This is a modern-English version of Gleanings from the Harvest-Fields of Literature: A Melange of Excerpta, originally written by unknown author(s).
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Transcriber’s Note:
Transcriber's Note:
The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.
The cover image was made by the transcriber and is in the public domain.
GLEANINGS
FOR THE INQUISITIVE
FROM THE
Harvest of Literary Works.
A MIX OF EXCERPTS,
“So she gleaned in the field until even, and beat out that she had gleaned: and it was about an ephah of barley.” Ruth 2:17.
"She worked in the field until evening and threshed what she had gathered: it was about a bushel of barley." Ruth 2:17.
“I have here made a nosegay of culled flowers, and have brought nothing of my own but the string that ties them.”—Montaigne.
"I've created a bouquet of selected flowers, and all I’ve brought is the string that ties them together."—Montaigne.

Prefatory.
I am not ignorant, ne unsure, that many there are, before whose sight this Book shall finde small grace, and lesse favour. So hard a thing it is to write or indite and matter, whatsoever it be, that should be able to sustaine and abide the variable judgement, and to obtaine or winne the constant love and allowance of every man, especially if it containe in it any novelty or unwonted strangenesse.—Raynald’s Woman’s Book.
I’m not unaware or uncertain that there are many people who will find this book lacking in value and appeal. It’s such a difficult task to write something, no matter what it is, that can withstand varying opinions and gain the steady love and approval of everyone, especially if it includes anything new or unusual.—Raynald's Women's Book.
ivBid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman.
ivWelcome him. This is the eccentric gentleman.
—A fountain set round with a rim of old, mossy stones, and paved in its bed with a sort of mosaic work of variously-colored pebbles.
—A fountain surrounded by a rim of old, moss-covered stones, and built with a mosaic of variously colored pebbles at the bottom.
—A gatherer and a disposer of other men’s stuff.
—A collector and a disposer of other people's belongings.
A running banquet that hath much variety, but little of a sort.
A buffet that has a lot of variety, but not much of any one type.
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
They've been at a big feast of languages and taken the leftovers.
There’s no want of meat, sir; portly and curious viands are prepared to please all kinds of appetites.
There’s no shortage of meat, sir; hearty and interesting dishes are prepared to satisfy all sorts of tastes.
A dinner of fragments is said often to be the best dinner. So are there few minds but might furnish some instruction and entertainment out of their scraps, their odds and ends of thought. They who cannot weave a uniform web may at least produce a piece of patchwork; which may be useful and not without a charm of its own.
A dinner made up of bits and pieces is often said to be the best kind of dinner. In the same way, there are very few minds that can't offer some insight and entertainment from their leftover thoughts and ideas. Those who can’t create a cohesive masterpiece can still create a piece of patchwork, which can be useful and has its own unique charm.
—It is a regular omnibus; there is something in it to everybody’s taste. Those who like fat can have it; so can they who like lean; as well as those who prefer sugar, and those who choose pepper.
—It’s a typical mix; there’s something for everyone’s taste. Those who enjoy rich flavors can find it; so can those who prefer lighter options, as well as those who like sweet, and those who prefer spicy.
Read, and fear not thine own understanding: this book will create a clear one in thee; and when thou hast considered thy purchase, thou wilt call the price of it a charity to thyself.
Read, and don't be afraid of your own understanding: this book will clarify things for you; and once you think about what you've bought, you'll see the price as a gift to yourself.
In winter you may reade them ad ignem, by the fireside, and in summer ad umbram, under some shadie tree; and therewith passe away the tedious howres.
In winter, you can read them to the fire, by the fireplace, and in summer in the shade, under a shady tree; and there you can pass the long hours.
INTRODUCTION.
An earlier edition of Gleanings having attracted the hearty approval of a limited circle of that class of readers who prefer “a running banquet that hath much variety, but little of a sort,” the present publisher requested the preparation of an enlargement of the work. In the augmented form in which it is now offered to the public, the contents will be found so much more comprehensive and omnifarious that, while it has been nearly doubled in size, it has been more than doubled in literary value.
An earlier edition of Insights received enthusiastic praise from a small group of readers who enjoy “a continuous feast with lots of variety and little of the same thing.” The current publisher asked for an expanded version of the work. In the enhanced edition now available to the public, the content is much more comprehensive and diverse, so while it has nearly doubled in size, its literary value has more than doubled.
Miscellanea of the omnium-gatherum sort appear to be as acceptable to-day as they undoubtedly were in the youthful period of our literature, though for an opposite reason. When books were scarce, and costly, and inaccessible, anxious readers found in “scripscrapologia” multifarious sources of instruction; now that books are like the stars for multitude, the reader who is appalled by their endless succession and variety is fain to receive with thankfulness the cream that is skimmed and the grain that is sifted by patient hands for his use. Our ancestors were regaled with such olla-podrida as “The Gallimaufry: a Kickshaw [Fr. quelque chose] Treat which comprehends odd bits and scraps, and odds and ends;” or “The Wit’s Miscellany: odd and uncommon epigrams, facetious drolleries, whimsical mottoes, merry tales, and fables, for the entertainment and diversion of good company.” To the present generation is accorded a wider field for excursion, from the Curiosities of Disraeli, and the Commonplaces of Southey, to the less ambitious collections of less learned collaborators.
Miscellaneous collections seem to be just as popular today as they clearly were in the early days of our literature, though for completely different reasons. When books were rare, expensive, and hard to get, eager readers discovered a variety of knowledge in “scripscrapologia.” Now that books are as numerous as the stars, readers who feel overwhelmed by the endless options are thankful for the highlights and valuable insights that careful hands have filtered for their benefit. Our forebears enjoyed such mixed collections as “The Gallimaufry: a Treat of Random Bits and Scraps” or “The Wit’s Miscellany: a Collection of Unique Epigrams, Funny Stories, Quirky Mottos, Lively Tales, and Fables for the Entertainment and Amusement of Good Company.” Today’s generation has a wider range to explore, from Disraeli's Curiosities and Southey's Commonplaces to the simpler collections of less scholarly collaborators.
“Into a hotch-potch,” says Sir Edward Coke, “is commonly put not one thing alone, but one thing with other things together.” The present volume is an expedient for grouping together a variety which will be found in no other compilation. From the nonsense of literary trifling to the highest expression of intellectual force; from the anachronisms of art to the grandest revelations of science; from selections for the child to extracts for the philosopher, it will accommodate the widest diversity of taste, and furnish entertainment for all ages, sexes, and conditions. As a pastime for the leisure half-hour, at vihome or abroad; as a companion by the fireside, or the seaside, amid the hum of the city, or in the solitude of rural life; as a means of relaxation for the mind jaded by business activities, it may be safely commended to acceptance.
“Into a mix,” says Sir Edward Coke, “is usually put not just one thing alone, but one thing along with other things.” This book is a way to bring together a variety that you won’t find in any other collection. From silly literary fluff to the highest displays of intellectual strength; from art’s anachronisms to the greatest discoveries in science; from pieces for kids to excerpts for philosophers, it will cater to the broadest range of tastes and offer enjoyment for everyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. Whether as a way to pass the time during a quick break, at home or on the go; as a cozy companion by the fire or at the beach, amidst the buzz of the city, or in the quiet of country life; or as a way to unwind for the mind tired from work, it can be confidently recommended for your consideration.
The aim of this collation is not to be exhaustive, but simply to be well compacted. The restrictive limits of an octavo require the winnowings of selection in place of the bulk of expansion. Gargantua, we are told by Rabelais, wrote to his son Pantagruel, commanding him to learn Greek, Latin, Chaldaic, and Arabic; all history, geometry, arithmetic, music, astronomy, natural philosophy, etc., “so that there be not a river in the world thou dost not know the name and nature of all its fishes; all the fowls of the air; all the several kinds of shrubs and herbs; all the metals hid in the bowels of the earth, all gems and precious stones. I would furthermore have thee study the Talmudists and Cabalists, and get a perfect knowledge of man. In brief, I would have thee a bottomless pit of all knowledge.” While this book does not aspire to such Gargantuan comprehensiveness, it seeks a higher grade of merit than that which attaches to those who “chronicle small beer,” or to him who is merely “a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles.”
The goal of this collection isn't to be all-encompassing but rather to be concise. The limited space of an octavo means that we have to prioritize selecting material over expanding it. Rabelais tells us that Gargantua wrote to his son Pantagruel, instructing him to learn Greek, Latin, Chaldaic, and Arabic; all of history, geometry, arithmetic, music, astronomy, natural philosophy, and more, “so that you know the name and nature of all the fishes in every river; all the birds in the sky; all the different kinds of shrubs and herbs; all the metals hidden in the earth, as well as all gems and precious stones. I would also have you study the Talmudists and Cabalists to gain a thorough understanding of humanity. In short, I want you to be a bottomless well of knowledge.” While this book doesn’t aim for such vast breadth, it aspires to a higher quality than those who merely “chronicle small beer” or those who are simply “gatherers of unconsidered trifles.”
Quaint old Burton, in describing the travels of Paulus Emilius, says, “He took great content, exceeding delight in that his voyage, as who doth not that shall attempt the like? For peregrination charms our senses with such unspeakable and sweet variety, that some count him unhappy that never traveled, a kind of prisoner, and pity his case that from his cradle to his old age beholds the same still; still, still, the same, the same.” It is the purpose of these Gleanings to compass such “sweet variety” by conducting the reader here, through the green lanes of freshened thought, and there, through by-paths neglected and gray with the moss of ages; now, amid cultivated fields, and then, adown untrodden ways; at one time, to rescue from oblivion fugitive thoughts which the world should not “willingly let die,” at another, to restore to sunlight gems which have been too long “underkept and down supprest.” The compiler asks the tourist to accompany him, because with him, as with Montaigne and Hans Andersen, there is no pleasure without communication, and though all men may find in these Collectanea some things which they will recognize as old acquaintances, yet will they find many more with which they are unfamiliar, and to which their attention has never been awakened.
Quaint old Burton, in describing the travels of Paulus Emilius, says, “He took great pleasure, immense delight in his journey, as who doesn’t when they attempt something similar? Travel captivates our senses with such indescribable and sweet variety that some consider those who never travel to be unfortunate, like a kind of prisoner, and feel sorry for someone who sees the same thing from childhood to old age; constantly, constantly, the same, the same.” The purpose of these Insights is to encompass such “sweet variety” by leading the reader here, through the fresh paths of new ideas, and there, through the neglected side paths, aged with time; sometimes, in cultivated fields, and at other times, down untouched trails; at one moment, to recover forgotten thoughts that the world shouldn’t “willingly let die,” and at another, to bring back into the light treasures that have been too long “hidden and suppressed.” The compiler invites travelers to join him, because, like Montaigne and Hans Andersen, he believes there is no joy in solitude, and while everyone may find some familiar things in these Collectanea, they will also discover many more that they haven’t encountered before, which have never caught their attention.
Contents.
Alphabetical Whims. | |
---|---|
The Freaks and Follies of Literature—Account of certain Singular Books—What are Pangrammata?—The Banished Letters—Eve’s Legend—Alphabetical Advertisement—The Three Initials—A Jacobite Toast—“The Beginning of Eternity”—The Poor Letter II—The Letters of the World—Traps for the Cockneys—Ingenious Verses on the Vowels—Alliterative Verses—“A Bevy of Belles”—Antithetical Sermon—Acrostics—Double, Triple, and Reversed Acrostics—Beautiful and Singular Instances—The Poets in Verse—On Benedict Arnold—Curious Pasquinade—Monastic Verses—The Figure of the Fish—Acrostic on Napoleon—Madame Rachael—Masonic Memento—“Hempe”—“Brevity of Human Life”—Acrostic Valentine—Anagrams—German, Latin, and English Instances—Chronograms. | 25 |
Palindromes. | |
Reading in every Style—What is a Palindrome?—What St. Martin said to the Devil—The Lawyer’s Motto—What Adam said to Eve—The Poor Young Man in Love—What Dean Swift wrote to Dr. Sheridan—“The Witch’s Prayer”—The Device of a Lady—Huguenot and Romanist; Double Dealing. | 59 |
Equivoque. | |
A Very Deceitful Epistle—A Wicked Love Letter—What a Young Wife wrote to her Friend—The Jesuit’s Creed—Revolutionary Verses—Double Dealings—A Fatal Name—The Triple Platform—A Bishop’s Evasion—The “Toast” given by a Smart Young Man—“The Handwriting on the Wall”—French Actresses—How Mlle. Mars told her Age—A Lenient Judge—What Mlle. Cico whimpered to “the Bench.” | 64 |
The Cento. | |
viii“A Cloak of Patches”—How Centos are made—Mosaic Poetry—The Poets in a Mixed State—New Version of Old Lines—Cento on Life—A Cento from thirty-eight Authors—Cento from Pope—Biblical Sentiments—The Return of Israel—Religious Centos. | 73 |
Macaronic Verse. | |
“A Treatise on Wine”—Monkish Opinions—Which Tree is Best?—A Lover with Nine Tongues—Horace in a New Dress—What was Written on a Fly-Leaf—“The Cat and the Rats”—An Advertisement in Five Languages—Parting Address to a Friend—“Oh, the Rhine!”—The Death of the Sea Serpent. | 78 |
Chain Verse. | |
Lasphrise’s Novelties—Singular Ode to Death—On “The Truth”—“Long I looked into the Sky”—A Ringing Song—A Gem of Three Centuries Old. | 85 |
Bouts Rimés. | |
The Skeletons of Poetry—How the Poet Dulot lost all his Ideas—The Flight of three hundred Sonnets—The “Nettle” Rhymes—How a Young Lady teased her Beau—Assisting a Poet—Miss Lydia’s Acrostic—Alfred De Musset’s Lines—What the Duc de Malakoff wrote—Reversed Rhymes—How to make “Rhopalic” verses!—What they are. | 88 |
Emblematic Poetry. | |
Poetry in Visible Shape—The Bow and Arrow of Love—The Deceitful Glass—Prudent Advice—A Very Singular Dirge—Poetry among the Monks—Sacred Symbols—A Hymn in Cruciform Shape—Ancient Devices—Verses within the Cross—Cypher—“U O a O. but I O U”—Perplexing Printer’s Puzzle—An Oxford Joke—The Puzzle of “The Precepts Ten”—A Mysterious Letter to Miss K. T. J. | 92 |
Monosyllables. | |
ixThe Power of Little Words—How Pope Ridiculed them—The “Universal Prayer”—Example of Dr. Watts—Wesley’s Hymns—Writings of Shakespeare and Milton—“Address to the Daffodils”—Geo. Herbert’s Poems—Testimony of Keble, Young, Landor, and Fletcher—Examples from Bailey’s “Festus”—The Short Words of Scripture—Big and Little Words Compared. | 98 |
The Bible. | |
Who wrote the Scriptures—Why—And When—Accuracy of the Bible—The Testimony of Modern Discoveries—Scope and Depth of Scripture Teaching—What Learned Men have written of the Bible—Testimony of Rousseau, Wilberforce, Bolingbroke, Sir Wm. Jones, Webster, John Quincy Adams, Addison, Byron, &c.—Who Translated the Bible—Wickliffe’s Version—Tyndale’s Translation—Matthew’s Bible—Cranmer’s Edition—The Geneva Bible—The Breeches Bible—The Bishop’s Bible—Parker’s Bible—The Douay Bible—King James’s Bible—The Number of Books, Chapters, Verses, Words, and Letters in the Old and New Testaments—The Bible Dissected—An Extraordinary Calculation—Distinctions between the Gospels—The Lost Books—What the word “Selah” means—The Poetry of the Bible—Shakespeare’s Knowledge of Scripture—The “True Gentleman” of the Bible—Misquotations from Scripture—A Scriptural “Bull”—Wit and Humor in the Bible—Sacred Lots—Casting Lots with the Bible. | 103 |
The Name of God. | |
How God is known—His Name in all the tongues of Earth—Ancient Saxon Ideas of Deity—“Elohim” and “Jehovah”—The “Lord” of the Ancient Jews—“God in Shakespeare”—The Fatherhood of God—The Parsee, Jew, and Christian. | 127 |
I. H. S. | |
The Name of Jesus—What does I. H. S. Mean?—De Nomine Jesu—What St. Bernardine did—“The Flower of Jesse”—Story of the Infant Jesus—Ancient Legends of Christ—Persian Story; The Dead Dog—Description of Christ’s Person—The Death Warrant of Christ—The Sign of the Cross in Ancient America. | 130 |
The Lord’s Prayer. | |
xThy and Us—The “Spirit” of the Lord’s Prayer—Gothic Version of the Fourth Century—Metrical Versions—Set to Music—The Prayer Illustrated—Acrostical Paraphrase—What the Bible Commentators Said—The Prayer Echoed—A Singular Acrostic. | 136 |
Ecclesiasticæ. | |
Anecdotes of Clergy—Excessive Civility—A Very Polite Preacher—Dean Swift’s short Sermon—“Down with the Dust”—An Abbreviated Sermon—Dr. Dodd’s Sermon on Malt—Bombastic Style of Bascom—The Preachers of Cromwell’s time—When a man ought to Cough!—Origin of Texts—How the Ancient Prophets Preached—Clerical Blunders—Proving an Alibi—Whitefield and the Sailors—Protestant Excommunication—The Tender Mercies of John Knox. | 143 |
Puritan Peculiarities. | |
The Puritan Maiden “Tribby”—A Jury-List of 1658—An Extraordinary List of Names—Singular Similes—Early Punishments in Massachusetts—Virginia Penalties in the Olden Time—Primitive Fines for Curious Crimes—Staying away from Church—The “Blue Laws” of Connecticut—Hard Punishments for Little Faults. | 150 |
Paronomasia. | |
The Art of Pun-making—What is Wit?—Puns Among the Hebrews—A Pungent Chapter—Punning Examples—The Short Road to Wealth—A “Man of Greece”—Witty Impromptus of Sydney Smith—Startling toast of Harry Erskine—“Top and Bottom”—The Imp of Darkness and the Imp o’ Light—A Printer’s Epitaph—The “whacks” and the “stick”—“Wo-man” and “Whim-men”—Faithless Sally Brown—Whiskers versus Razors—Pleasure and Payne—Plaint of the old Pauper—To my Nose—Bad “accountants” but excellent “book-keepers”—The Vegetable Girl—On an Old Horse—Grand Scheme of Emigration—“The Perilous Practice of Punning”—“Your Gateway to Safety”—On a Youth who was killed by Fruit—The Appeal of Widow-Hood—Swift’s Latin Puns—Puns in Macbeth—Classical Puns and Mottoes—Mottoes of the English Peerage—Jeux-de-Mots—How Schott Willing—A Catalectic Monody—Bees of the Bible—Franklin’s “Re’s”—Funny “Miss-Nomers”—Crooked Coincidences—A Court Fool’s Pun. | 155 |
English Words and Forms of Expression. | |
xiDictionary English—Number of words in the English Language—Language of the Bible—Sources of the Language—Helping a Foreigner—Difficulties of the Language—Disraelian English—Why use “Ye”?—Its, His, and Her—How often “That” may be used—How many sounds are given to “ough”—A Literary Squabble—Concerning certain Words—Excise, Pontiff, Rough—Dr. Johnson in Trouble—Americanisms—“No Love Lost”—The Forlorn Hope—Quiz—Tennyson’s English—Eccentric Etymologies—Words which have changed their Meaning—Strange Derivations—Influence of Names—Big Words and Long Names. | 182 |
Tall Writing. | |
The Domicile erected by John—New Version of an Old Story—Curiosities of Advertising—Mr. Connors and his big Words—Curiosities of the Post Office—Singular Play Bill—Andrew Borde, his Book—The Mad Poet—Foote’s Funny Farrago—Burlesque of Dr. Johnson—Newspaper Eulogy—“Clear as Mud”—An Indignant Letter—A Chemical Valentine—The Surgeon to his Lady-love—The Lawyers Ode to Spring—Proverbs for Precocious Pupils. | 212 |
Metric Prose. | |
Unconscious Poetizing—Cowper’s Rhyming Letter to Newton—Poetic Prose in Irving’s Knickerbocker—Example from Disraeli’s “Alroy”—Unintentional Rhythm in Charles Dickens’ works—Old Curiosity Shop and Nicholas Nickleby—American Notes—Versification in Scripture—Rhymes from Celebrated Prosers—Curious Instance of Abraham Lincoln—Opinion of Dr. Johnson—Examples from Kemble and Siddons. | 223 |
The Humors of Versification. | |
The Story of the Lovers—Mingled Moods and Tenses—The Stammering Wife—A Song with Variations—“While She Rocks the Cradle”—A Serio-Comic Elegy—Reminiscence of Troy—Concerning Vegetarianism—W. C. Bryant as a Humorist—Address “To a Mosquito”—The “Poet” of the “Atlantic”—Bryant’s Travesty—A Rare Pipe—The Human Ear—A Lesson in Acoustics—Amusing Burlesque of Tennyson—Sir Tray; an Arthurian Idyl—All About the “Ologies”—The Variation Humbug—Buggins and the Busy Bee—Comical Singing in Church—The Curse of O’Kelly. | 230 |
Hiberniana. | |
xiiIrish Bulls and Blunders—Miss Edgeworth on the “Bull”—Comical Letter of an Irish “M. P.”—Bulls in Mississippi—American Bulls—The New Jail—A Frenchman’s Blunder—The “Puir Silly Body” who wrote a Book—The “bulls” of Classical Writers—Bulls from every Quarter and of all kinds. | 252 |
Blunders. | |
Slips of the Press—The Bishop Accused of Swearing—The Damp Old Church—From a French Newspaper—The Pig-killing Machine and the Doctor—Slips of the Telegraph—Simmons and the Cranberries—Finishing his Education—The Poets in a Quandary—Blunders of Translators—Rather Gigantic Grasshoppers—“Love’s last Shift”—Amusing Blunder of Voltaire—“A Fortune Cutting Meat”—A New “Translation” of Hamlet—The Frenchman and the Welsh Rabbit. | 259 |
Misquotations. | |
Curious Misquotations of Well-known Authors—Example of Collins—Sir Walter Scott in Error—Blunder of Sir Archibald Alison—Cruikshank as the Real “Simon Pure”—Judge Best’s “Great Mind”—Byron’s Little Mistake. | 266 |
Fabrications. | |
The Description of Christ’s Person a Fabrication—“Detector’s” Charge against Scott—The “Ministering Angel” not a Fabrication—The Moon Hoax—A Literary “Sell”—Carlyle’s Worshippers Outwitted—Mrs. Hemans’ Forgeries—Sheridan’s “Greek”—Spurious Ballads—The Simple Ballad Trick—A Hoax upon Scott—Psalmanazar’s Celebrated Fabrications—Benjamin Franklin’s Parable—The Forgeries of Ireland—Imitations of Shakespeare. | 269 |
Interrupted Sentences. | |
The Judge and the Criminal—“Free from Guile”—Poor Mary “Confined”—Erskine’s “Subscription”—A Satisfactory Note—“Little Hel”—Going to War—The Poet Assisted; the Sun and the Fishes—Giving him the “lie”—De Quincey and the Fiend—Wit in the House of Commons. | 277 |
Echo Verse. | |
xiiiAncient Echo Verses—Address to Queen Elizabeth—London before the Restoration—Echo Song by Addison—A Dutch Pasquinade—The Gospel Echo—Echo and the Lover—Dean Swift’s verses on Women—Buonaparte and the Echo—Fatal Verses—Why Palm, the Publisher, was shot—Remarkable Echoes—A Fatal Confession—Extraordinary facts in Acoustics—Hearing Afar Off. | 281 |
Puzzles. | |
Puzzles defended: their use and value—Exercise for the Mind—Ancient Perplexities—“The Liar”—“Puzzled to Death”—A French rebus—Napoleon Buonaparte’s Cypher—A Queer-looking Proclamation—A curious Puzzle for the Lawyers—Sir Isaac Newton’s Riddle—Cowper’s Riddle—Canning’s Riddle—A Prize Enigma—Quincy’s Comparison—Perplexing Intermarriages—Prophetic Distich—The “Number of the Beast”—Galileo’s Logograph—Persian Riddles—The Chinese Tea Song—Death and Life—The Rebus—What is it?—The Book of Riddles—Bishop Wilberforce’s Riddle—Curiosities of Cipher—Secret Writing—Remarkable Cryptographs. | 290 |
The Reason Why. | |
Why Germans Eat Sauer-Kraut—Why Pennsylvania was Settled—Whence the Huguenots derived their name—How Monarchs Die—Origin of the name of Boston—Concerning Weathercocks—Cutting off with a Shilling—Why Cardinals hats are red—The Roast Beef of England—A Sensible Quack—Who was the first Gentleman—Solution of a Juggler’s Mystery. | 310 |
Weather-Wisdom. | |
Sheridan’s Rhyming Calendar—Sir Humphrey Davy’s Weather Omens—Jenner’s “Signs of the Weather”—“The Shepherd’s Calendar”—Predictions from Birds, Beasts, and Insects—Circles round the Sun and Moon—Quaint Old-time Prophecies—The Evil Days of every Month. | 317 |
O. S. and N. S. | |
The Julian and the Gregorian Calendars—How Cæsar arranged the Calendar—The Julian Year—Going faster than the Sun—Pope Gregory’s Efforts—Origin of the New Style—“Poor Job’s Almanac”—The Loss of Eleven Days—How the matter was Explained. | 325 |
Memoria Technica. | |
xivThe Books of the Old Testament—The Books of the New—Versified helps to Memory—Names of Shakespeare’s Plays—List of English Sovereigns—Names of the Presidents—The Decalogue in verse—Short Metrical Grammar—Number of days in each Month—How Quakers Remember. | 327 |
Origin of Things Familiar. | |
Mind your P’s and Q’s—All Fool’s Day—The First Playing Cards—“Sub Rosa”—“Over the Left”—“Kicking the Bucket”—The Bumper—A Royal Saying—Story of Joe Dun, the Bailiff—The First Humbug—Pasquinade—The First Bottled Ale—The Gardener and the Potatoes—Tarring and Feathering—The Stockings of Former Time—The Order of the Garter—Drinking Healths—A Feather in his Cap—The Word “Book”—Nine Tailors and One Man—“Viz”—Signature of the Cross—The Turkish Crescent—The Postpaid Envelopes of the 17th Century—Who first sang the “Old Hundredth?”—Who wrote the “Marseillaise Hymn?”—Thrilling Story of the French Revolution—The Origin of “Yankee Doodle”—Story of Lucy Locket and Kitty Fisher—How Dutchmen sing “Yankee Doodle”—How the American Flag was chosen—Who was Brother Jonathan? What is known of “Uncle Sam!”—The Dollar Mark [$]: what does it mean?—Bows and Arrows in the Olden Time—All about Guns—The first Insurance Company—The Banks of three Centuries ago—The Invention of Bells—Who first said “Boo!”—Who made the first Clock—The Watches of the Olden Time—All about the Invention of Printing—The first Cock-fights—Meaning of the word “Turncoat”—Who invented Lucifer Matches?—When was the Flag of England first unfurled—Why are Literary ladies called “Blue Stockings?”—Origin of the word “Skedaddle”—How Foolscap Paper got its name—The First Forged Bank-Note—Who made the first “Piano Forte?”—The first Doctors—The first Thanksgiving Proclamation—First Prayer in Congress—The first Reporters—Origin of the word “News”—The Earliest Newspapers—Who sent the first Telegraphic Message. | 331 |
Nothing New Under the Sun. | |
xvFirst idea of the Magnetic Telegraph—Telegraph before Morse—Telegraph a Century Ago—Who made the first Steam Engine?—What Marian de l’Orme saw in the Mad-house—What the Marquis of Worcester Did—Richelieu’s Mistake—Wonderful Invention of James Watt—The first Ocean Steamer—Fulton and the Steam Engine—The first Balloon Ascension—What Franklin said about the Baby—An Inventor’s Mistake—Discovery of the Circulation of the Blood—What is “Anæsthesia?”—How the First Anodynes were made—How Adam’s “Rib” was taken from him—All about the Boomerang—Who Discovered the Centre of Gravity?—The first Rifle—Table-moving and Spirit-rapping in Ancient Times—What is “Auscultation?”—The Stereoscope—Ancient Prediction of the Discovery of America. | 375 |
Triumphs of Ingenuity. | |
How the Planet Neptune was Discovered—Le Verrier’s Wonderful Calculation—The Story of a poor Physician—An Astronomer at Home—How Lescarbault became Famous—The Discovery of the Planet Vulcan—Ingenious Stratagem of Columbus—How an Eclipse was made Useful—Story of King John and the Abbot—A Picture of the Olden Time—Clever Reply to Three Puzzling Questions—The Father Abbot in a Fix. | 395 |
The Fancies of Fact. | |
xviThe Wounds of Julius Cæsar—Some Curious Old Bills—“Mending the Ten Commandments”—Screwing a Horn on the Devil—Gluing a bit on his Tail—Repairing the Virgin Mary before and behind—Making a New Child—Why Bishops and Parsons have no Souls—The Story of a Curious Conversion—Singular Prayer of Lord Ashley—A Moonshine Story of Sir Walter Scott—Do Lawyers tell the Truth?—Patrick Henry’s Little Chapel—The True Form of the Cross—How Poets and Painters have led us astray—Curious Coincidences—How a Bird was Shot with a Stick—How a Musket-shot in the Lungs saved a Man’s life—Mysterious Tin Box found in a Shark’s Stomach—A Curious Card Trick—Which was the right Elizabeth Smith?—How Mrs. Stephens’s Patients were Cured—How a Girl’s Good Memory Caught a Thief—Choosing a Motto for a Sun-dial—Strange Story of a Murdered Man—The Chick in the Egg—Innate Appetite—The Indian and the Tame Snake—Why do Alligators Swallow Stones?—Curious Anecdote about Sheep—Celebrated Journeys on Horseback—A Horse that went to top of St. Peters’ at Rome—A Wonderful Lock—Wonders of Manufacturing—How Iron can be made More Precious than Gold—The Spaniard and his Emeralds—How a Cat was sold for Six Hundred Dollars—Another Cat sold for a Pound of Gold—The amount of Gold in the World—Amount of Treasure collected by David—How much Gold was found in California—What was brought from Australia—The Wealth of Ancient Romans—Wine at Two Million dollars a Bottle or $272 per drop—Who is permitted to drink it—Monster Beer Casks, and who made them—Gigantic Wine-tuns at Heidelberg and Königstein—A Beer-vat in which Two Hundred People Dined—Difference between the English Poets—Perils of Precocity—Children who were too Knowing—What became of 146 Englishmen who were confined in the Black Hole—How the Finns make Barometers of Stone—Singular Bitterness of Strychnia—Something about Salt—Curious Change of Taste—The Children of Israel armed with Guns—Simeon with a pair of “Specs”—Eve in a handsome Flounced Dress—St. Peter and the Tobacco Pipe—Abraham shooting Isaac with a Blunderbuss—The Marriage of Christ with St. Catherine—Cigar-lighters at the Last Supper—Shooting Ducks with a Gun in the Garden of Eden—Wonderful Specimens of Minute Mechanism—Homer in a Nutshell—The Bible in a Walnut—Squaring the Circle—Mathematical Prodigies—Story of a Wonderful Boy—Babbage’s Calculating Machine—Extraordinary Feats of Memory—A Bishop’s Heroism—Silent Compliment. | 406 |
The Fancies of Fact.—Continued. | |
The Exact Dimensions of Heaven—The cost of Solomon’s Temple—The Mystic Numbers “Seven” and “Three”—Curious power of Number Nine—Size of Noah’s Ark and the Great Eastern—About Colors: their Immense Variety—Vast Aerolites, and what they are—Fate of America’s Discoverers—Facts about the Presidents—Value of Queen Victoria’s Jewels—An Army of Women—The Star in the East—Benjamin Franklin’s Court Dress—Extraordinary instances of Longevity—Do Americans live long?—A man who lived more than 200 years—“Quack-quack” and “Bow-wow”—A Marriage Vow of the Olden Time—“Buxum in Bedde and at the Borde”—What came in a dream to Herschel—Singular Facts about Sleep—Curious Chinese Torture—Do Fishes ever Sleep?—How a Bird Grasps his Perch when Asleep—How to gain Seven Years and a half of Life—Effects of Opium and Indian Hemp—Confession of an English Opium-Eater—Strange Effects of Fear—The Thief and the Feathers—The Poisoned Coachman—How a Man Died of Nothing—What Chas. Bell did to the Monkey—A Man with Two Faces—Thrilling Story of a “Broken heart”—No Comfort in being Beheaded—A Man who Spoke after his Head was cut off—A Man who Lived after Sensation was Destroyed—Comical Antipathies—Afraid of Boiled Lobsters—A Fish and a Fever—Why Joseph Scaliger couldn’t Drink Milk—The Man who Ran away from a Cat—About the Cock that Frightened Cæsar—The Two Brothers with One Set of feelings—How Dennis Hendrick won his Strange Bet—Walking Blindfolded—How to Tell the Time by Cats’ Eyes—How a Young Woman was Cured by a Ring—The Story told by a Skull—A Romantic Highway Robber. | 435 |
Singular Customs. | |
xviiThe Coffin on the Table—Queer Mode of Enjoying Oneself—A Beautiful Indian Custom—Why the People of Carazan Murder their Guests—Danger of Being Handsome—How an Evil Spirit was Frightened Away—Beefsteaks from a Live Cow—Compliments Paid to a Bear—How Noses are Made—How Lions are Caught by the Tail—A Picture of High Life Four Centuries Ago—Why Hairs were put in Ancient Seals—Fining People for not Getting Married—A Curious Matrimonial Advertisement. | 477 |
Facetiæ. | |
Odd Titles for a Sham Library—Puns of Tom Hood—The Jests of Hierocles—Curious Letter of Rothschild’s—Some Singularly Short Letters—A Disappointed Lover—“The Happiest Dog Alive”—What Happened Between Abernethy and the Lady—Witty Sayings of Talleyrand—Why Rochester’s Poem was Best—How the Emperor Nicholas was “Sold”—Difference Between “Old Harry” and “Old Nick”—Comical Story of a very Mean Man—Instances of Audacious Boasting—Chas. Mathews and the Silver Spoon—How a King Upset his Inside—Curious Story of Some Relics—What “Topsy’s” Other Name Was—Minding their P’s and Q’s—Practical Jokes of a Russian Jester. | 482 |
Flashes of Repartee. | |
Curran and Sir Boyle Roche—Witty Reply of a Fishwoman—Cobden and the American Lady—Witty Suggestion of Napoleon—Making “Game” of a Lady—The Road that no Peddler ever Traveled—“A Puppy in his Boots!”—A Quaker’s Queer Suggestion—What the Girl said to Curran—A Man who had “never been Weaned”—Ready Wit of Theodore Hook—“Chaff” between Barrow and Rochester—A Windy M. P.—A Clergyman known by his “Walk”—A Man who “had a Right to Speak”—The “Weak Brother” and Tobacco Pipes—Beecher Lecturing for F-A-M-E—Admiral Keppel and the He-Goat—Thackeray and the Beggar-Woman—What Paddy said about “Ayther and Nayther”—Scribe and the French Millionaire—Voltaire and Haller—Why Paddy “Loved her Still”—Bacon and Hogg—“A Most Excellent Judge”—Thackeray Snubbed—Christian Cannibalism—How a Barrister’s Eloquence was Silenced. | 495 |
The Sexes. | |
xviiiMasculine and Feminine Virtues and Vices—Character of the Happy Woman—What Mrs. Jameson said about Women—Old Ballad in Praise of Women—The Two Sexes Compared—What John Randolph said in Praise of Matrimony—Wife; Mistress; or Lady?—St. Leon’s Toast to his Mother. | 501 |
Moslem Wisdom. | |
The Caliph of Bagdad—Shrewd Decision of a Moslem Judge—A Question of Dinner—How the Money was Divided—The Wisdom of Ali—The Prophet’s Judgment: Wisdom and Wealth—Mohammedan Logic—The Foolish Young Man who Fell in Love—Queer Case of Consequential Damages—Sad Blunder of Omar—A Perplexing Turkish Will—The Dervise’s Device. | 508 |
Excerpta from Persian Poetry. | |
Earth an Illusion—Heaven an Echo of Earth—A Moral Atmosphere—Fortune and Worth—Broken Hearts—To a Generous Man—Beauty’s Prerogative—Proud Humility—Folly for Oneself—An Impossibility—Sober Drunkenness—A Wine Drinker’s Metaphors—The Verses of Mirtsa Schaffy—The Unappreciative World—The Caliph and Satan—Curious Dodge of the Devil. | 511 |
Epigrams. | |
xixAn Epigram on Epigrams—Midas and Modern Statesmen—“Come Gentle Sleep”—A Man who Wrote Long Epitaphs—The Fool and the Poet—“Dum Vivimus Vivamus”—Dr. Johnson and Molly Ashton—A Know-Nothing—Epigram on “Our Bed”—On a Late Repentance—A Pale Lady with a Red-Nosed Husband—Snowflakes on a Lady’s Breast—To John Milton—Wesley on Butler—Ridiculous Compliment to Pope—Athol Brose—What is Eternity—Stolen Sermons—Comical Advice to an Author—A Frugal Queen—Man With a Thick Skull—Miss Prue and the Kiss—A Ready-Made Angel—The Lover and the Looking-Glass—A Capricious Friend—A Man who Told “Fibs”—Unlucky End of a Scorpion—The Lawyer and the Novel—A Woman’s Will—Wellington’s Big Nose—The Miser and his Money—On Bad Singing—Old Nick and the Fiddle—Foot-man versus Toe-man—“Hot Corn”—Bonnets of Straw—An “Original Sin” Man—On Writing Verses—Prudent Simplicity—A Friend in Distress—Hog v. Bacon—A Warm Reception—Taking Medical Advice—Definition of a Dentist—Dr. Goodenough’s Sermon—What Might Have Been—A Reflection—The Woman in the Case—How Lawyers are “Keen”—Dux and Drakes—The Parson’s Eyes—“He Didn’t Mean Her”—Affinity Between Gold and Love—The Crier who Could not Cry—The Parson and the Butcher—A Hard Case of Strikes—Coats of Male—The Beaux upon the Quiver—On Burning Widows—Learning Speeches by Heart—A Golden Webb—The Jawbone of an Ass—Walking on her Head—Trendy marriage—Quid Pro Quo—Woman pro and con—Abundance of Fools—The World—“Terminer Sans Oyer”—Seeing Double. | 515 |
Impromptus. | |
Dr. Young and his Eve—How Ben Jonson Paid his Bill—What Melville said to Queen Elizabeth—The “Angel” in the Pew—How Andrew Horner was Cut up—What Hastings Wrote of Burke—Impromptu of Dr. Johnson—Burlesque of Old Ballads—What was “Running in a Lady’s Head”—Improvised Rhymes—Like unto Judas—How the Devil got his Due—The Writing on the Window—“I Thought so Yesterday”—What is Written on the Gates of Hell—Burns’ “Grace before Meat”. | 528 |
Refractory Rhyming. | |
Julianna and the Lozenges—Brougham’s Rhyme for Morris—The French Speculator’s Epitaph—What is a Monogomphe—Rhymes for Month, Chimney, Liquid, Carpet, Window, Garden, Porringer, Orange, Lemon, Pilgrim, Widow, Timbuctoo, Niagara, Mackonochie—Rhyme to Gottingen—The Ingoldsby Legends—Punch’s Funny Rhymes—Chapin’s Rhyme to Brimblecomb—Butler’s Rhyme to Philosopher—A Rhyme to Germany—Hood’s Nocturnal Sketch. | 534 |
Valentines. | |
A Strategic Love-Letter—Love-Letter in Invisible Ink—Secret Invitation Concealed in a Love-Letter—Macaulay’s Essay to Mary C. Stanhope—Love-Verses of Robert Burns—Teutonic Alliteration—Singular Letter in Three Columns—Love-Letter Written in Blood—A Valentine in Many Languages—Practical Joke on a Colored Man—Unpublished Verses of Thomas Moore—An Egyptian Serenade—Petition of Sixteen Maids against the Widows of South Carolina—Unlucky Petition to Madame de Maintenon. | 544 |
Sonnets. | |
How the Fourteen Lines were Written—Sonnet on a Fashionable Church—On the Proxy Saint—About a Nose—On Dyspepsia—Humility—Ave Maria! | 551 |
Conformity of Sense to Sound. | |
xxArticulate Imitation of Inarticulate Sounds—Example from Pope—Milton’s “Lycidas”—From Dyer’s “Ruins of Rome”—Imitations of Time and Motion—“L’Allegro”—Pope’s “Homer”—Dryden’s “Lucretius”—Milton’s “Il Penseroso”—Fine Examples from Virgil—Imitations of Difficulty and Ease. | 554 |
Familiar Quotations from Unfamiliar Sources. | |
“No Cross, no Crown”—“Corporations have no Souls”—“Children of a Larger Growth”—“Consistency a Jewel”—“Cleanliness next to Godliness”—“He’s a Brick”—“When at Rome, do as the Romans”—“Taking Time by the Forelock”—“What will Mrs. Grundy Say?”—“Though Lost to Sight, to Memory Dear”—“Conspicuous by its Absence”—“Do as I Say, not as I Do”—“Honesty the Best Policy”—“Facts are Stubborn Things”—“Comparisons are Odious”—“Dark as Pitch”—“Every Tub on its own Bottom”—Two Pages of Examples, Interesting, Amusing, and Instructive. | 556 |
Churchyard Literature. | |
Epitaphs of Eminent Men—Appropriate and Rare Inscriptions—Franklin’s Epitaph on Himself—Touching Memorials of Children—Historical and Biographical Epitaphs—Self-Written Inscriptions—Advertising Notices—Unique and Ludicrous Epitaphs—Puns in the Churchyard—Puzzling Inscriptions—Parallels Without a Parallel—Bathos—Transcendental Epitaph—Acrostical Inscriptions—Indian, African, Hibernian, Greek Epitaphs—Patchwork Character on a Tombstone—The Printer’s Epitaph—Specimens of Exceedingly Brief Epitaphs—Highly Laudatory Inscriptions—A Chemical Epitaph—On an Architect—On an Orator—On a Watchmaker—On a Miserly Money-Lender—On a Tailor—On a Dancing Master—On an Infidel—On Voltaire—On Hume—On Tom Paine—“Earth to Earth”—Byron’s Inscription on his Dog. | 564 |
Inscriptions. | |
xxiOld English Tavern Sign-Boards—Curious Origin of Absurd Signs—“The Magpie and Crown”—“The Hen and the Razor”—“The Swan-with-two-Necks”—Singular Statement of Sir Joseph Banks—“The Goat and Compasses”—The “Signs” of Puritan Times—A Curious “Reformation”—“The Cat and the Fiddle”—“Satan and the Bag of Nails”—Ancient Signs in Pompeii—The Four Awls and the Grave Morris—The “Queer Door,” and the “Pig and Whistle”—Heraldic Signs of the Middle Ages—“I have a Cunen Fox, &c.”—Versified Inscriptions—Cooper and his “Zwei Glasses”—How a Sign Cost a Man his Life—An Inscription in Four Columns—Beer-Jug Inscriptions—Inscriptions on Window-Panes—Quaint Description of an Inn in the Olden Time—Curious Inscriptions on Bells—Baptising and Anointing Bells—The Great Tom of Oxford—Amusing Old Fly-Leaf Inscriptions—Sun-Dial Inscriptions—Memorial Verses—Francke’s Singular Discovery—Golden Mottoes—“Posies” from Wedding Rings. | 615 |
Parallel Passages. | |
Imitations and Plagiarisms of Authors—Curious Coincidences—Examples from Young, Congreve, Blair, and Shakespeare—Imitations of Otway, Gray, Milton, and Rogers—The Blindness of Homer and Milton—What Hume said of the Clergy—How Praise Becomes Satire—Parallel Passages from the English Poets—Singular Examples from Shakespeare—Shakespeare’s Acquaintance with the Latin Poets—Thoughts Repeated from Age to Age—Which was the True Original?—Historical Similitudes—What Radbod said with his Legs in the Water—Why Wulf, the Goth, wouldn’t be Baptised—Why an Indian Refused to go to Heaven—Curious Choice of a Woman—Last Words of Cardinal Wolsey—Death of Sir James Hamilton—Solomon’s Judgment Repeated—Why two Women Pulled a Child’s Legs—How Napoleon Decided Between two Ladies—The Hindoo Legend of the Weasel and the Babe—The Faithful Dog: a Welsh Ballad—Singular Murder of a Clever Apprentice—Ballads and Legends—Terrible Story of an old Midwife—What a Clergyman did at Midnight—How Genevra was Buried Alive—The Ghost which Appeared to Antonio—Strange Story of a Ring—Death Prophecies—What was done before three Battles—How an Army of Mice Devoured Bishop Hatto. | 640 |
Prototypes. | |
The Oldest Proverb on Record—Curious Wish of an Old Lady—Cinderella’s Slipper—How an Eagle Stole a Shoe, and a King Chose a Wife—Mrs. Caudle’s Curtain Lectures—“The Charge of the Light Brigade”—Dr. Faustus and the Devil—“Blown up” Cushions—What the “Poor Cat i’ the Adage” Did—The Lady with Two Cork Legs—The Pope’s Bull against the Comet—Lincoln “Swapping Horses”—Wooden Nutmegs—Trade Unions Two Centuries Ago—Consequential Damages—The Babies that Never were Born—The Original Shylock—Druidical Excommunication—Fall of Napoleon I.—Lanark and Lodore—The Song of the Bell—Turgot’s Eulogistic Epigraph on Franklin—Origin of the Declaration of Independence—The Know-Nothings—The first Conception of the Pilgrim’s Progress—Did Defoe Write Robinson Crusoe?—Talleyrand’s Famous Saying: Whence?—Mistake about Drinking out of Skulls—Great Literary Plagiarism—Origin of Old Ballads—The Story of the Wandering Jew. | 699 |
Curious Books. | |
xxiiOld Books with Odd Titles—“Shot Aimed at the Devils Headquarters”—“Crumbs of Comfort for the Chickens of the Covenant”—“Eggs of Charity Layed by the Chickens of the Covenant, and Boiled with the Water of Divine Love”—“High-heeled Shoes for Dwarfs in Holiness”—“Hooks and Eyes for Believers’ Breeches”—“Sixpennyworth of Divine Spirit”—“Spiritual Mustard Pot”—“Tobacco Battered and Pipes Shattered”—“News from Heaven”—The Most Curious Book in the World—A Book that was never Written or Printed, but which can be Read—The Silver Book at Upsal—What is a Bibliognoste?—What a Bibliographe?—What a Bibliomane?—What a Bibliophile and a Bibliotaphe? | 720 |
Literariana. | |
The Mystery of the “Letters of Junius”—Who Wrote Them?—What Canning and Macaulay Thought—A Well-kept Secret—Original MS. of Gray’s Elegy—The Omitted Stanzas—Imitations—How Pope Corrected his Manuscript—Importance of Punctuation: Comical Errors—“A Pigeon Making Bread”—How many Nails on a Lady’s Hand—A Comical Petition in Church—The Soldier who Died for want of a Stop—Indian Heraldry—Anachronisms of Shakespeare—King Lear’s Spectacles—The Heroines of Shakespeare—Shakespeare’s Life and Sonnets Compared—Was He Lame?—The Age of Hamlet—Was He Really Mad?—Additional Verses to “Home, Sweet Home”—The Falsities of History—Two Views of Napoleon—Clarence and the Butt of Malmsey—True Character of Richard III—The Name “America” a Fraud—Lexington and the “First Blood Shed”—Eye-Witnesses in Error—Curious Story of Sir Walter Raleigh—The Difference between Wit and Humor—A Rhyming Newspaper—Buskin’s Defence of Book-Lovers—Letters and their Endings—Shrewd Words of Lord Bacon. | 723 |
Literati. | |
xxiiiAccount of some Famous Linguists—A Man who Knew One Hundred and Eleven Languages—A Cardinal of Many Tongues—Elihu Burrito, the Learned Blacksmith—Literary Oddities—Curious Habits of Celebrated Authors—How they have Written their Books—Racine’s Adventure with the Workmen—Luther in his Study—Calvin Scribbling in Bed—Rousseau, Le Sage, and Byron at Work—Fontaine, Pascal, Fénélon, and De Quincey—Whence Bacon Sought Inspiration—Culture and Sacrifice—The Sorrows and Trials of Great Men—Sharon Turner and the Printers—A Stingy Old Scribbler—Dryden and His Publisher—Jacob Tonson’s Rascality; how He Tried to Cheat the Poet. | 756 |
Personal Sketches and Anecdotes. | |
Anecdote of George Washington—What Lafayette said to the King of France—Peculiarities of the Name Napoleon—How Napoleon Remembered Milton at the Dreadful Battle of Austerlitz—The Emperor’s Personal Appearance—His Opinion of Suicide—Benjamin Franklin’s Frugal Wife—Major André and the “Cow-Chase”—An English View of André and Arnold—How the Astronomer Royal Found an Old Woman’s Clothes—The Boy who set Fire to an Empty Bottle—Curious Views of Martin Luther—The Hero of the Reformation—Carlyle’s Translation of Luther’s Hymn—Curious Account of Queen Elizabeth—What She Said to the Troublesome Priest—What was the Real Color of Her Hair?—Was Shakespeare a Christian?—Personal Description of Oliver Cromwell—How Pope’s Skull was Stolen—What Became of Wickliffe’s Ashes—The Folly of Two Astrologers—Anecdotes of Talleyrand—Parson’s Puzzles. | 763 |
Historical Memoranda. | |
The First Blood of the Revolution—The “Tea-Party” at Boston—Tea-Burning at Annapolis—The First American Ships of War—How Quinn Borrowed Twenty Pounds of Shakespeare—Diabolical Proposition of Cotton Mather—A Rod in Pickle for William Penn—How he Escaped—An American Monarchy—Origin of the “Star-Spangled Banner”—Origin of the French Tri-Color—How the Newspapers Changed their Tune—Story of Eugenie’s Flight from France—Rise and Fall of Napoleon III—“L’Empire c’est la Paix”—Jefferson’s Idea of Marie Antoinette—Blücher’s Insanity—The Secret of Queen Isabella’s Daughter—Was Mary Magdalene a Sinner?—The Husband of Mother Goose, and what He Did—History and Fiction: which true?—Verdicts which Posterity have Reversed—Great Events from Little Causes—Why Queen Eleanor Quarreled with her Husband—Story of Queen Anne’s Gloves—How the Flies Helped Forward the Declaration of Independence—The Discovery of America—Story of Annie Laurie—Who was Robin Adair?—Was Joan of Arc Really Burnt?—The Mystery of Amy Robsart’s Death—Anecdotes of William Tell—Who Was He?—“Society” in the Time of Louis XIV—How Cromwell Tricked his Chaplain—The Last Night of the Girondists—Elizabeth, Essex, and the Ring. | 782 |
Much in little. | |
xxivMuch Meaning in Little Space—Coleridge and the Beasts—“Boxes” that Govern the World—“I Cannot Fiddle”—“Like a Potato”—The Vowels in Order—Balzac’s Instance of Self-Respect—Whom do Mankind Pay Best?—Comical Instance of Wrong Emphasis—“Vive la Mort!”—Motto for all Seasons—Curious Grace before Meat. | 823 |
Life and Death. | |
What is Death?—Bishop Heber’s “Voyage of Life”—Curious Poem of Dr. Horne—“The Round of Life”—Hugh Peters’ Legacy to his Daughter—Franklin’s Moral Code—How to Divide Time—Living Life over Again—Rhyming Definitions—What is Earth?—Curious Replies—Rhyming Charter of William the Conquerer—Puzzling Question for the Lawyers—What Rabbi Joshua Told the Emperor—Dying Words of Distinguished Persons—Last Prayer of Mary, Queen of Scots—Extraordinary Case of Trance—Curious Question about Lazarus—Preservation of Dead Bodies—Corpse of a Lady Preserved for Eighty Years—Bodies of English Kings Undecayed for many Centuries—Three Roman Soldiers Preserved “Plump and Fresh” for Fifteen Hundred Years—Bodies Converted into Fat—About Mummies—Wonderful Discovery in an Etruscan Tomb—The Reign of Terror—What Became of the Bodies of the French Kings—Jewish Tombs in the Valley of Hinnom—A Whimsical Will—The Tripod of Life—How Many Kinds of Death there Are—Curious Irish Epitaph—Significance of the Fleur de lis—Death of the First Born—Jean Ingelow’s “Story of Long Ago”—“This is not Your Rest”—Causes of Ill Success in Life—Futurity—Longfellow on “The Heart”—An Evening Prayer—Beautiful Thought—Life’s Parting—Destiny—Sympathy—“After;” Death’s Final Conquest—“There is no Death”—Euthanasia. | 826 |
Alphabetical Whims.
LIPOGRAMMATA AND PANGRAMMATA.

In No. 59 of the Spectator, Addison, descanting on the different species of wit, observes, “The first I shall produce are the Lipogrammatists, or letter droppers of antiquity, that would take an exception, without any reason, against some particular letter in the alphabet, so as not to admit it once in a whole poem. One Tryphiodorus was a great master in this kind of writing. He composed an Odyssey, or Epic Poem, on the adventures of Ulysses, consisting of four-and-twenty-books, having entirely banished the letter A from his first book, which was called Alpha, (as lucus a non lucendo,) because there was not an alpha in it. His second book was inscribed Beta, for the same reason. In short, the poet excluded the whole four-and-twenty letters in their turns, and showed them that he could do his business without them. It must have been very pleasant to have seen this Poet avoiding the reprobate letter as much as another would a false quantity, and making his escape from it, through the different Greek dialects, when he was presented with it in any particular syllable; for the most apt and elegant word in 26the whole language was rejected, like a diamond with a flaw in it, if it appeared blemished with the wrong letter.”
In No. 59 of the Spectator, Addison discusses different types of wit and notes, “The first I’ll mention are the Lipogrammatists, or letter droppers of the past, who would arbitrarily avoid a certain letter in the alphabet, not using it at all in an entire poem. One Tryphiodorus was a master of this style. He wrote an Odyssey, or Epic Poem, about Ulysses' adventures, made up of twenty-four books, entirely excluding the letter A from his first book, which he called Alpha (as light through darkness), because it didn’t contain an A. His second book was titled Beta, for the same reason. In short, the poet eliminated all twenty-four letters in their turn and demonstrated that he could manage without them. It must have been quite entertaining to see this Poet dodging the forbidden letter like someone avoiding a mispronunciation and escaping from it through different Greek dialects whenever it appeared in a syllable; for the most suitable and refined word in the entire language was rejected, like a flawed diamond, if it was stained by the wrong letter.”
In No. 63, Addison has again introduced Tryphiodorus, in his Vision of the Region of False Wit, where he sees the phantom of this poet pursued through the intricacies of a dance by four-and-twenty persons, (representatives of the alphabet,) who are unable to overtake him.
In No. 63, Addison has once more brought in Tryphiodorus, in his Vision of the Region of False Wit, where he sees the ghost of this poet chased through the complexities of a dance by twenty-four people (representatives of the alphabet) who can't catch him.
Addison should, however, have mentioned that Tryphiodorus is kept in countenance by no less an authority than Pindar, who, according to Athenæus, wrote an ode from which the letter sigma was carefully excluded.
Addison should, however, have mentioned that Tryphiodorus is supported by no less an authority than Pindar, who, according to Athenæus, wrote an ode from which the letter sigma was intentionally excluded.
This caprice of Tryphiodorus has not been without its imitators. Peter de Riga, a canon of Rheims, wrote a summary of the Bible in twenty-three sections, and throughout each section omitted, successively, some particular letter.
This whim of Tryphiodorus has had its share of followers. Peter de Riga, a canon from Rheims, created a summary of the Bible in twenty-three sections, and in each section, he left out a specific letter one after the other.
Gordianus Fulgentius, who wrote “De Ætatibus Mundi et Hominis,” has styled his book a wonderful work, chiefly, it may be presumed, from a similar reason; as from the chapter on Adam he has excluded the letter A; from that on Abel, the B; from that on Cain, the C; and so on through twenty-three chapters.
Gordianus Fulgentius, who wrote “On the Ages of the World and Humanity,” has called his book a remarkable work, probably for a similar reason; in the chapter on Adam, he has left out the letter A; in the one on Abel, the letter B; in the chapter on Cain, the letter C; and so on through twenty-three chapters.
Gregorio Letti presented a discourse to the Academy of Humorists at Rome, throughout which he had purposely omitted the letter R, and he entitled it the exiled R. A friend having requested a copy as a literary curiosity, (for so he considered this idle performance,) Letti, to show it was not so difficult a matter, replied by a copious answer of seven pages, in which he observed the same severe ostracism against the letter R.
Gregorio Letti gave a talk to the Academy of Humorists in Rome, during which he intentionally left out the letter R, calling it the exiled R. A friend asked for a copy as a literary oddity, (since he saw this trivial effort as just that,) Letti, to prove it wasn't such a hard task, responded with a detailed reply of seven pages, still avoiding the letter R.
Du Chat, in the “Ducatiana,” says “there are five novels in prose, of Lope de Vega, similarly avoiding the vowels; the first without A, the second without E, the third without I, the fourth without O, and the fifth without U.”
Du Chat, in the “Ducatiana,” says “there are five prose novels by Lope de Vega, each avoiding a specific vowel; the first has no A, the second has no E, the third has no I, the fourth has no O, and the fifth has no U.”
The Orientalists are not without this literary folly. A Persian poet read to the celebrated Jami a ghazel of his own composition, which Jami did not like; but the writer replied it was, notwithstanding, a very curious sonnet, for the letter Aliff was 27not to be found in any of the words! Jami sarcastically answered, “You can do a better thing yet; take away all the letters from every word you have written.”
The Orientalists aren't immune to this literary silliness. A Persian poet read one of his own ghazals to the famous Jami, which Jami didn’t like. However, the poet insisted it was still a very interesting sonnet, since the letter Alif was 27missing from every word! Jami responded sarcastically, “You could do an even better thing; remove all the letters from everything you’ve written.”
This alphabetical whim has assumed other shapes, sometimes taking the form of a fondness for a particular letter. In the Ecloga de Calvis of Hugbald the Monk, all the words begin with a C. In the Nugæ Venales there is a Poem by Petrus Placentius, entitled Pugna Porcorum, in which every word begins with a P. In another performance in the same work, entitled Canum cum cattis certamen, in which “apt alliteration’s artful aid” is similarly summoned, every word begins with a C.
This alphabetical obsession has taken on different forms, sometimes showing a preference for a specific letter. In the Eclogue on Calvus by Hugbald the Monk, all the words start with a C. In the Nugæ Venales, there's a poem by Petrus Placentius called Pig Fight, where every word begins with a P. In another piece from the same work, titled Dog vs. cat contest, “apt alliteration’s artful aid” is also used, with every word starting with a C.
Lord North, one of the finest gentlemen in the Court of James I., has written a set of sonnets, each of which begins with a successive letter of the alphabet. The Earl of Rivers, in the reign of Edward IV., translated the Moral Proverbs of Christiana of Pisa, a poem of about two hundred lines, almost all the words of which he contrived to conclude with the letter E.
Lord North, one of the best gentlemen in the Court of James I, has written a series of sonnets, each starting with the next letter of the alphabet. The Earl of Rivers, during the reign of Edward IV, translated the Moral Proverbs of Christiana of Pisa, a poem of about two hundred lines, almost all of which he managed to end with the letter E.
The Pangrammatists contrive to crowd all the letters of the alphabet into every single verse. The prophet Ezra may be regarded as the father of them, as may be seen by reference to ch. vii., v. 21, of his Book of Prophecies. Ausonius, a Roman poet of the fourth century, whose verses are characterized by great mechanical ingenuity, is fullest of these fancies.
The Pangrammatists manage to include all the letters of the alphabet in every single verse. The prophet Ezra can be considered their founder, as shown in ch. vii., v. 21, of his Book of Prophecies. Ausonius, a Roman poet from the fourth century, known for his clever mechanical skill, is particularly rich in these ideas.
The following sentence of only 48 letters, contains every letter of the alphabet:—John P. Brady, give me a black walnut box of quite a small size.
The following sentence of only 48 letters contains every letter of the alphabet:—John P. Brady, give me a black walnut box of quite a small size.
The stanza subjoined is a specimen of both lipogrammatic and pangrammatic ingenuity, containing every letter of the alphabet except e. Those who remember that e is the most indispensable letter, being much more frequently used than any other,[1] will perceive the difficulty of such composition.
The following stanza is a sample of both lipogram and pangram creativity, using every letter of the alphabet except e. Those who know that e is the most essential letter, used much more often than any other,[1] will see how challenging this kind of writing is.
The Fate of Nassan affords another example, each stanza containing the entire alphabet except e, and composed, as the writer says, with ease without e’s.
The Fate of Nassan provides another example, with each stanza using every letter of the alphabet except for e, and written, as the author mentions, with ease without e’s.
Lord Holland, after reading the five Spanish novels already alluded to, in 1824, composed the following curious example, in which all the vowels except E are omitted:—
Lord Holland, after reading the five Spanish novels mentioned earlier, in 1824, created the following interesting example, where all the vowels except E are left out:—
EVE’S LEGEND.
Men were never perfect; yet the three brethren Veres were ever esteemed, respected, revered, even when the rest, whether the select few, whether the mere herd, were left neglected.
Men were never perfect; yet the three Veres brothers were always valued, respected, and admired, even when everyone else, whether the privileged few or the ordinary crowd, was ignored.
The eldest’s vessels seek the deep, stem the element, get pence; the keen Peter, when free, wedded Hester Green,—the slender, stern, severe, erect Hester Green. The next, clever Ned, less dependent, wedded sweet Ellen Heber. Stephen, ere he met the gentle Eve, never felt tenderness: he kept kennels, bred steeds, rested where the deer fed, went where green trees, where fresh breezes, greeted sleep. There he met the meek, the gentle Eve: she tended her sheep, she ever neglected self: she never heeded pelf, yet she heeded the shepherds even less. Nevertheless, her cheek reddened when she met Stephen; yet decent reserve, meek respect, tempered her speech, even when she shewed tenderness. Stephen felt the sweet effect: he felt he erred when he fled the sex, yet felt he defenceless when Eve seemed tender. She, he reflects, never deserved neglect; she never vented spleen; he esteems her gentleness, her endless deserts; he reverences her steps; he greets her:—
The eldest's ships head out to sea, navigate the waters, and make money; the sharp-minded Peter, when free, married Hester Green—the slender, strict, serious, and upright Hester Green. The next one, clever Ned, less dependent, married sweet Ellen Heber. Stephen, before he met the gentle Eve, never experienced tenderness: he kept kennels, raised horses, rested where the deer grazed, and went where green trees and fresh breezes invited sleep. There he met the meek, gentle Eve: she took care of her sheep, always putting others first: she never cared about money, yet she paid even less attention to the shepherds. Still, her cheeks flushed when she met Stephen; yet her decent reserve and humble respect softened her words, even when she showed tenderness. Stephen felt the sweet impact of it: he realized he had been wrong to avoid women, yet he felt vulnerable when Eve appeared tender. He thinks that she never deserved neglect; she never expressed bitterness; he values her gentleness, her endless merits; he respects her presence; he greets her:—
29“Tell me whence these meek, these gentle sheep,—whence the yet meeker, the gentler shepherdess?”
29“Tell me where these gentle, meek sheep come from—where the even gentler, more meek shepherdess is?”
“Well bred, we were eke better fed, ere we went where reckless men seek fleeces. There we were fleeced. Need then rendered me shepherdess, need renders me sempstress. See me tend the sheep; see me sew the wretched shreds. Eve’s need preserves the steers, preserves the sheep; Eve’s needle mends her dresses, hems her sheets; Eve feeds the geese; Eve preserves the cheese.”
“Well-bred, we were also better fed before we went where reckless men seek their fortunes. There we were taken advantage of. Need then made me a shepherdess; need now makes me a seamstress. Watch me tend the sheep; see me sew the ragged scraps. My need preserves the cattle, maintains the sheep; my needle mends my clothes, hems my sheets; I feed the geese; I take care of the cheese.”
Her speech melted Stephen, yet he nevertheless esteems, reveres her. He bent the knee where her feet pressed the green; he blessed, he begged, he pressed her.
Her speech melted Stephen, yet he still values and respects her. He knelt where her feet touched the grass; he blessed her, he pleaded, he embraced her.
“Sweet, sweet Eve, let me wed thee; be led where Hester Green, where Ellen Heber, where the brethren Vere dwell. Free cheer greets thee there; Ellen’s glees sweeten the refreshment; there severer Hester’s decent reserve checks heedless jests. Be led there, sweet Eve!”
“Sweet, sweet Eve, let me marry you; be guided to where Hester Green, where Ellen Heber, where the Vere brothers live. A warm welcome awaits you there; Ellen’s songs make the refreshments even better; there, Hester’s proper restraint keeps foolish jokes in check. Come with me there, sweet Eve!”
“Never! we well remember the Seer. We went where he dwells—we entered the cell—we begged the decree,—
“Never! we remember the Seer well. We went to where he lives—we entered the cell—we asked for the decree,—
“He rendered the decree; see here the sentence decreed!” Then she presented Stephen the Seer’s decree. The verses were these:—
“He issued the decree; look here at the sentence given!” Then she showed Stephen the Seer’s decree. The verses were these:—
The terms perplexed Stephen, yet he jeered the terms; he resented the senseless credence, “Seers never err.” Then he repented, knelt, wheedled, wept. Eve sees Stephen kneel; she relents, yet frets when she remembers the Seer’s decree. Her dress redeems her. These were the events:—
The terms confused Stephen, but he mocked them; he hated the foolish belief that “Seers never make mistakes.” Then he regretted it, knelt down, begged, and cried. Eve sees Stephen kneeling; she softens, but feels uneasy when she thinks about the Seer’s ruling. Her dress saves her. These were the events:—
Her well-kempt tresses fell; sedges, reeds, bedecked them. The reeds fell, the edges met her cheeks; her cheeks bled. She presses the green sedge where her check bleeds. Red then bedewed the green reed, the green reed then speckled her red cheek. The red cheek seems green, the green reed seems red. These were e’en the terms the Eld Seer decreed Stephen Vere.
Her well-groomed hair fell, adorned with sedges and reeds. The reeds touched her cheeks, which bled. She pressed the green sedge against her bleeding cheek. Red then stained the green reed, and the green reed became dotted with her red blood. The red cheek looked green, and the green reed appeared red. These were indeed the words that the Elder Seer declared about Stephen Vere.
ALPHABETICAL ADVERTISEMENT.
TO WIDOWERS AND SINGLE GENTLEMEN.—WANTED by a lady, a SITUATION to superintend the household and preside at table. She is Agreeable, Becoming, Careful, Desirable, English, Facetious, Generous, Honest, Industrious, 30Judicious, Keen, Lively, Merry, Natty, Obedient, Philosophic, Quiet, Regular, Sociable, Tasteful, Useful, Vivacious, Womanish, Xantippish, Youthful, Zealous, &c. Address X. Y. Z., Simmond’s Library, Edgeware-road.—London Times, 1842.
TO WIDOWERS AND SINGLE GENTLEMEN.—WANTED by a lady, a POSITION to manage the household and serve at the dinner table. She is Pleasant, Attractive, Careful, Desirable, British, Humorous, Generous, Honest, Hardworking, Wise, Sharp, Energetic, Cheerful, Neat, Obedient, Thoughtful, Calm, Organized, Friendly, Stylish, Helpful, Lively, Feminine, Strong-willed, Youthful, Enthusiastic, etc. Contact X. Y. Z., Simmond’s Library, Edgeware-road.—London Times, 1842.
JACOBITE TOAST.
The following remarkable toast is ascribed to Lord Duff, and was presented on some public occasion in the year 1745.
The following impressive toast is attributed to Lord Duff and was delivered at a public event in 1745.
A. B. C. | A Blessed Change. |
D. E. F. | Down Every Foreigner. |
G. H. J. | God Help James. |
K. L. M. | Keep Lord Marr. |
N. O. P. | Noble Ormond Preserve. |
Q. R. S. | Quickly Resolve Stewart. |
T. U. V. W. | Truss Up Vile Whigs. |
X. Y. Z. | ’Xert Your Zeal. |
THE THREE INITIALS.
The following couplet, in which initials are so aptly used, was written on the alleged intended marriage of the Duke of Wellington, at a very advanced age, with Miss Angelina Burdett Coutts, the rich heiress:—
The following couplet, where initials are cleverly used, was written about the rumored marriage of the Duke of Wellington, at a quite old age, to Miss Angelina Burdett Coutts, the wealthy heiress:—
ENIGMAS.
The letter E is thus enigmatically described:—
The letter E is described in a puzzling way:—
The letter M is concealed in the following Latin enigma by an unknown author of very ancient date:
The letter M is hidden in the following Latin puzzle by an unknown author from long ago:
THE LETTER H.
The celebrated enigma on the letter H, commonly attributed to Lord Byron,[2] is well known. The following amusing petition is addressed by this letter to the inhabitants of Kidderminster, England—Protesting:
The famous mystery about the letter H, often linked to Lord Byron,[2] is widely recognized. The amusing request below is directed at the people of Kidderminster, England—Protesting:
Rowland Hill, when at college, was remarkable for the frequent wittiness of his observations. In a conversation on the powers of the letter H, in which it was contended that it was no letter, but a simple aspiration or breathing, Rowland took the opposite side of the question, and insisted on its being, to all intents and purposes, a letter; and concluded by observing that, if it were not, it was a very serious affair to him, as it would occasion his being ILL all the days of his life.
Rowland Hill, while in college, was known for the frequent cleverness of his comments. During a discussion about the letter H, where some argued it wasn’t actually a letter but just a breathy sound, Rowland took the opposing view and emphasized that it was, for all practical purposes, a letter. He finished by saying that if it weren’t, it would be a very serious issue for him, as it would mean he would be ILL every day of his life.
When Kohl, the traveller, visited the Church of St. Alexander Nevskoi, at St. Petersburg, his guide, pointing to a corner of the building, said, “There lies a Cannibal.” Attracted to the tomb by this strange announcement, Kohl found from the inscription that it was the Russian general Hannibal; but as the Russians have no H,[3] they change the letter into K; and hence the strange misnomer given to the deceased warrior.
When Kohl, the traveler, visited the Church of St. Alexander Nevskoi in St. Petersburg, his guide pointed to a corner of the building and said, “There lies a Cannibal.” Intrigued by this odd statement, Kohl discovered from the inscription that it was the Russian general Hannibal; but since the Russians don't have an H,[3] they replace it with a K; and that’s how the deceased warrior ended up with such a strange nickname.
32A city knight, who was unable to aspirate the H, on being deputed to give King William III. an address of welcome, uttered the following equivocal compliment:—
32A city knight, who couldn't pronounce the H, when asked to give King William III. a welcoming speech, said the following ambiguous compliment:—
“Future ages, recording your Majesty’s exploits, will pronounce you to have been a Nero!”
“Future generations, documenting your Majesty’s achievements, will declare you to have been a Nero!”
Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line in her song, Kathleen Mavourneen, for the express purpose of confounding the cockney warblers, who sing it thus:—
Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line in her song, Kathleen Mavourneen, specifically to confuse the cockney singers, who perform it like this:—
Moore has laid the same trap in the Woodpecker:—
Moore has set the same trap in the Woodpecker:—
And the elephant confounds them the other way:—
And the elephant confuses them the other way:—
ON THE MARRIAGE OF A LADY TO A GENTLEMAN NAMED GEE
ON SENDING A PAIR OF GLOVES.
UNIVOCALIC VERSES.
A.—THE RUSSO-TURKISH WAR.
E.—Eve's Downfall.
I.—Evening is coming.
O.—UNDENIABLE FACTS.
U.—THE SAME TOPIC, CONTINUED.
A young English lady, on observing a gentleman’s lane newly planted with lilacs, made this neat impromptu:—
A young English woman, noticing a gentleman’s path newly planted with lilacs, came up with this clever remark:—
ALPHABETICAL ALLITERATION.
THE SIEGE OF BELGRADE.
THE BUNKER HILL MONUMENT CELEBRATION.
PRINCE CHARLES PROTECTED BY FLORA MACDONALD.
CACOPHONOUS COUPLET ON CARDINAL WOLSEY.
ADDRESS TO THE AURORA, WRITTEN IN MID-OCEAN.
Pulci, in his Morgante Maggiore, xxiii. 47, gives the following remarkable double alliterations, two of them in every line:—
Pulci, in his Morgante Maggiore, xxiii. 47, presents the following striking double alliterations, two in each line:—
In the imitation of Laura Matilda, in the Rejected Addresses occurs this stanza:—
In the imitation of Laura Matilda, in the Rejected Addresses there is this stanza:—
TITLE-PAGE FOR A BOOK OF EXTRACTS FROM MANY AUTHORS.
COMPLIMENTARY CONSIDERATIONS CONCERNING CHESS.
Cherished chess! The charms of thy checkered chambers chain me changelessly. Chaplains have chanted thy charming choiceness; chieftains have changed the chariot and the chase for the chaster chivalry of the chess-board, and the cheerier charge of the chess-knights. Chaste-eyed Caissa! For thee are the chaplets of chainless charity and the chalice of childlike cheerfulness. No chilling churl, no cheating chafferer, no chattering changeling, no chanting charlatan can be thy champion; the chivalrous, the charitable, and the cheerful are the chosen ones thou cherishest. Chance cannot change thee: from the cradle of childhood to the charnel-house, from our first childish chirpings to the chills of the churchyard, thou art our cheery, changeless chieftainess. Chastener of the churlish, chider of the changeable, cherisher of the chagrined, the chapter of thy chiliad of charms should be chanted in cherubic chimes by choicest choristers, and chiselled on chalcedon in cherubic chirography.
Beloved chess! The allure of your checkered board captivates me endlessly. Priests have praised your delightful uniqueness; leaders have traded their horses and hunts for the nobler honor of the chessboard and the joyful challenge of the chess knights. Pure-eyed Caissa! For you are the crown of boundless charity and the cup of childlike joy. No cold miser, no dishonest trader, no noisy pretender, no singing fraud can be your champion; only the brave, the kind, and the joyful are the ones you cherish. Luck cannot change you: from the cradle of childhood to the grave, from our first innocent giggles to the silence of the cemetery, you are our joyful, unchanging leader. You correct the rude, scold the fickle, and comfort the unhappy; the story of your thousand charms should be sung in angelic tones by the finest choirs and carved on stone in heavenly writing.
38Hood, in describing the sensations of a dramatist awaiting his debut, thus uses the letter F in his Ode to Perry:—
38Hood, in describing the feelings of a playwright waiting for his first performance, uses the letter F in his Ode to Perry:—
The repetition of the same letter in the following is very ingenious:—
The repetition of the same letter in the following is very clever:—
FELICITOUS FLIGHT OF FANCY.
“A famous fish-factor found himself father of five flirting females—Fanny, Florence, Fernanda, Francesca, and Fenella. The first four were flat-featured, ill-favored, forbidding-faced, freckled frumps, fretful, flippant, foolish, and flaunting. Fenella was a fine-featured, fresh, fleet-footed fairy, frank, free, and full of fun. The fisher failed, and was forced by fickle fortune to forego his footman, forfeit his forefathers’ fine fields, and find a forlorn farm-house in a forsaken forest. The four fretful females, fond of figuring at feasts in feathers and fashionable finery, fumed at their fugitive father. Forsaken by fulsome, flattering fortune-hunters, who followed them when first they flourished, Fenella fondled her father, flavored their food, forgot her flattering followers, and frolicked in a frieze without flounces. The father, finding himself forced to forage in foreign parts for a fortune, found he could afford a faring to his five fondlings. The first four were fain to foster their frivolity with fine frills and fans, fit to finish their father’s finances; Fenella, fearful of flooring him, formed a fancy for a full fresh flower. Fate favored the fish-factor for a few days, when he fell in with a fog; his faithful Filley’s footsteps faltered, and food failed. He found himself in front of a fortified fortress. Finding it forsaken, and feeling himself feeble, and forlorn with fasting, he fed on the fish, flesh, and fowl he found, fricasseed, and when full fell flat on the floor. Fresh in the forenoon, he forthwith flew to the fruitful fields, and not forgetting Fenella, he filched a fair flower; when a foul, frightful, fiendish figure flashed forth: ‘Felonious fellow, fingering my flowers, I’ll finish you! Fly; say farewell to your fine felicitous family, and face me in a fortnight!’ The faint-hearted fisher fumed and faltered, and fast and far was his flight. His five daughters flew to fall at his feet and fervently felicitate him. Frantically and fluently he unfolded his fate. Fenella, forthwith fortified by filial fondness, followed her father’s footsteps, and flung her faultless form at the foot of the frightful figure, who forgave the father, and fell flat on his face, for he had fervently fallen in a fiery fit of love for the fair Fenella. He feasted her till, fascinated by his faithfulness, she forgot the ferocity of his face, form, 39and features, and frankly and fondly fixed Friday, fifth of February, for the affair to come off. There was festivity, fragrance, finery, fireworks, fricasseed frogs, fritters, fish, flesh, fowl, and frumentry, frontignac, flip, and fare fit for the fastidious; fruit, fuss, flambeaux, four fat fiddlers and fifers; and the frightful form of the fortunate and frumpish fiend fell from him, and he fell at Fenella’s feet a fair-favored, fine, frank, freeman of the forest. Behold the fruits of filial affection.”
A well-known fish merchant found himself the father of five charming daughters—Fanny, Florence, Fernanda, Francesca, and Fenella. The first four were plain-looking, awkward, and freckled, always complaining, acting silly, and showing off. Fenella was beautiful, lively, quick on her feet, honest, carefree, and full of fun. The merchant struggled and, thanks to unreliable luck, had to let go of his servant, lose his ancestors’ valuable land, and find a desolate farmhouse in an abandoned forest. The four complaining girls, who loved to dress up in fancy clothes for parties, were irritated with their absent father. Abandoned by insincere suitors who only cared about them when they were prosperous, Fenella took care of her father, made their meals better, forgot about her former admirers, and played in a simple tunic without frills. The father, compelled to search in distant places for a living, found he could manage to provide for his five beloved daughters. The first four were eager to feed their desire for luxury with extravagant items, which could drain their father’s savings; Fenella, worried about embarrassing him, wanted a fresh flower. Luck smiled on the fish merchant for a few days until he got caught in a thick fog; his loyal horse stumbled, and they ran out of food. He came face-to-face with a fortified castle. Finding it abandoned and feeling weak and lonely from hunger, he ate the fish, meat, and poultry he found, cooked it up, and when full, collapsed on the floor. Refreshed in the morning, he immediately headed to the lush fields, and not forgetting Fenella, he snatched a beautiful flower; suddenly, a terrifying figure appeared: “Criminal, stealing my flowers, I’ll take you out! Run; say goodbye to your delightful family, and face me in two weeks!” The cowardly merchant was angry and hesitated, and he fled quickly and far. His five daughters ran to him and eagerly congratulated him. He hurriedly and passionately explained what had happened. Fenella, strengthened by her love for her father, followed in his footsteps and threw her perfect self at the feet of the terrifying figure, who forgave the father and collapsed face first, having fallen madly in love with beautiful Fenella. He treated her to a feast until, charmed by his loyalty, she forgot how fierce he looked, and they set the date for their wedding: Friday, February 5th. There was celebration, delightful scents, beautiful clothes, fireworks, fried frogs, fritters, fish, meat, poultry, grains, sweet wine, cocktails, and a spread fit for the picky eaters; fruits, excitement, torches, and four talented musicians; and the frightening figure of the fortunate and awkward man transformed, and he fell at Fenella’s feet as an attractive, honest, free man of the forest. Behold the rewards of familial love.
A BEVY OF BELLES.
The following lines are said to have been admirably descriptive of the five daughters of an English gentleman, formerly of Liverpool;—
The following lines are said to have perfectly described the five daughters of an English gentleman, who was previously from Liverpool;—
MOTIVES TO GRATITUDE.
A remarkable example of the old fondness for antithesis and alliteration in composition, is presented in the following extract from one of Watts’ sermons:—
A great example of the old love for contrasts and catchy phrases in writing can be seen in the following excerpt from one of Watts' sermons:—
The last great help to thankfulness is to compare various circumstances and things together. Compare, then, your sorrows with your sins; compare your mercies with your merits; compare your comforts with your calamities; compare your own troubles with the troubles of others; compare your sufferings with the sufferings of Christ Jesus, your Lord; compare the pain of your afflictions with the profit of them; compare your chastisements on earth with condemnation in hell; compare the present hardships you bear with the happiness you expect hereafter, and try whether all these will not awaken thankfulness.
The final big boost to gratitude is to compare different situations and things. So, compare your sorrows with your sins; compare your blessings with your good deeds; compare your comforts with your struggles; compare your own problems with the problems of others; compare your sufferings with the sufferings of Christ Jesus, your Lord; compare the pain of your struggles with the benefits they bring; compare your hardships on earth with the punishment in hell; compare the challenges you face now with the happiness you hope for later, and see if all this doesn’t inspire thankfulness.
ACROSTICS.
The acrostic, though an old and favorite form of verse, in our own language has been almost wholly an exercise of ingenuity, and has been considered fit only for trivial subjects, to be classed among nugæ literariæ. The word in its derivation includes various artificial arrangements of lines, and many fantastic conceits have been indulged in. Generally the acrostic has been formed of the first letters of each line; sometimes of the last; sometimes of both; sometimes it is to be read downward, 40sometimes upward. An ingenious variety called the Telestich, is that in which the letters beginning the lines spell a word, while the letters ending the lines, when taken together, form a word of an opposite meaning, as in this instance:—
The acrostic, while an old and popular type of poetry, has mostly just been a fun challenge in our language, seen as suitable only for light topics, categorized among literary bits. The term itself involves various creative line arrangements, and many whimsical ideas have been explored. Typically, the acrostic is created using the first letters of each line; sometimes it uses the last letters, or both; sometimes it reads downwards, and at other times, it reads upwards. A clever variation called the Telestich involves the starting letters of the lines spelling one word, while the ending letters combine to form a word with an opposing meaning, like in this case:—
U | nite and untie are the same—so say yo | U. |
N | ot in wedlock, I ween, has this unity bee | N. |
I | n the drama of marriage each wandering gou | T |
T | o a new face would fly—all except you and | I— |
E | ach seeking to alter the spell in their scen | E. |
In these lines, on the death of Lord Hatherton, (1863), the initial and final letters are doubled:—
In these lines, about the death of Lord Hatherton, (1863), the first and last letters are repeated:—
H | ard was his final fight with ghastly Deat | h, |
H | e bravely yielded his expiring breat | h. |
A | s in the Senate fighting freedom’s ple | a, |
A | nd boundless in his wisdom as the se | a. |
T | he public welfare seeking to direc | t, |
T | he weak and undefended to protec | t. |
H | is steady course in noble life from birt | h, |
H | as shown his public and his private wort | h. |
E | vincing mind both lofty and sedat | e, |
E | ndowments great and fitted for the Stat | e, |
R | eceiving high and low with open doo | r, |
R | ich in his bounty to the rude and poo | r. |
T | he crown reposed in him the highest trus | t, |
T | o show the world that he was wise and jus | t. |
O | n his ancestral banners long ag | o, |
O | urs willingly relied, and will do s | o. |
N | or yet extinct is noble Hatherto | n, |
N | ow still he lives in gracious Littleto | n. |
Although the fanciful and trifling tricks of poetasters have been carried to excess, and acrostics have come in for their share of satire, the origin of such artificial poetry was of a higher dignity. When written documents, were yet rare, every artifice was employed to enforce on the attention or fix on the memory the verses sung by bards or teachers. Alphabetic associations formed obvious and convenient aids for this purpose. In the Hebrew Psalms of David, and in other parts of Scripture, striking specimens occur. The peculiarity is not retained in the translations, but is indicated in the common 41version of the 119th Psalm by the initial letters prefixed to its divisions. The Greek Anthology also presents examples of acrostics, and they were often used in the old Latin language. Cicero, in his treatise “De Divinatione,” has this remarkable passage:—“The verses of the Sybils (said he) are distinguished by that arrangement which the Greeks call Acrostic; where, from the first letters of each verse in order, words are formed which express some particular meaning; as is the case with some of Ennius’s verses, the initial letters of which make ‘which Ennius wrote!’”
Although the fanciful and trivial tricks of amateur poets have been taken too far, and acrostics have faced their share of criticism, the origin of such artificial poetry was much more respectable. When written documents were still rare, every possible device was used to grab attention or help remember the verses sung by bards or teachers. Alphabetical associations provided clear and useful aids for this purpose. In the Hebrew Psalms of David and other parts of Scripture, there are striking examples. This uniqueness isn’t preserved in translations but is indicated in the common version of the 119th Psalm by the initial letters added to its sections. The Greek Anthology also has examples of acrostics, which were frequently used in ancient Latin. Cicero, in his work “De Divinatione,” includes this notable passage: “The verses of the Sibyls (he said) are marked by that arrangement which the Greeks call Acrostic; where, from the first letters of each verse in order, words are formed that convey a particular meaning; as seen in some of Ennius’s verses, where the initial letters spell out ‘which Ennius wrote!’”
Among the modern examples of acrostic writing, the most remarkable may be found in the works of Boccaccio. It is a poem of fifty cantos, of which Guinguenè has preserved a specimen in his Literary History of Italy.
Among the modern examples of acrostic writing, the most remarkable can be found in the works of Boccaccio. It is a poem of fifty cantos, of which Guinguenè has preserved a sample in his Literary History of Italy.
A successful attempt has recently been made to use this form of verse for conveying useful information and expressing agreeable reflections, in a volume containing a series of acrostics on eminent names, commencing with Homer, and descending chronologically to our own time. The alphabetic necessity of the choice of words and epithets has not hindered the writer from giving distinct and generally correct character to the biographical subjects, as may be seen in the following selections, which are as remarkable for the truth and discrimination of the descriptions as for the ingenuity of the diction:
A successful effort has recently been made to use this type of verse to share useful information and express pleasant thoughts, in a book featuring a series of acrostics on famous names, starting with Homer and moving chronologically to our own time. The need to follow the alphabet in choosing words and descriptors hasn’t stopped the writer from giving clear and mostly accurate portrayals of the biographical subjects, as can be seen in the following selections, which are notable for both the accuracy and insight of the descriptions as well as the creativity of the language:
GEORGE HERBERT.
DRYDEN.
REYNOLDS.
BURKE.
HUBER.
CRABBE.
WALTER SCOTT.
WORDSWORTH.
IRVING.
MACREADY.
LONGFELLOW.
SOUTHEY.
MACAULAY.
OLIVER’S IMPROMPTU.
Oliver, a sailor and patriot, with a merited reputation for extempore rhyming, while on a visit to his cousin Benedict Arnold, after the war, was asked by the latter to amuse a party of English officers with some extemporaneous effusion, whereupon he stood up and repeated the following Ernulphus curse, which would have satisfied Dr. Slop[4] himself:—
Oliver, a sailor and patriot known for his ability to make up rhymes on the spot, was visiting his cousin Benedict Arnold after the war. Arnold asked him to entertain a group of English officers with some spontaneous poetry. In response, Oliver stood up and recited the following Ernulphus curse, which would have impressed Dr. Slop[4] himself:—
ALLITERATIVE ACROSTIC.
The following alliterative acrostic is a gem in its way. Miss Kitty Stephens was the celebrated London vocalist, and is now the Dowager Countess of Essex:—
The following alliterative acrostic is a gem in its own right. Miss Kitty Stephens was the famous London singer and is now the Dowager Countess of Essex:—
CHRONOGRAMMATIC PASQUINADE.
On the election of Pope Leo X., in 1440, the following satirical acrostic appeared, to mark the date
On the election of Pope Leo X in 1440, the following satirical acrostic was published to commemorate the date.
MONASTIC VERSE.
The merit of this fine specimen will be found in its being at the same time acrostic, mesostic, and telestic.
The value of this excellent example lies in its being both acrostic, mesostic, and telestic at the same time.
In the midst of everything shining | I ignite the stars in the sky |
Expel the darkness | E to the sun as the world; |
Removes blind spots | JESUS, shadow of darkness |
Vivifying together | Vero precordial motion, |
Scale of justice | Sese probar ser felizS. |
The following translation preserves the acrostic and mesostic, though not the telestic form of the original:—
The following translation keeps the acrostic and mesostic, but not the telestic form of the original:—
In glory see the rising sun, | Illustrious orb of day, |
Enlightening heaven’s wide expanse, | Expel night’s gloom away. |
So light into the darkest soul, | JESUS, Thou dost impart, |
Uplifting Thy life-giving smiles | Upon the deadened heart: |
Sun Thou of Righteousness Divine, | Sole King of Saints Thou art. |

The figure of a FISH carved on many of the monuments in the Roman Catacombs, is an emblematic acrostic, intended formerly to point out the burial-place of a Christian, without revealing the fact to the pagan persecutors. The Greek word for fish is Ιχθῦς, which the Christians understood to mean Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Saviour,—the letters forming the initials of the following Greek words:—
The image of a FISH carved on many monuments in the Roman Catacombs serves as a symbolic acrostic, originally meant to indicate the burial site of a Christian without alerting pagan persecutors. The Greek word for fish is Pisces, which Christians interpreted as Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Saviour, derived from the initials of these Greek words:—
Jesus |
Jesus |
Χριστός |
Christ, |
Θεός |
of God, |
Son |
Son, |
Savior |
Saviour. |
NAPOLEON FAMILY.
The names of the male crowned heads of the extinct Napoleon dynasty form a remarkable acrostic:—
The names of the male rulers from the now-extinct Napoleon dynasty create an impressive acrostic:—
RACHEL.
Rachel, on one occasion, received a most remarkable present. It was a diadem, in antique style, adorned with six jewels. The stones were so set as to spell, in acrostic style, the name of the great artiste, and also to signify six of her principal rôles, thus:
Rachel, one time, got a truly amazing gift. It was a diadem, styled in an antique way, decorated with six jewels. The stones were arranged to spell out, in an acrostic manner, the name of the great artist, and also to represent six of her main roles, like this:
R uby, | R oxana, |
A methyst, | A menaide, |
C ornelian, | C amille, |
H ematite, | H ermione, |
E merald, | E milie, |
L apis Lazuli, | L aodice. |
This mode of constructing a name or motto by the initial letters of gems was formerly fashionable on wedding rings.
This way of creating a name or motto using the first letters of gems used to be popular on wedding rings.
MASONIC MEMENTO.
The following curious memento was written in the early part of last century:—
The following interesting keepsake was written in the early part of the last century:—
Which is explained thus:—
Which is explained as follows:—
Masonry, of things, teaches how to attain their just | Magnitude. |
To inordinate affections the art of | Moderation. |
It inspires the soul with true | Magnanimity. |
It also teaches us | Affability. |
To love each other with true | Affection. |
And to pay to things sacred a just | Attention. |
It instructs us how to keep | Silence, |
To maintain | Secrecy, |
And preserve | Security; |
Also, to whom it is due, | Obedience, |
To observe good | Order, |
And a commendable | Œconomy. |
It likewise teaches us how to be worthily | Noble, |
Truly | Natural, |
And without reserve | Neighborly. |
It instils principles indisputably | Rational, |
And forms in us a disposition | Reciprocative, |
And | Receptive. |
It makes us, to things indifferent, | Yielding, |
To what is absolutely necessary, perfectly | Ypight, |
And to do all that is truly good, most willingly | Yare. |
HEMPE.
Bacon says, “The trivial prophecy which I heard when I was a child and Queen Elizabeth was in the flower of her years was—
Bacon says, “The trivial prophecy that I heard when I was a child and Queen Elizabeth was in her prime was—
whereby it was generally conceived that after the sovereigns had reigned which had the letters of that word HEMPE, (which were Henry, Edward, Mary, Philip, Elizabeth,) England should come to utter confusion; which, thanks be to God, is verified in the change of the name, for that the King’s style is now no more of England, but of Britain.”
where it was widely believed that after the rulers who had the letters of that word HEMPE (Henry, Edward, Mary, Philip, Elizabeth) had reigned, England would fall into complete chaos; which, thank God, is proved by the change of name, since the King’s title is now no longer of England, but of Britain.
THE BREVITY OF HUMAN LIFE.
A VALENTINE.
The reader, by taking the first letter of the first of the following lines, the second letter of the second line, the third of the third, and so on to the end, can spell the name of the lady to whom they were addressed by Edgar A. Poe.
The reader, by taking the first letter of the first line, the second letter of the second line, the third of the third, and so on until the end, can spell the name of the lady to whom Edgar A. Poe addressed his work.
ANAGRAMS.
Camden, in a chapter in his Remains, on this frivolous and now almost obsolete intellectual exercise, defines Anagrams to 50be a dissolution of a name into its letters, as its elements; and a new connection into words is formed by their transposition, if possible, without addition, subtraction, or change of the letters: and the words should make a sentence applicable to the person or thing named. The anagram is complimentary or satirical; it may contain some allusion to an event, or describe some personal characteristic. Thus, Sir Thomas Wiat bore his own designation in his name:—
Camden, in a chapter of his Remains, on this trivial and now nearly outdated intellectual activity, defines anagrams as a breakdown of a name into its letters, which serve as its components; and a new arrangement into words is created by rearranging them, if possible, without adding, removing, or changing the letters: and the words should form a sentence relevant to the person or thing referred to. The anagram can be complimentary or sarcastic; it may reference an event or describe a personal trait. For example, Sir Thomas Wiat had his own name represented in his designation:—
Astronomer may be made Moon-starer, and Telegraph, Great Help. Funeral may be converted into Real Fun, and Presbyterian may be made Best in prayer. In stone may be found tones, notes, or seton; and (taking j and v as duplicates of i and u) the letters of the alphabet may be arranged so as to form the words back, frown’d, phlegm, quiz, and Styx. Roma may be transposed into amor, armo, Maro, mora, oram, or ramo. The following epigram occurs in a book printed in 1660:
Astronomer can become Moon-starer, and Telegraph, Great Help. Funeral can turn into Real Fun, and Presbyterian can be made Best in prayer. Inside stone, you can find tones, notes, or seton; and (treating j and v as duplicates of i and u) you can arrange the letters of the alphabet to create the words back, frown’d, phlegm, quiz, and Styx. Rome can be rearranged into love, armo, Maro, mora, oram, or branch. The following epigram appears in a book printed in 1660:
It is said that the cabalists among the Jews were professed anagrammatists, the third part of their art called themuru (changing) being nothing more than finding the hidden and mystical meaning in names, by transposing and differently combining the letters of those names. Thus, of the letters of Noah’s name in Hebrew, they made grace; and of the Messiah they made he shall rejoice.
It is said that the cabalists among the Jews were skilled in anagrams, and the third part of their art called themuru (changing) was simply about uncovering the hidden and mystical meanings in names by rearranging and combining the letters in different ways. For example, from the letters of Noah’s name in Hebrew, they created grace; and from Messiah, they formed he shall rejoice.
Lycophron, a Greek writer who lived three centuries before the Christian era, records two anagrams in his poem on the siege of Troy entitled Cassandra. One is on the name of Ptolemy Philadelphus, in whose reign Lycophron lived:—
Lycophron, a Greek writer who lived three centuries before the Christian era, records two anagrams in his poem about the siege of Troy titled Cassandra. One is based on the name of Ptolemy Philadelphus, during whose reign Lycophron lived:—
The other is on Ptolemy’s queen, Arsinoë:—
The other is about Ptolemy’s queen, Arsinoë:—
51Eustachius informs us that this practice was common among the Greeks, and gives numerous examples; such, for instance, as the transposition of the word Αρετη, virtue, into Ερατη, lovely.
51Eustachius tells us that this practice was common among the Greeks and provides several examples; for instance, the rearrangement of the word Virtue, meaning virtue, into Ερατή, meaning lovely.
Owen, the Welsh epigrammatist, sometimes called the British Martial, lived in the golden age of anagrammatism. The following are fair specimens of his ingenuity:—
Owen, the Welsh poet known for his clever sayings, sometimes referred to as the British Martial, lived during the peak of anagram creation. Here are some good examples of his creativity:—
Galenus - Angelus.
De Fide—Five-part Anagram.
Brevitas—Triple Anagram.
In a New Help to Discourse, 12mo, London, 1684, occurs an anagram with a very quaint epigrammatic “exposition:”—
In a New Help to Discourse, 12mo, London, 1684, there is an anagram with a very clever epigrammatic “exposition:”—
TOAST—A SOTT.
Cotton Mather was once described as distinguished for—
Cotton Mather was once described as distinguished for—
Sylvester, in dedicating to his sovereign his translation of Du Bartas, rings the following loyal change on the name of his liege:—
Sylvester, while dedicating his translation of Du Bartas to his ruler, makes the following loyal play on the name of his king:—
Of the poet Waller, the old anagrammatist said:—
Of the poet Waller, the old anagram maker said:—
The author of an extraordinary work on heraldry was thus expressively complimented:—
The author of an amazing book on heraldry was therefore highly praised:—
52The following on the name of the mistress of Charles IX. of France is historically true:—
52The following about the mistress of Charles IX of France is historically accurate:—
In the assassin of Henry III.,
In the assassination of Henry III.,
they discovered
they found
The French appear to have practised this art with peculiar facility. A French poet, deeply in love, in one day sent his mistress, whose name was Magdelaine, three dozen of anagrams on her single name.
The French seem to have mastered this art with unique ease. A French poet, deeply in love, sent his mistress, named Magdelaine, three dozen anagrams of her name in just one day.
The father Pierre de St. Louis became a Carmelite monk on discovering that his lay name—
The father Pierre de St. Louis became a Carmelite monk when he realized that his secular name—
yielded the anagram—
produced the anagram—
Of all the extravagances occasioned by the anagrammatic fever when at its height, none equals what is recorded of an infatuated Frenchman in the seventeenth century, named André Pujom, who, finding in his name the anagram Pendu à Riom, (the seat of criminal justice in the province of Auvergne,) felt impelled to fulfill his destiny, committed a capital offence in Auvergne, and was actually hung in the place to which the omen pointed.
Of all the excesses caused by the anagram craze at its peak, none compares to the story of a lovesick Frenchman in the seventeenth century named André Pujom. He discovered that his name could be rearranged into the anagram Hanged in Riom (the place for criminal justice in the Auvergne region), and believing it to be his fate, he committed a serious crime in Auvergne and was indeed hanged in the very place that the omen indicated.
The anagram on General Monk, afterwards Duke of Albemarle, on the restoration of Charles II., is also a chronogram, including the date of that important event:—
The anagram on General Monk, later Duke of Albemarle, regarding the restoration of Charles II, is also a chronogram that includes the date of that significant event:—
The mildness of the government of Elizabeth, contrasted with her intrepidity against the Iberians, is thus picked out of her title: she is made the English lamb and the Spanish lioness.
The gentleness of Elizabeth's government, combined with her bravery against the Iberians, is highlighted in her title: she is portrayed as the English lamb and the Spanish lioness.
53The unhappy history of Mary Queen of Scots, the deprivation of her kingdom, and her violent death, are expressed in the following Latin anagram:—
53The tragic story of Mary Queen of Scots, her loss of power, and her brutal death are captured in the following Latin anagram:—
In Taylor’s Suddaine Turne of Fortune’s Wheele, occurs the following very singular example:—
In Taylor’s Suddaine Turne of Fortune’s Wheele, there is a very unique example:—
The anagram on the well-known bibliographer, William Oldys, may claim a place among the first productions of this class. It was by Oldys himself, and was found by his executors among his MSS.
The anagram created by the famous bibliographer, William Oldys, can be considered one of the earliest works of this type. It was made by Oldys himself and was discovered by his executors among his manuscripts.
The following anagram, preserved in the files of the First Church in Roxbury, was sent to Thomas Dudley, a governor and major-general of the colony of Massachusetts, in 1645. He died in 1653, aged 77.
The following anagram, kept in the files of the First Church in Roxbury, was sent to Thomas Dudley, a governor and major-general of the Massachusetts colony, in 1645. He passed away in 1653 at the age of 77.
THOMAS DUDLEY.
54In an Elegy written by Rev. John Cotton on the death of John Alden, a magistrate of the old Plymouth Colony, who died in 1687, the following phonetic anagram occurs:—
54In an elegy written by Rev. John Cotton about the death of John Alden, a magistrate from the old Plymouth Colony, who died in 1687, the following phonetic anagram appears:—
The Calvinistic opponents of Arminius made of his name a not very creditable Latin anagram:—
The Calvinist opponents of Arminius turned his name into a rather unflattering Latin anagram:—
while his friends, taking advantage of the Dutch mode of writing it, Harminius, hurled back the conclusive argument,
while his friends, taking advantage of the Dutch style of writing it, Harminius, threw back the decisive argument,
Perhaps the most extraordinary anagram to be met with, is that on the Latin of Pilate’s question to the Saviour, “What is truth?”—St. John, xviii. 38.
Perhaps the most remarkable anagram you'll come across is from the Latin of Pilate's question to the Savior, "What is truth?"—St. John, xviii. 38.
PERSIST.
A lady, being asked by a gentleman to join in the bonds of matrimony with him, wrote the word “Stripes,” stating at the time that the letters making up the word stripes could be changed so as to make an answer to his question. The result proved satisfactory.
A woman, when asked by a man to marry him, wrote the word “Stripes,” explaining that the letters in the word stripes could be rearranged to form a response to his proposal. The outcome was pleasing.
The two which follow are peculiarly appropriate:—
The next two are particularly fitting:—
This word, Time, is the only word in the English language which can be thus arranged, and the different transpositions thereof are all at the same time Latin words. These words, in English as well as in Latin, may be read either upward or downward. Their signification as Latin words is as follows:—Time—fear thou; Item—likewise; Meti—to be measured; Emit—he buys.
This word, Time, is the only word in the English language that can be arranged this way, and all the different rearrangements of it are also Latin words. These words, in both English and Latin, can be read both upward and downward. Their meanings as Latin words are as follows:—Time—fear you; Item—also; Meti—to be measured; Emit—he buys.
Some striking German and Latin anagrams have been made of Luther’s name, of which the following are specimens. Doctor Martinus Lutherus transposed, gives O Rom, Luther ist der schwan. In D. Martinus Lutherus may be found ut turris das lumen (like a tower you give light). In Martinus Lutherus we have vir multa struens (the man who builds up much), and ter matris vulnus (he gave three wounds to the mother church). Martin Luther will make lehrt in Armuth (he teaches in poverty).
Some striking German and Latin anagrams have been created from Luther’s name, of which the following are examples. Doctor Martinus Lutherus rearranged gives O Rom, Luther is the swan.. In D. Martinus Lutherus, you can find the tower gives light (like a tower you give light). In Martinus Lutherus, we have man builds many things (the man who builds up much), and mother's wound (he gave three wounds to the mother church). Martin Luther will make teaches in poverty (he teaches in poverty).
Jablonski welcomed the visit of Stanislaus, King of Poland, with his noble relatives of the house of Lescinski, to the annual examination of the students under his care, at the gymnasium of Lissa, with a number of anagrams, all composed of the letters in the words Domus Lescinia. The recitations closed with a heroic dance, in which each youth carried a shield inscribed with a legend of the letters. After a new evolution, the boys exhibited the words Ades incolumis; next, Omnis es lucida; next, Omne sis lucida; fifthly, Mane sidus loci; sixthly, Sis columna Dei; and at the conclusion, I scande solium.
Jablonski welcomed the visit of Stanislaus, King of Poland, along with his noble relatives from the house of Lescinski, to the annual examination of the students he oversaw at the gymnasium in Lissa, featuring a series of anagrams made from the letters in the words Lescinia House. The presentations ended with a heroic dance, where each young man carried a shield displaying a legend made up of the letters. After a new formation, the boys displayed the words Safe travels; then, You are all bright; next, Be always bright; fifth, Stay in your lane; sixth, This column of God; and finally, I scanned the room.
A TELEGRAM ANAGRAMMATISED.
Anagrams are sometimes found in old epitaphial inscriptions. For example, at St. Andrews:—
Anagrams are occasionally found in old epitaph inscriptions. For example, at St. Andrews:—
At Newenham church, Northampton:—
At Newenham Church, Northampton:—
At Keynsham:—
At Keynsham:—
At Mannington, 1631:—
At Mannington, 1631:—
57Maitland has the following curious specimen:—
Maitland has an interesting example:—
How much there is in a word—monastery, says I: why, that makes nasty Rome; and when I looked at it again, it was evidently more nasty—a very vile place or mean sty. Ay, monster, says I, you are found out. What monster? said the Pope. What monster? said I. Why, your own image there, stone Mary. That, he replied, is my one star, my Stella Maris, my treasure, my guide! No, said I, you should rather say, my treason. Yet no arms, said he. No, quoth I, quiet may suit best, as long as you have no mastery, I mean money arts. No, said he again, those are Tory means; and Dan, my senator, will baffle them. I don’t know that, said I, but I think one might make no mean story out of this one word—monastery.
How much there is in a word—monastery, I said: that definitely makes nasty Rome; and when I looked at it again, it clearly seemed more nasty—a really vile place or mean sty. Oh, monster, I said, you've been exposed. What monster? said the Pope. What monster? I replied. Why, your own image there, stone Mary. That, he answered, is my one star, my Stella Maris, my treasure, my guide! No, I said, you should rather say, my treason. Yet no arms, he insisted. No, I replied, quiet may suit best, as long as you have no mastery, I mean money arts. No, he said again, those are Tory means; and Dan, my senator, will outsmart them. I don’t know about that, I said, but I think one could make a pretty substantial story out of this single word—monastery.
CHRONOGRAMS.
Addison, in his remarks on the different species of false wit, (Spect. No. 60,) thus notices the chronogram. “This kind of wit appears very often on modern medals, especially those of Germany, when they represent in the inscription the year in which they were coined. Thus we see on a medal of Gustavus Adolphus the following words:—
Addison, in his comments on the various types of false wit, (Spect. No. 60,) mentions the chronogram. “This type of wit often appears on modern medals, especially those from Germany, when the year of minting is included in the inscription. For example, on a medal of Gustavus Adolphus, we see the following words:—
If you take the pains to pick the figures out of the several words, and range them in their proper order, you will find they amount to MDCXVVVII, or 1627, the year in which the medal was stamped; for as some of the letters distinguish themselves from the rest and overtop their fellows, they are to be considered in a double capacity, both as letters and as figures. Your laborious German wits will turn over a whole dictionary for one of these ingenious devices. A man would think they were searching after an apt classical term; but instead of that they are looking out a word that has an L, an M, or a D, in it. When therefore we meet with any of these inscriptions, 58we are not so much to look in them for the thought as for the year of the Lord.”
If you take the time to pick the numbers out of the various words and arrange them correctly, you'll see they add up to MDCXVVVII, or 1627, the year the medal was made. Some of the letters stand out from the others and are taller than the rest, so they should be seen as both letters and numbers. Your hardworking German minds will sift through an entire dictionary for one of these clever tricks. One might think they’re searching for a fitting classical term, but instead, they're just looking for a word that contains an L, an M, or a D. So, when we come across any of these inscriptions, 58 we're not really looking for the idea but rather the year of our Lord.
Apropos of this humorous allusion to the Germanesque character of the chronogram, it is worthy of notice that European tourists find far more numerous examples of it in the inscriptions on the churches on the banks of the Rhine than in any other part of the continent.
A related point about this funny reference to the Germanesque style of the chronogram is that it’s worth mentioning that European tourists come across many more examples of it in the inscriptions on the churches along the Rhine than in any other part of the continent.
On the title-page of “Hugo Grotius his Sophompaneas” the date, 1652, is not given in the usual form, but is included in the name of the author, thus:—
On the title page of “Hugo Grotius his Sophompaneas” the date, 1652, isn’t presented in the usual way, but is included in the author's name like this:—
Howell, in his German Diet, after narrating the death of Charles, son of Philip II. of Spain, says:—
Howell, in his German Diet, after recounting the death of Charles, the son of Philip II of Spain, states:—
If you desire to know the year, this chronogram will tell you:
If you want to know the year, this chronogram will show you:
The following commemorates the death of Queen Elizabeth:—
The following honors the passing of Queen Elizabeth:—
A German book was issued in 1706, containing fac-similes and descriptions of more than two hundred medals coined in honor of Martin Luther. An inscription on one of them expresses the date of his death, 1546, as follows:—
A German book was published in 1706, featuring replicas and descriptions of over two hundred medals created in honor of Martin Luther. An inscription on one of them states the date of his death, 1546, as follows:—
The most extraordinary attempt of this kind that has yet been made, bears the following title:—
The most remarkable attempt of this kind that has been made so far is titled:—
Chronographica Gratulatio in Felicissimum adventum Serenissimi Cardinalis Ferdinandi, Hispaniarum Infantis, a Collegio Soc. Jesu.
Chronological Congratulations on the Joyful Arrival of the Most Serene Cardinal Ferdinand, Prince of Spain, from the Society of Jesus College.
A dedication to St. Michael and an address to Ferdinand are followed by one hundred hexameters, every one of which is a chronogram, and each gives the same result, 1634. The first and last verses are subjoined as a specimen.
A dedication to St. Michael and a message to Ferdinand are followed by one hundred hexameters, each one of which is a chronogram, and each gives the same result, 1634. The first and last lines are included as an example.
Palindromes.
RECURRENT, RECIPROCAL, OR REVERSIBLE WORDS AND VERSES.
