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THE BLACK MONK
AND OTHER STORIES
By
ANTON TCHEKHOFF
Translated from the Russian by
R. E. C. Long
NEW YORK
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY
1915
PREFACE
Anton Tchekhoff, the writer of the stories and sketches here translated, although hardly known in this country, and but little better known on the western continent of Europe, has during the last fifteen years been regarded as the most talented of the younger generation of Russian writers. Even the remarkable popularity attained during the last few years by Maxim Gorky has not eclipsed his fame, though it has probably done much to prevent the recognition of his talents abroad. Tchekhoff's stories lack the striking incidents and lurid colouring of the younger writer's, and thus, while they appeal more strongly to the cultivated Russian, they are devoid of the more obvious qualities that attract the translator and the public which read translations. Though they have gone into numberless editions in Russia, they are almost unknown abroad, being, in fact, represented only by a few scattered translations and small volumes published in France and Germany, and by a few critical articles in the reviews of those countries. In England, Tchekhoff is only a name to most of those interested in Eastern literature, and not even a name to the general public.
Anton Chekhov, the author of the stories and sketches translated here, is not well-known in this country and is only slightly better recognized in Western Europe. Over the past fifteen years, he has been seen as the most talented of the younger generation of Russian writers. Even the significant popularity that Maxim Gorky has gained in recent years hasn't overshadowed his reputation, although it has likely contributed to the lack of recognition for Chekhov's talents abroad. Chekhov's stories don’t have the dramatic events and vivid descriptions that characterize Gorky’s work, which makes them resonate more with cultured Russians but lack the more obvious traits that attract translators and the reading public for translated works. Despite being published in countless editions in Russia, his works are almost unknown internationally, represented only by a few scattered translations and small collections in France and Germany, along with a handful of critical articles in those countries' reviews. In England, Chekhov is just a name to most people interested in Eastern literature, and he is virtually unknown to the general public.
Anton Pavlovitch Tchekhoff was born in 1860, spent his infancy in South Russia, and was educated in the Medical Faculty of Moscow University. Although a doctor by profession, and actually practising for some years as a municipal medical officer, he began his literary career as a story writer before completing his professional education, contributing, when a student, sketches to the weekly comic journals, and feuilletons to the St. Petersburg newspapers. Tchekhoff's early stories turn largely upon domestic misunderstandings; they are brief, avowedly humorous, and even farcical. They attracted early attention by their irresponsible gaiety, seldom untinged with a certain bitterness. The Steppe, a panorama of travel through the great plains of South Russia, published serially in the now extinct Sieverni Viestnik, was the first of his productions of sustained merit. It was followed by a series of stories and sketches and one volume of dramas, which have, in the opinion of Russian critics, established the writer on a level with the best native fiction writers, and on a much higher level than any of his contemporaries.
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov was born in 1860, spent his childhood in Southern Russia, and studied at the Medical Faculty of Moscow University. Although he was a doctor by profession and worked for several years as a municipal medical officer, he started his writing career as a storyteller before finishing his medical training, contributing sketches to weekly comic magazines and feuilletons to newspapers in St. Petersburg while still a student. Chekhov's early stories mostly focus on domestic misunderstandings; they're short, intentionally funny, and even farcical. They gained early recognition for their carefree humor, often tinged with a hint of bitterness. The Steppe, a travel narrative through the vast plains of Southern Russia, published in installments in the now-defunct Severni Viestnik, was the first of his works to show real merit. This was followed by a series of stories, sketches, and one collection of plays, which, according to Russian critics, established him among the best native fiction writers and placed him significantly above his contemporaries.
Tchekhoff in his manner of thought is essentially a Russian; as an artist essentially Western, having perhaps only one thing in common with the writers of his own country. Russian novelists, with few exceptions—Turgenieff, a man of Western training and sympathies, was one—have commonly lacked the instinct of coherency, the lack of which in fiction is redeemed only by genius. The novels of Dostoyeffsky and Tolstoy are notoriously defective in this respect. Tchekhoff and Gorky suffer from the same deficiency. Unlike Gorky, Tchekhoff has never essayed the long novel; and even his longer short stories, one of which is included in this volume, are redeemed from failure chiefly by their humour and close observation of Russian life. With this exception, Tchekhoff has little in common with other Russian writers. He is more objective, less diffuse, less inspiring, and less human. His compatriots, Count Tolstoy among them, compare him with Maupassant His method of treatment presents many parallels; he has the same brevity, the same remorselessness, the same insistence upon the significantly little.
Tchekhoff is fundamentally a Russian in his way of thinking, but as an artist, he's definitely more Western, sharing maybe just one thing with the writers from his own country. Most Russian novelists, with a few exceptions—like Turgenieff, who had a Western education and outlook—typically lack a sense of coherence, which in fiction is only compensated for by genius. The novels of Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy are famously lacking in this area. Tchekhoff and Gorky share this same shortcoming. Unlike Gorky, Tchekhoff never attempted a lengthy novel; even his longer short stories, one of which is included in this collection, are saved from failure mainly by their humor and keen observation of Russian life. Other than that, Tchekhoff has little in common with other Russian writers. He is more objective, less wordy, less inspiring, and less humane. His peers, including Count Tolstoy, liken him to Maupassant. His approach shows many similarities; he has the same brevity, the same harshness, and the same focus on the seemingly insignificant details.
But in his teaching, if teaching it can be called, Tchekhoff is thoroughly Russian. A French critic[1] has lately reviewed his stories in a chapter called L'impuissance de vivre, and this phrase summarises admirably what Tchekhoff has to say. The political condition of modern Russia involves the repression of all intellect and initiative, or, at best, their diversion into unproductive official channels; hence, the distaste for life. and intellectual stagnation which, represented here in "Ward No. 6," run through all Tchekhoff's longer stories, and particularly through his dramas, most of which end in disillusion and suicide. Russian life presents itself to Tchekhoff as the unprofitable struggle of the exceptional few against the trivial and insignificant many. His pages are peopled with psychopaths, degenerates of genius and virtue, who succumb in feeble revolt against the baseness and banality of life, and are quite unfit to combat the healthy, rude, but unintelligent forces around them. Kovrin, Likharyóff, and Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch, three heroes in this collection, are characteristic of Tchekhoff's outlook. All aspiring men, he says, are predestined martyrs; only the base achieve immunity from ruin: and as martyrdom is the exception, not the rule, it results that Tchekhoff's ordinary men, and the secondary characters in most of his stories, are insignificant and mean. The life depicted is in itself uninteresting; its colour is grey, its keynote tedium, its only humour the humour of the satirist, not of the sympathiser, and its only tragedy, failure. Tchekhoff is essentially an objective writer, and this gives him an undue detachment from the life which he describes; he never points a moral, delays over an explanation, or shrinks from the incompleteness which, truthful to life, is often unsatisfactory in art. But his attitude towards life is not the less unmistakable because never openly expressed; pessimism, inspired by fatalism and denial of the will, but tempered by humour and apathy, is its note. That note appears perhaps less in this volume than it would in a more representative collection of Tchekhoff's writings. But in choosing these stories from among more than a hundred, I have been guided not merely by what was best, but also by what seemed most likely to be understood by a public unfamiliar with Russian manners and Russian thought.
But in his teaching, if you can call it that, Chekhov is completely Russian. A French critic[1] recently reviewed his stories in a chapter called L'impuissance de vivre, and this phrase perfectly captures what Chekhov has to say. The political situation in modern Russia stifles all intellect and initiative, or, at best, redirects them into unproductive official channels; as a result, there’s a distaste for life and intellectual stagnation, which is reflected here in "Ward No. 6" and runs through all of Chekhov's longer stories, particularly his plays, most of which end in disillusionment and suicide. Chekhov sees Russian life as the pointless struggle of a few exceptional individuals against the trivial and insignificant masses. His pages are filled with psychopaths, degenerates of genius and virtue, who break down in their weak rebellion against the baseness and banality of life and are quite unfit to fight the robust, rude, but unintelligent forces around them. Kovrin, Likharyóff, and Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch, three protagonists in this collection, exemplify Chekhov's perspective. He suggests that all aspiring individuals are destined to be martyrs; only the base manage to escape ruin: since martyrdom is the exception rather than the rule, it follows that Chekhov's ordinary characters and the secondary figures in most of his stories are insignificant and petty. The life depicted is inherently uninteresting; its color is grey, its tone tedium, its only humor the satire of the critic, not the empathy of the sympathizer, and its only tragedy is failure. Chekhov is fundamentally an objective writer, and this gives him an excessive detachment from the life he describes; he never preaches, takes time for lengthy explanations, or avoids the incompleteness which, true to life, can often be dissatisfying in art. However, his attitude toward life is unmistakable even if never openly stated; pessimism, driven by fatalism and denial of the will, but softened by humor and apathy, is its defining quality. This quality might be less apparent in this volume than it would be in a more representative collection of Chekhov's works. Yet, in selecting these stories from over a hundred, I’ve been guided not only by what is best but also by what I thought would be most accessible to an audience unfamiliar with Russian customs and thoughts.
The stories "The Black Monk," "In Exile," "Rothschild's Fiddle," "A Father," and "At the Manor," have been translated from the volume Poviesti i Razskazni, St. Petersburg, 1898; "A Family Council," from Razskazni, 12th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898; "Ward No. 6," from Palata No. Shestoi, 6th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898; "On the Way," "At Home," "Two Tragedies," and "An Event," from V Sumerkakh, 13th edition, St. Petersburg, 1899; and "Sleepyhead," from Khmuriye Liudi, 8th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898. "In Exile" was published in the Fortnightly Review in September, 1903, and is reprinted here with the Editor's permission.
The stories "The Black Monk," "In Exile," "Rothschild's Fiddle," "A Father," and "At the Manor" have been translated from the collection Poviesti i Razskazni, St. Petersburg, 1898; "A Family Council," from Razskazni, 12th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898; "Ward No. 6," from Palata No. Shestoi, 6th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898; "On the Way," "At Home," "Two Tragedies," and "An Event," from V Sumerkakh, 13th edition, St. Petersburg, 1899; and "Sleepyhead," from Khmuriye Liudi, 8th edition, St. Petersburg, 1898. "In Exile" was published in the Fortnightly Review in September 1903 and is reprinted here with the Editor's permission.
R. E. C. L.
R.E.C.L.
CONTENTS
The Black Monk
On the Way
A Family Council
At Home
In Exile
Rothschild's Fiddle
A Father
Two Tragedies
Sleepyhead
At the Manor
An Event
Ward No. 6
CONTENTS
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THE BLACK MONK
Andrei Vasilyevitch Kovrin, Magister, had worn himself out, and unsettled his nerves. He made no effort to undergo regular treatment; but only incidentally, over a bottle of wine, spoke to his friend the doctor; and his friend the doctor advised him to spend all the spring and summer in the country. And in the nick of time came a long letter from Tánya Pesótsky, asking him to come and stay with her father at Borisovka. He decided to go.
Andrei Vasilyevitch Kovrin, Magister, was really worn out and anxious. He didn’t bother to follow any proper treatment; instead, he casually mentioned his troubles to his doctor friend over a bottle of wine. The doctor suggested that he should spend the entire spring and summer in the countryside. Just then, he received a lengthy letter from Tánya Pesótsky, inviting him to come and stay with her father at Borisovka. He made up his mind to go.
But first (it was in April) he travelled to his own estate, to his native Kovrinka, and spent three weeks in solitude; and only when the fine weather came drove across the country to his former guardian and second parent, Pesótsky, the celebrated Russian horti-culturist. From Kovrinka to Borisovka, the home of the Pesótskys, was a distance of some seventy versts, and in the easy, springed calêche the drive along the roads, soft in springtime, promised real enjoyment.
But first (it was in April), he went to his own estate, to his hometown of Kovrinka, and spent three weeks alone. Only when the nice weather arrived did he drive across the countryside to his former guardian and second parent, Pesótsky, the famous Russian horticulturist. The distance from Kovrinka to Borisovka, the Pesótsky home, was about seventy versts, and the ride in the comfortable spring calêche along the soft, spring roads promised a real pleasure.
The house at Borisovka was, large, faced with a colonnade, and adorned with figures of lions with the plaster falling off. At the door stood a servant in livery. The old park, gloomy and severe, laid out in English fashion, stretched for nearly a verst from the house down to the river, and ended there in a steep clay bank covered with pines whose bare roots resembled shaggy paws. Below sparkled a deserted stream; overhead the snipe circled about with melancholy cries—all, in short, seemed to invite a visitor to sit down and write a ballad. But the gardens and orchards, which together with the seed-plots occupied some eighty acres, inspired very different feelings. Even in the worst of weather they were bright and joy-inspiring. Such wonderful roses, lilies, camelias, such tulips, such a host of flowering plants of every possible kind and colour, from staring white to sooty black,—such a wealth of blossoms Kovrin had never seen before. The spring was only beginning, and the greatest rareties were hidden under glass; but already enough bloomed in the alleys and beds to make up an empire of delicate shades. And most charming of all was it in the early hours of morning, when dewdrops glistened on every petal and leaf.
The house at Borisovka was large, featured a colonnade, and was decorated with lion statues that had peeling plaster. At the entrance stood a servant in uniform. The old park, dark and imposing, designed in an English style, stretched nearly a kilometer from the house down to the river, ending in a steep clay bank covered with pines whose bare roots looked like shaggy paws. Below, a deserted stream sparkled; overhead, snipe circled with mournful cries—all of it seemed to invite a visitor to sit down and write a ballad. But the gardens and orchards, which along with the seed plots spanned about eighty acres, inspired very different feelings. Even in the worst weather, they were bright and uplifting. Such amazing roses, lilies, camellias, tulips, and a multitude of flowering plants in every conceivable color, from glaring white to deep black—Kovrin had never seen such a wealth of blooms before. Spring had just begun, and the rarest plants were still hidden under glass; yet there was already enough blooming in the pathways and beds to create an empire of delicate colors. And it was most enchanting in the early morning hours when dewdrops sparkled on every petal and leaf.
In childhood the decorative part of the garden, called contemptuously by Pesótsky "the rubbish," had produced on Kovrin a fabulous impression. What miracles of art, what studied monstrosities, what monkeries of nature! Espaliers of fruit trees, a pear tree shaped like a pyramidal poplar, globular oaks and lindens, apple-tree houses, arches, monograms, candelabra—even the date 1862 in plum trees, to commemorate the year in which Pesótsky first engaged in the art of gardening. There were stately, symmetrical trees, with trunks erect as those of palms, which after examination proved to be gooseberry or currant trees. But what most of all enlivened the garden and gave it its joyous tone was the constant movement of Pesótsky's gardeners. From early morning to late at night, by the trees, by the bushes, in the alleys, and on the beds swarmed men as busy as ants, with barrows, spades, and watering-pots.
In childhood, the decorative part of the garden, sneeringly called "the rubbish" by Pesótsky, had left Kovrin with a magical impression. What artistic wonders, what carefully crafted oddities, what quirky creations of nature! Trellises of fruit trees, a pear tree shaped like a tall poplar, round oak and linden trees, apple tree houses, arches, monograms, candelabras—even the date 1862 spelled out in plum trees, marking the year when Pesótsky first took up gardening. There were grand, symmetrical trees, with trunks as upright as palm trees, which upon closer look turned out to be gooseberry or currant bushes. But what really brought the garden to life and gave it a cheerful vibe was the constant activity of Pesótsky's gardeners. From early morning to late at night, around the trees, bushes, paths, and flower beds, swarmed men as busy as ants, armed with wheelbarrows, shovels, and watering cans.
Kovrin arrived at Borisovka at nine o'clock. He found Tánya and her father in great alarm. The clear starlight night foretold frost, and the head gardener, Ivan Karlitch, had gone to town, so that there was no one who could be relied upon. At supper they spoke only of the impending frost; and it was decided that Tánya should not go to bed at all, but should inspect the gardens at one o'clock and see if all were in order, while Yegor Semiónovitch should rise at three o'clock, or even earlier.
Kovrin got to Borisovka at nine o'clock. He found Tánya and her dad really worried. The clear, starry night suggested it would freeze, and the head gardener, Ivan Karlitch, had gone to town, so there was no one they could count on. At dinner, they only talked about the coming frost; it was decided that Tánya wouldn’t go to bed at all but would check the gardens at one o'clock to make sure everything was fine, while Yegor Semiónovitch would get up at three o'clock, or even earlier.
Kovrin sat with Tánya all the evening, and after midnight accompanied her to the garden. The air already smelt strongly of burning. In the great orchard, called "the commercial," which every year brought Yegor Semiónovitch thousands of roubles profit, there already crept along the ground the thick, black, sour smoke which was to clothe the young leaves and save the plants. The trees were marshalled like chessmen in straight rows—like ranks of soldiers; and this pedantic regularity, together with the uniformity of height, made the garden seem monotonous and even tiresome. Kovrin and Tánya walked up and down the alleys, and watched the fires of dung, straw, and litter; but seldom met the workmen, who wandered in the smoke like shadows. Only the cherry and plum trees and a few apple trees were in blossom, but the whole garden was shrouded in smoke, and it was only when they reached the seed-plots that Kovrin was able to breathe.
Kovrin spent the evening with Tánya, and after midnight, he walked her to the garden. The air was already thick with the smell of smoke. In the large orchard known as "the commercial," which brought Yegor Semiónovitch thousands of roubles in profit every year, a dense, black smoke was creeping along the ground, intended to cover the young leaves and protect the plants. The trees stood in straight rows like chess pieces—like soldiers in formation; this strict regularity, along with the uniform height, made the garden feel monotonous and even tiring. Kovrin and Tánya strolled through the paths, watching the fires of dung, straw, and waste; but they rarely encountered the workers, who moved through the smoke like shadows. Only the cherry and plum trees, along with a few apple trees, were in bloom, but the entire garden was enveloped in smoke, and it was only when they reached the seed plots that Kovrin could finally breathe.
"I remember when I was a child sneezing from the smoke," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "but to this day I cannot understand how smoke saves plants from the frost."
"I remember sneezing from the smoke when I was a kid," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "but I still can't figure out how smoke protects plants from the frost."
"Smoke is a good substitute when there are no clouds," answered Tánya.
"Smoke works well when there aren’t any clouds," Tánya replied.
"But what do you want the clouds for?"
"But what do you need the clouds for?"
"In dull and cloudy weather we have no morning frosts."
"In dull and cloudy weather, we don’t experience morning frosts."
"Is that so?" said Kovrin.
"Really?" said Kovrin.
He laughed and took Tánya by the hand. Her broad, very serious, chilled face; her thick, black eyebrows; the stiff collar on her jacket which prevented her from moving her head freely; her dress tucked up out of the dew; and her whole figure, erect and slight, pleased him.
He laughed and took Tánya by the hand. Her wide, very serious, cold face; her thick, black eyebrows; the stiff collar on her jacket that kept her from moving her head freely; her dress pulled up out of the dew; and her entire figure, straight and slim, pleased him.
"Heavens! how she has grown!" he said to himself. "When I was here last time, five years ago, you were quite a child. You were thin, long-legged, and untidy, and wore a short dress, and I used to tease you. What a change in five years!"
"Heavens! How much she has grown!" he thought to himself. "The last time I was here, five years ago, you were just a kid. You were skinny, gangly, and messy, and you wore a short dress, and I used to tease you. What a difference five years makes!"
"Yes, five years!" sighed Tánya. "A lot of things have happened since then. Tell me, Andrei, honestly," she said, looking merrily into his face, "do you feel that you have got out of touch with us? But why do I ask? You are a man, you live your own interesting life, you.... Some estrangement is natural. But whether that is so or not, Andrusha, I want you now to look on us as your own. We have a right to that."
"Yes, five years!" sighed Tánya. "So much has happened since then. Tell me, Andrei, honestly," she said, looking happily into his face, "do you feel like you’ve drifted away from us? But why do I even ask? You’re a man; you have your own interesting life, you.... Some distance is normal. But whether that's true or not, Andrusha, I want you to see us as your own now. We deserve that."
"I do, already, Tánya."
"I already do, Tánya."
"Your word of honour?"
"Your word?"
"My word of honour."
"My word is my bond."
"You were surprised that we had so many of your photographs. But surely you know how my father adores you, worships you. You are a scholar, and not an ordinary man; you have built up a brilliant career, and he is firmly convinced that you turned out a success because he educated you. I do not interfere with his delusion. Let him believe it!"
"You were surprised that we had so many of your photos. But you must know how much my dad adores you, worships you. You’re a scholar, not just an ordinary guy; you’ve built an impressive career, and he truly believes you’re a success because he educated you. I don’t interfere with his delusion. Let him believe it!"
Already dawn. The sky paled, and the foliage and clouds of smoke began to show themselves more clearly. The nightingale sang, and from the fields came the cry of quails.
Already dawn. The sky lightened, and the leaves and clouds of smoke started to reveal themselves more clearly. The nightingale sang, and from the fields came the call of quails.
"It is time for bed!" said Tánya. "It is cold too." She took Kovrin by the hand. "Thanks, Andrusha, for coming. We are cursed with most uninteresting acquaintances, and not many even of them. With us it is always garden, garden, garden, and nothing else. Trunks, timbers," she laughed, "pippins, rennets, budding, pruning, grafting.... All our life goes into the garden, we never even dream of anything but apples and pears. Of course this is all very good and useful, but sometimes I cannot help wishing for change. I remember when you used to come and pay us visits, and when you came home for the holidays, how the whole house grew fresher and brighter, as if someone had taken the covers off the furniture; I was then a very little girl, but I understood...."
"It’s time for bed!" said Tánya. "And it’s cold too." She took Kovrin's hand. "Thanks, Andrusha, for coming. We're stuck with some really boring acquaintances, and not many of them at that. It’s always garden, garden, garden with us, and nothing else. Trunks, wood," she laughed, "pippins, rennets, budding, pruning, grafting.... Our whole life revolves around the garden; we don’t even dream of anything besides apples and pears. Sure, it’s all very good and useful, but sometimes I can’t help wishing for a change. I remember when you used to visit us and when you came home for the holidays, how the whole house felt fresher and brighter, like someone had taken the covers off the furniture; I was just a little girl back then, but I understood...."
Tánya spoke for a time, and spoke with feeling. Then suddenly it came into Kovrin's head that during the summer he might become attached to this little, weak, talkative being, that he might get carried away, fall in love—in their position what was more probable and natural? The thought pleased him, amused him, and as he bent down to the kind, troubled face, he hummed to himself Pushkin's couplet:
Tánya talked for a while, and she spoke with emotion. Then suddenly, it occurred to Kovrin that over the summer he might grow fond of this small, fragile, chatty person, that he might get swept up in it, fall in love—what could be more likely and natural in their situation? The idea made him happy, entertained him, and as he leaned down to the kind, worried face, he hummed to himself a couplet by Pushkin:
"Oniégin; I will not conceal
That I love Tatyana madly."
"Oniégin; I won’t hide it
That I’m crazy in love with Tatyana."
By the time they reached the house Yegor Semiónovitch had risen. Kovrin felt no desire to sleep; he entered into conversation with the old man, and returned with him to the garden. Yegor Semiónovitch was tall, broad-shouldered, and fat. He suffered from shortness of breath, yet walked so quickly that it was difficult to keep up with him. His expression was always troubled and hurried, and he seemed to be thinking that if he were a single second late everything would be destroyed.
By the time they got to the house, Yegor Semiónovitch had gotten up. Kovrin didn’t feel like sleeping; he started chatting with the old man and walked back to the garden with him. Yegor Semiónovitch was tall, broad-shouldered, and overweight. He struggled with shortness of breath, yet he walked so fast that it was hard to keep up with him. His face always looked worried and rushed, and he seemed to think that if he were even a second late, everything would fall apart.
"There, brother, is a mystery for you!" he began, stopping to recover breath. "On the surface of the ground, as you see, there is frost, but raise the thermometer a couple of yards on your stick, and it is quite warm.... Why is that?"
"There, brother, is a mystery for you!" he began, pausing to catch his breath. "On the ground, as you can see, there's frost, but if you lift the thermometer a couple of feet on your stick, it's really warm... Why is that?"
"I confess I don't know," said Kovrin, laughing.
"I admit I don't know," Kovrin said with a laugh.
"No!... You can't know everything.... The biggest brain cannot comprehend everything. You are still engaged with your philosophy?"
"No!... You can't know everything.... Even the smartest person can't understand it all. Are you still into your philosophy?"
"Yes, ... I am studying psychology, and philosophy generally."
"Yes, ... I'm studying psychology and philosophy in general."
"And it doesn't bore you?"
"And it doesn't get boring?"
"On the contrary, I couldn't live without it."
"Actually, I couldn't live without it."
"Well, God grant ..." began Yegor Semiónovitch, smoothing his big whiskers thoughtfully. "Well, God grant ... I am very glad for your sake, brother, very glad...."
"Well, I hope God grants ..." started Yegor Semiónovitch, thoughtfully smoothing his big whiskers. "Well, I hope God grants ... I’m really happy for you, brother, really happy...."
Suddenly he began to listen, and making a terrible face, ran off the path and soon vanished among the trees in a cloud of smoke.
Suddenly, he started to listen, and grimacing terribly, he ran off the path and quickly disappeared among the trees in a cloud of smoke.
"Who tethered this horse to the tree?" rang out a despairing voice. "Which of you thieves and murderers dared to tether this horse to the apple tree? My God, my God! Ruined, ruined, spoiled, destroyed! The garden is ruined, the garden is destroyed! My God!"
"Who tied this horse to the tree?" shouted a desperate voice. "Which one of you thieves and murderers had the guts to tie this horse to the apple tree? Oh my God, oh my God! Ruined, ruined, spoiled, destroyed! The garden is ruined, the garden is destroyed! Oh my God!"
When he returned to Kovrin his face bore an expression of injury and impotence.
When he got back to Kovrin, his face showed a look of hurt and powerlessness.
"What on earth can you do with these accursed people?" he asked in a whining voice, wringing his hands. "Stepka brought a manure cart here last night and tethered the horse to an apple tree ... tied the reins, the idiot, so tight, that the bark is rubbed off in three places. What can you do with men like this? I speak to him and he blinks his eyes and looks stupid. He ought to be hanged!"
"What on earth can you do with these cursed people?" he asked in a whining voice, wringing his hands. "Stepka brought a manure cart here last night and tied the horse to an apple tree... tied the reins, the idiot, so tight that the bark is rubbed off in three places. What can you do with men like this? I talk to him and he just blinks his eyes and looks dumb. He ought to be hanged!"
When at last he calmed down, he embraced Kovrin and kissed him on the cheek.
When he finally calmed down, he hugged Kovrin and kissed him on the cheek.
"Well, God grant ... God grant!..." he stammered. "I am very, very glad that you have come. I cannot say how glad. Thanks!"
"Well, I hope God grants it ... I really do!..." he stammered. "I’m really, really glad you’re here. I can’t even express how glad. Thanks!"
Then, with the same anxious face, and walking with the same quick step, he went round the whole garden, showing his former ward the orangery, the hothouses, the sheds, and two beehives which he described as the miracle of the century.
Then, with the same worried expression and walking quickly, he took his former ward around the entire garden, showing her the orangery, the greenhouses, the sheds, and two beehives that he called the marvel of the century.
As they walked about, the sun rose, lighting up the garden. It grew hot. When he thought of the long, bright day before him, Kovrin remembered that it was but the beginning of May, and that he had before him a whole summer of long, bright, and happy days; and suddenly through him pulsed the joyous, youthful feeling which he had felt when as a child he played in this same garden. And in turn, he embraced the old man and kissed him tenderly. Touched by remembrances, the pair went into the house and drank tea out of the old china cups, with cream and rich biscuits; and these trifles again reminded Kovrin of his childhood and youth. The splendid present and the awakening memories of the past mingled, and a feeling of intense happiness filled his heart.
As they walked around, the sun rose, brightening the garden. It became hot. Thinking about the long, sunny day ahead of him, Kovrin realized it was only the beginning of May, and he had an entire summer of long, bright, happy days ahead; suddenly, he felt a rush of joy and youthful energy, similar to what he experienced as a child playing in this same garden. He warmly embraced the old man and kissed him tenderly. Overwhelmed by memories, the two went inside and enjoyed tea from the old china cups, with cream and rich cookies; these little things reminded Kovrin of his childhood and youth once more. The beautiful present and the awakening memories of the past blended together, filling his heart with a deep sense of happiness.
He waited until Tánya awoke, and having drunk coffee with her, walked through the garden, and then went to his room and began to work. He read attentively, making notes; and only lifted his eyes from his books when he felt that he must look out of the window or at the fresh roses, still wet with dew, which stood in vases on his table. It seemed to hint that every little vein in his body trembled and pulsated with joy.
He waited for Tánya to wake up, and after having coffee with her, he walked through the garden, then went to his room and started working. He read carefully, taking notes; he only glanced up from his books when he felt the urge to look out the window or at the fresh roses, still wet with dew, that were in vases on his table. It seemed to indicate that every little vein in his body was trembling and pulsing with joy.
II
But in the country Kovrin continued to live the same nervous and untranquil life as he had lived in town. He read much, wrote much, studied Italian; and when he went for walks, thought all the time of returning to work. He slept so little that he astonished the household; if by chance he slept in the daytime for half an hour, he could not sleep all the following night. Yet after these sleepless nights he felt active and gay.
But in the countryside, Kovrin continued to lead the same anxious and restless life he had in the city. He read a lot, wrote a lot, and studied Italian; and whenever he went for walks, he constantly thought about getting back to work. He slept so little that it surprised the household; if he happened to nap during the day for half an hour, he couldn’t sleep at all that night. Still, after these sleepless nights, he felt energetic and cheerful.
He talked much, drank wine, and smoked expensive cigars. Often, nearly every day, young girls from the neighbouring country-houses drove over to Borisovka, played the piano with Tánya, and sang. Sometimes the visitor was a young man, also a neighbour, who played the violin well. Kovrin listened eagerly to their music and singing, but was exhausted by it, so exhausted sometimes that his eyes closed involuntarily, and his head drooped on his shoulder.
He talked a lot, drank wine, and smoked pricey cigars. Almost every day, young girls from the nearby country houses would come over to Borisovka, play the piano with Tánya, and sing. Occasionally, a young man, also a neighbor, who was good at playing the violin, would join them. Kovrin listened intently to their music and singing, but it tired him out, so much so that his eyes would sometimes close on their own, and his head would drop onto his shoulder.
One evening after tea he sat upon the balcony, reading. In the drawing-room Tánya—a soprano, one of her friends—a contralto, and the young violinist studied the well-known serenade of Braga. Kovrin listened to the words, but though they were Russian, could not understand their meaning. At last, laying down his book and listening attentively, he understood. A girl with a disordered imagination heard by night in a garden some mysterious sounds, sounds so beautiful and strange that she was forced to recognise their harmony and holiness, which to us mortals are incomprehensible, and therefore flew back to heaven. Kovrin's eyelids drooped. He rose, and in exhaustion walked up and down the drawing-room, and then up and down the hall. When the music ceased, he took Tánya by the hand and went out with her to the balcony.
One evening after dinner, he sat on the balcony reading. In the living room, Tánya—a soprano—her friend—a contralto—and the young violinist practiced the well-known serenade by Braga. Kovrin listened to the lyrics, but even though they were in Russian, he couldn't grasp their meaning. Finally, putting down his book and focusing intently, he started to understand. A girl with a disturbed mind hears some mysterious sounds in a garden at night, sounds so beautiful and strange that she has to recognize their harmony and holiness, which are incomprehensible to us mortals, and so she flies back to heaven. Kovrin’s eyelids grew heavy. He got up and, feeling drained, walked back and forth in the living room, then in the hallway. When the music stopped, he took Tánya's hand and went out to the balcony with her.
"All day—since early morning," he began, "my head has been taken up with a strange legend. I cannot remember whether I read it, or where I heard it, but the legend is very remarkable and not very coherent. I may begin by saying that it is not very clear. A thousand years ago a monk, robed in black, wandered in the wilderness—somewhere in Syria or Arabia ... Some miles away the fishermen saw another black monk moving slowly over the surface of the lake. The second monk was a mirage. Now put out of your mind all the laws of optics, which legend, of course, does not recognise, and listen. From the first mirage was produced another mirage, from the second a third, so that the image of the Black Monk is eternally reflected from one stratum of the atmosphere to another. At one time it was seen in Africa, then in Spain, then in India, then in the Far North. At last it issued from the limits of the earth's atmosphere, but never came across conditions which would cause it to disappear. Maybe it is seen to-day in Mars or in the constellation of the Southern Cross. Now the whole point, the very essence of the legend, lies in the prediction that exactly a thousand years after the monk went into the wilderness, the mirage will again be cast into the atmosphere of the earth and show itself to the world of men. This term of a thousand years, it appears, is now expiring.... According to the legend we must expect the Black Monk to-day or to-morrow."
"All day—since early morning," he started, "I've been preoccupied with a strange legend. I can't remember if I read it or where I heard it, but the legend is really interesting and not very coherent. I should mention that it's not very clear. A thousand years ago, a monk in a black robe wandered through the wilderness—somewhere in Syria or Arabia... Some miles away, fishermen saw another black monk slowly moving over the surface of the lake. The second monk was just a mirage. Now, forget everything you know about optics, which the legend obviously ignores, and listen. From the first mirage came another mirage, and from the second a third, so the image of the Black Monk is continuously reflected from one layer of the atmosphere to another. At one point, it was seen in Africa, then in Spain, then in India, and then in the Far North. Eventually, it moved beyond the earth's atmosphere, but never encountered conditions that would make it disappear. Maybe it's visible today on Mars or in the Southern Cross constellation. The whole point, the essence of the legend, is that exactly a thousand years after the monk entered the wilderness, the mirage will be projected back into Earth's atmosphere and reveal itself to humanity. This thousand-year period, it seems, is almost up... According to the legend, we should expect to see the Black Monk today or tomorrow."
"It is a strange story," said Tánya, whom the legend did not please.
"It’s a strange story," said Tánya, who wasn’t impressed by the legend.
"But the most astonishing thing," laughed Kovrin, "is that I cannot remember how this legend came into my head. Did I read it? Did I hear it? Or can it be that I dreamed of the Black Monk? I cannot remember. But the legend interests me. All day long I thought of nothing else."
"But the most surprising thing," laughed Kovrin, "is that I can't remember how this legend got into my head. Did I read it? Did I hear it? Or did I dream about the Black Monk? I just can't recall. But the legend fascinates me. All day long, I thought about nothing else."
Releasing Tánya, who returned to her visitors, he went out of the house, and walked lost in thought beside the flower-beds. Already the sun was setting. The freshly watered flowers exhaled a damp, irritating smell. In the house the music had again begun, and from the distance the violin produced the effect of a human voice. Straining his memory in an attempt to recall where he had heard the legend, Kovrin walked slowly across the park, and then, not noticing where he went, to the river-bank.
Releasing Tánya, who went back to her guests, he left the house and walked aimlessly beside the flower beds. The sun was already setting. The freshly watered flowers gave off a damp, annoying smell. Inside, the music had started up again, and from a distance, the violin sounded almost like a human voice. As Kovrin tried to remember where he had heard the legend, he slowly walked through the park, not realizing he was heading toward the riverbank.
By the path which ran down among the uncovered roots to the water's edge Kovrin descended, frightening the snipe, and disturbing two ducks. On the dark pine trees glowed the rays of the setting sun, but on the surface of the river darkness had already fallen. Kovrin crossed the stream. Before him now lay a broad field covered with young rye. Neither human dwelling nor human soul was visible in the distance; and it seemed that the path must lead to the unexplored, enigmatical region in the west where the sun had already set—where still, vast and majestic, flamed the afterglow.
By the path that wound down among the exposed roots to the water's edge, Kovrin made his way, scaring off a snipe and disturbing two ducks. The rays of the setting sun illuminated the dark pine trees, but the surface of the river had already grown dark. Kovrin crossed the stream. Ahead of him was a wide field covered in young rye. There was no sign of human habitation or any people in sight; it seemed the path must lead to the uncharted, mysterious area in the west where the sun had already set—where the afterglow still burned, vast and majestic.
"How open it is—how peaceful and free!" thought Kovrin, walking along the path. "It seems as if all the world is looking at me from a hiding-place and waiting for me to comprehend it."
"How open it is—how peaceful and free!" thought Kovrin, walking along the path. "It feels like the whole world is watching me from a hiding spot, just waiting for me to understand it."
A wave passed over the rye, and the light evening breeze blew softly on his uncovered head. Yet a minute more and the breeze blew again, this time more strongly, the rye rustled, and from behind came the dull murmur of the pines. Kovrin stopped in amazement On the horizon, like a cyclone or waterspout, a great, black pillar rose up from earth to heaven. Its outlines were undefined; but from the first it might be seen that it was not standing still, but moving with inconceivable speed towards Kovrin; and the nearer it came the smaller and smaller it grew. Involuntarily Kovrin rushed aside and made a path for it. A monk in black clothing, with grey hair and black eyebrows, crossing his hands upon his chest, was borne past. His bare feet were above the ground. Having swept some twenty yards past Kovrin, he looked at him, nodded his head, and smiled kindly and at the same time slyly. His face was pale and thin. When he had passed by Kovrin he again began to grow, flew across the river, struck inaudibly against the clay bank and pine trees, and, passing through them, vanished like smoke.
A wave rolled over the rye, and a light evening breeze gently blew on his bare head. Just a minute later, the breeze picked up, rustling the rye, and in the background came the dull murmur of the pines. Kovrin stood there in amazement. On the horizon, like a cyclone or waterspout, a large black pillar rose from the ground to the sky. Its edges were blurry, but it was clear from the start that it wasn’t stationary; it was moving with incredible speed towards Kovrin, and as it got closer, it shrank smaller and smaller. Without thinking, Kovrin stepped aside to make way for it. A monk in a black robe, with gray hair and black eyebrows, crossed his arms over his chest as he was carried past. His bare feet hovered above the ground. After sweeping about twenty yards past Kovrin, he glanced at him, nodded, and smiled kindly yet slyly. His face was pale and thin. After passing Kovrin, the monk began to grow again, flew across the river, silently struck the clay bank and pine trees, and, moving through them, vanished like smoke.
"You see," stammered Kovrin, "after all, the legend was true!"
"You see," Kovrin stammered, "the legend actually was true!"
Making no attempt to explain this strange phenomenon; satisfied with the fact that he had so closely and so plainly seen not only the black clothing but even the face and eyes of the monk; agitated agreeably, he returned home.
Making no effort to explain this odd occurrence; pleased with the fact that he had so clearly and obviously seen not just the black clothing but also the monk’s face and eyes; feeling pleasantly unsettled, he headed home.
In the park and in the garden visitors were walking quietly; in the house the music continued. So he alone had seen the Black Monk. He felt a strong desire to tell what he had seen to Tánya and Yegor Semiónovitch, but feared that they would regard it as a hallucination, and decided to keep his counsel. He laughed loudly, sang, danced a mazurka, and felt in the best of spirits; and the guests and Tánya noticed upon his face a peculiar expression of ecstasy and inspiration, and found him very interesting.
In the park and garden, visitors were strolling quietly; inside the house, the music played on. He was the only one who had seen the Black Monk. He really wanted to tell Tánya and Yegor Semiónovitch what he had witnessed, but he worried they would think he was hallucinating, so he decided to keep it to himself. He laughed loudly, sang, danced a mazurka, and felt great; the guests and Tánya noticed a strange look of ecstasy and inspiration on his face, which they found very intriguing.
III
When supper was over and the visitors had gone, he went to his own room, and lay on the sofa. He wished to think of the monk. But in a few minutes Tánya entered.
When dinner was finished and the guests had left, he went to his own room and lay down on the couch. He wanted to think about the monk. But a few minutes later, Tánya walked in.
"There, Andrusha, you can read father's articles ..." she said. "They are splendid articles. He writes very well."
"There, Andrusha, you can read Dad's articles ..." she said. "They’re amazing articles. He writes really well."
"Magnificent!" said Yegor Semiónovitch, coming in after her, with a forced smile. "Don't listen to her, please!... Or read them only if you want to go to sleep—they are a splendid soporific."
"Magnificent!" said Yegor Semiónovitch, coming in after her, with a forced smile. "Don't listen to her, please!... Or read them only if you want to fall asleep—they're a great way to knock yourself out."
"In my opinion they are magnificent," said Tánya, deeply convinced. "Read them, Andrusha, and persuade father to write more often. He could write a whole treatise on gardening."
"In my opinion, they’re amazing," Tánya said, fully convinced. "Read them, Andrusha, and convince Dad to write more often. He could write a whole essay on gardening."
Yegor Semiónovitch laughed, blushed, and stammered out the conventional phrases used by abashed authors. At last he gave in.
Yegor Semiónovitch laughed, blushed, and stumbled over the usual phrases that shy authors use. Eventually, he gave in.
"If you must read them, read first these papers of Gauche's, and the Russian articles," he stammered, picking out the papers with trembling hands. "Otherwise you won't understand them. Before you read my replies you must know what I am replying to. But it won't interest you ... stupid. And it's time for bed."
"If you really have to read them, start with these papers by Gauche and the Russian articles," he said nervously, choosing the papers with shaky hands. "Otherwise, you won't get what I'm talking about. Before you read my responses, you need to know what I'm responding to. But you probably won’t care… How silly. And it's time for bed."
Tánya went out. Yegor Semiónovitch sat on the end of the sofa and sighed loudly.
Tánya went out. Yegor Semiónovitch sat at the end of the sofa and sighed heavily.
"Akh, brother mine ..." he began after a long silence. As you see, my dear Magister, I write articles, and exhibit at shows, and get medals sometimes. ... Pesótsky, they say, has apples as big as your head.... Pesótsky has made a fortune out of his gardens.... In one word:
"Akh, my brother..." he started after a long pause. As you can see, my dear Magister, I write articles, showcase at exhibitions, and sometimes win awards... They say Pesótsky grows apples as big as your head... Pesótsky has made a fortune from his gardens... In short:
"'Rich and glorious is Kotchubéi.'"
"Rich and glorious is Kotchubéi."
"But I should like to ask you what is going to be the end of all this? The gardens—there is no question of that—are splendid, they are models.... Not gardens at all, in short, but a whole institution of high political importance, and a step towards a new era in Russian agriculture and Russian industry.... But for what purpose? What ultimate object?"
"But I want to ask you what all of this is leading to? The gardens—there's no doubt about it—are amazing, they're models.... Not gardens at all, really, but a whole institution of significant political importance, and a move towards a new era in Russian agriculture and industry.... But for what reason? What’s the ultimate goal?"
"That question is easily answered."
"That question is easy to answer."
"I do not mean in that sense. What I want to know is what will happen with the garden when I die? As things are, it would not last without me a single month. The secret does not lie in the fact that the garden is big and the workers many, but in the fact that I love the work—you understand? I love it, perhaps, more than I love myself. Just look at me! I work from morning to night. I do everything with my own hands. All grafting, all pruning, all planting—everything is done by me. When I am helped I feel jealous, and get irritated to the point of rudeness. The whole secret is in love, in a sharp master's eye, in a master's hands, and in the feeling when I drive over to a friend and sit down for half an hour, that I have left my heart behind me and am not myself—all the time I am in dread that something has happened to the garden. Now suppose I die to-morrow, who will replace all this? Who will do the work? The head gardeners? The workmen? Why the whole burden of my present worries is that my greatest enemy is not the hare or the beetle or the frost, but the hands of the stranger."
"I don’t mean it like that. What I want to know is what will happen to the garden when I die? As it stands, it wouldn't last a month without me. The secret isn’t just that the garden is big and there are a lot of workers, but rather that I love this work—you get what I mean? I love it, maybe even more than I love myself. Just look at me! I work from morning to night. I do everything myself. All the grafting, all the pruning, all the planting—everything is done by me. When I get help, I feel jealous and get so irritated I can be rude. The whole secret lies in love, in a sharp master’s eye, in a master’s hands, and in the feeling I get when I visit a friend and sit down for half an hour, knowing I’ve left my heart behind and I’m not really myself—all the while, I’m terrified that something has happened to the garden. Now, if I die tomorrow, who will take over all this? Who will do the work? The head gardeners? The workers? The thing that worries me the most is that my biggest enemy isn’t the hare, the beetle, or the frost, but the hands of a stranger."
"But Tánya?" said Kovrin, laughing. "Surely she is not more dangerous than a hare?... She loves and understands the work."
"But Tánya?" Kovrin said, laughing. "She can't be more dangerous than a hare, right?... She loves and gets the work."
"Yes, Tánya loves it and understands it. If after my death the garden should fall to her as mistress, then I could wish for nothing better. But suppose—which God forbid—she should marry!" Yegor Semiónovitch whispered and look at Kovrin with frightened eyes. "That's the whole crux. She might marry, there would be children, and there would be no time to attend to the garden. That is bad enough. But what I fear most of all is that she may marry some spendthrift who is always in want of money, who will lease the garden to tradesmen, and the whole thing will go to the devil in the first year. In a business like this a woman, is the scourge of God."
"Yes, Tánya loves it and gets it. If, after I die, the garden becomes hers, I couldn't wish for anything better. But suppose—God forbid—she gets married!" Yegor Semiónovitch whispered, looking at Kovrin with scared eyes. "That's the real issue. She might marry, there would be kids, and she wouldn't have time for the garden. That's bad enough. But what I fear the most is that she might marry some money-waster who's always broke, who will rent the garden out to vendors, and everything will fall apart in the first year. In a business like this, a woman is a disaster."
Yegor Semiónovitch sighed and was silent for a few minutes.
Yegor Semiónovitch sighed and stayed quiet for a few minutes.
"Perhaps you may call it egoism. But I do not want Tánya to marry. I am afraid! You've seen that fop who comes along with a fiddle and makes a noise. I know Tánya would never marry him, yet I cannot bear the sight of him.... In short, brother, I am a character ... and I know it."
"Maybe you would call it selfishness. But I really don't want Tánya to get married. I'm scared! You've seen that guy who shows up with a fiddle and makes a racket. I know Tánya would never marry him, but I just can't stand to see him.... In short, brother, I am who I am... and I know it."
Yegor Semiónovitch rose and walked excitedly up and down the room. It was plain that he had something very serious to say, but could not bring himself to the point.
Yegor Semiónovitch stood up and paced the room excitedly. It was clear that he had something really important to say, but he couldn't get to the point.
"I love you too sincerely not to talk to you frankly," he said, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "In all delicate questions I say what I think, and dislike mystification. I tell you plainly, therefore, that you are the only man whom I should not be afraid of Tánya marrying. You are a clever man, you have a heart, and you would not see my life's work ruined. And what is more, I love you as my own son ... and am proud of you. So if you and Tánya were to end ... in a sort of romance ... I should be very glad and very happy. I tell you this straight to your face, without shame, as becomes an honest man."
"I love you too sincerely not to speak honestly with you," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "In all sensitive matters, I say what I think and can't stand any confusion. So I’ll be clear: you are the only person I wouldn’t worry about Tánya marrying. You’re smart, you have a good heart, and you wouldn’t let my life's work fall apart. Plus, I love you like my own son... and I’m proud of you. So if you and Tánya were to have a romance... I would be very glad and very happy. I’m telling you this directly, without any shame, as any honest person should."
Kovrin smiled. Yegor Semiónovitch opened the door, and was leaving the room, but stopped suddenly on the threshold.
Kovrin smiled. Yegor Semiónovitch opened the door and was about to leave the room when he suddenly stopped at the threshold.
"And if you and Tánya had a son, I could make a horti-culturist out of him," he added. "But that is an idle fancy. Good night!"
"And if you and Tánya had a son, I could make him a horticulturist," he added. "But that's just a silly thought. Good night!"
Left alone, Kovrin settled himself comfortably, and took up his host's articles. The first was entitled "Intermediate Culture," the second "A Few Words in Reply to the Remarks of Mr. Z. about the Treatment of the Soil of a New Garden," the third "More about Grafting." The others were similar in scope. But all breathed restlessness and sickly irritation. Even a paper with the peaceful title of "Russian Apple Trees" exhaled irritability. Yegor Semiónovitch began with the words "Audi alteram partem," and ended it with "Sapienti sat"; and between these learned quotations flowed a whole torrent of acid words directed against "the learned ignorance of our patent horticulturists who observe nature from their academic chairs," and against M. Gauche, "whose fame is founded on the admiration of the profane and dilletanti" And finally Kovrin came across an uncalled-for and quite insincere expression of regret that it is no longer legal to flog peasants who are caught stealing fruit and injuring trees.
Left alone, Kovrin made himself comfortable and picked up his host's articles. The first was titled "Intermediate Culture," the second "A Few Words in Reply to Mr. Z.'s Remarks on New Garden Soil Treatment," and the third "More on Grafting." The others had similar themes. But all of them conveyed a sense of restlessness and irritation. Even an article with the calm title "Russian Apple Trees" radiated annoyance. Yegor Semiónovitch started with the phrase "Audi alteram partem" and wrapped it up with "Sapienti sat"; and between these scholarly quotes flowed a stream of bitter words aimed at "the learned ignorance of our so-called horticulturists who observe nature from their academic chairs," and targeted M. Gauche, "whose fame is based on the admiration of amateurs and dilettantes." Finally, Kovrin stumbled upon a pointless and quite insincere remark expressing regret that it's no longer permissible to whip peasants caught stealing fruit or damaging trees.
"His is good work, wholesome and fascinating," thought Kovrin, "yet in these pamphlets we have nothing but bad temper and war to the knife. I suppose it is the same everywhere; in all careers men of ideas are nervous, and victims of this kind of exalted sensitiveness. I suppose it must be so."
"His work is great, healthy, and intriguing," Kovrin thought, "but in these pamphlets, all we see is bad mood and hostility. I guess it’s the same everywhere; in every field, people with ideas are anxious and suffer from this kind of heightened sensitivity. I suppose it has to be that way."
He thought of Tánya, so delighted with her father's articles, and then of Yegor Semiónovitch. Tánya, small, pale, and slight, with her collar-bone showing, with her widely-opened, her dark and clever eyes, which it seemed were always searching for something. And Yegor Semiónovitch with his little, hurried steps. He thought again of Tánya, fond of talking, fond of argument, and always accompanying even the most insignificant phrases with mimicry and gesticulation. Nervous—she must be nervous in the highest degree. Again Kovrin began to read, but he understood nothing, and threw down his books. The agreeable emotion with which he had danced the mazurka and listened to the music still held possession of him, and aroused a multitude of thoughts. It flashed upon him that if this strange, unnatural monk had been seen by him alone, he must be ill, ill to the point of suffering from hallucinations. The thought frightened him, but not for long.
He thought about Tánya, who was so excited about her dad's articles, and then about Yegor Semiónovitch. Tánya, small, pale, and delicate, with her collarbone visible, and her dark, expressive eyes that always seemed to be searching for something. And Yegor Semiónovitch with his quick, small steps. He thought again about Tánya, who loved to chat, enjoyed debating, and would often add gestures and expressions to even the simplest comments. She must be extremely anxious. Kovrin started reading again, but he understood nothing and tossed his books aside. The pleasant feeling he had from dancing the mazurka and listening to the music still lingered, stirring up a flurry of thoughts. It occurred to him that if this strange, unnatural monk was only seen by him, he must be sick, sick enough to be experiencing hallucinations. The thought scared him, but not for long.
He sat on the sofa, and held his head in his hands, curbing the inexplicable joy which filled his whole being; and then walked up and down the room for a minute, and returned to his work. But the thoughts which he read in books no longer satisfied him. He longed for something vast, infinite, astonishing. Towards morning he undressed and went unwillingly to bed; he felt that he had better rest. When at last he heard Yegor Semiónovitch going to his work in the garden, he rang, and ordered the servant to bring him some wine. He drank several glasses; his consciousness became dim, and he slept.
He sat on the couch, holding his head in his hands, trying to control the overwhelming joy that filled him; then he paced the room for a minute before returning to his work. But the thoughts he found in books no longer satisfied him. He craved something vast, infinite, and astonishing. By morning, he reluctantly undressed and went to bed, knowing he needed the rest. When he finally heard Yegor Semiónovitch starting his work in the garden, he rang for the servant and ordered some wine. He drank several glasses; his awareness faded, and he fell asleep.
IV
Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya often quarrelled and said disagreeable things to one another. This morning they had both been irritated, and Tánya burst out crying and went to her room, coming down neither to dinner nor to tea At first Yegor Semiónovitch marched about, solemn and dignified, as if wishing to give everyone to understand that for him justice and order were the supreme interests of life. But he was unable to keep this up for long; his spirits fell, and he wandered about the park and sighed, "Akh, my God!" At dinner he ate nothing, and at last, tortured by his conscience, he knocked softly at the closed door, and called timidly:
Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya often argued and said hurtful things to each other. This morning, they were both on edge, and Tánya started crying and went to her room, not coming down for dinner or tea. At first, Yegor Semiónovitch walked around, serious and composed, as if trying to show everyone that justice and order were the most important things in life. But he couldn't maintain that for long; his mood dropped, and he wandered around the park, sighing, "Oh, my God!" At dinner, he didn’t eat anything, and finally, overwhelmed by guilt, he softly knocked on the closed door and called out nervously:
"Tánya! Tánya!"
"Tanya! Tanya!"
Through the door came a Weak voice, tearful but determined:
Through the door came a weak voice, crying but resolute:
"Leave me alone!... I implore you."
"Leave me alone!... I'm begging you."
The misery of father and daughter reacted on the whole household, even on the labourers in the garden. Kovrin, as usual, was immersed in his own interesting work, but at last even he felt tired and uncomfortable. He determined to interfere, and disperse the cloud before evening. He knocked at Tánya's door, and was admitted.
The sadness of the father and daughter affected the entire household, even the workers in the garden. Kovrin, as usual, was focused on his engaging work, but eventually, he too started to feel drained and uneasy. He decided to step in and clear the tension before the evening. He knocked on Tánya's door and was let in.
"Come, come! What a shame!" he began jokingly; and then looked with surprise at her tear-stained and afflicted face covered with red spots. "Is it so serious, then? Well, well!"
"Come on, come on! What a shame!" he started jokingly, then looked in shock at her tear-streaked, distressed face dotted with red spots. "Is it really that serious? Well, well!"
"But if you knew how he tortured me!" she said, and a flood of tears gushed out of her big eyes. "He tormented me!" she continued, wringing her hands. "I never said a word to him.... I only said there was no need to keep unnecessary labourers, if ... if we can get day workmen.... You know the men have done nothing for the whole week. I ... I only said this, and he roared at me, and said a lot of things ... most offensive ... deeply insulting. And all for nothing."
"But if you knew how he tortured me!" she exclaimed, tears streaming down her big eyes. "He tormented me!" she went on, wringing her hands. "I never said a word to him... I just mentioned that there was no need to keep extra workers if... if we could get day laborers... You know the men haven’t done anything all week. I... I only said this, and he yelled at me, saying a bunch of things... most offensive... deeply insulting. And all for nothing."
"Never mind!" said Kovrin, straightening her hair. "You have had your scoldings and your cryings, and that is surely enough. You can't keep up this for ever ... it is not right ... all the more since you know he loves you infinitely."
"Never mind!" said Kovrin, fixing her hair. "You've had your share of scolding and crying, and that's definitely enough. You can't keep doing this forever... it's not right... especially since you know he loves you endlessly."
"He has ruined my whole life," sobbed Tánya. "I never hear anything but insults and affronts. He regards me as superfluous in his own house. Let him! He will have cause! I shall leave here to-morrow, and study for a position as telegraphist.... Let him!"
"He has messed up my entire life," cried Tánya. "All I hear are insults and disrespect. He sees me as unnecessary in his own home. Whatever! He’ll regret it! I’m leaving tomorrow to train for a job as a telegraph operator... Whatever!"
"Come, come. Stop crying, Tánya. It does you no good.... You are both irritable and impulsive, and both in the wrong. Come, and I will make peace!"
"Come on, stop crying, Tánya. It's not helping you.... You're both being touchy and impulsive, and you're both at fault. Come here, and I'll help you make up!"
Kovrin spoke gently and persuasively, but Tánya continued to cry, twitching her shoulders and wringing her hands as if she had been overtaken by a real misfortune. Kovrin felt all the sorrier owing to the smallness of the cause of her sorrow. What a trifle it took to make this little creature unhappy for a whole day, or, as she had expressed it, for a whole life! And as he consoled Tánya, it occurred to him that except this girl and her father there was not one in the world who loved him as a kinsman; and had it not been for them, he, left fatherless and motherless in early childhood, must have lived his whole life without feeling one sincere caress, or tasting ever that simple, unreasoning love which we feel only for those akin to us by blood. And he felt that his tired, strained nerves, like magnets, responded to the nerves of this crying, shuddering girl. He felt, too, that he could never love a healthy, rosy-cheeked woman; but pale, weak, unhappy Tánya appealed to him.
Kovrin spoke softly and persuasively, but Tánya kept crying, shaking her shoulders and wringing her hands as if she had experienced a real tragedy. Kovrin felt even worse knowing how petty her sorrow was. It was surprising how such a small thing could make this young girl unhappy for an entire day, or, as she put it, for a lifetime! As he tried to comfort Tánya, he realized that besides her and her father, no one else in the world loved him as family; and without them, having lost both parents in his early childhood, he would have gone through life without ever feeling a genuine hug or experiencing that simple, instinctive love we only have for those related to us by blood. He sensed that his weary, tense nerves, like magnets, connected with the nerves of this sobbing, trembling girl. He also recognized that he could never love a healthy, rosy-cheeked woman; instead, pale, frail, unhappy Tánya drew him in.
He felt pleasure in looking at her hair and her shoulders; and he pressed her hand, and wiped away her tears.... At last she ceased crying. But she still continued to complain of her father, and of her insufferable life at home, imploring Kovrin to try to realise her position. Then by degrees she began to smile, and to sigh that God had cursed her with such a wicked temper; and in the end laughed aloud, called herself a fool, and ran out of the room. A little later Kovrin went into the garden. Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya, as if nothing had happened, We were walking side by side up the alley, eating rye-bread and salt, we both were very hungry.
He enjoyed looking at her hair and shoulders; he held her hand and wiped away her tears... Finally, she stopped crying. But she kept complaining about her father and her unbearable life at home, begging Kovrin to understand her situation. Gradually, she began to smile and lamented that God had cursed her with such a terrible temper; in the end, she laughed loudly, called herself a fool, and dashed out of the room. A little later, Kovrin went into the garden. Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya, as if nothing had happened, were walking side by side up the path, eating rye bread and salt, both very hungry.
V
Pleased with his success as peacemaker, Kovrin went into the park. As he sat on a bench and mused, he heal'd the rattle of a carnage and a woman's laugh—visitors evidently again. Shadows fell in the garden, the sound of a violin, the music of a woman's voice reached him almost inaudibly; and this reminded him of the Black Monk. Whither, to what country, to what planet, had that optical absurdity flown? Hardly had he called to mind the legend and painted in imagination the black apparition in the rye-field when from behind the pine trees opposite to him, walked inaudibly—without the faintest rustling—a man of middle height. His grey head was uncovered, he was dressed in black, and barefooted like a beggar. On his pallid, corpse-like face stood out sharply a number of black spots. Nodding his head politely the stranger or beggar walked noiselessly to the bench and sat down, and Kovrin recognised the Black Monk. For a minute they looked at one another, Kovrin with astonishment, but the monk kindly and, as before, with a sly expression on his face.
Pleased with his success as a peacemaker, Kovrin went to the park. As he sat on a bench, deep in thought, he heard the sounds of a carriage and a woman's laughter—another set of visitors, clearly. Shadows fell across the garden, the sound of a violin, and the soft music of a woman's voice reached him almost silently; this made him think of the Black Monk. Where had that strange figure gone? Just as he recalled the legend and imagined the black figure standing in the rye field, a man of average height appeared silently from behind the pine trees in front of him. His gray hair was uncovered, he wore black clothes, and he was barefoot like a beggar. On his pale, corpse-like face stood out several dark spots. Nodding politely, the stranger or beggar walked quietly to the bench and sat down, and Kovrin recognized the Black Monk. For a moment, they stared at each other, Kovrin with surprise, but the monk looked back kindly, a sly expression on his face.
"But you are a mirage," said Kovrin. "Why are you here, and why do you sit in one place? That is not in accordance with the legend."
"But you’re just a mirage," Kovrin said. "Why are you here, and why are you sitting in one place? That doesn’t match the legend."
"It is all the same," replied the monk softly, turning his face towards Kovrin. "The legend, the mirage, I—all are products of your own excited imagination. I am a phantom."
"It doesn't matter," the monk replied quietly, turning his face toward Kovrin. "The legend, the illusion, I—all are creations of your own heightened imagination. I'm just a ghost."
"That is to say you don't exist?" asked Kovrin. "Think as you like," replied the monk, smiling faintly. "I exist in your imagination, and as your imagination is a part of Nature, I must exist also in Nature."
"Are you saying you don't exist?" Kovrin asked. "Think what you want," the monk replied with a faint smile. "I exist in your imagination, and since your imagination is part of Nature, I must exist in Nature too."
"You have a clever, a distinguished face—it seems to me as if in reality you had lived more than a thousand years," said Kovrin. "I did not know that my imagination was capable of creating such a phenomenon. Why do you look at me with such rapture? Are you pleased with me?"
"You have a smart, distinguished face—it's as if you’ve actually lived for over a thousand years," said Kovrin. "I didn’t know my imagination could come up with something like this. Why are you looking at me with such awe? Do you like me?"
"Yes. For you are one of the few who can justly be named the elected of God. You serve eternal truth. Your thoughts, your intentions, your astonishing science, all your life bear the stamp of divinity, a heavenly impress; they are dedicated to the rational and the beautiful, and that is, to the Eternal."
"Yes. Because you're one of the few who can rightfully be called the chosen one of God. You embody eternal truth. Your thoughts, your intentions, your incredible knowledge, all your life carry the mark of divinity, a heavenly touch; they are devoted to reason and beauty, which means, to the Eternal."
"You say, to eternal truth. Then can eternal truth be accessible and necessary to men if there is no eternal life?"
"You say it's an eternal truth. So, can eternal truth be reached and needed by people if there's no eternal life?"
"There is eternal life," said the monk.
"There is eternal life," said the monk.
"You believe in the immortality of men."
"You believe in the immortality of humans."
"Of course. For you, men, there awaits a great and a beautiful future. And the more the world has of men like you the nearer will this future be brought. Without you, ministers to the highest principles, living freely and consciously, humanity would be nothing; developing in the natural order it must wait the end of its earthly history. But you, by some thousands of years, hasten it into the kingdom of eternal truth—and in this is your high service. You embody in yourself the blessing of God which rested upon the people."
"Of course. For you men, a great and beautiful future awaits. The more the world has men like you, the closer that future will be. Without you, who serve the highest principles and live freely and consciously, humanity would be nothing; it would just go through the motions until the end of its earthly existence. But you, by thousands of years, speed it into the realm of eternal truth—and that’s your important role. You represent the blessing of God that is upon the people."
"And what is the object of eternal life?" asked Kovrin.
"And what is the purpose of eternal life?" asked Kovrin.
"The same as all life—enjoyment. True enjoyment is in knowledge, and eternal life presents innumerable, inexhaustible fountains of knowledge; it is in this sense it was said: 'In My Father's house are many mansions....'"
"The same as all life—enjoyment. True enjoyment is in knowledge, and eternal life offers countless, never-ending sources of knowledge; in this sense, it was said: 'In My Father's house are many mansions....'"
"You cannot conceive what a joy it is to me to listen to you," said Kovrin, rubbing his hands with delight.
"You can’t imagine how happy it makes me to hear you," said Kovrin, rubbing his hands with delight.
"I am glad."
"I'm happy."
"Yet I know that when you leave me I shall be tormented by doubt as to your reality. You are a phantom, a hallucination. But that means that I am psychically diseased, that I am not in a normal state?" "What if you are? That need not worry you. You are ill because you have overstrained your powers, because you have borne your health in sacrifice to one idea, and the time is near when you will sacrifice not merely it but your life also. What more could you desire? It is what all gifted and noble natures aspire to."
"Yet I know that when you leave me, I'll be consumed by doubt about whether you're real. You feel like a ghost, a figment of my imagination. But does that mean I'm mentally sick, that I'm not in a normal state?" "What if you are? That shouldn't concern you. You're unwell because you've pushed yourself too hard, because you've given up your well-being for one idea, and the time is coming when you'll sacrifice not just that but also your life. What more could you want? It's what all talented and noble people strive for."
"But if I am psychically diseased, how can I trust myself?"
"But if I'm mentally unwell, how can I trust myself?"
"And how do you know that the men of genius whom all the world trusts have not also seen visions? Genius, they tell you now, is akin to insanity. Believe me, the healthy and the normal are but ordinary men—the herd. Fears as to a nervous age, over-exhaustion and degeneration can trouble seriously only those whose aims in life lie in the present—that is the herd."
"And how do you know that the geniuses trusted by everyone haven’t also seen visions? They say that genius is similar to insanity. Trust me, the healthy and the normal are just ordinary people—the masses. Concerns about a nervous age, burnout, and decline can only seriously affect those whose goals in life are limited to the present—that is, the masses."
"The Romans had as their ideal: mens sana in corpore sano."
"The Romans had their ideal: mens sana in corpore sano."
"All that the Greeks and Romans said is not true. Exaltations, aspirations, excitements, ecstacies—all those things which distinguish poets, prophets, martyrs to ideas from ordinary men are incompatible with the animal life, that is, with physical health. I repeat, if you wish to be healthy and normal go with the herd."
"Everything the Greeks and Romans said isn't true. The highs, aspirations, thrills, and ecstasies—everything that sets poets, prophets, and martyrs to ideas apart from regular people doesn't fit with animal life, meaning physical health. I'll say it again, if you want to be healthy and normal, stick with the crowd."
"How strange that you should repeat what I myself have so often thought!" said Kovrin. "It seems as if you had watched me and listened to my secret thoughts. But do not talk about me. What do you imply by the words: eternal truth?"
"How weird that you would say exactly what I've thought so many times!" said Kovrin. "It feels like you've been watching me and hearing my innermost thoughts. But let's not focus on me. What do you mean by 'eternal truth'?"
The monk made no answer. Kovrin looked at him, but could not make out his face. His features clouded and melted away; his head and arms disappeared; his body faded into the bench and into the twilight, and vanished utterly.
The monk didn’t respond. Kovrin stared at him, but couldn’t distinguish his face. His features became hazy and faded; his head and arms disappeared; his body blended into the bench and into the dim light, and completely vanished.
"The hallucination has gone," said Kovrin, laughing. "It is a pity."
"The hallucination is gone," Kovrin said with a laugh. "That's too bad."
He returned to the house lively and happy. What the Black Monk had said to him flattered, not his self-love, but his soul, his whole being. To be the elected, to minister to eternal truth, to stand in the ranks of those who hasten by thousands of years the making mankind worthy of the kingdom of Christ, to deliver humanity from thousands of years of struggle, sin, and suffering, to give to one idea everything, youth, strength, health, to die for the general welfare—what an exalted, what a glorious ideal! And when through his memory flowed his past life, a life pure and chaste and full of labour, when he remembered what he had learnt and what he had taught, he concluded that in the words of the monk there was no exaggeration. Through the park, to meet him, came Tánya. She was wearing a different dress from that in which he had last seen her.
He returned to the house feeling lively and happy. What the Black Monk said to him flattered not just his self-esteem, but his soul, his entire being. To be the chosen one, to serve eternal truth, to be among those who speed up by thousands of years the elevation of humanity to be worthy of Christ's kingdom, to free people from eons of struggle, sin, and suffering, to dedicate everything—youth, strength, health—to the greater good, to die for the common good—what an inspiring, what a glorious ideal! And as he remembered his past life, a life pure, chaste, and full of hard work, when he reflected on what he had learned and taught, he realized there was no exaggeration in the monk’s words. Tánya came to meet him through the park. She was wearing a different dress from the last one he had seen her in.
"You here?" she cried. "We were looking for you, looking.... But what has happened?" she asked in surprise, looking into his glowing, enraptured face, and into his eyes, now full of tears. "How strange you are, Andrusha!"
"You here?" she exclaimed. "We were searching for you, searching... But what happened?" she asked in surprise, gazing into his bright, captivated face, and into his eyes, now filled with tears. "How odd you are, Andrusha!"
"I am satisfied, Tánya," said Kovrin, laying his hand upon her shoulder. "I am more than satisfied; I am happy! Tánya, dear Tánya, you are inexpressibly dear to me. Tánya, I am so glad!"
"I’m satisfied, Tánya," said Kovrin, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I’m more than satisfied; I’m happy! Tánya, dear Tánya, you mean the world to me. Tánya, I’m so glad!"
He kissed both her hands warmly, and continued: "I have just lived through the brightest, most wonderful, most unearthly moments.... But I cannot tell you all, for you would call me mad, or refuse to believe me.... Let me speak of you! Tánya, I love you, and have long loved you. To have you near me, to meet you ten times a day, has become a necessity for me. I do not know how I shall live without you when I go home."
He kissed both her hands warmly and continued, "I've just experienced the brightest, most amazing, most surreal moments... But I can't tell you everything, because you’d think I’m crazy or wouldn’t believe me... Let me talk about you! Tánya, I love you, and I've loved you for a long time. Having you close to me, seeing you ten times a day, has become essential for me. I don’t know how I'll be able to live without you when I go home."
"No!" laughed Tánya. "You will forget us all in two days. We are little people, and you are a great man."
"No!" laughed Tánya. "You'll forget all about us in two days. We're just little people, and you're a big deal."
"Let us talk seriously," said he. "I will take you with me, Tánya! Yes? You will come? You will be mine?"
"Let's have a serious conversation," he said. "I want you to come with me, Tánya! Is that a yes? You will come? You will be mine?"
Tánya cried "What?" and tried to laugh again. But the laugh did not come, and, instead, red spots stood out on her cheeks. She breathed quickly, and walked on rapidly into the park.
Tánya exclaimed, "What?" and tried to laugh again. But the laugh didn’t come, and instead, red spots appeared on her cheeks. She breathed quickly and walked briskly into the park.
"I did not think ... I never thought of this ... never thought," she said, pressing her hands together as if in despair.
"I didn't think ... I never thought about this ... never thought," she said, pressing her hands together as if in despair.
But Kovrin hastened after her, and, with the same glowing, enraptured face, continued to speak.
But Kovrin hurried after her, and, with the same bright, captivated expression, kept talking.
"I wish for a love which will take possession of me altogether, and this love only you, Tánya, can give me. I am happy! How happy!"
"I want a love that will completely take over my life, and you, Tánya, are the only one who can give me that. I'm so happy! I'm so happy!"
She was overcome, bent, withered up, and seemed suddenly to have aged ten years. But Kovrin found her beautiful, and loudly expressed his ecstacy: "How lovely she is!"
She was overwhelmed, hunched over, drained, and suddenly looked like she had aged ten years. But Kovrin found her beautiful and exclaimed excitedly, "How lovely she is!"
VI
When he learned from Kovrin that not only had a romance resulted, but that a wedding was to follow, Yegor Semiónovitch walked from corner to corner, and tried to conceal his agitation. His hands shook, his neck seemed swollen and purple; he ordered the horses to be put into his racing droschky, and drove away. Tánya, seeing how he whipped the horses and how he pushed his cap down over his ears, understood his mood, locked herself into her room, and cried all day.
When he found out from Kovrin that there not only had been a romance, but that a wedding was coming up, Yegor Semiónovitch paced back and forth, trying to hide his anxiety. His hands trembled, his neck looked swollen and purplish; he told them to harness the horses to his racing cab and drove off. Tánya, noticing how fiercely he whipped the horses and pulled his cap down over his ears, understood how he felt, locked herself in her room, and cried all day.
In the orangery the peaches and plums were already ripe. The packing and despatch to Moscow of such a delicate load required much attention, trouble, and bustle. Owing to the heat of the summer every tree had to be watered; the process was costly in time and working-power; and many caterpillars appeared, which the workmen, and even Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya, crushed with their fingers, to the great disgust of Kovrin. The autumn orders for fruit and trees had to be attended to, and a vast correspondence carried on. And at the very busiest time, when it seemed no one had a free moment, work began in the fields and deprived the garden of half its workers. Yegor Semiónovitch, very sunburnt, very irritated, and very worried, galloped about, now to the garden, now to the fields; and all the time shouted that they were tearing him to bits, and that he would put a bullet through his brain.
In the greenhouse, the peaches and plums were already ripe. Packing and shipping such a delicate load to Moscow required a lot of attention, effort, and activity. Because of the summer heat, every tree needed to be watered; this took a lot of time and manpower, and many caterpillars showed up, which the workers, including Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya, crushed with their fingers, much to Kovrin's annoyance. They had to manage autumn orders for fruit and trees, and there was a huge amount of correspondence to handle. At the busiest moments, when it felt like no one had a spare second, work started in the fields, taking away half the workers from the garden. Yegor Semiónovitch, extremely sunburned, very annoyed, and really stressed, rushed back and forth between the garden and the fields, constantly shouting that they were driving him crazy and that he wanted to shoot himself.
On top of all came the bustle over Tánya's trousseau, to which the Pesótskys attributed infinite significance. With the eternal snipping of scissors, rattle of sewing-machines, smell of flat-irons, and the caprices of the nervous and touchy dressmaker, the whole house seemed to spin round. And, to make matters worse, visitors arrived every day, and these visitors had to be amused, fed, and lodged for the night. Yet work and worry passed unnoticed in a mist of joy. Tánya felt as if love and happiness had suddenly burst upon her, although ever since her fourteenth year she had been certain that Kovrin would marry nobody but herself. She was eternally in a state of astonishment, doubt, and disbelief in herself. At one moment she was seized by such great joy that she felt she must fly away to the clouds and pray to God; but a moment later she remembered that when August came she would have to leave the home of her childhood and forsake her father; and she was frightened by the thought—God knows whence it came—that she was trivial, insignificant, and unworthy of a great man like Kovrin. When such thoughts came she would run up to her room, lock herself in, and cry bitterly for hours. But when visitors were present, it broke in upon her that Kovrin was a singularly handsome man, that all the women loved him and envied her; and in these moments her heart was as full of rapture and pride as if she had conquered the whole world. When he dared to smile on any other woman she trembled with jealousy, went to her room, and again—tears. These new feelings possessed her altogether; she helped her father mechanically, noticing neither pears nor caterpillars, nor workmen, nor how swiftly time was passing by.
On top of everything was the excitement over Tánya's wedding preparations, which the Pesótskys regarded as incredibly important. With the constant snipping of scissors, the clattering of sewing machines, the smell of flatirons, and the whims of the anxious and prickly dressmaker, the whole house felt like it was spinning. To make things even more chaotic, visitors came every day, and they needed to be entertained, fed, and given a place to stay for the night. Still, the work and stress faded away in a haze of happiness. Tánya felt like love and joy had suddenly rushed into her life, even though since she was fourteen, she had been sure that Kovrin would only marry her. She was constantly in a state of amazement, doubt, and disbelief in herself. At one moment, an overwhelming joy would seize her, making her feel like she could fly to the clouds and pray to God; but a moment later, she would remember that in August she would have to leave her childhood home and her father, and she was struck with fear—God knows where it came from—that she was ordinary, unimportant, and unworthy of a great man like Kovrin. Whenever such thoughts hit her, she would rush to her room, lock the door, and cry for hours. But when visitors were around, it would strike her that Kovrin was an incredibly handsome man, that all the women loved him and envied her; and in those moments, her heart swelled with joy and pride, as if she had conquered the entire world. When he dared to smile at any other woman, she would feel a wave of jealousy, retreat to her room, and once again—tears. These new feelings consumed her; she helped her father mechanically, not noticing the pears or caterpillars, nor the workers, nor how quickly time was passing by.
Yegor Semiónovitch was in much the same state of mind. He still worked from morning to night, Hew about the gardens, and lost his temper; but all the while he was wrapped in a magic reverie. In his sturdy body contended two men, one the real Yegor Semiónovitch, who, when he listened to the gardener, Ivan Karlovitch's report of some mistake or disorder, went mad with excitement, and tore his hair; and the other the unreal Yegor Semiónovitch—a half-intoxicated old man, who broke off an important conversation in the middle of a word, seized the gardener by the shoulder, and stammered:
Yegor Semiónovitch was feeling pretty much the same way. He still worked from morning to night, fussing about the gardens and losing his temper; but all the while, he was lost in a daze. Inside his strong body were two people: the real Yegor Semiónovitch, who, upon hearing the gardener Ivan Karlovitch's report of some mistake or mess, would get so worked up that he’d tear his hair out; and the imaginary Yegor Semiónovitch—a half-drunk old man, who would interrupt an important conversation mid-sentence, grab the gardener by the shoulder, and mumble:
"You may say what you like, but blood is thicker than water. His mother was an astonishing, a most noble, a most brilliant woman. It was a pleasure to see her good, pure, open, angel face. She painted beautifully, wrote poetry, spoke five foreign languages, and sang.... Poor thing, Heaven rest her soul, she died of consumption!"
