations for this event were lavish, and the festivities took place in Shrewsbury.

The indisposition of Lord Salisbury is a public evil; and to do his Herefordshire neighbours justice they think so, independent of their Christmas disappointment. Other and honourable feelings operate more upon the occasion.

The illness of Lord Salisbury is a public issue; and to be fair to his neighbors in Herefordshire, they believe this, regardless of their Christmas disappointment. Other honorable feelings are also at play in this situation.

Great expectations are formed of Mr. Fitzherbert’s talents in the important post to which he has lately been appointed; and we are ready to believe that he will amply fulfil them. But of this we are rather certain, that however he may surmount the attacks of the Hibernian politicians, if the jolly fellows once get him amongst them, they will soon make him feel a want of understanding.

Great expectations are held for Mr. Fitzherbert’s skills in the important position he was recently appointed to, and we are inclined to believe he will meet them fully. However, we are quite certain that, no matter how he manages to handle the challenges from the Hibernian politicians, if the fun-loving guys get him in their midst, they will quickly make him feel a lack of understanding.

The Minister, among his late acquisitions, his obtained a gift of an under Waistcote, which, however, he has ordered to be hung up in his wardrobe, not wishing to wear near his heart a vestment that has come from the enemy, and which, like the shirt presented by Dejianira to Hercules, is probably poisoned, and would rather raise a blister than prove of salutary effect.

The Minister, among his recent acquisitions, received a gift of an under Waistcoat. However, he has decided to hang it up in his wardrobe, not wanting to wear something from the enemy so close to his heart. Like the shirt that Dejanira gave to Hercules, which is probably poisoned, he believes it would likely cause a blister rather than any good effect.

The information offered by the Deserter from the political Banditti meets with no credit in Court; it having been repeatedly determined at the Sessions house in the Old Bailey that an approver, vulgarly called a King’s Evidence, shall have no credit with good men and true, unless his testimony be supported by witnesses of honest fame.

The information provided by the Defector from the political Bandits isn't taken seriously in Court; it has been repeatedly established at the Sessions house in the Old Bailey that an approver, commonly known as a King’s Evidence, won’t be trusted by good men and true unless their testimony is backed by witnesses of honest fame.

A few days since died Dr. Isaac Mann, Bishop of Cork and Ross, in Ireland, and Archdeacon of Dublin. The Marquis of Buckingham by the above event is singularly fortunate, by having it in his power during the first week of his administration to bestow a mitre on one of his chaplains.

A few days ago, Dr. Isaac Mann, Bishop of Cork and Ross in Ireland and Archdeacon of Dublin, passed away. The Marquis of Buckingham is particularly fortunate because he can grant a bishopric to one of his chaplains during the first week of his administration.

The declining state of the King of Spain naturally turns the attention of political observers to that quarter—as a system of measures very hostile to the views of France, and subversive of that tyranny which it has so long exercised at the Court of Madrid, may possibly be adopted. It is said, and the idea has long met with a current belief, that the Prince of Austria is well acquainted with the true interests of his country, and will when the power is his effectually promote them.

The worsening situation of the King of Spain naturally draws the interest of political observers to that area—since a set of measures quite unfavorable to the goals of France, and undermining the control it has held at the Court of Madrid for so long, might be implemented. It's believed, and this idea has been widely accepted for a while, that the Prince of Austria understands his country's true interests well and will effectively promote them once he has the power.

The public events of Holland are known to every one who can and will read the newspapers, but they alone who are able to get a peep into private correspondence can be informed, though they will not all of them believe, that Lord Beauchamp is actually giving dinners—aye, and good dinners too—at the Hague.

The public events in Holland are known to anyone who reads the newspapers, but only those who can see private correspondence can know, though not everyone will believe, that Lord Beauchamp is actually hosting dinners—yes, and good dinners too—at the Hague.

THE TIMES.

THE TIMES.


Why change the head?

Why change the leader?

This question will naturally come from the Public—and we the Times, being the PUBLIC’S most humble and most obedient Servants, think ourselves bound to answer.

This question will naturally come from the Public—and we the Times, being the PUBLIC'S most humble and obedient servants, feel it’s our duty to respond.

All things have heads—and all heads are liable to change

All things have heads—and all heads can change—

Every sentence and opinion advanced and supported by Mr. Shandy, on the influence and utility of a well-chosen surname, may be properly applied in shewing the recommendations and advantages which result from placing a striking title-page before a book, or an inviting Head on the front page of a News-Paper.

Every sentence and opinion put forward by Mr. Shandy regarding the impact and usefulness of a well-chosen surname can be appropriately used to illustrate the benefits and advantages of having an eye-catching title page for a book or an appealing Heading on the front page of a Newspaper.

A Head so placed, like those heads which once ornamented Temple Bar, or those of the Great Attorney or Great Contractor which, not long since, were conspicuously elevated for their great actions, and were exhibited in wooden frames, at the East and West-ends of this metropolis, never fails of attracting the eyes of passengers, though indeed we do not expect to experience the lenity shewn to these great exhibitors; for probably The Times will be pelted without mercy.

A Head placed like those heads that once decorated Temple Bar, or those of the Great Attorney or Great Contractor that were recently displayed prominently for their great deeds, and shown in wooden frames at the East and West ends of this city, always manages to catch the attention of passersby. However, we don’t expect to receive the same leniency shown to those great exhibitors; because it’s likely that The New York Times will be pelted without mercy.

But then a head with a good face is a harbinger or gentleman usher that often strongly recommends even Dulness, Folly, Immorality, or Vice—The immortal Locke gives evidence to the truth of this observation. That great philosopher has declared that, though repeatedly taken in, he never could withstand the solicitations of a well-drawn title-page—authority sufficient to justify us in assuming a new head, with a new set of features, but not with a design to impose; for we flatter ourselves the HEADS of The Times will not be found deficient in intellects, but by putting a new face on affairs, will be admired for the light of its countenance wherever it appears.

But then a head with a good face is a sign or gentleman usher that often strongly suggests even Boredom, Silliness, Unethical behavior, or Vice—The great Locke supports this observation. That great philosopher has said that, even after being fooled multiple times, he could never resist the appeal of a well-crafted title page—enough reason for us to take on a new head, with a new set of features, but not to deceive; for we believe the HEADS of The Times will not lack in intellects, but by presenting a new face to matters, will be appreciated for the light of its countenance wherever it appears.

To advert to our first position.

To refer to our first point.

The Universal Register has been a name as injurious to the Logographic News-Paper as Tristram was to Mr. Shandy’s Son—but Old Shandy forgot he might have rectified by confirmation the mistake of the parson at baptism, and with the touch of a Bishop have changed Tristram to Trismegestus.

The Universal Database has been as harmful to the Logographic News-Paper as Tris was to Mr. Shandy's Kid—but Classic Shandy overlooked the fact that he could have corrected the parson's mistake at the baptism by getting a Bishop to change Tristram to Trismegistus.

The Universal Register, from the day of its first appearance to the day of its confirmation has like Tristram suffered from innumerable casualities, both laughable and serious, arising from its name, which on its introduction was immediately curtailed of its fair proportion by all who called for it, the word Universal being universally omitted, and the word Register, only, being retained. “Boy, bring me the Register.” The waiter answers, “Sir, we have not a library, but you may see it at the New Exchange Coffee House.” “Then I’ll see it there,” answers the disappointed politician, and he goes to the New Exchange and calls for the Register; upon which the waiter tells him he cannot have it if he is not a subscriber—or presents him with the Court and City Register, the Old Annual Register, or the New Annual Register; or if the Coffee House be within the Purlieus of Covent Garden, or the Hundreds of Drury—slips into the politician’s hand “Harris’s Register of Ladies.”

The Global Registry, from the day it first came out to the day it was confirmed, has, much like Tristan, faced countless incidents, both funny and serious, because of its name. When it was launched, everyone who requested it immediately shortened its name, leaving out the word Universal and keeping just Register. “Hey, bring me the Register.” The waiter replies, “Sir, we don’t have a library, but you can find it at the New Exchange Coffee House.” “Then I’ll go see it there,” responds the disappointed politician, and he heads to the New Exchange and asks for the Register; to which the waiter informs him that he cannot get it unless he is a subscriber—or he offers him the Court and City Register, the Old Annual Register, or the New Annual Register; or if the Coffee House is near Covent Garden or the Hundreds of Drury—slips into the politician’s hand “Harris’s Register of Ladies.”

For these and other reasons, the parents of the Universal Register have added to its original name that of the

For these and other reasons, the parents of the Global Registry have added to its original name that of the

TIMES,

TIMES

Which, being a monosyllable, bids defiance to corrupters and mutilaters of the language.

Which, being a monosyllable, stands up to corruptors and mutilators of the language.

The Times! What a monstrous name! Granted—for The Times is a many-headed monster that speaks with a hundred tongues, and displays a thousand characters, and in the course of its transformations in life assumes innumerable shapes and humours.

The News! What a huge name! Sure—The Times is a many-sided beast that talks in a hundred different ways and shows a thousand personalities, and throughout its changes in life takes on countless forms and moods.

The critical reader will observe we personify our new name, but as we give it no distinction of sex, and though it will be active in its vocations, yet we apply to it the neuter gender.

The careful reader will notice that we give our new name human qualities, but since we don't assign it any specific gender, and even though it will be active in its roles, we still refer to it using the neuter gender.

The Times, being formed of materials and possessing qualities of opposite and heterogeneous natures, cannot be classed either in the animal or vegetable genus; but like the Polypus is doubtful, and in the discussion, description, dissection, and illustration, will employ the pens of the most celebrated of the Literati.

The New York Times is made up of different materials and has qualities that are both contrasting and varied, so it can't be categorized as either animal or plant genus; however, like the Polypus, its classification is uncertain, and in discussing, describing, dissecting, and illustrating it, the talents of the most renowned Literati will be utilized.

The Heads of the Times, as has been said, are many; they will however not always appear at the same time, but casually, as public or private affairs may call them forth.

The Editors of the Times, as mentioned, are numerous; however, they won't always show up at the same time, but rather, as public or private matters arise.

The principal or leading heads are—

The main leaders are—

  • The Literature,
  • Politics,
  • Advertisement,
  • Philosophical,
  • Essential,
  • Dramatic,
  • Trendy,
  • Humorous,
  • Clever, &c., &c.

Each of which are supplied with a competent share of intellects for the pursuit of their several functions; an endowment which is not in all time to be found even in the Heads of the State—The heads of the Church—the heads of the Law—the heads of the Navy—the heads of the Army—and though last, not least, the great heads of the Universities.

Each of which are equipped with a solid amount of intelligence to carry out their various roles; a quality that is not always found even in the Leaders of the State—the leaders of the Church—the leaders of the Law—the leaders of the Navy—the leaders of the Army—and though last, not least, the great leaders of the Universities.

The Political Head of The Times, like that of Janus, the Roman Deity, is double faced; with one countenance it will smile continually on the friends of Old England, and with the other will frown incessantly on her enemies.

The Political Head of The Times, much like Janus, the Roman God, has two faces; with one side, it constantly smiles at the friends of Old England, and with the other, it continually scowls at her enemies.

The alteration we have made in our head is not without precedents. The World has parted with half of its Caput Mortuum and a moiety of its brains. The Herald has cut off half of its head, and has lost its original humour. The Post, it is true, retains its whole head and its old features; and as to the other public prints, they appear as having neither heads nor tails.

The changes we've made in our head aren't without examples. The World has shed half of its Caput Mortuum and some of its brains. The Announce has lost half of its head and its original character. The Post, however, keeps its full head and its old features; as for the other public publications, they seem to have neither heads nor tails.

On the Parliamentary Head every communication that ability and industry can produce may be expected. To this great National object The Times will be most sedulously attentive, most accurately correct, and strictly impartial in its reports.

On the Head of Parliament, you can expect communication that shows talent and hard work. The Times will be very focused on this important National object, providing accurate corrections and strictly impartial reports.

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THEATRE.

THEATER.

Drury Lane.

Drury Lane.

Hamlet—whose doom, at least this season, has unfortunately been “to walk the night and strut to empty benches”—performed yesterday evening its accustomed penance in lieu of Tamerlane.

Hamlet—whose fate, at least this season, has unfortunately been “to walk the night and strut to empty benches”—performed last night its usual penance instead of Tamerlane.

Were not this excellent tragedy so often used “on the spur of the occasion,” we think such admirable acting as Kemble’s Prince of Denmark would meet with more attendance—more of applause it could not have.

Were this outstanding tragedy not so often performed "on the spur of the moment," we believe that the remarkable acting of Kemble’s Prince of Denmark would attract more audience—it couldn't receive more applause.

Mrs. Ward’s performance of the Queen is the best proof of Mrs. Siddon’s assertion, that “Gertrude had more good points about her than the critics were aware of.” Mrs. Ward’s distracted look in the closet scene aided most powerfully Kemble’s piteous exclamation of, “On him! on him!” Indeed, the noble delineation of that difficult character did much credit to this rising actress.

Mrs. Ward’s portrayal of the Queen is the strongest evidence of Mrs. Siddon’s claim that “Gertrude had more positive qualities than the critics recognized.” Mrs. Ward’s frantic look in the closet scene greatly enhanced Kemble’s heartbreaking shout of, “On him! on him!” In fact, the impressive depiction of such a challenging character did a lot to showcase this emerging actress’s talent.


Covent Garden.

Covent Garden.

“Henry the Fourth,” with Ryder’s Falstaff, ended the year merrily at this Theatre. The house was remarkably full, and the lower boxes had most of the fashionable amateurs in town. The Falstaff of Ryder, though not perfection, is yet respectable, and is the more welcome, with “all its imperfections upon its head,” as disappointing the general assertion that Falstaff died with Henderson. Among the most pleasing and prominent features were his address to the gang on Gadds Hill—“By the Lord, I knew you”—to the Prince, and soliloquy on honour. The description of his company was also replete with humour.

“Henry the Fourth,” featuring Ryder’s Falstaff, wrapped up the year merrily at this Theatre. The venue was pretty packed, and the lower boxes were filled with most of the fashionable amateurs in town. Ryder's portrayal of Falstaff, although not perfect, is still respectable and is more appreciated, “with all its imperfections upon its head,” as it counters the common belief that Falstaff died with Henderson. Among the most enjoyable and notable moments were his lines to the gang on Gadds Hill—“By the Lord, I knew you”—to the Prince, and his soliloquy about honour. The way he described his company was also full of humor.

Edwin’s kind donation of the sugar candy was particularly welcome to Lewis, who was most villainously hoarse. The scene of Anon! anon! Sir, of course lost much of its effect.

Edwin’s generous gift of the sugar candy was especially appreciated by Lewis, who was extremely hoarse. The moment of "Anon! anon! Sir," definitely lost a lot of its impact.

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Rehearsal of New Year’s Ode.

Rehearsal of New Year's Song.

Mr. Cramer led the band at the rehearsal yesterday, in Hickford’s Rooms, Brewer’s Street. The Overture consisted of three movements, in the second of which Mr. Parke’s oboe was distinguished in a Solo accompanied by the Violincello. Mr. Sale opened the vocal part in a recitative and air—

Mr. Cramer led the band at rehearsal yesterday, in Hickford’s Rooms, Brewer’s Street. The Overture had three movements, and in the second, Mr. Parke’s oboe stood out in a solo accompanied by the cello. Mr. Sale started the vocal part with a recitative and air

"The Pile was rough, and the Roof was heavy."

He was followed by Doctor Hayes, who executed an air with great applause. Master Carnaby, one of the King’s Boys, sung a verse sweetly, beginning,

He was followed by Doctor Hayes, who put on a performance that got a lot of applause. Master Carnaby, one of the King’s Boys, sang a verse beautifully, starting,

"When to the King."

In the cantibile at the close, he rather failed in his execution, which was very excusable in a first essay before so many capital masters. A most rich and beautiful symphony preceded Mr. Dyne’s air.

In the cantabile at the end, he kind of stumbled in his performance, which was completely understandable for a first attempt in front of so many great masters. A really rich and beautiful symphony came before Mr. Dyne’s aria.

"Proud Castle, to your bannered grounds."

It was much admired for its simplicity, it being conceived in the captivating manner of the late Doctor Arne, with this addition, that the accompanyments were much richer. The music finished with a very powerful chorus, “Albion, arouse,” but there were not voices sufficient to to do it justice.

It was greatly admired for its simplicity, inspired by the captivating style of the late Doctor Arne, with the added feature that the accompaniments were much richer. The music concluded with a very powerful chorus, “Albion, arouse,” but there weren't enough voices to do it justice.

The Duke of Cumberland and near two hundred ladies and gentlemen were present. Previous to the performance, the minuets for the Queen’s birthday were as usual played over, two of which seemed to have a considerable share of novelty and merit.

The Duke of Cumberland and almost two hundred ladies and gentlemen were there. Before the performance, the minuets for the Queen's birthday were played as usual, and two of them really stood out for their novelty and quality.

THE CUCKOO

The Cuckoo

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Repeated the little piece of machinery which Lady Wallis had conveyed into her muff, when she visited the Countess of Huntingdon’s chapel. The preacher raised up his eyes with amazement. Cuckoo! repeated the machine. “O word unpleasing to a married ear.” Messrs. A., B., and C. rubbed their foreheads, and looked upon the preacher. The preacher went on with his discourse: “fornicators and adulterers shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Cuckoo! repeated the machine. The preacher proceeded till he came to another quotation: “Saul! Saul! why persecutes thou me?” Cuckoo! repeated the machine.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! chimed the little piece of machinery that Lady Wallis had brought into her muff when she visited the Countess of Huntingdon chapel. The preacher looked up in surprise. Cuckoo! the machine echoed. “Oh, what an unpleasant word for a married person to hear.” Messrs. A., B., and C. rubbed their foreheads and glanced at the preacher. The preacher continued with his sermon: “fornicators and adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Cuckoo! the machine chirped again. The preacher went on until he reached another quote: “Saul! Saul! why are you persecuting me?” Cuckoo! the machine replied.

Lady Bristol, more notoriously known by her assumed title, the Duchess of Kingston, had lately been seized with a longing to revisit her native country. Her Ladyship declares she has for a considerable time past felt the amor patria, and wishes for a private conversation with his Majesty’s Ministers, for the purpose of laying before them the true state of the Empress of Russia’s private affairs.

Lady Bristol, more commonly known by her assumed title, the Duchess of Kingston, had recently been overcome with a desire to return to her homeland. Her Ladyship states that she has for quite some time now felt the love of her country, and she wants a private conversation with his Majesty’s Ministers to discuss the true state of the Empress of Russia’s private affairs.

We are rejoiced for the best reason in the world—because it will promote the joy of others—that the report of Mrs. Hobart having retired from the Richmond Theatre is entirely without foundation. Where mirth, good humour, and elegant festivity prevail, especially if they should be heightened by the comic scene, Mrs. Hobart cannot be easily spared.

We are thrilled for the best reason possible—because it will bring happiness to others—that the news about Mrs. Hobart retiring from the Richmond Theatre is completely untrue. Where laughter, cheerfulness, and classy celebrations are happening, especially if they are made even better by a funny scene, Mrs. Hobart is definitely hard to replace.

On Friday evening, there was a private concert at the house of Mr. Billington, in Poland Street, at which there were some of the first-characters in the kingdom. A more particular account of it probably will be given in this paper on a future day.

On Friday night, there was a private concert at Mr. Billington's house on Poland Street, featuring some of the most prominent figures in the kingdom. A more detailed account of it will likely be provided in this publication on a later date.

Though clearing the gallery of the Commons of strangers be a standing order, which any member may insist upon without being seconded, yet Sir Gregory would not venture to put it in execution without consulting his Lady: who, after examining the premises, has given her opinion that such things ought not to be sported or trifled with.

Though it's a general rule to clear the gallery of the Commons of strangers, which any member can insist on without needing support, Sir Greg wouldn't go ahead and do it without checking with his Lady: who, after looking over the situation, has stated that such things shouldn't be sported or trifled with.

Sir Thomas Beaver and Major Money have commenced Literary hostilities, through the medium of the Norwich Mercury; their ammunition is of inflammable materials—more, however, of brimstone than of salt, and charcoal in great abundance.

Sir Thomas Beaver and Big Money have started a war of words via the Norwich Mercury; their weapons are made of easily ignitable materials—more **brimstone** than **salt**, and **lots of charcoal**.

As this Paper has traced every incident respecting Lord George Gordon for several months past, it takes the liberty of announcing his Lordship’s return to St. George’s Fields early in the ensuing term.

As this paper has outlined every event involving Lord George Gordon over the past few months, it takes the liberty of announcing his Lordship’s return to St. George’s Fields early in the upcoming term.

Lord George Gordon is preparing to beard Mr. Attorney General on the question of bail; and Mr. Attorney on his part is preparing a cutting argument for trimming Lord George, but though his Lordship has been so long in the suds, it is not thought that shaving will take place till the day of Judgement.

Lord George Gordon is getting ready to confront Mr. AG about the bail issue; and Mr. Attorney, for his part, is crafting a sharp argument to put Lord George in his place, but even though his Lordship has been in the suds for a while, it's not expected that shaving will happen until the day of Judgment.

The paragraph which appeared in a certain respectable Morning Print, relative to the discharge of a person from St. James’s, for having paid a grateful attention to Lord George in his distresses is, however, not true; indeed, the report was too ungracious to be so.

The paragraph that was published in a certain reputable morning newspaper about the firing of someone from St. James’s for having shown kindness to Lord George during his troubles is, however, not true; in fact, the report was too ungracious to be accurate.

O Quackery! where wilt thou end? O Physic, when are thy disgraces to terminate? There are at this time a practitioner in town, who says to his patients—“Use my wegetable, follow my regiment, and never fear it will radicate all your pectril complaints.” Such a character should not escape the animadversion of The Times; but of this here Doctor more anon—when The Times have leisure.

Oh, that's nonsense! where will you stop? Oh Medicine!, when will your shame come to an end? Right now, there is a practitioner in town who tells his patients—“Use my vegetable, follow my regimen, and never worry; it will eliminate all your chest problems.” Such a person should not escape the attention of The Times; but we'll talk more about this Doctor later—when The Times has the time.

Yesterday the Purser of the Dutton, Captain Hunt, for Bombay and China, received his final dispatches from the India House.

Yesterday, the Purser of the Dutton, Captain Hunt, bound for Bombay and China, got his final dispatches from the India House.

It is really surprising that Bedford Street, one of the great leading avenues to the Strand, should continue to remain in so confined a state towards the bottom; it resembles a great bottle with a small neck; there is not literally at its entrance from the Strand room for two coaches to go abreast, yet forty yards higher it is roomy and spacious. If the houses which form so great a bulk on the right hand, where Cater the Pawnbroker now lives, were thrown down, and an elegant range of new buildings to match the opposite corner, where Mess. Humble and Henderson’s upholstery warehouse is, it would certainly be equally commodious with either Catherine or Southampton Street.

It's really surprising that Bedford Street, one of the main streets leading to the Strand, remains so narrow at the bottom; it looks like a big bottle with a small neck. There's hardly enough space at its entrance from the Strand for two carriages to pass side by side, yet just forty yards up it's wide and spacious. If the houses that make up such a large portion on the right, where Cater the Pawnbroker currently lives, were torn down and replaced with a stylish row of new buildings to match the opposite corner, where Mess. Humble and Henderson's upholstery warehouse is, it would definitely be just as accommodating as either Catherine or Southampton Street.

During the late memorable contest between Johnson and Ryan, in the last set to Ryan trod upon Johnstone’s great toe, and by the violence of the struggle lacerated the nail wholly from it. Johnstone was at this instant observed to turn pale. When they were disengaged Johnstone was so much irritated, that making a blow at Ryan, whom he missed, he struck one of the uprights of the stage, which shook it in an incredible manner, the next blow that Johnstone made was aimed at the chest, in which he succeeded, and this terminated the contest. Johnstone then asked Ryan if he had enough; to which he replied, “I’ve had enough these six minutes, but to oblige my friends, I have stood up.” Johnson’s hand was much bruised and black for some time after by the blow against the upright, and we hear he has not yet recovered of the hurt which his toe received in the encounter.

During the memorable match between Johnson and Ryan, in the last round Ryan stepped on Johnstone’s big toe, and in the heat of the struggle, he completely tore the nail off. At that moment, Johnstone was seen turning pale. When they separated, Johnstone was so enraged that he swung at Ryan, missed, and instead hit one of the posts of the stage, shaking it violently. The next punch Johnstone threw landed on Ryan's chest, ending the fight. Johnstone then asked Ryan if he had enough, to which Ryan replied, “I’ve had enough for the past six minutes, but to please my friends, I’ve put up with it.” Johnson’s hand was bruised and blackened for a while after hitting the post, and we hear he still hasn't recovered from the injury to his toe from the fight.

The spirit with which the Lord Mayor threatens the pack of Bullock Drivers in amongst the first fruits of his administration, which promise it to be, as we hope it will prove, an administration of effect. As for our part, we cannot be convinced that the power of the magistracy in the metropolis and its suburbs is not equal to the correction of the numerous disgraceful abuses which infect its jurisdiction.

The way the Lord Mayor approaches the group of Bullock Drivers at the start of his term suggests, as we hope, that it will be a productive administration. We firmly believe that the power of local officials in the city and its surrounding areas can tackle the numerous disgraceful abuses that affect its jurisdiction.

A tradesman of St Alban’s being asked why the King, after his fatigue on Saturday, quitted the town with so much precipitation, replied with some humour, “because his Majesty had no inclination to dine with Duke Humphrey.”

A tradesman from St Alban's, when asked why the King left town so quickly after his exhausting Saturday, jokingly said, “because His Majesty didn't want to have dinner with Duke Humphrey.”

Saturday morning, several of the felons in the New Goal in the Borough made an attempt to escape, but were overheard by the Keeper, when two of the principals were properly secured in the strong room.

On Saturday morning, several inmates at the New Goal in the Borough attempted to escape but were overheard by the Keeper, who then securely locked away two of the main offenders in the strong room.

This day is Published,
Price 1s. the book, and 8d. the sheet,
Elegantly printed in a size which may be enclosed in a
Pocket Book,

This day is published,
Price £1 for the book, and 8p for the sheet,
Elegantly printed in a size that can fit in a
Pocket Book,

TRUSLER’S CLERICAL and UNIVERSAL ALMANACK for the year 1788. Which contains a greater variety of matter than any other now published; and though in a small size has the lists of Lords and Commons, New Taxes, and is a complete Court Register in a much lesser compass.

TRUSLER'S CLERICAL and UNIVERSAL ALMANACK for the year 1788. This edition includes more diverse content than any other currently available; and although it's compact, it features the lists of Lords and Commons, new taxes, and serves as a complete court register in a more concise format.

London: Printed at the Logographic Press: and sold by all the Booksellers.

London: Printed at the Logographic Press: and sold by all the booksellers.

GAME OF WHIST.
This day is published,
Price fourpence, or four for a shilling to give away,

Whist Game.
Today’s release,
Price four pence, or four for a shilling to distribute,

BOB SHORT’S RULES of the GAME of WHIST, improved by the addition of the Laws of WHIST, as now played at Brookes’s, Bath, &c.

BOB SHORT’S RULES of the GAME of WHIST, updated by including the Laws of WHIST, as currently played at Brookes’s, Bath, & more.

Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, of whom may be had, price One Shilling,

Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, where you can get it for One Shilling,

EVERY MAN A GOOD CARD PLAYER,

EVERY MAN A GOOD CARD PLAYER,

Or Rules for playing the Game of Whist, Quadrille, Picquet, Lansquenet and Quinze.

Or Rules for playing the games of Whist, Quadrille, Picquet, Lansquenet, and Quinze.

By a MEMBER of the JOCKEY CLUB.

By a MEMBER of the JOCKEY CLUB.

VALUABLE NEW YEAR’S GIFTS.

GREAT NEW YEAR’S GIFTS.

This day was published,
Price Two Shillings, sewed,
Or Three shillings neatly bound and gilt,

This issue was released,
Price Two Shillings, stitched,
Or Three Shillings nicely bound and gold-stamped,

A NEW and Beautiful Edition of TOMKINS’ SELECTION OF POEMS, to enforce the practice of Virtue.

A NEW and Beautiful Edition of TOMKINS’ SELECTION OF POEMS, to promote the practice of Virtue.

Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, of whom may be had, the same size and price,

Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, from whom you can get the same size and price,

THE BEAUTIES OF BLAIR’S SERMONS,
Selected with a view to refine the taste,
Rectify the judgment, and mould the heart to Virtue.

THE BEAUTIES OF BLAIR’S SERMONS,
Selected to refine taste,
Correct judgment, and shape the heart towards Virtue.

This day is published,
Handsomely printed, in one volume, 12mo,
Price two shillings and sixpence, sewed,

This day is published,
Nicely printed, in one volume, 12mo,
Price two shillings and sixpence, sewn,

THE INTERESTING MEMOIRS OF HENRY MASERS DE LATUDE, during a confinement of Thirty-five years in the State Prisons of FRANCE; giving an historical account of those lamentable places of abode for those unhappy persons who fall under their cruel power; of the Means he used to escape once from the Bastille and twice from the dungeons of Vincennes, with the consequences of those attempts; the whole forming a Series of Events and Perseverance (under the most dreadful apprehension) scarcely to be thought possible for the Human Mind to sustain, and which will be found unparalleled in the Annals of History.

THE CAPTIVATING MEMOIRS OF HENRY MASERS DE LATUDE, recounting his Thirty-five years in the State Prisons of FRANCE; providing an account of those unfortunate places where individuals suffer under their harsh control; detailing the methods he used to escape once from the Bastille and twice from the dungeons of Vincennes, along with the outcomes of those attempts; the entire narrative presenting a series of events and determination (under the most terrifying circumstances) that seems almost unimaginable for the Human Mind to endure, and which will be found unmatched in the History Books.

Written by HIMSELF.

Written by HIMSELF.

Together with REMARKS of the TRANSLATOR on the utility and necessity of the LETTRES DE CACHET, with respect to the manners and constitution of France.

Together with COMMENTS from the TRANSLATOR on the usefulness and importance of the LETTRES DE CACHET, concerning the customs and structure of France.

The above work was privately printed and circulated at Paris; the public sale being suppressed, as it contained many circumstances the French Military wished to conceal from the Public Eye.

The above work was privately printed and distributed in Paris; the public sale was stopped because it included many details that the French military wanted to keep hidden from the public.

Printed for the Editor, at the Logographic Press, and sold by Robson and Clarke, New Bond Street; T. Longman, Paternoster Row; and W. Richardson, under the Royal Exchange.

Printed for the Editor, at the Logographic Press, and sold by Robson and Clarke, New Bond Street; T. Longman, Paternoster Row; and W. Richardson, under the Royal Exchange.

This day is published,
The THIRD EDITION of

This day is published,
The THIRD EDITION of

HISTORIES OF CURES performed by Mr. RUSPINI’S STYPTIC SOLUTION. Amongst others of the greatest importance, is a cure lately communicated to Mr. Ruspini by the Surgeon of the Royal Hospital of Haslar, Portsmouth, of a Sailor whose arm was so shattered to pieces by the explosion of a cannon, that amputating the limb near the shoulder became absolutely necessary. The usual means by legature for restraining the hamorrhage proving abortive, by its proceeding from within the bone, induced the Surgeon, as the only remaining chance, to use the Styptic Liquor. It was applied, and the bleeding soon stopped. It proceeds to inform Mr. Ruspini that had not the Styptic answered this great purpose, the last and only remedy appeared to be a second amputation in the shoulder joint.

HHISTORIES OF CURES performed by Mr. RUSPINI’S STYPTIC SOLUTION. Among the most significant is a recent case reported to Mr. Ruspini by the Surgeon of the Royal Hospital of Haslar, Portsmouth, involving a sailor whose arm was so badly damaged by a cannon explosion that amputating it near the shoulder became absolutely necessary. The usual methods for controlling the bleeding were ineffective because it was coming from inside the bone, which led the Surgeon to use the Styptic Liquor as a last resort. It was applied, and the bleeding quickly stopped. The Surgeon informed Mr. Ruspini that if the Styptic hadn’t worked, the only remaining option would have been a second amputation at the shoulder joint.

London: Printed for J. Johnston, Bookseller, St. Paul’s Church Yard: and to be had also of Mr. Ruspini, Surgeon Dentist to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales; and at Mr. Ruspini’s, Jun., Bath.

London: Printed for J. Johnston, Bookseller, St. Paul’s Church Yard; also available from Mr. Ruspini, Surgeon Dentist to His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales; and at Mr. Ruspini’s, Jr., Bath.

THIS DAY is published.
Beautifully printed in Quarto, upon a Superfine Medium Paper,
Dedicated by permission to the Right Hon. W. PITT,
NUMBER I.
Price One Shilling (to be continued weekly), of
A new and elegant edition of

THIS DAY is published.
Beautifully printed in Quarto, on Superfine Medium Paper,
Committed by permission to the Right Hon. W. PITT,
NUMBER I.
Price One Shilling (to be continued weekly), of
A new and elegant edition of

ANDERSON’S Historical and Chronological Deduction of the ORIGIN of COMMERCE, from the earliest accounts to the present time; containing a HISTORY of the great Commercial Interests of the BRITISH EMPIRE: To which is prefixed an INTRODUCTION, exhibiting a view of the Antient and Modern STATE OF EUROPE, &c., with an APPENDIX, containing the Modern Politico-Commercial GEOGRAPHY of the several European countries. Carefully revised, corrected, and continued up to the present time

AANDERSON’S Historical and Timeline Logic of the ORIGIN of COMMERCE, from the earliest records to today; including a HISTORY of the major Commercial Interests of the BRITISH EMPIRE: Prefaced by an INTRODUCTION, providing an overview of the Ancient and Modern STATE OF EUROPE, &c., along with an APPENDIX, featuring the Modern Political-Commercial GEOGRAPHY of various European countries. Carefully revised, corrected, and updated to the present time

By Persons of the First Literary Talent and Commercial Knowledge.

By People with Outstanding Writing Ability and Business Savvy.

This scarce and valuable work is in the highest estimation in the Literary World, as it is well known to contain the most comprehensive and well digested view of the Principles of Commerce now extant, and must be of the greatest utility, both to the Statesman and Merchant, as well as to Readers of every description, at this important Period.

This rare and valuable work is highly regarded in the literary world because it offers the most thorough and clear understanding of the principles of commerce currently available. It will be immensely useful to politicians and merchants, as well as readers of all kinds, during this critical time.

London: Printed at the Logographic Press. by J. Walter, Printing House Square, Black Friars,

London: Printed at the Logographic Press by J. Walter, Printing House Square, Black Friars,

AND SOLD BY

AND SOLD BY

J. Robson, T. Payne and Sons, B. White and Son, L. Davis, B. Law, R. Baldwin, T. Becket, T. Elmsly, W. Otridge, J. Johnson, C. Dilby, W. Richardson, W. Flexney, W. Goldsmith, J. Blew, T. Evans, W. Lowndes, J. Debret, G. and T. Whilkie, T. Wheldon, Scatcherd and Whitaker; also by T. White, Dublin; Elliott and Gordon, Edinburgh; Dunlop and Wilson, Glasgow; And all other Booksellers in Great Britain and Ireland.

J. Robson, T. Payne and Sons, B. White and Son, L. Davis, B. Law, R. Baldwin, T. Becket, T. Elmsly, W. Otridge, J. Johnson, C. Dilby, W. Richardson, W. Flexney, W. Goldsmith, J. Blew, T. Evans, W. Lowndes, J. Debret, G. and T. Whilkie, T. Wheldon, Scatcherd and Whitaker; also by T. White, Dublin; Elliott and Gordon, Edinburgh; Dunlop and Wilson, Glasgow; and all other booksellers in Great Britain and Ireland.

The first and Second Volumes of this work (agreeable to the wishes of many gentlemen subscribers and others) are now published in boards, price 1l. 18s., embellished with an elegant Map of the World, executed in masterly style, improved with the latest Discoveries, and may be had as above.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. The first and second volumes of this work (as requested by many gentlemen subscribers and others) are now available in paperback for £1.18. They feature a beautifully crafted world map, skillfully designed and updated with the latest discoveries, and can be purchased as mentioned above.

For the BENEFIT of the PUBLIC.

For the BENEFIT of the PUBLIC.

THE Public are respectfully informed that several Medicines of the best acknowledged infallibility, in the respective parts of the world they are gathered from, are on sale, by appointment, at J. de Boffe’s, importer of Foreign Books and Prints, No. 7, Gerard Street, Soho, and at Mr. Randall’s, under the Royal Exchange. Emolument is not the object of so useful an exertion, as to import from all parts articles of so eminent a virtue: but that of spreading relief, viz.:—Opiate of Life, most sovereign for weak and decayed stomachs, and infallible to all consumptive complaints, 7s. per pot of 18 doses. Golden Pill—the greatest specific ever known against pains in the head and eyes, a great restorer of lost memory, and most wonderful for giving a beautiful complexion; a composition of the wholesomest and scarcest articles, as are even not to be had in Europe, 10s. 6d. per box of 24 pills. Danish Pills, a never-failing remedy against the gravel, 6s. per box of 24 pills.

THE public is kindly informed that various highly effective medicines, known for their reliability in the regions they are sourced from, are available for purchase by appointment at J. de Boffe’s, importer of foreign books and prints, located at No. 7, Gerard Street, Soho, and at Mr. Randall’s, under the Royal Exchange. Profit is not the goal of such a beneficial effort as importing these remarkable products; instead, it aims to provide relief, including:—Opiate of Life, which is highly effective for weak and deteriorating stomachs and is sure to assist with all consumption-related issues, priced at 7s. per pot of 18 doses. Golden Pill—the best remedy ever known for headaches and eye pain, a great aid for memory restoration, and amazing for achieving a lovely complexion; made from the healthiest and rarest ingredients, which are even unavailable in Europe, priced at 10s. 6d. per box of 24 pills. Danish Pills, a reliable treatment for kidney stones, priced at 6s. per box of 24 pills.

Interesting Discoveries. A liquid which will render all writings not legible as legible as if they had been instantly written, 10s. 6d. per bottle; and an Ointment which destroys bugs so as never to return, 2s. 6d. per pot.

Interesting Discoveries. A liquid that makes all writing illegible look as clear as if it were just written, £10.60 per bottle; and an ointment that eliminates bugs for good, £2.50 per pot.

To PARENTS and GUARDIANS.

To Parents and Guardians.

WANTED, A YOUNG GENTLEMAN of respectable parents, as an APPRENTICE to a LINEN DRAPER in a House of very extensive Business, the West end of the Town. A Genteel premium will be expected, as he will be treated as one of the family.

WWANTED, A YOUNG MAN from a respectable family, as an APPRENTICE to a LINEN STORE in a well-established business in the West end of the city. A classy fee will be expected, as he will be treated like one of the family.

For particulars, enquire of Mr. Holl, Printing House Square, Blackfriars.

For details, contact Mr. Holl at Printing House Square, Blackfriars.

LODGINGS IN SURREY,

STAY OPTIONS IN SURREY,

Within three or four miles of London Bridge, in a dry,
well-seasoned House.

Within three or four miles of London Bridge, in a dry,
well-seasoned house.

TWO Bed-Chambers and a Dining-Room, large, handsome, airy, and well furnished, will be wanted on Monday, the 7th of January, for a month’s trial.

TWO Bed-Chambers and a Dining Room, spacious, attractive, bright, and nicely furnished, will be needed on Monday, January 7th, for a one-month trial.

Letters addressed to X., at Lloyd’s Coffeehouse, describing particulars and terms, will be attended to on Friday or Saturday next.

Letters addressed to X. at Lloyd’s Coffeehouse, detailing specifics and terms, will be handled next Friday or Saturday.

TO BE LETT,

FOR RENT,

And entered upon Immediately,

And entered immediately,

TWO good Dwelling Houses, situated in Nicholas Lane, Lombard Street, late in the possession of Mr. Gregory and Mr. Southwell.

TWO nice houses located on Nicholas Lane, Lombard Street, previously owned by Mr. Gregory and Mr. Southwell.

Enquire of Mr. John Walter, Printing House Square, Blackfriars.

Enquire with Mr. John Walter, Printing House Square, Blackfriars.

REFINED LIQUORIC,

REFINED LIQUORICE,

For COUGHS, COLDS, ASTHMAS and DEFLUXIONS of the LUNGS, sold by C. WALSH, CHYMIST, No. 100, STRAND, near EXETER CHANGE.

For coughs, colds, asthma, and lung issues, sold by C. Walsh, Chemist, No. 100, Strand, near Exeter Change.

THE very great esteem in which this Preparation is held in, and the general knowledge of the effects of the plant from which it is extracted, renders an account of its medicinal properties almost unnecessary. In all phthsical and hectic disorders, complaints of the lungs, and breast coughs, colds, and asthmatic affections, there cannot be a better or (and what particularly recommends it) a more agreeable remedy. It also effectually clears the organs of speech, by removing that viscid phlegm which prevents a due extent of the voice; in short, it is a medicine of very singular pectoral qualities, and will not fail of giving relief in every disorder to which the lungs are subject to.

THE high regard in which this Preparation is held, along with the common understanding of the effects of the plant it comes from, makes a detailed discussion of its medicinal properties almost unnecessary. For all kinds of lung issues, like phthisis and hectic fevers, along with coughs, colds, and asthma, there isn’t a better, and what’s more, a more pleasant remedy. It also effectively clears the vocal cords by getting rid of the thick mucus that restricts voice projection; in summary, it is a medicine with exceptional qualities for the chest and will certainly provide relief for any ailments affecting the lungs.

Sold in Boxes, One Shilling each; small ditto, 6d.

Sold in Boxes, One Shilling each; small ones, 6d.

ENGLISH STATE LOTTERY.

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY.

Begins Drawing FEBRUARY 11, 1788.

Starts Drawing FEBRUARY 11, 1788.

RICHARDSON and GOODLUCK respectfully inform the public that the TICKETS are SOLD and divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth, and Sixteenth SHARES, at their licensed State Lottery Offices, in the Bank Buildings, Cornhill, and opposite the King’s Mews, Charing Cross, where every business of the Lottery is transacted with correctness and fidelity.

RRICHARDSON and GOODLUCK respectfully inform the public that the TICKETS are SOLD and divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth, and Sixteenth SHARES, at their licensed State Lottery Offices, in the Bank Buildings, Cornhill, and across from the King’s Mews, Charing Cross, where all Lottery transactions are handled accurately and reliably.

N.B. In the last and TWO preceding Lotteries the following CAPITAL PRIZES have been sold and shared at the above Office, viz.:—

N.B. In the last and two previous lotteries, the following major prizes have been sold and distributed at the above office, namely:—

Sold in Shares
No. 48,577 a Prize of £20,000.
23,148 —— 10,000.
27,964 —— 10,000.
41,827 —— 5,000.
33,599 —— 5,000.
22,740 —— 5,000.
Whole Tickets
No 968 a Prize of £20,000.
4,196 —— 10,000.
5,473 —— 5,000.
18,179 —— 5,000.
3,605 —— 5,000.

Besides many of Two Thousand, One Thousand, and Five Hundred Pounds.

Besides many of £2,000, £1,000, and £500.

Country Correspondents may have Tickets and Shares sent them by remitting good Bills, payable at sight or of a short date. All Shares sold at the above Offices are stamped agreeable to Act of Parliament.

Country Correspondents can receive Tickets and Shares by sending reliable Bills, payable on demand or for a short term. All Shares sold at the mentioned Offices are stamped in accordance with the Act of Parliament.

Tickets registered at Six-pence each, and the earliest
Intelligence sent of their success.
*** Money for the Prizes will be paid at the above
Offices as soon as drawn.

Tickets registered at six pence each, and the earliest
notification sent of their success.
*** Prize money will be paid at the above
offices as soon as it's drawn.

(No. 50)
LOMBARD STREET.

(No. 50)
LOMBARD STREET.

January 1st, 1788

January 1, 1788

MESSRS. SHERGOLD and CO. most respectfully offer their sincere Thanks and grateful acknowledgements to a liberal and discerning Public for the very great Measure of Confidence and Favours recently added to the obligations they owe their Friends during a series of many Years and upon repeated Occasions.

MGentlemen. SHERGOLD and CO. sincerely thank and appreciate the generous and discerning public for the tremendous confidence and support they have received over many years and on numerous occasions.

Without adopting the Parade and Nonsense which renders some of their contemporaries ridiculous, they can make the best possible Appeal for the Integrity and Honor of their actions—an Appeal to the Voice and to the Judgment of the Public. They will not vaunt the Encouragement and Preference they have received from all Ranks, but leave the World to judge by Enquiry and the general Opinion how far they have distanced all Competitors in extent of Business and of universal Esteem.

Without adopting the showiness and foolishness that makes some of their peers seem absurd, they can make the strongest case for the integrity and honor of their actions—an appeal to the voice and judgment of the public. They won’t boast about the support and preference they've received from all levels of society but will allow the world to judge through inquiry and general opinion how much they have outpaced all competitors in the scope of their business and widespread respect.

The success of their House to Adventurers has kept Pace with the stability of its engagements. A great Number of CAPITAL PRIZES have been added to their former numerous catalogue, and in particular a 5,000l., paid to a respectable Shopkeeper in the Borough, who will readily bear Testimony to the Alacrity and Promptitude he experienced.

The success of their House to Adventurers has kept up with the stability of its commitments. A large number of BIG PRIZES have been added to their already extensive catalog, particularly a £5,000 prize paid to a reputable shopkeeper in the Borough, who will gladly attest to the speed and efficiency he experienced.

MESSRS. SHERGOLD and CO. acquaint the Subscribers to the IRISH LOTTERY that the Tickets to be given Gratis, agreeable to their Terms, will be ready to deliver on Thursday, the 17th of January inst., and they earnestly request their friends will call for and receive them before the 12th of February.

MESSRS. SHERGOLD and CO. inform the Subscribers to the IRISH LOTTERY that the Tickets to be given Gratis, according to their Terms, will be ready for delivery on Thursday, January 17th, and they kindly ask their friends to come by and pick them up before February 12th.

They hope their conduct will warrant them to expect a continuance of the Friendship and Recommendation of their Patrons in the ENGLISH LOTTERY, who may be assured that the same line of Rectitude will be strictly adhered to which has uniformly distinguished all their Proceedings.

They hope their actions will justify their expectation for the ongoing support and endorsement of their patrons in the ENGLISH LOTTERY, who can be assured that the same standard of integrity will be consistently maintained, as it has always defined their actions.

A PROPOSAL TO THE PUBLIC.

A PUBLIC PROPOSAL.

For the better Security of those who purchase SHARES of
LOTTERY TICKETS,

For the security of those who buy shares of
lottery tickets,

HORNSBY and CO., Licensed pursuant to Act of Parliament, at their old-established office, No. 26, Cornhill, ever anxious to merit the favours they so extensively receive from their friends in town and country, propose the following amendment of the Act for regulating the Sharing of Tickets.

HORNSBY and CO., licensed under the Act of Parliament, at their long-standing office, No. 26, Cornhill, always eager to deserve the support they continually receive from their friends in the city and countryside, propose the following amendment to the Act for regulating the Sharing of Tickets.

The Act, as it now stands, enables every Office Keeper to take away the Ticket (which is deposited at the time of sharing in the hands of the Commissioners) three days after the said Ticket is drawn; in which case the security is every way incomplete, because those purchasers of Shares who live at a distance from the Metropolis may not receive intelligence of the fate of the Ticket in time to make the demand before the said Ticket is received back from the Commissioners, and possibly disposed of. Whereas, if the Act extended the time for a certain number of weeks, there would be an opportunity for application to be made for each respective share before the ticket could be withdrawn.

The Act, as it currently stands, allows every Office Keeper to collect the Ticket (which is submitted to the Commissioners when shares are allocated) three days after the Ticket is drawn. This situation leaves the security incomplete because buyers of Shares who live far from the city might not learn about the Ticket's outcome in time to request it before it is returned to the Commissioners and potentially sold. If the Act extended the time for a few weeks, there would be a chance to apply for each respective share before the Ticket could be taken back.

To give, however, the friends of Hornsby and Co. every possible confidence in the fairness and integrity of their transactions, and in order to obviate the most distant suspicion of insecurity, they hereby publicly declare and engage that every ticket which is shared by them and deposited in the hands of the Commissioners, shall remain so deposited for one whole calendar Month after the drawing of the Lottery is finished, and that notwithstanding they will continue, as they always have done, to pay upon demand every share of a prize that may be drawn in the ensuing English Lottery, from a 20l. prize to a 20,000l.

To give the friends of Hornsby and Co. complete confidence in the fairness and integrity of their transactions, and to eliminate any hint of insecurity, they hereby publicly declare and promise that every ticket shared by them and deposited with the Commissioners will stay deposited for a full month after the Lottery drawing is completed. Furthermore, they will continue, as they always have, to pay on demand for every share of a prize that may be drawn in the upcoming English Lottery, ranging from a £20 prize to a £20,000 prize.

VICTUALLING OFFICE.

CATERING OFFICE.

29th December, 1787.

December 29, 1787.

THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give Notice, That there is money in the hands of the Treasurer of His Majesty’s Navy to pay the Principal and Interest of the Bills registered in the course of the Victualling for three months ending the 31st of January, 1787, in order that the Persons possessed of such Bills may bring them to this Office to be assigned for payment.

THE Commissioners for supplying His Majesty’s Navy hereby notify that there are funds available with the Treasurer of His Majesty’s Navy to pay the Principal and Interest on the Bills recorded for the Victualling for the three months ending January 31, 1787, so that those holding such Bills can bring them to this Office for payment.

And all persons who hold the said Bills are desired to subscribe their names and places of abode at the bottom of each Bill.

Everyone holding the mentioned Bills is asked to write their names and addresses at the bottom of each Bill.

VICTUALLING OFFICE.

CATERING OFFICE.

24th December, 1787.

December 24, 1787.

THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give Notice, That, on Tuesday the 8th of January next, they will be ready to receive Tenders in writing (sealed up), and treat with such persons as will undertake to supply Fresh Beef and Sea Provisions to his Majesty’s Ships and Vessels at Liverpool, which will be paid for by Bills in Course.

THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy are notifying that, on Tuesday, January 8th, they will be ready to accept written tenders (sealed) and negotiate with anyone willing to supply fresh beef and sea provisions to his Majesty’s ships and vessels in Liverpool, which will be paid for by bills in course.

The Conditions of the Contract may be seen at the Secretary’s Office, at this Office, or by applying to the Collector of His Majesty’s Customs, at Liverpool.

You can find the terms of the contract at the Secretary's Office, at this office, or by contacting the Collector of His Majesty's Customs in Liverpool.

And all persons who may think proper to make Tenders upon the said occasion are desired to take Notice, That, no Regard will be had to any Tender that shall not be delivered before 1 o’clock on the said 8th January next, nor unless the Person who makes the Tender, or some Person on his behalf, attends to answer for him when called for. And that none that contain extravagant prices upon some articles, and prices much inferior to the real value on others, will be considered as proper to be attended to.

Anyone who wants to submit a bid for this occasion is asked to note that any bid received after 1 o’clock on January 8th will not be considered, nor will it be accepted unless the person submitting the bid or someone representing them is present to respond when called. Additionally, bids that list unreasonable prices for some items and significantly lower prices for others will not be taken seriously.

CHELSEA HOSPITAL.

CHELSEA HOSPITAL.

Dec 28th, 1787.

Dec 28, 1787.

THESE are by Order of the Right Hon. my Lords and others, Commissioners for the Affairs of the Royal Hospital at Chelsea, to give Notice that all Out-Pensions (as well Lettermen as others) belonging to the said Hospital, residing in London or within twenty-five miles thereof, are required to appear personally at the Secretary’s Office in the said Hospital; and are required also, to appear regimentally on the respective days appointed for them as are hereafter mentioned, when attendance will be given from nine o’clock in the morning till three in the afternoon, in order to register their appearances, viz.:—

THESE are by Order of the Right Hon. my Lords and others, Commissioners for the Affairs of the Royal Hospital at Chelsea, to give notice that all Out-Pensioners (including Lettermen and others) associated with the hospital, living in London or within twenty-five miles of it, must appear in person at the Secretary’s Office at the hospital. They are also required to attend on the scheduled days mentioned below, when attendance will be taken from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon, in order to register their presence, namely:—

Thursday, Jan. 3rd, 1788.

Thursday, Jan 3, 1788.

The Pensioners from the 1st, 2nd, and late 3rd and 4th Troops of Horse Guards—Royal Horse Guards Blues; 3rd, 4th, and 7th Regiments of Horse; 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Regiments of Dragoon Guards; and all the Dragoons within the British Legion.

The pensioners from the 1st, 2nd, and former 3rd and 4th Troops of Horse Guards—Royal Horse Guards Blues; 3rd, 4th, and 7th Regiments of Horse; 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Regiments of Dragoon Guards; and all the Dragoons in the British Legion.

Friday, Jan. 4th.

Friday, January 4.

The First and Second Regiments of Foot Guards.

The First and Second Regiments of Foot Guards.

Saturday, Jan. 5th.

Saturday, Jan 5.

Those from the Third Regiment of Foot Guards, and the Pensioners from the First to the Thirteenth Regiments of Foot inclusive.

Those from the Third Regiment of Foot Guards, and the Pensioners from the First to the Thirteenth Regiments of Foot included.

Monday, Jan. 7th.

Monday, Jan 7.

Those from the Fourteenth to the Forty-fifth Regiments of Foot inclusive.

Those from the Fourteenth to the Forty-fifth Regiments of Foot, including both.

Tuesday, Jan. 8th.

Tuesday, January 8.

Those from the Forty-sixth to the Ninetieth Regiments of Foot inclusive.

Those from the Forty-sixth to the Ninetieth Regiments of Foot, inclusive.

Wednesday, Jan. 9th.

Wednesday, Jan 9.

Those from the Ninety-first to the One Hundred and Nineteenth Regiments of Foot inclusive, the Pensioners from Lord Strathaven’s, Major Waller’s, Olford’s, and Triik’s Corps, the Royal Garrison Battalion, Royal Irish Quick’s Rangers, Fencibles in North Britain, Cinque Ports and Lancashire Volunteers, with all the American and other corps. Those from the Militia, as also the Pensioners from the ten reduced Regiments of Marine, those from the broken Regiments of Foot, those discharged from the Scotch castles, the Independent Companies abroad, and those who have been In-pensioners of Chelsea Hospital, Lettermen and men at Ninepence per day.

Those from the Ninety-first to the One Hundred and Nineteenth Regiments of Foot, including the Pensioners from Lord Strathaven’s, Major Waller’s, Olford’s, and Triik’s Corps, the Royal Garrison Battalion, Royal Irish Quick’s Rangers, Fencibles in North Britain, Cinque Ports and Lancashire Volunteers, along with all the American and other corps. This includes those from the Militia, as well as the Pensioners from the ten reduced Regiments of Marine, those from the broken Regiments of Foot, those discharged from the Scottish castles, the Independent Companies overseas, and those who have been In-pensioners of Chelsea Hospital, Lettermen, and men earning Ninepence per day.

And that all Out-pensioners (as well Lettermen as others) belonging to the said Hospital, who live at a greater distance than 25 miles from London, and those in Scotland and Ireland, are hereby required and commanded that after the 25th of December, and after every succeeding 25th of June and December, till further orders, they forthwith apply themselves to one of His Majesty’s Justices of the Peace in the neighbourhood where they reside, and make the following affidavit, which the said magistrate for the county, city, borough, or riding, before whom the Pensioners appear shall sign and date, viz.:—

And all Out-pensioners (both Lettermen and others) associated with the Hospital, who live more than 25 miles from London, along with those in Scotland and Ireland, are required to do the following: after December 25th, and every subsequent June 25th and December 25th until further notice, they must immediately go to one of His Majesty’s Justices of the Peace in their local area and make the following affidavit. The magistrate from the county, city, borough, or riding where the Pensioners appear will sign and date it, namely:—

  came before me, one of his Majesty’s Justices of the Peace for the County of   and made oath that he was admitted an Out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital on the   day of   17 from the   Regiment of   commanded by   was then aged about   years, served in the army   year, was discharged for   and that he is no otherwise provided for by the Government but as a Pensioner of the said College; and now lives in the Parish of   in the County of  . Sworn before me this   day of   17.

came before me, one of his Majesty’s Justices of the Peace for the County of and swore that he was admitted as an Out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital on the day of 17 from the Regiment of commanded by was then about years old, served in the army for year, was discharged for and that he is not otherwise provided for by the Government except as a Pensioner of the said College; and now lives in the Parish of in the County of . Sworn before me this day of 17.

The Affidavits, drawn according to the above form, sworn before, dated and attested by a magistrate, is to be put up in a cover, and sent by the General Post (directed thus): To the Right Honourable the Paymaster General, at the Horse Guards, London; and that counterparts or duplicates of the said affidavits are to be reserved by the Out-pensioners respectively, to be exhibited to such persons as shall be directed to pay them; that they may be satisfied that all such as may claim Out-pensions are the real persons entitled to receive the same.

The affidavits, prepared following the format mentioned above, sworn before a magistrate, dated, and signed, should be placed in an envelope and sent via regular mail (addressed as follows): To the Right Honourable the Paymaster General, at the Horse Guards, London. Additionally, copies or duplicates of these affidavits should be kept by the Out-pensioners to show to anyone authorized to pay them, ensuring that all individuals claiming Out-pensions are the rightful recipients.

To the end that the said Commissioners for the affairs of the Hospital may be satisfied that they are the same persons who have passed their examinations, the Pensioners are hereby further directed that such of them as have served, and have been discharged from any of the Regiments, or Independent Companies of Invalids, are not to mention in their affidavits such Regiment or Company in which they served, but the Regiment, Troop, or Corps of the Army from which they were first discharged, and recommended and received to Chelsea Hospital.

To ensure that the Commissioners for the Hospital are convinced they are the same individuals who passed their examinations, the Pensioners are further instructed that those who have served and been discharged from any of the Regiments or Independent Companies of Invalids should not mention in their affidavits the specific Regiment or Company they served in, but rather the Regiment, Troop, or Corps of the Army from which they were originally discharged, recommended, and received into Chelsea Hospital.

And as the general payments in Great Britain and Ireland at the end of the ensuing six months are chiefly regulated by the places of residence mentioned by the Pensioners, who are mustered at Chelsea in person, or in the body of the affidavits of such as live at a distance, it is hereby ordered and directed that no Pensioner who shall change the place of his abode given at his muster, or specified in his Affidavit aforesaid, and who may apply for his pension, except to the offices of Excise nearest such places of abode, shall receive the same unless it appear by the Certificates of respectable persons that such removal was through some unavoidable necessity, which he nor they could not foresee or prevent.

And since the general payments in Great Britain and Ireland over the next six months are mainly determined by the places of residence provided by the Pensioners, who are present at Chelsea in person, or noted in the affidavits of those living far away, it is hereby ordered that no Pensioner who changes their residence from what was stated at their muster, or listed in their aforementioned Affidavit, and who applies for their pension, except at the nearest Excise offices to their new residence, shall receive it unless it is shown by certificates from credible individuals that the move was due to some unavoidable necessity that neither the Pensioner nor those individuals could have predicted or prevented.

Lastly, it is notified that none will be entered upon the Pay List of the said Hospital, or be thought entitled to receive any benefit therefrom, who shall not act agreeable to these orders and direction.

Lastly, please note that no one will be included on the Pay List of the Hospital or be considered entitled to receive any benefits from it unless they follow these orders and directions.

SAMUEL ESTWICK, Secretary and Register.

SAMUEL ESTWICK, Secretary and Registrar.

NAVY OFFICE.

NAVY OFFICE.

Dec. 10, 1787.

Dec. 10, 1787.

THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give notice that, on Thursday, the 3rd of Jan. next, at one o’clock, they will be ready to treat with such persons as may be willing to contract for supplying the Slop Office here with Deal Cases for packing Slops.

THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy hereby announce that, on Thursday, January 3rd, at 1:00 PM, they will be prepared to negotiate with anyone interested in contracting to supply the Slop Office here with Deal Cases for packing Slops.

The Particulars may be seen in the lobby here. No letter will be received as a tender unless the writer, or an agent for him, attends; nor will any be received after twelve o’clock.

You can find the details in the lobby here. No letters will be accepted unless the writer or their representative is present; also, no letters will be accepted after twelve o’clock.

NAVY OFFICE.

Navy Office.

December 29, 1787.

December 29, 1787.

THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give notice that all Bills registered in the Course of the Navy for the Months of November and December, 1786, and January, 1787, are ordered to be paid in money, that all persons who are possessed of the same may bring them to this office to be assigned to the Treasurer of the Navy for payment.

THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy hereby announce that all bills registered in the Navy for the months of November and December, 1786, and January, 1787, are to be paid in cash. Anyone holding these bills is requested to bring them to this office to be assigned to the Treasurer of the Navy for payment.

All persons who hold the said Bills are to subscribe their names and place of abode at the bottom of each Bill.

Everyone who has these Bills needs to sign their name and provide their address at the bottom of each Bill.

VICTUALLING OFFICE.

Food Supply Office.

27th November, 1787.

November 27, 1787.

THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give Notice, That, on Tuesday, the 29th of January next, they will be to receive Tenders in writing (sealed up), and treat with such persons as will undertake to furnish their Agent at Gibraltar with whatever sums of money the service of His Majesty’s Victualling that Place may thereafter require.

THE Commissioners for Supplying His Majesty’s Navy would like to announce that on Tuesday, January 29th, they will be accepting sealed written bids and negotiating with anyone willing to provide their agent in Gibraltar with the necessary funds for the supply needs of His Majesty’s Victualling services at that location.

The Conditions of the Contract may be seen at the Secretary’s Office. And all persons who may think proper to make tenders upon the said Occasion are desired to take notice that no regard will be had to any Tender that shall not be delivered to the Board before one o’clock on the said 29th January next; nor unless the person who makes the Tender, or some person on his behalf, attends to answer for him when called for.

You can view the Contract Conditions at the Secretary’s Office. All individuals who wish to submit proposals for this occasion should note that any proposal not delivered to the Board by 1:00 PM on January 29th will not be considered; nor will any proposal be accepted unless the person submitting it, or someone on their behalf, is present to respond when called upon.


FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE,
Yesterday arrived with the Mails from Holland and
Flanders.

FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE,
Yesterday, we received the mail from Holland and
Flanders.

Warsaw, Dec. 5.

Warsaw, Dec 5.

THE Waywodes of Volchinia and Podolia have sent three deputies here to make representations to the King and the permanent Council, with respect to the delivery of the corn that has been demanded by the Russian Army encamped in Poland. These Deputies have had an audience at the last meeting of the Supreme Council, at which they solicited, “That the King and Supreme Council would be pleased to devise means, which by preventing famine, terminating the grievances of the inhabitants, and quieting dissensions, might strengthen and give efficacy to the resolutions of the nobility, the more so as these resolutions are consonant to the principles of justice and equity.”

THE Waywodes of Volchinia and Podolia have sent three representatives here to talk to the King and the permanent Council about delivering the corn requested by the Russian Army stationed in Poland. These representatives had a meeting at the last session of the Supreme Council, where they asked, “We hope that the King and Supreme Council will consider ways to prevent famine, address the concerns of the local people, and resolve conflicts, which would strengthen and support the decisions of the nobility, especially since these decisions align with principles of justice and fairness.”

These Waywodes had a meeting in pursuance of these resolutions: “For chusing an appointed place to establish a general magazine, to which every person might bring whatever he possesses superfluous, and deliver it to the Directors of the Stores. The Troops of the Republic shall be provided for out of this general deposit of the country, after which what remains will be sold to the Russians at the market price, agreeable to the declaration of Count Romanzow, upon the entry into Poland.”

These Waywodes held a meeting to discuss these resolutions: “To choose a designated location to set up a general storage facility where anyone can bring their excess belongings and give them to the Directors of the Stores. The Republic's troops will be supplied from this country's general deposit, and any remaining goods will be sold to the Russians at market price, in accordance with Count Romanzow's declaration upon entering Poland.”

Count Romanzow has taken possession of Talzyn, nine miles from the frontiers of Turkey, and the army encamped in Poland under his command will winter in the neighbourhood of that place. The Waywode of Russian Lithuania, Count Petocki, has established his general quarters at Mohibow. This patriotic vigilant General visits all the advance posts in person.

Count Romanzow has taken control of Talzyn, which is nine miles from the Turkish border, and the army stationed in Poland under his command will spend the winter near that location. The Waywode of Russian Lithuania, Count Petocki, has set up his main headquarters in Mohibow. This dedicated and alert General personally visits all the forward posts.

By accounts from our frontiers we learn that eleven commanders who served in the last unsuccessful attack upon Kinburn, and to whose imprudence the failure of this enterprise was attributed, have been executed; their heads were cut off and exhibited at the gate of the seraglio, upon spears.

By reports from our frontiers, we learn that eleven commanders who were involved in the last unsuccessful attack on Kinburn, whose recklessness is blamed for the failure of this mission, have been executed; their heads were chopped off and displayed on spears at the gate of the palace.

Frankfort, Dec. 14.—On the 11th of this month the reformers established in this city have got permission to follow the duties of their religion in private houses, until their churches shall be finished.

Frankfort, Dec. 14.—On the 11th of this month, the reformers established in this city received permission to practice their religion in private homes until their churches are completed.

The Elector of Mentz has ordained for the future that Lutherans shall be capable of civil employments, and he has nominated as Counsellor of the present Regency Graberg, a Lutheran Doctor. This is the first example of this kind since 1709.

The Elector of Mentz has decided that in the future, Lutherans will be eligible for civil jobs, and he has appointed Graberg, a Lutheran Doctor, as a Counsellor in the current Regency. This is the first instance of this kind since 1709.

Constantinople, Nov. 10.—On the 30th of October there was a grand meeting of the principal ministers for examining the Dispatches that were brought by two couriers, the one from Vienna and the other from Paris; the result of which is that the Porte answers, “That the restoration of a durable peace must be impossible as long as Russia keeps possession of the Crimea, and the chief article of the preliminaries must be that Russia do consent to the re-establishment of the new Chan in all the rights of sovereignty which that prince may claim upon Little Tartary by virtue of his Highness’s proclamation.”

Constantinople, Nov. 10.—On October 30th, there was a significant meeting of the main ministers to review the dispatches delivered by two couriers, one from Vienna and the other from Paris. The outcome was that the Porte responded, “Achieving a lasting peace is impossible as long as Russia maintains control of Crimea. The key point of any preliminary agreements must be that Russia agrees to restore the new Khan's full sovereign rights over Little Tartary as claimed in His Highness’s proclamation.”

Paris, Dec. 25.—The Commissioners appointed for the Edict of the Protestants have not as yet concluded their business, although they are very assiduous.

Paris, Dec. 25.—The Commissioners assigned to the Edict of the Protestants have not finished their work yet, even though they are working very diligently.

Mr. de Calonne during his administration created sixty offices of stockbrokers for transacting financial business, at the rate of 100,000 livres each, who had individually a salary of 5000 livres. It is in agitation to augment these offices to 100 by adding 40 more.

Mr. de Calonne, during his time in charge, established sixty stockbroker offices for handling financial transactions, each costing 100,000 livres, with each broker earning a salary of 5,000 livres. There are plans to increase these offices to 100 by adding 40 more.

Rotterdam, Dec. 25.—Friday morning the Commissioners of his Highness the Stadtholder arrived here, for changing the regency: they landed with discharge of cannon and a great concourse of people; they were complimented by the burgomasters.

Rotterdam, Dec. 25.—On Friday morning, the Commissioners of His Highness the Stadtholder arrived here to change the regency. They landed to the sound of cannon fire and a large crowd of people; the burgomasters welcomed them with compliments.


This morning the following ODE for the New Year, written by Mr. Wharton and set to Music by Mr. Parsons, will be performed at St James’s.

This morning, the following ODE for the New Year's, written by Mr. Wharton and set to music by Mr. Parsons, will be performed at St. James’s.

I.

I.

RUDE was the heap, and solid evidence,
That first raised its proud roof On Windsor's majestic crown, in a state of war; The Norman tyrant's envious grip The giant fabric proudly planned; With recent victory excitement,
"On this grand slope," he shouted, "A grand fortress, ominous and vast,
I will spread my fears to the distant hills,
Its strong shade will cast Far over the wide expanse below,
Where the winds blow over that great river and fill it completely With colorful greenery or with golden crops,
The most beautiful fields that adorn my new land,
And London’s Towers that catch the watchman's gaze "I will watch in conscious awe as my defenses reach the sky.”

II.

II.

Unchanged through many brave generations
Stood the rough dome in a state of fallen grace; Still wearing its angry, defiant frown, Although monarchs maintained their authority internally,
Still whispered with the sound of battle The deep, gloomy gateway arch,
And armed figures in airy lines,
Bending over the battlements with their bows,
And blood-stained banners crowned its hostile head.
And often its old walls wore The harsh scars of conflict remain,
What time, set up in the nearby meadow The angry Barons lined up in bright formation Their feudal groups to limit oppressive power,
And, joined together to restore a Briton's birthright,
From John's hesitant hands came the weight of freedom.

III.

III.

Look, the King who adorned his shield With lilies picked on Cressy’s field Lifted from its foundation, the decaying Norman structure. New glory covered the joyful slope,
The portals rose with a wider span, And Valour’s gentle talent emerged,
Here he displayed his grandeur and trained the pall Of victory through the decorated hall;
And War was dressed for a time in beautiful attire,
In the midst of military displays; While Beauty's gaze judged the winner, And radiated a positive influence on heroic deeds.
Not long after, Henry’s passionate devotion to breathe A softer charm over the scenes below,
Raised in the watery glade, his classic shrine, And called his young squire to court the eager Nine.

IV.

IV.

To this imperial throne to offer Its pride is supreme, and it blends nobly. British Brilliance with Attic Art.
Proud Castle, to your bannered halls,
Look! The picture commands her radiant powers. Their bold historic groups convey; She bids the glowing window,
Along your lofty vaulted Fane,
Shed the faint glow of light that is brilliantly clear.—
Such peaceful skills may still engage Their patron’s care; but if the anger Of War to awaken the new year,
Britain, rise up and awaken the sleeping fire,
Vengeful, your anger sparks back to life quickly,
Or armed to strike in mercy, spare the enemy,
And raise your thundering hand, but then hold back the strike.
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Optical Exhibition.—No. 331, facing Somerset House, Strand, by his Majesty’s Special Appointment, the various beautiful and almost incredible effects of Mr. Jones’ new invented Optical Instrument, for copying drawings, paintings, natural flowers, insects, &c., it giving the true likeness on paper, to any size, either as large as life, or as small as miniature, in one minute, with all their proper colours, either by day or candle light. Price Two Guineas each, with proper directions. Likewise the Reflecting Mirror, at One Guinea, for taking perfect Likenesses, Landscapes, &c., and several other curious Optical and Mathematical Instruments of New Construction. Admittance One Shilling each, to the Exhibition, which will be returned on purchasing either of the above instruments, or sitting for an impression Plate Likeness.—N.B.—Likenesses taken in miniature, &c.

Light Show.—No. 331, facing Somerset House, Strand, by special appointment from His Majesty, showcasing the amazing and nearly unbelievable effects of Mr. Jones’ newly invented Optical Instrument. This device can copy drawings, paintings, natural flowers, insects, etc., providing an accurate representation on paper, in any size—whether life-sized or miniature—in just one minute, capturing all their true colors, either in daylight or candlelight. Price: Two Guineas each, including detailed instructions. Additionally, the Reflecting Mirror is available for One Guinea, perfect for capturing accurate likenesses, landscapes, etc., along with several other intriguing Optical and Mathematical Instruments of new design. Admission is One Shilling each to the Exhibition, which will be refunded with the purchase of any of the above instruments or for sitting for an impression plate likeness.—N.B.—Miniature likenesses, etc.

Please to observe—facing Somerset House.

Please observe—facing Somerset House.

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VICKERY respectfully informs the ladies that he has new for sale an extensive and admirable assortment of Transparent Tetes, as may be seen by visiting either his Western or Eastern Magazines. The taste, fancy, elegance, convenience, and accommodation of these articles have already rendered them the greatest favourites of every Court of Europe, and of numbers in Asia, Africa, and America. Nothing can prove their utility more than their being so secured to the head that the rudest wind will not in the least derange them. Ladies who order these beautiful articles are requested to describe whether for young, middle aged, or elderly ladies. No. 6, Tavistock Street, and No. 19, Bishopsgate Street, near the London Tavern.

VICKERY respectfully informs the ladies that he has new for sale an extensive and impressive assortment of Transparent Têtes, which can be seen by visiting either his Western or Eastern Magazines. The style, design, elegance, convenience, and practicality of these items have made them the top choice among every Court in Europe, as well as many in Asia, Africa, and America. Their usefulness is proven by the fact that they are so securely attached to the head that even the strongest wind won't disturb them. Ladies who order these beautiful items are asked to specify whether they are for young, middle-aged, or elderly ladies. No. 6, Tavistock Street and No. 19, Bishopsgate Street, near the London Tavern.

N.B.—He has also the greatest assortment of braids ready made at all prices.

N.B.—He also has the largest selection of ready-made braids available at all prices.

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The cheapness, elegance, end durability of the FASHIONABLE FURS sold at Melanscheg’s Manufactory, No. 333 in the Strand, accounts for the number of nobility and gentry that daily honor him with their preference, and as he makes it his chief study to ensure the most distinguished encouragement by the superiority of his goods, we hesitate not to declare that we should have been surprised had he fail’d of receiving the most flattering encouragement. In patronizing works or articles of merit, the public most eminently display their taste, spirit, and liberality.

The affordability, style, and durability of the FASHIONABLE FURS sold at Melanscheg's Factory, No. 333 in the Strand, explain why so many nobles and well-off people choose to shop there daily. Since he focuses on providing the highest quality goods to gain the best support from his customers, we would have been surprised if he hadn't received such positive feedback. By supporting quality products, the public showcases their taste, enthusiasm, and generosity.

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LOVE, Perfumer to Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cumberland, and the principal Nobility, respectfully informs his customers and the Public that he is removed from No. 10, in the Haymarket, to next door, which is numbered 12, where every article is prepared in the above line superior in a degree to any ever vended before in this kingdom, which he sells on such low terms as will make it well worth the attention of every economist to give his articles a trial. The great encouragement he has met with for several years enables him to deduct the stamps, notwithstanding his reduced prices, without the least diminution of quality, and he returns the money for any articles that do not recommend themselves. East and West India orders speedily executed, with the most saleable articles, and properly manufactured for the climate.

LOVE, Perfumer to Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cumberland, and the main Nobility, respectfully informs his customers and the public that he has moved from No. 10 in the Haymarket to next door at No. 12, where every item is prepared at a higher standard than anything previously available in this kingdom. He offers these products at such low prices that every budget-conscious shopper should consider giving them a try. The strong support he has received over the years allows him to deduct the stamps, despite his lower prices, without sacrificing quality, and he offers a money-back guarantee for any items that don’t meet expectations. Orders from the East and West Indies are promptly fulfilled, with the most popular products being manufactured appropriately for the climate.

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MARRIED.

Hitched.

Yesterday, at Walthamstone, by special licence, Samuel Long, Esq., of London, to Lady Jane Maitland, daughter of the Earl of Lauderdale.

Yesterday, at Walthamstone, with a special license, Samuel Long, Esq., from London, married Lady Jane Maitland, daughter of the Earl of Lauderdale.


DIED.

PASSED AWAY.

Yesterday morning, Mr. John Berens, merchant, in Broad Street.

Yesterday morning, Mr. John Berens, merchant, on Broad Street.

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SHIP NEWS.

SHIPPING NEWS.

The Hope, Walsh, from Waterford to London, was driven on shore in a heavy gale, the 22d instant, in Youghall harbour. It is feared the ship will go to pieces, but the cargo will be saved.

The Hope, Walsh, from Waterford to London, was pushed ashore during a strong storm on the 22nd of this month in Youghall harbor. There are concerns that the ship will break apart, but the cargo should be saved.

Deal, Dec. 30. Wind E. Remain, the Wasp sloop, Cockatrice and Nimble cutters, and India pilot.

Deal, Dec. 30. Wind E. Remain, the Wasp sloop, Cockatrice and Nimble cutters, and India pilot.

Gravesend, Dec. 29. Passed by, the Young Aaron, Fine, and Two Brothers, from Embden; Tado, Skapon, from Stettin; Four Brothers, Gillingham, from Boulogne; Dogandraught Dados and Watchful Eye, Omarter, from Dantzick; Gibraltar’s Durno, from Alicant; and Duchess Devere, Ofree, from Facom.

Gravesend, Dec. 29. Passed by, the Young Aaron, Fine, and Two Brothers from Embden; Tado, Skapon from Stettin; Four Brothers, Gillingham from Boulogne; Dogandraught Dados and Watchful Eye, Omarter from Dantzick; Gibraltar’s Durno from Alicant; and Duchess Devere, Ofree from Facom.

Sailed, the Frederick, Condron, for Caen.

Sailed, the Frederick, Condron, for Caen.

Gravesend, Dec. 30. Passed by, the Vrow Tyche, Levice, from Groningen; Young Eyder, Swartz, from Embden; and Vrow Helena, Hearse, from Settin.

Gravesend, Dec. 30. Passed by were the Vrow Tyche, Levice, from Groningen; Young Eyder, Swartz, from Embden; and Vrow Helena, Hearse, from Settin.

Portsmouth, Dec. 30. Arrived, the Lou, Losseter, from Havre de Grace; Hopewell, Howard, from Dover; London, Johnson, from London; and Brothers, Price, from Boston.

Portsmouth, Dec. 30. Arrived, the Lou, Losseter, from Havre de Grace; Hopewell, Howard, from Dover; London, Johnson, from London; and Brothers, Price, from Boston.


Mails.
Arrived.

Emails.
Arrived.

Two Holland, one French, one Flanders, one Irish.

Two from Holland, one from France, one from Flanders, one from Ireland.

Due.

Due date.

One Irish.

One Irish person.


SHIPS ARRIVED.

SHIPS HAVE ARRIVED.

At Liverpool: Commerce, Manchester, from Memel; William Joy, from Riga; Mary Anne Priestman, from Virginia; and Ally, Dodson, from Dominica.

At Liverpool: Commerce, Manchester, from Memel; William Joy, from Riga; Mary Anne Priestman, from Virginia; and Ally Dodson, from Dominica.

At Georgia: William and Mary, Hannah, from London.

At Georgia: William and Mary, Hannah, from London.

At Bilboa: Liberty, Wilkins, from Boston, and Swallow, Huelin, from Jersey.

At Bilboa: Liberty, Wilkins from Boston, and Swallow, Huelin from Jersey.

At Bonny: Golden Age, Jackson and Brothers, Abram, from Liverpool.

At Bonny: Golden Age, Jackson and Brothers, Abram, from Liverpool.

At Pool: Industry, Wooley; Fame, Bishop; Hebe, Salmon; and Emulation, Dempsted, from Newfoundland. Success, Adams, and Swiftstreet, from Trepani; and Friends. Kitcat, from Alicant.

At Pool: Industry, Wooley; Fame, Bishop; Hebe, Salmon; and Emulation, Dempsted, from Newfoundland. Success, Adams, and Swiftstreet, from Trepani; and Friends. Kitcat, from Alicant.

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PRICES Of STOCKS.

STOCK PRICES.

  • Bank Stock.
  • 3 per cent. red., 7618.
  • 3 per cent. con., 7714 38
  • 3 per cent., 1726.
  • 4 per cent., 9518 14.
  • 5 per cent.
  • Long Ann. 227—16ths.
  • Consolidated Ann. 1334-13-16ths.
  • South Sea Stock.
  • Old Annuities, 7514.
  • New Annuities.
  • 3 per cent., 1751.
  • Indian Stock.
  • Annuities.
  • Bonds.
  • Navy and Victualling Bills, 218.
  • Lot. Tickets, 16l., 13s. 6d. & 13.
  • Exchequer Bills.

TO be lett, at the East End of Bermondsey Church-yard, Southwark, a House and Garden, with Stabling for two horses.

TO be rented, at the East End of Bermondsey Churchyard, Southwark, a house and garden, with space for two horses.

For Particulars, enquire of Mr. Hill on the Premises.

For details, ask Mr. Hill on site.

WANTED, for a School in the Country, an Assistant capable of teaching writing and arithmetic in all their branches. He must be a perfect master of English Grammar, and bring an undeniable character from his last place in a school.

WANTED, for a school in the country, an assistant who can teach writing and math in all its forms. He must be a thorough master of English grammar and provide a solid reference from his previous school.

Letters, post paid, with specimens and terms, directed to C. H., No. 81, Cornhill, will be duly noticed.

Letters, with prepaid postage, including samples and terms, sent to C. H., No. 81, Cornhill, will be acknowledged.

SMOAKED SALMON and DUTCH HERRINGS, FINE NEW FRENCH OLIVES, and NEW REIN DEER TONGUES.

Smoked salmon and Dutch herring, fine new French olives, and new reindeer tongues.

VERY Fine Smoaked Salmon, Welsh Oysters, Newfoundland Cods’ Sound, Red Herrings, Dutch Herrings, Dutch Beef, Hambro’ Beef in ribs and rolls for grating, Rein Deer Tongues, Westphalia Hams, Portugal Hams, and Westmoreland Hams.

VERY Fine Smoked Salmon, Welsh Oysters, Newfoundland Cod, Red Herring, Dutch Herring, Dutch Beef, Ham from Hamburg in ribs and rolls for grating, Reindeer Tongues, Westphalian Ham, Portuguese Ham, and Westmoreland Ham.

Westphalia Tongues, Bologna Tongues, with spices and garlic; Bologna Sausages, with and without garlic; exceeding fine-flavoured Gorgona Anchovies, fine Capers, superfine Sallard Oil.

Westphalia ham, Bologna sausage, with spices and garlic; Bologna sausages, both with and without garlic; incredibly flavorful Gorgona anchovies, top-quality capers, and premium salad oil.

Very curious new French Olives, Lemon Pickle, Camp Vinegar, Elder Vinegar, Devonshire Sauce, Zoobdity Match, with a great variety of rich Sauces for Fish, Beefsteaks, &c.

Very interesting new French olives, lemon pickle, camp vinegar, elder vinegar, Devonshire sauce, zoobdity match well with a wide range of rich sauces for fish, beef steaks, etc.

At Burgess’s Warehouse, No. 107, the corner of the Savoy Steps, in the Strand.

At Burgess’s Warehouse, 107, at the corner of the Savoy Steps, on the Strand.

N.B. Hambro’ Sour Crout in any quantity.

N.B. Hambro’ Sauerkraut in any amount.

NEXT PRESENTATIONS TO LIVINGS.

NEXT PRESENTATIONS TO AUDIENCES.

TO be sold, the next Presentation to a Rectory in the county of Derby, of the annual value of Four Hundred Pounds, the Incumbent eighty years of age and upwards. And also the next Presentation to a Rectory of the annual value of Two Hundred and Eighty Pounds, in the county of Somerset, within twenty miles of Bath and Bristol; the Incumbent seventy years of age.

TO be sold, the next opportunity to appoint someone to a Rectory in Derbyshire, worth Four Hundred Pounds a year, with the current holder being eighty or older. Also available is the next opportunity to appoint someone to a Rectory valued at Two Hundred and Eighty Pounds a year, located in Somerset, within twenty miles of Bath and Bristol; the current holder is seventy years old.

For particulars and farther information, apply to Messrs. Graham, Lincoln’s Inn.

For details and more information, contact Messrs. Graham, Lincoln’s Inn.

MIDWIFERY

Midwifery

DR. KROHN will commence a New COURSE of LECTURES on the Theory and Practice of Midwifery and the Diseases incident to Women and Children, on Wednesday, the 9th of January, at a Quarter past Ten o’clock in the Morning, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close; and at his house at Four o’clock in the Afternoon.

DR. Krohn will begin a new series of lectures on the Theory and Practice of Midwifery and the health issues related to Women and Children, on Wednesday, January 9th, at 10:15 AM, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close; and at his home at 4:00 PM.

Proposals may be had of the Apothecary’s Shop of St. Bartholomew’s Hospital, at the Middlesex Hospital, and at the Doctor’s, in Southampton Street, Strand.

Proposals can be obtained from the Apothecary’s Shop at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital, at the Middlesex Hospital, and at the Doctor’s office on Southampton Street, Strand.

ANATOMICAL LECTURES.

ANATOMY LECTURES.

MR. JOHN ABERNETHY, Assistant-Surgeon to Bartholomew’s Hospital, will begin a COURSE of ANATOMICAL LECTURES, at One o’clock on Saturday, the 19th of January, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close. Whose proposals may be had.

MR. JOHN ABERNETHY, Assistant Surgeon at Bartholomew’s Hospital, will start a series of anatomy lectures at 1:00 PM on Saturday, January 19th, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close. You can get his proposals.

FREEHOLD IN ESSEX.

Freehold property in Essex.

TO be Sold by Private Contract, a substantial new built brick Dwelling House, consisting of seven Rooms and a Dressing Closet, two Cellars, a Wash-house, with sink and lead pump, well supplied with soft water; large Kitchen Garden, Chaise House, and two-stall Stable, and large Yard; pleasantly situated, eight miles from town, one from Ilford, and four from Romford. For further particulars, enquire of Mr. Wood, at the Red Lion, Ilford; and at No. 59, Houndsditch.

TO be sold by private contract, a newly built brick house featuring seven rooms and a dressing closet, two cellars, a washhouse with a sink and lead pump, well stocked with soft water; a large kitchen garden, a carriage house, and a two-stall stable, along with a spacious yard; conveniently located eight miles from town, one mile from Ilford, and four miles from Romford. For more details, please contact Mr. Wood at the Red Lion in Ilford, or at No. 59, Houndsditch.

To FAMILIES FURNISHING KITCHENS.

To Families Designing Kitchens.

STONE and Co., No. 134, Oxford Street, and No. 125, Leadenhall Street, Manufactors of Double Block Tin and Iron Kitchen Furniture, beg leave to inform the public that they have greatly improved their Sets of Tin Ware, which renders it the most wholesome and cheapest furniture in use, and preferable to others offered to the public, the whole being made of Block Tin.

SMood and Co., No. 134, Oxford Street, and No. 125, Leadenhall Street, manufacturers of double block tin and iron kitchen furniture, would like to let the public know that they have significantly upgraded their sets of tinware, making it the most affordable and healthiest kitchen furniture available, and better than other options out there, all made from block tin.

The following forms a complete Set, which will be replaced with new for 2l. 1s. per ann.

The following is a complete set, which will be replaced with a new one for £2. 1s. per year.

  l. s. d.
Tea Kettle 0 5 0
Coffee and Chocolate pots and mill 0 6 0
Set of Saucepans 1 1 0
Set of Stewpans 1 5 0
Set of Soup pots 1 3 0
Carp or Fish Kettle 0 14 0
Turbot ditto, BT. 0 14 0
Boiling Pot, BT. 0 12 0
Dutch oven, BT. 0 4 6
Cheese Toaster, BT. 0 3 6
Cullender and Beer pot 0 2 6
Frying pan and Gridiron 0 6 6
Spice box and grater 0 3 6
Bread grater 0 1 0
Flour and pepper box 0 1 6
Dripping pan and baster 0 5 0
Slice and gravy spoon 0 3 0
Skimmer and ladle 0 3 0
Set of skewers 0 2 0
Two Tart and 12 patty pans 0 5 6
Six table one egg spoon 0 4 6
Two scollops and tinder box 0 2 0
  8 8 0

N.B. The sets of Iron Furniture consists of the same number of articles, and such as are not made of iron are filled up with Block Tin. Families in the country wishing to be served with any of the above will have their orders punctually executed, and the Tin Ware will be sent free of carriage. Warm and cold baths to sell or let.

N.B. The sets of Iron Furniture include the same number of items, and those not made of iron are filled with Block Tin. Families in the countryside wanting to purchase any of the above will have their orders promptly fulfilled, and the Tin Ware will be delivered free of charge. Warm and cold baths are available for sale or rent.

London, 26 December, 1787.

London, December 26, 1787.

IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES.
With Benefit of Survivorship.

IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES.
With Survivor Benefits.

THE subscribers to the Life Annuities established in Ireland in the year 1773, who are to be paid in London, may receive six months’ annuity due at Christmas last at Messrs. Bolderos, Adey, Lushington, and Bolderos, Bankers, No. 30, Cornhill.

THE subscribers to the Life Annuities set up in Ireland in 1773, who are to be paid in London, can collect the six months' worth of annuity due last Christmas from Messrs. Bolderos, Adey, Lushington, and Bolderos, Bankers, located at No. 30, Cornhill.

And also the subscribers to the Life Annuities established in Ireland 1775, who are to be paid in London, may receive six months’ annuity due at Christmas last at the same place, in the following manner, viz.:—

And also the subscribers to the Life Annuities set up in Ireland in 1775, who are to be paid in London, can receive the six months' annuity due last Christmas at the same place, in the following way, namely:—

The first class in each (consisting of nominees of the age of forty years and upwards), from the 15th January to the 18th ditto, both days inclusive, from ten in the forenoon until two in the afternoon.

The first class in each (made up of nominees aged forty and older) will take place from January 15th to January 18th, both days included, from 10 AM to 2 PM.

The second class in each (consisting of nominees of the age of twenty years and upwards, but under forty), from the 22nd of January to the 25th ditto, both days inclusive.

The second class in each (made up of nominees aged twenty years and older, but under forty) will be from January 22nd to January 25th, both days included.

The third class in each (consisting of nominees under the age of twenty years) from the 29th January to the 1st February, both days inclusive; and from the 5th ditto to the 8th ditto, both days inclusive.

The third group in each (made up of nominees under twenty years old) is from January 29th to February 1st, including both days; and from the 5th of the same month to the 8th of the same month, including both days.

Those of each class remaining unpaid will be paid every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday following, during the same hours.

Those in each class who haven't been paid will receive their payment every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday following, at the same hours.

The debentures to be produced, and a certificate of the life of the nominee, otherwise a personal appearance will be required; and it is particularly requested, upon the demise of the nominee, that the debentures may be delivered in as above, to be transmitted to Ireland, to render the list of Deaths complete for the future benefit and regulation of each class, and as the earliest information should be obtained of the occurrences which affect a reversionary property wherein so many individuals are concerned. It is further requested of any person who may discover any fraud or imposition on these annuities, to give notice thereof, with all convenient speed, to the Deputy Vice-Treasurer, Treasury Chamber, Dublin, or to Messrs. Bolderos, Adey, Lushington, and Bolderos.

The debentures need to be produced, along with a certificate confirming the nominee's life; otherwise, a personal appearance will be required. It's important to request that, upon the nominee's passing, the debentures be submitted as mentioned above, so they can be sent to Ireland to complete the list of deaths for the future benefit and regulation of each class. Early information should be gathered about events that impact a reversionary property that involves many individuals. Additionally, anyone who discovers any fraud or deceit regarding these annuities is requested to promptly notify the Deputy Vice-Treasurer at the Treasury Chamber in Dublin, or reach out to Messrs. Bolderos, Adey, Lushington, and Bolderos.

The Public are requested to attend on the days allotted for the payment of the different classes, and to take notice that, in case any person who by the intent of the Act of Parliament providing for the payment of these annuities shall neglect to demand the same for the space of three years from the receipt of their last dividend, he or she shall for ever lose and forfeit the same, as if his or her respective nominee had been dead at the commencement of the said three years.

The public is asked to come on the designated days to make payments for the different classes, and to be aware that if anyone, according to the intention of the Act of Parliament regarding the payment of these annuities, fails to request their payment for three years following their last dividend receipt, they will permanently lose and forfeit it, as if their nominee had died at the start of those three years.

MARQUOIS’ PARALLEL SCALES for Drawing Plans with uncommon accuracy, in half the usual time. Sold, warranted correct, only by the Inventor, opposite Northumberland House, Charing Cross.

MARQUOIS’ PARALLEL SCALES for Drawing Plans with exceptional accuracy, in half the usual time. Available, guaranteed accurate, only from the Inventor, across from Northumberland House, Charing Cross.

Mr. Marquois continues as usual to instruct Gentlemen in the Military branches of Fortification, Artillery, Gunnery, Mathematics, Drawing, &c., &c.

Mr. Marquee continues to teach gentlemen in the military fields of fortification, artillery, gunnery, mathematics, drawing, etc.

DIAMONDS AND WATCHES.

Jewelry and Watches.

TO be SOLD CHEAP, being second-hand. Two pair of deep earrings; three pair of Tops; three large Star Pins; some small ditto and cluster Rings; a capital gold horizontal repeater by J. Targent; a ditto by Daniel St. Lien; a ditto by Graham; a ditto by Higgs; about thirty others, in gold, silver, and metal, by different makers; a pair of gold horizontal repeaters with seconds; a watch that strikes the hours and quarters as it goes, and repeats at pleasure; an assortment of gold horizontal watches by G. Graham, Ellicott, Allam, Perigalt, and others; a great number of gold, silver, and metal watches, enamelled, plain or engraved, a small Watch fit for a Ring; some Gold Charm and Snuff boxes.

TO be SOLD INEXPENSIVE, being second-hand. Two pairs of deep earrings; three pairs of tops; three large star pins; some small ones and cluster rings; a great gold horizontal repeater by J. Targent; another by Daniel St. Lien; another by Graham; another by Higgs; about thirty others, in gold, silver, and metal, from various makers; a pair of gold horizontal repeaters with second hands; a watch that chimes the hours and quarters as it runs, and can repeat on demand; a collection of gold horizontal watches by G. Graham, Ellicott, Allam, Perigalt, and others; a large number of gold, silver, and metal watches, enameled, plain, or engraved, a small watch suitable for a ring; some gold charm and snuff boxes.

Enquire of Mr. Mason, removed to the Corner of Craven Street, Strand.

Enquire with Mr. Mason, who has moved to the corner of Craven Street, Strand.

TO COWKEEPERS AND FARMERS.
By Mr. HUTCHINS,
By Order of the Proprietor,
On the Premises, THIS DAY, at Half-Past eleven
o’clock,

To Cattle Owners and Farmers.
By Mr. HUTCHINS,
By Order of the Proprietor,
On the Premises, TODAY, at 11:30 AM

TWENTY young Milch Cows, five Draught Horses, three Carts with tail ladders and copses, part of a Rick of Hay, a Young Breeding Sow and two store pigs, a fine Peacock and Hen, a yard Dog and chain, a single horse Chaise and Harness, a large quantify of unsifted Dust, Cart Harness, and other effects of

TWENTY young milk cows, five draft horses, three carts with tail ladders and copses, part of a stack of hay, a young breeding sow, two store pigs, a beautiful peacock and hen, a yard dog with a chain, a single horse chaise and harness, a large amount of unsifted dust, cart harness, and other items of

A COW-KEEPER AND FARMER.
The end of Five Fields Row, Chelsea.

A COW-KEEPER AND FARMER.
The end of Five Fields Row, Chelsea.

May be viewed and Catalogues had on the premises, and of Mr. Hutchins, King Street, Covent Garden.

May be viewed and catalogues are available on the premises, and from Mr. Hutchins, King Street, Covent Garden.

Sale by Auction.

Auction Sale.

By Mr. HUTCHINS,
At his Rooms, in King Street, and Hart Street, Covent
Garden, To-morrow at Twelve o’clock.

By Mr. HUTCHINS,
At his place, on King Street and Hart Street, Covent
Garden, Tomorrow at Twelve o’clock.

A Small House of very genteel Furniture of a

A Small House with very elegant furniture of a

GENTLEMAN,

MAN,

Brought from his House near Vauxhall in Surrey, comprising an elegant white Dimity Bed Furniture; excellent Down and Swan Feather Beds; a handsome suit of Drawing room chairs; Sofa and Window curtains; inlaid Mahogany Pier Tables; Mahogany Wardrobes; double and single Chests of Drawers; Wilton and Turkey Carpets; a superb Register Stove with inlaid front; Patent range and ovens; and other valuable effects, the whole of which was new within a few months.

Brought from his house near Vauxhall in Surrey, which includes an elegant white dimity bed set; great down and swan feather beds; a nice set of drawing room chairs; a sofa and window curtains; inlaid mahogany pier tables; mahogany wardrobes; double and single chests of drawers; Wilton and Turkey carpets; a stunning register stove with an inlaid front; a patented range and ovens; and other valuable items, all of which were new within the last few months.

May be viewed and Catalogues had at the Rooms.

May be viewed and catalogs available at the rooms.

Sale by Candle.

Candle Sale.

At Garraway’s Coffee House, Exchange Alley, Cornhill On FRIDAY, the 28th of JANUARY, at Five o’clock in the afternoon,

At Garraway’s Coffee House, Exchange Alley, Cornhill On FRIDAY, the 28th of JANUARY, at Five o’clock in the afternoon,

THE following GOODS, viz.,

The following goods, namely,

113 Bags St. Domingo Cotton, just landed
107 packets ditto.
4 bags Grenada ditto.
2 ditto Monterrat ditto.
50 ditto Brazil ditto.
1 Matt Smyrna ditto, damaged.
3 casks Sago.
3 ditto Short long pepper.
15 sacks Aleppo Galls.
2 casks Gentian.
12 ditto Gum Arabic.
6 ditto Verdigrease.
10 Bags Smyrna Cotton.
30 Casks Naples Argot, damaged.

Catalogues of which will be timely delivered by

Catalogs of which will be delivered on time by

RICHARD KYMER and Co.

RICHARD KYMER & Co.

At Mr. CROFT’S WAREHOUSE, No. 46, BREAD STREET, CHEAPSIDE
(Without reserve),
On Friday, the 4th instant, at 4 o’clock,

At Mr. CROFT'S WAREHOUSE, No. 46, BREAD STREET, CHEAPSIDE
(Without reserve),
On Friday, the 4th of this month, at 4 PM,

A Very Large and Valuable assortment of HABERDASHERY, MANCHESTER WOOLLEN DRAPERY and HOSIERY GOODS,

A Very Large and Valuable assortment of HABERDASHERY, MANCHESTER WOOLLEN Drapery and Hosiery Goods,

Particulars of which will be published in due time,

Details of which will be shared in due course,

By JOHN CROFT, Sworn Broker,
Bread Street, Cheapside.
N.B.—Two Months’ Prompt.

By JOHN CROFT, Licensed Broker,
Bread Street, Cheapside.
N.B.—Two Months’ Notice.

At the CUSTOMS HOUSE, COLCHESTER.

At the Customs House, Colchester.

BY ORDER OF THE HONOURABLE COMMISSIONERS OF HIS MAJESTY’S CUSTOMS.
On WEDNESDAY, the 2nd of JANUARY, 1788,
at Eleven o’clock in the Forenoon,

BY ORDER OF THE HONOURABLE COMMISSIONERS OF HIS MAJESTY’S CUSTOMS.
On WEDNESDAY, January 2nd, 1788,
at 11 a.m.,

WILL be exposed to Public Sale, for Home use, clear of all duties,

WILL be available for public sale, for home use, free of all duties,

Brandy, 247 Gallons,
Rum, 61 ditto,

Brandy, 247 gallons,
Rum, 61 gallons,

of the strength of one in six under, and not exceeding one in ten over hydrometer proof.

of the strength of one in six under, and not exceeding one in ten over hydrometer proof.

Geneva, 1560 Gallons,

Geneva, 1560 gallons

of inferior strength, in small lots, for the accommodation and use of private families.

of lesser strength, in small quantities, for the convenience and use of private households.

14 Gallons of Red Wine.

14 Gallons of Red Wine.

The above goods have been seized and legally condemned, and may be viewed on the morning previous to the day of sale.

The goods listed above have been taken and legally condemned, and can be viewed the morning before the sale day.


Shipping Advertisements.

Shipping Ads.

NEW LLOYD’S Coffee House, over the North West part of the Royal Exchange,
On THURSDAY, the 3rd of JANUARY, 1788, at Twelve o’clock precisely,

NEW LLOYD’S Coffee House, in the North West section of the Royal Exchange,
On THURSDAY, January 3rd, 1788, at exactly twelve o’clock,

ship

THE Hull of the Ship STORMONT, built for the Honourable the East India Company’s Service, burthen 723 tons or thereabouts, now lying in the Greenland Dock, and there to be delivered.

THE hull of the ship STORMONT, built for the Honourable East India Company’s service, weighing about 723 tons, is currently docked in the Greenland Dock and ready to be delivered.

Immediately after the sale of the above Hull, will be sold, in lots, all her anchors, cables, sails, guns, small arms, and all her other stores, as mentioned in the catalogues.

Immediately after the sale of the Hull mentioned above, all her anchors, cables, sails, guns, small arms, and other supplies will be sold in lots, as listed in the catalogs.

The said stores to be viewed three days preceding the sale, at Messrs. Turner’s Wharf, Limehouse.

The stores can be viewed three days before the sale at Messrs. Turner’s Wharf in Limehouse.

Catalogues will be timely delivered by

Catalogs will be delivered on time by

THOMAS and ALEX HUBBERT, Brokers,
No. 11, Mark Lane.

THOMAS and ALEX HUBBERT, Brokers,
11 Mark Ln.

FOR PRIVATE SALE.

FOR SALE PRIVATELY.

The Ship HOPE.

The HOPE Ship.

ship

BRITISH-built, 170 tons measurement or thereabouts, is extremely calculated for the Straits, Carolina, Newfoundland, or Coasting Trade, and would make a complete Collier. Is well found in stores, and requires very little expense to send her to sea. Now lying at Wapping Old Stairs, Charles Blakeney, late Commander.

BBRITISH-built, around 170 tons, is perfectly suited for the Straits, Carolina, Newfoundland, or coastal trade, and would work well as a collier. It is well-equipped with supplies and needs very little expense to get her ready for sea. Currently docked at Wapping Old Stairs, Charles Blakeney, former Commander.

For inventories and particulars apply on Board, to

For inventory details and specifics, please contact the Board at

JAMES and EDWARD OGLE, Brokers,
No. 7, Billiter Square.

JAMES and EDWARD OGLE, Brokers,
No. 7, Billiter Square.

LONDON: Printed for J. WALTER, at the Logographic Press, Printing House Square, near Apothecaries’ Hall, Blackfriars, where Advertisements, Essays, Letters, and Articles of Intelligence will be taken in; also at Mr. Mettenius’s, Confectioner, Charing Cross; Mr. Whiteaves, Watchmaker, No. 30, opposite St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street; Mr. Axtell’s, No 1, Finch Lane, Cornhill; at Mr Bushby’s, No. 1, Catherine Street, Strand; Mr Rose’s, Silk Dyes, Spring Gardens; and Mr. Grieve’s, Stationer, No. 103, corner of Fountain Court, Strand.

LONDON: Published for J. WALTER at the Logographic Press, Printing House Square, near Apothecaries’ Hall, Blackfriars, where Ads, Essays, Letters, and News Articles can be submitted; also at Mr. Mettenius’s, Confectioner, Charing Cross; Mr. Whiteaves, Watchmaker, No. 30, opposite St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street; Mr. Axtell’s, No 1, Finch Lane, Cornhill; at Mr. Bushby’s, No. 1, Catherine Street, Strand; Mr. Rose’s, Silk Dyes, Spring Gardens; and Mr. Grieve’s, Stationer, No. 103, corner of Fountain Court, Strand.

Facsimiles of newspaper pages

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So much for the early struggles of the “Thunderer”—a title given to it from the powerful articles contributed to it by Edward Stirling—and as its later efforts in the cause of justice are shown in the Times scholarships at Oxford, as its very appearance betokens its vast importance, and as its history has been given by many much abler pens than ours, we will return to our subject.

So much for the early challenges of the “Thunderer”—a name it earned from the impactful articles written by Edward Stirling—and as its later contributions to the cause of justice are reflected in the Times scholarships at Oxford, as its presence signifies its great significance, and as its history has been documented by many more skilled writers than ourselves, we will return to our topic.

In 1798, a house in Stanhope Street having been broken open and robbed, the following singular announcement was issued by the proprietor, and appeared in the Daily Advertiser:—

In 1798, a house on Stanhope Street was broken into and robbed, so the owner put out a unique announcement that was published in the Daily Advertiser:—

MR. R—— of Stanhope Street, presents his most respectful Compliments to the Gentlemen who did him the honour of eating a couple of roasted Chickens, drinking sundry tankards of ale, and three bottles of old Madeira at his house, on Monday night.

MR. R—— of Stanhope Street, sends his warm regards to the gentlemen who honored him by enjoying a couple of roasted chickens, several tankards of ale, and three bottles of vintage Madeira at his home on Monday night.

In their haste they took away the Tankard, to which they are heartily welcome; to the Tablespoons and the light Guineas which were in an old red morocco pocket-book, they are also heartily welcome; but in the said Pocket-book there were several loose Papers, which consisted of private Memorandums, Receipts, etc. can be of no use to his kind and friendly Visitors, but are important to him: he therefore hopes and trusts they will be so polite as to take some opportunity of returning them.

In their rush, they took the Tankard, which they are more than welcome to; they are also very welcome to the Tablespoons and the light Guineas that were in an old red morocco wallet. However, in that wallet, there were several loose papers that included private notes, receipts, etc., which are of no use to his kind and friendly visitors but are important to him. He therefore hopes they will be polite enough to find the opportunity to return them.

For an old family Watch, which was in the same Drawer, he cannot ask on the same terms; but if any could be pointed out by which he could replace it with twice as many heavy Guineas as they can get for it, he would gladly be the Purchaser. W. R.

For an old family watch that was in the same drawer, he can't ask for the same deal; but if there's any way to replace it with double the heavy guineas they can get for it, he'd happily be the buyer. W. R.

A few nights after, a packet, with the following letter enclosed, was dropped into the area of the house: “Sir,—You are quite a gemman. Not being used to your Madeira, it got into our upper works, or we should never have cribbed your papers; they be all marched back again with the red book. Your ale was mortal good; the tankard[236] and spoons were made into a white soup, in Duke’s Place, two hours afore daylite. The old family watch cases were at the same time made into a brown gravy, and the guts, new christened, are on their voyage to Holland. If they had not been transported, you should have them again, for you are quite the gemman; but you know, as they have been christened, and got a new name, they would no longer be of your old family. And soe, sir, we have nothing more to say, but that we are much obligated to you, and shall be glad to sarve and visit you, by nite or by day, and are your humble sarvants to command.” Honour had then, it would appear, not quite departed from among thieves.

A few nights later, a package containing the following letter was dropped into the area of the house: “Sir,—You are quite a gentleman. Not being used to your Madeira, it went to our heads, or we would never have taken your papers; they've all been returned along with the red book. Your ale was really good; the tankard[236] and spoons were turned into a white soup in Duke’s Place, two hours before daylight. The old family watch cases were simultaneously turned into a brown gravy, and the guts, newly named, are on their way to Holland. If they hadn't been taken, you would have them back, because you are quite the gentleman; but you know, since they've been renamed, they wouldn't belong to your old family anymore. So, sir, we have nothing more to say except that we are very grateful to you and would be happy to serve and visit you, by night or by day, and are your humble servants at your command.” It seems that honor had not entirely disappeared from among thieves.

At the end of last century a provincial attorney advertised an estate for sale, or to be exchanged for another, stating that he was appointed Plenipotentiary to treat in the business; that he had ample credentials, and was prepared to ratify his powers; that he would enter into preliminaries either upon the principle of the statu quo or uti possidetis; that he was ready to receive the project of any person desirous to make the purchase or exchange, and to deliver his contre projet and sine quâ non, and, indeed, at once give his ultimatum, assuring the public that as soon as a definitive treaty should be concluded, it would be ratified by his constituent and duly guaranteed. He was evidently astonished at his own unexpected importance.

At the end of the last century, a local attorney advertised an estate for sale or to be swapped for another, claiming he was appointed as a representative to handle the matter; that he had plenty of credentials and was ready to confirm his authority; that he would engage in preliminary discussions based either on the principle of maintaining the current state or on the idea of "as you possess"; that he was open to receiving proposals from anyone interested in buying or exchanging and would provide his counter proposal and necessary conditions, and, in fact, would immediately give his final offer, assuring the public that as soon as a final agreement was reached, it would be confirmed by his client and properly guaranteed. He seemed genuinely surprised by his own unexpected significance.

Some curious and amusing statistics of advertising in the second year of this century are given by Mr Daniel Stuart, at one time co-proprietor of the Morning Post with Coleridge, when it was in the meridian of its fame. He says: “The Morning Herald and the Times, then leading papers, were neglected, and the Morning Post, by vigilance and activity, rose rapidly. Advertisements flowed in beyond bounds. I encouraged the small miscellaneous advertisements in the front page, preferring them to any others, upon the rule that the more numerous the customers, the more independent and permanent the custom. Besides numerous and various[237] advertisements, I interest numerous and various readers looking out for employment, servants, sales, and purchasers, etc. etc. Advertisements act and react. They attract readers, promote circulation, and circulation attracts advertisements. The Daily Advertiser, which sold to the public for twopence halfpenny, after paying a stamp-duty of three-halfpence, never had more than half a column of news; it never noticed Parliament, but it had the best foreign intelligence before the French Revolution. The Daily Advertiser lost by its publication, but it gained largely by its advertisements, with which it was crammed full. Shares in it sold by auction at twenty years’ purchase. I recollect my brother Peter saying, that on proposing to a tradesman to take shares in a new paper, he was answered with a sneer and a shake of the head—‘Ah! none of you can touch the Daily!’ It was the paper of business, filled with miscellaneous advertisements, conducted at little expense, very profitable, and taken in by all public-houses, coffee-houses, etc., but by scarcely any private families. It fell in a day by the scheme of Grant, a printer, which made all publicans proprietors of a rival, the Morning Advertiser, the profits going to a publicans’ benefit society; and they, of course, took in their own paper;—an example of the danger of depending on any class. Soon after I joined the Morning Post, in the autumn of 1795, Christie, the auctioneer, left it, on account of its low sale, and left a blank, a ruinous proclamation of decline. But in 1802 he came to me again, praying for readmission. At that time particular newspapers were known to possess particular classes of advertisements: the Morning Post, horses and carriages; the Public Ledger, shipping and sales of wholesale foreign merchandise; the Morning Herald and Times, auctioneers; the Morning Chronicle, books. All papers had all sorts of advertisements, it is true, but some were more remarkable than others for a particular class, and Mr Perry, who aimed at making the Morning Chronicle a very literary paper, took pains to produce a striking display[238] of book advertisements. This display had something more solid for its object than vanity. Sixty or seventy short advertisements, filling three columns, by Longman, one day, by Cadell, etc., another—‘Bless me, what an extensive business they must have!’ The auctioneers to this day stipulate to have all their advertisements inserted at once, that they may impress the public with great ideas of their extensive business. They will not have them dribbled out, a few at a time, as the days of sale approach. The journals have of late years adopted the same rule with the same design. They keep back advertisements, fill up with pamphlets, and other stuff unnecessary to a newspaper, and then come out with a swarm of advertisements in a double sheet to astonish their readers, and strike them with high ideas of the extent of their circulation, which attracts so many advertisers. The meagre days are forgotten, the days of swarm are remembered.”

Some interesting and amusing advertising statistics from the second year of this century are provided by Mr. Daniel Stuart, who was once co-owner of the Morning Post with Coleridge, during its peak fame. He mentions: “The Morning Herald and the Times, which were the leading papers at the time, were ignored, while the Morning Post quickly rose through vigilance and activity. Advertisements poured in without limit. I encouraged small miscellaneous ads on the front page, preferring them over others, following the idea that the more customers we have, the more independent and lasting the business will be. Besides the variety of advertisements, I also attracted many diverse readers looking for jobs, help, sales, and buyers, etc. Advertisements influence each other. They bring in readers, boost circulation, and that circulation brings in more ads. The Daily Advertiser, sold to the public for two and a half pence, after paying a stamp duty of three halfpence, never had more than half a column of news; it never covered Parliament, but provided the best foreign news before the French Revolution. The Daily Advertiser lost money from its publication, but gained significantly from its numerous ads. Shares in it sold by auction for twenty years’ profits. I remember my brother Peter saying that when he suggested to a tradesman to invest in shares of a new paper, he was met with a sneer and a shake of the head—‘Ah! none of you can compete with the Daily!’ It was the go-to paper for business, packed with miscellaneous ads, run at low cost, very profitable, and subscribed to by all public houses, coffeehouses, etc., but hardly any private families. It collapsed overnight due to a scheme by Grant, a printer, which made all publicans owners of a rival paper, the Morning Advertiser, with profits going to a publicans’ benefit society; naturally, they subscribed to their own paper—an illustration of the risk of relying on any one group. Soon after I joined the Morning Post in the fall of 1795, Christie, the auctioneer, left it due to its low sales, leaving a gap that indicated a significant decline. However, in 1802 he approached me again, asking for re-entry. At that time, certain newspapers were known for specific types of advertisements: the Morning Post for horses and carriages; the Public Ledger for shipping and wholesale foreign merchandise sales; the Morning Herald and Times for auctioneers; and the Morning Chronicle for books. All papers had various ads, it’s true, but some were particularly noted for specific categories, and Mr. Perry, who aimed to make the Morning Chronicle a highly literary publication, worked hard to showcase book ads impressively. This effort had a purpose beyond vanity. Sixty or seventy short ads, filling three columns, from Longman one day, and from Cadell another—‘Wow, what a vast enterprise they must have!’ Auctioneers even today insist on having all their ads run at once, wanting to impress the public with the scale of their operations. They refuse to have them trickled out a few at a time as the sale date approaches. In recent years, journals have adopted the same strategy for the same reason. They hold back ads, fill pages with pamphlets and other unnecessary material, and then release a flood of advertisements in a double sheet to astonish readers and give them a high impression of their circulation, which attracts so many advertisers. The lean days are forgotten; the days of plenty are celebrated.”

In the same gossiping manner Stuart speaks again of this rage for swarming advertisements: “The booksellers and others crowded to the Morning Post, when its circulation and character raised it above all competitors. Each was desirous of having his cloud of advertisements inserted at once in the front page. I would not drive away the short, miscellaneous advertisements by allowing space to be monopolised by any class. When a very long advertisement of a column or two came, I charged enormously high, that it might be taken away without the parties being able to say it was refused admission. I accommodated the booksellers as well as I could with a few new and pressing advertisements at a time. That would not do: they would have the cloud; then, said I, there is no place for the cloud but the last page, where the auctioneers already enjoy that privilege. The booksellers were affronted, indignant. The last page! To obtain the accommodation refused by the Morning Post, they set up a morning paper, the British Press; and to oppose the Courier, an evening one—the Globe. Possessed of[239] general influence among literary men, could there be a doubt of success?” The Globe has stood the test of time, and though it has seen vicissitudes, and has changed its politics within recent years, it now seems as firmly established as any of its contemporaries that is independent of connection with a morning paper.

In the same gossiping tone, Stuart talks again about this obsession with overflowing advertisements: “The booksellers and others rushed to the Morning Post when its popularity and reputation lifted it above all its rivals. Each one wanted to have their load of advertisements featured right on the front page. I didn’t want to push away the short, varied advertisements by letting space be taken over by any single category. When a long advertisement came in, a column or two, I charged an enormous fee so it could be removed without the advertisers being able to claim it was rejected. I tried my best to accommodate the booksellers with a few new and urgent ads at a time. That wasn’t enough for them; they wanted the bulk of it. I told them the only place left for that bulk was the last page, where the auctioneers already had that spot. The booksellers were offended, furious. The last page! To get the support they were denied by the Morning Post, they started a morning paper, the British Press; and to compete with the Courier, they launched an evening one—the Globe. With a strong influence among literary figures, how could they fail?” The Globe has endured over time, and even though it has faced ups and downs and shifted its political stance in recent years, it now seems as solidly established as any of its peers that isn’t tied to a morning paper.

We have now reached the end of our journey so far as the education of advertisers and the development of advertisements are concerned. By the commencement of the present century matters were very nearly as we find them now; and so in the following chapters only those examples which have peculiar claims to attention will be submitted.

We have now reached the end of our journey regarding the education of advertisers and the development of advertisements. By the beginning of this century, things were almost the same as they are now; therefore, in the following chapters, we will only present those examples that have special significance.


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CHAPTER 11.
Quirky and Unusual Ads.

Advertisements of the kind which form the subject of this chapter have been so often made matter of comment and speculation, have so often received the attention of essayists and the ridicule of comic writers, that it is hard to keep out of the beaten track, and to find anything fresh to say upon a topic which seems utterly exhausted. Yet the store of fun is so great, and the excellence of many old and new stories so undoubted, that courage is easily found for this the most difficult part of the present work. Difficult, because there is an embarrassment of riches, an enormous mine of wealth, at command, and the trouble is not what to put in, but what to leave out, from a chapter on quaint and curious advertisements. Difficult again, because some of the best stories have been told in so many and such various guises, that until arriving at the ends it is hard to tell they have a common origin, and then the claims of each version are as near as possible equal. There is, however, a way out of all difficulties, and the way in this is to verify the advertisements themselves, and pay no attention to the apocrypha to which they give rise; and though it is a tedious proceeding, and one which shows little in return for the pains taken, it may be something to our readers to know, that curious as many of the specimens given are, they are real and original, and that in the course of our researches we have unearthed many impostures in the way of quotations from advertisements[241] which have never yet appeared, unless private views of still more private copies of papers have been allowed their promulgators. There is, after all, little reason for a display of inventive power, for the real material is so good, and withal so natural, as to completely put the finest fancy to a disadvantage. It has already been remarked that in the whole range of periodical literature there is no greater curiosity than the columns daily devoted to advertisements in the Times. From them, says a writer a few years back, “the future historian will be able to glean ample and correct information relative to the social habits, wants, and peculiarities of this empire. How we travel, by land or sea—how we live, and move, and have our being—is fully set forth in the different announcements which appear in a single copy of that journal. The means of gratifying the most boundless desires, or the most fastidious taste, are placed within the knowledge of any one who chooses to consult its crowded columns. Should a man wish to make an excursion to any part of the globe between Cape Horn and the North Pole, to any port in India, to Australia, to Africa, or to China, he can, by the aid of one number of the Times, make his arrangements over his breakfast. In the first column he will find which ‘A 1 fine, fast-sailing, copper-bottomed’ vessel is ready to take him to any of those distant ports. Or, should his travelling aspirations be of a less extended nature, he can inform himself of the names, size, horse-power, times of starting, and fares, of numberless steamers which ply within the limits of British seas. Whether, in short, he wishes to be conveyed five miles—from London to Greenwich—or three thousand—from Liverpool to New York—information equally conclusive is afforded him. The head of the second, or sometimes the third column, is interesting to a more extensive range of readers—namely, to the curious; for it is generally devoted to what may be called the romance of advertising. The advertisements which appear in that place are mysterious[242] as melodramas, and puzzling as rebuses.” These incentives to curiosity will receive attention a little further on; meanwhile we will turn to those which are purely curious or eccentric.

AAdvertisements like those discussed in this chapter have been frequently analyzed and speculated upon, often becoming the focus of essayists and the target of mockery by comedians, making it challenging to find new insights on a topic that seems completely explored. However, the wealth of entertaining material is vast, and the quality of many classic and contemporary stories is undeniable, giving us the motivation to tackle this tough section of the current work. It's difficult because there is such an abundance of material, and the challenge lies not in what to include, but in what to exclude from this chapter on unique and intriguing advertisements. It's also tricky because some of the best stories have been presented in so many different forms that it’s hard to recognize their shared origin until you reach the conclusion, at which point the claims of each version are nearly equal. Nevertheless, there is a solution to all difficulties here, which is to verify the advertisements themselves and ignore the questionable versions they inspire; even though this is a tedious process that gives little back for the effort, it may be something of value to our readers to know that, as strange as many of the examples are, they are authentic and original. Along the way, we have uncovered many fabrications in the form of citations from advertisements that have never been published, unless private versions of even more private papers have been shared by their authors. Ultimately, there's little reason to showcase creative power, as the real material is so compelling and so genuine that it overshadows even the most imaginative efforts. It's already been noted that in the entire scope of periodical literature, there is no greater curiosity than the sections dedicated to advertisements in the Times. A writer commented a few years ago that “future historians will find plenty of accurate information about the social habits, needs, and quirks of this nation. How we travel, whether by land or sea—how we live, move, and exist—is fully detailed in the various ads featured in a single issue of that paper. The resources to satisfy even the most insatiable desires or the most discerning tastes are available to anyone willing to glance at its packed columns. If someone wants to plan a trip anywhere between Cape Horn and the North Pole, to any port in India, to Australia, to Africa, or to China, they can make all their arrangements while they eat breakfast with just one issue of the Times. In the first column, they’ll find details about which ‘A 1 fine, fast-sailing, copper-bottomed’ ship is ready to take them to any of those far-off destinations. Or, if they prefer to travel shorter distances, they can learn about the names, sizes, horsepower, departure times, and fares for numerous steamers operating within British waters. Whether they want to travel five miles—from London to Greenwich—or three thousand—from Liverpool to New York—equally informative details are provided. The top of the second, or sometimes third column, is appealing to a broader audience—specifically, the curious—because it generally features what could be called the romance of advertising. The ads in that section are as mysterious as melodramas and as puzzling as riddles.” These intriguing prompts will be explored further on; for now, let's focus on those that are purely unique or eccentric.

The record of these notices to the public is so extensive, and its ramifications so multifarious, that so far as those advertisements which simply contain blunders are concerned, we must be satisfied with a simple summary, and in many cases leave our readers to make their own comments. Here is a batch of those whose comicality is mainly dependent upon sins against the rules of English composition. We will commence with the reward offered for “a keyless lady’s gold watch,” which is, though, but a faint echo of the “green lady’s parasol” and the “brown silk gentleman’s umbrella” anecdotes; but the former we give as actually having appeared, while so far the two latter require verification. A lady advertises her desire to obtain a husband with “a Roman nose having strong religious tendencies.” A nose with heavenly tendencies we can imagine, but even then it would not be Roman. “A spinster particularly fond of children,” informs the public that she “wishes for two or three having none of her own.” Then a dissenter from grammar as well as from the Church Established wants “a young man to look after a horse of the Methodist persuasion;” a draper desires to meet with an assistant who would “take an active and energetic interest in a small first-class trade, and in a quiet family;” and a chemist requests that “the gentleman who left his stomach for analysis, will please call and get it, together with the result.” Theatrical papers actually teem with advertisements which, either from technology or an ignorance of literary law, are extremely funny, and sometimes alarming, and even the editorial minds seem at times to catch the infection. One of these journals, in a puff preliminary of a benefit, after announcing the names of the performers and a list of the performances, went on: “Of course every one will be there, and[243] for the edification of those who are absent, a full report will be found in our next paper.” This is worthy of a place in any collection: “One pound reward—Lost, a cameo brooch, representing Venus and Adonis on the Drumcondra-road, about ten o’clock, on Tuesday evening.” And so is this: “The advertiser, having made an advantageous purchase, offers for sale, on very low terms, about six dozen of prime port wine, late the property of a gentleman forty years of age, full in the body and with a high bouquet.” The lady spoken of in the following would meet with some attention from the renowned Barnum: “To be sold cheap, a splendid grey horse, calculated for a charger, or would carry a lady with a switch tail.” But she would find a formidable rival in the gentleman whose advertisement we place as near as possible, so as to make a pair: “To be sold cheap, a mail phaeton, the property of a gentleman with a moveable head, as good as new.” Students of vivisection, and lovers of natural history generally, would have been glad to meet with this specimen of life after decapitation: “Ten shillings reward—Lost by a gentleman, a white terrier dog, except the head, which is black.” And as congenial company we append this: “To be sold, an Erard grand piano, the property of a lady, about to travel in a walnut wood case with carved legs.”

The record of these public notices is so extensive and its connections so varied that, regarding those advertisements that simply contain mistakes, we can only provide a brief summary and often leave our readers to draw their own conclusions. Here’s a collection of those whose humor relies mainly on errors in English composition. We’ll start with the reward offered for “a keyless lady’s gold watch,” which is just a faint reflection of the “green lady’s parasol” and the “brown silk gentleman’s umbrella” anecdotes; however, we present the first as an actual occurrence, while the latter two still need verification. A woman is looking for a husband with “a Roman nose having strong religious tendencies.” We can imagine a nose with heavenly tendencies, but even then, it wouldn’t be Roman. “A spinster who particularly loves children” informs the public that she “wants two or three since she has none of her own.” Then someone who seems to reject grammar as well as the Established Church is looking for “a young man to look after a horse of the Methodist persuasion;” a draper wishes to find an assistant who would “take an active and energetic interest in a small first-class trade, and in a quiet family;” and a chemist asks that “the gentleman who left his stomach for analysis, please come and collect it, along with the results.” Theatrical papers are filled with advertisements that, either due to technology or a lack of understanding of literary rules, are incredibly funny, and sometimes alarming, with even the editorial minds occasionally catching the bug. One of these journals, in a promotional piece for a benefit, after listing the performers and the performances, stated: “Of course everyone will be there, and for the benefit of those who are absent, a full report will be found in our next issue.” This deserves a spot in any collection: “One pound reward—Lost, a cameo brooch depicting Venus and Adonis on Drumcondra Road, around ten o’clock on Tuesday evening.” And this is another gem: “The advertiser, having made a great purchase, offers for sale, at very low prices, about six dozen bottles of premium port wine, previously owned by a gentleman aged forty, full-bodied with a high bouquet.” The lady mentioned next would attract some attention from the famous Barnum: “For sale cheap, a splendid grey horse, suitable for a charger, or will carry a lady with a switch tail.” But she would face tough competition from the gentleman whose advertisement we place right after to make a pair: “For sale cheap, a mail phaeton, owned by a gentleman with a movable head, as good as new.” Students of vivisection and fans of natural history in general would have been pleased to find this specimen of life after decapitation: “Ten shillings reward—Lost by a gentleman, a white terrier dog, except for the head, which is black.” And as a related entry, we add this: “For sale, an Erard grand piano, the property of a lady, about to travel in a walnut wood case with carved legs.”

Differing somewhat, though still of the same kind, is the advertisement of a governess, who, among other things, notifies that “she is a perfect mistress of her own tongue.” If she means what she says, she deserves a good situation and a high rate of wages. An anecdote is told of a wealthy widow who advertised for an agent, and, owing to a printer’s error, which made it “a gent,” she was inundated with applications by letter, and pestered by personal attentions. This story requires, however, a little assistance, and may be taken for what it is worth. Not long ago, a morning paper contained an announcement that a lady going abroad would give “a medical man” £100 a year to look after[244] “a favourite spaniel dog” during her absence. This may not be funny, but it is certainly curious, and in these days, when starvation and misery are rampant, when men are to be found who out of sheer love kill their children rather than trust them to the tender mercies of the parish officials, and when these same officials are proved guilty of constructive homicide, it is indeed noticeable. A kindred advertisement, also real and unexaggerated, asks for “an accomplished poodle nurse. Wages £1 per week.” This has double claims upon our attention here, for in addition to the amount offered for such work, there is a doubt as to the actual thing required. Is it a nurse for accomplished poodles, or an accomplished nurse? And, if the latter, what in the name of goodness and common sense is accomplishment at such work? Do poodles require peculiar nursery rhymes and lullabies, or are they nursed, as a vulgar error has it about West-country babies, head downwards? This is not the exact expression used with regard to the infants; but it will do. We will conclude this short list of peculiarities with two which deserve notice. The first is the notice of a marriage, which ends, “No cards, no cake, no wine.” This is evidently intended for friends other than those “at a distance,” whose polite attention is so constantly invoked. The remaining specimen appeared in the Irish Times, and runs thus: “To Insurance Offices.—Whatever office the late William H. O’Connell, M.D. life was insured will please to communicate or call on his widow, 23 South Frederick Street, without delay.” One hardly knows which to admire most, the style or the insouciance of the demand.

Differing a bit, but still in the same vein, is the advertisement for a governess, who among other things, states that “she is a perfect mistress of her own tongue.” If she means what she says, she deserves a good position and a high salary. There's a story about a wealthy widow who advertised for an agent, and due to a printing mistake that made it “a gent,” she was flooded with applications by mail and bombarded with personal attention. However, this story needs a little context and can be taken for what it's worth. Recently, a morning paper had an announcement that a lady going abroad would pay “a medical man” £100 a year to look after[244] “a favorite spaniel dog” during her absence. This may not be hilarious, but it's definitely interesting, and in these times, when poverty and suffering are widespread, when there are men who, out of sheer love, kill their children rather than leave them to the care of the parish officials, and when these same officials have been proven guilty of indirect homicide, it truly stands out. A similar advertisement, which is also real and understated, asks for “an accomplished poodle nurse. Wages £1 per week.” This captures our attention for two reasons: besides the low pay for such work, there's ambiguity about what is actually needed. Is it a nurse for accomplished poodles, or an accomplished nurse? And if it’s the latter, what on earth does accomplishment mean in this job? Do poodles require special nursery rhymes and lullabies, or are they nursed, as a common misconception suggests about West-country babies, head down? This isn't the exact phrase used regarding the infants, but it works. We’ll wrap up this brief list of oddities with two that deserve attention. The first is a marriage announcement that concludes, “No cards, no cake, no wine.” This is clearly aimed at friends who aren’t “at a distance,” whose polite attention is so frequently requested. The last example appeared in the Irish Times, and reads: “To Insurance Offices.—Whatever office the late William H. O’Connell, M.D. was insured with, please contact or call on his widow, 23 South Frederick Street, without delay.” One can hardly tell what to admire more, the style or the insouciance of the request.

Of curious advertisements which are such independent of errors, selfishness, or moral obliquity, we have in the purely historical part of this work given plenty specimens from olden times; but there are still a few samples of the peculiarities of our ancestors which will bear repetition in this chapter, more especially as most of them have not[245] before been unearthed from their original columns. Before quoting any of those which are purely advertisements in the ordinary sense of the word, we will present to our readers a curious piece of puffery which appeared in an Irish paper for May 30, 1784, and which from its near connection with open and palpable advertising, and from its whimsical character, will not be at all out of place, and will doubtless prove interesting, especially to those of a theatrical turn of mind, as it refers to the gifted Sarah Siddons’s first appearance in Dublin. The article runs thus: “On Saturday, Mrs Siddons, about whom all the world has been talking, exposed her beautiful, adamantine, soft, and lovely person, for the first time, at Smock-Alley Theatre, in the bewitching, melting, and all-tearful character of Isabella. From the repeated panegyrics in the impartial London newspapers, we were taught to expect the sight of a heavenly angel; but how were we supernaturally surprised into the most awful joy, at beholding a mortal goddess. The house was crowded with hundreds more than it could hold,—with thousands of admiring spectators, that went away without a sight. This extraordinary phenomenon of tragic excellence! this star of Melpomene! this comet of the stage! this sun of the firmament of the Muses! this moon of blank verse! this queen and princess of tears! this Donnellan of the poisoned bowl! this empress of the pistol and dagger! this chaos of Shakspeare! this world of weeping clouds! this Juno of commanding aspects! this Terpsichore of the curtains and scenes! this Proserpine of fire and earthquake! this Katterfelto of wonders! exceeded expectation, went beyond belief, and soared above all the natural powers of description! She was nature itself! She was the most exquisite work of art! She was the very daisy, primrose, tuberose, sweet-brier, furze-blossom, gilliflower, wall-flower, cauliflower, auricula, and rosemary! In short, she was the bouquet of Parnassus! Where expectation was raised so high, it was[246] thought she would be injured by her appearance; but it was the audience who were injured:—several fainted before the curtain drew up! When she came to the scene of parting with her wedding-ring, ah! what a sight was there! the very fiddlers in the orchestra, ‘albeit, unused to the melting mood,’ blubbered like hungry children crying for their bread and butter; and when the bell rang for music between the acts, the tears ran from the bassoon players’ eyes in such plentiful showers, that they choked the finger stops; and making a spout of the instrument, poured in such torrents on the first fiddler’s book, that, not seeing the overture was in two sharps, the leader of the band actually played in one flat. But the sobs and sighs of the groaning audience, and the noise of corks drawn from the smelling-bottles, prevented the mistake between flats and sharps being discovered. One hundred and nine ladies fainted! forty-six went into fits! and ninety-five had strong hysterics! The world will scarcely credit the truth, when they are told, that fourteen children, five old women, one hundred tailors, and six common-councilmen, were actually drowned in the inundation of tears that flowed from the galleries, the slips, and the boxes, to increase the briny pond in the pit; the water was three feet deep; and the people that were obliged to stand upon the benches, were in that position up to their ankles in tears! An Act of Parliament against her playing any more will certainly pass.” As this effusion appeared almost immediately after the famous actress’s first appearance, we are hardly wrong in considering it as half an advertisement. It must certainly have helped to draw good houses during the rest of her stay.

Of curious advertisements that are free from errors, selfishness, or moral issues, we have provided plenty of examples from historical times in the pure historical section of this work; however, there are still a few instances of our ancestors' peculiarities that deserve mention in this chapter, especially since most have not[245] previously been discovered from their original columns. Before sharing those that are purely advertisements in the traditional sense, we will present our readers with an interesting piece of puffery that appeared in an Irish newspaper on May 30, 1784. Due to its close connection to straightforward advertising and its whimsical nature, it fits perfectly here and will surely intrigue especially those with a theatrical inclination, as it pertains to the talented Sarah Siddons’s first performance in Dublin. The article states: “On Saturday, Mrs. Siddons, the talk of the town, showcased her beautiful, unique, and lovely persona for the first time at Smock-Alley Theatre, portraying the captivating and emotional character of Isabella. From the constant praise in the unbiased London newspapers, we expected to see an angel; but we were incredibly surprised to witness a mortal goddess. The theatre was packed with hundreds more than it could contain—thousands of admiring spectators who left without seeing her. This extraordinary display of tragic talent! this star of Melpomene! this comet of the stage! this sun in the universe of the Muses! this moon of blank verse! this queen and princess of tears! this Donnellan of the poisoned bowl! this empress of the pistol and dagger! this chaos of Shakespeare! this world of weeping clouds! this Juno of commanding presence! this Terpsichore of the curtains and scenes! this Proserpine of fire and earthquake! this Katterfelto of wonders! exceeded all expectations, transcended belief, and soared beyond all natural descriptive powers! She was the essence of nature! She was the most stunning creation of art! She personified the daisy, primrose, tuberose, sweet-briar, furze-blossom, gilliflower, wallflower, cauliflower, auricula, and rosemary! In short, she was the bouquet of Parnassus! Where expectations were set higher, it was thought she would be harmed by her appearance; instead, it was the audience who were affected: several fainted before the curtain rose! When she reached the moment of parting with her wedding ring, what a sight it was! Even the musicians in the orchestra, 'though not accustomed to such an emotional state,' cried like hungry children yearning for their bread and butter; and when the bell rang for music between acts, tears streamed down the bassoon players’ faces in such abundance that they clogged the finger stops; creating a spout from the instrument, they poured in such torrents onto the first fiddler’s sheet music, that, not realizing the overture was in two sharps, the bandleader actually played in one flat. However, the sobs and sighs from the distressed audience, and the sound of corks being pulled from smelling bottles, obscured the error between flats and sharps. One hundred and nine ladies fainted! Forty-six fell into fits! And ninety-five experienced strong hysterics! The world can scarcely believe that fourteen children, five elderly women, one hundred tailors, and six city councilmen were actually drowned in the flood of tears that poured from the galleries, the aisles, and the boxes, creating a salty pond in the pit; the water was three feet deep; and those who had to stand on the benches were ankle-deep in tears! An Act of Parliament to prevent her from performing again will undoubtedly be enacted.” As this outpouring appeared almost immediately after the acclaimed actress’s debut, we are not wrong to view it as half an advertisement. It likely helped attract large audiences during her remaining performances.

Lovers of the gentle craft maybe interested to know that what was perhaps the earliest advertisement of Izaak Walton’s famous little book “The Compleat Angler” was published in one of Wharton’s Almanacs. It is on the back of the dedication-leaf to “Hemeroscopeion: Anni Æra[247] Christianæ, 1654.” Hemeroscopeion was William Lilly, and the almanac appeared in 1653, the year in which Walton’s book was printed. The advertisement says:—

Lovers of the gentle craft may be interested to know that what was probably the very first advertisement for Izaak Walton’s famous little book "The Compleat Angler" was published in one of Wharton’s Almanacs. It appears on the back of the dedication page for "Hemeroscopeion: Anni Æra[247] Christianæ, 1654." Hemeroscopeion was written by William Lilly, and the almanac came out in 1653, the same year Walton’s book was printed. The advertisement says:—

There is published a Booke of Eighteen-pence price, called The Compleat Angler, Or, The Contemplative man’s Recreation: being a Discourse of Fish and Fishing. Not unworthy the perusall. Sold by Richard Marriot in S. Dunstan’s Church-yard, Fleetstreet.

There is a book available for eighteen pence, called The Compleat Angler, or The Contemplative Man’s Recreation: a discussion about fish and fishing. It's worth reading. Sold by Richard Marriot in St. Dunstan’s Churchyard, Fleet Street.

The publication of births, marriages, and deaths seems to have begun almost as soon as newspapers were in full swing. At first only the names of the noble and eminent were given, but soon the notices got into much the same form as we now find them. One advantage of the old style was that the amount a man died worth was generally given, though how the exact sum was known directly he died passes our comprehension, unless it was then the fashion to give off the secret with the latest breath. Even under such circumstances we should hesitate to believe some people of our acquaintance, who have tried now and again, but have never yet succeeded in telling the truth about their own affairs or those of their relatives. And doubtless many an heir felt sadly disappointed, on taking his property, to find it amount to less than half of the published sum. Notices of marriages and deaths were frequent before the announcement of births became fashionable; and in advertisements the real order of things has been completely changed, as obituaries began, marriages followed, and births came last of all. In the first number of the Gentleman’s Magazine, January 1731, we find deaths and marriages published under separate heads, and many papers of the time did likewise. The Grub Street Journal gave them among the summary of Domestic News, each particular item having the initials of the paper from which it was taken appended, as was done with all other information under the same head; for which purpose there was at the top of the article the information that C. meant Daily Courant, P. Daily Post-Boy, D. P. Daily Post, D. J. Daily Journal, D. A. Daily Advertiser,[248] S. J. St James’s Evening Post, W. E. Whitehall Evening Post, and L. E. London Evening Post. In the number for February 7, 1734, we find this:—

The publication of births, marriages, and deaths seems to have started almost as soon as newspapers were thriving. Initially, only the names of the wealthy and prominent were included, but soon the announcements began to resemble the way we see them today. One advantage of the old style was that the amount of a person's estate was typically listed, though how the exact figure was known right after death is beyond our understanding, unless it was common practice to reveal such secrets with their last breath. Even in such cases, we would hesitate to believe some of the people we know, who have attempted time and again, yet never succeeded in being honest about their own situations or those of their family members. Many heirs must have felt disappointed upon claiming their inheritance to find it was less than half of what had been published. Announcements of marriages and deaths were common before the practice of announcing births became trendy; and in advertisements, the order of these events has completely flipped, with obituaries first, followed by marriages, and births last. In the first issue of the Gentleman’s Magazine, January 1731, we see deaths and marriages listed under separate headings, and many publications of the time did the same. The Grub Street Journal included them among the summary of Domestic News, with each item credited to its source, just like other information in the same section; for this purpose, a key at the beginning of the article indicated that C. stood for Daily Courant, P. for Daily Post-Boy, D. P. for Daily Post, D. J. for Daily Journal, D. A. for Daily Advertiser,[248] S. J. for St James’s Evening Post, W. E. for Whitehall Evening Post, and L. E. for London Evening Post. In the issue dated February 7, 1734, we find this:—

Died last night at his habitation in Pall-mall, in a very advanced age, count Kilmanseck, who came over from Hanover with King George I. S. J.—At his lodgings. L. E. D. A. Feb. 1.—Aged about 70. P. Feb. 1.—Of the small-pox, after 8 days illness, in his 23d year count Kilmansegg, son of the countess of Kilmansegg, who came over from Hanover the beginning of the last reign. D. P. Feb. 1.—He came over with his highness the prince of Orange, as one of his gentlemen. D. J. Feb. 1.Tho’ Mr Conundrum cannot account for these different accounts of these two German counts, yet he counts it certain, that the younger count was the son of the countess, who came over from the county of Hanover.

Died last night at his home in Pall Mall, at a very advanced age, Count Kilmanseck, who came over from Hanover with King George I. S. J.—At his residence. L. E. D. A. Feb. 1.—Aged about 70. P. Feb. 1.—Of smallpox, after 8 days of illness, in his 23rd year Count Kilmansegg, son of the Countess of Kilmansegg, who came over from Hanover at the beginning of the last reign. D. P. Feb. 1.—He came over with His Highness the Prince of Orange, as one of his gentlemen. D. J. Feb. 1.Though Mr. Conundrum cannot explain these different accounts of these two German counts, he is certain that the younger count was the son of the countess, who came over from the county of Hanover.

About the same time we find in the same paper another paragraph worthy of notice:—

About the same time, we find in the same paper another paragraph worth noting:—

Died, last week at Acton, George Villers, Esq; formerly page of the preference to queen Anne, said to have died worth 30,000l.—Mr Ryley, a pay-master serjeant, as he was drinking a pint of beer at the Savoy. D. J.—On friday Mr Feverel, master of the bear and rummer tavern in Gerard-street, who was head cook to king William and queen Anne, reputed worth 40,000l. P.—Mr Favil. D. P.—Mr Favel. D. J.—Mr Fewell, 21,000l. D. A.

Died last week in Acton, George Villers, Esq; former page to Queen Anne, reportedly worth £30,000. —Mr. Ryley, a paymaster sergeant, died while having a pint of beer at the Savoy. D. J. —On Friday, Mr. Feverel, owner of the Bear and Rummer tavern in Gerard Street, who served as head cook for King William and Queen Anne, was estimated to be worth £40,000. P. —Mr. Favil. D. P. —Mr. Favel. D. J. —Mr. Fewell, £21,000. D. A.

On March 14, also of 1734, there is this:—

On March 14, also in 1734, there is this:—

Died on tuesday in Tavistock-street, Mr Mooring, an eminent mercer, that kept Long’s warehouse, said to have died worth 60,000l. D. J.This was 5 days before he did die, and 40,000l. more than he died worth according to D. P. Mar. 12.

Died on Tuesday in Tavistock Street, Mr. Mooring, a prominent mercer who owned Long's warehouse, reportedly passing away with a fortune of £60,000. D. J.This was 5 days before he died, and £40,000 more than what he was said to be worth according to D. P. Mar. 12.

And on the 28th this:—

And on the 28th:—

Died yesterday morning admiral Mighelles. C.—Mighells. P.—Mighills. D. P.—A gentleman belonging to the earl of Grantham was found dead in his bed. P.

Died yesterday morning Admiral Mighelles. C.—Mighells. P.—Mighills. D. P.—A gentleman associated with the Earl of Grantham was found dead in his bed. P.

And so on, there being announcements in every number, many of which showed differences in the daily-paper notices. There are also plenty of marriage announcements, which, as a rule, give the amounts obtained with the ladies, and sometimes[249] the gentlemen’s fortunes. The following is from the G. S. J. of February 21, 1734:—

And so on, there are announcements in every edition, many of which highlight differences compared to the daily paper notices. There are also a lot of marriage announcements, which typically list the amounts received by the brides and sometimes the grooms' fortunes. The following is from the G. S. J. of February 21, 1734:—

Married, yesterday at S. James’s church by the right rev. Dr Hen. Egerton, lord bishop of Hereford, the hon. Francis Godolphin, of Scotland-yard, Esq; to the 3d daughter of the countess of Portland, a beautiful lady of 50,000l. fortune. P.—Will. Godolphin, Esq; to the lady Barbara Bentinck, &c. D. P.—At the chapel-royal, at S. James’s: youngest daughter, &c. D. J. D. A.

Married, yesterday at St. James's Church by the Right Reverend Dr. Hen. Egerton, Lord Bishop of Hereford, the Hon. Francis Godolphin, of Scotland Yard, Esq.; to the third daughter of the Countess of Portland, a beautiful lady with a fortune of £50,000. P.—Will. Godolphin, Esq.; to the Lady Barbara Bentinck, &c. D. P.—At the Chapel Royal, at St. James's: youngest daughter, &c. D. J. D. A.

A few weeks later on there is this:—

A few weeks later, there is this:—

Married this day the countess of Deloraine, governess to the princesses Mary and Louisa, to Will. Wyndham, Esq; son to the late col. Wyndham. L. E.They were not married ’till 10 at night.

Married today, the Countess of Deloraine, governess to Princesses Mary and Louisa, to Will Wyndham, Esq., son of the late Colonel Wyndham. L. E.They weren't married until 10 at night.

And on April 25 this:—

And on April 25 this:—

Married a few days since — Price, a Buckinghamshire gentleman of near 2000l. per ann. to miss Robinson of the Theatre Royal in Drury-lane. L. E.—On tuesday, the lord Visc. Faulkland to the lady Villew, relict of the late lord Faukland, a lady of great merit and fortune. D. P.—Mr Price’s marriage is entirely false and groundless. D. A. Ap. 24.

Recently married — Price, a gentleman from Buckinghamshire with an annual income of nearly £2000, to Miss Robinson from the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane. L. E. — On Tuesday, Lord Viscount Faulkland wed Lady Villew, the widow of the late Lord Faulkland, a woman of significant merit and wealth. D. P. — Mr. Price’s marriage is completely false and unfounded. D. A. Ap. 24.

There are in the Journal, as well as in contemporary and earlier papers, occasional references to births as well, but none calling for any comment at our hands. In the Gentleman’s Magazine of February 1736 there are two notices of deaths, one commencing the list, which is curious, and the other immediately following, which cannot fail to be interesting:—

There are in the Journal, as well as in contemporary and earlier papers, occasional references to births too, but none that require our comment. In the Gentleman’s Magazine of February 1736, there are two death notices, one starting the list, which is curious, and the other right after, which is definitely interesting

SIR Brownlowe Sherard, Bt in Burlington Gardens. He was of a human Disposition, kind to his Servants dislik’d all extravagant Expence, but very liberal of his Fortune, as well to his Relations and Friends, as to Numbers of distressed Objects; and in particular, to St. George’s Hospital, near Hyde-Park Corner.

SIR Brownlowe Sherard, Bt in Burlington Gardens. He had a friendly personality, was kind to his staff, disliked unnecessary spending, but was very generous with his wealth, both to his family and friends, as well as to many people in need; in particular, to St. George’s Hospital, near Hyde-Park Corner.

Bernard Lintott, Esq., formerly an eminent Bookseller in Fleet-street. High Sheriff for Sussex, aged 61.

Bernard Lintott, Esq., previously a well-known bookseller in Fleet Street. High Sheriff for Sussex, 61 years old.

Also the Earl of Derby, and several men who are noted to have died worth sums varying from £13,000 to £100,000, find obituary notices. These give particulars of the lives of[250] the deceased, and the ways in which the various properties are disposed of, very different from the short announcements of modern days. Thus we find that by the death of the Hon. Walter Chetwynd, the barony of Rathdown in the county of Dublin, and viscounty of Chetwynd of Beerhaven in the county of Cork, both in the peerage of Ireland, became extinct, but that his brother, John Chetwynd, was consoled by an estate of £3000 per annum; that Mrs Eliza Barber succumbed to “an illness she had contracted in Newgate on a prosecution of her master, a baronet of Leicestershire, of which being honourably acquitted, and a copy of her indictment granted, she had brought an action of £1000 damages;” that Mr Fellows was an eminent sugar-baker; and that Gilbert Campbell had during his life got himself into trouble for misinterpreting his duties as an attorney. The marriage lists have also the admirable fashion of giving the sums of money obtained with the brides or bridegrooms as the case may be, and in some instances the amounts of revenue.

Also, the Earl of Derby and several men who are known to have died with fortunes ranging from £13,000 to £100,000 receive obituary notices. These provide details about the lives of the deceased and how their various properties were handled, which is very different from the brief announcements we see today. For instance, we learn that with the death of the Hon. Walter Chetwynd, the barony of Rathdown in County Dublin and the viscounty of Chetwynd of Beerhaven in County Cork both became extinct, but his brother, John Chetwynd, was comforted by an estate worth £3,000 per year; that Mrs. Eliza Barber passed away from “an illness she contracted in Newgate while being prosecuted by her master, a baronet from Leicestershire, from which she was honorably acquitted, and for which she received a copy of her indictment and brought a lawsuit for £1,000 in damages;” that Mr. Fellows was a well-known sugar baker; and that Gilbert Campbell had gotten himself into trouble during his life for misinterpreting his duties as an attorney. The marriage lists also have the excellent practice of stating the amounts of money brought by the brides or bridegrooms, as the case may be, and in some cases, the revenue figures as well.

In the London Journal of February 7, 1730, there is the following, which shows that the presentation of advertisement-books gratis is by no means a novelty:—

In the London Journal of February 7, 1730, there is the following, which shows that giving away advertising books for free is by no means a novelty:—

At the New Masquerade Warehouse in Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, are given gratis.

At the New Masquerade Warehouse on Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, they're provided for free.

PRINTED Speeches, Jokes, Jests, Conundrums and smart Repartees, suited to each Habit, by which Gentlemen and Ladies may be qualified to speak what is proper to their respective Characters. Also some Dialogues for two or more Persons, particularly between a Cardinal and a Milkmaid; a Judge and a Chimney-sweeper; a Venetian Courtezan and a Quaker; with one very remarkable between a Devil, a Lawyer and an Orange Wench. At the same place is to be spoke with Signor Rosario, lately arrived from Venice, who teaches Gentlemen and Ladies the behaviour proper for a Devil, a Courtezan, or any other Character. And whereas it is a frequent practice for Gentlemen to appear in the Habits of Ladies, and Ladies in the habits of Gentlemen, Signor Rosario teaches the Italian manner of acting in both capacities. The Quality of both Sexes may be waited on and instructed at their Houses.

PPRINTED Speeches, jokes, gags, riddles, and clever comebacks designed for various styles, enabling both gentlemen and ladies to communicate appropriately for their specific roles. There are also some dialogues for two or more people, particularly between a cardinal and a milkmaid; a judge and a chimney sweep; a Venetian courtesan and a Quaker; with one especially notable exchange involving a devil, a lawyer, and an orange seller. At the same location, you can speak with Signor Rosario, who has recently arrived from Venice and teaches gentlemen and ladies the proper behavior for a devil, a courtesan, or any other character. Since it is common for gentlemen to dress as ladies and for ladies to dress as gentlemen, Signor Rosario also teaches the Italian style of performing in both roles. Both men and women can be attended to and taught at their homes.

[251]

[251]

Also in 1730 two Roman histories, translated from the French by two Jesuit priests, appeared at the same time—one by Mr Ozell, the other by Mr Bundy—which caused the following advertisement to be inserted by the publishers of Ozell’s work:—

Also in 1730, two Roman histories were translated from French by two Jesuit priests and published simultaneously—one by Mr. Ozell and the other by Mr. Bundy—which led the publishers of Ozell’s job:

This Day is Publish’d

This Day is Published

What will satisfy such as have bought Mr Ozell’s Translation of the Roman History, and also undeceive such of Mr Bundy’s Friends as are more Friends to Truth:

What will satisfy those who have purchased Mr. Ozell’s Translation of the Roman History, and also clarify things for Mr. Bundy’s friends who value Truth more:

Number I. of the

Number 1. of the

HERCULEAN LABOUR: or the AUGÆAN STABLE cleansed of its heaps of historical, philological, and Geographical Trumpery. Being Serious and facetious Remarks by Mr Ozell, on some thousands of capital and comical Mistakes, Oversights, Negligences, Ignorances, Omissions, Misconstructions, Mis-nomers and other Defects, in the folio Translation of the Roman History by the Rev. Mr Bundy.

HHerculean LABOR: or the AUGÆAN STABLE cleaned up of its piles of historical, linguistic, and geographical nonsense. This includes serious and humorous comments by Mr. Ozell on thousands of major and funny mistakes, oversights, carelessness, ignorance, omissions, misinterpretations, misnomers, and other issues found in the folio translation of the Roman History by the Rev. Mr. Bundy.

A witty Foreigner upon reading an untrue Translation of Cæsar’s Commentaries, said: “It was a wicked Translation, for the Translator had not rendered unto Cæsar the things which were Cæsar’s.”

A clever foreigner, after reading an inaccurate translation of Caesar's Commentaries, remarked: “It was a terrible translation because the translator didn't give Caesar the things that belonged to Caesar.”

With equal truth tho’ less wit, may it be said the Translator of the Roman History has not paid the Rev. authors the TYTHE of their DUES; which in one of the same cloth is the more unpardonable.

With equal truth though less wit, it can be said that theTranslator of the Roman History has not given the Rev. authors their Tithes of Membership Fees; which, being from the same background, makes it even more unforgivable.

The Money is to be returned by Mr Ozell, to any Gentleman, who, after reading it shall come (or send a letter to him in Arundel Street, in the Strand) and declare upon Honour, he does not think the Book worth the Money.

The money will be returned by Mr. Ozell to any gentleman who, after reading it, comes to him (or sends a letter to him at Arundel Street in the Strand) and honestly declares that he doesn't think the book is worth the money.

In the Bristol Gazette for Thursday, August 28, 1788, among advertisements of the ordinary kind, some of which are noticeable as emanating from Robert and Thomas Southey, we find the following:—

In the Bristol Gazette for Thursday, August 28, 1788, among usual advertisements, some of which stand out as coming from Robert and Thomas Southey, we find the following:—

Swansea and Bristol DILIGENCE,
To carry THREE INSIDES.

Swansea and Bristol CARE,
To carry THREE INSIDES.

WILL set out from the Mackworth-Arms, Swansea, on Wednesday the 18th of June, and continue every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at four o’clock; and will arrive early the same evening at the New Passage, where a good boat will be waiting to take the Passengers over, and a Coach ready at eight o’clock the next morning to carry them to Bristol.

WILL leave the Mackworth-Arms, Swansea, on Wednesday, June 18th, and will have trips every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 4 AM; arriving that same evening at the New Passage, where a good boat will be ready to take the passengers across, and a coach will be available at 8 AM the next morning to take them to Bristol.

Also a LIGHT COACH will set out every Tuesday, Thursday, and[252] Saturday afternoon at five o’clock, from the White Lion, to meet the above Diligence.

Also, a LIGHT COACH will leave every Tuesday, Thursday, and [252] Saturday afternoon at five o’clock, from the White Lion, to connect with the Diligence mentioned above.

Fare from Bristol to Swansea 1l. 10s., passage included.

Fare from Bristol to Swansea £1.50, passage included.

Short passengers the same as the Mail Coach.

Short passengers are just like those on the Mail Coach.

N.B.—Parcels carried on moderate terms, and expeditiously delivered; but no parcels will be accounted for above 5l. value, unless entered as such and paid for accordingly.

N.B.—Packages are carried at reasonable rates and delivered promptly; however, no packages will be insured for more than £5 in value unless declared as such and paid for accordingly.

Performed by

Performed by

  • J. LAKE, Mackworth-Arms, Swansea.
  • C. NOTT, Ship and Castle, Neath.
  • C. BRADLEY, Bear, Cowbridge.
  • J. BRADLEY, Angel, Cardiff.
  • M. HOGGARD, New Passage.
  • R. CHURCH, New Passage.
  • W. CARR, White Lion, Bristol.

N.B. A COACH every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday morning, at seven o’clock, from the White Lion to the New Passage.

N.B. A COACH every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday morning at 7:00 AM, from the White Lion to the New Passage.

It is to be presumed that the line about short passengers refers to those who travel short journeys only, though a friend of ours, himself a Welshman, makes several jocular allusions to the conditions that used in the days of travelling by road in and about the Principality to be imposed on people of less than the average height. As these will be some day published in a volume, the title of which is already decided upon—“Cheese and Chuckles; or, Leeks and Laughter”—and which is intended for distribution among the bards at the annual Eisteddfod, we will not discount the sensation then to be derived from their publication, more especially as we have tried in vain and failed to understand them.

It’s assumed that the remark about short passengers refers to those who take short trips only, although a friend of ours, who is Welsh, often makes several funny references to the rules that used to be enforced for people below average height when traveling by road in and around Wales. Since these will eventually be published in a book titled “Cheese and Chuckles; or, Leeks and Laughter,” which is meant to be shared with the poets at the annual Eisteddfod, we won’t spoil the surprise they’ll create when published, especially since we’ve tried unsuccessfully to grasp them.

For those who take such interest in the poet Southey that anything connected with his family is regarded with favour, we present the following, from the same number of the Bristol Gazette, which was kindly forwarded by a gentleman on hearing that this work was in progress:—

For anyone who's interested in the poet Southey and views anything related to his family positively, we share the following excerpt from the same issue of the Bristol Gazette, which was graciously sent to us by a gentleman upon learning that this work was in progress:—

DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP.

Partnership Dissolution.

THE PARTNERSHIP between ROBERT and THOMAS SOUTHEY, Linen-drapers, &c., of this city, was by mutual consent dissolved on the 21st of July last; all persons to whom the[253] said partnership stood indebted, are to send their accounts to Robert Southey, Wine-street, and the persons indebted to them, are respectfully requested to pay the same to the said Robert Southey, who continues the trade as usual. ROBERT SOUTHEY.
THOMAS SOUTHEY.

THe PARTNERSHIP between ROBERT and THOMAS SOUTHEY, Linen-drapers, etc., of this city, was dissolved by mutual agreement on July 21st; all individuals to whom the[253] partnership owed money are requested to send their bills to Robert Southey, Wine-street, and those who owe them are kindly asked to make their payments to Robert Southey, who will carry on the business as usual. ROBERT SOUTHEY.
THOMAS SOUTHEY.

Bristol, August 8th, 1788.

Bristol, August 8, 1788.

line

R. SOUTHEY, thanks his friends in particular and the public in general, for the kind support he has hitherto experienced, and begs leave to inform them, that he is just returned from London with a large assortment of goods; particularly fine printed CALLICOES, MUSLINS, and LACE, which he is determined to sell on as low terms as any person in the trade, and solicits the early inspection of his friends.

R. Southey thanks his friends, especially, and the public in general for the generous support he has received so far. He would like to let them know that he has just returned from London with a large variety of goods, particularly high-quality printed calicoes, muslins, and lace. He is committed to selling them at prices as low as anyone else in the business and invites his friends to come and check out his new stock.

N.B.—Part of the old Stock to be sold very cheap.

N.B.—Some of the old stock is being sold at a very low price.

There is also an advertisement in the paper from Thomas Southey, who has taken up quarters in Close Street, soliciting custom and describing his wares. Our correspondent, who is a gentleman of position at Neath, and whose veracity is undoubted, says: “My father was a correspondent of Southey’s, and in one of his letters Southey says he was very nearly settling in our Vale of Neath, in a country house, the owner of which was a strong Tory, but as Southey at that early period of his life was a great Radical, he was not allowed to rent the property! If this had not been so, he says, ‘my children would have been Cambrian instead of Cumbrian.’”

There’s also an ad in the paper from Thomas Southey, who has set up shop on Close Street, promoting his goods. Our source, a respected gentleman from Neath with a solid reputation, mentions, “My father used to correspond with Southey, and in one of his letters, Southey mentions he almost settled in our Vale of Neath, in a country house owned by a staunch Tory. But since Southey was a strong Radical at that time in his life, he wasn't allowed to rent the place! If that hadn’t been the case, he says, ‘my children would have been Cambrian instead of Cumbrian.’”

Among other old customs now fast falling into desuetude, there is in Cumberland and some other parts of the north of England a practice known as the Bridewain, which consists of the public celebration of weddings. A short time after courtship is commenced—as soon as the date of the marriage is fixed—the lovers give notice of their intentions, and on the day named all their friends for miles around assemble at the intending bridegroom’s house, and join in various pastimes. A plate or bowl is generally fixed in a convenient place, where each of the company contributes[254] in proportion to his inclination and ability, and according to the degree of respect the couple are held in. By this custom a worthy pair have frequently been benefited with a sum of from fifty to a hundred pounds. The following advertisement for such a meeting is copied from the Cumberland Pacquet, 1786:—

Among other old customs that are quickly becoming obsolete, there is a tradition in Cumberland and some other areas of northern England called the Bridewain, which involves the public celebration of weddings. Soon after a couple begins their courtship—once they set a date for the marriage—they announce their intentions, and on the specified day, friends from miles around gather at the groom's house to participate in various festivities. A plate or bowl is usually placed in a convenient location where each guest can contribute according to their willingness and ability, as well as based on how much respect the couple receives. Thanks to this custom, deserving couples have often benefited from donations ranging from fifty to a hundred pounds. The following ad for such an event is taken from the Cumberland Pacquet, 1786:—

INVITATION.

Invite.

Take a break from your worries and work for one day,
And come to this wedding, kind friends and good neighbors.

NOTICE is hereby given that the marriage of ISAAC PEARSON with FRANCES ATKINSON will be solemnized in due form in the parish church of Lamplugh, in Cumberland, on Tuesday next, the 30th of May inst.; immediately after which the bride and bridegroom with their attendants will proceed to Lonefoot, in the said parish, where the nuptials will be celebrated by a variety of rural entertainments.

NNOTICE is hereby given that the marriage of ISAAC PEARSON and FRANCES ATKINSON will take place in the parish church of Lamplugh, Cumberland, on Tuesday, May 30th. Right after the ceremony, the bride and groom along with their party will head to Lonefoot in the same parish, where they will celebrate the wedding with various countryside festivities.

Then come everyone At Hymen's gentle call From Whitehaven, Workington, Harrington, Dean, Hey, Ponsonby, Blaing, and everywhere in between,
From Egremont, Cockermouth, Barton, St. Bee’s,}
Cint, Kinnyside, Calder, and areas like these;}
And the whole country can join in if they want to.}
There will be sports like few have ever seen,
Such wrestling, fencing, and dancing in between,
And races for prizes, for fun and games,}
Horses, donkeys, and dogs will be run. }
You'll all go home happy—guaranteed.}
In short, such a wedding can never fail to please; The sports of Olympus meant nothing to these people.
Note well.—You’ll please to observe that the day
This grand wedding celebration is on the thirtieth of May,
When it's hoped that the sun will brighten the view,
Like the torch of Hymen, will choose to shine brightly.

These invitations were at this period far from rare, and another, calling folk to a similar festival, appeared in the same paper in 1789:—

These invitations were quite common during this time, and another one, inviting people to a similar festival, was published in the same paper in 1789:—

BRIDEWAIN.

BRIDEWAIN.

There let Hymen often appear In a saffron robe and holding a clear candle,[255] And celebration, festivities, and merriment,
With mask and fancy display; Such sights as young poets imagine,
On summer evenings by the haunted stream.

GEORGE HAYTON, who married ANNE, the daughter of Joseph and Dinah Colin, of Crosby Mill, purposes having a BRIDEWAIN at his house, at Crosby near Maryport, on Thursday the 7th day of May next, where he will be happy to see his friends and well-wishers, for whose amusement there will be a variety of races, wrestling matches, etc. etc. The prizes will be—a saddle, two bridles, a pair of gands d’amour gloves, which whoever wins is sure to be married within the twelvemonth; a girdle (ceinture de Venus) possessing qualities not to be described; and many other articles, sports and pastimes too numerous to mention, but which can never prove tedious in the exhibition.

GEORGE HAYTON, who married ANNE, the daughter of Joseph and Dinah Colin from Crosby Mill, is hosting a BRIDEWAIN at his home in Crosby near Maryport on Thursday, May 7th. He would love to see his friends and well-wishers there. To keep everyone entertained, there will be a variety of races, wrestling matches, and more. The prizes will include a saddle, two bridles, a pair of gands d'amour gloves (whoever wins them is sure to be married within a year), a girdle (ceinture de Venus) with unexplainable qualities, and many other games and activities that are too many to list, but will never feel dull to watch.

Free from the rules and traditions of fashion,
We embrace sweet variety; Sometimes we laugh, dance, and sing; Time is always moving forward;
And nymphs and young men of Cumbria’s plain Revive the golden age.

A similar advertisement appears in the Pacquet in 1803, and contains some verses of a kind superior to that generally met in these appeals. It is called

A similar ad shows up in the Pacquet in 1803, and it includes some verses that are of a higher quality than what is usually found in these kinds of appeals. It's called

A PUBLIC BRIDAL.

A PUBLIC WEDDING.

JONATHAN and GRACE MUSGRAVE purpose having a PUBLIC BRIDAL at Low Lorton Bridge End, near Cockermouth, on THURSDAY, the 16th of June, 1803; when they will be glad to see their Friends, and all who may please to favour them with their Company;—for whose Amusement there will be various RACES, for Prizes of different kinds; and amongst others, a Saddle, and Bridle; and a Silver-tipt Hunting Horn, for Hounds to run for.—There will also be Leaping, Wrestling, &c. &c.

JJONATHAN and GRACE MUSGRAVE are hosting a PUBLIC BRIDAL at Low Lorton Bridge End, near Cockermouth, on THURSDAY, June 16, 1803; they would be happy to see their friends and anyone who would like to join them;—for entertainment, there will be various RACES with prizes of different kinds, including a saddle and bridle, and a silver-tipped hunting horn, for hounds to run for.—There will also be leaping, wrestling, etc. etc.

Commodious ROOMS are likewise engaged for DANCING PARTIES, in the Evening.

Spacious ROOMS are also reserved for DANCING PARTIES in the evening.

Come quickly to the WEDDING!—we invite you to the celebrations,
Which, helped by the season, is sure to please you: But if LOVE, JOY, and SPRING try uselessly to please you,
You still have the mild comforts of Lorton’s sweet Vale.
And where does the Goddess delight in a more charming way?
Where Zephyr offers better health benefits Gale,
[256] Than where the pure Cocker, winding through the plain,
Adorns the calm Prospects of Lorton’s sweet Vale?
Come to the BRIDAL; enjoy the sweets of our valley; Your visit, good cheer, and kind welcome will be celebrated. Around the Standard of Old English Custom, we’ll gather,—
And be blessed in Love, Friendship, and Lorton’s sweet Vale.

A correspondent, writing in Hone’s Table-Book, date August 1827, says it was in the early part of the century “a prevalent custom to have ‘bidden weddings’ when a couple of respectability and of slender means were on the eve of marriage; in this case they gave publicity to their intentions through the medium of the Cumberland Pacquet, a paper published at Whitehaven, and which about twenty-nine years ago was the only newspaper printed in the county. The editor, Mr John Ware, used to set off the invitation in a novel and amusing manner, which never failed to insure a large meeting, and frequently the contributions made on the occasion, by the visitors, were of so much importance to the new-married couple that by care and industry they were enabled to make so good ‘a fend as niver to look ahint them.’” That this or a similar custom was practised commonly a generation ago in Wales, where it is even now occasional, a notice issued from Carmarthen shows. It is peculiar, and runs thus:—

A writer for Hone’s Table-Book in August 1827 said that earlier in the century, it was a common practice to have "bidden weddings" for respectable couples with limited means about to get married. They would announce their plans through the Cumberland Pacquet, a newspaper printed in Whitehaven that was the only one in the county about twenty-nine years ago. The editor, Mr. John Ware, would present the invitation in a unique and entertaining way that always brought out a big crowd. Often, the donations from the guests were so significant that the newlyweds could manage their finances well enough that they "never had to look back." A notice from Carmarthen reveals that this or a similar custom was also commonly practiced a generation ago in Wales, where it still happens occasionally. The notice is unique and reads so:—

Carmarthen, April 12, 1836.

Carmarthen, April 12, 1836.

AS we intend to enter the MATRIMONIAL STATE on Thursday, the 5th of May next, we are encouraged by our Friends to make a BIDDING on the occasion the same Day, at the Sign of the Angel, situate in Lammas-Street; when and where the favour of your good and agreeable Company is most humbly solicited, and whatever donation you may be pleased to confer on us then, will be thankfully received, warmly acknowledged, and cheerfully repaid whenever called for on a similar occasion,

AS we plan to enter the MATRIMONIAL STATE on Thursday, the 5th of May next, our friends are encouraging us to host a gathering on that same day at the Sign of the Angel, located in Lammas Street; your kind and pleasant presence is warmly requested, and any gift you choose to give us will be greatly appreciated, sincerely acknowledged, and happily returned whenever you might ask for it in the future.

By your most obedient humble Servants,
DAVID DANIEL
(Shoemaker,)
RUTH EVANS.

From your most devoted and respectful servants,
DAVID DANIEL
(Shoe maker,)
Ruth Evans.

[257]

[257]

The Young Man, and his Mother, (Mary Daniel,) and his Brother and Sister (Joshua and Anne,) desire that all gifts of the above nature due to them, be returned on the said Day, and will be thankful for all favours granted.

The Young Man, his Mother (Mary Daniel), and his Brother and Sister (Joshua and Anne) wish for all gifts of this kind that are due to them to be returned on the specified Day, and they will appreciate any favors granted.

Also, the Young Woman, and her Mother (Sarah Evans,) and her Grand-father and Grand-mother (John and Frances Evans,) desire that all Gifts of the above nature due to them, be returned on the above Day, and will be thankful with her Uncle and Aunt (Benjamin and Margaret Evans, Penrhywcoion,) for all additional favours granted.

Also, the Young Woman, her Mother (Sarah Evans), her Grandfather and Grandmother (John and Frances Evans), want all gifts of the kind mentioned above to be returned on that day, and they will be grateful to her Uncle and Aunt (Benjamin and Margaret Evans, Penrhywcoion) for any extra favors given.

The applications made by means of the notes which follow the advertisement show that the promise made by David and Ruth to repay all amounts when called upon is something more than a mere flourish. We should not like, though, to guarantee that these promises were always kept, and have no doubt that the concocters of the foregoing found, as so many others did before them, and not a few have done since, that kindness is generally obtained from the least expected, and often the least valued, quarter. This is a glorious dispensation of providence, and few people who have experienced misfortune, or have been in want of assistance, but have felt how compensating is the hidden power which guides our destinies. Yet writers who constantly rail about the insincerity of friendship make little or no mention of those truest friends, the friends who appear uninvoked, and do whatever has been asked in vain of others who may have promised freely, or who are in fact indebted to those they ignore in the moment of adversity.

The applications made through the following notes to the advertisement show that the promise made by David and Ruth to repay all amounts when needed is more than just a gesture. However, we wouldn't want to guarantee that these promises were always kept. We’re sure that the creators of the previous notes found, like so many before and after them, that kindness often comes from the most unexpected and usually the least appreciated sources. This is a wonderful aspect of life, and few people who have faced hardship or needed help haven't felt the compensating force that guides our paths. Yet, writers who often criticize the insincerity of friendship rarely mention those true friends—the ones who come forward uninvited and do what others have failed to do, even those who may have freely promised or are actually indebted to the ones they overlook in tough times.

Burly old Grose, the friend of Burns, in his “Olio” gives a curious specimen of composition, which he says was the effort of a mayor in one of our University towns, though which is not stated. It tells us that—

Burly old Grose, a friend of Burns, in his “Olio” gives an interesting example of writing, which he claims was made by a mayor in one of our university towns, although the specific town isn’t mentioned. It tells us that—

WHEREAS, a Multiplicity of Dangers are often incurred by Damage of outrageous Accidents by Fire, we whose Names are undersigned, have thought proper that the Benefit of an Engine, bought by us, for the better Extinguishing of which, by the Accidents of Almighty God, may unto us happen, to make a Rate to gather Benevolence for the better propagating such useful Instruments.

WHEREAS, a variety of dangers often arise from devastating fires, we, the undersigned, believe it is important to raise funds to support the purchase of equipment that will help us more effectively extinguish fires caused by unforeseen events. We aim to create a system for gathering donations to promote the use of these valuable tools.

Some clever student of style may be able to tell, by a[258] clue invisible to the uninitiated, whether this is Oxford or Cambridge. We are not learned in such matters, and so prefer to admire, without troubling ourselves to identify.

Some savvy student of style might be able to tell, by a[258] clue that’s invisible to the untrained eye, whether this is from Oxford or Cambridge. We aren’t knowledgeable in these details, so we simply choose to appreciate it without worrying about figuring it out.

Poetical advertisements were not at all uncommon a hundred years ago and less. The demand for space, and the steam-engine rate at which we live now, have, however, destroyed not only the opportunity for them, but their use. Towards the close of the last century there lived in the Canongate, Edinburgh, one Gavin Wilson, a hard-working bootmaker, or, as his sign described him, “Arm, Leg and Boot maker, but not to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.” He was a singular fellow, and was the inventor of an art for hardening and polishing leather, so as to be workable into powder-flasks, snuff-boxes, drinking-mugs, ink-cases, and other articles of a similar kind. His genius did not stop at this rough work, but enabled him to form a German flute and a violin, both of leather, which, for neatness of workmanship and melodiousness of tone, were, friendly critics said, not a bit inferior to any fiddle or flute formed of wood. His greatest triumphs, however, were artificial arms and legs, also made of leather, which not only completely remedied loss of limb, but also closely resembled their human prototypes, being covered with skin, nails, &c. The unexampled success of his endeavours in this way was curiously illustrated by a person who, having lost both his hands by a cannon-shot, was provided with a new and useful pair by Gavin Wilson. This man expressed his gratitude in a letter of thanks, written with the artificial hands, which appeared in the Caledonian Mercury for 1779, along with an advertisement of the ingenious mechanic. Wilson had also pretensions to wit, and was occasionally a votary of what Foote once described as the Tuneful Ten. “Nine and one are ten,” said Foote one day to an accountant, who was anxious the wit should hear his poetry, and who commenced, “Hear me, O Phœbus and ye Tuneful Nine!” Having got so far, he accused Foote of inattention;[259] but the latter said, “Nine and one are ten—go on,” which was too near the shop to be pleasant. The following advertisement may serve as a specimen of Wilson’s poetical attempts:—

Poetic advertisements were quite common a hundred years ago and even less. However, the demand for space and the fast-paced life we live today have eliminated not only the chance for them but also their purpose. Toward the end of the last century, in Canongate, Edinburgh, there lived a hardworking bootmaker named Gavin Wilson, who referred to himself on his sign as “Arm, Leg and Boot maker, but not to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.” He was a unique character and invented a method for hardening and polishing leather that made it suitable for creating powder flasks, snuff boxes, drinking mugs, ink cases, and similar items. His creativity didn’t stop there; he also managed to make a German flute and a violin from leather, which, according to friendly critics, were just as good in craftsmanship and sound as any wooden fiddle or flute. However, his greatest achievements were artificial arms and legs, also made of leather, which not only effectively replaced lost limbs but also closely resembled their human counterparts, complete with skin, nails, and so on. The extraordinary success of his work was particularly highlighted by a man who lost both hands to a cannon shot and was given a new pair by Gavin Wilson. This man expressed his gratitude in a letter of thanks, which he wrote using his artificial hands, and it was published in the Caledonian Mercury in 1779, along with an ad for the clever mechanic. Wilson also fancied himself a wit and sometimes enjoyed what's known as the Tuneful Ten, as Foote once called them. One day, Foote told an accountant, eager for him to hear his poetry, “Nine and one are ten,” after the accountant started with "Hear me, O Phœbus and ye Tuneful Nine!” When the accountant accused Foote of not paying attention after getting that far, Foote replied, “Nine and one are ten—go on,” which was a bit too close to the shop to be enjoyable. The following advertisement may serve as a sample of Wilson’s poetic attempts:—

G. Wilson modestly as before
Resumes his gratitude again
For favors once enjoyed Involved in public employment. And hopes this public announcement
Will meet with open acceptance.
The world knows he makes boots perfectly. And, as times change, he sells them for a low price.
It is also known to many hundreds Who was amazed by his recent invention, That polished leather boxes, cases, Now widely recognized in many places,
With powder flasks and porter mugs, And articulated leather arms and legs.
Designed for both function and appearance,
For example read below, __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Was his invention; and no claim Is just by another name.
With higher production numbers,
In leather never done before. During these slow times, when I'm nearly doing nothing,
He tried and made a leather fiddle.
Of extremely neat craftsmanship,
Of a tone that is genuine, both gentle and pleasant. And finding leather not silent He made a leather flute, Which performed just as well and was just as good As any that has ever been made of wood.
He seeks entertainment for a little while. Wrote this cool ad,
Letting you know he lives there. At the top of Canongate, on the south side,
Up the first wooden railing stairs,
You'll definitely find his Whimship there.
In Britain, no one can match you better. Than can your servant the Bootmaker.