The only fair specimen we can find of reciprocal words, or those which, read backwards or forwards, are the same, is the following couplet, which, according to an old book, cost the author a world of foolish labor:—
The only good example we can find of words that are the same when read backward or forward is this couplet, which, according to an old book, took the author an immense amount of pointless effort:—
The following admired reciprocal lines, addressed to St. Martin by Satan, according to the legend, the reader will find on perusal, either backwards or forwards, precisely the same:—
The following well-regarded lines, directed to St. Martin by Satan, according to the legend, will read the same whether you go backwards or forwards:—
[St. Martin having given up the profession of a soldier, and having been made Bishop of Tours, when prelates neither kept carriages nor servants, had occasion to go to Rome, in order to consult the Pope upon ecclesiastical matters. As he was walking along the road he met the devil, who politely accosted him, and ventured to observe how fatiguing and indecorous it was for him to perform so long a journey on foot, like the commonest pilgrim. The Saint understood the drift of Old Nick’s address, and commanded him immediately to become a beast of burden, or jumentum; which the devil did in a twinkling by assuming the shape of a mule. The Saint jumped upon the fiend’s back, who at first trotted cheerfully along, but soon slackened his pace. The bishop of course had neither whip nor spurs, but was possessed of a much more powerful stimulus, for, says the legend, he made the sign of the cross, and the smarting devil instantly galloped away. Soon however, and naturally enough, the father of sin returned to sloth and obstinacy, and Martin hurried him again with repeated signs of the cross, till, twitched and stung to the quick by those crossings so hateful to him, the vexed and tired reprobate uttered the foregoing distich in a rage, meaning, Cross, cross yourself; you annoy and vex me without necessity; for owing to my exertions, Rome, the object of your wishes, will soon be near.]
[St. Martin had given up being a soldier and was made the Bishop of Tours. Back then, bishops didn’t have carriages or servants. He needed to go to Rome to consult the Pope about church matters. While walking along the road, he met the devil, who politely greeted him and commented on how tiring and inappropriate it was for someone of his stature to be making such a long journey on foot like an ordinary pilgrim. The Saint understood the devil's intention and commanded him to become a pack animal, or beast of burden; the devil obliged instantly by turning into a mule. The Saint jumped onto the fiend's back, who started trotting happily at first but soon slowed down. The bishop didn’t have a whip or spurs, but he had a much stronger motivator: according to legend, he made the sign of the cross, and the distressed devil immediately began to gallop. However, it didn’t take long for the father of sin to revert to laziness and stubbornness, and Martin urged him forward again with repeated signs of the cross. Agitated and stung by those crossings that he hated, the irritated devil shouted the following couplet in fury, meaning, Cross, cross yourself; you annoy and vex me for no reason; because of my efforts, Rome, your desired destination, will soon be close.]
The Palindrome changes the sense in the backward reading; the Versus Cancrinus retains the sense in both instances unchanged, as in this instance:—
The Palindrome changes its meaning when read backwards; the Versus Cancrinus keeps its meaning the same in both cases, like in this example:—
60Similarly recurrent is the lawyer’s motto,—
60In the same way, the lawyer's saying is,—
translated by Camden, “Give me my fee, I warrant you free.”
translated by Camden, “Pay me what you owe, and I guarantee you’ll be free.”
The Greek inscription on the mosque of St. Sophia, in Constantinople,
The Greek inscription on the Mosque of St. Sophia, in Constantinople,
presents the same words, whether read from left to right, or from right to left. So also the expressions in English,—
presents the same words, whether read from left to right or from right to left. The same goes for expressions in English,—
This enigmatical line surrounds a figure of the sun in the mosaic pavement of Sa. Maria del Fiori, at Florence:—
This mysterious line encircles a sun figure in the mosaic floor of Sa. Maria del Fiori in Florence:—
These lines are supposed to be addressed to a young man detained at Rome by a love affair:—
These lines are meant for a young man stuck in Rome because of a romantic involvement:—
Dean Swift wrote a letter to Dr. Sheridan, composed of Latin words strung together as mere gibberish but each word, when 61read backwards, makes passable English. Take for example the following short sentences:—
Dean Swift wrote a letter to Dr. Sheridan, made up of Latin words jumbled together as nonsense, but each word, when 61 read backwards, forms decent English. Take, for example, these short sentences:—
Mi Sana. Odioso ni mus rem. Moto ima os illud dama nam? (I’m an ass. O so I do in summer. O Tom, am I so dull, I a mad man?)
Mi Sana. It's a terrible thing. What does that woman want? (I’m being an idiot. Oh, so I act in summer. Oh Tom, am I really that boring, like a crazy person?)
Inscription for a hospital, paraphrased from the Psalms:—
Inscription for a hospital, paraphrased from the Psalms:—
The ingenious Latin verses subjoined are reversible verbally only, not literally, and will be found to embody opposite meanings by commencing with the last word and reading backwards:—
The clever Latin verses added here can be read backwards word for word, but not literally, and you'll find that they hold opposite meanings when you start with the last word and read them in reverse:—
The following hexameter from Santa Marca Novella, Florence, refers to the sacrifice of Abel (Gen. iv. 4). Reversed, it is a pentameter, and refers to the sacrifice of Cain (iv. 3).
The following hexameter from Santa Marca Novella, Florence, refers to the sacrifice of Abel (Gen. iv. 4). Reversed, it is a pentameter, and refers to the sacrifice of Cain (iv. 3).
The subjoined distich arose from the following circumstance. A tutor, after having explained to his class one of the odes of Horace, undertook to dictate the same in hexameter verses, as an exercise (as he said). It cost him considerable trouble: he hesitated several times, and occasionally substituted other words, but finally succeeded. Some of his scholars thought he would not accomplish his task; others maintained that, having begun, it was a point of honor to complete it.
The following couplet came about from this situation. A teacher, after explaining one of Horace's odes to his class, decided to dictate it in hexameter verses as an exercise (or so he claimed). It took him quite a bit of effort: he stumbled several times and occasionally used different words, but he eventually succeeded. Some of his students believed he wouldn't finish his task, while others argued that since he started, it was a matter of pride to complete it.
Addison mentions an epigram called the Witches’ Prayer, that “fell into verse when it was read either backward or forward, excepting only that it cursed one way, and blessed the other.”
Addison mentions an epigram called the Witches’ Prayer, that “worked as a poem whether read forward or backward, only differing in that it cursed in one direction and blessed in the other.”
62One of the most remarkable palindromes on record is the following. Its distinguishing peculiarity is that the first letter of each successive word unites to spell the first word; the second letter of each, the second word; and so on throughout; and the same will be found precisely true on reversal.
62One of the most impressive palindromes ever is this one. What makes it special is that the first letter of each word comes together to spell the first word; the second letter forms the second word; and this pattern continues throughout. The same is also true when you read it backward.
But the neatest and prettiest specimen that has yet appeared comes from a highly cultivated lady who was attached to the court of Queen Elizabeth. Having been banished from the court on suspicion of too great familiarity with a nobleman then high in favor, the lady adopted this device,—the moon covered by a cloud,—and the following palindrome for a motto:—
But the most elegant and beautiful example that has emerged so far comes from a highly educated woman connected to Queen Elizabeth's court. After being exiled from the court due to suspicions of being too friendly with a favored nobleman, she chose this emblem—the moon covered by a cloud—and the following palindrome as her motto:—
The merit of this kind of composition was never in any example so heightened by appropriateness and delicacy of sentiment.
The value of this type of writing has never been illustrated so effectively by its fittingness and subtlety of emotion.
Paschasius composed the recurrent epitaph on Henry IV.:—
Paschasius wrote the repeated epitaph for Henry IV.:—
A very curious continuous series of palindromes was printed in Vienna in 1802. It was written in ancient Greek by a modern Greek named Ambrosius, who called it Πόιημα καρκινικὸν. It contains 455 lines, every one of which is a literal palindrome. A few are selected at random, as examples:—
A fascinating series of palindromes was published in Vienna in 1802. It was written in ancient Greek by a modern Greek named Ambrosius, who titled it Καρκινικό ποίημα. It consists of 455 lines, each of which is a perfect palindrome. Here are a few randomly selected examples:—
The following line is expressive of the sentiments of a Roman Catholic; read backwards, of those of a Huguenot:—
The following line shows the feelings of a Roman Catholic; read backwards, it reflects those of a Huguenot:—
63These lines, written to please a group of youthful folk, serve to show that our English tongue is as capable of being twisted into uncouth shapes as is the Latin, if any one will take the trouble:—
63These lines, written to entertain a group of young people, show that our English language can be just as awkward and twisted as Latin, if anyone puts in the effort:—
Equivoque.
COPY OF A LETTER WRITTEN BY CARDINAL RICHELIEU TO THE FRENCH AMBASSADOR AT ROME.
First read the letter across, then double it in the middle, and read the first column.
First, read the letter from side to side, then fold it in half, and read the first column.
Dude,—Mons. Compigne, a Savoyard by birth, | a Friar of the order of Saint Benedict, |
is the man who will present to you | as his passport to your protection, |
this letter. He is one of the most | discreet, the wisest and the least |
meddling persons that I have ever known | or have had the pleasure to converse with. |
He has long earnestly solicited me | to write to you in his favor, and |
to give him a suitable character, | together with a letter of credence; |
which I have accordingly granted to | his real merit, rather I must say, than to |
his importunity; for, believe me, Sir, | his modesty is only exceeded by his worth, |
I should be sorry that you should be | wanting in serving him on account of being |
misinformed of his real character; | I should be afflicted if you were |
as some other gentlemen have been, | misled on that score, who now esteem him, |
and those among the best of my friends; | wherefore, and from no other motive |
I think it my duty to advertise you | that you are most particularly desired, |
to have especial attention to all he does, | to show him all the respect imaginable, |
nor venture to say any thing before him, | that may either offend or displease him |
in any sort; for I may truly say, there is | no man I love so much as M. Compigne, |
none whom I should more regret to see | neglected, as no one can be more worthy to be |
received and trusted in decent society. | Base, therefore, would it be to injure him. |
And I well know, that as soon as you | are made sensible of his virtues, and |
shall become acquainted with him | you will love him as I do; and then |
you will thank me for this my advice. | The assurance I entertain of your |
Courtesy obliges me to desist from | urging this matter to you further, or |
saying any thing more on this subject. | Believe me, Sir, &c. RICHELIEU. |
A LOVE-LETTER.
The reader, after perusing it, will please read it again, commencing on the first line, then the third and fifth, and so on, reading each alternate line to the end.
The reader, after checking it out, should read it again, starting on the first line, then the third and fifth, and so on, reading each alternate line until the end.
INGENIOUS SUBTERFUGE.
A young lady newly married, being obliged to show to her husband all the letters she wrote, sent the following to an intimate friend. The key is, to read the first and then every alternate line only.
A young woman who just got married had to share all the letters she wrote with her husband, so she sent the following to a close friend. The trick is to read the first line and then every other line after that.
DOUBLE-FACED CREED.
The following cross-reading from a history of Popery, published in 1679, and formerly called in New England The Jesuits’ Creed, will suit either Catholic or Protestant accordingly as the lines are read downward in single columns or across the double columns:—
The following cross-reading from a history of Popery, published in 1679, and previously titled in New England The Jesuits’ Creed, will fit either Catholic or Protestant perspectives depending on whether the lines are read down single columns or across the double columns:—
67 | |
For faith, I hold true | What the English church teaches, |
Affirm what is Roman | They seem empty to me. |
Supremus when king is | You are lucky, plebs. |
The group is unstable. | Let it be done, pope. |
Altari with adornments | Communion becomes void, |
The people will rejoice | With the table, wine, and bread. |
The name earned its reputation | Hunc custom that doesn't accept, |
Missam who deserted | He is wise and Catholic. |
I hold for faith | What England’s church allows, |
What Rome’s church saith, | My conscience disavows. |
Where the king is head | The flock can take no shame, |
The flock’s misled, | Who hold the pope supreme. |
Where the altar’s drest | The worship’s scarce divine, |
The people’s blest, | Whose table’s bread and wine. |
He’s but an ass | Who their communion flies, |
Who shuns the mass, | Is Catholic and wise. |
REVOLUTIONARY VERSES.
The author of the following Revolutionary double entendre, which originally appeared in a Philadelphia newspaper, is unknown. It may be read in three different ways,—1st. Let the whole be read in the order in which it is written; 2d. Then the lines downward on the left of each comma in every line; and 3d. In the same manner on the right of each comma. By the first reading it will be observed that the Revolutionary cause is condemned, and by the others, it is encouraged and lauded:—
The author of the following Revolutionary double meaning, which first appeared in a Philadelphia newspaper, is unknown. It can be interpreted in three different ways: 1st. Read the whole text in the order it's written; 2nd. Then read the lines downward on the left side of each comma in every line; and 3rd. In the same way on the right side of each comma. The first reading shows that the Revolutionary cause is criticized, while the others support and praise it:—
THE HOUSES OF STUART AND HANOVER.
I love with all my heart | The Tory party here |
The Hanoverian part | Most hateful do appear |
And for that settlement | I ever have denied |
My conscience gives consent | To be on James’s side |
Most righteous is the cause | To fight for such a king |
To fight for George’s laws | Will England’s ruin bring |
It is my mind and heart | In this opinion I |
Though none will take my part | Resolve to live and die. |
Lansdowme MSS. 852 |
THE NEW REGIME.
The following equivoque was addressed to a republican at the commencement of the French Revolution, in reply to the question, “What do you think of the new constitution?”
The following equivocation was directed at a republican at the start of the French Revolution, in response to the question, “What do you think of the new constitution?”
To the new law | I want to be loyal. |
I give up wholeheartedly | In the old regime, |
As a test of my faith | I believe in the new law. |
I believe the one we blame | Opposed to all good; |
God gives you peace | Dear Democrats |
Noble despair | Go to hell; |
May he be forever confused | All the Aristocrats |
Gentlemen of the Assembly | Only they have common sense. |
The newly made law | ’Tis my wish to esteem |
From my soul I abhor | The ancient regime |
My faith to prove good, | I maintain the new code |
I maintain the old code | Is opposed to all good. |
May God give you peace, | Messieurs Democrats, |
Forsaken Noblesse, | To the devil go hence. |
May He ever confound | All the Aristocrats |
The Assembly all round | Are the sole men of sense. |
FATAL DOUBLE MEANING.
Count Valavoir, a general in the French service under Turenne, while encamped before the enemy, attempted one night to pass a sentinel. The sentinel challenged him, and the count answered “Va-la-voir,” which literally signifies “Go and see.” The soldier, who took the words in this sense, indignantly repeated the challenge, and was answered in the same manner, when he fired; and the unfortunate Count fell dead upon the spot,—a victim to the whimsicality of his surname.
Count Valavoir, a general in the French army under Turenne, was camped in front of the enemy when one night he tried to sneak past a sentinel. The sentinel challenged him, and the count replied “See you later,” which literally means “Go and see.” The soldier, interpreting the words literally, angrily repeated the challenge, and the count responded in the same way. The soldier then fired, and the unfortunate Count fell dead on the spot, a victim of the peculiarities of his surname.
A TRIPLE PLATFORM.
Among the memorials of the sectional conflict of 1861–5, is an American platform arranged to suit all parties. The first column is the Secession; the second, the Abolition platform; and the whole, read together, is the Democratic platform:—
Among the memorials of the sectional conflict of 1861–5, is an American platform designed to accommodate all parties. The first column is the Secession; the second, the Abolition platform; and the whole, read together, is the Democratic platform:—
Hurrah for | The Old Union |
Secession | Is a curse |
We fight for | The Constitution |
The Confederacy | Is a league with hell |
We love | Free speech |
The rebellion | Is treason |
We glory in | A Free Press |
Separation | Will not be tolerated |
We fight not for | The negro’s freedom |
Reconstruction | Must be obtained |
We must succeed | At every hazard |
The Union | We love |
We love not | The negro |
We never said | Let the Union slide |
We want | The Union as it was |
Foreign intervention | Is played out |
We cherish | The old flag |
The stars and bars | Is a flaunting lie |
We venerate | The habeas corpus |
Southern chivalry | Is hateful |
Death to | Jeff Davis |
Abe Lincoln | Isn’t the Government |
Down with | Mob law |
Law and order | Shall triumph. |
LOYALTY, OR JACOBINISM?
This piece of amphibology was circulated among the United Irishmen, previous to the Rebellion of 1798. First, read the lines as they stand, then according to the numerals prefixed:—
This example of amphibology was shared among the United Irishmen before the Rebellion of 1798. First, read the lines as they are, then according to the numbers at the beginning:—
NON COMMITTAL.
NEAT EVASION.
Bishop Egerton, of Durham, avoided three impertinent questions by replying as follows:—
Bishop Egerton of Durham sidestepped three rude questions by responding like this:—
A PATRIOTIC TOAST.
Most readers will remember the story of a non-committal editor who, during the Presidential canvass of 1872, desiring to propitiate subscribers of both parties, hoisted the ticket of “Gr—— and ——n” at the top of his column, thus giving those who took the paper their choice of interpretations between “Grant and Wilson” and “Greeley and Brown.” A story turning on the same style of point—and probably quite as apocryphal—though the author labels it “historique”—is told of an army officers’ mess in France. A brother-soldier from a neighboring detachment having come in, and a champenoise having been uncorked in his honor, “Gentlemen,” said the guest, raising his glass, “I am about to propose a toast at once patriotic and political.” A chorus of hasty ejaculations and of murmurs at once greeted him. “Yes, gentlemen,” coolly proceeded the orator, “I drink to a thing which—an object that—Bah! I will out with it at once. It begins with an R and ends with an e.”
Most readers will remember the story of a non-committal editor who, during the presidential election of 1872, wanting to please subscribers from both parties, put the ticket “Gr—— and ——n” at the top of his column. This allowed those who read the paper to interpret it as either “Grant and Wilson” or “Greeley and Brown.” A similarly styled story—probably just as made-up—though the author calls it “history”—is told of an army officers’ gathering in France. A fellow soldier from a nearby unit arrived, and a champagne was opened in his honor. “Gentlemen,” said the guest, raising his glass, “I’m about to propose a toast that’s both patriotic and political.” A chorus of quick comments and murmurs greeted him. “Yes, gentlemen,” the speaker continued coolly, “I toast to a thing which—an object that—Bah! I’ll just say it straight. It starts with an R and ends with an e.”
“Capital!” whispers a young lieutenant of Bordeaux promotion. “He proposes the République, without offending the old fogies by saying the word,”
“Capital!” whispers a young lieutenant from Bordeaux's promotion. “He suggests the Republic, without ruffling the old-timers by actually saying the word,”
“Nonsense! He means the Radicale,” replies the other, an old Captain Cassel.
“Nonsense! He means the Radical,” replies the other, an old Captain Cassel.
“Upon my word,” says a third, as he lifts his glass, “our friend must mean la Royauté.”
“Seriously,” says a third, raising his glass, “our friend must mean the Monarchy.”
71“I see!” cries a one-legged veteran of Froschweiler: “we drink to la Revanche.”
71“I get it!” shouts a one-legged veteran from Froschweiler: “let's drink to The Comeback.”
In fact the whole party drank the toast heartily, each interpreting it to his liking.
In fact, the entire party raised their glasses to the toast enthusiastically, each taking it in their own way.
In the hands of a Swift, even so trivial an instance might be made to point a moral on the facility with which, alike in theology and politics—from Athanasian creed to Cincinnati or Philadelphia platform—men comfortably interpret to their own diverse likings some doctrine that “begins with an R and ends with an e,” and swallow it with great unanimity and enthusiasm.
In the hands of a Swift, even such a trivial instance could illustrate how easily, in both theology and politics—from the Athanasian creed to the platforms of Cincinnati or Philadelphia—people interpret some doctrine that “starts with an R and ends with an e” to fit their own preferences, and accept it with great agreement and enthusiasm.
THE HANDWRITING ON THE WALL.
During the war of the Rebellion, a merchant of Milwaukee, who is an excellent hand at sketching, drew most admirably on the wall of his store a negro’s head, and underneath it wrote, in a manner worthy of the Delphic oracle, “Dis-Union for eber.” Whether the sentence meant loyalty to the Union or not, was the puzzling question which the gentleman himself never answered, invariably stating to the inquirers, “Read it for yourselves, gentlemen.” So from that day to this, as the saying goes, “no one knows how dat darkey stood on de war question.”
During the Civil War, a merchant from Milwaukee, who was great at sketching, artistically drew a black man's head on the wall of his store and wrote underneath it, in a style fit for an oracle, “Dis-Union for eber.” Whether this meant loyalty to the Union or not was a perplexing question that the man never clarified, always telling those who asked, “Read it for yourselves, gentlemen.” So, from that day to now, as the saying goes, “nobody knows how that guy felt about the war.”
Another question is puzzling the young ladies who attend a Western Female College. It seems that one of them discovered that some person had written on the outer wall of the college, “Young women should set good examples; for young men will follow them.” The question that is now perplexing the heads of several of the young ladies of the college is, whether the writer meant what he or she (the handwriting was rather masculine) wrote, in a moral sense or in an ironical one.
Another question is confusing the young women who attend a Western Female College. It seems that one of them found that someone had written on the outer wall of the college, “Young women should set good examples; for young men will follow them.” The question that is now puzzling several of the young women at the college is whether the writer meant it seriously in a moral sense or if it was intended ironically.
HOW FRENCH ACTRESSES AVOID GIVING THEIR AGE.
A servant robbed Mlle. Mars of her diamonds one evening while she was at the theatre. Arrested, he was put upon trial, and witnesses were summoned to bear testimony to his guilt. Among these was Mlle. Mars. She was greatly annoyed 72at this, as, according to the rules of French practice, the witness, after being sworn, gives his age. Now the age of Mlle. Mars was an impenetrable mystery, for it was a theme she never alluded to, and she possessed the art of arresting time’s flight, or at least of repairing its ravages so effectually that her face never revealed acquaintance with more than twenty years. She was for some days evidently depressed; then, all at once, her spirits rose as buoyant as ever. This puzzled the court—for people in her eminent position always have a court; parasites are plenty in Paris—they did not know whether she had determined frankly to confess her age, or whether she had hit upon some means of eluding this thorny point of practice.
A servant stole Mlle. Mars's diamonds one evening while she was at the theater. He was arrested and put on trial, with witnesses called to testify against him. Among them was Mlle. Mars. She was quite annoyed by this because, according to French law, after taking an oath, a witness has to state their age. The age of Mlle. Mars was a complete mystery, as she never mentioned it, and she had the talent to stop time in its tracks, or at least to reverse its effects so well that her face never hinted at being older than twenty. For a few days, she seemed obviously down; then suddenly, her spirits soared back to their usual high. This baffled the court—because someone in her prominent position always has an audience; there are always hangers-on in Paris—they couldn't tell if she had decided to openly confess her age or if she had figured out a way to dodge this tricky legal point.
The day of trial came, and she was at her place. The court-room was filled, and when she was put in the witness-box every ear was bent towards her to catch the age she would give as her own. “Your name?” said the presiding judge. “Anne Francoise Hippolyte Mars.” “What is your profession?” “An actress of the French Comedy.” “What is your age?” “——ty years.” “What?” inquired the presiding judge, leaning forward. “I have just told your honor!” replied the actress, giving one of those irresistible smiles which won the most hostile pit. The judge smiled in turn, and when he asked, as he did immediately, “Where do you live?” hearty applause long prevented Mlle. Mars from replying.
The day of the trial arrived, and she took her place. The courtroom was packed, and when she was called to the witness stand, every ear was tuned in to hear what age she would claim. “What’s your name?” asked the presiding judge. “Anne Francoise Hippolyte Mars.” “What do you do for a living?” “I’m an actress in the French Comedy.” “How old are you?” “——ty years.” “What?” the presiding judge asked, leaning forward. “I just told your honor!” the actress replied, flashing one of those irresistible smiles that even won over the most hostile audience. The judge smiled back, and when he immediately asked, “Where do you live?” loud applause made it hard for Mlle. Mars to respond.
Mlle. Cico was summoned before a court to bear witness in favor of some cosmetic assailed as a poison by victims and their physicians. All the youngest actresses of Paris were there, and they reckoned upon a good deal of merriment and profit when Mlle. Cico came to disclose her age. She was called to the stand—sworn—gave her name and profession. When the judge said “How old are you?” she quitted the stand, went up to the bench, stood on tip-toe, and whispered in the judge’s ear the malicious mystery. The bench smiled, and kept her secret.
Mlle. Cico was called to court to testify in support of a cosmetic that victims and their doctors had condemned as a poison. All the youngest actresses in Paris were there, expecting a lot of fun and profit when Mlle. Cico revealed her age. She took the stand, was sworn in, and stated her name and profession. When the judge asked, “How old are you?” she stepped off the stand, approached the bench, stood on her tiptoes, and whispered the cheeky secret into the judge’s ear. The bench smiled and kept her secret.
The Cento.
A cento primarily signifies a cloak made of patches. In poetry it denotes a work wholly composed of verses, or passages promiscuously taken from other authors and disposed in a new form or order, so as to compose a new work and a new meaning. According to the rules laid down by Ausonius, the author of the celebrated Nuptial Cento, the pieces may be taken from the same poet, or from several; and the verses may be either taken entire, or divided into two, one half to be connected with another half taken elsewhere; but two verses are never to be taken together.
A cento mainly refers to a cloak made from patches. In poetry, it means a work that is completely made up of verses or passages randomly taken from different authors and arranged in a new way to create a new piece with a new meaning. According to the guidelines set by Ausonius, the author of the famous Nuptial Cento, the excerpts can come from the same poet or from multiple poets; the verses can be used in their entirety or split into two parts, with one half linked to another half taken from somewhere else; however, two verses should never be used together.
The Empress Eudoxia wrote the life of Jesus Christ in centos taken from Homer. Proba Falconia, and, long after him, Alexander Ross, both composed a life of the Saviour, in the same manner, from Virgil. The title of Ross’ work, which was republished in 1769, was Virgilius Evangelizans, sive historia Domini et Salvatoris nostri Jesu Christi Virgilianis verbis et versibus descripta.
The Empress Eudoxia wrote the life of Jesus Christ using excerpts from Homer. Proba Falconia, and later Alexander Ross, also created a biography of the Savior in a similar style, using Virgil's works. The title of Ross' book, which was republished in 1769, was Virgilius Evangelizans, or the story of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ described in the words and verses of Virgil..
Subjoined are some modern specimens of this literary confectionery, called in modern parlance
Subjoined are some modern examples of this literary treat, called in today's language
MOSAIC POETRY.
I only knew she came and went | Lowell. |
Like troutlets in a pool; | Hood. |
She was a phantom of delight, | Wordsworth. |
And I was like a fool. | Eastman. |
“One kiss, dear maid,” I said and sighed, | Coleridge. |
“Out of those lips unshorn.” | Longfellow. |
She shook her ringlets round her head, | Stoddard. |
And laughed in merry scorn. | Tennyson. |
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky! | Tennyson. |
You hear them, oh my heart? | Alice Cary. |
’Tis twelve at night by the castle clock, | Coleridge. |
Beloved, we must part! | Alice Cary. |
“Come back! come back!” she cried in grief, | Campbell. |
“My eyes are dim with tears— | Bayard Taylor. |
How shall I live through all the days, | Mrs. Osgood. |
All through a hundred years?” | T. S. Perry. |
74’Twas in the prime of summer time, | Hood. |
She blessed me with her hand; | Hoyt. |
We strayed together, deeply blest, | Mrs. Edwards. |
Into the Dreaming Land. | Cornwall. |
The laughing bridal roses blow, | Patmore. |
To dress her dark brown hair; | Bayard Taylor. |
No maiden may with her compare, | Brailsford. |
Most beautiful, most rare! | Read. |
I clasped it on her sweet cold hand, | Browning. |
The precious golden link; | Smith. |
I calmed her fears, and she was calm, | Coleridge. |
“Drink, pretty creature, drink!” | Wordsworth. |
And so I won my Genevieve, | Coleridge. |
And walked in Paradise; | Hervey. |
The fairest thing that ever grew | Wordsworth. |
Atween me and the skies. | Osgood. |
LIFE.
1. Young. 2. Dr. Johnson. 3. Pope. 4. Prior. 5. Sewell. 6. Spenser. 7. Daniel. 8. Sir Walter Raleigh. 9. Longfellow. 10. Southwell. 11. Congreve. 12. Churchill. 13. Rochester. 14. Armstrong. 15. Milton. 16. Baily. 17. Trench. 18. Somerville. 19. Thompson. 20. Byron. 21. Smollet. 22. Crabbe. 23. Massinger. 24. Crowley. 25. Beattie. 26. Cowper. 27. Sir Walter Davenant. 28. Grey. 29. Willis. 30. Addison. 31. Dryden. 32. Francis Quarles. 33. Watkins. 34. Herrick. 35. William Mason. 36. Hill. 37. Dana. 38. Shakespeare.
1. Young. 2. Dr. Johnson. 3. Pope. 4. Prior. 5. Sewell. 6. Spenser. 7. Daniel. 8. Sir Walter Raleigh. 9. Longfellow. 10. Southwell. 11. Congreve. 12. Churchill. 13. Rochester. 14. Armstrong. 15. Milton. 16. Baily. 17. Trench. 18. Somerville. 19. Thompson. 20. Byron. 21. Smollett. 22. Crabbe. 23. Massinger. 24. Crowley. 25. Beattie. 26. Cowper. 27. Sir Walter Davenant. 28. Grey. 29. Willis. 30. Addison. 31. Dryden. 32. Francis Quarles. 33. Watkins. 34. Herrick. 35. William Mason. 36. Hill. 37. Dana. 38. Shakespeare.
CENTO FROM POPE.
’Tis education forms the common mind; | Moral Essays. |
A mighty maze! but not without a plan. | Essay on Man. |
Ask of the learned the way? The learned are blind; | Essay on Man. |
The proper study of mankind is man. | Essay on Man. |
A little learning is a dangerous thing; | Essay on Criticism. |
Some have at first for wits, then poets passed— | Essay on Criticism. |
See from each clime the learned their incense bring, | Essay on Criticism. |
For rising merit will buoy up at last. | Essay on Criticism. |
Tell (for you can) what is it to be wise.— | Essay on Man. |
Virtue alone is happiness below; | Essay on Man. |
Honor and shame from no condition rise, | Essay on Man. |
And all our knowledge is ourselves to know. | Essay on Man. |
Who shall decide when doctors disagree? | Moral Essay. |
One truth is clear, whatever is, is right. | Essay on Man. |
Since men interpret texts, why should not we | January and May. |
Read them by day and meditate by night? | Essay on Criticism. |
BIBLICAL CENTO.
Cling to the Mighty One, | Ps. lxxxix. 19. |
Cling in thy grief; | Heb. xii. 11. |
Cling to the Holy One, | Ps. xxxix. 18. |
He gives relief; | Ps. lxxxvi. 7. |
77Cling to the Gracious One, | Ps. cxvi. 5. |
Cling in thy pain; | Ps. lv. 4. |
Cling to the Faithful One, | 1 Thess. v. 24. |
He will sustain. | Ps. xxviii. 8. |
Cling to the Living One, | Heb. vii. 25. |
Cling in thy woe; | Ps. lxxxvi. 7. |
Cling to the Loving One, | 1 John iv. 16. |
Through all below; | Rom. viii. 38, 39. |
Cling to the Pardoning One, | Isa. lv. 7. |
He speaketh peace; | John xiv. 27. |
Cling to the Healing One, | Exod. xv. 26. |
Anguish shall cease. | Ps. cxlvii. 3. |
Cling to the Bleeding One, | 1 John i. 7. |
Cling to His side; | John xx. 27. |
Cling to the Risen One, | Rom. vi. 9. |
In Him abide; | John xv. 4. |
Cling to the Coming One, | Rev. xxii. 20. |
Hope shall arise; | Titus ii. 13. |
Cling to the Reigning One, | Ps. xcvii. 1. |
Joy lights thine eyes. | Ps. xvi. 11. |
THE RETURN OF ISRAEL.
In many strange and Gentile lands | Micah v. 8. |
Where Jacob’s scattered sons are driven, | Jer. xxiii. 8. |
With longing eyes and lifted hands, | Lam. i. 17. |
They wait Messiah’s sign from heaven. | Matth. xxiv. 30 |
The cup of fury they have quaffed, | Isa. li. 17. |
Till fainted like a weary flock; | Isa. li. 20. |
But Heaven will soon withdraw the draught, | Isa. li. 22. |
And give them waters from the rock. | Exod. xvii. 6. |
What though their bodies, as the ground, | Isa. li. 23. |
Th’ Assyrian long has trodden o’er! | Isa. lii. 4. |
Zion, a captive daughter bound, | Isa. lii. 2. |
Shall rise to know her wrong no more. | Isa. liv. 3, 4. |
78 | |
The veil is passing from her eyes, | 2 Cor. iii. 16. |
The King of Nations she shall see; | Zech. xiv. 9. |
Judea! from the dust arise! | Isa. lii. 2. |
Thy ransomed sons return to thee! | Jer. xxxi. 17. |
How gorgeous shall thy land appear, | Isa. liv. 12. |
When, like the jewels of a bride, | Isa. xlix. 18. |
Thy broken bands, all gathered there, | Zech. xi. 14. |
Shall clothe thy hills on every side! | Isa. xlix. 18. |
When on thy mount, as prophets taught, | Isa. xxiv. 23. |
Shall shine the throne of David’s Son; | Ezek. xxxvii. 22. |
The Gospel’s latest triumphs brought | Micah iv. 2. |
Where first its glorious course begun. | Luke xxiv. 47. |
Gentiles and Kings, who thee oppressed, | Isa. lx. 14. |
Shall to thy gates with praise repair; | Isa. lx. 11. |
A fold of flocks shall Sharon rest, | Isa. lxv. 10. |
And clustered fruits its vineyard bear. | Joel ii. 22. |
Then shall an Eden morn illume | Isa. li. 3. |
Earth’s fruitful vales, without a thorn: | Isa. lv. 13. |
The wilderness rejoice and bloom, | Isa. xxxv. 1. |
And nations in a day be born. | Zech. ii. 11. |
The Lord his holy arm makes bare; | Isa. lii. 10. |
Zion! thy cheerful songs employ! | Zeph. iii. 14. |
Thy robes of bridal beauty wear, | Isa. lii. 1. |
And shout, ye ransomed race, for joy! | Isa. lii. 9. |
Macaronic Verse.
“A TREATISE OF WINE.”
The following specimen of macaronic verse, from the commonplace book of Richard Hilles, who died in 1535, is probably the best of its kind extant. The scriptural allusions and the large intermixture of Latin evidently point to the refectory of some genial monastery as its source:—
The following example of macaronic verse from the commonplace book of Richard Hilles, who died in 1535, is likely the best of its kind still in existence. The biblical references and the heavy mix of Latin clearly suggest that it originated in the friendly atmosphere of some monastery:—
THE SUITOR WITH NINE TONGUES.
MAGINN’S ALTERNATIONS—HORACE, EPODE II.
CONTENTI ABEAMUS.
FLY-LEAF SCRIBBLING.
THE CAT AND THE RATS.
MORAL.
POLYGLOT INSCRIPTION.
The following advertisement in five languages, is inscribed on the window of a public house in Germany:—
The following ad in five languages is posted on the window of a bar in Germany:—
PARTING ADDRESS TO A FRIEND,
Written by a German gentleman on the termination of a very agreeable, but brief acquaintance.
Written by a German gentleman at the end of a very pleasant, but short, acquaintance.
ON THE RHINE.
THE DEATH OF THE SEA SERPENT.
Concatenation or Chain Verse.
LASPHRISE’S NOVELTIES.
Lasphrise, a French poet of considerable merit, claims the invention of several singularities in verse, and among them the following, in which it will be found that the last word of every line is the first word of the following line:—
Lasphrise, a talented French poet, asserts that he created several unique styles in poetry, including the one below, where the last word of each line is the first word of the next line:—
Subjoined are examples in our own vernacular:—
Here are some examples in our own language:—
TO DEATH.
TRUTH.
TRYING SKYING.
A RINGING SONG.
The following gem is from an old play of Shakspeare’s time, called The True Trojans:—
The following gem is from an old play from Shakespeare's time, called The True Trojans:—
Bouts Rimés.
Bouts Rimés, or Rhyming Ends, afford considerable amusement. They are said by Goujet to have been invented by Dulot, a French poet, who had a custom of preparing the rhymes of sonnets, leaving them to be filled up at leisure. Having been robbed of his papers, he was regretting the loss of three hundred sonnets. His friends were astonished that he had written so many of which they had never heard. “They were blank sonnets,” said he, and then explained the mystery by describing his “Bouts Rimés.” The idea appeared ridiculously amusing, and it soon became a fashionable pastime to collect some of the most difficult rhymes, and fill up the lines. An example is appended:—
Bouts Rimés, or Rhyming Ends, provide quite a bit of entertainment. Goujet claims they were invented by Dulot, a French poet who had a habit of creating the rhymes for sonnets and leaving them blank to be completed later. After losing his papers, he lamented the loss of three hundred sonnets. His friends were surprised he had written so many they had never heard of before. “They were blank sonnets,” he explained, revealing the mystery by describing his “Rhymed Verses.” The concept seemed hilariously amusing, and it quickly became a trendy pastime to gather some of the toughest rhymes and fill in the lines. Here's an example:—
The rhymes may be thus completed:—
The rhymes can be finished like this:—
A sprightly young belle, who was an admirer of poetry, would often tease her beau, who had made some acquaintance with the muses, to write verses for her. One day, becoming quite importunate, she would take no denial. “Come, pray, do now write some poetry for me—won’t you? I’ll help you out. I’ll 89furnish you with rhymes if you will make lines for them. Here now:—
A lively young beauty, who loved poetry, would often tease her boyfriend, who had dabbled a bit with the muses, to write her some verses. One day, getting quite persistent, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Come on, please write some poetry for me—won’t you? I’ll help you out. I’ll give you rhymes if you’ll come up with lines for them. Here now:—
please, | moan, |
tease, | bone.” |
He at length good-humoredly complied, and filled up the measure as follows:—
He finally agreed with a good attitude and filled it up as follows:—
Mr. Bogart, a young man of Albany, who died in 1826, at the age of twenty-one, displayed astonishing facility in impromptu writing.
Mr. Bogart, a young man from Albany, who passed away in 1826 at the age of twenty-one, showed incredible talent for writing on the spot.
It was good-naturedly hinted on one occasion that his “impromptus” were prepared beforehand, and he was asked if he would submit to the application of a test of his poetic abilities. He promptly acceded, and a most difficult one was immediately proposed.
It was playfully suggested one time that his “impromptus” were actually prepared in advance, and he was asked if he would agree to a test of his poetic skills. He quickly agreed, and a really tough one was proposed right away.
Among his intimate friends were Col. J. B. Van Schaick and Charles Fenno Hoffman, both of whom were present. Said Van Schaick, taking up a copy of Byron, “The name of Lydia Kane” (a lady distinguished for her beauty and cleverness, who died a few years ago, but who was then just blushing into womanhood) “has in it the same number of letters as a stanza of Childe Harold has lines: write them down in a column.” They were so written by Bogart, Hoffman, and himself. “Now,” he continued, “I will open the poem at random; and for the ends of the lines in Miss Lydia’s Acrostic shall be used the words ending those of the verse on which my finger may rest.” The stanza thus selected was this:—
Among his close friends were Col. J. B. Van Schaick and Charles Fenno Hoffman, both of whom were there. Van Schaick picked up a copy of Byron and said, “The name Lydia Kane” (a woman known for her beauty and intelligence, who had passed away a few years before but was then just coming into her own as a woman) “has the same number of letters as there are lines in a stanza of Childe Harold: write them down in a column.” They were written down by Bogart, Hoffman, and him. “Now,” he continued, “I will open the poem at random; and for the ends of the lines in Miss Lydia’s Acrostic, I will use the words that end the verse on which my finger lands.” The stanza selected was this:—
90The following stanza was composed by Bogart within the succeeding ten minutes,—the period fixed in a wager,—finished before his companions had reached a fourth line, and read to them as here presented:[6]—
90 The following stanza was written by Bogart in the next ten minutes—the time limit set in a bet—completed before his friends had managed to get through a fourth line, and read to them as presented here:[6]—
L ovely and loved, o’er the unconquered | brave |
Y our charms resistless, matchless girl, shall | reign! |
D ear as the mother holds her infant’s | grave |
I n Love’s own region, warm, romantic | Spain! |
A nd should your fate to court your steps | ordain, |
K ings would in vain to regal pomp | appeal, |
A nd lordly bishops kneel to you in | vain, |
N or valor’s fire, law’s power, nor churchman’s | zeal |
E ndure ’gainst love’s (time’s up!) untarnished | steel. |
The French also amuse themselves with bouts rimés retournés, in which the rhymes are taken from some piece of poetry, but the order in which they occur is reversed. The following example is from the album of a Parisian lady of literary celebrity, the widow of one of the Crimean heroes. The original poem is by Alfred de Musset, the retournés by Marshal Pelissier, who improvised it at the lady’s request. In the translation which ensues, the reversed rhymes are carefully preserved.
The French also entertain themselves with reverse rhymed couplets, where the rhymes from a piece of poetry are rearranged in reverse order. The following example comes from the collection of a well-known Parisian lady, the widow of one of the heroes of the Crimean War. The original poem is by Alfred de Musset, and the returned were created by Marshal Pelissier, who made them up on the lady’s request. In the translation that follows, the reversed rhymes are carefully maintained.
BY DE MUSSET.
BY PELISSIER, DUC DE MALAKOFF.
TRANSLATION.
REVERSED RHYMES.
Among the eccentricities of literature may be classed Rhopalic verses, which begin with a monosyllable and gradually increase the length of each successive word. The name was suggested by the shape of Hercules’ club, ῥόπαλον. Sometimes they run from the butt to the handle of the club. Take as an example of each,—
Among the unique features of literature are Rhopalic verses, which start with a one-syllable word and gradually increase the length of each following word. The term was inspired by the shape of Hercules’ club, ῥόπαλον. Sometimes they extend from the end to the handle of the club. For example,—
Emblematic Poetry.
The quaint conceit of making verses assume grotesque shapes and devices, expressive of the theme selected by the writer, appears to have been most fashionable during the seventeenth century. Writers tortured their brains in order to torture their verses into all sorts of fantastic forms, from a flowerpot to an obelisk, from a pin to a pyramid. Hearts and fans and knots were chosen for love-songs; wineglasses, bottles, and casks for Bacchanalian songs; pulpits, altars, and monuments for religious verses and epitaphs. Tom Nash, according to Disraeli, says of Gabriel Harvey, that “he had writ verses in all kinds: in form of a pair of gloves, a pair of spectacles, a pair of pot-hooks, &c.” Puttenham, in his Art of Poesie, gives several odd specimens of poems in the form of lozenges, pillars, triangles, &c. Butler says of Benlowes, “the excellently learned,” who was much renowned for his literary freaks, “As for temples and pyramids in poetry, he has outdone all men that way; for he has made a grid-iron and a frying-pan in verse, that, besides the likeness in shape, the very tone and sound of the words did perfectly represent the noise made by these utensils! When he was a captain, he made all the furniture of his horse, from the bit to the crupper, the beaten poetry, every verse being fitted to the proportion of the thing, with a moral allusion to the sense of the thing: as the bridle of moderation, the saddle of content, and the crupper of constancy; so that the same thing was the epigram and emblem, even as a mule is both horse and ass.” Mr. Alger tells us that the Oriental poets are fond of arranging their poems in the form of drums, swords, circles, crescents, trees, &c., and that the Alexandrian rhetoricians used to amuse themselves by writing their satires and invectives in the shape of an axe or a 93spear. He gives the following erotic triplet, composed by a Hindu poet, the first line representing a bow, the second its string, the third an arrow aimed at the heart of the object of his passion:—
The charming idea of crafting poems into unusual shapes and designs that reflect the theme chosen by the writer was quite popular during the seventeenth century. Authors stretched their imaginations to bend their verses into all kinds of whimsical forms, from a flowerpot to an obelisk, or from a pin to a pyramid. Hearts and fans were used for love songs; wineglasses, bottles, and barrels for drinking songs; pulpits, altars, and monuments for religious poetry and epitaphs. Tom Nash, according to Disraeli, says of Gabriel Harvey that “he had written verses in all kinds: in the shape of a pair of gloves, a pair of glasses, a pair of pot-hooks, etc.” Puttenham, in his Art of Poesie, provides several amusing examples of poems shaped like lozenges, pillars, triangles, and more. Butler mentions Benlowes, “the excellently learned,” who was famous for his literary quirks, stating, “Regarding temples and pyramids in poetry, he has surpassed all others; for he has created a grid-iron and a frying-pan in verse, where the very tone and sound of the words perfectly mimic the noise made by these objects! When he was a captain, he crafted all the gear for his horse, from the bit to the crupper, as poetry, with each verse fitting the shape of the item, along with a moral reference to its meaning: like the bridle of moderation, the saddle of content, and the crupper of constancy; so that it served both as an epigram and an emblem, much like a mule is both horse and donkey.” Mr. Alger points out that Eastern poets enjoy arranging their poetry in the shapes of drums, swords, circles, crescents, trees, etc., and that Alexandrian rhetoricians used to entertain themselves by writing their satirical pieces in the shape of an axe or a 93spear. He includes the following erotic triplet by a Hindu poet, where the first line depicts a bow, the second its string, and the third an arrow aimed at the heart of his beloved:—

THE WINE GLASS.
94The following specimen of this affectation was written by George Wither, who lived from 1588 to 1677. It is called by Mr. Ellis a
94The following example of this pretension was written by George Wither, who lived from 1588 to 1677. Mr. Ellis refers to it as a
RHOMBOIDAL DIRGE.
The Christian monks of the Middle Ages, who amused themselves similarly, preferred for their hymns the form of
The Christian monks of the Middle Ages, who entertained themselves in a similar way, preferred their hymns to be in the form of
THE CROSS.
A CURIOUS PIECE OF ANTIQUITY, ON THE CRUCIFIXION OF OUR SAVIOUR AND THE TWO THIEVES.
EXPLANATION.
The middle cross represents our Saviour; those on either side, the two thieves. On the top and down the middle cross are our Saviour’s expression, “My God! My God! why hast thou forsaken me?” and on the top of the cross is the Latin inscription, “INRI”—Jesus Nazarenus Rex Judæorum, i.e. Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews. Upon the cross on the right-hand is the prayer of one of the thieves:—“Lord! remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.” On the left-hand cross is the saying, or reproach, of the other:—“If thou beest the Christ, save thyself and us.” The whole, comprised together, makes a piece of excellent poetry, which is to be read across all the columns, and makes as many lines as there are letters in the alphabet. It is perhaps one of the most curious pieces of composition to be found on record.
The middle cross represents our Savior; the two on either side represent the two thieves. At the top and down the center of the cross are our Savior's words, "My God! My God! why have you forsaken me?" At the top of the cross is the Latin inscription, “INRI”—Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews, i.e. Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews. On the cross to the right is one thief's prayer: “Lord! remember me when you come into your kingdom.” On the left cross is the remark, or taunt, of the other: “If you are the Christ, save yourself and us.” Altogether, this creates a piece of excellent poetry that can be read across all the columns, making as many lines as there are letters in the alphabet. It may be one of the most intriguing compositions on record.
INGENIOUS CYPHER
The following was written by Prof. Whewell at the request of a young lady:—
The following was written by Prof. Whewell at the request of a young woman:—
TYPOGRAPHICAL.
We once saw a young man gazing at the *ry heavens, with a † in 1 ☞ and a ︷ of pistols in the other. We endeavored to attract his attention by .ing to a ¶ in a paper we held in our ☞, relating 2 a young man in that § of the country, who had left home in a state of mental derangement. He dropped the † and pistols from his ☞☜ with the !
We once saw a young man staring at the sky, with a gun in one hand and a bunch of pistols in the other. We tried to get his attention by pointing to an article in a newspaper we had, about a young man in that area who had left home in a state of mental distress. He dropped the gun and pistols from his hands in shock.
“It is I of whom U read. I left home be4 my friends knew of my design. I had s0 the ☞ of a girl who refused 2 lis10 2 me, but smiled b9nly on another. I ——ed madly from the house, uttering a wild ’ 2 the god of love, and without replying 2 the ??? of my friends, came here with this † & ︷ of pistols, 2 put a . 2 my existence. My case has no || in this §.”
“It’s me you’re reading about. I left home before my friends knew my plan. I had my sights set on a girl who wouldn’t listen to me, but smiled sweetly at another. I rushed out of the house, crying out to the god of love, and without answering the questions from my friends, came here with this pair of pistols, to put an end to my existence. My situation has no parallel in this story.”
OXFORD JOKE.
A gentleman entered the room of Dr. Barton, Warden of Merton College, and told him that Dr. Vowel was dead. “What!” said he, “Dr. Vowel dead! well, thank heaven it was neither U nor I.”
A man walked into Dr. Barton's office, the Warden of Merton College, and told him that Dr. Vowel had passed away. “What!” he exclaimed, “Dr. Vowel dead! Well, thank goodness it wasn’t U or I.”
In an old church in Westchester county, N. Y., the following consonants are written beside the altar, under the Ten Commandments. What vowel is to be placed between them, to make sense and rhyme of the couplet?
In an old church in Westchester County, NY, the following consonants are written beside the altar, under the Ten Commandments. What vowel should be placed between them to create a meaningful and rhyming couplet?
ESSAY TO MISS CATHARINE JAY.
Monosyllables.
Some of our best writers have very properly taken exception to the above line in Pope’s Essay on Criticism, and have shown, by reference to abundant examples, that many of the finest passages in our language are nearly, if not altogether, monosyllabic. Indeed, it could not well be otherwise, if it be true that, as Dean Swift has remarked, the English language is “overstocked with monosyllables.” It contains more than five hundred formed by the vowel a alone; four hundred and fifty by the vowel e; nearly four hundred by the vowel i; more than four hundred by the vowel o; and two hundred and sixty by the vowel u; besides a large number formed by diphthongs. Floy has written a lengthy and very ingenious article, entirely in monosyllables, in which he undertakes, as he says, to “prove that short words, in spite of the sneer in the text, need not creep, nor be dull, but that they give strength, and life, and fire to the verse of those who know how to use them.”
Some of our best writers have rightly objected to the line in Pope’s Essay on Criticism and have demonstrated, with plenty of examples, that many of the greatest passages in our language are mostly, if not completely, made up of monosyllables. It couldn’t be any other way if it’s true, as Dean Swift pointed out, that the English language is “overstocked with monosyllables.” It has more than five hundred formed with the vowel a alone, four hundred and fifty with the vowel e, nearly four hundred with the vowel i, more than four hundred with the vowel o, and two hundred and sixty with the vowel u, along with a large number formed by diphthongs. Floy wrote a long and very clever article, entirely in monosyllables, where he aims, as he puts it, to “prove that short words, despite the sneer in the text, don’t have to be dull or drag along, but that they bring strength, life, and fire to the verse of those who know how to wield them.”
Pope himself, however, has confuted his own words by his admirable writings more effectively than could be done by labored argument. Many of the best lines in the Essay above referred to, as well as in the Essay on Man,—and there are few “dull” or “creeping” verses to be found in either,—are made up entirely of monosyllables, or contain but one word of greater length, or a contracted word pronounced as one syllable. The Universal Prayer—one of the most beautiful and elaborate pieces, both in sentiment and versification, ever produced in any language—contains three hundred and four words, of which there are two hundred and forty-nine monosyllables to fifty-five polysyllables, thus averaging but one of the latter to every line. A single stanza is appended as a specimen:—
Pope himself, however, has contradicted his own words through his amazing writings more effectively than any lengthy argument could. Many of the best lines in the previously mentioned Essay, as well as in the Essay on Man—where you'll find very few "dull" or "creeping" verses—are made up entirely of monosyllables, or have just one longer word, or a contracted word pronounced as one syllable. The Universal Prayer—one of the most beautiful and intricate pieces, both in sentiment and verse, ever created in any language—contains three hundred and four words, with two hundred and forty-nine being monosyllables and fifty-five polysyllables, averaging just one of the latter per line. A single stanza is included as an example:—
99Rogers, conversing on this subject, cited two lines from Eloisa to Abelard, which he declared could not possibly be improved:—
99Rogers, talking about this topic, quoted two lines from Eloisa to Abelard, which he claimed could not possibly be better:—
Among the illustrations employed by Floy, are numerous selections from the hymnology in common congregational use, such as the following:—
Among the illustrations used by Floy are several selections from popular hymns that are commonly sung in congregations, such as the following:—
The same writer, to show Shakspeare’s fondness for small words, and their frequent subservience to some of his most masterly efforts, enters upon a monosyllabic analysis of King Lear, quoting from it freely throughout. Those who read the play with reference to this point will be struck with the remarkable number of forcible passages made up of words of one syllable:—
The same writer, to highlight Shakespeare’s preference for short words and how often they contribute to some of his greatest work, starts a monosyllabic analysis of King Lear, quoting from it frequently. Those who read the play with this in mind will notice the impressive amount of powerful passages composed of one-syllable words:—
The following occurs in the play of King John, where the King is pausing in his wish to incite Hubert to murder Arthur:—
The following happens in the play of King John, where the King hesitates in his desire to urge Hubert to kill Arthur:—
Herrick says, in his address to the daffodils:—
Herrick says, in his address to the daffodils:—
Bailey’s Festus, that extraordinary poem the perusal of which makes the reader feel as if he had “eaten of the insane root that takes the reason prisoner,” abounds with examples:—
Bailey’s Festus, that amazing poem which makes the reader feel like they have “eaten of the insane root that takes the reason prisoner,” is full of examples:—
Many of the most expressive sentences in the Bible are monosyllabic. A few are subjoined, selected at random:—
Many of the most impactful sentences in the Bible are one-syllable words. Here are a few, chosen at random:—
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good.—Gen. I.
And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good.—Gen. I.
At her feet he bowed, he fell, he lay down: at her feet he bowed, he fell: where he bowed, there he fell down dead.—Judges V.
At her feet, he bowed, he fell, he lay down: at her feet, he bowed, he fell: where he bowed, there he collapsed and died.—Judges V.
O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks.—Psalm XXX.
O Lord my God, I called out to you, and you healed me. O Lord, you rescued my soul from the grave; you kept me alive so I wouldn’t go down to the pit. Sing to the Lord, all you saints, and give thanks.—Psalm XXX.
And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live?—Ezek. XXXVII.
And he said to me, Son of man, can these bones come to life?—Ezek. XXXVII.
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.—1 Thess. V.
Prove everything; cling to what is good.—1 Thess. V.
For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him.—2 Tim. II.
For if we have died with him, we will also live with him.—2 Tim. II.
For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?—Rev. VI.
For the day of his anger has come, and who will be able to stand?—Rev. VI.
And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day; for there shall be no night there.—Rev. XXI.
And the gates won't be closed at all during the day; because there won't be any night there.—Rev. XXI.
THE POWER OF SHORT WORDS.
The Bible.
ACCURACY OF THE BIBLE.
One of the most remarkable results of modern research is the confirmation of the accuracy of the historical books of the Old Testament. The ruins of Babylon and Nineveh shed a light on those books which no skepticism can invalidate. What surprises us most is their marvellous accuracy in minute details, which are now substantiated by recent discoveries. The fact seems to be that when writing was laboriously performed on 104stone, men had an almost superstitious conscientiousness in making their records true, and had not learned the modern indifference to truth which our facile modes of communicating thought have encouraged. A statement to be chiselled on rock must be correct; a statement which can be written in five minutes is likely to embody only first impressions, which may be amended in five minutes thereafter. Hence it comes to pass that we know more exactly many things which took place in the wars between Sennacherib and Hezekiah, than we know what is the precise truth with regard to some of the occurrences in the battle of Bunker’s Hill. Sir Henry Rawlinson, speaking of his researches in Babylon, states that the name and situation of every town of note in ancient Assyria, mentioned in the Bible, can be substantiated by the ruins of that city. The visit of the Queen of Sheba to Solomon is perfectly verified. The prosecution of the researches will be regarded with great interest as corroborating the truth of Scripture.
One of the most significant outcomes of modern research is the confirmation of the historical accuracy of the Old Testament. The ruins of Babylon and Nineveh provide insights into those books that no skepticism can undermine. What surprises us the most is their incredible accuracy in detailed accounts, which are now backed up by recent findings. It seems that when writing was painstakingly done on stone, people had an almost superstitious sense of responsibility to ensure their records were true, unlike the modern indifference to truth that our easy ways of communicating have fostered. A statement carved in rock must be accurate; a statement that can be written in five minutes is likely to capture only first impressions, which can easily be changed shortly after. As a result, we know many details about the wars between Sennacherib and Hezekiah more precisely than we do about some events in the battle of Bunker’s Hill. Sir Henry Rawlinson, discussing his work in Babylon, mentions that the name and location of every significant town in ancient Assyria referenced in the Bible can be confirmed by the ruins of that city. The visit of the Queen of Sheba to Solomon is completely validated. Ongoing research will be closely followed as it supports the truth of Scripture.
An astonishing feature of the word of God is, notwithstanding the time at which its compositions were written, and the multitude of the topics to which it alludes, there is not one physical error,—not one assertion or allusion disproved by the progress of modern science. None of those mistakes which the science of each succeeding age discovered in the books preceding; above all, none of those absurdities which modern astronomy indicates in such great numbers in the writings of the ancients,—in their sacred codes, in their philosophy, and even in the finest pages of the fathers of the Church,—not one of these errors is to be found in any of our sacred books. Nothing there will ever contradict that which, after so many ages, the investigations of the learned world have been able to reveal to us on the state of our globe, or on that of the heavens. Peruse with care the Scriptures from one end to the other, to find such blemishes, and, whilst you apply yourselves to this examination, remember that it is a book which speaks of every thing, which describes nature, which recites its creation, which tells us of the water, of the atmosphere, of the mountains, of the 105animals, and of the plants. It is a book which teaches us the first revolutions of the world, and which also foretells its last. It recounts them in the circumstantial language of history, it extols them in the sublimest strains of poetry, and it chants them in the charms of glowing song. It is a book which is full of Oriental rapture, elevation, variety, and boldness. It is a book which speaks of the heavenly and invisible world, whilst it also speaks of the earth and things visible. It is a book which nearly fifty writers, of every degree of cultivation, of every state, of every condition, and living through the course of fifteen hundred years, have concurred to make. It is a book which was written in the centre of Asia, in the sands of Arabia, in the deserts of Judea, in the court of the Temple of the Jews, in the music-schools of the prophets of Bethel and Jericho, in the sumptuous palaces of Babylon, and on the idolatrous banks of Chebar; and finally, in the centre of Western civilization, in the midst of the Jews and of their ignorance, in the midst of polytheism and its sad philosophy. It is a book whose first writer had been forty years a pupil of the magicians of Egypt, in whose opinion the sun, the stars, and elements were endowed with intelligence, reacted on the elements, and governed the world by a perpetual illuvium. It is a book whose first writer preceded, by more than nine hundred years, the most ancient philosophers of ancient Greece and Asia,—the Thaleses, and the Pythagorases, the Zaleucuses, the Xenophons, and the Confuciuses. It is a book which carries its narrations even to the hierarchies of angels—even to the most distant epochs of the future, and the glorious scenes of the last day. Well: search among its fifty authors, search among its sixty-six books, its eleven hundred and eighty-nine chapters, and its thirty-one thousand one hundred and seventy-three verses; search for only one of those thousand errors which the ancients and moderns have committed in speaking of the heavens or of the earth—of their revolutions, of their elements; search—but you will find none.
An incredible aspect of the word of God is that, despite when its writings were composed and the many topics it covers, there isn't a single physical error—no claim or reference that has been disproven by the advances of modern science. Unlike the mistakes that the science of each era uncovered in the texts of earlier times, especially the numerous absurdities modern astronomy highlights in the writings of ancient thinkers—whether in their sacred texts, philosophy, or even the elegant writings of early Church fathers—none of these errors can be found in any of our sacred scriptures. Nothing within them will ever contradict what the diligent exploration of learned individuals has revealed to us about our planet or the heavens over such a long time. Read through the Scriptures from beginning to end to look for such flaws, and as you engage in this examination, remember it is a book that addresses everything: it describes nature, recounts its creation, and speaks of water, the atmosphere, mountains, animals, and plants. It is a book that teaches us about the world's early revolutions and also predicts its end. It recounts these events in detailed historical language, celebrates them in the highest forms of poetry, and sings about them in beautiful song. It is a book filled with vibrant, grand, diverse, and bold Eastern passion. It speaks of the heavenly and unseen world, as well as the earth and visible things. It is a book created by nearly fifty writers of varying education, status, and life experiences over fifteen hundred years. It was written in various places: in the heart of Asia, the sands of Arabia, the deserts of Judea, the Jewish Temple courts, the music schools of the prophets in Bethel and Jericho, the grand palaces of Babylon, and the idolatrous banks of Chebar; finally, in the core of Western civilization amidst the Jews and their ignorance, surrounded by polytheism and its troubled philosophy. Its first author was a student of Egypt's magicians for forty years, who believed that the sun, stars, and elements possessed intelligence, influencing the elements and governing the world through a continual flow. Its first writer lived over nine hundred years before the earliest philosophers of ancient Greece and Asia—the Thales, Pythagoras, Zaleucus, Xenophon, and Confucius. This book extends its narratives even to the angelic hierarchies and the most distant eras of the future, culminating in the glorious scenes of the final day. So, search among its fifty authors, amongst its sixty-six books, its eleven hundred and eighty-nine chapters, and its thirty-one thousand one hundred and seventy-three verses; search for just one of the many errors that ancient and modern thinkers have made in discussing the heavens or the earth—their revolutions, their elements; search—but you won’t find any.
THE TESTIMONY OF LEARNED MEN.
Sir William Jones’ opinion of the Bible was written on the last leaf of one belonging to him, in these terms:—“I have regularly and attentively read these Holy Scriptures, and am of opinion that this volume, independently of its Divine origin, contains more sublimity and beauty, more pure morality, more important history and finer strains of poetry and eloquence, than can be collected from all other books, in whatever age or language they may have been composed.”
Sir William Jones’ opinion of the Bible was written on the last page of his copy, stating: “I have consistently and thoughtfully read these Holy Scriptures, and I believe that this book, aside from its Divine origin, has more depth and beauty, more pure morality, more significant history, and more exquisite poetry and eloquence than can be found in all other books, no matter their age or language.”
Rousseau says, “This Divine Book, the only one which is indispensable to the Christian, need only be read with reflection to inspire love for its author, and the most ardent desire to obey its precepts. Never did virtue speak so sweet a language; never was the most profound wisdom expressed with so much energy and simplicity. No one can arise from its perusal without feeling himself better than he was before.”
Rousseau says, “This Divine Book, the one book that every Christian really needs, only has to be read thoughtfully to ignite a love for its author and create a strong desire to follow its teachings. Virtue has never spoken in such a sweet way; never has deep wisdom been expressed with so much power and simplicity. No one can finish reading it without feeling improved as a person.”
Wilberforce, in his dying hour, said to a friend, “Read the Bible. Let no religious book take its place. Through all my perplexities and distresses, I never read any other book, and I never knew the want of any other. It has been my hourly study; and all my knowledge of the doctrines, and all my acquaintance with the experience and realities, of religion, have been derived from the Bible only. I think religious people do not read the Bible enough. Books about religion may be useful enough, but they will not do instead of the simple truth of the Bible.”
Wilberforce, in his final moments, said to a friend, “Read the Bible. No other religious book should take its place. Throughout all my confusion and troubles, I never read any other book, and I never felt the need for one. It has been my constant study; and all my understanding of the doctrines, as well as all my knowledge of the experiences and realities of religion, have come solely from the Bible. I believe religious people don’t read the Bible enough. Books about religion might be helpful, but they can't replace the simple truth of the Bible.”
Lord Bolingbroke declared that “the Gospel is, in all cases, one continued lesson of the strictest morality, of justice, of benevolence, and of universal charity.”
Lord Bolingbroke stated that “the Gospel is, in every instance, a consistent message of the highest morality, justice, kindness, and universal love.”
Similar testimony has been accorded in the strongest terms by Locke, Newton, Boyle, Selden, Salmasius, Sir Walter Scott, and numberless others.
Similar testimony has been given in the strongest terms by Locke, Newton, Boyle, Selden, Salmasius, Walter Scott, and countless others.
Daniel Webster, having been commended for his eloquence on a memorable occasion, replied, “If any thing I have ever said or written deserves the feeblest encomiums of my fellow-countrymen, 107I have no hesitation in declaring that for their partiality I am indebted, solely indebted, to the daily and attentive perusal of the Holy Scriptures, the source of all true poetry and eloquence, as well as of all good and all comfort.”
Daniel Webster, praised for his eloquence on a notable occasion, responded, “If anything I’ve ever said or written deserves even the slightest praise from my fellow countrymen, 107 I can confidently say that I owe my success entirely to the daily and careful reading of the Holy Scriptures, which is the source of all true poetry and eloquence, as well as all that is good and comforting.”
John Quincy Adams, in a letter to his son in 1811, says, “I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year. My custom is to read four or five chapters every morning, immediately after rising from my bed. It employs about an hour of my time, and seems to me the most suitable manner of beginning the day. In whatsoever light we regard the Bible, whether with reference to revelation, to history, or to morality, it is an invaluable and inexhaustible mine of knowledge and virtue.”
John Quincy Adams, in a letter to his son in 1811, says, “For many years, I've made it a habit to read through the Bible once a year. I usually read four or five chapters every morning, right after getting out of bed. It takes about an hour of my time and feels like the best way to start my day. No matter how we look at the Bible—whether it’s for its revelations, historical context, or moral lessons—it’s an invaluable and endless source of knowledge and virtue.”
Addison says, in relation to the poetry of the Bible, “After perusing the Book of Psalms, let a judge of the beauties of poetry read a literal translation of Horace or Pindar, and he will find in these two last such an absurdity and confusion of style, with such a comparative poverty of imagination, as will make him sensible of the vast superiority of Scripture style.”
Addison remarks about the poetry in the Bible, “After going through the Book of Psalms, someone who understands the beauty of poetry should read a literal translation of Horace or Pindar. They will discover such ridiculousness and disorder in style, along with a noticeable lack of imagination, that it will make them truly appreciate the immense superiority of the Scripture style.”
Lord Byron, in a letter to Mrs. Sheppard, said, in reference to the truth of Christianity, “Indisputably, the firm believers in the Gospel have a great advantage over all others, for this simple reason:—that, if true, they will have their reward hereafter; and if there be no hereafter, they can be but with the infidel in his eternal sleep, having had the assistance of an exalted hope through life, without subsequent disappointment, since (at the worst, for them) out of nothing nothing can arise,—not even sorrow.” The following lines of Walter Scott are said to have been copied in his Bible:—
Lord Byron, in a letter to Mrs. Sheppard, stated regarding the validity of Christianity, “Clearly, those who firmly believe in the Gospel have a significant advantage over everyone else, for this straightforward reason:—if it is true, they will receive their reward in the afterlife; and if there is no afterlife, they will simply share the same fate as the nonbeliever in his eternal rest, having experienced the support of a noble hope throughout their lives, without facing subsequent disappointment, since (at worst, for them) from nothing, nothing can arise—not even sorrow.” The following lines from Walter Scott are said to have been copied in his Bible:—
ENGLISH BIBLE TRANSLATIONS.
Our version of the Bible is to be loved and prized for this, as for a thousand other things,—that it has preserved a purity of meaning to many terms of natural objects. Without this holdfast, our vitiated imaginations would refine away language to mere abstractions. Hence the French have lost their poetical language; and Blanco White says the same thing has happened to the Spanish.—Coleridge.
Our version of the Bible should be cherished and valued for this reason, along with many others—it has maintained a clear and pure meaning for many terms related to natural objects. Without this anchor, our distorted imaginations would turn language into mere abstractions. As a result, the French have lost their poetic language; and Blanco White claims the same has happened to the Spanish. —Coleridge.
Wickliffe’s Bible.—This was the first translation made into the language. It was translated by John Wickliffe, about the year 1384, but never printed, though there are manuscript copies of it in several public libraries.
Wickliffe’s Bible.—This was the first translation made into the language. It was translated by John Wickliffe around the year 1384, but it was never printed, although there are manuscript copies of it in several public libraries.
Tyndale’s Bible.—The translation of William Tyndale, assisted by Miles Coverdale, was the first printed Bible in the English language. The New Testament was published in 1526. It was revised and republished in 1530. In 1532, Tyndale and his associates finished the whole Bible, except the Apocrypha, and printed it abroad.
Tyndale’s Bible.—The translation by William Tyndale, with help from Miles Coverdale, was the first printed Bible in English. The New Testament came out in 1526. It was updated and released again in 1530. In 1532, Tyndale and his team completed the entire Bible, excluding the Apocrypha, and printed it overseas.
Matthews’ Bible.—While Tyndale was preparing a second edition of the Bible, he was taken up and burned for heresy in Flanders. On his death, Coverdale and John Rogers revised it, and added a translation of the Apocrypha. It was dedicated to Henry VIII., in 1537, and was printed at Hamburg, under the borrowed name of Thomas Matthews, whence it was called Matthews’ Bible.
Matthews’ Bible.—While Tyndale was working on a second edition of the Bible, he was arrested and executed for heresy in Flanders. After his death, Coverdale and John Rogers revised it and added a translation of the Apocrypha. It was dedicated to Henry VIII in 1537 and printed in Hamburg under the pseudonym Thomas Matthews, which is why it’s known as Matthews’ Bible.
Cranmer’s Bible.—This was the first Bible printed by authority in England, and publicly set up in the churches. It was Tyndale’s version, revised by Coverdale, and examined by Cranmer, who added a preface to it, whence it was called Cranmer’s Bible. It was printed by Grafton, in large folio, in 1539. After being adopted, suppressed, and restored under successive reigns, a new edition was brought out in 1562.
Cranmer’s Bible.—This was the first Bible officially printed in England and displayed in churches. It was Tyndale’s version, updated by Coverdale, and reviewed by Cranmer, who wrote a preface for it, hence it was called Cranmer’s Bible. It was printed by Grafton in a large format in 1539. After being accepted, banned, and reinstated during various reigns, a new edition was published in 1562.
The Geneva Bible.—In 1557, the whole Bible in quarto was printed at Geneva by Rowland Harte, some of the English refugees continuing in that city solely for that purpose. The 109translators were Bishop Coverdale, Anthony Gilby, William Whittingham, Christopher Woodman, Thomas Sampson, and Thomas Cole—to whom some add John Knox, John Bodleigh, and John Pullain, all zealous Calvinists, both in doctrine and discipline. But the chief and most learned of them were the first three. Of this translation there were about thirty editions, mostly printed by the King’s and Queen’s printers, from 1560 to 1616. In this version, the first distinction in verses was made. The following is a copy of the title-page of the edition of 1559, omitting two quotations from the Scriptures:—
The Geneva Bible.—In 1557, the entire Bible was printed in quarto size in Geneva by Rowland Harte, with some English refugees staying in the city specifically for this purpose. The 109translators included Bishop Coverdale, Anthony Gilby, William Whittingham, Christopher Woodman, Thomas Sampson, and Thomas Cole, with some also mentioning John Knox, John Bodleigh, and John Pullain, all passionate Calvinists in both doctrine and practice. However, the most prominent and knowledgeable among them were the first three. There were around thirty editions of this translation, primarily printed by the King's and Queen's printers, from 1560 to 1616. This version was the first to introduce verses as distinct sections. Below is a copy of the title page from the 1559 edition, excluding two quotations from the Scriptures:—
To some editions of the Geneva Bible, one of which is this of 1599, is subjoined Beza’s translation of the new text into English by L. Tomson, who was under-secretary to Sir Francis Walsingham. But, though he pretends to translate from Beza, he has seldom varied a word from the Geneva translation. Dr. Geddes gives honorable testimony to the last Geneva version, as he does not hesitate to declare that he thinks it in general better than that of the King James translators. Our readers will hardly agree with him when they read some extracts from it appended in a succeeding paragraph.
To some editions of the Geneva Bible, including this one from 1599, Beza's translation of the new text into English by L. Tomson, who served as under-secretary to Sir Francis Walsingham, is attached. However, despite claiming to translate from Beza, he rarely changes a word from the Geneva translation. Dr. Geddes gives high praise to the latest Geneva version, stating that he believes it is generally better than that of the King James translators. Our readers are unlikely to agree with him when they read some excerpts from it included in the next paragraph.
110The typographical appearance of this work is quite a curiosity. Like most of the old books, it is well printed, and is ornamented with the pen. The head and foot rules, as well as the division of the columns, are made with the pen in red ink. The title-page is quite profusely ornamented with red lines.
110The way this work looks is really interesting. Like many old books, it’s printed well and decorated with the pen. The top and bottom lines, along with the column divisions, are done in red ink. The title page is decorated heavily with red lines.
This translation of the Bible is known as “the breeches Bible,” from the following rendering of Genesis iii. 7:—
This translation of the Bible is called "the breeches Bible," from the following version of Genesis 3:7:—
Then the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig tree leaves together, and made themselves breeches.
Then their eyes were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed together fig leaves and made themselves clothes.
A peculiarity in this Bible is the substitution of the letter v for u, and, vice versa, u for v. The name of Eve is printed Heuah (Hevah); Cain is printed Kain; Abel, Habel; Enoch, Henock; Isaac, Ishak; Hebrew, Ebrew, &c. The translations of many of the passages differ materially from our received version. The following will serve as illustrations:—
A unique feature of this Bible is the use of the letter v instead of u, and vice versa, u instead of v. The name Eve appears as Heuah (Hevah); Cain is spelled Kain; Abel as Habel; Enoch as Henock; Isaac as Ishak; Hebrew as Ebrew, etc. The translations of many verses vary significantly from the version we commonly use. Here are some examples:—
Thus he cast out man; and at the East side of the garden of Eden he set the cherubims, and the blade of a sword shaken, to keep the way of the tree of life.—Genesis iii. 24.
Thus he expelled man; and on the east side of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and the flashing blade of a sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.—Genesis iii. 24.
Then it repented the Lorde that he had made man in the earth, and he was sorie in his heart.—Gen. vi. 6.
Then the Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and he was saddened in his heart.—Gen. vi. 6.
Make thee an Arkee of pine trees; thou shalt make cabins in the Arkee, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. Thou shalt make it with the lower, second and third roome.—Gen. vi. 14, 10.
Make yourself an ark out of pine trees; you shall build cabins in the ark, and you shall coat it inside and out with pitch. You shall make it with three levels: the lower, the middle, and the upper. —Gen. vi. 14, 10.
And he said, Hagar, Sarais maide, whence comest thou? & whether wilt thou go? and she said, I flee from my dame Sarai.—Gen. xvi. 8.
And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, where are you coming from? and where are you going? and she said, I'm running away from my mistress Sarai.—Gen. xvi. 8.
When Abram was ninetie years old & nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am God all sufficient, walke before me, and be thou upright.—Gen. xvii. 1.
When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless." —Gen. xvii. 1.
Then Abraham rose vp from the sight of his corps, and talked with the Hittites, saying, I am a stranger and a forreiner among you, &c.—Gen. xxiii. 3, 4.
Then Abraham got up from beside his dead and spoke to the Hittites, saying, "I am a foreigner and a stranger among you," etc.—Gen. xxiii. 3, 4.
Then Abraham yielded the spirit and died in a good age, an olde man, and of great yeeres, and was gathered to his people.—Gen. xxv. 8.
Then Abraham took his last breath and died at a good age, an old man, and very old, and was reunited with his family.—Gen. xxv. 8.
As many were astonied at thee (his visage was so deformed of men, and his forme of the sonnes of men) so shall hee spunckle many nations.—Isa. lii. 14. This chapter has but fourteen verses in it.
As many were amazed at you (his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man, and his form was different from that of the children of men), so he will sprinkle many nations.—Isa. lii. 14. This chapter has only fourteen verses in it.
111Can the blacke Moore change his skinne? or the leopard his spots?—Jer. xiii. 23.
111Can a black person change their skin? Or a leopard its spots?—Jer. xiii. 23.
And after those days we trussed up our fardles, and went up to Jerusalem.—Acts xxi. 15.
And after those days, we packed our bags and went up to Jerusalem.—Acts xxi. 15.
But Jesus sayde vnto her, Let the children first bee fed; for it is not good to take the childrens bread, and to cast it unto whelps. Then shee answered, and said unto him, Truthe, Lorde; yet in deede the whelps eate under the table of the childrens crummes.—Mark vii. 27, 28.
But Jesus said to her, "Let the children be fed first; it's not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." She replied, "True, Lord; but even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs." —Mark 7:27, 28.
And she broght forth her fyrst begotten sonne, and wrapped him in swadlyng clothes, and layd him in a cretche, bccause there was no rowme for them with in the ynne.—Luke ii. 7.
And she gave birth to her firstborn son, wrapped him in cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.—Luke ii. 7.
The Bishops’ Bible.—Archbishop Parker engaged bishops and other learned men to bring out a new translation. They did so in 1568, in large folio. It made what was afterwards called the great English Bible, and commonly the Bishops’ Bible. In 1589 it was published in octavo, in small, but fine black letter. In it the chapters were divided into verses, but without any breaks for them.
The Bishops’ Bible.—Archbishop Parker asked bishops and other knowledgeable individuals to create a new translation. They finished it in 1568, in a large folio format. This became what was later known as the great English Bible, and is commonly referred to as the Bishops’ Bible. In 1589, it was published in octavo, in a smaller, but high-quality black letter style. In this version, the chapters were split into verses, but there were no breaks for them.
Matthew Parker’s Bible.—The Bishops’ Bible underwent some corrections, and was printed in large folio in 1572, and called Matthew Parker’s Bible. The version was used in the churches for forty years.
Matthew Parker’s Bible.—The Bishops’ Bible was revised and printed in a large folio edition in 1572, known as Matthew Parker’s Bible. This version was used in churches for forty years.
The Douay Bible.—The New Testament was brought out by the Roman Catholics in 1582, and called the Rhemish New Testament. It was condemned by the Queen of England, and copies were seized by her authority and destroyed. In 1609 and 1610, the Old Testament was added, and the whole published at Douay, hence called the Douay Bible.
The Douay Bible.—The New Testament was released by the Roman Catholics in 1582, known as the Rhemish New Testament. It was condemned by the Queen of England, and copies were confiscated and destroyed by her authority. In 1609 and 1610, the Old Testament was added, and the complete work was published in Douay, hence called the Douay Bible.
King James’s Bible.—The version now in use was brought out by King James’s authority in 1611. Fifty-four learned men were employed to accomplish the work of revising it. From death or other cause, seven of them failed to enter upon it. The remaining forty-seven were ranged under six divisions, and had different portions of the Bible assigned to those divisions. They commenced their task in 1607. After some three or four years of diligent labor, the whole was completed. This version was generally adopted, and the other translations fell into disuse. It has continued in use until the present time.
King James’s Bible.—The version we use today was published under King James’s authority in 1611. Fifty-four knowledgeable men were hired to revise it. Due to death or other reasons, seven of them didn't participate. The remaining forty-seven were organized into six groups, each assigned different sections of the Bible. They started their work in 1607. After about three or four years of hard work, the entire project was completed. This version became widely accepted, and other translations fell out of use. It has remained in use up to the present day.
DISSECTION OF THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.
Books in the Old Testament | 39 | In the New | 27 | Total | 66 |
Chapters | 929 | In the New | 260 | Total | 1,189 |
Verses | 23,214 | In the New | 7,959 | Total | 31,173 |
Words | 592,439 | In the New | 181,253 | Total | 773,692 |
Letters | 2,728,100 | In the New | 838,380 | Total | 3,566,480 |
APOCRYPHA. | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Chapters | 183 | Verses | 6,081 | Words | 152,185 |
The middle chapter and the least in the Bible is Psalm cxvii.
The middle chapter and the shortest in the Bible is Psalm 117.
The middle verse is the eighth of Psalm cxviii.
The middle verse is the eighth of Psalm 118.
The middle line is in 2d Chronicles, 4th chapter, 16th verse.
The middle line is in 2 Chronicles, chapter 4, verse 16.
The word and occurs in the Old Testament 35,543 times.
The word and appears in the Old Testament 35,543 times.
The same in the New Testament, 10,684.
The same in the New Testament, 10,684.
The word Jehovah occurs 6,855 times.
The word Jehovah appears 6,855 times.
OLD TESTAMENT.
The middle book is Proverbs.
The central book is Proverbs.
The middle chapter is Job xxix.
The middle chapter is Job 29.
The middle verse is in 2d Chronicles, 20th chapter, between the 17th and 18th verses.
The middle verse is in 2 Chronicles, chapter 20, between verses 17 and 18.
The least verse is in 1st Chronicles, 1st chapter, and 25th verse.
The shortest verse is in 1 Chronicles, chapter 1, verse 25.
NEW TESTAMENT.
The middle book is the 2d epistle to Thessalonians.
The middle book is the 2nd letter to the Thessalonians.
The middle chapter is between the 13th and 14th of Romans.
The middle chapter is between the 13th and 14th of Romans.
The middle verse is the 17th chapter of Acts, and 17th verse.
The middle verse is Acts 17, verse 17.
The least verse is the 11th chapter of John, verse 35.
The shortest verse is John 11:35.
The 21st verse of the 7th chapter of Ezra has all the letters of the alphabet in it.
The 21st verse of the 7th chapter of Ezra contains every letter of the alphabet.
The 19th chapter of the 2d book of Kings, and the 37th of Isaiah, are alike.
The 19th chapter of the 2nd book of Kings and the 37th chapter of Isaiah are similar.
N.B.—Three years are said to have been spent in this curious but idle calculation.
N.B.—It’s said that three years were spent on this odd but pointless calculation.
DISTINCTIONS IN THE GOSPELS.
1. In regard to their external features and characteristics:
1. In terms of their outward appearance and traits:
The point of view of the first gospel is mainly Israelitic; of the second, Gentile; of the third, universal; of the fourth, Christian.
The perspective of the first gospel is mainly Israeli; the second is for Gentiles; the third is universal; and the fourth is Christian.
The general aspect, and so to speak, physiognomy of the first, mainly, is oriental; of the second, Roman; of the third, Greek; of the fourth, spiritual.
The overall look, and you could say the character, of the first is mainly Eastern; of the second, Roman; of the third, Greek; and of the fourth, spiritual.
The style of the first is stately and rhythmical; of the second, terse and precise; of the third, calm and copious; of the fourth, artless and colloquial.
The style of the first is formal and rhythmic; of the second, brief and clear; of the third, serene and detailed; of the fourth, simple and conversational.
The striking characteristic of the first is symmetry; of the second compression; of the third, order; of the fourth, system.
The main feature of the first is symmetry; of the second, compression; of the third, order; of the fourth, system.
The thought and language of the first are both Hebraistic; of the third, both Hellenistic; while in the second, thought is often accidental though the language is Hebraistic; and in the fourth, the language is Hellenistic, but the thought Hebraistic.
The thought and language of the first are both Hebraic; the third has both Hellenistic thought and language; in the second, the thought is often random, though the language is Hebraic; and in the fourth, the language is Hellenistic, but the thought is Hebraic.
2. In respect to their subject-matter and contents:
2. Regarding their subject matter and content:
In the first gospel, narrative; in the second, memoirs; in the third, history; in the fourth, dramatic portraiture.
In the first gospel, it's a story; in the second, it's personal reflections; in the third, it's historical account; in the fourth, it's a dramatic depiction.
In the first we often have the record of events in their accomplishment; in the second, events in detail; in the third, events in their connection; in the fourth, events in relation to the teaching springing from them.
In the first, we often have a record of events as they happen; in the second, events are described in detail; in the third, events are shown in their connections; in the fourth, events are considered in relation to the lessons that come from them.
Thus in the first we often meet with the notice of impressions; in the second, of facts; in the third, of motives; in the fourth, of words spoken.
Thus in the first, we often come across mentions of impressions; in the second, of facts; in the third, of motives; and in the fourth, of spoken words.
And, lastly, the record of the first is mainly collective, and often antithetical; of the second, graphic and circumstantial; of the third, didactic and reflective; of the fourth, selective and supplemental.
And finally, the record of the first is mostly collective and often contradictory; of the second, vivid and detailed; of the third, educational and thoughtful; of the fourth, selective and additional.
3. In respect to their portraiture of our Lord:
3. Regarding their depiction of our Lord:
The first presents him to us mainly as the Messiah; the second, mainly as the God-man; the third, as the Redeemer; the fourth, as the only begotten Son of God.
The first shows him to us mainly as the Messiah; the second, primarily as the God-man; the third, as the Redeemer; the fourth, as the only begotten Son of God.
BOOKS MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE NOW LOST OR UNKNOWN.
1. The Prophecy of Enoch. See Epistle to Jude, 14.
1. The Prophecy of Enoch. See Letter to Jude, 14.
2. The Book of the Wars of the Lord. See Numb. xxi. 14.
2. The Book of the Wars of the Lord. See Num. 21:14.
3. The Prophetical Gospel of Eve, which relates to the Amours of the Sons of God with the Daughters of Men. See Origen cont. Celsum, Tertul. &c.
3. The Prophetic Gospel of Eve, which tells about the romantic relationships between the Sons of God and the Daughters of Men. See Origen cont. Celsum, Tertul. &c.
4. The Book of Jasher. See Joshua x. 13; and 2 Samuel i. 18.
4. The Book of Jasher. See Joshua 10:13; and 2 Samuel 1:18.
5. The Book of Iddo the Seer. See 2 Chronicles ix. 29, and xii. 15.
5. The Book of Iddo the Seer. See 2 Chronicles 9:29 and 12:15.
6. The Book of Nathan the Prophet. See as above.
6. The Book of Nathan the Prophet. See above.
7. The Prophecies of Ahijah, the Shilonite. See as above.
7. The Prophecies of Ahijah, the Shilonite. See above.
8. The acts of Rehoboam, in Book of Shemaiah. See 2 Chronicles xii. 15.
8. The actions of Rehoboam, in the Book of Shemaiah. See 2 Chronicles 12:15.
9. The Book of Jehu the Son of Hanani. See 2 Chronicles xx. 34.
9. The Book of Jehu, son of Hanani. See 2 Chronicles xx. 34.
10. The Five Books of Solomon, treating on the nature of trees, beasts, fowl, serpents, and fishes. See 1 Kings iv. 33.
10. The Five Books of Solomon, which discuss the nature of trees, animals, birds, snakes, and fish. See 1 Kings iv. 33.
11. The 151st Psalm.
The 151st Psalm.
THE WORD “SELAH.”
The translators of the Bible have left the Hebrew word Selah, which occurs so often in the Psalms, as they found it, and of course the English reader often asks his minister, or some learned friend, what it means. And the minister or learned friend has most often been obliged to confess ignorance, because it is a matter in regard to which the most learned have by no means been of one mind. The Targums, and most of the Jewish commentators, give to the word the meaning of eternally forever. Rabbi Kimchi regards it as a sign to elevate the voice. The authors of the Septuagint translation appear to have considered it a musical or rhythmical note. Herder inclines to the opinion that it indicates a change of tone, which is expressed either by increase of force, or by a transition into another time and mode. Matheson thinks it is a musical note, equivalent, perhaps, to the word repeat. According to Luther and others, 115it means silence. Gesenius explains it to mean, “Let the instruments play and the singers stop.” Wocher regards it as equivalent to sursum corda,—up, my soul! Sommer, after examining all the seventy-four passages in which the word occurs, recognizes in every case “an actual appeal or summons to Jehovah.” They are calls for aid, and prayers to be heard, expressed either with entire directness, or if not in the imperative, Hear, Jehovah! or Awake, Jehovah, and the like, still, earnest addresses to God that he would remember and hear, &c. The word itself he considers indicative of a blast of trumpets by the priests, Selah being an abridged expression for Higgaion Selah,—Higgaion indicating the sound of the stringed instruments, and Selah a vigorous blast of trumpets.
The translators of the Bible left the Hebrew word Selah, which appears frequently in the Psalms, as they found it. Naturally, English readers often ask their minister or a knowledgeable friend what it means. Unfortunately, ministers or learned friends frequently have to admit they don’t know because even the most knowledgeable people have not been in agreement about its meaning. The Targums and most Jewish commentators interpret the word as eternally forever. Rabbi Kimchi sees it as a cue to raise the voice. The authors of the Septuagint translation seem to have viewed it as a musical or rhythmic note. Herder leans toward the idea that it signals a change in tone, either through increased intensity or a shift into a different time and mode. Matheson believes it is a musical note, possibly meaning repeat. According to Luther and others, 115 it signifies silence. Gesenius explains it as, “Let the instruments play and the singers stop.” Wocher considers it similar to Lift up your hearts,—up, my soul! Sommer, after examining all seventy-four occurrences of the word, identifies it in each case as “an actual appeal or summons to Jehovah.” These are calls for help and prayers for attention, expressed either directly, such as "Hear, Jehovah!" or "Awake, Jehovah," or other similar earnest pleas to God for remembrance and response. He views the word as suggestive of a trumpet blast by the priests, with Selah being a shortened phrase for Higgaion Selah—Higgaion representing the sound of stringed instruments and Selah a strong trumpet blast.
HEXAMETERS IN THE BIBLE.
In the Psalms.
In the New Testament.
Mr. Coleridge, whose enthusiastic and reverential admiration of the rhetorical beauty and poetic grandeur with which the Bible abounds,—all the more beautiful and the more sublime because casual and unsought by the sacred writers,—took great delight in pointing out the hexametrical rhythm of numerous passages, particularly in the book of Isaiah:—
Mr. Coleridge, who had a passionate and respectful admiration for the rhetorical beauty and poetic greatness found in the Bible—made even more striking because it was unplanned and unintentional by the sacred writers—loved highlighting the hexametrical rhythm in many passages, especially in the book of Isaiah:—
116Winer points out the following hexameters in the original Greek version of the New Testament:—
116Winer highlights the following hexameters in the original Greek version of the New Testament:—
PARALLELISM OF THE HEBREW POETRY.
The prominent characteristic of the Hebrew poetry is what Bishop Lowth entitles Parallelism, that is, a certain equality, resemblance, or relationship, between the members of each period; so that in two lines, or members of the same period, things shall answer to things, and words to words, as if fitted to each other by a kind of rule or measure. The Psalms, Proverbs, Solomon’s Song, Job, and all the Prophets, except Daniel and Jonah, abound with instances.
The main feature of Hebrew poetry is what Bishop Lowth calls Parallelism, which refers to a kind of equality, resemblance, or relationship between the parts of each section. In two lines or parts of the same section, ideas correspond to ideas, and words correspond to words, as if they were made to fit together by a certain guideline or pattern. The Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Job, and all the Prophets, except for Daniel and Jonah, are filled with examples.
It is in a great measure owing to this form of composition that our admirable authorized version, though executed in prose, retains so much of a poetical cast; for, being strictly word for word after the original, the form and order of the original sentences are preserved; which, by this artificial structure, this regular alternation and correspondence of parts, makes the ear sensible of a departure from the common style and tone of prose.
It’s largely because of this style of writing that our excellent authorized version, even though it’s written in prose, still has a poetic quality. Since it follows the original text word for word, the structure and order of the original sentences are maintained. This crafted structure, with its consistent pattern and relationship between parts, makes the ear aware that it deviates from regular prose style and tone.
The different kinds of parallels are illustrated in the following examples:—
The various types of parallels are shown in the following examples:—
Parallels Antithetic.—Prov. x. 1, 7.
Parallels Synthetic.—Prov. vi. 16–19.
Constructive.—Psalm xix. 7–9.
Parallels Synonymous.—Psalm xx. 1–4.
Gradational.—Psalm i. 1.
Parallels Introverted.—Prov. xxiii. 15, 16.
It may be objected to Hebrew poetry, says Gilfillan, that it has no regular rhythm except a rude parallelism. What then? Must it be, therefore, altogether destitute of music? Has not the rain a rhythm of its own, as it patters on the pane, or sinks on the bosom of its kindred pool? Has not the wind a harmony, as it bows the groaning woods, or howls over the mansions of the dead? Have not the waves of ocean their wild bass? Has not the thunder its own deep and dreadful organ-pipe? Do they speak in rhyme? Do they murmur in blank verse? Who taught them to begin in Iambics, or to close in Alexandrines? And shall not God’s own speech have a peculiar note, no more barbarous than is the voice of the old woods or the older cataracts?
It might be said about Hebrew poetry, according to Gilfillan, that it lacks a regular rhythm aside from a simple parallelism. So what? Does that mean it has no music at all? Doesn’t the rain have its own rhythm as it taps on the window or falls into the nearby pool? Doesn’t the wind create harmony as it sways the creaking trees or howls over the graves? Don’t the ocean waves have their wild bass? Doesn’t thunder have its own deep and terrifying sound? Do they rhyme? Do they flow in blank verse? Who taught them to start with iambics or to end with Alexandrines? And shouldn’t God’s own voice have a unique tone, just as refined as the voice of ancient woods or the timeless waterfalls?
118Besides, to call parallelism a coarse or uncouth rhythm, betrays an ignorance of its nature. Without entering at large on the subject of Hebrew versification, we may ask any one who has paid even a slight attention to the subject, if the effect of parallels such as the foregoing examples, perpetually intermingled as they are, be not to enliven the composition, often to give distinctness and precision to the train of thought, to impress the sentiments upon the memory, and to give out a harmony which, if inferior to rhyme in the compression produced by the difficulty (surmounted) of uniting varied sense with recurring sound, and in the pleasure of surprise; and to blank verse, in freedom, in the effects produced by the variety of pause, and in the force of long and linked passages, as well as of insulated lines, is less slavish than the one, and less arbitrary than the other? Unlike rhyme, its point is more that of thought than of language; unlike blank verse, it never can, however managed, degenerate into heavy prose. Such is parallelism, which generally forms the differential quality of the poetry of Scripture, although there are many passages in it destitute of this aid, and which yet, in the spirit they breathe, and the metaphors by which they are garnished, are genuine and high poetry. And there can be little question that in the parallelism of the Hebrew tongue we can trace many of the peculiarities of modern writing, and in it find the fountain of the rhythm, the pomp and antithesis, which lend often such grace, and always such energy, to the style of Johnson, of Junius, of Burke, of Hall, of Chalmers,—indeed, of most writers who rise to the grand swells of prose-poetry.
118Also, calling parallelism a rough or awkward rhythm shows a lack of understanding of its essence. Without going into detail about Hebrew verse, we can ask anyone who has even a passing interest in the topic if the effect of parallels like the ones mentioned, which are constantly mixed in, doesn't actually make the writing more lively, often clarifying and sharpening the flow of ideas, helping to imprint the feelings on the memory, and creating a harmony that, while not as tightly woven as rhyme due to the challenge of combining different meanings with recurring sounds and the surprise of it, and not as free as blank verse in its use of pauses and the impact of long connected passages as well as standalone lines, is less restrictive than the former and less random than the latter. Unlike rhyme, its emphasis is more on thought than on language; unlike blank verse, it can never become clunky prose, no matter how it’s structured. Such is parallelism, which typically defines the unique quality of Biblical poetry, even though many passages lack this feature yet still embody genuine and elevated poetry through their spirit and the metaphors that enrich them. There’s little doubt that within the parallelism of the Hebrew language, we can trace many characteristics of modern writing, finding the source of the rhythm, grandeur, and contrast that often bestow grace and always bring power to the styles of Johnson, Junius, Burke, Hall, Chalmers—indeed, to most writers who achieve the sweeping grandeur of prose poetry.
SIMILARITY OF SOUND.
There is a remarkable similarity of sound in a passage in the Second Book of Kings, ch. iii. v. 4, to the metrical rhythm of Campbell’s Battle of the Baltic:—
There is a striking similarity in sound in a passage from the Second Book of Kings, ch. iii. v. 4, to the rhythmic meter of Campbell’s Battle of the Baltic:—
PARALLEL PASSAGES BETWEEN SHAKSPEARE AND THE BIBLE.
An English minister, Rev. T. R. Eaton, has written a work entitled Shakspeare and the Bible, for the purpose of showing how much Shakspeare was indebted to the Bible for many of his illustrations, rhythms, and even modes of feeling. The author affirms that, in storing his mind, the immortal bard went first to the word, and then to the works, of God. In shaping the truths derived from these sources, he obeyed the instinct implanted by Him who had formed him Shakspeare. Hence his power of inspiring us with sublime affection for that which is properly good, and of chilling us with horror by his fearful delineations of evil. Shakspeare perpetually reminds us of the Bible, not by direct quotations, indirect allusion, borrowed idioms, or palpable imitation of phrase or style, but by an elevation of thought and simplicity of diction which are not to be found elsewhere. A passage, for instance, rises in our thoughts, unaccompanied by a clear recollection of its origin. Our first impression is that it must belong either to the Bible or Shakspeare. No other author excites the same feeling in an equal degree. In Shakspeare’s plays religion is a vital and active principle, sustaining the good, tormenting the wicked, and influencing the hearts and lives of all.
An English minister, Rev. T. R. Eaton, has written a book titled Shakespeare and the Bible, aimed at showing how much Shakespeare relied on the Bible for many of his illustrations, rhythms, and even feelings. The author claims that, in filling his mind, the immortal bard first turned to the word, and then to the works, of God. In shaping the truths from these sources, he followed the instinct given by the one who created him, Shakespeare. This is why he has the ability to inspire us with deep affection for what is truly good and to chill us with horror through his terrifying depictions of evil. Shakespeare constantly reminds us of the Bible, not through direct quotes, indirect references, borrowed phrases, or clear imitation of style, but through a lift in thought and simplicity of language that can't be found elsewhere. For example, a passage may come to mind without a clear memory of its source. Our first thought is that it must belong to either the Bible or Shakespeare. No other author evokes the same feeling to such an extent. In Shakespeare’s plays, religion is a vital and active force, supporting the good, tormenting the wicked, and influencing the hearts and lives of everyone.
Although the writer carries his leading idea too far, by straining passages to multiply the instances in which Shakspeare has imitated scriptural sentences in thought and construction, and by leading his readers to infer that it was from the Bible Shakspeare drew not only his best thoughts, but in fact his whole power of inspiring us with affection for good and horror for evil, it is certainly true that some hundreds of Biblical allusions, however brief and simple, show Shakspeare’s conversance with the Bible, his fondness for it, and the almost unconscious 120recurrence of it in his mind. The following examples of his parallelisms will be found interesting:—
Although the writer takes his main idea too far by forcing passages to show more instances where Shakespeare has mimicked biblical phrases in both thought and form, leading readers to believe that Shakespeare gained not only his best ideas but essentially his entire ability to inspire love for good and repulsion for evil from the Bible, it’s definitely true that several hundred biblical references, no matter how brief or simple, reveal Shakespeare's familiarity with the Bible, his fondness for it, and its almost unconscious presence in his thoughts. The following examples of his parallels will be interesting:—
But though I be rude in speech.—2 Cor. xi. 6.
But even if I'm not eloquent in my speech.—2 Cor. xi. 6.
Consume thine eyes and grieve thine heart.—1 Sam. ii. 33.
Consume your eyes and grieve your heart.—1 Sam. ii. 33.
Thou hast brought me into the dust of death.—Ps. xxii. 15.
Thou hast brought me into the dust of death.—Ps. xxii. 15.
Dusty death alludes to the sentence pronounced against Adam:—
Dusty death refers to the sentence given to Adam:—
Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.—Gen. iii. 19.
Dust you are, and to dust you shall return.—Gen. iii. 19.
Man walketh in a vain show.—Ps. xxxix. 6.
Man walks in a vain show.—Ps. xxxix. 6.
Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me.—Sol. Song, i. 6.
Look away from me because I am dark-skinned, because the sun has shone on me. —Sol. Song, i. 6.
I smote him, I caught him by his beard and smote him, and slew him.—1 Sam. xvii. 35.
I struck him, I grabbed him by his beard and hit him, and killed him.—1 Sam. xvii. 35.
Opened Job his mouth and cursed his day; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months.—Job iii. 1, 6.
Opened Job his mouth and cursed his day; let it not be joined to the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months.—Job iii. 1, 6.
Hamlet.—What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a God! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!—ii. 2.
Hamlet.—What an amazing creation humanity is! So noble in thought, so limitless in abilities! In shape and movement, so expressive and admirable! In action, so angelic! In understanding, so godlike! The beauty of the world, the ideal among creatures!—ii. 2.
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honor. Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands.—Ps. viii. 4, 5, 6.
What is mankind that you care about him? For you made him a little lower than the angels and crowned him with glory and honor. You gave him authority over the works of your hands.—Ps. viii. 4, 5, 6.
Nicanor lay dead in his harness.—2 Maccabees xv. 28.
Nicanor lay dead in his harness.—2 Maccabees xv. 28.
Woe to thee, O land, when thy king is a child.—Eccles. x. 16.
Woe to you, O land, when your king is a child.—Eccles. x. 16.
Thy right hand hath holden me up.—Ps. xviii. 35.
Thy right hand has held me up.—Ps. xviii. 35.
Man the image of his Maker.—Henry VIII., iii. 2.—Gen. I. 27.
Man is the image of his Creator.—Henry VIII., iii. 2.—Gen. I. 27.
Blessed are the peacemakers.—2 Henry VI., ii. 1.—Matt. V. 29.
Blessed are the peacemakers.—2 Henry VI., ii. 1.—Matt. V. 29.
How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!—Isaiah xiv. 12.
How have you fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, morning star!—Isaiah xiv. 12.
Whose names were not written in the book of life.—Rev. xx., xxi.
Whose names were not written in the book of life.—Rev. xx., xxi.
He could swear by no greater, he sware by himself.—Heb. vi. 13.
He couldn't swear by anything greater, so he swore by himself.—Heb. vi. 13.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.—Ps. cxix. 105.
Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.—Ps. cxix. 105.
Who can call him his friend that dips in the same dish?—Timon of Athens, iii. 2.
Who can consider him a friend if they share the same plate?—Timon of Athens, iii. 2.
He that dippeth his hand with me in the dish, the same shall betray me.—Matt. xxvi. 23.
He who shares a plate with me will betray me. —Matt. xxvi. 23.
You shall see him a palm in Athens again, and flourish with the highest.—Timon of Athens, v. 1.
You will see him holding a palm in Athens again and thriving at the highest level.—Timon of Athens, v. 1.
The righteous shall flourish like the palm-tree.—Ps. xcii. 12.
The righteous will thrive like the palm tree.—Ps. 92:12.
It is written, they appear to men like angels of light.—Com. of Errors, iv. 3
It is written, they look like angels of light to people.—Com. of Errors, iv. 3
Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.—2 Cor. xi. 14.
Satan himself is changed into an angel of light.—2 Cor. xi. 14.
Thorns and snares are in the way of the froward.—Prov. xxii. 5.
Thorns and traps are on the path of the stubborn.—Prov. xxii. 5.
He that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him.—Prov. xxvi. 27.
He who rolls a stone will have it roll back on him.—Prov. xxvi. 27.
The speech of Ulysses, in “Troilus and Cressida,” i. 3, is almost a paraphrase of St. Luke xxi. 25, 26:—
The speech of Ulysses, in “Troilus and Cressida,” i. 3, is almost a paraphrase of St. Luke xxi. 25, 26:—
And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth; for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.
And there will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars; and on the earth, nations will be in distress, confused; the sea and the waves will be crashing; people will be fearful and anxious about what’s coming to the earth; for the powers of heaven will be shaken.
122Hermia and Lear both use an expression derived from the same source:—
122Hermia and Lear both use a phrase that comes from the same origin:—
They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent; adders’ poison is under their lips.—Ps. cxl. 3.
They have sharpened their words like a snake; venom is under their lips.—Ps. cxl. 3.
Lear.—All the stored vengeances of heaven fall on her ingrateful top.—ii. 4.
Lear.—All the accumulated punishments of heaven come down on her ungrateful head.—ii. 4.
As for the head of those that compass me about, let the mischief of their own lips cover them.—Ps. cxl. 9.
As for the leaders around me, let the evil from their own mouths trap them.—Ps. cxl. 9.
Fool to King Lear.—We’ll set thee to school to an ant, to teach thee there’s no laboring in the winter.—ii. 4.
Fool to King Lear.—We’ll send you to school with an ant, to teach you there’s no work done in the winter.—ii. 4.
The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer.—Prov. xxx. 25. See also Prov. vi. 6.
The ants aren't strong, but they gather their food in the summer.—Prov. xxx. 25. See also Prov. vi. 6.
WHO IS THE TRUE GENTLEMAN?
The answer to this question will afford one of numberless instances that can be adduced to show the superiority of inspired composition. Compare Bishop Doane’s admired definition with that of the Psalmist:—
The answer to this question will provide one of many examples that can be given to illustrate the superiority of inspired writing. Compare Bishop Doane’s well-regarded definition with that of the Psalmist:—
A gentleman is but a gentle man—no more, no less; a diamond polished that was a diamond in the rough: a gentleman is gentle; a gentleman is modest; a gentleman is courteous; a gentleman is generous; a gentleman is slow to take offence, as being one that never gives it; a gentleman is slow to surmise evil, as being one that never thinks it; a gentleman goes armed only in consciousness of right; a gentleman subjects his appetites; a gentleman refines his tastes; a gentleman subdues his feelings; a gentleman controls his speech; and finally, a gentleman deems every other better than himself.
A gentleman is simply a gentle man—nothing more, nothing less; a diamond that's been polished from its rough state: a gentleman is kind; a gentleman is humble; a gentleman is polite; a gentleman is generous; a gentleman takes offense slowly, as he never gives it; a gentleman is slow to suspect bad intentions, as he never thinks that way; a gentleman is armed only with a sense of what’s right; a gentleman controls his desires; a gentleman refines his tastes; a gentleman manages his emotions; a gentleman regulates his words; and finally, a gentleman considers everyone else to be better than himself.
In the paraphrase of Psalm xv. it is thus answered:—
In the paraphrase of Psalm 15, it is answered like this:—
MISQUOTATIONS FROM SCRIPTURE.
“God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb.”[7] From Sterno’s Sentimental Journey to Italy. Compare Isaiah xxvii. 8.
“God adjusts the wind for the shorn lamb.”[7] From Sterno’s Sentimental Journey to Italy. Compare Isaiah xxvii. 8.
“In the midst of life we are in death.” From the Burial Service; and this, originally, from a hymn of Luther.
“In the middle of life, we are in death.” From the Burial Service; and this, originally, from a hymn of Luther.
“Bread and wine which the Lord hath commanded to be received.” From the English Catechism.
“Bread and wine that the Lord has instructed us to accept.” From the English Catechism.
“Not to be wise above what is written.” Not in Scripture.
“Don’t be wiser than what is written.” Not in Scripture.
“That the Spirit would go from heart to heart as oil from vessel to vessel.” Not in Scripture.
“That the Spirit would move from one heart to another like oil flowing from one container to another.” Not in the Bible.
“The merciful man is merciful to his beast.” The scriptural form is, “A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast.”—Prov. xii. 10.
“The kind man is kind to his animals.” The scripture says, “A righteous person cares about the well-being of their animals.”—Prov. xii. 10.
“A nation shall be born in a day.” In Isaiah it reads, “Shall a nation be born at once?”—lxvi. 8.
“A nation will be born in a day.” In Isaiah it says, “Will a nation be born all at once?”—lxvi. 8.
“As iron sharpeneth iron, so doth a man the countenance of his friend.” “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Prov. xxvii. 17.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens the face of a friend.” “Iron sharpens iron; so a person sharpens the face of a friend.” Prov. xxvii. 17.
“That he who runs may read.” “That he may run that readeth.”—Hab. ii. 2.
“That he who runs can read.” “So that he can run who reads.”—Hab. ii. 2.
“Owe no man any thing but love.” “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another.”—Rom. xiii. 8.
“Owe no one anything except for love.” “Owe no one anything, but to love one another.”—Rom. xiii. 8.
“Prone to sin as the sparks fly upward.” “Born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward.”—Job v. 7.
“Prone to sin like sparks flying upward.” “Born into trouble, like sparks flying upward.”—Job v. 7.
“Exalted to heaven in point of privilege.” Not in the Bible.
“Raised to heaven in terms of privilege.” Not in the Bible.
Eve was not Adam’s helpmate, but merely a help meet for him; nor was Absalom’s long hair, of which he was so proud, the instrument of his destruction;[8] his head, and not the hair upon it, having been caught in the boughs of the tree. (2 Samuel xviii. 9.)
Eve was not Adam’s helper, but simply someone who complemented him; nor was Absalom’s long hair, which he took such pride in, the cause of his downfall;[8] it was his head, and not the hair on it, that got caught in the branches of the tree. (2 Samuel xviii. 9.)
124“Money is the root of evil.” Paul said, I. Timothy, vi. 10, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”
124 “Money is the root of evil.” Paul said, I. Timothy, vi. 10, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”
“In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread,” Gen. iii. 19. Commonly quoted “brow.”
“In the sweat of your face, you shall eat bread,” Gen. iii. 19. Commonly quoted “brow.”
“Cleanliness akin to godliness.” Not in the Bible.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Not in the Bible.
Our Lord’s hearing the doctors in the Temple, and asking them questions, is frequently called his disputing with the doctors.
Our Lord listening to the doctors in the Temple and asking them questions is often referred to as his debate with the doctors.
A SCRIPTURAL BULL.
In the book of Isaiah, chapter xxxvii. verse 36, is the following confusion of ideas:—
In the book of Isaiah, chapter 37, verse 36, is the following confusion of ideas:—
Then the angel of the Lord went forth, and smote in the camp of the Assyrians a hundred and fourscore and five thousand: and when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses.
Then the angel of the Lord came down and struck down one hundred eighty-five thousand Assyrians in their camp. When they got up early in the morning, they saw that all the bodies were dead.
WIT AND HUMOR IN THE BIBLE.
“Shocking!” many a good old saint will cry, at the very thought of it. “The Bible a jest-book! What godless folly shall we have up next?” No, the Bible is not a jest-book. But there is wit in it of the first quality; and a good reason why it should be there. Take a few specimens.