"You can say whatever you want, but family matters most. His mother was an amazing, incredibly noble, and exceptionally talented woman. It was a joy to see her kind, innocent, open, angelic face. She was a beautiful painter, wrote poetry, spoke five foreign languages, and sang…. Poor thing, may she rest in peace, she died from tuberculosis!"
The unreal Yegor Semiónovitch sighed, and after a moment's silence continued:
The imaginary Yegor Semiónovitch sighed, and after a brief pause, continued:
"When he was a boy growing up to manhood in my house he had just such an angel face, open and good. His looks, his movements, his words were as gentle and graceful as his mother's. And his intellect It is not for nothing he has the degree of Magister. But you just wait, Ivan Karlovitch; you'll see what he'll be in ten years' time. Why, he'll be out of sight!" But here the real Yegor Semiónovitch remembered himself, seized his head and roared:
"When he was a boy growing up to be a man in my house, he had such an angelic face, open and kind. His looks, his movements, his words were as gentle and graceful as his mother's. And his smarts? It's no surprise he has a Master’s degree. But just wait, Ivan Karlovitch; you'll see what he’ll be like in ten years. He’ll be amazing!" But then the real Yegor Semiónovitch caught himself, grabbed his head, and roared:
"Devils! Frost-bitten! Ruined, destroyed! The garden is ruined; the garden is destroyed!" Kovrin worked with all his former ardour, and hardly noticed the bustle about him. Love only poured oil on the flames. After every meeting with Tánya, he returned to his rooms in rapture and happiness, and set to work with his books and manuscripts with the same passion with which he had kissed her and sworn his love. What the Black Monk had told him of his election by God, of eternal truth, and of the glorious future of humanity, gave to all his work a peculiar, unusual significance. Once or twice every week, either in the park or in the house, he met the monk, and talked with him for hours; but this did not frighten, but on the contrary delighted him, for he was now assured that such apparitions visit only the elect and exceptional who dedicate themselves to the ministry of ideas.
"Devils! Frost-bitten! Ruined, destroyed! The garden is ruined; the garden is destroyed!" Kovrin worked with all his previous enthusiasm, barely noticing the activity around him. Love only fueled the fire. After every meeting with Tánya, he went back to his rooms filled with joy and happiness, and dove into his books and manuscripts with the same passion he had when he kissed her and declared his love. What the Black Monk had told him about his selection by God, about eternal truth, and about humanity's glorious future gave all his work a strange, unique importance. Once or twice a week, either in the park or at home, he encountered the monk and spoke with him for hours; but this didn’t scare him, it actually thrilled him, because he was now convinced that such visions only appear to the chosen and exceptional who dedicate themselves to the pursuit of ideas.
Assumption passed unobserved. Then came the wedding, celebrated by the determined wish of Yegor Semiónovitch with what was called éclat, that is, with meaningless festivities which lasted for two days. Three thousand roubles were consumed in food and drink; but what with the vile music, the noisy toasts, the fussing servants, the clamour, and the closeness of the atmosphere, no one appreciated the expensive wines or the astonishing hors d'oeuvres specially ordered from Moscow.
Assumption went by unnoticed. Then the wedding took place, driven by Yegor Semiónovitch's strong desire, and it was marked by what they called éclat, which really meant pointless celebrations that dragged on for two days. They spent three thousand roubles on food and drink; however, with the awful music, loud toasts, bustling waitstaff, chaos, and the stuffy atmosphere, nobody enjoyed the expensive wines or the amazing hors d'oeuvres that were specially ordered from Moscow.
VII
One of the long winter nights. Kovrin lay in bed, reading a French novel. Poor Tánya, whose head every evening ached as the result of the unaccustomed life in town, had long been sleeping, muttering incoherent phrases in her dreams.
One of the long winter nights. Kovrin lay in bed, reading a French novel. Poor Tánya, whose head ached every evening from the strange life in the city, had already fallen asleep, mumbling nonsensical phrases in her dreams.
The dock struck three. Kovrin put out the candle and lay down, lay for a long time with dosed eyes unable to sleep owing to the heat of the room and Tánya's continued muttering. At half-past four he again lighted the candle. The Black Monk was sitting in a chair beside his bed.
The clock chimed three. Kovrin blew out the candle and lay down, staying there for a long time with his eyes shut, unable to sleep because of the heat in the room and Tánya's ongoing muttering. At half-past four, he lit the candle again. The Black Monk was sitting in a chair beside his bed.
"Good night!" said the monk, and then, after a moment's silence, asked, "What are you thinking of now?"
"Good night!" said the monk, and then, after a moment of silence, asked, "What are you thinking about right now?"
"Of glory," answered Kovrin. "In a French novel which I have just been reading, the hero is a young man who does foolish things, and dies from a passion for glory. To me this passion is inconceivable."
"Of glory," answered Kovrin. "In a French novel I just read, the hero is a young guy who does stupid things and dies because of his obsession with glory. To me, this obsession is hard to understand."
"Because you are too clever. You look indifferently on fame as a toy which cannot interest you."
"Because you are too smart. You see fame as a toy that doesn't catch your interest."
"That is true."
"That's true."
"Celebrity has no attractions for you. What flattery, joy, or instruction can a man draw from the knowledge that his name will be graven on a monument, when time will efface the inscription sooner or later? Yes, happily there are too many of you for brief human memory to remember all your names."
"Fame has no appeal for you. What flattery, joy, or learning can someone gain from knowing that their name will be carved on a monument, when time will eventually wear away the inscription? Yes, luckily there are too many of you for short human memory to remember all your names."
"Of course," said Kovrin. "And why remember them?... But let us talk of something else. Of happiness, for instance. What is this happiness?"
"Of course," said Kovrin. "And why bother remembering them?... But let's discuss something else. Like happiness, for example. What is happiness?"
When the clock struck five he was sitting on the bed with his feet trailing on the carpet and his head turned to the monk, and saying:
When the clock hit five, he was sitting on the bed with his feet dragging on the carpet, looking at the monk and saying:
"In ancient times a man became frightened at his happiness, so great it was, and to placate the gods laid before them in sacrifice his beloved ring. You have heard? Now I, like Polycrates, am a little frightened at my own happiness. From morning to night I experience only joy—joy absorbs me and stifles all other feelings. I do not know the meaning of grief affliction, or weariness. I speak seriously, I am beginning to doubt."
"In ancient times, a man became afraid of his own happiness because it was so intense, and to appease the gods, he sacrificed his beloved ring. Have you heard this story? Well, just like Polycrates, I'm starting to feel a little uneasy about my happiness. From morning to night, all I feel is joy—it's overwhelming and pushes all other emotions aside. I don't understand grief, suffering, or fatigue. I'm serious—I'm beginning to have my doubts."
"Why?" asked the monk in an astonished tone. "Then you think joy is a supernatural feeling? You think it is not the normal condition of things? No! The higher a man has climbed in mental and moral development the freer he is, the greater satisfaction he draws from life. Socrates, Diogenes, Marcus Aurelius knew joy and not sorrow. And the apostle said, 'rejoice exceedingly.' Rejoice and be happy!"
"Why?" asked the monk, surprised. "So you believe joy is some kind of supernatural feeling? You think it isn't the natural state of things? No! The more someone has progressed in their mental and moral growth, the freer they are, and the more satisfaction they get from life. Socrates, Diogenes, and Marcus Aurelius experienced joy, not sorrow. And the apostle said, 'rejoice exceedingly.' Be joyful and happy!"
"And suddenly the gods will be angered," said Kovrin jokingly. "But it would hardly be to my taste if they were to steal my happiness and force me to shiver and starve."
"And suddenly the gods will be upset," Kovrin said jokingly. "But it wouldn't really suit me if they were to take away my happiness and make me shiver and starve."
Tánya awoke, and looked at her husband with amazement and terror. He spoke, he turned to the chair, he gesticulated, and laughed; his eyes glittered and his laughter sounded strange.
Tánya woke up and looked at her husband in shock and fear. He was speaking, turning toward the chair, gesturing, and laughing; his eyes sparkled, and his laughter sounded odd.
"Andrusha, whom are you speaking to?" she asked, seizing the hand which he had stretched out to the monk. "Andrusha, who is it?"
"Andrusha, who are you talking to?" she asked, grabbing the hand he had reached out to the monk. "Andrusha, who is it?"
"Who?" answered Kovrin. "Why, the monk!... He is sitting there." He pointed to the Black Monk.
"Who?" Kovrin replied. "Well, the monk!... He's sitting right over there." He pointed to the Black Monk.
"There is no one there, ... no one, Andrusha; you are ill."
"There’s no one there, ... no one, Andrusha; you’re sick."
Tánya embraced her husband, and, pressing against him as if to defend him against the apparition, covered his eyes with her hand.
Tánya hugged her husband and, pressing against him as if to protect him from the ghost, covered his eyes with her hand.
"You are ill," she sobbed, trembling all over. "Forgive me, darling, but for a long time I have fancied you were unnerved in some way.... You are ill, ... psychically, Andrusha."
"You’re sick," she cried, shaking all over. "Forgive me, love, but I’ve thought for a while that you seemed off in some way.... You’re sick, ... mentally, Andrusha."
The shudder communicated itself to him. He looked once more at the chair, now empty, and suddenly felt weakness in his arms and legs. He began to dress. "It is nothing, Tánya, nothing, ..." he stammered, and still shuddered. "But I am a little unwell.... It is time to recognise it."
The shiver ran through him. He glanced at the chair again, now empty, and suddenly felt weak in his arms and legs. He started to get dressed. "It's nothing, Tánya, nothing..." he stammered, still shaking. "But I am feeling a bit unwell... It's time to admit it."
"I have noticed it for a long time, and father noticed it," she said, trying to restrain her sobs. "You have been speaking so funnily to yourself, and smiling so strangely, ... and you do not sleep. O, my God, my God, save us!" she cried in terror. "But do not be afraid, Andrusha, do not fear, ... for God's sake do not be afraid...."
"I've noticed it for a long time, and Dad has too," she said, trying to hold back her tears. "You've been talking to yourself in such a weird way, and smiling so oddly... and you aren’t sleeping. Oh my God, my God, please save us!" she yelled in fear. "But don’t be scared, Andrusha, don’t be afraid... for God’s sake, don’t be afraid...."
She also dressed.... It was only as he looked at her that Kovrin understood the danger of his position, and realised the meaning of the Black Monk and of their conversations. It became plain to him that he was mad.
She also dressed.... It was only when he looked at her that Kovrin understood the danger of his situation and realized the significance of the Black Monk and their discussions. It became clear to him that he was losing his mind.
Both, themselves not knowing why, dressed and went into the hall; she first, he after her. There they found Yegor Semiónovitch in his dressing-gown. He was staying with them, and had been awakened by Tánya's sobs.
Both of them, not knowing why, got dressed and went into the hallway; she went first, and he followed. There they found Yegor Semiónovitch in his dressing gown. He was staying with them and had been woken up by Tánya's sobs.
"Do not be afraid, Andrusha," said Tánya, trembling as if in fever. "Do not be afraid ... father, this will pass off ... it will pass off."
"Don't be scared, Andrusha," Tánya said, shaking like she had a fever. "Don't be scared ... Dad, this will pass ... it will pass."
Kovrin was so agitated that he could hardly speak. But he tried to treat the matter as a joke. He turned to his father-in-law and attempted to say: "Congratulate me ... it seems I have gone out of my mind." But his lips only moved, and he smiled bitterly.
Kovrin was so worked up that he could barely talk. But he tried to make light of the situation. He turned to his father-in-law and tried to say, "Congratulate me... looks like I've lost my mind." But his lips just moved, and he smiled sadly.
At nine o'clock they put on his overcoat and a fur cloak, wrapped him up in a shawl, and drove him to the doctor's. He began a course of treatment.
At nine o'clock, they put on his overcoat and a fur coat, wrapped him up in a shawl, and drove him to the doctor's. He started a treatment plan.
VIII
Again summer. By the doctor's orders Kovrin returned to the country. He had recovered his health, and no longer saw the Black Monk. It only remained for him to recruit his physical strength. He lived with his father-in-law, drank much milk, worked only two hours a day, never touched wine, and gave up smoking.
Again summer. By the doctor's orders, Kovrin went back to the countryside. He had regained his health and no longer saw the Black Monk. It only remained for him to build up his physical strength. He lived with his father-in-law, drank a lot of milk, worked just two hours a day, never touched wine, and quit smoking.
On the evening of the 19th June, before Elijah's day, a vesper service was held in the house. When the priest took the censor from the sexton, and the vast hall began to smell like a church, Kovrin felt tired. He went into the garden. Taking no notice of the gorgeous blossoms around him he walked up and down, sat for a while on a bench, and then walked through the park. He descended the sloping bank to the margin of the river, and stood still, looking questioningly at the water. The great pines, with their shaggy roots, which a year before had seen him so young, so joyous, so active, no longer whispered, but stood silent and motionless, as if not recognising him.... And, indeed, with his short-dipped hair, his feeble walk, and his changed face, so heavy and pale and changed since last year, he would hardly have been recognised anywhere.
On the evening of June 19th, just before Elijah's day, a vesper service took place in the house. When the priest took the censer from the sexton, and the large hall started to smell like a church, Kovrin felt exhausted. He stepped into the garden. Ignoring the beautiful flowers around him, he walked back and forth, sat for a while on a bench, and then strolled through the park. He walked down the sloping bank to the edge of the river and paused, gazing questioningly at the water. The tall pines, with their tangled roots, which had seen him so young, joyful, and energetic just a year ago, no longer whispered but stood silent and still, as if they didn’t recognize him... And, indeed, with his short hair, tentative walk, and his changed face—so heavy, pale, and different from last year—he would hardly be recognized anywhere.
He crossed the stream. In the field, last year covered with rye, lay rows of reaped oats. The sun had set, and on the horizon flamed a broad, red afterglow, fore-telling stormy weather. All was quiet; and, gazing towards the point at which a year before he had first seen the Black Monk, Kovrin stood twenty minutes watching the crimson fade. When he returned to the house, tired and unsatisfied, Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya were sitting on the steps of the terrace, drinking tea. They were talking together, and, seeing Kovrin, stopped. But Kovrin knew by their faces that they had been speaking of him.
He crossed the stream. In the field that had been covered with rye last year, there were rows of harvested oats. The sun had set, and a wide, red afterglow lit up the horizon, signaling stormy weather ahead. Everything was quiet, and as he looked toward the spot where he had first seen the Black Monk a year ago, Kovrin stood for twenty minutes watching the red fade. When he returned to the house, feeling tired and unfulfilled, Yegor Semiónovitch and Tánya were sitting on the terrace steps, drinking tea. They were chatting, and when they saw Kovrin, they stopped. But Kovrin could tell from their expressions that they had been talking about him.
"It is time for you to have your milk," said Tánya to her husband.
"It’s time for you to have your milk," Tánya said to her husband.
"No, not yet," he answered, sitting down on the lowest step. "You drink it. I do not want it." Tánya timidly exchanged glances with her father, and said in a guilty voice:
"No, not yet," he replied, sitting down on the lowest step. "You drink it. I don’t want it." Tánya nervously glanced at her father and said in a guilty tone:
"You know very well that the milk does you good."
"You know very well that milk is good for you."
"Yes, any amount of good," laughed Kovrin. "I congratulate you, I have gained a pound in weight since last Friday." He pressed his hands to his head and said in a pained voice: "Why ... why have you cured me? Bromide mixtures, idleness, warm baths, watching in trivial terror over every mouthful, every step ... all this in the end will drive me to idiocy. I had gone out of my mind ... I had the mania of greatness. ... But for all that I was bright, active, and even happy.... I was interesting and original. Now I have become rational and solid, just like the rest of the world. I am a mediocrity, and it is tiresome for me to live.... Oh, how cruelly... how cruelly you have treated me! I had hallucinations ... but what harm did that cause to anyone? I ask you what harm?"
"Yeah, any amount of good," laughed Kovrin. "Congrats, I’ve gained a pound since last Friday." He pressed his hands to his head and said in a pained voice: "Why... why did you cure me? Bromide mixtures, doing nothing, warm baths, constantly worrying about every bite, every step... all of this is just going to drive me crazy. I was losing my mind... I had delusions of grandeur. But despite that, I was bright, active, and even happy... I was interesting and original. Now I’ve become rational and grounded, just like everyone else. I’m just average, and it’s so boring to live like this... Oh, how cruel... how cruel you’ve been to me! I had hallucinations... but what harm did that do to anyone? I ask you, what harm?"
"God only knows what you mean!" sighed Yegor Semiónovitch. "It is stupid even to listen to you."
"God only knows what you mean!" Yegor Semiónovitch sighed. "It's pointless even to listen to you."
"Then you need not listen."
"Then you don't have to listen."
The presence of others, especially of Yegor Semiónovitch, now irritated Kovrin; he answered his father-in-law drily, coldly, even rudely, and could not look on him without contempt and hatred. And Yegor Semiónovitch felt confused, and coughed guiltily, although he could not see how he was in the wrong. Unable to understand the cause of such a sudden reversal of their former hearty relations, Tánya leaned against her father, and looked with alarm into his eyes. It was becoming plain to her that their relations every day grew worse and worse, that her father had aged greatly, and that her husband had become irritable, capricious, excitable, and uninteresting. She no longer laughed and sang, she ate nothing, and whole nights never slept, but lived under the weight of some impending terror, torturing herself so much that she lay insensible from dinner-time till evening. When the service was being held, it had seemed to her that her father was crying; and now as she sat on the terrace she made an effort not to think of it.
The presence of others, especially Yegor Semiónovitch, now annoyed Kovrin; he responded to his father-in-law in a dry, cold, and even rude manner, unable to look at him without feeling contempt and hatred. Yegor Semiónovitch felt confused and coughed awkwardly, even though he couldn't see what he was doing wrong. Not understanding the reason for this sudden shift in their previously warm relationship, Tánya leaned against her father and looked anxiously into his eyes. It was becoming clear to her that their relationship was deteriorating every day, that her father had aged significantly, and that her husband had become irritable, unpredictable, excitable, and uninteresting. She no longer laughed or sang, she ate nothing, and spent entire nights awake, weighed down by some looming dread, torturing herself to the point that she lay numb from dinner until evening. During the service, it had seemed to her that her father was crying; now, as she sat on the terrace, she tried to avoid thinking about it.
"How happy were Buddha and Mahomet and Shakespeare that their kind-hearted kinsmen and doctors did not cure them of ecstacy and inspiration!" said Kovrin. "If Mahomet had taken potassium bromide for his nerves, worked only two hours a day, and drunk milk, that astonishing man would have left as little behind him as his dog. Doctors and kind-hearted relatives only do their best to make humanity stupid, and the time will come when mediocrity will be considered genius, and humanity will perish. If you only had some idea," concluded Kovrin peevishly, "if you only had some idea how grateful I am!" He felt strong irritation, and to prevent himself saying too much, rose and went into the house. It was a windless night, and into the window was borne the smell of tobacco plants and jalap. Through the windows of the great dark hall, on the floor and on the piano, fell the moonrays. Kovrin recalled the raptures of the summer before, when the air, as now, was full of the smell of jalap and the moonrays poured through the window.... To awaken the mood of last year he went to his room, lighted a strong cigar, and ordered the servant to bring him wine. But now the cigar was bitter and distasteful, and the wine had lost its flavour of the year before. How much it means to get out of practice! From a single cigar, and two sips of wine, his head went round, and he was obliged to take bromide of potassium.
"How happy were Buddha, Muhammad, and Shakespeare that their kind-hearted friends and doctors didn’t take away their ecstasy and inspiration!" said Kovrin. "If Muhammad had taken potassium bromide for his nerves, worked only two hours a day, and drank milk, that incredible man would have left behind as little as his dog. Doctors and caring relatives only do their best to make humanity dull, and the day will come when mediocrity will be seen as genius, and humanity will disappear. If you only had some idea," Kovrin concluded irritably, "if you only had some idea how grateful I am!" He felt a strong irritation, and to keep himself from saying too much, he stood up and went into the house. It was a still night, and the scent of tobacco plants and jalap wafted in through the window. Moonlight streamed through the large dark hall, falling on the floor and the piano. Kovrin remembered the joys of the summer before when the air, like now, was filled with the scent of jalap and moonlight poured through the window.... To revive last year’s mood, he went to his room, lit a strong cigar, and asked the servant to bring him some wine. But now the cigar was bitter and unpleasant, and the wine had lost the flavor it had last year. It’s amazing how quickly you can lose your touch! After just one cigar and two sips of wine, his head spun, and he had to take potassium bromide.
Before going to bed Tánya said to him:
Before going to bed, Tánya said to him:
"Listen. Father worships you, but you are annoyed with him about something, and that is killing him. Look at his face; he is growing old, not by days but by hours! I implore you, Andrusha, for the love of Christ, for the sake of your own dead father, for the sake of my peace of mind—be kind to him again!"
"Listen. Dad looks up to you, but you’re upset with him over something, and it’s tearing him apart. Just look at his face; he’s aging, not by days but by hours! I’m begging you, Andrusha, for the love of Christ, for your late father’s sake, and for my own peace of mind—be nice to him again!"
"I cannot, and I do not want to."
"I can't, and I don't want to."
"But why?" Tánya trembled all over. "Explain to me why!"
"But why?" Tánya shook with emotion. "Tell me why!"
"Because I do not like him; that is all," answered Kovrin carelessly, shrugging his shoulders. "But better not talk of that; he is your father."
"Because I don't like him; that's all," Kovrin replied casually, shrugging his shoulders. "But let's not talk about that; he's your dad."
"I cannot, cannot understand," said Tánya. She pressed her hands to her forehead and fixed her eyes on one point. "Something terrible, something incomprehensible is going on in this house. You, Ahdrusha, have changed; you are no longer yourself.... You—a clever, an exceptional man—get irritated over trifles. ... You are annoyed by such little things that at any other time you yourself would have refused to believe it. No ... do not be angry, do not be angry," she continued, kissing his hands, and frightened by her own words. "You are clever, good, and noble. You will be just to father. He is so good."
"I just can't understand," said Tánya. She pressed her hands to her forehead and focused on a single spot. "Something awful, something I can't grasp is happening in this house. You, Ahdrusha, have changed; you aren't yourself anymore... You—a smart, remarkable man—are getting upset over small things. ... You let trivial matters annoy you that at any other time you wouldn't have even believed. No ... please don't be angry, don't be angry," she continued, kissing his hands, scared by her own words. "You are intelligent, kind, and noble. You will be fair to father. He is so good."
"He is not good, but merely good-humoured. These vaudeville uncles—of your father's type—with well-fed, easy-going faces, are characters in their way, and once used to amuse me, whether in novels, in comedies, or in life. But they are now hateful to me. They are egoists to the marrow of their bones.... Most disgusting of all is their satiety, and this stomachic, purely bovine—or swinish—optimism."
"He’s not a good person, just someone who takes things lightly. Those vaudeville uncles—like your dad—who have plump, relaxed faces, are interesting in their own way and used to make me laugh, whether in books, in plays, or in real life. But now, I can’t stand them. They’re selfish to the core... What I find most repulsive is their sense of satisfaction and their naive, almost animalistic optimism."
Tánya sat on the bed, and laid her head on a pillow. "This is torture!" she said; and from her voice it was plain that she was utterly weary and found it hard to speak. "Since last winter not a moment of rest. ... It is terrible, my God! I suffer ..."
Tánya sat on the bed and rested her head on a pillow. "This is torture!" she said, and it was clear from her voice that she was completely exhausted and found it hard to speak. "Since last winter, I haven't had a moment of rest... It's terrible, my God! I'm suffering..."
"Yes, of course! I am Herod, and you and your papa the massacred infants. Of course!"
"Yeah, of course! I'm Herod, and you and your dad are the slaughtered infants. Of course!"
His face seemed to Tánya ugly and disagreeable. The expression of hatred and contempt did not suit it. She even observed that something was lacking in his face; ever since his hair had been cut off, it seemed changed. She felt an almost irresistible desire to say something insulting, but restrained herself in time, and overcome with terror, went out of the bedroom.
His face looked ugly and unpleasant to Tánya. The expression of hate and contempt didn’t fit him. She even noticed that something was missing from his face; ever since his hair had been cut off, it seemed different. She felt an almost overwhelming urge to say something insulting but stopped herself just in time and, filled with fear, left the bedroom.
IX
Kovrin received an independent chair. His inaugural address was fixed for the 2nd of December, and a notice to that effect was posted in the corridors of the University. But when the day came a telegram was received by the University authorities that he could not fulfil the engagement, owing to illness.
Kovrin got an independent chair. His inaugural speech was scheduled for December 2nd, and a notice was placed in the university's halls. However, on the day of the event, the university officials received a telegram stating that he could not attend due to illness.
Blood came from his throat. He spat it up, and twice in one month it flowed in streams. He felt terribly weak, and fell into a somnolent condition. But this illness did not frighten him, for he knew that his dead mother had lived with the same complaint more than ten years. His doctors, too, declared that there was no danger, and advised him merely not to worry, to lead a regular life, and to talk less.
Blood came from his throat. He spat it out, and two times in one month it flowed in streams. He felt incredibly weak and fell into a drowsy state. But this illness didn’t scare him, because he knew that his deceased mother had lived with the same issue for over ten years. His doctors also said there was no danger and advised him not to worry, to live a regular life, and to talk less.
In January the lecture was postponed for the same reason, and in February it was too late to begin the course. It was postponed till the following year.
In January, the lecture was delayed for the same reason, and by February, it was too late to start the course. It was rescheduled for the following year.
He no longer lived with Tánya, but with another woman, older than himself, who looked after him as if he were a child. His temper was calm and obedient; he submitted willingly, and when Varvara Nikolaievna—that was her name—made arrangements for taking him to the Crimea, he consented to go, although he felt that from the change no good would come.
He no longer lived with Tánya, but with another woman, older than him, who cared for him like he was a child. He was calm and compliant; he accepted things without complaint, and when Varvara Nikolaievna—that was her name—planned a trip to the Crimea, he agreed to go, even though he sensed that the change wouldn't bring anything good.
They reached Sevastopol late one evening, and stopped there to rest, intending to drive to Yalta on the following day. Both were tired by the journey. Varvara Nikolaievna drank tea, and went to bed. But Kovrin remained up. An hour before leaving home for the railway station he had received a letter from Tánya, which he had not read; and the thought of this letter caused him unpleasant agitation. In the depths of his heart he knew that his marriage with Tánya had been a mistake. He was glad that he was finally parted from her; but the remembrance of this woman, who towards the last had seemed to turn into a walking, living mummy, in which all had died except the great, clever eyes, awakened in him only pity and vexation against himself. The writing on the envelope reminded him that two years before he had been guilty of cruelty and injustice, and that he had avenged on people in no way guilty his spiritual vacuity, his solitude, his disenchantment with life.... He remembered how he had once torn into fragments his dissertation and all the articles written by him since the time of his illness, and thrown them out of the window, how the fragments flew in the wind and rested on the trees and flowers; in every page he had seen strange and baseless pretensions, frivolous irritation, and a mania for greatness. And all this had produced upon him an impression that he had written a description of his own faults. Yet when the last copybook had been tom up and thrown out of the window, he felt bitterness and vexation, and went to his wife and spoke to her cruelly. Heavens, how he had ruined her life! He remembered how once, wishing to cause her pain, he had told her that her father had played in their romance an unusual role, and had even asked him to marry her; and Yegor Semiónovitch, happening to overhear him, had rushed into the room, so dumb with consternation that he could not utter a word, but only stamped his feet on one spot and bellowed strangely as if his tongue had been cut out. And Tánya, looking at her father, cried out in a heartrending voice, and fell insensible on the floor. It was hideous.
They arrived in Sevastopol late one evening and decided to stop there to rest, planning to drive to Yalta the next day. Both were worn out from the journey. Varvara Nikolaievna had some tea and went to bed. But Kovrin stayed up. An hour before leaving home for the train station, he had received a letter from Tánya that he hadn’t read yet, and just thinking about it made him uneasy. Deep down, he knew that marrying Tánya had been a mistake. He felt relieved to be finally separated from her, but memories of the woman, who towards the end seemed to turn into a living, breathing mummy—her clever eyes remaining the only thing alive—made him feel nothing but pity and frustration with himself. The handwriting on the envelope reminded him that two years earlier, he had been cruel and unjust, taking out his spiritual emptiness, loneliness, and disillusionment with life on those who didn’t deserve it. He remembered how he had once shredded his dissertation and everything he had written since his illness, tossing the scraps out the window to be scattered by the wind, landing on trees and flowers; he saw strange and unfounded claims, trivial annoyance, and a craving for greatness in every page. It all left him with the impression that he had written a record of his own faults. Yet after tearing up the last notebook and throwing it out, he felt bitterness and frustration, leading him to speak cruelly to his wife. Good heavens, how he had wrecked her life! He recalled how, in a moment of wanting to hurt her, he told her that her father played an unusual role in their relationship and had even asked him to marry her; and when Yegor Semiónovitch overheard, he rushed into the room, so shocked he could hardly speak, just stamping his feet and making strange sounds as if he had lost his voice. And Tánya, seeing her father’s reaction, cried out in despair and collapsed on the floor. It was horrific.
The memory of all this returned to him at the sight of the well-known handwriting. He went out on to the balcony. It was warm and calm, and a salt smell came to him from the sea. The moonlight, and the lights around, were imaged on the surface of the wonderful bay—a surface of a hue impossible to name. It was a tender and soft combination of dark blue and green; in parts the water resembled copperas, and in parts, instead of water, liquid moonlight filled the bay. And all these combined in a harmony of hues which exhaled tranquillity and exaltation.
The memory of all this came back to him as he recognized the familiar handwriting. He stepped out onto the balcony. It was warm and peaceful, and a salty breeze drifted in from the sea. The moonlight and nearby lights reflected off the surface of the beautiful bay—a color that was hard to describe. It was a gentle mix of dark blue and green; in some areas, the water looked like copper, while in others, liquid moonlight filled the bay. All of these colors blended together in a harmony that radiated calmness and joy.
In the lower story of the inn, underneath the balcony, the windows were evidently open, for women's voices and laughter could plainly be heard. There must be an entertainment.
In the lower level of the inn, beneath the balcony, the windows were clearly open, as women’s voices and laughter could be distinctly heard. There must be some kind of entertainment happening.
Kovrin made an effort over himself, unsealed the letter, and, returning to his room, began to read:
Kovrin gathered himself, opened the letter, and went back to his room to read:
"My father has just died. For this I am indebted to you, for it was you who killed him. Our garden is being ruined; it is managed by strangers; what my poor father so dreaded is taking place. For this also I am indebted to you. I hate you with all my soul, and wish that you may perish soon! Oh, how I suffer I My heart bums with an intolerable pain!... May you be accursed! I took you for an exceptional man, for a genius; I loved you, and you proved a madman...."
"My father has just died. I blame you for this because you were the one who killed him. Our garden is falling apart; it's being taken care of by strangers; everything my poor father feared is happening. I blame you for that too. I hate you with all my being and wish for your swift demise! Oh, the suffering I endure! My heart burns with unbearable pain!... May you be cursed! I thought you were an extraordinary person, a genius; I loved you, and you turned out to be a madman..."
Kovrin could read no more; he tore up the letter and threw the pieces away.... He was overtaken by restlessness—almost by terror.... On the other side of the screen, slept Varvara Nikolaievna; he could hear her breathing. From the story beneath came the women's voices and laughter, but he felt that in the whole hotel there was not one living soul except himself. The fact that wretched, overwhelmed Tánya had cursed him in her letter, and wished him ill, caused him pain; and he looked fearfully at the door as if fearing to see again that unknown power which in two years had brought about so much ruin in his own life and in the lives of all who were dearest to him.
Kovrin could read no more; he ripped up the letter and tossed the pieces away.... He was hit by a wave of restlessness—almost fear.... On the other side of the screen, Varvara Nikolaievna was sleeping; he could hear her breathe. From downstairs came the sounds of women's voices and laughter, but he felt that in the entire hotel there wasn't a single living soul besides him. The fact that the miserable, overwhelmed Tánya had cursed him in her letter and wished him harm hurt him; he glanced nervously at the door as if afraid to see that unknown force which had caused so much destruction in his life and in the lives of all those he held dear over the past two years.
By experience he knew that when the nerves give way the best refuge lies in work. He used to sit at the table and concentrate his mind upon some definite thought. He took from his red portfolio a copybook containing the conspect of a small work of compilation which he intended to carry out during his stay in the Crimea, if he became tired of inactivity.... He sat at the table, and worked on this conspect, and it seemed to him that he was regaining his former peaceful, resigned, impersonal mood. His conspect led him to speculation on the vanity of the world. He thought of the great price which life demands for the most trivial and ordinary benefits which it gives to men. To reach a chair of philosophy under forty years of age; to be an ordinary professor; to expound commonplace thoughts—and those thoughts the thoughts of others—in feeble, tiresome, heavy language; in one word, to attain the position of a learned mediocrity, he had studied fifteen years, worked day and night, passed through a severe psychical disease, survived an unsuccessful marriage—been guilty of many follies and injustices which it was torture to remember. Kovrin now clearly realised that he was a mediocrity, and he was willingly reconciled to it, for he knew that every man must be satisfied with what he is.
By experience, he knew that when the nerves break down, the best escape is work. He would sit at the table and focus his mind on a specific thought. He pulled out from his red portfolio a notebook containing the outline of a small compilation he planned to complete during his time in Crimea, in case he grew tired of doing nothing.... He sat at the table and worked on this outline, feeling that he was regaining his previous calm, accepting, impersonal mindset. His outline led him to think about the vanity of the world. He reflected on the high price that life demands for the most trivial and ordinary benefits it offers to people. To reach a philosophy chair before turning forty; to be an average professor; to express mundane ideas—and those ideas being the thoughts of others—in weak, tiresome, heavy language; in short, to achieve the status of a learned mediocrity, he had studied for fifteen years, worked day and night, endured a severe mental illness, survived an unsuccessful marriage—he had committed many mistakes and injustices that were painful to recall. Kovrin now clearly understood that he was a mediocrity, and he was accepting of it, knowing that everyone must be content with who they are.
The conspect calmed him, but the tom letter lay upon the floor and hindered the concentration of his thoughts. He rose, picked up the fragments, and threw them out of the window. But a light wind blew from the sea, and the papers fluttered back on to the window sill. Again he was overtaken by restlessness akin to terror, and it seemed to him that in the whole hotel except himself there was not one living soul.... He went on to the balcony. The bay, as if alive, stared up at him from its multitude of light-and dark-blue eyes, its eyes of turquoise and fire, and beckoned him. It was warm and stifling; how delightful, he thought, to bathe!
The calmness of the scene soothed him, but the torn letter lay on the floor and distracted his thoughts. He got up, picked up the pieces, and threw them out the window. But a light breeze from the sea made the papers flutter back onto the windowsill. Once again, he was hit by a sense of restlessness that felt almost like fear, and it seemed to him that there wasn’t a single living soul in the entire hotel except for him.... He stepped out onto the balcony. The bay, as if it were alive, gazed up at him with its countless light-and dark-blue eyes, its turquoise and fiery eyes, and seemed to invite him in. It was warm and stuffy; how wonderful it would be, he thought, to take a swim!
Suddenly beneath the balcony a violin was played, and two women's voices sang. All this was known to him. The song which they sang told of a young girl, diseased in imagination, who heard by night in a garden mysterious sounds, and found in them a harmony and a holiness incomprehensible to us mortals. ... Kovrin held his breath, his heart ceased to beat, and the magical, ecstatic rapture which he had long forgotten trembled in his heart again.
Suddenly, below the balcony, someone played a violin, and two women began to sing. He recognized it all. The song they sang was about a young girl, troubled in her mind, who heard mysterious sounds in a garden at night and discovered an indescribable harmony and holiness within them that we mere mortals can't grasp. ... Kovrin held his breath, his heart stopped, and the magical, ecstatic joy he had long forgotten stirred in his heart once more.
A high, black pillar, like a cyclone or waterspout, appeared on the opposite coast. It swept with incredible swiftness across the bay towards the hotel; it became smaller and smaller, and Kovrin stepped aside to make room for it.... The monk, with uncovered grey head, with black eyebrows, barefooted, folding his arms upon his chest, swept past him, and stopped in the middle of the room.
A tall, black pillar, resembling a cyclone or waterspout, appeared on the other shore. It rushed incredibly fast across the bay towards the hotel, growing smaller and smaller, and Kovrin moved aside to let it pass... The monk, with his grey head uncovered, black eyebrows, and bare feet, crossed in front of him, and halted in the middle of the room.
"Why did you not believe me?" he asked in a tone of reproach, looking caressingly at Kovrin. "If you had believed me when I said you were a genius, these last two years would not have been passed so sadly and so barrenly."
"Why didn’t you believe me?" he asked reproachfully, gazing affectionately at Kovrin. "If you had believed me when I said you were a genius, these last two years wouldn't have been so sad and unproductive."
Kovrin again believed that he was the elected of God and a genius; he vividly remembered all his former conversation with the Black Monk, and wished to reply. But the blood flowed from his throat on to his chest, and he, not knowing what to do, moved his hands about his chest till his cuffs were red with the blood. He wished to call Varvara Nikolaievna, who slept behind the screen, and making an effort to do so, cried: "Tánya!"
Kovrin again thought he was chosen by God and a genius; he clearly remembered all his previous interactions with the Black Monk and wanted to respond. But blood was flowing from his throat onto his chest, and not knowing what to do, he moved his hands across his chest until his cuffs were stained red with blood. He wanted to call Varvara Nikolaievna, who was sleeping behind the screen, and making an effort to do so, he shouted: "Tánya!"
He fell on the floor, and raising his hands, again cried:
He fell to the floor and, raising his hands, cried out again:
"Tánya!"
"Tanya!"
He cried to Tánya, cried to the great garden with the miraculous flowers, cried to the park, to the pines with their shaggy roots, to the rye-field, cried to his marvellous science, to his youth, his daring, his joy, cried to the life which had been so beautiful. He saw on the floor before him a great pool of blood, and from weakness could not utter a single word. But an inexpressible, infinite joy filled his whole being. Beneath the balcony the serenade was being played, and the Black Monk whispered to him that he was a genius, and died only because his feeble, mortal body had lost its balance, and could no longer serve as the covering of genius.
He shouted for Tánya, shouted for the amazing garden filled with miraculous flowers, shouted for the park, for the pines with their tangled roots, for the rye field, shouted for his incredible knowledge, for his youth, his boldness, his happiness, shouted for the life that had been so beautiful. He saw a large pool of blood on the ground in front of him and, overwhelmed with weakness, couldn't say a word. But a profound, boundless joy filled him completely. Beneath the balcony, a serenade was being played, and the Black Monk whispered to him that he was a genius, and died only because his fragile, mortal body had lost its balance and could no longer hold the essence of genius.
When Varvara Nikolaievna awoke, and came from behind her screen, Kovrin was dead. But on his face was frozen an immovable smile of happiness.
When Varvara Nikolaievna woke up and came out from behind her screen, Kovrin was dead. But on his face was a frozen, unmoving smile of happiness.
ON THE WAY
In the room which the innkeeper, the Cossack Semión Tchistoplui, called "The Traveller,"—meaning thereby, "reserved exclusively for travellers,"—at a big, unpainted table, sat a tall and broad-shouldered man of about forty years of age. With his elbows on the table and his head lasting on his hands, he slept. A fragment of a tallow candle, stuck in a pomade jar, illumined his fair hair, his thick, broad nose, his sunburnt cheeks, and the beetling brows that hung over his closed eyes.... Taken one by one, all his features—his nose, his cheeks, his eyebrows—were as rude and heavy as the furniture in "The Traveller" taken together they produced an effect of singular harmony and beauty. Such, indeed, is often the character of the Russian face; the bigger, the sharper the individual features, the softer and more benevolent the whole. The sleeper was dressed as one of good class, in a threadbare jacket bound with new wide braid, a plush waistcoat, and loose black trousers, vanishing in big boots.
In the room that the innkeeper, Cossack Semión Tchistoplui, called "The Traveller,"—meaning "reserved exclusively for travelers,"—sat a tall, broad-shouldered man around forty years old at a large, unpainted table. With his elbows on the table and his head resting on his hands, he was asleep. A piece of tallow candle, propped up in a pomade jar, lit up his fair hair, his thick, broad nose, his sunburned cheeks, and the prominent brows that shaded his closed eyes... Each of his features—his nose, cheeks, and eyebrows—looked as rough and heavy as the furniture in "The Traveller," but together they created a unique harmony and beauty. This is often the case with Russian faces; the larger and sharper the individual features, the softer and more kind the overall look. The sleeper was dressed well, wearing a threadbare jacket trimmed with new wide braid, a plush waistcoat, and loose black trousers that disappeared into big boots.
On a bench which stretched the whole way round the room slept a girl some eight years of age. She lay upon a foxskin overcoat, and wore a brown dress and long black stockings. Her face was pale, her hair fair, her shoulders narrow, her body slight and frail; but her nose ended in just such an ugly lump as the man's. She slept soundly, and did not seem to feel that the crescent comb which had fallen from her hair was cutting into her cheek.
On a bench that went all the way around the room, a girl about eight years old was sleeping. She lay on a fox fur coat and wore a brown dress and long black stockings. Her face was pale, her hair light, her shoulders narrow, and her body small and delicate; but her nose had an ugly bump, just like the man's. She slept deeply and didn’t seem to notice that the crescent-shaped comb that had fallen from her hair was digging into her cheek.
"The Traveller" had a holiday air. The atmosphere smelt of newly-washed floors; there were no rags on the line which stretched diagonally across the room; and in the ikon corner, casting a red reflection upon the image of St. George the Victory-Bringer, burned a lamp. With a severe and cautious gradation from the divine to the earthly, there stretched from each side of the image row of gaudily-painted pictures. In the dim light thrown from the lamp and candle-end these pictures seemed to form a continuous belt covered with black patches; but when the tiled stove, wishing to sing in accord with the weather, drew in the blast with a howl, and the logs, as if angered, burst into ruddy flames and roared with rage, rosy patches quivered along the walls; and above the head of the sleeping man might be seen first the faces of seraphim, then the Shah Nasr Edin, and finally a greasy, sunburnt boy, with staring eyes, whispering something into the ear of a girl with a singularly blunt and indifferent face.
"The Traveller" had a festive vibe. The air smelled of freshly cleaned floors; there were no rags hanging on the line that crossed the room; and in the icon corner, a lamp burned, casting a red glow on the image of St. George the Victory-Bringer. With a sharp, careful transition from the divine to the earthly, there was a row of brightly painted pictures on each side of the image. In the dim light from the lamp and candle stub, these pictures appeared to create a continuous strip marked with dark spots; but when the tiled stove, eager to harmonize with the weather, let out a howl of air, and the logs, seemingly offended, burst into vibrant flames and roared with fury, pink patches flickered along the walls; above the sleeping man's head, one could first see the faces of seraphim, then Shah Nasr Edin, and finally a dirty, sun-kissed boy with wide eyes, whispering something into the ear of a girl with a remarkably blunt and uninterested expression.
The storm howled outside. Something wild and angry, but deeply miserable, whirled round the inn with the fury of a beast, and strove to burst its way in. It banged against the doors, it beat on the windows and roof, it tore the walls, it threatened, it implored, it quieted down, and then with the joyous howl of triumphant treachery it rushed up the stove pipe; but here the logs burst into flame, and the fire, like a chained hound, rose up in rage to meet its enemy. There was a sobbing, a hissing, and an angry roar. In all this might be distinguished both irritated weariness and unsatisfied hate, and the angered impotence of one accustomed to victory.
The storm howled outside. Something wild and furious, yet deeply miserable, swirled around the inn like a raging beast, trying to break in. It banged against the doors, pounded on the windows and roof, tore at the walls, threatened, pleaded, calmed down, and then with a triumphantly deceitful howl, it rushed up the stovepipe; but in response, the logs ignited, and the fire, like a chained dog, rose up fiercely to confront its foe. There was a sobbing, hissing, and an angry roar. In all of this, you could sense both irritated fatigue and unfulfilled rage, along with the blindsided fury of one who was used to winning.
Enchanted by the wild, inhuman music, "The Traveller" seemed numbed into immobility for ever. But the door creaked on its hinges, and into the inn came the potboy in a new calico shirt He walked with a limp, twitched his sleepy eyes, snuffed the candle with his fingers, and went out The bells of the village church of Rogatchi, three hundred yards away, began to strike twelve. It was midnight The storm played with the sounds as with snowflakes, it chased them to infinite distances, it cut some short and stretched some into long undulating notes; and it smothered others altogether in the universal tumult But suddenly a chime resounded so loudly through the room that it might have been rung under the window. The girl on the foxskin overcoat started and raised hex head. For a moment she gazed vacantly at the black window, then turned her eyes upon Nasr Edin, on whose face the firelight gleamed, and finally looked at the sleeping man.
Enchanted by the wild, inhuman music, "The Traveller" seemed frozen in place forever. But the door creaked on its hinges, and the potboy entered the inn wearing a new calico shirt. He walked with a limp, twitched his sleepy eyes, snuffed the candle with his fingers, and walked out. The bells of the village church in Rogatchi, three hundred yards away, began to strike twelve. It was midnight. The storm played with the sounds like snowflakes, chasing them to infinite distances, cutting some short and stretching others into long, undulating notes, while smothering some completely in the chaotic din. But suddenly, a chime rang out so loudly through the room that it could have been rung right under the window. The girl on the foxskin overcoat jumped and lifted her head. For a moment, she stared blankly at the black window, then turned her gaze to Nasr Edin, whose face was illuminated by the firelight, and finally looked at the sleeping man.
"Papa!" she cried.
"Dad!" she cried.
But her father did not move. The girl peevishly twitched her eyebrows, and lay down again with her legs bent under her. A loud yawn sounded outside the door. Again the hinges squeaked, and indistinct voices were heard. Someone entered, shook the snow from his coat, and stamped his feet heavily.
But her father didn’t move. The girl irritably raised her eyebrows and lay back down with her legs tucked beneath her. A loud yawn echoed outside the door. The hinges squeaked again, and muffled voices could be heard. Someone walked in, shook the snow off their coat, and stomped their feet heavily.
"Who is it?" drawled a female voice.
"Who is it?" a woman's voice drawled.
"Mademoiselle Ilováisky," answered a bass.
"Ms. Ilováisky," answered a bass.
Again the door creaked. The storm tore into the cabin and howled. Someone, no doubt the limping boy, went to the door of "The Traveller," coughed respectfully, and raised the latch.
Again, the door creaked. The storm slammed into the cabin and howled. Someone, probably the limping boy, approached the door of "The Traveller," coughed politely, and lifted the latch.
"Come in, please," said the female voice. "It is all quite clean, honey!"
"Come in, please," said the woman's voice. "It's all really clean, sweetie!"
The door flew open. On the threshold appeared a bearded muzhik, dressed in a coachman's caftan, covered with snow from head to foot. He stooped under the weight of a heavy portmanteau. Behind him entered a little female figure, not half his height, faceless and handless, rolled into a shapeless bundle, and covered also with snow. Both coachman and bundle smelt of damp. The candle-flame trembled.
The door swung wide open. On the threshold stood a bearded man in a coachman's coat, completely covered in snow. He bent under the weight of a heavy suitcase. Behind him came a small female figure, barely half his height, without a face or hands, wrapped up in a shapeless bundle and also covered in snow. Both the coachman and the bundle smelled damp. The candle flame flickered.
"What nonsense!" cried the bundle angrily. "Of course we can go on! It is only twelve versts more, chiefly wood. There is no fear of our losing the way."
"What nonsense!" shouted the bundle angrily. "Of course we can keep going! It's only twelve versts more, mostly through the woods. There's no chance we'll get lost."
"Lose our way or not, it's all the same ... the horses won't go an inch farther," answered the coachman. "Lord bless you, miss.... As if I had done it on purpose!"
"Lose our way or not, it's all the same ... the horses won't move an inch farther," replied the driver. "Goodness, miss... As if I did it on purpose!"
"Heaven knows where you've landed me!..."
"Heaven knows where you've brought me!..."
"Hush! there's someone asleep. You may go!"
"Hush! Someone is sleeping. You can go!"
The coachman shook the caked snow from his shoulders, set down the portmanteau, snuffled, and went out And the little girl, watching, saw two tiny hands creeping out of the middle of the bundle, stretching upward, and undoing the network of shawls, handkerchiefs, and scarfs. First on the floor fell a heavy shawl, then a hood, and after it a white knitted muffler. Having freed its head, the bundle removed its cloak, and shrivelled suddenly into half its former size. Now it appeared in a long, grey ulster, with immense buttons and yawning pockets. From one pocket it drew a paper parcel. From the other came a bunch of keys, which the bundle put down so incautiously that the sleeping man started and opened his eyes. For a moment he looked around him vacantly, as if not realising where he was, then shook his head, walked to the corner of the room, and sat down. The bundle took off its ulster, again reduced itself by half, drew off its shoes, and also sat down.
The coachman shook the packed snow off his shoulders, put down the suitcase, snorted, and went outside. The little girl, watching, saw two tiny hands emerging from the middle of the bundle, reaching up, and untangling the layers of shawls, handkerchiefs, and scarves. First, a heavy shawl fell to the floor, then a hood, followed by a white knitted scarf. After freeing its head, the bundle took off its cloak and suddenly shrank to half its original size. It now appeared in a long gray coat with huge buttons and deep pockets. From one pocket, it pulled out a paper parcel. From the other came a bunch of keys, which the bundle dropped so carelessly that the sleeping man jumped and opened his eyes. At first, he looked around confusedly, as if he didn't realize where he was, then shook his head, walked to the corner of the room, and sat down. The bundle took off its coat, once again reduced in size, took off its shoes, and also sat down.
It no longer resembled a bundle. It was a woman, a tiny, fragile brunette of some twenty years of age, thin as a serpent, with a long pale face, and curly hair. Her nose was long and sharp, her chin long and sharp, her eyelashes long; and thanks to a general sharpness the expression of her face was stinging. Dressed in a tight-fitting black gown, with lace on the neck and sleeves, with sharp elbows and long, rosy fingers, she called to mind portraits of English ladies of the middle of the century. The serious, self-centred expression of her face served only to increase the resemblance.
It no longer looked like a bundle. It was a woman, a small, delicate brunette around twenty years old, thin as a snake, with a long pale face and curly hair. Her nose was long and sharp, her chin long and pointy, her eyelashes long; and due to her overall sharpness, her expression was striking. Wearing a form-fitting black dress with lace at the neck and sleeves, and with sharp elbows and long, rosy fingers, she reminded one of portraits of English ladies from the mid-century. The serious, self-absorbed look on her face only heightened the resemblance.
The brunette looked around the room, glanced sidelong at the man and girl, and, shrugging her shoulders, went over and sat at the window. The dark windows trembled in the damp west wind. Outside great flakes of snow, flashing white, darted against the glass, clung to it for a second, and were whirled away by the storm. The wild music grew louder.
The brunette looked around the room, glanced sideways at the man and girl, and, shrugging her shoulders, went over and sat by the window. The dark windows shook in the damp west wind. Outside, large flakes of snow, bright white, slammed against the glass, stuck to it for a moment, and were swept away by the storm. The wild music grew louder.
There was a long silence. At last the little girl rose suddenly, and, angrily ringing out every word, exclaimed:
There was a long silence. Finally, the little girl stood up abruptly and, angrily emphasizing every word, shouted:
"Lord! Lord! How unhappy I am! The most miserable being in the world!"
"Lord! Lord! I'm so unhappy! I'm the most miserable person in the world!"
The man rose, and with a guilty air, ill-suited to his gigantic stature and long beard, went to the bench.
The man got up, looking guilty, which didn't match his huge size and long beard, and walked over to the bench.
"You're not sleeping, dearie? What do you want?" He spoke in the voice of a man who is excusing himself.
"You're not sleeping, sweetheart? What do you need?" He spoke in the tone of a man who's making an apology.
"I don't want anything! My shoulder hurts! You are a wicked man, father, and God will punish you. Wait! You'll see how he'll punish you!"
"I don't want anything! My shoulder hurts! You're a terrible man, dad, and God is going to punish you. Just wait! You'll see how he punishes you!"
"I know it's painful, darling ... but what can I do?" He spoke in the tone employed by husbands when they make excuses to their angry wives. "If your shoulder hurts it is the long journey that is guilty. To-morrow it will be over, then we shall rest, and the pain will stop." ...
"I know it hurts, babe ... but what can I do?" He spoke in the tone that husbands use when they make excuses to their upset wives. "If your shoulder hurts, it’s because of the long journey. Tomorrow it will be over, then we can rest, and the pain will go away."
"To-morrow! To-morrow!... Every day you say to-morrow! We shall go on for another twenty days!"
"Tomorrow! Tomorrow!... Every day you say tomorrow! We’ll keep this up for another twenty days!"
"Listen, friend, I give you my word of honour that this is the last day. I never tell you untruths. If the storm delayed us, that is not my fault."
"Listen, my friend, I promise you this is the last day. I never lie to you. If the storm held us up, that’s not my fault."
"I can bear it no longer! I cannot! I cannot!"
"I can't take it anymore! I just can't! I can't!"
Sasha pulled in her leg sharply, and filled the room with a disagreeable whining cry. Her father waved his arm, and looked absent-mindedly at the brunette. The brunette shrugged her shoulders, and walked irresolutely towards Sasha.
Sasha pulled in her leg quickly and let out a loud, annoying whine that filled the room. Her father waved his arm and looked absentmindedly at the brunette. The brunette shrugged her shoulders and walked uncertainly towards Sasha.
"Tell me, dear," she said, "why are you crying? It is very nasty to have a sore shoulder ... but what can be done?"
"Tell me, dear," she said, "why are you crying? It’s really unpleasant to have a sore shoulder ... but what can be done?"
"The fact is, mademoiselle," said the man apologetically, "we have had no sleep for two nights, and drove here in a villainous cart. No wonder she is ill and unhappy. A drunken driver ... the luggage stolen ... all the time in a snowstorm ... but what's the good of crying?... I, too, am tired out with sleeping in a sitting position, so tired that I feel almost drunk. Listen, Sasha ... even as they are things are bad enough ... yet you must cry!"
"The thing is, miss," the man said apologetically, "we haven't slept in two nights, and we came here in a terrible cart. No wonder she’s sick and upset. A drunk driver... our luggage got stolen... all while we were in a snowstorm... but what's the point of crying?... I'm also exhausted from trying to sleep while sitting, so tired that I feel almost drunk. Listen, Sasha... even as things are, they’re bad enough... yet you still have to cry!"
He turned his head away, waved his arm, and sat down.
He turned his head, waved his arm, and sat down.
"Of course, you mustn't cry!" said the brunette. "Only babies cry. If you are ill, dearie, you must undress and go to sleep.... Come, let me undress you!"
"Of course, you shouldn't cry!" said the brunette. "Only babies cry. If you're feeling sick, sweetie, you need to get undressed and go to sleep.... Come on, let me help you get undressed!"
With the girl undressed and comforted, silence again took possession of the room. The brunette sat at the window, and looked questioningly at the wall, the ikon, and the stove. Apparently things around seemed very strange to her, the room, the girl with her fat nose and boy's short nightgown, and the girl's father. That strange man sat in the corner, looking vacantly about him like a drunken man, and nibbing his face with his hands. He kept silence, blinked his eyes; and judging from his guilty figure no one would expect that he would be the first to break the silence. Yet it was he who began. He smoothed his trousers, coughed, laughed, and said:
With the girl undressed and comforted, silence settled back over the room. The brunette sat at the window, looking curiously at the wall, the icon, and the stove. Everything around seemed very odd to her—the room, the girl with her round nose and boyish short nightgown, and the girl’s father. That strange man sat in the corner, staring blankly around like someone who was drunk, rubbing his face with his hands. He remained quiet, blinking his eyes; and from his guilty posture, no one would expect him to be the first to break the silence. Yet, it was he who spoke up first. He straightened his trousers, cleared his throat, chuckled, and said:
"A comedy, I swear to God!.. I look around, and can't believe my eyes. Why did destiny bring us to this accursed inn P What did she mean to express by it? But life sometimes makes such a salto mortale, that you look and can't believe your eyes. Are you going far, miss?"
"A comedy, I swear! I look around and can’t believe my eyes. Why did fate bring us to this cursed inn? What was the point of it? But life sometimes pulls off such a crazy stunt that you look and just can't believe what you're seeing. Are you headed far, miss?"
"Not very far," answered the brunette. "I was going from home, about twenty versts away, to a farm of ours where my father and brother are staying. I am Mademoiselle Ilováisky, and the farm is Ilováisk. It is twelve versts from this. What disagreeable weather!"
"Not too far," replied the brunette. "I was coming from home, which is about twenty versts away, to our farm where my father and brother are staying. I'm Mademoiselle Ilováisky, and the farm is Ilováisk. It's twelve versts from here. What terrible weather!"
"It could hardly be worse."
"It couldn’t be worse."
The lame pot-boy entered the room, and stuck a fresh candle end in the pomade jar.
The limping pot-boy walked into the room and put a new candle stub in the pomade jar.
"Get the samovar!" said the man.
"Get the samovar!" the man said.
"Nobody drinks tea at this hour," grinned the boy. "It is a sin before Mass."
"Nobody drinks tea at this hour," the boy smirked. "It's a sin before Mass."
"Don't you mind ... it is not you that'll burn in hell, but we...."
"Don't you worry... it's not you who's going to burn in hell, but us..."
While they drank their tea the conversation continued. Mdlle. Ilováisky learned that the stranger's name was Grigóri Petróvitch Likharyóff, that he was a brother of Likharyóff, the Marshal of the Nobility in the neighbouring district, that he had himself once been a landed proprietor, but had gone through everything. And in turn Likharyóff learned that his companion was Márya Mikháilovna Ilováisky, that her father had a large estate, and that all the management fell upon her shoulders, as both father and brother were improvident, looked at life through their fingers, and thought of little but greyhounds....
While they sipped their tea, the conversation went on. Mdlle. Ilováisky discovered that the stranger's name was Grigóri Petróvitch Likharyóff, and that he was the brother of Likharyóff, the Marshal of the Nobility in the nearby district. He had once been a landowner but had lost everything. In return, Likharyóff found out that his companion was Márya Mikháilovna Ilováisky, that her father owned a large estate, and that all the management responsibilities fell on her, as both her father and brother were careless, took life lightly, and thought only of greyhounds...
"My father and brother are quite alone on the farm," said Mdlle. Ilováisky, moving her fingers (she had a habit in conversation of moving her fingers before her stinging face, and after every phrase, licking her lips with a pointed tongue); "they are the mast helpless creatures on the face of the earth, and can't lift a finger to help themselves. My father is muddle-headed, and my brother every evening tired off his feet. Imagine!... who is to get them food after the Fast? Mother is dead, and our servants cannot lay a cloth without my supervision. They will be without proper food, while I spend all night here. It is very funny!"
"My father and brother are completely alone on the farm," said Mdlle. Ilováisky, moving her fingers (she had a habit of fidgeting with her fingers in conversation, and after every sentence, she would lick her lips with a pointed tongue); "they are the most helpless creatures in the world and can’t do a thing to help themselves. My father is scatterbrained, and my brother is exhausted every evening. Just think!... who is going to get them food after the Fast? Mom is gone, and our servants can’t set the table without my oversight. They’ll be without proper food while I’m stuck here all night. It’s so ridiculous!"
Mdlle. Ilováisky shrugged her shoulders, sipped her tea, and said:
Mlle. Ilováisky shrugged her shoulders, took a sip of her tea, and said:
"There are certain holidays which have a peculiar smell. Easter, Trinity, and Christinas each has its own smell. Even atheists love these holidays. My brother, for instance, says there is no God, but at Easter he is the first to run off to the morning service." Likharyóff lifted his eyes, turned them on his companion and laughed.
"There are some holidays that have a unique smell. Easter, Trinity, and Christmas each have their own distinct scent. Even atheists enjoy these holidays. My brother, for example, claims there is no God, but at Easter, he's the first one to head to the morning service." Likharyóff looked up, directed his gaze at his companion, and laughed.
"They say that there is no God," continued Mdlle. Ilováisky, also laughing, "but why then, be so good as to tell me, do all celebrated writers, scholars, and clever men generally, believe at the close of their lives?"
"They say there is no God," Mdlle. Ilováisky continued, laughing too, "but then, can you explain why all the famous writers, scholars, and smart people generally believe at the end of their lives?"
"The man who in youth has not learnt to believe does not believe in old age, be he a thousand times a writer."
"The man who hasn't learned to believe in his youth won't believe in old age, no matter how many times he writes."
Judged by his cough, Likharyóff had a bass voice, but now either from fear of speaking too loud, or from a needless bashfulness, he spoke in a tenor. After a moment's silence, he sighed and continued:
Judging by his cough, Likharyóff had a deep voice, but now either out of fear of speaking too loudly or from unnecessary shyness, he spoke in a higher pitch. After a brief silence, he sighed and continued:
"This is how I understand it. Faith is a quality of the soul. It is the same as talent ... it is congenital. As far as I can judge from my own case, from those whom I have met in life, from all that I see around me, this congenital faith is inherent in all Russians to an astonishing degree.... May I have another cup? ... Russian life presents itself as a continuous series of faiths and infatuations, but unbelief or negation it has not—if I may so express it—even smelt. That a Russian does not believe in God is merely a way of saying that he believes in something else."
"This is how I see it. Faith is a quality of the soul. It's just like talent... it’s something you're born with. Based on my own experience, the people I've met in my life, and everything I observe around me, this innate faith is incredibly strong in all Russians. Can I get another cup? ... Russian life comes across as a continuous series of beliefs and obsessions, but it has never really experienced disbelief or rejection—not even a hint of it. When a Russian says they don't believe in God, it usually just means they believe in something else."
Likharyóff took from Mdlle. Ilováisky another cup of tea, gulped down half of it at once, and continued: "Let me tell you about myself. In my soul Nature planted exceptional capacity for belief. Half my life have I lived an atheist and a Nihilist, yet never was there a single moment when I did not believe. Natural gifts display themselves generally in early childhood, and my capacity for faith showed itself at a time when I could walk upright underneath the table. My mother used to make us children eat a lot, and when she gave us our meals, she had a habit of saying, 'Eat, children; there's nothing on earth like soup!' I believed this; I ate soup ten times a day, swallowed it like a shark to the point of vomiting and disgust. My nurse used to tell me fairy tales, and I believed in ghosts, in fairies, in wood-demons, in every kind of monster. I remember well! I used to steal corrosive sublimate from father's room, sprinkle it on gingerbread, and leave it in the attic, so that the ghosts might eat it and die. But when I learned to read and to understand what I read, my beliefs got beyond description. I even ran away to America, I joined a gang of robbers, I tried to enter a monastery, I hired boys to torture me for Christ's sake. When I ran away to America I did not go alone, but took with me just such another fool, and I was glad when we froze nearly to death, and when I was flogged. When I ran away to join the robbers, I returned every time with a broken skin. Most untranquil childhood! But when I was sent to school, and learned that the earth goes round the sun, and that white light so far from being white is composed of seven primary colours, my head went round entirely. At home everything seemed hideous, my mother, in the name of Elijah, denying lightning conductors, my father indifferent to the truths I preached. My new enlightenment inspired me! Like a madman I rushed about the house; I preached my truths to the stable boys, I was driven to despair by ignorance, I flamed with hatred against all who saw in white light only white.... But this is nonsense.... Serious, so to speak, manly infatuations began with me only at college.... Have you completed a university course?"
Likharyóff took another cup of tea from Mdlle. Ilováisky, gulped down half of it at once, and continued: "Let me tell you about myself. Deep down, I have a natural ability to believe. I spent half my life as an atheist and a Nihilist, yet never did I have a moment when I didn't believe. Natural talents usually reveal themselves in early childhood, and my ability to have faith showed itself when I was just able to walk upright under the table. My mother made sure we ate a lot, and whenever she served our meals, she would say, 'Eat, children; there's nothing on earth like soup!' I believed it; I ate soup ten times a day, devouring it like a shark until I felt sick. My nurse would tell me fairy tales, and I believed in ghosts, fairies, wood-demons, and all kinds of monsters. I remember well! I used to steal corrosive sublimate from my father's room, sprinkle it on gingerbread, and leave it in the attic for the ghosts to eat and die. But once I learned to read and understand what I read, my beliefs were off the charts. I even ran away to America, joined a gang of robbers, tried to enter a monastery, and hired boys to torture me for Christ's sake. When I ran away to America, I didn’t go alone; I brought another fool with me, and I was glad when we nearly froze to death and when I was beaten. Every time I ran away to join the robbers, I came back with cuts and bruises. My childhood was anything but peaceful! But when I went to school and learned that the Earth revolves around the sun, and that white light is made up of seven primary colors, my mind was blown. At home, everything seemed awful—my mother, denying lightning rods in the name of Elijah, and my father indifferent to the truths I preached. My new knowledge inspired me! Like a madman, I rushed around the house; I preached my truths to the stable boys, I was driven to despair by ignorance, and I burned with hatred against anyone who saw white light as only white... But that’s nonsense... My serious, manly obsessions only started when I got to college... Have you finished a university course?"
"At Novotcherkask—in the Don Institute."
"At Novotcherkask—at the Don Institute."
"But that is not a university course. You can hardly know what this science is. All sciences, whatever they may be, have only one and the same passport, without which they are meaningless—an aspiration to truth! Every one of them—even your wretched pharmacology—has its end, not in profit, not in convenience and advantage to life, but in truth. It is astonishing! When you begin the study of any science you are captivated from the first. I tell you, there is nothing more seductive and gracious, nothing so seizes and overwhelms the human soul, as the beginning of a science. In the first five or six lectures you are exalted by the very brightest hopes—you seem already the master of eternal truth.... Well, I gave myself to science passionately, as to a woman loved. I was its slave, and, except it, would recognise no other sun. Day and night, night and day, without unbending my back, I studied. I learnt off formulas by heart; I ruined myself on books; I wept when I saw with my own eyes others exploiting science for personal aims. ... But I got over my infatuation soon. The fact is, every science has a beginning, but it has no end—it is like a recurring decimal. Zoology discovered thirty-five thousand species of insects; chemistry counts sixty elementary substances. If, as time goes by, you add to these figures ten ciphers, you will be just as far from the end as now, for all contemporary scientific research consists in the multiplication of figures.... This I began to understand when I myself discovered the thirty-five-thousand-and-first species, and gained no satisfaction. But I had no disillusion to outlive, for a new faith immediately appeared. I thrust myself into Nihilism with its proclamations, its hideous deeds, its tricks of all sorts. I went down to the people; I served as factory-hand; I greased the axles of railway carriages; I turned myself into a bargee. It was while thus wandering all over the face of Russia that I first saw Russian life. I became an impassioned admirer of that life. I loved the Russian people to distraction; I loved and trusted in its God, in its language, in its creations.... And so on eternally.... In my time I have been a Slavophile, and bored Aksakoff with my letters; and an Ukrainophile, and an archaeologist, and a collector of specimens of popular creative art ... I have been earned away by ideas, by men, by events, by places.... I have been carried away unceasingly.... Five years ago I embodied as the negation of property; my latest faith was non-resistance to evil."
"But that’s not a university course. You can hardly grasp what this science really is. All sciences, no matter what they are, share one essential quality, without which they’re meaningless—an aspiration for truth! Each of them—even your miserable pharmacology—has an ultimate goal that isn’t profit or convenience or benefits to life, but truth. It’s incredible! When you start studying any science, you’re captivated right from the beginning. I tell you, nothing is more alluring and graceful, nothing captures and overwhelms the human soul quite like the start of a science. In the first five or six lectures, you're filled with the brightest hopes—you feel like you’re already the master of eternal truth.... Well, I committed myself to science passionately, like a person in love. I was its slave, and aside from it, I recognized no other source of light. Day and night, without a break, I studied. I memorized formulas; I exhausted myself with books; I cried when I saw others using science for their own selfish goals.... But I quickly got over my obsession. The truth is, every science has a beginning, but it has no end—it’s like a recurring decimal. Zoology has identified thirty-five thousand species of insects; chemistry lists sixty elements. If over time you add ten zeros to these numbers, you'll still be just as far from the end as you are now, because all contemporary scientific research consists of multiplying figures.... I started to realize this when I discovered the thirty-five-thousand-and-first species and felt no satisfaction. But I didn’t endure disillusionment for long, as a new belief quickly emerged. I dove into Nihilism with its declarations, its horrific acts, its all kinds of antics. I went down to the people; I worked in factories; I greased the axles of railway cars; I became a bargee. It was during my wandering all across Russia that I first experienced Russian life. I became an ardent admirer of that life. I loved the Russian people to distraction; I loved and had faith in its God, in its language, in its creations.... And so on forever.... In my time, I’ve been a Slavophile, and I bored Aksakoff with my letters; I was a Ukrainian enthusiast, an archaeologist, and a collector of examples of popular art ... I’ve been swept away by ideas, by people, by events, by places.... I’ve been carried away endlessly.... Five years ago, I embodied the denial of property; my latest belief was non-resistance to evil."
Sasha sighed gustily and moved. Likharyóff rose and went over to her.
Sasha let out a big sigh and shifted her position. Likharyóff stood up and walked over to her.
"Will you have some tea, darling?" he asked tenderly
"Would you like some tea, sweetheart?" he asked gently.
"Drink it yourself!" answered Sasha.
"Drink it yourself!" replied Sasha.
"You have lived a varied life," said Márya Mikháilovna. "You have something to remember."
"You've had a diverse life," Márya Mikháilovna said. "You have memories to hold onto."
"Yes, yes; it is all very genial when you sit at the tea-table and gossip with a good companion; but you do not ask me what has all this gaiety cast me. With what have I paid for the diversity of my life? You must remember, in the first place, that I did not believe like a German Doctor of Philosophy. I did not live as a hermit, but my every faith bent me as a bow, and tore my body to pieces. Judge for yourself! Once I was as rich as my brother: now I am a beggar. Into this whirlpool of infatuation I cast my own estate, the property of my wife, the money of many others. I am forty-two to-day, with old age staring me in the face, and I am homeless as a dog that has lost his master by night. In my whole life I have never known repose. My soul was in constant torment; I suffered even from my hopes.... I have worn myself out with heavy unregulated work; I have suffered deprivation; five times I have been in prison. I have wandered through Archangel and Tobolsk ... the very memory sickens me. I lived, but in the vortex never felt the process of life. Will you believe it, I never noticed how my wife loved me—when my children were born. What more can I tell you? To all who loved me I brought misfortune.... My mother has mourned for me now fifteen years, and my own brothers, who through me have been made to blush, who have been made to bend their backs, whose hearts have been sickened, whose money has been wasted, have grown at last to hate me like poison."
"Yeah, sure; it’s all really nice when you’re sitting at the tea table, chatting with a good friend; but you don’t ask me what all this happiness has cost me. What have I paid for the variety in my life? You must remember, first of all, that I didn’t believe like a German philosopher. I didn’t live like a hermit, but every belief I held pulled me apart and tore me to pieces. Just think about it! I was once as wealthy as my brother: now I’m a beggar. I threw my own fortune, my wife’s property, and the money of many others into this whirlwind of madness. I’m forty-two today, with old age staring me down, and I’m as homeless as a dog that’s lost its master at night. Throughout my entire life, I’ve never known peace. My soul was in constant torment; I even suffered from my hopes.... I’ve worn myself out with intense, unsteady work; I’ve faced deprivation; I’ve been in prison five times. I’ve wandered through Archangel and Tobolsk ... just thinking about it makes me sick. I lived, but in the chaos, I never felt the experience of life. Can you believe it? I never noticed how much my wife loved me—when our children were born. What more can I say? I brought misfortune to everyone who loved me.... My mother has mourned for me for fifteen years now, and my own brothers, who’ve been embarrassed because of me, who’ve had to carry burdens because of me, whose hearts have been hurt, whose money I’ve squandered, have finally come to hate me like poison."
Likharyóff rose and again sat down.
Likharyóff got up and sat down again.
"If I were only unhappy I should be thankful to God," he continued, looking at Mdlle. Ilováisky. "But my personal unhappiness fades away when I remember how often in my infatuations I was ridiculous, far from the truth, unjust, cruel, dangerous! How often with my whole soul have I hated and despised those whom I ought to have loved, and loved those whom I ought to have hated! To-day, I believe; I fall down on my face and worship: to-morrow, like a coward, I flee from the gods and friends of yesterday, and silently swallow some scoundrel! God alone knows how many times I have wept with shame for my infatuations! Never in my life have I consciously lied or committed a wrong, yet my conscience is unclean! I cannot even boast that my hands are unstained with blood, for before my own eyes my wife faded to death—worn out by my improvidence. My own wife!... Listen; there are now in fashion two opposing opinions of woman. One class measures her skull to prove that she is lower than man, to determine her defects, to justify their own animality. The other would employ all their strength in lifting woman to their own level—that is to say, force her to learn by heart thirty-five thousand species of insects, to talk and write the same nonsense as they themselves talk and write." Likharyóff's face darkened.
"If I were just unhappy, I would still be grateful to God," he continued, looking at Mdlle. Ilováisky. "But my personal unhappiness seems small compared to how often I've been ridiculous in my crushes, completely mistaken, unfair, cruel, and dangerous! How often have I passionately hated and looked down on those I should have loved, and loved those I should have hated! Today, I believe; I fall on my face and worship: tomorrow, like a coward, I run away from the gods and friends of yesterday, silently swallowing my pride! Only God knows how many times I've cried out of shame for my obsessions! I've never intentionally lied or done anything wrong, yet my conscience is dirty! I can’t even claim my hands are clean of blood, for I watched my own wife fade away—drained by my carelessness. My own wife!... Listen, there are currently two opposing views about women. One group measures her skull to prove she’s inferior to men, looking for flaws to justify their own brutishness. The other tries to raise women to their level—that is, forcing them to memorize thirty-five thousand types of insects and to speak and write the same nonsense they do." Likharyóff's face darkened.
"But I tell you that woman always was and always will be the slave of man!" he said in a bass voice, thumping his fist upon the table. "She is wax—tender, plastic wax—from which man can mould what he will. Lord in heaven! Yet out of some trumpery infatuation for manhood she cuts her hair, forsakes her family, dies in a foreign land.... Of all the ideas to which she sacrifices herself not one is feminine!... Devoted, unthinking slave! Skulls I have never measured; but this I say from bitter, grievous experience: The proudest, the most independent women—once I had succeeded in communicating to them my inspiration, came after me, unreasoning, asking no questions, obeying my every wish. Of a nun I made a Nihilist, who, as I afterwards learned, killed a gendarme. My wife never forsook me in all my wanderings, and like a weathercock changed her faith as I changed my infatuations." With excitement Likharyóff jumped up, and walked up and down the room.
"But I tell you, women have always been and always will be the slaves of men!" he said in a deep voice, banging his fist on the table. "She is like wax—soft, pliable wax—from which a man can shape whatever he wants. Goodness! Yet out of some foolish obsession with manhood, she cuts her hair, abandons her family, and dies in a foreign land... Of all the ideals she sacrifices herself for, not one is truly feminine!... Devoted, mindless slave! I've never measured skulls; but I can say this from bitter, painful experience: the proudest, most independent women—once I managed to share my vision with them, they came after me, blindly, without questions, obeying my every command. I turned a nun into a Nihilist, who, as I later learned, killed a policeman. My wife never abandoned me in all my travels, and like a weather vane, she changed her beliefs as I changed my obsessions." With excitement, Likharyóff jumped up and paced the room.
"Noble, exalted slavery!" he exclaimed, gesticulating. "In this, in this alone, is hidden the true significance of woman's life.... Out of all the vile nonsense which accumulated in my head during my relations with women, one thing, as water from a filter, has come out pure, and that is neither ideas, nor philosophy, nor clever phrases, but this extraordinary submissiveness to fate, this uncommon benevolence, this all-merciful kindness."
"Noble, exalted slavery!" he exclaimed, waving his hands. "In this, and only this, lies the true meaning of a woman's life... From all the worthless nonsense that built up in my mind during my experiences with women, one thing has emerged clear, like water from a filter, and it’s not ideas, philosophy, or clever phrases, but this extraordinary acceptance of fate, this rare kindness, this all-encompassing compassion."
Likharyóff clenched his fists, concentrated his eyes upon a single point, and, as if tasting every word, filtered through his clenched teeth:
Likharyóff clenched his fists, focused his gaze on one spot, and, as if savoring each word, let them spill through his gritted teeth:
"This magnanimous endurance, faith to the grave, the poetry of the heart. It is in this ... yes, it is in this that the meaning of life is found, in this unmurmuring martyrdom, in the tears that soften stone, in the infinite all-forgiving love, which sweeps into the chaos of life in lightness and warmth...."
"This generous endurance, faith to the end, the poetry of the heart. It is in this ... yes, it is in this that we find the meaning of life, in this quiet suffering, in the tears that soften stone, in the endless forgiving love that brings lightness and warmth into the chaos of life...."