Gavin Wilson.

Gavin Wilson.

[260]

[260]

Notwithstanding that their day is past, occasional poetical advertisements are to be found in the papers now. They are, as a rule, infinitely bad, and the following is so very different from the general run of them, that we cannot help quoting it. Perhaps it was written after taking a dose of “Lamplough,” which is said on authority to have so many beneficial effects, that power over writers of verse in general, and the writer of the following in particular, may easily be included among them. So all minor poets had better study this, which we extract from a “weekly” a year or so ago:—

Even though their time has passed, you can still find occasional poetic ads in the papers today. Usually, they are incredibly bad, but the following one is so different from the usual that we can't help but share it. Maybe it was written after taking a dose of “Lamplough,” which is said by some to have so many positive effects that influencing poets in general—and the writer of this poem in particular—could easily be among them. So, all minor poets might want to take a look at this, which we pulled from a weekly publication about a year ago:—

A DRINKING SONG.

A Drinking Song.

If your mood ever feels down, low,
And bitter; I think you should, Just drink a large glass of Lamplough—
Of Lamplough’s Pyretic Saline.
The title is quirky and unusual—
Is likely intentional—
But they say for heartburn disturbances There's nothing like Pyretic Saline.
Don’t ask me to explain,
Or tell me I'm just a lowly rascal,
If I can share more about Pyretic
Saline made by Lamplough.

A second good specimen was published in a theatrical paper at the time when Mr J. S. Clarke, an American comedian, whose strength is in his advertisements, and who is well known this side the Atlantic, was playing in “The Rivals.” It is entitled

A second good example was published in a theater magazine while Mr. J. S. Clarke, an American comedian known for his advertising skills and who is well-known on this side of the Atlantic, was performing in “The Rivals.” It is titled

SAVED.

SAVED.

It was a chilly November evening in the bustling town
A thick cloud of yellow fog was slowly settling down; On the Waterloo bridge, consumed by desperate madness,
There was a man with a prominent brow and a deeply lined face that showed worry.
He took one last look around, then glanced at the river. That gloomy gaze of reckless determination he intended to be his final one. Far down the old cathedral, a shadow was grey and dim,
The light of day would shine on that but never again on him.
[261]
A single dive into the murky water would put an end to the bitter conflict.
"What is there now," he cried, "that makes me want to hold on to life?"
Just then, the sound of stomping feet struck his attentive ear,
A sandwich board man on his route stopped under the bright lamplight.
With a quick glance, he read the sign hanging on his back,
He jumped down from the wall and slapped his thigh. "I need to see that," he exclaimed—the words that chased away his sorrow. "John S. Clarke was playing Acres at the Charing Cross tonight."

Another of these effusions, well worthy of insertion here, appeared quite recently in a humorous paper, and is devoted to the interests of Messrs Cook & Son, the tourist agents. Whether or not it was paid for as an advertisement, they must have found it valuable. Despite the sneers of several small wits whom fortune has enabled to travel in the old expensive mode, there are very many who are neither cads nor snobs, whatever the distinction may be, and whose greatest sin is a paucity of income, that have felt the benefit of the popular excursionists’ endeavours. The verses are called

Another one of these pieces, definitely worth sharing here, recently appeared in a humor magazine and is focused on the interests of Messrs Cook & Son, the travel agents. Whether or not it was paid for as an ad, they must have found it useful. Despite the mockery from a few small-minded individuals who have been fortunate enough to travel in the old, expensive way, there are many people who are neither rude nor pretentious, whatever the difference might be, and whose biggest flaw is a lack of income, who have benefited from the popular excursions' efforts. The poem is titled

COOK’S PERQUISITES.

COOK’S MUST-HAVES.

In longitude 6092,
Latitude nothing, the good ship, Salt Beef,
Caught in a storm, the worst that ever blew,
Got stuck on the reef of a coral island.
Her back was broken, so she was split in two,
The crew and captain perished, every single one; Just a pig, a few chickens, and two calves,
And the one passenger got away to the shore.
King Bungaroo, along with the entire royal entourage, Was waiting to meet him on the beach;
And noticing he was plump and good to eat,
Received him warmly with polite words.
The group, who watched their upcoming feast, Their stomach areas rubbed with thankful paws,
And wondered if the king would have him cooked, You can boil him, roast him, or just eat him raw!
The hungry passenger understood their meaning. As dinner is hinted at in a somewhat vague way, And smiling at the idea, little thought That they meant feasting on—and not with—him!
[262]
But, as you prepare a bird before it's cooked,
The suite went first in everything. The pockets of their victim to empty,
And placed their loot in front of the king.
The monarch pointed at something over there—
Then grabbed the prisoner’s hand and shouted, “Bo, bingo wobli! Chungum raggadare.
Howinki croblob? Boo! Ouchingadowd!”
Which means—“Let go of this nice guy.
Check out those coupons! Look at that small green book!
Put out the fire—hang up the frying pan!
"We can't eat him. He's Cook's!"

But turning back to the early times on which we started in quest of amusing advertisements, we come upon a fictitious letter addressed to Sylvanus Urban in the Gentleman’s Magazine for September 1803, which is signed Maria Elderly, and falls sadly foul of the indecorous announcements then so plentiful. It runs thus: “Good Mr Urban,—You must know, Sir, I am a married woman and a mother (I bless Heaven!) of several not unpromising daughters. We read most of the best English and French authors together as we sit at our work: that is to say one reads aloud whilst the rest draw, sew, or embroider. The hours thus pass more pleasantly; and our amusement I will hope is productive of solid mental profit. It is a proverbial good-natured joke with young gentlemen that curiosity is of the feminine gender. I will not stop to dispute the matter with such acute grammarians; but will rather honestly admit that (although I think otherwise) perhaps ‘much may be said on both sides.’ Nay, I will own, Sir, that what with the natural timidity of my sex, and the fear of Bonaparte’s invasion, I do feel a little hankering or so, to learn how the world of politics is conducted. I therefore have lately taken in a certain fashionable morning newspaper, and was much amused at first with its contents. But, my dear Mr Urban, I fancy I must give up this paper; and as I find[263] you are a married gentleman, I will at once tell you why: I have often been vexed, Sir, at the sight of certain indecorous advertisements. Proof is better than accusation at all times. I will therefore just allude to a few, which, however, I assure you, are not the worst. I know you cannot expect me to transcribe them. The first instance I shall notice, is in the paper of April 21, 1803, where ‘a lady near 30, wishes to be companion to a single gentleman;’ and as a proof of the impropriety of this advertisement, Mr O. of Dover Street (to whom the lady referred) thought it necessary pointedly to deny all knowledge of her in another advertisement of April 28. In the paper of May 5, I read that ‘a widow-lady pleasing in her person, &c., solicits the loan of £40 from a gentleman.’ The lady refers to a house in Dean Street, Soho. In that of May 26 ‘a young female intreats the loan of £130 from a nobleman or gentleman of fortune.’ She refers to Curriers’ Row, Black friars. In that of June 1, a young lady (who refers to the post-office, Blandford Street, Portman Square) inserts a most unqualified proposal indeed. In that of June 16, the proposal is repeated in still more impertinent terms. The lady now refers to Eyre Street, Hatton Garden. In that of June 18, appear two advertisements from females, of a very curious nature, addressed to two young men. Both are assignations; and they are expressed too in very intelligible terms, I do assure you. I believe you will agree with me that such advertisements can do no good and may do much harm. I could enlarge my list very greatly, by pointing your eyes to paragraphs of a later date; but the subject is a very unpleasant one, and I at present forbear. ‘My poverty, but not my will consents’ may do in a play; but it is a sad excuse for the editor of a daily publication: and it is criminal, Sir, when we consider how many young minds may thus be empoisoned.” We trust this letter will be taken as evidence that we have in the preceding chapter by no means selected the worst specimens of the style which[264] pervaded advertisements at the close of the last century and beginning of the present.

But turning back to the early days when we started looking for amusing advertisements, we come across a made-up letter addressed to Sylvanus Urban in the Gentleman’s Magazine from September 1803, signed by Maria Elderly, which criticizes the inappropriate ads that were so common back then. It goes like this: “Good Mr. Urban,—You must know, Sir, I am a married woman and a mother (thank Heaven!) of several promising daughters. We read most of the best English and French authors together while we work: one of us reads aloud while the others draw, sew, or embroider. This way, the hours pass more pleasantly, and I hope our fun is also beneficial for our minds. It's a well-known joke among young gentlemen that curiosity is feminine. I won't argue that with such sharp grammarians; instead, I'll admit that (though I disagree) maybe ‘there’s something to be said on both sides.’ In fact, I’ll confess, Sir, that due to the natural timidity of my gender, and the fear of Bonaparte’s invasion, I do find myself a little curious about how politics works. So, I recently subscribed to a certain trendy morning newspaper, and I was quite entertained by its content at first. But, my dear Mr. Urban, I think I must cancel this subscription; and since I see you’re a married gentleman, I’ll tell you why: I’ve often been frustrated by certain inappropriate advertisements. Proof is better than accusation at all times, so I’ll just mention a few, which I assure you are not the worst. You can’t expect me to write them all down. The first one I’ll mention is from the paper dated April 21, 1803, where ‘a lady near 30 wishes to be a companion to a single gentleman;’ and as proof of this ad's impropriety, Mr. O. of Dover Street (the gentleman the lady referred to) felt the need to publicly deny knowing her in another ad on April 28. In the May 5 issue, I read that ‘a widow-lady pleasing in her person, etc., requests a loan of £40 from a gentleman.’ The lady gives a house in Dean Street, Soho as her reference. In the May 26 paper, ‘a young female requests a loan of £130 from a nobleman or a gentleman of fortune.’ She refers to Curriers’ Row, Blackfriars. In the June 1 issue, a young lady (who refers to the post-office at Blandford Street, Portman Square) makes a rather bold proposal indeed. In the June 16 paper, the proposal reappears in even ruder terms. The lady now refers to Eyre Street, Hatton Garden. In the June 18 paper, there are two ads from females, of a very curious nature, directed at two young men. Both are hookups, and they are expressed in very clear terms, I assure you. I believe you’ll agree with me that such ads can do no good and may do a lot of harm. I could greatly expand my list by pointing you to later paragraphs; however, the topic is quite unpleasant, and I’ll refrain for now. ‘My poverty, but not my will, consents’ might work in a play; but it’s a poor excuse for the editor of a daily publication: and it is criminal, Sir, when we think about how many young minds might be poisoned this way.” We hope this letter serves as evidence that in the previous chapter we definitely didn’t choose the worst examples of the style that dominated advertisements at the end of the last century and the start of this one.

The believers in vested interests may see by an advertisement of the year 1804, that proprietorial rights were respected in those days even among beggars:—

The believers in vested interests may see by an advertisement from 1804 that ownership rights were respected back then, even among homeless people:—

TO be disposed of for the benefit of the poor widow a Blind Man’s WALK in a charitable neighbourhood, the comings-in between twenty-five and twenty-six shillings a week, with a dog well drilled, and a staff in good repair. A handsome premium will be expected. For further particulars, inquire at No. 40, Chiswell Street.

TO be given away for the benefit of a poor widow, a Blind Man’s WALK in a supportive neighborhood, making between twenty-five and twenty-six shillings a week, with a well-trained dog and a properly maintained staff. A good price is expected. For more details, contact No. 40, Chiswell Street.

The halcyon days of cadgers and crossing-sweepers are over, and we no longer hear of members of either profession leaving fortunes. It has often been source of wonder to us how a right was maintained in any particular crossing or walk. It is presumable, of course, that no action would lie in the event of one man taking another’s favourite corner; yet, if story-tellers are to be depended upon, the “good-wills” of these places in days gone by were worth not hundreds alone, but thousands of pounds. The new police and the mendicity societies have considerably disturbed such sinecures, and even those affectionate parents that of late years lived on the earnings of their young, who pretended to sell cigar-lights and newspapers, but who in reality begged freely, have been driven to earn their own meals by the officers of the various school-boards. So passes away the glory of free trade from this over-legislated and effete old country, where no one is allowed to do as he likes if it at all interferes with the comfort of his neighbours—except, of course, when he is rich and the neighbour is poor. Passing on to 1811, we come upon a quaint request for a servant in the Morning Post of December 4:—

The golden days of street beggars and crossing sweepers are gone, and we no longer hear about members of either profession amassing fortunes. It often amazes us how ownership of a specific crossing or spot was maintained. It's likely that no action could be taken if one person took another's favorite corner; however, if we can trust the storytellers, the “good-wills” of these spots in the past were worth not just hundreds, but thousands of pounds. The new police forces and charity organizations have significantly disrupted these cushy jobs, and even those doting parents who recently relied on their children’s earnings—who pretended to sell cigar lights and newspapers but were actually begging—have been forced to earn their own living by the officers of various school boards. Thus fades the glory of free trade from this over-regulated and exhausted old country, where no one is allowed to do as they please if it interferes with the comfort of their neighbors—unless, of course, they are rich and their neighbor is poor. Moving on to 1811, we come across an interesting job ad in the Morning Post from December 4:—

A COOK-HOUSEMAID, or HOUSEMAID-COOK is wanted, for the service of a single gentleman, where only one other, a manservant is kept. The age of the woman wanted must not be less than 25, nor more than 40 years; and it is requisite that she should be equally excellent in the two capacities of Cook and Housemaid. Her character[265] must be unexceptionable for sobriety, honesty and cleanliness. The sobriety, however, which consists in drinking deep without staggering will not do; nor will the honesty suffice which would make up for the possible absence of pilfering by waste. Neither will the cleanliness answer which is content with bustling only before the employer’s eyes—a sure symptom of a slattern. The servant advertised for, must be thoroughly and truly cleanly, honest and sober. As it is probable that not a drab out of place who reads this advertisement but will be for imposing herself, though, perhaps, incapable of cooking a sprat, and about as nice as a Hottentot, all such are warned not to give themselves useless trouble. On the other hand, a steady, clean woman, really answering the above description, will, by applying as below, hear of a place not easy equalled in comfort; where the wages are good and constantly increasing, and where servants are treated as fellow-creatures, and with a kindness, which, to the discredit of their class, is seldom merited. Personal application to be made, from one to three o’clock, to Mr Danvers, perfumer, No. 16, Craven Street, Strand.

A Cook and housekeeper, or HOUSEMAID-COOK is wanted for a single gentleman, where only one other person, a manservant, is employed. The woman sought must be between 25 and 40 years old and should be skilled in both cooking and housekeeping. Her character[265] must be impeccable regarding sobriety, honesty, and cleanliness. However, being sober means not just drinking heavily without staggering; honesty must go beyond simply not stealing and not wasting. Cleanliness should not be limited to appearances while the employer is watching—a clear sign of a slovenly worker. The servant required must be genuinely clean, honest, and sober. It’s likely that anyone reading this advertisement who doesn't meet these standards might try to apply, even if they can’t cook anything well or keep themselves tidy, so such individuals are advised not to waste their time. On the other hand, a reliable and clean woman who genuinely fits the description above will find a position that is hard to match in terms of comfort, with good and steadily increasing wages, where employees are treated with respect and kindness that, unfortunately, is often undeserved. Personal applications are to be made between one and three o’clock to Mr. Danvers, perfumer, No. 16, Craven Street, Strand.

Here we have the crotchety old bachelor of the novels to the life. This advertiser was evidently a judge of character, and doubtless one of the kindest-hearted of men, but irascible and touchy, subject to twinges of gout, and possessed of a horror of east winds. A man who would scorn to be affected by the most pitiful story, yet whose hand was always in his pocket, and whose sympathy always meant relief as well. Where are all these good old creatures gone? Are they all dead, and is the race extinct? Frankly we must admit that we never met with any one of them, though we should very much like to, as we could in our own person find plenty of opportunity for the disposition of extra benevolence. It is said that the brothers Cheeryble had an actual existence, and perhaps they had, but if so, they managed to conceal their identity extremely successfully. We remember once meeting two brothers in business, who in appearance and manner were exactly like Nickleby’s benefactors; but two more astute individuals were not to be found in the three kingdoms. And on the strength of this likeness they possessed a great reputation for a benevolence which never had even a symptom of[266] real being. Apropos of those imaginary philanthropists the Cheerybles, we present one of the advertisements which were called forth by their appearance in the story. It is from the Times, and was published February 7, 1844:—

Here we have the grumpy old bachelor straight out of the novels. This advertiser was clearly good at reading people and was likely one of the kindest-hearted men, but also irritable and sensitive, prone to gout, and had a strong aversion to east winds. He would scoff at the most pathetic story, yet his hand was always reaching for his wallet, and his sympathy always translated into financial help. Where have all these good old souls gone? Are they all gone, and is their kind extinct? Honestly, we have to admit that we’ve never met anyone like them, though we would really like to, as we could definitely use the chance to practice some extra kindness ourselves. It’s said that the Cheeryble brothers were real people, and maybe they were, but if so, they were incredibly adept at hiding their identities. I remember meeting two brothers in business who looked and acted just like Nickleby’s benefactors; but they were two of the shrewdest characters you could find across the three kingdoms. And based on that resemblance, they gained a huge reputation for a kindness that never showed any actual signs of being real. Speaking of those fictional philanthropists, the Cheerybles, here’s one of the ads that came out because of their appearance in the story. It’s from the Times, published on February 7, 1844:—

TO THE BROTHERS CHEERYBLE, or any who have hearts like theirs. A clergyman, who will gladly communicate his name and address, desires to introduce the case of a gentleman, equal at least to Nickleby in birth, worthy, like him, for refinement of character, even of the best descent; like him, of spotless integrity, and powerfully beloved by friends who cannot help him, but no longer, like Nickleby, sustained by the warm buoyancy of youthful blood. The widowed father of young children, he has spent his all in the struggles of an unsuccessful but honourable business, and has now for eighteen months been vainly seeking some stipendiary employment.—To all who have ever known him he can refer for commendation. Being well versed in accounts, though possessed of education, talents, and experience, which would render him invaluable as a private secretary, he would accept with gratitude even a clerk’s stool and daily bread. Any communication addressed to the Rev. B. C., Post-office, Cambridge, will procure full particulars, ample references, and the introduction of the party, who is now in town, and ignorant of this attempt to serve him.

TO THE BROTHERS CHEERYBLE, or anyone who shares their compassion. A clergyman, who is happy to share his name and address, wants to bring attention to a gentleman who is at least as well-born as Nickleby, deserving of respect for his character, with an impressive background; like Nickleby, he has a reputation for honesty and is deeply loved by friends who are unable to assist him, but unlike Nickleby, he is no longer buoyed by the energy of youth. As a widowed father of young children, he has invested everything he had in the struggles of an unsuccessful but honorable business, and for the past eighteen months, he has been unsuccessfully searching for a paying job. He can be recommended by anyone who has known him. He is well-skilled in accounting, and although he has the education, talent, and experience that would make him invaluable as a private secretary, he would be grateful for even a clerk’s position just to earn a living. Any inquiries directed to the Rev. B. C., Post-office, Cambridge, will provide more details, several references, and an introduction for the individual, who is currently in town and unaware of this effort to help him.

Dickens, knowing his power at that time, must have laughed in his sleeve at the trick he was playing the professional swindler when he portrayed the brothers; though, if we are to believe what we are told in the preface to a subsequent edition of his book, the noble army of begging-letter writers and suchlike impostors had ample revenge, for he was pestered nearly to death with importunities to reveal the real name and address of purely mythical characters. Inventors of appeals to the benevolent, either by way of letter or advertisement, are a hard-working race, and must find the task of enlisting sympathy much more difficult than it was when Mr Puff tided over a time of misfortune by aid of the charitable and credulous. It is possible even now, despite the efforts of societies and detectives who give themselves entirely to the work of unmasking counterfeits, to find one or two of those heart-stirring appeals to the benevolent which have maintained many an impostor in idleness for years[267] together. Like Puff did in his time, though evidently less and less successfully, these advertisers support themselves upon their inventions by means of the proceeds of addresses “to the charitable and humane,” or “to those whom providence has blessed with affluence.” The account which Puff gives of his fictitious misfortunes so little exaggerates the advertisements which appear occasionally in the Times, that it is well to the point, and worthy of quoting. “I suppose,” he says, “never man went through such a series of calamities in the same space of time. I was five times made a bankrupt, and reduced from a state of affluence by a train of unavoidable misfortunes. Then, though a very industrious tradesman, I was twice burnt out, and lost my little all both times. I lived upon those fires a month. I soon after was confined by a most excruciating disorder, and lost the use of my limbs. That told very well; for I had the case strongly attested, and went about to collect the subscriptions myself! Afterwards, I was a close prisoner in the Marshalsea for a debt benevolently contracted to serve a friend. I was then reduced to—oh no!—then I became a widow with six helpless children. Well, at last, what with bankruptcies, fires, gouts, dropsies, imprisonments, and other valuable calamities, having got together a pretty handsome sum, I determined to quit a business which had always gone rather against my conscience.”

Dickens, aware of his influence at the time, must have chuckled to himself at the trick he was playing on the professional con artist when he portrayed the brothers; although, if we are to believe what we read in the preface to a later edition of his book, the noble group of begging-letter writers and similar frauds got their revenge, as he was nearly bombarded to death with requests to reveal the real name and address of purely fictional characters. People who create appeals for sympathy, whether through letters or ads, work hard and likely find it much more challenging to gain sympathy now than it was back when Mr. Puff got through a tough time with help from the charitable and gullible. Even today, despite the efforts of organizations and detectives dedicated to exposing fakes, you can still find a few of those touching appeals for the benevolent that have kept more than one fraud living comfortably for years[267]. Like Puff did in his time, although clearly less successfully, these advertisers support themselves through their fabrications by means of their appeals “to the charitable and humane,” or “to those whom providence has blessed with wealth.” Puff's account of his made-up misfortunes hardly exaggerates the ads that occasionally appear in the Times, making it quite relevant and worth quoting. “I suppose,” he says, “never man went through such a series of calamities in the same amount of time. I was declared bankrupt five times, and went from being wealthy to broke due to a string of unavoidable misfortunes. Then, even though I was a very hardworking tradesman, I was burned out twice and lost everything each time. I survived on those fires for a month. Shortly after, I was struck down by a terrible illness and lost the use of my limbs. That was a compelling story; I had strong evidence to back it up, and I even went around collecting donations myself! After that, I was a prisoner in the Marshalsea for a debt I kindly took on to help a friend. Then I was reduced to—oh no!—then I became a widow with six helpless children. Well, eventually, with bankruptcies, fires, gout, dropsy, imprisonments, and other fortunate disasters adding up, I managed to gather a decent sum, and decided to leave a business that always troubled my conscience.”

But leaving “The Critic,” and the ideas which the specimens just given have promoted, we will fall back upon an advertisement of a truly humorous nature, which is given to the world as long back as 1816. What householder who has improved his dwelling for the benefit of a grasping proprietor will not sympathise with the writer of this?—

But moving on from “The Critic” and the ideas sparked by the examples I just shared, let's focus on an advertisement that's genuinely humorous, dating back to 1816. What homeowner who has made improvements to their home for the benefit of a greedy landlord won't relate to the author of this?—

WANTED IMMEDIATELY, to enable me to leave the house which I have for these last five years inhabited, in the same plight and condition in which I found it, 500 LIVE RATS, for which I will gladly pay the sum of £5 sterling; and as I cannot leave the farm attached thereto in the same order in which I got it, without at[268] least Five Millions of Docks, Dockens (weeds), I do hereby promise a further sum of £5 for said number of Dockens. Apply ——.

WANTED IMMEDIATELY, so I can leave the house I’ve been living in for the last five years in the same state I found it, 500 LIVE RATS, for which I will happily pay £5. Since I can’t leave the farm it’s attached to in the same condition without at least Five Million Dockens (weeds), I promise an additional £5 for that amount of Dockens. Contact ——.

Dated, 31 October, 1816.

Dated, October 31, 1816.

N.B. The Rats must be full grown, and no cripples.

N.B. The rats must be fully grown and not disabled.

In close companionship with the above we find another, which for peculiarity is quite as noticeable. The advertiser has evidently studied humanity without receiving much benefit from his researches, unless the knowledge that he is vastly superior to every one else is a benefit. If the advertisement were not a swindle, of which it seems very suggestive, it is not unreasonable to suppose that failure attended upon it, for no man who believed to such an extent in himself could ever be brought to have faith in another:—

In close association with the previous point, we find another one that's just as striking. The advertiser clearly thinks he understands people, but he doesn't seem to gain much from his observations, unless believing he’s way better than everyone else counts as a gain. If the advertisement weren't a scam, which it strongly suggests it is, it wouldn’t be surprising if it led to failure, because no one who believes in themselves that much could ever trust someone else:—

IT is the general desire of princes and opulent men to live friendless—they gain obsequiousness, adulation, and dependents, but not friends: the sycophants that surround them disappear when the lure that attracted them is lost: beguiled by blandishments, deceived by hypocrisy, and lulled by professions they do not discover imposture till adversity detects it. The evil is unbounded—they never obtain a sincere opinion, whether regarding pecuniary embarrassment or domestic dissension—in any perplexed or unhappy event they receive no counsel but that which benefits the sinister views of him who gives it. Of what advantage is fortune if it transforms friends into parasites, and we are to live in constant delusion; or isolated and secluded, we must exist like hermits to shun intercourse with our fellow-beings, and escape perfidy? One whose affluence precludes speculation, who has proved himself undaunted in danger and unshaken in fidelity, proffers his friendship to him who deserves it, and will know how to appreciate it;—his reading has not afforded mere abstract knowledge, but has been rendered auxiliary for a vast intercourse with the world; years have furnished experience, reflection has improved it. His advice and aid he hopes is not insignificant, be the station of him who requires them ever so elevated. As there can be no independence where there is not equality of circumstances, no one of inferior condition can be noticed.

IT is the general desire of wealthy people and rulers to live without friends—they end up surrounded by sycophants who offer flattery and dependency but no true friendship. The people who flock to them vanish when the appeal that drew them in is gone. Misled by empty praises, tricked by deceit, and lulled by false promises, they only realize the deceit when hardship reveals it. The problem is immense—they never get honest opinions, whether it’s about financial troubles or family conflicts—in any difficult or unhappy situation, they receive advice that only serves the ulterior motives of the person giving it. What good is wealth if it turns friends into parasites, forcing us to live in constant falsehoods; or if we must live like hermits to avoid betrayal? Someone whose wealth protects him from uncertainty, who has shown bravery in danger and loyalty in friendship, offers his friendship to those who deserve it and who will appreciate it; his knowledge isn't just theoretical—it has been shaped by extensive interactions with the world; years have provided him experience, and reflection has refined it. He hopes his advice and support are valuable, regardless of how high the status is of the person seeking them. There can be no true independence where there isn't an equality of circumstances; no one of a lower status can be acknowledged.

Still about the same period we come upon the advertisement of an Irish schoolmaster, which for inflation, pomposity, and ignorance is perhaps unrivalled. It is only fair, while quoting this, to say that Mr Hendrick is not by any means[269] a good specimen of the Irish teacher, who is, as a rule, modest, conscientious, and chokeful of learning. This extract forcibly reminds us of one of Samuel Lover’s characters:—

Still around the same time, we come across an ad for an Irish schoolmaster that stands out for its exaggeration, arrogance, and lack of knowledge. It's only fair to mention, while quoting this, that Mr. Hendrick is definitely not a good example of an Irish teacher, who is usually humble, dedicated, and full of knowledge. This excerpt strongly brings to mind one of Samuel Lover's characters:—

Mr Hendrick’s devoir to the gentry of Limerick.

Mr. Hendrick's responsibility to the gentry of Limerick.

WOULD be elated to assign his attention for the instruction of eight or ten Pupils, to attend on their houses each second day, to teach the French language, Geography on the Principles of Astronomy, traversing the Globe by sea and land on the rudiments of a right angle, with a variety of pleasing Problems, attached to Manners, Customs, &c. of different Countries, Trade and Commerce; Phenomenons on Volcanos, Thunder, Sound, Lightning, &c. Such as please to continue, may advance through a Course of Natural Philosophy, and those proficient in French can be taught the above in that Language.

WOULD be thrilled to dedicate his time to instructing eight or ten students, visiting their homes every other day, teaching the French language, Geography based on the principles of Astronomy, exploring the world by land and sea with the basics of right angles, along with a variety of engaging problems related to the customs and traditions of different countries, trade and commerce; phenomena related to volcanoes, thunder, sound, lightning, etc. Those who wish to continue can progress through a course of Natural Philosophy, and those proficient in French can be taught the above subjects in that language.

N.B. At intervals would instruct in the Italian Language.

N.B. Occasionally would teach in Italian.

Please to inquire at Mr Barry, Newtown-Perry.

Please inquire at Mr. Barry, Newtown-Perry.

J. Hendrick, Philomathos.

J. Hendrick, Philomathos.

In a Jersey newspaper for December 1821 there is a very funny advertisement for a lost dog—so funny indeed is it that it seems more than likely to have been a hoax, or a hit at the peculiarly broken English identified with the Channel Islands. Still it appears as an advertisement, and so we append it:—

In a Jersey newspaper from December 1821, there's a really hilarious ad for a lost dog—it's so funny that it probably was a joke or a play on the unique broken English typical of the Channel Islands. Yet, it still shows up as an ad, so we're including it:—

LOSE.—Dere ave bin von doge, dat vil replay to de appel of “Outre;” he is betwin de couleur of de vite and de bruin, dere is belif he was delay by some personne on propos, as he was vont by de oner on Monday next for to come to de chasse, as he kno vere was de hairs. Applie of de oner at de Printure.

LOSE.—There has been one dog that will respond to the call of "Outre;" he is between the color of white and brown, and there is belief he was held back by someone on purpose, as he was supposed to come to the hunt this coming Monday, since he knows where the hares are. Apply to the owner at the Printer.

As a companion, here is the following from the Handelsblad of Amsterdam. It is much more natural than the Jersey effusion, and is evidently an attempt to write the language known on the Continent and abroad generally as American. It will be recollected that one of the last requests of the Emperor Nicholas during the Crimean war was that, in gratitude for the efforts at assistance made by the good people of the United States, the cadets in the military schools should be taught the American language. This must be near to his idea of it:—

As a companion, here is the following from the Handelsblad of Amsterdam. It feels much more natural than the Jersey version and is clearly an attempt to write in the language commonly referred to on the Continent and abroad as American. It should be remembered that one of the last requests of Emperor Nicholas during the Crimean War was that, in gratitude for the help provided by the good people of the United States, the cadets in the military schools should be taught the American language. This must be close to his idea of it:—

[270]

[270]

MEDAILLE of SILVER at New-York.
MEDAILLE of GOLD at Paris, London and Berlin.

MEDAL of SILVER in New York.
MEDAL of GOLD in Paris, London, and Berlin.

The very celebrated AMERICAN-BALSAM, notwithstanding the great competition, preserve the preference; wherefore, did is your question because every body is content with his expectation and recommend this balsam indeed.

The well-known AMERICAN-BALSAM, despite the intense competition, still remains the top choice; therefore, your question is why this is the case. It's because everyone is satisfied with their expectations and truly recommends this balsam.

The under signed have by experience of himself following the working of this balsam and may be rejoicing to offer an his honorables fellow-citizens and compatriots a very excellent remedy to prevent the sally of hair, to dissiporte the erysipelas; and than the greatest desire of man consist to recover the hair upon their bald-spates, it is reading every day in the newspapers, but none annonce, as the under signed has the right to do it with contract NO HAIR NO MONNEY.

The undersigned has personally experienced the effects of this balm and is excited to offer his honorable fellow citizens a highly effective remedy to prevent hair loss and treat erysipelas. Since many men’s greatest desire is to regain their hair on their bald spots, it’s written about every day in the newspapers, but none advertise it like the undersigned can, with the contract NO HAIR NO MONEY.

The prevent imitation none than THEOPHILE is sole agent for the Netherlands, St. Nicholasstreet at Amsterdam. Ladys! Perriwigs! curls, tress shall be dying very beautiful is every colours, of light haired to black.

The exclusive representative for the Netherlands is THEOPHILE, located on St. Nicholas Street in Amsterdam. Ladies! Wigs! Curls and tresses will be dyed beautifully in every color, from light blonde to black.

Bony inspection of a long wigt tress, with teen differents coleurs.

Bony inspection of a long wig tress, with ten different colors.

On December 23, 1823, the following droll advertisement appeared in the Morning Herald. It was probably a satire on the manners and customs of quasi-fashionables of the day, though why any one should be so anxious to mark his disapprobation of the state of affairs as to pay for the publication of his satires we really are not prepared to say:—

On December 23, 1823, the following humorous advertisement appeared in the Morning Herald. It was likely a satire on the behaviors and customs of the semi-fashionable people of the time, although we really can't say why anyone would be so eager to express their disapproval of the situation that they would pay to publish their satirical comments. Understood. Please provide the text for modernization.

WANTED, for the ensuing London Campaign, a CHAPERON, who will undertake the charge of two young ladies, now making their entrée into fashionable life; she must possess a constitution impervious to fatigue and heat, and be perfectly independent of sleep; au fait at the mysteries of Whist and Cassino, and always ready to undertake a round game, with a supper appetite of the most moderate description: any personal charms, which might interfere by her acting as a foil to her charges, will be deemed inadmissible; and she must be totally divested of matrimonial pretensions on her own account, having sufficient experience in the beau monde to decide with promptitude on the eligibility of invitations with an instinctive discrimination of Almack men, and eldest sons. Address to Louisa, Twopenny Post Office, Great Mary-le-bone-street.

WANTED, for the upcoming London Campaign, a CHAPERONE who will be responsible for two young ladies, now entering fashionable society; she must have a body that can handle fatigue and heat, and be completely fine with little to no sleep; au fait with the rules of Whist and Cassino, and always ready to join in a casual game, with a moderate appetite for supper: any personal attractiveness that might overshadow her charges will not be accepted; and she must have no intentions of getting married herself, possessing enough experience in the beau monde to quickly assess the suitability of invitations with an instinctive judgment regarding Almack men and eldest sons. Contact Louisa at the Twopenny Post Office, Great Mary-le-bone-street.

N.B. No Widow from Bath or Cheltenham will be treated with.

N.B. No widows from Bath or Cheltenham will be considered.

In the Times, at the close of the year 1826, an advertisement appeared, which ran as follows:—

In the Times, at the end of 1826, an advertisement was published that read as follows:—

[271]

[271]

TO SCHOOL ASSISTANTS.—Wanted, a respectable GENTLEMAN of good character, capable of TEACHING the CLASSICS as far as Homer and Virgil. Apply ——

TO SCHOOL ASSISTANTS.—Wanted, a respectable MAN of good character, able to TEACH the CLASSICS up to Homer and Virgil. Apply ——

There is nothing noticeable in this, the reader will think, nor is there; but the sequel, which is told in a number of the now leading journal a few days afterwards, will perhaps repay perusal. A day or two after the advertisement had appeared, the gentleman to whom application was to be made received a letter as follows: “Sir—With reference to an advertisement which were inserted in the Times newspaper a few days since, respecting a school assistant, I beg to state that I should be happy to fill that situation; but as most of my frends reside in London, and not knowing how far Homer and Virgil is from town, I beg to state that I should not like to engage to teach the classics farther than Hammersmith or Turnham Green, or at the very utmost distance farther than Brentford.—Wating your reply, I am, Sir, &c. &c., John Sparks.” The errors in orthography and syntax have been copied as in the letter, but we fancy the matter looks suspiciously like a hoax. The editor, however, thinks otherwise, and after appending a few remarks, says, “This puts us in mind of a person who once advertised for a ‘strong coal heaver,’ and a poor man calling upon him the day after, saying, ‘he had not got such a thing as a strong coal heaver, but he had brought a strong coal scuttle, made of the best iron; and if that would answer the purpose, he should have it a bargain.’” About this time the following request for a minister was published in the Monthly Mirror, and doubtless applications were numerous for the engagement:—

There’s nothing remarkable in this, the reader might think, and they’d be right; but the aftermath, which appeared in several leading journals a few days later, might be worth reading. A day or two after the ad was posted, the gentleman to whom applications were to be sent received a letter that read: “Sir—Regarding an advertisement that was placed in the Times newspaper a few days ago about a school assistant, I would like to say that I would be happy to fill that position; however, since most of my friends live in London, and not knowing how far Homer and Virgil are from the city, I would like to mention that I wouldn’t want to teach the classics any farther than Hammersmith or Turnham Green, or at the very most, no farther than Brentford.—Awaiting your response, I am, Sir, & c. & c., John Sparks.” The spelling and grammar mistakes have been preserved as in the letter, but we suspect the situation seems a bit like a prank. The editor, however, has a different view, and after adding a few comments, states, “This reminds us of a person who once advertised for a ‘strong coal heaver,’ and a poor man came to him the next day, saying, ‘I don’t have anything like a strong coal heaver, but I brought a strong coal scuttle made of the best iron; and if that will work, you can have it at a bargain.’” Around this time, the following request for a minister was published in the Monthly Mirror, and applications were certainly abundant for the position:—

WANTED, for a newly erected Chapel, near Grosvenor Square, a gentleman of elegant manners, and insinuating address, to conduct the theological department to a refined audience. It is not necessary that he believe in the Thirty-nine Articles; but it is expected that he should possess a white hand and a diamond ring; he will be expected to leave out vulgar ideas, and denunciations against polite vices which he may meet with in the Bible; and, upon no account, be[272] guilty of wounding the ears of his auditory with the words h——ll, or d——n. One who lisps, is near-sighted, and who has a due regard for amiable weaknesses, will be preferred.

WANTED, for a newly built chapel near Grosvenor Square, a gentleman with polished manners and a charming demeanor to manage the theological program for a sophisticated audience. It's not necessary for him to believe in the Thirty-nine Articles; however, he should have a well-groomed appearance and wear a diamond ring. He is expected to avoid crude concepts and criticisms of societal vices found in the Bible, and under no circumstances should he offend his audience with terms like hell or darn. Preference will be given to someone who has a lisp, is near-sighted, and appreciates genteel shortcomings.

N.B.—If he is of pleasing and accommodating manners, he will have a chance of being introduced to the first company, and three card parties every Sunday evening. One who knows a few college jokes, or who has been Chaplain to the Whip Club, will be preferred. He will have no occasion to administer Baptism, &c. &c. there being an old gentleman employed, who, on account of extreme distress, has agreed, for ten pounds per annum, to preach in the afternoon, and do all the under work.

N.B.—If he has a pleasant and easy-going personality, he’ll have a shot at getting into the best social circles and attending three card parties every Sunday evening. Someone who knows a few college jokes, or who has served as Chaplain to the Whip Club, will be favored. He won’t need to perform Baptism, etc., as there’s an older gentleman who, due to financial hardship, has agreed to preach in the afternoon and handle all the extra duties for ten pounds a year.

Letters must be addressed to James Speculate, Esq., Surveyor’s Office, New Square, Mary-le-Bone.

Letters must be addressed to James Speculate, Esq., Surveyor’s Office, New Square, Mary-le-Bone.

Apropos of the foregoing, “The Goodfellow’s Calendar,” a handbook of humorous anecdote and criticism for nearly every day in the year—some stray leaves of which have found their way into our possession—gives some account of a parson who, it says, would have been eminently fitted for the situation. “The Rev. R. C. Maturin, Curate of St. Peter’s, Dublin, and author of one of the most immoral and trumpery tragedies, ‘Bertram,’ that ever disgraced the stage, or gratified the low taste of an acting manager, died October 30th 1824. This exemplary pillar of the Established Church was exceedingly vain, both of his person and accomplishments, and as his income would not allow him to attract attention by the splendour of his dress and manners, he seldom failed to do so by their singularity. Mr Maturin was tall, slender, but well proportioned, and on the whole a good figure, which he took care to display in a well-made black coat tightly buttoned, and some odd light-coloured stocking-web pantaloons, surmounted, in winter, by a coat of prodigious dimensions, gracefully thrown on, so as not to obscure the symmetry it affected to protect. The Curate of St. Peters sang and danced, and prided himself on performing the movements and evolutions of the quadrille, certainly equal to any other divine of the Established Church, if not to any private lay gentleman of the three kingdoms. It often happened, too, that Mr.[273] Maturin, either laboured under an attack of gout or met with some accident, which compelled the use of a slipper or bandage on one foot or one leg; and by an unaccountable congruity of mischances he was uniformly compelled on these occasions to appear in the public thoroughfares of Dublin, where the melancholy spectacle of a beautiful limb in pain never failed to excite the sighs and sympathies of all the interesting persons who passed, as well as to prompt their curiosity to make audible remarks or inquiries respecting the possessor.” We are much afraid that the vanity of Mr Maturin was not wonderfully peculiar, and with due allowance for those differences in our styles of dress and living which have been made in fifty years, it would not be difficult to find ministers of the gospel who would prove strong rivals to the curate of St Peter’s.

Apropos of the above, "The Goodfellow’s Calendar," a guide filled with funny stories and critiques for almost every day of the year—some random pages of which we’ve come across—talks about a clergyman who, according to the book, would have been perfect for the role. “The Rev. R. C. Maturin, Curate of St. Peter’s, Dublin, and author of one of the most inappropriate and cheap tragedies, ‘Bertram,’ that ever disgraced the stage or satisfied the low taste of a theater manager, died on October 30th, 1824. This exemplary figure of the Established Church was extremely vain, both about his appearance and his abilities, and since his income didn’t allow him to grab attention with fancy clothes and manners, he often managed to do so through their oddity. Mr. Maturin was tall, slim, well-proportioned, and overall a good-looking guy, which he showed off in a well-fitted black coat buttoned up tightly, along with some quirky light-colored pantaloons, topped in winter by an oversized coat draped elegantly so as not to hide the shape it pretended to protect. The Curate of St. Peters sang and danced, priding himself on his ability to perform the movements of the quadrille, certainly matching any other clergyman of the Established Church, if not any average gentleman from the three kingdoms. It often happened that Mr. Maturin either suffered from gout attacks or had some mishap that required him to wear a slipper or a bandage on one foot or leg; and by an inexplicable series of accidents, he was always forced to appear in the busy streets of Dublin at these times, where the sad sight of a beautiful leg in pain never failed to draw sighs and sympathy from all the interested onlookers, as well as spark their curiosity to make loud comments or inquiries about the owner.” We fear that Mr. Maturin’s vanity wasn’t particularly unique, and with due consideration for the differences in our clothing and lifestyles developed over the past fifty years, it wouldn’t be hard to find ministers of the gospel who would be strong competitors to the curate of St. Peter’s.

In 1825 the New Times presented the public with the original of that singular advertisement which has been so often quoted as an Irish bull, but which would appear to be home-bred: “Wanted by a Surgeon residing at Guildford, two apprentices, who will be treated as one of the family.” The Hibernian companion to this would most fitly be the Dublin editor’s statement, in reference to a newly-invented laundry machine, that by its use every man would probably become his own washerwoman. From washerwomen to general servants is but a step, and so from the Times of five-and-twenty years back we extract a model specimen, supposed to emanate from that rarest of raræ aves, a pattern domestic:—

In 1825, the New Times introduced the public to the original version of that unique advertisement, often referred to as an Irish bull, but which seems to be homegrown: “Wanted by a Surgeon living in Guildford, two apprentices, who will be treated like family.” The perfect counterpart to this would be the Dublin editor’s remark about a newly invented laundry machine, suggesting that with its use, every man would likely become his own washerwoman. Moving from washerwomen to general servants is just a small leap, and so from the Times of twenty-five years ago, we pull a classic example, supposedly coming from that rarest of raræ aves, a model domestic: —

DO YOU WANT A SERVANT? Necessity prompts the question. The advertiser OFFERS his SERVICES to any lady or gentleman, company, or others, in want of a truly faithful, confidential servant in any capacity not menial, where a practical knowledge of human nature in various parts of the world would be available. Could undertake any affair of small or great importance, where talent, inviolable secrecy, or good address would be necessary. Has moved in the best and worst societies without being contaminated by either; has never been a servant, begs to recommend himself as one who knows[274] his place; is moral, temperate, middle-aged; no objection to any part of the world. Could advise any capitalist wishing to increase his income and have the control of his own money. Could act as secretary or valet to any lady or gentleman. Can give advice or hold his tongue, sing, dance, play, fence, box, preach a sermon, tell a story, be grave or gay, ridiculous or sublime, or do anything from the curling of a peruke to the storming of a citadel—but never to excel his master. Address ——.

DO DO YOU NEED A SERVANT? The necessity raises the question. The advertiser OFFERS his SERVICES to any lady or gentleman, company, or anyone else in need of a truly loyal, trustworthy servant in any non-menial role, where a practical understanding of human nature from various parts of the world would be beneficial. Can handle any task, big or small, where skill, strict confidentiality, or good manners are essential. Has navigated both high and low society without being influenced by either; has never been a servant, and would like to recommend himself as someone who understands his position; is moral, moderate, middle-aged; has no objections to any location. Can advise any investor looking to boost their income and retain control over their own finances. Can serve as a secretary or personal assistant to any lady or gentleman. Can offer advice or keep quiet, sing, dance, play, fence, box, preach a sermon, tell a story, be serious or lighthearted, ridiculous or profound, or do anything from styling hair to leading an army—but never to outshine his employer. Address ——.

Differing considerably, and yet much in the same line, is the following, which is amusing from the amount of confidence the writer possesses in his own powers, and the small value he sets upon the attainments of those who possess that most valuable qualification of all—property. The offer never to be better than his patron is a condescension indeed from such a paragon:—

Differing quite a bit, yet still similar, is the following, which is funny because of the writer's confidence in his own abilities and the low regard he has for the accomplishments of those who hold the most valuable asset of all—property. The promise to never be better than his patron is indeed a condescension from such a model:—

TO INDEPENDENT GENTLEMEN.—Wanted by a respectable, modest young man, who can produce a cubic yard of testimonials, a living without a master—that is, he wishes to become a companion to some gentleman, and be his factotum. He can ride, shoot, sing, fish (but never better than his patron without he is wanted), keep accounts, see that servants do their duty, do twenty other things, equally necessary in this life, and make it his whole duty to please and be pleased. Any one seriously wishing such a person, may address, post paid to Z., to be left at ——.

TO INDEPENDENT GENTLEMEN.—A respectable, modest young man seeks a living without a master—he wants to be a companion to a gentleman and serve as his right-hand man. He can ride, shoot, sing, and fish (though only as well as his patron unless needed), keep accounts, ensure that servants do their jobs, handle many other equally important tasks in life, and dedicate himself entirely to pleasing and being pleased. Anyone seriously interested in finding such a person can contact Z., with postage paid, to be left at ——.

Advertisements from the other side—from employers—are also noticeable now and again, as this will show:—

Advertisements from employers on the other side are also noticeable now and then, as this will show:—

BOARD AND RESIDENCE FOR WORK.—An old literary gentleman invites two widow ladies, about forty, to assist him in doing without servants, except a charwoman once a week. One lady must undertake entrées, soups, and jellies. Both must be strong and healthy, so that the work may be rather pleasant than irksome; two-thirds of it being for their own comfort, as no company is ever kept. A private sitting-room. Laundry free. All dining together at seven o’clock. References of mercantile exactness required.—Address A. B., —— stating age and full particulars of antecedent position, &c.

BOARD AND RESIDENCE FOR WORK.—An older literary gentleman invites two widowed ladies, around forty years old, to help him manage without any permanent staff, except for a cleaning lady once a week. One lady will be responsible for making main dishes, soups, and desserts. Both need to be strong and healthy so that the work is more enjoyable than burdensome; two-thirds of the tasks are for their own comfort, as he never entertains guests. There’s a private sitting room. Laundry services are included. Everyone dines together at seven o’clock. References of exacting standards are required.—Address A. B., —— stating your age and full details of your previous positions, etc.

This old literary gentleman was wise in his generation, as his offer, though very plausible, meant nothing less than obtaining two servants without wages, and society as well.[275] Possibly, however, the fact of the ladies being widows was supposed, upon the principle of Tony Weller, to compensate for shortcomings in the way of salary. Other applications for a superior class of servants deserve attention, the following modest offer for a governess being a case in point:—

This old literary guy was smart for his time, as his proposal, while sounding reasonable, actually meant getting two servants without paying them, as well as taking advantage of society.[275] However, the fact that the ladies were widows was probably thought, based on Tony Weller's principle, to make up for the lack of salary. Other requests for higher-quality servants deserve a look, and the following modest offer for a governess is a good example:—

WANTED, in a gentleman’s family, a young lady, as NURSERY GOVERNESS, to instruct two young ladies in French, music, and singing, with the usual branches of education, and to take the entire charge of their wardrobe. She must be of a social disposition and fond of children, and have the manners of a gentlewoman, as she will be treated as one of the family. Salary twelve guineas per annum. Address ——.

WANTED, in a gentleman’s household, a young woman to be a NURSERY GOVERNESS, responsible for teaching two young girls French, music, and singing, along with general education, and managing their wardrobe. She should be sociable, enjoy working with children, and possess the manners of a lady, as she will be treated as a family member. Salary is twelve guineas per year. Address ——.

All for the small price of twelve guineas per annum, about half what a decent housemaid expects, and with less than half the liberty of a scullion. Yet this advertisement appeared in the Times, and is but the representative of others of the same kind, not one of which is supposed to betray meanness or poverty of spirit on the part of its originator. For twelve guineas a year, the poverty-stricken orphan or daughter of some once rich speculator is to teach French, music, singing, writing, arithmetic, geography, history, and other of the “usual branches of education,” to two young ladies, who it is only fair to expect would be much more like the brassfounder’s daughter who objected to Ruth Pinch than similar to the charge of Becky Sharp when she occupied a governess’s position. In addition to the drudgery of teaching, there is the charge of the young ladies’ wardrobe, which means an occupation of itself; and then comes—oh, worst of all!—the social disposition, by which is undoubtedly meant a capacity for doing whatever any other member of the family may object to do—for being the drudge of the drawing-room when the little tyrants of the nursery are abed and asleep. By the manners of a gentlewoman is understood a capacity for receiving studied insult without resentment, and by treatment as one of the family such care and comfort as would cause the cook to[276] take her instant departure. And all this for twelve guineas per annum! This may be called an overdrawn picture, but that is what is said of most self-evident facts. And what father worthy of the name would die easily if he thought that his tenderly-nurtured daughters were likely to be grateful for the protection and the salary offered in the foregoing specimen advertisement? Yet many a young girl has suddenly found herself divested of every luxury, and subject to the tender mercies of those who regard a nursery governess as “one of the family.” There is an old story in reference to the selection of governesses which is worth repeating here. A lady wrote to her son requesting him to find a teacher for his sisters, and enumerating a long list of qualifications, somewhat similar to those generally expected in a pretentious family. The son seems to have been wiser than his mother, for he replied stating that he had studied the requirements, and that when he found a young lady possessed of them all, he should endeavour to engage her, not as a governess for his sisters, but as a wife for himself. Marriage alters women, however, as the subjoined notice from an Irish paper proves to the most sceptical:—

All for the low price of twelve guineas a year, about half of what a decent housemaid earns, and with less than half the freedom of a kitchen helper. Yet this advertisement appeared in the Times, and it reflects many others like it, none of which are expected to reveal any meanness or lack of spirit from their creator. For twelve guineas a year, the struggling orphan or the daughter of a former wealthy speculator is expected to teach French, music, singing, writing, math, geography, history, and other “normal subjects” to two young ladies, who would likely be much more like the brassfounder’s daughter who disapproved of Ruth Pinch than similar to Becky Sharp's charges when she was a governess. In addition to the exhausting work of teaching, there’s the responsibility of looking after the young ladies’ wardrobe, which is a job all on its own; and then comes—oh, worst of all!—the social demands, which undoubtedly means the ability to do whatever any family member may not want to do—essentially being the household servant when the little tyrants of the nursery are tucked in bed. By the manners of a gentlewoman is understood the ability to accept deliberate insults without showing resentment, and by being treated as one of the family it means receiving care and comfort that would make the cook quit on the spot. And all this for twelve guineas a year! This might be called an exaggerated description, but that’s what people often say about obvious truths. And what father would rest easy if he thought that his pampered daughters would truly appreciate the protection and salary offered in the example of the advertisement above? Yet many young girls have suddenly found themselves stripped of every luxury, at the mercy of those who see a nursery governess as “one of the family.” There’s an old story about finding governesses that’s worth telling here. A lady wrote to her son asking him to find a teacher for his sisters, listing a long set of qualifications similar to what’s usually expected in a high-status family. The son appeared to be wiser than his mother, replying that he had reviewed the requirements, and when he found a young woman who met them all, he would try to hire her, not as a governess for his sisters, but as a wife for himself. Marriage changes women, however, as the following notice from an Irish paper demonstrates to even the most suspicious:—

RUN AWAY FROM PATRICK M‘DALLAGH.—Whereas my wife Mrs Bridget M‘Dallagh, is again walked away with herself, and left me with her four small children, and her poor old blind mother, and nobody else to look after house and home, and, I hear, has taken up with Tim Guigan, the lame fiddler—the same that was put in the stocks last Easter for stealing Barday Doody’s gamecock.—This is to give notice, that I will not pay for bite or sup on her or his account to man or mortal, and that she had better never show the mark of her ten toes near my home again.

RUN AWAY FROM PATRICK M‘DALLAGH.—My wife, Mrs. Bridget M‘Dallagh, has once again walked out on me, leaving me to care for our four young children and her poor old blind mother, with no one else to help manage the house. I’ve heard she’s involved with Tim Guigan, the lame fiddler—the same guy who was put in the stocks last Easter for stealing Barday Doody’s gamecock. This is to inform everyone that I won’t be covering any expenses for food or drink related to her or him, and she’d better not show her face near my home again.

Patrick M‘Dallagh.

Patrick M'Dallagh.

N.B. Tim had better keep out of my sight.

N.B. Tim should stay out of my sight.

Mrs Bridget seems to have been in the habit of straying from the path of virtue and her husband’s home, which, if we are to believe Irish poets and orators, must have been very exceptional behaviour in the land of “virtue and Erin.” As if to provide against similar emergency, a[277] Parisian puts forth an advertisement, the translation of which runs thus:—

Mrs. Bridget appears to have regularly wandered off the path of virtue and away from her husband’s home, which, if we’re to trust Irish poets and speakers, must have been quite unusual behavior in the land of “virtue and Erin.” To prepare for similar situations, a [277] Parisian has published an ad, the translation of which goes like this:—

A gentleman in his twenty-sixth year, tired of the dissipation of the great world, is forming a comfortable establishment in one of the least frequented quarters of the city. His domestics are a coachman, cook, three footmen and a chambermaid. He is in search of a young girl of good family to improve this honourable situation: she must be well educated, accomplished, and of an agreeable figure, and will be entertained in the quality of demoiselle de compagnie. She shall receive the utmost attention from the household, and be as well served in every respect as, or even better than, if she were its mistress.

A man in his twenty-sixth year, tired of the excesses of high society, is setting up a comfortable home in one of the quieter parts of the city. His staff includes a driver, a cook, three footmen, and a maid. He is looking for a young woman from a good family to fill this respectable position: she should be well-educated, skilled, and attractive, and will be welcomed as a lady's companion. She will receive the highest level of care from the household and will be served in every way as well as, or even better than, if she were its mistress.

As just now there is constant change of opinion as to what forms the best pavement for the streets with the greatest traffic, as the stones which seemed to be agreed on for ever are every day becoming more and more disliked, and as the main difference now is which is likely to prove the more profitable change, asphalt or wood, the following, from the Times of 1851, may not be uninteresting:—

As of now, opinions keep changing about what type of pavement is best for heavily trafficked streets. The stones that once seemed universally accepted are becoming increasingly unpopular, and the main debate now is over which material will be more cost-effective: asphalt or wood. The following excerpt from the Times of 1851 might be cool

WOOD PAVEMENT.—All poor and distressed cabriolet proprietors and others, wheresoever dispersed, are particularly requested to FORWARD to us immediately PROVED ACCOUNTS in writing of all ACCIDENTS to and DEATHS of HORSES, and Personal and other Casualties, in order that the several parishes may respectfully, in the first place be extra-judicially called on to repay all damages (at our offices), within one calendar month of our respective applications, or otherwise have proceedings taken against them respectively in the County Courts, or under superior jurisdictions, and be so judicially and speedily made to pay on account of entering into ex-parte contracts rendering life and limb and travelling generally unsafe and dangerous in the extreme, and so continuing the bad state of the wood pavement; for no contracts can be lawful and right unless impliedly perused and approved of on behalf of the public generally.

WOOD PAVEMENT.—All struggling cabriolet owners and others, wherever you are, are urgently requested to send us written PROVED ACCOUNTS of any ACCIDENTS and DEATHS of HORSES, as well as any Personal and other Casualties, as soon as possible. This information is needed so that the various parishes can be formally asked to reimburse all damages (at our offices) within one month of our applications. If they fail to do so, we will take legal action against them in the County Courts or other higher jurisdictions, compelling them to pay because they entered into one-sided contracts that make life, safety, and travel extremely dangerous, thereby perpetuating the poor condition of the wood pavement. No contracts can be valid and fair unless they are implicitly reviewed and approved on behalf of the public overall.

Cole and Scott, Solicitors, 12 Furnival’s Inn and Notting Hill.

Cole and Scott, Lawyers, 12 Furnival’s Inn and Notting Hill.

If the “London stones” become things of the past, they and their advocates will be revenged by the undoubted fact that whatever follows them will, after the novelty has worn off, be just as much abused as its predecessor, and most likely changed much more speedily. Deserving of[278] attention, too, though on a totally different matter, is the following. It seems hard to believe that a London tradesman could believe he was likely to get his note back by informing a man what he must have already known; but such is the case. This must be what is known as “throwing good money after bad:”—

If the “London stones” fade into history, they and their supporters will find satisfaction in the fact that whatever replaces them will, once the novelty wears off, be just as misused as the last one, and probably changed even faster. Also deserving of attention, though on a completely different topic, is this: it seems hard to believe that a London tradesman would think he could get his note back by telling someone something they must already know; but that’s exactly what happens. This must be what they call “throwing good money after bad:”

CORAL NECKLACE.—The gentleman who purchased a coral necklace in Bishopsgate-street, on Monday last received in change for a £20 note a FIVE-POUND NOTE too much. He is requested to RETURN it.

CSPEECH NECKLACE.—The man who bought a coral necklace on Bishopsgate Street last Monday received a five-pound note too much in change for a £20 note. He is asked to return it.

Vulgar people would say that the buyer of the coral necklace changed his name to Walker after this. But changes of name are not legal unless duly advertised. Speaking of advertising changes of name, a title by which those lodging-house pests, bugs, are now often known, that of Norfolk Howards, is derived from an advertisement in which one Ephraim Bug avowed his intention of being for the future known as Norfolk Howard. We have never seen this announcement, but have noticed many others, the appended being a specimen, though of a much less sensational kind than that we have just referred to:—

Vulgar people would say that the buyer of the coral necklace changed his name to Walker after this. But name changes aren't legal unless they're properly advertised. Speaking of advertising name changes, a term used for those pesky lodge pests, bugs, is now often referred to as Norfolk Howards. This name comes from an ad in which one Ephraim Bug declared his intention to be known as Norfolk Howard from then on. We’ve never seen this announcement, but we’ve noticed many others, the one below being an example, although it’s of a much less sensational nature than the one we just mentioned:—

NOTICE.—I, the undersigned THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES, of Abercery, in the county of Cardigan, Esq., do hereby Give Notice, that I shall, on and after the 1st day of October, 1873, ASSUME the names THOMAS HUGHES FORDE HUGHES, instead of the names of Thomas Hughes Forde Davies, by which last-mentioned names I have hitherto been known and described. And I do hereby request and direct all persons whomsoever to address and describe me as Thomas Hughes Forde Hughes, and not otherwise. And I further Give Notice, that I have executed the necessary Deed Poll in that behalf, and cause the same to be enrolled in her Majesty’s High Court of Chancery.—Dated this 29th day of September, 1873.

NNotice.—I, the undersigned THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES, of Abercery, in Cardigan County, hereby give notice that starting from October 1, 1873, I will be adopting the name THOMAS HUGHES FORDE HUGHES, instead of the name Thomas Hughes Forde Davies, by which I have previously been known. I request that everyone address and refer to me as Thomas Hughes Forde Hughes, and not in any other way. I also announce that I have completed the necessary Deed Poll for this purpose and will have it enrolled in Her Majesty’s High Court of Chancery.—Dated this 29th day of September, 1873.

THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES.

THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES.

There is a good deal in a name in the present day, and there are some names which for obvious reasons do not smell as sweet as roses, and therefore require changing. This observation does not, of course, refer to the change[279] from Davies to Hughes, of which we know absolutely nothing, except that it appeared in the Standard of October 1873. As there seems little to choose between the two names, it is fair to assume that family reasons or property qualifications led to the alteration. In the interest of those good people who sincerely believe in appearances, we select our next example from the columns of the Times. Those, also, who are in the habit of asking what good there is in a University education will do well to ponder over these lines:—

There's a lot in a name these days, and some names, for obvious reasons, don't carry the same charm as roses, making them necessary to change. This comment doesn’t refer to the switch from Davies to Hughes, about which we know absolutely nothing, except that it was mentioned in the Standard of October 1873. Since there seems to be little difference between the two names, we can assume that family reasons or property issues prompted the change. For the sake of those who truly believe in appearances, we choose our next example from the columns of the Times. Also, those who often question the value of a University education should take a moment to reflect on these lines:—

ARTICLED ASSISTANT.—If the GENTLEMAN who called at Messrs —— and —— 29, Poultry, on Thursday the 20th February in answer to an advertisement in that day’s Times for “An Articled Assistant” will CALL again at the office to which he was referred, and where he stated that he was a Cambridge man &c., no doubt satisfactory arrangements can be made, as appearance is the chief object.

ARTICLED ASSISTANT.—If the gentleman who visited Messrs —— and —— at 29 Poultry on Thursday, February 20th, in response to an ad in that day's Times for “An Articled Assistant” comes back to the office he was directed to, where he mentioned he was from Cambridge, I'm sure we can work out a satisfactory arrangement, since appearance is the main concern.

Appearance is indeed the chief object of attention at the present day, and its influence goes much farther than people imagine, even at the very time they are subscribing to it. Not alone does it affect the positions of the drapers’ young man, the shop-walker, and the modern jeune premier, the latter of whom may be an idiot so long as he is young, tall, slim, and good-looking, but it materially influences a higher class of society. Day after day we see men credited, by means of lying heads and faces, with the qualifications and abilities they do not possess; and, on the other hand, we as frequently find the mildest and most benevolent of gentlemen regarded as desperate characters or hard-fisted old curmudgeons. No one will nowadays believe that a man who does not look very clever or very foolish can do anything in literature or the arts above the common run; and the most frequent exclamation to be heard after a real celebrity has been seen is one of disappointment, so little will he bear comparison with the ideal. Appearances were never more deceptive, and never more believed in, than they are now.

Appearance is definitely the main focus of attention today, and its impact goes far beyond what people realize, even as they embrace it. It doesn’t just affect the roles of the young man at the drapery store, the shop assistant, and the modern leading man, who can be clueless as long as he’s young, tall, slim, and attractive, but it also significantly influences higher social classes. Day after day, we see people given credit for skills and abilities they don't actually have, thanks to misleading appearances; conversely, the kindest and most generous gentlemen are often seen as desperate or stingy old grouches. Nowadays, no one believes that a man who doesn’t seem particularly clever or foolish can achieve anything notable in literature or the arts; and the most common reaction after encountering a real celebrity is one of disappointment, as they often fall short of our ideals. Appearances have never been more misleading, and yet never more believed in, than they are today.

[280]

[280]

Stories of advertising tombstones, some true, some apocryphal, are plentiful, and the best of those in which reliance can be placed is that about the Parisian grocer. It is well known that at the Père la Chaise Cemetery, near Paris, there stands, or stood, in a conspicuous position, a splendid monument to Pierre Cabochard, grocer, with a pathetic inscription, which closes thus:—

Stories about advertising tombstones, some true and some not, are abundant, and the most reliable one involves the Parisian grocer. It's well known that at Père la Chaise Cemetery, near Paris, there is or was a prominent monument to Pierre Cabochard, grocer, with a moving inscription that ends like this:—

His inconsolable widow
dedicates this monument to his memory
and continues the same business at the
old stand, 187, Rue Mouffetard.

His heartbroken widow
dedicates this monument to his memory
and continues the same business at the
old location, 187, Rue Mouffetard.

A gentleman who had noticed the inscription was led by curiosity to call at the address indicated. Having expressed his desire to see the widow Cabochard, he was immediately ushered into the presence of a fashionably-dressed and full-bearded man, who asked him what was the object of his visit. “I come to see the widow Cabochard.” “Well, sir, here she is.” “I beg your pardon, but I wish to see the lady in person.” “Sir, I am the widow Cabochard.” “I don’t exactly understand you. I allude to the relict of the late Pierre Cabochard, whose monument I saw yesterday at the Père la Chaise.” “I see, I see,” was the smiling rejoinder. “Allow me to inform you that Pierre Cabochard is a myth, and therefore never had a wife. The tomb you admired cost me a good deal of money, and, although no one is buried there, it proves a first-rate advertisement, and I have had no cause to regret the expense. Now, sir, what can I sell you in the way of groceries?” The art of mingling mourning and money-making was still better illustrated in the following notice of a death in a Spanish paper:—

A guy who noticed the inscription couldn’t help but check out the address mentioned. After stating he wanted to see the widow Cabochard, he was quickly brought into the presence of a well-dressed man with a full beard, who asked him the purpose of his visit. “I want to see the widow Cabochard.” “Well, sir, here she is.” “Excuse me, but I’d like to meet the lady in person.” “Sir, I am the widow Cabochard.” “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand. I’m referring to the widow of the late Pierre Cabochard, whose monument I saw yesterday at Père la Chaise.” “I understand, I understand,” the man replied with a smile. “Let me tell you that Pierre Cabochard is a myth, so he never had a wife. The tomb you admired cost me a lot of money, and even though no one is buried there, it serves as an excellent advertisement, and I haven't regretted the expense at all. Now, sir, what groceries can I sell you?” The blend of mourning and making money is even better shown in the next death notice in a Spanish paper:—

This morning our Saviour summoned away the jeweller, Siebald Illmaga, from his shop to another and a better world. The undersigned, his widow, will weep upon his tomb, as will also his two daughters, Hilda and Emma; the former of whom is married, and the latter is open to an offer. The funeral will take place to-morrow.—His disconsolate widow, Veronique Illmaga. P. S. This bereavement[281] will not interrupt our employment which will be carried on as usual, only our place of business will be removed from No. 3, Tessi de Teinturiers to No. 4, Rue de Missionaire, as our grasping landlord has raised our rent.

This morning, our Savior called the jeweler, Siebald Illmaga, from his shop to a better place. I, his widow, will mourn at his grave, along with his two daughters, Hilda and Emma; Hilda is married, while Emma is still available. The funeral will be held tomorrow.—His heartbroken widow, Veronique Illmaga. P.S. This loss won't stop our work, which will continue as usual, but we'll be moving our business from No. 3, Tessi de Teinturiers to No. 4, Rue de Missionaire, since our greedy landlord increased our rent.[281]

Advertisements which now and again appear in the Times from people who seek employment or money are both curious and eccentric, and in none of them do the writers suffer at all from bashfulness or modest ideas of their own qualifications. In this, which is an appeal for a situation, the constructor describes himself as

Advertisements that occasionally show up in the Times from people looking for jobs or money are both curious and unconventional, and none of the writers seem to be shy or have modest views about their qualifications. In this one, which is a request for a position, the writer describes himself as

A CHARACTER.—The noblemen and gentlemen of England are respectfully informed that the advertiser is a self-taught man—a “genius.” He has travelled (chiefly on foot) through the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, in Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, France, and Italy. He has conducted a popular periodical, written a work of fiction in three vols., published a system of theology, composed a drama, studied Hamlet, been a political lecturer, a preacher, a village schoolmaster, a pawnbroker, a general shopkeeper; has been acquainted with more than one founder of a sect, and is now (he thanks Providence) in good health, spirits, and character, out of debt, and living in charity with all mankind. During the remainder of his life he thinks he would feel quite at home as secretary, amanuensis, or companion to any nobleman or gentleman who will engage a once erratic but now sedate being, whose chief delight consists in seeing and making those around him cheerful and happy. Address A. Z., at Mr. ——’s, —— Street, Regent’s Park.

A Character.—The noblemen and gentlemen of England are respectfully informed that the advertiser is a self-taught man—a “genius.” He has traveled (mostly on foot) across the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, as well as in Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, France, and Italy. He has run a popular magazine, written a three-volume work of fiction, published a system of theology, composed a play, studied Hamlet, been a political lecturer, a preacher, a village schoolmaster, a pawnbroker, and a general shopkeeper; has been acquainted with more than one founder of a sect, and is now (he thanks Providence) in good health, good spirits, and good character, without debts, and living in harmony with all mankind. For the rest of his life, he believes he would feel completely at home as a secretary, assistant, or companion to any nobleman or gentleman who will engage a once erratic but now settled individual, whose greatest joy comes from seeing and making those around him cheerful and happy. Address A. Z., at Mr. ——’s, —— Street, Regent’s Park.

As a rule, when people break out in this style they are much more in want of the money than the work, although they cloak their actual desires under the guise of applications for situations or employment. There are not a few, however, who come boldly to the point, as the following, also from the Times, shows:—

As a rule, when people approach things this way, they usually need the money more than the job, even though they disguise their true intentions as applications for positions or work. However, there are definitely some who get straight to the point, as the following also from the Times, shows:—

A MAN OF RANK, holding a distinguished public office, moving in the highest society, and with brilliant prospects—has been suddenly called upon to pay some thousands of pounds, owing to the default of a friend for whom he had become guarantee. As his present means are unable to meet this demand, and he can offer no adequate security for a loan, the consequence must be ruin to himself and his[282] family, unless some individual of wealth and munificence will step forward to avert this calamity, by applying £4000 to his rescue. For this he frankly avows that he can, in present circumstances, offer no other return than his gratitude. A personal interview, however painful, will be readily granted, in the confidence that the generosity of his benefactor will be the best guarantee for his delicate observance of secrecy. He hopes his distressing condition will protect him from the prying of heartless curiosity, and to prevent the approaches of money-holders, he begs to repeat that he can give no security. Address to “Anxious,” General Post Office, London.

A MAN OF RANK, holding a respected public position, moving in elite circles, and with bright prospects—has been suddenly faced with a demand for several thousand pounds due to the failure of a friend for whom he acted as guarantor. As his current resources cannot meet this demand, and he cannot provide any adequate collateral for a loan, the result will be disaster for himself and his[282] family, unless someone wealthy and generous steps in to prevent this crisis by contributing £4000 to help him. For this, he honestly admits that he can, given the current situation, offer no other reward than his gratitude. A personal meeting, however uncomfortable, will be readily accepted, trusting that the kindness of his benefactor will be the best assurance of his carefulness in maintaining confidentiality. He hopes his difficult situation will shield him from the prying eyes of heartless curiosity, and to deter the approaches of lenders, he reiterates that he can offer no collateral. Address to “Anxious,” General Post Office, London.

For the benefit of those who are curious about men of rank, and in the interests of those who may like to speculate as to who this holder of a distinguished public office may have been, we will state that the advertisement appeared just thirty years ago. There were then, and have been since, many men in office who wanted four thousand pounds; in fact it would be a hard matter to find a man anywhere to whom that amount—or, for the matter of that, a good bit less—would not be agreeable. That these advertisements were not altogether fruitless, this, from the Times of February 1851, would seem to show:—

For those who are curious about influential men and for anyone who might want to guess who this distinguished public official was, we're stating that the advertisement was published thirty years ago. At that time, and even since, many people in power have wanted four thousand pounds; in fact, it would be tough to find someone anywhere who wouldn't appreciate that amount—or, honestly, even a bit less. To show that these advertisements weren't completely ineffective, this excerpt from the Times in February 1851 seems to show:—

TRURO.—The generous friend who transmitted from this place under cover to the Secretary, G.P.O. an ENVELOPE containing a SUM of MONEY is gratefully informed that the individual for whom it was intended was relieved by it to an extent of which he can form no conception, and is earnestly entreated COMMUNICATE, if not his name, at least an address to which a letter may be sent. W. H.

TRURO.—The generous friend who sent an envelope containing cash to the Secretary at G.P.O. is sincerely thanked. The person this was meant for benefited from it beyond what he can imagine. Please, if you can’t share his name, at least provide an address where a letter can be sent. W.H.

Men reduced in circumstances seem to have less and less chance as the world gets older. There would not be much good got out of an advertisement for money nowadays, whatever the original position of advertiser, unless he could promise something in return. His promise might be quite impossible of performance, but still it would be something; and if we are to judge by most of the swindling advertisements which have succeeded in taking in thousands of people, the more improbable the undertaking the more probable the success. Here is another[283] man of high rank, of later date, who only asks for employment. A good pinch of salt must, we think, be taken with the concluding sentence of the application:—

Men who have fallen on hard times seem to have fewer and fewer opportunities as the world evolves. An advertisement for money wouldn’t be very effective today, regardless of who is advertising, unless the person could offer something in return. The promise might be completely unrealistic, but at least it would be something; and judging by the many deceitful ads that have fooled thousands, the more unlikely the offer, the more likely it is to succeed. Here’s another[283] person of high status, more recently, who is simply seeking a job. We believe a healthy dose of skepticism should be applied to the final statement of the app:—

IT WOULD BE A NOBLE ACT OF HUMANITY if any generous and kind-hearted individual would procure or grant EMPLOYMENT to a suffering individual, in whose behalf this appeal is made. He is of high rank, education, and manners, and in every point of view fit to fill any situation. He is without influential friends, and from complicated frauds and misfortunes, is unable to continue the education of eight lovely children. He seeks nothing for himself, except to be so placed, giving to the hands of his kind benefactor all he receives for his children’s present and future support. This will save him from a broken heart. Any situation that will enable him to effect this object will be received with heartfelt gratitude, and filled with honour, assiduity, and fidelity. Most respectable reference, &c. N.B. No pecuniary assistance can be received. Address ——.

IT WOULD BE A NOBLE ACT OF HUMANITY if any generous and kind-hearted person would provide or offer JOB to a suffering individual, on whose behalf this appeal is made. He comes from a high rank, has a solid education and good manners, and is suitable for any position. He has no influential friends, and due to various frauds and misfortunes, is unable to continue the education of his eight beautiful children. He asks for nothing for himself, except to be placed in a position where he can give his kind benefactor everything he earns for his children’s present and future support. This will spare him from a broken heart. Any opportunity that allows him to achieve this will be met with deep gratitude, and he will approach it with honor, diligence, and loyalty. Most respectable references, etc. N.B. No financial assistance can be accepted. Address ——.

A man of “high rank, education, and manners,” without influential friends, is certainly an anomaly in this country; and the “eight lovely children” forcibly remind us of the large families which begging-letter impostors and cadgers generally have constantly at home, hungering not so much for education as for bread and meat. The mention of high birth reminds us of the many advertisements which have in the course of years appeared from people who, not satisfied with being rich, seek to be fashionable, and who offer free quarters and other advantages to any one possessed of the entrée to Society, and yet not over-gifted with the more solid blessings of this world. Of course these generally appear in the most fashionable papers, and the specimen which follows is taken from the Morning Post of half-a-dozen years ago. With the exception that it mentions foreign towns, it is almost identical with others which have appeared in reference to our own most exclusive circles:—

A man of “high rank, education, and manners,” without influential friends, is definitely a rare find in this country; and the “eight lovely children” strongly remind us of the large families that begging-letter scammers and hustlers usually have at home, craving not just education but also food. The mention of high birth brings to mind the many ads that have appeared over the years from people who, not satisfied with being wealthy, seek to be fashionable, and who offer free lodging and other perks to anyone who has connections to Society, yet isn't particularly blessed with the more substantial comforts of this world. Naturally, these ads typically appear in the most fashionable publications, and the example that follows is taken from the Morning Post from about six years ago. Aside from mentioning foreign cities, it's almost identical to others that have come out regarding our own most exclusive circles:—

SEASONS at SPA and BRUSSELS.—A Lady and Gentleman, well connected, offer to RECEIVE as their GUEST, free of all expense, a lady or a gentleman of family, who, in sole return for the freedom of home, could give the entrée into Belgian society. Spa in the summer, Brussels in the winter. A small establishment. A good[284] cook. The highest references.—Address P. R., Poste Restante, Brussels.

SEASONS at SPA and BRUSSELS.—A well-connected couple is offering to host a lady or gentleman from a respectable background as their guest, completely free of charge, in exchange for access to Belgian society. Spa in the summer, Brussels in the winter. A cozy setup. A great chef. Top references available.—Contact P. R., Poste Restante, Brussels.

Such notices as this go far to prove the truth of the saying that there are blessings beyond price, that is, of course, always supposing the advertisements were unsuccessful. We shall never in future meet any loud vulgar person in Society—provided we are ever admitted within the sacred portal—without suspecting him of having crawled in by means of bribery. Yet our suspicions may alight upon the very leaders of ton; for, so far, the most vulgar men we ever met—among gentlemen—were a horse-racing earl and a coach-driving viscount, and they could have been backed against any four men in that army, the peculiarities of which, while in the Low Countries, will be found recorded in “Tristram Shandy.” Among other advertisements in the columns of the leading journal, worthy of notice in this chapter, are those singular effusions which appear at intervals, especially during any period of political effervescence, and which consist of mad schemes, the offspring of enthusiastic patriots and headlong regenerators of the nation. The following is a fair specimen of these:—

Such notices like this really support the saying that there are priceless blessings, assuming, of course, that the ads didn’t work. In the future, we’ll never see any loud, rude person in Society—if we’re ever let in through the sacred entrance—without suspecting they crawled in through bribery. Yet, our doubts might fall on the very leaders of ton; because, so far, the most vulgar men we've encountered—among gentlemen—were a horse-racing earl and a coach-driving viscount, and they could easily compete against any four men in that group, whose unique traits, while in the Low Countries, are recorded in “Tristram Shandy.” Among other ads in the leading journal’s columns, worth mentioning in this chapter, are those strange pieces that come up at intervals, especially during any political upheaval, which consist of crazy schemes from enthusiastic patriots and reckless nation reformers. Here’s a good example of these:—

TO THE MINISTERS OF STATE, NOBILITY, AND COMMUNITY AT LARGE.—A Remedy for the distresses of England. Every considerate person admits the present condition of society to be perfectly anomalous. A remedy has at length been discovered—a remedy which would effectually arrest the progress of pauperism, confer incalculable benefits upon the industrial community, and diffuse joy and gladness throughout the length and breadth of the land, making England (without exaggeration) the envy of surrounding nations, and the admiration of the world. The plan possesses the peculiar merit of being practicable, and easy of application, without in the slightest degree infringing the rights of property as by law established, or in any way disturbing the present relations of society. The advertiser will communicate his discovery either to the ministers of state, nobility, or those who may take an interest in the wellbeing of society, on condition of his receiving (if his plans are approved, and made available for the purposes contemplated) £100,000. “If the nation be saved, it is not to be saved by the ordinary operations of statesmanship.”—Lord Ashley. Address ——.

TO THE MINISTERS OF STATE, NOBILITY, AND COMMUNITY AT LARGE.—A Solution for the troubles of England. Every thoughtful individual acknowledges that the current state of society is truly unusual. A solution has finally been found—a solution that would effectively stop the spread of poverty, bring immense benefits to the workforce, and spread joy and happiness all across the country, making England (without exaggeration) the envy of neighboring nations and the admiration of the world. This plan has the unique advantage of being practical and easy to implement, without in any way violating property rights as established by law, or disrupting the current social order. The advertiser is willing to share this discovery with the ministers of state, nobility, or anyone interested in the welfare of society, on the condition of receiving £100,000 if his plans are approved and made available for the intended purposes. “If the nation is to be saved, it will not be saved by the usual methods of statesmanship.”—Lord Ashley. Address ——.

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In this chapter, the mysterious “personal” advertisements which years ago were so frequent and so extraordinary—but which now are rarely noticeable except when devoted to the purposes of puffing tradesmen, or when they are more than ordinarily stupid—must naturally receive attention. Now and again a strange announcement attracts a little curiosity in the present day; but for good specimens of the dark and mysterious advertisement we must go back twenty years, and by so doing we shall be enabled at the same time to give a very good reason why people who correspond through the public papers in cipher or otherwise are careful not to attract particular attention. This reason will exhibit itself by means of two cryptographic specimens selected, which appeared in the Times, and were the means of showing that writers of secret signs and passwords must be clever indeed if they would evade the lynx eyes of those who are ever ready for a little mild excitement, and whose hobby it is to solve riddles and discover puzzles. Certainly there must be more pleasure in finding out the meaning of a secret “personal” than in answering the double acrostic charades with which the weekly papers swarm, and which must occupy the attention of thousands, if the quantities of correct and erroneous replies that are received at the various offices may be accepted as evidence. In the early part of 1853 a mad-looking advertisement appeared in the Times, which ran thus:—

In this chapter, the curious "personal" ads that used to be so common and surprising—though now they’re rarely seen unless they’re promoting businesses or particularly ridiculous—deserve some focus. Occasionally, a strange ad piques a bit of interest today, but for truly good examples of the enigmatic advertisement, we need to look back twenty years. Doing so will also explain why people who communicate through public newspapers using codes or other means are careful to stay under the radar. This reason will be illustrated through two cryptographic examples that appeared in the Times, showing that those who write secret codes and passwords must be quite clever to avoid the keen eyes of those always looking for light entertainment, whose hobby it is to solve riddles and puzzles. There’s surely more enjoyment in uncovering the meaning of a secret “personal” ad than in tackling the double acrostic charades that fill weekly papers, which must engage thousands, judging by the number of correct and incorrect replies sent to various offices. In early 1853, a peculiar advertisement was published in the Times, which read so:—

CENERENTOLA.—N bnxm yt ywd nk dtz hfs wjfi ymnx fsi fr rtxy fscntzx yt mjfw ymf esi bmjs dtz wjyzws, f imtb qtsldtz wjrfns, mjwj It bwnyf f kjb qnsjx jfwqnsl uqjfxj: N mfaj gjjs ajwd kfw kwtr mfund xnshy dtz bjsy fbfd.

CCinderella.—N Once upon a time, in a faraway place, there lived a girl who was treated poorly by her stepfamily. She spent her days working and dreaming of a better life, always hopeful that her wishes could come true. Despite the harsh treatment she received, she remained kind and good-hearted, believing that kindness would eventually lead to happiness.

Which being interpreted, reads: “Cenerentola, I wish to try if you can read this, and am most anxious to hear the end, when you return, and how long you remain here. Do write a few lines, darling, please. I have been very far from happy since you went away.” This appeared in February 2, and some difficulty appears to be in the way,[286] for it is not till the 11th that we find another, which is evidently not in reply, and equally evidently not satisfactory. It says:—

Which means: “Cenerentola, I want to see if you can read this, and I'm really eager to know the ending when you come back and how long you'll stay. Please write a few lines, my dear. I've been quite unhappy since you left.” This was posted on February 2, and it seems there’s some issue, because it isn’t until the 11th that we get another message, which is clearly not a response and also not satisfying. It says:—

CENERENTOLA.—Zsynq rd mjfwy nx xnhp mfaj ywnji yt kwfrj fs jcugfifynts kwt dtz gzy hfssty. Xnqjshj nx xfs jxy nk ymf ywzj hfzxj nx sty xzx jhyji; nk ny nx fgg xytwnjx bngg gj xnkyji yt ymj gtyytr. It dtz wjrjrgjw tzw htzxns’x knwxy uwtutxnynts: ymnsp tk ny.

CCinderella.—Zsynq rd mjfwy nx xnhp mfaj ywnji yt kwfrj fs jcugfifynts kwt dtz gzy hfssty. Xnqjshj nx xfs jxy nk ymf ywzj hfzxj nx sty xzx jhyji; nk ny nx fgg xytwnjx bngg gj xnkyji yt ymj gtyytr. It dtz wjrjrgjw tzw htzxns’x knwxy uwtutxnynts: ymnsp tk ny.

As this system simply consisted in commencing the alphabet with the letter f and continuing in regular sequence, the explanation of the last specimen is almost obvious; but so that there should be no difficulty or doubt about it, and so that the intriguers should know they were discovered, some literary lockpicker inserted on the 15th, in the usual personal column of the Times, a full translation, correcting all errors of the printer, and concluding with a notice in the secret language, which must have frightened its originators. The explanatory advertisement runs thus:—

As this system simply involved starting the alphabet with the letter f and continuing in regular order, the explanation of the last example is pretty clear; however, to eliminate any confusion or doubt about it, and to let the schemers know they had been caught, a clever writer posted a complete translation on the 15th in the usual personal column of the Times, correcting all the printer's mistakes and ending with a notice in the secret language, which must have terrified its creators. The explanatory advertisement goes like this:—

CENERENTOLA, until my heart is sick have I tried to frame an explanation for you, but cannot. Silence is safest, if the true cause is not suspected: if it is all stories will be sifted to the bottom. Do you remember our cousin’s first proposition? Think of it.—N pstb Dtz.

CCinderella, until my heart aches, I've tried to explain myself to you but I can't. It's better to stay silent if the real reason isn't suspected; if we talk too much, everything will get mixed up. Do you remember our cousin's first suggestion? Think about it.—N pstb Dtz.

The cryptogram at the end is a warning, for, subjected to the test, we find it is neither more nor less than “I know you.” This seems to have effectually silenced the originals; but the marplots were probably still at work, for on the 19th of February another notification appears, this time in plain English, and running thus:—

The cryptogram at the end is a warning because, when put to the test, we discover it is simply "I know you." This seems to have effectively silenced the originals; however, the troublemakers were likely still active, as on February 19th another notification shows up, this time in plain English, and reads so:—

CENERENTOLA, what nonsense! Your cousin’s proposition is absurd. I have given an explanation—the true one—which has perfectly satisfied both parties—a thing which silence never could have effected. So no more such absurdity.

CCinderella, that’s ridiculous! Your cousin’s suggestion is totally off-base. I've provided an explanation—the real one—which has completely satisfied both sides—a result that silence could never achieve. So let's stop with the nonsense.

How miserably small the inventor of this cipher must have felt, and how ridiculous those most interested must[287] have appeared to each other, we leave to the imaginations of those readers who have suddenly been stopped in any grand flight to find themselves as idiotic as they had before considered themselves ingenious. Doubtless the Cenerentolans will not want for sympathisers even amongst those who affect most to ridicule them. Much about the same time as the instance we have given, and while the rage for secret advertising was in its meridian, one of the most remarkable samples of the kind appeared—remarkable as much for its want of reason as for anything else. On February 20, 1852, we are told by the Quarterly, there appeared in the Times the following mysterious lines:—

How incredibly small the inventor of this cipher must have felt, and how ridiculous those most involved must[287] have looked to each other. We leave it to the imaginations of readers who have suddenly been interrupted in a grand endeavor to realize they are just as foolish as they previously thought themselves clever. Surely, the Cenerentolans will have their fair share of supporters, even among those who pretend to mock them. Around the same time as the example we've mentioned, and while the trend for secret advertising was at its peak, one of the most notable examples of this type emerged—remarkable not just for its lack of logic but for many other reasons. On February 20, 1852, we are informed by the Quarterly that the Times featured the following mysterious lines:—

TIG tjohw it tig jfhiirvola og tig psgvw.

TIG tjohw it tig jfhiirvola og tig psgvw.

F. D. N.

F. D. N.

This was a little above the ordinary hand, and many attempts at deciphering it failed. At last the following explanation was published in the Quarterly. If we take the first word of the sentence, Tig, and place under its second letter, i, the one which alphabetically precedes it, and treat the next letters in a similar manner, we shall have the following combination:—

This was a bit beyond an average hand, and many efforts to decode it were unsuccessful. Finally, the following explanation was published in the Quarterly. If we take the first word of the sentence, Tig, and put the letter that comes before its second letter, i, underneath it, and do the same with the next letters, we will get the following combination:—

T i g
  h f
  e

Reading the first letters obliquely, we have the article “The;” if we treat the second word in the same manner, the following will be the result:—

Reading the first letters sideways, we have the article “The;” and if we look at the second word the same way, the outcome will be the result:—

T j o h w
  i n g v
  m f u
  e t
  s

which read in the same slanting way produces the word Times. So far our authority is correct, and here we leave him. The following participle and article are of[288] course evident, and then comes the principal word of the sentence, which the transcriber makes to be Jefferies, which it is doubtless intended to be; but in his hurry the inventor or solver has made a mistake, as is shown upon an attempt at the same conclusion:—

which reads in the same tilted way forms the word Times. So far, our source is correct, and we'll leave it at that. The next participle and article are of[288] course obvious, and then comes the main word of the sentence, which the transcriber indicates as Jefferies, which it’s clearly meant to be; but in his rush, the creator or solver has made an error, as shown by an attempt at the same conclusion:

J f h i i r v o l a
  e g h h q u n k z
  f g g p t m j y
  f f o s l i x
  e n r k h w
  m q j g v
  p i f u
  h e t
  d s
  r

This gives the word as Jeffemphdr, an expression which, if it can be expressed at all, is very dissimilar from that we expected, after being told that the sentence read—

This gives the word as Jeffemphdr, an expression which, if it can be expressed at all, is very different from what we expected after being told that the sentence read—

The Times is the Jefferies of the press.

The Times is the Jefferies of the media.

We have taken this trouble and used this space in the endeavour to see if the letters would make “Jefferies,” because we have always had a suspicion that the first explainer was also the originator. The advertisement, without being rendered into English, could not have gratified the malice or satisfied the spite of its writer; and as, if any one else had discovered the key and made the attempt, he would have remarked the error, it is but fair to assume that “F. D. N.,” whoever else he may have been, was the individual whom a writer in the Quarterly Review, a couple of years or so afterwards, described as the friend who “was curious and intelligent enough to extract the plain English out of it,” and whose design we commenced with. Was he an author who had been slated in the Times? However, as the advertiser evidently meant Jeffreys, however he may have fancied to spell it, the explanation may[289] be taken as all right.[35] This and the preceding advertisement must have set people thinking that it was hardly safe to trust to secrets in the papers, no matter how carefully disguised; but the crowning blow to cryptographic communication was given by means of the “Flo” intrigue, which created some little sensation, and was the cause of a good deal of amusement at the close of the year 1853 and the beginning of 1854. On November 29 of the first-named year the following was first seen in the Times:—

We’ve taken the time to explore whether the letters would spell “Jefferies,” because we’ve always suspected that the first person to explain it was also the original creator. The advertisement, without being translated into English, wouldn’t have pleased the malice or satisfied the spite of its author; and since anyone else who discovered the key and tried it would have noticed the mistake, it’s fair to assume that “F. D. N.,” whoever he may have been, was the person referred to by a writer in the Quarterly Review a couple of years later, as the friend who “was curious and smart enough to extract the plain English out of it,” and whose idea we started with. Was he an author criticized in the Times? However, since the advertiser clearly meant Jeffreys, no matter how he fancied spelling it, the explanation can[289] be considered all right.[35] This and the previous advertisement must have made people think that it was risky to trust secrets in the papers, no matter how well disguised they were; but the final blow to cryptographic communication came from the “Flo” intrigue, which caused some sensation and a lot of amusement at the end of 1853 and the beginning of 1854. On November 29 of that year, the following appeared for the first time in the Times:—

FLO.—1821 82374 09 30 84541. 844532 18140650. 8 54584 2401 322650 526 08555 94400 021 12 30 84541 22 05114650. 726 85400 021.

FLO.—1821 82374 09 30 84541. 844532 18140650. 8 54584 2401 322650 526 08555 94400 021 12 30 84541 22 05114650. 726 85400 021.

It may be as well to premise that the idea of the “Flo” system was to make an alphabet with the nine numerals and the cipher, and the correspondents evidently prided themselves, poor innocents, on having arranged the letters arbitrarily and not in regular order, and fixed the tell-tale capital I when standing alone at 8:—

It might be good to start by saying that the concept of the "Flo" system was to create an alphabet using the nine digits and the zero. The correspondents clearly took pride, in their naïveté, in having arranged the letters randomly instead of in a logical order, and they established the revealing capital I to stand alone at 8:—

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
y u o i e a d k h f
s t n m r l q g w p
x   c b  
  v  

So the communication read: “Flo, thou voice of my[290] heart! Berlin, Thursday. I leave next Monday, and shall press you to my heart on Saturday. God bless you.” How they communicated for the next month does not appear, but judging by the quotation just given, it is to be supposed personally, and that another separation occurred soon after, for on December 21 there is this:—

So the message said: “Flo, you voice of my[290] heart! Berlin, Thursday. I leave next Monday, and I’ll hold you close on Saturday. God bless you.” How they communicated over the next month isn’t clear, but based on the quote just mentioned, it’s reasonable to assume it was in person, and that another separation happened soon after, because on December 21 there is this:—

FLO.—1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02 522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852 4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48440 23781. 8 0426 021 52 326352 08585 12 8459 42116 021 88354 505449 59144 632244. 31 8355 7449 021 8543 526 021 3101 95270 1851 31 5430 544 42126 021. 726 85400 021.

FLO.—1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02 522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852 4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48440 23781. 8 0426 021 52 326352 08585 12 8459 42116 021 88354 505449 59144 632244. 31 8355 7449 021 8543 526 021 3101 95270 1851 31 5430 544 42126 021. 726 85400 021.

Which, errors included, reads: “Flo, thou voice of my heart, I am so lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture every night. I send you an Indian shawl to wrap routd you while asleep after dinner. It will keep you warm, and you must fancy that mt arms are round you. God bless you.” Two days afterwards the next appears, though the translation hardly gives a substantial reason for the repetition:—

Which, errors included, reads: “Flo, you voice of my heart, I am so lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture every night. I’m sending you an Indian shawl to wrap around you while you sleep after dinner. It will keep you warm, and you have to imagine that my arms are around you. God bless you.” Two days later, the next one appears, although the translation hardly provides a solid reason for the repetition:—

FLO.—184 5501 850 84227 8 449451 31. 1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02 522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852 4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48140 23781. 8 0426 021 52 326352 08585 12 8459 42126 021 88354 505449 59144 63224 31 8355 7449 021 8543 526 021 3101 95270 1851 30 5430 544 42126 021. 726 85400 021. 828 8 62 5284 021.

FLOL.—184 5501 850 84227 8 449451 31. 1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02 522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852 4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48140 23781. 8 0426 021 52 326352 08585 12 8459 42126 021 88354 505449 59144 63224 31 8355 7449 021 8543 526 021 3101 95270 1851 30 5430 544 42126 021. 726 85400 021. 828 8 62 5284 021.

This makes: “Flo, the last was wrong, I repeat it. Thou voice of my heart, I am so lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture evury night. I send you an Indian shawl to wrap round you while asleep after dinnr. It will keep you warm, and you must fancy my arms are round you. God bless you. How I do love you!” It will be hard to discover, if the last was wrong, how this can be right, as for each error he corrects he makes another. Then we go on to the new year, and on January 2 recommence with the following:—

This makes: “Flo, the last one was wrong, I’ll say it again. You’re the voice of my heart, and I feel so lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture every night. I’m sending you an Indian shawl to wrap around you while you sleep after dinner. It will keep you warm, and you have to imagine my arms are around you. God bless you. How I love you!” It will be tough to figure out how this can be right if the last one was wrong, since for every mistake he fixes, he makes another. Then we move on to the new year, and on January 2 we start again with the following:—

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FLO.—30 282 5284 853 85990 57532 31 30 5374 5857327 9423 5 856 64453. 021 544 30 5334 12 7228 1851 18444 305 785274 29 044327 021 12 8454 9423 021 12 62 183270 12 422178. 8 08555 140 526 044 021 0222 84314 12 34 50 29142 50 021 752 726 85400 021 1821 82174 29 30 84541.

FLO.—30 282 5284 853 85990 57532 31 30 5374 5857327 9423 5 856 64453. 021 544 30 5334 12 7228 1851 18444 305 785274 29 044327 021 12 8454 9423 021 12 62 183270 12 422178. 8 08555 140 526 044 021 0222 84314 12 34 50 29142 50 021 752 726 85400 021 1821 82174 29 30 84541.

Difficulties seem to have been removed by this time, for when the magic of the key has been tried upon it the advertisement just quoted says this: “Flo, my own love, I am happy again; it is like awakening from a bad dream. You are, my lime [? life], to know that there is a chance of seeing you, to hear from you, to do things to enough [there is an evident bungle here]. I shall try and see you soon. Write to me as often as you can. God bless you, thou vouce of my heart!” The wise men who had been content to understand this so far, now thought it time that these turtle-doves should know they were not so wise as they supposed, and that their cipher was being read regularly. So on January 6 the Times contained the following:—

Difficulties seem to have been overcome by now, because when the magic of the key was tested on it, the advertisement just mentioned says this: “Flo, my love, I feel happy again; it’s like waking up from a bad dream. You are, my life, so happy to know there’s a chance to see you, to hear from you, to do things together. I’ll try to see you soon. Write to me as often as you can. God bless you, my heart’s voice!” The wise men who had been satisfied to understand this much now decided it was time for these lovebirds to realize they weren’t as clever as they thought, and that their secret messages were being read regularly. So on January 6, the Times published the following:—

FLO.—1821 82374 29 39 84541. 828 8 62 5284 021. 828 544 021 08555 021 84 5536 19 1830 094 327. 8 752 044 021 8557327 8318 0214 6545327 8851 8 82156 7384 12 84 8318 021. 185270 924 0314 5501 541144 8 9454 2218327 811 0495 451322 9423 021 021 544 30 82456 30 5394 30 8294. 1821 3244 1852 5394 95448455 726 85400 021.

FLO.—1821 82374 29 39 84541. 828 8 62 5284 021. 828 544 021 08555 021 84 5536 19 1830 094 327. 8 752 044 021 8557327 8318 0214 6545327 8851 8 82156 7384 12 84 8318 021. 185270 924 0314 5501 541144 8 9454 2218327 811 0495 451322 9423 021 021 544 30 82456 30 5394 30 8294. 1821 3244 1852 5394 95448455 726 85400 021.

And this when read must have caused some feeling of consternation, as it was an evident burlesque of the real correspondent’s style: “Flo, thou voice of my heart! How I do love you! How are you? Shall you be laid up this spring? I can see you walking with your darling. What would I give to be with you! Thanks for your last letter. I fear nothing but separation from you. You are my world, my life, my hope. Thou more than life, farewell! God bless you!” The natural effect of this was to cause an alarm to be given, and so on the following day the following was inserted in the famous private column:—

And when this was read, it must have caused quite a bit of shock, as it clearly parodied the real correspondent’s style: “Flo, you are the voice of my heart! I love you so much! How are you? Will you be resting this spring? I can picture you walking with your sweetheart. What would I give to be with you! Thank you for your last letter. I’m afraid of nothing except being apart from you. You are my world, my life, my hope. You mean more to me than life itself, farewell! God bless you!” The natural result of this was to trigger an alarm, and so the next day the following was published in the well-known private column:—

FLO.—8 9454 6454401 214 739 844 30 6307284446. 84314 51 2274 12 0214 943426 “326352 08585.” 9. 2. 8177327853. 81770.

FLO.—8 9454 6454401 214 739 844 30 6307284446. 84314 51 2274 12 0214 943426 “326352 08585.” 9. 2. 8177327853. 81770.

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Which drops the curtain upon “Flo” and her lover, who is more than likely not to have been her husband—and this without affecting the question as to her being married. It is translated in these words: “Flo.—I fear, dearest, our cipher is discovered. Write at once to your friend, “Indian Shawl,” P. O., Buckingham, Bucks.” So much for secret correspondences, which are not often to be seen nowadays, though when any one is found foolish enough to confide in the press under these circumstances, the comic papers almost invariably make capital out of the communications, and give to their less acute readers full information. Here is one we fell across the other day in the Telegraph. We must admit to a decided ignorance as to what it means, but perhaps the reader, profiting by the foregoing, will be able to decipher it:—

Which brings the story of “Flo” and her lover to a close, who is probably not her husband—and this doesn’t change the question of whether she is married. It reads: “Flo.—I’m afraid, my love, our code has been figured out. Write immediately to your friend, ‘Indian Shawl,’ P. O., Buckingham, Bucks.” So much for secret communications, which aren’t often seen these days. However, when someone is foolish enough to trust the press under these circumstances, comic papers almost always exploit these communications and provide their less savvy readers with all the details. Here’s one we came across the other day in the Telegraph. We must admit we have no idea what it means, but maybe the reader, using the information above, can figure it out: it:—

KANGAROO revived by bones, though nearly choked by a piece of one after swallowing five hard biscuits. Troubled. Four cat two six camel five two one eight pig one boar in every way. Four nine leopard one four elephant three four seven boar. Faithful until death.

KANGAROO brought back to life by bones, even though it almost choked on a piece of one after eating five tough biscuits. Disturbed. Four cats, two camels, five pigs, two one boar in every way. Four nine leopards, one four elephants, three four seven boars. Loyal until death.

This looks like an attempt to set the cryptographists on a wrong scent, and probably means nothing. If it really is a genuine communication, its scope must be extremely limited. Many of the mysterious advertisements which appear in the usual style are very noticeable, though of late the art has fallen a prey to the vendors of quack medicines and cheap books, and the managers of some theatres and music-halls. What has been characterised, and with every probability of truth, as the most ghastly advertisement that ever appeared in a public journal is the following, which is taken from the Times of the year 1845. It certainly is a most frightful paragraph:—

This seems like an attempt to mislead cryptographers, and it probably doesn't mean anything. If it’s actually a real message, its scope must be very limited. Many of the mysterious ads that show up in the usual style are quite noticeable, although recently this method has fallen into the hands of sellers of fake medicines and cheap books, as well as managers of some theaters and music halls. What's often described, and likely true, as the most shocking advertisement to ever appear in a public journal is the following, which is taken from the Times from the year 1845. It’s definitely a very disturbing

TO THE PARTY WHO POSTS HIS LETTERS IN PRINCE’S STREET, LEICESTER SQUARE.—Your family is now in a state of excitement unbearable. Your attention is called to an advertisement in Wednesday’s Morning Advertiser, headed “A body found drowned at Deptford.” After your avowal to your[293] friend as to what you might do, he has been to see the decomposed remains, accompanied by others. The features are gone; but there are marks on the arm; so that unless they hear from you to-day, it will satisfy them that the remains are those of their misguided relative, and steps will be directly taken to place them in the family vault, as they cannot bear the idea of a pauper’s funeral.

TO THE PARTY WHO POSTS HIS LETTERS IN PRINCE’S STREET, LEICSTER SQUARE.—Your family is currently in an unbearable state of panic. You need to pay attention to an ad in Wednesday’s Morning Advertiser titled “A body found drowned at Deptford.” Following your confession to your[293] friend about what you might do, he went to see the decomposed remains with others. The features are unrecognizable, but there are marks on the arm; unless they hear from you today, they will assume that the remains belong to their troubled relative, and they will immediately take steps to put them in the family vault, as they can't stand the thought of a pauper’s funeral.

The most horrible subject has, however, a ludicrous side, and the idea of the decomposed remains objecting to parochial interference is as dreadfully funny as the matter generally is dreadfully shocking. In another notice, five years later, there is, as it were, a plaintive moan, the cry of a weak and distressed woman, who has no “strong mind” to enable her to bear up against infidelity and loss. Listen to it:—

The most horrible topic does have a ridiculous side, and the thought of decomposed remains protesting local meddling is just as horrifyingly funny as the overall situation is horrifyingly shocking. In another note, five years later, there’s a mournful sigh, the cry of a weak and troubled woman, who lacks the “strong mind” to cope with betrayal and loss. Listen to it:—

THE one-winged Dove must die unless the Crane returns to be a shield against her enemies.

THE the one-winged Dove will perish unless the Crane comes back to protect her from her foes.

Far different is the next, which is a couple of years later, and which displays as much strength of purpose and self-dependence as its forerunner betrays weakness:—

Far different is the next, which is a couple of years later, and which shows as much strength of purpose and self-reliance as its forerunner shows weakness:—

IT is enough; one man alone upon earth have I found noble. Away from me for ever! Cold heart and mean spirit, you have lost what millions—empires—could not have bought, but which a single word truthfully and nobly spoken might have made your own to all eternity. Yet are you forgiven: depart in peace: I rest in my Redeemer.

IT is enough; I've found only one noble man on this earth. Stay away from me forever! Cold heart and petty spirit, you've lost what millions—empires—could never buy, but which a single honest and noble word could have secured for you for all time. But you are forgiven: leave in peace: I find my peace in my Redeemer.

The reader can imagine the flashing eyes and indignant face of a proud and wronged woman, as this is read; and it might well be taken as the text for a whole volume of a modern novel. The next which we select is still from the Times, and appeared several days in succession in February 1853. It forms a good companion to that which precedes it:

The reader can picture the flashing eyes and offended expression of a proud and wronged woman as this is read; it could easily serve as the inspiration for an entire modern novel. The next piece we’ve chosen is still from the Times and was published several days in a row in February 1853. It makes a great companion to the one that comes before it:

TO M. L. L.—M. L. L., you have chosen your own lot: may it be a happy one! and if it be so I would not have you think of the desolate heart you leave behind; but oh! my child, if sorrow should ever overtake you, if you should find, when too late, that you have been leaning on a broken reed; then, my Maria, come back to her whose heart has ever cherished you; she will always be ready to receive you.

TO M. L. L.—M. L. L., you’ve made your own choices: I hope they bring you happiness! And if they do, don’t dwell on the lonely heart you’re leaving behind; but oh! my child, if you ever face sadness, if you find out too late that you’ve been relying on something unstable, then, my Maria, come back to the one who has always cared for you; she will always be here to welcome you.

[294]

[294]

Maybe M. L. L. has proved herself devoid of gratitude, and left a kind home to follow the fortunes of some adventurer. But the good heart of the advertiser does not turn sour, nor does she give vent to repining; and so even in advertisements do we see the finest as well as the worst sides of human nature. In the same paper that contained the address just given we stumbled across one of the most laconic notices ever seen. It says—

Maybe M. L. L. has shown she lacks gratitude and left a loving home to chase the luck of some adventurer. But the kind nature of the advertiser doesn’t turn bitter, nor does she complain; and so even in advertisements, we can see the best and the worst of human nature. In the same paper that had the address mentioned, we came across one of the briefest notices ever seen. It says—

IF H. R. will Return, I will forgive him.

IF H. R. comes back, I'll forgive him.

E. R.

Emergency Room

This is evidently from a relenting parent, whose sternness has been subdued by the continued absence of his prodigal. Most likely the latter returned, and went away again as soon as “the guv’nor” showed signs of resuming sway. And so on through one of those wretched dramas with which all people must be acquainted, in which the principal characters are a broken-hearted mother, a worn-out and prematurely old father, and an utterly demoralised, drunken, and perhaps dishonest son, who is most likely a brutal husband as well. Of quite another kind is this, which is also from the Times:—

This is clearly from a softening parent, whose strictness has been eased by the ongoing absence of his wayward child. Most likely, the child came back and then left again as soon as “the boss” showed signs of taking control again. And so it goes in one of those miserable dramas that everyone must know, featuring a heartbroken mother, an exhausted and prematurely aged father, and a completely demoralized, drunk, and possibly dishonest son, who is probably a cruel husband as well. This is quite different from another story, which is also from the Times:—

TO EQUATOR.—Fortuna audaces juvat. Vincit omnia veritas.—E. W.

TO EQUATOR.—Fortune favors the bold. Truth conquers all.—E. W.

As we have before remarked, the newspapers of to-day give us no such specimens of secret and mysterious advertising as those we have unearthed, although the opportunities are far more numerous than—and we presume the occasions quite as frequent as—they were twenty years ago, for every daily paper, and a good many of the weeklies, now keep special columns for the display of private announcements. Quite unique, however, in its way is one which appeared in Lloyd’s half-a-dozen years ago. It says that

As we've mentioned before, today's newspapers don't offer the same examples of hidden and mysterious advertising as the ones we've discovered, even though there are way more opportunities—and we assume just as many occasions—as there were twenty years ago. Every daily paper, and a good number of weeklies, now have special sections for private announcements. However, one that stood out, in its own way, appeared in Lloyd’s about six years ago. It says that

HARRIET AND HARRY COMPTON

Harriet and Harry Compton

ARE well.—124, Stamford-street, Lambeth.

A RE well.—124, Stamford-street, Lambeth.

[295]

[295]

The ignorance may be crass, but we are bound to confess that even now we are not aware of the claims upon publicity of Mr and Mrs Compton. The information is given in style worthy of a royal bulletin, and doubtless it much interested all whom it may have concerned. A very faint attempt at cryptography is made in an advertisement which appeared comparatively recently in one of the penny papers, the writer of which must have had great faith in the dulness of the British public if he thought that backward writing would not be at once detected. This is it:—

The ignorance might be blatant, but we have to admit that even now we still don’t know what Mr. and Mrs. Compton are claiming about themselves. The information is presented like a royal announcement, and it surely caught the attention of anyone who might care. There was a weak attempt at code in an ad that recently showed up in one of the cheap papers, and the writer must have really believed that the British public would be too uninformed to notice the backward writing right away. This is it:—

LUCKY 6d. and 4d.!!—Came back by train a few minutes after meeting you that forenoon, the only real reason for my coming. Always the same feeling for you as expressed. Od etirw ecno ot pihs ot yas uoy evah nees siht. Quite efas Rolias. Will sometimes advertise.

LUCKY 6d. and 4d.!!—I came back by train a few minutes after we met that morning, the only real reason for my visit. I always have the same feelings for you as I’ve expressed. I have seen this. Quite safe, Rolias. I will sometimes advertise.

The next is a specimen of the present day, and is from the Times. Want of logical consequence is its chief characteristic:—

The next is an example from today, and it's from the Times. Its main feature is a lack of logical consistency:—

CANNOT mistake the decision of continued exceeding courtesy. Awaited, but could not identify. Forgive, dear, if I have been too superstitious. ’Tis the first fault, though twice repeated, and you still hold the lash.

CANNOT mistake the decision to keep being polite. I waited, but couldn’t recognize it. Forgive me, dear, if I’ve been too overly cautious. It’s the first mistake, although I’ve repeated it twice, and you still have the power to punish me.

Readers may possibly remember two rather singular advertisements which appeared in the Telegraph quite recently, and were full of gratitude to the firm which had unwittingly led to a pleasant if questionable acquaintance between two persons. After this luncheon-baskets will probably be carried by all gentlemen anxious for adventure—that is, when they travel on lines the authorities of which graciously permit their caterers to supply them. Here is the first:—

Readers might remember two rather unusual ads that recently appeared in the Telegraph, expressing gratitude to the company that unintentionally facilitated a nice, albeit questionable, connection between two people. After this, all men seeking adventure will likely start carrying luncheon baskets—at least when they travel on routes that the authorities kindly allow their caterers to supply. Here is the first:—

THE lady who travelled from Bedford to London by Midland train on the night of the 4th inst., can now MEET the GENTLEMAN who shared with her the contents of his railway luncheon basket. She enjoys the recollection of that pleasant meal, and would like to know if he is going on another journey. Will keep any appointment made at the Criterion in Piccadilly.—Answer to A.

THE woman who traveled from Bedford to London by Midland train on the night of the 4th can now MEET the GENTLEMAN who shared his train lunch with her. She fondly remembers that nice meal and would like to know if he is planning another trip. She's willing to keep any appointment set at the Criterion in Piccadilly.—Reply to A.

The application seems to have had the desired effect, for a day or two afterwards this was published:—

The application seems to have had the desired effect, because a day or two later this was published:—

[296]

[296]

A. will meet you at the Criterion, on Wednesday, at three. Am going on another journey shortly, and will provide luncheon-basket.—F. M.

A. I will meet you at the Criterion on Wednesday at three. I'm going on another trip soon and will bring a lunch basket. —F. M.

Any one who has travelled a distance by Midland or any other of the lines supplied with refreshments by Spiers & Pond, must have noted what a great boon to the traveller is the well-stocked basket, which can be taken in full at one station and delivered out wholly or partially empty, according as appetite serves, at another. Yet the luncheon-basket is a very small item in the revolutionisers’ total. Those who have suffered under the old system of railway refreshments, will admit that Spiers & Pond fully deserve whatever credit has been given them for their efforts in the public interest. Ten years ago no man in his senses would have dreamt of applying for food or drink at a railway buffet while he could go elsewhere; now Spiers & Pond daily serve thousands who desert the old familiar taverns and crowd the bars at the various City stations. Among the many great feats in the way of providing for the hungry and the thirsty performed by this firm is one which has claims for particular notice, as it is told in an official report of a Wimbledon meeting. For the camping-time the following is the record: Of bread there were eaten 25,000 lbs.; of butter 3 tons; of cheese 1 ton; of bacon 11 cwt.; of hams 3 tons; of eggs 23,350; of rolls 52,677; of flour 36 sacks; of tea 1967 lbs.; and of coffee 2240 lbs.; 15 tons weight of meat were eaten, and 1446 fowls, with 626 ducklings, and 304 goslings. In the way of fish, the consumption of salmon reached 6200 lbs., with 1667 soles, 400 turbot, 80 brill, and 2330 lobsters. Vegetables were devoured to the amount of 12 tons, to which must be added 40,000 lettuces and 500 quarts of shelled peas. In fancy pastry 5000 pieces were made, with 1120 lbs. of biscuits, and 2460 quarts of cream and water ice. Add to these 720 baskets of strawberries, 75 lbs. of grapes, 400 pine-apples, 287 tongues, 10,800 bottles of aerated waters,[297] 896 plus 522 gallons of wine, 130 dozen and 312 gallons of spirits, 348 hogsheads of beer, 275 lbs. of tobacco, 300 boxes of cigars, 67 gallons of salad oil, 112 hogshead of vinegar, 150 lbs. of mustard, 6000 gallons of claret cup, 13 cases of lemons, 84 tons of ice brought direct from the ship’s side from Norway, 33 gallons of various sauces, 120 gallons of pickles, 25,000 sandwiches, 24 tons of sugar, 30 cwt. of currants, and 25,000 lbs. of “Volunteer” plumcake. In addition to these, large quantities of wines, spirits, &c., were supplied to sutlers, messmen, and volunteers. On subsequent occasions, when, for reasons best known to themselves, the Rifle Association has provided its own commissariat, it has been discovered that the efforts of Spiers & Pond were by no means overpraised at the time, and that the laudatory notices received by the men who came from Australia to teach the mother country a profitable lesson were well deserved. Spiers & Pond have, it is true, met ample recognition from the press; yet now and again those gentlemen who consider it the whole duty of a journalist to sneer at everybody and everything have had their usual fling, and have written about pretentious eating-house keepers, forgetful of the fact that a dozen years or so ago they were crying their eyes out because the weary traveller in Great Britain could nowhere find the accommodation he was so anxious to pay for. We have been careful not to stray into the opposite extreme, though a long course of railway journeying under the old régime of mouldy pork-pies and stale Banbury cakes has made us feel very well disposed to a firm whose name has already passed into a proverb.

Anyone who has traveled a distance on Midland or any other line that offers refreshments by Spiers & Pond must have noticed how helpful a well-stocked basket is for travelers, allowing them to take it full at one station and return it partially or completely empty at another, depending on their appetite. However, the luncheon basket is just a small part of the total changes brought about by this service. Those who have endured the old system of railway refreshments would agree that Spiers & Pond deserve all the credit they've received for their efforts in serving the public. Ten years ago, no reasonable person would have thought to order food or drink at a railway buffet when they could go elsewhere; now, Spiers & Pond caters daily to thousands who abandon the old, familiar taverns to crowd the bars at various city stations. One notable achievement by this company is highlighted in an official report from a Wimbledon event. For the camping season, here are the statistics: 25,000 lbs. of bread; 3 tons of butter; 1 ton of cheese; 11 cwt. of bacon; 3 tons of hams; 23,350 eggs; 52,677 rolls; 36 sacks of flour; 1967 lbs. of tea; and 2240 lbs. of coffee. In total, 15 tons of meat were consumed, along with 1446 chickens, 626 ducklings, and 304 goslings. The fish consumption included 6200 lbs. of salmon, 1667 soles, 400 turbot, 80 brill, and 2330 lobsters. The total vegetable consumption was 12 tons, including 40,000 lettuces and 500 quarts of shelled peas. In terms of pastries, 5000 pieces were made, along with 1120 lbs. of biscuits and 2460 quarts of cream and water ice. This also included 720 baskets of strawberries, 75 lbs. of grapes, 400 pineapples, 287 tongues, 10,800 bottles of sparkling water, 896 plus 522 gallons of wine, 130 dozen and 312 gallons of spirits, 348 hogsheads of beer, 275 lbs. of tobacco, 300 boxes of cigars, 67 gallons of salad oil, 1½ hogshead of vinegar, 150 lbs. of mustard, 6000 gallons of claret cup, 13 cases of lemons, 84 tons of ice brought directly from Norway, 33 gallons of various sauces, 120 gallons of pickles, 25,000 sandwiches, 24 tons of sugar, 30 cwt. of currants, and 25,000 lbs. of “Volunteer” plum cake. Additionally, large amounts of wine, spirits, etc., were provided to sutlers, messmen, and volunteers. On later occasions, when the Rifle Association decided to handle their own food supply for reasons known only to them, it became clear that the praises of Spiers & Pond were certainly not exaggerated, and that the accolades given to the men who came from Australia to teach the mother country a valuable lesson were well-deserved. Spiers & Pond have indeed received ample recognition from the press; however, now and then, those journalists who see it as their job to criticize everyone and everything have made their usual snide remarks, referring to pretentious eatery owners, forgetting that, just over a decade ago, they were lamenting the lack of accommodations for weary travelers in Great Britain. We have been careful not to swing to the other extreme, although a long history of traveling by train under the old regime of stale pork pies and expired Banbury cakes has made us quite grateful to a company whose name has become a proverb.

Some little interest was exhibited in the annexed, which appeared in the Times a few weeks back, and, according to the side espoused, looks like just indignation or brutal intolerance:—

Some interest was shown in the attached article, which appeared in the Times a few weeks ago, and depending on the perspective taken, it seems like either just anger or harsh intolerance:—

SHOULD this meet the eye of the lady who got into the 12.30 train at New Cross Station on Friday, May 15, with two boys, one of whom was evidently just recovering from an illness, she may be pleased[298] to learn that three of the four young ladies who were in the carriage are very ill with the measles, and the health of the fourth is far from what her relations could desire.

SSHOULD this catch the attention of the lady who boarded the 12:30 train at New Cross Station on Friday, May 15, with two boys, one of whom was clearly just getting better from an illness, she might be interested to know that three of the four young women in the carriage are quite sick with measles, and the health of the fourth is not as good as her family would hope. [298]

It has been quite the fashion to say how wrong it was of the lady with the sick boys to get into a train and spread infection; and nobody seems to have thought that the poor lads wanted change of air—had perhaps been ordered it. As no special provision is made for the travelling sick—or for the matter of that, for the travelling healthy—the fault, if fault there be, lies not with the mother, who was anxious for the recovery of her children, but with the railway authorities. Judging from the tone of the advertisement, we should think that the advertiser would have resented any interference had his or her young ladies been travelling as invalids, instead of being in that state of health which is most subject to the attacks of disease. The case is hard, argued from either side, but it seems very unfair to cast the blame all one way.

It’s become quite common to criticize the woman with the sick boys for getting on a train and spreading infection; however, no one seems to consider that the poor kids might have needed a change of air—perhaps even been advised to do so. Since there’s no special provision for traveling sick people—or, for that matter, for the healthy ones—the blame, if there is any, shouldn’t fall on the mother who was just worried about her children’s recovery, but rather on the railway authorities. Based on the tone of the advertisement, it seems the advertiser would have been unhappy about any interruption if their young ladies had been traveling as patients instead of being in the state of health most vulnerable to illness. The situation is complicated from both sides, but it seems really unfair to place all the blame in one direction.

The last example we shall give of this kind of advertising shows that extended space is used for “personals,” without any extension of interest, the following being but a mild kind of raving on the part of a weak-minded man after an obstinate woman. It appeared early during the present year (1874) in the Telegraph:—

The last example we'll provide of this type of advertising demonstrates that a lot of space is used for “personals,” without any increase in interest. The following is just a mild sort of rant from a weak-minded man about a stubborn woman. It appeared early this year (1874) in the Telegraph:—

MARY ANN C.—Do return home. You labour under an illusion. What you wish to accuse me with does not exist. This I solemnly declare. I have at last a good position, but am so wretched that I cannot attend to my duties properly. Many happier returns of the 1st. God’s blessing be with thee, and that He may tend thy heart to believe me in truth. Put six years of love and happiness against your accusation, and you must feel that you are wrong. Oh, you are very, very wrong. Do write and give me an appointment, so that happiness may be re-established. You must be very unhappy, but for God’s sake do not be so strong-minded. My love and devotion are unaltered. For your own peace, my sweet, pretty, good wife, come back. When death parts it is sad enough, but to part while living, and without true cause, creates and leaves wretchedness to both. Come back to your unhappy but true-loving husband.

MARY ANN C.—Please come home. You're under a misconception. What you want to blame me for isn’t real. I honestly swear this. I finally have a stable job, but I'm so miserable that I can't focus on my responsibilities. Wishing you many more happy returns on the 1st. May God's blessing be with you, and may He guide your heart to believe in me truly. Weigh six years of love and happiness against your accusations, and you have to realize that you're mistaken. Oh, you are very, very mistaken. Please write and set up a meeting so we can find happiness again. You must be feeling very unhappy, but please don’t be so stubborn. My love and devotion haven't changed. For your own peace, my sweet, beautiful, good wife, come back. When death separates us, it's already sad enough, but to part while we’re alive, and without good reason, only brings sorrow to both of us. Come back to your unhappy but truly loving husband.

[299]

[299]

These last extracts are quite sufficient to show the style which now obtains in this class of advertisements, and to prove that what a score of years ago promised to be a never-ending source of amusement has become sadly deficient of its original properties.

These last excerpts are enough to show the style that’s currently popular in this type of advertising and to prove that what was once a never-ending source of entertainment a score of years ago has sadly lost its original charm.

Familiar to many people, among curious announcements, will be the following, which is one of many similar that have from time to time appeared in the leading journal:—

Familiar to many people, among curious announcements, will be the following, which is one of many similar that have from time to time appeared in the leading journal

THE CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER acknowledges the receipt of the first halves of two £10 notes, conscience-money, for unpaid Income-Tax.

THE CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER acknowledges receiving the first halves of two £10 notes as conscience-money for unpaid Income Tax.

The man who sends conscience-money for income-tax must have been virtuous indeed, if the evasion of that impost has been through life his worst sin. There are many otherwise estimable persons whose greatest pride it is that they have never paid income-tax unless compelled. Yet these men have in ordinary matters the greatest abhorrence of anything mean or paltry, and their general conduct might be safely contrasted with that of the bestowers of conscience-money. So, after all, there is something more than a joke in the humourist’s idea of a grand new patriotic song called “Never pay your taxes till you’re summoned, my boys!”

The guy who sends conscience money for income tax must have been pretty virtuous if avoiding that tax has been his biggest wrongdoing throughout life. Many otherwise respectable people take pride in never paying income tax unless they have to. Yet these individuals typically have a strong dislike for anything petty or cheap in everyday matters, and their usual behavior could be clearly compared to those who send in conscience money. So, after all, there’s more than just humor in the jokester’s idea of a grand new patriotic song called “Never pay your taxes till you’re summoned, my boys!”

Those who wear artificial teeth must have been now and again indescribably shocked by advertisements like the following, which, scarce a short time back, are getting more and more frequent, so that what at first appeared a revolting riddle to the many, may have now developed into a lucrative pursuit for the few. Is it right to suppose that new sets of teeth are made up from second-hand materials? If so, how horrible!

Those who wear dentures must have occasionally been incredibly shocked by ads like the following, which, not long ago, are becoming more and more common, so that what initially seemed like a disturbing mystery to many may have now turned into a profitable venture for a few. Is it fair to think that new sets of teeth are made from used materials? If that’s the case, how awful!

WANTED to PURCHASE some OLD ARTIFICIAL TEETH. Persons having the above to sell can apply, with the teeth, or, if forwarded by post their value will be sent per return.—Mr ——.

WWANTED to BUY some OLD ARTIFICIAL TEETH. Anyone who has these for sale can reach out, either with the teeth, or if sending them by mail, their value will be sent back promptly.—Mr ——.

Theatrical advertisements are, as has been remarked, often very funny, and whether from ignorance on the[300] part of the writers, or the prevalence of technology, the columns of the Era absolutely teem with startling notices, which when coupled with the really remarkable as well as “original” correspondence, and the provincial critiques, make the chief theatrical organ one of the most genuine among comic papers, and this is none the less so because the Era’s comicality is unintentional. A fair specimen of the general style is given in an advertisement appearing in March 1874, and if our reproducing it will be of any use to Messrs Gonza & Volta, they are quite welcome. In fact it would be sad to think that such an effort should go unrewarded:—

Theatrical advertisements are often very funny, and whether it's due to the writers' ignorance or the influence of technology, the columns of the Era are filled with surprising notices. When you add in the truly remarkable and “original” correspondence along with the local reviews, it makes the main theatrical publication one of the most genuine among comic papers. This is no less true because the humor of the Era is often unintentional. A good example of the overall style is found in an advertisement from March 1874, and if sharing it can help Messrs Gonza & Volta, they’re more than welcome. It would indeed be unfortunate to think that such an effort should go unrecognized:—

Nil Admirari.

No Worries.

GONZA and VOLTA!!!

GONZA and VOLTA!!!

GONZA and VOLTA!!!
GONZA and VOLTA!!!

GONZA and VOLTA!!!
GONZA and VOLTA!!!

The Modern Hercules and Achilles. The Goliathan Gymnasts. The Champions of Olympia Resuscitated. The greatest Athletes since the Christian Era.

The Modern Hercules and Achilles. The Goliathan Gymnasts. The Champions of Olympia Revived. The greatest Athletes since the Christian Era.

M. DE GONZA, the famous Mexican Athlete of the Golden Wing and Olympic Club; also of Crystal Palace, Cirques Napoleon and de l’Imperatrice celebrity, and late Proprietor of Gonza’s Transatlantic Combination Company, has much pleasure in announcing that the Colossal Sensation he is about submitting to the World’s criticism is in course of progression, and that he has secured the services of EDOUIN VOLTA, the grandest Aerial Bar Performer of the period, who will have the honour of making his First Appearance in England in conjunction with M. DE GONZA’S New Aerial Athletic Performance. M. DE GONZA, without desiring to eulogise, prognosticates that his coming achievement will introduce an astonishing epoch in gymnastics. In ancient days mythological conceptions were framed by senile philosophers for the wonder and delectation of the inhabitants of the world B.C., more particularly during the existence of Rome under the Empire, when the stupendous Colosseum lived in its glory, and where myriads witnessed the famous gladiatorial combats. In those mighty days of heroism, when the great pan-Hellenic festivals were held, every fourth year in Olympia, instituted by Iphitus, King of Elis, the ninth century B.C., when Athletic revels and Icarian games were as prevalent as cigar smoking in this generation, people were more prone to countenance the possible existence and marvellous exploits of the gods and goddesses.[301] Evanescent ages have flown by, and in the sentiments of millions there now subsists a certain amount of familiarity with the intrepid and valiant deeds of those illustrious mythological gods Hercules and Achilles. They have been quoted and spoken of so often that their fictitiousness is forgotten. They have ingratiated their fabulous selves into the good graces of mankind, and become entwined around their minds like the ivy around the gnarled and knotted oak; and, although centuries have passed away, this nurtured concatenation of deep-rooted imaginations have not proven altogether futile, for these legendary and dauntless heroes actually do exist in the persons of

M. DE GONZA, the renowned Mexican athlete from the Golden Wing and Olympic Club, as well as Crystal Palace, Cirques Napoleon, and de l’Imperatrice fame, and former owner of Gonza’s Transatlantic Combination Company, is excited to announce that the Colossal Sensation he’s about to present to the world is in progress. He has secured the talents of EDOUIN VOLTA, the greatest aerial bar performer of our time, who will make his debut in England in collaboration with M. DE GONZA’S new aerial athletic performance. M. DE GONZA, without wanting to overpraise, predicts that his upcoming achievement will mark an incredible new era in gymnastics. In ancient times, mythological ideas were created by older philosophers to captivate and entertain the people of the world B.C., especially during the Roman Empire, when the magnificent Colosseum was at its peak and countless spectators witnessed the famous gladiatorial fights. In those legendary days of heroism, during the grand pan-Hellenic festivals held every four years in Olympia, established by Iphitus, King of Elis, in the ninth century B.C., when athletic competitions and Icarian games were as widespread as cigar smoking is today, people were more open to believing in the potential existence and incredible feats of the gods and goddesses. Eras have come and gone, and in the minds of millions, there now exists a certain familiarity with the brave and heroic deeds of the legendary gods Hercules and Achilles. They’ve been referred to and discussed so often that their fictional nature is nearly forgotten. They have ingratiated themselves into the hearts of humanity and become intertwined with our thoughts, much like ivy wrapping around a gnarled oak tree; and even though centuries have passed, this deep-rooted connection with the imagination has proven far from worthless, for these legendary and fearless heroes indeed live on in the person of

GONZA and VOLTA,
The Cyclopean Athletes of the Age.

GONZA and VOLTA,
The Superhuman Athletes of the Era.

Anchorites, ascetics, persons of secluded and fastidious natures, stoics, and misanthropists, all will be metamorphosed into congenial spirits, and be reconciled to the world and its pleasures after witnessing these gigantillos and wonders of creation in the most surprising and surpassingly elegant gymnastic exhibition hitherto placed before an appreciative nation, the production of which due notice will be given. Meanwhile all communications are to be addressed to M. de Gonza, ——.

Anchorites, ascetics, people with reserved and picky personalities, stoics, and misanthropes will all be transformed into friendly souls and come to terms with the world and its pleasures after seeing these amazing wonders of creation in the most astonishingly elegant gymnastics show ever presented to a grateful nation, which will be announced in due course. In the meantime, all communications should be sent to M. de Gonza, ——.

Turning from such extremely professional exponents of art and literature, we are reminded of one who stands in quite an opposite position to that of the Cyclopean athletes, Dr Vellère, the champion and foremost representative of the “unacted and unread,” of the theorists who would regenerate the drama with their own works, and, if they could only once be performed, would mark an epoch in the history of the stage. Doubtless they would. About five years ago the enthusiastic Doctor—who, being a foreigner, has a perfect right to regenerate the British drama, as well as the British Constitution—burst forth in the Times, and at once placed himself at the head of that glorious minority which, owing to the iniquitous “ring” formed by a clique of authors, managers, and critics, cannot get its plays, marvellously good as they are, produced; and thus not only they, but the great British public are sufferers under a system which Vellère & Co. will yet expose or perish in the attempt. The first advertisement of the regenerator appeared on October 2, 1869. It ran thus:—

Turning away from such highly skilled representatives of art and literature, we think of someone who is in a completely different position from the Cyclopean athletes, Dr. Vellère, the champion and leading advocate of the “unperformed and unread,” of the theorists who want to revitalize drama with their own works, which, if they could ever be performed, would create a landmark in the history of the stage. They surely would. About five years ago, the enthusiastic Doctor—who, as a foreigner, has every right to revitalize British drama as well as the British Constitution—made a bold statement in the Times, immediately positioning himself at the forefront of that brilliant minority which, due to the unjust “ring” formed by a group of authors, managers, and critics, struggles to get their incredibly good plays produced; consequently, both they and the great British public suffer under a system that Vellère & Co. will eventually expose or die trying. The first advertisement from the regenerator appeared on October 2, 1869. It read as follows:—

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[302]

TO the PATRONS of the LEGITIMATE DRAMA and to the
PLAY-GOING PUBLIC in GENERAL.

TO the SUPPORTERS of GENUINE THEATER and to the
AUDIENCE in GENERAL.

Ladies and Gentlemen,—As a general outcry arose some considerable time ago that there was a great dearth of good, original English dramas, and as the recent so-called original productions of English dramatists have failed to stifle it—because they have either traduced English society or have been simply adaptations from the French respecting a state of society which cannot exist here, and in both cases have proved unpalatable to the English, and, therefore, unsuccessful—I, who am a writer in more than one language, resolved to produce a drama on purely English topics, and I was guided by the dictum of your immortal poet, Byron, that “Truth is stranger than fiction,” because all fictitious situations prove less “sensational” (pardon me the vernacular), as produced by those dramatists, with all the powerful accessories and machinery of the stage, than the simplest police report from the daily papers. It took me more than a year of my half-holidays to write the drama “Stern Realities,” and in about five months I wrote the play “Trust.” Now, I have been trying for the last eighteen months to have one of these pieces accepted, but all my endeavours have been in vain. The excuse was, that I am not known (a circumstance which, by-the-by, happened once to Shakespeare also), and that it is far preferable to produce the works of authors already known to the public, even if their more recent efforts have proved a failure in more than one respect. It is now for the public of this great country to decide whether this arrangement between Managers of Theatres and a certain small clique of authors is a monopoly that is to go on for ever; or whether it is only a false and preconceived notion on the part of the former regarding the want of good taste for superior productions on the part of the public. Though I am a foreigner I consider myself as one of the public who has endeavoured to amuse his fellow-citizens, but to whom no opportunity has hitherto been afforded. However, as the author of a collection of songs, of which some are written in English, French, and German, or English and German, or simply in English poetry, and which volume is entitled “Honi soit qui mal y pense,” and was collectively dedicated to the Queen, and accepted by her Majesty, containing dedications also, by special commission, to ladies of the highest titles, and to others equally exalted in attainments, I beg you to believe me, when I assure you, on the word of a gentleman, author, and schoolmaster, that the two pieces I have written will meet with your approbation. I appeal now to you, ladies and gentlemen, to assist me in bringing out one of the two pieces; and, in my humble opinion, the most effectual way, perhaps, in which this could be done, would be in addressing me a note, kindly informing me which[303] of the two pieces, “Stern Realities” or “Trust,” should in your opinion be performed first, and that you promise you will come to see either or both. Receiving thus from you a great quantity of letters, I shall, armed with such a phalanx of patronage, present myself as the bearer of the popular will to the Manager of one of the London Theatres, and—we shall see! A letter simply addressed thus, “Dr. Vellère, Harrow,” will safely reach me. Trusting to hear from you at your earliest convenience, I remain, ladies and gentlemen, very faithfully yours,

Ladies and Gentlemen, — Some time ago, there was a loud demand for more high-quality, original English dramas, and the recent so-called original works by English playwrights have failed to address this need—either because they misrepresent English society or are merely adaptations of French plays depicting a social situation that doesn't exist here. In both cases, these works have not resonated with English audiences, leading to their lack of success. As a writer in multiple languages, I decided to create a drama based on purely English themes, inspired by the famous quote from Byron that “Truth is stranger than fiction.” The situations created by those dramatists, even with all the impressive resources of the stage, are less “sensational” (pardon the casual language) than the simplest police report from the daily news. I spent over a year of my time writing the drama “Stern Realities” and about five months on the play “Trust.” For the past eighteen months, I've been attempting to get one of these works accepted, but all my efforts have been unsuccessful. The excuse given was that I'm not a known name (which, by the way, also happened to Shakespeare once) and that it’s much better to produce works by already established authors, even if their latest attempts have not fared well. Now, it is up to the public of this great country to decide whether this arrangement between Theatre Managers and a certain small group of authors is a monopoly that will continue indefinitely, or if it is just a misguided belief on the part of the former about the public's taste for quality productions. Although I am a foreigner, I see myself as part of the public who has tried to entertain my fellow citizens, but I have yet to be given the chance. However, as the author of a collection of songs, some in English, French, and German, or just in English poetry, which is titled “Honi soit qui mal y pense,” and was collectively dedicated to the Queen, who graciously accepted it, along with dedications, by special commission, to ladies of high titles and others equally distinguished, I ask you to believe me when I assure you, on my word as a gentleman, author, and schoolmaster, that the two pieces I have written will gain your approval. I now appeal to you, ladies and gentlemen, to help me produce one of these two pieces; and in my humble opinion, the most effective way to do this would be for you to send me a note kindly letting me know which of the two, “Stern Realities” or “Trust,” you believe should be performed first, and that you promise to come see either or both. By receiving a considerable number of letters from you, I would be empowered with such support to approach the Manager of one of the London Theatres, and—we shall see! A letter simply addressed like this, “Dr. Vellère, Harrow,” will reach me safely. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. I remain, ladies and gentlemen, very sincerely yours,

E. R. W. VELLERE.

E.R.W. VELLERE.

The English and Continental College,
Harrow, October 1st, 1869.

The English and Continental College,
Harrow, October 1, 1869.

Before the attention directed to this novelty in literature had died away, another similar effusion appeared, and for about a twelvemonth the Times contained every three or four weeks a message of direful import from Dr Vellère on dramatic monopoly and its probable ultimate effect on dramatic literature and the stage generally, varied by requests similar to those given here. Iniquity was still triumphant, however, and the patrons of the legitimate must have been unwilling to interfere, for at the end of the year Dr Vellère was yet unacted. He is still busy writing plays, for he believes that success must come in the end; and if his literary ability be in any way proportioned to his pertinacity, the chief of the Elizabethan roll of dramatists has at last met a worthy rival. Happily there is a way out of the difficulty with which Dr Vellère and his friends are encompassed. Let them take a theatre, engage actors, and play each other’s dramas in turn. If they can only agree as to the order of production, and the relative merits of the pieces, they are sure to succeed; for if our experience goes for anything, the unacted and unread are sufficiently numerous to support any house of moderate pretensions. But they mustn’t all want to be put on the free list. That great distinction must be left for Dr Vellère and a chosen few—composed, say, of friendly critics, and managers distraught with the knowledge that priceless gems have been discarded, and that the new era has at last arrived.

Before the excitement around this new trend in literature faded, another similar piece came out, and for about a year, the Times ran messages from Dr. Vellère every three or four weeks, warning about the dangers of dramatic monopoly and its potential impact on drama and the stage in general, along with requests like the ones mentioned here. However, injustice was still prevailing, and supporters of legitimate theater must have been hesitant to step in, because by the end of the year, Dr. Vellère had not yet seen any of his works performed. He continues to write plays, believing that success will eventually come; if his talent matches his persistence, he might just have found a worthy rival among the great Elizabethan dramatists. Fortunately, there is a way for Dr. Vellère and his supporters to address their challenges. They should rent a theater, hire actors, and take turns performing each other’s plays. If they can agree on the order of performances and the quality of the works, they are bound to succeed. From our experience, there are plenty of unperformed and unread pieces to support any reasonably ambitious theater. But they can’t all expect to be on the complimentary list; that privilege should be reserved for Dr. Vellère and a select few—perhaps a mix of supportive critics and overwhelmed managers aware that valuable works have been overlooked, and that a new era is finally upon us.


[34] The letter written by the sailor with the artificial hands to the printer of the Caledonian Mercury.

[34] The letter from the sailor with the artificial hands to the printer of the Caledonian Mercury.

[35] Our information of this advertisement, and the clue to its explanation, was, as already stated, obtained from an article in the Quarterly Review. On reference to the Times to discover whether the Jefferies portion was right or not, we could not for a long time find the particular notice we were in search of. At last, after the above was written, under date February 10, it was found; and then we saw that the word was “Jfhiiwola,” which subjected to the process as above, will give the required name. We have preferred to explain this in full, as the Quarterly is undoubtedly entitled to the merit of deciphering the puzzle, if not to anything else; and any alteration or correction of ours would have detracted from such merit, which is original, and without which the quaint libel might still have remained in obscurity. Besides, it shows how a small printer’s error may spoil the calculations of a week, in matters like this.

[35] The information about this advertisement, and the clue to its explanation, was, as mentioned earlier, sourced from an article in the Quarterly Review. When we checked the Times to see if the Jefferies part was correct, we couldn’t find the specific notice we were looking for for a long time. Finally, after writing the above, we found it under the date February 10; the word was “Jfhiiwola,” which when processed as mentioned will provide the required name. We chose to explain this fully, as the Quarterly certainly deserves credit for deciphering the puzzle, if for nothing else; any changes or corrections on our part would have taken away from that credit, which is original, and without which the quirky libel might have remained obscure. Moreover, it highlights how a small printing error can disrupt the calculations of a week in situations like this.


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CHAPTER 12.
Scams and Frauds.

It is of course only natural that as soon as advertising became general, that portion of the community which regards the other portion as its oyster, was not slow to discover the advantages which were soon to accrue in the way of increased facilities for publishing new dodges, or of giving extended scope to those which were old, but had so far attained only limited circulation. This has been so conclusively shown by specimens already given, and references made, that there is no necessity to discuss the question anew, and therefore we will at once plunge into the thick of those advertisements which have special qualifications for treatment different from that given to the milder classes of rogues and scoundrels. The first transaction which calls for attention is in connection with Queen Anne’s farthings. No popular delusion has perhaps made more dupes than that relating to these coins. Innumerable people believe that there never were but three farthings of this description, two of which have found their way in due course to the British Museum, the third only being still abroad; and it is also believed that the Museum authorities would give a very large sum for the possession of the missing token. Now there are no less than six distinct varieties of Anne’s farthings known to exist, and specimens of them are not at all rare. Some of them may be procured at the coin-dealers, for ten or twelve shillings; but there is one variety, struck in 1713, which is extremely rare, and would bring from £5 to £10.[305] There is also a small brass medal or counter of Queen Anne, about the size of a farthing, of which there are hundreds. A publican once procured one of these, and placed it in his window, ticketed as “the real farthing of Queen Anne.” Credulous persons came from far and near to view this wonderful curiosity, and the owner turned his deception to good account.

It is only natural that once advertising became widespread, those members of the community who see the others as easy targets quickly recognized the benefits that were about to come from better ways to promote new tricks or expand on old ones that had previously only reached a limited audience. This has already been clearly demonstrated with examples provided and references made, so there's no need to revisit the topic. Instead, we'll dive right into those advertisements that require a different approach than what’s used for the less severe types of con artists and frauds. The first case worth discussing involves Queen Anne’s farthings. No widely held misconception has probably fooled more people than the one surrounding these coins. Countless individuals believe that there were only three farthings of this kind, with two ending up in the British Museum and the third still out there; they also believe the Museum would pay a significant amount for the missing coin. In reality, there are six distinct types of Anne’s farthings that are known to exist, and they're actually not that rare. Some can be found at coin dealers for ten or twelve shillings; however, there's one particular type from 1713 that's extremely rare and can sell for £5 to £10.[305] There's also a small brass medal or counter of Queen Anne, about the size of a farthing, of which there are hundreds. A pub owner once got one of these and displayed it in his window, labeled as “the real farthing of Queen Anne.” Naive people traveled from far and wide to see this amazing oddity, and the owner made good use of his deception.

Sometime about the first quarter of this century, a man in Ireland received twelve months’ imprisonment for secreting a Queen Anne’s farthing. He was shopman to a confectioner in Dublin, and having taken the farthing over the counter, he substituted a common one for it. Unfortunately for him, he told his master how he had obtained it, and offered it to him for sale. The master demanded the treasure as his property, the shopman refused to give it up, was brought into the Recorder’s Court, and there received the above sentence. When rogues fall out, honest men know what they have lost. It is wrong to assume that because thieves quarrel, their natural enemies “get their own.” At all events, experience has never taught us so, and the proverb, as generally read, is wrong.

Sometime in the first quarter of this century, a man in Ireland was sentenced to twelve months in jail for hiding a Queen Anne’s farthing. He was a shop assistant at a candy store in Dublin, and after taking the farthing from the cash register, he replaced it with a regular coin. Unfortunately for him, he told his boss how he got it and tried to sell it to him. The boss claimed the coin as his own, the shop assistant refused to hand it over, and he was taken to the Recorder’s Court, where he received the aforementioned sentence. When thieves argue, honest people can see what they’ve lost. It’s misguided to think that just because thieves fight, their natural adversaries “get what’s coming to them.” In any case, experience hasn’t shown us that, and the saying, as it’s usually interpreted, is incorrect.

Numerous are the instances of people having travelled from distant counties to London, in order to dispose in the best market of the supposed valuable farthing. The custodian of the medals in the British Museum used to be besieged by applicants from all parts of the country, offering Queen Anne’s farthings and imitations of them for sale, and of course the dealers in coin even now receive a liberal share of the same annoyance. Whence the treacherous fable originally sprung has never been satisfactorily explained. It is certain that Anne’s farthings never were very common, though of one variety, coined in 1714, not less than from 300 to 500 must have been put in circulation. But the others were mere patterns, and were never struck for currency: all of them were coins of great beauty, and for this reason, as well as on account of their being the only copper[306] coins struck in the reign of Queen Anne, it is probable that they were soon hoarded and preserved as curiosities, thereby acquiring an imaginary value, which grew rapidly as soon as some sharp fellow saw how useful the figment might be made. But the immediate cause of the popular fallacy concerning the scarcity and great value may be found in the fact, that at the end of the last century a lady of Yorkshire having lost one of these coins, offered a large reward for it. Probably it was valuable to her as a souvenir of some departed friend; but the advertisement, and the comparative scarcity of these farthings, gradually led to the report that there was only one such token in circulation, and that the unique coin was of course of almost priceless value. Long before this, however, advertisements in reference to Anne’s farthings had found their way into the papers. So far as we can discover, the first of these appeared in the General Advertiser of April 19, 1745, and ran as follows:—

Numerous are the instances of people having traveled from distant counties to London, in order to sell in the best market the supposedly valuable farthing. The keeper of the medals at the British Museum used to be overwhelmed by requests from all over the country, with people wanting to sell Queen Anne’s farthings and imitations of them, and of course, coin dealers still receive a generous share of the same hassle. The origin of this deceptive legend has never been clearly explained. It’s certain that Anne’s farthings were never very common, although one type, minted in 1714, must have had around 300 to 500 in circulation. But the others were just patterns and were never minted for currency: all of them were beautifully made coins, and for this reason, along with them being the only copper coins issued during Queen Anne’s reign, it’s likely that they were quickly hoarded and kept as curiosities, thus gaining an imagined value, which increased rapidly once some shrewd individual saw how useful the tale could be. However, the immediate cause of the popular misconception regarding their scarcity and high value can be traced back to a lady in Yorkshire who, at the end of the last century, lost one of these coins and offered a large reward for it. It was probably valuable to her as a memento of a departed friend; but the advertisement, combined with the relative scarcity of these farthings, gradually led to the rumor that there was only one such token in circulation and that this unique coin was worth almost a fortune. Long before this, though, ads regarding Anne’s farthings had started appearing in the papers. As far as we can tell, the first of these was in the General Advertiser on April 19, 1745, and read as follows:

WHEREAS about seven years ago an Advertisement was published in some of the Daily Papers offering a Reward for a Queen Anne’s Farthing struct in the year 1714.

WHEREAS about seven years ago, an ad was published in some of the daily papers offering a reward for a Queen Anne's Farthing minted in 1714.

This is to inform the Curious

This is to inform the Curious

That a Farthing of Queen Anne of that year of a very beautiful dye may be seen at the Bar of the Pensylvania Coffeehouse in Birchin Lane. The impression is no ways defaced but as entire as from the Mint.

That a Farthing of Queen Anne from that year, in a very beautiful color, can be seen at the bar of the Pennsylvania Coffeehouse on Birchin Lane. The impression is not at all damaged and is as whole as it came from the Mint.

This, probably, just at the time when a furor was in existence with regard to the farthings, must have given a fillip to the business at the Pennsylvania Coffee-house; and must have done a great deal to spread the belief that a Queen Anne’s coin was much more desirable than the wonderful lamp of Eastern story, or the more modern but quite as powerful four-leaved shamrock. That in 1802 the fiction was still lively is shown by an advertisement which appeared in the February of that year. This was disguised so as to appear like an ordinary paragraph:—

This, probably right when there was a lot of excitement about the farthings, must have boosted business at the Pennsylvania Coffee-house; and it likely helped spread the idea that a Queen Anne’s coin was much more valuable than the magical lamp from Eastern tales or the more recent but equally powerful four-leaved shamrock. The fact that the story was still popular in 1802 is shown by an advertisement that appeared in February of that year. It was cleverly disguised to look like an ordinary

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[307]

The Queen Anne’s farthing, advertised to be disposed of in Pall Mall, proves to be an original. There were only two coined in that Queen’s reign, and not three as has been erroneously stated. That which was sold by the sergeant from Chatham for £400, was purchased by a noble viscount, curious in his selection of coins, &c. Seven Hundred guineas was the price asked for the one advertised last week. Five hundred was offered for it and refused. The owner lives at Lynn, in Norfolk. The offer was made by the son of a baronet, who wants to complete his collection.

The Queen Anne’s farthing, claimed to be sold in Pall Mall, turns out to be genuine. Only two were minted during that Queen’s reign, not three as has been mistakenly reported. The one sold by the sergeant from Chatham for £400 was bought by a curious noble viscount interested in coin collecting, etc. The price asked for the one advertised last week was seven hundred guineas. An offer of five hundred was made for it but turned down. The owner lives in Lynn, Norfolk. The offer was made by a baronet’s son who wants to complete his collection.

Attention and credulity were so excited by the above paragraph, and many others of the same tendency, that no one thought of doubting that a Queen Anne’s farthing was worth more than a Jew’s eye; nor was it till some time after that the whole was discovered to be a fabrication, intended either to impose upon the credulity of the public, or, what is more likely, to enhance the value of such a coin to the holder, who was quietly waiting to realise. Whether he did so or not does not appear, but it is more than likely that he did not allow his opportunity to slip, but hooked one of those unconsciously greedy people who are always falling victims to their own selfishness as much as to the sharpers, and who, as soon as they are deluded, look for sympathy and redress to those very laws they were prepared to outrage when anything was apparently to be got by so doing. The belief that Queen Anne’s farthings are very valuable still obtains among the vulgar, notwithstanding the many times its absurdity has been exposed; and there is no particular reason for imagining that it will become at all exploded until some fresher but quite as illogical a fiction is ready to supply its place.

Attention and gullibility were so stirred up by the paragraph above, along with many others like it, that no one questioned whether a Queen Anne’s farthing was worth more than a Jew’s eye. It wasn't until some time later that it was revealed to be a hoax, meant either to deceive the public's gullibility or, more likely, to increase the value of such a coin for the holder, who was quietly waiting to cash in. Whether he did or not isn't clear, but it's highly likely he didn't miss his chance, preying on those who are unconsciously greedy and often fall victim to their own selfishness, as much as to the con artists. As soon as they are tricked, they seek sympathy and justice from the same laws they were willing to break when they thought they could gain something. The belief that Queen Anne’s farthings are very valuable still persists among the general public, despite the many times its ridiculousness has been pointed out; and there’s no particular reason to think that it will fade away until another equally illogical myth comes along to take its place.

One of the most notorious swindlers of the early part of the present century was Joseph Ady, who used to profess that he knew “something to your advantage.” As he did not deal in advertisements, perhaps he has no right here; but as about 1830 he was constantly being referred to in newspaper paragraphs, and was a feature of the time among sharpers, he is entitled to passing notice, if only as a newspaper celebrity. At the period we mention, “Ady was a[308] decent-looking elderly man, a Quaker, with the external respectability attached to the condition of a housekeeper, and to all appearance considered himself as pursuing a perfectly legitimate course of life. His métier consisted in this. He was accustomed to examine, so far as the means were afforded him, lists of unclaimed dividends, estates or bequests waiting for the proper owners, and unclaimed property generally. Noting the names, he sent letters to individuals bearing the same appellatives, stating that, on their remitting to him his fee of a guinea, they would be informed of ‘something to their advantage.’ When any one complied, he duly sent a second letter, acquainting him that in such a list was a sum or an estate due to a person of his name, and on which he might have claims worthy of being investigated. It was undeniable that the information might prove to the advantage of Ady’s correspondent. Between this might be and the unconditional promise of something to the advantage of the correspondent, lay the debatable ground on which it might be argued that Ady was practising a dishonest business. It was rather too narrow a margin for legal purposes; and so Joseph went on from year to year reaping the guineas of the unwary—seldom three months out of a police court and its reports—till his name became a byword; and still, out of the multitudes whom he addressed, finding a sufficient number of persons ignorant of his craft, and ready to be imposed upon—and these, still more strange to say, often belonging to the well-educated part of society.”[36] In all the police cases we have come across, in which Ady was concerned, he seems to have considerably “sat upon” the magistrates, the “great unpaid” of the City being quite unable to hold their own with him, notwithstanding the disadvantage at which Joseph was placed.

One of the most infamous con artists of the early 21st century was Joseph Ady, who claimed to know “something to your advantage.” Since he didn’t use advertisements, he might not belong in this discussion; however, around 1830, he was frequently mentioned in newspaper articles and was a well-known figure among scammers, so he deserves a mention, if only as a newspaper celebrity. At that time, Ady was a decent-looking older man, a Quaker, with the outward respectability associated with being a housekeeper, and he appeared to believe he was living a perfectly legitimate life. His job involved examining, as much as possible, lists of unclaimed dividends, estates or bequests awaiting their rightful owners, and unclaimed property in general. He would take note of the names and send letters to people with the same name, stating that if they sent him a fee of a guinea, he would provide them with “something to their advantage.” When someone complied, he would send a second letter informing them that there was a sum or an estate due to someone with their name, which could be worth looking into. It was true that the information could actually benefit Ady’s correspondent. The gap between “it might be” and the unconditional promise of providing something beneficial created room for debate on whether Ady was engaging in dishonest business practices. This distinction was likely too slim for legal action, and so Joseph continued year after year, collecting guineas from the unsuspecting, rarely out of a police court for more than three months—until his name became synonymous with deceit—yet, among the many people he contacted, he still found enough individuals who were unaware of his tricks and willing to fall for them—and surprisingly, many of these people were often from well-educated backgrounds. In all the police cases we have seen involving Ady, he seemed to have significantly “overpowered” the magistrates, with the “great unpaid” of the City completely unable to match him, despite the disadvantages Joseph faced.

The claims for precedence of the two most important[309] advertising swindles of the present day are so equally divided, that it is hard to say which has caused the greater amount of ruin among credulous persons who have invested their last few coins in the hope of the certain success, or which has returned most profit to the exchequers of its wily promoters. The two claimants are the Turf-Circular and the Home-Employment swindles, both of which have been allowed full play. We will give the “home-employment” arrangement preference of treatment, as it appeals to wider sympathies, the victims being mostly credulous only, and not selfishly and idiotically greedy for other folk’s goods; and being, as well, mostly poor hard-working women, and not a few children. One of the most notorious of these advertisers flourished half-a-dozen years ago. He used to insert a small notice in the daily papers, informing those who had leisure that he could find ample remunerative employment for them, and directing applications to be made by letter at a given address, enclosing a stamped addressed envelope. Then the swindle commenced, the reply being as follows:—

The claims for precedence of the two most important[309] advertising scams today are so evenly matched that it’s hard to determine which has caused more damage to gullible people who invested their last few coins in hopes of guaranteed success, or which has brought in more profit for its cunning promoters. The two contenders are the Turf-Circular and the Home-Employment scams, both of which have been allowed to run rampant. We will focus on the “home-employment” scheme, as it appeals to wider sympathies, with the victims mostly being gullible but not selfishly greedy for others’ possessions; primarily, they are poor, hard-working women, and not a few children. One of the most notorious advertisers thrived about six years ago. He would place a small notice in the daily papers, telling those with free time that he could offer them ample, well-paid work, and instructing them to apply by sending a letter to a specific address, including a stamped addressed envelope. Then the scam would begin, with the response being as follows:—

Grove House, Tottenham Road.

Grove House, Tottenham Road.

Islington, London, N.

Islington, London, N.

In reply to your application as per my Notice (Leisure Time, &c., &c.,) I very respectfully inform you that it has now become impossible to describe my Advertisement on employing leisure time fully in the Newspaper in which the little abridged notice appeared, owing to the enormous charge demanded for inserting it, namely £2 16s. for each time it appears. So that in consequence I am compelled, reluctantly, to trouble my correspondents to forward their envelope for the purpose of an extended explanation, which I think cannot be clearer done than my forwarding in print, as under, a copy of the intended announcement, which after reading, and you deciding on sending for the packet, please deduct from the number (eighteen) the three Penny Postage Stamps you will necessarily have used, and only enclose (fifteen) which trifling outlay I think you, like others, will have no cause to regret.

In response to your application regarding my Notice (Leisure Time, &c., &c.,) I respectfully inform you that it has now become impossible to fully describe my Advertisement about using leisure time in the Newspaper where the brief notice appeared, due to the high cost of inserting it, which is £2 16s. for each time it’s published. As a result, I am reluctantly asking my correspondents to send their envelope for a more detailed explanation. I think the clearest way to do this is to forward a printed copy of the intended announcement, which you can read. If you decide to request the packet, please subtract the three Penny Postage Stamps you will inevitably have used from the total (eighteen) and only include (fifteen). I believe this small expense will be worthwhile for you, just like it has been for others.

Yours faithfully,
EVERETT MAY.

Sincerely,
EVERETT MAY.

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THE UNDER WILL BEST EXPLAIN:—

THE UNDER WILL BEST EXPLAIN:—

Leisure Time.—Four Guineas per Week.—How to Realise
this at your own Homes.

Leisure Time.—Four Guineas a Week.—How to Make This Happen in Your Own Home.

MR EVERETT MAY, of Kingsland, begs to apprise the Public that he is sending off as rapidly as possible by every post his far-famed Packet, the contents of which will show the many plans of getting money most honourably by either sex employing leisure hours at their own homes. £2 to £6 weekly may be most certainly realised by all industrious persons, without five shillings outlay or any risk, by following the easy, respectable and clear instructions. Sent by Mr Everett May, of Grove House, Tottenham-grove, Kingsland, London, N. This is no visionary theory. The Present Season highly suitable. Enclose eighteen penny stamps, and you will receive post free punctually per return THIS PROVED BOON TO THE INDUSTRIOUS OF BOTH SEXES.

MR EVERETT MAY, of Kingsland, wants to inform the public that he is quickly sending out his well-known Packet through every post. The Packet will reveal various ways for anyone to earn money honorably by using their free time at home. People can realistically make between £2 and £6 a week without spending five shillings or taking any risks by following the simple, respectable, and straightforward instructions. Sent by Mr. Everett May, of Grove House, Tottenham-grove, Kingsland, London, N. This is not a fanciful idea. The current season is particularly suitable. Just send eighteen penny stamps, and you will receive your requested information by return mail—THIS HAS PROVEN TO BE A BENEFIT TO HARDWORKING PEOPLE OF BOTH SEXES.

But to remove any doubt that sceptical persons may entertain as to the truth of the above, I here insert the under six letters received, with hundreds of others. The parties are very respectable and each well-known in the towns they reside.

But to clear up any doubts that skeptical people might have about the truth of the above, I'm including the six letters I received, along with hundreds of others. The senders are highly respectable and well-known in their respective towns.

Calverton, near Nottingham.

Calverton, by Nottingham.

Dear Sir,—I beg to inform you that your packet came quite safe, and I was surprised and highly pleased with its contents. Like others who doubted the truth, I was ready to conclude it was only to catch those foolish enough to try it. But I have now proved otherwise, and can testify that you are no other than a true and faithful man. The contents of your indeed famed packet are well worth twenty times as much, and whoever the party may be receiving it will have no cause to repent. Yours very truly, Seth Binch.

Dear Sir, — I want to let you know that your package arrived safely, and I was surprised and really pleased with what was inside. Like others who were skeptical, I was ready to think it was just a trick to fool those who were gullible enough to try it. But I’ve now seen otherwise and can confirm that you are truly a sincere and trustworthy person. The contents of your well-known package are definitely worth much more than what you asked for, and whoever receives it will not regret it. Yours sincerely, Seth Binch.

Another—Spettisbury, Blanford, Dorset.

Another—Spettisbury, Blandford, Dorset.

Dear Sir,—I beg to inform you that the Packet ordered arrived safely, and allow me to tender you my sincere thanks for it. Your plans for getting money so honourably are indeed excellent. Anyone having a doubt may most certainly remove such doubt. Hoping you may long continue in your good work is the earnest wish of your obedient servant, W. Oakley.

Dear Sir, — I want to let you know that the packet you ordered arrived safely, and I sincerely thank you for it. Your plans for obtaining money so honorably are truly excellent. Anyone who has doubts can definitely clear them up. I genuinely wish you continue your good work for a long time. Sincerely, W. Oakley.

Then follow the remaining four letters, which have an astonishing family likeness to the two chosen, and as these six were only inserted to show what the careful May would have done had he been able to launch into lavish expenditure in the interests of his clients, he gives a statement after the last epistle:—

Then follow the other four letters, which look surprisingly similar to the two selected, and since these six were only included to demonstrate what the careful May would have done if he could have spent freely for his clients, he provides a statement after the last letter:—

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[311]

Such is the exact copy of the advertisement I intended to have placed before the public by inserting in the Newspapers had the charge not been so high, but as I now do so by this circular I can add a few more of my correspondents’ approval letters, in furtherance of a still more convincing proof of the value of this esteemed Money Making Packet.

This is the exact copy of the advertisement I wanted to put in the newspapers. The cost was just too high, but now that I'm sharing it through this circular, I can include a few more approval letters from my correspondents to provide even more convincing evidence of the value of this highly regarded Money Making Packet.

After this he gives a string of letters, which must have demanded great ingenuity on the part of their writer, if only on account of the number of signatures he must have invented. Occasionally he breaks down, however, and has to fall back on initials. We should like to reproduce a lot of these expressions of gratitude as forms to be used at any time when thanks are required for any great benefit, but space will not allow of it, and we must be content with two, which are redolent of truly Christian thankfulness:—

After this, he provides a series of letters, which must have required a lot of creativity from their author, especially considering the number of signatures he must have come up with. Sometimes he falters, though, and has to use initials instead. We would like to share many of these expressions of gratitude as templates to be used whenever thanks are needed for any significant favor, but space won’t permit that, so we’ll settle for two, which are filled with genuine Christian gratitude:—

Short Heath Road, Erdington, near Birmingham, December 13th, 1867.

Short Heath Road, Erdington, near Birmingham, December 13, 1867.

Mr. May, Dear Sir,—I have received your Packet, and am at a loss how, adequately, to express to you what I think about it—suffice it to say that I consider your Packet to be an inestimable boon to the unemployed of every class. Thousands will, doubtless, make money by it. It professes only to be a guide to the employment of leisure hours, but in reality it is a guide to the employment of a whole life, and an easy path to opulence. “Whoever receives it will have no cause to regret.” “It is worth twenty times as much.” “Anyone having a doubt may most certainly remove such doubt.” I heartily re-echo these testimonials, and recommend your Packet to every unemployed person, this is no more than I am in equity bound to do. I am, Dear Sir, faithfully yours, Thomas Jonson, Jun.

Mr. May, Dear Sir, — I’ve received your Packet, and I’m not sure how to fully express my thoughts on it—let me just say that I believe your Packet is an invaluable resource for the unemployed across all classes. Thousands will, without a doubt, benefit from it. It claims to be just a guide for how to use free time, but in reality, it's a guide for a whole life and an easy route to wealth. “Anyone who gets it will not have any regrets.” “It’s worth twenty times as much.” “Anyone with doubts can definitely clear them up.” I wholeheartedly echo these praises and recommend your Packet to every unemployed individual; it’s the least I can do. I am, Dear Sir, faithfully yours, Thomas Jonson Jr.

1, Vincent Terrace, Frome, October 5th, 1867.

1, Vincent Terrace, Frome, October 5th, 1867.

Dear Sir,—I have carefully examined the contents of your excellent Packet, and am astonished and delighted with them. He or she would indeed be difficult to please who could not select from so extensive a stock some profitable employment congenial to their taste. The instructions are explicit, and the minute details in each case fully and clearly explained. A person of moderate industry and perseverance, furnished with your Packet may attain, if not a fortune, at least a very comfortable living. It ought to be widely known, and I for my part shall not fail to recommend it. I admit I answered your advertisement merely from a curious desire to know what was the latest dodge (pardon the word) for hoaxing the public, and I am now heartily glad I did answer it, though ashamed of the motive that induced me to do so. I am, Dear Sir, faithfully yours, Joseph Johnson, Schoolmaster.

Dear Sir,—I have thoroughly reviewed the contents of your excellent Packet and am both amazed and delighted by them. It would indeed be hard to find someone who couldn’t choose from such a wide selection something enjoyable and worthwhile. The instructions are clear, and the detailed specifics in each case are explained thoroughly. A person with moderate effort and determination, equipped with your Packet, can achieve, if not a fortune, at least a very comfortable living. It should be well-known, and I will definitely recommend it. I admit I responded to your ad out of curiosity to see what the latest trick (forgive the term) was for deceiving the public, and I’m now really glad I did, although I’m a bit embarrassed about my initial motive. I am, Dear Sir, faithfully yours, Joseph Johnson, School Principal.

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The poor gulls, after reading these effusions, which all play on the same strings of wonder, satisfaction, and gratitude, are of course anxious to participate in the benefits of lucrative employment, and off go the stamps. If the mischief ended there, the matter would not be so bad; but these advertising scoundrels have various courses open to them. If they judge that nothing more is to be obtained from the sender, they calmly pocket the stamps and take no further notice. In the event of continued “annoyance,” or threats of exposure, they will send forth a circular which states that a packet was posted, and must have been lost or stolen in transit. This circular speaks of the post-office, and other institutions, in the most disparaging manner, and of the transactions of its writers as not only just, but infallible. One of them winds up thus:—

The poor gulls, after reading these heartfelt messages that all hit the same notes of wonder, satisfaction, and gratitude, are eager to get in on the perks of making money, and off go the stamps. If the trouble ended there, it wouldn't be so bad; but these advertising crooks have a few tricks up their sleeves. If they think they've squeezed all they can from the sender, they simply pocket the stamps and ignore them from then on. If they face ongoing “annoyance,” or threats of being exposed, they’ll send out a circular claiming that a package was mailed and must have been lost or stolen in transit. This circular talks about the post office and other institutions in the most negative light, insisting that the dealings of its authors are not only fair but foolproof. One of them concludes so:—

Another matter I wish to inform you upon, namely, an error prevails regarding the punctual and prompt conveyance of Packets by the Post Office. This is at times impossible. If the letter mails are heavy, Packets are sometimes left until the following day. So that I cannot guarantee it will be delivered at your residence by return, but you may fully expect it by the second if not by the first mail, postage free, well packed, and secure from observation. These remarks may appear trifling, but they are really necessary, and while on the subject I will name another, also of importance, it is this—several of my correspondents when applying for these particulars send only their name and address on a stamped envelope, and when ordering the Packet enclose their name and omit the address, and this not being retained by me renders it impossible to forward it. So that a distinct name and address is, in the second instance, absolutely necessary. It is required for no other object than to enable me to promptly forward the order, which I can do to any address in the United Kingdom.

There's something else I want to let you know about: there’s a common misconception regarding the timely delivery of packets by the Post Office. Sometimes, it's just not possible. If the letter mail volume is high, packets can get delayed until the next day. So, I can’t guarantee that it will reach you right away, but you can expect it by the second mail, if not by the first, with the postage covered, well packaged, and private. These points might seem minor, but they are actually important. While I’m on the topic, I’d like to mention something else that’s significant: several of my contacts who request these details only include their name and address on a stamped envelope, and when they order the packet, they include their name but leave out the address. Since I don’t keep that information, it makes it impossible for me to send it. Therefore, a clear name and address in that second case is absolutely necessary. It’s needed solely to allow me to quickly process the order, which I can send to any address in the United Kingdom.

The correspondent who dates from a good address, or whose letter looks promising, is likely to be despoiled still more. The stamps are acknowledged, and at the same time information is tendered that a special order for the peculiar fancy goods upon which the income is to be made has just come in; and that if the intending employée will send a fee, say five shillings, for registration, and a deposit, say five pounds, for security, she will receive a packet[313] containing the work—which is very easy—and ample instructions. A little delay enables these wandering tribes to change both names and addresses, and to appear in greater force than ever in the advertisement columns. No wonder the writers we have quoted show such gratitude for the receipt of promised parcels! But we did know two real people who got what they bargained for. One, who only paid the eighteenpence, obtained, after a good long time, and the expenditure of many threats, some scraps of brown paper, which were said to be patterns for pen-wipers, “the manufacture of which would be found to yield a lucrative profit, if a market could be found for them.” There is much virtue in an if in this case. The paper went on to say that there were many shopkeepers who would be glad to sell them on commission, “the article being extremely rare.” It is noticeable that the circular received on this occasion was printed, with blanks left for description of the patterns and the name of the work for which they were to be used. A man of imaginative mind might in the course of the day have run through a considerable list of trades; and as the reference to the demand for the article and the sales by commission would be the same in all the notices, the demand upon truth was evidently not particularly excessive. The other successful applicant was a lady who began by writing out of mere curiosity, and who gradually got on until she had parted with not much less than ten pounds. A sharp letter from a solicitor brought no answer to him, but succeeded in sending the long-expected parcel to his client. It was heavy, and accompanied by a short letter, which said:—

The person who has a good address or whose letter looks promising is likely to get taken advantage of even more. The stamps are acknowledged, and at the same time, there's information that a special order for the unique fancy goods that will bring in income has just arrived; and that if the prospective employee sends a fee, say five shillings, for registration, and a deposit, say five pounds, for security, she will receive a package[313] containing the work—which is very easy—and plenty of instructions. A little delay allows these wandering groups to change both names and addresses, enabling them to show up in greater numbers than ever in the ads. It's no surprise that the writers we've mentioned are so grateful for receiving promised parcels! But we did know two real people who got what they were promised. One person, who only paid eighteen pence, eventually received, after a long wait and a lot of threats, some scraps of brown paper that were said to be patterns for pen-wipers, “the production of which would be found to yield a lucrative profit if a market could be established for them.” There's a lot of weight to an if in this scenario. The paper went on to say that many shopkeepers would be eager to sell them on commission, “the item being extremely rare.” It’s worth noting that the circular received in this case was printed, with blanks left for describing the patterns and the name of the work for which they were intended. A person with an imaginative mind might have considered a considerable range of trades throughout the day; and since the reference to the demand for the item and the sales by commission would be the same in all notices, the expectation of truth was clearly not too demanding. The other successful applicant was a woman who initially wrote out of mere curiosity and gradually ended up parting with nearly ten pounds. A stern letter from a solicitor didn’t get a response from him but did manage to send the long-awaited parcel to his client. It was heavy and came with a short letter that said:—

Birmingham, October 7, 1869.

Birmingham, October 7, 1869.

Madam,

Ma'am,

We beg to inform you that some little delay has been caused by the failure of a company to whom we entrusted the manufacture of a large quantity of articles. We have now however great pleasure in forwarding you a sample of an enamelled leather child’s button boot, with lasts and leather for you to follow model. As soon[314] as we receive from you specimen equal to pattern we shall be glad to afford you constant employment.

We would like to inform you that there has been a slight delay due to a company we hired to produce a large quantity of items not delivering on time. However, we are pleased to send you a sample of an enamelled leather child’s button boot, along with lasts and leather for you to use as a model. As soon as we receive a sample from you that matches our pattern, we would be happy to offer you regular work.

Yours obediently,
VENTNOR AND MORRIS.

Yours faithfully, VENTNOR AND MORRIS.