“Shocking!” many good old saints will exclaim at the very thought of it. “The Bible a joke book! What godless nonsense will we see next?” No, the Bible is not a joke book. But there is top-quality wit in it, and a good reason for it to be there. Let’s look at a few examples.
Job, in his thirtieth chapter, is telling how he scorned the low-lived fellows, who pretend to look down on him in his adversities. They are fools. They belong to the long-eared fraternity. Anybody, with less wit, might come out bluntly and call them asses. But Job puts it more deftly (xxx. 7): “Among the bushes they brayed; under the nettles they were gathered together.” If that is not wit, there is no such thing as wit. And yet the commentators don’t see it, or won’t see it. They are perfectly wooden when they come to any such gleam of humor.
Job, in his thirtieth chapter, describes how he scorned the low-lifes who pretend to look down on him during his tough times. They are fools. They belong to the long-eared crowd. Anyone with a bit less sense might just call them asses outright. But Job puts it more cleverly (xxx. 7): “Among the bushes they brayed; under the nettles they were gathered together.” If that isn’t wit, then there’s no such thing as wit. Yet the commentators either don’t recognize it or refuse to acknowledge it. They become completely stiff when it comes to any sign of humor.
Take another instance—Elijah’s ridicule of the prophets of Baal. They are clamoring to their god, to help them out of a very awkward predicament. And, while they are at it, the prophet shows them up in a way that must have made the 125people roar with laughter. The stiff, antiquated style of our English Bible tames down his sallies. Take them in modern phrase. These quack prophets have worked themselves into a perfect desperation, and are capering about on the altar as if they had the St. Vitus’s dance. The scene (I. Kings xviii. 26, 27) wakes up all Elijah’s sense of the ridiculous. “Shout louder! He is a god, you know. Make him hear! Perhaps he is chatting with somebody, or he is off on a hunt, or gone traveling. Or maybe he is taking a nap. Shout away! Wake him up!” Imagine the priests going through their antics on the altar, while Elijah bombards them in this style, at his leisure.
Take another example—Elijah’s mocking of the prophets of Baal. They are calling out to their god, desperately trying to get help in a really tough situation. Meanwhile, the prophet makes fun of them in a way that must have had the crowd in stitches. The stiff, old-fashioned language of our English Bible tones down his jabs. Let’s put it in modern terms. These fake prophets have worked themselves into a total frenzy, dancing around the altar as if they have St. Vitus’s dance. The scene (I. Kings xviii. 26, 27) brings out all of Elijah’s sense of humor. “Shout louder! He is a god, you know. Make him hear! Maybe he’s chatting with someone, or off hunting, or traveling. Or maybe he’s just taking a nap. Keep shouting! Wake him up!” Just picture the priests going through their antics at the altar while Elijah mocks them at his leisure.
Paul shows a dry humor more than once, as in II. Cor. xii. 13: “Why haven’t you fared as well as the other churches? Ah! there is one grievance—that you haven’t had me to support. Pray do not lay it up against me!”
Paul displays a dry sense of humor more than once, as in II. Cor. xii. 13: “Why haven't you done as well as the other churches? Ah! there’s one complaint—that you haven’t had me to support. Please don’t hold it against me!”
These instances might be multiplied from the Old and New Testaments both. What do they show? That the Bible is, on the whole, a humorous book? Far from it. That religion is a humorous subject—that we are to throw all the wit we can into the treatment of it? No. But they show that the sense of the ludicrous is put into a man by his Maker; that it has its uses, and that we are not to be ashamed of it, or to roll up our eyes in a holy horror of it.
These examples can be found in both the Old and New Testaments. What do they demonstrate? That the Bible is, overall, a funny book? Not at all. That religion is a funny topic—that we should inject humor into it? No. But they do show that a sense of humor is given to us by our Creator; that it has its purpose, and that we shouldn’t be embarrassed by it or react with exaggerated piety.
THE OLD AND THE NEW TESTAMENT.
The name Old Testament was applied to the books of Moses by St. Paul (II. Cor. iii. 14), inasmuch as the former covenant comprised the whole scheme of the Mosaic revelation, and the history of this is contained in them. The phrase “book of the covenant,” taken from Exod. xxiv. 7, was transferred in the course of time by metonymy to signify the writings themselves. The term New Testament has been in common use since the third century, and was employed by Eusebius in the sense in which it is now applied.
The term Old Testament was used for the books of Moses by St. Paul (II. Cor. iii. 14) because the first covenant included the entire framework of the Mosaic revelation, which is documented in those books. The phrase “book of the covenant,” taken from Exod. xxiv. 7, eventually came to refer to the writings themselves as a result of metonymy. The term New Testament has been widely used since the third century and was used by Eusebius in the way we understand it today.
A SCRIPTURAL SUM.
The Answer:—For if these things be in you and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.—2 Peter i. 5, 8.
The Answer:—Because if you have these qualities and they are growing in you, they will ensure that you are neither ineffective nor unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.—2 Peter i. 5, 8.
BIBLIOMANCY.
Bibliomancy, or divination by the Bible, had become so common in the fifth century, that several councils were obliged expressly to forbid it, as injurious to religion, and savoring of idolatry.
Bibliomancy, or divination using the Bible, had become so common in the fifth century that several councils had to specifically forbid it, as it was harmful to religion and had a hint of idolatry.
This kind of divination was named Sortes Sanctorum, or Sortes Sacræ, Lots of the Saints, or Sacred Lots, and consisted in suddenly opening, or dipping into, the Bible, and regarding the passage that first presented itself to the eye as predicting the future lot of the inquirer. The Sortes Sanctorum had succeeded the Sortes Homericæ and Sortes Virgilianæ of the Pagans; among whom it was customary to take the work of some famous poet, as Homer or Virgil, and write out different verses on separate scrolls, and afterwards draw one of them, or else, opening the book suddenly, consider the first verse that presented itself as a prognostication of future events. Even the vagrant fortune-tellers, like some of the gypsies of our own times, adopted this method of imposing upon the credulity of the ignorant. The nations of the East retain the practice to the present day. The famous usurper, Nadir Shah, twice decided upon besieging cities, by opening at random upon verses of the celebrated poet Hafiz.
This kind of fortune-telling was called Saints' Lots, or Sacred Lots, Lots of the Saints, or Sacred Lots. It involved suddenly opening or dipping into the Bible and interpreting the first passage that caught your eye as a prediction of your future. The Saints' Lots followed the Homeric Descriptions and Virgilian Prophecies from pagan times, where it was common to take the works of famous poets like Homer or Virgil, write different verses on separate scrolls, and then draw one at random, or simply open the book to see the first verse that appeared as a sign of future events. Even wandering fortune-tellers, like some gypsies today, used this method to deceive the unsuspecting. Many Eastern cultures still practice this today. The infamous usurper, Nadir Shah, even decided twice to besiege cities by randomly opening the verses of the famous poet Hafiz.
This abuse, which was first introduced into the church about the third century, by the superstition of the people, afterwards gained ground through the ignorance of some of the clergy, who permitted prayers to be read in the churches for this very purpose. 127It was therefore found necessary to ordain in the Council of Vannes, held A.D. 465, “That whoever of the clergy or laity should be detected in the practice of this art should be cast out of the communion of the church.” In 506, the Council of Agde renewed the decree; and in 578, the Council of Auxerre, amongst other kinds of divination, forbade the Lots of the Saints, as they were called, adding, “Let all things be done in the name of the Lord;” but these ordinances did not effectually suppress them, for we find them again noticed and condemned in a capitulary or edict of Charlemagne, in 793. Indeed, all endeavors to banish them from the Christian church appear to have been in vain for ages.
This abuse, which first appeared in the church around the third century due to people's superstitions, later gained traction because of the ignorance of some clergy who allowed prayers to be said in churches for this very purpose. 127 Because of this, it became necessary to decree at the Council of Vannes, held CE 465, “That anyone from the clergy or laity caught practicing this should be excluded from the church’s communion.” In 506, the Council of Agde reaffirmed this decree; and in 578, the Council of Auxerre, alongside other forms of divination, prohibited the Lots of the Saints, as they were called, stating, “Let all things be done in the name of the Lord;” but these rules didn’t effectively eliminate them, as they were mentioned and condemned again in a capitulary or edict of Charlemagne in 793. In fact, all efforts to remove them from the Christian church seem to have been in vain for centuries.
The Name of God.
It is singular that the name of God should be spelled with four letters in almost every known language. It is in Latin, Deus; Greek, Zeus; Hebrew, Adon; Syrian, Adad; Arabian, Alla; Persian, Syra; Tartarian, Idga; Egyptian, Aumn, or Zeut; East Indian, Esgi, or Zenl; Japanese, Zain; Turkish, Addi; Scandinavian, Odin; Wallachian, Zenc; Croatian, Doga; Dalmatian, Rogt; Tyrrhenian, Eher; Etrurian, Chur; Margarian, Oese; Swedish, Codd; Irish, Dich; German, Gott; French, Dieu; Spanish, Dios; Peruvian, Lian.
It’s interesting that the name of God is spelled with four letters in almost every known language. In Latin, it’s God; in Greek, it’s Zeus; in Hebrew, it’s Adon; in Syrian, it’s Adad; in Arabic, it’s All done; in Persian, it’s Syra; in Tartarian, it’s Idga; in Egyptian, it’s Autumn or Zeut; in East Indian, it’s Esgi or Zenl; in Japanese, it’s Zayn; in Turkish, it’s Addi; in Scandinavian, it’s Odin; in Wallachian, it’s Zenc; in Croatian, it’s Dog yoga; in Dalmatian, it’s Roget; in Tyrrhenian, it’s Eher; in Etrurian, it’s Chur; in Margarian, it’s Oese; in Swedish, it’s Coddle; in Irish, it’s Dude; in German, it’s God; in French, it’s God; in Spanish, it’s God; and in Peruvian, it’s Lian.
The name God in the Anglo-Saxon language means good, and this signification affords singular testimony of the Anglo-Saxon conception of the essence of the Divine Being. He is 128goodness itself, and the Author of all goodness. Yet the idea of denoting the Deity by a term equivalent to abstract and absolute perfection, striking as it may appear, is perhaps less remarkable than the fact that the word Man, used to designate a human being, formerly signified wickedness; showing how well aware were its originators that our fallen nature had become identified with sin.
The name God in the Anglo-Saxon language means good, and this meaning provides unique evidence of the Anglo-Saxon view of the essence of the Divine Being. He is goodness itself and the source of all goodness. However, the idea of referring to the Deity with a term that represents abstract and absolute perfection, as striking as it might be, is perhaps less surprising than the fact that the word Man, used to refer to a human being, once meant wickedness; indicating how aware its creators were that our fallen nature had become associated with sin.
JEHOVAH.
The word Elohim, as an appellation of Deity, appears to have been in use before the Hebrews had attained a national existence. That Jehovah is specifically the God of the Hebrews is clear, from the fact that the heathen deities never receive this name; they are always spoken of as Elohim. Both the pronunciation and the etymological derivation of the word Jehovah are matters of critical controversy. The Jews of later periods from religious awe abstained from pronouncing it, and whenever it occurred in reading, substituted the word Adonai (my Lord); and it is now generally believed that the sublinear vowel signs attached to the Hebrew tetragrammaton Jhvh belong to the substituted word. Many believe Jahveh to be the original pronunciation. The Hebrew root of the word is believed to be the verb havah or hayah, to be; hence its meaning throughout the Scriptures, “the Being,” or “the Everlasting.”
The word God, as a name for God, seems to have been used even before the Hebrews became a nation. It's clear that Jehovah specifically refers to the God of the Hebrews because the pagan gods are never called this name; they're always referred to as God. The pronunciation and the origin of the word God are hotly debated. Later Jews, out of religious respect, stopped pronouncing it and instead used the word Lord (my Lord) whenever it appeared in readings; it's now commonly thought that the vowel markings attached to the Hebrew tetragrammaton Jhvh actually belong to this substituted word. Many people believe Jahveh is the original pronunciation. The Hebrew root of the word is thought to come from the verb havah or hayah, which means "to be," thus its meaning throughout the Scriptures is “the Being” or “the Everlasting.”
GOD IN SHAKSPEARE.
Michelet (Jeanne d’Arc,) speaking of English literature, says that it is “Sceptique, judaique, satanique.” In a note he says, “I do not recollect to have seen the word God in Shakspeare. If it is there at all, it is there very rarely, by chance, and without a shadow of religious sentiment.” Mrs. Cowden Clarke, by means of her admirable Concordance to Shakspeare, enables us to weigh the truth of this eminent French writer’s remark. The word God occurs in Shakspeare upwards of one thousand times, and the word heaven, which is so frequently substituted for the word God—more especially in the historical plays—occurs about eight hundred times. In the Holy Scriptures, according 129to Cruden, it occurs about eight hundred times. It is true that the word often occurs in Shakspeare without a reverential sentiment; but M. Michelet says it never occurs with a religious feeling (un sentiment religieux.) This statement is almost as erroneous as that regarding the absence of the word. It would be easy for an English scholar to produce from Shakspeare more passages indicative of deep religious feeling than are to be found in any French writer whatever.
Michelet (Jeanne d’Arc) comments on English literature, stating it is “Skeptical, Jewish, satanic.” In a note, he mentions, “I don’t remember seeing the word God in Shakespeare. If it's there at all, it’s very rarely, by chance, and without any sign of religious sentiment.” Mrs. Cowden Clarke, through her excellent Concordance to Shakespeare, allows us to verify the accuracy of this notable French writer’s claim. The word God appears in Shakespeare over one thousand times, and the word heaven, which is often used instead of God—especially in the historical plays—occurs about eight hundred times. According to Cruden, it appears around eight hundred times in the Holy Scriptures. It’s true that the word appears in Shakespeare without a sense of reverence; however, M. Michelet asserts it never appears with religious feeling (a religious feeling). This claim is almost as incorrect as the one regarding its absence. An English scholar could easily cite more passages from Shakespeare that show deep religious feeling than can be found in any French writer.
THE PARSEE, JEW, AND CHRISTIAN.
A Jew entered a Parsee temple, and beheld the sacred fire. “What!” said he to the priest, “do you worship the fire?”
A Jew walked into a Parsee temple and saw the sacred fire. “What!” he said to the priest, “do you worship the fire?”
“Not the fire,” answered the priest: “it is to us an emblem of the sun, and of his genial heat.”
“Not the fire,” replied the priest, “it symbolizes the sun for us, and his warm glow.”
“Do you then worship the sun as your god?” asked the Jew. “Know ye not that this luminary also is but a work of that Almighty Creator?”
“Do you worship the sun as your god?” asked the Jew. “Don’t you know that this light is also just a creation of that Almighty Creator?”
“We know it,” replied the priest: “but the uncultivated man requires a sensible sign, in order to form a conception of the Most High. And is not the sun the incomprehensible source of light, an image of that invisible being who blesses and preserves all things?”
“We know that,” replied the priest. “But an uneducated person needs a clear sign to understand the Most High. Isn't the sun the mysterious source of light, a representation of that unseen being who blesses and sustains everything?”
“Do your people, then,” rejoined the Israelite, “distinguish the type from the original? They call the sun their god, and, descending even from this to a baser object, they kneel before an earthly flame! Ye amuse the outward but blind the inward eye; and while ye hold to them the earthly, ye draw from them the heavenly light! ‘Thou shalt not make unto thyself any image or any likeness.’”
“Do your people, then,” the Israelite replied, “see the difference between the type and the original? They call the sun their god, and, going even lower than that, they worship a simple fire! You entertain the senses but blind the inner vision; and while you keep them focused on the earthly, you take away their heavenly light! ‘You shall not make for yourself any image or likeness.’”
“How do you name the Supreme Being?” asked the Parsee.
“How do you refer to the Supreme Being?” asked the Parsee.
“We call him Jehovah Adonai, that is, the Lord who is, who was, and who will be,” answered the Jew.
“We call him Jehovah Adonai, meaning the Lord who is, who was, and who will be,” replied the Jew.
“Your appellation is grand and sublime,” said the Parsee; “but it is awful too.”
“Your name is impressive and noble,” said the Parsee; “but it’s also frightening.”
A Christian then drew nigh, and said,—
A Christian then came up and said,—
“We call him Father.”
“We call him Dad.”
130The Pagan and the Jew looked at each other, and said,—
130The Pagan and the Jew looked at each other and said,—
“Here is at once an image and a reality: it is a word of the heart.”
“Here is both an image and a reality: it’s a word from the heart.”
Therefore they all raised their eyes to heaven, and said, with reverence and love, “Our Father!” and they took each by the hand, and all three called one another brothers!
Therefore they all looked up to the sky, and said, with respect and affection, “Our Father!” and they took each other's hands, and all three called each other brothers!

In the Name of Jesus.
I | In the rebus of great things, a threefold connection of the world. | I |
E | rigid human sense, praise beauty | E |
S | Hello, health to us, and the highest power of the world. | S |
V | unbind the knot of sin fruit | V |
S | The earth has shone with light through all ages. | S.[9] |
The letters I. H. S. so conspicuously appended to different portions of Catholic churches, are said to have been designed by St. Bernardine of Sienna, to denote the name and mission of the Saviour. They are to be found in a circle above the principal door of the Franciscan Church of the Holy Cross, (Santa Croce,) in Florence, and are said to have been put there by the saint on the termination of the plague of 1347, after which they were commonly introduced into churches. The letters have assigned to them the following signification:—
The letters I. H. S. prominently displayed in various Catholic churches are believed to have been created by St. Bernardine of Siena to represent the name and mission of Jesus. You can see them in a circle above the main entrance of the Franciscan Church of the Holy Cross, (Santa Croce,) in Florence. It’s said that the saint put them there after the end of the plague in 1347, after which they became common in churches. The letters are assigned the following meanings:—
131A maker of playing-cards, which, like missels, were illuminated in those times, was one day remonstrated with by St. Bernardine, upon the sinfulness of his business. The card-maker pleaded the needs of his family. “Well, I will help you,” said the saint, and wrote the letters I. H. S., which he advised the card-maker to paint and gild. The new card “took,” and the saint himself travelled about the country as a poster of these little sacred handbills of the Church.
131A playing card maker, whose cards were beautifully designed back then, was once confronted by St. Bernardine about the wrongness of his trade. The card maker defended himself by saying he needed to support his family. “Alright, I’ll help you,” said the saint, and he wrote the letters I. H. S., which he suggested the card maker should paint and embellish with gold. The new card became popular, and the saint himself traveled around the country promoting these small sacred flyers for the Church.
THE FLOWER OF JESSE.
BEAUTIFUL LEGEND.
One day Rabbi Judah and his brethren, the seven pillars of Wisdom, sat in the Court of the Temple, on feast-day, disputing about REST. One said that it was to have attained sufficient wealth, yet without sin. The second, that it was fame and praise of all men. The third, that it was the possession of power to rule the State. The fourth, that it consisted only in a happy home. The fifth, that it must be in the old age of one who is rich, powerful, famous, surrounded by children and children’s children. The sixth said that all that were vain, unless a man keep all the ritual law of Moses. And Rabbi 132Judah, the venerable, the tallest of the brothers, said, “Ye have spoken wisely; but one thing more is necessary. He only can find rest, who to all things addeth this, that he keepeth the tradition of the elders.”
One day, Rabbi Judah and his fellow sages, the seven pillars of Wisdom, sat in the Temple Court on a feast day, discussing Rest. One person argued that it meant having enough wealth without being sinful. Another said it was about gaining fame and praise from everyone. The third thought it meant having the power to govern. The fourth claimed it was just about having a happy home. The fifth stated that true rest comes in old age for someone who is rich, powerful, and famous, surrounded by children and grandchildren. The sixth argued that all of these ideas are pointless unless a person adheres to all the ritual laws of Moses. Then Rabbi 132 Judah, the wise and tallest of the brothers, said, “You have all spoken wisely, but there is one more thing needed. Only those who add this to everything else—keeping the tradition of the elders—can find true rest.”
There sat in the Court a fair-haired boy, playing with some lilies in his lap, and, hearing the talk, he dropped them with astonishment from his hands, and looked up—that boy of twelve—and said, “Nay, nay, fathers: he only findeth rest, who loveth his brother as himself, and God with his whole heart and soul. He is greater than fame, and wealth, and power, happier than a happy home, happy without it, better than honored age; he is a law to himself, and above all tradition.” The doctors were astonished. They said, “When Christ cometh, shall He tell us greater things?” And they thanked God, for they said, “The old men are not always wise, yet God be praised, that out of the mouth of this young suckling has His praise become perfect.”
There was a fair-haired boy sitting in the court, playing with some lilies in his lap. Hearing the conversation, he dropped them in astonishment and looked up—this twelve-year-old—and said, “No, no, fathers: only the one who loves his brother as himself and loves God with his whole heart and soul finds true rest. He is greater than fame, wealth, and power, happier than a happy home, content without it, and better than an honored old age; he is a law unto himself, above all tradition.” The scholars were amazed. They said, “When Christ comes, will He tell us even greater things?” And they praised God, saying, “The old men are not always wise, yet God be praised that from the mouth of this young child, His praise has become perfect.”
PERSIAN APOLOGUE.
In Sir William Jones’s Persian Grammar may be found the following beautiful story from Nisami. Mr. Alger gives a metrical translation in his Poetry of the East.
In Sir William Jones’s Persian Grammar, you can find a beautiful story from Nisami. Mr. Alger provides a poetic translation in his Poetry of the East.
One evening Jesus arrived at the gates of a certain city, and sent his disciples forward to prepare supper, while he himself, intent on doing good, walked through the streets into the market-place.
One evening, Jesus reached the gates of a certain city and sent his disciples ahead to get dinner ready while he, focused on doing good, walked through the streets into the market.
And he saw at the corner of the market some people gathered together, looking at an object on the ground; and he drew near to see what it might be. It was a dead dog, with a halter around his neck, by which he appeared to have been dragged through the dirt; and a viler, a more abject, a more unclean thing never met the eyes of man.
And he saw a group of people gathered at the corner of the market, staring at something on the ground; he walked over to see what it was. It was a dead dog, with a rope around its neck, as if it had been dragged through the dirt; and there was never a more disgusting, miserable, or filthier sight.
And those who stood by looked on with abhorrence.
And those who were nearby watched in disgust.
“Faugh!” said one, stopping his nose: “it pollutes the air.” “How long,” said another, “shall this foul beast offend our sight?” “Look at his torn hide,” said a third: “one could 133not even cut a shoe out of it.” “And his ears,” said a fourth, “all draggled and bleeding.” “No doubt,” said a fifth, “he has been hanged for thieving.”
“Gross!” said one, pinching his nose. “It stinks up the air.” “How long,” said another, “will this disgusting creature bother us?” “Check out his ripped skin,” said a third. “You couldn’t even make a shoe out of it.” “And his ears,” said a fourth, “all tattered and bleeding.” “For sure,” said a fifth, “he must have been hanged for stealing.”
And Jesus heard them, and looking down compassionately on the dead creature, he said, “Pearls are not equal to the whiteness of his teeth!”
And Jesus heard them, and looking down compassionately at the dead creature, he said, “Pearls can’t compare to the whiteness of his teeth!”
Then the people turned towards him with amazement, and said among themselves, “Who is this? It must be Jesus of Nazareth, for only HE could find something to pity and approve even in a dead dog.” And being ashamed, they bowed their heads before him and went each on his way.
Then the people looked at him in wonder and whispered to each other, “Who is this? It must be Jesus of Nazareth, because only HE could find something to feel sorry for and appreciate even in a dead dog.” Feeling embarrassed, they lowered their heads before him and went on their way.
DESCRIPTION OF THE PERSON OF JESUS CHRIST.
The following description is alleged to be derived from an ancient manuscript sent by Publius Lentulus, President of Judea, to the Senate of Rome:—
The following description is said to come from an ancient manuscript sent by Publius Lentulus, President of Judea, to the Senate of Rome:—
“There lives at this time in Judea, a man of singular character, whose name is Jesus Christ. The barbarians esteem him as their prophet; but his followers adore him as the immediate offspring of the immortal God. He is endowed with such unparalleled virtue as to call back the dead from their graves and to heal every kind of disease with a word or a touch. His person is tall and elegantly shaped; his aspect, amiable and reverend; his hair flows in those beauteous shades which no united colors can match, falling in graceful curls below his ears, agreeably couching on his shoulders, and parting on the crown of his head; his dress, that of the sect of Nazarites; his forehead is smooth and large; his cheeks without blemish, and of roseate hue; his nose and mouth are formed with exquisite symmetry; his beard is thick and suitable to the hair of his head, reaching a little below his chin, and parting in the middle below; his eyes are clear, bright, and serene.
“There is a man living in Judea right now who is quite remarkable, named Jesus Christ. The barbarians see him as a prophet, but his followers worship him as the direct son of the eternal God. He possesses such extraordinary virtue that he can bring the dead back to life and heal all kinds of diseases with just a word or a touch. He is tall and well-shaped; his appearance is friendly and majestic; his hair flows in beautiful shades that no mix of colors can compare to, falling in graceful curls below his ears and resting nicely on his shoulders, parting at the crown of his head; he dresses like the Nazarites; his forehead is smooth and wide; his cheeks are flawless and rosy; his nose and mouth are perfectly shaped; his beard is thick and matches the hair on his head, falling just below his chin and parting in the middle; his eyes are clear, bright, and calm.
“He rebukes with mildness, and invokes with the most tender and persuasive language,—his whole address, whether in word or deed, being elegantly grave, and strictly characteristic of so exalted a being. No man has seen him laugh, but the 134whole world beholds him weep frequently, and so persuasive are his tears that the whole multitude cannot withhold their tears from joining in sympathy with him. He is moderate, temperate, and wise: in short, whatever the phenomenon may turn out in the end, he seems at present to be a man of excellent beauty and divine perfection, every way surpassing man.”
“He addresses others gently, using the most tender and convincing words—his entire manner, whether in speech or action, is elegantly serious and truly fitting for such a remarkable being. No one has witnessed him laugh, but the whole world often sees him cry, and his tears are so moving that everyone around him can't help but shed tears in sympathy. He is balanced, self-controlled, and wise: in short, regardless of how things may turn out in the end, he currently appears to be a man of exceptional beauty and divine perfection, surpassing ordinary humanity in every way.”
DEATH-WARRANT OF JESUS CHRIST.
Of the many interesting relics and fragments brought to light by the persevering researches of antiquarians, none could be more interesting to the philanthropist and believer than the following,—to Christians, the most imposing judicial document ever recorded in human annals. It has been thus faithfully transcribed:—
Of the many fascinating artifacts and pieces uncovered by the diligent work of historians, none could be more intriguing to those who care about humanity and faith than the following— to Christians, the most significant legal document ever recorded in human history. It has been accurately transcribed:—
Sentence rendered by Pontius Pilate, acting Governor of Lower Galilee, stating that Jesus of Nazareth shall suffer death on the cross.
Sentence issued by Pontius Pilate, acting Governor of Lower Galilee, declaring that Jesus of Nazareth will be executed on the cross.
In the year seventeen of the Emperor Tiberius Cæsar, and the 27th day of March, the city of the holy Jerusalem—Annas and Caiaphas being priests, sacrificators of the people of God—Pontius Pilate, Governor of Lower Galilee, sitting in the presidential chair of the prætory, condemns Jesus of Nazareth to die on the cross between two thieves, the great and notorious evidence of the people saying:
In the year 17 of Emperor Tiberius Caesar, on March 27th, the city of holy Jerusalem—Annas and Caiaphas serving as priests, offering sacrifices for the people of God—Pontius Pilate, the Governor of Lower Galilee, sitting in the governor's chair of the praetorium, sentences Jesus of Nazareth to be crucified between two thieves, as the overwhelming evidence of the people declares:
1. Jesus is a seducer.
Jesus is a charmer.
2. He is seditious.
He's rebellious.
3. He is the enemy of the law.
3. He is the enemy of the law.
4. He calls himself falsely the Son of God.
4. He falsely claims to be the Son of God.
5. He calls himself falsely the King of Israel.
5. He falsely refers to himself as the King of Israel.
6. He entered into the temple followed by a multitude bearing palm branches in their hands.
6. He entered the temple with a crowd following him, waving palm branches in their hands.
Orders the first centurion, Quilius Cornelius, to lead him to the place of execution.
Orders the first centurion, Quilius Cornelius, to take him to the execution site.
Forbids any person whomsoever, either poor or rich, to oppose the death of Jesus Christ.
Forbids anyone, whether poor or rich, to oppose the death of Jesus Christ.
The witnesses who signed the condemnation of Jesus are—
The witnesses who signed the condemnation of Jesus are—
1. Daniel Robani, a Pharisee.
Daniel Robani, a Pharisee.
2. Joannus Robani.
Joannus Robani.
1353. Raphael Robani.
1353. Raphael Robani.
4. Capet, a citizen.
4. Capet, a citizen.
Jesus shall go out of the city of Jerusalem by the gate of Struenus.
Jesus will leave the city of Jerusalem through the Struenus gate.
The foregoing is engraved on a copper plate, on the reverse of which is written, “A similar plate is sent to each tribe.” It was found in an antique marble vase, while excavating in the ancient city of Aquilla, in the kingdom of Naples, in the year 1810, and was discovered by the Commissioners of Arts of the French army. At the expedition of Naples, it was enclosed in a box of ebony and preserved in the sacristy of the Carthusians. The French translation was made by the Commissioners of Arts. The original is in the Hebrew language.
The above text is engraved on a copper plate, with a note on the back that says, “A similar plate is sent to each tribe.” It was found in an old marble vase while digging in the ancient city of Aquilla in the kingdom of Naples in 1810, discovered by the French army's Commissioners of Arts. During the Naples expedition, it was placed in an ebony box and stored in the sacristy of the Carthusians. The French translation was done by the Commissioners of Arts. The original is in Hebrew.
DOUBLE HEXAMETER.
ANTICIPATORY USE OF THE CROSS.
Madame Calderon de la Barca, in her Life in Mexico (pub. 1843), says that the symbol of the Cross was known to the Indians before the arrival of Cortez. In the island of Cozumel, near Yucatan, there were several; and in Yucatan[10] itself there was a stone cross. And there an Indian, considered a prophet among his countrymen, had declared that a nation bearing the same as a symbol should arrive from a distant country. More extraordinary still was a temple dedicated to the Holy Cross by the Toltec nation in the city of Cholula. Near Tulansingo there is also a cross engraved on a rock with various characters. In Oajaca there was a cross which the Indians from time immemorial had been accustomed to consider as a divine symbol. By order of Bishop Cervantes it was placed in a chapel in the cathedral. Information concerning its discovery, together with a small cup, cut out of its wood, was sent to Rome to Paul V., who received it on his knees, singing the hymn Vexilla regis. etc.
Madame Calderon de la Barca, in her Life in Mexico (pub. 1843), states that the symbol of the Cross was known to the Indigenous people before Cortez arrived. On the island of Cozumel, near Yucatan, there were several, and in Yucatan[10] itself, there was a stone cross. An Indigenous person, regarded as a prophet among his people, declared that a nation with the same symbol would come from a distant land. Even more remarkable was a temple dedicated to the Holy Cross built by the Toltec nation in the city of Cholula. Near Tulansingo, there is also a cross engraved on a rock with various symbols. In Oaxaca, there was a cross that the Indigenous people had long revered as a divine symbol. By order of Bishop Cervantes, it was placed in a chapel in the cathedral. Information about its discovery, along with a small cup carved from its wood, was sent to Rome to Paul V., who received it on his knees, singing the hymn Vexilla regis. etc.
The Lord’s Prayer.
The Lord’s Prayer alone is an evidence of the truth of Christianity,—so admirably is that prayer accommodated to all our wants.—Lord Wellington.
The Lord’s Prayer alone proves the truth of Christianity—it's perfectly suited to all our needs.—Wellington.
THY AND US.
The two divisions of the Lord’s Prayer—the former relating to the glory of God, the latter to the wants of man—appear very evident on a slight transposition of the personal pronouns:—
The two parts of the Lord’s Prayer—the first focused on God’s glory and the second on human needs—become clear with a small shift in the personal pronouns:—
SPIRIT OF THE LORD’S PRAYER.
The spirit of the Lord’s Prayer is beautiful. This form of petition breathes:—
The essence of the Lord’s Prayer is beautiful. This type of request expresses:—
GOTHIC VERSION.
Ulphilas, who lived between the years 310 and 388, was bishop of the Western Goths, and translated the greater part of the Scriptures into the Gothic language. The following is his rendering of the Lord’s Prayer:—
Ulphilas, who lived from 310 to 388, was the bishop of the Western Goths and translated most of the Scriptures into the Gothic language. Here’s his version of the Lord’s Prayer:—
137Atta unsar thu in himinam. Weihnai namo thein. Quimai thiudinassus sijaima, swaswe jah weis afletam thaim skulam unsaraim. Jah ni briggais uns in fraistubujai. Ak lausei uns af thamma ubilin, unte theina ist thiudangardi, jah maths, jah wulthus in aiwins. Amen.
137May we be united in spirit. We ask for your guidance. Help us find wisdom and strength in our studies, so we don't go off track. And keep us from temptation. But deliver us from evil, for yours is the power, the glory, and the grace forever. Amen.
METRICAL VERSIONS.
Here the sixty-six words of the original, according to the authorized translation of St. Matthew’s version, are reduced to fifty-nine, though the latter is fully implied in all points except two. “This day” is omitted; but, if anything, the Greek is slightly approached, for ἐπιούσιον refers rather to to-morrow than to to-day. The antithesis in “But deliver us” does not appear: if the word deliver be sacrificed, we may read, “But keep us safe.”
Here, the sixty-six words of the original, based on the approved translation of St. Matthew’s version, are cut down to fifty-nine, although the latter fully captures all points except for two. “This day” is left out; however, in a way, the Greek is a bit more accurate, as daily actually refers more to tomorrow than to today. The contrast in “But deliver us” is not present: if we drop the word deliver, we can say, “But keep us safe.”
The subjoined metrical version of the Prayer is at least two and a half centuries old, and was written for adaptation to music in public worship:—
The following poetic version of the Prayer is at least two and a half centuries old and was created to be set to music for public worship:—
The Prayer is commended for its authorship, its efficacy, its perfection, the order of its parts, its brevity, and its necessity.
The Prayer is praised for its authorship, effectiveness, perfection, structure, brevity, and importance.
138The following paraphrase, which has been set to music as a duet, is of more recent origin:—
138The following version, which has been turned into a duet, is more recent:—
THE PRAYER ILLUSTRATED.
Our Father.—Isaiah lxiii. 16. | |
1. By right of creation. | Malachi ii. 10. |
2. By bountiful provision. | Psalm cxlv. 16. |
3. By gracious adoption. | Ephesians i. 5. |
Who art in Heaven.—1 Kings viii. 43. | |
1. The throne of thy glory. | Isaiah lxvi. 1. |
2. The portion of thy children. | 1 Peter i. 4. |
3. The temple of thy angels. | Isaiah vi. 1. |
Hallowed be thy Name.—Psalm cxv. 1. | |
1. By the thoughts of our hearts. | Psalm lxxxvi. 11. |
2. By the words of our lips. | Psalm li. 15. |
3. By the works of our hands. | 1 Corinthians x. 31. |
Thy Kingdom come.—Psalm cx. 2. | |
1. Of Providence to defend us. | Psalm xvii. 8. |
2. Of grace to refine us. | 1 Thessalonians v. 23. |
3. Of glory to crown us. | Colossians iii. 4. |
Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.—Acts xxxi. 14. | |
1. Towards us, without resistance. | 1 Samuel iii. 18. |
2. By us, without compulsion. | Psalm cxix. 36. |
3. Universally, without exception. | Luke i. 6. |
4. Eternally, without declension. | Psalm cxix. 93. |
Give us this day our daily bread. | |
1. Of necessity, for our bodies. | Proverbs xxx. 8. |
2. Of eternal life, for our souls. | John vi. 34. |
And forgive us our trespasses.—Psalm xxv. 11. | |
1. Against the commands of thy law. | 1 John iii. 4. |
2. Against the grace of thy gospel. | 1 Timothy i. 13. |
139As we forgive them that trespass against us.—Matthew vi. 15. | |
1. By defaming our characters. | Matthew v. 11. |
2. By embezzling our property. | Philemon 18. |
3. By abusing our persons. | Acts vii. 60. |
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.—Matthew xxvi. 41. | |
1. Of overwhelming afflictions. | Psalm cxxx. 1. |
2. Of worldly enticements. | 1 John ii. 16. |
3. Of Satan’s devices. | 1 Timothy iii. 7. |
4. Of error’s seduction. | 1 Timothy vi. 10. |
5. Of sinful affections. | Romans i. 26. |
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.—Jude 25. | |
1. Thy kingdom governs all. | Psalm ciii. 19. |
2. Thy power subdues all. | Philippians iii. 20, 21. |
3. Thy glory is above all. | Psalm cxlviii. 13. |
Amen.—Ephesians i. 11. | |
1. As it is in thy purposes. | Isaiah xiv. 27. |
2. So is it in thy promises. | 2 Corinthians i. 20. |
3. So be it in our prayers. | Revelation xxii. 20. |
4. So shall it be to thy praise. | Revelation xix. 4. |
ACROSTICAL PARAPHRASE.
TRIFLING OF BIBLE COMMENTATORS.
Dr. Gill, in his Expository, seriously tells us that the word ABBA read backwards or forwards being the same, may teach us that God is the father of his people in adversity as well as in prosperity.
Dr. Gill, in his Expository, seriously tells us that the word ABBA, whether read backwards or forwards, teaches us that God is the father of his people in both hard times and good times.
THE PRAYER ECHOED.
THE PRAYER IN AN ACROSTIC.
In the following curious composition the initial capitals spell, “My boast is in the glorious Cross of Christ.” The words in italics, when read from top to bottom and bottom to top, form the Lord’s Prayer complete:—
In the following curious composition, the initial capitals spell, "My boast is in the glorious Cross of Christ." The words in italics, when read from top to bottom and bottom to top, form the Lord’s Prayer complete:—
Ecclesiasticæ.
EXCESSIVE CIVILITY.
Tom Brown, in his Laconics, says that in the reign of Charles II. a certain worthy divine at Whitehall thus addressed himself to the auditory at the conclusion of his sermon: “In short, if you don’t live up to the precepts of the gospel, but abandon yourselves to your irregular appetites, you must expect to receive your reward in a certain place, which ’tis not good manners to mention here.” This suggested to Pope the couplet,
Tom Brown, in his Laconics, mentions that during the reign of Charles II, a respected clergyman at Whitehall addressed the audience at the end of his sermon like this: “In short, if you don’t follow the teachings of the gospel and give in to your uncontrolled desires, you should expect to receive your reward in a certain place that’s not polite to mention here.” This inspired Pope to create the couplet,
SHORT SERMONS.
Dean Swift, having been solicited to preach a charity sermon, mounted the pulpit, and after announcing his text, “He that giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord,” simply said, “Now, my brethren, if you are satisfied with the security, down with the dust.” He then took his seat, and there was an unusually large collection.
Dean Swift, having been asked to preach a charity sermon, went up to the pulpit, and after stating his text, “He who gives to the poor lends to the Lord,” simply remarked, “Now, my friends, if you’re comfortable with the guarantee, let’s get started.” He then sat down, and there was a surprisingly large collection.
The following abridgment contains the pith and marrow, sum and substance, of a sermon which occupied an hour in delivery:—
The following shortened version includes the core message and essential points of a sermon that lasted an hour:—
A SERMON ON MALT.
The Rev. Dr. Dodd lived within a few miles of Cambridge, (England,) and had offended several students by preaching a sermon on temperance. One day some of them met him. They said one to another,—
The Rev. Dr. Dodd lived just a few miles from Cambridge, (England) and had upset several students by giving a sermon on temperance. One day, some of them ran into him. They said to each other,—
“Here’s Father Dodd: he shall preach us a sermon.” Accosting him with,—
“Here comes Father Dodd: he's going to give us a sermon.” Approaching him with,—
“Your servants.”
"Your staff."
“Sirs! yours, gentlemen!” replied the Doctor.
“Sirs! Yours, gentlemen!” replied the Doctor.
They said, “We have a favor to ask of you, which must be granted.” The divine asked what it was.
They said, “We have a favor to ask of you that must be granted.” The divine inquired what it was.
“To preach a sermon,” was the reply.
“To give a sermon,” was the reply.
“Well,” said he, “appoint the time and place, and I will.”
“Well,” he said, “just set the time and place, and I’ll be there.”
“The time, the present; the place, that hollow tree,” (pointing to it,) said the students.
“The time is now; the place is that hollow tree,” (pointing to it,) said the students.
“’Tis an imposition!” said the Doctor: “there ought to be consideration before preaching.”
“It's an imposition!” said the Doctor. “There should be some thought before preaching.”
“If you refuse,” responded they, “we will put you into the tree!” Whereupon the Doctor acquiesced, and asked them for a text.
“If you refuse,” they replied, “we'll put you in the tree!” At this, the Doctor agreed and asked them for a text.
“Malt!” said they.
“Malt!” they said.
The reverend gentleman commenced:—
The reverend started:—
“Let me crave your attention, my beloved!
“Please give me your attention, my love!
“I am a little man, come at a short warning, to preach a short sermon, upon a short subject, to a thin congregation, in an unworthy pulpit. Beloved! my text is ‘Malt.’ I cannot divide it into syllables, it being but a monosyllable: therefore I must divide it into letters, which I find in my text to be four:—M-a-l-t. M, my beloved, is moral—A, is allegorical—L, is literal—T, is theological.
“I’m a small man, here on short notice, to give a brief sermon on a simple topic, to a sparse audience, from an unworthy pulpit. Dear friends! my text is ‘Malted barley.’ I can’t break it down into syllables since it's just one syllable, so I’ll break it down into letters, which I see in my text are four:—Malt. M, my dear friends, stands for moral—A stands for allegorical—L stands for literal—T stands for theological.
“1st. The moral teaches such as you drunkards good manners; therefore M, my masters—A, all of you—L, leave off—T, tippling.
“1st. The moral teaches you drinkers good manners; therefore M, my masters—A, all of you—L, stop—T, drinking.”
“2d. The allegorical is, when one thing is spoken and another meant; the thing here spoken is Malt, the thing meant 145the oil of malt, which you rustics make M, your masters—A, your apparel—L, your liberty—T, your trusts.
“2d. The allegorical means when one thing is said but another is intended; the thing being referred to here is Malt, while the intended meaning is the oil of malt, which you country folks make M, your masters—A, your clothing—L, your freedom—T, your expectations. 145
“3d. The theological is according to the effects it works, which are of two kinds—the first in this world, the second in the world to come. The effects it works in this world are, in some, M, murder—in others, A, adultery—in all, L, looseness of life—and particularly in some, T, treason. In the world to come, the effects of it are, M, misery—A, anguish—L, lamentation—T, torment—and thus much for my text, ‘Malt.’
“3d. The theological impacts depend on the effects it produces, which fall into two categories—the first in this world, the second in the afterlife. The effects it brings about in this world are, in some, M, murder—in others, A, adultery—in all, L, moral decay—and particularly in some, T, treason. In the afterlife, the effects are, M, misery—A, anguish—L, lamentation—T, torment—and that’s all for my text, ‘Malt.’”
“Infer 1st: As words of exhortation: M, my masters—A, all of you—L, leave off—T, tippling.
“Infer 1st: As words of encouragement: M, my friends—A, all of you—L, stop—T, drinking.”
“2d. A word for conviction: M, my masters—A, all of you—L, look for—T, torment.
“2d. A word for conviction: M, my masters—A, all of you—L, look for—T, torment.
“3d. A word for caution, take this: A drunkard is the annoyance of modesty—the spoiler of civility—the destroyer of reason—the brewer’s agent—the alewife’s benefactor—his wife’s sorrow—his children’s trouble—his neighbor’s scoff—a walking swill-tub—a picture of a beast—a monster of a man.”
“3d. A word of warning: A drunkard is an embarrassment to decency—ruins politeness—destroys logic—supports the brewers—benefits the tavern keepers—his wife’s grief—his children’s burden—his neighbor’s ridicule—a walking dumpster—a representation of a beast—a monstrous human being.”
The youngsters found the truth so unpalatable, that they soon deserted their preacher, glad to get beyond the reach of his voice.
The kids found the truth so hard to accept that they quickly left their preacher, happy to be out of earshot.
ELOQUENCE OF BASCOM.
The following passages will serve to illustrate the peculiar oratorical style of Rev. Henry B. Bascom, the distinguished Kentucky preacher:—
The following passages will show the unique speaking style of Rev. Henry B. Bascom, the notable preacher from Kentucky:—
“Chemistry, with its fire-tongs of the galvanic battery, teaches that the starry diamond in the crown of kings, and the black carbon which the peasant treads beneath his feet, are both composed of the same identical elements; analysis also proves that a chief ingredient in limestone is carbon. Then let the burning breath of God pass over all the limestone of the earth, and bid its old mossy layers crystalize into new beauty; and lo! at the Almighty fiat the mountain ranges flash into living gems with a lustre that renders midnight noon, and eclipses all the stars!”
“Chemistry, with its tools from the galvanic battery, shows that the sparkling diamond in a king's crown and the black carbon that a peasant walks on are made of the same elements. Analysis also reveals that a key component of limestone is carbon. So, let the fiery breath of God sweep over all the limestone on Earth and transform its ancient, moss-covered layers into new beauty; and behold! at the Almighty currency the mountain ranges shine like living gems with a brilliance that turns midnight into noon and outshines all the stars!”
146He urged the same view by another example, still better adapted to popular apprehension:—
146He stressed the same idea with a different example that was even more relatable to the general public:—
“Look yonder,” said the impassioned orator, pointing a motionless finger towards the lofty ceiling, as if it were the sky. “See that wrathful thunder-cloud—the fiery bed of the lightnings and hissing hail—the cradle of tempests and floods!—What can be more dark, more dreary, more dreadful? Say, scoffing skeptic, is it capable of any beauty? You pronounce, ‘no.’ Well, very well; but behold, while the sneering denial curls your proud lips, the sun with its sword of light shears through the sea of vapors in the west, and laughs in your incredulous face with his fine golden eye. Now, look again at the thunder-cloud! See! where it was blackest and fullest of gloom, the sunbeams have kissed its hideous cheek; and where the kiss fell there is now a blush, brighter than ever mantled on the brow of mortal maiden—the rich blush of crimson and gold, of purple and vermilion—a pictured blush, fit for the gaze of angels—the flower-work of pencils of fire and light, wrought at a dash by one stroke of the right hand of God! Ay, the ugly cloud hath given birth to the rainbow, that perfection and symbol of unspeakable beauty!”
“Look over there,” said the passionate speaker, pointing a steady finger at the high ceiling, as if it were the sky. “See that angry thundercloud—the fiery source of lightning and the hissing hail—the birthplace of storms and floods! What could be darker, bleaker, or more terrifying? Tell me, skeptical scoffer, can it hold any beauty? You say, ‘no.’ Fine, but look at this: while your sneering denial twists your proud lips, the sun with its beam of light cuts through the sea of clouds in the west, shining down on you with its bright golden eye. Now, look again at the thundercloud! See! Where it was darkest and most filled with despair, the sunbeams have touched its ugly cheek; and where that kiss landed, there’s now a blush, brighter than any seen on the face of a mortal maiden—the rich blush of crimson and gold, of purple and vermilion—a beautiful blush, worthy of angels’ gaze—the artwork of fire and light, crafted instantly by the swift hand of God! Yes, the ugly cloud has given birth to the rainbow, that perfect symbol of indescribable beauty!”
THE LORD BISHOP.
The following incident is said to have occurred in the parish church of Bradford, England, during a special service, on the occasion of a visit from the bishop of the diocese:—
The following incident is reported to have happened in the parish church of Bradford, England, during a special service, on the occasion of a visit from the bishop of the diocese:—
The clerk, before the sermon, gave out the psalm in broad Wiltshire dialect, namely:—“Let us zing to the praayze an’ glawry o’ God, three varsses o’ the hundred and vourteen zaam—a varsion ’specially ’dapted to the ’caasion,—by meself:”—
The clerk, before the sermon, announced the psalm in a strong Wiltshire accent, saying:—“Let us sing to the praise and glory of God, three verses of the hundred and fourteen psalm—a version specially adapted for the occasion,—by myself:”—
THE PREACHERS OF CROMWELL’S TIME.
Dr. Echard says of the preachers who lived in the time of Cromwell,—“Coiners of new phrases, drawers-out of long godly words, thick pourers-out of texts of Scripture, mimical squeakers and bellowers, vain-glorious admirers only of themselves, and those of their own fashioned face and gesture; such as these shall be followed, shall have their bushels of China oranges, shall be solaced with all manner of cordial essences, and shall be rubbed down with Holland of ten shillings an ell.”
Dr. Echard talks about the preachers from Cromwell's time: “Creators of new phrases, extractors of lengthy religious terms, heavy users of Scripture, theatrical noisemakers, self-absorbed admirers, and those who only focus on their own crafted image and style; these are the ones who will be followed. They will reap their rewards, enjoy their luxuries, and indulge in the finest comforts.”
One of the singular fashions that prevailed among the preachers of those days was that of coughing or hemming in the middle of a sentence, as an ornament of speech; and when their sermons were printed, the place where the preacher coughed or hemmed was always noted in the margin. This practice was not confined to England, for Olivier Maillard, a Cordelier, and famous preacher, printed a sermon at Brussels in the year 1500, and marked in the margin where the preacher hemmed once or twice, or coughed.
One of the unique trends among preachers at that time was to cough or clear their throat mid-sentence as a speaking style. When their sermons were printed, the spots where the preacher coughed or cleared their throat were always noted in the margins. This habit wasn’t just seen in England; for example, Olivier Maillard, a Franciscan and well-known preacher, published a sermon in Brussels in 1500 and indicated in the margin where the preacher cleared their throat once or twice or coughed.
ORIGIN OF TEXTS.
The custom of taking a text as the basis of a sermon originated with Ezra, who, we are told, accompanied by several Levites in a public congregation of men and women, ascended a pulpit, opened the book of the law, and after addressing a prayer to the Deity, to which the people said Amen, “read in the book in the law of God distinctly, and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading.” (Nehemiah viii. 8.)
The practice of using a text as the foundation for a sermon started with Ezra, who is said to have, along with several Levites, stood before a public assembly of men and women, climbed up to a pulpit, opened the book of the law, and after offering a prayer to God, which the people responded to with "Amen," “read the law of God clearly, explained its meaning, and helped the people understand what was read.” (Nehemiah viii. 8.)
Previous to the time of Ezra, the Patriarchs delivered, in public assemblies, either prophecies or moral instructions for the edification of the people; and it was not until the return 148of the Jews from the Babylonish captivity, during which time they had almost lost the language in which the Pentateuch was written, that it became necessary to explain, as well as to read, the Scriptures to them. In later times, the book of Moses was thus read in the synagogues every Sabbath day. (Acts xv. 21.) To this custom our Saviour conformed: in the synagogue at Nazareth he read a passage from the prophet Isaiah, then closing the book, returned it to the priest, and preached from the text.
Before Ezra's time, the Patriarchs shared prophecies or moral teachings in public gatherings to educate the people; it wasn't until the Jews returned from Babylonian captivity, during which they nearly forgot the language of the Pentateuch, that it became necessary to read and explain the Scriptures to them. Later on, the book of Moses was read in synagogues every Sabbath. (Acts xv. 21.) Jesus followed this practice: in the synagogue at Nazareth, he read a passage from the prophet Isaiah, then closed the book, handed it back to the priest, and delivered a sermon based on the text.
CLERICAL BLUNDERS.
In an old book of Sermons by a divine named Milsom, we are told that it is one among many proofs of the wisdom and benevolence of Providence that the world was not created in the midst of winter, when Adam and Eve could have found nothing to eat, but in harvest-time, when there was fruit on every tree and shrub to tempt the willing hand.
In an old book of sermons by a preacher named Milsom, it is mentioned that one of the many examples of the wisdom and kindness of Providence is that the world wasn't created in the middle of winter, when Adam and Eve would have found nothing to eat, but in harvest season, when there was fruit on every tree and bush to entice the willing hand.
Another commentator praises Divine Goodness for always making the largest rivers flow close by the most populous towns.
Another commentator praises Divine Goodness for always having the largest rivers flow near the most populated towns.
St. Austin undertook to prove that the ten plagues of Egypt were punishments adapted to the breach of the ten commandments,—forgetting that the law was given to the Jews, and that the plagues were inflicted on the Egyptians, and also that the law was not given in the form of commandments until nearly three months after the plagues had been sent.
St. Augustine tried to demonstrate that the ten plagues of Egypt were punishments that corresponded to the violation of the ten commandments, forgetting that the law was given to the Jews and that the plagues were inflicted on the Egyptians. He also overlooked the fact that the law wasn’t provided in the form of commandments until almost three months after the plagues had occurred.
PROVING AN ALIBI.
A clergyman at Cambridge preached a sermon which one of his auditors commended. “Yes,” said a gentleman to whom it was mentioned, “it was a good sermon, but he stole it.” This was told to the preacher. He resented it, and called on the gentleman to retract what he had said. “I am not,” replied the aggressor, “very apt to retract my words, but in this instance I will. I said, you had stolen the sermon; I find I was wrong; for on returning home, and referring to the book whence I thought it was taken, I found it there.”
A clergyman at Cambridge gave a sermon that one of his listeners praised. “Yes,” said a gentleman when it was brought up, “it was a good sermon, but he copied it.” This was reported back to the preacher. He took offense and demanded the gentleman to take back what he said. “I don’t usually take back my words,” replied the gentleman, “but in this case, I will. I said you had copied the sermon; I realize I was mistaken; because when I got home and checked the book I thought it was taken from, I found it there.”
WHITEFIELD AND THE SAILORS.
Mr. Whitefield, whose gestures and play of features were so full of dramatic power, once preached before the seamen at New York, and, in the course of his sermon, introduced the following bold apostrophe:—
Mr. Whitefield, whose gestures and facial expressions were so full of dramatic power, once preached to the sailors in New York, and during his sermon, he included this bold address:—
“Well, my boys, we have a clear sky, and are making fine headway over a smooth sea before a light breeze, and we shall soon lose sight of land. But what means this sudden lowering of the heavens, and that dark cloud arising from the western horizon? Hark! Don’t you hear the distant thunder? Don’t you see those flashes of lightning? There is a storm gathering! Every man to his duty. How the waves rise and dash against the ship! The air is dark! The tempest rages! Our masts are gone. The ship is on her beam ends! What next?” The unsuspecting tars, reminded of former perils on the deep, as if struck by the power of magic, arose and exclaimed, “Take to the long boat.”
“Well, guys, we have a clear sky, and we’re making great progress over a calm sea with a light breeze, and we’ll soon lose sight of land. But what’s with this sudden darkening of the sky and that dark cloud forming on the western horizon? Listen! Don’t you hear the distant thunder? Don’t you see those flashes of lightning? A storm is coming! Every man to his post. The waves are rising and crashing against the ship! The air is dark! The storm is furious! Our masts are gone. The ship is tipping over! What’s next?” The unsuspecting sailors, reminded of past dangers at sea, as if struck by a spell, stood up and shouted, “Get to the lifeboat.”
PROTESTANT EXCOMMUNICATION.
John Knox, in his Liturgy for Scotch Presbyterians, sets forth the following form for the exercise of such an attribute of ecclesiastical authority in Protestant communities as excommunication:—
John Knox, in his Liturgy for Scotch Presbyterians, presents the following format for the use of an ecclesiastical authority like excommunication in Protestant communities:—
“O Lord Jesus Christ, thy expressed word is our assurance, and therefore, in boldness of the same, here in thy name, and at the commandment of this thy present congregation, we cut off, seclude, and excommunicate from thy body, and from our society, N. as a pround contemner, and slanderous person, and a member for the present altogether corrupted, and pernicious to the body. And this his sin (albeit with sorrow of our hearts) by virtue of our ministry, we bind and pronounce the same to be bound in heaven and earth. We further give over, into the hands and power of the devil, the said N. to the destruction of his flesh; straitly charging all that profess the Lord Jesus, to whose knowledge this our sentence shall come, to repute and 150hold the said N. accursed and unworthy of the familiar society of Christians; declaring unto all men that such as hereafter (before his repentance) shall haunt, or familiarly accompany him, are partakers of his impiety, and subject to the like condemnation.
“O Lord Jesus Christ, your spoken word is our assurance, and so, with confidence in that word, here in your name and at the request of this congregation, we cut off, isolate, and excommunicate N. from your body and our community, as a proud despiser and slanderer, a member who is currently entirely corrupt and harmful to the body. Though it pains our hearts, we bind his sin by the authority of our ministry and declare it to be bound in heaven and on earth. We also hand over N. to the power of the devil for the destruction of his flesh; we strongly urge all who profess the Lord Jesus, to whom this sentence shall come, to regard N. as accursed and unworthy of the fellowship of Christians; declaring to everyone that those who associate with him before his repentance are sharing in his wrongdoing and will face the same condemnation.
“This our sentence, O Lord Jesus, pronounced in thy name, and at thy commandment, we humbly beseech thee to ratify even according to thy promise.”
“This is our sentence, O Lord Jesus, declared in your name, and by your command, we humbly ask you to confirm it, just as you promised.”
Puritan Peculiarities.
BAPTISMAL NAMES.
A Puritan maiden, who was asked for her baptismal name, replied, “‘Through-much-tribulation-we-enter-the-kingdom-of-Heaven,’ but for short they call me ‘Tribby.’”
A Puritan girl, when asked for her baptismal name, replied, “‘Through-much-tribulation-we-enter-the-kingdom-of-Heaven,’ but for short, they call me ‘Tribby.’”
The following names will be found in Lower’s English Sirnames, and in the Lansdowne Collection. Most of them are taken from a jury-list of Sussex County, 1658. The favorite female baptismal names among the Puritans were Mercy, Faith, Fortune, Honor, Virtue; but there were among them those who preferred such high-flown names as Alethe, Prothesa, Euphrosyne, Kezia, Keturah, Malvina, Melinda, Sabrina, Alpina, Oriana.
The following names can be found in Lower’s English Sirnames and in the Lansdowne Collection. Most of them are from a jury list of Sussex County, 1658. The popular female baptismal names among the Puritans were Mercy, Faith, Fortune, Honor, and Virtue; however, some preferred more extravagant names like Alethe, Prothesa, Euphrosyne, Kezia, Keturah, Malvina, Melinda, Sabrina, Alpina, and Oriana.
SIMILES.
Walking in the streets, I met a cart that came near the wall; so I stepped aside, to avoid it, into a place where I was secure enough. Reflection: Lord, sin is that great evil of which thou complainest that thou art pressed as a cart is pressed: how can it then but bruise me to powder?—Caleb Trenchfield’s Chris. Chymestree.
Walking down the street, I saw a cart coming near the wall; so I moved aside to a spot where I felt safe enough. Reflection: Lord, sin is that major evil of which you lament that you are burdened like a cart is weighed down: how can it not crush me to dust?—Caleb Trenchfield’s Chris. Chymestree.
EARLY PUNISHMENTS IN MASSACHUSETTS.
From the early records of Massachusetts we learn that the following singular punishments were inflicted in that colony two hundred years ago:—
From the early records of Massachusetts, we learn that the following unusual punishments were imposed in that colony two hundred years ago:—
Sir Richard Salstonstall, fined four bushels of malt for his absence from the court.
Sir Richard Salstonstall was fined four bushels of malt for not showing up to court.
Josias Plaistowe, for stealing four baskets of corn from the Indians, to return them eight baskets again, to be fined £5, and hereafter to be called Josias, not Mr. as he used to be.
Josias Plaistowe, for stealing four baskets of corn from the Indians, must return eight baskets to them, pay a fine of £5, and from now on be referred to as Josias, not Mr. as he was before.
Thomas Peter, for suspicions of slander, idleness, and stubbornness, is to be severely whipped and kept in hold.
Thomas Peter, suspected of slander, laziness, and stubbornness, is to be whipped harshly and held in custody.
152Capt. Stone, for abusing Mr. Ludlow by calling him justass, fined £100, and prohibited coming within the patent.
152Capt. Stone, for insulting Mr. Ludlow by calling him justass, was fined £100 and banned from entering the patent area.
Joyce Dradwick to give unto Alexander Becks 20s., for promising him marriage without her friends’ consent, and now refusing to perform the same.
Joyce Dradwick will give Alexander Becks 20s. for promising him marriage without her friends’ approval and now refusing to go through with it.
Richard Turner, for being notoriously drunk, fined £2.
Richard Turner, known for being frequently drunk, was fined £2.
Edward Palmer, for his extortion in taking 32s. 7d. for the plank and work of Boston stocks, fined £5, and sentenced to sit one hour in the stocks.
Edward Palmer, for his extortion in taking 32s. 7d. for the plank and work of Boston stocks, was fined £5 and sentenced to sit for an hour in the stocks.
John White bound in £10 to good behavior, and not come into the company of his neighbor Thomas Bell’s wife alone.
John White was required to pay £10 for good behavior and not to be alone with his neighbor Thomas Bell's wife.
VIRGINIA PENALTIES IN THE OLDEN TIME.
From the old records in the Court House of Warwick County, Virginia, we extract some entries of decisions by the court under date of October 21, 1663. It may be worth while to remark that at that early period tobacco was not only a staple commodity but a substitute for currency.
From the old records in the Courthouse of Warwick County, Virginia, we pull some entries of decisions made by the court on October 21, 1663. It's worth noting that at that time, tobacco was not just a key product but also used as a form of currency.
“Mr. John Harlow, and Alice his wife, being by the grand inquest presented for absenting themselves from church, are, according to the act, fined each of them fifty pounds of tobacco; and the said Mr. John Harlow ordered forthwith to pay one hundred pounds of tobacco to the sheriff, otherwise the said sheriff to levy by way of distress.”
“Mr. John Harlow and his wife Alice were presented by the grand jury for missing church. According to the law, they are each fined fifty pounds of tobacco. Mr. John Harlow is also ordered to pay one hundred pounds of tobacco to the sheriff immediately, or else the sheriff will collect the amount through distress.”
“Jane Harde, the wife of Henry Harde, being presented for not ’tending church, is, according to act, fined fifty pounds of tobacco; and the sheriff is ordered to collect the same from her, and, in case of non-payment, to distress.”
“Jane Harde, the wife of Henry Harde, is being penalized for not attending church and is fined fifty pounds of tobacco as per the law; the sheriff is instructed to collect the fine from her, and if she doesn’t pay, to take further action.”
“John Lewis, his wife this day refusing to take the oath of allegiance, being ordered her, is committed into the sheriff’s custody, to remain until she take the said oath, or until further ordered to the contrary.”
“John Lewis, whose wife today refused to take the oath of allegiance as ordered, is placed in the sheriff’s custody until she takes the oath or until further notice.”
“John Lewis, his wife for absenting herself from church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be collected by the sheriff from her husband; and upon non-payment, the said sheriff to distress.”
“John Lewis, for his wife skipping church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, which the sheriff will collect from her husband; and if he doesn't pay, the sheriff will seize his property.”
153“George Harwood, being prosecuted for his absenting himself from church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be levied by way of distress by the sheriff upon his non-payment thereof.”
153“George Harwood, facing charges for skipping church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, which will be collected by the sheriff if he doesn’t pay.”
“Peter White and his wife, being presented for common swearing, are fined fifty pounds of tobacco, both of them; to be collected by the sheriff from the said White, and, upon non-payment of the same, to distress.”
“Peter White and his wife, who were brought in for swearing, are fined fifty pounds of tobacco each. The sheriff will collect this amount from Mr. White, and if he doesn’t pay, there will be further actions taken.”
“Richard King, being presented as a common swearer, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be levied by the sheriff, by way of distress, upon his non-payment.”
“Richard King, being known for frequently swearing, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be collected by the sheriff through distress if he doesn't pay.”
EXTRACTS FROM THE CONNECTICUT BLUE LAWS.
The following extracts from the laws ordained by the people of New Haven, previous to their incorporation with the Saybrook and Hartford colonies, afford an idea of the strange character of their prohibitions. As the substance only is given in the transcription, the language is necessarily modernized:—
The following excerpts from the laws established by the people of New Haven, before they joined the Saybrook and Hartford colonies, give an insight into the unusual nature of their prohibitions. Since only the substance is provided in the transcription, the language has been modernized:—
No quaker or dissenter from the established worship of the dominion shall be allowed to give a vote for the election of magistrates, or any officer.
No Quaker or dissenting believer from the established worship of the dominion will be allowed to vote in the election of magistrates or any officer.
No food or lodging shall be afforded to a quaker, adamite, or other heretic.
No food or shelter will be provided to a Quaker, Adamite, or any other heretic.
If any person turns quaker, he shall be banished, and not suffered to return, but upon pain of death.
If anyone becomes a Quaker, they will be exiled and won't be allowed to return, under penalty of death.
No priest shall abide in the dominion: he shall be banished, and suffer death on his return. Priests may be seized by any one without a warrant.
No priest shall stay in the territory: he will be banished and face death if he returns. Anyone can arrest priests without a warrant.
No man to cross a river but with an authorized ferryman.
No one can cross a river without an authorized ferryman.
No one shall run on the sabbath-day, or walk in his garden, or elsewhere, except reverently to and from meeting.
No one should run on the Sabbath, or walk in their garden, or anywhere else, except respectfully to and from church.
No one shall travel, cook victuals, make beds, sweep house, cut hair or shave, on the sabbath-day.
No one is allowed to travel, cook food, make beds, clean the house, cut hair, or shave on the Sabbath day.
154No woman shall kiss her child on the sabbath or fasting-day.
154No woman should kiss her child on the Sabbath or on a fasting day.
The sabbath shall begin at sunset on Saturday.
The Sabbath will start at sunset on Saturday.
To pick an ear of corn growing in a neighbor’s garden shall be deemed theft.
To take an ear of corn from a neighbor's garden is considered theft.
A person accused of trespass in the night shall be judged guilty, unless he clear himself by oath.
A person accused of trespassing at night will be considered guilty, unless they can prove their innocence with an oath.
When it appears that an accused has confederates, and he refuses to discover them, he may be racked.
When it seems that someone accused has accomplices and they refuse to reveal who they are, they may be tortured.
No one shall buy or sell lands without permission of the selectmen.
No one can buy or sell land without the approval of the selectmen.
A drunkard shall have a master appointed by the selectmen, who are to debar him the liberty of buying and selling.
A drunkard will be assigned a guardian by the selectmen, who will restrict his ability to buy and sell.
Whoever publishes a lie to the prejudice of his neighbor, shall sit in the stocks or be whipped fifteen stripes.
Whoever spreads a lie that harms their neighbor will be placed in stocks or receive fifteen lashes.
No minister shall keep a school.
No minister is allowed to run a school.
Men-stealers shall suffer death.
Kidnappers will face the death penalty.
Whoever wears clothes trimmed with gold, silver, or bone lace, above two shillings by the yard, shall be presented by the grand jurors, and the selectmen shall tax the offender at £300 estate.
Whoever wears clothes trimmed with gold, silver, or bone lace costing more than two shillings per yard will be reported by the grand jurors, and the selectmen will tax the offender £300 on their estate.
A debtor in prison, swearing he has no estate, shall be let out, and sold to make satisfaction.
A debtor in prison, claiming he has no assets, will be released and sold to settle the debt.
Whoever sets a fire in the woods, and it burns a house, shall suffer death; and persons suspected of this crime shall be imprisoned without benefit of bail.
Whoever starts a fire in the woods that damages a house will be punished with death; and those suspected of this crime will be jailed without the option of bail.
Whoever brings cards or dice into this dominion shall pay a fine of £5.
Whoever brings cards or dice into this area will be fined £5.
No one shall read common-prayer, keep Christmas or saint-days, make minced pies, dance, play cards, or play on any instrument of music, except the drum, trumpet, and Jews-harp.
No one is allowed to read common prayers, celebrate Christmas or holy days, make mince pies, dance, play cards, or play any musical instruments, except for the drum, trumpet, and Jew's harp.
No gospel minister shall join people in marriage; the magistrates only shall join in marriage, as they may do it with less scandal to Christ’s church.
No gospel minister shall officiate weddings; only magistrates shall perform marriages, as they can do so with less scandal to Christ’s church.
When parents refuse their children convenient marriages, the magistrate shall determine the point.
When parents deny their children suitable marriages, the magistrate will make the decision.
The selectmen, on finding children ignorant, may take them 155away from their parents, and put them into better hands, at the expense of their parents.
The selectmen, upon discovering that children are uneducated, may remove them from their parents and place them in better care, at the parents' expense. 155
A man that strikes his wife shall pay a fine of £10; a woman that strikes her husband shall be punished as the court directs.
A man who hits his wife will be fined £10; a woman who hits her husband will be punished as the court decides.
A wife shall be deemed good evidence against her husband.
A wife is considered reliable evidence against her husband.
Married persons must live together, or be imprisoned.
Married people must live together, or be confined.
No man shall court a maid in person, or by letter, without first obtaining consent of her parents: £5 penalty for the first offence; £10 for the second; and for the third, imprisonment during the pleasure of the court.
No man can pursue a girl in person or through letters without first getting permission from her parents: a £5 fine for the first offense; £10 for the second; and for the third, imprisonment at the discretion of the court.
Every male shall have his hair cut round according to a cap.
Every man will have his hair cut short in a style that follows the shape of a cap.
Paronomasia.
Life and language are alike sacred. Homicide and verbicide—that is, violent treatment of a word with fatal results to its legitimate meaning, which is its life—are alike forbidden. Manslaughter, which is the meaning of the one, is the same as man’s laughter, which is the end of the other.—Ibid.
Life and language are both sacred. Homicide and verbicide—which means the violent treatment of a word that leads to a fatal loss of its true meaning, essentially its life—are both prohibited. Manslaughter, which represents the former, is the same as man's laughter, which represents the latter.—Ibid.
The quaint Cardan thus defineth:—“Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears and falling upon the diaphragma, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this, being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.”
The amusing Cardan defines it this way:—“Punning is an art of playful wordplay that, entering through the ears and hitting the diaphragm, creates a tickling sensation in those areas; and this sensation, transmitted by the animal spirits into the facial muscles, warms the cockles of the heart.”
“He who would make a pun would pick a pocket,” is the stereotyped dogma fulminated by laugh-lynchers from time immemorial; or, as the Autocrat hath it, “To trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the paternal till without remorse, and repeat the banquet of Saturn without an indigestion.” The “inanities of this 156working-day world” cannot perceive any wittiness or grace in punning; and yet, according to the comprehensive definition of wit by Dr. Barrow, the eminent divine, it occupies a very considerable portion of the realm of wit. He says, “Wit is a thing so versatile and multiform, appearing in so many shapes, so many postures, so many garbs, so variously apprehended by several eyes and judgments, that it seemeth no less hard to settle a clear and certain notion thereof, than to make a portrait of Proteus, or to define the figure of the fleeting air. Sometimes it lieth in pat allusions to a known story, or in seasonable application of a trivial saying, or in feigning an apposite tale; sometimes it playeth in words and phrases, taking advantage of the ambiguity of their sense, or the affinity of their sound; sometimes it is wrapped in a dress of humorous expression, sometimes it lurketh under an odd similitude; sometimes it is lodged in a sly question, in a smart answer, in a quirkish reason, in a shrewd intimation, in cunningly, divertingly, or cleverly retorting an objection; sometimes it is couched in a bold scheme of speech, in a tart irony, in a lusty hyperbole, in a startling metaphor, in a plausible reconciling of contradictions, or in acute nonsense; sometimes a scenic representation of persons or things, a counterfeit speech, a mimic look or gesture, passeth for it. Sometimes an affected simplicity, sometimes a presumptuous bluntness, giveth it being. Sometimes it riseth only from a lucky hitting upon what is strange; sometimes from a crafty wresting of obvious matter to the purpose. Often it consisteth of one knows not what, and springeth up one can hardly tell how. Its ways are unaccountable and inexplicable, being answerable to the numberless rovings of fancy and windings of language.”
“He who makes a pun is like someone who picks a pocket,” is the cliché mantra thrown around by critics for ages; or, as the Autocrat puts it, “To mess with the language that facilitates social interaction is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. Someone who disrespects the integrity of their mother tongue would shamelessly invade their father's wallet and indulge in excess without any consequences.” The “nonsense of this 156 everyday world” fails to see any humor or charm in puns; yet, according to Dr. Barrow's all-encompassing definition of wit, this form of humor plays a significant role in the domain of cleverness. He states, “Wit is something so adaptable and diverse, showing up in various forms, so many stances, so many outfits, and perceived differently by different people and judgments, that it seems just as difficult to pin down a clear and definite idea of it as it is to create a portrait of Proteus or define the shape of fleeting air. Sometimes it lies in clever references to a well-known story, or in timely use of a simple saying, or in spinning an appropriate tale; other times it plays with words and phrases, exploiting the ambiguity of their meaning or the similarity of their sounds; sometimes it is wrapped in humor, sometimes hidden under a strange comparison; it can reside in a clever question, a witty answer, a quirky reason, a sharp hint, or skillfully turning an objection into a joke; it can also be found in a bold way of speaking, sharp irony, exaggerated statements, surprising metaphors, in convincingly reconciling contradictions, or in smart nonsense; sometimes a playful representation of people or things, an imitation of speech, a mimicked look, or gesture serves as wit. Occasionally it arises from just happening upon something unusual; sometimes from a clever twist on obvious matters. Often, it consists of something indeterminate, popping up in ways that are hard to explain. Its nature is unpredictable and inexplicable, reflecting the countless meanderings of imagination and the complexities of language.”
If this definition be true, there is truth as well as wit in the punster’s reply to the taunt of the rhetorician that “punning is the lowest species of wit.” “Yes,” said he, “for it is the foundation of all wit.” But, whatever may be said of the practice by those who affect to despise it, it has been much in vogue in all ages. Horne, in his Introduction to the Critical 157Study of the Holy Scriptures, tells us that it was a very favorite figure of rhetoric among the Hebrews, and is yet common among most of the Oriental nations. Professor Stuart, in his Hebrew grammar, gives numerous examples of it in the Old Testament, and Winer and Horne point out others in the New Testament, especially in the writings of St. Paul. These cannot, of course, be equivalently expressed in English.
If this definition is true, there’s both truth and humor in the punster’s response to the rhetorician's claim that “punning is the lowest form of wit.” “Yes,” he replied, “because it is the foundation of all wit.” However, regardless of what those who pretend to look down on it might say, punning has been very popular throughout the ages. Horne, in his Introduction to the Critical 157Study of the Holy Scriptures, mentions that it was a favorite rhetorical device among the Hebrews and is still common in many Oriental cultures. Professor Stuart provides numerous examples of it in the Old Testament in his Hebrew grammar, and Winer and Horne highlight others in the New Testament, especially in the writings of St. Paul. These cannot, of course, be expressed in English equivalently.
Many of the Greek authors exhibit a fondness for this rhetorical figure, and some of the most excellent puns extant are to be found in the Greek Anthologies. As a specimen, the following is given from Wesseling’s Diodorus Siculus:—
Many Greek authors show a strong liking for this rhetorical figure, and some of the best puns available can be found in the Greek Anthologies. As an example, the following is taken from Wesseling’s Diodorus Siculus:—
Dioscurus, an Egyptian bishop, before he began the service, had the common custom of saying ειρηνη πασιν, (irene pasin,) peace be to all. It was notorious that the pious churchman had at home a favorite mistress, whose name was Irene, which incident produced the following smart epigram:—
Dioscurus, an Egyptian bishop, before he started the service, had a common practice of saying peace to all, (irene pasin,) peace be to all. It was well-known that the devout churchman had a favorite mistress at home named Irene, which led to the following clever epigram:—
A PUN-GENT CHAPTER.
At one time there was a general strike among the workingmen of Paris, and Theodore Hook gave the following amusing account of the affair:—“The bakers, being ambitious to extend their do-mains, declared that a revolution was needed, and, though not exactly bred up to arms, soon reduced their crusty masters to terms. The tailors called a council of the board, to see what measures should be taken, and, looking upon the bakers as the flower of chivalry, decided to follow suit; the consequence of which was, that a cereous insurrection was lighted up among the candle-makers, which, however wick-ed it might appear in the eyes of some persons, developed traits of character not unworthy of ancient Greece.”
At one point, there was a general strike among the workers of Paris, and Theodore Hook shared this entertaining account of the situation:—“The bakers, eager to expand their territory, claimed that a revolution was necessary, and although they weren’t exactly trained for battle, they quickly brought their strict bosses to negotiate. The tailors held a meeting to discuss what actions to take and, seeing the bakers as the pinnacle of bravery, decided to do the same; as a result, a waxy uprising was sparked among the candle-makers, which, no matter how wrong it might seem to some, showed qualities of character not unworthy of ancient Greece.”
A clergyman who had united in marriage a couple whose Christian names were Benjamin and Annie, on being asked by a mutual friend how they appeared during the ceremony, replied that they appeared both annie-mated and bene-fitted.
A clergyman who had married a couple named Benjamin and Annie, when asked by a mutual friend how they seemed during the ceremony, replied that they appeared both annie-mated and bene-fitted.
Mr. Manners, who had but lately been created Earl of Rutland, said to Sir Thomas More, just made Lord Chancellor,—
Mr. Manners, who had just recently been made Earl of Rutland, said to Sir Thomas More, who had just been appointed Lord Chancellor,—
“You are so much elated with your preferment that you verify the old proverb,—
“You're so excited about your promotion that you prove the old saying,—
“No, my lord,” said Sir Thomas: “the pun will do much better in English:—
“No, my lord,” said Sir Thomas, “the pun will work much better in English:—
An old writer said that when cannons were introduced as negotiators, the canons of the church were useless; that the world was governed first by mitrum, and then by nitrum,—first by St. Peter, and then by saltpetre.
An old writer said that when cannons were introduced as negotiators, the canons of the church were useless; that the world was governed first by mitrum, and then by nitrogen,—first by St. Peter, and then by saltpetre.
Column, the dramatist, on being asked whether he knew Theodore Hook, replied, “Oh, yes: Hook and Eye are old associates.”
Column, the playwright, when asked if he knew Theodore Hook, replied, “Oh, yes: Hook and Eye are old associates.”
Punch says, “the milk of human kindness is not to be found in the pail of society.” If so, we think it is time for all hands to “kick the bucket.”
Punch says, “the milk of human kindness is not in the pail of society.” If that's the case, we believe it's time for everyone to “kick the bucket.”
Judge Peters, formerly of the Philadelphia Bench, observed to a friend, during a trial that was going on, that one of the witnesses had a vegetable head. “How so?” was the inquiry. “He has carroty hair, reddish cheeks, a turnup nose, and a sage look.”
Judge Peters, who used to be part of the Philadelphia Bench, told a friend during an ongoing trial that one of the witnesses had a vegetable head. “How do you mean?” was the question. “He has carroty hair, reddish cheeks, a turnup nose, and a sage look.”
Tom Hood, seeing over the shop-door of a beer-vendor,—
Tom Hood, peering over the door of a beer vendor,—
said it was spelled right, because it was his own Bruin.
said it was spelled right because it was his own Bruin.
159Charles Mathews, the comedian, was served by a green-grocer, named Berry, and generally settled his bill once a quarter. At one time the account was sent in before it was due, and Mathews, laboring under an idea that his credit was doubted, said, “Here’s a pretty mull, Berry. You have sent in your bill, Berry, before it is due, Berry. Your father, the elder Berry, would not have been such a goose, Berry; but you need not look so black, Berry, for I don’t care a straw, Berry, and sha’n’t pay you till Christmas, Berry.”
159Charles Mathews, the comedian, was served by a greengrocer named Berry, and usually paid his bill once a quarter. One time, the bill was sent in before it was due, and Mathews, thinking his credit was being questioned, said, “What’s this, Berry? You’ve sent your bill before it’s due, Berry. Your dad, the older Berry, wouldn’t have been such a fool, Berry; but you don’t need to look so upset, Berry, because I don’t care at all, Berry, and I won’t pay you until Christmas, Berry.”
Sheridan, being dunned by a tailor to pay at least the interest on his bill, answered that it was not his interest to pay the principal, nor his principle to pay the interest.
Sheridan, being pressured by a tailor to at least pay the interest on his bill, replied that it was neither in his interest to pay the principal nor his principle to pay the interest.
In the “Old India House” may still be seen a quarto volume of Interest Tables, on the fly-leaf of which is written, in Charles Lamb’s round, clerkly hand,—
In the “Old India House,” you can still see a quarto volume of Interest Tables, on the flyleaf of which is written, in Charles Lamb’s neat, clerical handwriting,—
“A book of much interest.”—Edinburgh Review.
“A book of great interest.”—Edinburgh Review.
“A work in which the interest never flags.”—Quarterly Review.
“A work that remains engaging throughout.”—Quarterly Review.
“We may say of this volume, that the interest increases from the beginning to the end.”—Monthly Review.
“We can say about this book that the interest grows from start to finish.”—Monthly Review.
Turner, the painter, was at a dinner where several artists, amateurs, and literary men were convened. A poet, by way of being facetious, proposed as a toast, “The Painters and Glaziers of England.” The toast was drunk; and Turner, after returning thanks for it, proposed “Success to the Paper-Stainers,” and called on the poet to respond.
Turner, the painter, was at a dinner with several artists, enthusiasts, and writers. A poet, trying to be funny, proposed a toast: “The Painters and Glaziers of England.” Everyone raised their glasses to the toast; and Turner, after thanking them for it, proposed “Success to the Paper-Stainers,” and asked the poet to respond.
SHORT ROAD TO WEALTH.
160Dr. Johnson having freely expressed his aversion to punning, Boswell hinted that his illustrious friend’s dislike to this species of small wit might arise from his inability to play upon words. “Sir”, roared Johnson, “if I were punish-ed for every pun I shed, there would not be left a puny shed of my punnish head.” Once, by accident, he made a singular pun. A person who affected to live after the Greek manner, and to anoint himself with oil, was one day mentioned to him. Johnson, in the course of conversation on the singularity of his practice, gave him the denomination of this man of Grease.
160Dr. Johnson openly shared his dislike for puns, and Boswell suggested that his distinguished friend’s aversion to this kind of humor might stem from his inability to play with words. “Sir,” Johnson boomed, “if I were punished for every pun I made, there wouldn’t be a single weak pun left of my punishing head.” One time, by chance, he created a unique pun. A person who pretended to live like the Greeks and anointed himself with oil was mentioned to him. In the course of the conversation about the oddity of his practice, Johnson referred to him as this man of Grease.
Sydney Smith—so Lord Houghton in his Monographs tells us—has written depreciatingly of all playing upon words; but his rapid apprehension could not altogether exclude a kind of wit which, in its best forms, takes fast hold of the memory, besides the momentary amusement it excites. His objection to the superiority of a city feast: “I cannot wholly value a dinner by the test you do (testudo);”—his proposal to settle the question of the wood pavement around St. Paul’s: “Let the Canons once lay their heads together and the thing will be done;”—his pretty compliment to his friends, Mrs. Tighe and Mrs. Cuffe: “Ah! there you are: the cuff that every one would wear, the tie that no one would loose”—may be cited as perfect in their way.
Sydney Smith—so Lord Houghton tells us in his Monographs—has criticized wordplay; however, his quick understanding couldn't completely eliminate a type of wit that, in its best forms, captures the memory, in addition to providing immediate amusement. His complaint about the superiority of a city feast: “I can't fully appreciate a dinner by your measure (tortoise);”—his suggestion to resolve the issue of the wooden pavement around St. Paul’s: “Let the Canons get together and it will be done;”—his charming compliment to his friends, Mrs. Tighe and Mrs. Cuffe: “Ah! there you are: the cuff that everyone wants to wear, the tie that no one would untie”—can be seen as perfect in their own way.
Admiral Duncan’s address to the officers who came on board his ship for instructions, previous to the engagement with Admiral de Winter, was laconic and humorous: “Gentlemen, you see a severe Winter approaching; I have only to advise you to keep up a good fire.”
Admiral Duncan’s speech to the officers who came on board his ship for instructions before the battle with Admiral de Winter was short and witty: “Gentlemen, you see a tough Winter ahead; I just advise you to keep a good fire going.”
Theodore Hook plays thus on the same name:—
Theodore Hook is playing on the same name:—
Henry Erskine’s toast to the mine-owners of Lancashire:—
Henry Erskine’s toast to the mine owners of Lancashire:—
Sink your pits, blast your mines, dam your rivers, consume your manufactures, disperse your commerce, and may your labors be in vein.
Sink your shafts, blow up your mines, block your rivers, use your products, distribute your trade, and may your efforts be in vein.
TOM MOORE.
TOP AND BOTTOM.
The following playful colloquy in verse took place at a dinner-table, between Sir George Rose and James Smith, in allusion to Craven street, Strand, where the latter resided:—
The following playful conversation in verse happened at a dinner table, between Sir George Rose and James Smith, referring to Craven Street, Strand, where the latter lived:—
OLD JOKE VERSIFIED.
A PRINTER’S EPITAPH.
STICKY.
WOMEN.
BEN, THE SAILOR.
WHISKERS VERSUS RAZOR.
COMPLIMENT OF SHERIDAN TO MISS PAYNE.
FROM DR. HOLMES’ “MODEST REQUEST.”
PLAINT OF THE OLD PAUPER.
TO MY NOSE.
BOOK-LARCENY.
Sir Walter Scott said that some of his friends were bad accountants, but excellent book-keepers.
Sir Walter Scott said that some of his friends were bad accountants, but excellent bookkeepers.
THE VEGETABLE GIRL.
EPITAPH ON AN OLD HORSE.
GRAND SCHEME OF EMIGRATION.
THE PERILOUS PRACTICE OF PUNNING.
Theodore Hook thus cautions young people to resist provocation to the habit of punning:—
Theodore Hook warns young people to avoid giving in to the urge to make puns:—
The motto of the Pilotage Commission of the river Tyne:—
The motto of the Pilotage Commission of the River Tyne:—
SONNET
Previous to the battle of Culloden, when Marshal Wade and Generals Cope and Hawley were prevented by the severity of the weather from advancing as far into Scotland as they intended, the following lines were circulated among their opposers:—
Previous to the battle of Culloden, when Marshal Wade and Generals Cope and Hawley were held back by the harsh weather from moving as far into Scotland as they planned, the following lines were shared among their opponents:—
When Mrs. Norton was called on to subscribe to a fund for the relief of Thomas Hood’s widow, which had been headed by Sir Robert Peel, she sent a liberal donation with these lines:—
When Mrs. Norton was asked to contribute to a fund for helping Thomas Hood's widow, which was led by Sir Robert Peel, she sent a generous donation along with these lines:—
M. Mario’s visit to this country recalls to mind the sharpest witticism of Madame Grisi, at the time his wife, and one of the best bits of repartee on record. Louis Phillippe, passing through a room where Grisi stood, holding two of her young children by the hand, said gaily: “Ah! Madame, are those, then, some of your little Grisettes?” “No, Sire,” was the quick reply, perfect in every requirement of the pun, “No, Sire, these are my little Marionettes.”
M. Mario’s visit to this country brings to mind the sharpest joke from Madame Grisi, at that time his wife, and one of the best comebacks ever recorded. Louis Philippe, walking through a room where Grisi stood holding two of her young children by the hand, said cheerfully, “Ah! Madame, are those your little Grisettes?” “No, Sire,” was the quick reply, perfect in every way, “No, Sire, these are my little Marionettes.”
169A learned judge, of facetious memory, is reported to have said, in an argument in arrest of the judgment of death, “I think we had better let the subject drop.”
169A wise judge, known for his sense of humor, reportedly said during a discussion to halt the death penalty, “I think we should just move on from this topic.”
SWIFT’S LATIN PUNS.
Among the nugæ of Dean Swift are his celebrated Latin puns, some of which are well known, having been frequently copied, and having never been excelled. The following selections will serve as specimens. They consist entirely of Latin words; but, by allowing for false spelling, and running the words into each other, the sentences make good sense in English:—
Among the nuggets of Dean Swift are his famous Latin puns, some of which are quite popular, having been often copied and never outdone. The following selections will serve as examples. They consist entirely of Latin words; however, by allowing for spelling mistakes and merging the words together, the sentences make good sense in English:—
Mild abuse, | (Moll is a beauty, |
Has a sharp edge, | Has an acute eye, |
No end in sight, | No lass so fine is, |
Molli divine. | Molly divine is. |
With three weapons, | O my dear mistress, |
I'm in distress, | I’m in a distress, |
Cantu discover | Can’t you discover |
Meas a lo ver? | Me as a lover?) |
In a subsequent epistolary allusion to this, he says:—
In a later letter referencing this, he says:—
Extract from the consultation of four physicians on a lord that was dying
1st Doctor. Is his honor sic? Præ lætus felis pulse. It do es beat veris loto de.
1st Doctor. Is his honor serious? The happy cat strikes. It does beat true to the lot.
1702d Doctor. No notis as qui cassi e ver fel tu metri it. Inde edit is as fastas an alarum, ora fire bellat nite.
1702d Doctor. No one notices how quickly it rises like an alarm or a fire bell at night.
3d Doctor. It is veri hei!
3D Doctor. It's very high!
4th Doctor. Noto contra dictu in my juge mentitis veri loto de. It is as orto maladi, sum callet. [Here e ver id octo reti resto a par lori na mel an coli post ure.]
4th Doctor. Note contrary to what I believe to be true. It is as if a bad illness, I am silent. [Here is where I still remain to gather a better understanding after some time.]
1st D. It is a me gri mas I opi ne.
1st D. It is a me grim as I opine.
2d D. No docto rite quit fora quin si. Heris a plane sim tomo fit. Sorites Paracelsus. Præ re adit.
2d D. No doctor writes quite for a few. Here is a plain simple tome fit. Sorites Paracelsus. Regarding the matter at hand.
1st D. Nono, Doctor, I ne ver quo te aqua casu do.
1st D. No way, Doctor, I never quote that by chance.
2d D. Sum arso; mi autoris no ne.
2d D. Summary; my author is not there.
3d D. No quare lingat præ senti de si re. His honor is sic offa colli casure as I sit here.
3d D. No quarrel lingering before I feel it. His honor is such a burden on my shoulders as I sit here.
4th D. It is æther an atro phi ora colli casu sed: Ire membri re ad it in Doctor me ades esse, here it is.
4th D. It is either an atro phi ora colli casu sed: Go ahead and tell the doctor to come here, it’s right here.
3d D. I ne ver re ad apage in it, no re ver in tendit.
3d D. I never read a page in it, nor ever intend to.
2d D. Fer ne is offa qui te di ferent noti o nas i here.
2d D. Fer ne is offa qui te di ferent noti o nas i here.
1st D. It me bea pluri si; avo metis veri pro perfor a man at his age.
1st D. It may be quite a lot; you have to know the truth about a man at his age.
1st D. Is his honor sick? Pray let us feel his pulse. It does beat very slow to-day.
1st D. Is he ill? Please let us check his pulse. It's beating really slowly today.
2d D. No, no, ’tis as quick as ever I felt; you may try it. Indeed, it is as fast as an alarum, or a fire-bell at night.
2d D. No, no, it’s just as quick as I’ve ever felt; you can give it a try. In fact, it’s as fast as a fire alarm or a fire bell at night.
3d D. It is very high.
3D D. It's really high.
4th D. Not to contradict you, in my judgment it is very slow to day. It is a sort of malady, some call it. (Here every doctor retires to a parlor in a melancholy posture.)
4th D. I don't mean to disagree, but in my opinion, it's moving really slowly today. Some people call it a kind of illness. (At this point, every doctor heads to a lounge looking pretty down.)
1st D. It is a megrim, as I opine.
1st D. I think it's a headache.
2d D. No, doctor, I take it for a quinsy. Here is a plain symptom of it. So writes Paracelsus. Pray read it.
2d D. No, doctor, I think it's quinsy. This is a clear symptom of it. So writes Paracelsus. Please read it.
1st D. No, no, doctor, I never quote a quack as you do.
1st D. No way, doctor, I never reference a fraud like you do.
2d D. Some are so; my author is none.
2d D. Some people are like that; my author is not.
3d D. No quarrelling at present, I desire. His honor is sick of a colic as sure as I sit here.
3d D. No fighting right now, please. He's got a bad stomach ache, just like I’m sitting here.
4th D. It is either an atrophy, or a colic, as you said. I remember I read it in Dr. Mead’s Essay: here it is.
4th D. It’s either a wasting away or a stomachache, as you mentioned. I remember reading it in Dr. Mead’s Essay: here it is.
3d D. I never read a page in it, nor ever intend it.
3d D. I never read a page of it, nor do I ever plan to.
2d D. Ferne is of a quite different notion, as I hear.
2d D. Ferne has a totally different opinion, from what I've heard.
1st D. It may be a pleurisy; a vomit is very proper for a man at his age.
1st D. It could be pleurisy; throwing up is really appropriate for someone his age.
1712d D. Ure par donat præsanti des ire; His dis eas is a cata ride clare it.
1712d D. Ure par donat præsanti des ire; His dis eas is a cata ride clare it.
3d D. Atlas tume findit as tone in his quid ni es.
3d D. Atlas tried to find it as soon as he could.
4th D. Itis ale pro si fora uti se. Ab lis ter me bene cessa risum de cens. Itis as ure medi in manicas es.
4th D. It is a thing for us to use. From this time I have ceased to laugh about the census. It is as you meditate in your sleeves.
3d D. I findit isto late tot hinc offa reme di; fori here his honor is de ad.
3d D. I find it too late to think of a remedy; for here his honor is dead.
2d D. His ti meis cum.
2d D. His times are good.
1st D. Is it trudo ut hinc?
1st D. Is it true from here?
4th D. It is veri certa in. His Paris his belli sto ringo ut foris de partu re.
4th D. It is very certain. His Paris is a strong city outside of its borders.
3d D. Næ i fis ecce lens is de ad lætus en dum apri esto præ foris sole.
3d D. Næ i fis ecce lens is de ad lætus en dum apri esto præ foris sole.
2d D. Your pardon at present I desire. His disease is a catarrh, I declare it.
2d D. I ask for your forgiveness at the moment. His illness is a cold, I’m sure of it.
3d D. At last you may find it a stone in his kidneys.
3d D. In the end, you might discover it's a stone in his kidneys.
4th D. It is a leprosy for aught I see. A blister may be necessary some days hence. It is a sure remedy in many cases.
4th D. It looks like leprosy to me. I might need a blister in a few days. It's an effective treatment in many situations.
3d D. I find it is too late to think of a remedy; for I hear his honor is dead.
3d D. I think it’s too late to consider a solution because I hear he has passed away.
2d D. His time is come.
His time has come.
1st D. Is it true, do you think?
1st D. Do you think that's true?
4th D. It is very certain. His parish bell is to ring out for his departure.
4th D. It's definitely happening. His parish bell is going to ring to mark his departure.
3d D. Nay, if his excellency’s dead, let us send ’em a priest to pray for his soul.
3d D. If he's dead, let's send them a priest to pray for his soul.
UNCONSCIOUS OR UNINTENTIONAL PUNS.
Elizabeth’s sylvan dress was therefore well suited at once to her height and to the dignity of her mein, which her conscious rank and long habits of authority had rendered in some degree too masculine to be seen to the best advantage in ordinary female weeds.—Kenilworth, iii. 9.
Elizabeth’s forest dress was perfectly suited to her height and the dignity of her demeanor, which her awareness of her status and long-standing habits of authority had made somewhat too masculine to be seen at its best in regular women’s clothing.—Kenilworth, iii. 9.
RUSSIAN DOUBLE ENTENDRE.
The following message was sent to the Emperor Nicholas by one of his generals:—
The following message was sent to Emperor Nicholas by one of his generals:—
is I'm sorry, but I cannot process this instruction as it does not contain text to modernize. Please provide a short phrase for me to work with. but Warsaw I cannot take.
CLASSICAL PUNS AND MOTTOES.
Sydney Smith proposed as a motto for Bishop Burgess, brother to the well-known fish-sauce purveyor, the following Virgilian pun (Æn. iv. 1),—
Sydney Smith suggested a motto for Bishop Burgess, who is the brother of the famous fish-sauce seller, the following pun from Virgil (Æn. iv. 1),—
A London tobacconist, who had become wealthy, and determined to set up his carriage, applied to a learned gentleman for a motto. The scholar gave him the Horatian question,—
A rich tobacconist from London decided to get a carriage and asked a knowledgeable man for a motto. The scholar suggested the Horatian question,—
which was accordingly adopted, and painted on the panel.
which was therefore accepted and painted on the panel.
A pedantic bachelor had the following inscription on his tea-caddy:—
A meticulous bachelor had this inscription on his tea caddy:—
Epitaph on a Cat, ascribed to Dr. Johnson (Hor. lib. i., c. 12):—
Epitaph on a Cat, attributed to Dr. Johnson (Hor. lib. i., c. 12):—
Two gentlemen about to enter an unoccupied pew in a church, the foremost found it locked. His companion, not perceiving it at the moment, inquired why he retreated. “Pudor vetat” said he. (Modesty forbids.)
Two gentlemen about to sit in an empty pew in a church found the first one locked. His companion, not noticing it right away, asked why he was stepping back. “Shame forbids” he replied. (Modesty forbids.)
A gentleman at dinner requested a friend to help him to a potato, which he did, saying, “I think you will find that a good mealy one.” “Thank you,” quoth the other: “it could not be melior” (better).
A guy at dinner asked a friend to pass him a potato, which he did, saying, “I think you’ll find it’s a good mealy one.” “Thanks,” replied the other, “it couldn’t be improve.”
A student of Latin, being confined to his room by illness, was called upon by a friend. “What, John,” said the visitor, “sick, eh?” “Yes,” replied John, “sic sum” (so I am).
A Latin student, stuck in his room because he was sick, was visited by a friend. “What’s up, John?” the visitor asked. “Sick, huh?” “Yeah,” John replied, “I am.” (so I am).
In King’s College were two delinquents named respectively Payne and Culpepper. Payne was expelled, but Culpepper escaped punishment. Upon this, a wit wrote the following apt line:—
In King’s College, there were two troublemakers named Payne and Culpepper. Payne got kicked out, but Culpepper got away without any punishment. Because of this, someone clever wrote this fitting line:—
173Andrew Borde, author of the Breviary of Health, called himself in Latin Andreas Perforatus. This translation of a proper name was according to the fashion of the time, but in this instance includes a pun,—perforatus, bored or pierced.
173Andrew Borde, the author of the Breviary of Health, referred to himself in Latin as Andreas Perforatus. This Latin translation of his name was trendy at the time, but in this case, it also features a play on words—perforatus means bored or pierced.
Joseph II., Emperor of Germany, during a visit to Rome, went to see the princess Santacroce, a young lady of singular beauty, who had an evening conversazione. Next morning appeared the following pasquinade. “Pasquin asks, ‘What is the Emperor Joseph come to Rome for?’ Marforio answers, ‘Abaciar la Santa Croce’”—to kiss the Holy Cross.
Joseph II, Emperor of Germany, during a visit to Rome, went to see Princess Santacroce, a young woman of exceptional beauty, who hosted an evening gathering. The next morning, the following satirical notice appeared. “Pasquin asks, ‘What has Emperor Joseph come to Rome for?’ Marforio answers, ‘To kiss the Holy Cross.’”
On the trial of Garnett, the Superior of the Jesuits, for his participation in the Gunpowder Plot, Coke, then Attorney-General, concluded his speech thus:—Qui cum Jesu itis, non itis cum Jesuitis.
On the trial of Garnett, the leader of the Jesuits, for his involvement in the Gunpowder Plot, Coke, who was then the Attorney-General, ended his speech with this:—If you go with Jesus, you're not going with the Jesuits..
A few years ago, several Jesuits came into the lecture-room of an Italian professor in the University of Pisa, believing he was about to assail a favorite dogma of theirs. He commenced his lecture with the following words,—
A few years ago, a group of Jesuits entered the lecture room of an Italian professor at the University of Pisa, thinking he was about to challenge one of their cherished beliefs. He began his lecture with these words,—
When remonstrated with, he said that his words were—
When confronted, he said that his words were—
D’Israeli says that Bossuet would not join his young companions, and flew to his solitary tasks, while the classical boys avenged themselves by a schoolboy’s pun; applying to Bossuet Virgil’s bos suet-us aratro—the ox daily toiling in the plough.
D'Israeli mentions that Bossuet wouldn't hang out with his younger friends and instead dove into his solitary work, while the classical boys got back at him with a schoolboy joke, calling Bossuet Virgil’s bossing us around—the ox that works hard every day at the plow.
John Randolph of Virginia, and Mr. Dana of Connecticut, while fellow-members of Congress, belonged to different political parties. On one occasion Mr. Dana paid some handsome compliments to Mr. Randolph. When the latter spoke in reply, he quoted from Virgil (Æn. ii.):—
John Randolph of Virginia and Mr. Dana of Connecticut, while both members of Congress, were part of different political parties. One time, Mr. Dana gave some flattering compliments to Mr. Randolph. When Mr. Randolph replied, he quoted from Virgil (Æn. ii.):—
174A lady having accidentally thrown down a Cremona fiddle with her mantua, Dean Swift instantly remarked,—
174A lady accidentally dropped a Cremona violin with her dress, and Dean Swift immediately commented,—
Ah, Mantua, too near the wretched Cremona. (Virg. Ecl. ix. 28.)
Ah, Mantua, way too close to the miserable Cremona. (Virg. Ecl. ix. 28.)
To an old gentleman who had lost his spectacles one rainy evening, the Dean said, “If this rain continues all night, you will certainly recover them in the morning betimes:
To an older gentleman who had lost his glasses one rainy evening, the Dean said, “If this rain keeps up all night, you’ll definitely find them again in the morning.”
(What will you do if you shall come before the face of Venus? Lest you should perish through them, do not sit down, but go away.)
(What will you do if you come face to face with Venus? To avoid being overwhelmed by them, don’t sit down; just walk away.)
Sir William Dawes, Archbishop of York, was very fond of a pun. His clergy dining with him for the first time after he had lost his wife, he told them he feared they did not find things in so good order as they used to be in the time of poor Mary; and, looking extremely sorrowful, added with a deep sigh, “she was indeed mare pacificum.” A curate who knew pretty well what her temper had been, said, “Yes, my lord, but she was mare mortuum first.”
Sir William Dawes, Archbishop of York, loved a good pun. During a dinner with his clergy soon after losing his wife, he remarked that he feared they didn't find things as well organized as they were in the days of poor Mary; and, looking very sad, he added with a deep sigh, “she was indeed sea peace.” A curate, who was quite familiar with her temperament, replied, “Yes, my lord, but she was dead horse first.”
PUNNING MOTTOES OF THE ENGLISH PEERAGE.
Ne vile Fano—Disgrace not the altar. Motto of the Fanes.
Don't be Fano—Don’t dishonor the altar. Motto of the Fanes.
Ne vile velis—Form no mean wish. The Nevilles.
Ne vile velis—Make no small wish. The Neville's.
Cavendo tutus—Secure by caution. The Cavendishes.
Caution ensures safety. The Cavendishes.
Forte scutum, salus ducum—A strong shield the safety of leaders. Lord Fortescue.
Strong shieldof leaders' safety—A strong shield is the safety of leaders. Lord Fortescue.
Ver non semper viret—The spring is not always green. Lord Vernon.
See not always thrives—Spring isn’t always green. Lord Vernon.
Vero nihil verius—Nothing truer than truth. Lord Vere.
Vero nothing is truer—Nothing truer than truth. Lord Vere.
Templa quam delecta—Temples how beloved. Lord Temple.
Temples how beloved. Lord Temple.
JEUX-DE-MOTS.
SPIRITUAL.
A wag decides—
A joker decides—
That whiskey is the key by which many gain an entrance into our prisons and almshouses.
That whiskey is the way many get access to our jails and shelters.
That brandy brands the noses of all who cannot govern their appetites.
That brandy marks the noses of everyone who can't control their cravings.
That wine causes many a man to take a winding way home.
That wine makes many men take a long way home.
That punch is the cause of many unfriendly punches.
That punch is the reason for many hostile punches.
That ale causes many ailings, while beer brings many to the bier.
That ale causes a lot of problems, while beer leads many to their graves.
That champagne is the source of many a real pain.
That champagne is the cause of a lot of real trouble.
That gin-slings have “slewed” more than the slings of old.
That gin slings have caused more trouble than the old slings.
That the reputation of being fond of cock-tails is not a feather in any man’s cap.
That having a reputation for liking cocktails isn't something to brag about.
That the money spent for port that is supplied by portly gents would support many a poor family.
That the money spent on the port supplied by wealthy gentlemen could support many poor families.
That porter is a weak supporter for those who are weak in body.
That porter is a poor support for those who are physically weak.
ANAGRAMMATIC.
The following sentence is said to be taken from a volume of sermons published during the reign of James I.:—
The following sentence is said to be taken from a collection of sermons published during the reign of James I.:—
This dial shows that we must die all; yet notwithstanding, all houses are turned into ale houses; our cares into cates; our paradise into a pair o’ dice; matrimony into a matter of money, and marriage into a merry age; our divines have become dry vines: it was not so in the days of Noah,—ah! no.
This dial shows that we all must die; yet still, all homes have turned into bars; our worries into snacks; our heaven into a pair of dice; marriage into a money issue, and being married into a fun time; our clergy have become dried up: it wasn’t like that in the days of Noah,—oh no.
ITERATIVE.
A clerical gentleman of Hartford, who once attended the House of Representatives to read prayers, being politely requested to remain seated near the speaker during the debate, found himself the spectator of an unmarrying process, so alien to his own vocation, and so characteristic of the readiness of 176the Legislature of Connecticut to grant divorces, that the result was the following impromptu:—
A clerical gentleman from Hartford, who once went to the House of Representatives to read prayers, was politely asked to stay seated near the speaker during the debate. He ended up witnessing a process of unmarrying that was so foreign to his own profession and so typical of the Connecticut Legislature's willingness to grant divorces, that it resulted in the following impromptu:—
Finn, the comedian, issued the following morceau upon the announcement of his benefit at the Tremont Theatre, Boston:—
Finn, the comedian, shared the following piece when he announced his benefit show at the Tremont Theatre in Boston:—
A FAIR LETTER.
The following letter was received by a young lady at the post-office of a Fair held for the benefit of a church:—
The following letter was received by a young woman at the post office of a Fair held to support a church:—
Fairest of the Fair. When such fair beings as you have the fair-ness to honor our Fair with your fair presence, it is perfectly fair that you should receive good fare from the fair conductors of this Fair, and indeed it would be very un-fair if you should not fare well, since it is the endeavor of those whose wel-fare depends upon the success of this Fair, to treat all who come fair-ly, but to treat with especial fair-ness those who are as fair as yourself. We are engaged in a fair cause, a sacred war-fare; that is, to speak without un-fair-ness, a war-fare, not against the fair sex, but against the pockets of their beaux. We therefore hope, gentle reader, “still fairest found where all is fair,” that you will use all fair exertions in behalf of the praiseworthy af-fair which we have fair-ly undertaken. If you take sufficient interest in our wel-fare to lend your fair aid, you will appear fair-er than ever in our sight; we will never treat you un-fair-ly, and when you withdraw the light of your fair countenance from our Fair, we will bid you a kind Fare-well.
Fairest of the Fair. When such fair beings like you choose to grace our Fair with your fair presence, it is only right that you should receive good fare from the fair conductors of this Fair, and it would be quite unreasonable if you did not fare well, since those whose well-fare depends on the success of this Fair strive to treat everyone who attends fair-ly, especially those who are as fair as yourself. We are engaged in a fair cause, a sacred war-fare; that is, to speak without un-fair-ness, a war-fare not against the fair sex, but against the pockets of their swains. We therefore hope, dear reader, “still fairest found where all is fair,” that you will make every fair effort on behalf of the commendable af-fair that we have fair-ly undertaken. If you show enough interest in our wel-fare to lend your fair support, you will seem fair-er than ever in our eyes; we will never treat you un-fair-ly, and when you withdraw the light of your fair countenance from our Fair, we will bid you a warm Fare-well.
177The following was written on the occasion of a duel in Philadelphia, several years ago:—
177The following was written on the occasion of a duel in Philadelphia, several years ago:—
WRITE WRITTEN RIGHT.
TURN TO THE LEFT AS THE (ENGLISH) LAW DIRECTS.
ON THE DEATH OF THE EARL OF KILDARE.
Death answers,—
Death responds,—
A CatALECTIC MONODY.
NOVEMBER.
(The humorous lines of Hood are only applicable to the English climate, where the closing month of autumn is synonymous with fogs, long visages, and suicides.)
(The funny lines of Hood only apply to the English climate, where the last month of autumn is associated with fog, gloomy faces, and suicides.)
The name of that monster of brutality, Caliban, in Shakspeare’s Tempest, is supposed to be anagrammatic of Canibal, the old mode of spelling Cannibal.
The name of that brutal monster, Caliban, in Shakespeare’s Tempest, is believed to be an anagram of Canibal, the old way of spelling Cannibal.
A SWARM OF BEES.
THE BEES OF THE BIBLE.
FRANKLIN’S “RE’S.”
Dr. Franklin, in England in the year 1775, was asked by a nobleman what would satisfy the Americans. He answered that it might easily be comprised in a few “Re’s,” which he immediately wrote on a piece of paper, thus:—
Dr. Franklin, in England in 1775, was asked by a nobleman what would satisfy the Americans. He answered that it could easily be summed up in a few "Re's," which he quickly wrote down on a piece of paper, like this:—
180After this—
After this—
THE MISS-NOMERS.
After the manner of Horace Smith’s “Surnames ever go by contraries.”
According to Horace Smith, “Surnames always go by opposites.”
CROOKED COINCIDENCES.