Márya Mikháilovna rose slowly, took a step towards Likharyóff, and set her eyes piercingly upon his face. By the tears which sparkled on his eyelashes, by the trembling, passionate voice, by the flushed cheeks, she saw at a glance that women were not the accidental theme of his conversation. No, they were the object of his new infatuation, or, as he had put it, of his new belief. For the first time in her life she saw before her a man in the ecstacy of a burning, prophetic faith. Gesticulating—rolling his eyes, he seemed insane and ecstatical; but in the fire of his eyes, in the torrent of his words, in all the movements of his gigantic body, she saw only such beauty, that, herself not knowing what she did, she stood silently before him as if rooted to the ground, and looked with rapture into his face.
Márya Mikháilovna slowly got up, stepped towards Likharyóff, and fixed her intense gaze on his face. By the tears glistening on his eyelashes, by his trembling, passionate voice, and by his flushed cheeks, she instantly realized that women were not just a random topic in his conversation. No, they were the focus of his new obsession, or, as he called it, his new belief. For the first time in her life, she saw a man in the ecstasy of a deep, prophetic faith before her. Gesticulating and rolling his eyes, he seemed either insane or ecstatic; yet in the fire of his eyes, in the torrent of his words, and in all the movements of his massive body, she saw such beauty that, without knowing what she was doing, she stood silently before him as if glued to the ground, gazing at him in rapture.
"Take my mother, for example!" he said, with an imploring look, stretching out his arms to her. "I poisoned her life, I disgraced in her eyes the race of Likharyóff, I brought her only such evil as is brought by the bitterest foe, and ... what? My brothers give her odd kopecks for wafers and collections, and she, violating her religious feeling, hoards up those kopecks, and sends them secretly to me! Such deeds as this educate and ennoble the soul more than all your theories, subtle phrases, thirty-five thousand species!... But I might give you a thousand instances! Take your own case! Outside storm and darkness, yet through storm and darkness and cold, you drive, fearless, to your father and brother, that their holidays may be warmed by your caresses, although they, it may well be, have forgotten your existence. But wait! The day will come when you will learn to love a man, and you will go after him to the North Pole.... You would go!"
"Take my mom, for instance!" he said, with a pleading expression, reaching out his arms to her. "I ruined her life, I shamed the Likharyóff family in her eyes, I brought her nothing but the kind of pain that comes from the worst enemy, and… what? My brothers give her spare change for snacks and donations, and she, going against her beliefs, saves up those coins and secretly sends them to me! Acts like this teach and elevate the soul more than all your theories, fancy words, thirty-five thousand categories!... But I could give you a thousand examples! Look at yourself! Outside, there’s storm and darkness, yet through storm and darkness and cold, you drive, fearless, to your father and brother, so that their holidays can be brightened by your love, even though they might have forgotten you exist. But just wait! The day will come when you’ll fall in love with a man, and you’ll chase after him to the North Pole… You would go!"
"Yes ... if I loved him."
"Yeah ... if I loved him."
"You see!" rejoiced Likharyóff, stamping his feet. "Oh, God, how happy I am to have met you here! ... Such has always been my good fortune ... everywhere I meet with kind acquaintances. Not a day passes that I do not meet some man for whom I would give my own soul! In this world there are many more good people than evil! Already you and I have spoken frankly and out of the heart, as if we had known one another a thousand years. It is possible for a man to live his own life, to keep silent for ten years, to be reticent with his own wife and friends, and then some day suddenly he meets a cadet in a railway carriage, and reveals to him his whole soul. ... You ... I have the honour to see you for the first time, but I have confessed myself as I never did before. Why?"
"You see!" Likharyóff exclaimed, stamping his feet joyfully. "Oh, God, I’m so happy to have run into you here! ... I've always had such good luck ... everywhere I go, I meet kind people. Not a day goes by without meeting someone I would give my own soul for! There are way more good people in this world than bad! Already, you and I have talked openly and from the heart, as if we’ve known each other for a thousand years. It's possible for someone to live their own life, to stay silent for ten years, to be reserved with their own wife and friends, and then one day suddenly he meets a young officer in a train carriage and reveals his whole soul. ... You ... I have the honor of meeting you for the first time, but I’ve opened up like never before. Why?"
Likharyóff rubbed his hands and smiled gaily. Then he walked up and down the room and talked again of women. The church bell chimed for the morning service.
Likharyóff rubbed his hands and smiled cheerfully. Then he paced around the room and talked again about women. The church bell rang for the morning service.
"Heavens!" wept Sasha. "He won't let me sleep with his talk!"
"Heavens!" cried Sasha. "He won't let me sleep with all his talking!"
"Akh, yes!" stammered Likharyóff. "Forgive me, darling. Sleep, sleep.... In addition to her, I have two boys," he whispered. "They live with their uncle, but she cannot bear to be a day without her father.... Suffers, grumbles, but sticks to me as a fly to honey. ... But I have been talking nonsense, mademoiselle, and have prevented you also from sleeping. Shall I make your bed?"
"Akh, yes!" Likharyóff stammered. "Forgive me, darling. Sleep, sleep.... Besides her, I have two boys," he whispered. "They live with their uncle, but she can’t stand being a single day without her dad.... She suffers, complains, but clings to me like a fly to honey. ... But I've been rambling, mademoiselle, and I’ve kept you from sleeping too. Should I make your bed?"
Without waiting for an answer, he shook out the wet cloak, and stretched it on the bench with the fur on top, picked up the scattered mufflers and shawls, and rolled the ulster into a pillow—all this silently, with an expression of servile adoration, as though he were dealing not with women's rags, but with fragments of holy vessels. His whole figure seemed-to express guilt and confusion, as if in the presence of such a tiny being he were ashamed of his height and strength....
Without waiting for a response, he shook out the wet cloak and laid it on the bench with the fur side up, picked up the scattered mufflers and shawls, and rolled the ulster into a pillow—all this silently, with a look of subservient admiration, as if he were handling not women's items, but pieces of sacred artifacts. His entire posture seemed to convey guilt and confusion, as if being around such a small person made him feel embarrassed about his height and strength...
When Mdlle. Ilováisky had lain down he extinguished the candle, and sat on a stool near the stove....
When Mdlle. Ilováisky settled down, she blew out the candle and sat on a stool by the stove....
"Yes," he whispered, smoking a thick cigarette, and puffing the smoke into the stove. "Nature has set in every Russian an enquiring mind, a tendency to speculation, and extraordinary capacity for belief; but all these are broken into dust against our improvidence, indolence, and fantastic triviality...."
"Yeah," he whispered, smoking a thick cigarette and blowing the smoke into the stove. "Nature has given every Russian a curious mind, a tendency to speculate, and an amazing ability to believe; but all of this is shattered by our carelessness, laziness, and ridiculous triviality...."
Márya Mikháilovna looked in astonishment into the darkness, but she could see only the red spot on the ikon, and the quivering glare from the stove on Likharyóff's face. The darkness, the clang of the church bells, the roar of the storm, the limping boy, peevish Sasha and unhappy Likharyóff—all these mingled, fused in one great impression, and the whole of God's world seemed to her fantastic, full of mystery and magical forces. The words of Likharyóff resounded in her ears, and human life seemed to her a lovely, poetical fairy-tale, to which there was no end.
Márya Mikháilovna stared in disbelief into the darkness, but all she could see was the red spot on the icon and the flickering glow from the stove on Likharyóff's face. The darkness, the sound of the church bells, the howling storm, the limping boy, the whining Sasha, and the troubled Likharyóff—all of these blended together into one overwhelming impression, making the entire world feel fantastical, filled with mystery and magical forces. Likharyóff's words echoed in her mind, and human life felt like a beautiful, poetic fairy tale with no end in sight.
The great impression grew and grew, until it absorbed all consciousness and was transformed into a sweet sleep. Mdlle. Ilováisky slept. But in sleep she continued to see the lamp, and the thick nose with the red light dancing upon it. She was awakened by a cry.
The overwhelming feeling intensified until it consumed all awareness and turned into a blissful sleep. Mdlle. Ilováisky was asleep. Yet even in her dreams, she still saw the lamp and the thick nose with the red light flickering on it. She was jolted awake by a scream.
"Papa, dear," tenderly implored a child's voice. "Let us go back to uncle's! There is a Christmas tree. Stepa and Kolya are there!"
"Papa, please," a child's voice said softly. "Can we go back to uncle's? There's a Christmas tree. Stepa and Kolya are there!"
"What can I do, darling?" reasoned a soft, male bass. "Try and understand me...."
"What can I do, sweetheart?" a gentle male voice said. "Please try to understand me...."
And to the child's crying was added the man's. The cry of this double misery breaking through the howl of the storm, touched upon the ears of the girl with such soft, human music, that she could not withstand the emotion, and wept also. And she listened as the great black shadow walked across the room, lifted up the fallen shawl and wrapped it round her feet.
And along with the child's crying was the man's. The sound of this double misery cutting through the roar of the storm reached the girl's ears with such gentle, human music that she couldn't hold back her emotions and started to cry too. She listened as the big dark figure moved across the room, picked up the fallen shawl, and wrapped it around her feet.
Awakened again by a strange roar, she sprang up and looked around her. Through the windows, covered half-way up in snow, gleamed the blue dawn. The room itself was full of a grey twilight, through which she could see the stove, the sleeping girl, and Nasr Edin. The lamp and stove had both gone out. Through the wide-opened door of the room could be seen the public hall of the inn with its tables and benches. A man with a blunt, gipsy face and staring eyes stood in the middle of the room in a pool of melted snow, and held up a stick with a red star on the top. Around him was a throng of boys, immovable as statues, and covered with snow. The light of the star, piercing though its red paper covering, flushed their wet faces. The crowd roared in discord, and out of their roar Mdlle. Ilováisky understood only one quatrain:—
Awakened again by a strange roar, she jumped up and looked around. Through the windows, half-covered in snow, the blue dawn shimmered. The room was filled with a gray twilight, through which she could see the stove, the sleeping girl, and Nasr Edin. The lamp and stove had both gone out. The wide-open door of the room revealed the public hall of the inn with its tables and benches. A man with a blunt, gypsy face and wide eyes stood in the middle of the room, in a puddle of melted snow, holding up a stick with a red star on top. Surrounding him was a group of boys, frozen like statues and covered in snow. The light of the star, shining through its red paper covering, highlighted their wet faces. The crowd roared in disarray, and from their noise, Mdlle. Ilováisky could only make out one quatrain:—
"Hey, boy, bold and fearless,
Take a knife sharp and shiny.
Come, kill and kill the Jew,
The sorrowing son ..."
"Hey, young man, confident and brave,
Grab a knife that's sharp and bright.
Come on, let's take down the Jew,
The grieving son ..."
At the counter stood Likharyóff, looking with emotion at the singers, and tramping his feet in time. Seeing Márya Mikháilovna he smiled broadly, and entered the room. She also smiled.
At the counter stood Likharyóff, watching the singers with emotion, tapping his feet to the rhythm. When he spotted Márya Mikháilovna, he grinned widely and walked into the room. She also smiled.
"Congratulations!" he said. "I see you have slept well."
"Congratulations!" he said. "I see you slept well."
Mdlle. Ilováisky looked at him silently, and continued to smile.
Mdlle. Ilováisky looked at him without saying anything, and kept smiling.
After last night's conversation he seemed to her no monger tall and broad-shouldered, but a little man. A big steamer seems small to those who have crossed the ocean.
After last night's conversation, he didn't seem tall and broad-shouldered to her anymore; he seemed like a little man. A big ship feels small to those who have crossed the ocean.
"It is time for me to go," she said. "I must get ready. Tell me, where are you going to?"
"It’s time for me to leave," she said. "I need to get ready. Can you tell me where you’re headed?"
"I? First to Klinushka station, thence to Siergievo, and from Sergievo a drive of forty versts to the coalmines of a certain General Shashkovsky. My brothers have got me a place as manager.... I will dig coal."
"I? First to Klinushka station, then to Siergievo, and from Sergievo a drive of forty versts to the coal mines of a certain General Shashkovsky. My brothers have arranged a job for me as manager... I will dig coal."
"Allow me ... I know these mines. Shashkovsky is my uncle. But ... why are you going there?" asked Márya Mikháilovna in surprise.
"Let me ... I know these mines. Shashkovsky is my uncle. But ... why are you going there?" Márya Mikháilovna asked in surprise.
"As manager. I am to manage the mines."
"As manager, I am responsible for overseeing the mines."
"I don't understand." She shrugged her shoulders. "You say you are going to these mines. Do you know what that means? Do you know that it is all bare steppe, that there is not a soul near ... that the tedium is such that you could not live there a single day? The coal is bad, nobody buys it, and my uncle is a maniac, a despot, a bankrupt.... He will not even pay your salary."
"I don't get it." She shrugged. "You say you're going to these mines. Do you even know what that means? Do you realize it's just wide-open steppe, with no one around... that it's so boring you couldn't stand being there for a single day? The coal is low quality, no one buys it, and my uncle is a lunatic, a dictator, a failure... He won't even pay you."
"It is the same," said Likharyóff indifferently. "Even for the mines, thanks!"
"It’s the same," Likharyóff said casually. "Even for the mines, thanks!"
Mdlle. Ilováisky again shrugged her shoulders, and walked up and down the room in agitation. "I cannot understand, I cannot understand," she said, moving her fingers before her face. "This is inconceivable ... it is madness. Surely you must realise that this ... it is worse than exile. It is a grave for a living man. Akh, heavens!" she said passionately, approaching Likharyóff and moving her fingers before his smiling face. Her upper lip trembled, and her stinging face grew pale. "Imagine it, a bare steppe ... and solitude. Not a soul to say a word to ... and you ... infatuated with women! Mines and women!"
Mdlle. Ilováisky shrugged her shoulders again and paced the room in distress. "I just can’t understand, I can’t understand," she said, waving her fingers in front of her face. "This is unbelievable... it’s madness. Surely you must realize that this... it’s worse than exile. It’s a grave for a living person. Oh, heavens!" she exclaimed passionately, stepping closer to Likharyóff and waving her fingers in front of his smiling face. Her upper lip quivered, and her flushed face turned pale. "Picture it, a vast steppe... and isolation. Not a single soul to speak to... and you... obsessed with women! Mines and women!"
Mdlle. Ilováisky seemed ashamed of her warmth, and, turning away from Likharyóff, went over to the window.
Mdlle. Ilováisky appeared embarrassed by her warmth, and, turning away from Likharyóff, walked over to the window.
"No ... no ... you cannot go there!" she said, rubbing her finger down the window-pane. Not only through her head, but through her whole body ran a feeling that here behind her stood an unhappy, forsaken, perishing man. But he, as if unconscious of his misery, as if he had not wept the night before, looked at her and smiled good-humouredly. It would have been better if he had continued to cry. For a few minutes in agitation she walked up and down the room, and then stopped in the corner and began to think. Likharyóff said something, but she did not hear him. Turning her back to him, she took a credit note from her purse, smoothed it in her hand, and then, looking at him, blushed and thrust it into her pocket.
"No... no... you can't go there!" she said, rubbing her finger down the windowpane. A feeling ran through her entire body that an unhappy, abandoned, dying man stood behind her. But he, as if unaware of his own misery, as if he hadn't cried the night before, looked at her and smiled warmly. It would have been better if he had kept crying. For a few minutes, agitated, she walked back and forth in the room, then stopped in the corner and began to think. Likharyóff said something, but she didn't hear him. Turning away from him, she took a credit note from her purse, smoothed it in her hand, and then, looking at him, blushed and stuffed it into her pocket.
Outside the inn resounded the coachman's voice. Silently, with a severe, concentrated expression, Mdlle. Ilováisky began to put on her wraps. Likharyóff rolled her up in them, and chattered gaily. But every word caused her intolerable pain. It is not pleasant to listen to the jests of the wretched or dying.
Outside the inn, the coachman's voice echoed. Quietly, with a serious, focused look, Mdlle. Ilováisky started to put on her wraps. Likharyóff wrapped her up in them and chatted cheerfully. But every word brought her unbearable pain. It’s not easy to listen to the jokes of the miserable or the dying.
When the transformation of a living woman into a formless bundle was complete, Mdlle. Ilováisky, looked for the last time around "The Traveller," stood silent a moment, and then went out slowly. Likharyóff escorted her.
When the change of a living woman into a shapeless mass was finished, Mdlle. Ilováisky looked around "The Traveller" one last time, stood still for a moment, and then left slowly. Likharyóff accompanied her.
Outside, God alone knows why, the storm still raged. Great clouds of big, soft snowflakes restlessly whirled over the ground, finding no abiding place. Horses, sledge, trees, the bull tethered to the post—all were white, and seemed made of down.
Outside, for reasons only God knows, the storm continued to rage. Huge clouds of soft snowflakes swirled restlessly over the ground, failing to settle anywhere. Horses, sledges, trees, and the bull tied to the post—all were covered in white and looked like they were made of down.
"Well, God bless you!" stammered Likharyóff, as he helped Márya Mikháilovna into the sledge. "Don't think ill of me!"
"Well, God bless you!" Likharyóff stammered as he assisted Márya Mikháilovna into the sledge. "Please don’t think poorly of me!"
Mdlle. Ilováisky said nothing. When the sledge started and began to circle round a great snowdrift, she looked at Likharyóff as if she wished to say something. Likharyóff ran up to the sledge, but she said not a word, and only gazed at him through her long eyelashes to which the snowflakes already clung.
Mdlle. Ilováisky said nothing. When the sled started and began to circle around a huge snowdrift, she looked at Likharyóff as if she wanted to say something. Likharyóff ran up to the sled, but she didn’t say a word and just gazed at him through her long eyelashes, which were already covered in snowflakes.
Whether it be that his sensitive mind read this glance aright, or whether, as it may have been, that his imagination led him astray, it suddenly struck him that but a little more and this girl would have forgiven him his age, his failures, his misfortunes, and followed him, neither questioning nor reasoning, to the ends of the earth. For a long time he stood as if rooted to the spot, and gazed at the track left by the sledge-runners. The snowflakes settled swiftly on his hair, his beard, his shoulders. But soon the traces of the sledge-runners vanished, and he, covered with snow, began to resemble a white boulder, his eyes all the time continuing to search for something through the clouds of snow.
Whether his sensitive mind interpreted her glance correctly, or if his imagination misled him, it suddenly occurred to him that if things had gone a bit differently, this girl might have overlooked his age, his failures, and his misfortunes, following him without questions or doubts to the ends of the earth. He stood there for a long time, seemingly frozen in place, staring at the path left by the sledge runners. Snowflakes quickly landed on his hair, beard, and shoulders. But soon, the marks of the sledge runners disappeared, and he, covered in snow, began to look like a white boulder, his eyes still searching for something through the swirling snow.
A FAMILY COUNCIL
To prevent the skeleton in the Uskoff family cup-board escaping into the street, the most rigorous measures were taken. One half of the servants was packed off to the theatre and circus, and the other half sat imprisoned in the kitchen. Orders were given to admit no one. The wife of the culprit's uncle, her sister, and the governess, although initiated into the mystery, pretended that they knew nothing whatever about it; they sat silently in the dining-room, and dared not show their faces in the drawing-room or hall. Sasha Uskoff, aged twenty-five, the cause of all this upheaval, arrived some time ago; and on the advice of kind-hearted Ivan Markovitch, his maternal uncle, sat demurely in the corridor outside the study door, and prepared himself for sincere, open-hearted confession. On the other side of the door the family council was being held. The discussion ran on a ticklish and very disagreeable subject. The facts of the matter were as follows. Sasha Uskoff had discounted at a bankers a forged bill of exchange, the term of which expired three days before; and now his two paternal uncles, and Ivan Markovitch, an uncle on his mother's side, were discussing the solemn problem: should the money be paid and the family honour saved, or should they wash their hands of the whole matter, and leave the law to take its course?
To keep the skeleton in the Uskoff family closet from getting out into the street, strict measures were put in place. Half of the servants were sent off to the theater and circus, while the other half remained locked in the kitchen. No one was allowed to enter. The wife of the culprit's uncle, her sister, and the governess, despite being aware of the situation, acted like they knew nothing at all; they sat quietly in the dining room and didn’t dare to show their faces in the drawing room or hallway. Sasha Uskoff, who was twenty-five years old and the reason for this turmoil, had arrived a while ago; following the advice of kind-hearted Ivan Markovitch, his maternal uncle, he sat quietly in the corridor outside the study door, preparing for a sincere, heartfelt confession. On the other side of the door, the family council was meeting. The conversation revolved around a sensitive and very uncomfortable topic. The situation was as follows: Sasha Uskoff had discounted a forged bill of exchange at a bank, which had expired three days earlier; now his two paternal uncles and Ivan Markovitch, an uncle on his mother's side, were debating the serious question: should they pay the money to protect the family’s reputation, or should they wash their hands of it all and let the law handle it?
To people unconcerned and uninterested such questions seem very trivial, but for those with whom the solution lies they are extraordinarily complex. The three uncles had already had their say, yet the matter had not advanced a step.
To those who don’t care or are uninterested, such questions may seem very trivial, but for those who need to find a solution, they are incredibly complex. The three uncles had already voiced their opinions, but the issue hadn’t moved forward at all.
"Heavens!" cried the Colonel, a paternal uncle, in a voice betraying both weariness and irritation. "Heavens! who said that family honour was a prejudice? I never said anything of the kind. I only wanted to save you from looking at the matter from a false standpoint—to point out how easily you may make an irremediable mistake. Yet you don't seem to understand me! I suppose I am speaking Russian, not Chinese!"
"Heavens!" exclaimed the Colonel, a paternal uncle, in a voice that showed both exhaustion and annoyance. "Heavens! Who said that family honor is just a bias? I never claimed that. I just wanted to keep you from viewing the situation in a misleading way—to highlight how easily you could make a mistake that's impossible to fix. Yet you still don’t seem to get what I’m saying! I guess I'm speaking Russian, not Chinese!"
"My dear fellow, we understand you perfectly," interposed Ivan Markovitch soothingly.
"My dear friend, we understand you completely," Ivan Markovitch said reassuringly.
"Then why do you say that I deny family honour? I repeat what I have said! Fam—ily hon—our falsely under—stood is a pre—ju—dice! Falsely under—stood, mind you! That is my point of view. From any conviction whatever, to screen and leave unpunished a rascal, no matter who he is, is both contrary to law and unworthy of an honourable man. It is not the saving of the family honour, but civic cowardice. Take the Army, for example! The honour of the Army is dearer to a soldier than any other honour. But we do not screen our guilty members ... we judge them! Do you imagine that the honour of the Army suffers thereby? On the contrary!"
"Then why do you say that I deny family honor? I repeat what I’ve said! Family honor, when misunderstood, is a prejudice! Misunderstood, mind you! That’s my point. To protect and leave unpunished a wrongdoer, no matter who it is, goes against the law and is unworthy of an honorable person. It’s not about saving family honor; it’s about civic cowardice. Take the Army, for instance! A soldier values the honor of the Army more than any other honor. But we don’t cover for our guilty members ... we hold them accountable! Do you think the Army’s honor suffers because of this? Quite the opposite!"
The other paternal uncle, an official of the Crown Council, a rheumatic, taciturn, and not very intelligent man, held his peace all the time, or spoke only of the fact that if the matter came into court the name of the Uskoffs would appear in the newspapers; in his opinion, therefore, to avoid publicity it would be better to hush up the matter while there was still time. But with the exception of this reference to the newspapers, he gave no reason for his opinion.
The other uncle, an official in the Crown Council, was a quiet, rheumatic man who wasn’t very bright. He kept to himself most of the time or only mentioned that if this went to court, the Uskoffs' name would make headlines. In his view, it was best to keep things under wraps while they still could. However, aside from bringing up the newspapers, he didn’t offer any further justification for his opinion.
But kind-hearted Ivan Markovitch, the maternal uncle, spoke fluently and softly with a tremula in his voice. He began with the argument that youth has its claims and its peculiar temptations. Which of us was not once young, and which of us did not sometimes go a step too far? Even leaving aside ordinary mortals, did not history teach that the greatest minds in youth were not always able to avoid infatuations and mistakes. Take for instance the biographies of great writers. What one of them did not gamble and drink, and draw upon himself the condemnation of all right-minded men? While on the one hand we remembered that Sasha's errors had overstepped the boundary into crime, on the other we must take into account that Sasha hardly received any education; he was expelled from the gymnasium when in the fifth form; he lost his parents in early childhood, and thus at the most susceptible age was deprived of control and all beneficent influences. He was a nervous boy, easily excited, without any naturally strong moral convictions, and he had been spoiled by happiness. Even if he were guilty, still he deserved the sympathy and concern of all sympathetic souls. Punished, of course, he must be; but then, had he not already been punished by his conscience, and the tortures which he must now be feeling as he awaited the decision of his relatives. The comparison with the Army which the Colonel had made was very flattering, and did great honour to his generous mind; the appeal to social feelings showed the nobility of his heart. But it must not be forgotten that the member of society in every individual was closely bound up with the Christian.
But kind-hearted Ivan Markovitch, the maternal uncle, spoke smoothly and softly with a tremor in his voice. He started by saying that youth has its challenges and its specific temptations. Who among us hasn't been young and hasn't sometimes crossed the line? Even setting aside ordinary people, history shows that even the greatest minds weren't always able to avoid infatuations and mistakes in their youth. Take the biographies of great writers, for example. Which of them didn’t gamble or drink, earning the scorn of all decent people? While we acknowledged that Sasha’s mistakes had crossed into criminal territory, we also had to consider that he hardly received any education; he was expelled from school in fifth grade, lost his parents at a young age, and so at the most impressionable time, he was deprived of guidance and positive influences. He was an anxious boy, easily stirred up, without strong moral beliefs, and he had been spoiled by happiness. Even if he was guilty, he still deserved the understanding and concern of everyone with compassion. Of course, he must be punished; but hadn't he already been punished by his conscience and the agony he was likely feeling while he awaited his relatives' decision? The comparison the Colonel made to the Army was very flattering and a testament to his generous spirit; the appeal to social feelings highlighted the nobility of his heart. However, we must remember that the sense of being part of society in each individual is deeply intertwined with being Christian.
"And how should we violate our social duty," asked Ivan Markovitch, "if instead of punishing a guilty boy we stretch out to him the hand of mercy?" Then Ivan Markovitch reverted to the question of the family honour. He himself had not the honour to belong to the distinguished family of Uskoff, but he knew very well that that illustrious race dated its origin from the thirteenth century, and he could not forget for a moment that his beloved, unforgotten sister was the wife of a scion of the race. In one word—the Uskoff family was dear to him for many reasons, and he could not for a moment entertain the thought that for a paltry fifteen hundred roubles a shadow should be cast for ever upon the ancestral tree. And if all the arguments already adduced were insufficiently convincing then he, in conclusion, asked his brothers-in-law to explain the problem: What is a crime? A crime was an immoral action, having its impulse in an evil will. So most people thought. But could we affirm that the human will was free to decide? To this important question science could give no conclusive answer. Metaphysicians maintained various divergent theories. For instance, the new school of Lombroso refused to recognise free-will, and held that every crime was the product of purely anatomical peculiarities in the individual.
“And how should we neglect our social duty,” asked Ivan Markovitch, “if instead of punishing a guilty boy, we extend our hand of mercy to him?” Then Ivan Markovitch returned to the issue of family honor. He didn’t belong to the distinguished Uskoff family himself, but he knew that this illustrious lineage traced its roots back to the thirteenth century, and he couldn’t forget for a moment that his beloved, unforgettable sister was married to a member of that family. In short—the Uskoff family held a special place in his heart for many reasons, and he couldn’t even consider the idea that a trivial sum of fifteen hundred roubles would forever tarnish their ancestral legacy. And if all the arguments he had made were not convincing enough, he then asked his brothers-in-law to clarify the issue: What is a crime? A crime is an immoral act driven by malevolent intentions. So most people believed. But could we really say that human will is free to make choices? This crucial question has no definitive answer in science. Metaphysicians proposed various conflicting theories. For example, the new Lombroso school rejected the notion of free will, asserting that every crime is a result of purely anatomical traits in the individual.
"Ivan Markovitch!" interrupted the Colonel imploringly. "Do, for Heaven's sake, talk sense. We are speaking seriously about a serious matter ... and you, about Lombroso! You are a clever man, but think for a moment—how can all this rattle-box rhetoric help us to decide the question?"
"Ivan Markovitch!" the Colonel interrupted urgently. "Please, for Heaven's sake, make some sense. We're having a serious discussion about an important issue... and you’re bringing up Lombroso! You're an intelligent guy, but just think for a second—how is all this noisy talk going to help us make a decision?"
Sasha Uskoff sat outside the door and listened. He felt neither fear nor shame nor tedium—only weariness and spiritual vacuity. He felt that it did not matter a kopeck whether he was forgiven or not; he had come here to await his sentence and to offer a frank explanation, only because he was begged to do so by kindly Ivan Markovitch. He was not afraid of the future. It was all the same to him, here in the corridor, in prison, or in Siberia.
Sasha Uskoff sat outside the door and listened. He felt neither fear nor shame nor boredom—only exhaustion and a sense of emptiness. He thought it didn’t matter at all if he was forgiven; he had come here to wait for his sentence and to give an honest explanation, only because he was urged to do so by kind Ivan Markovitch. He wasn't afraid of what was to come. It was all the same to him, whether he was here in the corridor, in prison, or in Siberia.
"Siberia is only Siberia—the devil take it!"
"Siberia is just Siberia—the hell with it!"
Life has wearied Sasha, and has become insufferably tedious. He is inextricably in debt, he has not a kopeck in his pocket, his relatives have become odious to him; with his friends and with women he must part sooner or later, for they are already beginning to look at him contemptuously as a parasite. The future is dark.
Life has exhausted Sasha and has turned unbearably dull. He is deeply in debt, has not a penny to his name, and finds his relatives unbearable; he will have to cut ties with his friends and women sooner or later, as they are starting to view him with disdain as a freeloader. The future looks bleak.
Sasha, in fact, is indifferent, and only one thing affects him. That is, that through the door he can hear himself being spoken of as a scoundrel and a criminal. All the time he is itching to jump up, burst into the room, and, in answer to the detestable metallic voice of the Colonel, to cry:
Sasha is actually indifferent, and there's only one thing that gets to him. That is, the fact that he can hear himself being called a scoundrel and a criminal through the door. All the while, he feels an urge to jump up, burst into the room, and respond to the annoying, cold voice of the Colonel by shouting:
"You are a liar!"
"You're a liar!"
A criminal—it is a horrid word. It is applied as a rule to murderers, thieves, robbers, and people incorrigibly wicked and morally hopeless. But Sasha is far from this.... True, he is up to his neck in debts, and never attempts to pay them. But then indebtedness is not a crime, and there are very few men who are not in debt. The Colonel and Ivan Markovitch are both in debt.
A criminal—it’s a terrible word. It usually refers to murderers, thieves, robbers, and people who are hopelessly wicked and morally bankrupt. But Sasha is nothing like that…. Sure, he’s drowning in debt and never tries to pay it off. But being in debt isn’t a crime, and there are very few guys who aren’t in the same boat. The Colonel and Ivan Markovitch are both in debt, too.
"What on earth am I guilty of?" asked Sasha. He had obtained money by presenting a forged bill. But this was done by every young man he knew. Khandrikoff and Von Burst, for instance, whenever they wanted money, discounted bills with forged acceptance of their parents and friends, and when their own money came in met them. Sasha did exactly the same thing, and only failed to meet his bill owing to Khandrikoff's failure to lend the money which he had promised. It was not he, but circumstance which was at fault. ... It was true that imitating another man's signature was considered wrong, but that did not make it a crime but merely an ugly formality, a manoeuvre constantly adopted which injured nobody; and Sasha when he forged the Colonel's name had no intention of causing loss to anyone.
"What on earth am I guilty of?" asked Sasha. He had gotten money by presenting a forged bill. But this was something every young man he knew did. Khandrikoff and Von Burst, for instance, whenever they needed cash, would discount bills with fake acceptances from their parents and friends, and when their own money came in, they would settle them. Sasha did the exact same thing and only failed to meet his bill because Khandrikoff didn't lend him the money he promised. It wasn't him; it was just bad luck. ... It was true that copying someone else's signature was considered wrong, but that didn’t make it a crime; it was just an ugly formality, a tactic everyone used that hurt no one. And Sasha, when he forged the Colonel's name, never intended to cause anyone any loss.
"It is absurd to pretend that I have been guilty of a crime," thought Sasha. "I have not the character of men who commit crimes. On the contrary, I am easy-going and sensitive ... when I have money I help the poor...."
"It’s ridiculous to act like I’ve done something wrong," thought Sasha. "I’m not the type of person who commits crimes. Actually, I’m laid-back and empathetic... when I have money, I help those in need..."
While Sasha reasoned thus, the discussion continued on the other side of the door.
While Sasha thought about it, the conversation kept going on the other side of the door.
"But, gentlemen, this is only the beginning!" cried the Colonel. "Suppose, for the sake of argument, that we let him off and pay the money! He will go on still in the same way and continue to lead his unprincipled life. He will indulge in dissipation, run into debt, go to our tailors and order clothes in our names. What guarantee have we that this scandal will be the last? As far as I am concerned, I tell you frankly that I do not believe in his reformation for one moment."
"But, gentlemen, this is just the start!" shouted the Colonel. "Let’s say, for the sake of discussion, that we give him a break and pay the money! He’ll just keep doing the same thing and continue living his morally bankrupt life. He’ll party hard, rack up debt, and go to our tailors to order clothes using our names. What assurance do we have that this scandal will be the last one? To be honest, I don’t believe for a second that he can change."
The official of the Crown Council muttered something in reply. Then Ivan Markovitch began to speak softly and fluently. The Colonel impatiently shifted his chair, and smothered Ivan Markovitch's argument with his detestable, metallic voice. At last the door opened, and out of the study came Ivan Markovitch with red spots on his meagre, clean-shaven face. "Come!" he said, taking Sasha by the arm. "Come in and make an open-hearted confession. Without pride, like a good boy ... humbly and from the heart."
The Crown Council official mumbled something in response. Then Ivan Markovitch started to speak softly and smoothly. The Colonel shifted in his chair, impatient, and cut off Ivan Markovitch's argument with his awful, metallic voice. Finally, the door opened, and Ivan Markovitch stepped out of the study with red spots on his thin, clean-shaven face. "Come on!" he said, grabbing Sasha by the arm. "Come in and confess openly. Without pride, like a good boy... humbly and from the heart."
Sasha went into the study. The official of the Crown Council continued to sit, but the Colonel, hands in pockets, and with one knee resting on his chair, stood before the table. The room was full of smoke and stiflingly hot. Sasha did not look at either the Colonel or his brother, but suddenly feeling ashamed and hurt, glanced anxiously at Ivan Markovitch and muttered:
Sasha entered the study. The Crown Council official remained seated, while the Colonel, with his hands in his pockets and one knee propped up on his chair, stood by the table. The room was filled with smoke and oppressively hot. Sasha avoided looking at the Colonel or his brother but suddenly feeling embarrassed and upset, glanced nervously at Ivan Markovitch and muttered:
"I will pay ... I will give...."
"I'll pay... I'll give..."
"May I ask you on what you relied when you obtained the money on this bill?" rang out the metallic voice.
"Can I ask what you relied on when you got the money for this bill?" the metallic voice echoed.
"I ... Khandrikoff promised to lend me the money in time."
"I ... Khandrikoff promised to lend me the money on time."
Sasha said nothing more. He went out of the study and again sat on the chair outside the door. He would have gone away at once had he not been stifled with hatred and with a desire to tear the Colonel to pieces or at least to insult him to his face. But at this moment in the dim twilight around the dining-room door appeared a woman's figure. It was the Colonel's wife. She beckoned Sasha, and, wringing her hands, said with tears in her voice:
Sasha said nothing else. He left the study and sat again in the chair by the door. He would have left right away if he hadn't been overwhelmed with hatred and a desire to rip the Colonel apart or at least insult him face-to-face. But just then, in the dim twilight by the dining-room door, a woman appeared. It was the Colonel's wife. She signaled for Sasha, and, wringing her hands, said with tears in her voice:
"Alexandre, I know that you do not love me, but ... listen for a moment! My poor boy, how can this have happened P It is awful, awful! For Heaven's sake beg their forgiveness ... justify yourself, implore them!"
"Alexandre, I know you don’t love me, but ... just listen for a moment! My poor boy, how did this happen? It’s terrible, terrible! For heaven’s sake, ask for their forgiveness ... explain yourself, beg them!"
Sasha looked at her twitching shoulders, and at the big tears which flowed down her cheeks; he heard behind him the dull, nervous voices of his exhausted uncles, and shrugged his shoulders. He had never expected that his aristocratic relatives would raise such a storm over a paltry fifteen hundred roubles. And he could understand neither the tears nor the trembling voices.
Sasha watched her shoulders twitch and the big tears streaming down her cheeks; he heard behind him the dull, anxious voices of his tired uncles and shrugged. He never expected his aristocratic relatives to make such a fuss over a measly fifteen hundred rubles. He couldn’t make sense of the tears or the shaky voices.
An hour later he heard indications that the Colonel was gaining the day. The other uncles were being won over to his determination to leave the matter to the law.
An hour later, he heard signs that the Colonel was winning. The other uncles were being convinced to let the law handle the situation.
"It is decided!" said the Colonel stiffly. "Basta!" But having decided thus, the three uncles, even the inexorable Colonel, perceptibly lost heart.
"It’s decided!" said the Colonel stiffly. "Enough!" But after making that decision, the three uncles, including the unyielding Colonel, noticeably lost their confidence.
"Heavens!" sighed Ivan Markovitch. "My poor sister!"
"Heavens!" sighed Ivan Markovitch. "My poor sister!"
And he began in a soft voice to announce his conviction that his sister, Sasha's mother, was invisibly present in the room. He felt in his heart that this unhappy, sainted woman was weeping, anguishing, interceding for her boy. For the sake of her repose in the other world it would have been better to spare Sasha. Sasha heard someone whimpering. It was Ivan Markovitch. He wept and muttered something inaudible through the door. The Colonel rose and walked from corner to corner. The discussion began anew....
And he quietly began to express his belief that his sister, Sasha's mother, was somehow present in the room. He felt deep down that this troubled, saintly woman was crying, suffering, and pleading for her son. For her peace in the afterlife, it would have been better to protect Sasha. Sasha heard someone sobbing. It was Ivan Markovitch. He was crying and mumbling something that couldn’t be heard through the door. The Colonel got up and paced back and forth. The discussion started up again...
The clock in the drawing-room struck two. The council was over at last. The Colonel, to avoid meeting a man who had caused him so much shame, left the room through the antechamber. Ivan Markovitch came into the corridor. He was plainly agitated, but rubbed his hands cheerfully. His tear-stained eyes glanced happily around him, and his mouth was twisted into a smile.
The clock in the living room hit two o'clock. The meeting was finally over. The Colonel, trying to avoid encountering someone who had brought him so much embarrassment, exited through the antechamber. Ivan Markovitch stepped into the hallway. He looked noticeably shaken but was rubbing his hands with a cheerful vibe. His tear-streaked eyes scanned the surroundings happily, and his mouth was curled into a smile.
"It is all right, my boy!" he said to Sasha. "Heaven be praised! You may go home, child, and sleep quietly. We have decided to pay the money, but only on the condition that you repent sincerely, and agree to come with me to the country to-morrow, and set to work."
"It’s all good, my boy!" he said to Sasha. "Thank goodness! You can go home now and sleep peacefully. We’ve decided to pay the money, but only if you truly repent and agree to come with me to the country tomorrow and get to work."
A minute afterwards, Ivan Markovitch and Sasha, having put on their overcoats and hats, went downstairs together. Uncle Ivan muttered something edifying. But Sasha didn't listen; he felt only that something heavy and painful had fallen from his shoulders. He was forgiven—he was free! Joy like a breeze burst into his breast and wrapped his heart with refreshing coolness. He wished to breathe, to move, to live. And looking at the street lamps and at the black sky he remembered that to-day at "The Bear," Von Burst would celebrate his name-day. A new joy seized his soul.
A minute later, Ivan Markovitch and Sasha, having put on their coats and hats, went downstairs together. Uncle Ivan mumbled something meaningful. But Sasha didn’t pay attention; he only felt that something heavy and painful had lifted from his shoulders. He was forgiven—he was free! Joy rushed into his heart like a refreshing breeze. He wanted to breathe, to move, to live. Looking at the streetlights and the dark sky, he remembered that today at "The Bear," Von Burst would celebrate his name day. A new happiness filled his soul.
"I will go!" he decided.
"I'm going!" he decided.
But suddenly he remembered that he had not a kopeck, and that his friends already despised him for his penuriousness. He must get money at all cost. "Uncle, lend me a hundred roubles!" he said to Ivan Markovitch.
But suddenly he remembered that he didn't have a penny, and that his friends already looked down on him for being so cheap. He had to get money by any means necessary. "Uncle, lend me a hundred rubles!" he said to Ivan Markovitch.
Ivan Markovitch looked at him in amazement, and staggered back against a lamp-post.
Ivan Markovitch stared at him in shock and stumbled back against a lamppost.
"Lend me a hundred roubles!" cried Sasha, impatiently shifting from foot to foot, and beginning to lose his temper. "Uncle, I beg of you ... lend me a hundred roubles!"
"Lend me a hundred rubles!" cried Sasha, impatiently shifting from foot to foot and starting to lose his temper. "Uncle, I’m begging you ... lend me a hundred rubles!"
His face trembled with excitement, and he nearly rushed at his uncle.
His face shook with excitement, and he almost ran at his uncle.
"You won't give them?" he cried, seeing that his uncle was too dumfounded to understand. "Listen, if you refuse to lend them, I'll inform on myself to-morrow. I'll refuse to let you pay the money. I'll forge another to-morrow!"
"You won't give them?" he shouted, seeing that his uncle was too shocked to comprehend. "Listen, if you don't lend them, I'll confess everything tomorrow. I'll refuse to let you pay the money. I'll forge another one tomorrow!"
Thunderstruck, terror-stricken, Ivan Markovitch muttered something incoherent, took from his pocket a hundred-rouble note, and handed it silently to Sasha. And Sasha took it and hurriedly walked away. And sitting in a droschky, Sasha grew cool again, and felt his heart expand with renewed joy. The claims of youth of which kind-hearted uncle Ivan had spoken at the council-table had inspired and taken possession of him again. He painted in imagination the coming feast, and in his mind, among visions of bottles, women, and boon companions, twinkled a little thought:
Thunderstruck and terrified, Ivan Markovitch mumbled something unclear, took a hundred-rouble bill from his pocket, and silently handed it to Sasha. Sasha accepted it and quickly walked away. Sitting in a cab, Sasha regained his composure and felt his heart swell with renewed joy. The youthful ambitions that his kind-hearted uncle Ivan had mentioned at the council table inspired him once more. In his imagination, he envisioned the upcoming celebration, and amidst thoughts of bottles, women, and good friends, a little idea sparkled:
"Now I begin to see that I was in the wrong."
"Now I realize that I was mistaken."
AT HOME
"They sent over from Grigorievitch's for some book, but I said that you were not at home. The postman has brought the newspapers and two letters. And, Yevgéniï Petróvitch, I really must ask you to do something in regard to Serózha. I caught him smoking the day before yesterday, and again to-day. When I began to scold him, in his usual way he put his hands over his ears, and shouted so us to drown my voice."
"They sent over from Grigorievitch's for a book, but I told them you weren't home. The postman brought the newspapers and two letters. And, Yevgéniï Petróvitch, I really need you to do something about Serózha. I caught him smoking the day before yesterday, and again today. When I started to scold him, he did his usual thing of covering his ears and shouting to drown out my voice."
Yevgéniï Petróvitch Buikovsky, Procurer of the District Court, who had only just returned from the Session House and was taking off his gloves in his study, looked for a moment at the complaining governess and laughed:
Yevgeny Petrovich Buikovsky, the District Court Prosecutor, had just come back from the Session House and was removing his gloves in his study. He glanced at the complaining governess and laughed.
"Serózha smoking!" He shrugged his shoulders. "I can imagine that whipper-snapper with a cigarette! How old is he?"
"Serózha smoking!" He shrugged his shoulders. "I can picture that little brat with a cigarette! How old is he?"
"Seven. Of course you may not take it seriously, but at his age smoking is a bad and injurious habit, and bad habits should be rooted out in their beginning."
"Seven. You might not think much of it, but at his age, smoking is a harmful and unhealthy habit, and bad habits should be eliminated right from the start."
"Very true. But where does he get the tobacco?"
"That's true. But where does he get the tobacco?"
"On your table."
"On your table."
"On my table! Ask him to come here."
"On my table! Tell him to come over here."
When the governess left the room, Buikovsky sat in his armchair in front of his desk, shut his eyes, and began to think. He pictured in imagination his Serózha with a gigantic cigarette a yard long, surrounded by clouds of tobacco smoke. The caricature made him laugh in spite of himself; but at the same time the serious, worried face of his governess reminded him of a time, now long passed by, a half-forgotten time, when smoking in the schoolroom or nursery inspired in teachers and parents a strange and not quite comprehensible horror. No other word but horror would describe it. The culprits were mercilessly flogged, expelled from school, their lives marred, and this, although not one of the schoolmasters or parents could say what precisely constitutes the danger and guilt of smoking. Even very intelligent men did not hesitate to fight a vice which they did not understand. Yevgéniï Petróvitch remembered the director of his own school, a benevolent and highly educated old man, who was struck with such terror when he caught a boy with a cigarette that he became pale, immediately convoked an extraordinary council of masters, and condemned the offender to expulsion. Such indeed appears to be the law of life; the more intangible the evil the more fiercely and mercilessly is it combated.
When the governess left the room, Buikovsky sat in his armchair in front of his desk, shut his eyes, and started to think. He imagined his Serózha with a giant cigarette a yard long, surrounded by clouds of tobacco smoke. The image made him laugh despite himself; but at the same time, the serious, worried expression of his governess reminded him of a time long gone, a half-forgotten era, when smoking in the classroom or nursery stirred a strange and somewhat incomprehensible horror in teachers and parents. No other word but horror could describe it. The offenders were harshly punished, expelled from school, their lives ruined, and this happened even though none of the teachers or parents could explain exactly what made smoking so dangerous or wrong. Even very intelligent people didn’t hesitate to battle a vice they didn’t understand. Yevgéniï Petróvitch recalled the head of his school, a kind and highly educated old man, who was so terrified when he caught a boy smoking that he turned pale, immediately called an emergency meeting of the teachers, and condemned the boy to expulsion. This seems to be the rule of life; the more elusive the evil, the more fiercely and mercilessly it is fought against.
The Procurer remembered two or three cases of expulsion, and recalling the subsequent lives of the victims, he could not but conclude that such punishment was often a much greater evil than the vice itself.... But the animal organism is gifted with capacity to adapt itself rapidly, to accustom itself to changes, to different atmospheres, otherwise every man would feel that his rational actions were based upon an irrational foundation, and that there was little reasoned truth and conviction even in such responsibilities—responsibilities terrible in their results—as those of the schoolmaster, and lawyer, the writer....
The Procurer remembered a couple of cases of expulsion, and thinking about what happened to the victims afterward, he couldn’t help but conclude that this punishment was often a much bigger problem than the offense itself.... But the human body has an amazing ability to adapt quickly, to get used to changes and different environments; otherwise, everyone would realize that their rational thoughts were built on an irrational foundation, and that there was little logical truth and conviction even in serious responsibilities—responsibilities that had terrible consequences—like those of a teacher, a lawyer, or a writer....
And such thoughts, light and inconsequential, which enter only a tired and resting brain, wandered about in Yevgéniï Petróvitch's head; they spring no one knows where or why, vanish soon, and, it would seem, wander only on the outskirts of the brain without penetrating far. For men who are obliged for whole hours, even for whole days, to think official thoughts all in the same direction, such free, domestic speculations are an agreeable comfort.
And those light and inconsequential thoughts that come to a tired and resting mind floated around in Yevgéniï Petróvitch's head; they appear from nowhere and for no reason, disappear quickly, and, it seems, roam only at the edges of the mind without going very deep. For people who have to spend hours or even whole days thinking rigid official thoughts in the same direction, these free and personal musings are a nice relief.
It was nine o'clock. Overhead from the second story came the footfalls of someone walking from corner to corner; and still higher, on the third story, someone was playing scales. The footsteps of the man who, judging by his walk, was thinking tensely or suffering from toothache, and the monotonous scales in the evening stillness, combined to create a drowsy atmosphere favourable to idle thoughts. From the nursery came the voices of Serózha and his governess.
It was nine o'clock. Above on the second floor, someone was pacing back and forth; and even higher, on the third floor, someone was practicing scales. The footsteps of a man who, judging by his stride, seemed to be deep in thought or dealing with a toothache, along with the repetitive scales in the evening quiet, created a sleepy vibe perfect for daydreaming. From the nursery, the voices of Serózha and his governess could be heard.
"Papa has come?" cried the boy, "Papa has co-o-me! Papa! papa!"
"Is Dad here?" the boy shouted. "Dad is he-e-re! Dad! Dad!"
"Votre père vous appelle, allez vite," cried the governess, piping like a frightened bird.... "Do you hear?"
"Your father is calling you, hurry up," cried the governess, sounding like a scared bird.... "Do you hear?"
"What shall I say to him?" thought Yevgéniï Petróvitch.
"What should I say to him?" thought Yevgéniï Petróvitch.
And before he had decided what to say, in came his son Serózha, a boy of seven years old. He was one of those little boys whose sex can be distinguished only by their clothes—weakly, pale-faced, delicate.... Everything about him seemed tender and soft; his movements, his curly hair, his looks, his velvet jacket.
And before he could decide what to say, his son Serózha came in, a seven-year-old boy. He was one of those kids whose gender can only be identified by their clothes—fragile, pale, and delicate.... Everything about him seemed gentle and soft: his movements, his curly hair, his expression, his velvet jacket.
"Good evening, papa," he began in a soft voice, climbing on his father's knee, and kissing his neck. "You wanted me?"
"Good evening, dad," he started in a gentle voice, climbing onto his father's lap and kissing his neck. "Did you want to talk to me?"
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, Sergéï Yevgénitch," answered the Procuror, pushing him off. "Before I allow you to kiss me I want to talk to you, and to talk seriously.... I am very angry with you, and do not love you any more ... understand that, brother; I do not love you, and you are not my son.... No!"
"Hold on a second, hold on a second, Sergéï YevgénITCH," the Procuror replied, pushing him away. "Before I let you kiss me, I need to talk to you, and it’s going to be serious.... I'm really upset with you, and I don't love you anymore ... get that, brother; I don’t love you, and you're not my son.... No!"
Serózha looked earnestly at his father, turned his eyes on to the chair, and shrugged his shoulders.
Serózha looked seriously at his dad, glanced over at the chair, and shrugged his shoulders.
"What have I done?" he asked in doubt, twitching his eyes. "I have not been in your study all day and touched nothing."
"What have I done?" he asked uncertainly, twitching his eyes. "I haven't been in your study all day and haven't touched anything."
"Natálya Semiónovna has just been complaining to me that she caught you smoking.... Is it true? Do you smoke?"
"Natálya Semiónovna just told me that she saw you smoking... Is that true? Do you smoke?"
"Yes, I smoked once, father.... It is true."
"Yeah, I smoked once, Dad... It's true."
"There, you see, you tell lies also," said the Procurer, frowning, and trying at the same time to smother a smile. "Natálya Semiónovna saw you smoking twice. That is to say, you are found out in three acts of misconduct—you smoke, you take another person's tobacco, and you lie. Three faults!"
"There, you see, you’re lying too," said the Procurer, frowning while trying to hold back a smile. "Natálya Semiónovna caught you smoking twice. In other words, you've been caught in three wrongdoings—you smoke, you take someone else's tobacco, and you lie. Three offenses!"
"Akh, yes," remembered Serózha, with smiling eyes. "It is true. I smoked twice—to-day and once before."
"Akh, yes," Serózha recalled, his eyes smiling. "It's true. I smoked twice—today and once before."
"That is to say you smoked not once but twice. I am very, very displeased with you! You used to be a good boy, but now I see you are spoiled and have become naughty."
"That means you smoked not just once, but twice. I’m very, very upset with you! You used to be a good kid, but now I see you’re spoiled and have become bad."
Yevgéniï Petróvitch straightened Serózha's collar, and thought: "What else shall I say to him?"
Yevgéniï Petróvitch adjusted Serózha's collar and thought, "What else should I say to him?"
"It is very bad," he continued. "I did not expect this from you. In the first place you have no right to go to another person's table and take tobacco which does not belong to you. A man has a right to enjoy only his own property, and if he takes another's then he is a wicked man." (This is not the way to go about it, thought the Procuror.) "For instance, Natálya Semiónovna has a boxful of dresses. That is her box, and we have not, that is neither you nor I have, any right to touch it, as it is not ours.... Isn't that plain? You have your horses and pictures ... I do not take them. Perhaps I have often felt that I wanted to take them ... but they are yours, not mine!"
"It’s really bad," he continued. "I didn’t expect this from you. First of all, you have no right to go to someone else's table and take tobacco that doesn’t belong to you. A person should only enjoy their own belongings, and if they take someone else's, then they're a terrible person." (This is not the way to handle it, thought the Procuror.) "For example, Natálya Semiónovna has a box full of dresses. That’s her box, and neither you nor I have any right to touch it since it’s not ours... Isn’t that obvious? You have your horses and paintings... I don’t touch them. Maybe I’ve often wanted to take them... but they’re yours, not mine!"
"Please, father, take them if you like," said Serózha, raising his eyebrows. "Always take anything of mine, father. This yellow dog which is on your table is mine, but I don't mind...."
"Please, Dad, take them if you want," said Serózha, raising his eyebrows. "You can always take anything of mine, Dad. This yellow dog on your table belongs to me, but I don't mind...."
"You don't understand me," said Buikovsky. "The dog you gave me, it is now mine, and I can do with it what I like; but the tobacco I did not give to you. The tobacco is mine." (How can I make him understand? thought the Procurer. Not in this way). "If I feel that I want to smoke someone else's tobacco I first of all ask for permission...."
"You don't get me," Buikovsky said. "The dog you gave me is mine now, and I can do whatever I want with it; but the tobacco, I didn't give to you. The tobacco is mine." (How can I make him understand? thought the Procurer. Not like this). "If I want to smoke someone else's tobacco, I always ask for permission first...."
And idly joining phrase to phrase, and imitating the language of children, Buikovsky began to explain what is meant by property. Serózha looked at his chest, and listened attentively (he loved to talk to his father in the evenings), then set his elbows on the table edge and began to concentrate his short-sighted eyes upon the papers and inkstand. His glance wandered around the table, and paused on a bottle of gum-arabic. "Papa, what is gum made of?" he asked, suddenly lifting the bottle to his eyes.
And while casually linking words together and mirroring the way kids talk, Buikovsky started explaining what property means. Serózha looked at his dad's chest and listened closely (he enjoyed chatting with his father in the evenings), then rested his elbows on the edge of the table and focused his poor eyesight on the papers and inkstand. His gaze wandered around the table until it landed on a bottle of gum-arabic. "Dad, what is gum made of?" he asked, suddenly raising the bottle to his eyes.
Buikovsky took the bottle, put it back on the table, and continued:
Buikovsky picked up the bottle, set it back down on the table, and carried on:
"In the second place, you smoke.... That is very bad! If I smoke, then ... it does not follow that everyone may. I smoke, and know ... that it is not clever, and I scold myself, and do not love myself on account of it ... (I am a nice teacher, thought the Procurer.) Tobacco seriously injures the health, and people who smoke die sooner than they ought to. It is particularly injurious to little boys like you. You have a weak chest, you have not yet got strong, and in weak people tobacco smoke produces consumption and other complaints. Uncle Ignatius died of consumption. If he had not smoked perhaps he would have been alive to-day."
"In the second place, you smoke.... That's really bad! Just because I smoke doesn’t mean everyone should. I smoke and I know it’s not smart; I criticize myself for it, and I don’t like myself because of it... (I’m a nice teacher, thought the Procurer.) Tobacco seriously harms your health, and people who smoke die earlier than they should. It’s especially harmful to young boys like you. You have a weak chest; you’re not strong yet, and in weak individuals, tobacco smoke can lead to lung disease and other health issues. Uncle Ignatius died from a lung condition. If he hadn't smoked, maybe he would still be alive today."
Serózha looked thoughtfully at the lamp, touched the shade with his fingers, and sighed. "Uncle Ignatius played splendidly on the fiddle!" he said. "His fiddle is now at Grigorievitch's."
Serózha looked thoughtfully at the lamp, touched the shade with his fingers, and sighed. "Uncle Ignatius played wonderfully on the violin!" he said. "His violin is now at Grigorievitch's."
Serózha again set his elbows on the table and lost himself in thought. On his pale face was the expression of one who is listening intently or following the course of his own thoughts; sorrow and something like fright showed themselves in his big, staring eyes. Probably he was thinking of death, which had so lately carried away his mother and Uncle Ignatius. Death is a tiling which carries away mothers and uncles and leaves on the earth only children and fiddles. Dead people live in the sky somewhere, near the stars, and thence look down upon the earth. How do they bear the separation?
Serózha rested his elbows on the table and got lost in thought. His pale face showed the look of someone who is listening intently or absorbed in his own reflections; sorrow and a hint of fear were visible in his big, wide eyes. He was probably thinking about death, which had recently taken his mother and Uncle Ignatius. Death is something that takes mothers and uncles away, leaving only children and their memories behind. Dead people exist somewhere in the sky, near the stars, and watch over the earth from there. How do they cope with the separation?
"What shall I say to him?" asked the Procuror. "He is not listening. Apparently he thinks there is nothing serious either in his faults or in my arguments. How can I explain it to him?"
"What should I say to him?" asked the Procuror. "He isn't listening. It seems he thinks there’s nothing serious about either his mistakes or my arguments. How can I make him understand?"
The Procurer rose and walked up and down the room.
The Procurer stood up and paced around the room.
"In my time these questions were decided very simply," he thought. "Every boy caught smoking was flogged. The cowards and babies, therefore, gave up smoking, but the brave and cunning bore their floggings, carried the tobacco in their boots and smoked in the stable. When they were caught in the stable and again flogged, they smoked on the river-bank ... and so on until they were grown up. My own mother in order to keep me from smoking used to give me money and sweets. Nowadays all these methods are regarded as petty or immoral. Taking logic as his standpoint, the modern teacher tries to inspire in the child good principles not out of fear, not out of wish for distinction or reward, but consciously."
"In my time, these issues were resolved very straightforwardly," he thought. "Any boy caught smoking was punished. As a result, the wimps and kids quit smoking, while the brave and clever took their punishments, stashed tobacco in their boots, and smoked in the stable. When they got caught there and punished again, they smoked by the riverbank... and so on until they were grown. My own mother would give me money and sweets to keep me from smoking. Nowadays, all these tactics are seen as trivial or immoral. Taking logic as his basis, the modern teacher aims to instill good values in children not out of fear, not for the sake of recognition or reward, but consciously."
While he walked and talked, Serózha climbed on the chair next the table and began to draw. To prevent the destruction of business papers and the splashing of ink, his father had provided a packet of paper, cut especially for him, and a blue pencil. "To-day the cook was chopping cabbage and cut her finger," he said, meantime sketching a house and twitching his eyebrows. "She cried so loud that we were all frightened and ran into the kitchen. Such a stupid! Natálya Semiónovna ordered her to bathe her finger in cold water, but she sucked it.... How could she put her dirty finger in her mouth! Papa, that is bad manners!"
While he walked and talked, Serózha climbed onto the chair next to the table and started to draw. To keep business papers safe and avoid ink spills, his father had given him a packet of paper cut just for him and a blue pencil. "Today the cook was chopping cabbage and cut her finger," he said, sketching a house and raising his eyebrows. "She screamed so loudly that we all got scared and ran into the kitchen. What a silly thing to do! Natálya Semiónovna told her to soak her finger in cold water, but she just sucked it.... How could she put her dirty finger in her mouth! Papa, that’s bad manners!"
He further told how during dinner-time an organ-grinder came into the yard with a little girl who sang and danced to his music.
He also said that during dinner, an organ-grinder came into the yard with a little girl who sang and danced to his music.
"He has his own current of thoughts," thought the Procuror. "In his head he has a world of his own, and he knows better than anyone else what is serious and what is not. To gain his attention and conscience it is no use imitating his language ... what is wanted is to understand and reason also in his manner. He would understand me perfectly if I really disliked tobacco, if I were angry, or cried.... For that reason mothers are irreplaceable in bringing up children, for they alone can feel and cry and laugh like children.... With logic and morals nothing can be done. What shall I say to him?"
"He has his own train of thoughts," the Procuror thought. "In his mind, he has a world of his own, and he knows better than anyone else what truly matters and what doesn't. Trying to get his attention and conscience by copying his language is pointless... what's needed is to understand and reason in his way. He would understand me perfectly if I genuinely hated tobacco, if I were upset, or if I cried... That's why mothers are irreplaceable in raising children, because they alone can feel, cry, and laugh like kids do... Logic and morals won't make an impact. What should I say to him?"
And Yevgéniï Petróvitch found it strange and absurd that he, an experienced jurist, half his life struggling with all kinds of interruptions, prejudices, and punishments, was absolutely at a loss for something to say to his son.
And Yevgéniï Petróvitch found it strange and ridiculous that he, an experienced lawyer, who had spent half his life dealing with all sorts of interruptions, biases, and punishments, was completely at a loss for words with his son.
"Listen, give me your word of honour that you will not smoke!" he said.
"Listen, promise me you won't smoke!" he said.
"Word of honour!" drawled Serózha, pressing hard on his pencil and bending down to the sketch. "Word of honour!"
"Word of honor!" Serózha said slowly, pressing down on his pencil and leaning over the sketch. "Word of honor!"
"But has he any idea what 'word of honour' means?" Buikovsky asked himself. "No, I am a bad teacher! If a schoolmaster or any of our lawyers were to see me now, he would call me a rag, and suspect me of super-subtlety.... But in school and in court all these stupid problems are decided much more simply than at home when you are dealing with those whom you love. Love is exacting and complicates the business. If this boy were not my son, but a pupil or a prisoner at the bar, I should not be such a coward and scatterbrains...."
"But does he even know what 'word of honour' means?" Buikovsky questioned himself. "No, I'm a terrible teacher! If a schoolmaster or any of our lawyers saw me now, they'd think I'm pathetic and suspect me of overthinking... But in school and in court, all these silly problems are resolved much more straightforwardly than at home when you’re dealing with people you care about. Love is demanding and complicates things. If this boy weren’t my son, but a student or a defendant in court, I wouldn’t be such a coward and a scatterbrain..."
Yevgéniï Petróvitch sat at the table and took up one of Serózha's sketches. It depicted a house with a crooked roof, and smoke which, like lightning, zigzagged from the chimney to the edge of the paper; beside the house stood a soldier with dots for eyes, and a bayonet shaped like the figure four.
Yevgéniï Petróvitch sat at the table and picked up one of Serózha's sketches. It showed a house with a crooked roof, and smoke that zigzagged from the chimney to the edge of the paper; next to the house was a soldier with dot eyes and a bayonet shaped like the number four.
"A man cannot be taller than a house," said the Procuror. "Look! the roof of your house only goes up to the soldier's shoulder."
"A man can't be taller than a house," said the Procuror. "Look! The roof of your house only reaches the soldier's shoulder."
Serózha climbed on his father's knee, and wriggled for a long time before he felt comfortable. "No, papa," he said, looking at the drawing. "If you drew the soldier smaller you wouldn't be able to see his eyes."
Serózha climbed onto his father's knee and fidgeted for a while until he felt comfortable. "No, dad," he said, looking at the drawing. "If you made the soldier smaller, you wouldn't be able to see his eyes."
Was it necessary to argue? From daily observation the Procuror had become convinced that children, like savages, have their own artistic outlook, and their own requirements, inaccessible to the understanding of adults. Under close observation Serózha to an adult seemed abnormal. He found it possible and reasonable to draw men taller than houses, and to express with the pencil not only objects but also his own sentiments. Thus, the sound of an orchestra he drew as a round, smoky spot; whistling as a spiral thread.... According to his ideas, sounds were closely allied with forms and colour, and when painting letters he always coloured L yellow, M red, A black, and so on. Throwing away his sketch, Serózha again wriggled, settled himself more comfortably, and occupied himself with his father's beard. First he carefully smoothed it down, then divided it in two, and arranged it to look like whiskers.
Was it really necessary to argue? From his daily observations, the Procuror had become convinced that children, much like wildlings, have their own artistic perspective and their own needs that adults just can’t grasp. Under close scrutiny, Serózha seemed odd to an adult. He found it perfectly normal to draw men taller than houses and to express not just objects but also his feelings with a pencil. For example, he depicted the sound of an orchestra as a round, smoky shape; whistling as a spiral thread. To him, sounds were closely tied to forms and colors, and when painting letters, he always colored L yellow, M red, A black, and so on. After tossing aside his sketch, Serózha squirmed again, got comfy, and started playing with his father's beard. First, he carefully smoothed it down, then split it in two, arranging it to look like whiskers.
"Now you are like Iván Stepánovitch," he muttered; "but wait, in a minute you will be like ... like the porter. Papa, why do porters stand in doorways? Is it to keep out robbers?"
"Now you’re like Iván Stepánovitch," he muttered; "but just wait, in a minute you'll be like ... like the porter. Dad, why do porters stand in doorways? Is it to keep out thieves?"
The Procurer felt on his face the child's breath, touched with his cheek the child's hair. In his heart rose a sudden feeling of warmth and softness, a softness that made it seem that not only his hands but all his soul lay upon the velvet of Serózha's coat. He looked into the great, dark eyes of his child, and it seemed to him that out of their big pupils looked at him his mother, and his wife, and all whom he had ever loved.
The Procurer felt the child's breath on his face and brushed his cheek against the child's hair. A sudden wave of warmth and tenderness filled his heart, a tenderness that made it feel like not just his hands but his entire soul rested on the softness of Serózha's coat. He gazed into his child's big, dark eyes and felt as if the faces of his mother, his wife, and everyone he had ever loved were looking back at him from those deep pupils.
"What is the good of thrashing him?" he asked. "Punishment is ... and why turn myself into a schoolmaster?... Formerly men were simple; they thought less, and solved problems bravely.... Now, we think too much; logic has eaten us up.... The more cultivated a man, the more he thinks, the more he surrenders himself to subtleties, the less firm is his will, the greater his timidity in the face of affairs. And, indeed, if you look into it, what a lot of courage and faith in one's self does it need to teach a child, to judge a criminal, to write a big book...."
"What’s the point of beating him?" he asked. "Punishment is... and why should I become a teacher? Back in the day, people were straightforward; they thought less and tackled problems head-on. Now, we overthink everything; logic has consumed us. The more educated a person is, the more they overanalyze, the less determined they become, and the more timid they get when facing challenges. And honestly, if you really think about it, it takes a lot of courage and self-belief to teach a child, to judge a criminal, to write a significant book..."
The clock struck ten.
The clock struck 10.
"Now, child, time for bed," said the Procuror. "Say good night, and go."
"Alright, kid, it's time for bed," said the Procuror. "Say good night and head on out."
"No, papa," frowned Serózha. "I may stay a little longer. Talk to me about something. Tell me a story."
"No, Dad," frowned Serózha. "I can stay a little longer. Talk to me about something. Tell me a story."
"I will, only after the story you must go straight to bed."
"I will, but after the story, you have to go straight to bed."
Yevgéniï Petróvitch sometimes spent his free evenings telling Serózha stories. Like most men of affairs he could not repeat by heart a single verse or remember a single fairy tale; and every time was obliged to improvise. As a rule he began with the jingle, "Once upon a time, and a very good time it was," and followed this up with all kinds of innocent nonsense, at the beginning having not the slightest idea of what would be the middle and the end. Scenery, characters, situations all came at hazard, and fable and moral flowed out by themselves without regard to the teller's will Serózha dearly loved these improvisations, and the Procuror noticed that the simpler and less pretentious the plots, the more they affected the child.
Yevgéniï Petróvitch sometimes spent his free evenings telling Serózha stories. Like most busy people, he couldn’t recite a single verse or remember a fairy tale by heart, so he had to improvise each time. He usually started with the phrase, "Once upon a time, and it was a great time," and then followed it up with all sorts of innocent nonsense, having no clue at the beginning what the middle or end would be. Landscapes, characters, and situations all came randomly, and the story and its lesson just flowed out on their own, regardless of what he intended. Serózha loved these improvised tales, and the Procuror noticed that the simpler and less elaborate the plots were, the more they touched the child.
"Listen," he began, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "Once upon a time, and a very good time it was, there lived an old, a very, very old tsar, with a long grey beard, and ... this kind of moustaches. Well! He lived in a glass palace which shone and sparkled in the sun like a big lump of clean ice.... The palace ... brother mine ... the palace stood in a great garden where, you know, grew oranges ... pears, cherry trees .,. and blossomed tulips, roses, water lilies ... and birds of different colours sang.... Yes.... On the trees hung glass bells which, when the breeze blew, sounded so musically that it was a joy to listen. Glass gives out a softer and more tender sound than metal. ... Well? Where was I? In the garden were fountains. ... You remember you saw a fountain in the country, at Aunt Sonia's. Just the same kind of fountains stood in the king's garden, only they were much bigger, and the jets of water rose as high as the tops of the tallest poplars."
"Listen," he started, looking up at the ceiling. "Once upon a time, and it was a great time, there was an old, really old tsar, with a long gray beard and... those kinds of mustaches. Well! He lived in a glass palace that shone and sparkled in the sun like a big piece of clean ice.... The palace... my brother... the palace stood in a huge garden where, you know, oranges grew... pears, cherry trees... and blooming tulips, roses, water lilies... and birds of various colors sang.... Yes.... The trees had glass bells that chimed so beautifully in the breeze, it was a joy to hear. Glass has a softer and more delicate sound than metal.... So? Where was I? In the garden were fountains.... Remember when you saw a fountain in the countryside at Aunt Sonia's? Just like that, but the king's garden had much bigger fountains, and the water jets shot up as high as the tops of the tallest poplars."
Yevgéniï Petróvitch thought for a moment and continued:
Yevgeny Petrovich paused for a moment and then went on:
"The old tsar had an only son, the heir to his throne—a little boy about your size. He was a good boy. He was never peevish, went to bed early, never touched anything on the table ... and in all ways was a model. But he had one fault—he smoked."
"The old tsar had an only son, the heir to his throne—a little boy about your size. He was a good boy. He was never grumpy, went to bed early, never touched anything on the table ... and in every way was a model child. But he had one flaw—he smoked."
Serózha listened intently, and without blinking looked straight in his father's eyes. The Procuror continued, and thought: "What next?" He hesitated for a moment, and ended his story thus:
Serózha listened closely and, without blinking, stared straight into his father's eyes. The Procuror continued and thought, "What's next?" He paused for a moment and wrapped up his story like this:
"From too much smoking, the tsarevitch got ill with consumption, and died ... when he was twenty years old. His sick and feeble old father was left without any help. There was no one to govern the kingdom and defend the palace. His enemies came and killed the old man, and destroyed the palace, and now in the garden are neither cherry trees nor birds nor bells.... So it was, brother."
"Because of excessive smoking, the tsarevitch became ill with tuberculosis and died at the age of twenty. His frail and weak old father was left to manage alone. There was no one to rule the kingdom and protect the palace. His enemies attacked, killing the old man and destroying the palace, and now in the garden there are no cherry trees, birds, or bells... That's how it happened, brother."
The end of the plot seemed to Yevgéniï Petróvitch naive and ridiculous. But on Serózha the whole story produced a strong impression. Again his eyes took on an expression of sorrow and something like fright; he looked thoughtfully at the dark window, shuddered, and said in a weak voice:
The end of the story seemed naive and ridiculous to Yevgéniï Petróvitch. But for Serózha, the whole thing left a powerful impact. Once again, sorrow and a hint of fear showed in his eyes; he stared thoughtfully at the dark window, shuddered, and said in a faint voice:
"I will not smoke any more."
"I'm done smoking."
"They will tell me that this parable acted by means of beauty and artistic form," he speculated. "That may be so, but that is no consolation.... That does not make it an honest method.... Why is it morals and truth cannot be presented in a raw form, but only with mixtures, always sugared and gilded like a pill. This is not normal.... It is falsification, deception ... a trick."
"They'll say that this parable works through beauty and artistic expression," he speculated. "That might be true, but it doesn't make it comforting.... That doesn't make it a straightforward approach.... Why can't morals and truth be presented in a pure form, instead of always being mixed up, always sweetened and covered like a pill? This isn't right.... It's falsification, deception ... a trick."
And he thought of those assessors who find it absolutely necessary to make a "speech of the public which understands history only through epics and historical novels; and of himself drawing a philosophy of life not from sermons and laws, but from fables, romances, poetry....
And he thought about those assessors who feel it's essential to give a "speech to the public that only understands history through epics and historical novels; and of himself developing a philosophy of life not from sermons and laws, but from fables, romances, poetry....
"Medicine must be sweetened, truth made beautiful. ... And this good fortune man has taken advantage of from the time of Adam.... And after all maybe it is natural thus, and cannot be otherwise ... there are in nature many useful and expedient deceits and illusions...."
"Medicine needs to be appealing, and truth should be presented in a beautiful way. ... And throughout history, people have capitalized on this from the time of Adam.... After all, perhaps it’s just the way things are, and it can’t be any different ... nature has many beneficial and practical deceptions and illusions...."
He sat down to his work, but idle, domestic thoughts long wandered in his brain. From the third story no longer came the sound of the scales. But the occupant of the second story long continued to walk up and down....
He sat down to work, but idle, domestic thoughts drifted through his mind. The sound of the scales no longer echoed from the third floor. Meanwhile, the person in the second story kept pacing back and forth....
IN EXILE
Old Semión, nicknamed Wiseacre, and a young Tartar, whom nobody knew by name, sat by the bonfire at the side of the river. The other three ferrymen lay in the hut. Semión, an old man of sixty, gaunt and toothless, but broad-shouldered and healthy in appearance, was drunk; he would have been asleep long ago if it had not been for the flagon in his pocket, and his fear that his companions in the hut might ask him for vodka. The Tartar was ill and tired; and sat there, wrapped up in his rags, holding forth on the glories of life in Simbirsk, and boasting of the handsome and clever wife he had left behind him. He was about twenty-five years old, but now in the light of the camp fire his pale face, with its melancholy and sickly expression, seemed the face of a lad.
Old Semión, nicknamed Wiseacre, and a young Tartar, whose name nobody knew, sat by the bonfire next to the river. The other three ferrymen were lying in the hut. Semión, a sixty-year-old man, thin and toothless but broad-shouldered and appearing healthy, was drunk; he would have fallen asleep long ago if it weren't for the flask in his pocket and his fear that his buddies in the hut might ask him for vodka. The Tartar was sick and tired; he sat there, bundled up in his rags, talking about the glories of life in Simbirsk and bragging about the beautiful and smart wife he had left behind. He was around twenty-five years old, but in the light of the campfire, his pale face, with its sad and sickly look, resembled that of a young boy.
"Yes, you can hardly call it paradise," said Wiseacre. "You can take it all in at a glance—water, bare banks, and clay about you, and nothing more. Holy Week is over, but there is still ice floating down the river, and this very morning snow."
"Yeah, you can barely call it paradise," said Wiseacre. "You can see everything at a glance—water, bare banks, and clay all around, and nothing else. Holy Week is over, but there’s still ice floating down the river, and there was even snow this morning."
"Misery, misery!" moaned the Tartar, looking round him in terror.
"Misery, misery!" the Tartar shouted, looking around in fear.
Ten paces below them lay the river, dark and cold, grumbling, it seemed, at itself, as it clove a path through the steep clay banks, and bore itself swiftly to the sea. Up against the bank lay one of the great barges which the ferrymen call karbases. On the opposite side, far away, rising and falling, and mingling with one another, crept little serpents of fire. It was the burning of last year's grass. And behind the serpents of fire darkness again. From the river came the noise of little ice floes crashing against the barge. Darkness only, and cold!
Ten paces below them was the river, dark and cold, grumbling to itself as it carved a path through the steep clay banks and rushed swiftly to the sea. Against the bank was one of the large barges that the ferrymen called karbases. On the opposite side, far away, rising and falling, and mixing together, were little flames appearing like serpents. It was the burning of last year's grass. Behind the flames lay darkness again. From the river came the sound of small ice floes crashing against the barge. Just darkness and cold!
The Tartar looked at the sky. There were as many stars there as in his own country, just the same blackness above him. But something was lacking. At home in Simbirsk government there were no such stars and no such heaven.
The Tartar looked at the sky. There were as many stars as in his own country, the same darkness above him. But something was missing. Back home in Simbirsk, there were no stars like these and no sky like this.
"Misery, misery!" he repeated.
"Misery, misery!" he said again.