The parcel contained some old odd lasts, a really well-made little boot, and some queer bits of leather, which the cleverest man in the world could have done nothing with; a shoemaker’s knife, an awl, and a lump of cobbler’s wax! This expedient enabled the swindlers to tide over the time till a new name and a fresh address were decided on. It is worthy of note—and we shall refer to it a little further on—that the statement of one of these scoundrels would lead to the impression that extra prices are charged for these swindling advertisements. If larger prices are charged to men because their advertisements are fraudulent, no amount of false logic or forensic oratory can dispose of the fact that the proprietors of the papers are accessories in any robbery or swindle that is committed; and the insertion of such advertisements, knowing them to be traps for the unwary, at a price which denotes the guilty knowledge of the proprietors, is as gross a breach of the trust reposed in them by the public as was ever committed by smug, well-fed, Sabbath-observing sinners. There is, unfortunately, but too much reason to believe that extra prices are charged for these fool-traps, and that in the most pious and pretentious papers. At the time of the baby-farming disclosures which led to the execution of Margaret Waters, one paper openly accused another—a daily of large circulation—with charging three or four hundred per cent. over the ordinary tariff price for the short applications for nurse children which were then usual. Perhaps the accusation was not worth disproval—at all events it remains uncontradicted till this day. These murderous advertisements presented no particularly destructive features, they simply said in each case that a nurse child was wanted at a certain address; and sometimes an offer would be made to[315] take a baby altogether for a lump sum. This is one of a lot taken from a leading daily paper:—

The package had some old, mismatched shoe molds, a really well-made little boot, and some strange pieces of leather that even the smartest person in the world wouldn’t know what to do with; a shoemaker's knife, an awl, and a chunk of cobbler's wax! This clever move allowed the con artists to get by until they figured out a new name and address. It's important to note—and we’ll touch on this later—that a statement from one of these crooks could make it seem like they charge extra for these deceptive ads. If advertisers are charged more because their ads are misleading, no amount of faulty reasoning or legal speeches can change the fact that the owners of the newspapers are complicit in any theft or scam that happens; running such ads, knowing they are traps for the unsuspecting, at a price that reflects the owners' guilty knowledge, is a serious betrayal of the trust the public places in them, just as grave as anything done by self-satisfied, well-fed, churchgoing sinners. Unfortunately, there's a lot of evidence to suggest that higher prices are charged for these misleading ads, even in the most pious and pretentious publications. During the baby-farming revelations that led to Margaret Waters' execution, one newspaper directly accused another—a daily with a large circulation—of charging three or four hundred percent more than the usual rate for the short ads seeking nurse children that were common at the time. Maybe the accusation wasn’t worth denying—regardless, it remains unchallenged to this day. These deadly ads didn't have any especially harmful features; they simply stated that a nurse child was wanted at a specific address. Sometimes they would even offer to take a baby outright for a lump sum. This is one of many taken from a leading daily paper:—

ADOPTION.—Child Wanted to NURSE, or can be LEFT ALTOGETHER. Terms moderate. Can be taken from birth. Address ——.

AADOPTION.—Child Wanted to NURSE, or can be LEFT ALTOGETHER. Terms are reasonable. Can be taken from birth. Address ——.

Sometimes the terms were mentioned, and, as a rule, the sum named showed that even the tender mercies experienced by Oliver Twist and his friend Dick at the farming establishment inhabited by them could hardly have been expected by the most confiding of parents. Thus:—

Sometimes the terms were mentioned, and, as a rule, the sum named showed that even the kindness experienced by Oliver Twist and his friend Dick at the farm where they lived could hardly have been expected by the most trusting of parents. Thus:—

A RESPECTABLE Woman wishes to adopt a CHILD. Premium £6. Will be taken altogether and no further trouble necessary. Apply ——.

A RESPECTABLE Woman wants to adopt a CHILD. Cost is £6. Payment will be made in full, and no additional issues will arise. Apply ——.

As some of these establishments may be still in existence, we refrain from republishing the addresses. These specimens, as advertisements, simply call for no comment at our hands, and so we will get on with the more pronounced, though less guilty, swindlers. Here is a specimen which doubtless gave the postman some extra work:—

As some of these places might still be around, we won't republish the addresses. These samples, as ads, don’t really require our commentary, so we’ll move on to the more obvious, though less culpable, con artists. Here’s a sample that probably gave the mailman a bit of extra work:—

GENTLEMEN having a respectable circle of acquaintance may hear of means of INCREASING their INCOME without the slightest pecuniary risk, or of having (by any chance) their feelings wounded. Apply for particulars by letter, stating their position &c. to W. R. 37, W—— Street C—— Square.

GGENTLEMEN If you have a respectable circle of acquaintances, you might hear about ways to INCREASE your INCOME without any financial risk or the chance of hurting your feelings. Request more details by letter, stating your position, etc., to W. R. 37, W—— Street C—— Square.

To such an advertisement as this—one of exactly the same kidney—which appeared in Lloyd’s, under the head of “How to make Two pounds per Week by the outlay of Ten Shillings,” and asking for thirty stamps in return for the information, the following belongs. It is sent in reply to the letter enclosing the fee, and is too good a specimen of the humour possessed by these rogues to be passed over:—

To an advertisement like this—one exactly the same type—which appeared in Lloyd’s, titled “How to make Two pounds per Week by spending Ten Shillings,” and asking for thirty stamps in exchange for the information, the following belongs. It’s a response to the letter that included the fee, and it’s too good an example of the humor these scammers have to be overlooked:Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

“First purchase 1 cwt. of large-sized potatoes which may be obtained for the sum of 4s., then purchase a large basket,[316] which will cost say another 4s., then buy 2s. worth of flannel blanketting and this will comprise your stock in trade, of which the total cost is 10s. A large-sized potato weighs about half-a-pound, consequently there are 224 potatoes in a cwt. Take half the above quantity of potatoes each evening to a baker’s and have them baked; when properly cooked put them in your basket, well wrapped up in the flannel to keep them hot, and sally forth and offer them for sale at one penny each. Numbers will be glad to purchase them at that price, and you will for certain be able to sell half a cwt. every evening. From the calculation made below you will see by that means you will be able to earn £2 per week. The best plan is to frequent the most crowded thoroughfares, and make good use of your lungs, thus letting people know what you have for sale. You could also call in at each public-house on your way and solicit the patronage of the customers, many of whom would be certain to buy of you. Should you have too much pride to transact the business yourself (though no one need be ashamed of pursuing an honest calling), you could hire a boy for a few shillings a week who could do the work for you, and you could still make a handsome profit weekly. The following calculation proves that £2 per week can be made by selling baked potatoes:—

“First, buy 1 cwt. of large-sized potatoes for about 4s. Next, purchase a large basket for another 4s., and then get 2s. worth of flannel blanket, which will make up your inventory, totaling 10s. A large potato weighs about half a pound, so there are 224 potatoes in a cwt. Take half of the potatoes each evening to a bakery and have them baked; once cooked, put them in your basket, wrapped in the flannel to keep them warm, and go out to sell them for one penny each. Many will happily buy them at that price, and you should be able to sell half a cwt. every evening. From the calculation below, you’ll see this way you can earn £2 per week. The best strategy is to go to the busiest streets and use your voice to let people know what you’re selling. You could also stop by each pub on your route and ask the patrons to buy from you, as many will likely be interested. If you feel too proud to do this yourself (though there’s no shame in making an honest living), you could hire a boy for a few shillings a week to do the selling for you, and you’d still make a nice profit each week. The following calculation shows that you can make £2 per week selling baked potatoes:—

“1 cwt. containing 224 potatoes sold in two evenings at 1d. each, £0 18 8  
  Deduct cost, 0 4 0
  £0 14 8
    3
  Six evenings’ sale, 2 4 0
Pay baker at the rate of 8d. per evening for baking potatoes, 0 4 0
  Nett profit per week, £2 0 0 .”

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Many and most curious are the answers received from time to time by persons with sufficient faith to make application to these advertisers, the foregoing being by no means unique. One reply received in return for half-a-crown’s worth of stamps, which were to have purchased much wisdom in the way of money-saving, was this: “Never pay a boy to look after your shadow while you climb a tree to see into the middle of next week.” A man who would send his money to such evident scamps, could hardly see into the middle of anything, no matter where he chose his vantage-ground. Fortunately for the interests of the community at large, these tricksters now and again are made to feel that there is justice in the land. Twenty years ago, a City magistrate did good service by exposing a man who lived abroad in splendour at the expense of the poor governesses he managed to victimise through the advertising columns of the Times. This rascal used, by means of the most specious promises, to drag young girls to a foreign land, and there leave them to become a prey to other villains, or to make their way back accordingly as circumstances permitted. But as at the present time there are streams of foreign girls decoyed to London under all sorts of pretexts for the vilest purposes, the least said as to the criminality of one single individual among the shoals of scoundrels who live by means of advertisements the better. Since Mr Fynn was unmasked many other hawks have been captured, and only recently two have found their way into the obscurity of penal servitude under circumstances worthy of mention. Place aux dames: we will give precedence to Mistress Margaret Annie Dellair, though her retirement was subsequent to that of the other claimant on our attention. The difference of date is, however, extremely small. Mrs Dellair lived at Croydon, and for a long time lived in peace and plenty on the post-office orders, or rather the cash received in exchange for them, obtained by means of the following advertisement:—

Many curious responses come in periodically from people who have enough faith to reach out to these advertisers, and the above example is by no means unique. One reply to a request that cost half a crown in stamps, which were meant to buy wisdom on saving money, was this: “Never pay a kid to watch your shadow while you climb a tree to see into the middle of next week.” A person who would send money to such obvious con artists could hardly grasp anything clearly, no matter where they stood to look. Thankfully, for the good of the community, these scammers occasionally feel that there is justice in the world. Twenty years ago, a City magistrate did a great service by exposing a man who lived lavishly abroad off the backs of the poor governesses he conned through the advertisements in the Times. This crook would use the most deceptive promises to lure young girls to a foreign country and leave them to be preyed upon by other criminals or to find their way back based on their circumstances. However, since there are currently streams of foreign girls lured to London under various pretenses for the worst purposes, it's better not to dwell on the criminality of a single individual among the many scoundrels who profit from advertisements. Since Mr. Fynn was unmasked, many other predators have been caught, and recently, two more have ended up in the obscurity of prison under noteworthy circumstances. Place aux dames: we will prioritize Mistress Margaret Annie Dellair, although her downfall happened after that of the other notable individual. The difference in timing is extremely small, though. Mrs. Dellair lived in Croydon and for a long time thrived comfortably on post-office orders, or rather the cash obtained in exchange for them, through the following ad:—

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HOME EMPLOYMENT.—Ladies in town or country wishing for Remunerative EMPLOYMENT in Laces, Church Needlework, &c., should apply at once to M. D., Fern House, West Croydon, enclosing a directed envelope. Reference to ladies employed by permission.

HOMW EMPLOYMENT.—Women in the city or countryside looking for paid work in Lace, Church Needlework, &c., should apply immediately to M. D., Fern House, West Croydon, including a self-addressed envelope. References available from women employed by permission.

This must have been a fruitful source of income to M. D., who seems to have considered that people were calmly content to part with their money, as she made no attempt to put off the day of reckoning which was bound to arrive. So in due course Mrs Dellair found herself charged with fraud before the Croydon bench, and ultimately she appeared at the bar of the Central Criminal Court in April of the present year. Her mode of procedure, described during the trial, was this. Applicants in due time, after sending in their stamped and addressed envelopes, received circulars, stating that the work which the sender was able to furnish comprised braiding, point lace, tatting, church needlework, and Berlin wool. The needlework was to be done at the ladies’ homes, and they were never to earn less than eightpence or a shilling per hour. To secure employment the applicants were informed that the payment of one guinea “for registration fee, materials, and instruction,” was required, half of which sum was to be returned when the employment was resigned. Post-office orders were to be made payable at the office, Windmill Street, Croydon, to Margaret Dellair. “There is,” says a writer at the time commenting on this case, “something quite admirable in this calm repudiation of the anonymous, in this wearing of the heart upon the sleeve, on the part of Mistress Dellair. The bait she threw out was swallowed with avidity by many young ladies—some with more money than wit, others painfully anxious to secure bread-winning employment; others less solicitous about procuring work for themselves than inquisitive to discover, for the benefit of society in general and their friends in particular, whether the transaction was bonâ fide. Then the curtain rose on the second[319] act of the drama. Some ladies sent post-office orders to Windmill Road; others took the train to Croydon, and had personal interviews with the benevolent recluse of Fern House—a little cottage near a wood—who did not fail to represent that she was extensively employed by some eminent firms of church furnishers in the metropolis.” One young lady having sent her guinea, received, after a lapse of some weeks, and after repeated communications on her part, ten toilet-mats, with the materials for braiding them. There was not enough braiding, and so she wrote for more, but received no reply. Then she finished the mats with materials purchased by herself, and despatched the articles to Croydon; but neither reply nor payment was forthcoming. After many more weeks Mrs Dellair wrote to say that she was in ill-health. Seeing, however, that the advertisement was continued in the papers, the defrauded young lady wrote to Fern Cottage, demanding the return of ten shillings, being one-half of the sum she had disbursed for “registration fee, materials, and instruction.” No answer was returned, of course; and the victim not only lost her money, but her time and her labour, to say nothing of postage, worry of mind, and other incidental expenses. One of the principal witnesses against Dellair was the Croydon postmaster, who stated that he had known her a year and a half. She had been in the habit of bringing post-office orders to his office to cash. She had brought between three and four hundred orders since July 1872, principally for guineas, but there were some for half-crowns and some for half-guineas. They were brought principally by her daughter, but sometimes by a servant. On the 30th of October 1873 a post-office order (produced) was brought to him, and the payee’s signature was that of the prisoner. He paid the money to the person who brought it. The house at which the prisoner lived was a small private house, called Fern Cottage, and there was no show of business kept up there. On cross-examination by prisoner’s counsel, the[320] postmaster stated that the fact of so many orders being cashed by Mrs Dellair excited his suspicion. He, however, knew that she was getting her living by sending parcels of needlework by post, and since he had ascertained that fact, he did not think it so extraordinary. Mrs Dellair was in the habit of purchasing postage stamps in large quantities of him. She sometimes purchased ten shillings’ worth, and once or twice had bought them to a larger extent. At the trial the entire seat in front of the jury-box was filled by young women who attended to prosecute, some of whom had been prudent enough to ask for references, but imprudent enough to part with their guineas, although the testimonials received were not quite satisfactory. Some applicants had interviews with Dellair at Croydon, and then she gave the names of one or two eminent firms as her employers, but at the trial representatives of these firms swore that she was totally unknown to them. One of the most peculiar points in this trial was the line taken by the counsel for the defence, who argued that although the victims of his client might be deserving of sympathy, they had parted with their guineas in a foolish and careless manner, and the real question was whether the accused was guilty of a fraudulent pretence or not. The advocate raised the curious point in favour of his client, that although she had avowedly four hundred transactions with different persons, it was extraordinary that she had not been discovered and prosecuted before; but he forgot how much more extraordinary it was that for her defence the prisoner was unable to bring forward out of her four hundred clients a single witness who could swear to receiving remunerative employment from her. The defence was original, and originality in defence has a good deal to do with success when a case is being tried by a common jury; but it did not succeed, and Mrs Margaret Annie Dellair was found guilty. The woman was an impudent and abandoned swindler, who had been systematically preying for years upon a class that[321] can, of all classes, the least afford to be cheated—decently-educated young women of small means, who fill respectable positions, and whose consequent need of employment which will enable them to earn a little something above their ordinary salaries is always pressing and frequently imperative. Before sentence was passed an inspector from Scotland Yard stated that the prisoner and her husband had formerly lived at Finchley under another name; that they had afterwards kept a shop in Bloomsbury under the title of “Fuller & Co.,” where they advertised to give “remunerative employment” both to young ladies and young gentlemen; that in May 1872 the husband was sentenced at the Middlesex Sessions to five years’ imprisonment for fraud; that on his conviction the woman removed to Fern Cottage; and that after her arrest, and its consequent publication in the papers, upwards of eighty letters had been received by the police complaining of her dealings. All that Margaret Annie Dellair could do when she was called up for sentence was to plead that she had been left in an all but penniless condition with seven young children; that she had tried in vain to obtain an honest livelihood by keeping a stall in a bazaar; and that her crime was caused by a desire to avert starvation from her innocent offspring. A good deal of sympathy was of course expressed by the public—especially by those who have nothing to lose—not for the victims, but for the victimiser. The interest taken in criminals nowadays, when they have the slightest claims to be out of the common order, would be regarded as quite overdrawn if described in a novel.

This must have been a profitable income source for M. D., who seemed to think people were happily willing to part with their money, as she made no effort to delay the inevitable reckoning. Eventually, Mrs. Dellair found herself accused of fraud before the Croydon bench and later appeared at the Central Criminal Court in April of this year. Her approach, described during the trial, was as follows. Applicants, after sending in their stamped and addressed envelopes, received circulars stating that the work available included braiding, point lace, tatting, church needlework, and Berlin wool. The needlework was to be done at the ladies' homes, and they were promised they would never earn less than eightpence or a shilling per hour. To secure employment, applicants were told they needed to pay a guinea “for registration fee, materials, and instruction,” half of which would be refunded when they resigned. Post-office orders were to be made payable to Margaret Dellair at Windmill Street, Croydon. “There is,” said a writer at the time commenting on this case, “something quite admirable in this calm rejection of the anonymous, in this vulnerability shown by Mistress Dellair. The lure she cast was eagerly taken by many young women—some with more money than sense, others desperately trying to find work; and others less concerned about finding jobs for themselves than curious about whether the whole thing was bonâ fide. Then the second act of the drama unfolded. Some women sent post-office orders to Windmill Road; others traveled to Croydon to meet the reclusive owner of Fern House—a small cottage near a wood—who made sure to suggest that she was extensively employed by prominent church furnishing firms in the city.” One young woman sent her guinea and, after weeks of waiting and repeated follow-ups, received ten toilet mats with materials for braiding. There wasn't enough braiding material, so she wrote for more but got no response. She then finished the mats with her own purchased materials and sent them to Croydon, but neither a reply nor payment came. After many more weeks, Mrs. Dellair wrote claiming she was unwell. However, since the advertisement continued in the papers, the wronged young woman wrote to Fern Cottage demanding the return of ten shillings, half of what she had paid for “registration fee, materials, and instruction.” Naturally, there was no response; the victim lost not only her money but also her time and labor, not to mention postage, stress, and other incidental costs. One of the main witnesses against Dellair was the Croydon postmaster, who said he had known her for a year and a half. She commonly brought post-office orders to his office to cash. Since July 1872, she had brought in about three to four hundred orders, mainly for guineas, but some were for half-crowns and half-guineas. These were mostly delivered by her daughter, though sometimes by a servant. On October 30, 1873, one of the post-office orders (shown as evidence) was brought to him, signed by the defendant. He paid the money to the person who presented it. The house where the defendant lived was a small private home called Fern Cottage, and there was no indication of a business being run from there. During cross-examination by the defendant’s lawyer, the postmaster mentioned that the number of orders being cashed by Mrs. Dellair raised his suspicions. However, he knew she was making her living by sending parcels of needlework through the mail, and once he realized that, he didn’t find it so unusual. Mrs. Dellair often bought postage stamps in bulk from him, sometimes for ten shillings, and occasionally for larger amounts. At the trial, the entire row in front of the jury box was filled with young women who had come to testify against her. Some had been wise enough to ask for references but foolish enough to hand over their guineas, even though the testimonials they received were less than satisfactory. Some applicants met with Dellair in Croydon, where she mentioned one or two notable firms as her clients, but during the trial, representatives from those firms testified that they had never heard of her. One peculiar aspect of the trial was the defense counsel's argument, stating that although the victims deserved sympathy, they had foolishly given away their guineas without due caution; the real question was whether the defendant had committed fraud or not. The defense attorney made an unusual point in favor of his client, highlighting that although she had supposedly had four hundred transactions with various individuals, it was strange she hadn’t been discovered and prosecuted sooner; however, he overlooked how much more peculiar it was that the defendant couldn’t produce a single witness from those four hundred clients who could attest to receiving any paid work from her. The defense was creative, and originality in defense often helps with juries, but it didn't work this time, and Mrs. Margaret Annie Dellair was found guilty. The woman was a brazen and shameless con artist who had been systematically exploiting a demographic that, more than any other, could least afford to be cheated—respectably educated young women of modest means, who often find themselves needing employment that provides a little extra above their regular pay. Before sentencing, a Scotland Yard inspector testified that the defendant and her husband had previously lived in Finchley under a different name; that they had later ran a shop in Bloomsbury called “Fuller & Co.,” where they advertised offering “remunerative employment” to both young ladies and gentlemen; that in May 1872, her husband was sentenced to five years in prison for fraud; that following his conviction, she moved to Fern Cottage; and that after her arrest, more than eighty letters had been received by the police complaining about her actions. When called for sentencing, all Margaret Annie Dellair could do was plead that she had been left nearly penniless with seven young children; that she had tried unsuccessfully to earn an honest living by running a stall at a bazaar; and that her crime was driven by her desire to prevent starvation for her innocent children. A good deal of public sympathy was expressed—especially from those with nothing to lose—not for the victims, but for the perpetrator. The current interest in criminals, particularly when they have any hint of a backstory, would seem overly dramatized if depicted in a novel.

The other delinquent was not so interesting, and being only a man, did not find any hearts to bleed for him even among those who had not been deceived. His practices were provincial, his advertisement, of which the following is a copy, being inserted in the Warwickshire and London papers:—

The other delinquent was less intriguing, and as just a man, he didn’t find anyone to sympathize with him, even among those who hadn’t been fooled. His actions were small-town, and his ad, a copy of which is below, was placed in the Warwickshire and London papers:—

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HOME EMPLOYMENT.—Ladies (several) wanted to COPY manuscript SERMONS for supply to the clergy. Reasonable terms. Apply by letter only to R. H., 39, New-buildings, Coventry.

HOME EMPLOYMENT.—Several ladies needed to type up manuscript sermons for the clergy. Reasonable pay. Please apply by mail only to R. H., 39, New-buildings, Coventry.

R. H. was Robert Hemmings, who was eventually tried at the Warwick Assizes of last March, and whose modus operandi was then described. Several young ladies seeing the advertisements, and wishing for employment, wrote to the address given, in answer to which they received the “Prospectus of the Private Office for the Supply of Sermons and Lectures to Clergymen and Public Speakers.” In this highly-titled and pretentious document, clergymen “who find the composition of sermons too heavy a tax on their ingenuity, are invited to subscribe for manuscript sermons, arranged according to the three schools of thought in the English Church. The High Church section is subdivided into Ritualistic and moderate Anglican. The subscription for three sermons weekly is four guineas per annum, payable in advance. The same sermon will not be sent to any two clergymen within twenty miles of each other.” It also states, that the business of the office rendering necessary the employment of copyists, it has been decided to employ ladies only, the reason being that home occupation to gentlewomen of limited income is such a great desideratum of our times. Then it goes on to say that “the ordinary avenues for respectable women desiring to replenish their scanty purses are so overstocked that the limited number we are able to employ will gladly welcome the opportunity of turning a fair handwriting to a profitable account. The remuneration paid will be 2d. per 100 words. To avoid the possibility of unscrupulous persons obtaining valuable sermons on pretence of copying, a guarantee of 10s. will be required from each copyist before MSS. are sent, to be returned when she may discontinue working. Applicants for employment should enclose 2s. 6d. on account of their deposit, which will either be returned or a notification of engagement sent. In the latter case the balance must then[323] be remitted, in order that the first parcel may be supplied. All communications to be sent to Mr Robert Hemmings, 39, New-buildings, Coventry.” One young lady resident in London, who gave evidence, sent the half-crown, and then received a letter stating that she would be employed on forwarding a post-office order to Birmingham for 7s. 6d. She did not do so, but many other ladies were not so wise. The prisoner having obtained the money, ceased to communicate with the applicants. The jury found the prisoner guilty, and the judge sentenced him to twelve months’ imprisonment with hard labour.

R. H. was Robert Hemmings, who was eventually tried at the Warwick Assizes last March, and whose modus operandi was then described. Several young women, seeing the advertisements and looking for work, wrote to the provided address, in response to which they received the “Prospectus of the Private Office for the Supply of Sermons and Lectures to Clergymen and Public Speakers.” In this overly formal and pretentious document, clergymen “who find writing sermons too much of a burden on their creativity are invited to subscribe for manuscript sermons, arranged according to the three schools of thought in the English Church. The High Church section is divided into Ritualistic and moderate Anglican. The subscription for three sermons a week is four guineas per year, payable in advance. The same sermon will not be sent to any two clergymen within twenty miles of each other.” It also mentions that the nature of the office’s work requires the employment of copyists and that only women will be hired, because home-based work for women with limited income is a significant need in our times. It continues to say that “the usual avenues for respectable women wanting to supplement their small incomes are so saturated that the few positions we are able to offer will be welcomed by those looking to make good use of their neat handwriting. The pay will be 2d. per 100 words. To prevent dishonest individuals from obtaining valuable sermons under the guise of copying, a guarantee of 10s. will be required from each copyist before the manuscripts are sent, to be returned when she decides to stop working. Applicants for employment should enclose 2s. 6d. as a deposit, which will either be refunded or a notice of employment will be sent. In the latter case, the remaining balance must then[323] be paid in order for the first parcel to be provided. All correspondence should be sent to Mr. Robert Hemmings, 39, New-buildings, Coventry.” One young woman living in London, who testified, sent the half-crown and then received a letter stating that she would be hired upon sending a money order to Birmingham for 7s. 6d. She didn’t do this, but many other women were not so careful. After getting the money, the prisoner stopped communicating with the applicants. The jury found the prisoner guilty, and the judge sentenced him to twelve months in prison with hard labor.

A more fortunate rogue was one who came into notice at the Sussex Assizes four or five years back. Justice may or may not have overtaken him since, for these fellows have so many and such various aliases that unless you happen to see one tried and hear him sentenced, there is no way of telling who he is or what he may have been. The object of our care at the present moment was known at Bognor in Sussex as Henry Watkis, though as he admitted to one more name, the suggestive one of Walker, even there, it would be difficult to say what might be his name in London or any other large town. He used to advertise to procure situations in London daily and weekly papers, and some complaints having been made to the police, he was taken into custody on a warrant, and appeared at the Chichester Quarter Sessions. From a newspaper report of the time we take some of the following particulars of what must be considered a decided miscarriage of justice.

A luckier con artist was one who came to attention at the Sussex Assizes four or five years ago. Justice may or may not have caught up with him since, because these guys have so many different aliases that unless you actually see one on trial and hear him sentenced, there's no way to know who he is or what he's done. The person we're focusing on right now was known in Bognor, Sussex, as Henry Watkis, but since he also claimed another name, the telling one of Walker, it would still be hard to figure out what his name might be in London or any other big city. He used to place ads to find jobs in London daily and weekly newspapers, and after some complaints were made to the police, he was arrested on a warrant and showed up at the Chichester Quarter Sessions. From a newspaper report from that time, we take some of the following details about what must be seen as a clear miscarriage of justice.

Watkis lived at 6 Jessamine Cottages, Bognor, and when the superintendent of police from Chichester searched his cottage, he found under the stairs 530 letters, consisting of testimonials, replies to, and drafts of advertisements; and in another part of the house he found about 150 envelopes, apparently sent for replies, from which stamps had been cut. When Watkis was apprehended, he acknowledged that he was the person who had been advertising in the name of[324] “B. C., Post-office, Chichester,” by which it seems that he had still another alias, though not in Bognor. On that day he sent a lad to the Chichester post-office, and a large bundle of letters, addressed as above, was brought back from the office. In the course of a few days after Watkis’s apprehension, between seven and eight hundred letters were received at the post-office all directed in the same way. Evidence was given that advertisements were inserted in the Daily Telegraph and Lloyd’s in consequence of orders received in letters signed “Hy. Watkis,” and “Hy. Walker.” About 500 letters were received at Chichester, addressed “X. Y. Z,” in accordance with one of the advertisements, and a very large number were also received at Emsworth under still a fresh set of initials. Altogether nearly 20,000 letters are supposed to have been sent to the two offices for the accused. It was proved that 34s. worth of stamps, all singles, had been sold by Watkis. At the conclusion of the address for the prosecution, the deputy recorder ruled that there was no case to go to the jury as far as the law was concerned. There was no proof that Watkis had, either on his own part or on that of others, no such situations to offer as had been advertised. The jury were not satisfied without hearing the evidence that the prisoner was not guilty. The deputy recorder said they had placed him in a very difficult position, and he must tell them again that the indictment could not be maintained in point of law. Therefore they would be doing a very irregular thing to go into the case. It was for them to find a verdict in accordance with the ruling of the court on the point of law. After some discussion the jury returned into court, and the foreman, in answer to the usual question, said, “If we are obliged to say not guilty, we must; but the jury wish to express a strong opinion.” By advice of the deputy recorder, however, this opinion was not recorded, and the prisoner was accordingly discharged.

Watkis lived at 6 Jessamine Cottages, Bognor, and when the police superintendent from Chichester searched his cottage, he found 530 letters under the stairs, which included testimonials, replies, and drafts of advertisements. In another part of the house, he discovered about 150 envelopes, seemingly sent out for replies, with the stamps cut off. When Watkis was arrested, he admitted that he had been advertising under the name of “B. C., Post-office, Chichester,” indicating he had an additional alias, although not in Bognor. On that day, he sent a boy to the Chichester post-office, and a large bundle of letters addressed as mentioned above was returned from the office. In the days following Watkis’s arrest, between seven and eight hundred letters were received at the post office, all directed the same way. Evidence was presented that advertisements were placed in the Daily Telegraph and Lloyd’s due to orders received in letters signed “Hy. Watkis” and “Hy. Walker.” About 500 letters were received at Chichester, addressed “X. Y. Z,” according to one of the advertisements, and a large number were also received at Emsworth under a new set of initials. In total, nearly 20,000 letters were believed to have been sent to the two offices for the accused. It was established that Watkis sold stamps worth 34s., all singles. At the end of the prosecution's address, the deputy recorder ruled that there was no case to present to the jury regarding the law. There was no evidence that Watkis or anyone else had any actual job openings to offer as advertised. The jury was not satisfied without hearing evidence that the prisoner was not guilty. The deputy recorder told them they had put him in a very difficult position and reiterated that the indictment could not be sustained legally. Therefore, it would be very irregular for them to proceed with the case. They needed to reach a verdict based on the court's ruling on the legal point. After some discussion, the jury returned to court, and the foreman, when asked the usual question, said, “If we are required to say not guilty, we must; but the jury wishes to express a strong opinion.” However, on the deputy recorder's advice, this opinion was not recorded, and the prisoner was subsequently released.

We will wind up this portion of our list of swindles with[325] an advertisement of the same order, which succeeded in realising a good income for its promoter:—

We will conclude this part of our list of scams with[325] an advertisement of a similar kind, which managed to generate a decent income for its promoter:

LADIES and EDUCATED WOMEN are respectfully invited to consult Mrs. EGGLESTON’S SERIES of 60 HOME and other NEW EMPLOYMENTS, which are beginning to attract a large share of public interest for their marked superiority over very unremunerative pursuits usually engaged in.—Enclose an addressed stamped envelope to Mrs Eggleston, ——, Ramsgate, for prospectus.

LLADIES and EDUCATED WOMEN are warmly invited to check out Mrs. EGGLESTON’S SERIES of 60 HOME and other NEW EMPLOYMENTS, which are starting to gain a lot of public attention for being much better than the usual low-paying jobs. — Please include a stamped addressed envelope to Mrs. Eggleston, ——, Ramsgate, for the prospectus.

Sixty different businesses to choose from for home employment! Dollseye and leather-apron weaving was doubtless among them; and in sorting out those occupations most suited to her various correspondents, Mrs Eggleston doubtless passed a pleasant time at the seaside, even if she did not lay up riches against the time she returned to London.

Sixty different businesses to choose from for working at home! Dollseye and leather-apron weaving were certainly among them; and while figuring out which jobs were best for her various contacts, Mrs. Eggleston likely had a nice time at the beach, even if she didn’t save up any money before heading back to London.

Turf-swindlers are next upon our list, and no one will doubt that these gentry are well deserving of attention, the more so as, partly by themselves, and partly by means of the shortsightedness peculiar to the public, which causes it to form judgments on subjects it does not understand, welchers and thieves who advertise the most impossible “certainties” have been in numerous instances taken to represent the respectable and honourable turfite. We know it is the custom now to assume that a man is bound to be dishonourable if he be professionally connected with racing in any capacity; and any effort made to contradict wholesale and thoughtless accusations is supposed to be the outcome of self-interest, or the blind devotion of quixotry. Men who are cool and calculating enough when discussing ordinary subjects, become almost rabid when the turf is mentioned; and in most articles which have been written on the subject of sporting advertisements, it is assumed that the scheming concocters of baits for fools are fair representatives of the bookmaking class, and all are alike denounced. Surely it would be as just to assume that the baby-farmers and promoters of home employment whose[326] effusions we have quoted were fair representatives of ordinary commerce, as that the “discretionary-investment” promoter is in any way connected with the legitimate bookmaker. We have no wish here to argue for or against betting; but we cannot help noticing that even in Parliament—which is never supposed to legislate upon what it does not understand!—notorious thieves have been taken to represent the principal advertising bookmakers, and long arguments as to the equity of the Betting-House Act framed on the assumption. During the present year there has been considerable discussion in the House of Commons with reference to the Act which was passed in 1853, Scotland being at the time exempt from its operation. The effect of leaving the “land of cakes” in the position of one who is known to be too virtuous to need protection was not visible for some years; for though the Act of Sir Alexander Cockburn had the effect of clearing away the numerous betting-offices, which were undoubtedly at the time public nuisances and open lures to men whose speculative disposition was in inverse proportion to its means of gratification, the better-class agents, whose business was carried on through the post only, continued to flourish or decay, according to circumstances, until 1869. The attention of the police being then drawn to numerous advertisements which appeared in the London and provincial papers on the subject of betting, a raid was made on a large establishment near Covent Garden: books and papers, clerks and managers, were seized and conveyed to Bow Street; and though the employés were ultimately discharged, the proprietor was ultimately fined heavily, the decision of the magistrate being eventually endorsed by the judges to whom the case was referred on appeal. A flight of betting men resulted, the resting-place of some being Glasgow, and of others Edinburgh; from both of which places they put forth their advertisements as before, safe in the knowledge that so far, at all events, the law was on[327] their side. The extension of the Act of 1853 was of course only matter of time; but the first two or three efforts failed signally, principally on account of the blind animosity of the promoters of the measure, which caused them to frame bills which, for intolerance and hopeless stupidity, have perhaps never been equalled. Another cause was a feeling that, while one form of betting was allowed at Tattersall’s and the chief sporting clubs—a form which had shown itself equal to ruining several peers and hundreds of young men of less degree—it was impolitic to over-legislate with regard to the half-crowns and half-sovereigns of working men and small tradesmen, and to say to them, while yet the terrible “plunging” years were fresh in memory, “Dukes and marquises only shall ruin themselves at will, you, the common people, must be saving as well as industrious.”

Turf swindlers are next on our list, and no one will argue that these individuals deserve attention, especially since, partly due to their own actions and partly because of the public's shortsightedness—which leads to judgments on topics they don’t fully understand—scammers and thieves who promote incredibly dubious “certainties” have often been mistaken for respectable and honorable figures in racing. It's now common to assume that if someone is professionally involved in racing in any way, they must be dishonorable; and any efforts to refute these blanket accusations are seen as self-serving or an act of misguided idealism. People who are calm and rational when discussing ordinary matters turn almost hysterical at the mention of the turf; in most articles written about sports advertisements, it’s assumed that the scheming creators of traps for fools represent the entire bookmaking community, leading to a broad condemnation of all. It would be just as fair to think that those who exploit baby farming and promote home employment, whose writings we've quoted, represent the average business world, as to suggest that the “discretionary investment” promoter is in any way related to legitimate bookmakers. We don’t intend to argue for or against betting; however, it’s worth noting that even in Parliament—which is not supposed to make laws about things it doesn’t understand!—notorious criminals have been viewed as representatives of the major advertising bookmakers, and extensive discussions about the fairness of the Betting-House Act have been based on this assumption. This year, there has been significant discussion in the House of Commons regarding the Act passed in 1853, which at that time exempted Scotland from its enforcement. The decision to leave Scotland in a position where it was perceived as too virtuous to need protection took some years to show its effects; for while Sir Alexander Cockburn’s Act cleared many betting offices, which were undeniably nuisances and temptations for those whose speculative tendencies were inversely proportional to their financial means, the better-quality agents, who conducted their business solely through the post, continued to thrive or decline, depending on circumstances, until 1869. Then, police attention was drawn to numerous ads appearing in London and provincial papers regarding betting, leading to a raid on a large establishment near Covent Garden: books and documents, clerks and managers were seized and taken to Bow Street; and although the employees were ultimately released, the owner faced hefty fines, a decision that was supported by the judges when the case was appealed. This prompted many betting individuals to flee, with some relocating to Glasgow and others to Edinburgh; from both cities, they resumed their advertising, feeling confident that, for now, the law was on their side. Extending the Act of 1853 was only a matter of time; however, the first few attempts failed miserably, mainly due to the blind hatred from the measure’s proponents, which led to the creation of bills that have perhaps never been matched in their intolerance and sheer stupidity. Another reason is the sentiment that, while one type of betting was permitted at Tattersall’s and the major sporting clubs—a type that had led to the ruin of several peers and hundreds of lesser men—it was imprudent to over-regulate the small wagers of workers and small business owners and to tell them, especially with the horrific “plunging” years still fresh in memory, “Only dukes and marquises can ruin themselves as they please; you, the common people, should be thrifty as well as hardworking.”

At last Mr Anderson, one of the members for Glasgow, introduced his Extension Bill (1874), and though his arguments were eminently ridiculous, as he assumed that every advertiser was a swindler, his legislative attempt was a much greater success than any former effort had been in the same direction, and his bill, with a few modifications, eventually became law. As an instance of the feeling to which this measure gave rise, we quote part of a criticism upon it from the most able of the sporting papers which make the turf their principal study, the Sportsman, the first journal that refused the advertisements of swindlers whose intentions were evident, a method of self-abnegation which might be studied to advantage by many virtuous newspapers, which, while they weep over the iniquity of sporting advertisements, are strangely oblivious as to the character or effect of those which appear in their own columns. It must be remembered that the “ring” and Tattersall’s betting—of which mention is made in the following—is not interfered with by law, because nothing is staked before the decision of the race but “honour.” This, being often deeply mortgaged,[328] is found insufficient for the demand when settling-day arrives.

Finally, Mr. Anderson, one of the representatives for Glasgow, introduced his Extension Bill (1874), and although his arguments were quite ridiculous since he assumed that every advertiser was a fraud, his legislative attempt was a much bigger success than any previous efforts in the same direction, and his bill, with a few tweaks, eventually became law. As an example of the reaction this measure sparked, we quote part of a critique from the most prominent sporting paper focused on horse racing, the Sportsman, which was the first publication to refuse advertisements from obvious swindlers—a move that many respectable newspapers could learn from, as they lament the wrongs of sporting ads while surprisingly ignoring the nature or impact of the ads in their own pages. It's important to note that the "ring" and Tattersall's betting—mentioned later—aren't affected by law since nothing is wagered before the race is decided except "honor." This, often heavily borrowed against, turns out to be insufficient when settling day arrives.[328]

Says the writer in the Sportsman, after demolishing several of the charges made against ready-money betting: “Take the case of those who bet in the ring, or at Tattersall’s, or in the clubs. What guarantee is there between the contracting parties that there shall be no element of fraud, and consequently no immorality in the transaction? And what guarantee is there that one or other of the contracting parties who is induced to bet is not a person who cannot afford to lose? There is an inducement to bet on either side: on the side of the layer and on the side of the backer, and will any one acquainted with the subject be prepared to say that in scores of cases there is not on both parts a total inability to pay in the event of loss? What man is there who, having seen much of the ring, cannot recall many instances of layers betting to such an extent that they could never pay if the fates were against them, and of backers ‘having’ the ring all round without a sovereign in their pockets? Nay, cannot even the general public who are not initiated into such mysteries remember numbers of men who have ruined themselves and others under the system in which Mr Anderson ‘does not feel there is any immorality,’ because in it ‘the element of fraud is not introduced,’ and because under it ‘people who cannot afford to lose’ are not induced to bet? The result of his bill will be that he will drive men from one style of betting, in which they lose or win, knowing the extent of their gains or their losses, to another, under which they may be drawn into hopeless speculation, and perhaps concomitant fraud, simply because they are not called on for ready money. We do not propose to follow Mr Anderson through his ingenious and amusing descriptions of the advertisements of tipsters and ‘discretionary-investment’ people. He was good enough to introduce ourselves as a striking example of the facility with which such persons[329] could foist their schemes on the public, and of the large profits which were derived by certain newspaper proprietors from them. He had the honesty to acknowledge that we had refused to take any further announcements with respect to ‘discretionary investments,’ and that we had persistently cautioned our readers to have nothing to do with them.... As for tipsters, who merely offer to give information for a shilling’s worth of stamps, what immorality can there be in that which is not to be found in the ‘selections’ of the daily newspapers? Even the Times, in a roundabout ‘respectable’ way, now and then indicates horses which, in the opinion of its sporting writer, will win certain races, and there is hardly a daily paper in town or country which has not its regular ‘prophet,’ who from day to day lifts up his voice or his pen and offers inducements to the public to bet. Can any one of such journals say to us, ‘I am holier than thou, because I sell my prophecies for a penny, and thou insertest the advertisements of men who want a dozen stamps for theirs’? But the whole policy of objecting to certain classes of advertisements is absurd. If the proprietor of a newspaper were to inquire, even superficially, into the bona fides of all the announcements he makes every day, his journal could not be conducted. If he were even to confine his attention to the examination of the prospectuses of joint-stock companies—and this will appeal to Mr Anderson—he would be in the Bankruptcy Court in six months. Suppose the directors of any one of hundreds of bubble concerns which every year carry away the public with ‘bogus’ announcements were to appear before the manager of the Times with their prospectuses, what would they think if he said, ‘Gentlemen, before I insert this you must prove to me that it is not a gross swindle;’ and how would they proceed to do so?”

Says the writer in the Sportsman, after debunking several accusations against cash betting: “Take the case of those who bet in the ring, or at Tattersall’s, or in the clubs. What guarantee do the parties involved have that there’s no fraud, and therefore no immorality in the deal? And how can we be sure that one of the parties being pressured to bet isn’t someone who can’t afford to lose? There’s an incentive to bet on both sides: from the bookmaker and from the bettor, and can anyone familiar with this say that in many cases both parties don’t have the means to settle if they lose? What person, after spending time in the ring, can’t recall many occurrences of bookmakers betting so much that they’d never be able to pay if luck is against them, and of bettors ‘having’ the ring but not a pound to their name? Even the general public, not in the know about such things, can remember many individuals who have destroyed themselves and others through the system in which Mr. Anderson ‘does not believe there is any immorality,’ because in it ‘the element of fraud is not involved,’ and because under it ‘people who cannot afford to lose’ are not tempted to bet? The effect of his bill will be to push people from one type of betting, where they win or lose knowing how much they’ve gained or lost, to another, where they might get sucked into a losing situation, and possibly related fraud, just because they aren’t required to pay cash upfront. We won’t follow Mr. Anderson through his clever and entertaining descriptions of the ads from tipsters and ‘discretionary-investment’ folks. He was kind enough to use us as a prime example of how easily such people can trick the public, and how significant profits are made by certain newspaper owners from them. He admitted that we refused to run any more ads about ‘discretionary investments,’ and that we have consistently warned our readers to steer clear of them…. As for tipsters, who simply offer information for a shilling’s worth of stamps, what immorality exists in that which isn’t present in the ‘selections’ of daily newspapers? Even the Times, in a roundabout ‘respectable’ manner, occasionally suggests horses that, according to its sports writer, will win specific races, and there’s hardly a daily paper, in the city or countryside, that doesn’t have its regular ‘prophet,’ who daily raises his voice or pen to encourage the public to bet. Can any of those papers say to us, ‘I’m more virtuous than you, since I sell my predictions for a penny, while you run ads from people who want a dozen stamps for theirs’? But the entire policy of opposing certain types of advertisements is ridiculous. If a newspaper owner were to even superficially check the bona fides of all the announcements made daily, his publication couldn’t operate. If he were to only focus on examining the prospectuses of joint-stock companies—and this will resonate with Mr. Anderson—he would find himself in the Bankruptcy Court within six months. Imagine if the directors of any of the countless shady companies that mislead the public with ‘bogus’ announcements came to the manager of the Times with their prospectuses; what would they think if he said, ‘Gentlemen, before I publish this, you need to prove it’s not a blatant scam’; and how would they go about doing that?”

We admit to a weakness for reading the sporting papers, and can therefore vouch for the truth of what the Sportsman says about its own action. It would have been well, however,[330] if other papers had been as careful, for we happen to know that all the contemporaries of the journal from which we have quoted did not come out with quite such clean hands. Some not only continued to insert the advertisements, despite numerous complaints, but actually doubled the usual tariff price to the thieves. This seems to have been a pretty general proceeding when the discretionary movement was at its height, all papers which continued to insert the specious swindles after the exposures had begun being very careful to be well paid for their trouble. As in these days the plain truth is often the most desperate of libels, we must refrain from particularising; but we should think that no one in his sober senses will dispute the evident fact that such newspaper proprietors as took double pay from men because they knew they were assisting them in robbery, were morally far and away more guilty than the robbers themselves. If any apology is needed for our going so far into the betting subject, it will be found in the almost total ignorance, as well as the blind prejudice, which is every day manifested about the difference between the commission agents and their greatest enemies, the advertising welchers.

We admit we have a weakness for reading sports news, so we can vouch for what the Sportsman says about its own actions. However, it would have been better if other papers had been as careful, because we know that all the peers of the journal we've quoted did not act quite so responsibly. Some not only continued to run the ads despite numerous complaints but actually doubled the usual price charged to the scammers. This seems to have been a common occurrence when the discretionary movement was at its peak, with all papers that kept featuring these misleading scams after the exposure being quite careful to get paid well for their trouble. In these times, the plain truth is often the most desperate of libels, so we’ll refrain from specifics; but we believe that no rational person will argue against the clear fact that newspaper owners who took double payment from people while knowing they were aiding in theft were morally much more guilty than the thieves themselves. If any explanation is needed for delving into the betting topic, it lies in the widespread ignorance and blind bias shown daily about the difference between the commission agents and their biggest enemies, the dishonest advertisers.

The raid which drove the bookmakers from London to the principal towns in Scotland seems almost to have been organised by the authorities in the interest of the scamps of the betting world. It certainly was considerably to the latter’s advantage. In the hurry and turmoil which eventuated from the hegira, it was hard for people who were not experts to tell the good men from the bad; and as, the more unfounded a man’s pretensions, the greater were his promises, letters containing remittances almost swarmed into the offices least worthy of confidence. One good, however, resulted from this. The conversion of sinners we have the best authority for regarding as a blessing, and it must be admitted that owing to the manner in which money poured in upon them, and one or two subsequent bits of luck in the way of unbacked horses’ victories, men who went to[331] Glasgow and Edinburgh as adventurers, if not as actual thieves, remained to become not only solvent, but strictly virtuous. It was not, however, until affairs had somewhat settled down in the North, until Scotland began to be regarded as the permanent abode of the layer of odds, that advertisements which on the face of them were gigantic swindles appeared. Hitherto the attempts of impostors had been confined to a semblance of really fair and legitimate business, the firm being existent as long as there was nothing to pay, and non est immediately the blow came. And people who imagine that a bookmaker has nothing to do but take money, would respect him rather more than they do now if after one or two big races they could see his account, and note the scrupulous manner in which every debt is paid, if he bids for respectability in his vocation. A delay of a day in his settlement would lead to unpleasant results, for the very contiguity of the thieves makes the honest men more exact in their transactions. So it is usual, when a man has money to receive by post from a commission agent, for him to get it at once, or most likely not at all. The tipstering and touting fraternities had, while the headquarters of advertising turfites remained in London, been satisfied with short paragraphs intimating their absolute knowledge of the future, and their willingness to communicate such knowledge to the British public for a consideration in the way of stamps, or a percentage on winnings. But when once ready money had been tasted, it seemed to act on these people as blood is said to on tigers, and they determined to have more at all risks. It was useless to try for it a year or so after the migration by applications couched in the ordinary style, for the run of business was by that time divided among certain firms, and the old slow way of giving advice for shillings and sixpences was abhorrent to minds that soared after bank-notes and post-office orders; besides, it had very nearly worn itself out. Fresh moves were therefore necessary, and they were made in various ways, each of[332] which was more or less successful. The most important of them all, and the one with which we have to do now, was the discretionary-investment dodge, which was for a time a complete success, and which would have lasted much longer than it did, had it not been for the faculty of imitation possessed by thieves other than those who inaugurated the venture. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but even flattery must be painful when it is destructive, and Messrs Balliee & Walter could doubtless have dispensed with the crowds who followed in their wake, and almost made the fortunes of all papers who would take their advertisements. We are not aware whether the system was invented by Balliee & Walter, either or both; but, anyhow, they were its first promoters to any extent, and became thoroughly identified with it. Rumour states that Balliee was a kind of Mrs Harris, and that Walter was the firm. This is nothing to us, though, however much it may be to those who were despoiled of their cash by the discretionary swindle. The advertisements put forth for the benefit of those willing to trust their money blindly into the hands of men of whom they knew nothing must have been very successful, for it is admitted that the letters received in Glasgow for Balliee & Walter were so enormous in quantity that special arrangements had often to be made for their delivery. It is noticeable that swindlers of this description always assume that their firm is not only long established but well known, and the following, taken from the first page of the Sporting Life of the Derby-day 1871, will show that the particular people in question had no scruple about inventing facts for the purpose of substantiating their arguments:—

The raid that forced bookmakers to flee London to the main towns in Scotland seems almost to have been organized by the authorities to benefit the shady characters of the betting world. It definitely worked out well for them. In the chaos that followed their exodus, it was difficult for outsiders to distinguish the trustworthy from the untrustworthy; and the more dubious a person's claims, the bigger their promises were, leading to a flood of letters containing payments into the least trustworthy offices. However, one positive outcome came from this. Converting wrongdoers is widely regarded as a blessing, and it must be acknowledged that because of the influx of money they received, along with a couple of lucky wins from unbacked horses, those who arrived in Glasgow and Edinburgh as adventurers, if not outright thieves, ended up not just financially stable but also morally upright. It wasn't until things had calmed down in the North and Scotland was viewed as the permanent hub for betting that advertisements clearly meant to deceive started appearing. Before this, fraudulent attempts were limited to a façade of legitimate business, with companies existing only as long as there was nothing to pay, and disappearing as soon as things went south. People who think a bookmaker's only job is to take money would likely have more respect for them if they could see their accounts after a couple of big races and observe how diligently every debt is settled, especially when they strive for respectability in their work. Any delay of just a day in transactions would result in serious issues, as the proximity of dishonest individuals makes the genuine ones more precise in their dealings. Therefore, when someone has money to receive from a commission agent by mail, it's expected that they get it immediately or not at all. While the advertising turf community maintained its base in London, the tipsters and touts had been satisfied with short ads claiming they had absolute knowledge of upcoming events and their willingness to share this for a fee in stamps or a cut of winnings. However, once they experienced ready cash, it seemed to fuel their ambition like blood does to tigers, driving them to seek more at any cost. Attempts to reach out for money the usual way became pointless about a year after the migration, as business had by then been divided among certain firms, and the old method of providing tips for small fees was seen as outdated by those now chasing larger payouts; besides, it was nearly exhausted. Therefore, new strategies became necessary and were implemented in various forms, each with varying levels of success. The most crucial of these, and the one we're focusing on now, was the discretionary-investment scheme, which was initially a huge success and could have lasted much longer if it weren't for the ability of other con artists to imitate it. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it can also be quite damaging, and Messrs Balliee & Walter likely would have preferred to be without the throngs that followed them and nearly made fortunes for any paper willing to run their ads. We aren't sure whether Balliee & Walter came up with the system, whether either did, or both; however, they certainly were the first to promote it significantly and became strongly associated with it. Rumor has it that Balliee was somewhat like a Mrs. Harris and that Walter represented the firm. This is irrelevant to us, even if it's significant to those who lost money to the discretionary scheme. The ads aimed at those willing to blindly trust their funds to people they knew nothing about must have been very effective, as reports state that the volume of letters received in Glasgow for Balliee & Walter was so massive that special arrangements often needed to be made for their delivery. It's notable that swindlers of this kind always claim that their firm is not only well-established but also well-known, and the following excerpt from the first page of the Sporting Life on Derby Day in 1871 shows these particular individuals had no qualms about fabricating facts to back up their claims:—

THE KINGSCLERE LONDON AND GLASGOW TURF
COMMISSION AGENCY.

THE KINGSCLERE LONDON AND GLASGOW TURF
COMMISSION AGENCY.

Messrs. BALLIEE and WALTER beg to inform their subscribers and the sporting public that, in consequence of increase of business, they have opened a Commission Agency in Glasgow, where in future all commissions will be executed.

Messrs. BALLIEE and WALTER want to let their subscribers and the sports community know that, due to business growth, they have opened a Commission Agency in Glasgow, where all future commissions will be handled.

[333]

[333]

Gentlemen may rely on liberal treatment and prompt settlement of all claims. All letters answered same day as received.

Gentlemen can expect fair treatment and quick resolution of all claims. All letters will be answered the same day they're received.


MESSRS. BALLIEE AND WALTER

Messrs. Balliee and Walter

(Members of the principal West-End Clubs),

(Members of the main West-End Clubs),

62, Jamaica Street, Glasgow.

62 Jamaica Street, Glasgow.

As heretofore, Commissions of every description, and to any amount, will be undertaken, the following being the leading features:—

As before, commissions of all kinds and for any amount will be carried out, with the following being the main features:—

Investments on Forthcoming Events effected at the best Market Prices.

Investing in Upcoming Events made at the best market prices.

First Favourites backed at the post, and the rate of odds guaranteed as quoted by the sporting paper the investor chooses to adopt.

First Favorites backed at the starting point, with the odds locked in as reported by the sports publication the bettor decides to follow.

Jockeys’ Mounts invested upon in accordance with any scale or principle.

Jockeys’ Horses bet on based on any scale or principle.

Post Commissions for EPSOM MEETING will meet with prompt attention.

Post-Commission Updates for the EPSOM MEETING will be addressed quickly.


THE EPSOM CARNIVAL.
THE OAKS A CERTAINTY.

THE EPSOM CARNIVAL.
THE OAKS A SURE THING.

"If becoming a millionaire is your goal right now,
"Don't wait, join our systematic gains right now." Shakespeare, revised and improved.

A Safe Investment.—Winning a Certainty.

A Safe Investment.—Winning Guaranteed.


KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR

KINGSCLERE RACING UPDATE

DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.
Messrs. BALLIEE and WALTER, Proprietors
(Members of the principal West-End Clubs).

DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.
Mr. BALLIEE and Mr. WALTER, Owners
(Members of the main West-End Clubs).

The only recognised method by which backers of horses can win large sums at all the principal meetings.

The only recognized way for horse backers to win big at all the major events.


Prospectuses Free on Receipt of Address.

Brochures Available on Request.


MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER draw the attention of investors to the all-important fact that they alone of all firms who undertake Discretionary Investments are to be seen personally in the Ring, and are represented at the lists outside, at every meeting throughout the racing season. Some firms, although they state they are present, are never to be seen.

MGentlemen. BALLIEE and WALTER want to highlight to investors that they are the only firm involved in Discretionary Investments who can be seen in person in the Ring. They are present at the lists outside at every meeting during the racing season. Some firms claim to be present, but they are never actually seen.


SELECTED MORTEMER TO WIN AND A PLACE
[334]FOR CHESTER CUP;
THE DWARF,
GREAT NORTHERN;
LORD HAWTHORN,
FLYING DUTCHMAN;
STANLEY,
DONCASTER SPRING HANDICAP;
With nearly every other winner at York and Newmarket.
We defy contradiction, and court inquiry.

SELECTED MORTEMER TO WIN AND A PLACE
[334]FOR CHESTER CUP;
THE DWARF,
GREAT NORTHERN;
LORD HAWTHORN,
FLYING DUTCHMAN;
STANLEY,
DONCASTER SPRING HANDICAP;
With nearly every other winner at York and Newmarket.
We challenge anyone to disagree and invite investigation.


Results of Late Meetings:—

Outcomes of Recent Meetings:—

Each £10 investor at York was remitted by Friday’s post (May 12) £108 nett winnings.

Each £10 investor at York received £108 in net winnings by Friday’s post (May 12).

Each £5 investor at Doncaster was remitted by Monday’s post, £85.

Each £5 investor at Doncaster received £85 in Monday's mail.

Being exclusive of stake and nett return after commission (5 per cent.) had been deducted.

Being exclusive of stake and net return after a 5 percent commission has been deducted.

Newmarket accounts and winnings were forwarded by Tuesday’s post, May 16.

Newmarket accounts and winnings were sent by Tuesday's mail, May 16.

Gentlemen of capital and backers of horses can now judge of the intrinsic value of this infallible system of backing our Final Selection at the post.

Gentlemen with money and supporters of horses can now assess the true value of this foolproof method of backing our Final Selection at the starting gate.


MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER will continue their highly successful system of DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS at the

MElders. BALLIEE and WALTER will continue their very successful approach to DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS at the

EPSOM MEETING,

Epsom Event,

where they personally attend, and as such a great influx of business is expected during the Derby Week, they have engaged three extra Commissioners to assist them in carrying out the system, and again are sanguine of realising a gold-achieving victory.

where they personally attend, and since a significant increase in business is expected during Derby Week, they have hired three additional Commissioners to help implement the system, and they are once again hopeful of achieving a major success.

At Epsom Meeting Last Summer, Season 1870,
Each £25 investor was returned £703 nett Winnings, in addition to stake deposited.

At the Epsom Meeting last summer, in the year 1870,
Each £25 investor received £703 net winnings, plus their original stake back.

Each investor of £20 in 1868 realised £487.
£25 1869 £324 15s.
£50 1870 £1,406.

The above sums were paid to each investor of the specified amounts, and this season we with confidence assert that the investments will be more remunerative to the investor.

The amounts mentioned above were paid to each investor as specified, and this season we confidently state that the investments will be more profitable for the investor.

The Oaks this season will be won by, comparatively speaking, an outsider. Last season’s subscribers will remember our warning them against Hester, and we assure our readers that Hannah will, like all the Baron’s favourites, be doomed to defeat. A clever Northern division have a filly the beau ideal of Blink Bonny, as being tried a 7℔ better animal than Bothwell, and with health must win the fillies’ race[335] in a canter. The owner most unfortunately omitted to enter her for the Two Thousand and Derby, or we should have seen her credited with the first-named event, and first favourite for Blue Riband honours.

The Oaks this season will likely be won by an outsider. Last season’s subscribers will remember our warning against Hester, and we assure our readers that Hannah will, like all of the Baron’s favorites, be doomed to lose. A smart Northern division has a filly that's the ideal of Blink Bonny, claiming to be a 7-pound better horse than Bothwell, and if she stays healthy, she will easily win the fillies’ race[335] without any trouble. Unfortunately, the owner forgot to enter her for the Two Thousand and Derby, or we would have seen her as credited with the first event and the top favorite for Blue Riband honors.

SEVERAL RODS ARE IN PICKLE

SEVERAL RODS ARE IN BRINE

for the minor events. Particulars were given in our last week’s Circular (May 12), and even at this distant period we are enabled to predict the success of six certain winners.

for the minor events. Details were provided in our last week’s Circular (May 12), and even at this point in time, we can confidently predict the success of six certain winners.

HAVING HORSES OF OUR OWN,

Owning our own horses,

and others identical with our interests, running at this meeting, coupled with the important commissions we have the working of at EPSOM.

and others who share our interests, participating in this meeting, along with the important tasks we have underway at EPSOM.

Our knowledge of market movements, the intimate terms we are on with the various owners, jockeys, and trainers, our social position with the élite of the racing world, enables us to ascertain the intentions of other owners and the chances their respective candidates possess—information far beyond the reach of other advertisers.

Our understanding of market trends, our close relationships with different owners, jockeys, and trainers, and our social status among the elite in the racing world allow us to determine the intentions of other owners and the chances their candidates have—insights that are well beyond what other advertisers can access.

This is by no means all; we merely pause to take breath and recover self-possession, after a steady perusal of Mr Walter’s benefactions. It is noticeable that the standard of verse employed by these philanthropists is about on a par with their standard of morality. It seems wonderful that any sane person should believe in the existence of a certain guide to the winning-post, and the idea that, if there had been such a thing, Messrs Balliee & Walter would have assuredly used it for themselves alone, never seems to have entered into the heads of their victims, at all events until too late. After the vaunt about position and information, the intimates of “the élite of the racing world” go on:—

This is definitely not everything; we just need to take a moment to catch our breath and regain our composure after going through Mr. Walter's charitable contributions. It's interesting to see that the quality of poetry used by these philanthropists is about the same as their moral standards. It's hard to believe that any rational person would think there’s a reliable method to reach the finish line, and the thought that, if such a thing existed, Messrs Balliee & Walter would undoubtedly keep it to themselves, seems to have never crossed the minds of their followers—at least, not until it was too late. After boasting about their status and knowledge, the insiders of “the élite of the racing world” continue:—

MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER, alone of all firms that undertake Discretionary Investments, are to be seen personally in the Ring, and they wish to draw the attention of Turf speculators to the fact that NO OTHER ADVERTISERS ARE OWNERS OF HORSES, despite what they may say to the contrary. If their systems equalled ours, would they not accept the challenge given by us for the past twelve months in the various sporting papers? Vide commencement of advertisement.

MGentlemen. BALLIEE and WALTER, the only firms handling Discretionary Investments, are available in person in the Ring. They want to point out to Turf speculators that NO OTHER ADVERTISERS OWN HORSES, regardless of what they claim. If their systems were as good as ours, wouldn't they have taken up our challenge published in various sports papers over the past year? See the start of the advertisement.

So sanguine are we of success at Epsom, the innumerable and peculiar advantages presented, and every facility being offered for the successful working of our

So confident are we in our success at Epsom, with the countless and unique advantages available, and every opportunity provided for effectively carrying out our

DISCRETIONARY METHOD,
[336]that we are enabled to
GUARANTEE AGAINST LOSS,
and assert with confidence that
WINNING IS REDUCED TO AN ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY.

Discretionary approach,
[336]that we are able to
Loss protection guarantee,
and state with certainty that
WINNING IS ALMOST ASSURED.


Deposit required for Discretionary Investments at the
EPSOM SUMMER MEETING:—
£500, £100, £50, £25, £10, or £5.

Deposit required for Discretionary Investments at the __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.
EPSOM SUMMER MEETING:—
£500, £100, £50, £25, £10, or £5.

By investing in accordance with this infallible method of backing our final selections at the post, loss is simply an impossibility, and guaranteed against,

By investing following this foolproof method of placing our final bets at the track, losing is completely impossible and completely avoided.

WINNING BEING REDUCED TO AN ABSOLUTE
CERTAINTY.

WINNING BEING REDUCED TO AN ABSOLUTE
CERTAINTY.

This often-repeated assertion (and not once contradicted for the past five years), and the winnings realised weekly for subscribers who patronise this system, is sufficient to prove its intrinsic value.

This frequently stated claim (and not once challenged in the past five years), along with the earnings generated weekly for subscribers who use this system, is enough to demonstrate its inherent value.

This is just the sort and class of meeting for gentlemen of capital and systematic investors to invest a £500 or £1,000 bank, being indeed a golden opportunity that all should embrace. The fact of our guaranteeing

This is exactly the kind of meeting for wealthy individuals and serious investors to put in £500 or £1,000, truly a golden opportunity that everyone should seize. The fact that we guarantee

A Win Equal to our Success of Last Summer,
and, as previously stated,
Guarantee to hold the Investor against Loss of even a
Fractional Part of Capital Employed
,

A Victory That Equals Our Success from Last Summer,
and, as mentioned before,
Guarantee to protect the Investor from losing even a
small part of the invested capital.
,

should be sufficient to convince gentlemen of the true character and value of this infallible method of backing our final selections at the post.

should be enough to convince everyone of the true nature and value of this foolproof method of placing our final bets at the post.

CAN ANY SYSTEM BE SO LUCRATIVE TO THE
INVESTOR?

CAN ANY SYSTEM BE SO PROFITABLE TO THE
INVESTOR?

Our position as owners of horses and proprietors of “THE KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR,” the most successful medium of all Turf advices, and has treble the circulation of any other circular published; the flattering encomiums passed on our “Infallible Method” by the Sporting Press of the United Kingdom, and being recommended by them as

Our role as horse owners and publishers of “THE KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR,” the most successful source for Turf advice, is impressive, boasting three times the circulation of any other circular out there. The glowing praise for our “Infallible Method” from the Sporting Press in the United Kingdom, along with their recommendations, shows

“The only recognised method by which backers of horses can win
large sums at all the principal meetings;”

“The only accepted way for horse backers to win
big money at all the major events;”

coupled with our position as the most influential Commission Agents both in the London and Manchester Markets, ensure gentlemen entrusting us with Discretionary Investments being fairly and honestly dealt with, and the successes that we promise and achieve meeting after meeting in the columns of this and other papers.

coupled with our role as the most influential Commission Agents in both the London and Manchester Markets, ensures that clients who trust us with Discretionary Investments are treated fairly and honestly, and that the successes we promise and achieve are reflected in the columns of this and other publications, meeting after meeting.


[337]

[337]

FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS.

Facts are stubborn things.


The following average results speak volumes in favour of this method:—

The following average results strongly support this method:—

The following successes have been achieved this season by

The following successes have been achieved this season by

THE KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR’S
INFALLIBLE METHOD
OF
DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.

THE KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR’S
FOOLPROOF METHOD
OF
DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.

Each £25 investor at Enfield received nett winnings value £200.

Each £25 investor at Enfield received net winnings worth £200.

Each £10 investor at Lichfield was remitted by Thursday’s post (April 13) £82 10s., being winnings and stake included, after the 5 per cent. commission had been deducted.

Each £10 investor at Lichfield received through Thursday's mail (April 13) a total of £82.50, which included both winnings and the initial stake, after deducting a 5 percent commission.

Each investor of a £10 stake at the Lincoln Meeting received nett winnings of £180 10s. by Tuesday’s post, March 28.

Each investor who put in a £10 stake at the Lincoln Meeting received net winnings of £180.50 by Tuesday’s mail, March 28.

Each investor at Liverpool in accordance with this system, on two investments, viz.,

Each investor at Liverpool under this system, on two investments, namely,

THE LAMB Win,
SCARRINGTON A place,

realised £75 with each £10 invested.

realized £75 for every £10 invested.

A £10 stake realised £200 nett winnings at the Burton (Lincoln) Meeting.

A £10 bet made £200 in net winnings at the Burton (Lincoln) Meeting.

A £25 stake invested on Waterloo Cup realised £300,

A £25 bet placed on the Waterloo Cup made £300,

MASTER MCGRATH

Master McGrath

being selected right throughout the piece, and again in finals with Pretender.

being selected throughout the piece, and again in the finals with Pretender.

A £10 stake realised at the Cambridgeshire Meeting the sum of £240 nett winnings.

A £10 bet at the Cambridgeshire Meeting resulted in £240 in net winnings.

A £5 stake at the West Drayton Meeting realised £30 nett winnings.

A £5 bet at the West Drayton Meeting earned £30 in net winnings.

Bromley and several other meetings were also highly successful.

Bromley and a few other meetings were also very successful.

At Croxton Park each £10 invested realised £102 nett.

At Croxton Park, every £10 invested returned a net profit of £102.

Each £25 invested at Thirsk realised £150.

Each £25 invested at Thirsk turned into £150.

THE ABOVE AMOUNTS HAVE BEEN PAID THIS SEASON TO ALL PATRONS WHO ENTRUSTED US WITH DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS OVER THESE MEETINGS, again proving the value of this method over all others advertised.

THE ABOVE AMOUNTS HAVE BEEN PAID THIS SEASON TO ALL PATRONS WHO ENTRUSTED US WITH DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS OVER THESE MEETINGS, again proving the value of this method over all others advertised.

The past augurs well for the future, as the above successes testify. We personally attend EPSOM, and are always successful at this meeting.

The past looks promising for the future, as the successes mentioned above confirm. We personally attend EPSOM and are always successful at this event.

A LOSS HAS NEVER OCCURRED TO FOLLOWERS[338] OF OUR SYSTEM, and this season we are even more than ever confident of success.

A LOSS HAS NEVER OCCURRED TO FOLLOWERS[338] OF OUR SYSTEM, and this season we are more confident than ever about our success.

Cash reaching us on Thursday will be in time for two days’ investments; and cash arriving by Friday’s first post will be invested on Oaks winner and the last day of the meeting.

Cash arriving on Thursday will be ready for two days of investments; and cash that comes in by Friday's first mail will be invested in the Oaks winner and the last day of the meeting.

Five per cent. deducted from all winnings.

Five percent deducted from all winnings.

The Larger the Stake, the Greater Scope is Available
for Lucrative Speculation.
Loss of Stake is in all cases Guaranteed Against.

The larger the investment, the more chances there are for making a profit through speculation.
You are always safeguarded against losing your investment.

The opulent winnings realised weekly throughout the season cannot fail to convince systematic speculators that this system is the par excellence of all methods for winning large sums at each and every important race-gathering.

The extravagant winnings earned every week during the season will surely convince regular bettors that this system is the best of all methods for winning big amounts at every major race event.

Winnings and account of investments will be forwarded on Monday, May 29.

Winnings and investment account details will be sent on Monday, May 29.

Investors can have their winnings (less 5 per cent.) remitted by open cheque or bank notes, as preferred, by signifying their wishes on that point when remitting cash for investment.

Investors can have their winnings (after a 5 percent deduction) sent to them via open cheque or cash, depending on their preference, by indicating their choice when sending money for investment.

One trial is sufficient to prove to the most sceptical the value of this method over all others advertised. Gentlemen who have lost their money in the so-called winning modus swindles, or through following their own fancies, advice of puffing tipsters, newspaper selections, backing first favourites, jockeys’ mounts, or any other system, should give our infallible method a trial at the Epsom Meeting. Cash should be forwarded to reach us on or before Tuesday, addressed to Mr W. H. WALTER, 62 Jamaica-street, Glasgow. If after that date, address letters, &c., &c., W. H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Box 20, Post-office, Epsom, where due precaution has been taken for their safe delivery.

One trial is enough to convince even the most skeptical about the value of this method compared to all the others out there. Those who have lost money to so-called winning schemes or by following their own instincts, advice from so-called experts, newspaper picks, betting on favorites, jockeys’ rides, or any other system should give our foolproof method a shot at the Epsom Meeting. Please send cash to reach us by Tuesday, addressed to Mr. W. H. WALTER, 62 Jamaica Street, Glasgow. If it’s after that date, address letters, etc., to W. H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Box 20, Post-office, Epsom, where we’ve taken necessary precautions for safe delivery.

Cheques to be crossed, Bank, Newbury. Letters containing gold or notes to be registered. Scotch and Irish notes taken as cash. Stamps, 20s. 6d. to the pound. P.O. Orders in all cases to be made payable to W. H. WALTER, and drawn on the Post-office, Newbury, Berkshire.

Cheques should be crossed, Bank, Newbury. Letters containing gold or notes need to be registered. Scottish and Irish notes accepted as cash. Stamps, 20s. 6d. to the pound. Postal Orders in all cases should be made payable to W. H. WALTER, and drawn on the Post Office, Newbury, Berkshire.

*** The successes we achieve weekly, our social status on the Turf, the years we have been before the public, the fact of our being promoters of Discretionary Investments, our selecting Jack Spigot for City and Suburban, Vulcan for Lincoln Handicap, the Lamb for Grand National, Bothwell for Two Thousand, Mortemer (a place), Chester Cup, the Dwarf for Great Northern Handicap; Lord Hawthorn, Flying Dutchman’s Handicap; Stanley, Doncaster Handicap, with nearly every other winner at York and Doncaster, &c., prove the value of our information and the integrity and value of our system of backing Discretionary Investments.

*** The weekly successes we have, our social standing in the betting scene, the years we've been in the public eye, our role as promoters of Discretionary Investments, our choice of Jack Spigot for City and Suburban, Vulcan for Lincoln Handicap, the Lamb for Grand National, Bothwell for Two Thousand, Mortemer (a place), Chester Cup, the Dwarf for Great Northern Handicap; Lord Hawthorn, Flying Dutchman’s Handicap; Stanley, Doncaster Handicap, along with almost every other winner at York and Doncaster, etc., demonstrate the value of our insights and the reliability and worth of our system for backing Discretionary Investments.

[339]

[339]


THE

THE

KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR of Friday next (May 26), price 1s., will contain a Review of the Derby running, and the WINNER OF THE ASCOT STAKES, with some important notes anent ROYAL HUNT CUP and ST. LEGER, with selections and keys for all races at the Manchester, Scarborough, Winchester, West Drayton, and Wye Meetings. Notes on the Two Year Old Form of the Season, and a Bird’s-eye View of the Middle Park Plate, being particulars of Walter’s Visit to the Dark Two Year Olds at their Training Grounds. Terms:—Season, 21s.—Address orders and letters, W. H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Ravenscourt Park, Hammersmith, London, W.

KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR of next Friday (May 26), price 1s., will include a recap of the Derby race and the WINNER OF THE ASCOT STAKES, along with some important notes regarding the ROYAL HUNT CUP and ST. LEGER, featuring picks and details for all races at the Manchester, Scarborough, Winchester, West Drayton, and Wye Meetings. There will be notes on the Two Year Old Form of the Season and an overview of the Middle Park Plate, highlighting Walter’s Visit to the Dark Two Year Olds at their Training Grounds. Rates:—Season, 21s.—Send orders and letters to W. H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Ravenscourt Park, Hammersmith, London, W.

In thanking our Derby subscribers for their past support, we respectfully solicit a continuance of their favours on the above terms.

In thanking our Derby subscribers for their past support, we respectfully ask for their continued favor under the terms mentioned above.

The Private Telegraphic Key Book will be issued to Season Subscribers only in the course of a few days. Those that intend renewing their subscriptions should do so at once.

The Private Telegraphic Key Book will be sent to Season Subscribers only in the next few days. Those who plan to renew their subscriptions should do so immediately.

It must not be imagined that this advertisement was intended to obtain one large haul before the business was abandoned. With little alteration it ran for a very considerable time in many papers, and the expenses of advertising alone must have been enormous. For it is not to be expected that any blind credulity exhibited itself in the various publishing offices, and hard cash, and plenty of it, had to be expended before a line of Balliee & Walter’s was allowed to appear. It will be seen by what we have quoted that winnings and accounts of investments are promised on Monday, and in true business-like style every depositor received his envelope. With what feverish anxiety many must have torn open the enclosure! So many men, so many minds, says the proverb, and the ways of expressing wrath must have been various indeed. We are, however, not in a position to furnish any particulars as to how the news was received, it is enough to know what the information was. And, as may be guessed, it was not satisfactory. The circulars were always neatly constructed, and set forth with a regret that owing to a combination of untoward circumstances the hopes of the chief investor, “the man at the[340] post,” had been dashed, and for that week—always the first week of such an occurrence—matters had resulted disastrously. Then would follow a statement of account, in which it was shown that investments had been fortunate at the outset, that then they had changed, and that by placing too much money on an apparent certainty, so as to recover the losings, the whole bulk of the bank had departed, never to return. The sums received by Messrs Balliee & Walter were of course various, and according to the amount, so was the table arranged; but there was a great family likeness about them all, the principle being to show that the horses, when they did not win, were very close up, and so seconds, with now and again a third, were nearly always chosen! Thus one £10 stake for the Derby week of 1871—the week in which the advertisement given appears—was accounted for thus:—

It shouldn't be thought that this advertisement aimed to secure one big win before the business was shut down. With little change, it ran for quite a long time in numerous newspapers, and the advertising costs must have been huge. It's not reasonable to assume that any blind gullibility existed in the various publishing offices, and hard cash, lots of it, had to be spent before any line from Balliee & Walter was allowed to be published. As we've indicated, winnings and investment reports were promised on Monday, and in a genuinely business-like manner, every depositor received their envelope. Many must have torn open the envelope with desperate anxiety! “So many men, so many minds,” says the proverb, and the reactions of anger must have varied greatly. However, we can't provide specific details on how the news was received; it’s enough to know what the information was. And as you might guess, it wasn’t good. The circulars were always neatly laid out, expressing regret that due to a combination of unfortunate circumstances, the hopes of the chief investor, “the man at the [340] post,” had been crushed, and for that week—always the first week of such an event—things had turned out badly. Then would come a statement of account, showing that investments had been promising at first, then changed, and that by betting too much money on a seemingly sure thing to recover losses, the entire bank balance had disappeared for good. The amounts received by Messrs Balliee & Walter varied, and the table was arranged accordingly; but there was a striking similarity among them all, with the principle being to indicate that the horses, when they didn’t win, were very close behind, and so second places, with the occasional third, were almost always expected! Thus, one £10 bet for Derby week in 1871—the week in which the advertisement appeared—was justified so:—

Epsom, Tuesday, May 23. Won. Lost.
Trial Stakes, Manille, £0 10 0
Horton Stakes, Trident, 1 0 0
Maiden Plate, Queen Bee, 2 0 0
Rous Stakes, Banderolle, 0 10 0
Woodcote Stakes, Cremorne (11 to 8 on), £0 14 6
Wednesday.  
Bentinck Plate, Lady Atholstone, 0 10 0
Derby, King of the Forest, 1 0 0
Stanley Stakes, Hamilton, 2 0 0
Match, Lizzie Cowl (5 to 4 on), 0 8 0
Manor Stakes, Holdenby, 0 10 0
Town Plate, Banderolle, 1 0 0
Thursday.  
Glasgow Plate, Countryman (2 to 1 on), 0 5 0
High Level Handicap, Free Trade, 0 10 0
Two-year-old Stakes, Clotilde filly, 1 0 0
Tadworth Stakes, Manna, 2 0 0
  £1 7 6 £12 10 0

With five per cent. commission charged on the winnings, this left a balance £1, 3s. 912d. due to Messrs Balliee[341] & Walter, which it was hoped would be at once remitted. This was cruel, but crueller still was the statement, that had the stake been larger, affairs would have arranged themselves satisfactorily, as a great change took place at the close of Thursday and on Friday, and those whose banks lasted over the first run of ill-luck left off winners of large sums. With the demand for payment of balance came a request which, from its very coolness, must have staggered those who, being once victimised, could see through the swindle, though in very many instances—as if in corroboration of Mr Carlyle’s theory—it was complied with. This was a desire for a fresh trial, and positive security from loss was guaranteed. It is noticeable in the table given that by a judicious selection of races and horses the winnings were bound to be always low, as animals with odds on are selected, and that when stakes are lowest. When on the doubling principle the stake on the chosen winner would be inconveniently large a race was omitted. The returns made were necessarily various, but that given is an accurate representative of the system.

With a five percent commission taken from the winnings, this left a balance of £1, 3s. 912d. owed to Messrs Balliee[341] & Walter, which they hoped would be sent over immediately. This was harsh, but even harsher was the claim that if the stake had been larger, things would have settled nicely, as a significant change occurred at the end of Thursday and on Friday, and those whose funds lasted through the initial bad luck ended up winning large amounts. Along with the payment request for the balance came a demand that, due to its sheer audacity, must have shocked those who had already been swindled, although in many cases—as if confirming Mr. Carlyle’s theory—it was agreed to. This was a request for another trial, with a guarantee against loss. It’s worth noting in the table provided that by carefully choosing races and horses, the winnings were always kept low, as animals with favorable odds were picked, particularly when the stakes were minimal. When using the doubling principle, if the stake on the selected winner became uncomfortably large, a race was skipped. The returns were naturally varied, but the one given is a true representation of the system.

Balliee & Walter continued to flourish for a long time; but whether it was that they became individually greedy, whether newspaper proprietors became exorbitant in their demands on the spoil, or whether rivalry affected them, we know not, all we do know is that they committed a most openly outrageous act on a race-course, and the bubble at once burst. It may seem strange that anything discretionary-investment agents, who had been gradually becoming a byword and a reproach, could do would affect their position; but our duty is to record the fact, and not to allow it to be disputed on any theoretic grounds. If they had calmly continued to merely swindle, they might have advertised till now; but they outraged the sanctity of the British race-course, and were damned for all time, if not to all eternity. They had become possessed by some means or other of a hurdle-racer called Goodfellow, and two or[342] three weeks before one of the suburban gate-money meetings they made a match for him to run a race at it against a very moderate mare. Immediately this was done they circularised all customers, telling them to be sure and back Goodfellow, as he could not possibly lose, and stating that on account of very heavy investments already made, they could afford, as a favour to their clients, to return them double the odds which would be laid against Goodfellow on the day. In the Kingsclere Racing Circular, a weekly pamphlet issued by these honourable gentlemen, we find under date March 10, 1871, the following ingenious application. This, it has been since proved, brought heavy sums to the Ravenscourt Park exchequer, whence it was not allowed to depart, Messrs Balliee & Walter, like true and legitimate bookmakers, preferring to lay the 6 to 4’s against their own horse themselves, rather than that their patrons should be inconvenienced by having to take shorter prices from others:—

Balliee & Walter thrived for a long time; but whether it was due to their growing greed, the excessive demands of newspaper owners, or the impact of competition, we can't say. What we do know is that they committed an openly outrageous act at a racetrack, and their bubble burst immediately. It might seem odd that anything these notorious investment agents did could affect their standing; but our role is to report the fact without letting it get disputed on theoretical grounds. If they had simply continued their deceitful ways, they might still be promoting themselves today; but they violated the sacredness of British racing, and they were condemned forever, if not for eternity. Somehow, they ended up with a hurdle racer named Goodfellow, and a couple of weeks before one of the suburban gate-money meetings, they arranged for him to run against a pretty mediocre mare. Once this was set, they sent out circulars to all their clients, urging them to back Goodfellow, insisting he couldn't possibly lose, and claiming that due to significant investments already made, they could afford, as a favor to their clients, to offer double the odds against Goodfellow on race day. In the Kingsclere Racing Circular, a weekly pamphlet produced by these esteemed gentlemen, there’s an ingenious application dated March 10, 1871. It has since been proven that this brought in large sums to the Ravenscourt Park treasury, from which it was not allowed to leave. Messrs Balliee & Walter, like true and legitimate bookmakers, preferred to take the 6 to 4 bets against their own horse themselves rather than let their clients be inconvenienced by having to take shorter odds from others:—

CROYDON SPECIAL INVESTMENT.

CROYDON SPECIAL INVESTMENT.

The match—Goodfellow v. Harriett—will come off at Croydon on Tuesday next. It is simply a matter of putting the coin down and picking it up again. It is any odds on our horse, and as we wish our Subscribers to participate in this certainty, we will undertake to obtain for them 6 to 4 for all cash sent, which must reach Mr Walter, Ravenscourt Park, if possible by Monday evening, and not later than Tuesday’s first post. Gibson is sure to back Harriett for a 1000, and probably bring her favourite. The sole reason of us wishing Subscribers to allow us to invest for them, is to prevent them rushing on and spoiling the market, which will be to their interest as well as our own. We have engaged one of the cleverest cross country riders of the day to ride Goodfellow, and our horse never was so fit and well as at the present time. Daniels will have the mount of Harriett. Such a chance may not occur again throughout the season. Investors should speculate a £50 or £100 Bank. We cannot undertake to invest more than £300 for any one of our patrons.

The match—Goodfellow vs. Harriett—will take place in Croydon next Tuesday. It's just a matter of placing the bet and collecting the winnings. Our horse is the favorite, and since we want our Subscribers to share in this certainty, we will work to get them 6 to 4 for all cash sent, which should reach Mr. Walter at Ravenscourt Park by Monday evening at the latest, and definitely no later than Tuesday’s first post. Gibson is definitely going to bet on Harriett for a thousand, and he’ll likely bring her favorite. The reason we want Subscribers to let us handle their bets is to prevent them from jumping in and messing up the odds, which is in their best interest as well as ours. We’ve hired one of the best cross-country riders of the day to ride Goodfellow, and our horse has never been as fit and healthy as he is now. Daniels will ride Harriett. Such a chance may not come around again this season. Investors should consider putting in £50 or £100. We can’t handle investments of more than £300 for any one of our patrons.

By this means Balliee & Walter obtained from their purblind dupes a large amount of money with which to back Goodfellow, and of this they of course placed as much as they[343] could upon Harriett, the opposing candidate. In the race, if race so iniquitous a transaction can be called, the discretionary-investment horse was, as might have been expected, “pulled,” so that Balliee & Walter had all the money they received to the good, besides what they won from the unsuspecting by backing the animal they had pretended to oppose. This led to their gradually disappearing from the front pages of the newspapers, though they continued their business under an alias very successfully. Walter was eventually fined a hundred pounds at one of the metropolitan courts, under the Betting-House Act, 1853, for having carried on a part of his business at Hammersmith. It seems rather ludicrous that a man should have been fined for what he in reality never did. But lawyers and magistrates could not distinguish the difference between betting and only pretending to bet, so they fined Mr Walter just as they would have done if he had been a really honourable man, and had therefore deserved punishment.

By this means, Balliee & Walter tricked their naive victims into giving them a large sum of money to support Goodfellow, and they naturally put as much as they[343] could on Harriett, the rival candidate. In this scheme, if such an unethical act can even be called a race, the discretionary-investment horse was, as expected, “pulled,” allowing Balliee & Walter to keep all the money they received, plus what they won from the unsuspecting by betting on the horse they pretended to oppose. This caused them to gradually fade from the headlines, although they continued their business very successfully under an alias. Walter was eventually fined a hundred pounds at one of the city courts under the Betting-House Act of 1853 for conducting part of his business in Hammersmith. It seems quite ridiculous that a man was fined for something he never actually did. However, lawyers and magistrates couldn’t tell the difference between betting and merely pretending to bet, so they fined Mr. Walter just as they would have if he were a truly honorable man who actually deserved punishment.

From the discretionary-investment class of turf-swindler we will now pass on to another, quite as ingenious and very often as dangerous. A few years back, when opportunity served—that is, when the honest layer of odds was harassed by the police and driven from London, and when good men and bad were almost irremediably mixed up—a sharp rogue hit upon an idea for making the tipstering and private-advice business a means to quite a new phase of imposition. This was known among those who profited by it as “forcing the voucher,” and a very pretty little game it was while it lasted, though the profits of pioneers were of course considerably diminished as soon as ever the secret got wind, by the imitative faculty to which reference has been already made. Commencing, as usual, with small advertisements and large profits, forcers in time found themselves, by stress of competition, obliged to spend a good share of their hard earnings in specially-tempting invitations to those who would go any but the right way towards being[344] wealthy; or else to seek other courses. So in 1872 we find three or four firms occupying a large share of the papers, and giving forth promises without stint. Whether the original forcer was in any of these partnerships it is impossible to tell, as the names were, as a rule, fictitious, and often changed; but whether or not, it is certain that those who advertised heaviest drove all small thieves from the field, and so, two years back, the business, as far as we are concerned, was carried on chiefly by Adkins & Wood, Robert Danby & Co., Marshall & Grant, and James Rawlings & Co., who advertised quite separately, but whose notifications might very easily have been the work of one pen. We will therefore take Rawlings & Co. to represent the fraternity, and in their advertisement which appeared at the end of April 1872 will be found the peculiarities of all the others. This is it:—

From the group of shady investors, we’ll now move on to another category that’s just as clever and often just as risky. A few years ago, when the honest betting crowd was pressured by the police and pushed out of London, and when good and bad people were nearly impossible to distinguish, a clever trickster came up with a way to turn the tipster and private advice business into a whole new type of scam. Those who benefited from it called it “forcing the voucher,” and it was a pretty clever scheme while it lasted, although the original profits got significantly smaller once the word spread, thanks to people copying the idea. Starting off, like always, with small ads and big returns, eventually these scammers found they had to spend a big chunk of their hard-earned money on enticing offers to attract those who would take any route but the right one to get rich; or they had to find other ways to make money. So, in 1872, we see three or four companies taking up a lot of space in newspapers, making grand promises without holding back. It’s hard to say if the original trickster was involved in any of these firms, as they mostly used fake names that often changed; but regardless, it’s clear that those who advertised the most effectively pushed all the small-time crooks out of business, and two years ago, the market was largely controlled by Adkins & Wood, Robert Danby & Co., Marshall & Grant, and James Rawlings & Co., who advertised separately but whose notices could easily have all come from the same source. So, we’ll take Rawlings & Co. to represent the group, and in their ad that appeared at the end of April 1872, you can see the common traits shared by all the others. This is it:—

DIGBY GRAND sent to every season subscriber, and for a place at
6 to 1, to every reader of

DIGBY GRAND sent to every season subscriber, and for a spot at
6 to 1, to every reader of

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR.

THE TOP RACING NEWSLETTER.


Proprietors,
JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
65, YORK PLACE,
EDINBURGH.

Proprietors,
JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
65 YORK PLACE,
EDINBURGH.


Published by the Proprietors every Saturday, at their chief office, 65 York Place, Edinburgh.

Published by the owners every Saturday at their main office, 65 York Place, Edinburgh.


THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR still maintains its well-merited reputation as the only infallible and unerringly-successful winning guide, by the aid of which private backers can and do, week by week, realise hundreds of pounds with perfect safety over the principal races throughout the kingdom. The uninterrupted series of successes which have attended its vaticinations during past seasons have been gloriously crowned by the success of every special investment advised in its pages this season, as will be seen by the following list of winners already given:—

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR still holds its well-deserved reputation as the only reliable and consistently successful winning guide, which enables private bettors to earn hundreds of pounds safely week after week on the main races across the country. The continuous string of successes that have followed its predictions in previous seasons has been wonderfully topped off by the success of every special investment recommended in its pages this season, as will be shown by the following list of winners already provided:—

[345]

[345]

Race. Selection. Result. Price at which
clients were
put on.
Croydon Footman Won 15 to 1
Lincoln Handicap Guy Dayrell Won 20 to 1
Grand National Casse Tête Won 25 to 1
Nottingham Handicap Flurry Won 10 to 1
Great Warwick Handicap Cedric the Saxon Won 12 to 1
Warwick Grand Annual Snowstorm Won 7 to 1
Northamptonshire Stakes Messager Won 8 to 1
City and Suburban Digby Grand Won 25 to 1

Thus a £10 stake on each of our selections already made this season has now won the handsome sum £1,164 after deducting our commission of 5 per cent.

Thus a £10 bet on each of our picks made this season has now won the impressive amount of £1,164 after deducting our 5 percent commission.

If one statement of the above glorious triumph is untrue, we boldly invite our subscribers and clients to expose us in the fullest manner in the sporting papers. Promptitude, despatch, exactitude, and liberality, as in the past, will ever be our watchwords in the future.

If any part of this wonderful success story is false, we confidently invite our subscribers and clients to call us out in the sports news. Timeliness, efficiency, accuracy, and generosity, just like before, will always be our guiding principles moving forward.

Every reader of “The Sporting Life” is earnestly invited to send at once for this week’s number, as the information therein contained will enable everyone to win a little fortune over that splendid and highly lucrative mode of investment—

Every reader of “The Sporting Life” is strongly encouraged to request this week’s issue right away, as the information inside will help everyone make a nice profit from that fantastic and very profitable way of investment

A DOUBLE EVENT
That cannot be upset.
The positive Winners of
THE TWO THOUSAND
and
ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS.

A DOUBLE EVENT
That can’t be overturned.
The definite Winners of
THE TWO THOUSAND
and
ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS.

It is rarely that we advise this method of investing, but when we have sent out to our clients a double event it has never failed to come off. Last year we advised a double event for these races—

It’s not often that we recommend this investment method, but whenever we’ve sent our clients a double event, it has always been successful. Last year, we suggested a double event for these races—

Two Thousand Bothwell Won
One Thousand Hannah Won

And this year both our selections are, if possible, greater and more undeniable certainties.

And this year, both of our choices are, if anything, even greater and more undeniable certainties.

THE TWO THOUSAND GUINEAS.

THE TWO THOUSAND GUINEAS.

Of all the good things that in the course of a long and varied experience on the Turf it has ever been our good fortune to be possessed of, we cannot recall a single occasion on which every attendant circumstance combined so surely to render, as in the present instance, the race such an absolute foregone conclusion for our selection. The trial which took place this week was unprecedented in its severity, and, to the[346] surprise of owner and trainer, the animal performed so far beyond their most sanguine expectations or hopes as to show them that success is reduced to the greatest moral certainty ever known in the history of the English Turf. This is an opportunity similar to those that have made the fortunes of many of our most wealthy speculators, for whom, as in the present instance, victory is a foregone conclusion and defeat a moral impossibility. Everyone should seize the opportunity of reaping the rich harvest of golden fruit that awaits the bold speculator of foregone conclusions like this.

Of all the great experiences we've had on the Turf, we can't think of a single moment when every factor came together as clearly as it has in this case, making our choice for the race feel like a sure thing. The trial that happened this week was unlike anything we've seen before in terms of intensity, and to the surprise of the owner and trainer, the horse performed way beyond their highest hopes, showing that success is now virtually guaranteed in the history of English horse racing. This is a chance like those that have created wealth for many of our richest investors, where, just like now, winning seems certain and losing seems impossible. Everyone should take this chance to enjoy the substantial rewards that await those who dare to bet on obvious outcomes like this.

THE ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS.

THE ONE THOUSAND POUNDS.

It is to us an easy task to select the winner of this race, as the immense superiority she enjoys over every other animal engaged (known only to owner, trainer, and ourselves) is so vast that this race will be little more than an exercise canter for this speedy filly. So quietly has this good thing been nursed by the shrewd division to which the mare belongs, that a real good price is now to be had, though when this superb specimen of an English thoroughbred is seen at the post, we are confident that even money will be eagerly snapped up by those who till then neglect to back her.

It’s pretty easy for us to pick the winner of this race, since the huge advantage she has over every other horse in the race (known only to the owner, trainer, and us) is so considerable that this race will be more like a casual jog for this fast filly. This great opportunity has been kept so quietly by the clever group that the mare is part of, that a really good price is now available, although when this amazing English thoroughbred is at the starting line, we’re sure that even money will be quickly grabbed by those who have so far chosen not to bet on her.

THE DOUBLE EVENT,

THE DOUBLE EVENT,

as stated above, is as sure to come off as these lines are in print. Send then at once for this week’s number, and do not delay an hour if you wish to land a fortune over these two genuine certainties.

as stated above, is just as certain to happen as these lines are in print. Send for this week’s issue right away, and don’t wait even an hour if you want to strike it rich with these two real certainties.

We could wish no better opportunity to display the genuine good things sent out by the “Premier Racing Circular” than these two races present, and we beg that everyone will at once send six stamps and stamped addressed envelope for this week’s number, and stand these morals to win them a fortune.

We couldn’t ask for a better chance to showcase the real good things offered by the “Premier Racing Circular” than these two races. We kindly ask that everyone sends six stamps and a stamped addressed envelope for this week’s issue right away, and let’s aim to win some money with these bets.

Address—
JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
65, York Place,
Edinburgh.

Location—
JAMES RAWLINGS & Co.,
65 York Place,
Edinburgh.

If we were not certain that these men got large sums of money from willing victims, it would seem almost impossible that people could be found credulous enough to believe that absolute certainty could be secured on the turf. Certainty of losing is naturally much easier than certainty of winning, and yet even loss cannot be reduced to less than imminent probability so long as a horse goes to the post[347] unphysicked, and the jockey is not allowed to openly pull him. And so, though no one will attempt to defend Messrs Rawlings & Co., their dupes deserve but the smallest amount of pity; for even the most foolish of them must have known that certainty of winning to them must have meant certainty of losing to the other side, and that therefore, even if the contract had been carried out, somebody must have been swindled. If it were not for the greed and avarice which mainly direct the actions of those who are generally known as fools, magsmen, sharpers, discretionary-investment commissioners, and voucher-forcers would have to take to honest employment. This may seem a truism, yet when a skittle-sharper or “street-mugger” is tried in a police court, and convicted for having victimised a “flat,” it never seems to strike the magistrate or the general public that the prisoner simply swindled a man who had all the will but not the ability to swindle him. And there can be no reasonable doubt—we should much like to see the matter tried—that the principal supports of rogues are the most grasping, selfish, and hard-hearted of mortals, and not at all the soft, good-natured bumpkins that they are generally depicted. We should not like to trust to either the honour or the honesty of any man who had been concerned even as a victim in one of the transactions which now and again appear in the police reports; and if we had any sympathy, which is not very likely, to bestow on either side, it would certainly be given to the man who gets sent to prison.

If we weren't sure that these guys got large amounts of money from willing victims, it would seem almost impossible that there are people gullible enough to believe that absolute certainty could be achieved in gambling. It’s naturally much easier to be certain about losing than winning, yet even loss can’t be minimized to less than likely probability as long as a horse goes to the starting line healthy, and the jockey isn’t allowed to cheat openly. So, while no one would defend Messrs Rawlings & Co., their victims deserve only a tiny bit of sympathy; because even the most foolish among them must have understood that their certainty of winning meant someone else’s certainty of losing, which means that even if the deal had gone through, someone would have been cheated. If it weren't for the greed and selfishness that mainly motivate those often labeled as fools, con artists, swindlers, investment scammers, and hustlers would have to find honest work. This might seem obvious, but when a con artist or street thief is tried in court and convicted for scamming a “mark,” it rarely occurs to the judge or the public that the accused simply tricked someone who was all too eager to cheat but lacked the skill to pull it off. And there’s no reasonable doubt—we would love to see this explored—that the main supporters of con artists are the most greedy, selfish, and cold-hearted individuals, not at all the soft-hearted, good-natured fools they’re usually thought to be. We definitely wouldn’t trust the integrity or honesty of anyone who had even been a victim in one of those incidents that occasionally make it into police reports; and if we had any sympathy, which is unlikely, it would certainly go to the person sent to prison.

Rawlings & Co. seem to have managed the spring campaign of 1872 very successfully, for while other members of the same brotherhood had to drop out of the papers or to appear in new guise after April, we find our heroes still merrily addressing the public from the front page of the sporting papers of June 8, and as able to guarantee freedom from loss as ever. And though it may not seem long from the end to April to this early part of June, it must be recollected that within that space several very important[348] meetings are held, and that dismal gaps are found in the ranks of both “wrong” and “right” men after a Derby, especially after such a Derby as Cremorne’s, which found out the weak spots in a good many big books, and altered the prospects of many a turfite, professional and amateur. So finding Rawlings so well through, we were tempted at the time to communicate with him, and discover the principle upon which he “forced the voucher.” Here is his advertisement of June 8, in which he glories in past triumphs and feels confident of future successes:—

Rawlings & Co. seem to have handled the spring campaign of 1872 very successfully, because while other members of the same group had to drop out of the news or show up in a different way after April, our heroes are still cheerfully addressing the public on the front page of the sporting papers from June 8, and they are still able to guarantee freedom from loss. And even though it doesn't seem like much time has passed from the end of April to this early part of June, it's important to remember that several significant meetings take place during that time, and there are noticeable gaps in the ranks of both "wrong" and "right" men after a Derby, especially following a Derby like Cremorne’s, which exposed the weak points in many big books and changed the outlook for many turfites, both professional and amateur. So, seeing Rawlings doing so well, we were tempted at the time to reach out to him and learn the principle behind how he "forced the voucher." Here is his advertisement from June 8, where he takes pride in past triumphs and feels confident about future successes:—

CREMORNE, QUEEN’S MESSENGER, AND REINE.

Cremorne, Queen's Messenger, and Reine.

JAMES RAWLINGS and Co., the oldest established Turf advisers in Great Britain; proprietors of

JAMES RAWLINGS and Co., the longest-running Turf advisors in Great Britain; owners of

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR,

THE LEADING RACING MAGAZINE,

the most successful winning guide extant.

the most successful winning guide in existence.


THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR, selected Cremorne and Reine.

THe PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR, selected Cremorne and Reine.


THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR of this day contains three certainties.

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR of this day contains three certainties.


THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR’S selections pulled off the double event for the Derby and Oaks, likewise Queen’s Messenger for a place at 4 to 1.

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR’S selections pulled off the double event for the Derby and Oaks, and Queen’s Messenger secured a spot at 4 to 1.


THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR has this season selected each and every important winner, as may be seen by referring to back numbers of this publication, invaluable alike to large and small speculators. The proprietors beg respectfully to draw the attention of that section of the public who have neglected to take advantage of the opportunities that they have, for the past three months, weekly drawn attention to in the columns of this and other journals, that this week’s number of the Premier Racing Circular will contain three of the greatest morals and most undeniable certainties ever known in this or any other era of the Turf’s history, namely, the winner of

THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR has this season highlighted every major winner, as you can see by checking past issues of this publication, which are invaluable for both big and small bettors. The owners would like to kindly remind those members of the public who have overlooked the opportunities we've pointed out for the last three months in this and other papers, that this week’s issue of the Premier Racing Circular will feature three of the most reliable predictions and certain winners ever recognized in the history of horse racing, specifically, the winner of

THE ASCOT STAKES,

THE ASCOT STAKES,

a real good thing, at a real good price. Over this race any gentleman may safely invest as heavily as he may think fit, as we know that our selection cannot be beaten; the course is peculiarly adapted to the animal’s action, and the stable have satisfied themselves, past question[349] or doubt, that he possesses both speed and stamina to land this event with the utmost ease.

a really good opportunity, at a really good price. In this race, any gentleman can confidently invest as much as he believes appropriate, knowing that our choice can't be beaten; the course is perfectly suited to the horse’s movement, and the stable has confirmed, beyond any question[349] or doubt, that he has both the speed and stamina to win this event with complete ease.

THE ROYAL HUNT CUP

The Royal Hunt Cup

is equally a certainty for a veritable flyer, whose merits have hitherto been so cleverly concealed by the owner, that the handicapper has no idea of his sterling excellence. He is undergoing a special preparation for this race, the best light-weight in the world will be in the saddle, and a long price is now to be had.

is also definitely the case for a true standout, whose qualities have been so skillfully hidden by the owner that the handicapper has no clue about his impressive talent. He is getting special training for this race, the best lightweight rider in the world will be on board, and a high payout can currently be anticipated.

THE NORTHUMBERLAND PLATE.

THE NORTHUMBERLAND PLATE.

We have never yet missed selecting the winner of this race, and as the cleverest division on the Turf, as to whose movements we are always au fait, have specially laid themselves out to secure this prize, the public may rely upon it that, as in past years, we shall again select the winner.

We have never missed picking the winner of this race, and since the smartest group on the Turf, whose actions we always know about, has specifically aimed to win this prize, the public can trust that, just like in previous years, we will choose the winner again.

This week’s number contains full particulars of these undeniable and gold-producing morals, in addition to a mass of other information invaluable to backers. No one should invest a shilling on any one of the above races without first forwarding us six stamps and stamped directed envelope for this week’s issue.

This week’s issue includes complete details on these undeniable and profitable morals, along with a wealth of other essential information for investors. No one should put any money into any of the races mentioned above without first sending us six stamps and a stamped, addressed envelope for this week’s issue.

Address—
JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
65, York Place,
Edinburgh.

Address—
JAMES RAWLINGS & Co.,
65 York Place,
Edinburgh.

Six stamps and a stamped directed envelope were accordingly sent, and in return we received a copy of the Premier Racing Circular, dated June 6, which was full of congratulations, and which promised far more than even the advertisements did. One paragraph in it was specially worthy of attention. It ran thus: “We have several commissions still unsettled over the Derby and Oaks. Gentlemen holding winning vouchers will please send them in at once.” What could be more fair, honourable, and straightforward than this; and who would think of suspecting Rawlings of unfair dealing? Yet, at the very time the invitation we have quoted appeared, the people who sent in their winning vouchers received in return, not money, but the following circular, which we reprint exactly, and which, with the alteration of the signature and the name of the meeting, will do for any firm and any week’s racing[350] the reader may choose. This is one of a lot we have collected at times from many victims:—

Six stamps and a stamped envelope were sent, and in return we received a copy of the Premier Racing Circular, dated June 6, which was filled with congratulations and promised even more than the ads did. One paragraph stood out: “We have several outstanding commissions from the Derby and Oaks. Gentlemen with winning vouchers, please send them in right away.” What could be more fair, honorable, and straightforward than this? Who would suspect Rawlings of wrongdoing? Yet, at the same time the quoted invitation was published, the people who submitted their winning vouchers received not money but the following circular, which we are reprinting exactly. With just a change of the signature and the name of the event, it could apply to any firm and any week’s racing[350] that the reader chooses. This is one of many we've gathered over time from numerous victims:—

65 York Place, Edinburgh.

65 York Place, Edinburgh.

SIR,

SIR,

We regret to inform you that, in consequence of some of our important Accounts not having been settled at Epsom this week, we must unavoidably postpone the settlement. This is the first time that such an unpleasantness has occurred, but we can assure you that we have done all in our power in the matter. No one regrets this unfortunate affair more than ourselves, after serving the public so faithfully for such a number of years, and all we can do is to remit you immediately we receive winnings from the temporarily embarrassed Commissioners.

We’re sorry to let you know that, because some of our important Accounts haven’t been settled at Epsom this week, we unfortunately have to postpone the settlement. This is the first time anything like this has happened, but we assure you that we’ve done everything we can to resolve the issue. No one regrets this unfortunate situation more than we do, especially after serving the public so faithfully for so many years. All we can do is send you your winnings as soon as we receive them from the temporarily struggling Commissioners.

Meanwhile, We remain,
Yours faithfully,
JAMES RAWLINGS & CO.

In the meantime, we are here,
Best regards,
JAMES RAWLINGS & CO.

There is no boast in the statement, that when we received the Premier Racing Circular, we were pretty well acquainted with the manner in which Rawlings conducted his business—it would be a poor thing to boast about—and so we turned to the envelope to look for the vouchers we knew would be there. And there they were, enclosed in a piece of paper, on which was the information, that owing to the large sums they had invested when the horses were at long shots, they could afford to return odds considerably over the current market; and winding up with a request that intending backers would at once forward the amounts for which the vouchers were filled in, or any part of it which would suit them. Yes, there they were, three in number, looking like cheques—the first, No. 32,323, being for the Ascot Stakes, and bearing the bet of £200 to £10 against Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes. The second was numbered 36,162, and said £300 to £10 Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup; and the third was 39,346, and was to the tune of £400 to £20 Minerve for the Northumberland Plate. And this is the advice with regard to them, given in the Circular, without the alteration of even a letter:—

There’s no bragging in saying that when we got the Premier Racing Circular, we were pretty familiar with how Rawlings ran his business—definitely not something to boast about—so we looked at the envelope to find the vouchers we knew would be inside. And sure enough, they were there, wrapped in a piece of paper that explained that because of the large amounts they had invested when the horses were long shots, they could afford to return odds that were significantly better than the current market. They wrapped it up with a request for backers to send over the amounts indicated on the vouchers immediately, or any portion they felt comfortable with. Yes, there were three of them, looking like cheques—the first, No. 32,323, was for the Ascot Stakes, with a bet of £200 to £10 against Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes. The second was numbered 36,162, showing £300 to £10 on Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup; and the third was No. 39,346, amounting to £400 to £20 on Minerve for the Northumberland Plate. And this is the advice regarding them, given in the Circular, without changing a single letter:—

[351]

[351]

THE PITCHFORK, PALMERSTON, AND MINERVE COMMISSION

THE PITCHFORK, PALMERSTON, AND MINERVE COMMISSION

We have been able to work the Commission (Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve), at an unusual liberal price, and we herewith offer for your acceptance, as per enclosed vouchers, the very advantageous bets about these absolute morals. Should you accept the whole (which we strongly recommend), you will please forward stake money by return and retain vouchers; if only a portion, return same, with stake money, and a corrected voucher to amount of stake will be at once forwarded to you. In the remote contingency of your not accepting any portion of either bet, you will please return vouchers without a moment’s delay, that we may have an opportunity of offering the bets to other clients.

We’ve managed to work with the Commission (Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve) at a surprisingly good price, and we’re presenting you with the enclosed vouchers for some very beneficial bets related to these absolute morals. If you decide to take the whole offer (which we highly recommend), please send back the stake money and keep the vouchers; if you only want part of it, return the same along with the stake money, and we'll quickly send you a revised voucher for the stake amount. In the unlikely event that you choose not to accept any part of either bet, please return the vouchers immediately so that we can offer them to other clients.

Those who wish to back Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve for a place, can be on at one-fourth the odds, but to no greater amount than a £50 stake.

Those who want to support Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve for a spot can do so at one-fourth the odds, but not for more than a £50 stake.

The secret of forcing the voucher, therefore, lay in the fact of offering far longer prices than could be obtained of any one who intended to pay when the races were over; for on June 6th, 1872, the day on which the vouchers were drawn, the market prices, as quoted in the papers Mr Rawlings advertised in, were 10 to 1 against Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes; 15 to 1 against Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup; and 10 to 1 against Minerve for the Northumberland Plate. Now as double the fair price is offered, and as the quoted market represents the odds which are laid at the chief clubs by the chief men, who can say that the victims of Rawlings deserve pity? The ability of Rawlings & Co. as tipsters is strangely shown in this transaction. In their circular, Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve are their selections for the several races, even to people who only accepted their advice and did not intrust them with commissions. They assert that they have positive information that these horses cannot lose. Under the head of “Royal Hunt Cup,” and perfectly independent of anything but the private-advice department, they say, in reference to Pitchfork: “This is a ‘Woodyeates moral,’ and all must be on. Every now and then this influential coterie throws in for a[352] fortune, and when they do, the good thing invariably comes off. We have never missed the winner of this race, and now, with all confidence, we assure every client that no better opportunity could possibly occur of landing a rich and substantial stake. Some of our clients will neglect the opportunities we frequently lay before them; but on this occasion as the price is so liberal, we do heartily hope that one and all will go in for a rattling good stake.” Then about Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes, they tell us that “previous to the great Epsom event, Palmerston performed such a wonderful feat with the Brother to Flurry as to show the stable that the Ascot Stakes were completely at their mercy. Mr Payne and the owners who train at Fyfield look upon defeat as impossible, and will stand their horses to win a very large stake. We cannot recollect a more genuine investment, and must urge all to stand this moral freely.” For the Northumberland Plate they are, if anything, still more confident, their article on it containing this: “Another triumph awaits the French contingent in the Northumberland Plate, as Minerve, own sister to Miss Hervine, is certain to carry off this event.” Rawlings’s prophecies might have turned out right if they had had a chance, but he does not seem to have possessed even a hint as to what would be started for the various stables, for not one of the three selected ever saw the course on which victory was to be so easily obtained. What sorry rogues make fortunes nowadays! It is more than likely that Rawlings, or whatever this trickster’s name was, like his own selections on this particular occasion, had never seen a race-course. Strange as this may seem, it is not at all improbable; for there are lots of men who live by the turf, and who are as conversant with pedigrees and performances of horses as can be, yet who know nothing beyond what they see on paper, and who, authorities on racing when in Fleet Street, would be quite nonplussed if taken to Newmarket among the horses whose names they know so well.

The secret to manipulating the betting slips was simply offering prices that were much higher than anyone would realistically pay after the races finished. On June 6th, 1872, the day the slips were drawn, the market prices listed in the papers where Mr. Rawlings advertised were 10 to 1 against Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes, 15 to 1 against Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup, and 10 to 1 against Minerve for the Northumberland Plate. Since Rawlings offered double the fair price, and the quoted market reflects the odds set by the main clubs and their top members, who can truly feel sorry for Rawlings's victims? Rawlings & Co.'s skills as tipsters are oddly highlighted in this scenario. In their circular, they named Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve as their picks for the different races, even for clients who only took their advice and didn’t give them any commissions to place bets. They claimed to have solid information that these horses were certain to win. Under the section for the “Royal Hunt Cup,” and completely separate from their private advice, they stated about Pitchfork: “This is a ‘Woodyeates moral,’ and everyone must bet on it. From time to time, this influential group throws in for a fortune, and when they do, the investment always pays off. We’ve never missed the winner of this race, and now, with great confidence, we assure all our clients that no better chance for scoring big has ever presented itself. Some of our clients might miss the opportunities we regularly present, but this time, since the odds are so good, we sincerely hope that everyone will go all in for a substantial bet.” Then about Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes, they inform us that “before the big Epsom event, Palmerston achieved such an impressive feat alongside the Brother to Flurry that it showed the stable they had the Ascot Stakes completely in their control. Mr. Payne and the owners training at Fyfield view defeat as impossible and are prepared to bet heavily on their horses.” They can’t recall a more solid investment and strongly encourage everyone to place their bets confidently. For the Northumberland Plate, they seem even more sure, stating: “Another victory is expected for the French horses in the Northumberland Plate, as Minerve, sister to Miss Hervine, is guaranteed to win this event.” Rawlings’s predictions could have been correct if he had had a chance, but he didn’t seem to have a clue about which horses would actually be entered in the various races, as none of the three he picked ever showed up on the track where victory was supposedly so easy. What pathetic frauds are making fortunes today! It’s highly likely that Rawlings, or whatever this con artist’s name was, like his chosen horses in this instance, had never seen a racecourse. As odd as that sounds, it’s entirely plausible; there are many individuals involved in horse racing who are as knowledgeable about bloodlines and horse performances as possible, yet know nothing beyond what they read on paper, and who, while being racing experts in their hometown, would be completely bewildered if taken to Newmarket among the horses they recognize so well.

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We trust we have now made plain the two greatest swindles in connection with the turf, and at the same time shown the unworthiness of even the pretence to knowledge made by them. But we have no wish that readers, forgetting the scamps with whom we set out, shall conclude this chapter with the impression that there are no thieves so bad as sporting thieves, and so we will fall back on some swindling advertisements of the general kind, from the general papers, which are not only as roguish, but as ignorant of the subjects selected as the effusions of Rawlings himself. Here is one from the Weekly Times of a couple of years or so back:—

We hope we've clearly explained the two biggest scams related to horse racing, and at the same time, shown how unworthy their claims to knowledge are. However, we don't want readers to finish this chapter thinking that there are no thieves worse than those involved in sports, so we’ll shift our focus to some deceitful advertisements of a more general nature from mainstream papers, which are just as shady and just as uninformed about their subjects as Rawlings himself. Here’s one from the Weekly Times from a couple of years ago:—

WONDERS OF THE HOROSCOPE.—Any person sending an addressed envelope, age, height, colour of hair and eyes, together with 13 stamps, will receive within 24 hours a correct likeness of their future husband or wife, and date of marriage.—Address, A. Wemyss, 2, Drake-street, Red Lion-square, London.

WONDERS OF THE HOROSCOPE.—Anyone who sends an addressed envelope with their age, height, hair color, and eye color, along with 13 stamps, will receive a true likeness of their future spouse and the date of their marriage within 24 hours.—Address: A. Wemyss, 2, Drake Street, Red Lion Square, London.

We don’t mind giving Mr Wemyss—what an aristocratic name, by the way!—a gratuitous advertisement, though we hope that the first customer he gets through our instrumentality will be the reverse of profitable. Wemyss can do better still at a better price, as other advertisements show. He is a milder form of rascal than Methralton, who makes offer as follows in several of the weekly papers, and who is not content with his effect on the mind, but actually wishes to interfere with the matter:—

We don't mind giving Mr. Wemyss—what an aristocratic name, by the way!—a free advertisement, though we hope that the first customer he gets through our efforts will not be profitable at all. Wemyss can do better for a better price, as other ads indicate. He’s a milder kind of scoundrel than Methralton, who makes offers in several weekly papers and isn't satisfied with just influencing thoughts; he actually wants to meddle with the matter:—

WONDROUS ARTS.—Your future revealed—Seven years, six stamps; lifetime twelve stamps. State age. Love Charm, sixteen stamps. Medicine for removing Gravel and Private diseases in a few days, without injuring the constitution, sixty stamps. Methralton’s Bible Key, twenty-six stamps. Book of Spirits, 408 pages, thirty-two stamps. Millennial Prophecies, Gratis. Methralton, the Seer, Daventry.

WWONDERFUL Creative Arts.—Your future is revealed—Seven years, six stamps; lifetime twelve stamps. State your age. Love Charm, sixteen stamps. Medicine for removing gravel and private diseases in a few days, without harming your health, sixty stamps. Methralton’s Bible Key, twenty-six stamps. Book of Spirits, 408 pages, thirty-two stamps. Millennial Prophecies, Free. Methralton, the Seer, Daventry.

Another kind of scoundrel, whose victims are like those of the home-employment robbers, mostly poor helpless girls, and whose villany is far greater than that of the discreet[354] Walter or the forcible Rawlings, is the fellow who advertises constantly for actors and actresses, who may be perfectly inexperienced, but who are to get salaried engagements through his influence. His form varies, but this is one of his concoctions, and is from the Daily Telegraph:—

Another type of scoundrel, whose victims are similar to those of the home-employment thieves, mostly vulnerable young women, and whose wrongdoing is much worse than that of the discreet[354] Walter or the forceful Rawlings, is the guy who constantly advertises for actors and actresses. These individuals may be completely inexperienced, but he claims he can secure them paid jobs through his connections. His approach changes, but here's one of his schemes, taken from the Daily Telegraph:—

THE STAGE.—WANTED, TWELVE LADIES and GENTLEMEN (ages 16 to 40) for salaried engagements. Totally inexperienced persons may apply.—Communicate, by letter only, enclosing photograph and thirteen stamps, Histrionicus ——.

THe STAGE.—WANTED, TWELVE LADIES and GENTLEMEN (ages 16 to 40) for paid positions. No experience necessary—Please send a letter only, including a photo and thirteen stamps, Histrionicus ——.

This is either a swindle on the girls, or else on the members of the British public who pay their money to see acting. It is rumoured that now and again women moving in a certain hemisphere give large sums for the purpose of appearing on the stage. This may be, but we fancy the managers are quite shrewd enough not to let outsiders like the advertiser, Histrionicus, interfere in such delicate matters. It might be as well to ask why the “promotion in absentiâ” dodges are still allowed to parade themselves in the leading papers, or in fact why people should be permitted to take upon themselves titles they have no right to. Possibly the matter is thought too ridiculous to call for interference, but there are other qualities besides those of ridicule and contempt to be found in connection with the following, which is an advertisement having no particularly distinctive features, and therefore will represent the thousands of the same order that appear during the year, and for payment of which a considerable number of spurious degrees must be manufactured:—

This is either a scam against the women, or it's a trick on the British public who pay to see performances. There are rumors that occasionally, women in a certain circle pay large sums just to appear on stage. That may be true, but we believe the managers are smart enough not to let outsiders like the advertiser, Histrionicus, meddle in such sensitive issues. It might be worth asking why the “promotion in absentiâ” tactics are still allowed to be showcased in the major newspapers, or why people can take on titles they don't deserve. Maybe the whole thing is considered too silly to warrant interference, but there are other aspects beyond just ridicule and disrespect connected to the following, which is an ad that doesn't have any particularly unique features and thus represents the thousands of similar ones that show up throughout the year, for which a large number of fake degrees must be made:—

PROMOTION IN ABSENTIÂ.—Qualified surgeons, chemists, dentists, oculists, chiropodists, and professors of music or arts aspiring to a doctor’s degree, may communicate by letter to Professor ——.

PPROMOTION IN ABSENTIÂ.—Qualified surgeons, chemists, dentists, eye doctors, podiatrists, and music or art professors who are looking to earn a doctor’s degree can get in touch by letter with Professor ----.

Qualified, forsooth! why, any one who liked to pay could obtain the most honourable degree for the biggest idiot in Earlswood Asylum. One of the chief difficulties to be encountered over such a bad business as this is that the[355] good and the sham degree holders very often get irretrievably mixed up in certain phases of society. Physicians, surgeons, and gentlemen in similar position are protected, and so little dealing is done in medical, surgical, or chemical degrees; but bachelors and masters of arts and doctors of laws are made by the score, the recipients of honours being in a majority of cases men whose ignorance must be probed before it is appreciated, but whose depth requires no delving whatever. Now, when a man of this kind elects to call himself doctor, or puts B.A. or M.A. after his name, even those who know what little right he has to the degree are hardly quixotic enough to decline giving him the title he covets; so in a year or so, Dr Brown or Dr Jones has as firm a hold upon his title as if he had obtained it by a personal examination under the most rigorous system; and strangers who are unable to discover for themselves the unworthiness of the pretender, give him all the honours which belong to the learned. Sometimes the applicant swindles the professor, and we not long back heard of an aspiring youth who paid for the degrees of M.A. and LL.D. with a cheque and a bill, each being for £20, and both being dishonoured. It is a pity that these two scamps cannot be treated to three months in the House of Correction, just to encourage all other professors and practisers of small and paltry swindles.

Qualified, really! Anyone willing to pay could get the most respected degree in Earlswood Asylum for the biggest idiot out there. One of the main challenges with a situation this bad is that legitimate and fake degree holders often get hopelessly mixed up in certain parts of society. Physicians, surgeons, and professionals in similar fields are protected, and there’s not much trading of medical, surgical, or chemical degrees; but bachelor’s and master’s degrees and law doctors are handed out by the dozen, with most of the recipients being people whose ignorance needs to be tested before it’s recognized, yet whose lack of knowledge doesn’t require any probing. Now, when someone like this decides to call themselves a doctor or puts B.A. or M.A. after their name, even those who know how little right they have to that title aren’t usually idealistic enough to refuse to recognize it; so in a year or so, Dr. Brown or Dr. Jones has as strong a claim to their title as if they earned it through a strict examination process. And outsiders who can’t see the pretender’s unworthiness give them all the respect that belongs to the educated. Sometimes the applicant even scams the professor; recently, we heard about a young man who paid for M.A. and LL.D. degrees with a check and a bill, each for £20, both of which bounced. It’s a shame these two con artists can’t be sentenced to three months in the House of Correction, just to set an example for other professors and practitioners of small-time scams.

There is yet another kind of rogue for whom we have room, who addresses his victims by means of advertisements. This is the sorrowful Christian, who makes the profession of religion his stock-in-trade, and finds it profitable. Under the guise of sanctity there is hardly anything at which he will stick—he is the foulest and nastiest of all the foul and nasty birds who have supplied material for this chapter. He is as great an impostor in his pretences as any of the other swindlers are in theirs, and so it would be just as fair to blame religion for the existence of the sanctimonious scoundrel, or commerce for the home-employment[356] agent, as it is to blame racing for the welcher and the forcer. Here is a sample of the whining and despicable hound, compared with whom, to our taste, the ordinary pickpocket is a gentleman:—

There’s another type of con artist we need to acknowledge, someone who reaches out to their victims through advertisements. This is the sorrowful Christian, who uses his religion as a way to make money. Behind the mask of piety, he’s willing to do anything—he's the filthiest and most despicable of all the unsavory characters discussed in this chapter. His deceit is on par with that of any other scammer, so it’s just as reasonable to blame religion for the existence of the self-righteous fraud as it is to blame commerce for the home-employment agent, or to blame racing for the cheater and the swindler. Here’s an example of this whiny and loathsome creature; compared to him, we would consider an ordinary pickpocket to be a true gentleman:—

TO THE LORD’S PEOPLE.—A dear Christian tradesman, who about four months ago drew from the Savings’ Bank £60, his all therein, to give to a fellow Christian who urgently required that sum, “thus lending and hoping for nothing again” but from a bountiful “God whose name is Love,” is now in WANT OF FORTY POUNDS to pay all demands upon him, ere he accepts a call to the ministry of the Everlasting Gospel, which he believes his Heavenly Father is about to make known unto him. A lady, his friend in Christ the Lord as revealed, in the power of God the Holy Ghost, thus ventures in simple faith to try the door of Providence in his behalf; and would leave the issue in the hands of Him who has heart, hand, breath and purse of men at sovereign command. The smallest help will be gratefully acknowledged by the Advertiser. Address to ——.

TO THE LORD’S PEOPLE.—A dear Christian tradesman, who about four months ago took out £60 from the Savings Bank, his entire savings, to give to a fellow Christian in urgent need of that amount, “thus lending and expecting nothing in return” except from a generous “God whose name is Love,” is now in NEED OF FORTY POUNDS to cover all his expenses before he accepts a call to the ministry of the Everlasting Gospel, which he believes his Heavenly Father is about to reveal to him. A lady, his friend in Christ, acting in the power of God the Holy Spirit, is stepping out in simple faith to seek help on his behalf, trusting the outcome to Him who has the hearts, hands, lives, and finances of people under His control. Any assistance, no matter how small, will be sincerely appreciated by the Advertiser. Please address to ——.

If this is not blasphemy, what is it? Imagine the greasy smirk of satisfaction with which the coin of the faithful was received and divided between the dear Christian tradesman and his lady friend. There is something suspiciously jocular about the wind-up of the application; but then, as an old proverb informs us, people who are doing well can afford the luxury of laughter. Another plan of the religious rascal is to answer applications for loans, and under the guise of philanthropy and Christianity to offer the required accommodation. By this means, and by the exhibition of certain forms, he obtains a deposit from the unfortunate would-be borrower, and decamps. This is, however, but a means of relaxation, and is simply indulged in at intervals, just to keep the hand in while more important business is in course of projection. The loan-office advertisements may to a certain extent be regarded as swindles, especially when they promise money without security. Depend upon it, no professional money-lender is likely to let out his cash without security any more than without interest. Still loan-office advertisers are not swindlers absolutely, as they do[357] lend money and to some extent perform their contracts. The papers at the present time swarm with their advertisements, and the curious reader may inspect them as they appear, as for obvious reasons we must decline making a selection, which might be the reverse of judicious, more especially as the notices do not come strictly within our limits. Now and again temporary offices are started, generally in poor neighbourhoods, for the purpose of bagging the inquiry fees, and with no intention whatever of lending money. Their general ultimatum is, “Security offered insufficient;” and a good story is told of a gentleman who from motives of curiosity applied for a loan of £5, and gave as guarantors two of the most notoriously wealthy bankers of the City. In due course he received the usual notification, that the security offered was not sufficiently “responsible,” and that the accommodation could not therefore be afforded.

If this isn't blasphemy, then what is? Picture the greasy smirk of satisfaction on the faces of the faithful as they received and split the money between the eager Christian businessman and his lady friend. There's something suspiciously jokey about the conclusion of the application; but as an old saying goes, people who are doing well can afford to laugh. Another scheme of the religious con artist is to respond to loan applications, pretending to be charitable and Christian while offering the money needed. This way, by using certain forms, he collects a deposit from the desperate would-be borrower and disappears. However, this is merely a way to kill time, casually indulged in while bigger plans are in the works. Loan office ads can partially be seen as scams, especially when they claim to offer money without collateral. Rest assured, no professional moneylender is going to part with their cash without collateral, just like they wouldn't without interest. Still, loan office advertisers aren’t complete frauds, as they do lend money and fulfill their contracts to some extent. Right now, the newspapers are full of their ads, and curious readers can check them out as they appear; for obvious reasons, we won't be making any selections, as that might not be wise, especially since the notices don’t quite fall within our scope. Now and then, temporary offices pop up, usually in poor areas, just to collect inquiry fees, with no real intention of lending money. Their standard response is, “Security offered is insufficient.” There's a funny story about a guy who, out of curiosity, applied for a loan of £5 and used two of the wealthiest bankers in the City as guarantors. Eventually, he received the same typical message, saying the security provided wasn’t “responsible” enough and therefore the loan couldn't be granted.

This brings us to the end of our list of swindlers and thieves; and if we have succeeded in our endeavour to show that the advertising rogue belongs to no particular class or profession, and that it is idle to assume that any rank or class is answerable for him, we shall be well satisfied. To our mind, and we have studied the subject rather closely, the advertising swindler is a swindler per se, and attaches himself to anything which offers a return, without caring what its title so long as it has claims to attention. It would be a great pity, therefore, to assume that these men have anything to do with the respectable forms of the professions—from sporting to religion—they from time to time adopt, and a great blunder to blame any body of respectable men because a lot of rogues choose to assume their business. As long as there are advertising swindlers, some profession or other must have the discredit of them.

This brings us to the end of our list of con artists and thieves. If we've managed to show that the advertising scammer doesn't belong to any specific class or profession, and that it's pointless to assume that any rank or class is responsible for them, we'll be quite pleased. In our view, and after studying the topic fairly closely, the advertising swindler is a scammer in their own right, attaching themselves to anything that offers a return, regardless of what it’s called, as long as it can grab attention. It would be a shame to think that these individuals have anything to do with the respectable forms of professions—from sports to religion—that they sometimes adopt, and it would be a significant mistake to blame any group of respectable individuals because some fraudsters choose to pose as part of their business. As long as there are advertising scammers, some profession or another will have to bear the burden of their actions.

There are, however, still advertisement swindles of a totally different description from any that have been here mentioned or referred to. There is the swindle of the newspaper proprietor who guarantees a circulation which[358] has no existence, and who, when he takes the money of those who insert notices in his journal, knows that he is committing a deliberate and barefaced robbery. There are in London, at the present time, papers that have absolutely no circulation, in the proper sense of the word, whatever; and of which only a sufficient number of copies is printed to supply those who advertise in them, according to the custom observed in many offices. The readers, therefore, pay a rather heavy premium for the privilege of perusing each other’s announcements. It may seem that this state of affairs cannot possibly continue long; but whatever theorists may make of it, we can speak with confidence of more than six papers which to our knowledge have possessed no buyers whatever for more than six years, yet their proprietors get good livings out of them—better, perhaps, than they would if sale and not swindle was the reason of their being—and calculate on continuing this state of things for their time at all events. After them the deluge may come as soon as it likes. We remember quite well an office in which six of these newspapers were printed—that is, supposed to be printed, for with the exception of an alteration of title and a rearrangement of columns, and with, very rarely, the substitution of a new leading article for an old one, these six newspapers were all one and the same to the printers. Now, of course, had there been any chance of one man buying two copies of this instrument of robbery under any two of its distinct names, the swindle would have run some risk of being exposed; but so far as we could discover, there was no desire ever shown to buy even one, the circulation being exclusively among the advertisers. A very small circulation which finds its way in any particular direction may often be far more useful to one who wishes his notice to travel that way than would the largest circulation in the world; but the intensest of optimists could hardly discern any likelihood of benefit in the system just noticed.

There are still scams related to advertisements that are completely different from the ones we've discussed. There's the scam by a newspaper owner who claims to have a circulation that doesn’t exist, and when he collects money from those who place ads in his paper, he knows he’s committing a blatant robbery. Right now, in London, there are papers that have absolutely no real circulation, and only enough copies are printed to fulfill the needs of their advertisers, following the common practice in many offices. As a result, the advertisers pay a hefty price just to read each other's announcements. It may seem that this situation can’t last long, but no matter what theorists say, we can confidently say that more than six papers we know of haven’t had any buyers for over six years, yet their owners make a good living from them—possibly even better than if their existence relied on actual sales—and they plan to keep this going as long as they can. After them, let the flood come whenever it wants. We remember an office where six of these newspapers were printed—that is, supposedly printed, because aside from a change in name and a rearrangement of columns, and very occasionally swapping out an old leading article for a new one, these six newspapers were essentially the same to the printers. Of course, if there had been any chance of someone buying two copies of this instrument of theft under different names, the scam might have been exposed. But as far as we could tell, no one ever showed any interest in buying even one, as the circulation was strictly among the advertisers. A very small circulation that reaches a specific audience can often be much more beneficial for someone wanting their notice seen by that group than the largest circulation in the world; but even the most hopeful optimist could hardly see any potential benefit in the system described here.

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Still another kind of advertisement swindle—still more distinct from the general run of swindles—is that by which certain ambitious persons try to obtain a spurious notoriety. Their desire is in no way connected with trade, though as it has in its effect the passing off of inferior wares upon the public as though they were of first-class quality, the word swindle very properly applies to their little trickery. These men pine for recognition in the public prints, and so long as their names are mentioned, no matter how, they regard the task of achieving a cheap immortality as progressing towards completion. Literature and the various phases of art suffer most from these impostors, who very often not only attain notoriety by means of the specious puffery they exercise, but by it obtain money as well. No one can be blind to the manner in which some very small literary lights manage to keep their names continually paraded before the public; and the puffs are so worded that the unthinking are bound to believe that these rushlight writers are the souls of the literature and journalism of the present day. Said the publisher of a magazine, who is not renowned for either taste or education, when it was proposed that a really eminent man should write him an article, “No; I dessay he’s very good, but I want men with names. I can get Montague Smith and Chumley Jones and Montmorency Thomson, all famous, and all glad to write for two pound a sheet—why, I never heard of your man, and yet he wants ten times as much. I never see his name in the papers.” This was the publisher who is said to have refused to pay for the refrain of a set of verses except where it first occurred, and demanded that the rest should be measured off and deducted from the price originally agreed upon. So not only in the case of the publisher, but in that of the public do these small potatoes, who have a knack of glossing over their mean surnames with high-sounding prefixes, render themselves representatives of an institution the real leaders in which are often quite unknown out of their own circles.[360] For every thousand familiar with the name of Shakespeare Green, the writer of “awfuls,” there is not one who can tell you who are the editors of the leading daily papers and principal reviews. The anonymity of journalism has its advantages, and very likely the directors of public opinion are content to remain behind its curtain; but it is through this same anonymous arrangement that the smallest of small fry measured on their merits are enabled to parade themselves as they do. There are, we know, many deservedly well and widely known writers for newspapers and serials who are really what they profess to be, and who depend upon nothing so much as merit, for success; but even they must admit the truth of what we have said, and must often feel very like the apples did as they went down stream in the fable.

Another type of advertising scam—distinct from the usual scams—comes from certain ambitious individuals who seek false fame. Their goal isn’t related to business, but it results in inferior products being sold to the public as if they were top-quality, so the term scam fits their deceitful strategies. These people crave recognition in the media, believing that as long as their names are mentioned, regardless of the context, they are getting closer to achieving cheap fame. Literature and various forms of art suffer the most from these frauds, who often gain notoriety and money through the misleading promotion they engage in. It’s obvious how some minor literary figures keep their names constantly in front of the public; their promotions are crafted in a way that the uninformed are likely to believe these minor writers are the heart of today’s literature and journalism. A magazine publisher—who isn’t known for his taste or education—once said when it was suggested that a truly great writer contribute an article, “No; I suppose he’s good, but I want names. I can get Montague Smith and Chumley Jones and Montmorency Thomson, all famous, and all happy to write for two pounds a sheet—why, I’ve never heard of your guy, and he wants ten times as much. I never see his name in the papers.” This is the same publisher who reportedly refused to pay for the refrain of a poem except where it first appeared and demanded that the rest be measured and deducted from the originally agreed-upon price. Therefore, not only in the publisher’s case but also in the public’s case, these minor players, who manage to dress up their unimpressive surnames with grand prefixes, present themselves as representatives of an institution where the true leaders are often unknown outside their own circles.[360] For every thousand people familiar with the name Shakespeare Green, the writer of “awfuls,” there’s hardly anyone who can name the editors of the leading daily newspapers and major reviews. The anonymity of journalism has its benefits, and the influencers of public opinion likely prefer to stay behind the scenes; however, this same anonymity allows the smallest of writers, measured by their true worth, to showcase themselves as they do. We know many well-respected writers for newspapers and magazines who genuinely deserve their recognition and rely on merit for their success; but even they must acknowledge the truth of what we’ve stated and often feel much like the apples did as they floated downstream in the fable.

It might be as well here to say a few words about the advertisement swindles that are perpetrated by means of photographs. It has long been a crying evil that at certain theatres shameless women who wear many diamonds and few clothes are allowed to appear upon the stage and play at acting. Much training enables them now and again to deliver half-a-dozen lines without displaying their ignorance and peculiarity of aspiration too glaringly; but they cannot be depended on to do even this much with certainty. Sometimes they sing in the smallest of small voices, and a few of them have mastered the breakdown and the can-can; but their chief attraction consists, to the audience, in their lavish display of limbs and “neck,” and, to the manager, in their requiring but nominal salaries. One would have thought it sufficient that such creatures should exhibit themselves to the people who choose to go and see them; but it is not so, they get themselves photographed in the most extraordinary attitudes, and their counterfeit presentments leer out from the shop windows upon passers-by in much the same manner as in the flesh—sometimes in very much of it—they leer at their friends in the stalls and[361] boxes. Now and again we see the portrait of one real and justly-celebrated actress surrounded by these demireps, but of late what are known as actresses’ portraits consist mainly of those to whom the title is convenient, or of those who combine a little of the actress with a great deal of the courtesan. Those artists whose portraits should grace the photographers’ show-cases hardly care to run the risk of being mixed up in the questionable society they see there; and we can vouch for the fact that in a leading thoroughfare, of twenty-five English portraits exhibited in a window as those of actresses, at which we were looking but recently, there were not five that were really what they pretended to be.

It might be useful to say a few words about the advertising scams that are carried out using photographs. For a long time, it's been a major issue that at certain theaters, shameless women wearing lots of diamonds and very little clothing are allowed to take the stage and pretend to act. With some training, they can occasionally deliver a few lines without making their ignorance and unusual aspirations too obvious; but you can’t rely on them to do even that consistently. Sometimes they sing very softly, and a few have learned the breakdown and the can-can; but what mainly draws the audience is their flashy display of limbs and "neck," and for the manager, their salaries are minimal. One might think it would be enough for these women to show themselves to those willing to watch; however, they also get photographed in the most outrageous poses, and their fake images leer out from shop windows, much like in real life—sometimes with quite a lot of exposure—glaring at their friends in the stalls and boxes. Occasionally, we see the picture of one actual, well-respected actress surrounded by these showgirls, but lately, what are known as actresses' portraits mostly feature those for whom the title is convenient, or those who blend a bit of the actress with a lot of the courtesan. Those artists whose images should be displayed in photographers' showcases usually prefer to avoid the dubious company found there; and we can confirm that on a prominent street, of twenty-five English portraits shown in a window as actresses—ones we looked at recently—there were fewer than five that were genuinely what they claimed to be.

Of hoaxes which come within our scope a very noticeable one took place in August 1815. A short time previous to the departure of the French Emperor from our coast on his last journey, to St Helena, a respectably-dressed man caused a quantity of handbills to be distributed through Chester, in which he informed the public that a great number of genteel families had embarked at Plymouth, and would certainly proceed with the British regiment appointed to accompany the ex-Emperor to St Helena: he added further, that the island being dreadfully infested with rats, his Majesty’s ministers had determined that it should be forthwith effectually cleared of those noxious animals. To facilitate this important purpose, he had been deputed to purchase as many cats and thriving kittens as could possibly be procured for money, in a short space of time; and therefore he publicly offered in his handbills “sixteen shillings for every athletic full-grown tom-cat, ten shillings for every adult female puss, and half-a-crown for every thriving vigorous kitten that could swill milk, pursue a ball of thread, or fasten its young fangs in a dying mouse.” On the evening of the third day after this advertisement had been distributed, the people of Chester were astonished by an irruption of a multitude of old women, boys, and girls into[362] their streets, each of whom carried on his or her shoulders either a bag or a basket, which appeared to contain some restless animal. Every road, every lane, was thronged with this comical procession; and before night a congregation of nearly three thousand cats was collected in Chester. The happy bearers of these sweet-voiced creatures proceeded (as directed by the advertisement) towards one street with their delectable burdens. Here they became closely wedged together. A vocal concert soon ensued. The women screamed; the cats squalled; the boys and girls shrieked aloud, and the dogs of the street howled to match, so that it soon became difficult for the nicest ear to ascertain whether the canine, the feline, or the human tones were predominant. Some of the cat-bearing ladies, whose dispositions were not of the most placid nature, finding themselves annoyed by their neighbours, soon cast down their burdens and began to box. A battle royal ensued. The cats sounded the war-whoop with might and main. Meanwhile the boys of the town, who seemed mightily to relish the sport, were actively employed in opening the mouths of the deserted sacks, and liberating the cats from their forlorn situations. The enraged animals bounded immediately on the shoulders and heads of the combatants, and ran spitting, squalling, and clawing along the undulating sea of skulls, towards the walls of the houses of the good people of Chester. The citizens, attracted by the noise, had opened the windows to gaze at the fun. The cats, rushing with the rapidity of lightning up the pillars, and then across the balustrades and galleries, for which the town is so famous, leaped slap-dash through the open windows into the apartments. Never, since the days of the celebrated Hugh Lupus, were the drawing-rooms of Chester filled with such a crowd of unwelcome guests. Now were heard the crashes of broken china; the howling of affrighted dogs; the cries of distressed damsels, and the groans of well-fed citizens. All Chester was soon in arms; and dire[363] were the deeds of vengeance executed on the feline race. Next morning above five hundred dead bodies were seen floating on the river Dee, where they had been ignominiously thrown by the two-legged victors. The rest of the invading host having evacuated the town, dispersed in the utmost confusion to their respective homes.

Of hoaxes that fit our topic, a particularly remarkable one happened in August 1815. Not long before the French Emperor left our shores for his final journey to St. Helena, a well-dressed man had a bunch of handbills distributed around Chester. He informed the public that many respectable families had boarded a ship at Plymouth and would definitely travel with the British regiment assigned to escort the ex-Emperor to St. Helena. He also added that the island was severely overrun with rats, and the King’s ministers decided to get rid of those pests. To help with this important task, he had been chosen to buy as many cats and healthy kittens as he could get his hands on in a short amount of time. Thus, he publicly offered in his handbills “sixteen shillings for every athletic full-grown tom-cat, ten shillings for every adult female cat, and half-a-crown for every healthy vigorous kitten that could swill milk, chase a ball of thread, or sink its young teeth into a dying mouse.” On the evening of the third day after this ad had gone out, the people of Chester were shocked by a flood of old women, boys, and girls invading their streets, each carrying a bag or basket that seemed to hold a lively animal. Every road and lane was packed with this amusing parade, and by nightfall, nearly three thousand cats had gathered in Chester. The thrilled carriers of these sweet-voiced creatures marched (as directed by the advertisement) down one street with their delightful loads. Here they got tightly packed together. A loud chorus soon erupted. The women screamed; the cats yowled; the boys and girls shrieked, and the neighborhood dogs howled in response, making it hard for anyone to tell if the dog, cat, or human sounds were the loudest. Some of the cat-carrying ladies, who weren’t exactly calm, got annoyed by each other, dropped their loads, and started fighting. A chaotic battle broke out. The cats joined in with full energy. Meanwhile, the local boys seemed to enjoy the chaos, actively opening the mouths of the abandoned bags and freeing the cats from their sad situations. The furious animals jumped immediately onto the shoulders and heads of the fighters, running and clawing in every direction across the crowd. The citizens, drawn by the ruckus, opened their windows to watch the spectacle. The cats darted up the pillars and across the famous balustrades and galleries of the town, leaping straight through the open windows into the homes. Never since the days of the famous Hugh Lupus had the drawing rooms of Chester hosted such an unwelcome gathering. Crashes of broken china were heard, along with the howls of terrified dogs, the screams of distressed women, and the groans of well-fed citizens. Soon, all of Chester was in chaos, and it was dire vengeance that the feline community faced. The next morning, over five hundred cat bodies were spotted floating down the river Dee, where they had been unceremoniously tossed by their two-legged adversaries. The remaining invaders, having left the town, scattered in a frenzy back to their homes.

In 1826 the following handbill was circulated in Norwich and its neighbourhood for some days previous to the date mentioned in it, and caused great excitement:—

In 1826, the following flyer was distributed in Norwich and the surrounding area for several days leading up to the date referenced, generating a lot of excitement:—

St James’s Hill, back of the Horse Barracks.

St James’s Hill, behind the Horse Barracks.

The Public are respectfully informed that Signor CARLO GRAM VILLECROP, the celebrated Swiss Mountain Flyer, from Geneva and Mont Blanc, is just arrived in this City, and will exhibit with a Tyrolese Pole, fifty feet long, his most astonishing Gymnastic Flights, never before witnessed in this country. Signor Villecrop has had the great honour of exhibiting his most extraordinary Feats on the Continent before the King of Prussia, Emperor of Austria, the Grand Duke of Tuscany, and all the resident Nobility in Switzerland. He begs to inform the Ladies and Gentlemen of this City that he has selected St James’s Hill and the adjoining hills for his performances, and will first display his remarkable strength in running up the hill with his Tyrolese Pole between his teeth. He will next lay on his back, and balance the same Pole on his nose, chin, and different parts of his body. He will climb upon it with the astonishing swiftness of a cat, and stand on his head at the top; on a sudden he will leap three feet from the Pole without falling, suspending himself by a shenese cord only. He will also walk on his head up and down the hill, balancing the Pole on one foot. Many other feats will be exhibited, in which Signor Villecrop will display to the audience the much-admired art of toppling, peculiar only to the Peasantry of Switzerland. He will conclude his performance by repeated flights in the air, up and down the hill, with a velocity almost imperceptible, assisted only by his Pole, with which he will frequently jump the astonishing distance of Forty and Fifty Yards at a time. Signor Villecrop begs to assure the ladies and gentlemen who honour him with their company that no money will be collected till after the exhibition, feeling convinced that his exertions will be liberally rewarded by their generosity. The Exhibition to commence on Monday, the 28th of August 1826, precisely at half-past five o’clock in the evening.

The public is kindly informed that Signor CARLO GRAM VILLECROP, the famous Swiss Mountain Flyer from Geneva and Mont Blanc, has just arrived in this city. He will showcase his incredible gymnastic flights with a fifty-foot Tyrolese pole, never before seen in this country. Signor Villecrop has had the honor of performing his extraordinary feats on the Continent before the King of Prussia, the Emperor of Austria, the Grand Duke of Tuscany, and all the nobility in Switzerland. He would like to inform the ladies and gentlemen of this city that he has chosen St James’s Hill and the surrounding hills for his performances. He will first demonstrate his remarkable strength by running up the hill with the Tyrolese pole between his teeth. Next, he will lie on his back and balance the pole on his nose, chin, and various parts of his body. He will climb it with the astonishing agility of a cat and stand on his head at the top. Suddenly, he will leap three feet from the pole without falling, only suspended by a thin cord. He will also walk on his head up and down the hill while balancing the pole on one foot. Many other feats will be showcased, where Signor Villecrop will display the much-admired art of toppling, a skill unique to the peasantry of Switzerland. He will conclude his performance with repeated flights in the air, going up and down the hill with an almost imperceptible speed, assisted only by his pole, with which he will frequently jump an incredible distance of forty to fifty yards at a time. Signor Villecrop assures the ladies and gentlemen who attend that no money will be collected until after the exhibition, confident that his efforts will be generously rewarded. The exhibition will start on Monday, August 28, 1826, precisely at 5:30 PM.

On the evening of the 28th August there were more than twenty thousand people assembled at the foot of the hill, on[364] foot, on horseback, and in every kind of conveyance. Of course Signor Carlo Gram Villecrop did not put in an appearance, for that best of all the reasons that could be given—his having no existence out of the minds of the perpetrators of the swindle.

On the evening of August 28th, over twenty thousand people gathered at the foot of the hill, on foot, on horseback, and in all kinds of vehicles. Of course, Signor Carlo Gram Villecrop didn’t show up, for the best reason possible—he didn't exist outside the minds of those who pulled off the scam.

We had intended to introduce as a congenial subject the great bottle-trick hoax, but as we have already run to such length, and as this famous piece of humbug will stand well alone, we give it a chapter to itself.

We planned to introduce the interesting topic of the great bottle-trick hoax, but since we've already gone on for a while, and this well-known trick can stand on its own, we're giving it its own chapter.


[36] Book of Days.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Daybook.


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[365]

CHAPTER 13.
THE GREAT BOTTLE TRICK SCAM.

At the close of the year 1748, or in the beginning of 1749, the Duke of Montague, Lord Portman, and some other noblemen were talking about the gullibility of the people, and the Duke offered to wager that, let a man advertise the most impossible thing in the world, he would find fools enough in London to fill a playhouse, and pay handsomely for the privilege of being there. “Surely,” said the Earl of Chesterfield, “if a man should say that he would jump into a quart bottle, nobody would believe that.” The Duke was somewhat staggered at this, but for the sake of the jest determined to make the experiment. Accordingly the following advertisement was inserted in the papers of the first week in January 1749:—

At the end of 1748, or at the start of 1749, the Duke of Montague, Lord Portman, and a few other nobles were discussing how easily people could be fooled. The Duke bet that if someone advertised the most outrageous thing imaginable, there would be enough gullible folks in London to fill a theater and pay good money for the chance to be part of it. “Surely,” said the Earl of Chesterfield, “if someone claimed they would jump into a quart bottle, nobody would fall for that.” The Duke was a bit surprised by this, but decided to go along with the joke and put it to the test. So, an advertisement was published in the papers during the first week of January 1749:—

AT the New Theatre in the Hay market, on Monday next, the 12th instant, is to be seen a Person who performs the several most surprising things following, viz.—1st. He takes a common walking Cane from any of the Spectators, and thereon plays the music of every Instrument now in use, and likewise sings to surprising perfection.—2dly. He presents you with a common Wine Bottle, which any of the spectators may first examine; this Bottle is placed on a Table in the middle of the Stage, and he (without any equivocation) goes into it, in the sight of all the Spectators, and sings in it; during his stay in the bottle, any Person may handle it, and see plainly that it does not exceed a common Tavern Bottle.—Those on the Stage, or in the Boxes, may come in masked habits (if agreeable to them); and the Performer, if desired, will inform them who they are.—Stage, 7s. 6d. Boxes, 5s. Pit, 3s. Gallery, 2s. Tickets to be had at the Theatre:—To begin at half an hour after six o’clock. The performance continues about two hours and a half.

AT the New Theatre in the Haymarket, on Monday next, the 12th of this month, you can see a person who does several amazing things, including: 1st. He takes a regular walking cane from any of the audience and plays the music of every instrument currently in use, and also sings with remarkable skill. 2nd. He shows you a regular wine bottle, which any audience member can inspect first; this bottle is placed on a table in the middle of the stage, and he (without any tricks) goes inside it right in front of everyone, singing from within. While he’s in the bottle, anyone can handle it and easily see that it’s just an ordinary tavern bottle. Those on stage or in the boxes can enter in masked costumes (if they wish), and if asked, the performer will reveal their identities. —Stage, 7s. 6d. Boxes, 5s. Pit, 3s. Gallery, 2s. Tickets available at the Theatre:—The show starts at half past six o’clock. The performance lasts about two and a half hours.

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Note.-If any Gentlemen or Ladies (after the above Performance) either single or in company, in or out of mask, is desirous of seeing a representation of any deceased Person, such as Husband or Wife, Sister or Brother, or any intimate Friend of either sex, upon making a gratuity to the Performer, shall be gratified by seeing and conversing with them for some minutes, as if alive; likewise, if desired, he will tell you your most secret thoughts in your past Life, and give you a full view of persons who have injured you, whether dead or alive. For those Gentlemen and Ladies who are desirous of seeing this last part, there is a private Room provided.

Note.-If any gentlemen or ladies (after the performance above) either alone or together, with or without masks, want to see a representation of any deceased person, such as a husband or wife, sister or brother, or any close friend of either gender, by giving a tip to the performer, they will have the chance to see and talk to them for a few minutes as if they were alive. Additionally, if requested, the performer will reveal your most secret thoughts from your past life and give you insight into people who have wronged you, whether they are alive or dead. For those gentlemen and ladies interested in seeing this last part, a private room is available.

These performances have been seen by most of the crowned Heads of Asia, Africa, and Europe, and never appeared public any where but once; but will wait on any at their Houses, and perform as above, for five Pounds each time. A proper guard is appointed to prevent disorder.

These performances have been witnessed by most of the kings and queens of Asia, Africa, and Europe, and they’ve only appeared publicly once; however, they are available to perform at anyone's home for five pounds each time. A proper security detail is assigned to maintain order.

On the appointed day the theatre was crowded to excess, but as there was not even a single fiddle provided to keep the audience in good-humour, signs of impatience soon began to manifest themselves. When the hour was past at which the conjuror had to make his appearance, there arose a horrible uproar, and the loud cat-calls, heightened by cries and beating of sticks, soon brought a person on the stage, who, amidst endless bowing and scraping, declared that if the performer did not appear within a quarter of an hour, the money should be returned. At the same time a wag in the pit exclaimed that if the ladies and gentlemen would give double prices he would creep into a pint bottle. Scarcely was the quarter of an hour’s grace elapsed, when a gentleman in one of the boxes seized a lighted candle and threw it on the stage. This was the signal for a general outbreak, the benches were torn up and everything that could be moved was thrown about. The greater part of the audience made the best of their way out of the house, the rush to the doors being so dreadful that wigs, hats, cloaks, and dresses, were left behind and lost. Meantime the mob remained and almost gutted the building: the wood was carried into the street and made into a mighty bonfire, whilst the curtain was hoisted upon a pole by way[367] of a flag. Of the conjuror nothing was ever heard, but the affair gave rise to a number of curious advertisements. The Duke of Cumberland having lost his sword in the general panic, it was advertised in the following manner:—

On the day of the event, the theater was packed, but since there was no music to keep the audience entertained, impatience quickly set in. When the hour passed for the magician to appear, a terrible uproar broke out, and loud boos, mixed with shouts and stick banging, soon brought someone on stage. Amidst endless bowing, this person announced that if the performer didn’t show up in the next fifteen minutes, the tickets would be refunded. Meanwhile, a jokester in the crowd shouted that if everyone paid double, he would fit himself into a pint bottle. Just as the fifteen minutes were about to end, a man in one of the boxes grabbed a lit candle and threw it onto the stage. This sparked a riot; benches were destroyed, and anything that could be moved was tossed around. Many audience members rushed for the exits, causing such chaos that wigs, hats, cloaks, and clothing were left behind. Meanwhile, the remaining crowd nearly stripped the place bare: they carried the wooden seats into the street and built a huge bonfire, while the curtain was raised on a pole as a makeshift flag. Nothing was ever heard from the magician, but the incident led to a variety of unusual advertisements. The Duke of Cumberland, having lost his sword in the chaos, had it advertised in the following manner:

LOST, last Monday night at the Little Play house in the Hay market, a Sword with a gold Hilt and cutting Blade, with a crimson and gold Swordknot tied round the Hilt. Whoever brings it to Mr Chevenix’s Toy shop, over against Great Suffolk Street, near Chearing Cross, shall receive thirty Guineas reward, and no Questions asked.

LOST, last Monday night at the Little Playhouse in the Haymarket, a sword with a gold hilt and sharp blade, wrapped with a crimson and gold decorative knot around the hilt. Whoever returns it to Mr. Chevenix’s toy shop, across from Great Suffolk Street, near Charing Cross, will receive a reward of thirty guineas, no questions asked.

It was probably a Jacobite who answered this by the following:—

It was likely a Jacobite who replied with the following:—

FOUND entangled in the slit of a Lady’s demolished smock Petticoat, a gold hilted Sword, of martial length and temper, nothing worse for wear, with the Spey curiously wrought on one side of the blade, and the Scheldt on the other; supposed to have been stolen from the plump side of a great General, in his precipitate retreat from the Battle of Bottle-Noodles, at Station Foote. Enquire at the Quart Bottle and Musical Cane in Potter’s Row.

FOUND caught in the tear of a Lady’s torn smock petticoat, a gold-hilted sword, with a proper length and quality, showing no signs of wear, with the Spey intricately designed on one side of the blade and the Scheldt on the other; thought to have been taken from the well-rounded side of a high-ranking General during his hasty retreat from the Battle of Bottle-Noodles, at Station Foote. Ask at the Quart Bottle and Musical Cane in Potter’s Row.

N.B.—Every word of a certain late advertisement is true, except all the advertisement.

N.B.—Every word in a certain recent ad is true, except for the entire ad.

Foote having been blamed by many for the occurrence of this disgraceful hoax, excused himself by an advertisement, in which he threw the blame upon Potter, the proprietor of the playhouse, whom Foote had warned that he thought a fraud on the public was intended. To this Potter replied by a counter-advertisement, explaining the precautions he had taken: how he had not allowed the conjuror or any of his men to take the money, but placed his own servants at the door, and how he would have returned it all, but that the house was sacked and the takings stolen. On the 20th of January there appeared an advertisement of Potter’s, which ran as follows:—

Foote, who was blamed by many for this embarrassing hoax, defended himself through an advertisement, where he shifted the blame onto Potter, the owner of the theater. Foote had warned Potter that he suspected a scam was being planned against the public. In response, Potter issued a counter-advertisement, detailing the measures he had taken: he had not allowed the magician or his crew to collect money, positioning his own staff at the entrance instead, and he claimed he would have refunded everything if the venue hadn't been ransacked and the proceeds stolen. On January 20th, Potter published an advertisement that read as follows: follows:—

WHEREAS a letter signed S. M. dated the 18th instant, was sent yesterday by the Penny Post, directed to Mr Potter, in the Hay market; which by the contents seems to come from the person who took Mr Potter’s Theatre, for Monday last; wherein he complains of much ill usage, and insists that the Man can perform the things he[368] advertised, and would have performed them, and was actually in a Coach in order to come, but was intimidated by two Gentlemen who came from the Gun Tavern, who told him he would be taken up if he performed: and in his Letter he threatens, that in case Mr Potter will not give him £22, which he says he was out of pocket, that he will apply to some Court of Law or Equity, for justice: He also desires an answer in this Paper—In answer to which, S. M. is desired to appear personally and to give an Account of his Name and place of Abode; and he shall have such Satisfaction as in justice deserves.

WHEREAS a letter signed S. M. dated the 18th of this month was sent yesterday by the Penny Post, addressed to Mr. Potter in the Haymarket. The content suggests it comes from the individual who rented Mr. Potter’s Theatre for last Monday, where he complains of being mistreated and insists that he can perform the acts he advertised and would have done so. He was actually in a coach ready to come but was intimidated by two gentlemen from the Gun Tavern who warned him he’d be arrested if he went through with it. In his letter, he threatens that if Mr. Potter doesn’t pay him £22, which he claims he lost, he will seek justice in a court of law or equity. He also requests a response to this document. In reply, S. M. is asked to appear in person and provide his name and address, and he will receive the satisfaction he deserves.

John Potter.

John Potter.

The same paper also contained the following exculpation:—

The same paper also included the following exoneration:—

WHEREAS the Public was on Monday last basely abused by an Impostor, who pretended to perform what was impracticable, at the Theatre in the Hay market; the same imposition some evil-minded villains imagined John Coustos, Lapidary, to be the author of: This is to assure the Public that the said John Coustos had never such Design, nor ever hired or caused to be hired, the House on any occasion whatever; and to caution those his Enemies, who are the Authors of this Report, not to assert a thing which they know to be a gross Falsity: And there are those who are ready to attest on Oath that he was in their company that Evening, and was at the Theatre as a spectator only.

WHEREAS the public was misled last Monday by a fraud who claimed to do the impossible at the theater in the Haymarket; some malicious individuals thought John Coustos, Lapidary, was behind this deception. This is to assure the public that John Coustos had no such intentions, nor did he ever rent or cause to have the theater rented at any time. It is also to warn his enemies, who spread this false rumor, not to make claims they know are complete lies. There are people ready to swear that he was with them that evening and attended the theater only as a spectator.

John Coustos.

John Coustos.

Many attempts were made to fathom the depth and discover the origin of this hoax, and several humorous explanations were given in the papers, among them being the following:—

Many efforts were made to understand the depth and find the origin of this hoax, and several funny explanations were shared in the newspapers, including the following:—

WHEREAS various stories have been told the Public, about the Man and the Bottle, the following account seems to be the best as yet given of that odd Affair; viz. A Gentleman went to him the same evening he was to perform in the Haymarket, and asking him what he must have to perform to him in private, he said £5, on which they agreed; and the Conjuror getting ready to go into the Bottle, which was set on a Table, the gentleman having provided a Parcel of Corks, fitted one to the Bottle; then the Conjuror, having darkened the Room as much as was necessary, at last with much squeezing got into the Bottle, which, in a moment the Gentleman corked up, and whipt into his Pocket, and in great haste and seeming confusion, went out of the House, telling the Servants who waited at the door, that their Master had bewitched him, and bid them go in and take care of him. Thus[369] the poor Man being bit himself, in being confined in the Bottle and in a Gentleman’s Pocket, could not be in another Place; for he never advertised he would go into two Bottles at one and the same time. He is still in the Gentleman’s custody, who uncorks him now and then to feed him; but his long Confinement has so damped his Spirits, that instead of singing and dancing, he is perpetually crying and cursing his ill Fate. But though the Town have been disappointed of seeing him go into the Bottle, in a few days they will have the pleasure of seeing him come out of the Bottle; of which timely notice will be given in the daily Papers.

WHEREAS various stories have been shared with the public about the Man and the Bottle, this account seems to be the best that's been given of that strange situation; specifically, a gentleman visited him the same evening he was set to perform in the Haymarket, and when asking how much it would cost for a private performance, the answer was £5, to which they agreed. The conjurer prepared to enter the Bottle, which was placed on a table, and the gentleman provided a bunch of corks, using one to seal the Bottle. After the conjurer darkened the room as much as needed, he finally squeezed himself into the Bottle. In an instant, the gentleman corked it up, shoved it into his pocket, and hurriedly left the house, telling the servants at the door that their master had trapped him and instructed them to go inside and take care of him. Thus[369] the poor man, having been tricked himself, was trapped in the Bottle and in the gentleman’s pocket, leaving him unable to be anywhere else; after all, he never claimed he could enter two Bottles at once. He remains in the gentleman’s possession, who now and then uncorks him to feed him, but his long confinement has so dampened his spirits that instead of singing and dancing, he's constantly crying and cursing his bad luck. However, although the town has been let down by not seeing him enter the Bottle, in a few days they will get the chance to see him come out of the Bottle; timely notice will be posted in the daily papers.

Pamphlets ridiculing the public for its gullibility issued from the press with alarming rapidity, and advertisements of performances equally impossible as the bottle-hoax continued to be inserted in the papers for several weeks after. Among them were the following:—

Pamphlets mocking the public for being so easily fooled were printed at a shocking speed, and ads for performances just as unbelievable as the bottle-hoax kept appearing in the newspapers for several weeks afterward. Among them were the following:—

Lately arrived from Italy,

Just arrived from Italy,

SIGNOR CAPITELLO JUMPEDO a surprising Dwarf, no taller than a common Tavern Tobacco Pipe: who can perform many wonderful Equilibres on the slack or tight Rope: likewise he will transform his Body in above ten thousand different Shapes and Postures, and after he has diverted the Spectators two hours and a half, he will open his Mouth wide and jump down his own Throat! He being the most wonderfullest Wonder of Wonders, as ever the World wondered at, would be willing to join in performance with that surprising Musician, on Monday next in the Hay market. He is to be spoke with at the Black Raven in Golden Lane, every day from seven till twelve, and from two to all day long.

SIGNORE CAPITAL JUMPED is a surprising Dwarf, no taller than a regular Tavern Tobacco Pipe: who can perform many amazing tricks on both slack and tight ropes. He can also transform his body into over ten thousand different shapes and poses, and after entertaining the audience for two and a half hours, he will open his mouth wide and jump down his own throat! Being the most incredible wonder of wonders that the world has ever seen, he is eager to perform alongside that amazing musician next Monday in the Haymarket. You can meet him at the Black Raven in Golden Lane every day from seven to twelve and from two all day long.

This was also an emanation caused by the current excitement, and was published January 27, 1749:—

This was also a result of the current excitement and was published on January 27, 1749:—

DON JOHN DE NASAQUITINE, sworn Brother and Companion to the Man that was to have jumped into the Bottle at the Little Theatre in the Hay market, on Monday the 16th past; hereby invites all such as were then disappointed to repair to the Theatre aforesaid on Monday the 30th; and that shall be exhibited unto them, which never has heretofore, nor ever will be hereafter seen. All such as shall swear upon the Book of Wisdom that they paid for seeing the Bottle Man will be admitted gratis; the rest at Gotham prices.

DON JOHN DE NASAQUITINE, sworn Brother and Companion to the guy who was supposed to jump into the Bottle at the Little Theatre in the Haymarket on Monday the 16th; invites everyone who was disappointed then to come to the Theater on Monday the 30th; and that will be shown to them, which has never been seen before, nor will it be seen again. Anyone who swears on the Book of Wisdom that they paid to see the Bottle Man will get in free; others will pay regular prices.

And then the public were treated to this, for the purpose of keeping up the interest:—

And then the public got to see this, to maintain the interest:—

[370]

[370]

Lately arrived from Ethiopia,

Just arrived from Ethiopia,

THE most wonderful and surprising Doctor Benimbe Zammanpoango, Oculist and Body Surgeon to Emperor of Monoemungi, who will perform on Sunday next, at the little T—— in the Hay market, the following surprising Operations; viz. 1st, He desires any one of the Spectators only to pull out his own Eyes, which as soon as he has done, the Doctor will shew them to any Lady or Gentleman then present, to convince them there is no Cheat, and then replace them in the Sockets, as perfect and entire as ever. 2dly, He desires any officer or other, to rip up his own Belly, which when he has done, he (without any Equivocation) takes out his Bowels, washes them, and returns them to their place, without the Person’s suffering the least hurt. 3dly, He opens the head of a J—— of P——, takes out his Brains, and exchanges them for those of a Calf; the Brains of a Beau for those of an Ass, and the Heart of a Bully for that of a Sheep: which Operations will render the Persons more sociable and rational Creatures than they ever were in their Lives. And to convince the town that no imposition is intended, he desires no Money until the Performance is over. Boxes, 5 guin. Pit 3. Gallery 2.

THim most amazing and surprising Doctor Benimbe Zammanpoango, Oculist and Body Surgeon to the Emperor of Monoemungi, will perform on the next Sunday at the small T—— in Haymarket, the following astonishing procedures: 1st, he invites one of the spectators to pull out their own eyes, and as soon as they do, the Doctor will show them to any lady or gentleman present to prove there’s no trick, and then put them back in the sockets, as perfect and whole as ever. 2nd, he asks any officer or other to slice open their own belly, and when they do, he (without any deception) removes their intestines, washes them, and returns them to their place, without the person feeling the slightest harm. 3rd, he opens the head of a J—— of P——, removes their brains, and swaps them for those of a calf; the brains of a dandy for those of a donkey, and the heart of a bully for that of a sheep: these procedures will make the individuals more sociable and rational than they have ever been in their lives. To assure the town that there’s no trickery involved, he asks for no money until the performance is complete. Boxes, 5 guin. Pit 3. Gallery 2.

N.B.—The famous Oculist will be there, and honest S—— F—— H—— will come if he can. Ladies may come masked, so may Fribbles. The Faculty and Clergy gratis. The Orator would be there, but is engaged.

N.B.—The well-known eye doctor will be there, and the honest S—— F—— H—— will come if he can. Ladies can come wearing masks, and so can Fribbles. The Faculty and Clergy are free to attend. The speaker would be there, but he is booked.

Money seems to have been at least as plentiful as wit in those days, for, from a lot of other notices bearing on this subject, we take this:—

Money seemed to be as abundant as creativity back then, because from many other notices related to this topic, we take this:—

This is to inform the Public,

This is to inform the public,

THAT notwithstanding the great Abuse that has been put upon the Gentry, there is now in Town a Man, who instead of creeping into a Quart or Pint Bottle, will change himself into a Rattle; which he hopes will please both young and old. If this Person meets with encouragement to this Advertisement, he will then acquaint the Gentry where and when he performs.

TCap despite the major disrespect shown to the upper class, there's a guy in town who, instead of fitting himself into a quart or pint bottle, will turn himself into a rattle; he hopes this will entertain both kids and adults. If this person gets support from this ad, he will then let the upper class know where and when he performs.

Strange as it may seem, and notwithstanding all the expenditure of wit and humour upon the credulity of the times that had been made, one showman still thought there was room left for a further attempt at attracting the public with the tenant of a bottle. Very soon after the great hoax he published the following advertisement, which shows the[371] desire some industrious people have to avail themselves of the general disposition of the time. The faculty of imitation is very largely developed nowadays, as witness what follows as soon as any enterprising theatrical manager makes “a hit,” and so it is pleasant to find that an honest penny was turned in humble imitation of the great bottle swindle:—

Strange as it seems, and despite all the cleverness and humor that people had shown towards the gullibility of the times, one showman still believed there was an opportunity to grab the public’s attention with the occupant of a bottle. Not long after the big hoax, he released the following advertisement, which highlights the eagerness some industrious individuals have to take advantage of the general mood of the era. The ability to imitate is very much alive today, as evidenced by what happens as soon as any ambitious theater manager scores a "hit," and it’s nice to see that a legitimate profit was made in humble imitation of the great bottle scam:—

To be seen at Mr Leader’s, the Old Horseshoe, in Wood Street, Cheapside,
from Nine till Twelve, and from Four to Seven o’Clock,
Lately brought from France
,

To be seen at Mr. Leader's, the Old Horseshoe, in Wood Street, Cheapside,
from 9 AM to 12 PM, and from 4 PM to 7 PM,
Recently imported from France
,

A FULL grown Mouse alive, confined in a small two ounce Phial, the Neck of which is not a quarter of an inch Diameter. This amusing Creature has lived in the Phial three Years and a half without Drink or any Sustenance but Bread only. It cleans out its little Habitation, and hath many other pretty Actions, as surprising as agreeable; but particularly creates wonderful diversion with a Fly, and is allowed to be an extraordinary Curiosity, never before seen in England; at the Expense of 6d. each Person.

A FULL grown Mouse alive, kept in a small two-ounce vial, the neck of which is less than a quarter of an inch in diameter. This amusing creature has lived in the vial for three and a half years without any drink or sustenance other than bread. It cleans out its little home and has many other charming behaviors that are both surprising and enjoyable; but it especially entertains with a fly, and is recognized as an extraordinary curiosity, never seen before in England; for the price of 6d. per person.

Note.—Gentlemen or Ladies who don’t chuse to come, it shall be carried to them, by sending a line to Mr Leader.

Note.—Gentlemen or Ladies who don’t want to come, it will be sent to them by sending a message to Mr. Leader.

Like everything else of its kind, the excitement in connection with the bottle-hoax soon gave way to fresh topics of public interest. The trick has, however, been revived occasionally with more or less effect; and Theodore Hook’s cruel, and not particularly clever, hoax, which made a house in Berners Street notorious and its occupants miserable, was but a phase of the swindle just related; and being so, loses whatever merit it possessed in the eyes of those who will sacrifice anything to a joke, so long, of course, as it is original and does not interfere with their own comfort or convenience. Deprived of its originality, Hook’s exploit stands forth as a trick hardly excusable in a boy, and utterly at variance with the character of a gentleman. Now in the bottle-hoax there was quite a different element; people were invited to the theatre to see that which they must have known was utterly impossible. In obedience to the laws which govern human nature, they readily accepted the invitation, and also, in accordance with the same laws,[372] they resented the affront they considered had been put upon them. A moral might be deduced from this, were it not for the fact, that if any hoax analogous to the bottle-trick were to be advertised to-morrow in a conspicuous manner, the proportion of dupes would be at least as great as it was in 1749. Perhaps greater.

Like everything else of its kind, the excitement surrounding the bottle hoax soon faded as new topics captured public interest. However, the trick has occasionally been revived with varying degrees of effect; Theodore Hook’s cruel and not particularly clever hoax, which made a house in Berners Street infamous and its occupants miserable, was just a version of the previously mentioned scam. Because of that, it loses any merit it might have had in the eyes of those who will sacrifice anything for a joke, as long as it is original and doesn’t disrupt their own comfort or convenience. Stripped of its originality, Hook’s stunt appears as a trick barely excusable for a boy and completely inconsistent with the character of a gentleman. In contrast, the bottle hoax involved a different element; people were invited to the theater to see something they must have known was totally impossible. Following the laws that govern human nature, they eagerly accepted the invitation and, likewise, according to those same laws, they felt offended by what they believed was an affront. A moral could be drawn from this, except that if any hoax similar to the bottle trick were to be advertised tomorrow in a prominent way, the number of gullible people would likely be at least as great as it was in 1749. Perhaps even greater.[372]


[373]

[373]

CHAPTER 14.
Frauds and impostors.

Quacks have been in existence so long, have received so much of the confidence of the people, and have afforded such capital to satirists and humourists, that they have become almost a necessity of our existence, from a literary as well as from a domestic point of view. They also add considerably to the revenue, if only through the impost upon patent medicines; for though many may be astonished and horrified to hear it, all patent medicines—i.e., all medicines which bear the inland-revenue stamp—are of necessity quack, and although many partisans may endeavour to prove that in the particular case each may select, this is not so, the qualification must fairly be applied, if applied to anything, to all medicines which are supposed to specifically remedy various diseases in various systems, no matter what the peculiarities of either. It can hardly matter whether the inventor of the general remedy be learned doctor or impudent charlatan, the medicine, as soon as ever it assumes specific powers, and is to be administered by or to anybody, is quack, not only in the proper acceptation of the term, but in its original signification. Quacks are, with a few notable exceptions, a very different body now from what they were in the last century, when they killed more than they cured, and when drugs were compounded with a recklessness which seems quite impossible in these moderate days. Just and proper legislation has clipped the wings of the vile impostors who used to trade upon the weaknesses[374] of human nature, and with the exception of those pestiferous practitioners whose advertisements are as noxious as their prescriptions, and who find the fittest possible media for publication, quacks are no longer in existence except as purveyors of patent medicines, pills, ointment, and plasters; and so if there is no cure there is also no kill. Formerly the quack prescribed and compounded, and then he was indeed dangerous, and we cannot better prove this than by means of a remark in the Gentleman’s Magazine of July 1734 about Joshua Ward, an advertisement in reference to whom is to be found in the historical part of this book. The paragraph in the old magazine runs: “There was an extraordinary advertisement in the newspapers this month concerning the great cures in all distempers performed with one medicine, a pill or drop, by Joshua Ward, Esq., lately arrived from Paris, where he had done the like cures. ’Twas said our physicians, particularly Sir Hans Sloane, had found out his secret, but ’twas judged so violent a prescription, that it would be deemed malepractice to apply it as a dose to old and young and in all cases.” And again, in the Obituary in the same periodical for 1736, there is an advertisement bearing on this so-called remedy rather unfavourably. It runs thus:—

Quacks have been around for so long, have gained so much trust from the public, and have provided so much material for satirists and humorists, that they've become almost essential to our lives, both literary and domestic. They also significantly contribute to revenue, primarily through taxes on patent medicines; because, although many might be shocked and horrified to hear it, all patent medicines—i.e., all medications with the inland revenue stamp—are necessarily quack remedies. While many supporters may try to prove otherwise for their chosen cases, the qualification must fairly apply, if applied to anything, to all medicines that are believed to specifically address various diseases in different bodies, regardless of any individual peculiarities. It hardly matters whether the inventor of the general remedy is a knowledgeable doctor or a blatant fraud; as soon as the medicine claims specific powers and is to be given by or to anyone, it is quack, both in the proper sense of the term and in its original meaning. Quacks are, with a few notable exceptions, quite different now than they were in the last century when they caused more harm than good, and when drugs were mixed with a recklessness that seems almost unimaginable today. Fair and appropriate laws have restrained the vile impostors who used to exploit the weaknesses of human nature, and aside from those harmful practitioners whose ads are as toxic as their prescriptions, and who find the best possible platforms for advertising, quacks no longer exist except as sellers of patent medicines, pills, ointments, and plasters; so if there's no cure, there's also no harm. In the past, the quack prescribed and created remedies, making them genuinely dangerous, and we can illustrate this well with a comment from the Gentleman’s Magazine from July 1734 about Joshua Ward, whose advertisement can be found in the historical section of this book. The paragraph in the old magazine reads: “There was an extraordinary advertisement in the newspapers this month regarding the great cures performed on all sorts of ailments with one medicine, a pill or drop, by Joshua Ward, Esq., who recently arrived from Paris, where he had achieved similar cures. It was said that our physicians, particularly Sir Hans Sloane, had discovered his secret, but it was deemed such a dangerous prescription that it would be considered malpractice to use it as a treatment for both young and old in all cases.” Furthermore, in the Obituary in the same publication for 1736, there’s an advertisement that presents this so-called remedy quite unfavorably. It reads so:—

Vesey Hart, Esq. of Lincoln’s Inn. About 15 Months ago he took the celebrated Pill, which had at first such violent effects as to throw him into Convulsions and deprive him of his Sight. On recovery he fell into Consumption.