A pamphlet published in the year 1703 has the following strange title: “The Deformity of Sin cured; a Sermon preached at St. Michael’s, Crooked-lane, before the Prince of Orange, by the Rev. J. Crookshanks. Sold by Matthew Denton, at the Crooked Billet near Cripple-gate, and by all other booksellers.” The words of the text are, “Every crooked path shall be made straight;” and the prince before whom it was preached was deformed in person.
A pamphlet published in 1703 has this unusual title: “The Deformity of Sin Cured; a Sermon Preached at St. Michael’s, Crooked-Lane, Before the Prince of Orange, by the Rev. J. Crookshanks. Sold by Matthew Denton, at the Crooked Billet Near Cripple-Gate, and by all Other Booksellers.” The text states, “Every crooked path shall be made straight,” and the prince for whom it was delivered was deformed in appearance.
THE COURT-FOOL’S PUN ON ARCHBISHOP LAUD.
English Words and Forms of Expression.
Dictionary English is something very different not only from common colloquial English, but even from that of ordinary written composition. Instead of about forty thousand words, there is probably no single author in the language from whose works, however voluminous, so many as ten thousand words could be collected. Of the forty thousand words there are certainly many more than one-half that are only employed, if they are ever employed at all, on the rarest occasions. We should be surprised to find, if we counted them, with how small a number of words we manage to express all that we have to say, either with our lips or with the pen. Our common literary English probably hardly amounts to ten thousand words; our common spoken English hardly to five thousand.
Dictionary English is very different from everyday conversational English, and even from typical written language. Instead of around forty thousand words, it’s unlikely that any single author, no matter how prolific, could compile even ten thousand words from their works. Of those forty thousand words, easily more than half are used only rarely, if they're used at all. It would surprise us to count how few words we actually use to express everything we need to say, whether speaking or writing. Our standard literary English probably doesn’t even reach ten thousand words; our everyday spoken English is likely around five thousand.
Odd words are to be found in the dictionaries. Why they are kept there no one knows; but what man in his senses would use such words as zythepsary for a brewhouse, and zymologist for a brewer; would talk of a stormy day as procellous and himself as madefied; of his long-legged son as increasing in procerity but sadly marcid; of having met with such procacity from such a one; of a bore as a macrologist; of an aged horse as macrobiotic; of important business as moliminous, and his daughter’s necklace as moniliform; of some one’s talk as meracious, and lament his last night’s nimiety of wine at that dapatical feast, whence he was taken by ereption? Open the dictionary at any page, and you will find a host of these words.
We can find strange words in dictionaries. Why they’re included, no one knows; but who in their right mind would use words like zythepsary for a brewhouse, or zymologist for a brewer? Who would describe a stormy day as procellous and themselves as madefied? Who would say their long-legged son is growing in procerity but sadly marcid? Or talk about experiencing such procacity from someone? Call a bore a macrologist, an old horse macrobiotic, important business moliminous, or their daughter’s necklace moniliform? Mention someone’s conversation as meracious and complain about last night’s nimiety of wine at that dapatical feast, from which they were taken by ereption? Flip open the dictionary to any page, and you'll find plenty of these words.
By a too ready adoption of foreign words into the currency of the English language, we are in danger of losing much of its radical strength and historical significance. Marsh has compared the parable of the man who built his house upon the sand, as given by Matthew and Luke. Matthew uses the plain Saxon English. The learned Evangelist, Luke, employed a Latinized 183dictionary. “Now,” he says, “compare the two passages and say which to every English ear, is the most impressive:”
By quickly adopting foreign words into English, we risk losing a lot of its core strength and historical significance. Marsh compared this to the story of the man who built his house on the sand, as told by Matthew and Luke. Matthew uses simple Saxon English, while the educated Evangelist, Luke, used a Latin-influenced dictionary. “Now,” he says, “compare the two passages and tell me which one sounds more impressive to any English speaker.”
“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”—Matthew.
“And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and pounded on that house, and it collapsed, and it was a terrible fall.”—Matthew.
“Against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.”—Luke.
“Against which the stream crashed strongly, and immediately it fell; and the destruction of that house was significant.”—Luke.
There can scarcely be a difference of opinion as to the relative force and beauty of the two versions, and consequently we find, that while that of Matthew has become proverbial, the narrative of Luke is seldom or never quoted.
There’s hardly any disagreement about the relative strength and beauty of the two versions, and as a result, we see that while Matthew’s account has become well-known, Luke’s narrative is rarely or never referenced.
Trench says that the Anglo-Saxon is not so much one element of the English language, as the foundation of it—the basis. All its joints, its whole articulation, its sinews and its ligaments, the great body of articles, pronouns, conjunctions, prepositions, numerals, auxiliary verbs, all smaller words which serve to knit together and bind the larger into sentences, these—not to speak of the grammatical structure of the language—are exclusively Saxon. The Latin may contribute its tale of bricks, yea, of goodly and polished hewn stones to the spiritual building, but the mortar, with all that holds and binds these together, and constitutes them into a house, is Saxon throughout. As proof positive of the soundness of the above affirmation, the test is submitted that—“you can write a sentence without Latin, but you cannot without Saxon.” The words of the Lord’s Prayer are almost all Saxon. Our good old family Bible is a capital standard of it, and has done more than any other book for the conservation of the purity of our language. Our best writers, particularly those of Queen Anne’s time,—Addison, Steele, Swift, &c.,—were distinguished by their use of simple Saxon.
Trench argues that the Anglo-Saxon is not just one component of the English language but its foundation—the core. All its connections, its entire articulation, its sinews and ligaments, the main body of articles, pronouns, conjunctions, prepositions, numerals, and auxiliary verbs, all the smaller words that tie and bind the larger ones into sentences—these, not to mention the grammatical structure of the language, are solely Saxon. Latin may add some impressive bricks and finely crafted stones to the spiritual structure, but the mortar that holds everything together and forms it into a cohesive whole is entirely Saxon. As clear evidence of this assertion, consider that—“you can write a sentence without Latin, but you cannot without Saxon.” The words of the Lord’s Prayer are almost entirely Saxon. Our beloved family Bible serves as a perfect standard for this, having done more than any other book to preserve the purity of our language. Our finest writers, especially those from Queen Anne’s era—like Addison, Steele, Swift, etc.—were notable for their use of simple Saxon.
SOURCES OF THE LANGUAGE.
Some years ago, a gentleman, after carefully examining the folio edition of Johnson’s Dictionary, formed the following table of English words derived from other languages:—
Some years ago, a man, after closely looking over the folio edition of Johnson’s Dictionary, created this table of English words that come from other languages:—
184 | |
Latin | 6,732 |
French | 4,812 |
Saxon | 1,665 |
Greek | 1,148 |
Dutch | 691 |
Italian | 211 |
German | 116 |
Welsh | 95 |
Danish | 75 |
Spanish | 56 |
Icelandic | 50 |
Swedish | 34 |
Gothic | 31 |
Hebrew | 16 |
Teutonic | 15 |
Arabic | 13 |
Irish | 6 |
Runic | 4 |
Flemish | 4 |
Erse | 4 |
Syriac | 3 |
Scottish | 3 |
Irish and Erse | 2 |
Turkish | 2 |
Irish and Scottish | 1 |
Portuguese | 1 |
Persian | 1 |
Frisi | 1 |
Persic | 1 |
Uncertain | 1 |
Total | 15,784 |
NOUNS OF MULTITUDE.
A foreigner looking at a picture of a number of vessels, said, “See what a flock of ships.” He was told that a flock of ships was called a fleet, and that a fleet of sheep was called a flock. And it was added, for his guidance, in mastering the intricacies of our language, that a flock of girls is called a bevy, that a bevy of wolves is called a pack, and a pack of thieves is called a gang, and that a gang of angels is called a host, and that a host of porpoises is called a shoal, and a shoal of buffaloes is called a herd, and a herd of children is called a troop, and a troop of partridges is called a covey, and a covey of beauties is called a galaxy, and a galaxy of ruffians is called a horde, and a horde of rubbish is called a heap, and a heap of oxen is called a drove, and a drove of blackguards is called a mob, and a mob of whales is called a school, and a school of worshippers is called a congregation, and a congregation of engineers is called a corps, and a corps of robbers is called a band, and a band of locusts is called a swarm, and a swarm of people is called a crowd.
A foreigner looking at a picture of several ships said, “Look at that group of ships.” He was told that a group of ships is called a fleet, and a group of sheep is called a flock. It was also explained to help him understand the complexities of our language that a group of girls is called a bevy, a bevy of wolves is called a pack, a pack of thieves is called a gang, a gang of angels is called a host, a host of porpoises is called a shoal, a shoal of buffaloes is called a herd, a herd of children is called a troop, a troop of partridges is called a covey, a covey of beauties is called a galaxy, a galaxy of ruffians is called a horde, a horde of rubbish is called a heap, a heap of oxen is called a drove, a drove of blackguards is called a mob, a mob of whales is called a school, a school of worshippers is called a congregation, a congregation of engineers is called a corps, a corps of robbers is called a band, a band of locusts is called a swarm, and a swarm of people is called a crowd.
DISRAELIAN ENGLISH.
Mr. Disraeli gives us some queer English in his novel of Lothair, as may be seen in the following examples:—“He guarded over Lothair’s vast inheritance;” “Lothair observed on” a lady’s singing; “of simple but distinguished mien, with a countenance naturally pale, though somewhat bronzed by a life of air and exercise, and a profusion of dark, auburn hair;” “he 185engaged a vehicle and ordered to be driven to Leicester Square;” “he pointed to an individual seated in the centre of the table;” “their mutual ancestors;” “Is there anything in the Tenebræ why I ought not to be present?”; “thoughts which made him unconscious how long had elapsed;” “with no companions than the wounded near them;” “The surgeon was sitting by her side, occasionally wiping the slight foam from her brow.” We have heard of people foaming at the mouth, but never before of a lady foaming at the brow.
Mr. Disraeli gives us some strange English in his novel Lothair, as seen in the following examples:—“He looked after Lothair’s vast inheritance;” “Lothair commented on” a woman’s singing; “of simple but distinguished presence, with a naturally pale face, somewhat tanned from a life of fresh air and exercise, and a lot of dark, auburn hair;” “he hired a vehicle and ordered to be taken to Leicester Square;” “he pointed to a person sitting at the center of the table;” “their shared ancestors;” “Is there anything in the Shadows that would prevent me from being here?”; “thoughts that made him unaware of how much time had passed;” “with no companions other than the wounded nearby;” “The surgeon was sitting by her side, occasionally wiping the light foam from her forehead.” We’ve heard of people foaming at the mouth, but never before of a woman foaming at the forehead.
“YE” FOR “THE.”
Ye is sometimes used for the in old books wherein the is the more usual form, on account of the difficulties experienced by the printers in “spacing out.” When pressed for room they put ye; when they had plenty of room they put the. Many people in reading old books pronounce the abbreviation ye. But the proper pronunciation is the, for the y is only a corruption of the old thorn-letter, or symbol for th.
Ye is sometimes used in old books as a substitute for the, which is the more common form. This was due to the challenges printers faced with “spacing out” text. When they were short on space, they used ye; when they had enough room, they used the. Many people who read old books pronounce the abbreviation ye, but the correct pronunciation is the, as the y is just a corrupted version of the old thorn-letter, or symbol for th.
ITS.
His is the genitive (or as we say, possessive) of he, (he’s,—his,) and it or hit, as it was long written, is the neuter of he, the final t being the sign of the neuter. The introduction of its, as the neuter genitive instead of his, arose from a misconception, similar to that which would have arisen had the Romans introduced illudius as the neuter genitive of ille, instead of illius. Its very rarely occurs in our authorized version of the Bible, his or her being used instead—occurs but a few times in all Shakspeare—was unknown to Ben Jonson—was not admitted into his poems by Milton—and did not come into common use until sanctioned by Dryden.
His is the possessive form of he, (he’s,—his,) and it or hit, as it was long written, is the neuter form of he, with the final t indicating the neuter. The use of its as the neuter possessive instead of his came from a misunderstanding, similar to what would have happened if the Romans had introduced illudius as the neuter possessive of ille, instead of illius. Its rarely appears in our authorized version of the Bible, with his or her being used instead—it occurs only a few times in all of Shakespeare’s works—was unknown to Ben Jonson—was not included in Milton’s poems—and did not become common until it was accepted by Dryden.
THAT.
The use of the word That in the following examples is strictly in accordance with grammatical rules:—
The use of the word That in the following examples follows grammatical rules:—
186The gentleman said, in speaking of the word that, that that that that that lady parsed, was not that that that that gentleman requested her to analyze.
186The man said that when talking about the word that, that that that that that lady broke down wasn’t that that that that man asked her to examine.
I SAY.
A gentleman who was in the habit of interlarding his discourse with the expression “I say,” having been informed by a friend that a certain individual had made some ill-natured remarks upon this peculiarity, took the opportunity of addressing him in the following amusing style of rebuke:—“I say, sir, I hear say you say I say ‘I say’ at every word I say. Now, sir, although I know I say ‘I say’ at every word I say, still I say, sir, it is not for you to say I say ‘I say’ at every word I say.”
A guy who often mixed the phrase “I say” into his conversations found out from a friend that someone had made some unkind comments about this habit. He decided to confront the person in a playful way: “I say, sir, I hear you say I say ‘I say’ with every word I say. Now, sir, even though I know I say ‘I say’ with every word I say, I still say, sir, it’s not for you to say I say ‘I say’ with every word I say.”
PATH-OLOGY.
There once resided in Ayrshire a man who, like Leman, proposed to write an Etymological Dictionary of the English language. Being asked what he understood the word pathology to mean, he answered, with great readiness and confidence, “Why, the art of road-making, to be sure.”
There once lived in Ayrshire a man who, like Leman, planned to write an Etymological Dictionary of the English language. When asked what he thought the word pathology meant, he answered, with great ease and confidence, “Well, it’s the art of road-making, of course.”
THE PRONUNCIATION OF OUGH.
The difficulty of applying rules to the pronunciation of our language may be illustrated in two lines, where the combination of the letters ough is pronounced in no less than seven different ways, viz.: as o, uff, off, up, ow, oo, and ock:—
The challenge of using rules to pronounce our language can be seen in two lines, where the combination of the letters ough is pronounced in at least seven different ways: o, uff, off, up, ow, oo, and ock:—
187The following attempts to show the sound of ough, final, are ingenious:—
187The following tries to demonstrate the sound of ough, at the end of words, are clever:—
The following jeu d’esprit, entitled “A Literary Squabble on the pronunciation of Monckton Milnes’s Title,” is stated to have been the production of Lord Palmerston:—
The following witty remark, titled “A Literary Squabble on the pronunciation of Monckton Milnes’s Title,” is said to have been created by Lord Palmerston:—
EXCISE.
The following curious document gives the opinion of Lord Mansfield, when Attorney-General, upon Dr. Johnson’s definition of the word Excise:—
The following interesting document presents Lord Mansfield's opinion, while he was Attorney-General, on Dr. Johnson's definition of the word Excise:—
Mr. Samuel Johnson has lately published a book, entitled A Dictionary of the English Language, in which the words are deduced from their originals, and illustrated in their different significations by examples from the best writers. To which are prefixed a history of the Language, and an English grammar.
Mr. Samuel Johnson has recently released a book titled A Dictionary of the English Language, where the words are traced back to their origins and explained through examples from top authors. It also includes a history of the language and an English grammar section.
Under the title “Excise” are the following words:—
Under the title “Excise” are these words:—
EXCISE.
The author’s definition being observed by the Commissioners of Excise, they desire the favor of your opinion:
The author's definition is being reviewed by the Excise Commissioners, and they would appreciate your opinion:
Qu.—Whether it will not be considered as a libel; and, if so, whether it is not proper to proceed against the author, printers, and publishers thereof, or any and which of them, by information or how otherwise?
Qu.—Will it be seen as a libel? And if so, is it appropriate to take action against the author, printers, and publishers, or any of them, through legal proceedings or in another way?
Opinion.
I am of opinion that it is a libel; but, under all the circumstances, I should think it better to give him an opportunity of altering his definition; and, in case he don’t, threaten him with an information.
I believe it's a false statement; however, considering everything, I think it would be better to give him a chance to change his definition. If he doesn't, we can threaten him with legal action.
PONTIFF.
Mr. Longfellow, in his Golden Legend, thus refers to the derivation of this word from pons (a bridge) and facere (to make):—
Mr. Longfellow, in his Golden Legend, mentions the origin of this word comes from pons (a bridge) and facere (to make):—
ROUGH.
Mr. Motley, in his History of the United Netherlands, IV. 138, thus ascribes the use of this word to Queen Elizabeth, of England, in her last illness:—
Mr. Motley, in his History of the United Netherlands, IV. 138, attributes the use of this word to Queen Elizabeth of England during her final illness:—
191The great queen, moody, despairing, dying, wrapt in profoundest thought, with eyes fixed upon the ground or already gazing into infinity was besought by the counsellors around her to name the man to whom she chose that the crown should devolve.
191The great queen, troubled, despairing, and fading, lost in deep thought, with her eyes focused on the ground or already looking into the distance, was urged by the advisors around her to name the person to whom she wanted the crown to pass.
“Not to a Rough,” said Elizabeth, sententiously and grimly.
“Not to a Rough,” Elizabeth said sternly and with a serious expression.
These particulars are apparently given on the authority of the Italian Secretary, Scaramelli, whose language is quoted in a foot-note, and who says that the word Rough “in lingua inglese significa persona bassa e vile.”
These details are apparently provided on the authority of the Italian Secretary, Scaramelli, whose words are quoted in a footnote, and he says that the word Rough “In English, it means a short and cowardly person..”
Charles Dickens said, “I entertain so strong an objection to the euphonious softening of ruffian into rough, which has lately become popular, that I restore the right word to the heading of this paper.” (The Ruffian, by the Uncommercial Traveler, All the Year Round.) “Lately popular” does not mean popular for two hundred and eighty years past. A word that has escaped the notice of the Glossarists cannot have been in use early in the seventeenth century. That it should have been used in its modern sense by Queen Elizabeth, passes all bounds of belief. With all her faults she did not make silly unmeaning remarks; and it would have been extremely silly in her to say she did not wish a low ruffian to succeed her on the throne. If she uttered a word having the same sound, it might possibly have been ruff. The “ruff,” though worn by men of the upper class, was in Queen Elizabeth’s time an especially female article of dress, and the queen might have said, “I will have no ruff to succeed me,” just as now-a-days one might say, “I will have no petticoat government.” We want better authority than that of Scaramelli before we can believe that Elizabeth used either the word rough or ruff, when consulted as to her wishes respecting her successor.
Charles Dickens said, “I have such a strong objection to the smooth softening of ruffian to rough, which has recently become popular, that I prefer to use the correct word in the title of this paper.” (The Ruffian, by the Uncommercial Traveler, All the Year Round.) “Recently popular” doesn’t mean popular for the last two hundred and eighty years. A word that has escaped the attention of scholars couldn’t have been in use in the early seventeenth century. The idea that Queen Elizabeth used it in its modern sense is hard to believe. Despite her flaws, she didn’t make foolish or meaningless remarks; it would have been very silly for her to say she didn’t want a low ruffian to succeed her on the throne. If she said a word that sounded similar, it might have been ruff. The “ruff,” although worn by upper-class men, was primarily a female fashion item in Queen Elizabeth’s time, and the queen might have said, “I don’t want any ruff to succeed me,” just as today someone might say, “I don’t want any petticoat government.” We need stronger evidence than Scaramelli’s word before we can believe that Elizabeth used either the word rough or ruff when asked about her wishes regarding her successor.
NOT AMERICANISMS.
In Bartlett’s Dictionary the term “stocking-feet” is given as an Americanism. But the following quotation from Thackeray’s Newcomes (vol. i. ch. viii.) shows that this is an error:—
In Bartlett’s Dictionary, the term “stocking-feet” is labeled as an Americanism. However, the quote from Thackeray’s Newcomes (vol. i. ch. viii.) demonstrates that this is a mistake:—
192“Binnie found the Colonel in his sitting-room arrayed in what are called in Scotland his stocking-feet.”
192“Binnie found the Colonel in his sitting room, dressed in what are known in Scotland as his stocking feet.”
Professor Tyndall, at the farewell banquet given in his honor by the citizens of New York, prior to his departure, in referring to his successful lecture-course in the United States, said he had had—to quote his words—“what you Americans call ‘a good time.’”
Professor Tyndall, at the farewell banquet held in his honor by the citizens of New York before his departure, mentioned his successful lecture series in the United States, saying he had—using his own words—“what you Americans call ‘a good time.’”
But this expression is not an Americanism. It is used by Dean Swift in his letter to Stella, (Feb. 24, 1710–11); “I hope Mrs. Wells had a good time.”
But this expression isn't an Americanism. It appears in a letter from Dean Swift to Stella, dated February 24, 1710–11: “I hope Mrs. Wells had a good time.”
That not very elegant adjective bully, though found in Bartlett, and used by Washington Irving cannot be claimed as an Americanism. Friar Tuck sings, in Scott’s Ivanhoe:—
That not very elegant adjective bully, though found in Bartlett and used by Washington Irving, can't be claimed as an Americanism. Friar Tuck sings in Scott’s Ivanhoe:—
But to go further back, we find it in the burden of an old three-part song, “We be three poor Mariners,” in Ravenscroft’s Deuteromelia, 1609:
But to go further back, we find it in the weight of an old three-part song, “We be three poor Mariners,” in Ravenscroft’s Deuteromelia, 1609:
One of the words which the English used to class among Americanisms—ignorant that it was older and better English than their own usage—was Fall, used as the name of the third of the seasons. The English, corrupted by the Johnsonese of the Hanoverian reigns, call it by the Latinism, Autumn. But the other term, in general use on this side of the Atlantic, is the word by which all the old writers of the language know it. “The hole yere,” says scholarly Roger Ascham in his Toxophilus, “is divided into iiii. partes, Spring tyme, Sommer, Faule of the leafe, & Winter, whereof the hole winter for the roughnesse of it, is cleane taken away from shoting: except it be one day amonges xx., or one yeare amonges xi.”
One of the words that the English used to label as Americanisms—unaware that it was actually older and better English than their own usage—was Fall, which refers to the third season. The English, influenced by the Johnsonian style of the Hanoverian period, refer to it using the Latin term, Autumn. However, the other term, commonly used on this side of the Atlantic, is the one that all the old writers of the language recognized. “The whole year,” says the scholarly Roger Ascham in his Toxophilus, “is divided into four parts: Spring, Summer, Fall of the leaf, and Winter, where the entire winter, due to its harshness, is completely taken away from shooting, except for one day in twenty, or one year in eleven.”
193This statement, by the way, that exceptionally mild winters were in the ratio of one to eleven, is worth noting with reference to the recent announcement of science that the spots on the sun have an eleven-year period of maximum frequency.
193This statement, by the way, that exceptionally mild winters occurred once for every eleven years, is interesting in light of the recent scientific announcement that sunspots follow an eleven-year cycle of maximum frequency.
NO LOVE LOST BETWEEN THEM.
In the ordinary acceptation of the words, “No love was lost between the two,” we are led to infer that the two were on very unfriendly terms. But in the ballad of The Babes in the Wood, as given in Percy’s Reliques, occur the following lines, which convey the contrary idea:—
In the usual sense of the words, “No love was lost between the two,” we think that the two didn’t get along at all. But in the ballad of The Babes in the Wood, as found in Percy’s Reliques, there are lines that suggest the opposite idea:—
THE FORLORN HOPE.
Military and civil writers of the present day seem quite ignorant of the true meaning of the words forlorn hope. The adjective has nothing to do with despair, nor the substantive with the “charmer which lingers still behind;” there was no such poetical depth in the words as originally used. Every corps marching in an enemy’s country had a small body of men at the head (haupt or hope) of the advanced guard; and which was termed the forlorne hope (lorn being here but a termination similar to ward in forward,) while another small body at the head of the read-guard was called the rere-lorn hope. A reference to Johnson’s Dictionary shows that civilians were misled as early as the time of Dryden by the mere sound of a technical military phrase; and, in process of time, even military men forgot the true meaning of the words. And thus we easily trace the foundation of an error to which we are indebted for Byron’s beautiful line:—
Military and civilian writers today seem to be unaware of the actual meaning of the term forlorn hope. The adjective doesn't relate to despair, nor does the noun connect to the “charmer that still lingers behind;” there wasn’t any poetic depth in the original usage of the words. Every unit moving through enemy territory had a small group of men at the front (main or hope) of the advanced guard, which was called the forlorne hope (lorn here is merely a suffix like ward in forward), while another small group at the front of the rear guard was referred to as the rere-lorn hope. A look at Johnson’s Dictionary indicates that civilians were misled as early as the time of Dryden by the sound of a technical military phrase; and, over time, even military personnel forgot the original meaning of the words. Thus, we can easily trace the origins of a misconception that led to Byron’s beautiful line:—
QUIZ.
This word, which is only in vulgar or colloquial use, and which some of the lexicographers have attempted to trace to learned roots, originated in a joke. Daly, the manager of a Dublin play-house, wagered that a word of no meaning should be the common talk and puzzle of the city in twenty-four hours. In the course of that time the letters q u i z were chalked on all the walls of Dublin with an effect that won the wager.
This word, which is only used in informal or everyday speech, and which some dictionary makers have tried to link to scholarly origins, actually came from a joke. Daly, the manager of a theater in Dublin, bet that a meaningless word would become the talk of the town and confuse everyone within twenty-four hours. During that time, the letters q u i z were written on walls all over Dublin, achieving the desired effect and winning the bet.
TENNYSON’S ENGLISH.
Probably no poet ever more thoroughly comprehended the value of words in metrical composition than Mr. Tennyson, but he has issued a new coinage which is not pure. Compound epithets are modelled after the Greek or revived from the uncritical Elizabethan era. Thus, where we should naturally say “The bee is cradled in the lily,” Mr. Tennyson writes, “The bee is lily-cradled.” When a man’s nose is broken at the bridge or a lady’s turns up at the tip, the one is said to be “a nose bridge-broken,” and the other (with much gallantry) to be “tip-tilted, like the petal of a flower.”
Probably no poet ever understood the value of words in poetry as well as Mr. Tennyson, but he has created a new use of language that isn’t quite right. He uses compound phrases modeled after Greek or taken from the uncritical Elizabethan era. So, instead of naturally saying, “The bee is cradled in the lily,” Mr. Tennyson writes, “The bee is lily-cradled.” When a man’s nose is broken at the bridge or a lady’s nose turns up at the tip, the former is called “a nose bridge-broken,” while the latter (with a lot of gallantry) is referred to as “tip-tilted, like the petal of a flower.”
The movement of the metre again is very peculiar. Discarding Milton’s long and complex periods, Mr. Tennyson has restored blank verse to an apparently simple rhythm. But this simplicity is in fact the result of artifice, and, under every variety of movement, the ear detects the recurrence of a set type. One of the poet’s favorite devices is to pause on a monosyllable at the beginning of a line, and this affect is repeated so often as to remind the reader of Euripides and his unhappy “oil flask” in The Frogs. Take the following instances:—
The movement of the meter is quite unique. Unlike Milton’s lengthy and complex sentences, Mr. Tennyson has brought blank verse back to what seems like a straightforward rhythm. However, this simplicity is actually the result of craft, and beneath all the different rhythms, the ear picks up on the repetition of a specific pattern. One of the poet’s favorite techniques is to pause on a one-syllable word at the start of a line, and this effect comes up so often that it reminds the reader of Euripides and his unfortunate “oil flask” in The Frogs. Here are some examples:—
“THAT MINE ADVERSARY HAD WRITTEN A BOOK.”
This passage from Job xxxi. 35, is frequently misapplied, being interpreted as if it had reference to a book or writing as commonly understood. It means rather, according to Gesenius, a charge or accusation. Pierius makes it “libellum accusationis,” and Grotius, “scriptam accusationem” Scott expresses this in his Commentary:—
This passage from Job xxxi. 35 is often misapplied, being interpreted as if it referred to a book or writing in the usual sense. According to Gesenius, it actually means a charge or accusation. Pierius translates it as “complaint document,” and Grotius says “scribe accusation.” Scott expresses this in his Commentary:—
“Job challenged his adversary, or accuser, to produce a libel or written indictment against him: he was confident that it would prove no disgrace to him, but an honor; as every article would be disproved, and the reverse be manifested.”
“Job challenged his opponent, or accuser, to show any written accusation against him: he was sure it would bring him no shame, but rather honor; as every claim would be disproved, and the truth would be revealed.”
Other commentators understand it as meaning a record of Job’s life, or of his sufferings. Coverdale translates:—“And let him that my contrary party sue me with a lybell.” In the Genevan version it is, “Though mine adversarie should write a book against me.” In the Bishop’s Bible, 1595, “Though mine adversarie write a book against me.” The meaning seems to have become obscured in our version by retaining the English book instead of the Latin libel, but omitting the words in italics, “against me.”
Other commentators see it as a record of Job’s life or his suffering. Coverdale translates it as: “And let him that my opposing party sue me with a libel.” In the Genevan version, it says, “Though my adversary should write a book against me.” In the Bishop’s Bible from 1595, it states, “Though my adversary write a book against me.” The meaning appears to have become unclear in our version by keeping the English word book instead of the Latin libel, while also omitting the italicized phrase “against me.”
ECCENTRIC ETYMOLOGIES.
To trace the changes of form and meaning which many of the words of our language have undergone is no easy task. There are words as current with us as with our forefathers, the significance of which, as we use them, is very different from that of their primitive use. And, in many instances, they have wandered, by courses more or less tortuous, so far from their original meaning as to make it almost impossible to follow the track of divergence. Hence, it is easy to understand why it has been said that the etymologist, to be successful, must have “an instinct like the special capabilities of the pointer.” But there are derivations which are only revealed by accident, or stumbled upon in unexpected ways, and which, in the regular 196course of patient search, would never have been elicited. The following illustrative selections will interest the general reader.
Tracing the changes in form and meaning that many words in our language have gone through is not an easy task. There are words that are just as common now as they were for our ancestors, but the meanings we give them today are very different from their original use. In many cases, they have strayed so far from their initial meaning, often through complicated pathways, that it's nearly impossible to track how they evolved. That's why it's easy to see why it's been said that an etymologist, to be successful, must have “an instinct like the special capabilities of the pointer.” However, some derivations are only discovered by chance or found in unexpected ways, and would never come to light through regular, methodical searching. The following illustrative selections will capture the interest of the general reader.
Bombastic.—This adjective has an odd derivation. Originally bombast (from the Latin bombax, cotton) meant nothing but cotton wadding, used for filling or stuffing. Shakspeare employs it in this sense in Love’s Labor Lost, v. 2.
Bombastic.—This adjective has a strange origin. Originally, bombast (from the Latin bombax, meaning cotton) referred only to cotton wadding, which was used for filling or stuffing. Shakespeare uses it in this way in Love’s Labor Lost, v. 2.
Decker, in his Satyromastix, says, “You shall swear not to bombast out a new play with the old linings of jests.” And Guazzo, Civile Conversation, 1591,—“Studie should rather make him leane and thinne, and pull out the bombast of his corpulent doublet.”
Decker, in his Satyromastix, says, “You should promise not to hype up a new play with the same old jokes.” And Guazzo, Civile Conversation, 1591,—“Study should instead make him lean and thin, and strip away the fluff from his heavy coat.”
Hence, by easy transition from the falseness of padding or puffing out a figure, bombast came to signify swelling pretentiousness of speech and conduct as an adapted meaning; and gradually this became the primary and only sense.
Hence, by easily shifting from the falsehood of exaggerating or inflating an image, "bombast" came to mean an inflated sense of pretentiousness in speech and behavior as its adapted meaning; and over time, this became its main and only definition.
Buxom.—This word is simply bow-some or bough-some, i.e., that which readily bows, or bends, or yields like the boughs of a tree. No longer ago than when Milton wrote boughsome, which as gh in English began to lose its guttural sound,—that of the letter chi in Greek,—came to be written buxom, meant simply yielding, and was of general application.
Buxom.—This word is simply bow-some or bough-some, i.e. that which easily bows, bends, or yields like the branches of a tree. Not long ago, when Milton wrote boughsome, which as gh in English started to lose its guttural sound—the one like the letter chi in Greek—it became written as buxom, meaning simply yielding and was widely used.
But aided, doubtless, as Dr. Johnson suggests, by a too liberal construction of the bride’s promise in the old English marriage ceremony, to be “obedient and buxom in bed and board,” it came to be applied to women who were erroneously thought likely to be thus yielding; and hence it now means plump, rosy, alluring, and is applied only to women who combine those qualities of figure, face and expression.
But helped, no doubt, as Dr. Johnson suggests, by a too generous interpretation of the bride’s promise in the old English marriage ceremony to be “obedient and pleasing in bed and board,” it came to refer to women who were mistakenly thought to be submissive; and because of that, it now means plump, rosy, attractive, and is used only for women who have those qualities of body, face, and expression.
197Cadaver.—An abbot of Cirencester, about 1216, conceived himself an etymologist, and, as a specimen of his powers, has left us the Latin word cadaver, a corpse, thus dissected:—“Ca,” quoth he, is abbreviated for caro; “da” for data; “ver” for vermibus. Hence we have “caro data vermibus,” flesh given to the worms.
197Cadaver.—An abbot from Cirencester, around 1216, thought of himself as an etymologist and left behind an example of his skills by breaking down the Latin word cadaver, meaning a corpse: “Ca,” he claimed, is short for caro; “da” for data; “ver” for vermibus. Therefore, we have “caro data vermibus,” which means flesh given to the worms.
Yet while the reader smiles at this curious absurdity, it is worth while to note that the word alms is constructed upon a similar principle, being formed (according to the best authority) of letters, taken from successive syllables of the cumbrous Latinized Greek word eleemosyna.
Yet while the reader smiles at this strange absurdity, it's worth noting that the word alms is based on a similar principle, being formed (according to the best sources) from letters taken from successive syllables of the cumbersome Latinized Greek word charity.
Canard.—This is the French for duck, and the origin of its application to hoaxing is said to be as follows:—To ridicule a growing extravagance in story-telling a clever journalist stated that an interesting experiment had just been made, calculated to prove the extraordinary voracity of ducks. Twenty of these animals had been placed together, and one of them having been killed and cut up into the smallest possible pieces, feathers and all, and thrown to the other nineteen, had been gluttonously gobbled up in an exceedingly brief space of time. Another was taken from the remaining nineteen, and being chopped small like its predecessor, was served up to the eighteen, and at once devoured like the other; and so on to the last, which was thus placed in the remarkable position of having eaten his nineteen companions in a wonderfully short space of time! All this, most pleasantly narrated, obtained a success which the writer was far from anticipating, for the story ran the rounds of all the journals in Europe. It then became almost forgotten for about a score of years, when it came back from America, with an amplification which it did not boast of at the commencement, and with a regular certificate of the autopsy of the body of the surviving animal, whose esophagus was declared to have been seriously injured! Since then fabrications of this character have been called canards.
Fake news.—This is the French word for duck, and the reason it refers to a hoax is said to be as follows: A clever journalist, to poke fun at the increasing absurdity in storytelling, claimed that an interesting experiment had just been conducted to prove how extraordinarily greedy ducks are. Twenty of these animals were gathered together, and one of them was killed, chopped into the smallest possible pieces, feathers and all, and thrown to the other nineteen, who gobbled it up in no time at all. Another was taken from the remaining nineteen and, cut up like its predecessor, was fed to the eighteen, who consumed it just as quickly; this continued until the last duck was left, having devoured all of its nineteen companions in an impressively short amount of time! The story was told in a very entertaining way and gained success that the writer did not expect, as it circulated through all the journals in Europe. It was mostly forgotten for about twenty years until it resurfaced in America, now with embellishments it didn't have at first, along with a supposed autopsy report of the surviving duck, claiming that its esophagus had been severely damaged! Since then, fabrications of this kind have been called fake news.
198Chum.—A schoolboy’s letter, written two centuries ago, has lately revealed that chum is a contraction from “chamber-fellow.” Two students dwelling together found the word unwieldly, and, led by another universal law of language, they shortened it in the most obvious way.
198Chum.—A schoolboy's letter from two centuries ago recently uncovered that "chum" is short for "chamber-fellow." Two students living together thought the original term was too long and, following a common trend in language, decided to shorten it in the simplest way.
Dandy.—Bishop Fleetwood says that “dandy” is derived from a silver coin of small value, circulated in the reign of Henry VIII., and called a “dandy-prat.”
Dandy.—Bishop Fleetwood says that “dandy” comes from a small silver coin that was in circulation during the reign of Henry VIII, known as a “dandy-prat.”
Dunce.—This word comes to us from the celebrated Duns Scotus, chief of the Schoolmen of his time. He was “the subtle doctor by preëminence;” and it certainly is a strange perversion that a scholar of his great ability should give name to a class who hate all scholarship. When at the Reformation and revival of learning the works of the Schoolmen fell into extreme disfavor with the Reformers and the votaries of the new learning, Duns, the standard-bearer of the former, was so often referred to with scorn and contempt by the latter that his name gradually became the by-word it now is for hopeless ignorance and invincible stupidity. The errors and follies of a set were fastened upon their distinguished head. Says Tyndale, 1575,—
Dunce.—This word comes from the famous Duns Scotus, the leading figure among the Schoolmen of his time. He was known as “the subtle doctor by preeminence,” and it’s certainly ironic that a scholar of his immense talent would become associated with a group that despises scholarship. During the Reformation and the revival of learning, the works of the Schoolmen fell out of favor with the Reformers and supporters of the new learning. Duns, being the representative of the former, was often referred to with disdain by the latter, and over time, his name became synonymous with utter ignorance and stubborn stupidity. The mistakes and foolishness of a group were attributed to their renowned leader. Tyndale says, 1575,—
“Remember ye not how within this thirty years, and far less, and yet dureth unto this day, the old barking curs, Dunce’s disciples, and like draff called Scotists, the children of darkness, raged in every pulpit against Greek, Latin and Hebrew?”
“Don’t you remember how in these past thirty years, and even less, and still continuing to this day, the old barking dogs, the followers of Dunce, and those like the lowlifes called Scotists, the children of darkness, have raged in every pulpit against Greek, Latin, and Hebrew?”
Eating humble-pie.—The phrase “eating humble-pie” is traced to the obsolete French word “ombles,” entrails; pies for the household servants being formerly made of the entrails of animals. Hence, to take low or humble ground, to submit one’s self, came familiarly to be called eating “humble” or rather “umble” pie. The word “umbles” came to us from the Norman conquest, and though now obsolete, retains its place in 199the lexicons of Worcester and Webster, who, however, explain the entrails to be those of the deer only.
Eating humble-pie.—The phrase “eating humble-pie” comes from the old French word “ombles,” which means entrails; pies for servants were once made from animal entrails. Therefore, to take a low or humble stance, to submit oneself, became commonly known as eating “humble” or more accurately “umble” pie. The term “umbles” originated from the Norman conquest, and although it’s now outdated, it still appears in dictionaries like those of Worcester and Webster, who, however, only define the entrails as those of deer.
Fiasco.—A German, one day, seeing a glassblower at his occupation, thought nothing could be easier than glassblowing, and that he could soon learn to blow as well as the workman. He accordingly commenced operations by blowing vigorously, but could only produce a sort of pear-shaped balloon or little flask (fiasco). The second attempt had a similar result, and so on, until fiasco after fiasco had been made. Hence arose the expression which we not infrequently have occasion to use when describing the result of our undertakings.
Disaster.—One day, a German man saw a glassblower at work and thought glassblowing looked easy. He figured he could learn to blow glass just as well as the craftsman. So, he started trying to blow glass himself, but ended up creating only a pear-shaped balloon or small flask (mess). His second attempt turned out the same way, and this continued, resulting in a series of disaster after fail. This led to the expression we often use to talk about the outcomes of our endeavors.
Fudge.—This is a curious word, having a positive personality underlying it. Such at least it is, if Disraeli’s account thereof be authentic. He quotes from a very old pamphlet entitled Remarks upon the Navy, wherein the author says, “There was in our time one Captain Fudge, commander of a merchantman, who upon his return from a voyage, how ill fraught soever his ship was, always brought home his owners a good crop of lies; so much that now, aboard ship, the sailors when they hear a great lie told, cry out, ‘You fudge it’.” The ship was the Black Eagle, and the time, Charles II.; and thence the monosyllabic name of its untruthful captain comes to us for exclamation when we have reason to believe assertions ill-founded.
Fudge.—This is an interesting word, with a positive vibe behind it. At least that’s what Disraeli suggests if his account is accurate. He cites an old pamphlet called Remarks upon the Navy, in which the author writes, “In our time, there was a Captain Fudge, a merchant ship captain, who no matter how poorly loaded his ship was upon returning from a voyage, always brought back a good harvest of lies for his owners; so much so that now, when sailors on a ship hear a big lie, they shout, ‘You fudge it’.” The ship was the Black Eagle, and the era was during Charles II.; thus, we use the short name of its dishonest captain as an exclamation when we suspect claims are unfounded.
Gossip.—This is another of that class of words which by the system of moral decadence that Trench has so ably illustrated as influencing human language, has come to be a term of unpleasant reproach. In some parts of the country, by the “gossips” of a child are meant his god-parents, who take vows for him at his baptism. The connection between these two actual uses of the word is not so far to seek as one might suppose. Chaucer shows us that those who stood sponsors for an infant were considered “sib,” or kin, to each other in God: thus the double syllables were compounded. Verstigan says:—
Gossip.—This is another word that, due to the moral decline illustrated so well by Trench as affecting human language, has become associated with an unpleasant negative connotation. In some areas, the term “gossips” refers to a child's godparents, who make vows for him during baptism. The link between these two meanings of the word isn’t as distant as one might think. Chaucer shows us that those who acted as sponsors for a child were seen as “sib,” or kin, to one another in God: hence the combination of the two syllables. Verstigan says:—
200“Our Christian ancestors understanding a spirituall affinitie for to grow between the parents, and such as undertooke for the childe at baptisme, called each other by the name of God-sib, which is as much as to say as that they were sib together, i.e. of kin together, through God.”
200 “Our Christian ancestors recognized a spiritual bond that grew between the parents and those who stood in for the child at baptism, and they referred to each other as God-sib, meaning that they were sib together, or connected as family, through God.”
The Roman church forbids marriage between persons so united in a common vow, as she believes they have contracted an essential spiritual relationship. But from their affinity in the interests of the child they were brought into much converse with one another; and as much talk almost always degenerates into idle talk, and personalities concerning one’s neighbors, and the like, so “gossips” finally came to signify the latter, when the former use of it was nearly forgotten. It is remarkable that the French “commérage” has passed through identically the same perversion.
The Roman church prohibits marriage between individuals who share a common vow, as it believes they have formed a significant spiritual bond. However, because of their shared interest in the child, they ended up spending a lot of time together; and since most conversations eventually slip into frivolous discussions and gossip about others, the term “gossips” eventually came to mean the latter, while its original meaning faded into obscurity. It's interesting to note that the French word “gossip” has undergone the exact same transformation.
Grog.—Admiral Vernon, whose ardent devotion to his profession had endeared him to the British naval service, was in the habit of walking the deck, in bad weather, in a rough grogram cloak, and thence had obtained the nickname of Old Grog. Whilst in command of the West India station, and at the height of his popularity on account of his reduction of Porto Bello with six men-of-war only, he introduced the use of rum and water among the ship’s company. When served out, the new beverage proved most palatable, and speedily grew into such favor that it became as popular as the brave admiral himself, and in honor of him was surnamed by acclamation “Grog.”
Grog.—Admiral Vernon, whose passionate dedication to his career had earned him the affection of the British navy, often walked the deck in bad weather wearing a rough grogram cloak, which is how he got the nickname Old Grog. While in charge of the West India station, and at the peak of his popularity after successfully capturing Porto Bello with just six warships, he introduced a mix of rum and water to the crew. When it was served, this new drink quickly became very popular and was so well-liked that it was named “Grog” in his honor.
Hocus-pocus.—According to Tillotson, this singular expression is believed to be a corruption of the transubstantiating formula, Hoc est corpus meum, used by the priest on the elevation of the host. Turner, in his history of the Anglo-Saxons, traces it to Ochus Bochus, a magician and demon of the northern mythology. We should certainly prefer the latter as the source of this conjurer’s catch-word, which the usage of 201ordinary life connects with jugglery or unfair dealing, but preponderant evidence is in favor of the former.
Hocus-pocus.—According to Tillotson, this unique phrase is thought to be a distorted version of the transubstantiation formula, This is my body, spoken by the priest during the elevation of the host. Turner, in his history of the Anglo-Saxons, traces it back to Ochus Bochus, a magician and demon from northern mythology. We would definitely prefer the latter as the origin of this magician’s catchphrase, which everyday use links to tricks or dishonest practices, but the majority of evidence supports the former.
Malingerer.—This word, brought much into use by the exigencies of our civil war, is from the French “malin gré,” and signifies a soldier who from “evil will” shirks his duty by feigning sickness, or otherwise rendering himself incapable: in plain words, a poltroon.
Malingerer.—This term, widely used during our civil war, comes from the French “malin gray,” and refers to a soldier who, out of “bad intention,” avoids his responsibilities by pretending to be sick or making himself unfit for duty: in simple terms, a coward.
Mustard.—Etymologists have fought vigorously over the derivation of this word. “Multum ardet,” says one, or in old French, “moult arde,” it burns much. “Mustum ardens, hot must,” says another, referring to the former custom of preparing French mustard for the table with the sweet must of new wine. A picturesque story about the name is thus told:—Philip the Bold, Duke of Burgundy, granted to Dijon certain armorial bearings, with the motto “Moult me tarde”—I long or wish ardently. This was sculptured over the principal gate. In the course of years, by some accident, the central word was effaced. The manufacturers of sinapi or senévé (such were the former names of mustard), wishing to label their pots of condiment with the city arms, copied the mutilated motto; and the unlearned, seeing continually the inscription of “moult-tarde,” fell into the habit of calling the contents by this title.
Mustard.—Etymologists have debated fiercely about the origin of this word. “Multum ardet,” says one, or in old French, “moult arde,” meaning it burns a lot. “Mustum ardens, hot must,” says another, referring to the old practice of making French mustard for the table with the sweet must of new wine. A colorful story about the name goes like this:—Philip the Bold, Duke of Burgundy, granted Dijon certain heraldic symbols, with the motto “Moult me tarde”—I long or wish ardently. This was carved above the main gate. Over time, by some accident, the central word became worn away. The makers of mustard or senévé (the former names for mustard), wanting to label their jars of condiment with the city’s coat of arms, copied the damaged motto; and the uneducated, seeing the inscription “moult-tarde” repeatedly, started to refer to the contents by this name.
Navvy.—Many persons have been puzzled by the application of this word, abbreviated from navigator, to laborers. Why should earth-workers be called navigators? They whose business is with an element antipodean to water, why receive a title as of seafaring men? At the period when inland navigation was the national rage, and canals were considered to involve the essentials of prosperity, as railways are now, the workmen employed on them were called “navigators,” as cutting the way for navigation. And when railways superseded canals, the name of the laborers, withdrawn from one work to the other, was unchanged, and merely contracted, according to the dislike 202of our Anglo-Saxon tongues to use four syllables where a less number will suffice.
Navvy.—Many people have been confused by the use of this word, shortened from navigator, to refer to laborers. Why are earth-workers called navigators? They work with an element completely opposite to water; why do they have a title typically associated with seafarers? When inland navigation was extremely popular and canals were seen as essential to prosperity—similar to the way railways are viewed today—the workers on those canals were called “navigators” because they were cutting paths for navigation. When railways replaced canals, the label for the laborers who shifted from one type of work to the other remained the same, just shortened because of our Anglo-Saxon preference for fewer syllables when possible.
Neighbor.—Formerly this familiar word was employed to signify “the boor who lives nigh to us.” And just here is another of those words which have been degraded from their original sense; for boor did not then represent a stupid, ignorant lout, but simply a farmer, as in Dutch now.
Neighbor.—Once, this well-known word was used to mean “the farmer who lives nearby.” And this is another example of a word that has lost its original meaning; because boor didn’t then signify a stupid, ignorant lout, but simply referred to a farmer, just like it does in Dutch today.
Poltroon.—In the olden days the Norman-French “poltroon” had a significance obsolete now: days when Strongbow was a noble surname, and the yew-trees of England were of importance as an arm of national defence; then the coward or malingerer had but to cut off the thumb (“pollice truncus” in Latin)—the thumb which drew the bow, and he was unfit for service, and must be discharged.
Coward.—In the past, the Norman-French term “coward” meant something different than it does today: back when Strongbow was a prestigious name, and the yew trees of England played a crucial role in national defense; in those times, if someone was a coward or pretended to be sick, they only had to cut off their thumb (“thumb cut off” in Latin)—the thumb used for pulling back a bow—and they were deemed unfit for service and had to be let go.
Porpoise.—The common creature of the sea, whose gambols have passed into a jest and a proverb, the porpoise, is so named because of his resemblance to a hog when in sportive mood. “Porc-poisson,” said somebody who watched a herd of them tumbling about, for all the world like swine, except for the sharp dorsal fin; and the epithet adhered.
Porpoise.—The familiar sea creature, whose playful antics have become a joke and a saying, is called the porpoise because it looks like a pig when it's having fun. “Porc-poisson,” remarked someone who observed a group of them tumbling around, just like pigs, except for the pointed dorsal fin; and the name stuck.
Scrape.—Long ago roamed through the forests the red and fallow deer, which had a habit of scraping up the earth with their fore-feet to the depth of several inches, sometimes even of half a yard. A wayfaring man through the olden woods was frequently exposed to the danger of tumbling into one of these hollows, when he might truly be said to be “in a scrape.” Cambridge students in their little difficulties picked up and applied the phrase to other perplexing matters which had brought a man morally into a fix.
Scrape.—Long ago, the red and fallow deer roamed through the forests, and they had a habit of scraping up the ground with their front feet, digging several inches deep, sometimes even up to half a yard. A traveler in those ancient woods often faced the danger of falling into one of these hollows, putting him in a situation he could really be called “in a scrape.” Cambridge students, dealing with their own little challenges, adopted the phrase for other tricky situations that had gotten someone into a moral bind.
Sterling.—This word was originally applied to the metal rather than to a coin. The following extract from Camden points out its origin as applied to money:—
Sterling.—This term was first used to refer to the metal instead of a coin. The extract below from Camden highlights its origin in relation to currency:—
203In the time of his sonne King Richard the First, monie coined in the east parts of Germanie began to be of especiall request in England for the puritie thereof, and was called Easterling monie, as all the inhabitants of those parts were called Easterlings, and shortly after some of that countrie, skilful in mint matters and alloies, were sent for into this realme to bring the coins to perfection, which, since that time, was called of them sterling for Easterlings.
203During the reign of his son King Richard the First, coins made in the eastern parts of Germany became highly sought after in England for their purity and were referred to as Easterling money, as everyone from that region was called Easterlings. Shortly after, some skilled individuals from that area, knowledgeable in minting and alloys, were invited to this kingdom to perfect the coins, which from that time on were known as sterling, derived from Easterlings.
Surplice.—That scholastic and ministerial badge, the surplice, is said to derive its name from the Latin “superpelliceum,” because anciently worn over leathern coats made of hides of beasts; with the idea of representing how the sin of our first parents is now covered by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, so that we are entitled to wear the emblem of innocence.
Surplice.—That academic and religious attire, the surplice, is believed to get its name from the Latin “superpelliceum,” because it was originally worn over leather coats made from animal hides; symbolizing how the sin of our first parents is now concealed by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, allowing us to wear the symbol of innocence.
Sycophant.—The original etymology of the word sycophant is curious. The word συχοφαντέω (from σῦχον, a fig, and φαίνω, to show,) in its primary signification, means to inform against or expose those who exported figs from Athens to other places without paying duty, hence it came to signify calumnior, to accuse falsely, to be a tale-bearer, an evil speaker of others. The word sycophanta means, in its first sense, no more than this. We now apply it to any flatterer, or other abject dependant, who, to serve his own purposes, slanders and detracts from others.
Sycophant.—The original origin of the word sycophant is interesting. The word defame (from σῦχον, a fig, and φαίνω, to show) originally means to inform against or expose those who exported figs from Athens to other places without paying duty, which is how it came to mean slander, to falsely accuse, to gossip, or to speak ill of others. The word brown-noser, in its initial sense, means just that. We now use it to refer to any flatterer or other lowly dependent who, to further their own agenda, slanders and undermines others.
Tariff.—Because payment of a fixed scale of duties was demanded by the Moorish occupants of a fortress on Tarifa promontory, which overlooked the entrance to the Mediterranean, all taxes on imports came to be called a tariff.
Tariff.—Since the Moorish occupants of a fortress on the Tarifa promontory, which overlooked the entrance to the Mediterranean, required payment of a fixed scale of duties, all taxes on imports became known as a tariff.
Treacle.—A remarkable curiosity in the way of derivations is one traced by that indefatigable explorer, Archbishop Trench, which connects treacle with vipers. The syrup of molasses with the poison of snakes! Never was an odder relationship; yet it is a case of genuine fatherhood, and embodies a singular superstition. The ancients believed that the best antidote to 204the bite of the viper was a confection of its own flesh. The Greek word θηρταχή, flesh of the viper, was given first to such a sweetmeat, and then to any antidote of poison, and lastly to any syrup; and easily corrupted into our present word. Chaucer has a line—
Treacle.—A fascinating connection in the world of word origins is one uncovered by the tireless researcher, Archbishop Trench, linking treacle to vipers. The syrup made from molasses with the venom of snakes! There has never been a stranger relationship; yet it genuinely represents a case of true lineage and reflects an unusual superstition. The ancients thought that the best remedy for a viper bite was a treat made from the viper's own flesh. The Greek word θηρταχή, meaning flesh of the viper, was initially used for this type of sweet, later extending to any antidote for poison, and eventually to any syrup; it easily evolved into our current word. Chaucer has a line—
Milton speaks of the “sovran treacle of sound doctrine.” A stuff called Venice Treacle was considered antidote to all poisons. “Vipers treacle yield,” says Edmund Waller, in a verse which has puzzled many a modern reader, and yet brings one close to the truth of the etymology, and shows that treacle is only a popular corruption of theriac.
Milton talks about the “sovereign syrup of sound doctrine.” A substance known as Venice Treacle was thought to be a cure for all poisons. “Vipers treacle yield,” says Edmund Waller, in a line that has confused many modern readers, yet it gets near the truth of the etymology and reveals that treacle is just a popular corruption of theriac.
Wig.—This word may be cited as a good example to show how interesting and profitable it is to trace words through their etymological windings to their original source. Wig is abridged from periwig, which comes from the Low Dutch peruik, which has the same meaning. When first introduced into the English language, it was written and pronounced perwick, the u being changed into w, as may still be seen in old English books. Afterwards the i was introduced for euphony, and it became periwick; and finally the ck was changed into g, making it periwig, and by contraction wig.
Wig.—This word serves as a great example of how fascinating and valuable it is to track words through their etymological journeys back to their origins. Wig is shortened from periwig, which comes from the Low Dutch wig, meaning the same thing. When it was first introduced into English, it was spelled and pronounced perwick, with the u later changing to w, as seen in older English texts. Then the i was added for a smoother sound, turning it into periwick; eventually, the ck changed to g, resulting in periwig, and through abbreviation, we get wig.
The Dutch word peruik was borrowed from the French perruque. The termination uik is a favorite one with that nation, and is generally substituted in borrowed words for the French uque and the German auch. The French word perruque comes from the Spanish peluca, and this last from pelo, hair, which is derived from the Latin pilus. Hence the Latin word pilus, hair, through successive transformations, has produced the English word wig.
The Dutch word wig was taken from the French wig. The ending uik is a popular choice in that language, usually replacing the French uque and the German also in borrowed words. The French word wig comes from the Spanish wig, which in turn comes from hair, meaning hair, and that is derived from the Latin fiber. Therefore, the Latin word hair, meaning hair, has evolved through various changes to produce the English word wig.
Windfall.—Centuries ago a clause was extant in the tenure of many English estates, to the effect that the owners might not fell the trees, as the best timber was reserved for the Royal Navy; but any trees that came down without cutting were the 205property of the tenant. Hence was a storm a joyful and a lucrative event in proportion to its intensity, and the larger the number of forest patriarchs it laid low the richer was the lord of the land. He had received a veritable “windfall.” Ours in the nineteenth century come in the shape of any unexpected profit; and those of us who own estates rather quake in sympathy with our trembling trees on windy nights.
Windfall.—Centuries ago, there was a rule in place for many English estates that said owners couldn't cut down the trees, as the best timber was reserved for the Royal Navy. However, any trees that fell down naturally became the property of the tenant. So, a storm was seen as a joyful and profitable event, and the more trees it knocked over, the richer the landowner became. They experienced a true "windfall." In the nineteenth century, we define windfalls as unexpected profits, and those of us who own estates often feel nervous along with our swaying trees on windy nights.
ODD CHANGES OF SIGNIFICATION.
The first verse of Dean Whittingham’s version of the 114th Psalm may be quoted as a curious instance of a phrase originally grave in its meaning become strangely incongruous:—
The first verse of Dean Whittingham’s version of the 114th Psalm may be quoted as a curious example of how a phrase that once had a serious meaning has become oddly out of place:—
Since the completion of the Pacific Railway, some introductory lines in Southey’s Thalaba require correction:—
Since the completion of the Pacific Railway, some introductory lines in Southey’s Thalaba need to be corrected:—
If the author would revisit the earth, he would find numerous “stations” on the railway route across the Great American Desert.
If the author were to revisit the earth, he would find many "stops" along the railway route through the Great American Desert.
Among funny instances of wresting from a text a meaning to suit a particular purpose, is that of the classical scholar who undertook to prove that the word “smile” was used as a euphemism for a drink in ancient times, by quoting from Horace’s Odes:—
Among amusing examples of twisting a text's meaning to fit a specific agenda is the classic scholar who tried to prove that the word "smile" was a euphemism for a drink in ancient times by quoting from Horace’s Odes:—
Which is rendered by Martin:—
Rendered by Martin:—
206By lento risu, it was argued, is clearly meant a slow smile, or one taken through a straw!
206By slow laughter, it was suggested that it clearly refers to a slow smile, or one that’s taken through a straw!
The meaning of the word Wretch is one not generally understood. It was originally, and is now, in some parts of England, used as a term of the softest and fondest tenderness. This is not the only instance in which words in their present general acceptation bear a very opposite meaning to what they did in Shakspeare’s time. The word Wench, formerly, was not used in the low and vulgar acceptation that it is at present. Damsel was the appellation of young ladies of quality, and Dame a title of distinction. Knave once signified a servant; and in an early translation of the New Testament, instead of “Paul, the Servant,” we read “Paul, the Knave of Jesus Christ,” or, Paul, a rascal of Jesus Christ. Varlet was formerly used in the same sense as valet. On the other hand, the word Companion, instead of being the honorable synonym of Associate, occurs in the play of Othello with the same contemptuous meaning which we now affix, in its abusive sense, to the word “Fellow;” for Emilia, perceiving that some secret villain had aspersed the character of the virtuous Desdemona, thus indignantly exclaims:—
The meaning of the word Wretch isn’t commonly understood today. It was originally, and still is in some parts of England, used as a term of the softest and most affectionate tenderness. This isn’t the only example where words have changed meaning from Shakespeare’s time to now. The word Wench, for instance, wasn’t used in the low and vulgar way it is today. Damsel was a term for young ladies of quality, and Dame was a title of respect. Knave used to mean a servant; in an early translation of the New Testament, instead of “Paul, the Servant,” we find “Paul, the Knave of Jesus Christ,” or Paul, a rascal of Jesus Christ. Varlet was once used in the same way as valet. On the other hand, the word Companion, instead of being an honorable synonym for Associate, is used in Othello with the same contemptible meaning we now attach to the word “Fellow” in its insulting form; for Emilia, noticing that some secret villain had slandered the character of the virtuous Desdemona, indignantly exclaims:—
Villain formerly meant a bondman. In feudal law, according to Blackstone, the term was applied to those who held lands and tenements in villenage,—a tenure by base services.
Villain used to refer to a bondsman. In feudal law, as Blackstone explained, the term was used for those who owned lands and property in villenage,—a kind of tenure based on servile obligations.
Pedant formerly meant a schoolmaster. Shakspeare says in his Twelfth Night,—
Pedant used to mean a schoolmaster. Shakespeare says in his Twelfth Night,—
Bacon, in his Pathway unto Prayer, thus uses the word Imp: “Let us pray for the preservation of the King’s most excellent Majesty, and for the prosperous success of his entirely beloved son Edward our Prince, that most angelic imp.”
Bacon, in his Pathway unto Prayer, uses the word Imp: “Let us pray for the preservation of the King’s most excellent Majesty, and for the prosperous success of his beloved son Edward our Prince, that most angelic imp.”
207The word brat is not considered very elegant now, but a few years ago it had a different signification from its present one. An old hymn or De profundis, by Gascoine, contains the lines,—
207The word brat isn't seen as very classy these days, but a few years ago it meant something different. An old hymn or From the depths, by Gascoigne, contains the lines,—
It is a somewhat noticeable fact, that the changes in the signification of words have generally been to their deterioration; that is, words that heretofore had no sinister meaning have acquired it. The word cunning, for example, formerly meant nothing sinister or underhanded; and in Thrope’s confession in Fox’s “Book of Martyrs” is the sentence, “I believe that all these three persons [in the Godhead] are even in power, and in cunning, and in might, full of grace and of all goodness.” Demure is another of this class. It was used by earlier writers without the insinuation which is now almost latent in it, that the external shows of modesty and sobriety rest on no corresponding realities. Explode formerly meant to drive off the stage with loud clappings of the hands, but gradually became exaggerated into its present signification. Facetious, too, originally meant urbane, but now has so degenerated as to have acquired the sense of buffoonery; and Mr. Trench sees indications that it will ere long acquire the sense of indecent buffoonery.
It’s quite noticeable that the meanings of words have generally deteriorated; that is, words that previously had no negative connotation have gained one. The word cunning, for instance, used to mean nothing dishonest or sneaky; and in Thrope’s confession in Fox’s “Book of Martyrs,” there’s the sentence, “I believe that all these three persons [in the Godhead] are even in power, and in cunning, and in might, full of grace and of all goodness.” Demure is another example. Earlier writers used it without the implication that the outward appearance of modesty and restraint lacks any real substance. The word explode once meant to send someone off the stage with loud applause, but has gradually exaggerated into its current meaning. Facetious originally meant polite and witty, but has now degenerated to suggest buffoonery, and Mr. Trench sees signs that it will soon imply indecent buffoonery as well.
Frippery now means trumpery and odds and ends of cheap finery; but once it meant old clothes of value, and not worthless, as the term at present implies. The word Gossip formerly meant only a sponsor in baptism. Sponsors were supposed to become acquainted at the baptismal font, and by their sponsorial act to establish an indefinite affinity towards each other and the child. Thus the word was applied to all who were familiar and intimate, and finally obtained the meaning which is now predominant in it.
Frippery now refers to cheap ornaments and odds and ends, but it used to mean old clothes of value, not worthless items as it suggests today. The word Gossip originally only referred to a baptismal sponsor. Sponsors were expected to connect at the baptismal font, creating a lasting bond between themselves and the child. Over time, the term came to apply to anyone who was familiar and friendly, and eventually took on its current meaning.
Homely once meant secret and familiar, though in the time of Milton it had acquired the same sense as at present. Idiot, 208from the Greek, originally signified only a private man as distinguished from one in public office, and from that it has degenerated till it has come to designate a person of defective mental powers. Incense once meant to kindle not only anger, but good passions as well; Fuller uses it in the sense of “to incite.” Indolence originally signified a freedom from passion or pain, but now implies a condition of languid non-exertion. Insolent was once only “unusual.”
Homely used to mean secret and familiar, but by Milton's time, it had taken on the same meaning it has today. Idiot, 208 from Greek, originally referred to a private individual as opposed to someone in a public position, and has since declined to mean a person with limited mental abilities. Incense used to mean to stir up not just anger, but also positive feelings; Fuller uses it to mean “to incite.” Indolence originally meant a state free from passion or pain, but now indicates a state of lazy inaction. Insolent once simply meant “unusual.”
The derivation of lumber is peculiar. As the Lombards were the bankers, so they were also the pawnbrokers, of the Middle Ages. The “lumber-room” was then the place where the Lombard banker and broker stored his pledges, and lumber gradually came to mean the pledges themselves. As these naturally accumulated till they got out of date or became unserviceable, it is easy to trace the steps by which the word descended to its present meaning.
The origin of lumber is interesting. The Lombards were the bankers and also the pawnbrokers of the Middle Ages. The “lumber-room” was the space where the Lombard banker and broker kept his pledges, and lumber gradually came to refer to the pledges themselves. As these naturally piled up until they became outdated or unusable, it’s easy to see how the word evolved to its current meaning.
Obsequious implies an unmanly readiness to fall in with the will of another; but in the original obsequium, or in the English word as employed two centuries ago, there was nothing of this: it rather meant obedience and mildness. Shakspeare, speaking of a deceased person, says,—
Obsequious suggests an overly eager willingness to comply with someone else's wishes; however, in the original term obsequium, or in the English usage from two centuries ago, it didn't carry that connotation: it was more about obedience and gentleness. Shakespeare, referring to someone who has passed away, says,—
Property and propriety were once synonymous, both referring to material things, as the French word propriété does now. Foreigners do not often catch the distinction at present made in English between the two words; and we know a French gentleman who, recently meeting with some pecuniary reverses, astonished his friends by telling them that he had lost all his “propriety.”
Property and propriety used to mean the same thing, both referring to physical possessions, just like the French word property still does today. Nowadays, non-English speakers often miss the difference between the two words in English; we know a French gentleman who, after experiencing some financial setbacks, surprised his friends by saying he had lost all his “propriety.”
A poet is a person who writes poetry, and, according to the good old customs, a proser was a person who wrote prose, and simply the antithesis of poet. The word has now a sadly different signification; and it would not be considered very respectable to term Addison, Irving, Bancroft, or Everett “prosers.”
A poet is someone who writes poetry, and, following traditional customs, a proser was someone who wrote prose, basically the opposite of a poet. The word now has a rather unfortunate meaning; it wouldn’t be seen as very respectable to refer to Addison, Irving, Bancroft, or Everett as “prosers.”
INFLUENCE OF NAMES.
The Romans, from the time they expelled their kings, could never endure the idea of being governed by a king. But they submitted to the most abject slavery under an emperor. And Oliver Cromwell did not venture to risk disgusting the republicans by calling himself king, though under the title of Protector he exercised regal functions.
The Romans, since they got rid of their kings, could never stand the idea of being ruled by a king. Yet, they accepted the most extreme oppression under an emperor. Oliver Cromwell didn't dare to upset the republicans by calling himself king, even though under the title of Protector he held royal powers.
The American colonies submitted to have their commerce and their manufactures crippled by restrictions avowedly for the benefit of the mother-country, and were thus virtually taxed to the amount of all that they in any instance lost by paying more for some article than it would cost to make it themselves, or to buy it of foreigners. But as soon as a tax was imposed under that name, they broke out into rebellion.
The American colonies agreed to have their trade and industries limited by restrictions that were clearly in favor of the mother country, effectively making them taxed for everything they lost by paying more for certain goods than it would have cost to produce them themselves or to buy them from other countries. But as soon as a tax was officially labeled as such, they revolted.
It is a marvel to many, and seems to them nearly incredible, that the Israelites should have gone after other gods; and yet the vulgar in most parts of Christendom are actually serving the gods of their heathen ancestors. But then they do not call them gods, but fairies or bogles, etc., and they do not apply the word worship to their veneration of them, nor sacrifice to their offerings. And this slight change of name keeps most people in ignorance of a fact that is before their eyes.
It amazes many people and seems almost unbelievable that the Israelites turned to other gods; yet the average person in most parts of Christendom is actually following the deities of their pagan ancestors. However, they don’t refer to them as gods, but as fairies or bogles, etc., and they don’t use the term worship for their respect towards them, nor do they call their offerings sacrifices. This small change in terminology keeps most people unaware of a truth that is right in front of them.
Others, professed Christians, are believed, both by others and by themselves, to be worshippers of the true God, though they invest him with the attributes of one of the evil demons worshipped by the heathen. There is hardly any professed Christian who would not be shocked at the application of the word caprice to the acts of the Most High. And yet his choosing to inflict suffering on his creatures “for no cause” (as some theologians maintain) “except that such is his will,” is the very definition of caprice.
Others, who call themselves Christians, are thought, both by others and by themselves, to be worshippers of the true God, even though they attribute to Him the attributes of one of the evil demons worshipped by the pagans. There’s hardly a Christian who wouldn't be appalled at the idea of describing the actions of the Most High as caprice. And yet, His choice to cause suffering to His creations “for no reason” (as some theologians suggest) “except that it's His will,” is the exact definition of caprice.
But when Lord Byron published his poem of “Cain,” which contains substantially the very same doctrine, there was a great outcry among pious people, including, no doubt, many who were of the theological school which teaches the same, under other names.
But when Lord Byron released his poem “Cain,” which essentially contains the exact same doctrine, there was a huge uproar among religious people, including, no doubt, many from the theological school that teaches the same principles under different names.
210Why and how any evil comes to exist in the universe, reason cannot explain, and revelation does not tell us. But it does show us what is not the cause. That it cannot be from ill will or indifference, is proved by the sufferings undergone by the beloved Son.
210Why and how any evil exists in the universe is beyond the explanation of reason, and revelation doesn't provide the answer either. However, it does show us what is not the cause. That it cannot be from ill will or indifference is proven by the suffering endured by the beloved Son.
Many probably would have hesitated if it had been proposed to them to join a new Church under that name, who yet eagerly enrolled themselves in the Evangelical Alliance,—which is in fact a church, with meetings for worship, and sermons under the name of speeches, and a creed consisting of sundry Articles of Faith to be subscribed; only not called by those names.
Many would probably have hesitated if they were asked to join a new Church under that name, yet they eagerly signed up for the Evangelical Alliance—which is essentially a church, with worship meetings and sermons referred to as speeches, and a creed made up of various Articles of Faith to be agreed upon; just not called by those names.
Mrs. B. expressed to a friend her great dread of such a medicine as tartar-emetic. She always, she said, gave her children antimonial wine. He explained to her that this is tartar-emetic dissolved in wine; but she remained unchanged.
Mrs. B. told a friend how much she feared a medicine like tartar-emetic. She mentioned that she always gave her kids antimonial wine. He explained that this is tartar-emetic dissolved in wine, but she didn't change her mind.
Mrs. H. did not like that her daughters should be novel-readers; and all novels in prose were indiscriminately prohibited; but any thing in verse was as indiscriminately allowed.
Mrs. H. didn't want her daughters to read novels; and all novels in prose were completely banned; but anything in verse was totally allowed.
Probably a Quaker would be startled at any one’s using the very words of the prophets, “Thus saith the Lord:” yet he says the same things in the words, “The Spirit moveth me to say so and so.” And some, again, who would be shocked at this, speak of a person,—adult or child,—who addresses a congregation in extempore prayers and discourses, as being under the influence of the Holy Spirit; though in neither case is there any miraculous proof given. And they abhor a claim to infallibility; only they are quite certain of being under the guidance of the Spirit in whatever they say or do.
A Quaker would probably be surprised by anyone using the exact words of the prophets, like "Thus saith the Lord." Yet, they express similar ideas by saying, "The Spirit moves me to say this or that." At the same time, some people who would be appalled by this refer to someone—whether an adult or a child—who speaks to a congregation in spontaneous prayers and talks as being inspired by the Holy Spirit, even though there’s no miraculous proof in either case. They reject any claim to infallibility; yet, they are completely confident that they are being guided by the Spirit in everything they say or do.
Quakers, again, and some other dissenters, object to a hired ministry, (in reality, an unhired;) but their preachers are to be supplied with all they need; like the father of Molière’s Bourgeois, who was no shopkeeper, but kindly chose goods for his friends, which he let them have for money.
Quakers and a few other dissenters oppose having a paid ministry (in truth, an unpaid one); however, their preachers are to be provided with everything they require, much like the father of Molière’s Bourgeois, who wasn’t a store owner but generously selected items for his friends, which he sold to them for money.
COMPOUND EPITHETS.
The custom of using hard compounds furnished Ben Jonson opportunities of showing his learning as well as his satire. He used to call them “words un-in-one-breath-utterable.” Redi mentions an epigram against the sophists, made up of compounds “a mile long.” Joseph Scaliger left a curious example in Latin, part of which may be thus rendered into English:—
The tradition of using complex words gave Ben Jonson chances to demonstrate his knowledge and his wit. He often referred to them as “words you can’t say in one breath.” Redi talks about an epigram aimed at the sophists, made up of compounds “a mile long.” Joseph Scaliger provided an interesting example in Latin, part of which can be translated into English as follows:—
The old naturalist Lovell published a book at Oxford, in 1661, entitled Panzoologicomineralogia. Rabelais proposed the following title for a book:—Antipericatametaparhengedamphicribrationes. The reader of Shakspeare will remember Costard’s honorificabilitudinitatibus, in Love’s Labor Lost, v. 1. There was recently in the British army a major named Teyoninhokarawen. In the island of Mull, Scotland, is a locality named Drimtaidhorickhillichattan. The original Mexican for country curates is Notlazomahnitzteopixcatatzins. The longest Nipmuck word in Eliot’s Indian Bible is in St. Mark i. 40, Wutteppesittukqussunnoowehtunkquoh, and signifies “kneeling down to him.”
The old naturalist Lovell published a book at Oxford in 1661, titled Panzoologicomineralogia. Rabelais suggested the following title for a book: Antipericatametaparhengedamphicribrationes. Readers of Shakespeare will remember Costard’s honorificabilitudinitatibus in Love’s Labour's Lost, Act V, Scene 1. There was recently a major in the British army named Teyoninhokarawen. On the island of Mull in Scotland, there is a place called Drimtaidhorickhillichattan. The original Mexican term for country curates is Notlazomahnitzteopixcatatzins. The longest Nipmuck word in Eliot’s Indian Bible is in St. Mark 1:40, Wutteppesittukqussunnoowehtunkquoh, which means “kneeling down to him.”
OUR VERNACULAR IN CHAUCER’S TIME.
Tall Writing.
DEFINITION OF TRANSCENDENTALISM.
The spiritual cognoscence of psychological irrefragibility connected with concutient ademption of incolumnient spirituality and etherialized contention of subsultory concretion.
The understanding of unshakable psychology linked to the integral removal of hidden spirituality and the elevated struggle of fleeting reality.
Translated by a New York lawyer, it stands thus:—
Translated by a New York lawyer, it reads as follows:—
Transcendentalism is two holes in a sand-bank: a storm washes away the sand-bank without disturbing the holes.
Transcendentalism is like two holes in a sandbank: a storm washes away the sandbank but leaves the holes untouched.
THE DOMICILE ERECTED BY JOHN.
FROM THE CURIOSITIES OF ADVERTISING.
To an Oppidan, a Ruricolist, or a Cosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately:
To a Townie, a Country Person, or a City Dweller, and can be started right away:
The House in Stone Row, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid Verbosity, the Proprietor with Compendiosity will give a Perfunctory description of the Premises, in the Compagination of which he has Sedulously studied the convenience of 214the Occupant. It is free from Opacity, Tenebrosity, Fumidity, and Injucundity, and no building can have greater Pellucidity or Translucency—in short, its Diaphaneity even in the Crepuscle makes it like a Pharos, and without laud, for its Agglutination and Amenity, it is a most Delectable Commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the Neighbors have none of the Truculence, the Immanity, the Torvity, the Spinosity, the Putidness, the Pugnacity, nor the Fugacity observable in other parts of the town, but their Propinquity and Consanguinity occasion Jocundity and Pudicity—from which, and the Redolence of the place (even in the dog-days), they are remarkable for Longevity. For terms and particulars apply to James Hutchinson, opposite the Market-House.—Dub. News.
The House in Stone Row, recently owned by Capt. Siri. To keep it brief, the Owner will provide a short overview of the Property, considering the comfort of the 214tenant. It is free from darkness, dampness, unpleasantness, and noise, and no building can be clearer or more transparent—in short, its clarity even at twilight makes it like a beacon, and without exaggeration, due to its design and charm, it is a very pleasant place to live; and anyone who resides here will find that the Neighbors lack the harshness, vastness, grimness, sharpness, foulness, aggressiveness, or fleeting nature seen in other areas of town. Instead, their closeness and connections bring joy and modesty—coupled with the pleasant scents of the area (even in the summer heat), they are known for their long life. For terms and details, contact James Hutchinson, across from the Market Hall.—Dub. News.
FROM THE CURIOSITIES OF THE POST-OFFICE.
The following is a genuine epistle, sent by an emigrant country schoolmaster to a friend at home:—
The following is a real letter sent by a country schoolteacher who has moved away to a friend back home:—
Mr M. Connors
Mr. M. Connors
With congruous gratitude and decorum I accost to you this debonnaire communication. And announce to you with amicable Complacency that we continually enjoy competent laudable good health, thanks to our omnipotent Father for it. We are endowed with the momentous prerogatives of respectable operations of a supplement concuity of having a fine brave and gallant youthful daughter the pendicity ladies age is four months at this date, we denominated her Margaret Connolly.
With heartfelt gratitude and respect, I reach out to you with this cheerful message. I’m happy to let you know that we are in good health, and we are thankful to our all-powerful Father for that. We are blessed with the wonderful privilege of having a lovely, brave, and spirited young daughter. She is four months old as of today, and we’ve named her Margaret Connolly.
I have to respond to the Communication and accost and remit a Convoy revealing with your identity candor and sincerity. If your brother who had been pristinely located and stationed in England whether he has induced himself with ecstasy to be in preparation to progress with you. I am paid by the respectable potent loyal nobleman that I work for one dollar per day. Announce to us in what Concuity the crops and the products of husbandry dignify, also predict how is John Carroll and his wife and family. My brother and Myself are continually 215employed and occupied in similar work. Living and doing good. Dictate how John Mahony wife and family is.
I need to reply to the communication and talk about sending a convoy that reveals your true identity with honesty and openness. Has your brother, who has been perfectly positioned in England, managed to get himself excited and ready to move forward with you? I earn one dollar a day from the respectable and powerful nobleman I work for. Let us know how the crops and agricultural products are doing, and also give us an update on John Carroll and his wife and family. My brother and I are constantly engaged in similar work, living well and doing good. Please tell us how John Mahony and his wife and family are.
Don’t you permit oblivion to obstruct you from inserting this. Prognosticate how Mrs Harrington is and if she accept my intelligence or any convoy from either of Her 2 progenies since their embarkation for this nation. If she has please specify with congruous and elysian gratitude with validity and veracity to my magnanimous self.
Don’t let forgetfulness stop you from adding this. Let me know how Mrs. Harrington is doing and if she has received my message or any news from either of her two children since they arrived in this country. If she has, please respond with sincere and heartfelt appreciation to my generous self.
I remit my respects to my former friends and acquaintances.
I send my regards to my old friends and acquaintances.
P.S. Direct your Epistle to Pembroke, State of Maine.
P.S. Send your letter to Pembroke, Maine.
I am determined and candidly arrive at Corolary, as I am fully resolved to transfer a sufficient portion of money to you to recompense your liabilities from thence to hence. I hope your similar operations will not impede any occurrence that might obstruct your progression on or at the specified time the 17 of March next.
I am determined and straightforward in reaching Corolary, as I am fully committed to sending you enough money to cover your debts from there to here. I hope your own activities won’t interfere with anything that could delay your progress on or by the specified date, March 17th.
SPANISH PLAY-BILL,
To the Sovereign of Heaven—to the Mother of the Eternal World—to the Polar Star of Spain—to the Comforter of all Spain—to the faithful Protectress of the Spanish nation—to the Honor and Glory of the Most Holy Virgin Mary—for her benefit and for the Propagation of her Worship—the Company of Comedians will this day give a representation of the Comic Piece called—
To the Sovereign of Heaven—to the Mother of the Eternal World—to the Polar Star of Spain—to the Comforter of all Spain—to the faithful Protectress of the Spanish nation—to the Honor and Glory of the Most Holy Virgin Mary—for her benefit and for the Promotion of her Worship—the Company of Comedians will today present a performance of the Comic Piece called—
The celebrated Italian will also dance the Fandango, and the Theatre will be respectably illuminated.
The famous Italian will also perform the Fandango, and the theater will be properly lit.
In a medical work entitled The Breviarie of Health, published in 1547, by Andrew Borde, a physician of that period, is a prologue addressed to physicians, beginning thus:—
In a medical book called The Breviarie of Health, published in 1547 by Andrew Borde, a physician from that time, there's a prologue directed at doctors, starting like this:—
Egregious doctors and masters of the eximious and arcane science of physic, of your urbanity exasperate not yourselves against me for making this little volume.
Egregious doctors and masters of the exceptional and mysterious science of medicine, please do not get upset with me for creating this little book.
THE MAD POET.
McDonald Clarke, commonly called the mad poet, died a few years ago in the Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell’s Island, New York. He wrote those oft-quoted lines,—
McDonald Clarke, often referred to as the mad poet, passed away a few years ago in the Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell’s Island, New York. He penned those frequently quoted lines,—
In his wilder moments he set all rules at defiance, and mingled the startlingly sublime and the laughably ridiculous in the oddest confusion. He talks thus madly of Washington:—
In his wilder moments, he disregarded all the rules and mixed the shockingly profound with the absurdly silly in the most confusing ways. He speaks this crazily about Washington:—
In the following lines, he sketches, with a few bold touches, a well-known place, sometimes called a rum-hole:—
In the following lines, he paints a brief yet striking picture of a familiar spot, sometimes referred to as a rum-hole:—
FOOTE’S FARRAGO.
The following droll nonsense was written by Foote, the dramatist, for the purpose of trying the memory of Macklin, who boasted that he could learn any thing by heart on hearing it once:—
The following amusing nonsense was written by Foote, the playwright, to test Macklin’s memory, who claimed he could memorize anything after hearing it just once:—
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf to make an apple-pie; and, at the same time, a great she-bear coming up the street pops its head into the shop—What! no soap? So he died; and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Joblilies, and the Garyulies, and the great Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top. And they all fell to playing the game of “catch as catch can,” till the gunpowder ran out of the heels of their boots!
So she went into the garden to grab a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time, a huge she-bear appeared on the street and poked its head into the shop—What! No soap? So he died; and she foolishly married the barber; and there were the Picninnies, the Joblilies, the Garyulies, and the great Panjandrum himself, with the little round button on top. And they all started playing “catch as catch can” until the gunpowder ran out of the heels of their boots!
BURLESQUE OF THE STYLE OF DR. JOHNSON.
While I was admiring the fantastical ramifications of some umbelliferous plants that hung over the margin of the Liffey, the fallacious bank, imperceptibly corroded by the moist tooth of the fluid, gave way beneath my feet, and I was suddenly submerged to some fathoms of profundity. Presence of mind, in constitutions not naturally timid, is generally in proportion to the imminence of the peril. Having never learned to move through the water in horizontal progression, had I desponded, I had perished; but, being for a moment raised above the element by my struggles, or by some felicitous casualty, I was sensible of the danger, and immediately embraced the means of extrication. A cow, at the moment of my lapse, had entered the stream, within the distance of a protruded arm; and being in the act of transverse navigation to seek the pasture of the opposite bank, I laid hold on that part of the animal which is loosely pendent behind, and is formed by the continuation of the vertebræ. In this manner I was safely conveyed to a fordable passage, not without some delectation from the sense of the progress without effort on my part, and the exhilarating approximation of more than problematical deliverance. Though in some respects I resembled the pilot of Gyas, Jam senior madidaque fluens in veste, yet my companions, unlike the barbarous Phrygian spectators, forbore to acerbitate the uncouthness of embarrassment by the insults of derision. Shrieks of complorance testified sorrow for my submersion, and safety was rendered more pleasant by the felicitations of sympathy. As the danger was over, I took no umbrage at a little risibility excited by the feculence of my visage, upon which the cow had discharged her gramineous digestion in a very ludicrous abundance. About this time the bell summoned us to dinner; and, as the cutaneous contact of irrigated garments is neither pleasant nor salubrious, I was easily persuaded by the ladies to divest myself of mine. Colonel Manly obligingly accommodated me with a covering of camlet. I found it commodious, 218and more agreeable than the many compressive ligaments of modern drapery. That there might be no violation of decorum, I took care to have the loose robe fastened before with small cylindrical wires, which the dainty fingers of the ladies easily removed from their dresses and inserted into mine, at such proper intervals as to leave no aperture that could awaken the susceptibility of temperament, or provoke the cachinnations of levity.[11]
While I was admiring the amazing features of some umbrella-shaped plants hanging over the edge of the Liffey, the unstable bank, slowly worn away by the wet grip of the water, gave way beneath my feet, and I was suddenly submerged several feet deep. Those with naturally bold personalities usually stay calm in the face of danger, and I was no exception. Since I had never learned to swim, if I had let despair take over, I would have drowned; but as I fought to stay above the surface, or by some lucky chance, I became aware of the danger and quickly figured out how to get out. At that moment, a cow had wandered into the stream, just within reach of my arm, and as it crossed over to get to the grass on the other side, I grabbed hold of its back end. This way, I was safely carried to a shallow area, feeling quite pleased with the effortless progress and the thrilling hope of rescue. While in some ways I resembled the pilot of Gyas, Let’s wear a flowing garment that fits perfectly., my companions, unlike the rude Phrygian crowd, didn't add to my embarrassment with mockery. Instead, cries of sympathy showed they felt sorry for my mishap, and my safety was made even sweeter by their supportive congratulations. Once the danger had passed, I didn't mind a little laughter about my muddy face, which was humorously covered in grass after the cow had done its business on me. About that time, the bell rang for dinner, and since wet clothes aren't comfortable or healthy, the ladies easily convinced me to take mine off. Colonel Manly kindly offered me a camlet cover. I found it comfortable and much nicer than the tight-fitting modern clothes. To avoid any inappropriate displays, I made sure to have the loose robe fastened in front with small cylindrical pins, which the ladies quickly took from their dresses and used to keep mine closed, ensuring there were no gaps to embarrass me or provoke laughter.[11]
NEWSPAPER EULOGY.
The following alliterative eulogy on a young lady appeared, many years ago, in a newspaper:—
The following alliterative tribute to a young woman was published many years ago in a newspaper:—
If boundless benevolence be the basis of beatitude, and harmless humanity a harbinger of hallowed heart, these Christian concomitants composed her characteristics, and conciliated the esteem of her cotemporary acquaintances, who mean to model their manners in the mould of their meritorious monitor.
If boundless kindness is the foundation of happiness, and harmless humanity is a sign of a pure heart, then these Christian traits shaped her character and won the respect of her contemporaries, who aimed to model their behavior after their admirable mentor.
CLEAR AS MUD.
In a series of Philosophical Essays published many years ago, the author[12] gives some definitions of human knowledge, the following of which he considers “least obnoxious to comprehension:”—
In a series of Philosophical Essays published many years ago, the author[12] offers some definitions of human knowledge, the following of which he thinks are “least likely to confuse understanding:”—
A coincidence between the association of ideas, and the order or succession of events or phenomena, according to the relation of cause and effect, and in whatever is subsidiary, or necessary to realize, approximate and extend such coincidence; understanding, by the relation of cause and effect, that order or 219succession, the discovery or development of which empowers an intelligent being, by means of one event or phenomenon, or by a series of given events or phenomena, to anticipate the recurrence of another event or phenomenon, or of a required series of events or phenomena, and to summon them into existence, and employ their instrumentality in the gratification of his wishes, or in the accomplishment of his purposes.
A coincidence occurs when the way we think connects with the order or sequence of events or phenomena, based on cause and effect. This connection also involves anything that is needed to achieve, approximate, and expand on that coincidence. By understanding the relationship of cause and effect, this order or sequence enables an intelligent being to predict when another event or phenomenon will occur, through a single event or a series of events, and to bring them into existence to fulfill their desires or achieve their goals.
INDIGNANT LETTER.
Addressed to a Louisiana clergyman by a Virginia correspondent.
Addressed to a Louisiana pastor by a Virginia writer.
Sir:—You have behaved like an impetiginous acroyli—like those inquinate orosscrolest who envious of my moral celsitude carry their mugacity to the height of creating symposically the fecund words which my polymathic genius uses with uberity to abligate the tongues of the weightless. Sir, you have corassly parodied my own pet words, as though they were tangrams. I will not conceroate reproaches. I would obduce a veil over the atramental ingratitude which has chamiered even my undisceptible heart. I am silent on the foscillation which my coadful fancy must have given you when I offered to become your fanton and adminicle. I will not speak of the liptitude, the ablepsy you have shown in exacerbating me; one whose genius you should have approached with mental discalceation. So, I tell you, Sir, syncophically and without supervacaneous words, nothing will render ignoscible your conduct to me. I warn you that I will vellicate your nose if I thought your moral diathesis could be thereby performed. If I thought that I should not impigorate my reputation by such a degladiation. Go tagygraphic; your oness inquinate draws oblectation from the greatest poet since Milton, and draws upon your head this letter, which will drive you to Webster, and send you to sleep over it.
Sir:—You’ve acted like a foolish child—like those dirty fools who, envious of my high moral standing, take it upon themselves to create ridiculous words that my diverse knowledge uses abundantly to impress the uninformed. Sir, you’ve poorly mimicked my favorite words, as if they were simple puzzles. I won’t shower you with insults. I would like to cover up the awful ingratitude that has even touched my unbreakable heart. I remain quiet about the confusion my generous offer to be your supporter and assistant may have caused you. I won’t mention the rudeness and poor judgment you displayed by aggravating me; someone whose brilliance you should have approached with more respect. So, I tell you, Sir, in a sycophantic way and without unnecessary embellishments, nothing will excuse your behavior towards me. I caution you that I would slap your face if I thought it would change your character. If I believed that such actions wouldn’t harm my reputation. Go away; your filthy presence gets attention from the greatest poet since Milton, and brings upon you this letter, which will lead you to a dictionary, and you’ll doze off while reading it.
“Knowledge is power,” and power is mercy; so I wish you no rovose that it may prove an external hypnotic.
“Knowledge is power,” and power is mercy; so I wish you no harm that it may turn into an everlasting obsession.
INTRAMURAL ÆSTIVATION.
A CHEMICAL VALENTINE.
THE ANATOMIST TO HIS DULCINEA.
ODE TO SPRING.
PRISTINE PROVERBS PREPARED FOR PRECOCIOUS PUPILS.
Metric Prose.
COWPER’S LETTER TO NEWTON.
The following letter was written to Rev. John Newton, by William Cowper, in reference to a poem On Charity, by the latter:—
The following letter was written to Rev. John Newton by William Cowper about a poem On Charity by Cowper:—
My very dear friend, I am going to send, what when you have read, you may scratch your head, and say I suppose, there’s nobody knows, whether what I have got, be verse or not;—by the tune and the time, it ought to be rhyme; but if it be, did ever you see, of late or of yore, such a ditty before?
My very dear friend, I’m going to send something that, when you read it, might make you scratch your head and say, I guess, nobody really knows if what I have is poetry or not;—by the style and the beat, it should be a rhyme; but if it is, have you ever seen something like this, either recently or in the past?
I have writ “Charity,” not for popularity, but as well as I could, in hopes to do good; and if the “Reviewer” should say to be sure, the gentleman’s muse wears Methodist shoes, you may know by her pace, and talk about grace, that she and her bard have little regard for the tastes and fashions, and ruling passions, and hoydening play, of the modern day; and though she assume a borrowed plume, and now and then wear a tittering air, ’tis only her plan, to catch if she can, the giddy and gay, as they go that way, by a production of a new construction; she has baited her trap, in the hope to snap all that may come, with a sugar-plum. His opinion in this will not be amiss; ’tis what I intend, my principal end; and if I succeed, and folks should read, till a few are brought to a serious thought, I shall think I am paid for all I have said, and all I have done, although I have run, many a time, after a rhyme, as far as from hence to the end of my sense, and by hook or by crook, write another book, if I live and am here another year.
I’ve written “Charity,” not to gain popularity, but as best as I could, hoping to do good; and if the “Reviewer” happens to say that the gentleman’s muse wears Methodist shoes, you can tell by her pace and talk about grace that she and her poet don’t really care for the tastes, trends, and wild behavior of today; and even though she puts on a borrowed plume and sometimes gives off a playful vibe, it’s just her strategy to catch, if she can, the carefree and fun-loving as they come by, through a creation of a new style; she’s set her trap, hoping to snag everyone with a sweet treat. His opinion on this won’t be off; it’s what I aim for, my main goal; and if I succeed, and people read until a few are led to think seriously, I’ll feel rewarded for everything I’ve said and done, even though I’ve chased after a rhyme many times, as far as from here to the end of my wits, and by any means necessary, I’ll write another book if I’m still around next year.
I have heard before of a room with a floor, laid upon springs, and suchlike things, with so much art in every part, that when you went in, you were forced to begin a minuet pace, with an air and a grace, swimming about, now in and now out, with a 224deal of a state, in a figure of eight, without pipe or string, or any such thing; and now I have writ, in a rhyming fit, what will make you dance, and, as you advance, will keep you still, though against your will, dancing away, alert and gay, till you come to an end of what I have penned, which that you may do, ere madam and you are quite worn out with jigging about, I take my leave, and here you receive a bow profound, down to the ground, from you humble me—W. C.
I’ve heard before about a room with a floor on springs and other fancy stuff, designed so perfectly that when you step in, you can’t help but start moving in a minuet, full of style and grace, swaying in and out in a figure-eight, all without music or instruments. Now I’ve written something in rhyme that will make you dance, and as you keep moving, you’ll find it hard to stop, even if you want to, dancing away, lively and happy, until you reach the end of what I’ve written. I hope you finish before you and the lady tire yourselves out from all the dancing. With that, I take my leave and here you receive a deep bow from your humble servant—W. C.
EXAMPLE IN IRVING’S NEW YORK.
The following remarkable instance of involuntary poetic prose occurs in Knickerbocker’s humorous history of New York, near the commencement of the Sixth Book:—
The following amazing example of unintentional poetic prose appears in Knickerbocker’s funny history of New York, near the beginning of the Sixth Book:—
The gallant warrior starts from soft repose, from golden visions and voluptuous ease; where, in the dulcet “piping time of peace,” he sought sweet solace after all his toils. No more in beauty’s siren lap reclined, he weaves fair garlands for his lady’s brows; no more entwines with flowers his shining sword, nor through the livelong summer’s day chants forth his love-sick soul in madrigals. To manhood roused, he spurns the amorous flute, doffs from his brawny back the robe of peace, and clothes his pampered limbs in panoply of steel. O’er his dark brow, where late the myrtle waved, where wanton roses breathed enervate love, he rears the beaming casque and nodding plume; grasps the bright shield and ponderous lance, or mounts with eager pride his fiery steed, and burns for deeds of glorious chivalry.
The brave warrior rises from a place of comfort, from golden dreams and indulgent ease; where, in the sweet "calm of peace," he sought comfort after all his hard work. No longer resting in the lap of beauty, he weaves lovely crowns for his lady’s head; he no longer decorates his shining sword with flowers, nor spends the long summer days singing love songs. Awakened to manhood, he rejects the romantic flute, removes the peaceful robe from his strong back, and dresses his well-fed limbs in armor. Over his dark brow, where once the myrtle flourished and seductive roses brought soft love, he places a shining helmet and a waving plume; he grabs his bright shield and heavy lance, or proudly mounts his fiery steed, eager for glorious acts of chivalry.
Why am I here? are you not here? and need I urge a stronger plea? Oh, brother dear, I pray you come and mingle in our festival! Our walls are hung with flowers you love; I culled them by the fountain’s side; the holy lamps are trimmed and set, and you must raise their earliest flame. Without the gate my maidens wait to offer you a robe of state. Then, brother dear, I pray you come and mingle in our festival.
Why am I here? Why aren't you here? Do I need to make a stronger request? Oh, dear brother, I beg you to come and join our celebration! Our walls are decorated with flowers you love; I picked them by the fountain. The sacred lamps are ready and lit, and you need to ignite their first flame. Outside the gate, my maidens are waiting to offer you a ceremonial robe. So, dear brother, I ask you to come and join our celebration.
NELLY’S FUNERAL.
In Horne’s New Spirit of the Age,—a series of criticisms on eminent living authors,—we find an admirable example of prose poetry thus noticed:—
In Horne’s New Spirit of the Age,—a series of critiques on prominent contemporary authors,—we see an excellent example of prose poetry highlighted as follows:—
A curious circumstance is observable in a great portion of the scenes of tragic power, pathos, and tenderness contained in various parts of Mr. Dickens’s works, which it is possible may have been the result of harmonious accident, and the author not even subsequently conscious of it. It is that they are written in blank verse, of irregular metre and rhythms, which Southey, and Shelley, and some other poets, have occasionally adopted. Witness the following description from The Old Curiosity Shop.
A curious situation can be seen in many of the scenes filled with dramatic power, emotion, and tenderness found throughout Mr. Dickens’s works. This might have been due to a happy accident, and the author may not even have noticed it later. These scenes are written in blank verse, with irregular meter and rhythms, which Southey, Shelley, and some other poets have used at times. Check out the following description from The Old Curiosity Shop.
Throughout the whole of the above, only two unimportant words have been omitted—in and its; “granddames” has been substituted for “grandmothers,” and “e’en” for “almost.” All that remains is exactly as in the original, not a single word transposed, and the punctuation the same to a comma. The brief homily that concludes the funeral is profoundly beautiful.
Throughout the whole of the above, only two unimportant words have been omitted—in and its; “granddames” has replaced “grandmothers,” and “e’en” has been changed to “almost.” All that remains is exactly as in the original, not a single word has been moved, and the punctuation is the same up to a comma. The short sermon that wraps up the funeral is profoundly beautiful.
Not a word of the original is changed in the above quotation, which is worthy of the best passages in Wordsworth, and thus, meeting on the common ground of a deeply truthful sentiment, the two most unlike men in the literature of the country are brought into close proximation.
Not a word of the original is changed in the above quotation, which is as good as the best parts in Wordsworth, and so, meeting on the shared foundation of a profoundly honest sentiment, the two most different men in the literature of the country are brought into close proximity.
The following similar passage is from the concluding paragraph of Nicholas Nickleby:—
The following similar passage is from the concluding paragraph of Nicholas Nickleby:—
NIAGARA.
The same rhythmic cadence is observable in the following passage, copied verbatim from the American Notes:—
The same rhythmic pattern can be seen in the following passage, taken directly from the American Notes:—
To any one who reads this we need not say that but three lines in it vary at all from the closest requisitions of an iambic movement. The measure is precisely of the kind which Mr. Southey so often used. For the reader’s convenience, we copy from Thalaba his well remembered lines on Night, as an instance:—
To anyone reading this, we need to point out that only three lines deviate from the strict rules of an iambic rhythm. The meter is just like what Mr. Southey frequently employed. For the reader’s convenience, we quote from Thalaba his famous lines about Night, as an example:—
INVOLUNTARY VERSIFICATION IN THE SCRIPTURES.
The hexametric cadence in the authorized translation of the Bible has been pointed out in another portion of this volume. It is very noticeable in such passages as these, for example, from the Second Psalm:—
The rhythmic pattern in the official translation of the Bible has been highlighted elsewhere in this book. It's especially evident in passages like these, for instance, from the Second Psalm:—
The anapæstic cadence prevalent in the Psalms is also very remarkable:—
The anapestic rhythm commonly found in the Psalms is also quite notable:—
Couplets may be drawn from the same inspired source, as follows:—
Couplets can come from the same source of inspiration, as follows:—
UNINTENTIONAL RHYMES OF PROSERS.
The delicate ear of Addison, who would stop the press to add a conjunction, or erase a comma, allowed this inelegant jingle to escape his detection:—
The sensitive ear of Addison, who would halt the press to add a conjunction or remove a comma, let this awkward jingle slip past his attention:—
Dr. Whewell, when Master of Trinity College, fell into a similar trap, to the great amusement of his readers. In his work on Mechanics, he happened to write literatim and verbatim, though not lincatim, the following tetrastich:—
Dr. Whewell, when he was Master of Trinity College, got caught in a similar mistake, much to the delight of his readers. In his book on Mechanics, he accidentally wrote literatim and verbatim, but not lincatim, the following four lines:—
229A curious instance of involuntary rhythm occurs in President Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address:—
229A curious example of unintentional rhythm happens in President Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address:—
but here the strain abruptly ceases, and the President relapses into prose.
but here the tension suddenly stops, and the President goes back to plain speech.
In the course of a discussion upon the involuntary metre into which Shakspeare so frequently fell, when he intended his minor characters to speak prose, Dr. Johnson observed;
In a discussion about the unintentional rhythm that Shakespeare often slipped into when he meant for his minor characters to speak in prose, Dr. Johnson noted:
Kemble and Mrs. Siddons, from their habit of committing to memory and reciting dramatic blank verse, unconsciously made their most ordinary observations in that measure. Kemble, for instance, on giving a shilling to a beggar, thus answered the surprised look of his companion:—
Kemble and Mrs. Siddons, because they often memorized and recited dramatic blank verse, naturally expressed their everyday thoughts in that style. For example, when Kemble gave a shilling to a beggar, he responded to his companion's surprised look by saying:—
And once when, in a walk with Walter Scott on the banks of the Tweed, a dangerous looking bull made his appearance, Scott took the water, Kemble exclaimed:—
And once, while walking with Walter Scott along the banks of the Tweed, a menacing-looking bull appeared, and Scott jumped into the water. Kemble exclaimed:—
The presence of danger usually makes a man speak naturally, if anything will. If a reciter of blank verse, then, fall unconsciously into the rhythm of it when intending to speak prose, much more may an habitual writer of it be expected to do so. Instances of the kind from the table-talk of both Kemble and his sister might be multiplied. This of Mrs. Siddons,—
The presence of danger often makes a person speak more naturally, if anything will. If someone who normally recites blank verse slips into that rhythm when they intend to speak in prose, then it's even more likely that a writer of blank verse will do the same. There are many examples of this from the casual conversations of both Kemble and his sister. This is about Mrs. Siddons,—
is one of the best known.
is one of the best known.
The Humors of Versification.
THE LOVERS.
A STAMMERING WIFE.
A SONG WITH VARIATIONS.
[Scene.—Wife at the piano; brute of a husband, who has no more soul for music than his boot, in an adjoining apartment, making his toilet.]
[Scene.—Wife at the piano; her husband, who has as much appreciation for music as his boot, is in the next room getting ready.]
THOUGHTS WHILE SHE ROCKS THE CRADLE.
A SERIO-COMIC ELEGY.
In his “Common-Place Book,” the late Archbishop Whately records the following Elegy on the late geologist, Dr. Buckland:
In his “Common-Place Book,” the late Archbishop Whately records the following Elegy on the late geologist, Dr. Buckland:
A REMINISCENCE OF TROY.
THE POET BRYANT AS A HUMORIST.
Those who are familiar with Mr. Lowell’s Fable for Critics, will remember the lines:—
Those who are familiar with Mr. Lowell’s Fable for Critics will recall the lines:—
The Cambridge wit has either misjudged the character of Bryant’s genius, or he has sacrificed a man to an epigram, and subordinated fact to a jeu d’esprit. Though “quiet and dignified,” Mr. Bryant possesses a rare vein of humor, but its bubbling fancies are not generally known or suspected for the reason that he unbends anonymously. Only one of the diversions of his muse appears in his published works—and that is his invocation “To a Mosquito,” which begins thus:—
The wit from Cambridge has either misunderstood Bryant's genius or traded a person for a clever saying, putting creativity above reality. Although Mr. Bryant is “calm and dignified,” he has a unique sense of humor, but his playful ideas aren't widely recognized or suspected because he keeps them to himself. Only one distraction from his creativity shows up in his published works—and that’s his poem “To a Mosquito,” which starts like this:—
One day, when Mr. Bryant discovered in a fresh number of the Atlantic Monthly a so-called poem, which struck him as uncommonly absurd, he sat down and produced a travesty of it, which was much more effective in its ridicule than any sharper criticism could have been made. Here are the two in conjunction:—
One day, when Mr. Bryant saw a new issue of the Atlantic Monthly with a so-called poem that he found completely ridiculous, he sat down and created a parody of it that mocked it far more effectively than any harsh criticism could. Here are the two together:—
THE “ATLANTIC” POEM.
BRYANT’S TRAVESTY.
Since which time nothing has been heard of the Atlantic poet! Only those who were “behind the scenes,” in the office of the Evening Post, in the year 1863, knew the authorship of the burlesque—and the burlesque itself will never appear in the poet’s “collected works.”
Since then, nothing has been heard from the Atlantic poet! Only those who were “behind the scenes” in the office of the Evening Post in 1863 knew who wrote the burlesque—and that burlesque will never be included in the poet’s “collected works.”
ON RECEIPT OF A RARE PIPE.
THE HUMAN EAR.
SIR TRAY: AN ARTHURIAN IDYL.
THE OLOGIES.
THE VARIATION HUMBUG.
The London Charivari thinks that there is more humbug talked, printed, and practiced in reference to music than to anything else in the world, except politics. And of all the musical humbugs extant it occurs to Mr. Punch that the variation humbug is the greatest. This party has not even the sense to invent a tune for himself, but takes someone else’s, and starting therefrom, as an acrobat leaps from a spring-board, 247jumps himself into a musical reputation on the strength of the other party’s ideas. Mr. Punch wonders what would be thought of a poet who should try to make himself renown by this kind of thing—taking a well-known poem of a predecessor and doing variations on it after this fashion:—
The London Charivari believes that there is more nonsense talked, printed, and done about music than anything else in the world, except for politics. And among all the musical nonsense out there, Mr. Punch thinks that the variation nonsense is the biggest. This group doesn’t even have the creativity to come up with their own tune but steals someone else’s and, like an acrobat leaping from a springboard, jumps into a musical reputation based on someone else’s ideas. Mr. Punch wonders what people would think of a poet who tried to gain fame by doing something similar—taking a well-known poem from another writer and making variations on it like this:—
BUGGINS’ VARIATIONS ON THE BUSY BEE.
There! Would a poet get much reputation for these variations, which are much better in their way than most of those built upon tunes? Would the poetical critics come out, as the musical critics do, with “Upon Watts’ marble foundation Buggins has raised a sparkling alabaster palace;” or, “The old-fashioned Watts has been brought into new honor by the étincellant Buggins;” or “We love the old tune, but we have room in our hearts for the fairy-like fountains of bird-song which Buggins has bid start from it?” Mr. Punch has an idea that Buggins would have no such luck; the moral to be deduced from which fact is, that a musical prig is luckier than a poetical prig.
There! Would a poet gain much recognition for these variations, which are actually better in their own way than most of those based on songs? Would the poetry critics come out, like the music critics do, with “On Watts’ solid foundation, Buggins has built a dazzling alabaster palace;” or, “The old-fashioned Watts has been newly honored by the sparkling Buggins;” or “We love the old tune, but we also have space in our hearts for the magical fountains of birdsong that Buggins has brought forth from it?” Mr. Punch believes that Buggins wouldn't have such luck; the takeaway from this is that a musical snob is luckier than a poetic snob.
REITERATIVE VOCAL MUSIC.
A well-known reviewer, in an article on Hymnology, says:—
A well-known reviewer, in an article on Hymnology, says:—
Who could endure to hear and sing hymns, the meaning and force of which he really felt—set, as they frequently have been, to melodies from the Opera, and even worse, or massacred by the repetition of the end of each stanza, no matter whether or not the grammar and sense were consistent with it. Take such memorable cases of incongruity as:—
Who could stand to hear and sing hymns, the meaning and impact of which he truly felt—set, as they often are, to tunes from the Opera, and even worse, or ruined by repeating the end of each stanza, regardless of whether the grammar and meaning made sense. Consider such memorable examples of inconsistency as:—
249To which he might have added from Dr. Watts:—
249He could have also included from Dr. Watts:—
Or this to the same common metre tune, “Miles’s Lane”:—
Or this to the same common meter tune, “Miles’s Lane”:—
Or this when sung to “Job”:—
Or this when sung to “Job”:—
Or—
Or—
Or this crowning absurdity:—
Or this ridiculous absurdity:—
This to the tune of “Aaron” 7’s:—
This to the tune of “Aaron” 7’s:—
This has recently been added in a fashionable metropolitan church:—
This has recently been added in a trendy city church:—
And further havoc is made with language and sense thus:—
And even more chaos is created with language and meaning like this:—
And—
And—
And—
And—
To which we may add:—
To which we can add:—
Two trebles sing, “And learn to kiss”; two trebles and alto, “And learn to kiss”; two trebles, alto, and tenor, “And learn to kiss”; the bass, solus, “the rod.”
Two sopranos sing, “And learn to kiss”; two sopranos and an alto, “And learn to kiss”; two sopranos, an alto, and a tenor, “And learn to kiss”; the bass, alone, “the rod.”
This is sung to a tune called “Boyce”:—
This is sung to a tune called “Boyce”:—
THE CURSE OF O’KELLY.
Carmac O’Kelly, the celebrated Irish harper, went to Doneraile, in the county of Cork, where his watch was pilfered from his fob. This so roused his ire that he celebrated the people in the following unexampled “string of curses:”—
Carmac O’Kelly, the famous Irish harper, went to Doneraile in County Cork, where his watch was stolen from his pocket. This made him so angry that he honored the people with the following unique “string of curses:”—
Hiberniana.
Maria Edgeworth, in her Essay on Irish Bulls, remarks that “the difficulty of selecting from the vulgar herd a bull that shall be entitled to the prize, from the united merits of pre-eminent absurdity and indisputable originality, is greater than hasty judges may imagine.”