"You'll get used to it," said Wiseacre, grinning. "You're young and foolish now—your mother's milk is still wet on your lips, only youth and folly could make you imagine there's no one more miserable than you. But the time'll come when you'll say, 'God grant every one such a life as this!' Look at me, for instance. In a week's time the water will have fallen, we'll launch the small boat, you'll be off to Siberia to amuse yourselves, and I'll remain here and row from one side to another. Twenty years now I've been ferrying. Day and night! Salmon and pike beneath the water and I above it! And God be thanked! I don't want for anything! God grant everyone such a life!"
"You'll get used to it," Wiseacre said with a grin. "You're young and naive right now—you're still fresh out of your mother's care, and only youth and ignorance could make you think you’re the most miserable person around. But soon enough, you’ll find yourself saying, 'I hope everyone gets to live a life like this!' Just look at me. In a week, the water will have gone down, we'll launch the small boat, and you'll be off to Siberia to have your fun while I stay here, rowing back and forth. I've been doing this for twenty years. Day and night! Salmon and pike swimming below me while I paddle above! And thank God! I'm not lacking anything! I hope everyone gets to live a life like this!"
The Tartar thrust some brushwood into the fire, lay closer to it, and said:
The Tartar pushed some twigs into the fire, moved closer to it, and said:
"My father is ill. When he dies my mother and wife are coming. They promised me."
"My dad is sick. When he passes away, my mom and my wife are coming. They promised me."
"What do you want with a mother and wife?" asked Wiseacre, "put that out of your head, it's all nonsense, brother! It's the devil's doing to make you think such thoughts. Don't listen to him, accursed! If he begins about women, answer him back, 'Don't want them.' If he comes about freedom, answer him back, 'Don't want it.' You don't want anything. Neither father, nor mother, nor wife, nor freedom, nor house, nor home. You don't want anything, d——n them!"
"What do you want with a mother and a wife?" Wiseacre asked. "Forget about it, it's all nonsense, my friend! It's the devil's work to make you think like that. Don't listen to him, you cursed one! If he starts talking about women, just reply, 'I don't want them.' If he brings up freedom, say back, 'I don't want it.' You don't want anything. No father, no mother, no wife, no freedom, no house, no home. You don't want anything, damn them!"
Wiseacre took a drink from his flask and continued: "I, brother, am no simple mujik, but a sexton's son, and when I lived in freedom in Kursk wore a frockcoat, yet now I have brought myself to such a point that I can sleep naked on the earth and eat grass. And God grant everyone such a life! I don't want anything, and I don't fear anyone, and I know there is no one richer and freer than I in the world. The first day I came here from Russia I persisted,41 don't want anything.' The devil took me on also about wife, and home, and freedom, but I answered him back 'I don't want anything.' I tired him out, and now, as you see, I live well, and don't complain. If any one bates an inch to the devil, or listens to him even once, he's lost—there's no salvation for him—he sinks in the bog to the crown of his head, and never gets out.
Wiseacre took a swig from his flask and continued, "I’m not just some simple peasant; I’m the son of a sexton. When I was free in Kursk, I wore a frock coat, but now I've gotten to the point where I can sleep on the ground and eat grass. And I wish everyone could have this kind of life! I don’t want anything, I'm not afraid of anyone, and I know there's no one richer or freer than I am in the world. The first day I came here from Russia, I held firm, 'I don’t want anything.' The devil tempted me with thoughts of a wife, a home, and freedom, but I pushed back, saying 'I don’t want anything.' I wore him down, and now, as you see, I live well and have no complaints. If anyone gives in to the devil even just a little, or listens to him even once, they're doomed—there’s no way back for them—they’ll sink into the muck up to their necks and never escape."
"Don't think it's only our brother, the stupid mujik, that gets lost. The well-born and educated lose themselves also. Fifteen years ago they sent a gentleman here from Russia. He wouldn't share something with his brothers, and did something dishonest with a will. Belonged, they said, to a prince's or a baron's family—maybe he was an official, who can tell? Well, anyway he came, and the first thing he did was to buy himself a house and land in Mukhortinsk. 'I want,' he says, 'to live by my work, by the sweat of my brow, because,' he says, 'I am no longer a gentleman, but a convict.' 'Well,' I said, 'may God help him, he can do nothing better.' He was a young man, fussy, and fond of talking; mowed his own grass, caught fish, and rode on horseback sixty versts a day. That was the cause of the misfortune. From the first year he used to ride to Guirino, to the post office. He would stand with me in the boat and sigh: 'Akh, Semión, how long they are sending me money from home.' 'You don't want it, Vassili Sergeyitch,' I answered,' what good is money to you? Give up the old ways, forget them as if they never were, as if you had dreamt them, and begin to live anew. Pay no attention,' I said, 'to the devil, he'll bring you nothing but ill. At present, you want only money, but in a little time you'll want something more. If you want to be happy, don't wish for anything at all. Yes.... Already,' I used to say to him, 'fortune has done you and me a bad turn—there's no good begging charity from her, and bowing down to her—you must despise and laugh at her. Then she'll begin to laugh herself.' So I used to talk to him.
"Don't think it's just our brother, the foolish peasant, who gets lost. Well-bred and educated people get lost too. Fifteen years ago, they sent a guy here from Russia. He wouldn’t share anything with his siblings and did something shady with a will. They said he came from a prince’s or baron’s family—maybe he was some official, who knows? Anyway, he arrived and the first thing he did was buy a house and land in Mukhortinsk. 'I want,' he said, 'to live off my work, by the sweat of my brow, because,' he said, 'I'm no longer a gentleman, but a convict.' 'Well,' I said, 'may God help him, he can't do any better.' He was a young man, fussy, and loved to talk; he mowed his own lawn, went fishing, and rode his horse sixty versts a day. That’s what led to his downfall. From the very first year, he would ride to Guirino, to the post office. He would stand with me in the boat and sigh: 'Ah, Semión, how long it's taking them to send me money from home.' 'You don’t want it, Vassili Sergeyitch,' I replied, 'what good is money to you? Give up the old ways, forget them like they never happened, as if you just dreamed them, and start fresh. Don’t pay attention,' I said, 'to the devil, he’ll bring you nothing but trouble. Right now, you want only money, but soon you’ll want something more. If you want to be happy, don’t wish for anything at all. Yes... Even now,' I used to say to him, 'fortune has played a dirty trick on you and me—there's no point in begging her for charity and bowing down to her—you have to mock and laugh at her. Then she’ll begin to laugh back.' So I would talk to him."
"Well, two years after he came, he drove down to the ferry in good spirits. He was rubbing his hands and laughing. 'I am going to Guirino,' he says, 'to meet my wife. She has taken pity on me, and is coming. She is a good wife.' He was out of breath from joy.
"Well, two years after he arrived, he drove down to the ferry feeling great. He was rubbing his hands and laughing. 'I’m going to Guirino,' he said, 'to meet my wife. She’s taken pity on me and is coming. She’s a good wife.' He was breathless with happiness."
"The next day he came back with his wife. She was a young woman, a good-looking one, in a hat, with a little girl in her arms. And my Vassili Sergeyitch bustles about her, feasts his eyes on her, and praises her up to the skies, 'Yes, brother Semión, even in Siberia people live.' 'Well,' I thought, 'he won't always think so.' From that time out, every week, he rode to Guirino to inquire whether money had been sent to him from Russia. Money he wanted without end. 'For my sake,' he used to say, 'she is burying her youth and beauty in Siberia, and sharing my miserable life. For this reason I must procure her every enjoyment.' And to make things gayer for her, he makes acquaintance with officials and all kinds of people. All this company, of course, had to be fed and kept in drink, a piano must be got, and a shaggy dog for the sofa—in one word, extravagance, luxury.... She didn't live with him long. How could she? Mud, water, cold, neither vegetable nor fruit, bears and drunkards around her, and she a woman from Petersburg, petted and spoiled.... Of course, she got sick of it.... Yes, and a husband, too, no longer a man, but a convict.... Well, after three years, I remember, on Assumption Eve, I heard shouting from the opposite bank. When I rowed across I saw the lady all wrapped up, and with her a young man, one of the officials. A troika! I rowed them across, they got into the troika and drove off. Towards morning, Vassili Sergeyitch drives up in hot haste. 'Did my wife go by,' he asked, 'with a man in spectacles?' 'Yes,' I said, 'seek the wind in the field.' He drove after them, and chased them for five days. When I ferried him back, he threw himself into the bottom of the boat, beat his head against the planks, and howled. I laughed and reminded him, 'even in Siberia people live!' But that only made him worse.
The next day he came back with his wife. She was a young, attractive woman wearing a hat and holding a little girl. My Vassili Sergeyitch fussed over her, admired her, and praised her endlessly, saying, "Yes, brother Semión, even in Siberia people live." I thought to myself, "He won’t always think that way." From then on, every week, he rode to Guirino to check if money had been sent to him from Russia. He wanted endless money. "For my sake," he would say, "she is wasting her youth and beauty in Siberia, sharing my miserable life. Because of this, I must give her every pleasure." To make things more enjoyable for her, he made friends with officials and all sorts of people. Naturally, all this company had to be fed and entertained, a piano had to be acquired, and a fluffy dog placed on the sofa—in short, extravagance, luxury.... She didn’t stay with him long. How could she? The mud, the cold, a lack of food and fruit, surrounded by bears and drunks, while she was a woman from Petersburg, pampered and spoiled.... Of course, she got tired of it.... And a husband, too, who was no longer a man, but a convict.... Well, after three years, I remember, on Assumption Eve, I heard shouting from the opposite bank. When I rowed over, I saw the lady all bundled up, accompanied by a young man, one of the officials. A troika! I ferried them across, they got into the troika and drove off. Towards morning, Vassili Sergeyitch hurried back. "Did my wife go by," he asked, "with a man in glasses?" "Yes," I said, "good luck finding her." He chased after them for five days. When I brought him back, he threw himself in the bottom of the boat, banged his head against the planks, and cried out. I laughed and reminded him, "Even in Siberia people live!" But that only made him worse.
"After this he tried to regain his freedom. His wife had gone back to Russia, and he thought only of seeing her, and getting her to return to him. Every day he galloped off to one place or another, one day to the post office, the next to town to see the authorities. He sent in petitions asking for pardon and permission to return to Russia—on telegrams alone, he used to say, he spent two hundred roubles. He sold his land and mortgaged his house to a Jew. He got grey-haired and bent, and his face turned yellow like a consumptive's. He could not speak without tears coming into his eyes. Eight years he spent sending in petitions. Then he came to life again; he had got a new consolation. The daughter, you see, was growing up. He doted on her. And to tell the truth, she wasn't bad-looking—pretty, black-browed, and high-spirited. Every Sunday he rode with her to the church at Guirino. They would stand side by side in the boat, she laughing, and he never lifting his eyes from her. 'Yes,' he said, 'Semión, even in Siberia people live, and are happy. See what a daughter I've got! you might go a thousand versts and never see another like her.' The daughter, as I said, was really good-looking. 'But wait a little,' I used to say to myself, 'the girl is young, the blood flows in her veins, she wants to live; and what is life here?' Anyway, brother, she began to grieve. Pined and declined, dwindled away, got ill, and now can't stand on her legs. Consumption! There's your Siberian happiness! That's the way people live in Siberia!... And my Vassili Sergeyitch spends his time driving about to doctors and bringing them home. Once let him hear there's a doctor or a magic curer within two or three hundred versts, and after him he must go.... It's terrible to think of the amount of money he spends, he might as well drink it.... She'll die all the same, nothing'll save her, and then he'll be altogether lost. Whether he hangs himself from grief or runs off to Russia it's all the same. If he runs away they'll catch him, then we'll have a trial and penal servitude, and the rest of it...."
"After that, he tried to get his freedom back. His wife had returned to Russia, and all he could think about was seeing her and convincing her to come back. Every day, he rushed off to different places; one day to the post office, the next to the authorities in town. He submitted requests for forgiveness and permission to return to Russia—he always said he spent two hundred roubles just on telegrams. He sold his land and mortgaged his house to a Jewish man. He grew gray and bent, and his face became yellow, like someone with tuberculosis. He couldn’t talk without tears welling up. Eight years he spent sending in requests. Then he found new hope; his daughter was growing up. He adored her. Honestly, she wasn’t bad-looking—pretty, dark-eyed, and full of spirit. Every Sunday he rode with her to the church at Guirino. They would stand side by side in the boat, her laughing while he couldn’t take his eyes off her. 'Yes,' he said, 'Semión, even in Siberia, people live and are happy. Look at the daughter I have! You could travel a thousand versts and not find another like her.' As I mentioned, the daughter was genuinely good-looking. 'But wait a little,' I thought to myself, 'she's young, she’s full of life; and what’s life like here?' Anyway, my friend, she started to feel sad. She pined, got weaker, fell ill, and now she can’t even stand. Tuberculosis! There’s your Siberian happiness! That’s how people live in Siberia!... And my Vassili Sergeyitch spends his time driving around to find doctors and bringing them home. The minute he hears there’s a doctor or a miracle healer within two or three hundred versts, he has to go after them.... It’s horrifying to think of how much money he spends; he might as well just drink it away.... She’ll die anyway, nothing will save her, and then he’ll be completely lost. Whether he hangs himself out of grief or runs off to Russia, it makes no difference. If he runs away, they’ll catch him, and then we’ll have a trial and penal servitude, and all that..."
"It was very well for him," said the Tartar, shuddering with the cold.
"It was great for him," said the Tartar, shivering from the cold.
"What was well?"
"What's up?"
"Wife and daughter.... Whatever he suffers, whatever punishment he'll have, at any rate he saw them.... You say you don't want anything. But to have nothing is bad. His wife lived with him three years, God granted him that. To have nothing is bad, but three years is good. You don't understand."
"Wife and daughter.... No matter what he endures, whatever punishment he faces, at least he got to see them.... You say you don't want anything. But having nothing is tough. His wife was with him for three years, and God gave him that. Having nothing is tough, but three years is good. You just don’t get it."
Trembling with cold, finding only with painful difficulty the proper Russian words, the Tartar began to beg that God might save him from dying in a strange land, and being buried in the cold earth. If his wife were to come to him, even for one day, even for one hour, for such happiness he would consent to undergo the most frightful tortures, and thank God for them. Better one day's happiness than nothing!
Trembling from the cold and struggling to find the right Russian words, the Tartar started to plead for God to save him from dying in a foreign land and being buried in the cold ground. If only his wife could come to him, even for one day or just one hour, he would be willing to endure the worst tortures and thank God for them. One day of happiness is better than nothing!
And he again told the story of how he had left at home a handsome and clever wife. Then, putting both his hands to his head, he began to cry, and to assure Semión that he was guilty of nothing, and was suffering unjustly. His two brothers and his uncle had stolen a peasant's horses, and beaten the old man half to death. But society had treated him unfairly, and sent the three brothers to Siberia, while the uncle, a rich man, remained at home.
And he told the story again about how he had left behind a beautiful and smart wife at home. Then, putting both hands to his head, he started to cry, insisting to Semión that he hadn’t done anything wrong and was suffering unfairly. His two brothers and his uncle had stolen a peasant's horses and nearly beaten the old man to death. But society had treated him unjustly, sending the three brothers to Siberia while the uncle, who was wealthy, stayed at home.
"You'll get used to it!" said Semión.
"You'll get used to it!" Semión said.
The Tartar said nothing, and only turned his wet eyes on the fire; his face expressed doubt and alarm, as if he did not yet understand why he lay there in darkness and in cold among strangers, and not at Simbirsk. Wiseacre lay beside the fire, laughed silently at something, and hummed a tune.
The Tartar said nothing and just turned his teary eyes towards the fire. His face showed confusion and worry, as if he still didn’t understand why he was lying there in the dark and cold among strangers instead of being in Simbirsk. Wiseacre lay next to the fire, silently laughing at something and humming a tune.
"What happiness can she have with her father?" he began after a few minutes' silence. "He loves her, and finds her a consolation, that's true But you can't put your finger in his eyes; he's a cross old man, a stern old man. And with young girls you don't want sternness. What they want is caresses, and ha! ha! ha! and ho! ho! ho!—perfume and pomade. Yes ... Akh, business, business!" He sighed, lifting himself clumsily. "Vodka all gone—means it's time to go to bed. Well, I'm off, brother."
"What happiness can she have with her dad?" he started after a few minutes of silence. "He loves her and finds comfort in her, that's true. But you can't ignore his nature; he's a grumpy old man, a strict old man. And young girls don't want strictness. What they want is affection, and laughter—fun and excitement—flowers and nice scents. Yes ... Ah, work, work!" He sighed, getting up awkwardly. "Vodka's all gone—means it's time to hit the hay. Well, I'm out of here, brother."
The Tartar added some more brushwood to the fire, lay down again, and began to think of his native village and of his wife; if his wife would only come for a week, for a day, let her go back if she liked! Better a few days, even a day, than nothing! But if his wife kept her promise and came, what would he feed her with? Where would she live?
The Tartar added more brushwood to the fire, lay back down, and started thinking about his hometown and his wife; if only she could come for a week, or even just a day, she could leave afterward if she wanted! Anything was better than nothing! But if his wife kept her promise and came, what would he feed her? Where would she stay?
"How can you live without anything to eat?" he asked aloud.
"How can you live without any food?" he asked out loud.
For working day and night at an oar they paid him only ten kopecks a day. True, passengers sometimes gave money for tea and vodka, but the others shared this among themselves, gave nothing to the Tartar, and only laughed at him. From poverty he was hungry, cold, and frightened. His whole body ached and trembled. If he went into the hut there would be nothing for him to cover himself with. Here, too, he had nothing to cover himself with, but he might keep up the fire.
For working day and night at the oar, they paid him just ten kopecks a day. Sure, sometimes passengers would give money for tea and vodka, but the others just kept it for themselves, giving nothing to the Tartar and laughing at him instead. He was hungry, cold, and scared because of his poverty. His whole body ached and shook. If he went into the hut, there would be nothing for him to cover himself with. Here, too, he had nothing to cover himself with, but at least he could keep the fire going.
In a week the waters would have fallen, and the ferrymen, with the exception of Semión, would no longer be wanted. The Tartar must begin his tramp from village to village asking for bread and work. His wife was only seventeen years old; she was pretty, modest, and spoiled. How could she tramp with uncovered face through the villages and ask for bread? It was too horrible to think of.
In a week, the waters would have receded, and the ferry operators, except for Semión, wouldn't be needed anymore. The Tartar would have to start his journey from village to village asking for food and work. His wife was only seventeen; she was pretty, shy, and pampered. How could she walk through the villages with her face uncovered, begging for bread? It was too dreadful to consider.
When next the Tartar looked up it was dawn. The barge, the willows, and the ripples stood out plainly. You might turn round and see the clayey slope, with its brown thatched hut at the bottom, and above it the huts of the village. In the village the cocks already crowed.
When the Tartar looked up again, it was dawn. The barge, the willows, and the ripples were clearly visible. You could turn around and see the muddy slope, with its brown thatched house at the bottom, and above it, the houses of the village. In the village, the roosters were already crowing.
The clayey slope, the barge, the river, the strange wicked people, hunger, cold, sickness—in reality there was none of this at all. It was only a dream, thought the Tartar. He felt that he was sleeping, and heard himself snore. Of course, he was at home in Simbirsk, he had only to call his wife by name and she would call bock; in the next room lay his old mother.... What terrible things are dreams!... Where do they come from?... The Tartar smiled and opened his eyes. What river was this? The Volga?
The clay slope, the barge, the river, the strange wicked people, hunger, cold, sickness—in reality, none of this was real at all. It was just a dream, thought the Tartar. He realized he was sleeping and could hear himself snoring. Of course, he was at home in Simbirsk; he just needed to call his wife by name, and she would respond. In the next room, his old mother was there... What terrible things dreams are!... Where do they come from?... The Tartar smiled and opened his eyes. What river was this? The Volga?
It began to snow.
It started to snow.
"Ahoy!" came a voice from the other side, "boatman!"
"Hey!" called a voice from the other side, "boatman!"
The Tartar shook himself, and went to awaken his companions. Dragging on their sheepskin coats on the way, swearing in voices hoarse from sleep, the ferrymen appeared on the bank. After sleep, the river, with its piercing breeze, evidently seemed to them a nightmare. They tumbled lazily into the boat. The Tartar and three ferrymen took up the long, wide-bladed oars which looked in the darkness like the claws of a crab. Semión threw himself on his stomach across the helm. On the opposite bank the shouting continued, and twice revolver shots were heal'd. The stranger evidently thought that the ferrymen were asleep or had gone into the village to the kabak.
The Tartar shook himself awake and went to rouse his friends. As they pulled on their sheepskin coats, grumbling in voices rough from sleep, the ferrymen showed up on the bank. After sleeping, the river, with its biting breeze, clearly felt like a nightmare to them. They lazily climbed into the boat. The Tartar and three ferrymen picked up the long, wide oars that looked like the claws of a crab in the darkness. Semión laid down on his stomach across the helm. On the other bank, the shouting continued, and twice they heard gunshots. The stranger clearly thought the ferrymen were either asleep or had gone into the village to the tavern.
"You'll get across in time," said Wiseacre in the tone of a man who is convinced that in this world there is no need for hurry. "It's all the same in the end; you'll gain nothing by making a noise."
"You'll get there on time," said Wiseacre in a way that showed he believed there's no need to rush in this world. "It all works out in the end; making a fuss won't help you at all."
The heavy, awkward barge parted from the bank, cleaving a path through the willows, and only the slow movement of the willows backward showed that it was moving at all. The ferrymen slowly raised their oars in time. Wiseacre lay on his stomach across the helm, and, describing a bow in the air, swung slowly from one side to the other. In the dim light it seemed as if the men were sitting on some long-clawed antediluvian animal, floating with it into the cold desolate land that is sometimes seen in nightmares.
The heavy, clumsy barge pushed away from the shore, making its way through the willows, and the only sign of movement was the slow sway of the willows moving back. The ferrymen steadily lifted their oars in sync. Wiseacre lay on his stomach across the helm, creating an arch with his arms as he gradually swung from one side to the other. In the dim light, it looked like the men were perched on some ancient beast with long claws, drifting into the cold, desolate land that sometimes appears in nightmares.
The willows soon were passed and the open water reached. On the other bank the creak and measured dipping of the oars were already audible, and cries of "Quicker, quicker!" came back across the water. Ten minutes more and the barge struck heavily against the landing-stage.
The willows were soon left behind and they reached the open water. On the opposite bank, the sound of oars creaking and dipping in a steady rhythm could already be heard, along with shouts of "Faster, faster!" echoing across the water. Ten more minutes passed, and the barge hit the landing stage with a heavy thud.
"It keeps on falling, it keeps on falling," grumbled Semión, rubbing the snow from his face. "Where it all comes from God only knows!"
"It just keeps falling, it just keeps falling," Semión grumbled, rubbing the snow off his face. "Who knows where it all comes from!"
On the bank stood a frail old man of low stature in a short foxskin coat and white lambskin cap. He stood immovable at some distance from the horses; his face had a gloomy concentrated expression, as if he were trying to remember something, and were angry with his disobedient memory. When Semión approached him, and, smiling, took off his cap, he began:
On the bank stood a frail old man, short in stature, wearing a short fox fur coat and a white lambskin hat. He stood still some distance from the horses, his face showing a gloomy, focused expression, as if he were trying to recall something and was frustrated with his uncooperative memory. When Semión walked up to him and smiled as he took off his hat, the old man began:
"I am going in great haste to Anastasevki. My daughter is worse. In Anastasevka, I am told, a new doctor has been appointed."
"I’m rushing to Anastasevki. My daughter is getting worse. I’ve heard there’s a new doctor in Anastasevka."
The ferrymen dragged the cart on to the barge, and started back. The man, whom Semión called Vassili Sergeyitch, stood all the time immovable, tightly compressing his thick fingers, and when the driver asked for permission to smoke in his presence, answered nothing, as if he had not heard. Semión, lying on his stomach across the helm, looked at him maliciously, and said:
The ferrymen pulled the cart onto the barge and headed back. The man Semión referred to as Vassili Sergeyitch stood still the whole time, tightly gripping his thick fingers, and when the driver asked if he could smoke in his presence, he said nothing, as if he hadn't heard. Semión, lying on his stomach across the helm, looked at him with a smirk and said:
"Even in Siberia people live! Even in Siberia!" Wiseacre's face bore a triumphant expression, as if he had demonstrated something, and rejoiced that things had justified his prediction. The miserable, helpless expression of the man in the foxskin coat evidently only increased his delight.
"Even in Siberia, people live! Even in Siberia!" Wiseacre's face showed a triumphant look, as if he had proven a point, and he was pleased that reality had confirmed his prediction. The wretched, helpless look on the man in the foxskin coat clearly only added to his joy.
"It's muddy travelling at this time, Vassili Sergeyitch," he said, as they harnessed the horses on the river bank. "You might have waited another week or two till it got drier. For the matter of that, you might just as well not go at all.... If there was any sense in going it would be another matter, but you yourself know that you might go on for ever and nothing would come of it.... Well?"
"It's muddy traveling right now, Vassili Sergeyitch," he said as they harnessed the horses by the riverbank. "You could've waited another week or two until it dried up. Honestly, you might as well not go at all... If there was any point in going, that would be a different story, but you know that you could go on forever and nothing would come of it... Well?"
Vassili Sergeyitch silently handed the men some money, climbed into the cart, and drove off.
Vassili Sergeyitch quietly gave the men some money, got into the cart, and drove away.
"After that doctor again," said Semión, shuddering from the cold. "Yes, look for a real doctor—chase the wind in the field, seize the devil by the tail, damn him. Akh, what characters these people are! Lord forgive me, a sinner!"
"After that doctor again," said Semión, shivering from the cold. "Yeah, find a real doctor—run after the wind in the field, grab the devil by the tail, damn him. Ugh, what a bunch of characters these people are! Lord forgive me, a sinner!"
The Tartar walked up to Semión, and looked at him with hatred and repulsion. Then, trembling, and mixing Tartar words with his broken Russian, he said:
The Tartar approached Semión, glaring at him with hatred and disgust. Then, shaking, and mixing Tartar words with his halting Russian, he said:
"He is a good man, a good man, and you are bad. You are bad. He is a good soul, a great one, but you are a beast.... He is living, but you are dead.... God made men that they might have joys and sorrows, but you ask for nothing.... You are a stone,—earth! A stone wants nothing, and you want nothing. ... You are a stone, and God has no love for you. But him He loves!"
"He is a good man, a really good man, and you are bad. You're bad. He's got a good heart, a great one, but you are a monster... He is alive, but you are dead... God created people to experience joy and sorrow, but you don't want anything... You are like a stone—just earth! A stone doesn't want anything, and neither do you... You are a stone, and God has no love for you. But He loves him!"
All laughed; the Tartar alone frowned disgustedly, shook his hand, and, pulling his rags more closely round him, walked back to the fire. Semión and the ferrymen returned to the hut.
All laughed; the Tartar alone scowled in disgust, waved his hand, and, pulling his rags tighter around him, walked back to the fire. Semión and the ferrymen went back to the hut.
"Cold!" said one ferryman in a hoarse voice, stretching himself on the straw with which the floor was covered.
"Cold!" said one ferryman in a raspy voice, lying back on the straw that covered the floor.
"Yes, it's not warm," said another. "A galley-slave's life!"
"Yeah, it's not warm," said another. "What a life for a galley slave!"
All lay down. The door opened before the wind, and snowflakes whirled through the hut. But no one rose to shut it, all were too cold and lazy.
All laid down. The door swung open in the wind, and snowflakes swirled into the hut. But no one got up to close it; everyone was too cold and lazy.
"I, for one, am all right," said Semión. "God grant everyone such a life."
"I, for one, am doing fine," said Semión. "May everyone be granted such a life."
"You, it is known, were born a galley-slave—the devil himself wouldn't take you."
"You were born a galley slave—the devil himself wouldn’t want you."
From the yard came strange sounds like the whining of a dog.
From the yard came strange noises that sounded like a dog whining.
"What's that? Who's there?"
"What's that? Who's there?"
"It's the Tartar crying."
"It's the Tartar sobbing."
"Well ... what a character!"
"Wow ... what a character!"
"He'll get used to it," said Semión, and went off to sleep.
"He'll get used to it," Semión said, and then he went to sleep.
Soon all the others followed his example. But the door remained unshut.
Soon everyone else followed his lead. But the door stayed open.
ROTHSCHILD'S FIDDLE
He town was small—no better than a village—and it was inhabited almost entirely by old people who died so seldom that it was positively painful. In the hospital, and even in the prison, coffins were required very seldom. In one word, business was bad. If Yacob Ivanof had been coffin-maker in the government town, he would probably have owned his own house, and called himself Yakob Matvieitch; but, as it was, he was known only by the name of Yakob, with the street nickname given for some obscure reason of "Bronza"; and lived as poorly as a simple muzhik in a little, ancient cabin with only one room; and in this room lived he, Marfa, the stove, a double bed, the coffins, a joiner's bench, and all the domestic utensils.
The town was small—barely more than a village—and mostly filled with elderly people who rarely passed away, which was almost painful. In the hospital, and even in the prison, coffins were needed very infrequently. In short, business was bad. If Yacob Ivanof had been a coffin maker in a larger town, he would have probably owned his own house and called himself Yakob Matvieitch; instead, he was just known as Yakob, with the street nickname "Bronza," given for some unclear reason. He lived as poorly as an ordinary peasant in a tiny, old cabin with just one room; in that room lived him, Marfa, the stove, a double bed, the coffins, a carpenter's bench, and all the household items.
Yet Yakob made admirable coffins, durable and good. For muzhiks and petty tradespeople he made them all of one size, taking himself as model; and this method never failed him, for though he was seventy years of age, there was not a taller or stouter man in the town, not even in the prison. For women and for men of good birth he made his coffins to measure, using for this purpose an iron yardwand. Orders for children's coffins he accepted very unwillingly, made them without measurement, as if in contempt, and every time when paid for his work exclaimed:
Yet Yakob crafted impressive coffins that were strong and well-made. For the peasants and small tradespeople, he created them all in one standard size, modeling them after himself; this approach never let him down, as even at seventy years old, he was the tallest and strongest man in town, even more so than those in jail. For women and well-born men, he made custom coffins using an iron measuring stick. He reluctantly took orders for children's coffins, making them without measuring, as if out of disdain, and each time he received payment for his work, he exclaimed:
"Thanks. But I confess I don't care much for wasting time on trifles."
"Thanks. But I have to admit I don’t really like wasting time on little things."
In addition to coffin-making Yakob drew a small income from his skill with the fiddle. At weddings in the town there usually played a Jewish orchestra, the conductor of which was the tinsmith Moses Hitch Shakhkes, who kept more than half the takings for himself. As Yakob played very well upon the fiddle, being particularly skilful with Russian songs, Shakhkes sometimes employed him in the orchestra, paying him fifty kopecks a day, exclusive of gifts from the guests. When Bronza sat in the orchestra he perspired and his face grew purple; it was always hot, the smell of garlic was suffocating; the fiddle whined, at his right ear snored the double-bass, at his left wept the flute, played by a lanky, red-haired Jew with a whole network of red and blue veins upon his face, who bore the same surname as the famous millionaire Rothschild. And even the merriest tunes this accursed Jew managed to play sadly. Without any tangible cause Yakob had become slowly penetrated with hatred and contempt for Jews, and especially for Rothschild; he began with irritation, then swore at him, and once even was about to hit him; but Rothschild flared up, and, looking at him furiously, said:
In addition to making coffins, Yakob earned a bit of extra money from his fiddle skills. At weddings in town, there was usually a Jewish orchestra led by the tinsmith Moses Hitch Shakhkes, who pocketed more than half of the earnings for himself. Since Yakob played the fiddle very well, especially Russian songs, Shakhkes sometimes hired him for the orchestra, paying him fifty kopecks a day, plus tips from the guests. When Bronza was in the orchestra, he would sweat and his face would turn purple; it was always hot, and the smell of garlic was overwhelming; the fiddle squeaked, to his right the double bass snored, and to his left the flute cried, played by a lanky, red-haired Jew whose face was marked with a web of red and blue veins and who shared the same last name as the famous millionaire Rothschild. Even the happiest tunes were played sadly by this cursed Jew. For no clear reason, Yakob had gradually developed a growing hatred and disdain for Jews, especially Rothschild; it started with irritation, then he cursed him, and once he nearly struck him; but Rothschild snapped back and, glaring at him furiously, said:
"If it were not that I respect you for your talents, I should send you flying out of the window."
"If I didn't respect you for your talents, I'd toss you out the window."
Then he began to cry. So Bronza was employed in the orchestra very seldom, and only in cases of extreme need when one of the Jews was absent.
Then he started to cry. Bronza was rarely hired for the orchestra, only in cases of urgent need when one of the Jewish musicians was missing.
Yakob had never been in a good humour. He was always overwhelmed by the sense of the losses which he suffered. For instance, on Sundays and saints' days it was a sin to work, Monday was a tiresome day—and so on; so that in one way or another, there were about two hundred days in the year when he was compelled to sit with his hands idle. That was one loss! If anyone in the town got married without music, or if Shakhkes did not employ Yakob, that was another loss. The Inspector of Police was ill for two years, and Yakob waited with impatience for his death, yet in the end the Inspector transferred himself to the government town for the purpose of treatment, where he got worse and died. There was another loss, a loss at the very least of ten roubles, as the Inspector's coffin would have been an expensive one lined with brocade. Regrets for his losses generally overtook Yakob at night; he lay in bed with the fiddle beside him, and, with his head full of such speculations, would take the bow, the fiddle giving out through the darkness a melancholy sound which made Yakob feel better.
Yakob had never been in a good mood. He was always weighed down by the sense of his losses. For example, on Sundays and holidays, it was a sin to work, and Mondays were just a drag—and so on; so in one way or another, there were around two hundred days a year when he had to sit with his hands idle. That was one loss! If anyone in town got married without music, or if Shakhkes didn’t hire Yakob, that was another loss. The Police Inspector was sick for two years, and Yakob waited anxiously for him to die, but in the end, the Inspector moved to a government town for treatment, where he got worse and eventually died. That was another loss, at least ten roubles gone, since the Inspector's coffin would have been an expensive one lined with brocade. Regrets for his losses usually hit Yakob at night; he lay in bed with his fiddle next to him, and with his mind full of these thoughts, he’d grab the bow, and the fiddle would produce a sad sound in the darkness that made Yakob feel a little better.
On the sixth of May last year Marfa was suddenly taken ill. She breathed heavily, drank much water and staggered. Yet next morning she lighted the stove, and even went for water. Towards evening she lay down. All day Yakob had played on the fiddle, and when it grew dark he took the book in which every day he inscribed his losses, and from want of something better to do, began to add them up. The total amounted to more than a thousand roubles. The thought of such losses so horrified him that he threw the book on the floor and stamped his feet. Then he took up the book, snapped his fingers, and sighed heavily. His face was purple, and wet with perspiration. He reflected that if this thousand roubles had been lodged in the bank the interest per annum would have amounted to at least forty roubles. That meant that the forty roubles were also a loss. In one word, whenever you turn, everywhere you meet with loss, and profits none.
On May sixth last year, Marfa suddenly got sick. She was breathing heavily, drinking a lot of water, and staggering. But the next morning, she lit the stove and even went to get water. By evening, she lay down. All day, Yakob had played the fiddle, and when it got dark, he picked up the book where he recorded his daily losses and, with nothing better to do, started to add them up. The total was more than a thousand roubles. The thought of such losses horrified him so much that he threw the book on the floor and stomped his feet. Then he picked up the book, snapped his fingers, and sighed heavily. His face was purple and sweaty. He thought that if that thousand roubles had been in the bank, the yearly interest would have been at least forty roubles. That meant the forty roubles were also a loss. In short, no matter where you look, all you find is loss, and no profits at all.
"Yakob," cried Marfa unexpectedly, "I am dying."
"Yakob," Marfa suddenly exclaimed, "I'm dying."
He glanced at his wife. Her face was red from fever and unusually clear and joyful; and Bronza, who was accustomed to see her pale, timid, and unhappy-looking, felt confused. It seemed as if she were indeed dying, and were happy in the knowledge that she was leaving for ever the cabin, the coffins, and Yakob. And now she looked at the ceiling and twitched her lips, as if she had seen Death her deliverer, and were whispering with him.
He glanced at his wife. Her face was red from fever and unusually bright and joyful; and Bronza, who was used to seeing her pale, timid, and unhappy, felt confused. It seemed as if she were truly dying and was happy knowing she was leaving behind the cabin, the coffins, and Yakob. Now she looked at the ceiling and twitched her lips, as if she had seen Death as her savior and was whispering with him.
Morning came; through the window might be seen the rising of the sun. Looking at his old wife, Yakob somehow remembered that all his life he had never treated her kindly, never caressed her, never pitied her, never thought of buying her a kerchief for her head, never carried away from the weddings a piece of tasty food, but only roared at her, abused her for his losses, and rushed at her with shut fists. True, he had never beaten her, but he had often frightened her out of her life and left her rooted to the ground with terror. Yes, and he had forbidden her to drink tea, as the losses without that were great enough; so she drank always hot water. And now, beginning to understand why she had such a strange, enraptured face, he felt uncomfortable.
Morning came; through the window, the rising sun could be seen. Looking at his old wife, Yakob suddenly realized that throughout his life, he had never treated her kindly, had never shown her affection, had never felt sorry for her, had never thought about buying her a headscarf, and had never brought home any tasty food from weddings. Instead, he just yelled at her, blamed her for his losses, and confronted her with clenched fists. True, he had never hit her, but he had often terrified her to the point of being frozen in fear. He had even forbidden her to drink tea, believing the losses were already too great; so she always drank hot water. Now, as he began to understand why she wore such a strange, blissful expression, he felt uneasy.
When the sun had risen high he borrowed a cart from a neighbour, and brought Marfa to the hospital. There were not many patients there, and he had to wait only three hours. To his joy he was received not by the doctor but by the feldscher, Maxim Nikolaitch, an old man of whom it was said that, although he was drunken and quarrelsome, he knew more than the doctor.
When the sun was quite high, he borrowed a cart from a neighbor and took Marfa to the hospital. There weren’t many patients there, so he only had to wait three hours. To his relief, he was seen not by the doctor but by the feldscher, Maxim Nikolaitch, an old man who was known to be drunken and argumentative, yet supposedly knew more than the doctor.
"May your health be good!" said Yakob, leading the old woman into the dispensary. "Forgive me, Maxim Nikolaitch, for troubling you with my empty affairs. But there, you can see for yourself my object is ill. The companion of my life, as they say, excuse the expression...."
"Hope you’re doing well!" Yakob said, guiding the old woman into the dispensary. "I’m sorry to bother you, Maxim Nikolaitch, with my trivial matters. But you can see for yourself that my purpose here is urgent. The companion of my life, as they say, pardon the phrase...."
Contracting his grey brows and smoothing his whiskers, the feldscher began to examine the old woman, who sat on the tabouret, bent, skinny, sharp-nosed, and with open mouth so that she resembled a bird that is about to drink.
Contracting his gray brows and smoothing his whiskers, the feldscher started to examine the old woman who was sitting on the stool—bent, thin, sharp-nosed, and with her mouth open as if she was a bird about to drink.
"So ..." said the feldscher slowly, and then sighed. "Influenza and may be a bit of a fever. There is typhus now in the town ... What can I do? She is an old woman, glory be to God.... How old?"
"So ..." the feldscher said slowly, then sighed. "It's the flu and maybe a bit of a fever. There’s typhus in the town now ... What can I do? She’s an old woman, thank God.... How old?"
"Sixty-nine years, Maxim Nikolaitch."
"Sixty-nine years, Maxim Nikolaitch."
"An old woman. It's high time for her."
"An old woman. It's about time for her."
"Of course! Your remark is very just," said Yakob, smiling out of politeness. "And I am sincerely grateful for your kindness; but allow me to make one remark; every insect is fond of life."
"Of course! Your comment is very true," said Yakob, smiling out of politeness. "And I genuinely appreciate your kindness; but let me say one thing: every insect loves life."
The feldscher replied in a tone which implied that upon him alone depended her life or death. "I will tell you what you'll do, friend; put on her head a cold compress, and give her these powders twice a day. And good-bye to you."
The feldscher responded in a way that suggested her life or death depended entirely on him. "Here's what you need to do, my friend: put a cold compress on her head and give her these powders twice a day. And that’s it for you."
By the expression of the feldscher's face, Yacob saw that it was a bad business, and that no powders would make it any better; it was quite plain to him that Marfa was beyond repair, and would assuredly die, if not to-day then to-morrow. He touched the feldscher on the arm, blinked his eyes, and said in a whisper: "Yes, Maxim Nikolaitch, but you will let her blood."
By the look on the feldscher's face, Yacob realized it was serious and that no medicine would fix it; it was clear to him that Marfa was beyond help and would definitely die, if not today then tomorrow. He touched the feldscher on the arm, blinked his eyes, and whispered, "Yes, Maxim Nikolaitch, but you will let her bleed."
"I have no time, no time, friend. Take your old woman, and God be with you!"
"I don’t have any time, no time, my friend. Take your old lady, and good luck to you!"
"Do me this one kindness!" implored Yakob. "You yourself know that if she merely had her stomach out of order, or some internal organ wrong, then powders and mixtures would cure; but she has caught cold. In cases of cold the first tiling is to bleed the patient."
"Please do me this one favor!" Yakob pleaded. "You know yourself that if her stomach was just upset or if there was something wrong with one of her internal organs, then powders and mixtures would fix it; but she has a cold. In cases of a cold, the first thing to do is to bleed the patient."
But the feldscher had already called for the next patient, and into the dispensary came a peasant woman with a little boy.
But the paramedic had already called for the next patient, and into the clinic walked a peasant woman with a young boy.
"Be off!" he said to Yakob, with a frown.
"Go away!" he said to Yakob, with a frown.
"At least try the effect of leeches. I will pray God eternally for you."
"At least give the leeches a chance. I'll pray for you forever."
The feldscher lost his temper, and roared: "Not another word."
The feldscher lost his cool and shouted, "Not another word."
Yakob also lost his temper, and grew purple in the face; but he said nothing more and took Marfa under his arm and led her out of the room. As soon as he had got her into the cart, he looked angrily and contemptuously at the hospital and said:
Yakob also lost his temper and turned purple in the face, but he said nothing more. He took Marfa under his arm and led her out of the room. Once he had her in the cart, he looked angrily and scornfully at the hospital and said:
"What an artist! He will let the blood of a rich man, but for a poor man grudges even a leech. Herod!"
"What an artist! He’ll take the blood of a rich man, but he wouldn’t spare a leech for a poor man. Herod!"
When they arrived home, and entered the cabin, Marfa stood for a moment holding on to the stove. She was afraid that if she were to lie down Yakob would begin to complain about his losses, and abuse her for lying in bed and doing no work. And Yakob looked at her with tedium in his soul and remembered that to-morrow was John the Baptist, and the day after Nikolai the Miracle-worker, and then came Sunday, and after that Monday—another idle day. For four days no work could be done, and Marfa would be sure to die on one of these days. Her coffin must be made to-day. He took the iron yardwand, went up to the old woman and took her measure. After that she lay down, and Yakob crossed himself, and began to make a coffin.
When they got home and walked into the cabin, Marfa paused for a moment, gripping the stove. She worried that if she lay down, Yakob would start complaining about his losses and scold her for lounging in bed instead of working. Yakob looked at her with annoyance and remembered that tomorrow was John the Baptist's day, and the day after was Nikolai the Miracle-worker's, followed by Sunday, and then Monday—another day off. For four days, there would be no work, and Marfa was bound to die during that time. Her coffin needed to be made today. He grabbed the iron yardstick, approached the old woman, and took her measurements. After that, she lay down, and Yakob crossed himself and began to make a coffin.
When the work was finished, Bronza put on his spectacles and wrote in his book of losses:
When the work was done, Bronza put on his glasses and wrote in his book of losses:
"Marfa Ivanova's coffin—2 roubles, 40 kopecks."
"Marfa Ivanova's coffin—2 rubles, 40 kopecks."
And he sighed. All the time Marfa had lain silently with her eyes closed. Towards evening, when it was growing dark, she called her husband:
And he sighed. Marfa had been lying quietly with her eyes closed the whole time. As evening approached and it began to get dark, she called her husband:
"Rememberest, Yakob?" she said, looking at him joyfully. "Rememberest, fifty years ago God gave us a baby with yellow hair. Thou and I then sat every day-by the river ... under the willow ... and sang songs." And laughing bitterly she added: "The child died."
"Do you remember, Yakob?" she said, looking at him happily. "Do you remember, fifty years ago, when God gave us a baby with yellow hair? You and I would sit by the river every day... under the willow... and sing songs." And laughing bitterly, she added: "The child died."
"That is all imagination," said Yakob.
"That's all in your head," said Yakob.
Later on came the priest, administered to Marfa the Sacrament and extreme unction. Marfa began to mutter something incomprehensible, and towards morning, died.
Later on, the priest arrived, performed the Sacrament and last rites for Marfa. Marfa started to mumble something that didn’t make sense, and by morning, she had passed away.
The old-women neighbours washed her, wrapped her in her winding sheet, and laid her out. To avoid having to pay the deacon's fee, Yakob himself read the psalms; and escaped a fee also at the graveyard, as the watchman there was his godfather. Four peasants carried the coffin free, out of respect for the deceased. After the coffin walked a procession of old women, beggars, and two cripples. The peasants on the road crossed themselves piously. And Yakob was very satisfied that everything passed off in honour, order, and cheapness, without offence to anyone. When saying good-bye for the last time to Marfa, he tapped the coffin with his fingers, and thought "An excellent piece of work."
The elderly neighbors cleaned her up, wrapped her in her burial cloth, and prepared her for the viewing. To avoid paying the deacon’s fee, Yakob read the psalms himself; he also managed to skip a fee at the graveyard since the watchman there was his godfather. Four peasants carried the coffin for free, out of respect for the deceased. Following the coffin was a group of old women, beggars, and two disabled individuals. The peasants along the road crossed themselves devoutly. Yakob felt very pleased that everything went smoothly, respectfully, and inexpensively, without offending anyone. When saying farewell to Marfa for the last time, he tapped the coffin with his fingers and thought, "An excellent piece of work."
But while he was returning from the graveyard he was overcome with extreme weariness. He felt unwell, he breathed feverishly and heavily, he could hardly stand on his feet. His brain was full of unaccustomed thoughts. He remembered again that he had never taken pity on Marfa and never caressed her. The fifty-two years during which they had lived in the same cabin stretched back to eternity, yet in the whole of that eternity he had never thought of her, never paid any attention to her, but treated her as if she were a cat or a dog. Yet every day she had lighted the stove, boiled and baked, fetched water, chopped wood, slept with him on the same bed; and when he returned drunk from weddings, she had taken his fiddle respectfully, and hung it on the wall, and put him to bed—all this silently with a timid, worried expression on her face. And now he felt that he could take pity on her, and would like to buy her a present, but it was too late....
But as he was coming back from the graveyard, he was hit with extreme exhaustion. He felt sick, breathing heavily and feverishly, and he could barely stay on his feet. His mind was filled with unfamiliar thoughts. He remembered once again that he had never shown Marfa any compassion and had never even comforted her. The fifty-two years they had spent in the same cabin felt like an eternity, yet throughout all that time, he had never considered her, never paid her any attention, treating her like she was just a cat or a dog. Still, every day she had lit the stove, cooked and baked, fetched water, chopped wood, and slept beside him in bed; and when he returned home drunk from weddings, she had carefully taken his fiddle, hung it on the wall, and tucked him into bed—all of this done quietly with a timid, worried expression on her face. And now he felt that he could finally show her some pity and wanted to buy her a gift, but it was too late…
Towards Yakob smiling and bowing came Rothschild. "I was looking for you, uncle," he said. "Moses Ilitch sends his compliments, and asks you to come across to him at once."
Towards Yakob, Rothschild approached with a smile and a bow. "I was searching for you, uncle," he said. "Moses Ilitch sends his regards and wants you to come see him right away."
Yakob felt inclined to cry.
Yakob felt like crying.
"Begone!" he shouted, and continued his path.
"Go away!" he shouted, and continued on his way.
"You can't mean that," cried Rothschild in alarm, running after him. "Moses Hitch will take offence! He wants you at once."
"You can't be serious," Rothschild exclaimed, running after him. "Moses Hitch is going to be upset! He needs you right away."
The way in which the Jew puffed and blinked, and the multitude of his red freckles awoke in Yakob disgust. He felt disgust, too, for his green frock-coat, with its black patches, and his whole fragile, delicate figure.
The way the Jew huffed and blinked, along with all his red freckles, made Yakob feel sick. He also felt repulsed by his green frock coat with its black patches and his whole weak, delicate frame.
"What do you mean by coming after me, garlic?" he shouted. "Keep off!"
"What do you mean by coming after me, garlic?" he yelled. "Stay away!"
The Jew also grew angry, and cried:
The Jew got angry and shouted:
"If you don't take care to be a little politer I will send you flying over the fence."
"If you don't watch your manners, I'm going to toss you over the fence."
"Out of my sight!" roared Yakob, rushing on him with clenched fists. "Out of my sight, abortion, or I will beat the soul out of your cursed body! I have no peace with Jews."
"Get out of my sight!" yelled Yakob, charging at him with his fists clenched. "Get out of my sight, you worthless piece of trash, or I'll beat the life out of you! I can't stand Jews."
Rothschild was frozen with terror; he squatted down and waved his arms above his head, as if warding off blows, and then jumped up and ran for his life. While running he hopped, and flourished his hands; and the twitching of his long, fleshless spine could plainly be seen. The boys in the street were delighted with the incident, and rushed after him, crying, "Jew! Jew!" The dogs pursued him with loud barks. Someone laughed, then someone whistled, and the dogs barked louder and louder. Then, it must have been, a dog bit Rothschild, for there rang out a sickly, despairing cry.
Rothschild was paralyzed with fear; he crouched down and waved his arms above his head, as if trying to block hits, and then jumped up and ran for his life. As he ran, he hopped and flailed his hands; the twitching of his long, bony back was clearly visible. The boys in the street were thrilled by the scene and chased after him, shouting, "Jew! Jew!" The dogs chased him with loud barks. Someone laughed, then someone whistled, and the dogs barked even louder. Then, it seemed a dog bit Rothschild, and he let out a sickly, desperate scream.
Yakob walked past the common, and then along the outskirts of the town; and the street boys cried, "Bronza! Bronza!" With a piping note snipe flew around him, and ducks quacked. The sun baked everything, and from the water came scintillations so bright that it was painful to look at. Yakob walked along the path by the side of the river, and watched a stout, red-cheeked lady come out of the bathing-place. Not far from the bathing-place sat a group of boys catching crabs with meat; and seeing him they cried maliciously, "Bronza! Bronza!" And at this moment before him rose a thick old willow with an immense hollow in it, and on it a raven's nest.... And suddenly in Yakob's mind awoke the memory of the child with the yellow hair of whom Marfa had spoken.... Yes, it was the same willow, green, silent, sad.... How it had aged, poor thing!
Yakob walked past the park and then along the edge of the town; the street kids shouted, "Bronza! Bronza!" A snipe flew around him with a high-pitched call, and ducks quacked nearby. The sun was blazing down, creating such bright reflections off the water that it hurt to look. Yakob strolled along the path by the river and saw a sturdy, red-cheeked woman emerge from the swimming area. Not far from the swimming area, a group of boys was catching crabs with bits of meat, and when they spotted him, they called out mockingly, "Bronza! Bronza!" At that moment, he noticed a thick old willow tree with a huge hollow in it, and on it was a raven's nest... Suddenly, a memory of the child with yellow hair that Marfa had mentioned came back to Yakob's mind... Yes, it was the same willow, green, quiet, and sorrowful... How it had aged, poor thing!
He sat underneath it, and began to remember. On the other bank, where was now a flooded meadow, there then stood a great birch forest, and farther away, where the now bare hill glimmered on the horizon, was an old pine wood. Up and down the river went barges. But now everything was flat and smooth; on the opposite bank stood only a single birch, young and shapely, like a girl; and on the river were only ducks and geese where once had floated barges. It seemed that since those days even the geese had become smaller. Yakob closed his eyes, and in imagination saw flying towards him an immense flock of white geese.
He sat underneath it and started to reminisce. On the other side of the river, where there was now a flooded meadow, there used to be a big birch forest, and farther away, where the now barren hill shimmered on the horizon, was an old pine forest. Barges used to travel up and down the river. But now everything was flat and smooth; on the opposite bank stood just one single birch, young and graceful, like a girl; and on the river, there were only ducks and geese where barges once floated. It felt like, since those days, even the geese had gotten smaller. Yakob closed his eyes and, in his imagination, saw a massive flock of white geese flying toward him.
He began to wonder how it was that in the last forty or fifty years of his life he had never been near the river, or if he had, had never noticed it. Yet it was a respectable river, and by no means contemptible; it would have been possible to fish in it, and the fish might have been sold to tradesmen, officials, and the attendant at the railway station buffet, and the money could have been lodged in the bank; he might have used it for rowing from country-house to country-house and playing on the fiddle, and everyone would have paid him money; he might even have tried to act as bargee—it would have been better than making coffins; he might have kept geese, killed them and sent them to Moscow in the winter-time—from the feathers alone he would have made as much as ten roubles a year. But he had yawned away his life, and done nothing. What losses! Akh, what losses! and if he hod done all together—caught fish, played on the fiddle, acted as bargee, and kept geese—what a sum he would have amassed! But he had never even dreamed of this; life had passed without profits, without any satisfaction; everything had passed away unnoticed; before him nothing remained. But look backward—nothing but losses, such losses that to think of them it makes the blood run cold. And why cannot a man live without these losses? Why had the birch wood and the pine forest both been cut down? Why is the common pasture unused? Why do people do exactly what they ought not to do? Why did he all his life scream, roar, clench his fists, insult his wife? For what imaginable purpose did he frighten and insult the Jew? Why, indeed, do people prevent one another living in peace? All these are also losses! Terrible losses! If it were not for hatred and malice people would draw from one another incalculable profits.
He started to think about how, in the last forty or fifty years of his life, he had never been close to the river, or if he had, he never really paid attention to it. Yet it was a decent river, nothing to scoff at; he could have fished in it, and sold the catch to tradespeople, officials, and the guy at the train station café, then stashed the money in the bank. He could have used it to row from one country house to another and played the fiddle, and everyone would have tipped him. He might have even tried working as a bargee—it would have been better than making coffins. He could have raised geese, slaughtered them, and sent them to Moscow in winter—just from the feathers alone, he would have made about ten rubles a year. But he had wasted his life away and done nothing. What a waste! Oh, what a waste! And if he had done it all—fished, played the fiddle, worked as a bargee, and kept geese—what a fortune he could have built up! But he never even thought about it; life passed by without any gain, without any fulfillment; everything slipped away unnoticed; now nothing remained in front of him. But looking back—only losses, such losses that just thinking about them sends chills down his spine. Why can't a person live without these losses? Why were the birch wood and pine forest cut down? Why is the common pasture left unused? Why do people do exactly what they shouldn't do? Why did he spend his life shouting, screaming, clenching his fists, and insulting his wife? What possible reason did he have for scaring and insulting the Jew? Why, indeed, do people get in the way of each other’s peace? All of these are losses too! Terrible losses! If it weren't for hatred and malice, people could gain unimaginable benefits from one another.
Evening and night, twinkled in Yakob's brain the willow, the fish, the dead geese, Marfa with her profile like that of a bird about to drink, the pale, pitiable face of Rothschild, and an army of snouts thrusting themselves out of the darkness and muttering about losses. He shifted from side to side, and five times in the night rose from his bed and played on the fiddle.
Evening and night, Yakob's mind sparkled with images of the willow, the fish, the dead geese, Marfa with her profile like a bird about to drink, Rothschild's pale, pitiful face, and an army of snouts pushing out of the darkness and murmuring about losses. He tossed and turned, and five times during the night, he got up from his bed and played the fiddle.
In the morning he rose with an effort and went to the hospital. The same Maxim Nikolaitch ordered him to bind his head with a cold compress, and gave him powders; and by the expression of his face and by his tone Yakob saw that it was a bad business, and that no powders would make it any better. But upon his way home he reflected that from death at least there would be one profit; it would no longer be necessary to eat, to drink, to pay taxes, or to injure others; and as a man lies in his grave not one year, but hundreds and thousands of years, the profit was enormous. The life of man was, in short, a loss, and only his death a profit. Yet this consideration, though entirely just, was offensive and bitter; for why in this world is it so ordered that life, which is given to a man only once, passes by without profit?
In the morning, he woke up with difficulty and went to the hospital. Maxim Nikolaitch instructed him to wrap his head with a cold compress and gave him some medicine; from the look on his face and his tone, Yakob realized it was serious, and that no medicine would help. On his way home, he thought that at least there would be one benefit to dying: he wouldn't have to eat, drink, pay taxes, or harm others anymore; and since a person lies in their grave not for just one year, but for hundreds and thousands of years, the benefit was substantial. Life was, in essence, a loss, and only death brought a profit. Yet, even though this idea was completely rational, it was upsetting and painful; why is it set up this way in the world, that a life, given to a person only once, goes by without any gain?
He did not regret dying, but as soon as he arrived home and saw his fiddle, his heart fell, and he felt sorry. The fiddle could not be taken to the grave; it must remain an orphan, and the same thing would happen with it as had happened with the birch wood and the pineforest. Everything in this world decayed, and would decay! Yakob went to the door of the hut and sat upon the thresholdstone, pressing his fiddle to his shoulder. Still thinking of life, full of decay and full of losses, he began to play, and as the tune poured out plaintively and touchingly, the tears flowed down his cheeks. And the harder he thought, the sadder was the song of the fiddle.
He didn’t regret dying, but as soon as he got home and saw his fiddle, his heart sank, and he felt a wave of sadness. The fiddle couldn’t go to the grave with him; it would have to stay behind, just like the birch wood and the pine forest. Everything in this world decayed, and would continue to decay! Yakob went to the door of the hut and sat on the threshold stone, pressing his fiddle to his shoulder. Still thinking about life, full of decay and losses, he began to play. As the tune flowed out mournfully and beautifully, tears streamed down his face. And the more he thought, the sadder the song of the fiddle became.
The latch creaked twice, and in the wicket door appeared Rothschild. The first half of the yard he crossed boldly, but seeing Yakob, he stopped short, shrivelled up, and apparently from fright began to make signs as if he wished to tell the time with his fingers.
The latch creaked twice, and Rothschild appeared at the small door. He confidently crossed the first half of the yard, but when he saw Yakob, he froze, shrank back, and seemingly out of fear, began to gesture as if he wanted to indicate the time with his fingers.
"Come on, don't be afraid," said Yakob kindly, beckoning him. "Come!"
"Come on, don’t be scared," Yakob said kindly, waving him over. "Come!"
With a look of distrust and terror Rothschild drew near and stopped about two yards away. "Don't beat me, Yakob, it is not my fault!" he said, with a bow. "Moses Hitch has sent me again. 'Don't be afraid!' he said, 'go to Yakob again and tell him that without him we cannot possibly get on.' The wedding is on Wednesday. Shapovaloff's daughter is marrying a wealthy man.... It will be a first-class wedding," added the Jew, blinking one eye.
With a look of distrust and fear, Rothschild approached and stopped about two yards away. "Please don't hit me, Yakob, it's not my fault!" he said, bowing. "Moses Hitch sent me again. 'Don't worry!' he said, 'go to Yakob again and tell him that we can't possibly move forward without him.' The wedding is on Wednesday. Shapovaloff's daughter is marrying a rich guy.... It will be a top-notch wedding," added the Jew, winking.
"I cannot go," answered Yakob, breathing heavily. "I am ill, brother."
"I can't go," Yakob replied, breathing heavily. "I'm sick, brother."
And again he took his bow, and the tears burst from his eyes and fell upon the fiddle. Rothschild listened attentively, standing by his side with arms folded upon his chest. The distrustful, terrified expression upon his face little by little changed into a look of suffering and grief, he rolled his eyes as if in an ecstacy of torment, and ejaculated "Wachchch!" And the tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and made little black patches on his green frock-coat.
And again he picked up his bow, tears streaming from his eyes and dripping onto the fiddle. Rothschild listened intently, standing beside him with his arms crossed over his chest. The wary, fearful look on his face gradually shifted to a look of pain and sorrow, his eyes rolling as if caught in a frenzy of anguish, and he exclaimed, "Wachchch!" The tears slowly trickled down his cheeks, leaving small dark spots on his green frock coat.
All day long Yakob lay in bed and worried. With evening came the priest, and, confessing him, asked whether he had any particular sin which he would like to confess; and Yakob exerted his fading memory, and remembering Marfa's unhappy face, and the Jew's despairing cry when he was bitten by the dog, said in a hardly audible voice:
All day long, Yakob lay in bed, feeling anxious. In the evening, the priest arrived and, after hearing his confession, asked if there was a specific sin he wanted to address. Yakob strained to recall, and thinking of Marfa’s sorrowful face and the Jew’s desperate cry when he got bitten by the dog, he said quietly:
"Give the fiddle to Rothschild."
"Give the violin to Rothschild."
And now in the town everyone asks: Where did Rothschild get such an excellent fiddle? Did he buy it or steal it ... or did he get it in pledge? Long ago he abandoned his flute, and now plays on the fiddle only. From beneath his bow issue the same mournful sounds as formerly came from the flute; but when he tries to repeat the tune that Yakob played when he sat on the threshold stone, the fiddle emits sounds so passionately sad and full of grief that the listeners weep; and he himself rolls his eyes and ejaculates "Wachchch!" ... But this new song so pleases everyone in the town that wealthy traders and officials never fail to engage Rothschild for their social gatherings, and even force him to play it as many as ten times.
And now in town, everyone is asking: Where did Rothschild get such an amazing fiddle? Did he buy it, steal it, or did he get it as a pawn? A long time ago, he gave up his flute and now only plays the fiddle. From his bow come the same mournful sounds that used to come from the flute; but when he tries to recreate the tune that Yakob played while sitting on the threshold stone, the fiddle produces such passionately sad and sorrowful sounds that the listeners end up in tears; and he himself rolls his eyes and exclaims "Wachchch!" ... But this new song is so loved by everyone in town that wealthy traders and officials always make sure to invite Rothschild to their gatherings, even insisting that he play it as many as ten times.
A FATHER
"I don't deny it; I have had a drop too much. ... Forgive me; the fact is I happened to pass by the public, and, all owing to the heat, I drank a couple of bottles. It's hot, brother!"
"I won’t deny it; I’ve had a bit too much to drink. ... I'm sorry; the truth is I passed by the bar, and because of the heat, I ended up drinking a couple of bottles. It's really hot, man!"
Old Musátoff took a rag from his pocket, and wiped the sweat from his clean-shaven, dissipated face.
Old Musátoff took a rag from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his clean-shaven, worn-out face.
"I have come to you, Bórenka, angel mine, just for a minute," he continued, looking at his son, "on very important business. Forgive me if I am in the way. Tell me, my soul ... do you happen to have ten roubles to spare till Tuesday? You understand me ... yesterday I ought to have paid for the rooms, but the money question ... you understand. Not a kopeck!"
"I've come to you, Bórenka, my angel, just for a minute," he continued, glancing at his son, "about something really important. Sorry if I'm interrupting. Tell me, my dear... do you happen to have ten roubles I could borrow until Tuesday? You get what I mean... I should have paid for the rooms yesterday, but the money situation... you know how it is. Not a single kopeck!"
Young Musátoff went out silently, and behind the door began a whispered consultation with his housekeeper and the colleagues in the Civil Service with whom he shared the villa. In a minute he returned, and silently handed his father a ten-rouble note. The old gentleman took it carelessly, and without looking at it thrust it into his pocket, and said:
Young Musátoff went outside quietly, and behind the door started a hushed discussion with his housekeeper and the colleagues in the Civil Service who shared the villa with him. In a minute, he came back and silently handed his father a ten-rouble note. The old gentleman took it nonchalantly, and without glancing at it, shoved it into his pocket and said:
"Merci! And how is the world using you? We haven't met for ages."
"Thanks! And how is life treating you? It's been ages since we last met."
"Yes, it is a long time—since All Saints' Day."
"Yeah, it’s been a while—since All Saints' Day."
"Five times I did my best to get over to you, but never could get time. First one matter, then another ... simply ruination. But, Boris, I may confess it, I am not telling the truth.... I lie.... I always lie. Don't believe me, Bórenka. I promised to let you have the ten roubles back on Tuesday; don't believe that either! Don't believe a single word I say! I have no business matters at all, simply idleness, drink, and shame to show myself in the street in this get-up. But you, Bórenka, will forgive me. Three times I sent the girl for money, and wrote you piteous letters. For the money, thanks! But don't believe the letters.... I lied. It hurts me to plunder you in this way, angel mine; I know that you can hardly make both ends meet, and live—so to say—on locusts. But with impudence like mine you can do nothing. A rascal who only shows his face when he wants money!... Forgive me, Bórenka, I tell you the plain truth, because I cannot look with indifference upon your angel face...."
"Five times I tried to reach out to you, but I never found the time. One thing after another... it's just ruined me. But, Boris, I have to confess, I’m not being honest.... I lie.... I always lie. Don't believe me, Bórenka. I promised I’d return the ten roubles by Tuesday; don’t trust that either! Don’t take a single word I say at face value! I have no business going on, just idleness, drinking, and the embarrassment of being seen in this state. But you, Bórenka, will forgive me. Three times I sent the girl for money and wrote you desperate letters. Thanks for the money! But don’t believe the letters.... I lied. It pains me to take advantage of you like this, my angel; I know you can barely get by, living—so to speak—on scraps. But with my shamelessness, there's nothing you can do. A scoundrel who only shows up when he needs money!... Forgive me, Bórenka, I’m telling you the truth, because I can’t look at your angelic face without feeling it...."
A minute passed in silence. The old man sighed deeply, and began:
A minute went by in silence. The old man let out a deep sigh and started to speak:
"Let us make the supposition, brother, that you were to treat me to a glass of beer."
"Let’s say, brother, that you were to buy me a glass of beer."
Without a word, Boris again went out and whispered outside the door. The beer was brought in. At the sight of the bottle Musátoff enlivened, and suddenly changed his tone.
Without saying anything, Boris stepped outside and whispered by the door. The beer was brought in. When Musátoff saw the bottle, he perked up and suddenly changed his tone.
"The other day I was at the races," he began, making frightened faces. "There were three of us, and together we put in the totalisator a three-rouble note on Shustri.[1] And good luck to Shustri! With the risk of one rouble we each got back thirty-two. It is a noble sport. The old woman always pitches into me about the races, but I go. I love it!"
"The other day I went to the races," he started, making scared expressions. "There were three of us, and together we bet a three-rouble note on Shustri.[1] And good luck to Shustri! With the risk of one rouble, we each got back thirty-two. It's a great sport. The old woman always lectures me about the races, but I still go. I love it!"
[1] Rapid.
Fast.
Boris, a young fair-haired man, with a sad, apathetic face, walked from corner to corner, and listened silently. When Musátoff interrupted his story in order to cough, he went up to him and said:
Boris, a young blonde guy with a sad, indifferent expression, paced from corner to corner, listening quietly. When Musátoff paused his story to cough, he approached him and said:
"The other day, papa, I bought myself a new pair of boots, but they turned out too small. I wish you would take them off my hands. I will let you have them cheap!"
"The other day, Dad, I bought myself a new pair of boots, but they ended up being too small. I wish you would take them off my hands. I'll sell them to you for a good price!"
"I shall be charmed!" said the old man, with a grimace. "Only for the same price—without any reduction."
"I'll be delighted!" said the old man, making a face. "But only for the same price—no discounts."
"Very well.... We will regard that as a loan also."
"Alright... We'll consider that a loan too."
Boris stretched his arm under the bed, and pulled out the new boots. Old Musátoff removed his own awkward brown shoes—plainly someone else's—and tried the new boots on.
Boris reached under the bed and pulled out the new boots. Old Musátoff took off his own clumsy brown shoes—clearly someone else's—and tried on the new boots.
"Like a shot!" he exclaimed. "Your hand on it. ... I'll take them. On Tuesday, when I get my pension, I'll send the money.... But I may as well confess, I lie." He resumed his former piteous tone. "About the races I lied, and about the pension I lie. You are deceiving me, Bórenka.... I see very well through your magnanimous pretext. I can see through you! The boots are too small for you because your heart is too large! Akh, Borya, Borya, I understand it ... and I feel it!"
"Just like that!" he said. "You can count on it. ... I’ll take them. On Tuesday, when I get my pension, I’ll send the money.... But I might as well admit, I’m lying." He went back to his earlier pitiful tone. "I lied about the races, and I’m lying about the pension. You’re tricking me, Bórenka.... I see right through your noble excuse. I can see through you! The boots are too small for you because your heart is too big! Oh, Borya, Borya, I get it ... and I feel it!"
"You have gone to your new rooms?" asked Boris, with the object of changing the subject. "Yes, brother, into the new rooms.... Every month we shift. With a character like the old woman's we cannot stay anywhere."
"You've moved into your new rooms?" Boris asked, trying to change the topic. "Yeah, brother, into the new rooms.... We move every month. With a character like the old woman's, we can't stay anywhere."
"I have been at the old rooms. But now I want to ask you to come to the country. In your state of health it will do you good to be in the fresh air." Musátoff waved his hand. "The old woman wouldn't let me go, and myself I don't care to. A hundred times you have tried to drag me out of the pit.... I have tried to drag myself ... but the devil an improvement! Give it up! In the pit I'll die as I have lived. At this moment I sit in front of you and look at your angel face ... yet I am being dragged down into the pit. It's destiny, brother! You can't get flies from a dunghill to a rose bush. No. ... Well, I'm off ... it's getting dark."
"I’ve been at the old place. But now I want to invite you to come to the countryside. With your health the way it is, being in the fresh air will really help you." Musátoff waved his hand. "The old woman wouldn’t let me go, and honestly, I don’t want to. A hundred times you’ve tried to pull me out of this hole... I’ve tried to pull myself out... but no luck! Just give it up! I’ll die in this hole just like I’ve lived. Right now, I’m sitting here looking at your angelic face... yet I’m being pulled down into the hole. It’s fate, brother! You can’t get flies from a dung heap to a rose bush. No... Well, I’m leaving... it’s getting dark."
"If you wait a minute, well go together. I have business in town myself."
"If you wait a minute, we’ll go together. I have some things to take care of in town too."
Musátoff and his son put on their coats, and went out. By the time they had found a droschky it was quite dark, and the windows were lighted up.
Musátoff and his son put on their coats and went outside. By the time they found a cab, it was pretty dark, and the windows were lit up.
"I know I'm ruining you, Bórenka," stammered the father. "My poor, poor children! What an affliction to be cursed with such a father! Bórenka, angel mine, I cannot lie when I see your face. Forgive me!... To what a pass, my God, has impudence brought me! This very minute I have taken your money, and shamed you with my drunken face; your brothers also I spunge on and put to shame. If you had seen me yesterday! I won't hide anything, Bórenka. Yesterday our neighbours—all the rascality, in short—came in to see the old woman. I drank with them, and actually abused you behind your back, and complained that you had neglected me. I tried, you understand, to get the drunken old women to pity me, and played the part of an unhappy father. That's my besetting sin; when I want to hide my faults, I heap them on the heads of my innocent children.... But I cannot lie to you, Bórenka, or hide things. I came to you in pride, but when I had felt your kindness and all-mercifulness, my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth, and all my conscience turned upside down."
"I know I'm ruining you, Bórenka," the father stammered. "My poor, poor children! What a curse it is to have a father like me! Bórenka, my angel, I can't lie when I see your face. Forgive me!... Just look at how low I've sunk, my God, because of my arrogance! Right now, I've taken your money and embarrassed you with my drunkenness; I’m also a burden to your brothers and have shamed them too. If only you had seen me yesterday! I won't hide anything from you, Bórenka. Yesterday, all the neighbors—basically all the troublemakers—came over to see the old woman. I drank with them and even talked trash about you behind your back, claiming you had abandoned me. I tried to get those drunken old ladies to feel sorry for me, pretending to be the poor, unfortunate father. That’s my biggest flaw; when I want to cover up my mistakes, I unload them on my innocent kids.... But I can't lie to you, Bórenka, or hide things. I came to you full of pride, but once I felt your kindness and compassion, I was left speechless, and my conscience turned upside down."
"Yes, father, but let us talk about something else."
"Yeah, Dad, but let’s discuss something different."
"Mother of God, what children I have!" continued the old man, paying no attention to his son, "What a glory the Lord has sent me! Such children should be sent not to me, a good-for-nothing, but to a real man with a soul and a heart. I am not worthy of it!"
"Mother of God, what children I have!" the old man kept saying, ignoring his son. "What a blessing the Lord has given me! Children like these deserve a better father, not a useless man like me, but someone who truly has a soul and a heart. I don't deserve this!"
Musátoff took off his cap and crossed himself piously thrice.
Musátoff removed his hat and crossed himself reverently three times.
"Glory be to Thee, O God!" he sighed, looking around as if seeking an ikon. "Astonishing, priceless children! Three sons I have, and all of them the same! Sober, serious, diligent—and what intellects! Cabman, what intellects! Gregory alone has as much brains as ten ordinary men. French ... and German ... he speaks both ... and you never get tired of listening. Children, children mine, I cannot believe that you are mine at all! I don't believe it! You, Bórenka, are a very martyr! I am ruining you ... before long I shall have mined you. You give me money without end, although you know very well that not a kopeck goes on necessaries. Only the other day I sent you a piteous letter about my illness.... But I lied; the money was wanted to buy rum. Yet you gave it to me sooner than offend your old father with a refusal. All this I know ... and feel ... Grisha also is a martyr. On Thursday, angel mine, I went to his office, drunk, dirty, ragged ... smelling of vodka like a cellar. I went straight up to him and began in my usual vulgar slang, although he was with the other clerks, the head of the department—and petitioners all around! Disgraced him for his whole life!.. Yet he never got the least confused, only a little pale; he smiled, and got up from his desk as if nothing were wrong—even introduced me to his colleagues. And he brought me the whole way home, without a word of reproach! I spunge on him even worse than on you!
"Glory to You, O God!" he sighed, looking around as if searching for an icon. "Amazingly priceless kids! I have three sons, and they’re all the same! Sober, serious, hardworking—and what intellects! Cab driver, what intellects! Gregory alone has as much brainpower as ten average men. He speaks French and German... and you never get tired of listening to him. My dear children, I can’t believe you’re really mine! I just don’t believe it! You, Bórenka, are a true martyr! I’m ruining you... soon, I’ll have completely drained you. You give me endless money, even though you know none of it goes towards necessities. Just the other day, I sent you a pathetic letter about my illness... But I lied; the money was actually for rum. Still, you gave it to me rather than upset your old father with a refusal. I know all this... and feel it... Grisha too is a martyr. On Thursday, my angel, I showed up at his office drunk, dirty, and ragged... smelling of vodka like a cellar. I marched right up to him and started with my usual crude language, even though he was with other clerks and the head of the department—with petitioners all around! I embarrassed him for life! Yet he didn’t even flinch, just got a little pale; he smiled and got up from his desk as if nothing was wrong—even introduced me to his colleagues. And he walked me all the way home without a word of blame! I take advantage of him even more than I do you!
"Then take your brother, Sasha! There's another martyr! Married to a colonel's daughter, moving in a circle of aristocrats, with a dot ... and everything else.... He, at any rate, you would think would have nothing to do with me. Well, brother, what does he do? When he gets married the very first thing after the wedding he comes to me with his young wife, and pays me the first visit ... to my lair, to the lair ... I swear to God!"
"Then take your brother, Sasha! There's another martyr! Married to a colonel's daughter, hanging out with aristocrats, with a dowry... and everything else. You'd think he would want nothing to do with me. But, brother, what does he do? Right after the wedding, the very first thing he does is come to see me with his new wife, paying me the first visit... to my place, to my den... I swear to God!"
The old man began to sob, but soon laughed again.
The old man started to cry, but soon he was laughing again.
"At the very moment, as the fates would have it, when we were eating scraped radishes and kvas, and frying fish, with a stench in the room enough to stink out the devil. I was lying drunk as usual, and the old woman jumps up and greets them with a face the colour of beefsteak ... in one word, a scandal. But Sasha bore it all."
"At that very moment, as fate would have it, when we were eating grated radishes and drinking kvas, and frying fish, with a smell in the room strong enough to chase the devil away. I was lying there drunk as usual, and the old woman jumped up and greeted them with a face that looked like raw meat ... in short, it was a mess. But Sasha handled it all."
"Yes, our Sasha is a good man," said Boris.
"Yeah, our Sasha is a good guy," said Boris.