Vesey Hart, Esq. of Lincoln’s Inn. About 15 months ago, he took the famous pill, which initially had such severe effects that it sent him into convulsions and caused him to lose his sight. After recovering, he developed consumption.

Joshua Ward was rather a celebrity about that time, even among quacks, as the following lines from the Gentleman’s Magazine of July 1734 will show. The heading is—

Joshua Ward was quite a celebrity around that time, even among charlatans, as the following lines from the Gentleman’s Magazine of July 1734 will show. The heading is—

Univ. Spec. On Ward’s Drops.

University Special On Ward’s Drops.

E Gregious Ward, you confidently brag about your achievements, That your one drop can cure all ailments:
When it in S——n cures ambition’s struggle
Or ends the Megrims of Sir James’ mind,
[375] Of wounded conscience when it heals the pain, And on reflection, it cheers the statesman’s heart; When it comes to women, the old M—ar—’s gust,
And cools before death the fever of his lust; When F——d it can show wit a taste,
Make Harriot devout or lorima pure;
Make scribbling B—dg— deviate into meaning,
Or grant Pope greater wit and talent;
Then I will believe that your ONE DROP will save 10,000 dying patients from the grave.

In the Daily Advertiser of June 10, 1736, there is a puff advertisement for Ward, which runs:—

In the Daily Advertiser of June 10, 1736, there is a promotional advertisement for Ward, which reads:—

We hear that by the Queen’s appointment, Joshua Ward, Esq; and eight or ten persons, who in extraordinary Cases have receiv’d great benefit by taking his remedies, attended at the Court at Kensington on monday night last, and his patients were examin’d before her Majesty by three eminent surgeons, several persons of quality being present, when her Majesty was graciously pleas’d to order money to be distributed amongst the patients, and congratulated Mr Ward on his great success.

We hear that by the Queen’s appointment, Joshua Ward, Esq; and about eight or ten people, who have greatly benefited from his remedies in rare cases, attended the Court at Kensington last Monday night. His patients were examined before her Majesty by three renowned surgeons, with several noble individuals present. Her Majesty graciously ordered money to be distributed among the patients and congratulated Mr. Ward on his impressive success.

In the Grub Street Journal of June 24 of the same year is an article on the paragraph, in which it is stated that only seven persons attended at the palace, and that these were proved to be impostors who were in collusion with Ward. The Journal is very strong against the quack, and the article concludes with the following lines, which are in fact a summary of what has been said in the criticism upon Ward’s fresh attempt to gull the public:—

In the Grub Street Journal from June 24 of the same year, there's an article about the paragraph, stating that only seven people showed up at the palace, and they were identified as frauds working together with Ward. The Journal takes a strong stance against the con artist, and the article wraps up with the following lines, which really summarize the criticism of Ward’s latest attempt to deceive the public:—

Seven wonderful Cures.

Seven amazing cures.

One no longer felt his intense rheumatic pain:
A Second saw much better than before:
Three cured of stone, a terrible disease far worse, It's believed that some still have a stone in their bladder: A Sixth brought gravel sealed in a bottle and corked, Which Drop and Pill, he said, worked through urine; But questions, asked the patient, were all unraveled; Much more than who the Doctor was then upset. The last little woman, but a big glutton,
Who eats two raw legs of mutton in one meal:[376] No wonder, since inside her stomach lay A wolf that was always hunting for food, day and night: But when he smelled the Pill, he headed straight for shelter. Run directly into her stomach in a chaotic manner.

There is no necessity to take trouble for the purpose of discovering the origin of quacks. It is evident that they “came natural” as soon as ever there was a chance for them, and it is but right to suppose that before quackery became a question of money-making, it had an existence, the outcome of a love people have innately for prescribing and administering to each other, relics of which may still be seen in out-of-the-way parts of the country. Some people imagine that quackery and the belief, still current in various parts of Great Britain, that a seventh son, particularly if the son of a seventh son, possesses medical powers, had originally something to do with each other. That quackery in general was caused by this quaint conceit is not to be supposed, yet the belief in the seventh-son doctrine is well worthy of note. The vulgar mind seems from the earliest ages to have been impressed by the number seven, and there are various ways of accounting for this. Chambers, in his “Book of Days,” says that it is easy to see in what way the Mosaic narrative gave sanctity to this number in connection with the days of the week, and led to usages which influence the social life of all the countries of Europe. “But a sort of mystical goodness or power has attached itself to the number in many other ways. Seven wise men, seven champions of Christendom, seven sleepers, seven-league boots, seven ages of man, seven hills, seven senses, seven planets, seven metals, seven sisters, seven stars, seven wonders of the world—all have had their day of favour; albeit that the number has been awkwardly interfered with by modern discoveries concerning metals, planets, stars, and wonders of the world. Added to the above list is the group of seven sons, especially in relation to the youngest or seventh of the seven; and more especially[377] still if this person happen to be the seventh son of a seventh son. It is now perhaps impossible to discover in what country, or at what time, the notion originated, but a notion there certainly is, chiefly in provincial districts, that a seventh son has something peculiar about him. For the most part, the imputed peculiarity is a healing power, a faculty of curing diseases by the touch, or by some other means. The instances of this belief are numerous enough. There is a rare pamphlet called ‘The Quack Doctor’s Speech,’ published in the time of Charles II. The reckless Earl of Rochester delivered this speech on one occasion, when dressed in character, and mounted on a stage as a charlatan. The speech, amid much that suited that licentious age, but would be frowned down by modern society, contained an enumeration of the doctor’s wonderful qualities, among which was that of being a ‘seventh son of a seventh son,’ and therefore clever as a curer of bodily ills. The matter is only mentioned as affording a sort of proof of the existence of a sort of popular belief. In Cornwall, the peasants and the miners entertain this notion; they believe that a seventh son can cure the king’s evil by the touch. The mode of proceeding usually is to stroke the part affected thrice gently, to blow upon it thrice, to repeat a form of words, and to give a perforated coin, or some other object, to be worn as an amulet. At Bristol, about forty years ago, there was a man who was always called ‘doctor’ simply because he was the seventh son of a seventh son. The family of the Joneses of Muddfi, in Wales, is said to have presented seven sons to each of many successive generations, of whom the seventh son always became a doctor—apparently from a conviction that he had an inherited qualification to start with. In Ireland, the seventh son of a seventh son is believed to possess prophetical as well as healing power. A few years ago a Dublin shopkeeper finding his errand-boy to be generally very dilatory in his duties, inquired into the cause, and found that the boy,[378] being the seventh son of a seventh son, his services were often in requisition among the poorer neighbours, in a way that brought in a good many pieces of silver. Early in the present century there was a man in Hampshire, the seventh son of a seventh son, who was consulted by the villagers as a doctor, and who carried about with him a collection of crutches and sticks, purporting to have once belonged to persons whom he had cured of lameness. Cases are not wanting, also, in which the seventh daughter is placed upon a similar pinnacle of greatness. In Scotland the spaewife or fortune-teller frequently announces herself as the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, to enhance her claims to prophetic power. Even so late as 1851, an inscription was seen on a window in Plymouth, denoting that a certain doctress was the third seventh daughter!—which the world was probably intended to interpret as the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. . . . . France, as well as our own country, has a belief in the seventh-son mystery. The Journal de Loiret, a French provincial newspaper, in 1854 stated that, in Orleans, if a family has seven sons and no daughter, the seventh is called a Marcou, is branded with a fleur-de-lis, and is believed to possess the power of curing the king’s evil. The Marcou breathes on the part affected, or else the patient touches the Marcou’s fleur-de-lis. In the year above named there was a famous Marcou in Orleans named Foulon; he was a cooper by trade, and was known as ‘le beau Marcou.’ Simple peasants used to come to visit him from many leagues in all directions, particularly in Passion-week, when his ministrations were believed to be most efficacious. On the night of Good Friday, from midnight to sunrise, the chance of cure was supposed to be especially good, and on this account four or five hundred persons would assemble. Great disturbances hence arose; and as there was evidence, to all except the silly dupes themselves, that Foulon made use of their superstition to enrich himself, the police[379] succeeded, but not without much opposition, in preventing these assemblages. In some of the states of Germany there used formerly to be a custom for the reigning prince to stand sponsor to a seventh son (no daughter intervening) of any of his subjects. Whether still acted upon is doubtful; but there was an incident lately which bore on the old custom in a curious way. A West-Hartlepool newspaper stated that Mr J. V. Curths, a German, residing in that busy colliery town, became, towards the close of 1857, the father of one of those prodigies—a seventh son. Probably he himself was a Saxe-Gothan by birth; at any rate he wrote to the Prince Consort, reminding him of the old German custom, and soliciting the honour of his Royal Highness’s sponsorship to the child. The Prince was doubtless a little puzzled by this appeal, as he often must have been by the strange appeals made to him. Nevertheless, a reply was sent in the Prince’s name, very complimentary to his countryman, and enclosing a substantial souvenir for the little child; but the newspaper paragraph is not sufficiently clear for us to be certain whether the sponsorship really was assented to, and, if so, how it was performed.” It is not at all likely, proud as the late Prince was of his countrymen, and of Germans generally, that he took upon himself the pains and penalties of sponsorship to this miraculous infant, whose father was doubtless well satisfied with the douceur he received, and never expected even that.

There's no need to go through the trouble of finding out where quacks come from. It's clear they "came naturally" as soon as the opportunity arose, and it’s reasonable to assume that before quackery became a way to make money, it existed because of a natural human tendency to prescribe and care for one another, remnants of which can still be seen in remote areas. Some people think that quackery and the belief, still common in various parts of Great Britain, that a seventh son, especially if he is the son of a seventh son, has medical powers, are connected. While it's not likely that quackery arose solely from this quirky belief, the idea of the seventh son is worth noting. The common mindset has been fascinated by the number seven since ancient times, and there are many explanations for this. Chambers, in his "Book of Days," points out how the biblical narration gave a sacred status to this number in relation to the days of the week, influencing social practices across Europe. "But a kind of mystical goodness or power has been associated with the number in many other ways. Seven wise men, seven champions of Christendom, seven sleepers, seven-league boots, seven ages of man, seven hills, seven senses, seven planets, seven metals, seven sisters, seven stars, seven wonders of the world—all have had their moments of popularity, even if modern discoveries about metals, planets, stars, and wonders have complicated things. Adding to this list is the group of seven sons, particularly concerning the youngest or seventh of the seven; even more so if this person is the seventh son of a seventh son. It's probably impossible to pinpoint the origin of this notion in a specific country or time, but there is certainly a belief, especially in rural areas, that a seventh son has something special about him. Usually, the believed special trait is a healing ability, a power to cure ailments through touch or other means. Numerous instances of this belief exist. A rare pamphlet called ‘The Quack Doctor’s Speech,’ published during the reign of Charles II, recounts a reckless Earl of Rochester delivering a speech while dressed as a charlatan on stage. The speech included many topics suited to that wild era, which modern society would view unfavorably, and boasted about the doctor’s extraordinary qualities, one being that he was a ‘seventh son of a seventh son,’ making him talented as a healer. This is mentioned merely to provide evidence of a prevalent public belief. In Cornwall, both peasants and miners hold this idea; they think a seventh son can cure the king’s evil by touch. The usual method involves gently stroking the affected area three times, blowing on it three times, saying a specific phrase, and giving a perforated coin or another object to be worn as an amulet. In Bristol, about forty years ago, there was a man always referred to as ‘doctor’ simply because he was the seventh son of a seventh son. The Joneses of Muddfi in Wales are said to have had seven sons in many generations, with the seventh son always becoming a doctor—likely because of a belief that he had some inherited talent. In Ireland, the seventh son of a seventh son is thought to have both prophetic and healing powers. A few years ago, a shopkeeper in Dublin found that his errand boy was often slow because, as the seventh son of a seventh son, he was frequently asked to help poorer neighbors, bringing him some extra money. In the early 1800s, there was a seventh son of a seventh son in Hampshire who was sought after by locals as a doctor and carried around crutches and sticks supposedly once owned by people he had healed of lameness. There are also cases where a seventh daughter is believed to have similar significance. In Scotland, fortune tellers, or spaewives, often claim to be the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter to strengthen their claims of prophetic abilities. As late as 1851, an inscription was noted on a window in Plymouth announcing a certain doctress as the third seventh daughter! — which was likely meant to indicate that she was the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. France, like our own country, also has beliefs surrounding the seventh-son mystery. The Journal de Loiret, a French provincial newspaper, reported in 1854 that in Orleans, if a family has seven sons and no daughters, the seventh is called a Marcou, marked with a fleur-de-lis, and believed to possess the ability to cure the king’s evil. The Marcou breathes on the affected area, or the patient touches the Marcou’s fleur-de-lis. In that same year, a famous Marcou named Foulon, who was a cooper by trade, was well-known in Orleans. Simple peasants traveled from far and wide to see him, especially during Passion week, when his healing was believed to be most effective. On Good Friday night, from midnight to sunrise, the chance of a cure was thought to be especially good, leading to the gathering of four to five hundred people. This caused significant disturbances, and despite evidence to everyone but the gullible that Foulon exploited their superstitions for profit, the police eventually managed, though not without resistance, to stop these gatherings. In some German states, it used to be customary for the ruling prince to act as sponsor for the seventh son (with no daughters) of any subject. Whether this tradition still occurs is uncertain; however, a curious event recently related to this old custom took place. A West-Hartlepool newspaper reported that Mr. J. V. Curths, a German living in that busy mining town, became the father of such a prodigy—a seventh son—at the end of 1857. He was likely a Saxe-Gothan by birth; in any case, he wrote to the Prince Consort, reminding him of the old German custom and requesting his Royal Highness’s sponsorship for the child. The Prince must have found this request puzzling, as he often did with strange appeals. Nevertheless, a reply was sent in the Prince’s name, kindly acknowledging his countryman and including a substantial gift for the child; however, the newspaper piece is not clear enough for us to know if the sponsorship was actually accepted and how it might have been carried out. It seems unlikely, as proud as the late Prince was of his countrymen and generally of Germans, that he took on the responsibilities and implications of being the sponsor for this miraculous child, whose father was undoubtedly content with the gift he received and probably never expected even that.

Saffold was an early humbug who depended mainly upon doggerel rhyme for attraction. It is to be hoped that his wares were better than his numbers, or else the deaths of many must have lain heavy on his soul. One of his bills, enumerating his address and claims upon the attention of the public, informs us that of him

Saffold was an early fraud who relied mostly on poorly crafted rhymes to draw attention. Let's hope that his products were better than his verses, or else the deaths of many must have weighed heavily on his conscience. One of his advertisements, listing his address and appeals for public attention, tells us that of him

The sick might have advice for free, And good medicines are cheap, if that pleases you. To treat any curable disease.
[380] It’s Saffold’s Pills, way better than the others,
Rightfully earned the title of best
In healing through the Cause, completely removing Of Scurvy, Dropsy, Fevers, Kidney Stones, and Gout.
The Head, Stomach, Belly, and the Lower Back, they
Will cleanse and heal, whether you work or play.
His Pills have often brought praise to their Maker,
Cured in all weather conditions, even during the dog days of summer.
In short, no purging medicine is made, can Cure more diseases in both men and women,
Than his inexpensive pills, but three shillings per box.
Each box contains thirty-six pills, I’m sure. As good as anything ever made to cure scurvy. The half box of eighteen pills for eighteen pence,
Though it is too cheap, in any man's opinion.

At the foot of the bill, after a lot of puffery, he breaks out into rhyme once more:—

At the bottom of the bill, after a lot of hype, he breaks into rhyme once more:—

Some jealous men, feeling hurt, might say,
What bills still need to be given away? New people arrive in London every day.
Trusting Solomon's advice is right,
I will do everything I can with all my strength.
Also, unless an English proverb is false, Practice brings experience and makes one wise.
Experimental Knowledge, I object,
In legitimate Arts and Science, it's the best,
Instead of Finis, Saffold ends with Rest.

Another of his bills, which were various and plentiful, began thus:—

Another one of his bills, which were numerous and abundant, began like this:—

Dear Friends, let your illness be as God intends,
Pray to Him for a cure, and trust Saffold’s skill; Who can be such a healing instrument,
It will heal you to your heart's desire.
His medicines are affordable and really effective.
Being just as safe as your everyday food—
Saffold can do what can be done, by
Either Physick or real Astrology.
His best pills, rare elixir, and powder,
Each day, praise him more and more. Dear fellow countrymen, I hope you are wise enough.[381] When men gossip about him, don’t believe their lies,
But go, see him, and trust your own eyes.
Then he will say you are trustworthy and nice.
Try it out before you make a judgment, and speak based on your own experience.

At another time the muse informs us, among other things in connection with the great Saffold, that

At another time, the muse tells us, among other things related to the great Saffold, that

He knows some who are true knaves, And have more attitude and frustration than common sense,
Will poorly reward his skill and effort.

He hath practised Astrology above 15 Years, and hath License to practise Physick, and he thanks God for it, hath great Experience and wonderful Success in both those Arts, giving to doubtful People and by God’s Blessing, cureth the Sick of any Age or Sex or Distemper though given over by Others, and never so bad (if curable); therefore let none despair of a Cure, but try him.

He has been practicing astrology for over 15 years and has a license to practice medicine. He is grateful to God for it, has extensive experience, and remarkable success in both fields, providing hope to uncertain individuals. With God's blessing, he can heal the sick of any age, gender, or condition, even those others have given up on, and no matter how severe (if it's treatable). So, let no one lose hope for a cure; just give him a try.

Yet some conceited Fools will ask how he came to be able to do such great Cures, and to foretell such strange Things, and to know how to make such rare and powerful Medicines, as his best Pills, Elixir and Diet Drinks are, and wherefore he doth publish the same in Print? But he will answer such dark Animals thus:

Yet some cocky fools will ask how he was able to perform such amazing cures, predict such strange things, and know how to create such rare and powerful medicines, like his best Pills, Elixir, and Diet Drinks, and why he publishes them in print. But he will respond to such clueless people like this:

It has pleased God, the King of Heaven,
He has been granted knowledge by Him,
And in him, there can be no greater sin,
Than to hide his talent in a napkin.
His candle is lit, and he will not under A bushel said it, let the world be amazed:
Even if he is slandered by people like that, Just like knaves' hearts, lackbrains are fools.

I request a favourable Construction upon this Publick way of Practice (And as I am a Graduate Physician) should wholly omit to appear in Print, as well in this Disease as I have at all Times in all other Diseases, only in Opposition to the Ignorant, that pretend to Cure, and to prevent the ruine of them that suffer and I see daily throw themselves upon ignorant and outlandish Pretenders and others, to the Patient’s utter ruine of Body and Purse. And upon this Consideration alone, I was persuaded rather to adventure the censure of some, than conceal that which may be of great use to many.

Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. I ask for a positive attitude toward this public way of doing things. (And as a licensed physician) should completely avoid publishing, just as I have in all other diseases, solely in response to those who are ignorant and claim to provide cures, and to prevent the ruin of those who suffer. I see daily how they turn to uninformed and foreign pretenders, leading to the patients’ total devastation of both health and finances. And for this reason alone, I decided it was better to face criticism from some than to hide what could be extremely helpful to many.

One other specimen of this artist’s verse and we will let him follow his predecessors. It may be as well to mention[382] that when Saffold left the scene of his labours, “his mantle” was supposed to fall on one John Case, who followed in his footsteps so closely that the lines which had done for one quack were often made to do for the other.

One more example of this artist’s verse and we’ll let him join his predecessors. It’s worth mentioning[382] that when Saffold stepped away from his work, “his mantle” was thought to have passed to a guy named John Case, who imitated him so closely that the tricks that worked for one quack were often used by the other.

Saffold decides, as expressed in his Bills, When asked sincerely, not jokingly;
He can heal when God Almighty decides,
But can't protect against diseases.
If people choose to live excessively and sin, He can’t help it if they get sick again.
He will share this great truth with the world. No one can heal faster than those who heal this effectively.

Dr John Case was a contemporary of Dr Radcliffe, and a noted quack who united the professions of an astrologer and a physician. He took the house in which Lilly had resided, and over his door was a vile distich which was said to have brought him more money than Dryden earned by all his works. Upon his pill-boxes he placed the following curious rhyme:—

Dr. John Case was a contemporary of Dr. Radcliffe and a well-known fraud who combined the roles of astrologer and physician. He took the house where Lilly had lived, and above his door was a disgusting couplet that supposedly earned him more money than Dryden made from all his works. On his pillboxes, he had the following curious rhyme:—

Here are 14 pills for 3 pence. Enough is determined by each person's own conscience.

It is almost impossible to find out when quacks were not, and as we have before remarked, as long as there have been advertisements, whether in newspapers or elsewhere, these cunning rogues have been fully awake to their advantages and uses. One effusion, published as a handbill in the time of William and Mary, is noticeable, as, though the advertisers call themselves physicians, there is reason to doubt their right to the title, and to believe that the college was anything but what we now understand by the word. The bill proclaims itself as an

It’s nearly impossible to find a time when charlatans weren’t around, and as we mentioned earlier, since the advent of advertisements—whether in newspapers or other forms—these sly tricksters have been fully aware of how to take advantage of them. One particular handbill from the time of William and Mary stands out because, although the advertisers refer to themselves as physicians, there’s good reason to doubt their credentials and to think that the college they mention was far from what we understand by that term today. The bill declares itself as an

Advertisement.

Ad.

The Physitians of the Colledge, that us’d to consult twice a Week for the benefit of the Sick at the Consultation House, at the Carved Angel and Crown in King-street, near Guildhall, meet now four times a Week; and therefore give Publick Notice, that on Mondays, Wednesdays,[383] Thursdays and Fridays, from two in the afternoon till six, they may be advised by the known Poor, and meaner Families for nothing; and that their Expectations and Demands from the middle Rank shall be moderate: but as for the Rich and Noble, Liberality is inseparable from their Quality and Breeding.

The physicians at the college, who used to meet twice a week to help the sick at the Consultation House, located at the Carved Angel and Crown on King Street, near Guildhall, now meet four times a week. Therefore, they are giving public notice that on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, from 2 PM to 6 PM, they will provide advice to the known poor and less fortunate families for free; and that their fees for the middle class will be reasonable. However, for the wealthy and noble, generosity is expected as part of their status and upbringing.

This is, to say the least, peculiar, the quaint use of the word “advised” seeming very strange, while the wind-up shows that whoever and whatever the physicians may have been, they were not likely to lose sight of the main chance. But their notice is feeble compared with another handbill of the same period, which is of the most dogmatic order, and is called

This is, to put it mildly, odd, and the old-fashioned use of the word “advised” feels very strange, while the conclusion suggests that whoever the doctors were, they were clearly not going to overlook a good opportunity. However, their notice is weak compared to another handbill from the same time, which is very authoritative and is titled

A friendly and seasonable Advertisement concerning the Dog-days, by
Nath. Merry, Philo-Chim.

A friendly and timely notice about the Dog Days, by
Nath. Merry, Philo-Chim.

In regard that there are many that perish in and about this City, &c. through an evil custom, arising from a false opinion That it is not safe to take Physick in the Extreams of Heat and Cold or in the Dog days; and some exclude old People, Women with Child and little Children, from the use of Medicine; which is as much as to say, That God hath ordained no Medicine for such Times and such Ages, which would be absurd to imagine, seeing we know there is no Time, Age nor Disease exempted from proper homogenial and effectual Means (with God’s Blessing) only against Death there is no Medicine, the Time of which to us is uncertain. From the aforesaid Mistakes many labour under the tyranny of their Diseases, till the Catastrophe end in Death (before the Time come which they have alotted for their Cure) which might by timely and suitable Remedies be prevented. It’s granted pro confesso that there is a sort of Dogmatical Medicines, that is unfit to be exhibited in those Times, and are not innocent at any Time, being impregnated with venomenous Beams, which by their virulent Hostility invade the vital Œconomy of the Body. But you may have Archeal or Vital medicines, truly adapted for all Times; being divested of their Crudities and heterogene Qualities, by a true Separation of the pure from the impure, and impregnated with Beams of Light, which give their Influences and refreshing Glances upon the vital Faculties, expels Venoms, alters Ferments, co-unites with Nature and re-unites its powers to their due Œconomy, and such Medicines being most natural and most powerful in the most deplorable Diseases being timely taken are most effectual, and are no more to be omitted at any time than foods, and are altogether as safe.

Regarding the many people who suffer and die in and around this city, due to a harmful practice based on a misconception that it's unsafe to use medicine during extreme heat and cold or in the dog days; some even exclude the elderly, pregnant women, and small children from receiving medical treatment. This suggests that God hasn't provided medicine for certain times and age groups, which is absurd to think about, considering we know that no time, age, or illness is beyond the reach of proper and effective treatments (with God’s blessing). There is no medicine against death, the timing of which is uncertain for us. Due to these misconceptions, many suffer under the burden of their diseases until the inevitable end comes (before the time they have set for their recovery), which could be avoided with timely and appropriate remedies. It is acknowledged that there are certain "dogmatical medicines" unsuitable for those times, which are harmful at any time, as they contain toxic properties that invade the body's vital processes. However, you can find vital medications that are truly suitable for all times; they have been refined to remove impurities, infused with positive energy that influences and revitalizes the body's essential functions, expels toxins, alters imbalances, aligns with nature, and restores its natural balance. Such medicines, being the most natural and powerful for the most serious diseases when taken at the right time, are just as essential as food and are equally safe.

[384]

[384]

And so on at length, until Nath. Merry divulges the secret that he is the man for the dog-days, and that all others are impostors, which in common with many remarks of the kind, found in most advertisements of the same and other times issued by pretended curers of all known and many unknown disorders, lead us to the belief that however willing quacks have always been to impose upon the credulous themselves, they have been careful enough to expose the presumption of their rivals: a merciful dispensation of providence, which has enabled the statements of one rogue to be balanced, and to a certain extent neutralised, by those of another, and so the remedy is found in the disease when at its worst. Had it not been for the attacks made by empirics upon each other throughout the last century, qualified medical men would have stood a very bad chance, and as it is they seem to have often been obliged to join the ranks of the rascals from sheer inability to get a living without pandering to the popular taste for infallible remedies and things generally unknown to the pharmacopœia. Here is the commencement of an appeal made just prior to the year 1700 by one quack, which consists in a warning against all others of the same profession, and which shows how anxious the writer is for the public benefit, except where his own is immediately concerned:—

And so on and on, until Nath. Merry reveals the secret that he is the best option during the dog days, and that everyone else is a fraud. This, along with many similar comments found in various advertisements from both his time and ours, issued by supposed healers of all known and many unknown ailments, leads us to believe that while quacks have always been ready to deceive the gullible, they have been careful enough to expose the arrogance of their competitors. This is a fortunate design of providence that has allowed the claims of one scam artist to be balanced, and to some extent countered, by those of another, so the solution is discovered when the problem is at its worst. If it hadn't been for the attacks made by these charlatans on one another over the last century, qualified medical professionals would have had a really tough time, and as it stands, they often seem to have been forced to join the ranks of the dishonest just to make a living, by catering to the public’s desire for foolproof remedies and things that aren't really in the pharmacopoeia. Here’s the beginning of an appeal made just before 1700 by one charlatan, which serves as a warning against all other practitioners in the same field, showing just how eager the writer is for the public's welfare, except when it directly affects his own interests:—

A Caution to the Unwary.

A Warning to the Unwary.

’Tis generally acknowledged throughout all Europe, that no Nation has been so fortunate in producing such eminent Physicians, as this Kingdom of ours; and ’tis as obvious to every Eye, that no Country was ever pestered with so many ignorant Quacks or Empirics. The Enthusiast in Divinity having no sooner acted his Part, and had his Exit, but on the same Stage, from his Shop (or some worse Place) enters the Enthusiast in Physicks: yesterday a Taylor, Heelmaker, Barber, Serving Man, Rope Dancer, etc., to-day per saltum a learned Doctor, able to instruct Esculapius himself, for he never obliged Mankind yet with a Panacæa, an universal Pill or Powder that could cure all Diseases, which now every Post can direct you to, though it proves only the Hangman’s Remedy for all Diseases by Death. Pudet hæc opprobria dici; for[385] shame, my dear Countrymen, reassume your Reasons, and expose not your Bodies and Purses to the handling of such illiterate Fellows, who never had the Education of a Grammar-School, much less of an University.

It’s widely recognized across Europe that no country has been as fortunate in producing such outstanding physicians as our own Kingdom. It's also clear to everyone that no place has ever been plagued by so many ignorant charlatans or quacks. As soon as a religious enthusiast has finished his act and exits, another one enters the stage from his shop (or an even worse place): the enthusiast in medicine. One day, he’s a tailor, shoemaker, barber, servant, or rope dancer, and the next day he’s suddenly a learned doctor, capable of teaching Asclepius himself. He has never provided humanity with a panacea, a universal pill or powder that cures all ailments, yet now every post office can point you to one, which ultimately proves to be only the hangman’s remedy for all diseases—death. It’s a shame to even mention this; for shame, my dear countrymen, regain your reason, and don’t expose your bodies and wallets to the whims of such ill-educated individuals who never had the education of a grammar school, let alone a university.

Nor be ye so irrational as to imagine anything extraordinary (unless it be Ignorance) in a Pair of outlandish Whiskers, tho’ he’s so impudent to tell you he has been Physician to 3 Emperours and 9 Kings when in his own Country he durst not give Physick to a Cobbler.

Nor be you so unreasonable as to think there's anything unusual (unless it’s Ignorance) about a pair of strange whiskers, even though he's bold enough to say he’s been a physician to 3 emperors and 9 kings when in his own country he wouldn't dare to treat a cobbler.

Nor be gulled with another sort of Impostor, who allures you to him with Cure without Money, but when he once has got you into his Clutches, he handles you as unmercifully as he does unskilfully.

Nor be deceived by another type of con artist, who lures you in with Treatment without Cost, but once he has you in his grasp, he treats you as harshly as he does clumsily.

Nor be ye imposed on by the Pretence of any Herculean Medicine, that shall with four Doses at 5s. a Dose, cure the most inveterate Complaint, and Distempers not to be eradicated (in the Opinion of the most learned in all Ages) with less than a Renovation of all the Humours in the whole Body.

Nor let yourselves be fooled by the claim of any Herculean medicine that promises to cure the most stubborn ailments with just four doses at 5s. each, when those ailments, according to the most knowledgeable people throughout history, cannot be cured without completely refreshing all the humors in the entire body.

These and the like Abuses (too numerous here to be mentioned) have induced me to continue this public Way of Information, that you may be honestly dealt with, and perfectly cured, repairing to him, who with God’s Blessing on his Studies and 20 Years successful Practice in this City of London hath attained to the easiest and speediest way of curing.

These and similar issues (too many to list here) have led me to keep this public information channel going, so you can receive honest advice and be completely healed. Turn to him, who, with God's blessing on his studies and 20 years of successful practice in this city of London, has figured out the easiest and fastest way to cure.

Then follows the puff which this disinterested person gives to his own wares and powers, and if it is to be believed, he certainly proves to demonstration that he is as good as the others are bad. The next item we have is a bill of the early eighteenth century, headed by a rude woodcut of a unicorn’s horn. There is no address on it, and it looks as though used while travelling round the country, in which case the High-German’s lodging for the time being would be written or printed on the back, or supplemented in one of the ways usual among itinerant charlatans:—

Then comes the hype that this unbiased person gives to his own products and abilities, and if we believe it, he definitely proves that he is as good as the others are bad. The next item we have is a bill from the early eighteenth century, featuring a crude woodcut of a unicorn's horn. There’s no address on it, and it seems like it was used while traveling around the country, in which case the High-German’s temporary lodging would be written or printed on the back, or added in one of the common ways used by traveling charlatans:—

The High-German, Master of the Waxwork,

The High-German, Master of the Waxwork,

Hath an Unicorn’s Horn that was found in the Deserts of Arabia, the Powder whereof does several wonderful Cures, whereof I was advised by several Doctors to Publish the same in Print; the Cures that it has done are as follow:

Has a Unicorn's Horn that was found in the Deserts of Arabia, the powder of which has several amazing healing properties. I was advised by several doctors to publish this information in print; the cures it has performed are as follows:

I have in my Travels, by the Virtues of this Powder, saved the Lives of several Gentlewomen in Child-Bed, which could not be Delivered before they took the Powder.

I have, in my travels, saved the lives of several women in labor thanks to this powder, who could not deliver before taking it.

[386]

[386]

About October the Fifth, 1702, I was in the Town of Hampton, in the County of Gloucester, at Mr Gardners, at the Sign of the White-Hart, where I heard that one Mrs Webb was in Child-Bed and could not be Delivered, so that Doctor Farr of the said Town, the Midwife and all Women left her off for Dead, upon which I sent my Landlady with a little of this Powder, the Quantity whereof would lie upon a Six-pence, which the Gentlewoman took, and was Delivered in less than a Quarter of an Hour; Doctor Farr has given it under his Hand, and some other Gentlemen of the Town can testify, that this Powder was the saving of her Life (under God).

About October 5, 1702, I was in the town of Hampton, in Gloucester County, at Mr. Gardner's, the Sign of the White Hart, where I heard that a woman named Mrs. Webb was in childbirth and couldn't deliver. Doctor Farr from the town, the midwife, and all the women had given up on her, thinking she was dead. I sent my landlady with a bit of this powder, about the amount that would sit on a sixpence, which the woman took, and she delivered in less than fifteen minutes. Doctor Farr has written this down, and some other gentlemen from the town can testify that this powder saved her life (with God's help).

Likewise this Powder is a certain Cure for the Kings-Evil, when it breaks and runs: The Powder must be put on a Linnen Cloath and applied to the Place, and take as much as will lie on a Six-pence for two Mornings in warm Ale.

Likewise, this powder is a sure cure for the King's Evil when it breaks and oozes. The powder should be placed on a linen cloth and applied to the area, and take as much as will fit on a sixpence for two mornings in warm ale.

The College of Physitians in London, hearing of this Powder, they came to my Lodging, on purpose to see this Horn, and desired me to let them have some Experience to try if it would Expel Poyson, upon which they sent for two Dogs and Poysoned them both, and asked me if I could save one of them, whereupon I took a little Powder of this Horn in a Spoonful of Milk, and gave it to one of them, that which I gave it to was saved, and the other died in their Presence, after which the Doctors offered me a great Sum of Money for this Horn, which I was not willing to part with.

The College of Physicians in London, hearing about this powder, came to my place specifically to see this horn. They asked if I could provide some for them to test whether it could expel poison. They then sent for two dogs and poisoned them both, asking if I could save one of them. I took a bit of the horn powder in a spoonful of milk and gave it to one of the dogs; the one I treated was saved, while the other died in front of them. After that, the doctors offered me a large sum of money for the horn, which I didn’t want to sell.

If there are any Gentlewomen desirous to Buy any of this Powder, I Sell it at Reasonable Rates, and it may be kept Ten Years and not lose its Virtue.

If there are any ladies interested in buying this powder, I sell it at reasonable prices, and it can be stored for ten years without losing its effectiveness.

Finis.

The End.

In Queen Anne’s time, and during the first years of the Hanoverian succession, quackery does not seem to have impaired its professors’ positions in society, providing they had other claims to consideration, and even the most impudent impostors obtained rank and celebrity under circumstances which hardly seem possible. Listen to the following: “Sir William Read, originally a tailor or a cobbler, became progressively a mountebank and a quack doctor, and gained, in his case, the equivocal honour of knighthood from Queen Anne. He is said to have practised by ‘the light of nature:’ and though he could not read, he could ride in his own chariot, and treat his company with good punch out of a golden bowl. He had an uncommon share of impudence;[387] a few scraps of Latin in his bills made the ignorant suppose him to be wonderfully learned. He did not seek his reputation in small places, but practised at that high seat of learning, Oxford; and in one of his addresses he called upon the Vice-Chancellor, University, and the City, to vouch for his cures—as, indeed, he did upon the people of the three kingdoms. Blindness vanished before him, and he even deigned to practise in other distempers; but he defied all competition as an oculist. Queen Anne and George I. honoured Read with the care of their eyes; from which one would have thought the rulers, like the ruled, as dark intellectually as Taylor’s (his brother quack) coach-horses were corporeally, of which it was said five were blind in consequence of their master having exercised his skill upon them.” Dr Radcliffe mentions this humbug as “Read the mountebank, who has assurance enough to come to our table up-stairs at Garraway’s, swears he’ll stake his coach and six horses, his two blacks, and as many silver trumpets, against a dinner at Pontack’s.” Read died at Rochester, May 24, 1715. After Queen Anne had knighted him and Dr Hannes, the following lines were published:—

In Queen Anne’s era and during the early years of the Hanoverian succession, being a quack didn’t seem to hurt the social standing of its practitioners, as long as they had other credentials to back them up. Even the boldest frauds managed to gain prominence and recognition in ways that are hard to believe. Take, for instance, this: “Sir William Read, who originally worked as a tailor or cobbler, eventually became a charlatan and a quack doctor, earning the dubious honor of knighthood from Queen Anne. He allegedly practiced by ‘the light of nature;’ and while he couldn't read, he could drive his own chariot and serve his guests good punch from a golden bowl. He had an extraordinary amount of audacity; a few Latin phrases on his advertisements made the uneducated think he was highly learned. He didn’t confine his practice to small towns but worked at Oxford, that prestigious center of learning; in one of his speeches, he called upon the Vice-Chancellor, the University, and the City to vouch for his cures—as he did with the people across the three kingdoms. Blindness disappeared in his presence, and he even dared to treat other ailments, but he excelled as an eye doctor. Both Queen Anne and George I. trusted Read with their eyesight; you would think that the rulers, just like the ruled, were as intellectually blind as Taylor’s (his fellow quack) coaching horses, five of which were said to be blind due to their master’s treatments. Dr. Radcliffe referred to this fraud as “Read the mountebank, who had the audacity to come to our table upstairs at Garraway’s, claiming he’d bet his coach and six horses, his two black horses, and a bunch of silver trumpets against a dinner at Pontack’s.” Read passed away in Rochester on May 24, 1715. After Queen Anne had knighted him along with Dr. Hannes, the following lines were published:—

The Queen, like Heaven, shines the same on everyone,
Her favors now fall indiscriminately:
Great Read and slender Hannes, both knighted, show That none of their honors should be owed to merit. That Catholic doctrine is completely dismissed,
Or Ralph hadn't been a duke and Read hadn't been a knight.
So that no one can argue for their virtue or knowledge,
This has no elegance and that is barely legible.

The Ralph referred to here is the first Duke of Montague, a title that has already appeared conspicuously in these pages. In the matter of the bestowal of titles, especially knighthoods and baronetcies, we have no particular reason to congratulate ourselves now, but we have certainly improved since the days when rank was sold or bestowed upon the most audacious adventurers. So far as merit is concerned,[388] we are, however, much in the same position as we were in the days of Read and Ralph; but ability always was an unmarketable commodity, and now it seems to secure its unhappy possessors the decided enmity of those more favoured beings whose dependence is upon patronage, and not upon personal powers, and who, in humble imitation of the fox of fable, affect to despise any such common thing as cleverness. And unfortunately this observation has a far wider bearing than on the mere bestowal of titles. It refers to things generally, and to the means by which many clever men are deprived of their subsistence, and driven to the wall by the nepotism and friendly feeling so often exercised in favour of the most arrant impostors, or on behalf of those who are just clever enough to conceal their ignorance and inability, to rob others of their ideas, or to foist second-hand notions upon a credulous and misjudging public.

The Ralph mentioned here is the first Duke of Montague, a title that has already appeared prominently in these pages. When it comes to granting titles, especially knighthoods and baronetcies, we don’t have much to feel proud about today, but we have certainly made progress since the times when ranks were sold or given to the boldest con artists. In terms of merit, though, we’re still in the same spot as we were during the days of Read and Ralph; ability has never been valued like it should be, and now it seems to earn its unfortunate holders the outright hostility of those who rely on patronage rather than personal talent. These people, in a humble imitation of the cunning fox from fables, pretend to look down on something as ordinary as intelligence. Sadly, this observation extends beyond just the awarding of titles. It relates to broader issues and the ways many talented individuals are left without support and pushed to the brink due to the favoritism and connections often shown to the most blatant frauds, or to those who are just savvy enough to hide their ignorance and incompetence, steal others' ideas, or pass off second-hand concepts to a gullible and misinformed public.

In “A Journey through England,” published in 1723, we get the following picture of a travelling quack of that time: “I cannot leave Winchester without telling you of a pleasant incident that happened there. As I was sitting at the George Inn, I saw a coach with six bay horses, a calash and four, a chaise and four, enter the inn, in a yellow livery turned up with red; four gentlemen on horseback, in blue trimmed with silver; and as yellow is the colour given by the dukes in England, I went out to see what duke it was; but there was no coronet on the coach, only a plain coat-of-arms on each with this motto ‘Argento laborat Faber.’ Upon inquiry I found this great equipage belonged to a mountebank, and his name being Smith, the motto was a pun upon his name. The footmen in yellow were his tumblers and trumpeters, and those in blue his merry-andrew, his apothecary and spokesman. He was dressed in black velvet, and had in his coach a woman that danced on the ropes. He cures all diseases and sells his packets for sixpence apiece. He erected stages in all the market towns twenty miles round; and it is a prodigy how so wise a[389] people as the English are gulled by such pickpockets. But his amusements on the stage are worth the sixpence without the pills. In the morning he is dressed up in a fine brochade nightgown, for his chamber practice, when he gives advice and gets larger fees.”

In “A Journey through England,” published in 1723, we get a glimpse of a traveling con artist from that time: “I can't leave Winchester without sharing a funny story that happened there. While I was sitting at the George Inn, I saw a coach with six bay horses, a calash and four, and a chaise and four pull up to the inn, all adorned in yellow uniforms trimmed in red; four gentlemen on horseback, dressed in blue trimmed with silver; and since yellow is the color typically associated with dukes in England, I went out to see which duke it was; but there was no coronet on the coach, just a plain coat-of-arms on each with the motto ‘Argento laborat Faber.’ After asking around, I found out that this impressive entourage belonged to a quack doctor, and since his name was Smith, the motto was a play on his name. The footmen in yellow were his tumblers and trumpeters, while those in blue were his clown, his apothecary, and his spokesperson. He was dressed in black velvet and had a woman who danced on ropes in his coach. He claimed to cure all ailments and sold his remedies for sixpence each. He set up stages in every market town within twenty miles; it's amazing how such a clever people as the English can be fooled by such charlatans. But his performances on stage are worth the sixpence even without the pills. In the morning, he dresses in a fancy brocade nightgown for his private consultations, where he offers advice and charges higher fees.”

Although the papers of the early eighteenth century actually teem with the advertisements of quacksalvers, few of the applications to the unwary possess any distinctive features, and those which do are of the grossest possible description. In the Daily Post of July 14, 1736, there is a curious testimonial to the abilities of a City practitioner who advertised very considerably about that period. His advertisements all take the form of recommendations from those who have received benefit at his hands and from his medicines, and the one we have chosen will give a fair idea of the others, which in many cases refer to the disorders of the gentler sex:—

Although the newspapers of the early 1700s are filled with ads from frauds, very few of the solicitations to the unsuspecting stand out, and those that do are in the most outrageous style. In the Daily Post from July 14, 1736, there's an interesting testimonial about a City doctor who advertised quite a bit around that time. His ads are all written as recommendations from people who have benefited from his treatments and medicines, and the one we've selected gives a good sense of the others, which often refer to the ailments of women:—

THESE are to certify, that I Richard Sandford, Waterman, dwelling in Horsely-down-street, near the Dipping Pond, have a Son, who for a considerable Time was troubled with a Pain in his Stomach, a Sleepiness and Giddiness, whereupon I calling to Mind that some Years since my Wife’s Mother, betwixt 60 and 70 years of Age, afflicted with a Palsy or Hemeplegia, or loss of the Use of one Side of her Body, had been cured by

THESE are to certify, that I Richard Sandford, waterman, living on Horsely-down-street, near the Dipping Pond, have a son who for a long time had been suffering from a stomach ache, drowsiness, and dizziness. I recalled that several years ago my mother-in-law, who was between 60 and 70, suffering from a stroke or paralysis, or loss of function on one side of her body, had been cured by

Mr. JOHN MOORE, Apothecary,

Mr. John Moore, Pharmacist,

At the Pestle and Mortar in Laurence-Pountney’s Lane, the first Great Gates on the Left-Hand from Cannon-street,

At the Pestle and Mortar on Laurence Pountney's Lane, the first Great Gates on the left from Cannon Street,

I applied to him for Relief of my Son, who after having taken a few of his Worm-Powders, they brought from him a WORM (or INSECT) like a Hog-Louse, with Legs and hairy, or a Kind of Down all over it, and very probably more, but he going to a common Vault they were lost; upon which he is amended as to his former Illnesses, and I desire this may be printed for the Good of others.

I reached out to him for help with my son, who after taking some of his worm powders, ended up passing a worm (or insect) that looked like a hog louse, with legs and hairy, or some kind of fuzz all over it, and possibly more. However, when he went to a common vault, they were lost. Since then, he’s improved regarding his previous illnesses, and I hope this can be published for the benefit of others.

Witness

Witness

Richard Sandford.

Richard Sandford.

Oct. 6, 1735.

Oct. 6, 1735.

N.B. The said John Moore’s Worm Medicines and Green-Sickness Powder, are sold at Mrs. Reader’s at the Nine Sugar-Loaves, a Chandler’s Shop in Hungerford-Market, sealed with his Coat of[390] Arms, being a Cross, with the Words, John Moore’s Worm-Powders, &c., inscribed round it: And if any are Sold at any place, except at his own House, without that Seal and Inscription, they are Counterfeits.

N.B. John Moore’s Worm Medicines and Green-Sickness Powder are sold at Mrs. Reader’s at the Nine Sugar-Loaves, a candle shop in Hungerford Market, sealed with his coat of arms, which features a cross and the words "John Moore’s Worm Powders" inscribed around it. If any are sold anywhere else without that seal and inscription, they are fakes.

He sells Byfield’s Sal Volatile Oliosum, at 6d. per Ounce.
To be had at the said J. Moore’s,

He sells Byfield’s Sal Volatile Oliosum for 6d. per ounce.
You can get it at J. Moore’s,

COLUMBARIUM; or, The Pigeon-House: Being an Introduction to a Natural History of Tame Pigeons, giving an Account of the several Species known in England, with the Method of breeding them, their Distempers and Cures.

COLUMBARIUM; or, The Pigeon-House: An Introduction to the Natural History of Domestic Pigeons, providing a description of the different species found in England, along with instructions for breeding them, their illnesses, and treatments.

The two chief Advantages, which a real Acquaintance with Nature brings to our Minds, are first, by instructing our Understandings and gratifying our Curiosities; and next by exciting and cherishing our Devotion. Boyle’s Experimental Philosophy, p. 3.

The two main benefits that a true understanding of nature offers us are, first, by teaching us and satisfying our curiosity; and second, by inspiring and nurturing our sense of devotion. Boyle's Experimental Philosophy, p. 3.

Mr Sandford’s ideas on natural history were rather confused, and his powers of description evidently bothered by the astonishing “insect” which had so annoyed his son. What a pity so curious a specimen was not preserved for the benefit of Moore and “the good of others”! There was now a sore battle being fought between the quacks and the regular practitioners, the latter being bound to come forward and defend what they considered to be their rights by all and every means. That they did not disdain the use of advertisements, the following, which had its origin in a small gossiping paragraph, shows. It appears in the Daily Journal of July 22, 1734, but was originally published a few days before, without the two paragraphs after signature:—

Mr. Sandford’s views on natural history were pretty muddled, and his ability to describe things was clearly disrupted by the amazing “insect” that had annoyed his son so much. It’s a shame such an interesting specimen wasn’t preserved for Moore and “the good of others”! Right now, there was a fierce struggle happening between the quacks and the established practitioners, the latter feeling the need to step up and defend what they saw as their rights by any means necessary. They didn't shy away from using advertisements, as shown by the following, which started as a small gossip item. It appears in the Daily Journal from July 22, 1734, but was originally published a few days earlier, without the two paragraphs after signature:—

WHEREAS in the Papers of Saturday last there was a Paragraph relating to a Dispute that happened at Child’s Coffee-house, between a Doctor and a Surgeon; I think it my Duty to tell the Fact that occasioned this Dispute, truly as it is.

WHEREAS in the papers from last Saturday, there was a section about a disagreement that took place at Child’s Coffee-house, involving a doctor and a surgeon; I feel it is my responsibility to share the fact that led to this disagreement, as accurately as possible.

On Wednesday the 10th of July I sent to Mr. Nourse; when he came I told him I had a Swelling and great Pain in my Leg; he saw it, said it was much inflamed, and that I must be blooded, take some Physick, and that he would send something that was proper to be applied; I was immediately let Blood; and he writ a Purge for me, to be taken the next Day, which I took, and am thereby, I thank God, much better. Afterwards, in the same Conversation, he ask’d me how long I had been ill? my Answer was, ten Days; he reply’d, have you[391] been ill so long, and had no Advice? I then told him, I had, some Days before, been to the Jew Doctor’s House; his Answer was, I suppose you mean Dr. Schamberg, and pray what has he ordered for you? I said, I could not tell; but being desirous that Dr. Nourse should see the Prescription, I sent to the Apothecary’s for it by my Son, who brought it directly into the Room, where there was not anybody but Mr. Nourse and myself; Mr. Nourse looked upon the Bill, and told me I must take none of these Things now; nor the Spaw Water, said I? (for that was Part of the Prescription); his Answer was No, and laid the Bill down upon the Table, without saying anything more. This is the whole Truth, and I’m ready to attest it by an Affidavit.

On Wednesday, July 10th, I sent for Mr. Nourse. When he arrived, I told him I had swelling and severe pain in my leg. He examined it and said it was very inflamed, and that I needed to have blood drawn, take some medicine, and that he would send over something suitable to apply. I was bled right away, and he prescribed a purgative for me to take the next day, which I did, and thankfully, I'm feeling much better. Later in the conversation, he asked me how long I had been unwell. I replied that it had been ten days. He responded, “You've been ill for that long and didn't seek any help?” I then mentioned that a few days earlier, I had been to the Jewish doctor’s house. He said, “I assume you mean Dr. Schamberg. What did he prescribe for you?” I said I wasn't sure, but wanting Mr. Nourse to see the prescription, I had my son fetch it from the apothecary, and he brought it directly into the room, where it was just Mr. Nourse and me. Mr. Nourse looked at the bill and told me I shouldn't take any of those things now. “Not even the spring water?” I asked, since that was part of the prescription. He replied, “No,” and set the bill down on the table without saying anything else. This is the whole truth, and I'm ready to confirm it with an affidavit.

N.B. When I sent to Mr. Nourse I was determined to apply no more to Dr. Schamberg, he being in a manner a Stranger to me, and I have been much worse every Day, from the Time I began to take his Medicines. B. J. Knight.

N.B. When I reached out to Mr. Nourse, I had decided not to contact Dr. Schamberg anymore since he felt like a stranger to me, and I've been feeling significantly worse every day since I started taking his medicines. B. J. Knight.

Leadenhall Market, 15 July.

Leadenhall Market, July 15.

The Propriety of Æsculapius’s Prescription judge of by the Effect.

The appropriateness of Æsculapius’s prescription is determined by its effectiveness.

Q. Whether Steel steep’d in Brandy, and Spa Water, are proper for a Shortness of Breath, or an Inflammation.

Q. Is steel soaked in brandy and spa water suitable for shortness of breath or inflammation?

After this had been published once or twice, the advertiser, who could hardly have taken so much trouble out of pure gratitude, inserted another notice in the form of an affidavit, containing the foregoing and other particulars, the most important of which is that which discovers her sex. At least we presume that Bridget was a woman’s name in 1734. The difficulties between the doctors and apothecaries—the latter, when not quacks themselves, being their special agents—and the demand made for the far-famed Jesuits’ Bark, are both shown in the following handbill, which is of about the same date as the foregoing:—

After this had been published a few times, the advertiser, who likely wouldn’t have gone to such lengths just out of pure gratitude, placed another notice in the form of an affidavit, which included the details above and some additional information, the most significant of which reveals her gender. We assume that Bridget was a woman's name in 1734. The tensions between doctors and apothecaries—the latter, when not charlatans themselves, often acting as their agents—and the request for the famous Jesuits’ Bark, are both illustrated in the following handbill, which is from around the same time as the previous one:—

WHEREAS it has been of late the Endeavour of several Members of the Physicians College, to reform the Abuses of the Apothecaries, as well in the Prizes as in the Composition of their Medicines, This is to give Notice for the public Good, that a superfine Sort of Jesuits Bark ready powder’d and paper’d into Doses, with or without Directions for the Use of it, is to be had at Dr. Charles Goodal’s at the Coach and Horses, in Physician’s Colledge in Warwick Lane, at 4s. per Ounce, or for a Quantity together at £3 per Pound; for the Reasonableness of which Prizes, (considering the Loss and Trouble in[392] powdering) we appeal to all the Druggists and Apothecaries themselves in Town, and particularly to Mr. Thair, Druggist in Newgate Street, to whom we paid full 9s. per Pound for a considerable Quantity for the Use of our self and our friends.

WHEREAS recently, several members of the Physicians College have been working to reform the issues with the Apothecaries, both in the prices and the quality of their medicines, this is to inform the public that a high-quality type of Jesuits Bark is now available, pre-powdered and packaged into doses, with or without usage instructions, at Dr. Charles Goodal’s location at the Coach and Horses, in Physician’s College on Warwick Lane, for 4s. per ounce, or at a bulk rate of £3 per pound. Regarding the fairness of these prices, especially considering the loss and effort involved in powdering, we invite all local Druggists and Apothecaries to weigh in, specifically Mr. Thair, Druggist on Newgate Street, to whom we paid a full 9s. per pound for a significant quantity for our own use and that of our friends.

And for the Excellency and Efficacy of this particular Bark enquire of Dr. Morton in Grey Friars.

And for the quality and effectiveness of this specific bark, ask Dr. Morton in Grey Friars.

I am to be spoken with at Prayers at S. Sepulchre’s every Day, but the Lord’s Day, at Seven in the Morning, and at Home from Eight in the Morning till Ten at Night.

You can talk to me during Prayers at S. Sepulchre’s every day, except on Sundays, at 7 AM, and at home from 8 AM to 10 PM.

The Poor may have Advice (that is, Nothing) for Nothing.

The Poor might have advice (that is, nothing) for nothing.

“Nothing for nothing” is a rate of exchange which is current even to this day, and was very likely known long before the time of this physician, whose effort could hardly have been expected to prove disastrous to the empirics, as he, among other peculiarities, regards what should have been his strong point of dissimilarity from them as “nothing.” Another bill of the same period is noticeable for the explicitness of the address given in it:—

“Nothing for nothing” is an exchange rate that’s still common today and was probably known long before this doctor’s time. His efforts likely couldn’t have been expected to be harmful to the empirics, as he, among other odd traits, sees what should have been his major difference from them as “nothing.” Another document from the same era is notable for the clarity of the address included in it:—

When you are in Baldwin’s Gardens, that you may not mistake, ask for Leopard’s Court, and there at the Sign of the Moon and Stars, you will find the Louvain Doctor from 8 in the Morning till 7 at Night. As you pass by the end of Leopard’s Court you may see the Sign of the Moon and Stars, which, pray, observe, least you mistake: for there are several Pretenders, therefore keep this bill. Baldwin’s Gardens are near Holborn.

When you’re in Baldwin’s Gardens, to avoid any confusion, ask for Leopard’s Court, and there at the Sign of the Moon and Stars, you’ll find the Louvain Doctor from 8 AM to 7 PM. As you walk by the end of Leopard’s Court, you might see the Sign of the Moon and Stars, so please pay attention to it to avoid any mix-ups: there are several impostors, so hold onto this notice. Baldwin’s Gardens is near Holborn.

Baldwin’s Gardens would hardly be a good address in these times for even the veriest quack. It is now about the foulest specimen extant of that kind of backslum or alley where, a generation back, according to Hood, pigs and Irish were wont to rally. The pigs, except in the form of hocks, “Jerry Lynch” heads, and other portions of bacon, have been removed by Act of Parliament since the poet sang his simple lay of “The Lost Child,” but the Irish have increased and multiplied with an activity unknown to them in other pursuits. The powers of the finest peasantry in the world are undoubted in one particular of philoprogenitiveness under any circumstances, and they seem to[393] exert them to the utmost when least required and most inconvenient—when they are “pigged up” in small rooms and festering courts, and when every fresh birth is an outrage upon the sanatory laws supposed to govern us, and upon their own sense of decency. We are in the habit of hearing most of our domestic and civic misfortunes ascribed to the higher wages and increased leisure of the labouring classes of the present, as compared with those of twenty or thirty years back. Is this the case with regard to the rapid development of inhabitants for Baldwin’s Gardens, Leather Lane, Saffron Hill, and neighbouring purlieus? There may be increased leisure there, but if the wages are higher now than they were, in proportion to the higher price of provisions, they must have suffered worse than starvation in years gone by. So unhealthily crowded—in fact, pestilent—is the neighbourhood we have mentioned, that no number of quacks could have done more to shorten life than the inhabitants now do for themselves. But even these poor wretches are made the groundwork for a new system of quackery—the quackery of the mock philanthropist, who builds model lodging-houses, ostensibly and with much flourishing of trumpets, for the very poor, and then lets them to people who never did dwell in rookeries; to those people who can afford to pay good rents, and so keep up the dividends which are the modern reward of so-called charity.

Baldwin’s Gardens is hardly a desirable address these days, even for the biggest frauds. It’s now one of the worst examples of the kind of slum or alley where, a generation ago, according to Hood, pigs and Irish people used to gather. The pigs, except for some hocks, “Jerry Lynch” heads, and other bits of bacon, have been cleared out by law since the poet wrote his simple song “The Lost Child,” but the Irish population has grown significantly, displaying a level of increase that wasn’t evident in other pursuits. The strengths of the best peasantry in the world are undeniable in one specific area of reproduction, no matter the conditions, and they seem to put that to full use when it’s least needed and most inconvenient—when they’re crammed into small rooms and filthy courtyards, and each new birth is a violation of the health regulations meant to protect us, as well as their own sense of decency. We often hear that most of our social and civic problems are due to the higher wages and increased free time of today's working class compared to twenty or thirty years ago. Is this true for the rapid population growth in Baldwin’s Gardens, Leather Lane, Saffron Hill, and nearby areas? There might be more free time there, but if wages are higher now, considering the rising cost of food, they must have endured things worse than starvation in the past. The area we’re discussing is so overcrowded—actually, it's unhealthy—that no amount of fraudsters could do more to shorten lives than the residents do to themselves. Yet, even these poor souls are used as the foundation for a new kind of deception—the fake philanthropy where people create model housing developments, seemingly with much fanfare, for the very poor, only to rent them to individuals who never lived in slums; those who can afford to pay high rents, thus maintaining the profits that are the modern reward for so-called charity.

Notwithstanding the many stirring events of the early part of the last century, there is little or nothing to read in any of the papers. This may be accounted for by the difficulty of obtaining news from distant or even from any parts a hundred and thirty years or so back; but whatever the reason, this is certain, the advertisements are by far the best reading in the journals, daily or weekly. Though the newspapers were to our notions wonderfully small, their editors seem to have had the greatest difficulty in filling the little space they had at command with news, and provincial[394] journals were sometimes put to strange shifts, even the now common work of the liner, that of inventing facts, being then unknown. It is by no means unusual to find a chapter of the Bible put in to fill up the columns; and even as late as 1740 the London and County Journal gratified its readers with the History of the Old and New Testaments, while other papers filled up their front pages with occasional extracts from the histories of England and other countries, or selections from books of travel. Singular as this may seem, it is true. Its truth is perhaps the most singular thing about it.

Despite the many exciting events in the early part of the last century, there’s very little to read in any of the newspapers. This might be due to the challenges of getting news from far-off places or even any locations from over a hundred and thirty years ago; but whatever the reason, one thing is certain: the advertisements are by far the most interesting content in both daily and weekly journals. Although newspapers might seem incredibly small to us now, their editors struggled greatly to fill the limited space they had with actual news, and local papers often resorted to unusual methods. At that time, the now-common practice of making up facts wasn’t known. It wasn’t unusual to find a chapter from the Bible used to fill the columns; even as late as 1740, the London and County Journal entertained its readers with the History of the Old and New Testaments, while other newspapers filled their front pages with random excerpts from English history or selections from travel books. As strange as this may sound, it’s true. The truth of this is perhaps the most remarkable thing about it.

Among the many specifics of the last century was snuff, which in various forms is advertised as possessing the power not only of curing all bodily but many mental evils. In the General Advertiser for June 21, 1749, there is an advertisement of a snuff which was supposed to cure lunacy. Certainly it has an effect on the ideas with regard to the construction of sentences, as the proprietor himself shows:—

Among the many details of the last century was snuff, which in various forms was promoted as having the ability to cure not just physical ailments but many mental issues as well. In the General Advertiser from June 21, 1749, there's an ad for a snuff thought to cure madness. It definitely influences thoughts on how sentences are constructed, as the owner shows:—

GENTLEMEN,

Gents,

ONCE more I desire you to remember, I have published my Imperial Snuff, for all Disorders in the Head; and I think I might have gone further, and said, for all Disorders of Body and Mind. It hath set a great many to rights that was never expected, but there is but few, or none, that careth to have it published they were a little out of their Senses, although it be really an Ailment that none can help; but there is present Relief, if not a Cure; but I hope both, as by God’s Assistance it hath been performed already on many. And I think it my Duty to let the World know it, that they may not bear so many miserable Ailments that is capable of curing. I hear it is reported abroad I am dead, and that the World is imposed on; but, thank God, I am alive and put my Dependance on him, that he will give me leave to do some more Service before I go hence. But suppose I was dead, my Snuff is alive, and I hope it will live after I am dead, as it is capable of keeping the World in sprightly Life and Health, which must be allowed to be the greatest Blessing in the World. But what is Riches without that? And what would some have given for some of these Reliefs before it was advertised. But you are all heartily welcome at this Price of Sixpence,[395] at present, but I should be glad of more from the Rich. I do assure you it is sold at this Price in regard to the Poor only.

ONCE more I want you to remember that I've published my Imperial Snuff, for all issues related to the head; and I believe I could go further and say, for all issues of body and mind. It has helped many people who were thought to be beyond help, but there are very few, if any, who are willing to admit they were a little out of their minds, even though it’s an issue that no one can avoid; but there is immediate relief, if not a cure; and I hope for both, as with God’s help it has already been done for many. I feel it's my duty to inform the world so they won’t have to endure so many painful ailments that can be treated. I've heard it rumored that I'm dead and that people are being misled; but, thank God, I'm alive and I trust that He will allow me to do more good before I leave this world. But suppose I were dead, my Snuff would still be alive, and I hope it will continue to thrive after I'm gone, as it has the potential to keep people lively and healthy, which must be considered the greatest blessing in the world. But what are riches without that? And what would some people have given for some of these remedies before they were announced? But you are all warmly welcome to it for the price of sixpence,[395] for now, though I would appreciate more from the wealthy. I assure you it's sold at this price for the sake of the poor only.

I am yours, etc.
Samuel Major.

I'm yours, etc.
Samuel Major.

In Swedland Court, against the end of Half-Moon-Alley, Bishopsgate Street.

In Swedland Court, at the end of Half-Moon-Alley, Bishopsgate Street.

The next gentleman upon the list is Mr Patence, who combined in himself many valuable qualifications, and was according to his own showing a decided benefactor to humanity. In December 1771 we find the following in the Gazetteer:—

The next gentleman on the list is Mr. Patence, who possessed many valuable qualities and, according to his own account, was a clear benefactor to humanity. In December 1771, we find the following in the Gazetteer:—

MR Patence, Dentist and Dancing Master, No. 8, Bolt Court, Fleet Street, whose Ingenuity in making artificial Teeth, and fixing them without the least Pain, can be attested by several of the Nobility, and hopes to be honoured by the rest of the Great—may depend his Study shall be devoted to the good of every Individual. His whole Sets, with a Fine enamel on, is a Proof of his excelling all Operators. He charges ten Guineas for a whole, five for an upper or under Set, and half-a-Guinea for a single Tooth.—His Rose Powder for preserving the Teeth, is worthy to grace and perfume the chamber of a Prince.—His Medicines for preventing all Infections and sore Throats have been experienced by several.—As for dancing, he leaves that to the multitude of Ladies and Gentlemen whom he has taught, and desires to be rewarded no more than his Merit deserves, nor no less. Public School nights, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Evenings; Tuesday Evenings set apart for Cotillons only.—N.B. His Rose Dentrifice may be had at Mr Nesbit’s Toy Shop Bishopsgate Street, and at his House, at 2s. 6d. the box.

MR Patence, Dentist and Dance Instructor, No. 8, Bolt Court, Fleet Street, whose skill in creating artificial teeth and fitting them with no pain can be verified by several members of the nobility, hopes to earn the respect of the rest of the elite—his focus will be on the well-being of every individual. His complete sets, with a fine enamel finish, are proof of his superiority over all other practitioners. He charges ten guineas for a full set, five for either an upper or lower set, and half a guinea for a single tooth. His rose powder for preserving teeth is worthy of a prince's chamber. His medicines for preventing infections and sore throats have been tried by many. As for dancing, he leaves it to the many ladies and gentlemen he has taught, and wishes to be rewarded fairly for his skills. Public school nights are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings; Tuesday evenings are reserved for cotillions only. —N.B. His rose dentifrice is available at Mr. Nesbit’s Toy Shop on Bishopsgate Street and at his residence, priced at 2s. 6d. per box.

The conjunction of practices seems somewhat odd, and, as many may think, rather ominous—for the patients. But Mr Patence evidently flourished, and found plenty money to spend in advertisements. He promises much, but his strong point is secrecy. Advice is as usual offered gratis, which was a fair charge for it, considering that the applicant was sure to be advised to buy some of the nostrums purveyed by Patence. By his skill he repeatedly offers to stand or fall, and about the date we have given he publishes the following as evidence of it. It will be noticed that the[396] address has been shifted, possibly on account of increased business:—

The combination of practices seems a bit strange and, as many might think, a little worrying—for the patients. But Mr. Patence clearly thrived and had plenty of money to spend on advertisements. He makes a lot of promises, but his main selling point is secrecy. As usual, advice is offered for free, which was a fair price considering that the person seeking help was bound to be encouraged to buy some of the remedies sold by Patence. He consistently offers to stake his reputation on his skill, and around the date we've mentioned, he publishes the following as proof. It's worth noting that the[396] address has changed, likely due to increased business:—

No. 3 Ludgate Hill.

No. 3 Ludgate Hill.

THIS Week a Lady applied to Mr. Patence, No. 3 Ludgate Hill, who had her Jaw-Bone broke by having a Tooth extracted, by another Lady, with a sound front Tooth in her Hand, and two others just ready to drop from their Sockets, by having four wretched artificial ones set in by another: her Teeth are all loose. By Tincture, a Gentleman with Teeth set in as brown as a Walnut, that never answered any End; and several other Persons in different Cases. Mr. Patence therefore begs leave to add, that it is not his Intent to take away or lessen the Merit of any one particular Person; but how shocking it is to see Ladies and Gentlemen imposed on, a good set of Teeth ruined, and left at Leisure to lament the Loss in Pain, by Pretenders; for, of all Things artificial Teeth badly set in, is the most destructive of the good next them: but if performed in that masterly Manner that human Nature requires, they are a Preservation, and will answer the End which a humane Man would wish for, or a skilful Dentist desire.—Advice given daily in Cases ordinary, and extraordinary. No Cure no Pay.

THis This week, a woman came to Mr. Patence, No. 3 Ludgate Hill, after breaking her jaw from having a tooth pulled by another woman, who had a healthy front tooth in her hand and two others about to fall out. She also had four terrible artificial teeth set in by someone else, and all her teeth are loose. There was also a gentleman with teeth that were as brown as walnuts, which served no purpose, along with several other people facing different issues. Mr. Patence would like to emphasize that he doesn’t intend to undermine the worth of any individual, but it’s shocking to see ladies and gentlemen being taken advantage of, ruining a good set of teeth, and left to suffer and grieve the loss due to impostors. Poorly placed artificial teeth are the most damaging to the nearby healthy ones. However, when done properly, they are protective and serve the purpose that any reasonable person or skilled dentist would wish for. —Advice provided daily for both common and unique cases. No cure, no pay.

After this Patence goes on merrily telling us now that his “works, cures, and operations confirm his supremacy over every dentist in this kingdom; also physicians, curing man, woman, and child, when not one of them can give relief;” and then that he sells “teeth comprised of six different enamels, warranted never to turn black.” Teeth were, however, but small things in his practice, as he guarantees to replace “fallen noses” and challenges all known and unknown diseases, being, as he states, “mechanically accurated and anatomically perfect in the human structure.” To say less, he tells us, would be “doing an act unjust to himself, his patients, and his Maker, whose gifts are disposed of to whom he pleases.” In the Morning Post of 1775 he publishes the following, having in the meantime once again changed his residence:—

After this, Patence cheerfully tells us that his “works, cures, and treatments prove he’s superior to every dentist in this country; also physicians, treating men, women, and children, when none of them can provide relief;” and then he mentions that he sells “teeth made from six different enamels, guaranteed never to turn black.” However, teeth were just small matters in his practice, as he promises to replace “fallen noses” and takes on all known and unknown diseases, claiming to be “mechanically accurate and anatomically perfect in the human body.” To say any less, he insists, would be “doing an injustice to himself, his patients, and his Creator, whose gifts are given to whoever he chooses.” In the Morning Post of 1775, he publishes the following, having once again moved his home:—

To the Nobility, Gentry, and Others.

To the Nobility, Gentry, and Others.

PATENCE, Surgeon by Birth, and Dentist, having had ten Years Practice, performs every Operation on the Teeth, Gums, &c., with superior Skill, and whose Cures are not excelled or even equalled by[397] any Dentist whatever. And as a Confirmation of the same, please to observe the following:—

PATENCE, born surgeon and dentist, with ten years of experience, performs all dental procedures, including those on teeth and gums, with exceptional skill. His results are unmatched by any other dentist. To confirm this, please take note of the following:—

October 5. A Gentleman who had lost all his Teeth, his Gums ulcerated and scorbutic, in five Days made a perfect Cure, fixed him in a whole set of natural Teeth, without Springs or any Fastening.

October 5. A gentleman who had lost all his teeth, with his gums inflamed and suffering from scurvy, was perfectly cured in five days, and had a complete set of natural teeth installed, without springs or any fasteners.

October 16. A Lady whose Jaw was fractured by a Barber, her Teeth loose, her Gums ulcerated, attended with a running Matter, and an inflammation in her Cheeks, with a callous Swelling, cured without poulticing or cutting.

October 16. A woman whose jaw was broken by a barber, her teeth loose, her gums infected, accompanied by discharge and swelling in her cheeks, with a hard lump, was treated and healed without poulticing or cutting.

October 20. A Lady that had lost all her upper Teeth by using Powders and Tinctures that are advertised to cure Everything, her Mouth ulcerated, and her Breath nauseous, is now delicately Clean, and replaced the Teeth with those that never change their Colour.

October 20. A woman who had lost all her upper teeth from using powders and tinctures advertised to cure everything, with her mouth ulcerated and her breath foul, is now delicately clean and has replaced her teeth with ones that never change color.

Sunday, October 29. Perfectly relieved a Person that had lost both Palate and Speech; when he drank or eat it came out at his Nostrils, and had been in that state three Years; he had applied to Surgeons and several Hospitals, who deemed him incurable, and told him, one and all, he could have no Relief; he now speaks articulate, eats and drinks with Pleasure, which if any one should doubt, he can refer them to the Man. These, with upwards of three thousand Operations and Cures, have been accomplished by your humble Servant, M. Patence.

Sunday, October 29. I perfectly helped a person who had lost both his ability to taste and speak; when he ate or drank, it came out of his nostrils, and he had been in that condition for three years. He had gone to surgeons and several hospitals, all of whom considered him incurable and told him that there was no hope for relief. Now he speaks clearly and enjoys eating and drinking, and if anyone doubts this, he can refer them to the man himself. These, along with over three thousand operations and cures, have been achieved by your humble servant, M. Patence.

At No. 403, in the Strand, near Southampton Street, London. Where the Teeth, though ever so foul, are made delicately white in six Minutes, and Medicines given for their preservation, for half a Guinea, any hour after ten in the Morning. Advice gratis, and profound Secrecy if required.

At No. 403 on the Strand, close to Southampton Street, London. Where even the dirtiest teeth can be made perfectly white in just six minutes, and treatments for their maintenance are available for half a guinea, any time after 10 AM. Free advice is provided, and complete confidentiality if needed.

Envy may snarl, but superior Abilities assists the Afflicted.

I am ready. Envy might bite, but greater abilities help those in need.

There must be something very ambitious about a man who, not satisfied with being dentist and dancing-master, assumes the title of “surgeon by birth.” It is noticeable that though Patence was born a surgeon, he did not discover it till he had been at dentistry and dancing for some years.[37] But in 1775 and thereabouts quacks were not very particular as to their statements. In September 1776 the Morning Post contains a very lengthy advertisement, put forth by one Lattese, a Piedmontese,[398] who states that he has “by a long course of experiments discovered the wonderful secret of procreating either sex at the joint option of the parents. Should their desire be to have a girl, the success cannot be warranted with absolute certainty, though the chances will be highly in favour of such an event; but should they concur in their wishes to have a son, they may rely that by strictly conforming to a few easy and natural directions, they will positively have a boy.” Mr Lattese is so satisfied with the result of his experience that he is satisfied to await the result, and, no satisfaction, no pay. However much we may have advanced in some directions since the days of Patence and Lattese—though we now have railroads, steamboats, tramways, electric telegraphs, a penny post, vote by ballot, asphalt pavement, and good-templarism—it must be admitted that we have, in grasping at mere bubbles, lost many true arts. Among those unfortunately forgotten must, we are sorry to assume, be ranked those of breeding boys at will and surgeons à discretion.

There must be something really ambitious about a guy who, not satisfied with being a dentist and a dance teacher, calls himself a “surgeon by birth.” It’s interesting to note that even though Patence was born a surgeon, he didn’t realize it until after he had spent years in dentistry and dancing. [37] But around 1775, quacks weren't very careful about what they claimed. In September 1776, the Morning Post has a lengthy ad from one Lattese, a Piedmontese,[398] who claims that he has “discovered the incredible secret of choosing the sex of a child at the parent’s discretion. If they want a girl, success isn’t guaranteed, but the odds will be greatly in favor of it. However, if they wish for a son, they can count on having a boy by following a few simple and natural instructions.” Mr. Lattese is so confident in his results that he’s willing to wait for the outcome—no results, no payment. Even though we’ve made advancements in many areas since Patence and Lattese—like railroads, steamboats, trams, electric telegraphs, a penny post, voting by ballot, asphalt pavements, and good-templarism—we must admit that in chasing after mere illusions, we’ve lost many true skills. Among those regrettably forgotten skills, we are sorry to say, would be the ability to choose the sex of a child at will and surgeons à discretion.

It is curious how anxious many of the quacks are that they shall not be confounded with their rivals, and their addresses are often given with wonderful exactness. Of this we will add another example, which, though some years later than the one about Baldwin’s Gardens, is in no way less distinct. It would seem, from many references in old newspapers, that the term Maypole was used for a certain portion of the Strand long after the shaft itself had been removed:—

It’s interesting how eager many of the frauds are to avoid being mistaken for their competitors, and their speeches are often delivered with remarkable precision. We’ll provide another example, which, while occurring a few years later than the one about Baldwin’s Gardens, is just as clear. It appears, from many mentions in old newspapers, that the term Maypole referred to a specific part of the Strand long after the pole itself had been removed:—

In the Strand, over against the Maypole, on the left Hand coming from Temple-Bar, at the Sign of the Golden Cross, between a Sword Cuttlers and a Milliner’s Shop, the Sign of the Sugar Loaf and Barber’s Pole, within four Doors of the Mitre Tavern: Where you may see a large Red coloured Lanthorn, with Eleven Candles in it; and a white Sign written upon with red Letters DUTCH DOCTOR, Licensed by his most Excellent Majesty: and a long Entry with a Hatch and a Knocker on it. Where you may come in privately, and speak with him, and need not be ashamed, he having not any in his House but himself and his Family.

In the Strand, across from the Maypole, on the left side coming from Temple-Bar, at the Golden Cross sign, between a sword shop and a milliner’s shop, near the Sugar Loaf and Barber’s Pole signs, just four doors down from the Mitre Tavern: You can see a large red lantern with eleven candles in it, and a white sign with red letters that says DUTCH DOCTOR, Licensed by his Most Excellent Majesty: and a long entrance with a hatch and a knocker. You can come in privately, speak with him, and not feel embarrassed since the only people there are him and his family.

[399]

[399]

The sign of the Sugar-loaf and Barber’s Pole must have been unique even in the days of signboards, when incongruity was an advantage. Signs remind us of a noted quack of last century, Van Butchell, who painted a wonderful inscription over the front of his house. He was a great advertiser, too, and his effusions are found in most of the papers. When his wife died he had her embalmed, and used to let his patients see the body. He made her very useful as a means of publicity, one of his notices—in the St James’s Chronicle for October 1776—running thus:—

The sign of the Sugar-loaf and Barber’s Pole must have been one of a kind even back when signboards were common and odd pairings were a plus. Signs remind us of a famous quack from the last century, Van Butchell, who had an incredible inscription over the front of his house. He was a master at promotion, and his ads appeared in most newspapers. After his wife died, he had her embalmed and would show her body to his patients. He used her as a unique way to get attention, with one of his ads in the St James’s Chronicle for October 1776 reading as follows:—

VAN BUTCHELL (not willing to be unpleasantly circumstanced, and wishing to convince some good Minds they have been misinformed) acquaints the Curious no Stranger can see his embalmed Wife, unless (by a Friend or personally) introduced to himself, any Day between Nine and One, Sundays excepted.

VAN BUTCHELL (not wanting to cause any discomfort and hoping to show some well-meaning people that they've been misled) informs the interested parties that no one can view his embalmed wife unless they are introduced by him or a friend, any day from nine to one, except Sundays.

Van Butchell, though he lost no opportunity of looking after the main chance, had a mad way of conducting his business, which caused people to regard him as quite out of the ordinary level of charlatans, and his eccentricities in time got him a reputation for both cleverness and conscientiousness. He lived in Mount Street, and on his house and part of the next the following strange inscription was painted:—

Van Butchell, while always on the lookout for a good opportunity, had a crazy approach to running his business that made people see him as truly different from the average frauds. His quirks eventually earned him a reputation for being both smart and reliable. He lived on Mount Street, and on his house and part of the one next to it, the following unusual inscription was painted:—

BY
HIS MAJESTY’S

BY
HIS MAJESTY’S

Thus, said sneaking Jack,
I’ll be first; if I get my Money,
ROYAL speaking like himself,
I don’t care who suffers.

LETTERS PATENT,
MARTIN
VAN BUTCHELL’S
NEW INVENTED

With caustic care—and old Phim.
SPRING BANDS
AND FASTENINGS

Sometimes in six days, and always in ten—the Fistula in Ano.
[400] FOR
THE APPAREL
AND FURNITURE

July 6.
OF
Licensed to deal in Perfumery, i.e.
HUMAN BEINGS
Hydrophobia cured in thirty days.
AND
BRUTE CREATURES.

Made of Milk and Honey.

PATENTS,
MARTIN
VAN BUTCHELL'S
NEW INVENTION

With careful precision—and old Phim.
Spring Bands
And Fastenings

Sometimes within six days, and always within ten—the Fistula in Ano.
[400] FOR
CLOTHING
AND FURNISHINGS

July 6th.
OF
Licensed to operate in the perfume industry, i.e.
HUMANS
Hydrophobia cured in thirty days.
AND
ANIMAL SPECIES.

Made of Milk and Honey.

His next-door neighbour, however, thinking proper to rebuild part of his front, obliterated half of the notice, which, as remarked, ran across both houses. At one time Van Butchell had a famous dun horse, and having some dispute with the stable-keeper, it was detained by the latter to pay for his keep, and was at length sold at Tattersall’s, where, from the character given him by Van Butchell, he brought a good price. This affair was the occasion of a lawsuit, and caused the Doctor to add in small gold letters as quoted, nearly at the top of his notice, the words, “Thus said sneaking Jack,” &c. Of Van Butchell’s literary and advertising talents, the reader will be best able to form a conclusion after a perusal of the following specimen, taken from various newspapers at various times:—

His next-door neighbor, however, thinking it appropriate to rebuild part of his front, erased half of the notice, which, as mentioned, stretched across both houses. At one point, Van Butchell had a well-known dun horse. After having some issues with the stablekeeper, the horse was kept as payment for its care and eventually sold at Tattersall’s. Based on the description provided by Van Butchell, it fetched a good price. This situation led to a lawsuit and prompted the Doctor to add, in small gold letters as quoted, nearly at the top of his notice, the words, “Thus said sneaking Jack,” etc. Readers will get the best sense of Van Butchell’s literary and advertising skills after going through the following examples, taken from various newspapers at different times:—

Causes of Crim. Con. Also Barreness—And the King’s Evil: Advice—new—Guinea; come from Ten till One: for I go to none. The Anatomist and Sympathizer who never poisons—nor sheds human blood: Balm is always good.

Causes of Crim. Con. Also Barreness—And the King’s Evil: Advice—new—Guinea; come from Ten till One: for I go to none. The Anatomist and Sympathizer who never poisons—nor sheds human blood: Balm is always good.

Corresponding—Lads—Remember Judas:—And the year 80! Last Monday morning at Seven o’clock, Doctor Merryman, of Queen Street, Mayfair, presented Elizabeth, the wife of Martin van Butchell with her Fifth fine Boy, at his House in Mount Street, Grosvenor Square, and—they—all—are—well. Post Masters General for Ten Thousand Pounds (—We mean Gentlemen’s—Not a Penny less—) I will soon construct—Such Mail-Coach—Perch Bolts, as shall never break!

Corresponding—Guys—Remember Judas:—And the year 80! Last Monday morning at seven o’clock, Doctor Merryman, of Queen Street, Mayfair, delivered Elizabeth, the wife of Martin van Butchell, her fifth healthy boy at his house in Mount Street, Grosvenor Square, and—they—all—are—well. Post Masters General for ten thousand pounds (—We mean Gentlemen’s—Not a penny less—) I will soon create—Such mail-coach—perch bolts that shall never break!

[401]

[401]

Tender—hearted—Man—User of the Knife,—Would’st thou cut thy Wife? (—Unless two[38] were by?—Fearing she might die?—) Is—not—Blood—the Life? If the Empress of Russia—the Emperor of Germany—the King of Prussia—an Immaculate,—or the Pope of Rome—were sorely smitten—with bad Fistulæ and tormenting Piles—visited Martin to be made quite whole:—Without ConfinementFomentationRiskInfectionPoulticeCausticor Cutting:—bringing two per Cent. of Five Years Profit.—☞ Less is not his fee. Nor would he suffer a third person to be in the room. Not wanting help,—he won’t be hinder’d; by half-willed spies; slavish informers: nor sad alarmists. All his patients live: and—Jehovah—praise.

Gentle-hearted man—Knife user—Would you cut your wife? (Unless two[38] were there?—Worried she might die?—) Is not blood life? If the Empress of Russia, the Emperor of Germany, the King of Prussia, a pure one, or the Pope of Rome were seriously afflicted with painful fistulas and tormenting piles and came to Martin to be healed:—Without confinementfomentationriskinfectionpoulticecausticor cutting:—bringing two percent of five years’ profit.—☞ Less is not his fee. Nor would he allow a third person in the room. He doesn’t want help—he won’t be hindered by half-hearted spies, subservient informers, or anxious alarmists. All his patients survive: and—praise Jehovah.

To the Editor—of a Morning Paper—EgoSecundus.—Of God every man—hath his proper gift: glory be to him—that of mine is healing:—(Not miraculous,—nor by Satan’s aid:)—being vigilant—while gay lads gamed at the Tennis Court—I found it in schools anatomical—Fistulæ and Piles—best my genius fit—Very broad is art—narrow human wit: tho’ man was complete (—As he ought to be with an hairy chin.)—Lovely women hate fops effeminate.—Time approaches when among certain men—in another age—beards—will—be—the—rage!

To the Editor of a Morning Paper: Ego Secundus. Every person has their own gift from God; glory be to Him. Mine is healing—(Not miraculous, nor with Satan's help). While lively guys played at the Tennis Court, I discovered it in anatomy schools—Fistulas and Hemorrhoids—best suited to my talents. Art is very broad, but human wit is narrow; even though man was designed to be complete (as he should be, with a hairy chin). Beautiful women dislike effeminate fops. A time is coming when, among certain men in another age, beards will be all the rage!

To many I refer—for my character: each will have the grace—to write out his case; soon as he is well—an history tell: for the public good;—so save human blood: as—all—true—folk—shou’d. Sharkish people may—keep themselves away—Those that use men ill—I never can heal; being forbidden—to cast pearls to pigs; lest—they—turn—and—tear. Wisdom makes dainty: patients come to me, with heavy guineas—between ten and one: but—I—go—to—none. Mender of mankind; in a manly way.

To many I refer—for my character: everyone has the grace—to write out their case; as soon as they are well—tell their story: for the public good;—to save human lives: as—all—good people—should. Self-serving people can—stay away—Those who treat others poorly—I can never help; being forbidden—to cast pearls before swine; lest—they—turn—and—attack. Wisdom is selective: patients come to me, with heavy coins—between ten and one: but—I—go—to—none. Healer of humanity; in a strong manner.

Fistulæ—Patients—Fee—is—according—to ability! let those—who have much give—without grudging!—(heavy guineas—down: I don’t like paper;—unless—from the Bank of good Old England)—Plain folk—do comply—very readily: so shall—the gaudy:—or keep their complaints! Many—are in want of food;—and raiment, for large families. Such—will be made whole—just so speedily as the most wealthy; that’s “one right of man,” and he shall have it; while God grants me health!—(Philosophers—say—Mankind—are equal:—and pure religion—kindly—promotes—good.)—Lofty ones—read this;—then[402] pause a little: down your dust—must lay; promises—won’t do; I can’t go away—to receive some pay from other people!

Fistulas—Patients—Fees are based on ability! Those who have a lot should give generously! (Heavy guineas for me, I don't like paper money—unless it’s from the good old Bank of England)—Common folks comply easily: so should the flashy ones—or they can keep their complaints! Many are in need of food and clothing for their large families. They'll be treated just as quickly as the wealthiest; that’s a “right of man,” and they deserve it as long as God gives me health!—(Philosophers say that mankind is equal, and true religion encourages goodness.)—High-ranking individuals, read this; then[402] take a moment to reflect: your dust will have to settle; promises aren’t enough; I can’t just leave to collect payment from someone else!

British Christian Lads. (“Behold—now is the day—of salvation.” Get understanding:—as the highest gain.—) Cease looking boyish:—become quite manly!—(Girls are fond of hair:—it is natural.)—Let your beards grow long: that ye may be strong:—in mind—and in body: as were great grand dads: centuries ago; when John did not owe—a single penny: more—than—he—could—pay.

British Christian Lads. (“Look—today is the day—of salvation.” Get the message:—as the greatest profit.—) Stop acting boyish:—become fully manly!—(Girls like hair:—it's normal.)—Let your beards grow long: so you can be strong:—in mind—and in body: like our great grandpas: centuries ago; when John didn’t owe—a single penny: more—than—he—could—pay.

Phi—lo—so—fie—sirs.—“Heaven gives a will:—then directs the way.” Honor your maker:—And “Be swift to hear: slow—to—speak:—or—wrath.” Leave off deforming:—each—himself—reform: wear—the—marks—of—men—In-con-tes-ti-ble! Jesus—did not shave:—for He—knew better. Had it been proper—our chins should be bare, would hair—be put there:—by wise Jehovah?—Who—made—all—things—good.

Phi—lo—so—fie—sirs.—“Heaven gives us free will:—then shows us the way.” Honor your creator:—And “Be quick to listen: slow—to—talk:—or—get angry.” Stop deforming:—everyone should—reform themselves:—show—the—marks—of—people—In-con-tes-ti-ble! Jesus—didn't shave:—because He—knew better. If it were right—our chins would be bare, would hair—be placed there:—by wise Jehovah?—Who—made—all—things—good.

Sympathising—Minds!—“Blessed are they that consider the poor.” Princes—Dukes—Lords—Knights—Esquires—Ladies—“Or the Lord knows who,” are hapless mortals!—Many do need me—to give them comfort! Am not I—the first—healer—(at this Day)—of bad Fistulæ?—(with—an handsome Beard)—like Hippocrates! The combing—I sell—one guinea—each hair:—(of use—to the Fair, that want fine children:—I can—tell them how;—it—is a secret—) Some—are quite—auburn;—others—silver white:—full—half quarter—long, growing—(day and night)—only—fifteen—months! Ye must hither come,—(As I go to none)—and bring—one per cent. of five years’ profit:—that’s my settled fee; it—shall be return’d if I do not cure—(in a little time)—the worst Fistulæ: let who will—have failed! Lie telling—is bad:—sotting—makes folk sad! see—(Ananias)—Beginning Acts v. Pot-I-cary—bow—thy—frizz’d—mealy pate! “Despisers,—behold—wonder—and perish!” “God—gives grace to man! Glory—be to God! He—doth all things well!”

Sympathizing—Minds!—“Blessed are those who care for the poor.” Princes—Dukes—Lords—Knights—Esquires—Ladies—“Or whoever else,” are unfortunate people!—Many need me—to give them comfort! Am I not—the first—healer—(today)—of bad Fistulas?—(with—a nice Beard)—like Hippocrates! The comb I sell—one guinea—per hair:—(useful—for those who want beautiful children:—I can—tell them how;—it’s a secret—) Some—are quite a red;—others—silver white:—full—half quarter—long, growing—(day and night)—only—fifteen—months! You must come here,—(As I go to none)—and bring—one percent of five years’ profit:—that’s my set fee; it—will be refunded if I do not cure—(in a little while)—the worst Fistulas: let whoever will—have failed! Telling lies is—bad:—drinking—makes people sad! see—(Ananias)—Beginning Acts v. Apothecary—bow—thy—curly—fluffed head! “Despisers,—behold—wonder—and perish!” “God—gives grace to man! Glory—be to God! He—does all things well!”

Fistulæ—and—Piles, by the help of God—we eradicate, Having wit enough to heal those complaints, my small fee must be—twelve heavy guineas: large six score thousand: We mean 2 pr cent. on five years profit—put it in rouleaus of an hundred each.—Come from ten till one:—for—I—go—to—none.

Fistulas and Piles, with God's help—we eliminate. Having enough skill to heal those issues, my small fee is—twelve guineas: large six score thousand: We mean 2 percent on five years profit—put it in rolls of a hundred each. Come from ten to one:—for—I—go—to—none.

No one, after reading these extracts, will be inclined to doubt that Van Butchell was an original. His notoriety was such that many used to visit his house, not so much for the purpose of receiving advice as to see and converse with him. The success which he and contemporary quacks made[403] led to the tax on “patent medicines,” which was imposed in 1783, and has now for over ninety years been a fruitful source of revenue. Of Van Butchell’s contemporaries, one of the most worthy of note was Katerfelto, of whom Cowper speaks in “The Task”—

No one reading these excerpts will be inclined to doubt that Van Butchell was truly unique. His fame was such that many visited his home, not so much to seek his advice but to see and talk with him. The success he and other quacks had[403] led to the tax on "patent medicines," which was introduced in 1783 and has since been a reliable source of revenue for over ninety years. Among Van Butchell's contemporaries, one of the most notable was Katerfelto, who Cowper mentions in "The Task"—

And Katerfelto, with his hair standing on end At his own amazement, pondering for his livelihood.

Katerfelto was a foreigner who had “seen service,” and according to his own showing was both brave and learned. A notice of him which appears in an article on quacks says: “In a pamphlet on quackery, published at Kingston-upon-Hull, in 1805, it is stated that Dr Katerfelto practised on the people of London in the influenza of 1782; that he added to his nostrums the fascinations of hocus-pocus; and that with the services of some extraordinary black cats he astonished the vulgar. In 1790, or 1791, he visited the city of Durham, accompanied by his wife and daughter. His travelling equipage consisted of an old rumbling coach, drawn by a pair of sorry hacks; and his two black servants wore green liveries with red collars. They were sent round the town, blowing trumpets and delivering bills of their master’s performances. These were—in the daytime, a microscope; in the evening, electrical experiments, in which the black cats—‘the doctor’s devils’—played their parts in yielding electric sparks; tricks of legerdemain concluded the entertainments. He was a tall, thin man, dressed in a black gown and square cap; he is said to have been originally a soldier in the Prussian service. In one of his advertisements he states that he was a colonel in the ‘Death’s Head’ regiment of hussars, a terrific prognostic of his ultimate profession. He had many mishaps in his conjuring career; once he sent up a fire balloon, which, falling upon a hay-stack, set it on fire, and it was consumed, when Katerfelto was sued for its value, and was sent to prison in default of payment. And not long before his[404] death, he was committed by the Mayor of Shrewsbury to the House of Correction in that city as a vagrant and impostor. Katerfelto mixed up with his quackery some real science, and by the aid of the solar microscope astonished the world with insect wonders. In one of his advertisements in the Morning Post, of July 1782, he says that, by its aid, the insects on the hedges will be seen larger than ever, and those insects which caused the late influenza will be seen as large as a bird; and in a drop of water the size of a pin’s head there will be seen above 50,000 insects; the same in beer, milk, vinegar, blood, flour, cheese, etc., etc., and there will be seen many surprising indifferent vegetables, and above 200 other dead objects. He obtained good prices for his show:—‘The admittance to see these wonderful works of Providence is only—front seats, three shillings; second seats, two shillings; and back seats, one shilling only, from eight o’clock in the morning till six in the afternoon, at No. 22 Piccadilly.’ He fully understood the advantages of puffing, and one of his advertisements commences with a story of ‘a gentleman of the faculty belonging to Oxford University, who, finding it likely to prove a fine day, set out for London purposely to see those great wonders which are advertised so much by that famous philosopher, Mr Katerfelto;’ that the said gentleman declared, ‘if he had come three hundred miles on purpose, the knowledge he had then received would amply reward him; and that he should not wonder that some of the nobility should come from the remotest part of Scotland to hear Mr Katerfelto, as the people of that country in particular are always searching after knowledge.’ He elsewhere declares himself ‘the greatest philosopher in this kingdom since Sir Isaac Newton.’ ‘And Mr Katerfelto, as a divine and moral philosopher, begs leave to say that all persons on earth live in darkness, if they are able to see, but will not see his wonderful exhibition.’” Katerfelto, who had been in trouble both in his own country and in France, showed an aptitude for distinguishing[405] himself in a similar way here, not only in the ways we have already quoted, but with regard to impositions practised on the confiding. He obtained £2000 from a Captain Paterson, but had to return it. This he afterwards referred to as instance of his generosity and love of honesty, and his admiration for this country is shown by his avowed desire to stay in it, “though unpensioned, notwithstanding the many offers from the Queen of France, the request of his friend and correspondent Dr Franklin, and the positive commands of his liege lord the King of Prussia.”

Katerfelto was a foreigner who had “seen action,” and according to his own claims, he was both brave and knowledgeable. A notice about him in an article on quackery states: “In a pamphlet on quackery published in Kingston-upon-Hull in 1805, it’s noted that Dr. Katerfelto practiced in London during the influenza outbreak of 1782; he added some hocus-pocus to his remedies and amazed the crowd with the help of some unusual black cats. In 1790 or 1791, he visited the city of Durham with his wife and daughter. His travel setup consisted of an old, creaky coach pulled by a pair of tired horses, and his two black servants wore green uniforms with red collars. They walked around the town, blowing trumpets and distributing flyers about their master’s shows. During the day, he showcased a microscope, and in the evening, he performed electrical experiments, with the black cats—‘the doctor’s devils’—helping produce electric sparks; sleight-of-hand tricks wrapped up the performances. He was a tall, thin man dressed in a black gown and square cap; it’s said he originally served as a soldier in the Prussian army. In one of his ads, he claimed to be a colonel in the ‘Death’s Head’ regiment of hussars, a pretty ominous hint at his eventual profession. He ran into several issues in his conjuring career; once he launched a fire balloon that landed on a haystack, igniting it, and he was sued for its value, which led to a prison sentence for him when he couldn’t pay. Not long before his[404] death, he was sent by the Mayor of Shrewsbury to the House of Correction there as a vagrant and fraud. Katerfelto mixed real science with his quackery and amazed audiences with the solar microscope, showcasing insect wonders. In one of his advertisements in the Morning Post from July 1782, he claimed that this device would allow people to see hedge insects larger than ever and that the insects responsible for the latest influenza would appear as large as a bird; in a droplet of water the size of a pinhead, you would see over 50,000 insects; this would be the same for beer, milk, vinegar, blood, flour, cheese, and many other substances, and there would also be many surprising types of plants and over 200 other dead objects. He charged good prices for his show: ‘Admission to see these incredible works of Providence is only—front seats, three shillings; second seats, two shillings; and back seats, one shilling only, from eight in the morning until six in the afternoon, at No. 22 Piccadilly.’ He knew how to market himself well, and one of his ads begins with a story about ‘a gentleman from the faculty at Oxford University who, seeing that it would likely be a nice day, set off for London specifically to see those incredible wonders advertised by the famous philosopher, Mr. Katerfelto;’ the gentleman then declared, ‘if he had traveled three hundred miles just for this, the knowledge he gained was worth it; and he wouldn’t be surprised if some noblemen journeyed from the most distant parts of Scotland to hear Mr. Katerfelto, as people from that region are particularly keen on acquiring knowledge.’ He also claimed to be ‘the greatest philosopher in this kingdom since Sir Isaac Newton.’ ‘And Mr. Katerfelto, as a divine and moral philosopher, asserts that everyone on earth lives in darkness if they have the ability to see but choose not to attend his amazing exhibition.’” Katerfelto had faced trouble both in his home country and in France, and he showed a talent for making a name for himself here too, not just through the methods mentioned but also through deceiving trusting individuals. He managed to get £2000 from Captain Paterson, but he had to give it back. He later referred to this as an example of his generosity and integrity, and he expressed his admiration for this country by stating his desire to stay here, “even without a pension, despite the numerous offers from the Queen of France, the requests of his friend and correspondent Dr. Franklin, and the direct orders of his liege lord, the King of Prussia.”

Mention of the Queen of France reminds us of another impostor, perhaps the greatest in his way that ever lived, Joseph Balsamo. As, however, he had little or nothing to do with advertising, and as he has already afforded work for many able and vigorous pens, we will be content to quote a few lines from Carlyle regarding the arch-quack’s description and personal appearance: “The quack of quacks, the most perfect scoundrel that in these latter ages has marked the world’s history, we have found in the Count Alessandro di Cagliostro, pupil of the sage Althotas, foster child of the Scherif of Mecca, probably son of the last king of Trebizonde; named also Acharat, and unfortunate child of nature; by profession healer of diseases, abolisher of wrinkles, friend of the poor and impotent, grand-master of the Egyptian mason-lodge of high science, spirit-summoner, gold-cook, grand cophta, prophet, priest, and thaumaturgic moralist and swindler; really a liar of the first magnitude, thorough-paced in all provinces of lying, what one may call the king of liars. . . . One of the most authentic documents preserved of Joseph Balsamo is the picture of his visage. An effigy once universally diffused in oil paint, aquatint, marble, stucco, and perhaps gingerbread, decorating millions of apartments. Fittest of visitors, worthy to be worn by the quack of quacks! A most portentous face of scoundrelism: a fat, snub, abominable face; dew-lapped, flat-nosed, greasy, full of greediness, sensuality, ox-like obstinacy; a forehead[406] impudent, refusing to be ashamed; and then two eyes turned up seraphically languishing, as if in divine contemplation and adoration; a touch of quiz, too; on the whole, perhaps the most perfect quack-face produced by the eighteenth century.” The subject of this flattering portrait was born in 1743, and died in the fortress of St Leo, Rome, after an imprisonment of six years, aged fifty-two.

Mentioning the Queen of France brings to mind another impostor, arguably the greatest of his kind to ever live, Joseph Balsamo. However, since he had little to do with marketing and has already inspired many skilled writers, we’ll just quote a few lines from Carlyle about the arch-quack’s description and appearance: “The quack of quacks, the most perfect scoundrel that has marked the world’s history in recent times, we find in Count Alessandro di Cagliostro, a student of the sage Althotas, a foster child of the Scherif of Mecca, likely the son of the last king of Trebizond; also known as Acharat and the unfortunate child of nature; by profession, a healer of diseases, a reducer of wrinkles, a friend of the poor and weak, grand-master of the Egyptian masonic lodge of high knowledge, spirit-summoner, gold-cook, grand cophta, prophet, priest, and a moralist and fraudster with miraculous claims; truly a liar of the first order, adept in every form of deception, what one might call the king of liars. . . . One of the most genuine documents preserved of Joseph Balsamo is the image of his face. An effigy widely distributed in oil paint, aquatint, marble, stucco, and perhaps even gingerbread, adorning millions of homes. The perfect visitor, deserving to be represented by the quack of quacks! A most alarming face of deceit: a fat, flat, dreadful face; drooping skin, flat nose, greasy, filled with greed, sensuality, and bull-headed stubbornness; an impudent forehead, unwilling to feel shame; and two eyes that looked up with a seraphic languor, as if in divine contemplation and worship; with a touch of mockery too; overall, perhaps the most flawless quack-face produced by the eighteenth century.” The subject of this flattering portrait was born in 1743 and died in the fortress of St Leo, Rome, after six years of imprisonment, at the age of fifty-two.

The system of showing on oneself the effect of one’s own specifics has had many admirers and practisers. A Mrs Harden, in Newman Street, Oxford Street, used to advertise some years ago a hair-dye, the effect of which was to be seen on her own hair at her private residence, or at ladies’ own residences if preferred. In a similar manner a quack in the time of King Charles II. commenced his handbill with this statement: “Salvator Winter, an Italian of the city of Naples, aged 98 years, yet by the blessing of God, finds himself in health and as strong as any one of fifty, as to the sensitive part. Which first he attributes to God, and then to his Elixir Vitæ, which he always carries in his pocket adayes, and at night under his pillow. And when he finds himself distempered he taketh a spoonful or two, according as need requireth.” He then goes on to state that people should call and see its effect on him, and purchase so as to ensure health.

The practice of showcasing the impact of one's own product has had many fans and practitioners. A Mrs. Harden, on Newman Street, Oxford Street, used to advertise years ago a hair dye that she demonstrated on her own hair at her home or at the homes of interested ladies if they preferred. Similarly, a quack during the reign of King Charles II started his handbill with this statement: “Salvator Winter, an Italian from the city of Naples, aged 98 years, yet by the grace of God, finds himself healthy and as strong as anyone of fifty, at least in terms of sensitivity. He attributes this first to God, and then to his Elixir Vitæ, which he always carries in his pocket during the day and keeps under his pillow at night. And when he feels unwell, he takes a spoonful or two, depending on what he needs.” He then goes on to encourage people to come see its effects on him and to buy it to maintain their health.

A most original, unique, and successful humbug, quite worthy of mention here, though not a dealer in medicines, was the late Monsieur Mangin of Paris. While passing through the public streets, there was nothing in his personal appearance to distinguish him from any ordinary gentleman. He drove a pair of bay horses, attached to an open carriage with two seats, the back one always occupied by his valet. Sometimes he would take up his stand in the Champs Elysées; at other times near the column in the Place Vendôme; but usually he was seen in the afternoon in the Place de la Bastille, or the Place de la Madeleine. On Sundays his favourite locality was the Place de la Bourse.[407] Mangin was a well-formed, stately-looking individual, with a most self-satisfied countenance, which seemed to say, “I am master here; and all that my auditors have to do is, to listen and obey.” Arriving at his destined stopping-place, his carriage halted. His servant handed him a case from which he took several large portraits of himself, which he hung prominently upon the sides of his carriage, and also placed in front of him a vase filled with medals bearing his likeness on one side, and a description of the blacklead pencils in which he traded on the other. He then leisurely commenced a change of costume. His round hat was replaced by a magnificent burnished helmet, mounted with rich plumes of various brilliant colours. His overcoat was laid aside, and he donned in its stead a costly velvet tunic with gold fringes. He then drew a pair of polished steel gauntlets upon his hands, covered his breast with a brilliant cuirass, and placed a richly-mounted sword at his side. His servant watched him closely, and upon receiving a sign from his master he too put on his official costume, which consisted of a velvet robe and a helmet. The servant then struck up a tune on the richly-toned organ which always formed a part of Mangin’s apparatus. The grotesque appearance of these individuals, and the music, soon drew together an admiring crowd. Then the charlatan stood up. His manner was calm, dignified, imposing, indeed, almost solemn, for his face was as serious as that of the chief mourner at a funeral. His sharp, intelligent eye scrutinised the throng which was pressing around his carriage, until it rested apparently upon some particular individual, then he gave a start; then, with a dark, angry expression, as if the sight was repulsive, he abruptly dropped the visor of his helmet and thus covered his face from the gaze of the anxious crowd. Thus far he had not spoken a word. At last the prelude ended, and the comedy commenced. Stepping forward again to the front of the carriage, he exclaimed—“Gentlemen, you look astonished! You seem to wonder[408] and ask yourselves, who is this modern Quixote? What mean this costume of bygone centuries—this golden chariot—these richly-caparisoned steeds? What is the name, what the purpose of this curious knight-errant? Gentlemen, I will condescend to answer your queries. I am Monsieur Mangin, the great charlatan of France! Yes, gentlemen, I am a charlatan—a mountebank; it is my profession, not from choice, but from necessity. You, gentlemen, created that necessity! You would not patronise true, unpretending, honest merit, but you are attracted by my glittering casque, my sweeping crest, my waving plumes. You are captivated by din and glitter, and therein lies my strength. Years ago I hired a modest shop in the Rue Rivoli, but I could not sell pencils enough to pay my rent, whereas, by assuming this disguise—it is nothing else—I have succeeded in attracting general attention, and in selling literally millions of my pencils; and I assure you, there is at this moment scarcely an artist in France or in Great Britain who does not know that I manufacture by far the best blacklead pencils ever seen.” And Mangin so far differed from other mountebanks in the fact that his wares were everywhere said to be superior to any others.

A truly original, unique, and successful scam artist, definitely worth mentioning here, even though he wasn't a seller of medicines, was the late Monsieur Mangin from Paris. When walking through public streets, there was nothing in his appearance that set him apart from any ordinary gentleman. He drove a pair of bay horses hitched to an open carriage with two seats, the back seat always occupied by his valet. Sometimes he would stop in the Champs Élysées; other times near the column in Place Vendôme; but he was usually seen in the afternoon in Place de la Bastille or Place de la Madeleine. On Sundays, his preferred spot was Place de la Bourse.[407] Mangin was a well-built, stately-looking guy, with a self-satisfied expression that seemed to say, “I’m in charge here; all you need to do is listen and obey.” When he arrived at his chosen spot, his carriage came to a halt. His servant handed him a case from which he pulled out several large portraits of himself, which he hung prominently on the sides of his carriage, and also set in front of him a vase filled with medals featuring his likeness on one side and a description of the graphite pencils he sold on the other. He then leisurely began to change his outfit. His round hat was swapped for a magnificent burnished helmet decorated with rich plumes of various bright colors. He took off his overcoat and put on an expensive velvet tunic with gold fringes. He then slid on a pair of polished steel gauntlets, covered his chest with a shiny cuirass, and placed a richly-adorned sword at his side. His servant observed him closely, and upon receiving a signal from his master, he also donned his official outfit, which consisted of a velvet robe and a helmet. The servant then began to play a tune on the beautifully-toned organ that was always part of Mangin’s setup. The ridiculous appearance of these guys, along with the music, quickly attracted an admiring crowd. Then the con artist stood up. His demeanor was calm, dignified, and imposing—almost solemn, as serious as a chief mourner at a funeral. His sharp, observant eye scanned the crowd pressing around his carriage until it seemed to focus on a specific individual. He then made a sudden movement; with a dark, angry expression as if disgusted by what he saw, he abruptly lowered the visor of his helmet, shielding his face from the eager crowd. Up until this point, he hadn’t uttered a word. Finally, the prelude finished, and the show began. Stepping forward again to the front of the carriage, he exclaimed, “Gentlemen, you look astonished! You seem to wonder and ask yourselves, who is this modern Quixote? What is the meaning of this costume from the past—this golden chariot—these elaborately adorned horses? What is the name, what is the purpose of this curious knight-errant? Gentlemen, I will deign to answer your questions. I am Monsieur Mangin, the great con artist of France! Yes, gentlemen, I am a charlatan—a mountebank; it is my profession, not by choice, but by necessity. You, gentlemen, created that necessity! You would not support true, unpretentious, honest talent, but you are drawn in by my shiny helmet, my grand crest, my flowing plumes. You are captivated by noise and glamour, and that’s where my strength lies. Years ago, I rented a modest shop on Rue Rivoli, but I couldn't sell enough pencils to cover my rent. However, by putting on this disguise—it’s nothing else—I’ve managed to draw widespread attention and sell literally millions of my pencils; and I assure you, right now, there’s hardly an artist in France or Great Britain who doesn’t know that I make the very best graphite pencils you can find.” And Mangin differed from other con artists in that his products were widely regarded as superior to others.

Speaking of Mangin reminds us of another French itinerant who forms the central figure of a rather amusing story. In July 1817 a man of imposing figure, wearing a large sabre and immense moustache, arrived at one of the principal inns of a provincial city in France, with a female of agreeable shape and enchanting mien. He alighted at the moment the dinner was being served up at the table d’hôte. His martial appearance and bearing caused all the guests to rise with respect; they felt assured he must be a lieutenant-general or a major-general at least. A new governor was expected in the province about this time, and everybody believed that it was he who had arrived incognito. The officer of gens d’armes gave him the place of honour, the comptroller of the customs and the receiver of taxes[409] sat each by the side of madame, and exerted their wit and gallantry to the utmost. All the tit-bits, all the most exquisite wines, were placed before the fortunate couple. At length the party broke up, and every one ran to report through the city that M. le Gouverneur had arrived. But, oh, what was their surprise, when the next day his Excellency, clad in a scarlet coat, and his august companion, dressed out in a gown glittering with tinsel, mounted a small open calash, and preceded by some musicians, went about the squares and public ways selling Swiss tea and balm of Mecca! Imagine the fury of the guests! They complained to the maire, and demanded that the audacious quack should be compelled to lay aside the characteristic mark of the brave. The prudent magistrate assembled the common council; and those respectable persons, after a long deliberation, considering that nothing in the charter forbad a citizen to let his beard grow on his upper lip, dismissed the complaint altogether. The same evening the supposed governor gave a serenade to the offended diners, and the next day took his leave, and continued his journey amid the acclamations of the populace.

Speaking of Mangin reminds us of another French traveler who is at the center of a rather amusing story. In July 1817, a man of striking presence, wearing a large sword and a massive mustache, arrived at one of the main inns in a provincial city in France, accompanied by an attractive woman with a charming demeanor. He stepped down just as dinner was being served at the table d’hôte. His military appearance and demeanor made all the guests stand up in respect; they were convinced he had to be at least a lieutenant-general or major-general. A new governor was expected in the province around this time, and everyone believed he had arrived incognito. The local police officer gave him the place of honor, while the customs officer and the tax collector sat beside the lady, trying their best to impress her with their wit and charm. All the best food and most exquisite wines were placed before the fortunate couple. Eventually, the gathering broke up, and everyone rushed to spread the word throughout the city that the Governor had arrived. But, oh, what a surprise it was when the next day, His Excellency, dressed in a bright red coat, and his companion, adorned in a gown sparkling with glitter, climbed into a small open carriage, and, accompanied by some musicians, went around the public squares selling Swiss tea and balm of Mecca! Imagine the outrage of the guests! They complained to the maire and demanded that the shameless quack be forced to remove his military symbols. The cautious magistrate called a meeting of the common council; after a long discussion, those respected members decided that nothing in the charter prohibited a citizen from growing a mustache, and they dismissed the complaint altogether. That same evening, the supposed governor gave a serenade to the offended diners, and the next day he took his leave and continued his journey amid the cheers of the public.

It would be interesting to know what quack—for a quack it certainly must have been—was first responsible for the belief that a child’s caul would save a man from drowning. The origin of this fiction is, however, hidden under the dust of ages. It is customary for people who assume what they wish to believe, to state that the superstition went out when education came in; but that such is not the case a perusal of the advertisement sheets of current journals will show. Here is a rather curious specimen of a generation ago:—

It would be interesting to know which fraud—because it definitely was a fraud—was first behind the belief that a child’s caul could save a person from drowning. The origin of this myth is, however, buried under the dust of time. People who cling to what they want to believe often claim that this superstition disappeared when education became more widespread; but that this isn’t true can be seen in the advertisement pages of today’s magazines. Here’s a rather curious example from a generation ago:—

A CHILD’S CAUL to be disposed of, particularly recommended to persons going to the Continent on pleasure or business, officers in his Majesty’s navy, merchants trading to the East and West Indies, and all other parts of the globe, being exposed to the dangers of the seas, having the caul in their possession their life will most assuredly always be preserved. Address by letter only, prepaid, to Mr W., Temple Chambers, Falcon Court, Fleet Street.

A KID'S CAUL for sale, especially suggested for those traveling to Europe for leisure or work, officers in the King’s navy, merchants trading to the East and West Indies, and anyone else around the world who faces the risks of the sea. Having a caul with you will definitely ensure your safety. Please contact Mr. W. by mail only, with postage paid, at Temple Chambers, Falcon Court, Fleet Street.

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It must be admitted that the demand for these extremely portable life-preservers has quite gone so far as advertisements are concerned, all that we have seen of modern years being in reference to cauls that the owners wished to part with. When these preventives were fully believed in, an ancient mariner must have been as much surprised as afraid when he went down to the bottom. Captain Marryat tells a rather funny story of a pair of canvas inexpressibles that refused to sink because they had a caul in one of the pockets; and in the days of Howe, Collingwood, and Nelson, a rare trade was driven in cauls, real and imitation, which then fetched fancy prices.

It has to be acknowledged that the demand for these highly portable life jackets has really ramped up in terms of advertising, with everything we've seen in recent years being about the cauls that owners wanted to sell. When people truly believed in these devices, an old sailor must have been just as surprised as he was scared when he went under. Captain Marryat shares a rather amusing story about a pair of canvas pants that wouldn’t sink because they had a caul in one of the pockets; and back in the days of Howe, Collingwood, and Nelson, there was a thriving market in both real and fake cauls, which fetched high prices.

The motives will be apparent which prevent our entering on the merits and demerits of quacks and quack medicines of the present day. Some of the latter are doubtless concocted with skill, and, under peculiar circumstances, are productive of much good, while others are quite the reverse in all particulars. Into this subject we cannot go, as we have no wish to advertise any one nostrum at the expense of another, or to subject ourselves to the expense and unpleasantness which too often attends on outspokenness. We shall rest content with the facts that the most impudent empirics confine themselves to “certain diseases” and hole-and-corner advertisements, and that analytical chemists and comparatively recent legislation have provided for us remedies for any excess on the part of the patent-medicine manufacturers, any one of whom a single false step would irretrievably ruin. Besides, the curious need look no further than the current newspapers for any quantity of average specimens.

The reasons will be clear why we won't dive into the pros and cons of quacks and quack medicines today. Some of these remedies are definitely put together with skill and can, under certain conditions, do a lot of good, while others are completely the opposite in every way. We can't get into this topic because we don’t want to promote one treatment over another or deal with the costs and unpleasantness that often comes with being too honest. We’re content to note that the boldest frauds limit themselves to “specific diseases” and shady advertisements, and that analytical chemists and newer laws help us keep in check any excesses from the patent-medicine makers, any of whom could face irreversible damage from a single misstep. Plus, anyone curious doesn’t have to look far beyond the current newspapers to find plenty of typical examples.

Graham and his Celestial Bed are worthy of a chapter to themselves, especially as we have already run to such length on the subject of quacks and quackery.

Graham and his Celestial Bed deserve a chapter of their own, especially since we’ve already covered so much about quacks and quackery.


[37] After all Patence was only an imitator in this particular. In the Gentleman’s Magazine of 1735, there is a reference to the “Unborn Doctor of Moorfields,” who flourished very early in the eighteenth century. This man upon being asked to explain his mysterious title, replied, “Why, I wasn’t born a doctor, was I?”

[37] After all, Patence was just a pretender in this regard. In the Gentleman’s Magazine from 1735, there’s a mention of the “Unborn Doctor of Moorfields,” who was prominent very early in the eighteenth century. When this man was asked to clarify his unusual title, he responded, “Well, I wasn't born a doctor, was I?”

[38] This refers to the regular mode of eminent Surgeons, who seldom cut for Fistulæ or Piles, but in the presence of their assistants: because some patients have died under the operation, and others some days after.

[38] This refers to the usual practice of top Surgeons, who rarely perform surgery for Fistulas or Hemorrhoids without their assistants present: because some patients have died during the operation, and others days later.


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CHAPTER 15.
GRAHAM AND HIS COSMIC BED.

In the year 1775 there commenced practice in London one of the most extraordinary empirics of any time, whose name was Graham. He was the son of a saddler in the Cowgate, Edinburgh, where he was born in 1745. Having graduated as a doctor of medicine at the University of the modern Athens, he practised for some time at Pontefract. After a short residence in that town, Dr Graham went to America, where he figured as a philanthropic physician, travelling for the benefit of mankind, to administer relief in the most desperate diseases to patients whose cases had hitherto puzzled ordinary physicians. And here he picked up a deal of experience, which he put to the test on his return. Having the advantage of a handsome person, a polite address, an agreeable conversation, and great fluency of speech, he obtained admission into the first circles, particularly in New England, where, as he himself stated, he reaped “golden opinions.” Returning to England, he made an excursion through the country, and according to his own account, was eminently successful in curing many individuals whose cases had been considered desperate. In 1775 Graham settled in London, opening a house in Pall Mall, “nearly opposite the King’s Palace,” where he devoted his attention specially to disorders of the ear and eye, and inserted advertisements to that effect in the daily papers. These advertisements, though by no means couched in so bombastic a style as Graham’s later productions, still have an[412] undeniable spice of quackery about them. They are, however, rather too lengthy for insertion. One of them which appeared on February 9, 1776, after stating that from motives of delicacy the Doctor made it an invariable rule never on any account to mention the cure, however extraordinary, of any person, poor or rich, gives the following particulars of his practice:—

In 1775, a remarkable practitioner emerged in London, named Graham. He was born in 1745 to a saddler in the Cowgate, Edinburgh. After earning his medical degree from the University of the modern Athens, he practiced for a while in Pontefract. Following a brief stay there, Dr. Graham traveled to America, where he acted as a philanthropic physician, working to help people with the most serious illnesses that had stumped regular doctors. During this time, he gained a lot of experience, which he later used upon his return. With his good looks, polite demeanor, engaging conversation, and eloquent speech, he gained access to high society, especially in New England, where he claimed to receive “golden opinions.” After returning to England, he traveled around the country and, according to his own account, was very successful in curing many patients whose conditions were considered hopeless. In 1775, Graham settled in London, opening a practice on Pall Mall, “almost opposite the King’s Palace,” focusing specifically on ear and eye disorders, and he placed advertisements in daily newspapers to promote this. Although these ads weren't as flashy as his later ones, they still had a noticeable hint of quackery. However, they were too lengthy to include here. One ad that appeared on February 9, 1776, mentioned that out of respect, the Doctor made it a rule never to disclose the names of those he cured, no matter how remarkable their successes were, and provided the following details about his practice:—

Dr Graham began to practise in London, Feb. 1, 1775, and the following is the general state of his Practice in disorders of the Eye and Ear: from that time to November 1, being a period of nine Months, cures or relieved 281; refused as incurable on their first Application, 317; after a short Trial (by desire) found incurable 47; dismissed for Neglect, etc. 57; country, foreign, and other Patients, events unknown, 381.

Dr. Graham started practicing in London on February 1, 1775, and here’s an overview of his work in treating eye and ear disorders: from that time until November 1, over a span of nine months, he cured or relieved 281 patients; 317 were deemed incurable upon their first visit; after a brief trial (upon request), 47 were found to be incurable; 57 were dismissed for neglect, etc.; and there were 381 patients from the countryside, abroad, and others, with outcomes unknown.

After residing in London for some time, he visited Scotland, and was employed by people of the first quality, who were tempted to put themselves under his care by the fascination of his manner and the fame of his wondrous cures. So popular was he that he might have settled in Edinburgh to great advantage, but he preferred returning to England. He fixed his abode in London, where he set on foot one of the most original and extravagant institutions that could well be imagined, the object of which was, according to the ipsissima verba of one of the Doctor’s advertisements, “the propagation of a much more strong, beautiful, active, healthy, wise, and virtuous race of human beings, than the present puny, insignificant, foolish, peevish, vicious, and nonsensical race of Christians, who quarrel, fight, bite, devour, and cut one another’s throat about they know not what.” The idea was original and singular in the highest degree; but he founded his hopes on a perfect knowledge of human nature, and the success which attended his experiment proved that he had calculated with judgment. It has been assumed by some that he really believed in his own statements. That must have been the result of repeating them so often, and in this particular he was by[413] no means singular. In May 1779 he opened what he called “The Temple of Health” in the Adelphi, the purposes of which may be best understood from one of his advertisements which appeared in the Morning Herald and other newspapers pretty constantly between 1778 and 1781:—

After living in London for a while, he visited Scotland and was hired by high-profile individuals who were drawn to him by his captivating personality and the reputation of his amazing cures. He was so popular that he could have easily established himself in Edinburgh, but he chose to go back to England instead. He settled in London, where he started one of the most original and outrageous institutions imaginable. The goal, according to the exact words from one of the Doctor’s advertisements, was “to promote a much stronger, more beautiful, active, healthy, wise, and virtuous race of human beings than the current weak, petty, foolish, cranky, corrupt, and nonsensical race of Christians, who argue, fight, bite, devour, and cut each other’s throats over things they don’t even understand.” The idea was highly unique and original; however, he based his hopes on a deep understanding of human nature, and the success of his experiment showed that he had assessed the situation wisely. Some have suggested that he genuinely believed his own claims. This belief likely stemmed from repeating them so frequently, and in this regard, he was by no means unique. In May 1779, he opened what he called “The Temple of Health” in the Adelphi, and the purposes of this establishment are best understood from one of his advertisements that appeared regularly in the Morning Herald and other newspapers between 1778 and 1781:—

Temple of Health, Adelphi.

Health Temple, Adelphi.

To their Excellencies the Foreign Ambassadors, to the Nobility, Gentry, and to Persons of Learning and of Taste.

To their Excellencies the Foreign Ambassadors, to the Nobility, Gentry, and to Individuals of Knowledge and Good Taste.

By Particular Desire, the Exhibitions at the Temple of Health will be continued as usual every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday Evenings, till the Temple of Hymen be opened, which will be announced in the Public Papers.

By special request, the exhibitions at the Temple of Health will continue as usual every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evening, until the Place of worship of Hymen opens, which will be announced in the local papers.

THE CELESTIAL BRILLIANCY of the Medico-Electrical Apparatus in all the apartments of the Temple, will be exhibited

THE CELESTIAL BRILLIANCY of the Medico-Electrical Apparatus in all the rooms of the Temple will be displayed

By Dr. Graham himself

By Dr. Graham himself

Who will have the honour of explaining the true Nature and Effects of Electricity, Air, Music, and Magnetism when applied to the Human Body.

Who will have the honor of explaining the true nature and effects of electricity, air, music, and magnetism when applied to the human body?

In the Introductory Oration, the whole Art of enjoying Health and vigour of Body and of Mind, and of preserving and exalting personal beauty and loveliness; or in other words of living with Health, Honour, and Happiness, in this world for at least an hundred years, is pointed out and warmly inculcated. Previous to the display of the Electrical Fire, the Doctor will delicately touch upon the Celestial Beds which are soon to be opened in the Temple of Hymen, in Pall Mall, for the propagation of Beings, rational and far stronger and more beautiful in mental as well as in bodily Endowments, than the present puny, feeble and nonsensical race of Christians—probationary immortals, which crawl and fret, and cut one anothers throat for nothing at all, on most parts of this terraqueous globe.

In the Introductory Oration, the entire art of enjoying good health and physical and mental vigor, as well as maintaining and enhancing personal beauty and charm—essentially, the key to living with health, honor, and happiness in this world for at least a hundred years—is highlighted and passionately emphasized. Before demonstrating the Electrical Fire, the Doctor will briefly mention the Heavenly Beds that are soon to open in the Temple of Hymen on Pall Mall, designed for the creation of beings that are rational and significantly stronger and more beautiful in both mental and physical attributes than the current weak, fragile, and nonsensical race of Christians—temporary immortals, who crawl and fret and cut each other’s throats for no reason at all, in many parts of this world.

This Apparatus which visibly displays, as it were, the various facilities of the material Soul of universal and eternal Nature, is acknowledged by all who have seen it, to be by far the largest, most useful and most magnificent that now is or that ever was in the world. Admittance 5s.

This device that clearly shows, in a way, the different features of the physical essence of universal and timeless Nature is recognized by everyone who has seen it as the largest, most practical, and most impressive ever in the world. Admission is 5 shillings.

But in order that Persons of every Rank may have a View of this most magnificent Apparatus, the Temple of Health may be viewed every Day this Week, from two o’Clock in the Afternoon till eight at Night. Admittance 1s.

But so that people of all backgrounds can see this magnificent setup, the Temple of Health will be open for viewing every day this week, from 2 PM to 8 PM. Admission is 1 shilling.

N.B.—A Pamphlet is now published, (by permission) with the[414] particulars of several hundred Cures in confirmed Diseases, lately performed at the Temple of Health, with the Names and Residence of the Patients, at their own particular Desire, to be had of the Porter at the Temple, price only 3d.

Note:—A pamphlet is now available, (with permission) containing details of several hundred cures for chronic diseases, recently carried out at the Temple of Health, along with the names and addresses of the patients, shared at their own request, available from the Porter at the Temple, for just 3d.

As a further attraction to his establishment, Graham secured the services of a beautiful young woman, whom he styled “Vestina, the Rosy Goddess of Health,” who presided over the evening lectures, and, according to the advertisements, assisted “at the display of the Celestial Meteors, and of that sacred Vital Fire over which she watches, and whose application in the cure of diseases, she daily has the honour of directing.” The lady who acted this part subsequently became notorious as the wife of Sir William Hamilton, ambassador to the Court of Naples. Her name was Emma Hart, and before she was raised to the dignity of Goddess of Health, she had officiated in the more humble capacity of nursery and lady’s maid in gentlemen’s families. Eventually, after having sat as model to Romney and other painters, and having lived under the protection of different gentlemen, she was finally married in 1791 at St George’s, Hanover Square, to Sir William Hamilton. Her subsequent connection with Lord Nelson, and her power over that great naval hero but weak human being, as well as the humiliating positions in which she placed her dotard of a husband, form part of the history of this country.

As an added draw to his business, Graham hired a stunning young woman, whom he called “Vestina, the Rosy Goddess of Health.” She led the evening lectures and, according to the ads, helped “with the display of the Celestial Meteors and that sacred Vital Fire she oversees, and whose use in treating illnesses she proudly directs every day.” The woman in this role later became famous as the wife of Sir William Hamilton, the ambassador to the Court of Naples. Her name was Emma Hart, and before being elevated to the title of Goddess of Health, she worked as a nursery and lady’s maid in men’s households. After serving as a model for Romney and other artists, and living with various gentlemen, she finally married Sir William Hamilton in 1791 at St George’s, Hanover Square. Her later affair with Lord Nelson, and her influence over that great naval hero but weak man, along with the embarrassing situations she put her elderly husband in, are part of this country’s history.

In another of his advertisements Graham offers to explain “the whole art of enjoying health and vigour of body and mind, and of preserving and exalting personal beauty and loveliness; or, in other words, of living with health, honour, and happiness in this world, for at least a hundred years.” One of the means for ensuring this end was the constant use of mud baths; and that the Doctor might be observed to practise what he preached, he was to be seen, on stated occasions, immersed in mud to the chin, accompanied by Vestina, who had only then recently left off nursing children[415] and attending on ladies. Her beauty attracted general attention, and brought Graham a deal of practice. While she remained in the mud bath, she had her hair elaborately dressed in the prevailing fashion, with powder, flowers, feathers, and ropes of pearls; Graham appearing in an equally elaborate wig.

In one of his ads, Graham promises to explain “the whole art of enjoying health and vitality in both body and mind, and maintaining and enhancing personal beauty and attractiveness; or, in other words, living with health, honor, and happiness in this world for at least a hundred years.” One way to achieve this was through regular mud baths; and to show he practices what he preaches, he could be seen, on certain occasions, submerged in mud up to his chin, accompanied by Vestina, who had only just stopped nursing children and looking after ladies. Her beauty caught everyone's attention and brought Graham a lot of clients. While she was in the mud bath, her hair was styled elaborately in the latest fashion, adorned with powder, flowers, feathers, and strings of pearls; Graham sported an equally elaborate wig.

In the spring of 1781 the Temple of Health was removed to Schomberg House (now the Ordnance Office), Pall Mall, and the “Temple of Hymen” and “Celestial Bed” were exhibited to the gaze of the profane and the curious. Altogether the establishment was of a very extraordinary description. The front was ornamented with an enormous gilt sun, a statue of Hygieia, and other attractive emblems; the suites of rooms were superbly furnished, and the walls decorated with mirrors, so as to confer on the place an effect like that of an enchanted palace. All the exertions of the painter and sculptor, all the enchantments of vocal and instrumental music, all the powers of electricity and magnetism, were called into operation to enliven and heighten the scene. In a word, all that could delight the eye or ravish the ear, all that could please the smell, give poignancy to the taste, or gratify the touch, were combined to give effect to the whole—at least such was his own account. As a further means of attraction, he hired two men of extraordinary stature, two sons of Anak, whom he appareled in showy and startling liveries, and each of whom wore an enormous cocked-hat, whose business it was to distribute bills from house to house through the town. These handbills were curiously suggestive of the wonderful Doctor’s general bombastic style. Here is one of them:—

In the spring of 1781, the Temple of Health was relocated to Schomberg House (now the Ordnance Office) in Pall Mall, where the “Temple of Hymen” and “Celestial Bed” were displayed for the curious and the public to see. Overall, the establishment was quite extraordinary. The front featured a huge gilded sun, a statue of Hygieia, and other eye-catching symbols; the rooms were lavishly furnished, and the walls were lined with mirrors, giving the place an enchanted palace vibe. Every effort of painters and sculptors, the magic of music, and the powers of electricity and magnetism were used to make the scene come alive. In short, everything that could delight the eye or please the ear, engage the sense of smell, tantalize the taste, or satisfy the touch was combined to create an effect—at least that’s what he claimed. To make it even more appealing, he hired two exceptionally tall men, two giants, dressed in flashy and startling uniforms, each wearing a huge cocked hat, whose job was to distribute flyers from house to house throughout the town. These handbills were curious examples of the wonderful Doctor’s typical over-the-top style. Here is one of them:—

Temple of Health and of Hymen. Pall Mall.

Temple of Health and of Hymen. Pall Mall.

THE LECTURE at the above place having been received by very numerous, polite and brilliant audiences of Ladies and Gentlemen with unbounded applause, it will be repeated This and every Evening this Week; and precisely at 8 o’clock the Gentleman Usher of the Rosy Rod, assisted by the High Priestess, will conduct the[416] rosy, the gigantic, the stupendous Goddess of Health to the Celestial Throne.

THE LECTURE at the above location has been received by a very large, polite, and impressive audience of ladies and gentlemen with enthusiastic applause, so it will be repeated every night this week, starting precisely at 8 o’clock. The Gentleman Usher of the Rosy Rod, along with the High Priestess, will lead the[416] rosy, gigantic, and remarkable Goddess of Health to the Celestial Throne.

The blooming Priestess of the Temple will endeavour to entertain Ladies and Gentlemen of candour and good nature, by reading a Lecture on the simplest and most efficacious means of preserving health, beauty, and personal loveliness, and serene mental brilliancy, even to the extremest old age.

The flourishing High Priestess of the Place of worship will strive to engage Ladies and Gentlemen of honesty and kindness, by presenting a talk on the easiest and most effective ways to maintain health, beauty, and personal charm, along with calm mental clarity, all the way to advanced age.

Vestina, the Gigantic! on the Celestial Throne, as the Goddess of Health, will exhibit in her own person, a proof of the all-blessing effects of virtue, temperance, regularity, simplicity, and moderation; and in these luxurious, artificial, and effeminate times, to recommend those great virtues.

Vestina, the Huge! on the Celestial Throne, as the Goddess of Health, will show in her own presence proof of the uplifting effects of virtue, self-control, consistency, simplicity, and moderation; and in these extravagant, artificial, and overly indulgent times, to promote those important virtues.

The Temple (which exhibits more riches, more elegance, and more brilliancy than any royal Palace in the world) will as usual be sweetly illuminated with wax, in the highest, most dazzling, and most celestial magnificence from 7 till 10 o’clock, This evening and every Evening this week, and the Lecture will begin precisely at eight. Both before and after the Lecture, one of Vestina’s Fairy Train will warble forth sweet celestial sounds.—Admittance only One Shilling.

The Temple (which has more wealth, elegance, and brilliance than any royal palace in the world) will be beautifully lit with candles, showcasing the highest, most dazzling, and most heavenly splendor from 7 to 10 PM tonight and every night this week, with the lecture starting exactly at eight. Before and after the lecture, one of Vestina’s Fairy Train will sing sweet heavenly melodies.—Admission only One Pound.

The magnificent Electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and unique decorations of this magical Edifice—of this enchanting Elysian Palace! where wit and mirth, love and beauty—all that can delight the soul, and all that can ravish the senses, will hold their court, This and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous assemblage.

The amazing electrical equipment and the incredibly bright and unique decorations of this magical building—this charming paradise! where humor and joy, love and beauty—all that can lift the spirit and all that can captivate the senses—will gather here, every evening this week, in pure and joyful celebration.

*** Ladies of rank and character are assured, that nothing will be said or seen, which can give even the smallest offence to the chastest and most delicate female eye or ear, and that every thing will be conducted with the most perfect decency and decorum.—Ladies are requested to come early, in order that they may be agreeably accommodated with seats.

*** Women of distinction and good character can be confident that nothing will be said or done that might offend even the most pure and sensitive female sensibility, and everything will be handled with the utmost decency and propriety.—We kindly ask ladies to arrive early so they can be comfortably seated.

*** A very few copies still remaining of Dr. Graham’s Private Advisers (sealed up, price One Guinea) to those Ladies and Gentlemen who wish to have children, or to become snowy pillars of Health and Beauty, studded as it were with roses, and streaked with celestial blue, may now be had at only Half a Guinea; his other curious and eccentric works, containing full descriptions of his Travels, Discoveries, Improvements, Principles, Cures, Electrical Apparatus, etc.—formerly 3s. 6d., now only 1s. 9d., and Vestina, the rosy Goddess’s warm Lecture, price 2s. 6d.

*** A few copies of Dr. Graham’s Private Advisers (sealed, price One Guinea) for those ladies and gentlemen who want to have children, or to become radiant symbols of health and beauty, adorned with roses and touched with celestial blue, are now available for just Half a Guinea. His other unique and unusual works, which include detailed accounts of his travels, discoveries, innovations, principles, cures, electrical devices, etc.—formerly 3s. 6d., are now only 1s. 9d. Additionally, Vestina, the warm lecture from the goddess of roses, is priced at 2s. 6d.

All Dr. Graham’s Medicines to be had as usual, at the Temple of Health.

All of Dr. Graham’s medicines are available as usual at the Temple of Health.

Note. Ladies and Gentlemen Electrified.

Note. Ladies and Gentlemen, Electrified.

All went well for a time, and the Temple was nightly crowded with silly people who paid their half-guineas, for[417] the shilling of the advertisements only just admitted to the “body of the hall.” Sometimes there were magnificent illuminations and Elysian promenades for both ladies and gentlemen, to which persons in masks were also admitted. “The enchanting glory of these seemingly magical scenes,” said the advertisements, “will break forth about seven, and die away about ten o’clock; during which time Oriental odours and ætherial essences will perfume the air, while the hymænal sopha blazes forth with the plenitude of the soft lambent celestial fire.” Having opened such scenes to the eyes of the wondering world, the Doctor thus addresses his contemporaries in another advertisement:—

All went well for a while, and the Temple was packed every night with silly people who paid their half-guineas, since the shilling for the advertisements only allowed entry to the “body of the hall.” Sometimes there were stunning light displays and heavenly strolls for both ladies and gentlemen, who were also allowed entry if they wore masks. “The enchanting beauty of these seemingly magical scenes,” the ads said, “will unfold around seven and fade away around ten o’clock; during this time, Oriental scents and ethereal fragrances will fill the air, while the wedding sofa glows with the richness of soft, flickering celestial fire.” After unveiling such spectacles to the amazed world, the Doctor then addresses his contemporaries in another ad

TEMPLE OF HEALTH AND HYMEN,
PALL MALL,
Near the King’s Palace.

TEMPLE OF HEALTH AND HYMEN,
PALL MALL,
Near the King's Palace.

IF there be one human Being, rich or poor, Male or Female, or of the doubtful Gender, in or near this great Metropolis of the World, who has not had the good Fortune and the Happiness of hearing the celebrated Lecture, and of seeing the grand celestial Bed, the magnificent electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and unique Decorations of this magical Edifice, of this enchanting Elysian Palace!—where Wit and Mirth, Love and Beauty—all that can delight the Soul and all that can ravish the Senses—will hold their Court, this, and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous Assemblage—let them now come forth, or for ever afterwards let them blame themselves and bewail their irremediable Misfortune.

IF there is a single person, rich or poor, male or female, or of uncertain gender, in or near this great city of the world, who hasn’t had the good fortune and happiness of hearing the famous lecture, and seeing the amazing celestial bed, the magnificent electrical equipment, and the incredibly bright and unique decorations of this magical building, this enchanting paradise!—where wit and joy, love and beauty—all that can please the soul and all that can dazzle the senses—will gather here, this, and every evening this week, in pure and joyful assembly—let them now come forward, or for all time let them blame themselves and mourn their irreversible misfortune.

But the most important feature of Dr Graham’s establishment was the Celestial Bed. This wonder-working piece of furniture was made by one Denton,[39] a tinman, who lived in Coventry Street, and subsequently kept a bookseller’s shop in High Holborn, and it was said to have cost £12,000. It was beautifully carved and gilt, covered with silk damask,[418] supported by twenty-eight glass pillars, and surmounted by a richly carved and gilt canopy, from which crimson silk curtains with fringe and tassels were suspended. Graham pretended that married couples without children might have heirs by sleeping in this bed, for which privilege he demanded one hundred pounds per night; and such is the folly of wealth, that persons of high rank were named who had acceded to these terms. This modern Æsculapius sold also for half a guinea a “Treatise on Health,” which was intended to render marriages happy, and entered into full particulars of the means to ensure this great and important object. After a long list of preliminary and necessary preparations, the principal of which was the utmost attention to cleanliness, the writer insisted on certain regulations. He recommended particularly the practice of early hours for rising and for retiring to rest. He advised that in bed-chambers the light, especially that of the moon, should not be excluded by curtains. He confessed he could give no sufficient reason for this predilection for the lunar rays, but observed that there are a thousand things in nature which exist without our being able to explain the reasons of their existence. He also advised married people to sing sometimes. “Music,” said he, “softens the mind of a happy couple, makes them all love, all harmony; their bodies, their souls unite, their existence is melted into a single being, which yields itself up with rapture to divine transports, and loses itself in an Elysium of bliss. In this state, this incessantly progressive enjoyment, the happy couple imagine themselves raised above this world, and become inhabitants of a superior region.” Thus he continued, till coming at last to the principal part of his discourse: “When the preliminary regimen which I have just described has been scrupulously observed and followed, and a new vigour has been acquired by drinking of the divine balm, which for the benefit of the human race, I have concocted with my own hand, and which, however,[419] costs only a guinea a bottle, and when all these means have not proved sufficient for arriving at the end proposed, the last must then be absolutely applied to, that most extraordinary expedient which I alone possess, and which cannot fail. This agent is a most marvellous celestial bed, which I call magnetico-electric; it is the first, the only one in the world, or that ever existed. It is placed on the second floor, in a large and elegant hall, on the right hand of my orchestra, and immediately before my charming hermitage. In a neighbouring closet is placed a cylinder by which I communicate the celestial fire to the bed-chamber, that fluid which animates and vivifies all, and those cherishing vapours and Oriental perfumes, which I convey thither by means of tubes of glass. The celestial bed rests on six massy and transparent columns; coverings of purple, and curtains of celestial blue surround it, and the bed-clothes are perfumed with the most costly essences of Arabia: it is exactly similar to those that adorn the palaces in Persia, and to that of the favourite sultana in the seraglio of the Grand Turk. This bed is the fruit of the most laborious industry, and of the most indefatigable zeal. I will not mention the sums it has cost me: they are immense. I shall only add that I have omitted none of those precautions which decency and delicacy have a right to exact. Neither I, nor any of my people, are entitled to ask who are the persons that rest in this chamber, which I have denominated the Holy of Holies. This bed is never shown to those who come only to view the accessory parts. This precaution is as proper as it is delicate; for is there a being frigid enough to resist the influence of that pleasure, of those transports which this enchanting place inspires? It furnishes the grossest imagination with the means of refining its enjoyments, of multiplying its pleasures, and of carrying them to their highest degree. But the consequences are cruel; such dangerous refinements on the pleasures of the senses abridge the period of life, and relax the springs both of body and[420] mind. Persons, however, who would penetrate to this throne of pleasure, are intreated to signify their desire to me in writing, and having appointed the night, and enclosed a bank-bill for fifty pounds, I shall furnish them with an admission ticket.” Ultimately, as the demand decreased, the price was reduced to twenty-five pounds, and it is said that even less was at times taken.

But the most important feature of Dr. Graham’s establishment was the Celestial Bed. This amazing piece of furniture was made by a tinman named Denton, who lived on Coventry Street and later ran a bookstore in High Holborn. It was said to have cost £12,000. It was beautifully carved and gilded, covered with silk damask, supported by twenty-eight glass pillars, and topped with a richly carved and gilt canopy, from which crimson silk curtains with fringe and tassels were hung. Graham claimed that married couples without children could have heirs by sleeping in this bed, and he charged one hundred pounds per night for this privilege; such is the folly of wealth that high-ranking individuals were said to have agreed to these terms. This modern Æsculapius also sold a “Treatise on Health” for half a guinea, intended to make marriages happy, detailing specific ways to achieve this important goal. After a long list of preliminary and necessary preparations, the main one being strict attention to cleanliness, the writer insisted on certain regulations. He particularly recommended maintaining early hours for both waking and sleeping. He advised that in bedrooms, light—especially moonlight—should not be blocked by curtains. He admitted he couldn't fully explain his preference for moonlight but noted that there are countless things in nature we can't explain. He also suggested that married couples should sing sometimes. “Music,” he said, “softens the minds of a happy couple, filling them with love and harmony; their bodies and souls unite, their existence merges into a single being, which surrenders itself joyfully to divine ecstasy and immerses itself in bliss. In this state of ceaseless enjoyment, the happy couple imagines themselves lifted above this world and becoming inhabitants of a higher realm.” He continued until he reached the main point of his discourse: “Once the preliminary regimen I've described has been meticulously followed, and a new vigor has been gained from drinking the divine balm, which I’ve concocted with my own hand and costs only a guinea a bottle, and if all these means still don't lead to the desired end, the last resort must be applied—this extraordinary solution which I alone possess and which is infallible. This agent is a truly marvellous celestial bed, which I call magnetico-electric; it's the first and only one in the world or that has ever existed. It’s located on the second floor in a large, elegant room, to the right of my orchestra and right before my charming retreat. In a neighboring closet is a cylinder through which I channel celestial fire to the bedchamber—this fluid that animates and enlivens everything, along with nurturing vapors and oriental perfumes, which I send there through glass tubes. The celestial bed is supported by six solid and transparent columns; it's surrounded by purple coverings and celestial blue curtains, and the bedclothes are scented with the most expensive essences from Arabia. It’s exactly like the beds adorning the palaces in Persia and the favorite sultana’s bed in the Grand Turk’s seraglio. This bed is the result of intense labor and tireless dedication. I won't mention how much it has cost me—it's immense. I’ll only add that I’ve taken every precaution that decency and delicacy demand. Neither I nor my staff are entitled to know who uses this chamber, which I call the Holy of Holies. This bed is never shown to those who come just to view the other parts. This precaution is as appropriate as it is delicate; for who could resist the pleasure and rapture that this enchanting place inspires? It allows even the coarsest imagination to refine its enjoyment, multiply its pleasures, and elevate them to their highest point. But the consequences can be severe; such dangerous refinements of sensory pleasure shorten life and weaken both body and mind. However, those who wish to access this throne of pleasure are invited to express their request in writing, and after selecting a night and enclosing a fifty-pound banknote, I will provide them with an admission ticket.” Ultimately, as demand decreased, the price was lowered to twenty-five pounds, and it's said that at times even less was charged.

It is not to be supposed that Graham’s contemporaries, except the weakest and most idiotic, believed in the marvellous effects attributed to this bed, or supposed that the Doctor had any motive in making his statements other than those which generally actuate quacks, and lead them into exaggerations. He and certain rich voluptuaries worked very well together with regard to this couch, as may be gathered from various satirical allusions in newspapers of the time, caricatures, &c. It is certain that spendthrifts and men of pleasure were the most profitable customers of the great empiric. The more the “Holy of Holies” began to be visited, the more did Graham add to the luxury and magnificence of the place; but in the month of March 1784 the farce was played out, the Temple of Health was shut, and all the furniture and apparatus put up for public sale. All the paraphernalia which had cost so much money, and with which he was identified—the superb temple of Apollo, the immense electrical machine, the instruments of music which played incessantly, and even the famous celestial bed itself—all fell in one common ruin under the ruthless hammer of the auctioneer.

It's not to be assumed that Graham's contemporaries, other than the weakest and most foolish, genuinely believed in the amazing effects attributed to this bed, or thought that the Doctor had any motivation for his claims beyond what typically drives charlatans and leads them into exaggeration. He and certain wealthy pleasure-seekers collaborated effectively regarding this couch, as evidenced by various satirical references in newspapers of the time, caricatures, etc. It's clear that lavish spenders and pleasure-seeking individuals were the most lucrative customers of the renowned quack. The more the "Holy of Holies" was frequented, the more Graham enhanced the luxury and splendor of the space; however, in March 1784, the farce came to an end, the Temple of Health was closed, and all the furniture and equipment were put up for public auction. All the costly paraphernalia with which he was associated—the magnificent temple of Apollo, the huge electrical machine, the musical instruments that played nonstop, and even the famous celestial bed itself—fell into a common ruin under the merciless hammer of the auctioneer.

In a note which serves as a supplement to the description of the Celestial Bed, the Doctor adds: “Nothing is more surprising than the truly divine energy of this celestial and electric fire, which fills every part of the bed, as well as the magnetic fluid, both of them calculated to give the necessary degree of strength and exertion to the nerves. Besides the melodious tones of the harmonica, the soft sounds of a flute, the charms of an agreeable voice, and the harmonious[421] notes of the organ, being all joined, how can the power and virtue of such a happy conjunction fail in raising sentiments of admiration and pleasure in the soul of the philosopher, and even of the physician?”

In a note that adds to the description of the Celestial Bed, the Doctor states: “Nothing is more amazing than the truly divine energy of this celestial and electric fire, which fills every part of the bed, along with the magnetic fluid, both designed to provide the necessary strength and stimulation to the nerves. In addition to the melodious tones of the harmonica, the soft sounds of a flute, the charm of a pleasant voice, and the harmonious[421] notes of the organ, all together, how can the power and virtue of such a wonderful combination fail to inspire feelings of admiration and pleasure in the soul of the philosopher, and even the physician?”

According to the advertisements, the descriptive exhibition of the apparatus in the daytime was conducted by an “officiating junior priest.” This office was filled by a young medical man named Mitford, afterwards well known as, among other things, father of the celebrated authoress. Graham’s expenses were very heavy, and when after a time his advertisements failed to draw he fell into poverty, and it is said died in very straitened circumstances near Glasgow.

According to the ads, the daytime demonstration of the equipment was led by a “junior priest.” This role was taken by a young doctor named Mitford, who later became well-known as the father of the famous author. Graham’s expenses were quite high, and after a while, when his ads stopped attracting interest, he fell into poverty. It's said he died in very difficult circumstances near Glasgow.


[39] This Denton was a man of great mechanical skill, who made some very curious automaton figures. He was afterwards tried for coining, and acquitted on that charge, but was found guilty on a second count of having implements of coining in his possession. For this crime he was executed at Tyburn, on which occasion Dr Graham was present.

[39] Denton was a guy with impressive mechanical skills who created some really interesting automaton figures. He was later tried for counterfeiting and found not guilty on that charge, but guilty on a second charge for having coining tools in his possession. For that crime, he was executed at Tyburn, and Dr. Graham was there for the event.


[422]

[422]

CHAPTER 16.
Lottery and lottery insurance.

There have been few things which in their time have had more intimate connection with advertising than Lotteries. In fact almost all we can now discover about them is by means of the notices which were published before and after a drawing, as the system of picturesque descriptive writing now applied to everything had not come into fashion during the existence of this legalised species of gambling, which was for generations most ruinous and demoralising in its effects, but which was continued mainly because it added to the revenue, and perhaps because it was considered unfair to stop the speculation of the people while gaming under so many forms and in so many varieties was indulged in by the higher classes. In these days the Legislature has got over any such squeamish feelings—even if it ever possessed them—for though gambling is carried on to as great lengths as ever under certain forms, though within the past few years great scandals have leaked out from clubs and private hells, and though on the turf many noble names have been dragged through the mire, the rank and file of the community are rigidly guarded from any chance of giving way to the temptations of gambling, either by means of the racehorse or the milder forms of speculation which up till recently were allowed in public-houses, and are very properly compelled to be virtuous whether they like it or no.

There have been few things that have been as closely tied to advertising as lotteries. In fact, almost everything we know about them now comes from the announcements made before and after a drawing, since the colorful descriptive writing style we see today hadn't become popular during the time this legalized form of gambling existed. For generations, it was incredibly damaging and corrupting, yet it continued mainly because it increased revenue and perhaps because it seemed unfair to limit the public's speculation while the upper classes were indulging in various forms of gambling. Nowadays, the Legislature has moved past any such reservations—if it ever had them. Even though gambling still occurs extensively in certain forms, and scandals have recently emerged from clubs and private gambling dens, and even though many noble names have been dragged through the mud in horse racing, everyday people are strictly protected from the temptations of gambling, whether it's through horse racing or the milder forms of betting that were allowed in pubs until recently. They're rightly compelled to behave, whether they like it or not.

The origin of lotteries is involved in obscurity, but it is generally believed that the first of them was held in Italy[423] early in the sixteenth century, and that in due course the plan found favour over here, and was gradually taken up by the State. From 1569 down to 1826 (except for a short time following upon an Act of the reign of Anne) lotteries continued to be a source of revenue to the English Government. Some interesting particulars are given by Hone and Chambers, the latter of whom says: “It seems strange that so glaringly immoral a project should have been kept up with such sanction so long. The younger people of the present day may be at a loss to believe that, in the days of their fathers, there were large and imposing offices in London, and pretentious agencies in the provinces, for the sale of lottery tickets; while flaming advertisements on walls, in new books, and in public journals, proclaimed the preferableness of such and such ‘lucky’ offices—this one having sold two-sixteenths of the last twenty-thousand-pounds prize; that one a half of the same; another having sold an entire thirty-thousand-pound ticket the year before; and so on. It was found possible to persuade the public, or a portion of it, that where a blessing had once lighted it was the more likely to light again. The State lottery was framed on the simple principle, that the State held forth a certain sum to be repaid by a larger. The transaction was usually managed thus. The Government gave £10 in prizes for every share taken on an average. A great many blanks or of prizes under £10, left, of course, a surplus for the creation of a few magnificent prizes wherewith to attract the unwary public. Certain firms in the City, known as lottery-office keepers, contracted for the lottery, each taking a certain number of shares; the sum paid by them was always more than £10 per share; and the excess constituted the Government profit. It was customary, for many years, for the contractors to give about £16 to the Government, and then to charge the public from £20 to £22. It was made lawful for the contractors to divide the shares into halves, quarters, eighths, and sixteenths; and the contractors[424] always charged relatively more for these aliquot parts. A man with thirty shillings to spare could buy a sixteenth; and the contractors made a large portion of their profit out of such customers. The Government sometimes paid the prizes in terminable annuities instead of cash; and the loan system and the lottery system were occasionally combined in a very odd way. Thus in 1780, every subscriber of £1000 towards a loan of £12,000,000, at four per cent., received a bonus of four lottery tickets, the value of each of which was £10, and any one of which might be the fortunate number for a twenty or thirty thousand pounds prize. Among the lottery offices, the competition for business was intense. One firm, finding an old woman in the country named Goodluck, gave her £50 a year on condition that she would join them as a nominal partner, for the sake of the attractive effect of her name. In their advertisements each was sedulous to tell how many of the grand prizes had in former years fallen to the lot of persons who had bought at his shop. Woodcuts and copies of verses were abundant, suited to attract the uneducated.”

The origin of lotteries is somewhat unclear, but it’s generally accepted that the first one took place in Italy in the early 1500s, and over time the idea gained popularity in England and was gradually adopted by the State. From 1569 to 1826 (except for a brief period during Queen Anne's reign), lotteries were a source of income for the English Government. Some intriguing details are provided by Hone and Chambers; the latter notes, “It seems odd that such a obviously immoral scheme was supported for so long. Younger people today might find it hard to believe that in their parents’ time, there were large, impressive offices in London and flashy agencies in the provinces selling lottery tickets; while eye-catching advertisements on walls, in new publications, and in public newspapers promoted the advantages of various 'lucky' offices—this one having sold two-sixteenths of the last £20,000 prize; that one half of the same; another having sold a whole £30,000 ticket the year before; and so on. It was possible to convince the public, or at least some of it, that where a blessing had once happened, it was likely to happen again. The State lottery was based on the simple idea that the State offered a certain amount to be repaid by a larger one. The process usually worked this way: The Government paid out £10 in prizes for every share, on average. Many blank tickets or prizes under £10, of course, left a surplus to create a few eye-catching big prizes to lure in the unsuspecting public. Certain firms in the City, known as lottery-office keepers, contracted for the lottery, each taking a specific number of shares; the amount they paid was always over £10 per share, and the excess became the Government’s profit. For many years, it was common for contractors to give about £16 to the Government and then charge the public between £20 and £22. The contractors were allowed to split the shares into halves, quarters, eighths, and sixteenths, and they always charged relatively more for these smaller portions. A person with thirty shillings to spare could buy a sixteenth; and the contractors made a significant portion of their profit from these customers. Sometimes, the Government paid the prizes in annuities instead of cash; and the loan system and the lottery system were occasionally combined in a peculiar manner. For instance, in 1780, every person contributing £1,000 towards a loan of £12 million at four percent received four lottery tickets worth £10 each, any one of which could win a prize of twenty or thirty thousand pounds. Among the lottery offices, competition for business was fierce. One firm, finding an old woman in the countryside named Goodluck, paid her £50 a year on the condition that she would become a nominal partner, for the appealing effect of her name. In their ads, each one was careful to mention how many major prizes had been won by people who bought tickets at their shop. Illustrations and poems aimed at attracting the uneducated were plentiful.”

The first lottery in this country, so far as is known, took place in 1569. Dr Rawlinson, a distinguished antiquary of the last century, produced before the Antiquarian Society in 1748 the following:—

The first lottery in this country, as far as we know, happened in 1569. Dr. Rawlinson, a notable expert in antiquities from the previous century, presented the following:—

A Proposal for a very rich Lottery, general without any Blankes, contayning a great No of good prices, as well of redy money as of Plate and certain sorts of Merchandizes, having been valued and prised by the Commandment of the Queenes most excellent Majesties order, to the extent that such Commodities as may chance to arise thereof, after the charges borne, may be converted towards the reparations of the Havens and Strength of the realme, and towards such other public good workes. The No of lotts shall be foure hundred thousand, and no more; and every lott shall be the summe of tenne shillings sterling only, and no more. To be filled by the feast of St Bartholomew. The shew of Prises ar to be seen in Cheapside, at the sign of the Queenes armes, the house of Mr. Dericke, Goldsmith, Servant to the Queen.

A proposal for a very rich lottery, completely without any blanks, containing a large number of great prizes, including cash, silver, and certain types of merchandise, all valued by the command of Her Majesty the Queen, so that the proceeds after expenses can be used for the repairs of the ports and defenses of the realm, as well as other public good works. The number of lots will be four hundred thousand, and no more; each lot will cost only ten shillings sterling, and no more. It is to be completed by the feast of St. Bartholomew. The list of prizes can be seen in Cheapside, at the sign of the Queen's arms, at the house of Mr. Dericke, a goldsmith and servant to the Queen.

Some other Orders about it in 1567-8.

Some other orders regarding this in 1567-8.

Printed by Hen. Bynneman.

Printed by Hen. Bynneman.

[425]

[425]

According to Stow the drawing of this lottery was commenced at the west door of St Paul’s Cathedral on the 11th of January 1569, and continued day and night until the 6th of May. It was originally intended to be drawn at Dericke’s house, but most likely, as preparations were made, it was discovered that a private establishment would be hardly the place for so continuous a piece of business. Maitland in his “London” says, “Whether this lottery was on account of the public, or the selfish views of private persons, my author[40] does not mention; but it is evident, by the time it took up in drawing, it must have been of great concern. This I have remarked as being the first of the kind I read in England.” By these remarks it would seem that neither Stow nor Maitland had seen the “Proposal” we have quoted above, which gives the reason for the lottery.

According to Stow, the lottery drawing started at the west door of St Paul’s Cathedral on January 11, 1569, and went on day and night until May 6. It was initially supposed to take place at Dericke’s house, but likely, as preparations progressed, it became clear that a private venue wouldn't be suitable for such an ongoing event. Maitland in his “London” states, “Whether this lottery was for the public good or for the selfish interests of private individuals, my author does not mention; but it’s clear, given how long it took to draw, that it must have been quite significant. I’ve noted this as the first of its kind I’ve encountered in England.” From these comments, it seems that neither Stow nor Maitland had seen the “Proposal” we referenced earlier, which explains the purpose of the lottery.

In 1586 there was another drawing, about which we are quaintly told: “A Lotterie, for marvellous rich and beautiful armor, was begunne to be drawn at London, in S. Paules churchyard, at the great west gate, (an house of timber and boord being there erected for that purpose) on St. Peter’s Day in the morning, which Lotterie continued in Drawing day and night for the space of two or three daies.”[41] Of this lottery Lord Burleigh says in his diary at the end of Munden’s State Papers: “June 1586, the Lottery of Armour under the charge of John Calthorp determined.” About the year 1612 James I., “in special favour for the plantation of English colonies in Virginia, granted a lottery to be held at the west end of St Paul’s; whereof one Thomas Sharplys, a taylor of London, had the chief prize, which was four thousand crowns in fair plate.”[42]

In 1586, there was another lottery, which we are amusingly told: “A Lottery for incredibly rich and beautiful armor was started in London, in St. Paul’s churchyard, at the great west gate, where a wooden structure was set up for that purpose, on St. Peter’s Day in the morning. This Lottery continued drawing day and night for two or three days.”[41] In his diary, Lord Burleigh mentions about this lottery at the end of Munden’s State Papers: “June 1586, the Lottery of Armor managed by John Calthorp concluded.” Around 1612, James I., “out of special favor for the establishment of English colonies in Virginia, granted a lottery to be held at the west end of St Paul’s; the main prize, which was four thousand crowns in fine plate, was won by a tailor from London named Thomas Sharplys.”[42]

A correspondent of the Gentlemen’s Magazine in 1778 gives Mr Urban some particulars regarding a lottery “held in London for the present plantation of English colonies in Virginia” in 1619. The writer says: “It may be found,[426] perhaps, upon strict enquiry that this mode of raising money was authorized in many wealthy towns, as well as in the capital; and that it was attended with beneficial effects, not only to the colony of Virginia, but likewise to the town itself where the lottery was held. In proof of this supposition I send you the following authentic extract from the Register of charitable Gifts to the Corporation of Reading:”—

A correspondent of the Gentlemen’s Magazine in 1778 provides Mr. Urban with some details about a lottery “held in London for the establishment of English colonies in Virginia” in 1619. The writer states: “It may be discovered, [426] perhaps, upon closer investigation that this method of raising funds was approved in many affluent towns, as well as in the capital; and that it led to positive outcomes, not only for the colony of Virginia but also for the town where the lottery took place. To support this idea, I’m sending you the following authentic extract from the Register of Charitable Gifts to the Corporation of Reading:”—

Whereas at a Lottery held within the Borough of Reading in the Year of our Ld. God 1619, Gabriel Barber Gent. Agent in the sd. Lottery for the Councell & Company of Virginia, of his own good Will & Charity towarde poor Tradesmen ffreemen & Inhabitants of the sd. Borough of Reading, & for the better enabling such poor Tradesmen to support & bear their Charges in their several Places & Callings in the sd. Corporation from time to time for ever freely gave & delivered to the Mayor & Burgesses of this Corporation the sum of forty Pounds of lawfull Money of England Upon Special Trust & Confidence, that the sd. Mayor & Burgesses & their Successors shall from time to time for ever dispose & lend these 40l. to & amongst Six poor Tradesmen after the rate 06l. 13s. 4d. to each Man for the Term of five Years gratis And after those five Years ended to dispose & lend the sd. 40l. by Such Soms to Six other poor Tradesmen for other five Years & so from five years to five years Successively upon good Security for ever Neverthelesse provided & upon Condition that none of those to whom the sd. Summs of money shall be lent during that Term of five years shall keep either Inn or Tavern or dwell forth of the sd. Borough, but there during that time and terme, shall as other Inhabitants of the sd. Borough reside & dwell.

Whereas at a lottery held in the Borough of Reading in the year of our Lord 1619, Gabriel Barber, a gentleman and agent in that lottery for the Council and Company of Virginia, out of his own goodwill and charity toward poor tradesmen, freemen, and inhabitants of the Borough of Reading, and to better enable such tradesmen to support themselves and cover their expenses in their various roles within the Corporation, freely gave and delivered to the Mayor and Burgesses of this Corporation the sum of forty pounds of lawful money of England. This was done upon special trust and confidence that the Mayor, Burgesses, and their successors would continuously dispose of and lend this £40 to six poor tradesmen at the rate of £6 13s. 4d. to each man for a term of five years without charge. After those five years, they would then lend the same £40 to six other poor tradesmen for another five years, and so on, successively every five years, upon good security forever. However, it is provided and conditioned that none of those to whom the sums of money shall be lent during that five-year term shall keep an inn or tavern or live outside the Borough; instead, they must reside within the Borough as other residents do during that time.

Memorand. that the sd. Sum of 40l. came not into the hands & charge of the Mayor & Burgesses until April 1626.

Memorandum that the said sum of £40 did not come into the hands and responsibility of the Mayor and Burgesses until April 1626.

The writer then concludes with the following somewhat puzzling sentence: “If it be asked what is become of it now? gone, it is supposed, where the chickens went before during the pious Protectorship of Cromwell.”

The writer then wraps up with this rather confusing sentence: “If you ask what’s become of it now? gone, it’s assumed, where the chickens went before during the devout rule of Cromwell.”

Hone in his “Everyday-Book” says that “in 1630, 6th Charles I., there was a project ‘for the conveying of certain springs of water into London and Westminster, from within a mile and a half of Hodsdon, in Hertfordshire, by the undertakers, Sir Edward Stradling and John Lyde.’ The author of this project was one Michael Parker. ‘For[427] defraying the expenses whereof, King Charles grants them a special licence to erect and publish a lottery or lotteries; according,’ says this record, ‘to the course of other lotteries heretofore used or practised.’ This is the first mention of lotteries either in the Fœdera or Statute-book. ‘And for the sole privilege of bringing the said waters in aqueducts to London, they were to pay four thousand pounds per annum into the king’s exchequer: and, the better to enable them to make the said large annual payment, the king grants them leave to bring their aqueducts through any of his parks, chases, lands, &c., and to dig up the same gratis.’” In 1653 there was a lottery at Grocers’ Hall, which has escaped the observation of the earliest inquirers on this subject. In an old weekly paper, called Perfect Account of the Daily Intelligence, November 16-23, 1653, there is the following:—

Hone in his “Everyday-Book” says that “in 1630, during the reign of Charles I., there was a plan for bringing certain springs of water into London and Westminster, located about a mile and a half from Hodsdon in Hertfordshire, by the contractors, Sir Edward Stradling and John Lyde. The person behind this project was one Michael Parker. ‘To cover the expenses, King Charles grants them a special license to set up and conduct a lottery or lotteries; as,’ says this record, ‘in line with previous lotteries that have been used or practiced.’ This is the first reference to lotteries in the Fœdera or the Statute-book. ‘And for the exclusive right to bring the said waters through aqueducts to London, they were to pay four thousand pounds a year into the king’s exchequer: and, to help them manage this substantial annual payment, the king allows them to route their aqueducts through any of his parks, chases, lands, etc., without charge.’” In 1653, there was a lottery at Grocers’ Hall, which has gone unnoticed by the earliest researchers on this topic. In an old weekly publication called Perfect Account of the Daily Intelligence, dated November 16-23, 1653, there is the following:—

Advertisement.
At the Committee for Claims for Lands in Ireland,

Ad.
At the Committee for Claims for Lands in Ireland,

Ordered, that a Lottery be at Grocers-Hall, London, on Thursday 15 Decem. 1653, both for Provinces and Counties, to begin at 8 of the Clock in the forenoon of the same day; and all persons concerned therein are to take notice thereof. W. Tibbs.

Ordered, that a lottery will be held at Grocers' Hall, London, on Thursday, December 15, 1653, for both provinces and counties, starting at 8 o'clock in the morning of that day; and all interested parties should take notice of this. W. Tibbs.

After the Restoration, Charles, whose ideas of rewarding fidelity were always peculiar, granted plate lotteries “with a view to reward those adherents of the Crown who resided within the bills of mortality, and had served with fidelity during the interregnum.” By this is to be understood a gift of plate from the Crown to be disposed of by lot, certain persons—most likely those who had no claim whatever on the score of fidelity—having the privilege of selling tickets. The Gazette tells us that in 1669 Charles II., the Duke of York, and many of the nobility were present “at the grand plate lottery, which, by his Majesty’s command, was then opened at the sign of the Mermaid, over against the mews.” Even if this had been a proper way to reward the faithful, the faithfullest must have felt it had been left rather late. From[428] this plate lottery sprang many successors, the most noticeable of which was the Royal Oak, whose title explains itself. The rapid growth of the institution may be judged by the following, which, according to Anderson in his “History of Commerce,” was published shortly after the drawing to which we have referred:—

After the Restoration, Charles, who always had a unique way of rewarding loyalty, set up plate lotteries “to recognize those supporters of the Crown who lived within the bills of mortality and had served loyally during the interregnum.” This means a gift of plate from the Crown that would be distributed by lot, with certain individuals—most likely those with no real claim to loyalty—having the chance to sell tickets. The Gazette tells us that in 1669, Charles II, the Duke of York, and many nobles were present “at the grand plate lottery, which, by his Majesty’s command, was then opened at the sign of the Mermaid, across from the mews.” Even if this was a suitable way to reward the loyal, those who were truly faithful must have felt it came a bit too late. From this plate lottery came many successors, the most notable being the Royal Oak, which explains its name. The rapid expansion of this institution can be gauged by the following, which, according to Anderson in his “History of Commerce,” was published shortly after the drawing we mentioned:—

THIS is to give Notice, that any Persons who are desirous to farm any of the Counties within the Kingdom of England, or Dominion of Wales, in Order to the setting up of a Plate Lottery, or any other Lottery whatsoever, may repair to the Lottery Office, at Mr. Philips’s House, in Mermaid Court over against the Mews; where they may contract with the Trustees commissioned by his Majesties Letters Patent for the Management of the said Patent, on the Behalf of the truly Loyal Indigent Officers.

THIS is to announce that anyone interested in leasing land in any of the counties within England or Wales for the purpose of starting a Plate Lottery or any other type of lottery can visit the Lottery Office at Mr. Philips’s House in Mermaid Court, across from the Mews. There, they can make arrangements with the Trustees appointed by the King’s Letters Patent to manage this patent on behalf of the genuinely loyal and needy officers.

It is stated that “the Crown exceeded its prerogative by issuing these patents, and the law was not put in motion to question them.” This was not the only point upon which the royal rights were extended, but the tide of loyalty had set in strongly, and Charles was not likely to miss any of the current’s strength. Book lotteries were before this time much in fashion, and with the kinds which came in afterwards, were drawn at the theatres. At Vere Street theatre, which stood in Bear Yard, to which there was an entrance through a passage at the south-west corner of Lincoln’s Inn Fields, another from Vere Street, and a third from Clare Market, Killigrew’s company performed during the seasons of 1661 and 1662, and part of 1663, when they removed to the newly-built theatre in Drury Lane; the Vere Street theatre was then probably unoccupied until Mr Ogilby, the author of the “Itinerarum Angliæ, or Book of Roads,” adopted it, as standing in a populous neighbourhood, for the temporary purpose of drawing a lottery of books, which took place in 1668. Books were often the species of property held out as a lure to adventurers, by way of lottery, for the benefit of the suffering Loyalists. In the Gazette of May 18, 1668, is the following advertisement:—

It is said that “the Crown overstepped its authority by issuing these patents, and the law wasn’t activated to challenge them.” This wasn’t the only way royal rights were extended, but loyalty was strongly flowing, and Charles wasn’t likely to ignore its momentum. Book lotteries had been quite popular before this time, and along with the types that came later, they were held at theaters. At the Vere Street theater, which was located in Bear Yard, there were entrances through a passage at the southwest corner of Lincoln’s Inn Fields, another from Vere Street, and a third from Clare Market. Killigrew’s company performed there during the seasons of 1661, 1662, and part of 1663, before moving to the newly-built theater in Drury Lane; the Vere Street theater was likely unoccupied until Mr. Ogilby, the author of the “Itinerarum Angliæ, or Book of Roads,” utilized it, as it was located in a busy area, for the temporary purpose of conducting a book lottery in 1668. Books were often used as bait to entice adventurers through lotteries, benefiting the struggling Loyalists. In the Gazette dated May 18, 1668, the following ad:—

[429]

[429]

MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books opens on Monday the 25th instant, at the old Theatre between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere street, where all Persons concerned may repair on Monday May 18, and see the Volumes, and put in their Money.

MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books starts on Monday, the 25th of this month, at the old Theatre between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere Street, where anyone interested can come on Monday, May 18, to see the books and place their money.

But the business being much better than was anticipated, the drawing had to be postponed, and so in the number of the Gazette for May 25 there is this:—

But the business turned out to be much better than expected, so the drawing had to be postponed. Therefore, in the issue of the Gazette for May 25, there is this:—

MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books (Adventurers coming in so fast that they cannot in so short Time be methodically registered) opens not till Tuesday the 2d of June; then not failing to draw; at the old Theatre between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere street.

MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books (with so many adventurers arriving quickly that there’s no way to keep track of them in such a short time) will not start until Tuesday, June 2nd; then it will definitely take place at the old Theatre between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere Street.

Ogilby had had a venture before this, about which there seems to have been some little difficulty, as in his “Proposal” for this same lottery he refers to aspersions which have been made. A correspondent of the Gentleman’s Magazine of nearly a hundred years ago gives as a curiosity even then a copy of this “Proposal,” which, though rather long, is very interesting, and so we subjoin it:—

Ogilby had tried a similar venture before this, which seemed to have faced some trouble, as in his “Proposal” for this same lottery he mentions some accusations that were made. A writer from the Gentleman’s Magazine almost a hundred years ago shared a copy of this “Proposal” as a curiosity, which, although quite lengthy, is very interesting, so we include it:—

A SECOND PROPOSAL, by the Author, for the better and more speedy Vendition of several Volumes, (his own Works,) by the way of a standing Lottery, licensed by his Royal Highness the Duke of York, and Assistants at the Corporation of the royal Fishing.

A SECOND PROPOSAL, by the Author, for the better and faster selling of several Volumes, (his own Works,) through a permanent Lottery, approved by his Royal Highness the Duke of York, and Assistants at the Corporation of the royal Fishing.