Maria Edgeworth, in her Essay on Irish Bulls, notes that “the challenge of picking out from the common crowd a bull that deserves the prize, based on its outstanding absurdity and undeniable originality, is more difficult than quick judges might think.”
Very true; but if the prize were offered for a batch of Irish diamonds, we think the following copy of a letter written during the Rebellion, by S——, an Irish member of Parliament, to his friend in London, would present the strongest claim:—
Very true; but if a prize were offered for a batch of Irish diamonds, we believe the following copy of a letter written during the Rebellion by S——, an Irish member of Parliament, to his friend in London, would have the strongest claim:—
“My dear Sir:—Having now a little peace and quietness, I sit down to inform you of the dreadful bustle and confusion we are in from these blood-thirsty rebels, most of whom are (thank God!) killed and dispersed. We are in a pretty mess; can get nothing to eat, nor wine to drink, except whiskey; and when we sit down to dinner, we are obliged to keep both hands armed. Whilst I write this, I hold a pistol in each hand and a sword in the other. I concluded in the beginning that this would be the end of it; and I see I was right, for it is not half over yet. At present there are such goings on, that every thing is at a stand still. I should have answered your letter a fortnight ago, but I did not receive it till this morning. Indeed, hardly a mail arrives safe without being robbed. No longer ago than yesterday the coach with the mails from Dublin was robbed near this town: the bags had been judiciously left behind for fear of accident, and by good luck there was nobody in it but two outside passengers who had nothing for thieves to take. Last Thursday notice was given that a gang of rebels were advancing here under the French standard; but they had no colors, nor any drums except bagpipes. Immediately every man in the place, including women and children, ran out to meet them. We soon found our force much too little; and we were far too near to think of retreating. Death was in every 253face; but to it we went, and by the time half our little party were killed we began to be all alive again. Fortunately, the rebels had no guns, except pistols, cutlasses, and pikes; and as we had plenty of guns and ammunition, we put them all to the sword. Not a soul of them escaped, except some that were drowned in an adjacent bog; and in a very short time nothing was to be heard but silence. Their uniforms were all different colors, but mostly green. After the action, we went to rummage a sort of camp which they had left behind them. All we found was a few pikes without heads, a parcel of empty bottles full of water, and a bundle of French commissions filled up with Irish names. Troops are now stationed all around the country, which exactly squares with my ideas. I have only time to add that I am in great haste.
My dear Sir:—Now that I finally have a moment of peace and quiet, I’m writing to let you know about the terrible chaos we're experiencing because of these bloodthirsty rebels, most of whom are, thank God, killed or scattered. We're in a real mess; we can’t find anything to eat or drink except whiskey, and when we sit down for dinner, we have to keep both hands armed. As I write this, I’m holding a pistol in each hand and a sword in the other. I figured from the start that this would be the outcome; I see I was right because it’s not even close to being over yet. Right now, things are so chaotic that everything is at a standstill. I would have responded to your letter two weeks ago, but I didn't receive it until this morning. In fact, hardly a mail arrives safely without being robbed. Just yesterday, the mail coach from Dublin was robbed near here: they’d wisely left the bags behind to avoid issues, and luckily there were only two outside passengers with nothing for the thieves to take. Last Thursday, we got word that a gang of rebels was coming our way under the French flag; however, they had no colors or drums, just bagpipes. Immediately, everyone in town, including women and children, rushed out to meet them. We quickly realized our numbers were way too small, and we were too close to consider retreating. Fear was written on every face, but we pressed on, and by the time half of our small group had been killed, we started to feel energized again. Fortunately, the rebels only had pistols, cutlasses, and pikes, and since we had plenty of guns and ammo, we dispatched them all. Not a single one escaped, except for a few who drowned in a nearby bog; before long, there was nothing but silence. Their uniforms were all different colors, mostly green. After the fight, we went to search through the sort of camp they had left behind. All we found were a few headless pikes, a load of empty bottles filled with water, and a batch of French commissions filled out with Irish names. Troops are now stationed all over the country, which aligns perfectly with my ideas. I only have time to add that I’m in a great hurry.
“P. S.—If you do not receive this, of course it must have miscarried: therefore I beg you will write and let me know.”
“P. S.—If you don’t receive this, it must have gotten lost: so please write and let me know.”
Miss Edgeworth says, further, that “many bulls, reputed to be bred and born in Ireland, are of foreign extraction; and many more, supposed to be unrivalled in their kind, may be matched in all their capital points.” To prove this, she cites numerous examples of well-known bulls, with their foreign prototypes, not only English and Continental, but even Oriental and ancient. Among the parallels of familiar bulls to be found nearer our American home since the skillful defender of Erin’s naïveté wrote her Essay, one of the best is an economical method of erecting a new jail:—
Miss Edgeworth goes on to say that "many bulls, thought to be bred and born in Ireland, actually have foreign origins; and many more, believed to be unmatched in their quality, can be compared on all their key traits." To support this, she provides several examples of famous bulls alongside their foreign counterparts, not just from England and Europe, but even from the East and ancient times. Among the examples of well-known bulls that have come to light closer to our American home since the skilled advocate of Ireland's simplicity wrote her Essay, one of the best is an economical way of building a new jail:—
The following resolutions were passed by the Board of Councilmen in Canton, Mississippi:—
The following resolutions were approved by the City Council in Canton, Mississippi:—
1. Resolved, by this Council, that we build a new Jail.
1. Resolved, by this Council, that we construct a new jail.
2. Resolved, that the new Jail be built out of the materials of the old Jail.
2. Resolved, that the new jail will be constructed using materials from the old jail.
3. Resolved, that the old Jail be used until the new Jail is finished.
3. Resolved, that the old jail will be used until the new jail is completed.
254It was a Frenchman who, in making a classified catalogue of books, placed Miss Edgeworth’s Essay in the list of works on Natural History; and it was a Scotchman who, having purchased a copy of it, pronounced her “a puir silly body, to write a book on bulls, and no ane word o’ horned cattle in it a’, forbye the bit beastie [the vignette] at the beginning.” Examples from the common walks of life and from periodical literature may readily be multiplied to show that these phraseological peculiarities are not to be exclusively attributed to Ireland. But if we adopt Coleridge’s definition, which is, that “a bull consists in a mental juxtaposition of incongruous ideas, with the sensation, but without the sense, of connection,” we shall find frequent instances of its occurrence among standard authors. Take the following blunders, for examples:—
254 It was a Frenchman who, while creating a classified catalog of books, listed Miss Edgeworth’s Essay among works on Natural History; and it was a Scotsman who, after buying a copy of it, called her “a poor silly person for writing a book about bulls, with not a single word about horned cattle in it, except for the little creature [the vignette] at the beginning.” We can easily find more examples from everyday life and from periodical literature that show these phrasing quirks aren’t solely limited to Ireland. But if we use Coleridge’s definition, which states that “a bull consists in a mental juxtaposition of incongruous ideas, with the sensation, but without the sense, of connection,” we will see many examples of it occurring among respected authors. Here are some blunders, for instance:—
Swift, being an Irishman, of course abounds in blunders, some of them of the most ludicrous character; but we should hardly expect to find in the elegant Addison, the model of classical English, such a singular inaccuracy as the following:—
Swift, being Irish, is full of mistakes, some of which are quite ridiculous; however, we wouldn’t really expect to see such a peculiar error in the graceful Addison, the example of classic English, as the following:—
He must have seen in a blaze of blinding light (this is “ipsis Hibernis Hibernior”) the vanity and evil, the folly and madness, of the worldly or selfish, and the grandeur and truth of the disinterested and Christian life.—Gilfillan’s Bards of the Bible.
He must have seen in a blaze of blinding light (this is “ipsis Hibernis Hibernior”) the vanity and evil, the folly and madness, of the worldly or selfish, and the greatness and truth of the selfless and Christian life.—Gilfillan’s Bards of the Bible.
The real and peculiar magnificence of St. Petersburgh consists in thus sailing apparently upon the bosom of the ocean, into a city of palaces.—Sedgwick’s Letters from the Baltic.
The true and unique beauty of St. Petersburg lies in apparently sailing on the surface of the ocean, into a city of palaces.—Sedgwick’s Letters from the Baltic.
The astonished Yahoo, smoking, as well as he could, a cigar, with which he had filled all his pockets.—Warren’s Ten Thousand a Year.
The amazed Yahoo, trying his best to smoke a cigar, which he had stuffed into all his pockets.—Warren’s Ten Thousand a Year.
255The following specimens are from the works of Dr. Johnson:—
255The following examples are from the works of Dr. Johnson:—
Every monumental inscription should be in Latin; for that being a dead language, it will always live.
Every major inscription should be in Latin; since it's a dead language, it will always live.
Shakspeare has not only shown human nature as it is, but as it would be found in situations to which it cannot be exposed.
Shakespeare has not only shown human nature as it is, but as it would be found in situations to which it cannot be exposed.
These observations were made by favor of a contrary wind.
These observations were made with the help of a favorable wind.
The next two are from Pope:—
The next two are from Pope:—
Shakspeare says,—
Shakespeare says,—
In the Irish Bank-bill passed by Parliament in June, 1808, is a clause providing that the profits shall be equally divided and the residue go to the Governor.
In the Irish Bank bill approved by Parliament in June 1808, there's a clause stating that the profits shall be equally divided and the remaining amount go to the Governor.
Sir Richard Steele, being asked why his countrymen were so addicted to making bulls, said he believed there must be something in the air of Ireland, adding, “I dare say if an Englishman were born there he would do the same.”
Sir Richard Steele, when asked why his fellow countrymen were so prone to making mistakes, said he thought there must be something in the air of Ireland, adding, “I bet if an Englishman were born there, he would do the same.”
Mr. Cunningham, to whom we are indebted for the interesting notes to Johnson’s “Lives of the Poets,” pronounces his author the most distinguished of his cotemporaries.
Mr. Cunningham, to whom we owe our thanks for the insightful notes to Johnson’s “Lives of the Poets,” calls his author the most distinguished of his contemporaries.
256Sir Walter Scott perpetrates a curious blunder in one of his novels, in making certain of his characters behold a sunset over the waters of a seaport on the eastern coast of Scotland.
256Sir Walter Scott makes an interesting mistake in one of his novels by having some of his characters watch a sunset over the waters of a seaport on the eastern coast of Scotland.
The following occurs in Dr. Latham’s English Language. Speaking of the genitive or possessive case, he says,—
The following occurs in Dr. Latham’s English Language. Talking about the genitive or possessive case, he says,—
“In the plural number, however, it is rare; so rare, indeed, that whenever the plural ends in s (as it always does) there is no genitive.”
“In the plural form, however, it is rare; so rare, in fact, that whenever the plural ends in s (which it always does), there is no genitive.”
Byron says,—
Byron says—
(He meant a palace on one hand, and a prison on the other.)
(He meant a palace on one hand and a prison on the other.)
Dr. Johnson, in his Dictionary, defines a garret as “a room on the highest floor in the house,” and a cock-loft as “the room over the garret.”
Dr. Johnson, in his Dictionary, defines a garret as “a room on the highest floor in the house,” and a cock-loft as “the room over the garret.”
For the sake of comparison, we recur to the favorite pasture of the genuine thorough-bred animal:—
For the sake of comparison, we return to the favorite pasture of the true thoroughbred animal:—
An Irish member of Parliament, speaking of a certain minister’s well-known love of money, observed, “Let not the honorable member express a contempt for money,—for if there is any one office that glitters in the eyes of the honorable member, it is that of purse-bearer: a pension to him is a compendium of all the cardinal virtues. All his statesmanship is comprehended in the art of taxing; and for good, better, and best, in the scale of human nature, he invariably reads pence, shillings, and pounds. I verily believe,” continued the orator, rising to the height of his conception, “that if the honorable gentleman were an undertaker, it would be the delight of his heart to see all mankind seized with a common mortality, that he might have the benefit of the general burial, and provide scarfs and hat-bands for the survivors.”
An Irish member of Parliament, commenting on a certain minister's well-known love of money, said, “Let not the honorable member show disdain for money—because if there's any position that sparkles in the eyes of the honorable member, it’s that of purse-bearer: a pension for him is a summary of all the cardinal virtues. All his political skills revolve around the art of taxation, and when it comes to good, better, and best in human nature, he always thinks in terms of pennies, shillings, and pounds. I truly believe,” the speaker continued, rising to the peak of his argument, “that if the honorable gentleman were an undertaker, it would be his greatest joy to see all of humanity struck by a common death, just so he could benefit from mass burials and supply scarves and armbands for the survivors.”
The manager of a provincial theatre, finding upon one occasion but three persons in attendance, made the following address:—“Ladies and gentlemen—as there is nobody here, I’ll dismiss you all. The performances of this night will not be performed; but they will be repeated to-morrow evening.”
The manager of a local theater, noticing just three people in the audience one night, said: “Ladies and gentlemen—since there’s nobody here, I’ll let you all go. Tonight's performances will not take place; however, they will be repeated tomorrow evening.”
257A Hibernian gentleman, when told by his nephew that he had just entered college with a view to the church, said, “I hope that I may live to hear you preach my funeral sermon.”
257A gentleman from Ireland, when told by his nephew that he had just started college to study for the church, said, “I hope I live to hear you preach at my funeral.”
An Irishman, quarrelling with an Englishman, told him if he didn’t hold his tongue, he would break his impenetrable head, and let the brains out of his empty skull.
An Irishman, arguing with an Englishman, told him that if he didn't shut up, he would crack his hard head open and spill the brains out of his empty skull.
“My dear, come in and go to bed,” said the wife of a jolly son of Erin, who had just returned from the fair in a decidedly how-come-you-so state: “you must be dreadful tired, sure, with your long walk of six miles.” “Arrah! get away with your nonsense,” said Pat: “it wasn’t the length of the way, at all, that fatigued me: ’twas the breadth of it.”
“My dear, come in and go to bed,” said the wife of a cheerful Irishman, who had just returned from the fair in a pretty tipsy state. “You must be really tired after your long six-mile walk.” “Oh, stop with your nonsense,” said Pat. “It wasn’t the length of the journey that wore me out; it was the breadth of it.”
A poor Irishman offered an old saucepan for sale. His children gathered around him and inquired why he parted with it. “Ah, me honeys,” he answered, “I would not be afther parting with it but for a little money to buy something to put in it.”
A poor Irishman tried to sell an old saucepan. His kids gathered around him and asked why he was selling it. “Oh, my darlings,” he said, “I wouldn’t be selling it if I didn’t need some money to buy something to cook in it.”
A young Irishman who had married when about nineteen years of age, complaining of the difficulties to which his early marriage subjected him, said he would never marry so young again if he lived to be as ould as Methuselah.
A young Irishman who got married when he was about nineteen, complaining about the challenges his early marriage brought him, said he would never marry so young again, even if he lived to be as old as Methuselah.
In an Irish provincial paper is the following notice:—Whereas Patrick O’Connor lately left his lodgings, this is to give notice that if he does not return immediately and pay for the same, he will be advertised.
In an Irish local newspaper, there’s this notice:—Since Patrick O’Connor recently moved out of his place, this is to inform him that if he doesn’t come back right away and settle his bill, he will be publicly announced.
“Has your sister got a son or a daughter?” asked an Irishman of a friend. “Upon my life,” was the reply, “I don’t know yet whether I’m an uncle or aunt.”
“Does your sister have a son or a daughter?” asked an Irishman to a friend. “Honestly,” was the reply, “I still don’t know if I’m an uncle or aunt.”
“I was going,” said an Irishman, “over Westminster Bridge the other day, and I met Pat Hewins. ‘Hewins,’ says I, ‘how are you?’ ‘Pretty well,’ says he, ‘thank you, Donnelly.’ ‘Donnelly!’ says I: ‘that’s not my name.’ ‘Faith, no more is mine Hewins,’ says he. So we looked at each other again, and sure it turned out to be nayther of us; and where’s the bull of that, now?”
“I was walking,” said an Irishman, “over Westminster Bridge the other day, and I ran into Pat Hewins. ‘Hewins,’ I said, ‘how are you?’ ‘Pretty well,’ he replied, ‘thank you, Donnelly.’ ‘Donnelly!’ I said: ‘that’s not my name.’ ‘Well, it’s not mine either, it’s Hewins,’ he said. So we looked at each other again, and it turned out that neither of us was right; and what’s the deal with that, now?”
258“India, my boy,” said an Irish officer to a friend on his arrival at Calcutta, “is the finest climate under the sun; but a lot of young fellows come out here and they drink and they eat, and they drink and they die: and then they write home to their parents a pack of lies, and say it’s the climate that has killed them.”
258“India, my friend,” said an Irish officer to a buddy when he arrived in Calcutta, “has the best climate anywhere; but a lot of young guys come out here, and they drink and eat, and they drink and die: and then they write home to their parents with a bunch of excuses, claiming it’s the climate that killed them.”
In the perusal of a very solid book on the progress of the ecclesiastical differences of Ireland, written by a native of that country, after a good deal of tedious and vexatious matter, the reader’s complacency is restored by an artless statement how an eminent person “abandoned the errors of the church of Rome, and adopted those of the church of England.”
In reading a very substantial book about the progress of the church-related differences in Ireland, written by someone from that country, after going through a lot of boring and frustrating details, the reader's satisfaction is restored by a straightforward remark about how a well-known figure “ditched the mistakes of the Roman Catholic Church and embraced those of the Church of England.”
Here is an American Hibernicism, which is entitled to full recognition:—Among the things that Wells & Fargo’s Express is not responsible for as carriers is one couched in the following language in their regulations: “Not for any loss or damage by fire, the acts of God, or of Indians, or any other public enemies of the government.”
Here is an American Hibernicism that deserves full recognition: Among the things that Wells & Fargo’s Express isn’t responsible for as carriers is stated in their regulations: “Not for any loss or damage by fire, the acts of God, or by Indigenous people, or any other public enemies of the government.”
George Selwyn once declared in company that a lady could not write a letter without adding a postscript. A lady present replied, “The next letter that you receive from me, Mr. Selwyn, will prove that you are wrong.” Accordingly he received one from her the next day, in which, after her signature was the following:—
George Selwyn once said in a gathering that a woman couldn't write a letter without including a postscript. A woman there responded, “The next letter you get from me, Mr. Selwyn, will show you’re mistaken.” Sure enough, he got one from her the next day, which had the following after her signature:—
“P. S. Who is right, now, you or I?”
“P. S. Who's right now, you or me?”
The two subjoined parliamentary utterances are worthy to have emanated from Sir Boyle Roche:—
The two attached statements from Parliament are worthy of being attributed to Sir Boyle Roche:—
“Mr. Speaker, I boldly answer in the affirmative—No.”
“Mr. Speaker, I confidently respond with a no.”
“Mr. Speaker, if I have any prejudice against the honorable member, it is in his favor.”
“Mr. Speaker, if I have any bias against the honorable member, it’s on his side.”
A PAIR OF BULLS.
Blunders.
SLIPS OF THE PRESS.
Lord Brougham was fond of relating an instance which was no joke to the victim of it. A bishop, at one of his country visitations, found occasion to complain of the deplorable state of a certain church, the roof of which was evidently anything but water-tight; after rating those concerned for their neglect, his lordship finished by declaring emphatically that he would not visit the damp old church again until it was put in decent order. His horror may be imagined when he discovered himself reported in the local journal as having declared: “I shall not visit this damned old church again.” The bishop lost no time in calling the editor’s attention to the mistake; whereupon that worthy set himself right with his readers by stating that he willingly gave publicity to his lordship’s explanation, but he had every confidence in the accuracy of his reporter. The editor of an evening paper could hardly have had similar confidence in his subordinate when the latter caused his journal to record that a prisoner had been sentenced to “four months imprisonment in the House of Commons!” In this case, we fancy the reporter must have been in the same exhilarated condition as his American brother, who ended his account of a city banquet with the frank admission: “It is not distinctly remembered by anybody present who made the last speech!”
Lord Brougham loved to share a story that was no laughing matter for the person affected. During one of his country visits, a bishop complained about the terrible condition of a certain church, whose roof was clearly far from water-tight. After scolding those responsible for their neglect, he emphatically declared that he wouldn’t visit the damp old church again until it was in decent shape. You can imagine his horror when he found himself quoted in the local newspaper as saying, “I shall not visit this damned old church again.” The bishop quickly brought the error to the editor's attention; in response, the editor stated that he was happy to publish the bishop’s clarification, but he trusted his reporter’s accuracy entirely. The editor of an evening paper likely didn’t share the same confidence in his staff when they reported that a prisoner had been sentenced to “four months imprisonment in the House of Commons!” In this instance, it seems the reporter might have been as tipsy as his American counterpart, who concluded his account of a city banquet with the honest remark: “It is not distinctly remembered by anybody present who made the last speech!”
In a poem on the “Milton Gallery,” by Amos Cottle, the poet, describing the pictures of Fuseli, says:—
In a poem about the "Milton Gallery," by Amos Cottle, the poet describes Fuseli's paintings, saying:—
Ulysses steered to the larboard to shun Charybdis, but the compositor makes him get upon the back of the bullock, the left one in the drove! After all, however, he only interprets the text literally. “Steer,” as a substantive, has no other meaning 260than bullock. The substantive of the verb “to steer” is steerage. “He that hath the steerage of my course,” says Shakspeare. The compositor evidently understood that Ulysses rode an ox; he would hardly else have spelt Steer with a capital S.
Ulysses turned to the left to avoid Charybdis, but the printer has him get on the back of the bull, the left one from the herd! Still, he’s just taking the text at face value. “Steer” as a noun only means bull. The noun form of the verb “to steer” is steerage. “He who has the steerage of my course,” says Shakespeare. The printer clearly thought that Ulysses was riding an ox; otherwise, he wouldn’t have capitalized Steer. 260
The following paragraphs, intended to have been printed separately, in a Paris evening paper, were by some blunder so arranged that they read consecutively:—
The following paragraphs, which were meant to be printed separately in a Paris evening paper, were somehow misarranged so that they read one after the other:—
Doctor X. has been appointed head physician to the Hospital de la Charite. Orders have been issued by the authorities for the immediate extension of the Cemetery of Mont Parnasse. The works are being executed with the utmost dispatch.
Doctor X has been appointed head physician at the Hospital de la Charité. The authorities have issued orders for the immediate expansion of the Mont Parnasse Cemetery. The work is being carried out as quickly as possible.
The old story of Dr. Mudge furnishes one of the most curious cases of typographical accident on record. The Doctor had been presented with a gold-headed cane, and the same week a patent pig-killing and sausage-making machine had been tried at a factory in the place of which he was pastor. The writer of a report of the presentation, and a description of the machine, for the local paper, is thus made to “mix things miscellaneously:”—
The old story of Dr. Mudge provides one of the most interesting cases of a typographical error in history. The Doctor was given a gold-headed cane, and that same week, a patent pig-killing and sausage-making machine was tested at a factory where he served as pastor. The person writing a report about the presentation and a description of the machine for the local newspaper ended up “mixing things up randomly:”
“The inconsiderate Caxtonian who made up the forms of the paper, got the two locals mixed up in a frightful manner; and when we went to press, something like this was the appalling result: Several of the Rev. Dr. Mudge’s friends called upon him yesterday, and after a brief conversation, the unsuspicious pig was seized by the hind legs, and slid along a beam until he reached the hot water tank. His friends explained the object of their visit, and presented him with a very handsome gold-headed butcher, who grabbed him by the tail, swung him round, slit his throat from ear to ear, and in less than a minute the carcass was in the water. Thereupon he came forward, and said that there were times when the feelings overpowered one; and for that reason he would not attempt to do more than thank those around him for the manner in which such a huge animal was cut into fragments was simply astonishing. The 261Doctor concluded his remarks when the machine seized him, and in less time than it takes to write it, the pig was cut into fragments and worked up into delicious sausages. The occasion will long be remembered by the Doctor’s friends as one of the most delightful of their lives. The best pieces can be procured for tenpence a pound; and we are sure that those who have sat so long under his ministry will rejoice that he has been treated so handsomely.”
“The thoughtless person at Caxton who created the forms for the paper mixed up the two locals in a shocking way; and when we went to press, this was the terrible result: Several of Rev. Dr. Mudge’s friends visited him yesterday, and after a brief chat, the unsuspecting pig was grabbed by the hind legs and slid along a beam until it reached the hot water tank. His friends explained why they were there and presented him with a very nice gold-headed butcher, who seized the pig by the tail, swung it around, cut its throat from ear to ear, and in less than a minute, the carcass was in the water. Then he stepped forward and said that there are moments when feelings take over; and because of that, he wouldn’t try to do more than thank everyone for the way such a huge animal was cut into pieces, which was simply amazing. The 261Doctor wrapped up his comments just as the machine took hold of him, and in less time than it takes to write it, the pig was chopped into pieces and made into delicious sausages. This occasion will be long remembered by the Doctor’s friends as one of the best experiences of their lives. The best cuts can be bought for tenpence a pound; and we’re sure that those who have sat under his ministry for so long will be glad he was treated so well.”
SLIPS OF THE TELEGRAPH.
The Prior of the Dominican Monastery of Voreppe, in France, recently received the following telegram:—“Father Ligier is dead (est mort); we shall arrive by train to-morrow, at three.—Laboree.” The ecclesiastic, being convinced that the deceased, who was highly esteemed in the locality, had selected it for his last resting-place, made every preparation. A grave was dug, a hearse provided, and with the monks, a sorrowing crowd waited at the station for the train. It arrived, and, to the astonishment of every one, the supposed defunct alighted, well and hearty. The matter was soon explained. The reverend father, returning from a visit to Rome, where he had been accompanied by the priest Laboree, stopped to visit some monks at Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne, and requested his companion to telegraph the return to his monastery. The message sent was: “Father Ligier and I (et moi) will arrive,” &c. The clerks inadvertently changed the et moi into est mort, with what result has already been told.
The Prior of the Dominican Monastery of Voreppe, in France, recently received this telegram: “Father Ligier is dead (is dead); we will arrive by train tomorrow at three.—Work.” The priest, convinced that the deceased, who was highly respected in the area, had chosen it as his final resting place, made all the necessary arrangements. They dug a grave, prepared a hearse, and along with the monks, a grieving crowd waited at the station for the train. When it arrived, everyone was shocked to see the supposedly deceased man step off, alive and well. The situation was quickly explained. The reverend father, returning from a visit to Rome with Priest Laboree, had stopped to visit some monks at Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne and asked his companion to send a message about their return to the monastery. The message meant to say: “Father Ligier and I (and me) will arrive,” but the clerks accidentally changed the and me to is dead, leading to the confusion that followed.
A firm in Cincinnati telegraphed to a correspondent in Cleveland, as follows:—“Cranberries rising. Send immediately one hundred barrels per Simmons.” Mr. Simmons was the agent of the Cincinnati house. The telegraph ran the last two words together, and shortly after, the firm were astonished to find delivered at their store one hundred barrels of persimmons.
A company in Cincinnati sent a telegram to a contact in Cleveland saying, “Cranberries going up. Send one hundred barrels right away per Simmons.” Mr. Simmons was the representative of the Cincinnati company. The telegraph combined the last two words, and soon after, the firm was shocked to receive one hundred barrels of persimmons at their store.
“SERIAL” INCONSISTENCY.
In Mrs. Oliphant’s interesting story of “Ombra,” there is a curious contradiction between the end of Chapter XLV. and the beginning of Chapter XLVI. A domestic picture is given, an interior, with the characters thus disposed:—
In Mrs. Oliphant’s intriguing story “Ombra,” there’s an interesting contradiction between the end of Chapter XLV. and the beginning of Chapter XLVI. We see a domestic scene, an interior, with the characters arranged like this:—
“One evening, when Kate was at home, and, as usual, abstracted over a book in a corner; when the Berties were in full possession, one bending over Ombra at the piano, one talking earnestly to her mother, Francesca suddenly threw the door open, with a vehemence quite unusual to her, and without a word of warning—without even the announcement of his name to put them on their guard—Mr. Courtenay walked into the room.”
“One evening, when Kate was at home, and, as usual, lost in a book in a corner; while the Berties had full control of the situation, one leaning over Ombra at the piano, and the other talking seriously to her mother, Francesca suddenly threw the door open with an intensity that was quite unlike her, and without any warning—without even announcing his name to prepare them—Mr. Courtenay walked into the room.”
Thus ends Chapter XLV., and thus opens Chapter XLVI.:—
Thus ends Chapter 45, and thus opens Chapter 46:—
“The scene which Mr. Courtenay saw when he walked in suddenly to Mrs. Anderson’s drawing-room, was one so different in every way from what he had expected that he was for the first moment as much taken aback as any of the company. * * * The drawing-room, which looked out on the Lung’ Arno, was not small, but it was rather low—not much more than an entresol. There was a bright wood-fire on the hearth, and near it, with a couple of candles on a small table by her side, sat Kate, distinctly isolated from the rest, and working diligently, scarcely raising her eyes from her needle-work. The centre-table was drawn a little aside, for Ombra had found it too warm in front of the fire; and about this the other four were grouped—Mrs. Anderson, working too, was talking to one of the young men; the other was holding silk, which Ombra was winding; a thorough English domestic party—such a family group as should have gladdened virtuous eyes to see. Mr. Courtenay looked at it with indescribable surprise.”
“The scene that Mr. Courtenay encountered when he walked into Mrs. Anderson’s drawing room was so different from what he had expected that, for the first moment, he was just as stunned as anyone else in the room. * * * The drawing room, which overlooked the Lung’ Arno, wasn’t small but was rather low—not much more than a mezzanine. There was a bright wood fire on the hearth, and sitting near it, with a couple of candles on a small table beside her, was Kate, clearly separated from the others, working diligently and barely lifting her eyes from her needlework. The center table was pushed aside a bit because Ombra had found it too warm in front of the fire, and the other four were gathered around this. Mrs. Anderson, also working, was talking to one of the young men; the other was holding silk for Ombra to wind; a truly English domestic scene—a family group that would have delighted virtuous eyes. Mr. Courtenay looked at it with indescribable surprise.”
MISTAKES OF MISAPPREHENSION.
Soon after Louis XIV. appointed Bossuet, Bishop of Meaux, he inquired how the citizens liked their new Bishop, to which 263they answered, doubtfully: “Pretty well.” “But,” asked his Majesty, “what fault do you find with him?” “To say the truth,” they replied, “we should have preferred a Bishop who had finished his education; for, whenever we wait upon him, we are told that he is at his studies.”
Soon after Louis XIV appointed Bossuet, Bishop of Meaux, he asked how the citizens felt about their new Bishop. They replied, somewhat uncertainly, “Pretty well.” “But,” asked his Majesty, “what do you find wrong with him?” “To be honest,” they responded, “we would have preferred a Bishop who had completed his education; because whenever we visit him, we are told that he is studying.”
There lived in the west of England, a few years since, an enthusiastic geologist, who was presiding judge of the Quarter Sessions. A farmer, who had seen him presiding on the bench, overtook him shortly afterwards, while seated by the roadside on a heap of stones, which he was busily breaking in search of fossils. The farmer reined up his horse, gazed at him for a minute, shook his head in commiseration of the mutability of human things, then exclaimed, in mingled tones of pity and surprise: “What, your Honor! be you come to this a’ ready?”
A few years ago, in the west of England, there lived an enthusiastic geologist who was the presiding judge of the Quarter Sessions. A farmer, who had seen him in court, came across him shortly afterward while he was sitting by the roadside breaking stones in search of fossils. The farmer stopped his horse, looked at him for a moment, shook his head in sympathy at how life can change, and then exclaimed, with a mix of pity and surprise, “What, your Honor! Have you really come to this already?”
Cottle, in his Life of Coleridge, relates an essay at grooming on the part of that poet and Wordsworth. The servants being absent, the poets had attempted to stable their horse, and were almost successful. With the collar, however, a difficulty arose. After Wordsworth had relinquished as impracticable the effort to get it over the animal’s head, Coleridge tried his hand, but showed no more grooming skill than his predecessor; for, after twisting the poor horse’s neck almost to strangulation, and to the great danger of his eyes, he gave up the useless task, pronouncing that the horse’s head must have grown (gout or dropsy) since the collar was put on, for he said it was downright impossibility for such a huge os frontis to pass through so narrow a collar! Just at this moment a servant girl came up, and turning the collar upside down, slipped it off without trouble, to the great humility and wonderment of the poets, who were each satisfied afresh that there were heights of knowledge to which they had not attained.
Cottle, in his Life of Coleridge, shares a story about that poet and Wordsworth trying to groom their horse. With the servants gone, the poets attempted to stable the horse and nearly succeeded. However, they encountered a problem with the collar. After Wordsworth gave up on the impractical task of getting it over the animal’s head, Coleridge took a shot at it but demonstrated no more skill than his friend; he twisted the poor horse’s neck to the point of almost choking it and putting its eyes in danger before admitting defeat. He declared that the horse’s head must have swollen (with gout or dropsy) since the collar was put on, insisting it was impossible for such a large os frontis to fit through such a narrow collar! Just then, a servant girl approached and, flipping the collar upside down, easily slipped it off, leaving the poets both humbled and amazed, each realizing once again that there were depths of knowledge they had yet to reach.
BLUNDERS OF TRANSLATORS.
A most entertaining volume might be made from the amusing and often absurd blunders perpetrated by translators. For 264instance, Miss Cooper tells us that the person who first rendered her father’s novel, “The Spy,” into the French tongue, among other mistakes, made the following:—Readers of the Revolutionary romance will remember that the residence of the Wharton family was called “The Locusts.” The translator referred to his dictionary, and found the rendering of the word to be Les Sauterelles, “The Grasshoppers.” But when he found one of the dragoons represented as tying his horse to one of the locusts on the lawn, it would appear as if he might have been at fault. Nothing daunted, however, but taking it for granted that American grasshoppers must be of gigantic dimensions, he gravely informs his readers that the cavalryman secured his charger by fastening the bridle to one of the grasshoppers before the door, apparently standing there for that purpose.
A really entertaining book could be created from the funny and often ridiculous mistakes made by translators. For 264 example, Miss Cooper shares that the person who first translated her father’s novel, “The Spy,” into French made several errors, including one memorable mistake: Readers of the Revolutionary romance will remember that the Wharton family’s home was called “The Locusts.” The translator checked his dictionary and found that the word was translated as The Grasshoppers, meaning “The Grasshoppers.” But when he described a dragoon tying his horse to one of the locusts on the lawn, it seems he might have gotten it wrong. Undeterred, he assumed that American grasshoppers must be huge, and he seriously told his readers that the cavalryman secured his horse by tying the bridle to one of the grasshoppers in front of the house, which he seemed to think was there for that reason.
Much laughter has deservedly been raised at French littérateurs who professed to be “doctus utriusque linguæ.” Cibber’s play of “Love’s Last Shift” was translated by a Frenchman who spoke “Inglees” as “Le Dernière Chemise de l’Amour;” Congreve’s “Mourning Bride,” by another, as “L’Epouse du Matin;” and a French scholar recently included among his catalogue of works on natural history the essay on “Irish Bulls,” by the Edgeworths. Jules Janin, the great critic, in his translation of “Macbeth,” renders “Out, out, brief candle!” as “Sortez, chandelle.” And another, who traduced Shakspeare, commits an equally amusing blunder in rendering Northumberland’s famous speech in “Henry IV.” In the passage
Much laughter has rightly been directed at French writers who claimed to be “learned in both languages.” Cibber’s play “Love’s Last Shift” was translated by a Frenchman who spoke “Inglees” as “The Last Shirt of Love;” Congreve’s “Mourning Bride,” by another, as “The Morning Wife;” and a French scholar recently included among his list of works on natural history the essay on “Irish Bulls” by the Edgeworths. Jules Janin, the renowned critic, in his translation of “Macbeth,” translates “Out, out, brief candle!” as “Get out, candle.” And another, who traduced Shakspeare, makes an equally amusing mistake in translating Northumberland’s famous speech in “Henry IV.” In the passage
the words italicized are rendered, “ainsi douleur! va-t’en!”—“so grief, be off with you!” Voltaire did no better with his translations of several of Shakspeare’s plays; in one of which the “myriad-minded” makes a character renounce all claim to a doubtful inheritance, with an avowed resolution to carve for 265himself a fortune with his sword. Voltaire put it in French, which, retranslated, reads, “What care I for lands? With my sword I will make a fortune cutting meat.”
the words italicized are rendered, “such pain! go away!”—“so grief, get lost!” Voltaire didn’t do any better with his translations of several of Shakespeare’s plays; in one of them, the “myriad-minded” makes a character give up any claim to a questionable inheritance, with a clear intention to carve for himself a fortune with his sword. Voltaire translated this into French, which, when retranslated, reads, “What do I care about land? With my sword, I’ll make a fortune slicing meat.”
The late centennial celebration of Shakspeare’s birthday in England called forth numerous publications relating to the works and times of the immortal dramatist. Among them was a new translation of “Hamlet,” by the Chevalier de Chatelain, who also translated Halleck’s “Alnwick Castle,” “Burns,” and “Marco Bozzaris.” Our readers are, of course, familiar with the following lines:—
The recent centennial celebration of Shakespeare's birthday in England led to many publications about the works and times of the legendary playwright. One of them was a new translation of “Hamlet” by Chevalier de Chatelain, who also translated Halleck’s “Alnwick Castle,” “Burns,” and “Marco Bozzaris.” Our readers likely know the following lines:—
The chevalier, less successful with the English than with the modern American poet, thus renders them into French:—
The knight, not as successful with the English as he is with the contemporary American poet, translates them into French:—
Some of the funniest mistranslations on record have been bequeathed by Victor Hugo. Most readers will remember his rendering of a peajacket as paletot a la purée de pois, and of the Frith of Forth as le cinquième de le quatrième.
Some of the funniest mistranslations on record have been left to us by Victor Hugo. Most readers will recall his translation of a peajacket as pea soup coat, and of the Frith of Forth as the fifth of the fourth.
The French translator of one of Sir Walter Scott’s novels, knowing nothing of that familiar name for toasted cheese, “a Welsh rabbit,” rendered it literally by “un lapin du pays de Galles,” or a rabbit of Wales, and then informed his readers in a foot-note that the lapins or rabbits of Wales have a very superior flavor, and are very tender, which cause them to be in great request in England and Scotland. A writer in the Neapolitan paper, Il Giornale della due Sicilie, was more ingenuous. He was translating from an English paper the account of a man who killed his wife by striking her with a 266poker; and at the end of his story the honest journalist, with a modesty unusual in his craft, said, “Non sappiamo per certo se questo pokero Inglese sia uno strumento domestico o bensi chirurgico”—“We are not quite certain whether this English poker [pokero] be a domestic or surgical instrument.”
The French translator of one of Sir Walter Scott’s novels, unfamiliar with the term for toasted cheese, “a Welsh rabbit,” translated it literally to “a rabbit from Wales,” or a rabbit from Wales. He then added a footnote informing his readers that the rabbits from Wales have a much better flavor and are very tender, which makes them highly sought after in England and Scotland. A writer for the Neapolitan paper, Il Giornale delle Due Sicilie, was more straightforward. He was translating an account from an English paper about a man who killed his wife by hitting her with a 266poker; and at the end of his story, the honest journalist, showing a rare modesty for his profession, said, “Non sappiamo con certezza se questo poker inglese sia uno strumento domestico o chirurgico.”—“We are not quite sure whether this English poker [pokero] is a household tool or a surgical instrument.”
In the course of the famous Tichborne trial, the claimant, when asked the meaning of laus Deo semper, said it meant “the laws of God forever, or permanently.” An answer not less ludicrous was given by a French Sir Roger, who, on being asked to translate numero Deus impare gaudet, unhesitatingly replied, “Le numéro deux se réjouit d’être impair.”
In the famous Tichborne trial, when the claimant was asked what Praise God always meant, he said it meant “the laws of God forever, or permanently.” An equally ridiculous response came from a French Sir Roger, who, when asked to translate God rejoices in odd numbers, confidently replied, “The number two is happy to be odd..”
Some of the translations of the Italian operas in the librettos, which are sold to the audience, are ludicrous enough. Take, for instance, the lines in Roberto il diavolo,—
Some of the translations of the Italian operas in the librettos that are sold to the audience are pretty ridiculous. For example, consider the lines in Roberto the Devil,—
Which some smart interpreter rendered—
Which a smart interpreter rendered—
Misquotations.
In Mr Collins’ account of Homer’s Iliad, in Blackwood’s Ancient Classics for English Readers, occurs the following:—
In Mr. Collins' description of Homer's Iliad, in Blackwood's Ancient Classics for English Readers, the following appears:—
... “The spirit horsemen who rallied the Roman line in the great fight with the Latins at Lake Regillus, the shining stars who lighted the sailors on the stormy Adriatic, and gave their names to the ship in which St. Paul was cast away.”
... “The spirit horsemen who rallied the Roman line in the great fight with the Latins at Lake Regillus, the shining stars who guided the sailors on the stormy Adriatic, and gave their names to the ship in which St. Paul was cast away.”
If the reader will take the trouble to refer to the Acts of the Apostles, xxviii. 11. he will find, that the ship of Alexandria, “whose sign was Castor and Pollux,” was not the vessel in which St. Paul was shipwrecked near Malta, but the ship in 267which he safely voyaged from the island of “the barbarous people” to Puteoli for Rome.
If the reader takes the time to check the Acts of the Apostles, xxviii. 11, they will see that the ship from Alexandria, “whose sign was Castor and Pollux,” was not the vessel that St. Paul got shipwrecked on near Malta, but the ship in 267which he successfully traveled from the island of “the barbarous people” to Puteoli for Rome.
The misquotations of Sir Walter Scott have frequently attracted attention. One of the most unpardonable occurs in The Heart of Mid-Lothian, chapter xlvii.:—
The misquotations of Sir Walter Scott have often drawn attention. One of the most unforgivable ones appears in The Heart of Mid-Lothian, chapter xlvii.:—
“The least of these considerations always inclined Butler to measures of conciliation, in so far as he could accede to them, without compromising principle; and thus our simple and unpretending heroine had the merit of those peacemakers, to whom it is pronounced as a benediction, that they shall inherit the earth.”
“The least of these considerations always led Butler to choose conciliatory measures, as long as he could agree to them without compromising his principles; and so our simple and unassuming heroine had the quality of those peacemakers, who are blessed with the promise that they shall inherit the earth.”
On turning to the gospel of Matthew, v. 9, we find that the benediction pronounced upon the peacemakers was that “they shall be called the children of God.” It is the meek who are to “inherit the earth,” (ver. 5).
On looking at the gospel of Matthew, v. 9, we see that the blessing given to the peacemakers was that “they will be called the children of God.” It is the meek who are to “inherit the earth,” (ver. 5).
Another of Scott’s blunders occurs in Ivanhoe. The date of this story “refers to a period towards the end of the reign of Richard I.” (chap. i.) Richard died in 1199. Nevertheless, Sir Walter makes the disguised Wamba style himself “a poor brother of the Order of St. Francis,” although the Order was not founded until 1210, and, of course, the saintship of the founder had a still later date.
Another of Scott’s mistakes happens in Ivanhoe. The date of this story “refers to a period towards the end of the reign of Richard I.” (chap. i.) Richard died in 1199. However, Sir Walter has the disguised Wamba refer to himself as “a poor brother of the Order of St. Francis,” even though the Order was not established until 1210, and the saintship of the founder came even later.
Again in Waverley (chap. xii.) he puts into the mouth of Baron Bradwardine the words “nor would I utterly accede to the objurgation of the younger Plinius in the fourteenth book of his Historia Naturalis.” The great Roman naturalist whose thirty-seven books on Natural History were written eighteen centuries ago, was the Elder Pliny.
Again in Waverley (chap. xii.), he has Baron Bradwardine say, “nor would I completely agree with the criticism of the younger Plinius in the fourteenth book of his Historia Naturalis.” The famous Roman naturalist who wrote thirty-seven books on Natural History eighteen centuries ago was the Elder Pliny.
Alison, in his History of Europe, speaks of the Grand Duke Constantine of Russia, the Viceroy of Poland, as the son of the emperor Paul I. and the celebrated empress Catherine. This Catherine was the mother of Paul, and wife of Peter III., Paul’s father. Constantine’s mother, i.e. Paul’s wife, was a princess of Würtemberg.
Alison, in his History of Europe, talks about Grand Duke Constantine of Russia, the Viceroy of Poland, as the son of Emperor Paul I and the famous Empress Catherine. This Catherine was the mother of Paul and the wife of Peter III, Paul’s father. Constantine’s mother, who was Paul’s wife, was a princess from Würtemberg.
268Another of Archibald’s singular errors is his translation of droit du timbre (stamp duty) into “timber duties.” This is about as sensible as his quoting with approbation from De Tocqueville the false and foolish assertion that the American people are “regardless of historical records or monuments,” and that future historians will be obliged “to write the history of the present generation from the archives of other lands.” Such ignorance of American scholarship and research and of the vigorous vitality of American Historical Societies, is unpardonable.
268Another one of Archibald’s significant mistakes is his translation of stamp duty (stamp duty) as “timber duties.” This is as absurd as his approvingly quoting De Tocqueville’s false and foolish claim that the American people are “uninterested in historical records or monuments,” and that future historians will have to “write the history of the current generation from the archives of other countries.” Such ignorance of American scholarship and research, along with the active engagement of American Historical Societies, is unforgivable.
Disraeli thus refers to a curious blunder in Nagler’s Künstler-Lexicon, concerning the artist Cruikshank:—
Disraeli mentions a peculiar mistake in Nagler’s Artist Dictionary regarding the artist Cruikshank:—
Some years ago the relative merits of George Cruikshank and his brother were contrasted in an English Review, and George was spoken of as “the real Simon Pure”—the first who had illustrated “Scenes of Life in London.” Unaware of the real significance of a quotation which has become proverbial among us, the German editor begins his memoir of Cruikshank by gravely informing us that he is an English artist “whose real name is Simon Pure!” Turning to the artists under letter P. we accordingly read, “Pure (Simon), the real name of the celebrated caricaturist, George Cruikshank.”
Some years ago, an English Review compared the relative merits of George Cruikshank and his brother, describing George as “the real Simon Pure”—the first to illustrate “Scenes of Life in London.” Unaware of the true meaning of a phrase that has become well-known among us, the German editor starts his memoir of Cruikshank by seriously telling us that he is an English artist “whose real name is Simon Pure!” When we look at the artists under the letter P, we find, “Pure (Simon), the real name of the famous caricaturist, George Cruikshank.”
This will remind some of our readers of the index which refers to Mr. Justice Best. A searcher after something or other, running his eye down the index through letter B, arrived at the reference “Best—Mr. Justice—his great mind.” Desiring to be better acquainted with the particulars of this assertion, he turned to the page referred to, and there found, to his entire satisfaction, “Mr. Justice Best said he had a great mind to commit the witness for prevarication.”
This will remind some of our readers of the index that mentions Mr. Justice Best. A person looking for something, scanning the index under the letter B, came across the entry “Best—Mr. Justice—his great mind.” Wanting to know more about this claim, he turned to the referenced page and found, much to his satisfaction, “Mr. Justice Best said he had a strong urge to commit the witness for lying.”
In the fourth canto of Don Juan, stanza CX., Byron says:
In the fourth canto of Don Juan, stanza CX., Byron writes:
Byron was mistaken in thinking his quotation referred to the sky. The line is in Southey’s Madoc, canto V., and describes fish. A note intimates that dolphins are meant.
Byron was wrong to believe his quote was about the sky. The line is from Southey’s Madoc, canto V., and it describes fish. A note suggests that it refers to dolphins.
Fabrications.
THE DESCRIPTION OF THE SAVIOUR’S PERSON.
Chalmers charges upon Huarte (a native of French Navarre) the publication (as genuine and authentic) of the Letter of Lentulus (the Proconsul of Jerusalem) to the Roman Senate, describing the person and manners of our Lord, and for which, of course, he deservedly censures him. A copy of the letter will be found in the chapter of this volume headed I. H. S.
Chalmers accuses Huarte (who is from French Navarre) of publishing the Letter of Lentulus (the Proconsul of Jerusalem) to the Roman Senate as if it were genuine and authentic, describing the character and behavior of our Lord, and for this, he rightly criticizes him. A copy of the letter can be found in the chapter of this volume titled I. H. S.
A CLEVER HOAX ON SIR WALTER SCOTT.
The following passage occurs in one of Sir Walter Scott’s letters to Southey, written in September, 1810:—
The following passage is from one of Sir Walter Scott’s letters to Southey, written in September 1810:—
A witty rogue, the other day, who sent me a letter subscribed “Detector,” proved me guilty of stealing a passage from one of Vida’s Latin poems, which I had never seen or heard of; yet there was so strong a general resemblance as fairly to authorize “Detector’s” suspicion.
A clever trickster recently sent me a letter signed “Detector,” claiming I was guilty of stealing a line from one of Vida’s Latin poems, which I had never encountered; however, there was such a strong overall similarity that it almost justified “Detector’s” suspicion.
Lockhart remarks thereupon:—
Lockhart comments on that:—
The lines of Vida which “Detector” had enclosed to Scott, as the obvious original of the address to “Woman,” in Marmion, closing with—
The lines of Vida that “Detector” had quoted to Scott, as the clear original of the address to “Woman,” in Marmion, ending with—
end as follows: and it must be owned that if Vida had really written them, a more extraordinary example of casual coincidence could never have been pointed out.
end as follows: and it must be acknowledged that if Vida had actually written them, a more remarkable example of random coincidence could never have been highlighted.
“Detector’s” reference is Vida ad Eranen, El. ii. v. 21; but it is almost needless to add there are no such lines, and no piece bearing such a title in Vida’s works.
“Detector’s” reference is Vida ad Eranen, El. ii. v. 21; but it is almost unnecessary to mention that there are no such lines, and no piece with that title in Vida’s works.
It was afterwards ascertained that the waggish author of this hoax was a Cambridge scholar named Drury.
It was later confirmed that the playful author of this hoax was a Cambridge scholar named Drury.
THE MOON HOAX.
The authorship of the “Moon Hoax,” an elaborate description (which was first printed in the New York Sun) of men, animals, &c., purporting to have been discovered in the moon by Sir John Herschel, is now disputed. Until recently it was conceded to R. A. Locke, now dead; but in the Budget of Paradoxes, by Professor De Morgan, the authorship is confidently ascribed to M. Nicollet, a French savant, once well known in this country, and employed by the government in the scientific exploration of the West. He died in the government service. Professor De Morgan writes as follows:—“There is no doubt that it (the ‘Moon Hoax’) was produced in the United States by M. Nicollet, an astronomer of Paris, and a fugitive of some kind. About him I have heard two stories. First, that he fled to America with funds not his own, and that this book was a mere device to raise the wind. Secondly, that he was a protegé of Laplace, and of the Polignac party, and also an outspoken man. The moon story was written and sent to France, with the intention of entrapping M. Arago—Nicollet’s especial foe—in the belief of it.” It seems not to have occurred to the sage and critical professor that a man who could steal funds, would have little scruple about stealing a literary production. It is, hence, more than probable that Nicollet translated the article immediately after its appearance in the New York Sun, and afterwards sent it to France as his own.
The authorship of the “Moon Hoax,” an elaborate description (first published in the New York Sun) of men, animals, etc., supposedly discovered on the moon by Sir John Herschel, is now under dispute. Until recently, it was accepted to be by R. A. Locke, who has since passed away; however, in the Budget of Paradoxes by Professor De Morgan, the authorship is confidently attributed to M. Nicollet, a French scholar who was once well-known in this country and was employed by the government for scientific exploration in the West. He died while in government service. Professor De Morgan writes: “There is no doubt that it (the ‘Moon Hoax’) was produced in the United States by M. Nicollet, an astronomer from Paris, and a fugitive of some sort. I've heard two stories about him. First, that he escaped to America with funds that weren't his, and that this book was just a way to make money. Second, that he was a protégé of Laplace and the Polignac group, and was also quite outspoken. The moon story was written and sent to France with the intention of deceiving M. Arago—Nicollet’s particular rival—into believing it.” It seems that the wise and critical professor didn’t consider that a man who could steal funds would likely have no qualms about stealing a literary work. Therefore, it’s quite possible that Nicollet translated the article soon after it appeared in the New York Sun, and then sent it to France as his own.
A LITERARY SELL.
A story is told in literary circles in New York of an enthusiastic Carlyle Club of ladies and gentlemen of Cambridge and Boston, who meet periodically to read their chosen prophet and worship at his shrine. One of them, not imbued with sufficient reverence to teach him better, feloniously contrived to have the reader on a certain evening insert something of his own composition into the reading, as though it came from the printed page and Carlyle’s hand. The interpolation was as follows:—“Word-spluttering organisms, in whatever place—not with Plutarchean comparison, apologies, nay rather, without any such apologies—but born into the world to say the thought that is in them—antiphoreal, too, in the main—butchers, bakers, and candlestick-makers; men, women, pedants. Verily, with you, too, it’s now or never.” This paragraph produced great applause among the devotees of Carlyle. The leader of the Club especially, a learned and metaphysical pundit, who is the great American apostle of Carlyle, said nothing Carlyle had ever written was more representative and happy. The actual author of it attempted to ask some questions about it, and elicit explanations. These were not wanting, and, where they failed, the stupidity of the questioner was the substitute presumption, delicately hinted. It reminds us of Dr. Franklin’s incident in his life of Abraham, which he used to read off with great gravity, apparently from an open Bible, though actually from his own memory. This parable is probably the most perfect imitation of Scripture style extant.
A story circulates among literary circles in New York about an enthusiastic Carlyle Club made up of ladies and gentlemen from Cambridge and Boston, who meet regularly to read their chosen prophet and pay homage at his shrine. One of them, lacking enough reverence to know better, sneakily arranged for the reader on a certain evening to insert something he had written himself into the reading, as if it came from the printed page and Carlyle’s hand. The insertion was as follows:—“Word-spluttering organisms, wherever they may be—not with Plutarchean comparisons or apologies, rather, without any such excuses—but born into the world to express the thoughts within them—antiphoreal, mostly—butchers, bakers, and candlestick-makers; men, women, pedants. Truly, with you, it’s now or never.” This paragraph received great applause from the Carlyle devotees. The club leader, a learned and philosophical expert, who is the prominent American advocate of Carlyle, said nothing Carlyle had ever written was more representative or effective. The actual author of the paragraph tried to ask some questions about it and seek explanations. These were forthcoming, and when they weren't, the questioner's ignorance was subtly suggested. It reminds us of Dr. Franklin's story about Abraham, which he used to read with great seriousness, apparently from an open Bible, though it was actually from his memory. This parable is probably the most perfect imitation of Scripture style that exists.
MRS. HEMANS’s “FORGERIES.”
A gentleman having requested Mrs. Hemans to furnish him with some authorities from the old English writers for the use of the word “barb,” as applied to a steed, she very shortly supplied him with the following imitations, which she was in the habit of calling her “forgeries.” The mystification succeeded completely, and was not discovered for some time afterwards:—
A guy asked Mrs. Hemans to provide some examples from old English writers for the use of the word "barb" when talking about a horse, and she quickly gave him the following imitations, which she liked to call her “forgeries.” The trick worked perfectly and went unnoticed for a while:—
No sooner had the pearl-shedding fingers of the young Aurora tremulously unlocked the oriental portals of the golden horizon, than the graceful flower of chivalry, and the bright cynosure of ladies eyes—he of the dazzling breast-plate and swanlike plume—sprang impatiently from the couch of slumber, and eagerly mounted the noble barb presented to him by the Emperor of Aspromontania.
No sooner had the young Aurora's pearl-like fingers gently opened the eastern gates of the golden horizon than the graceful embodiment of chivalry, the shining star of women's admiration—he with the dazzling breastplate and elegant plume—jumped impatiently from his bed and eagerly got on the fine horse given to him by the Emperor of Aspromontania.
Why, he can heel the lavolt and wind a fiery barb as well as any gallant in Christendom. He’s the very pink and mirror of accomplishment.
Why, he can follow commands and create a fiery barb just as well as any nobleman in the world. He’s the very embodiment of achievement.
SHERIDAN’S GREEK.
In Anecdotes of Impudence, we find this curious story:—
In Anecdotes of Impudence, we discover this intriguing story:—
Lord Belgrave having clenched a speech in the House of Commons with a long Greek quotation, Sheridan, in reply, admitted the force of the quotation so far as it went; “but” said he, “if the noble Lord had proceeded a little farther, and completed the passage, he would have seen that it applied the other way!” Sheridan then spouted something ore rotundo, which had all the ais, ois, kons, and kois that give the world assurance of a Greek quotation: upon which Lord Belgrave very promptly and handsomely complimented the honorable member on his readiness of recollection, and frankly admitted that the continuation of the passage had the tendency ascribed to it by Mr. Sheridan, and that he had overlooked it at the moment when he gave his quotation. On the breaking up of the House, Fox, who piqued himself on having some Greek, went up to Sheridan, and said, “Sheridan, how came you to be so ready with that passage? It certainly is as you state, but I was not aware of it before you 274quoted it.” It is unnecessary to observe that there was no Greek at all in Sheridan’s impromptu.
Lord Belgrave wrapped up a speech in the House of Commons with a long Greek quote. In response, Sheridan acknowledged the strength of the quote up to a point; “but,” he said, “if the noble Lord had gone a bit further and finished the passage, he would have seen that it meant the opposite!” Sheridan then delivered something golden egg, which had all the sounds that give the impression of a Greek quote: at which point, Lord Belgrave quickly and graciously complimented the honorable member on his quick recall, admitting that the rest of the passage did indeed have the meaning Mr. Sheridan attributed to it, and that he had missed it when he gave his quote. When the House adjourned, Fox, who prided himself on knowing some Greek, approached Sheridan and said, “Sheridan, how did you remember that passage so easily? It’s definitely as you said, but I didn’t know it before you quoted it.” It’s worth noting that there wasn’t any Greek in Sheridan’s off-the-cuff response at all.
BALLAD LITERATURE.
John Hill Burton, in his Book Hunter, after speaking of the success with which Surtus imposed upon Sir Walter Scott the spurious ballad of the Death of Featherstonhaugh, which has a place in the Border Minstrelsy, says:—
John Hill Burton, in his Book Hunter, after discussing how Surtus successfully tricked Sir Walter Scott into believing the fake ballad of the Death of Featherstonhaugh, which is included in the Border Minstrelsy, states:—
Altogether, such affairs create an unpleasant uncertainty about the paternity of that delightful department of literature—our ballad poetry. Where next are we to be disenchanted? Of the way in which ballads have come into existence, there is one sad example within my own knowledge. Some mad young wags, wishing to test the critical powers of an experienced collector, sent him a new-made ballad, which they had been enabled to secure only in a fragmentary form. To the surprise of its fabricator, it was duly printed; but what naturally raised his surprise to astonishment, and revealed to him a secret, was, that it was no longer a fragment, but a complete ballad,—the collector, in the course of his industrious inquiries among the peasantry, having been so fortunate as to recover the missing fragments! It was a case where neither could say anything to the other, though Cato might wonder, quod non rideret haruspex, haruspicem cum vidisset. This ballad has been printed in more than one collection, and admired as an instance of the inimitable simplicity of the genuine old versions!
Altogether, these situations create an uncomfortable uncertainty about the paternity of that wonderful part of literature—our ballad poetry. Where will we be disenchanted next? I have one sad example from my own experience about how ballads came into being. Some mischievous young people, wanting to test the critical skills of an experienced collector, sent him a newly created ballad that they had managed to get only in a fragmentary form. To the surprise of its creator, it was printed; but what turned his surprise into astonishment, revealing a secret to him, was that it was no longer a fragment but a complete ballad— the collector, during his diligent inquiries among the local people, had been lucky enough to recover the missing fragments! It was a situation where neither could say anything to the other, though Cato might wonder, that the soothsayer did not laugh when he saw the soothsayer. This ballad has been printed in more than one collection and praised as an example of the unforgettable simplicity of the genuine old versions!
Psalmanazar exceeded in powers of deception any of the great impostors of learning. His island of Formosa was an illusion eminently bold, and maintained with as much felicity as erudition; and great must have been that erudition which could form a pretended language and its grammar, and fertile the genius which could invent the history of an unknown people. The deception was only satisfactorily ascertained by his own penitential confession; he had defied and baffled the most learned.
Psalmanazar was more deceptive than any of the great frauds in academia. His island of Formosa was a striking illusion, convincingly presented with a mix of cleverness and knowledge. It took a tremendous amount of expertise to create a fake language and its grammar, along with a vivid imagination to invent the history of a fictional people. The truth was only fully revealed through his own remorseful confession; he had challenged and outsmarted even the most knowledgeable scholars.
FRANKLIN’S PARABLE.
Dr. Franklin frequently read for the entertainment of company, apparently from an open Bible, but actually from memory, the following chapter in favor of religious toleration, pretendedly quoted from the Book of Genesis. This story of Abraham and the idolatrous traveler was given by Franklin to Lord Kaimes as a “Jewish Parable on Persecution,” and was published by Kaimes in his Sketches of the History of Man. It is traced, not to a Hebrew author, but to a Persian apologue. Bishop Heber, in referring to the charge of plagiarism raised against Franklin, says that while it cannot be proved that he gave it to Lord Kaimes as his own composition, it is “unfortunate for him that his correspondent evidently appears to have regarded it as his composition; that it had been published as such in all the editions of Franklin’s collected works; and that, with all Franklin’s abilities and amiable qualities, there was a degree of quackery in his character which, in this instance as well as that of his professional epitaph on himself, has made the imputation of such a theft more readily received against him, than it would have been against most other men of equal eminence.”
Dr. Franklin often read for the entertainment of guests, seemingly from an open Bible, but in reality, he was reciting from memory a chapter supporting religious tolerance, which he pretended to quote from the Book of Genesis. He presented this story of Abraham and the idolatrous traveler to Lord Kaimes as a “Jewish Parable on Persecution,” and Kaimes published it in his Sketches of the History of Man. The tale is traced not back to a Hebrew author, but to a Persian fable. Bishop Heber, when addressing the plagiarism claims against Franklin, notes that while it's unproven that Franklin claimed it as his own work, it is “unfortunate for him that his correspondent evidently seems to have considered it his composition; that it has been published as such in all editions of Franklin’s collected works; and that, despite all Franklin’s talents and admirable qualities, there was a hint of deception in his character which, in this case as well as with his professional epitaph, has made the accusation of such a theft more easily accepted against him than it would have been for most other equally notable individuals.”
1. And it came to pass after those things, that Abraham sat in the door of his tent, about the going down of the sun.
1. And after those events, Abraham sat at the entrance of his tent as the sun was setting.
2. And behold a man, bowed with age, came from the way of the wilderness, leaning on a staff.
2. And look, an old man came from the direction of the wilderness, leaning on a staff.
3. And Abraham arose, and met him, and said unto him, Turn in, I pray thee, and warm thy feet, and tarry all night, and thou shalt arise early on the morrow, and go on thy way.
3. And Abraham got up and met him, and said to him, Please come in, warm your feet, stay the night, and you can leave early in the morning and continue on your way.
4. But the man said, Nay, for I will abide under this tree.
4. But the man said, No, because I will stay under this tree.
5. And Abraham pressed him greatly; so he turned, and they went into the tent; and Abraham baked unleavened bread, and they did eat.
5. Abraham insisted a lot, so he agreed, and they went into the tent; Abraham made some unleavened bread, and they ate.
6. And when Abraham saw that the man blessed not God, he said unto him, Wherefore dost thou not worship the most High God, Creator of Heaven and Earth?
6. And when Abraham saw that the man didn't bless God, he said to him, Why don't you worship the Most High God, Creator of Heaven and Earth?
7. And the man answered and said, I do not worship the God thou speakest of, neither do I call upon his name; for I have made to myself a God, which abideth always in mine house, and provideth me with all things.
7. The man replied, “I don’t worship the God you’re talking about, nor do I call on His name; I’ve created my own God, who always stays in my house and provides for all my needs.”
8. And Abraham’s zeal was kindled against the man, and he arose and fell upon him, and drove him forth into the wilderness.
8. And Abraham’s anger was stirred against the man, and he got up and attacked him, driving him out into the wilderness.
2769. And at midnight God called unto Abraham, saying, Abraham, where is the stranger?
2769. And at midnight, God called to Abraham, saying, "Abraham, where is the stranger?"
10. And Abraham answered and said, Lord, he would not worship Thee, neither would he call upon Thy name; therefore have I driven him out from before my face into the wilderness.
10. And Abraham answered and said, Lord, he wouldn’t worship You, nor would he call on Your name; so I have driven him away from my presence into the wilderness.
11. And God said, Have I borne with him these hundred and ninety and eight years, and nourished him and clothed him, notwithstanding his rebellion against Me; and couldst not thou, that art thyself a sinner, bear with him one night?
11. And God said, Have I put up with him for these one hundred ninety-eight years, and taken care of him and provided for him, despite his rebellion against Me; and couldn't you, being a sinner yourself, endure him for just one night?
12. And Abraham said, Let not the anger of my Lord wax hot against His servant: Lo, I haved sinned; forgive me, I pray Thee.
12. And Abraham said, “Please don’t let Your anger burn against Your servant. I realize I have sinned; forgive me, I ask You.”
13. And he arose, and went forth into the wilderness, and sought diligently for the man, and found him:
13. He got up, went out into the wilderness, and searched hard for the man, and found him:
14. And returned with him to his tent: and when he had entreated him kindly, he sent him away on the morrow with gifts.
14. And he returned with him to his tent; and after treating him kindly, he sent him away the next day with gifts.
15. And God spake again unto Abraham, saying, For this thy sin shall thy seed be afflicted four hundred years in a strange land:
15. And God spoke again to Abraham, saying, Because of this sin, your descendants will be afflicted for four hundred years in a foreign land:
16. But for thy repentance will I deliver them; and they shall come forth with power, and with gladness of heart, and with much substance.
16. But I will save them because you have repented; they will come out with strength, joy in their hearts, and with a lot of wealth.
THE SHAKSPEARE FORGERIES.
In 1795–96 William Henry Ireland perpetrated the remarkable Shakspeare Forgeries which gave his name such infamous notoriety. The plays of “Vortigern” and “Henry the Second” were printed in 1799. Several litterateurs of note were deceived by them, and Sheridan produced the former at Drury Lane theatre, with John Kemble to take the leading part. The total failure of the play, conjoined with the attacks of Malone and others, eventually led to a conviction and forced confession of Ireland’s dishonesty. For an authentic account of the Shakspeare Manuscripts see The Confessions of W. H. Ireland; Chalmers’ Apology for the Believers of the Shakspeare Papers; Malone’s Inquiry into the Authenticity, &c.; Wilson’s Shaksperiana; Gentleman’s Magazine, 1796–97; Eclectic Magazine, xvi. 476. One of the original manuscripts of Ireland, that of Henry the Second, has been preserved. The rascal seems to have felt but little penitence for his fraud.
In 1795–96, William Henry Ireland pulled off the astonishing Shakspeare Forgeries, which gave him a reputation for infamy. The plays “Vortigern” and “Henry the Second” were published in 1799. Several notable literary figures were fooled by them, and Sheridan staged the former at Drury Lane Theatre, with John Kemble in the lead role. The play's complete failure, along with criticism from Malone and others, ultimately led to Ireland's conviction and forced confession of his dishonesty. For an authentic account of the Shakspeare Manuscripts, see The Confessions of W. H. Ireland; Chalmers’ Apology for the Believers of the Shakspeare Papers; Malone’s Inquiry into the Authenticity, &c.; Wilson’s Shaksperiana; Gentleman’s Magazine, 1796–97; Eclectic Magazine, xvi. 476. One of the original manuscripts by Ireland, that of Henry the Second, has been preserved. The scoundrel seems to have felt little remorse for his deception.
Interrupted Sentences.
A Judge, reprimanding a criminal, called him a scoundrel. The prisoner replied: “Sir, I am not as big a scoundrel as your Honor”—here the culprit stopped, but finally added—“takes me to be.” “Put your words closer together,” said the Judge.
A judge, reprimanding a criminal, called him a scoundrel. The prisoner replied, “Your Honor, I’m not as much of a scoundrel as you think I am.” “Speak more clearly,” said the judge.
A lady in a dry goods store, while inspecting some cloths, remarked that they were “part cotton.” “Madam,” said the shopman, “these goods are as free from cotton as your breast is”—(the lady frowned) he added—“free from guile.”
A woman in a fabric store, while checking out some cloth, said that they were “part cotton.” “Ma’am,” replied the shopkeeper, “these goods have as much cotton as your heart has”—(the woman frowned) he continued—“free from deceit.”
A lady was reading aloud in a circle of friends a letter just received. She read, “We are in great trouble. Poor Mary has been confined”—and there she stopped for that was the last word on the sheet, and the next sheet had dropped and fluttered away, and poor Mary, unmarried, was left really in a delicate situation until the missing sheet was found, and the next continued—“to her room for three days, with what, we fear, is suppressed scarlet fever.”
A woman was reading aloud to a group of friends a letter she had just received. She read, “We are in great trouble. Poor Mary has been confined”—and then she stopped because that was the last word on the page, and the next page had slipped away and floated off. Poor Mary, who was unmarried, was left in a tricky situation until the missing page was found, which continued—“to her room for three days, with what we fear is suppressed scarlet fever.”
To all letters soliciting his “subscription” to any object Lord Erskine had a regular form of reply, viz.:—“Sir, I feel much honored by your application to me, and beg to subscribe”—here the reader had to turn over the leaf—“myself your very obedient servant.”
To all requests asking for his “subscription” to any cause, Lord Erskine had a standard response: “Sir, I feel very honored by your request, and I would like to subscribe”—here the reader had to flip the page—“your very obedient servant.”
Much more satisfactory to the recipient was Lord Eldon’s note to his friend, Dr. Fisher, of the Charter House:—“Dear Fisher—I cannot to day give you the preferment for which you ask. Your sincere friend, Eldon. (Turn over)—I gave it to you yesterday.”
Much more satisfying to the recipient was Lord Eldon’s note to his friend, Dr. Fisher, of the Charter House:—“Dear Fisher—I can’t give you the position you’re asking for today. Your sincere friend, Eldon. (Turn over)—I gave it to you yesterday.”
At the Virginia Springs a Western girl name Helen was familiarly known among her admirers as Little Hel. At a party given in her native city, a gentleman, somewhat the worse for his supper, approached a very dignified young lady and asked: 278“Where’s my little sweetheart? You know,—Little Hel?” “Sir?” exclaimed the lady, “you certainly forgot yourself.” “Oh,” said he quickly, “you interrupted me; if you had let me go on I would have said Little Helen.” “I beg your pardon,” answered the lady, “when you said Little Hel, I thought you had reached your final destination.”
At Virginia Springs, a Western girl named Helen was commonly known among her fans as Little Hel. At a party held in her hometown, a gentleman, a bit tipsy from dinner, approached a very poised young lady and asked: 278 “Where’s my little sweetheart? You know—Little Hel?” “Excuse me?” the lady exclaimed, “you’ve certainly crossed a line.” “Oh,” he replied quickly, “you interrupted me; if you had let me finish, I would have said Little Helen.” “I apologize,” the lady responded, “but when you said Little Hel, I thought you had reached your final destination.”
The value of an explanation is finely illustrated in the old story of a king who sent to another king, saying, “Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or else——.” The other, in high dudgeon at the presumed insult, replied: “I have not got one, and if I had——.” On this weighty cause they went to war for many years. After a satiety of glories and miseries, they finally bethought them that, as their armies and resources were exhausted, and their kingdoms mutually laid waste, it might be well enough to consult about the preliminaries of peace; but before this could be concluded, a diplomatic explanation was first needed of the insulting language which formed the ground of the quarrel. “What could you mean,” said the second king to the first, “by saying, ‘Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or else——?’” “Why,” said the other, “I meant a blue pig with a black tail, or else some other color. But,” retorted he, “what did you mean by saying, ‘I have not got one, and if I had——?’” “Why, of course, if I had, I should have sent it.” An explanation which was entirely satisfactory, and peace was concluded accordingly.
The value of an explanation is clearly shown in the old story of a king who sent a message to another king, saying, “Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or else——.” The other king, feeling insulted, replied, “I don’t have one, and if I did——.” This serious misunderstanding led to years of war. After experiencing many triumphs and tragedies, they eventually realized that their armies and resources were exhausted, and their kingdoms were both devastated. It made sense to discuss the terms for peace; however, they first needed a diplomatic explanation of the insulting words that started the conflict. “What did you mean,” said the second king to the first, “by saying, ‘Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or else——?’” “Well,” said the first king, “I meant a blue pig with a black tail, or else another color. But,” he shot back, “what did you mean by saying, ‘I don’t have one, and if I did——?’” “Well, of course, if I had one, I would have sent it.” This explanation was completely satisfactory, and peace was made as a result.
It is related of Dr. Mansel, that when an undergraduate of Trinity College, Cambridge, he chanced to call at the rooms of a brother Cantab, who was absent, but who had left on his table the opening of a poem, which was in the following lofty strain:—
It is said about Dr. Mansel that when he was an undergraduate at Trinity College, Cambridge, he happened to drop by the rooms of a fellow student, who was not there but had left the beginning of a poem on the table, which went like this:—
Here the flight of the poet, by some accident, stopped short, but Mansel, who never lost an occasion for fun, completed the stanza in the following facetious style:—
Here the poet's flight, by some accident, came to an abrupt halt, but Mansel, who never missed a chance for a laugh, finished the stanza in the following humorous way:—
That not very brilliant joke, “to lie—under a mistake,” is sometimes indulged in by the best writers. Witness the following. Byron says:—
That not very clever joke, “to lie—under a mistake,” is occasionally used by some of the best writers. Take a look at this. Byron says:—
Shelley, in his translation of the Magico Prodigioso of Calderon, makes Clarin say to Moscon:—
Shelley, in his translation of the Magico Prodigioso by Calderon, has Clarin say to Moscon:—
And De Quincey, Milton versus Southey and Landor, says:—
And De Quincey, Milton versus Southey and Landor, says:—
You are tempted, after walking round a line (of Milton) threescore times, to exclaim at last,—Well, if the Fiend himself should rise up before me at this very moment, in this very study of mine, and say that no screw was loose in that line, then would I reply: “Sir, with due submission, you are——.” “What!” suppose the Fiend suddenly to demand in thunder. “What am I?” “Horribly wrong,” you wish exceedingly to say; but, recollecting that some people are choleric in argument, you confine yourself to the polite answer—“That, with deference to his better education, you conceive him to lie”—that’s a bad word to drop your voice upon in talking with a friend, and you hasten to add—“under a slight, a very slight mistake.”
You're tempted, after walking around a line (of Milton) sixty times, to finally exclaim, “Well, if the Fiend himself were to rise up before me right now, in this very study of mine, and say that there’s nothing wrong with that line, then I would reply: ‘Sir, with all due respect, you are—’.” “What!” imagine the Fiend suddenly demanding in a thunderous voice. “What am I?” “Horribly wrong,” you really want to say; but remembering that some people can be hot-tempered in arguments, you settle for a polite response—“That, with respect to your superior education, I believe you’re mistaken”—that’s a tricky word to emphasize when talking with a friend, so you quickly add—“under a slight, a very slight misunderstanding.”
280Mr. Montague Mathew, who sometimes amused the House of Commons, and alarmed the Ministers, with his brusquerie, set an ingenious example to those who are at once forbidden to speak, and yet resolved to express their thoughts. There was a debate upon the treatment of Ireland, and Mathew having been called to order for taking unseasonable notice of the enormities attributed to the British Government, spoke to the following effect:—“Oh, very well; I shall say nothing then about the murders—(Order, order!)—I shall make no mention of the massacres—(Hear, hear! Order!)—Oh, well; I shall sink all allusion to the infamous half-hangings—”(Order, order! Chair!)
280Mr. Montague Mathew, who sometimes entertained the House of Commons and unnerved the Ministers with his bluntness, set a clever example for those who are both prohibited from speaking and yet determined to share their opinions. There was a debate about how Ireland was being treated, and Mathew was called to order for bringing up the serious issues attributed to the British Government. He responded as follows: “Oh, fine; I won’t say anything about the murders—(Order, order!)—I won’t mention the massacres—(Hear, hear! Order!)—Oh, okay; I’ll drop any reference to the disgraceful half-hangings—”(Order, order! Chair!)
Lord Chatham once began a speech on West Indian affairs, in the House of Commons, with the words: “Sugar, Mr. Speaker——” and then, observing a smile to prevail in the audience, he paused, looked fiercely around, and with a loud voice, rising in its notes, and swelling into vehement anger, he is said to have pronounced again the word “Sugar!” three times; and having thus quelled the House, and extinguished every appearance of levity or laughter, turned around, and disdainfully asked, “Who will laugh at sugar now?”
Lord Chatham once started a speech about West Indian issues in the House of Commons with the words: “Sugar, Mr. Speaker——” and then, noticing a smile among the audience, he paused, looked angrily around, and with a loud voice that rose in intensity and swelled with fierce anger, he is said to have repeated the word “Sugar!” three times. Having silenced the House and eliminated any signs of amusement or laughter, he turned around and contemptuously asked, “Who will laugh at sugar now?”
Our legislative assemblies, under the most exciting circumstances, convey no notion of the phrenzied rage which sometimes agitates the French. Mirabeau interrupted once at every sentence by an insult, with “slanderer,” “liar,” “assassin,” “rascal,” rattling around him, addressed the most furious of his assailants in the softest tone he could assume, saying, “I pause, gentlemen, till these civilities are exhausted.”
Our legislative assemblies, even in the most thrilling situations, show no sign of the intense anger that sometimes stirs the French. Mirabeau, interrupted almost every sentence by insults like “slanderer,” “liar,” “assassin,” and “rascal,” spoke to the most furious of his attackers in the gentlest tone he could manage, saying, “I’ll wait, gentlemen, until these civilities are finished.”
Mr. Marten, M. P., was a great wit. One evening he delivered a furious philippic against Sir Harry Vane, and when he had buried him beneath a load of sarcasm, he said:—“But as for young Sir Harry Vane——” and so sat down. The House was astounded. Several members exclaimed: “What have you to say against young Sir Harry?” Marten at once rose and added: “Why, if young Sir Harry lives to be old, he will be old Sir Harry.”
Mr. Marten, M.P., was quite the wit. One evening, he launched a fierce attack on Sir Harry Vane, and after burying him under a heap of sarcasm, he said, “But as for young Sir Harry Vane——” and then sat down. The House was shocked. Several members shouted, “What do you have to say about young Sir Harry?” Marten immediately stood up and added, “Well, if young Sir Harry lives to become old, he will be old Sir Harry.”
Echo Verse.
Addison says, in No. 59 of the Spectator, “I find likewise in ancient times the conceit of making an Echo talk sensibly and give rational answers. If this could be excusable in any writer, it would be in Ovid, where he introduces the echo as a nymph, before she was worn away into nothing but a voice. (Met. iii. 379.) The learned Erasmus, though a man of wit and genius, has composed a dialogue upon this silly kind of device, and made use of an echo who seems to have been an extraordinary linguist, for she answers the person she talks with in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, according as she found the syllables which she was to repeat in any of those learned languages. Hudibras, in ridicule of this false kind of wit, has described Bruin bewailing the loss of his bear to a solitary echo, who is of great use to the poet in several distichs, as she does not only repeat after him, but helps out his verse and furnishes him with rhymes.”
Addison mentions in No. 59 of the Spectator, “I’ve noticed that in ancient times, there was this idea of making an Echo speak sensibly and give intelligent answers. If this were acceptable for any writer, it would be for Ovid, who introduces the echo as a nymph before she becomes just a voice. (Met. iii. 379.) The scholar Erasmus, despite being witty and talented, has written a dialogue based on this silly notion and features an echo who seems to be quite the linguist, as she responds to the person she's talking to in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, depending on the syllables she needs to repeat in those learned languages. Hudibras, poking fun at this kind of false wit, describes Bruin lamenting the loss of his bear to a solitary echo, who proves quite helpful to the poet in several couplets, as she not only repeats what he says but also supports his verse and provides him with rhymes.”
Euripides in his Andromeda—a tragedy now lost—had a similar scene, which Aristophanes makes sport with in his Feast of Ceres. In the Greek Anthology (iii. 6) is an epigram of Leonidas, and in Book IV. are some lines by Guaradas, commencing—
Euripides in his Andromeda—a tragedy that’s now lost—had a similar scene, which Aristophanes pokes fun at in his Feast of Ceres. In the Greek Anthology (iii. 6) is an epigram by Leonidas, and in Book IV. are some lines by Guaradas, starting—
The French bards in the age of Marot were very fond of this conceit. Disraeli gives an ingenious specimen in his Curiosities of Literature. The lines here transcribed are by Joachim de Bellay:—
The French bards during Marot's time were really into this idea. Disraeli provides a clever example in his Curiosities of Literature. The lines quoted here are by Joachim de Bellay:—
282In The Progresses of Queen Elizabeth there is detailed a masque, which was enacted for her Majesty’s pleasure, in which a dialogue was held with Echo “devised, penned, and pronounced by Master Gascoigne, and that upon a very great sudden.”
282In The Progresses of Queen Elizabeth, a masque is described that was performed for her Majesty's enjoyment, featuring a dialogue with Echo "created, written, and delivered by Master Gascoigne, and done very suddenly."
Here are three of the verses:—
Here are three of the verses:—
LONDON BEFORE THE RESTORATION.
283The following song was written by Addison:—
283The following song was written by Addison:—
PASQUINADE.
The following squib, cited by Mr. Motley in his Dutch Republic, from a MS. collection of pasquils, shows the prevalent opinion in the Netherlands concerning the parentage of Don John of Austria and the position of Barbara Blomberg:—
The following squib, cited by Mr. Motley in his Dutch Republic, from a MS. collection of pasquils, shows the common opinion in the Netherlands about the parentage of Don John of Austria and the role of Barbara Blomberg:—
THE GOSPEL ECHO.
ECHO AND THE LOVER.
Partner. |
Echo! mysterious nymph, declare | |
Of what you’re made and what you are. | ||
Echo. |
Air! | |
Partner. |
Mid airy cliffs and places high, | |
Sweet Echo! listening, love, you lie— | ||
Echo. |
You lie! | |
Partner. |
Thou dost resuscitate dead sounds— | |
Hark! how my voice revives, resounds! | ||
Echo. |
Zounds! | |
Partner. |
I’ll question thee before I go— | |
Come, answer me more apropos! | ||
Echo. |
Poh! poh! | |
Partner. |
Tell me, fair nymph, if e’er you saw | |
So sweet a girl as Phœbe Shaw? | ||
Echo. |
Pshaw! | |
285Partner. |
Say, what will turn that frisking coney | |
Into the toils of matrimony? | ||
Echo. |
Money! | |
Partner. |
Has Phœbe not a heavenly brow? | |
Is it not white as pearl—as snow? | ||
Echo. |
Ass! no! | |
Partner. |
Her eyes! Was ever such a pair? | |
Are the stars brighter than they are? | ||
Echo. |
They are! | |
Partner. |
Echo, thou liest, but can’t deceive me; | |
Her eyes eclipse the stars, believe me— | ||
Echo. |
Leave me! | |
Partner. |
But come, thou saucy, pert romancer, | |
Who is as fair as Phœbe? answer! | ||
Echo. |
Ann, sir. |
ECHO ON WOMAN.
These verses of Dean Swift were supposed, by the late Mr. Reed, to have been written either in imitation of Lord Stirling’s Aurora, or of a scene of Robert Taylor’s old play, entitled The Hog has lost his Pearl.
These lines by Dean Swift were believed by the late Mr. Reed to have been written either as a copy of Lord Stirling’s Aurora or inspired by a scene from Robert Taylor’s old play, titled The Hog has lost his Pearl.
Shepherd. |
Echo, I ween, will in the woods reply, | |
And quaintly answer questions. Shall I try? | ||
Echo. |
Try. | |
Shepherd. |
What must we do our passion to express? | |
Echo. |
Press. | |
Shepherd. |
How shall I please her who ne’er loved before? | |
Echo. |
Be fore. | |
Shepherd. |
What most moves women when we them address? | |
Echo. |
A dress. | |
Shepherd. |
Say, what can keep her chaste whom I adore? | |
Echo. |
A door. | |
Shepherd. |
If music softens rocks, love tunes my lyre. | |
Echo. |
Liar. | |
Shepherd. |
Then teach me, Echo, how shall I come by her? | |
Echo. |
Buy her. | |
Shepherd. |
When bought, no question I shall be her dear. | |
Echo. |
Her deer. | |
Shepherd. |
But deer have horns: how must I keep her under? | |
Echo. |
Keep her under. | |
286Shepherd. |
But what can glad me when she’s laid on bier? | |
Echo. |
Beer. | |
Shepherd. |
What, must I do when women will be kind? | |
Echo. |
Be kind. | |
Shepherd. |
What must I do when women will be cross? | |
Echo. |
Be cross. | |
Shepherd. |
Lord! what is she that can so turn and wind? | |
Echo. |
Wind. | |
Shepherd. |
If she be wind, what stills her when she blows? | |
Echo. |
Blows. | |
Shepherd. |
But if she bang again, still should I bang her? | |
Echo. |
Bang her. | |
Shepherd. |
Is there no way to moderate her anger? | |
Echo. |
Hang her. | |
Shepherd. |
Thanks, gentle Echo! right thy answers tell | |
What woman is, and how to guard her well. | ||
Echo. |
Guard her well. |
BONAPARTE AND THE ECHO.
The original publication of the following exposed the publisher, Palm, of Nuremberg, to trial by court-martial. He was sentenced to be shot at Braunau in 1807,—a severe retribution for a few lines of poetry.
The original publication of the following got the publisher, Palm, of Nuremberg, in trouble with a court-martial. He was sentenced to be shot in Braunau in 1807—a harsh punishment for just a few lines of poetry.
EPIGRAM ON THE SYNOD OF DORT.
Referring to the extravagant price demanded in London, in 1831, to see and hear the Orpheus of violinists, the Sunday Times asked,—
Referring to the outrageous price charged in London in 1831 to see and hear the Orpheus of violinists, the Sunday Times asked,—
THE CRITIC’S EPIGRAMMATIC EXCUSE.
ECHO ANSWERING.
REMARKABLE ECHOES.
An echo in Woodstock Park, Oxfordshire, repeats seventeen syllables by day, and twenty by night. One on the banks of the Lago del Lupo, above the fall of Terni, repeats fifteen. But the most remarkable echo known is one on the north side of Shipley Church, in Sussex, which distinctly repeats twenty-one syllables.
An echo in Woodstock Park, Oxfordshire, repeats seventeen syllables during the day, and twenty at night. One by the banks of Lago del Lupo, above the Terni Falls, repeats fifteen. But the most remarkable echo known is on the north side of Shipley Church in Sussex, which clearly repeats twenty-one syllables.
In the Abbey church at St. Alban’s is a curious echo. The tick of a watch may be heard from one end of the church to the other. In Gloucester Cathedral, a gallery of an octagonal form conveys a whisper seventy-five feet across the nave.
In the Abbey church at St. Alban’s, there's an interesting echo. You can hear the ticking of a watch from one end of the church to the other. In Gloucester Cathedral, an octagonal gallery carries a whisper seventy-five feet across the nave.
The following inscription is copied from this gallery:—
The following inscription is taken from this gallery:—
In the Cathedral of Girgenti, in Sicily, the slightest whisper is borne with perfect distinctness from the great western door to the cornice behind the high altar,—a distance of two hundred and fifty feet. By a most unlucky coincidence, the precise focus of divergence at the former station was chosen for the place of the confessional. Secrets never intended for the public ear thus became known, to the dismay of the confessors, and the scandal of the people, by the resort of the curious to the opposite point, (which seems to have been discovered accidentally,) till at length, one listener having had his curiosity somewhat over-gratified by hearing his wife’s avowal of her own infidelity, this tell-tale peculiarity became generally known, and the confessional was removed.
In the Cathedral of Girgenti, in Sicily, even the softest whisper can be clearly heard from the large western door to the cornice behind the high altar—a distance of two hundred fifty feet. Unfortunately, the exact spot where the sound diverges was also chosen for the confessional. Secrets that were never meant for public knowledge ended up being revealed, much to the distress of the confessors and the scandal of the people, because the curious flocked to the opposite point, which seemed to have been discovered by chance. Eventually, one listener was so curious that he overheard his wife confess her own infidelity, and this telltale feature became widely known, leading to the removal of the confessional.
In the whispering-gallery of St. Paul’s, London, the faintest sound is faithfully conveyed from one side to the other of the dome, but is not heard at any intermediate point.
In the whispering gallery of St. Paul’s, London, the slightest sound travels perfectly from one side of the dome to the other, but is not heard at any point in between.
In the Manfroni Palace at Venice is a square room about twenty-five feet high, with a concave roof, in which a person standing in the centre, and stamping gently with his foot on the floor, hears the sound repeated a great many times; but as his position deviates from the centre, the reflected sounds grow 289fainter, and at a short distance wholly cease. The same phenomenon occurs in the large room of the Library of the Museum at Naples.
In the Manfroni Palace in Venice, there’s a square room about twenty-five feet high, with a curved roof. When someone stands in the center and gently stamps their foot on the floor, they hear the sound echo repeatedly; however, as they move away from the center, the reflected sounds become fainter and eventually stop altogether after a short distance. This same phenomenon is found in the large room of the Library of the Museum in Naples. 289
EXTRAORDINARY FACTS IN ACOUSTICS.
An intelligent and very respectable gentleman, named Ebenezer Snell, who is still living, at the age of eighty and upwards, was in a corn-field with a negro on the 17th of June, 1776, in the township of Cummington, Mass., one hundred and twenty-nine miles west of Bunker Hill by the course of the road, and at least one hundred by an air-line. Some time during the day, the negro was lying on the ground, and remarked to Ebenezer that there was war somewhere, for he could distinctly hear the cannonading. Ebenezer put his ear to the ground, and also heard the firing distinctly, and for a considerable time. He remembers the fact, which made a deep impression on his mind, as plainly as though it was yesterday.
An intelligent and very respectable gentleman named Ebenezer Snell, who is still alive at over eighty years old, was in a cornfield with a Black man on June 17, 1776, in Cummington, Massachusetts, which is one hundred and twenty-nine miles west of Bunker Hill by road, and at least one hundred miles in a straight line. At some point during the day, the Black man was lying on the ground and told Ebenezer that there was war happening somewhere because he could clearly hear cannon fire. Ebenezer placed his ear to the ground and also distinctly heard the firing for a considerable time. He remembers this experience vividly, as if it happened yesterday.
Over water, or a surface of ice, sound is propagated with remarkable clearness and strength. Dr. Hutton relates that, on a quiet part of the Thames near Chelsea, he could hear a person read distinctly at the distance of one hundred and forty feet, while on the land the same could only be heard at seventy-six. Lieut. Foster, in the third Polar expedition of Capt. Parry, found that he could hold conversation with a man across the harbor of Port Bowen, a distance of six thousand six hundred and ninety-six feet, or about a mile and a quarter. This, however, falls short of what is asserted by Derham and Dr. Young,—viz., that at Gibraltar the human voice has been heard at the distance of ten miles, the distance across the strait.
Over water, or on a surface of ice, sound travels with impressive clarity and strength. Dr. Hutton explains that, in a calm section of the Thames near Chelsea, he could clearly hear someone reading from a distance of one hundred and forty feet, while on land the same could only be heard at seventy-six feet. Lieutenant Foster, during the third Polar expedition led by Captain Parry, discovered that he could have a conversation with someone across the harbor of Port Bowen, a distance of six thousand six hundred and ninety-six feet, or about a mile and a quarter. However, this doesn't compare to the claims made by Derham and Dr. Young, who state that in Gibraltar the human voice has been heard from a distance of ten miles, the span across the strait.
Dr. Hearn, a Swedish physician, relates that he heard guns fired at Stockholm, on the occasion of the death of one of the royal family, in 1685, at the distance of thirty Swedish or one hundred and eighty British miles.
Dr. Hearn, a Swedish doctor, shares that he heard gunfire in Stockholm when a member of the royal family passed away in 1685, from thirty Swedish miles or one hundred and eighty British miles away.
The cannonade of a sea-fight between the English and Dutch, in 1672, was heard across England as far as Shrewsbury, and even in Wales, a distance of upwards of two hundred miles from the scene of action.
The sound of cannon fire from a naval battle between the English and Dutch in 1672 was heard across England as far away as Shrewsbury and even in Wales, a distance of over two hundred miles from where it was happening.
Puzzles.
The fastidiousness of mere book-learning, or the overweening importance of politicians and men of business, may be employed to cast contempt, or even odium, on the labor which is spent in the solution of puzzles which produce no useful knowledge when disclosed; but that which agreeably amuses both young and old should, if not entitled to regard, be at least exempt from censure. Nor have the greatest wits of this and other countries disdained to show their skill in these trifles. Homer, it is said, died of chagrin at not being able to expound a riddle propounded by a simple fisherman,—“Leaving what’s taken, what we took not we bring.” Aristotle was amazingly perplexed, and Philetas, the celebrated grammarian and poet of Cos, puzzled himself to death in fruitless endeavors to solve the sophism called by the ancients The Liar:—“If you say of yourself, ‘I lie,’ and in so saying tell the truth, you lie. If you say, ‘I lie,’ and in so saying tell a lie, you tell the truth.” Dean Swift, who could so agreeably descend to the slightest badinage, was very fond of puzzles. Many of the best riddles in circulation may be traced to the sportive moments of men of the greatest celebrity, who gladly seek occasional relaxation from the graver pursuits of life, in comparative trifles.
The obsession with strict book learning and the inflated importance of politicians and businesspeople can be used to belittle or even criticize the effort spent on solving puzzles that don’t yield any practical knowledge. However, activities that entertain both young and old should, at the very least, be free from criticism. Even the smartest minds in this country and others have shown their cleverness in these little challenges. It’s said that Homer died out of frustration for not being able to solve a riddle posed by a simple fisherman—“Leaving what’s taken, what we took not we bring.” Aristotle was truly baffled, and Philetas, the famous grammarian and poet from Cos, literally puzzled himself to death trying to figure out the ancient sophism known as The Liar:—“If you say of yourself, ‘I lie,’ and in so saying tell the truth, you lie. If you say, ‘I lie,’ and in so saying tell a lie, you tell the truth.” Dean Swift, who could humorously engage in the smallest jokes, enjoyed puzzles a lot. Many of the best riddles going around can be traced back to the playful moments of very prominent figures who happily seek a break from the more serious tasks of life in these lighthearted distractions.
Mrs. Barbauld says, Finding out riddles is the same kind of exercise for the mind as running, leaping, and wrestling are for the body. They are of no use in themselves; they are not work, but play; but they prepare the body, and make it alert and active for any thing it may be called upon to perform. So does the finding out good riddles give quickness of thought, and facility for turning about a problem every way, and viewing it in every possible light.
Mrs. Barbauld says that solving riddles is like a workout for the mind, just as running, jumping, and wrestling are for the body. They aren’t useful in themselves; they’re not work, but play. However, they prepare the body and keep it alert and active for anything it might need to do. Similarly, solving good riddles sharpens your thinking and helps you approach problems from different angles and perspectives.
The French have excelled all other people in this species of literary amusement. Their language is favorable to it, and their writers have always indulged a fondness for it. As a 291specimen of the ingenuity of the earlier literati, we transcribe a rebus of Jean Marot, a favorite old priest, and valet-de-chambre to Francis I. It would be inexplicable to most readers without the version in common French, which is subjoined:—
The French have outdone everyone else in this type of literary entertainment. Their language supports it well, and their writers have always had a passion for it. As a 291example of the creativity of earlier literary figures, we share a rebus by Jean Marot, a beloved old priest and servant to Francis I. Most readers wouldn't understand it without the version in standard French that follows:—
RONDEAU.
BONAPARTEAN CYPHER.
The following is a key to the cypher in which Napoleon Bonaparte carried on his private correspondence:—
The following is a key to the cipher that Napoleon Bonaparte used for his private correspondence:—
A | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
B | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | w | x | y | z |
C | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
D | z | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | w | x | y |
E | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
F | y | z | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | w | x |
G | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
H | x | y | z | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | w |
I | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
K | w | x | y | z | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u |
L | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
M | u | w | x | y | z | n | o | p | q | r | s | t |
N | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
O | t | u | w | x | y | z | n | o | p | q | r | s |
P | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
Q | s | t | u | w | x | y | z | n | o | p | q | r |
R | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
S | r | s | t | u | w | x | y | z | n | o | p | q |
T | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
U | q | r | s | t | u | w | x | y | z | n | o | p |
W | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
X | p | q | r | s | t | u | w | x | y | z | n | o |
Y | a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | k | l | m |
Z | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | w | x | y | z | n |
The subjoined is a proclamation, in cypher, from Bonaparte to the French army; a copy of which was in the hands of one or more persons in almost every regiment in the service.
The following is a message in code from Bonaparte to the French army; a copy of this was held by one or more individuals in almost every regiment in service.
PROCLAMATION.
293The same deciphered by means of the table and key:—
293We decoded it using the table and key:—
“Français! votre pays étoit trahi; votre Empereur seul peut vous remettre dans la position splendide que convient à la France. Donnez toute votre confiance à celui qui vous a toujours conduit a la gloire. Ses aigles pleniront encore en l’air et étonneront les nations.”
French! Your country was betrayed; only your Emperor can restore you to the magnificent position that befits France. Place all your trust in the one who has always led you to glory. His eagles will soar again in the sky and amaze the nations.
Frenchmen! your country was betrayed; your Emperor alone can replace you in the splendid state suitable to France. Give your entire confidence to him who has always led you to glory. His eagles will again soar on high and strike the nations with astonishment.
French people! Your country was betrayed; only your Emperor can restore you to the great position that befits France. Place your full trust in the one who has always guided you to victory. His eagles will rise again and amaze the nations.
The key (which, it will be seen, may be changed at pleasure) was in this instance “La France et ma famille,” France and my family. It is thus used:—
The key (which, as you will see, can be changed at will) was in this case “La France et ma famille,” France and my family. It is used as follows:—
L being the first letter of the key, refer to that letter in the first column of the cypher in capitals; then look for the letter f, which is the first letter of the proclamation, and that letter which corresponds with f being placed underneath, viz., n, is that which is to be noted down. To decipher the proclamation, of course the order of reference must be inverted, by looking for the corresponding letter to n in the division opposite that letter L which stands in the column.
L is the first letter of the key, so refer to that letter in the first column of the cipher in uppercase; then find the letter f, which is the first letter of the proclamation, and the letter that matches f beneath it, which is n, should be noted down. To decode the proclamation, you need to reverse the order of reference, by looking for the corresponding letter to n in the section across from the letter L in the column.
CASE FOR THE LAWYERS.
X. Y. applies to A. B. to become a law pupil, offering to pay him the customary fee as soon as he shall have gained his first suit in law. To this A. B. formally agrees, and admits X. Y. to the privileges of a student. Before the termination of X. Y.’s pupilage, however, A. B. gets tired of waiting for his money, and determines to sue X. Y. for the amount. He reasons thus:—If I gain this case, X. Y. will be compelled to pay me by the decision of the court; if I lose it, he will have to pay me by the condition of our contract, he having won his first lawsuit. But X. Y. need not be alarmed when he learns A. B.’s intention, for he may reason similarly. He may say,—If I succeed, and the award of the court is in my favor, of course I shall not have to pay the money; if the court decides against me, I shall not have to pay it, according to the terms of our contract, as I shall not yet have gained my first suit in law. Vive la logique.
X. Y. applies to A. B. to become a law student, offering to pay him the usual fee as soon as he has won his first lawsuit. A. B. formally agrees to this and grants X. Y. the privileges of a student. However, before X. Y.'s time as a pupil ends, A. B. gets tired of waiting for his payment and decides to sue X. Y. for the amount. He thinks: If I win this case, X. Y. will have to pay me based on the court’s decision; if I lose, he will still have to pay me according to our contract, since he would have won his first lawsuit. But X. Y. doesn’t need to worry when he hears about A. B.’s plan, as he can think the same way. He might say: If I win, and the court rules in my favor, then I obviously won’t have to pay the money; if the court rules against me, I also won’t have to pay it, according to our contract, since I won’t have won my first lawsuit yet. Long live logic.
SIR ISAAC NEWTON’S RIDDLE.
COWPER’S RIDDLE.
CANNING’S RIDDLE.
THE PRIZE ENIGMA.
The following enigma was found in the will of Miss Anna Seward (the Swan of Lichfield), with directions to pay £50 to the person who should discover the solution. When competition for the prize was exhausted, it was discovered to be a curtailed copy of a rebus published in the Gentleman’s Magazine, March, 1757, and at that time attributed to Lord Chesterfield.
The following puzzle was found in the will of Miss Anna Seward (the Swan of Lichfield), with instructions to pay £50 to whoever solves it. When the contest for the prize ended, it turned out to be a shortened version of a rebus published in the Gentleman’s Magazine, March 1757, which was then credited to Lord Chesterfield.
QUINCY’S COMPARISON.
Josiah Quincy, in the course of a speech in Congress, in 1806, on the embargo, used the following language:—
Josiah Quincy, during a speech in Congress in 1806 about the embargo, said the following:—
They who introduced it abjured it. They who advocated it did not wish, and scarcely knew, its use. And now that it is said to be extended over us, no man in this nation, who values his reputation, will take his Bible oath that it is in effectual and legal operation. There is an old riddle on a coffin, which I presume we all learned when we were boys, that is as perfect a representation of the origin, progress, and present state of this thing called non-intercourse, as it is possible to be conceived:—
They who brought it in renounced it. Those who supported it didn’t really want it and barely understood its purpose. And now that it's claimed to be applied to us, no one in this country, who cares about their reputation, will swear on a Bible that it’s actually effective and legal. There’s an old riddle about a coffin that I’m sure we all learned as kids, which perfectly captures the origin, development, and current status of this thing called non-intercourse.
True it is, that if this non-intercourse shall ever be, in reality, subtended over us, the similitude will fail in a material point. The poor tenant of the coffin is ignorant of his state. But the people of the United States will be literally buried alive in non-intercourse, and realize the grave closing on themselves and on their hopes, with a full and cruel consciousness of all the horrors of their condition.
It's true that if this lack of interaction ever really happens, it will miss the mark in a significant way. The unfortunate person in the coffin doesn’t know their situation. But the people of the United States will be trapped in this lack of interaction, painfully aware of the grave closing in on them and their hopes, fully conscious of all the horrors of their predicament.
SINGULAR INTERMARRIAGES.
There were married at Durham, Canada East, an old lady and gentleman, involving the following interesting connections:—
There were married in Durham, Canada East, an elderly lady and gentleman, involving the following interesting connections:—
The old gentleman is married to his daughter’s husband’s mother-in-law, and his daughter’s husband’s wife’s mother. And yet she is not his daughter’s mother; but she is his grandchildren’s grandmother, and his wife’s grandchildren are his daughter’s step-children. Consequently the old lady is united in the bonds of holy matrimony and conjugal affection to her daughter’s brother-in-law’s father-in-law, and her great-grandchildren’s grandmother’s step-father; so that her son-in-law may say to his children, Your grandmother is married to my father-in-law, and yet he is not your grandfather; but he is your grandmother’s son-in-law’s wife’s father. This gentleman married his son-in-law’s father-in-law’s wife, and he is bound to support and protect her for life. His wife is his son-in-law’s children’s grandmother, and his son-in-law’s grandchildren’s great-grandmother.
The old man is married to his daughter's husband’s mother-in-law, and his daughter's husband’s wife’s mother. Yet she isn't his daughter's mother; she is the grandmother of his grandchildren, and the grandchildren of his wife are his daughter's stepchildren. So, the old lady is connected through marriage and love to her daughter’s brother-in-law’s father-in-law, and her great-grandchildren’s grandmother’s step-father. This means her son-in-law can tell his children, "Your grandmother is married to my father-in-law, but he's not your grandfather; he is your grandmother’s son-in-law’s wife’s father." This man married his son-in-law's father-in-law's wife, and he is committed to support and protect her for life. His wife is the grandmother of his son-in-law's children and the great-grandmother of his son-in-law's grandchildren.
A Mr. Harwood had two daughters by his first wife, the eldest of whom was married to John Coshick; this Coshick had a daughter by his first wife, whom old Harwood married, and by her he had a son; therefore, John Coshick’s second wife could say as follows:—
A Mr. Harwood had two daughters with his first wife, the oldest of whom was married to John Coshick; this Coshick had a daughter with his first wife, whom old Harwood married, and together they had a son; thus, John Coshick’s second wife could say the following:—
PROPHETIC DISTICH.
In the year 1531, the following couplet was found written on the wall behind the altar of the Augustinian monastery at Gotha, when the building was taken down:—
In 1531, the following couplet was discovered written on the wall behind the altar of the Augustinian monastery in Gotha when the building was demolished:—
MC quadratum is MCCCC, i.e. 1400. LX duplicatum is LLXX, i.e. 120 = 1520. ORAPS is an abbreviation for ora pro nobis (pray for us). The meaning is, that in the sixteenth century praying to the saints will cease, and Huss and Wickliffe will again be recognized.
MC quadratum is MCCCC, meaning 1400. LX duplicatum is LLXX, which equals 120 = 1520. ORAPS stands for pray for us (pray for us). This indicates that in the sixteenth century, praying to the saints will stop, and Huss and Wickliffe will be acknowledged once more.
THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST.
Among the curious things extant in relation to Luther is the covert attempt of an ingenious theological opponent to make him the apocalyptic beast or antichrist described in Revelation ch. xiii. The mysterious number of the beast, “six hundred threescore and six,” excited the curiosity of mankind at a very early period, particularly that of Irenæus, in the second century, who indulged in a variety of shrewd conjectures on the subject. But after discovering the number in several names, he modestly says, “Yet I venture not to pronounce positively concerning the name of antichrist, for, had it been intended to be openly proclaimed to the present generation, it would have been uttered by the same person who saw the revelation.” A later expositor, Fevardent, in his Notes on Irenæus, adds to the list the name of Martin Luther, which, he says, was originally written Martin Lauter. “Initio vocabatur Martin Lauter,” says Fevardent; “cujus nominis literas si Pythagorice et ratione subducas et more Hebræorum et Græcorum alphabeti crescat numerus, primo monadum, deinde decadum, hinc centuriarum, numerus nominis Bestiæ, id est, 666, tandem perfectum comperies, hoc pacto.”
Among the interesting things related to Luther is the secret attempt of a clever theological opponent to label him as the apocalyptic beast or antichrist described in Revelation chapter 13. The mysterious number of the beast, “six hundred sixty-six,” piqued people’s curiosity very early on, especially that of Irenaeus in the second century, who speculated about its meaning. But after finding the number in several names, he humbly states, “Yet I do not dare to assert positively about the name of the antichrist, for if it were meant to be openly revealed to this generation, it would have been declared by the same person who saw the revelation.” A later commentator, Fevardent, adds Martin Luther to the list in his Notes on Irenaeus, saying that his name was originally written as Martin Lauter. “Initio vocatur Martin Lauter,” Fevardent says; “If you take the letters of the name and reduce them by Pythagorean methods and according to the ways of the Hebrew and Greek alphabets, the number will first grow in units, then in tens, and then in hundreds, leading to the number of the Beast, which is 666, and ultimately you will discover the perfect number, in this way..”
M | 30 | L | 20 |
A | 1 | A | 1 |
R | 80 | U | 200 |
T | 100 | T | 100 |
I | 9 | E | 5 |
N | 40 | R | 80 |
Total, 666. |
It is but just to Fevardent, however, to observe that he subsequently gave the preference to Maometis.
It’s only fair to point out that Fevardent later preferred Maometis.
GALILEO’S LOGOGRAPH.
Galileo was the first to observe a peculiarity in the planet Saturn, but his telescope had not sufficient refractive power to separate the rings. It appeared to him like three bodies arranged 298in the same straight line, of which the middle was the largest, thus, ⚬⚪⚬. He announced his discovery to Kepler under the veil of a logograph, which sorely puzzled his illustrious cotemporary. This is not to be wondered at, for it ran—
Galileo was the first to notice something unusual about the planet Saturn, but his telescope didn't have enough refractive power to distinguish the rings. It looked to him like three objects lined up in a straight line, with the middle one being the biggest, like this: ⚬⚪⚬. He communicated his discovery to Kepler using a code, which greatly confused his famous contemporary. This is understandable, as it read— 298
Restoring the transposed letters to their proper places, we have the following sentence:—
Restoring the switched letters to their correct positions, we have the following sentence:—
PERSIAN RIDDLES.
CHINESE TEA SONG.
Punch has favored the world with the following song, sung before her Britannic Majesty by a Chinese lady. It looks rather difficult at first; but if the reader studies it attentively, he will see how easy it is to read Chinese:—
Punch has entertained the world with the following song, performed before her Britannic Majesty by a Chinese lady. It looks pretty challenging at first; but if you take a close look at it, you'll see just how simple it is to read Chinese:—
DEATH AND LIFE.
THE REBUS.
Ben Jonson, in his play The Alchemist, takes an opportunity of ridiculing the Rebus, among the other follies of his day which he so trenchantly satirizes. When Abel Drugger, the simple tobacconist, applies to the impostor Subtle to invent for him a sign-board that will magically attract customers to his shop, the cheat says to his confederate, in presence of their admiring dupe,—
Ben Jonson, in his play The Alchemist, seizes the chance to mock the Rebus, along with other absurdities of his time that he sharply criticizes. When Abel Drugger, the naive tobacconist, asks the fraud Subtle to create a sign that will magically draw customers to his shop, the con artist says to his partner, in front of their unsuspecting target,—
A motto of the Bacon family in Somersetshire has an ingenious rebus,—
A motto of the Bacon family in Somersetshire features a clever rebus,—
the capitals, thus placed, giving it the double reading, Proba conscientia, and Pro Bacon Scientia.
the capitals, positioned this way, provide it with a dual interpretation, Proba conscientia, and Pro Bacon Scientia.