"Incomparable! You are all of you gold, both you and Grisha, and Sasha and Sonia. I torture, pester, disgrace, and spunge on you, yet in my whole life I have never heard a word of reproach, or seen a single sidelong look. If you had a decent father it would be different, but ... You have never had anything from me but evil. I am a wicked, dissolute man.... Now, thank God, I have quieted down, and have no character left in me, but formerly, when you were little children, I had a character and no mistake. Whatever I said or did seemed to me gospel! I remember! I used to come back late from the club, drunk and irritated, and begin to abuse your poor mother about the household expenses. I would keep on at her all night, and imagine that she was in the wrong; in the morning you would get up and go to school, but all the time I would keep on showing her that I had a character. Heaven rest her soul, how I tortured the poor martyr! And when you came back from school and found me asleep you weren't allowed your dinner until I got up. And after dinner the same music! Primps you remember. May God forbid that anyone else should be cursed with such a father! He sent you to me as a blessing. A blessing! Continue in this way, children, to the end. Honour thy father that thy days may be long in the land! For your goodness Heaven will reward you with long life! Cabman, stop!"
"Incomparable! You’re all amazing, you, Grisha, Sasha, and Sonia. I annoy, pressure, shame, and take advantage of you, yet in my entire life, I’ve never heard a word of complaint or seen a single disapproving look. If you had a decent father, things would be different, but... You’ve only gotten negativity from me. I’m a terrible, reckless person... Thank God I’ve calmed down now, and I’ve got no spirit left in me, but back when you were little kids, I definitely had a character. Everything I said or did felt like a matter of principle! I remember! I used to come home late from the club, drunk and agitated, and start blaming your poor mother for spending too much on household expenses. I’d go on all night, convinced she was at fault; in the morning you’d get up and go to school, while I’d keep insisting I had a character. May her soul rest in peace, I really tortured that poor woman! And when you came home from school and found me asleep, you weren’t allowed to have dinner until I woke up. And it was the same story after dinner! You remember the fuss. God forbid anyone else should have to deal with such a father! He sent you to me as a blessing. A blessing! Keep being good, kids, to the end. Honor your father so that you may live long in the land! For your goodness, Heaven will reward you with long life! Cabman, stop!"
Musátoff alighted and ran into a beerhouse. After a delay of half an hour he returned, grunted tipsily, and took his seat.
Musátoff got off and hurried into a bar. After half an hour, he came back, tipsily grunted, and sat down.
"And where is Sonia now?" he asked. "Still at the boarding-school?"
"And where is Sonia now?" he asked. "Is she still at the boarding school?"
"No, she finished last May. She lives now with Sasha's aunt."
"No, she graduated last May. She now lives with Sasha's aunt."
"What?" exclaimed the old man. "Left school? And a glorious girl, God bless her—went with her brothers. Akh, Bórenka, no mother, no one to console her! Tell me, Bórenka, does she know ... does she know that I am alive? Eh?"
"What?" the old man exclaimed. "She left school? And a wonderful girl, God bless her—went with her brothers. Akh, Bórenka, no mother, no one to comfort her! Tell me, Bórenka, does she know ... does she know that I’m still alive? Eh?"
Boris did not answer. Five minutes passed in deep silence. The old man sobbed, wiped his face with a rag, and said:
Boris didn’t respond. Five minutes went by in complete silence. The old man cried softly, wiped his face with a rag, and said:
"I love her, Bórenka! She was the only daughter, and in old age there is no consolation like a daughter. If I could only see her for a moment. Tell me, Bórenka, may I?"
"I love her, Bórenka! She was the only daughter, and as we get older, there's no comfort like having a daughter. If only I could see her for a moment. Please tell me, Bórenka, can I?"
"Of course, whenever you like."
"Sure, whenever you want."
"And she won't object?"
"And she won't mind?"
"Of course not; she herself went to look for you."
"Of course not; she went to find you herself."
"I swear to God! There is a nest of angels! Cabman, eh? Arrange it, Bórenka, angel! Of course she is a young lady now, délicatesse ... consommé, and all that sort of thing in the noble style. So I can't see her in this get-up. But all this, Bórenka, we can arrange. For three days I won't taste a drop—that'll bring my accursed drunken snout into shape. Then I will go to your place and put on a suit of your clothes, and get a shave and have my hair cut. Then you will drive over and take me with you? Is it agreed?"
"I swear! There’s a nest of angels! Cab driver, right? Make it happen, Bórenka, angel! Of course, she’s a young lady now, delicacy ... consommé, and all that fancy stuff in the noble style. So I can't see her like this. But don’t worry, Bórenka, we can work this out. For three days, I won't drink a drop—that’ll get my cursed drunken self back in shape. Then I’ll come to your place, put on your clothes, get a shave, and have my hair cut. Then you’ll drive over and take me with you? Is it a deal?"
"All right."
"Okay."
"Cabman, stop!"
"Taxi, pull over!"
The old man jumped out of the carriage and ran into another beershop. Before they reached his lodgings he visited two more; and every time his son waited silently and patiently. When, having dismissed the cabman, they crossed the broad, muddy yard to the rooms of the "old woman," Musátoff looked contused and guilty, grunted timidly, and smacked his lips.
The old man jumped out of the carriage and ran into another bar. Before they got to his place, he stopped at two more; and each time, his son waited quietly and patiently. When, after paying the cab driver, they crossed the wide, muddy yard to the "old woman’s" rooms, Musátoff looked confused and guilty, grunted shyly, and smacked his lips.
"Bórenka," he began, in an imploring voice, "if the old woman says anything of that kind to you—you understand—don't pay any attention to her. And be polite to her. She is very ignorant and impertinent, but not a bad sort at bottom. She has a good, warm heart."
"Bórenka," he started, in a pleading tone, "if the old woman says anything like that to you—you know what I mean—just ignore her. And be nice to her. She’s really clueless and kind of rude, but she means well deep down. She has a good, warm heart."
They crossed the yard and entered a dark hall. The door squeaked, the kitchen smelt, the samovar smoked, and shrill voices were heard.... While they passed through the kitchen Boris noticed only the black smoke, a rope with washing spread out, and the chimney of a samovar, through the chinks of which burst golden sparks.
They walked across the yard and stepped into a dim hallway. The door squeaked, the kitchen had a strong smell, the samovar was steaming, and loud voices could be heard.... As they went through the kitchen, Boris only noticed the black smoke, a rope with laundry hanging, and the chimney of a samovar, from which golden sparks burst through the cracks.
"This is my cell," said Musátoff, bowing his head, and showing his son into a little, low-ceilinged room, filled with atmosphere unbearable from proximity to the kitchen. At a table sat three women, helping one another to food. Seeing the guest, they looked at one another and stopped eating.
"This is my room," said Musátoff, lowering his head and leading his son into a small, cramped space with a low ceiling, filled with an unpleasant smell from the nearby kitchen. Three women were sitting at a table, assisting each other with food. When they noticed the guest, they exchanged glances and paused their meal.
"Well, did you get it?" asked one, apparently "the old woman," roughly.
"Well, did you get it?" one of them asked, sounding like "the old woman."
"Got it, got it," stammered the old man. "Now, Boris, do us the honour! Sit down! With us, brother—young man—everything is simple.... We live in a simple way."
"Got it, got it," the old man stuttered. "Now, Boris, do us the favor! Sit down! Join us, brother—young man—everything is straightforward... We live simply."
Musátoff fussed about without any visible reason. He was ashamed before his son, and at the same time apparently wished to bear himself before the women as a man of importance and a forsaken, unhappy father.
Musátoff paced around without any clear reason. He felt embarrassed in front of his son, and at the same time, he seemed to want to present himself to the women as an important man and a lonely, suffering father.
"Yes, brother mine—young man—we live simply, without show-off," he stammered. "We are plain folk, young man.... We are not like you ... we do, not trouble to throw dust in other people's eyes. No!... A drop of vodka, eh?"
"Yes, my brother—young man—we live simply, without any need to show off," he stuttered. "We're just regular folks, young man.... We're not like you ... we don’t bother to deceive others. No!... How about a shot of vodka, eh?"
One of the women, ashamed of drinking before a stranger, sighed and said:
One of the women, embarrassed about drinking in front of a stranger, sighed and said:
"I must have another glass after these mushrooms. After mushrooms, whether you like it or not, you have to drink.... Ivan Gerasiuitch, ask him ... perhaps he'll have a drink."
"I need another glass after these mushrooms. After mushrooms, whether you like it or not, you have to drink... Ivan Gerasiuitch, ask him... maybe he'll have a drink."
"Drink, young man!" said Musátoff, without looking at his son. "Wines and liqueurs we don't keep, brother, we live plainly."
"Drink up, son!" Musátoff said, not even glancing at his boy. "We don’t stock wines or liqueurs, my friend; we live simply."
"I'm afraid our arrangements don't suit him," sighed the old woman.
"I'm afraid our plans don't work for him," sighed the old woman.
"Leave him alone, leave him alone, he'll drink all right."
"Just leave him alone, he'll be fine."
To avoid giving offence to his father, Boris took a glass, and drained it in silence. When the samovar was brought in he, silently and with a melancholy air—again to please his father—drank two cups of atrocious tea. And without a word he listened while the "old woman" lamented the fact that in this world you will sometimes find cruel and godless children who forsake their parents in their old age.
To avoid upsetting his father, Boris took a glass and emptied it in silence. When the samovar was brought in, he silently and with a sad demeanor—again to please his father—drank two cups of terrible tea. And without saying a word, he listened as the "old woman" mourned the fact that in this world, you sometimes find cruel and heartless children who abandon their parents in old age.
"I know what you are thinking," said the drunken old man, falling into his customary state of excitement. "You are thinking that I have fallen in the world, that I have dirtied myself, that I am an object of pity! But in my mind this simple life is far more natural than yours, young man. I do not need for anything ... and I have no intention of humiliating myself ... I can stand a lot ... but tolerance is at an end when a brat of a boy looks at me with pity."
"I know what you're thinking," said the drunk old man, slipping into his usual state of excitement. "You think I've hit rock bottom, that I've messed up my life, that I'm just someone to feel sorry for! But honestly, this simple life feels way more natural to me than yours, kid. I don't want for anything ... and I have no plans to humiliate myself ... I can take a lot ... but my patience runs out when some punk looks at me with pity."
When he had drunk his tea, he cleaned a herring, and squeezed onion on it with such vigour that tears of emotion sprang into his eyes. He spoke again of the totalisator, of his winnings, and of a hat of Panama straw for which he had paid sixteen roubles the day before. He lied with the same appetite with which he had drunk and devoured the herring. His son sat silently for more than an hour, and then rose to take leave.
When he finished his tea, he cleaned a herring and squeezed onion on it so forcefully that tears of emotion filled his eyes. He talked again about the betting machine, his winnings, and a Panama straw hat he had bought for sixteen roubles the day before. He lied with the same eagerness he had when he drank and ate the herring. His son sat quietly for over an hour before standing up to say goodbye.
"I wouldn't think of detaining you," said Musátoff stiffly. "I ask your pardon, young man, for not living in the way to which you are accustomed."
"I wouldn't dream of keeping you here," said Musátoff stiffly. "I apologize, young man, for not living in the way you're used to."
He bristled up, sniffed with dignity, and winked to the women.
He stiffened, sniffed with pride, and winked at the women.
"Good-bye, young man!" he said, escorting his son into the hall. "Attendez!"
"Goodbye, young man!" he said, walking his son to the hall. "Wait!"
But in the hall, where it was quite dark, he suddenly pressed his face to his son's arm, and sobbed. "If I could only see Sóniushka!" he whispered. "Arrange it, Bórenka, angel mine! I will have a shave, and put on one of your suits ... and make a severe face. I won't open my mouth while she's present I won't say a word. I swear to God!"
But in the dimly lit hall, he suddenly pressed his face against his son’s arm and sobbed. “If only I could see Sóniushka!” he whispered. “Please arrange it, Bórenka, my angel! I’ll shave, wear one of your suits... and adopt a serious expression. I won’t say a word while she’s around. I swear to God!”
He glanced timidly at the door, from behind which came the shrill voices of the women, smothered his sobs, and said in a loud voice:
He nervously looked at the door, behind which the sharp voices of the women were coming, held back his tears, and said aloud:
"Well, good-bye, young man! Attendez!"
"Well, goodbye, young man! Wait!"
TWO TRAGEDIES
At ten o'clock on a dark September evening six-year-old Andrei, the only son of Dr. Kiríloff, a Zemstvo physician, died from diphtheria. The doctor's wife had just thrown herself upon her knees at the bedside of her dead child, and was giving way to the first ecstacy of despair, when the hall-door bell rang loudly. Owing to the danger of infection all the servants had been sent out of the house that morning; and Kiríloff, in his shirtsleeves, with unbuttoned waistcoat, with sweating face, and hands burned with carbolic acid, opened the door himself. The hall was dark, and the stranger who entered it was hardly visible. All that Kiríloff could distinguish was that he was of middle height, that he wore a white muffler, and had a big, extraordinarily pale face—a face so pale that at first it seemed to illumine the darkness of the hall.
At ten o'clock on a dark September evening, six-year-old Andrei, the only son of Dr. Kiríloff, a local doctor, died from diphtheria. The doctor’s wife had just fallen to her knees beside their dead child, overwhelmed by the first wave of despair, when the doorbell rang loudly. Due to the risk of infection, all the servants had been sent out of the house that morning; so Kiríloff, in his shirt sleeves, with an unbuttoned vest, a sweating face, and hands burned from carbolic acid, opened the door himself. The hallway was dark, and the stranger who entered was barely visible. All that Kiríloff could make out was that he was of average height, wore a white scarf, and had a large, strikingly pale face—a face so pale that, at first, it seemed to brighten the darkness of the hallway.
"Is the doctor at home?" he asked quickly.
"Is the doctor home?" he asked quickly.
"I am the doctor," answered Kiríloff, "What do you want?"
"I’m the doctor," Kiríloff replied, "What do you need?"
"Ah, it is you. I am glad!" said the stranger. He stretched out through the darkness for the doctor's hand, found it, and pressed it tightly. "I am very ... very glad. We are acquaintances. My name is Abógin.... I had the pleasure of meeting you last summer at Gnutcheffs. I am very glad that you are in.... For the love of Christ do not refuse to come with me at once.... My wife is dangerously ill.... I have brought a trap."
"Ah, it's you. I'm so glad!" said the stranger. He reached out through the darkness for the doctor's hand, found it, and squeezed it tightly. "I'm really... really glad. We know each other. My name is Abógin.... I had the pleasure of meeting you last summer at Gnutcheffs. I'm really glad you're here.... For the love of Christ, please don't refuse to come with me right now.... My wife is dangerously ill.... I brought a trap."
From Abógin's voice and movements it was plain that he was greatly agitated. Like a man frightened by a fire or by a mad dog, he could not contain his breath. He spoke rapidly in a trembling voice, and something inexpressibly sincere and childishly imploring sounded in his speech. But, like all men frightened and thunderstruck, he spoke in short abrupt phrases, and used many superfluous and inconsequential words.
From Abógin's voice and movements, it was clear that he was really shaken up. Like someone terrified of a fire or a rabid dog, he struggled to catch his breath. He spoke quickly in a shaky voice, and there was something incredibly genuine and almost childlike in his tone. But, like anyone who is scared and stunned, he spoke in short, choppy phrases and filled his speech with unnecessary and irrelevant words.
"I was afraid I should not find you at home," he continued. "While I was driving here I was in a state of torture.... Dress and come at once, for the love of God ... It happened thus. Paptchinski—Alexander Semionevitch—whom you know, had driven over.... We talked for awhile ... then we had tea; suddenly my wife screamed, laid her hand upon her heart, and fell against the back of the chair. We put her on the bed.... I bathed her forehead with ammonia, and sprinkled her with water ... she lies like a corpse.... It is aneurism.... Come.... Her father died from aneurism...."
"I was worried I wouldn't find you at home," he continued. "While I was driving here, I was in a state of agony.... Get dressed and come right away, for God's sake... Here's what happened. Paptchinski—Alexander Semionevitch—whom you know, drove over.... We talked for a while... then we had some tea; suddenly my wife screamed, put her hand on her heart, and collapsed against the back of the chair. We laid her on the bed.... I bathed her forehead with ammonia and sprinkled her with water... she looks like a corpse.... It's aneurysm.... Hurry.... Her father died from aneurysm...."
Kiríloff listened and said nothing. It seemed he had forgotten his own language. But when Abógin repeated what he had said about Paptchinski and about his wife's father, the doctor shook his head, and said apathetically, drawling every word:
Kiríloff listened and said nothing. It seemed like he had forgotten his own language. But when Abógin repeated what he had said about Paptchinski and about his wife's father, the doctor shook his head and said indifferently, stretching out every word:
"Excuse me, I cannot go.... Five minutes ago ... my child died."
"Excuse me, I can’t leave.... Five minutes ago... my child passed away."
"Is it possible?" cried Abógin, taking a step hack. "Good God, at what an unlucky time I have come! An amazingly unhappy day ... amazing! What a coincidence ... as if on purpose."
"Is it possible?" shouted Abógin, stepping back. "Oh my God, what terrible timing! It's such an incredibly unlucky day... incredible! What a coincidence... as if it happened on purpose."
Abógin put his hand upon the door-handle, and inclined his head as if in doubt. He was plainly undecided as to what to do; whether to go, or again to ask the doctor to come.
Abógin placed his hand on the doorknob and tilted his head as if uncertain. He was clearly torn about what to do next: whether to leave or to ask the doctor to come again.
"Listen to me," he said passionately, seizing Kiríloff by the arm; "I thoroughly understand your position. God is my witness that I feel shame in trying to distract your attention at such a moment, but ... what can I do? Judge yourself—whom can I apply to? Except you, there is no doctor in the neighbourhood. Come! For the love of God! It is not for myself I ask.... It is not I who am ill."
"Listen to me," he said passionately, grabbing Kiríloff by the arm. "I completely understand your situation. God is my witness that I feel ashamed for trying to pull your attention away at such a moment, but... what can I do? Think for yourself—who else can I turn to? There’s no other doctor in the area. Come on! For the love of God! I'm not asking this for myself... I’m not the one who's sick."
A silence followed. Kiríloff turned his back to Abógin, for a moment stood still, and went slowly from the anteroom into the hall. Judging by his uncertain, mechanical gait, by the care with which he straightened the shade upon the unlit lamp, and looked into a thick book which lay upon the table—in this moment he had no intentions, no wishes, thought of nothing; and probably had even forgotten that in the anteroom a stranger was waiting. The twilight and silence of the hall apparently intensified his stupor. Walking from the hall into his study, he raised his right leg high, and sought with his hands the doorpost. All his figure showed a strange uncertainty, as if he were in another's house, or for the first time in life were intoxicated, and were surrendering himself questioningly to the new sensation. Along the wall of the study and across the bookshelves ran a long zone of light. Together with a heavy, close smell of carbolic and ether, this light came from a slightly opened door which led from the study into the bedroom. The doctor threw himself into an armchair before the table. A minute he looked drowsily at the illumined books, and then rose, and went into the bedroom.
A silence followed. Kiríloff turned his back to Abógin, stood still for a moment, and then slowly walked from the anteroom into the hall. Judging by his unsteady, robotic walk, the way he carefully adjusted the shade on the unlit lamp, and the way he glanced at a thick book lying on the table—in that moment, he had no intentions, no desires, and wasn’t thinking of anything; he probably even forgot that a stranger was waiting in the anteroom. The twilight and silence of the hall seemed to deepen his daze. As he walked from the hall into his study, he lifted his right leg high and felt for the doorframe with his hands. His whole posture showed a strange uncertainty, as if he were in someone else's house or experiencing intoxication for the first time, surrendering to the unfamiliar sensation. A long band of light ran along the wall of the study and across the bookshelves. Along with a heavy, close smell of carbolic and ether, this light came from a slightly opened door that led from the study to the bedroom. The doctor collapsed into an armchair in front of the table. For a minute, he drowsily stared at the lit books, then got up and went into the bedroom.
In the bedroom reigned the silence of the grave. All, to the smallest trifle, spoke eloquently of a struggle just lived through, of exhaustion, and of final rest. A candle standing on the stool among phials, boxes, and jars, and a large lamp upon the dressing-table lighted the room. On the bed beside the window lay a boy with open eyes and an expression of surprise upon his face. He did not move, but his eyes, it seemed, every second grew darker and darker, and vanished into his skull. With her hands upon his body, and her face hidden in the folds of the bedclothes, knelt the mother. Like the child, she made no movement; life showed itself alone in the bend of her back and in the position of her hands. She pressed against the bed with all her being, with force and eagerness, us if she feared to destroy the tranquil and convenient pose which she had found for her weary body. Counterpane, dressings, jars, pools on the floor, brashes and spoons scattered here and there, the white bottle of lime-water, the very air, heavy and stifling—all were dead and seemed immersed in rest.
In the bedroom, there was an eerie silence. Everything, down to the smallest detail, hinted at a battle just fought, of exhaustion, and of peaceful sleep. A candle stood on the stool among vials, boxes, and jars, while a large lamp on the dressing table illuminated the room. On the bed by the window lay a boy with his eyes open, looking surprised. He didn’t move, but it seemed like his eyes were growing darker and darker, disappearing into his skull. Kneeling beside him was his mother, her hands on his body and her face buried in the folds of the bed linens. Like the boy, she remained still; life was evident only in the curve of her back and the position of her hands. She pressed against the bed with all her strength, as if afraid to disturb the calm and comfortable position she found for her exhausted body. The quilt, dressings, jars, puddles on the floor, brushes and spoons scattered around, the white bottle of lime water, the heavy, stifling air—all felt lifeless and seemed lost in stillness.
The doctor stopped near his wife, thrust his hands into his trouser pockets, and turning his head, bent his gaze upon his son. His face expressed indifference; only by the drops upon his beard could it be seen that he had just been crying.
The doctor stopped next to his wife, shoved his hands into his pants pockets, and turned his head to look at his son. His face showed no emotion; the only sign that he had been crying was the tears on his beard.
The repellent terror which we conceive when we speak of death was absent from the room. The general stupefaction, the mother's pose, the father's indifferent face, exhaled something attractive and touching; exhaled that subtle, intangible beauty of human sorrow which cannot be analysed or described, and which music alone can express. Beauty breathed even in the grim tranquillity of the mourners. Kiríloff and his wife were silent; they did not weep, as if in addition to the weight of their sorrow they were conscious also of the poetry of their position. It seemed that they were thinking how in its time their youth had passed, how now with this child had passed even their right to have children at all. The doctor was forty-four years old, already grey, with the face of an old man; his faded and sickly wife, thirty-five. Andreï was not only their only son, but also their last.
The overwhelming fear we usually feel when we think about death was missing from the room. The stunned silence, the mother's posture, the father's indifferent expression, all radiated something appealing and moving; it conveyed that delicate, indescribable beauty of human grief that can only be captured by music. Even in the somber stillness of the mourners, there was beauty. Kiríloff and his wife remained quiet; they didn’t cry, as if, on top of their heavy sorrow, they were also aware of the poetic aspect of their situation. They seemed to be reflecting on how their youth had slipped away, and how with this child, they had lost even the right to have children. The doctor was forty-four, already grey, with the face of an old man; his faded and fragile wife was thirty-five. Andreï was not just their only son, but also their last.
In contrast with his wife, Kiríloff belonged to those natures which in time of spiritual pain feel a need for movement. After standing five minutes beside his wife, he, again lifting high his right leg, went from the bedroom into a little room half taken up by a long, broad sofa, and thence into the kitchen. After wandering about the stove and the cook's bed he bowed his head and went through a little door back to the anteroom. Here again he saw the white muffler and the pale face.
In contrast to his wife, Kiríloff was the type of person who felt a need to move during times of spiritual pain. After standing next to his wife for five minutes, he lifted his right leg high again and moved from the bedroom into a small room mostly occupied by a long, wide sofa, and then into the kitchen. After wandering around the stove and the cook's bed, he lowered his head and passed through a small door back to the anteroom. Here, he saw the white muffler and the pale face once more.
"At last!" sighed Abógin, taking hold of the door-handle. "Come, please!"
"Finally!" sighed Abógin, grabbing the doorknob. "Please, come in!"
The doctor shuddered, looked at him, and remembered.
The doctor shivered, glanced at him, and recalled.
"Listen to me; have I not already told you I cannot come?" he said, waking up. "How extraordinary!"
"Listen to me; haven't I already told you I can't come?" he said, waking up. "How amazing!"
"Doctor, I am not made of stone.... I thoroughly understand your position.... I sympathise with you!" said Abógin, with an imploring voice, laying one hand upon his muffler. "But I am not asking this for myself.... My wife is dying! If you had heard her cry, if you had seen her face, then you would understand my persistence! My God! and I thought that you had gone to get ready! Dr. Kiríloff, time is precious. Come, I implore you!"
"Doctor, I'm not some heartless person... I completely understand where you're coming from... I feel for you!" said Abógin, his voice pleading as he placed one hand on his muffler. "But I'm not asking this for myself... My wife is dying! If you had heard her cry, if you had seen her face, then you would get why I'm so insistent! My God! And I thought you were preparing to help! Dr. Kiríloff, time is crucial. Please, I'm begging you!"
"I cannot go," said Kiríloff with a pause between each word. Then he returned to the hall.
"I can't go," said Kiríloff, pausing between each word. Then he went back to the hall.
Abógin went after him, and seized him by the arm.
Abógin went after him and grabbed him by the arm.
"You are overcome by your sorrow—that I understand. But remember ... I am not asking you to come and cure a toothache ... not as an adviser ... but to save a human life," he continued, in the voice of a beggar. "A human life should be supreme over every personal sorrow.... I beg of you manliness, an exploit!... In the name of humanity!"
"You’re overwhelmed by your sadness—I get that. But remember… I’m not asking you to come and fix a toothache… not as a counselor… but to save a life,” he went on, sounding desperate. “A human life should take priority over any personal grief… I’m asking for your courage, a heroic act!… In the name of humanity!”
"Humanity is a stick with two ends," said Kiríloff with irritation. "In the name of the same humanity I beg of you not to drag me away. How strange this seems! Here I am hardly standing on my legs, yet you worry me with your humanity! At the present moment I am good for nothing.... I will not go on any consideration! And for whom should I leave my wife? No.... No."
"Humanity is a stick with two ends," Kiríloff said, irritated. "For the sake of that same humanity, I ask you not to pull me away. How odd this is! Here I am barely able to stand, and yet you're pestering me with your humanity! Right now, I'm worthless.... I won’t go, no matter what! And for whom should I leave my wife? No.... No."
Kiríloff waved his hands and staggered back.
Kiríloff waved his hands and stumbled backward.
"Do not ... do not ask me," he continued in a frightened voice. "Excuse me.... By the Thirteenth Volume of the Code I am bound to go, and you have the right to drag me by the arm.... If you will have it, drag me ... but I am useless.... Even for conversation I am not in a fit state.... Excuse me."
"Please don't... please don't ask me," he continued in a scared voice. "I'm sorry.... According to the Thirteenth Volume of the Code, I have to go, and you have the right to pull me by the arm.... If you really want to, go ahead and pull me... but I'm no use.... I'm not even in a good state for conversation.... I'm sorry."
"It is useless, doctor, for you to speak to me in that tone," said Abógin, again taking Kiríloff's arm. "The devil take your Thirteenth Volume!... To do violence to your will I have no right. If you will, come; if you don't, then God be with you; but it is not to your will that I appeal, but to your heart!... A young woman is at the point of death! This moment your own son has died, and who if not you should understand my terror?"
"It’s pointless, doctor, for you to talk to me like that," said Abógin, grabbing Kiríloff's arm again. "Forget your Thirteenth Volume!... I have no right to override your wishes. If you want to come, then come; if you don’t, then good luck to you; but I’m not appealing to your will, I’m appealing to your heart!... A young woman is about to die! At this very moment, your own son has died, and who better than you should understand my fear?"
Abógin's voice trembled with agitation; in tremble and in tone was something more persuasive than in the words. He was certainly sincere; but it was remarkable that no matter how well chosen his phrases, they seemed to come from him stilted, soulless, inappropriately ornate, to such an extent that they seemed an insult to the atmosphere of the doctor's house and to his own dying wife. He felt this himself, and therefore, fearing to be misunderstood, he tried with all his force to make his voice sound soft and tender, so as to win if not with words at least by sincerity of tone. In general, phrases, however beautiful and profound, act only on those who are indifferent, and seldom satisfy the happy or unhappy; it is for this reason that the most touching expression of joy or sorrow is always silence; sweethearts understand one another best when they are silent; and a burning passionate eulogy spoken above a grave touches only the strangers present, and seems to widow and child inexpressive and cold.
Abógin's voice shook with emotion; there was something more convincing in the way he spoke than in the content of his words. He was genuinely sincere, but it was striking that no matter how carefully he chose his expressions, they came off as forced, lifeless, and unnecessarily elaborate, to the point where they felt disrespectful to the atmosphere of the doctor's home and to his own dying wife. He sensed this himself, and so, afraid of being misinterpreted, he tried his hardest to make his voice sound gentle and compassionate, hoping to connect not through his words but through the sincerity in his tone. Overall, no matter how beautiful or profound phrases might be, they usually resonate only with those who are indifferent and rarely satisfy the happy or the unhappy. This is why the most heartfelt expression of joy or sorrow is often silence; lovers understand each other best when they are quiet; and a passionate eulogy delivered over a grave only affects the strangers present and feels cold and emotionless to the widow and child.
Kiríloff stood still and said nothing. When Abógin used some more phrases about the high vocation of a physician, self-sacrifice, and so on, the doctor asked gloomily:
Kiríloff stood silently, not saying a word. When Abógin mentioned more about the noble calling of a doctor, self-sacrifice, and all that, the doctor asked darkly:
"Is it far?"
"Is it far away?"
"Something between thirteen and fourteen versts. I have excellent horses. I give you my word of honour to bring you there and back in an hour. In a single hour!"
"About thirteen to fourteen versts. I have great horses. I promise I can get you there and back in an hour. Just one hour!"
The last words aided on the doctor more powerfully than the references to humanity and the vocation of a doctor. He thought for a moment and said, with a sigh:
The last words impacted the doctor more strongly than any talk of humanity or the calling of being a doctor. He paused for a moment and said, with a sigh:
"All right.... I will go."
"Okay... I'm going."
With a rapid, steady gait he went into his study, and after a moment's delay returned with a long overcoat. Moving nervously beside him, shuffling his feet, and overjoyed, Abógin helped him into his coat. Together they left the house.
With a quick, even stride, he walked into his study, and after a brief pause, came back with a long overcoat. Moving anxiously beside him, shuffling his feet, and filled with excitement, Abógin helped him put on his coat. They left the house together.
It was dark outside, but not so dark as in the anteroom. In the darkness was clearly defined the outline of the tall, stooping doctor, with his long, narrow beard and eagle nose. As for Abógin, in addition to his pale face the doctor could now distinguish a big head, and a little student's cap barely covering the crown. The white muffler gleamed only in front; behind, it was hidden under long hair.
It was dark outside, but not as dark as in the anteroom. In the darkness, the outline of the tall, hunched doctor was clearly visible, with his long, narrow beard and sharp nose. As for Abógin, besides his pale face, the doctor could now make out a big head and a small student cap barely covering the top. The white scarf shone only in front; in the back, it was concealed by long hair.
"Believe me, I appreciate your generosity," he muttered, seating the doctor in the calêche. "We will get there in no time. Listen, Luka, old man, drive as hard as you can! Quick!"
"Trust me, I really appreciate your kindness," he said quietly as he helped the doctor into the carriage. "We'll get there in no time. Listen, Luka, my friend, drive as fast as you can! Hurry up!"
The coachman drove rapidly. First they flew past a row of ugly buildings, with a great open yard; everywhere around it was dark, but from a window a bright light glimmered through the palisade, and three windows in the upper story of the great block seemed paler than the air. After that they drove through intense darkness. There was a smell of mushroom dampness, and a lisping of trees; ravens awakened by the noise of the calêche stirred in the foliage, and raised a frightened, complaining cry, as if they knew that Kiríloff's son was dead, and that Abógin's wife was dying. They flashed past single trees, past a coppice; a pond, crossed with great black shadows, scintillated—and the calêche rolled across a level plain. The cry of the ravens was heard indistinctly far behind, and then ceased entirely.
The coach driver sped along. They quickly passed a row of unattractive buildings with a large open yard; everything around was dark, but a bright light shimmered through the fence from a window, and three windows on the upper floor of the big block appeared lighter than the sky. Then they drove into deep darkness. There was a musty smell of damp mushrooms and the rustling of trees; ravens startled by the noise of the carriage stirred in the branches, letting out a scared, complaining cry, as if they knew that Kiríloff's son was dead and Abógin's wife was dying. They whizzed past solitary trees, a thicket; a pond, crossed with deep black shadows, sparkled—and the carriage rolled across a flat plain. The ravens' cries faded into the distance and then stopped completely.
For nearly the whole way Abógin and Kiríloff were silent. Only once, Abógin sighed and exclaimed:
For almost the entire journey, Abógin and Kiríloff didn’t say a word. Only once did Abógin sigh and exclaim:
"A frightful business! A man never so loves those who are near to him as when he is in danger of losing them."
"A terrifying situation! A person never loves those around him as much as when he risks losing them."
And when the calêche slowly crossed the river, Kiríloff started suddenly as if he were frightened by the plash of the water, and moved.
And when the carriage slowly crossed the river, Kiríloff jumped suddenly as if he were startled by the splash of the water, and moved.
"Listen! Let me go for a moment," he said wearily. "I will come again. I must send a feldscher to my wife. She is alone!"
"Listen! Just give me a moment," he said tiredly. "I'll be back. I need to send a medic to my wife. She's on her own!"
Abógin did not answer. The calêche, swaying and banging over the stones, crossed a sandy bank, and rolled onward. Kiríloff, wrapped in weariness, looked around him. Behind, in the scanty starlight, gleamed the road; and the willows by the river bank vanished in the darkness. To the right stretched a plain, flat and interminable as heaven; and far in the distance, no doubt on some sodden marsh, gleamed will-of-the-wisps. On the left, running parallel to the road, stretched a hillock, shaggy with a small shrubbery, and over the hill hung immovably a great half-moon, rosy, half muffled in the mist and fringed with light clouds, which, it seemed, watched it on every side, that it might not escape.
Abógin didn't respond. The carriage, swaying and bumping over the stones, crossed a sandy bank and rolled on. Kiríloff, feeling exhausted, looked around him. Behind, in the dim starlight, the road shimmered, while the willows by the riverbank faded into the darkness. To the right lay a flat plain, endless like the sky; and far in the distance, likely on some soggy marsh, will-o'-the-wisps flickered. To the left, running alongside the road, was a hillock, rough with small shrubs, and hanging over the hill was a large half-moon, tinted pink, partially shrouded in mist and edged with light clouds that seemed to be watching it closely, ensuring it wouldn’t escape.
On all sides Nature exhaled something hopeless and sickly; the earth, like a fallen woman sitting in her dark chamber and trying to forget the past, seemed tormented with remembrances of spring and summer, and waited in apathy the inevitable winter. Everywhere the world seemed a dark, unfathomable deep, an icy pit from which there was no escape either for Kiríloff or for Abógin or for the red half-moon....
On all sides, Nature gave off a sense of despair and illness; the earth, like a fallen woman sitting in her dark room trying to forget her past, seemed haunted by memories of spring and summer and awaited the inevitable winter with indifference. Everywhere, the world felt like a dark, unfathomable void, an icy pit from which there was no escape for Kiríloff, Abógin, or the red half-moon...
The nearer to its goal whirled the calêche, the more impatient seemed Abógin. He shifted, jumped up, and looked over the coachman's shoulder. And when at last the carriage stopped before steps handsomely covered with striped drugget, he looked up at the lighted windows of the second story, and panted audibly.
The closer the carriage got to its destination, the more impatient Abógin became. He shifted, jumped up, and peered over the coachman's shoulder. When the carriage finally stopped in front of the steps covered with fancy striped fabric, he looked up at the lit windows on the second floor and breathed heavily.
"If anything happens ... I will never survive it," he said, entering the hall with Kiríloff, and rubbing his hands in agitation. But after listening a moment, he added, "There is no confusion ... things must be going well."
"If anything happens ... I won't survive it," he said, walking into the hall with Kiríloff and rubbing his hands nervously. But after listening for a moment, he added, "There’s no chaos ... things must be going well."
In the hall were neither voices nor footsteps, and the whole house, notwithstanding its brilliant lights, seemed asleep. Only now, for the first time, the doctor and Abógin, after their sojourn in darkness, could see one another plainly. Kiríloff was tall, round-shouldered, and ugly, and was carelessly dressed. His thick, almost negro, lips, his eagle nose, and his withered, indifferent glance, expressed something cutting, unkindly, and rude. His uncombed hair, his sunken temples, the premature grey in the long, narrow beard, through which appeared his chin, the pale grey of his skin, and his careless, angular manners, all reflected a career of need endured, of misfortune, of weariness with life and with men. Judging by his dry figure, no one would ever believe that this man had a wife, and that he had wept over his child.
In the hall, there were no voices or footsteps, and the entire house, despite its bright lights, felt like it was asleep. For the first time, the doctor and Abógin, after their time in the dark, could see each other clearly. Kiríloff was tall, hunched, and not attractive, dressed very casually. His thick, almost African American lips, his sharp nose, and his indifferent, withered look conveyed something harsh, unfriendly, and rude. His messy hair, sunken temples, early grey in his long, narrow beard that exposed his chin, the pale grey of his skin, and his sloppy, awkward mannerisms all showed a life of hardship, misfortune, and exhaustion with life and people. By looking at his frail figure, no one would ever guess that this man had a wife and had shed tears over his child.
Abógin was a contrast. He was a thick-set, solid blond, with a big head, with heavy but soft features; and he was dressed elegantly and fashionably. From his carriage, from his closely-buttoned frock-coat, from his mane of hair, and from his face, flowed something noble and leonine; he walked with his head erect and his chest expanded, he spoke in an agreeable baritone, and the way in which he took off his muffler and smoothed his hair breathed a delicate, feminine elegance. Even his pallor, and the childish terror with which, while taking off his coat, he looked up the staircase, did not detract from his dignity, or diminish the satiety, health, and aplomb which his whole figure breathed.
Abógin was an intriguing figure. He was stocky and solid with blond hair, a large head, and heavy yet soft features, and he was dressed in an elegant and fashionable way. From his posture, his neatly buttoned coat, his flowing hair, and his facial features, there was something noble and lion-like about him; he walked with his head held high and his chest out, spoke with a pleasant baritone, and the way he removed his scarf and tidied his hair exuded a gentle, feminine grace. Even his paleness, and the childlike fear with which he looked up the staircase while taking off his coat, did not take away from his dignity or lessen the sense of health, confidence, and composure that his entire presence conveyed.
"There is no one about ... I can hear nothing," he said, going upstairs. "There is no confusion.... God is merciful!"
"There’s no one around ... I can’t hear anything," he said, heading upstairs. "It’s all quiet.... Thank God for His mercy!"
He led the doctor through the hall into a great drawing-room, with a black piano, and lustres in white covers. From this they went into a small, cosy, and well-furnished dining-room, full of a pleasant, rosy twilight.
He guided the doctor through the hallway into a large living room, featuring a black piano and chandeliers in white covers. From there, they entered a small, cozy, and well-furnished dining room, filled with a warm, rosy twilight.
"Wait a moment," said Abógin, "I shall be back immediately. I will look around and tell them you are here...."
"Wait a sec," said Abógin, "I'll be right back. I just need to check around and let them know you’re here...."
Kiríloff remained alone. The luxury of the room, the pleasant twilight, and even his presence in the unknown house of a stranger, which had the character of an adventure, apparently did not affect him. He lay back in the armchair and examined his hands, burnt with carbolic acid. Only faintly could he see the bright red lamp shade and a violoncello case. But looking at the other side of the room, where ticked a clock, he noticed a stuffed wolf, as solid and sated as Abógin himself.
Kiríloff stayed alone. The room's luxury, the nice twilight, and even being in a stranger’s unfamiliar house, which felt like an adventure, didn’t seem to bother him. He leaned back in the armchair and looked at his hands, scorched by carbolic acid. He could barely make out the bright red lampshade and a cello case. But when he glanced to the other side of the room, where a clock was ticking, he spotted a stuffed wolf, as solid and satisfied as Abógin himself.
Not a sound.... Then in a distant room someone loudly ejaculated "Ah!"; a glass door, probably the door of a wardrobe, closed ... and again all was silent. After waiting a moment Kiríloff ceased to examine his hands, and raised his eyes upon the door through which Abógin had gone.
Not a sound.... Then from a distant room, someone suddenly shouted, "Ah!"; a glass door, probably the wardrobe door, shut ... and once again, everything went quiet. After pausing for a moment, Kiríloff stopped looking at his hands and lifted his gaze to the door through which Abógin had left.
On the threshold stood Abógin. But it was not the Abógin who had left the room. The expression of satiety, the delicate elegance had vanished; his face, his figure, his pose were contorted by a repulsive expression not quite of terror, not quite of physical pain. His nose, his lips, his moustaches, all his features twitched; it seemed they wished to tear themselves off his face; and his eyes were transfigured as if from torture.
On the threshold stood Abógin. But it wasn’t the same Abógin who had left the room. The look of satisfaction and delicate grace had disappeared; his face, his body, his stance were twisted by a horrific expression that was neither fully terror nor entirely physical pain. His nose, his lips, his mustache, all his features twitched; it looked like they wanted to pull themselves off his face; and his eyes were transformed as if from agony.
Abógin walked heavily into the middle of the room, bent himself in two, groaned, and shook his fists. "Deceived!" he shouted, with a strong hissing accentuation of the second syllable. "Cheated! Gone! Got ill, and sent for a doctor, only to fly with that buffoon Paptchinski! My God!"
Abógin trudged into the center of the room, doubled over, groaned, and shook his fists. "Deceived!" he yelled, clearly emphasizing the second syllable. "Cheated! Vanished! Got sick and called for a doctor, only to run off with that clown Paptchinski! My God!"
Abógin walked heavily up to the doctor, stretched up to his face his white, soft fists, and, shaking them, continued in a howl:
Abógin walked slowly up to the doctor, raised his soft white fists to his face, and, shaking them, continued to howl:
"Gone! Deceived! But why this extra lie? My God! My God! But why this filthy swindler's trick, this devilish reptile play? What have I ever done? Gone!"
"Gone! I can’t believe it! But why the extra lie? My God! My God! But why this filthy trick, this devilish deceit? What have I ever done? Gone!"
The tears burst from his eyes. He turned on one foot and walked up and down the room. And now in his short coat, in the narrow, fashionable trousers, which made his legs seem too thin for his body, with his great head and mane, he still more closely resembled a lion. On the doctor's indifferent face appeared curiosity. He rose and looked at Abógin.
The tears streamed from his eyes. He turned on one foot and paced the room. Now, in his short coat and slim, trendy pants that made his legs look too skinny for his body, along with his big head and hair, he looked even more like a lion. Curiosity showed on the doctor's indifferent face. He stood up and looked at Abógin.
"Be so good as to tell me ... where is the patient?"
"Could you please tell me ... where is the patient?"
"Patient! Patient!" cried Abógin, with a laugh, a sob, and a shaking of his fists. "This is no sick woman, but a woman accursed! Meanness, baseness, lower than Satan himself could have conceived! Sent for a doctor, to fly with him—to fly with that buffoon, that clown, that Alphonse. Oh, God, better a thousand times that she had died! I cannot bear it.... I cannot bear it!"
"Wait! Wait!" shouted Abógin, laughing and crying at the same time while shaking his fists. "This isn't a sick woman; she's a cursed woman! It's pure meanness and lowliness, worse than anything Satan could imagine! They sent for a doctor to rush over—to rush over with that idiot, that fool, that Alphonse. Oh, God, a thousand times better if she had just died! I can't stand it... I can't stand it!"
The doctor drew himself up. His eyes blinked and filled with team, his narrow beard moved to the right and to the left in accord with the movement of his jaws.
The doctor straightened up. His eyes blinked and filled with tears, his narrow beard shifted to the right and left with the movement of his jaw.
"Be so good as to inform me what is the meaning of this?" he asked, looking around him in curiosity. "My child lies dead, my wife in despair is left alone in a great house. I myself can hardly stand on my feet, for three nights I have not slept, and what is this? am brought here to play in some trivial comedy, to take the part of a property-man.... I don't understand it!"
"Could you please tell me what this means?" he asked, looking around him in confusion. "My child is dead, and my wife is alone in this big house, completely devastated. I can barely keep myself upright; I haven't slept for three nights, and what is going on? I'm brought here to play a silly role, to be some kind of stagehand... I just don’t get it!"
Abógin opened one of his fists, flung upon the floor a crumpled paper, and trod on it as upon an insect which he wished to crush.
Abógin opened one of his fists, threw a crumpled piece of paper onto the floor, and stepped on it like an insect he wanted to squash.
"And I never saw it! I never understood!" he said through his clenched teeth, shaking one of his fists beside his face, with an expression as if someone had trod upon a corn. "I never noticed that he rode here every day, never noticed that to-day he came in a carriage! Why in a carriage? And I never noticed! Fool!"
"And I never saw it! I never understood!" he said through gritted teeth, shaking one fist next to his face, looking like someone had stepped on his foot. "I never noticed that he came here every day, never noticed that he arrived in a carriage today! Why a carriage? And I never noticed! Idiot!"
"I don't understand ... I really don't understand," stammered Kiríloff. "What is the meaning of this? This is practical joking at the expense of another ... it is mocking at human suffering. It is impossible. ... I have never heard of such a thing!"
"I don't get it ... I really don't get it," stammered Kiríloff. "What does this mean? This is just a practical joke at someone else's expense ... it mocks human suffering. It's unbelievable ... I've never heard of anything like this!"
With the dull astonishment depicted on his face of a man who is only beginning to understand that he has been badly insulted, the doctor shrugged his shoulders, and not knowing what to say, threw himself in exhaustion into the chair.
With the blank shock on his face like a man just starting to realize he's been seriously dissed, the doctor shrugged his shoulders, and not sure what to say, collapsed into the chair, feeling drained.
"Got tired of me, loved another! Well, God be with them! But why this deception, why this base, this traitorous trick?" cried Abógin in a whining voice. "Why? For what? What have I done to her? Listen, doctor," he said passionately, coming nearer to Kiríloff. "You are the involuntary witness of my misfortune, and I will not conceal from you the truth. I swear to you that I loved that woman, that I loved her to adoration, that I was her slave. For her I gave up everything; I quarrelled with my parents, I threw up my career and my music, I forgave her what I could not have forgiven in my own mother or sister.... I have never said an unkind word to her.... I gave her no cause! But why this lie? I do not ask for love, but why this shameless deception P If a woman doesn't love, then let her say so openly, honestly, all the more since she knew my views on that subject...."
"Got tired of me, loved someone else! Well, good luck to them! But why this deception, why this betrayal?" cried Abógin in a whiny voice. "Why? For what? What have I done to her? Listen, doctor," he said passionately, moving closer to Kiríloff. "You are an unwitting witness to my misfortune, and I won’t hide the truth from you. I swear to you that I loved that woman, that I adored her, that I was her slave. I gave up everything for her; I fought with my parents, I quit my career and my music, I forgave her things I could never forgive my own mother or sister... I’ve never said an unkind word to her... I gave her no reason! But why this lie? I’m not asking for love, but why this blatant deception? If a woman doesn’t love, then she should just say so openly and honestly, especially since she knew my feelings on that subject..."
With tears in his eyes, and with his body trembling all over, Abógin sincerely poured forth to the doctor his whole soul. He spoke passionately, with both hands pressed to his heart, he revealed family secrets without a moment's hesitation; and, it seemed, was even relieved when these secrets escaped him. Had he spoken thus for an hour, for two hours, and poured out his soul, he would certainly have felt better. Who knows whether the doctor might not have listened to him, sympathised with him as a friend, and, even without protest, become reconciled to his own unhappiness.... But it happened otherwise. While Abógin spoke, the insulted doctor changed. The indifference and surprise on his face gave way little by little to an expression of bitter offence, indignation, and wrath. His features became sharper, harder, and more disagreeable. And finally when Abógin held before his eyes the photograph of a young woman with a face handsome but dry and inexpressive as a nun's, and asked him could he, looking at this photograph, imagine that she was capable of telling a lie, the doctor suddenly leaped up, averted his eyes, and said, rudely ringing out every word:
With tears in his eyes and his whole body shaking, Abógin poured his heart out to the doctor. He spoke passionately, pressing both hands to his chest, revealing family secrets without hesitation; in fact, he seemed almost relieved to let them out. If he had talked like that for an hour, or even two, he definitely would have felt better. Who knows, the doctor might have listened, sympathized like a friend, and, without objections, even accepted his own unhappiness. But it went differently. As Abógin spoke, the offended doctor began to change. The indifference and shock on his face gradually turned into an expression of bitter offense, indignation, and anger. His features became sharper, harder, and increasingly unpleasant. Finally, when Abógin held up the photograph of a young woman—her face attractive yet dry and expressionless like a nun's—and asked him if he could imagine that she was capable of lying while looking at this picture, the doctor suddenly jumped up, turned away, and said, emphasizing each word rudely:
"What do you mean by talking to me like this? I don't want to hear you! I will not listen!" He shouted and banged his fist upon the table. "What have I to do with your stupid secrets, devil take them! You dare to communicate to me these base trifles! Do you not see that I have already been insulted enough? Am I a lackey who will bear insults without retaliation?"
"What do you mean talking to me like this? I don't want to hear you! I won’t listen!" He shouted and slammed his fist on the table. "What do your stupid secrets have to do with me, damn them! How dare you share these worthless little things with me! Can’t you see that I’ve already been insulted enough? Am I some lackey who will take insults without doing anything about it?"
Abógin staggered backwards, and looked at Kiríloff in amazement.
Abógin stumbled back and stared at Kiríloff in shock.
"Why did you bring me here?" continued the doctor, shaking his beard.... "If you marry filth, then storm with your filth, and play your melodramas; but what affair is that of mine? What have I to do with your romances? Leave me alone! Display your well-born meanness, show off your humane ideas, (the doctor pointed to the violoncello case) play on your double basses and trombones, get as fat as a capon, but do not dare to mock the personality of another! If you cannot respect it, then rid it of your detestable attention!"
"Why did you bring me here?" the doctor asked, shaking his beard. "If you want to marry your trash, then go ahead and indulge in your mess and act out your dramas; but what does that have to do with me? What concern are your love stories to me? Just leave me out of it! Show off your snobbery, flaunt your so-called humane ideas," (the doctor pointed to the cello case) "play your basses and trombones, get as plump as a turkey, but don’t you dare make fun of someone else's identity! If you can't respect it, then keep your disgusting attention to yourself!"
Abógin reddened. "What does all this mean?" he asked.
Abógin turned red. "What does all this mean?" he asked.
"It means this: that it is base and infamous to play practical jokes on other men. I am a doctor; you regard doctors and all other working men who do not smell of scent and prostitution as your lackeys and your servants. But reflect, reflect—no one has I given you the right to make a property man of a suffering human being!"
"It means this: it's low and disgraceful to play practical jokes on other people. I’m a doctor; you see doctors and all other working people who don’t wear fancy cologne or engage in shady activities as your servants and slaves. But think about it—no one has given you the right to treat a suffering human being like a possession!"
"You dare to speak this to me?" said Abógin; and his face again twitched, this time plainly from anger.
"You really want to say that to me?" Abógin said, and his face twitched again, this time clearly from anger.
"Yes ... and you, knowing of the misery in my home, have dared to drag me here to witness this insanity," cried the doctor, again banging his fist upon the table. "Who gave you the right to mock at human misfortune?"
"Yes ... and you, knowing about the suffering in my home, have dared to drag me here to witness this madness," shouted the doctor, once more pounding his fist on the table. "Who gave you the right to make fun of human misfortune?"
"You are out of your mind," said Abógin. "You are not generous. I also am deeply unhappy, and...."
"You've lost it," Abógin said. "You're not generous. I'm really unhappy too, and...."
"Unhappy!" cried Kiríloff, with a contemptuous laugh. "Do not touch that word; it ill becomes you. Oafs who have no money to meet their bills also call themselves unfortunate. Geese that are stuffed with too much fat are also unhappy. Insignificant curs!"
"Unhappy!" Kiríloff shouted with a scornful laugh. "Don't use that word; it doesn't suit you. People with no money to pay their bills also call themselves unfortunate. Overstuffed geese are also unhappy. Pathetic losers!"
"You forget yourself, you forget yourself!" screamed Abógin. "For words like those ... people are horsewhipped. Do you hear me?"
"You’re losing it, you’re losing it!" shouted Abógin. "For words like that... people get horsewhipped. Do you hear me?"
He suddenly thrust his hand into his side pocket, took out a pocket-book, and taking two bank-notes, flung them on the table.
He quickly reached into his side pocket, pulled out a wallet, and tossed two banknotes onto the table.
"There you have the money for your visit!" he said, dilating his nostrils. "You are paid!"
"There you go, you've got the money for your visit!" he said, flaring his nostrils. "You're all set!"
"Do not dare to offer money to me," cried Kiríloff, sweeping the notes on to the floor. "For insults money is not the payment."
"Don't you dare offer me money," Kiríloff shouted, flinging the bills onto the floor. "You can't pay for insults with money."
The two men stood face to face, and in their anger flung insults at one another. It is certain that never in their lives had they uttered so many unjust, inhuman, and ridiculous words. In each was fully expressed the egoism of the unfortunate. And men who are unfortunate, egoistical, angry, unjust, and heartless are even less than stupid men capable of understanding one another. For misfortune does not unite, but severs; and those who should be bound by community of sorrow are much more unjust and heartless than the happy and contented.
The two men stood opposite each other, and in their anger shouted insults back and forth. It's clear that they had never in their lives said so many unfair, cruel, and absurd things. Each displayed the selfishness of the unfortunate. And people who are unfortunate, selfish, angry, unfair, and cold-hearted are even less capable of understanding each other than foolish people. Misery doesn’t bring people together; it pulls them apart. Those who should be united by shared suffering are often much more unfair and heartless than those who are happy and content.
"Be so good as to send me home!" cried the doctor at last.
"Please send me home!" the doctor finally exclaimed.
Abógin rang sharply. Receiving no answer he rang again, and angrily flung the bell upon the floor; it fell heavily on the carpet and emitted a plaintive and ominous sound.... A footman appeared.
Abógin rang the bell sharply. When he got no response, he rang it again and angrily threw it down to the floor; it landed heavily on the carpet and let out a sad and foreboding sound.... A footman showed up.
"Where have you been hiding yourself? May Satan take you!" roared Abógin, rushing at him with clenched fists. "Where have you been? Go, tell them at once to give this gentleman the calêche, and get the carriage ready for me!... Stop!" he cried, when the servant turned to go. "To-morrow let none of you traitors remain in this house! The whole pack of you! I will get others! Curs!"
"Where have you been hiding? Damn you!" shouted Abógin, charging at him with clenched fists. "Where have you been? Go, tell them right now to get this gentleman the carriage, and get mine ready too!... Wait!" he yelled as the servant turned to leave. "Tomorrow, none of you traitors are allowed to stay in this house! Every last one of you! I’ll find someone else! Scoundrels!"
Awaiting their carriages, Abógin and Kiríloff were silent. The first had already regained his expression of satiety and his delicate elegance. He walked up and down the room, shook his head gracefully, and apparently thought something out. His anger had not yet evaporated, but he tried to look as if he did not notice his enemy.... The doctor stood, with one hand on the edge of the table, and looked at Abógin with deep, somewhat cynical and ugly contempt—with the eyes of sorrow and misfortune when they see before them satiety and elegance.
Waiting for their carriages, Abógin and Kiríloff were quiet. Abógin had already regained his look of satisfaction and his refined elegance. He paced the room, shook his head gracefully, and seemed to be pondering something. His anger hadn’t completely faded, but he tried to act like he didn’t notice his rival.... The doctor stood with one hand on the table's edge, looking at Abógin with a deep, somewhat cynical and distasteful contempt—like the eyes of sorrow and misfortune when they see someone who is satisfied and elegant.
When, after a short delay, the doctor took his seat in the calêche, his eyes retained their contemptuous look. It was dark, much darker than an hour before. The red half-moon had fallen below the hill, and the clouds that had guarded it lay in black spots among the stars. A carriage with red lamps rattled along the road, and overtook Kiríloff. It was Abógin, driving away to protest ... and make a fool of himself....
When the doctor finally took his seat in the carriage after a brief wait, his eyes still had that disdainful look. It was dark, much darker than it had been an hour earlier. The red half-moon had dipped below the hill, and the clouds that had concealed it were now scattered black spots among the stars. A carriage with red lamps rattled down the road and passed Kiríloff. It was Abógin, driving away to make a scene... and embarrass himself...
And all the way home Kiríloff thought, not of his wife or of dead Andreï, but of Abógin and of the people who lived in the house which he had just left. His thoughts were unjust, heartless, inhuman. He condemned Abógin and his wife, and Paptchinski, and all that class of persons who live in a rosy twilight and smell of perfumes; all the way he hated and despised them to the point of torture; and his mind was full of unshakeable convictions as to the worthlessness of such people.
And on the way home, Kiríloff thought, not about his wife or dead Andreï, but about Abógin and the people who lived in the house he had just left. His thoughts were unfair, heartless, and inhumane. He judged Abógin and his wife, and Paptchinski, and everyone in that class of people who live in a comfortable bubble and smell of perfumes; all the way he felt a deep hatred and disdain for them that was almost unbearable; and his mind was filled with strong beliefs about the uselessness of such people.
Time will pass; the sorrow of Kiríloff will pass away also, but this conviction—unjust, unworthy of a human heart—will never pass away, and will remain with the doctor to the day of his death.
Time will go on; Kiríloff's sorrow will fade too, but this belief—unfair, unworthy of a human heart—will never disappear and will stay with the doctor until the day he dies.
SLEEPYHEAD
Night. Nursemaid Varka, aged thirteen, rocks the cradle where baby lies, and murmurs almost inaudibly:
Night. Thirteen-year-old nursemaid Varka rocks the cradle where the baby lies and whispers almost silently:
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú!
Nurse will sing a song to you!..."
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú!
The nurse will sing a song to you!..."
In front of the ikon burns a green lamp; across the room from wall to wall stretches a cord on which hang baby-clothes and a great pair of black trousers. On the ceiling above the lamp shines a great green spot, and the baby-clothes and trousers cast long shadows on the stove, on the cradle, on Varka.... When the lamp flickers, the spot and shadows move as if from a draught. It is stifling. There is a smell of soup and boots.
In front of the icon, a green lamp is lit; across the room from one wall to the other, there's a cord hanging with baby clothes and a large pair of black pants. Above the lamp, a big green spot shines on the ceiling, and the clothes and pants create long shadows on the stove, the cradle, and Varka.... When the lamp flickers, the spot and shadows shift as if stirred by a breeze. It's stifling. There's a smell of soup and boots.
The child cries. It has long been hoarse and weak from crying, but still it cries, and who can say when it will be comforted P And Varka wants to sleep. Her eyelids droop, her head hangs, her neck pains her.... She can hardly move her eyelids or her lips, and it seems to her that her face is sapless and petrified, and that her head has shrivelled up to the size of a pinhead.
The child is crying. It has been hoarse and weak from all the tears, but it keeps crying, and who knows when it will find comfort? And Varka wants to sleep. Her eyelids are heavy, her head is drooping, and her neck hurts... She can barely move her eyelids or lips, and it feels like her face is lifeless and frozen, as if her head has shrunk to the size of a pinhead.
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú!" she murmurs, "Nurse is making pap for you...."
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú!" she whispers, "The nurse is preparing porridge for you...."
In the stove chirrups a cricket. In the next room behind that door snore Varka's master and the journeyman Athanasius. The cradle creaks plaintively, Varka murmurs—and the two sounds mingle soothingly in a lullaby sweet to the ears of those who lie in bed. But now the music is only irritating and oppressive, for it inclines to sleep, and sleep is impossible. If Varka, which God forbid, were to go to sleep, her master and mistress would beat her.
In the stove, a cricket chirps. In the next room behind that door, Varka's master and the apprentice Athanasius snore. The cradle creaks softly, and Varka murmurs—and the two sounds blend into a lullaby that's sweet for those lying in bed. But now the music is just annoying and heavy, as it makes you feel sleepy, and sleep is not an option. If Varka, God forbid, were to fall asleep, her master and mistress would hit her.
The lamp flickers. The green spot and the shadows move about, they pass into the half-open, motionless eyes of Varka, and in her half-awakened brain blend in misty images. She sees dark clouds chasing one another across the sky and crying like the child. And then a wind blows; the clouds vanish; and Varka sees a wide road covered with liquid mud; along the road stretch waggons, men with satchels on their backs crawl along, and shadows move backwards and forwards; on either side through the chilly, thick mist are visible hills. And suddenly the men with the satchels, and the shadows collapse in the liquid mud. "Why is this?" asks Varka. "To sleep, to sleep!" comes the answer. And they sleep soundly, sleep sweetly; and on the telegraph wires perch crows, and cry like the child, and try to awaken them.
The lamp flickers. The green spot and the shadows shift around, slipping into Varka's half-open, motionless eyes, mixing in her partially conscious mind into hazy images. She sees dark clouds rushing across the sky, crying like a child. Then a wind blows; the clouds disappear, and Varka sees a wide road covered in thick mud; along the road, wagons stretch out, and men with bags on their backs crawl along, while shadows move back and forth. On either side, through the chilly, dense mist, hills can be seen. Suddenly, the men with the bags and the shadows collapse into the thick mud. "Why is this?" Varka asks. "To sleep, to sleep!" comes the reply. And they sleep soundly, sleep sweetly; on the telegraph wires, crows perch and cry like a child, trying to wake them up.
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú. Nurse will sing a song to you," murmurs Varka; and now she sees herself in a dark and stifling cabin.
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú. The nurse will sing you a song," Varka whispers; and now she finds herself in a dark and stuffy cabin.
On the floor lies her dead father, Yéfim Stépanoff. She cannot see him, but she hears him rolling from side to side, and groaning. In his own words he "has had a rupture." The pain is so intense that he cannot utter a single word, and only inhales air and emits through his lips a drumming sound.
On the floor lies her dead father, Yéfim Stépanoff. She cannot see him, but she hears him rolling from side to side, groaning. In his own words, he "has had a rupture." The pain is so intense that he can't say a single word, and he just breathes in and makes a drumming sound through his lips.
"Bu, bu, bu, bu, bu...."
"Bu, bu, bu, bu, bu...."
Mother Pelageya has run to the manor-house to tell the squire that Yéfim is dying. She has been gone a long time ... will she ever return? Varka lies on the stove, and listens to her father's "Bu, bu, bu, bu.'" And then someone drives up to the cabin door. It is the doctor, sent from the manor-house where he is staying as a guest. The doctor comes into the hut; in the darkness he is invisible, but Varka can hear him coughing and hear the creaking of the door.
Mother Pelageya has rushed to the manor to tell the squire that Yéfim is dying. She’s been gone a long time... will she ever come back? Varka is lying on the stove, listening to her father’s “Bu, bu, bu, bu.” Then someone pulls up to the cabin door. It’s the doctor, sent from the manor where he’s staying as a guest. The doctor enters the hut; in the darkness, he’s not visible, but Varka can hear him coughing and the door creaking.
"Bring a light!" he says.
"Bring a light!" he says.
"Bu, bu, bu," answers Yéfim.
"Bu, bu, bu," replies Yéfim.
Pelageya runs to the stove and searches for a jar of matches. A minute passes in silence. The doctor dives into his pockets and lights a match himself. "Immediately, batiushka, immediately!" cries Pelageya, running out of the cabin. In a minute she returns with a candle end.
Pelageya rushes to the stove and looks for a jar of matches. A minute goes by in silence. The doctor digs into his pockets and lights a match himself. "Right away, batiushka, right away!" Pelageya calls out as she dashes out of the cabin. In a minute, she comes back with a candle stub.
Yéfim's cheeks are flushed, his eyes sparkle, and his look is piercing, as if he could see through the doctor and the cabin wall.
Yéfim's cheeks are red, his eyes shine, and his gaze is intense, as if he could see right through the doctor and the cabin wall.
"Well, what's the matter with you?" asks the doctor, bending over him. "Ah! You have been like this long?"
"What's wrong with you?" the doctor asks, leaning over him. "Ah! Have you been like this for a long time?"
"What's the matter? The time has come, your honour, to die.... I shall not live any longer...."
"What's going on? The time has come, your honor, to die.... I can't go on living any longer...."
"Nonsense.... We'll soon cure you!"
"Nonsense... We'll fix you up!"
"As you will, your honour. Thank you humbly ... only we understand.... If we must die, we must die...."
"As you wish, your honor. Thank you sincerely... it's just that we understand... If we have to die, then we have to die..."
Half an hour the doctor spends with Yéfim; then he rises and says:
Half an hour the doctor spends with Yéfim; then he stands up and says:
"I can do nothing.... You must go to the hospital; there they will operate on you. You must go at once ... without fail! It is late, and they will all be asleep at the hospital ... but never mind, I will give you a note.... Do you hear?"
"I can’t do anything... You need to go to the hospital; they will perform surgery on you. You have to go immediately... no exceptions! It’s late, and everyone will be asleep at the hospital... but don’t worry, I’ll write you a note... Do you understand?"
"Batiushka, how can he go to the hospital?" asks Pelageya. "We have no horse."
"Batiushka, how is he supposed to get to the hospital?" asks Pelageya. "We don't have a horse."
"Never mind, I will speak to the squire, he will lend you one."
"Don’t worry, I’ll talk to the squire; he’ll lend you one."
The doctor leaves, the light goes out, and again Varka hears: "Bu, bu, bu." In half an hour someone drives up to the cabin.... This is the cart for Yéfim to go to hospital in.... Yéfim gets ready and goes....
The doctor leaves, the light goes out, and again Varka hears: "Bu, bu, bu." Half an hour later, someone pulls up to the cabin... This is the cart for Yéfim to go to the hospital... Yéfim gets ready and leaves...
And now comes a clear and fine morning. Pelageya is not at home; she has gone to the hospital to find out how Yéfim is.... There is a child crying, and Varka hears someone singing with her own voice:
And now a bright and beautiful morning arrives. Pelageya isn’t home; she went to the hospital to check on Yéfim.... A child is crying, and Varka hears someone singing with her own voice:
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú, Nurse will sing a song to you...."
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú, the Nurse will sing a song for you...."
Pelageya returns, she crosses herself and whispers: "Last night he was better, towards morning he gave his soul to God.... Heavenly kingdom, eternal rest! ... They say we brought him too late.... We should have done it sooner...."
Pelageya comes back, crosses herself, and whispers, "Last night he was doing better; towards morning, he gave his soul to God... Heavenly kingdom, eternal rest! ... They say we brought him in too late... We should have done it sooner..."
Varka goes into the wood, and cries, and suddenly someone slaps her on the nape of the neck with such force that her forehead bangs against a birch tree. She lifts her head, and sees before her her master, the shoemaker.
Varka walks into the woods, crying, and suddenly someone slaps her hard on the back of the neck, causing her forehead to hit against a birch tree. She lifts her head and sees her master, the shoemaker, standing in front of her.
"What are you doing, scabby?" he asks. "The child is crying and you are asleep."
"What are you doing, you lazy one?" he asks. "The kid is crying, and you’re just sleeping."
He gives her a slap on the ear; and she shakes her head, rocks the cradle, and murmurs her lullaby. The green spot, the shadows from the trousers and the baby-clothes, tremble, wink at her, and soon again possess her brain. Again she sees a road covered with liquid mud. Men with satchels on their backs, and shadows lie down and sleep soundly. When she looks at them Varka passionately desires to sleep; she would lie down with joy; but mother Pelageya comes along and hurries her. They are going into town to seek situations.
He gives her a slap on the ear, and she shakes her head, rocks the cradle, and hums her lullaby. The green spot, the shadows from the pants and the baby clothes, quiver and blink at her, and soon take over her mind again. Once more, she sees a road covered in muddy water. Men with satchels on their backs lie down and fall asleep deeply. When she looks at them, Varka feels a strong urge to sleep; she would lie down happily; but Mother Pelageya comes along and rushes her. They are heading into town to look for jobs.
"Give me a kopeck for the love of Christ," says her mother to everyone she meets. "Show the pity of God, merciful gentleman!"
"Give me a kopeck for the love of Christ," her mother says to everyone she encounters. "Please show some kindness, generous sir!"
"Give me here the child," cries a well-known voice. "Give me the child," repeats the same voice, but this time angrily and sharply. "You are asleep, beast!"
"Give me the child," a familiar voice shouts. "Give me the child," the same voice repeats, but now it's angry and sharp. "You're asleep, you fool!"
Varka jumps up, and looking around her remembers where she is; there is neither road, nor Pelageya, nor people, but only, standing in the middle of the room, her mistress who has come to feed the child. While the stout, broad-shouldered woman feeds and soothes the baby, Varka stands still, looks at her, and waits till she has finished.
Varka jumps up and, looking around, remembers where she is; there’s no road, no Pelageya, and no people, just her mistress standing in the middle of the room to feed the baby. As the big, broad-shouldered woman feeds and comforts the child, Varka stands still, watching her and waiting until she’s done.
And outside the window the air grows blue, the shadows fade and the green spot on the ceiling pales. It will soon be morning.
And outside the window, the sky turns blue, the shadows disappear, and the green spot on the ceiling lightens. Morning is just around the corner.
"Take it," says her mistress buttoning her nightdress. "It is crying. The evil eye is upon it!"
"Take it," her mistress says as she buttons her nightdress. "It's crying. The evil eye is on it!"
Varka takes the child, lays it in the cradle, and again begins rocking. The shadows and the green spot fade away, and there is nothing now to set her brain going. But, as before, she wants to sleep, wants passionately to sleep. Varka lays her head on the edge of the cradle and rocks it with her whole body so as to drive away sleep; but her eyelids droop again, and her head is heavy.
Varka picks up the child, places it in the cradle, and starts rocking again. The shadows and the green spot disappear, leaving her with nothing to keep her mind busy. Yet, just like before, she craves sleep, desperately wanting to drift off. Varka rests her head on the edge of the cradle and rocks it with her whole body to fight off sleep; but her eyelids start to droop again, and her head feels heavy.
"Varka, light the stove!" rings the voice of her master from behind the door.
"Varka, turn on the stove!" calls her master from behind the door.
That is to say: it is at last time to get up and begin the day's work. Varka leaves the cradle, and runs to the shed for wood. She is delighted. When she runs or walks she does not feel the want of sleep as badly as when she is sitting down. She brings in wood, lights the stove, and feels how her petrified face is waking up, and how her thoughts are clearing.
That is to say: it’s finally time to get up and start the day’s work. Varka gets out of the cradle and runs to the shed for wood. She’s thrilled. When she runs or walks, she doesn’t feel the exhaustion of sleep as much as when she’s sitting down. She gathers wood, lights the stove, and feels her stiff face starting to wake up, and how her thoughts are becoming clearer.
"Varka, get ready the samovar!" cries her mistress.
"Varka, get the samovar ready!" her mistress shouts.
Varka cuts splinters of wood, and has hardly lighted them and laid them in the samovar when another order conies:
Varka cuts pieces of wood and has just lit them and placed them in the samovar when another order comes:
"Varka, clean your master's goloshes!"
"Varka, clean your master's boots!"
Varka sits on the floor, cleans the goloshes, and thinks how delightful it would be to thrust her head into the big, deep golosh, and slumber in it awhile. ... And suddenly the golosh grows, swells, and fills the whole room. Varka drops the brush, but immediately shakes her head, distends her eyes, and tries to look at things as if they had not grown and did not move in her eyes.
Varka sits on the floor, cleaning the galoshes, and imagines how wonderful it would be to stick her head into the big, deep galosh and nap there for a bit. ... Suddenly, the galosh starts to grow, swelling and filling the entire room. Varka drops the brush, but quickly shakes her head, widens her eyes, and tries to look at things as if they hadn’t grown and weren’t moving in her vision.
"Varka, wash the steps outside ... the customers will be scandalised!"
"Varka, clean the steps outside ... the customers will be shocked!"
Varka cleans the steps, tidies the room, and then lights another stove and runs into the shop. There is much work to be done, and not a moment free.
Varka cleans the steps, organizes the room, and then lights another stove before rushing into the shop. There's a lot of work to do, and not a moment to spare.
But nothing is so tiresome as to stand at the kitchen-table and peel potatoes. Varka's head falls on the table, the potatoes glimmer in her eyes, the knife drops from her hand, and around her bustles her stout, angry mistress with sleeves tucked up, and talks so loudly that her voice rings in Varka's ears. It is torture, too, to wait at table, to wash up, and to sew. There are moments when she wishes, notwithstanding everything around her, to throw herself on the floor and sleep.
But nothing is more exhausting than standing at the kitchen table and peeling potatoes. Varka's head droops onto the table, the potatoes sparkle in her eyes, the knife slips from her hand, and her plump, furious mistress bustles around her with rolled-up sleeves, shouting so loudly that her voice echoes in Varka's ears. It’s also tough to wait at the table, wash the dishes, and sew. There are times when she desperately wants to throw herself on the floor and sleep, despite everything happening around her.
The day passes. And watching how the windows darken, Varka presses her petrified temples, and smiles, herself not knowing why. The darkness caresses her drooping eyelids, and promises a sound sleep soon. But towards evening the bootmaker's rooms are full of visitors.
The day goes by. As she sees the windows darken, Varka presses her stiff temples and smiles, not really knowing why. The darkness gently touches her heavy eyelids and promises a restful sleep soon. But by evening, the bootmaker's place is filled with visitors.
"Varka, prepare the samovar!" cries her mistress.
"Varka, get the samovar ready!" shouts her mistress.
It is a small samovar, and before the guests are tired of drinking tea, it has to be filled and heated five times. After tea Varka stands a whole hour on one spot, looks at the guests, and waits for orders.
It’s a small samovar, and before the guests get tired of drinking tea, it needs to be filled and heated five times. After tea, Varka stands in one place for a whole hour, watching the guests and waiting for their orders.
"Varka, run and buy three bottles of beer!"
"Varka, go grab three bottles of beer!"
Varka jumps from her place, and tries to run as quickly as possible so as to drive away sleep.
Varka jumps up and tries to run as fast as she can to shake off sleep.
"Varka, go for vodka! Varka, where is the corkscrew? Varka, clean the herrings!"
"Varka, fetch the vodka! Varka, where's the corkscrew? Varka, clean the herring!"
At last the guests are gone; the fires are extinguished; master and mistress go to bed.
At last, the guests have left; the fires are out; the host and hostess head to bed.
"Varka, rock the cradle!" echoes the last order. In the stove chirrups a cricket; the green spot on the ceiling, and the shadows from the trousers and baby-clothes again twinkle before Varka's half-opened eyes, they wink at her, and obscure her brain.
"Varka, rock the cradle!" echoes the last command. A cricket chirps in the stove; the green spot on the ceiling and the shadows from the trousers and baby clothes shimmer again before Varka's half-closed eyes, they wink at her and muddle her thoughts.
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú," she murmurs, "Nurse will sing a song to you...."
"Bayú, bayúshki, bayú," she whispers, "Nurse will sing a song for you...."
But the child cries and wearies itself with crying. Varka sees again the muddy road, the men with satchels, Pelageya, and father Yéfim. She remembers, she recognises them all, but in her semi-slumber she cannot understand the force which binds her, hand and foot, and crushes her, and ruins her life. She looks around her, and seeks that force that she may rid herself of it. But she cannot find it. And at last, tortured, she strains all her strength and sight; she looks upward at the winking green spot, and as she hears the cry of the baby, she finds the enemy who is crushing her heart.
But the child cries and exhausts itself with its cries. Varka sees again the muddy road, the men with bags, Pelageya, and Father Yéfim. She remembers and recognizes them all, but in her half-asleep state, she can’t grasp the force that binds her, hand and foot, and crushes her, ruining her life. She looks around, trying to identify that force so she can free herself from it. But she can’t find it. Finally, in agony, she gathers all her strength and focus; she looks up at the flickering green spot, and as she hears the baby's cry, she identifies the enemy that is squeezing her heart.
The enemy is the child.
The enemy is the kid.
Varka laughs. She is astonished. How was it that never before could she understand such a simple thing? The green spot, the shadows, and the cricket, it seems, all smile and are surprised at it.
Varka laughs. She's amazed. How could she not have understood something so simple before? The green spot, the shadows, and the cricket all seem to smile and be surprised by it.
An idea takes possession of Varka. She rises from the stool, and, smiling broadly with unwinking eyes, walks up and down the room. She is delighted and touched by the thought that she will soon be delivered from the child who has bound her, hand and foot. To kill the child, and then to sleep, sleep, sleep....
An idea takes over Varka. She gets up from the stool, and, smiling widely with unblinking eyes, walks back and forth in the room. She feels happy and moved by the thought that she will soon be free from the child who has tied her down. To kill the child, and then to sleep, sleep, sleep....
And smiling and blinking and threatening the green spot with her fingers, Varka steals to the cradle and bends over the child.... And having smothered the child she drops on the floor, and, laughing with joy at the thought that she can sleep, in a moment sleeps as soundly as the dead child.
And smiling, blinking, and playfully threatening the green spot with her fingers, Varka sneaks over to the cradle and leans down towards the child.... After smothering the child, she drops to the floor and, laughing with joy at the thought of finally being able to sleep, falls asleep as soundly as the dead child.