WHEREAS John Ogilby, esq., erected a standing Lottery of Books, and completely furnished the same with very large, fair, and special Volumes, all of his own Designment and Composure, at vast Expense, Labour and Study of twenty Years; the like Impressions never before exhibited in the English Tongue. Which according to the appointed Time, on the 10th of May, 1665, opened; and to the general Satisfaction of the Adventurers, with no less Hopes of a clear Despatch and fair Advantage to the Author, was several Days in Drawing: when its Proceedings were stopt by the then growing Sickness and lay discontinued under the Arrest of that common Calamity, till the next Year’s more violent and sudden Visitation, the late dreadful and surprising Conflagration, swallowed the Remainder, being two Parts of three, to the Value of three thousand Pounds and upward, in that unimaginable Deluge. Therefore, to repair in some Manner his so much commiserated Losses, by the Advice of so many his Patrons, Friends, and especially by the Incitations of his former Adventurers,[430] he resolves, and hath already prepared, not only to reprint all his own former Editions, but others that are new, of equal Value, and like Estimation by their Embellishments, and never yet Published; with some remains of the first Impressions, Relics preserved in several Hands from the Fire; to set up a second standing Lottery, where such the Discrimination of Fortune shall be, that few or None shall return with a dissatisfying Chance. The whole Draught being of greater Advantage by much (to the Adventurers) than the former. And accordingly, after Publication, the Author opened his Office, where they might put in their first Encouragements (viz.) twenty Shillings, and twenty more at the reception of their Fortune, and also see those several magnificent Volumes, which their varied Fortune (none being bad) should present them.

WHEREAS John Ogilby, Esq., set up a permanent Lottery of Books, fully stocked with impressive, high-quality, and unique volumes that he designed and created at a huge cost, effort, and dedication over twenty years; these were the like of which had never been seen in English before. The Lottery launched on May 10, 1665, much to the satisfaction of the participants, with great hopes for a successful outcome and good returns for the author. However, its operations were interrupted by the emergence of a widespread illness, leading to a pause until the next year when a sudden and devastating fire destroyed the remaining two-thirds of the collection, worth over three thousand pounds, in that unimaginable disaster. To help mitigate his significant losses, based on advice from numerous patrons and friends, and especially encouraged by his previous participants, he decided and has already planned to not only reprint all his earlier editions but also to offer new works of equal quality and significance that had never been published before, along with some remnants of the original prints saved from the fire, to establish a second permanent Lottery. In this new setup, the chances would be such that few, if any, would leave with an unsatisfactory outcome. The whole scheme promised much greater benefits for the participants than before. Once published, the author opened his office, inviting them to make their initial contributions (i.e.,) twenty shillings, and another twenty upon receiving their fortunes, as they viewed the various magnificent volumes that their fortunes (none being unfavorable) would present to them.

[43] But the Author now finding more difficulty than he expected, since many of his Promisers (who also received great Store of Tickets to dispose of, towards promotion of his Business) though seeming well resolved and very willing, yet straining Courtesy not to go foremost in paying their monies, linger out, driving it off till near the time appointed for Drawing; which Dilatoriness: (since Despatch is the soul and life to his Proposal, his only Advantage a speedy Vendition:) and also observing how that a Money Dearth, a Silver Famine, slackens and cools the Courage of Adventurers: through which hazy humours magnifying medium Shillings loome like Crowns, and each forty Shillings a ten Pound Heap. Therefore, according to the present Humour now reigning, he intends to adequate his Design; and this seeming too large-roomed, standing Lottery, modelled into many less and more likely to be taken Tenements, which shall not open only a larger Prospect of pleasing Hopes, but more real Advantage to the Adventurer. Which are now to be disposed of thus: the whole Mass of Books or Volumes, being the same without Addition or Diminution, amounting according to their known Value (being the Prices they have been usually disposed at) to thirteen thousand seven hundred Pounds; so that the Adventurers will have the above said Volumes (if all are drawn) for less[431] than two-thirds of what they would yield in Process of Time, Book by Book. He now resolves to attempter, or mingle each Prize with four allaying Blanks; so bringing down, by this Means, the Market from double Pounds to single Crowns.

[43] But the Author is now finding it more challenging than he expected, since many of his Promisers (who also got a lot of Tickets to sell for promoting his Business) seem eager and willing, yet strain to be polite by not stepping up to pay their money. They delay, pushing it off until just before the Drawing is set to happen; this procrastination (since promptness is essential to his Proposal and his only advantage is a quick sale) is problematic. He also notices that a Money Shortage and a Silver Drought weaken the confidence of the Adventurers: in this confusing environment, Shillings appear as valuable as Crowns, and every forty Shillings feels like a ten-Pound pile. Therefore, in line with the current mood, he plans to adjust his Design; this previously large-scale Lottery will be restructured into many smaller, more attractive options that will not only present a broader horizon of hopeful possibilities but also provide more tangible benefits to the Adventurer. These will now be offered as follows: the entire collection of Books or Volumes, remaining unchanged in quantity, is valued at approximately thirteen thousand seven hundred Pounds (the same prices they’ve typically sold for). Hence, the Adventurers will end up with the aforementioned Volumes (if all are selected) for less than two-thirds of what they would sell for over time, Book by Book. He now intends to mix each Prize with four disappointing Blanks, effectively lowering the Market from double Pounds to single Crowns.

THE PROPOSITIONS.—First, whosoever will be pleased to put in five Shillings shall draw a Lot, his Fortune to receive the greatest or meanest Prize, or throw away his intended spending Money on a Blank. Secondly, whoever will adventure deeper, putting in twenty-five Shillings, shall receive, if such his bad Fortune be that he draws all Blanks, a Prize presented to him by the Author of more value than his Money (if offered to be sold) though proffered ware, &c. Thirdly, who thinks fit to put in for eight Lots forty Shillings shall receive nine, and the advantage of their free Choice (of all Blanks) of either of the Works complete, viz. Homer’s Iliads and Odysses, or Æsop the first and second Volumes, the China Book, or Virgil. Of which,

THE PROPOSITIONS.—First, anyone who is willing to contribute five Shillings can draw a Lot, with the chance to win a great or small Prize, or lose their spending Money on a Blank. Secondly, anyone who wants to invest more, putting in twenty-five Shillings, will receive a Prize from the Author worth more than their Money (if it were sold), even if they only draw Blanks. Thirdly, those who decide to put in forty Shillings for eight Lots will get nine, along with the option to freely choose (from all Blanks) either of the complete Works, namely: Homer’s Iliads and Odysses, or Æsop's first and second Volumes, the China Book, or Virgil. Of which,

The First and greatest Prize contains
1 Lot, Number 1.
An imperial Bible with Chorographical and an hundred historical Sculps, valued at 25l.
Virgil translated, with Sculps and Annotations, val. 5l.
Homer’s Iliads, adorned with Sculps, val. 5l.
Homer’s Odysses, adorned with Sculps, val. 4l.
Æsop’s Fables paraphrased and Sculped, in Folio, val. 3l.
A second Collection of Æsopick Fables, adorned with Sculps, never
[Rest imperfect.]
His Majestie’s Entertainment passing through the city of London, and Coronation. These are one of each, of all the Books contained in the Lottery, the whole value 51l.
The Second Prize contains
1 Lot, Num. 2.
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val. 25l.
Homer complete, in English, val. 9l.
Virgil, val. 5l.
Æsop complete, val. 6l.
The Description of China, val. 4l.
In all 49 Pound.
The Third Prize contains
1 Lot, Num. 3.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps 10l.
Homer’s Works in English, val. 9l.
Virgil translated, with Sculps and Annotations, val. 5l.
The first and second Vol. of Æsop, val. 6l.
The Description of China, val. 4l.
Entertainment, val. 2l.
In all 36 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 4.[432]
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val. 25l.
Æsop’s Fables the first and second Vol. val. 6l.
In all 31 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 5.
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val. 25l.
Virgil translated, with Sculps, val. 5l.
In all 30 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 6.
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val. 25l.
And a Description of China, val. 4l.
In all 29 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 7.
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps and a new Æsop, val. 28l.
1 Lot, Num. 8.
One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val. 25l.
1 Lot, Num. 9.
A royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
A Description of China, val. 4l.
And a Homer complete, val. 9l.
In all 23 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 10.
A royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
A Virgil complete, val. 5l.
Æsop’s Fables the first and second Vols. val. 6l.
In all 21 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 11.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
And a Homer’s Works complete, val. 9l.
In all 19 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 12.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
And both the Æsops, val. 6l.
In all 16 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 13.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
A Virgil complete in English, val. 5l.
In all 15 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 14.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
A Description of China, val. 4l.
In all 14 Pound.
[No. 15 imperfect.]
1 Lot, Num. 16.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps. 10l.
The second Volume of Æsop, val. 3l.
In all 13 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 17.[433]
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
And an Entertainment, val. 2l.
In all 12 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 18.
One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val. 10l.
1 Lot, Num. 19.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
One Virgil complete, val. 5l.
In all 10 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 20.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
And a Homer’s Iliads, val. 5l.
In all 10 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 21.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
And a Homer’s Odysses, val. 4l.
In all 9 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 22.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
And a Description of China, val. 4l.
In all 9 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 23.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps. 5l.
And Æsop complete, val. 6l.
In all 11 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 24.
A royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
And Æsop the first Volume, val. 3l.
In all 8 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 25.
A royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
And Æsop the second Volume, val. 3l.
In all 8 Pound.
1 Lot, Num. 26.
A royal Bible, ruled, with Chorographical Sculps, val. 6l.
1 Lot, Num. 27.
A royal Bible, with Chorographical Sculps, ruled, val. 6l.
1 Lot, Num. 28.
One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val. 5l.
10 Lot, Num. 29.
Each a Homer complete, val. 9l.
10 Lot, Num. 30.
Each a double Æsop complete, val. 6l.
520 Lot, Num. 31.[434]
Each a Homer’s Iliads, val. 5l.
520 Lot, Num. 32.
Each a Homer’s Odysses, val. 4l.
570 Lot, Num. 33.
Each a Virgil complete, val. 5l.
570 Lot, Num. 34.
Each a China Book, val. 4l.
570 Lot, Num. 35.
Each the first Volume of Æsop, val. 3l.
570 Lot, Num. 36.
Each the second Volume of Æsop, val. 3l.

The whole Number of the Lots three thousand, three hundred, and sixty-eight. The Number of the Blanks as above ordered; so that the Total received is but four thousand, one hundred, and ten Pounds.

The total number of lots is three thousand, three hundred, and sixty-eight. The number of blanks, as previously stated; so the total received is only four thousand, one hundred, and ten pounds.

The Office where their Monies are to be paid in, and they receive their Tickets, and where the several Volumes or Prizes may be daily seen, (by which visual Speculation understanding their real Worth better than by the Ear or printed Paper,) is kept at the Black Boy, over against St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street. The Adventurers may also repair for their better Convenience, to pay in their Monies, to Mr. Peter Cleyton, over against the Dutch Church, in Austin Friars, and to Mr. Baker, near Broad Street, entering the South door of the Exchange, and to Mr. Roycroft, in Bartholomew Close.

The office where they pay in their money and receive their tickets, and where the various volumes or prizes can be seen daily (which they can evaluate better by looking than by listening or reading printed material), is located at the Black Boy, across from St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street. For added convenience, the adventurers can also pay their money to Mr. Peter Cleyton, across from the Dutch Church in Austin Friars, to Mr. Baker, near Broad Street, entering through the south door of the Exchange, and to Mr. Roycroft in Bartholomew Close.

The certain Day of Drawing, the Author promiseth (though but half full) to be the twenty-third of May next. Therefore all Persons that are willing to Adventure, are desired to bring or send in their Monies with their Names, or what other Inscription or Motto they will, by which to know their own, by the ninth of May next, it being Whitson Eve, that the Author may have Time to put up the Lots and Inscriptions into their respective Boxes.

The specific Day of Drawing is promised by the Author to be on the twenty-third of May. Therefore, anyone who wants to participate is requested to bring or send their money along with their names or any other inscription or motto they prefer, by the ninth of May, which is Whit Sunday Eve, so the Author has time to prepare the lots and inscriptions for their respective boxes.

Notwithstanding the positive promise given as to the date of the drawing, there seems, judging by the advertisements first quoted, to have been two alterations in the time. Mr Ogilby assorted his wares in the most tempting manner, and it is interesting to know what were considered the most marketable books, with their relative values, over two hundred years ago. Even then, and long before either became[435] familiar to the bulk of English readers, the Iliad was worth a pound more than the Odyssey. Æsop was rated, entire, at more than the best of the Homeric books, but divided, he was inferior to either, and Virgil complete was worth exactly the same amount as the Iliad. A contributor to the Gentleman’s Magazine, about a hundred years back, states that he had seen a then very old but undated “Address to the Learned, or an advantageous lottery for books in quires; wherein each adventurer of a guinea is sure of a prize of two pounds value; and it is but four to one that he has a prize of three, six, eight, twelve, or fifty pounds.” The proposals for this lottery were, one thousand four hundred lots, at a guinea each, to be drawn with the lots out of two glasses, superintended by John Lilly and Edward Darrel, Esqs., Mr Deputy Collins, and Mr William Proctor, stationer; two lots of £50, ten of £12, twenty of £8, sixty-eight of £6, two hundred of £5, and one thousand two hundred of £3. Letters-patent on behalf of the promoters of Lotteries were from time to time renewed, and from the Gazette of October 11, 1675, it appears by those dated June 19 and December 17, 1674, there were granted for thirteen years to come, “all lotteries whatsoever invented or to be invented, to several truly loyal and indigent officers, in consideration of their many faithful services and sufferings, with prohibition to all others to use or set up the said lotteries.” These officers were also granted powers to give licences and name agents.

Despite the positive promises made about when the drawing would take place, it seems, judging by the earlier advertisements, that there were two changes in the timing. Mr. Ogilby displayed his goods in the most appealing way, and it’s fascinating to see what were considered the most desirable books and their values over two hundred years ago. Even then, and long before either became[435] well-known to most English readers, the Iliad was valued at a pound more than the Odyssey. Aesop's complete works were worth more than the best of the Homeric texts, but when divided, they were less valuable than either, and Virgil's complete works were valued the same as the Iliad. A contributor to the Gentleman’s Magazine, about a hundred years ago, mentioned that he had seen a very old, undated “Address to the Learned, or an advantageous lottery for books in quires; where every person who pays a guinea is guaranteed a prize worth two pounds; and there’s just a four to one chance that he could win a prize of three, six, eight, twelve, or fifty pounds.” The lottery proposals included one thousand four hundred lots, each costing a guinea, to be drawn from two glasses, overseen by John Lilly and Edward Darrel, Esqs., Mr. Deputy Collins, and Mr. William Proctor, stationer; with two lots of £50, ten of £12, twenty of £8, sixty-eight of £6, two hundred of £5, and one thousand two hundred of £3. Patents for the promoters of Lotteries were renewed from time to time, and according to the Gazette from October 11, 1675, those dated June 19 and December 17, 1674, were granted for a period of thirteen years for “all lotteries whatsoever invented or to be invented, to several truly loyal and underprivileged officers, in recognition of their many faithful services and hardships, with a prohibition against all others using or establishing these lotteries.” These officers were also given the authority to issue licenses and appoint agents.

In the Examiner, about the time when Lotteries were suppressed, there is much information concerning them, and the writer among other things finds, from a copy of the London Gazette of May 17, 1688, that “Ogilby, the better to carry on his ‘Britannia,’ had a lottery of books at Garraway’s Coffeehouse in ’Change Alley.” Lotteries of various kinds seem to have been very general before this date; indeed so much so that Government issued a notice in the London Gazette, September 27, 1683, to prevent the[436] drawing of any lotteries (and especially a newly-invented lottery under the name of the riffling, or raffling, lottery) “except those under his Majesty’s letters-patent, for thirteen years, granted to persons for their sufferings, and have their seal of office with this inscription, ‘Meliora Designavi.’” In 1683, Prince Rupert dying rather poor, a plan was devised to obtain money by disposing of all his jewels; but as the public were not satisfied with the mode of drawing the lotteries, on account of the many cheats practised on them, they would not listen to any proposals until the King himself guaranteed to see that all was fair, and also that Mr Francis Child, the goldsmith at Temple Bar, would be answerable for their several adventures, as appears by the London Gazette, October 1, 1683:—

In the Examiner, around the time when lotteries were banned, there's a lot of information about them. The author, among other things, finds in a copy of the London Gazette dated May 17, 1688, that “Ogilby, to promote his ‘Britannia,’ held a lottery of books at Garraway’s Coffeehouse in ’Change Alley.” Lotteries of various types seemed to be quite common before this time; in fact, they were so prevalent that the government issued a notice in the London Gazette on September 27, 1683, to stop the drawing of any lotteries (especially a newly invented lottery called the riffling, or raffling, lottery), “except those under his Majesty’s letters-patent, for thirteen years, granted to individuals for their sufferings, and have their seal of office with the inscription, ‘Meliora Designavi.’” In 1683, after Prince Rupert died somewhat poor, a plan was created to raise money by selling all his jewels; however, since the public was unhappy with how the lotteries were drawn due to numerous scams, they wouldn't consider any proposals until the King himself guaranteed that everything would be fair, and that Mr. Francis Child, the goldsmith at Temple Bar, would be responsible for their various ventures, as shown in the London Gazette on October 1, 1683:—

THESE are to give notice, that the Jewels of his late Royal Highness Prince Rupert have been particularly valued and appraised by Mr. Isaac Legouch, Mr Christopher Rosse, and Mr. Richard Beauvoir, Jewellers, the whole amounting to Twenty Thousand Pounds, and will be sold by way of Lottery, each Lot to be Five Pounds. The biggest Prize will be a great Pearl Necklace, valued at 8,000l., and none less than 100l. A printed Particular of the said Appraisement, with their Divisions into Lots, will be delivered gratis by Mr. Francis Child, at Temple Bar, London, into whose Hands, such as are willing to be Adventurers are desired to pay their Money, on or before the 1st Day of November next. As soon as the whole Sum is paid in, a short Day will be appointed which, (it is hoped, will be before Christmas) and notified in the Gazette, for the Drawing thereof, which will be done in his Majesty’s Presence, who is pleased to declare, that he himself will see all the Prizes put in among the Blanks, and that the whole will be managed with Equity and Fairness, Nothing being intended but the sale of the said Jewels at a moderate Value. And it is further notified, for the Satisfaction of all as shall be Adventurers, that the said Mr. Child shall and will stand obliged to Each of them for their several Adventures. And that each Adventurer shall receive their Money back if the said Lottery be not drawn and finished before the first Day of February next.

THESE are to inform you that the jewels of the late Royal Highness Prince Rupert have been valued and appraised by Mr. Isaac Legouch, Mr. Christopher Rosse, and Mr. Richard Beauvoir, jewelers, totaling Twenty Thousand Pounds. They will be sold through a lottery, with each ticket priced at Five Pounds. The grand prize will be a beautiful pearl necklace, valued at £8,000, with no prize less than £100. A printed description of the appraisal, detailing the lots, will be available for free from Mr. Francis Child at Temple Bar, London. Those interested in participating are asked to pay their money to him on or before November 1st. Once the total amount is collected, a date will be set for the drawing, which is hoped to occur before Christmas, and will be announced in the Gazette. The drawing will take place in the presence of His Majesty, who has stated that he will personally ensure all prizes are mixed with the blanks, and that the entire process will be conducted fairly, with the only aim being the sale of the jewels at a reasonable value. It is also announced for the reassurance of all participants that Mr. Child will be accountable to each of them for their investments. Furthermore, each participant will have their money refunded if the lottery is not drawn and completed by February 1st.

This Mr Child is said to have been the first regular banker. He began business soon after the Restoration,[437] and received the honour of knighthood. He lived in Fleet Street, where the shop still continues in a state of the highest respectability.[44] A subsequent notice says that

This Mr. Child is said to be the first official banker. He started his business shortly after the Restoration,[437] and was honored with a knighthood. He lived on Fleet Street, where the shop still operates in a state of the highest respectability.[44] A later notice states that

The King will probably, to-morrow, in the Banquetting House, see all the Blanks told over, that they may not exceed their Number; and that the Papers on which the Prizes are to be written shall be rolled up in his Presence; and that a Child, appointed, either by his Majesty or the Adventurers, shall draw the Prizes.

The King will likely, tomorrow, in the Banquet Hall, review all the Blanks to ensure they don't exceed their count; and the Papers on which the Prizes will be written will be rolled up in his presence; and a Child, chosen either by his Majesty or the Adventurers, will draw the Prizes.

The most popular of all the schemes of the time was that drawn at the Dorset Garden Theatre, near Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, with the capital prize of a thousand pounds for a penny. The drawing began on October 19, 1698; and in the Protestant Mercury of the following day its fairness was said to give universal content to all that were concerned. In the next number is found an inconsistent story as to the possessor of the prize. It runs thus: “Sometime since, a boy near Branford going to school one morning, met an old woman, who asked his charity; the boy replied, he had nothing to give her but a piece of bread and butter, which she accepted. Sometime after, she met the boy again, and told him she had good luck after his bread and butter, and therefore would give him a penny which, after some years keeping, would produce many pounds: he accordingly kept it a great while, and at last, with some friends’ advice, put it into the Penny Lottery, and we are informed that on Tuesday last, the said lot came up with £1000 prize.” This is a very fair specimen of the stories which were always afloat concerning the chief prizes in the principal lotteries, and which had always some superstitious current underlying them, much to the benefit of the vendors of tickets. The scheme of the Penny Lottery was assailed in a tract entitled “The Wheel of Fortune, or Nothing for a Penny; being Remarks on the Drawing of the Penny Lottery at the Theatre Royal, in[438] Dorset Garden.” (1698, 4to.) Afterwards this theatre was used for exhibitions of sword-and-cudgel players, prize-fighters, &c.; but the building was totally deserted in 1703. In the last years of the century, schemes were started called “The Lucky Adventure; or, Fortunate Chance, being 2000l. for a groat, or 3000l. for a shilling;” and “Fortunatus, or another Adventure of 1000l. for a Penny;” but purchasers were more wary, and the promoters’ plans in both cases fell to the ground. The royal patentees also advertised against the “Marble Board, alias Woollich Board lotteries; the Figure Board, alias the Whimsey Board and the Wyre Board lotteries.” The patentees were, in addition, always quarrelling among themselves; and the following lines from the Post-Boy, January 3, 1698, were very popular at the time, as giving an estimate of the disputes between the legalised rogues:—

The most popular of all the schemes at the time was the one held at the Dorset Garden Theatre, near Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, with a grand prize of a thousand pounds for just a penny. The draw started on October 19, 1698; and in the Protestant Mercury the next day, it was reported that the fairness of the draw satisfied everyone involved. In the following issue, there was an inconsistent story about who won the prize. It goes like this: “A while ago, a boy near Branford was walking to school one morning when he met an old woman who asked for charity; the boy said he had nothing to give her but a piece of bread and butter, which she accepted. Later, she met the boy again and told him she had good luck after eating his bread and butter, so she would give him a penny that, after keeping it for some years, would bring him many pounds: he kept it for a long time and finally, with some friends’ advice, put it into the Penny Lottery, and we hear that last Tuesday, that ticket won the £1000 prize.” This is a typical example of the stories that circulated about the main prizes in the leading lotteries, usually underpinned by some superstitious belief, benefiting the ticket sellers. The Penny Lottery plan was criticized in a pamphlet titled “The Wheel of Fortune, or Nothing for a Penny; being Remarks on the Drawing of the Penny Lottery at the Theatre Royal, in [438] Dorset Garden.” (1698, 4to.) Later, this theatre hosted performances of sword-and-cudgel fighters, prizefighters, etc.; but the building was completely abandoned in 1703. In the late years of the century, new schemes emerged called “The Lucky Adventure; or, Fortunate Chance, being 2000l. for a groat, or 3000l. for a shilling;” and “Fortunatus, or another Adventure of 1000l. for a Penny;” but buyers were more cautious, and the promoters’ plans in both cases failed. The royal patentees also advertised against the “Marble Board, also known as Woollich Board lotteries; the Figure Board, also known as the Whimsey Board; and the Wyre Board lotteries.” The patentees frequently argued among themselves; and the following lines from the Post-Boy, January 3, 1698, were very popular at that time, as they reflected the disputes among the legalized rogues:—

A Dialogue betwixt the New Lotteries and the Royal Oak.

A Conversation between the New Lotteries and the Royal Oak.

New Lott. To you, the Mother of our Schools,
Where scoundrels have the freedom to control fools,
Finding the right time and place,
To take advantage of the country's resources;
We learn how we should treat them,
And they can deceive them as much as they want.
Oak. It delights my old heart to see Such a large offspring; I see from you that it’s Heaven’s will. That trickery should thrive still;
You have grace and cleverness,
And there have always been plenty of fools. Watch the clever Auctioneer
He skillfully sells waste paper at a high price; When he uses baits for Salmon on his Hooks,
That Cormorant of Offal books, Whoever bites, just like Maggots multiply,
Or Carrion Crows feed on horse flesh;
Misleading titles deceive him,
To clean up after Sl—— and T——n. If you want to catch greedy seagulls,
Make proposals wonderfully fair;[439] Tell him that unusual Golden Show'rs will come down,
And promise them all mountains.
New Lott. That skill we've already taught,
And because of that trick, millions have been fooled;
Books, trinkets, toys, all kinds of stuff,
I've gone that way just fine. No, Music also infiltrates our Art,
And to some tune, she would play her part.
I'll show you what we're working on now,
For we have various wheels in motion. We have now discovered more prosperous lands,
Than the hills of Asia, or the sands of Africa, And must give birth to vast treasures,
Deep hidden in the depths of the Earth; In fertile Wales, and who knows where else,
Rich mines of gold and silver are,
From where we get a huge supply
Of silver coins, although none in ore,
Which wealthy fools force down our throats,
Hoping to make us vomit more.
Oak. This project has to be good. Because not easily understood; Additionally, it provides a significant scope
To the Fool's Argument—false Hope.
No Eagle's Eye can see the Cheat,
Through hope supported by mystery.
New Lott. We also have a thousand more, For everyone, whether wealthy or struggling, From someone who can spare thousands, Exact Change Customer.
Oak. The foolish crowd will panic and run,
To be easily ruined. A flashy show attracts the crowd,
Thousands of them were all laid out by Pence.
New Lott. We, based on our experience, find it to be true,
But we have completely new Methods,
Weird new ways to thrive,
To make men accountable for what they offer,
To take control of the Rents
Of their inherited lands,
And what comes from that, To get them to buy annuities.[440] We’ve math Combination,
To deceive people through clear demonstration,
It should also be managed fairly, too,
The Undertaker doesn't know how. Besides—
Oak. Please wait a moment, there’s plenty here,
To strip Europe of this stuff. Go ahead, succeed, and be amazing,
I am just a small cheat to you.

The Royal Oak Lottery came in for a great share of public odium, it being regarded as the parent of all the others. A very curious tract of 1699 sets forth the various charges against it in the form of a trial. The pamphlet is called “The Arraignment, Trial and Condemnation of Squire Lottery, alias Royal-Oak Lottery.” The various charges, defences, and counter-charges are very funny, and we regret that we have only room here for the jury list, which shows that the “British palladium” possessed then many of its present features, judged by the characters and pretensions of the jurymen. The descriptions of these latter would fit pretty well even in these days:—

The Royal Oak Lottery faced a lot of public backlash, seen as the origin of all the others. A very interesting pamphlet from 1699 outlines the various accusations against it in the format of a trial. The pamphlet is titled “The Arraignment, Trial and Condemnation of Squire Lottery, also known as Royal-Oak Lottery.” The different charges, defenses, and countercharges are quite amusing, and we wish we had space to include more than just the jury list, which shows that the “British palladium” had many of its current characteristics, judging by the profiles and claims of the jurors. The descriptions of these individuals would still fit pretty well today:—

The Jurors’ Names.

The names of the jurors.

  • Mr. Positive, a Draper in Covent Garden.
  • Mr. Squander, an Oilman in Fleet Street.
  • Mr. Pert, a Tobacconist, ditto.
  • Mr. Captious, a Milliner in Paternoster Row.
  • Mr. Feeble, a Coffeeman near the Change.
  • Mr. Altrick, a Merchant in Gracechurch Street.
  • Mr. Haughty, a Vintner by Grays-Inn, Holborn.
  • Mr. Jealous, a Cutler at Charing Cross.
  • Mr. Peevish, a Bookseller in St. Paul’s Churchyard.
  • Mr. Spilbook, near Fleet Bridge.
  • Mr. Noysie, a Silkman upon Ludgate Hill.
  • Mr. Finical, a Barber in Cheapside.

It is noticeable that during the whole of the trial no individual interferes with either the Court or the witnesses, there being no mention in the report of “a Juror;” and as might have been anticipated, the trial ends with the wholesale[441] condemnation of Squire Lottery, and an order for his immediate execution. Private and fallacious lotteries had by this time become so common, not only in London, but in most other great cities and towns of England, whereby the lower people and the servants and children of good families were defrauded, that an Act of Parliament was therefore passed, 10 and 11 William III. c. 17, for suppressing such lotteries, “even although they might be set up under colour of patents or grants under the Great Seal. Which said grants, or patents,” says the preamble, “are against the common good, welfare, and peace of the kingdom, and are void and against law.” A penalty, therefore, of five hundred pounds was laid on the proprietors of any such lotteries, and of twenty pounds on every adventurer in them. Notwithstanding this, the like disposition to fraud and gaming prevailed again till fresh laws were enacted for their suppression. The public, or, as they were called, the Parliamentary, lotteries, went on, however, as merrily as before, though they were every now and again threatened—indeed for nearly a hundred and thirty years lotteries were always on the point of being abolished. The promoters of lotteries, even in the early days, thoroughly knew the value of advertising by means of puffs, and many of their paragraphs are found given as ordinary news, for the more effectual trapping of the gulls. Such a one is this from the Post-Boy of December 27, 1710:—

During the entire trial, no one interferes with either the Court or the witnesses, and there is no mention of “a Juror” in the report. As expected, the trial concludes with the mass condemnation of Squire Lottery and an order for his immediate execution. By this time, private and fraudulent lotteries had become so widespread, not just in London but in many other major cities and towns across England, that the lower classes, as well as the servants and children of good families, were being cheated. Consequently, an Act of Parliament was passed, 10 and 11 William III. c. 17, to eliminate such lotteries, “even if they were established under the pretense of patents or grants under the Great Seal. These grants or patents,” the preamble states, “are against the common good, welfare, and peace of the kingdom, and are void and illegal.” Thus, a penalty of five hundred pounds was imposed on the owners of any such lotteries, with a twenty-pound fine for each participant. Despite this, the inclination toward fraud and gambling resurfaced until new laws were created to suppress them again. However, public lotteries, or those termed Parliamentary lotteries, continued cheerfully as before, even though they were frequently threatened—indeed, for nearly one hundred thirty years, lotteries were always on the verge of being abolished. The promoters of lotteries, even in the early days, clearly understood the importance of advertising through puff pieces, and many of their announcements appeared as regular news to effectively lure in the unsuspecting. One such example comes from the Post-Boy dated December 27, 1710:—

We are informed that the Parliamentary Lottery will be fixed in this Manner:—150,000 Tickets will be delivered out at 10l. each Ticket, making in all the Sum of 1,500,000l. Sterling; the Principal thereof is to be sunk, the Parliament allowing nine per cent. Interest for the whole during the Term of thirty-two Years, which Interest is to be divided as follows: 3750 Tickets will be Prizes from 1000l. to 5l. per annum, during the said thirty-two Years; all the other Tickets will be Blanks, so that there will be thirty-nine of these to one Prize, but then each Blank Ticket will be entitled to fourteen Shillings a year for the Term of thirty-two Years, which is better than an Annuity for life at ten per cent. over and above chance of getting a prize.

We are informed that the Parliamentary Lottery will be set up like this: 150,000 tickets will be sold for £10 each, totaling £1,500,000. The principal amount will be invested, with Parliament providing a 9% interest rate for the entire duration of thirty-two years. This interest will be distributed as follows: 3,750 tickets will be prizes ranging from £1,000 to £5 per year for the thirty-two years; all other tickets will be blanks, resulting in thirty-nine blanks for every prize. However, each blank ticket will entitle the holder to £0.70 per year for thirty-two years, which is better than a lifetime annuity at 10%, plus the chance of winning a prize.

[442]

[442]

Such was the eagerness of the public to secure shares in this great and liberal undertaking on the part of a beneficent Legislature, that Mercers’ Hall was literally crowded, and the clerks were found incompetent to receive the influx of names. Six hundred thousand pounds was subscribed by January 21; and on the 28th of February the required amount of a million and a half had been taken out in shares. This rage for speculation had much to do with the success of the South-Sea Bubble, which was attended by myriad smaller bubbles that in the grand collapse of the most magnificent swindle of modern times have been quite forgotten. But many large fortunes were made by small means. In the height of the speculative fever, hardly a day, certainly not a week, passed without fresh projects, recommended by pompous paragraphs in the newspapers, directing where to subscribe to them. On some six per cent. was paid down, on others one shilling per thousand at the time of subscribing. Some of the obscure keepers of these books of subscription, contenting themselves with what they had netted in the morning, by the registration of one or two millions, disappeared in the afternoon, the rooms they had hired being shut up, and they and their subscription-books being never heard of more. On others of these projects, two shillings, and two-and-sixpence, were paid down; for some few even half a sovereign per cent. was deposited, but this was only in the case of those who could find some person of standing to recommend them in Exchange Alley. Some were divided into shares instead of hundreds and thousands, upon each of which so much was paid down. Any impudent impostor, while the delusion was at its greatest height, needed only to hire a room near the alley for a few hours, and open a subscription-book for a pretended scheme relating to commerce, manufacture, plantation, or some supposed invention, having first advertised it in the newspapers of the preceding day, and he might in a few hours find subscribers for one or two millions of imaginary[443] stock. Yet many of the subscribers were far from believing the project feasible; it was enough for their purpose that there would soon be a premium on the receipts for the subscriptions, when they could easily get rid of them in the crowded alley to others more credulous than themselves. Indeed some of these bubbles were so barefaced and palpably gross as not to have the shadow of anything like feasibility: such, for instance, were an insurance against divorces; a scheme to learn men to cast nativities; another for making butter from beech-trees; a project for a flying machine; a company for fattening hogs; and a proposal for a more inoffensive method of emptying or cleansing necessary-houses.

The public was so excited to get shares in this incredible and generous venture by a kind Legislature that Mercers’ Hall was completely packed, and the clerks couldn’t keep up with the flood of names. By January 21, six hundred thousand pounds had been subscribed; by February 28, the required amount of one and a half million had been taken out in shares. This frenzy for speculation played a big role in the success of the South-Sea Bubble, which was accompanied by countless smaller bubbles that have been largely forgotten in the aftermath of the biggest scam in modern history. Yet, many people made large fortunes from small investments. At the peak of this speculative craze, hardly a day—definitely not a week—went by without new projects being promoted with flashy announcements in the newspapers, telling people where to subscribe. For some projects, six percent was paid upfront, while for others it was just one shilling per thousand at the time of subscribing. Some of the unknown keepers of these subscription books, satisfied with what they made in the morning after registering one or two million, disappeared by afternoon, and the rooms they rented were locked up, with them and their subscription lists never seen again. For other projects, two shillings, and two-and-sixpence were paid upfront; for a few, even half a sovereign per cent. was deposited, but that was only for those who could find someone reputable to endorse them in Exchange Alley. Some projects were divided into shares instead of hundreds and thousands, with payments made for each share. Any audacious fraudster, while the delusion was at its peak, only needed to rent a room near the alley for a few hours, open a subscription book for a fake scheme related to trade, manufacturing, agriculture, or some invented concept—after advertising it in the newspapers the day before—and he could find subscribers for one or two million of imaginary stock in a matter of hours. Yet many of the subscribers didn’t actually believe the project was feasible; it was enough for them to know that soon there would be a premium on the subscription receipts, which they could easily sell to others in the crowded alley who were more naive than they were. Indeed, some of these schemes were so blatant and obviously ridiculous that they had no hint of feasibility whatsoever: for example, there were plans for an insurance against divorces, a scheme to teach men how to cast nativities, another to make butter from beech trees, a project for a flying machine, a company for fattening pigs, and a proposal for a more harmless way to empty or clean outhouses.

Addison, of course, availed himself of the opportunity afforded by the great lottery mania, and in the Spectator for Tuesday, October 9, 1711, he comments on the peculiarities of investors. “When a man has a mind to venture his money in a lottery,” says he, “every figure of it appears equally alluring, and as likely to succeed as any of its fellows. They all of them have the same pretensions to good luck, stand upon the same foot of competition, and no manner of reason can be given why a man should prefer one to the other before the lottery is drawn. In this case, therefore, caprice very often acts in the place of reason, and forms to itself some groundless imaginary motive, where real and substantial ones are wanting. I know a well-meaning man that is very well pleased to risk his good fortune upon the number 1711, because it is the year of our Lord. I am acquainted with a tacker that would give a good deal for the number 134. On the contrary, I have been told of a certain zealous dissenter, who being a great enemy to Popery, and believing that bad men are the most fortunate in this world, will lay two to one on the number 666 against any other number, because, says he, it is the number of the Beast. Several would prefer the number 12,000 before any other, as it is the number of the pounds in the great prize.[444] In short, some are pleased to find their own age in their number; some that have got a number which makes a pretty appearance in the ciphers; and others because it is the same number that succeeded in the last lottery. Each of these, upon no other grounds, thinks he stands fairest for the great lot, and that he is possessed of what may not be improbably called—‘the golden number.’”

Addison, of course, took advantage of the excitement over the lottery, and in the Spectator on Tuesday, October 9, 1711, he comments on the quirks of investors. “When someone decides to risk their money in a lottery,” he says, “every single number seems equally tempting and just as likely to win as any other. They all have the same chance at good luck, are in the same competition, and there's no real reason why someone should prefer one over the other before the lottery is drawn. In this case, whim often replaces reason and creates some baseless imaginary reason where real, solid ones are lacking. I know a well-meaning guy who is quite happy to bet on the number 1711 because it’s the year. I know someone who would pay a lot for the number 134. On the flip side, I’ve heard of a passionate dissenter who, being a strong opponent of Popery and believing that bad people are the luckiest in this world, will bet two to one on the number 666 against any other number because, as he says, it’s the number of the Beast. Several people would prefer the number 12,000 over any other since it's the amount in pounds for the grand prize.[444] In short, some are happy to see their own age reflected in their number; some like a number that looks nice in the digits; and others because it’s the same number that won in the last lottery. Each of them, for no other reason, thinks they have the best shot at the big win and that they hold what might be called—‘the golden number.’”

The reference to the number 134 is made on account of a bill which was brought into the House of Commons against occasional Conformity; and so that it should pass through the Lords, it was proposed to tack it to a money bill. This proposal caused some warm debates, and at last, on being put to the vote, it was found that 134 were for tacking. A large majority was, however, against it, and the motion fell through. The Beast’s number is, of course, a reference to Revelation xiii. 18; and the final allusion in the paragraph we will not insult the reader by attempting to explain. Addison then goes on: “These principles of election are the pastimes and extravagances of human reason, which is of so busy a nature, that it will be exerting itself in the meanest trifles, and working even where it wants materials. The wisest of men are sometimes acted by such unaccountable motives, as the life of the fool and the superstitious is guided by nothing else. I am surprised that none of the fortune-tellers, or, as the French call them, the Diseurs de bonne Aventure, who publish their bills in every quarter of the town, have turned our lotteries to their advantage. Did any of them set up for a caster of fortunate figures, what might he not get by his pretended discoveries and predictions? I remember, among the advertisements in the Post-Boy of September the 27th, I was surprised to see the following one:—

The mention of the number 134 refers to a bill that was introduced in the House of Commons against occasional Conformity; to ensure it passed through the Lords, it was suggested to attach it to a money bill. This proposal sparked some heated debates, and when it came to a vote, 134 were in favor of tacking it on. However, a large majority opposed it, and the motion did not go through. The Beast’s number, of course, points to Revelation xiii. 18; we won't insult the reader by trying to explain the final reference in this paragraph. Addison continues: “These principles of election are the pastimes and excesses of human reason, which is so restless that it will engage in the smallest trivialities and operate even when it lacks substance. The wisest individuals are sometimes driven by such inexplicable motives, just as the lives of fools and the superstitious are guided by nothing else. I’m surprised none of the fortune-tellers, or as the French call them, the Diseurs de bonne Aventure, who advertise throughout the town, have capitalized on our lotteries. If any of them claimed to be able to cast lucky figures, imagine what they might gain from their supposed insights and predictions! I recall, among the ads in the Post-Boy from September 27th, being amazed to see the following one:—

This is to give Notice that ten Shillings over and above the Market Price, will be given for the Ticket in the 1,500,000l. Lottery, No. 132, by Nath. Cliff, at the Bible and Three Crowns in Cheapside.

This is to give notice that an additional ten shillings above the market price will be paid for the ticket in the £1,500,000 lottery, No. 132, by Nath. Cliff, at the Bible and Three Crowns in Cheapside.

“This advertisement has given great matter of speculation[445] to coffee-house theorists. Mr. Cliff’s principles and conversation have been canvassed upon this occasion, and various conjectures made why he should thus set his heart upon No. 132. I have examined all the powers in those numbers, broken them into fractions, extracted the square and cube root, divided and multiplied them all ways, but could not arrive at the secret until about three days ago, when I received the following letter from an unknown hand, by which I find that Mr. Nath. Cliff is only the agent, and not the principal, in this advertisement. ‘Mr. Spectator,—I am the person that lately advertised I would give ten shillings more than the current price for the ticket No. 132, in the lottery now drawing, which is a secret I have communicated to some friends, who rally me incessantly upon that account. You must know I have but one ticket, for which reason, and a certain dream I have lately had more than once, I resolved it should be the number I most approved. I am so positive that I have pitched upon the great lot, that I could almost lay all I am worth upon it. My visions are so frequent and strong upon this occasion, that I have not only possessed the lot, but disposed of the money which in all probability it will sell for. This morning in particular I set up an equipage which I look upon to be the gayest in the town; the liveries are very rich, but not gaudy. I should be very glad to see a speculation or two upon lottery subjects, in which you would oblige all people concerned, and in particular, your most humble servant George Gosling. P.S. Dear Spec, if I get the 12,000l. I’ll make thee a handsome present.’ After having wished my correspondent good luck, and thanked him for his intended kindness, I shall for this time dismiss the subject of the lottery, and only observe, that the greatest part of mankind are in some degree guilty of my friend Gosling’s extravagance. We are apt to rely upon future prospects, and become really expensive while we are only rich in possibility. We live up to our expectations, not to our possessions, and make a figure[446] proportionable to what we may be, not what we are. We outrun our present income, as not doubting to disburse ourselves out of the profits of some future place, project, or reversion that we have in view. It is through this temper of mind, which is so common among us, that we see tradesmen break, who have met with no misfortunes in their business; and men of estate reduced to poverty, who have never suffered from losses or repairs, tenants, taxes, or lawsuits. In short, it is this foolish sanguine temper, this depending upon contingent futurities, that occasions romantic generosity, chimerical grandeur, senseless ostentation, and generally ends in beggary and ruin. The man who will live above his present circumstances, is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them; or, as the Italian proverb runs, ‘the man who lives by hope will die by hunger.’ It should be an indispensable rule in life to contract our desires to our present condition, and, whatever may be our expectations, to live within the compass of what we actually possess. It will be time enough to enjoy an estate when it comes into our hands; but if we anticipate our good fortune, we shall lose the pleasure of it when it arrives, and may possibly never possess what we have so foolishly counted upon.” We have quoted nearly at length, and offer no excuse; for those who are familiar with the lesson can do no harm by reading it anew, while those who are not may be tempted to dip deeper, and find in the pages of the Spectator many new delights. We can offer no remarks of our own on the superstitions of “adventurers” fit to be placed by those we have extracted, and so will pass on to fresh incidents.

“This advertisement has sparked a lot of speculation[445] among coffee-house theorists. Mr. Cliff’s principles and discussions have been debated this time, with various guesses as to why he is so determined about No. 132. I analyzed all the numbers, broke them down into fractions, calculated square and cube roots, and tried various combinations, but I couldn’t uncover the secret until about three days ago, when I received a letter from an unknown source, revealing that Mr. Nath. Cliff is just the agent, not the principal, behind this advertisement. ‘Mr. Spectator,—I’m the person who recently advertised that I would pay ten shillings more than the market price for ticket No. 132 in the ongoing lottery, a secret I’ve shared with some friends, who tease me constantly about it. You should know I only have one ticket, which is why, along with a specific dream I’ve had several times lately, I’ve decided this ticket should be the one I really want. I’m so confident that I’ve chosen the winning ticket that I could almost risk everything I have on it. My visions regarding this are so frequent and intense that I not only possess the ticket but have already planned how I would spend the money it probably will bring. This morning, in particular, I set up what I think is the most extravagant conveyance in town; the livery is very elegant but not flashy. I would love to see some analyses on lottery topics, which would please everyone involved, especially your humble servant, George Gosling. P.S. Dear Spec, if I win the £12,000, I’ll give you a nice gift.’ After wishing my correspondent good luck and thanking him for his generosity, I will leave the topic of the lottery for now, and just note that most people are somewhat guilty of my friend Gosling’s extravagance. We tend to rely on future possibilities and end up being genuinely extravagant while we are only rich in potential. We live according to our expectations, not our actual assets, and present ourselves based on what we could be, rather than what we are. We exceed our current income, assuming we can pay ourselves back from the gains of some future position, project, or inheritance we have in mind. It is this common mindset that leads to tradespeople going bankrupt without having encountered any setbacks in their business, and landowners becoming impoverished without having suffered from losses, repairs, landlords, taxes, or lawsuits. In short, it is this naive optimism, this reliance on uncertain futures, that breeds unrealistic generosity, fanciful grandeur, meaningless showiness, and often ends in poverty and ruin. A person who lives beyond their current means is in great danger of soon living below them; or, as the Italian saying goes, ‘the person who lives on hope will die of hunger.’ It should be an essential rule in life to limit our desires to our current situation, and no matter what our hopes may be, to live within the boundaries of what we actually have. There will be plenty of time to enjoy wealth when it arrives, but if we count on good fortune prematurely, we will lose the joy of it when it does come, and may never achieve what we’ve foolishly relied on.” We have quoted nearly in full without apology; for those familiar with the lesson, re-reading it won’t hurt, while those who aren’t may be encouraged to delve deeper and discover many new pleasures in the pages of the Spectator. We have no personal comments to add regarding the superstitions of “adventurers” that would be worthy to accompany those we’ve shared, so we will move on to new incidents.

Lotteries abounded to such an extent about this time that we really have too much tempting material to choose from. There were the Greenwich Hospital Adventure, sanctioned by Act of Parliament; the Land Lottery, the promoter of which declared it was “found very difficult and troublesome for the adventurers for to search and find out what prizes[447] they have come up in their number-tickets, from the badness of the print, the many errors in them, and the great quantity of prizes;” as well as the Twelvepenny, or Nonsuch, the Fortunatus, and the Deer Lotteries, all flourishing; to say nothing of the smaller swindles, which, despite Parliament, were connived at by the minor authorities. The Hamburgh Lottery caused in 1723 some trouble in the House of Commons. It was ostensibly a scheme for promoting trade between Great Britain and the Elbe territories, but was as gross an imposition as even a lottery system could produce, and was ultimately suppressed by special Act, John Viscount Barrington being expelled the House for complicity in the snare. He was not the only man of rank who dabbled with dirty water, many members of the Commons being more or less openly convicted of fraud in connection with lotteries. George Robinson, Esq., member for Marlowe, disappeared mysteriously in 1731, and it was found that with him went all the hopes of the Charitable Corporation Society, who discovered upon investigation that the half million capital they thought themselves possessed of had been embezzled. Two other M.P.’s, Sir Archibald Grant and Sir Robert Sutton, were found to be concerned, in common with many other persons of position, in the defalcation, and were expelled from their seats, while their property was attached. A lottery was instituted for the benefit of the sufferers, and in 1734 they received nine shillings and ninepence in the pound. This is an advertisement published in the Daily Courant, July 1, 1734, with regard to the distribution of prizes in this same lottery:—

Lotteries were everywhere around this time, giving us too many tempting options to choose from. There was the Greenwich Hospital Adventure, approved by an Act of Parliament; the Land Lottery, whose promoter claimed it was “very difficult and troublesome for the adventurers to search and find out what prizes[447] they had won with their number-tickets because of the poor print, numerous errors, and the large number of prizes;” along with the Twelvepenny, or Nonsuch, the Fortunatus, and the Deer Lotteries, all thriving; not to mention the smaller scams, which, despite Parliament’s efforts, were overlooked by local authorities. The Hamburgh Lottery caused some trouble in the House of Commons in 1723. It was supposedly a scheme to boost trade between Great Britain and the Elbe regions, but it turned out to be as much of a scam as any lottery system could manage, and it was eventually shut down by a special Act, with John Viscount Barrington expelled from the House for his role in the scheme. He wasn’t the only prominent person to get involved in shady dealings; numerous members of the Commons were often found guilty of fraud linked to lotteries. George Robinson, Esq., the representative for Marlowe, mysteriously vanished in 1731, taking with him all the hopes of the Charitable Corporation Society, which later discovered that the half million capital they believed they had was embezzled. Two other M.P.s, Sir Archibald Grant and Sir Robert Sutton, were also implicated, along with many other influential individuals, and were expelled from their positions while their assets were seized. A lottery was organized to help the victims, and in 1734, they received nine shillings and ninepence for every pound lost. This is an advertisement published in the Daily Courant, July 1, 1734, regarding the distribution of prizes in this same lotto:—

Lottery-Office, 28 June 1734.

Lottery Office, June 28, 1734.

THE Managers appointed by an Act of Parliament for exchanging the Tickets in the Charitable Corporation Lottery give Notice, That Certificates for all Tickets in the said Lottery, which have been entered at their Office in the New Palace Yard, near the Receipt of his Majesty’s Exchequer, to the 29th Day of June, 1734, will be delivered out at their said Office, in Exchange for the said Tickets, on Wednesday and Thursday[448] next, from Ten in the Forenoon ’till Two in the Afternoon of each Day; and that the Business of taking in the Tickets will be suspended ’till Friday the 5th Day of July.

THE Managers appointed by an Act of Parliament for exchanging the tickets in the Charitable Corporation Lottery announce that certificates for all tickets in the lottery, which have been submitted at their office in the New Palace Yard, near the Receipt of his Majesty’s Exchequer, by June 29, 1734, will be issued at their office in exchange for the tickets on Wednesday and Thursday[448] next, from 10 AM to 2 PM each day; and that the process of collecting the tickets will be paused until Friday, July 5.

And whereas Tickets have been brought to be entered for Certificates, that have been altered from Blanks to Numbers intituled to Benefits (which Tickets have been detected) The Managers do hereby give Notice, that the same is declared Felony by the Act.

And since Tickets have been submitted to be exchanged for Certificates that were changed from Blanks to Numbers entitled to Benefits (which Tickets have been discovered), the Managers hereby give Notice that this is considered a Felony under the Act.

[449]

[449]

It is worthy of notice that sharpers of a description other than the promoters of lotteries were anxious to get all they could out of the ventures, and so winning numbers were very often fabricated; and in more than one instance the utterers being detected, were with the forgers tried and cast for death. A notable instance of this kind of fraud was made public in 1777, in the January of which year two Jews, Joseph Arones and Samuel Noah, were examined at Guildhall before the Lord Mayor, charged with counterfeiting the lottery ticket No. 25,590, a prize of £2000, with intent to defraud Mr Keyser, an office-keeper, who had examined the ticket carefully, and had taken it into the Stock Exchange to sell, when Mr Shewell happened to come into the same box, and hearing the office-keeper’s offer, asked to look at the ticket, as he recollected buying one of the same number a day or two before. This very fortunately led to the discovery of the fraud, and the two Jews were committed to take their trial. The number was so artfully altered from 23,590 that not the least erasure could be discerned. Arones was but just come to England, and Noah was said to be a man of property. In the February the two were tried at the Old Bailey for forgery and fraud. Their defence was that Arones found the ticket, and persons were produced to swear to the fact, which they did positively and circumstantially, that the prisoners were discharged. At the same sessions Daniel Denny was tried for forging, counterfeiting, and altering a lottery ticket with intent to defraud; and being found guilty, was condemned. In later days the small cards given on race-courses—and a few years back in the streets—by turf bookmakers to their customers were very successfully imitated, sometimes the number of a ticket which was known to be held by a winner being counterfeited, while at others the brazen-visaged presenter would simply depend upon his ability to “bounce” the layer of odds into the belief that the entry was wrong as to the amount or name of horse. In these latter cases the ingenuity exhibited was great—was in fact of the kind which judges are in the habit of instancing as worthy of better application. As if judges—and juries too, when they have sense—did not know that the only outlet for ability nine times out of ten in certain conditions of society is in a criminal direction. The kind of skill which brings a man to the Central Criminal Court is not likely to find much of an opening so far as money-getting is concerned, and from the ingenuity of the great bank-forgers of 1873, down to that of Counsellor Kelly and Jim the Penman of watch-robbery recollection, there is a wide field of skill for which virtue has small market, and which therefore turns to vice for its reward. We say this without any wish to be regarded as encouragers of crime in any shape or form, but because we consider the words of the judge humbug, and the leaders in certain papers which always break out upon such occasions as we have referred to as cant of the most flagitious character. There is hardly a man now languishing in prison for being ingenious who will not tell you that ingenuity has been his bane, not alone because he yielded to temptation, but because he found the market overstocked with people quite as clever as himself who had additional advantages. This simply proves that the ability which looks so great when it has been devoted to the purposes of robbery is of a very small order after all, and shows itself in its true light when in its proper channel. What, if estimated at their proper value, were the qualifications of the American forgers or the English burglars? Are there not scores of confidential clerks and dozens of skilled mechanics who could have done as well or better than[450] either if they had chosen so to do? Yes, decidedly. Yet in both cases, as well as in many others, the judge and jury, the public and the press, affected to be horror-struck at such a waste of talent. But, as they say in the novels, this is a digression.

It’s worth noting that swindlers, besides those promoting lotteries, were eager to exploit these ventures, leading to the frequent fabrication of winning numbers. In several cases, the forgers were caught and sentenced to death. A famous case of this type of fraud emerged in January 1777 when two men, Joseph Arones and Samuel Noah, were examined at Guildhall by the Lord Mayor, accused of counterfeiting lottery ticket No. 25,590, a £2000 prize, in order to defraud Mr. Keyser, an office-keeper. Mr. Keyser had carefully examined the ticket and brought it to the Stock Exchange to sell when Mr. Shewell coincidentally entered the same box. After hearing Mr. Keyser’s offer, he requested to see the ticket, recalling that he had purchased one of the same number a day or two earlier. This lucky encounter led to the discovery of the fraud, resulting in the two men being taken for trial. The counterfeit number was altered so cleverly from 23,590 that no erasure could be detected. Arones had just arrived in England, while Noah was said to be a man of means. In February, the two were tried at the Old Bailey for forgery and fraud. They claimed that Arones found the ticket, and witnesses swore to support this, leading to their release. During the same sessions, Daniel Denny was tried for forging, counterfeiting, and altering a lottery ticket with the intent to defraud and was found guilty, resulting in a conviction. More recently, small cards distributed by bookmakers at racecourses—and, a few years ago, on the streets—were often impersonated. Sometimes, the number of a ticket known to be held by a winner was counterfeited, while in other instances, the brazen presenter would rely on his ability to convince the bettor that there was an error in the amount or horse’s name. In these cases, the displayed cleverness was considerable and often cited by judges as having potential for better use. It’s as if judges—and juries, when they think logically—don’t realize that in certain societal conditions, the only outlet for talent is often criminality. The type of skill that lands someone in the Central Criminal Court isn’t likely to find many opportunities for legitimate gain, and from the cleverness of the significant bank forgers of 1873 to the ingenuity of Counsellor Kelly and Jim the Penman in watch thefts, there exists ample opportunity for talent that has little market in virtue, thus turning to vice for rewards. We say this not to promote crime in any form but because we believe the judge’s remarks are insincere, as are the proclamations from some newspapers that always show up during such incidents. There’s hardly a person now sitting in prison for being clever who wouldn’t tell you that their ingenuity has led to their downfall, not just because they gave in to temptation, but because they found the market flooded with equally skilled individuals with additional advantages. This simply shows that the talent that seems so impressive when used for thievery is actually of a lesser order and reveals itself accurately when applied in proper contexts. What, when evaluated correctly, are the qualifications of American forgers or English burglars? Aren't there numerous trusted clerks and skilled tradespeople who could have performed just as well, if not better? Yes, absolutely. Yet in both instances, along with many others, the judge and jury, the public and the press, pretended to be horrified by such a waste of talent. But, as they say in novels, that’s a digression.

In 1736 an Act was passed to build Westminster Bridge by means of a lottery, and by means of advertisement the following scheme was submitted to the public:—

In 1736, an Act was passed to construct Westminster Bridge through a lottery, and through advertisements, the following plan was presented to the public:—

LOTTERY 1736, for raising 100000l. for building a Bridge at Westminster, consisting of 125000 Tickets at 5l. each.

LOTTERY 1736, to raise £100,000 for building a bridge at Westminster, made up of 125,000 tickets at £5 each.

Prizes 1 of 20000 l. is 20000 l.
2 10000 20000
3 5000 15000
10 3000 30000
40 1000 40000
60 500 30000
100 200 20000
200 100 20000
400 50 20000
1000 20 20000
28800 10 288000
30616 Prizes, amounting to   523000  
94384 Blanks.  
  First Drawn 1000  
  Last Drawn 1000
125000   525000

The Prizes to be paid at the Bank in 40 Days after Drawing, without Deduction. N.B. There is little more than Three Blanks to a Prize.

The prizes will be paid at the bank 40 days after the drawing, without any deductions. N.B. There are just over three blanks for each prize.

Other lotteries were granted for the same purpose before the bridge was completed. Its structure must have been as rotten as the system on which it was built, as for many years before it was pulled down it was a disgrace to the neighbourhood; and as it was anything but old when it was demolished, it must have gone to decay almost as soon as it was opened. Almost every imaginable article was at this period disposed of by raffle or lottery, and Horace Walpole, writing[451] about one for an organ, says: “I am now in pursuit of getting the finest piece of music that ever was heard; it is a thing that will play eight tunes. Handel and all the great musicians say, that it is beyond anything they can do; and this may be performed by the most ignorant person; and when you are weary of those eight tunes, you may have them changed for any other that you like. This I think much better than going to an Italian opera or an assembly. This performance has been lately put into a lottery, and all the royal family choose to have a great many tickets rather than to buy it, the price being I think £1000, infinitely a less sum than some bishoprics have been sold for. And a gentleman won it, who I am in hopes will sell it, and if he will, I will buy it, for I cannot live to have another made, and I will carry it into the country with me.” As Walpole lived for sixty years after this, he must have lived to see much more wonderful instruments built, and possibly offered as prizes in lotteries. In June 1743 the price of lottery tickets rose from £10 to £11, 10s., the prizes being in no way increased, and a hint to the unwary was published, in which it was shown that adventurers “gamed at 50 per cent. loss; paying at that price 2s. 6d. to play for 5s.; the money played for being only three pound, besides discount and deductions.” The practice of giving £1000 each to the first and last drawn tickets led to a curious difficulty in 1774. On the 5th of January, at the conclusion of drawing the State Lottery at Guildhall, No. 11,053, as the last-drawn ticket, was declared to be entitled to the thousand pounds, and was so printed in the paper of benefits by order of the commissioners. It was, beside, a prize of a hundred pounds. But after the wheels were carried back to Whitehall, and there opened, the ticket No. 72,248 was found sticking in a crevice of the wheel. And, being the next-drawn ticket after all the prizes were drawn, was advertised by the commissioners’ order as entitled to the thousand pounds, as the last-drawn ticket; “which affair,” we are[452] told by the Gentleman’s Magazine, “made a great deal of noise.” The State Lottery of 1751 met with much opposition from the press, and an article in the London Magazine gives the following computation of its chances:—

Other lotteries had been set up for the same reason before the bridge was finished. Its construction must have been as poor as the system it was based on, as it was a blemish on the neighborhood for many years before it was taken down; and since it was anything but old when it was demolished, it must have decayed almost immediately after it was opened. During this time, nearly everything you could think of was sold off by raffle or lottery, and Horace Walpole, writing[451] about a lottery for an organ, says: “I’m now trying to get my hands on the best piece of music ever created; it’s capable of playing eight tunes. Handel and all the great musicians say it’s beyond what they can achieve; and anyone can play it, no matter how inexperienced they are. When you get tired of those eight tunes, you can swap them out for any others you prefer. I think this is far better than going to an Italian opera or a dance. This performance has just been included in a lottery, and all the royal family have chosen to buy many tickets instead of purchasing it outright, the price being, I believe, £1000, which is much less than some bishoprics have sold for. A gentleman won it, and I hope he’ll sell it, because if he does, I will buy it, as I can't wait for another to be made, and I’ll take it with me to the countryside.” Since Walpole lived for another sixty years after this, he likely saw many more amazing instruments created and possibly offered as lottery prizes. In June 1743, the price of lottery tickets increased from £10 to £11, 10s., with the prizes remaining the same, and a warning to the unsuspecting was published, showing that players “gambled at a 50 percent loss; paying that price, it cost them 2s. 6d. to play for 5s.; with the total money played for being only three pounds, plus discounts and deductions.” The practice of giving £1000 each to the first and last drawn tickets caused an unusual problem in 1774. On January 5th, at the end of the State Lottery drawing at Guildhall, ticket No. 11,053, as the last drawn ticket, was announced to have won the thousand pounds and was published in the benefits list by order of the commissioners. It also happened to be a prize of a hundred pounds. However, after the wheels were taken back to Whitehall and opened, ticket No. 72,248 was found caught in a crevice of the wheel. Being the next ticket drawn after all the prizes were announced, it was then advertised by the commissioners’ order as eligible for the thousand pounds as the last drawn ticket; “this situation,” we are[452] told by the Gentleman’s Magazine, “caused quite a stir.” The State Lottery of 1751 faced a lot of backlash from the press, and an article in the London Magazine provides the following estimation of its odds:—

IN THE LOTTERY 1751 IT IS

IN THE LOTTERY 1751 IT IS

69998 to 2 or 34999 to 1 against a £10000 Prize
69994 to 6 or 11665 to 1 against a 5000 or upwards
69989 to 11 or 6363 to 1 against a 3000
69981 to 19 or 3683 to 1 against a 2000
69961 to 39 or 1794 to 1 against a 1000
69920 to 80 or 874 to 1 against a 500
69720 to 280 or 249 to 1 against a 100
69300 to 700 or 99 to 1 against a 50
60000 to 10000 or 6 to 1 against a 20 or any Prize.

The writer then goes on to say: “I would beg the favour of all gentlemen, tradesmen, and others, to take the pains to explain to such as any way depend upon their judgment, that one must buy no less than seven tickets to have an even chance for any prize at all; that with only one ticket it is six to one, and with half a ticket twelve to one, against any prize; and ninety-nine or a hundred to one that the prize, if it comes, will not be above £50; and no less than thirty-five thousand to one that the owner of a single ticket will not obtain one of the greatest prizes. No lottery is proper for persons of very small fortunes, to whom the loss of five or six pounds is of great consequence, besides the disturbance of their minds; much less is it advisable or desirable for either poor or rich to contribute to the exorbitant tax of more than two hundred thousand pounds, which the first engrossers of lottery tickets, and the brokers and dealers, strive to raise out of the pockets of the poor chiefly, and the silly rich partly, by artfully enhancing the price of tickets above the original cost.” The first price of tickets in this lottery was ten pounds. On their rise a Mr Holland publicly offered in an advertisement to wager four hundred guineas that four hundred tickets when drawn[453] did not amount to nine pounds fifteen shillings on an average, prizes and blanks. As might have been expected, his challenge was never accepted. On the 11th of the next month (November) the drawing began, and notwithstanding the public-spirited efforts of individuals, societies, and papers which did not receive any benefit in the way of advertisements, to check the exorbitancy of the ticket-mongers, the price rose steadily and ultimately to sixteen guineas a ticket. All means were tried by the disinterested to cure this infatuation by writing and advertising; and on the first day of drawing, it was publicly averred that near eight thousand tickets were in the South Sea House, and upwards of thirty thousand pawned at bankers, &c., that nine out of ten of the ticket-holders were not able to go to the wheel, and that not one of them durst stand the drawing above six days. These dealers seem to have had an awkward knack of selling the same ticket to two buyers, or disposing of more than the proper fractional parts of one ticket, in the hope of its turning up a blank, thus “going for the gloves” in a style imitated in modern days by votaries of Tattersall’s and other betting institutions with much success. This arrangement, with others of a similar nature, led to the establishment of insurances offices, which, at first an ostensible protection by guaranteeing special numbers, and thereby preventing fraud on the part of sellers, became in time greater swindles than those they were supposed to prevent.

The writer goes on to say: “I would like to ask all gentlemen, tradesmen, and others, to take the time to explain to those who depend on their judgment that you need to buy at least seven tickets to have a fair chance of winning any prize; with just one ticket, your odds are six to one, and with half a ticket, it’s twelve to one against winning anything; and it’s ninety-nine to one or a hundred to one that the prize, if you win, won’t be more than £50; and thirty-five thousand to one that someone with a single ticket will get one of the big prizes. Lotteries are not suitable for people with very small fortunes, for whom losing five or six pounds is significant, in addition to the stress it causes them; it’s even less wise or desirable for either the poor or the rich to contribute to the outrageous tax of over two hundred thousand pounds, which the first lottery ticket sellers, brokers, and dealers are trying to extract mainly from the poor and somewhat from the foolishly wealthy, by artificially inflating the ticket prices above the original cost.” The initial price of tickets in this lottery was ten pounds. As the price rose, a Mr. Holland publicly advertised a bet of four hundred guineas that four hundred tickets, when drawn, wouldn’t average nine pounds fifteen shillings, including prizes and blanks. As expected, no one accepted his challenge. On the 11th of the following month (November), the drawing started, and despite the public-spirited efforts of individuals, societies, and papers that didn’t receive any advertising benefits, to curb the outrageousness of the ticket sellers, the price steadily increased and eventually reached sixteen guineas per ticket. Various efforts were made by those who had no personal gain to combat this obsession through writing and advertising; on the first day of the drawing, it was publicly stated that nearly eight thousand tickets were in the South Sea House, and over thirty thousand were pawned at banks, etc., with nine out of ten ticket-holders unable to go to the drawing, and not one of them willing to endure the drawing for more than six days. These sellers seemed to have a knack for selling the same ticket to two buyers, or selling more than the correct fractional parts of one ticket, hoping it would end up being a blank, thus “going for the gloves” in a style that’s been imitated in modern times by fans of Tattersall’s and other betting institutions with great success. This arrangement, along with similar ones, led to the creation of insurance offices, which initially provided protection by guaranteeing specific numbers to prevent seller fraud but eventually turned into bigger scams than those they were meant to prevent.

To prevent the monopoly of tickets in the State Lottery, and the consequent upheaval of rates, it had been enacted that persons charged with the delivery of tickets should not sell more than twenty to one person. This provision was evaded by the use of pretended lists, which defeated the object of Parliament, and injured public credit, insomuch that in 1754 more tickets were subscribed for than the holders of the lists had cash to purchase, and there was a deficiency in the first payment. The mischief and notoriety[454] of these practices occasioned the House of Commons to prosecute an inquiry into the circumstances, which, though opposed by a scandalous cabal that endeavoured to screen the delinquents, ended in a report, by the committee, that Peter Leheup, Esq., had privately disposed of a great number of tickets before the office was opened to which the public were directed by advertisement to apply; that he also delivered great numbers to particular persons, upon lists of names which he knew to be fictitious; and that, in particular, Sampson Gideon became proprietor of more than six thousand, which he sold at a premium. Upon report of these and other illegal acts, the House resolved that Leheup was guilty of a violation of the Act and a breach of trust, and presented an address to his Majesty praying that he would direct the Attorney-General to prosecute him in the most effectual manner for his offences. An information was accordingly filed, and, on a trial at bar in the Court of King’s Bench, Leheup, as one of the receivers of the last lottery of three hundred thousand pounds, was found guilty (1) of receiving subscriptions before the day and hour advertised; (2) of permitting the subscribers to use different names to cover an excess of twenty tickets; and (3) of disposing of the tickets which had been bespoke, and not claimed, or were double charged, instead of returning them to the managers. In Trinity Term, Leheup was brought up for judgment, and fined a thousand pounds, which was at once paid. This was one of the grossest miscarriages of justice known with regard to the lottery frauds, as in the course of the evidence given it was discovered that the defendant had amassed by his trickery over forty thousand pounds for his own share. Another instance of the horrible effect these instruments of gambling had on the public mind is found in the madness of many successful speculators, as well as in the continuous suicides of the unsuccessful. On November 5, 1757, Mr Keys, a clerk, who had absented himself from business[455] ever since the 7th of October, on which day was drawn the ten-thousand-pound prize, supposed to be his property, was found in the streets raving mad, having been robbed of his pocket-book and ticket.

To stop the ticket monopoly in the State Lottery and the resulting price hikes, a law was put in place that restricted individuals responsible for delivering tickets from selling more than twenty to one person. This rule was sidestepped through fake lists, undermining Parliament's intention and harming public trust. By 1754, more tickets were requested than the list holders had money to buy, resulting in a shortfall in the initial payment. The harmful and widely known nature of these practices led the House of Commons to investigate the situation, which was opposed by a shameful faction trying to protect the wrongdoers. The committee's report revealed that Peter Leheup, Esq., had secretly sold a large number of tickets before the office opened, which the public was told to approach through advertisements; he also distributed many tickets to specific individuals based on names he knew were fake. Notably, Sampson Gideon owned over six thousand tickets, which he sold at a premium. After reviewing these and other illegal activities, the House concluded that Leheup was guilty of breaking the Act and violating public trust, and they submitted a request to the King asking him to direct the Attorney-General to prosecute Leheup effectively for his actions. Accordingly, charges were filed, and during a trial at the King’s Bench, Leheup, as one of the agents for the last lottery of three hundred thousand pounds, was found guilty of (1) accepting subscriptions before the announced date and time; (2) allowing subscribers to use different names to exceed the twenty-ticket limit; and (3) disposing of tickets that had been requested but were unclaimed or charged more than once instead of returning them to the managers. In the Trinity Term, Leheup was brought in for sentencing and fined a thousand pounds, which he paid immediately. This was one of the most severe miscarriages of justice related to lottery frauds, as evidence showed he had earned over forty thousand pounds from his deceit. Another example of the terrible impact these gambling schemes had on public psychology is evident in the madness of numerous winners and the ongoing suicides of those who lost. On November 5, 1757, Mr. Keys, a clerk who had been absent from work since October 7, the day the ten-thousand-pound prize was drawn, believed to be his, was found in the streets, raving mad after having been robbed of his wallet and ticket.

The very small parts into which shares were divided more than a hundred years ago is shown by the following advertisement, published in several papers of November 1766:—

The tiny pieces that shares were split into more than a hundred years ago are illustrated by the following advertisement, published in several newspapers in November 1766:—

DAME FORTUNE presents her Respects to the Public, and assures them that she has fixed her Residence for the Present at CORBETT’S State Lottery Office, opposite St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street; and, to enable many Families to partake of her Favours, she has ordered not only the Tickets to be sold at the lowest Prices, but also that they be divided into Shares at the following low Rates,—viz.:—

DAME FORTUNE extends her greetings to the Public and wants to let them know that she is currently located at CORBETT’S State Lottery Office, across from St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street; and to help many families benefit from her generosity, she has instructed that the Tickets be sold at the lowest prices and that they be broken into Shares at the following low Rates,—namely:—

  £ s. d.
0 4 0
0 7 6
0 15 0
1 10 0
3 0 0
6 0 0

By which may be gained from upwards of one hundred and fifty to upwards of five thousand Guineas, at her said Office No. 30.

By which you can earn anywhere from over one hundred and fifty to more than five thousand Guineas at her office, No. 30.

As another instance of the superstition prevalent during the lottery mania we will give the following anecdote, which though old will bear repetition. A gentlewoman whose husband had presented her with a ticket, put up prayers in the church, the day before drawing, in the following manner: “The prayers of the congregation are desired for the success of a person engaged in a new undertaking.” Lottery tickets were often presented by gentlemen to ladies, and it is recorded that a lady falling in love with an actor, finding that the many letters of passionate admiration she sent him passed unnoticed, accompanied one of them with a gift of four lottery tickets. Whether they were successful, either as regards moving his obdurate heart or providing him with[456] a prize, we are unfortunately not able to say. Anyhow, it doesn’t much matter, as the recipient of the favours died shortly afterwards; and most likely the unknown lady consoled herself with another and more willing lover, or else with a lottery.

As another example of the superstition that was common during the lottery craze, we’ll share the following story, which, although old, is worth repeating. A woman whose husband gave her a lottery ticket offered prayers in church the day before the drawing, saying, “I ask the congregation to pray for the success of someone starting a new venture.” Lottery tickets were often given to women by men, and it’s noted that a lady who fell in love with an actor, finding that her many passionate letters were ignored, sent one of them along with a gift of four lottery tickets. Whether those tickets were successful in winning his hard heart or providing him with a prize, we unfortunately don’t know. In any case, it doesn’t really matter since the recipient passed away shortly after; most likely, the unknown lady found comfort with another more receptive lover, or perhaps with a lottery ticket.

Between 1770 and 1775 the tricks of the insurers occupied a great deal of attention, and almost left the ordinary office-keepers unnoticed. The two businesses were, however, pretty well mixed up by this time. An important trial took place at Guildhall for the purpose of deciding the legality of insuring on March 1, 1773, the Lord Mayor being plaintiff, and Messrs Barnes & Golightly defendants, but on account of an error in the declaration the plaintiff was nonsuited. On June 26, 1775, a cause came on in the Court of Common Pleas, Guildhall, between a gentleman, plaintiff, and a lottery office-keeper, defendant. The cause of the action was, that the gentleman, passing by the lottery office, observed a woman and a boy crying, on which he asked the reason of their tears. They informed him that they had insured a number in the lottery on the overnight, and upon inquiry at another office, found it to have been drawn five days before, and therefore wanted their money returned. The gentleman taking their part was assaulted and beaten by the office-keeper, and the jury, after hearing the evidence, gave a verdict in favour of the gentleman with five pounds damages.

Between 1770 and 1775, the tricks of the insurers drew a lot of attention, almost overshadowing the ordinary office keepers. However, by this time, the two businesses were pretty intertwined. An important trial took place at Guildhall to decide the legality of insuring on March 1, 1773, with the Lord Mayor as the plaintiff and Messrs Barnes & Golightly as the defendants. However, due to an error in the declaration, the plaintiff was nonsuited. On June 26, 1775, a case was heard in the Court of Common Pleas at Guildhall between a gentleman, the plaintiff, and a lottery office keeper, the defendant. The reason for the lawsuit was that the gentleman, passing by the lottery office, saw a woman and a boy crying and asked what was wrong. They explained that they had insured a number in the lottery the night before, and upon checking with another office, found out it had been drawn five days earlier, so they wanted their money back. The gentleman, supporting them, was assaulted and beaten by the office keeper. After hearing the evidence, the jury ruled in favor of the gentleman and awarded him five pounds in damages.

In 1775 some of the Bluecoat boys appointed to assist in the drawing of the State Lottery were tampered with for the purpose of inducing them to commit a fraud. These attempts were successful in one instance that became known, and doubtless in many others that did not. This discovery led to certain regulations, which were carried out with great vigour. On the 1st of June a man was brought before the Lord Mayor for attempting to bribe the two boys who drew the Museum Lottery at Guildhall to conceal a ticket, and to bring it to him, promising that he would at[457] once return it. His intention was to insure it in all the offices with a view to defraud the keepers. The boys were so frightened at the proposition that they gave notice to the managers of the lottery, and pointed out the delinquent, who was, however, discharged, as there was no law by which to punish him. On the 5th of December another of the boys engaged to draw the numbers in the State Lottery at Guildhall was examined before Sir Charles Asgill relative to a number that had been drawn out the Friday before, on which an assurance had been made in almost every office in London. The boy confessed that he was prevailed upon to conceal the ticket No. 21,481, by a man who paid him for so doing; that the man copied the number; and that the next day he followed the man’s instructions, and put his hand into the wheel as usual, with the ticket in it, and then pretended to draw it from among the rest. The instigator of the offence had actually received £400 of the insurance-office keepers. Had all of them paid him, the whole sum would have amounted to £3000; but some of them suspected a fraud had been committed, and caused the inquiry which led to the boy’s confessing both the temptation and his folly. On the next day the man who insured the ticket was examined. He was clerk to a hop-factor in Goodman’s Fields; but not being the person who had persuaded the boy to secrete the ticket and pretend to draw it in the usual manner, and no evidence appearing to connect him with the actual seducer, the prisoner was discharged, though it was ascertained that he had insured the number already mentioned ninety-one times in one day. In consequence of the circumstances which led to this examination, the Lords of the Treasury inquired further and deliberated on the means of preventing a recurrence of such transactions. The result of their conference was the following order, which was, however, but privately circulated, and was never published in any periodical, book, or newspaper until after the abolition of Lotteries:—

In 1775, some Bluecoat boys who were supposed to help with the State Lottery were approached to commit fraud. This was successful in at least one known case and likely many others that went unnoticed. This led to strict regulations being put into place. On June 1, a man was brought before the Lord Mayor for trying to bribe two boys who were drawing the Museum Lottery at Guildhall to hide a ticket and give it to him, promising he would return it immediately. His plan was to insure it at all the offices to defraud the keepers. The boys were so scared by the proposal that they alerted the lottery managers and identified the perpetrator, who was released because there was no law to punish him. On December 5, another boy involved in drawing numbers in the State Lottery at Guildhall was questioned by Sir Charles Asgill regarding a number drawn the previous Friday, for which insurance had been placed in almost every office in London. The boy admitted that he was persuaded to hide ticket No. 21,481 by a man who paid him to do so; the man copied the number, and the next day, the boy followed his instructions and pretended to draw it from the mix, ticket in hand. The instigator of this act had actually collected £400 from the insurance-office keepers. If all had paid him, it would have totaled £3,000; however, some suspected fraud and prompted the inquiry that led to the boy confessing both the temptation and his foolishness. The following day, the man who insured the ticket was interrogated. He worked as a clerk for a hop-factor in Goodman’s Fields, but since he wasn’t the one who persuaded the boy to hide the ticket and no evidence linked him to the actual instigator, he was released, even though he had already insured the mentioned number 91 times in one day. Due to the circumstances of this inquiry, the Lords of the Treasury investigated further and considered ways to prevent such incidents from happening again. Their discussions resulted in an order that was circulated privately and never published in any periodical, book, or newspaper until after lotteries were abolished:—

[458]

[458]

Order of December 12, 1775.

Order from December 12, 1775.

A DISCOVERY having been made that WILLIAM TRAMPLETT, one of the Boys employed in drawing the Lottery had, at the Instigation of one CHARLES LOWNDES, (since absconded) at different Times in former Rolls, taken out of the Number Wheel THREE numbered Tickets, which were at THREE several Times returned by him into the said Wheel, and drawn without his parting with them, so as to give them the Appearance of being fairly drawn to answer the purpose of defrauding by insurance:

A Discovery has been made that WILLIAM TRAMPLETT, one of the Boys involved in running the Lottery, had, at the urging of CHARLES LOWNDES (who has since disappeared), at different times in previous draws, taken out of the Number Wheel THREE numbered Tickets, which he returned to the Wheel THREE separate times and drew without giving them up, making it look like they were drawn fairly to facilitate fraud through insurance:

IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, for preventing the like wicked Practices in future, that every Boy, before he is suffered to put his Hand into either Wheel, be brought by the Proclaimer to the Managers on Duty, for them to see that the Bosoms and Sleeves of his Coat be closely buttoned, his Pockets sewed up, and his Hands examined; and that during the Time of his being on Duty, he shall keep his left Hand in his Girdle behind him, and his right Hand open with his Fingers extended; and the Proclaimer is not to suffer him at any Time to leave the Wheel, without being first examined by the Manager nearest him.

IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, to prevent similar harmful actions in the future, that every boy, before he is allowed to touch either wheel, must be brought by the Proclaimer to the Managers on Duty, so they can ensure that the front and sleeves of his coat are tightly buttoned, his pockets are sewn shut, and his hands are checked; and that while he is on duty, he must keep his left hand in the waistband behind him, and his right hand open with his fingers spread; and the Proclaimer is not to allow him to leave the wheel at any time without first being checked by the nearest Manager.

The Observance of the foregoing Order is recommended by the Managers on this Roll to those on the succeeding Rolls, till the matter shall be more fully discussed at a general Meeting.

The Managers on this Roll recommend following the above Order to those on the next Rolls, until the matter can be discussed in more detail at a general Meeting.

It is noticeable that though only one ticket was spoken of in the police case, the secret instructions refer to three. It is likely that if it had been known that more than one had been tampered with, a general unpleasantness would have resulted, and the whole of the drawing been declared null and void. As it was, there was some difficulty in keeping the matter within bounds; and the trifling proportion of the attempted cheat, as compared with the magnitude of the general issue, was the strong point of the lottery managers. The exposure of the attempted, and so far as two tickets were concerned apparently successful, fraud, would have led to a vast amount of trouble and expense, and would have considerably added to the unpopularity of lotteries—a feeling which, as it was, made itself now and again very manifest. Anyhow the secret was kept for over sixty years, as it was never divulged until the general dissolution of the lottery system in 1826, when the following[459] on the same subject was also for the first time made public:—

It's clear that even though only one ticket was mentioned in the police case, the secret instructions refer to three. If it had been known that more than one ticket was tampered with, it likely would have caused a lot of problems, and the entire drawing would have been deemed invalid. As it stood, there was some difficulty in keeping the issue contained; the small number of attempted cheats compared to the overall magnitude of the draw was a strong point for the lottery managers. Revealing the attempted fraud, which was seemingly successful for two tickets, would have resulted in a lot of trouble and costs, and would have significantly increased the unpopularity of lotteries—a sentiment that, even then, occasionally surfaced. In any case, the secret was kept for over sixty years, as it wasn't revealed until the general dissolution of the lottery system in 1826, when the following[459] on the same subject was also madepublic:—

Order at General Meeting.

Order during General Meeting.

A Plan of Rules and Regulations to be observed in order to prevent the Boys committing Frauds, &c., in the Drawing of the Lottery, agreeable to Directions received by Mr. Johnson on Tuesday the 16th of January 1776, from the Lords of the Treasury.

A Set of Rules and Guidelines to be followed to prevent the Boys from committing frauds, etc., in the Lottery drawing, as directed by Mr. Johnson on Tuesday, January 16, 1776, from the Treasury Lords.

THAT ten Managers be always on the Roll at Guildhall, two of whom are to be conveniently placed opposite the two Boys at the Wheels, in order to observe that they strictly conform themselves to the Rules and Orders directed by the Committee at Guildhall, on Tuesday, December 12, 1775.

THat ten Managers should always be present at Guildhall, with two of them positioned directly across from the two Boys at the Wheels, to ensure that they strictly follow the Rules and Orders set by the Committee at Guildhall on Tuesday, December 12, 1775.

THAT it be requested of the Treasurer of Christ’s Hospital not to make known who are the twelve Boys nominated for drawing the Lottery till the morning the Drawing begins; which said Boys are all to attend every Day, and the two who are to go on Duty at the Wheels are to be taken promiscuously from amongst the whole Number by either of the Secretaries, without observing any regular Course or Order; so that no Boy shall know when it will be his turn to go to either Wheel.

THat it is requested of the Treasurer of Christ’s Hospital not to reveal who the twelve Boys chosen for the Lottery are until the morning the Drawing starts; these Boys are to attend every day, and the two who will operate the Wheels will be selected randomly from the entire group by either of the Secretaries, without following any specific order; so that no Boy will know when it is his turn to go to either Wheel.

THIS METHOD, though attended with considerable additional Expense, by the extra Attendance of two Managers and six Boys, will, it is presumed, effectually prevent any Attempt being made to corrupt or bribe any of the Boys to commit the Fraud practised in the last Lottery.

THIS METHOD, although it comes with significant extra costs due to the additional presence of two Managers and six Boys, is expected to effectively prevent any attempts to corrupt or bribe any of the Boys to commit the fraud that occurred in the last Lottery.

In July 1778 there was tried before Lord Mansfield at Guildhall a case wherein a merchant was plaintiff and a lottery-office keeper defendant. The action was for the purpose of recovering damages against the office-keeper for suffering plaintiff’s apprentice, a youth, to insure during the drawing of the last lottery, contrary to the statute; whereby the lad lost a considerable sum, the property of his master. The jury, without leaving their box, gave a verdict for the plaintiff, and the judge ordered the defendant to pay £500 penalty and be imprisoned for three months. During the same year, Parliament having discussed the evil of insuring, and the mischievous subdivision of the shares of tickets, passed an Act for the regulation of lottery offices, by which it was enacted that every office-keeper[460] should pay £50 for a licence, and give tangible security not to infringe any part of the Act; that no smaller portion of any ticket than a sixteenth should be disposed of under a penalty of £50; that any person disposing of goods or merchandise upon any chance relating to the drawing of any ticket should be liable to a fine of £20; and that all shares should be stamped at an office established under the said Act, the original tickets being kept at the office till after the drawing. Many other regulations were made in the same law, and in the following year the question was again subject of legislation; but notwithstanding all the efforts of the Commons, the ruinous practice of insuring was still conducted with dexterity and great profit by the office-keepers. This is one of their plans for evading the law:—

In July 1778, a case was tried before Lord Mansfield at Guildhall where a merchant was the plaintiff and a lottery-office keeper was the defendant. The lawsuit aimed to recover damages from the office keeper for allowing the plaintiff's apprentice, a young man, to insure during the drawing of the last lottery, which was against the law; as a result, the young man lost a significant amount of money that belonged to his master. The jury, without leaving their seats, ruled in favor of the plaintiff, and the judge ordered the defendant to pay a £500 penalty and serve three months in prison. That same year, Parliament discussed the issues of insurance and the harmful division of ticket shares, leading to the passage of an Act to regulate lottery offices. This Act required every office keeper[460] to pay £50 for a license and provide security to ensure compliance with the Act; it stated that no portion of any ticket smaller than a sixteenth could be sold under a £50 penalty; any person selling goods or services based on the drawing of a ticket would face a £20 fine; and that all shares needed to be stamped at an office established under the Act, with the original tickets kept there until after the drawing. Many other regulations were included in this law, and the following year, the issue was revisited in legislation. Despite all the efforts made by the Commons, the damaging practice of insurance continued to be executed skillfully and profitably by the office keepers. This is one of their strategies to evade the law:—

November 7, 1781.

November 7, 1781.

Mode of Insurance,

Insurance Type,

WHICH continues the whole Time of drawing the Lottery, at CARRICK’S STATE LOTTERY OFFICE, King’s Arms, 72, Threadneedle Street. At one Guinea each NUMBERS are taken, to return three Twenty Pound Prizes, value Sixty Pounds, for every given Number that shall be drawn any Prize whatever above Twenty Pounds during the whole drawing.

WHICH continues throughout the entire drawing of the Lottery at CARRICK’S STATE LOTTERY OFFICE, King’s Arms, 72, Threadneedle Street. At one Guinea each NUMBERS can be purchased, offering three Twenty Pound Prizes, totaling Sixty Pounds, for every number that is drawn for any prize exceeding Twenty Pounds during the entire drawing.

*** Numbers at half a Guinea to receive half the above.

*** Numbers at half a Guinea will receive half of the above.

And here is another of about the same date, which openly violates the spirit if not the letter of the law:—

And here’s another one from around the same time that clearly goes against the spirit, if not the actual wording, of the law:—

J. COOK respectfully solicits the Public will favour the following incomparably advantageous plan with attention, by which upwards of thirty-two thousand Chances for obtaining a Prize (out of the forty-eight thousand Tickets) are given in one Policy.

J. Cook respectfully asks the public to consider the following incredibly beneficial plan, which provides over thirty-two thousand chances to win a prize (from a total of forty-eight thousand tickets) with just one policy.

POLICIES OF FIVE GUINEAS with three Numbers, with the first Number will gain

POLICIES OF FIVE GUINEAS with three Numbers, with the first Number will gain

20000 if a Prize of £20000
10000 £10000
5000 £5000

with the second Number will gain

with the second number will gain

6000 guineas if 20000
3000 10000
1500 5000

[461]

[461]

with the third Number will gain

with the third number will gain

3000 guineas if 20000
1500 10000
1200 5000

Then follow the address and other tempting inducements. In 1781 an Act was passed to prevent the insurance of tickets by any method. The office-keepers continued to insure notwithstanding, and many prosecutions resulted; but as the profits were greater than the fines, business continued to run briskly. One man was in 1784 fined fifteen hundred pounds, and he brought an action in 1785 to recover the money from the sheriff who had levied the amount on his goods. The case was tried in the Court of King’s Bench, and ended in an almost immediate nonsuit. In February 1793 the Commissioners of the Lottery, in order to abate insuring, determined that no persons should be suffered to take down numbers except the clerks of licensed offices known to the Commissioners. No slips were to be sent out; but the numbers were to be taken down by one clerk in one book; Steel’s list of lottery numbers was to be abolished, and a recompense made for it; and the magistrates resolved to apprehend all suspicious persons who should be seen taking early numbers. Yet in 1796 there was a class of sharpers who took lottery insurances, and this gambling among the higher and middle classes was carried on to an extent exceeding all credibility, producing consequences to many private families of great worth and respectability, of the most distressing nature.

Then follow the address and other enticing offers. In 1781, a law was passed to stop tickets from being insured by any means. The office-keepers kept insuring anyway, leading to many prosecutions; however, since the profits were higher than the fines, business continued to thrive. One person was fined fifteen hundred pounds in 1784, and he sued in 1785 to get that money back from the sheriff who had seized it from his belongings. The case was heard in the Court of King’s Bench and ended in a nearly immediate dismissal. In February 1793, the Lottery Commissioners decided to curb insurance by stating that only clerks from licensed offices known to the Commissioners could record numbers. No slips were to be sent out; instead, one clerk would write the numbers in one book; Steel’s list of lottery numbers was to be canceled, with compensation provided for it; and the magistrates resolved to arrest anyone suspicious seen taking down early numbers. Yet in 1796, there was a group of swindlers who took lottery insurance, and this gambling among the upper and middle classes escalated to an unbelievable degree, causing distressing consequences for many respectable private families.

The insurance offices in London numbered over four hundred. To many of them persons were attached called Morocco men, who went from house to house among their customers, or attended in the back parlours of public-houses, for the purpose of making insurances. It was calculated that at these offices (exclusive of what was done at the licensed offices) insurances were made to the extent of eight hundred thousand pounds, in premiums, during the[462] Irish Lottery, and above one million during the English, upon which it was calculated that the insurers made from fifteen to twenty-five per cent. profit. This confederacy, during the English Lottery of the year 1796, supported about two thousand agents and clerks, and nearly eight thousand Morocco men, “including a considerable number of ruffians and bludgeon men, paid by a general association of the principal proprietors of the establishments, who regularly met in committee in a well-known public-house in Oxford Market, twice or thrice a week during the drawing of the lottery, for the purpose of concerting measures to defeat the exertions of the magistrates by forcibly resisting or bribing the officers of justice.”

The insurance offices in London numbered over four hundred. Many of them employed individuals known as Morocco men, who went door to door among their clients or waited in the back rooms of pubs to arrange insurance policies. It was estimated that at these offices (not including what was done at the licensed offices) insurance premiums amounted to eight hundred thousand pounds during the Irish Lottery, and over one million during the English Lottery, from which it was believed that the insurers made a profit of fifteen to twenty-five percent. This network, during the English Lottery of 1796, employed about two thousand agents and clerks, and nearly eight thousand Morocco men, “including a significant number of thugs and enforcers, funded by a general association of the main owners of the establishments, who regularly met in a well-known pub in Oxford Market, two or three times a week during the lottery draws, to plan ways to undermine the efforts of the magistrates by either forcefully resisting or bribing the law enforcement officers.”

Lotteries were declared by the Parliamentary reports of 1807 to be inseparable from illegal insurances. The reports further state that “the Lottery is so radically vicious, that under no system of regulations which can be devised will it be possible for Parliament to adopt it as an efficient source of revenue, and at the same time divest it of all the evils and calamities of which it has hitherto been so baneful a source.” Among these evils and calamities the Committees of Parliament enumerate that “idleness, dissipation, and poverty were increased,—the most sacred and confidential trusts were betrayed,—domestic comfort was destroyed, madness was often created, suicide itself was produced, and crimes subjecting the perpetrators of them to death were committed.” Sir Nathaniel Conant, who in 1816 was chief magistrate of Bow Street, stated to a committee of the House of Commons that the Lottery was one of the predisposing causes by which the people of the metropolis were vitiated; that it led to theft, to supply losses and disappointments occasioned by speculating on its chances; and that illegal insurances continued to be effected. “There are,” he says, “people in the background, who, having got forty or fifty thousand pounds by that, employ people of the lowest order, and give them a commission[463] for what they bring; there is, a wheel within a wheel.” Another magistrate giving evidence before the same committee, said, “It is a scandal to the Government, thus to excite people to practise the vice of gaming for the purpose of drawing a revenue from their ruin. It is an anomalous proceeding by law to declare gambling infamous; to hunt out petty gamblers in their recesses, and cast them into prison; and by law also to set up the giant gambling of the State Lottery, and encourage persons to resort to it by the most captivating devices which ingenuity uncontrolled by moral rectitude can invent.” This evidence may be regarded as the ultimate cause of the suppression of lotteries, which might have dragged on an existence for a few more years had it not been for the atrocities of the insurance-mongers. We will now turn towards the closing scenes in this eventful drama.

Lotteries were declared by Parliamentary reports in 1807 to be closely linked to illegal insurance practices. The reports further state that “the Lottery is so fundamentally flawed that there is no system of regulations that could make it a viable source of revenue while also removing all the harmful effects it has historically caused.” Among these harmful effects, the Parliamentary Committees listed “an increase in idleness, wastefulness, and poverty; betrayal of the most sacred and confidential trusts; destruction of domestic comfort; frequent madness; instances of suicide; and crimes punishable by death.” Sir Nathaniel Conant, who was the chief magistrate of Bow Street in 1816, told a committee from the House of Commons that the Lottery was a significant factor in corrupting the people of the capital; it led to theft to recover losses and disappointments caused by gambling on its odds, and illegal insurance schemes persisted. “There are,” he said, “people behind the scenes who, having made forty or fifty thousand pounds from this, hire individuals from the lowest classes and pay them a commission for what they bring; there is, a wheel within a wheel.” Another magistrate, giving testimony before the same committee, stated, “It is a disgrace to the Government to encourage people to indulge in the vice of gambling for the purpose of drawing revenue from their ruin. It is contradictory for the law to deem gambling disgraceful, to hunt down petty gamblers and throw them in prison, while also setting up the massive gambling operation of the State Lottery and enticing people to participate with the most alluring techniques that creativity unfettered by moral standards can devise.” This testimony can be seen as a key reason for the ending of lotteries, which might have continued for a few more years if not for the outrages of the insurance dealers. We will now turn to the concluding scenes of this significant saga.

Seldom was human ingenuity more exercised than in giving public notoriety to lottery schemes. The originators or proprietors of lotteries used to employ a number of persons, frequently of considerable literary ability and talent, to attract the public attention by verses, ingenious advertisements, and decoy paragraphs in the newspapers, engaging the attention of the readers by smart allusions to political topics or other matters of interest, which entrapped the unwary into lottery puffs. Thirteen thousand pounds was usually paid into the Exchequer for duties on these and other methods of advertising practised by the lottery people, and some of the agents spent as much as £20,000 in puffing and advertisements. Take the following as a specimen of the puffing which marked the later days of the Lottery:—

Seldom was human creativity more at work than in promoting lottery schemes. The people behind lotteries often hired individuals with strong literary skills to capture public interest through catchy verses, clever ads, and attention-grabbing snippets in newspapers, often referencing political topics or other intriguing issues to lure readers into lottery promotions. Typically, £13,000 was paid into the Exchequer for duties on these and other advertising strategies used by the lottery promoters, and some agents spent as much as £20,000 on promotions and ads. Take the following as an example of the advertising that characterized the later days of the Lottery:—

Before the time of Sir Isaac Newton, various notions were entertained concerning colours. Plato said colour was a flame issuing from bodies, the Indians of America believed the same, and when any person read a letter they believed it spoke, and blessed the paper in proportion as they were moved by it. What emotions would the following billet[464] excite? “The bearer may receive one hundred thousand pounds.” This would make a deep impression on the natives of every country, and may now be realised; for by the present Grand Lottery a single ticket may bestow on the Bearer One Hundred Thousand Pounds.

Before Sir Isaac Newton's time, people had different ideas about colors. Plato thought color was a flame coming from objects, and Native Americans shared this belief. They even thought that when someone read a letter, it came to life, and they would bless the paper based on how it affected them. What feelings would the following note[464] evoke? “The bearer may receive one hundred thousand pounds.” This would deeply impact people in every country, and it's now possible; through the current Grand Lottery, a single ticket can grant the bearer one hundred thousand pounds.

Here is another of the same ingenious description, which kept the trap constantly baited for the unsuspecting:—

Here is another example of the same clever description, which kept the trap constantly baited for the unsuspecting:—

Duel.—On Friday last a meeting took place near Plymouth, between Capt. G—— and Lieut. R——, both of the Royal Navy, when, after exchanging shots, happily without effect, the seconds interfered and amicably adjusted the dispute. The following is said to have been the cause of the duel:—Lieut. R—— had dreamt three successive nights that a certain number would be a prize of £3000, in the ensuing lottery, which he mentioned to Captain G——, but never intimated any intention of having that ticket; he, however, wrote up to his agent in London to procure it, who found the Captain was beforehand with him, as he had got it the day before, and refused to give it up. By the intercession of the seconds, it is settled that they are each to have half the ticket, and as they are both very meritorious officers, we sincerely wish they may have one of the numerous Capital Prizes with which the scheme abounds.

Duel.—Last Friday, there was a meeting near Plymouth between Capt. G—— and Lieut. R——, both of the Royal Navy. They exchanged shots, luckily without injury, until their seconds stepped in to resolve the conflict amicably. The cause of the duel is said to be this: Lieut. R—— had dreamt for three nights in a row that a specific number would win £3000 in the upcoming lottery. He mentioned this to Captain G——, but never suggested he wanted that ticket. However, he contacted his agent in London to get it, only to find out that the Captain had already bought it the day before and wouldn't sell it. Thanks to the mediation of their seconds, it was agreed that they would each have half of the ticket. Since both are commendable officers, we genuinely hope they win one of the many large prizes available in the lottery.

The most stupendous efforts were made to promote the success of the last lottery, which, however, languished sadly. The price of tickets was arbitrarily raised, to induce a belief that they were in great demand, “at the very moment when,” says Hone, writing immediately afterwards, “their sale was notoriously at a stand; and the lagging attention of the public of the metropolis was endeavoured to be quickened by all sorts of stratagems to the 18th of July, as the very last chance that would occur in England of gaining ‘Six 30,000l. besides other Capitals,’ which it was positively affirmed were ‘all to be drawn’ on that fatal day.” Besides the dispersion of innumerable bills and aspersions on Government for extinguishing the Lottery, those most interested in its preservation caused London and the suburbs to be paraded by a most magnificent procession, in which was a band of music which played to attract attention, and then a man stepped forward, and ringing a bell, announced the[465] death of the Lottery. Cartloads of bills were showered down areas and thrust under doors, and no effort was spared to make the end crown the work of centuries.

The biggest efforts were made to promote the success of the last lottery, which, unfortunately, struggled badly. The price of tickets was raised for no good reason to create the illusion of high demand, “at the very moment when,” says Hone, writing shortly after, “their sale was clearly stagnant; and the waning interest of the public in the city was attempted to be revived by all sorts of tricks until July 18th, as the very last chance to win ‘Six 30,000l. along with other big prizes,’ which it was claimed were ‘all to be drawn’ on that crucial day.” In addition to distributing countless flyers and criticizing the Government for shutting down the Lottery, those most invested in its continuation organized a grand parade through London and the suburbs, complete with a band to attract attention. Then, a man stepped forward, ringing a bell to announce the[465] end of the Lottery. Cartloads of flyers were dumped in doorways and pushed under doors, and every effort was made to ensure the finale was worthy of centuries of work.

Chief among the office-keepers of the period was a Mr T. Bish—one of whose earlier prospectuses we present in exact facsimile—who showered millions of bills and miles of doggerel verse upon London just before the final draw took place. He had been a considerable adept in the art of puffing by means of the mock news-paragraphs to which reference has just been made, one of his best being that which follows:—

Chief among the office-holders of the time was a Mr. T. Bish—one of whose earlier prospectuses we present in exact replica—who flooded London with millions of flyers and miles of bad poetry just before the final drawing took place. He had mastered the art of promotion through the fake news snippets we just mentioned, one of his best being the one that follows:—

A laughable circumstance occurred at the Opera House a few evenings since. The Honourable Mrs H—— C—— in the confusion that takes place in the lobby on quitting the theatre, dropped her reticule, and was some minutes before she regained it; when on looking at its contents she exclaimed: “I have lost my duplicates!” This created surprise, not that the company had any doubt when the lady pledged her word, but they thought she had pledged her jewels. However, on enquiry, it was found that the lost duplicates were Two Tickets of one number (which she had purchased that evening) in the Lottery to be drawn the next Tuesday; luckily she soon after found them, and anticipates getting £20,000, as she had procured them at Bish’s well-known office, Charing Cross.

A funny situation happened at the Opera House a few nights ago. The Honorable Mrs. H—— C——, in the chaos of leaving the theater, dropped her purse and took a few minutes to recover it. When she looked inside and realized what was missing, she exclaimed, “I’ve lost my duplicates!” This surprised everyone, not because they doubted her word, but they thought she referred to her jewelry. However, upon investigation, it turned out that the lost duplicates were two tickets of the same number (which she had bought that evening) for the lottery that would be drawn the following Tuesday. Fortunately, she found them shortly after and is looking forward to winning £20,000, as she had purchased them at Bish’s famous office in Charing Cross.

If U  R

If you are

man struggling to get through the world or surrounded by crosses
or if you wish to lay
by a Fortune for your
children
go to Bish or his agents

WHO MAY MAKE YOU

WHO CAN MAKE YOU

independent and above the frowns of the world

By the purchase of a Ticket or Share in the New Lottery, to be all drawn in Two Days, 5th and 18th OCTOBER. Two of £20,000, Two of £10,000, &c. All Sterling Money. All the 4500 Tickets drawn the First Day are sure to be Prizes.

By buying a Ticket or Share in the New Lottery, which will be drawn in two days, on October 5th and October 18th. Two prizes of £20,000, two prizes of £10,000, etc. All in Sterling Money. All 4500 Tickets drawn on the First Day are guaranteed to be Prizes.

Two of £10,000 in the First Quarter of an Hour. Only 7600 Tickets.

Two of £10,000 in the First Quarter of an Hour. Only 7,600 Tickets.

(See the Scheme.)

(Check out the Scheme.)

If you are a man struggling to get through the world, or surrounded by crosses; or if you wish to lay by a Fortune for your Children, go to BISH or his Agents, who may make you independent, and above the frowns of the world.

If you're a man trying to navigate the world, or feeling burdened; or if you want to set aside wealth for your children, visit BISH or his agents, who can help you become independent and rise above the challenges of the world.

Tickets and Shares are selling by

Tickets and shares are being sold by

BISH

BISH

CONTRACTOR
FOR ANOTHER LOTTERY

CONTRACTOR
FOR ANOTHER LOTTERY

4, CORNHILL, & 9, CHARING-CROSS, London, and by
ALL HIS AGENTS IN THE COUNTRY

4, CORNHILL, & 9, CHARING-CROSS, London, and by
ALL HIS AGENTS ACROSS THE COUNTRY

Facsimile of advertisement

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ of ads

It would be impossible here to give the many specimens which have been preserved of Bish’s handiwork just before the close of the lotteries, but from an embarras de richesses we select the following:—

It would be impossible to showcase all the examples of Bish’s work preserved just before the lotteries ended, but from an embarras de richesses, we select the following:—

BISH.

Bish.

The Last Man.

The Last Human.

In reminding his best friends, the public, that the State Lottery will be drawn this day, 3d May, Bish acquaints them that it is the very last but one that will ever take place in this kingdom; and he is

In reminding his close friends and the public that the State Lottery will be drawn today, May 3rd, Bish informs them that it is the very last one that will ever happen in this kingdom; and he is

THE LAST CONTRACTOR

LAST CONTRACTOR

whose name will appear singly before the public, as the very last will be a coalition of all the usual contractors. Bish being “the last man” who appears singly, has been particularly anxious to make an excellent scheme, and flatters himself the one he has the honour to submit must meet universal approbation.

whose name will appear individually before the public, as the very last will be a coalition of all the usual contractors. Bish being “the last man” who appears individually, has been particularly eager to create an excellent plan and believes that the one he has the honor to present will be universally approved.

[466]

[466]

At the back of the bill were some verses after the style of the “Cajolery Duet.” This is one of them:—

At the end of the bill were some verses in the style of the "Cajolery Duet." Here is one of them:—

To-day, or Not at all.

Today, or Not at all.

Run Neighbours, Run!

Run, Neighbors, Run!

Run, neighbors, run! Today is the Lottery draw,
You might still be in luck if you're short on cash; Rhino, as we all know, will address the flaws of poverty. With that, you'll find no one to serve you slowly. The ministers in Parliament about lotteries have rung the bell,
And have announced from Cooper’s Hall that Lady Luck will soon drive them out; The Blue-coat boys will no longer shout that they've won a jackpot!
Nor run as if they would break their necks to tell the news to Lucky Bish. Run, neighbors, run, &c.

Although the last lottery was expected to take place on the 18th of July, it was not until the 18th of October that the closing scene in an eventful history took place. For this Bish, among many other handbills, produced the following:—

Although the last lottery was expected to take place on the 18th of July, it wasn't until the 18th of October that the final scene in an eventful history occurred. For this Bish, along with many other flyers, produced the following:—

THE AMBULATOR’S GUIDE
To the Land of Plenty.

The Walker's Guide
To the Land of Abundance.

By Purchasing a TICKET
in the present Lottery

By Purchasing a TICKET
in the current Lottery

You may reap a golden harvest in Cornhill, and pick up the bullion in Silver-street, have an interest in Bank-buildings, possess a Mansion-house in Golden-square, and an estate like a Little Britain; never be in Hungerford-market, but all your life continue a Mayfair.

You can enjoy a golden success in Cornhill, gather wealth in Silver Street, have a stake in Bank buildings, own a mansion in Golden Square, and have a property like Little Britain; never find yourself in Hungerford Market, but spend your life in Mayfair.

By Purchasing a HALF,

By Buying a HALF,

You need never be confined within London Wall, but become the proprietor of many a Long Acre; represent a Borough or an Aldermanbury, and have a share in Threadneedle-street.

You never have to feel trapped within London Wall, but can own several properties on Long Acre; represent a Borough or an Aldermanbury, and have a stake in Threadneedle-street.

By Purchasing a QUARTER,

By buying a QUARTER,

Your affairs need never be in Crooked-lane, nor your legs in Fetter-lane; you may avoid Paper-buildings, steer clear of the King’s Bench, and defy the Marshalsea; if your heart is in Love-lane you may soon get into Sweeting’s Alley, obtain your lover’s consent for Matrimony-place, and always live in a High-street.

Your dealings don’t have to be in Crooked-lane, nor your legs in Fetter-lane; you can stay away from Paper-buildings, avoid the King’s Bench, and ignore the Marshalsea; if your heart is in Love-lane, you can quickly move into Sweeting’s Alley, get your lover’s agreement for Matrimony-place, and always live on a High-street.

By Purchasing an EIGHTH,

By Buying an EIGHTH,

You may secure plenty of provision for Swallow-street; finger the Cole in Coleman-street; and may never be troubled with Chancery-lane. You may cast anchor in Cable-street; set up business in a Fore-street; and need never be confined within a Narrow-wall.

You can stock up on a lot of supplies for Swallow-street; check out the Coal in Coleman-street; and you might never deal with Chancery-lane. You can drop your anchor in Cable-street; start a business in Fore-street; and you never have to be stuck inside a Narrow-wall.

By Purchasing a SIXTEENTH,

By Buying a SIXTEENTH,

You may live frugal in Cheapside; get merry in Liquorpond-street; soak your hide in Leather-lane; be a wet sole in Shoe-lane; turn maltster in Beer-lane, or hammer away in Smithfield.

You can live cheap in Cheapside; have fun in Liquorpond Street; relax in Leather Lane; be a down-and-out in Shoe Lane; become a malt maker in Beer Lane, or toil away in Smithfield.

In short, life must indeed be a Long-lane if it’s without a turning. Therefore, if you are wise, without Mincing the matter, go Pall-mall to Cornhill or Charing-cross, and enroll your name in the Temple of Fortune,

In short, life must really be a Long-lane if it doesn’t have a turning. So, if you’re smart, without Mincing the issue, go Pall-mall to Cornhill or Charing-cross, and sign up at the Temple of Fortune,

BISH’S.

BISH's.

ADVERTISING THE LAST STATE LOTTERY DRAWN IN ENGLAND. 1826.

ADVERTISING THE LAST STATE LOTTERY DRAWN IN ENGLAND. 1826.

[467]

[467]

Advertisements in the newspapers were not, however, plentiful. The office-keepers seemed to prefer the pomp and circumstance of processions and bands and funeral speeches, to the cold respectability which was just then part of the newspaper system. Bish had many eccentric illustrations in his handbills, and some of his verses went beyond even the bounds of eccentricity. As the eventful day approached, the efforts in the handbill line redoubled, and people were provided with waste paper for an indefinite period; but there was little to notice in the columns of any of the chief journals. On October 7, 1826, a public notice appeared on the front page of the Times, in company with the advertisements of Swift and Eyton, two office-keepers; but whether it was placed there by order of the “powers that be,” or was in the interests of the dealers, we must leave our readers to judge for themselves. The latter seems most probable:—

Advertisements in the newspapers weren’t very common. The office managers seemed to prefer the show and ceremony of parades, bands, and funeral speeches to the cold professionalism that was part of the newspaper system at that time. Bish had many quirky illustrations in his flyers, and some of his verses were even more out there than expected. As the big day got closer, the efforts in creating flyers picked up, and people were stocked up on scrap paper for a while; however, there wasn’t much to find in the columns of any major newspapers. On October 7, 1826, a public notice appeared on the front page of the Times, alongside the ads for Swift and Eyton, two office managers; but whether it was placed there by order of the "powers that be" or was for the benefit of the advertisers is something we’ll let our readers decide for themselves. The latter seems most likely:—

PUBLIC NOTICE.—The Licenses granted by 4th Geo. IV. cap. 60, to the Lottery-office-keepers, to sell and divide into shares State Lottery Tickets, will cease and determine on Wednesday the 18th of this month, when all the Six Prizes of £30,000, and every other prize, amounting to £389,000, must be decided, and all Lotteries end in this kingdom. Government, having already given extra time for the sale of tickets, will not grant an hour beyond the 18th instant.

PUBLIC NOTICE. —The licenses granted by 4th Geo. IV. cap. 60 to lottery office holders to sell and share State Lottery Tickets will end on Wednesday the 18th of this month. On that day, all six prizes of £30,000 and every other prize totaling £389,000 will be determined, and all lotteries in this country will finish. The government, having already allowed extra time for ticket sales, will not extend the deadline beyond the 18th.

[468]

[468]

Hazard was the rather appropriate name of another promoter whose advertisements are published just at this time; but they are, as are the others, small and unpretentious when in the newspapers, and are only noticeable as records of the finishing days of the great State Lottery. In the Times of October 13 there is this notice, which was repeated on the 16th and 17th, on the last-named date having the word “to-morrow” inserted instead of “next Wednesday:”—

Hazard was a fitting name for another promoter whose ads are being published right now; however, they are, like the others, small and unassuming in the newspapers, only standing out as reminders of the final days of the big State Lottery. In the Times of October 13, there's this notice, which was repeated on the 16th and 17th, with the word “tomorrow” added in place of “next Wednesday” on the last date:

DRAWING of the LOTTERY.—Whereas it is maliciously asserted by an Anonymous Correspondent in the Morning Chronicle of this day, that application would be made to the Lords of the Treasury for a further Postponement of the Lottery, the Public are most unequivocally and positively assured by the Contractors that no such application has been made, nor even contemplated; but on the contrary, it is absolutely and inevitably determined by Government, that this last of all lotteries shall and must be decided NEXT WEDNESDAY, 18th instant.

DDRAWING of the LOTTERY.—It has been maliciously claimed by an anonymous writer in today's Morning Chronicle that a request will be made to the Lords of the Treasury for another delay of the Lottery. The Contractors assure the public very clearly and firmly that no such request has been made or even considered; on the contrary, the Government has absolutely and definitely decided that this final lottery will be conducted NEXT WEDNESDAY, the 18th.

On the day before the drawing, the advertisements in the Times showed that great apathy existed, and that the tickets had not gone off well, as the office-keepers had evidently many yet left on hand. Even the advertisements have a dispirited appearance:—

On the day before the drawing, the ads in the Times showed that there was a lot of indifference, and that the tickets hadn’t sold well, as the office-keepers clearly had many still on hand. Even the ads had a discouraging look:—

FINISH of LOTTERIES.—SWIFT and Co. respectfully inform the Public that the last and only day of drawing the STATE LOTTERY is Wednesday the 18th of this month, when 6 prizes of 30,000l. and all the other capitals in the scheme will be determined. Every ticket will receive 5l. independent of any sum to which it may be entitled. In the last Lottery containing 30,000l. prizes Swift and Co. sold two out of four of them at their offices 11, Poultry; 1, Strand; and 31, Aldgate High-street.

FINISH of LOTTERIES.—SWIFT and Co. kindly inform the public that the final and only day for the STATE LOTTERY drawing is Wednesday the 18th of this month, when 6 prizes of £30,000 and all the other top prizes in the scheme will be awarded. Every ticket will earn £5, regardless of any additional winnings. In the last Lottery with £30,000 prizes, Swift and Co. sold two out of four of them at their offices located at 11 Poultry; 1 Strand; and 31 Aldgate High Street.

It is almost evident that the Lottery was “played out” on its own merits, and that the interference of Parliament only hastened the end so far as concerns the important events. Another firm of contractors put forth a final appeal thus:—

It’s pretty clear that the Lottery was “played out” based on its own qualities, and that Parliament’s interference just sped up its conclusion regarding the significant events. Another group of contractors made a last appeal so:—

[469]

[469]

THE LAST of ALL, TO-MORROW, 18th October.—J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT, Contractors, most positively assure the Public that—

THE LAST of ALL, TOMORROW, October 18th.—J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT, Contractors, definitely assure the Public that—

To-morrow, Six of 30,000l. must be drawn.
To-morrow, 389,000l. will be decided.
To-morrow, all Lotteries end in this kingdom.

Tomorrow, £30,000 must be drawn.
Tomorrow, £389,000 will be decided.
Tomorrow, all lotteries in this kingdom will end.

To gain a Prize of 30,000l. you must buy THIS DAY.

To win a prize of £30,000, you need to buy TODAY.

Tickets and Shares are selling by J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT, Contractors, 37, Cornhill; 11, Holborn; and 38, Haymarket; who shared and sold 12,478, a prize of 30,000l.; 3,613, 21,055l.; and in the last Lottery, 1,783, a prize of 21,000l.; and 3,925, a prize of 21,000l.

Tickets and shares are available through J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT, Contractors, located at 37 Cornhill, 11 Holborn, and 38 Haymarket. They distributed and sold 12,478, winning a prize of £30,000; 3,613, winning £21,055; and in the last lottery, 1,783, winning £21,000; and 3,925, also winning £21,000.

On the fatal day itself the only noticeable advertisement in the Times is that of Bish, which is the same as had been running for some little time, and which on the 18th of October 1826, with the word “this day,” instead of what had appeared before, stood thus, a specimen of the last newspaper appeal in regard to a forthcoming State lottery:—

On that tragic day, the only noticeable ad in the Times was from Bish, which had been running for a while. On October 18, 1826, it read “this day,” instead of the previous wording, and looked like this—a final newspaper appeal regarding an upcoming State lottery:—

THE inevitable and absolute FINISH of LOTTERIES, THIS DAY.—BISH, in soliciting for the last time the favours of his best friends, the Public, assures them that,

THE inevitable and absolute FINISH of LOTTERIES, THIS DAY.—BISH, in soliciting for the last time the favors of his best friends, the Public, assures them that,

This Day, a Ticket must gain £30,000
This Day, a Half must gain 15,000
This Day a Quarter must gain 7,500
This Day an Eighth must gain 3,750
This Day a Sixteenth must gain 1,875
This Day, all the Six of £30,000 will be drawn, every number decided, and every ticket a Prize.
This Day, 18th instant, all lotteries end for ever.

Tickets and Shares are selling by BISH, Stockbroker, 4, Cornhill, and 9, Charing-cross, who shared and sold, within the last 12 months, 5 prizes of 30,000l. and 9 of 20,000l., and in the very last drawing, 3d of May, No. 1,833 (Class B), 21,000l., and 3,925 (Class A), 21,000l.

Tickets and shares are available from BISH, Stockbroker, located at 4 Cornhill and 9 Charing Cross, who has sold and distributed 5 prizes of £30,000 and 9 prizes of £20,000 in the past year. In the most recent drawing on May 3rd, No. 1,833 (Class B) won £21,000, and No. 3,925 (Class A) also won £21,000.

The following is the record of the last drawing, as published in the Thursday’s papers: “Yesterday afternoon, about half-past six o’clock, that old servant of the State, the lottery, breathed its last, having for a long period of years, ever since the days of Queen Anne, contributed largely[470] towards the public revenue of the country. This event took place at Cooper’s Hall, Basinghall Street; and such was the anxiety on the part of the public to witness the last drawing of the lottery, that great numbers of persons were attracted to the spot, independently of those who had an interest in the proceedings. The gallery of Cooper’s Hall was crowded to excess long before the period fixed for the drawing (five o’clock), and the utmost anxiety was felt by those who had shares in the lottery for the arrival of the appointed hour. The annihilation of lotteries, it will be recollected, was determined on in the session of Parliament before last; and thus a source of revenue, bringing into the treasury the sums of £250,000 and £300,000 per annum will be dried up. This determination on the part of the Legislature is hailed by far the greatest portion of the public with joy, as it will put an end to a system which many believe to have fostered and encouraged the late speculations, the effects of which have been and are still severely felt. A deficiency in the public revenue to the extent of £250,000 annually will, however, be the consequence of the annihilation of lotteries, and it must remain for those who have strenuously supported the putting a stop to lotteries to provide for the deficiency.”—“Although that which ended yesterday was the last, if we are informed correctly the lottery-office keepers have been left with a great number of tickets remaining on their hands—a pretty strong proof that the public in general have now no relish for these schemes.”—“The concourse of persons in Basinghall Street was very great; indeed, the street was almost impassable, and everybody seemed desirous of ascertaining the fortunate numbers. In the gallery the greatest interest was excited, as the various prizes were drawn from the wheel; and as soon as a numbered ticket was drawn from the number wheel, every one looked with anxiety to his share, in order to ascertain if Fortune smiled on him. Only one instance occurred where a prize was drawn and a number held by any individual present. The fortunate person was a little man, who no sooner had learned that his number was a grand prize, than he buttoned up his coat, and coolly walked off without uttering a word. As the drawing proceeded disappointment began to succeed the hopes indulged by those who were present. On their entrance to the hall every face wore a cheerful appearance; but on the termination of the drawing a strong contrast was exhibited, and the features of each were strongly marked with dissatisfaction. The drawing commenced shortly after five o’clock, and ended at twenty minutes past six. The doors of the various lottery offices were also surrounded by persons awaiting the issue of the drawing.”

The following is the record of the last drawing, as published in Thursday’s papers: “Yesterday afternoon, around six-thirty, that old public service, the lottery, came to an end, having contributed significantly to the country’s public revenue for many years, since the time of Queen Anne. This event took place at Cooper’s Hall, Basinghall Street; and the public's eagerness to witness the final drawing drew in large crowds, apart from those with vested interests. The gallery of Cooper’s Hall was packed well before the scheduled drawing time (five o’clock), and those holding shares were particularly anxious for the appointed hour to arrive. It should be remembered that the decision to abolish lotteries was made in the last session of Parliament; thus, a revenue source that brought in £250,000 to £300,000 annually will be eliminated. This legislative decision is welcomed with joy by most of the public, as it will end a system that many believe has fueled the recent speculation, the repercussions of which are still being felt. However, the abolition of lotteries will result in an annual revenue shortfall of £250,000, and it will be left to those who have strongly advocated for the lottery's end to address this gap.” —“Although what ended yesterday was the last, if we're correctly informed, lottery-office keepers are still left with many unsold tickets—a strong indication that the public no longer has an interest in these schemes.” —“The crowd in Basinghall Street was huge; indeed, the street was nearly impossible to navigate, and everyone seemed eager to find out the winning numbers. In the gallery, there was significant excitement as the various prizes were drawn from the wheel; and as soon as a numbered ticket was pulled, everyone anxiously checked their shares to see if luck was on their side. There was only one instance where a prize was drawn with a number held by someone present. The lucky winner was a small man, and as soon as he learned that his number was a grand prize, he buttoned up his coat and calmly walked away without saying a word. As the drawing continued, disappointment began to overshadow the hopes of those in attendance. When they entered the hall, everyone looked cheerful; but by the end of the drawing, their faces showed a stark contrast, clearly marked by dissatisfaction. The drawing started shortly after five o’clock and ended at twenty minutes past six. The doors of various lottery offices were also crowded with people waiting to hear how the drawing turned out.”

THE LAST OF THE LOTTERIES.

THE FINAL LOTTERY.

[471]

[471]

The Times, in a short leader—short and few were the leaders in the Times of that day—published on the Thursday, says: “Yesterday terminated the lotteries in this country—may we say for ever? We know not. Such a result will depend upon the wants of Government, and the morality of its ministers. However, we rejoice at their suspension,—a suspension which we hope we have in some degree assisted in effecting,—yet rejoice with fear. Looking at the Stock Exchange, at the time bargains, and at all the iniquities practised there, we have only to hope that the place of the lotteries may not be supplied by some more mischievous system of knavery. Time was when all the robberies were committed on the king’s highway. The lighting, watching, and general improvement of our roads, have nearly put an end to this practice; but housebreaking has unfortunately taken its place! And yet the people of England is not a gambling people like the French, as is evident from the fate of the last lottery. We have heard that hardly half the tickets were sold; from which it is evident, that the spirit of lottery-gambling was extinct before the system; and if that spirit had not been kept alive by incessant stimuli, it would have expired long ago.”

The Times, in a brief editorial—brief and rare were the editorials in the Times of that time—published on Thursday, states: “Yesterday marked the end of lotteries in this country—can we hope for it to be permanent? We don’t know. Whether it lasts will depend on the needs of the government and the ethics of its officials. Still, we are glad about their suspension—a suspension that we hope we helped bring about—but we rejoice with caution. Looking at the Stock Exchange, at the current trades, and at all the wrongdoings happening there, we can only hope that the end of lotteries won’t be replaced by some even more harmful scheme of deceit. There was a time when all the crimes were committed on the main roads. The lighting, patrolling, and overall improvement of our roads have nearly put a stop to this practice; but unfortunately, burglary has taken its place! Yet, the people of England aren’t a gambling crowd like the French, as shown by the outcome of the last lottery. We’ve heard that barely half the tickets were sold; which clearly indicates that the enthusiasm for lottery gambling had died out long before the system ended; and if that excitement hadn’t been kept alive by constant triggers, it would have faded away long ago.”

[472]

[472]

It may be as well to mention, though it is generally known, that an Act of the 9th and 10th Vict. was passed for legalising Art Union Lotteries within certain limits and under certain conditions. Though our chapter has run over its length, we can hardly conclude without quoting the wise words of Adam Smith on the subject of lotteries. “The chance of gain,” says he, “is by every man more or less overvalued, and the chance of loss is by most men undervalued. . . . The world neither ever saw, or ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery, or one in which the whole gain compensated the whole loss; because the undertaker could make nothing by it. In the State lotteries the tickets are really not worth the price which is paid by the original subscribers, and yet commonly sell in the market for twenty, thirty, and sometimes forty per cent. advance. The vain hope of gaining some of the greatest prizes is the sole cause of this demand. The soberest people scarce look upon it as a folly to pay a small sum for the chance of gaining ten or twenty thousand pounds; though they know that even that small sum is perhaps twenty or thirty per cent. more than the chance is worth. In a lottery in which no prize exceeds twenty pounds, though in other respects it approach much nearer to a perfectly fair one than the common State lotteries, there would not be the same demand for tickets. In order to have a better chance for some of the great prizes, some people purchase several tickets, and others small shares in a still greater number. There is not, however, a more certain proposition in mathematics, than that the more tickets you adventure upon the more likely you are to be a loser. Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer you approach to this certainty.” Though this was written in reference to a state of affairs long past, the lesson is not without value nowadays.

It might be worth mentioning, even though it's generally known, that an Act of the 9th and 10th Vict. was passed to legalize Art Union Lotteries within certain limits and conditions. Although our chapter has exceeded its length, we can hardly wrap up without quoting the wise words of Adam Smith on the topic of lotteries. “The chance of gain,” he says, “is considered more valuable by everyone, and the chance of loss is underestimated by most. . . . The world has never seen, nor will it ever see, a perfectly fair lottery, or one where the total gain equals the total loss; because the organizer would gain nothing from it. In state lotteries, the tickets are really not worth the price paid by the initial subscribers, yet they often sell in the market for twenty, thirty, and sometimes forty percent more. The unrealistic hope of winning some of the biggest prizes is the only reason for this demand. Even the most sensible people hardly see it as foolish to pay a small amount for the chance to win ten or twenty thousand pounds, even though they know that this small sum is probably twenty or thirty percent more than the chance is worth. In a lottery where no prize exceeds twenty pounds, despite being much closer to a perfectly fair one than typical state lotteries, there wouldn’t be the same demand for tickets. To increase their chances for the big prizes, some people buy several tickets, while others buy small shares in even more. However, there is no statement in mathematics more certain than this: the more tickets you gamble on, the more likely you are to lose. Bet on all the tickets in the lottery, and you are guaranteed to lose; and the more tickets you buy, the closer you get to this certainty.” Although this was written about a situation long ago, the lesson remains relevant today.

October 18, 1826, saw the last of the State lotteries, but[473] it was long before the smaller fry were eradicated. Conducted very quietly at first, but after a while their promoters growing bolder, lotteries for clothes, furniture, and, especially at Christmas-time, for food and drink, were openly advertised under the title of “sweeps” up to comparatively recent times. A few police prosecutions about a dozen years back improved these relics of a past day off the face of the earth. There were, however, still left what were called “specs,” which violated both the Betting-House Act and the Lottery Act, and the promoters of the chief of them in turn suffered under the majesty of the law about the period of the raid on the commission agents referred to in a previous chapter. Under the guises of picture and circular sales these turf lotteries are still continued, an advertisement in a sporting paper of June 1874 giving an address in Glasgow, informing all those whom it most concerns that the “East End Circular” has for disposal

October 18, 1826, marked the end of state lotteries, but it took a while before the smaller ones were completely stopped. They started off quietly, but eventually the promoters became bolder, openly advertising lotteries for clothes, furniture, and especially around Christmas for food and drink, under the name “sweeps” until relatively recently. About a dozen years ago, a few police prosecutions helped eliminate these remnants of the past. However, some still existed, known as "specs," which broke both the Betting-House Act and the Lottery Act. The main promoters of these faced legal consequences around the same time as the crackdown on commission agents mentioned in a previous chapter. Disguised as picture and circular sales, these turf lotteries continue to operate, with an advertisement in a sporting paper from June 1874 providing an address in Glasgow, informing those interested that the "East End Circular" has for sale

30,000 circulars, at 1s. each; the profits, about £800, will be distributed on

30,000 circulars, at 1s. each; the profits, around £800, will be distributed on

THE DERBY.

The Derby.

2000 prizes. First, £300.

2000 prizes. First prize, £300.

This circular needs no recommendation. It is a fortune to all who invest in it. The winners of all the large races have been sent in it. Every purchaser has a fair chance of securing the £200. For circulars, 1s. each, apply at once to E. Jones, 128, Renfield Street, Glasgow, or in person to any of his well-known agents.

This circular comes highly recommended. It's a great opportunity for anyone who invests in it. The winners of all the big races have been included. Every buyer has a decent shot at winning the £200. For circulars, 1s. each, contact E. Jones at 128 Renfield Street, Glasgow, or visit any of his well-known agents in person.

Then follows a list of names of people living in various parts of the kingdom who are empowered to sell the circulars. Within the past twelvemonth certain small papers which added to their circulation by the presentation of coupons entitling the holders to shares in lotteries for prizes of all descriptions, received solemn warning from the Home Office, and had to discontinue their projects. That this was wise, considering the innocence of the[474] arrangement, we do not think; that it was not impartial, the notice from which we have just quoted proves. For the Lottery Act extends to Scotland, even if the Betting Act does not.[45]

Then comes a list of names of people living in different parts of the kingdom who are allowed to sell the circulars. In the past year, certain small papers that increased their circulation by offering coupons for lottery shares with prizes of all kinds received a serious warning from the Home Office and had to stop their initiatives. We don't think it was wise considering the harmlessness of the arrangement; the notice we just quoted shows it wasn't impartial. The Lottery Act applies to Scotland, even if the Betting Act doesn't.


[40] Stow.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Store.

[41] Stow’s Annals.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Stow’s Chronicles.

[42] Baker’s Chronicle.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Baker’s Journal.

[43] Whereas, some give out that they could never receive their Books after they were drawn in the first Lottery, the Author declares, and it will be attested, that of seven hundred Prizes that were drawn there were not six remaining Prizes that suffered with his in the Fire; for the Drawing being on the 10th of May, 1665, the Office did then continue open for the Delivery of the same (though the Contagion much raged) until the latter End of July following; and opened again, to attend the Delivery, in April, 1666, whither Persons repaired daily for their Prizes, and continued open until the Fire.

[43] Whereas, some claim they could never get their Books back after the first Lottery, the Author states, and it will be confirmed, that out of the seven hundred Prizes drawn, only six remaining Prizes were lost along with his in the Fire. The Drawing took place on May 10, 1665, and the Office remained open for delivering those Prizes (even though the Plague was widespread) until the end of July that year; it reopened in April 1666 to distribute the Prizes, where people came daily to collect theirs, and it stayed open until the Fire.

[44] Examiner, October 22, 1826.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Examiner, October 22, 1826.

[45] Since the above was written the Betting-House Extension Act of 1874 has become law, and, curiously enough, has caused the cessation of a procedure which was rendered illegal by an Act passed nearly fifty years before, a fact which our detectives with proverbial dulness were unable to discover. This was perhaps because there was nothing to be got by the discovery.

[45] Since the above was written, the Betting-House Extension Act of 1874 has become law and, interestingly, has led to the end of a process that was made illegal by an Act passed almost fifty years earlier—a fact that our detectives, known for their typical dullness, failed to uncover. This might be because there was nothing to gain from the discovery.


[475]

[475]

CHAPTER 17.
Marriage Ads and Agencies.

It will not be at all out of the way to assume that as long as the world has been populated it has possessed people anxious to get married. Marriage is the correct condition of life; indeed we have the best authority for regarding it as one of the principal reasons of our being, and so there is no need for wonder that many of the best-known customs of the ancients bear upon marital rites and festivities. Marriage comes in due course to the majority, male and female; but there are, naturally, those who have no desire for it, and again those who have to make effort to obtain it. There are various ways of exhibiting one’s wares and attractions, and chief among them comes the object of our attention—advertising. Of late years there seems, in addition to the ordinary courses open to advertisers, to have been special arrangements made on behalf of the unmatched, who are allowed to express their desires and recommendations free, gratis, for nothing, in the columns of certain cheap periodicals—the described being all beauty or virtue, or both, when not possessed of capital. Would-be lovers are not generally deficient in either particular when the circulating medium is thrown into the balance as well. So that by means of the weekly publications referred to, marriage seems a much better commercial arrangement than that mentioned by a modern author, who, speaking of the Babylonians, says that “Herodotus records one of their customs, which, whether in jest or earnest, he declares to be the wisest he[476] ever heard of. This was their wife-auction, by which they managed to find husbands for all their young women. The greatest beauty was put up first, and knocked down to the highest bidder; then the next in the order of comeliness—and so on to the damsel who was equidistant between beauty and plainness, who was given away gratis. Then the least plain was put up, and knocked down to the gallant who would marry her for the smallest consideration,—and so on till even the plainest was got rid of to some cynical worthy who decidedly preferred lucre to looks. By transferring to the scale of the ill-favoured the prices paid for the fair, beauty was made to endow ugliness, and the rich man’s taste was the poor man’s gain.”

It’s reasonable to think that as long as people have lived, there have always been those eager to get married. Marriage is the proper state of life; in fact, we have strong reasons to see it as one of the main purposes of our existence, so it’s not surprising that many well-known traditions from ancient times focus on marriage ceremonies and celebrations. Most people, both men and women, eventually get married; however, there are naturally some who don’t want to, and others who have to put in effort to find a partner. There are different ways to showcase one’s qualities and appeal, and the most important among these is advertising. Recently, it seems that beyond standard methods, there have been special arrangements made for singles, allowing them to express their desires and recommendations for free in certain inexpensive magazines—often describing themselves as all beauty or virtue, or both, even if they lack financial resources. Would-be lovers usually aren’t lacking in either aspect when money is also considered. Thus, through the weekly publications mentioned, marriage appears to be a much more favorable arrangement than the one referred to by a contemporary author, who, discussing the Babylonians, states that “Herodotus records one of their customs, which, whether in jest or earnest, he claims to be the wisest he ever heard of. This was their wife-auction, through which they managed to find husbands for all their young women. The most beautiful would be first, sold to the highest bidder; then the next most attractive, and so on until they reached the young woman who was average in looks, who would be given away for free. Next, the least plain would be auctioned off, sold to the man willing to marry her for the smallest price—and so forth, until even the plainest woman was given to a cynical man who notably preferred money to looks. By adjusting the values for the less attractive to match those paid for the beautiful, beauty essentially funded ugliness, turning the rich man’s taste into the poor man’s advantage.”

But in the representations of the wistful lovers who confide their secrets to certain editors, ugliness has no existence among the ladies, vice or laziness is unknown to the gentlemen, and money seems plentiful with both, so that it remains quite a mystery how any of the intending suitors have managed to evade Hymen for any length of time, so superior are they to the commonplace people whom we are in the habit of seeing settled down in sober domesticity. A writer in a miscellany a few years back catalogued a lot of the claimants for matrimony, first in the list being Sincere Polly, who describes herself as dark, high-spirited, and handsome; next is Evangelina, eighteen, handsome and accomplished, who will have £300 a year when of age; Fanny declares herself to be a sweet-tempered and pretty girl, just seventeen; Annie Everard endeavours to attract by her modesty in saying that she is eighteen, and not beautiful, only pretty; and Viola offers inducement in describing herself as seventeen, and Irish, merry, lively, and inclined to be stout. These ask for the carte-de-visite of a Captain Compass who advertised previously. Following these young and lovely females comes Blanche, who describes herself as a slight, graceful girl of eighteen, with dreamy violet eyes and golden rippling hair,[477] shading a face of rare and delicate loveliness. She is a great admirer of soldiers, a lover of the chase, and all field sports. This enchanting creature is very anxious for Albert’s carte-de-visite. Who is Albert, and what has he done, that he of all men should be singled out to carry off this flower of creation? “But,” says the writer to whom we have referred, who seems quite unable to swallow the description, in which he is very different from ourselves, as we would never contradict a lady, “the morbid curiosity of the human mind goes a step farther, and seeks to picture Blanche—not the Blanche of Blanche’s vivid imagination, but Blanche herself. Two alternatives present themselves. She may be a stout little milliner in a Camden-town shop; or—horribile dictu!—a waggish cook, with a turned-up nose, underdone arms and cheeks to match. The ideal Blanche fades away as we contemplate these possibilities. We pity Albert. We hope he will not waste his hardly-earned money in the vanities of photography, and cordially wish him a comfortable married state with a more earthly maiden, now that this too celestial vision dies back into dream-land. There is but one young person who approaches the ideal Blanche; and she calls herself ‘Sparkling with Gems.’ She is (on her own authority, be it always understood) a young, pretty, and accomplished Irish girl, with blue eyes, pearly teeth, and a wealth of golden ringlets, who is considered very stylish and graceful-looking, is of a loving disposition, and will have an income in her own right, and she wishes for the carte-de-visite of a young gentleman, who must be tall, dark, and handsome, of good family and position, and either of the military or medical profession. ‘Kill or cure’ is this young lady’s principle in choosing a husband; but we should say that so attractive a bride, with a wealth of golden ringlets, an income in her own right, and what not, ought certainly to fall into the hands (or arms) of a dashing young officer, whose want of an income in his own right is generally the chief drawback from the amenities of his[478] profession.” Constance is already possessed of £500 a year, and limits her hopes to a husband with £200 of income. But he must be fair, of the middle height, and nice-looking. Eunice has no money at all; but she has very dark hair and eyes, rosy complexion, and is domestic. Here again our cynic shows his scepticism: “Had the indefinite article been placed before the last word in her catalogue of qualities, the description would probably have been complete.” Poor Jane says: “Why should I become a nun against my wish, merely because my father wishes it? I suppose he wishes to get married again, and I am in his way. I can say without flattery that I am near twenty, have a very graceful figure, very handsome, and between the medium height, a first-class pianist, and capable of making any gentleman a good wife. I possess no money. I am a lady, very domestic, and am quite certain that I am worthy of a good husband.” Poor Jane! her notions of the descriptive are rather vague, and so are her ideas of what is a lady. But as we once knew a writer of stories for the periodical in which her description appears who considered it beneath the dignity of a gentleman to spell properly, Jane is, perhaps, quite right in her estimate of herself according to the code under which she was instructed.

But in the stories of the longing lovers who share their secrets with certain editors, there's no such thing as ugliness among the ladies, and the gentlemen show no signs of vice or laziness. Money seems to be abundant for both, making it a mystery how any of the hopeful suitors have managed to avoid marriage for so long, considering they are so much better than the ordinary people we’re used to seeing in stable domestic lives. A writer in a magazine a few years ago listed several candidates for matrimony, starting with Sincere Polly, who describes herself as dark, spirited, and attractive; next is Evangelina, eighteen, gorgeous and accomplished, who will have £300 a year when she comes of age; Fanny considers herself a sweet-tempered and pretty girl, just seventeen; Annie Everard tries to attract attention by modestly claiming she's eighteen and only pretty, not beautiful; and Viola describes herself as seventeen, Irish, cheerful, lively, and somewhat plump. These ladies are asking for the photo of Captain Compass, who advertised earlier. After these young and lovely women is Blanche, who calls herself a slender, graceful girl of eighteen, with dreamy violet eyes and golden, flowing hair, framing a face of rare and delicate beauty. She's a big fan of soldiers, loves hunting, and enjoys all field sports. This enchanting young woman is very eager for Albert’s photo. Who is Albert, and why does he, of all men, stand out to win this gem of a woman? “But,” says the writer we've mentioned, who seems unable to accept the description, which is quite different from us as we would never disagree with a lady, “the curious nature of the human mind goes further, trying to picture Blanche—not the Blanche of her vivid imagination, but Blanche herself. Two possibilities arise. She might be a plump little milliner in a Camden-town shop; or—horribile dictu!—a humorous cook with a turned-up nose, undercooked arms, and matching cheeks. The ideal Blanche fades as we consider these options. We feel for Albert. We hope he doesn’t waste his hard-earned money on the frivolities of photography and sincerely wish him a comfortable marriage with a more down-to-earth woman now that this too heavenly vision fades back into dreams. There’s only one young woman who gets close to the ideal Blanche, who calls herself ‘Sparkling with Gems.’ She claims (and it must always be understood it's on her own authority) to be a young, pretty, and accomplished Irish girl with blue eyes, pearly teeth, and plenty of golden ringlets, who is seen as very fashionable and graceful, has a loving nature, and will have her own income. She wants the photo of a young gentleman who must be tall, dark, and handsome, from a good family, either military or medical. ‘Kill or cure’ is this young lady’s motto in choosing a husband; but we would say that such an appealing bride, with all those golden ringlets, an income of her own, and more, should definitely end up with a dashing young officer, whose lack of a personal income is usually the main drawback of his profession.” Constance already has £500 a year and looks for a husband with an income of £200. But he must be fair-skinned, of average height, and good-looking. Eunice has no money at all, but she has very dark hair and eyes, a rosy complexion, and is home-loving. Again, our cynic expresses skepticism: “If the indefinite article had been placed before the last word in her list of qualities, the description would probably have been complete.” Poor Jane says: “Why should I be forced to become a nun against my will just because my father wants it? I guess he wants to get remarried, and I’m in his way. I can say without flattery that I’m nearly twenty, have a very graceful figure, am quite attractive, and of medium height, a first-class pianist, and capable of being a good wife to any gentleman. I have no money. I’m a lady, very home-loving, and I’m sure I deserve a good husband.” Poor Jane! Her understanding of description is quite vague, and so are her ideas about what a lady is. But since we once knew a writer of stories for the magazine where her description appears who thought it beneath a gentleman's dignity to spell properly, Jane may, perhaps, be quite right in her self-assessment according to the standards she was taught.

Some of the gentlemen in this same catalogue deserve attention. As a rule, they seem to consider “proputty” the best qualification, though if other advantages are thrown in they will not be objected to. Let us pick out from the herd Gauntlet, who says that he is a gentleman of good standing in society, a widower, forty, but looks much younger, of middle height, highly respected in his own neighbourhood, and is possessed of upwards of £8000 at command; he wishes to meet with a lady younger than himself, and with means equal to his own. Then there is R. S., who has £100 a year, is of like opinion as to the proportion of money his bride ought to bring, and would like to become acquainted with a young lady of similar[479] income, or one who has a talent for elocution or singing. Our author, after exhausting his list, admits that the young gentlemen who advertise in the penny journals are far less mercenary than the young ladies. “The latter betray quite a rapacity with regard to a good income, are very explicit about it, and put down in plain figures the precise sum which they think their charms are worth. By what means the acquaintanceship begun in these advertising columns is continued and completed we are unable to say. As a preliminary the editor kindly undertakes the charge of photographs; but of the steps by which the contracting parties advance to the goal of their wishes we know nothing. We should think that the proprietors of the journal ought to keep an attorney on the premises, to see that the gentlemen who offer £8000 are acting in good faith.” Had further inspection been given to the page in which these requisitions appear, the critic would have learned that, when second steps are taken, communication is made through a newspaper belonging to the same proprietary as the penny journal, and would have seen that “all advertisements must be prepaid.” But we are beginning at the wrong end, and must retrace our steps for the purpose of renewing acquaintance with our old friend Houghton, the father of English advertising, who, in his Collection of July 19, 1695, says:—

Some of the gentlemen in this catalog deserve our attention. Generally, they seem to think that "wealth" is the best qualification, although they won't mind if other advantages are added. Let's highlight Gauntlet, who claims to be a well-respected gentleman, a widower aged forty but looks much younger, of average height, highly regarded in his local community, and has over £8000 at his disposal. He wants to meet a lady younger than himself with finances similar to his. Then there's R. S., who earns £100 a year, shares the same belief about the amount of money his bride should bring, and would like to get to know a young lady with a similar income or one who has skills in elocution or singing. Our author, after going through his list, acknowledges that the young men who advertise in penny journals are much less money-minded than the young women. “The latter show quite a greed regarding a good income, are very upfront about it, and clearly list the exact amount they believe their attractiveness is worth. We can't say how the relationships that start in these ads continue and develop. As a first step, the editor kindly takes care of photographs; however, we know nothing about how the involved parties progress towards their goals. We think that the publishers of the journal should have a lawyer on-site to ensure that the gentlemen claiming to have £8000 are being honest.” If the critic had looked further into the page containing these requests, he would have found that when more steps are taken, communication is made through a newspaper owned by the same company as the penny journal, and would have noticed that “all advertisements must be prepaid.” But we are starting at the wrong point and need to go back to reconnect with our old friend Houghton, the father of English advertising, who, in his Collection of July 19, 1695, says:—

*** I have undertaken to advertize all sorts of Things that are honourable, and what follows is not otherwise, and I am well paid for it:

*** I have taken on the task of promoting all kinds of things that are respectable, and what comes next is no exception, and I am compensated well for it:

A Gentleman about 30 Years of Age, that says he has a Very Good Estate, would willingly Match Himself to some Young Gentlewoman that has a Fortune of £3000 or thereabout, And he will make Settlement to content.

Unchanged. A Gentleman about 30 years old, who claims to have a Great Estate, is eager to Match himself with a Young Lady who has a fortune of £3000 or thereabouts. He will make a settlement to satisfy.

When it shall appear that I am candid and no otherwise concerned than in bringing two Elderly Persons to a Treaty; and the nine Days Wonder and Laughter (usually attending new Things) are over, and that Nobody shall know Anything of the Matter, but where I shall reasonably believe they are in good earnest; then ’tis probable such Advertisements may prove very useful.

When it becomes clear that I am honest and only focused on bringing two older people to an agreement, and after the excitement and laughter that usually comes with new things has passed, and no one knows anything about it except for those I genuinely believe are serious, then it’s likely that such announcements could be very helpful.

A Young Man about 25 Years of Age, in a very good Trade, and[480] whose Father will make him worth £1000, would willingly embrace a suitable Match. He has been brought up a Dissenter with his Parents, and is a sober Man.

A Young Man around 25 years old, in a good profession, and[480] whose father will provide him with £1000, is eager to find a suitable Match. He was raised as a Dissenter by his parents and is a responsible man.

It seems the public either did not believe in the reality of these advertisements, or were suspicious of the advertisers, for a few weeks after the editor thought necessary to declare again:—

It seems the public either didn't believe these advertisements were real or were suspicious of the advertisers, so a few weeks later, the editor deemed it necessary to declare again:—

*** These Proposals for Matches are real, and I do promise to manage them and such like with so much Secresie and Prudence that none shall discourse with their best Friends, with more Confidence of Fidelity than with me, let them be of what Rank soever.

*** These match proposals are genuine, and I promise to handle them and similar matters with such secrecy and care that no one can discuss them with their closest friends more confidently than with me, no matter their social status.

Notwithstanding these honest statements, Houghton appears to have been sadly teased on account of this innovation, for shortly after the above he once more attempted an explanation:—

Notwithstanding these honest statements, Houghton seems to have been sadly teased because of this innovation, since shortly after the above he once again attempted an explanation:—

I thought what I said before about Matches, was very intelligible, but I find otherwise: The Case is thus:

I thought what I said earlier about Matches was very clear, but I see that's not the case: Here's what happened:

A. comes to me and says: his Friend has a Kinsman that he would be glad to have match’d, and he is a sober, well-bred, comely, understanding Man, and in so good an Employment, that with his Fortune he shall deserve a vertuous, well-bred, discreet, comely Wife with a Fortune of £1000, but his Kinsman has not much Acquaintance and is bashful. This I publish and then comes B. and says his Friend has a Kinswoman qualified as above, and he would gladly match her to such if it be real. Upon this I bring the two that speak to me, together, and if they can understand each other they carry on the Match: and if it succeed, I shall expect some small Consideration, and this is what I intend to be concerned in the Matter.

A. comes to me and says that his friend has a relative he'd like to set up. This guy is sober, well-mannered, good-looking, smart, and in a good job, so with his wealth, he deserves a virtuous, well-bred, discreet, and attractive wife with a £1000 fortune. However, his relative doesn't have many connections and is shy. I share this information, and then B. comes to me and says that his friend has a female relative who meets those qualifications and he would happily match her if it’s genuine. So, I bring the two who spoke to me together, and if they can communicate well, they can pursue the match. If it works out, I expect a small fee, and this is what I plan to be involved in.

This explanation seems to have been thought satisfactory, and no doubt eligible parties left their names and addresses with him, for a few weeks after the Collection for Improvement of Husbandry and Trade contained the following:—

This explanation seems to have been considered satisfactory, and no doubt qualified individuals shared their names and addresses with him, because a few weeks later, the Collection for Improvement of Husbandry and Trade included the following:—

I know of several Men and Women whose Friends would gladly have them match’d, which I’ll endeavour to do, as from Time to Time I shall hear of such whose Circumstances are likely to agree; and I’ll assure such as will come to me it shall be done with all the Honour[481] and Secrecy imaginable. Their own Parents shall not manage it more to their Satisfaction, and the more comes to me the better I shall be able to serve them.

I know several men and women whose friends would happily set them up, and I’ll try to help with that whenever I hear about people whose situations seem compatible. I promise that for those who come to me, it will be done with complete respect and confidentiality. Their own parents couldn’t handle it better, and the more people come to me, the better I’ll be able to assist them.[481]

We have already, in an early portion of this book, dilated on the claims Houghton has on the gratitude of past and present advertisers, and so we will pass on to the next specimen on our list, which appears in the Gazetteer of December 14, 1771:—

We have already discussed Houghton’s contributions to the gratitude of past and present advertisers earlier in this book, so we will move on to the next example on our list, which appears in the Gazetteer of December 14, 1771:—

To Gentlemen of Fortune.

To Wealthy Gentlemen.

A MOST advantageous Opportunity now offers to any young Gentleman of Character and independent Fortune; the Advertiser of this will introduce such to a most accomplished young Lady of Fortune, and greater Expectancy. None but a real Gentleman will succeed: therefore it is desired no other would apply. Letters directed to P. L. at the Nottingham Coffee-house, opposite Great Turnstile, Holborn, mentioning their present Condition, and where to inquire of the specified Particulars, signed with their own Name, will have due Regard and Honour, and Secrecy observed as it is required.

A MOST advantageous opportunity is now available for any young gentleman of good character and financial independence; the advertiser will introduce him to a highly accomplished young lady of wealth and great prospects. Only a true gentleman will be successful, so it is requested that no one else applies. Letters should be addressed to P. L. at the Nottingham Coffee-house, across from Great Turnstile, Holborn, mentioning their current situation and where to inquire about the specified details, signed with their own name, will be given proper attention and kept confidential as requested.

From this and kindred notices in the papers of a hundred years ago or so, it would appear that certain young ladies were kept, like the fabled damsels of old, each in an enchanted castle, until some knight should appear to break the spell. With just this difference, that not chivalry but cheque-books was the requisition, and that the dragon, instead of being punished by the avenging sword, was rewarded with the “usual percentage.” In 1775 the following handbill must have been pretty familiar to residents in London:—

From this and similar notices in newspapers from about a hundred years ago, it seems that certain young women were kept, like the legendary damsels of old, each in an enchanted castle until a knight would come to break the spell. The only difference was that it wasn't chivalry that was needed, but rather cheque-books, and the dragon, instead of being punished by a vengeful sword, was rewarded with the "usual percentage." In 1775, the following handbill must have been quite familiar to residents in London:—

No. 2, Dover Street, St. James’s.

No. 2, Dover Street, St. James’s.

Marriage Treaties

Marriage Agreements

Carried on, and solely calculated for such Persons as can give the best Proof of being (totally) at their own Disposal.

Carried on, and designed specifically for those who can best demonstrate being completely in control of their own choices.

THE open undisguised Manner in which this truly important Business is pursued, will best appear by the following Plan, which is humbly submitted to the Judgment of the Public. Negociation of Money is also transacted at the House, where widow Ladies, Clergy, and other Gentlemen, may possibly be accommodated with Sums on granting Annuities, or otherwise, as may be agreed upon.

THE open and straightforward way this really important business is handled will be best shown by the following plan, which is respectfully presented for the public's consideration. Money transactions also take place at the house, where widows, clergy, and other gentlemen may possibly be offered sums in exchange for annuities or by other arrangements as agreed.

[482]

[482]

The great Utility of this Undertaking, especially that Department of it relative to Marriage, is so very striking, that it seems to bespeak the Approbation of this great Metropolis, where Business may almost be said to have rivall’d Marriage; for it not only robs the Gentlemen of their Time, but the Ladies of their Lovers. Now this House in Dover Street is established to supply the Time that is wanting; and Courtships may be carried on by Way of Proxy to their final Issue: thus will the Gentleman save his Time, and the Lady gain a Husband; and it will be readily allowed that happy Marriages are the very Cement of Society, the Promoters of Virtue, and may be truly said to strike at the very Root of Dissipation.

The significant usefulness of this initiative, particularly the part related to marriage, is so apparent that it seems to demand the approval of this great city, where business has almost outpaced marriage; it not only takes up men's time but also deprives women of their partners. This establishment on Dover Street is created to provide the time that’s lacking; courtships can be conducted by proxy until the final outcome: this way, the man saves his time, and the woman finds a husband. It will be widely accepted that happy marriages are the glue of society, promote virtue, and can truly be said to tackle the heart of indulgence.

Upon these honourable, these eligible Principles, it is that the Managers of this Undertaking ground all their Hopes; nor have they ventured to announce it to the Public without the maturest Deliberation, after having considered it in every Point of View; and dare assure the World, that the most upright Conduct, greatest Delicacy and inviolable Secrecy shall be observed in all their Proceedings; and as this Plan bids fair for the Happiness of Thousands, so will it soon put a Stop to those futile, trifling (not to say dangerous) Advertisements that so frequently invade the public Ear, and which seem but too often calculated to deceive.

On these honorable and valid principles, the managers of this venture base all their hopes; they have not announced it to the public without careful consideration, having examined it from every angle. They confidently assure the world that the highest standards of integrity, sensitivity, and strict confidentiality will be maintained in all their actions. This plan not only promises happiness for thousands but will also soon put an end to the pointless and often misleading advertisements that frequently bombard the public, which seem designed to deceive.

As to the Proprietors themselves, some of them are well known in the City, and others are not totally Strangers in the polite Circle; which puts it still more in their Power to promote the Design, and that not more upon the Principles of Love and Honour, than those of Sense and Discretion.

As for the Proprietors themselves, some are well-known in the City, while others aren't complete strangers in polite society; this gives them even more power to promote the project, not just based on love and honor, but also on common sense and discretion.

Each Person who appears at Dover Street (aforesaid) will be shown into a separate Apartment. Such as cannot attend in Person, are requested to signify their Intention by their Friend in Writing; and it is hoped and presumed that such Recital will be made with the utmost Exactness; and not only the Situation in Life, but the Age, Constitution, and Religion of the Party set forth with all possible Accuracy and Candour.

Each person who shows up at Dover Street (as mentioned) will be taken to a private room. Those who can't attend in person are asked to have a friend notify us of their intention in writing; we hope and assume that this notice will be made with complete accuracy. It's important to include not just the person's social status, but also their age, health, and religion, described as accurately and honestly as possible.

It hardly seems needful to add, that so much Time and Thought cannot be supposed to have been laid out without a reasonable Recompense; therefore it will be quite necessary, when the Principals do not appear (which may not unfrequently happen), that their Agents shall have been apprised that the Terms upon which this truly important Matter is commenced, is no more than Five Guineas, to be paid to the Managers on taking down the Minutes of the Business; and no more is to be paid till after the Matter is completed, either by supplying the Sum of Money according to Agreement, or by the Marriage of the Parties in Question: and although the Managers claim no more than Five Guineas, yet (it is presumed) so small a Sum will not be[483] deemed an adequate Compensation, when Business of Consequence is to be done, and Persons of Condition and liberal Sentiment concerned.

It hardly seems necessary to add that so much time and thought can't be assumed to have been spent without reasonable compensation; therefore, it will be important, when the main parties do not show up (which may happen frequently), that their agents are informed that the terms under which this important matter begins is no more than Five Guineas, to be paid to the managers upon recording the minutes of the business; and no further payment is due until after the matter is resolved, either by providing the agreed sum of money or by the marriage of the parties involved. Although the managers are asking for no more than Five Guineas, it is presumed that such a small amount will not be considered adequate compensation when important business is at stake and individuals of status and generous spirit are involved.

The Proprietors are to be spoken with from eleven in the Morning till four in the Afternoon, and from seven in the Evening till ten at Night (as many cannot attend before that Time) every Day, Sunday excepted; and as it is manifest that many Gentlemen both in Court and City, are so absorbed in Business, that though they are happy in the Thought of Marriage, and every Way qualified to engage in it, yet may have neither Time nor Temper for the tedious Forms of Courtship; and as it is also manifest that many excellent Women are, in a great Measure, lost to Society, lost (as we may say) to the tender Joys of Hymen; and who, tied down by Custom to be passive, cannot be first Movers in a Point so delicate; to shun, therefore, all unnecessary Forms (for true Sincerity, we know, cannot exist with too much Ceremony), it is hoped that the above Expedient will be adopted, and that each Person, in Town or Country, who employs an Agent, will signify their Intention so clearly, and candidly, that the Managers may have it in their Power to compleat the Business, and that as soon as possible.

The Proprietors can be contacted from 11 AM to 4 PM and from 7 PM to 10 PM every day, except Sunday, since many people can't attend before those times. It’s clear that many gentlemen in both court and city are so caught up in their work that, while they’re eager to marry and are perfectly suited for it, they might lack the time or patience for the lengthy process of courtship. It’s also clear that many wonderful women are largely sidelined in society and, bound by tradition to be passive, can’t take the initiative in such a delicate matter. To avoid unnecessary formalities (since we know true sincerity doesn’t thrive in excessive ceremony), we hope that the above proposal will be embraced. Each person, whether in town or country, who hires an agent should communicate their intentions clearly and honestly, allowing the Managers to finalize arrangements as soon as possible.

And although it is said above that the Ladies cannot be first Movers in some certain Points, yet, sure, they are not debarred the use of Agents; nor does true Modesty demand the Sacrifice of Sense.

And although it’s mentioned above that women cannot be the primary decision-makers in certain matters, they certainly aren’t prevented from using representatives; and true modesty doesn’t require sacrificing common sense.

Note, Sums of Money, from Five Hundred Pounds to any Amount whatsoever, may be had, and that upon the shortest Notice, and most equitable Terms. Every Proposal that is practicable will be compleated without Trifling or Delay.

Note, Sums of Money, from Five Hundred Pounds to any Amount at all, are available, and this on the shortest notice and most reasonable terms. Every feasible proposal will be completed without wasting time or delay.

It would be superfluous to trouble the Public about the Characters of the Proprietors of this House for Honour and Delicacy, as it could not possibly subsist without such a Foundation; therefore the Nobility, Gentry, and other Persons may depend on being accommodated with any Sum, as above, without Loss of Time.

It would be unnecessary to bother the public about the characters of the owners of this establishment for honor and delicacy, as it couldn't exist without such a foundation; therefore, the nobility, gentry, and other individuals can count on being provided with any amount, as mentioned above, without wasting time.

Persons who have Monies to lend, as well as those who have Occasion to borrow, may both be accommodated at Dover Street aforesaid.

Persons who have money to lend, as well as those who need to borrow, can both be helped at the Dover Street mentioned above.

These handbills being largely circulated, and advertisements being inserted in the principal newspapers at the same time, the establishment enjoyed its full share of notice. At a masked ball given by Mrs Cornelys,[46] on the 16th of[484] July 1776, one of the characters was a Jew, with a label in his hat inscribed with the words “Marriage Treaties,” who delivered to the company the following card:—

These flyers were widely distributed, and ads were placed in major newspapers at the same time, so the establishment received plenty of attention. At a masked ball hosted by Mrs. Cornelys, __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ on July 16, 1776, one of the characters was a Jew wearing a label on his hat that said “Marriage Treaties," who presented the following card:—

The Marriage Broker

The Matchmaker

Accommodates Ladies and Gentlemen with everything in the matrimonial way which their Hearts can wish for (Virtue and Money only excepted), and that at first sight of the Parties, having fitted up a variety of very commodious Apartments.—He deals either in the ton or City Stile. If a difficult case, apply to our Attorney General, who attends me here in Person. N.B. I only charge five Guineas poundage per couple.

Accommodates men and women with everything they could wish for in terms of marriage (except for virtue and money), right at the first sight of the couples, having arranged a variety of very comfortable rooms. He operates in either high society or city style. For complicated situations, contact our Attorney General, who is here in person. Note: I only charge five guineas per couple.

Marriage Treaties.

Marriage Agreements.

Oh, lost Nymphs, who waste away in the shadows!
You sad widows, crying for—Brocades!
People who obsess over—Trends! and dramatic thinkers!
Bucks of St. James’s! and you Half-moon'd Citizens!
[485] The old and young—the ugly and the beautiful!
Hurry to Hymen's Shrine, and offer up your despair. Let the law handle divorces, while controlling husbands complain,
So go ahead and stir their anger!—because there’s plenty available for sale. Let the mask of Virtue guide the Wife for a while,
Here’s fresh supply—here are wives of every color!
Black, white, red, gray—the vibrant, the muted, the clever!
Here’s Dames for Courtiers, girls for the City!

In the August number of the Town and Country Magazine, 1776, a correspondent who signs himself “Lothario,” wrote a letter to warn the public against the Dover Street Marriage Office. It states that, having paid his five guineas, he had his name entered on the list of candidates for matrimony, and that in due course of time he received a letter, intimating that a lady, conforming minutely to the conditions for which he had stipulated, wanted a husband exactly like himself. The lady, after some formalities, gave him an appointment in Gray’s Inn Gardens, describing her dress; and in order that she might not be mistaken in the gentleman (for till then the parties had not seen each other), she desired that he should have a large nosegay in his hand, bound round with a blue ribbon, which he was to present to her as an introduction to their conference. Unfortunately the lady turned out to be an old acquaintance of the gay Lothario, and by no means the sort of person he could have desired for a wife. This exposition of the matrimonial swindle was answered by the company, with the following advertisement in the Morning Post, October 17, 1776:—

In the August issue of Town and Country Magazine, 1776, a writer who calls himself “Lothario” wrote a letter to warn the public about the Dover Street Marriage Office. He mentioned that after paying five guineas, his name was added to the list of candidates for marriage, and eventually, he received a letter saying a lady, who fit the exact criteria he specified, was looking for a husband just like him. After some formalities, the lady set up a meeting in Gray’s Inn Gardens and described what she would be wearing. To ensure she wouldn’t mistake him for someone else (since they hadn’t seen each other yet), she requested that he carry a large bouquet tied with a blue ribbon, which he should give to her as an introduction to their meeting. Unfortunately, the lady turned out to be an old acquaintance of the charming Lothario, and definitely not the kind of person he would have wanted as a wife. This revelation of the marriage scam was responded to by the company with the following advertisement in the Morning Post, October 17, 1776:—

To the Candid and Impartial.

To the Honest and Unbiased.

ON perusing the Town and Country Magazine of August last, Page 408, there appears a Letter in which the Author throws out a very illiberal, unjust Assertion, viz., that any new Plan or Scheme that is offered to the Public is founded upon Imposition; and then goes on to recite an elaborate Tale of his having paid five Guineas to the Managers of the Marriage-Plan, and of his obtaining the promise of a Wife with £10,000 on declaring himself worth treble that Sum. Now the Managers of that Undertaking are called upon to assert, that they are equally unacquainted with the Villa or with the Lady he mentions (not but it[486] would be their Pride and Boast for such as resolve to return to the Paths of Virtue and Honour); and they further declare that every Line of this Letter that reflects the least Dishonour on them, and that does not set their Undertaking in the fairest Point of View, is utterly groundless.

ON looking through the Town and Country Magazine from last August, Page 408, there is a letter where the author makes a very narrow-minded and unfair claim, stating that any new plan or proposal presented to the public is based on deception. He goes on to share an elaborate story about paying five guineas to the managers of a marriage plan and getting a promise of a wife with £10,000 after claiming to be worth three times that amount. Now the managers of this initiative are called to clarify that they have no knowledge of the villa or the lady he mentions (though it would be their pride and honor to assist those who choose to return to the paths of virtue and honor); they also state that any part of this letter that casts even the slightest dishonor on them and does not portray their endeavor in the best light is completely unfounded.

Note, The Managers of said Plan, in Dover Street, finding that the Payment of five Guineas has been thought by some too much on the Commencement, have resolved to reduce that Payment to the Sum of two Guineas for the Future to each Gentleman who may apply; and to give the World some Proof that the Managers are no Deceivers, they will return, on Demand, the three Guineas overplus, to such who have paid the five above mentioned.

Note: The Managers of the Plan on Dover Street have realized that some people think the five Guineas payment at the start is too high. They've decided to lower that amount to two Guineas moving forward for any Gentleman who applies. To show that the Managers are trustworthy, they will return, upon request, the extra three Guineas to those who have already paid the previously mentioned five.

Ladies of Reputation are invited gratis, and the Managers shall think themselves highly honoured, as well as amply rewarded, by their Appearance, which must add true Dignity to a Plan where their Felicity is consulted, without trespassing on their Delicacy.

Ladies of Reputation are invited for free, and the Managers will consider themselves greatly honored, as well as well rewarded, by their presence, which will truly enhance the dignity of a plan that respects their happiness without compromising their sensitivity.

*** Counsellor Taite, one of the Managers, will carefully answer all Letters, or other Applications relative to Money Negotiations, and has the Disposal of several large Sums for that Purpose.

*** Counsellor Taite, one of the Managers, will thoughtfully respond to all letters or other requests related to financial negotiations and has access to several large sums for that purpose.

Like its predecessors and followers in quackery and cheating, the Dover Street establishment died of itself in due course, and its promoters doubtless turned their attention to new swindles. In the Daily Advertiser of 1777 the following is discovered, and is noticeable for the horse-couping manner in which the young gentleman speaks of the future bride who is to assist him in setting up housekeeping. He must have had some trouble in finding such a thoroughbred filly as he requires:—

Like its predecessors and successors in fraud and deception, the Dover Street establishment eventually faded away, and its promoters likely shifted their focus to new scams. In the Daily Advertiser of 1777, the following is found, noteworthy for the flashy way the young man talks about the future wife who will help him start a home. He must have had some difficulty finding such a top-notch partner as he requires:—

Matrimony.

Marriage.

WANTED, by a young Gentleman just beginning House-keeping, a Lady, between eighteen and twenty-five Years of Age, with a good Education, and a Fortune not less than 5,000l.; sound Wind and Limb, Five Feet Four Inches without her Shoes; not fat, nor yet too lean; a clear Skin; sweet Breath, with good Set of Teeth; no Pride, nor Affectation; not very talkative, nor one that is deemed no Scold; but of a Spirit to resent an Affront; of a charitable Disposition; not over fond of Dress, though always decent and clean; that will entertain her Husband’s Friends with Affability and Cheerfulness, and prefer his Company to public Diversions and gadding about; one who can keep his Secrets, that he may open his Heart to her without reserve on all Occasions; that can extend domestic Expenses with Economy, as[487] Prosperity advances, without Ostentation; and retrench them with Cheerfulness, if Occasion should require.

WWANTED, by a young man just starting to manage a household, a woman, between eighteen and twenty-five years old, with a good education and a fortune of no less than £5,000; healthy and fit, five feet four inches tall without her shoes; not too heavy, but not too skinny; clear skin; fresh breath, with a good set of teeth; no pride or pretension; not overly talkative, but also not someone who is constantly nagging; possesses a spirit to stand up for herself; has a kind heart; not too obsessed with fashion, but always neat and tidy; someone who will welcome her husband’s friends with warmth and joy and prefers his company over social outings; someone who can keep his secrets so he can share his feelings with her openly on all occasions; who can manage household expenses wisely as their prosperity grows, without showing off; and can tighten the budget cheerfully if the situation calls for it.

Any Lady disposed to Matrimony, answering this Description, is desired to direct for Y. Z. at the Baptist’s Head Coffee-House, Aldermanbury.

Any lady interested in marriage who matches this description is invited to contact Y. Z. at the Baptist’s Head Coffee-House, Aldermanbury.

N.B. None but Principals will be treated with, nor need any apply that are deficient in any one Particular: the Gentleman can make adequate Return, and is, in every Respect, deserving a Lady with the above Qualifications.

N.B. Only individuals of appropriate status will be considered, and no one should apply if they lack any important qualities: the Gentleman can provide a proper return and is, in every way, worthy of a Lady with the above qualifications.

Getting on towards the present day, we come across an advertisement in the Courier of May 1815 from a lady who, like the gentleman we have just attended to, wants a good deal for the money. Unlike him, however, she is not young, and so should know better than to ask for a combination of impossibilities in a husband, when, according to her own showing, she should be glad to get a very ordinary creature indeed:—

Getting closer to the present day, we find an advertisement in the Courier from May 1815 from a woman who, like the man we just discussed, wants a lot for her money. However, unlike him, she isn’t young and should know better than to ask for an impossible combination of qualities in a husband when, based on her own description, she should be happy to find a very average guy indeed:—

MATRIMONY.—A Lady, tremblingly alive to the impropriety of this address, is nevertheless compelled, from the family discomforts she now endures, to adopt this method of obtaining a friend and protector; and she is quite certain, that a candid explanation of her situation, will excuse, with a liberal mind, this apparently indecorous appeal. The Advertiser has been married, is middle-aged, of pleasing appearance, highly educated, and accomplished; but, she flatters herself, the regulations of her heart and mind exceed all outward recommendation: her income is very small, and only just sufficient to enable her to make the appearance of a gentlewoman. The being she is desirous of looking up to for happiness, must be, by birth, far above the middling class of society; and all professions, except the Church, the Army, or Navy, will be objected to; about forty, but not under that age; very tall, of gentlemanlike appearance, and possessing that polish, and those habits, that are only to be acquired in good company; of an unimpeached, moral, respectable, and honourable character, fond of retirement and domestic life. Fortune not being the object of the Advertiser, she requires his income only to be equal to his own wants; and she will never lessen it. As the most serious and painful causes have occasioned this Address, it is earnestly solicited that no one will reply to it from curiosity or amusement; and persons who seek fortune, connections, or any other worldly advantage, will only be disappointed by noticing it; but should it meet the eye of a being whose mind is sufficiently cultivated to consider[488] a well-born, elegant, and accomplished companion, and sincere friend, the first treasure in life, from such she will be glad to hear; and real names and addresses will be considered a pledge of sincerity that will not be abused. Letters must be post paid, and addressed to O. P. Q., Two-penny Post-office, Blandford-street, Portman-square.

MALIMONY.—A lady, fully aware that this request might be deemed inappropriate, still feels she has no choice but to seek a friend and protector due to the family troubles she is currently facing. She believes that a straightforward explanation of her situation will help a reasonable person understand this seemingly improper appeal. The advertiser has been married, is middle-aged, attractive, well-educated, and accomplished; however, she prides herself that her inner qualities and character surpass any superficial attributes. Her income is quite limited, just enough to maintain the appearance of a gentlewoman. The person she wishes to look up to for happiness must come from a background far above the middle class; all occupations will be rejected except for those in the Church, Army, or Navy; he should be around forty years old, but not younger; very tall, gentlemanly in manner, and having the refinement and habits that develop only among the elite; with a spotless, moral, respectable, and honorable character, and a preference for solitude and home life. As the advertiser is not seeking wealth, she only requires his income to meet his needs and will not diminish it. Because the serious and painful circumstances surrounding this request prompted it, she kindly asks that no one responds out of curiosity or for entertainment; individuals seeking wealth, connections, or any other material benefit will be disappointed by replying. However, if this message reaches someone whose mind is refined enough to appreciate a well-bred, elegant, and accomplished companion and a genuine friend as the greatest treasure in life, she would be happy to hear from them. Real names and addresses will be seen as a sign of sincerity that she promises not to misuse. Letters must be post-paid and addressed to O. P. Q., Two-penny Post-office, Blandford-street, Portman-square.

In December 1818 there appeared in Galignani an application from the scion of a distinguished though unfortunate family who was anxious to enter into the holy state. It was called

In December 1818, an application appeared in Galignani from a descendant of a notable but unfortunate family who was eager to enter the holy state. It was called

Offer of Marriage.

Marriage Proposal.

COUNT SARSFIELD, Lord Lucan, descendant of the royal branches of Lorraine and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, wishes to contract an alliance with a lady capable from her rank and talents of supporting the dignity and titles, which an alliance so honourable would confer on her. Address, Poste Restante à Paris.

COUNT SARSFIELD, Lord Lucan, a descendant of the royal families of Lorraine and Capet, along with other European monarchs, wants to form a partnership with a woman who, due to her status and abilities, can match the honor and titles that such a prestigious alliance would bring her. Please contact me at Poste Restante in Paris.

The name of Sarsfield is highly distinguished in the military annals of Ireland: during the eventful period subsequent to the expulsion of James II. from England, Sarsfield was General-in-Chief of the Irish troops, and was one of those who took advantage of the capitulation of Limerick to transfer himself and family to another country. But for all his great name and historical associations, this Sarsfield was but a poor adventurer; for he did not succeed in getting any rich parvenue to nibble at his bait, as is evidenced by this, which seven years afterwards appeared in a London newspaper:—

The name of Sarsfield is well-known in Ireland's military history: during the significant period after James II. was expelled from England, Sarsfield served as the Chief General of the Irish troops and was among those who took advantage of the surrender of Limerick to relocate himself and his family to another country. Despite his impressive name and historical connections, Sarsfield was just a struggling adventurer; he failed to attract any wealthy newcomers to take his proposal, as shown by this article that appeared in a London news article:—

COUNT SARSFIELD LUCAN, lineal descendant of the royal line of Lorraine and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, desires to join in an alliance of marriage with a lady whose qualities and abilities will enable her to support the rank and titles she will obtain by this honourable alliance. Address to Count Sarsfield Lucan, Poste Restante à Paris.

COUNT SARSFIELD LUCAN, a direct descendant of the royal families of Lorraine and Capet, as well as other European monarchs, is seeking to form a marriage alliance with a woman whose attributes and skills will allow her to uphold the status and titles she will acquire through this prestigious union. Please contact Count Sarsfield Lucan at Poste Restante in Paris.