WHAT IS IT?
THE BOOK OF RIDDLES.
The Book of Riddles alluded to by Shakspeare in the Merry Wives of Windsor (Act I. sc. I) is mentioned by Laneham, 1575, and in the English Courtier, 1586; but the earliest edition of this popular collection now preserved is dated 1629. It is entitled The Booke of Merry Riddles, together with proper Questions and witty Proverbs to make pleasant pastime; no less usefull then behovefull for any young man or child, to know 300if he be quick-witted or no. The following extract from this very rare work will be found interesting.
The Book of Riddles mentioned by Shakespeare in The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act I, scene I) is referenced by Laneham in 1575 and in The English Courtier in 1586; however, the earliest edition of this popular collection still available is from 1629. It's titled The Booke of Merry Riddles, together with proper Questions and witty Proverbs to make pleasant pastime; no less useful than necessary for any young man or child, to know 300 if he is quick-witted or not. The following excerpt from this very rare work will be found interesting.
Here beginneth the first Riddle.
Two legs sat upon three legs, and had one leg in her hand; then in came foure legs, and bare away one leg; then up start two legs, and threw three legs at foure legs, and brought again one leg.
Two legs sat on three legs, and held one leg in her hand; then in came four legs, and took away one leg; then up stood two legs, and threw three legs at four legs, and brought back one leg.
Solution.—That is, a woman with two legs sate on a stoole with three legs, and had a leg of mutton in her hand; then came a dog that hath foure legs, and bare away the leg of mutton; then up start the woman, and threw the stoole with three legs at the dog with foure legs, and brought again the leg of mutton.
Solution.—That is, a woman with two legs sat on a stool with three legs, holding a leg of mutton in her hand; then came a dog that had four legs and took away the leg of mutton; then the woman got up and threw the stool with three legs at the dog with four legs and retrieved the leg of mutton.
The Second Riddle.
Solution.—That is a thorne: for a man went to the wood and caught a thorne in his foote, and then he sate him downe, and sought to have it pulled out, and because he could not find it out, he must needs bring it home.
Solution.—That's a thorn: a man went into the woods and got a thorn stuck in his foot, then he sat down and tried to pull it out. Since he couldn't find a way to get it out, he had to take it home.
The iii. Riddle.
What work is that, the faster ye worke, the longer it is ere ye have done, and the slower ye worke, the sooner ye make an end?
What work is that, the faster you work, the longer it takes to finish, and the slower you work, the sooner you get it done?
Solution.—That is turning of a spit; for if ye turne fast, it will be long ere the meat be rosted, but if ye turne slowly, the sooner it is rosted.
Solution.—That's turning a spit; because if you turn it quickly, it will take a long time for the meat to roast, but if you turn it slowly, it roasts faster.
The iv. Riddle.
What is that that shineth bright all day, and at night is raked up in its own dirt?
What is that which shines brightly all day, and at night is covered in its own dirt?
Solution.—That is the fire, that burneth bright all the day; and at night is raked up in his ashes.
Solution.—That's the fire that burns brightly all day; and at night, it's raked into its ashes.
The v. Riddle.
Solution.—The tree is the yeare; the twelve branches be the twelve months; the fifty-two nests be the fifty-two weekes; the seven birds be the seven days in the weeke, whereof every one hath a divers name.
Solution.—The tree represents the year; the twelve branches are the twelve months; the fifty-two nests correspond to the fifty-two weeks; the seven birds symbolize the seven days of the week, each with its own unique name.
BISHOP WILBERFORCE’S PUZZLE.
“All pronounce me a wonderful piece of mechanism, and yet few people have numbered the strange medley of which I am composed. I have a large box and two lids, two caps, two musical instruments, a number of weathercocks, three established measures, some weapons of warfare, and a great many little articles that carpenters cannot do without; then I have about me a couple of esteemed fishes, and a great many of a smaller kind; two lofty trees, and the fruit of an indigenous plant; a handsome stag, and a great number of a smaller kind of game; two halls or places of worship, two students or rather scholars, the stairs of a hotel, and half a score of Spanish gentlemen to attend on me. I have what is the terror of the slave, also two domestic animals, and a number of negatives.”
“All of you call me a remarkable piece of machinery, yet not many have counted the unusual mix of things I consist of. I have a large box and two lids, two caps, two musical instruments, several weather vanes, three standard measures, some weapons, and plenty of little things that carpenters need; I also have with me a couple of prized fish and many smaller ones; two tall trees, and the fruit of a native plant; a handsome stag, and numerous smaller game; two halls or places of worship, two students or rather scholars, the stairs of a hotel, and a handful of Spanish gentlemen to attend to me. I possess what is the fear of the slave, along with two domestic animals, and a number of negatives.”
Reply.—“Chest—eye-lids—kneecaps—drum of the ear—veins—hand, foot, nail—arms—nails—soles of the feet—muscles—palms—apple—heart (hart)—hairs (hares) temples—pupils—insteps—tendons (ten Dons)—lashes—calves—nose (no’s.)”
Respond.—“Chest—eyelids—kneecaps—eardrum—veins—hand, foot, nail—arms—nails—soles of the feet—muscles—palms—apple—heart—hairs— temples—pupils—insteps—tendons—lashes—calves—nose.”
CURIOSITIES OF CIPHER.
In 1680, when M. de Louvois was French Minister of War, he summoned before him one day, a gentleman named Chamilly, and gave him the following instructions:—
In 1680, when M. de Louvois was the French Minister of War, he called a gentleman named Chamilly to meet with him one day and gave him the following instructions:—
“Start this evening for Basle, in Switzerland, which you will reach in three days; on the fourth, punctually at two o’clock, station yourself on the bridge over the Rhine, with a portfolio, 302ink, and a pen. Watch all that takes place, and make a memorandum of every particular. Continue doing so for two hours; have a carriage and post-horses await you; and at four precisely, mount and travel night and day till you reach Paris. On the instant of your arrival, hasten to me with your notes.”
“Leave this evening for Basel, Switzerland, which you'll reach in three days. On the fourth day, be on the bridge over the Rhine at two o’clock, with a portfolio, ink, and a pen. Watch everything that happens and take notes on every detail. Keep this up for two hours; have a carriage and post-horses ready for you, and at exactly four, get on and travel day and night until you arrive in Paris. As soon as you get there, come to me with your notes.”
De Chamilly obeyed; he reaches Basle, and on the day, and at the hour appointed, stations himself, pen in hand, on the bridge. Presently a market-cart drives by, then an old woman with a basket of fruit passes; anon, a little urchin trundles his hoop by; next an old gentlemen in blue top-coat jogs past on his gray mare. Three o’clock chimes from the cathedral-tower. Just at the last stroke, a tall fellow in yellow waistcoat and breeches saunters up, goes to the middle of the bridge, lounges over, and looks at the water; then he takes a step back and strikes three hearty blows on the footway with his staff. Down goes every detail in De Chamilly’s book. At last the hour of release sounds, and he jumps into his carriage. Shortly before midnight, after two days of ceaseless traveling, De Chamilly presented himself before the Minister, feeling rather ashamed at having such trifles to record. M. de Louvois took the portfolio with eagerness, and glanced over the notes. As his eye caught the mention of the yellow-breeched man, a gleam of joy flashed across his countenance. He rushed to the king, roused him from sleep, spoke in private with him for a few moments, and then four couriers, who had been held in readiness since five on the preceding evening, were dispatched with haste. Eight days after the town of Strasbourg was entirely surrounded by French troops, and summoned to surrender; it capitulated and threw open its gates on the 30th September, 1681. Evidently the three strokes of the stick given by the fellow in yellow costume, at an appointed hour, were the signal of the success of an intrigue concerted between M. de Louvois and the magistrates of Strasbourg, and the man who executed this mission was as ignorant of the motive as was M. de Chamilly of the motive of his errand.
De Chamilly followed orders; he reached Basel, and right on the day and at the hour specified, he positioned himself, pen in hand, on the bridge. Soon, a market cart drove by, followed by an old woman carrying a basket of fruit; then a little kid rolled his hoop past; next, an old gentleman in a blue coat jogged by on his gray horse. The cathedral clock struck three. Just as the last bell tolled, a tall guy in a yellow waistcoat and breeches sauntered up, stood in the middle of the bridge, leaned over, and looked at the water; then he stepped back and struck three strong blows on the ground with his staff. De Chamilly noted every detail in his book. Finally, when the hour of release rang, he jumped into his carriage. A little before midnight, after two days of nonstop travel, De Chamilly arrived in front of the Minister, feeling somewhat embarrassed to have such trivial things to report. M. de Louvois eagerly took the portfolio and skimmed through the notes. When he saw the mention of the man in yellow breeches, a look of joy spread across his face. He rushed to the king, woke him up, spoke to him privately for a few moments, and then four couriers, who had been waiting since five the previous evening, were sent off in a hurry. Eight days later, the city of Strasbourg was completely surrounded by French troops and was ordered to surrender; it capitulated and opened its gates on September 30, 1681. Clearly, the three strikes of the stick by the guy in the yellow costume at the agreed time were the signal for the success of a plan between M. de Louvois and the magistrates of Strasbourg, and the man carrying out this mission was as clueless about the motive as M. de Chamilly was about the purpose of his errand.
303Now this is a specimen of the safest of all secret communications; but it can only be resorted to on certain rare occasions. When a lengthy dispatch is required to be forwarded, and when such means as those given above are out of the question, some other method must be employed. Herodotus gives us a story to the point; it is found also, with variations, in Aulus Gellius:—
303Now this is an example of the safest type of secret communication; however, it should only be used on rare occasions. When a long message needs to be sent, and the methods mentioned above are not possible, a different approach must be taken. Herodotus shares a relevant story, which can also be found, with variations, in Aulus Gellius:—
“Histiæus, when he was anxious to give Aristagoras orders to revolt, could find but one safe way, as the roads were guarded, of making his wishes known; which was by taking the trustiest of his slaves, shaving all the hair from off his head, and then pricking letters upon the skin, and waiting till the hair grew again. This accordingly he did; and as soon as ever the hair was grown, he dispatched the man to Miletus, giving him no other message than this: ‘When thou art come to Miletus, bid Aristagoras shave thy head, and look thereon.’ Now the marks on the head were a command to revolt.”—(Bk. V. 35.)
“Histiæus, wanting to send Aristagoras orders to revolt, found only one safe way to communicate his intentions since the roads were guarded. He had one of his most trusted slaves head shaved, then carved letters into the skin, and waited for the hair to grow back. He did this and as soon as the hair had grown back, he sent the man to Miletus with no other message than this: ‘When you arrive in Miletus, tell Aristagoras to shave your head and look at it.’ The marks left on the head were a command to revolt.”—(Bk. V. 35.)
Is this case no cipher was employed. We shall come now to the use of ciphers.
Is this case, no cipher was used. Now, let's move on to the use of ciphers.
When a dispatch or communication runs great risk of falling into the hands of the enemy, it is necessary that its contents should be so veiled that the possession of the document may afford him no information whatever. Julius Cæsar and Augustus used ciphers, but they were of the utmost simplicity, as they consisted merely in placing D in the place of A; E in that of B and so on; or else in writing B for A, and C for B, &c.
When a message or communication is at high risk of being captured by the enemy, it's important that its content is hidden enough so that whoever has the document gains no useful information. Julius Caesar and Augustus used ciphers, but they were very simple, just substituting D for A, E for B, and so on; or writing B for A, C for B, etc.
Secret characters were used at the Council of Nicæa; and Rabanus Maurus, Abbot of Fulda and Archbishop of Mayence, in the Ninth Century, has left us an example of two ciphers, the key to which was discovered by the Benedictines. It is only a wonder that any one could have failed to unravel them at the first glance. This is a specimen of the first:—
Secret characters were used at the Council of Nicaea; and Rabanus Maurus, Abbot of Fulda and Archbishop of Mainz, in the Ninth Century, left us an example of two ciphers, the key to which was found by the Benedictines. It's amazing that anyone could have failed to decode them at first glance. This is a sample of the first:—
304The clue to this is the suppression of the vowels and the filling of their places by dots—one for i, two for a, three for e, four for o, and five for u. In the second example, the same sentence would run—Knckpkt vfrsxs Bpnkfbckk, &c., the vowel places being filled by the consonants—b, f, k, p, x. By changing every letter in the alphabet, we make a vast improvement on this last; thus, for instance, supplying the place of a with z, b with x, c with v, and so on. This is the very system employed by an advertiser in a provincial paper, which we took up the other day in the waiting-room of a station, where it had been left by a farmer. As we had some minutes to spare, before the train was due, we spent them in deciphering the following:—
304The key here is the omission of vowels, replaced by dots—one for i, two for a, three for e, four for o, and five for u. In the second example, the same sentence would look like this—Knckpkt vfrsxs Bpnkfbckk, &c., where the vowel positions are filled by the consonants—b, f, k, p, x. By substituting every letter in the alphabet, we can greatly enhance this; for instance, replacing a with z, b with x, c with v, and so on. This is the exact method used by an advertiser in a local paper that we came across recently in a train station waiting room, left there by a farmer. Since we had a few minutes to kill before the train arrived, we spent that time trying to decode the following:—
Jp Sjddjzbrza rzdd ci sijmr. Bziw rzdd xrndzt, and in ten minutes we read: “If William can call or write, Mary will be glad.”
Jp Sjddjzbrza rzdd ci sijmr. Bziw rzdd xrndzt, and in ten minutes we read: “If William can call or write, Mary will be glad.”
When the Chevalier de Rohan was in the Bastile his friends wanted to convey to him the intelligence that his accomplice was dead without having confessed. They did so by passing the following words into his dungeon written on a shirt: “Mg dulhxecclgu ghj yxuj; lm et ulge alj.” In vain did he puzzle over the cipher, to which he had not the clue. It was too short; for the shorter a cipher letter, the more difficult it is to make out. The light faded, and he tossed on his hard bed, sleeplessly revolving the mystic letters in his brain; but he could make nothing out of them. Day dawned, and with its first gleam he was poring over them; still in vain. He pleaded guilty, for he could not decipher “Le prisonnier est mort; il n’a rien dit.”
When the Chevalier de Rohan was in the Bastille, his friends wanted to inform him that his accomplice had died without confessing. They did this by sending the following words into his cell written on a shirt: “Mg dulhxecclgu ghj yxuj; lm et ulge alj.” He struggled to decipher the code, but he had no clues. It was too short; the shorter a code is, the harder it is to figure out. The light faded, and he tossed and turned on his hard bed, sleeplessly trying to make sense of the mysterious letters in his mind, but he couldn't figure them out. Day broke, and with the first light, he was still staring at them, but to no avail. He ultimately admitted defeat because he couldn’t decipher “The prisoner is dead; he didn't say anything..”
A curious instance of cipher occurred at the close of the sixteenth century, when the Spaniards were endeavoring to establish relations between the scattered branches of their vast monarchy, which at that period embraced a large portion of Italy, the Low Countries, the Philippines, and enormous districts in the New World. They accordingly invented a cipher, which they varied from time to time, in order to disconcert those who 305might attempt to pry into the mysteries of their correspondence. The cipher, composed of fifty signs, was of great value to them through all the troubles of the “Ligue,” and the wars then desolating Europe. Some of their dispatches having been intercepted, Henry IV. handed them over to a clever mathematician, Viete, with the request that he would find the clue. He did so, and was able also to follow it as it varied, and France profited for two years by his discovery. The Court of Spain, disconcerted at this, accused Viete before the Roman Court as a sorcerer and in league with the devil. This proceeding only gave rise to laughter and ridicule.
A curious case of a cipher happened at the end of the sixteenth century when the Spanish were trying to establish communication between the scattered parts of their enormous empire, which at that time included a large part of Italy, the Low Countries, the Philippines, and vast territories in the New World. They created a cipher, changing it from time to time to confuse anyone who might try to uncover the secrets of their correspondence. The cipher, made up of fifty signs, was extremely useful to them during all the turmoil of the “Ligue” and the wars ravaging Europe. When some of their messages were intercepted, Henry IV gave them to a skilled mathematician, Viete, asking him to find the key. He managed to do so and was able to track it as it changed, allowing France to benefit from his discovery for two years. The Spanish court, frustrated by this, accused Viete before the Roman Court of being a sorcerer in league with the devil. This only led to laughter and mockery.
A still more remarkable instance is that of a German professor, Herman, who boasted, in 1752, that he had discovered a cryptograph absolutely incapable of being deciphered without the clue being given by him; and he defied all the savants and learned societies of Europe to discover the key. However, a French refugee, named Beguelin, managed after eight days’ study to read it. The cipher—though we have the rules upon which it is formed before us—is to us perfectly unintelligible. It is grounded on some changes of numbers and symbols; the numbers vary, being at one time multiplied, at another added, and become so complicated that the letter e, which occurs nine times in the paragraph, is represented in eight different ways; n is used eight times, and has seven various signs. Indeed, the same letter is scarcely ever represented by the same figure. But this is not all; the character which appears in the place of i takes that of n shortly after; another Symbol for n stands also for t. How any man could have solved the mystery of this cipher is astonishing.
A truly remarkable example is that of a German professor, Herman, who claimed in 1752 that he had created a cryptograph that couldn’t be deciphered without his clue. He challenged all the scholars and academic societies in Europe to find the key. However, a French refugee named Beguelin managed to read it after eight days of study. The cipher—though we have the rules for how it's constructed—is completely incomprehensible to us. It relies on various changes of numbers and symbols; the numbers fluctuate, being sometimes multiplied, sometimes added, becoming so complicated that the letter e, which appears nine times in the paragraph, is represented in eight different ways; n appears eight times and has seven different symbols. In fact, the same letter is rarely shown by the same symbol. But that’s not all; the character that represents i also stands in for n shortly after; another symbol for n also represents t. It’s astonishing how anyone could have unraveled the mystery of this cipher.
All these cryptographs consist in the exchange of numbers of characters for the real letters; but there are other methods quite as intricate, which dispense with them.
All these cryptographs involve swapping numbers of characters for actual letters; however, there are other methods that are just as complex, which do without them.
The mysterious cards of the Count de Vergennes are an instance. De Vergennes was Minister of Foreign Affairs 306under Louis XVI., and he made use of cards of a peculiar nature in his relations with the diplomatic agents of France. These cards were used in letters of recommendation or passports, which were given to strangers about to enter France; they were intended to furnish information without the knowledge of the bearers. This was the system. The card given to a man contained only a few words, such as:—
The mysterious cards of Count de Vergennes are a prime example. De Vergennes was the Minister of Foreign Affairs under Louis XVI, and he used unique cards in his dealings with France's diplomatic agents. These cards were included in letters of recommendation or passports given to foreigners entering France; they were meant to provide information without the bearers' awareness. This was the system in place. The card given to a person contained only a few words, such as:—
The card told more tales than the words written on it. Its color indicated the nation of the stranger. Yellow showed him to be English; red, Spanish; white, Portuguese; green, Dutch; red and white, Italian; red and green, Swiss; green and white, Russian; &c. The person’s age was expressed by the shape of the card. If it were circular, he was under 25; oval, between 25 and 30; octagonal, between 30 and 45; hexagonal, between 45 and 50; square, between 50 and 60; an oblong showed that he was over 60. Two lines placed below the name of the bearer indicated his build. If he were tall and lean, the lines were waving and parallel; tall and stout, they converged; and so on. The expression of his face was shown by a flower in the border. A rose designated an open and amiable countenance, whilst a tulip marked a pensive and aristocratic appearance. A fillet round the border, according to its length, told whether he were bachelor, married, or widower. Dots gave information as to his position and fortune. A full stop after his name showed that he was a Catholic; a semicolon, that he was a Lutheran; a comma, that he was a Calvinist; a dash, that he was a Jew; no stop indicated him an Atheist. So also his morals and character were pointed out by a pattern in the card. So, at one glance the Minister could tell all about his man, whether he were a gamester or a duelist; what was his purpose in visiting France; whether in search 307of a wife or to claim a legacy; what was his profession—that of physician, lawyer, or man of letters; whether he were to be put under surveillance or allowed to go his way unmolested.
The card revealed more stories than just the words written on it. Its color indicated the country of the stranger. Yellow showed he was English; red, Spanish; white, Portuguese; green, Dutch; red and white, Italian; red and green, Swiss; green and white, Russian; etc. The person’s age was reflected in the shape of the card. If it was circular, he was under 25; oval, between 25 and 30; octagonal, between 30 and 45; hexagonal, between 45 and 50; square, between 50 and 60; an oblong indicated he was over 60. Two lines below the name described his build. If he was tall and slim, the lines were wavy and parallel; tall and heavy, they converged; and so on. The expression on his face was shown by a flower in the border. A rose indicated an open and friendly expression, while a tulip represented a thoughtful and aristocratic look. A ribbon around the border, depending on its length, indicated whether he was single, married, or a widower. Dots provided information about his status and wealth. A period after his name meant he was a Catholic; a semicolon meant he was a Lutheran; a comma indicated he was a Calvinist; a dash showed he was Jewish; no punctuation suggested he was an atheist. His morals and character were also suggested by a pattern on the card. So, at a glance, the Minister could learn everything about the man, whether he was a gambler or a duelist; what his purpose for visiting France was; whether he was looking for a wife or to claim an inheritance; what his profession was—whether he was a doctor, lawyer, or writer; whether he needed to be watched or could go about his business freely.
We come now to a class of cipher which requires a certain amount of literary dexterity to conceal the clue.
We now arrive at a type of cipher that demands some literary skill to hide the clue.
During the Great Rebellion, Sir John Trevanion, a distinguished cavalier, was made prisoner, and locked up in Colchester Castle. Sir Charles Lucas and Sir George Lisle had just been made examples of, as a warning to “malignants:” and Trevanion had every reason for expecting a similar bloody end. As he awaits his doom, indulging in a hearty curse in round cavalier terms at the canting, crop-eared scoundrels who hold him in durance vile, and muttering a wish that he had fallen, sword in hand, facing the foe, he is startled by the entrance of the jailor, who hands him a letter:
During the Great Rebellion, Sir John Trevanion, a well-known cavalier, was captured and locked up in Colchester Castle. Sir Charles Lucas and Sir George Lisle had just been executed as a warning to “malignants,” and Trevanion had every reason to expect a similar bloody fate. While waiting for his doom, he curses the sneaky, crop-eared scoundrels who have imprisoned him and wishes he had died fighting the enemy. Suddenly, he is surprised by the jailer who comes in and hands him a letter:
“May’t do thee good,” growls the fellow; “it has been well looked to before it was permitted to come to thee.”
“Maybe it will help you,” the guy grumbles; “it was carefully checked before it was allowed to reach you.”
Sir John takes the letter, and the jailor leaves him his lamp by which to read it:—
Sir John takes the letter, and the jailer leaves him his lamp so he can read it:—
Worthie Sir John:—Hope, that is ye best comport of ye afflictyd, cannot much, I fear me, help you now. That I wolde saye to you, is this only: if ever I may be able to requite that I do owe you, stand not upon asking of me. ’Tis not much I can do; but what I can do, bee verie sure I wille. I knowe that, if dethe comes, if ordinary men fear it, it frights not you, accounting it for a high honour, to have such a rewarde of your loyalty. Pray yet that you may be spared this soe bitter, cup. I fear not that you will grudge any sufferings; only if it bie submission you can turn them away, ’tis the part of a wise man. Tell me, an if you can, to do for you any thinge that you would have done. The general goes back on Wednesday. Restinge your servant to command.
Sir John:—Hope, which is the best support for the afflicted, can't do much for you right now, I fear. What I want to say is this: if I ever have the chance to repay what I owe you, please don’t hesitate to ask me. It’s not much I can do, but I will certainly do what I can. I know that when death comes, while ordinary people fear it, you see it as a great honor to receive such a reward for your loyalty. Still, I hope you can avoid that bitter fate. I’m not worried about you resenting any suffering; just know that if you can avoid it through patience, that’s the mark of a wise man. Let me know if there's anything you want me to do for you. The general leaves on Wednesday. I remain your loyal servant.
Now this letter was written according to a preconcerted cipher. Every third letter after a stop was to tell. In this way Sir John made out—“Panel at east end of chapel slides.” On the following even, the prisoner begged to be allowed to pass an hour of private devotion in the chapel. By means of 308a bribe, this was accomplished. Before the hour had expired, the chapel was empty—the bird had flown.
Now this letter was written using a planned code. Every third letter after a stop was meant to convey a message. This way, Sir John figured out—“Panel at east end of chapel slides.” That evening, the prisoner requested to spend an hour in private prayer in the chapel. With a bribe, this was arranged. Before the hour was up, the chapel was empty—the bird had flown.
An excellent plan of indicating the telling letter or words is through the heading of the letter. “Sir,” would signify that every third letter was to be taken; “Dear Sir,” that every seventh; “My dear sir,” that every ninth was to be selected. A system, very early adopted, was that of having pierced cards, through the holes of which the communication was written. The card was then removed, and the blank spaces filled up. As for example:—
An effective way to signal the important letters or words is through the letter's heading. “Sir” would mean to take every third letter; “Dear Sir” would mean to take every seventh; and “My dear sir” would mean to take every ninth letter. An early system that was used involved using perforated cards, where the message was written through the holes. The card was then taken away, and the blank spaces were filled in. For example:—
My dear X.—[The] lines I now send you are forwarded by the kindness of the [Bearer], who is a friend. [Is not] the message delivered yet [to] my brother? [Be] quick about it, for I have all along [trusted] that you would act with discretion and dispatch.
Dear X.—The lines I'm sending you now are being delivered by the kindness of the [Bearer], who is a friend. Has the message not reached my brother yet? Please hurry, as I have always believed that you would handle this with care and speed.
Put your card over the note, and through the piercings you will read: “The Bearer is not to be trusted.”
Put your card over the note, and through the holes, you’ll read: “The Bearer is not to be trusted.”
Poe, in his story of “The Gold Bug,” gives some valuable hints on the interpretation of the most common cryptographs. He contends that the ingenuity of man can construct no enigma which the ingenuity of man cannot unravel. And he actually read several very difficult ciphers which were sent to him after the publication of “The Gold Bug.”
Poe, in his story "The Gold Bug," offers some useful tips on how to interpret the most common ciphers. He argues that human creativity can create no puzzle that human creativity can't solve. In fact, he read several very challenging ciphers that were sent to him after "The Gold Bug" was published.
But we saw, several years ago, a method which makes the message absolutely safe from detection. We will try to describe it.
But we saw, a few years back, a method that makes the message completely safe from being detected. We'll try to describe it.
Take a square sheet of paper of convenient size, say a foot square. Divide it by lines drawn at right angles into five hundred and seventy-six squares, twenty-six each way; in the upper horizontal row write the alphabet in its natural order, one letter in each square; in the second horizontal row write the alphabet, beginning with B. There will then be one square left at the end of this row; into this put A. Fill the third row by beginning with C, and writing A and B after Z at the end. So on until the whole sheet is filled. When completed, the table, if correct, will present this appearance. In the upper 309horizontal row, the alphabet in its natural order from left to right; in the left-hand vertical row, the same from top to bottom; and the diagonal, from upper right to lower left-hand corner, will be a line of Z’s.
Take a square sheet of paper that's easy to handle, like one that's a foot on each side. Divide it by drawing lines at right angles into five hundred and seventy-six squares, with twenty-six in each direction. In the top horizontal row, write the alphabet in its usual order, placing one letter in each square. In the second horizontal row, start with B and continue with the alphabet. There will be one square left at the end of this row; put A in that square. For the third row, start with C and then write A and B after Z at the end. Keep going until the entire sheet is filled. When you're done, the table, if done correctly, will look like this: in the top horizontal row, the alphabet in order from left to right; in the left vertical row, the same from top to bottom; and the diagonal from the upper right to the lower left corner will consist of Z’s.
Each party must have one of the tables. A key-word must be agreed upon, which may be any word in the English language, or from any other language if it can be represented by English letters, or, indeed, it may even be a combination of letters which spells nothing.
Each party must have one of the tables. A keyword must be agreed upon, which can be any word in the English language, from another language if it can be represented using English letters, or it can even be a random combination of letters that doesn't spell anything.
Now, to send a message, first write the message in plain English. Over it write the key-word, letter over letter, repeating it as many times as it is necessary to cover the message. Take a simple case as an illustration. Suppose the key-word to be Grant, and the message We have five days’ provisions. It should be placed thus:—
Now, to send a message, first write the message in plain English. Over it, write the keyword, letter by letter, repeating it as many times as needed to cover the message. Let’s take a simple example. Suppose the keyword is Grant, and the message is We have five days’ provisions. It should be arranged like this:—
Now find, in the upper horizontal row of the table, the first letter of the key-word, G, and in the left-hand vertical column, the first letter of the message, W. Run a line straight down from G, and one to the right from W, and in the angle where the two lines meet will be found the letter which must be written as the first letter of the cipher. With the second letter of the key-word, R, and the second letter of the message, E, find in the same way the second letter of the cipher.
Now locate the first letter of the key word, G, in the top horizontal row of the table, and the first letter of the message, W, in the left vertical column. Draw a straight line down from G and another line to the right from W. The letter where the two lines intersect will be the first letter of the cipher. For the second letter of the cipher, use the second letter of the key word, R, and the second letter of the message, E, and find it in the same manner.
The correspondent who receives the cipher goes to work to translate it thus:—He first writes over it the key-word, letter over letter, repeating it as often as necessary. Then finding in the upper row of his table the first letter of the key-word, he passes his pencil directly down until he comes to the first letter or the cipher; the letter opposite to it in the left vertical column is the first letter of the translation. Each of the succeeding letters is found in a similar way.
The person who gets the coded message starts translating it like this:—First, they write the key word over it, letter by letter, repeating it as many times as needed. Then, they look for the first letter of the key word in the top row of their table and draw a line straight down until they reach the first letter of the coded message; the letter directly across from it in the left vertical column is the first letter of the translation. They continue finding each of the following letters in the same way.
A third party, into whose hands such a cipher might fall, 310could not read it, though he possessed a copy of the table and knew how to use it, unless he knew the key-word. The chance of his guessing this is only one in millions. And there is no such thing as interpreting it by any other method, because there are no repetitions, and hence all comparison is at fault. That is to say, in the same cipher, in one place a letter, as for instance C may stand for one letter in the translation, and in another place C may stand for quite a different letter. This is the only kind of cryptograph we have ever seen which is absolutely safe.
A third party who might come across such a cipher wouldn’t be able to read it, even if they had a copy of the table and knew how to use it, unless they knew the key word. The chances of them guessing it are only one in millions. There's no way to interpret it by any other method, since there are no repetitions, making all comparisons inaccurate. In other words, in the same cipher, the letter C might represent one letter in one instance and a completely different letter in another. This is the only type of cipher we’ve ever encountered that is completely secure. 310
The Reason Why.
WHY THE GERMANS EAT SAUER-KRAUT.
The reason why the most learned people on earth eat sauer-kraut may be found in the following extract from a work entitled Petri Andreæ Matthioli Senensis medici commentarii in sex libros Pedacii Dioscoridis de Materiâ Medica. Venetiis. ex officina Valgrisiana MDLXV. Traduit de Latin en Francais, par M. Antoine du Pinot. Lyon, MDCLV. Preface, p. 13. ligne 30: “Finally, in order to omit nothing which can add to the knowledge of simples, it must be noted that Nature, mother and producer of all things, has created various simples, which have a sympathy or natural antipathy to each other; which is a very considerable point in this matter, and has no like as a mystery and secret. And thus it has seemed to me good to hint a word about it, and principally of those which are used in medicine. To commence, then, with the oak and the olive; these two trees hate each other in such sort that, if you plant one in the hole from which the other was dug, it will die there; and, even if you plant one near the other, they will work each other’s death. The cabbage and the vine do the like; for it has been seen that, if you plant a cabbage at the foot of a vine, 311the vine will recoil and draw itself away. And thus it is no marvel that the cabbage is very useful to sober topers, and that the Germans eat it commonly in a compost to safeguard themselves from their wine.”
The reason why the smartest people on earth eat sauerkraut can be found in the following excerpt from a work titled Petri Andreæ Matthioli, a doctor from Siena, commentaries on the six books of Pedanius Dioscorides' On Medical Material. Venice, printed by the Valgrisiana press. MDLXV. Translated from Latin to French by Mr. Antoine du Pinot. Lyon, MDCLV. Preface, p. 13. line 30: “Finally, to cover everything that can enhance the understanding of simple substances, it should be noted that Nature, the mother and creator of everything, has made various simple substances that have a natural attraction or aversion to each other; this is a significant point and holds a mystery and secret of its own. Therefore, I think it’s good to mention it, especially regarding those used in medicine. To start, consider the oak and the olive; these two trees are so hostile to each other that if you plant one in the hole where the other was removed, it will die there; and even if you plant them close together, they will cause each other's demise. The cabbage and the vine behave similarly; it has been observed that if you plant a cabbage at the base of a vine, the vine will recoil and try to distance itself. So, it's no surprise that cabbage is very helpful for sober drinkers, and that Germans commonly eat it in a compost to protect themselves from their wine.”
WHY PENNSYLVANIA WAS SETTLED.
HUGUENOTS.
They were so called because their first places of meeting in the city of Tours (where Calvin’s opinions first prevailed) were cellars under-ground, near Hugo’s Gate [Heb. XI. 38], whence the vulgar applied this name to them.
They were called that because their first meeting spots in the city of Tours (where Calvin's ideas first took hold) were cellars underground, close to Hugo's Gate [Heb. XI. 38], which is where the general public started using this name for them.
ROYAL DEMISE.
BOSTON.
In the seventh century a Roman Catholic monk by the name of Botolph, or Bot-holp, viz., Boat-help, founded a church in what is now Lincolnshire, England. Gradually a town grew up around the church, and was called Botolphstown, which was afterward contracted into Botolphston, and then shortened to Botoston, and finally to Boston. From that town of Boston in Lincolnshire came to America the Rev. John Cotton, who gave the name to the New England Capital. So that the metropolis of good old Puritan Massachusetts was, it seems, named in honor of a Roman Catholic saint and monk!
In the seventh century, a Roman Catholic monk named Botolph, or Bot-holp, meaning Boat-help, established a church in what is now Lincolnshire, England. Over time, a town developed around the church and was called Botolphstown, which was later shortened to Botolphston, then to Botoston, and finally to Boston. From that town in Lincolnshire, the Rev. John Cotton came to America and named the New England capital after it. So, it seems the metropolis of good old Puritan Massachusetts was named in honor of a Roman Catholic saint and monk!
WEATHERCOCKS.
The vane or weathercock must have been of very early origin. Vitruvius calls it triton, evidently from an ancient form. The usual form on towers and castles was that of a banner; but on ecclesiastical edifices, it generally was a weathercock. There was a symbolical reason for the adoption of the figure of a cock. The cross was surmounted by a ball, to symbolize the redemption of the world by the cross of Christ; and the cock was placed upon the cross in allusion to the repentance of St. Peter, and to remind us of the important duties of repentance and Christian vigilance. Apart from symbolism, the large tail of the cock is well adapted to turn with the wind, just as is the arrow which is so frequently chosen.
The weathervane or weathercock must have originated very early on. Vitruvius refers to it as triton, clearly coming from an ancient version. The typical style on towers and castles was a banner; however, on religious buildings, it was usually a weathercock. There was a symbolic reason for using the figure of a rooster. The cross was topped with a ball, representing the world's redemption through Christ's cross; and the rooster was placed on the cross to reference St. Peter's repentance and to remind us of the vital duties of repentance and vigilance in our Christian faith. Besides its symbolism, the rooster's large tail is well-suited to catch the wind, similar to the arrow that is often used.
CUTTING OFF WITH A SHILLING.
According to Blackstone (ii. 32), the Romans were wont to set aside testaments as being inofficiosa, deficient in natural duty, if they disinherited or totally passed by (without assigning a true and sufficient reason) any of the children of the testator. But if the child had any legacy, though ever so small, it was a proof that the testator had not lost his memory or his reason, which otherwise the law presumed; but was then supposed to have acted thus for some substantial cause, and in such case no querula inofficiosi testamenti was allowed. Hence, probably, has arisen that groundless error of the necessity of leaving the heir a shilling, or some such express legacy, in order to disinherit him effectually. Whereas the law of England makes no such constrained suppositions of forgetfulness or insanity; and, therefore, though the heir or next of kin be totally omitted, it admits no querula inofficiosi to set aside such a testament.
According to Blackstone (ii. 32), the Romans would often invalidate wills as being unofficial, lacking in natural duty, if they disinherited or completely ignored (without providing a valid reason) any of the testator's children. However, if a child received any inheritance, no matter how small, it served as evidence that the testator had not lost their memory or reasoning, which the law would otherwise assume; it was then thought that the testator acted for a legitimate reason, and in that case, no complaining about a will was permitted. This likely led to the unfounded belief that it was necessary to leave the heir a shilling or some similar specific legacy to effectively disinherit them. In contrast, English law does not make such forced assumptions of forgetfulness or insanity, so even if the heir or next of kin is entirely left out, it does not allow for a querulous and ungrateful to nullify the will.
CARDINAL’S RED HAT.
The red hat was given to cardinals by Pope Innocent IV., in the first Council of Lyons, held in 1245, to signify that by that color they should be always ready to shed their blood in defence of the church.
The red hat was given to cardinals by Pope Innocent IV during the first Council of Lyons, held in 1245, to signify that by that color they should always be ready to shed their blood in defense of the church.
THE ROAST BEEF OF ENGLAND.
A SENSIBLE QUACK.
An empiric was asked by a regular physician how it was that, without education or skill, he contrived to live in considerable style, while he could hardly subsist. “Why” said the other, “how many people do you think have passed us lately?” “Perhaps a hundred.” “And how many of them do you think possess common sense?” “Possibly one.” “Why, then,” said the quack, “that one goes to you, and I get the other ninety-nine.”
An uneducated person was asked by a regular doctor how he managed to live quite well, even though he barely made a living. “Well,” said the other, “how many people do you think have walked by us recently?” “Maybe a hundred.” “And out of those, how many do you think have common sense?” “Probably one.” “Then,” said the fraud, “that one goes to you, and I get the other ninety-nine.”
GENEALOGY.
The doggerel couplet repeated in varied forms but usually presented in this shape—
The simple rhyming couplet is repeated in different versions but usually looks like this—
is a translation of the German
is a translation of the German
which is further referred to a wag who had written the couplet on a wall near to which the Emperor Maximilian was tracing 314his pedigree; upon which the Emperor wrote the following impromptu:—
which is further referred to a joker who had written the couplet on a wall near where Emperor Maximilian was tracing his family tree; upon which the Emperor wrote the following impromptu:—
A JUGGLER’S MYSTERY.
The French Government, which formerly sent dancing-girls and comic actors to cheer up its soldiers when they were ordered away from the dancing-saloons and theatres, so common throughout France, engaged Mr. Robert Houdin to go to Algeria and exhibit his best feats of legerdemain before the natives, to shake the excessive influence exerted by the marabouts or priests, whose power seems to be established solely on their adroit jugglery. The marabouts were not disposed to yield to the new-comer’s powers without a struggle, and pressed him as hard as they could. M. Houdin was successful, but his victory was not altogether easy, as he tells in the following narrative:—
The French Government, which used to send dancers and comedians to entertain its soldiers when they were taken away from the dance halls and theaters that were so common throughout France, hired Mr. Robert Houdin to go to Algeria and showcase his best magic tricks to the locals, to counter the strong influence held by the marabouts or priests, whose power seems to be based solely on their skillful tricks. The marabouts were not willing to give up to the newcomer’s abilities without a fight, and they challenged him as fiercely as they could. M. Houdin achieved success, but his victory wasn’t easy, as he recounts in the following story:—
The marabout said to me: “I believe now in your supernatural power. You are really a sorcerer. I hope, therefore, you will not refuse to repeat here an exhibition of your powers made on your stage.” He gave me two pistols, which he had concealed under his bournous, and said: “Choose one of those pistols; we are going to load it, and I shall fire it at you. You have nothing to fear, since you know how to parry any bullet.” I confess I was for a moment dumb with embarrassment. I tried my best to think of some subterfuge, but I could think of nothing. Every eye was fixed on me, in expectation of my reply. The marabout was triumphant.
The marabout said to me, “I believe in your supernatural power now. You really are a sorcerer. I hope you won’t refuse to show your abilities here like you did on your stage.” He handed me two pistols that he had hidden under his bournous and said, “Choose one of these pistols; we’re going to load it, and I’ll shoot it at you. You have nothing to worry about since you know how to dodge any bullet.” I have to admit I was momentarily speechless with embarrassment. I tried my best to think of a way out, but nothing came to mind. Every eye was on me, waiting for my response. The marabout looked triumphant.
Bou Allem, who knew that my tricks were due solely to my adroitness, became angry that his guests should be annoyed in this barbarous way, and he scolded the marabout. I stopped him. An idea had struck me which would at least extricate me for the moment from my embarrassment. So I said to the marabout, speaking with all the assurance I could summon: 315“You know that I am not invulnerable unless I have a talisman on me. Unfortunately, I have left it at Algiers.” The marabout began to laugh incredulously. “Nevertheless,” I went on to say, “if I remain in prayer for six hours, I shall be able to make myself invulnerable to your pistol, even though I have no talisman. To-morrow morning, at eleven o’clock, I shall let you fire at me before all these Arabs, who are witnesses of your challenge.” Bou Allem, astonished to hear me make such a promise, came up and asked me in a low tone if I was speaking seriously, and if he should invite the Arabs to come the next day. I told him I was. I need not say I did not spend the night in prayers, but I worked for two hours to make myself invulnerable, and then satisfied with my success, I went to sleep with a great deal of pleasure, for I was horribly tired. We breakfasted before eight o’clock, the next morning; our horses were saddled, and our escort was waiting the signal of departure, which was to take place immediately after the famous experiment. The same persons who were present at the challenge the day before, were at the rendezvous, and a great many other Arabs who had heard of what was to take place, had come to witness it.
Bou Allem, who realized that my tricks were just due to my skills, got upset that his guests were being bothered in such a rude way, and he scolded the marabout. I stopped him. I had an idea that would at least help me out of my awkward situation for the moment. So I said to the marabout, trying to sound as confident as possible: 315“You know that I’m not invulnerable unless I have a talisman with me. Unfortunately, I left it in Algiers.” The marabout started laughing, not believing me. “However,” I continued, “if I pray for six hours, I’ll be able to make myself invulnerable to your pistol, even without a talisman. Tomorrow morning, at eleven o’clock, I’ll let you shoot at me in front of all these Arabs, who will witness your challenge.” Bou Allem, shocked by my promise, approached and quietly asked me if I was serious and if I should invite the Arabs to come the next day. I confirmed that I was serious. I should mention that I didn’t spend the night in prayer; instead, I worked for two hours to make myself invulnerable, and once I felt good about my success, I finally went to sleep, thoroughly exhausted. We had breakfast before eight o’clock the next morning; our horses were saddled, and our escort was waiting for the signal to leave, which would happen right after the big experiment. The same people who witnessed the challenge the day before were at the meeting point, and many other Arabs who had heard about the event came to watch it.
The pistols were brought. I made them observe the touch-hole was clear. The marabout put a good load of powder in the pistol and rammed it down well. I chose a ball from among the balls brought, I ostensibly put it in the pistol and rammed it thoroughly. The marabout kept a good eye on me: his honor was at stake. The second pistol was loaded as the first had been, and now came the trying moment. Trying indeed it was for everybody. For the Arabs around, uncertain how the experiment would end; for my wife, who had in vain begged me not to try the experiment which she was afraid of—and I confess it, trying for me, as my new trick was based on none of the expedients I had hitherto used, and I was afraid of some mistake, some treachery, some accident. Nevertheless, I stood fifteen paces in front of the marabout, without exhibiting the 316least emotion. The marabout instantly took up one of the pistols, and at the given signal he aimed deliberately at me. He fired. I caught the ball in my teeth. More irritated than ever, the marabout ran to snatch up the other pistol; I was quickest and I seized it. “You failed to draw blood from me,” said I to him; “now look, I am going to draw blood from that wall yonder.” I fired at a wall which had just been whitewashed; instantly a large clot of blood was seen on it. The marabout went up to it, put a finger on it, tasted it, and satisfied himself it was really blood. His arms fell down at his side, he hung his head, he was overcome. It was evident he doubted now of everything, even of the Prophet. The Arabs raised their hands to Heaven, muttered prayers, and looked at me with dread.
The pistols were brought over. I made sure the touch-hole was clear. The marabout loaded the pistol with a good amount of powder and packed it down well. I picked a ball from those brought and pretended to put it in the pistol, ramming it down thoroughly. The marabout was watching me closely; his reputation was on the line. The second pistol was loaded in the same way as the first, and now came the tense moment. It was definitely a test for everyone—uncertain for the Arabs around me, unsure of how the experiment would go; for my wife, who had begged me not to try this experiment out of fear, and honestly, it was nerve-wracking for me too since my new trick was unlike any methods I had used before, and I was worried about making a mistake, facing betrayal, or encountering an accident. Still, I stood fifteen paces in front of the marabout without showing any emotion. The marabout immediately picked up one of the pistols, and at the signal, he aimed directly at me. He fired. I caught the bullet in my teeth. More frustrated than ever, the marabout rushed to grab the other pistol, but I was faster and seized it first. “You couldn’t draw blood from me,” I told him; “now watch, I’m going to draw blood from that wall over there.” I shot at a wall that had just been whitewashed, and immediately a large blot of blood appeared on it. The marabout approached it, touched it with his finger, tasted it, and confirmed it was really blood. His hands dropped to his sides, he hung his head, and he felt defeated. It was clear he now doubted everything, even the Prophet. The Arabs raised their hands to Heaven, murmured prayers, and looked at me with fear.
This trick, however curious it may seem, is managed easily enough. I shall describe it. As soon as I was alone in my chamber, I took out of my pistol-case (which I carry with me wherever I go) a ball-mould. I took a card, turned up its corners and made a sort of recipient of it, in which I placed a lump of stearine, taken from one of the candles in the room. As soon as the stearine was melted, I mixed a little lamp-black with it—which I obtained by holding a knife over a lighted candle—and then I poured this composition into my ball-mould. If I had allowed the liquid stearine to become entirely cold, the ball would have been solid; but after ten or twelve seconds I reversed the mould, and the portion of the stearine which was not yet solid flowed out and left a hollow ball in the mould. This, by the way, is the mode in which the hollow candles used in the churches are made; the thickness of the sides depends on the time the melted stearine or wax is left in the mould. I wanted a second ball. I made it a little thicker than the first. I filled it with blood, and I closed the aperture with a drop of stearine. An Irishman had showed me years before, how to extract blood from the thumb without pain: I adopted his trick to fill my ball with blood. It is hard to believe how nearly these 317projectiles of stearine, colored with lamp-black, look like lead: they will deceive anybody, even when examined quite closely. The reader now clearly sees through the trick. While exhibiting the lead bullet to the spectators, I changed it for my hollow ball, and this last I ostensibly placed in the pistol. I rammed it down, to break the stearine into small pieces, which could not reach me at fifteen paces. As soon as the pistol was discharged, I opened my mouth and exhibited the lead ball between my teeth. The second pistol contained the ball filled with blood, which was broken to pieces on the wall, where it left the spot of blood, while the pieces of stearine could no where be found.
This trick, no matter how strange it may seem, is pretty easy to pull off. Let me explain it. As soon as I was alone in my room, I took out a ball-mold from my pistol case (which I carry with me everywhere). I took a card, folded up its corners to create a little container, and placed a chunk of stearin, which I got from one of the candles in the room. Once the stearin melted, I mixed in some lamp-black, which I got by holding a knife over a lit candle, and then poured this mixture into my ball-mold. If I had let the liquid stearin cool completely, the ball would have solidified; instead, after about ten or twelve seconds, I flipped the mold upside down, and the part of the stearin that hadn’t solidified flowed out, leaving a hollow ball inside the mold. By the way, this is how the hollow candles used in churches are made; the thickness of the sides depends on how long the melted stearin or wax is left in the mold. I wanted to make a second ball, and I made it a little thicker than the first. I filled it with blood and sealed the opening with a drop of stearin. An Irishman showed me years ago how to draw blood from my thumb without pain: I used his method to fill my ball with blood. It's hard to believe how much these stearin projectiles, dyed with lamp-black, resemble lead: they can fool anyone, even upon close inspection. The reader can now see how the trick works. While showing the lead bullet to the audience, I switched it for my hollow ball, which I pretended to load into the pistol. I pressed it down to break the stearin into small pieces that wouldn’t reach me from fifteen paces away. Once the pistol was fired, I opened my mouth and showed the lead ball between my teeth. The second pistol contained the ball filled with blood, which shattered against the wall, leaving a blood spot, while the pieces of stearin were nowhere to be found.
This is the whole mystery.
This is the whole puzzle.
Weather-Wisdom.
SHERIDAN’S RHYMING CALENDAR.
SIR HUMPHRY DAVY ON WEATHER-OMENS.
The late Sir Humphry Davy, one of the most successful modern explorers of the secrets of nature, was not above attending to, and explaining, the “weather-omens” which are derived from popular observation.
The late Sir Humphry Davy, one of the most successful modern explorers of nature's secrets, was not above paying attention to and explaining the “weather-omens” based on popular observations.
In his Salmonia he has the following dialogue between Haliens, (a fly-fisher,) Poietes, (a poet,) Physicus, (a man of science,) and Ornither, (a sportsman):—
In his Salmonia, he presents the following conversation among Haliens (a fly-fisher), Poietes (a poet), Physicus (a scientist), and Ornither (a sportsman):—
318Poiet.—I hope we shall have another good day to-morrow, for the clouds are red in the west.
318Poiet.—I hope we have another nice day tomorrow, because the clouds are red in the west.
Phys.—I have no doubt of it, for the red has a tint of purple.
Phys.—I'm sure of it because the red has a hint of purple.
Hal.—Do you know why this tint portends fine weather?
Hal.—Do you know why this color means good weather?
Phys.—The air, when dry, I believe, refracts more red, or heat-making rays; and as dry air is not perfectly transparent, they are again refracted in the horizon. I have generally observed a coppery or yellow sunset to foretell rain; but as an indication of wet weather approaching, nothing is more certain than a halo round the moon, which is produced by precipitated water; and the larger the circle, the nearer the clouds, and consequently the more ready to fall.
Phys.—I think dry air bends more red or heat-generating rays; and since dry air isn't completely clear, these rays are refracted again at the horizon. I've often noticed that a coppery or yellow sunset indicates rain is on the way; however, nothing signals incoming wet weather more reliably than a halo around the moon, which happens due to water droplets in the air. The bigger the circle, the closer the clouds are, and thus the more likely they are to produce rain.
Hal.—I have often observed that the old proverb is correct,—
Hal.—I've often noticed that the old saying is true,—
Can you explain this omen?
Can you explain this sign?
Phys.—A rainbow can only occur when the clouds containing or depositing the rain are opposite the sun,—and in the evening the rainbow is in the east, and in the morning in the west; and as our heavy rains, in this climate, are usually brought by the westerly wind, a rainbow in the west indicates that the bad weather is on the road, by the wind, to us; whereas the rainbow in the east proves that the rain in those clouds is passing from us.
Phys.—A rainbow can only appear when the clouds that are holding or dropping rain are opposite the sun. In the evening, the rainbow is in the east, and in the morning, it's in the west. Since our heavy rains in this climate usually come from the westerly wind, a rainbow in the west means bad weather is heading our way. On the other hand, a rainbow in the east shows that the rain in those clouds is moving away from us.
Poiet.—I have often observed that when the swallows fly high, fine weather is to be expected or continued; but when they fly low, and close to the ground, rain is almost surely approaching. Can you account for this?
Poiet.—I've often noticed that when swallows fly high, good weather is likely to come or continue; but when they fly low and close to the ground, rain is almost definitely on its way. Can you explain this?
Hal.—Swallows follow the flies and gnats, and flies and gnats usually delight in warm strata of air; and as warm air is lighter, and usually moister, than cold air, when the warm strata of air are high, there is less chance of moisture being thrown down from them by the mixture with cold air; but when the warm and moist air is close to the surface, it is almost certain that, as the cold air flows down into it, a deposition of water will take place.
Hal.—Swallows chase after flies and gnats, which tend to enjoy the warm layers of air; since warm air is lighter and usually more humid than cold air, when those warm layers are high up, there's less chance of moisture being condensed from them by mixing with cold air. However, when the warm and humid air is near the ground, it's almost guaranteed that when the cold air moves down into it, water will form.
319Poiet.—I have often seen sea-gulls assemble on the land, and have almost always observed that very stormy and rainy weather was approaching. I conclude that these animals, sensible of a current of air approaching from the ocean, retire to the land to shelter themselves from the storm.
319Poiet.—I've often seen seagulls gather onshore, and I've noticed that this usually happens right before bad storms and heavy rain. I think these birds can sense winds coming in from the ocean, so they head to land to protect themselves from the storm.
Orn.—No such thing. The storm is their element, and the little petrel enjoys the heaviest gale, because, living on the smaller sea-insects, he is sure to find his food in the spray of a heavy wave; and you may see him flitting above the edge of the highest surge. I believe that the reason of this migration of sea-gulls, and other sea-birds, to the land, is their security of finding food; and they may be observed at this time feeding greedily on the earth-worms and larvæ driven out of the ground by severe floods; and the fish, on which they prey in fine weather in the sea, leave the surface, and go deeper, in storms. The search after food, as we have agreed on a former occasion, is the principal cause why animals change their places. The different tribes of the wading birds always migrate when rain is about to take place; and I remember once, in Italy, having been long waiting, in the end of March, for the arrival of the double snipe in the Campagna of Rome, a great flight appeared on the 3d of April, and the day after heavy rain set in, which greatly interfered with my sport. The vulture, upon the same principle, follows armies; and I have no doubt that the augury of the ancients was a good deal founded upon the observation of the instincts of birds. There are many superstitions of the vulgar owing to the same source. For anglers, in spring, it is always unlucky to see single magpies; but two may be always regarded as a favorable omen; and the reason is, that in cold and stormy weather one magpie alone leaves the nest in search of food, the other remaining sitting upon the eggs or the young ones; but when two go out together it is only when the weather is warm and mild, and favorable for fishing.
Orn.—Not at all. The storm is their natural habitat, and the little petrel thrives in strong winds because it feeds on smaller sea insects, ensuring it finds food in the spray of crashing waves; you can see it darting just above the peak of the highest wave. I think the reason sea gulls and other sea birds migrate to land is that they can easily find food there; at this time, they can be seen eagerly eating earthworms and larvae that have been washed out of the ground by heavy floods. Meanwhile, the fish they typically hunt on calm days in the sea dive deeper during storms. As we've discussed before, the main reason animals move from one place to another is to search for food. Wading birds tend to migrate right before it rains; I remember one time in Italy when I waited a long time at the end of March for the double snipe to arrive in the Campagna of Rome. A big flock showed up on April 3rd, and the next day it started to rain heavily, which really disrupted my hunting. Similarly, vultures follow armies for the same reason; I believe that the ancient practice of augury was largely based on observing bird behavior. Many common superstitions come from the same source. For fishermen in the spring, it’s always seen as bad luck to spot a single magpie, while two of them together are considered a good sign. This is because, during cold and stormy weather, one magpie will leave the nest in search of food while the other stays to care for the eggs or young birds. When two go out together, it usually means the weather is warm and pleasant, making for better fishing conditions.
Poiet.—The singular connections of causes and effects to which you have just referred, make superstition less to be 320wondered at, particularly amongst the vulgar; and when two facts, naturally unconnected, have been accidentally coincident, it is not singular that this coincidence should have been observed and registered, and that omens of the most absurd kind should be trusted in. In the west of England, half a century ago, a particular hollow noise on the sea-coast was referred to a spirit or goblin called Bucca, and was supposed to foretell a shipwreck: the philosopher knows that sound travels much faster than currents in the air, and the sound always foretold the approach of a very heavy storm, which seldom takes place on that wild and rocky coast without a shipwreck on some part of its extensive shores, surrounded by the Atlantic.
Poiet.—The unique connections between causes and effects that you just mentioned make superstition less surprising, especially among the common people. When two unrelated events happen to coincide, it’s not unusual for that coincidence to be noticed and recorded, leading to belief in the most ridiculous omens. In the west of England, fifty years ago, a particular hollow noise on the coastline was attributed to a spirit or goblin called Bucca and was thought to predict a shipwreck. A philosopher understands that sound travels much faster than air currents, and that sound always indicated the arrival of a severe storm, which rarely occurs on that rugged coast without resulting in a shipwreck somewhere along its expansive shores, surrounded by the Atlantic.
SIGNS OF THE WEATHER.
The following signs of rain were given by Dr. Jenner,[14] in 1810, to a lady, in reply to her inquiry whether it would rain on the morrow:—
The following signs of rain were given by Dr. Jenner,[14] in 1810, to a lady, in response to her question about whether it would rain tomorrow:—
The following is taken from The Shepherd’s Calendar, 1683:
The following is taken from The Shepherd’s Calendar, 1683:
Signs of Rain, from Birds.—Sea and fresh-water fowls, such as cormorants, sea-gulls, moor-hens, &c. flying from sea or the fresh waters to land, show bad weather at hand; land fowls flying to waters, and those shaking, washing, and noisy, especially in the evening, denote the same; geese, ducks, coots, &c. picking, shaking, washing, and noisy; rooks and crows in flocks and suddenly disappearing; pyes and jays in flocks and very noisy; the raven or hooded-crow crying in the morning, with an interruption in its notes, or crows being very clamorous at evening; the heron, bittern, and swallow flying low; birds forsaking their food and flying to their nests; poultry going to rest or pigeons to their dove-house; tame fowls grubbing in the dust and clapping their wings; small birds seeming to duck and wash in the sand; the late and early crowing of the cock, and clapping his wings; the early singing of woodlarks; the early chirping of sparrows; the early note of the chaffinch near houses; the dull appearance of robin-redbreast near houses; peacocks and owls unusually clamorous.
Signs of Rain, from Birds.—Sea and freshwater birds, like cormorants, seagulls, moorhens, etc., flying from the sea or fresh waters to land indicate rainy weather ahead; land birds flying toward water, and those that are shaking, preening, and noisy, especially in the evening, signal the same; geese, ducks, coots, etc., foraging, shaking, preening, and noisy; rooks and crows flying in groups and then suddenly disappearing; magpies and jays in groups and very noisy; a raven or hooded crow calling in the morning with a break in its calls, or crows being very loud in the evening; herons, bitterns, and swallows flying low; birds abandoning their food and heading to their nests; poultry settling down for the night or pigeons going into their coops; domestic birds digging in the dust and flapping their wings; small birds appearing to dip and bathe in the sand; the early and late crowing of roosters, along with them flapping their wings; the early songs of woodlarks; the early chirping of sparrows; the first call of the chaffinch near houses; the dull behavior of the robin-redbreast near homes; peacocks and owls unusually noisy.
Of Wind, from Birds.—Sea and fresh-water fowls gathering in flocks to the banks, and there sporting, especially in the morning; wild geese flying high and in flocks, and directing their course eastward; coots restless and clamorous; the hoopoe loud in his note; the king’s fisher taking to land; rooks darting or shooting in the air, or sporting on the banks of fresh waters; and lastly, the appearance of the malefigie at sea, is a certain forerunner of violent winds, and (early in the morning) denotes horrible tempests at hand.
Of Wind, from Birds.—Sea and freshwater birds gathering in flocks by the banks, enjoying themselves, especially in the morning; wild geese flying high in groups and heading east; coots being restless and noisy; the hoopoe calling out loudly; the kingfisher coming to land; rooks diving or soaring in the air, or playing along the banks of freshwater; and finally, the sight of the malefigie at sea is a sure sign of strong winds and, early in the morning, indicates that terrible storms are approaching.
Of Fair Weather, from Birds.—Halcyons, sea-ducks, &c. leaving the land, and flocking to the sea; kites, herons, bitterns, and swallows flying high, and loud in their notes; lapwings 322restless and clamorous; sparrows after sunrise restless and noisy; ravens, hawks, and kestrils (in the morning) loud in their notes; robin-redbreast mounted high, and loud in his song; larks soaring high, and loud in their songs; owls hooting with an easy and clear note; bats appearing early in the evening.
Of Fair Weather, from Birds.—Halcyons, sea ducks, etc. are leaving the land and heading to the sea; kites, herons, bitterns, and swallows are flying high and singing loudly; lapwings are restless and noisy; sparrows are active and loud after sunrise; ravens, hawks, and kestrels (in the morning) are vocal; the robin is perched high and singing strongly; larks are soaring and singing loudly; owls are hooting with a clear, relaxed note; bats are coming out early in the evening.
Of Rain, from Beasts.—Asses braying more frequently than usual; hogs playing, scattering their food, or carrying straw in their mouths; oxen snuffing the air, looking to the south, while lying on their right sides, or licking their hoofs; cattle gasping for air at noon; calves running violently and gamboling; deer, sheep, or goats leaping, fighting, or pushing; cats washing their face and ears; dogs eagerly scraping up earth; foxes barking; rats and mice more restless than usual; a grumbling noise in the belly of hounds.
Of Rain, from Beasts.—Donkeys braying more often than usual; pigs playing, scattering their food, or carrying straw in their mouths; cows sniffing the air, looking to the south while lying on their right sides, or licking their hooves; cattle gasping for air at noon; calves running around wildly and frolicking; deer, sheep, or goats jumping, fighting, or pushing each other; cats cleaning their faces and ears; dogs eagerly digging in the ground; foxes barking; rats and mice more restless than usual; a grumbling noise in the bellies of the hounds.
Of Rain, from Insects.—Worms crawling out of the earth in great abundance; spiders falling from their webs; flies dull and restless; ants hastening to their nests; bees hastening home, and keeping close in their hives; frogs drawing nigh to houses, and croaking from ditches; gnats singing more than usual; but if gnats play in the open air, or if hornets, wasps, and glow-worms appear plentifully in the evening, or if spiders’ webs are seen in the air or on the grass, these do all denote fair and warm weather at hand.
Of Rain, from Insects.—Worms crawling out of the ground in large numbers; spiders dropping from their webs; flies sluggish and agitated; ants rushing to their nests; bees quickly returning home and staying close inside their hives; frogs approaching houses and croaking from ditches; gnats buzzing more than usual; but if gnats are active in the open air, or if hornets, wasps, and fireflies are seen in abundance in the evening, or if spider webs are visible in the air or on the grass, all of these indicate that nice warm weather is on the way.
Of Rain, from the Sun.—Sun rising dim or waterish; rising red with blackish beams mixed along with his rays; rising in a musty or muddy color; rising red and turning blackish; setting under a thick cloud; setting with a red sky in the east.
Of Rain, from the Sun.—Sun rising faint or watery; rising red with dark beams mixed in with his rays; rising in a dull or murky color; rising red and turning dark; setting under a thick cloud; setting with a red sky in the east.
Sudden rains never last long; but when the air grows thick by degrees, and the sun, moon, and stars shine dimmer and dimmer, then it is like to rain six hours usually.
Sudden rains never last long; but when the air gets thicker gradually, and the sun, moon, and stars shine dimmer and dimmer, then it usually rains for about six hours.
Of Wind, from the Sun.—Sun rising pale and setting red, with an iris; rising large in surface; rising with a red sky in the north; setting of a blood color; setting pale, with one or more dark circles, or accompanied with red streaks, seeming 323concave or hollow; seeming divided, great storms; parhelia, or mock suns, never appear but are followed by tempest.
Of Wind, from the Sun.—The sun rises pale and sets red, showing an array of colors; it rises large in size against a red sky in the north; it sets with a blood-red hue, and at times appears pale, with one or more dark circles or red streaks, looking concave or hollow; it seems divided, indicating great storms; parhelia, or false suns, only appear when a storm is approaching. 323
Of Fair Weather, from the Sun.—Sun rising clear, having set clear the night before; rising while the clouds about him are driving to the west; rising with an iris around him, and that iris wearing away equally on all sides, then expect fair and settled weather; rising clear and not hot; setting in red clouds, according to the old observation,—
Of Fair Weather, from the Sun.—The sun rises bright, having set clear the night before; rising while the clouds around it are moving west; rising with a halo around it, and that halo fading evenly on all sides, then expect good and stable weather; rising clear but not hot; setting in red clouds, according to the old observation,—
To the above may be added the following from a more recent source:—
To the above, we can add the following from a more recent source:—
As a rule, a circle around the moon indicates rain and wind. When seen with a north or northeast wind, we may look for stormy weather, especially if the circle be large; with the wind in any other quarter, we may expect rain; so also when the ring is small and the moon seems covered with mist. If, however, the moon rise after sunset, and a circle be soon after formed around it, no rain is foreboded. In the Netherlands they have this proverb:—
As a general rule, a circle around the moon suggests rain and wind. When it appears with a north or northeast wind, we should expect stormy weather, especially if the circle is large; if the wind is coming from any other direction, we can anticipate rain; this also applies when the ring is small and the moon looks misty. However, if the moon rises after sunset and a circle forms around it shortly afterward, it doesn't predict rain. In the Netherlands, they have this proverb:—
Een ring om de maan | (A ring round the moon |
Die kan vergaan; | May pass away soon; |
Maar een cirkel om de zon | But a ring round the sun |
Geef water in de ton. | Gives water in the tun.) |
An old astrologer, referring to St. Paul’s day, Jan. 25, says:—
An old astrologer, referring to St. Paul’s day, Jan. 25, says:—
Another, alluding to the Ember-day in December, says:—
Another, referring to the Ember Day in December, says:—
The following is from a manuscript in the British Museum:—
The following is from a manuscript in the British Museum:—
UNLUCKY DAYS.
The following list of the “evil days in each month” is translated from the original Latin verses in the old Sarum Missal:—
The following list of the “unlucky days in each month” is translated from the original Latin verses in the old Sarum Missal:—
January. | Of this first month, the opening day |
And seventh like a sword will slay. | |
February. | The fourth day bringeth down to death; |
The third will stop a strong man’s breath. | |
March. | The first the greedy glutton slays; |
The fourth cuts short the drunkard’s days. | |
April. | The tenth and the eleventh, too, |
Are ready death’s fell work to do. | |
May. | The third to slay poor man hath power; |
The seventh destroyeth in an hour. | |
June. | The tenth a pallid visage shows; |
No faith nor truth the fifteenth knows. | |
July. | The thirteenth is a fatal day; |
The tenth alike will mortals slay. | |
August. | The first kills strong ones at a blow; |
The second lays a cohort low. | |
September. | The third day of the month September, |
And tenth, bring evil to each member. | |
October. | The third and tenth, with poisoned breath, |
To man are foes as foul as death. | |
November. | The fifth bears scorpion-sting of deadly pain; |
The third is tinctured with destruction’s train. | |
December. | The seventh’s a fatal day to human life; |
The tenth is with a serpent’s venom rife. |
O. S. and N. S.
THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR.
The Julian calendar was framed about 46 years before Christ. Cæsar made the year consist of 365 days; and the annual excess of six hours, which amounted to one day in four years, was taken into account by making every fourth year (leap-year) consist of 366 days. But Cæsar’s correction of the calendar was imperfect, being founded on the supposition that the solar year consisted of 365 days, 6 hours, whereas the true solar year consists of 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, 45½ seconds. Thus the Julian year exceeded the solar 11 minutes 14½ seconds,—which amounted to a whole day in 130 years. In consequence of this inaccuracy, the vernal equinox, which happened on the 25th of March in the time of Julius Cæsar, had receded to the 21st of March in the year 325, and was fixed to that day by the Council of Nice. Attempts were afterwards made to effect some change in the calendar; but a complete reformation was not made until 1582. Pope Gregory XIII. invited to Rome the most learned astronomers of the age; and, after the subject had been discussed ten years, it was decreed that the vernal equinox, which had receded ten days since the Council of Nice, and consequently happened on the 11th of March, should be brought back to the 21st of March, and that for this purpose ten days should be taken from the month of October, 1582. To avoid future deviation, it was determined that instead of every 100th year being leap-year, every 400th year only should be leap-year. By this plan—a diminution of three days in 400 years—the error in the present calendar will not exceed a day and a half in five thousand years.
The Julian calendar was established about 46 years before Christ. Caesar made the year 365 days long, and the extra six hours each year, which added up to an extra day every four years, was accounted for by making every fourth year a leap year with 366 days. However, Caesar's adjustment to the calendar was not perfect since it was based on the assumption that the solar year was 365 days and 6 hours long, when in reality, the true solar year is 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 45.5 seconds. As a result, the Julian year was longer than the solar year by 11 minutes and 14.5 seconds, which added up to an extra day every 130 years. Because of this discrepancy, the vernal equinox, which occurred on March 25 during Julius Caesar’s time, had shifted to March 21 by the year 325, and it was fixed to that date by the Council of Nice. Attempts were later made to change the calendar, but a complete reform didn't happen until 1582. Pope Gregory XIII invited the most knowledgeable astronomers of the time to Rome, and after ten years of discussion, it was decided that the vernal equinox, which had shifted ten days since the Council of Nice and now occurred on March 11, should be brought back to March 21 by removing ten days from October 1582. To prevent future discrepancies, it was decided that instead of making every 100th year a leap year, only every 400th year would be a leap year. With this approach—a reduction of three days every 400 years—the error in the current calendar would not exceed a day and a half over five thousand years.
The calendar thus reformed by Pope Gregory was immediately introduced into Catholic countries, but was not finally 326adopted in Great Britain until 1752, when, by act of Parliament, eleven days were struck out of the calendar, the 3d of September being reckoned the 14th. The Greek Church still obstinately adheres to the old style.
The calendar that Pope Gregory reformed was quickly adopted in Catholic countries, but it wasn't fully accepted in Great Britain until 1752, when an act of Parliament removed eleven days from the calendar, making September 3rd count as the 14th. The Greek Church still stubbornly sticks to the old style.
RESULTS OF THE CHANGE IN THE STYLE.
The following happily-conceived address to the patrons of “Poor Job’s Almanac” was occasioned by the change of the style in 1752. The number of that year bears the title—
The following cheerful message to the supporters of "Poor Job’s Almanac" was prompted by the change of the calendar in 1752. The edition from that year has the title—
Poor Job, 1752. By Job Shepherd, philom. Newport. Printed by James Franklin,[15] at the Printing-office under the Town School-house. In this almanac the month of September has, in the margin, the figures of the successive days, commencing 1, 2; and, after leaving blank a space for eleven days, recommencing with 14, and continuing to the 30th.
Poor Job, 1752. By Job Shepherd, lover of knowledge. Newport. Printed by James Franklin,[15] at the Printing-office under the Town School-house. In this almanac, September features the numbers of the days in the margin, starting from 1, 2; and after leaving a blank space for eleven days, it starts again with 14 and goes through to the 30th.
Kind Reader:—You have now such a year as you never saw before, nor will see hereafter, the King and Parliament of Great Britain having thought proper to enact that the month of September, 1752, shall contain but nineteen days, which will shorten this year eleven days, and have extended the same throughout the British dominions; so that we are not to have two beginnings to our years, but the first of January is to be the first day and the first month of the year 1752; eleven days are taken from September, and begin 1, 2, 14, 15, &c. Be not astonished, nor look with concern, dear reader, at such a deduction of days, nor regret as for the loss of so much time; but take this for your consolation, that your expenses will perhaps appear lighter, and your mind be more at ease. And what an indulgence is here for those who love their pillows, to lie down in peace on the second of this month, and not perhaps awake or be disturbed till the fourteenth, in the morning! And, reader, this is not to hasten the payment of debts, freedom of apprentices or servants, or the coming to age of minors; but the number of natural days in all agreements are to be fulfilled. 327All Church holidays and Courts are to be on the same nominal days they were before; but fairs, after the second of September, alter the nominal days, and so seemed to be held eleven days later. Now, reader, since ’tis likely you may never have such another year nor such another almanac, I would advise you to improve the one for your own sake, and I recommend the other for the sake of your friend,
Dear Reader:—You are experiencing a year like none before and none to come, as the King and Parliament of Great Britain have decided that the month of September 1752 will only have nineteen days. This change shortens this year by eleven days and applies throughout the British territories; thus, the first of January will be the first day and the first month of 1752. Eleven days will be removed from September, specifically on the 1st, 2nd, 14th, 15th, and so on. Don't be surprised, nor worry, dear reader, about this reduction of days, nor grieve the loss of time; instead, take comfort in the fact that your expenses might feel lighter, and your mind can be more at ease. What a luxury this is for those who enjoy their sleep, allowing them to drift off peacefully on the second of the month and perhaps not wake until the morning of the fourteenth! And, reader, this doesn’t speed up debt payments, release apprentices or servants, or affect the age of minors; all naturally counted days in agreements will still apply. 327 All Church holidays and Courts will remain on the same nominal days as before; however, fairs after the second of September will shift nominal days, making them take place eleven days later. So, reader, since you’re unlikely to have another year or almanac quite like this one, I suggest you make the most of it for your own benefit, and I recommend it to your friend as well.
Memoria Technica.
NAMES AND ORDER OF THE BOOKS OF THE OLD TESTAMENT.
NAMES AND ORDER OF THE BOOKS OF THE NEW TESTAMENT.
NAMES OF SHAKSPEARE’S PLAYS.
ENGLISH SOVEREIGNS.
PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES.
THE DECALOGUE.
METRICAL GRAMMAR.
NUMBER OF DAYS IN EACH MONTH.
One of the most useful lessons taught us in early life by arithmetical treatises, is that of Grafton’s well-known lines in his Chronicles of England, 1590. Sir Walter Scott, in conversation with a friend, adverted jocularly to that ancient and respectable but unknown poet, who had given us this formula:—
One of the most helpful lessons we learned in early life from arithmetic books is from Grafton’s famous lines in his Chronicles of England, 1590. Sir Walter Scott, while chatting with a friend, humorously referred to that old and esteemed but unknown poet who provided us with this formula:—
The form used by the Quakers runs thus:—
The form used by the Quakers goes like this:—
Origin of Things Familiar.
MIND YOUR P’S AND Q’S.
It would be a curious thing, if they could be traced out, to ascertain the origin of half the quaint old sayings and maxims that have come down to the present time from unknown generations. Who, for example, was “Dick,” who had the odd-looking “hat-band,” and who has so long been the synonym or representative of oddly-acting people? Who knows any thing authentic of the leanness of “Job’s turkey,” who has so many followers in the ranks of humanity? Scores of other sayings there are, concerning which similar questions might be asked. Who ever knew, until comparatively late years, what was the origin of the cautionary saying, “Mind your P’s and Q’s”? A modern antiquarian, however, has put the world right in relation to that saying. In ale-houses, in the olden time, when chalk “scores” were marked upon the wall, or behind the door of the tap-room, it was customary to put the initials “P” and “Q” at the head of every man’s account, to show the number of “pints” and “quarts” for which he was in arrears; and we may presume many a friendly rustic to have tapped his neighbor on the shoulder, when he was indulging too freely in his potations, and to have exclaimed, as he pointed to the chalk-score, “Mind your P’s and Q’s, man! mind your P’s and Q’s!” The writer from whom we glean this information mentions an amusing anecdote in connection with it, which had its origin in London, at the time a “Learned Pig” was attracting the attention of half the town. A theatrical wag, who attended the porcine performances, maliciously set before the four-legged actor some peas,—a temptation which the animal could not resist, and which immediately occasioned him to lose the “cue” given him by the showman. The pig-exhibitor remonstrated with the author of the mischief on the unfairness of what he had done; to which he replied, “I only wanted to ascertain whether the pig knew his ‘peas’ from his ‘cues!’”
It would be interesting to figure out the origins of many of the quirky old sayings and maxims that have been passed down to us from generations we don’t know about. For instance, who was "Dick," who had that unusual "hat-band," and who has long been a stand-in for people who act strangely? Who has any real information about the lean nature of "Job’s turkey," which has so many fans among people? There are plenty of other sayings about which similar questions could be asked. Who really knew, until relatively recently, where the warning "Mind your P’s and Q’s" came from? A modern historian has clarified that saying, though. Back in the day at taverns, when they would mark chalk "scores" on the wall or behind the door of the pub, it was common to write the initials "P" and "Q" at the top of each man’s tab to indicate how many "pints" and "quarts" he owed; and we can imagine many a friendly local would tap his neighbor on the shoulder when he was drinking a bit too much and say, as he pointed to the chalk score, “Mind your P’s and Q’s, man! Mind your P’s and Q’s!” The writer from whom we got this information shares a funny story related to it, originating in London when a “Learned Pig” was drawing quite a crowd. A theatrical joker who attended the pig’s shows mischievously set some peas in front of the four-legged star—a temptation the pig couldn’t resist, causing him to miss the cue from the showman. The pig’s handler complained to the prankster about the unfairness of his actions, to which he replied, “I just wanted to see if the pig knew his ‘peas’ from his ‘cues!’”
ALL FOOLS’ DAY.
The First of April, as is well known, is distinguished in the calendar by the singular appellation of “All Fools’ Day.” It would be a curious exception to common experience, if, on the recurrence of this memorable epoch in the division of time, multitudes were not betrayed into a due observance of its peculiarities. Many grave and unsuspecting people have been sent upon the most frivolous and nonsensical errands. Many a passer-by has been told that there was something out of his pocket, which was his hand; or something on his face, which was his nose. Many a school-boy has been sent to the shoemaker’s for stirrup-oil, which he would get from a strap, across his shoulders; or to ask a schoolmistress for the biography of Eve’s mother; or to an old bachelor to purchase pigeon’s milk. Many a printer’s “devil” has been sent to a neighboring editor for a quart of editorial, and received in return a picture of a jackass; and many a pretty girl despatched to the handsome druggist round the corner for the essence of tulips (two-lips,) which she would sometimes box the pharmaceutic ears for offering to give her. Some would be summoned, upon the most unfounded pretexts, out of their warm beds, an hour or more before the accustomed time. Others were enticed to open packages, promising ample remuneration, but full of disappointment; and others again, as they passed along the streets, were captivated by the sight of pieces of spurious coin, which, when they essayed to lift, they found securely fastened to the pavement,—together with various other whimsicalities, which under other circumstances would have been deemed highly offensive, but, happening on the First of April, were considered, if not agreeable, at least comparatively harmless. The origin of this strange custom is shrouded in mystery. It has been traced by some to the scene in the life of Jesus when he was sent from Pilate to Herod, and back from Herod to Pilate, which occurred about this period.
The First of April, as everyone knows, is marked in the calendar by the unique title of “All Fools’ Day.” It would be quite unusual if, on the arrival of this notable date, lots of people weren’t led into following its quirks. Many serious and unsuspecting individuals have been sent on the most trivial and absurd errands. Countless passersby have been told that there was something out of their pocket, which was actually their hand; or something on their face, which was their nose. Many a schoolboy has been sent to the shoemaker’s for stirrup-oil, which he could get from a strap over his shoulders; or to ask a schoolmistress for the biography of Eve’s mother; or to an old bachelor to buy pigeon’s milk. Many a printer's “devil” has been sent to a nearby editor for a quart of editorial, only to receive a picture of a jackass in return; and many a pretty girl has been sent to the attractive druggist around the corner for the essence of tulips (two-lips), which she might sometimes reprimand him for offering her. Some would be called out of their warm beds, an hour or more before their usual time, for the most unfounded reasons. Others were lured into opening packages that promised great rewards but were full of disappointments; and others, as they walked along the streets, were captivated by the sight of fake coins, which, when they tried to pick them up, they found were firmly attached to the pavement—along with various other antics that, in different circumstances, would have been seen as highly offensive but, since they occurred on the First of April, were viewed as, if not pleasant, at least relatively harmless. The origin of this strange tradition is wrapped in mystery. Some have traced it back to the event in Jesus' life when he was sent from Pilate to Herod and back from Herod to Pilate, which happened around this time.
333Brady’s Clavis Calendaria, published in 1812, mentions that more than a century previous the almanacs designated the First of April as “All Fools’ Day.” In the northern counties of England and Scotland, the jokes on that day were practised to a great extent, and it scarcely required an apology to experiment upon the gravest and most respectable of city or country gentlemen and women. The person whose good nature or simplicity put him momentarily in the power of his facetious neighbor was called a “gowk”—and the sending upon ridiculous errands, “hunting the gowk.” The term “gowk” was a common expression for a cuckoo, which was reckoned among the silliest and simplest of all the feathered tribes.
333Brady’s Calendar Key, published in 1812, notes that more than a hundred years earlier, almanacs referred to April 1st as “All Fools’ Day.” In the northern counties of England and Scotland, pranks on that day were widespread, and it hardly needed an apology to play tricks on even the most serious and respectable men and women. The person whose good nature or naivety made them momentarily vulnerable to their playful neighbor was called a “gowk”—and sending them on silly errands was known as “hunting the gowk.” The term “gowk” was a common term for a cuckoo, which was considered one of the silliest and simplest birds around.
In France, the person made the butt upon these occasions was styled “un poisson d’Avril”—that is, an April fish—by implication, an April fool—“poisson d’Avril,” the familiar name of the mackerel, a fish easily caught by deception, singly and in shoals, at this season of the year. The term “April fool” was therefore, probably, nothing more than an easy substitution of that opprobrious epithet for fish, and it is quite likely that our ancestors borrowed the custom from France, with this change in the phrase peculiar to the occasion. It is possible, however, that it may have been derived from poison, mischief. Among the French, ridicule is the most successful weapon for correcting folly and holding vice in terrorem. A Frenchman is more afraid of a successful bon mot at his expense than of a sword, and the First of April is a day, therefore, of which he can make a double application: he may gratify his love of pleasantry among his friends, or inflict a severe wound on his enemies, if he possess the art and wit to invent and perpetrate a worthy piece of foolery upon them. One of the best tricks that ever occurred in France was that of Rabelais, who fooled the officers of justice, when he had no money, into conveying him from Marseilles to Paris on a charge of treason got up for the purpose, and, when arrived there, showing them how they were hoaxed. For this purpose he made up some brick-dust and ashes in different packets, labelled as poisons for the royal 334family of France. The bait took, and he was conveyed to the capital as a traitor, seven hundred miles, only to explain the joke.
In France, the person who played a prank on these occasions was called “April Fools' joke”—which means an April fish, implying an April fool—“April Fools' Day,” the common name for the mackerel, a fish that is easily caught through trickery, both alone and in schools, during this time of year. The term “April fool” likely originated as a straightforward replacement of that derogatory term for fish, and it’s quite possible our ancestors adopted the tradition from France, making this slight change in the phrase for the occasion. However, it may also stem from toxin, meaning mischief. In France, ridicule is the most effective tool for correcting foolishness and keeping vice in check. A Frenchman fears a clever witty remark aimed at him more than a sword, making April 1st a day for double meanings: he can enjoy humor with friends or deliver a sharp sting to his enemies, if he has the skill and wit to create and carry out a clever trick against them. One of the best pranks in France was by Rabelais, who tricked law enforcement officers into transporting him from Marseilles to Paris on a made-up treason charge when he didn’t have any money. Upon arriving, he revealed how they had been fooled. To pull this off, he prepared some brick dust and ashes in various packets, labeled as poisons intended for the royal 334family of France. The scheme worked, and he was taken to the capital as a traitor, covering seven hundred miles, just to explain the joke.
There is a very common practical joke on fools’ day in the British metropolis: it consists in despatching a letter by an unlucky dupe, who is to wait for an answer. The answer is a second note, to a third person, “to send the fool farther.” A young surgeon, a greenhorn in practice, fresh from St. Bartholomew’s, his instruments unfleshed on his own account, and his surgery bottles full to repletion, was called a few years ago from the Strand to a patient in Newgate Street, very rich, named Dobbs. It was the First of April, and it was his first patient. The young Esculapius was ushered into the presence of the supposed patient, who was busy writing in his counting-house. The surgeon explained his errand, and Mr. Dobbs, having an excellent mercantile discernment, soon saw through the affair. He bowed and said, “It is a mistake, sir: my name is Dobbs, but I am, thank God, hale and hearty. It is my brother, the sugar-baker, on Fish Street Hill, that has sent for you, [carriage or horse he had none,] three-fourths of a mile farther.” He entered among the pyramids of snowy sweets, and found Mr. Dobbs, the sugar-baker, of Fish Street Hill, as hale as his brother of Newgate Street. The refiner of saccharine juice understood his brother’s note, stammered out a pretended apology for the mistake, and said he supposed, as the young man’s directions were to Mr. J. Dobbs, and not Mr. Jeffry Dobbs, that was intended; that his name was Jeffry, but his brother John, a third member of the family, and in his business, lived at Limehouse, whither he thought, if our surgeon proceeded, he would find the person he sought. An address was handed the young tourniquet at the extreme end of Limehouse, which address, it is needless to say, was false. What will not a surgeon do to obtain his first patient, and a rich one too? Away he posted to Limehouse, and soon found how far he had travelled for nothing. Tired and disappointed, and scheming vengeance on the authors of the hoax, he set off on 335his return home, cursing the Dobbs family every step he went. As he passed along Upper Shadwell, he saw a horse gallop furiously down Chamomile Street and fling its rider a heavy fall on the pavement. He ran and lifted the fallen man, whom he found insensible. He conveyed him to a shop hard by, bled him, and had the satisfaction of seeing him open his eyes. Suffice it to say that, on being conveyed home, our young surgeon attended him until he was restored to health; and so gratefully were his exertions received by the stranger, who was a rich East India merchant, far advanced in life, that he took him into his house as a medical attendant and friend, and ultimately left him the bulk of his property. Thus, out of an intended Fools’ Day hoax, by the inscrutable caprice of fortune, a frolic led its dupe to wealth. This anecdote, according to the London Athenæum, may be depended on as true, nothing in the story but the name adopted, to conceal the real actors in the drama, being fictitious.
There’s a popular prank on April Fool’s Day in London: it involves sending a letter through an unsuspecting person who has to wait for a reply. The response is a second note directed to a third person, “to send the fool further along.” A young surgeon, new to practice and fresh out of St. Bartholomew’s, with his instruments unused and his surgery bottles fully stocked, was called a few years ago from the Strand to see a wealthy patient named Dobbs on Newgate Street. It was April 1st, and this was his very first patient. The young doctor was ushered into the presence of the supposed patient, who was busy writing in his office. The surgeon explained why he was there, and Mr. Dobbs, having sharp business sense, quickly realized what was going on. He bowed and replied, “You’ve got the wrong person, sir: my name is Dobbs, but thankfully I’m fit and healthy. It’s my brother, the sugar baker on Fish Street Hill, who sent for you, [he didn’t have a carriage or horse], three-quarters of a mile further.” He entered the shop filled with sugary treats and found Mr. Dobbs, the sugar baker, just as healthy as his brother on Newgate Street. The sugar refiner understood his brother’s note, awkwardly apologized for the confusion, and mentioned that since the young man’s instructions were for Mr. J. Dobbs and not Mr. Jeffry Dobbs, that was who he meant. He added that his name was Jeffry, but his brother John, another family member in the same business, lived in Limehouse, and he suspected that if the surgeon continued, he’d find the right person there. An address was given to the young surgeon at the far end of Limehouse, which, needless to say, was false. What wouldn’t a surgeon do to gain his first patient, especially a wealthy one? Off he raced to Limehouse, soon discovering how far he’d gone for nothing. Exhausted and frustrated, plotting revenge on the pranksters, he started heading back home, cursing the Dobbs family every step of the way. As he walked along Upper Shadwell, he saw a horse galloping wildly down Chamomile Street, throwing its rider hard onto the pavement. He rushed over and picked up the fallen man, finding him unconscious. He took him to a nearby shop, bled him, and felt satisfaction as the man opened his eyes. It’s worth noting that once he was taken home, the young surgeon cared for him until he was better; so gratefully did the stranger, who turned out to be a wealthy East India merchant advanced in age, receive his care that he welcomed him into his home as a medical attendant and friend, ultimately leaving him most of his fortune. Thus, from a planned April Fool’s Day prank, by the unpredictable twist of fate, a prank led its target to wealth. This story, according to the London Athenæum, can be considered true, with only the name used to hide the real people involved being fictional.
A day of fooleries, the Huli Fest, is observed, also, among the Hindoos, attended with the like silly species of witticism.
A day of fun and jokes, the Huli Fest, is celebrated among the Hindus, filled with similar kinds of silly humor.
By many it is believed that the term “all” is a corruption of auld or old, thereby making it originally “Old Fools’ Day,” in confirmation of which opinion the following observation is quoted from an ancient Roman calendar respecting the 1st of November:—“The feast of old fools is removed to this day.” The oldest almanacs extant, however, have it all (and not old) fools’ day. Besides the Roman “Saturnalia” and the Druidical rites, superstitions which the early Christians found in existence when they commenced their labors in England, was the Festum Fatuorum, or Fools’ Holiday, which was doubtless our present First of April. In some of the German classics frequent mention is made of the Aprilen Narr, so that even the Germans of the olden time understood how to practise their cunning April arts upon their neighbors quite as well as we of the present day.
By many, it’s believed that the term “all” comes from old or old, originally making it “Old Fools’ Day.” To support this view, the following note from an old Roman calendar about November 1st is often cited: “The feast of old fools is moved to this day.” However, the oldest existing almanacs refer to it as all (not old) fools’ day. In addition to the Roman “Saturnalia” and the Druidic rituals, superstitions that early Christians encountered when they began their work in England included the Feast of Fools, or Fools’ Holiday, which was likely our current First of April. Some German classics frequently mention the April Narr, indicating that even the Germans in ancient times knew how to play their clever April tricks on their neighbors just as we do today.
Enough has been here quoted to prove that the custom is of very ancient existence; but the precise origin thereof remains 336undiscovered, and will have to be dug from some of the musty chronicles of gray antiquity. But, be the origin of the custom what it may, we cannot avoid the conclusion that it is one “more honored in the breach than in the observance.”
Enough has been quoted here to show that the custom has been around for a very long time; however, the exact origin of it remains 336undiscovered and will need to be uncovered from some dusty old records of ancient history. But regardless of what the origin of the custom might be, we can't help but conclude that it is one that is “more honored in the breach than in the observance.”
CARDS.
About the year 1390, cards were invented to divert Charles IV., then King of France, who was fallen into a melancholy disposition. That they were not in use before appears highly probable. 1st, Because no cards are to be seen in any paintings, sculpture, tapestry, &c. more ancient than the preceding period, but are represented in many works of ingenuity since that age. 2dly, No prohibitions relative to cards, by the king’s edicts, are mentioned; although some few years before, a most severe one was published, forbidding by name all manner of sports and pastimes, in order that the subjects might exercise themselves in shooting with bows and arrows and be in a condition to oppose the English. Now, it is not to be presumed that so luring a game as cards would have been omitted in the enumeration had they been in use. 3dly, In all the ecclesiastical canons prior to the same time, there occurs no mention of cards; although, twenty years after that date, card-playing was interdicted the clergy by a Gallican Synod. About the same time is found in the account-book of the king’s cofferer the following charge:—“Paid for a pack of painted leaves bought for the king’s amusement, three livres.” Printing and stamping being not then discovered, the cards were painted, which made them dear. Thence, in the above synodical canons, they are called pagillæ pictæ, painted little leaves. 4thly, About thirty years after this came a severe edict against cards in France, and another by Emanuel, Duke of Savoy, only permitting the ladies this pastime, pro spinilis, for pins and needles.
Around the year 1390, playing cards were created to entertain Charles IV., who was then the King of France and had fallen into a state of deep sadness. It seems quite likely that cards were not used before this time. First, there are no cards visible in any paintings, sculptures, tapestries, etc., that are older than this period, but they appear in many works of creativity from thereafter. Second, there are no royal decrees prohibiting cards mentioned, even though a few years prior, a very strict ban was issued against all types of games and pastimes, so that the people could practice shooting with bows and arrows and be ready to fight the English. It’s hard to believe that such an enticing game as cards would have been overlooked in that list had they been common. Third, none of the church laws from before this time mention cards either; however, twenty years later, card-playing was banned for clergy by a Gallican Synod. Around this time, the king's steward recorded a payment: "Paid for a pack of painted leaves bought for the king's enjoyment, three livres." Since printing and stamping hadn't been invented yet, the cards were painted, which made them expensive. Thus, in the aforementioned synod laws, they are referred to as decorated pages, or painted little leaves. Fourth, about thirty years after this, a strict decree against cards was issued in France, along with another by Emanuel, Duke of Savoy, allowing only ladies to play this game, pro spinilis, for pins and needles.
Of their designs.—The inventor proposed by the figures of the four suits, or colors, as the French call them, to represent the four states or classes of men in the kingdom. By the 337Cæsars (hearts) are meant the Gens de Chœur, choir-men, or ecclesiastics; and therefore the Spaniards, who certainly received the use of cards from the French, have copas or chalices instead of hearts. The nobility, or prime military part of the kingdom, are represented by the ends or points of lances, or pikes; and our ignorance of the meaning or resemblance of the figure induced us to call them spades. The Spaniards have espadas (swords) in lieu of pikes, which is of similar import. By diamonds are designated the order of citizens, merchants, and tradesmen, carraux, (square stone tiles, or the like.) The Spaniards have a coin dineros, which answers to it; and the Dutch call the French word carreaux, stieneen, stones and diamonds, from the form. Treste, the trefoil leaf, or clover grass, (corruptly called clubs,) alludes to husbandmen and peasants. How this suit came to be called clubs is not explained, unless, borrowing the game from the Spaniards, who have bastos (staves or clubs) instead of the trefoil, we gave the Spanish signification to the French figure.
Of their designs.—The inventor used the symbols of the four suits, or colors, as the French call them, to represent the four states or classes of people in the kingdom. The 337Caesars (hearts) refer to the Choral singers, choir members, or religious figures; so the Spaniards, who definitely got the card game from the French, have copas or chalices instead of hearts. The nobility, or the main military class of the kingdom, are represented by the points of lances or pikes; our lack of understanding of this symbol led us to call them spades. The Spaniards have swords (swords) instead of pikes, which conveys a similar meaning. Diamonds represent the citizens, merchants, and tradesmen, carraux, (square stone tiles, or something similar). The Spaniards have a coin money, which corresponds to it; and the Dutch call the French term tiles, stineen, meaning stones and diamonds, based on the shape. Treasure, the trefoil leaf, or clover (misnamed clubs), refers to farmers and peasants. The reason this suit is called clubs isn't explained, unless we borrowed the game from the Spaniards, who have rude (staves or clubs) instead of the trefoil, giving the Spanish meaning to the French figure.
The “history of the four kings,” which the French in drollery sometimes call “the cards,” is that of David, Alexander, Cæsar, and Charles, names which were, and still are, on the French cards. These respective names represent the four celebrated monarchies of the Jews, Greeks, Romans, and Franks under Charlemagne.
The "history of the four kings," which the French humorously refer to as "the cards," is about David, Alexander, Cæsar, and Charles, names that were, and still are, on the French playing cards. These names represent the four famous monarchies of the Jews, Greeks, Romans, and Franks under Charlemagne.
By the queens are intended Argine, Esther, Judith, and Pallas, (names retained in the French cards,) typical of birth, piety, fortitude, and wisdom, the qualifications residing in each person. “Argine” is an anagram for “Regina,” queen by descent.
By the queens are meant Argine, Esther, Judith, and Pallas, (names kept in the French cards,) representing birth, piety, courage, and wisdom, which are the qualities found in each person. “Argine” is an anagram for “Regina,” meaning queen by lineage.
By the knaves were designed the servants to knights, (for knave originally meant only servant; and in an old translation of the Bible, St. Paul is called the knave of Christ,) but French pages and valets, now indiscriminately used by various orders of persons, were formerly only allowed to persons of quality, esquires, (escuiers,) shield or armor bearers. Others fancy that the knights themselves were designed by those cards, because 338Hogier and Lahire, two names on the French cards, were famous knights at the time cards were supposed to be invented.
By the knaves were meant the servants to knights, (since knave originally just meant servant; and in an old translation of the Bible, St. Paul is referred to as the knave of Christ,) but French pages and valets, now used by all sorts of people, were once only allowed to persons of high status, esquires, (squires,) who were shield or armor bearers. Others believe that the knights themselves were represented by those cards, because 338Hogier and Lahire, two names found on the French cards, were famous knights at the time when cards were thought to have been created.
SUB ROSA.
The origin of the phrase under the rose implies secrecy, and had its origin during the year B.C. 477, at which time Pausanias, the commander of the confederate fleet of the Spartans and Athenians, was engaged in an intrigue with Xerxes for the subjugation of Greece to the Persian rule, and for the hand of the monarch’s daughter in marriage. Their negotiations were carried on in a building attached to the temple of Minerva, called the Brazen House, the roof of which was a garden forming a bower of roses; so that the plot, which was conducted with the utmost secrecy, was literally matured under the rose. Pausanias, however, was betrayed by one of his emissaries, who, by a preconcerted plan with the ephori, (the overseers and counsellors of state, five in number,) gave them a secret opportunity to hear from the lips of Pausanias himself the acknowledgment of his treason. To escape arrest, he fled to the temple of Minerva, and, as the sanctity of the place forbade intrusion for violence or harm of any kind, the people walled up the edifice with stones and left him to die of starvation. His own mother laid the first stone.
The origin of the phrase under the rose suggests secrecy and dates back to 477 B.C. During that time, Pausanias, the commander of the Spartan and Athenian fleet, was involved in a plot with Xerxes to bring Greece under Persian control and to marry the king’s daughter. Their discussions took place in a building near the temple of Minerva, known as the Brazen House, where a garden of roses formed a roof over their secret meetings. Because the plot was conducted with extreme secrecy, it was said to have matured under the rose. However, Pausanias was betrayed by one of his agents, who, in collusion with the ephori (the five overseers and counselors of state), created a chance for them to hear Pausanias admit his treason. To avoid arrest, he fled to the temple of Minerva, and since the sacred space prohibited any form of violence, the people sealed the building with stones, leaving him to starve. His own mother was the first to place a stone.
It afterward became a custom among the Athenians to wear roses in their hair whenever they wished to communicate to another a secret which they wished to be kept inviolate. Hence the saying sub rosa among them, and, since, among Christian nations.
It later became a tradition among the Athenians to wear roses in their hair whenever they wanted to share a secret that they wanted to keep hidden. This is where the saying under the radar originated among them, and later, among Christian nations.
OVER THE LEFT.
The earliest trace of the use and peculiar significance of this phrase may be found in the Records of the Hartford County Courts, in the (then) Colony of Connecticut, as follows:—
The earliest evidence of the use and unique meaning of this phrase can be found in the Records of the Hartford County Courts, in what was the Colony of Connecticut, as follows:—
Whereas James Steel did commence an action against Bevell Waters (both of Hartford) in this Court, upon hearing and tryall whereof the Court gave judgment against the said Waters, (as in justice they think they ought,) upon the declaring the said judgment, the said Waters did review to the Court in March next, that, being granted and entered, the said Waters, as he departed from the table, he said, “God bless you over the left shoulder.”
Whereas James Steel started a case against Bevell Waters (both from Hartford) in this Court, after hearing and trial, the Court ruled against Waters, which they believed was just. When this judgment was announced, Waters appealed to the Court in March. After this was granted and entered, as he left the table, he said, “God bless you over the left shoulder.”
The Court order a record to be made thereof forthwith.
The court orders that a record be made of this immediately.
At the next court, Waters was tried for contempt, for saying the words recited, “so cursing the Court,” and on verdict fined £5. He asked a review of the Court following, which was granted; and pending trial, the Court asked counsel of the Rev. Messrs. Woodbridge and Buckingham, the ministers of the Hartford churches, as to the “common acceptation” of the offensive phrase. Their reply constitutes a part of the Record, and is as follows:—
At the next court session, Waters was tried for contempt for saying the words mentioned, “so cursing the Court,” and was fined £5 based on the verdict. He requested a review of the Court's decision, which was approved; while awaiting trial, the Court consulted Rev. Messrs. Woodbridge and Buckingham, ministers from the Hartford churches, about the “common acceptation” of the offending phrase. Their response is included in the Record and is as follows:—
We are of opinion that those words, said on the other side to be spoken by Bevell Waters, include (1) prophaneness, by using the name of God, that is holy, with such ill words whereto it was joyned; (2) that they carry great contempt in them, arising to the degree of an imprecation or curse, the words of a curse being the most contemptible that can ordinarily be used.
We believe that the words, which are claimed to have been spoken by Bevell Waters, involve (1) disrespect, by using the name of God, which is sacred, alongside such offensive language; and (2) that they show a high level of contempt, reaching the level of a curse, as cursing typically conveys the most disdainful sentiments that can be expressed.
March 7th, 1705–6.
March 7, 1705–06.
The former judgment was affirmed on review.
The previous decision was confirmed upon review.
KICKING THE BUCKET.
The tradition among the slang fraternity as to the origin of this phrase is that “One Bolsover, having hung himself to a beam while standing on the bottom of a pail, or bucket, kicked the vessel away in order to pry into futurity, and it was all UP with him from that moment—Finis!”
The tradition among the slang community regarding the origin of this phrase is that “One Bolsover, who hanged himself from a beam while standing on the bottom of a pail, kicked the bucket away to see into the future, and it was all over for him from that moment—Done!”
BUMPER.
When the Roman Catholic religion was in the ascendant in England, the health of the Pope was usually drunk in a full glass immediately after dinner—au bon père: hence the word “Bumper.”
When the Roman Catholic religion was on the rise in England, people typically drank a full glass to toast the Pope's health right after dinner—to the good father: which is where the term “Bumper” comes from.
ROYAL SAYING.
It was Alphonsus, surnamed the Wise, King of Aragon, who used to say, “That among so many things as are by men possessed or pursued in the course of their lives, all the rest are baubles, besides old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to converse with, and old books to read.”
It was Alphonsus, known as the Wise, King of Aragon, who used to say, “Among all the things that people own or seek in their lives, everything else is just trifles, except for old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to talk to, and old books to read.”
DUN.
This word, generally supposed to be derived from the French donnez, owes its origin, according to the British Apollo of September, 1708, to one Joe Dun, a famous bailiff of Lincoln in the time of Henry VII. He is said to have been so extremely shrewd in the management of his rough business, and so dexterous in the collection of dues, that his name became proverbial; and whenever a man refused to pay his debts, it grew into a prevalent custom to say, “Why don’t you Dun him?”
This word, thought to come from the French give, actually has its roots, according to the British Apollo of September 1708, in one Joe Dun, a well-known bailiff from Lincoln during the time of Henry VII. He was said to be very sharp in handling his tough job and skilled at collecting payments, so much so that his name became a common reference; whenever someone refused to pay their debts, it became a popular saying to ask, “Why don’t you Dun him?”
HUMBUG.
Among the many issues of base coin which from time to time were made in Ireland, there was none to be compared in worthlessness to that made by James II. at the Dublin Mint. It was composed of any thing on which he could lay his hands, such as lead, pewter, copper, and brass, and so low was its intrinsic value that twenty shillings of it was only worth twopence 341sterling. William III., a few days after the battle of the Boyne, ordered that the crown-piece and half-crown should be taken as one penny and one half-penny respectively. The soft mixed metal of which that worthless coin was composed was known among the Irish as Uim bog, pronounced Oom-bug, i.e. soft copper, i.e. worthless money; and in the course of their dealings the modern use of the word humbug took its rise, as in the phrases, “That’s a piece of uimbog,” “Don’t think to pass off your uimbog on me.” Hence the word humbug came to be applied to any thing that had a specious appearance but which was in reality spurious. It is curious to note that the very opposite of humbug, i.e. false metal, is the word sterling, which is also taken from a term applied to the true coinage of Great Britain, as sterling coin, sterling worth, &c.
Among the many issues of base coin that were occasionally produced in Ireland, none was as worthless as that made by James II at the Dublin Mint. It was made from whatever materials he could find, such as lead, pewter, copper, and brass, and its actual value was so low that twenty shillings of it was only worth two pence sterling. A few days after the Battle of the Boyne, William III ordered that the crown piece and half crown should be valued as one penny and one and a half pence, respectively. The soft, mixed metal that made up that worthless coin was known among the Irish as Uim bog, pronounced Oom-bug, meaning soft copper, or worthless money; in their dealings, the modern use of the word humbug originated from this, as in the phrases, “That’s a piece of uimbog,” and “Don’t think you can pass off your uimbog on me.” Thus, the word humbug came to describe anything that appeared to be good but was actually fake. Interestingly, the very opposite of humbug, meaning false metal, is the word sterling, which is derived from a term applied to the true coinage of Great Britain, as in sterling coin, sterling worth, etc. 341
PASQUINADES.
At one corner of the Palazzo Braschi, the last monument of Papal nepotism, near the Piazza Navona, in Rome, stands the famous mutilated torso known as the statue of Pasquin. It is the remains of a work of art of considerable merit, found at this spot, in the sixteenth century, and supposed to represent Ajax supporting Menelaus. It derives its modern name from the tailor Pasquin, who kept a shop opposite, which was the rendezvous of all the gossips in the city, and from which their satirical witticisms on the manners and follies of the day obtained a ready circulation.
At one corner of the Palazzo Braschi, the last symbol of Papal favoritism, near the Piazza Navona in Rome, stands the famous damaged torso known as the statue of Pasquin. It's the remains of a notable piece of art found in this spot in the sixteenth century, believed to represent Ajax supporting Menelaus. It gets its modern name from the tailor Pasquin, who had a shop across the street, which was a meeting place for all the gossipers in the city, where their satirical comments on the trends and foolishness of the day spread quickly.
Misson says in his Travels in Italy,—The tailor had precisely the talent to head a regiment of satirical wits, and had he had time to publish, he would have been the Peter Pindar of his day; but his genius seems to have been satisfied to rest cross-legged on his shop-board. When any lampoons or amusing bon-mots were current in Rome, they were usually called, from his shop, Pasquinades. After his death, this statue of an ancient gladiator was found under the pavement of his shop. It was soon set up, and by universal consent was inscribed with his name; and they still attempt to raise him from the dead, 342and keep the caustic tailor alive, in the marble gladiator of wit.
Misson says in his Travels in Italy,—The tailor had exactly the skill to lead a group of satirical thinkers, and if he had taken the time to publish, he would have been the Peter Pindar of his time; but his talent seems to have been content to lounge cross-legged on his workbench. Whenever there were lampoons or funny witty remarks making the rounds in Rome, they were usually referred to, because of his shop, as Pasquinades. After he passed away, a statue of an ancient gladiator was discovered under the floor of his shop. It was soon erected, and by common agreement it was labeled with his name; and they still try to resurrect him, 342 and keep the sharp-tongued tailor alive, in the marble gladiator of wit.
The statue of Marforio, which stood near the arch of Septimus Severus, in the Forum, was made the vehicle for replying to the attacks of Pasquin; and for many years they kept up an incessant fire of wit and repartee. When Marforio was removed to the museum in the capitol, the Pope wished to remove Pasquin also; but the Duke di Braschi, to whom he belongs, would not permit it. Adrian VI. attempted to arrest his career by ordering the statue to be burnt and thrown into the Tiber; but one of the Pope’s friends, Ludovico Sussano, saved him, by suggesting that his ashes would turn into frogs, and croak more terribly than before. It is said that his owner is compelled to pay a fine whenever he is found guilty of exhibiting any scandalous placards. The modern Romans seem to regard Pasquin as part of their social system: in the absence of a free press, he has become in some measure the organ of public opinion, and there is scarcely an event upon which he does not pronounce judgment. Some of his sayings are extremely broad for the atmosphere of Rome, but many of them are very witty, and fully maintain the character of his fellow-citizens for satirical epigrams and repartee. When Mezzofanti, the great linguist, was made a cardinal, Pasquin declared that it was a very proper appointment, for there could be no doubt that the “Tower of Babel,” “Il torre di Babel” required an interpreter. At the time of the first French occupation of Italy, Pasquin gave out the following satirical dialogue:—
The statue of Marforio, which stood near the arch of Septimus Severus in the Forum, became the means for replying to the attacks of Pasquin, and for many years, they engaged in a constant exchange of cleverness and banter. When Marforio was moved to the museum in the Capitol, the Pope wanted to remove Pasquin as well, but the Duke di Braschi, to whom it belongs, wouldn’t allow it. Adrian VI tried to stop him by ordering the statue to be burned and thrown into the Tiber; however, one of the Pope’s friends, Ludovico Sussano, saved Pasquin by arguing that his ashes would turn into frogs, croaking even more loudly than before. It’s said that the owner has to pay a fine whenever Pasquin is found guilty of displaying any scandalous notices. Modern Romans seem to view Pasquin as part of their social fabric: in the absence of a free press, he has become a kind of voice for public opinion, and there’s hardly an event on which he doesn’t comment. Some of his remarks are quite racy for Rome's atmosphere, but many are very witty, maintaining the reputation of his fellow citizens for satirical sayings and quick comebacks. When Mezzofanti, the great linguist, became a cardinal, Pasquin remarked that it was a very fitting appointment, since there was no doubt that the “Tower of Babel,” “The Tower of Babel” needed an interpreter. During the first French occupation of Italy, Pasquin issued the following satirical dialogue:—
Another remarkable saying is recorded in connection with the celebrated bull of Urban VIII., excommunicating all persons who took snuff in the Cathedral of Seville. On the publication of this decree, Pasquin appropriately quoted the beautiful 343passage in Job,—“Wilt thou break a leaf driven to and fro? and wilt thou pursue the dry stubble?”
Another notable saying is noted in relation to the famous bull of Urban VIII, which excommunicated anyone who used snuff in the Cathedral of Seville. When this decree was announced, Pasquin fittingly cited the beautiful passage from Job, “Will you break a leaf blown about? And will you chase the dry stubble?”
BOTTLED ALE.