AT THE MANOR
Pavel Ilitch Rashevitch marched up and down the room, stepping softly on the Little Russian parquet, and casting a long shadow on the walls and ceiling; and his visitor, Monsieur Meyer, Examining Magistrate, sat on a Turkish divan, with one leg bent under him, smoked, and listened. It was eleven o'clock, and from the next room came the sound of preparations for supper.
Pavel Ilitch Rashevitch paced back and forth in the room, walking lightly on the Little Russian parquet and casting a long shadow on the walls and ceiling; meanwhile, his guest, Monsieur Meyer, the Examining Magistrate, sat on a Turkish couch with one leg tucked under him, smoked, and listened. It was eleven o'clock, and from the next room came the sounds of supper being prepared.
"I don't dispute it for a moment!" said Rashevitch. "From the point of view of fraternity, equality, and all that sort of thing the swineherd Mitka is as good a man as Goethe or Frederick the Great. But look at it from the point of view of science; have the courage to look actuality straight in the face, and you cannot possibly deny that the white bone[1] is not a prejudice, not a silly woman's invention. The white bone, my friend, has a natural-historical justification, and to deny it, in my mind, is as absurd as to deny the antlers of a stag. Look at it as a question of fact! You are a jurist, and never studied anything except the humanities, so you may well deceive yourself with illusions as to equality, fraternity, and that sort of thing. But, on my side, I am an incorrigible Darwinian, and for me such words as race, aristocracy, noble blood are no empty sounds."
"I don't deny it for a second!" said Rashevitch. "From the perspective of brotherhood, equality, and all that, the swineherd Mitka is just as good as Goethe or Frederick the Great. But look at it from a scientific angle; have the guts to face reality, and you can't deny that the white bone[1] is not a prejudice or a silly idea made up by women. The white bone, my friend, has a solid basis in natural history, and to deny it, in my opinion, is as ridiculous as denying a stag's antlers. Look at it as a matter of fact! You’re a lawyer and have only studied the humanities, so it’s easy for you to get caught up in illusions about equality, brotherhood, and that sort of thing. But on my end, I’m an unshakeable Darwinist, and for me, terms like race, aristocracy, and noble blood are not meaningless."
Rashevitch was aroused, and spoke with feeling. His eyes glittered, his pince-nez jumped off his nose, he twitched his shoulders nervously, and at the word "Darwinian" glanced defiantly at the mirror, and with his two hands divided his grey beard. He wore a short, well-worn jacket, and narrow trousers; but the rapidity of his movements and the smartness of the short jacket did not suit him at all, and his big, longhaired, handsome head, which reminded one of a bishop or a venerable poet, seemed to be set on the body of a tall, thin, and affected youth. When he opened his legs widely, his long shadow resembled a pair of scissors.
Rashevitch was fired up and spoke passionately. His eyes sparkled, his pince-nez flew off his nose, he twitched his shoulders nervously, and at the mention of "Darwinian," he shot a defiant glance at the mirror and, using both hands, parted his gray beard. He wore a short, well-worn jacket and narrow trousers; however, the quickness of his movements and the style of the short jacket didn't suit him at all. His big, long-haired, handsome head, reminiscent of a bishop or a revered poet, seemed oddly placed on the body of a tall, thin, and pretentious young man. When he spread his legs wide, his long shadow looked like a pair of scissors.
As a rule he loved the sound of his own voice; and it always seemed to him that he was saying something new and original. In the presence of Meyer he felt an unusual elevation of spirits and flow of thought. He liked the magistrate, who enlivened him by his youthful ways, his health, his fine manners, his solidity, and, even more, by the kindly relations which he had established with the family. Speaking generally, Rashevitch was not a favourite with his acquaintances. They avoided him, and he knew it. They declared that he had driven his wife into the grave with his perpetual talk, and called him, almost to his face, a beast and a toad. Meyer alone, being an unprejudiced new-corner, visited him often and willingly, and had even been heard to say that Rashevitch and his daughters were the only persons in the district with whom he felt at home. And Rashevitch reciprocated his esteem—all the more sincerely because Meyer was a young man, and an excellent match for his elder daughter, Zhenya. And now, enjoying his thoughts and the sound of his own voice, and looking with satisfaction at the stout, well-groomed, respectable figure of his visitor, Rashevitch reflected how he would settle Zhenya for life as the wife of a good man, and, in addition, transfer all the work of managing the estate to his son-in-law's shoulders. It was not particularly agreeable work. The interest had not been paid into the bank for more than two terms, and the various arrears and penalties amounted to over twenty thousand roubles.
As a rule, he loved the sound of his own voice; it always felt to him like he was saying something new and original. When he was around Meyer, he experienced an unusual uplift in spirits and a flow of ideas. He liked the magistrate, who energized him with his youthful vibe, good health, fine manners, strong character, and even more so, the friendly relationship he had established with the family. Generally speaking, Rashevitch wasn't popular among his acquaintances. They avoided him, and he was aware of it. They claimed he had driven his wife to her grave with his constant talking, and they called him, almost to his face, a beast and a toad. Only Meyer, being an unbiased newcomer, visited him often and willingly, and he had even been heard saying that Rashevitch and his daughters were the only people in the area he felt at home with. Rashevitch returned his affection all the more sincerely because Meyer was a young man and an excellent match for his eldest daughter, Zhenya. Now, savoring his thoughts and the sound of his own voice while looking with satisfaction at the stout, well-groomed, respectable figure of his visitor, Rashevitch reflected on how he would secure Zhenya's future as the wife of a good man and, in addition, shift all the management of the estate's responsibilities onto his son-in-law. It wasn't particularly pleasant work. Interest payments hadn't been made to the bank for over two terms, and the various debts and penalties added up to over twenty thousand roubles.
"There can hardly be a shadow of doubt," continued Rashevitch, becoming more and more possessed by his subject, "that if some Richard the Lion-hearted or Frederick Barbarossa, for instance, a man courageous and magnanimous, has a son, his good qualities will be inherited by the son, together with his bumps; and if this courage and magnanimity are fostered in the son by education and exercise, and he marries a princess also courageous and magnanimous, then these qualities will be transmitted to the grandson, and so on, until they become peculiarities of the species, and descend organically, so to speak, in flesh and blood. Thanks to severe sexual selection, thanks to the fact that noble families instinctively preserve themselves from base alliances, and that young people of position do not marry the devil knows whom, their high spiritual qualities have reproduced themselves from generation to generation, they have been perpetuated, and in the course of ages have become even more perfect and loftier. For all that is good in humanity we are indebted to Nature, to the regular, natural-historical, expedient course of things, strenuously in the course of centuries separating the white bone from the black. Yes, my friend! It is not the potboy's child, the cookmaid's brat who has given us literature, science, art, justice, the ideas of honour and of duty.... For all these, humanity is indebted exclusively to the white bone; and in this sense, from the point of view of natural history, worthless Sobakevitch,[2] merely because he is a white bone, is a million times higher and more useful than the best tradesman, let him endow fifty museums! You may say what you like, but if I refuse to give my hand to the potboy's or the cookmaid's son, by that refusal I preserve from stain the best that is on the earth, and subserve one of the highest destinies of mother Nature, leading us to perfection...."
"There can hardly be any doubt," continued Rashevitch, getting more and more into his topic, "that if a courageous and noble man like Richard the Lion-hearted or Frederick Barbarossa has a son, the son will inherit both his good traits and his physical characteristics. If this courage and nobility are nurtured in the son through education and experience, and he marries a princess who also possesses these qualities, then these traits will be passed down to the grandson, and so on, until they become inherent traits of the lineage, handed down organically, so to speak, in their very being. Thanks to strict sexual selection, due to the fact that noble families instinctively protect themselves from inferior unions, and that young people of good standing don’t just marry anyone, their high moral values have been reproduced from generation to generation, they have been sustained, and over time have become even more refined and elevated. For everything good in humanity, we owe it to Nature, to the regular and natural historical processes that, over centuries, meticulously separate the worthy from the unworthy. Yes, my friend! It is not the child of a potboy or the offspring of a cookmaid who has given us literature, science, art, justice, the concepts of honor and duty.... Humanity owes all this solely to the noble lineage; and in this respect, from a natural historical perspective, worthless Sobakevitch,[2] simply because he is of noble blood, is infinitely more valuable and beneficial than the best tradesman, no matter how many museums he might fund! You can say whatever you want, but by refusing to associate with the son of a potboy or a cookmaid, I protect the best that exists on this earth and serve one of the highest purposes of Mother Nature, guiding us toward perfection...."
Rashevitch stood still, and smoothed down his beard with both hands. His scissors-like shadow stood still also.
Rashevitch stood motionless and ran his hands through his beard. His shadow, sharp like scissors, remained still as well.
"Take our dear Mother Russia!" he continued, thrusting his hands into his pockets, and balancing himself alternately on toes and heels. "Who are our best people? Take our first-class artists, authors, composers.... Who are they? All these, my dear sir, are representatives of the white bone. Pushkin, Gogol, Lermontoff, Turgenieff, Tolstoy.... Were these cook-maids' children?"
"Think about our beloved Mother Russia!" he went on, shoving his hands into his pockets and shifting his weight from toes to heels. "Who are our finest people? Look at our top artists, writers, composers... Who are they? All of them, my dear sir, come from the elite. Pushkin, Gogol, Lermontov, Turgenev, Tolstoy... Were these kids of servants?"
"Gontcharoff was a tradesman," said Meyer.
"Gontcharoff was a businessman," said Meyer.
"What does that prove? The exception, my friend, proves the rule. And as to the genius of Gontcharoff there can be two opinions. But let us leave names and return to facts. Tell me how you can reply, sir, to the eloquent fact that when the potboy climbs to a higher place than he was born in—when he reaches eminence in literature, in science, in local government, in law—what have you to say to the fact that Nature herself intervenes on behalf of the most sacred human rights, and declares war against him? As a matter of fact, hardly has the potboy succeeded in stepping into other people's shoes when he begins to languish, wither, go out of his mind, and degenerate; and nowhere will you meet so many dwarfs, psychical cripples, consumptives, and starvelings as among these gentry. They die away like flies in autumn. And it is a good thing. If it were not for this salutary degeneration, not one stone of our civilisation would remain upon another—the potboy would destroy it all.... Be so good as to tell me, please, what this invasion has given us up to the present time? What has the potboy brought with him?"
"What does that prove? The exception, my friend, proves the rule. As for Gontcharoff's genius, opinions can differ. But let’s set aside names and focus on facts. Tell me, how do you respond to the undeniable truth that when a potboy rises above his origins—when he achieves greatness in literature, science, local government, or law—what do you say to the fact that Nature itself steps in to defend the most fundamental human rights and wages war against him? In reality, hardly has the potboy managed to step into someone else's shoes when he starts to decline, deteriorate, lose his sanity, and regress; and you won’t find as many dwarfs, mental cripples, people with tuberculosis, and malnourished individuals as among this crowd. They fade away like flies in autumn. And that’s a good thing. If it weren’t for this necessary decline, not a single stone of our civilization would remain intact—the potboy would ruin it all... So, please tell me, what has this invasion contributed to us so far? What has the potboy brought with him?"
Rashevitch made a mysterious, frightened face, and continued:
Rashevitch made a mysterious, scared face and continued:
"Never before did our science and literature find themselves at such a low ebb as now. The present generation, sir, has neither ideas nor ideals, and all its activity is restricted to an attempt to tear the last shirt off someone else's back. All your present-day men who give themselves out as progressive and incorruptible may be bought for a silver rouble; and modern intelligent society is distinguished by only one thing, that is, that if you mix in it you must keep your hand on your pocket, else it will steal your purse." Rashevitch blinked and smiled. "Steal your purse!" he repeated, with a happy laugh. "And morals? What morals have we?" Rashevitch glanced at the door. "You can no longer be surprised if your wife robs you and abandons you—that is a mere trifle. At the present day, my friend, every twelve-year-old girl looks out for a lover; and all these amateur theatricals and literary evenings are invented only for the purpose of catching rich parvenus as sweethearts. Mothers sell their daughters, husbands are asked openly at what price they will sell their wives, and you may even trade, my friend,..."
"Never before have our science and literature been at such a low point as they are now. This generation, sir, has neither ideas nor ideals, and all its efforts are focused on trying to take the last shirt off someone else's back. All the so-called progressive and incorruptible people today can be bought for a silver rouble; and modern society is marked by just one thing: if you engage with it, you have to keep your hand on your pocket, or it will steal your wallet." Rashevitch blinked and smiled. "Steal your wallet!" he repeated with a cheerful laugh. "And morals? What morals do we have?" Rashevitch glanced at the door. "You can no longer be shocked if your wife robs you and leaves you—that's just a small thing. Nowadays, my friend, every twelve-year-old girl is looking for a lover; and all these amateur plays and literary events are just meant to attract wealthy newcomers as partners. Mothers sell their daughters, husbands are openly asked how much they will sell their wives for, and you can even trade, my friend..."
Up to this Meyer had said nothing, and sat motionless. Now he rose from the sofa, and looked at the clock.
Up until now, Meyer had said nothing and remained still. Now he got up from the sofa and looked at the clock.
"Excuse me, Pavel Ilitch," he said, "but it's time for me to go."
"Sorry, Pavel Ilitch," he said, "but I need to leave now."
But Rashevitch, who had not finished, took him by the arm, set him down forcibly upon the sofa, and swore he should not leave the house without supper. Meyer again sat motionless and listened; but soon began to look at Rashevitch with an expression of doubt and alarm, as if he were only just beginning to understand his character. When at last the maid entered, saying that the young ladies had sent her to say that supper was ready, he sighed faintly, and went out of the study first.
But Rashevitch, who wasn't done yet, grabbed him by the arm, pushed him down onto the sofa, and insisted he wasn't leaving the house without having supper. Meyer sat there, frozen, listening; but soon he started to look at Rashevitch with doubt and concern, as if he was just beginning to understand who he was. When the maid finally walked in, saying that the young ladies had sent her to let them know supper was ready, he sighed softly and left the study first.
In the dining-room, already at table, sat Rashevitch's daughters, Zhenya and Iraida, respectively aged twenty-four and twenty-two. They were of equal stature, and both black-eyed and very pale. Zhenya had her hair down, but Iraida's was twisted into a high top-knot. Before eating anything each drank a glass of spirits, with an expression meant to imply that they were drinking accidentally, and for the first time in their lives. After this they looked confused, and tittered.
In the dining room, already at the table, sat Rashevitch's daughters, Zhenya and Iraida, who were twenty-four and twenty-two years old, respectively. They were the same height, both had dark eyes, and were very pale. Zhenya had her hair down, while Iraida had it styled in a high bun. Before eating anything, they each had a glass of spirits, acting as if they were drinking it by accident and for the first time in their lives. After this, they looked flustered and giggled.
"Don't be silly, girls!" said Rashevitch.
"Don't be ridiculous, girls!" said Rashevitch.
Zhenya and Iraida spoke French to one another and Russian to their father and the visitor.... Interrupting one another, and mixing French and Russian, they began to remark that just at this time of the year, that is in August, they used to leave home for the Institute. How jolly that was! But now there was no place to go to for a change, and they lived at the manor-house winter and summer. How tiresome!
Zhenya and Iraida spoke French to each other and Russian to their dad and the visitor.... Interrupting one another and mixing French and Russian, they noted that at this time of year, in August, they used to leave home for the Institute. How fun that was! But now there was nowhere to go for a change, and they lived at the manor house all year round. How boring!
"Don't be silly, girls!" repeated Rashevitch.
"Don't be ridiculous, girls!" repeated Rashevitch.
"In short, that is exactly how things stand," he said, looking affectionately at the magistrate. "We, in the goodness and simplicity of our hearts, and from fear of being suspected of retrograde tendencies, fraternise—excuse the expression—with all kinds of human trash, and preach equality and fraternity with upstarts and nouveaux riches! Yet if we paused to reflect for a single minute we should see how criminal is our kindness. For all that our ancestors attained to in the course of centuries will be derided and destroyed in a single day by these modern Huns."
"In short, that's how things really are," he said, looking fondly at the magistrate. "We, in our goodness and naivety, and out of fear of being thought to have regressive ideas, associate—sorry for the term—with all sorts of undeserving people, and we preach equality and brotherhood with social climbers and nouveaux riches! Yet if we took just a moment to think about it, we would realize how harmful our kindness is. Everything our ancestors built over centuries could be ridiculed and destroyed in just one day by these modern barbarians."
After supper all went into the drawing-room. Zhenya and Iraida lighted the piano candles and got ready their music.... But their parent continued to hold forth, and there was no knowing when he would end. Bored and irritated, they looked at their egoist father, for whom, they concluded, the satisfaction of chattering and showing off his brains, was dearer than the future happiness of his daughters. Here was Meyer, the only young man who frequented the house—for the sake, they knew, of tender feminine society—yet the unwearying old man kept possession of him, and never let him escape for a moment.
After dinner, everyone went into the living room. Zhenya and Iraida lit the piano candles and prepared their music.... But their father kept talking, and it was impossible to tell when he would stop. Bored and frustrated, they glanced at their self-centered dad, who seemed to value his endless chatter and showing off his intelligence more than the future happiness of his daughters. There was Meyer, the only young man who came to their house—because they knew he was interested in their company—yet the relentless old man kept him engaged and wouldn’t let him leave for even a moment.
"Just as western chivalry repelled the onslaught of the Mongols, so must we, before it is too late, combine and strike together at the enemy." Rashevitch spoke apostolically, and lifted his right hand on high. "Let me appear before the potboy no longer as plain Pavel Ilitch, but as a strong and menacing Richard the Lion-Heart! Fling your scruples behind you—enough! Let us swear a sacred compact that when the potboy approaches we will fling him words of contempt straight in the face! Hands off! Back to your pots! Straight in the face!" In ecstacy, Rashevitch thrust out a bent forefinger, and repeated: "Straight in the face! In the face! In the face!"
"Just as Western chivalry pushed back the Mongol invasion, we must, before it’s too late, come together and strike at the enemy." Rashevitch said passionately, raising his right hand high. "Let me no longer be seen by the potboy as just Pavel Ilitch, but as a powerful and intimidating Richard the Lion-Heart! Throw away your hesitations—enough! Let’s make a vow that when the potboy comes near, we’ll throw words of scorn right in his face! Keep your hands off! Back to your pots! Right in his face!" In excitement, Rashevitch extended a bent forefinger and repeated, "Right in the face! In the face! In the face!"
Meyer averted his eyes. "I cannot tolerate this any longer!" he said.
Meyer looked away. "I can't take this anymore!" he said.
"And may I ask why?" asked Rashevitch, scenting the beginnings of a prolonged and interesting argument.
"And may I ask why?" Rashevitch inquired, sensing the start of a long and intriguing debate.
"Because I myself am the son of an artisan." And having so spoken, Meyer reddened, his neck seemed to swell, and tears sparkled in his eyes..
"Because I’m the son of a craftsman." And after saying this, Meyer blushed, his neck appeared to swell, and tears shimmered in his eyes.
"My father was a plain working man," he said in an abrupt, broken voice. "But I can see nothing bad in that."
"My dad was just a regular working man," he said in a halting, broken voice. "But I see nothing wrong with that."
Rashevitch was thunderstruck. In his confusion he looked as if he had been detected in a serious crime; he looked at Meyer with a dumfounded face, and said not a word. Zhenya and Iraida blushed, and bent over their music. They were thoroughly ashamed of their tactless father. A minute passed in silence, and the situation was becoming unbearable when suddenly a sickly, strained voice—it seemed utterly mal à propos—stammered forth the words:
Rashevitch was stunned. In his confusion, he looked like he had just been caught committing a serious crime; he stared at Meyer with a blank expression and said nothing. Zhenya and Iraida turned red and focused on their music. They felt embarrassed for their thoughtless father. A minute went by in silence, and the tension was getting unbearable when suddenly a weak, strained voice—totally out of place—stammered out the words:
"Yes, I am a tradesman's son, and I am proud of it." And Meyer, awkwardly stumbling over the furniture, said good-bye, and walked quickly into the hall, although the trap had not been ordered.
"Yes, I'm a tradesman's son, and I'm proud of it." And Meyer, clumsily navigating around the furniture, said goodbye and hurried into the hallway, even though the cab hadn't been called.
"You will have a dark drive," stammered Rashevitch, going after him. "The moon rises late to-night." They stood on the steps in the darkness and waited for the horses. It was cold.
"You'll have a dark drive," Rashevitch said, hesitating as he followed him. "The moon rises late tonight." They stood on the steps in the dark, waiting for the horses. It was cold.
"Did you see the falling star?" asked Meyer, buttoning his overcoat.
"Did you see the shooting star?" asked Meyer, buttoning up his coat.
"In August falling stars are very plentiful."
"In August, shooting stars are quite common."
When at last the trap drove round to the door, Rashevitch looked attentively at the heavens, and said, with a sigh:
When the carriage finally pulled up to the door, Rashevitch looked up at the sky and said, with a sigh:
"A phenomenon worthy of the pen of Flammarion...."
"A phenomenon worthy of Flammarion's writing...."
Having parted from his guest, he walked up and down the garden, and tried to persuade himself that such a stupid misunderstanding had not really taken place. He was angry, and ashamed of himself. In the first place, he knew that it was extremely tactless and incautious to raise this accursed conversation about the white bone without knowing anything of the origin of his guest. He told himself, with perfect justice, that for him there was no excuse, for he had had a lesson before, having once in a railway carriage set about abusing Germans to fellow-passengers who, it turned out, were themselves Germans.... And in the second place he was convinced that Meyer would come no more. These intellectuels who have sprung from the people are sensitive, vain, obstinate, and revengeful.
After saying goodbye to his guest, he paced the garden, trying to convince himself that such a ridiculous misunderstanding hadn’t actually happened. He felt angry and ashamed of himself. First of all, he knew it was really tactless and careless to bring up that annoying conversation about the white bone without knowing anything about his guest’s background. He reminded himself, quite rightly, that he had no excuse, having learned a lesson before when he once started insulting Germans in a train carriage, only to find out that the people he was talking to were Germans themselves... And secondly, he was sure that Meyer wouldn’t come back. These intellectuals who come from humble beginnings are sensitive, vain, stubborn, and vengeful.
"It is a bad business ... bad ... bad!" he muttered, spitting; he felt awkward and disgusted, as if he had just eaten soap. "It is a bad business!"
"It’s a terrible situation ... terrible ... terrible!" he muttered, spitting; he felt uncomfortable and disgusted, as if he had just eaten soap. "It’s a terrible situation!"
Through the open window he could see into the drawing-room where Zhenya with her hair down, pale and frightened, spoke excitedly to her sister.... Iraida walked from corner to corner, apparently lost in thought; and then began to speak, also excitedly and with an indignant face. Then both spoke together. Rashevitch could not distinguish a word, but he knew too well the subject of their conversation. Zhenya was grumbling that her father with his eternal chattering drove every decent man from the house, and had to-day robbed them of their last acquaintance, it might have been husband; and now the poor young man could not find a place in the whole district wherein to rest his soul. And Iraida, if judged correctly from the despairing way in which she raised her arms, lamented bitterly their wearisome life at home and their ruined youth.
Through the open window, he could see into the living room where Zhenya, her hair down, pale and scared, was talking animatedly to her sister. Iraida paced back and forth, seemingly deep in thought, and then started to speak, also filled with excitement and looking indignant. Soon, both of them were talking at once. Rashevitch couldn’t make out a single word, but he was all too familiar with the topic of their discussion. Zhenya was complaining that her father, with his endless chatter, drove away every decent man from the house and had today robbed them of their last acquaintance, who might have been a husband; and now the poor young man couldn’t find a single place in the whole area to find peace. And Iraida, judging by the despairing way she raised her arms, was mourning their exhausting life at home and their wasted youth.
Going up to his bedroom, Rashevitch sat on the bed and undressed himself slowly. He felt that he was a persecuted man, and was tormented by the same feeling as though he had eaten soap. He was thoroughly ashamed of himself. When he had undressed he gazed sadly at his long, veined, old-man's legs, and remembered that in the country round he was nicknamed "the toad," and that never a conversation passed without making him ashamed of himself. By some extraordinary fatality every discussion ended badly. He began softly, kindly, with good intentions, and called himself genially an "old student," an "idealist," a "Don Quixote." But gradually, and unnoticed by himself, he passed on to abuse and calumny, and, what is more surprising, delivered himself of sincere criticisms of science, art, and morals, although it was twenty years since he had read a book, been farther than the government town, or had any channel for learning what was going on in the world around him. Even when he sat down to write a congratulatory letter he invariably ended by abusing something or somebody. And as he reflected upon this, it seemed all the more strange, since he knew himself in reality to be a sensitive, lachrymose old man. It seemed almost as if he were possessed by an unclean spirit which filled him against his will with hatred and grumbling.
Going up to his bedroom, Rashevitch sat on the bed and slowly took off his clothes. He felt like a persecuted man, tormented by the same sensation as if he had eaten soap. He was completely ashamed of himself. Once undressed, he looked sadly at his long, veiny, old-man legs and remembered that in the surrounding countryside he was nicknamed "the toad," and that every conversation left him feeling embarrassed. By some strange twist of fate, every discussion ended poorly. He started off gently and kindly, with good intentions, referring to himself with affection as an "old student," an "idealist," a "Don Quixote." But gradually, and without realizing it, he shifted to insults and defamation, and surprisingly, he made sincere criticisms of science, art, and morality, even though it had been twenty years since he had read a book, traveled beyond the government town, or had any way to learn what was happening in the world around him. Even when he sat down to write a congratulatory letter, he always ended up criticizing something or someone. As he reflected on this, it seemed even stranger, since he knew himself to be a sensitive, tearful old man. It was almost as if he were possessed by an unclean spirit that filled him against his will with hatred and complaints.
"A bad business!" he sighed, getting into bed. "A bad business!"
"A terrible deal!" he sighed, getting into bed. "A terrible deal!"
His daughters also could not sleep. Laughter and lamentation resounded through the house. Zhenya was in hysterics. Shortly afterwards Iraida also began to cry. More than once the barefooted housemaid ran up and down the corridor.
His daughters also couldn't sleep. Laughter and crying echoed throughout the house. Zhenya was in hysterics. Soon after, Iraida started to cry too. More than once, the barefoot maid dashed up and down the hallway.
"What a scandal!" muttered Rashevitch, sighing, and turning uneasily from side to side. "A bad business!"
"What a scandal!" Rashevitch muttered, sighing and shifting uncomfortably from side to side. "This is a mess!"
He slept, but nightmare gave him no peace. He thought that he was standing in the middle of the room, naked, and tall as a giraffe, thrusting out his forefinger, and saying:
He slept, but nightmares wouldn’t let him rest. He imagined he was standing in the middle of the room, naked and as tall as a giraffe, pointing his finger and saying:
"In the face! In the face! In the face!"
"In the face! In the face! In the face!"
He awoke in terror, and the first thing he remembered was, that last evening a serious misunderstanding had occurred, and that Meyer would never visit him again. He remembered then that the interest had to be lodged in the bonk, that he must find husbands for his daughters, and that he must eat and drink. He remembered sickness, old age, and unpleasantness; that winter would soon be upon him, and that there was no wood....
He woke up in a panic, and the first thing he remembered was that a serious misunderstanding had happened the night before, and that Meyer would never come to see him again. He then recalled that the interest needed to be deposited in the bank, that he had to find husbands for his daughters, and that he needed to eat and drink. He remembered illness, old age, and discomfort; that winter would soon be here, and that there was no firewood...
At nine o'clock he dressed slowly, then drank some tea and ate two large slices of bread and butter.... His daughters did not come down to breakfast, they did not wish to see his face; and this offended him. For a time he lay upon the study sofa, and then sat at his writing-table and began to write a letter to his daughters. His hand trembled and his eyes itched. He wrote that he was now old, that nobody wanted him, and that nobody loved him; so he begged his children to forget him, and when he died, to bury him in a plain, deal coffin, without ceremony, or to send his body to Kharkoff for dissection in the Anatomical Theatre. He felt that every line breathed malice and affectation ... but he could not stop himself, and wrote on and on and on....
At nine o'clock, he got dressed slowly, then had some tea and ate two big slices of bread and butter... His daughters didn’t come down for breakfast; they didn’t want to see him, and that upset him. For a while, he lay on the study sofa, then sat at his writing desk and started to write a letter to his daughters. His hand shook and his eyes were itchy. He wrote that he was now old, that no one wanted him, and that no one loved him; so he asked his children to forget him, and when he died, to bury him in a simple wooden coffin, without any ceremony, or to send his body to Kharkoff for dissection in the Anatomy Theatre. He felt that every line dripped with bitterness and pretentiousness... but he couldn’t stop himself and kept writing on and on and on...
"The toad!" rang a voice from the next room; it was the voice of his elder daughter, an indignant, hissing voice. "The toad!"
"The toad!" a voice shouted from the next room; it was his older daughter, her voice filled with indignation and hissing. "The toad!"
"The toad!" repeated the younger in echo. "The toad!"
"The toad!" the younger one echoed. "The toad!"
[1] Blue blood.
Blue blood.
AN EVENT
Morning. Through the frosty lacework which covered the window-panes a host of bright sun-rays burst into the nursery. Vanya, a boy of six, with a nose like a button, and his sister Nina, aged four, curly-headed, chubby, and small for her age, awoke, and glared angrily at one another through the bars of their cots.
Morning. Bright sun rays burst into the nursery through the frosty patterns covering the window panes. Vanya, a six-year-old boy with a button-like nose, and his sister Nina, who was four, curly-headed, chubby, and small for her age, woke up and glared at each other in annoyance through the bars of their cribs.
"Fie!" cried nurse. "For shame, children! All the good people have finished breakfast, and you can't keep your eyes open...."
"Ugh!" shouted the nurse. "Shame on you, kids! Everyone decent has finished breakfast, and you still can't keep your eyes open...."
The sun-rays played merrily on the carpet, on the walls, on nurse's skirt, and begged the children to play with them. But the children took no notice. They had awakened on the wrong side of their beds. Nina pouted, made a wry face, and drawled:
The sun's rays danced happily on the carpet, the walls, and the nurse's skirt, inviting the children to join in the fun. But the children ignored them. They had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Nina sulked, made a face, and whined:
"Te-ea! Nurse, te-ea!"
"Tea! Nurse, tea!"
Vanya frowned, and looked about for an opportunity to pick a quarrel and roar. He had just blinked his eyes and opened his mouth, when out of the diningroom rang mother's voice:
Vanya frowned and looked around for a chance to start an argument and shout. He had just blinked and opened his mouth when he heard his mother's voice coming from the dining room:
"Don't forget to give the cat milk; she has got kittens."
"Don't forget to give the cat some milk; she has kittens."
Vanya and Nina lengthened their faces and looked questioningly at one another. Then both screamed, jumped out of bed, and, making the air ring with deafening yells, ran barefooted in their nightdresses into the kitchen.
Vanya and Nina made their faces longer and looked at each other in confusion. Then they both screamed, jumped out of bed, and, filling the air with loud yells, ran barefoot in their nightgowns into the kitchen.
"The cat's got kittens! The cat's got kittens!" they screamed.
"The cat has kittens! The cat has kittens!" they shouted.
In the kitchen under a bench stood a small box, a box which Stepan used for coke when he lighted the stove. Out of this box gazed the cat. Her grey face expressed extreme exhaustion, her green eyes with their little black pupils looked languishing and sentimental. ... From her face it was plain that to complete her happiness only one thing was lacking, and that was the presence of the father of her children, to whom she had given herself heart and soul. She attempted to mew, and opened her mouth wide, but only succeeded in making a hissing sound.... The kittens squealed.
In the kitchen, underneath a bench, there was a small box that Stepan used for coal when he lit the stove. The cat peered out from this box. Her gray face showed extreme fatigue, and her green eyes, with their tiny black pupils, looked weary and sentimental. ... It was clear from her expression that her happiness would be complete with just one thing: the presence of the father of her kittens, to whom she had given her whole heart. She tried to meow and opened her mouth wide but only managed to produce a hissing sound.... The kittens squeaked.
The children squatted on the ground in front of the box, and, without moving, but holding their breath, looked at the cat.... They were astonished and thunderstruck, and did not hear the grumbling of the pursuing nurse. In the eyes of both shone sincere felicity.
The kids crouched on the ground in front of the box, and, without moving and holding their breath, stared at the cat.... They were amazed and speechless, not noticing the annoyed nurse behind them. Both of their eyes sparkled with genuine happiness.
In the up-bringing of children, domestic animals play an unnoticed but unquestionably beneficent part. Which of us cannot remember strong but magnanimous dogs, lazy lapdogs, birds who died in captivity, dull-witted but haughty turkey-cocks, kindly old-lady-cats who forgave us when we stood on their tails for a joke and caused them intense pain? It might even be argued that the patience, faithfulness, all-forgivingness and sincerity of our domestic animals act on the childish brain much more powerfully than the long lectures of dry and pale Earl Earlovitch, or the obscure explanations of the governess who tries to prove to children that water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen.
In raising kids, domestic animals play an unnoticed but undeniably positive role. Which of us can't recall strong yet generous dogs, lazy lapdogs, birds that died in captivity, dim-witted yet proud turkeys, or sweet old lady cats that forgave us when we accidentally stepped on their tails for a laugh and caused them real pain? It could even be said that the patience, loyalty, forgiveness, and honesty of our pets have a much stronger impact on a child's mind than the long lectures from the dry and dull Earl Earlovitch, or the complicated explanations from the governess who tries to convince children that water is made up of hydrogen and oxygen.
"What duckies!" cried Nina, overflowing with gay laughter. "They're exactly like mice!"
"What little ducks!" exclaimed Nina, bursting with cheerful laughter. "They’re just like mice!"
"One, two, three!" counted Vanya. "Three kittens. That is one for me, one for you, and one for somebody else."
"One, two, three!" Vanya counted. "Three kittens. One for me, one for you, and one for someone else."
"Murrrrm ... murrrrm," purred the mother, flattered by so much attention. "Murrrrm!"
"Murrrrm ... murrrrm," purred the mother, pleased by all the attention. "Murrrrm!"
When they had looked for a while at the kittens, the children took them from under the cat and began to smooth them down, and afterwards, not satisfied with this, laid them in the skirts of their nightdresses and ran from one room to another.
When they had watched the kittens for a bit, the kids took them from under the cat and started to pet them. Then, not content with that, they tucked the kittens into the hems of their nightdresses and ran from one room to another.
"Mamma, the cat's got kittens!" they cried. Mother sat in the dining-room, talking to a stranger. When she saw her children unwashed, undressed, with their nightdresses on high, she got red, and looked at them severely.
"Mom, the cat had kittens!" they shouted. Mother was in the dining room, chatting with someone she didn't know. When she noticed her kids were dirty, undressed, with their nightdresses hiked up, she flushed red and gave them a stern look.
"Drop your nightdresses, shameless!" she said. "Run away at once, or you'll be punished."
"Take off your nightgowns, you shameless! Hurry up and run away, or you’ll be in trouble."
But the children paid no attention either to their mother's threats or to the presence of the stranger. They put the kittens down on the carpet and raised a deafening howl. Beside them walked the old cat, and mewed imploringly. When in a few minutes the children were dragged off to the nursery to dress, say their prayers, and have their breakfast, they were full of a passionate wish to escape from these prosaic duties and return to the kitchen.
But the kids ignored both their mom's threats and the presence of the stranger. They set the kittens down on the carpet and started a loud, chaotic noise. Next to them walked the old cat, meowing for attention. When, after a few minutes, the kids were taken to the nursery to get dressed, say their prayers, and have breakfast, they were filled with a strong desire to ditch these boring tasks and head back to the kitchen.
Ordinary occupations and games were quite forgotten. From the moment of their appearance in the world the kittens obscured everything, and took their place as the living novelty and heart-swelling of the day. If you had offered Vanya or Nina a bushel of sweets for each kitten, or a thousand threepenny-bits, they would have rejected the offer without a moment's hesitation. Till dinner-time, in spite of the warm protests of nurse and the cook, they sat in the kitchen and played with the kittens. Their faces were serious, concentrated, and expressive of anxiety. They had to provide not only for the present condition, but also for the future of the kittens. So they decided that one kitten would remain at home with the old cat, so as to console its mother, that the other would be sent to the country-house, and that the third would live in the cellar and eat the rats.
Ordinary activities and games were totally forgotten. From the moment they showed up in the world, the kittens overshadowed everything and became the exciting highlight of the day. If you had offered Vanya or Nina a huge pile of sweets for each kitten, or a thousand threepenny bits, they would have turned it down without a second thought. Until dinner time, despite the strong objections from the nurse and the cook, they stayed in the kitchen and played with the kittens. Their faces were serious and focused, revealing their concern. They needed to think not just about the current situation, but also the future of the kittens. So they decided that one kitten would stay home with the old cat to keep its mother company, one would be sent to the country house, and the third would live in the cellar and deal with the rats.
"But why can't they see?" asked Nina. "They have blind eyes, like beggars."
"But why can't they see?" Nina asked. "Their eyes are blind, like those of beggars."
The question troubled Vanya. He did his best to open one of the kitten's eyes, for a long time puffed and snuffled, but the operation was fruitless. And another circumstance worried the children extremely—the kittens obstinately refused the proffered meat and milk. Everything that was laid before their little snouts was eaten up by their grey mother.
The question bothered Vanya. He tried hard to open one of the kitten's eyes, puffing and sniffling for a long time, but it was useless. Another thing that upset the children was that the kittens stubbornly refused the offered meat and milk. Everything placed in front of their little noses was devoured by their gray mother.
"Let's build houses for the kittens," proposed Vanya. "We will make them live in different houses, and the cat will pay them visits...." In three cornel's of the kitchen they set up old hat-boxes. But the separation of the family seemed premature; the old cat, preserving on her face her former plaintive and sentimental expression, paid visits to all the boxes and took her children home again.
"Let's build houses for the kittens," suggested Vanya. "We can have them live in separate houses, and the cat will visit them...." In three corners of the kitchen, they placed old hat boxes. But separating the family felt too early; the old cat, still wearing her usual sad and sentimental look, visited all the boxes and brought her kittens back home again.
"The cat is their mother," said Vanya, "but who is their father?"
"The cat is their mom," said Vanya, "but who is their dad?"
"Yes, who is their father?" repeated Nina.
"Yes, who is their dad?" repeated Nina.
"They can't live without a father."
"They can’t live without a dad."
For a long time Vanya and Nina discussed the problem, who should be father of the kittens. In the end their choice fell on a big dark-red horse whose tail had been tom off. He had been cast away in the store-room under the staircase, together with the remnants of other toys that had outlived their generation. They took the horse from the store-room and stood it beside the box.
For a long time, Vanya and Nina talked about who should be the father of the kittens. In the end, they decided on a big dark-red horse whose tail had been ripped off. It had been left in the storage area under the staircase, along with the leftover toys that had outlasted their time. They took the horse from the storage area and placed it next to the box.
"Look out!" they warned him. "Stand there and see that they behave themselves."
"Watch out!" they warned him. "Stay there and make sure they act properly."
All this was said and done in a serious manner, and with an expression of solicitude. Outside the box and the kittens, Vanya and Nina would recognise no other world. Their happiness had no bounds. But they were destined to endure moments of unutterable torture. Just before dinner Vanya sat in his father's study, and looked thoughtfully at the table. Near the lamp, across a packet of stamped paper, crawled a kitten. Vanya watched its movements attentively, and occasionally poked it in the snout with a pencil.... Suddenly, as if springing out of the floor, appeared his father.
All this was said and done seriously, with a look of concern. Outside of the box and the kittens, Vanya and Nina saw no other world. Their happiness was limitless. But they were bound to face moments of intense suffering. Just before dinner, Vanya sat in his father's study, gazing thoughtfully at the table. Near the lamp, across a stack of stamped paper, a kitten was crawling. Vanya watched its movements closely, occasionally poking it in the nose with a pencil... Suddenly, as if he had sprung up from the floor, his father appeared.
"What is this?" cried an angry voice.
"What is this?" shouted an angry voice.
"It is ... it is a kitten, papa."
"It is ... it is a kitten, Dad."
"I'll teach you to bring your kittens here, wretched child! Look what you've done! Ruined a whole package of paper!"
"I'll show you how to bring your kittens here, you little rascal! Look at the mess you've made! You've ruined an entire package of paper!"
To Vanya's astonishment, his father did not share his sympathy with kittens, and, instead of going into raptures and rejoicing, pulled Vanya's ear, and cried:
To Vanya's shock, his father didn’t feel the same way about kittens, and instead of getting excited and celebrating, he pulled Vanya’s ear and shouted:
"Stepan, take away this abomination!"
"Stepan, get rid of this!"
At dinner the scandal was repeated.... During the second course the diners suddenly heard a faint squeal. They began to search for the cause, and found a kitten under Nina's pinafore.
At dinner, the scandal was brought up again.... During the second course, the diners suddenly heard a faint squeal. They started to look for the source and discovered a kitten under Nina's apron.
"Ninka! Go out of the room!" said her father angrily. "The kittens must be thrown into the sink this minute! I won't tolerate these abominations in the house!"
"Ninka! Get out of the room!" her father shouted angrily. "The kittens need to be tossed into the sink right now! I can't stand these disgusting things in the house!"
Vanya and Nina were terror-stricken. Death in the sink, apart from its cruelty, threatened to deprive the cat and the wooden horse of their children, to desolate the box, to destroy all their plans for the future—that beautiful future when one kitten would console its old mother, the second live in the country, and the third catch rats in the cellar.... They began to cry, and implored mercy for the kittens. Their father consented to spare them, but only on the condition that the children should not dare to go into the kitchen or touch the kittens again.
Vanya and Nina were absolutely terrified. Death in the sink, aside from being cruel, threatened to take away the cat and the wooden horse’s children, leave the box empty, and ruin all their future plans—that wonderful future when one kitten would comfort its old mother, the second would live in the countryside, and the third would catch rats in the cellar.... They started to cry and begged for mercy for the kittens. Their father agreed to let them go, but only if the children promised never to go into the kitchen or touch the kittens again.
After dinner, Vanya and Nina wandered from one room to another and languished. The prohibition on going to the kitchen drove them to despair. They refused sweets; and were naughty, and rude to their mother. In the evening when Uncle Petrusha came they took him aside and complained of their father for threatening to throw the kittens into the sink.
After dinner, Vanya and Nina roamed from room to room and felt miserable. The rule against going to the kitchen drove them to despair. They turned down sweets and acted out, being naughty and rude to their mom. In the evening, when Uncle Petrusha arrived, they pulled him aside and complained about their dad for threatening to toss the kittens into the sink.
"Uncle Petrusha," they implored, "tell mamma to put the kittens in the nursery.... Do!"
"Uncle Petrusha," they pleaded, "tell mom to put the kittens in the nursery.... Please!"
"Well ... all right!" said their uncle, tearing himself away. "Agreed!"
"Okay then!" said their uncle, pulling away. "Deal!"
Uncle Petrusha seldom came alone. Along with him came Nero, a big black dog, of Danish origin, with hanging ears and a tail as hard as a stick. Nero was silent, morose, and altogether taken up with his own dignity. To the children he paid not the slightest attention; and, when he marched past them, knocked his tail against them as if they were chairs. Vanya and Nina detested him from the bottom of their hearts. But on this occasion practical considerations gained the upper hand over mere sentiment.
Uncle Petrusha rarely showed up by himself. He always brought along Nero, a large black dog of Danish breed, with droopy ears and a tail as stiff as a stick. Nero was quiet, gloomy, and completely focused on his own dignity. He didn't pay the slightest attention to the kids; when he walked by them, he brushed his tail against them as if they were just furniture. Vanya and Nina absolutely hated him. But this time, practical matters took priority over their feelings.
"Do you know what, Nina?" said Vanya, opening wide his eyes. "Let us make Nero the father instead of the horse! The horse is dead, but Nero's alive." The whole evening they waited impatiently for their father to sit down to his game of vint, when they might take Nero to the kitchen without being observed.... At last father sat down to his cards, mother bustled around the samovar, and did not see the children.... The happy moment had come!
"Hey, Nina," Vanya said, his eyes wide open. "Let's make Nero the dad instead of the horse! The horse is dead, but Nero's still alive." They spent the whole evening anxiously waiting for their dad to settle down for his game of vint, so they could sneak Nero into the kitchen without being noticed.... Finally, Dad started playing cards, and Mom was busy around the samovar, not paying attention to the kids.... The moment they had been waiting for had finally arrived!
"Come!" whispered Vanya to his sister.
"Come!" Vanya whispered to his sister.
But at that very moment Stepan came into the room, and said with a grin:
But just then, Stepan walked into the room and said with a grin:
"I beg your pardon, ma'am. Nero has eaten the kittens."
"I’m sorry, ma'am. Nero has eaten the kittens."
Nina and Vanya turned pale, and looked with horror at Stepan.
Nina and Vanya went pale and stared at Stepan in shock.
"Yes, ma'am ..." grinned the servant. "He went straight to the box and gobbled them up."
"Yeah, ma'am ..." the servant grinned. "He went right to the box and devoured them."
The children expected everyone in the house to rise in alarm and fly at the guilty Nero. But their parents sat calmly in their chairs, and only expressed surprise at the appetite of the big dog. Father and mother laughed.... Nero marched up to the table, flourished his tail, and licked himself complacently. ... Only the cat seemed disturbed; she stretched out her tail, and walked about the room looking suspiciously at everyone and mewing plaintively.
The kids thought everyone in the house would jump up in shock and go after the guilty Nero. But their parents just sat calmly in their chairs and were only surprised by how much the big dog could eat. Mom and Dad laughed... Nero strutted over to the table, wagged his tail, and licked himself proudly. ... Only the cat looked bothered; she flicked her tail and wandered around the room, eyeing everyone suspiciously and meowing sadly.
"Now, children, time for bed! Ten o'clock!" cried mother.
"Alright, kids, it's time for bed! Ten o'clock!" shouted mom.
And Vanya and Nina were put to bed, where they wept over the injured cat, whose life had been desolated by cruel, nasty, unpunished Nero.
And Vanya and Nina were tucked into bed, where they cried over the hurt cat, whose life had been ruined by the cruel, nasty, unpunished Nero.
WARD No. 6
At the side of the hospital yard stands a large wing, nearly surrounded by a forest of burdocks, nettles, and wild hemp. The roof is red, the chimney is on the point of tumbling, the steps are rotten and overgrown with grass, and of the plaster only traces remain. The front gazes at the hospital, the back looks into the fields, from which it is separated only by a grey, spiked fence. The spikes with their sharp points sticking upwards, the fence, the wing itself, have that melancholy, God-forsaken air which is seen only in hospitals and prisons.
At the edge of the hospital yard stands a large wing, almost fully surrounded by a thicket of burdocks, nettles, and wild hemp. The roof is red, the chimney is about to fall over, the steps are decayed and overrun with grass, and only remnants of the plaster remain. The front faces the hospital, while the back overlooks the fields, separated only by a grey, spiked fence. The spikes, jutting upwards with sharp points, the fence, and the building itself all have that sad, abandoned vibe that’s typically found in hospitals and prisons.
If you are not afraid of being stung by nettles, come along the narrow path, and see what is going on inside. Open the hall-door and enter the hall. Here, against the walls and around the stove, are heaped whole mountains of rubbish. Mattresses, old tattered dressing-gowns, trousers, blue-striped shills, worn-out footgear, all good-for-nothing, lie in tangled and crushed heaps, rot, and exhale a suffocating smell.
If you’re not scared of getting stung by nettles, follow the narrow path and see what’s happening inside. Open the front door and step into the hall. Here, against the walls and around the stove, you’ll find piles of junk. Mattresses, old torn bathrobes, pants, blue-striped shirts, worn-out shoes—everything useless—is stacked in tangled, crushed heaps, decaying and giving off a horrible smell.
On the top of this rubbish heap, pipe eternally in mouth, lies the watchman Nikita, an old soldier. His face is coarse and drink-sodden, his hanging eye-brows give him the appearance of a sheep-dog, he is small and sinewy, but his carriage is impressive and his fists are strong. He belongs to that class of simple, expeditious, positive, and dull persons, who above all things in the world worship order, and find in this a justification of their existence. He beats his charges in the face, in the chest, in the back, in short, wherever his fists chance to strike; and he is convinced that without this beating there would be no order in the universe.
On top of this garbage pile, pipe always in his mouth, lies the watchman Nikita, an old soldier. His face is rough and soaked from drinking, and his drooping eyebrows make him look like a sheepdog. He’s small and muscular, but he carries himself well and has strong fists. He belongs to that group of straightforward, efficient, practical, and dull people who, above all else, value order and see this as the reason for their existence. He hits those under his watch in the face, chest, back—pretty much anywhere his fists land; and he genuinely believes that without this beating, there would be no order in the universe.
After you pass through Nikita's hall, you enter the large, roomy dormitory which takes up the rest of the wing. In this room the walls are painted a dirty blue, the ceiling is black with soot like the ceiling of a chimneyless hut; it is plain that in winter the stove smokes, and the air is suffocating. The windows are disfigured with iron bars, the floor is damp and splintered, there is a smell of sour cabbage, a smell of unsnuffed wicks, a smell of bugs and ammonia. And at the moment of entry all these smells produce upon you the impression that you have entered a cage of wild beasts.
After you walk through Nikita's hall, you step into the large, spacious dormitory that occupies the rest of the wing. In this room, the walls are painted a grimy blue, and the ceiling is blackened with soot like that of a chimneyless shack; it’s clear that in winter the stove smokes, and the air is stifling. The windows are marred by iron bars, the floor is damp and splintered, and there’s a smell of rotten cabbage, the scent of burnt-out candle wicks, and the odor of bugs and ammonia. At the moment you enter, all these smells give you the feeling that you've walked into a cage of wild animals.
Around the room stand beds, screwed to the floor. Sitting or lying on them, dressed in blue dressing-gowns, and wearing nightcaps after the manner of our forefathers, are men. It is the lunatic asylum, and these arc the lunatics.
Around the room are beds, secured to the floor. Men are sitting or lying on them, dressed in blue robes and wearing nightcaps like our ancestors. This is the mental hospital, and these are the patients.
There are only five patients. One is of noble birth, the others arc men of lower origin. The nearest to the door, a tall, thin man of the petty trading class, looks fixedly at one point. He has a red moustache and tear-stained eyes, and supports his head on one hand. In the books of the asylum his complaint is described as hypochondria; in reality, he is suffering from progressive paralysis. Day and night he mourns, shakes his head, sighs, and smiles bitterly. In conversation he seldom joins, and usually refuses to answer questions. He eats and drinks mechanically. Judged by his emaciation, his flushed cheeks, and his painful, hacking cough, he is wasting away from consumption.
There are only five patients. One is of noble birth, while the others are men of lower status. Closest to the door, a tall, thin man from the petty trading class stares intently at one spot. He has a red mustache and tear-streaked eyes, propping his head up with one hand. In the asylum's records, his condition is labeled as hypochondria; in reality, he is suffering from progressive paralysis. Day and night he grieves, shakes his head, sighs, and smiles bitterly. He rarely engages in conversation and often refuses to answer questions. He eats and drinks mechanically. Based on his gaunt figure, flushed cheeks, and painful, persistent cough, he is wasting away from tuberculosis.
Beside him is a little, active old man with a pointed beard, and the black, fuzzy hair of a negro. He spends all day in walking from window to window, or sitting on his bed, with legs doubled underneath him as if he were a Turk. He is as tireless as a bullfinch, and all day chirrups, titters, and sings in a low voice His childish gaiety and lively character are shown also at night, when he rises to "pray to God," that is, to beat his breast with his clenched fists, and pick at the doors. This is Moséika, a Jew and an idiot. He went out of his mind twenty years ago when his cap factory was destroyed by fire.
Beside him is a small, energetic old man with a pointed beard and fuzzy black hair. He spends all day moving from window to window or sitting on his bed with his legs tucked underneath him like a Turk. He’s as relentless as a bullfinch, chirping, giggling, and singing softly throughout the day. His youthful spirit and vibrant personality are evident even at night when he gets up to "pray to God," which means beating his chest with his fists and tapping on the doors. This is Moséika, a Jewish man with a mental disability. He lost his mind twenty years ago when his cap factory burned down.
Of all the captives in Word No. 6, he alone has permission to leave the asylum, and he is even allowed to wander about the yard and the streets. This privilege, which he has enjoyed for many years, was probably accorded to him as the oldest inmate of the asylum, and as a quiet, harmless fool, the jester of the town, who may be seen in the streets surrounded by dogs and little boys. Wrapped in his old dressing-gown, with a ridiculous nightcap and slippers, sometimes barefooted, and generally without his trousers, he walks the streets, stopping at doorways and entering small shops to beg for kopecks. Sometimes he is given kvas, sometimes bread, sometimes a kopeck, so that he returns to the ward wealthy and sated. But all that he brings home is taken by Nikita for his own particular benefit. The old soldier does this roughly and angrily, turning out the Jew's pockets, calling God to witness that he will never allow him outside the asylum again, and swearing that to him disorder is the most detestable thing in the world.
Of all the people locked up in Word No. 6, he's the only one allowed to leave the asylum, and he can even roam around the yard and the streets. This privilege, which he's had for many years, probably comes from being the oldest resident of the asylum and being seen as a harmless fool, the town's jester, often spotted in the streets surrounded by dogs and little boys. Dressed in his old bathrobe, wearing a silly nightcap and slippers—sometimes without shoes and usually without his pants—he walks the streets, stopping at doorways and going into small shops to beg for coins. Sometimes he gets kvas, sometimes bread, and sometimes a kopek, so he returns to the ward feeling rich and full. However, everything he brings back is taken by Nikita for his own use. The old soldier does this roughly and angrily, emptying the Jew's pockets, swearing to God that he'll never let him out of the asylum again, and claiming that disorder is the most loathsome thing in the world to him.
Moséika loves to make himself useful to others. He fetches water for his companions, tucks them in when they go to bed, promises to bring each a kopeck when he next returns from the town, and to make them new caps. He feeds with a spoon his paralytic neighbour on the left; and all this he does, not out of sympathy for others or for considerations of humanity, but from a love of imitation, and in a sort of involuntary subjection to his neighbour on the right, Iván Gromof.
Moséika loves to be helpful to others. He brings water for his friends, tucks them in when they go to sleep, promises to bring each of them a kopeck the next time he goes to town, and to make them new caps. He feeds his paralytic neighbor on the left with a spoon; and he does all this, not out of sympathy or a sense of duty, but because he loves to imitate and feels a sort of involuntary obligation to his neighbor on the right, Iván Gromof.
Ivan Dmítritch Gromof is a man of thirty-three years of age. He is a noble by birth, and has been an usher in the law courts, and a government secretary; but now he suffers from the mania of persecution. He lies upon his bed twisted into a lump resembling a roll of bread, or marches from corner to corner for the sake of motion. He is always in a state of excitement and agitation; and seems strained by some dull, indefinable expectation. It needs but the slightest rustle in the hall, the slightest noise in the yard, to make him raise his head and listen intently. Is it for him they arc coming? Are they searching for him? And his face immediately takes on an expression of restlessness and repulsion.
Ivan Dmítritch Gromof is a thirty-three-year-old man. He comes from a noble background and has worked as an usher in the courts and as a government secretary, but now he is plagued by paranoia. He lies on his bed curled up like a loaf of bread, or paces back and forth just to keep moving. He’s always in a state of excitement and agitation, as if he’s waiting for something vague and undefined. Even the slightest sound in the hallway or any noise outside makes him perk up and listen closely. Are they coming for him? Are they looking for him? His face quickly shows signs of unease and disgust.
There is something attractive about his broad, high cheek-boned face, which reflects, as a mirror, the tortured wrestlings and eternal terror of his mind. His grimaces arc strange and sickly; but the delicate lines engraven on his face by sincere suffering express reason and intelligence, and his eyes bum with a healthy and passionate glow. There is something attractive also in his character, in his politeness, his attentiveness, and in the singular delicacy of his bearing towards everyone except Nikita. If his neighbour drops a spoon or a button he jumps immediately out of bed and picks it up. When he wakes he invariably says, "Good morning!" to his companions; and every evening on going to bed wishes them "good night!"
There’s something appealing about his broad, high-cheeked face, which reflects, like a mirror, the struggles and constant fear of his mind. His grimaces are odd and unhealthy; but the fine lines etched on his face from genuine suffering show reason and intelligence, and his eyes burn with a healthy, passionate light. There’s also something appealing about his character, in his politeness, his attentiveness, and in the unique gentleness he shows everyone except Nikita. If his neighbor drops a spoon or a button, he instantly gets out of bed to pick it up. When he wakes up, he always says, "Good morning!" to his companions; and every evening before going to bed, he wishes them "good night!"
But madness shows itself in other things besides his grimaces and continual mental tension. In the evening he wraps himself in his dressing-gown, and, trembling all over, and chattering his teeth, he walks from corner to corner, and in between the beds. He seems to be in a state of fever. From his sudden stoppages and strange looks at his fellow-prisoners it is plain that he has something very serious to say; but, no doubt, remembering that they will neither listen nor understand, he says nothing, shakes his head impatiently, and continues his walk. But at last the desire to speak conquers all other considerations, and he gives way, and speaks passionately. His words are incoherent, gusty, and delirious; he cannot always be understood; but the sound of his voice expresses some exceptional goodness. In every word you hear the madman and the man. He speaks of human baseness, of violence trampling over truth, of the beautiful life on earth that is to come, and of the barred windows which remind him every moment of the folly and cruelty of the strong. And he hums medleys of old but for gotten songs.
But madness reveals itself in more than just his grimaces and constant mental strain. In the evening, he wraps himself in his robe, trembling all over and chattering his teeth as he paces from one corner to another and between the beds. He seems to be feverish. His sudden stops and strange looks at his fellow prisoners make it clear that he has something important to say; however, remembering that they won’t listen or understand, he stays silent, shakes his head in frustration, and keeps walking. Eventually, the urge to speak overcomes everything else, and he gives in, speaking passionately. His words are jumbled, erratic, and feverish; he isn’t always clear, but the tone of his voice conveys a remarkable kindness. In every word, you can hear both the madman and the person he is. He talks about human depravity, about violence crushing the truth, about the beautiful life that’s yet to come, and about the barred windows that remind him constantly of the madness and cruelty of the powerful. And he hums bits of old but forgotten songs.
II
Fifteen years before, in his own house, in the best street in the town, lived an official named Gromof—a solid and prosperous man. Gromof had two sons, Sergéi and Iván. Sergéi, when a student in the fourth class, was seized with consumption and died; and his death was the first of a screes of misfortunes which overtook the Gromofs. A week after Sergéi's death his old father was tried for forgery and misappropriation of public moneys, and soon afterwards died of typhus in the prison infirmary. His house and all his belongings were sold by auction, and Iván Dmítritch and his mother remained without a penny.
Fifteen years earlier, in his own house on the nicest street in town, lived a government official named Gromof—a solid and successful man. Gromof had two sons, Sergéi and Iván. Sergéi, while in the fourth grade, got tuberculosis and died; his death was the first in a series of misfortunes that hit the Gromofs. A week after Sergéi's death, his elderly father was put on trial for forgery and misappropriating public funds, and shortly after, he died of typhus in the prison infirmary. His house and all his possessions were sold at auction, leaving Iván Dmítritch and his mother without a cent.
When his father was alive, Iván Dmítritch studied at St. Petersburg University, received an allowance of sixty or seventy roubles a month, and had no idea of the meaning of poverty. Now he had to change his whole life. From early morning till late at night he gave cheap lessons to students and copied documents, yet starved, for all his earnings went to support his mother. The life was impossible, and Iván Dmítritch ruined his health and spirits, threw up his university studies, and returned home. Through interest he obtained an appointment as usher in the district school; but he was disliked by his colleagues, failed to get on with the pupils, and gave up the post. His mother died. For six months he lived without resources, eating black bread and drinking water, until at last he obtained an appointment as Usher of the Court. This duty he fulfilled until he was discharged owing to illness.
When his father was alive, Iván Dmítritch studied at St. Petersburg University, received an allowance of sixty or seventy roubles a month, and had no clue what poverty really meant. Now, he had to completely change his life. From early morning until late at night, he gave cheap lessons to students and copied documents, yet he was still starving, as all his earnings went to support his mother. Life was unbearable, and Iván Dmítritch ruined his health and spirits, dropped out of university, and returned home. Through connections, he got a job as a teacher’s aide in the district school; however, he was not liked by his colleagues, struggled to connect with the students, and eventually quit. His mother passed away. For six months, he lived without any resources, eating black bread and drinking water, until he finally got a job as an Usher of the Court. He performed this duty until he was let go due to illness.
Never, even in his student days, had he had the appearance of a strong man. He was pale, thin, and sensitive to cold; he ate little and slept foully. A single glass of wine made him giddy and sent him into hysterics. His disposition impelled him to seek companionship, but thanks to his irritable and suspicious character he never became intimate with anyone, and had no friends. Of his fellow-citizens he always spoke with contempt, condemning as disgusting and repulsive their gross ignorance and torpid, animal life. He spoke in a tenor voice, loudly and passionately, and always seemed to be in a sincere state of indignation, excitement, or rapture. However he began a conversation, it ended always in one way—in a lament that the town was stifling and tiresome, that its people had no high interests, but led a dull, unmeaning life, varied only by violence, coarse debauchery and hypocrisy; that scoundrels were fed and clothed while honest men ate crusts; that the town was crying out for schools, honest newspapers, a theatre, public lectures, an union of intellectual forces; and that the time had come for the townspeople to awaken to, and be shocked at, the state of affairs. In his judgments of men he laid on his colours thickly, using only white and black, and recognising no gradations; for him humanity was divided into two sections, honest men and rogues—there was nothing between. Of woman and woman's love he spoke passionately and with rapture. But he had never been in love.
Never, even during his school days, did he look like a strong man. He was pale, thin, and sensitive to the cold; he ate very little and slept poorly. Just one glass of wine made him dizzy and sent him into a fit of hysterics. His nature pushed him to seek companionship, but due to his irritable and suspicious personality, he never got close to anyone and had no friends. He always spoke about his fellow citizens with disdain, labeling their gross ignorance and dull, animalistic lives as disgusting and repulsive. He spoke in a loud, passionate tenor voice, often seeming genuinely outraged, excited, or ecstatic. No matter how he started a conversation, it always ended the same way—with a complaint that the town was stifling and boring, that its people had no noble interests but led a dull, meaningless life, only varied by violence, crude debauchery, and hypocrisy; that scoundrels were well-fed and well-dressed while honest men ate scraps; that the town was crying out for schools, honest newspapers, a theater, public lectures, and a unification of intellectual efforts; and that it was time for the townspeople to wake up and be shocked by how things were. In his judgments of people, he painted with broad strokes, using only black and white, with no shades in between; for him, humanity was divided into two groups, honest people and rogues—nothing in between. He spoke passionately and ecstatically about women and love, but he had never been in love himself.
In the town, notwithstanding his nervous character and censorious temper, he was loved, and called caressingly "Vanya." His innate delicacy, his attentiveness, his neatness, his moral purity, his worn coat, his sickly appearance, the misfortunes of his family, inspired in all feelings of warmth and compassion. Besides, he was educated and well-read; in the opinion of the townsmen he knew everything; and occupied among them the place of a walking reference-book. He read much. He would sit for hours at the club, pluck nervously at his beard, and turn over the pages of books and magazines—by his face it might be seen that he was not reading but devouring. Yet reading was apparently merely one of his nervous habits, for with equal avidity he read everything that fell into his hands, even old newspapers and calendars. At home he always read, lying down.
In the town, despite his nervous personality and critical nature, he was loved and affectionately called "Vanya." His natural sensitivity, attentiveness, neatness, moral integrity, worn coat, sickly look, and his family's troubles evoked warmth and compassion in everyone. Plus, he was educated and well-read; the townspeople thought he knew everything and saw him as a living encyclopedia. He read a lot. He would sit for hours at the club, nervously tugging at his beard and flipping through books and magazines—his expression showed he wasn't just reading, but consuming the words. However, reading seemed to be just one of his nervous habits, since he eagerly read anything that came his way, even old newspapers and calendars. At home, he always read while lying down.
III
One autumn morning, Iván Dmítritch, with the collar of his coat turned up, trudged through the mud to the house of a certain tradesman to receive money due on a writ of execution. As always in the morning, he was in a gloomy mood. Passing through a lane, he met two convicts in chains and with them four warders armed with rifles. Iván Dmítritch had often met convicts before, and they had awakened in him a feeling of sympathy and confusion. But this meeting produced upon him an unusual impression. It suddenly occurred to him that he too might be shackled and driven through the mud to prison. Having finished his work, he was returning home when he met a police-inspector, an acquaintance, who greeted him and walked with him a few yards down the street. This seemed to him for some reason suspicions. At home visions of convicts and of soldiers armed with rifles haunted him all day, and an inexplicable spiritual dread prevented him from reading or concentrating his mind. In the evening he sat without a fire, and lay awake all night thinking how he also might be arrested, manacled, and flung into prison. He knew that he had committed no crime, and was quite confident that he would never commit murder, arson, or robbery; but then, he remembered, how easy it was to commit a crime by accident or involuntarily, and how common were convictions on false evidence and owing to judicial errors! And in the present state of human affairs how probable, how little to be wondered at, were judicial errors! Men who witness the sufferings of others only from a professional standpoint; for instance, judges, policemen, doctors, became hardened to such a degree that even if they wished otherwise they could not resist the habit of treating accused persons formally; they got to resemble those peasants who kill sheep and calves in their back-yards without even noticing the blood. In view of the soulless relationship to human personality which everywhere obtains, all that a judge thinks of is the observance of certain formalities, and then all is over, and an innocent man perhaps deprived of his civil rights or sent to the galleys. Who indeed would expect justice or intercession in this dirty, sleepy little town, two hundred versts from the nearest rail-way? And indeed was it not ridiculous to expect, justice when society regards every form of violence as rational, expedient, and necessary; and when an act of common mercy such as the acquittal of an accused man calls forth an explosion of unsatisfied vindictiveness!
One autumn morning, Iván Dmítritch, with the collar of his coat turned up, trudged through the mud to a tradesman’s house to collect money owed on a writ of execution. As always in the morning, he was in a gloomy mood. Passing through a lane, he encountered two convicts in chains, along with four warders armed with rifles. Iván Dmítritch had often seen convicts before, which usually stirred up feelings of sympathy and confusion in him. But this time, it left an unusual impression on him. It suddenly struck him that he too could be shackled and marched through the mud to prison. After finishing his work, he was on his way home when he met a police inspector, an acquaintance, who greeted him and walked a few yards down the street with him. For some reason, this felt suspicious to him. At home, visions of convicts and armed soldiers haunted him all day, and an inexplicable sense of dread prevented him from reading or concentrating. That evening, he sat without a fire and lay awake all night, thinking about how he could also be arrested, manacled, and thrown into prison. He knew he hadn’t committed any crime and was confident he would never commit murder, arson, or robbery; but then he remembered how easy it was to accidentally commit a crime or do so involuntarily, and how common convictions were based on false evidence and judicial errors! And given the current state of human affairs, how likely and unsurprising judicial errors were! Men who witness the suffering of others only from a professional standpoint—like judges, policemen, and doctors—become so hardened that even if they wanted to be different, they couldn’t shake the habit of treating accused people as mere formalities; they end up resembling those peasants who slaughter sheep and calves in their backyards without even noticing the blood. Given the soulless approach to human beings that prevails everywhere, judges only think about following certain procedures, and then it’s all over, with an innocent person possibly losing their rights or being sent to hard labor. Who would expect justice or mercy in this dreary, sleepy little town, two hundred versts from the nearest railway? And wasn’t it absurd to expect justice when society sees all forms of violence as rational, necessary, and expedient; when a simple act of mercy like acquitting an innocent person leads to an outburst of unfulfilled revenge?
Next morning Iván Dmítritch awoke in terror with drops of cold sweat on his forehead. He felt convinced that he might be arrested at any moment. That the evening's gloomy thoughts had haunted him so persistently, he concluded, must mean that there was some ground for his apprehensions. Could such thoughts come into his head without cause?
Next morning, Iván Dmítritch woke up in a panic with cold sweat on his forehead. He was convinced that he could be arrested at any moment. The fact that the evening's dark thoughts had haunted him so relentlessly made him think there must be some reason for his fears. Could such thoughts come to him without any reason?
A policeman walked slowly past the window; that must mean something. Two men in plain clothes stopped outside the gate, and stood without saying a word. Why were they silent?
A cop walked slowly past the window; that has to mean something. Two guys in casual clothes stopped outside the gate and stood there without saying anything. Why were they quiet?
For a time, Iván Dmítritch spent his days and nights in torture. Every man who passed the window or entered the yard was a spy or detective. Every day at twelve o'clock the Chief Constable drove through the street on his way from his suburban house to the Department of Police, and every day it seemed to Iván Dmítritch that the Constable was driving with unaccustomed haste, and that there was a peculiar expression on his face; he was going, in short, to announce that a great criminal had appeared in the town. Iván Dmítritch shuddered at every sound, trembled at every knock at the yard-gate, and was in torment when any strange man visited his landlady. When he met a gendarme in the street, he smiled, whistled, and tried to assume an indifferent air. For whole nights, expecting arrest, he never closed his eyes, but snored carefully so that his landlady might think he was asleep; for if a man did not sleep at night it meant that he was tormented by the gnawings of conscience, and that might be taken as a clue. Reality and healthy reasoning convinced him that his fears were absurd and psychopathic, and that, regarded from a broad standpoint, there was nothing very terrible in arrest and imprisonment for a man whose conscience was clean. But the more consistently and logically he reasoned the stronger grew his spiritual torture; his efforts reminded him of the efforts of a pioneer to hack a path through virgin forest, the harder he worked with the hatchet the thicker and stronger became the undergrowth. So in the end, seeing that his efforts were useless, he ceased to struggle, and gave himself up to terror and despair.
For a while, Iván Dmítritch spent his days and nights in agony. Every person who passed by the window or entered the yard felt like a spy or detective. Every day at noon, the Chief Constable drove down the street on his way from his suburban home to the Police Department, and each day it seemed to Iván Dmítritch that the Constable was driving unusually fast, wearing a strange expression; he was, in short, on his way to announce that a serious criminal had surfaced in town. Iván Dmítritch jumped at every sound, flinched at every knock on the yard gate, and was tormented whenever a stranger visited his landlady. When he encountered a gendarme in the street, he smiled, whistled, and tried to act nonchalant. He spent whole nights anticipating arrest without closing his eyes, carefully snoring so that his landlady would think he was asleep; because if a man didn't sleep at night, it meant he was plagued by guilt, which could be seen as a lead. Reality and clear thinking assured him that his fears were irrational and out of touch, and that, from a broader perspective, arrest and imprisonment weren't so terrible for a man with a clear conscience. But the more he reasoned logically, the stronger his inner torment became; his efforts reminded him of a pioneer trying to clear a path through dense forest—the harder he swung the axe, the thicker the underbrush grew. In the end, realizing his efforts were in vain, he stopped fighting and surrendered to terror and despair.
He avoided others and became more and more solitary in his habits. His duties had always been detestable, now they became intolerable. He imagined that someone would hide money in his pockets and then denounce him for taking bribes, that he would make mistakes in official documents which were equivalent to forgery, or that he would lose the money entrusted to him. Never was his mind so supple and ingenious as when he was engaged in inventing various reasons for fearing for his freedom and honour. On the other hand, his interest in the outside world decreased correspondingly, he lost his passion for books, and his memory daily betrayed him.
He stayed away from others and increasingly became a loner. His responsibilities had always been awful, but now they were unbearable. He thought that someone might secretly put money in his pockets and then accuse him of taking bribes, or that he would make mistakes in official documents that would be seen as forgery, or that he would misplace the money he was supposed to safeguard. His mind was never as sharp and creative as when he was busy coming up with various reasons to worry about his freedom and reputation. Meanwhile, his interest in the outside world diminished, he lost his love for books, and his memory failed him more each day.
Next spring when the snow had melted, the semi-decomposed corpses of an old woman and a boy, marked with indications of violence, were found in a ravine beside the graveyard. The townspeople talked of nothing but the discovery and the problem: who were the unknown murderers? In order to avert suspicion, Iván Dmítritch walked about the streets and smiled; and when he met his acquaintances, first grew pale and then blushed, and declared vehemently that there was no more detestable crime than the killing of the weak and defenceless. But this pretence soon exhausted him, and after consideration he decided that the best thing he could do was to hide in his landlady's cellar. In the cellar therefore, chilled to the bone, he remained all day, all next night, and yet another day, after which, waiting until it was dark, he crept secretly back to his room. Till daylight he stood motionless in the middle of the room, and listened. At sunrise a number of artisans rang at the gate. Iván Dmítritch knew very well that they had come to put up a new stove in the kitchen; but his terror suggested that they were constables in disguise. He crept quietly out of his room, and overcome by panic, without cap or coat, fled down the street. Behind him ran barking dogs, a woman called after him, in his ears the wind whistled, and it seemed to him that the scattered violences of the whole world had united and were chasing him through the town.
Next spring, when the snow had melted, the partially decayed bodies of an old woman and a boy, showing signs of violence, were found in a ravine next to the graveyard. The townspeople couldn't stop talking about the discovery and the mystery: who were the unknown murderers? To avoid suspicion, Iván Dmítritch strolled around the streets smiling; but when he encountered his friends, he first turned pale and then blushed, insisting passionately that there was no crime more despicable than harming the weak and defenseless. However, this act soon drained him, and after some thought, he decided the best thing to do was to hide in his landlady's cellar. So, in the cellar, chilled to the bone, he stayed all day, then all night, and another day after that. Finally, while waiting for nightfall, he quietly snuck back to his room. He stood still in the middle of the room until dawn, listening. At sunrise, several craftsmen knocked at the gate. Iván Dmítritch knew they were there to install a new stove in the kitchen, but his fear made him think they were disguised police. He stealthily left his room, and overwhelmed by panic, without hat or coat, he ran down the street. Behind him, barking dogs chased him, a woman shouted after him, and the wind whistled in his ears, making it seem as if all the chaos of the world had come together to chase him through the town.
He was captured and brought home. His landlady sent for a doctor. Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch Rágin, of whom we shall hear again, prescribed cold compresses for his head, ordered him to take drops of bay rum, and went away saying that he would come no more, as it was not right to prevent people going out of their minds. So, as there were no means of treating him at home, Iván Dmítritch was sent to hospital, and put into the ward for sick men. He did not sleep at night, was unruly, and disturbed his neighbours, so that soon, by arrangement with Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch, he was transferred to Ward No. 6. Before a year had passed, the townspeople had quite forgotten Iván Dmítritch; and his books, piled up in a sledge by his landlady and covered with a curtain, were torn to pieces by children.
He was captured and taken home. His landlady called for a doctor. Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch Rágin, who we will hear from again, prescribed cold compresses for his head, told him to take drops of bay rum, and left, saying he wouldn’t return because it wasn’t right to keep people from going insane. With no way to treat him at home, Iván Dmítritch was sent to the hospital and placed in the ward for sick men. He couldn’t sleep at night, he was restless, and he disturbed the others, so soon, in coordination with Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch, he was moved to Ward No. 6. Within a year, the townspeople had completely forgotten about Iván Dmítritch; his books, stacked in a sledge by his landlady and covered with a curtain, were ripped apart by children.
IV
Iván Dmítritch's neighbour on the left, I have already said, was the Jew Moséika; his neighbour on the right was a fat, almost globular muzhik with a dull, meaningless face. This torpid, gluttonous, and uncleanly animal had long lost all capacity for thought and feeling. He exhaled a sharp, suffocating smell. When Nikita was obliged to attend on him he used to beat him terribly, beat him with all his strength and without regard for his own fists; and it was not this violence which was so frightful—the terror of that was mitigated by custom—but the fact that the stupefied animal made no answer to the blows either by sound or movement or even by expression in his eyes, but merely rocked from side to side like a heavy cask.
Iván Dmítritch's neighbor on the left was the Jewish man Moséika, and his neighbor on the right was a fat, almost round peasant with a dull, blank face. This sluggish, gluttonous, and filthy person had long since lost any ability to think or feel. He emitted a sharp, suffocating odor. When Nikita had to serve him, he would beat him terribly, hitting him with all his strength and without considering his own fists; and it wasn't the violence that was so horrifying—the fear of that had lessened over time—but the fact that this dazed individual didn't respond to the blows with sound, movement, or even a change in his expression; he simply swayed back and forth like a heavy barrel.
The fifth and last occupant of Ward No. 6 was a townsman who had served once as a sorter in the Post Office. He was a little, thin, fair-headed man, with a kindly, but somewhat cunning face. Judged by his clever, tranquil eyes, which looked out on the world frankly and merrily, he was the possessor of some valuable and pleasant secret. Under his pillow and mattress he had something hidden which he refused to show to anyone, not out of fear of losing it, but out of shame. Occasionally he walked to the window, and turning his back upon his fellow-prisoners, held something to his breast, and looked earnestly at it; but if anyone approached he became confused and hid it away. But it was not hard to guess his secret.