In a handbill circulated about the year 1820, a “new matrimonial plan” is ventilated. The advertiser states that he possesses “an establishment where persons of all classes who are anxious to sweeten life by repairing to the[489] altar of Hymen, have an opportunity of meeting with proper partners. . . . Their personal attendance is not absolutely necessary, a statement of facts is all that is required at first.” The method propounded was for all anxious to secure husbands or wives to become subscribers to the institution, the amount of subscription to be regulated according to the class in which they place themselves, the classes being described thus in the plan:—

In a handbill circulated around 1820, a "new matchmaking scheme" is introduced. The advertiser claims to have "a place where people of all backgrounds who want to enhance their lives by going to the [489] altar of Hymen can meet suitable partners. . . . They don’t have to attend in person; just a statement of facts is needed initially." The proposed method was for everyone looking to find a husband or wife to become subscribers to the organization, with subscription fees determined by the class they identify with, which are outlined in the plan:—

Ladies.
1st Class. I am twenty years of age, heiress to an estate in the county of Essex of the value of 30,000l., well educated, and of domestic habits; of an agreeable, lively disposition, and genteel figure. Religion that of my future husband.
2nd Class. I am thirty years of age, a widow, in the grocery line in London—have children; of middle stature, full made, fair complexion and hair, temper agreeable, worth 3,000l.
3rd Class. I am tall and thin, a little lame in the hip, of a lively disposition, conversible, twenty years of age, live with my father, who, if I marry with his consent, will give me 1,000l.
4th Class. I am twenty years of age; mild disposition and manners; allowed to be personable.
5th Class. I am sixty years of age; income limited; active, and rather agreeable.
Gentlemen.
1st Class. A young gentleman with dark eyes and hair; stout made; well educated; have an estate of 500l. per annum in the county of Kent; besides 10,000l. in three per cent. consolidated annuities; am of an affable disposition, and very affectionate.
2nd Class. I am forty years of age, tall and slender, fair complexion and hair, well tempered and of sober habits, have a situation in the Excise, of 300l. per annum, and a small estate in Wales of the annual value of 150l.
3rd Class. A tradesman in the city of Bristol, in a ready-money business, turning 150l. per week at a profit of 10 per cent., pretty well tempered, lively, and fond of home.
4th Class. I am fifty-eight years of age; a widower, without encumbrance; retired from business upon a small income; healthy constitution; and of domestic habits.
5th Class. I am twenty-five years of age; a mechanic of sober habits; industrious, and of respectable connections.

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It is presumed that the public will not find any difficulty in describing themselves; if they should, they will have the assistance of the managers, who will be in attendance at the office, No. 5, Great St. Helens, Bishopsgate Street, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, between the hours of eleven and three o’clock.—Please to inquire for Mr Jameson, up one pair of stairs. All letters to be post paid.

It is assumed that the public won’t have any trouble describing themselves; if they do, they can get help from the managers, who will be available at the office located at No. 5, Great St. Helens, Bishopsgate Street, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, from 11 AM to 3 PM. —Please ask for Mr. Jameson, one flight up. All letters should be postage paid.

The subscribers are to be furnished with a list of descriptions, and when one occurs likely to suit, the parties may correspond; and if mutually approved, the interview may be afterwards arranged.

The subscribers will receive a list of descriptions, and when one appears to be a good fit, the parties can communicate; if both sides are interested, they can arrange an interview afterward.

About 1840, some adventurers anxious to emulate the success achieved by matrimonial agencies in Paris and other towns on the Continent, set up an office in the neighbourhood of Cavendish Square, and issued a prospectus, which stated that it was written by a clergyman of the Church of England, who was also a graduate of the University of Oxford—a kind of double guarantee as to purity of morals and excellence of style—and which, after setting forth the advantages of such an establishment properly conducted, and the success which had attended on similar ventures in other countries where people were less prejudiced, went on thus:—

About 1840, some adventurers eager to replicate the success of marriage agencies in Paris and other cities in Europe, set up an office near Cavendish Square and released a prospectus that claimed to be written by an Anglican clergyman who was also an Oxford University graduate—a sort of double assurance of moral integrity and high-quality writing. The prospectus outlined the benefits of a well-run establishment and the success of similar ventures in other countries where people were less biased, then continued so:—

It is conducted by a gentleman and his wife, both persons of the highest character, respectability, and connexions. They have separate houses at some distance from each other, at which the husband gives interviews to gentlemen and his wife to ladies. The negotiations are conducted in conformity with printed rules, from which not the slightest deviation will be allowed, and everything is managed in a manner which cannot offend the most fastidious delicacy, or deter the most easily excited diffidence. It is quite impossible that ladies or gentlemen applying to the establishment can see each other, until a meeting be finally and satisfactorily arranged, and all effects of idle curiosity are effectually checked. The rules are to be published for ten shillings—the price is set upon them for no other reason than as some guard against the thoughtless, the idle or the ill disposed—at Mr Proudfoot’s, 63, Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square, and they entitle the purchaser to a speedy interview.

It’s run by a man and his wife, both of whom have the highest character, respectability, and connections. They have separate homes at a good distance from each other, where the husband meets with men and the wife meets with women. The negotiations follow printed rules, and there won’t be any exceptions; everything is handled in a way that respects even the most delicate sensibilities and won’t intimidate the most reserved individuals. It’s completely impossible for ladies or gentlemen visiting the establishment to see each other until a meeting is properly arranged, effectively stopping any idle curiosity. The rules will be available for ten shillings—not priced that way for any other reason than to deter the thoughtless, the idle, or those with ill intentions—at Mr. Proudfoot’s, 63 Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square, and buying them guarantees a prompt meeting.

In the same year an advertisement was published in the papers directing the ignorant in such matters where to apply in the event of their wishing to obtain the benefits of the[491] agency and the services of the clergyman of the Church of England and graduate of the University of Oxford:—

In the same year, an ad was published in the newspapers to inform those who didn’t know where to go if they wanted to access the benefits of the [491] agency and the services of a clergyman from the Church of England and a graduate of the University of Oxford:—

MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE.—The Pamphlets, Rules, and Regulations of this Establishment for promoting Matrimonial Alliances, may be obtained by applying to A. B. care of Mr. Proudfoot, 63, Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square. Price of the pamphlet one shilling. The Portfolio of February is now ready, containing letters from gentlemen in every sphere of life, possessing property from £400 to £3000 per annum, and may be purchased or inspected by ladies, free of charge, at the agent’s, 63, Mortimer Street, as above.

MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE.—You can get the pamphlets, rules, and regulations of this establishment for promoting matrimonial alliances by contacting A. B. care of Mr. Proudfoot, 63 Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square. The pamphlet costs one shilling. The February Portfolio is now available, featuring letters from gentlemen in various professions with incomes ranging from £400 to £3000 a year. Ladies can purchase or view it for free at the agent’s office at 63 Mortimer Street, as mentioned above.

Notwithstanding the honours of the clergyman and the contents of the portfolio, the old-fashioned and insulated notions of English folk were too much for the Alliance, which in due course faded from sight and recollection. Possibly the graduate sought those happier climes to which he refers in his exordium, and there made two into one as often as he could wish. Ten years or more after Mr Proudfoot and his reverend friend had departed from the scene, the following, which is suggestive of a still smaller agency, appeared. It is a unique specimen of the use to which artful and designing folks can under any set professions put advertisements:—

Notwithstanding the clergyman's accolades and the contents of the portfolio, the outdated and isolated views of the English people were too much for the Alliance, which eventually faded from memory. It's possible the graduate sought those happier places he mentions in his introduction, where he could combine things as often as he desired. Ten years or more after Mr. Proudfoot and his reverend friend had left the scene, the following appeared, suggesting an even smaller agency at work. It serves as a unique example of how crafty and manipulative individuals can use advertisements under any guise:—

TO GIRLS OF FORTUNE.—MATRIMONY.—A bachelor, young, amiable, handsome, of good family, and accustomed to move in the highest sphere of society, is embarrassed in his circumstances. Marriage is his only hope of extrication. This advertisement is inserted by one of his friends. Ingratitude was never one of his faults, and he will study for the remainder of his life to prove his estimation of the confidence placed in him. Address, post paid L. L. H. L., 47 King Street, Soho.—N.B. The witticisms of cockney scribblers deprecated.

TO GIRLS OF FORTUNE.—MATRIMONY.—A bachelor, young, friendly, attractive, from a good family, and used to moving in the highest circles of society, finds himself in a difficult situation. Marriage is his only hope of getting out of it. This ad is placed by one of his friends. Ingratitude has never been one of his faults, and he will dedicate the rest of his life to showing how much he values the trust placed in him. Please reply, postage paid, to L. L. H. L., 47 King Street, Soho.—N.B. The jokes of cockney writers are not welcome.

This was evidently concocted by a man who knew what would be most likely to attract silly spinsters of a romantic turn of mind and independent means. Did he succeed? We cannot say, but sincerely hope not, as the professions are too good to be sincere, and his pretensions are pitched[492] too high to be genuine. The following has been already compared with the handsome bachelor’s effusion:—

This was clearly made up by a guy who understood what would probably catch the attention of naive single women with a romantic mindset and their own money. Did he succeed? We can’t say for sure, but we genuinely hope not, since the claims are too impressive to be real, and his pretensions are set too high to be authentic. The following has already been compared to the handsome bachelor’s effusion:—

MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT. I hereby give notice to all unmarried women that I, John Hobnail, am at this writing five and forty, a widower, and in want of a wife. As I wish no one to be mistaken, I have a good cottage with a couple of acres of land, for which I pay 2l. a-year. I have five children, four of them old enough to be in employment; three sides of bacon and some pigs ready for market. I should like to have a woman fit to take care of her house when I am out. I want no second family. She may be between 40 and 50 if she likes. A good sterling woman would be preferred, who would take care of the pigs.

MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT. I’m writing to let all unmarried women know that I, John Hobnail, am currently 45 years old, a widower, and looking for a wife. To avoid any misunderstandings, I own a nice cottage with a couple of acres of land that costs me £2 a year. I have five children, four of whom are old enough to work; I also have three sides of bacon and some pigs ready for sale. I would like a woman who can manage the household while I’m out. I’m not looking to start another family. She can be between 40 and 50 if she wants. I would prefer a good, reliable woman who can take care of the pigs.

This was originally given in Blackwood over twenty years ago. John Hobnail is plain-spoken, but he is evidently honest, and no greater contrast could be afforded to L. L. H. L. than John’s desires for a mate. Here is no high-falutin’ nonsense, and romance-reading young ladies were doubtlessly horrified at the use to which John would put a “good sterling woman.” But there may, after all, be heroism in pig-feeding; and many a brave lady would quail before a hungry sow and her litter. Some might also object to the contiguity in which Mr Hobnail places his porkers and his children. Differing from John Hobnail very widely, yet in the same agricultural interest, is the author of the next application, which a good many years nearer the present time than the Blackwood specimen, appeared in a Yorkshire journal. The effusion is in its way almost as curious as the two are which immediately precede it—at least we think so, whatever our readers may do:—

This was originally published in Blackwood over twenty years ago. John Hobnail speaks plainly, but he is clearly honest, and his desires for a partner couldn't be more different from L. L. H. L. There’s no pretentious nonsense here, and romance-reading young women would likely be shocked at how John would treat a “good, solid woman.” However, there might be heroism in feeding pigs, and many courageous women would feel intimidated by a hungry sow and her piglets. Some might also take issue with how Mr. Hobnail keeps his pigs close to his kids. Very different from John Hobnail, yet still in the same farming vein, is the author of the next submission, which appeared in a Yorkshire journal a good number of years closer to the present than the Blackwood example. This piece is quite interesting in its own right, at least we think so, regardless of what our readers may do:—

WANTED a WIFE, by a handsome young FARMER who is desirous of becoming domesticated, and of enjoying the society of a young, good-tempered female, who would tempt him away from his market festivities by her pleasing and gently persuasive manners. She must not exceed 20, unless she be a widow, whose family must not exceed six. Want of beauty would be no kind of objection, provided she possessed from 1,000l. to 2,000l. His rent, tithes, and taxes are all paid up, and he is wholly free from debt. All that he requires is love, peace, and happiness. Apply —— near Tenbury.

WWanted a WIFE, by a handsome young FARMER who wants to settle down and enjoy the company of a young, good-natured woman who can lure him away from his market outings with her charming and gentle personality. She should be no older than 20, unless she’s a widow with no more than six children. Lacking beauty won’t be an issue as long as she has between £1,000 and £2,000. His rent, tithes, and taxes are all up to date, and he is completely debt-free. All he is looking for is love, peace, and happiness. Apply —— near Tenbury.

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All he requires is love, peace, and happiness. Love of course includes beauty; and so we can manage to understand that his object really is love and beauty, or a thousand pounds, and two if possible. How he can expect peace, to say nothing of happiness, when he gives a widow with six children a chance, passes our comprehension. But some men will do anything for money, and we regret to say that this handsome young farmer appears, after all, to be of a most mercenary description. While we are so far north, we may as well turn to Sheffield, in which town, about five years ago, a very amusing police case, having its origin in a matrimonial advertisement, was heard. The complaint was laid against three young men of the town of blades, named respectively George Herd, Joseph Fidler, and Arthur Harrop, who were charged by John Wilmer Lambert, “for that they did unlawfully, maliciously, and knowingly, with intent to provoke a breach of the peace, cause to be inserted in a certain public newspaper, called the Sheffield Independent, a certain false, scandalous, and defamatory statement of libel of and concerning one John Wilmer Lambert, and against the peace of our Lady the Queen.” The libel thus described was as follows:—

All he wants is love, peace, and happiness. Love, of course, includes beauty; so we can understand that his true aim is really love and beauty, or a thousand pounds, and two if possible. How he can expect peace, not to mention happiness, when he gives a widow with six kids a chance, is beyond us. But some guys will do anything for money, and we regret to say that this good-looking young farmer appears to be quite mercenary. While we’re this far north, we might as well head over to Sheffield, where, about five years ago, there was a very amusing police case that began with a matrimonial ad. The complaint was against three young men from the steel city, named George Herd, Joseph Fidler, and Arthur Harrop, who were charged by John Wilmer Lambert for “unlawfully, maliciously, and knowingly, with the intent to provoke a breach of the peace, causing to be inserted in a certain public newspaper called the Sheffield Independent, a certain false, scandalous, and defamatory statement of libel concerning one John Wilmer Lambert, and against the peace of our Lady the Queen.” The libel described was as follows:—

TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN.—A young man wishes to meet with a partner for life. Any young lady feeling disposed, apply by letter, WILMER LAMBERT, auger filer, St Mary’s-road, Sheffield.

TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN.—A young man is looking to find a life partner. Any young lady who is interested can reach out by letter to WILMER LAMBERT, auger filer, St Mary’s-road, Sheffield.

The following are some of the answers the unhappy Wilmer received from the fair ones of Sheffield: “Aperil 5, 1869. Sir—seeing Advertisement In the Independent that you are in Wants a partner for life so i hoffer myself as a Candate But Befoare there Is much More caresspondenc I should like an intearew with you. Notes the adress....” A more dignified lady says: “Wilmer Lambert: The under singed quite feel disposed as you call it. I am considered by my friends good looking and they think I shall make a good wife. I am the age 22 and dark. If W. L.[494] answers this pleas to send cart de visite. Address by letter.”

The following are some of the responses the unhappy Wilmer received from the beautiful women of Sheffield: “April 5, 1869. Sir—seeing your advertisement in the Independent that you are looking for a partner for life, I offer myself as a candidate. But before there is much more correspondence, I would like to have a conversation with you. Here’s my address....” A more refined lady writes: “Wilmer Lambert: The undersigned feels inclined, as you call it. My friends consider me good-looking and believe I would make a great wife. I am 22 years old and have dark features. If W. L.[494] replies to this, please send a visiting card. Contact me by letter.”

The next correspondent is anxious to make a match, if not to find a husband for herself: “Sir,—I with pleasure saw it advertised in the Independent to-day you was in wants of a partner and would be obliged if you will acpt Miss A. M. A——, tall, dark hair, dark eyes, and what the world calls good looking (age 23), or my sister who is (24) good looking. A widdow no children. A fortune at her own disposal willed to her by her late husband Mr. R——, or if you would Prefer a light young lady my friend Miss C. M. C——, who is at present residing in Sheffield, but is scotch, light hair, blue eyes, and affectionate will accept you please to answer in Tuesday Independent and you shall hear fearther from me.—Please not delay as I shall be ancouse to know which you prefer.” This lady’s anxiety to rush in and try her hand at match-making will perhaps in some way account for the contemptuous tone of the “but is scotch,” though, continuing the description, we find that even the Scotch young lady has forgotten the caution peculiar to her people, and so distasteful to her match-making friend, and has decided to accept the auger-filer.

The next correspondent is eager to make a match, if not for herself: “Sir,—I was pleased to see in the Independent today that you were looking for a partner and would appreciate it if you could consider Miss A. M. A——, who is tall with dark hair, dark eyes, and what people would call good looking (age 23), or my sister who is 24 and also attractive. She is a widow with no children and has a fortune at her disposal left to her by her late husband, Mr. R——. If you would prefer a lighter young lady, my friend Miss C. M. C——, currently living in Sheffield but originally from Scotland, has light hair, blue eyes, and is affectionate. Please respond in Tuesday’s Independent and you will hear more from me. —Please don’t delay, as I am eager to know which you prefer.” This lady’s eagerness to dive in and try her hand at matchmaking may explain the dismissive tone of “but is scotch,” though continuing the description, we see that even the Scottish young lady has forgotten the caution typical of her people, which is so distasteful to her matchmaking friend, and has decided to accept the situation.

A fifth is also affectionate, but cautious: “My dear fren Iv Sean in to Day Nuse Paper you Wanting A wife I shall be glad for a good husborn But I should Be very Glad to now you age firs 2 I should like to now Wether you are Good temper. My age is 24 years and a little Incom for Life and if you are Really in Wants of A Wife I should be happy to seay you after you Have Sent you Liknes and then I will meat you at my sisters and then We Will talk the Matter Over. Short aquantress Som times makes Long Repentnc. But, I Would Mak you Comfortable Wile I Liv and A Little After I am Dead Weakly Incom PS Excuse my Riting PS Anserr by Next Post.” This is indeed a gem which would have gladdened the heart of Isaac Pitman; and with a wife who will make her[495] husband comfortable after death, we must conclude our examples. There are other letters, one from “a publican’s daughter, twenty-three years of age, and as no objection to be a Partner if bouth sides sues tgether;” and several which bear the appearance of having been written for the purpose of hoaxing. After some little time spent in hearing the case, the defendants agreed to apologise and pay the costs, upon which Wilmer Lambert, auger-filer, felt that his honour was appeased, and stated that he would withdraw from the prosecution.

A fifth letter is both loving and careful: “My dear friend, I saw in today's newspaper that you want a wife. I would be happy to have a good husband, but I would like to know your age first. I want to know if you have a good temper. I am 24 years old and have a little income for life. If you really want a wife, I would be happy to meet you after you send your likeness, and then I will meet you at my sister's place, and we can discuss the matter. Short acquaintances can sometimes lead to long regrets. However, I would make you comfortable while I live and a little after I’m gone. Weekly income. P.S. Excuse my writing. P.S. Please respond by next post.” This is truly a gem that would have delighted Isaac Pitman; and with a wife who will ensure her husband’s comfort even after death, we must wrap up our examples. There are other letters, one from “a publican’s daughter, twenty-three years old, who would have no objection to being a partner if both sides suit together;” and several that seem to have been written just to trick someone. After some time spent discussing the case, the defendants agreed to apologize and cover the costs, upon which Wilmer Lambert, an auger-filer, felt that his honor was satisfied and stated he would withdraw from the prosecution.

In Belgravia, of six or seven years back, there is an article on matrimonial advertisements and the answers to correspondents which are peculiar to certain of the penny periodicals. It enters so thoroughly into the subject, and contains so much information as well as amusement, that a selection from it will be found agreeable. Speaking of the “answers,” the writer says, after alluding to one or two of a different sort: “By far the greater number of correspondents are, however, concerned about matrimonial affairs. The London Journal is, perhaps, the periodical which does the largest business of this kind. In a single copy there are no fewer than twenty-three paragraphs relating to this subject, many of them referring to four or five separate correspondents, besides two long lists of announcements of cartes-de-visite wanted and received. The study of these paragraphs is curious and edifying. ‘P. Y. R.,’ who seems to be a favoured personage, has in some previous number asked for a wife. In reply he is told that ‘Nellie Vernon, twenty-two, accomplished, rather tall, dark, and considered handsome; an English Gem, nineteen, pretty, lady-like, and the daughter of an independent gentleman; Emilie R., twenty, handsome, and of good family; and Eveline de Courcy, eighteen, fair and pretty, and will have a nice fortune—wish to correspond and receive the carte-de-visite of the favoured one.’ Next comes the announcement of a forlorn swain. He tells the sympathetic readers of his[496] favourite ‘weekly’ that he ‘is twenty-three, tall, dark, and good-tempered, and has an income of £500 a year,’ and he asks to correspond with ‘a pretty and amiable young lady.’ One of the softer sex comes next. ‘Emma G., a well-informed girl of nineteen, rather dark, genteel, five feet eight inches in height, a domestic servant, is very much in want of some one to love.’ The domestic servant is, however, eclipsed by the lady whose announcement of her wishes is to be found in the same column. ‘Queen Adeline’ flies at higher game—evidently desires, in a word, one of the earls or marquises who figure so magnificently in the serial novels of the journal—and thus expresses her wishes: she is, she says, ‘tall, dark, handsome, and has £400 a year,’ and she would like to have ‘the carte-de-visite of a tall, dark, and handsome man, not too old. She is twenty-two. He must have well-formed and small hands and feet, and plenty of money.’ It is difficult to imagine that these announcements and their like are published in good faith. Of course, we can understand why ‘Emma G.’ or ‘Sergeant D.,’ a non-commissioned officer of the line, should publish their wants in this very open way; but as for the ladies and gentlemen with £400 and £500 a year, who appeal to the editor for partners for life, que diable viennent-ils faire dans cette galère? Is it possible that there are people in the world who, unless they have some irremovable stain upon their characters, find any difficulty in disposing of their incomes and themselves amongst their own friends?

In Belgravia, from about six or seven years ago, there’s an article on matrimonial ads and the replies to letters that are specific to some penny magazines. It dives deeply into the topic and offers a lot of information as well as entertainment, making a selection from it quite enjoyable. When discussing the “responses,” the writer mentions, after referring to a couple of different types: “By far the majority of correspondents are mainly focused on marriage. The London Journal is probably the publication that handles the most of this kind of business. In a single issue, there are no fewer than twenty-three paragraphs about this topic, many relating to four or five different correspondents, along with two extensive lists of announcements for wanted and received cartes-de-visite. Studying these paragraphs is both interesting and enlightening. ‘P. Y. R.,’ who appears to be a favored character, previously requested a wife. In response, he is informed that ‘Nellie Vernon, twenty-two, talented, somewhat tall, dark, and considered attractive; an English Gem, nineteen, pretty, ladylike, and the daughter of a self-sufficient gentleman; Emilie R., twenty, attractive, and from a good family; and Eveline de Courcy, eighteen, fair and pretty, and expected to have a nice fortune—wish to correspond and receive the carte-de-visite of the favored one.’ Next, there's a lonely suitor. He shares with the empathetic readers of his favorite ‘weekly’ that he ‘is twenty-three, tall, dark, good-natured, and has an income of £500 a year,’ and he asks to correspond with ‘a pretty and friendly young lady.’ Following him is one of the ladies. ‘Emma G., a knowledgeable girl of nineteen, somewhat dark, genteel, five feet eight inches tall, a domestic servant, is very much in need of someone to love.’ However, the domestic servant is overshadowed by the lady who shares her wishes in the same column. ‘Queen Adeline’ aims higher—clearly looking for one of the earls or marquises who appear so magnificently in the serialized novels of the journal—and expresses her desires thus: she states that she is ‘tall, dark, attractive, and has £400 a year,’ and she’d like to have ‘the carte-de-visite of a tall, dark, and handsome man, not too old. She is twenty-two. He must have well-formed and small hands and feet, and lots of money.’ It’s hard to believe that these announcements and similar ones are published sincerely. Of course, we can understand why ‘Emma G.’ or ‘Sergeant D.,’ a non-commissioned officer, would publicly state their needs; but as for the ladies and gentlemen with £400 and £500 a year, who appeal to the editor for lifelong partners, que diable viennent-ils faire dans cette galère? Is it conceivable that there are people out there who, unless they have some unremovable flaw in their character, encounter any challenges in finding someone to share their income and themselves among their own friends?

“This is probably a sufficiently business-like way of arranging a ‘matrimonial alliance’ for the tastes of most people, but there are even more commercial methods in existence. People who want wives or husbands sometimes find it advisable to make their wants public by advertisement—a method of proceeding which is very commonly practised in some of the northern and manufacturing districts. Matrimonial advertisements are excluded from the respectable journals of the metropolis, but the scarcely[497] less influential and respectable journals of the cotton capital insert them readily and receive the answers. They are generally very matter-of-fact—romance would, indeed, be out of place in such a connection. Now and then some of them are, however, comic enough. ‘A handsome young gentleman, aged twenty-three, wishes to correspond with a young lady with not less than £300 a year,’ was an advertisement which appeared several times in one of the journals of Cottonopolis. Whether the advertiser’s expectations were ever realised the present writer is, of course, unable to say; but from his own experience he is inclined to think it rather doubtful. Some few months back, having nothing very particular to do, he inserted an advertisement in a certain Manchester newspaper, stating that ‘a young professional man, handsome, amiable, and intelligent, and possessing an income of £500 a year, was anxious to meet with a suitable mate.’ The replies came in shoals. Within four days, between sixty and seventy letters were received, all, with one exception, evidently bonâ fide. The exception was a high-flown composition written in a disguised hand, and on paper profusely scented with musk. Of the remainder, the majority were rather touching. A great many came from servant girls, who always included two things in their applications: first, they declared that their parents were eminently respectable—generally professional men—and that it was only through family misfortunes that they had been compelled to ‘go to service;’ and secondly, they treated their correspondent to a great deal of bad spelling and worse grammar. The following is a verbatim copy of one of these communications:—‘Dear Sir. Having notised your advertizment we beg to offer ourselves. Are 2 sisters Lottie twenty one and dark hand tall and Tottie fair and pritty which I never hexpected to go to survice having always been brought up quite genteel. I am Sir Yours and c. —— ——. P.S. Please adress your letter Miss ——.’ Young ladies in shops and warehouses contributed somewhat[498] liberally to the batch of answers. They generally wrote the flashy hand taught at ‘young ladies’ seminaries,’ and sometimes quoted poetry of a tender character. The grammar of their epistles was, however, somewhat dubious, and their spelling worse than that of a charity-school boy. Strangest of all was the following, which was written in a beautifully firm and lady-like hand upon good paper:—‘I have seen your challenge to the ladies in the ——, and I fancy it must be genuine, and that you expect it to be taken up in all frankness.... I am twenty-five, and am the daughter of a solicitor. I have been well educated, and you may judge of my personal appearance by the enclosed carte-de-visite. I shall be entitled on my marriage to about £5,000 in the funds, and at my mother’s death I expect to receive a similar amount. My reason for this bold and perhaps imprudent letter is that I am tired of home, which is too stiff and formal for me. If you would like to know more about me you must give me all particulars about yourself. Write to Miss ——, under cover to ——.’ The portrait enclosed was that of a really handsome girl of about the age mentioned in the letter. The name given was one not altogether unknown to the writer, and the person under cover to whom the reply was to be sent was evidently a servant. It need scarcely be said that the matter went no further, and that the carte was returned forthwith. Still, it is rather melancholy to think of what may be the fate of this girl. She evidently suspected no harm, and she confided in an utter stranger with singular frankness and simplicity. In all human probability she would become the prey of the first fortune-hunting scoundrel who came across her path, unless she had, as the writer sincerely hopes, a big brother with a strong arm and a thick stick.”

“This is probably a pretty business-like way of arranging a ‘marriage deal’ for most people, but there are even more transactional methods out there. People looking for wives or husbands sometimes find it helpful to advertise their needs—a method that’s quite common in some northern and industrial areas. Matrimonial ads are left out of the respectable magazines in the big city, but the almost as influential and respectable papers in the cotton city readily publish them and handle the responses. They’re usually very straightforward—romance is definitely not the focus here. Every now and then, some of them are amusing. ‘A handsome young gentleman, aged twenty-three, wishes to correspond with a young lady who earns at least £300 a year,’ was an ad that appeared multiple times in one of the Cottonopolis journals. Whether the advertiser’s hopes were ever fulfilled, the current writer can’t say for sure; however, from his own experience, he suspects it’s somewhat unlikely. A few months ago, with not much to do, he posted an ad in a certain Manchester newspaper stating that ‘a young professional man, handsome, friendly, and smart, and earning £500 a year, was eager to find a suitable partner.’ The responses flooded in. Within four days, around sixty to seventy letters arrived, all but one clearly genuine. The one exception was a dramatic letter written in disguised handwriting on paper heavily scented with musk. Of the others, most were quite touching. Many of the replies came from maidservants, who always included two points in their letters: first, they claimed their parents were very respectable—usually professional people—and that it was only due to family misfortunes that they had been forced to ‘go into service’; and second, they treated their correspondent to a lot of bad spelling and worse grammar. Here’s a verbatim copy of one such letter: ‘Dear Sir. Having noticed your advertisement, we beg to offer ourselves. We are 2 sisters: Lottie, twenty-one, dark-haired, tall; and Tottie, fair and pretty, who I never expected to go to service having always been brought up quite genteel. I am, Sir, Yours, etc. ———. P.S. Please address your letter to Miss ——.’ Young women in shops and warehouses also added quite a few responses. They typically wrote in the flowery handwriting taught in ‘young ladies’ seminaries’ and sometimes quoted touchy poetry. However, their grammar was a bit shaky, and their spelling worse than that of a charity-school boy. The strangest of all was the following, which was written in a beautifully firm and feminine handwriting on nice paper: ‘I have seen your challenge to the ladies in the ——, and I think it must be real, and that you expect it to be taken seriously.... I am twenty-five, and I am the daughter of a solicitor. I have had a good education, and you can judge of my looks by the enclosed photograph. I will be entitled to about £5,000 in investments upon my marriage, and when my mother passes away, I expect to receive a similar amount. The reason for this direct and maybe foolish letter is that I am tired of home, which is too stiff and formal for me. If you’d like to know more about me, you must provide all your details. Write to Miss ——, under cover to ——.’ The enclosed photo was of a genuinely attractive girl around the mentioned age. The name given was one the writer recognized and the person designated to receive the reply was clearly a servant. It goes without saying that nothing more came of it, and the photo was promptly returned. Still, it’s rather sad to think about what may happen to this girl. She evidently suspected no ill intentions and confided in a complete stranger with remarkable openness and simplicity. Most likely, she would fall victim to the first fortune-hunting rogue who crossed her path, unless she had, as the writer sincerely hopes, a big brother with a strong arm and a thick stick.”

We have before us at the present moment an accumulation of the very extraordinary applications for wives and husbands which are constantly appearing in the cheap publications[499] of the day, but the specimens already given will doubtless be found sufficient for the purpose. Two from our heap, however, we feel in duty bound to give, not because they are very different from the rest we have garnered, but because they are fair samples of a style often adopted by the Benedicks and Beatrices of the London Journal. One is from a lady and the other from a gentleman. Let us take the lady first:—

We currently have a collection of the quite unusual requests for wives and husbands that keep appearing in today's cheap publications[499], but the examples we've provided so far should be enough for the purpose. However, we feel compelled to share two from our pile, not because they differ much from the others we've gathered, but because they're good examples of a style commonly used by the Benedicks and Beatrices of the London Journal. One is from a woman and the other from a man. Let's start with the woman first:—

Agenoria says that she has natural golden-brown hair, fair oval face, laughing mischievous eyes, dark arched eyebrows, roguish expression of countenance, is eighteen, ladylike, sensible, merry, good-natured, highly respectable, and has good expectations. She longs to be married to a tall, studious, benevolent, affectionate, well-principled gentleman, who would think it a pleasure to instruct and assist her endeavours to obtain a thorough knowledge of English, French, and drawing; and in return she would try to be an apt pupil, and a loving and obedient wife.

Agenoria describes herself as having natural golden-brown hair, a fair oval face, playful mischievous eyes, dark arched eyebrows, and a cheeky expression. She's eighteen, ladylike, sensible, cheerful, kind-hearted, highly respectable, and has good prospects. She dreams of marrying a tall, studious, kind, affectionate, and principled gentleman who would enjoy teaching and helping her achieve a solid understanding of English, French, and drawing. In return, she would strive to be a quick learner and a loving, obedient wife.

The pseudonyms adopted by these young ladies are often provokingly funny: sometimes loving hearts take the name of a favourite heroine, whose virtues and temptations, joys and sorrows, are at the time attracting their attention in the Journal; but sometimes they take higher flights, and in attempting high-sounding names they have heard, succeed in inventing others, just as the old chemists, in trying to discover the philosopher’s stone, found things much more valuable—with the difference, of course, that the new titles are only valuable to future writers of the fiction believed in most by the fair correspondents. Agenoria requires a good deal, but her effort is of the weakest compared with that of our next friend, who, provided he had a big stick, would prove himself a true hero—say on a box of eggs:—

The nicknames chosen by these young women are often hilariously amusing: sometimes they take on the name of a beloved heroine, whose qualities and struggles, joys and pains, are currently capturing their interest in the Journal; but other times they aim for grander titles, and in trying to use impressive names they've heard, they end up creating new ones, much like the old chemists who, while searching for the philosopher’s stone, stumbled upon even more valuable things—with the key difference that these new names are only useful for future writers of the fiction most believed in by these charming correspondents. Agenoria demands a lot, but her attempt pales in comparison to that of our next friend, who, if he had a big stick, would prove himself a true hero—let's say on a box of eggs:—

L. S. W., twenty-one, dark, and considered handsome, lithe in figure, of the medium height, and of a good family, would like to receive the carte-de-visite of a young lady, a blond preferred. He is shortly going abroad, probably to Mexico, or some of the republics adjacent, where he intends to make a name and fortune. He is very ambitious, and intends joining an army where there is active service. He wants a wife who would encourage his plans and undertakings. One who would[500] share with him the toils of a camp life, or who would rule in Courts. One who would receive homage from the savage tribes of Northern and Central America, or would maintain her husband’s position as an officer and gentleman of honour both at home and at Court. He is of a very loving disposition, though rather hasty, and to a lady who would do as he wished he would be an affectionate, loving husband, companion, and protector.

L. S. W., twenty-one, dark and considered handsome, slim and of medium height, from a good family, would like to receive the photo of a young lady, preferably a blonde. He is planning to go abroad soon, likely to Mexico or one of the nearby republics, where he aims to make a name for himself and achieve wealth. He is very ambitious and intends to join an army where there is active duty. He wants a wife who would support his goals and endeavors, someone who would share the challenges of camp life or who could take charge in social settings. He envisions a partner who would earn respect from the indigenous tribes of Northern and Central America, or who would uphold her husband’s status as an officer and a man of honor both at home and in society. He is very affectionate, though somewhat quick-tempered, and to a lady who would follow his lead, he would be a caring, loving husband, companion, and protector.

That matrimonial clubs or agencies are still in existence is shown by a case tried quite recently before Sir James Hannen in the Divorce Court—a wife’s petition for a judicial separation on the ground of her husband’s cruelty. The counsel for the petitioner stated that she was a lady of property, residing in Liverpool, and that the respondent was a clerk in a firm in the same town. He was a member of a Matrimonial Club, whose object was to secure for its members wives with good fortunes; and as an instance of what kind of alliances result from the interference of these establishments, we give some of the evidence. The respondent, whose chief object was to get money, was very violent on finding soon after the marriage that his wife had not nearly so much as he had anticipated. He was guilty of drunkenness and assaults, and treated his wife in a very brutal manner. The petitioner said that her father died on Christmas Day, 1866. On his death she had an income of £400 for her separate use. She made the acquaintance of the respondent some two or three years before, and he was at that time a clerk in a firm of shipbrokers. At the marriage no settlement was made; but a few days after the respondent asked for any papers she might have. She gave him them. She had £675 in a building society, and he wrote out a form that she signed, and the money was transferred to him. He often said that £400 per annum was a very paltry sum, and that if he had a few thousands he could go into business. Petitioner’s mother had a considerable sum, and her name being the same, had led the defendant into the error of marrying a woman with only a “paltry £400 a year,” instead of a lot of ready money. Soon after[501] the marriage he took to drinking, and was violent in his language. The latter, the petitioner believed, arose from his being disappointed at the smallness of her fortune. She found a letter of a very immoral character addressed to her husband. She was much annoyed, and sent the letter to the office. When the respondent returned he brought a friend with him, and used most violent language. After the friend had gone to bed the respondent pulled her on to the floor, bit her in the neck, ground her beads into powder, and bit a piece out of a glass. This latter act, it must be admitted, is a rather novel way of showing disappointment, even in matters like these. The friend was at once called for, and assisted to hold the disappointed man down. In August 1870 defendant tore a piece of skin from her arm. He had been drinking for some time, and tried to prevent her seeing her mother, who only lived a few hundred yards away. The mother was doubtless a sore point with him. He said that once a month was often enough to see her, but witness went more frequently. The family doctor saw the injuries which she sustained. In the same month the respondent called her very foul names, and threatened to strangle her and throw her out of the window. His threats were so violent that she never expected to see the morning. On one occasion he came home drunk, and partook of three large bottles of champagne. This would be a dangerous experiment for a sober man to make in these degenerate days. Afterwards he fell backwards, and she had to stay with him all night. In March 1871 she went to her mother’s to tea, and when she returned he used very bad language, and made all sorts of charges about her conduct, which were false. When sober, he said she ought not to take any notice of this. Her first child was born in 1870, and her medical adviser told her to go away. She was anxious to take the child with her, which her husband would not allow, and during her absence he sent it from home. On hearing of this she at once returned, and he refused to tell her where[502] the child was, until she wrote a letter which he forced her to write. On a Sunday after this he returned home drunk, and when she remonstrated with him, he said that he was not half drunk, but soon would be so. He then took the decanters out of the cupboard, and threw them at her. This was, to say the least, eccentric, as a means to the end of drunkenness. She was so frightened at his conduct that she had to seek protection amongst neighbours. On the 20th of December witness was in the house alone with respondent, who threatened to kill her, stating that he often wished to do so, and now that they were alone there was a good opportunity. He then got hold of the carving-knife, and stood over her with it. He then said that would not do, but a pistol or razor would. Corroborative evidence as to the violence was given by the doctor who attended the petitioner, and noticed bruises on her; and by a servant who formerly lived with the parties to the suit. His lordship granted a decree of judicial separation, with costs, the wife to have the custody of the child. Marriage for money and money alone, without any consideration as to whether the contracting persons are at all suited to each other, is almost bound to end in unpleasantness, more especially when the fortune-hunter finds that he has married the daughter instead of the mother, and has only a “paltry £400 a year” and a little ready money to subsist on.

That marriage clubs or agencies still exist is evident from a recent case tried before Sir James Hannen in the Divorce Court—a wife’s petition for a legal separation due to her husband's cruelty. The lawyer for the petitioner stated that she was a woman of means living in Liverpool, and that the respondent was a clerk in a local firm. He was a member of a marriage club aimed at helping its members find wives with substantial fortunes; as an example of the type of unions these establishments create, we present some of the evidence. The respondent, whose primary goal was to obtain money, became very aggressive upon discovering shortly after their marriage that his wife had far less money than he had expected. He was guilty of drunkenness and physical assaults, treating his wife in a brutal manner. The petitioner mentioned that her father passed away on Christmas Day, 1866, leaving her with an income of £400 for her personal use. She had met the respondent a couple of years earlier when he was employed as a clerk in a shipping company. No settlement was made at the time of their marriage; however, shortly after, the respondent asked for any financial documents she had. She provided them, revealing she had £675 in a building society, which he then filled out a form for her to sign, transferring the funds to him. He often remarked that £400 a year was a mere pittance and claimed that if he had a few thousand pounds, he could start a business. The petitioner’s mother had a considerable amount of money, and sharing the same last name misled the defendant into mistakenly believing he was marrying a woman with a substantial fortune rather than just a “meager £400 a year.” Shortly after the wedding, he began drinking and became verbally abusive. The petitioner believed this behavior stemmed from his disappointment in her limited fortune. She found a letter of a highly inappropriate nature addressed to her husband, which upset her, leading her to send it to his workplace. When the respondent returned home, he brought a friend and used incredibly harsh language. After the friend went to bed, the respondent violently pulled her to the floor, bit her on the neck, crushed her beads into powder, and even bit a piece out of a glass. This reaction, it must be acknowledged, is quite an unusual way to express disappointment in a situation like this. The friend was immediately called upon to help restrain the frustrated man. In August 1870, the defendant ripped a piece of skin from her arm. He had been drinking heavily and tried to stop her from visiting her mother, who lived just a few hundred yards away. Her mother was undoubtedly a source of tension for him. He insisted that once a month was enough to see her, while the petitioner visited much more often. Their family doctor observed her injuries. That same month, the respondent called her vile names and threatened to strangle her and throw her out the window. His threats were so severe that she feared for her life. One night, he returned home drunk after consuming three large bottles of champagne. This would be a risky move for even a sober person to attempt in today's world. Later, he fell backward, and she had to stay with him all night. In March 1871, she went to her mother’s for tea, and upon her return, he used foul language and made various false accusations about her behavior. When sober, he said she shouldn't pay attention to his earlier rants. Their first child was born in 1870, and her doctor advised her to leave. She wanted to take the child with her, but her husband refused and sent the baby away during her absence. Upon learning this, she rushed back home, but he wouldn't tell her where the child was until she wrote a letter he forced her to compose. One Sunday afterward, he came home drunk, and when she confronted him, he responded that he was not even half drunk yet, but would be soon. He then retrieved the decanters from the cupboard and hurled them at her. This was, at the very least, an eccentric approach to intoxication. Frightened by his behavior, she sought refuge with neighbors. On December 20, she was alone in the house with the respondent, who threatened to kill her, admitting he often wished to do so, and saw their being alone as a good opportunity. He then grabbed a carving knife and hovered over her with it. He later stated that a pistol or razor would be more appropriate. Supporting evidence of the violence was provided by the doctor who treated the petitioner and noted her bruises, as well as by a servant who had previously lived with the couple. His lordship granted a decree of judicial separation, with costs, allowing the wife custody of the child. Marrying solely for money, without considering whether the individuals are well-matched, is likely to end in conflict, especially when the fortune-seeker discovers he has married the daughter instead of the mother, ending up with just a “meager £400 a year” and a little cash to survive on.

There is at the present time in London a weekly newspaper specially devoted to the interests of those who wish to marry or to give in marriage, and as the copy we have before us under date May 9, 1874, is numbered 214, and is full of advertisements all referring to the holy state of matrimony, it is to be presumed that the supply is caused by a most undoubted demand for an organ of intercommunication between kindred souls which scorn to be trammelled by ordinary social restrictions, or to which conventionalities can bring no balm. Love is a fierce flame, and people who feel it burning within them, and know no[503] object on whom to bestow the priceless blessing, are apt to try any short cut that offers itself, instead of biding their time and going the ordinary slow-coach road which lumbering old-fashioned etiquette suggests. Therefore we take up our paper with interest, and receive with pleasure the intimation that it is “a weekly journal devoted to the promotion of marriage and conjugal felicity.” We say pleasure advisedly, for most editors would have been satisfied to promote marriage, and have let the subsequent felicity look after itself. We must admit that we fail to find any further reference to the future happiness of couples in our copy; perhaps it is to be secured by a regular supply of the newspaper, so that those already done for may see how the remaining lovers are getting on. On the front page there are ten “rules and regulations” to be complied with by advertisers, the most important of which seems to be that “bona fide notices from ladies and gentlemen desirous of marrying will be inserted at the rate of twelve stamps per forty words,” with a reduction by taking a quantity, and that “all introductions are given on the understanding that the lady and gentleman shall each pay a fee to the editor within a month after marriage.” Why these are called rules and regulations we don’t pretend to know. The editor also offers, as one of the rules, to give advice on the subject of courtship or marriage, by which it would appear that he has had an extended experience of both. Yet this supposition is hardly borne out by a request—also one of the ten regulations—for contributions “calculated to enlighten the public mind in reference to marriage and other kindred subjects.” Maybe, great as is the editor’s own knowledge of marriage “and other kindred subjects,” he cannot write equal to the demands of such a topic. Certainly he and his advertisers have the most original ideas of both orthography and syntax. Maybe also, the “address to the public,” which adds to the front-page glories,[504] has been enough for him in the way of hard literary labour. It is certainly very nice, though short; and we regret that no such cunning hand could be obtained to give a few opening lines for the present chapter. But better late than never, and so we will borrow the “address” now. “Marriage,” says the editor, “is such an ancient institution, and has in all ages excited such universal interest among the human family, that in offering to the public a journal specially devoted to the promotion of marital felicity, we feel sure we are only supplying a national want. Civilisation, combined with the cold formalities of society and the rules of etiquette, imposes such restrictions on the sexes, that there are thousands of marriageable men and women, of all ages, capable of making each other happy, who never have a chance of meeting, either in town or country; therefore, the desirability of having some organ through which ladies and gentlemen aspiring to marriage can be honourably brought into communication, is too obvious to need demonstration; and as we are resolved to devote our best energies to advance the interests and happiness of our readers and correspondents, we feel sure the Matrimonial News will meet with a generous support.” This appeal seems to have met with a good response, as there are no less than 331 advertisements of various lengths, all relating to marriage, in the number before us. It is noticeable, however, that many of them have a striking family likeness, and a peculiarity of constructive style is evidenced by a great number in each column. It is hardly fair to suppose that half-a-dozen ladies of forty anxious for husbands would describe themselves as orphans, yet we find no less than eight ladies in one page, all content with that classification, whose united ages amount to 313 years, one being thirty-five, another thirty-eight, and six admitting to be forty each; but these are insignificant compared with a poor young thing who appears close by, and whose application runs thus:—

There is currently in London a weekly newspaper specifically dedicated to the interests of people who want to marry or find a partner for marriage. The copy we have in front of us, dated May 9, 1874, is number 214 and is packed with ads all centered around the sacred institution of matrimony. This suggests that there is a clear demand for a platform to connect kindred spirits who reject typical social norms, or to whom traditional expectations offer no comfort. Love is an intense force, and those who feel it burning inside them without a specific person to share it with often look for shortcuts instead of patiently following the outdated processes suggested by tedious etiquette. Therefore, we pick up this paper with interest and are pleased to see it promoted as “a weekly journal dedicated to fostering marriage and marital happiness.” We say "pleased" intentionally, as many editors would have aimed to simply promote marriage, leaving the subsequent happiness to chance. We must admit that we don’t find any further mentions of future happiness for couples in our copy; perhaps that will come from a steady reading of the newspaper, enabling those already coupled to see how the others are faring. On the front page, there are ten “rules and regulations” for advertisers, with the most important being that “bona fide” notices from individuals looking to marry will be published at the rate of twelve stamps per forty words, with bulk discounts available, and that “all introductions are made on the understanding that both parties must each pay a fee to the editor within a month after marriage.” Why these are called rules and regulations, we can’t say. The editor also promises to provide advice on courtship or marriage, implying he has significant experience in both areas. Yet this assumption is somewhat challenged by a request—also one of the ten regulations—for contributions “designed to enlighten the public about marriage and related subjects.” Perhaps, despite the editor's substantial knowledge about marriage and similar topics, he isn’t able to write to the standards required for such a discussion. Certainly, he and his advertisers possess very unique ideas about both spelling and grammar. It's also possible that the “address to the public” featured prominently on the front page has been enough literary labor for him. It is indeed quite nice but short; we wish there was a talented enough writer to provide a few opening lines for this chapter. But better late than never, so we'll borrow the “address” now. “Marriage,” the editor states, “is such an ancient institution and has always generated universal interest among humanity, that by offering a journal dedicated to promoting marital happiness, we believe we’re only meeting a national need. Civilization, along with the rigid formality of society and etiquette rules, places many restrictions on the sexes, meaning there are thousands of eligible men and women of all ages who could make each other happy but never get a chance to meet, whether in the city or country. Thus, the necessity of having a platform through which individuals seeking marriage can connect honorably is too obvious to require further explanation; and since we are committed to using our best efforts to enhance the interests and happiness of our readers and correspondents, we are confident that the Matrimonial News will receive generous support.” This appeal seems to have been well-received, as there are 331 ads of varying lengths, all related to marriage, in this issue. Notably, many of them share distinct similarities, revealing a peculiar style of construction common among several in each column. It seems unlikely that half a dozen ladies in their forties looking for husbands would all describe themselves as orphans, yet we find eight ladies on one page who are satisfied with that description, collectively totaling 313 years—one is thirty-five, another is thirty-eight, and six claim to be forty each. However, these are minor compared to one young woman nearby, whose ad reads as follows:

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[505]

227 AN orphan LADY, aged 52, of good connexions, and an income of £160 a year, wishes to hear from a gentleman not under 60. Address with Editor.

227N orphan woman, 52 years old, from a respectable background, with an income of £160 a year, is looking to hear from a gentleman who is at least 60. Please respond to the Editor.

This orphan business may be partly an intimation that there are no mothers-in-law to fear, besides being an appeal to the charitable to prevent giddy young creatures straying into harm’s way. The columns of this unique journal are also strong in the military, several colonels and some other officers being anxious to commit matrimony.

This orphan business might partly suggest that there are no mothers-in-law to worry about, and it also serves as a call for kindness to help prevent carefree young people from getting into trouble. The pages of this one-of-a-kind journal also feature many military figures, with several colonels and other officers eager to get married.

From 331 advertisements, all peculiar, it is hard to make anything like a judicial selection; but there are a few specimens we have determined on giving, even though others must suffer and be left in the cold shade of neglect. We will commence with

From 331 ads, all unusual, it's tough to make any kind of fair selection; but we've decided to present a few examples, even though others will be overlooked and left in the shadow of neglect. We'll start with

245 A WIDOWER, aged 60, healthy and active, with a business of about £150 a year, wishes to correspond with a well educated lady, from 40 to 50 with a view to early marriage. Address with Editor.

245 AWidower, 60 years old, healthy and active, with a business income of around £150 a year, is looking to connect with an educated woman aged 40 to 50 for the purpose of early marriage. Please contact the Editor.

This will doubtless throw a new light on the question of early marriages, which seems to have been hitherto handled in a selfish and one-sided manner. Sixty and fifty can hardly ever be “too early wed.” Next we come upon

This will surely shed new light on the issue of early marriages, which appears to have been dealt with in a self-serving and biased way until now. Sixty and fifty can rarely be considered "too early to marry." Next we come upon

124 CATHLEEN, aged 30, a Widow LADY, without children, income £7,000, residing in a handsome house, surrounded by a park of 200 acres, within 50 miles of London, would correspond with a Nobleman or Gentleman of position, with a view to marriage. Address with Editor.

124 CATHLEEN, 30 years old, a widowed lady with no kids, earning £7,000, living in a beautiful house set in a 200-acre park, within 50 miles of London, is interested in corresponding with a nobleman or gentleman of good standing for the purpose of marriage. Please send replies to the editor.

Probably there are many noblemen and gentlemen with whom Cathleen mixes in daily intercourse who do not dream that she wishes to be married again, and she is of course too much a lady to let them know the state of her feelings. Which accounts for her confiding in the editor, who must be a perfect Pantechnicon of secrets. The intelligent foreigner is not blind to the advantages of advertising for what he requires, as witness

Probably there are many noblemen and gentlemen that Cathleen interacts with daily who don’t realize that she wants to get married again, and of course, she’s too much of a lady to let them know how she feels. This is why she shares her thoughts with the editor, who must be a perfect storage house of secrets. The savvy foreigner isn’t oblivious to the benefits of putting out an ad for what he needs, as evidence shows.

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[506]

9982 A Spanish GENTLEMAN, aged 30 years, residing at Seville (Andalusia), tall, good looking, very swell, rather a meriodinal type, an income of £1,000. He knows English thoroughly, and would like to correspond with the following ladies: Nos. 9442, 9697, 9646, and 9710. Address with Editor.

9982 ASpanish GENTLEMAN, 30 years old, living in Seville (Andalusia), tall, attractive, quite stylish, somewhat of a Mediterranean type, with an income of £1,000. He is fluent in English and would like to correspond with the following ladies: Nos. 9442, 9697, 9646, and 9710. Please send replies to the Editor.

He knows English better than we do in England, if he understands what a “meriodinal type” is; and the editor doesn’t offer to explain. But the latter is evidently too interested in the following to trouble himself with small and foreign fry:—

He knows English better than we do in England if he knows what a “meriodinal type” is; and the editor doesn’t bother to explain. But the editor is clearly too interested in what comes next to worry about small and foreign fry:—

195 A BACHELOR, 32, height 6 feet, strong, fair and considered good looking, closely connected with nobility, and moving in the best county society, one brother inherits entailed estates and two in the army, a member of one of the most particular west-end clubs, residence family mansion beautifully situated on the bank of a large river, disposition amiable and energetic, would not mind getting married, if I could meet a suitable wife. She must be of a loveable disposition, good figure and pleasing face, and have a fortune of not less than £10,000 to enable me to buy out the other partner in a large manufactory which cost £23,000, and yealds over £3,000 per annum, without which I will not become a benedict for years. Would like communicate with 9920, 9852, or 9803. Address L. M. A., Editor M. N., 282, Strand.

195 ABach degree, 32, 6 feet tall, strong, fair, and considered attractive, well-connected with nobility and active in the best social circles, has one brother inheriting family estates and two in the military. A member of one of the most exclusive clubs in the West End, lives in a family mansion beautifully located by a large river. He has an amiable and energetic personality and is open to marriage if he can find the right woman. She should have a lovable nature, a good figure, and a pleasing face, with a fortune of at least £10,000 to help him buy out his partner in a large factory that costs £23,000 and brings in over £3,000 a year. Without this, he won't consider marrying for years. Interested individuals can reach out to 9920, 9852, or 9803. Address L. M. A., Editor M. N., 282, Strand.

These figures refer, of course, to young ladies who have advertised for the connections of the nobility in previous numbers. When the School Board has done with the children of costermongers and other plebeians, it will have to turn its attention to the members of particular West-End clubs, whose education seems to have been somewhat neglected, so far as grammar is concerned. Should the fair creatures referred to by L. M. A. be already suited, or the inducements held out be insufficient for them, our next may be worthy of his attention:—

These numbers refer, of course, to young women who have sought connections with the nobility in earlier editions. Once the School Board has finished with the children of street vendors and other common folks, it will need to focus on the members of certain West-End clubs, whose grammar education appears to have been a bit lacking. If the lovely individuals mentioned by L. M. A. are already taken, or if the offers made aren’t appealing enough for them, our next candidate might catch his attention:—

284 A Young LADY, tall, fair, and beautiful, with a great profusion of golden hair, and an income of £800 a year, wishes to correspond with a gentleman of position with a view to marriage. Editor has address.

284 AYouth WOMAN, tall, fair, and beautiful, with a lot of golden hair, and an income of £800 a year, wants to connect with a gentleman of status for the purpose of marriage. Editor has the address.

Quite a modern Miss Kilmansegg, with the advantage of[507] having the typical adornment in the shape of golden hair instead of a golden leg. This reference to poetry is of great advantage, as it puts us in a proper frame to consider the following:—

Quite a modern Miss Kilmansegg, with the perk of having the typical accessory in the form of golden hair instead of a golden leg. This mention of poetry is very helpful, as it sets us up to think about the following:—

“Oh, woman, in our moments of comfort,
Uncertain, shy, and difficult to satisfy; When pain or illness strikes the forehead,
"A ministering angel you are."

9828 A Young WIDOW, highly connected, dark hair and eyes, considered pretty, good income, desires to marry, she does not deny that she might at times realize the two first lines of the couplet quoted above, but she can assure any gentleman willing to make the experiment that she is as certain to be true to the conclusion. Address with Editor.

9828 AYouthful WIDOW, well-connected, with dark hair and eyes, considered attractive, has a good income, wants to marry. She doesn’t deny that she might sometimes live up to the first two lines of the couplet mentioned above, but she can guarantee any gentleman willing to take a chance that she will definitely be true to the outcome. Contact the Editor.

Even Scott has to succumb to the grammatical requirements of the marriage advocate and its readers; but the alteration from the original is as nothing compared with the reference to “the two first lines of the couplet.” There is poetry of a different kind in the next specimen, which deserves particular attention:—

Even Scott has to give in to the grammatical demands of the marriage advocate and its readers; however, the change from the original is trivial compared to the mention of “the two first lines of the couplet.” The next example contains a different kind of poetry that deserves special attention:—

45 I am a BACHELOR, 28, tall and gentlemanly. My income being £150 only (though prospects good), I seek an amiable, educated wife, with private means. Should 10,000, 9920, 9851, 9960, Geraldine, Miss Kate, Miss Maxwell, 9852, 9828, 9878, 9885, or other lady under 28, with at least £2,000 in own control, deem my position compatible with her views, I should much like to correspond. I am well educated, of refined and intellectual tastes, fond of literature and home, of sound moral principles, eschewing smoking, drinking, gambling, and all fast life delusions, of undoubted respectability, unquestionable honour and integrity, of equable temper, and kind, generous heart. Believing a true wife to be man’s greatest blessing, I fully intend being a good husband or none at all, and shall treat my wife not merely with the courtesy due to a lady, but with the respectful consideration to a woman. As this is bona fide, inviolable honour observed and expected. Particulars of age, income, and disposition respectfully solicited. Address with Editor.

45 Iam a 28-year-old bachelor, tall and gentlemanly. My income is only £150 (though my prospects are good), and I'm looking for a friendly, educated wife with some personal wealth. If any lady under 28, including those with the names 10,000, 9920, 9851, 9960, Geraldine, Miss Kate, Miss Maxwell, 9852, 9828, 9878, 9885, or others, has at least £2,000 of her own that she controls and thinks my situation aligns with her views, I would love to correspond. I have a good education, refined tastes, enjoy literature and home life, and have strong moral values. I avoid smoking, drinking, gambling, and all the distractions of a fast lifestyle. I am definitely respectable, with unquestionable honor and integrity, a calm demeanor, and a kind, generous heart. I believe that a true wife is a man’s greatest blessing, and I fully intend to be a good husband or not at all. I will treat my wife with the respect and consideration she deserves. This is sincere, with inviolable honor expected. I would appreciate details about age, income, and character. Please address correspondence to the Editor.

O true poetic soul longing for a mate! O noble heart of undoubted respectability and unquestionable honour![508] may you go on and prosper! Even teetotalism can be fervid, and an equable temper may become quickened, when matrimony stirs up the feelings; and so catching is the impulse, that we should like to fold this young man to our breast, and present him with our favourite daughter. But she hasn’t got £2000, and so, regretting the circumstance, we pass on to

O true poetic soul searching for a partner! O noble heart of undeniable respectability and unquestionable honor![508] May you continue to thrive! Even being a teetotaler can be passionate, and a calm demeanor can become animated when marriage stirs up emotions; and the urge is so compelling that we wish we could take this young man into our arms and give him our beloved daughter. But she doesn’t have £2000, and so, regretting this fact, we move on to

8672 A PHYSICIAN of noble lineage (of French and English extraction), of statue about 5ft. 8 inches, aged 36 years, of dark complexion, with black hair and eyes, possessing a strong and healthy constitution, desires to form the acquaintance, with a view to matrimony, of a Lady from 19 to 23 or 24 years, who must be of a noble family or the upper class; brunette preferred, if not of a medium complexion with black or dark hair, and eyes having a fine physique, with some embonpoint, pretty, of an affectione disposition, with a heart true and loving, talented, speaking or understanding French and Italian, or the other foreign languages; in height about 5 feet 6 to 8 inches. Also must possess in her own right considerable fortune, and having no incumbrance preferred. In effect a Girl who can ever love a man with an affectionate disposition. Photograph and address with Editor.

8672 ADOCTOR from a noble background (of French and English descent), about 5ft. 8 inches tall, 36 years old, with a dark complexion, black hair, and eyes, and having a strong, healthy build, is looking to meet a Lady aged 19 to 23 or 24, preferably from a noble family or the upper class. A brunette is preferred, but medium complexion with black or dark hair and nice eyes is acceptable. She should have a pleasing figure, be somewhat curvy, attractive, affectionate, loyal, talented, and able to speak or understand French, Italian, or other foreign languages; height should be around 5 feet 6 to 8 inches. She must have significant wealth of her own and preferably no obligations. Ultimately, he seeks a girl who can genuinely love a man with a kind nature. Please send a photograph and contact information to the Editor.

This noble physician evidently wishes for a wife whom he may eventually stuff and exhibit, even if he does not take her “round the country” during life. Few people would object to paying sixpence or so to see, among other things, eyes having a fine physique; and so we trust 8672 may get the wife he wishes for. She would, however, if existent, as a matter of natural selection prefer our next friend, and then they could mutually rejoice over each other’s tastes and peculiarities:—

This noble doctor clearly wants a wife he can eventually showcase, even if he doesn’t take her “on the road” while she’s alive. Not many people would mind paying a few pennies to see, among other things, those with a striking appearance; so we hope 8672 gets the wife he desires. However, if she existed, she would, by nature's design, likely prefer our next friend, and then they could both enjoy each other’s preferences and quirks:—

9971 VEGETARIAN, a young man who does not use flesh as food; a Roman Catholic, humble, well-educated, and connected. A lover of temperance, truth, literature, fruit, flowers, and economy, income about £80 a year, wishes for a wife with similar tastes, principles, and income, or as nearly so as possible.—The address with Editor.

9971 VVEGETARIAN, a young man who doesn't eat meat; a Roman Catholic, humble, well-educated, and well-connected. He values moderation, honesty, literature, fruit, flowers, and thrift, earns about £80 a year, and is looking for a wife with similar interests, values, and income, or as close as possible.—The address with Editor.

The fact of being connected is such an entirely new[509] qualification, that we feel compelled to pause and wonder; and this will be an opportunity for withdrawing from a perusal which is very fascinating, but which threatens to prolong this chapter unduly. There are many more noticeable advertisements, but those we have given will be sufficient to show the character of the newspaper from which we have selected them, as well as the credulity of its public, who are either gulled into paying for matrimonial applications, or deluded into purchasing it in the hope that by its means husbands or wives may be secured. That Oxford “double firsts,” Cambridge wranglers, members of Parliament, military and naval officers of high rank, peers of the realm, and beneficed clergymen, would send twaddling and ungrammatical advertisements to this paper, so as to secure wives, we no more believe than we do that eminent authoresses and ladies of rank and property would avail themselves of its services to secure to themselves husbands. If we are wrong, and these advertisements are all bonâ fide, and what they profess to be, then a paternal Government, which legislates against betting and strong drink, which puts a tax on quack medicines, and subscribes to compulsory education, should fulfil its métier by preventing the public exposure of idiotcy we have just been contemplating, more especially as no good can possibly be the outcome of it.

The fact that people are connected is such a completely new aspect that we feel the need to pause and think about it; this gives us a chance to take a break from reading something that is really interesting but might drag this chapter on for too long. There are many more obvious ads, but the ones we've covered are enough to illustrate the nature of the newspaper we’ve chosen, as well as the gullibility of its audience, who are either tricked into paying for marriage applications or misled into buying it with the hope that they’ll find husbands or wives through it. We find it just as hard to believe that Oxford “double firsts,” Cambridge wranglers, high-ranking military and naval officers, peers of the realm, and clergy with positions would post silly and ungrammatical ads in this paper to find wives, as we do that distinguished female authors and women of high status and wealth would use its services to find husbands. If we’re mistaken, and these ads are all genuine and exactly what they claim to be, then a caring government, which legislates against gambling and alcohol, imposes a tax on quack medicines, and advocates for compulsory education, should fulfill its duty by stopping the public display of the foolishness we've just observed, especially since no good can possibly come from it.


[46] This Mrs Cornelys was a notoriety of the period. She lived at Carlisle House, Soho Square, where she, coming from Germany, of which country she was a native, settled in or about 1756. Her business was to entertain “the votaries of fashion of both sexes” with masked and other balls, and suchlike festivities. Mrs Cornelys seems to have thoroughly understood the advantages of judicious puffery, and her advertisements usually appeared as news paragraphs. On February 18, 1763, there appeared a good specimen of the kind of notice she most affected. It says, “On Saturday last Mrs Cornelys gave a ball at Carlisle House, to the upper servants of persons of fashion, as a token of the sense she has of her obligations to the nobility and gentry, for their generous subscription to her assembly. The company consisted of 220 persons, who made up fourscore couple in country dances; and as scarce anybody was idle on this occasion, the rest sat down to cards.” Carlisle House was kept open by means of annual subscriptions, and the fast young men of the period, and not a few older sinners, patronised the establishment. Rules and regulations were published, and from them we learn that members’ tickets were transferable provided the name of the holder was written on the back. There are in the papers between 1757 and 1772 frequent references to the grand doings at this notorious place of assignation; but notwithstanding all her customers and her various ways of making money, Mrs Cornelys’s name appears in a Gazette of November in the latter year among the bankrupts. She is described as “Teresa Cornelys, Carlisle House, St Ann, Soho, dealer.” This, however, says very little as to her success or the want of it, for bankruptcy meant anything but ruin a hundred years ago, if one had only money enough to break properly.

[46] Mrs. Cornelys was a well-known figure of her time. She lived at Carlisle House in Soho Square, having moved from Germany around 1756. Her business was to host masked balls and other events for fashionable people of both genders. Mrs. Cornelys clearly knew how to promote herself, as her advertisements often appeared disguised as news items. On February 18, 1763, one such advertisement stated, “Last Saturday, Mrs. Cornelys held a ball at Carlisle House for the upper servants of fashionable people, as a way to show her appreciation for their generous support of her assemblies. The event attracted 220 guests, who formed 80 couples for country dances; since almost everyone was engaged, the rest played cards.” Carlisle House operated through annual subscriptions, attracting young men and many older patrons. Rules were published, revealing that members’ tickets were transferable as long as the holder's name was written on the back. Between 1757 and 1772, the papers frequently mentioned the grand events at this famous venue; however, despite her many customers and ways of making money, Mrs. Cornelys's name appeared in a Gazette in November of that year among the bankrupts. She was identified as “Teresa Cornelys, Carlisle House, St Ann, Soho, dealer.” Nonetheless, this says little about her success or lack thereof, since bankruptcy didn’t necessarily equate to ruin back then, provided one had enough resources to declare it properly.


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CHAPTER 18.
Flyers, Signage, Etc.

Under this head it is our intention to give some slight insight into peculiarities of a kind of advertising unconnected with newspapers, and independent of any of the subjects treated in preceding chapters. We set forth with a great variety of handbills, which seemed almost too extensive for use in this volume; but we have already got rid of so many that the task of disposal is considerably lightened—so lightened, indeed, by the absorption of many of the most characteristic into preceding pages, that by comparison with the original collection our present supply seems rather meagre. It will doubtless, however, be found sufficient for the requirements of readers. We have already given an outline of the history of advertising by means of bills and posters, and have referred to the gradual growth of the system of “billing” until it has attained its present proportions. This system, though regarded by the Board of Works as very objectionable, is far pleasanter than that adopted twenty years ago, when every billsticker considered it his bounden duty to overstick the placards of opponents, and when nothing but a long course of education, or a most vivid imagination, would enable the passer-by to read what was upon the dead walls and hoardings. The Board of Works certainly took the initiative at the wrong time—at the time when improvement was vast and apparent to every one; but as it failed in its object, we may consider that public opinion has admitted the[511] improvement, and no longer regards wall-advertising as a nuisance. The Board doubtless started on the idea at a time when placarding was a most decided scandal, but it—like most other committees—took so long to bring the idea to perfection, that the scandal had abolished itself long before the Board was ready to abolish it. Having already entered into full particulars as to the modes formerly adopted, and contrasted them with those in use at the present time, individual efforts at illuminating the public mind will now be found amply sufficient for our purpose. Some of these are, as all the world knows, extremely funny on account of the vagueness of the writers, and in that particular resemble many of those we have instanced from the columns of newspapers. A very few examples of this kind will suffice, and will pave the way for the heavier material. One of the best of those inscriptions, the comicality of which is founded upon ignorance, appeared in 1821, and was posted up by order of Lord Camden in that portion of the county of Kent which called him owner. It said:—

Under this topic, we aim to provide a brief look into the unique aspects of a type of advertising that doesn't rely on newspapers and isn't connected to the subjects discussed in previous chapters. We begin with a wide range of handbills that seemed almost too many to include in this volume; however, we've already removed so many that the task of sorting through them has become much lighter—so much so that, compared to the original collection, our current selection appears rather scant. Nonetheless, it should still meet the needs of our readers. We've already outlined the history of advertising through bills and posters, referencing the gradual evolution of the "billing" system until it reached its current state. This system, although viewed by the Board of Works as quite problematic, is much more enjoyable than what was practiced twenty years ago, when every bill sticker felt it was their duty to cover up the posters of their rivals, making it nearly impossible for a bystander to read what was on the walls and hoardings without extensive education or a vivid imagination. The Board of Works certainly started this initiative at an unfortunate time—when improvements were substantial and recognizable to everyone; since they failed to achieve their goal, we can assume that public opinion has accepted the improvement and no longer sees wall advertising as a nuisance. The Board likely launched the idea when placarding was indeed a significant scandal, but—like many committees—they took so long to perfect the concept that the scandal had resolved itself long before the Board was prepared to address it. Having previously discussed the methods used in the past and compared them with those currently in practice, individual attempts to enlighten the public mind will now prove sufficient for our purpose. Some of these attempts are, as everyone knows, quite amusing due to the vagueness of the writers, resembling many of the examples we've presented from newspaper columns. A few examples of this sort will suffice and set the stage for the more substantial material. One of the best examples of these humorous inscriptions, stemming from ignorance, appeared in 1821 and was posted by Lord Camden in the part of Kent where he was the owner. It said:—

Notice is hereby given, that the Marquis of Camden (on account of the backwardness of the harvest) will not shoot himself, nor any of his tenants, till the 14th of September.

Notice is hereby given that the Marquis of Camden (due to the delayed harvest) will not harm himself or any of his tenants until September 14th.

We don’t suppose that the Marquis had anything to do with the actual wording of the notice, but he has always been identified with it, and doubtless was cruelly badgered about it at the time. Another lordly notice of a similar kind appeared a few years back at Osterly Park, near Brentford, the seat of the Earl of Jersey, which gave the public this information: “Ten shillings reward.—Any person found trespassing on these lands or damaging these fences on conviction will receive the above reward. Dogs poisoned.” Somebody once said that nobody expects to find education or ability in a lord, but that is because his household are expected to fulfil his duties properly. Lords would seem in imminent danger of having to pick up a little[512] scholarship, and use it in the interest of their dependants. If so, polo and pigeon-shooting will languish, and West-End night-schools may become fashionable. But getting away from the aristocracy, and turning our attention to the other side of the social sphere, we don’t find matters anyway improved, if we are to judge by the specimens of literary ability which now and then address themselves to the curious pedestrian. In Lambeth the latter might some short time back have been terrified by an announcement in a baker’s shop, which informed all whom it might concern that vitals were baked there. Not so terrible, but more comical, is the following, which is copied from an announcement in the window of a shop at Chatham: “The public are requested not to confound this shop with that of another swindler who has established himself on the other side of the way.” There is a story told of two rival shoemakers, one of whom astonished his opponent by the inscription, “Mens conscia recti.” He was not allowed his triumph unalloyed, for the other, after puzzling over the notice for some days, divined that it was some new name for “understandings,” and feeling sure there was nothing in the opposition shop that was not in his own, replied with this, “Men’s and women’s conscia recti may be obtained here.” This story, however, requires confirmation, as does that of the two provincial photographers. One is said to have placed over his studio, “The acme of photography,” to which his enemy and neighbour replied, “Photography in the very height of acme.” Salt seems necessary to both of these, but we are informed on good authority that the next one is quite true. A correspondent says that the following is a verbatim copy of a sign formerly to be seen over a shoemaker’s shop in the village of Heallan, near Denbigh, Wales. The schoolmaster would seem to have been a long way abroad when the sign was composed:—

We don’t think the Marquis wrote the notice himself, but he’s always been associated with it and probably faced a lot of complaints about it back then. A similar notice appeared a few years ago at Osterly Park, near Brentford, home of the Earl of Jersey, which informed the public: “Ten shillings reward.—Anyone found trespassing on these lands or damaging these fences will receive the reward upon conviction. Dogs poisoned.” Someone once said that no one expects to find education or skill in a lord, but that’s because they’re supposed to have their households manage things properly. Lords might soon be at risk of having to learn a bit of knowledge and use it for the sake of their dependents. If that happens, sports like polo and pigeon shooting might decline, and West End night schools could become trendy. But moving away from the aristocracy and looking at the other end of society, things don't seem to be any better, judging by the examples of literary skill that occasionally catch the attention of passing pedestrians. Not long ago in Lambeth, a baker's shop scared people with an announcement stating that vitals were baked there. Not as scary but definitely more amusing is the following notice found in a shop window in Chatham: “The public is asked not to confuse this shop with that of another swindler located across the street.” There’s a story about two competing shoemakers, one of whom impressed his rival with the sign, “Mens conscia recti.” His victory was short-lived because the other, after puzzling over it for days, figured out it was a new term for “understandings,” and confident that he had nothing inferior in his shop, countered with, “Men’s and women’s conscia recti may be obtained here.” This story, however, needs verification, much like another about two local photographers. One is said to have displayed, “The acme of photography” over his studio, to which his rival responded, “Photography in the very height of acme.” Some seasoning seems required for both of these, but we are reliably informed that the next one is entirely true. A correspondent notes that the following is an exact copy of a sign that used to hang above a shoemaker’s shop in the village of Heallan, near Denbigh, Wales. The schoolmaster seems to have been quite far off when the sign was composed:—

Pryce Dyas, Coblar, daler in Bacco Shag and Pig tail, Bacon and Ginarbread Eggs laid every morning by me, and very good Paradise, in[513] the Summer, Gentlemen and Lady can have good Tae and Crumquets and Strawburry with a scim milk, because I can’t get no cream.—N.B. Shuse and Boots mended very well.

Pryce Dyas, Coblar, dealer in Bacco Shag and Pig tail, Bacon and Gingerbread Eggs laid fresh every morning by me, and very nice Paradise, in [513] the Summer, gentlemen and ladies can enjoy good tea and crumpets and strawberries with skim milk, because I can’t get any cream.—N.B. Shoes and boots repaired very well.

Of a similar kind is the following, which was, years back, copied from a bill in the window of a small house near Lancaster:—

Of a similar kind is the following, which was, years ago, copied from a sign in the window of a small house near Lancaster:—

James Williams, parish clerk, saxtone, town crier, and bellman, makes and sells all sorts of haberdasharies, groceries, &c.; likewise, hair and wigs drest and cut on the shortest notice. N.B.—I keeps an evening scool, where I teach, at reasonable rates, reading, riting, and rithmitic, and singing. N.B.—I play the hooboy occasionally if wanted. N.B.—My shop is next door, where I bleed, draw teeth, and shoo horses, with the greatest scil. N.B.—Children taut to dance if agreeable at 6d. per week, by me, J. Williams, who buy and sell old iron, and coats—boots and shoos cleaned and mended. N.B.—A hat and pr of stockens to be cudgelled for, the best in 5, on Shrof Tushday. For particulars encuire within, or at the horse shoo and bell, near the church, on t’other side the way. N.B.—Look over the dore for the sign of the 3 pidgeons. N.B.—I sells good ayle, and sometimes cyder. Lodgings for single men. N.B.—I teach jografy, algebry, and them outlandish kind of things. A ball on Wednesdays and Fridays.

James Williams, parish clerk, stone mason, town crier, and bellman, makes and sells all kinds of small goods, groceries, etc.; also, hair and wigs styled and cut on short notice. Note: I run an evening school where I teach reading, writing, arithmetic, and singing at reasonable rates. Note: I occasionally play the oboe if needed. Note: My shop is next door, where I perform bloodletting, tooth extractions, and shoe horses with great skill. Note: Children taught to dance if interested at 6 pence per week, by me, J. Williams, who buys and sells old iron and coats—boots and shoes cleaned and repaired. Note: A hat and pair of stockings to be offered for the best in 5 on Shrove Tuesday. For details inquire inside, or at the horseshoe and bell, across the street from the church. Note: Look above the door for the sign of the three pigeons. Note: I sell good ale, and sometimes cider. Lodgings for single men available. Note: I teach geography, algebra, and those strange subjects. A ball on Wednesdays and Fridays.

The next quaint window inscription, which treats of the troubles of a small shopkeeper, may also be depended upon, it being an exact copy of a written card suspended in the shop window of a tradesman in Horsemarket Street, Warrington. One can conceive the amount of provocation undergone and the indignation felt by the honest purveyor of mousetraps, whose blood must have been at boiling point when he penned this:—

The next charming window sign, which discusses the struggles of a small shopkeeper, can also be trusted, as it is an exact replica of a handwritten note displayed in the window of a merchant in Horsemarket Street, Warrington. You can imagine the level of annoyance and the anger experienced by the honest seller of mousetraps, whose blood must have been boiling when he wrote this:—

Notice I dont keep twelve hole mousetrap nor penney ones what i keep I sell to respectable people not to impudent Boys Hand Bad Girls that comes to rob me and annoy me and has bad parents those that come into my shop shall be severely beat and put into the celler and took before the magistrates those that come into a shop and ask for article that is not made they must come to steal.

Notice I don’t keep twelve-hole mousetraps or penny ones. What I have, I sell to respectable people, not to rude boys or troublesome girls who come to steal from me and bother me, and who have bad parents. Anyone who enters my shop will be severely punished and locked in the cellar, then brought before the magistrates. Those who come into a shop and ask for something that isn’t made must be here to steal.

Examples like this are manifold, and could be extended to great length, but those we have given are quite enough to afford a vivid idea of the danger of venturing upon literature[514] without the precaution of first learning the rudiments of education, and of the ridicule likely to attend upon any more than usually ambitious effort, which succeeds in landing its perpetrator quite out of his depth.

Examples like this are numerous and could go on for a long time, but the ones we've provided are enough to give a clear sense of the risks of diving into literature[514] without first mastering the basics of education, and the mockery that can follow any particularly ambitious attempt that leaves the person far out of their depth.

Old playbills offer a fruitful subject to the investigator, but their actual origin is hidden in the obscurity of ages. So far as their history goes, however, they are plentiful, and mention of them is made in works of a period far anterior to the date of any specimens extant. The modern drama had its origin in an attempt to commemorate the mysteries of the Incarnation, from whence the plays were called mysteries; and it is recorded that one Gregory Nazianzen, an early father of the Christian Church, constructed a drama on the Passion, for the purpose of counteracting the profanities of the ancient plays, about the year of our Lord 364. We have to pass over eight hundred years for the next mention of dramatic representations, and then it is met in Fitzstephen, who states that “London had for its theatrical exhibitions holy plays, and the representation of miracles wrote by holy confessors.” This would be towards the close of the twelfth century; and next we come to the Chester Mysteries, which were performed about 1270. These have been reprinted during the present century, and the application of the word mystery is explained in the two subjoined verses from the proclamation or prologue to the Whitsun Plays, a title by which the famous Chester Mysteries were also known. The “moonke” mentioned is Done Rondali, of Chester Abbey, who founded the plays:—

Old playbills are a fascinating topic for researchers, but their true origins are lost in the mists of time. However, they have a rich history, and references to them appear in works from long before any surviving examples. The modern drama started as an effort to celebrate the mysteries of the Incarnation, which is why these plays were called mysteries. It's noted that Gregory Nazianzen, an early leader in the Christian Church, created a drama about the Passion around 364 AD to counteract the irreverence of ancient plays. We skip over eight hundred years to find the next mention of dramatic performances, which comes from Fitzstephen, who says that “London had holy plays and the portrayal of miracles written by holy confessors.” This would be toward the end of the twelfth century, followed by the Chester Mysteries, which were performed around 1270. These have been republished in the current century, and the use of the term mystery is clarified in the two verses below from the proclamation or prologue to the Whitsun Plays, a title that also refers to the famous Chester Mysteries. The "monk" mentioned is Done Rondali from Chester Abbey, who founded the plays:—

This monkey, resembling a monkey as seen in the Scriptures. In stories traveled with the best sort; In the pages presented, obviously for everyone's eyes,
The Old and New Testament with lively comfort; Mixing it in just for fun,
Some things not covered by any written document,
To please the listeners, he wanted them to take it.
Now, you esteemed Tanners, who by tradition The fall of Lucifer did begin,
[515] Some writers guarantee your message; so be bold,
To eagerly play the same for everyone in the group; And if any of them are in doubt,
Your author has, so just show it.
Good speech, fine players, with suitable attire.

With the history of plays we have nothing to do, and need only state that the first regular English tragedy was “Ferrex and Porrex,” which was acted before Queen Elizabeth on the 18th of January 1561 by the gentlemen of the Inner Temple. This same play was tried at one of the minor theatres in 1854, but had no claim upon the tastes of the time. From a passage in Strype’s Life of Archbishop Grindall, it has been assumed that the custom of issuing bills, giving information concerning the time, place, and nature of plays to be acted, came in with the plays themselves, as it is there shown to exist prior to the year 1563. In alluding to Grindall’s objections to dramatic representations, Strype mentions that the Archbishop complained to Queen Elizabeth’s secretary that the players “did then daily, but especially on the holidays, set up their bills, inviting to plays.” This, however, is a somewhat curious error of Strype’s, into which Mr Payne Collier has also fallen. The Bishop did not write bills but booths; his words are as follows: “Common players, now daylie, but speciallye on holy dayes, set up boothes whereunto the youthe resorteth excessively.” There is, however, other evidence to prove that playbills were in use not long after the above date; for John Northbrooke, in his treatise against theatrical performances, printed about 1579, says: “They use to set up their bills upon posts some certain days before, to admonish people to make resort to their theatres.” At that time the Stationers’ Company had the right of giving licences for the printing of playbills, and in the year 1587 its Court of Assistants conferred upon John Charlewood the privilege of being the sole printer of bills for players. Before that time they were printed by one James Roberts, who[516] names “the bills for the players” amongst his publications as early as 1573—six years before Northbrooke’s mention of them—and, authorised no doubt by Charlewood, he continued to print them until after the year 1600. This right of printing playbills was at a subsequent period assumed by the Crown. A broadside, dated 1620, is preserved in the Library of the Society of Antiquaries, by which this privilege was granted to a printing firm by James I. It is entitled “An Abstract of his Majesty’s Letters Patent granted unto Roger Wood and Thomas Symcocke, for the sole printing of paper and parchment on the one side.” Among the articles enumerated as coming under this category are, “Bills for Playes, Pastimes, Showes, Challenges, Prizes, or Sportes whatsoever.” At the end the public are informed that if they may want any work of that description, they need only repair to Edward Allde (Wood and Symcocke’s assignee), “in the Old Change at the Golden Anchor, over against Carter Lane end, where they shall be reasonably dealt with for the same.”

With the history of plays, we have nothing to do and only need to mention that the first regular English tragedy was "Ferrex and Porrex," which was performed for Queen Elizabeth on January 18, 1561, by the gentlemen of the Inner Temple. This same play was attempted at one of the smaller theaters in 1854 but didn’t resonate with the audience of that time. A passage in Strype’s Life of Archbishop Grindall suggests that the practice of issuing bills detailing the time, location, and type of plays to be performed began with the plays themselves, as it is shown to exist prior to 1563. When referring to Grindall’s objections to dramatic performances, Strype notes that the Archbishop complained to Queen Elizabeth’s secretary that the players “were daily, especially on holidays, putting up their bills inviting people to plays.” However, this is actually a curious mistake by Strype, which Mr. Payne Collier also made. The Bishop did not write bills but booths; his words are: “Common players, now daily, but especially on holy days, set up booths where the youth excessively gathers.” Nonetheless, there is further evidence indicating that playbills were in use not long after this date; John Northbrooke, in his treatise against theatrical performances printed around 1579, states: “They usually put up their bills on posts some certain days beforehand to remind people to come to their theaters.” At that time, the Stationers’ Company had the authority to grant licenses for printing playbills, and in 1587, its Court of Assistants granted John Charlewood the exclusive right to print bills for players. Before this, they were printed by a man named James Roberts, who[516] lists “the bills for the players” among his publications as early as 1573—six years before Northbrooke’s mention of them—and, presumably authorized by Charlewood, he continued printing them until after 1600. Later on, this right to print playbills was taken over by the Crown. A broadside from 1620, preserved in the Library of the Society of Antiquaries, shows that this privilege was granted to a printing company by James I. It’s titled “An Abstract of his Majesty’s Letters Patent granted unto Roger Wood and Thomas Symcocke, for the sole printing of paper and parchment on one side.” Among the items listed in this category are, “Bills for Playes, Pastimes, Showes, Challenges, Prizes, or Sportes whatsoever.” Finally, the public is informed that if they need any work of that type, they should go to Edward Allde (Wood and Symcocke’s assignee), “in the Old Change at the Golden Anchor, across from Carter Lane end, where they shall be treated fairly for the same.”

According to Malone these early playbills did not contain a list of the characters or of the names of the actors by whom they were represented. But that the name of the author was sometimes, if not always, on the playbill may be inferred from a passage in the anonymous play of “Histriomastix” (1610), act iv., in which Belch, speaking of Post-hast the playwriter, says, “It is as dangerous to read his name at a play dore, as a printed bill on a plague dore,” the allusion being to the practice of writing “Lord have mercy upon us” on the doors of houses in which the plague had broken out, which words of course were a caution, and made people pass on hurriedly. In the same play also we find a curious illustration of our subject in a reference to the part of one of the inferior actors. In act iii. the stage direction says, “Enter Belch setting up bills.” And it may not be out of place to remark that the word poster is evidently derived from the custom of sticking bills on[517] posts. That bills were stuck on posts for choice, many of them at stated or customary places, there is plenty of evidence. Sometimes they were ordered to be stuck upon doors and gates, as in the following, though this very possibly means door or gate post. From the Moderate Intelligencer, March 18-25, 1647, we discover that in the time of civil war, when the bishops’ lands and palaces were sold, the following places were appointed by Parliament to be used for affixing bills concerning the sales. Upon the outer gate and upon the hall door of Sir Richard Gourney’s house in the Old Jewry (this was the office where the committee charged with those sales held their sitting), upon the north door of St Paul’s Church, upon the gate of Guildhall, and upon the gate of Blackwell Hall.

According to Malone, these early playbills didn’t include a list of characters or the names of the actors who played them. However, we can infer that the author’s name was sometimes, if not always, included on the playbill from a line in the anonymous play “Histriomastix” (1610), act iv., where Belch, talking about Post-hast the playwright, says, “It is as dangerous to read his name at a play door, as a printed bill on a plague door,” referring to the practice of writing “Lord have mercy upon us” on the doors of houses where the plague had broken out, which served as a warning and made people hurry past. The same play also provides an interesting example related to our topic in a mention of one of the lesser actors. In act iii., the stage direction says, “Enter Belch setting up bills.” It’s worth noting that the word poster likely comes from the practice of putting bills on posts. There is ample evidence that bills were placed on posts, often at specific or traditional locations. Sometimes they were also required to be attached to doors and gates, as seen in the following example, though this could also mean door or gate post. From the Moderate Intelligencer, March 18-25, 1647, we learn that during the civil war, when the bishops' lands and palaces were sold, Parliament designated several locations for posting bills about the sales. These included the outer gate and the hall door of Sir Richard Gourney’s house in the Old Jewry (where the committee responsible for those sales met), the north door of St Paul’s Church, the gate of Guildhall, and the gate of Blackwell Hall.

As long as they have had an existence—from the sixteenth century—these bills have gone by the name of playbills. In the prologue to the anonymous tragedy of “A Warning for Fair Women” (1599), Tragedy whips History and Comedy from the stage, exclaiming:—

As long as they've existed—since the sixteenth century—these documents have been called playbills. In the prologue to the anonymous tragedy "A Warning for Fair Women" (1599), Tragedy drives History and Comedy off the stage, exclaiming:—

You've kept the theater for so long Displayed in playbills on every post,
While I am scorned by the crowd.

They have also, however, in various places and at various times, been called “text bills for plays.” The natural and shorter title, though, always overruled its more pretentious rival. From the prologue to Shirley’s “Cardinal” (1652) it appears that it was usual to add on the bill whether the piece was a comedy or a tragedy. This “Cardinal” being a tragedy, the author apologises in the following words for only calling it “a play” in the bills:—

They have also, at different times and in different places, been called “text bills for plays.” However, the simpler and shorter title always won out over its more elaborate counterpart. From the prologue to Shirley’s “Cardinal” (1652), it seems common to indicate on the bill whether the performance was a comedy or a tragedy. Since this “Cardinal” is a tragedy, the author offers this apology for only referring to it as “a play” in the bills:—

Think what you want; we just call it a "play." Whether it's the muse of comedy or the love of a lady, Whether it turns out to be romance or a tragic disaster,
The bill does not specify: and you would be
Convinced I wanted a comedy For all the purple in the name.

[518]

[518]

From which it may be inferred that the names of tragedies, for greater distinction, were usually, or at all events occasionally, printed in red ink. That the custom of posting playbills continued in the reign of Charles II. may be inferred from the following entry in Pepys’ Diary: “I went to see if any play was acted and I found none upon the posts, it being Passion Weeke.”

From this, we can guess that the titles of tragedies were often, or at least sometimes, printed in red ink for better distinction. The practice of putting up playbills continued during the reign of Charles II, as shown by this entry in Pepys’ Diary: “I went to see if any play was being performed and found none on the posts, since it was Passion Week.”

During the Civil Wars the drama had a hard struggle not to be swamped in the deluge which destroyed all things appertaining to the pomp and luxury of the Court, or connected with pleasure generally. The face of the Parliament was turned against stage-plays, and when the war broke out, one of the first measures was that which led to the publication of the following bill:—

During the Civil Wars, the theater faced a tough battle to avoid being overwhelmed by the chaos that destroyed everything related to the splendor and luxury of the Court, or connected with entertainment in general. The Parliament was opposed to plays, and when the war began, one of the first actions taken was the introduction of the following bill:—

Ordinance of the Lords and Commons concerning Stage-Plays.

Ordinance of the Lords and Commons regarding Stage Plays.

Whereas,

Whereas,

The distressed Estate of Ireland, steeped in her own Blood, and the distracted Estate of England, threatened with a Cloud of Blood by a civil War, call for all possible Means to appease and avert the Wrath of God, appearing in these Judgements; amongst which Fasting and Prayer, having been often tried to be very effectual, have been lately, and are still, enjoined; And whereas public Sports do not well agree with public Calamities, nor public Stage-plays with the Seasons of Humiliation, this being an exercise of sad and pious Solemnity, and the other being Spectacles of Pleasure too commonly expressing lascivious Mirth and Levity; It is therefore thought fit, and ordered by the Lords and Commons in this Parliament assembled, That while these sad Causes and set Times of Humiliation do continue, public Stage-plays shall cease and be forborne. Instead of which are recommended to the People of this Land the profitable and seasonable consideration of Repentance, Reconciliation, and Peace with God, which probably will produce outward Peace and Prosperity, and bring again Times of Joy and Gladness to these Nations.

The troubled state of Ireland, drenched in its own blood, and the distressed state of England, facing a looming threat of civil war, call for every possible effort to calm and prevent the anger of God, reflected in these judgments. Among these efforts, fasting and prayer, which have often proven effective, have recently been mandated and continue to be required. Furthermore, since public entertainment does not mesh well with public disasters, nor do public stage plays fit with times of humility—one being a somber, pious practice and the other often showcasing frivolous merriment—it has been deemed appropriate and ordered by the Lords and Commons assembled in this Parliament that as long as these tragic circumstances and designated times of humility persist, public stage plays will be suspended. Instead, the people of this land are encouraged to engage in the thoughtful and timely reflection on repentance, reconciliation, and peace with God, which will likely lead to external peace and prosperity, restoring times of joy and happiness to these nations.

This intimation was of course received with much outcry, and “The Actors’ Remonstrance” was soon published. In it the writer complains naturally of a law which robs the poor player of his livelihood, and allows bear-gardens[519] and suchlike places to remain unmolested to the delectation of “boisterous butchers, cutting cobblers, hard-handed masons, and the like riotous disturbers of the public peace.” The playhouses are defended against sundry charges brought against them, and a promise is made that no female whatsoever shall be admitted unless accompanied by her husband or some male relative; besides which the use of tobacco is to be forbidden even in the threepenny galleries, except in the case of “the pure Spanish leaf.” It may thus be readily guessed that something worse even than the cheap “sensation smokes” of the present day was often misnamed tobacco. This is hard to believe, however. The promise extends to the expulsion of all ribaldry from the stage; and the actors say, “We will so demean ourselves as none shall esteem us of the ungodly, or have cause to repine at our actions or interludes; we will not entertain any comedian that shall speak his part in a tone as if he did it in derision of some of the pious, but reform all our disorders and amend all our amisses.” During the Commonwealth, stage-plays were almost openly connived at; and the licence indulged in during the Restoration days is too well known to require notice here.

This notice was, of course, met with a lot of protests, and “The Actors’ Remonstrance” was quickly published. In it, the author naturally complains about a law that takes away the poor actor's livelihood while allowing bear-pits and similar places to go unchallenged, catering to “rowdy butchers, loud cobblers, rough-handed masons, and other noisy disruptors of public peace.” The theaters are defended against various accusations, and it’s promised that no woman will be allowed entry unless she is with her husband or a male relative. Additionally, smoking is to be banned even in the cheap seats, except for “pure Spanish leaf.” One can easily guess that there was something even worse than today’s cheap “sensation smokes” often misnamed as tobacco. This is hard to believe, though. The promise includes the removal of all indecency from the stage, and the actors state, “We will conduct ourselves in a way that no one will consider us ungodly or have any reason to be upset with our acts or performances; we will not hire any comedian who acts as if mocking the pious but will correct all our misbehavior and fix all our mistakes.” During the Commonwealth, stage plays were almost openly tolerated, and the freedoms taken during the Restoration era are well-known and don’t need further mention.

An interesting epoch in the history of the drama is the first appearance of David Garrick, and it is noticeable that the playbill which commemorates the event does not contain his name. Neither, for the matter of that, does it contain the name of the author of the play, who, if Shakespeare, must have been improved and amended. The monopoly of the patent theatres was such that these plays had to be advertised and regarded as simply interludes to a musical entertainment. As witness:—

An interesting period in the history of drama is when David Garrick first appeared, and it's noteworthy that the playbill celebrating this event doesn't mention his name. It also doesn't include the name of the playwright, who, if it's Shakespeare, must have been revised and updated. The control of the licensed theaters was so strong that these plays had to be promoted and seen merely as additions to a musical performance. As witness:—

October 19, 1741.

October 19, 1741.

GOODMAN’S FIELDS.

Goodman's Fields.

At the late Theatre in Goodman’s Fields, this Day will be perform’d a Concert of Vocal and Instrumental Music, divided into two Parts.

At the late Theatre in Goodman’s Fields, today there will be a Concert of Vocal and Instrumental Music, divided into two Parts.

Tickets at Three, Two and One Shilling.
Places for the Boxes to be taken at the Fleece Tavern, near the
Theatre.

Tickets are priced at three, two, and one shilling.
Box seats can be reserved at the Fleece Tavern, near the
Theatre.

[520]

[520]

N.B. Between the two Parts will be presented an Historical Play, called the Life and Death of

N.B. Between the two Parts, there will be an Historical Play titled the Life and Death of

KING RICHARD THE THIRD,

KING RICHARD III

containing the Distresses of
King Henry VI.
The Artful Acquisition of the Crown by
King Richard,
The Murder of the young King Edward V. and his Brother, in the
Tower,
The Landing of the Earl of Richmond,
And the Death of King Richard in the memorable Battle of Bosworth
Field, being the last that was fought between the
Houses of York and Lancaster.

containing the Distresses of
King Henry VI.
The Clever Taking of the Crown by
King Richard,
The Murder of the young King Edward V. and his Brother, in the
Tower,
The Arrival of the Earl of Richmond,
And the Death of King Richard in the notable Battle of Bosworth
Field, marking the last that was fought between the
Houses of York and Lancaster.

With many other true historical Passages.

With many other genuine historical accounts.

The Part of King Richard by a Gentleman.
(Who never appeared on any Stage.)

The Part of King Richard by a Gentleman.
(Who never performed on any Stage.)

King Henry, by Mr. Giffard; Richmond, Mr. Marshall; Prince Edward, by Miss Hippisley; Duke of York, Miss Naylor; Duke of Buckingham, Mr. Peterson; Duke of Norfolk, Mr. Blades; Lord Stanley, Mr. Pagett; Oxford, Mr. Vaughan; Tressel, Mr. W. Giffard; Catesby, Mr. Marr; Rutcliff, Mr. Crofts; Blunt, Mr. Naylor; Tyrrell, Mr. Puttenham; Lord Mayor, Mr. Dunstall; The Queen, Mrs. Steel; Duchess of York, Mrs. Yates;

King Henry, played by Mr. Giffard; Richmond, Mr. Marshall; Prince Edward, played by Miss Hippisley; Duke of York, Miss Naylor; Duke of Buckingham, Mr. Peterson; Duke of Norfolk, Mr. Blades; Lord Stanley, Mr. Pagett; Oxford, Mr. Vaughan; Tressel, Mr. W. Giffard; Catesby, Mr. Marr; Rutcliff, Mr. Crofts; Blunt, Mr. Naylor; Tyrrell, Mr. Puttenham; Lord Mayor, Mr. Dunstall; The Queen, Mrs. Steel; Duchess of York, Mrs. Yates;

And the Part of Lady Anne
By Mrs Giffard.

And the Role of Lady Anne
By Mrs Giffard.

With Entertainments of Dancing

With Dance Entertainment

By Mons. Fromet, Madame Duvall, and the two Masters and Miss Granier.

By Mons. Fromet, Madame Duvall, and the two Masters and Miss Granier.

To which will be added a Ballad Opera of one Act, called
THE VIRGIN UNMASK’D.
The Part of Lucy by Miss Hippisley.

To which will be added a Ballad Opera of one Act, called
The Virgin Unmasked.
The role of Lucy will be played by Miss Hippisley.

Both of which will be performed Gratis by Persons for their Diversion.
The Concert will begin exactly at Six o’Clock.

Both will be performed for free by people for their entertainment.
The concert will start precisely at 6:00 PM.

This bill would seem to contradict an inscription in the large room at the St John’s Gate Tavern, Clerkenwell, which is to the effect that Garrick made his first appearance on any stage there. The first appearance of David on any stage was at Ipswich, also in 1741, “where, under the assumed name of Lyddul, he appeared as Aboan in the tragedy of ‘Oroonoko.’” His acting at the East End of[521] London was a decided success, and the performances were continued for what was then considered an almost fabulous period. “The other theatres were quickly deserted, and Goodman’s Fields became the resort of people of fashion, even from the West End, till that theatre was shut up.” The last performance at Goodman’s Fields is said to have taken place on a Sunday. Another playbill of the middle of the eighteenth century may be found interesting, though for no such reasons as are found in that of Goodman’s Fields. It is redolent of the pride and poverty which seem to be ever associated with the drama in days gone by, and is given by Boaden in his “Life of Mrs Siddons:”—

This bill seems to contradict an inscription in the large room at the St John’s Gate Tavern in Clerkenwell, stating that Garrick made his first appearance on any stage there. David's first performance on any stage was in Ipswich, also in 1741, “where, using the name Lyddul, he appeared as Aboan in the tragedy of ‘Oroonoko.’” His acting in the East End of London was a definite success, and the performances continued for what was then considered a remarkably long time. “The other theatres were soon abandoned, and Goodman’s Fields became the go-to spot for fashionable people, even from the West End, until that theatre was closed.” It is said that the last performance at Goodman’s Fields happened on a Sunday. Another playbill from the mid-eighteenth century might be of interest, though for different reasons than that of Goodman’s Fields. It reflects the pride and poverty that seem to always be linked with the drama of the past, and it is noted by Boaden in his “Life of Mrs Siddons:”

At the Old Theatre, in East Grinstead, on Saturday, May, 1758, will be represented (by particular desire, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.) the deep and affecting tragedy of

At the Old Theatre in East Grinstead, on Saturday, May 1758, will be performed (by special request, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.) the powerful and moving tragedy of

“THEODOSIUS, OR THE FORCE OF LOVE,”

“THEODOSIUS, OR THE POWER OF LOVE,”

with magnificent scenes, dresses, &c.

with stunning scenes, outfits, etc.

Varanes by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the character of the fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Midworth, Lewes, &c.

Varanes by Mr. P., who will do his best to maintain the character of the passionate Persian Prince, a role in which he received much admiration and praise at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Midworth, Lewes, etc.

Theodosius by a young Gentleman from the University of Oxford, who never appeared on any Stage.

Theodosius by a young man from the University of Oxford, who never performed on any stage.

Athenais by Mrs. P. Though her present Condition will not permit her to wait on Gentlemen and Ladies out of the town with Tickets, she hopes, as on former Occasions, for their Liberality and Support.

Athenais by Mrs. P. Although her current situation doesn't allow her to attend to gentlemen and ladies outside of town with tickets, she hopes, as she has in the past, for their generosity and support.

Nothing in Italy can exceed the Altar, in the first scene of the Play; nevertheless should any of the Nobility or Gentry wish to see it ornamented with Flowers, the Bearer will bring away as many as they choose to favour him with.

Nothing in Italy can surpass the Altar in the first scene of the Play; however, if any of the Nobility or Gentry want to see it decorated with Flowers, the Bearer will take as many as they choose to give him.

As the coronation of Athenais, to be introduced in the fifth Act, contains a number of Personages, more than sufficient to fill all the dressing Rooms, &c., it is hoped no Gentlemen and Ladies will be offended being refused admission behind the Scenes.

As the coronation of Athenais, which will take place in the fifth Act, includes enough Characters to fill all the dressing rooms, it is hoped that no Gentlemen and Ladies will be offended by being denied access behind the scenes.

N.B. The great yard Dog, that made so much noise on Thursday night, during the last Act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a Neighbour’s over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for places, part of the Stable will be laid into the Boxes on one side, and the Granary be open for the same purpose on the other.

N.B. The loud yard dog that made such a racket on Thursday night during the final act of King Richard III will be sent to a neighbor's place across the street. Due to the huge demand for seats, part of the stable will be transformed into boxes on one side, and the granary will be opened for the same purpose on the other.

Vivat Rex.

Long live the King.

[522]

[522]

Those who are curious in the matter of playbills in all languages will perhaps accept the annexed as a compromise, and as the nearest thing in a general way we can manage in the space at command. Those also who are good at riddles may like to try their skill on it:—

Those who are interested in playbills in all languages might find the attached as a compromise, and as the closest thing we can provide in the available space. Those who are good at riddles might enjoy testing their skills on it:—

NOTICE.

Notice.

SAturday 30 and on Sunday 31 of the corrent, in the Royal Theatre of St. Charles will be represented by the Italian Company the famous Holy Drama intitled

SSaturday 30 and on Sunday 31 of this month, the Italian Company will present the famous Holy Drama titled at the Royal Theatre of St. Charles.

IL TRIONFO DI GIUDITTA
O SIA
LA MORTE D’ OLOFERNE.

Judith's Triumph
OR
HOLOFERNES' DEATH.

In the interval of the first to the second act it shall have a new and pompous Ball of the composition of John Baptista Gianini, who has by title:

In the time between the first and second acts, there will be a new extravagant ball featuring music composed by John Baptista Gianini, who is titled:

IL SACRIFICIO D’ ABRAMO

THE SACRIFICE OF ABRAHAM

in which will enter all the excellent corp of Ball, who dance at present in the said Royal Theatre; the spetacle will be finished with the second act and Ball analog to the same Drama, all with the nessessary decoration.

in which will enter all the excellent cast of the Ball, who are currently dancing at the Royal Theatre; the performance will conclude with the second act and a Ball similar to the same Drama, all with the necessary decorations.

This is who is offered to the Respectable Publick of whom is waited all the proctetion and concurrence:

This is who is presented to the Esteemed Public, who is awaited for all the support and agreement:

It will begin at 8 o’clok.

It will begin at 8 o'clock.

Na officina de Simāo Thaddeo Ferreira. 1811. Com licenca.

Na officina de Simāo Thaddeo Ferreira. 1811. Com licença.

We next append a bill of the far-famed Richardson’s Theatre under date 1825—one of those distributed during the Bartlemy Fair of that year. Hone describes the theatre thus: “The outside of this show was in height upwards of thirty feet, and occupied one hundred feet in width. The platform on the outside was very elevated; the back of it was lined with green baize, and festooned with deeply-fringed crimson curtains, except at two places, where the money-takers sat, which were wide and roomy projections, fitted up like Gothic shrine-work, with columns and pinnacles. There were fifteen hundred variegated illumination-lamps disposed over various parts of the platform, some of them depending from the top in the shape of chandeliers and lustres, and others in wreaths and festoons.[523] A band of ten performers in scarlet dresses, similar to those worn by beefeaters, continually played on clarionets, violins, trombones, and the long drum; while the performers paraded in their gayest ‘properties’ before the gazing multitude. Audiences rapidly ascended on each performance being over, and paying their money to the receivers in their Gothic seats, had tickets in return; which being taken at the doors, admitted them to descend into the ‘theatre.’” The bill is as follows:—

We now include a bill from the famous Richardson’s Theatre dated 1825—one of those handed out during the Bartlemy Fair that year. Hone describes the theatre like this: “The outside of this show was over thirty feet tall and was one hundred feet wide. The platform outside was very high; the back was covered with green fabric and decorated with deep crimson curtains, except at two spots where the ticket-takers were, which were spacious projections styled like Gothic shrines, complete with columns and pinnacles. There were fifteen hundred colorful lights placed around the platform, some hanging from the top in the form of chandeliers and candelabras, and others arranged in garlands and drapes.[523] A band of ten musicians in bright red outfits, similar to those worn by beefeaters, constantly played clarinets, violins, trombones, and a large drum; while the performers showcased their most colorful ‘properties’ before the eager crowd. Audiences quickly went up after each performance ended, paid their fees to the ticket-takers in their Gothic booths, and received tickets in return; which, when presented at the doors, allowed them to enter the ‘theatre.’” The bill is as follows:—

*** Change of Performance each Day.

Daily Performance Change.


RICHARDSON’S
THEATRE.

RICHARDSON’S
THEATER.


This Day will be performed, an entire New Melo-Drama, called the
WANDERING
OUTLAW,
Or, the Hour of Retribution.

Today will feature the debut of a brand new melodrama called the
WANDERING
OUTLAW
Or, the Hour of Retribution.

Gustavus, Elector of Saxony Mr. Wright.
Orsina, Baron of Holstein Mr. Cooper.
Ulric and Albert, Vassals to Orsina Messrs. Grove and Moore.
St. Clair, the Wandering Outlaw Mr. Smith.
Rinalda, the Accusing Spirit Mr. Darling.
Monks, Vassals, Hunters, &c.
Rosabella, Wife to the Outlaw Mrs. Smith.
Nuns and Ladies.

The Piece concludes with the Death of Orsina, and the Appearance
of the
ACCUSING SPIRIT.

The Piece concludes with the Passing away of Orsina, and the Appearance
of the
ACCUSING SPIRIT.


The Entertainments to conclude with a New Comic Harlequinade,
with New Scenery, Tricks, Dresses, and Decorations, called

HARLEQUIN
FAUSTUS!
OR, THE
DEVIL WILL HAVE HIS OWN.
Luciferno, Mr. Thomas.

The show will conclude with a new comedic Harlequin act,
featuring new scenery, tricks, costumes, and decorations, titled

HARLEQUIN
Dr. Faustus!
OR, THE
Devil gets his way.
Luciferno, Mr. Thomas.

[524]

[524]

Dæmon Amozor, afterwards Pantaloon, Mr. Wilkinson.—Dæmon Ziokos, afterwards Clown, Mr. Hayward.—Violoncello Player, Mr. Hartem.—Baker, Mr. Thompson.—Landlord, Mr. Wilkins—Fisherman, Mr. Rae.—Dr. Faustus, afterwards Harlequin, Mr. Salter.

Dæmon Amozor, later Pantaloon, Mr. Wilkinson.—Dæmon Ziokos, later Clown, Mr. Hayward.—Cellist, Mr. Hartem.—Baker, Mr. Thompson.—Landlord, Mr. Wilkins—Fisherman, Mr. Rae.—Dr. Faustus, later Harlequin, Mr. Salter.

Adelada, afterwards Columbine,
Miss Wilmot.
Attendant Dæmons, Sprites, Fairies, Ballad Singers, Flower
Girls, &c. &c.

Adelada, later known as Columbine,
Miss Wilmot.
Attendant Demons, Sprites, Fairies, Ballad Singers, Flower
Girls, etc. etc.


The Pantomime will finish with
A SPLENDID PANORAMA
Painted by the First Artists.

The Pantomime will finish with
A Stunning View
Created by the Top Artists.


BOXES, 2s. PIT, 1s. GALLERY, 6d.

BOXES, 2s. PIT, 1s. GALLERY, 6d.

Of show advertisements of a different kind, we have preserved one or two notable specimens. The first is of the time of William and Mary, and gives itself in two languages, though, unlike the opera bill given a page or so back, it keeps them separate:—

Of advertisements for shows of a different type, we've kept one or two remarkable examples. The first is from the time of William and Mary, and it's presented in two languages, although, unlike the opera bill mentioned a page or so back, it keeps them separate:—

A Raritie in Nature.

A Rare Find in Nature.

Surpassing all Prodigies and strange Births that ever were seen, more admired by the Learned than any sort of Creature that ever was brought to England, whose Body is of different Colours, part white, part brown and smooth, part Hairy like a Satyr, with admirable unusual growings out, that no reason can be given for. This Maid is about 16 years of age, of a comely Countenance, proportionable Body, hath an excellent head of Hair, speaketh good English, is Ingenious and Modest. Any particular Company may see her at any hour of the day in Bell Savage Yard on Ludgate Hill, London.

Surpassing all wonderous sights and strange births ever witnessed, more admired by scholars than any creature ever brought to England, this girl has a body of different colors, part white, part brown and smooth, part hairy like a satyr, with remarkable growths that can't be explained. She is about 16 years old, has an attractive face, a well-proportioned body, an impressive head of hair, speaks good English, and is talented and modest. Any interested party can see her any hour of the day in Bell Savage Yard on Ludgate Hill, London.

God save the King.

God save the King.

Vne Raretée en la Nature, viz.

Vne Raretée en la Nature, viz.

Une Fille tres Admirable, elle est belle, agée de seize ans, son visage, Col, mameles, Bras & Mains, sont de Coleur Blanche, merques de beaucoup taches naturelles, les jambs, & pieds toutes de mesmes, le rest du Corps est de divers Coleurs, avec des Excrescenes fort estranges on n’a jamais veue une telle. L’on la voit en toutes heures du jour dans Bell-savage-yard on Ludgate Hill, London.

A very admirable girl, she is beautiful, sixteen years old, her face, neck, breasts, arms, and hands are white, marked with many natural spots. Her legs and feet are the same; the rest of her body is various colors, with very strange growths that have never been seen before. She can be seen at all hours of the day in Bell-Savage Yard on Ludgate Hill, London.

Vivat Rex.

Long live the King.

 

It is noticeable that the showman uses the common Latin[525] form of “Vivat Rex” under his French, and adopts an English equivalent in his other column. About twenty years ago a similar creature was shown in London, and those who had her in charge vamped up most marvellous stories to account for the lusus naturæ, both decency and probability being outraged in the attempt to excite a “sensation.” The next bill is, though of the show series, of a totally different character, and refers to one of the exhibitions of the famous Figg, the swordsman and pugilist. It is now the fashion to decry such adventures as that advertised; but it is hard to believe that both Figg and Sutton were not far more respectable characters than many who practise the licensed and misnamed sport of modern times. For ourselves, we could have looked at such free agents as the rapier and backsword men, or even the more degraded pugilists, doing their best and their worst on each other, rather than sit out an aristocratic pigeon match, assist at a battue, or be party to the coursing of trapped hares and rabbits.

It's clear that the showman uses the common Latin phrase “Vivat Rex” in his French column and an English equivalent in his other one. About twenty years ago, a similar spectacle was displayed in London, and those overseeing it concocted incredible stories to explain the lusus naturæ, with both decency and credibility being stretched in the pursuit of a “sensation.” The next ad, while part of the show series, is of a completely different nature and talks about one of Figg's exhibitions, the swordsman and boxer. Nowadays, it's popular to criticize such events as the one being advertised, but it's hard to believe that both Figg and Sutton weren't more respectable figures than many involved in the poorly named sport of today. Personally, we would have preferred watching skilled sword fighters or even the rougher boxers taking on each other, rather than sitting through an elitist pigeon shoot, attending a slaughter, or participating in the chasing of trapped hares and rabbits.

G. R.

G.R.

coat of arms

At Mr. FIGG’s New Amphitheatre.

At Mr. FIGG's New Theater.

Joyning to his House, the Sign of the City of Oxford, in Oxford Road, Marybone Fields, on Wednesday next, being the 8th of June, 1726. Will be Perform’d a Tryal of Skill by the following Masters.

Joyning to his House, the Sign of the City of Oxford, in Oxford Road, Marybone Fields, on Wednesday next, being the 8th of June, 1726. There will be a trial of skill performed by the following Masters.

WHereas I EDWARD SUTTON, Pipemaker from Gravesend, and Kentish Professor of the Noble Science of Defence, having, under a Sleeveless Pretence been deny’d a Combat by and with the Extoll’d Mr. FIGG; which I take to be occasioned through fear of his having that Glory Eclipsed by me, wherewith the Eyes of all Spectators have been so much dazzled: Therefore, to make appear, that the Great Applause which has so much puff’d up this Hero, has proceeded[526] only from his Foyling such who are not worthy the name of Swordsmen, as also that he may be without any farther Excuse; I do hereby dare the said Mr. FIGG to meet as above, and dispute with me the Superiority of Judgment in the Sword (which will best appear by Cuts, &c.) at all the Weapons he is or shall be then Capable of Performing on the Stage.

WWhile I EDWARD SUTTON, a pipemaker from Gravesend, and Kentish Professor of the Noble Science of Defense, have, under a flimsy excuse, been denied a match with the esteemed Mr. FIGG; which I believe is due to his fear of having his glory overshadowed by me, which has so dazzled all spectators’ eyes: Therefore, to show that the great applause that has inflated this hero’s ego has come[526] only from defeating those unworthy of the title of swordsman, and so that he may have no further excuses; I hereby challenge Mr. FIGG to meet as stated above, and debate the superiority of judgment in swordplay (which will be best demonstrated by cuts, &c.) in all the weapons he is or will be capable of performing on stage.


I JAMES FIGG, Oxonian Professor of the said Science, will not fail giving this daring Kentish Champion an Opportunity to make good his Allegations; when, it is to be hop’d, if he finds himself Foyl’d he will then change his Tone, and not think himself one of the Number who are not worthy the Name of Swordsmen, as he is pleased to signifie by his Expression: However, as the most significant Way of deciding these Controversies is by Action, I shall defer what I have farther to Act till the Time above specified; when I shall take care not to deviate from my usual Custom, in making all such Bravadoes sensible of their Error, as also in giving all Spectators intire Satisfaction.

I JAMES FIGG, the Professor of the said Science from Oxford, will make sure to give this bold Kentish champion the chance to prove his claims; when, hopefully, if he finds himself defeated, he will change his attitude, and not consider himself among those who aren't worthy of the title of swordsmen, as he has implied. However, since the most meaningful way to settle these disputes is through action, I will hold off on any further actions until the specified time; when I will ensure I don't stray from my usual practice, making sure all such brash individuals realize their mistake, and providing complete satisfaction to all spectators.

N.B. The Doors will be open’d at Four, and the Masters mount between Six and Seven exactly. VIVAT REX.

N.B. The doors will open at four, and the masters will take the stage between six and seven exactly. LONG LIVE THE KING.

Sutton does not seem to have made much but hard knocks by his desire to uphold the honour of pipemakers and Kentish men, for Figg is generally characterised as retiring undefeated, and Captain Godfrey, the great amateur of his day, makes reference to the defeat of Sutton in his “Treatise upon the Useful Science of Defence” (1747). Speaking of the Oxford professor, he says: “Fig was the atlas of the sword, and may he remain the gladiating statue! In him, strength, resolution, and unparalleled judgment conspired to form a matchless master. There was a majesty shone in his countenance, and blazed in all his actions, beyond all I ever saw. His right leg bold and firm, and his left, which could hardly ever be disturbed, gave him the surprising advantage already proved, and struck his adversary with despair and panic. He had that peculiar way of stepping in I spoke of in a parry; he knew his arm and its just time of moving, put a firm faith in that, and never let his adversary escape his parry. He was just as much a greater master than any other I ever saw, as he was a[527] greater judge of time and measure.” Of Sutton the enthusiastic captain tells us that “he was a resolute, pushing, awkward swordsman; but by his busy intruding arm, and scrambling legs, there were few judgments but what were disordered and disconcerted. Fig managed him the best of any by his charming distinction of time and measure, in which he far excelled all, and sufficiently proved these two be the sword’s true foundation.” Figg was also a great bruiser, and was regarded as the champion of the boxers as well as the master of the swordsmen. He was a genial good-tempered fellow, and was the boon companion of many eminent authors and artists of his time.

Sutton doesn't seem to have gained much from his effort to uphold the honor of pipemakers and Kentish men, as Figg is typically described as unbeaten. Captain Godfrey, a prominent amateur of his era, mentions Sutton's defeat in his “Treatise upon the Useful Science of Defence” (1747). When talking about the Oxford professor, he states: “Fig was the giant of the sword, and may he remain the legendary statue! In him, strength, determination, and exceptional judgment combined to create an unmatched master. There was a majesty in his expression and in all his actions that surpassed anyone I’ve ever seen. His right leg was bold and solid, while his left, which was hardly ever shaken, gave him the astonishing advantage already proven, instilling despair and panic in his opponent. He had that distinctive way of stepping in that I mentioned during a parry; he understood his arm and the perfect timing for its movement, trusted in that, and never let his opponent escape his parry. He was a far superior master than anyone else I ever witnessed, as well as a better judge of timing and distance.” About Sutton, the enthusiastic captain tells us, “he was a determined, aggressive, and somewhat clumsy swordsman; however, his excessively active arm and flailing legs made it hard for others to maintain their composure. Fig managed him better than anyone due to his exceptional understanding of timing and distance, which he clearly proved to be the true foundation of swordsmanship.” Figg was also a formidable fighter and was recognized as the champion of boxers, as well as a master of swordsmen. He was a friendly, good-natured guy and was a close companion of many notable writers and artists of his time.

So much for show and play bills, and the celebrities to whom they have introduced us. We will now turn to handbill and poster advertisements of various descriptions. Tickets and bills containing the information that apartments were to be let were set up over doors at least as early as 1665. In the “Pillulæ Pestilentialis” of the Rev. Richard Hingston, preacher, of St James’s, Clerkenwell, there is the following in reference to the Plague and the practice just mentioned:—

So much for show and promotional flyers, and the celebrities they have introduced us to. Now, let’s focus on handbill and poster advertisements of different kinds. Tickets and notices about available apartments were posted over doors as early as 1665. In the “Pillulæ Pestilentialis” by Rev. Richard Hingston, preacher at St James’s, Clerkenwell, there's a reference to the Plague and the practice just mentioned:—

No signs were posted on our doors then. With "Chambers fully furnished for rent," But a sorrowful “Lord, have mercy on us” and
A bloody Cross stood as deadly marks.

At the end of a pamphlet, printed in 1673, entitled “An Essay to revive the Ancient Education of Gentlewomen, in Religion, Manners, and Tongues,” there is a postscript, containing an advertisement of a boarding school at Tottenham High Cross. This establishment was under the management of Mrs Makin, who had been tutoress to the Princess Elizabeth, daughter of Charles I., and who put forth part of her prospectus in the following manner:—

At the end of a pamphlet printed in 1673, titled “An Essay to Revive the Ancient Education of Gentlewomen, in Religion, Manners, and Tongues,” there’s a postscript that includes an advertisement for a boarding school at Tottenham High Cross. This school was run by Mrs. Makin, who had been a tutor to Princess Elizabeth, the daughter of Charles I., and she presented part of her prospectus in the following manner:—

Here by the blessing of God, Gentlewomen may be instructed in the principles of Religion, and in all manner of sober and virtuous Education:[528] more especially in all Things ordinarily taught in Schools for the other Sex; as in

Here, with God's blessing, women can learn the principles of religion and receive a well-rounded education: [528] especially in all the subjects typically taught in schools for men; such as in

  • Works of all sorts,
  • Dancing,
  • Music,
  • Singing,
  • Writing,
  • Keeping Accounts.

Half the Time is to be spent in these Things, and the other half to be employed in gaining the Latin and French Tongues, and those that please may learn Greek and Hebrew, the Italian and Spanish; in all which this Gentlewoman hath a competent knowledge.

Half the time should be spent on these topics, and the other half should be dedicated to learning Latin and French. Those who are interested may also learn Greek and Hebrew, as well as Italian and Spanish; in all these languages, this woman has a good level of knowledge.

Gentlewomen of eight or nine Years old, that can read well, may be instructed in a Year or two (according to their Parts) in the Latin and French Tongues, by plain and short Rules accommodated to the English Tongue.

Girls around eight or nine years old who can read well can be taught the Latin and French languages in a year or two (depending on their abilities) using simple and straightforward rules tailored to English.

Those that will bestow a longer Time may learn the other Languages before mentioned, if they please.

Those who are willing to spend more time can learn the other languages mentioned earlier, if they want to.

Repositories also for Visibles shall be prepared, by which from beholding the things, Gentlewomen may learn the Names, Natures, Values, and Uses of Herbs, Shrubs, Trees, mineral Juices, Metals and Stones.

Repositories for visible items will also be set up, where women can learn about the names, characteristics, values, and uses of herbs, shrubs, trees, mineral juices, metals, and stones through observation.

Those that please may learn Limning, Preserving, Pastry, and Cookery, etc.

Those who are interested can learn drawing, preserving, baking, and cooking, etc.

The rate shall be certain £20 per Annum; but if a competent improvement be made in the Tongues, and the other Things before mentioned, as shall be agreed upon them, something more will be expected. But the Parents shall judge what shall be deserved by the Undertaker.

The rate will be a fixed £20 per year; however, if there is a significant improvement in the subjects and other things mentioned, as agreed upon, a little more will be expected. But the parents will determine what the contractor deserves.

Sterne, who knew as much about struggles and adversity as most people, used to tell this story about his young days: “I happened to be acquainted with a young man from Yorkshire, who rented a window in one of the paved alleys near Cornhill, for the sale of stationery. I hired one of the panes of glass from my friend, and stuck up the following advertisement with wafers:—

Sterne, who understood struggles and hardship like most people, used to tell this story from his youth: “I knew a young man from Yorkshire who rented a window in one of the cobbled alleys near Cornhill to sell stationery. I rented one of the panes of glass from my friend and put up the following advertisement with wafers:—

Epigrams, Anagrams, Paragrams, Chronograms, Monograms, Epitaphs, Epithalamiums, Prologues, Epilogues, Madrigals, Interludes, Advertisements, Letters, Petitions, Memorials, on every occasion, Essays on every subject, Pamphlets for and against Ministers, Sermons upon any Text or for any Sect, to be written here, on reasonable terms, by

Epigrams, Anagrams, Paragrams, Chronograms, Monograms, Epitaphs, Epithalamiums, Prologues, Epilogues, Madrigals, Interludes, Advertisements, Letters, Petitions, Memorials, for every occasion, Essays on any topic, Pamphlets for and against Ministers, Sermons on any Text or for any Sect, to be written here, at reasonable rates, by

A. B. Philologer.

A. B. Philologist.

[529]

[529]

“The uncommonness of the titles occasioned numerous applications, and at night I used privately to glide into the office to digest the notes or heads of the day, and receive the earnest which was directed always to be left with the memorandums, the writing to be paid for on delivery, according to the subject.” Yorick speedily became disgusted with this employment, however, and as soon as he possibly could retired from it.

“The rarity of the titles led to many applications, and at night I would quietly slip into the office to go over the notes or key points from the day, and collect the earnest money that was always supposed to be left with the memorandums, with the payment for the writing due upon delivery, based on the topic.” Yorick quickly became fed up with this job, though, and as soon as he could, he stepped away from it.

Another of the triumphs which have unfortunately not come down to the present generation, and which many will consider to be hardly compensated for by gas, steam, and electricity, the postal service and the police system, is that of Mr Nunn, whose bill, published to the world in the latter portion of the eighteenth century, runs thus:—

Another triumph that hasn’t unfortunately been passed down to today's generation, and that many will think is hardly balanced out by gas, steam, and electricity, is the postal service and the police system, which was introduced by Mr. Nunn. His bill, released to the public in the late 18th century, goes like this:

Breeches Making improved by Geometry.

Pants Making Improved by Geometry.

Thomas Nunn, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square, has invented a System on a mathematical Principle, by which Difficulties are solved, and Errors corrected; its usefulness for Ease and Neatness in fitting is incomparable, and is the only perfect Rule for that Work ever discovered. Several hundreds (Noblemen, Gentlemen, and Others) who have had Proof of its Utility, allow it to excel all they ever made Trial of.

Thomas Nunn, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square, has created a system based on mathematical principles that resolves challenges and corrects mistakes. Its value for comfort and precision in fitting is unmatched, making it the only flawless guide for this work ever found. Several hundred (noblemen, gentlemen, and others) who have experienced its effectiveness agree that it surpasses everything they have ever tried.

N.B. An approved Method is adopted for keeping them clean without discommoding by Dust.

N.B. An approved method is used to keep them clean without being bothered by dust.

In some future day, when personal comfort again becomes one of the fine arts, one of the chief tests for a wranglership may be the making of mathematical breeches. If the age is very material, perhaps the approved method of cleaning them may stand in stead of classics, which are already going much out of fashion. Our next specimen comes from the Emerald Isle, and though short is well marked with both of the most prominent characteristics of the natives. It was given away and posted up in various parts of Dublin at the end of July 1781:—

In some future time, when personal comfort is once again considered an art form, one of the main tests for leadership might be the creation of stylish pants. If society becomes very focused on material things, maybe the best way to clean them will take the place of classic literature, which is already falling out of style. Our next example comes from Ireland, and although it's brief, it clearly showcases the two most notable traits of the locals. It was distributed and put up in various places around Dublin at the end of July 1781:—

This is to certify that I, Daniel O’Flannaghan, am not the Person that was tarred and feathered by the Liberty Mob, on Tuesday last; and I am ready to give 20 Guineas to any one that will lay me 50, that I am the other Man who goes by my Name.

This is to certify that I, Daniel O’Flannaghan, am not the person who was tarred and feathered by the Liberty Mob last Tuesday; and I am willing to give 20 guineas to anyone who can prove that I am the other man who shares my name.

Witness my Hand, this 30th July. Daniel O’Flannaghan.

Witness my hand, this July 30th. Daniel O'Flannaghan.

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[530]

A man who can afford to lay seventy guineas to thirty that he is himself, and nobody else, deserves credit for his boldness, if not for his ingenuity. Another bill from Ireland, of a few years later on, next claims our attention. It refers to a house to let in Coleraine, and is a specimen of quite another kind of Hibernian humour:—

A guy who can bet seventy guineas against thirty that he is who he says he is, and no one else, deserves some recognition for his bravery, if not for his cleverness. Another bill from Ireland, from a few years later, now catches our eye. It talks about a house for rent in Coleraine and is an example of a very different kind of Irish humor:—

To be Let
To an Oppidan, a Ruricolist, or a Cosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately.

For Rent
To a Student, a Rural Resident, or a Urban Resident, and can be moved into right away.

The House in Stone Row, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid verbosity the proprietor with compendiosity will give a perfunctory description of the premises, in the compagination of which he has sedulously studied the convenience of the occupant—it is free from opacity, tenebrosity, fumidity, and injucundity, and no building can have greater pellucidity or translucency—in short, its diaphaneity even in the crepuscule makes it like a pharos, and without laud, for its agglutimation and amenity, it is a most delectable commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the neighbours have none of the truculence, the immanity, the torvity, the spinosity, the putidness, the pugnacity, nor the fugacity observable in other parts of the town; their propinquity and consanguinity occasions jucundity and pudicity—from which, and the redolence of the place (even in the dog days) they are remarkable for longevity. For terms and particulars apply to James Hutchison, opposite the Market House.

The House on Stone Row, recently owned by Capt. Siree. To keep it brief, the owner will provide a quick description of the property, which has been thoughtfully designed for the comfort of its occupant. It is free from darkness, dampness, and unpleasantness, and no other building can boast greater brightness or clarity—essentially, its transparency even at twilight makes it feel like a lighthouse. Beyond its charm and comfort, it is a truly lovely place to live; anyone who stays here will notice that the neighbors are friendly and not aggressive, unpleasant, or bothersome like in other parts of the town. Their closeness creates joy and respectfulness, and the pleasant atmosphere of the area (even in the hottest months) contributes to their remarkable longevity. For pricing and details, contact James Hutchison, across from the Market Hall.

Coleraine, 30th September, 1790.

Coleraine, September 30, 1790.

We commend this to that rather numerous class of people who like words with plenty of sound, and regard sense as quite a secondary consideration. Dogberry would have been delighted with it, and the writer could have commanded his own price as a contributor to certain newspapers, or as a sporting tipster. We have already given our readers an advertising tombstone, which was a swindle, inasmuch as it was placed up to the memory of a person who never existed. We now give another, which is really what it pretends to be—an improvement of the opportunity to combine business, not with pleasure, but with mourning. It stood, we are told, in a burial-ground belonging to one of our old ivy-clad churches in the North, and was an elegantly-carved memorial stone, the inscription being:—

We recommend this to the large group of people who enjoy words that sound impressive, and see meaning as a secondary issue. Dogberry would have loved it, and the writer could have charged whatever he wanted as a contributor to certain newspapers or as a sports tipster. We’ve already shared an advertising tombstone with our readers, which was a scam since it was set up for someone who never existed. Now we present another one, which is genuinely what it claims to be—an opportunity to mix business, not with pleasure, but with mourning. It was reportedly located in a graveyard belonging to one of our old ivy-covered churches in the North, and it featured an elegantly carved memorial stone, with the inscription being:—

[531]

[531]

Sacred to the Memory
of
JOHN ROBERTS,
Stonemason and Tombcutter,
Who died on Saturday, October the 8th, 1800.
N.B.—The business carried on by the Widow at No. 1, Freshfield place.

Sacred to the Memory
of
JOHN ROBERTS,
Stonemason and Tombcutter,
Who passed away on Saturday, October 8th, 1800.
N.B.—The business is continued by the Widow at No. 1, Freshfield Place.

tombstone

HERE LYES
JEREMY JOBBINS
An Affectionate husband
AND
A TENDER PARENT

HERE LIES
JEREMY JOBBINS
A Caring Husband
AND
A Caring Parent

HIS·DISCONSOLATE·WIDOW
IN·THE·HOPE·OF·A·BETTER·MEATING
CONTINUES TO
CARRY ON
THE LONG ESTABLISHED
TRIPE AND TROTTER
BUSINESS
AT·THE·SAME·PLACE
AS
BEFORE HER LAMENTED
BEREAVEMENT

HIS DISHEARTENED WIDOW
IN THE HOPE OF A BETTER MEETING
CONTINUES TO
KEEP RUNNING
THE LONG-ESTABLISHED
TRIPE AND TROTTER
BUSINESS
AT THE SAME PLACE
AS
BEFORE HER BELOVED LOSS


READER·PAUSE·&·NOTICE THE·ADDRESS

READER, PAUSE & NOTICE THE ADDRESS

Perhaps her being in the “tombstone line” may be an excuse for the widow Roberts. We don’t suppose she needed one, however, for any one who would do what she did would be quite callous as to the world’s opinions. Of the two we much prefer the Frenchman who erected the stone to an entirely supposititious person, to the widow who traded on her husband’s grave. This reminds us that we have received, among many communications, one containing the above sketch of an advertising tombstone, which the[532] writer, who dates from a well-known town in the north, Gateshead, states positively stood in a neighbouring churchyard within his recollection. The address, he says, was on the footstone. We give the illustration “without prejudice.” Do tripe and trotters after all produce a prosaic condition of the human mind suggested by this tombstone, or would the relict of Jeremy have done as she did had her wares been of a different kind? In the interests of the edibles referred to, for which we must confess a weakness, we trust she would. But who shall say?

Maybe her being in the “tombstone line” could be an excuse for widow Roberts. However, we doubt she needed one since anyone who would do what she did must be pretty callous about what the world thinks. Between the two, we definitely prefer the Frenchman who put up the stone for a completely made-up person over the widow who exploited her husband's grave. This reminds us that we received, among many messages, one containing the sketch of an advertising tombstone, which the[532] writer, from a well-known town in the north, Gateshead, claims stood in a nearby churchyard within his memory. He says the address was on the footstone. We present the illustration “without prejudice.” Do tripe and trotters actually create a dull state of mind similar to what this tombstone suggests, or would Jeremy's widow have acted differently if her products were something else? For the sake of the foods mentioned, which we must admit we have a soft spot for, we hope she would have. But who can say?

At the time of the marriage of George the Third’s eldest daughter to the Duke of Wurtemburg, a curious little handbill was given away about London. It was printed on both sides, and looked like a tract. Its contents were to the following effect:—

At the time of the marriage of George the Third’s eldest daughter to the Duke of Wurtemburg, a quirky little handbill was handed out around London. It was printed on both sides and looked like a pamphlet. Its contents were as follows:

Fragment of a Chapter concerning the curious Mangle of BEETHAM appointed to be read by all the Ladies and Laundresses of the land of Albion.

Fragment of a Chapter about the fascinating Mangle of BEETHAM designated for reading by all the Women and Laundry workers across the land of Britain.

By His Majesty’s special command.

By the King's special order.

CHAP. I.

CHAPTER 1.

1 Beetham’s fame and diligence. 3 his marvellous mill. 6 he constructs a mangle which surprises the World. 8 The Princesses visit his museum and praise the curious Machinery. 16 He is mimiced by others. 18 The King grants his royal patent to the Artist. 22 Beetham is recompensed by the nobles and the people.

1 Beetham's reputation and hard work. 3 his incredible mill. 6 he builds a mangle that astonishes everyone. 8 The princesses visit his museum and admire the amazing machinery. 16 Others try to imitate him. 18 The King gives his royal patent to the artist. 22 Beetham is rewarded by the nobles and the public.

NOW it came to pass, even towards the close of the eighteenth century, that there lived in the great city which is called London a certain man of the name of Beetham who had many curious inventions.

NOW it happened, as the eighteen hundreds were nearing their end, that there lived in the large city known as London a man named Beetham who had many interesting inventions.

2 The same mechanic while the world waged war against Albion cultivated with all diligence the arts of Peace in the ways of wisdom.

2 The same mechanic, while the world was at war with Albion, diligently focused on the arts of peace through wisdom.

3 When therefore he saw that his washing mill pleased the people and was daily employed by all throughout the regions of Britain and her colonies.

3 When he saw that his washing mill was popular with the people and was being used daily by everyone across Britain and its colonies.

4 Behold he also constructed another machine more marvellous than the first which is called a Mangle even to this day. 5 Neither adhered[533] he to the old gothic plan of his predecessors but formed it new and surprising in simplicity so that a little maiden could set it in motion.

4 Look, he also built another machine that's even more amazing than the first, which is still called a Mangle today. 5 He didn't stick to the old gothic design of his predecessors but created something fresh and surprisingly simple, so even a young girl could operate it.

6 And it came to pass when a great company of ladies and laundresses beheld the infant turn the wheel with wonderful ease and moreover saw the wheel move backwards as well as the way of the wheel whose revolution was always the same and also saw it move as by self instinct.

6 And it happened that when a large group of women and laundresses saw the baby effortlessly turn the wheel, and also noticed the wheel spinning backward in addition to the usual way it turned, they saw it move as if it had a mind of its own.

7 That they cried aloud with one voice saying, great and marvellous is the Mangle of Beetham.

7 They shouted together with one voice, saying, great and wonderful is the Mangle of Beetham.

8 And in process of time, the princesses and the nobles accompanied a certain great prince who came from a far country to carry away a royal beauty, even the eldest daughter of the King.

8 And after some time, the princesses and the nobles joined a great prince from a distant land who came to take away the royal beauty, the eldest daughter of the King.

9 And behold as they passed on their way to view the wonders of the great temple of Paul, one of the damsels lifted up her azure eyes and beheld the Museum of Beetham fronting the temple of Dunstan.

9 And look, as they continued on their path to see the wonders of the great temple of Paul, one of the young women raised her blue eyes and saw the Museum of Beetham facing the temple of Dunstan.

10 At that instant the child was turning the wonderful Mill which laved the fine linen clean and white in the twinkling of an eye;

10 At that moment, the child was operating the amazing Mill, which washed the fine linen clean and white in the blink of an eye;

11 Also another child by its feeble arm was moving the newly invented Mangle.

11 Also, another child was using its weak arm to operate the newly invented Mangle.

12 And lo, one of the nobles cried, wherefore should we pass on further into the city, let us step aside and see this miracle.

12 And look, one of the nobles shouted, why should we go further into the city? Let's pause and see this miracle.

13 Now it came to pass that the company alighted from their gilded chariots and went into the Museum, and marvelled much at the curious machines.

13 Now it happened that the group got out of their fancy cars and went into the Museum, and they were amazed by the strange machines.

14 And when they saw the Mill and the Mangle, the Wringer also, and the machine for the Churning of Milk, which even Solomon with all his wisdom never invented.

14 And when they saw the Mill and the Mangle, the Wringer as well, and the machine for the Churning of Milk, which even Solomon with all his wisdom never came up with.

15 They all with one accord commanded the master of the Museum to prepare for the Princess one of each of these curious machines; to the end she might spread the fame of the inventor all over the land, in which she was soon to be a sojourner.

15 They all agreed and told the head of the Museum to make one of each of these fascinating machines for the Princess; so she could promote the inventor's fame throughout the land where she would soon be visiting.

16 ¶ Now—the Mimic Machinists of those days by their enchantments strove to surpass Beetham, but failed by falling into the great chaos of complication:

16 ¶ Now—the Mimic Machinists of those days, with their tricks, tried to outdo Beetham, but they failed and ended up lost in a huge chaos of complexity:

17 So that, like the builders of Babel they were confounded; crying aloud, surely all machination against Beetham must fail, neither can we imitate the simplicity of his Mangle.

17 So that, like the builders of Babel, they were confused; shouting, surely all schemes against Beetham will fail, and we can't replicate the simplicity of his Mangle.

18 And word was carried to the King in those days, even concerning the new invention of the artist of London.

18 And news reached the King during those days about the new invention by the artist from London.

19 Which prevailed upon him when he also heard of the utility of the Mangle in tender kindness to all the laundresses of the land to cause his Royal signet to be set on a certain parchment called a patent.

19 Which convinced him, after hearing about the usefulness of the Mangle in showing kindness to all the laundresses in the country, to have his Royal signet placed on a specific document known as a patent.

20 So that until twice seven seasons should pass no man should imitate the machine but by the consent of Beetham the Proprietor thereof.

20 So that until fourteen seasons have passed, no one should copy the machine without the permission of Beetham the owner of it.

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[534]

21 And when the King had so done, lo there was prepared many machines of various sizes in order that the high and the low, the rich and the poor, might use the same throughout the land, but Beetham was the vender of them all.

21 And when the King had finished, there were many machines of different sizes prepared so that everyone, whether high or low, rich or poor, could use them across the land, but Beetham was the seller of them all.

22 And for those which the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the Land did cause to be sent to them which were made of Oak whose duration shall far exceed the years of the generations of the sons of men and which were for smoothing all the linen of the Households of the mighty nobles, Beetham received certain pieces of money which being counted in the coin of Albion amounted to Ten guineas.

22 And for those that the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the Land had sent to them, made of oak that will last far longer than the years of human generations, and which were used for smoothing all the linens of the households of the powerful nobles, Beetham received a certain amount of money that, when counted in the currency of Albion, totaled ten guineas.

23 And for such as were made of the wood called Beech he received nine pieces of gold and for others eight pieces of the like coin, but for less than eight pieces Beetham sent not the Mangle forth among the inhabitants of the land.

23 And for those made of Beech wood, he received nine pieces of gold, and for others, eight pieces of the same coin. However, Beetham did not send out the Mangle among the people of the land for less than eight pieces.

24 And behold all the people rejoiced extremely and the fame of the Mangle was spread abroad among all the isles of Britain even to the remotest part thereof; and the ships of the sea were laden with the same machines to the Colonies abroad, and in all those parts of the Earth where Economy is an object, where Convenience is desirable, and where Cleanliness is esteemed next to Godliness.

24 And look, all the people were really excited, and the reputation of the Mangle spread throughout all the islands of Britain, even to the farthest reaches; ships at sea were filled with these machines heading to the Colonies, as well as to all those places on Earth where saving money is important, where convenience is preferred, and where cleanliness is valued just as much as being good.


Mr. BEETHAM’s
NEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILL

Mr. BEETHAM’s
NEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILL

IS so universally used and Economical, that it deserves the serious attention of the Public in general.

IS so widely used and cost-effective that it deserves significant attention from the general public.

1 It renders the linen whiter and cleaner than it can be made by any other method.

1 It makes the linen whiter and cleaner than any other method can.

2 It will wash more in one hour than ten women can in the same time.

2 It can clean more in one hour than ten women can in that same time.

3 It is so saving, that for Five Shillings it will wash as much as will cost One Guinea in the common mode.

3 It's so economical that for Five Shillings it can wash as much as would cost One Guinea using the usual method.

4 The price of the Mill is very soon cleared by what it saves in soap, coals, manual labour and the preservation of the linen.

4 The cost of the mill is quickly offset by the savings in soap, coal, labor, and the upkeep of the linen.

This invaluable invention may be seen from Eleven until Two every day.

This invaluable invention can be seen from 11 AM to 2 PM every day.

A Mill large enough to wash 8 shirts 4l. 4s.  14, 4l. 14s. 6d.  18, 5l. 5s.  24, 6l. 6s.

A mill big enough to wash 8 shirts costs £4. 4s. 14, £4. 14s. 6d. 18, £5. 5s. 24, £6. 6s.

One to first and second, 10l. 10s.  Wringer, 1l. 1s.

One to first and second, £10.10. Wringer, £1.1.

This Beetham was the grandfather, on her mother’s side, of Miss Reed, the celebrated old lady of Stamford Street, whose houses were for many years in a notoriously dismantled[535] and dilapidated condition, and who not very long since left a hundred thousand pounds to the Brompton Hospital. Her mother was a pupil of Opie’s, and before she married Mr Reed, a solicitor, some of her pictures were exhibited as those of her master. She late in life became eccentric, but not to such an extent as her daughter, whose name was at one time almost a household word. Another tradesman of the City, who was well known for his devotion to the art of advertising, early in the present century put forth this, which is rather magniloquent, considering the subject which forms its basis:—

This Beetham was Miss Reed’s grandfather on her mom’s side, the famous old lady from Stamford Street, whose houses were notoriously rundown and in bad shape for many years, and who not long ago left a hundred thousand pounds to the Brompton Hospital. Her mother was a student of Opie’s, and before she married Mr. Reed, a solicitor, some of her paintings were shown as works by her teacher. Later in life, she became a bit eccentric, but not as much as her daughter, whose name was once nearly a household name. Another merchant in the City, who was known for his passion for advertising, put out this rather grand statement earlier in this century, considering the subject it was based on:—

MAY the Wings of Extravagance be clipped by the Scissars of Economy—was the constant toast of a person who knew very well the value of a sixpence. To all good economists would Romanis wish to be recommended, though but a bad practitioner himself, (he is a little like the clergy—“Don’t do as I do, but as I tell you to do.”) When you want real good Stockings at a low price, come to the Sign of the Regent, 33 in Cheapside—there you have them in perfection, and I am certain sixpence in a pair is worth saving; and any one that is possest of the least spark of parsimony will give their assent. Frugality is certainly a good thing—it enables a people to pay taxes—to pay their armies—to thrash the French—to make peace on good terms—to extend commerce—to make people live long and comfortable:

MAY Wings of Luxury be clipped by the Scissors of Economy—was the constant toast of someone who understood the value of a sixpence. All good economists should recommend Romanis, even though he himself is not a great practitioner, (he's a bit like the clergy—“Don’t do as I do, but as I tell you to do.”) If you want really good stockings at a low price, head to the Sign of the Regent, 33 Cheapside—there you’ll find them perfect, and I’m sure saving sixpence on a pair is worth it; anyone with even a little sense of thrift will agree. Frugality is definitely a good thing—it allows people to pay taxes—to support their armies—to beat the French—to negotiate peace on favorable terms—to expand commerce—to help people live long and comfortably:

FOR STOCKINGS

FOR TIGHTS

Romanis against the whole World, at his Mart, 33 Cheapside.

Romanis against the whole world, at his market, 33 Cheapside.

From small beginnings great events arise—only see what benefit to the nation as well as to private individuals accrued from the purchase of cheap stockings. Romanis has never been mentioned in conjunction with Wellington, yet he seems to have had a good deal to do towards building up the victory of Waterloo, and ought to have been remembered, say as much as Blucher, who has been immortalised in the way of boots while the stocking-seller has been clean forgotten.

From small beginnings come great events—just look at the benefits to both the nation and individuals from the purchase of inexpensive stockings. Romanis has never been mentioned alongside Wellington, yet he seems to have played a significant role in securing the victory at Waterloo and should be remembered, perhaps as much as Blucher, who has been celebrated in the context of boots while the seller of stockings has been completely overlooked.

Another curious advertiser was William Hall of Lynn, who flourished early in the present century. According to Hone, Hall was a celebrated antiquarian bookseller, and[536] received the alias of Will Will-be-So. He was also an auctioneer, and on the market-day he would knock down his lots in great style, and with many whimsical remarks. He had a craze for verse, and in such as follows all his advertisements were written:—

Another interesting advertiser was William Hall of Lynn, who was prominent in the early 2000s. According to Hone, Hall was a well-known antiquarian bookseller and was nicknamed Will Will-be-So. He was also an auctioneer, and on market days, he would sell his items with great flair and plenty of quirky comments. He had a passion for poetry, and all his advertisements were written in a similar style:—

Lynn, 19th September, 1810.

Lynn, September 19, 1810.

First Tuesday of next October,
Now, don't doubt that we’ll be serious!
If Providence allows us to act,
You can rely on Auction,
At the stand That’s taken by WILLIAM HALL.
To list a task would be—
The best way is to come and see; But to avoid being too vague, We'll provide a sketch that we will guarantee. About one hundred books, in appropriate lots,
And almost the same in shoe-lasts; Coats, vests, pants, shining buttons, Maybe ten thousand leather cuttings,
Sold by the pound—it's your choice, but ask for it,
Will be weighed for you in a basket;
A bunch of tools to test out,
About one hundred pounds of iron; Scales, pottery, armchairs, a teapot, Tea chests, a herring tub, etc.; Our intention is to include various other things,
Which are too boring to mention here.
Note: To clear up any misunderstandings before you get closer, The responsibility placed on the buyer; And if we find that we're not confused,
We'll continue it next Tuesday.

We have two more specimens of the English peculiar to Continentalists, the first being of about the same period as Hall’s verse. It is an exact copy of a card circulated by the landlord of an hotel at Ghent:—

We have two more examples of the English style typical of Continentalists, the first being from around the same time as Hall’s verse. It is an exact copy of a card distributed by the owner of a hotel in Ghent:—

Mr. Dewitt, in the Golden Apple, out of the Bruges Gate at Ghent, has the honour to prevent the Persons who would come at his house,[537] that they shall find there always good and spacious Lodgings, a Table served at their taste, Wine of any quality, etc. Besides he hires Horses and Chaises, which shall be of a great conveniency for the Travellers; the Bark of Bruges depart and arrives every day before his door. He dares flatter himself, that they shall be satisfied, as well with the cheapness of the price, as with the cares such an establishment requires.

Mr. Dewitt, at the Golden Apple, just outside the Bruges Gate in Ghent, is pleased to inform guests that they will always find comfortable and spacious accommodations, a table set to their liking, a selection of wines, and more. Additionally, he offers horses and carriages, which will be very convenient for travelers. The Bruges ferry leaves and arrives right in front of his establishment every day. He is confident that guests will be pleased with both the affordability and the attention to detail of his services.[537]

This and the next, which was given to the world in 1822, may cause English people who fancy they have the most correct knowledge of French, as well as the true Parisian accent, to be a little cautious in their belief, for there is no doubt that the authors of both notices were very strong on their powers of “spiking the English,” as many French announcements have it:—

This and the next one, which was released to the world in 1822, might make English people who think they have the most accurate understanding of French, as well as the authentic Parisian accent, a bit uncertain in their confidence. There's no doubt that the authors of both notices were quite assertive about their ability to "nail the English," as many French announcements have it:—

M. MARLOTEAU et Cie.
Manufacturers from Paris,
37, MONTMORENCY-STREET,
To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford street.

M. MARLOTEAU and Co.
Parisian manufacturers,
37, MONTMORENCY-STREET,
To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford Street.

Acquaint the Trade in general, that they have just established in London.

Acquaint the trade in general that they have just established in London.

A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feathar from hat ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE.

A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feather from hat ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE.

And of Manufactures of Paris, complette sets ornaments for balls, snuff boxes scale gold and silver, boxes toilette, ribbons and embroidered, hat et cap, from Ladies of the newest Taste, China, all sorts, etc.

And of Manufacturers of Paris, complete sets of ornaments for balls, gold and silver snuff boxes, toiletry boxes, ribbons and embroidery, hats and caps from the latest styles for ladies, China, all kinds, etc.

He commit generally the articles from Paris, Manufacturers.
And send in all BRITISH CITY.
Attandance from Nine o’Clock in the Morning till five in the Afternoon.

He generally handles the items from Paris, Manufacturers.
And sends them to all BRITISH CITY.
Attendance from 9 A.M. to 5 P.M.

Before and during the year 1825 a man used to stand at the corner of Fleet Market, and deliver handbills in the interest of a society which had for its object the genteel and comfortable interment of its members. One of these[538] advertisements has been preserved, and a copy of it is appended. Its commencement is curious, and must at times have somewhat disconcerted incautious readers, who in the midst of their business cares or pleasure pursuits suddenly had the notice of death thrust upon them. Sir Thomas Browne, who professed to know all about mortality, says that “man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave.” Whoever drew up the handbill was certainly aware of the craving which exists in many minds, especially among the lower orders, for a good funeral, and made abundant provision for it. Really a tædium vitæ almost creeps over one upon reading it. Who would not be willing to die, in death to be attended as is promised? Two rows all round of close-drove best black japanned nails feelingly invite and almost irresistibly persuade us to come and be screwed down. What aching head can resist the temptation to repose presented by the handsome crape shroud, the cap, and pillow? What sting is there in death which handles with wrought gripes are not calculated to pluck away? What victory in the grave which the drops and the velvet pall do not render at least extremely disputable? And, above all, a pretty emblematic plate, with the angel above and the flower beneath, is utterly irresistible. But we in our rhapsody had forgotten to copy the bill:—

Before and during the year 1825, a man used to stand at the corner of Fleet Market and hand out flyers for a society focused on the dignified and comfortable burial of its members. One of these[538] advertisements has been preserved, and a copy of it is attached. Its beginning is interesting and must have occasionally startled careless readers, who, caught up in their daily concerns or leisure activities, suddenly faced the reality of death. Sir Thomas Browne, who claimed to understand all about mortality, says that “man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave.” Whoever wrote the flyer was clearly aware of the desire many people, especially those from lower classes, have for a proper funeral and made sure to cater to that need. In fact, a sense of weariness towards life almost creeps over you when reading it. Who wouldn’t want to die if it meant being treated as promised in death? Two rows of high-quality black japanned nails around the coffin enticingly invite us, almost persuading us, to come and be laid to rest. What tired mind can resist the allure of the elegant crape shroud, the cap, and the pillow? What pain is left in death that finely-crafted grips can’t seem to ease? What triumph in the grave can’t be called into question by the drops and the velvet pall? And, most importantly, a beautiful emblematic plate, with the angel on top and the flower below, is utterly captivating. But in our excitement, we forgot to copy the bill:—

BURIAL SOCIETY.

Funeral Society.

A favourable opportunity now offers to any person, of either sex, who would wish to be buried in a genteel manner, by paying one shilling entrance, and twopence per week for the benefit of the stock. Members to be free in six months. The money to be paid at Mr. Middleton’s at the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market. The deceased to be furnished as follows: a strong elm coffin, covered with superfine black, and finished with two rows, all round, close drove, best black japanned nails, and adorned with ornamental drops, a handsome plate of inscription, angel above, and flower beneath, and four pair of handsome handles, with wrought gripes; the coffin to be well pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a handsome crape shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a handsome velvet pall, three gentleme[539]n’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and six pair of gloves; two porters equipped to attend the funeral, a man to attend the same with band and gloves; also the burial fees paid, if not exceeding one guinea.

A great opportunity is now available for anyone, regardless of gender, who wants to have a stylish burial by paying a one-shilling entrance fee and two pence per week for the benefit of the fund. Members will be free in six months. Payments should be made at Mr. Middleton’s at the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market. The deceased will receive the following: a sturdy elm coffin, covered with high-quality black material, finished with two rows of tightly fitted, best black japanned nails, and decorated with ornamental drops, a beautiful inscription plate with an angel above and flowers below, and four pairs of elegant handles with decorative grips; the coffin will be well-pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a lovely crape shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a beautiful velvet pall, three gentlemen’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and six pairs of gloves; two porters will be present to assist with the funeral, along with a man in band and gloves; all burial fees will be covered, as long as they do not exceed one guinea.

The notice further informed the public, that though the society had only been established a very few years, upwards of eleven hundred persons had put down their names. It is worthy of remark that so many people of the industrious classes should have clubbed their twopences to avoid what they considered the disgrace of a parish funeral, and should doubtless have rejoiced when their six months had expired, and they stood face to face with the handsome velvet pall and etceteras. The very poor are to this day very particular about their funerals, and many a savoury morsel is the living body deprived of that the lifeless one may go comfortably to its last home. A labouring man’s greatest pride often is that he gave wife, parent, or child a good funeral; and this feeling is perfectly independent of the wake peculiarities and festivities that obtain among a certain section of the lower orders. Readers must be warned against an idea which they may be apt to form about the place whence these proposals issued. From the sign of the “First and Last,” they might conclude that Mr Middleton was a publican who, in assembling a club of the above description at his house, had a view to his own interest altogether foreign to the purpose for which the society was instituted. Mr Middleton was no publican, though he hung out a sign, but an honest undertaker, who also dealt in wicker ware, and who, by the exhibition of both cradle and coffin as a device, attracted attention to which the motto “First and Last” contributed in no small measure.

The notice also informed the public that, although the society had only been established for a few years, over eleven hundred people had signed up. It's worth noting that so many people from working-class backgrounds came together to pool their small contributions to avoid what they saw as the embarrassment of a parish funeral; they would have undoubtedly felt relieved when their six months were up and they faced the elegant velvet pall and other arrangements. Even today, those in extreme poverty are very particular about their funerals, and many a tasty meal is sacrificed so that the deceased can have a comfortable send-off. A laborer’s greatest pride often lies in having provided a respectable funeral for his wife, parent, or child, and this sentiment is completely separate from the unique customs and celebrations that exist among some lower-income groups. Readers should be cautious about an assumption they might make based on the name of the establishment where these proposals originated. From the sign of the “First and Last,” they might think that Mr. Middleton was a pub owner who, by organizing a club of this nature at his establishment, had ulterior motives unrelated to the society’s true purpose. However, Mr. Middleton was not a pub owner, despite the sign; he was an honest undertaker who also sold wicker goods, and by showcasing both a cradle and a coffin as part of his branding, he drew attention that the motto “First and Last” certainly helped with.

The following humorous handbill was about 1825 given away by a publican in the neighbourhood of the Strand. It is certainly a gem in its way, and shows an originality which was more likely to have been possessed by one of the needy and seedy customers hanging about in the vicinity[540] of the theatres fifty years back, than by the well-fed, well-clad, and probably bumptious “bung,” who ought to have made the writer free of his various entertainments during the long “run” they doubtless obtained if the performance was in any way as good as the programme:—

The following funny flyer was given out around 1825 by a bar owner in the Strand area. It's definitely a standout in its own right and displays a creativity that likely came from one of the broke and scruffy regulars hanging around the theaters fifty years ago, rather than the well-fed, nicely dressed, and probably arrogant "barrel," who should have let the writer enjoy his various shows for free during the long run they surely had if the performance was anywhere near as good as the program:—

Licensed by Act of Parliament.
And under the immediate Patronage of the Public.
Theatre of Epicurean Variety
at the
KING OF PRUSSIA
Wych Street.

Licensed by Act of Parliament.
And under the direct support of the public.
Epicurean Variety Theater
at the
King of Prussia
Wych Street.

W. Trampton has the honor of informing his friends and the public that his compact comfortable snug and cosey little Theatre is now open for the Winter Season; where from the well known excellence of the company engaged he trusts to meet with a share of that encouragement it will be his endeavour to merit and his pride to acknowledge.

W. Trampton is pleased to inform his friends and the public that his cozy little theatre is now open for the winter season. With the well-known quality of the company he has assembled, he hopes to receive a portion of the support that he will strive to deserve and take pride in acknowledging.

A peculiar advantage attending this Theatre will no doubt be justly appreciated by the public, namely that tickets of admission may be had for the separate branches of the entertainment, the price of which together with the hours of performance are specified in the following bill:—

A unique benefit of this Theatre will surely be appreciated by the public: tickets for individual parts of the show can be purchased separately, with prices and performance times detailed in the following bill:—

During the Week the following Entertainments will be presented.
A favourite Burletta in One Act, called
SOMETHING LIKE BREAKFAST.
The chief characters by the celebrated foreign performers,
Signiors Tea Coffee Sugar etc.
Price of admission 10d.  Hours from 8 to 10 A.M.
After which, a Bagatelle, or Interlude in One Act, called
IF YOU LIKE IT, LUNCH IT.

During the week, the following shows will be presented.
A popular short play in one act, titled
Kinda like breakfast.
The main characters played by the well-known foreign performers,
Signors Tea Coffee Sugar, etc.
Admission price is 10d. Hours from 8 to 10 A.M.
Following that, a short piece or interlude in one act, titled
IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT.

The characters by
Messrs Cheshire Gloucester Crust
Kidney Welsh rarebit etc.

And other well known Performers who will be found ever ready at
the call of the Public.

And other well-known performers who will always be ready at the public's call.

At the Hour of three P.M. a Grand Melodrama in two Acts called

At 3 PM, a Grand Melodrama in two Acts called

HOW SHALL I DINE?

What should I eat?

The chief Character on Monday by the celebrated old Roscius of the Epicurean Stage,

The main character on Monday by the famous old Roscius of the Epicurean Stage,

[541]Roast Beef.

Roast Beef

The other Characters by the celebrated Murphys etc., assisted by
the Little Pickles etc.

The other characters by the famous Murphys and others, supported by
the Little Pickles and more.

Guards, Messrs Cayenne etc. Scenery by Messrs Diaper and Assistants. Dresses by Mrs Cook.

Guards, Mr. Cayenne, and others. Scenery by Mr. Diaper and Team. Costumes by Mrs. Cook.

Music (a joint composition of Handel and Stick) by Messrs Knife and Fork.

Music (a joint composition of Handel and Stick) by Mr. Knife and Fork.

Price of Admission One Shilling.

Admission Price: One Shilling.

The principal Character in the above-mentioned Piece will be sustained by different Actors of celebrity during the week, viz.

The main character in the piece mentioned above will be played by various famous actors throughout the week, namely:

Tuesday Boiled Mutton, Wednesday Roast or Boiled Pork, Thursday Veal and Bacon, Friday Boiled Beef, Saturday Roast Mutton.

Tuesday Boiled Mutton, Wednesday Roast or Boiled Pork, Thursday Veal and Bacon, Friday Boiled Beef, Saturday Roast Mutton.

At Eight P.M. every evening the well known eccentric Pat Murphy (in company with his friend Pat Butter) will have the honour of making his appearance in his much admired hot-jacket of brown.

At 8 PM every evening, the famous eccentric Pat Murphy (along with his friend Pat Butter) will grace us with his presence in his much-loved brown hot jacket.

Theatre closed every Evening at half past Eleven.

The theater closed every night at 11:30 PM.

N.B. A stout and venerable white-headed Porter from the office of Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will attend the Theatre for the purpose of keeping good order during the performance.

N.B. A solid and respected old white-haired Porter from the office of Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will be at the Theatre to maintain good order during the performance.

The whole got up under the immediate care of
Stage Manager W. Trampton.

The whole production was managed by
Stage Manager W. Trampton.

Between forty and fifty years ago there was an amusing contest going on between two tradespeople in the City: both were hairdressers, and lived opposite each other. Seeing that the one throve by selling pomade made of bear’s grease, the other, knowing that it was just as good and more profitable to sell any other material in pots with “bear’s grease” on the label, started in opposition, using similar pots to those sold by his opponent, filled with an inexpensive unguent. The first dealer, who was known to keep bears in his cellar, and who had himself taken up once a week before the sitting alderman as a nuisance, by way of advertisement, killed a bear upon this, and hung him up whole in full sight in his shop. He also wrote in the window, “A fresh bear killed this day!” The other, who had but one bear in all the world, which he privately led out of his house after dark every night, and brought him back in the morning (to seem like a new supply going on), continued his sale, and announced in his window, “Our[542] fresh bear will be killed to-morrow.” The original vendor then, determined to cut off his rival’s last shift, kept his actual bears, defunct, with the skins only half off, like calves at a butcher’s, hanging up always at his door, proclaimed that “all bear’s grease sold in pots was a vile imposture,” and desired his customers to walk in “and see theirs with their own eyes, cut and weighed from the animal.” This seemed conclusive for two days; but on the third, the cunning opposition was again to the fore, with a placard “founded on the opinion of nine doctors of physic,” which stated that bear’s grease “obtained from the animal in a tamed or domesticated state, will not make anybody’s hair grow at all.” In consequence of which, he went on to say, “he has formed an establishment in Russia (where all the best bears come from), for catching them wild, cutting the fat off immediately, and potting it down for London consumption.” And the rogue actually ruined the business of his antagonist, without going to the expense of killing a single bear, by writing all over his house, “Licensed by the Imperial Government—Here, and at Archangel.”

About forty to fifty years ago, a funny competition took place between two hairdressers in the city who lived directly across from each other. One was thriving by selling pomade made from bear's grease, while the other realized he could sell a similar product in jars labeled "bear's grease," which was just as good and more profitable. He started his business in opposition, using jars similar to those of his rival, filled with a cheaper salve. The first hairdresser, known for keeping bears in his cellar, had even been brought before the local council once a week for being a nuisance as a part of his advertising. To up his game, he killed a bear and displayed it whole in his shop, putting up a sign that read, “A fresh bear killed today!” The other hairdresser, who owned only one bear which he secretly took out of his house every night and returned in the morning to create the illusion of a new stock, continued selling his product and advertised in his window, “Our fresh bear will be killed tomorrow.” In response, the original vendor decided to cut off his rival's last tactic by hanging his actual bears, with their skins only half off, outside like calves at a butcher's. He claimed that “all bear's grease sold in pots was a terrible deception,” inviting customers to come in “and see theirs cut and weighed from the animal.” This seemed to settle the matter for two days, but on the third, the clever competitor came back with a poster “based on the opinion of nine medical doctors,” stating that bear's grease “from a tamed or domesticated bear won’t help anyone's hair grow at all.” Consequently, he added that “he has established a facility in Russia (where the best bears come from) to catch them in the wild, immediately cut off the fat, and package it for London consumption.” Surprisingly, this trickster was able to destroy his competitor's business without having to kill a single bear, simply by plastering all over his shop, “Licensed by the Imperial Government—Here, and at Archangel.”

George Robins, the auctioneer, was a profound believer in the value of advertisements, and exercised all his ingenuity and ability, both of which were considerable, to devise fresh schemes for attracting public notice. His powers of producing a good bill were remarkable, as was also his facility of description. Robins’s style has been so often commented upon, and his work so often copied and burlesqued, that it is hardly worth while our touching upon either him or his bills. As, however, such a book as this would be hardly complete without a reference to the puffing genius of modern days, we select a portion—and only a portion, mind—of his description of the Colosseum in Regent’s Park, one of the greatest failures of speculative enthusiasts known, which, despite Robins and his panegyric, and despite the strenuous efforts which have been made to cultivate an unwilling populace into believing in it as a[543] place of amusement, is now being demolished to make way for a set of dwelling-houses planned upon the site on which was reared the building described by the poetically-fancied auctioneer as, among many other things, a

George Robins, the auctioneer, strongly believed in the power of advertisements and used all his creativity and skills—both of which were considerable—to come up with new ways to grab public attention. His talent for crafting an appealing advertisement was impressive, as was his knack for description. Robins’s style has been commented on so frequently, and his work has been imitated and parodied so much, that it hardly seems necessary to go into detail about him or his advertisements. However, since a book like this wouldn't be complete without mentioning the promotional genius of modern times, we’ve chosen a snippet—and only a snippet, mind you—from his description of the Colosseum in Regent’s Park, one of the biggest failures of speculative enthusiasts ever. Despite Robins and his praise, and the vigorous attempts made to persuade a reluctant public to see it as a[543] venue for entertainment, it is now being torn down to make way for a housing development planned for the site where the building was described by the poetically imaginative auctioneer as, among many other things, a

CYCLOPÆAN STRUCTURE,
WHERE DESCRIPTION FAILS TO PORTRAY

CYCLOPEAN STRUCTURE,
WHERE DESCRIPTION FAILS TO CAPTURE

"Its stylish proportions,
Its impressive graduations,”

WHICH, EVEN WHEN SEEN,

WHICH, EVEN WHEN WITNESSED,

"You don't see everything at once; you have to take it apart piece by piece,
"To divide thought from the greater whole."

THE EXQUISITE PROPORTIONS OF
THE CLASSIC PORTICO,
One of the finest specimens of
THE GREEK DORIC,
TOGETHER WITH

THE EXQUISITE PROPORTIONS OF
THE CLASSIC PORCH,
One of the best examples of __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__
THE GREEK DORIC STYLE,
TOGETHER WITH

"The Dome, the huge and amazing Dome,"

WHICH PROUDLY

WHICH IS PROUDLY

“————————————Vies
In the air with the main structures of the earth,

Win our admiration, while there is nothing of ancient or modern days that can compete with it either in

Win our admiration, even though there's nothing from ancient or modern times that can compare to it, either in

Classic Elegance, Grandeur of Effect, or Beauty of Proportion;
And it must remain to future ages a monument of the genius of the architect, as an

Timeless Elegance, Impactful Grandeur, or Beautiful Proportion;
And it will serve future generations as a testament to the architect's brilliance, as an __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

“Impressive and overwhelming building.”

The stupendous purpose for which the Colosseum was erected is too well known to need description.

The amazing reason the Colosseum was built is too well known to need explanation.

THOUSANDS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS
Having been attracted by
THE PICTURE OF LONDON,
Which covers the interior of the external wall,
THE MODERN BABYLON,

THOUSANDS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS
Attracted by
THE PICTURE OF LONDON,
That covers the inside of the outer wall,
THE MODERN BABYLON,

[544]

[544]

Which occupied the artist upwards of four years in delineating its endless details from the dome of St. Paul’s at the quiet hour of morning, when the buildings of this great metropolis were unobscured by smoke, and the early mists dispersed by the sun’s vicegerent power,—this picture now

Which kept the artist busy for over four years capturing its countless details from the dome of St. Paul’s in the calm morning hours, when the buildings of this vast city were clear of smoke, and the early fog was cleared away by the sun's shining power,—this picture now

“Stands within the Colosseum’s wall.”
THE BUILDING CONTAINS
A GRAND SALOON OF ART,
Surrounding the interior of the whole edifice,

“Inside the Colosseum’s walls.”
THE BUILDING HAS
A GRAND ART GALLERY,
Surrounding the interior of the entire building,

"All musical in its vastness,
Rich marbles—richer painting—”

Stored with productions of modern artists, models of ingenious machinery, and a variety of scientific experiments to attract the spectator, and is well calculated for any and every exhibition of an extensive nature.

Stored with works by contemporary artists, innovative machinery models, and a range of scientific experiments to draw in viewers, it is well-suited for any large-scale exhibition.

“Enter your mind,
Enriched by the brilliance of the location,
Has become massive!”

On the outside of the main building are magnificent Conservatories filled with every kind of exotic, and decorated with

On the outside of the main building are stunning conservatories filled with all kinds of exotic plants, and decorated with

FOUNTAINS AND JETS D’EAU,
Equalling in beauty the most celebrated
Fountains of Versailles & St. Eldefonso.
Two Thousand Eight Hundred Persons
HAVE PAID FOR ADMISSION DURING ONE DAY
To view this extraordinary and incomparable work of art.
THE COLOSSEUM’S GRANDEUR

Fountains and water features,
Matching the beauty of the most renowned
Fountains of Versailles & St. Eldefonso.
Two Thousand Eight Hundred Visitors
HAVE PURCHASED TICKETS IN ONE DAY
To appreciate this amazing and unparalleled piece of art.
THE COLOSSEUM’S GRANDEUR

ENCOMPASSED THEM WITH WONDER—A SUBLIME
CREATIVE SPIRIT IN THIS WORLD OF MIRACLES.

ENCOMPASSED THEM WITH WONDER—A SUBLIME
CREATIVE SPIRIT IN THIS WORLD OF MIRACLES.

It may be well to observe that continued success will be rendered certain by a change of scene, and the purchaser has only to call to his aid

It might be helpful to note that ongoing success will be guaranteed by a change of scenery, and the buyer just needs to ask for assistance.

THE MAGIC INFLUENCE OF STANFIELD’S PENCIL

THE MAGICAL POWER OF STANFIELD’S PENCIL

To create a new sensation, and enlist thousands to partake of the refreshing delight created by his versatile and unrivalled talent. Indeed, it will not be requisite to tax ingenuity very greatly to think of an[545] infinite variety of ways by which a large fortune may be made. It has for years past produced from

To create a new experience and get thousands to enjoy the refreshing joy brought by his diverse and unmatched talent. In fact, it won't take much creativity to come up with countless ways to make a lot of money. It has been producing for years from

Three to Five Thousand Pounds a Year,

Three to Five Thousand Pounds a Year,

And this without any artificial aid, or so much of industry and tact as
this wonderful building seems especially to have invited.

And this is done without any artificial help, or much effort and skill as
this amazing building seems to have particularly encouraged.

Robins’s eloquence very often led him to describe things as they were not, and now and again he had to recant and make amends. He is generally credited with having referred to a gallows which stood upon part of an estate, as a unique and elegant hanging wood, and thereby obtaining a considerably larger sum for the property than it was in any way worth. Among Robins’s many eccentricities this must not be reckoned, as the hanging-wood episode, though true in itself, belongs to an earlier time, the trick having been played during the last century. When a man gets credit for the possession of any peculiarity, every story that can be raked up of a suitable kind takes him for its originator or leading spirit, and innumerable tales were at one time current with regard to the great auctioneer, of which he was perfectly innocent. So it is in other things. What did Foote, Garrick, Sheridan, Hook, Sydney Smith, Hood, Barham, Rogers, Jerrold, and numerous other of our celebrated wits, know of a quarter the sayings and doings that have been ascribed to them? Little indeed, we fancy. But there are some things which Robins did say and do which have not been recorded. In answer to a lady who remarked to him that in his graphic descriptions he must have used up the entire dictionary, Robins said, “Madam, I’ll give five pounds to any charitable society you like to name if you can find me a word I have not used.” Mrs Macauley might have taken him at his word, and would doubtless have won the money, but the lady we speak of declined the contest. There is not much in this, except as showing to what an extent his powers of description led him. Having given one of his sayings, we will conclude with an item from his doings, a description of the villa and garden of W.[546] Harrison, Esq., Q.C. We trust we shall cause no one to be discontented with his or her present abode by giving this description—rather do we hope that one of the new race of picturesque reporters may be tempted by it to study under Robins, and thereby improve his condition:—

Robins was often so eloquent that he would describe things in ways that weren't accurate, and occasionally he had to take it back and make things right. He’s usually remembered for calling a gallows on part of an estate a unique and elegant hanging wood, which allowed him to get a much larger amount for the property than it was actually worth. This example, while true, doesn't really count among Robins’s many quirks since the hanging-wood incident happened in an earlier time, during the last century. When someone gains a reputation for having a particular trait, every story that fits is often attributed to them, and there were many tales circulating about the great auctioneer that he had nothing to do with. The same goes for others. What do Foote, Garrick, Sheridan, Hook, Sydney Smith, Hood, Barham, Rogers, Jerrold, and many other famous wits really know about the sayings and actions falsely attributed to them? Probably very little. However, there are some things Robins actually said and did that haven’t been documented. When a lady mentioned that he must have used up the entire dictionary with his vivid descriptions, Robins replied, “Madam, I’ll donate five pounds to any charity you choose if you can find a word I haven’t used.” Mrs. Macauley might have taken him up on that challenge and would likely have won the money, but the lady we mentioned declined to compete. There’s not much to this story, except it shows how much his descriptive skills stood out. Having shared one of his quotes, we’ll finish with an example of his actions, which is a description of the villa and garden of W. Harrison, Esq., Q.C. We hope our description won’t make anyone dissatisfied with their current home—instead, we hope it inspires one of the new generation of scenic reporters to study under Robins and thus improve their skills:—

In attempting an adequate representation of what has been aptly termed

In trying to properly show what has been appropriately called

A LITTLE HEAVEN UPON EARTH,

A LITTLE HEAVEN ON EARTH

Much of the difficulty Mr. Robins feared to encounter he is happily relieved from by the extraordinary renown which the late worthy possessor has imparted to this incomparable retreat.

Much of the trouble Mr. Robins was worried about facing is happily eased by the incredible reputation that the late esteemed owner has given to this unique getaway.

"Up to this point, we sail with the wind,"

Exclaims the individual who is flattered by having been selected for this interesting Sale, but fear and trembling now succeeds in encountering the Herculean task of pourtraying the countless beauties that are congregated

Exclaims the person who feels flattered to have been chosen for this exciting Sale, but now, fear and anxiety take over as they face the overwhelming challenge of showcasing the countless beauties gathered together.

Within the Grounds of this Elysium.

In this Paradise.

It would puzzle much higher talent than he can bring, adequately to describe this Landscape, but it must be attempted; and Mr. Robins prays that the reader will bear with him a little longer, under the assurance that condensity shall be his motto, at the same time avoiding that cloudy region entered by the witty Flaccus, who,

It would challenge even more skilled writers than he can muster to fully capture this landscape, but he must try; and Mr. Robins asks that the reader be patient a bit longer, assuring them that conciseness will be his guiding principle, while steering clear of the murky territory explored by the clever Flaccus, who,

"Brevity became unclear."