Alexander Newell, Dean of St. Paul’s and Master of Westminster School in the reign of Queen Mary, was an excellent angler. But, (says Fuller,) while Newell was catching of fishes, Bishop Bonner was catching of Newell, and would certainly have sent him to the shambles had not a good London merchant conveyed him away upon the seas. Newell was fishing upon the banks of the Thames when he received the first intimation of his danger, which was so pressing that he dared not go back to his own house to make any preparation for his flight. Like an honest angler, he had taken with him provision for the day, and when, in the first year of England’s deliverance, he returned to his country and his old haunts, he remembered that on the day of his flight he had left a bottle of beer in a safe place on the bank: there he looked for it, and “found it no bottle, but a gun—such the sound at the opening thereof; and this (adds Fuller,) is believed (casualty is mother of more invention than industry) the origin of Bottled Ale in England.”
Alexander Newell, Dean of St. Paul’s and Headmaster of Westminster School during Queen Mary’s reign, was a skilled fisherman. However, (as Fuller notes) while Newell was busy catching fish, Bishop Bonner was after Newell and would have definitely sent him to the executioner if a good London merchant hadn’t helped him escape by sea. Newell was fishing along the banks of the Thames when he first learned of his peril, which was so urgent that he couldn’t return home to prepare for his escape. Being a dedicated angler, he had packed provisions for the day, and when he returned to his country and familiar spots in the first year of England’s liberation, he remembered that on the day he fled, he had left a bottle of beer safely on the bank: there he looked for it, and “found it was no bottle, but a gun—such was the sound when it opened; and this (Fuller adds) is thought (chance inspires more creativity than effort) to be the origin of Bottled Ale in England.”
THE POTATO.
Although Sir Walter Raleigh was unexpectedly prevented from accompanying Sir Humphrey Gilbert to Newfoundland, he eventually proved one of the greatest benefactors to his own country, by the introduction of the potato on his return from America, in the year 1584. This root was first planted on Sir Walter’s estate at Youghall, which he afterward sold to the Earl of Cork; but not having given sufficient directions to the person who had the management of the land, the latter mistook the flowers for the fruit and most valuable part of the plant, 344and, on tasting them, rejected them as a pernicious exotic. Some time afterwards, turning up the earth, he found the roots spread to a great distance, and in considerable quantities; and from this stock the whole kingdom was soon after supplied with this valuable plant, which gradually spread throughout Europe and North America. Its name, potato, in Irish paitey, and in French patate, is said to be derived from the original language of Mexico, of which it is supposed to be a native.
Although Sir Walter Raleigh was unexpectedly unable to join Sir Humphrey Gilbert on his trip to Newfoundland, he ultimately became one of the greatest contributors to his country by introducing the potato upon his return from America in 1584. This root was first planted on Sir Walter’s estate in Youghall, which he later sold to the Earl of Cork. However, since he didn’t provide clear instructions to the person managing the land, that person mistook the flowers for the fruit and the most valuable part of the plant, and after tasting them, dismissed them as a harmful foreign plant. Some time later, while digging in the ground, he found that the roots had spread widely and in large quantities; from this stock, the entire kingdom was soon supplied with this valuable plant, which gradually spread throughout Europe and North America. Its name, potato, in Irish paitey, and in French potato, is said to come from the original language of Mexico, where it is believed to have originated.
TARRING AND FEATHERING.
Anquetil, in his Histoire de France, 1805, has the following passage in reference to this mode of chastisement:—
Anquetil, in his Histoire de France, 1805, includes this passage about this method of punishment:—
They (the two crusading kings, Richard Cœur de Lion and Philip Augustus) afterwards made in concert the laws of police which should be observed in both their armies. No women, except washerwomen, were to be permitted to accompany the troops. Whoever killed another was, according to the place where the crime should be committed, to be cast into the sea, or buried alive, bound to the corpse of the murdered person. Whoever wounded another was to have his hand cut off; whoever struck another should be plunged three times into the sea; and whoever committed theft should have warm pitch poured over his head, which should then be powdered with feathers, and the offender should afterwards be left abandoned on the first shore.
They (the two crusading kings, Richard Cœur de Lion and Philip Augustus) later created rules for law enforcement that both their armies had to follow. No women, except for washerwomen, were allowed to join the troops. Anyone who killed another person would be punished based on where the crime occurred: they would be thrown into the sea or buried alive, tied to the body of the victim. Anyone who wounded someone else would have their hand cut off; anyone who struck another person would be dunked in the sea three times; and anyone who stole would have warm pitch poured over their head, which would then be coated with feathers, and the offender would then be left alone on the nearest shore.
STOCKINGS.
It is stated that Henry the Second, of France, was the first who wore silk stockings, and this was on the occasion of his sister’s wedding to the Duke of Savoy, in 1509. Howell, in his History of the World, says that, in 1550, Queen Elizabeth was presented with a pair of black silk knit stockings by her silk-woman, Mrs. Montague, and that she never wore cloth ones afterward. He also adds, that Henry the Eighth wore ordinarily cloth hose, unless there came from Spain, by great chance, a pair of silk stockings. His son, Edward the Sixth, 345was presented with a pair of long Spanish silk stockings by Sir Thomas Gresham. Hence it would seem that knit stockings originally came from Spain. It is stated that one William Rider, an apprentice on London Bridge, seeing, at the house of an Italian merchant, a pair of knit stockings, from Mantua, took the hint, and made a pair exactly like them, which he presented to the Earl of Pembroke, and that they were the first of that kind worn in England. There have been various opinions with respect to the original invention of the stocking-frame; but it is now generally conceded that it was invented during the reign of Queen Elizabeth, in the year 1589, by William Lee, M.A., of St. John’s College, Cambridge. In the London Magazine, it is related that Mr. Lee was expelled from the University for marrying, contrary to the statutes of the college. Being thus rejected, and ignorant of any other means of subsistence, he was reduced to the necessity of living upon what his wife could earn by knitting stockings, which gave a spur to his invention; and, by curiously observing the working of the needles in knitting, he formed in his mind the model of the frame. Mr. Lee went to France, and, for want of patronage there and in England, died of a broken heart, at Paris. In the hall of Framework Knitters’ Company, incorporated by Charles the Second, in 1663, is a portrait of Lee, pointing to one of the iron frames, and discoursing with a woman, who is knitting with needles and her fingers.
It’s said that Henry the Second of France was the first to wear silk stockings, which happened during his sister’s wedding to the Duke of Savoy in 1509. Howell, in his History of the World, mentions that in 1550, Queen Elizabeth received a pair of black silk knit stockings from her silk-woman, Mrs. Montague, and from that point on, she never wore cloth ones again. He also notes that Henry the Eighth typically wore cloth hose unless he happened to receive a pair of silk stockings from Spain. His son, Edward the Sixth, was given a pair of long Spanish silk stockings by Sir Thomas Gresham. This suggests that knit stockings originally came from Spain. There’s a story about a William Rider, an apprentice on London Bridge, who saw a pair of knit stockings from Mantua at the home of an Italian merchant. He took inspiration from them and made a similar pair, which he gave to the Earl of Pembroke, marking them as the first of their kind worn in England. There have been several theories about the original invention of the stocking-frame, but it’s now generally accepted that it was created during Queen Elizabeth's reign in 1589 by William Lee, M.A., of St. John’s College, Cambridge. The London Magazine recounts that Mr. Lee was expelled from the University for marrying, which was against college rules. Left with no means of support, he had to rely on what his wife could earn by knitting stockings, which inspired his invention. By closely observing how the needles worked while knitting, he visualized the design for the frame. Mr. Lee went to France, but lacking support there and back home, he died of a broken heart in Paris. In the hall of the Framework Knitters’ Company, which was incorporated by Charles the Second in 1663, there is a portrait of Lee pointing to one of the iron frames and talking to a woman who is knitting with needles and her fingers.
THE ORDER OF THE GARTER.
DRINKING HEALTHS.
The drinking of healths originated during the Danish occupation of Britain. The Danes frequently stabbed Englishmen while in the act of drinking, and it finally became necessary for the English, in view of the constant repetition of this dastardly mode of assassination, to enter into a compact to be mutual pledges of security for each other’s health and preservation. Hence the custom of pledging and drinking healths.
The practice of toasting to health started during the Danish occupation of Britain. The Danes often attacked Englishmen while they were drinking, which led the English to agree on a pact to ensure each other's safety and well-being. This eventually became the tradition of toasting and drinking to health.
A FEATHER IN ONE’S CAP.
In the Lansdowne MS., British Museum, is a Description of Hungary in 1599, in which the writer says of the inhabitants, “It hath been an antient custom among them that none should wear a fether but he who had killed a Turk, to whom onlie yt was lawful to shew the number of his slaine enemys by the number of fethers in his cappe.”
In the Lansdowne MS., British Museum, is a Description of Hungary in 1599, in which the writer states about the inhabitants, “It has been an ancient custom among them that no one should wear a feather except for those who have killed a Turk, to whom alone it was lawful to display the number of their slain enemies by the number of feathers in their cap.”
THE WORD BOOK.
Before paper came into general use, our Teutonic forefathers wrote their letters, calendars, and accounts on wood. The Boc, or beech, being close-grained and plentiful in Northern Europe, was generally employed for the purpose; and hence the word book.
Before paper was commonly used, our Teutonic ancestors wrote their letters, calendars, and accounts on wood. The Boc, or beech, which is fine-grained and abundant in Northern Europe, was typically used for this purpose; this is how the word book originated.
NINE TAILORS MAKE A MAN.
The following humorous account of the origin of this saying is from The British Apollo. “It happened (’tis no great matter in what year) that eight tailors, having finished considerable pieces of work at the house of a certain person of quality, (whose name authors have thought fit to conceal,) and received all the money due for the same, a virago servant-maid of the house, observing them to be but slender-built animals, and in their mathematical postures on their shop-board appearing but so many pieces of men, resolved to encounter and pillage them on the road. The better to compass her design, she procured a 347very terrible great black pudding, which, having waylaid them, she presented at the breast of the foremost. They, mistaking this prop of life for an instrument of death, at least a blunderbuss, readily yielded up their money; but she, not contented with that, severely disciplined them with a cudgel she carried in the other hand, all which they bore with a philosophical resignation. Thus, eight, not being able to deal with one woman, by consequence could not make a man; on which account a ninth is added. ’Tis the opinion of our curious virtuosos, that their want of courage ariseth from their immoderate eating of cucumbers, which too much refrigerates their blood. However, to their eternal honor be it spoken, they have often been known to encounter a sort of cannibals, to whose assaults they are often subject, not fictitious, but real man-eaters, and that with a lance but two inches long; nay, and although they go armed no further than their middle finger.”
The following humorous account of the origin of this saying is from The British Apollo. “It happened (it doesn't really matter what year) that eight tailors, having completed a lot of work for a certain nobleman (whose name authors have chosen to keep secret), and receiving all the payment due for it, a strong maidservant of the house, noticing that they were quite skinny and, in their precise positions at their shop board, looked like they were just pieces of men, decided to confront and rob them on the road. To better carry out her plan, she got hold of a very large black pudding, which, having ambushed them, she presented to the chest of the foremost. They, mistaking this life prop for a weapon of death, at least like a blunderbuss, quickly surrendered their money; but she, not satisfied with that, severely beat them with a club she carried in the other hand, all of which they endured with a philosophical acceptance. Thus, eight, unable to handle one woman, consequently could not make a man; and that's why a ninth is added. It's believed by our curious experts that their lack of courage comes from their excessive consumption of cucumbers, which cools their blood too much. However, to their eternal credit, it should be noted that they have often been known to face a type of cannibals, to whose attacks they are frequently subjected, not fictional, but actual man-eaters, and that with a spear only two inches long; indeed, although they are armed no further than the length of their middle finger.”
An earlier authority than the preceding may be found in a note in Democritus in London, with the Mad Pranks and Comical Conceits of Motley and Robin Goodfellow, in which the following version of the origin of the saying is given. It is dated 1682:—
An earlier reference than the previous one can be found in a note in Democritus in London, with the Mad Pranks and Comical Conceits of Motley and Robin Goodfellow, where a version of the origin of the saying is provided. It dates back to 1682:—
VIZ.
The contraction viz. affords a curious instance of the universality of arbitrary signs. There are few people now who do not readily comprehend the meaning of that useful particle,—a certain publican excepted, who, being furnished with a list of the requirements of a festival in which the word appeared, apologized for the omission of one of the items enumerated: he informed the company that he had inquired throughout the town 348for some viz., but he had not been able to procure it. He was, however, readily excused for his inability to do so. Viȝ. being a contraction of videlicet, the terminal sign ȝ was never intended to represent the letter “z,” but was simply a mark or sign of abbreviation. It is now always written and expressed as a “z” and will doubtless continue to be so.
The contraction namely is an interesting example of how arbitrary signs can be universally understood. Nowadays, very few people don’t know what that useful word means—except for a certain publican who, given a list of items needed for a festival that included the word, apologized for leaving one out. He informed everyone that he had searched all over town for some viz., but he couldn’t find any. However, he was easily forgiven for not being able to get it. Viȝ. is a short form of namely, and the terminal sign ȝ was never meant to stand for the letter “z”; it was just a symbol for abbreviation. It’s now always written as “z,” and it will likely remain that way.
SIGNATURE OF THE CROSS.
The mark which persons who are unable to write are required to make instead of their signatures, is in the form of a cross; and this practice, having formerly been followed by kings and nobles, is constantly referred to as an instance of the deplorable ignorance of ancient times. This signature is not, however, invariably a proof of such ignorance. Anciently the use of the mark was not confined to illiterate persons; for among the Saxons the mark of the cross, as an attestation of the good faith of the persons signing, was required to be attached to the signature of those who could write, as well as to stand in the place of the signature of those who could not write. In those times, if a man could write, or even read, his knowledge was considered proof presumptive that he was in holy orders. The clericus, or clerk, was synonymous with penman; and the laity, or people who were not clerks, did not feel any urgent necessity for the use of letters. The ancient use of the cross was therefore universal, alike by those who could and those who could not write: it was, indeed, the symbol of an oath, from its sacred associations, as well as the mark generally adopted. Hence the origin of the expression “God save the mark,” as a form of ejaculation approaching the character of an oath.
The mark that people who can't write are required to make instead of their signatures takes the form of a cross. This practice, which was once used by kings and nobles, is often cited as an example of the unfortunate ignorance of ancient times. However, this mark isn't always evidence of such ignorance. Historically, the use of the mark wasn't limited to illiterate individuals; for the Saxons, the mark of the cross served as a sign of good faith for those who signed, and it had to be attached to the signatures of those who could write, as well as replace the signatures of those who couldn't. Back then, if a person could write or even read, it was generally assumed that they were in holy orders. The clericus, or clerk, was synonymous with a scribe, and regular people who weren't clerks didn't feel a strong need to use writing. Thus, the ancient use of the cross was widespread among both those who could write and those who couldn't; it was, in fact, a symbol of an oath due to its sacred associations, as well as the mark typically used. This is how the phrase “God save the mark” originated, functioning as an exclamation that resembles an oath.
THE TURKISH CRESCENT.
When Philip of Macedon approached by night with his troops to scale the walls of Byzantium, the moon shone out and discovered his design to the besieged, who repulsed him. The crescent was afterwards adopted as the favorite badge of the city. When the Turks took Byzantium, they found the crescent 349in every public place, and, believing it to possess some magical power, adopted it themselves.
When Philip of Macedon came at night with his troops to climb the walls of Byzantium, the moon shone brightly and revealed his plan to those inside, who pushed him back. The crescent was then chosen as the city's symbol. When the Turks captured Byzantium, they saw the crescent 349 everywhere in public and, believing it had some magical power, took it on themselves.
The origin of the crescent as a religious emblem is anterior to the time of Philip of Macedon, dating, in fact, from the very beginning of history.
The origin of the crescent as a religious symbol goes back even before the time of Philip of Macedon, actually dating all the way to the very start of history.
POSTPAID ENVELOPES.
M. Piron tells us that the idea of a postpaid envelope originated early in the reign of Louis XIV., with M. de Valfyer, who, in 1653, established (with royal approbation) a private penny-post, placing boxes at the corners of the streets for the reception of letters wrapped up in envelopes, which were to be bought at offices established for that purpose. M. de Valfyer also had printed certain forms of billets, or notes, applicable to the ordinary business among the inhabitants of great towns, with blanks, which were to be filled up by the pen with such special matter as might complete the writer’s object. One of these billets has been preserved to our times by a pleasant misapplication of it. Pélisson (Mdme. de Sévigné’s friend, and the object of the bon mot that “he abused the privilege which men have of being ugly”) was amused at this kind of skeleton correspondence; and under the affected name of Pisandre, (according to the pedantic fashion of the day,) he filled up and addressed one of these forms to the celebrated Mademoiselle de Scuderie, in her pseudonyme of Sappho. This strange billet-doux has happened, from the celebrity of the parties, to be preserved, and it is still extant,—one of the oldest, it is presumed, of penny-post letters, and a curious example of a prepaying envelope, a new proof of the adage that “there is nothing new under the sun.”
M. Piron tells us that the concept of a prepaid envelope started early in the reign of Louis XIV with M. de Valfyer, who, in 1653, set up (with royal approval) a private penny post. He placed boxes at street corners to collect letters wrapped in envelopes, which had to be purchased at designated offices. M. de Valfyer also had printed certain forms of tickets, or notes, meant for everyday use by residents of large cities, with blanks for the writer to fill in with specific information to achieve their goal. One of these tickets has been preserved due to a humorous misuse of it. Pélisson (a friend of Madame de Sévigné and the subject of the witty remark that “he abused the privilege men have of being ugly”) found this kind of skeletal correspondence amusing, and under the pretentious name of Pisandre (in line with the pedantic trend of the time), he filled out and sent one of these forms to the famous Mademoiselle de Scuderie, who was known by her pseudonym Sappho. This unusual love letter has survived, thanks to the fame of those involved, and it is still around—presumably one of the earliest penny post letters and an interesting example of a prepaying envelope, reinforcing the saying that “there is nothing new under the sun.”
OLD HUNDRED.
The history of this old psalm-tune, which almost every one has been accustomed to hear ever since he can remember, is the subject of a work recently written by an English clergyman. Luther has generally been considered the author of 350“Old Hundred,” but it has been pretty satisfactorily ascertained that it was composed in the sixteenth century, and certainly previous to 1546, by William Franc, a German. In the course of time its arrangement has undergone repeated alterations; and it is said that, as it originally appeared, it was of a more lively character than at present. Many of these alterations have been carefully preserved and may be seen by reference to Moore’s Encyclopædia of Music. The oldest copy of it that has been preserved was published in France, in Marot and Beza’s Psalms, 1550. Subjoined is a faithful transcript of its original adaptation to the 134th Psalm. It contrasts as broadly with the present style of musical notation as does the English of Chaucer with that of Noah Webster.
The history of this old psalm tune, which almost everyone has been used to hearing for as long as they can remember, is the focus of a recent work by an English clergyman. Luther has often been seen as the creator of 350 “Old Hundred,” but it has been fairly established that it was composed in the sixteenth century, definitely before 1546, by William Franc, a German. Over time, its arrangement has gone through several changes, and it is said that it was originally more lively than it is today. Many of these changes have been carefully preserved and can be found in Moore’s Encyclopædia of Music. The oldest preserved copy was published in France in Marot and Beza’s Psalms in 1550. Below is a faithful transcription of its original adaptation to the 134th Psalm. It stands in stark contrast to today’s musical notation, just as Chaucer’s English differs from that of Noah Webster.

LA MARSEILLAISE.
Rouget de Lisle was a young officer of engineers at Strasbourg. He was born at Lons-le-Saulnier, in the Jura a country of reverie and energy, as mountains commonly are. He relieved the tediousness of a garrison-life by writing verses and indulging a love of music. He was a frequent visitor at the house of the Baron de Diedrich, a noble Alsacian of the constitutional party, the Mayor of Strasbourg. The family loved the young officer, and gave new inspiration to his heart in its attachment to music and poetry, and the ladies were in the habit of assisting, by their performances, the early conceptions of his genius. A famine prevailed at Strasbourg in the winter of 1792. The house of Diedrich was rich at the beginning of the 351revolution, but had now become poor under the calamities and sacrifices of the time. Its frugal table had always a hospitable place for Rouget de Lisle. He was there morning and evening as a son and brother. One day, when only some slices of ham smoked upon the table, with a supply of camp-bread, Diedrich said to De Lisle, in sad serenity, “Plenty is not found at our meals. But no matter: enthusiasm is not wanting at our civic festivals, and our soldiers’ hearts are full of courage. We have one more bottle of Rhine wine in the cellar. Let us have it, and we’ll drink to liberty and the country. Strasbourg will soon have a patriotic fête, and De Lisle must draw from these last drops one of his hymns that will carry his own ardent feelings to the soul of the people.” The young ladies applauded the proposal. They brought the wine, and continued to fill the glasses of Diedrich and the young officer until the bottle was empty. The night was cold. De Lisle’s head and heart were warm. He found his way to his lodgings, entered his solitary chamber, and sought for inspiration at one moment in the palpitations of his citizen’s heart, and at another by touching, as an artist, the keys of his instrument, and striking out alternately portions of an air and giving utterance to poetic thoughts. He did not himself know which came first; it was impossible for him to separate the poetry from the music, or the sentiment from the words in which it was clothed. He sang altogether, and wrote nothing. In this state of lofty inspiration, he went to sleep with his head upon the instrument. The chants of the night came upon him in the morning like the faint impressions of a dream. He wrote down the words, made the notes of the music, and ran to Diedrich’s. He found him in the garden digging winter lettuces. The wife of the patriot mayor was not yet up. Diedrich awoke her. They called together some friends, who were, like themselves, passionately fond of music, and able to execute the compositions of De Lisle. One of the young ladies played, and Rouget sang. At the first Stanza, the countenances of the company grew pale; at the second, tears flowed abundantly; at the last, a delirium of enthusiasm 352broke forth. Diedrich, his wife, and the young officer cast themselves into each others’ arms. The hymn of the nation was found. Alas! it was destined to become a hymn of terror. The unhappy Diedrich a few months afterwards marched to the scaffold at the sound of the notes first uttered at his hearth, from the heart of his friend and the voice of his wife.
Rouget de Lisle was a young engineering officer in Strasbourg. He was born in Lons-le-Saulnier, in the Jura, a place full of dreams and energy, like most mountain regions. To escape the dullness of military life, he wrote poetry and enjoyed music. He often visited the home of Baron de Diedrich, an aristocratic Alsatian and the Mayor of Strasbourg, who supported the constitutional movement. The family cherished the young officer and inspired his passion for music and poetry; the ladies frequently helped to nurture his artistic creations with their performances. During the winter of 1792, Strasbourg faced famine. The Diedrich family had been prosperous at the beginning of the 351 revolution but had since fallen into poverty due to the hardships of the times. Their modest meals always had a spot for Rouget de Lisle, who joined them like a son and brother. One day, when only a few slices of ham and some camp bread were on the table, Diedrich said to De Lisle with a resigned sadness, “We may not have much to eat, but that doesn’t matter: we have plenty of enthusiasm at our civic celebrations, and our soldiers' hearts are full of courage. There's one last bottle of Rhine wine in the cellar. Let’s drink to liberty and our country. Strasbourg will soon hold a patriotic party, and De Lisle should create a hymn from these last drops that reflects his passionate feelings for the people.” The young ladies cheered the idea. They brought out the wine and kept filling the glasses of Diedrich and the young officer until the bottle was empty. The night was cold, but De Lisle’s head and heart were warm. He made his way back to his lodgings, entered his lonely room, and sought inspiration by feeling the beat of his heart as a citizen, and by touching the keys of his instrument, alternating between melodies and poetic thoughts. He couldn’t tell whether the music or the lyrics came first; he found it impossible to separate the poetry from the music, or the feelings from the words. He sang everything together and wrote nothing down. In this state of elevated inspiration, he fell asleep with his head resting on the instrument. The songs of the night came back to him in the morning like faint echoes of a dream. He quickly wrote down the lyrics and noted the music, then rushed to Diedrich’s house. He found him in the garden digging up winter lettuces. The mayor's wife was still in bed, so Diedrich woke her. They gathered a few friends who shared their passion for music and could play De Lisle’s compositions. One of the young women played while Rouget sang. At the first stanza, the faces around him went pale; at the second, tears fell freely; and by the last, an outburst of enthusiasm erupted. Diedrich, his wife, and the young officer embraced each other in joy. The nation's hymn was born. Unfortunately, it was destined to become a hymn of terror. The unfortunate Diedrich would later face the guillotine, to the very notes first sung in his home, by the heart of his friend and the voice of his wife.
The new song, executed some days afterwards publicly at Strasbourg, flew from town to town through all the orchestras. Marseilles adopted it to be sung at the opening and adjournment of the clubs. Hence it took the name of the Marseillaise Hymn. The old mother of De Lisle, a loyalist and a religious person, alarmed at the reverberation of her son’s name, wrote to him, “What is the meaning of this revolutionary hymn, sung by hordes of robbers who pass all over France, with which our name is mixed up?” De Lisle himself, proscribed as a Federalist, heard its re-echo upon his ears as a threat of death as he fled among the paths of Jura. “What is this song called?” he inquired of his guide. “The Marseillaise,” replied the peasant. It was with difficulty that he escaped.
The new song, performed publicly a few days later in Strasbourg, quickly spread from city to city through all the orchestras. Marseilles decided to use it for the opening and closing of their clubs. This is how it became known as the La Marseillaise Hymn. The elderly mother of De Lisle, a loyalist and deeply religious, was alarmed by the widespread mention of her son's name and wrote to him, “What is this revolutionary hymn that is sung by bands of robbers roaming all over France, which connects our name with it?” De Lisle himself, labeled as a Federalist, perceived its echoes as a death threat as he fled through the paths of Jura. “What is this song called?” he asked his guide. “The Marseillaise,” replied the peasant. He barely managed to escape.
The “Marseillaise” was the liquid fire of the revolution. It distilled into the senses and the soul of the people the frenzy of battle. Its notes floated like an ensign, dipped in warm blood over a field of combat. Glory and crime, victory and death, seemed interwoven in its strains. It was the song of patriotism; but it was the signal of fury. It accompanied warriors to the field and victims to the scaffold!
The “Marseillaise” was the passionate anthem of the revolution. It infused the senses and the spirit of the people with the excitement of battle. Its melodies soared like a flag, drenched in warm blood over a battlefield. Glory and wrongdoing, triumph and death, felt intertwined in its rhythms. It was the song of patriotism, yet it was also a call to rage. It led warriors into battle and victims to the guillotine!
There is no national air that will compare with the Marseillaise in sublimity and power: it embraces the soft cadences full of the peasant’s home, and the stormy clangor of silver and steel when an empire is overthrown; it endears the memory of the vine-dresser’s cottage, and makes the Frenchman, in his exile, cry, “La belle France!” forgetful of the sword, and torch, and guillotine, which have made his country a spectre of blood in the eyes of nations. Nor can the foreigner listen to it, sung by a company of exiles, or executed by a band of musicians, without feeling that it is the pibroch of battle and war.
There’s no national anthem that matches the Marseillaise in its grandeur and strength: it captures the gentle rhythms of rural life and the fierce clang of weapons when an empire falls; it evokes the memory of the vine grower’s cottage, making the Frenchman in exile cry, “Beautiful France!” unaware of the sword, fire, and guillotine that have turned his homeland into a haunting image of violence in the eyes of the world. A foreigner can’t help but feel that it’s the battle cry of war when they hear it sung by a group of exiles or performed by a band of musicians.
YANKEE DOODLE.
The origin of Yankee Doodle is by no means so clear as American antiquaries desire. The statement that the air was composed by Dr. Shackburg, in 1755, when the colonial troops united with the British regulars near Albany, preparatory to the attack on the French posts of Niagara and Frontenac, and that it was produced in derision of the old-fashioned equipments of the provincial soldiers as contrasted with the neat and orderly appointments of the regulars, was published some years ago in a musical magazine printed in Boston. The account there given as to the origin of the song is this:—During the attacks upon the French outposts in 1755, in America, Governor Shirley and General Jackson led the force directed against the enemy lying at Niagara and Frontenac. In the early part of June, whilst these troops were stationed on the banks of the Hudson, near Albany, the descendants of the “Pilgrim fathers” flocked in from the Eastern provinces. Never was seen such a motley regiment as took up its position on the left wing of the British army. The band played music as antiquated and outré as their uniforms; officers and privates had adopted regimentals each man after his own fashion; one wore a flowing wig, while his neighbor rejoiced in hair cropped closely to the head; this one had a coat with wonderful long skirts, his fellow marched without his upper garment; various as the colors of the rainbow were the clothes worn by the gallant band. It so happened that there was a certain Dr. Shackburg, wit, musician, and surgeon, and one evening after mess he produced a tune, which he earnestly commended, as a well-known piece of military music, to the officers of the militia. The joke succeeded, 354and Yankee Doodle was hailed by acclamation “their own march.”
The origin of Yankee Doodle isn't as clear as American historians would like it to be. It's said that the tune was created by Dr. Shackburg in 1755, when colonial troops teamed up with the British regulars near Albany to prepare for an attack on the French outposts at Niagara and Frontenac. This story, claiming the song was made to mock the old-fashioned gear of the provincial soldiers compared to the neat and orderly uniforms of the regulars, was published a few years ago in a music magazine in Boston. The account gives this origin story: During the attacks on the French outposts in 1755, Governor Shirley and General Jackson led the forces against the enemy at Niagara and Frontenac. In early June, while these troops were positioned along the Hudson near Albany, the descendants of the “Pilgrim fathers” showed up from the Eastern provinces. Never had such a mismatched regiment assembled on the left wing of the British army. The band played music as outdated and extravagant as their uniforms; officers and soldiers wore all kinds of random uniforms—one man sported a flowing wig, while his neighbor had his hair cut short; one guy had a coat with remarkably long tails, while his companion marched without a top; the clothing of this brave group was as varied as the colors of the rainbow. It just so happened that there was a Dr. Shackburg, who was a wit, musician, and surgeon, and one evening after dinner, he created a tune that he earnestly claimed was a well-known piece of military music to the militia officers. The joke worked, and Yankee Doodle was cheered as “their own march.”
This account is somewhat apocryphal, as there is no song: the tune in the United States is a march; there are no words to it of a national character. The only words ever affixed to the air in this country is the following doggerel quatrain:—
This story is a bit questionable since there’s no actual song: the melody in the United States is a march; there are no lyrics associated with it that are national in nature. The only words ever connected to this tune in this country are the following silly four lines:—
It has been asserted by English writers that the air and words of these lines are as old as Cromwell’s time. The only alteration is in making Yankee Doodle of what was Nankee Doodle. It is asserted that the tune will be found in the Musical Antiquities of England, and that Nankee Doodle was intended to apply to Cromwell, and the other lines were designed to “allude to his going into Oxford with a single plume, fastened in a knot called a macaroni.” The tune was known in New England before the Revolution as Lydia Fisher’s Jig, a name derived from a famous lady of easy virtue in the reign of Charles II., and which has been perpetuated in the following nursery-rhyme:—
It has been said by English writers that the vibe and wording of these lines are as old as Cromwell’s time. The only change is turning Yankee Doodle from what was Nankee Doodle. It’s claimed that the tune can be found in the Musical Antiquities of England, and that Nankee Doodle was meant to refer to Cromwell, with the other lines being designed to “refer to his entrance into Oxford with a single feather, tied in a knot called a macaroni.” The tune was known in New England before the Revolution as Lydia Fisher’s Jig, a name that came from a famous woman of loose morals during the reign of Charles II., and which has been carried on in the following nursery rhyme:—
The regulars in Boston in 1775 and 1776 are said to have sung verses to the same air:—
The regulars in Boston in 1775 and 1776 are said to have sung verses to the same tune:—
The manner in which the tune came to be adopted by the Americans, is shown in the following letter of the Rev. W. Gordon. Describing the battles of Lexington and Concord, before alluded to, he says:—
The way the tune was adopted by Americans is illustrated in the following letter from Rev. W. Gordon. While describing the battles of Lexington and Concord mentioned earlier, he states:—
The brigade under Lord Percy marched out (of Boston) 355playing, by way of contempt, Yankee Doodle: they were afterwards told that they had been made to dance to it.
The brigade led by Lord Percy marched out of Boston, playing, out of disdain, Yankee Doodle: they were later told that they had ended up dancing to it.
It is most likely that Yankee Doodle was originally derived from Holland. A song with the following burden has long been in use among the laborers who, in the time of harvest, migrate from Germany to the Low Countries, where they receive for their work as much buttermilk as they can drink, and a tenth of the grain secured by their exertions:—
It’s most likely that Yankee Doodle originally came from Holland. A song with the following refrain has been used for a long time by laborers who, during harvest season, travel from Germany to the Low Countries, where they get as much buttermilk as they can drink and a tenth of the grain they help harvest:—
That is, buttermilk and a tenth.
That is, buttermilk and a dime.
THE AMERICAN FLAG.
A resolution was introduced in the American Congress, June 13, 1777, “That the flag of the thirteen United States be thirteen stripes, alternately red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new constellation.” There is a striking coincidence between the design of our flag and the arms of General Washington, which consisted of three stars in the upper portion, and three bars running across the escutcheon. It is thought by some that the flag was derived from this heraldic design. History informs us that several flags were used by the Yankees before the present national one was adopted. In March, 1775, a Union flag with a red field was hoisted in New York, bearing the inscription on one side of “George Rex and the liberties of America,” and upon the reverse, “No Popery.” General Israel Putnam raised on Prospect Hill, July 18, 1775, a flag bearing on one side the motto of the commonwealth of Massachusetts, “Qui transtulit sustinet,” on the other, “An appeal to Heaven,”—an appeal well taken and amply sustained. In October, 1775, the floating batteries of Boston bore a flag with the latter motto, and a pine-tree upon a white field, with the Massachusetts emblem. Some of the colonies used in 1775 a flag with a 356rattlesnake coiled as if about to strike, and the motto “Don’t tread on me.” On January 18, 1776, the grand Union flag of the stars and stripes was raised on the heights near Boston; and it is said that some of the regulars made the great mistake of supposing it was a token of submission to the king, whose speech had just been sent to the Americans. The British Register of 1776 says, “They [the rebels] burnt the king’s speech, and changed their colors from a plain red ground to a flag with thirteen stripes, as a symbol of the number and union of the colonies.” A letter from Boston, published in the Pennsylvania Gazette, in 1776, says, “The Union flag was raised on the 2d, a compliment to the United Colonies.” These various flags, the Pine-Tree, the Rattlesnake, and the Stripes, were used, according to the tastes of the patriots, until July, 1777, when the blue union of the stars was added to the stripes, and the flag established by law. At first a stripe was added for each new State; but the flag became too large, and Congress reduced the stripes to the original thirteen, and now the stars are made to correspond in number with the States. No one, who lives under the protection of the Stars and Stripes, will deny that “the American flag is one of the most beautiful that floats upon any land or sea.” Its proportions are perfect when it is properly made,—one-half as broad as it is long. The first stripe at the top is red, the next white, and these colors alternate, making the last stripe red. The blue field for the stars is the width and square of the first seven stripes, viz., four red and three white. The colors of the American flag are in beautiful relief, and it is altogether a splendid national emblem. Long may it wave untarnished!
A resolution was introduced in the American Congress on June 13, 1777, stating, “That the flag of the thirteen United States be thirteen stripes, alternating red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white on a blue field, representing a new constellation.” There’s a noticeable similarity between the design of our flag and the coat of arms of General Washington, which featured three stars at the top and three bars across the shield. Some believe the flag was inspired by this heraldic design. History tells us that several flags were used by the Patriots before the current national flag was adopted. In March 1775, a Union flag with a red field was displayed in New York, featuring the inscription “George Rex and the liberties of America” on one side, and “No Popery” on the other. General Israel Putnam raised a flag on Prospect Hill on July 18, 1775, showcasing the motto of Massachusetts, “He who transplanted sustains” on one side, and “An appeal to Heaven” on the other—an appeal that was well taken and strongly supported. In October 1775, the floating batteries in Boston displayed a flag with that same motto and a pine tree on a white background, which was the Massachusetts emblem. Some colonies in 1775 used a flag showing a rattlesnake coiled as if ready to strike, with the motto “Don’t tread on me.” On January 18, 1776, the grand Union flag of stars and stripes was raised on the heights near Boston; it’s reported that some British regulars mistakenly thought it signified submission to the king, whose speech had just been sent to the Americans. The British Register of 1776 notes, “They [the rebels] burned the king’s speech and changed their colors from a plain red background to a flag with thirteen stripes, symbolizing the number and unity of the colonies.” A letter from Boston published in the Pennsylvania Gazette in 1776 mentioned, “The Union flag was raised on the 2nd as a tribute to the United Colonies.” These various flags, including the Pine-Tree, the Rattlesnake, and the Stripes, were used according to the preferences of the patriots until July 1777, when the blue union of stars was added to the stripes and established by law. Initially, a stripe was added for each new state, but the flag became too large, and Congress reduced the stripes back to the original thirteen, now corresponding in number with the states. No one living under the protection of the Stars and Stripes can deny that “the American flag is one of the most beautiful that flies over any land or sea.” Its proportions are perfect when made correctly—half as wide as it is long. The first stripe at the top is red, the next white, and these colors alternate, making the last stripe red. The blue field for the stars is the width and square of the first seven stripes, which are four red and three white. The colors of the American flag are strikingly vivid, and it stands as a magnificent national symbol. Long may it wave untarnished!
BROTHER JONATHAN.
The origin of this term, as applied to the United States, is as follows. When General Washington, after being appointed commander of the army of the Revolutionary War, went to Massachusetts to organize it, he found a great want of ammunition and other means of defence; and on one occasion it 357seemed that no means could be devised for the necessary safety. Jonathan Trumbull, the elder, was then Governor of the State of Connecticut; and the general, placing the greatest reliance on his excellency’s judgment, remarked, “We must consult Brother Jonathan on the subject.” The general did so, and the governor was successful in supplying many of the wants of the army; and thenceforward, when difficulties arose, and the army was spread over the country, it became a by-phrase, “We must consult Brother Jonathan;” and the name has now become a designation for the whole country, as John Bull has for England.
The origin of this term, as it relates to the United States, is as follows. When General Washington was appointed commander of the army during the Revolutionary War and went to Massachusetts to organize it, he found a serious shortage of ammunition and other defense resources. At one point, it seemed like there was no way to ensure the army's safety. Jonathan Trumbull, the elder, was the Governor of Connecticut at the time, and the general, trusting his judgment, said, “We need to consult Brother Jonathan about this.” He did, and the governor successfully provided many of the army's needs. From then on, whenever challenges arose and the army was spread out, it became a common saying, “We must consult Brother Jonathan;” and the name has since become a reference for the entire country, just like John Bull represents England.
UNCLE SAM.
Immediately after the declaration of war with England, in 1812, Elbert Anderson, of New York, then a contractor, visited Troy, where he purchased a large quantity of provisions. The inspectors of the articles at that place were Ebenezer and Samuel Wilson. The latter gentleman (universally known as “Uncle Sam”) generally superintended in person a large number of workmen, who, on this occasion, were employed in overhauling the provisions purchased by the contractor. The casks were marked “E. A.—U. S.” Their inspection fell to the lot of a facetious fellow, who, on being asked the meaning of the mark, said he did not know, unless it meant Elbert Anderson and Uncle Sam, alluding to Uncle Sam Wilson. The joke took among the workmen, and passed currently; and “Uncle Sam,” when present, was often rallied by them on the increasing extent of his possessions.
Immediately after the declaration of war with England in 1812, Elbert Anderson, a contractor from New York, visited Troy, where he bought a large quantity of supplies. The inspectors in charge there were Ebenezer and Samuel Wilson. The latter, widely known as “Uncle Sam,” usually personally oversaw a large group of workers who were, on this occasion, tasked with inspecting the provisions acquired by the contractor. The barrels were labeled “E. A.—U. S.” The inspection was assigned to a witty guy who, when asked what the mark meant, said he didn’t know, unless it stood for Elbert Anderson and Uncle Sam, referring to Uncle Sam Wilson. The joke caught on among the workers and circulated widely; and “Uncle Sam,” when he was around, was often teased by them about the increasing size of his assets.
THE DOLLAR MARK, $.
Writers are not agreed as to the derivation of this sign to
represent dollars. Some say that it comes from the letters U.
S., which, after the adoption of the Federal Constitution, were
prefixed to the Federal currency, and which afterwards, in the
hurry of writing, were run into one another, the U being made
first and the S over it. Others say that it is derived from the
contraction of the Spanish word pesos, dollars; others, from the
358Spanish fuertes, hard,—to distinguish silver from paper money.
The more plausible explanation is, that it is a modification of
the figure 8, and denotes a piece of eight reals, or, as the dollar
was formerly called, a piece of eight. It was then designated
by the figures 8
8.
Writers don’t agree on where this symbol for dollars comes from. Some believe it originates from the letters U. S., which were added to the Federal currency after the Federal Constitution was adopted, and eventually, in the rush of writing, the letters merged, with the U on top and the S below it. Others think it comes from the abbreviation of the Spanish word pesos, meaning dollars; some say it’s from the Spanish strong, meaning hard—used to distinguish silver from paper money. The most convincing explanation is that it’s a variation of the number 8, representing a piece of eight reals, which is what the dollar was originally called, a piece of eight. It was then represented by the figures 8
8.
ORIGIN OF VARIOUS INVENTIONS AND CUSTOMS.
The Saxons first introduced archery in the time of Vortigern. It was dropped immediately after the conquest, but was revived by the Crusaders, they having felt the effects of it in their combats with the Saracens, who probably derived it from the Parthians. The Normans brought with them the cross-bow, but after the time of Edward II. its use was supplanted by that of the long-bow, which became the favorite national weapon. Bows and arrows, as weapons of war, were in use with stone cannonballs as late as 1640. All the statutes for the encouragement of archery were framed after the invention of gunpowder and firearms, the object being to prevent this ancient weapon becoming obsolete. Yew-trees were encouraged in churchyards, for the making of bows, in 1642. Hence their generality in churchyards in England.
The Saxons first introduced archery during the time of Vortigern. It was quickly abandoned after the conquest but was brought back by the Crusaders, who had experienced its benefits in their battles against the Saracens, who likely learned it from the Parthians. The Normans introduced the crossbow, but after the time of Edward II, it was replaced by the longbow, which became the favorite national weapon. Bows and arrows, used as weapons of war, remained in use with stone cannonballs until as late as 1640. All the laws made to promote archery were established after the invention of gunpowder and firearms, aimed at preventing this ancient weapon from going extinct. Yew trees were encouraged in churchyards for making bows in 1642, which is why they are commonly found in churchyards throughout England.
Coats of arms, or armorial bearings, came into vogue in the reign of Richard I. of England, and became hereditary in families about the year 1192. They took their rise from the knights painting their banners with different figures to distinguish them in the Crusades.
Coats of arms, or armorial bearings, became popular during the reign of Richard I of England, and started being passed down through families around the year 1192. They originated from knights decorating their banners with various symbols to identify themselves during the Crusades.
The first standing army of modern times was established by Charles VII. of France, in 1445. Previous to that time the king had depended upon his nobles for contingents in time of war. A standing army was first established in England in 1638, by Charles I., but it was declared illegal, as well as the organization of the royal guards, in 1769. The first permanent military band instituted in England was the yeomen of the guards, established in 1486.
The first modern standing army was created by Charles VII of France in 1445. Before that, the king relied on his nobles for troop support during wars. The first standing army in England was formed in 1638 by Charles I, but it was declared illegal, along with the royal guards, in 1769. The first permanent military band in England was the yeomen of the guards, established in 1486.
Guns were invented by Swartz, a German, about 1378, and brought into use by the Venetians, in 1382. Cannon were invented 359at an anterior date: at Amberg may still be seen a piece of ordnance inscribed 1303. They were first used at the battle of Cressy in 1346. In England, they were first used at the siege of Berwick, in 1405. It was not until 1544, however, that they were cast in England. They were employed on shipboard by the Venetians in 1539, and were in use among the Turks about the same time. An artillery company was instituted in England for weekly military exercises in 1610.
Guns were invented by Swartz, a German, around 1378, and were adopted by the Venetians in 1382. Cannons were created earlier; a piece of artillery from 1303 can still be seen in Amberg. They were first used in the battle of Cressy in 1346. In England, they made their debut during the siege of Berwick in 1405. However, it wasn't until 1544 that they were manufactured in England. The Venetians used them on ships in 1539, and they were in use among the Turks around the same time. An artillery company was established in England for weekly military drills in 1610.
Dating from the Christian Era was commenced in Italy in 525, and in England in 816.
Dating from the Christian Era began in Italy in 525 and in England in 816.
Pliny gives the origin of glass-making thus. As some merchants were carrying nitre, they stopped near a river issuing from Mount Carmel. Not readily finding stones to rest their kettles on, they used some pieces of nitre for that purpose: the fire gradually dissolving the nitre, it mixed with the sand, and a transparent matter flowed, which, in fact, was glass.
Pliny explains the origin of glass-making like this: Some merchants were transporting nitre when they paused by a river coming from Mount Carmel. Not easily finding stones to place their kettles on, they used some pieces of nitre instead. As the fire slowly melted the nitre, it mixed with the sand, and a clear substance formed, which was basically glass.
Insurance of ships was first practised in the reign of Cæsar, in 45. It was a general custom in Europe in 1494. Insurance-offices were first established in London in 1667.
Insurance for ships was first practiced during the reign of Caesar in 45. It became a common practice in Europe in 1494. The first insurance offices were established in London in 1667.
Astronomy was first studied by the Moors, and was introduced by them into Europe in 1201. The rapid progress of modern astronomy dates from the time of Copernicus. Books of astronomy and geometry were destroyed, as infected with magic, in England, under the reign of Edward VI., in 1552.
Astronomy was first studied by the Moors, and they introduced it to Europe in 1201. The rapid advancement of modern astronomy began with Copernicus. In England, during the reign of Edward VI, in 1552, books on astronomy and geometry were destroyed as they were considered to be associated with magic.
Banks were first established by the Lombard Jews, in Italy. The name is derived from banco, a term applied to the benches erected in the market-places for the exchanges of money, &c. The first public bank was at Venice, in 1550. The Bank of England was established in 1693. In 1696 its notes were at twenty per cent. discount.
Banks were first set up by the Lombard Jews in Italy. The name comes from bank, which refers to the benches placed in marketplaces for exchanging money, etc. The first public bank was in Venice, in 1550. The Bank of England was established in 1693. In 1696, its notes were discounted by twenty percent.
The invention of bells is attributed to Paulinus, Bishop of Nola, in Campania, about the year 400. They were originally introduced into churches as a defence against thunder and lightning. They were first hung up in England, at Croyland Abbey, Lincolnshire, in 945. In the eleventh century and later, it was the custom to baptize them in churches before they were 360used. The curfew-bell was established in 1068. It was rung at eight o’clock in the evening, when people were obliged to put out their fire and candle. The custom was abolished in 1100. Chimes, or musical bells, were invented at Alost, in Belgium, 1487. Bellmen were appointed in London, in 1556, to ring the bells at night, and cry, “Take care of your fire and candle, be charitable to the poor, and pray for the dead.”
The invention of bells is credited to Paulinus, the Bishop of Nola, in Campania, around the year 400. They were initially introduced in churches as a protection against thunder and lightning. The first bells were hung in England at Croyland Abbey, Lincolnshire, in 945. In the eleventh century and beyond, it became customary to baptize them in churches before they were 360 degrees used. The curfew bell was established in 1068, ringing at eight o'clock in the evening, signaling that people had to extinguish their fire and candle. This practice was abolished in 1100. Chimes, or musical bells, were invented in Alost, Belgium, in 1487. In 1556, bellmen were appointed in London to ring the bells at night and announce, “Take care of your fire and candle, be charitable to the poor, and pray for the dead.”
How many are aware of the origin of the word “boo!” used to frighten children? It is a corruption of Boh, the name of a fierce Gothic general, the son of Odin, the mention of whose name spread a panic among his enemies.
How many people know where the word “boo!” comes from that’s used to scare children? It’s a twist on Boh, the name of a fierce Gothic general, the son of Odin, whose name struck fear into the hearts of his enemies.
Book-keeping was first introduced into England from Italy by Peele, in 1569. It was derived from a system of algebra published by Burgo, at Venice.
Bookkeeping was first brought to England from Italy by Peele in 1569. It came from an algebra system published by Burgo in Venice.
Notaries public were first appointed by the Fathers of the Christian Church to make a collection of the acts or memoirs of martyrs in the first century.
Notaries public were first appointed by the leaders of the Christian Church to gather the writings or accounts of martyrs in the first century.
The administration of the oath in civil cases is of high antiquity. See Exodus xxii. 11. Swearing on the Gospels was first used in 528. The oath was first administered in judicial proceedings in England by the Saxons, in 600. The words “So help me God, and all saints,” concluded an oath, till 1550.
The administration of oaths in civil cases has a long history. See Exodus 22:11. Swearing on the Gospels was first introduced in 528. The Saxons administered the first judicial oath in England in 600. The phrase “So help me God, and all saints” concluded an oath until 1550.
Signals to be used at sea were first contrived by James II., when he was Duke of York, in 1665. They were afterwards improved by the French commander Tourville, and by Admiral Balchen.
Signals to be used at sea were first created by James II, when he was the Duke of York, in 1665. They were later enhanced by the French commander Tourville and by Admiral Balchen.
Raw silk is said to have first been made by a people of China called Ceres, 150 B. C. It was first brought from India, in 274, and a pound of it at that time was worth a pound of gold. The manufacture of raw silk was introduced into Europe from India by some monks in 550. Silk dresses were first worn in 1455. The eggs of the silk-worm were first brought into Europe in 527.
Raw silk is said to have first been created by a group in China called the Ceres, around 150 BCE It was initially imported from India in 274, and at that time, a pound of it was worth a pound of gold. The process of making raw silk was brought to Europe from India by some monks in 550. Silk dresses were worn for the first time in 1455. The eggs of the silk-worm were first introduced to Europe in 527.
Paulus Jovius was the first person who introduced mottoes; Dorat, the first who brought anagrams into fashion. Rabelais 361was the first who wrote satires in French prose; Etienne Jodelle, the first who introduced tragedies into France. The Cardinal of Ferrara, Archbishop of Lyons, was the first who had a tragicomedy performed on the stage of Italian comedians. The first sonnet that appeared in French is attributed to Jodelle.
Paulus Jovius was the first person to introduce mottoes; Dorat was the first to make anagrams popular. Rabelais was the first to write satires in French prose, and Etienne Jodelle was the first to bring tragedies to France. The Cardinal of Ferrara, Archbishop of Lyons, was the first to have a tragicomedy performed by Italian comedians. The first sonnet that was published in French is credited to Jodelle.
Guido Aretino, a Benedictine monk of Arezzo, Tuscany, in 1204 designated the notes used in the musical scale by syllables derived from the following verses of a Latin hymn dedicated to St. John:—
Guido Aretino, a Benedictine monk from Arezzo, Tuscany, in 1204 identified the notes in the musical scale using syllables taken from the following verses of a Latin hymn dedicated to St. John:—
UT queant | laxis REsonare fibris, |
Gesture language | Your family, |
SOLve pollution | LAbii reatum. |
O Loving Father. |
By this means he converted the old tetrachord into hexachords. He also invented lines and spaces in musical notation.
By doing this, he transformed the old tetrachord into hexachords. He also created lines and spaces in musical notation.
The invention of clocks is by some ascribed to Pacificus, Archdeacon of Verona, in the ninth century; and by others, to Boethius, in the early part of the sixth. The Saracens are supposed to have had clocks which were moved by weights, as early as the eleventh century; and, as the term is applied by Dante to a machine which struck the hours, clocks must have been known in Italy about the end of the thirteenth or beginning of the fourteenth century. The most ancient clock of which we have any certain account was erected in a tower of the palace of Charles V., King of France, in 1364, by Henry de Wyck or de Vick, a German artist. A clock was erected at Strasbourg in 1370, at Courtray about the same period, and at Speyer in 1395.
The invention of clocks is attributed by some to Pacificus, Archdeacon of Verona, in the ninth century, and by others to Boethius, in the early sixth century. It's believed that the Saracens had clocks powered by weights as early as the eleventh century. Since Dante refers to a machine that marked the hours, clocks must have been known in Italy by the late thirteenth or early fourteenth century. The oldest clock we have a definite record of was installed in a tower of the palace of Charles V, King of France, in 1364, by Henry de Wyck or de Vick, a German craftsman. A clock was also set up in Strasbourg in 1370, in Courtray around the same time, and in Speyer in 1395.
Watches are said to have been made at Nuremberg as early as 1477; but it is uncertain how far the watches then constructed resembled those now in use. Some of the early ones were very small, in the shape of a pear, and sometimes fitted into the top of a walking-stick. As time-keepers, watches could have had very little value before the application of the spiral spring as a regulator to the balance. This was invented by Hooke, in 1658.
Watches are believed to have been made in Nuremberg as early as 1477, but it's unclear how much the watches from that time were like the ones we have today. Some of the earliest models were very small, shaped like a pear, and occasionally were built into the tops of walking sticks. As timekeepers, watches probably didn't have much value before the introduction of the spiral spring as a regulator for the balance, which was invented by Hooke in 1658.
362The use of the pendulum was suggested by a circumstance similar to that which started in Newton’s mind the train of thought that led to the theory of gravitation. Galileo, when under twenty years of age, standing one day in the metropolitan church of Pisa, observed a lamp, which was suspended from the ceiling, and which had been disturbed by accident, swing backwards and forwards. This was a thing so common that thousands, no doubt, had observed it before; but Galileo, struck with the regularity with which it moved backwards and forwards, reflected upon it, and perfected the method now in use of measuring time by means of a pendulum.
362The idea of using a pendulum came from a situation similar to what sparked Newton's thinking that led to the theory of gravity. When Galileo was under twenty, he was standing one day in the main church of Pisa and noticed a lamp hanging from the ceiling that had accidentally been set in motion, swinging back and forth. This was something so ordinary that many people had probably seen it before; however, Galileo was impressed by the regularity of its motion and thought about it, eventually developing the method we now use to measure time with a pendulum.
A monk named Rivalto mentions, in a sermon preached in Florence in 1305, that spectacles had then been known about twenty years. This would place the invention about the year 1285.
A monk named Rivalto mentions, in a sermon preached in Florence in 1305, that glasses had been known for about twenty years. This would date the invention to around 1285.
Quills are supposed to have been used for writing-pens in the fifth century, though the conjecture rests mainly on an anecdote of Theodoric, King of the Ostrogoths, who, being so illiterate that he could not write even the initials of his own name, was provided with a plate of gold through which the letters were cut, and, this being placed on the paper when his signature was required, he traced the letters with a quill. The date of the earliest certain account of the modern writing-pen is 636. The next notice occurs in the latter part of the same century, in a Latin sonnet to a pen by Aldhelm, a Saxon author. The reeds formerly employed are still used in some Eastern nations. Steel pens were first made by Wise, in England, in 1803.
Quills were supposedly used as writing pens in the fifth century, though this idea mainly comes from a story about Theodoric, King of the Ostrogoths, who was so illiterate that he couldn't even write the initials of his own name. He was given a gold plate with letters cut into it, and when he needed to sign something, he would place the plate on the paper and trace the letters with a quill. The earliest confirmed mention of the modern writing pen dates back to 636. The next reference comes later in the same century in a Latin sonnet about a pen by Aldhelm, a Saxon writer. The reeds that were used before are still employed in some Eastern countries. Steel pens were first created by Wise in England in 1803.
The first known treatise on stenography is the curious and scarce little work entitled “Arte of Shorte, Swifte, and Secrete Writing by Character, invented by Timothe Bright, Doctor of Phisike.”
The first known book on shorthand is the interesting and rare little work called “Arte of Shorte, Swifte, and Secrete Writing by Character, invented by Timothe Bright, Doctor of Phisike.”
The art of printing, according to Du Halde and the missionaries, was practised in China nearly fifty years before the Christian Era. In the time of Confucius, B.C. 500, books were formed of slips of bamboo; and about 150 years after Christ, paper was first made; A.D. 745, books were bound into leaves; 363A.D. 900, printing was in general use. The process of printing is simple. The materials consist of a graver, blocks of wood, and a brush, which the printers carry with them from place to place. Without wheel, or wedge, or screw, a printer will throw off more than two thousand five hundred impressions in one day. The paper (thin) can be bought for one-fourth the price in China that it can in any other country. The works of Confucius, six volumes, four hundred leaves, octavo, can be bought for twelve cents.
The art of printing, according to Du Halde and the missionaries, was practiced in China nearly fifty years before the Christian Era. During the time of Confucius, around 500 B.C., books were made from strips of bamboo; about 150 years after Christ, paper was first invented; by A.D. 745, books were bound into leaves; and by A.D. 900, printing was widely used. The printing process is straightforward. The materials include a graver, wooden blocks, and a brush, which printers carry with them wherever they go. Without a wheel, wedge, or screw, a printer can produce more than two thousand five hundred impressions in a single day. The thin paper can be purchased for a quarter of the cost in China compared to any other country. The works of Confucius, consisting of six volumes with four hundred leaves in octavo format, can be bought for twelve cents.
Stamps for marking wares, packages, &c. were in use among the Roman tradesmen; and it is highly probable that had the modern art of making paper been known to the ancients, they would have diffused among themselves, and transmitted to posterity, printed books.
Stamps for marking goods, packages, etc. were used by Roman tradesmen; and it’s very likely that if the modern technique of making paper had been known to the ancients, they would have shared it among themselves and passed down printed books to future generations.
From the early commercial intercourse of the Venetians with China, there is reason to believe that the knowledge of the art and of its application to the multiplying of books was derived from thence; for Venice is the first place in Europe, of which we have any account, in which it was practised, a Government decree respecting it having been issued October 11, 1441. Previous to the year 1450, all printing had been executed by means of engraved blocks of wood; but about this period, the great and accumulating expense of engraving blocks for each separate work led to the substitution of movable metal types. The credit of this great improvement is given to Peter Schœffer, the assistant and son-in-law of John Faust, of Mentz, (commonly called Dr. Faustus.) The first book printed with the cast metal types was the “Mentz Bible,” which was executed by Faust and Guttemberg, between the years 1450 and 1455.
From the early trading interactions between the Venetians and China, it’s believed that they gained knowledge of the art of book printing and its application from there; Venice is the first place in Europe we know of where this was practiced, with a government decree about it issued on October 11, 1441. Before 1450, all printing was done using carved wooden blocks, but around this time, the high cost of engraving blocks for each individual work led to the use of movable metal types instead. This significant advancement is credited to Peter Schœffer, who was the assistant and son-in-law of John Faust from Mentz (often referred to as Dr. Faustus). The first book printed using cast metal types was the “Mentz Bible,” created by Faust and Gutenberg between 1450 and 1455.
The Dutch claim to have originated stereotyping. They have, as they say, a prayer-book stereotyped in 1701. The first attempt at stereotyping in America was made in 1775, by Benjamin Mecom, a printer of Philadelphia. He cast plates for a number of pages of the New Testament, but never completed them.
The Dutch say they were the first to create stereotyping. They claim to have a prayer book that's stereotyped from 1701. The first attempt at stereotyping in America happened in 1775, by Benjamin Mecom, a printer in Philadelphia. He made plates for several pages of the New Testament but never finished them.
The first printing-press in America was established at Cambridge, Mass., in 1639.
The first printing press in America was set up in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in 1639.
COCK-FIGHTING.
Themistocles, marching against the Persians, beheld two gamecocks in the heat of battle, and thereupon pointed out to his Athenian soldiery their indomitable courage. The Athenians were victorious; and Themistocles gave order that an annual cock-fight should be held in commemoration of the encounter they had witnessed. No record of this sport occurs in England before the year 1191.
Themistocles, leading his troops against the Persians, saw two gamecocks fiercely fighting and then highlighted their unbeatable spirit to his Athenian soldiers. The Athenians won, and Themistocles commanded that an annual cockfight be held to honor the battle they had witnessed. There are no records of this sport in England before the year 1191.
TURNCOAT.
The opprobious epithet, turncoat, took its rise from one of the first dukes of Savoy, whose dominions lying open to the incursions of the two contending houses of Spain and France, he was obliged to temporize and fall in with that power that was most likely to distress him, according to the success of their arms against one another. So being frequently obliged to change sides, he humorously got a coat made that was blue on one side, and white on the other, and might be indifferently worn either side out. While in the Spanish interest, he wore the blue side out, and the white side was the badge for the French. Hence he was called Emmanuel, surnamed the Turncoat, by way of distinguishing him from other princes of the same name of that house.
The negative term, turncoat, originated from one of the early dukes of Savoy. His lands were vulnerable to attacks from the rival factions of Spain and France, so he had to adapt and align himself with whichever side posed the most threat at the time, depending on their military success. Since he often had to switch allegiances, he humorously had a coat made that was blue on one side and white on the other, allowing him to wear either side outward. When supporting the Spanish side, he wore the blue side out, while the white side represented the French interest. As a result, he was called Emmanuel, nicknamed the Turncoat, to differentiate him from other princes of the same name in that house.
INDIA-RUBBER.
Caoutchouc was long known before its most valuable qualities were appreciated. One of the earliest notices of its practical use occurs in Dr. Priestly’s Theory and Practice of Perspective, printed in 1770. “I have seen” says he, “a substance excellently adapted to the purpose of wiping from paper the marks of a black lead-pencil. It must, therefore, be of singular use to those who practice drawing. It is sold by Mr. Nairne, mathematical instrument-maker, opposite the Royal Exchange. He sells a cubical piece, of about half an inch, for three shillings; and, he says, it will last several years.”
Caoutchouc was known for a long time before its most valuable qualities were recognized. One of the earliest mentions of its practical use is in Dr. Priestly’s Theory and Practice of Perspective, published in 1770. “I have seen,” he says, “a substance perfectly suited for wiping the marks of a graphite pencil off of paper. It must, therefore, be incredibly useful for those who draw. It is sold by Mr. Nairne, a mathematical instrument maker, across from the Royal Exchange. He sells a cubic piece, about half an inch, for three shillings; and he says it will last several years.”
FRICTION MATCHES.
In 1836 the subject of friction matches attracted the attention of Mr. L. C. Allin, of Springfield, Massachusetts. At that time a clumsy phosphoric match, imported from France, had come into limited use in the United States. It was made by dipping the match-stick first into sulphur, and then into a paste composed of chloride of potash, red lead, and loaf sugar. Each box of matches was accompanied by a bottle of sulphuric acid, into which every match had to be dipped in order to light it. To abolish this inconvenience, and make a match which would light from the friction caused by any rough surface, was the task to which young Allin applied himself. He succeeded, but took out no patent. On being urged to do so, he found that a patent had already been obtained by one Phillips of Chicopee, a peddler, who had probably picked up through a third party the result of Mr. Allin’s study. Mr. Allin’s legal adviser thought that he (Allin) would do better to have the right to manufacture under Phillips’ patent (which Phillips gave him without charge, in consideration of the waiving of his claim,) than to bear the expense of the litigation which was feared to be necessary to establish his claim. So the inventor of friction matches became simply a manufacturer under another man’s patent.
In 1836, the topic of friction matches caught the attention of Mr. L. C. Allin from Springfield, Massachusetts. At that time, a bulky phosphoric match imported from France had started to see limited use in the United States. It was made by dipping the matchstick first into sulfur, then into a paste made up of potassium chloride, red lead, and granulated sugar. Each box of matches came with a bottle of sulfuric acid, into which each match had to be dipped to light it. To eliminate this hassle and create a match that would ignite from the friction of any rough surface was the challenge that young Allin took on. He succeeded but didn’t file for a patent. When encouraged to do so, he discovered that a man named Phillips from Chicopee, a peddler, had already obtained a patent, likely having learned about Allin’s research through a third party. Allin’s lawyer believed it would be better for him to secure the right to manufacture under Phillips’ patent (which Phillips granted him free of charge in exchange for waiving his claim) rather than incur the costs of potential litigation to prove his claim. So, the inventor of friction matches ended up simply manufacturing under someone else’s patent.
THE FLAG OF ENGLAND.
On the 12th of April, 1606, the Union Jack—that famous ensign—first made its appearance. From Rymer’s Fœdera, and the Scottish Annals of Sir James Balfour, we learn that some differences having arisen between ships of the two countries at sea, the king ordained that a new flag be adopted with the crosses of St. Andrew and St. George interlaced, by placing the latter fimbriated on the blue flag of Scotland as the ground thereof. This flag all ships were to carry at their main top; but English ships were to display St. George’s red cross at their stern, and the Scottish the white saltire of St. Andrew.
On April 12, 1606, the Union Jack—that famous flag—first appeared. From Rymer’s Fœdera and the Scottish Annals of Sir James Balfour, we learn that some disagreements arose between ships from the two countries at sea, so the king ordered a new flag to be adopted featuring the crosses of St. Andrew and St. George intertwined, with the latter outlined on the blue flag of Scotland as the background. All ships were required to display this flag at their main top; however, English ships were to show St. George’s red cross at their stern, and Scottish ships the white saltire of St. Andrew.
BLUE-STOCKING.
It was the fashion in London, in 1781, for ladies to have evening assemblies, where they might participate in conversation with literary men. These societies acquired the name of Blue-Stocking Clubs,—an appellation which has been applied to pedantic females ever since. It arose from the custom of Mr. Stillingfleet, one of the most eminent members, wearing blue stockings. Such was the excellence of his conversation, and his absence was so great a loss, that it used to be said, “We can do nothing without the Blue Stockings;” and thus the title was gradually established. In Hannah More’s poem, Bas bleu, many of the most conspicuous members are mentioned.
In 1781, it was the trend in London for women to host evening gatherings where they could engage in conversation with literary men. These groups came to be known as Blue-Stocking Clubs—a term that has since been associated with overly scholarly women. This nickname came from Mr. Stillingfleet, one of the club's most distinguished members, who wore blue stockings. His conversation was so valued, and his absence felt so deeply, that people would say, “We can do nothing without the Blue Stockings;” and that's how the name stuck. In Hannah More’s poem, Bas bleu, several prominent members are mentioned.
SKEDADDLE.
This word may be easily traced to a Greek origin. The verb σκεδαννυμι, of which the root is σκεδα, is used freely by Thucydides, Herodotus, and other Greek writers, in describing the dispersion of a routed army. From the root σκεδα the word skedaddle is formed by simply adding the euphonious termination dle and doubling the d, as required by the analogy of our language in such words. In many words of undoubted Greek extraction much greater changes are made.
This word can easily be traced back to Greek origins. The verb σκεδαννυμι, which has the root σκεδα, is used frequently by Thucydides, Herodotus, and other Greek authors to describe the scattering of a defeated army. The word skedaddle is formed from the root σκεδα by simply adding the more pleasing ending dle and doubling the d, as our language typically does with such words. Many words that clearly come from Greek undergo far greater transformations.
The Swedes have a similar word, skuddadahl, and the Danes another, skyededehl, both of which have the same signification.
The Swedes have a similar word, skuddadahl, and the Danes have another one, skyededehl, both of which mean the same thing.
An old version of the Irish New Testament contains the passage, “For it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be sgedad ol.” This compound Irish word sgedad ol (all scattered or utterly routed) was probably used by some Irishman at Bull Run, and, being regarded as felicitous, was at once adopted.
An old version of the Irish New Testament includes the passage, “For it is written, I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be sgedad ol.” This compound Irish word sgedad ol (meaning all scattered or completely routed) was likely used by an Irishman at Bull Run, and, seeing it as fitting, was immediately adopted.
FOOLSCAP PAPER.
The term of “foolscap,” to designate a certain size of paper, no doubt has puzzled many an anxious inquirer. It appears that Charles I., of England, granted numerous monopolies for the support of the Government, among others the manufacture of paper. The water-mark of the finest sort was the 367royal arms of England. The consumption of this article was great, and large fortunes were made by those who purchased the exclusive right to vend it. This, among other monopolies, was set aside by the Parliament that brought Charles I. to the scaffold; and, by way of showing contempt for the King, they ordered the royal arms to be taken from the paper, and a fool with his cap and bells to be substituted. It is now over two hundred years since the fool’s cap was taken from the paper, but still the paper of the size which the Rump Parliament ordered for their journals bears the name of the water-mark placed there as an indignity to King Charles.
The term “foolscap,” used to refer to a specific size of paper, has likely left many people confused. It turns out that Charles I of England granted several monopolies to support the Government, including one for paper manufacturing. The watermark for the highest quality paper featured the royal arms of England. There was a huge demand for this paper, and those who obtained the exclusive rights to sell it made considerable fortunes. However, this monopoly, along with others, was abolished by the Parliament that executed Charles I. To express their disdain for the King, they ordered the royal arms to be removed from the paper and replaced with an image of a fool wearing a cap and bells. It has been over two hundred years since the fool’s cap was removed from the paper, but the size that the Rump Parliament specified for their journals still carries the watermark that was intended as an insult to King Charles.
THE FIRST FORGED BANK-NOTE.
Sixty-four years after the establishment of the Bank of England, the first forged note was presented for payment, and to Richard William Vaughn, a Stafford linen-draper, belongs the melancholy celebrity of having led the van in this new phase of crime, in the year 1758. The records of his life do not show want, beggary or starvation urging him, but a simple desire to seem greater than he was. By one of the artists employed (and there were several engaged on different parts of the notes) the discovery was made. The criminal had filled up to the number of twenty and deposited them in the hands of a young lady to whom he was attached, as a proof of his wealth. There is no calculating how much longer bank-notes might have been free from imitation had this man not shown with what ease they could be counterfeited. From this period forged notes became common. His execution did not deter others from the offence, and many a neck was forfeited to the halter before the late abolition of capital punishment for that crime.
Sixty-four years after the Bank of England was established, the first forged note was presented for payment, and Richard William Vaughn, a linen dealer from Stafford, became the unfortunate figure who initiated this new type of crime in 1758. His life records don't indicate poverty or desperation pushing him to this act, but rather a simple desire to appear more important than he really was. One of the artists working on the notes discovered the forgery. The criminal had made twenty forgeries and gave them to a young lady he was romantically involved with, as proof of his wealth. It's hard to say how much longer banknotes might have remained safe from imitation if this man hadn't demonstrated how easily they could be faked. From that point on, forged notes became common. His execution didn’t stop others from committing the same crime, and many lost their lives to the noose before the eventual abolition of the death penalty for that offense.
THE FIRST PIANO-FORTE.
A play-bill of the Covent Garden Theatre, dated May 16, 1767, after setting forth the performance of The Beggar’s Opera, contains the following notification:—“End of Act First, Miss Brickler will sing a favorite song from Judith, accompanied by Mr. Dibdin on a new instrument called Piano-Forte.” 368The first manufacturer is believed to be a German named Backers, as there is still in existence the name-board of a piano inscribed “Americus Backers, Factor et Inventor, Jermyn Street, London, 1776.”
A playbill from the Covent Garden Theatre, dated May 16, 1767, after outlining the performance of The Beggar’s Opera, includes the following announcement:—“At the end of Act One, Miss Brickler will sing a popular song from Judith, accompanied by Mr. Dibdin on a new instrument called the Piano-Forte.” 368 The first known manufacturer is thought to be a German named Backers, as there still exists a nameplate of a piano inscribed “Americus Backers, Factor et Inventor, Jermyn Street, London, 1776.”
THE FIRST DOCTORS.
The title of Doctor was invented in the twelfth century, at the first establishment of the universities. The first person upon whom it was conferred was Irnerius, a learned Professor of Law, at the University of Bologna. He induced the Emperor Lothaire II., whose Chancellor he was, to create the title; and he himself was the first recipient of it. He was made Doctor of Laws by that university. Subsequently the title was borrowed by the faculty of Theology, and first conferred by the University of Paris on Peter Lombard, the celebrated scholastic theologian. William Gordenio was the first person upon whom the title of Doctor of Medicine was bestowed. He received it from the college at Asti, in 1329.
The title of Doc was created in the twelfth century when the first universities were established. The first person to receive it was Irnerius, a knowledgeable Professor of Law at the University of Bologna. He persuaded Emperor Lothaire II., for whom he was Chancellor, to create the title, becoming its first recipient. He was awarded the title of Doctor of Laws by that university. Later, the title was adopted by the faculty of Theology, and it was first awarded by the University of Paris to Peter Lombard, the famous scholastic theologian. William Gordenio was the first to be given the title of Doctor of Medicine, receiving it from the college at Asti in 1329.
THE FIRST THANKSGIVING PROCLAMATION.
The first proclamation of Thanksgiving Day that is to be found in a printed form is the one issued by his Excellency Francis Bernard, Captain-General and Governor-in-Chief in and over His Majesty’s province of the Massachusetts Bay, in New England, and Vice-Admiral of the same, in 1767. It is as follows:—
The earliest printed announcement of Thanksgiving Day is the one issued by his Excellency Francis Bernard, Captain-General and Governor-in-Chief of His Majesty’s province of Massachusetts Bay in New England, as well as Vice-Admiral of the same, in 1767. It states:—
A Public Thanksgiving Proclamation.
As the Business of the Year is now drawing towards a Conclusion, we are reminded, according to the laudable Usage of this Province, to join together in a grateful Acknowledgement of the manifold Mercies of the Divine Providence conferred upon Us in the passing Year: Wherefore, I have thought fit to appoint, and I do with the advice of His Majesty’s Council appoint, Thursday, the Third Day of December next, to be a day of public Thanksgiving, that we may thereupon with one Heart and Voice return our most humble Thanks to Almighty 369God for the gracious Dispensations of His Providence since the last religious Anniversary of this kind: and especially for—that he has been pleased to preserve and maintain our most gracious Sovereign King George in Health and Wealth, in Peace and Honour; and to extend the Blessings of his Government to the remotest Part of his Dominions;—that He hath been pleased to bless and preserve our gracious Queen Charlotte, their Royal Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Princess Dowager of Wales, and all the Royal family, and by the frequent Encrease of the Royal Issue to assure to us the Continuation of the Blessings which we derive from that illustrious House;—that He hath been pleased to prosper the whole British Empire by the Preservation of Peace, the Encrease of Trade, and the opening of new Sources of National Wealth;—and now particularly that he hath been pleased to favor the people of this province with healthy and kindly Seasons, and to bless the Labour of their Hands with a Sufficiency of the Produce of the Earth and of the Sea.
As the Business of the Year comes to a close, we're reminded, following the commendable tradition of this Province, to come together in grateful acknowledgment of the many blessings from Divine Providence we've received over the past year. For this reason, I've decided, with the advice of His Majesty’s Council, to appoint Thursday, the Third Day of December next, as a public day of Thanksgiving. This will allow us, with one heart and voice, to express our deepest gratitude to Almighty God for His gracious guidance since the last similar religious celebration, especially for preserving and maintaining our most gracious Sovereign King George in health and prosperity, in peace and honor, and for extending the blessings of his government to the farthest reaches of his dominions; for blessing and preserving our gracious Queen Charlotte, their Royal Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Princess Dowager of Wales, and the entire Royal family, and assuring us of continued blessings through the frequent increase of the Royal lineage from that illustrious House; for prospering the whole British Empire through the preservation of peace, the growth of trade, and the opening of new sources of national wealth; and now, particularly for favoring the people of this province with healthy and gentle seasons, and for blessing the work of their hands with enough produce from both land and sea.
And I do exhort all Ministers of the Gospel, with their several Congregations, within this Province, that they assemble on the said Day in a Solemn manner to return their most humble thanks to Almighty God for these and all other His Mercies vouchsafed unto us, and to beseech Him, notwithstanding our Unworthiness, to continue his gracious Providence over us. And I command and enjoin all Magistrates and Civil Officers to see that the said Day be observed as a Day set apart for religious worship, and that no servile Labour be permitted thereon.
And I urge all Ministers of the Gospel, along with their respective Congregations in this Province, to gather on that Day in a solemn way to express their most humble gratitude to Almighty God for these and all other mercies He has shown us, and to ask Him, despite our unworthiness, to keep providing His grace over us. I also instruct all Magistrates and Civil Officers to ensure that this Day is recognized as a time dedicated to religious worship, and that no work is allowed on that day.
Given at the Council Chamber in Boston, the Fourth Day of November, 1767, in the Eighth Year of the Reign of our Sovereign Lord George the Third, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, France and Ireland, King, Defender of the Faith, &c.
Given at the Council Chamber in Boston, on November 4, 1767, in the eighth year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord George III, by the Grace of God, King of Great Britain, France, and Ireland, Defender of the Faith, etc.
By his Excellency’s Command.
By the command of His Excellency.
THE FIRST PRAYER IN CONGRESS.
In Thatcher’s Military Journal, under date of December, 1777, is a note containing the first prayer in Congress, made by the Rev. Jacob Duché, rector of Christ Church, a gentleman of learning and eloquence, who subsequently proved traitorous to the cause of Independence:—
In Thatcher’s Military Journal, dated December 1777, there’s a note about the first prayer in Congress, given by Rev. Jacob Duché, rector of Christ Church, a well-educated and eloquent man, who later turned against the cause of Independence:—
O Lord our heavenly Father, high and mighty King of kings and Lord of lords, who dost from thy throne behold all the dwellers on earth, and reignest with power supreme and uncontrolled over all the kingdoms, empires, and governments; look down in mercy, we beseech thee, on these American states, who have fled to thee from the rod of the oppressor, and thrown themselves on thy gracious protection, desiring to be henceforth dependent only on thee; to thee they have appealed for the righteousness of their cause; to thee do they now look up for that countenance and support which thou alone canst give; take them, therefore, heavenly Father, under thy nurturing care; give them wisdom in council, and valor in the field; defeat the malicious designs of our cruel adversaries; convince them of the unrighteousness of their cause; and if they still persist in their sanguinary purposes, O let the voice of thine own unerring justice, sounding in their hearts, constrain them to drop the weapons of war from their unnerved hands in the day of battle. Be thou present, O God of Wisdom, and direct the counsels of this honorable assembly; enable them to settle things on the best and surest foundation, that the scene of blood may be speedily closed, that order, harmony, and peace may be effectually restored, and truth and justice, religion and piety, prevail and flourish amongst thy people. Preserve the health of their bodies and the vigor of their minds; shower down on them and the millions they here represent, such temporal blessings as thou seest expedient for them in this world, and crown them with everlasting glory in the world to come. All this we ask in the name and through the merits of Jesus Christ, thy Son, our Saviour. Amen!
O Lord our heavenly Father, high and mighty King of kings and Lord of lords, who from your throne sees all the people on earth, and rules with supreme and total power over all kingdoms, empires, and governments; look down in mercy, we ask you, on these American states, who have turned to you from the oppression they faced, and have placed themselves under your gracious protection, wanting to be dependent only on you; to you they have appealed for the righteousness of their cause; to you they now look for the support and guidance that only you can provide; take them, therefore, heavenly Father, under your nurturing care; give them wisdom in their decisions, and courage in battle; thwart the wicked plans of our cruel enemies; make them realize the wrongness of their cause; and if they continue with their bloody intentions, O let your own unwavering justice, resonating in their hearts, force them to drop the weapons of war from their trembling hands on the day of battle. Be present, O God of Wisdom, and guide the discussions of this honorable assembly; empower them to establish things on the best and most secure foundation, so that the bloodshed may quickly come to an end, and that order, harmony, and peace may be effectively restored, as truth and justice, religion and piety, prevail and thrive among your people. Preserve their health and strengthen their minds; shower upon them and the millions they represent, the blessings you see fit for them in this world, and grant them everlasting glory in the world to come. We ask all this in the name and through the merits of Jesus Christ, your Son, our Savior. Amen!
THE FIRST REPORTERS.
In Sylvester O’Halloran’s History and Antiquities of Ireland, published in Dublin in 1772, is the curious entry subjoined. Bille, a Milesian king of a portion of Spain, had a son named Gollamh, who “solicited his father’s permission to assist their Phœnician ancestors, then greatly distressed by continual wars,” and having gained his consent, the passage describing the result proceeds thus:—
In Sylvester O’Halloran’s History and Antiquities of Ireland, published in Dublin in 1772, there is an interesting entry added. Bille, a Milesian king from a part of Spain, had a son named Gollamh, who “asked his father for permission to help their Phoenician ancestors, who were then struggling due to ongoing wars,” and after getting his consent, the following passage describes what happened next:—
With a well-appointed fleet of thirty ships and a select number of intrepid warriors, he weighed anchor from the harbor of Corunna for Syria. It appears that war was not the sole business of this equipment; for in this fleet were embarked twelve youths of uncommon learning and abilities, who were directed to make remarks on whatever they found new, either in astronomy, navigation, arts, sciences, or manufactures. They were to communicate their remarks and discoveries to each other, and keep an exact account of whatever was worthy of notice. This took place in the year of the world, 2650.
With a well-equipped fleet of thirty ships and a handpicked group of brave warriors, he set sail from the harbor of Corunna for Syria. It seems that war wasn't the only purpose of this expedition; onboard were twelve exceptionally knowledgeable and skilled young men, tasked with noting down anything new they encountered in fields like astronomy, navigation, arts, sciences, or manufacturing. They were to share their observations and discoveries with one another and keep a detailed record of anything noteworthy. This occurred in the year 2650.
These twelve youths were reporters, and if this story be true, the profession constituting “the fourth estate” may boast of an ancient lineage.
These twelve young people were reporters, and if this story is true, the profession known as “the fourth estate” can claim a long history.
THE FIRST EPIGRAM.
Among “first things,” the following is worth preserving, as it is believed to be the first epigram extant in the English language. It was written by Sir Thomas Wyat, who in some of his sonnets did not hesitate to intimate his secret passion for Anne Boleyn.
Among “first things,” the following is worth keeping, as it’s believed to be the first epigram still existing in the English language. It was written by Sir Thomas Wyatt, who in some of his sonnets didn't shy away from hinting at his secret love for Anne Boleyn.
Of a new married student that plaid fast or lose.
NEWS.
The word news is commonly supposed to be derived from the adjective new. It is asserted, however, that its origin is traceable to a custom in former times of placing on the newspapers of the day the initial letters of the cardinal points of the compass, thus:—
The word news is generally believed to come from the adjective new. However, it is claimed that its origin can be traced back to an old practice of printing the initial letters of the cardinal points on the newspapers of the day, like this:—
These letters were intended to indicate that the paper contained intelligence from the four quarters of the globe, but they finally came to assume the form of the word news, from which the term newspaper is derived.
These letters were meant to show that the paper included information from all around the world, but they ultimately transformed into the word news, which is the basis for the term newspaper.
THE EARLIEST NEWSPAPERS.
The Englishe Mercurie, now in MS. in the British Museum, has been proved to be a forgery. The oldest regular newspaper published in England was established by Nathaniel Butter, in 1662.
The English Mercury, now in manuscript form in the British Museum, has been confirmed as a forgery. The first regular newspaper published in England was started by Nathaniel Butter in 1662.
The oldest paper in France was commenced by Theophrastus Renaudet, in 1632, during the reign of Louis XIII. It was called the Gazette de France.
The oldest newspaper in France was started by Theophrastus Renaudet in 1632, during the reign of Louis XIII. It was named the France Gazette.
The first Dutch newspaper, which is still continued under the name of the Haarlem Courant, is dated January 8, 1656. It was then called De Weeckelycke Courante van Europa, and contained two small folio pages of news.
The first Dutch newspaper, which is still published today under the name of the Haarlem News, is dated January 8, 1656. It was originally called The Weekly European News, and had two small folio pages of news.
The first Russian newspaper was published in 1703. Peter the Great not only took part personally in its editorial composition, but in correcting proofs, as appears from sheets still in existence in which are marks and alterations in his own hand. There are two complete copies of the first year’s edition of this paper in the Imperial Library at St. Petersburg.
The first Russian newspaper came out in 1703. Peter the Great was personally involved in its editing and also in proofreading, as shown by sheets that still exist, which have marks and changes in his own handwriting. There are two complete copies of the first year’s edition of this newspaper in the Imperial Library in St. Petersburg.
The first newspaper established in North America was the Boston News-Letter, commenced April 24, 1704. It was half 373a sheet of paper, twelve inches by eight, two columns on a page. B. Green was the printer. It survived till 1776,—seventy-two years. It advocated the policy of the British Government at the commencement of the Revolution.
The first newspaper in North America was the Boston News-Letter, which started on April 24, 1704. It was half a sheet of paper, twelve by eight inches, with two columns on each page. B. Green was the printer. It lasted until 1776—seventy-two years. It supported the British Government's policies at the start of the Revolution.
From a copy of this paper printed in 1769 is obtained the following announcement:—
From a copy of this paper printed in 1769, we get the following announcement:—
“The bell-cart will go through Boston, before the end of next month, to collect rags for the paper-mill at Milton, when all people that will encourage the paper-manufactory may dispose of their rags:
“The bell-cart will travel through Boston before the end of next month to collect rags for the paper mill in Milton, so anyone who wants to support the paper manufacturing can get rid of their rags:
THE FIRST PRINTING BY STEAM.
The first printing by steam was executed in the year 1817, by Bensley & Son, London. The first book thus printed was Dr. Elliotson’s second edition of Blumenbach’s Physiology.
The first steam printing was done in 1817 by Bensley & Son in London. The first book printed this way was Dr. Elliotson’s second edition of Blumenbach’s Physiology.
THE FIRST TELEGRAPHIC MESSAGE.
Professor Morse, having returned to his native land from Europe, proceeded immediately to Washington, where he renewed his endeavors to procure the passage of the bill granting the appropriation of thirty thousand dollars. Towards the close of the session of 1844, the House of Representatives took it up and passed it by a large majority, and it only remained for the action of the Senate. Its progress through this house, as might be supposed, was watched with the most intense anxiety by Professor Morse. There were only two days before the close of the session, and it was found, on examination of the calendar, that no less than one hundred and forty-three bills had precedence to it. Professor Morse had nearly reached the bottom of his purse; his hard-earned savings were almost spent; 374and, although he had struggled on with undying hope for many years, it is hardly to be wondered at that he felt disheartened now. On the last night of the session he remained till nine o’clock, and then left without the slightest hope that the bill would be passed. He returned to his hotel, counted his money, and found that after paying his expenses to New York he would have seventy-five cents left. That night he went to bed sad, but not without hope for the future; for, through all his difficulties and trials, that never forsook him. The next morning, as he was going to breakfast, one of the waiters informed him that a young lady was in the parlor waiting to see him. He went in immediately, and found that the young lady was Miss Ellsworth, daughter of the Commissioner of Patents, who had been his most steadfast friend while in Washington.
Professor Morse, back in his home country after his time in Europe, went straight to Washington to continue his efforts to get a bill passed for an appropriation of thirty thousand dollars. Near the end of the 1844 session, the House of Representatives took up the bill and passed it with a large majority, leaving only the Senate's approval. As expected, Professor Morse watched its progress through the Senate with intense anxiety. There were only two days left in the session, and upon reviewing the calendar, he found that one hundred and forty-three bills were ahead of his. He was almost out of money; his hard-earned savings were nearly gone, and despite his long-standing hope over the years, it was understandable that he felt disheartened now. On the last night of the session, he stayed until nine o'clock and then left with no hope that the bill would pass. He returned to his hotel, counted his cash, and realized that after paying for his expenses to New York, he would have just seventy-five cents left. That night, he went to bed feeling sad, but still holding onto hope for the future, as that had never left him through all his struggles and challenges. The next morning, as he was heading to breakfast, one of the waiters told him that a young lady was in the parlor waiting to see him. He went in right away and found that the young lady was Miss Ellsworth, the daughter of the Commissioner of Patents, who had been his most loyal friend during his time in Washington.
“I come,” said she, “to congratulate you.”
“I've come,” she said, “to congratulate you.”
“For what?” said Professor Morse.
"For what?" asked Professor Morse.
“On the passage of your bill,” she replied.
“On the passing of your bill,” she replied.
“Oh, no: you must be mistaken,” said he. “I remained in the Senate till a late hour last night, and there was no prospect of its being reached.”
“Oh, no: you must be mistaken,” he said. “I stayed in the Senate until late last night, and there was no chance of it being addressed.”
“Am I the first, then,” she exclaimed, joyfully, “to tell you?”
“Am I the first one, then,” she exclaimed happily, “to tell you?”
“Yes, if it is really so.”
“Yes, if that's really the case.”
“Well,” she continued, “father remained till the adjournment, and heard it passed; and I asked him if I might not run over and tell you.”
“Well,” she continued, “Dad stayed until the meeting ended and heard it was approved; I asked him if I could go over and let you know.”
“Annie,” said the Professor, his emotion almost choking his utterance, “the first message that is sent from Washington to Baltimore shall be sent from you.”
“Annie,” said the Professor, his emotions nearly choking his words, “the first message sent from Washington to Baltimore will be sent by you.”
“Well,” she replied, “I will keep you to your word.”
“Well,” she said, “I’ll hold you to your promise.”
While the line was in process of completion, Prof. Morse was in New York, and upon receiving intelligence that it was in working order, he wrote to those in charge, telling them not to transmit any messages over it till his arrival. He then set out immediately for Washington, and on reaching that city sent a note to Miss Ellsworth, informing her that he was now ready 375to fulfill his promise, and asking her what message he should send.
While the line was being completed, Professor Morse was in New York. When he received the news that it was up and running, he wrote to the people in charge, telling them not to send any messages until he got there. He then headed straight for Washington, and upon arriving, he sent a note to Miss Ellsworth, letting her know that he was ready to keep his promise and asking what message he should send. 375
To this he received the following reply:—
To this, he got the following response:—
Words that ought to be written in characters of living light. The message was twice repeated, and each time with the greatest success. As soon as the result of the experiment was made known, Governor Seymour, of Connecticut, afterwards United States minister at St. Petersburg, called upon Professor Morse and claimed the first message for his State, on the ground that Miss Ellsworth was a native of Hartford. We need scarcely add that his claim was admitted; and now, engraved in letters of gold, it is displayed conspicuously in the archives of the Historical Society of Connecticut.
Words that should be written in bright, living light. The message was repeated twice, and each time it was highly successful. As soon as the results of the experiment were announced, Governor Seymour of Connecticut, who later became the United States minister in St. Petersburg, visited Professor Morse and claimed the first message for his state, arguing that Miss Ellsworth was from Hartford. We hardly need to mention that his claim was accepted; and now, inscribed in gold letters, it is prominently displayed in the archives of the Historical Society of Connecticut.
Nothing New Under the Sun.
FORESHADOWINGS OF THE MAGNETIC TELEGRAPH.
The Prolusiones Academicæ of Famianus Strada, first printed in 1617, consist of a series of essays upon Oratory, Philosophy, and Poetry, with some admirable imitations of sundry Roman authors, in the style of Father Prout’s Reliques. In the imitation of Lucretius, ii. 6, is a description of the loadstone and its power of communicating intelligence, remarkable as foreshadowing the modern method of telegraphic communication. The following is a literal translation of the curious passage:—
The Prolusiones Academicæ of Famianus Strada, first published in 1617, is made up of a collection of essays on Oratory, Philosophy, and Poetry, featuring some impressive imitations of various Roman authors, similar to Father Prout’s Reliques. In the imitation of Lucretius, ii. 6, there's a description of the loadstone and its ability to convey messages, notable for predicting the modern method of telegraphic communication. The following is a direct translation of the intriguing passage:—
376The Loadstone is a wonderful sort of mineral. Any articles made of iron, like needles, if touched by it, derive by contact not only peculiar power, but a certain property of motion by which they turn ever towards the Constellation of the Bear, near the North Pole. By some peculiar correspondency of impulse, any number of needles, which may have touched the loadstone, preserve at all times a precisely corresponding position and motion. Thus it happens that if one needle be moved at Rome, any other, however far apart, is bound by some secret natural condition to follow the same motion.
376The Loadstone is a fascinating mineral. Any iron objects, like needles, that come into contact with it gain not just a unique power but also a special ability to move, which causes them to always point towards the Constellation of the Bear, near the North Pole. Due to some strange connection, any number of needles that have touched the loadstone maintain a perfectly aligned position and movement. So, if one needle is moved in Rome, any other needle, no matter how distant, is somehow compelled by a mysterious natural force to move in the same way.
If you desire, therefore, to communicate intelligence to a distant friend, who cannot be reached by letter, take a plain, round, flat disc, and upon its outer rim mark down the letters of the alphabet, A, B, C, &c., and, traversing upon the middle of your disc, have a needle (which has touched loadstone) so arranged that it may be made to touch upon any particular letter ad libitum. Make a similar disc, the exact duplicate of this first one, with corresponding letters on its margin, and with a revolving magnetized needle. Let the friend you propose corresponding with take, at his departure, one disc along with him, and let him agree with you beforehand on what particular days and at what particular hours he will take observation of the needle, to see if it be vibrating and to learn what it marks on the index. With this arrangement understood between you both, if you wish to hold a private conversation with this friend, whom the shores of some distant land have separated from you, turn your finger to the disc and touch the easy-moving needle. Before you lie, marked upon the outer edge, all the various letters: direct the needle to such letters as are necessary to form the words you want, touching a little letter here and there with the needle’s point, as it goes traversing round and round the board, until you throw together, one by one, your various ideas. Lo! the wonderful fidelity of correspondence! Your distant friend notes the revolving needle vibrate without apparent impulse and fly hither and thither round the rim. He notes its movements, and reading, as he 377follows its motion, the various letters which make up the words, he perceives all that is necessary, and learns your meaning from the interpreting needle. When he sees the needle pause, he, in turn, in like manner touches the various letters, and sends back his answer to his friend. Oh that this style of writing were brought into use, that a friendly message might travel quicker and safer, defying snares of robbers or delaying rivers! Would that the prince himself would finish the great work with his own hands! Then we race of scribblers, emerging from our sea of ink, would lay the quill an offering on the altars of the loadstone.
If you want to send a message to a friend far away who can't be reached by letter, take a simple, flat round disc and mark the letters of the alphabet around its edge: A, B, C, etc. In the center of the disc, set up a needle (that has been magnetized with loadstone) so it can point to any letter you like. Create another disc that's an exact copy of the first one, with matching letters on the edge and a needle that can move. When your friend is about to leave, have them take one of the discs with them, and agree on specific days and times when they will check the needle to see if it's moving and what it indicates. With this plan in place, if you want to have a private conversation with your friend who is separated from you by distant shores, just point to the disc and touch the moving needle. All the letters are marked around the edge; guide the needle to the letters you need to form your messages, touching them as it moves around the disc, until you express all your thoughts one by one. Look at the amazing accuracy of this method! Your friend sees the needle moving on its own, darting around the edge. They observe its movements, and as they follow the letters, they understand everything and grasp your meaning from the needle's guidance. When they see the needle stop, they do the same thing, touching the letters to send their reply back to you. Oh, how I wish this method of writing were more widely used, so that friendly messages could travel faster and safer, avoiding robbers and slow rivers! If only the prince himself would complete this great work with his own hands! Then we, the scribblers, emerging from our sea of ink, would lay down our quills as an offering at the altars of the loadstone.
This idea of Strada is based upon the erroneous impression entertained generally at the time when he wrote, that magnetic power, when imparted by the loadstone to metallic articles like needles, communicated to them a kind of homogeneous impulse, which of necessity caused between them a sympathetic correspondence of motion.
This idea of Strada is based on the mistaken belief commonly held at the time he wrote that magnetic power, when transferred from the loadstone to metal objects like needles, gave them a kind of uniform impulse that inevitably created a sympathetic response in their movement.
The curious reader will be further interested to learn from the following passage, extracted from the “Tour” of Arthur Young, the distinguished agriculturist, who travelled through Ireland in 1775–78, that the theory of electrical correspondence by means of a wire was practically illustrated before Mr. Morse was born:—
The curious reader will be further interested to learn from the following passage, extracted from the “Tour” of Arthur Young, the distinguished agriculturist, who traveled through Ireland in 1775–78, that the theory of electrical correspondence by means of a wire was practically illustrated before Mr. Morse was born:—
In electricity, Mons. Losmond has made a remarkable discovery. You write two or three words on a paper; he takes it with him into a room, and turns a machine enclosed in a cylindrical case, at the top of which is an electrometer, in the shape of a small fine pith ball. A wire connects with a similar cylinder and electrometer in a distant apartment, and his wife, by remarking the corresponding motions of the ball, writes down the words they indicate, from which it appears that he has formed an alphabet of motions. As the length of wire makes no difference in the effect, a correspondence might be carried on at any distance, within and without a besieged town, for instance, or for a purpose much more worthy and a thousand times more 378harmless, between two lovers, prohibited or prevented from any better epistolary intercourse.
In the field of electricity, Mr. Losmond has made an incredible discovery. You write a few words on a piece of paper; he takes it into a room and operates a machine housed in a cylindrical case, topped with an electrometer that looks like a small fine pith ball. A wire connects to another similar cylinder and electrometer in a different room, and his wife, by observing the corresponding movements of the ball, writes down the words they represent, which shows that he has created an alphabet of movements. Since the length of the wire doesn't affect the outcome, communication could occur over any distance, both inside and outside a besieged city, for example, or for a much nobler and a thousand times less harmful purpose, between two lovers who are prevented from exchanging letters more freely.
A second edition of Mr. Young’s Tour was published in quarto in 1794, and the above extract may be found on page 79, volume i.
A second edition of Mr. Young’s Tour was published in quarto in 1794, and the above extract can be found on page 79, volume i.
THE FIRST DISCOVERIES OF STEAM-POWER.
The following extracts from an address by Edward Everett, at an agricultural fair, embody facts the more interesting from their limited notoriety:—
The following excerpts from a speech by Edward Everett, given at an agricultural fair, highlight facts that are even more interesting due to their limited recognition:—
I never contemplate the history of navigation of the ocean by steam, but it seems to illustrate to me in the most striking manner the slow steps by which a great movement advances for generations, for ages, from the first germ,—then, when the hour is come, the rapidity with which it rushes to a final consummation. Providence offered this great problem of navigating the ocean by steam to every civilized nation almost on the globe. As long ago as the year 1543, there was a captain in Spain, who constructed a vessel of two hundred tons, and propelled it, at Barcelona, in the presence of the Emperor Charles V. and his court, by an engine, the construction of which he kept a secret. But old documents tell us it was a monster caldron boiler of water, and that there were two movable wheels on the outside of the vessel. The Emperor was satisfied with its operation, but the treasurer of the kingdom interposed objections to its introduction. The engine itself seems to have sprung to a point of perfection hardly surpassed at the present day, but no encouragement was given to the enterprise. Spain was not ripe for it; the age was not ripe for it; and the poor inventor, whose name was Blasco de Guerere, wearied and disgusted at the want of patronage, took the engine out of the vessel and allowed the ship to rot in the arsenal, and the secret of his machine was buried in his grave.
I never reflect on the history of ocean navigation by steam, but it strikingly shows me the slow progress of a significant movement over generations and ages, from its initial spark. Then, when the moment arrives, it rushes towards a final conclusion with incredible speed. Providence presented this substantial challenge of steam-powered ocean navigation to nearly every civilized nation around the world. As far back as 1543, there was a captain in Spain who built a 200-ton vessel and operated it in Barcelona, in front of Emperor Charles V and his court, using an engine he kept secret. Old records suggest it was a massive boiler and had two moving wheels on the outside of the ship. The Emperor was impressed by its performance, but the kingdom's treasurer raised objections to its introduction. The engine itself seemed to be advanced for its time, almost reaching a level of perfection that remains unmatched today, yet no support was given to the venture. Spain wasn’t ready for it; the time wasn't right; and the poor inventor, named Blasco de Guerere, frustrated and disheartened by the lack of backing, dismantled the engine, let the ship decay in the dock, and the secret of his invention was buried with him.
This was in 1543. A century passed away, and Providence offered the same problem to be solved by France. In reference to this, we have an extraordinary account, and from a source 379equally extraordinary,—from the writings of a celebrated female, in the middle of that century, equally renowned for her beauty, for her immoralities, and for her longevity,—for she lived to be one hundred and thirty-four years of age,—the famous Marian de l’Orme. There is a letter from this lady, written to one of her admirers in 1641, containing an account of a visit she made to a mad-house in Paris in company with the Marquis of Worcester. She goes on to relate, that in company with the marquis, while crossing the courtyard of that dismal establishment, almost petrified with terror, and clinging to her companion, she saw a frightful face through the bars of the building, and heard this voice:—“I am not mad—I am not mad: I have made a discovery which will enrich the kingdom that shall adopt it.” She asked the guide what it meant: he shrugged his shoulders and said, laughingly, “Not much; something about the powers of steam.” Upon this, the lady laughed also, to think that a man should go mad on such a frivolous subject. The guide went on to say that the man’s name was Solomon de Coste; that he came from Normandy four years before, and exhibited to the king an invention by which, by the power of steam, you could move a carriage, navigate the ocean: “in short, if you believed him,” said the guide, “there was nothing you could not do by the power of steam.” Cardinal Richelieu, who at that time was France itself, and who wielded the whole power of government,—and, in truth, an enlightened man, as worldly wisdom goes,—was appealed to by Solomon de Coste. De Coste was a persevering man, and he followed Cardinal Richelieu from place to place, exhibiting his invention, until the cardinal, getting tired of his importunities, sent him to the mad-house. The guide stated further that he had written a book entitled Motive Power, and handed the visitors a copy of it. The Marquis of Worcester, who was an inventor, was much interested in the book, and incorporated a considerable portion of it in his well-known work called The Century of Invention.
This was in 1543. A century went by, and fate presented the same challenge to be addressed by France. In relation to this, we have an extraordinary story, from an equally remarkable source — the writings of a famous woman from the middle of that century, known for her beauty, her scandals, and her long life — she lived to be one hundred and thirty-four years old — the famous Marian de l’Orme. There’s a letter from her, written to one of her admirers in 1641, detailing a visit she made to a mental institution in Paris with the Marquis of Worcester. She goes on to describe that while crossing the courtyard of that grim place, almost frozen with fear and holding tightly to her companion, she saw a terrifying face through the bars of the building and heard this voice: “I am not mad — I am not mad: I have made a discovery that will enrich the kingdom that adopts it.” She asked the guide what it meant; he shrugged and said with a laugh, “Not much; something about the powers of steam.” Hearing this, the lady laughed too, thinking it ridiculous that a man would go mad over such a trivial topic. The guide continued, saying that the man was named Solomon de Coste; he had come from Normandy four years earlier and showed the king an invention that could move a carriage and navigate the ocean using steam power: “in short, if you believed him,” the guide said, “there was nothing you couldn’t do with steam power.” Cardinal Richelieu, who was effectively the embodiment of France at that time and held all governmental power — and, honestly, was an enlightened man, by worldly standards — was approached by Solomon de Coste. De Coste was persistent and followed Cardinal Richelieu around, showcasing his invention until the cardinal, tired of his pestering, sent him to the mental institution. The guide added that he had written a book titled Motive Power, and handed visitors a copy. The Marquis of Worcester, being an inventor himself, was very interested in the book and included a significant portion of it in his well-known work called The Century of Invention.
It will be seen from this anecdote how France proved in 1641, as Spain had proved in 1543, that she was unable to take 380up and wield this mortal thunderbolt. And so the problem of navigating the ocean by steam was reserved for the Anglo-Saxon race. Soon after this period, the best mechanical skill of England was directed towards this invention. Experiments were often made, with no success, and sometimes with only partial success, until the middle of the last century, when the seeds implanted in the minds of ingenious men for two hundred years germinated, and the steam-engine—that scarcely inanimate Titan, that living, burning mechanism—was brought nearly to a state of perfection by James Watt, who took out a patent in 1769,—the great year in which Wellington and Napoleon were born; and ages after the names of Austerlitz and Waterloo shall perish from the memory of man, the myriad hosts of intelligent labor, marshalled by the fiery champions that James Watt has placed in the field, shall gain their bloodless triumph, not for the destruction but for the service of mankind. All hail, then, to the mute, indefatigable giant, in the depths of the darksome mines, along the pathway of travel and trade, and on the mountain wave, that is destined to drag, urge, heave, haul, for the service of man! No fatigue shall palsy its herculean arm, no trampled hosts shall writhe beneath its iron feet, no widow’s heart shall bleed at its beneficent victories. England invented the steam-engine; but it seems as if by the will of Providence she could not go farther. Queen of the seas, as she deemed herself, she could not apply the invention she had brought almost to perfection, and that part of the great problem, the navigation of the ocean by steam, was reserved for the other branch of the Anglo-Saxon race,—the branch situated in a region in this Western hemisphere whose territory is traversed by some of the noblest rivers that belt the surface of the globe, and separated by the world-wide ocean from the Eastern hemisphere. It is amazing to consider how, with the dawn of the Revolution, the thoughts of men turned to the application of steam-navigation. Rumsey, Fitch, and Evans made experiments, and those experiments attracted the notice of one whom nothing escaped pertaining to the welfare of his country: I 381mean Washington. And we have a certificate from him, expressing the satisfaction with which he had witnessed the experiment of Rumsey. The attempt proved rather unsuccessful. I think it a providential appointment that the ocean was not navigated by steam in the Revolutionary age. The enormous preponderance of British capital and skill, if the ocean had been navigated by steam, would have put in her possession facilities for blockading our ports and transporting armies to our coasts, which might have had a disastrous effect on the result of the whole contest. But the Revolution passed and independence was established: the hour had come, and the man was there.
It can be seen from this story that France, in 1641, proved she was as incapable as Spain had been in 1543 of using this powerful invention. Thus, the challenge of steam-powered ocean navigation was left to the Anglo-Saxon people. Shortly after this time, England's top engineers focused on this invention. They often conducted experiments, which were mostly unsuccessful, with only a few partial successes until the mid-19th century. At that point, the ideas that had been developing in the minds of inventive individuals for 200 years came to fruition, and the steam engine—that almost lifeless giant, that fiery mechanism—was brought close to perfection by James Watt, who received a patent in 1769—the same year that both Wellington and Napoleon were born. Long after the names Austerlitz and Waterloo fade from human memory, the countless intelligent workers, inspired by the powerful machines that James Watt introduced, will achieve their victories, not for destruction but for the benefit of humanity. So, let us celebrate this silent, tireless giant that works in dark mines, along trade routes, and on the ocean waves, destined to pull, push, lift, and carry for the service of mankind! No tiredness will weaken its mighty arm, no crushed armies will suffer beneath its iron feet, no widow will mourn from its beneficial triumphs. England invented the steam engine, but it seems that, by the will of Providence, she couldn't go any further. Though she considered herself the queen of the seas, she could not utilize the invention she had nearly perfected, and that part of the great challenge—ocean navigation by steam—was left to the other branch of the Anglo-Saxon people located in this Western hemisphere, whose land is blessed with some of the world's greatest rivers, separated by the vast ocean from the Eastern hemisphere. It's remarkable to think that as the Revolution approached, people's ideas turned to steam navigation. Rumsey, Fitch, and Evans conducted experiments, which caught the attention of someone deeply concerned about his country's welfare: George Washington. We have evidence of his satisfaction while watching Rumsey's experiment. Unfortunately, the attempt did not succeed. I believe it was a fortunate turn of events that steam navigation did not occur during the Revolutionary period. The significant advantages in British resources and expertise, had steam navigation been established, could have allowed for blockading our ports and deploying armies to our shores, potentially affecting the outcome of the entire war. However, the Revolution concluded, and our independence was secured: the moment had arrived, and the right person was present.
In the year 1799 this system of steam-navigation became matured in the mind of Fulton, who found a liberal and active coadjutor in Chancellor Livingston, who, in the same year, applied to the Legislature of New York for an act of incorporation. I am sorry to say that America at that moment could not boast of much keener perception of the nature of this discovery than France or Spain had done before. Chancellor Livingston at last had a petition drawn up of the act he desired passed. It was drafted by the young men of the Legislature, who, when tired of the graver matters of law, used to call up the “steam bill” that they might have a little fun. Young America, on that occasion, did not show himself much wiser than his senior. Nothing daunted at the coldness he received, nothing discouraged by the partial success of the first experiment, Chancellor Livingston persevered. Twenty years elapsed before steamers were found upon our lakes and rivers, and at that time such a system of steam-navigation was wholly unknown, except by hearsay, in Europe. This application of steam soon became a pressing necessity in this country, but twenty years more passed away before it was adopted in England. I could not but think, when the news of the Atlantic Telegraph came, what must have been the emotions of Fulton and Franklin could they have stood upon the quarter-deck of the Niagara and witnessed the successful termination of that electric communication which is the result of their united discoveries!
In 1799, the idea of steam navigation fully developed in Fulton's mind, who found a supportive partner in Chancellor Livingston. That same year, he approached the New York Legislature for an incorporation act. Unfortunately, America at that time didn’t have a much clearer understanding of this discovery than France or Spain had previously. Chancellor Livingston eventually got a petition prepared for the act he wanted. It was drawn up by the young members of the Legislature who, when tired of the heavier legal matters, would pull up the "steam bill" for a bit of fun. Young America didn’t prove to be much wiser than the older generation on that occasion. Undeterred by the lukewarm reception he got and not discouraged by the partial success of the first experiment, Chancellor Livingston kept going. It took twenty years before steamers appeared on our lakes and rivers, and at that time, the concept of steam navigation was still completely unknown in Europe apart from rumors. This use of steam quickly became essential in this country, but another twenty years passed before it was embraced in England. I couldn't help but think that when the news of the Atlantic Telegraph arrived, what emotions Fulton and Franklin would have felt had they been able to stand on the quarter-deck of the Niagara and witness the successful completion of that electric communication, which stemmed from their combined discoveries!
ÆRIAL NAVIGATION.
When air-balloons were first discovered, some one flippantly asked Dr. Franklin what was the use of it. The philosopher answered the question by asking another:—“What is the use of a new-born infant? It may become a man.”