The fifth and final occupant of Ward No. 6 was a local man who had once worked as a sorter at the Post Office. He was a small, thin man with fair hair and a kind, yet somewhat sly face. From his clever, calm eyes, which looked out at the world openly and cheerfully, it seemed he held some valuable and delightful secret. Under his pillow and mattress, he had something hidden that he refused to show anyone, not because he feared losing it, but out of shame. Occasionally, he walked to the window, turning his back to his fellow inmates, held something close to his chest, and stared at it intently; but if anyone got too close, he would become flustered and quickly hide it away. Still, it wasn't hard to guess what his secret was.
"Congratulate me!" he used to say to Iván Dmítritch. "I have been decorated with the Stanislas of the second degree with a star. As a rule the second degree with a star is given only to foreigners, but for some reason they have made an exception in my case." And then, shrugging his shoulders as if in doubt, he would add: "That is something you never expected, you must admit."
"Congratulations to me!" he used to say to Iván Dmítritch. "I've been awarded the Stanislas of the second degree with a star. Usually, the second degree with a star is only given to foreigners, but for some reason, they made an exception for me." Then, shrugging his shoulders as if unsure, he would add, "That's something you never expected, you have to admit."
"I understand nothing about it," answered Iván Dmítritch, gloomily.
"I don't understand anything about it," replied Iván Dmítritch, glumly.
"Do you know what I shall get sooner or later?" continued the ex-sorter, winking slyly. "I shall certainly receive the Swedish Pole Star. An order of that kind is worth trying for. A white cross and a black ribbon. It is very handsome."
"Do you know what I'm going to get sooner or later?" continued the ex-sorter, winking slyly. "I'm definitely going to receive the Swedish Polar Star. An order like that is worth going after. A white cross and a black ribbon. It looks really nice."
In no other place in the world, probably, is life so monotonous as in the wing. In the morning the patients, with the exception of the paralytic and the fat muzhik, wash themselves in a great bucket which is placed in the hall, and dry themselves in the skirts of their dressing-gowns. After this they drink tea out of tin mugs brought by Nikita from the hospital. At midday they dine on shtchi made with sour cabbage, and porridge, and in the evening they sup on the porridge left over from dinner. Between meals they lie down, sleep, look out of the windows, and walk from corner to corner.
In no other place in the world, probably, is life as monotonous as in the wing. In the morning, the patients, except for the paralytic and the overweight peasant, wash themselves in a big bucket placed in the hallway and dry off with their bathrobe sleeves. After that, they drink tea from tin mugs that Nikita brings from the hospital. At noon, they have a lunch of shtchi made with sour cabbage and porridge, and in the evening, they eat the leftover porridge from lunch. Between meals, they lie down, sleep, look out the windows, and walk back and forth.
And so on every day. Even the ex-sorter talks always of the same decorations.
And so it goes every day. Even the former sorter always talks about the same decorations.
Fresh faces are seldom seen in Ward No. 6. Years ago the doctor gave orders that no fresh patients should be admitted, and in this world people rarely visit lunatic asylums for pleasure.
Fresh faces are rarely seen in Ward No. 6. Years ago, the doctor ordered that no new patients should be admitted, and in this world, people hardly ever visit mental hospitals for enjoyment.
But once every two months comes Semión Lazaritch the barber. With Nikita's assistance, he cuts the patients hair; and on the consternation of the victims every time they see his drunken, grinning face, there is no need to dwell.
But once every two months, Semión Lazaritch the barber shows up. With Nikita's help, he cuts the patients' hair; and every time the victims see his drunken, grinning face, it's enough to say it's unsettling.
With this exception no one ever enters the ward. From day to day the patients are condemned to see only Nikita. But at last a strange rumour obtained circulation in the hospital. It was rumoured the doctor had begun to pay visits to Ward No. 6.
With this exception, no one ever enters the ward. Day after day, the patients are stuck seeing only Nikita. But at last, a strange rumor started going around the hospital. It was said that the doctor had begun to visit Ward No. 6.
V
It was indeed a strange rumour!
It was definitely a strange rumor!
Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch Rágin was a remarkable man in his way. In early youth, so they said, he was very pious, and intended to make a career in the Church. But when in the year 1863 he finished his studies in the gymnasium and prepared to enter the Ecclesiastical Academy, his father, a surgeon and a doctor of medicine, poured ridicule on these intentions, and declared categorically that if Andréi became a priest he would disown him for ever. Whether this story is true or not it is impossible to say, but it is certain that Andréi Yéfimitch more than once admitted that he had never felt any vocation for medicine or, indeed, for specialised sciences at all.
Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch Rágin was an exceptional man in his own way. In his early youth, it was said that he was very religious and intended to pursue a career in the Church. However, when he finished his studies at the gymnasium in 1863 and prepared to enter the Ecclesiastical Academy, his father, a surgeon and a doctor of medicine, mocked these aspirations and clearly stated that if Andréi became a priest, he would disown him forever. Whether this story is true or not is hard to determine, but it is clear that Andréi Yéfimitch admitted more than once that he had never felt any calling for medicine or, in fact, for specialized sciences at all.
Certain it is, also, that he never became a priest, but completed a course of study in the medical faculty of his university. He showed no particular trace of godliness, and at the beginning of his medical career was as little like a priest as at the end.
It's also clear that he never became a priest, but finished a course of study in the medical faculty at his university. He didn’t show any signs of being religious, and at the start of his medical career, he was just as unlike a priest as he was at the end.
In appearance he was as heavy and rudely built as a peasant. His bearded face, his straight hair, and his strong, awkward build recalled some innkeeper on a main road—incontinent and stubborn. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and had enormous feet, and hands with which, it seemed, he could easily crush the life out of a man's body. Yet his walk was noiseless, cautious, and insinuating; and when he met anyone in a narrow passage he was always the first to step aside, and to say—not as might be expected in a bass voice—in a soft, piping tenor: "Excuse me!"
He looked heavy and roughly built like a farmer. His bearded face, straight hair, and strong, clumsy build reminded one of some innkeeper on a busy road—unrestrained and stubborn. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with huge feet and hands that seemed capable of easily crushing a man's life out of him. Yet, his walk was silent, careful, and subtle; when he encountered someone in a narrow hallway, he always stepped aside first and said—not in the expected deep voice—but in a soft, high-pitched tone: "Excuse me!"
On his neck Andréi Yéfimitch had a small tumour which forbade his wearing starched collars; he always wore a soft linen or print shirt. Indeed, in no respect did he dress like a doctor; he wore the same suit for ten years, and when he did buy new clothing—at a Jew's store—it always looked as worn and crumpled as his old clothes. In one and the same frock-coat he received his patients, dined, and attended entertainments; and this not from penuriousness but from a genuine contempt for appearances.
On his neck, Andréi Yéfimitch had a small tumor that prevented him from wearing starched collars; he always opted for a soft linen or print shirt. In fact, he didn’t dress like a doctor at all; he wore the same suit for ten years, and when he finally bought new clothes—at a Jewish store—they always looked just as worn and wrinkled as his old ones. He wore the same frock coat to see patients, have dinner, and go to events; this wasn’t out of stinginess but from a real disdain for appearances.
When Andréi Yéfimitch first came to the town to take up his duties as physician to the hospital, that "charitable institution" was in a state of inconceivable disorder. In the wards, in the corridors, and even in the open air of the yard it was impossible to breathe owing to the stench. The male attendants, the nurses and their children, slept in the dormitories together with the patients. It was complained that the hospital was becoming uninhabitable owing to the invasion of beetles, bugs, and mice. In the surgical department there were only two scalpels, nowhere was there a thermometer, and the baths were used for storing potatoes in. The superintendent, the housekeeper, and the feldscher robbed the sick, and of the former doctor, Andréi Yéfimitch's predecessor, it was said that he sold the hospital spirits secretly, and kept up a whole harem recruited from among the nurses and female patients. In the town these scandals were well-known and even exaggerated; but the townspeople were indifferent, and even excused the abuses on the ground that the patients were all either petty tradespeople or peasants who lived at home among conditions so much worse that they had no right to complain; such gentry, they added, must not expect to be fed on grouse! Others argued that as no small town had sufficient resources to support a good hospital without subsidies from the Zemstvo, they might thank God they had a bad one; and the Zemstvo refused to open a hospital in the town on the ground that there was already one.
When Andréi Yéfimitch first arrived in the town to start his job as the hospital physician, that "charitable institution" was in a state of unimaginable chaos. In the wards, corridors, and even outside in the yard, it was impossible to breathe because of the awful smell. The male attendants, nurses, and their children all slept in the dormitories with the patients. People complained that the hospital was becoming unlivable due to an infestation of beetles, bedbugs, and mice. In the surgical department, there were only two scalpels, there wasn’t a thermometer in sight, and the baths were being used to store potatoes. The superintendent, housekeeper, and feldscher were stealing from the sick, and it was said that Andréi Yéfimitch's predecessor, the former doctor, secretly sold the hospital's alcohol and kept a whole harem made up of nurses and female patients. In town, these scandals were well-known and even exaggerated; however, the townspeople were indifferent and even justified the abuses, arguing that the patients were mostly petty tradespeople or peasants who lived in conditions far worse than this and had no right to complain; such people, they said, shouldn’t expect to be treated like aristocrats! Others claimed that since no small town had enough resources to maintain a decent hospital without subsidies from the Zemstvo, they should be grateful to even have a bad one; and the Zemstvo refused to open a new hospital in the town, saying there was already one.
When he inspected the hospital for the first time Andréi Yéfimitch saw at once that the whole institution was hopelessly bad, and in the highest degree dangerous to the health of the inmates. He concluded that the best thing to do was to discharge the patients and to close the hospital. But he knew that to effect this his wish alone was not enough; and he reasoned that if the physical and moral uncleanliness were driven from one place it would merely be transplanted to another; it was necessary, in fact, to wait until it cleaned itself out. To these considerations he added that if people opened a hospital and tolerated its abuses they must have need of it; and, no doubt, such abominations were necessary, and in the course of time would evolve something useful, as good soil results from manuring. And, indeed, on this earth there is nothing good that has not had evil germs in its beginnings.
When he first inspected the hospital, Andréi Yéfimitch immediately realized that the whole place was in terrible condition and highly dangerous to the patients’ health. He decided that the best course of action would be to discharge the patients and shut down the hospital. But he understood that his desire alone wouldn't be enough to make that happen; he thought that if physical and moral filth were eradicated from one location, it would just move to another. It was necessary to wait until it cleaned itself up. He considered that if people set up a hospital and put up with its issues, they must really need it; and surely, such awful conditions had their purpose and, over time, would lead to something valuable, just as good soil comes from being enriched with manure. In fact, on this earth, nothing good has ever come about without having some evil elements in its origins.
Having taken up his duties, therefore, Andréi Yéfimitch looked upon the abuses with apparent indifference. He merely asked the servants and nurses not to sleep in the wards, and bought two cases of instruments; but he allowed the superintendent, the housekeeper, and the feldscher to remain in their positions.
Having started his duties, Andréi Yéfimitch seemed to look at the abuses with indifference. He simply asked the servants and nurses not to sleep in the wards and bought two cases of instruments; but he let the superintendent, the housekeeper, and the feldscher keep their positions.
Andréi Yéfimitch was passionately enamoured of intellect and honesty, but he had neither the character nor the confidence in his own powers necessary to establish around himself an intelligent and honest life. To command, to prohibit, to insist, he had never learned; It seemed almost that he had sworn an oath never to raise his voice or to use the imperative mood. ... Even to use the words "give" or "bring" was difficult for him. When he felt hungry, he coughed irresolutely and said to his cook, "Suppose I were to have a cup of tea," or "I was thinking about dining." To tell the superintendent that he must cease his robberies, to dismiss him, or to abolish altogether his parasitical office he had not the strength. "When he was deceived or flattered, or handed accounts for signature which he knew to have been falsified, he would redden all over and feel guilty, yet sign the accounts; and when the patients complained that they were hungry or had been ill-treated by the nurses, he merely got confused, and stammered guiltily:
Andréi Yéfimitch was deeply in love with intelligence and honesty, but he didn’t have the personality or the self-confidence needed to create an intelligent and honest life around him. He had never learned to give orders, to prohibit, or to insist. It seemed like he had sworn an oath never to raise his voice or use commands. Even saying "give" or "bring" was a struggle for him. When he felt hungry, he would cough uncertainly and say to his cook, "What if I had a cup of tea?" or "I was thinking about dinner." He didn't have the strength to tell the superintendent to stop stealing, to fire him, or to get rid of his useless position entirely. When he was deceived or flattered, or when he received falsified accounts for signature, he would blush all over and feel guilty, yet still sign the documents; and when the patients complained about being hungry or mistreated by the nurses, he just got overwhelmed and stammered apologetically:
"Very well, very well, I will investigate the matter. ... No doubt there is some misunderstanding...."
"Alright, alright, I’ll look into it. ... There’s definitely some confusion going on...."
At first Andréi Yéfimitch worked very zealously. He attended to patients from morning until dinner-time, performed operations, and even occupied himself with obstetrics. He gained a reputation for exceptional skill in the treatment of women and children. But he soon began visibly to weary of the monotony and uselessness of his work. One day he would receive thirty patients, the next day the number had grown to thirty-five, the next day to forty, and so on from day to day, from year to year. Yet the death-rate in the town did not decrease, and the number of patients never grew less. To give any real assistance to forty patients in the few hours between morning and dinner-time was physically impossible; in other words, he became an involuntary deceiver. The twelve thousand persons received every year, he reasoned, were therefore twelve thousand dupes. To place the serious cases in the wards and treat them according to the rules of medical science was impossible, because there were no rules and no science; whereas if he left philosophy and followed the regulations pedantically as other doctors did, he would still be in difficulty, for in the first place were needed cleanliness and fresh air, and not filth; wholesome food, and not shtchi made of stinking sour cabbage; and honest assistants, not thieves.
At first, Andréi Yéfimitch worked very hard. He saw patients from morning until lunchtime, performed surgeries, and even dealt with obstetrics. He earned a reputation for exceptional skill in treating women and children. But he soon started to feel tired of the monotony and futility of his work. One day he would see thirty patients, the next day it increased to thirty-five, then to forty, and so on, day after day, year after year. Yet the death rate in the town didn't decrease, and the number of patients never diminished. Providing real help to forty patients in the few hours between morning and lunchtime was physically impossible; in other words, he became an unintentional liar. The twelve thousand people he treated each year, he reasoned, were therefore twelve thousand fools. It was impossible to place serious cases in the wards and treat them according to the principles of medical science because there were no principles and no science; if he abandoned philosophy and followed the rules rigidly like other doctors, he would still be in trouble, because first and foremost, cleanliness and fresh air were needed, not filth; healthy food, not shtchi made from rotten sour cabbage; and honest assistants, not thieves.
And, indeed, why hinder people dying, if death is the normal and lawful end of us all? What does it matter whether some tradesman or petty official lives, or does not live, an extra five years? We pretend to see the object of medical science in its mitigation of suffering, but we cannot but ask ourselves the question: Why should suffering be mitigated? In the first place, we are told that suffering leads men to perfection; and in the second, it is plain that if men were really able to alleviate their sufferings with pills and potions, they would abandon that religion and philosophy in which until now they had found not only consolation, but even happiness. Pushkin suffered agonising torment before his death; Heine lay for years in a state of paralysis. Why, then, interfere with the sufferings of some mere Andréi Yéfimitch or Matrena Savishin, whose lives are meaningless, and would be as vacuous as the life of the amoeba if it were not for suffering?
And really, why stop people from dying, if death is the natural and inevitable end for all of us? What difference does it make if some shopkeeper or minor official lives for an extra five years? We act like the goal of medicine is to ease suffering, but we have to ask ourselves: Why should suffering be eased? First, we're told that suffering helps people grow and improve; and second, it's clear that if people could truly relieve their suffering with medicine, they would give up the religion and philosophy that have provided them with both comfort and happiness. Pushkin endured excruciating pain before his death; Heine spent years paralyzed. So why interfere with the suffering of someone like Andréi Yéfimitch or Matrena Savishin, whose lives are meaningless and would be as empty as an amoeba's existence if it weren't for suffering?
Defeated by such arguments, Andréi Yéfimitch dropped his hands upon his knees, and ceased his daily attendances at the hospital.
Defeated by those arguments, Andréi Yéfimitch dropped his hands onto his knees and stopped going to the hospital every day.
VI
His life passed thus. At eight in the morning he rose and took his breakfast. After that he either sat in his study and read, or visited the hospital. In the hospital in a narrow, dark corridor waited the out-patients. With heavy boots clattering on the brick floor, servants and nurses ran past them; emaciated patients in dressing-gowns staggered by; and vessels of filth, and corpses were carried out. And among them children cried and draughts blew. Andréi Yéfimitch knew well that to the fevered, the consumptive, and the impressionable such surroundings were torment; but what could he do? In the reception-room he was met by the feldscher, Sergéi Sergéyitch, a little fat man, with a beardless, well-washed, puffy face, and easy manners. Sergéi Sergéyitch always wore clothes which resembled a senator's more than a surgeon's; in the town he had a large practice, and believed that he knew more than the doctor, who had no practice at all. In the corner of the room hung a case of ikons with a heavy lamp in front; on the walls were portraits of bishops, a view of Sviatogorsk Monastery, and garlands of withered corn-flowers. Sergéi Sergéyitch was religious, and the images had been placed in the room at his expense; every Sunday by his command one of the patients read the acathistus, and when the reading was concluded, Sergéi Sergéyitch went around the wards with a censer and sprinkled them piously.
His life went on like this. He got up at eight in the morning and had breakfast. After that, he either sat in his study and read or visited the hospital. In the hospital, outpatients waited in a narrow, dim corridor. With heavy boots clanging on the brick floor, servants and nurses rushed past them; emaciated patients in dressing gowns staggered by; and dirty containers and corpses were carried out. Children cried and drafts blew among them. Andréi Yéfimitch understood that for the feverish, the tuberculous, and the sensitive, such surroundings were torture; but what could he do? In the reception area, he was greeted by the feldscher, Sergéi Sergéyitch, a short, chubby man with a clean-shaven, washed, puffy face and a laid-back demeanor. Sergéi Sergéyitch always wore clothes that looked more like a senator's than a surgeon's; he had a large practice in town and believed he knew more than the doctor, who had no practice at all. In the corner of the room hung a case of icons with a heavy lamp in front of it; on the walls were portraits of bishops, a view of Sviatogorsk Monastery, and garlands of dried cornflowers. Sergéi Sergéyitch was religious, and he had arranged for the images to be placed in the room at his expense; every Sunday, by his order, one of the patients read the acathistus, and when the reading was finished, Sergéi Sergéyitch went around the wards with a censer and sprinkled them with piety.
There were many patients and little time. The examination was therefore limited to a few short questions, and to the distribution of such simple remedies as castor-oil and ointments. Andréi Yéfimitch sat with his head resting on his hands, lost in thought, and asked questions mechanically; and Sérgei Sergéyitch sat beside him, and sometimes interjected a word.
There were lots of patients and not much time. So, the exam was cut down to just a few quick questions and handing out basic remedies like castor oil and ointments. Andréi Yéfimitch sat with his head resting on his hands, lost in thought, asking questions on autopilot, while Sérgei Sergéyitch sat next to him, occasionally chiming in with a comment.
"We become ill and suffer deprivation," he would sometimes say, "only because we pray too little to God."
"We get sick and go through tough times," he would sometimes say, "only because we don’t pray enough to God."
In these hours Andréi Yéfimitch performed no operations; he had got out of practice, and the sight of blood affected him unpleasantly. When he had to open a child's mouth, to examine its throat for instance, if the child cried and defended itself with its hands, the doctor's head went round and tears came into his eyes. He made haste to prescribe a remedy, and motioned to the mother to take it away as quickly as possible.
In those hours, Andréi Yéfimitch didn’t do any surgeries; he had lost his touch and the sight of blood made him uncomfortable. When he had to open a child's mouth to check their throat, if the child cried and fought back with their hands, the doctor's head would spin and tears would well up in his eyes. He rushed to prescribe a treatment and signaled to the mother to take the child away as quickly as she could.
He quickly wearied of the timidity of the patients, of their shiftless ways, of the proximity of the pompous Sérgei Sergéyitch, of the portraits on the walls, and of his own questions—questions which he had asked without change for more than twenty years.
He quickly grew tired of the patients' timidity, their aimless behavior, the constant presence of the pompous Sérgei Sergéyitch, the portraits on the walls, and his own questions—questions he had been asking without variation for more than twenty years.
And he would sometimes leave the hospital after having examined five or six patients, the remainder in his absence being treated by the feldscher.
And sometimes he would leave the hospital after examining five or six patients, while the rest were treated by the feldscher in his absence.
With the pleasant reflection that thank God he had no private practice and no one to interfere with him, Andréi Yéfimitch on returning home would sit at his study-table and begin to read. He read much, and always with pleasure. Half his salary went on the purchase of books, and of the six rooms in his flat three were crowded with books and old newspapers. Above all things he loved history and philosophy; but of medical publications he subscribed only to The Doctor, which he always began to read at the end. Every day he read uninterruptedly for several hours, and it never wearied him. He read, not quickly and eagerly as Iván Dmítritch had read, but slowly, often stopping at passages which pleased him or which he did not understand. Beside his books stood a decanter of vodka, and a salted cucumber or soaked apple; and every half-hour he poured himself out a glass of vodka, and drank it without lifting his eyes from his book, and then—again without lifting his eyes—took the cucumber and bit a piece off.
With the comforting thought that, thankfully, he had no private practice and no one bothering him, Andréi Yéfimitch would return home, sit at his study table, and start reading. He read a lot and always enjoyed it. Half of his salary was spent on buying books, and out of the six rooms in his apartment, three were filled with books and old newspapers. Above all things, he loved history and philosophy, but for medical publications, he only subscribed to The Doctor, which he always started reading from the back. Every day, he read uninterrupted for several hours, and it never got tiring for him. He read slowly, not with the quick eagerness that Iván Dmítritch had, often pausing at passages that he found enjoyable or confusing. Next to his books was a decanter of vodka and a salted cucumber or soaked apple; every half hour, he poured himself a glass of vodka and drank it without looking up from his book, then—again without lifting his gaze—he took the cucumber and bit into it.
At three o'clock he would walk cautiously to the kitchen door, cough, and say:
At three o'clock, he would carefully walk to the kitchen door, cough, and say:
"Dáryushka, I was thinking of dining...."
"Dáryushka, I was thinking about having dinner...."
After a bad and ill-served dinner, Andréi Yéfimitch walked about his rooms, with his arms crossed on his chest, and thought. Sometimes the kitchen door creaked, and the red, sleepy face of Dáryushka appeared.
After a bad and poorly served dinner, Andréi Yéfimitch walked around his rooms, arms crossed over his chest, lost in thought. Occasionally, the kitchen door creaked open, revealing the red, sleepy face of Dáryushka.
"Andréi Yéfimitch, is it time for your beer?" she would ask solicitously.
"Andréi Yéfimitch, is it time for your beer?" she would ask kindly.
"No, not yet," he would answer. "I'll wait a little longer...."
"No, not yet," he would reply. "I'll wait a bit longer...."
In the evening came the postmaster, Mikhail Averyanitch, the only man in the town whose society did not weary Andréi Yéfimitch. Mikhail Averyanitch had once been a rich country gentleman and had served in a cavalry regiment, but having ruined himself he took a position in the Post Office to save himself from beggary in his old age. He hod a brisk, wholesome appearance, magnificent grey whiskers, well-bred manners, and a loud but pleasant voice. When visitors at the Post Office protested, refused to agree with him, or began to argue, Mikhail Averyanitch became purple, shook all over, and roared at the top of his voice: "Silence!" so that the Post Office had the reputation of a place of terror. Mikhail Averyanitch was fond of Andréi Yéfimitch and respected his attainments and the nobility of his heart. But the other townspeople he treated haughtily as inferiors.
In the evening, the postmaster, Mikhail Averyanitch, arrived—the only person in town whose company didn't wear Andréi Yéfimitch out. Mikhail Averyanitch had once been a wealthy country gentleman and served in a cavalry regiment, but after losing everything, he took a job at the Post Office to avoid poverty in his old age. He had a lively, robust appearance, magnificent gray whiskers, polished manners, and a loud but friendly voice. When visitors at the Post Office disagreed with him, refused to cooperate, or started arguing, Mikhail Averyanitch would turn purple, shake all over, and shout at the top of his lungs: "Silence!" so the Post Office gained a reputation for being intimidating. Mikhail Averyanitch liked Andréi Yéfimitch and respected his talents and the nobility of his heart. However, he treated the other townspeople with disdain, seeing them as beneath him.
"Well, here I am!" he would begin. "How are you, my dear?... But perhaps I bore you? Eh?"
"Well, here I am!" he would start. "How are you, my dear?... But maybe I'm boring you? Huh?"
"On the contrary. I am delighted," answered the doctor. "I am always glad to see you."
"Not at all. I'm really happy to see you," replied the doctor. "I'm always glad to have you around."
The friends would sit on the study sofa and smoke for a time silently.
The friends would sit on the study sofa and smoke quietly for a while.
"Dáryushka, suppose I were to have a little beer..." said Andréi Yéfimitch.
"Dáryushka, imagine if I had a little beer..." said Andréi Yéfimitch.
The first bottle was drunk in silence. The doctor was lost in thought, while Mikhail Averyanitch had the gay and active expression of a man who has something very interesting to relate. The conversation was always begun by the doctor.
The first bottle was consumed in silence. The doctor was deep in thought, while Mikhail Averyanitch had the cheerful and lively expression of someone with an intriguing story to tell. The doctor was always the one to start the conversation.
"What a pity!" he would say, slowly and quietly, looking away from his friend—he never looked anyone in the face. "What a pity, my dear Mikhail Averyanitch, what a pity it is that there is not a soul in this town who cares to engage in an intellectual or interesting conversation! It is a great deprivation for us. Even the so-called intelligent classes never rise above commonplaces; the level of their development, I assure you, is no higher than that of the lower order."
"What a shame!" he would say, slowly and quietly, looking away from his friend—he never made eye contact. "What a shame, my dear Mikhail Averyanitch, it’s really unfortunate that there isn't a single person in this town who wants to have an intellectual or interesting conversation! It’s a huge loss for us. Even the so-called intelligent classes never get past cliché topics; I assure you, their level of development is no better than that of the lower class."
"Entirely true. I agree with you."
"Absolutely true. I see your point."
"As you yourself know very well," continued the doctor, pausing intermittently, "as you know, everything in this world is insignificant and uninteresting except the higher phenomena of the human intellect. Intellect creates a sharp distinction between the animal and the man, it reminds the latter of his divinity, and to a certain extent compensates him for the immortality which he has not. As the result of this, intellect serves as the only fountain of enjoyment. When we say we see and hear around us no evidence of intellect, we mean thereby that we are deprived of true happiness. True, we have our books, but that is a very different thing from living converse and communication. If I may use a not very apt simile, books are the accompaniment, but conversation is the singing.'"
"As you know very well," the doctor continued, pausing occasionally, "everything in this world is insignificant and uninteresting except for the higher aspects of human intellect. Intellect creates a clear distinction between animals and humans, reminding us of our divinity and, to some extent, compensating for the immortality we lack. As a result, intellect is the only source of true enjoyment. When we say we don't see or hear any evidence of intellect around us, we mean that we are lacking true happiness. Sure, we have our books, but that's very different from real conversation and communication. If I may use a somewhat imperfect analogy, books are the background music, but conversation is the actual singing."
"That is entirely true."
"That's completely true."
A silence followed. From the kitchen came Dáryushka, and, with her head resting on her hands and an expression of stupid vexation on her face, stood at the door and listened.
A silence followed. From the kitchen came Dáryushka, and, with her head resting on her hands and a look of dumb annoyance on her face, she stood at the door and listened.
"Akh!" sighed Mikhail Averyanitch, "why seek intellect among the men of the present day?" And he began to relate how in the old days life was wholesome, gay, and interesting, how the intellect of Russia was really enlightened, and how high a place was given to the ideas of honour and friendship. Money was lent without I. O. U.'s, and it was regarded as shameful not to stretch out the hand of aid to a needy friend. What marches there were, what adventures, what fights, what companions-in-arms, what women! The Caucasus, what a marvellous country! And the wife of the commander of his battalion—what a strange woman!—who put on an officer's uniform and drove into the mountains at night without an escort. They said she had a romance with a prince in one of the villages.
"Akh!" sighed Mikhail Averyanitch, "why look for brains among people today?" And he started to talk about how life used to be wholesome, fun, and interesting, how Russia's intellect was genuinely enlightened, and how much value was placed on ideas of honor and friendship. Money was lent without any IOUs, and it was considered shameful not to lend a hand to a friend in need. The marches, the adventures, the fights, the comrades, the women! The Caucasus, what an incredible place! And the wife of his battalion commander—what a peculiar woman!—who wore an officer's uniform and rode into the mountains at night without anyone to accompany her. They said she had a romance with a prince from one of the villages.
"Heavenly mother! Lord preserve us!" sighed Dáryushka.
"Heavenly Mother! Lord, help us!" sighed Dáryushka.
"And how we drank! How we used to eat! What desperate Liberals we were!"
"And how we drank! How we used to eat! What desperate Liberals we were!"
Andréi Yéfimitch listened, but heard nothing; he was thinking of something else and drinking his beer.
Andréi Yéfimitch listened, but he didn't hear anything; he was lost in thought and sipping his beer.
"I often dream of clever people and have imaginary conversations with them," he said, suddenly, interrupting Mikhail Averyanitch. "My father gave me a splendid education, but, under the influence of the ideas current in the sixties, forced me to become a doctor. It seems to me that if I had disobeyed him I might now be living in the very centre of the intellectual movement—probably a member of some faculty. Of course intellect itself is not eternal but transitory—but you already know why I worship it so. Life is a vexatious snare. When a reflecting man attains manhood and ripe consciousness, he cannot but feel himself in a trap from which there is no escape.... By an accident, without consulting his own will, he is called from non-existence into life.... Why? He wishes to know the aim and significance of his existence; he is answered with silence or absurdities; he knocks but it is not opened to him; and death itself comes against his will. And so, as prisoners united by common misfortune are relieved when they meet, men inclined to analysis and generalisation do not notice the snare in which they live when they spend their days in the exchange of free ideas. In this sense intellect is an irreplaceable enjoyment."
"I often dream about smart people and have imaginary conversations with them," he said suddenly, cutting off Mikhail Averyanitch. "My dad gave me a great education, but, influenced by the ideas popular in the sixties, he pushed me to become a doctor. I feel like if I had disobeyed him, I might be living right in the heart of the intellectual movement—probably part of some faculty. Of course, intellect itself isn't eternal but transient—but you already know why I admire it so much. Life is a frustrating trap. When a thoughtful person reaches adulthood and full awareness, they can't help but feel stuck in a situation with no way out.... By chance, without choosing it, they are brought from nothingness into life.... Why? They want to know the purpose and meaning of their existence; they are met with silence or nonsense; they knock, but no one answers; and death arrives against their wishes. So, just as prisoners bonded by shared misfortune find relief when they meet, people who like to analyze and generalize overlook the trap they live in when they spend their days exchanging free ideas. In this way, intellect is an irreplaceable pleasure."
"Entirely true!"
"Absolutely true!"
And still with his face averted from his companion, Andréi Yéfimitch, in a soft voice, with constant pauses, continues to speak of clever men and of the joy of communion with them, and Mikhail Averyanitch listens attentively and says: "It is entirely true."
And still with his face turned away from his companion, Andréi Yéfimitch, in a soft voice, with frequent pauses, keeps talking about smart people and the joy of connecting with them, and Mikhail Averyanitch listens closely and says, "That's completely true."
"Then you do not believe in the immortality of the soul?" asks the postmaster.
"Then you don't believe in the immortality of the soul?" asks the postmaster.
"No, my dear Mikhail Averyanitch. I do not believe, and I have no reason for believing."
"No, my dear Mikhail Averyanitch. I don’t believe, and I have no reason to believe."
"I admit that I also doubt it. Still I have a feeling that I can never die. 'Come,' I say to myself, 'Come, old man, it's time for you to die.' But in my heart a voice answers: 'Don't believe it, you will never die.'"
"I'll admit that I have my doubts too. But I can't shake the feeling that I won't ever die. 'Come on,' I tell myself, 'It's time for you to die, old man.' Yet deep down, a voice replies: 'Don't believe it, you'll never die.'"
At nine o'clock Mikhail Averyanitch takes leave. As he puts on his overcoat in the hall, he says with a sigh:
At nine o'clock, Mikhail Averyanitch says goodbye. As he puts on his overcoat in the hallway, he sighs and says:
"Yes, what a desert fate has planted us in! And what is worst of all, we shall have to die here. Akh!"
"Yes, what a desolate fate we’ve been placed in! And worst of all, we’ll have to die here. Akh!"
VII
When he has parted from his friend, Andréi Yéfimitch sits at his table and again begins to read. The stillness of evening, the stillness of night is unbroken by a single sound; time, it seems, stands still and perishes, and the doctor perishes also, till it seems that nothing exists but a book and a green lamp-shade. Then the rude, peasant face of the doctor, as he thinks of the achievements of the human intellect, becomes gradually illumined by a smile of emotion and rapture. Oh, why is man not immortal? he asks. For what end exist brain-centres and convolutions, to what end vision, speech, consciousness, genius, if all are condemned to pass into the earth, to grow cold with it, and for countless millions of years, without aim or object, to be borne with it around the sun? In order that the human frame may decay and be whirled around the sun, is it necessary to drag man with his high, his divine mind, out of non-existence, as if in mockery, and to turn him again into earth?
When he has said goodbye to his friend, Andréi Yéfimitch sits at his table and starts reading again. The evening and night are completely quiet; it feels like time has stopped and is fading away, and so is the doctor, until it seems that nothing exists except a book and a green lampshade. Then the rough, peasant face of the doctor, as he reflects on the achievements of human intellect, slowly brightens with a smile of emotion and wonder. Oh, why isn’t man immortal? he wonders. What’s the purpose of brain centers and convolutions, vision, speech, consciousness, and genius if they are all destined to return to the earth, to grow cold with it, and for countless millions of years, without any reason or goal, to be carried around the sun with it? Is it necessary for the human body to decay and orbit the sun, while dragging man—with his elevated, divine mind—out of non-existence, as if in mockery, only to turn him back into earth?
Immortality of matter! What cowardice to console ourselves with this fictitious immortality! Unconscious processes working themselves out in Nature—processes lower even than folly, for in folly there is at least consciousness and volition, while in these processes there is neither! Yet they say to men, "Be at rest, thy substance, rotting in the earth, will give life to other organisms "—in other words, thou wilt be more foolish than folly! Only the coward, who has more fear of death than sense of dignity, can console himself with the knowledge that his body in the course of time will live again in grass, in stones, in the toad. To seek immortality in the indestructibility of matter is, indeed, as strange as to prophesy a brilliant future for the case when the costly violin is broken and worthless.
Immortality of matter! What a cowardly way to comfort ourselves with this imaginary immortality! Unconscious processes unfolding in Nature—processes even lower than foolishness, because in foolishness there is at least awareness and choice, while in these processes, there is neither! Yet they tell people, "Don’t worry, your body, decomposing in the ground, will give life to other organisms"—in other words, you'll end up being even more foolish than foolishness itself! Only the coward, who fears death more than values dignity, can find solace in the idea that his body will eventually live on in grass, stones, or a toad. To seek immortality in the unbreakable nature of matter is truly as bizarre as predicting a bright future for a broken, worthless violin.
When the clock strikes, Andréi Yéfimitch leans back in his chair, shuts his eyes, and thinks. Under the influence of the lofty thoughts which he has just been reading, he throws a glance over the present and the past. The past is repellent, better not think of it! And the present is but as the past. He knows that in this very moment, while his thoughts are sweeping round the sun with the cooling earth, in the hospital building in a line with his lodgings, lie men tortured by pain and tormented by uncleanliness; one cannot sleep owing to the insects, and howls in his pain; another is catching erysipelas, and groaning at the tightness of his bandages; others are playing cards with the nurses, and drinking vodka. In this very year no less than twelve thousand persons were duped; the whole work of the hospital, as twenty years before, is based on robbery, scandal, intrigue, nepotism, and gross charlatanry; altogether, the hospital is an immoral institution, and a source of danger to the health of its inmates. And Andréi Yéfimitch knows that inside the iron bars of Ward No. 6, Nikita beats the patients with his fists, and that, outside, Moséika wanders about the streets begging for kopecks.
When the clock strikes, Andréi Yéfimitch leans back in his chair, shuts his eyes, and thinks. Inspired by the deep ideas he has just read, he reflects on both the present and the past. The past is off-putting; better not to dwell on it! And the present is just a repeat of the past. He knows that at this very moment, while his thoughts orbit the sun with the cooling earth, in the hospital building next to his place, there are men suffering from pain and plagued by uncleanliness; one can’t sleep because of the bugs and cries out in agony; another is dealing with erysipelas and groaning from the tightness of his bandages; others are playing cards with the nurses and drinking vodka. This year alone, twelve thousand people were fooled; the entire operation of the hospital, just like twenty years ago, relies on theft, scandal, intrigue, favoritism, and blatant quackery; overall, the hospital is an unethical institution and a threat to the health of its patients. And Andréi Yéfimitch knows that inside the iron bars of Ward No. 6, Nikita beats the patients with his fists, while outside, Moséika roams the streets begging for coins.
Yet he knows very well that in the last twenty-five years a fabulous revolution has taken place in the doctor's art. When he studied at the university it had seemed to him that medicine would soon be overtaken by the lot of alchemy and metaphysics, but now the records of its feats which he reads at night touch him, astonish him, and even send him into raptures. What a revolution! what unexpected brilliance! Thanks to antiseptics, operations are every day performed which the great Pigorof regarded as impossible. Ordinary Zemstvo doctors perform such operations as the resection of the knee articulations, of a hundred operations on the stomach only one results in death, and the stone is now such a trifle that it has ceased to be written about. Complaints which were once only alleviated are now entirely cured. And hypnotism, the theory of heredity, the discoveries of Pasteur and Koch, statistics of hygiene, even Russian Zemstvo medicine! Psychiatry, with its classification of diseases, its methods of diagnosis, its method of cure—what a transformation of the methods of the past! No longer arc lunatics drenched with cold water and confined in strait waistcoats; they are treated as human beings, and even—as Andréi Yéfimitch read in the newspapers—have their own special dramatic entertainments and dances. Andréi Yéfimitch is well aware that in the modern world such an abomination as Ward No. 6 is possible only in a town situated two hundred versts from a railway, where the Mayor and Councillors are half-educated tradesmen, who regard a doctor as a priest to whom everything must be entrusted without criticism, even though he were to dose his patients with molten tin. In any other town the public and the Press would long ago have tom this little Bastille to pieces.
Yet he knows very well that in the last twenty-five years, a fantastic revolution has taken place in medicine. When he studied at university, he thought that medicine would soon be reduced to something like alchemy and metaphysics, but now the records of its achievements that he reads at night amaze and even thrill him. What a transformation! What unexpected brilliance! Thanks to antiseptics, procedures that the great Pigorof thought were impossible are now performed daily. Regular Zemstvo doctors now carry out surgeries like knee joint resections; out of a hundred stomach operations, only one ends in death, and kidney stones have become so trivial that they’re hardly mentioned anymore. Conditions that once could only be managed are now completely cured. And then there's hypnotism, heredity theories, the discoveries of Pasteur and Koch, hygiene statistics, and even Russian Zemstvo medicine! Psychiatry, with its classification of diseases, diagnostic methods, and treatment approaches—what a change from the past! No longer are the mentally ill doused with cold water and put in straitjackets; they are treated as human beings, and even— as Andréi Yéfimitch read in the newspapers—enjoy their own special theatrical performances and dances. Andréi Yéfimitch knows that in today's world, an abomination like Ward No. 6 can only exist in a town two hundred versts from a railway, where the Mayor and Councillors are semi-educated tradesmen who view a doctor as some sort of priest to whom everything must be entrusted without questioning, even if he were to dose his patients with molten tin. In any other town, the public and the press would have long since demolished that little Bastille.
"But in the end?" asks Andréi Yéfimitch, opening his eyes. "What is the difference? In spite of antiseptics and Koch and Pasteur, the essence of the matter has no way changed. Disease and death still exist. Lunatics are amused with dances and theatricals, but they are still kept prisoners.... In other words, all these tilings are vanity and folly, and between the best hospital in Vienna and the hospital here there is in reality no difference at all."
"But in the end?" asks Andréi Yéfimitch, opening his eyes. "What's the difference? Despite antiseptics and Koch and Pasteur, the core issue hasn’t changed. Disease and death are still here. People with mental illness are entertained with dances and shows, but they are still locked away.... In other words, all these things are pointless and foolish, and between the best hospital in Vienna and the hospital here, there’s really no difference at all."
But vexation and a feeling akin to envy forbid indifference. It all arises out of weariness. Andréi Yéfimitch's head falls upon his book, he rests his head comfortably on his hands and thinks:
But irritation and a feeling similar to jealousy prevent indifference. It all stems from exhaustion. Andréi Yéfimitch's head drops onto his book, he rests his head comfortably on his hands and thinks:
"I am engaged in a bad work, and I receive a salary from the men whom I deceive. I am not an honest man.... But then by myself I am nothing; I am only part of a necessary social evil; all the officials in the district are bod, and draw their salaries without doing their work.... In other words, it is not I who am guilty of dishonesty, but Time.... If I were born two hundred years hence I should be a different man."
"I’m stuck in a bad job, and I get paid by the people I deceive. I’m not an honest person... But on my own, I'm nothing; I'm just part of a necessary social evil; all the officials in the area are corrupt and collect their salaries without doing any real work... In other words, it’s not just me who’s dishonest, but Time... If I were born two hundred years from now, I would be a different person."
When the clock strikes three, he puts out his lamp and goes up to his bedroom. But he has no wish to sleep.
When the clock hits three, he turns off his lamp and heads to his bedroom. But he doesn't feel like sleeping.
VIII
Two years ago, in a fit of liberality, the Zemstvo determined to appropriate three hundred roubles a year to the increase of the personnel of the hospital, until such time as they should open one of their own. They sent, therefore, as assistant to Andréi Yéfimitch, the district physician Yevgéniï Feódoritch Khobótoff. Khobótoff was a very young man, under thirty, bill and dark, with small eyes and high cheek-bones; evidently of Asiatic origin. He arrived in the town without a kopeck, with a small portmanteau as his only luggage, and was accompanied by a young, unattractive woman, whom he called his cook. This woman's child completed the party. Khobótoff wore a peaked cap and high boots, and—in winter—a short fur coat. He was soon on intimate terms with the feldscher, Sergéi Sergéyitch, and with the bursar, but the rest of the officials he avoided and denounced as aristocrats. He possessed only one book, "Prescriptions of the Vienna Hospital in 1881," and when he visited the hospital he always brought it with him. He did not care for cards, and in the evenings spent his time playing billiards at the club.
Two years ago, in a moment of generosity, the Zemstvo decided to set aside three hundred roubles each year to increase the staff at the hospital until they could open one of their own. They sent the district physician Yevgéniï Feódoritch Khobótoff to assist Andréi Yéfimitch. Khobótoff was a young man, under thirty, tall and dark, with small eyes and high cheekbones; he clearly had Asiatic roots. He arrived in town with no money, just a small suitcase as his only luggage, and was accompanied by a young, plain woman whom he referred to as his cook. This woman's child completed the group. Khobótoff wore a peaked cap and high boots, and during the winter, a short fur coat. He quickly became friendly with the feldscher, Sergéi Sergéyitch, and the bursar, but he steered clear of the other officials, whom he labeled as aristocrats. He owned only one book, "Prescriptions of the Vienna Hospital in 1881," and whenever he visited the hospital, he always brought it with him. He wasn’t interested in cards and spent his evenings playing billiards at the club.
Khobótoff visited the hospital twice a week, inspected the wards, and received out-patients. The strange absence of antiseptics, cupping-glasses, and other necessaries seemed to trouble him, but he made no attempt to introduce a new order, fearing to offend Andréi Yéfimitch, whom he regarded as all old rogue, suspected of having large means, and secretly envied. He would willingly have occupied his position.
Khobótoff visited the hospital twice a week, checked on the wards, and saw outpatients. The odd lack of antiseptics, cupping glasses, and other essentials seemed to bother him, but he didn't try to change anything, worried he might upset Andréi Yéfimitch, whom he thought was an old rogue, suspected of having considerable wealth, and envied in secret. He would have gladly taken his place.
IX
One spring evening towards the end of March, when the snow had disappeared and starlings sang in the hospital garden, the doctor was standing at his gate saying good-bye to his friend the postmaster. At that moment the Jew Moséika, returning with his booty, entered the yard. He was capless, wore a pair of goloshes on his stockingless feet, and held in his hand a small bag of coins.
One spring evening at the end of March, when the snow had melted and starlings were singing in the hospital garden, the doctor was standing at his gate saying goodbye to his friend the postmaster. Just then, the Jew Moséika, coming back with his loot, walked into the yard. He wasn’t wearing a hat, had on a pair of galoshes over his bare feet, and held a small bag of coins in his hand.
"Give me a kopeck?" he said to the doctor, shuddering from the cold and grinning.
"Can you spare a kopeck?" he asked the doctor, shivering from the cold and smiling.
Andréi Yéfimitch, who could refuse no one, gave him a ten-kopeck piece.
Andréi Yéfimitch, who couldn't say no to anyone, handed him a ten-kopeck coin.
"How wrong this is!" he thought, as he looked at the Jew's bare legs and thin ankles. "Wet, I suppose?" And impelled by a feeling of pity and squeamishness he entered the wing after Moséika, looking all the time now at the Jew's bald head, now at his ankles. When the doctor entered, Nikita jumped off his rubbish-heap and stretched himself.
"How wrong is this!" he thought, glancing at the Jew's bare legs and thin ankles. "Wet, I guess?" Driven by a mix of pity and discomfort, he followed Moséika into the wing, constantly shifting his gaze between the Jew's bald head and his ankles. When the doctor walked in, Nikita jumped off his pile of junk and stretched.
"Good evening, Nikita!" said the doctor softly. "Suppose you give this man a pair of boots ... that is ... he might catch cold."
"Good evening, Nikita!" the doctor said gently. "Just think about giving this man a pair of boots ... otherwise ... he might catch a cold."
"Yes, your Honour. I will ask the superintendent."
"Yes, Your Honor. I'll ask the superintendent."
"Please. Ask him in my name. Say that I spoke about it."
"Please. Ask him for me. Let him know that I mentioned it."
The door of the ward was open. Iván Dmítritch, who was lying on his bed, and listening with alarm to the unknown voice, suddenly recognised the doctor. He shook with anger, jumped oft his bed, and with a flushed, malicious face, and staring eyeballs, ran into the middle of the room.
The door to the ward was open. Iván Dmítritch, lying on his bed and listening with concern to the unfamiliar voice, suddenly recognized the doctor. He shook with rage, jumped off his bed, and with a flushed, angry face and wide-open eyes, ran into the middle of the room.
"It is the doctor!" he cried, with a loud laugh. "At last! Lord, I congratulate you, the doctor honours us with a visit! Accursed monster!" he squealed, and in an ecstacy of rage never before seen in the hospital, stamped his feet. "Kill this monster! No, killing is not enough for him! Drown him in the closet!"
"It’s the doctor!" he shouted, laughing loudly. "Finally! Wow, I congratulate you, the doctor is here to see us! Damn monster!" he yelled, and in a fit of rage never seen before in the hospital, he stamped his feet. "Get rid of this monster! No, killing him isn’t enough! Drown him in the closet!"
Andréi Yéfimitch heard him. He looked into the ward and asked mildly:
Andréi Yéfimitch heard him. He peeked into the ward and asked calmly:
"For what?"
"Why?"
"For what!" screamed Iván Dmítritch, approaching with a threatening face, and convulsively clutching his dressing-gown. "For what! Thief!" He spoke in a tone of disgust, and twisted his lips as if about to spit.
"For what!" yelled Iván Dmítritch, coming closer with a menacing expression and tightly gripping his robe. "For what! Thief!" He said it with a tone of disgust, twisting his lips as if he was about to spit.
"Charlatan! Hangman!"
"Fraud! Executioner!"
"Be quiet!" said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling guiltily. "I assure you I have never stolen anything.... I see that you are angry with me. Be calm, I implore you, if you can, and tell me why you want to kill me."
"Shh!" said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling sheepishly. "I promise I've never stolen anything... I can tell you’re upset with me. Please try to stay calm, if you can, and tell me why you want to kill me."
"For keeping me here."
"For having me here."
"I do that because you are ill."
"I do that because you're sick."
"Yes! Ill! But surely tens, hundreds, thousands of madmen live unmolested merely because you in your ignorance cannot distinguish them from the sane. You, the feldscher, the superintendent, all the rascals employed in the hospital are immeasurably lower in morals than the worst of us; why, then, are we here instead of you? Where is the logic?"
"Yes! Sick! But surely tens, hundreds, thousands of crazy people live freely just because you, in your ignorance, can't tell them apart from the sane. You, the medical assistant, the director, all the crooks working in the hospital are way lower in morals than the worst among us; so, why are we here instead of you? Where’s the logic?"
"It is not a question of morality or logic. It depends on circumstances. The man who is put here, here he stays, and the man who is not here lives in freedom, that is all For the fact that I am a doctor and you a lunatic neither morals nor logic is responsible, but only empty circumstance."
"It’s not about morality or logic. It’s about the situation. The man who is here stays here, and the one who isn’t here lives freely, that’s all. The fact that I’m a doctor and you’re considered insane isn’t due to morals or logic, but just to random circumstance."
"This nonsense I do not understand!" answered Iván Dmitri tch, sitting down on his bed.
"This nonsense I don't understand!" replied Iván Dmitri tch, sitting down on his bed.
Moséika, whom Nikita was afraid to search in the doctor's presence, spread out on his bed his booty—pieces of bread, papers, and bones; and trembling with the cold, talked Yiddish in a sing-song voice. Apparently he imagined that he was opening a shop.
Moséika, whom Nikita was scared to look for while the doctor was there, laid out his stash on the bed—pieces of bread, scraps of paper, and bones; shivering from the cold, he spoke Yiddish in a sing-song voice. It seemed like he thought he was opening a shop.
"Release me!" said Iván Dmítritch. His voice trembled.
"Let me go!" said Iván Dmítritch. His voice shook.
"I cannot."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
"Because it is not in my power. Judge for yourself! What good would it do you if I released you? Suppose I do! The townspeople or the police will capture you and send you back."
"Because I can't do anything about it. You decide! What good would it do you if I let you go? Let’s say I do! The townspeople or the police will catch you and bring you back."
"Yes, that is true, it is true ..." said Iván Dmítritch, rubbing his forehead. "It is terrible! But what can I do? What?"
"Yeah, that's true, it is true ..." said Iván Dmítritch, rubbing his forehead. "It's awful! But what can I do? What?"
His voice, his intelligent, youthful face pleased Andréi Yéfimitch. He wished to caress him and quiet him. He sat beside him on the bed, thought for a moment, and said:
His voice and bright, youthful face made Andréi Yéfimitch happy. He wanted to comfort him and soothe him. He sat next to him on the bed, thought for a moment, and said:
"You ask what is to be done. The best thing in your position would be to run away. But unfortunately that is useless. You would be captured. When society resolves to protect itself from criminals, lunatics, and inconvenient people, it is irresistible. One thing alone remains to you, to console yourself with the thought that your stay here is necessary."
"You’re asking what to do. The best thing for you to do would be to run away. But sadly, that's pointless. You would just get caught. When society decides to protect itself from criminals, the insane, and troublesome individuals, it’s unstoppable. The only thing left for you is to comfort yourself with the idea that your time here is necessary."
"It is necessary to no one."
"It is necessary to no one."
"Once prisons and asylums exist, someone must inhabit them. If it is not you it will be I, if not I then someone else. But wait! In the far future there will be neither prisons nor madhouses, nor barred windows, nor dressing-gowns.... Such a time will come sooner or later."
"Once prisons and asylums exist, someone has to be locked away in them. If it’s not you, then it will be me; if not me, then someone else. But hold on! In the distant future, there will be no prisons or mental hospitals, no barred windows, or gowns for patients... That time will come sooner or later."
Iván Dmítritch smiled contemptuously.
Iván Dmítritch smirked disdainfully.
"You are laughing at me," he said, winking. "Such gentry as you and your assistant Nikita have no business with the future. But you may be assured, sir, that better times are in store for us. What if I do express myself vulgarly—laugh at me!—but the dawn of a new life will shine, and truth will triumph ... and it will be on our side the holiday will be. I shall not see it, but our posterity shall.... I congratulate them with my whole soul, and rejoice—rejoice for them! Forward! God help you, friends!"
"You’re laughing at me," he said with a wink. "People like you and your assistant Nikita don’t have a stake in the future. But you can be sure, sir, that better times are ahead for us. So what if I speak a little crudely—go ahead and laugh! A new life will emerge, and truth will prevail ... and the celebration will be on our side. I might not see it, but our future generations will. I congratulate them with all my heart, and I’m happy—happy for them! Let’s move forward! God bless you, friends!"
Iván Dmítritch's eyes glittered; he rose, stretched out his eyes to the window, and said in an agitated voice:
Iván Dmítritch's eyes sparkled; he got up, looked out the window, and said in an anxious voice:
"For these barred windows I bless you. Hail to the truth! I rejoice!"
"For these barred windows, I thank you. Cheers to the truth! I'm so happy!"
"I see no cause for rejoicing," said Andréi Yéfimitch, whom Iván Dmítritch's movements, though they seemed theatrical, pleased. "Prisons and asylums will no longer be, and justice, as you put it, will triumph. But the essence of things will never change, the laws of Nature will remain the same. Men will be diseased, grow old, and die, just as now. However glorious the dawn which enlightens your life, in the end of ends you will be nailed down in a coffin and flung into a pit."
"I see no reason to celebrate," said Andréi Yéfimitch, whose movements, although they seemed dramatic, pleased Iván Dmítritch. "Prisons and asylums may disappear, and justice, as you call it, may prevail. But the core of things will never change; the laws of Nature will stay the same. People will get sick, age, and die, just like they do now. No matter how magnificent the dawn that brightens your life, in the end, you will be laid to rest in a coffin and tossed into a grave."
"But immortality?"
"But living forever?"
"Nonsense!"
"Nonsense!"
"You do not believe, but I believe. Dostoyeffsky or Voltaire or someone said that if there were no God men would have invented one. And I am deeply convinced that if there were no immortality it would sooner or later have been invented by the great human intellect."
"You don't believe, but I do. Dostoevsky or Voltaire or someone said that if there were no God, people would have made one up. And I'm really convinced that if there were no immortality, it would eventually have been created by the great human mind."
"You speak well," said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling with pleasure. "It is well that you believe. With such faith as yours you would live happily though entombed in a wall. May I asked where you were educated?"
"You speak well," said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling happily. "It's great that you have faith. With a belief like yours, you'd be happy even if you were trapped in a wall. Can I ask where you were educated?"
"I was at college, but never graduated."
"I was in college, but I never graduated."
"You are a thoughtful and penetrating man. You would find tranquillity in any environment. The free and profound thought which aspires to the comprehension of life; and high contempt for the vanity of the world—these are two blessings higher than which no man can know. And these you will enjoy though you live behind a dozen barred windows. Diogenes lived in a tub, yet he was happier than all the kings of the earth."
"You are a thoughtful and insightful person. You would find peace in any setting. The ability to think freely and deeply about life, coupled with a strong disdain for the world's superficiality—these are two gifts that surpass anything else a person can experience. And you will appreciate these gifts even if you live behind a dozen locked windows. Diogenes lived in a barrel, yet he was happier than all the kings on earth."
"Your Diogenes was a blockhead!" cried Iván Dmítritch gloomily. "What do you tell me about Diogenes and the understanding of life?" He spoke angrily, and sprang up. "I love life, love it passionately. I have the mania of persecution, a ceaseless, tormenting terror, but there are moments when I am seized by the thirst of life, and in those moments I fear to go out of my mind. I long to live ... terribly!"
"Your Diogenes was an idiot!" Iván Dmítritch exclaimed gloomily. "What are you telling me about Diogenes and understanding life?" He spoke angrily and jumped up. "I love life, love it fiercely. I have this obsession with being persecuted, a constant, overwhelming fear, but there are times when I'm hit by this intense desire to live, and in those moments, I’m terrified of losing my mind. I want to live ... so badly!"
He walked up and down the ward in agitation, and continued in a lower voice:
He paced the ward anxiously and continued in a quieter voice:
"When I meditate I am visited by visions. Men come to me, I hear voices and music, and it seems to me that I am walking through woods, on the shores of the sea; and I long passionately for the vanities and worries of life.... Tell me! What is the news?"
"When I meditate, I experience visions. Men come to me, I hear voices and music, and it feels like I'm walking through the woods or along the shores of the sea; and I deeply yearn for the distractions and concerns of life.... Tell me! What’s the news?"
"You ask about the town, or generally?"
"You asking about the town or just in general?"
"First tell me about the town, and then generally?"
"First, tell me about the town, and then give me an overall view?"
"What is there? The town is tiresome to the point of torment. There is no one to talk to, no one to listen to. There are no new people. But lately we got a new doctor, Khobótoff, a young man."
"What is there? The town is boring to the point of being unbearable. There’s no one to talk to, no one to listen to. There are no new faces. But recently we got a new doctor, Khobótoff, a young guy."
"He has been here. A fool?"
"He has been here. An idiot?"
"Yes, an uneducated man. It is strange, do you know. If you judge by metropolitan life there is no intellectual stagnation in Russia, but genuine activity; in other words, there are real men. But for some reason or other they always send such fellows here. It is an unfortunate town.'"
"Yeah, an uneducated guy. It’s strange, you know. If you look at life in the city, there’s no intellectual stagnation in Russia, just real activity; in other words, there are genuine people. But for some reason, they always send guys like that here. It’s an unfortunate town."
"An unfortunate town," sighed Iván Dmítritch. "And what news is there generally? What have you in the newspapers and reviews?"
"Such a sad town," sighed Iván Dmítritch. "And what’s the news? What do you have in the newspapers and magazines?"
In the ward it was already dark. The doctor rose, and told his patient what was being written in Russia and abroad, and what were the current tendencies of the world. Iván Dmítritch listened attentively, and asked questions. But suddenly, as if he had just remembered something terrible, he seized his head and threw himself on the bed, with his back turned to the doctor.
In the hospital room, it was already dark. The doctor got up and told his patient what was being written in Russia and around the world, and what the current trends were. Iván Dmítritch listened closely and asked questions. But suddenly, as if he had just recalled something awful, he grabbed his head and threw himself on the bed, turning his back to the doctor.
"What is the matter?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch. "You will not hear another word from me," said Iván Dmítritch rudely. "Go away!"
"What’s the problem?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch. "You won’t hear another word from me," said Iván Dmítritch rudely. "Just leave!"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"I tell you, go away! Go to the devil!"
"I’m telling you, just leave! Go to hell!"
Andréi Yéfimitch shrugged his shoulders, sighed, and left the ward. As he passed through the hall, he said: "Suppose you were to clear some of this away; Nikita.... The smell is frightful."
Andréi Yéfimitch shrugged, sighed, and left the room. As he walked through the hallway, he said, "Why don’t you clean some of this up, Nikita? The smell is terrible."
"Yes, your Honour!"
"Yes, Your Honor!"
"What a delightful young man!" thought Andréi Yéfimitch, as he walked home. "He is the first man worth talking to whom I have met all the time I have lived in this town. He can reason and interests himself only with what is essential."
"What a charming young man!" thought Andréi Yéfimitch as he walked home. "He's the first person worth talking to that I've met in all my time living in this town. He can think critically and only cares about what really matters."
As he read in his study, as he went to bed, all the time, he thought of Iván Dmítritch. When he awoke next morning, he remembered that he had made the acquaintance of a clever and interesting man. And he decided to pay him another visit at the first opportunity.
As he read in his study and got ready for bed, he constantly thought about Iván Dmítritch. When he woke up the next morning, he remembered that he had met a smart and interesting guy. He decided to visit him again at the first chance he got.
X
Iván Dmítritch lay in the same position as on the day before, holding his head in his hands, his legs being doubled up underneath him.
Iván Dmítritch lay in the same position as the day before, holding his head in his hands, his legs curled up underneath him.
"Good morning, my friend," said Andréi Yéfimitch. "You are not asleep?"
"Good morning, my friend," Andréi Yéfimitch said. "You’re not asleep, are you?"
"In the first place I am not your friend," said Iván Dmítritch, keeping his face turned towards the pillow, "and in the second, you are troubling yourself in vain; you will not get from me a single word." "That is strange," said Andréi Yéfimitch. "Yesterday we were speaking as friends, but suddenly you took offence and stopped short.... Perhaps I spoke awkwardly, or expressed opinions differing widely from your own."
"In the first place, I am not your friend," said Iván Dmítritch, keeping his face turned towards the pillow, "and secondly, you’re wasting your time; you won’t get a single word out of me." "That’s strange," said Andréi Yéfimitch. "Yesterday we were talking like friends, but suddenly you got offended and shut down.... Maybe I spoke awkwardly or shared views that were too different from yours."
"You won't catch me!" said Iván Dmítritch, rising from the bed and looking at the doctor ironically and suspiciously. "You may go and spy and cross-examine somewhere else; here there is nothing for you to do. I know very well why you came yesterday."
"You won't catch me!" Iván Dmítritch said, getting up from the bed and regarding the doctor with a mix of irony and suspicion. "You can go and snoop around or interrogate someone else; there's nothing for you to do here. I know exactly why you came yesterday."
"That is a strange idea," laughed the doctor. "But why do you assume that I am spying?"
"That’s a weird idea," the doctor laughed. "But why do you think I’m spying?"
"I assume it.... Whether spy or doctor it is all the same."
"I guess it doesn't matter. Whether you're a spy or a doctor, it's all the same."
"Yes, but ... excuse me...." The doctor sat on a stool beside the bed, and shook his head reproachfully. "Even suppose you are right, suppose I am following your words only in order to betray you to the police, what would happen? They would arrest you and try you. But then, in the dock or in prison would you be worse off than here? In exile or penal servitude you would not suffer any more than now.... What, then, do you fear?"
"Yes, but ... excuse me...." The doctor sat on a stool next to the bed and shook his head disapprovingly. "Even if you're right, and I'm just pretending to agree with you to turn you in to the police, what would happen? They'd arrest you and put you on trial. But really, would you be any worse off in court or in prison than you are here? In exile or hard labor, you wouldn't suffer any more than you do now.... So, what is it that you're afraid of?"
Apparently these words affected Iván Dmítritch. He sat down quietly.
Apparently, these words had an impact on Iván Dmítritch. He sat down quietly.
It was five o'clock, the hour when Andréi Yéfimitch usually walked up and down his room and Dáryushka asked him whether it was time for his beer. The weather was calm and clear.
It was five o'clock, the time when Andréi Yéfimitch usually paced his room, and Dáryushka asked him if it was time for his beer. The weather was calm and clear.
"After dinner I went out for a walk, and you see where I've come," said the doctor. "It is almost spring."
"After dinner, I went for a walk, and look where I ended up," said the doctor. "It's almost spring."
"What month is it?" asked Iván Dmítritch. "March?"
"What month is it?" Iván Dmítritch asked. "March?"
"Yes, we are at the end of March."
"Yes, it's the end of March."
"Is it very muddy?"
"Is it really muddy?"
"Not very. The paths in the garden are clear."
"Not really. The paths in the garden are clear."
"How glorious it would be to drive somewhere outside the town!" said Iván Dmítritch, rubbing his red eyes as if he were sleepy, "and then to return to a warm comfortable study ... and to be cured of headache by a decent doctor.... For years past I have not lived like a human being.... Things are abominable here,—intolerable, disgusting!"
"How amazing it would be to drive somewhere outside of town!" said Iván Dmítritch, rubbing his red eyes as if he were tired, "and then come back to a warm, cozy study... and get rid of my headache thanks to a good doctor... I haven't lived like a normal person in years... Things are terrible here—unbearable, disgusting!"
After last evening's excitement he was tired and weak, and he spoke unwillingly. His fingers twitched, and from his face it was plain that his head ached badly.
After last night's excitement, he was tired and weak, and he spoke reluctantly. His fingers twitched, and it was clear from his expression that he had a bad headache.
"Between a warm, comfortable study and this ward there is no difference," said Andréi Yéfimitch. "The rest and tranquillity of a man are not outside but within him."
"There's no difference between a cozy, warm study and this ward," said Andréi Yéfimitch. "A person's peace and relaxation come from within, not from their surroundings."
"What do you mean by that?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Ordinary men find good and evil outside, that is, in their carriages and comfortable rooms; but the thinking man finds them within himself."
"Regular people see good and evil in the world around them, like in their fancy cars and cozy homes; but a thoughtful person finds them within."
"Go and preach that philosophy in Greece, where it is warm and smells of oranges—it doesn't suit this climate. With whom was it I spoke of Diogenes? With you?"
"Go and spread that philosophy in Greece, where it's warm and smells like oranges—it doesn't fit in this climate. Who was I talking to about Diogenes? Was it you?"
"Yes, yesterday with me."
"Yeah, yesterday with me."
"Diogenes had no need of a study and a warm house, he was comfortable without them.... Lie in a tub and eat oranges and olives! Set him down in Russia—not in December, but even in May. He would freeze even in May with the cold."
"Diogenes didn't need a study or a warm house; he was fine without them.... Just lie in a tub and eat oranges and olives! Put him in Russia—not in December, but even in May. He'd still freeze in May with that cold."
"No. Cold, like every other feeling, may be disregarded. As Marcus Aurelius said, pain is the living conception of pain; make an effort of the will to change this conception, cease to complain, and the pain disappears. The wise man, the man of thought and penetration, is distinguished by his contempt for suffering; he is always content and he is surprised by nothing."
"No. Cold, like any other feeling, can be ignored. As Marcus Aurelius said, pain is just our perception of pain; if you make an effort to change this perception and stop complaining, the pain goes away. The wise person, someone who thinks deeply and understands well, is marked by their disdain for suffering; they are always content and nothing surprises them."
"That means that I am an idiot because I suffer, because I am discontented, and marvel at the baseness of men."
"That means I’m an idiot because I suffer, because I’m unhappy, and I’m amazed at how low people can be."
"Your discontent is in vain. Think more, and you will realise how trifling are all the things which now excite you.... Try to understand life—in this is true beatitude."
"Your dissatisfaction is pointless. Reflect more, and you'll see how insignificant all the things that currently bother you are.... Try to grasp life—in this lies true happiness."
"Understand!" frowned Iván Dmítritch. "External, internal.... Excuse me, but I cannot understand you. I know only one thing," he continued, rising and looking angrily at the doctor. "I know only that God created me of warm blood and nerves; yes! and organic tissue, if it be capable of life, must respond to irritation. And I respond to it! Pain I answer with tears and cries, baseness with indignation, meanness with repulsion. In my mind, that is right, and it is that which is called life. The lower the organism the less susceptible is it, and the more feebly it responds to irritation; the higher it is the more sensitively it responds. How is it you do not know that? A doctor—yet you do not know such truisms! If you would despise suffering, be always contented, and marvel at nothing, you must lower yourself to the condition of that...." Iván Dmítritch pointed to the fat, greasy muzhik, "or inure yourself to suffering until you lose all susceptibility—in other words, cease to live. Excuse me, but I am not a wise man and not a philosopher," continued Iván Dmítritch irritably, "and I do not understand these things. I am not in a condition to reason."
"Understand!" Ivan Dmitrievich frowned. "External, internal... Excuse me, but I can't understand you. I only know one thing," he continued, rising and looking angrily at the doctor. "I know that God made me with warm blood and nerves; yes! And any living tissue must respond to irritation. And I respond to it! I answer pain with tears and cries, dishonor with indignation, and meanness with repulsion. To me, that's what feels right, and that’s what is called life. The simpler the organism, the less sensitive it is and the more weakly it responds to irritation; the more complex it is, the more sensitively it responds. How do you not know that? You’re a doctor—yet you don’t know such basics! If you wish to look down on suffering, always be content, and be amazed by nothing, you have to lower yourself to the condition of that..." Ivan Dmitrievich pointed to the fat, greasy peasant, "or toughen yourself against suffering until you lose all sensitivity—in other words, stop living. Excuse me, but I’m not a wise man or a philosopher," Ivan Dmitrievich continued irritably, "and I don’t understand these things. I’m not in a position to reason."
"But you reason admirably."
"But you think really well."
"The Stoics whom you travesty were remarkable men, but their teaching died two thousand years ago, and since then it has not advanced, nor will it advance, an inch, for it is not a practical or a living creed. It was successful only with a minority who spent their lives in study and trifled with gospels of all sorts; the majority never understood it.... A creed which teaches indifference to wealth, indifference to the conveniences of life, and contempt for suffering, is quite incomprehensible to the great majority who never knew either wealth or the conveniences of life, and to whom contempt for suffering would mean contempt for their own lives, which are made up of feelings of hunger, cold, loss, insult, and a Hamlet-like terror of death. All life lies in these feelings, and life may be hated or wearied of, but never despised. Yes, I repeat it, the teaching of the Stoics can never have a future; from the beginning of time, life has consisted in sensibility to pain and response to irritation.[1] Iván Dmítritch suddenly lost the thread of his thoughts, ceased speaking, and nibbed his forehead irritably.
"The Stoics you mock were extraordinary individuals, but their teachings became irrelevant two thousand years ago, and since then, they haven't progressed, and they won't evolve at all because it's not a practical or vibrant belief system. It only resonated with a small group of people who devoted their lives to study and dabbled in various philosophies; the majority never grasped it. A belief system that promotes indifference to wealth, disregard for life's comforts, and disdain for suffering is completely alien to most people who have never experienced wealth or comfort, and for whom contempt for suffering would mean disdain for their own lives, which are filled with feelings of hunger, cold, loss, insult, and a Hamlet-like fear of death. All of life centers on these feelings, and while life can be hated or tiresome, it can never be looked down upon. Yes, I say again, the Stoics' teachings have no future; since the dawn of time, life has been about feeling pain and reacting to challenges.[1] Iván Dmítritch suddenly lost his train of thought, stopped talking, and irritably rubbed his forehead."
"I had something important to say, but have gone off the track," he continued. "What was I saying? Yes, this is it. One of these Stoics sold himself into slavery to redeem a friend. Now what does that mean but that even a Stoic responded to irritation, for to perform such a magnanimous deed as the min of one's self for the sake of a friend demands a disturbed and sympathetic heart I have forgotten here in prison all that I learnt, otherwise I should have oilier illustrations. But think of Christ! Christ rebelled against actuality by weeping, by smiling, by grieving, by anger, even by weariness. Not with a smile did He go forth to meet suffering, nor did He despise death, but prayed in the garden of Gethsemane that this cup might pass from Him."[2]
"I had something important to say, but I got sidetracked," he continued. "What was I saying? Oh right, here it is. One of those Stoics sold himself into slavery to save a friend. What does that mean other than that even a Stoic felt irritation? Because doing something as generous as sacrificing yourself for a friend requires a troubled and compassionate heart. I've forgotten everything I learned here in prison; otherwise, I’d have more examples. But think about Christ! Christ pushed back against reality by weeping, smiling, grieving, getting angry, and even feeling tired. He didn’t face suffering with a smile, nor did He dismiss death; instead, He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane that this cup might pass from Him."[2]
Iván Dmítritch laughed and sat down.
Iván Dmítritch laughed and took a seat.
"Suppose that contentment and tranquillity are not outside but within a man," he continued. "Suppose that we must despise suffering and marvel at nothing. But you do not say on what foundation you base this theory. You are a wise man? A philosopher?"
"Imagine that contentment and peace aren't out there but rather inside a person," he went on. "Imagine that we should look down on suffering and be amazed by nothing. But you haven't explained the basis for this theory. Are you a wise man? A philosopher?"
"I am not a philosopher, but everyone must preach this because it is rational."
"I’m not a philosopher, but everyone has to say this because it makes sense."
"But I wish to know why in this matter of understanding life, despising suffering, and the rest of it, you consider yourself competent to judge? Have you ever suffered? What is your idea of suffering? Were you ever flogged when you were a child?"
"But I want to know why you think you're qualified to judge in this situation of understanding life, dismissing suffering, and everything else? Have you ever experienced suffering? What do you think suffering is? Were you ever punished like that when you were a kid?"
"No, my parents were averse to corporal punishment."
"No, my parents didn't believe in spanking."
"But my father flogged me cruelly. He was a stern hemorrhoidal official with a long nose and a yellow neck. But what of you? In your whole life no one has ever laid a finger on you, and you are as healthy as a bull. You grew up under your father's wing, studied at his expense, and then dropped at once into a fat sinecure. More than twenty years you have lived in free lodgings, with free fire and free lights, with servants, with the right to work how, and as much as, you like, or to do nothing. By character you were an idle and a feeble man, and you strove to build up your life so as to avoid trouble. You left your work to feldschers and other scoundrels, and sat at home in warmth and quiet, heaped up money, read books, and enjoyed your own reflections about all kinds of exalted nonsense, and"—Iván Dmítritch looked at the doctor's nose—"drank beer. In one word, you have not seen life, you know nothing about it, and of realities you have only a theoretical knowledge. Yes, you despise suffering and marvel at nothing for very good reasons; because your theory of the vanity of things, external and internal happiness, contempt for life, for suffering and for death, and so on—this is the philosophy best suited to a Russian lie-abed. You see, for instance, a muzhik beating his wife. Why interfere? let him beat her! It is all the same, both will be dead sooner, or later, and then, does not the wife-beater injure himself and not his victim? To get drunk is stupid and wrong, but the man who drinks dies, and the woman who drinks dies also! A woman comes to you with a toothache. Well, what of that? Pain is the conception of pain, without sickness you cannot live, all must die, and therefore take yourself off, my good woman, and don't interfere with my thoughts and my vodka! A young man comes to you for advice: what should he do, how ought he to live? Before answering, most men would think, but your answer is always ready: Aspire to understand life and to real goodness! And what is this fantastic real goodness? No answer! We are imprisoned behind iron bars, we rot and we are tortured, but this, in reality, is reasonable and beautiful because between this ward and a comfortable warm study there is no real difference! A convenient philosophy; your conscience is clean, and you feel yourself to be a wise man. No, sir, this is not philosophy, not breadth of view, but idleness, charlatanism, somnolent folly.... Yes," repeated Iván Dmítritch angrily. "You despise suffering, but squeeze your finger in the door and you will howl for your life!"
"But my father punished me harshly. He was a strict, hemorrhoid-stricken official with a long nose and a yellow neck. But what about you? In your entire life, no one has ever touched you, and you’re as fit as a horse. You grew up under your father’s protection, studied at his expense, and then immediately jumped into a cushy job. For over twenty years, you’ve lived in free accommodations, with free heat and free lights, with servants, able to work as little or as much as you want, or to do nothing at all. By nature, you’re lazy and weak, and you’ve tried to shape your life to avoid any hassle. You left your work to feldshers and other con artists and lounged at home in warmth and peace, stacking up money, reading books, and enjoying your own thoughts about all sorts of lofty nonsense, and”—Iván Dmítritch glanced at the doctor’s nose—“drank beer. In short, you haven’t really experienced life, you know nothing about it, and your understanding of reality is purely theoretical. Yes, you look down on suffering and are amazed by nothing for very good reasons; because your theory about the futility of things, external and internal happiness, contempt for life, suffering, and death, and so on—this is the philosophy that fits a Russian slacker best. You see, for example, a peasant beating his wife. Why step in? Let him beat her! It doesn’t matter; both will be dead sooner or later, and doesn't the wife-beater end up hurting himself more than his victim? Getting drunk is stupid and wrong, but the man who drinks will die, and the woman who drinks will die too! A woman comes to you with a toothache. So what? Pain is just the idea of pain; without sickness, you can't live, everyone must die, so just leave, my good woman, and don’t disturb my thoughts or my vodka! A young man comes to you for advice: what should he do, how should he live? Most people would think before responding, but your answer is always ready: Strive to understand life and true goodness! And what is this fanciful true goodness? No answer! We’re trapped behind iron bars, we rot and suffer, but this, in fact, is reasonable and beautiful because there’s no real difference between this ward and a cozy warm study! What a convenient philosophy; your conscience is clear, and you think you're wise. No, sir, this isn't philosophy, or broad-mindedness; it's laziness, trickery, sleepy nonsense... Yes," Iván Dmítritch reiterated angrily. "You look down on suffering, but pinch your finger in the door, and you’ll scream for your life!"
"But suppose I do not howl," said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling indulgently.
"But what if I don't howl?" said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling kindly.
"What! Well, if you had a stroke of paralysis, or if some impudent fellow, taking advantage of his position in the world, insulted you' publicly, and you had no redress—then you would know what it meant to tell others to understand life and aspire to real good."