THE GROUNDS

The Grounds

Extend to near Five Acres, and the extraordinary tact that must have presided in arriving at this scene of perfection, must be viewed, it must be seen to feel and appreciate what seems to partake of Fairy Land. Mr. Loudon has indulged the public with Twenty-two Vignettes and Plans to hand down to posterity a faint idea of

Extend to nearly Five Acres, and the incredible skill that must have been involved in creating this perfect scene needs to be experienced; it must be seen to truly feel and appreciate what feels almost like a fairy tale. Mr. Loudon has treated the public to twenty-two vignettes and plans to give future generations a glimpse of

The Velvet Ornamental lawn,

The Velvet Ornamental Lawn,

On which is congregated the most rare and extensive assemblage of Plants and flowering Shrubs that is to be met with in England.

On which is gathered the most unique and extensive collection of plants and flowering shrubs found in England.

From all

From everyone

THE FLORICULTURAL EXHIBITIONS

Flower Shows

The treasures were quite sure to find a home at Cheshunt, indeed the[547] late Proprietor’s judgment in the Cultivation of Rare and Valuable Plants was quite unique, and his Gardener, Mr. Pratt, a prototype of his employer. It would fatigue the reader to give in detail the host of Rare Plants that adorn these Grounds, the value of which is past belief—more than a Thousand Pounds have been consumed alone in rare Exotics; the masses of Growing Plants, the French Garden, and all this (by the way) is relieved and varied by

The treasures were definitely going to find a home at Cheshunt. The late owner's expertise in cultivating rare and valuable plants was truly exceptional, and his gardener, Mr. Pratt, was a perfect example of his employer's passion. It would be exhausting to list all the rare plants that beautify these grounds, their worth is unbelievable—over a thousand pounds have been spent just on rare exotics. The extensive collection of plants, the French garden, and all of this (by the way) is complemented and diversified by

THE ORNAMENTAL WATERS AND ISLAND,

THE DECORATIVE WATERS AND ISLAND,

Varying and necessarily improving this beauteous scene. Perpetual breaks and peeps are contrived, by different views, to look on the Waters, in which Thousands of Gold and Silver Fish enjoy their “sportive gambols.” Correct judgment is made very manifest in the disposition of these Grounds, by avoiding the whole being seen, except by slow degrees. Then there are dispersedly dotted about throughout the Lawn—The Rustic Alcoves, the Chinese Temple, Grottos, and covered Seats, Orchidaceus and Fern Houses, and Aviary.

Varying and inevitably enhancing this beautiful scene. Continuous breaks and views have been created to gaze upon the waters, where thousands of gold and silver fish are having their playful swims. Good judgment is clearly shown in the layout of these grounds, ensuring that the entire area isn't visible at once, but revealed gradually. Scattered throughout the lawn are rustic alcoves, a Chinese temple, grottos, covered seating areas, orchid and fern houses, and an aviary.

A Mount is devoted to the Show of Aloes during the Summer, rendering the ensemble most captivating; a Hermit’s Cave, covered with Ivy; a Gravel Walk, belted by American Borders of Rare Plants; a beautiful Grotto, adorned by a fine piece of Statuary; a Rustic Summer House, fitted up in the Indian style; a smaller Grotto, fitted in Stone, of grotesque and rustic masonry; in fact, everything that sagacity or the human mind could well conceive, seems to have been achieved here, to render this spot

A mount is dedicated to the Aloe Show in the summer, making the ensemble truly enchanting; a Hermit’s Cave covered in ivy; a gravel path lined with American borders of rare plants; a beautiful grotto decorated with an exquisite statue; a rustic summer house designed in an Indian style; a smaller grotto made of stone with quirky and rustic masonry; in short, everything that wisdom or human creativity could imagine seems to have been accomplished here to make this place

A PERFECT PARADISE.

A DREAM PARADISE.

From the Terrace Walk that environs it, a perpetually interesting scene of the Lawn, in varied forms of beauty (the Church Steeple peeping out in the distance, to vary the scene) is disclosed, and is so ingeniously and cleverly managed that the deciduous Trees, during the Summer, afford constant protection from the heat of the sun, and during the Winter (being then naked) admit the genial warmth of the sun to keep dry the Gravel Walks.

From the Terrace Walk that surrounds it, there's a constantly fascinating view of the Lawn, showcasing various forms of beauty (with the Church Steeple popping up in the distance to change the scene). It's so skillfully designed that the leafy trees provide constant shade from the summer heat, and in the winter, when they're bare, they allow the warm sunlight to keep the Gravel Walks dry.

From the canny North Country we get two bills, the first of which is likely to shake the belief of those who imagine that swindlers and impostors have little chance in the border counties, where the babies are said to be born with their wisdom teeth ready cut, and to “know their way about” before they are out of leading-strings. J. A. was fully possessed of his share of artfulness, and though his name[548] has not come down to us, it being just the same in the bill as here printed, his initials were well known some years back, and his practice was very successful:—

From the clever North Country, we get two bills, the first of which is likely to shake the belief of those who think that swindlers and con artists don’t have much of a chance in the border counties, where babies are said to be born with their wisdom teeth already in and “know their way around” before they’re even out of diapers. J. A. definitely had his share of cunning, and even though his name[548] hasn’t been passed down to us, as it appears in the bill printed here, his initials were well known a few years ago, and his practice was very successful:—

THE WHOLE ART OF FORTUNE-TELLING,
BY J——n A——k, BARTON.

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO FORTUNE-TELLING,
BY J——n A—k, BARTON.


Deep in the bleak areas, lacking light,
Three Witches are meeting for a consultation tonight;
So, sacred Sisters, your hidden Mysteries reveal,
The leaders of the Witches and their great Powers are connected.

WHO begs most respectfully to acquaint his Friends that he has, for the Benefit of the Public, commenced the above Business; and, from the long Time he had studied under the different Masters of the Magical Mysteries in the present Age, also, in all the ancient and modern Books, in Astrology, Nicromancy, Divinations, and all the magical Charms, Spells, Rites, Enchantments, and hidden Mysteries in past and future Events, flatters himself that he has become Proficient in his Art.

WHO respectfully wants to inform his friends that he has started the above business for the benefit of the public. After spending a long time studying under various masters of magical mysteries in this era, as well as delving into all the ancient and modern books on astrology, necromancy, divination, and all magical charms, spells, rites, enchantments, and hidden mysteries related to past and future events, he believes he has become skilled in his art.

Hail, Medea, hail! If he still disregards the Spell,
By Fate, I’ll drive him to the Gates of Hell!
An Assyrian taught such powerful sorcery, Regarding a magic charm, the drugs he created.

J. A. can break any Charm caused by Enchantment; can also immediately name the Planet under which a Person is born; and will also inform any Person whether he or she will be married, and to whom; and can inform all married Men, to their Satisfaction, in all the secret Transactions which they may suppose to have taken place with their Wives; can also conjure back any stolen Goods, and bewitch any Person or Animal who has done any one an Injury, &c. &c.

J. A. can break any spell caused by enchantment; can also instantly identify the planet under which someone is born; and will inform anyone whether they will get married, and to whom; and can satisfy all married men about any secret dealings they think might have happened with their wives; can also retrieve any stolen goods, and put a curse on anyone or any animal that has harmed someone, etc. etc.

Hail, Hecate! and grant my rising spell
Even Appollonius's sorcery to excel: May my powerful magic rival even Circe's abilities,
Over the serious rituals—complete my mysteries.

J. A. also begs to add that he has not spared any Expence to make himself Master of all the magical Mysteries, and is confident of his own Abilities in being able to give every Satisfaction to those who may favour him with a Consultation will meet with due Attention, but their Letters must be post-paid, inclosing a Post-office Order for 5s. The Age of the Applicant must be stated. Persons attending will be charged 2s. only. J. A. is also a Dealer in Talismanick Charms, engraved with magical Characters, 10s. 6d. each.

J. A. also wants to mention that he has not held back any expenses to master all the magical mysteries, and he is confident in his ability to provide complete satisfaction to anyone who seeks his counsel; they will receive the proper attention. However, their letters must be sent with postage paid and include a postal order for 5s. The applicant's age must be included. Those attending in person will only be charged 2s. J. A. is also a seller of talismanic charms, engraved with magical symbols, priced at 10s. 6d. each.

[549]

[549]

A man who commences a sorcery business for the benefit of the public deserves to succeed, especially when he can break any charm caused by enchantment, conjure back stolen goods, and so play the avenger’s part as to bewitch any person or animal who has done any one an injury. It is a pity J. A. did not get some of his mysterious agents to put his lines a little in order. The other is a Tyneside advertisement, and shows also a partiality for verse—indeed consists of nothing else, if we except the name and address; but its theme is far more material than that of its companion. Unlike in the case of the publican of Wych Street, we will not assume that Mr Catcheside employed any one over the following effusion, of which he is welcome to all the credit:—

A man who starts a sorcery business to help the public deserves to succeed, especially if he can break any spells caused by enchantment, bring back stolen items, and act as an avenger by bewitching anyone or anything that has harmed someone. It’s a shame J. A. didn’t get some of his mysterious agents to tidy up his lines a bit. The other is an advertisement from Tyneside, which also has a preference for verse—actually, it's made up entirely of verse except for the name and address; however, its subject matter is much more practical than that of its counterpart. Unlike the publican of Wych Street, we won’t assume that Mr. Catcheside had anyone work on the following piece, for which he can take all the credit:—

JOHN CATCHESIDE,
GROCER & TEA-DEALER,
BIGG-MARKET,
NEWCASTLE.

JOHN CATCHESIDE,
GROCER & TEA MERCHANT,
BIGG-MARKET,
NEWCASTLE.


You gentlemen from both town and country, A store right next to Whitfield’s entrance, Is ready for your review,
By Mr. Catcheside's direction; Good ladies, I also seek your kindness,—
My efforts will be to make you happy.
Without the fairer sex being pleased,
The human mind is never at rest.
But ladies, please, and gentlemen,
Call me, and I'll do my best to please you if I can.
I have all kinds of teas you can think of—
My intention is to keep them well.
All from the India house direct,
Genuine you can expect; I sell at the lowest prices, And not as gentlemen allow farms; I’ve got sugars too, the same for sweetening,
As good as ever but were consumed; Loaves, well refined as you've ever seen,
Which boiling water will hardly thaw. I’ve Treacle, Juice, and Candy,
And Turkish coffee is as strong as brandy;
The best plantation too,
With Fry’s and White’s top Patent Cocoa,
And Churchman’s Patent Chocolate,—
Everything I sell is at a low price.
I’ve fine tobacco, patent shag,
Twist, Saffron Cut, and Common Rag;
And Snuff, whatever type you pick,
To refresh your mind and warm your nose; Zant Currants, commonly called Spice, Orange and lemon peels, and rice; I also sell Malaga raisins, With Bloom, and Sun, and Muscatell,
You can definitely use it to fill your wigs; Or here are French plums or Turkey figs;
Or prunes, if you think they're more suitable,
With Almonds, Jordan, Shell, and Bitter; Nutmeg, Cloves, Cinnamon, and Mace,
You're as good as you'll find anywhere; Season your syllabubs and custards; For beef, I have vinegar and mustard.
I’ll sell you all kinds of pepper too,
Mac and Vermicelli;[550] Anchovies, Cassia, and Cassia buds,
And many other types of products,
Prepared for puddings, pies, and sauces:—
Come, buy them cheap, you lovely ladies!
And if your birds open their mouths for seeds,
I have Canary, Hemp, and Rape; And you don't need to go any further. For Annis, Carraway, and Coriander; I'm never short on Ginger, too,
For whatever reason you need.
I have Sago and Capers, both, And renowned Barley for your soup!
Saltpeter, Bay, and Basket Salt,
To make your hams perfectly; With Picked Isinglass and Staple, To prepare your ale for serving:—
Then what more could a person want,
Than beef, broth, and ale in stock? But dinner's over; come, clear the table,
Here’s some soap for you to wash up while you still can;
But if you believe that's not enough,
Here’s Poland Starch and Powder Blue; And if you want some rougher washes,
I have good Pearl and Comby Ashes; If you prefer to wash at night,
I have candles that will provide you with light. To spin dry wool, you don't have to work hard,
I have plenty of Whale Oil and Florence Oil.
Set by your wheels, your tongs, and poker. And paint your corners with Yellow Ochre.
Set all your dye pots aside,
When supplied with fresh Indigo; Then paint above your door And fireplaces with black lead.
If you still lack materials,
I have Fuller’s Earth and Ivory Black,
Logwood, Copperas, and Whiting, Yeah, there are many more things that aren't worth writing about.
Once again, I ask for your support,
I'm all set and waiting for a visit;
Most due attendance will be provided
From seven in the morning until eight in the evening; Or later, if it seems convenient,
Yours sincerely,

JOHN CATCHESIDE.

JOHN CATCHESIDE.

Getting back to London, we come upon a bill of the kind now and then adopted with regard to posters, the idea in which is to convey a different notion at sight from that which is given by close inspection. In the following the plan has been carried out with great nicety, the author’s endeavour being to make the notice look like a Government proclamation, and as one of the best specimens of the kind we have ever seen it is presented to the reader:—

Getting back to London, we come across a type of bill sometimes used for posters, designed to give a different impression at first glance than it does upon closer examination. In the following, this concept has been executed with great precision, with the creator aiming to make the notice resemble a Government proclamation, and as one of the best examples of this kind we've ever seen, it is presented to the reader:—

V.coat of armsR.

V.coat of armsR.

PROCLAMATION!

Announcement!

Whereas,

While,

It being Our Royal Will and Pleasure that our well-beloved, trusty and loyal subject Harry Johnson, should for the Amusement of our well-beloved, trusty and loyal subjects of Hoxton and its Vicinity, give a grand entertainment on Ash Wednesday, the 9th of February, 1842, for the Benefit of Himself, when he trusts from the Talent he has selected on this occasion, and the well-known respectability and celebrity of all parties, he cannot fail of securing a Treat

It is Our Royal Will and Pleasure that our beloved, trusted, and loyal subject Harry Johnson should entertain our cherished, loyal subjects of Hoxton and the surrounding area with a grand event on Ash Wednesday, February 9th, 1842, for his own Advantage. He trusts that, based on the talent he has chosen for this occasion and the well-known respectability and fame of all involved, he will undoubtedly secure a Gift.

To The
British Public.

To The
British Public.

[551]

[551]

H. J. feels proud and happy to announce that many Professional Friends have, in the most handsome manner, proffered their valuable Services: they are enabled to do this with greater facility as no other Place of Amusement in London is open on that Evening. Their Names will transpire in future bills. Miss Phillips will on this night sing, in her usual sweet and inimitable style,

H. J. is proud and happy to announce that many Professional Friends have generously offered their valuable services. They can do this more easily since no other entertainment venue in London is open that evening. Their names will be announced in future promotions. Miss Phillips will sing that night in her usual sweet and unique style,

Wanted
A GOVERNESS

Wanted
A TUTOR

The Beneficiare will also sing,

The Beneficiare will also perform,

For the

For the

First time, the Young

First time, the Youth

Prince of Wales.

Prince of Wales.

A Gentleman has kindly consented on this occasion to sing an Entire New Comic Song, to be called “Comfort is all my View; or

A gentleman has graciously agreed to perform an entirely new comic song today, titled "Comfort is All My View; or"

SALARY

PAY

Is no object!!” Mr. H. Parker will also sing his much admired ballad of Had I

Is no object!!” Mr. H. Parker will also sing his highly praised ballad of Had I

£1,000 A-YEAR !!!

£1,000 a year!!!

A Lady will sing

A woman will sing

NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED.
All applications to be made (for Tickets) on or before
ASH WEDNESDAY, FEBRU. 9, 1842,
At the office
Royal Britannia Saloon, Hoxton Old Town.

NO FOLLOWERS PERMITTED.
All ticket applications must be submitted
ASH WEDNESDAY, FEB. 9, 1842,
At work
Royal Britannia Saloon, Hoxton Old Town.

The Ceremony of In-stall-ing to commence at Half Past Six o’clock Precisely.

The Ceremony of Installing will begin at 6:30 PM sharp.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!

The attention of readers will probably be attracted by the advertisement so elaborately concocted and carefully worked out. If its promoters received any extra support because of it, they certainly deserved what they got, as the plan is difficult to connect with any but large bills. The next item we have brings us to the year 1853, and is again from the county of Northumberland. It is far more pretentious than the composition of Mr John Catcheside, but by no means so successful. It is from the pen of a[552] general shopkeeper, who evidently considered he had done something when he had been through his proofs, seen this to press, and forwarded copies to unsuspecting, and, as it turned out, unsympathising, families about G——, a small place not very far from Newcastle:—

The readers will likely be drawn in by the advertisement that is so intricately designed and carefully crafted. If its creators gained any extra support because of it, they definitely earned what they received, as the plan is hard to associate with anything but large amounts of money. The next piece we have takes us to the year 1853, and comes once again from Northumberland. It’s much more ambitious than the work of Mr. John Catcheside, but not nearly as effective. It’s written by a[552] general shopkeeper, who clearly thought he accomplished something when he went through his proofs, sent it to print, and distributed copies to unsuspecting, and, as it turned out, unsupportive families around G——, a small town not too far from Newcastle:—

To the inhabitants of G—— and its neighbourhood.

To the people of G—— and the surrounding area.

The present age is teeming with advantages which no preceding era in the history of mankind has afforded to the human family. New schemes are projecting to enlighten and extend civilisation, Railways have been projected and carried out by an enterprising and spirited nation, while Science in its gigantic power (simple yet sublime) affords to the human mind so many facilities to explore its rich resources, the Seasons roll on in their usual course producing light and heat, the vivifying rays of the sun and the fructifying influences of nature producing food and happiness to the Sons of Toil, while to the people of G—— and its neighbourhood a rich and extensive variety of Fashionable Goods is to be found in my Warehouse, which have just been selected with the greatest care. The earliest visit is requested to convey to the mind an adequate idea of the great extent of his purchases, comprising, as it does, all that is elegant and useful, cheap and substantial to the light-hearted votaries of Matrimony, the Matrons of Reflection, the Man of Industry, and the Disconsolate Victims of Bereavement.

The current age is filled with opportunities that no previous time in history has offered to humanity. New initiatives are being developed to educate and expand civilization. Railways have been planned and built by a bold and dynamic nation, while Science, with its immense power (both simple and profound), provides the human mind with numerous ways to explore its abundant resources. The seasons continue to change as usual, bringing light and warmth, with the energizing rays of the sun and the nurturing influences of nature producing food and happiness for the hardworking individuals. For the people of G—— and its surrounding areas, a wide variety of fashionable goods is available in my warehouse, which have just been carefully selected. I invite you to visit soon to get a clear idea of the extensive range of items I’ve acquired, including everything that is stylish and practical, affordable and substantial, for the joyful ones in love, thoughtful matrons, hardworking individuals, and those grieving their losses.

This composition having been printed and distributed, the author waited impatiently for its powerful effect, and when to his great astonishment he discovered that it had produced none, he, with the irritability that nearly always accompanies neglected genius, resolved to get back and destroy every copy of his essay, and thereby deny to posterity what his own generation could not appreciate. Fortunately for ourselves, and for ages yet unborn, a copy was preserved, and printed in Notes and Queries.

This piece was printed and shared, and the author waited anxiously for its impact. When, to his surprise, he found that it had no effect at all, he, with the frustration that often comes with overlooked talent, decided to retrieve and destroy every copy of his essay, thus denying future generations what his own time could not appreciate. Luckily for us and for generations to come, a copy was preserved and published in Notes and Queries.

Most dwellers for any time in London remember Lord Chief Baron Nicholson and his Judge and Jury Society, which used to be held at the Coal Hole in the Strand. Virtuous readers may shudder at the mention of such a place; but time was when the deliberations and decisions of the jury, as well as the directions of the judge and the peculiarities of the witnesses, were productive of mirth[553] independent of double entendre among an audience composed of anything but roysterers and howling cads. In such halcyon days, when Nicholson was in the flesh, looking much more like a chief baron than nine-tenths of the possessors of the title ever did, the following handbill was printed:—

Most people who've spent time in London remember Lord Chief Baron Nicholson and his Judge and Jury Society, which used to take place at the Coal Hole in the Strand. Virtuous readers might cringe at the mention of such a venue, but there was a time when the jury's discussions and conclusions, along with the judge's instructions and the quirks of the witnesses, created laughter independent of double entendre among an audience made up of anything but rowdy partygoers and obnoxious rascals. In those carefree days, when Nicholson was alive and looked much more like a chief baron than most who held the title, the following handbill was printed:—

The Lord Chief Baron
NICHOLSON

The Chief Justice
NICHOLSON

Begs to inform his best friends, the Public, that he and the learned Gentlemen of the Judge and Jury Society, have left the Garrick’s Head in Bow Street, and now hold their Forensic Sittings at the celebrated Coal Hole Tavern, Fountain Court, Strand, every Evening.

Begs to inform his best friends, the Public, that he and the learned Gentlemen of the Judge and Jury Community, have left the Garrick’s Head in Bow Street, and now hold their Forensic Sittings at the famous Coal Hole Pub, Fountain Court, Strand, every evening.

A judge!—and in a Coal Hole as well!
Said rustic John, I can't believe you. That sounds too funny to be real,
Come on, Nicholson, don't deceive me.
I won't mislead you on the journey,
So meet me at the old Coal Hole, Blackstone and Coke burn in the fireplace,
And Law comes alive, my friend, to welcome you.

Do not forget to remember
THE COAL HOLE
in the Strand.

Don't forget to remember.
THE COAL HOLE
on the Strand.

Law was the proprietor of the establishment, and he “flared up” to some tune, so far as the production of suppers required flaring. And suppers were both numerous and excellent at the Coal Hole; the stewed or scalloped oyster, the devilled kidney, the broiled bone, and the modest “rabbit” receiving considerable attention during the progress of the mock trials. Subsequently the Coal Hole became a resort for journalists and actors, who used to be admitted to a snug old room behind the bar; but all that is changed now, an ambitious landlord having modernised the place and driven forth its old habitués. Not by violence or through incivility, but by means of plate-glass, electro tankards, and other goods, the unwonted and unwelcome aspect of which[554] has made wanderers of the old warm-hearted coterie. Why will people “restore” and improve the few comfortable old taverns still left about London, and drive honest folk from the snug and unpretending corners they have occupied for years? This same restoration is shortsighted and impolitic. The houses become nondescript; they are too modern, and perhaps too respectable, for the old customers, not glaring and gassy enough for the new; and so they stand, with just sufficient about them to remind us of the joys that are past, and not enough to tempt us to renew them in the future.

Law was the owner of the place, and he “flared up” in a way that suited the vibe, especially when it came to dinner service. The dinners at the Coal Hole were both plentiful and fantastic; dishes like stewed or scalloped oysters, deviled kidneys, broiled bones, and the unassuming “rabbit” got a lot of attention during the mock trials. Over time, the Coal Hole turned into a hangout for journalists and actors, who were allowed into a cozy little room behind the bar; but all that has changed now, as an ambitious landlord has modernized the venue and driven away its longtime regulars. Not through harshness or rudeness, but with plate glass, electronic beer mugs, and other items that feel out of place, which have turned the old, warm-hearted crowd into wanderers. Why do people insist on “restoring” and modernizing the few comfortable old pubs that are still around London, pushing out the honest folks from the cozy, humble spots they've claimed for years? This so-called restoration is short-sighted and foolish. The pubs become bland and generic; they’re too modern, and probably too respectable, for the old patrons, and not flashy or busy enough for the newcomers; so they remain, with just enough hints of past joys to remind us of what once was, and not enough to draw us back to recreate those moments.

Turning from taverns, coal-holey and otherwise, we have finally to notice that kind of advertising which is the result of an attempt to make profit out of others’ misfortunes. At the time, but a very few years back, of the Overend and Gurney failure, an enterprising linen-draper in the North-West district of London put forth the following handbill (p. 555), which was of large size, surrounded by a thick black mourning border, and which, in addition to being given away, was sent about by post. For reasons which are obvious, we have changed the names, and have no hesitation in giving an opinion that the proceeding was a very sharp bit of business, worthy of the hero of the wooden nutmegs.

Turning away from taverns, both shabby and otherwise, we need to acknowledge that type of advertising that tries to profit from other people's misfortunes. A few years ago, during the Overend and Gurney collapse, an enterprising linen shop owner in North-West London distributed the following handbill (p. 555), which was large and bordered in thick black mourning. It wasn't just handed out; it was also mailed out. For obvious reasons, we've changed the names, and we have no doubt in saying that this move was a clever bit of business, fitting for someone who deals in wooden nutmegs.

It was followed by a long list of the goods to be sold, with the market prices and those at which they were offered, the practice of making up two sets of figures on goods having been found very efficacious of late years. This brings us well up to the present time, and as that is quite capable of taking care of itself without any assistance from us, we will conclude, in the hope that, though we have perforce passed many interesting specimens by, our selection, considering the space at command, has not been in any way injudicious.

It was followed by a long list of items for sale, showing both market prices and the prices they were being offered at. This method of creating two sets of figures for goods has proven to be very effective in recent years. This brings us up to the present, and since that can manage itself without our help, we’ll wrap things up, hoping that although we've had to skip many interesting examples, our selection, given the space we have, has been reasonably smart.

[555]

[555]

The Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster.

The Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster.


LAMENTABLE CASE OF RUIN AND DEATH.

LAMENTABLE CASE OF RUIN AND DEATH.


THE “STANDARD” of the 29th ultimo, truly observes—

THE “STANDARD” of the 29th of last month accurately notes—

Difficult indeed would it be to exaggerate the extent of the mischief that was done by the fall of the great house which had for generations stood firm as a rock *  *  *  * nor would it be easy to adequately describe the woe and desolation, the loss and ruin, consequent upon the suspension and disastrous liquidation of the Company.

It would be hard to overstate the damage caused by the fall of the great house that had stood firmly for generations, nor would it be easy to fully capture the sorrow and devastation, the loss and ruin, that resulted from the shutdown and disastrous collapse of the Company.

A more distressing case than the one in question it is impossible to conceive.—It is briefly told.—An old-established Linen Draper of the City of London, (Mr. Job Huckaback), had invested the Savings of a life-time in the Overend Gurney Scheme. The result is known. Still his Business remained, and he might have struggled on, but further calls being imminent, his last hope was crushed, so, Bankrupt and broken-hearted, he died,—leaving a wife and five young children to the mercy of fate.—

A more distressing case than this one is hard to imagine. It's a short story. An established linen merchant in London, Mr. Job Huckaback, had invested his life savings in the Overend Gurney Scheme. We all know how that turned out. His business survived, and he could have kept going, but when more demands came in, his last glimmer of hope was shattered. Bankrupt and heartbroken, he died, leaving behind a wife and five young children to face whatever fate had in store for them.

The Trade Creditors have done what they can by waiving all claims upon the Estate, and have generously resolved that the Stock shall be sold for the benefit of the Widow and Children.

The Trade Creditors have done what they can by waiving all claims against the Estate and have generously decided that the Stock will be sold for the benefit of the Widow and Children.

THE STOCK, WHICH IS HIGHLY CHOICE AND
VALUABLE, HAS BEEN ENTRUSTED TO

THE STOCK, WHICH IS VERY SELECT AND
VALUABLE, HAS BEEN entrusted TO

MR. CHARLES MARTEL,

MR. CHARLES MARTEL,

With prompt Orders TO REALISE AT ONCE ON
ANY TERMS.

With immediate orders to finalize right away on
any terms.

The First Grand Sale of Selected Goods will be
held in the

The First Grand Sale of Selected Goods will be
held in the

Large Assembly Room of the —— Hotel, N.W.
( Ladies may avoid passing through the Hotel, by presenting enclosed Card to Messenger at Private Door.)
On Monday, 1st, Tuesday, 2nd, Wednesday, 3rd, and Thursday, 4th March,
From Ten a.m. till Dusk each Day, closing on Thursday, at 5 p.m., prompt, not a minute later.

Large Assembly Room of the —— Hotel, N.W.
( Women can skip going through the Hotel by showing the attached card to the Messenger at the Private Door.)
On Monday, March 1, Tuesday, March 2, Wednesday, March 3, and Thursday, March 4,
Every day from 10 a.m. until sunset, closing on Thursday at 5 p.m. sharp, not a minute later.


The Sale will be by Private Treaty, thus affording Ladies leisure to freely inspect. Although prices are quoted as a guide, no offer will be rejected, as Everything must be sold in the brief time specified.

The sale will be by private treaty, giving ladies the opportunity to inspect at their own pace. While prices are provided as a guideline, No offer will be refused since everything needs to be sold within the short time given..

Facsimile of handbill

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ of flyer


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[556]

CHAPTER 19.
U.S. and Colonial Ads.

In such a go-ahead nation as the United States, it is only natural that advertising should be a very important feature of its business arrangements; and in perusing most of the papers which have travelled across the Atlantic, we find that our cousins have what are called much broader notions concerning the duties of advertisements than we have. The word broader we use in its conventional sense, and without any wish to take responsibility upon ourselves; for the so-called broader view is, after all, only the view which will be found expressed in those of our pages which contain notices published a hundred years ago. So that perhaps, after all, the broader view is our modern view; for it is, or certainly should be, the improved view. In course of time the American press may adopt the plan now in use here so far as regards all the papers which we consider representative, that of having an outward and visible show of decency in the advertisement columns, no matter what darkness or danger lurks beneath. With very few exceptions, the papers which come from the United States—we refer not to the hole-and-corner but to the high-class, which are widely read and disseminated among family circles—contain advertisements which would be rejected by the gutter journals of this country. A hundred years ago, as we have said and instanced, our papers were not at all particular, so long as they could get advertisements, what they took; now a sense of what is right and proper compels[557] them to refuse many notices which would be highly paid for—would be paid any price for—and in time the American press will doubtless follow the self-abnegating example. The broadened view we think, therefore, is ours, yet our style is often referred to as narrow-minded. The narrow mind is that which sacrifices its honour and credit in its greed for immediate profit and hunger after the almighty dollar.

In a forward-thinking country like the United States, it’s only natural that advertising plays a major role in business. When we look through most papers from across the Atlantic, we see that our American counterparts have much more expansive ideas about the purpose of advertisements than we do. We use the term broader in its usual sense, without intending to take any blame; the so-called broader perspective is really just what we see represented in our own publications from a hundred years ago. So perhaps, in a way, the broader view is actually our modern view; it should be seen as the improved approach. Over time, the American press may adopt the method we're using here for all the papers we consider representative: presenting a visible facade of decency in their advertisement sections, regardless of any darkness or issues hidden underneath. With very few exceptions, the papers from the United States—we're not talking about the obscure ones, but rather the well-regarded ones that are widely read in family environments—feature ads that would be rejected by the tabloids in our country. A hundred years ago, as we've mentioned, our papers weren't fussy about what ads they accepted as long as they could get them; now, a sense of right and propriety drives them to turn away many ads that would fetch a high price—or even any price—and eventually, the American press will likely follow this self-disciplined example. We believe that the broader perspective is ours, yet our approach is often labeled as narrow-minded. The narrow mind is the one that sacrifices its integrity and reputation in its pursuit of quick profits and the relentless chase for money.

For many reasons there is a great difficulty in dealing with American advertisements. Sometimes they are too long for quotation, at other times they are too broad; and very often one is not quite sure whether or not it is a really bona fide advertisement he is reading, or only an expression of gratitude from an editor for the favours he has received or fondly anticipates. American editors have peculiar notions on the subject of advertisements and the duties of advertisers. In a New York journal which boldly announces itself as the American Gentleman’s Newspaper, there is, or used to be, an editorial notice which informs all whom it most concerns, that, so as to meet the requirements of the family circle, and so that the paper may be left upon every gentleman’s breakfast-table, the use of the name of the Deity is expressly forbidden in the advertising or other columns. We quote from memory, but if these are not the exact words, the line of argument—if argument such a non sequitur can be called—is identical with that used by Mr Wilkes, the proprietor and editor of this model and gentlemanly paper. It would be well, however, if the American lady’s newspaper erred in no greater particular than the American gentleman’s does. For the honour of America it is to be sincerely hoped that its ladies know nothing of the sheets which are flaunted here with the names of women as the editors, and which are said to be written especially for women. It is hard to believe that any sane creature, much more a woman, could write such festering scurrility, such fatuous blasphemy, and such shameless[558] indecency and advocacy of open adultery as appear in the columns of one at least of these women’s journals; but it is easy to imagine that a few besotted females, suffering from erotic and other dementia, should exhibit themselves to the scornful gaze of the virtuous or the only moderately vicious for the purpose of obtaining notoriety—far easier than to believe that the women of America are the readers of and subscribers to these papers and their opinions. We are quite sure that no woman worthy of the name would look a second time at the organ of Victoria C. Woodhull and Tennie C. Claflin—quite as sure as that the two persons we have named are, with their followers, quite unfit to be regarded as women. We have referred to this paper and its “editors” because it and they represent a class of journals and journalists which are, unfortunately for Americans, too apt to be taken as standard representatives of the type, and from no desire to accord them the spurious celebrity they so anxiously covet.

For many reasons, dealing with American advertisements can be quite challenging. Sometimes they're too long to quote, other times they're overly broad; and often, it's hard to tell if what you're reading is a genuine bona fide advertisement or just an expression of thanks from an editor for past favors or future hopes. American editors have unique views on advertisements and the responsibilities of advertisers. In a New York publication that boldly calls itself the American Gentleman’s Newspaper, there is—or at least there used to be—an editorial note that tells readers that, to meet the needs of family audiences and to ensure the paper can be left on every gentleman’s breakfast table, the name of Deity is strictly prohibited in the advertising or other sections. We’re quoting from memory, but if these aren't the exact words, the reasoning—if such a non sequitur can be termed that—aligns with what Mr. Wilkes, the publisher and editor of this model gentlemanly paper, would contend. It would be nice if the American women’s newspaper committed no worse offenses than the American gentleman’s does. For the sake of America’s reputation, we genuinely hope its women are unaware of the publications that flaunt women as editors and claim to be written specifically for women. It's hard to believe that any sane person, let alone a woman, could produce such vile trash, such ridiculous blasphemy, and such gross indecency and support for open adultery as found in the columns of at least one of these women's magazines. However, it’s easy to imagine a few misguided women consumed by erotic and other delusions putting themselves on display to the scornful eyes of the virtuous or even moderately wicked for the sake of gaining attention—far easier than to accept that American women are the ones reading and subscribing to these publications. We’re quite certain that no woman of worth would glance twice at the publication of Victoria C. Woodhull and Tennie C. Claflin—just as certain as that the two individuals we've mentioned are unfit to be called women alongside their followers. We’ve referenced this publication and its “editors” because they represent a class of journals and journalists that, unfortunately for Americans, are often seen as typical representatives of the type, and we do so without any desire to grant them the false fame they so desperately seek.

Still, without wishing to impute anything like iniquity to American newspapers generally, it must be admitted that the vast majority of them have rather lax notions of propriety, and their motto being “Get money,” they are apt to ignore the existence of ill in any advertisement, provided the presenter of it has his “pile” ready, and will “come down handsome.” This is evident throughout the whole of the transatlantic news world; and though there are, we feel bound and are glad to admit, very honourable exceptions, they are but the exceptions which prove the rule. As the editors and proprietors generally accuse each other, they cannot feel annoyed if we, standing afar off, make our notes according to what they give us. If they prefer to feel angry, however, we shall not stand in their way; but doubtless the majority are too intent on getting money to care much for what is said about them. Indeed there are many who exult in the notion of making capital by all kinds of advertisements, from the puff preliminary to the nauseating[559] display of vile quackery or undisguised immorality, and vary this with agreeable little interludes in the way of black-mail. In several American newspapers open and undisguised announcements have been published that their columns are to be bought, and that for a price they will advocate any cause or take any side of a disputed question.

Still, without meaning to suggest that American newspapers as a whole are unethical, it's clear that most of them have pretty loose standards for what’s considered proper. With their motto being “Make money,” they're likely to overlook any issues with an advertisement as long as the person promoting it has the cash in hand and is willing to pay well. This is evident across the entire landscape of news in the U.S.; and while we’re happy to acknowledge that there are some very honorable exceptions, they’re just the rare cases that confirm the general trend. Since editors and owners typically blame each other, they shouldn't be upset if we, observing from a distance, take notes based on what they present. If they choose to be angry about it, that’s their choice, but most are probably too focused on making money to care much about what people think of them. In fact, many take pride in profiting from all sorts of advertisements, from the flashy promotions to the gross display of scams or outright immorality, mixing it up with some easy little schemes for extortion. In several American newspapers, there have been open and straightforward advertisements stating that their columns can be bought, and for a fee, they will support any cause or take any side in a controversial issue.

But throughout all this there is a great spice of humour, and in the general run of American advertisements it is much to be feared, and only natural to assume, that a stricter code of morality would result in a vast increase of dulness, the general concomitant of prim respectability. Yet it is possible to be wise as well as witty, and even now a good percentage of American advertisers prove this. From these we shall endeavour to select our stock, and so give all the humour without intruding the unpleasantness, except where it is absolutely necessary for the purpose of giving a fair idea of the American system. A good instance of ingenuity is that of the grocer in Pennsylvania, who on the fence of a graveyard inscribed in large white letters, “Use Jones’s bottled ale if you would keep out of here.” Grave subjects are often chosen as opportunities for advertising, one thing frequently offered being “Port wine as pure as the tears which fall upon a sister’s grave.” A firm engaged in the “statuary line” state that “those who buy tombstones of us look with pride and satisfaction upon the graves of their friends;” and from a large upholstery establishment the following emanates:—

But throughout all this, there’s a lot of humor, and in general American advertisements, it’s quite concerning—and only natural to think—that a stricter moral code would lead to a huge increase in dullness, which usually comes with being overly respectable. Yet it’s possible to be clever as well as funny, and even today, a good number of American advertisers demonstrate this. From these, we will try to choose our examples, allowing all the humor without bringing in the unpleasantness, except when it’s absolutely necessary to give a fair idea of the American system. A great example of creativity is from a grocer in Pennsylvania, who wrote in big white letters on a graveyard fence, “Use Jones’s bottled ale if you want to stay out of here.” Serious topics are often used as chances for advertising, with one thing frequently offered being “Port wine as pure as the tears that fall on a sister’s grave.” A company involved in the “tombstone business” claims that “those who buy tombstones from us look with pride and satisfaction at the graves of their friends;” and from a large upholstery company, the following radiates:—

Their living room furniture is elegant,
Their bedroom furniture is luxurious,
Their mattresses are plush,
Their coffins are cozy.

There is, after all, not much opportunity for the display of novelty in advertisements nowadays; but a merchant in Newark, New York State, succeeded very well by leaving his column entirely blank with the exception of this note, in very small type, at the bottom: “This space was sold to[560] A. E. Brennan and Co., but as their business is sufficiently brisk already they decline to use it.” This anecdote in its progress has been related of most large houses in or about New York and Boston, but Brennan was the man who gave rise to it. Quite as business-like, and rather more cynical, was the Ohio tradesman who, in large print, gave the following forth: “Ministers of the Gospel supplied with goods at cost, if they agree to mention the fact to their congregations.” And though the next is a purely private communication, the author of it was evidently a born advertiser: “If the party who took a fancy to my overcoat was influenced by the inclemency of the weather, all right; but if by commercial considerations, I am ready to negotiate for its return.” In an advertisement headed “Full-dress funeral,” which appears in a Philadelphia paper, is the intimation that “all the gentlemen friends of the late Mr Smith desirous of participating in the funeral will appear in full-dress suit and white gloves at Happy Hall, at nine o’clock a.m. on Friday morning, Jan. 29, and proceed from thence in a body to the house of the deceased.” This peculiarity of a.m. in the morning reminds us of the announcement on a bridge at Denver, Colorado, which states that “no vehicle drawn by more than one animal is allowed to cross this bridge in opposite directions at the same time;” though our intention, while touching on funerals, was to give the subjoined letter from an enterprising undertaker in Illinois to a sick man: “Dear sir, having positive proof that you are rapidly approaching Death’s gate, I have, therefore, thought it not imprudent to call your attention to the inclosed advertisement of my abundant stock of ready-made coffins, and desire to make the suggestion that you signify to your friends a wish for the purchase of your burial outfit at my establishment.” And thereon followed an elaborate list of the essentials to a first-class funeral, the reader having nothing to do but to supply the corpse. Apropos of supply, the[561] following from a Chicago confectioner’s notice is worthy of remark: “Families supplied by the quart or gallon.” This ostensibly refers to olives, but to us it seems very suggestive of olive branches. Occasionally, in running through the papers, one is surprised at the appetite of a lady who wants “to take a gentleman for breakfast and tea;” at the single-mindedness of a boarding-house keeper who advertises that “single gentlemen are furnished with pleasant rooms, also one or two gentlemen with wives;” or the boldness of a merchant who, in a free country, openly gives notice that there is “wanted—a woman to sell on commission.”

There isn’t much room for creativity in ads these days; however, a merchant in Newark, New York, did quite well by leaving his column completely blank except for a small note at the bottom that said, “This space was sold to[560] A. E. Brennan and Co., but since their business is already doing well, they chose not to use it.” This story has been told about many big companies in or around New York and Boston, but Brennan was the one who started it. Equally business-minded, but a bit more cynical, was an Ohio shopkeeper who boldly stated, “Ministers of the Gospel can get goods at cost, as long as they agree to mention it to their congregations.” While this next one is a personal note, the writer definitely had an advertising flair: “If the person who liked my overcoat was influenced by the bad weather, that’s fine; but if it was for commercial reasons, I’m open to negotiating its return.” In an ad titled “Full-dress funeral,” which appeared in a Philadelphia newspaper, it stated that “all male friends of the late Mr. Smith who wish to attend the funeral should wear a formal suit and white gloves at Happy Hall at 9 a.m. on Friday, Jan. 29, and then go together to the deceased's home.” The mention of a.m. in the morning reminds us of a sign on a bridge in Denver, Colorado, which says, “no vehicle pulled by more than one animal is allowed to cross this bridge in opposite directions at the same time;” although our intention, while discussing funerals, was to share this letter from an enterprising undertaker in Illinois to a sick man: “Dear sir, knowing you’re quickly approaching Death’s door, I thought it would be wise to draw your attention to the enclosed ad for my wide selection of ready-made coffins and suggest that you let your friends know you’d like to purchase your burial outfit from my shop.” After that, a detailed list of premium funeral necessities followed, leaving the reader to only provide the body. Speaking of supply, the[561] following from a Chicago confectioner’s ad is noteworthy: “Families supplied by the quart or gallon.” This seemingly refers to olives, but it seems quite suggestive of olive branches to us. Sometimes, while browsing through the papers, one might be surprised by a lady advertising “to take a gentleman for breakfast and tea;” the straightforwardness of a boarding house owner who writes that “single gentlemen are provided with nice rooms, as well as one or two gentlemen with wives;” or the audacity of a merchant who, in a free country, openly states that there is “wanted—a woman to sell on commission.”

We have already referred to the “editorials” which have a more or less remote connection with advertisements, and now select two examples with which to illustrate our meaning. They are of very opposite characters, and will serve to give both extremes, between which all sorts of puffs may find classification. The first is very common. Says the editor of a Yankee paper:—

We have already mentioned the “editorials” that have a somewhat distant connection to ads, and now we’ll choose two examples to illustrate our point. They are quite different from each other and will help show the range of promotional content that exists. The first one is very typical. The editor of a Yankee paper says:—

A correspondent wants to know what kind of a broom the young lady in the novel used when she swept back the ringlets from her classic brow. We don’t know, and shouldn’t answer if we did. We only undertake to answer queries of a practical and useful character. If our correspondent, who we presume is a gentleman, had asked who was the best and most popular hatter in the city, we would have promptly and unhesitatingly answered, James H. Chard of Broadwalk.

A reader wants to know what kind of broom the young woman in the novel used when she swept her ringlets back from her classic forehead. We don’t know, and we shouldn’t respond even if we did. We only aim to answer questions that are practical and useful. If our reader, who we assume is a gentleman, had asked who the best and most popular hat maker in the city is, we would have promptly and confidently said, James H. Chard of Broadwalk.

This tradesman had evidently supplied, or promised to supply, a new covering for the editorial head, with perhaps a little light refreshment as well. The other specimen is far more deliberate, and at the same time more respectable. It is from a Buffalo paper of half-a-dozen years back, and is not at all unlike the very earliest advertisement recommendations of our own country:—

This tradesman had clearly provided, or promised to provide, a new cover for the editorial head, possibly with some light refreshments as well. The other example is much more intentional and, at the same time, more respectable. It’s from a Buffalo paper from about six years ago and is quite similar to the very first advertisement recommendations from our own country:—

We are assured that the firm of Eastman & Kendall, 65, Hanover Street, Boston, Mass., advertised in our columns, is trustworthy and[562] reliable. For 10 cents they send a patent pen fountain and a check describing an article to be sold for $1. Their club system of selling goods is becoming quite popular, particularly with the ladies. It is worthy of a trial.

We can confidently say that the company Eastman & Kendall, located at 65 Hanover Street, Boston, Mass., which we feature in our ads, is dependable and trustworthy. For just 10 cents, they will send a patent fountain pen along with a check that details an item to be sold for $1. Their club system for selling products is gaining popularity, especially among women. It’s definitely worth trying out.

Two specimens of editorial personal advertisements will doubtless suffice. One was published by an Illinois journalist on assuming the duties of chief of the staff, and it gives a very good idea of the plan upon which he intended to “run” his paper. It says:—

Two examples of editorial personal ads will definitely be enough. One was published by a journalist from Illinois when he took on the role of chief of staff, and it provides a clear idea of the approach he planned to take in running his paper. It says:—

Sensational, distressing details of revolting murders and shocking suicides respectfully solicited. Bible class presentations and ministerial donation parties will be “done” with promptness and despatch. Keno banks and their operations made a speciality. Accurate reports of Sunday School anniversaries guaranteed. The local editor will cheerfully walk 17 miles after Sunday school to see and report a prize fight. Funerals and all other melancholy occasions written up in a manner to challenge admiration. Horse races reported in the highest style of the reportorial art. Domestic broils and conjugal felicities sought for with untiring avidity. Police court proceedings and sermons reported in a manner well calculated to astonish the prisoner, magistrate, and preacher.

Sensational and disturbing details about shocking murders and upsetting suicides are welcome. Bible class presentations and ministerial donation events will be handled promptly and efficiently. Keno operations are a specialty. Accurate reports on Sunday School anniversaries are guaranteed. The local editor will happily walk 17 miles after Sunday school to cover and report on a prize fight. Funerals and other sad events will be covered in a way that draws admiration. Horse races will be reported with the utmost skill. Domestic disputes and marital happiness will be sought after with relentless enthusiasm. Police court proceedings and sermons will be reported in a way that’s sure to surprise the prisoner, magistrate, and preacher.

The other is the opposite of the foregoing, and was penned under very different circumstances. It is from a Keithsburg journal, and first saw the light under the head reserved for notices of deaths:—

The other is the opposite of the one before, and was written in very different circumstances. It's from a Keithsburg journal and was first published under the section reserved for notices of deaths:—

About two and a-half years ago we took possession of this paper. It was then in the very act of pegging out, having neither friends, money, nor credit. We tried to breathe into it the breath of life; we put into it all our own money and everybody else’s we could get hold of; but it was no go; either the people of Keithsburg don’t appreciate our efforts, or we don’t know how to run a paper. We went into the business with confidence, determined to run it or burst. We have busted. During our connection with the Observer we have made some friends and numerous enemies. The former will have our gratitude while life lasts. The latter are affectionately requested to go to the deuce.

About two and a half years ago, we took over this paper. At that time, it was in the process of folding, lacking friends, money, and credit. We tried to breathe new life into it; we invested all our own money and collected whatever we could from others, but it didn't work out. Either the people of Keithsburg don't value our efforts, or we just don't know how to run a paper. We began this venture with confidence, ready to make it succeed or fail trying. Unfortunately, we've failed. During our time with the Observer, we made some friends and a lot of enemies. To our friends, we will always be thankful, but to our enemies, we kindly ask you to go to hell.

Occasionally these advertising notices take a widely different form, and refer to the benefits which are to be[563] found from a use of the columns in which they appear. Take the following as an instance of the kind of work we mean:—

Occasionally, these ads take a very different form and highlight the benefits of using the columns where they appear. Take the following as an example of the type of work we mean:—

The New York Daily News has the largest circulation of any daily paper published in the United States, and, with the exception of one in England and one in France, the largest in the world. We will contract for advertisements in the News upon the following terms: Three (3) cents per line for every (10) ten thousand of our circulation. Every bill when presented to be accompanied with the sworn affidavit of the pressman who prints the paper, the clerk who delivers the paper, and the cashier who receives the money. No paper to be counted as circulation except those that are actually sold and paid for. Believing this to be the most fair and equitable plan ever offered to advertisers, we make the proposition.

NY Daily News has the highest circulation of any daily newspaper in the United States and, with the exception of one in England and one in France, the highest circulation in the world. We will accept advertisements in the News under the following terms: Three (3) cents per line for every (10) ten thousand of our circulation. Every invoice must be accompanied by a sworn affidavit from the pressman who prints the paper, the clerk who delivers the paper, and the cashier who receives the payment. No paper will be counted as circulation unless it is actually sold and paid for. We believe this is the fairest and most equitable plan ever offered to advertisers, and we present this proposal.

This is a fair and equitable idea which none but the proprietors of rival journals could object to. And that rivals do have their say about each other’s advertisements, the following article, which is called “Ensnaring the Simple,” and which at one stroke deals two blows—one in the journalistic and the other in the electioneering interest—will show. It is from a New York daily, and runs thus: “The Sunday Mercury is published by Cauldwell & Whitney, Editors and Proprietors. Its senior editor is William Cauldwell, late Senator from the IXth District, comprising Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties, and now the Democratic candidate for re-election. From yesterday’s issue of that Sunday Mercury, we copy the following advertisements, omitting only the addresses of the respective advertisers:—

This is a fair and reasonable idea that only the owners of competing journals could object to. And since rivals definitely comment on each other’s ads, the following article, titled “Ensnaring the Simple,” demonstrates this by delivering two critiques—one in journalism and another in electioneering. It’s from a New York daily and goes like this: “The Sunday Mercury is published by Cauldwell & Whitney, Editors and Owners. Its senior editor is William Cauldwell, former Senator from the IXth District, which includes Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties, and now the Democratic candidate for re-election. From yesterday’s issue of that Sunday Mercury, we’ll share the following ads, leaving out only the addresses of the respective advertisers:

TWO YOUNG MEN, residents of New-York, of some means, are desirous of forming the acquaintance of two ladies between the ages of sixteen and twenty-two, with a view to sociability and quiet enjoyment. To those that are worthy, pecuniary assistance will be willingly rendered, if necessary. Those employed in some light occupation preferred. Address, appointing interview, —— and ——, Mercury office.

TWO YOUNG MEN, living in New York and having some resources, are looking to meet two ladies aged sixteen to twenty-two for socializing and fun. Financial support will happily be provided to those in need, if required. Preference is given to those with light jobs. Please contact, to schedule an interview, —— and ——, Mercury office.


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[564]

A GENTLEMAN, aged twenty-five, would be pleased to form the acquaintance of a young lady, or widow, under twenty-five years of age. Must be educated, and of good reputation. One engaged during the day preferred. A desirable party will meet with a permanent friend. Disreputable parties need not answer this. Address in confidence for ten days, —— ——, Mercury office.

A MAN, twenty-five years old, would like to meet a young woman or a widow under twenty-five. Should be educated and have a good reputation. Someone who is available during the day is preferred. A suitable candidate will find a lasting friend. Unsuitable individuals need not respond. Please address inquiries confidentially within ten days to —— ——, Mercury office.


A GENTLEMAN of means, alone in this city, desires the acquaintance of a respectable, genteel young lady of refinement, who is, like himself, friendless and alone; the most honorable secrecy observed. Address, with full particulars, ——, Mercury office, 128 Fulton-st., New-York.

A SIR with resources, alone in this city, wants to meet a respectable, sophisticated young woman of good upbringing, who, like him, is also friendless and alone; complete discretion guaranteed. Please send details to ——, Mercury office, 128 Fulton St., New York.


A FRENCH GENTLEMAN, newly arrived in this country and lonely, wishes to form the acquaintance of a lady who could prove as true a friend to him as he would be to her. Address, in confidence, as discretion will be absolute, ——, Mercury office.

A FRENCH GENTLEMAN, fresh to this country and feeling lonely, wants to meet a lady who could be as genuine a friend to him as he would be to her. Please reach out in confidence, as your privacy will be completely respected, ——, Mercury office.


A YOUNG GENTLEMAN would like to make the acquaintance of an affectionate and sociable young lady who would appreciate a true friend; one residing in Brooklyn preferred. Address ——, box 3, 761 New-York P.O.

A YOUNG MAN is looking to meet a caring and friendly young woman who values genuine friendship; someone living in Brooklyn is preferable. Please send a message to ——, box 3, 761 New-York P.O.


A GENTLEMAN OF MEANS wishes to make the acquaintance of a young lady of sixteen to eighteen years (blonde preferred); one who would appreciate a companion and friend may find one by addressing ——, Mercury office.

A Wealthy gentleman wants to meet a young woman between the ages of sixteen and eighteen (preferably blonde); someone who would value a companion and friend can reach out to ——, Mercury office.


A YOUNG WIDOW would like to make the acquaintance of an elderly gentleman of means, who would be willing to assist her, in return for true friendship. No triflers need answer. Address ——, Station E.

A YOUNG WIDOWER is looking to meet an older, wealthy gentleman who is willing to help her in exchange for genuine friendship. No time wasters, please. Please respond to ——, Station E.


A GENTLEMAN, thirty years of age, with some leisure time at his disposal, would like the acquaintance of a handsome young lady, resident of Brooklyn. Address, stating age and other particulars, ——, Mercury office.

A GENTLEMAN, thirty years old, with some free time on his hands, is interested in meeting a beautiful young lady who lives in Brooklyn. Please send your response, including your age and other details, to ——, Mercury office.


A KIND, ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, a stranger, wishes to enjoy the society of an agreeable young lady. Address ——, Mercury office.

A Kind, elderly man, a stranger, wants to spend time with a nice young lady. Contact ——, Mercury office.


[565]

[565]

A GENTLEMAN of position desires the society of a young lady or widow. Would afford moderate pecuniary aid to a respectable and deserving person. Address, with particulars, appointing interview, ----, Mercury office.

A GENTLEMAN with status seeks the company of a young woman or widow. Will provide reasonable financial support to a respectable and deserving individual. Please respond with details to arrange a meeting, ----, Mercury office.


A STRANGER in New-York desires a few lady correspondents whom he can call upon, and who would be pleased to accompany him to theatres, &c. Address ——, New-York University.

A UNKNOWN PERSON in New York is looking for a few female pen pals who he can meet up with and who would enjoy joining him for theater outings, etc. Please respond to ——, New York University.


A YOUNG MAN of refined taste would like to meet with a good-looking lady (not above twenty) who is engaged during the day. Address, appointing interview, ——, No. 4, Mercury office.

A GUY with good taste is looking to meet an attractive lady (no older than twenty) who is free during the day. Please reach out to set up a meeting at ——, No. 4, Mercury office.


A LADY would like to meet with a gentleman who would thoroughly appreciate her exclusive society. For particulars, address ——, Box 2, No. 688 Broadway.

A WOMAN would like to connect with a man who would truly value her unique company. For more details, contact ——, Box 2, No. 688 Broadway.

“These are but fair specimens of columns of such advertisements which have for years appeared in the successive issues of The Mercury. The publishers put over them the head ‘Matrimonial,’ but the advertisers do not countenance that fraud. They use The Mercury and pay for it as though it were a house of infamous resort; and, if there be any moral difference between permitting this use and keeping a house of ill-fame, we cannot see it. We do not doubt that at least One Thousand foolish girls have been ruined through the instrumentality of these shameful advertisements. Must not that be a monstrous dispensation of justice which, while Rosenzweig is (most righteously) sent to State Prison, should send Cauldwell to the Senate? What do you think of it? Electors of Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties! read the above advertisements carefully, and say whether you can aid the election of Cauldwell to the Senate without sharing his guilt? Do not pretend ignorance of his iniquities: for above is the evidence which no man can gainsay. There are more such in this week’s issue, as there have been in every issue of that sheet for[566] years. Fathers, brothers, pure men of every degree! read those infamous advertisements carefully, and then judge if you can vote to send their publisher to the Senate!” This is all very well, and extremely virtuous, but in the high-class daily journal from which it is taken there are plenty of advertisements of a character anything but beyond reproach. We are far from wishing to uphold the character of the Mercury, which is no more and no less than a Pandarus among papers, but the axiom, “Physician, heal thyself,” will apply to the champion of outraged innocence just quoted.

“These are just a few examples of columns featuring such ads that have appeared for years in the successive issues of The Mercury. The publishers label them ‘Matrimonial,’ but the advertisers do not support that deception. They use The Mercury and pay for it as if it were a notorious brothel; and if there is any moral difference between allowing this use and operating a house of ill repute, we can't see it. We have no doubt that at least one thousand naive girls have been harmed through these disgraceful ads. Isn’t it a terrible injustice that while Rosenzweig is (rightfully) sent to State Prison, Cauldwell is headed to the Senate? What are your thoughts on this? Voters of Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties! Read the ads above carefully and consider whether you can support Cauldwell's Senate run without sharing in his guilt. Don’t feign ignorance of his wrongs; the evidence above is undeniable. There are more like these in this week’s issue, just as there have been in every issue of that publication for[566] years. Fathers, brothers, decent men of all kinds! Read those disgraceful ads closely, and then decide if you can vote to send their publisher to the Senate!” This all sounds good and incredibly virtuous, but in the high-class daily newspaper from which it’s taken, there are plenty of ads that are hardly above reproach. We don’t intend to defend the character of The Mercury, which is nothing more or less than a Pandarus among newspapers, but the saying, “Physician, heal thyself,” certainly applies to the champion of outraged innocence that was just quoted.

An astonishingly elaborate way of bringing the “puff pars” of enterprising and liberal tradesmen under immediate notice is shown in a weekly, possessed of considerable notoriety, that is published in California. This paper, the San Francisco Newsletter, has several times with pleasing candour informed the world that its opinions and advocacy are within easy purchase. Which means that those who do not think its friendship worth buying had better beware of its animosity. For those who doubt this we reproduce the following, which was probably placed on the front page of the Newsletter because the directors of the company referred to refused to patronise that organ of publicity, and which has now been running for some time:—

An incredibly detailed way of making the ads of enterprising and open-minded business owners immediately noticeable is seen in a weekly publication known for its notoriety, which is produced in California. This paper, the San Francisco Newsletter, has several times openly stated that its opinions and support are easily available for purchase. This implies that those who believe its friendship isn't worth the cost should be cautious of its dislike. For those who are skeptical, we are reprinting the following, which was likely featured on the front page of the Newsletter because the company's directors refused to support that outlet of publicity, and it has been running for some time:—

A PERMANENT PARAGRAPHIC ADVERTISEMENT.

A permanent graphic ad.

[RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO THE SPRING VALLEY WATER WORKS.]

[RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO THE SPRING VALLEY WATER WORKS.]

A miner’s inch of water is about twenty thousand gallons. The usual price for an inch of water in the mines is ten cents. The Spring Valley Company sells water in large quantities at seventy-five cents per thousand gallons, or at fifteen dollars seventy-five cents per inch—which is one hundred and fifty-seven times the price which miners pay. Furnished in small quantities to housekeepers, the Company charges from thirty to fifty dollars an inch—five hundred times the miners’ rates. Ignotus.

A miner’s inch of water is around twenty thousand gallons. The typical price for an inch of water in the mines is ten cents. The Spring Valley Company sells water in bulk for seventy-five cents per thousand gallons, or fifteen dollars and seventy-five cents per inch—which is one hundred fifty-seven times what miners pay. When supplied in smaller amounts to homeowners, the Company charges between thirty to fifty dollars an inch—five hundred times the miners’ rates. Ignotus.

[567]

[567]

The Newsletter was originally known in England as the vehicle of a vein of humour peculiar even in America, and mainly dependent upon a contempt for all religious formalities and observances, an affectation of atheism, and an evident desire to render all those things ridiculous that believers hold most sacred. Through all this ran a vein of ability which even those who objected most to the degradation of it were bound to admit, and the smart utterances of the chief writer on the staff were not only quoted widely throughout America, but now and again found supporters among advanced journalists in England. How different now is the Newsletter! Its flippancy is as rampant as ever, but its attempts to make fun out of the doctrines of faith in general and Christianity in particular are of the dreariest, while in place of the cleverness which once made its columns readable there is a scurrility worthy of the typical Stabber or Rowdy Journal. And the more its ability becomes deteriorated, the more do its abuse, its blasphemy, and its blackmailing qualities exhibit themselves. It is evident that the old leader has departed, and left in his place one whose servile imitation must have been his best credential for the office of successor.[47] But it was in reference to the Newsletter’s advertisements that we commenced; though they are in truth so mixed up with its other matter that the distinction is subtle indeed. The construction of the paper is unique. Each page is complete in itself, and in the “backs” and “gutters”—the inside margins, in fact—there are numerous advertisements. The chief peculiarity, however, of the paper is that of spreading its puffs and notices about among the ordinary matter. The following extract will give some idea of the prevailing plan:—

The Newsletter was originally known in England as a platform for a type of humor that was quite unique, even in America. It mainly relied on a disdain for all religious rituals and practices, an affectation of atheism, and a clear desire to mock things that believers hold dear. Despite this, there was an underlying talent that even those who criticized its degradation had to acknowledge, and the sharp remarks from the main writer on the team were not only widely quoted across America but also occasionally gained supporters among progressive journalists in England. How different the Newsletter is now! Its sarcasm is as widespread as ever, but its efforts to ridicule faith in general, and Christianity specifically, have become dull and dreary. Where there was once cleverness that made its columns engaging, now there's a harshness reminiscent of the typical Stabber or Rowdy Journal. As its quality has deteriorated, its abuse, blasphemy, and unethical tactics have become more apparent. It's clear that the original leader has gone, leaving behind a successor whose mimicry must be their only qualification for the role of successor.[47] But we started talking about the Newsletter’s advertisements; they are so intertwined with the rest of the content that the distinction is very subtle. The layout of the paper is unique. Each page stands on its own, and in the “backs” and “gutters”—the inside margins—there are many advertisements. The primary feature of the paper, however, is the way it mixes promotional content with regular articles. The following excerpt will illustrate the general plan:—

[568]

[568]

"Tell me, oh, you ancient warrior,
How come you look so strong? I fully know, for eighty years "You’ve been wandering around—am I mistaken?"
"I have lived for eighty years, sir,
Drinking only Cutter’s best.
If you want to live as long, sir,
"Consider investing."

Shortening a Telegram.—A gentleman took the following telegram to a telegraph office:—“Mrs Brown, Liverpool street.—I announce with grief the death of uncle James. Come quickly to read will. I believe we are his heirs.—John Black.” The clerk, having counted the words, said, “There are two words too many, sir.” “All right, cut out ‘with grief,’” was the reply.

Shortening a Telegram.—A man brought the following telegram to a telegraph office:—“Mrs. Brown, Liverpool Street.—I announce the death of Uncle James. Come quickly to read the will. I believe we are his heirs.—John Black.” The clerk, after counting the words, said, “There are two words too many, sir.” “Okay, remove ‘with grief,’” was the response.


Earlier this afternoon I strayed,
Around four o'clock,
To check if I would find in the town A top-notch carpet store.
I walked around for a long time,
Until a friend told me Where was the only place in town—
The Plum & Bell store.

As an early morning train stopped at the station, an old gentleman with a cheerful countenance stepped out on the platform, and inhaling the fresh air enthusiastically exclaimed, “Isn’t this invigorating?” “No, sir, it’s Auchterarder,” replied the conscientious porter. The cheerful old gentleman went back to his seat in the carriage.

As an early morning train pulled into the station, a cheerful old man stepped out onto the platform, and, breathing in the fresh air, he exclaimed, “Isn’t this refreshing?” “No, sir, it’s Auchterarder,” replied the diligent porter. The upbeat old man went back to his seat in the carriage.


All that my longing spirit experienced in its youth
She has envisioned excellence; The same ideal figure, completely honest,
Similar in gentleness and purity:
By Bradley & Rulofson made divine. Oh, how I love to worship at her shrine!

The Man Who Struck Him.—“Show me the man who struck O’Docherty,” shouted a pugnacious little Irishman at an election; “show me the man who struck O’Docherty, and I’ll—” “I am the man who struck O’Docherty,” said a big, brawny fellow, stepping to the front; “and what have you to say about it?” “Och, sure,” answered the small one, suddenly collapsing, “and didn’t you do it well!”

The Man Who Struck Him.—“Show me the guy who hit O’Docherty,” yelled a feisty little Irishman at an election; “show me the guy who hit O’Docherty, and I’ll—” “I’m the guy who hit O’Docherty,” said a big, muscular guy, stepping forward; “and what do you have to say about it?” “Oh, well,” replied the smaller one, suddenly deflating, “didn’t you do it well!”


We can't stop your footsteps, Time.
Your flight cannot be restrained by any hand. Save Him, whose foot is on the sea,
Whose voice is in the wind?
But we can turn a cloudy day As bright as sunlight,
And chase the worries away With sips of Gerke Wine.

[569]

[569]


Mr. John Owens, who lately died at Jackson, aged 114, was in some respects a remarkable man. He blushingly admitted that he had used whisky since he was ten years old, and had chewed tobacco and smoked, more or less, for one hundred and three years, but he never claimed that he had seen Washington.

Mr. John Owens, who recently passed away in Jackson at the age of 114, was a remarkable man in some ways. He shyly admitted that he had been drinking whisky since he was ten years old and had been chewing tobacco and smoking, on and off, for one hundred and three years, but he never claimed to have met Washington.


Wherever Minerva, the Goddess of Wisdom, presides, or Pomona, or Ceres require book work to be done, there will be found the school and office furniture made by Gilbert & Moore. It is universally acknowledged to be the best that is made in this or any other State. If once used, no other desks, stools, forms, garden seats, etc., will ever meet with any favour. Their patent school desk, with seat attached, is the most perfect thing we ever saw, and is as strong as it is neat.

Wherever Minerva, the Goddess of Wisdom, is present, along with Pomona or Ceres who need some work done, you will find the school and office furniture made by Gilbert & Moore. It's widely recognized as the best made in this state or anywhere else. Once you try it, no other desks, stools, benches, garden seats, etc., will ever compare. Their patented school desk with an attached seat is the best we've ever seen, and it’s as sturdy as it is stylish.


A Yankee editor has just had his family reinforced, whereupon he indulges in the following poetic outburst:—

A Yankee editor has just added to his family, and in response, he expresses the following poetic outburst:—

"Ring out, wild bells—and tame ones as well—
Ring out the lover's moon! Ring out the small slips and socks,
Get ready with the bib and spoon!
Ring out the Muse, ring in the caregiver—
Ring in the milk and water!
Forget about paper, pens, and ink—
"My daughter, oh my daughter!"

The philosopher’s stone has not yet been discovered, but modern science has found out a means by which the energy of youth can be imparted to those who have long passed the meridian of life. Such a boon to mankind is the Elixir Damiana, that the well known Doctor Jose Juniga, from whose prescription it is made, has earned a name not soon to be forgotten. The Elixir can be procured at Chas. Langley’s, the agent, and at all drug stores.

The philosopher’s stone hasn't been found yet, but modern science has discovered a way to transfer the energy of youth to those who are well past the peak of their lives. This incredible gift to humanity is the Elixir Damiana, created from the prescription of the renowned Doctor Jose Juniga, whose name will be remembered for a long time. You can get the Elixir at Chas. Langley’s, the agent, and at any drug store.


Edmund Munger, speaking of the time when he was a boy, says it was the custom of school children as you passed a school-house, to make a bow; but in these later days, as you pass a school-house, you must keep your eye peeled, or you will get a snowball or a brickbat at the side of your head.

Edmund Munger, reminiscing about his childhood, mentions that it was a tradition for school kids to bow when passing by a schoolhouse; however, nowadays, if you walk by a schoolhouse, you better watch out, or you might get hit in the head with a snowball or a brick.


Help me sing, you Nine Muses,
In praise of that house on Pine,
Which is named Saddle Rock,
All praise and speak of the best lineage. In the town, there are oysters; Both raw and carefully cooked.

[570]

[570]

Mr. Redpath applied to Mr. Warner, author of “My Summer in a Garden,” to enter the lecturing field. The genial author replied that there was less prospect now than ever of his consenting to do so. “It seems to me,” he wrote, “that the older I grow, the wiser I grow.”

Mr. Redpath reached out to Mr. Warner, the author of “My Summer in a Garden,” about starting a career in lecturing. The friendly author responded that there was less chance now than ever that he would agree to it. “It seems to me,” he wrote, “that the older I get, the wiser I become.”


The Six-Mile House, on the San Bruno Road, is the favourite calling place on the road. No one ever thinks of passing without stopping to have a word with Harry Blanken.

The Six-Mile House, on San Bruno Road, is the favorite stopping point along the route. No one ever thinks of passing by without taking a moment to chat with Harry Blanken.


Twenty-eight different kinds of “bitters” sold in Rhode Island for “strictly medicinal use” are undergoing analysis by the State Chemist from an excise point of view.

Twenty-eight different types of “bitters” sold in Rhode Island for “strictly medicinal use” are being analyzed by the State Chemist from a tax perspective.

This is the best part of the paper at the present time, and the best part of this—that is, the most original—is formed by the advertisements. There must now and again be a great run upon that edition of “Joe Miller” the proprietor keeps in his room, when the “exchanges” refuse to give out new or second-hand humorous paragraphs. We will conclude this section of our cousins’ peculiarities with the following, picked out from a Boston sheet, where it was nestled close by the biggest of the advertisements:—

This is the best part of the paper right now, and the most original part—by far—is the advertisements. There must be times when there’s a huge demand for that edition of “Joe Miller” that the owner keeps in his room, especially when the “exchanges” won’t provide new or second-hand funny paragraphs. We'll wrap up this section on our cousins’ quirks with the following, which we found in a Boston newspaper, where it was sitting right next to the biggest of the ads:—

Keep on Advertising.

Keep Advertising.

Don’t fear to have a small advertisement by the side of a larger competing one. The big one can’t eat it up.

Don’t be afraid to have a small ad next to a larger competing one. The big one can’t overshadow it.

Which, freely translated, means, “Keep on advertising, and don’t be afraid. We’ll take you, big or little, so long as you have the money, and of course we’re quite disinterested.”

Which, freely translated, means, “Keep advertising, and don’t worry. We’ll accept you, whether you’re big or small, as long as you have the money, and of course we’re totally unbiased.”

In the year 1795, an English paper, speaking of the transatlantic journalism of the time, says: “As one proof of the commerce and trade of America, there are four daily papers printed in the city of New York; and it is not uncommon to enumerate 350 advertisements in a single paper. The price of an advertisement is from 1s. to 1s. 6d., and a paper sells for one penny. But what injures the beauty and authenticity of their papers is the want of a little red mark at one corner of the sheet; a blessing that has been[571] withheld from them since the imprudent declaration of independence.” The last remark is evidently satirical. It was sixty years after this that we got rid of our glorious red mark. But we have an advertisement of some years before the declaration of independence, which is subjoined:—

In 1795, an English newspaper commented on the transatlantic journalism of the time: "As evidence of America's commerce and trade, there are four daily newspapers published in New York City; it's not unusual to see 350 ads in a single paper. The cost of an ad ranges from 1 shilling to 1 shilling and 6 pence, and a paper is sold for one penny. However, what detracts from the beauty and authenticity of their papers is the absence of a little red mark in one corner of the sheet; a privilege that has been[571] denied to them since the reckless declaration of independence.” This last comment is clearly meant to be sarcastic. It took us sixty years after that to eliminate our cherished red mark. However, we do have an advertisement from a few years prior to the declaration of independence, which is attached:—

Bush Creek, Frederick’s County, Maryland, Oct. 11, 1771.

Bush Creek, Frederick County, Maryland, Oct. 11, 1771.

RUN away from the subscriber, a Servant Maid named Sarah Wilson, but has changed her name to Lady Susanna Carolina Matilda, which made the public believe that she was her Majesty’s Sister; she has a blemish in her right Eye, black rolled Hair, stoops in her shoulders, makes a common practice of writing and marking her cloaths with a Crown and a B. Whoever secures the said Servant Woman, or takes her home, shall receive five Pistoles, besides all cost and charges. William Devall.

RUN away from the subscriber, a maid named Sarah Wilson, who has changed her name to Lady Susanna Carolina Matilda, leading the public to believe that she is Her Majesty’s sister; she has a mark in her right eye, black curly hair, slouches in her shoulders, and often writes and marks her clothes with a crown and a B. Whoever finds the said maid or brings her back will receive five pistoles, plus all costs and expenses. William Devall.

I entitle Michael Dalton to search the city of Philadelphia and from thence to Charles-Town, for the said Woman. W. D.

I give Michael Dalton permission to search the city of Philadelphia and from there to Charleston, for the mentioned woman. W. D.

Sarah Wilson, who was quite an extraordinary adventuress, had been lady’s-maid to the Hon. Miss Vernon, sister to Lady Grosvenor, and whilst in her service found means to obtain admittance into the royal apartments, where she broke open a cabinet and robbed it of some jewellery of value. For this she was apprehended, tried, and sentenced to death, but through the interposition of her former mistress was reprieved, and transported to Maryland, where on her arrival she was exposed for sale, and purchased by the Mr Devall above named. She soon, however, managed to make her escape into Virginia, travelled through that colony, and through North into South Carolina. When at a proper distance from Mr Devall, she assumed the title of Princess Susanna Carolina Matilda, and passed herself off as a sister to the Queen. She was dressed in a manner likely to favour the deception, and as she had with her part of the stolen jewels, and a miniature portrait of the Queen, which by some means she had managed to conceal before her trial and during her subsequent journey, she succeeded in deceiving many of the planters. Thus she travelled from one gentleman’s house to another, affecting the manners of royalty,[572] and admitting many of the gentry to the honour of kissing her royal hand. To some she promised governments, to others regiments, with promotions of all kinds in the Army, Navy, and Treasury. In short, she acted her part so plausibly that very few suspected her of being a deceiver. During the period of her imposture she levied heavy contributions upon some people of the highest rank in the southern colonies. At length the above advertisement appeared in the papers, and Mr Michael Dalton made his appearance in Charlestown, raising a loud hue and cry. Seeing that the game was up, her Serene Highness disappeared, and for a short time baffled the exertions of the police; but in the end she was captured and suffered condign punishment.

Sarah Wilson, who was quite the extraordinary adventurer, had been a lady's maid to the Honorable Miss Vernon, sister of Lady Grosvenor. While in her service, she managed to gain access to the royal apartments, where she broke open a cabinet and stole some valuable jewelry. For this, she was caught, tried, and sentenced to death. However, her former mistress intervened, and she was spared and sent to Maryland. Upon her arrival, she was put up for sale and bought by Mr. Devall. Soon, though, she escaped to Virginia, traveled through that colony, and then north into South Carolina. Once far enough from Mr. Devall, she took on the name Princess Susanna Carolina Matilda, claiming to be the sister of the Queen. She dressed in a way that would support her deception, and since she had part of the stolen jewelry and a miniature portrait of the Queen, which she had managed to hide before her trial and during her journey, she fooled many of the planters. She moved from one gentleman's house to another, putting on royal behavior and allowing many gentry to kiss her royal hand. To some, she promised them government roles, and to others, regiments, with promotions of all sorts in the Army, Navy, and Treasury. In short, she played her part so convincingly that very few suspected her of being a fraud. During her time of impersonation, she extracted heavy contributions from some high-ranking people in the southern colonies. Eventually, the advertisement about her appeared in the papers, and Mr. Michael Dalton showed up in Charlestown, raising a loud alarm. Realizing her scheme was over, her Serene Highness vanished, managing to evade the police for a while, but she was eventually captured and faced her punishment.

While on the subject of runaway slaves we will skip a few years, and so give a companion to this Cleopatra in the person of one Anthony, certainly a congenial spirit. The following is from a Raleigh paper of February 1815, in which it is preceded by the figure of a runaway negro. Anthony is evidently a paragon possessed of all a paragon’s failings, and Caleb Quotem, so renowned in farce, scarcely equalled the subject of this advertisement in the variety and whimsical nature of his accomplishments:—

While we’re on the topic of runaway slaves, let’s fast forward a few years and introduce a companion to this Cleopatra in the form of one Anthony, who is certainly a kindred spirit. The following comes from a Raleigh newspaper from February 1815, and is accompanied by a depiction of a runaway Black man. Anthony clearly embodies the ideal, complete with all the flaws that come with it, and Caleb Quotem, famous in comedy, barely matched the subject of this ad in terms of the variety and quirky nature of his accomplishments:—

TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS REWARD.

$25 REWARD.

running man

RAN away from Raleigh, a month or two ago, a mulatto man, named Anthony, well known in Raleigh, and many parts of the State, as having been, for several years, the body servant of General Jones, and mine lately as a pressman and news-carrier in the Star office. Anthony is about twenty-five or twenty-six years of age, five feet eight or ten inches high, is a mongrel white, has a tolerably large aquiline nose, bushy hair, a scar on one of his cheeks; when in good humour has a pleasing countenance.

RAN away from Raleigh a month or two ago, a mixed-race man named Anthony, well-known in Raleigh and many parts of the state. He had been, for several years, the personal servant of General Jones and more recently worked as a pressman and news carrier in the Star office. Anthony is about twenty-five or twenty-six years old, stands five feet eight or ten inches tall, has a mix of white heritage, a fairly large hooked nose, bushy hair, and a scar on one of his cheeks; when he’s in a good mood, he has an attractive face.

He works and walks fast, is lively and talkative, full of anecdote, which he tells in character with much humour; is an excellent pressman, indifferent at distributing types, a tolerable carpenter and joiner, a plain painter, an excellent manager of horses, drives well and rides elegantly, having been accustomed to race riding; is fond of cock-fighting (and of man-fighting when drunk), and is said to heel and pit[573] with skill; he can bleed and pull teeth, knows something of medicines, is a rough barber, a bad but conceited cook, a good sawyer, can lay bricks, has worked in the corn fields, and can scratch a little on the fiddle.

He works and walks quickly, is energetic and chatty, full of stories that he shares with a lot of humor; he’s an excellent pressman, careless when it comes to distributing types, a decent carpenter and joiner, a basic painter, and a great horse manager. He drives well and rides elegantly, having experience with race riding; he enjoys cockfighting (and fighting when drunk) and is said to be skilled at both heel and pit.[573] He can bleed and extract teeth, knows a bit about medicine, is a rough barber, a bad but arrogant cook, a good sawyer, can lay bricks, has worked in the corn fields, and can play a little on the fiddle.

He can do many other things; and what he cannot do, he pretends to have a knowledge of. His trades and qualities are thus detailed, because his vanity will undoubtedly lead to a display of them. His master-vice, or rather, the parent of all his vices, is a fondness for strong drink, though sometimes he will abstain for months. His clothes cannot be described, but he carried away few or none, and ’tis expected will appear shabbily. He is an artful fellow, and if taken up will tell a most plausible story, and possibly show a forged pass.

He can do a lot of other things, and what he can’t do, he acts like he knows. His skills and traits are laid out because his vanity will definitely make him show them off. His main flaw, or really the root of all his flaws, is a love for strong drink, although he can sometimes go without it for months. His clothes are hard to describe, but he took very few, if any, and it’s expected that he will look shabby. He’s a clever guy, and if he gets caught, he’ll tell a really convincing story and might even show a fake pass.

In 1806 the Connecticut Courant contained the following, which gives an unpleasant idea of what many wives might say in reply to the warning advertisements of desperate husbands if they only thought it worth while, or rather if they thought of it at all:—

In 1806, the Connecticut Courant published the following, which gives a bleak idea of what many wives might say in response to the desperate warnings from their husbands if they considered it worthwhile, or rather if they thought about it at all:—

East Windsor, U.S.

East Windsor, USA

THOMAS Hutchins has advertised, that I have absented myself from his bed and board, and forbid all persons trusting me on his account, and cautioned all persons against making me any payment on his account. I now advertise the public, that the same Thomas Hutchins came as a fortune-teller into this town about a year ago, with a recommendation, which, with some artful falsehoods, induced me to marry him. Of the four wives he had before me, the last he quarrelled away; how the other three came by their deaths, he can best inform the public: but I caution all widows or maidens against marrying him, be their desire for matrimony ever so strong. Should he make his advances under a feigned name, they may look out for a little, strutting, talkative, feeble, meagre, hatchet-faced fellow, with spindle shanks, and a little warped in the back. Thankful Hutchins.

THOMAS Hutchins has announced that I have left his home, and he has warned everyone not to trust me on his behalf, and advised against making any payments to me for him. I want to inform the public that the same Thomas Hutchins came to this town about a year ago as a fortune-teller, with a recommendation that, along with some clever lies, convinced me to marry him. Of the four wives he had before me, he ended his last marriage in a fight; as for how the other three died, he can explain that best: but I warn all widows or single women not to marry him, no matter how strong their desire for marriage might be. If he approaches them under a fake name, they should watch out for a short, talkative, weak, skinny guy with a long face and a bit of a hunch. Thankful Hutchins.

There are a good many more notices in the American papers which show that conjugal infelicity is no great rarity over there. The following exquisite effusion appeared in the Port Gibson Correspondent in November 1825:—

There are quite a few more notices in American newspapers that indicate marital problems are not uncommon over there. The following delightful article was published in the Port Gibson Correspondent in November 1825:—

Oh marriage! you are like
To Jeremiah’s figs— The good are really good indeed,
Too sour for pigs!

[574]

[574]

WHEREAS, thank God! my wife Rachel has left my bed and board for the hereafter mentioned provocation: this is to give notice that I will pay no debts of her contracting after this date.—We were married young; the match was not of our own choosing, but a made-up one between our parents. “My dear,” says her mother, with a nose like a gourdhandle, to her best beloved, “now if we can get our neighbour Charles to consent to a marriage between our Rachel and his son, we shall have no more care upon our hands, and live the rest of our days in undisturbed repose.” Here my beloved began to whimper; the truth is, she loved tenderly, loved another—and they knew it; he had no property, however, and that was their only idea of happiness: but she could not conceive how they could feast in joy upon her misery. “Hold your tongue,” says her surly father, “don’t you think your parents know better how to direct your attachments than you do yourself?” “Yes, my dear,” says the mother, “you should always be governed by your parents—they are old and experienced and you are too young to think for yourself.” The old dad and mam forgot that they were a runaway love match at the age of nineteen. But poor Rachel said not a word for she was afraid of her daddy’s cowhide, that he had used sixteen years on nobody’s back but his daughter’s. She seemed reckless of her fate, was almost stupid, and did not know that she could alter it for the worse. My father, by persuasion and argument, dazzled my fancy with the eight negroes that would be her portion, “which,” said he, “put upon the quarter section which I shall give you, will render you independent, and you are a fool if you do not live happily with such an angel.”—“Angel!” said I, but I said no more, for my dad (in peace rest his ashes!) would have flown into a passion with the rapidity that powder catches fire; and its ebullition, like the blaze, would scorch me, I well knew.—We were married. I thought, as her father had ruled her with so tough a whip, I could do it with a hickory switch, and for my leniency gain her everlasting gratitude. We have now lived together six years, and have had no offspring except a hearty quarrel every little while. In truth I found her more spirited than I imagined; she was always ready to tally word for word, and blow for blow; but I never used a switch till the other day, always taking my open hand. The other day, coming home from work, very much fatigued and hungry, I found my wife in rather an unusual fit of passion, scolding some pigs that had overset the buttermilk. “Rachel,” says I, “make me some coffee.”—“Go to ——!” says she. I could not stand this; I had never heard her swear before. “I will chastise you for that,” says I. “Villain,” said she, “I’m determined to bear no more of your ill usage. Instead of using the mild and conciliating language which a husband ought to use, you always endeavour to beat me into measures—touch me with that whip,[575] I will leave your house, and take my niggers with me too, so I will.” She had said such things so often that I did not regard her, and belaboured her handsomely. The next morning after I had gone out to work, away she bundles sure enough, and when I came home at noon, I found the house emptied of bag and baggage, and all the negroes taken but the three that were at work with me. I have lived happily since, however; and she may keep all she took, if she will stay at her crooked-nose mammy’s and never trouble my house again.

WHEREAS, thank God! my wife Rachel has left me for the reasons mentioned above: this is to announce that I will pay no debts she incurs after this date.—We got married young; the union wasn’t our choice, but rather a decision made by our parents. “My dear,” her mother, who had a nose like a gourd handle, said to her favorite child, “if we can get our neighbor Charles to agree to a marriage between our Rachel and his son, we’ll have no more worries and can live out our days in peace.” At this, my beloved started to cry; the truth is, she was in love with someone else—and they both knew it; the guy didn’t have any money, though, and that was their only idea of happiness: but she couldn’t understand how they could enjoy her misery. “Be quiet,” her grumpy father said, “don’t you think your parents know better what’s good for you than you do?” “Yes, my dear,” the mother replied, “you should always listen to your parents—they’re older and wiser, and you’re too young to think for yourself.” The old folks forgot they had eloped at nineteen themselves. But poor Rachel didn’t say a word because she was afraid of her dad’s whip, which he had used for sixteen years only on her back. She seemed indifferent to her fate, almost numb, and didn’t realize she could make it worse. My dad, through persuasion and argument, dazzled me with the eight slaves that would be part of her dowry, saying, “which,” said he, “added to the quarter section I will give you, will make you independent, and you’d be a fool not to live happily with such an angel.”—“Angel!” I thought, but I kept quiet, knowing my dad (may he rest in peace!) would fly into a rage quicker than gunpowder ignites; and I knew that the explosion would burn me. —We got married. I figured that since her father had been so strict with her, I could manage her with a lighter hand and earn her everlasting gratitude. We’ve been together for six years now, and haven’t had any children except for a good fight once in a while. Honestly, I found her more feisty than I expected; she was always ready to argue word for word, and blow for blow; but I never used a switch until recently, always opting for my open hand. One day, coming home from work, tired and hungry, I found my wife in a rather unusual fit of anger, yelling at some pigs that had knocked over the buttermilk. “Rachel,” I said, “make me some coffee.” —“Go to hell!” she shot back. I couldn’t take it; I had never heard her curse before. “I’m going to punish you for that,” I declared. “You monster,” she said, “I won’t put up with your mistreatment anymore. Instead of using the calm and kind words a husband should use, you always try to force me into submission—touch me with that whip, [575] and I’ll leave your house and take my slaves with me, I swear.” She had threatened to leave so many times that I didn’t take her seriously and gave her a good beating. The next morning, after I left for work, she packed up and left, and when I returned home at noon, I found the house completely empty, with all the slaves gone except for the three who were working with me. I’ve lived happily since then, though; she can keep whatever she took, as long as she stays with her crooked-nosed mother and doesn’t bother my house again.

J. Johnstone.

J. Johnstone.

Laurence County, Miss.
Nov. 1, 1825.

Laurence County, MS
Nov. 1, 1825.

This is a vigorous specimen of condensation, and contains, according to the present standard, quite enough plot for a three-volume novel, with special opportunities for essays on the horrors of slavery. If any rising authoress—we will give way to a lady—should happen to stumble across this book, and see her opportunity, we will waive all rights, as, after trying to sketch out the story, it was abandoned in despair, owing to our inability to keep our wandering attention from the next advertisement, which gives a companion picture, though the complaint is this time laid by the woman:—

This is a strong example of condensation and contains, by today’s standards, more than enough plot for a three-volume novel, with plenty of chances for essays on the horrors of slavery. If any aspiring female author—let’s give credit where it’s due—happens to come across this book and sees her chance, we will relinquish all rights, as we abandoned our attempt to outline the story in frustration, unable to focus on anything but the next advertisement, which provides a companion image, though this time the complaint is made by the woman:—

$100 REWARD—For the apprehension of Lewis Turtle, a tall man, about 50 years, has considerable money and a high forehead, long face and lantern jawed man, a bad man, with a fist like a giant, and has often beat me, and I want him to end his days in the Penitentiary where he belongs, and he wears a grey coat, with a very large mouth, and one blue eye, and one blind blue eye, and a hideous looking man, and now living with the 7th woman, and me having one child to him, and he has gone off, and I want him brought slap up in the law, with blue pants. He ought to be arrested and has a $100 of my money, and a bald headed rascal, full of flattery and receipt, and she is a bad woman, and her little girl calls him “papa” and is called Eliza Jane Tillis, and a boy blind of one eye, and he is not a man who has got any too much sense, nor her. And he stole $100 from me, and some of my gold and silver, and ought to be caught and I will never live with him again, no never, he is a disgrace. And I would like to have him caught up and compelled to maintain me and his child, as I am his lawful wedded wife, and have the certificate of marriage in my possession.

$100 REWARD—For the capture of Lewis Turtle, a tall man in his 50s, who has a lot of money, a high forehead, a long face, and a lantern jaw. He’s a bad man with a fist like a giant and has often beaten me. I want him to spend the rest of his life in prison where he belongs. He wears a grey coat, has a very large mouth, one blue eye, and one blind blue eye. He’s a hideous-looking man living with his seventh woman. I have one child with him, and he has run off. I want him to face the law while wearing blue pants. He should be arrested; he has $100 of my money and is a bald-headed scoundrel, full of flattery and deceit. The woman he’s with is also bad, and her little girl calls him “papa.” The girl’s name is Eliza Jane Tillis, and they have a son who is blind in one eye. Neither he nor she is particularly bright. He stole $100 from me, along with some of my gold and silver, and he needs to be caught. I will never live with him again, not ever; he’s a disgrace. I want him to be captured and forced to support me and our child, as I am his lawful wedded wife and have the marriage certificate in my possession.

Nancy Turtle.

Nancy Turtle.

[576]

[576]

Coherency was evidently not Nancy’s forte, and if she entertained her turtle-dove with much conversation as per sample, he was hardly to be blamed for trying a little change. In 1853 a sad and suffering husband sought consolation from the Muse, and published his lines in a Connecticut paper. Though not strictly in accordance with the rules laid down by authorities, they contain a good deal in a small space:—

Coherency clearly wasn't Nancy's strength, and if she chatted with her turtle-dove like in the example, he couldn't really be blamed for wanting a bit of variety. In 1853, a grieving husband turned to poetry for comfort and published his verses in a Connecticut newspaper. Though not exactly following the guidelines set by experts, they pack a lot into a small space:—

Julia, my wife, has become really rude; She has left me feeling lonely; She has left my board, She took my bed,
She gave away my meat and bread,
She has left me despite my friends and the church,
She has taken all my shirts with her.
Now you who read this paper,
Since she took this foolish risk,
I will not pay a single cent.
For any debt she incurs.

Levi Rockwell.

Levi Rockwell.

East Windsor, Conn. Aug. 4, 1853.

East Windsor, CT. Aug. 4, 1853.

Another husband also flies to verse for consolation, and records both his experiences and his determination in the following notice:—

Another husband also turns to poetry for comfort and captures both his experiences and his resolve in the following Notice:—

My pet, my beautiful toy, My wife, Lizzie J., Has left my bed and my job,
With other guys to hang out. So, I want to give you this heads-up
Do not trust her with a straw,
For I will never pay her in corn,
Unless required by law.

Henry Kanute.

Henry Kanute.

Big Suamico, Oct. 13, 1870.

Big Suamico, Oct. 13, 1870.

Still another husband, after publishing some supposed grievances in the public prints, is made to see the error of his ways, and eats the leek in the following manner, and in[577] a New York paper. Verse is here the sign not of the disease but of the remedy:—

Still another husband, after airing some supposed issues in the public press, realizes his mistake and faces the consequences in the following way, as noted in a New York paper. In this case, verse represents not the problem but the solution:—

WHEREAS I, Daniel Clay, through misrepresentation, was induced to post my wife, Rhoda, in the papers; now I beg leave to inform the public, that I have again taken her to wife, after settling all our domestic broils in an amicable manner; so that everything, as usual, goes on like clockwork.

WHEREAS I, Daniel Clay, was misled into posting about my wife, Rhoda, in the newspapers; I would now like to inform the public that I have taken her back as my wife after resolving all our domestic issues peacefully; so everything is back to normal and running smoothly.

Divorced like scissors cut in two,
Each mourned the loss: Now sharpened and riveted again,
They’ll get the old shears to cut.

With a notification from a maligned as well as injured wife, this selection will probably be considered complete:—

With a notification from a wronged and hurt wife, this selection will probably be seen as complete:—

NOTICE.

Notice.

WHEREAS my husband Chas. F. Sandford, has thought proper to post me, and accuse me of having left his bed and board without cause, etc., I wish to make it known that the said Charlie never had a bed, the bed and furniture belonging to me, given to me by my father; the room and board he pretended to furnish me were in Providence, where he left me alone, while he staid at the Valley with his “Ma.” He offered me $200 to leave him and go home, telling at the same time that I could not stay at the place he had provided for me, and as I have never seen the named sum, I suppose he will let me have it if I can earn the amount. It was useless for Charlie to warn the public against trusting me on his account, as my father has paid my bills since my marriage, as before.

WHEREAS my husband Chas. F. Sandford has decided to accuse me of leaving his home without any reason, I want to clarify that the so-called Charlie never provided a bed; the bed and furniture were mine, given to me by my father. The room and board he claimed to provide were in Providence, where he left me alone while he stayed with his “Ma” at the Valley. He offered me $200 to leave him and go home, stating that I couldn't stay at the place he arranged for me, and since I've never seen that amount, I assume he will give it to me if I can earn it myself. It was pointless for Charlie to warn others not to trust me on his behalf since my father has been paying my bills since we got married, just like before.

Moral.—Girls, never marry a man not weaned from his “Ma,” and don’t marry the whole family.

Moral.—Girls, never marry a guy who isn’t independent from his “Mom,” and don’t marry the entire family.

Eleanor J. Sandford.

Eleanor J. Sandford.

North Providence, July 1, 1871.

North Providence, July 1, 1871.

From such advertisements as the foregoing to those which emanate from persons desirous of becoming married is but a step; though, as has been already shown, most of the applications which come under the head of Matrimonial in the New York papers hardly justify the selection. Here is one, of a fair and honourable type enough, but it is fifty years old, being from the New York Morning Herald of July 2, 1824. This probably accounts for its really meaning marriage, and nothing else:—

From advertisements like the ones mentioned to those from people looking to get married is just a small step; however, as has already been pointed out, most of the matrimonial ads in the New York papers don't really justify the choice. Here's one that's fair and respectable enough, but it's fifty years old, taken from the New York Morning Herald from July 2, 1824. This likely explains why it’s genuinely about marriage and nothing else:—

[578]

[578]

WANTED immediately a young LADY of the following description (as a wife) with about 2000 dollars as a patrimony: Sweet temper, spend little, be a good housewife and born in America; and as I am not more than 25 years of age I hope it will not be difficult to find a good wife.

WANTED immediately a young woman with the following qualities (as a wife) who has about $2000 in inheritance: a sweet temperament, frugal spending, be a good homemaker, and born in America; and since I am no more than 25 years old, I hope it won't be hard to find a good wife.

N.B.—I take my dwelling in South Second Street, No. 273. Any lady that answers the above description will please to leave her card.

N.B.—I live at 273 South Second Street. Any lady matching the description above is welcome to leave her card.

This swain in his anxiety has forgotten to give either name or initials, so we cannot take steps to see whether or not he succeeded in getting a “rale Yankee gal.” The advertisements of the present day are mainly of the character already quoted from the Sunday Mercury, in proof whereof we take one cut at random from a paper published three thousand miles away from that estimable journal, viz., the San Francisco Chronicle:—

This young man, in his anxiety, forgot to include either his name or initials, so we can’t check if he succeeded in finding a “real Yankee girl.” Today's advertisements are mostly like the ones we already mentioned from the Sunday Mercury. To support this, let's look at a random example from a paper published three thousand miles away from that respectable journal, namely, the San Francisco Chronicle:—

TWO FUN-LOVING YOUNG LADIES would like to correspond with an unlimited number of young gentlemen; object, fun. Address, Roxey Hastings and Gracie Baker, Virginia, Nevada.

TWO TWO FUN-LOVING YOUNG WOMEN want to connect with as many young men as possible; goal: fun. Reach out to Roxey Hastings and Gracie Baker, Virginia, Nevada.

jy17 2t*

jy17 2t*

This is barefaced enough, in all conscience; but it is by no means out of the way, and will stand as a fair example of the rest.

This is pretty straightforward, honestly; but it's by no means unusual, and it serves as a good example of the rest.

From the Waverley Magazine, Boston—which is not a magazine as we understand the term, but a large broadsheet periodical—of four years back, we extract a batch of communications, which for convenience might be called matrimonial, but which have little to do with marriage:—

From the Waverley Magazine, Boston—which isn’t a magazine in the way we think of it, but a large broadsheet periodical—from four years ago, we take a collection of letters that could be called matrimonial, but which have little to do with marriage:

CORRESPONDENCE.

Communication.

Two Dollars Each Address For One Insertion.

Two dollars per address for one insertion.


A young man of good standing in society, of refinement and education, desires an unlimited number of young-lady correspondents. Respectability and education the only requisites. Object, agreeable amusement during these long winter evenings. All letters answered. Photographs exchanged if desired. Address George Meade, box 125, Middleburg, Schoharie County, N.Y.

A young guy with a good social standing, refinement, and education is looking for an unlimited number of young women to correspond with. Respectability and education are the only requirements. The goal is to have enjoyable conversations during these long winter evenings. All letters will be responded to. Photographs can be exchanged if desired. Address George Meade, box 125, Middleburg, Schoharie County, N.Y.

[579]

[579]


Two young gentlemen would like to correspond with a number of young ladies, for improvement and amusement. Both are good-looking and in good circumstances. None but members of the National Matrimonial Association need reply. Address Casker Platt, box 2442, New-York City.

Two young men are interested in corresponding with several young women, for personal growth and fun. They are both attractive and well-off. Replies are welcome only from members of the National Matrimonial Association. Please contact Casker Platt, box 2442, New York City.


Ladies and gentlemen who wish correspondents will please send their photograph and ten cents for particulars and photograph of correspondent. Address “Central Personal Agency,” Garrettsville, O.

Women and gentlemen who want to connect with correspondents, please send your photograph and ten cents for details and a photograph of the correspondent. Address it to “Personal Agency,” Garrettsville, O.


A young gentleman of good character and habits desires to correspond with some young lady, for amusement, mutual benefit, and perhaps matrimony. Address Fred S. Loring, box 1356, St. Paul, Minn.

A youth man of good character and habits wants to exchange letters with a young lady for fun, mutual benefit, and maybe marriage. Contact Fred S. Loring, box 1356, St. Paul, Minn.


A young gentleman wishes a lady correspondent. Object, cultivation of the heart and mind. Address, Arthur C. Stanley, box 27, Letter Depot No. 54, East Twelfth Street, New-York City.

A youth man is looking for a female pen pal. Purpose: to develop the heart and mind. Contact: Arthur C. Clarke, box 27, Letter Depot No. 54, East Twelfth Street, New York City.


Will “Mac,” of Cambridge, who has a lady’s privilege of changing her mind, please send her full address to J. S. W., now of Portland, Me.? J. S. W.

Will “Mac,” of Cambridge, who has the right to change her mind, please send your full address to J. S. W., now living in Portland, Me.? J.S.W.


Attention.—Ladies, when you have nothing else to do write to me. Address Edward Bell, box 27, Sheffield, Mass.

Attention.—Ladies, if you have some free time, feel free to write to me. Address it to Edward Bell, box 27, Sheffield, Mass.

The same paper also contains the following. As it is published early in the year, February 5, 1870, there must have been a rare rush of the amorous to enlist themselves under its banners:—

The same paper also contains the following. Since it was published early in the year, February 5, 1870, there must have been a rare influx of romantics eager to sign up under its banners:—

NATIONAL MATRIMONIAL ASSOCIATION.

NATIONAL MARRIAGE ASSOCIATION.

HAVE you joined the National Matrimonial Association? Every young lady and gentleman will learn of many privileges and advantages to be gained by joining the association. 13,400 members since Nov. 9. Monthly meeting of members in different sections of the Union alternating for convenience. Members, though strangers, can recognize each other by means of the grip and secret signs of the association. The circular of the association, giving all particulars, will be sent postpaid upon receipt of ten cents. A young lady and gentleman[580] are wanted as agents in towns where none have been appointed. Members wishing any information at any time need not inclose stamp. Address “Box 686,” Hartford, Conn. Nos. 6, 8.

HAVE you signed up for the National Matrimonial Association? Every young lady and gentleman will discover the many benefits and perks of becoming a member. There have been 13,400 members since November 9. Monthly member meetings are held in different parts of the country, alternating for convenience. Members, even if they don't know each other, can identify one another using the grip and secret signs of the association. A detailed brochure about the association will be sent to you for ten cents, postage paid. We are looking for a young lady and gentleman to serve as agents in towns where there haven't been any appointed yet. Members seeking information at any time do not need to include a stamp. Please address inquiries to “Box 686,” Hartford, Conn. #6, #8.

Falling back from matrimony and its substitutes into the regular channel, we take a declaration which contains a theory doubtless often promulgated nowadays at Bethlehem Hospital, Colney Hatch, and maybe Earlswood. Perhaps, though, it will be considered worthy the attention of philosophers, seeing that just now any new or startling view is sure to command not only regard but remuneration:—

Falling back from marriage and its alternatives into the usual path, we make a statement that probably aligns with theories often discussed today at places like Bethlehem Hospital, Colney Hatch, and maybe even Earlswood. However, it might be deemed worthy of philosophers' attention, as right now any fresh or shocking perspective is sure to attract not just interest but payment:—

Light developes light—ad infinitum.
St. Louis (Missouri Territory) North America.
April 10, A.D. 1818.

Light develops light—ad infinitum.
St. Louis (Missouri Territory) North America.
April 10, CE 1818.

TO ALL THE WORLD.—I declare the earth to be hollow, and habitable within; containing a number of concentric spheres, one within the other, and that their poles are open twelve or sixteen degrees. I pledge my life in support of this truth, and am ready to explore the concave, if the world will support and aid me in the undertaking. John Cleves Symmes
of Ohio, late Captain of Infantry.

TO ALL THE WORLD.—I declare that the earth is hollow and has space inside; it consists of several layers, one inside the other, and that the poles are open at twelve or sixteen degrees. I vow my life to support this truth and am prepared to explore the interior, if the world will support and assist me in this endeavor. John Cleves Symmes
from Ohio, former Captain of Infantry.

I ask one hundred brave companions, well equipped, to start for Siberia, in autumn, with reindeer and sledges, on the ice of the frozen sea. I engage we find a warm country and rich land, stocked with thrifty vegetables and animals, if not men, on reaching about sixty-nine miles northward of latitude 82°. We will return in the succeeding spring.—J. C. S.

I’m asking one hundred brave companions, well-equipped, to head to Siberia in the fall, with reindeer and sleds, across the ice of the frozen sea. I promise we’ll find a warm place with fertile land filled with hearty plants and animals, if not people, when we reach about sixty-nine miles north of latitude 82°. We’ll come back in the following spring.—J. C. S.

Captain Symmes seems pretty positive about getting back, though how he intended to get up again after getting down into one of the lower spheres he doesn’t say. Perhaps a hundred brave companions, standing on each other’s heads, might manage it, and if that was the idea, one of our own learned societies might look into it. Good thick heads would of course be necessary to bear the strain, and that may be, after all, the reason why they are so plentiful. Quien sabe? Far more within the ken of ordinary mortals is the following, which comes from Connecticut, and is well worthy of even that land of “notions:”—

Captain Symmes seems pretty sure about getting back, but he doesn’t explain how he plans to rise again after going down into one of the lower spheres. Maybe a hundred brave individuals, stacking on top of each other, could pull it off, and if that’s the idea, one of our own learned societies might want to look into it. Of course, solid heads would be necessary to handle the pressure, and that might be why they’re so common. Quien sabe? Much more understandable for regular people is the following, which comes from Connecticut and is well worth mentioning even in that land of “notions:” —

[581]

[581]

THE SUBSCRIBER

THE MEMBER

BEING determined not to move from this State, requests all persons indebted to pay particular attention to his

BEING determined not to move from this State, requests all persons indebted to pay particular attention to his

New definition of an Old Grammar, viz.
Present Tense.

New definition of an Old Grammar, viz.
Present Tense.

I am. Thou art. He is.

I am. You are. He is.

I am[48]   - In want of money.
Thou art[49] Indebted to me.
He is[50] Shortly to be authorized, for the want thereof to take the body.

Unless immediate payment is made, you must expect to take a lecture upon my new plural.

Unless you pay right away, you should expect to get a lecture about my new plural.

The Subscriber offers for sale, at his Store, two rods south of the Fish-market, the following articles, viz.

The Subscriber is selling the following items at his store, located two rods south of the fish market:

Solid Arguments.
Hot Oysters, Boiled Lobsters, Ham and Eggs, Butter and Cheese, &c.
Agitations.
Cider, Vinegar, Salt, Pickles, etc.
Grievances.
Pepper-Sauce, Mustard, Cayenne-Pepper.
Punishments.
Rum, Brandy, Gin, Bitters, etc.
Superfluities.
Snuff, Tobacco, Segars, Pomatum, etc.
Extraordinaries.
Sea Serpent’s Bones, Wooden Shoes, Waterwitches, etc.

Solid Arguments.
Hot Oysters, Boiled Lobsters, Ham and Eggs, Butter and Cheese, etc.
Agitations.
Cider, Vinegar, Salt, Pickles, etc.
Grievances.
Pepper Sauce, Mustard, Cayenne Pepper.
Punishments.
Rum, Brandy, Gin, Bitters, etc.
Superfluities.
Snuff, Tobacco, Cigars, Pomade, etc.
Extraordinaries.
Sea Serpent Bones, Wooden Shoes, Water Witches, etc.

N.B. The above articles will be exchanged for

N.B. The articles mentioned above will be exchanged for

Necessaries, viz.

Essentials, namely

Bank-Bills at par, Crowns, Dollars, Half ditto, Quarter ditto, Pistareens, Nine penny pieces, Four-penny half-penny ditto, or Cents.

Bank bills at face value, crowns, dollars, half dollars, quarter dollars, pistareens, nine-penny pieces, four and a half penny pieces, or cents.

[582]

[582]

Terms of Payment:

Payment Terms:

One half the sum down, and the other half on the delivery of the
articles.

Half the total amount upfront, and the other half when the items are delivered.

Rudiments gratis, viz.

Free basics, i.e.

  • Those indebted for Debates
  • Must not be Upset;
  • Nor think it a Complaint
  • If they should meet Consequences
  • For calling such Excesses;
  • Nor think it Amazing
  • That I find it Essential
  • To demand immediate Payment.

ANDREW SMITH.

ANDREW SMITH.

The smallest favour thankfully received.

The smallest favor gratefully received.

New London,
March 1, 1819.

New London, March 1, 1819.

It seems a pity that such genius as that of “the subscriber” should have been wasted upon trifles; but possibly in such a country as the United States, where nothing is beyond a man’s reach if his head is only long enough, he reaped the honours and rewards to which his talents entitled him. So many famous people have been called Smith, in America as well as here, that it would be vain to attempt a discovery of his subsequent career. Maybe he went to New York, and composed the following advertisement, which is just of three years’ later date, and seems strange to those who know the Empire City in its present condition only:—

It’s a shame that such talent as “the subscriber” was wasted on trivial things; but maybe in a country like the United States, where anyone can achieve anything if they just put their mind to it, he got the recognition and rewards his skills deserved. So many famous people have had the last name Smith, both in America and here, that it would be pointless to try to track down his later career. Maybe he went to New York and wrote the following ad, which is dated just three years later and seems odd to anyone who only knows the city as it is today:—

ANY person in want of a DEAD PIG may find one, that will probably answer his purpose, in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and Spring Streets. Applicants need not be in any great haste, as it is expected that he will lie there several days; and if the warm weather should last, and the carriages will let him alone, he will grow—bigger and bigger.

ANew York person who needs a DEAD PIG can likely find one in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and Spring Streets. There's no need to rush, as it's expected that it will be there for several days; and if the warm weather continues, and the carriages stay away, it will get—bigger and bigger.

Getting nearer to modern times—1822 is very old for American notions—we find a New Yorker who speaks his mind freely, and treats his customers with moral illustration as well as business detail:—

Getting closer to modern times—1822 is quite old for American ideas—we see a New Yorker who expresses his thoughts openly and provides his customers with moral lessons as well as business details:—

[583]

[583]

GEORGE OTT, 262, North Second Street, respectfully informs his customers and friends in general, that his bakehouse is in full operation, and that he is always prepared to supply them with loaf-bread, crackers, pilot-bread, fresh rusks, &c. &c.

GEORGE OTT, 262, North Second Street, respectfully informs his customers and friends that his bakehouse is fully operational, and he is always ready to supply them with loaf bread, crackers, pilot bread, fresh rusks, etc.

Having disposed of his list of wares, our baker proceeds, and no one can accuse him of mincing the matter:—

Having finished selling his products, our baker moves on, and no one can say he is being vague about it:—

On his part nothing shall be left undone to give complete satisfaction to his customers, and in return he expects them to pay punctually when their bills are presented. Experience having taught him, that a disorderly soldier in the ranks and a bad paymaster in a baker’s list of customers, are the most troublesome customers a man can have anything to do with, he requests those who do not calculate on paying promptly, to oblige him so far as to give their custom to a more accommodating baker.

On his part, he will do everything possible to fully satisfy his customers, and in return, he expects them to pay on time when their bills are presented. Experience has taught him that a disorganized soldier in ranks and a bad paymaster among a baker’s customers are the most difficult clients to deal with, so he asks those who don’t plan to pay promptly to please take their business to a more accommodating baker.

Being anxious to take a journey for the benefit of his health, which is much impaired, those indebted to him would oblige him very much by making immediate payment; and he requests those who may have claims against him to call and receive their money.

Being eager to go on a trip for his health, which has greatly suffered, those who owe him money would really help him out by paying up right away; and he asks those who might have claims against him to come and collect their money.

Payment of quite a different kind is treated of in the next advertisement, which few boys, old or young, will read without feeling interested. It is, though in such few words, a marvellous exhibition of the suaviter in modo and the fortiter in re well mixed; and one can well understand the writer to be an agreeable friend and jolly companion, but a strict disciplinarian:—

Payment of a very different sort is discussed in the next advertisement, which few boys, whether young or old, will read without feeling intrigued. It is, in just a few words, a remarkable display of the suaviter in modo and the fortiter in re perfectly blended; and one can easily see the writer as a friendly and fun companion, yet a firm strict parent:—

Flushing Institute.

Flushing Institute.

DEAR BOYS—Trouble begins Septr. 15.

Dear Boys—Trouble starts Sept. 15.

E. A. FAIRCHILD.

E.A. Fairchild.

It was said of one of our public schoolmasters that it was a pleasure to be flogged by him. We will take advantage of the present opportunity to remind those who have accepted it as a proverb, and believed it firmly, that the originator of the remark, like the originators of many other observations, never practically put his ideas to the test. Possibly on the same principle it would be a pleasure to have one’s property sold off by auction, provided the advertisement[584] were drawn out like that of the Yankee auctioneer from which we select this portion:—

It was said about one of our public school teachers that being punished by him was enjoyable. We'll take this chance to remind those who have taken it as a saying and truly believed it that the person who came up with that remark, like many other commentators, never really tested their ideas in real life. Perhaps, on the same note, it would be a joy to have your belongings sold off at auction, as long as the advertisement[584] was crafted like that of the Yankee auctioneer from which we pull this

I can sell for eighteen hundred and thirty nine dollars, a palace, a sweet and pensive retirement, on the virgin banks of the Hudson, containing 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divided by the hand of nature and art, into pasture and tillage, into plain and declivity, into the stern abruptness and the dalliance of most tufted meadow. Streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) dance through this wilderness of beauty, to the music of the cricket and grasshopper. The evergreen sighs as the evening zephyr flits through its shadowy bosom, and the aspen trembles like the love-splitting heart of a damsel. Fruits of the tropics in golden beauty melt on the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The stables are worthy of the steeds of Nimrod or the studs of Achilles, and its henery was built expressly for the birds of paradise; while sombre in the distance, like the cave of a hermit, glimpses are caught of the dog house. Here poets have come and warbled their lays, here sculptors have cut, here painters have robbed the scene of dreamy landscapes, and here the philosopher discovered the stone which made him the alchymist of nature. As the young moon hangs like a cutting of silver from the blue breast of the sky, an angel may be seen each night dancing with golden tiptoes on the greensward. (N.B. This angel goes with the place.)

I can sell a palace for eighteen hundred and thirty-nine dollars, offering a sweet and thoughtful retirement on the pristine banks of the Hudson, covering 85 acres. The land is beautifully divided by nature and design into pastures and farmland, flat areas and slopes, as well as the rugged edges and the soft allure of lush meadows. Streams filled with sparkling fish dance through this beautiful wilderness, accompanied by the sounds of crickets and grasshoppers. The evergreens sway as the evening breeze moves through their shaded branches, and the aspen shivers like a love-stricken heart. Tropical fruits hang in golden splendor from the branches, while bees return heavy and sweet to their hives after a day in the fields. The stables could house the horses of mighty warriors like Nimrod or Achilles, and the henhouse was specifically built for exotic birds; meanwhile, in the distance, you can catch glimpses of the dog house, resembling a hermit's cave. Poets have come here to sing their verses, sculptors have carved here, painters have captured dreamy landscapes, and philosophers have found solace and inspiration. As the young moon hangs like a slice of silver in the blue sky, you might catch sight of an angel dancing nightly on the emerald grass with golden feet. (N.B. This angel belongs to the place.)

Even our great Robins in his best form never exceeded this in picturesqueness of description. But our man could stay, and this one had shot his bolt when he got to the finish of the foregoing paragraph. At the commencement of the war against the “Seceshers,” a good many of the Northern tradesmen made capital out of it, the following, in a Tribune of February 1861, forming a case in point:—

Even our great Robins at his best never matched this level of vivid description. But our guy could keep going, and this one had emptied his thoughts when he wrapped up the previous paragraph. At the start of the war against the “Seceshers,” quite a few Northern merchants took advantage of the situation, as shown in a Tribune from February 1861, which serves as a clear example:—

IMPORTANT FROM CHARLESTOWN!
MAJOR ANDERSON TAKEN!
Entrance obtained under a flag of truce!
New Yorkers implicated!
Great Excitement! What will the Southern Confederacy do next?

IMPORTANT NEWS FROM CHARLESTOWN!
MAJOR ANDERSON CAPTURED!
Access granted under a truce flag!
New Yorkers are getting involved!
Big News! What’s the Southern Confederacy going to do next?

ON the 8th instant, about twelve hours before midnight, under cover of a bright sun, Col. George S. Cooke, of the Charlestown Photographic Light Artillery, with a strong force, made his way to Fort[585] Sumter. On being discovered by the vigilant sentry, he ran up a flag of truce. The gate of the fortress being open, Col. Cooke immediately and heroically penetrated to the presence of Major Anderson, and levelling a double barrelled camera, demanded his unconditional surrender in the name of E. Anthony and the Photographic Community. Seeing that resistance would be in vain, the Major at once surrendered, and was borne in triumph to Charlestown, forwarded to New York, and is now on sale in the shape of Exquisite Card Photographs at 28 cents per copy, by E. Anthony, &c. &c.

ON the 8th, around twelve hours before midnight, under a bright sun, Col. George S. Cooke of the Charlestown Photographic Light Artillery, with a strong team, made his way to Fort[585] Sumter. When the alert sentry spotted him, he raised a flag of truce. With the fortress gate open, Col. Cooke bravely entered to meet Major Anderson, and aiming a double-barreled camera at him, demanded his unconditional surrender in the name of E. Anthony and the Photographic Community. Realizing that resistance would be futile, the Major instantly surrendered and was triumphantly taken to Charlestown, forwarded to New York, and is now being sold as exquisite card photographs at 28 cents each, by E. Anthony, etc. etc.

“Old McCalla” is or was a character well known in Princetown, Indiana. A few years back, when the following was published, he was nearly ninety years of age, but was still capable of minding his own business:—

“Old McCalla” is or was a character well known in Princetown, Indiana. A few years ago, when the following was published, he was almost ninety years old but was still capable of minding his own business:—

WANTED.—Two or three boarders of a decent stripe, such as go to bed at nine o’clock without a pipe or cigar in their mouth. I wish them to rise in time to wash their faces and comb their heads before breakfast. When they put on their boots to draw down their pants over them, and not have them rumpled about their knees, which is a sure sign of a rowdy. When they sit down to rest or warm by the fire, not to put their feet on the mantlepiece or bureau, nor spit in the bread tray. And to pay their board weekly, monthly, or quarterly—as may be agreed upon—with a smile upon their faces, and they will find me as pleasant as an opposum up a persimmon tree.

WWANTED.—Two or three respectable boarders who go to bed by nine o'clock without a pipe or cigar. I expect them to wake up in time to wash their faces and comb their hair before breakfast. When they put on their boots, I want them to pull their pants down over them so they don’t get wrinkled around their knees, which is a clear sign of a troublemaker. When they sit down to relax or warm up by the fire, they shouldn’t put their feet on the mantle or dresser, nor spit in the bread tray. And they should pay their rent weekly, monthly, or quarterly as agreed, with a smile on their faces, and they’ll find me as friendly as a possum in a persimmon tree.

Old McCalla.

Old McCalla.

Another boarding-house advertisement, which comes from Portland, Oregon, is also characteristic. A correspondent informs us that the Mr Thompson mentioned in it is a hard-working blacksmith, and he and his wife run the concern on the temperance plan:—

Another boarding-house advertisement from Portland, Oregon, is also typical. A correspondent tells us that the Mr. Thompson mentioned in it is a hardworking blacksmith, and he and his wife manage the place on a temperance plan:—

THOMPSON’S TWO-BIT HOUSE,
Front St., bet. Main and Madison.

THOMPSON’S TWO-BIT HOUSE,
Front St., between Main and Madison.


NO DECEPTION THERE!

NO LIES HERE!


Hi-you Muck-a-muck, and Here’s Your Bill of Fare:

Hey there, VIP, Here’s Your Menu:

THREE KINDS OF MEAT FOR DINNER; ALSO FOR Breakfast and Supper. Ham and Eggs every other day, and Fresh Fish, Hot Rolls, and Cake in abundance.

THREE KINDS OF MEAT FOR DINNER; ALSO FOR Breakfast and Supper. Ham and eggs every other day, plus fresh fish, hot rolls, and plenty of cake.

[586]

[586]

Hurry up; and none of your sneering at CHEAP BOARDING-HOUSES. Now’s the time to have the wrinkles taken out of your bellies after the hard winter.

Hurry up, and no more mocking cheap boarding houses. Now’s the time to get those winter kinks out of your stomachs.

  • Board and Lodging $5.00
  • Board $4.00

Six NEW rooms, furnished with beds—the BEST in town—at my Branch House, corner First and Jefferson.

Six NEW rooms, furnished with beds—the BEST in town—at my Branch House, corner of First and Jefferson.

I am ready for the BONE and SINEW of the country.

I am ready for the backbone and heart of the country.

“Hi-you Muck a-muck,” we are also told, is a phrase in the Chinook language for plenty to eat. What the Chinook language is we must leave our readers to discover for themselves. Is it “heathen Chinee” as distinguished from the pure and unadulterated article? We pause for the reply of an expert, and while pausing, think that the following may be contemplated with some degree of interest, for families over here are drifting to the same state of difficulty very fast. A good servant is a jewel to be worn in one’s bosom even in London, and so it is nothing wonderful that in Syracuse, U.S., five years back, this should have appeared:—

“Hi-you Muck a-muck,” we are told, is a phrase in the Chinook language meaning plenty to eat. What the Chinook language is, we will leave for our readers to discover on their own. Is it “heathen Chinee” as opposed to the pure and untainted version? We’ll wait for an expert’s response, and while we’re waiting, we think the following may be worth some interest, as families over here are quickly facing the same challenges. A good servant is a treasure to be cherished, even in London, so it’s not surprising that in Syracuse, U.S., five years ago, this was reported:—

WANTED—A Good SERVANT GIRL to whom the highest wages will be paid. Having had great difficulty in procuring good help, on account of the misfortune of having seven small children, we will poison, drown, or otherwise make away with four of them on application of a first class servant girl. Apply at the office of this paper.

WANTED—A Good SERVANT GIRL with the best pay available. We've been struggling to find good help because we have seven little kids. We’re willing to get rid of four of them if that's what it takes to hire a top-notch servant girl. Apply at the office of this paper.

What a glorious subject this would have been for Leech or Doyle in the palmy days of Punch, when wit and humour, and not high art and sober earnest, were considered essentials for the illustration of a comic paper, and when jokes were not regarded as ill-timed on the part of a contributor! Historic painters are now the only humourists, and we do hope one, either English or American, may see this, and avail himself of it. The next is from an Iowa periodical, and will show our impartiality to all states in the Union, no one having received an undue share of attention—that is, beyond its merits. It will, besides, bring us up to comparatively recent dates:—

What a fantastic topic this would have been for Leech or Doyle in the heyday of Punch, when wit and humor, rather than high art and serious intent, were seen as essential for a comic publication, and when contributors weren't criticized for making jokes at any time! Now, historical painters are the only humorists left, and we truly hope that one, whether from England or America, will come across this and take advantage of it. The next piece is from a publication in Iowa, which will demonstrate our fairness to all states in the Union, ensuring that no state has received more attention than it deserves—beyond its merits. Additionally, it will bring us up to relatively recent dates:—

[587]

[587]

CAUTION.

Warning.

WHEREAS, one U. T. S. RICE, a small, insignificant-looking whelp, who wears spectacles, carries a large cane, has a limp in his walk, talks smooth, and lies like Satan, has been obtaining money and credit by representing himself as a partner in the firm of Smart and Parrott, or as agent for us: we hereby caution all persons that we are not responsible for any of his acts. He is in no way connected with us, but is a perfect dead beat in every sense of the word.

WHEREAS, one U. T. S. RICE, a small and seemingly insignificant guy who wears glasses, carries a big cane, has a limp when he walks, speaks smoothly, and lies like crazy, has been getting money and credit by claiming to be a partner in the firm of Smart and Parrott or as our agent: we hereby warn everyone that we are not responsible for any of his actions. He is in no way associated with us and is a complete deadbeat in every sense of the word.

“Dead beat” is a comprehensive and transatlantic euphemism for the more expressive thief, scoundrel, swindler, or sharper, any one of which, or all four combined, if he so pleases, the “dead beat” may be; and the subject of the Iowa notice seems a full-fledged and duly-qualified representative of the class.

“Dead beat” is a broad and cross-continental term for the more vivid thief, con artist, fraudster, or cheat, any one of which, or even all four together, the “dead beat” can be; and the person mentioned in the Iowa notice appears to be a complete and fully qualified member of this group.

It is hardly necessary to state that in America quacks and quack medicines abound. The papers are full of the advertisements of these men and their nostrums, and it would be quite easy to fill a very large volume with specimens. So much attention has already been given to the charlatans of Europe that we must perforce content ourselves with a very few specimens from the répertoires of their American brethren; but the chief difficulty is not what to select but what to omit. One of the evils which medical impostors in the States pretend to cure is that of drunkenness, and a notice in Harper’s Weekly, which seems to be the chief organ of this kind of advertisers, runs as follows:—

It’s hardly necessary to say that in America, scams and fake medicines are everywhere. The newspapers are filled with ads from these people and their products, and it would be easy to create a very large book just from examples. There’s been so much attention given to the frauds in Europe that we have to settle for only a few examples from their American counterparts; but the main challenge isn’t what to include but what to leave out. One issue that medical frauds in the States claim to fix is alcoholism, and an ad in Harper’s Weekly, which seems to be the main venue for these types of advertisers, says as follows:—

DRUNKARDS, Stop! G. C. Beers, M.D., 670, Washington Street, Boston, Mass., has a medicine that will cure intemperance. Recommended by Judge Russell. Can be given secretly. Send stamp for circular.

DDrunks, Stop! G. C. Beers, M.D., 670 Washington Street, Boston, MA, has a medicine that will cure alcohol addiction. Recommended by Judge Russell. Can be given discreetly. Send a stamp for a brochure.

Another vendor of specifics gives in the New York Sun this astonishing statement and purely unselfish promise:—

Another seller of details provides in the New York Sun this astonishing statement and completely selfless promise:—

TRIED friends the best of friends. Since the suspension of H. C. Thorpe’s advertisements, the number of deaths by consumption is truly astonishing; advertisements will now appear for the benefit of the afflicted.

TRIED friends the best of friends. Since H. C. Thorpe stopped his ads, the number of death cases from tuberculosis is really shocking; ads will now start showing up to help those who are suffering.

[588]

[588]

But this is nothing compared with the marvellous Riga Balsam, about the incomparable virtues of which we have a long advertisement, which, after all sorts of extraordinary statements, ends thus:—

But this is nothing compared to the amazing Riga Balsam, about which we have a lengthy advertisement that, after all sorts of extraordinary claims, ends like this:—

N.B. The trial of the Riga Balsam is this: Take a hew or a ram, drive a nail through its skull, brains and tongue, then pour some of it into the wound, it will directly stop the blood and cure the wound in eight or nine minutes, and the creature will eat as before.

N.B. The trial of the Riga Balsam is this: Take a young bull or a ram, drive a nail through its skull, brain, and tongue, then pour some of it into the wound; it will immediately stop the bleeding and heal the wound in about eight or nine minutes, and the animal will eat as it did before.

A stoop costs two dollars, and it is sold in smaller portions; at the sale every person gets a direction which describes its surprising virtues and how it is to be used. The glasses, jars and bottles, are sealed up with this seal (A. K. Balsam) to prevent counterfeits.

A stoop costs two dollars and is available in smaller portions; during the sale, everyone receives a guide that explains its amazing benefits and how to use it. The glasses, jars, and bottles are sealed with this seal (A. K. Balsam) to prevent fakes.

Ecclesiasticus, chap. xxxiii. ver. 4. The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth, and he that is wise will not abhor them.

Ecclesiasticus, chap. xxxiii. ver. 4. The Lord has created medicines from the earth, and those who are wise will not reject them.

Which forcibly reminds us of an equally wonderful specific which was known in Holland about a century ago, if we may believe the Dutch Mercurius for January 1772, which states that “on December the 30th, 1771, Mr Tunnestrik experimented in the presence of the Prince Stadholder and sundry professors, by driving an iron spike into a horse’s head, and afterwards pulling it out with a pair of pincers. Hereupon he poured certain oils by him invented into the wound, by means of which the horse within six minutes was whole again, and not even a scar remained to be seen.” This horse, like the celebrated leg which was cured of its fracture with tar-water and oakum, must have been made of wood. With regard to the Riga Balsam, we might swallow that statement with the assistance, say, of another wonderful American potion, the Plantation Bitters, which, if we are to judge by the following, could help anything down:—

Which forcibly reminds us of an equally amazing case known in Holland about a hundred years ago, if we can trust the Dutch Mercurius from January 1772, which says that “on December 30th, 1771, Mr. Tunnestrik experimented in front of the Prince Stadholder and several professors by driving an iron spike into a horse’s head, and then pulling it out with a pair of pliers. After that, he poured some oils he had invented into the wound, and within six minutes, the horse was completely healed, with not even a scar left.” This horse, like the famous leg that was cured from its fracture with tar-water and oakum, must have been made of wood. As for the Riga Balsam, we might accept that claim with the help of another amazing American remedy, the Plantation Bitters, which, judging by the following, could help anything down:—

S. T.—1860.—X.

S. T.—1860—X.

TTo be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether to endure mental anguish, Burning lips, sharp pains, digestive distress,
And unnamed physical pain;
Or if, with sudden momentum,
Grab a bottle of Plantation Bitters,
[589] And, as Gunther promises, I will be a man again.
Gunther said my eyes looked dull, My face looks worn, and my breath is really bad,
I'm a bit troublesome, actually,
He subtly suggested I was quickly becoming
Such a hassle.
Four bottles hidden under my vest are now gone:
My food is delicious, and I'm really hungry,
My step is lively, my mind sharp, and
I’ve gained nine pounds.

The formula “S. T.—1860.—X.” appears at the top of every advertisement of the bitters, and the first two portions doubtless refer to the name of the inventor and the date of the invention, while x may be the unknown quantity which has to be taken before the promises held forth in the advertisement are fulfilled. A good instance of the difference between precept and practice is shown by the annexed, which comes well from a firm in no way disdainful of the uses of advertising:—

The formula “S. T.—1860.—X.” appears at the top of every advertisement for the bitters, and the first two parts likely refer to the inventor's name and the year the invention was made, while x might represent the unknown factor that needs to be taken before the claims made in the advertisement are achieved. A clear example of the gap between what is said and what actually happens can be seen in the following, which comes from a company that is certainly not dismissive of advertising:—

S. T.—1860.—X.

S. T.—1860.—X.

SOME of our contemporaries seem to think that the triumph of their cause depended, like the fate of Jericho, upon the amount of noise made. In these days of refinement and luxury, an article of real intrinsic merit is soon appreciated, hence the unbounded and unparalleled success of

SOME of our contemporaries seem to think that the success of their cause depends, much like the fall of Jericho, on how much noise they make. In today’s world of sophistication and luxury, something of true value is quickly recognized, which explains the enormous and unmatched success of

Plantation Bitters.

Plantation Bitters.

Like the two preceding, this is from Harper’s Weekly, the price for advertisements in the inner pages of which is said to be 1 dollar 50 cents per line, about five times as much as any of our highest priced papers, for the lines are by no means long for the money. The best customer Harper’s has, and at the price perhaps the best customer any paper ever had, is Professor Leonidas Hamilton, who puffs himself in the most extraordinary manner, being always well before his beloved public, and now and again having seven columns of closely printed matter in Harper’s, at the exorbitant price just mentioned. This lengthy advertisement is called “A[590] Timely Warning, and the Reason Why,” and is constructed upon truly Yankee principles. It commences:—

Like the two before it, this is from Harper’s Weekly, where the cost for ads in the inner pages is said to be $1.50 per line, about five times more than any of our priciest papers, since the lines are definitely not long for the money. The best customer Harper’s has, and probably the best customer any paper has ever had at that price, is Professor Leonidas Hamilton, who promotes himself in the most extraordinary way, always staying in front of his adoring public and occasionally showcasing seven columns of densely printed material in Harper’s, at the steep price mentioned earlier. This lengthy advertisement is titled “A[590] Timely Warning, and the Reason Why,” and is crafted on truly Yankee principles. It starts:—

HOW sublime, how beautiful the thought that the researches and developments of the Nineteenth Century have added fresh and glorious laurels to the great temple of fame and science! In every department and phase of progressive development the hand of the sage and philosopher is ever busy—ever ready to devise means for the amelioration of human woe and the prolongation of life.

HOW sublime, how beautiful the thought that the research and advancements of the Nineteenth Century have added new and wonderful achievements to the great temple of fame and science! In every area and aspect of progress, the efforts of the sage and philosopher are always at work—constantly ready to find ways to alleviate human suffering and extend life.

Think you his an enviable position—an existence without stern obstacles and perplexing cares? Nay, far from it; for he plucks the lovely rose in peril of the thorn; he climbs to eminence and renown, and every step he gains is planted on a prostrate foe. He digs the gold and tries it; another and a bolder hand must strike the blow that stamps its worth and gives it currency as genuine.

Think you he’s in an enviable position—a life free of serious challenges and confusing worries? Not at all; for he picks the beautiful rose at the risk of the thorns. He reaches for success and fame, but each step he takes is built on the defeat of others. He extracts the gold and tests it; another, bolder hand must deliver the blow that verifies its value and gives it real currency.

It must be admitted by every rational mind that the man who contributes the most toward promoting the happiness and welfare of the human race, must of necessity be the most highly esteemed by his fellow-men; acting upon this principle, Prof. R. L. Hamilton, of New York, has, by patient investigation, and vast experience, solved the uncertain question in relation to the vexed and important subject of Liver Complaints and other chronic diseases.

It must be acknowledged by every reasonable person that the man who does the most to enhance the happiness and well-being of humanity is naturally the most respected by his peers. Based on this principle, Prof. R.L. Hamilton from New York has, through diligent research and extensive experience, resolved the complex issues surrounding the challenging and significant topic of liver diseases and other chronic conditions.

After a long preamble of this kind the Professor describes the “Symptoms of Liver Complaints,” from which by an easy transition he comes to some “Important Facts,” informing his “dear reader” that he “has remedies that will strike at the root of them as by magic,” for “there is no such word as fail in his treatment.” After that, a couple of columns are devoted to enumerate the “Reasons why Dr Hamilton is successful.” One of these is—“Because he has investigated every remedy known to science, and, in addition, has new remedies, of the fields and forests of his own Discovery, and of the greatest possible efficacy and value.” He ends this part with the awful words, “The truth must be told if the heavens fall,” and a lot of testimonials are produced, each with a sensation heading, and relating the most wonderful effects produced by the Doctor’s medicines. Thus one has got “an old lung difficulty;” another has “gained twenty pounds in three months,”—not money unfortunately,[591] but flesh. One of the most curious puffs arising out of these testimonials is the following:—

After a lengthy introduction like this, the Professor talks about the “Symptoms of Liver Issues,” and easily moves on to some “Important Facts,” letting his “dear reader” know that he “has remedies that will magically address the root of the problem,” because “there’s no such thing as failure in his treatment.” After that, he spends a couple of columns listing the “Reasons why Dr. Hamilton is successful.” One of these is—“Because he has examined every remedy known to science and, on top of that, has new remedies, from the fields and forests of his own discovery, that are extremely effective and valuable.” He wraps up this section with the dramatic phrase, “The truth must be told even if the heavens fall,” and presents a bunch of testimonials, each with an eye-catching title, recounting the amazing effects of the Doctor’s medicines. For example, one person claims to have an “old lung issue;” another states they have “gained twenty pounds in three months”—but unfortunately, not in money,[591] just weight. One of the most interesting endorsements from these testimonials is the following:—

IS ALL THIS TRUE?

IS THIS ALL TRUE?

Mr. Samuel L. Furlong, of Muskegan, Mich., in a letter dated April 6, 1868, writes:

Mr. Samuel L. Furlong, from Muskegan, Mich., in a letter dated April 6, 1868, writes:

“I have cut out Seventeen of the testimonials that were in the New York Tribune, and sent them to the persons themselves, with letters of inquiry about them, and also about you, and every one stated that they were true, and recommending your remedies very highly; also giving a history of their cases, which was, indeed, very cheering to a poor man, with a sick wife and six small children to support.”

“I’ve gathered Seventeen testimonials from the New York Tribune and sent them to the individuals involved, along with questions about them and about you. Everyone confirmed that they were true and highly recommended your remedies, sharing details of their situations, which was really uplifting for someone like me, struggling to support a sick wife and six young kids.”

The inconsequence of the conclusion is quite refreshing. What benefit this distressed family could have derived from the perusal of the testimonials we will not presume to say. Thus by an easy climax of sensational headings and cures, we arrive at three final articles, respectively headed, “In his mercy he saves the afflicted!”—“Read, ye afflicted”—and “Appreciate it fully.” Then follows the “Conclusion” that it would be useless to cry “humbug,” for the above parties have volunteered to give their evidence for the benefit of the suffering and for no other purpose, and the whole ends with a friendly recommendation to “have no hesitancy in writing to the Doctor, and state to him your case in full, and he will deal honestly and promptly with you.”

The inconsistency of the conclusion is pretty refreshing. We can't say what benefit this troubled family would gain from reading the testimonials. So, through a dramatic buildup of eye-catching headlines and cures, we come to three final articles, titled, “In his mercy he saves the afflicted!”—“Read, ye afflicted”—and “Appreciate it fully.” Then comes the “Conclusion” stating that it would be pointless to shout “humbug,” because the people mentioned have volunteered to share their experiences to help the suffering and for no other reason, and it all wraps up with a friendly suggestion to “feel free to write to the Doctor, explain your situation fully, and he will respond honestly and promptly.”

Another very extensive dealer in advertisements, who also uses Harper’s columns considerably, is the proprietor of the Pain Paint. His works are humorous and entertaining, the following being a fair example:—

Another very large advertiser, who also heavily uses Harper’s columns, is the owner of Pain Paint. His work is funny and entertaining, with the following being a good example:—

MMy wife has an ulcer On her leg Thirteen years, Caused by different veins
Extending from her ankle to her knee.
Some places worn away To the core. I have hired Over twenty renowned doctors At great cost,
[592] But all attempts to cure
Completely failed Until I tried Wolcott’s Pain Paint,
What the doctors told me
Was nonsense.
But whether it's fake or not
It has completed the work. In under a month,
Relieving the pain
At initial application.
I kept her leg damp With PAIN PAINT always Until healed.
I wish we had more humbugs that were useful. As Dr. Wolcott's pain paint. I'm well-known in this city,
And anyone Can ask for more info
At 101 West Street, New York, At the Hanover House Which I own.
And I believe I can fulfill All for the benefit Created using PAIN PAINT.

May 12, 1868. PETER MINCK.

May 12, 1868. PETER MINCK.

There are many advertisements from Hamilton, Wolcott, and various other “professors” still before us, but with the foregoing we will conclude, and leave the curious to search the American journals for themselves. Those who like to take the trouble will find in them an inexhaustible mine of wealth. The reflection naturally arises in the minds of readers, that the Americans cannot, after all, be such a wonderfully smart nation, to allow an almost countless horde of quacks and impostors to batten on them, and to make large fortunes even in the face of the tremendous sums they have to pay for advertisements.

There are still many ads from Hamilton, Wolcott, and various other "experts" in front of us, but with the above, we'll wrap things up and let the curious explore the American journals on their own. Those who are willing to put in the effort will discover an endless source of valuable information. It naturally leads readers to think that Americans can't be as incredibly smart as they seem if they allow such a vast number of frauds and charlatans to thrive at their expense, making large fortunes even with the huge amounts they spend on advertisements.

Extensive as our Colonies are, and numerous and excellent as are the newspapers published in them, the advertisements of the present day may be said with justice to offer[593] no distinctive features whatever. With the exception of the names of streets and towns, the trade and other notices are just the same as appear in the home journals; and even the cries which now and again go up from the Australian papers for missing relatives are paralleled by similar advertisements constantly appearing in our own metropolis. We have, though, two or three quaint old specimens which have been lighted upon at rare intervals, and more because it would be unfair to pass over our extensive dependencies without mention than for any other reason we offer them to the consideration of the reader. The first is nearly eighty years old, and is copied verbatim from a Jamaica paper of the period:—

As extensive as our colonies are, and as numerous and high-quality as the newspapers published there are, today’s advertisements can honestly be said to have no distinct features at all. Aside from the names of streets and towns, the trade and other announcements are just like those found in the home journals; even the appeals from Australian papers looking for missing relatives are similar to advertisements regularly seen in our own metropolis. However, we do have two or three charming old examples that we've come across rarely, and it seems only fair to acknowledge our vast dependencies, so we present them for the reader's consideration. The first one is almost eighty years old and is taken verbatim from a Jamaica paper of the period:—

Kingston, March 7, 1795.

Kingston, March 7, 1795.

HALF-A-JOE REWARD.

Half a Joe Reward.

WALKED away, about a Month ago, a Negro Wench, named Prudence; she is of the Eboe Country, a yellow Complexion, round chubby Face, goggle or full Eyes, has lost several of her fore Teeth, is short, lively, and active, a great Thief, speaks quick and tolerable good English; is one of the black Parson Lisle’s Congregation; she is marked on both Shoulders and the left Cheek R. L.; had a Collar about her Neck, Chain and Lock, as a Punishment for her trying to entice a Man away the second Time; she is capable of very great Deception; she lards almost every Word with “plase God,” or some pious Expression, and will thieve at the same Time.

WALKED away about a month ago, a Black woman named Prudence; she’s from the Eboe country, has a yellow complexion, a round chubby face, and big eyes. She has lost several of her front teeth, is short, lively, and active, and is quite the thief. She speaks quickly and her English is fairly good; she’s part of Parson Lisle’s congregation. She has marks on both shoulders and her left cheek that say R. L.; she wore a collar around her neck with a chain and lock as punishment for trying to entice a man away a second time. She’s very deceitful; she peppers almost every word with “praise God” or some pious expression while she’s stealing at the same time.

It is likely she will endeavour to pass as free; she formerly belonged to Mary Roberts, and lately to Sarah Osborn; she has been twenty Years in the Town of Kingston, and about fourteen Months in the Country. When she left Kingston she secreted a Quantity of her Clothes with some of her Tribe; if gone there, she will be able to change her Dress. Is well acquainted in Spanish-town, and many other Parts of the Island; she possesses a great Share of the “holy Goggle,” that is, throwing up her Eyes, and calling upon everything that is sacred, even when stolen Goods have been found upon her. She lately ran away, and was taken up. Whoever apprehends her a second Time, and lodges her in any Workhouse or Gaol in this Island, shall be entitled to the above Reward, and all reasonable Charges, on Application to Linwood and Nicoll, Merchants, in Kingston; or the Subscriber, at Wakefield, in Cedar Valley, St. George’s.

It’s likely she will try to pass as free; she used to belong to Mary Roberts and more recently to Sarah Osborn. She has been in the town of Kingston for twenty years and in the country for about fourteen months. When she left Kingston, she hid some of her clothes with some people from her group; if she went there, she would be able to change her outfit. She knows Spanish Town very well, along with many other parts of the island; she often puts on a show of piety, dramatically raising her eyes and calling on everything sacred, even when stolen goods have been found with her. She recently ran away and was captured. Whoever catches her a second time and takes her to any workhouse or jail on this island will receive the reward mentioned above, plus any reasonable expenses, upon contacting Linwood and Nicoll, merchants in Kingston, or the subscriber at Wakefield, in Cedar Valley, St. George’s.

ROBERT LOOSELY.

ROBERT LOOSLEY.

[594]

[594]

N.B. All Masters of Vessels are hereby cautioned against carrying her off; and all Persons found harbouring her, will be prosecuted with the utmost Rigour of the Law.

N.B. All ship captains are warned not to take her away; and anyone found hiding her will face the full force of the law.

The next is of a considerably later time, being under date 1818, and comes from a different quarter of the globe. It refers to a raffle for women, and was published in a daily paper of Calcutta:—

The next is from a much later time, dated 1818, and comes from a different part of the world. It talks about a raffle for women and was published in a daily newspaper in Kolkata:—

FEMALES RAFFLED FOR.—Be it known, that Six Fair Pretty Young LADIES, with two sweet and engaging CHILDREN, lately imported from Europe, having roses of health blooming on their cheeks, and joy sparkling in their eyes, possessing amiable tempers and highly accomplished, whom the most indifferent cannot behold without expressions of rapture, are to be raffled for, next door to the British Gallery. Scheme: Twelve Tickets, at 12 rupees each; the highest of the three throws, doubtless, takes the most fascinating, &c. &c.

FEMALES RAFFLED FOR.—It’s important to announce that six beautiful young women, along with two charming children, recently brought over from Europe, with rosy cheeks and joyful eyes, kind personalities, and impressive talents, are set to be raffled next door to the British Gallery. Here’s the plan: Twelve tickets will be sold for 12 rupees each; the highest score in three rolls will undoubtedly win the most captivating prize, etc., etc.

Modern improvements have, after all, somewhat benefited the world. Who would dream nowadays of such a scheme having been publicly advertised in a British dominion less than sixty years since? And this was not by any means the latest of such speculations either, yet it will be news to many that, even at the date given, such transactions were openly conducted. The next, also from Calcutta, is half-a-dozen years later, and treats of quite another vanity of the owners of the soil:—

Modern advancements have, after all, somewhat benefited the world. Who would imagine today that such a scheme was publicly advertised in a British dominion less than sixty years ago? And this was by no means the latest of such ventures either; yet it will be news to many that, even at that time, such transactions were openly taking place. The next one, also from Calcutta, is six years later and addresses quite another vanity of the owners of the land:—

NOTICE.—Mr W. M‘Cleish begs to state to his friends and the public that he has received by the most recent arrivals the Prettiest Waistcoat Pieces that were ever seen: really it would be worth any gentleman’s while even to look at them. It surpasses his weak understanding, how man who is born of a woman and full of trouble, could invent such pretty things.

NNotice.—Mr W. M‘Cleish wants to let his friends and the public know that he’s received the most beautiful waistcoat fabrics ever seen: honestly, it’s worth any gentleman’s time just to check them out. He can't understand how someone who is only human and full of troubles could create such lovely things.

It strikes him forcibly that the patterns and texture must have been undoubtedly invented by some wise philosopher.

It hits him hard that the patterns and texture must have definitely been created by some wise philosopher.

Ladies, even though my shop is small, I hope you won’t be afraid,
I took off my coats; the first of the land can surely wear them; If they aren't well finished or have the best trimmings—
I will commit to eating backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.

No. 39, Cossitollah, Jan. 4, 1824.

No. 39, Cossitollah, Jan. 4, 1824.

[595]

[595]

Australia offers us, by means of the Sydney Gazette of August 1825, an advertisement worth perusal:—

Australia presents us, through the Sydney Gazette from August 1825, with an advertisement worth a glance:—

MRS BROWN respectfully thanks the community of thieves for relieving her from the fatigues and wearisomeness of keeping a chandler’s shop, by taking the following goods off her hands; viz.—35 yards of shirting, 12 do. of muslin, 40 do. of calico, and various articles, as the auctioneer terms it, “too many to mention in an advertisement.” But the gentlemen in their despatch of business forgot that they had taken along with them an infant’s paraphernalia, two dozen of clouts, so elegantly termed by washerwomen. If the professors of felony do not give a dinner to their pals, and convert them into d’oyleys for finger glasses, Mrs Brown will thank them to return them, as they would not be so unmagnanimous and deficient of honour to keep such bagatelles from a poor mother and four children. This is to apprize the receivers of stolen property, that she will sooner or later have the pleasure of seeing their necks stretched, and that they will receive a tight cravat under the gallows by their beloved friend Jack Ketch. As the old saying is “The better the day the better the deed,” the fraternity performed their operations on Sunday night last.

MRS BROWN sincerely thanks the community of thieves for relieving her from the struggles and exhaustion of running a candle shop by taking the following goods off her hands: 35 yards of shirting, 12 of muslin, 40 of calico, and various items, as the auctioneer would say, “too many to mention in an ad.” However, the gentlemen in their rush forgot to return an infant’s belongings, including two dozen of diaper cloths, which are so elegantly referred to by washerwomen. If the criminals don’t throw a dinner for their friends and turn them into doilies for finger bowls, Mrs. Brown would appreciate them returning these items, as they surely wouldn’t be so ungracious and dishonorable to keep such trifles from a struggling mother of four. This serves to inform those receiving stolen property that she will eventually be delighted to see justice served, and they will receive a tight noose around their necks from their dear friend Jack Ketch. As the old saying goes, “The better the day, the better the deed,” the gang carried out their activities last Sunday night.

17, Philip Street.

17 Philip St.

Another from the same source, though of somewhat later date, refers to a failing not at all peculiar to the ladies and gentlemen of Sydney, as most owners and collectors of books have doubtless discovered ere now to their cost:—

Another from the same source, although from a somewhat later date, mentions a shortcoming that isn’t unique to the ladies and gentlemen of Sydney, as most book owners and collectors have likely discovered by now to their price:—

IT is requested that those Ladies and Gentlemen who have, from time to time, borrowed books from Mr. S. Levy, will return them to the undersigned, who respectfully solicits all books now in possession of persons to whom they do not belong, to comply with the above—a fresh supply may be had. Among the number missing are the Pastor’s Fire Side, Tales of my Landlord, Kenilworth, Princess Charlotte, Secret Revenge, Smollett’s Works, Ivanhoe, Tales of the Times, Paradise Lost—so are the books until found by B. Levy. No. 72, George Street, Sydney.

IT is requested that those ladies and gentlemen who have borrowed books from Mr. S. Levy return them to the undersigned. I kindly ask everyone who has books that don't belong to them to do so—there will be new copies available. Among the missing titles are The Pastor’s Fire Side, Tales of My Landlord, Kenilworth, Princess Charlotte, Secret Revenge, Smollett’s Works, Ivanhoe, Tales of the Times, and Paradise Lost—these are the books until they are returned by B. Levy. 72 George Street, Sydney.

The solicitation to the books themselves “to comply with the above,” is no doubt an Australian figure by which, in order to avoid an obnoxious accusation against the borrowers, the books are supposed to be unwilling to return to the rightful owners. Between forty and fifty years ago it[596] would have been very unpleasant in Australia to imply that any one had a desire to take that which belonged to any one else with a view to its permanent detention.

The request to the books themselves “to comply with the above” is clearly an Australian expression where, to avoid a bad reputation for the borrowers, the books are seen as if they don't want to go back to their rightful owners. Forty to fifty years ago, it would have been quite uncomfortable in Australia to suggest that anyone wanted to take something that belonged to someone else with the intention of keeping it permanently.

As we have said, the advertisements of more modern times call for no particular mention, and the papers published in New South Wales and Victoria—excellent journals, some of them capitally illustrated, and all equal to anything at home—contain nothing in their columns of a kind different from what has been already given under some one or other of the various chapter heads of this volume. In Canada the contiguity of the States is now and again apparent in the advertisements; but after the full-flavoured samples of the latter, anything from the Dominion would seem poor indeed.

As we've mentioned, the ads from more recent times don't need specific attention, and the newspapers published in New South Wales and Victoria—great publications, some of them beautifully illustrated, all matching anything from home—don’t contain anything in their sections that hasn’t already been addressed under various chapter headings in this book. In Canada, the closeness to the States occasionally shows in the ads; however, compared to the rich examples from the latter, anything from the Dominion seems rather lacking.


[47] It is only fair to Americans in general, to state that the proprietor of this the most American of all American papers is an Englishman. At least, we are informed so by men who remember him in London.

[47] It's only fair to say that the owner of this most American of all American newspapers is actually an Englishman. At least, that's what people who remember him from London tell us.

[48] Andrew Smith.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Andrew Smith.

[49] Any one the coat fits.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ If the coat fits.

[50] Hezekiah Goddard, Sheriff’s Deputy.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Hezekiah Goddard, Deputy Sheriff.


[597]

[597]

CHAPTER 20.
ADVERSARIA.

During the progress of this book towards completion, we have now and again stumbled across something which would not consistently fit under any of the chapter heads in our plan, nor stand well by itself, and though at first rather puzzled what to do with these trifles, they have in the end accumulated sufficiently to form a chapter of varieties which will fitly conclude, and will doubtless prove neither dull nor uninteresting. In advertising there seems to be always something new springing up, and no sooner do we think we have discovered the last ingenious expedient of the man anxious to display his wares, or to tempt others to display theirs, than another and more novel plan for publicity arrests the attention, and makes its predecessor seem old-fashioned, if not obsolete. At the present moment the plan of an energetic Scotchman is the very latest thing in advertisements. Whether it will be considered a novelty six months hence, or whether it will be considered at all, it would be hard indeed to say, so it will perhaps be enough for us to give the plan to our readers, with the remark that after all the idea is not unlike that of the old newsletters to which reference has been made in an earlier portion of this work. The Scotchman’s notion is to substitute advertisements for the intelligence contained in the ancient letters, and thereby reap a rich reward. For sixpence he sells twenty-four sheets of letter-paper, on the outside of each of which is an embossed penny postage-stamp. He fills the[598] two inside pages with sixty advertisements, for which he charges one guinea each, leaving the first page for private correspondence, and the last page, to which the stamp is affixed, for the address. As the stamp will carry an ounce weight, another sheet of plain paper may be enclosed. He guarantees to the advertiser a circulation of five thousand copies. For the advertisements he receives £63, from which he pays five thousand stamps at one penny each—£20, 16s. 8d.—less received for copies sold (twenty-four for sixpence), £5, 4s. 2d.; total, £15, 12s. 6d., leaving the difference, £47, 7s. 6d., to cover the cost of paper and printing. It will be remembered by many that the plan of giving advertisement sheets away has been often tried—notably with metropolitan local newspapers, some of which at first thought to clear the whole of their expenses by means of the charge for notices, &c. It is remarkable, however, that these journals invariably did one of two things. They either got a price fixed on themselves, or died. It is hard to make advertisers believe that it is worth while paying for a notice in a paper which is itself not worth paying for, and no arguments as to increased circulation seem to have any effect.

DDuring the progress of this book towards completion, we have occasionally come across things that don’t quite fit under any of the chapter titles in our outline, nor can they stand alone. Initially, we were a bit puzzled about what to do with these bits, but they’ve piled up enough to create a chapter of various topics that will serve as a fitting conclusion and will likely be neither dull nor uninteresting. In advertising, there always seems to be something new emerging. Just when we think we’ve found the last clever trick employed by someone eager to showcase their products or entice others to show theirs, a new and innovative approach for publicity grabs attention, making the previous one seem outdated, if not obsolete. Currently, the idea from an energetic Scotsman is the latest trend in advertising. Whether it will be seen as a novelty in six months, or even at all, is hard to say, so it’s probably enough for us to share the idea with our readers, noting that it isn’t too different from the old newsletters we mentioned earlier in this book. The Scotsman’s concept is to replace the news in traditional letters with advertisements, thus aiming to generate a substantial profit. For sixpence, he sells twenty-four sheets of letter paper, each with an embossed penny postage stamp on the outside. He fills the two inside pages with sixty advertisements, charging one guinea each, while reserving the first page for private messages and the last page, to which the stamp is attached, for the address. Since the stamp can carry an ounce weight, an extra sheet of plain paper can be included. He guarantees advertisers a circulation of five thousand copies. For the ads, he collects £63, from which he spends £20, 16s. 8d. on five thousand stamps at one penny each—less £5, 4s. 2d. from the sale of the twenty-four copies for sixpence; this totals £15, 12s. 6d., leaving £47, 7s. 6d. to cover the cost of paper and printing. Many will recall that the strategy of giving away advertisement sheets has been attempted multiple times—most notably with local metropolitan newspapers, some of which initially thought they could cover all expenses through charges for ads, etc. However, it’s remarkable that these publications invariably ended up doing one of two things: they either assigned themselves a price or they ceased to exist. It’s tough to convince advertisers that it’s worthwhile to pay for an ad in a publication that isn’t worth paying for, and no amount of discussion about increased circulation seems to change that perception.

Parisian advertisements form an item worthy of attention here. Within the past few years a great change has taken place in the system of advertising as known in the capital of France—in fact, as known in all the chief towns of the empire, kingdom, republic—whichever our readers like best or consider the most correct word. Between twenty-five and thirty years ago advertisements were charged at very high rates in the Paris papers, and there were comparatively few of them. The proprietors of journals did not themselves deal with the advertisers, but farmed out their columns at so much a year to advertising establishments or agencies. This was both convenient for the papers and profitable for the agencies. The rates they fixed for advertising in some of the most prominent journals were—Presse, one franc per line for each insertion; Siècle, one franc fifty centimes per line[599] each insertion for four times, for ten times and upwards one franc per line, special notices three francs per line, editorial items five francs per line; Nation and Débats, four lines seventy-five centimes per line, advertisements above 150 lines fifty centimes per line, special notices two francs per line, editorial items three francs; Galignani’s Messenger, seventy-five centimes a line each time, one advertisement above 300 lines fifty centimes a line, editorial items three francs. Other papers were lower, some taking advertisements for from twenty-five to forty centimes, and charging from one franc to two francs a line for editorial items; but their circulation was very limited. What are called broadside advertisements were very frequent in Paris papers; they were very ugly affairs to the eye of an Englishman; set up in sprawling capitals, like a handbill, a single advertisement frequently covering half or the whole of a page of a newspaper. This style of advertisement obtains now, but under different principles. The Presse and the Siècle used to make more money than any of the other papers by means of advertisements; in the year 1847 the income of the Presse for its two advertising pages was 300,000 francs. The advertising of the Débats and Constitutionnel was also profitable.

Parisian advertisements are definitely worth mentioning here. In recent years, there’s been a significant shift in how advertising works in the capital of France—indeed, in all the major cities of the empire, kingdom, or republic, depending on what our readers prefer to call it. About twenty-five to thirty years ago, ads were charged at very high rates in Parisian newspapers, and there were relatively few of them. Journal owners didn’t directly handle advertisers; instead, they sold their ad space to advertising firms or agencies for an annual fee. This arrangement was both convenient for the newspapers and lucrative for the agencies. The rates set for advertising in some of the leading journals were—Presse, one franc per line for each insertion; Siècle, one franc fifty centimes per line for each of four insertions, dropping to one franc per line for ten or more, special notices for three francs per line, and editorial items for five francs per line; Nation and Débats, four lines at seventy-five centimes per line, ads beyond 150 lines at fifty centimes per line, special notices at two francs per line, and editorial items at three francs; Galignani’s Messenger, seventy-five centimes per line for each insertion, one ad over 300 lines at fifty centimes per line, and editorial items at three francs. Other papers charged less, with some taking ads for between twenty-five to forty centimes and charging from one franc to two francs per line for editorial items; however, their circulation was quite limited. What we now call broadside advertisements used to be very common in Paris papers; they looked quite awful to an English eye, often set in large, clunky letters like a handbill, with a single ad often taking up half or even a whole page of a newspaper. This style of advertising still exists today, but based on different principles. The Presse and Siècle used to earn more from ads than any other papers; in 1847, the Presse made 300,000 francs from its two advertising pages. The advertising revenue from Débats and Constitutionnel was also quite profitable.

Things have very considerably changed since then, and Parisian advertising may fairly be said to have become developed into a flourishing, though at the same time a very unique, system. The remark, “Show me the advertisements of a country, and I will tell you the character of its inhabitants,” is not yet current among the choice sayings of great men, yet it or something similar might well be said with regard to modern Parisian notifications. Perhaps in no country so much as in France are public announcements and advertisements so thoroughly characteristic of a people. An important law recently introduced compels all announcements fixed or displayed in public places to bear each a ten-centime stamp, and the Government reserves to itself[600] the right of alone using a perfectly white affiche. All posters, playbills, and placards unconnected with State matters must be printed on coloured paper, though a small portion may remain white. The Parisians are proverbially neat in everything but their personal habits; and ugly, gaunt, straggling hoardings like those of London are quite unknown to them. The principal vacant places in front of building ground are usually purchased by one of the principal Sociétés de Publicité. A large frame of wood and canvas is affixed to the hoarding and divided into a number of squares, which are painted a neutral tint. Then in all these squares different announcements are made in gay colours. When completed, the structure resembles the boards of advertisements placed in railway carriages and omnibuses, the scale of course being considerably larger. A well-executed painting of some country seat or park to let frequently figures in these spaces; and few stations are without some well-known and familiar advertisement, the French having like ourselves some firms which make it their business to be on every hoarding and in every paper. A large tailoring and drapery establishment which advertises as follows is perhaps the best known of any:—

Things have changed a lot since then, and Parisian advertising has developed into a thriving, yet very unique, system. The saying, “Show me the advertisements of a country, and I will tell you the character of its inhabitants,” isn’t widely recognized among the famous quotes, but it or something like it could definitely apply to modern Parisian ads. Perhaps nowhere else is public advertising so characteristic of the people as it is in France. A recent law requires all public announcements to carry a ten-centime stamp, and the Government reserves the right to use completely white posters exclusively. All other posters, playbills, and notices not related to State matters must be printed on colored paper, although a small section may remain white. Parisians are known for being neat in everything except their personal habits; the ugly, jagged billboards seen in London are totally absent here. The main vacant spots in front of building lots are usually purchased by one of the leading Advertising Companies. A large wooden and canvas frame is attached to the hoarding and divided into several squares, painted in a neutral color. These squares display various ads in bright colors. When finished, the structure looks similar to the advertisement boards found in train carriages and buses, but much larger. A nicely done painting of a country house or park available for rent often appears in these areas, and few stations lack a familiar advertisement, as French companies, like those in other countries, strive to be present on every billboard and in every publication. One well-known tailoring and fabric store advertises like this:—

MAISON DE LA RUE DE
PONT NEUF

MAISON DE LA RUE DE
PONT NEUF

HABILLEMENTS PR HOMMES ET ENFANTS
ON REND L’ARGENT DE TOUT ACHAT QUI À
CESSE DE PLAIRE

HABILLEMENTS PR HOMMES ET ENFANTS
ON REND L’ARGENT DE TOUT ACHAT QUI À
CESSE DE PLAIRE

LA MAISON N’EST PAS AU COIN
DU QUAI
.

THE HOUSE IS NOT ON THE CORNER
OF THE QUAY
.

This advertisement is so well known that recently a revue bearing the title “La Maison n’est pas au Coin du Quai” was played at a well-known theatre, and in the recent version of “Orphée aux Enfers” at the Gaîté, the “on rend l’argent” portion is made the peg for a joke by the Monarch of Hell. The following also persistently arrest[601] the attention of the traveller: “Au Bon Diable,” “Eau Melisse des Carmes,” “Chocolat Ibled,” and “Old England British Tailors.” The “Piano Quatuor” is also everywhere typified by the picture of a gentleman with hideous long fingers and pointed nails stretching over the strings of four violins.

This advertisement is so well-known that recently a revue titled “La Maison n’est pas au Coin du Quai” was performed at a popular theater, and in the latest version of “Orphée aux Enfers” at the Gaîté, the “on rend l’argent” part is used as the setup for a joke by the Monarch of Hell. The following also consistently catch the attention of travelers: “Au Bon Diable,” “Eau Melisse des Carmes,” “Chocolat Ibled,” and “Old England British Tailors.” The “Piano Quatuor” is also everywhere represented by the image of a man with grotesquely long fingers and pointed nails reaching over the strings of four violins.

The theatres usually display their programmes on large columns specially constructed for the purpose, which are fixed about every two hundred yards along the principal Boulevards. As these bills are renewed nearly every day, this department alone must be very remunerative to the Government. No playbills are sold in the theatres, but many of the daily journals publish the programmes of all; and three papers, the Vert-Vert, the Orchestra, and the Entr’acte, are specially printed to serve as bills of the play. One peculiar circumstance connected with theatrical advertisements is worthy of notice. In each of those places of public convenience known to Parisians as “Les Colonnes Rambuteau,” some mysterious individual has for years pasted a little piece of paper announcing the drama at the Ambigu Comique and the principal performers therein. Here is an exact copy of the one appearing during the month of June of the present year (1874):—

The theaters usually display their programs on large columns specifically built for this purpose, which are set up about every two hundred yards along the main boulevards. Since these announcements are updated almost every day, this aspect alone must be very profitable for the government. No playbills are sold at the theaters, but many daily newspapers publish the programs of all the shows; three publications, the Vert-Vert, the Orchestra, and the Entr’acte, are specifically printed to serve as playbills. One interesting detail about theatrical advertisements is worth mentioning. In each of those places of public convenience known to Parisians as “Les Colonnes Rambuteau,” some mysterious person has been pasting a small piece of paper for years, announcing the drama at the Ambigu Comique and the main performers involved. Here’s an exact copy of the one that appeared in June of this year (1874):—

anonymous announcement

Mm Vannoy Mont-bars et Md. Ribeaucourt
L’Amant de la Lune
drame en 7 tableaux de
Paul de Kock.
L’Ambigu Comique tous les soirs

Mm Vannoy Mont-bars and Md. Ribeaucourt
The Lover of the Moon
a drama in 7 scenes by
Paul de Kock.
L’Ambigu Comique every evening

For years some unknown person has thus maybe gratuitously advertised the house in question, and his identity is[602] one of the mysteries of Paris. Two well-known Parisian journalists, piqued by the eccentricity of the advertisement, lay in wait one whole night and day for the purpose of discovering its author, but their effort was fruitless. While on the subject of these colonnes, we may note the fact that their exteriors are covered with advertisements, the most conspicuous among them being the bill of fare of the “Dîner de Rocher,” a three-franc ordinary on the Boulevard Montmartre. The interior announcements are not of a nature for publication, and in that respect resemble kindred establishments this side the Channel. Next in importance to the hoardings and “spectacle” columns are the kiosques, in which the newspaper trade of Paris is chiefly carried on. The front is open, with the paper stall before it; but the remaining sides are of coloured glass, and each square contains an advertisement painted or stained upon it, generally in large letters. At night the light in the interior gives the kiosque a very gay and festive appearance. There are various minor methods of attracting public attention practised by the Parisian traders. The managers of the Louvre and Pygmalion, establishments similar to our Shoolbred’s and Meeking’s, give to each of their customers an air balloon with the name of the establishment from which it is issued painted upon it. Thousands of these are constantly bobbing about along the principal thoroughfares. The tickets given to seat occupiers in the public gardens and parks are beautifully illuminated cards covered with trade announcements. Some of the restaurants give each of their lady-customers a fan in summer, which is prettily ornamented with advertisements. At Duval’s famous eating establishments the backs of the bills of fare are sold for a large sum to advertising contractors. It is calculated that this firm issues 30,000 cartes a day. Space will not allow us to enumerate the further thousand-and-one plans—some sensible, some silly—which the Parisians adopt for attracting public attention; we therefore pass on to the last and most[603] important medium for advertisements—the Parisian newspapers. In French journals, as in some English, the réclame, or editorial puff, is eagerly sought after; and for unblushing effrontery in selling their pens to pushing tradesmen, we must yield the palm to our brother scribes across the water. “They order this matter better in France.” Only a short time since M. de Villemessant, the editor of Le Figaro, gave a delightful specimen of the art in his own columns. He commenced by relating the history of the Duke of Hamilton and the sheep’s wool left on the brambles. Then came a long description of the homes of the Highland shepherds, and their spinning wives. The English word “homespun” being thus introduced, the article wound up by advising les gentlemen français to rush to a certain shop in Paris where homespun was sold, and be measured for suits. A few days after the article had been published, its author was sauntering along the Boulevards clad in a homespun suit of the latest cut and pattern.

For years, some unknown person has maybe unwittingly marketed the house in question, and their identity is[602] one of the mysteries of Paris. Two well-known Parisian journalists, intrigued by the oddity of the ad, spent a whole night and day trying to figure out who wrote it, but their efforts were in vain. Speaking of these colonnes, it's worth noting that their exteriors are covered with ads, the most striking being the menu of the “Dîner de Rocher,” a three-franc eatery on Boulevard Montmartre. The interior announcements aren’t fit for publication and are similar to those of related establishments across the Channel. Next in importance to the billboards and “spectacle” columns are the kiosques, where most of Paris's newspaper business is done. The front is open with a stall for papers, but the sides are made of colored glass, and each square features an ad painted or stained on it, usually in bold letters. At night, the light inside makes the kiosque look lively and festive. There are various minor ways that Parisian traders grab public attention. The managers of the Louvre and Pygmalion, which are similar to our Shoolbred’s and Meeking’s, give each of their customers a balloon with the name of the place printed on it. Thousands of these are constantly floating around the main streets. The tickets given to people sitting in public gardens and parks are beautifully designed cards covered with ads. Some restaurants offer a fan to each of their female customers in the summer, which is attractively decorated with advertisements. At Duval’s famous eateries, the backs of the menus are sold for a hefty sum to advertisers. It's estimated that this establishment puts out 30,000 cartes a day. There isn’t enough space to list all the countless strategies—some smart, some foolish—that Parisians use to catch the public's eye; so we move on to the last and most significant outlet for ads—the Parisian newspapers. In French journals, as in some English ones, the réclame, or editorial puff piece, is highly sought after; and for sheer boldness in selling their pens to ambitious merchants, we have to admit that our fellow writers across the water take the cake. “They do this better in France.” Just recently, M. de Villemessant, the editor of Le Figaro, showcased this art in his own columns. He started by telling the story of the Duke of Hamilton and the sheep’s wool left on the thorns. Then he provided a lengthy description of Highland shepherds' homes and their wives who spin. With the English word “homespun” introduced, the article concluded by urging les gentlemen français to rush to a certain Paris shop that sold homespun and get fitted for suits. A few days after the article was published, its author was strolling along the Boulevards wearing a homespun suit of the latest style and design.

We present a choice specimen of the réclame cut from the pages of the Parisian gommeux’s favourite journal:—

We present a prime example of the advertisement taken from the pages of the Parisian fashionista's favorite magazine:—

Le Figaro n’oublie pas que son aïeul était coiffeur, aussi ne dédaigne-t-il pas de parler des chevaliers du démêloir, surtout lorsque ceux-ci se recommandent à l’attention du public par des qualités hors ligne.

Le Figaro doesn't forget that its ancestor was a barber, so it isn't shy about discussing the knights of the comb, especially when they stand out to the public with exceptional qualities.

Nos lecteurs du quartier de l’Arc-de-Triomphe, y compris les Ternes, l’avenue de l’Impératrice, Neuilly, etc., ne se doutent pas qu’ils possèdent dans leur voisinage, 47, avenue de la Grande-Armée, un expert en fait de coiffures de femmes et d’hommes... Il se nomme Rivals et n’en connait pas (pardon!) pour la dexterité du peigne et la légèreté du rasoir.

Nos lecteurs du quartier de l’Arc-de-Triomphe, y compris les Ternes, l’avenue de l’Impératrice, Neuilly, etc., ne se doutent pas qu’ils possèdent dans leur voisinage, 47, avenue de la Grande-Armée, un expert en fait de coiffures de femmes et d’hommes... Il se nomme Rivals et n’en connait pas (pardon!) pour la dexterité du peigne et la légèreté du rasoir.

Here is another of these exquisite specimens of artistry in puffing. It is from La Vie Parisienne of a short time back:—

Here is another one of these amazing examples of artistry in puffing. It is from La Vie Parisienne from not long ago:—

—Les voyageurs pour la ligne d’Italie montent en voiture.

—Travelers heading to Italy are getting into the car.

—Une minute, sac à papier! je n’ai pas pris mon café.

—One minute, paper bag! I didn’t grab my coffee.

—Un qui se croit encore au temps des diligence: le chemin de fer n’attend pas.

—Someone who still thinks they're living in the stagecoach era: the railroad doesn't wait.

[604]

[604]

—N’est-ce que cela, cher? monte dans mon compartiment, et tu n’auras pas à regretter la chicorée du buffet.

—Isn’t that so, darling? Come into my compartment, and you won't have to miss the buffets' chicory.

Le sifflet fait entendre son son strident. Nous voici partis! Nous avons tiré de son sac de voyage un flacon d’Essence de café Trablit. Il me fait un mazagran que je sirote avec autant de délices que si Tortoni l’eût préparé.

Le sifflet émet son son perçant. C’est parti ! Nous avons sorti de son sac de voyage une bouteille d’Essence de café Trablit. Il me fait un mazagran que je savoure avec autant de plaisir que si Tortoni l’avait préparé.

En crème, a l’eau, au lait, en grog, l’Essence de café Trablit est chose exquise. Recommandée aux voyageuses, dans leur intérêt. 1 fr. 60 le flacon (67, rue Jean-Jacques-Rousseau).

En crème, à l’eau, au lait, en grog, l’Essence de café Trablit est délicieuse. Recommandée aux femmes en voyage, pour leur bien-être. 1,60 € le flacon (67, rue Jean-Jacques-Rousseau).

Besides writing up the goods of energetic and aspiring tradesmen, the French journalist is frequently employed by a third or fourth rate actress to write her into notoriety. To do this he carefully avoids any mention of her histrionic abilities; but whenever he gets an opportunity, he describes her dresses, her equipage, her petits soupers, and occasionally places in her mouth some clever repartee or daring joke. Once in vogue, a lady of this kind has obtained the object of her ambition, and many a queen of the demi-monde owes her success in the realms of guilty splendour to the constant puffing of some hireling scribe. Hireling though he be, the scribe is also an artist, and his work bears an immeasurably favourable comparison with that of his clumsy English rival; for he has rivals in England, and réclames are finding their way rapidly into the most pretentious of our papers. Hitherto they have succeeded in deceiving none so much as their waiters and those who pay for them; but there is yet hope. Occasionally the French réclame mania is worked up into a good joke, as in the following:—

Besides promoting the talents of energetic and ambitious tradespeople, the French journalist is often hired by a second or third-rate actress to help her gain fame. To achieve this, he carefully avoids mentioning her acting skills; instead, he focuses on her dresses, her luxurious lifestyle, her dinner parties, and sometimes gives her some witty lines or bold jokes to say. Once she becomes popular, this type of woman has reached her goal, and many a socialite owes her success in the world of glamorous excess to the relentless publicity from some hired writer. Even though he may be a hireling, the writer is also an artist, and his work is immensely better compared to that of his clumsy English counterparts; after all, he does have competitors in England, and advertisements are quickly making their way into even the most prestigious of our newspapers. So far, these ads have mostly fooled only the waiters and those who pay for them; however, there’s still hope. Sometimes, the French advertisement craze turns into good humor, as illustrated in the following:—

Une maison de blanc portant pour enseigne: Au bon petit Jésus, avait pour caissier un affreux gredin qui disparaît un jour avec la grenouille tout entière.

Une maison de blanc avec pour enseigne : Au bon petit Jésus, avait pour caissier un méchant escroc qui disparaît un jour avec toute la grenouille.

Tous les journaux sont pleins du vol commis au Bon petit Jésus.

Tous les journaux sont pleins du vol commis au Bon petit Jésus.

Le patron court affolé et met la main sur son employé au moment où celui-ci prenait tardivement le chemin de fer. Il lui saute au collet:

Le patron court désespérément et attrape son employé au moment où celui-ci monte dans le train. Il lui saute au cou :

—Miserable! tu m’as ruiné!

—Miserable! You’ve ruined me!

L’autre répond, sans s’émouvoir:

The other responds, unfazed:

—Oui, monsieur... mais quelle réclame pour la maison!

—Yes, sir... but what an advertisement for the house!

[605]

[605]

Sometimes the advertisement is given in an indirect manner: thus the public read the following in the day’s paper:—

Sometimes the advertisement is presented in a subtle way: so the public reads the following in the day's paper:—

Un détail amusant.

A fun detail.