"What! Well, if you had a stroke of paralysis, or if some disrespectful guy, taking advantage of his status, publicly insulted you and you had no way to fight back—then you would understand what it means to tell others to grasp life and aim for true goodness."
"This is original," said Andréi Yéfimitch, beaming with satisfaction and rubbing his hands. "I am delighted with your love of generalisation; and the character which you have just drawn is simply brilliant. I confess that conversation with you gives me great pleasure. Rut now, as I have heard you out, will you listen to me...."
"This is original," said Andréi Yéfimitch, smiling with satisfaction and rubbing his hands. "I'm really impressed with your ability to generalize; the character you've just portrayed is absolutely brilliant. I admit that talking with you brings me a lot of joy. But now that I've listened to you, will you hear me out...."
XI
This conversation, which lasted for an hour longer, apparently made a great impression on Andréi Yéfimitch. He took to visiting the ward every day. He went there in the morning, and again after dinner, and often darkness found him in conversation with Iván Dmítritch. At first Iván Dmítritch was shy with him, suspected him of some evil intention, and openly expressed his suspicions. But at last he got used to him; and his rude bearing softened into indulgent irony.
This conversation, which lasted for another hour, clearly left a big impression on Andréi Yéfimitch. He started visiting the ward every day. He went there in the morning, and again after dinner, and often found himself talking with Iván Dmítritch late into the night. At first, Iván Dmítritch was shy around him, suspecting him of having some hidden agenda, and he openly shared his doubts. But eventually, he got used to him, and his rude demeanor softened into a more indulgent irony.
A report soon spread through the hospital that Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch paid daily visits to Ward No. 6. Neither the feldscher, nor Nikita, nor the nurses could understand his object; why he spent whole hours in the ward, what he was talking about, or why he did not write prescriptions. His conduct appeared strange to everyone. Mikhail Averyanitch sometimes failed to find him at home, and Dáryushka was very alarmed, for the doctor no longer drank his beer at the usual hour, and sometimes even came home late for dinner.
A report quickly spread throughout the hospital that Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch made daily visits to Ward No. 6. Neither the feldscher, Nikita, nor the nurses could figure out his purpose; why he spent hours in the ward, what he was talking about, or why he didn’t write prescriptions. His behavior seemed odd to everyone. Mikhail Averyanitch sometimes couldn’t find him at home, and Dáryushka was quite worried because the doctor no longer drank his beer at the usual time and sometimes even came home late for dinner.
One day—it was at the end of June—Doctor Khobótoff went to Andréi Yéfimitch's house to sec him on a business matter. Not finding him at home, he looked for him in the yard, where he was told that the old doctor was in the asylum. Khobótoff entered the hall of the ward, and standing there listened to the following conversation:
One day—it was at the end of June—Doctor Khobótoff went to Andréi Yéfimitch's house to see him about a business matter. Not finding him at home, he searched the yard, where he was told that the old doctor was at the asylum. Khobótoff entered the ward's hall and stood there listening to the following conversation:
"We will never agree, and you will never succeed in converting me to your faith," said Iván Dmítritch irritably. "You are altogether ignorant of realities, you have never suffered, but only, like a leech, fed on the sufferings of others. But I have suffered without cease from the day of my birth until now. Therefore I tell you frankly I consider myself much higher than you, and more competent in all respects. It is not for you to teach me."
"We will never see eye to eye, and you’ll never manage to change my beliefs," Iván Dmítritch said, annoyed. "You have no understanding of reality; you’ve never experienced pain, only living off the hardships of others like a parasite. I've been in pain since the moment I was born. So, I’ll be honest: I see myself as much better than you, and more capable in every way. It’s not your place to teach me."
"I certainly have no wish to convert you to my faith," said Andréi Yéfimitch softly, and evidently with regret that he was misunderstood. "That is not the question, my friend. Suffering and joy are transitory—leave them, God be with them! The essence of the matter is that you and I recognise in one another men of thought, and this makes us solid however different our views. If you knew, my friend, how I am weary of the general idiocy around me, the lack of talent, the dullness—if you knew the joy with which I speak to you! You are a clever man, and it is a pleasure to be with you."
"I definitely don't want to convert you to my beliefs," Andréi Yéfimitch said gently, clearly regretting that he was misunderstood. "That's not the point, my friend. Pain and happiness are temporary—let them be, God bless them! The key issue is that you and I see each other as thinkers, and that brings us together despite our differing opinions. If only you knew how tired I am of the general nonsense around me, the lack of talent, the dullness—if only you knew the joy I feel when I talk to you! You are an intelligent man, and it's a pleasure to be with you."
Khobótoff opened the door and looked into the room. Iván Dmítritch with a nightcap on his head and Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch sat side by side on the bed. The lunatic shuddered, made strange faces, and convulsively clutched his dressing-gown; and the doctor sat motionless, inclining his head, and his face was red and helpless and sad. Khobótoff shrugged his shoulders, laughed, and looked at Nikita. Nikita also shrugged his shoulders.
Khobótoff opened the door and peered into the room. Iván Dmítritch, wearing a nightcap, and Doctor Andréi Yéfimitch sat next to each other on the bed. The lunatic shivered, made weird faces, and tightly held onto his dressing gown; meanwhile, the doctor sat still, tilting his head, his face red, helpless, and sad. Khobótoff shrugged, laughed, and glanced at Nikita. Nikita shrugged too.
Next day Khobótoff again came to the wing, this time together with the feldscher. They stood in the hall and listened:
Next day, Khobótoff came back to the wing, this time with the feldscher. They stood in the hall and listened:
"Our grandfather, it seems, is quite gone," said Khobótoff going out of the wing.
"Our grandfather, it looks like, is really gone," said Khobótoff as he left the wing.
"Lord, have mercy upon us—sinners!" sighed the pompous Sergéi Sergéyitch, going round the pools in order to keep his shiny boots clear of the mud. "I confess, my dear Yevgéniï Feódoritch, I have long expected this."
"Lord, have mercy on us—sinners!" sighed the smug Sergéi Sergéyitch, stepping around the puddles to keep his shiny boots clean. "I confess, my dear Yevgéniï Feódoritch, I’ve been expecting this for a long time."
XII
After this incident, Andréi Yéfimitch began to notice that he was surrounded by a strange atmosphere of mystery.... The servants, the nurses, and the patients whom he met looked questioningly at one another, and whispered among themselves. When he met little Masha, the superintendent's daughter, in the hospital garden, and smilingly went over to her, as usual, to stroke her hair, for some inexplicable reason she ran away. When the postmaster, Mikhail Averyanitch, sat listening to him he no longer said: "Entirely true!" but got red in the face and stammered, "Yes, yes ... yes ..." and sometimes, looking at his friend thoughtfully and sorrowfully, advised him to give up vodka and beer. But when doing this, as became a man of delicacy, he did not speak openly, but dropped gentle hints, telling stories, now of a certain battalion commander, an excellent man, now of the regimental chaplain, a first-rate little fellow, who drank a good deal and was taken ill, yet having given up drink got quite well. Twice or thrice Andréi Yéfimitch was visited by his colleague Khobótoff, who also asked him to give up spirits, and, without giving him any reason, advised him to try bromide of potassium.
After this incident, Andréi Yéfimitch started to feel an unusual sense of mystery around him.... The servants, nurses, and patients he encountered looked at each other questioningly and whispered among themselves. When he saw little Masha, the superintendent's daughter, in the hospital garden, and approached her with a smile to stroke her hair, for some unknown reason, she ran away. When the postmaster, Mikhail Averyanitch, listened to him, he no longer said, "Absolutely true!" but turned red and stammered, "Yeah, yeah ... yeah ..." and sometimes, while looking at his friend thoughtfully and sadly, suggested he should stop drinking vodka and beer. Yet, being a delicate man, he didn't speak directly about it but instead hinted gently, sharing stories—sometimes of a certain battalion commander, a great guy, and other times about the regimental chaplain, a top-notch fellow, who drank quite a bit but got sick and, after quitting alcohol, recovered completely. A couple of times, Andréi Yéfimitch was visited by his colleague Khobótoff, who also urged him to stop drinking and, without giving any reason, recommended he try potassium bromide.
In August Andréi Yéfimitch received a letter from the Mayor asking him to come and see him on very important business. On arriving at the Town Hall at the appointed time he found awaiting him the head of the recruiting department, the superintendent of the district school, a member of the Town Council, Khobótoff, and a stout, fair-haired man, who was introduced as a doctor. This doctor, who bore an unpronounceable Polish name, lived on a stud-farm some thirty versts away, and was passing through the town on his way home.
In August, Andréi Yéfimitch got a letter from the Mayor asking him to come in for some important business. When he arrived at the Town Hall at the scheduled time, he found the head of the recruiting department, the district school superintendent, a member of the Town Council named Khobótoff, and a stout, fair-haired man introduced as a doctor. This doctor, who had an unpronounceable Polish name, lived on a stud farm about thirty versts away and was just passing through town on his way home.
"Here is a communication about your department," said the Town Councillor, turning to Andréi Yéfimitch. "You see, Yevgéniï Feódoritch says that there is no room for the dispensing room in the main building, and that it must be transferred to one of the wings. That, of course, is easy, it can be transferred any day, but the chief thing is that the wing is in want of repair."
"Here's a message about your department," said the Town Councillor, turning to Andréi Yéfimitch. "You see, Yevgéniï Feódoritch says there isn’t enough space for the dispensing room in the main building, and it needs to be moved to one of the wings. That’s easy enough; it can be moved any day, but the main issue is that the wing needs repairs."
"Yes, we can hardly get on without that," answered Andréi Yéfimitch after a moment's thought. "But if the corner wing is to be fitted up as a dispensary you will have to spend at least five hundred roubles on it. It is unproductive expenditure."
"Yeah, we can barely manage without that," Andréi Yéfimitch replied after thinking for a moment. "But if you're going to set up the corner wing as a clinic, you'll need to spend at least five hundred roubles on it. That's just money down the drain."
For a few minutes all were silent.
For a few minutes, everyone was quiet.
"I had the honour to announce to you, ten years ago," continued Andréi Yéfimitch in a soft voice, "that this hospital, under present conditions, is a luxury altogether beyond the means of the town. It was built in the forties, when the means for its support: were greater. The town wastes too much money on unnecessary buildings and sinecure offices. I think that with the money we spend we could keep up two model hospitals; that is, of course, with a different order of things."
"I had the honor of announcing to you ten years ago," Andréi Yéfimitch continued in a gentle voice, "that this hospital, in the current situation, is a luxury that the town simply can't afford. It was built in the forties when funding for its upkeep was more plentiful. The town spends too much on unnecessary buildings and pointless offices. I believe that with the money we waste, we could maintain two top-notch hospitals; that is, of course, if circumstances were different."
"Well, then, let us reform the present order," said the Town Councillor.
"Alright, let's change the current system," said the Town Councillor.
"I have already had the honour to advise you to transfer the medical department to the Zemstvo."
"I have already had the honor of suggesting that you move the medical department to the Zemstvo."
"Yes, and hand over to the Zemstvo funds which it will pocket," laughed the fair-haired doctor.
"Yeah, and let the Zemstvo funds take it all," laughed the blonde doctor.
"That is just what happens," said the Town Councillor, laughing also.
"That’s exactly what happens," said the Town Councillor, laughing too.
Andréi Yéfimitch looked feebly at the fair-haired doctor, and said:
Andréi Yéfimitch looked weakly at the fair-haired doctor and said:
"We must be just in our judgments."
"We need to be fair in our judgments."
Again all were silent. Tea was brought in. The chief of the recruiting department, apparently in a state of confusion, touched Andréi Yéfimitch's hand across the table, and said:
Again, everyone was quiet. Tea was served. The head of the recruiting department, seemingly flustered, touched Andréi Yéfimitch's hand across the table and said:
"You have quite forgotten us, doctor. But then you were always a monk; you don't play cards, and you don't care for women. We bore you, I'm afraid." And all agreed that it was tiresome for any decent man to live in such a town. Neither theatres, nor concerts, and at the last dub-dance about twenty women present and only two men. Young men no longer danced, but crowded round the supper-table or played cards together. And Andréi Yéfimitch, in a slow and soft voice, without looking at those around him, began to lament that the citizens wasted their vital energy, their intellects, and their feelings over cards and scandal, and neither cared nor knew how to pass the time in interesting conversation, in reading, or in taking advantage of the pleasures which intellect alone yields. Intellect is the only interesting and distinguished thing in the world; all the rest is petty and base. Khobótoff listened attentively to his colleague, and suddenly asked:
"You've completely forgotten about us, doctor. But then again, you've always been a bit of a recluse; you don't play cards, and you're not interested in women. I'm afraid we bore you." Everyone agreed that it was frustrating for any decent man to live in such a dull town. There were no theaters or concerts, and at the last dance party, there were about twenty women and only two men. Young men didn’t dance anymore; they clustered around the supper table or played cards together. And Andréi Yéfimitch, speaking slowly and softly without looking at anyone, began to lament how the townspeople wasted their energy, intelligence, and feelings on cards and gossip, and didn’t care to engage in meaningful conversations, reading, or enjoying the pleasures that only intellect can provide. Intellect is the only truly interesting and noble thing in the world; everything else is trivial and lowly. Khobótoff listened intently to his colleague and suddenly asked:
"Andréi Yéfimitch, what is the day of the month?"
"Andréi Yéfimitch, what’s the date today?"
Having received an answer, he and the fair-haired doctor, both in the tone of examiners convinced of their own incapacity, asked Andréi Yéfimitch a number of other questions: what was the day of the week, how many days were there in the year, and was it true that in Ward No. 6 there was a remarkable prophet?
Having received an answer, he and the blond doctor, both speaking like examiners sure of their own inadequacy, asked Andréi Yéfimitch a bunch of other questions: what day of the week it was, how many days are in a year, and if it was true that there was a remarkable prophet in Ward No. 6?
In answer to this last question Andréi Yéfimitch got red in the face, and said:
In response to this last question, Andréi Yéfimitch blushed and said:
"Yes, he is insane.... But he is a most interesting young man."
"Yes, he's crazy... But he's a really interesting young guy."
No other questions were asked.
No other questions were raised.
As Andréi Yéfimitch put on his coat, the chief of the recruiting department put his hand on his shoulder and said, with a sigh:
As Andréi Yéfimitch put on his coat, the head of the recruiting department placed his hand on his shoulder and said, with a sigh:
"For us—old men—it is time to take a rest."
"For us—older men—it’s time to take a break."
As he left the Town Hall, Andréi Yéfimitch understood that he had been before a commission appointed to test his mental sanity. He remembered the questions put to him, reddened, and for the first time in his life felt pity for the medical art.
As he walked out of the Town Hall, Andréi Yéfimitch realized that he had just been evaluated by a committee assigned to assess his mental health. He recalled the questions they had asked him, blushed, and for the first time in his life, felt sorry for the medical profession.
"My God!" he thought. "These men have only just been studying psychiatry and passing examinations! Where does their monstrous ignorance come from? They have no ideas about psychiatry." For the first time in his life he felt insulted and angry.
"My God!" he thought. "These guys have just been studying psychiatry and taking exams! Where does their huge ignorance come from? They know nothing about psychiatry." For the first time in his life, he felt insulted and angry.
Towards evening Mikhail Averyanitch came to see him. Without a word of greeting, the postmaster went up to him, took him by both hands, and said in an agitated voice:
Towards evening, Mikhail Averyanitch came to see him. Without a word of greeting, the postmaster approached him, took him by both hands, and spoke in an anxious tone:
"My dear friend, my dear friend, let me see that you believe in my sincere affection for you. Regard me as your friend!" And preventing Andréi Yéfimitch saying a word, he continued in extreme agitation: "You know that I love you for the culture and nobility of your mind. Listen to me, like a good man! The rules of their profession compel the doctors to hide the truth from you, but I, in soldier style, will tell it to you flatly. You are unwell! Excuse me, old friend, but that is the plain truth, and it has been noticed by everyone around you. Only this moment Doctor Yevgéniï Feódoritch said that for the benefit of your health you needed rest and recreation. It is entirely true! And things fit in admirably. In a few days I will take my leave, and go oft for change of air. Trove to me that you are my friend, and come with me. Come!"
"My dear friend, my dear friend, please believe that I truly care for you. See me as your friend!" And before Andréi Yéfimitch could say anything, he continued in a state of agitation: "You know that I admire you for your culture and the nobility of your mind. Listen to me, like a good person! The rules of their profession force doctors to keep the truth from you, but I, in a straightforward way, will tell you exactly. You are not well! I’m sorry, old friend, but that is the simple truth, and everyone around you has noticed it. Just now, Doctor Yevgéniï Feódoritch said that for your health, you need rest and relaxation. That’s completely true! Everything fits perfectly. In a few days, I will take my leave and go away for some fresh air. Prove to me that you’re my friend, and come with me. Come!"
"I feel very well," said Andréi Yéfimitch, after a moment's thought; "and I cannot go. Allow me to prove my friendship in some other way."
"I feel great," said Andréi Yéfimitch, after a moment of thinking; "and I can't go. Let me show my friendship in another way."
To go away without any good reason, without his books, without Dáryushka, without beer—suddenly to destroy the order of life observed for twenty years—when he first thought of it, the project seemed wild and fantastic. But he remembered the talk in the Town Hall, and the torments which he had suffered on the w ay home; and the idea of leaving for a short time a town where stupid men considered him mad, delighted him.
To leave without a good reason, without his books, without Dáryushka, without beer—suddenly disrupting the routine he had followed for twenty years—when he first thought of it, the idea seemed crazy and unrealistic. But he recalled the conversation at the Town Hall and the anxiety he felt on the way home; the thought of temporarily escaping from a town where foolish people thought he was insane thrilled him.
"But where do you intend to go?" he asked.
"But where are you planning to go?" he asked.
"To Moscow, to Petersburg, to Warsaw.... In Warsaw I spent some of the happiest days of my life. An astonishing city! Come!"
"To Moscow, to Petersburg, to Warsaw... In Warsaw, I had some of the happiest days of my life. What an amazing city! Come!"
XIII
A week after this conversation, Andréi Yéfimitch received a formal proposal to take a rest, that is, to retire from his post, and he received the proposal with indifference. Still a week later, he and Mikhail Averyanitch were sitting in the post tarantass and driving to the railway station. The weather was cool and clear, the sky blue and transparent. The two hundred versts were traversed in two days and two nights. When they stopped at the post-houses and were given dirty glasses for tea, or were delayed over the horses, Mikhail Averyanitch grew purple, shook all over, and roared "Silence! Don't argue!"... And as they sat in the tarantass he talked incessantly of his travels in the Caucasus and in Poland. What adventures he had, what meetings! He spoke in a loud voice, and all the time made such astonished eyes that it might have been thought he was lying. As he told his stories he breathed in the doctor's face and laughed in his ear. All this incommoded the doctor and hindered his thinking and concentrating his mind.
A week after their conversation, Andréi Yéfimitch received an official proposal to take a break, meaning to retire from his position, and he accepted it with indifference. Another week later, he and Mikhail Averyanitch were in the post tarantass heading to the train station. The weather was cool and clear, with a blue and transparent sky. They traveled the two hundred versts over two days and nights. Whenever they stopped at the post-houses and were handed dirty glasses for tea, or when they had delays with the horses, Mikhail Averyanitch would turn purple, shake all over, and bellow, "Silence! Don't argue!"... While they were in the tarantass, he talked nonstop about his travels in the Caucasus and Poland. What adventures he had, what encounters! He spoke loudly and made such wide-eyed expressions that it might have seemed like he was exaggerating. As he recounted his stories, he breathed in the doctor’s face and laughed in his ear. This behavior unsettled the doctor and made it hard for him to think and concentrate.
For reasons of economy they travelled third-class, in a non-smoking carriage. Half of the passengers were clean. Mikhail Averyanitch struck up acquaintance with all, and as he shifted from seat to seat, announced in a loud voice that it was a mistake to travel on these tormenting railways. Nothing but rascals around! What a different thing to ride on horseback; in a single day you cover a hundred versts, and at the end feel wholesome and fresh. Yes, and we had been cursed with famines as the result of the draining of the Pinsky marshes! Everywhere nothing but disorder! Mikhail Averyanitch lost his temper, spoke loudly, and allowed no one else to say a word. His incessant chatter, broken only by loud laughter and expressive gesticulations, bored Andréi Yéfimitch.
For budget reasons, they traveled in third class, in a non-smoking carriage. Half of the passengers were clean. Mikhail Averyanitch made friends with everyone, and as he moved from seat to seat, he loudly proclaimed that it was a mistake to travel on these torturous railways. Just a bunch of troublemakers around! Riding a horse is so much better; in just one day, you can cover a hundred versts and feel healthy and refreshed at the end. And we've been hit by famines because of the draining of the Pinsky marshes! It's total chaos everywhere! Mikhail Averyanitch lost his temper, spoke loudly, and didn't let anyone else get a word in. His nonstop chatter, interrupted only by loud laughter and dramatic gestures, bored Andréi Yéfimitch.
"Which of us is the more mad?" he asked himself. "I who do my best not to disturb my fellow-travellers, or this egoist who thinks he is cleverer and more interesting than anyone else, and gives no one a moment's rest?"
"Which of us is crazier?" he wondered. "Me, trying my best not to bother my fellow travelers, or this self-centered person who believes he's smarter and more interesting than everyone else, and never gives anyone a moment of peace?"
In Moscow, Mikhail Averyanitch donned his military tunic without shoulder-straps, and trousers with red piping. Out of doors he wore an army forage-cap and cloak, and was saluted by the soldiers. To Andréi Yéfimitch he began to seem a man who had lost all the good points of the upper classes and retained only the bad. He loved people to dance attendance on him even when it was quite unnecessary. Matches lay before him on the table and he saw them, yet he roared to the waiter to hand them to him; he marched about in his underclothing before the chambermaid; he addressed the waitresses—even the elderly ones—indiscriminately as "thou," and when he was irritated called them blockheads and fools. This, thought Andréi Yéfimitch, is no doubt gentlemanly, but it is detestable.
In Moscow, Mikhail Averyanitch put on his military tunic without shoulder straps and trousers with red piping. Outside, he wore an army forage cap and cloak, and the soldiers saluted him. To Andréi Yéfimitch, he started to seem like a man who had lost all the good traits of the upper classes and only kept the bad ones. He liked people to cater to him even when it was totally unnecessary. There were matches on the table in front of him, and he could see them, yet he yelled at the waiter to bring them to him; he walked around in his undershirt in front of the chambermaid; he addressed the waitresses—even the older ones—casually as "you," and when he got annoyed, he called them idiots and fools. This, thought Andréi Yéfimitch, is definitely not gentlemanly, but it’s disgusting.
First of all, Mikhail Averyanitch brought his friend to the Iverskaya.[1] He prayed piously, bowed to the ground, shed teal's, and when he had finished, sighed deeply and said:
First of all, Mikhail Averyanitch brought his friend to the Iverskaya.[1] He prayed sincerely, bowed to the ground, shed tears, and when he was done, he sighed deeply and said:
"Even an unbeliever feels himself at peace after he has prayed. Kiss the image, dear!"
"Even a non-believer feels at peace after they have prayed. Kiss the image, dear!"
Andréi Yéfimitch got red in the face and kissed the image; and Mikhail Averyanitch puffed out his lips, shook his head, prayed in a whisper; and again into his eyes came tears. After this they visited the Kremlin and inspected the Tsar-Cannon and the Tsar-Bell, touched them with their fingers, admired the view across the Moscow River, and spent some time in the Temple of the Saviour and afterwards in the Rumiantseff Museum.
Andréi Yéfimitch blushed and kissed the icon; Mikhail Averyanitch pouted, shook his head, and whispered a prayer; and tears filled his eyes again. After that, they went to the Kremlin to check out the Tsar-Cannon and the Tsar-Bell, touched them, admired the view of the Moscow River, and spent time in the Temple of the Savior and then at the Rumiantseff Museum.
They dined at Testoffs.[2] Mikhail Averyanitch stroked his whiskers, gazed long at the menu, and said to the waiter in the tone of a gourmet who feels at home in restaurants:
They had dinner at Testoffs.[2] Mikhail Averyanitch stroked his beard, looked intently at the menu, and said to the waiter in the manner of a food lover who feels comfortable in restaurants:
"Well see what you'll feed us with to-day, angel!"
"Let’s see what you’ll serve us today, angel!"
XIV
The doctor walked and drank and ate and inspected, but his feelings remained unchanged; he was vexed with Mikhail Averyanitch. He longed to get a rest from his companion, to escape from him, but the postmaster considered it his duty not to let him out of his sight, and to see that he tasted every possible form of recreation. For two days Andréi Yéfimitch endured it, but on the third declared that he was unwell, and would remain all day at home. Mikhail Averyanitch said that in that case he also would remain at home. And indeed, he added, a rest was necessary, otherwise they would have no strength left. Andréi Yéfimitch lay on the sofa with his face to the wall, and with clenched teeth listened to his friend, who assured him that France would sooner or later inevitably destroy Germany, that in Moscow there are a great many swindlers, and that you cannot judge of the merits of a horse by its appearance. The doctor's heart throbbed, his ears hummed, but from motives of delicacy he could not ask his friend to leave him alone or be silent. But happily Mikhail Averyanitch grew tired of sitting in the room, and after dinner went for a walk.
The doctor walked around, drinking, eating, and checking things out, but his feelings stayed the same; he was annoyed with Mikhail Averyanitch. He wished he could take a break from his company, to get away from him, but the postmaster felt it was his responsibility to keep an eye on him and ensure he experienced every possible type of leisure. For two days, Andréi Yéfimitch put up with it, but on the third day, he claimed he wasn't feeling well and planned to stay home all day. Mikhail Averyanitch said that in that case, he would also stay home. And in fact, he added, they both needed a break; otherwise, they wouldn’t have any energy left. Andréi Yéfimitch lay on the sofa with his back to the room, and with gritted teeth, listened to his friend, who insisted that France would eventually defeat Germany, that there were a lot of con artists in Moscow, and that you can't judge a horse's worth by its looks. The doctor's heart raced, his ears buzzed, but out of politeness, he couldn’t ask his friend to leave him alone or to be quiet. Luckily, Mikhail Averyanitch eventually got tired of sitting in the room and went for a walk after lunch.
Left alone, Andréi Yéfimitch surrendered himself to the feeling of rest. How delightful it was to lie motionless on the sofa and know that he was alone in the room! Without solitude true happiness was impossible. The fallen angel was faithless to God probably only because he longed for solitude, which angels knew not. Andréi Yéfimitch wished to reflect upon what he had seen and heard in the last few days. But he could not drive Mikhail Averyanitch out of his mind.
Left alone, Andréi Yéfimitch gave in to the feeling of rest. How wonderful it was to lie still on the sofa and know that he was the only one in the room! Without solitude, true happiness was impossible. The fallen angel likely betrayed God simply because he craved solitude, something angels were unfamiliar with. Andréi Yéfimitch wanted to think about what he had seen and heard in the last few days. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Mikhail Averyanitch.
"But then he obtained leave and came with me purely out of friendship and generosity," he thought with vexation. "Yet there is nothing more detestable than his maternal care. He is good and generous and a gay companion—but tiresome! Intolerably tiresome! He is one of those men who say only clever things, yet you cannot help feeling that they are stupid at bottom."
"But then he got permission and came with me just out of friendship and kindness," he thought with irritation. "Yet nothing is more annoying than his motherly concern. He is kind and generous and a fun companion—but so tedious! Absolutely tedious! He's one of those guys who only say smart things, yet you can't shake the feeling that they're actually pretty dumb underneath."
Next day Andréi Yéfimitch said he was still ill, and remained in his loom. He lay with his face to the back of the sofa, was bored when he was listening to conversation, and happy only when he was left alone. He was angry with himself for leaving home, he was angry with Mikhail Averyanitch, who every day became more garrulous and free-making; to concentrate his thoughts on a serious, elevated plane he failed utterly.
Next day, Andréi Yéfimitch said he was still sick and stayed in his room. He lay with his face against the back of the sofa, felt bored when he listened to conversations, and was only happy when he was left alone. He was frustrated with himself for leaving home, and he was annoyed with Mikhail Averyanitch, who became more talkative and loose-lipped every day; he completely failed to focus his thoughts on anything serious or important.
"I am now being tested by the realities of which Iván Dmítritch spoke," he thought, angered at his own pettiness. "But this is nothing.... I will go home, and things will be as before."
"I’m now facing the realities that Iván Dmítritch talked about," he thought, frustrated with his own small-mindedness. "But this is nothing... I’ll go home, and everything will go back to how it was."
In St. Petersburg the incidents of Moscow were repeated; whole days he never left his room, but lay on the sofa, and rose only when he wanted to drink beer.
In St. Petersburg, the events in Moscow played out again; for entire days he stayed in his room, lying on the sofa, and only got up when he wanted to grab a beer.
All the time, Mikhail Averyanitch was in a great hurry to get to Warsaw.
All the time, Mikhail Averyanitch was in a big hurry to get to Warsaw.
"My dear friend, why must I go there?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch imploringly. "Go yourself, and let me go home. I beg you!"
"My dear friend, why do I have to go there?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch urgently. "You go, and let me go home. Please!"
"Not for a million!" protested Mikhail Averyanitch. "It is an astonishing city! In Warsaw I spent the happiest days of my life."
"Not for a million!" protested Mikhail Averyanitch. "It's an amazing city! I spent the happiest days of my life in Warsaw."
Andréi Yéfimitch had not the character to persist, and with a twinge of pain accompanied his friend to Warsaw. When he got there he stayed all day in the hotel, lay on the sofa, and was angry with himself, and with the waiters who stubbornly refused to understand Russian. Mikhail Averyanitch, healthy, gay, and active as ever, drove from morning to night about the city and sought out his old acquaintances. Several nights he stayed out altogether. After one of these nights, spent it is uncertain where, he returned early in the morning, dishevelled and excited. For a long time he walked up and down the room, and at last stopped and exclaimed:
Andréi Yéfimitch didn't have the strength to stick it out, and with a sense of pain, he accompanied his friend to Warsaw. Once there, he spent the whole day in the hotel, lying on the sofa, feeling angry at himself and at the waiters who stubbornly ignored his attempts to speak Russian. Mikhail Averyanitch, healthy, lively, and as active as ever, drove around the city from morning till night, reconnecting with his old friends. Several nights, he didn't come back at all. After one of those nights, spent who knows where, he returned early in the morning, looking disheveled and excited. He paced around the room for a long time, and finally stopped, exclaiming:
"Honour before everything!"
"Honor above all else!"
Again he walked up and down the room, seized his head in his hands, and declaimed tragically:
Again he paced the room, grabbed his head with his hands, and exclaimed dramatically:
"Yes! Honour before everything! Cursed be the hour when it entered my head to come near this Babylon!... My dear friend," he turned to Andréi Yéfimitch, "I have lost heavily at cards. Lend me five hundred roubles!"
"Yes! Honor above all else! Cursed be the moment I thought it was a good idea to come near this Babylon!... My dear friend," he turned to Andréi Yéfimitch, "I've lost a lot at cards. Can you lend me five hundred rubles?"
Andréi Yéfimitch counted the money, and gave it silently to his friend. Mikhail Averyanitch, purple from shame and indignation, cursed incoherently and needlessly, put on his cap, and went out. After two hours' absence he returned, threw himself into an armchair, sighed loudly, and said:
Andréi Yéfimitch counted the money and handed it over to his friend without saying a word. Mikhail Averyanitch, red with embarrassment and anger, muttered curses that made no sense, put on his cap, and left. After two hours, he came back, flopped into an armchair, sighed heavily, and said:
"Honour is saved! Let us go away, my friend! Not another minute will I rest in this accursed city! They are all scoundrels!... Austrian spies!"
"Honor is saved! Let’s get out of here, my friend! I won’t spend another minute in this cursed city! They’re all crooks!... Austrian spies!"
When the travellers returned it was the beginning of November, and the streets were covered with snow. Doctor Khobótoff occupied Andréi Yéfimitch's position at the hospital, but lived at his own rooms, waiting until Andréi Yéfimitch returned and gave up the official quarters. The ugly woman whom he called his cook already lived in one of the wings.
When the travelers returned, it was early November, and the streets were blanketed with snow. Doctor Khobótoff was filling in for Andréi Yéfimitch at the hospital, but he stayed in his own place, waiting for Andréi Yéfimitch to come back and vacate the official quarters. The unattractive woman he referred to as his cook was already living in one of the wings.
Fresh scandals in connection with the hospital were being circulated in the town. It was said that the ugly woman had quarrelled with the superintendent, who had gone down before her on his knees and begged forgiveness. On the day of his return Andréi Yéfimitch had to look for new lodgings.
Fresh scandals about the hospital were going around town. People were saying that the unattractive woman had argued with the superintendent, who had knelt down in front of her and begged for forgiveness. On the day he returned, Andréi Yéfimitch had to find a new place to live.
"My friend," began the postmaster timidly, "forgive the indelicate question, what money have you got?"
"My friend," the postmaster started hesitantly, "sorry to ask such a blunt question, but how much money do you have?"
Andréi Yéfimitch silently counted his money, and said:
Andréi Yéfimitch quietly counted his cash and said:
"Eighty-six roubles."
"86 roubles."
"You don't understand me," said Mikhail Averyanitch in confusion. "I ask what means have you—generally?"
"You don't get me," Mikhail Averyanitch said, confused. "I'm asking what resources you have—generally?"
"I have told you already—eighty-six roubles.... Beyond that I have nothing."
"I've already told you—eighty-six roubles.... Besides that, I have nothing."
Mikhail Averyanitch was well aware that the doctor was an honest and straightforward man. But he believed that he had at least twenty thousand roubles in capital. Now learning that his friend was a beggar and had nothing to live on, he began to cry, and embraced him.
Mikhail Averyanitch knew that the doctor was honest and straightforward. But he thought he had at least twenty thousand roubles in savings. Now, finding out that his friend was a beggar with nothing to rely on, he started crying and hugged him.
XV
Andréi Yéfimitch migrated to the three-windowed house of Madame Byelof, a woman belonging to the petty trading class. In this house were only three rooms and a kitchen. Of these rooms two, with windows opening on the street, were occupied by the doctor, while in the third and in the kitchen lived Dáryushka, the landlady, and three children. Occasionally the number was added to by a drunken workman, Madame Byeloff's lover, who made scenes at night and terrified Dáryushka and the children. When he came, sat in the kitchen, and demanded vodka, the others were crowded out, and the doctor in compassion took the crying children to his own room, and put them to sleep on the floor. This always gave him great satisfaction.
Andréi Yéfimitch moved into the three-windowed house of Madame Byelof, a woman from the lower trading class. The house had only three rooms and a kitchen. The doctor occupied two of the rooms, which had windows facing the street, while the third room and the kitchen were home to Dáryushka, the landlady, and her three children. Sometimes, the household grew to include a drunken worker, Madame Byeloff's boyfriend, who would cause scenes at night, scaring Dáryushka and the kids. When he showed up, took a seat in the kitchen, and demanded vodka, the others had to leave. Out of compassion, the doctor would take the crying children into his room and put them to sleep on the floor. This always brought him great satisfaction.
As before, he rose at eight o'clock, took his breakfast, and sat down and read his old books and reviews. For new books he had no money. But whether it was because the books were old or because the surroundings were changed, reading no longer interested him, and even tired him. So to pass the time he compiled a detailed catalogue of his books, and pasted labels on the backs; and this mechanical work seemed to him much more interesting than reading. The more monotonous and trifling the occupation the more it calmed his mind, he thought of nothing, and time passed quickly. Even to sit in the kitchen and peel potatoes with Dáryushka or to pick the dirt out of buckwheat meal interested him. On Saturdays and Sundays he went to church. Standing at the wall, he blinked his eyes, listened to the singing, and thought of his father, his mother, the university, religion; he felt calm and melancholy, and when leaving the church, regretted that the service had not lasted longer.
As before, he got up at eight o'clock, had his breakfast, and sat down to read his old books and reviews. He didn’t have any money for new books. But whether it was because the books were old or because everything around him had changed, reading no longer held his interest and even made him tired. So to pass the time, he created a detailed catalog of his books and stuck labels on the backs; this mechanical task felt much more engaging to him than reading. He found that the more dull and trivial the activity, the more it calmed his mind; he thought about nothing, and time flew by. Even sitting in the kitchen peeling potatoes with Dáryushka or picking dirt out of buckwheat interested him. On Saturdays and Sundays, he went to church. Standing by the wall, he blinked his eyes, listened to the singing, and thought about his dad, his mom, the university, and religion; he felt calm and melancholic, and when he left the church, he wished the service had lasted longer.
Twice he visited the hospital for the purpose of seeing Iván Dmítritch. But on both occasions Gromof was unusually angry and excited; he asked to be left in peace, declared that he had long ago wearied of empty chatter, and that he would regard solitary confinement as a deliverance from these accursed, base people. Was it possible they would refuse him that? When Andréi Yéfimitch took leave of him and wished him good night, he snapped and said:
Twice he went to the hospital to see Iván Dmítritch. But both times Gromof was unusually angry and agitated; he asked to be left alone, said he was tired of meaningless talk, and that he would see solitary confinement as a relief from these cursed, lowly people. Could they really deny him that? When Andréi Yéfimitch said goodbye and wished him a good night, he snapped and said:
"Take yourself to the devil!"
"Go to hell!"
And Andréi Yéfimitch felt undecided as to whether he should go a third time or not. But he wished to go.
Andréi Yéfimitch felt unsure about whether he should go a third time or not. But he wanted to go.
In the old times Andréi Yéfimitch had been in the habit of spending the time after dinner in walking about his rooms and thinking. But now from dinner to tea-time he lay on the sofa with his face to the wall and surrendered himself to trivial thoughts, which he found himself unable to conquer. He considered himself injured by the fact that after twenty years' service he had been given neither a pension nor a grant. True he had not done his duties honestly, but then were not pensions given to all old servants indiscriminately, without regard to their honesty or otherwise? Modern ideas did not regard rank, orders, and pensions as the reward of moral perfection or capacity, and why must he alone be the exception? He was absolutely penniless. He was ashamed to pass the shop where he dealt or to meet the proprietor. For beer alone he was in debt thirty-two roubles. He was in debt also to his landlady. Dáryushka secretly sold old clothing and books, and lied to the landlady, declaring that her master was about to come in to a lot of money.
In the past, Andréi Yéfimitch used to spend his evenings walking around his rooms and thinking. But now, from dinner until tea time, he just lay on the sofa with his face to the wall, overwhelmed by trivial thoughts he couldn't shake off. He felt wronged because, after twenty years of service, he hadn't received a pension or any financial assistance. Sure, he hadn't been very honest in his duties, but weren't pensions usually given to all old employees regardless of their honesty? Modern thinking didn't view rank, awards, or pensions as a reward for moral integrity or ability, so why should he be the only one left out? He was completely broke. He was embarrassed to walk past the shop he frequented or to run into the owner. He owed thirty-two roubles just for beer. He also had debts to his landlady. Dáryushka was secretly selling old clothes and books and was lying to the landlady, claiming that her master was about to come into a lot of money.
Andréi Yéfimitch was angry with himself for having wasted on his journey the thousand roubles which he had saved. What could he not do with a thousand roubles now? He was annoyed, also, because others would not leave him alone. Khobótoff considered it his duty to pay periodical visits to his sick colleague; and everything about him was repulsive to Andréi Yéfimitch—his sated face, his condescending bad manners, the word "colleague," and the high boots. But the greatest annoyance of all was that he considered it his duty to cure Andréi Yéfimitch, and even imagined he was curing him. On every occasion he brought a phial of bromide of potassium and a rhubarb pill.
Andréi Yéfimitch was mad at himself for wasting the thousand roubles he had saved on his trip. What couldn't he do with a thousand roubles now? He was also irritated because others wouldn't leave him alone. Khobótoff felt it was his responsibility to make regular visits to his sick colleague, and everything about him disgusted Andréi Yéfimitch—his smug face, his patronizing attitude, the word "colleague," and the high boots. But the most frustrating part was that Khobótoff believed it was his duty to help Andréi Yéfimitch get better and even thought he was succeeding. Every time he showed up, he brought a bottle of potassium bromide and a rhubarb pill.
Mikhail Averyanitch also considered it his duty to visit his sick friend and amuse him. He entered the room with affected freeness, laughed unnaturally, and assured Andréi Yéfimitch that to-day he looked splendid, and that, glory be to God! he was getting all right. From this alone it might be concluded that he regarded the case as hopeless. He had not yet paid off the Warsaw debt, and being ashamed of himself and constrained, he laughed all the louder, and told ridiculous anecdotes. His stories now seemed endless, and were a source of torment both to Andréi Yéfimitch and to himself.
Mikhail Averyanitch felt it was his responsibility to visit his sick friend and lift his spirits. He walked into the room with an exaggerated casualness, laughed awkwardly, and told Andréi Yéfimitch that today he looked great, and that, thank God, he was on the mend. From this alone, it could be inferred that he thought the situation was hopeless. He still hadn't settled the debt from Warsaw, and feeling ashamed and tense, he laughed even louder and shared silly anecdotes. His stories now seemed never-ending and were a source of frustration for both Andréi Yéfimitch and himself.
When the postmaster was present, Andréi Yéfimitch usually lay on the sofa, his face turned to the wall, with clenched teeth, listening. It seemed to him that a crust was forming about his heart, and after; every visit he felt the crust becoming thicker, and; threatening to extend to his throat. To exorcise these trivial afflictions he reflected that he, and Khobótoff, and Mikhail Averyanitch would, sooner or later, perish, leaving behind themselves not a trace. When a million years had passed by, a spirit flying through space would see only a frozen globe and naked stones. All—culture and morals—everything would pass away; even the burdock would not grow. Why, then, should he trouble himself with feelings of shame on account of a shopkeeper, of insignificant Khobótoff, of the terrible friendship of Mikhail Averyanitch. It was all folly and vanity.
When the postmaster was around, Andréi Yéfimitch usually lay on the sofa, his face turned to the wall, with his teeth clenched, listening. He felt like a crust was forming around his heart, and after every visit, the crust seemed to get thicker, threatening to choke him. To banish these trivial worries, he thought about how he, Khobótoff, and Mikhail Averyanitch would eventually die, leaving no trace behind. When a million years passed, a spirit drifting through space would only see a frozen planet and bare rocks. Everything—culture and morals—would vanish; even burdock wouldn’t grow. So why should he bother feeling ashamed because of a shopkeeper, insignificant Khobótoff, or the dreadful friendship of Mikhail Averyanitch? It was all just foolishness and vanity.
But such reasoning did not console him. He had hardly succeeded in painting a vivid picture of the frozen globe after a million yearn of decay, when from behind a naked rock appeared Khobótoff in his top boots, and beside him stood Mikhail Averyanitch, with an affected laugh, and a shamefaced whisper on his lips: "And the Warsaw debt, old man, I will repay in a few days ... without fail!"
But that kind of thinking didn’t help him feel better. He had barely managed to create a clear image of the frozen Earth after a million years of decay when Khobótoff appeared from behind a bare rock in his shiny boots. Next to him stood Mikhail Averyanitch, laughing in a way that wasn’t genuine, with a sheepish whisper on his lips: "And the Warsaw debt, my friend, I’ll take care of it in a few days ... for sure!"
XVI
Mikhail Averyanitch arrived after dinner one evening when Andréi Yéfimitch was lying on the sofa. At the same time came Khobótoff with his bromide of potassium. Andréi Yéfimitch rose slowly, sat down again, and supported himself by resting his hands upon the sofa edge.
Mikhail Averyanitch showed up after dinner one evening while Andréi Yéfimitch was lying on the sofa. At the same time, Khobótoff arrived with his potassium bromide. Andréi Yéfimitch slowly got up, sat back down, and propped himself up by resting his hands on the edge of the sofa.
"To-day, my dear," began Mikhail Averyanitch, "to-day your complexion is much healthier than yesterday. You are a hero! I swear to God, a hero!"
"Today, my dear," Mikhail Averyanitch started, "today your complexion looks much healthier than it did yesterday. You’re a hero! I swear, you’re a hero!"
"It's time, indeed it's time for you to recover, colleague," said Khobótoff, yawning. "You must be tired of the delay yourself."
"It's definitely time for you to get better, my friend," said Khobótoff, yawning. "You must be getting tired of the wait too."
"Never mind, we'll soon be all right," said Mikhail Averyanitch gaily. "Why, we'll live for another hundred years! Eh?"
"Don't worry, we'll be fine soon," said Mikhail Averyanitch cheerfully. "We'll live for another hundred years! Right?"
"Perhaps not a hundred, but a safe twenty," said Khobótoff consolingly. "Don't worry, colleague, don't worry!"
"Maybe not a hundred, but definitely a safe twenty," Khobótoff said reassuringly. "Don't worry, partner, don't worry!"
"We'll let them see!" laughed Mikhail Averyanitch, slapping his friend on the knee. "We'll show how the trick is done! Next summer, with God's will, we'll fly away to the Caucasus, and gallop all over the country—trot, trot, trot! And when we come back from the Caucasus we'll dance at your wedding!"
"We'll let them see!" laughed Mikhail Averyanitch, slapping his friend on the knee. "We'll show them how it's done! Next summer, if all goes well, we'll escape to the Caucasus and ride all over the place—trot, trot, trot! And when we get back from the Caucasus, we'll dance at your wedding!"
Mikhail Averyanitch winked slyly. "We'll marry you, my friend, we'll find the bride!"
Mikhail Averyanitch winked mischievously. "We'll marry you, my friend, we'll find you a bride!"
Andréi Yéfimitch felt that the crust had risen to his throat. His heart beat painfully.
Andréi Yéfimitch felt like the crust was choking him. His heart was pounding painfully.
"This is absurd," he said, rising suddenly and going over to the window. "Is it possible you don't understand that you are talking nonsense?"
"This is ridiculous," he said, standing up abruptly and walking over to the window. "Do you really not get that you're speaking nonsense?"
He wished to speak to his visitors softly and politely, but could not restrain himself, and, against his own will, clenched his fists, and raised them threateningly above his head.
He wanted to talk to his visitors gently and respectfully, but he couldn't control himself and, despite his own intentions, clenched his fists and raised them menacingly above his head.
"Leave me!" he cried, in a voice which was not his own. His face was purple and he trembled all over. "Begone! Both of you! Go!"
"Leave me!" he yelled, in a voice that didn't sound like his own. His face was purple and he shook all over. "Get out! Both of you! Go!"
Mikhail Averyanitch and Khobótoff rose, and looked at him, at first in astonishment, then in tenor. "Begone both of you!" continued Andréi Yéfimitch. "Stupid idiots! Fools! I want neither your friendship nor your medicines, idiots! This is base, it is abominable!"
Mikhail Averyanitch and Khobótoff stood up and stared at him, first in shock, then in fear. "Get out, both of you!" Andréi Yéfimitch shouted. "You’re both stupid idiots! Fools! I want neither your friendship nor your medicines, idiots! This is disgraceful, it’s disgusting!"
Khobótoff and the postmaster exchanged confused glances, staggered to the door, and went into the hall. Andréi Yéfimitch seized the phial of bromide of potassium, and flung it after them, breaking it upon the threshold.
Khobótoff and the postmaster shared puzzled looks, stumbled to the door, and stepped into the hall. Andréi Yéfimitch grabbed the bottle of potassium bromide and threw it after them, shattering it on the threshold.
"Take yourselves to the devil!" he cried, running after them into the hall. "To the devil!"
"Go to hell!" he shouted, chasing after them into the hall. "To hell!"
After his visitors had gone he lay on the sofa, trembling as if in fever, and repeated—
After his visitors left, he lay on the couch, shaking as if he had a fever, and repeated—
"Stupid idiots! Dull fools!"
"Stupid idiots! Dumb fools!"
When he calmed down, the first thought that entered his head was that poor Mikhail Averyanitch must now be terribly ashamed and wretched, and that the scene that had passed was something very terrible. Nothing of the kind had ever happened before. What had become of his intellect and tact? Where were now his understanding of the world and his philosophical indifference?
When he finally settled down, the first thing that crossed his mind was that poor Mikhail Averyanitch must be feeling incredibly ashamed and miserable, and that the events that had just unfolded were truly awful. Nothing like this had ever happened before. What happened to his intellect and sense? Where did his understanding of the world and his philosophical indifference go?
All night the doctor was kept awake by feelings of shame and vexation. At nine o'clock next morning, he went to the post office and apologised to the postmaster.
All night, the doctor couldn’t sleep because he was feeling ashamed and frustrated. At nine o'clock the next morning, he went to the post office and apologized to the postmaster.
"Do not refer to what happened!" said the postmaster, with a sigh. Touched by Andréi Yéfimitch's conduct, he pressed his hands warmly. "No man should trouble over such trifles.... Lubiakin!" he roared so loudly that the clerks and visitors trembled. "Bring a chair!... And you just wait!" he cried to a peasant woman, who held a registered letter through the grating. "Don't you see that I am engaged? ... We will forget all that," he continued tenderly, turning to Andréi Yéfimitch. "Sit down, my old friend!"
"Don't mention what happened!" said the postmaster with a sigh. Moved by Andréi Yéfimitch's behavior, he clasped his hands warmly. "No one should worry about such small things.... Lubiakin!" he yelled so loudly that the clerks and visitors flinched. "Get a chair!... And you just wait!" he shouted at a peasant woman holding a registered letter through the grating. "Can't you see I'm busy? ... We'll forget all that," he continued softly, turning to Andréi Yéfimitch. "Have a seat, my old friend!"
He stroked his eyebrows silently for a minute, and continued:
He rubbed his eyebrows silently for a minute and then continued:
"It never entered my head to take offence. Illness is a very strange thing, I understand that. Yesterday your fit frightened both the doctor and myself, and we talked of you for a long time. My dear friend, why will you not pay more attention to your complaint? Do you think you can go on living in this way? Forgive the plain speaking of a friend." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "But you live among hopeless surroundings—closeness, uncleanliness, no one to look after you, nothing to take for your ailment.... My dear friend, both I and the doctor implore you with all our hearts—listen to our advice—go into the hospital. There you will get wholesome food, care and treatment. Yevgéniï Feódoritch—although, between ourselves, de mauvais ton—is a capable man, and you can fully rely upon him. He gave me his word that he would take care of you."
"It never crossed my mind to take offense. Illness is a really strange thing, I get that. Yesterday, your episode scared both the doctor and me, and we talked about you for a long time. My dear friend, why won’t you pay more attention to your health? Do you really think you can keep going on like this? Forgive my bluntness as a friend." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "But you’re living in such a tough environment—it's cramped, dirty, and there’s no one to take care of you or anything for your condition.... My dear friend, both the doctor and I urge you sincerely—please listen to us—go to the hospital. There, you’ll get proper food, care, and treatment. Yevgéniï Feódoritch—though, just between us, it’s bad taste—is a skilled guy, and you can totally trust him. He promised me he would look after you."
Andréi Yéfimitch was touched by the sincere concern of his friend, and the tears that trickled down the postmaster's cheeks.
Andréi Yéfimitch was moved by his friend’s genuine concern and the tears that ran down the postmaster's cheeks.
"My dear friend, don't believe them!" he whispered, laying his hand upon his heart. "It is all a delusion. My complaint lies merely in this, that in twenty years I found in this town only one intelligent man, and he was a lunatic. I suffer from no disease whatever; my misfortune is that I have fallen into a magic circle from which there is no escape. It is all the same to me—I am ready for anything."
"My dear friend, don't trust them!" he whispered, placing his hand over his heart. "It's all an illusion. My only issue is that in twenty years, I've found just one smart person in this town, and he was crazy. I have no illness at all; my misfortune is that I've trapped myself in a magic circle with no way out. It doesn't matter to me—I’m ready for anything."
"Then you will go into the hospital?"
"Are you going into the hospital then?"
"It is all the same—even into the pit."
"It's all the same—even into the pit."
"Give me your word, friend, that you will obey Yevgéniï Feódoritch in everything."
"Promise me, friend, that you'll follow Yevgéniï Feódoritch in everything."
"I give you my word. But I repeat that I have fallen into a magic circle. Everything now, even the sincere concern of my friends, tends only to the same thing—to my destruction. I am perishing, and I have the courage to acknowledge it."
"I promise you. But I’ll say it again, I’ve found myself trapped in a magical circle. Everything now, even the genuine care of my friends, only leads to the same outcome—my downfall. I’m fading away, and I have the guts to admit it."
"Nonsense, you will get all right!"
"Nonsense, you'll be totally fine!"
"What is the use of talking like that?" said Andréi Yéfimitch irritably. "There are very few men who at the close of their lives do not experience what I am experiencing now. When people tell you that you have disease of the kidneys or a dilated heart, and set about to cure you; when they tell you that you are a madman or a criminal—in one word, when they begin to turn their attention on to you—you may recognise that you are in a magic circle from which there is no escape. You may try to escape, but that makes things worse. Give in, for no human efforts will save you. So it seems to me."
"What’s the point of talking like that?" Andréi Yéfimitch said irritably. "There are very few people who, at the end of their lives, don’t go through what I’m going through now. When doctors tell you that you have kidney disease or an enlarged heart and start trying to treat you; when they say you’re insane or a criminal—in short, when the focus shifts to you—you’ll realize you’re in a trap with no way out. You might try to escape, but that just makes it worse. Just give in, because no human effort will save you. At least, that’s how it seems to me."
All this time, people were gathering at the grating. Andréi Yéfimitch disliked interrupting the postmaster's work, and took his leave. Mikhail Averyanitch once more made him give his word of honour, and escorted him to the door.
All this time, people were gathering at the grate. Andréi Yéfimitch didn’t want to interrupt the postmaster’s work, so he said goodbye. Mikhail Averyanitch made him promise again and saw him to the door.
The same day towards evening Khobótoff, in his short fur coat and high boots, arrived unexpectedly, and, as if nothing had happened the day before, said: "I have come to you on a matter of business, colleague, I want you to come with me to a consultation. Eh?"
The same day in the evening, Khobótoff, dressed in his short fur coat and high boots, showed up unexpectedly and, acting as if nothing had happened the day before, said: "I've come to discuss something with you, colleague. I need you to join me for a meeting. Sound good?"
Thinking that Khobótoff wanted to amuse him with a walk, or give him some opportunity of earning money, Andréi Yéfimitch dressed, and went with him into the street. He was glad of the chance to redeem his rudeness of the day before, thankful for the apparent reconciliation, and grateful to Khobótoff for not hinting at the incident. From this uncultured man who would have expected such delicacy?
Thinking that Khobótoff wanted to entertain him with a walk or give him a chance to make some money, Andréi Yéfimitch got dressed and went outside with him. He was happy for the opportunity to make up for his rudeness from the day before, thankful for the apparent reconciliation, and grateful to Khobótoff for not bringing up the incident. Who would have expected such sensitivity from this uncultured man?
"And where is your patient?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch.
"And where's your patient?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch.
"At the hospital. For a long time past I have wanted you to see him.... A most interesting case."
"At the hospital. I've wanted you to see him for a long time now... A really interesting case."
They entered the hospital yard, and passing through the main building, went to the wing where the lunatics were confined. When they entered the hall, Nikita as usual jumped up and stretched himself.
They went into the hospital courtyard, and after going through the main building, headed to the section where the patients were kept. When they walked into the hall, Nikita, as usual, jumped up and stretched.
"One of them has such strange complications in the lungs," whispered Khobótoff as he entered the ward with Andréi Yéfimitch. "But wait here. I shall be back immediately. I must get my stethoscope."
"One of them has some really unusual lung issues," whispered Khobótoff as he walked into the ward with Andréi Yéfimitch. "But hold on here. I'll be back right away. I need to grab my stethoscope."
And he left the room.
And he exited the room.
XVII
It was already twilight. Iván Dmítritch lay on his bed with his face buried in the pillow; the paralytic sat motionless, and wept softly and twitched his lips; the fat muzhik and the ex-sorter slept. It was very quiet.
It was already twilight. Iván Dmítritch lay on his bed with his face buried in the pillow; the paralytic sat still, crying softly and twitching his lips; the fat peasant and the ex-sorter slept. It was very quiet.
Andréi Yéfimitch sat on Iván Dmítritch's bed and listened. Half an hour passed by, but Khobótoff did not come. Instead of Khobótoff came Nikita carrying in his arm a dressing-gown, some linen, and a pair of slippers.
Andréi Yéfimitch sat on Iván Dmítritch's bed and listened. Half an hour went by, but Khobótoff didn’t show up. Instead of Khobótoff, Nikita walked in carrying a dressing gown, some sheets, and a pair of slippers.
"Please to put on these, your Honour," he said calmly. "There is your bed, this way, please," he added, pointing at a vacant bed, evidently only just set up. "And don't take on; with God's will you will soon be well!"
"Please put these on, Your Honor," he said calmly. "Your bed is this way, please," he added, pointing to a vacant bed that had clearly just been made up. "And don't worry; with God's help, you'll be better soon!"
Andréi Yéfimitch understood. Without a Word he walked over to the bed indicated by Nikita and sat upon it. Then, seeing that Nikita was waiting, he stripped himself and felt ashamed. He put on the hospital clothing; the flannels were too small, the shirt was too long, and the dressing-gown smelt of smoked fish.
Andréi Yéfimitch understood. Without a word, he walked over to the bed Nikita pointed out and sat down on it. Then, noticing that Nikita was waiting, he undressed and felt embarrassed. He put on the hospital clothes; the pants were too small, the shirt was too long, and the gown smelled like smoked fish.
"You will soon be all right, God grant it!" repeated Nikita.
"You'll be fine soon, God willing!" Nikita repeated.
He took up Andréi Yéfimitch's clothes, went out, and locked the door.
He picked up Andréi Yéfimitch's clothes, went outside, and locked the door.
"It is all the same," thought Andréi Yéfimitch, shamefacedly gathering the dressing-gown around him, and feeling like a convict in his new garments. "It is all the same. In dress clothes, in uniform ... or in this dressing-gown."
"It doesn’t matter," thought Andréi Yéfimitch, awkwardly pulling the dressing-gown around him, feeling like a prisoner in his new outfit. "It doesn’t matter. Whether in formal clothes, in uniform ... or in this dressing-gown."
But his watch? And the memorandum book in his side pocket? And the cigarettes? Where had Nikita taken his clothes? To the day of his death he would never again wear trousers, a waistcoat, or boots. It was strange and incredible at first. Andréi Yéfimitch was firmly convinced that there was no difference whatever between Madame Byelof's house and Ward No. 6, and that all in this world is folly and vanity; but he could not prevent his hands trembling, and his feet were cold. He was hurt, too, by the thought that Iván Dmítritch would rise and see him in the dressing-gown. He rose, walked up and down the room, and again sat down.
But his watch? And the notebook in his side pocket? And the cigarettes? Where had Nikita taken his clothes? Until the day he died, he would never wear pants, a vest, or boots again. It felt strange and unbelievable at first. Andréi Yéfimitch was convinced there was no difference between Madame Byelof's house and Ward No. 6, and that everything in this world is foolishness and vanity; but he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking, and his feet were cold. He was also upset by the thought that Iván Dmítritch would get up and see him in the dressing gown. He stood up, paced the room, and then sat down again.
He remained sitting for half an hour, weary to the point of grief. Would it be possible to live here a day, a week, even years, as these others had done? He must sit down, and walk about and again sit down; and then he might look out of the window, and again walk from end to end of the room. And afterwards? Just to sit all day still as an idol, and think! No, it was impossible.
He sat there for half an hour, feeling exhausted to the point of despair. Could he really live here for a day, a week, or even years like the others? He had to sit, then walk around, then sit again; maybe look out the window, then pace back and forth in the room. And after that? Just sitting all day like a statue and thinking? No, that was impossible.
Andréi Yéfimitch lay down on his bed, but almost immediately rose, rubbed with his cuff the cold sweat from his forehead, and felt that his whole face smelt of dried fish. He walked up and down the ward.
Andréi Yéfimitch lay down on his bed, but almost immediately got up, wiped the cold sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, and noticed that his whole face smelled like dried fish. He walked around the ward.
"This is some misunderstanding...." he said, opening his arms. "It only needs an explanation, it is a misunderstanding...."
"This is a misunderstanding...." he said, opening his arms. "It just needs an explanation; it's a misunderstanding...."
At this moment Iván Dmítritch awoke. He sat up in bed, rested his head on his hands, and spat. Then he looked idly at the doctor, apparently at first understanding nothing. But soon his sleepy face grew contemptuous and malicious.
At that moment, Ivan Dmitrich woke up. He sat up in bed, rested his head on his hands, and spat. Then he looked lazily at the doctor, seemingly not understanding anything at first. But soon his sleepy face turned contemptuous and spiteful.
"So they have brought you here, my friend," he began in a voice hoarse from sleep. He blinked one eye. "I am very glad! You drank other men's blood, and now they will drink yours! Admirable!"
"So they’ve brought you here, my friend," he started in a voice rough from sleep. He blinked one eye. "I’m really glad! You’ve tasted other men's blood, and now they’ll taste yours! Impressive!"
"It is some misunderstanding ..." began Andréi Yéfimitch, frightened by the lunatic's words. He shrugged his shoulders and repeated. "It is a misunderstanding of some kind."
"It’s a bit of a misunderstanding ..." began Andréi Yéfimitch, startled by the crazed person's words. He shrugged his shoulders and repeated, "It’s a misunderstanding of some sort."
Iván Dmítritch again spat, and lay down on his bed.
Iván Dmítritch spat again and lay down on his bed.
"Accursed life!" he growled. "But what is most bitter, most abominable of all, is that this life ends not with rewards for suffering, not with apotheoses as in operas, but in death; men come and drag the corpse by its arms and legs into the cellar. Brrrrrr!... Well, never mind!... For all that we have suffered in this, in the other world we will be repaid with a holiday! From the other world I shall return hither as a shadow, and terrify these monsters!... I will turn their heads grey!"
"Damned life!" he growled. "But what’s most bitter, most disgusting of all, is that this life doesn't end with rewards for suffering, not with glorification like in operas, but in death; people come and drag the corpse by its arms and legs into the basement. Brrrrrr!... Well, whatever!... For all we’ve endured in this life, in the next world, we will be rewarded with a break! From the afterlife, I will come back here as a ghost and scare these monsters!... I will turn their hair white!"
Moséika entered the ward, and seeing the doctor, stretched out his hand, and said:
Moséika walked into the ward, saw the doctor, reached out his hand, and said:
"Give me a kopeck!"
"Give me a ruble!"
XVIII
Andréi Yéfimitch went across to the window, and looked out into the fields. It was getting dark, and on the horizon rose a cold, livid moon. Near the hospital railings, a hundred fathoms away, not more, rose a lofty, white building, surrounded by a stone wall. It was the prison.
Andréi Yéfimitch walked over to the window and looked out at the fields. It was getting dark, and a cold, pale moon was rising on the horizon. Nearby, just a hundred yards away, stood a tall white building, surrounded by a stone wall. It was the prison.
"That is actuality," thought Andréi Yéfimitch, and he felt terrified.
"That is reality," thought Andréi Yéfimitch, and he felt scared.
Everything was terrible: the moon, the prison, the spikes in the fence, and the blaze in the distant bone-mill. Andréi Yéfimitch turned away from the window, and saw before him a man with glittering stars and orders upon his breast. The man smiled and winked cunningly. And this, too, seemed terrible.
Everything was awful: the moon, the prison, the spikes on the fence, and the fire in the faraway bone mill. Andréi Yéfimitch turned away from the window and saw a man with shiny medals and badges on his chest. The man smiled and winked slyly. And that, too, felt awful.
He tried to assure himself that in the moon and in the prison there was nothing peculiar at all, that even sane men wear orders, and that the best of things in their turn rot and turn into dust. But despair suddenly seized him, he took hold of the grating with both hands, and jerked it with all his strength. But the bars stood firm.
He tried to convince himself that there was nothing strange about the moon or the prison, that even sane people follow rules, and that even the best things eventually decay and turn to dust. But despair suddenly took over him; he grabbed the bars with both hands and yanked them with all his strength. But the bars held strong.
That it might be less terrible, he went to Iván Dmítritch's bed, and sat upon it.
That it might be less awful, he went to Iván Dmítritch's bed and sat on it.
"I have lost my spirits, friend," he said, stammering, trembling, and rubbing the cold sweat from his face. "My spirits have fallen."
"I've lost my spirits, friend," he said, stammering, shaking, and wiping the cold sweat from his face. "My spirits are down."
"But why don't you philosophise?" asked Iván Dmítritch ironically.
"But why don't you think deeply?" asked Iván Dmítritch sarcastically.
"My God, my God!... Yes, yes!... Once you said that in Russia there is no philosophy; but all philosophise, even triflers. But the philosophising of triflers does no harm to anyone," said Andréi Yéfimitch as if he wanted to cry. "By why, my dear friend, why this malicious laughter? Why should not triflers philosophise if they are not satisfied? For a clever, cultivated, proud, freedom-loving man, built in the image of God, there is no course left but to come as doctor to a dirty, stupid town, and lead a life of jars, leeches, and gallipots. Charlatanry, narrowness, baseness! Oh, my God!"
"My God, my God!... Yes, yes!... Once you said that there’s no philosophy in Russia; but everyone thinks about these things, even those who waste time. But the thinking of shallow people doesn’t hurt anyone," Andréi Yéfimitch said, almost in tears. "But why, my dear friend, why the malicious laughter? Why shouldn’t shallow people think deeply if they’re unhappy? For a smart, educated, proud, freedom-loving person—made in God's image—there’s no choice but to come as a doctor to a dirty, ignorant town, and live a life filled with jars, leeches, and bottles. Quackery, ignorance, meanness! Oh, my God!"
"You chatter nonsense! If you didn't want to be a doctor, why weren't you a minister of state?"
"You talk nonsense! If you didn't want to be a doctor, why didn't you become a government minister?"
"I could not. We are weak, my friend. I was indifferent to things, I reasoned actively and wholesomely, but it needed but the first touch of actuality to make me lose heart, and surrender.... We are weak; we are worthless!... And you also, my friend. You are able, you are noble, with your mother's milk you drank in draughts of happiness, yet hardly had you entered upon life when you wearied of it.... We are weak, weak!"
"I couldn't do it. We're weak, my friend. I was apathetic toward things, I thought things through clearly and sensibly, but it only took the first real challenge to make me lose my confidence and give up... We're weak; we're worthless!... And you too, my friend. You're capable, you're noble, you soaked in happiness from your mother’s milk, yet as soon as you started living, you grew tired of it... We are weak, weak!"
In addition to terror and the feeling of insult, Andréi Yéfimitch had been tortured by sonic importunate craving ever since the approach of evening. Finally he came to the conclusion that he wanted to smoke and drink beer.
In addition to terror and feeling insulted, Andréi Yéfimitch had been tormented by an insistent desire ever since evening began to set in. Ultimately, he decided that he wanted to smoke and drink beer.
"I am going out, my friend," he said. "I will tell them to bring lights.... I cannot in this way.... I am not in a state...."
"I’m heading out, my friend," he said. "I’ll tell them to bring lights.... I can’t do this like this.... I’m not in the right state...."
He went to the door and opened it, but immediately Nikita jumped up and barred the way.
He went to the door and opened it, but right away, Nikita jumped up and blocked the way.
"Where are you going to? You can't, you can't!" he cried. "It's time for bed!"
"Where are you going? You can't, you can't!" he yelled. "It's time for bed!"
"But only for a minute.... I want to go into the yard.... I want to have a walk in the yard," said Andréi Yéfimitch.
"But just for a minute.... I want to go into the yard.... I want to take a walk in the yard," said Andréi Yéfimitch.
"You can't. I have orders against it.... You know yourself."
"You can't. I have strict orders against it.... You know that."
Nikita banged the door and set his back against it. "But if I go out what harm will it do?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch. "I don't understand! Nikita, I must go out!" he cried in a trembling voice. "I must go!"
Nikita slammed the door and leaned against it. "What’s the big deal if I go out?" asked Andréi Yéfimitch. "I don’t get it! Nikita, I have to go out!" he cried, his voice shaking. "I need to go!"
"Don't create disorder; it is not right!" said Nikita in an edifying tone.
"Don't cause trouble; that's not okay!" said Nikita in a teachable tone.
"The devil knows what is the meaning of this!" suddenly screamed Iván Dmitri tch, jumping from his bed. "What right has he to refuse to let us go? How dare they keep us here? The law allows no man to be deprived of freedom without a trial! This is violence ... tyranny!"
"The devil knows what this really means!" Iván Dmitri shouted suddenly, jumping out of bed. "What right do they have to refuse to let us go? How dare they keep us here? The law doesn’t allow anyone to be stripped of their freedom without a trial! This is violence... tyranny!"
"Of course it is tyranny," said Andréi Yéfimitch, encouraging Gromof. "I must go! I have to go out! He has no right! Let me out, I tell you!"
"Of course it's tyranny," said Andréi Yéfimitch, urging Gromof. "I have to go! I need to get out! He has no right! Let me out, I’m telling you!"
"Do you hear, stupid dog!" screamed Ivrin Dmítritch, thumping the door with his fists. "Open, or I will smash the door! Blood-sucker!"
"Do you hear me, you stupid dog!" Ivrin Dmítritch yelled, pounding on the door with his fists. "Open up, or I'll break the door down! Blood-sucker!"
"Open!" cried Andréi Yéfimitch, trembling all over: "I demand it!"
"Open!" shouted Andréi Yéfimitch, shaking all over. "I demand it!"
"Talk away!" answered Nikita through the door. "Talk away!"
"Go ahead and talk!" answered Nikita through the door. "Go ahead and talk!"
"Go, then, for Yevgéniï Feódoritch! Say that I ask him to come ... For a minute!"
"Go, then, for Yevgéniï Feódoritch! Tell him I need him to come ... For a minute!"
"To-morrow he will come all right."
"Tomorrow he will come just fine."
"They will never let us go!" cried Iván Dmítritch. "We will all die here! Oh, God, is it possible that in the other world there is no hell, that these villains will be forgiven? Where is there justice? Open, scoundrel, I am choking!" Gromof cried out in a hoarse voice, and flung himself against the door. "I will dash my brains out! Assassins!"
"They're never going to let us go!" Iván Dmítritch exclaimed. "We're all going to die here! Oh, God, is it really possible that in the afterlife there’s no hell and that these criminals will be forgiven? Where’s the justice? Open up, you scoundrel, I can't breathe!" Gromof shouted hoarsely and threw himself against the door. "I’m going to smash my head against it! Murderers!"
Nikita flung open the door, and with both hands and his knees roughly pushed Andréi Yéfimitch back into the room, and struck him with his clenched fist full in the face. It seemed to Andréi Yéfimitch that a great salt wave had suddenly dashed upon his head and flung him upon his bed; in his mouth was a taste of salt, and the blood seemed to burst from his gums. As if trying to swim away from the wave, he flourished his arms and seized the bedstead. But at this moment Nikita struck him again and again in the back. Iván Dmítritch screamed loudly. He also had evidently been beaten.
Nikita threw open the door and forcefully shoved Andréi Yéfimitch back into the room with both hands and his knees, landing a punch straight to his face. To Andréi Yéfimitch, it felt like a huge wave of saltwater had crashed over him, throwing him onto his bed. He could taste the salt in his mouth, and it felt like blood was rushing from his gums. Trying to escape the wave, he flailed his arms and clutched the bedframe. At that moment, Nikita hit him again and again in the back. Iván Dmítritch screamed loudly. He also appeared to have been beaten.
Then all was quiet Liquid moonlight poured through between the iron bars, and on the floor lay a network shadow. All were terrified. Andréi Yéfimitch lay on the bed and held his breath in terror, awaiting another blow.
Then all was quiet. Liquid moonlight poured through the iron bars, and on the floor lay a shadowy network. Everyone was terrified. Andréi Yéfimitch was on the bed, holding his breath in fear, anticipating another blow.
It seemed as if someone had taken a sickle, thrust it into his chest and turned it around. In his agony he bit his pillow and ground his teeth, and suddenly into his head amid the chaos flashed the intolerable thought that such misery had been borne year after year by these helpless men who now lay in the moonlight like black shadows about him. In twenty years he had never known of it, and never wanted to know. He did not know, he had no idea of their wretchedness, therefore he was not guilty; but conscience, as rude and unaccommodating as Nikita's fists, sent an icy thrill through him from head to foot. He jumped from his bed and tried to scream with all his might, to fly from the ward and kill Nikita, and Khobótoff, and the superintendent, and the feldscher, and himself. But not a sound came from his throat, his feet rebelled against him, he panted, he tore his gown and shirt, and fell insensible on the bed.
It felt like someone had taken a sickle, stabbed it into his chest, and twisted it around. In his pain, he bit his pillow and ground his teeth, and suddenly, amid the chaos, the unbearable realization hit him that these helpless men, lying around him in the moonlight like dark shadows, had suffered this kind of misery year after year. In twenty years, he had never seen it, and he never wanted to. He was unaware of their suffering, so he didn’t feel guilty; but his conscience, as harsh and unyielding as Nikita's fists, sent a chilling shock through him from head to toe. He jumped out of bed and tried to scream with all his strength, wanting to escape the ward and kill Nikita, Khobótoff, the superintendent, the feldscher, and even himself. But no sound came from his throat, his feet wouldn’t cooperate, he gasped for air, tore his gown and shirt, and collapsed onto the bed, unconscious.
XIX
Next morning his head ached, his cars hummed, and he was weak. The memory of his weakness of the day before made him feel ashamed. Yesterday he had shown a petty spirit, he had feared even the moon, and honestly expressed feelings and thoughts which he had never suspected could exist in himself. For instance, the thought about the discontent of philosophic triflers. But now he was quite indifferent.
Next morning, his head throbbed, his ears buzzed, and he felt weak. The memory of his weakness from the day before made him feel ashamed. Yesterday, he had acted petty, even afraid of the moon, and shared feelings and thoughts he never knew he had. For example, thoughts about the dissatisfaction of philosophical lightweights. But now he felt completely indifferent.
He neither ate nor drank, but lay motionless and silent.
He neither ate nor drank, but lay still and quiet.
"It is all the same to me," he thought when he was questioned. "I shall not answer.... It is all the same...."
"It doesn't matter to me," he thought when he was asked. "I won't answer... It doesn't matter..."
After dinner Mikhail Averyanitch brought him a quarter of a pound of tea and a pound of marmalade. Dáryushka also came, and for a whole hour stood beside the bed with a dull expression of uncomprehending affliction. Doctor Khobótoff also paid him a visit. He brought a phial of bromide of potassium, and ordered Nikita to fumigate the ward.
After dinner, Mikhail Averyanitch brought him a quarter pound of tea and a pound of marmalade. Dáryushka also came by and stood beside the bed for an entire hour with a blank look of confusion and sorrow. Doctor Khobótoff visited too, bringing a vial of potassium bromide and instructing Nikita to disinfect the ward.
Towards evening Andréi Yéfimitch died from an apoplectic stroke. At first he felt chill, and sickness; something loathsome like rotting sour cabbage or bad eggs seemed to permeate his whole body even to his fingers, to extend from his stomach to his head, and to flow in his eyes and ears. A green film appeared before his eyes. Andréi Yéfimitch realised that his hour had come; and remembered that Iván Dmítritch, Mikhail Averyanitch, and millions of others believed in immortality. But immortality he did not desire, and thought of it only for a moment. A herd of antelopes, extraordinarily beautiful and graceful, of which he had been reading the day before, rushed past him; then a woman stretched out to him a hand holding a registered letter.... Mikhail Averyanitch said something. Then all vanished and Andréi Yéfimitch died.
Towards evening, Andréi Yéfimitch died from a stroke. At first, he felt a chill and sickness; something disgusting, like rotten sour cabbage or bad eggs, seemed to seep through his whole body, reaching from his stomach to his head, flowing into his eyes and ears. A green haze appeared before his eyes. Andréi Yéfimitch realized that his time had come and remembered that Iván Dmítritch, Mikhail Averyanitch, and millions of others believed in immortality. But he didn’t want that immortality and thought of it only briefly. A herd of antelopes, incredibly beautiful and graceful, which he had been reading about the day before, rushed past him; then a woman reached out to him with a hand holding a registered letter…. Mikhail Averyanitch said something. Then everything disappeared, and Andréi Yéfimitch died.
The servants came in, took him by the shoulders and legs, and carried him to the chapel. There he lay on a table with open eyes, and at night the moon shone down upon him. In the morning came Sergéi Sergéyitch, piously prayed before a crucifix, and closed the eyes of his former chief. Next day Andréi Yéfim itch was buried. Only Mikhail Averyanitch and Dáryushka were present at the funeral.
The servants came in, lifted him by the shoulders and legs, and carried him to the chapel. There he lay on a table with his eyes open, and at night the moonlight shone down on him. In the morning, Sergéi Sergéyitch came, said a prayer before a crucifix, and closed the eyes of his former boss. The next day, Andréi Yéfim itch was buried. Only Mikhail Averyanitch and Dáryushka attended the funeral.
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