Sur le rideau d’annonces des Bouffes on peut lire ce qui suit:

Sur le rideau d’annonces des Bouffes on peut lire ce qui suit:

Mesdames, souvenez-vous que les vieilles robes et les ameublements fanés teints par la maison X... sont plus beaux que neufs!

Ladies, remember that old dresses and faded furnishings dyed by house X... are more beautiful than new ones!

Comme c’est bien en situation!

How great it is in context!

The next time the reader goes to the theatre the advertisement alluded to catches his eye, and the address is fixed in his memory.

The next time the reader goes to the theater, the advertisement mentioned catches his eye, and the address sticks in his memory.

The réclame is at present an important feature of French journalism. It generally pays all parties concerned in its manufacture, and its existence is therefore likely to continue for long. The reader has only to pick up Le Gaulois, Le Figaro, or any of the Parisian lighter papers, and he will be enabled to see for himself to what an extent commerce has infected the Gallic press.

The advertisement is currently an important aspect of French journalism. It typically funds all parties involved in its creation, so its presence will likely endure for a long time. The reader just needs to pick up Le Gaulois, Le Figaro, or any of the lighter Parisian papers to see how much commerce has influenced the French press.

Turning from the réclames to the advertisements proper, we find there are five distinct specimens of the latter, so far as style is concerned. Each one of these has its modifications, but the following samples will be found very near the mark. The first will serve a double purpose, as it seems to point out that despite the ridicule cast on English costumes by Parisian satirists, there are not a few who wear them, though they have every opportunity of appearing in the Frenchest of French fashions:—

Turning from the réclames to the actual advertisements, we see that there are five distinct examples of the latter, at least in terms of style. Each one has its variations, but the following samples will be very close to the mark. The first serves a dual purpose, as it indicates that despite the mockery directed at English clothing by Parisian satirists, there are plenty of people who wear them, even though they have every chance to show off in the most French styles:—

PANTALONS ANGLAIS

ENGLISH PANTS

FAITS SUR MESURE: 19 fr 50

CUSTOMIZED FACTS: 19 of 50

OLD ENGLAND

OLD ENGLAND

35, boulevard des Capucines.

35 Boulevard des Capucines.

[606]

[606]

The second specimen is intended for the ladies, who may believe what they like of the statement made about its salutary action, and its adding to the natural beauty:—

The second sample is made for the ladies, who can think whatever they want about the claims regarding its health benefits and its contribution to natural beauty:—

La Veloutine

The Veloutine

est une poudre de Riz spéciale
préparée au bismuth,
par conséquent
d’une action salutaire sur la peau.
Elle est adhérente et invisible,
aussi donne-t-elle au teint
une fraîcheur et une beauté naturelles.
Ch. FAY, inventeur, 9, rue de la Paix.

is a special rice powder
prepared with bismuth,
therefore
it has a beneficial effect on the skin.
It is adherent and invisible,
and also gives the complexion
a natural freshness and beauty.
Ch. FAY, inventor, 9, rue de la Paix.

Our third refers to something which has been fashionable as long as there has been such a thing as fashion, and which is likely to continue till la mode itself has an end:—

Our third refers to something that has been trendy for as long as fashion has existed and will probably keep going until la mode itself comes to an end:—

MARIAGES
DEMANDEZ LE
TRAIT D’UNION
RÉPERTOIRE COMPLET ET DISCRET DES
DEMANDES ET PROPOSITIONS
DE TOUS PAYS, ADRESSÉES A
M. et à Mme ROULARD, 72, rue de Rivoli.

WEDDINGS
ASK FOR THE
HYPHEN
COMPLETE AND DISCREET DIRECTORY OF
REQUESTS AND OFFERS
FROM ALL COUNTRIES, ADDRESSED TO
Mr. and Mrs. Roulard, 72 Rue de Rivoli.


DOTS DEPUIS 10,000 FR.
Jusqu’aux plus grandes fortunes.
(Timbres pour réponse.)

DOTS SINCE 10,000 BC.
Up to the largest fortunes.
(Reply stamps.)

[607]

[607]

Our fourth selection refers to a stomachic which is rather fashionable just now:—

Our fourth selection refers to a stomach remedy that is quite popular right now:—

Saint Raphaël, vin fortifiant, digestif, Tonique reconstituant, goût excellent, plus efficace, pour les personnes affaiblies, que les ferrugineux, que les quinas. Prescrit dans les fatigues d’estomac, la chlorose, l’anémie, les convalescences. Dose: un demi-verre à bordeaux après les repas.—Principales pharmacies 3 fr. la bouteille.

Saint Raphaël, a fortifying wine, digestif, and restorative tonic, has an excellent taste and is more effective for weakened individuals than iron supplements or quinine. It's recommended for stomach fatigue, chlorosis, anemia, and recovery periods. Dosage: half a glass of Bordeaux after meals. — Main pharmacies sell it for 3 francs per bottle.

And our fifth is the following:—

And our fifth is the following:

advertisement

AVIS AUX DAMES

NOTICE TO LADIES

A LA MAGICIENNE 129, RUE MONTMARTRE.

A LA MAGICIENNE 129, MONTMARTRE STREET.

La plus grande spécialité pour Dames. 20,000 Confections à choisir.

La plus grande spécialité pour Dames. 20,000 Confections à choisir.

2,000 Collets cachemire, ornés soie et guipure, à 12F.

2,000 Cashmere collars, adorned with silk and lace, at 12F.

1,500 Jacquettes cachemire, ornées faye et guipure, à 15F.

1,500 cashmere jackets, decorated with lace and embroidery, at 15F.

800 Tuniques cachemire, ornées guipure, valant 50 fr., à 25F.

800 Cashmere tunics, adorned with lace, priced at 50 fr., at 25F

1,000 Fichus Marie-Antoinette, ornés passementerie et guipre 29F.

1,000 Fichus Marie-Antoinette, decorated with passementerie and guipre 29F.

500 Dolmans cachemire, tout brodés, garnis guipure, à 45F.

500 Cashmere Dolmans, all embroidered, trimmed with lace, at 45°F

2,500 Dolmans fantaisie, brodés toutes nuances, à 17F.

2,500 fancy Dolmans, embroidered in all shades, at 17F.

1,000 Robes fantaisie, modèles nouveaux, à 39F.

1,000 Fancy Robes, new styles, at 39F.

Tous les Costumes et Confections sur mesure au même prix.

All the Costumes and Tailored Outfits at the same price.

Les Magasins sont ouverts les Dimanches et jours de Fêtes.

Stores are open on Sundays and holidays.

A LA MAGICIENNE 129, RUE MONTMARTRE.

A LA MAGICIAN 129, RUE MONTMARTRE.

An ingenious method of obtaining notoriety, and one which has paid pretty well recently over some theatrical matters in this country, is to fall foul of the official censor. The announcement that “la Censure a interdit ‘Palotte’[608] dans les gares” has caused “Palotte,” a rather dirty novel, to be an immense success. Why it should be forbidden in the railway stations, and allowed everywhere else, we are not sufficiently behind the scenes to say.

An clever way to gain attention, which has recently been quite profitable in some theater scenes in this country, is to clash with the official censor. The news that “the Censor has banned ‘Palotte’[608] in train stations” has made “Palotte,” a pretty risqué novel, a huge success. We can’t quite figure out why it’s banned in train stations but allowed everywhere else.

We have now glanced hastily at the leading aspects of French advertising, and after remarking that Galignani and the Gazette des Etrangers are the great mediums for English and American advertisements in Paris, that a certain American manager who has a theatre in London advertises it and his angular histrionic wonder regularly in the former, and that the principal advertising contractors of Paris have made vast fortunes, we get fairly back to our original remark, that the whole system of advertising in Paris is characteristic of the Parisians—a strange mixture of neatness, effect, frivolity, and childishness. Who shall deny that these four words suit the character of the great mass of the people? The fact that the authorities reserve to themselves the white affiche is characteristic to a degree of French Governments, and the savage attack which the French journals made upon the letters of apartments, because their poor little notices “Chambre à louer” were exempted from the ten-centimes tax, was a fair specimen of the frivolous and vexatious spirit which animates the children of la Grande Nation. For their neatness they are proverbial; and any one walking through the streets of Paris cannot fail to notice the admirable order in which the various stations are kept. No rain-soaked bills peeling off, no mud-plashed announcements of pieces which have been withdrawn for weeks—all is neat and fresh, and corrected to date. The gay colours of the posters, the many-tinted sides of the kiosques, the illuminated “spectacle” columns, the gilt-lettered balconies, the quaint gas devices, and the thousand-and-one pretty and ingenious ideas which are pressed into the service of the modern goddess Publicity, are all items in one lovely and harmonious whole, the most beautiful and the best-arranged city of modern times, Paris. We can teach[609] France many things, probably she can teach us one certainly—which is, that art, even genius, may be successfully applied to such a very small pursuit as that of advertising.

We have quickly looked at the key aspects of French advertising. Notably, Galignani and the Gazette des Etrangers are the primary platforms for English and American ads in Paris. An American theater manager who runs a theater in London frequently promotes it and his quirky talent in the former publication, and the main advertising agencies in Paris have built huge fortunes. We return to our initial point that the entire advertising system in Paris reflects the character of Parisians—a curious blend of neatness, impact, frivolity, and childishness. Who can deny that these four words describe a large portion of the population? The fact that the authorities reserve the white affiche is quite indicative of French government practices, and the harsh criticism from French newspapers regarding apartment listings, simply because their little “Chambre à louer” notices were exempt from the ten-centimes tax, is a perfect example of the trivial and annoying spirit that drives the people of la Grande Nation. They are known for their neatness; anyone walking through the streets of Paris can hardly miss the excellent order of the various kiosks. There are no rain-soaked posters peeling off or muddy ads for shows that have been canceled for weeks—everything is tidy and fresh, updated to the current date. The bright colors of the posters, the multi-hued kiosks, the illuminated “spectacle” columns, the gilded balconies, the quirky gas lights, and a million delightful and clever ideas all come together in service of the modern goddess of Publicity, creating one beautiful and harmonious ensemble—the most beautiful and well-organized city of modern times, Paris. We might be able to teach France many things, but she can certainly teach us one thing—how art, even genius, can be effectively applied to something as seemingly small as advertising.

The consideration of réclames, which are now regarded as so essentially French, has reminded us, not alone that they were fashionable, though under a humbler name, in this country many, many years ago, as we have already shown, but that they are again coming into fashion. But the “puff-pars” of old England—which may fairly be represented by those which emanated from the establishment of Rowland, the Kalydor man, in his palmy days of advertising—were always clumsy when compared with those réclames we have been studying, it being impossible, apparently, to make a British advertiser understand that an advertisement is more valuable in proportion as it looks less like what it really is. The cloven foot always shows forth under the wrapper of fine words; and when we say this, we do not refer to the paragraphs written in odonto or ointment establishments by young men at a pound a week, who are bound to put so many hard words in a line, and keep their productions within the compass of so many lines, whether syntax is agreeable or not; but to the friendly and more able notices which now and again find their way into some daily and weekly papers. The réclame, in its best form, is a highly-cultivated flower—an exotic, in fact—and is at present a little over the heads of the advertising public, who like to see plenty for money.

The consideration of ads, which are now seen as distinctly French, has reminded us that they were once trendy, though under a simpler name, in this country many years ago, as we've already shown, but they are making a comeback. However, the “puff pieces” of old England—which can fairly be represented by those from Rowland, the Kalydor guy, during his heyday of advertising—were always awkward compared to the ads we’ve been studying. It seems impossible for a British advertiser to grasp that an ad is more effective the less it looks like what it really is. The underlying message always reveals itself beneath a layer of fancy words; and when we say this, we’re not referring to the paragraphs written in toothpaste or ointment companies by young men earning a pound a week, who are forced to cram a certain number of big words into a line and keep their pieces within a set line limit, grammar be damned; but to the friendly and more skillful notices that occasionally appear in some daily and weekly papers. The ad, in its best form, is a finely cultivated flower—an exotic, in fact—and is currently a bit beyond the grasp of the advertising public, who prefer to see a lot for their money.

One paragraph which approaches much nearer the true réclame than most attempts, we stumbled across the other day. It is an attempt to convey to a wondering world how Perry Davis’s Pain Killer came to be used both internally and externally. By it we find that much internal discomfiture had been destroyed by the specific, when one day, in conducting some scientific exploration, its patentee became sadly burned. In his agony he threw the contents of the nearest bottle—which happened to contain Pain Killer—over[610] the injured parts, and as much to his surprise as satisfaction, he became in a short time perfectly cured. Of a rather more ambitious kind is an attempt made by Messrs Piesse and Lubin in the same direction. It is quite unique, and deserves a place here. At all events we came upon it in a fashionable morning paper, and read some little way before noticing that we were deep in an advertisement:—

We came across a paragraph that gets much closer to the true advertisement than most efforts. It tries to explain to a curious world how Perry Davis’s Pain Killer was used both internally and externally. It reveals that a lot of internal discomfort was relieved by this remedy when, one day, during a scientific experiment, its inventor got seriously burned. In his pain, he poured the contents of the nearest bottle—which happened to be Pain Killer—over the injured areas, and to his surprise and relief, he was completely healed in a short time. Another, even more ambitious attempt comes from Messrs Piesse and Lubin. It's quite unique and deserves to be mentioned here. We found it in a trendy morning paper and read for a while before realizing we were deep into an ad:—

On Tuesday evening Countess Wallflower resumed her usual assemblies after the recess, at her residence in the Laboratory of Flowers. Among the members of the diplomatic corps present were the Ambassadors from the principal Gardens of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, Muskrosa Bey, from the Hanging Garden of Persia, Mdlles. Muskrosabud, Otto Rose, Ambassador from the Balkan and Adrionople Flower Farms, the Countess Hoya Bella, Madame Mignionette, Magnolia Fulgans, the Florida Ambassador, the Countess Flagrant Orchids, the Italian Minister, the Countess Bergamotte, Mdlle. Neroli the Mexican Minister and the Marchioness de Vanille, the Brazilian Minister and the Odorous Opoponax. The general circle comprised, among others, the Princesses Jessamine, Violet, Tuberose, the Viscount Stephanotis, and the Marchioness of May Blossom. Previous to the assembly the Countess and the Right Hon. Sir Scented Stock received at dinner the Duke of Frangipanni and a select party. The company separated by midnight, and rose in the morning more fragrant than ever.

On Tuesday evening, Countess Wallflower hosted her usual gatherings again after the break at her home in the Laboratory of Flowers. Among the diplomats attending were the Ambassadors from the major Gardens of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, including Muskrosa Bey from the Hanging Garden of Persia, Mdlles. Muskrosabud, Otto Rose, Ambassador from the Balkan and Adrionople Flower Farms, Countess Hoya Bella, Madame Mignionette, Magnolia Fulgans, the Florida Ambassador, Countess Flagrant Orchids, the Italian Minister, Countess Bergamotte, Mdlle. Neroli, the Mexican Minister, and Marchioness de Vanille, the Brazilian Minister, along with Odorous Opoponax. The general group also included Princesses Jessamine, Violet, Tuberose, Viscount Stephanotis, and the Marchioness of May Blossom. Before the assembly, the Countess and the Right Hon. Sir Scented Stock had dinner with the Duke of Frangipanni and a select group. The gathering broke up by midnight, leaving everyone feeling more fragrant than ever the next morning.

It may be as well to mention here that Messrs Piesse and Lubin claim to be the originators of the enigmatical form of advertising. It was they who started the “Opoponax” mystery, which aroused public curiosity at the time, and has been considerably imitated since. Localities are sometimes used in advertisements as typifying the quality of the articles advertised; Mayfair Sherry is the chief representative of this class, and we suppose that the district is named as evidence of high tone and elegant bottling. Still another kind of advertising is that adopted by Brinsmead, who seems to be a regular champion among pianoforte-makers, and who makes curious little extracts bracketed opposite the names of papers and celebrities that give him[611] testimonials, throughout a long newspaper column, all about his patent check repeater-action gold medal pianofortes. Sir Julius Benedict, the Examiner, Brinley Richards, the Standard, and Sydney Smith are among many other men and papers quoted. We are not aware who Sydney Smith may be nowadays, but should hardly think the great wit and essayist who died thirty years ago could have known enough about Brinsmead’s pianos to enable him to say “their touch is absolute perfection.”

It’s worth noting that Messrs. Piesse and Lubin claim to be the creators of the mysterious style of advertising. They were the ones who launched the “Opoponax” mystery, which sparked public interest at the time and has been widely copied since. Locations are sometimes referenced in advertisements to symbolize the quality of the products being promoted; Mayfair Sherry is the prime example of this category, and we assume that the area is mentioned to signify sophistication and elegant packaging. Another type of advertising is used by Brinsmead, who appears to be a leading figure among piano manufacturers. He includes intriguing little excerpts next to the names of papers and celebrities that endorse him[611] in a lengthy newspaper column, all related to his award-winning check repeater-action gold medal pianos. Sir Julius Benedict, the Examiner, Brinley Richards, the Standard, and Sydney Smith are just a few of the many individuals and publications referenced. We aren’t sure who Sydney Smith is today, but it’s unlikely that the great wit and essayist who passed away thirty years ago could have known enough about Brinsmead’s pianos to say “their touch is absolute perfection.”

Notwithstanding all that has been written and said about the value of newspaper notices as distinguished from advertisements, there is no reasonable room for doubt that a representative of the general advertising class would far sooner see his shop paraded in a pantomime, or hear himself referred to by a low comedian, than be recipient of really valuable attention at the hands of a newspaper writer. There are, of course, exceptions, and these reap the reward their rivals despise. The elder Mathews was a victim to the rather illogical rage for that phase of theatrical advertisement to which we have just referred. Amongst the extraordinary effects of his popularity, were applications made under every kind of pretext, letters being sent to him from all sorts of professors and tradesmen about town. One man offered him snuff for himself and friends for ever, if he would only mention the name and shop of the manufacturer. Another promised him a perpetual polish for his boots upon the same terms. He was solicited to mention every sort of exhibition, and to puff all the new quack medicines. The wines sent to him to taste, though alleged to be of the finest quality, nevertheless required “a bush,” which was to be hung out nightly at his “house of entertainment.” Patent filters, wigs and waistcoats, boots and boothooks, “ventilating hats” and “bosom friends,” all gifts, used to stock Mathews’s lumber-room. An advertising dentist one day presented himself, offering to find Mathews’s whole family in new teeth, and draw all the old, if[612] the comedian would only in return draw the new patent mineral masticators into notice. In fact, Mathews was so inundated with presents, that his cottage sometimes looked like a bazaar, and his wife had frequently occasion to exercise her ingenuity in contriving how to dispose of the generally useless articles forced upon their acceptance.

Despite everything that's been said and written about the difference between newspaper announcements and ads, it’s pretty clear that someone in the advertising world would much rather see their store featured in a skit or hear a comedian mention them than actually get valuable exposure from a newspaper writer. Of course, there are exceptions, and those who take the time to engage earn rewards that their competitors scoff at. The older Mathews was swept up in the somewhat irrational trend of theatrical advertising we just mentioned. Because of his fame, he received requests under all sorts of pretenses, with letters coming from various professors and local merchants. One man offered him unlimited snuff for himself and his friends if he would just mention the manufacturer’s name and shop. Another promised him a lifetime supply of boot polish under the same condition. He was asked to promote all kinds of events and endorse all the latest fad medicines. The wines he was sent to sample, even though they were claimed to be top-notch, still needed “a bush,” which was meant to be displayed every night at his “entertainment venue.” His storeroom became a treasure chest of gifts, filled with patent filters, wigs, vests, boots, and "ventilating hats," all of which were cluttering up his space. One day, an advertising dentist showed up, offering to provide new teeth for Mathews and his entire family in exchange for promoting his new patent mineral masticators. Mathews was so overwhelmed with gifts that his house often resembled a market stall, and his wife frequently had to get creative in figuring out what to do with the mostly useless items thrust upon them.

Though this was a great many years ago, things remain much the same, and such popular entertainers as Fred Maccabe, and patterers as J. L. Toole, could doubtless sell themselves for large sums in the interests of vocal advertising. Managers invariably avail themselves of the opportunity whenever a chance occurs, as it does now and again in realistic drama, and very frequently in pantomime. Actors are, though, not alone the admiration of the advertiser—they are by no means above making a shrewd bid for popularity themselves by means of the papers. It is not so very long ago that a tragedian, more distinguished in the provinces than in London, and anxious to meet that metropolitan recognition which he felt sure he deserved, gave a small récherché banquet to his early friends at a well-known house near Lincoln’s-Inn Fields. Those who were invited must have felt very much like Mr Twemlow used whenever he visited the Veneerings, and those who were in a condition to think when they came away must have felt puzzled to account for the fact that all Mr ——’s early friends had taken to the dramatic-critic, the leader-writer, or the editor line of business—all but one, a kind of literary tradesman, who, however, possibly paid his half for the privilege of being admitted into such splendid society on equal terms, and who had, moreover, made out the list of diners, written the invitations, and maybe provided some of the clean linen. We tell the story as it was told us by two of the invited early friends, who added, that until the night of the dinner they had never seen Mr —— off the stage.

Though this was many years ago, things are still quite similar, and popular entertainers like Fred Maccabe and comedians like J. L. Toole could definitely sell themselves for a lot of money through vocal advertising. Managers always take the opportunity whenever it arises, which happens now and then in realistic dramas and very often in pantomimes. However, actors aren't the only ones admired by advertisers—they also make clever moves to gain popularity through newspapers. Not too long ago, a tragic actor, more famous in the provinces than in London and eager to gain the metropolitan recognition he believed he deserved, hosted a small, fancy dinner for his early friends at a well-known venue near Lincoln’s Inn Fields. Those who were invited must have felt much like Mr. Twemlow whenever he visited the Veneerings, and those who were able to think while leaving must have been puzzled to realize that all of Mr. —’s early friends had turned into dramatic critics, columnists, or editors—all except one, a sort of literary tradesman who probably paid his share to be included in such an illustrious gathering on equal footing and likely made the guest list, wrote the invitations, and perhaps even provided some of the clean tablecloths. We share the story as it was told to us by two of the invited early friends, who added that until the night of the dinner they had never seen Mr. — off the stage.

Taking a long stride from London to a Chinese seaport,[613] we come upon this choice sample of Flowery Land English:—

Taking a long stride from London to a Chinese seaport,[613] we come upon this great example of Flowery Land English:—

chinese advert

‮祥泰隆記‬

‮Xiang Tai Long Ji‬


Chong thie Loong kee.

Chong the Loong key.

Most humbly beg leave to acqu
: aint the Gentlemen trading to
this kort that the above mention
: ed chop has been long established
dnd is much esteemed for its Black
and young Hyson Tea but fearing
the foreigners might be cheated by tho
: se shumeless persons who forged this
chop he therefore take the liberty to
pallish these few lines for its
remark and trust.

Most humbly request permission to inform the gentlemen trading at this court that the above-mentioned shop has been long established and is well-regarded for its Black and Young Hyson tea. However, fearing that foreigners might be deceived by those shameless individuals who forged this shop, I take the liberty to publish these few lines for its remark and trust.

To those who are interested in a peculiarity of advertising unknown in this country, we present the following from the Berlinische Zeitung:—

To those who are curious about a unique aspect of advertising that isn't known in this country, we offer the following from the Berlinische Newspaper:—

Verlobungen.

Engagements.

Als Verlobte empfehlen sich

As fiancées recommend themselves

Minna Bock,
Fritz Engelhardt.

Minna Bock,
Fritz Engelhardt.

Berlin, den 13. März 1872.

Berlin, March 13, 1872.

[614]

[614]

Which informs us, under the head of Betrothal, that Minna Bock and Fritz Engelhardt beg to announce their betrothal, with compliments. The date is plain. Another announcement in the same paper, and under the same head, is this:—

Which informs us, under the section of Betrothal, that Minna Bock and Fritz Engelhardt would like to announce their engagement, with compliments. The date is clear. Another announcement in the same paper, and under the same section, is this:—

Die Verlobung unserer ältesten Tochter Margarethe mit dem kaiserlichen Post-Inspektor Herrn Richard Raab in Magdeburg beehren wir uns ergebenst anzuzeigen.

We are excited to announce the engagement of our oldest daughter Margarethe to the imperial postal inspector Mr. Richard Raab in Magdeburg.

Stendal, im März 1872.

Stendal, March 1872.

Dr. Goldscheider nebst Frau.

Dr. Goldscheider and Mrs.

Margarethe Goldscheider,
Richard Raab,
Verlobte.
Stendal und Magdeburg.

Margarethe Goldscheider,
Richard Raab,
Engaged.
Stendal and Magdeburg.

Which means that Dr Goldscheider and his wife do themselves the honour of most humbly announcing the betrothal of their eldest daughter, Margaret, to Herr Richard Raab, of Magdeburg, Inspector of the Imperial Post. Then follow the signatures of bride and groom, and the whole winds up with the happy conjunction of the two towns, Stendal and Magdeburg.

Which means that Dr. Goldscheider and his wife are pleased to announce the engagement of their eldest daughter, Margaret, to Herr Richard Raab, of Magdeburg, Inspector of the Imperial Post. Then follow the signatures of the bride and groom, and it all concludes with the joyful joining of the two towns, Stendal and Magdeburg.

From the Journal do Commercio of Rio de Janeiro, April 4, 1872, we take the following:—

From the Journal do Commercio of Rio de Janeiro, April 4, 1872, we take the following:—

fugitive

Fugio da rua da Alfandega n. 297 o preto Mariano, crioulo, estatura regular, rosto compride, pouca barba, com falta de dentes na frente, tem uma fistula debaixo do queixo, costuma trocar o nome, des-confia-se que fosse para os lados de Nitherohy e tem signaes de ser surrado nas costas; quem o apprehender e levar á rua e numero acima ser á gratificado, e protesta-se contra quem o tiver acoutado.

Fugitive from Rua da Alfandega No. 297, the Black man Mariano, a Creole, of average height, with a long face, little facial hair, missing front teeth, has a fistula under his chin, often changes his name, suspected to have come from the area of Nitherohy, and shows signs of having been beaten on his back; anyone who captures him and brings him to the street and number above will be rewarded, and there's a protest against anyone who might have sheltered him.

Credulous persons, who believe that with the cessation of the war between the Northern and Southern States of America slavery went right out of existence, except amongst the most barbarous nations, may be astonished to discover that the foregoing, when turned into English, reads thus:—“Ran away from 297 Alfandega Street, the[615] negro Mariano, a half-caste of ordinary stature, long visage, slight beard, has lost some front teeth, and has an ulcer in the lower jaw. He is accustomed to change his name, and is believed to be in the outskirts of Nitherohy. He has marks of flogging on his back. Whoever captures him, and brings him to the above address, will be rewarded, and persons are hereby cautioned against harbouring him.”

Credulous people, who think that when the war between the Northern and Southern States of America ended, slavery disappeared completely, except in the most barbaric nations, may be shocked to find out that the previous text translates to:—“Ran away from 297 Alfandega Street, the[615] black man Mariano, a mixed-race person of average height, long face, and light beard, has lost some front teeth and has an ulcer in his lower jaw. He often changes his name and is believed to be in the outskirts of Nitherohy. He has marks from flogging on his back. Anyone who captures him and brings him to the above address will be rewarded, and people are warned against hiding him.”

From the same paper we extract another announcement:—

From the same paper, we take out another announcement:—

advert

Antonio Luiz Fernandes da Cunha e sua mulher D. Manoela Pereira Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha e sua mulher D. Balbina Alves Pereira da Cunha, convidão ás pessoas de sua amizade para acompanhar o enterro de seu querido filho e neto o innocente Carlos, que ha de sepultarse hoje, ás 1012 horas da manhã, no cemiterio de S. João Baptista, sahindo o corpo da rua da Bella-Vista n. 3, no Rio Comprido.

Antonio Luiz Fernandes da Cunha and his wife D. Manoela Pereira Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha and his wife D. Balbina Alves Pereira da Cunha, invite their friends to join them for the funeral of their beloved son and grandson, the innocent Carlos, who will be buried today at 10:30 AM in the cemetery of St. John the Baptist, leaving from 3 Bella Vista Street, in Rio Comprido.

Which means that Antonio Luiz Fernandez da Cunha and his wife, Donna Manoela Pereira Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha and his wife, Donna Balbina Alves Pereira da Cunha, invite their friends to accompany the funeral of their lamented son and grandson, the innocent Carlos, who will be buried to-day at half-past ten in the morning, in the Cemetery of St John the Baptist. The place of rendezvous concludes the melancholy announcement.

Which means that Antonio Luiz Fernandez da Cunha and his wife, Donna Manoela Pereira Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha and his wife, Donna Balbina Alves Pereira da Cunha, invite their friends to join them for the funeral of their beloved son and grandson, the innocent Carlos, who will be buried today at 10:30 AM in the Cemetery of St. John the Baptist. The meeting place ends the sad announcement.

Funeral advertisements seem very popular in Rio, the following being extracted from among a large number of similar announcements in the Journal do Commercio:—

Funeral ads seem really common in Rio, with the following being taken from a large number of similar announcements in the Journal do Commerce:—

cross

D. Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição e Procopio de Jesus cordialmente agradecem ás pessoas que fizerão o caridoso obsequio de acompanhar os restos mortaes de seu muito prezado esposo e compadre Olegario da Silva; e de novo rogão ás mesmas pessoas e aos amigos do mesmo finado para assistir à missa de[616] sentimo dia, que se ha de celebrar, amanhã 5 do corrente, na matriz de Sant’Anna, ás 8 horas; pelo que desde já se confessão summamente gratos.

D. Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição e Procopio de Jesus sincerely thanks everyone who kindly accompanied the remains of her beloved husband and godfather, Olegario da Silva. They also invite the same individuals and friends of the deceased to attend the memorial mass on the same day, which will be held tomorrow, the 5th of this month, at the main church of Sant’Anna, at 8 AM; for which they are already extremely grateful.

This is from Donna Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição and Procopio de Jesus, who cordially thank those friends that performed the charitable office of following to the grave the mortal remains of their very dear husband and godfather, Olegario da Silva. Those and others are again requested to attend the seventh-day mass, which is to be performed on the morrow, in the mother church of St Anna, at eight o’clock, for which attendance the advertisers will be very thankful. There are so many of these notices, all of which are evidently looked forward to with interest, that the reader cannot help thinking a particularly healthy season in Rio would be regarded as quite a public misfortune.

This is from Donna Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição and Procopio de Jesus, who sincerely thank their friends for kindly attending the funeral of their beloved husband and godfather, Olegario da Silva. They also invite everyone to the seventh-day mass, which will be held tomorrow at the mother church of St. Anna at eight o’clock. The hosts would greatly appreciate your attendance. There are so many of these announcements that it's clear people are eagerly anticipating them, leading the reader to think that a particularly good season in Rio would be seen as a public misfortune.

FINIS.

FINISHED.

PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY
EDINBURGH AND LONDON

PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE & CO.
EDINBURGH AND LONDON


BOOKS PUBLISHED BY CHATTO & WINDUS.

BOOKS PUBLISHED BY CHATTO & WINDUS.

[Post-Office Orders payable
at Piccadilly Circus.]

[Postal Orders payable
at Piccadilly Circus.]

[November, 1874.

November 1874.

A List of Books
PUBLISHED BY
Chatto & Windus,
74 & 75, PICCADILLY, LONDON, W.

SUMPTUOUS GIFT-BOOK.
THE TURNER GALLERY:
A Series of Sixty Engravings,
From the Principal Works of Joseph Mallord William Turner.
With a Memoir and Illustrative Text
By RALPH NICHOLSON WORNUM,
Keeper and Secretary, National Gallery.

LUXURY GIFT BOOK.
THE TURNER GALLERY:
A Collection of Sixty Prints,
From the Major Works of Joseph Mallord William Turner.
With a Biography and Commentary
By RALPH NICHOLSON WORNUM,
Keeper and Secretary, National Gallery.

Handsomely half-bound, India Proofs, Royal folio, £10; Large
Paper
copies, Artists’ India Proofs, Elephant folio, £20.

Handsomely half-bound, India Proofs, Royal folio, £10; Large Paper copies, Artists’ India Proofs, Elephant folio, £20.

A Descriptive Pamphlet will be sent upon application.

A detailed pamphlet will be sent upon request.


THE NATIONAL GALLERY:

THE NATIONAL GALLERY:

A Selection from its Pictures,

A Selection of Its Photos,

By Claude, Rembrandt, Cuyp, Sir David Wilkie, Correggio,
Gainsborough, Canaletti, Vandyck, Paul Veronese,
Caracci, Rubens, N. and G. Poussin,
and other great Masters.

By Claude, Rembrandt, Cuyp, Sir David Wilkie, Correggio,
Gainsborough, Canaletto, Vandyke, Paul Veronese,
Caracci, Rubens, N. and G. Poussin,
and other great Masters.

Engraved by George Doo, John Burnet, William Finden, John and Henry Le Keux, John Pye, Walter Bromley, and others. With descriptive Text. A New Edition, from the Original Plates, in columbier 4to, cloth extra, full gilt and gilt edges, 42s.

Engraved by George Doo, John Burnet, William Finden, John and Henry Le Keux, John Pye, Walter Bromley, and others. With descriptive text. A New Edition, from the original plates, in columbier 4to, extra cloth, fully gilt with gilt edges, 42s.


THE FAMOUS FRASER PORTRAITS.

THE RENOWNED FRASER PORTRAITS.


MACLISE’S GALLERY OF
ILLUSTRIOUS LITERARY CHARACTERS.
With Notes by the late WILLIAM MAGINN, LL.D.

MACLISE’S GALLERY OF
FAMOUS LITERARY CHARACTERS.
With Notes by the late WILLIAM MAGINN, LL.D.

Edited, with copious Notes, by William Bates, B.A. The volume contains 83 Splendid and most Characteristic Portraits, now first issued in a complete form. In demy 4to, over 400 pages, cloth gilt and gilt edges, 31s. 6d.

Edited, with plenty of notes, by William Bates, B.A. This volume includes 83 Stunning and Unique Portraits, now presented in their complete form for the first time. In demy 4to, over 400 pages, cloth gilt and gilt edges, 31s. 6d.

“Most interesting.”—Saturday Review.

“Most interesting.”—Saturday Review.

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“It's hard to picture a more stylish addition to a living room table.”—Fun.

“One of the most interesting volumes of this year’s literature.”—Times.

“One of the most intriguing books of this year’s literature.”—Times.

“Deserves a place on every drawing-room table, and may not unfitly be removed from the drawing-room to the library.”—Spectator.

“Deserves a spot on every living room table and can also be appropriately moved from the living room to the library.”—Spectator.


THE
WORKS OF JAMES GILLRAY, THE CARICATURIST.

THE
ARTWORKS BY JAMES GILLRAY, THE CARICATURIST.

With the Story of his Life and Times, and full and Anecdotal
Descriptions of his Engravings.

With the Story of his Life and Times, and detailed and anecdotal
Descriptions of his Engravings.

Edited by THOMAS WRIGHT, Esq., M.A., F.S.A.

Edited by Thomas Wright, Esq., M.A., F.S.A.

Illustrated with 83 full-page Plates, and very numerous Wood Engravings. Demy 4to, 600 pages, cloth extra, 31s. 6d.

Illustrated with 83 full-page plates and many wood engravings. Demy 4to, 600 pages, cloth extra, £3 1s. 6d.

“High as the expectations excited by this description [in the Introduction] may be, they will not be disappointed. With rare exception, no source of information has been neglected by the editor, and the most inquisitive or exacting reader will find ready gathered to his hand, without the trouble of reference, almost every scrap of narrative, anecdote, gossip, scandal, or epigram, in poetry or prose, that he can possibly require for the elucidation of the caricatures.”—Quarterly Review.

“High as the expectations stirred up by this description [in the Introduction] may be, they won’t be let down. With few exceptions, the editor hasn’t overlooked any source of information, and the most curious or demanding reader will find almost every piece of narrative, anecdote, gossip, scandal, or epigram, in both poetry and prose, readily available without the hassle of looking it up, that they could possibly need to understand the caricatures.” —Quarterly Review.

“The publishers have done good service in bringing so much that is full of humour and of historical interest within the reach of a large class.”—Saturday Review.

“The publishers have done a great job in making so much that is full of humor and historical interest accessible to a wider audience.”—Saturday Review.

“One of the most amusing and valuable illustrations of the social and polished life of that generation which it is possible to conceive.”—Spectator.

“One of the most entertaining and valuable examples of the social and sophisticated life of that generation that you can imagine.”—Spectator.


NEW SERIES OF
BEAUTIFUL PICTURES.

NEW SERIES OF
STUNNING IMAGES.

Including Examples by Armytage, Faed, Goodall, Hemsley, Horsley, Marks, Nicholls, Sir Noel Paton, Pickersgill, G. Smith, Marcus Stone, Solomon, Straight, E.M. Ward, Warren; all engraved in the highest style of Art, with Notices of the Artists and of their Pictures by Sydney Armytage, M.A. Imp. 4to, cloth extra, gilt, and gilt edges, 21s.

Including Examples by Armytage, Faed, Goodall, Hemsley, Horsley, Grades, Nicholls, Sir Noel Paton, Pickersgill, G. Smith, Marcus Stone, Solomon, Straight, E.M. Ward, Warren; all engraved in the finest artistic style, with notes about the artists and their paintings by Sydney Armytage, M.A. Imp. 4to, extra cloth, gilded, and gilt edges, 21s.


BEAUTIFUL PICTURES BY BRITISH ARTISTS:
A Gathering of Favourites from our Picture Galleries, 1800-1870.

Stunning Art by British Artists:
A Collection of Favorites from our Art Galleries, 1800-1870.

Including examples by Wilkie, Constable, Turner, Mulready, Landseer, Maclise, E.M. Ward, Frith, Sir John Gilbert, Leslie, Ansdell, Marcus Stone, Sir Noel Paton, Faed, Eyre Crowe, Gavin, O’Neil, and Madox Brown. Engraved on Steel in the highest style of Art. Edited, with Notices of the Artists, by Sydney Armytage, M.A. Imperial 4to, cloth extra, gilt and gilt edges, 21s.

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TOM HOOD’S NEW STORY FOR CHILDREN.

TOM HOOD'S NEW STORY FOR KIDS.

From Nowhere to the North Pole:
A Noah’s Arkæological Narrative. By TOM HOOD.

From Nowhere to the North Pole:
A Fictional Story about Noah's Ark. By TOM HOOD.

With 25 Illustrations by W. Brunton and E.C. Barnes. Sq. crown 8vo, in a handsome and specially-designed binding, gilt edges, 6s.

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NEW BOOK BY MR. WALTER THORNBURY.

NEW BOOK BY MR. WALTER THORNBURY.

On the Slopes of Parnassus. Illustrated by J.E. Millais, John Tenniel, F. Sandys, Fred. Walker, G. J. Pinwell, J. D. Houghton, E. J. Poynter, H. S. Marks, J. Whistler, and others. Handsomely printed, crown 4to, cloth extra, gilt and gilt edges, 21s. [In preparation.

On the Slopes of Parnassus. Illustrated by J.E. Millais, John Tenniel, F. Sandys, Fred Walker, G.J. Pinwell, J.D. Houghton, E.J. Poynter, H.S. Marks, J. Whistler, and others. Beautifully printed, crown 4to, cloth extra, gold and gold edges, 21s. In progress.


NEW GROTESQUE GIFT-BOOK.
A Rare and Choice Collection of

NEW GROTESQUE GIFT BOOK.
A Unique and Curated Collection of __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

Queens and Kings, and other Things: The Pictures, Poetry, and strange but veritable Histories designed and written by the Princess Hesse-Schwarzbourg. The whole imprinted in gold and many colours by the Brothers Dalziel, at the Camden Press. Imp. 4to, cloth gilt and gilt edges, price One Guinea.

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Æsop’s Fables, translated into Human Nature by C. H. Bennett. Descriptive Text. Entirely New Edit. Cr. 4to, 24 Plates, beautifully printed in colours, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.

Aesop's Fables translated into Human Nature by C.H. Bennett. Descriptive Text. Completely New Edition. Cr. 4to, 24 Plates, beautifully printed in color, extra cloth, gold lettering, 6s.


Companion to the “History of Signboards.”

Guide to the "History of Signboards."

Advertising, A History of, from the Earliest Times. Illustrated by Anecdotes, Curious Specimens, Biographical Notes, and Examples of Successful Advertisers. By Henry Sampson. Crown 8vo, with Coloured Frontispiece and numerous Illustrations, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

Advertising: A History, from the Earliest Times. Illustrated with stories, interesting examples, biographical notes, and cases of successful advertisers. By Henry Sampson. Crown 8vo, with a colored frontispiece and many illustrations, extra cloth, gold, 7s. 6d.


Amusing Poetry. A Selection of Humorous Verse from all the Best Writers. Edited, with a Preface, by Shirley Brooks. A New Edition, in fcap. 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, and gilt edges, 3s. 6d.

Humorous Poetry. A Collection of Humorous Verses from All the Best Writers. Edited, with a Preface, by Shirley Brooks. A New Edition, in fcap. 8vo, extra cloth, gold detailing, and gilded edges, 3£ 6d.


Anacreon. Translated by Thomas Moore, and Illustrated by the Exquisite Designs of Girodet. Bound in Etruscan gold and blue, 12s. 6d.

Anacreon. Translated by Thomas More, and Illustrated by the Beautiful Designs of Girodet. Bound in Etruscan gold and blue, 12s. 6d.


Army Lists of the Roundheads and Cavaliers in the Civil War, 1642. Second Edition, Corrected and considerably Enlarged. Edited, with Notes and full Index, by Edward Peacock, F.S.A. 4to, hf.-Roxburghe, 7s. 6d.

Army Lists of the Roundheads and Cavaliers in the Civil War, 1642. Second Edition, Revised and Expanded. Edited, with Notes and a complete Index, by Edward Peacock, F.S.A. 4to, half-Roxburghe, £7.6.


Uniform with Mr. Ruskin’s Edition of “Grimm.”

In accordance with Mr. Ruskin's edition of "Grimm."

playing children

Bechstein’s As Pretty as Seven, and other Popular German Stories. Collected by Ludwig Bechstein. With Additional Tales by the Brothers Grimm, 100 Illusts. by Richter. Small 4to, green and gold, 6s. 6d.; gilt edges, 7s. 6d.

Bechstein’s As Pretty as 7, and other Popular German Stories. Collected by Ludwig Bechstein. With Additional Tales by the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, 100 Illustrations by Richter scale. Small 4to, green and gold, £6.30; gilt edges, £7.30.


Artemus Ward, Complete. The Works of Charles Farrer Browne, better known as Artemus Ward, now first collected. Crown 8vo, with fine Portrait, facsimile of handwriting, &c., 540 pages, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Artemus Ward, Complete Works. The Works of Charles Farrer Browne, widely recognized as Artemus Ward, are now compiled for the first time. Crown 8vo, featuring a great portrait, a facsimile of handwriting, etc., 540 pages, extra cloth, 7sh. 6d.


Artemus Ward’s Lecture at the Egyptian Hall, with the Panorama. Edited by T. W. Robertson and E. P. Hingston. 4to, green and gold, Tinted Illust., 6s.

Artemus Ward's Lecture at the Egyptian Hall, with the Panorama. Edited by T.W. Robertson and E.P. Hingston. 4to, green and gold, Tinted Illustration, 6s.


Boccaccio’s Decameron; or, Ten Days’ Entertainment. Now fully translated into English, with Introduction by Thomas Wright, Esq., M.A., F.S.A. With Portrait after Raphael, and Stothard’s Ten Copper-plates. Crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, 7s. 6d.

Boccaccio's The Decameron; or, Ten Days’ Entertainment. Now completely translated into English, with an Introduction by Thomas Wright, Esq., M.A., F.S.A. Includes a portrait after Raphael, and Stothard's Ten copper plates. Crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, 7s. 6d.


Booksellers, A History of. Full Accounts of the Great Publishing Houses and their Founders, both in London and the Provinces, the History of their Rise and Progress, and of their greatest Works. By Harry Curwen. Crown 8vo, over 500 pages, with frontispiece and numerous Portraits and Illustrations, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

A History of Booksellers. Comprehensive accounts of major publishing houses and their founders, both in London and the regions, detailing their growth and achievements, as well as their most significant works. By Harry Curwen. Crown 8vo, over 500 pages, featuring a frontispiece and several portraits and illustrations, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.

HEADPIECE USED BY WILLIAM CAXTON.

Headpiece used by William Caxton.

In these days, ten ordinary Histories of Kings and Courtiers were well exchanged against the tenth part of one good History of Booksellers.”—Thomas Carlyle.

These days, ten average stories about Kings and Courtiers were easily traded for just one-tenth of a decent story about Booksellers.”—Thomas Carlyle.

“This stout little book is unquestionably amusing. Ill-starred, indeed, must be the reader who, opening it anywhere, lights upon six consecutive pages within the entire compass of which some good anecdote or smart repartee is not to be found.”—Saturday Review.

“This sturdy little book is definitely entertaining. How unfortunate must be the reader who, opening it to any page, finds six consecutive pages that don't contain a good story or witty remark.”—Saturday Review.

“Mr. Curwen has produced an interesting work.”—Daily News.

“Mr. Curwen has created an engaging piece.”—Daily News.

“The ‘History of Booksellers’ will not merely repay perusal, but ought to have a permanent place on library shelves.”—Court Circular.

“The ‘History of Booksellers’ is not only worth reading but also deserves a permanent spot on library shelves.”—Court Circular.


Book of Hall-Marks; or, Manual of Reference for the Goldsmith and Silversmith. By Alfred Lutschaunig, Manager of the Liverpool Assay Office. Crown 8vo, with 46 Plates of the Hall-Marks of the different Assay Towns of the United Kingdom, as now stamped on Plate and Jewellery, 7s. 6d.

Book of Hallmarks; or, Reference Guide for Goldsmiths and Silversmiths. By Alfred Lutschaunig, Manager of the Liverpool Assay Office. Crown 8vo, featuring 46 Plates of Hall-Marks from various Assay Towns across the United Kingdom, as currently stamped on Plate and Jewelry, 7s. 6d.

*** This work gives practical methods for testing the quality of gold and silver. It was compiled by the author for his own use, and as a Supplement to “Chaffers.”

*** This book provides practical ways to test the quality of gold and silver. It was put together by the author for his own reference and as a supplement to “Chaffers.”


Boudoir Ballads: Vers de Société. By J. Ashby Sterry. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, and gilt edges, 6s. [In preparation.

Boudoir Songs: Social Verses. By J. Ashby Sterry. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, gold lettering, and gilded edges, 6s. In progress.


Bret Harte’s Complete Works, in Prose and Poetry. Now First Collected. With Introductory Essay by J. M. Bellew, Portrait of the Author, and 50 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, 650 pages, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Bret Harte: The Collected Works, in Prose and Poetry. Now Collected for the First Time. With an Introductory Essay by J.M. Bellew, a Portrait of the Author, and 50 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, 650 pages, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.


Brewster’s (Sir David) More Worlds than One, the Creed of the Philosopher and the Hope of the Christian. A New Edition, in small crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, with full-page Astronomical Plates, uniform with Faraday’s “Chemical History of a Candle.” 4s. 6d.

Brewster’s (Sir David) More Worlds than One, the Belief of the Philosopher and the Aspiration of the Christian. A New Release, in small crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, with full-page Astronomical Plates, matching Faraday’s “Chemical History of a Candle.” 4s. 6d.


Brewster’s (Sir D.) Martyrs of Science. New Edition, small cr. 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, with full-page Portraits, uniform with Faraday’s “Various Forces of Nature.” 4s. 6d.

Brewster’s (Sir D.) Martyrs of Science. New Edition, small cr. 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, with full-page Portraits, matching Faraday’s “Various Forces of Nature.” 4sh. 6d.


Bright’s (Rt. Hon. J., M.P.) Speeches on Public Affairs of the last Twenty Years. Collated with the best Public Reports. Royal 16mo, 370 pages, cloth extra, 1s.

Bright's (Rt. Hon. J., M.P.) speeches on Public Affairs from the Last Twenty Years. Collected with the Best Public Reports. Royal 16mo, 370 pages, extra cloth, 1s.


COLMAN’S HUMOROUS WORKS.

COLMAN’S FUNNY WORKS.

Broad Grins. My Nightgown and Slippers, and other Humorous Works, Prose and Poetical, of George Colman the Younger. Now first collected, with Life and Anecdotes of the Author, by George B. Buckstone. With Frontispiece by Hogarth. Crown 8vo, 500 pp., 7s. 6d.

Big Smiles. My Nightgown and Slippers, and other Humorous Works, both Prose and Poetry, of George Colman the Younger. Now collected for the first time, along with the Life and Anecdotes of the Author, by George B. Buckstone. Features a Frontispiece by Hogarth. Crown 8vo, 500 pages, £7.50.


Broadstone Hall, and other Poems. By W. E. Windus. With 40 Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 5s.

Broadstone Hall, and other Poems. By W.E. Windus. With 40 Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 5s.


NEW BOOK FOR BOYS.

NEW BOOK FOR GUYS.

Conquest of the Sea: A History of Divers and Diving, from the Earliest Times to the Present Day. By Henry Siebe. Profusely Illustrated with fine Wood Engravings. Small crown 8vo, cloth extra, 4s. 6d.

Conquering the Sea: A History of Divers and Diving, from the Earliest Times to Today. By Henry Siebe. Filled with amazing Wood Engravings. Small crown 8vo, extra cloth, 4s. 6d.

“We have perused this volume, full of quaint information, with delight. Mr. Siebe has bestowed much pains on his work; he writes with enthusiasm and fulness of knowledge.”—Echo.

“We have read this book, packed with interesting information, with great pleasure. Mr. Siebe has put a lot of effort into his work; he writes with enthusiasm and a wealth of knowledge.”—Echo.

“Really interesting alike to youths and to grown-up people.”—Scotsman.

“Really interesting for both young people and adults.”—Scotsman.

“Equally interesting to the general and to the scientific reader.”—Morning Advertiser.

“Equally interesting to both casual and scientific readers.” —Morning Advertiser.


MISS BRADDON’S NEW NOVEL.

Miss Braddon's Latest Novel.

Lost for Love: A Novel. By M. E. Braddon, Author of “Lady Audley’s Secret,” &c. Now ready, in 3 vols., crown 8vo, at all Libraries, and at the Booksellers.

Lost in Love: A Novel. By M.E. Braddon, Author of “Lady Audley’s Secret,” etc. Now available in 3 volumes, crown 8vo, at all libraries and bookstores.

“One of the best novels lately produced. In several important respects, it appears to us, Miss Braddon’s recent works deserve the highest commendation.”—Illustrated London News.

“One of the best novels produced recently. In several important ways, it seems to us, Miss Braddon’s recent works deserve the highest praise.”—Illustrated London News.

“We may confidently predict for it a warm welcome from Miss Braddon’s numerous admirers.”—Graphic.

“We can confidently expect a warm reception from Miss Braddon’s many fans.” —Graphic.

“‘Lost for Love’ must be placed high among Miss Braddon’s novels. It has a quiet power, which makes it attractive in a high degree.”—Scotsman.

“‘Lost for Love’ should be ranked among Miss Braddon’s best novels. It has a subtle strength that makes it very appealing.”—Scotsman.

“Unaffected, simple, and easily written, it will disappoint Miss Braddon’s early admirers, and please that which we hope is a wider public.”—Athenæum.

“Unpretentious, straightforward, and easy to read, it will let down Miss Braddon’s early fans, and hopefully appeal to a broader audience.”—Athenæum.


Byron’s (Lord) Letters and Journals, with Notices of his Life. By Thomas Moore. A Reprint of the Original Edition, newly revised, complete in a thick volume of 1060 pp., with Twelve full-page Plates. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

Byron's Letters and Journals, with Details of his Life. By Thomas Moore. A Reprint of the Original Edition, newly revised, complete in a thick volume of 1060 pages, with Twelve full-page Plates. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, gilt, 7sh. 6d.

“We have read this book with the greatest pleasure. Considered merely as a composition, it deserves to be classed among the best specimens of English prose which our age has produced. It contains, indeed, no single passage equal to two or three which we could select from the Life of Sheridan; but, as a whole, it is immeasurably superior to that work. The style is agreeable, clear, and manly, and, when it rises into eloquence, rises without effort or ostentation. Nor is the matter inferior to the manner. It would be difficult to name a book which exhibits more kindness, fairness, and modesty. It has evidently been written, not for the purpose of showing—what, however, it often shows—how well its author can write, but for the purpose of vindicating, as far as truth will permit, the memory of a celebrated man who can no longer vindicate himself. Mr. Moore never thrusts himself between Lord Byron and the public. With the strongest temptations to egotism, he has said no more about himself than the subject absolutely required. A great part, indeed the greater part, of these volumes consists of extracts from the Letters and Journals of Lord Byron; and it is difficult to speak too highly of the skill which has been shown in the selection and arrangement.... It is impossible, on a general survey, to deny that the task has been executed with great judgment and great humanity. When we consider the life which Lord Byron had led, his petulance, his irritability, and his communicativeness, we cannot but admire the dexterity with which Mr. Moore has contrived to exhibit so much of the character and opinions of his friend, with so little pain to the feelings of the living.”—Lord Macaulay, in the Edinburgh Review.

“We have read this book with great pleasure. As a piece of writing, it deserves to be considered among the best examples of English prose produced in our time. While it doesn't feature a single passage that rivals two or three we could pick from the Life of Sheridan, overall, it’s vastly superior to that work. The style is pleasant, clear, and confident, and when it becomes eloquent, it does so effortlessly and without pretense. The content is as strong as the style. It’s hard to name a book that shows more kindness, fairness, and humility. It’s clear that this book was written not to showcase how well the author can write—though it often does that—but to honor, as truthfully as possible, the memory of a distinguished man who can no longer defend himself. Mr. Moore doesn’t position himself between Lord Byron and the readers. Despite having strong reasons to be self-centered, he only shares what is absolutely necessary about himself. A significant portion, in fact the majority, of these volumes consists of extracts from the Letters and Journals of Lord Byron; and it’s hard to praise enough the skill shown in their selection and arrangement. It’s impossible to deny, upon a general view, that this task has been carried out with great judgment and compassion. Considering the life Lord Byron led, with his moods, irritability, and openness, we can't help but admire how well Mr. Moore has managed to reveal so much about his friend’s character and opinions while minimizing distress to the living.” —Lord Macaulay, in the Edinburgh Review.


Carols of Cockayne; Vers de Société descriptive of London Life. By Henry S. Leigh. Third Edition. With numerous Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 5s.

Cockayne Carols; Verses on Society describing London Life. By Henry S. Leigh. Third Edition. With many Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 5s.


Carlyle (T.) on the Choice of Books. With New Life and Anecdotes. Brown cloth, UNIFORM WITH THE 2s. Edition of his Works, 1s. 6d.

Carlyle (T.) on Choosing Books. With New Life and Stories. Brown cloth, UNIFORM WITH THE 2£. Collection of his Works, 1£. 6d.


Celebrated Claimants, Ancient and Modern. Being the Histories of all the most celebrated Pretenders and Claimants from Perkin Warbeck to Arthur Orton. Fcap. 8vo, 350 pages, illustrated boards, price 2s.

Notable Claimants, Past and Present. Covering the stories of all the most well-known Pretenders and Claimants from Perkin Warbeck to Arthur Orton. Fcap. 8vo, 350 pages, illustrated covers, price 2s.


MR. WILKIE COLLINS’S NEW NOVEL.

Mr. Wilkie Collins's New Novel.

The Law and the Lady: A Novel. By Wilkie Collins, Author of “The Woman in White.” 3 vols., crown 8vo, 31s. 6d. [Shortly.

The Law and the Lady: A Novel. By Wilkie Collins, Author of “The Woman in White.” 3 vols., crown 8vo, £31.6. Coming Soon.


Christmas Carols and Ballads. Selected and Edited by Joshua Sylvester. A New Edition, beautifully printed and bound in cloth, extra gilt, gilt edges, 3s. 6d.

Christmas Songs and Ballads. Selected and Edited by Joshua Sylvester. A New Edition, beautifully printed and bound in cloth, extra gold, gold edges, 3s. 6d.


Cruikshank’s Comic Almanack. Complete in Two Series: the First from 1835 to 1843; the Second from 1844 to 1853. A Gathering of the Best Humour of Thackeray, Hood, Mayhew, Albert Smith, A’Beckett, Robert Brough, &c. With 2,000 Woodcuts and Steel Engravings by Cruikshank, Hine, Landells, &c. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, two very thick volumes, 15s.; or, separately, 7s. 6d. per volume.

Cruikshank’s Comic Yearbook. Complete in Two Series: the First from 1835 to 1843; the Second from 1844 to 1853. A Collection of the Best Jokes from Thackeray, Hood, Mayhew, Albert Smith, A'Beckett, Robert Brough, etc. With 2,000 Illustrations and Steel Engravings by Cruikshank, Hine, Landells, etc. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, two very thick volumes, 15s.; or, separately, 7s. 6d. per volume.

*** The “Comic Almanacks” of George Cruikshank have long been regarded by admirers of this inimitable artist as among his finest, most characteristic productions. Extending over a period of nineteen years, from 1835 to 1853, inclusive, they embrace the best period of his artistic career, and show the varied excellences of his marvellous power. The late Mr. Tilt, of Fleet Street, first conceived the idea of the “Comic Almanack,” and at various times there were engaged upon it such writers as Thackeray, Albert Smith, the Brothers Mayhew, the late Robert Brough, Gilbert A’Beckett, and, it has been asserted, Tom Hood the elder. Thackeray’s stories of “Stubbs’ Calendar; or, The Fatal Boots,” which subsequently appeared as “Stubbs’ Diary;” and “Barber Cox; or, The Cutting of his Comb,” formed the leading attractions in the numbers for 1839 and 1840.

*** The “Comic Almanacks” by George Cruikshank have long been seen by fans of this unique artist as some of his best and most characteristic works. Spanning nineteen years, from 1835 to 1853, they showcase the peak of his artistic career and highlight the diverse strengths of his incredible talent. The late Mr. Tilt from Fleet Street came up with the idea for the “Comic Almanack,” and at different times, notable writers involved included Thackeray, Albert Smith, the Brothers Mayhew, the late Robert Brough, Gilbert A’Beckett, and, as it's been claimed, Tom Hood the elder. Thackeray's stories “Stubbs’ Calendar; or, The Fatal Boots,” which later became “Stubbs’ Diary,” and “Barber Cox; or, The Cutting of his Comb,” were the main highlights in the editions for 1839 and 1840.


heraldic symbols

THE BEST GUIDE TO HERALDRY.

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HERALDRY.

Cussans’ Handbook of Heraldry; with Instructions for Tracing Pedigrees and Deciphering Ancient MSS.; also, Rules for the Appointment of Liveries, &c., &c. By John E. Cussans. Illustrated with 360 Plates and Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt and emblazoned, 7s. 6d.

Cussans' Guide to Heraldry; with Instructions for Tracing Family Trees and Decoding Ancient Manuscripts; also, Guidelines for the Appointment of Liveries, etc., etc. By John E. Cussans. Illustrated with 360 Plates and Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, gold and decorated, 7s. 6d.

*** This volume, beautifully printed on toned paper, contains not only the ordinary matter to be found in the best books on the science of Armory, but several other subjects hitherto unnoticed. Amongst these may be mentioned:—1. Directions for Tracing Pedigrees. 2. Deciphering Ancient MSS., illustrated by Alphabets and Fac-similes. 3. The Appointment of Liveries. 4. Continental and American Heraldry, &c.

*** This book, elegantly printed on high-quality paper, includes not only the standard content found in the best books on Armory science, but also several additional topics that have not been addressed before. These include:—1. Instructions for Tracing Family Trees. 2. Decoding Ancient Manuscripts, featuring examples of Alphabets and Facsimiles. 3. The Assignment of Uniforms. 4. European and American Heraldry, etc.


NEW AND IMPORTANT WORK.

New and important project.

Cyclopædia of Costume; or, A Dictionary of Dress, Regal, Ecclesiastical, Civil, and Military, from the Earliest Period in England to the reign of George the Third. Including Notices of Contemporaneous Fashions on the Continent, and preceded by a General History of the Costume of the Principal Countries of Europe. By J. R. Planché, F.S.A., Somerset Herald.

Costume Encyclopedia; or, A Dictionary of Dress, Royal, Religious, Civil, and Military, from the Earliest Times in England to the reign of George III. Including Notes on Fashion Trends in Europe, and preceded by a General History of the Costumes of the Main Countries in Europe. By J.R. Planché, F.S.A., Somerset Herald.

This work will be published in Twenty-four Monthly Parts, quarto, at Five Shillings, profusely illustrated by Plates and Wood Engravings; with each Part will also be issued a splendid Coloured Plate, from an original Painting or Illustration, of Royal and Noble Personages, and National Costume, both foreign and domestic. The First Part is just ready.

This work will be released in twenty-four monthly installments, in quarto format, for five shillings, featuring numerous illustrations through plates and wood engravings. Each installment will also include a beautiful colored plate from an original painting or illustration of royal and noble figures, as well as national costumes, both foreign and domestic. The first installment is now available.

knight

IN collecting materials for a History of Costume of more importance than the little handbook which has met with so much favour as an elementary work, I was not only made aware of my own deficiencies, but surprised to find how much more vague are the explanations, and contradictory the statements, of our best authorities, than they appeared to me, when, in the plenitude of my ignorance, I rushed upon almost untrodden ground, and felt bewildered by the mass of unsifted evidence and unhesitating assertion which met my eyes at every turn.

IN collecting materials for a History of Costume, which is more significant than the little handbook that has enjoyed so much popularity as an introductory work, I not only became aware of my own shortcomings but was also surprised to discover how much more unclear the explanations and contradictory the statements of our top experts are than they seemed to me when, in my complete ignorance, I ventured into almost uncharted territory, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of unfiltered evidence and confident claims that confronted me at every turn.

During the forty years which have elapsed since the publication of the first edition of my “History of British Costume” in the “Library of Entertaining Knowledge,” archæological investigation has received such an impetus by the establishment of metropolitan and provincial peripatetic antiquarian societies, that a flood of light has been poured upon us, by which we are enabled to re-examine our opinions and discover reasons to doubt, if we cannot find facts to authenticate.

During the forty years since the publication of the first edition of my “History of British Costume” in the “Library of Entertaining Knowledge,” archaeological research has gained so much momentum with the founding of local and traveling antiquarian societies that we’ve been given a wealth of information that allows us to reassess our views and find reasons to question them, even if we can’t always uncover facts to back them up.

That the former greatly preponderate is a grievous acknowledgment to make after assiduously devoting the leisure of half my life to the pursuit of information on this, to me, most fascinating subject. It is some consolation, however, to feel that where I cannot instruct, I shall certainly not mislead, and that the reader will find, under each head, all that is known to, or suggested by, the most competent writers I am acquainted with, either here or on the Continent.

That the former is much more prevalent is a painful realization to accept after spending half my life diligently pursuing knowledge on this, to me, most intriguing topic. It’s somewhat comforting, though, to know that where I can’t teach, I definitely won’t mislead, and that the reader will discover, under each section, everything that is known or suggested by the most knowledgeable writers I know, both here and abroad.

That this work appears in a glossarial form arises from the desire of many artists, who have expressed to me the difficulty they constantly meet with in their endeavours to ascertain the complete form of a garment, or the exact mode of fastening a piece of armour, or buckling of a belt, from their study of a sepulchral effigy or a figure in an illumination; the attitude of the personages represented, or the disposition of other portions of their attire, effectually preventing the requisite examination.

That this work is presented in a glossary format comes from the requests of many artists who have told me about the challenges they regularly face in figuring out the full shape of a garment, the proper way to fasten a piece of armor, or how to buckle a belt based on their study of a tomb figure or a depiction in an illustration. The poses of the individuals depicted, or the arrangement of other parts of their clothing, often make it impossible to get the detailed examination they need.

The books supplying any such information are very few, and the best confined to armour or ecclesiastical costume. The only English publication of the kind required, that I am aware of, is the late Mr. Fairholt’s “Costume in England” (8vo, London, 1846), the last two hundred pages of which contain a glossary, the most valuable portion whereof are the quotations from old plays, mediæval romances, and satirical ballads, containing allusions to various articles of attire in fashion at the time of their composition. Twenty-eight years have expired since that book appeared, and it has been thought that a more comprehensive work on the subject than has yet issued from the English press, combining the pith of the information of many costly foreign publications, and, in its illustrations, keeping in view the special requirement of the artist, to which I have alluded, would be, in these days of educational progress and critical inquiry, a welcome addition to the library of an English gentleman. J. R. PLANCHÉ.

The books that provide this kind of information are very few, and the best ones focus on armor or church costumes. The only English publication I'm aware of that fits this need is the late Mr. Fairholt’s “Costume in England” (8vo, London, 1846). The last two hundred pages include a glossary, with the most valuable part being the quotes from old plays, medieval romances, and satirical ballads that reference various popular clothing styles of the time they were written. It's been twenty-eight years since that book was published, and there’s a belief that a more comprehensive work on the topic—one that gathers the essential information from many expensive foreign publications and considers the specific needs of artists—would be a great addition to an English gentleman's library in this era of educational advancement and critical exploration. J.R. Planché.


Cussans’ History of Hertfordshire. A County History, got up in a very superior manner, and ranging with the finest works of its class. By John E. Cussans. Illustrated with full-page Plates on Copper and Stone, and a profusion of small Woodcuts. Parts I. to VIII. are now ready, price 21s. each.

Cussans' Hertfordshire History. A County History, created in a very high-quality format, and comparable to the best works in its category. By John E. Cussans. Illustrated with full-page plates on copper and stone, along with numerous small woodcuts. Parts I to VIII are now available, priced at 21s. each.

*** An entirely new History of this important County, great attention being given to all matters pertaining to Family History.

*** A completely new history of this important county, with a strong focus on everything related to family history.


Dickens’ Life and Speeches. By Theodore Taylor. In One Volume, 16mo, cloth extra, 2s. 6d.

Dickens' Life and Talks. By Theo Taylor. In One Volume, 16mo, extra cloth, 2sh. 6d.


“DON QUIXOTE” IN THE ORIGINAL SPANISH.

“DON QUIXOTE” IN THE ORIGINAL SPANISH.

El Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha. Nueva Edición, corregida y revisada. Por Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. Complete in one volume, post 8vo, nearly 700 pages, cloth extra, price 4s. 6d.

The Clever Gentleman Don Quixote of la Mancha. New Edition, edited and revised. By Miguel de Cervantes. Complete in one volume, post 8vo, nearly 700 pages, extra cloth, price 4s. 6d.


GIL BLAS IN SPANISH.

GIL BLAS EN ESPAÑOL.

Historia de Gil Blas de Santillana. Por Le Sage. Traducida al Castellano por el Padre Isla. Nueva Edición, corregida y revisada. Complete in One Volume. Post 8vo, cloth extra, nearly 600 pages, price 4s. 6d.

The Tale of Gil Blas de Santillana. By Le Sage. Translated into Spanish by Father Island. New Edition, corrected and revised. Complete in One Volume. Post 8vo, extra cloth, nearly 600 pages, price 4s. 6d.


Earthward Pilgrimage, from the Next World to that which now is. By Moncure D. Conway. Crown 8vo, beautifully printed and bound, 7s. 6d.

Earthbound Journey, from the Next World to the Present. By Moncure D. Conway. Crown 8vo, beautifully printed and bound, 7sh. 6d.


Ellis’s (Mrs.) Mothers of Great Men. A New Edition, with Illustrations by Valentine W. Bromley. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, over 500 pages, 6s.

Ellis’s (Mrs.) Mothers of Great Men. A New Edition, with Illustrations by Valentine W. Bromley. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, over 500 pages, 6s.

“Mrs. Ellis believes, as most of us do, that the character of the mother goes a long way; and, in illustration of this doctrine, she has given us several lives written in her charming, yet earnest, style. We especially commend the life of Byron’s and Napoleon’s mothers.... The volume has some solid merits.”—Echo.

“Mrs. Ellis believes, like many of us, that a mother’s character is incredibly important. To illustrate this belief, she has provided us with several biographies written in her delightful yet sincere style. We particularly recommend the biographies of Byron's and Napoleon's mothers.... The book has some strong qualities.” —Echo.

“This is a book which ought to be in the libraries of all who interest themselves in the education of women.”—Victoria Magazine.

“This is a book that should be in the libraries of everyone who cares about the education of women.” —Victoria Magazine.

“An extremely agreeable and readable book,... and its value is not a little enhanced by Mr. Bromley’s illustrations.”—Illustrated Dramatic News.

“An incredibly enjoyable and easy-to-read book,... and its value is significantly increased by Mr. Bromley’s illustrations.”—Illustrated Dramatic News.


Emanuel on Diamonds and Precious Stones; Their History, Value, and Properties; with Simple Tests for ascertaining their Reality. By Harry Emanuel, F.R.G.S. With numerous Illustrations, Tinted and Plain. A New Edition, Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.

Emanuel on Diamonds and Precious Stones; Their History, Value, and Properties; with Easy Tests for Determining their Authenticity. By Harry Emanuel, F.R.G.S. Featuring many Illustrations, Colored and Plain. A New Edition, Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.


POE’S COTTAGE AT FORDHAM.

Poe's Cottage in Fordham.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Prose and Poetical Works; including Additional Tales and his fine Critical Essays. With a Translation of Charles Baudelaire’s “Essay.” 750 pages, crown 8vo, fine Portrait and Illustrations, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Prose and Poetry Works; featuring Additional Tales and his excellent Critical Essays. Includes a Translation of Charles Baudelaire's “Essay.” 750 pages, crown 8vo, beautiful Portrait and Illustrations, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.


English Surnames: Their Sources and Significations. By Charles Wareing Bardsley, M.A. Second Edition, revised throughout, considerably enlarged, and partially re-written. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 9s.

English Last Names: Their Sources and Meanings. By Charles Wareing Bardsley, M.A. 2nd Edition, fully updated, significantly expanded, and partially rewritten. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 9s.

“Mr. Bardsley has faithfully consulted the original mediæval documents and works from which the origin and development of surnames can alone be satisfactorily traced. He has furnished a valuable contribution to the literature of surnames, and we hope to hear more of him in this field.”—Times.

“Mr. Bardsley has diligently examined the original medieval documents and works from which the origin and evolution of surnames can be properly followed. He has provided a significant contribution to the literature on surnames, and we look forward to hearing more from him in this area.”—Times.

“Mr. Bardsley’s volume is a very good specimen of the work which the nineteenth century can turn out. He has evidently bestowed a great deal of attention, not only upon surnames, but upon philology in general. The book is a mine of information.”—Westminster Review.

“Mr. Bardsley’s book is an excellent example of what the nineteenth century can produce. He has clearly put a lot of effort, not just into surnames, but into linguistics overall. The book is full of information.”—Westminster Review.

“We welcome this book as an important addition to our knowledge of an important and interesting subject.”—Athenæum.

“We welcome this book as an important addition to our understanding of a significant and intriguing topic.”—Athenæum.


Englishman’s House (The): A Practical Guide to all interested in Selecting or Building a House. By C. J. Richardson, Architect, Author of “Old English Mansions,” &c. Third Edition. With nearly 600 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

The British Man's Home: A Practical Guide for Anyone Interested in Choosing or Building a Home. By C.J. Richardson, Architect, Author of “Old English Mansions,” etc. Third Edition. Featuring nearly 600 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, £7.6.

house

*** This Work might not inappropriately be termed “A Book of Houses.” It gives every variety of house, from a workman’s cottage to a nobleman’s palace. The book is intended to supply a want long felt, viz., a plain, non-technical account of every style of house, with the cost and manner of building.

*** This work could easily be called “A Book of Houses.” It covers every type of house, from a worker’s cottage to a noble’s palace. The book aims to fill a gap that’s been around for a long time: a straightforward, non-technical overview of every style of house, including the cost and how to build them.


Faraday’s Chemical History of a Candle. Lectures delivered to a Juvenile Audience. A New Edition, edited by W. Crookes, Esq., F.C.S., &c. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, with all the Original Illustrations, 4s. 6d.

Faraday’s Chemical History of a Candle. Lectures given to a young audience. A new edition, edited by W. Crookes, Esq., F.C.S., etc. Crown 8vo, hardcover, including all the original illustrations, 4sh. 6d.


Faraday’s Various Forces of Nature. A New Edition, edited by W. Crookes, Esq., F.C.S., &c. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, with all the Original Illustrations, 4s. 6d.

Faraday's Different Forces of Nature. A New Edition, edited by W. Crookes, Esq., F.C.S., etc. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, with all the Original Illustrations, 4s. 6d.


FATHER PROUT’S REMAINS.

FATHER PROUT'S REMAINS.

Final Reliques of Father Prout. Collected and Edited, from MSS. supplied by the Family of the Rev. Francis Mahoney, by Blanchard Jerrold. [In preparation.

Final Reliques of Father Prout. Collected and Edited from manuscripts provided by the family of Rev. Francis Mahoney, by Blanchard Jerrold. In progress.


Finish to Life in and out of London; or, The Final Adventures of Tom, Jerry, and Logic. By Pierce Egan. Royal 8vo, cloth extra, with Spirited Coloured Illustrations by Cruikshank, 21s.

Complete Your Life Inside and Outside of London; or, The Final Adventures of Tom, Jerry, and Logic. By Pierce Egan. Royal 8vo, cloth extra, with Engaging Colored Illustrations by Cruikshank, 21s.


Flagellation and the Flagellants.—A History of the Rod in all Countries, from the Earliest Period to the Present Time. By the Rev. W. Cooper, B.A. Third Edition, revised and corrected, with numerous Illustrations. Thick crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 12s. 6d.

Flagellation and the Flagellants.—A History of the Rod in all Countries, from the Earliest Period to the Present Time. By the Rev. W. Cooper, B.A. Third Edition, revised and corrected, with numerous Illustrations. Thick crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 12sh. 6d.


Fools’ Paradise; with the Many Wonderful Adventures there, as seen in the strange, surprising Peep-Show of Professor Wolley Cobble. Crown 4to, with nearly 350 very funny Coloured Pictures, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

Fool's Paradise; featuring the Many Wonderful Adventures there, as displayed in the bizarre and surprising Peep-Show of Professor Wolley Cobble. Crown 4to, with almost 350 hilarious Colored Illustrations, extra cloth, gilt, 7sh. 6d.

THE PROFESSOR’S LEETLE MUSIC LESSON.

THE PROFESSOR’S LITTLE MUSIC LESSON.


RUSKIN AND CRUIKSHANK.

Ruskin and Cruikshank.

German Popular Stories. Collected by the Brothers Grimm, and Translated by Edgar Taylor. Edited, with an Introduction, by John Ruskin. With 22 Illustration after the inimitable designs of George Cruikshank. Both Series complete. Square crown 8vo, 6s. 6d.; gilt leaves, 7s. 6d.

German Folk Tales. Collected by the Brothers Grimm, and Translated by Edgar Taylor. Edited, with an Introduction, by John Ruskin. With 22 Illustrations based on the unique designs of George Cruikshank. Both Series complete. Square crown 8vo, 6s. 6d.; gilt edges, 7s. 6d.

“The illustrations of this volume... are of quite sterling and admirable art, in a class precisely parallel in elevation to the character of the tales which they illustrate; and the original etchings, as I have before said in the Appendix to my ‘Elements of Drawing,’ were unrivalled in masterfulness of touch since Rembrandt (in some qualities of delineation, unrivalled even by him).... To make somewhat enlarged copies of them, looking at them through a magnifying glass, and never putting two lines where Cruikshank has put only one, would be an exercise in decision and severe drawing which would leave afterwards little to be learnt in schools.”—Extract from Introduction by John Ruskin.

“The illustrations in this volume... are truly exceptional and impressive, matching the high quality of the stories they depict; and the original etchings, as I previously mentioned in the Appendix to my ‘Elements of Drawing,’ were unmatched in skill and detail since Rembrandt (in some aspects of depiction, even surpassing him).... Creating slightly larger copies of them, using a magnifying glass, and never adding two lines where Cruikshank has used just one, would be an exercise in precision and disciplined drawing that would teach very little once you’ve been through art schools.”—Extract from Introduction by John Ruskin.


Golden Treasury of Thought. The Best Encyclopædia of Quotations and Elegant Extracts, from Writers of all Times and all Countries, ever formed. Selected and Edited by Theodore Taylor. Crown 8vo, very handsomely bound, cloth gilt, and gilt edges, 7s. 6d.

Golden Treasury of Ideas. The Best Encyclopedia of Quotes and Elegant Passages, from Writers of all Times and all Countries, ever created. Selected and Edited by Theodore Taylor. Crown 8vo, beautifully bound, cloth gilt, and gilt edges, 7sh. 6d.


Genial Showman; or, Show Life in the New World. Adventures with Artemus Ward, and the Story of his Life. By E.P. Hingston. Third Edition. Crown 8vo, Illustrated by Brunton, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Charming Host; or, Show Life in the New World. Adventures with Artemus Ward, and the Story of his Life. By E.P. Hingston. Third Edition. Crown 8vo, Illustrated by Brunton, extra cloth, 7£ 6p.


The GOLDEN LIBRARY.

The GOLDEN LIBRARY.

Square 16mo (Tauchnitz size), cloth, extra gilt, price 2s. per vol.

Square 16mo (Tauchnitz size), cloth, extra gold, price 2s. per vol.

Clerical Anecdotes: The Humours and Eccentricities of “the Cloth.”

Clerical Stories: The Quirks and Oddities of “the Cloth.”


Holmes’s Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. With an Introduction by George Augustus Sala.

Holmes's Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. With an Introduction by George Augustus Sala.


Holmes’s Professor at the Breakfast Table. With the Story of Iris.

Holmes's Professor at the Breakfast Table. With the Iris's Story.


Hood’s Whims and Oddities. Both Series complete in One Volume, with all the original Illustrations.

Hood's Curiosities and Peculiarities. Both Series complete in One Volume, with all the original Illustrations.


Lamb’s Essays of Elia. Both Series complete in One Volume.

Lamb's Essays of Elia. Both Series complete in One Volume.


Leigh Hunt’s Essays: A Tale for a Chimney Corner, and other Pieces. With Portrait, and Introduction by Edmund Ollier.

Leigh Hunt's Essays: A Story for a Fireplace, and other Works. With a Portrait and Introduction by Edmund Ollier.


Shelley’s Early Poems: Queen Mab, &c. Reprinted from the Author’s Original Editions. With Essay by Leigh Hunt. (First Series of his Works.)

Shelley's Early Poems: Queen Mab, etc. Reprinted from the Author’s Original Editions. With an Essay by Leigh Hunt. (First Series of his Works.)


Shelley’s Later Poems: Laon and Cythna, the Cenci, and other Pieces. Reprinted from the Author’s Original Editions. With an Introductory Essay. (Second Series of his Works.)

Shelley’s Later Poems: Laon and Cythna, the Cenci, and other Pieces. Reprinted from the Author’s Original Editions. With an Introductory Essay. (Second Series of his Works.)


Shelley’s Miscellaneous Poems and Prose Works. The Third and Fourth Series, These Two Volumes will include the Posthumous Poems, published by Mrs. Shelley in 1824; the Shelley Papers, published in 1833; the Six Weeks’ Tour (1816); the Notes to “Queen Mab,” &c.; the Marlow and Dublin Pamphlets; “The Wandering Jew,” a Poem; and the two Novels, “Zastrozzi” and “St. Irvyne.” The three last now first included in any edition of Shelley.

Shelley's Miscellaneous Poems and Prose Works. The Third and Fourth Series, These Two Volumes will include the Posthumous Poems, published by Mrs. Shelley in 1824; the Shelley Papers, published in 1833; the Six Weeks’ Tour (1816); the Notes to “Queen Mab,” etc.; the Marlow and Dublin Pamphlets; “The Wandering Jew,” a Poem; and the two Novels, “Zastrozzi” and “St. Irvyne.” The last three are included here for the first time in any edition of Shelley.


Great Condé (The), and the Period of the Fronde: An Historical Sketch. By Walter FitzPatrick. Second Edition, in 2 vols. 8vo, cloth extra, 15s.

Great Condé (The) and the Time of the Fronde: An Historical Sketch. By Walter FitzPatrick. Second Edition, in 2 vols. 8vo, cloth extra, 15s.


Greenwood’s (James) Wilds of London; Being Descriptive Sketches, from the Personal Observations and Experiences of the Writer, of Remarkable Scenes, People, and Places in London. By James Greenwood, the “Lambeth Casual.” With Twelve full-page Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

Greenwood's (James) Wilds of London; A Descriptive Collection Based on the Author's Personal Observations and Experiences of Notable Scenes, People, and Places in London. By James Greenwood, the “Lambeth Casual.” Featuring Twelve Full-Page Illustrations by Alfred Concanen. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, gold, 7s. 6d.


Hall’s (Mrs. S. C.) Sketches of Irish Character.Wooing and Wedding,” “Jack the Shrimp,” “Peter the Prophet,” “Good and Bad Spirits,” “Mabel O’Neil’s Curse,” &c., &c. With numerous Illustrations on Steel and Wood, by Daniel Maclise, R.A., Sir John Gilbert, W. Harvey, and G. Cruikshank. 8vo, pp. 450, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Hall's (Mrs. S. C.) Sketches of Irish Character.Dating and Marriage,” “Jack the Shrimp,” “Peter the Prophet,” “Good and Bad Vibes,” “Mabel O’Neil’s Curse,” etc., etc. With numerous Illustrations on Steel and Wood, by Daniel Maclise, Royal Academician, Sir John Gilbert, W. Harvey, and G. Cruikshank. 8vo, pp. 450, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Irishmen (presumably)

“The Irish sketches of this lady resemble Miss Mitford’s beautiful English Sketches in ‘Our Village,’ but they are far more vigorous and picturesque and bright.”—Blackwood’s Magazine.

“The Irish sketches of this lady are similar to Miss Mitford’s lovely English sketches in ‘Our Village,’ but they’re much more lively, vivid, and colorful.”—Blackwood’s Magazine.


THE MOST COMPLETE HOGARTH EVER PUBLISHED.

THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE HOGARTH EVER PUBLISHED.

Hogarth’s Works: with Life and Anecdotal Descriptions of the Pictures, by John Ireland and John Nichols. The Work includes 160 Engravings, reduced in exact facsimile of the Original Plates, specimens of which have now become very scarce. The whole in Three Series, 8vo, cloth, gilt, 22s. 6d.; or, separately, 7s. 6d. per volume. Each Series is Complete in itself.

Hogarth's Art: with Life and Anecdotal Descriptions of the Pictures, by John Ireland and John Nichols. This collection includes 160 engravings, exactly replicated from the original plates, which have become quite rare. The entire work is divided into three series, 8vo, cloth, gilt, for £2.25; or, sold separately at £0.37 per volume. Each series stands alone.

THE TALKING HAND.

The Speaking Hand.

“Will be a great boon to authors and artists as well as amateurs.... Very cheap and very complete.”—Standard.

“Will be a huge benefit to authors and artists as well as hobbyists.... Very affordable and very comprehensive.”—Standard.

“For all practical purposes the three handsome volumes comprising this edition are equal to a collection of Hogarthian prints. We are quite sure that any one who adds this work to his library will be amply repaid by the inexhaustible charms of its facsimile prints.”—Birmingham Daily Mail.

“For all practical purposes, the three beautiful volumes in this edition are like a set of Hogarth prints. We’re confident that anyone who adds this work to their library will be richly rewarded by the endless appeal of its facsimile prints.”—Birmingham Daily Mail.

“The plates are reduced in size, but yet truthfully reproduced. The best and cheapest edition of Hogarth’s complete works yet brought forward.”—Building News.

“The plates are smaller, but still accurately reproduced. The best and most affordable edition of Hogarth's complete works available now.”—Building News.

“Three very interesting volumes, important and valuable additions to the library. The edition is thoroughly well brought out, and carefully printed on fine paper.”—Art Journal.

“Three very interesting volumes, important and valuable additions to the library. The edition is well-produced and carefully printed on high-quality paper.” —Art Journal.


Hogarth’s Five Days’ Frolic; or, Peregrinations by Land and Water. Illustrated with Tinted Drawings, made by Hogarth and Scott during the Journey. 4to, beautifully printed, cloth, extra gilt, 10s. 6d.

Hogarth’s Five Days of Fun; or, Travels by Land and Water. Illustrated with Colored Drawings made by Hogarth and Scott during the Trip. 4to, beautifully printed, cloth, extra gilt, 10s. 6d.

*** A graphic and most extraordinary picture of the hearty English times in which these merry artists lived.

*** A vivid and truly extraordinary depiction of the lively English era in which these joyful artists thrived.


Hogg’s Jacobite Relics of Scotland: Being the Songs, Airs, and Legends of the Adherents to the House of Stuart. Collected and Illustrated by James Hogg. In 2 vols. Vol. I., a Facsimile of the original Edition; Vol. II., the original Edition. 8vo, cloth, 28s.

Hogg’s Jacobite Artifacts of Scotland: Featuring the Songs, Tunes, and Stories of the Supporters of the House of Stuart. Compiled and Illustrated by James Hogg. In 2 volumes. Vol. I., a Facsimile of the original Edition; Vol. II., the original Edition. 8vo, cloth, 28s.


Haunted; or, Tales of the Weird and Wonderful. A new and entirely original series of Ghost Stories, by Francis E. Stainforth. Post 8vo, illust. bds., 2s. [Nearly ready.

Haunted; or, Tales of the Weird and Wonderful. A fresh and completely original series of Ghost Stories, by Francis E. Stainforth. Post 8vo, illustrated paperbacks, £2. Almost done.


Hawthorne’s English and American Note Books. Edited, with an Introduction, by Moncure D. Conway. Royal 16mo, paper cover, 1s.; in cloth, 1s. 6d.

Hawthorne's English and American Notebooks. Edited, with an Introduction, by Moncure D. Conway. Royal 16mo, paperback, £1; in hardcover, £1.6.


Hone’s Scrap-Books: The Miscellaneous Writings of William Hone, Author of “The Table-Book,” “Every-Day Book,” and the “Year Book;” being a Supplementary Volume to those works. Now first collected. With Notes, Portraits, and numerous Illustrations of curious and eccentric objects. Crown 8vo, cloth extra. [Preparing.

Hone's Scrapbooks: The Miscellaneous Writings of William Hone, Author of “The Table-Book,” “Every-Day Book,” and the “Year Book;” this is a Supplementary Volume to those works. Now collected for the first time. With Notes, Portraits, and many Illustrations of interesting and quirky objects. Crown 8vo, cloth extra. Preparing.


MR. HORNE’S EPIC.

Mr. Horne’s Epic.

Orion: An Epic Poem, in Three Books. By Richard Hengist Horne. With Photographic Portrait-Frontispiece. Tenth Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s.

Orion: An Epic Poem, in Three Books. By Richard Hengist Horne. With a Photographic Portrait-Frontispiece. 10th Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s.

“Orion will be admitted, by every man of genius, to be one of the noblest, if not the very noblest poetical work of the age. Its defects are trivial and conventional, its beauties intrinsic and supreme.”—Edgar Allan Poe.

“Orion will be recognized by every genius as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, poetic works of our time. Its flaws are minor and typical, while its beauty is inherent and exceptional.” —Edgar Allan Poe.


dancing fairies

Hunt’s (Robert) Drolls of Old Cornwall; or, Popular Romances of the West of England. With Illustrations by George Cruikshank. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

Hunt's (Robert) Humorous Tales of Old Cornwall; or, Popular Love Stories from the West of England. With Illustrations by George Cruikshank. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, gilt, 7shillings 6pence

*** “Mr. Hunt’s charming book of the Drolls and Stories of the West of England.”—Saturday Review.

*** “Mr. Hunt’s delightful book of the funny tales and stories from the West of England.”—Saturday Review.


Irish Guide.—How to Spend a Month in Ireland. Being a complete Guide to the Country, with an Appendix containing information as to the Fares between the Principal Towns in England and Ireland, and as to Tourist Arrangements for the Season. With a Map and 80 Illustrations. By Sir Cusack P. Roney. A New Edition, Edited by Mrs. J. H. Riddell. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, price 1s. 6d.

Irish Guide — How to Spend a Month in Ireland. This is a complete guide to the country, with an appendix that includes information on fares between the main towns in England and Ireland, along with tourist arrangements for the season. It comes with a map and 80 illustrations. By Sir Cusack P. Roney. A new edition, edited by Mrs. J.H. Riddell. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, price 1s. 6d.


medal or coin

Jennings’ (Hargrave) One of the Thirty. With curious Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 10s. 6d.

Jennings' (Hargrave) One of the Thirty. With interesting Illustrations. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 10s. 6d.

Jennings’ (Hargrave) The Rosicrucians: Their Rites and Mysteries. With Chapters on the Ancient Fire and Serpent Worshippers and Explanations of Mystic Symbols in Monuments and Talismans of Primeval Philosophers. Crown 8vo, 300 Illustrations, 10s. 6d.

Jennings' (Hargrave) The Rosicrucians: Their Rites and Mysteries. With Chapters on the Ancient Fire and Serpent Worshippers and Explanations of Mystic Symbols in Monuments and Talismans of Early Philosophers. Crown 8vo, 300 Illustrations, 10s. 6d.


Jerrold’s (Blanchard) Cent. per Cent. A Story Written on a Bill Stamp. A New Edition. Fcap. 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

Jerrold’s (Blanchard) Cent. per Cent. A Story Written on a Bill Stamp. A New Edition. Fcap. 8vo, illustrated covers, 2s.


NEW WORK BY DOUGLAS JERROLD.

NEW WORK BY DOUGLAS JERROLD.

Jerrold’s (Douglas) The Barber’s Chair, and The Hedgehog Letters. Now first collected. Edited, with an Introduction, by his Son, Blanchard Jerrold. Crown 8vo, with Steel Plate Portrait from his Bust, engraved by W. H. Mote, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Jerrold’s (Douglas) The Barber's Chair, and The Hedgehog Letters. Now collected for the first time. Edited, with an Introduction, by his Son, Blanchard Jerrold. Crown 8vo, with a steel plate portrait from his bust, engraved by W. H. Mote, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

“No library is complete without Douglas Jerrold’s Works; ergo, no library is complete without the ‘Barber’s Chair.’ A delightful volume; the papers are most amusing; they abound with sly touches of sarcasm; they are full of playful wit and fancy.”—Pictorial World.

“No library is complete without Douglas Jerrold’s Works; therefore, no library is complete without the ‘Barber’s Chair.’ It’s a delightful book; the essays are very entertaining; they are filled with clever sarcasm and playful humor and imagination.”—Pictorial World.

“An amusing volume, full of Douglas Jerrold’s well-known sharpness and repartee.”—Daily News.

“An entertaining book, filled with Douglas Jerrold’s signature wit and clever comebacks.”—Daily News.

“Better fitted than any other of his productions to give an idea of Douglas Jerrold’s amazing wit; the ‘Barber’s Chair’ may be presumed to give as near an approach as is possible in print to the wit of Jerrold’s conversation.”—Examiner.

“Better suited than any of his other works to showcase Douglas Jerrold’s incredible wit, the ‘Barber’s Chair’ is likely the closest you can get in print to the humor found in Jerrold’s conversations.”—Examiner.


Jerrold’s (Douglas) Brownrigg Papers: The Actress at the Duke’s; Baron von Boots; Christopher Snubb; The Tutor Fiend and his Three Pupils; Papers of a Gentleman at Arms, &c. By Douglas Jerrold. Edited by his Son, Blanchard Jerrold. Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

Jerrold Brownrigg Papers: The Actress at the Duke’s; Baron von Boots; Christopher Snubb; The Tutor Fiend and his Three Pupils; Papers of a Gentleman at Arms, etc. By Douglas Jerrold. Edited by his Son, Blanchard Jerrold. Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.


Kalendars of Gwynedd. Compiled by Edward Breese, F.S.A. With Notes by William Watkin Edward Wynne, Esq., F.S.A. Demy 4to, cloth extra, 28s.

Gwynedd's Calendars. Compiled by Edward Breese, F.S.A. With Notes by William Watkin Edward Wynne, Esq., F.S.A. Demy 4to, extra cloth, 28s.


Lamb’s (Charles) Complete Works, in Prose and Verse, including the two Series of Elia, with the cancelled passages restored, as first printed in the “London Magazine,” together with “Satan in Search of a Wife,” and other Poems and Humorous Pieces, now first collected. Illustrated with Two Portraits. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, price 7s. 6d.

Lamb's Complete Works, in Prose and Verse, including both Series of Elia, with the deleted sections restored, as originally published in the “London Magazine,” along with “Satan in Search of a Wife,” and other Poems and Humorous Pieces, now collected for the first time. Illustrated with Two Portraits. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, price 7s. 6d.


ROSAMUND GRAY’S COTTAGE.

Rosamund Gray's Cottage.

Lamb (Mary & Charles): Their Poems, Letters, and Remains. Now first collected, with Reminiscences and Notes, by W. Carew Hazlitt. With Hancock’s Portrait of the Essayist, Facsimiles of the Title-pages of the rare First Editions of Lamb’s and Coleridge’s Works, Facsimile of a Page of the Original MS. of the “Essay on Roast Pig,” and numerous Illustrations of Lamb’s Favourite Haunts. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 10s. 6d.; Large-paper Copies 21s.

Lamb (Mary & Charles): Their Poems, Letters, and Remains. Now collected for the first time, with Reminiscences and Notes, by W. Carew Hazlitt. Featuring Hancock’s Portrait of the Essayist, facsimiles of the title pages of the rare first editions of Lamb’s and Coleridge’s works, a facsimile of a page of the original manuscript of the “Essay on Roast Pig,” and numerous illustrations of Lamb’s favorite haunts. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 10s. 6d.; Large Format Prints 21s.

“Mr. W. C. Hazlitt has published a very pretty and interesting little volume. It has many pictorial illustrations, which were supplied by Mr. Camden Hotten; and, above all, it contains a facsimile of the first page of Elia on ‘Roast Pig.’ It is well got up, and has a good portrait of Elia. There are also some letters and poems of Mary Lamb which are not easily accessible elsewhere.”—Westminster Review.

“Mr. W. C. Hazlitt has published a very charming and engaging little book. It includes many illustrations provided by Mr. Camden Hotten; and, most notably, it features a facsimile of the first page of Elia on ‘Roast Pig.’ It is well produced and has a nice portrait of Elia. There are also some letters and poems by Mary Lamb that are not easily found elsewhere.”—Westminster Review.

“Must be consulted by all future biographers of the Lambs.”—Daily News.

“Must be consulted by all future biographers of the Lambs.”—Daily News.

“Tells us a good deal that is interesting and something that is fairly new.”—Graphic.

“Tells us a lot of interesting things that are pretty new.”—Graphic.

“Very many passages will delight those fond of literary trifles; hardly any portion will fail to have its interest for lovers of Charles Lamb and his sister.”—Standard.

“Many sections will please those who enjoy literary tidbits; almost any part will catch the interest of fans of Charles Lamb and his sister.”—Standard.

“Mr. Hazlitt’s work is very important and valuable, and all lovers of Elia will thank him for what he has done.”—Sunday Times.

“Mr. Hazlitt’s work is very important and valuable, and all fans of Elia will be grateful for what he has done.”—Sunday Times.

“Will be joyfully received by all Lambites.”—Globe.

“Will be joyfully welcomed by all Lambites.”—Globe.


Lee (General Edward): His Life and Campaigns. By his Nephew, Edward Lee Childe. With Portrait and Plans. 1 vol. Crown 8vo. [In preparation.

Lee (Gen. Edward): His Life and Campaigns. By his Nephew, Edward Lee Childe. With Portrait and Plans. 1 vol. Crown 8vo. In progress.


Life in London; or, The Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn and Corinthian Tom. With the whole of Cruikshank’s very Droll Illustrations, in Colours, after the Originals. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Living in London; or, The Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn and Corinthian Tom. With all of Cruikshank’s hilarious illustrations, in color, based on the originals. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.


Literary Scraps. A Folio Scrap-Book of 340 columns, with guards, for the reception of Cuttings from Newspapers, Extracts, Miscellanea, &c. In folio, half-roan, 7s. 6d.

Literary Fragments. A Folio Scrapbook of 340 pages, with protective sheets, designed for collecting cuttings from newspapers, excerpts, miscellaneous items, etc. In folio, half-roan, 7s. 6d.


Little London Directory of 1677. The Oldest Printed List of the Merchants and Bankers of London Reprinted from the Rare Original, with an Introduction by John Camden Hotten. 16mo, binding after the original, 6s. 6d.

Little London Directory, 1677. The Oldest Printed List of the Merchants and Bankers of London Reprinted from the Rare Original, with an Introduction by John Camden Hotten. 16mo, binding after the original, 6s. 6d.


rocks and stormy water

Longfellow’s Prose Works, complete, including “Outre-Mer,” “Hyperion,” “Kavanagh,” “Drift-wood,” “On the Poets and Poetry of Europe.” With Portrait and Illustrations by Bromley. 800 pages, crown 8vo, cloth gilt, 7s. 6d.

Longfellow's Prose Works, complete, including “Outre-Mer,” “Hyperion,” “Kavanagh,” “Driftwood,” “On the Poets and Poetry of Europe.” With a portrait and illustrations by Bromley. 800 pages, crown 8vo, cloth gilt, 7shillings. 6pence.

*** The reader will find the present edition of Longfellow’s Prose Writings by far the most complete ever issued in this country. “Outre-Mer” contains two additional chapters, restored from the first edition; while “The Poets and Poetry of Europe,” and the little collection of Sketches entitled “Driftwood,” are now first introduced to the English public.

*** This edition of Longfellow’s Prose Writings is the most complete ever published in this country. “Outre-Mer” includes two extra chapters added back in from the first edition, while “The Poets and Poetry of Europe” and the small collection of sketches called “Driftwood” are being presented to the English public for the first time.


Linton’s (Mrs. E. Lynn) True History of Joshua Davidson, Christian and Communist. Sixth Edition, with a New Preface. Small crown 8vo, cloth extra, 4s. 6d.

Linton’s (Mrs. E. Lynn) True History of Joshua Davidson, Christian and Communist. Sixth Edition, with a New Preface. Small crown 8vo, cloth extra, 4s. 6d.

“In a short and vigorous preface, Mrs. Linton defends, in certain points, her notion of the logical outcome of Christianity as embodied in this attempt to conceive how Christ would have acted, with whom He would have fraternised, and who would have declined to receive Him, had He appeared in the present generation.”—Examiner.

“In a brief and passionate introduction, Mrs. Linton argues, in some respects, her idea of the logical result of Christianity as shown in this effort to imagine how Christ would have acted, who He would have connected with, and who would have rejected Him, if He had come in today's world.”—Examiner.


MRS. LYNN LINTON’S NEW NOVEL.

MRS. LYNN LINTON'S LATEST NOVEL.

Patricia Kemball: A Novel. By E. Lynn Linton, Author of “Lizzie Lorton of Greyrigg,” &c. In Three Vols., crown 8vo, price 31s. 6d. [On Nov. 15.

Pat Kemball: A Novel. By E. Lynn Linton, Author of “Lizzie Lorton of Greyrigg,” etc. In Three Volumes, crown 8vo, price 31sh. 6d. On November 15.


Lost Beauties of the English Language. An Appeal to Authors, Poets, Clergymen, and Public Speakers. By Charles Mackay, LL. D. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s. 6d.

Lost Beauties of the English Language. An Appeal to Authors, Poets, Clergymen, and Public Speakers. By Charles Mackay, LL. D. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6£ 6d


hoof and ladies' shoe

Madre Natura versus The Moloch of Fashion. A Social Essay. By Luke Limner. With 32 Illustrations by the Author. Fourth Edition, revised, corrected, and enlarged. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, red edges, price 2s. 6d.

Mother Nature vs. The Moloch of Fashion. A Social Essay. By Luke Limner. With 32 Illustrations by the Author. 4th Edition, revised, corrected, and enlarged. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, red edges, price 2s. 6d.

“Bravo, Luke Limner! In this treatise, aptly and ably illustrated, the well-known artist scathingly exposes the evils of the present fashions—more especially of tight-lacing. Girls should be made to learn it by heart, and act on its precepts.”—Fun.

“Great job, Luke Limner! In this well-illustrated essay, the renowned artist sharply points out the problems with current trends—especially tight-lacing. Girls should memorize it and follow its advice.”—Fun.

“Agreeably written and amusingly illustrated. Common sense and erudition are brought to bear on the subjects discussed in it.”—Lancet.

“Well-written and entertainingly illustrated. Common sense and knowledge are applied to the topics covered in it.”—Lancet.

“A fanciful little volume. A thing to read, and in parts very amusing.”—Judy.

“A whimsical little book. Something to read, and parts of it are quite entertaining.”—Judy.

“Luke Limner’s amusing and instructive book is calculated to do not a little good.”—Echo.

“Luke Limner’s entertaining and educational book is designed to do quite a bit of good.”—Echo.


Magna Charta. An exact Facsimile of the Original Document, preserved in the British Museum, very carefully drawn, and printed on fine plate paper, nearly 3 feet long by 2 feet wide, with the Arms and Seals of the Barons elaborately emblazoned in Gold and Colours, A.D. 1215. Price 5s.; or, handsomely framed and glazed, in carved oak, of an antique pattern, 22s. 6d.

Magna Carta. A precise replica of the original document, kept in the British Museum, meticulously drawn and printed on high-quality plate paper, nearly 3 feet long and 2 feet wide, featuring the coats of arms and seals of the barons beautifully illustrated in gold and colors, CE 1215. Price 5s.; or, elegantly framed and glazed in carved oak of a vintage style, 22s. 6d.

A full Translation, with Notes, printed on a large sheet, price 6d.

A complete translation, with notes, printed on a large sheet, price 6d.


AUTHOR’S CORRECTED EDITION.

AUTHOR'S UPDATED EDITION.

Mark Twain’s Choice Works. Revised and Corrected throughout by the Author. With Life, Portrait, and numerous Illustrations. 700 pages, cloth extra gilt, 7s. 6d.

Mark Twain's Best Works. Updated and Edited by the Author. Featuring a Biography, Portrait, and many Illustrations. 700 pages, fancy cloth cover, £7.6.


Mark Twain’s Pleasure Trip on the Continent of Europe, With Frontispiece. 500 pages, illustrated boards, 2s.; or cloth extra, 2s. 6d.

Mark Twain’s Enjoyable Journey Across Europe, With Frontispiece. 500 pages, illustrated boards, £2; or cloth extra, £2.50


Marston’s (Dr. Westland) Poetical and Dramatic Works. A New and Collected Edition is now in preparation.

Marston’s (Dr. Westland) Poetry and Plays. A new collected edition is currently being prepared.


MR. PHILIP MARSTON’S POEMS.

Mr. Philip Marston's Poetry.

Song Tide, and other Poems. By Philip Bourke Marston. Second Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 8s.

Song Wave, and Other Poems. By Philip Bourke Marston. Second Edition. Crown 8vo, hardcover, 8s.

“This is a first work of extraordinary performance and of still more extraordinary promise. The youngest school of English poetry has received an important accession to its ranks in Philip Bourke Marston.”—Examiner.

“This is an impressive debut with even greater potential. The newest group in English poetry has gained a significant new member in Philip Bourke Marston.” —Examiner.

“Mr. Marston has fairly established his claim to be heard as a poet.... His present volume is well worthy of careful perusal, as the utterance of a poetic, cultivated mind.”—Standard.

“Mr. Marston has rightly established his claim to be recognized as a poet.... His current collection is definitely worth a close read, as it reflects the voice of a poetic, cultured mind.” —Standard.

“We have spoken plainly of some defects in the poetry before us, but we have read much of it with interest, and even admiration.”—Pall Mall Gazette.

“We have talked openly about some flaws in the poetry we’ve reviewed, but we have also read much of it with interest and even admiration.”—Pall Mall Gazette.


All in All: Poems and Sonnets. By Philip Bourke Marston. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 8s.

Overall: Poems and Sonnets. By Philip Bourke Marston. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 8s.


Mayhew’s London Characters: Illustrations of the Humour, Pathos, and Peculiarities of London Life. By Henry Mayhew, Author of “London Labour and the London Poor,” and other Writers. With nearly 100 graphic Illustrations by W. S. Gilbert, and others. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.

Mayhew's London Profiles: Illustrations of the Humor, Pathos, and Uniqueness of London Life. By Henry Mayhew, Author of “London Labor and the London Poor,” and other Writers. With nearly 100 graphic Illustrations by W. S. Gilbert, and others. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.

“Well fulfils the promise of its title.... The book is an eminently interesting one, and will probably attract many readers.”—Court Circular.

“Well fulfills the promise of its title.... The book is really interesting and will likely draw in many readers.”—Court Circular.


Memorials of Manchester Streets. By Richard Wright Procter. With an Appendix, containing “The Chetham Library,” by James Crossley, F.S.A.; and “Old Manchester and its Worthies,” by James Croston, F.S.A. Demy 8vo, cloth extra, with Photographic Frontispiece and numerous Illustrations, 15s.

Manchester Streets Memorials. By Richard Wright Procter. It includes an Appendix featuring “The Chetham Library,” by James Crossley, FSA; and “Old Manchester and its Worthies,” by James Croston, FSA Demy 8vo, extra cloth, with a Photographic Frontispiece and many Illustrations, 15s.


Monumental Inscriptions of the West Indies, from the Earliest Date, with Genealogical and Historical Annotations, &c., from Original, Local, and other Sources. Illustrative of the Histories and Genealogies of the Seventeenth Century, the Calendars of State Papers, Peerages, and Baronetages. With Engravings of the Arms of the principal Families. Chiefly collected on the spot by the Author, Capt. J. H. Lawrence-Archer. Demy 4to, cloth extra, 42.s. [Nearly ready.

Monumental Inscriptions of the West Indies, from the Earliest Dates, with Genealogical and Historical Notes, etc., from Original, Local, and Other Sources. Illustrative of the Histories and Genealogies of the Seventeenth Century, the Calendars of State Papers, Peerages, and Baronetages. With Illustrations of the Crests of the Main Families. Primarily collected on-site by the Author, Capt. J.H. Lawrence-Archer. Demy 4to, extra cloth, 42.s. Almost ready.


Muses of Mayfair: Vers de Société of the Nineteenth Century. The best Society-Verses of the most important Writers of the last 80 years, including Tennyson, Browning, Swinburne, Rossetti, Jean Ingelow, Locker, Ingoldsby, Hood, Lytton, C. S. C., Landor, Henry S. Leigh, and very many others. Edited by H. Cholmondeley-Pennell, Author of “Puck on Pegasus.” Beautifully printed, cloth extra gilt, gilt edges, uniform with “The Golden Treasury of Thought,” 7s. 6d.

Mayfair Muses: Society Poems of the Nineteenth Century. The best society poems from the most significant writers of the last 80 years, including Tennyson, Browning, Swinburne, Rossetti, Jean Ingelow, Locker room, Ingoldsby, Hood, Lytton, C.S.C., Landor, Henry S. Leigh, and many others. Edited by H. Cholmondeley-Pennell, author of “Puck on Pegasus.” Beautifully printed, cloth with extra gilt, gilt edges, uniform with “The Golden Treasury of Thought,” 7s. 6d.


MR. O’SHAUGHNESSY’S POEMS.

**Mr. O'Shaughnessy's Poems.**

Music and Moonlight: Poems and Songs. By Arthur O’Shaughnessy, Author of “An Epic of Women.” Fcap. 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Music and Moonlight: Poems and Songs. By Arthur O'Shaughnessy, Author of “An Epic of Women.” Fcap. 8vo, cloth extra, 7sh. 6d.

“It is difficult to say which is more exquisite, the technical perfection of structure and melody, or the delicate pathos of thought. Mr. O’Shaughnessy will enrich our literature with some of the very best songs written in our generation.”—Academy.

“It’s hard to say what’s more remarkable, the flawless structure and melody, or the subtle depth of feeling in the lyrics. Mr. O’Shaughnessy will enhance our literature with some of the best songs of our time.”—Academy.


An Epic of Women, and other Poems. Second Edition. Fcap. 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.

A Women’s Epic, and other Poems. Second Edition. Fcap. 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.

“Of the formal art of poetry he is in many senses quite a master; his metres are not only good,—they are his own, and often of an invention most felicitous as well as careful.”—Academy.

“Regarding the formal art of poetry, he is quite the master in many ways; his rhythms are not just good—they're uniquely his, often showing a clever and thoughtful originality.” —Academy.


Lays of France. (Founded on the “Lays of Marie.”) Second Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 10s. 6d.

Songs of France. (Based on the “Lays of Marie.”) Second Edition. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 10sh. 6d.

“As we have before remarked in noticing an earlier volume of his, this modern votary of Marie has, in imaginative power, keen intuition, and ear, a genuine claim to be writing poetry, as things go now.... And Mr. O’S. is also an accomplished master in those peculiar turns of rhythm which are designed to reproduce the manner of the mediæval originals.”—Saturday Review.

“As we mentioned earlier in discussing one of his previous works, this contemporary admirer of Marie has a true talent for writing poetry, with his imaginative ability, sharp intuition, and musical ear... Additionally, Mr. O’S. is a skilled expert in those unique rhythmic patterns meant to mimic the style of medieval originals.”—Saturday Review.


Mystery of the Good Old Cause: Sarcastic Notices of those Members of the Long Parliament that held Places, both Civil and Military, contrary to the Self-denying Ordinance of April 3, 1645; with the Sums of Money and Lands they divided among themselves. Small 4to, half-morocco, 7s. 6d.

Mystery of the Good Old Cause: Sarcastic comments about those members of the Long Parliament who held positions, both civil and military, in violation of the Self-denying Ordinance of April 3, 1645; along with the amounts of money and land they shared among themselves. Small 4to, half-morocco, 7s. 6d.


Napoleon III., the Man of His Time; from Caricatures. Part I. The Story of the Life of Napoleon III., as told by J. M. Haswell. Part II. The Same Story, as told by the Popular Caricatures of the past Thirty-five Years. Crown 8vo, with Coloured Frontispiece and over 100 Caricatures, 7s. 6d.

Napoleon III, the Man of His Era; from Caricatures. Part I. The Life Story of Napoleon III., as told by J.M. Haswell. Part II. The Same Story, as told by the Popular Cartoons of the past thirty-five years. Crown 8vo, with Colored Frontispiece and over 100 Caricatures, 7sh. 6d.


Original Lists of Persons of Quality; Emigrants; Religious Exiles; Political Rebels; Serving Men Sold for a Term of Years; Apprentices; Children Stolen; Maidens Pressed; and others who went from Great Britain to the American Plantations, 1600-1700. With their Ages, the Localities where they formerly Lived in the Mother Country, Names of the Ships in which they embarked, and other interesting particulars. From MSS. preserved in the State Paper Department of Her Majesty’s Public Record Office, England. Edited by John Camden Hotten. A very handsome volume, crown 4to, cloth gilt, 700 pages, 38s. A few Large Paper copies have been printed, price 60s.

Notable Individuals Lists; Emigrants; Religious Exiles; Political Rebels; Indentured Servants; Apprentices; Abducted Children; Pressed Maidens; and others who left Great Britain for the American colonies, 1600-1700. Including their ages, the places they lived in the UK, the names of the ships they traveled on, and other fascinating details. From manuscripts kept in the State Paper Department of Her Majesty’s Public Record Office, England. Edited by John Camden Hotten. A stylish volume, crown 4to, cloth gilt, 700 pages, 38s. A limited number of Large Paper copies have been printed, price 60s.


THE OLD DRAMATISTS.

THE CLASSIC PLAYWRIGHTS.

Ben Jonson’s Works. With Notes, Critical and Explanatory, and a Biographical Memoir by William Gifford. Edited by Lieut.-Col. Francis Cunningham. Complete in 3 vols., crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6s. each.

The Works of Ben Jonson. With notes that are critical and explanatory, plus a biographical memoir by William Gifford. Edited by Lieut.-Col. Francis Cunningham. Complete in 3 volumes, crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with portrait, priced at 6s. each.


George Chapman’s Plays, Complete, from the Original Quartos, including those Plays in which he was only partly concerned. Edited by Richard Herne Shepherd. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait Frontispiece, price 6s.

George Chapman's Plays, Complete, from the Original Quartos, including those Plays in which he was only partly involved. Edited by Richard Herne Shepherd. Crown 8vo, extra gilt cloth, with Portrait Frontispiece, price 6s.


George Chapman’s Poems and Minor Translations. Complete, including some Pieces now first printed. With an Essay on the Dramatic and Poetical Works of George Chapman, by Algernon Charles Swinburne. Crown 8vo, with Frontispiece, cloth extra, 6s.

George Chapman’s Poems and Minor Translations. Complete, including some pieces printed for the first time. With an essay on the dramatic and poetic works of George Chapman, by Algernon Swinburne. Crown 8vo, with frontispiece, extra cloth, £6.


George Chapman’s Translations of Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. Edited by Richard Herne Shepherd. In one volume, crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.

George Chapman’s Translations of Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. Edited by Richard Herne Shepherd. In one volume, crown 8vo, hard cover, 6s.


Christopher Marlowe’s Works; Including his Translations. Edited, with Notes and Introduction, by Lieut.-Col. F. Cunningham. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6s.

Marlowe's Works; Including his Translations. Edited, with Notes and Introduction, by Lieut.-Col. F. Cunningham. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6s.


Philip Massinger’s Plays. From the Text of Wm. Gifford. With the addition of the Tragedy of “Believe as You List.” Edited by Lieut.-Col. Francis Cunningham. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6s.

Philip Massinger's Plays. From the Text of Wm. Gifford. With the addition of the Tragedy of “Believe as You List.” Edited by Lieut.-Col. Francis Cunningham. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6s.


OLD BOOKS—FACSIMILE REPRINTS.

OLD BOOKS—REPRINTS.

Rump (The); or, An Exact Collection of the choicest Poems and Songs relating to the late Times, and continued by the most eminent Wits; from Anno 1639 to 1661. A Facsimile Reprint of the rare Original Edition (London, 1662), with Frontispiece and Engraved Title-page. In 2 vols., large fcap. 8vo, printed on antique laid paper, and bound in antique boards, 17s. 6d.

Rump; or, A Complete Collection of the Best Poetry and Tracks from Recent Times, featuring contributions from the most notable Writers; from the Year 1639 to 1661. A Facsimile Reprint of the rare Original Edition (London, 1662), including a Frontispiece and Engraved Title-page. In 2 volumes, large fcap. 8vo, printed on antique laid paper, and bound in vintage boards, priced at 17s. 6d.


D’Urfey’s (“Tom”) Wit and Mirth; or, Pills to Purge Melancholy: Being a Collection of the best Merry Ballads and Songs, Old and New. Fitted to all Humours, having each their proper Tune for either Voice or Instrument: most of the Songs being new set. London: Printed by W. Pearson, for J. Tonson, at Shakespeare’s Head, over-against Catherine Street in the Strand, 1719. An exact reprint. In 6 vols., large fcap. 8vo, antique boards, edges uncut, beautifully printed on laid paper, made expressly for the work, £3 3s.

D’Urfey’s (“Tom”) Humor and Fun; or, Pills to Cure Sadness: A collection of the best cheerful ballads and songs, both old and new. Suitable for all moods, with each having its own tune for either voice or instrument: most of the songs are newly arranged. London: Printed by W. Pearson, for J. Tonson, at Shakespeare’s Head, opposite Catherine Street in the Strand, 1719. An exact reprint. In 6 volumes, large fcap. 8vo, antique boards, uncut edges, beautifully printed on laid paper, specifically made for this work, £3 3s.


Musarum Deliciæ; or, The Muses’ Recreation, 1656; Wit Restor’d, 1658; and Wit’s Recreations, 1640. The whole compared with the originals; with all the Wood Engravings, Plates, Memoirs, and Notes. A New Edition, in 2 vols., post 8vo, beautifully printed on antique laid paper, and bound in antique boards, 21s.

Delights of the Muses; or, The Muses’ Recreation, 1656; Wit Restor’d, 1658; and Wit’s Recreations, 1640. The complete collection compared to the originals; featuring all the wood engravings, plates, memoirs, and notes. A new edition, in 2 volumes, post 8vo, beautifully printed on antique laid paper, and bound in antique boards, 21s.


English Rogue (The), described in the Life of Meriton Latroon, and other Extravagants, comprehending the most Eminent Cheats of both Sexes. By Richard Head and Francis Kirkman. A Facsimile Reprint of the rare Original Edition (1665-1672), with Frontispiece, Facsimiles of the 12 copper plates, and Portraits of the Authors. In 4 volumes, large foolscap 8vo, beautifully printed on antique laid paper, made expressly, and bound in antique boards, 36s.

The English Scoundrel, detailed in the Life of Meriton Latroon, and other Extravagants, featuring the most Notable Cheats of both Genders. By Richard Head and Francis Kirkman. A Facsimile Reprint of the rare Original Edition (1665-1672), with Frontispiece, Facsimiles of the 12 copper plates, and Portraits of the Authors. In 4 volumes, large foolscap 8vo, beautifully printed on antique laid paper, made specifically, and bound in antique boards, £36.


Ireland Forgeries.—Confessions of William-Henry Ireland. Containing the Particulars of his Fabrication of the Shakspeare Manuscripts; together with Anecdotes and Opinions (hitherto unpublished) of many Distinguished Persons in the Literary, Political, and Theatrical World. A Facsimile Reprint from the Original Edition, with several additional Facsimiles. Fcap. 8vo, printed on antique laid paper, and bound in antique boards, 10s. 6d.; a few Large Paper copies, at 21s.

Ireland Forgeries.—Confessions of William-Henry Ireland. This book includes the details of how he created the Shakespeare manuscripts, along with anecdotes and opinions (previously unpublished) from many notable figures in the literary, political, and theatrical worlds. This is a facsimile reprint of the original edition, featuring several additional facsimiles. Fcap. 8vo, printed on antique laid paper, and bound in antique boards, price 10s. 6d.; a limited number of large paper copies available for 21s.


Grose’s Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. 1785. An unmutilated Reprint of the First Edition. Quarto, bound in half-Roxburghe, gilt top, price 8s.

Grose’s Dictionary of the Slang Language. 1785. A complete reprint of the first edition. Quarto, bound in half-Roxburghe, gilt top, price 8s.


Joe Miller’s Jests; the politest Repartees, most elegant Bon-Mots, and most pleasing short Stories in the English Language. London; printed by T. Read, 1739. A Facsimile of the Original Edition. 8vo, half-morocco, 9s. 6d.

Joe Miller's Jokes; the most polite comebacks, elegant remarks, and delightful short stories in English. London; printed by T. Read, 1739. A Facsimile of the Original Edition. 8vo, half-morocco, 9s. 6d.


Old Prose Stories whence Tennyson’s “Idylls of the King” were taken. By B. M. Ranking. Royal 16mo, paper cover, 1s.; cloth extra, 1s. 6d.

Classic Prose Stories from which Tennyson's “Idylls of the King” were adapted. By B. M. Ranking. Royal 16mo, paper cover, £1; cloth extra, £1.6.


OLD SHEKARRY’S WORKS.

OLD SHEKARRY’S WORKS.

Forest and Field: Life and Adventure in Wild Africa. By the Old Shekarry. With Eight Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.

Forest and Field: Life and Adventure in Wild Africa. By the Old Hunter. With Eight Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.


Wrinkles; or, Hints to Sportsmen and Travellers upon Dress, Equipment, Armament, and Camp Life. By the Old Shekarry. A New Edition, with Illustrations. Small crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 6s.

Fine lines; or, Tips for Sportsmen and Travelers on Clothing, Gear, Weapons, and Camping Life. By the Old Shekarry. A New Edition, with Illustrations. Small crown 8vo, extra cloth, gilt, 6s.


OUIDA’S NOVELS.

OUIDA'S BOOKS.

Uniform Edition, each Complete in One Volume, crown 8vo, red cloth extra, price 5s. each.

Uniform Edition, each complete in one volume, crown 8vo, red cloth extra, price 5s. each.

Folle Farine.

Folle Flour.

Idalia: A Romance.

Idalia: A Love Story.

Chandos: A Novel.

Chandos: A Book.

Under Two Flags.

Under Two Flags.

Cecil Castlemaine’s Gage.

Cecil Castlemaine’s Gage.

Tricotrin: The Story of a Waif and Stray.

Tricotrin: The Story of a Kid and a Runaway.

Pascarèl: Only a Story.

Pascarèl: Just a Story.

Held In Bondage; or, Granville de Vigne.

Held in captivity; or, Granville de Vigne.

Puck: His Vicissitudes, Adventures &c.

Puck: His Ups and Downs, Adventures, etc.

A Dog of Flanders, and other Stories.

A Dog in Flanders, and other Stories.

Strathmore; or, Wrought by his Own Hand.

Strathmore; or, Made by His Own Hand.

Two Little Wooden Shoes.

Two Little Wooden Shoes.


Parochial History of the County of Cornwall. Compiled from the best Authorities, and corrected and improved from actual Survey. 4 vols. 4to, cloth extra, £3 3s. the set; or, separately, the first three volumes, 16s. each; the fourth volume, 18s.

History of the Counties of Cornwall. Compiled from the best sources and updated based on actual surveys. 4 volumes, 4to, extra cloth, £3 3s. for the set; or, separately, the first three volumes at 16s. each; the fourth volume at 18s.


Plain English. By John Hollingshead, of the Gaiety Theatre. Crown 8vo, illust. cover, 1s. [Preparing.

Clear language. By John Hollingshead, of the Gaiety Theatre. Crown 8vo, illustrated cover, 1s. [Getting ready.


Private Book of Useful Alloys and Memoranda for Goldsmiths and Jewellers. By James E. Collins, C.E. Royal 16mo, 3s. 6d.

Private Book of Useful Alloys and Notes for Goldsmiths and Jewelers. By James E. Collins, C.E. Royal 16mo, 3shillings 6pence


Seventh Edition of

7th Edition of

Puck on Pegasus. By H. Cholmondeley-Pennell. Profusely illustrated by the late John Leech, H. K. Browne, Sir Noel Paton, John Millais, John Tenniel, Richard Doyle, Miss Ellen Edwards, and other artists. A New Edition (the Seventh), crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, price 5s.; or gilt edges, 6s.

Puck on Pegasus. By H. Cholmondeley-Pennell. Filled with illustrations by the late John Leech, H.K. Browne, Sir Noel Paton, John Everett Millais, John Tenniel, Richard Doyle, Miss Ellen Edwards, and other artists. A New Edition (the Seventh), crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, price 5s.; or gilt edges, 6s.

“The book is clever and amusing, vigorous and healthy.”—Saturday Review.

“The book is smart and funny, lively and refreshing.”—Saturday Review.

“The epigrammatic drollery of Mr. Cholmondeley-Pennell’s ‘Puck on Pegasus’ is well known to many of our readers.... The present (the sixth) is a superb and handsomely printed and illustrated edition of the book.”—Times.

“The witty and humorous style of Mr. Cholmondeley-Pennell’s ‘Puck on Pegasus’ is well known to many of our readers.... The current (the sixth) edition is a beautifully printed and illustrated version of the book.”—Times.

“Specially fit for reading in the family circle.”—Observer.

“Perfect for reading with the family.”—Observer.


An Awfully Jolly Book for Parties.

A Super Fun Book for Parties.

Puniana: Thoughts Wise and Otherwise. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley. Best Book of Riddles and Puns ever formed. With nearly 100 exquisitely Fanciful Drawings. Contains nearly 3000 of the best Riddles, and 10,000 most outrageous Puns, and is one of the most Popular Books ever issued. New Edition, small quarto, green and gold, gilt edges, price 6s.

Puniana: Thoughts Wise and Otherwise. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley. The best collection of riddles and puns ever compiled. Features nearly 100 beautifully imaginative drawings. Contains almost 3000 of the finest riddles and 10,000 of the most outrageous puns, making it one of the most popular books ever published. New edition, small quarto, green and gold, gilt edges, price 6s.

“Enormous burlesque—unapproachable and pre-eminent. We think this very queer volume will be a favourite. We should suggest that, to a dull person desirous to get credit with the young holiday people, it would be good policy to invest in the book, and dole it out by instalments.”—Saturday Review.

“Massive parody—unique and outstanding. We believe this intriguing book will be a hit. We recommend that, for anyone trying to impress the young holiday crowd, it would be smart to buy this book and share it in bits.” —Saturday Review.

Also,

Also,

More Puniana. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley. Containing nearly 100 beautifully executed Drawings, and a splendid Collection of Riddles and Puns, rivalling those in the First Volume. Small 4to, green and gold, gilt edges, uniform with the First Series, price 6s.

More Puniana. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley. Featuring almost 100 beautifully crafted drawings and an impressive collection of riddles and puns that rival those in the First Volume. Small 4to, green and gold, gilt edges, matching the First Series, price 6s.


knight

Companion to “Cussans’ Heraldry.”

Companion to “Cussans' Heraldry.”

Pursuivant of Arms (The); or, Heraldry founded upon Facts. A Popular Guide to the Science of Heraldry. By J. R. Planché, Esq., F.S.A., Somerset Herald. To which are added, Essays on the Badges of the Houses of Lancaster and York. A New Edition, enlarged and revised by the Author, illustrated with Coloured Frontispiece, five full-page Plates, and about 200 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, beautifully bound in cloth, with Emblematic Design, extra gilt, 7s. 6d.

The Pursuivant of Arms; or, Heraldry Based on Facts. A Popular Guide to the Science of Heraldry. By J.R. Planché, Esq., F.S.A., Somerset Herald. Includes Essays on the Emblems of the Houses of Lancaster and York. A New Edition, expanded and updated by the Author, illustrated with a Colored Frontispiece, five full-page Plates, and about 200 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, beautifully bound in cloth, with an Emblematic Design, extra gilt, 7s. 6d.


Important to all Interested in Mines.

Important for Everyone Interested in Mines.

Practical Assayer: A Guide to Miners and Explorers. By Oliver North. With Tables and Illustrative Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, 7s. 6d.

Practical Analyst: A Guide for Miners and Explorers. By Oliver North. With Tables and Illustrative Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, £7.50.

*** This book gives directions, in the simplest form, for assaying bullion and the baser metals by the cheapest, quickest, and best methods. Those interested in mining property will be enabled, by following its instructions, to form a tolerably correct idea of the value of ores, without previous knowledge of assaying; while to the young man seeking his fortune in mining countries it is indispensable.

*** This book provides straightforward instructions for testing the value of bullion and other metals using the most affordable, quickest, and most effective methods. Those interested in mining properties will be able to get a fairly accurate idea of the worth of ores by following its guidance, even without prior experience in assaying; while for young men looking to make their mark in mining regions, it is essential.

“Likely to prove extremely useful. The instructions are clear and precise.”—Chemist and Druggist.

“Expected to be very helpful. The instructions are clear and straightforward.”—Chemist and Druggist.

“We cordially recommend this compact little volume to all engaged in mining enterprize, and especially to explorers.”—Monetary and Mining Review.

“We warmly recommend this small book to everyone involved in mining ventures, especially to explorers.” —Monetary and Mining Review.

“An admirable little volume.”—Mining Journal.

“An admirable little book.”—Mining Journal.


GUSTAVE DORÉ’S DESIGNS.

GUSTAVE DORÉ'S DESIGNS.

Rabelais’ Works. Faithfully translated from the French, with variorum Notes, and numerous characteristic Illustrations by Gustave Doré. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 700 pages. Price 7s. 6d.

Rabelais’ Writings. Faithfully translated from the French, with various notes and many unique illustrations by Gustave Doré. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 700 pages. Price 7sh. 6d.


Uniform with “Wonderful Characters.”

Uniform featuring “Wonderful Characters.”

Remarkable Trials and Notorious Characters. From “Half-Hanged Smith,” 1700, to Oxford, who shot at the Queen, 1840. By Captain L. Benson. With spirited full-page Engravings by Phiz. 8vo, 550 pages, 7s. 6d.

Amazing Trials and Infamous Characters. From “Half-Hanged Smith,” 1700, to Oxford, who shot at the Queen, 1840. By Captain L. Benson. With lively full-page illustrations by Phiz. 8vo, 550 pages, 7s. 6d.


Rochefoucauld’s Reflections and Moral Maxims. With Introductory Essay by Sainte-Beuve, and Explanatory Notes. Cloth extra, 1s. 6d.

Rochefoucauld’s Reflections and Moral Maxims. With Introductory Essay by Sainte-Beuve, and Explanatory Notes. Hardcover, 1shilling 6pence


Reminiscences of the late Thomas Assheton Smith, Esq.; or, The Pursuits of an English Country Gentleman. By Sir J. E. Eardley Wilmot, Bart. A New and Revised Edition, with Steel-plate Portrait, and plain and coloured Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Memories of the late Thomas Assheton Smith, Esq.; or, The Pursuits of an English Country Gentleman. By Sir J.E. Eardley Wilmot, Bart. A New and Revised Edition, featuring a steel-plate portrait and plain and colored illustrations. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.


Roll of Battle Abbey; or, A List of the Principal Warriors who came over from Normandy with William the Conqueror, and Settled in this Country, A.D. 1066-7. Carefully drawn, and printed on fine plate paper, nearly three feet by two feet, with the Arms of the principal Barons elaborately emblazoned in Gold and Colours. Price 5s.; or, handsomely framed in carved oak of an antique pattern, 22s. 6d.

Battle Abbey Roll; or, A List of the Main Warriors who came over from Normandy with William the Conqueror and Settled in this Country, CE 1066-7. Carefully created and printed on high-quality plate paper, nearly three feet by two feet, with the coats of arms of the main Barons beautifully illustrated in gold and colors. Price 5s.; or, nicely framed in carved oak with an antique design, 22s. 6d.


Roll of Caerlaverock, the Oldest Heraldic Roll; including the Original Anglo-Norman Poem, and an English Translation of the MS. in the British Museum. By Thomas Wright, M.A. The Arms emblazoned in Gold and Colours. In 4to, very handsomely printed, extra gold cloth, 12s.

Caerlaverock Roll, the Oldest Heraldic Roll; including the Original Anglo-Norman Poem, and an English Translation of the manuscript in the British Museum. By Thomas Wright, M.A. The Arms displayed in Gold and Colors. In 4to, beautifully printed, extra gold cloth, 12s.


Roman Catholics in the County of York in 1604. Transcribed from the Original MS. in the Bodleian Library, and Edited, with Genealogical Notes, by Edward Peacock, F.S.A., Editor of “Army Lists of the Roundheads and Cavaliers, 1642.” Small 4to, handsomely printed and bound, 15s.

Roman Catholics in the County of York in 1604. Transcribed from the Original MS. in the Bodleian Library and edited, with genealogical notes, by Edward Peacock, F.S.A., editor of “Army Lists of the Roundheads and Cavaliers, 1642.” Small 4to, nicely printed and bound, 15s.

*** Genealogists and Antiquaries will find much new and curious matter in this work. An elaborate Index refers to every name in the volume, among which will be found many of the highest local interest.

*** Genealogists and historians will discover a wealth of new and intriguing information in this book. A detailed index points to every name in the volume, including many of significant local interest.


Ross’s (Chas. H.) Story of a Honeymoon. A New Edition of this charmingly humorous book, with numerous Illustrations by the Author. Fcap. 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

Ross's (Chas. H.) Story of a Honeymoon. A new edition of this delightfully funny book, featuring many illustrations by the author. Fcap. 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.


School Life at Winchester College; or, The Reminiscences of a Winchester Junior. By the Author of “The Log of the Water Lily;” and “The Water Lily on the Danube.” Second Edition, Revised, Coloured Plates, 7s. 6d.

Life at Winchester College; or, The Memories of a Winchester Junior. By the Author of “The Log of the Water Lily;” and “The Water Lily on the Danube.” Second Edition, Revised, Colored Plates, 7s. 6d.


Schopenhauer’s The World Considered as Will and Imagination. Translated by Dr. Franz Hüffer, Author of “Richard Wagner and the Music of the Future.” [In preparation.

Schopenhauer’s The World Viewed as Will and Imagination. Translated by Dr. Franz Hüffer, Author of “Richard Wagner and the Music of the Future.” In progress.


THE “SECRET OUT” SERIES.

THE “SECRET OUT” SERIES.

Crown 8vo, cloth extra, profusely Illustrated, price 4s. 6d. per Vol.

Crown 8vo, extra cloth, fully illustrated, priced at £4.6 per volume.

Art of Amusing. A Collection of Graceful Arts, Games, Tricks, Puzzles, and Charades, intended to Amuse Everybody. By Frank Bellew. With nearly 300 Illustrations.

Art of Entertainment. A Collection of Fun Arts, Games, Tricks, Puzzles, and Charades, meant to Entertain Everyone. By Frank Bellew. With almost 300 Illustrations.


Hanky-Panky. A Wonderful Book of Very Easy Tricks, Very Difficult Tricks, White Magic, Sleight of Hand; in fact, all those startling Deceptions which the Great Wizards call “Hanky-Panky.” Edited by W. H. Cremer. With nearly 200 Illustrations.

Shenanigans. An Amazing Book of Super Easy Tricks, Super Hard Tricks, White Magic, Sleight of Hand; really, all those mind-blowing Illusions that the Great Wizards refer to as “Hanky-Panky.” Edited by W.H. Cremer. Featuring almost 200 Illustrations.


Magician’s Own Book. Ample Instruction for Performances with Cups and Balls, Eggs, Hats, Handkerchiefs, &c. All from Actual Experience. Edited by W. H. Cremer. With 200 Illustrations.

Magician's Own Guide. Comprehensive Guide for Performing with Cups and Balls, Eggs, Hats, Handkerchiefs, & More. Based on Real Experience. Edited by W.H. Cremer. Featuring 200 Illustrations.


Magic No Mystery. A Splendid Collection of Tricks with Cards, Dice, Balls, &c., with fully descriptive working Directions. With very numerous Illustrations. [Nearly ready.

Magic is no mystery. An Awesome Collection of Tricks with Cards, Dice, Balls, etc., featuring detailed instructions. With lots of illustrations. Almost done.


Merry Circle (The), and How the Visitors were entertained during Twelve Pleasant Evenings. A Book of New Intellectual Games and Amusements. Edited by Mrs. Clara Bellew. With numerous Illustrations.

The Happy Circle, and How the Visitors Were Entertained During Twelve Enjoyable Evenings. A Book of New Intellectual Games and Amusements. Edited by Mrs. Clara Bellew. With Many Illustrations.


Secret Out; or, One Thousand Tricks with Cards, and other Recreations; with Entertaining Experiments in Drawing Room or “White Magic.” Edited by W. H. Cremer. With 300 Engravings.

Secret Revealed; or, One Thousand Tricks with Cards, and other Recreations; with Fun Experiments in the Living Room or “White Magic.” Edited by W.H. Cremer. With 300 Illustrations.


Shelley’s Early Life. From Original Sources. With Curious Incidents, Letters, and Writings, now First Published or Collected. By Denis Florence Mac-Carthy. Crown 8vo, with Illustrations, 440 pages, 7s. 6d.

Shelley’s Childhood. From Original Sources. With Interesting Incidents, Letters, and Writings, now First Published or Collected. By Denis Florence MacCarthy. Crown 8vo, with Illustrations, 440 pages, 7shillings 6pence


Sheridan’s Complete Works, with Life and Anecdotes. Including his Dramatic Writings, printed from the Original Editions, his Works in Prose and Poetry, Translations, Speeches, Jokes, Puns, &c.; with a Collection of Sheridaniana. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, with 10 beautifully executed Portraits and Scenes from his Plays, 7s. 6d.

Sheridan's Collected Works, with Life and Anecdotes. Including his Dramatic Writings, printed from the Original Editions, his Prose and Poetry, Translations, Speeches, Jokes, Puns, etc.; along with a Collection of Sheridaniana. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, featuring 10 beautifully executed Portraits and Scenes from his Plays, £7.50.


HELP ME THROUGH THIS WORLD!

Help me navigate this world!

Signboards: Their History. With Anecdotes of Famous Taverns and Remarkable Characters. By Jacob Larwood and John Camden Hotten. Seventh Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Signs: Their History. With Stories of Famous Pubs and Notable Characters. By Jacob Larwood and John Camden Hotten. Seventh Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7shillings 6pence.

“It is not fair on the part of a reviewer to pick out the plums of an author’s book, thus filching away his cream, and leaving little but skim-milk remaining; but, even if we were ever so maliciously inclined, we could not in the present instance pick out all Messrs. Larwood and Hotten’s plums, because the good things are so numerous as to defy the most wholesale depredation.”—The Times.

“It’s unfair for a reviewer to highlight only the best parts of an author’s book, stealing the most valuable bits and leaving behind just the leftovers; however, even if we wanted to be spiteful, we couldn’t possibly pick out all the great parts of Messrs. Larwood and Hotten’s work, because there are so many good things that it would be impossible to take them all.” —The Times.

*** Nearly 100 most curious illustrations on wood are given, showing the signs which were formerly hung from taverns, &c.

*** Almost 100 intriguing woodcut illustrations are included, displaying the signs that used to hang from taverns, etc.


THE WEDGE AND THE WOODEN SPOON.

THE WEDGE AND THE WOODEN SPOON.

HANDBOOK OF COLLOQUIALISMS.

Handbook of Colloquialisms.

The Slang Dictionary: Etymological, Historical, and Anecdotal. An Entirely New Edition, revised throughout, and considerably Enlarged, containing upwards of a thousand more words than the last edition. Crown 8vo, with Curious Illustrations, cloth extra, 6s. 6d.

The Slang Dictionary: Etymological, Historical, and Anecdotal. An Completely New Edition, revised throughout, and significantly Enlarged, containing over a thousand more words than the previous edition. Crown 8vo, with Interesting Illustrations, cloth extra, 6s. 6d.

“Peculiarly a book which ‘no gentleman’s library should be without,’ while to costermongers and thieves it is absolutely indispensable.”—Dispatch.

“Interestingly, a book that 'no gentleman's library should be without,' while for street vendors and thieves it is completely essential.”—Dispatch.

“Interesting and curious. Contains as many as it was possible to collect of all the words and phrases of modern slang in use at the present time.”—Public Opinion.

“Interesting and curious. Includes as many of the current words and phrases of modern slang as possible.” —Public Opinion.

“In every way a great improvement on the edition of 1864. Its uses as a dictionary of the very vulgar tongue do not require to be explained.”—Notes and Queries.

“In every way, this is a significant improvement over the 1864 edition. Its usefulness as a dictionary of everyday language speaks for itself.”—Notes and Queries.

“Compiled with most exacting care, and based on the best authorities.”—Standard.

"Compiled with great care and based on the best sources." —Standard.

“In ‘The Slang Dictionary’ we have not only a book that reflects credit upon the philologist; it is also a volume that will repay, at any time, a dip into its humorous pages.”—Figaro.

“In ‘The Slang Dictionary,’ we have not just a book that reflects well on the philologist; it’s also a volume that is always worth a read for its humorous content.”—Figaro.


WEST-END LIFE AND DOINGS.

West End Life and Events.

Story of the London Parks. By Jacob Larwood. With numerous Illustrations, Coloured and Plain. In One thick Volume, crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 7s. 6d.

London Parks Story. By Jacob Larwood. With many Illustrations, both Colorful and Regular. In One thick Volume, crown 8vo, extra cloth, gold lettering, 7sh. 6d.

*** A most interesting work, giving a complete History of these favourite out-of-door resorts, from the earliest period to the present time.

*** An engaging work that provides a thorough history of these popular outdoor destinations, from the earliest days to the present.


A KEEPSAKE FOR SMOKERS.

A KEEPSAKE FOR VAPERS.

Smoker’s Text-Book. By J. Hamer, F.R.S.L. Exquisitely printed from “silver-faced” type, cloth, very neat, gilt edges, 2s. 6d., post free.

Smoking Handbook. By J. Hamer, F.R.S.L. Beautifully printed using “silver-faced” type, cloth cover, very tidy, gilt edges, £2.6, with free shipping.


CHARMING NEW TRAVEL-BOOK.

Exciting New Travel Guide.

“It may be we shall touch the happy isles.”

“It might be that we’ll reach the happy islands.”

Summer Cruising in the South Seas, By Charles Warren Stoddard. With Twenty-five Engravings on Wood, drawn by Wallis Mackay. Crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, 7s. 6d.

Summer Cruising in the South Seas, By Charles Warren Stoddard. With Twenty-five Wood Engravings, illustrated by Wallis McKay. Crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, 7sh. 6d.

“This is a very amusing book, and full of that quiet humour for which the Americans are so famous. We have not space to enumerate all the picturesque descriptions, the poetical thoughts, which have so charmed us in this volume; but we recommend our readers to go to the South Seas with Mr. Stoddard in his prettily illustrated and amusingly written little book.”—Vanity Fair.

“This is a really entertaining book, filled with the subtle humor that Americans are known for. We don’t have the space to list all the vivid descriptions and poetic thoughts that have delighted us in this volume, but we encourage our readers to join Mr. Stoddard in the South Seas in his beautifully illustrated and amusingly written little book.” —Vanity Fair.

“Mr. Stoddard’s book is delightful reading, and in Mr. Wallis Mackay he has found a most congenial and poetical illustrator.”—Bookseller.

“Mr. Stoddard’s book is a joy to read, and with Mr. Wallis Mackay, he has found a wonderfully compatible and artistic illustrator.”—Bookseller.

“A remarkable book, which has a certain wild picturesqueness.”—Standard.

“A remarkable book that has a unique wild charm.”—Standard.

“The author’s experiences are very amusingly related, and, in parts, with much freshness and originality.”—Judy.

“The author's experiences are really entertainingly shared and, at times, with a lot of freshness and originality.”—Judy.

“Mr. Stoddard is a humourist; ‘Summer Cruising’ has a good deal of undeniable amusement.”—Nation.

“Mr. Stoddard is a humorist; ‘Summer Cruising’ is quite entertaining.”—Nation.


Syntax’s (Dr.) Three Tours. With the whole of Rowlandson’s very droll full-page Illustrations, in Colours, after the Original Drawings. Comprising the well-known Tours—1. In Search of the Picturesque. 2. In Search of Consolation. 3. In Search of a Wife. The Three Series Complete, with a Life of the Author by John Camden Hotten. Medium 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, price 7s. 6d.

Dr. Syntax's Three Adventures. Featuring all of Rowlandson's amusing full-page illustrations in color, based on the original drawings. This collection includes the famous Tours—1. Searching for the picturesque. 2. In Search of Comfort. 3. Looking for a Wife. The complete three series, along with a biography of the author by John Camden Hotten. Medium 8vo, extra cloth, gilt, price 7s. 6d.


Theseus: A Greek Fairy Legend. Illustrated, in a series of Designs in Gold and Sepia, by John Moyr Smith. With descriptive text. Oblong folio, price 7s. 6d.

Theseus: A Greek Fairy Tale. Illustrated, in a series of Designs in Gold and Sepia, by John Moyr Smith. With descriptive text. Oblong folio, price 7shillings 6pence.


THEODORE HOOK’S HOUSE, NEAR PUTNEY

Theodore Hook’s House, near Putney

Theodore Hook’s Choice Humorous Works, with his Ludicrous Adventures, Bons-mots, Puns, and Hoaxes. With a new Life of the Author, Portraits, Facsimiles, and Illustrations. Crown 8vo, 600 pages, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Theodore Hook's Humorous Works, featuring his funny adventures, witty remarks, puns, and practical jokes. Includes a new biography of the author, images, copies, and illustrations. Crown 8vo, 600 pages, extra cloth, 7s. 6d.

*** “As a wit and humourist of the highest order his name will be preserved. His political songs and jeux d’esprit, when the hour comes for collecting them, will form a volume of sterling and lasting attraction!”—J. G. Lockhart.

*** “As a sharp wit and humorist, his name will be remembered. His political songs and lighthearted pieces, when the time comes to gather them, will create a collection of genuine and lasting appeal!”—J.G. Lockhart.


MR. SWINBURNE’S WORKS.

MR. SWINBURNE'S WRITINGS.


Second Edition now ready of

Second Edition now available of

Bothwell: A Tragedy. By Algernon Charles Swinburne. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, pp. 540, 12s. 6d.

Bothwell: A Tragedy. By Algernon Charles Swinburne. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, 540 pages, £12.6.

“Mr. Swinburne’s most prejudiced critic cannot, we think, deny that ‘Bothwell’ is a poem of a very high character. Every line bears traces of power, individuality, and vivid imagination. The versification, while characteristically supple and melodious, also attains, in spite of some affectations, to a sustained strength and dignity of a remarkable kind. Mr. Swinburne is not only a master of the music of language, but he has that indescribable touch which discloses the true poet—the touch that lifts from off the ground.”—Saturday Review.

“Mr. Swinburne’s most biased critic cannot, we believe, deny that ‘Bothwell’ is a poem of very high quality. Every line shows evidence of power, individuality, and vivid imagination. The rhythm, while characteristically flexible and melodious, also achieves, despite some pretensions, a remarkable strength and dignity. Mr. Swinburne is not only a master of the musicality of language, but he possesses that indescribable quality that reveals the true poet—the quality that elevates from the ordinary.” —Saturday Review.

“It is not too much to say that, should he never write anything more, the poet has by this work firmly established his position, and given us a poem upon which his fame may safely rest. He no longer indulges in that frequent alliteration, or that oppressive wealth of imagery and colour, which gave rhythm and splendour to some of his works, but would have been out of place in a grand historical poem; we have now a fair opportunity of judging what the poet can do when deprived of such adventitious aid,—and the verdict is, that he must henceforth rank amongst the first of British authors.”—Graphic.

“It’s safe to say that, even if he never writes anything else, this work has solidified the poet's standing and given us a poem that his reputation can rely on. He no longer relies on frequent alliteration or the heavy use of imagery and color that brought rhythm and brilliance to some of his earlier pieces, but would have felt out of place in a grand historical poem; we now have a clear chance to evaluate what the poet can achieve without those extra embellishments—and the conclusion is that he should now be regarded as one of the top British authors.”—Graphic.

“The whole drama flames and rings with high passions and great deeds. The imagination is splendid; the style large and imperial; the insight into character keen; the blank verse varied, sensitive, flexible, alive. Mr. Swinburne has once more proved his right to occupy a seat among the lofty singers of our land.”—Daily News.

“The entire drama ignites and resonates with intense emotions and remarkable actions. The imagination is magnificent; the style is grand and commanding; the understanding of character is sharp; the blank verse is diverse, expressive, adaptable, and vibrant. Mr. Swinburne has once again demonstrated his deserving place among the great poets of our nation.”—Daily News.

“A really grand, statuesque dramatic work.... The reader will here find Mr. Swinburne at his very best, if manliness, dignity, and fulness of style are superior to mere pleasant singing and alliterative lyrics.”—Standard.

“A truly impressive and striking dramatic piece.... The reader will find Mr. Swinburne at his finest here, if qualities like strength, dignity, and richness of style are valued over simple catchy tunes and alliterative lyrics.”—Standard.

“Splendid pictures, subtle analyses of passion, and wonderful studies of character will repay him who attains the end.... In this huge volume are many fine and some unsurpassable things. Subtlest traits of character abound, and descriptive passages of singular delicacy.”—Athenæum.

“Great images, thoughtful insights into love, and impressive character studies will reward anyone who reaches the end.... This large book contains many excellent and some outstanding pieces. It is filled with nuanced character traits and beautifully written descriptions.”—Athenæum.

“There can be no doubt of the dramatic force of the poem. It is severely simple in its diction, and never dull; there are innumerable fine touches on almost every page.”—Scotsman.

“There can be no doubt about the poem’s dramatic impact. Its language is straightforward and never boring; almost every page has countless fine details.” —Scotsman.

“‘Bothwell’ shows us Mr. Swinburne at a point immeasurably superior to any that he has yet achieved. It will confirm and increase the reputation which his daring genius has already won. He has handled a difficult subject with a mastery of art which is a true intellectual triumph.”—Hour.

“‘Bothwell’ shows us Mr. Swinburne at a level far beyond anything he has accomplished so far. It will affirm and elevate the reputation that his bold genius has already earned. He has tackled a challenging subject with an artistic skill that is a genuine intellectual victory.” —Hour.


Chastelard: A Tragedy. Foolscap 8vo, 7s.

Chastelard: A Tragedy. Foolscap 8vo, 7shillings.


Poems and Ballads. Foolscap 8vo, 9s.

Poems and Ballads. Foolscap 8vo, 9shillings.


Notes onPoems and Ballads,” and on the Reviews of them. Demy 8vo, 1s.

Notes onPoems and Ballads,” and on the Reviews of them. Demy 8vo, 1s.


Songs before Sunrise. Post 8vo, 10s. 6d.

Songs Before Sunrise. Post 8vo, 10shillings. 6pence.


Atalanta in Calydon. Fcap. 8vo, 6s.

Atalanta in Calydon. Fcap. 8vo, 6s.


The Queen Mother and Rosamond. Foolscap 8vo, 5s.

The Queen Mum and Rosamond. Foolscap 8vo, 5s.


A Song of Italy. Foolscap 8vo, 3s. 6d.

An Italian Anthem. Foolscap 8vo, £3.6.


Ode on the Proclamation of the French Republic. Demy 8vo, 1s.

Ode for the Announcement of the French Republic. Demy 8vo, 1s.


Under the Microscope. Post 8vo, 2s. 6d.

Under the Microscope. Post 8vo, £2.6d.


William Blake: A Critical Essay. With facsimile Paintings, Coloured by Hand, after the Drawings by Blake and his Wife. Demy 8vo, 16s.

William Blake: A Critical Essay. With facsimile Paintings, Colored by Hand, after the Drawings by Blake and his Wife. Demy 8vo, 16shillings.


man

THE THACKERAY SKETCH-BOOK.

The Thackeray Sketchbook.

THACKERAYANA.

THACKERAYANA.

Notes and Anecdotes,

Notes & Stories,

Illustrated by about Six Hundred Sketches by William Makepeace Thackeray, depicting Humorous Incidents in his School-life, and Favourite Scenes and Characters in the books of his every-day reading, now for the First Time Published, from the Original Drawings made on the margins of his books, &c. Large post 8vo, cloth extra gilt, gilt top, price 12s. 6d.

Illustrated with around six hundred sketches by William Makepeace Thackeray, showing funny moments from his school life and favorite scenes and characters from the books he read regularly, now available for the first time, based on the original drawings in the margins of his books, etc. Large post 8vo, extra cloth binding with gold accents, gold top, price 12s. 6d.

“It is Thackeray’s aim to represent life as it is actually and historically—men and women as they are, in those situations in which they are usually placed, with that mixture of good and evil, of strength and foible, which is to be found in their characters, and liable only to those incidents which are of ordinary occurrence. He will have no faultless characters, no demi-gods,—nothing but men and brethren.”—David Masson.

“It’s Thackeray’s goal to depict life as it really is—men and women as they are, in the situations they typically find themselves in, with the mix of good and bad, strength and weakness, that makes up their personalities, and subject only to the everyday events that happen. He will have no perfect characters, no demigods—just regular people.” —David Masson.


THE SUBSCRIPTION ROOM AT BROOKES’S.

THE SUBSCRIPTION ROOM AT BROOKES'S.

Timbs’ Clubs and Club Life in London. With Anecdotes of its Famous Coffee Houses, Hostelries, and Taverns. By John Timbs, F.S.A. New Edition, with numerous Illustrations, drawn expressly. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 600 pages, 7s. 6d.

Timbs' Clubs and Club Life in London. With Stories of its Popular Coffee Shops, Hotels, and Bars. By John Timbs, F.S.A. New Edition, with many illustrations, drawn specifically. Crown 8vo, hardcover, 600 pages, 7shillings 6pence.

*** A Companion to “The History of Sign-Boards.” It abounds in quaint stories of the Blue Stocking, Kit-Kat, Beef Steak, Robin Hood, Mohocks, Scriblerus, One o’Clock, the Civil, and hundreds of other Clubs; together with Tom’s, Dick’s, Button’s, Ned’s, Will’s, and the famous Coffee Houses of the last century.

*** A Companion to “The History of Sign-Boards.” It’s full of interesting stories about the Blue Stocking, Kit-Kat, Beef Steak, Robin Hood, Mohocks, Scriblerus, One o’Clock, the Civil, and hundreds of other clubs; along with Tom’s, Dick’s, Button’s, Ned’s, Will’s, and the famous coffee houses from the last century.

“The book supplies a much-felt want. The club is the avenue to general society at the present day, and Mr. Timbs gives the entrée to the club. The scholar and antiquary will also find the work a repertory of information on many disputed points of literary interest, and especially respecting various well-known anecdotes, the value of which only increases with the lapse of time.”—Morning Post.

“The book fills a significant need. The club is the pathway to social life today, and Mr. Timbs provides access to the club. Scholars and enthusiasts will also discover that this work is a valuable source of information on many debated topics of literary interest, especially concerning various famous anecdotes, the significance of which only grows over time.”—Morning Post.


Timbs’ English Eccentrics and Eccentricities. Stories of Wealth and Fashion, Delusions, Impostures and Fanatic Missions, Strange Sights and Sporting Scenes, Eccentric Artists, Theatrical Folks, Men of Letters, &c. By John Timbs, F.S.A. An entirely New Edition, with about 50 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 600 pages, 7s. 6d.

Timbs' English Eccentrics and Quirks. Stories of Wealth and Fashion, Delusions, Impostures and Fanatic Missions, Strange Sights and Sporting Scenes, Eccentric Artists, Theatrical People, Writers, etc. By John Timbs, F.S.A. An entirely New Edition, with about 50 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 600 pages, 7s. 6d.


playing card

Taylor’s History of Playing Cards. With Sixty curious Illustrations. 550 pp., crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, price 7s. 6d.

Taylor's History of Playing Cards. With sixty interesting illustrations. 550 pages, crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, price 7s. 6d.

*** Ancient and Modern Games, Conjuring, Fortune-Telling, and Card Sharping, Gambling and Calculation, Cartomancy, Old Gaming-Houses, Card Revels and Blind Hookey, Picquet and Vingt-et-un, Whist and Cribbage, Tricks, &c.

*** Old and New Games, Magic, Fortune-Telling, and Card Cheating, Gambling and Math, Cartomancy, Traditional Gaming Venues, Card Parties and Blind Hookey, Piquet and Blackjack, Whist and Cribbage, Tricks, & etc.


Vagabondiana; or, Anecdotes of Mendicant Wanderers through the Streets of London; with Portraits of the most remarkable, drawn from the Life by John Thomas Smith, late Keeper of the Prints in the British Museum. With Introduction by Francis Douce, and descriptive text. Reprinted from the original, with the Woodcuts, and the 32 Plates, from the original Coppers, in crown 4to, half Roxburghe, price 12s. 6d.

Vagabond life; or, Stories of Homeless Travelers through the Streets of London; featuring Portraits of the most notable, drawn from life by John T. Smith, former Keeper of the Prints at the British Museum. Includes an Introduction by Francis Douce, along with descriptive text. Reprinted from the original, with the Woodcuts, and the 32 Plates, from the original Coppers, in crown 4to, half Roxburghe, priced at 12s. 6d.


“LES MISÉRABLES.” Complete in Three Parts.

"LES MISÉRABLES." Complete in Three Parts.

Victor Hugo’s Fantine. Now first published in an English Translation, complete and unabridged, with the exception of a few advisable omissions. Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

Fantine by Victor Hugo. Now published for the first time in an English translation, complete and unedited, with a few recommended omissions. Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

“This work has something more than the beauties of an exquisite style or the word-compelling power of a literary Zeus to recommend it to the tender care of a distant posterity: in dealing with all the emotions, passions, doubts, fears, which go to make up our common humanity, M. Victor Hugo has stamped upon every page the Hall-mark of genius and the loving patience and conscientious labour of a true artist. But the merits of ‘Les Misérables’ do not merely consist in the conception of it as a whole; it abounds, page after page, with details of unequalled beauty.”—Quarterly Review.

“This work has more to offer than just beautiful writing or the impressive power of a literary genius to recommend it to future generations: while exploring all the emotions, passions, doubts, and fears that make up our shared humanity, Victor Hugo has marked every page with the hallmark of talent and the careful dedication of a true artist. However, the value of ‘Les Misérables’ doesn’t just lie in its overall concept; it is filled, page after page, with unparalleled beauty in its details.”—Quarterly Review.


Victor Hugo’s Cosette and Marius. Translated into English, complete, uniform with “Fantine.” Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s.

Hugo's Cosette and Marius. Translated into English, complete, consistent with “Fantine.” Post 8vo, illustrated covers, 2s.


Victor Hugo’s Saint Denis and Jean Valjean. Translated into English, complete, uniform with the above. Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s. 6d.

Victor Hugo's Saint Denis and Jean Valjean. Translated into English, complete, consistent with the above. Paperback, 8vo, with illustrations, £2.6.


Vyner’s Notitia Venatica: A Treatise on Fox-Hunting, the General Management of Hounds, and the Diseases of Dogs; Distemper and Rabies; Kennel Lameness, &c. Sixth Edition, Enlarged. By Robert C. Vyner. With spirited Illustrations in Colours, by Alken, of Memorable Fox-Hunting Scenes. Royal 8vo, cloth extra, 21s.

Vyner's Hunting Handbook: A Guide on Fox-Hunting, How to Manage Hounds, and Common Dog Diseases; Distemper and Rabies; Kennel Lameness, etc. Sixth Edition, Expanded. By Robert C. Vyner. Featuring vibrant color illustrations by Alken, showcasing memorable fox-hunting scenes. Royal 8vo, extra cloth, 21s.

*** An entirely new edition of the best work on Fox-Hunting.

*** A completely updated version of the best book on fox hunting.


Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. The Complete Work, precisely as issued by the Author in Washington. A thick volume, 8vo, green cloth, price 9s.

Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. The Complete Work, exactly as published by the Author in Washington. A large book, 8vo, green cloth, price 9s.

“Whitman is a poet who bears and needs to be read as a whole, and then the volume and torrent of his power carry the disfigurements along with it and away. He is really a fine fellow.”—Chambers’s Journal.

“Whitman is a poet who should be read in his entirety, and then the depth and intensity of his power will take the imperfections with it and away. He truly is a remarkable guy.”—Chambers’s Journal.


Walton and Cotton, Illustrated.—The Complete Angler; or, the Contemplative Man’s Recreation; being a Discourse of Rivers, Fish-ponds, Fish and Fishing, written by Izaak Walton; and Instructions how to Angle for a Trout or Grayling in a clear Stream, by Charles Cotton. With Original Memoirs and Notes by Sir Harris Nicolas, K.C.M.G. With the whole 61 Illustrations, precisely as in the royal 8vo two-volume Edition issued by Pickering. A New Edition, complete in One Volume, large crown 8vo, with the Illustrations from the original plates, printed on full pages, separately from the text, price 7s. 6d.

Walton and Cotton, Illustrated.—The Complete Angler; or, the Contemplative Person’s Recreation; featuring a Discourse on Rivers, Fish Ponds, Fish, and Fishing, written by Izaak Walton; along with Instructions on How to Catch Trout or Grayling in a Clear Stream, by Charles Cotton. Includes Original Memoirs and Notes by Sir Harris Nicolas, K.C.M.G. This complete New Edition is presented in One Volume, large crown 8vo, with all 61 Illustrations from the original plates, printed on full pages and separate from the text, priced at 7s. 6d.


Warrant to Execute Charles I. An exact Facsimile of this important Document, with the Fifty-nine Signatures of the Regicides, and corresponding Seals, admirably executed on paper made to imitate the original document, 22 in. by 14 in. Price 2s.; or, handsomely framed and glazed in carved oak of antique pattern, 14s. 6d.

Warrant to Execute Charles I. A precise replica of this significant document, featuring the fifty-nine signatures of the regicides along with their corresponding seals, beautifully printed on paper designed to resemble the original document, measuring 22 in. by 14 in. Price 2s.; or, elegantly framed and glazed in carved oak with an antique style, 14s. 6d.


Warrant to Execute Mary Queen of Scots. The Exact Facsimile of this important Document, including the Signature of Queen Elizabeth and Facsimile of the Great Seal, on tinted paper; made to imitate the Original MS. Price 2s.; or, handsomely framed and glazed in carved oak of antique pattern, 14s. 6d.

Warrant to Execute Mary, Queen of Scots. The exact replica of this important document, featuring the signature of Queen Elizabeth and a replica of the Great Seal, printed on colored paper to mimic the original manuscript. Price: 2s.; or, beautifully framed and glazed in intricately carved antique oak, 14s. 6d.


Waterford Roll (The).—Illuminated Charter-Roll of Waterford, Temp. Richard II.

Waterford Roll (The).—Illuminated Charter Roll of Waterford, During the reign of Richard II.

*** Amongst the Corporation Muniments of the City of Waterford is preserved an ancient Illuminated Roll, of great interest and beauty, comprising all the early Charters and Grants to the City of Waterford, from the time of Henry II. to Richard II. A full-length Portrait of each King, whose Charter is given—including Edward III., when young, and again at an advanced age—adorns the margin. These Portraits, with the exception of four which are smaller, and on one sheet of vellum, vary from eight to nine inches in length—some in armour, and some in robes of state. In addition to these are Portraits of an Archbishop in full canonicals, of a Chancellor, and of many of the chief Burgesses of the City of Waterford, as well as singularly curious Portraits of the Mayors of Dublin, Waterford, Limerick, and Cork, figured for the most part in the quaint bipartite costume of the Second Richard’s reign, though partaking of many of the peculiarities of that of Edward III. Altogether this ancient work of art is unique of its kind in Ireland, and deserves to be rescued from oblivion, by the publication of the unedited Charters, and of fac-similes of all the Illuminations. The production of such a work would throw much light on the question of the art and social habits of the Anglo-Norman settlers in Ireland at the close of the fourteenth century. The Charters are, many of them, highly important from an historic point of view.

*** Among the city's archives in Waterford is an ancient illustrated scroll that is both fascinating and beautiful. It contains all the early charters and grants to Waterford, dating from the time of Henry II to Richard II. The margins are decorated with full-length portraits of each king whose charter is included—featuring Edward III both as a young man and later in life. These portraits, aside from four smaller ones on a single sheet of vellum, range in length from eight to nine inches, showcasing some in armor and others in formal robes. Additionally, there are portraits of an archbishop in full religious attire, a chancellor, and many of the leading burgesses of Waterford, along with notably interesting portraits of the mayors of Dublin, Waterford, Limerick, and Cork, mostly depicted in the unusual divided costume from the reign of Richard II, while also reflecting many traits from the time of Edward III. Overall, this ancient artwork is unique in Ireland and deserves to be preserved from forgetfulness through the publication of the unedited charters and facsimiles of all the illustrations. Creating such a work would illuminate the art and social practices of the Anglo-Norman settlers in Ireland at the end of the fourteenth century. Many of these charters are historically significant.

The Illuminations have been accurately traced and coloured for the work from a copy carefully made, by permission of the Mayor and Corporation of Waterford, by the late George V. Du Noyer, Esq., M.R.I.A.; and those Charters which have not already appeared in print will be edited by the Rev. James Graves, A.B., M.R.I.A., Hon. Secretary Kilkenny and South-East of Ireland Archæological Society.

The illustrations have been carefully copied and colored for this work from a version meticulously created, with permission from the Mayor and Corporation of Waterford, by the late George V. Du Noyer, Esq., M.R.I.A.; and the Charters that haven't been published before will be edited by the Rev. James Graves, A.B., M.R.I.A., Hon. Secretary of the Kilkenny and South-East of Ireland Archaeological Society.

The Work will be brought out in the best manner, with embossed cover and characteristic title-page; and it will be put to press as soon as 250 subscribers are obtained. The price, in imperial 4to, is 20s. to subscribers, or 30s. to non-subscribers.

The work will be published in the best way possible, with an embossed cover and a distinctive title page. It will go to press as soon as 250 subscribers have signed up. The price for subscribers is 20s. for the imperial 4to, or 30s. for non-subscribers.


Wonderful Characters: Memoirs and Anecdotes of Remarkable and Eccentric Persons of Every Age and Nation. From the text of Henry Wilson and James Caulfield. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, with Sixty-one full-page Engravings of Extraordinary Persons, 7s. 6d.

Awesome Characters: Memoirs and Anecdotes of Remarkable and Eccentric People from Every Age and Nation. Based on the work of Henry Wilson and James Caulfield. Crown 8vo, premium cloth, featuring Sixty-one full-page Illustrations of Extraordinary Individuals, 7£ 6d.

*** There are so many curious matters discussed in this volume, that any person who takes it up will not readily lay it down until he has read it through. The Introduction is almost entirely devoted to a consideration of Pig-Faced Ladies, and the various stories concerning them.

*** This volume covers so many fascinating topics that anyone who picks it up will find it hard to put down until they've read it all. The Introduction mostly focuses on Pig-Faced Ladies and the different stories about them.


Wright’s (Andrew) Court-Hand Restored; or, Student’s Assistant in Reading Old Deeds, Charters, Records, &c. Half Morocco, a New Edition, 10s. 6d.

Wright’s (Andrew) Court-Hand Revived; or, Student’s Assistant in Reading Old Deeds, Charters, Records, etc. Half Morocco, a New Edition, 10s. 6d.

*** The best guide to the reading of old Records, &c.

*** The ultimate guide to reading old records, etc.


Wright’s Caricature History of the Georges (House of Hanover). With 400 Pictures, Caricatures, Squibs, Broadsides, Window Pictures, &c. By Thomas Wright, Esq., M.A., F.S.A. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7s. 6d.

Wright’s Caricature History of the Georges (House of Hanover). With 400 Images, Caricatures, Humorous Pieces, Posters, Window Art, etc. By Thomas Wright, Esq., M.A., F.S.A. Crown 8vo, extra cloth, £7.50.

caricature

“A set of caricatures such as we have in Mr. Wright’s volume brings the surface of the age before us with a vividness that no prose writer, even of the highest power, could emulate. Macaulay’s most brilliant sentence is weak by the side of the little woodcut from Gillray, which gives us Burke and Fox.”—Saturday Review.

“A collection of caricatures like the ones in Mr. Wright’s book presents the essence of the era with a clarity that no prose writer, no matter how talented, could replicate. Macaulay’s brightest sentence pales in comparison to the small woodcut by Gillray, which depicts Burke and Fox.” —Saturday Review.

“A more amusing work of its kind was never issued.”—Art Journal.

“A more entertaining piece of its kind was never released.”—Art Journal.

“It is emphatically one of the liveliest of books, as also one of the most interesting. It has the twofold merit of being at once amusing and edifying.”—Morning Post.

“It is definitely one of the most lively books, and also one of the most interesting. It has the dual quality of being both entertaining and educational.” —Morning Post.


Yankee Drolleries, Edited by G. A. Sala. Containing Artemus Ward’s Book; Biglow Papers; Orpheus C. Kerr; Jack Downing; and Nasby Papers. 700 pp., 3s. 6d.

Yankee Humor, Edited by G.A. Sala. Featuring Artemus Ward's Book; Biglow Papers; Orpheus C. Kerr; Jack Downing; and Nasby Papers. 700 pages, £3.6.


More Yankee Drolleries. Containing Artemus Ward’s Travels; Hans Breitmann; Professor at Breakfast Table; Biglow Papers, Part II.; and Josh Billings; with Introduction by G. A. Sala. 700 pp., cloth, 3s. 6d.

More Yankee Humor. Containing Artemus Ward's Adventures; Hans Breitmann; Professor at the Breakfast Table; Biglow Papers, Part II.; and Josh Billings; with Introduction by G.A. Sala. 700 pages, cloth, 3sh. 6d.


A Third Supply of Yankee Drolleries. Containing Artemus Ward’s Fenians; Autocrat of Breakfast Table; Bret Harte’s Stories; Innocents Abroad; and New Pilgrim’s Progress; with an Introduction by G. A. Sala. 700 pp., cloth, 3s. 6d.

A Third Collection of Yankee Drolleries. Containing Artemus Ward’s Irish Rebels; Breakfast Table Dictator; Bret Harte's Tales; Innocents Abroad; and New Pilgrim's Progress; with an Introduction by G.A. Sala. 700 pp., cloth, 3s. 6d.


74 & 75, PICCADILLY, LONDON, W.

74 & 75, Piccadilly, London, W.


Facsimiles of newspaper pages transcribed in the text

Domestick Intelligence
(following Page 4)

page 1 Domestick Intelligence

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

page 2 Domestick Intelligence

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.


WEEKELY Newes from Italy, etc.
(following Page 96)

Weekely News etc. cover

The Weekly Account: etc.
(following Page 104)

The Weekly Account etc. cover

THE TIMES
(following Page 234)

First sheet

The Times first sheet

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

Second sheet

The Times second sheet

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

Third sheet

The Times third sheet

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

Fourth sheet

The Times fourth sheet

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.


Bish lottery advertisement
(page 465)

Bish lottery advertisement

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.


Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster Handbill
(Page 555)

handbill

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.


Transcriber’s Notes

Inconsistent and unusual spelling (in English and other languages) have been retained, and accents and diacritical characters have not been changed, except as mentioned below.

Inconsistent and unusual spelling (in English and other languages) has been kept, and accents and diacritical characters have not been modified, except as noted below.

Depending on the hard- and software used and their settings, not all elements may display as intended.

Depending on the hardware and software used and their settings, not all elements may appear as intended.

Blackletter and Fraktur type are represented as Blackletter, Fraktur.

Blackletter and Fraktur type are represented as Blackletter, Fraktur.

Domestick Intelligence (following page 4), (which was as it seems ... discontented;): one closing bracket is missing in the source document.

Domestick Intelligence (following page 4), (which appears to be ... dissatisfied;): one closing bracket is missing in the source document.

The Times (following page 234): some of the printing was difficult to read. The following transcriptions are therefore not certain: A complete Dressing case ... 6d.; Dr. (in Dr. Arnold); the price (12s.) of Dr. Derham’s Theology; principals in ... two of the principals ...; several of the names in SHIP NEWS; several items in PRICES OF STOCKS; some prices and descriptions in FURNISHING KITCHENS; life in ... a certificate of the life ... (IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES); several names in the list on the page bottom

The Times (see page 234): some of the printing was hard to read. The following transcriptions may not be accurate: A complete dressing case ... 6d.; Dr. (in Dr. Arnold); the price (12s.) of Dr. Derham’s Theology; principals in ... two of the principals ...; several names in SHIP NEWS; several items in PRICES OF STOCKS; some prices and descriptions in FURNISHING KITCHENS; life in ... a certificate of the life ... (IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES); several names in the list at the bottom of the page.

STATIONARY, New Goal, no otherwise provided for, sallard oil, Sour Crout: as printed in the original work. During the late memorable contest ...: both Johnson and Johnstone are used in the same paragraph.

STATIONARY, New Goal, unless stated otherwise, salad oil, Sauerkraut: as printed in the original work. During the late memorable contest ...: both Johnson and Johnstone are mentioned in the same paragraph.

Page 286 ff, codes: the coded messages and decoding methods have been copied verbatim from the source, without any corrections.

Page 286 ff, codes: the coded messages and decoding methods have been copied exactly from the source, without any edits.

Page 340, the balance due should be £1, 3s., 1012d.

Page 340, the balance due should be £1, 3s., 1012d.

Page 486, ... one that is deemed no Scold: as printed; other sources have ... one that is deemed a Scold.

Page 486, ... one that is considered not a Scold: as printed; other sources have ... one that is considered a Scold.

Page 508, affectione: possibly an error for affectionate

Page 508, affectione: likely a mistake for affectionate

Page 532, item 5 is printed on the same line as item 4 in the source document, unlike the other items.

Page 532, item 5 is printed on the same line as item 4 in the source document, unlike the other items.

Page 533, 16 ¶: as printed in the original work.

Page 533, 16 ¶: as printed in the original work.

Page 562, patent pen fountain: as printed

Page 562, patent pen fountain: as printed

Page 600: QUI À CESSE: as printed

Page 600: QUI À CESSE: as printed

Changes made:

No changes made.

Footnotes have been moved to the end of the chapters.

Footnotes have been relocated to the end of the chapters.

Some obvious punctuation and typographical errors have been corrected silently; all corrections made to quoted material are listed below.

Some obvious punctuation and typographical errors have been corrected without mentioning them; all corrections made to quoted material are listed below.

Page 45: IIII., IIII., VI., changed to IIII., IIII., VII.,

Page 45: IIII., IIII., VI., changed to IIII., IIII., VII.,

Page 52: Exigius changed to Exiguis; characteritus changed to characteribus

Page 52: Exigius changed to Exiguis; characteritus changed to characteribus

Page 64: Italien en de Duytschland changed to Italien ende Duytschland

Page 64: Italy and Germany changed to Italy and Germany

Page 71: To Salisbury in two days changed to To Salisbury in two days (cf. other place names)

Page 71: To Salisbury in two days changed to To Salisbury in two days (cf. other place names)

Page 86: comma inserted after ... only her husband

Page 86: comma inserted after ... only her husband

Page 113: Sedley Rochester, changed to Sedley, Rochester,

Page 113: Sedley Rochester, now just Sedley, Rochester,

Page 126: Domestic Intelligence changed to Domestick Intelligence as elsewhere

Page 126: Domestic Intelligence changed to Domestic Intelligence as elsewhere

Page 218: closing bracket inserted after ... to the said Parish

Page 218: closing bracket inserted after ... to the mentioned Parish

The Times, following page 234: Lousia Hervey changed to Louisa Hervey; divided into Half Quarter, Eighth ... changed to divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth ...; Lofseter changed to Losseter; cominee changed to nominee

The Times, following page 234: Louisa Hervey changed to Louisa Hervey; divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth ... changed to divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth ...; Lofseter changed to Losseter; cominee changed to nominee

Page 256: Prospects of Lorton’s changed to Prospects of Lorton’s; opening quote inserted before Use my vegetable ...

Page 256: Prospects of Lorton’s changed to Prospects of Lorton’s; opening quote inserted before Use my vegetable ...

Page 272: comma inserted after James Speculate, Esq.

Page 272: comma added after James Speculate, Esq.

Page 410, Footnote [37]: was’nt changed to wasn’t

Page 410, Footnote [37]: wasn’t changed to wasn’t

Page 424: The N of lotts changed to The No of lotts

Page 424: The No. of lots changed to The No of lots

Page 450, table (last row before totals): 2880 changed to 28800

Page 450, table (last row before totals): 2880 changed to 28800

Adverts at end of book: Edicion changed to Edición (2x); might not inappropriately termed changed to might not inappropriately be termed.

Adverts at end of book: Edicion changed to Edición (2x); might not inappropriately termed changed to might not inappropriately be termed.


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