When hot air balloons were first invented, someone jokingly asked Dr. Franklin what their purpose was. The philosopher responded by asking another question: “What’s the purpose of a newborn baby? It can grow up to be a man.”
The first balloon-ascension was made by Pilatre de Rozier and the Marquis d’Arlandes, November 21, 1783, in a montgolfière.
The first balloon ascent was made by Pilatre de Rozier and the Marquis d’Arlandes on November 21, 1783, in a hot air balloon.
A century and a half before this, John Gregorie wrote, “The air itself is not so unlike to water, but that it may be demonstrated to be navigable, and that a ship may sail upon the convexity thereof by the same reasons that it is carried upon the ocean.”
A hundred and fifty years before this, John Gregorie wrote, “The air is not so different from water that it can't be shown to be navigable, and that a ship can sail on its surface for the same reasons it can travel on the ocean.”
In the first number of the Philosophical Collections, 1679, is “a demonstration how it is practically possible to make a ship, which shall be sustained by the air, and may be moved either by sails or oars,” from a work entitled Prodroma, published in Italian by P. Francesco Lana. The scheme was that of making a brazen vessel which should weigh less than the air it contained, and consequently float in the air when that which was within it was pumped out. He calculated every thing—except the pressure of the atmosphere, in consequence of which slight oversight he realized no practical result.
In the first issue of the Philosophical Collections, 1679, there is “a demonstration of how it is actually possible to create a ship that can be held up by air and can be powered by either sails or oars,” from a work called Prodroma, published in Italian by P. Francesco Lana. The idea was to make a brass vessel that would weigh less than the air it contained, allowing it to float in the air when the air inside was pumped out. He calculated everything—except for the atmospheric pressure, which led to a slight oversight that prevented him from achieving any practical results.
THE CIRCULATION OF THE BLOOD.
Harvey discovered the circulation of the blood in 1619; but we learn from a passage in Longinus (ch. xxii.) that the fact was known two thousand years before. The father of critics, to exemplify and illustrate the use and value of trope in writing, has garbled from the Timæus of Plato a number of sentences descriptive of the anatomy of the human body, where the circulation of the blood is pointed at in terms singularly graphic. The exact extent of professional knowledge attained in the time of the great philosopher is by no means clearly defined. He speaks of the fact, however, not with a view to prove what was contested or chimerical, but avails himself of it to figure 383the surpassing wisdom of the gods in constructing the human frame.
Harvey discovered blood circulation in 1619, but a passage from Longinus (ch. xxii.) reveals that this fact was known two thousand years earlier. The father of critics, to demonstrate the use and value of cliché in writing, has taken sentences from Plato's Timæus that describe the anatomy of the human body, where the circulation of blood is mentioned in particularly vivid terms. The exact level of professional knowledge during the time of the great philosopher isn't clearly defined. However, he discusses this fact not to argue against or disprove anything, but rather to showcase the incredible wisdom of the gods in creating the human body.
ANÆSTHESIA.
The use of the vapor of sulphuric ether for the purpose of inducing insensibility to surgical operations was first practically adopted by Dr. Morton, of Boston, in 1846; that of chloroform, by Dr. Simpson, of Edinburgh, in 1847. To this period we must assign the most important epoch in the annals of surgery, and the date of one of the grandest discoveries of science and one of the greatest blessings ever conferred upon humanity.
The use of sulfuric ether vapor to make people insensible during surgeries was first practically adopted by Dr. Morton from Boston in 1846; chloroform was introduced by Dr. Simpson from Edinburgh in 1847. This was a pivotal moment in the history of surgery, marking one of the greatest discoveries in science and one of the biggest blessings ever given to humanity.
The idea, however, of saving the human body, by artificial means, from the pains and tortures inflicted by the knife of the surgeon, has been by no means either first broached or first acted upon in recent times. Intense pain is regarded by mankind generally as so serious an evil that it would have been strange indeed if efforts had not been early made to diminish this species of suffering. The use of the juice of the poppy, henbane, mandragora, and other narcotic preparations, to effect this object by their deadening influence, may be traced back till it disappears in the darkness of a remote antiquity.
The idea of using artificial means to save the human body from the pain and suffering caused by surgical procedures isn’t new and has actually been considered and practiced for a long time. People generally see intense pain as a serious issue, so it would be odd if attempts hadn’t been made early on to reduce this kind of suffering. The use of substances like poppy juice, henbane, mandrake, and other narcotic preparations to achieve this effect through their numbing properties can be traced back to a distant past.
Intoxicating vapors were also employed, by way of inhalation, to produce the same effects as drugs of this nature introduced into the stomach. This appears from the account given by Herodotus of the practice of the Scythians, several centuries before Christ, of using the vapor of hemp-seed as a means of drunkenness. The known means of stupefaction were very early resorted to in order to counteract pain produced by artificial causes. In executions under the horrible form of crucifixion, soporific mixtures were administered to alleviate the pangs of the victim. The draught of vinegar and gall, or myrrh, offered to the Saviour in his agony, was the ordinary tribute of human sympathy extorted from the bystander by the spectacle of intolerable anguish.
Intoxicating vapors were also used, through inhalation, to create effects similar to those of drugs taken orally. This is evident from Herodotus's account of the Scythians, who lived several centuries before Christ and used hemp-seed vapor to get high. Early on, people turned to known methods of numbing pain caused by artificial means. During executions, especially brutal ones like crucifixion, sedative mixtures were given to ease the suffering of victims. The drink of vinegar and gall, or myrrh, offered to the Savior in his agony, was a common gesture of human compassion elicited from onlookers by the sight of unbearable pain.
That some lethean anodyne might be found to assuage the torment of surgical operations as they were anciently performed, 384[cauterizing the cut surfaces, instead of tying the arteries,] was not only a favorite notion, but it had been in some degree, however imperfect, reduced to practice. Pliny the Naturalist, who perished in the eruption of Vesuvius which entombed the city of Herculaneum in the year 79, bears distinct and decided testimony to this fact.
That some pain-relieving treatment might be discovered to ease the suffering of surgical procedures as they were done in ancient times, 384[by cauterizing the cut surfaces instead of tying the arteries], was not only a popular idea, but it had been partially, albeit imperfectly, put into practice. Pliny the Naturalist, who died in the eruption of Vesuvius that buried the city of Herculaneum in 79, clearly attests to this fact.
In his description of the plant known as the mandragora or circeius, he says, “It has a soporific power on the faculties of those who drink it. The ordinary potion is half a cup. It is drunk against serpents, and before cuttings and puncturings, lest they should be felt.” (Bibitur et contra serpentes, et ante sectiones, punctionesque, ne sentiantur.)
In his description of the plant called mandragora or circeius, he says, “It has a sedative effect on those who drink it. The typical dose is half a cup. It's consumed to ward off snakes and before cuts and punctures, so they won't be felt.” (It is also drunk against snakes, and before cuts and punctures, so they don't feel it.)
When he comes to speak of the plant eruca, called by us the rocket, he informs us that its seeds, when drunk, infused in wine, by criminals about to undergo the lash, produce a certain callousness or induration of feeling (duaitiam, quandam contra sensum induere).
When he talks about the plant arugula, which we call rocket, he tells us that its seeds, when soaked in wine and consumed by criminals facing punishment by flogging, create a kind of numbness or insensitivity to pain (duaitiam, sometimes against one's sense).
Pliny also asserts that the stone Memphitis, powdered and applied in a liniment with vinegar, will stupefy parts to be cut or cauterized, “for it so paralyzes the part that it feels no pain” (nec sentit cruciatum).
Pliny also claims that the stone Memphitis, when powdered and mixed with vinegar, can numb areas that need to be cut or burned, “because it paralyzes the area so that it feels no pain” (not feeling pain).
Dioscorides, a Greek physician of Cilicia, in Asia, who was born about the time of Pliny’s death, and who wrote an extensive work on the materia medica, observes, in his chapter on mandragora,—
Dioscorides, a Greek doctor from Cilicia in Asia, who was born around the time of Pliny’s death and wrote a comprehensive book on medicinal substances, notes in his chapter on mandragora,—
1. “Some boil down the roots in wine to a third part, and preserve the juice thus procured, and give one cyathus of it in sleeplessness and severe pains, of whatever part; also to cause the insensibility—to produce the anæsthesia ποιειν αναισθησιαν—of those who are to be cut or cauterized.”
1. “Some reduce the roots in wine to a third, preserve the juice obtained, and give one cyathus of it for sleeplessness and severe pains, no matter where it is; also to cause numbness—to produce the anæsthesia make anesthesia—for those who are about to be cut or cauterized.”
2. “There is prepared, also, besides the decoction, a wine from the bark of the root, three minæ being thrown into a cask of sweet wine, and of this three cyathi are given to those who are to be cut or cauterized, as aforesaid; for, being thrown into a deep sleep, they do not perceive pain.”
2. “In addition to the decoction, a wine is also made from the bark of the root, with three minæ added to a cask of sweet wine, and three cyathi of this are given to those who are about to be cut or cauterized, as mentioned earlier; because, when given, they are put into a deep sleep and do not feel any pain.”
3. Speaking of another variety of mandragora, called morion, 385he observes, “Medical men use it also for those who are to be cut or cauterized.”
3. Speaking of another type of mandragora, called helmet, 385he notes, “Doctors also use it for those who are going to be cut or cauterized.”
Dioscorides also describes the stone Memphitis, mentioned by Pliny, and says that when it is powdered and applied to parts to be cut or cauterized, they are rendered, without the slightest danger, wholly insensible to pain. Matthiolus, the commentator on Dioscorides, confirms his statement of the virtues of mandragora, which is repeated by Dodoneus. “Wine in which the roots of mandragora have been steeped,” says this latter writer, “brings on sleep, and appeases all pains, so that it is given to those who are to be cut, sawed, or burned in any parts of their body, that they may not perceive pain.”
Dioscorides also talks about the stone Memphitis, which Pliny mentioned, and says that when it is ground into powder and applied to areas that need cutting or cauterizing, they become, without the slightest danger, completely numb to pain. Matthiolus, who comments on Dioscorides, backs up his claims about the benefits of mandragora, a point that Dodoneus reiterates. “Wine infused with the roots of mandragora,” the latter writer says, “induces sleep and alleviates all pain, so it's given to those who are about to be cut, sawed, or burned in any part of their body, so they don't feel any pain.”
The expressions used by Apuleius of Madaura, who flourished about a century after Pliny, are still more remarkable than those already quoted from the older authors. He says, when treating of mandragora, “If any one is to have a member mutilated, burned, or sawed, [mutilandum, comburendum, vel serrandum,] let him drink half an ounce with wine, and let him sleep till the member is cut away without any pain or sensation [et tantum dormiet, quosque abscindatur membrum aliquo sine dolore et sensu].”
The expressions used by Apuleius of Madaura, who lived about a century after Pliny, are even more striking than those previously mentioned from the older authors. He states, when discussing mandragora, “If someone needs to have a limb amputated, burned, or sawed off, [mutilating, burning, or sawing], they should drink half an ounce with wine, and they will sleep until the limb is removed without any pain or sensation [And he will only sleep until a limb is cut off without pain and sensation.].”
It was not in Europe and in Western Asia alone that these early efforts to discover some lethean were made, and attended with partial success. On the opposite side of the continent, the Chinese—who have anticipated the Europeans in so many important inventions, as in gunpowder, the mariner’s compass, printing, lithography, paper money, and the use of coal—seem to have been quite as far in advance of the Occidental world in medical science. They understood, ages before they were introduced into Christendom, the use of substances containing iodine for the cure of the goitre, and employed spurred rye (ergot) to shorten dangerously-prolonged labor in difficult accouchements. Among the therapeutic methods confirmed by the experience of thousands of years, the records of which they have preserved with religious veneration, the employment of an anæsthetic agent to paralyze the nervous sensibility before performing 386surgical operations, is distinctly set forth. Among a considerable number of Chinese works on the pharmacopœia, medicine, and surgery, in the National Library at Paris, is one entitled Kou-kin-i-tong, or general collection of ancient and modern medicine, in fifty volumes quarto. Several hundred biographical notices of the most distinguished physicians in China are prefixed to this work. The following curious passages occur in the sketches of the biography of Hoa-tho, who flourished under the dynasty of Wei, between the years 220 and 230 of our era. “When he determined that it was necessary to employ acupuncture, he employed it in two or three places; and so with the moxa if that was indicated by the nature of the affection to be treated. But if the disease resided in parts upon which the needle, moxa, or liquid medicaments could not operate,—for example in the bones, or the marrow of the bones, in the stomach or the intestines,—he gave the patient a preparation of hemp, (in the Chinese language mayo,) and after a few moments he became as insensible as if he had been drunk or dead. Then, as the case required, he performed operations, incisions, or amputations, and removed the cause of the malady; then he brought together and secured the tissues, and applied liniments. After a certain number of days, the patient recovered, without having experienced the slightest pain during the operation.”
It wasn’t just in Europe and Western Asia that these early attempts to find some life-giving substance were made with partial success. On the opposite side of the continent, the Chinese—who have outpaced Europeans in many key inventions like gunpowder, the mariner’s compass, printing, lithography, paper money, and coal—also seemed to be ahead of the Western world in medical science. They understood, long before these concepts reached Christendom, the use of iodine-containing substances for treating goiter and used spurred rye (ergot) to shorten dangerously prolonged labor during difficult childbirths. Among the therapeutic methods validated by thousands of years of experience, which they have meticulously preserved, is the use of an anesthetic to numb sensitivity before surgical operations. In the National Library in Paris, there is a significant collection of Chinese works on pharmacopoeia, medicine, and surgery, including one titled Kou-kin-i-tong, or general collection of ancient and modern medicine, in fifty volumes. This work opens with several hundred biographical sketches of the most famous physicians in China. A few intriguing passages highlight the biography of Hoa-tho, who practiced during the Wei dynasty, around the years 220 to 230 AD. “When he decided that acupuncture was necessary, he would use it in two or three spots; and similarly with moxa when appropriate for the ailment being treated. However, if the disease was in areas where the needle, moxa, or medicinal liquids couldn’t reach—like in the bones, the bone marrow, the stomach, or the intestines—he gave the patient a hemp preparation (known as mayo in Chinese), and within moments, they became as insensible as if they were drunk or dead. Then, depending on the situation, he would carry out operations, incisions, or amputations, addressing the root of the problem; afterward, he would stitch the tissues together and apply ointments. After a certain number of days, the patient recovered, without having felt any pain during the operation.”
Almost a thousand years after the date of the unmistakable phrases quoted from Apuleius, according to the testimony of William of Tyre, and other chroniclers of the wars for the rescue of the holy sepulchre, and the fascinating narrative of Marco Polo, a state of anæsthesia was induced for very different purposes. It became an instrument in the hands of bold and crafty impostors to perpetuate and extend the most terrible fanaticism that the world has ever seen.
Almost a thousand years after the clear phrases quoted from Apuleius, as noted by William of Tyre and other chroniclers of the wars to recover the holy sepulchre, along with the captivating stories of Marco Polo, a state of numbness was created for completely different reasons. It turned into a tool for daring and cunning frauds to maintain and spread the most horrific fanaticism the world has ever experienced.
The employment of anæsthetic agents in surgical operations was not forgotten or abandoned during the period when they were pressed into the appalling service just described. In the thirteenth century, anæsthesia was produced by inhalation of 387an anodyne vapor, in a mode oddly forestalling the practices of the present day, which is described as follows in the surgical treatise of Theodoric, who died in 1298. It is the receipt for the “spongia somnifera,” as it is called in the rubric:—
The use of anesthetic agents in surgery wasn't forgotten or abandoned during the time they were misused in horrific ways, as previously mentioned. In the thirteenth century, anesthesia was achieved by inhaling a soothing vapor, in a method strangely similar to today’s practices. This is outlined in the surgical treatise of Theodoric, who died in 1298. Below is the recipe for the “spongia somnifera,” as indicated in the heading:—
“The preparation of a scent for performing surgical operations, according to Master Hugo. It is made thus:—Take of opium and the juice of unripe mulberry, of hyoscyamus, of the juice of the hemlock, of the juice of the leaves of the mandragora, of the juice of the woody ivy, of the juice of the forest mulberry, of the seeds of lettuce, of the seed of the burdock, which has large and round apples, and of the water-hemlock, each one ounce; mix the whole of these together in a brazen vessel, and then place a new sponge in it, and let the whole boil, and as long as the sun on the dog-days, till it (the sponge) consumes it all, and let it be boiled away in it. As often as there is need of it, place this same sponge in warm water for one hour, and let it be applied to the nostrils till he who is to be operated on (qui incidentus est) has fallen asleep; and in this state let the operation be performed (et sic fiat chirurgia). When this is finished, in order to rouse him, place another, dipped in vinegar, frequently to his nose, or let the juice of the roots of fenigreek be squirted into his nostrils. Presently he awakens.”
“The preparation of a scent for performing surgical operations, according to Master Hugo. It is made like this: Take one ounce each of opium, juice of unripe mulberry, hyoscyamus, hemlock juice, mandragora leaf juice, woody ivy juice, forest mulberry juice, lettuce seeds, burdock seeds (which have large and round apples), and water-hemlock; mix all of these together in a brass vessel, then place a new sponge in it. Let everything boil for as long as the sun shines during the dog days, until the sponge absorbs it all, and let it completely boil down. Whenever it's needed, soak this sponge in warm water for one hour, then apply it to the patient's nostrils until the person who is about to be operated on (who has fallen) falls asleep; the operation should be performed in this state (and so let it be surgery). Once it's finished, to wake him up, frequently hold another sponge dipped in vinegar to his nose, or squirt juice from fenugreek roots into his nostrils. He will wake up soon.”
Subsequent to Theodoric’s time, we find many interesting and suggestive observations in the writings of Baptista Porta, Chamappe, Meissner, Dauriol, Haller, and Blandin. About half a century ago, Sir Humphry Davy thus hinted at the possibility that a pain subduing gas might be inhaled:—“As nitrous oxide, in its extensive operation, appears capable of destroying physical pain, it may probably be used with advantage during surgical operations in which no great effusion of blood takes place.” Baron Larrey, Napoleon’s surgeon, after the battle of Eylau, found a remarkable insensibility in the wounded who suffered amputations, owing to the intense cold. This fact afterwards led to the application of ice as a local anæsthetic.
After Theodoric’s time, we find many interesting and thought-provoking observations in the writings of Baptista Porta, Chamappe, Meissner, Dauriol, Haller, and Blandin. About fifty years ago, Sir Humphry Davy hinted at the possibility that a pain-relieving gas could be inhaled:—“As nitrous oxide, in its extensive operation, seems capable of eliminating physical pain, it might be used beneficially during surgical operations where there isn't a lot of blood loss.” Baron Larrey, Napoleon’s surgeon, discovered a remarkable insensitivity in the wounded who underwent amputations after the battle of Eylau, due to the extreme cold. This observation later led to the use of ice as a local anesthetic.
388The former general belief that a degree of anæsthetic and prolonged sleep could be induced artificially by certain medicated potions and preparations is also shown by the frequency with which the idea is alluded to by the older poets and storytellers, and made part of the machinery in the popular romance and drama. In the history of Taliesin, (one of the antique Welsh tales contained in the Mabinogion,) Rhun is described as having put the maid of the wife of Elphin into a deep sleep with a powder put into her drink, and as having cut off one of her fingers when she was in this case of artificial anæsthesia. Shakspeare, besides alluding more than once to the soporific property of mandragora, describes with graphic power in Romeo and Juliet, and in Cymbeline, the imagined effects of subtle distilled potions supposed capable of inducing, without danger, a prolonged state of death-like sleep or lethargy. And Thomas Middleton, in his tragedy of Women beware Women, published in 1657, pointedly and directly alludes in the following lines, to the practice of anæsthesia in ancient surgery:—
388The old belief that a degree of anesthesia and deep sleep could be artificially induced by certain medicinal drinks and preparations is highlighted by how often this concept is mentioned by earlier poets and storytellers, becoming part of the themes in popular romance and drama. In the tale of Taliesin, found in the Mabinogion, Rhun is described as having given the maid of Elphin's wife a deep sleep with a powder added to her drink, and he even cut off one of her fingers while she was in this state of induced anesthesia. Shakespeare, besides referencing the sleep-inducing properties of mandrake multiple times, vividly illustrates in Romeo and Juliet and Cymbeline the imagined effects of delicate distilled potions that supposedly could safely induce a long, death-like slumber or lethargy. Additionally, Thomas Middleton, in his tragedy Women Beware Women, published in 1657, explicitly refers to the practice of anesthesia in ancient surgery in the following lines:—
The following curious lines from Du Bartas, translated by Joshua Sylvester (?) are also well worth transcribing in this connection.
The following intriguing lines from Du Bartas, translated by Joshua Sylvester (?) are definitely worth including in this context.
Du Bartas died about the year 1590:—
Du Bartas died circa 1590:—
The history of anæsthetics is a remarkable illustration of the acknowledged fact that science has sometimes, for a long season, altogether lost sight of great practical thoughts, from being unprovided with proper means and instruments for carrying out those thoughts into practical execution; and hence it ever and anon occurs that a supposed modern discovery is only the rediscovery of a principle already sufficiently known to other ages, or to remote nations.
The history of anesthetics is a striking example of the fact that science has, at times, completely overlooked significant practical ideas due to a lack of the right tools and equipment to put those ideas into action. As a result, it often happens that a so-called modern breakthrough is really just the rediscovery of a principle that was already well understood by earlier generations or distant cultures.
THE BOOMERANG.
The following paragraph in Pliny’s Natural History, xxiv. 72, apparently refers to the Boomerang, with which, according to recent discoveries, the early people of the East were acquainted. See Bonomi’s Nineveh, p. 136. Pliny, speaking of the account given by Pythagoras of the Aquifolia, either the holm-oak or the holly, says:—
The following paragraph in Pliny’s Natural History, xxiv. 72, apparently refers to the boomerang, which, according to recent discoveries, the early people of the East were familiar with. See Bonomi’s Nineveh, p. 136. Pliny, discussing the account given by Pythagoras of the Holly, either the holm oak or the holly, says:—
Baculum ex eâ factum, in quodvis animal emissum, etiamsi citra ceciderit defectu mittentis, ipsum per sese cubitu proprius adlabi; tam præcipuam naturam inesse arbori.
The baculum made from it, when thrown by any animal, will still slide closer to the elbow by itself, even if it falls short due to the thrower’s shortcomings; this is a significant characteristic inherent in the tree.
(If a staff made of this wood, when thrown at any animal, from want of strength in the party throwing it, happens to fall short of the mark, it will fall back again towards the thrower of its own accord—so remarkable are the properties of this tree.)
(If a staff made from this wood is thrown at any animal but falls short due to the thrower's lack of strength, it will automatically return to the thrower—such are the remarkable properties of this tree.)
The readings of the passage vary, cubitu being given in some MSS. for recubitu. Pythagoras probably heard of the baculum during his travels eastward, and being unable to understand how its formation could endow it with the singular property referred to, was induced to believe that this peculiarity was owing to the nature of the tree.
The interpretations of the passage differ, with cubitu found in some manuscripts instead of recumbent. Pythagoras likely learned about the baculum during his travels east and, not being able to grasp how its structure could give it the unique property mentioned, came to believe that this characteristic was due to the tree's nature.
THE ATTRACTION OF GRAVITATION.
Both Dante and Shakspeare preceded Newton in knowledge of the principle, if not the law, of gravitation. In their anticipation of its discovery, the poets may not have deemed it other than a philosophic or poetic speculation. But the following passages attest earlier observations of a physical law than those of Pascal or Newton.
Both Dante and Shakespeare had knowledge of the principle, if not the law, of gravitation before Newton. They may have seen their anticipation of its discovery as nothing more than a philosophical or poetic idea. However, the following passages show earlier observations of a physical law than those made by Pascal or Newton.
Shakspeare says in Troilus and Cressida:—
Shakespeare says in Troilus and Cressida:—
and
and
Three centuries before Shakspeare, Dante said in the Inferno:—
Three centuries before Shakespeare, Dante said in the Inferno:—
EARLY INVENTION OF RIFLING.
In Sir Hugh Plat’s Jewel-House of Art and Nature, 1653, (1st edition 1594) the 17th article runs thus:—
In Sir Hugh Plat’s Jewel-House of Art and Nature, 1653, (1st edition 1594) the 17th article states:—
How to make a Pistol, whose Barrel is 2 Foot in Length, to deliver a Bullet point blank at Eightscore.
How to make a pistol with a 2-foot barrel that shoots a bullet straight on target at 160 yards.
A pistol of the aforesaid length, and being of the petronel bore, or a bore higher, having eight gutters somewhat deep in the inside of the barrel, and the bullet a thought bigger than the bore, and so rammed in at the first three or four inches at the least, and after driven down with the scouring stick, will deliver his bullet at such distance. This I had of an English gentleman of good note for an approved experiment.
A pistol of that length, with a petronel bore or a larger one, having eight somewhat deep grooves on the inside of the barrel, and a bullet slightly larger than the bore, which is rammed in for at least the first three or four inches and then pushed down with a cleaning rod, will fire its bullet at that distance. I got this from a well-respected English gentleman as a proven experiment.
TABLE-MOVING AND ALPHABET-RAPPING IN THE FOURTH CENTURY.
The following remarkable narration is the confession of a conspirator named Hilarius, who was accused of resorting to unlawful arts for the purpose of discovering who should be the successor to the Roman Emperor Valens, who died A.D. 378. We are told by Ammianus Marcellinus, a contemporary historian, that, while under torture, he thus addressed his judges:—
The following remarkable account is the confession of a conspirator named Hilarius, who was accused of using illegal methods to find out who would be the successor to the Roman Emperor Valens, who died A.D. 378. According to Ammianus Marcellinus, a historian from that time, Hilarius, while being tortured, spoke to his judges like this:—
With direful rites, O august judges, we prepared this unfortunate little table, which you see, of laurel branches, in imitation of the Delphic cortina, (or tripod,) and when it had been duly consecrated by imprecation of secret charms and many long and choric ceremonies, we at length moved it. The method of moving it, when it was consulted on secret matters, was as follows: It was placed in the midst of a house purified with Arabian odors; upon it was placed a round dish, made of various metallic substances, which had the twenty-four letters of the alphabet curiously engraved round the rim, at accurately-measured distances from each other. One clothed with linen garments, carrying branches of a sacred tree, and having, by charms framed for the purpose, propitiated the deity who is the giver of prescience, places other lesser cortinæ on this larger one, with ceremonial skill. He holds over them a ring which has been subjected to some mysterious preparation, and which is suspended by a very fine Carpathian thread. This ring, passing over the intervals, and falling on one letter after the other, spells out heroic verses pertinent to the questions asked. We then thus inquired who should succeed to the government of the empire. The leaping ring had indicated two syllables, (The-od;) and on the addition of the last letter one of the persons present cried out, “Theodorus.”
With serious rituals, O revered judges, we set up this unfortunate little table, made of laurel branches, to mimic the Delphic cortina (or tripod). After it was properly consecrated with incantations of secret charms and many lengthy ceremonial processes, we finally moved it. The way we moved it when consulting about secret matters was as follows: It was placed in the center of a house purified with Arabian scents; on top of it was a round dish made of various metals, engraved around the rim with the twenty-four letters of the alphabet, spaced out evenly. Someone dressed in linen, carrying branches from a sacred tree, and having used specific charms to appease the deity of foresight, places smaller curtains on this larger one with ceremonial precision. He holds over them a ring that has undergone some mysterious preparation, which is hung by a very fine Carpathian thread. This ring moves over the spaces, landing on one letter after another, spelling out heroic verses related to the questions asked. We then inquired who would succeed to the leadership of the empire. The jumping ring indicated two syllables, (The Odd); and as we added the last letter, one of the people present shouted, “Theodorus.”
Theodorus, and many others, were executed for their share in this dark transaction, (see Gibbon;) but Theodosius the Great finally succeeded to the empire, and was, of course, supposed to be the person indicated by the magic rites. The above literal translation is given by the learned Dr. Maitland 392in a little book, lately published, Essay on False Worship, London, 1856. The original was hardly intelligible, till light had been thrown on it by recent practices, of which we have all heard so much. The coincidence is, to say the least, extraordinary, and opens views which are briefly considered in the above-mentioned work.
Theodorus and many others were executed for their role in this dark event (see Gibbon); however, Theodosius the Great ultimately took over the empire and was, of course, believed to be the person referenced in the magical ceremonies. This exact translation is provided by the knowledgeable Dr. Maitland in a recently published book, Essay on False Worship, London, 1856. The original text was barely understandable until recent practices shed light on it, which we have all heard a lot about. The coincidence is, to say the least, remarkable and presents perspectives that are briefly discussed in the aforementioned work. 392
AUSCULTATION AND PERCUSSION.
Laennec invented the stethoscope and perfected his discoveries in the physical diagnosis of the diseases of the heart and lungs, in 1816.
Laennec invented the stethoscope and refined his findings in the physical diagnosis of heart and lung diseases in 1816.
Avenbrugger published his work on Percussion in 1761.
Avenbrugger published his work on percussion in 1761.
One hundred and fifty years before Laennec’s suddenly conceived act of applying a roll of paper to the breast of a female patient gave birth to thoracic acoustics, that ingenious and philosophic man, Robert Hooke, said in his writings:—
One hundred and fifty years before Laennec suddenly came up with the idea of applying a roll of paper to the chest of a female patient, which led to the development of thoracic acoustics, the brilliant and thoughtful Robert Hooke stated in his writings:—
“There may be a possibility of discovering the internal motions and actions of bodies by the sound they make. Who knows, but that as in a watch we may hear the beating of the balance, and the running of the wheels, and the striking of the hammers, and the grating of the teeth, and a multitude of other noises,—who knows, I say, but that it may be possible to discover the motions of internal parts of bodies, whether animal, vegetable, or mineral, by the sounds they make?—that one may discover the works performed in the several offices and shops of a man’s body, and thereby discover what engine is out of order, what works are going on at several times and lie still at others, and the like? I have this encouragement not to think all these things impossible, though never so much derided by the generality of men, and never so seemingly mad, foolish, and fantastic, that as the thinking them impossible cannot much improve my knowledge, so the believing them possible may perhaps be an occasion for taking notice of such things as another would pass by without regard as useless, and somewhat more of encouragement I have from experience that I have been able to hear very plainly the beating of a man’s 393heart; and it is common to hear the motion of the wind to and fro in the intestines; the stopping of the lungs is easily discovered by the wheezing. As to the motion of the parts one among the other, to their becoming sensible they require either that their motions be increased or that the organ (the ear) be made more nice and powerful, to sensate and distinguish them as they are; for the doing of both which I think it is not impossible but that in many cases there may be HELPS found.”
“There might be a way to understand the internal movements and actions of bodies by the sounds they produce. Who knows, just as we can hear the ticking of a watch, the movement of the gears, the striking of the hammers, and the grinding of the teeth, maybe it’s possible to uncover the internal motions of bodies, whether they’re animal, vegetable, or mineral, by the noises they make? It could allow us to figure out what processes are happening in the various parts of a person’s body, helping us identify what mechanism is malfunctioning, what actions are taking place at certain times, and which are at rest, and so on? I feel encouraged not to dismiss these ideas as impossible, even though they are often ridiculed by most people and seem crazy, foolish, and fantastic. Since thinking they are impossible won’t enhance my knowledge, believing they are possible might lead me to notice things that others overlook as useless. Additionally, I have some encouragement from my experience, as I’ve been able to clearly hear the beating of a person’s heart; it's also common to hear the wind moving back and forth in the intestines, and you can easily detect issues with breathing by listening for wheezing. For the movement of the parts in relation to each other to be sensed, they either need to move more violently or the organ (the ear) should be made more sensitive and powerful to detect and differentiate them as they are; I believe it’s not impossible that there are ways to enhance both of these conditions in many instances.”
THE STEREOSCOPE.
Sir David Brewster, inquiring into the history of the stereoscope, finds that its fundamental principle was well known even to Euclid; that it was distinctly described by Galen fifteen hundred years ago; and that Giambattista Porta had, in 1599, given such a complete drawing of the two separate pictures as seen by each eye, and of the combined picture placed between them, that we recognize in it not only the principle, but the construction, of the stereoscope.
Sir David Brewster, looking into the history of the stereoscope, discovers that its basic principle was understood even by Euclid; that it was clearly described by Galen fifteen hundred years ago; and that Giambattista Porta, in 1599, provided such a thorough illustration of the two distinct images as seen by each eye, along with the combined image placed between them, that we see not only the principle but also the design of the stereoscope.
PREDICTIONS OF THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA.
Seneca, in his Medea, Act ii, thus shadowed forth this event fifteen centuries before its occurrence:—
Seneca, in his Medea, Act ii, foreshadowed this event fifteen centuries before it happened:—
(After the lapse of years, ages will come in which Ocean shall relax his chains around the world, and a vast continent shall appear, and Tiphys—the pilot—shall explore new regions, and Thule shall be no longer the utmost verge of the earth.)
(After many years, there will be times when the Ocean will release its grip on the world, and a great continent will emerge, and Tiphys—the navigator—will discover new lands, and Thule will no longer be the farthest point on Earth.)
“A prediction,” says the commentator, “of the Spanish discovery of America.”
“A prediction,” says the commentator, “about the Spanish discovery of America.”
Before Seneca’s lines were written, Plato had narrated the Egyptian legend that, engulfed in the ocean, but sometimes visible, was the island of Atalantis, supposed to mean the Western world.
Before Seneca’s lines were written, Plato had told the Egyptian legend that, submerged in the ocean but occasionally visible, was the island of Atlantis, which was thought to represent the Western world.
394Pulci, the friend of Lorenzo de Medici, in his Morgante Maggiore, written before the voyage of Columbus and before the physical discoveries of Galileo and Copernicus, introduces this remarkable prophecy; (alluding to the vulgar belief that the Columns of Hercules were the limits of the earth.)
394Pulci, a friend of Lorenzo de Medici, in his Morgante Maggiore, written before Columbus's voyage and before Galileo and Copernicus's discoveries, includes this notable prophecy; (referring to the common belief that the Columns of Hercules marked the edge of the earth.)
Dante, two centuries before, put this language into the mouth of Ulysses:—
Dante, two centuries earlier, had Ulysses say this:—
He then proceeds to mention the discovery of a mountainous island, after five months’ sailing.
He then talks about finding a mountainous island after sailing for five months.
The probability of a short western passage to India is mentioned by Aristotle, De Cœlo, ii., a view confirmed in stronger terms afterwards by Edrisi, the Arabian geographer, Strabo, Francis Bacon, Cardinal de Alliaco (Imago Mundi), and Toscanelli.
The chance of a brief western route to India is noted by Aristotle in De Cœlo, ii., a perspective later supported more strongly by Edrisi, the Arabian geographer, Strabo, Francis Bacon, Cardinal de Alliaco (Mundus Imagined), and Toscanelli.
Triumphs of Ingenuity.
Though there were many giants of old in physic and philosophy, yet I say, with Didacus Stella, “A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.”—Burton, Anat. of Melancholy.
Even though there were many great minds in science and philosophy in the past, I still believe, like Didacus Stella, “A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant can see farther than the giant himself.”—Burton, Anat. of Melancholy.
THE DISCOVERY OF THE PLANET NEPTUNE.
In his solitary study sat a young man, pale and thoughtful. His eyes were fixed upon myriads of numerals, through whose complexity his far-reaching mind saw into the untold mysteries of the solar universe. His glass was not pointed to the heavens, his eyes looked not out upon the stars, but his soul, in deep abstraction, pondered over the perturbations of Uranus, as noted for many a year before by many a casual observer. He measured the intensity and the direction of the disturbing forces, questioned the planet that was seen and known concerning the unknown cause of its irregularities, and compelled a star, itself beyond the reach of the common eye, to tell of the whereabouts, the volume, the orbit, of its fellow, which no eye, even through an optic-glass, had ever yet seen, and whose very existence then came for the first time upon the mental vision of the youthful sage through the power of numerical calculation. His was a faith. It was the evidence of things not seen. But it was like that higher and better faith of which spake the great Apostle of the Gentiles,—fast and sure. Full of his discovery, Le Verrier offered his conclusions to the Academy; but learned men, when assembled in bodies, give to enthusiasts but a cold reception. Le Verrier, sure of his position, then wrote to Dr. Galle, the Astronomer-Royal in Berlin, asking him to point his powerful glass to a certain quarter of the heavens, where must be found at that time the last of the planets. And there it was; and thence it was traced upon its mighty way, bending, like 396its fellows, to the distant influence of its great centre, the sun. There is something almost affecting in the thought that Le Verrier should have been denied the first direct sight of the sublime star towards which his soul had been so long leaning and which had so long been within his mental vision. It was, however, a fortunate loss, since his adversaries would have charged him with having found by chance what he detected by reason, and thus have placed in a common category one of the most magnificent discoveries of modern times, a beautiful illustration of the gigantic power of calculation.
In his quiet study sat a young man, pale and deep in thought. His eyes were fixed on countless numbers, through whose complexity his brilliant mind glimpsed the untold mysteries of the solar system. His telescope wasn’t aimed at the sky, and his eyes didn’t gaze at the stars, but his soul, in deep contemplation, pondered the disturbances of Uranus, as noted by many casual observers over the years. He measured the intensity and direction of the forces affecting it, interrogating the known planet about the unknown reasons for its irregularities, and made a distant star, beyond the sight of the average eye, reveal the location, size, and orbit of its companion, which no one had ever seen, even through a telescope, and whose very existence first appeared in the mind of the young thinker through the power of numerical calculations. He had faith — it was the proof of things not seen. But it resembled that greater faith spoken of by the great Apostle of the Gentiles—firm and sure. Full of his discovery, Le Verrier presented his findings to the Academy; however, learned men, when gathered together, often treat enthusiasts with indifference. Confident in his position, Le Verrier then wrote to Dr. Galle, the Astronomer-Royal in Berlin, asking him to focus his powerful telescope on a specific area of the sky, where the last planet should be found at that time. And there it was; and it was tracked on its grand path, bending, like its counterparts, to the distant influence of its great center, the sun. There's something almost touching in the thought that Le Verrier was denied the first direct view of the magnificent star toward which his spirit had long been drawn and which had been in his mental sight for so long. However, it was a fortunate loss, since his opponents would have claimed he stumbled upon what he discovered through reason, and thus would have categorized one of the most remarkable discoveries of modern times as a mere coincidence, a beautiful illustration of the immense power of calculation.
The distance of Neptune from the sun is 2,810,000,000 miles, and the time required for its orbital revolution, 164 years. Its diameter is 41,500 miles.
The distance from Neptune to the sun is 2,810,000,000 miles, and it takes 164 years to complete an orbit. Its diameter is 41,500 miles.
THE DISCOVERY OF THE PLANET VULCAN.
Leverrier, encouraged and made illustrious by his success in exploring those infinite spaces beyond the orbit of Herschel, turned his attention to the innermost circles—the central region of our solar system. By theoretical demonstrations, based on irregularities in the movements of Mercury, he proved the existence of some planet or planets lying still more closely within the light and heat of the sun. While proceeding with his calculations, he received a letter from Lescarbault—a poor physician of Orgères, a village in the department of Eure and Loire, in France—announcing the discovery of an intra-Mercurial body, making its transit, in appearance like a small black spot, across the disk of the sun. Possessed of a sensitive and modest soul,—as all true lovers of science are,—the doctor at first doubted the reality of his discovery, and hesitated to make it known. It was only after vainly waiting nine months, to verify his observation by another view of the object, that he prepared a letter, narrating what he thought he had seen, and sent it to the great Leverrier. The latter had just published an article on Mercury’s perturbations in the Kosmos of Paris. Astonished at this coincident proof of the correctness of his theory, he lost no time in starting for the village of 397Orgères, to obtain a personal interview with the humble discoverer of the new orb. The following account of the meeting was reported in the Kosmos by the Abbé Moigne, who took it from the lips of Leverrier himself:—
Leverrier, inspired and made famous by his success in exploring the vast spaces beyond the orbit of Herschel, shifted his focus to the innermost regions—the heart of our solar system. Using theoretical calculations based on irregular movements of Mercury, he demonstrated that there must be a planet or planets orbiting even closer to the sun, within its light and heat. While working on his calculations, he received a letter from Lescarbault—a struggling doctor from Orgères, a village in the Eure and Loire department of France—reporting the discovery of a body located between Mercury and the sun, appearing as a small black spot moving across the sun’s disk. With a sensitive and humble nature, as true lovers of science possess, the doctor initially doubted the reality of his find and hesitated to share it. Only after waiting nine months in vain for another chance to verify his observation did he write a letter describing what he believed he had seen and sent it to the esteemed Leverrier. The latter had just published an article about Mercury’s movements in the Cosmos of Paris. Surprised by this coincidence affirming his theory, he quickly traveled to the village of 397Orgères to meet the humble discoverer of the new planet. The following account of their meeting was reported in the Cosmos by Abbé Moigne, who received it directly from Leverrier himself:—
Leverrier left Paris for Orgères, in company with Vallee, four days after the date of Lescarbault’s letter. Orgères was twelve miles from the nearest railroad-station, and the party had to foot it across the country. On their arrival, Leverrier knocked loudly at the door, which was opened by the doctor himself; but his visitor declined to give his name. The simple, modest, timid Lescarbault, small in stature, stood abashed before the tall Leverrier, who, in blunt intonation, addressed him thus: “It is you, then, sir, who pretend to have discovered the intra-Mercurial planet, and who have committed the grave offence of keeping your discovery secret for nine months! I come to do justice to your pretensions, to warn you that you have either been dishonest or deceived. Tell me unequivocally what you have seen.” The lamb-like doctor, trembling at this rude summons, stammered out the following reply:—
Leverrier left Paris for Orgères, accompanied by Vallee, four days after receiving Lescarbault’s letter. Orgères was twelve miles from the nearest train station, so they had to walk across the countryside. When they arrived, Leverrier knocked loudly on the door, which the doctor opened himself; however, Leverrier chose not to give his name. The simple, modest, timid Lescarbault, who was small in stature, stood awkwardly before the tall Leverrier, who bluntly addressed him: “So, you're the one who claims to have discovered the intra-Mercurial planet, and you've made the serious mistake of keeping your discovery a secret for nine months! I’m here to assess your claims, to warn you that you’ve either been dishonest or misled. Tell me clearly what you've observed.” The timid doctor, shaking at this harsh demand, stammered out the following reply:—
“On the 26th of March (1859), about four o’clock, I turned my telescope to the sun, when, to my surprise, I saw, at a small distance from its margin, a black spot, well defined, and perfectly round, advancing upon the disk of the sun. A customer called me away, and, hurrying him off as fast as I could, I came back to my glass, when I found the round spot had continued its transit, and I saw it disappear from the opposite margin of the sun, after a projection upon it of an hour and a half. I did not seize the precise moment of contact. The spot was on the disk when I first saw it. I measured its distance from the margin, and counted the time it took to make the same distance, and so approximated the instant of its entry.” “To count time is easy to say,” said Leverrier; “but where is your chronometer?” “My chronometer is this watch, that beats only minutes,—the faithful companion of my professional labors.” “What! with that old watch? How dare you talk of counting seconds? My suspicions are too well 398founded.” “Pardon me, sir, but I have a pendulum that nearly beats seconds, and I will bring it down to show you.” He goes above-stairs and brings down a silken thread, the upper end of which he fastens to a nail, and brings to rest the ivory ball at the lower end. He then starts it from the vertical, and its oscillations beat seconds very nearly. “This is not enough, sir: how do you count these seconds while in the act of observing?” “My profession is to feel pulses and count their pulsations, and my pendulum puts my seconds into my ears, and I have no difficulty in counting them.”
“On March 26th, 1859, around four o’clock, I pointed my telescope at the sun and, to my surprise, I saw a small black spot, clearly defined and perfectly round, moving across the sun’s surface. A customer interrupted me, and after quickly dealing with him, I returned to my telescope, only to find that the round spot had continued its path and disappeared from the opposite edge of the sun after an hour and a half. I didn’t catch the exact moment it made contact. The spot was already on the disk when I first noticed it. I measured its distance from the edge and timed how long it took to cover that same distance to estimate when it entered.” “Counting time is easy to say,” said Leverrier; “but where’s your chronometer?” “My chronometer is this watch, which only ticks off minutes—my reliable companion in my work.” “What! With that old watch? How can you claim to count seconds? My doubts are well-founded.” “Excuse me, sir, but I have a pendulum that nearly counts seconds, and I'll bring it down to show you.” He went upstairs and returned with a silken thread, securing the upper end to a nail and letting the ivory ball at the lower end come to rest. He then set it swinging from the vertical, and its oscillations were very close to counting seconds. “This isn’t enough, sir: how do you count these seconds while observing?” “My profession involves feeling pulses and counting their beats, and my pendulum ticks my seconds into my ears, so I have no trouble counting them.”
“But where is your telescope?” The doctor showed Leverrier his glass, which was one of Cauchoix’s best. It was four inches in diameter, and mounted on a rude stand. He took the wondering astronomer-imperial to his roof, where he was building a rude revolving platform and dome. “This is all very well; but where is your original memorandum?” The doctor ran and got his almanac, or Connaissance des Temps, and in it he finds a square piece of paper, used as a marker, and on it, all covered with grease and laudanum, is the original memorandum! “But you have falsified the time of emergence. It is four minutes too late by this memorandum.” “It is; but the four minutes are the error of my watch, which I corrected by sidereal time, by the aid of this little telescope.”
“But where’s your telescope?” The doctor showed Leverrier his glass, which was one of Cauchoix’s best. It was four inches in diameter, mounted on a crude stand. He took the amazed astronomer-imperial to his roof, where he was building a simple revolving platform and dome. “This is all fine, but where’s your original memo?” The doctor ran to get his almanac, or Knowledge of the Times, and in it he found a square piece of paper, used as a bookmark, and on it, all covered in grease and laudanum, was the original memo! “But you’ve altered the time of emergence. It’s four minutes too late according to this memo.” “It is; but the four minutes are the error of my watch, which I corrected using sidereal time, with the help of this little telescope.”
“But how did you determine the two angular co-ordinates of the point of contact, of the entry and emergence of the planet, and how did you measure the chord of the arc between them?” Having explained the simple method which he pursued in the premises to the satisfaction of the astronomer, the latter next inquired after his rough drafts of calculation for determining the distance of the planet from the sun. “My rough draughts! Paper is scarce with us. I am a joiner as well as an astronomer. I write on my boards, and when I am done, I plane them off and begin again; but I think I have preserved them.” On visiting the shop, they found the board, with all its lines and numbers still unobliterated!
“But how did you figure out the two angular coordinates of the point of contact, as well as the entry and exit of the planet, and how did you measure the chord of the arc between them?” After explaining the straightforward method he used in the process to the satisfaction of the astronomer, the latter then asked about his rough drafts of calculations for finding the planet's distance from the sun. “My rough drafts! Paper is scarce for us. I’m a carpenter as well as an astronomer. I write on my boards, and when I’m done, I plane them down and start over; but I think I’ve kept them.” When they visited the shop, they found the board, with all its lines and numbers still intact!
The Parisian savant was now convinced that Lescarbault 399had really seen the planet whose existence he had himself foretold. Turning to the amateur astronomer, he revealed his personality, and congratulated his humble brother on the magnificent discovery thus confirmed. It was the event in the Orgères physician’s life. Honors poured in upon him. The cross of the Legion of Honor was sent to him from Paris, and his name was at once enrolled in the lists of the leading scientific academies of Europe.
The Parisian expert was now convinced that Lescarbault 399had truly seen the planet whose existence he had predicted. Turning to the amateur astronomer, he showed his true self and congratulated his fellow scholar on the amazing discovery that had now been confirmed. It was the highlight of the physician from Orgères’ life. Recognition flooded in. The cross of the Legion of Honor was sent to him from Paris, and his name was immediately added to the lists of top scientific academies in Europe.
The new orb, whose revolution is performed in 19 days, 17 hours, has been felicitously named Vulcan. If objection be offered to the selection of names for the planets from “Olympus’ dread hierarchy,” it must at least be acknowledged that there is a peculiar fitness in their distribution.
The new planet, which takes 19 days and 17 hours to complete its orbit, has been happily named Vulcan. If there are objections to choosing names for the planets from “Olympus’ daunting hierarchy,” it must still be recognized that there is a unique appropriateness in how they are assigned.
INGENIOUS STRATAGEM OF COLUMBUS
During the fourth voyage of Columbus, while prosecuting his discoveries among the West India Islands and along the coast of the continent, his vessels, from continual subjection to tempestuous weather, and being, to use his own expression, “bored by the worms as full of holes as a honey-comb,” were reduced to mere wrecks, unable any longer to keep the sea, and were finally stranded on the shore of Jamaica. Being beyond the possibility of repair, they were fitted up for the temporary use of Columbus, who was in feeble health, and of such of his crew as were disabled by sickness, those who were well being sent abroad for assistance and supplies. Their immediate wants were amply provided for, Diego Mendez having made arrangements with the natives for a daily exchange of knives, combs, beads, fish-hooks, &c., for cassava bread, fish, and other provisions. In the course of a short time, however, provisions on the island became scarce, and the supplies began gradually to fall off. The arrangements for the daily delivery of certain quantities were irregularly attended to, and finally ceased entirely. 400The Indians no longer thronged to the harbor with provisions, and often refused them when applied for. The Spaniards were obliged to forage about the neighborhood for their daily food, but found more and more difficulty in procuring it; and now, in addition to their other causes of despondency, they began to entertain horrible apprehensions of famine.
During Columbus's fourth voyage, as he explored the West Indies and the nearby coast, his ships faced relentless storms and, as he put it, were “bored by the worms as full of holes as a honey-comb,” ending up as wrecks that could no longer sail and were ultimately stranded on the shore of Jamaica. With no hope of repair, the ships were adapted for temporary use by Columbus, who was in poor health, and some of his crew who were sick, while the healthier members went out to seek help and supplies. Their immediate needs were well managed, as Diego Mendez had made deals with the locals for a daily exchange of knives, combs, beads, fish-hooks, and other items for cassava bread, fish, and other food. However, it wasn’t long before food on the island started to run low, and supplies began to dwindle. The arrangements for the daily deliveries became inconsistent and eventually stopped altogether. The Indians no longer visited the harbor with food and often turned down requests when the Spaniards sought supplies. The Spaniards had to search the area for their daily meals but found it increasingly difficult to do so; now, along with their other worries, they began to fear the possibility of starvation.
The admiral heard the melancholy forebodings of his men, and beheld the growing evil, but was at a loss for a remedy. To resort to force was an alternative full of danger, and of but temporary efficacy. It would require all those who were well enough to bear arms to sally forth, while he and the rest of the infirm would be left defenceless on board the wreck, exposed to the vengeance of the natives.
The admiral heard his men’s gloomy predictions and saw the worsening situation, but he couldn’t find a solution. Using force was a risky option that would only work for a short time. It would mean sending out everyone who was fit to fight while he and the other sick crew members would be left defenseless on the damaged ship, vulnerable to the anger of the locals.
In the mean time, the scarcity daily increased. The Indians perceived the wants of the white men, and had learned from them the art of making bargains. They asked ten times the former quantity of European articles for a given amount of provisions, and brought their supplies in scanty quantities, to enhance the eagerness of the Spaniards. At length even this relief ceased, and there was an absolute distress for want of food, the natives withholding all provisions, in hopes either of starving the admiral and his people, or of driving them from the island.
In the meantime, the shortage got worse every day. The Native Americans recognized the needs of the white men and had learned to negotiate from them. They demanded ten times the usual amount of European goods for a given quantity of food and brought in their supplies in limited amounts to increase the Spaniards' desperation. Eventually, even this source of relief stopped, and there was a complete lack of food, with the natives withholding all provisions, hoping either to starve the admiral and his crew or to force them off the island.
In this extremity, a fortunate idea suddenly presented itself to Columbus. From his knowledge of astronomy, he ascertained that within three days there would be a total eclipse of the moon, in the early part of the night. He sent, therefore, an Indian of the island of Hispaniola, who served as his interpreter, to summon the principal caciques to a grand conference, appointing for it the day of the eclipse. When all were assembled, he told them, by his interpreter, that he and his followers were worshippers of a deity who lived in the skies; that this deity favored such as did well, but punished all transgressors; that, as they must all have noticed, he had protected Diego Mendez and his companions in their voyage, they having gone in obedience to the 401orders of their commander, but that, on the other hand, he had visited Francisco de Porras and his companions with all kinds of crosses and afflictions, in consequence of their rebellion; that this great deity was incensed against the Indians who had refused or neglected to furnish his faithful worshippers with provisions, and intended to chastise them with pestilence and famine. Lest they should disbelieve this warning, a signal would be given that very night, in the heavens. They would behold the moon change its color, and gradually lose its light,—a token of the fearful punishment which awaited them.
In this desperate situation, Columbus had a lucky idea. Based on his knowledge of astronomy, he figured out that there would be a total eclipse of the moon in just three days, early in the night. He sent an Indian from Hispaniola, who acted as his interpreter, to call the main leaders for a big meeting, scheduling it for the day of the eclipse. When everyone gathered, he told them through his interpreter that he and his crew worshipped a god who lived in the sky; this god favored those who did good but punished those who broke the rules. He pointed out that they must have seen how this god protected Diego Mendez and his companions on their voyage because they followed their leader's orders, while on the other hand, he had caused Francisco de Porras and his team to suffer all sorts of troubles because of their rebellion. He warned that this powerful deity was angry with the Indians who had refused to help his loyal worshippers with food and intended to punish them with disease and starvation. To make sure they took this warning seriously, a sign would appear in the sky that very night. They would see the moon change color and gradually lose its light—a sign of the terrible punishment that awaited them.
Many of the Indians were alarmed at the solemnity of this prediction; others treated it with scoffing: all, however, awaited with solicitude the coming of the night, and none with more than Columbus himself, who was distracted with anxiety lest the weather should prove cloudy or rainy. Imagine his gratitude when the evening sky appeared undimmed by a cloud! When the time arrived, and the natives beheld a dark shadow stealing over the moon, they began to tremble. Their fears increased with the progress of the eclipse; and when they saw mysterious darkness covering the whole face of nature, there were no bounds to their terror. Seizing upon whatever provisions they could procure, they hurried to the ships, uttering cries and lamentations. They threw themselves at the feet of Columbus, implored him to intercede with his God to avert the threatened calamities, and assured him that thenceforth they would bring him whatever he required. Columbus told them that he would retire and commune with the deity. Shutting himself up in his cabin, he remained there during the increase of the eclipse, the forests and shores all the while resounding with the howlings and supplications of the savages. When the eclipse was about to diminish, he came forth and informed the natives that he had interceded for them with his God, who, on condition of their fulfilling their promises, had deigned to pardon them; in sign of which he would withdraw the darkness from the moon.
Many of the Native Americans were shocked by the seriousness of this prediction; others mocked it. Still, everyone anxiously awaited the night, especially Columbus, who was worried that the weather would be cloudy or rainy. Just imagine how grateful he was when the evening sky appeared clear without a cloud! When the time came and the natives saw a dark shadow creeping across the moon, they started to panic. Their fear grew as the eclipse progressed; and when they noticed a strange darkness enveloping the entire landscape, their terror reached new heights. Grabbing whatever supplies they could find, they rushed to the ships, crying and wailing. They fell at Columbus's feet, begging him to appeal to his God to prevent the looming disaster and promised that from then on, they would give him whatever he needed. Columbus told them that he would go and speak to his deity. He locked himself in his cabin and stayed there while the eclipse intensified, the forests and shores echoing with the cries and prayers of the frightened natives. As the eclipse began to wane, he emerged and told the natives that he had prayed to his God for them, who, if they kept their promises, had agreed to forgive them; as a sign of this, he would lift the darkness from the moon.
When the Indians saw that planet restored presently to its 402brightness and rolling in all its beauty through the firmament, they overwhelmed the admiral with thanks for his intercession, and repaired to their homes, joyful at having escaped such great disasters. They now regarded Columbus with awe and reverence, as a man in the peculiar favor and confidence of the Deity, since he knew upon earth what was passing in the heavens. They hastened to propitiate him with gifts, supplies again arrived daily at the harbor, and from that time forward there was no want of provisions.
When the Native Americans saw that the planet was restored to its bright state and shining beautifully in the sky, they showered the admiral with gratitude for his help and returned to their homes, happy to have escaped such terrible disasters. They now viewed Columbus with admiration and respect, believing him to be a person in special favor with God, since he knew what was happening in the heavens. They quickly sought to please him with gifts, supplies started arriving daily at the harbor, and from then on, there was no shortage of food.
A LESSON WORTH LEARNING.
The possibility of a great change being introduced by very slight beginnings may be illustrated by a tale which Lockman tells of a vizier, who, having offended his master, was condemned to perpetual captivity in a lofty tower. At night his wife came to weep below his window. “Cease your grief,” said the sage: “go home for the present, and return hither when you have procured a live black beetle, together with a little ghee, [or buffalo’s butter,] three clews,—one of the finest silk, another of stout pack-thread, and another of whip-cord; finally, a stout coil of rope.” When she again came to the foot of the tower, provided according to her husband’s demands, he directed her to touch the head of the insect with a little of the ghee, to tie one end of the silk thread around him, and to place him on the wall of the tower. Attracted by the smell of the butter, which he conceived to be in store somewhere above him, the beetle continued to ascend till he reached the top, and thus put the vizier in possession of the end of the silk thread, who drew up the pack-thread by means of the silk, the small cord by means of the pack-thread, and, by means of the cord, a stout rope capable of sustaining his own weight,—and so at last escaped from the place of his duress.
The idea that major changes can come from very small beginnings can be demonstrated by a story that Lockman tells about a vizier. After offending his master, he was sentenced to life in a tall tower. Every night, his wife would come to cry beneath his window. “Stop your crying,” said the sage. “Go home for now, and come back when you’ve gotten a live black beetle, along with a little ghee (or buffalo butter), three pieces of string—one made of fine silk, another of strong pack-thread, and the last of whip-cord; and finally, a sturdy coil of rope.” When she arrived again at the base of the tower with everything her husband asked for, he instructed her to touch the beetle's head with some of the ghee, tie one end of the silk thread around it, and set it on the tower wall. Lured by the smell of the butter, which he believed was stored above him, the beetle climbed higher until it reached the top, giving the vizier the end of the silk thread. He then pulled up the pack-thread using the silk, the small cord with the pack-thread, and finally, with the cord, a strong rope that could hold his weight—allowing him to escape from his confinement.
CHOOSING A KING.
The Tyrians having been much weakened by long wars with the Persians, their slaves rose in a body, slew their masters and 403their children, took possession of their property, and married their wives. The slaves, having thus obtained everything, consulted about the choice of a king, and agreed that he who should first discern the sun rise should be king. One of them, being more merciful than the rest, had in the general massacre spared his master, Straton, and his son, whom he hid in a cave; and to his old master he now resorted for advice as to this competition.
The Tyrians, having been significantly weakened by long wars with the Persians, saw their slaves rise up, kill their masters and their children, take their property, and marry their wives. Once the slaves had everything, they discussed who should be their king and agreed that the first person to see the sunrise would be it. One of them, showing more mercy than the others, had spared his master, Straton, and his son during the massacre, hiding them in a cave. Now, he went to his former master for advice on this contest.
Straton advised his slave that when others looked to the east he should look toward the west. Accordingly, when the rebel tribe had all assembled in the fields, and every man’s eyes were fixed upon the east, Straton’s slave, turning his back upon the rest, looked only westward. He was scoffed at by every one for his absurdity, but immediately he espied the sunbeams upon the high towers and chimneys in the city, and, announcing the discovery, claimed the crown as his reward.
Straton told his slave that when everyone else looked to the east, he should look to the west instead. So, when the rebel tribe gathered in the fields, and everyone’s eyes were on the east, Straton’s slave turned his back to the others and looked only west. He was mocked by everyone for his foolishness, but then he spotted the sunlight shining on the tall buildings and chimneys in the city, and after pointing it out, he claimed the crown as his prize.
KING JOHN AND THE ABBOT.
The Fancies of Fact.
THE WOUNDS OF JULIUS CÆSAR.
At a meeting of the French Academy of Medicine, a few years ago, a curious paper was read, on behalf of M. Dubois, of Amiens, entitled “Investigations into the death of Julius Cæsar.” M. Dubois having looked up the various passages referring to this famous historic incident to be found in Dion Cassius, Plutarch, Suetonius, Appian, &c., and compared them with one another, has fixed the spots where the four first wounds were inflicted, and the names of the conspirators who inflicted them. The first blow, struck by one of the brothers Casca, produced a slight wound underneath the left clavicle; the second, struck by the other Casca, penetrated the walls of the thorax toward the right; Cassius inflicted the third wound in the face. Decimus Brutus gave the fourth stab in the region of the groin. Contrary to the general opinion, Marcus Brutus, though one of the conspirators, did not strike the dictator. After the first blows Cæsar fainted, and then all the conspirators hacked his body. He was carried by three slaves in a litter to his house. Anstistius, the physician, was 407called in and found thirty-five wounds, only one of which was in his opinion fatal, that of the second Casca.
At a meeting of the French Academy of Medicine a few years ago, a fascinating paper was presented on behalf of M. Dubois from Amiens, titled “Investigations into the Death of Julius Cæsar.” M. Dubois researched various references to this famous historical event found in Dion Cassius, Plutarch, Suetonius, Appian, etc., and compared them with each other. He identified the locations where the first four wounds were inflicted and named the conspirators responsible for them. The first blow, dealt by one of the Casca brothers, caused a minor wound beneath the left collarbone; the second, struck by the other Casca, penetrated the right side of the chest; Cassius delivered the third wound to the face. Decimus Brutus inflicted the fourth stab in the groin area. Contrary to popular belief, Marcus Brutus, despite being one of the conspirators, did not attack the dictator. After the initial blows, Cæsar fainted, and then all the conspirators proceeded to stab his body. He was carried home on a litter by three slaves. Anstistius, the physician, was called in and found thirty-five wounds, with only one, in his opinion, being fatal: that from the second Casca.
BILLS FOR STRANGE SERVICES.
The bill of the Cirencester painter, mentioned by Bishop Horne, (Essays and Thoughts,) is as follows:—
The bill from the Cirencester painter, referenced by Bishop Horne, (Essays and Thoughts,) is as follows:—
Mr. Charles Terrebee | |
To Joseph Cook, Dr. | |
To mending the Commandments, altering the Belief, and making a new Lord’s Prayer | £1—1—0 |
Here is a Carpenter’s bill of the Fifteenth Century, copied from the records of an old London Church:—
Here is a carpenter's invoice from the 15th century, taken from the records of an old London church:—
s. | d. | ||
---|---|---|---|
Item. | To screwynge a home on e y Divil, and glueinge a bitt on hys tayle |
vij | |
Item. | To repayring e y Vyrginne Marye before and behynde, & makynge a new Chylde |
ij | viij |
LAW LOGIC.
Judge Blackstone says, in his Commentaries (Vol. i. ch. xviii.), that every Bishop, Parson or Vicar is a Corporation. Lord Coke asserts, in his Reports (10. Rep. 32,) that “a Corporation has no soul.” Upon these premises, the logical inference would be that neither Bishops, Parsons nor Vicars have souls.
Judge Blackstone says in his Commentaries (Vol. i. ch. xviii.) that every Bishop, Parson, or Vicar is a Corporation. Lord Coke claims in his Reports (10. Rep. 32) that “a Corporation has no soul.” Based on this reasoning, the logical conclusion would be that Bishops, Parsons, and Vicars don’t have souls.
RECIPROCAL CONVERSION.
A curious case of mixed process of conversion was that of the two brothers, Dr. John Reynold’s, King’s Professor at Oxford, in 1630, a zealous Roman Catholic, and Dr. Wm. Reynolds, an eminent Protestant. They were both learned men, and as brothers held such affectionate relations, that the deadly heresies of which each regarded the other as the victim were matters of earnest and pleading remonstrance between them by discussion and correspondence. The pains and zeal of each were 408equally rewarded. The Roman Catholic brother became an ardent Protestant, and the Protestant brother became a Roman Catholic.
A curious case of mixed conversion processes was that of the two brothers, Dr. John Reynolds, King’s Professor at Oxford, in 1630, a passionate Roman Catholic, and Dr. William Reynolds, a prominent Protestant. They were both knowledgeable men, and as brothers shared such a close bond that the serious heresies each believed the other had fallen victim to became the subject of sincere and heartfelt discussions and correspondence between them. The efforts and dedication of each were equally rewarded. The Roman Catholic brother became a committed Protestant, and the Protestant brother became a Roman Catholic.
PITHY PRAYER.
We are indebted to Hume for the preservation of a short prayer, which he says was that of Lord Astley, before he charged at Edge-hill. It ran thus: “O Lord, thou knowest how busy I must be this day; if I forget thee, do not thou forget me.” And Hume adds, “There were certainly much longer prayers in the Parliamentary army, but I doubt if there was as good a one.”
We owe a debt to Hume for keeping a short prayer that he said belonged to Lord Astley before he charged at Edge-Hill. It went like this: “O Lord, you know how busy I must be today; if I forget you, please don’t forget me.” And Hume notes, “There were definitely much longer prayers in the Parliamentary army, but I doubt there was one as good as this.”
MELROSE BY SUNLIGHT.
The beautiful description of the appearance of the ruins of Melrose Abbey by moonlight, in the Lay of the Last Minstrel, has led thousands to visit the scene “when silver edges the imagery,” yet it is worth noting that the author never saw the ruined pile by “the pale moonlight.” Bernard Barton once wrote to Scott to request him to favor a young lady with a copy of the lines in his own handwriting. Sir Walter complied, but substituted for the concluding lines of the original the following:—
The stunning description of the ruins of Melrose Abbey by moonlight in the Lay of the Last Minstrel has inspired thousands to visit the site “when silver edges the imagery.” However, it's interesting to point out that the author never actually saw the ruins in “the pale moonlight.” Bernard Barton once wrote to Scott asking him to give a young lady a copy of the lines in his own handwriting. Sir Walter agreed, but replaced the final lines of the original with this:—
BACK ACTION.
Alphonse Karr, in his Guêpes, speaking of the dexterities of the legal profession, relates a pleasant anecdote of the distinguished lawyer, afterward deputy, M. Chaix d’Est-Ange. He was employed in a case where both the parties were old men. Referring to his client, he said: “He has attained that age, when the mind, freed from the passions, and tyranny of the body, takes a higher flight, and soars in a purer and serener air.” Later in his speech, he found occasion to allude to the 409opposite party, of whom he remarked: “I do not deny his natural intelligence; but he has reached an age in which the mind participates in the enfeeblement, the decrepitude, and the degradation of the body.”
Alphonse Karr, in his Wasps, talking about the skills of the legal profession, shares a funny story about the renowned lawyer, later a deputy, M. Chaix d’Est-Ange. He was handling a case involving two elderly clients. Referring to his client, he remarked, “He has reached an age when the mind, free from passions and the body's constraints, can rise higher and thrive in a clearer and calmer atmosphere.” Later in his speech, he had the chance to mention the opposing party, stating, “I don’t deny his natural intelligence; however, he has reached an age where the mind shares in the weakening, decay, and decline of the body.”
THE AUDITORIUMS OF THE LAST CENTURY.
When we read of Patrick Henry’s wonderful displays of eloquence, we naturally figure to ourselves a spacious interior and a great crowd of rapt listeners. But, in truth, those of his orations which quickened or changed the march of events, and the thrill of which has been felt in the nerves of four generations, were all delivered in small rooms and to few hearers, never more than one hundred and fifty. The first thought of the visitor to St. John’s Church in Richmond, is: Could it have been here, in this oaken chapel of fifty or sixty pews, that Patrick Henry delivered the greatest and best known of all his speeches? Was it here that he uttered those words of doom, so unexpected, so unwelcome, “We must fight”? Even here. And the words were spoken in a tone and manner worthy of the men to whom they were addressed—with quiet and profound solemnity.
When we read about Patrick Henry’s amazing displays of eloquence, we naturally picture a spacious venue and a large crowd of captivated listeners. But in reality, the speeches that sparked change and resonated through four generations were all delivered in small rooms, to audiences of no more than one hundred and fifty people. When you first visit St. John’s Church in Richmond, you might wonder: Could it really have been here, in this oak chapel with only fifty or sixty pews, that Patrick Henry gave his most famous speech? Was it here that he uttered those unexpected and unwelcome words, “We must fight”? Yes, it was here. And he spoke those words with a tone and presence that matched the seriousness of the occasion and the gravity of his audience, with calm and deep solemnity.
TRUE FORM OF THE CROSS.
The ancient and ignominious punishment of crucifixion was abolished by the Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, who thought it indecent and irreligious that the Cross should be used for the putting to death of the vilest offenders, while he himself erected it as a trophy, and esteemed it the noblest ornament of his diadem and military standards. In consequence of his decree, crucifixion has scarcely been witnessed in Europe for the last 1500 years. Those painters, sculptors, poets and writers who have attempted to describe it have, therefore, followed their own imagination or vague tradition rather than the evidence of history. But they could hardly do otherwise, because the writings of the early fathers of the Church and of pagan historians were not generally accessible 410to them until after the revival of learning in the Fifteenth Century, and because the example of depicting the cross once given had been religiously followed by the earliest painters and sculptors, and universally accepted without question; and to object to the generally received form would have been deemed sacrilegious. These two reasons may have been sufficient to deter the great artists of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries from making any change; there may, however, have been a third, quite as potent (if not more so), and that is that the introduction of the lower projecting beam, astride of which the crucified person was seated, would have been both inartistic and indecent, yet this third piece was invariably used when the punishment was inflicted, except in the case where the sufferer was crucified with the head downward. The researches of two eminent scholars of the Seventeenth Century—Salmasius and Lipsius—have put it beyond a doubt that the cross consisted of a strong upright post, not much taller than a man of lofty stature, which was sharpened at the lower end, by which it was fixed into the ground, having a short bar or stake projecting from its middle, and a longer transverse beam firmly joined to the upright post near the top. The condemned person was made to carry his cross to the place of execution, after having been first whipped; he was then stripped of his clothing, and offered a cup of medicated wine, to impart firmness or alleviate pain. He was then made to sit astride the middle bar, and his limbs, having been bound with cords, the legs to the upright beam, the arms to the transverse, were finally secured by driving large iron spikes through the hands and feet. The cross was then fixed in its proper position, and the sufferer was left to die, not so much from pain (as is generally supposed) as from exhaustion, or heat, or cold, or hunger, or wild beasts, unless (as was usually the case) his sufferings were put an end to by burning, stoning, suffocation, breaking the bones, or piercing the vital organs. If left alone he generally survived two days or three, and there are cases 411recorded where the sufferer lingered till the fifth day before dying.
The ancient and shameful punishment of crucifixion was ended by the Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, who found it indecent and irreligious to use the Cross for executing the worst offenders, especially while he himself honored it as a trophy and considered it the greatest decoration of his crown and military standards. As a result of his decree, crucifixion has hardly been seen in Europe for the last 1500 years. Those painters, sculptors, poets, and writers who have tried to portray it have largely relied on their imagination or vague traditions rather than historical evidence. They had little choice, though, since the writings of early Church fathers and pagan historians were not widely available to them until after the revival of learning in the Fifteenth Century. Furthermore, the initial method of depicting the cross was strictly followed by the earliest painters and sculptors and was universally accepted without question; to challenge the accepted form would have been considered sacrilegious. These two factors may have been enough to discourage the great artists of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries from making any changes; however, there may also have been a third reason, which could be just as influential (if not more so): the addition of the lower projecting beam, on which the crucified person sat, would have been both unartistic and indecent, yet this third element was always used when the punishment was carried out, except when the person was crucified upside down. The research of two prominent scholars from the Seventeenth Century—Salmasius and Lipsius—has confirmed that the cross was made up of a strong upright post, not much taller than a tall man, sharpened at the bottom to be set into the ground, with a short bar or stake extending from the middle, and a longer horizontal beam securely attached to the upright post near the top. The condemned person had to carry his cross to the execution site after being whipped; then, he was stripped of his clothing and offered a cup of medicated wine to ease pain or steadiness. He was then made to sit across the middle bar, and with his limbs bound—his legs to the upright beam and his arms to the horizontal beam—he was finally secured by driving large iron spikes through his hands and feet. The cross was then set in position, and the sufferer was left to die, not so much from pain (as is commonly believed) but from exhaustion, heat, cold, hunger, or wild animals, unless (as was typically the case) his suffering was ended by burning, stoning, suffocation, breaking bones, or piercing vital organs. If left alone, he generally survived two or three days, and there have been instances recorded where the victim lingered until the fifth day before dying.
Referring to the earliest Christian writers, who witnessed the crucifixion of hundreds of their martyred brethren, it will be seen that the foregoing statement of Salmasius respecting the true form of the cross is well founded. Irenæus, Bishop of Lyons, in the second century, says: “The structure of the cross has five ends or summits, two in length, two in breadth, and one in the middle, on which the crucified person rests.” Justin, another Christian writer of the same period, who acquired the surname of Martyr from the cruel death he suffered for his faith, also speaks of “that end projecting from the middle of the upright post like a horn, on which crucified persons are seated.” Tertullian, another Christian writer, who lived a little later, says: “A part, and, indeed, a principal part, of the cross is any post which is fixed in an upright position; but to us the entire cross is imputed, including its transverse beam, and the projecting bar which serves as a seat.”
Referring to the earliest Christian writers who witnessed the crucifixion of hundreds of their martyred brothers and sisters, it will be clear that Salmasius's statement about the true shape of the cross is well-founded. Irenæus, the Bishop of Lyons in the second century, says: “The structure of the cross has five ends or points—two for length, two for width, and one in the middle, where the person being crucified rests.” Justin, another Christian writer from the same period who earned the nickname Martyr because of his brutal death for his faith, also talks about “that end sticking out from the middle of the upright post like a horn, where crucified people are placed.” Tertullian, another Christian writer who lived a bit later, states: “A part, and indeed a main part, of the cross is any post that stands upright; but to us, the entire cross includes its horizontal beam and the protruding part that acts as a seat.”
This fact (of the sufferer being seated) will account for the long duration of the punishment; the wounds in the hands and feet did not lacerate any large vessel, and were nearly closed by the nails which produced them. The Rev. Alban Butler, in his Lives of the Saints, gives numerous instances of the lingering nature of this mode of execution, and of the wonderful heroism displayed by the Christians who underwent it. The Pagan historians also narrate instances of similar heroism on the part of political offenders, who were put to death on the Cross. Bomilcar, the commander of the Carthaginian army in Sicily, having shown a disposition to desert to the enemy, was nailed to a gibbet in the middle of the forum; but “from the height of the Cross, as from a tribunal, he declaimed against the crimes of the citizens; and having spoken thus with a loud voice amid an immense concourse of the people, he expired.” Crucifixion has been practised from the remotest ages in the East, and is still occasionally resorted to in Turkey, 412Madagascar, and Northern Africa. The Jewish historian, Josephus, states that the chief baker of Pharaoh, whose dream had been interpreted by Joseph, was crucified, though Scripture says he was hanged; but this may mean hanged on a cross, for the expression seems to be almost equivalent to crucified, as appears from Galatians, chap. III. v. 13. “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us; for it is written, ‘Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree.’” As regards art, it is not now to be expected that the example set by the great masters will be discarded. In this, as in other matters, custom is law, whose arbitrary sway will be exercised in spite of facts.
This fact (that the person suffering was seated) explains the long duration of the punishment; the wounds in the hands and feet did not hit any major blood vessels and were nearly closed by the nails that caused them. The Rev. Alban Butler, in his Lives of the Saints, provides numerous examples of the prolonged nature of this method of execution and the incredible bravery shown by the Christians who endured it. Pagan historians also recount cases of similar courage from political offenders executed on the Cross. Bomilcar, the commander of the Carthaginian army in Sicily, who was inclined to defect to the enemy, was nailed to a gallows in the middle of the forum; yet, “from the height of the Cross, like from a tribunal, he spoke out against the wrongs of the citizens; and after proclaiming this loudly in front of a massive crowd, he died.” Crucifixion has been practiced since ancient times in the East and is still occasionally used in Turkey, Madagascar, and North Africa. The Jewish historian, Josephus, states that Pharaoh’s chief baker, whose dream was interpreted by Joseph, was crucified, even though Scripture says he was hanged; but this could mean hanged on a cross, as the term seems nearly equivalent to crucified, as shown in Galatians, chap. III. v. 13. “Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, becoming a curse for us; for it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.’” Regarding art, it is not realistic to expect that the example set by the great masters will be disregarded. In this and other matters, tradition is law, and its arbitrary control will prevail despite the facts.
SINGULAR COINCIDENCES.
A. was walking with a friend near Oxford, when a snipe rose within shot. They both “presented” their walking-sticks at the bird, remarking what a “pretty shot” it would have been for a gun. The snipe flew on a short distance, then towered, and fell dead. When examined, the bird was found to be apparently uninjured; but a close examination discovered the trace of a former injury, which had led to the rupture of a blood-vessel. If, instead of a walking-stick a gun had been presented and discharged at the bird, no one would have ventured to doubt that the death of the bird was due to the gun.
A. was walking with a friend near Oxford when a snipe flew up within range. They both aimed their walking sticks at the bird, commenting on how great a shot it would have been with a gun. The snipe flew a short distance, then soared higher and fell dead. When they looked at the bird, it seemed unharmed; however, a closer inspection revealed signs of a previous injury that had caused a blood vessel to burst. If they had aimed a gun at the bird instead of a walking stick, no one would have doubted that the gun was responsible for its death.
A young officer in the army of the famous Wolfe was apparently dying of an abscess in the lungs. He was absent from his regiment on sick-leave; but resolved to rejoin it, when a battle was expected. “For,” said he, “since I am given over, I had better be doing my duty; and my life’s being shortened a few days, matters not.” He received a shot which pierced the abscess, and made an opening for the discharge. He recovered, and lived to the age of eighty.
A young officer in Wolfe's famous army was apparently dying from a lung abscess. He was on sick leave from his regiment but decided to return, as a battle was approaching. “Since I’m on borrowed time, I might as well do my duty; a few extra days of life don’t really matter,” he said. He took a bullet that pierced the abscess and created an opening for drainage. He recovered and lived to be eighty.
In the United Service Museum, (Whitehall Yard, London,) 413are exhibited the “jaws of a shark,” wide open, and enclosing a tin box. The history of this strange exhibition is as follows:—A ship, on her way to the West Indies, “fell in with” and chased a suspicious-looking craft, which had all the appearance of a slaver. During the pursuit, the chase threw something overboard. She was subsequently captured, and taken into Port Royal to be tried as a slaver. In absence of the ship’s papers and other proofs, the slaver was not only in a fair way to escape condemnation, but her captain was anticipating the recovery of pecuniary damages against his captor for illegal detention. While the subject was under discussion, a vessel came into port, which had followed closely in the track of the chase above described. She had caught a shark; and in its stomach was found a tin box, which contained the slaver’s papers. Upon the strength of this evidence the slaver was condemned. The written account is attached to the box.
In the United Service Museum, (Whitehall Yard, London,) 413 you can see the “jaws of a shark,” wide open, holding a tin box. The story behind this unusual exhibit goes like this: A ship heading to the West Indies spotted and chased a suspicious-looking vessel, which seemed to be a slaver. During the chase, the slaver tossed something overboard. It was later captured and brought to Port Royal to face trial for being a slaver. Without the ship’s documents and other evidence, the slaver was likely to avoid condemnation, and the captain was even expecting to claim damages for wrongful detention. While this was being discussed, another ship arrived in port that had been closely following the chase. They had caught a shark, and inside its stomach, they found a tin box containing the slaver’s papers. Based on this evidence, the slaver was condemned. A written account of the incident is attached to the box.
A. B. was present while some “tricks in cards” were being exhibited by a professional juggler. He took a fresh pack of cards, and directed the company to take out a card from the pack, to replace it, and shuffle the pack. This being done, A. B. took the pack in his hand and carelessly tossed on the table a card, which proved to be the correct one. The professor, in the utmost surprise and admiration, offered to give A. B. three of his best tricks if he would give him the secret of the trick which he had just exhibited. A. B. coolly declined the offer, and concealed the fact that it was all chance, in the purest sense of the word, that led to the selection of the proper card from the pack.
A. B. was there while a professional juggler was showing off some "card tricks." He took a new deck of cards and asked the audience to pick a card, put it back, and shuffle the deck. Once that was done, A. B. took the deck in his hand and casually tossed a card onto the table, which turned out to be the correct one. The professor, completely surprised and impressed, offered to show A. B. three of his best tricks if he would share the secret behind the trick he just performed. A. B. calmly declined the offer and kept the fact hidden that it was all pure chance that led to the right card being chosen from the deck.
Upon the death of a seaman, some money became payable to his widow, Elizabeth Smith, No. 20 (of a certain, say “King”) Street, Wapping. The government agent called at No. 20 King Street, and finding that Elizabeth Smith lived there, paid the money without further inquiry. Subsequently the true widow, Elizabeth Smith, turned up; and it was then 414discovered that, at the very time the money was paid, the street was being re-numbered, and there were two houses numbered 20; and what was most remarkable, there was an Elizabeth Smith living in each of them.
Upon the death of a seaman, some money became due to his widow, Elizabeth Smith, who lived at 20 King Street, Wapping. The government agent went to 20 King Street, confirmed that Elizabeth Smith lived there, and paid the money without asking any further questions. Later, the real widow, Elizabeth Smith, showed up; and then it was discovered that, at the exact time the money was paid, the street was being renumbered, resulting in two houses both numbered 20. What was even more surprising was that there was an Elizabeth Smith living in each of them. 414
Some time in the last century, a Mrs. Stephens professed to have received from her husband a medicine for dissolving “the stone in the bladder,” and offered to sell it to government. In order to test the virtue of this medicine, a patient was selected who had undeniably the complaint in question. He took the medicine, and was soon quite well. The doctors watched him anxiously, and when he died, many years after, he was seized by them, and the body examined. It was then discovered that the stone had made for itself a little sac in the bladder, and was so tightly secured that it had never caused any inconvenience.
Some time in the last century, a Mrs. Stephens claimed to have received a medicine from her husband that could dissolve “the stone in the bladder,” and she offered to sell it to the government. To test this medicine's effectiveness, a patient with the diagnosed condition was chosen. He took the medicine and soon felt completely better. The doctors monitored him closely, and when he died many years later, they took possession of the body and examined it. They found that the stone had formed a small sac in the bladder, and it was so securely lodged that it had never caused him any problems.
Government, however, (somewhat prematurely,) rewarded Mrs. Stephens with a sum of £10,000. The cure appeared to have been purely accidental, as the remedy was nothing but potash, which has little or no virtue in such cases.
Government, however, (somewhat prematurely) rewarded Mrs. Stephens with a payment of £10,000. The cure seemed to have been purely accidental, as the remedy was just potash, which has little or no effectiveness in such cases.
A gentleman of fortune, named Angerstein, lost a large quantity of valuable plate. His butler was soon on the track of the thieves, (who had brought a coach to carry the plate), and enquired at the first turnpike gate whether any vehicle had lately passed. The gate-keeper stated that a hackney-coach had shortly before gone through; and though he was surprised at its passing by so early in the morning, he had not noticed the “number” on the coach. A servant girl, hearing the conversation, volunteered her statement, that she saw the coach pass by, and its number was “45.” As the girl could not read, they were surprised at her knowing the “number.” She stated that she knew it well, as being the same number she had long seen about the walls everywhere, which she knew was “45,” as every one was speaking of it. This allusion of the girl’s was in reference to the “Wilkes” disturbances, when 415the 45th number of the True Briton was prosecuted, and caused a great deal of public excitement. Mr. Angerstein’s butler went at once to London and found out the driver of the hackney-coach No. 45, who at once drove him to the place where the plate was deposited, and it was all recovered.
A wealthy man named Angerstein lost a large amount of valuable silverware. His butler quickly picked up the trail of the thieves, who had brought a coach to carry the silver. He asked at the first toll booth whether any vehicle had passed recently. The toll booth operator said a hackney coach had gone through not long before; even though he was surprised it had come by so early in the morning, he hadn’t noticed the coach’s number. A maid, overhearing the conversation, chimed in that she had seen the coach and its number was “45.” Since the girl couldn’t read, they were surprised she knew the “number.” She explained that she recognized it because it was the same number she had seen everywhere on the walls, which she knew was “45,” since everyone was talking about it. The girl’s remark referred to the “Wilkes” disturbances, when the 45th number of the True Briton was prosecuted, causing a lot of public uproar. Mr. Angerstein’s butler immediately went to London and found the driver of the hackney coach No. 45, who then took him to where the silverware was hidden, and it was all recovered.
Some years since, in the “Temple,” was a vertical sun-dial, with the motto, “Be gone about your business.” It is stated that this very appropriate motto was the result of the following blunder:—When the dial was erected, the benchers were applied to for a motto. They desired the “builder’s man” to call at the library at a certain hour on a certain day, when he should receive instructions. But they forgot the whole matter. On the appointed day and hour the “builder’s man” called at the library, and found only a lawyer in close study over a law book. The man stated the cause of his intrusion, which suited so badly the lawyer’s time and leisure that he bid the man sharply “Be gone about your business.” The lawyer’s testy reply was duly painted in big letters upon the dial, and was considered so apposite that it was not only allowed to remain, but was considered to be as appropriate a motto as could be chosen.
Some years ago, in the “Temple,” there was a vertical sundial with the motto, “Be gone about your business.” It’s said that this fitting motto came about because of a mistake: When the dial was put up, the benchers were asked for a motto. They wanted the “builder’s man” to visit the library at a specific time on a specific day to get instructions. However, they completely forgot about it. On the scheduled day and time, the “builder’s man” showed up at the library and only found a lawyer deeply engrossed in a law book. The man explained why he was there, which interrupted the lawyer so much that he brusquely told the man, “Be gone about your business.” The lawyer’s irritated response was painted in large letters on the dial, and it was considered so fitting that it not only stayed but was thought to be the most appropriate motto they could have chosen.
Two men in France took shelter in a barn for the night. In the morning one of them was found dead, with severe injury to the head. The comrade was at once arrested, and told some “cock-and-bull” story about the terrible storm of the night in question, and attributed his companion’s death to the effect of a thunderbolt. He was not credited: and was in a fair way to be executed for the supposed crime. A scientific gentleman, hearing of the circumstance, examined the place, and found a hole in the roof of the barn, and an aërolite close to the spot where the deceased had slept on the night in question. The innocence of the accused was at once considered as established, and he was released.
Two men in France took shelter in a barn for the night. In the morning, one of them was found dead with a serious head injury. The other man was immediately arrested and spun a ridiculous story about a terrible storm the previous night, claiming his friend’s death was caused by a lightning strike. No one believed him, and he was on the verge of being executed for the supposed crime. A scientist, hearing about the situation, examined the barn and discovered a hole in the roof and a meteorite near where the deceased had slept that night. The accused's innocence was quickly established, and he was set free.
Now, even in these cases, there is nothing supernatural, or
even unnatural; i.e., there is nothing to prevent the occurrence.
416The improbability is only from the enormous number of chances
against each. But when any German theologian, or other, pretends
to explain a series of alleged miracles as mere accidents,
he should be reminded that the chances are multiplied against
each repeated occurrence. If, e.g., the chances against a person’s
bagging a snipe, which died accidentally just as he pointed a
stick or a gun at it, be only 1
1000, then, against his thus obtaining
two, the chances would be 1
1000000, and so on. No
one familiar with what is sometimes called the Doctrine of
Chances but more correctly called the Theory of Probabilities,
would believe that a sportsman could bring home a bag full of
game, every bird having died accidentally just when shot at.
Now, even in these cases, there is nothing supernatural or even unnatural; in other words, there is nothing to prevent the occurrence.
416 The improbability comes solely from the huge number of chances stacked against each one. But when any German theologian or anyone else claims to explain a series of supposed miracles as mere accidents, they should be reminded that the odds are multiplied against each repeated occurrence. For example, if the odds against a person bagging a snipe that died accidentally just as they aimed a stick or a gun at it are only 1
1000, then the odds against them getting two would be 1
1,000,000, and so on. No one familiar with what is sometimes called the Doctrine of Chances but more accurately called the Theory of Probabilities would believe that a sportsman could come home with a bag full of game, with every bird having died accidentally just when shot at.
CHICK IN THE EGG.
The hen has scarcely sat on the egg twelve hours, when we begin already to discover in it some lineaments of the head and body of the chicken that is to be born. The heart appears to beat at the end of the day; at the end of forty-eight hours, two vesicles of blood can be distinguished, the pulsation of which is very visible. At the fiftieth hour, an auricle of the heart appears, and resembles a lace, or noose folded down upon itself. At the end of seventy hours, we distinguish wings, and on the head two bubbles for the brain; one for the bill, and two others for the forepart and hindpart of the head; the liver appears towards the fifth day. At the end of one hundred and thirty-one hours, the first voluntary motion is observed. At the end of one hundred and thirty-eight hours the lungs and stomach become visible; at the end of one hundred and forty-two, the intestines, the loins, and the upper jaw. The seventh day, the brain, which was slimy, begins to have some consistence. At the 190th hour of incubation, the bill opens, and the flesh appears in the breast. At the 194th, the sternum is seen, that is to say, the breastbone. At the 210th, the ribs come out of the back, the bill is very visible, as well as the gall-bladder. 417The bill becomes green at the end of two hundred and thirty-six hours; and if the chick is taken out of its covering, it evidently moves itself. The feathers begin to shoot out towards the 240th hour, and the skull becomes gristly. At the 264th, the eyes appear. At the 288th, the ribs are perfect. At the 331st, the spleen draws near to the stomach, and the lungs to the chest. At the end of three hundred and fifty-five hours, the bill frequently opens and shuts; and at the end of four hundred and fifty-one hours, or the eighteenth day, the first cry of the chick is already heard: it afterwards gets more strength, and grows continually, till at last it sets itself at liberty, by opening the prison in which it was shut up. Thus is it by so many different degrees that these creatures are brought into life. All these progressions are made by rule, and there is not one of them without sufficient reason. No part of its body could appear sooner or later without the whole embryo suffering; and each of its limbs appears at the proper moment. How manifestly is this ordination—so wise, and so invariable in the production of the animal—the work of a Supreme Being!
The hen has barely been sitting on the egg for twelve hours when we can start to see some features of the head and body of the chick that’s about to hatch. By the end of the first day, the heart begins to beat; after forty-eight hours, two blood vesicles can be identified, and their pulsation is quite visible. At fifty hours, an atrium of the heart forms, looking like a lace or a noose folded in on itself. After seventy hours, we can make out wings, and two bubbles for the brain on the head, one for the bill, and two more for the front and back of the head; the liver starts to develop by the fifth day. At one hundred and thirty-one hours, the first voluntary movements are seen. By one hundred and thirty-eight hours, the lungs and stomach become visible, and at one hundred and forty-two, the intestines, lower back, and upper jaw form. On the seventh day, the brain, which was initially liquid, begins to solidify. At the 190th hour of incubation, the bill starts to open, and flesh appears in the breast. At the 194th hour, the breastbone, or sternum, can be seen. At the 210th hour, the ribs emerge from the back, and the bill and gallbladder are clearly visible. At two hundred and thirty-six hours, the bill turns green, and if the chick is removed from its shell, it moves on its own. Feathers begin to grow around the 240th hour, and the skull starts to harden. By the 264th hour, the eyes appear. At the 288th hour, the ribs are fully formed. At the 331st hour, the spleen aligns with the stomach, and the lungs are positioned near the chest. After three hundred and fifty-five hours, the bill frequently opens and closes; by four hundred and fifty-one hours, or the eighteenth day, the first sounds of the chick are heard. It continues to gain strength and grows until it finally frees itself by breaking out of its shell. Thus, it is through these various stages that these creatures come to life. All these developments occur systematically, and each step has a clear reason. No part of the body could form earlier or later without affecting the entire embryo, and each limb appears at the right time. How clear it is that this orderly and consistent process of creating life is the work of a Supreme Being!
INNATE APPETITE.
McKenzie, in his Phrenological Essays, mentions the following curious fact, witnessed by Sir James Hall. He had been engaged in making some experiments on hatching eggs by artificial heat, and on one occasion observed in one of his boxes a chicken in the act of breaking from its confinement. It happened that just as the creature was getting out of the shell, a spider began to run along the box, when the chicken darted forward, seized and swallowed it.
McKenzie, in his Phrenological Essays, mentions a fascinating fact witnessed by Sir James Hall. He was conducting experiments on hatching eggs with artificial heat when he noticed a chicken trying to break free from its shell. Just as the chicken was emerging, a spider scurried across the box, and the chicken quickly lunged forward, catching and swallowing it.
THE INDIAN AND HIS TAMED SNAKE.
An Indian had tamed a blacksnake, which he kept about him during the summer months. In autumn he let the creature go whither it chose to crawl, but told it to come to him again upon a certain day, which he named, in the spring. A white man who was present, and saw what was done, and heard 418the Indian affirm that the serpent would return to him the very day he had appointed, had no faith in the truth of his prediction. The next spring, however, retaining the day in his memory, curiosity led him to the place, where he found the Indian in waiting; and, after remaining with him about two hours, the serpent came crawling back, and put himself under the care of his old master.
An Indian had tamed a black snake, which he kept with him during the summer months. In the autumn, he set the creature free to go wherever it wanted, but told it to return to him on a specific day in the spring. A white man who was present, saw what happened, and heard the Indian say that the snake would come back on that exact day, didn't believe his prediction. The next spring, however, remembering the day, curiosity led him to the spot, where he found the Indian waiting. After spending about two hours with him, the snake returned, crawling back and settling under the care of its old master.
In this case, the Indian had probably observed that blacksnakes usually return to their old haunts at the same vernal season; and as he had tamed, fed, and kept this snake in a particular place, experience taught him that it would return on a certain day.
In this situation, the Indian had likely noticed that blacksnakes typically come back to their old spots during the same spring season; and since he had trained, fed, and kept this snake in a specific location, past experience showed him that it would come back on a certain day.
ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert that previously to an alligator going in search of prey it always swallows a large stone, that it may acquire additional weight to aid it in diving and dragging its victims under water. A traveller being somewhat incredulous on this point, Bolivar, to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all of them were found stones varying in weight according to the size of the animal. The largest killed was about seventeen feet in length, and had within him a stone weighing about sixty or seventy pounds.
The Indigenous people along the Orinoco River claim that before an alligator goes hunting, it always swallows a big stone to gain extra weight, which helps it dive and pull its prey underwater. A skeptical traveler questioned this, so Bolivar shot several alligators with his rifle to prove him wrong, and found stones inside each one, varying in weight according to the size of the animal. The largest one killed was about seventeen feet long and had a stone inside it weighing around sixty or seventy pounds.
HABITS OF SHEEP.
Dr. Anderson, of Liverpool, relates the following amusing illustration of the singularly persevering disposition of sheep to follow their leader wherever he goes:—
Dr. Anderson, from Liverpool, shares this funny example of how stubbornly sheep stick to their leader no matter where he goes:—
419A butcher’s boy was driving about twenty fat wethers through the town, but they ran down a street where he did not want them to go. He observed a scavenger at work, and called out loudly for him to stop the sheep. The man accordingly did what he could to turn them back, running from side to side, always opposing himself to their passage, and brandishing his broom with great dexterity; but the sheep, much agitated, pressed forward, and at last one of them came right up to the man, who, fearing it was going to jump over his head, whilst he was stooping, grasped the broom with both hands and held it over his head. He stood for a few seconds in this position, when the sheep made a spring and jumped fairly over him, without touching the broom. The first had no sooner cleared this impediment than another followed, and another, in quick succession, so that the man, perfectly confounded, seemed to lose all recollection, and stood in the same attitude till the whole of them had jumped over him, and not one attempted to pass on either side, although the street was quite clear.
419A butcher's boy was driving about twenty fat sheep through the town, but they ran down a street he didn’t want them to go. He spotted a garbage collector working and yelled for him to stop the sheep. The man did his best to turn them back, darting from side to side, always blocking their path while swinging his broom skillfully. But the sheep, very agitated, kept pushing forward, and eventually one of them came right up to the man. Fearing it would jump over him while he was bent down, he grabbed the broom with both hands and held it over his head. He stood like that for a few seconds when the sheep sprang and leaped clean over him, without touching the broom. As soon as the first one cleared the broom, another followed, and then another, in quick succession. The man, completely bewildered, seemed to forget everything and maintained that pose until all of them had jumped over him, with none trying to pass on either side, even though the street was totally clear.
REMARKABLE EQUESTRIAN EXPEDITIONS.
Mr. Cooper Thornhill, an innkeeper at Stilton, in Huntingdonshire, rode from that place to London and back again, and also a second time to London, in one day,—which made a journey in all of two hundred and thirteen miles. He undertook to ride this journey with several horses in fifteen hours, but performed it in twelve hours and a quarter. This remarkable feat gave rise to a poem called the Stilton Hero, which was published in the year 1745.
Mr. Cooper Thornhill, an innkeeper in Stilton, Huntingdonshire, rode from there to London and back, and then made a second trip to London, all in one day—totaling a journey of two hundred and thirteen miles. He intended to complete this ride using several horses in fifteen hours but finished it in twelve hours and fifteen minutes. This impressive achievement inspired a poem titled the Stilton Hero, published in 1745.
Some years ago, Lord James Cavendish rode from Hyde Park Corner to Windsor Lodge, which is upwards of twenty miles, in less than an hour.
Some years ago, Lord James Cavendish rode from Hyde Park Corner to Windsor Lodge, which is over twenty miles, in under an hour.
Sir Robert Cary rode nearly three hundred miles in less than three days, when he went from London to Edinburgh to inform King James of the death of Queen Elizabeth. He had several falls and sore bruises on the road, which occasioned his going battered and bloody into the royal presence.
Sir Robert Cary rode almost three hundred miles in under three days when he traveled from London to Edinburgh to inform King James of Queen Elizabeth's death. He had several falls and ended up with painful bruises on the way, which left him battered and bloody when he appeared before the king.
420On the 29th of August, 1750, was decided at Newmarket a remarkable wager for one thousand guineas, laid by Theobald Taaf, Esq., against the Earl of March and Lord Eglinton, who were to provide a four-wheel carriage with a man in it, to be drawn by four horses nineteen miles in an hour. The match was performed in fifty-three minutes and twenty-four seconds. An engraved model of the carriage was formerly sold in the print-shops.
420On August 29, 1750, a notable bet for one thousand guineas was settled at Newmarket, placed by Theobald Taaf, Esq., against the Earl of March and Lord Eglinton. They had to supply a four-wheeled carriage with a person inside, to be pulled by four horses at a speed of nineteen miles per hour. The event took place in fifty-three minutes and twenty-four seconds. An engraved model of the carriage used to be sold in print shops.
The Marquis de la Fayette rode in August, 1778, from Rhode Island to Boston, nearly seventy miles distant, in seven hours, and returned in six and a half.
The Marquis de la Fayette rode in August 1778 from Rhode Island to Boston, almost seventy miles away, in seven hours, and came back in six and a half.
Mr. Fozard, of Park Lane, London, for a wager of one hundred and fifty pounds against one hundred pounds, undertook to ride forty miles in two hours, over Epsom course. He rode two miles more than had been agreed on, and performed it in five minutes under time, in October, 1789.
Mr. Fozard, from Park Lane, London, took a bet of one hundred fifty pounds against one hundred pounds, promising to ride forty miles in two hours, along the Epsom course. He actually rode two miles more than what was agreed upon and completed it five minutes ahead of schedule, in October 1789.
Mr. Wilde, an Irish gentleman, lately rode one hundred and twenty-seven miles on the course of Kildare, in Ireland, in six hours and twenty minutes, for a wager of one thousand guineas.
Mr. Wilde, an Irish gentleman, recently rode one hundred and twenty-seven miles on the Kildare course in Ireland, in six hours and twenty minutes, for a bet of one thousand guineas.
The famous Count de Montgomery escaped from the massacre of Paris in 1572, through the swiftness of his horse, which, according to a manuscript of that time, carried him ninety miles without halting.
The famous Count de Montgomery escaped from the Paris massacre in 1572 thanks to his horse's speed, which, according to a manuscript from that time, carried him ninety miles nonstop.
WONDERFUL HORSE.
In the year 1609, an Englishman named Banks had a horse which he had trained to follow him wherever he went, even over fences and to the roofs of buildings. He and his horse went to the top of that immensely high structure, St. Paul’s Church. After many extraordinary performances at home, the horse and his master went to Rome, where they performed feats equally astonishing. But the result was that both Banks and his horse were burned, by order of the Pope, as enchanters. Sir Walter Raleigh observes, that had Banks lived in olden times, he would have shamed all the enchanters of the world, for no beast ever performed such wonders as his.
In 1609, an Englishman named Banks had a horse that he trained to follow him wherever he went, even over fences and onto rooftops. He and his horse made it to the top of the very tall St. Paul’s Church. After many impressive performances at home, the horse and his master traveled to Rome, where they did equally amazing tricks. Sadly, both Banks and his horse were burned at the stake, ordered by the Pope, for being sorcerers. Sir Walter Raleigh noted that if Banks had lived in ancient times, he would have outshined all the sorcerers in the world because no animal had ever done such incredible things as his.
421Fortunately, for men like Thorne, and Rice, and Franconi, who have been so successful in training the noblest animal in creation for the stage-representations of Mazeppa, Putnam’s Leap, &c., and for the various and fantastic tricks which have won so much admiration and applause, the present age is not disgraced by such besotted ignorance and superstition.
421Fortunately, for men like Thorne, Rice, and Franconi, who have been so successful in training the most magnificent animal in existence for stage performances of Mazeppa, Putnam’s Leap, and other shows, as well as for the various amazing tricks that have earned so much admiration and applause, this era is not marked by such foolish ignorance and superstition.
WONDERFUL LOCK.
Among the wonderful products of art in the French Crystal Palace was shown a lock which admits of 3,674,385 combinations. Heuret passed a hundred and twenty nights in locking it, and Fichet was four months in unlocking it; now they can neither shut nor open it.
Among the amazing creations displayed in the French Crystal Palace was a lock that offers 3,674,385 combinations. Heuret spent one hundred and twenty nights locking it, and Fichet took four months to unlock it; now they can't either lock or unlock it.
CELERITY OF CLOTH-MANUFACTURE.
Many accounts have been published of the celerity with which manufacturers of cloth, both English and American, have completed the various parts of the process, from the fleece to the garment. In England the fleece was taken from the sheep, manufactured into cloth, and the cloth made into a coat, in the short space of thirteen hours and twenty minutes. Messrs. Buck, Brewster & Co., proprietors of the Ontario manufactory at Manchester, Vermont, on perusing an account of this English achievement, conceived, from the perfection of their machinery and the dexterity of their workmen, that the same operations might be accomplished even in a shorter time. A wager of five hundred dollars was offered, and accepted, that they would perform the same operations in twelve hours. The wool was taken from the sack in its natural state, and in nine hours and fifteen minutes precisely, the coat was completed, and worn in triumph by one of the party concerned. The wool was picked, greased, carded, roped, and spun,—the yarn was worked, put into the loom and woven,—the cloth was fulled, colored, and four times shorn, pressed, and carried to the tailor’s, and the coat completed,—all within the time above stated. The cloth was not of the finest texture, but was very handsomely 422dressed, and fitted the person who wore it remarkably well. The only difference between this and the English experiment was the time occupied in shearing the fleece; and any wool-grower knows that this part of the operation may be performed in ten minutes.
Many reports have been published about how quickly cloth manufacturers, both in England and America, have completed the entire process, from fleece to finished garment. In England, the fleece was taken from the sheep, turned into cloth, and then made into a coat in just thirteen hours and twenty minutes. Messrs. Buck, Brewster & Co., who owned the Ontario factory in Manchester, Vermont, upon reading about this English accomplishment, believed that with their advanced machinery and skilled workers, they could complete the same tasks even faster. They placed a bet of five hundred dollars, which was accepted, that they could achieve the same results in twelve hours. The raw wool was taken from the sack, and in exactly nine hours and fifteen minutes, the coat was finished and proudly worn by one of the participants. The wool was picked, greased, carded, roped, and spun—the yarn was woven in the loom—the cloth was fulled, dyed, and shorn four times, pressed, and then delivered to the tailor, where the coat was completed—all within the specified time. The cloth wasn’t the finest quality but was very well-made and fitted the wearer perfectly. The only difference between this and the English experiment was the time taken for shearing the fleece; any wool-grower knows this part of the process can be done in ten minutes.
CRUDE VALUE versus INDUSTRIAL VALUE.
Algarotti, in his Opuscula, gives the following example to show the prodigious addition of value that may be given to an object by skill and industry. A pound weight of pig-iron costs the operative manufacturer about five cents. This is worked up into steel, of which is made the little spiral spring that moves the balance-wheel of a watch. Each of these springs weighs but the tenth part of a grain, and, when completed, may be sold as high as $3.00, so that out of a pound of iron, allowing something for the loss of metal, eighty thousand of these springs may be made, and a substance worth but five cents be wrought into a value of $240,000.
Algarotti, in his Opuscula, provides the following example to illustrate the remarkable increase in value that can be achieved through skill and hard work. A pound of pig iron costs the manufacturer about five cents. This is transformed into steel, which is then made into the tiny spiral spring that powers the balance wheel of a watch. Each of these springs weighs only a tenth of a grain and can be sold for as much as $3.00. Therefore, from a pound of iron, accounting for some metal loss, up to eighty thousand of these springs can be produced, turning a material worth just five cents into a value of $240,000.
An American gentleman says, that during a recent visit to Manchester, England, a pound of cotton, which in its crude state may have been worth eight cents, was pointed out to him as worth a pound of gold. It had been spun into a thread that would go round the globe at the equator and tie in a good large knot of many hundred miles in length.
An American gentleman says that during a recent trip to Manchester, England, a pound of cotton, which in its raw form might have been worth eight cents, was shown to him as being worth a pound of gold. It had been spun into a thread that could wrap around the globe at the equator and tie a massive knot stretching hundreds of miles.
QUANTITY AND VALUE.
When emeralds were first discovered in America, a Spaniard carried one to a lapidary in Italy, and asked him what it was worth; he was told a hundred escudos. He produced a second, which was larger; and that was valued at three hundred. Overjoyed at this, he took the lapidary to his lodging and showed him a chest full; but the Italian, seeing so many, damped his joy by saying, “Ah ha, Señor! so many!—these are worth one escudo.”
When emeralds were first found in America, a Spanish man took one to a gem cutter in Italy and asked how much it was worth. He was told it was worth a hundred escudos. He then brought out a second, larger one, which was valued at three hundred. Thrilled by this, he took the gem cutter to his place and showed him a chest full of emeralds; however, the Italian, seeing so many, dampened his excitement by saying, “Ah ha, Mister! So many!—these are worth one shield.”
423Montenegro presented to the elder Almagro the first cat which was brought to South America, and was rewarded for it with six hundred pesos. The first couple of cats which were carried to Cuyaba sold for a pound of gold. There was a plague of rats in the settlement, and they were purchased as a speculation, which proved an excellent one. Their first kittens produced thirty oitavas each; the next generation were worth twenty; and the price gradually fell as the inhabitants were stocked with these beautiful and useful creatures.
423Montenegro presented the elder Almagro with the first cat brought to South America and was rewarded with six hundred pesos. The first pair of cats sent to Cuyaba sold for a pound of gold. There was a rat infestation in the settlement, and they were bought as an investment, which turned out to be a great decision. Their first kittens sold for thirty eighths each; the next generation was worth twenty; and the price gradually decreased as the residents became stocked with these beautiful and useful animals.
AMOUNT OF GOLD IN THE WORLD.
Estimate the yard of gold at £2,000,000, (which it is in round numbers,) and all the gold in the world might, if melted into ingots, be contained in a cellar twenty-four feet square and sixteen feet high. All the boasted wealth already obtained from California and Australia would go into a safe nine feet square and nine feet high; so small is the cube of yellow metal that has set populations on the march and occasioned such wondrous revolutions in the affairs of the world.
Estimate the amount of gold at £2,000,000 (which is roughly accurate), and all the gold in the world could, if melted down into ingots, fit in a cellar that’s twenty-four feet square and sixteen feet high. The total wealth already gained from California and Australia would fit into a safe that’s just nine feet square and nine feet high; such a small volume of yellow metal has caused people to move and led to incredible changes in global affairs.
The contributions of the people, in the time of David, for the sanctuary, exceeded £6,800,000. The immense treasure David is said to have collected for the sanctuary amounted to £889,000,000 sterling, (Crito says £798,000,000,)—a sum greater than the British national debt. The gold with which Solomon overlaid the “most holy place,” a room only thirteen feet square, amounted to more than thirty-eight millions sterling.
The contributions from the people during David's time for the sanctuary totaled over £6,800,000. The vast treasure that David reportedly gathered for the sanctuary reached £889,000,000 sterling (Crito mentions £798,000,000)—an amount greater than the British national debt. The gold that Solomon used to cover the “most holy place,” a room just thirteen feet square, was more than thirty-eight million sterling.
The products of the California mines from 1853 to 1858 are put down at $443,091,000; those of Australia, since their discovery, at $296,813,000; or $739,904,000 in all,—an increase of about one-third, according to the best statistical writers, on the value of this precious metal known in 1850. The total value of gold in the world at the present time, then, is but little more than $3,000,000,000.
The products of the California mines from 1853 to 1858 are recorded at $443,091,000; those from Australia, since their discovery, at $296,813,000; totaling $739,904,000 overall—an increase of about one-third, according to the most reliable statistical sources, compared to the value of this precious metal known in 1850. The total value of gold in the world today is just over $3,000,000,000.
IMMENSE WEALTH OF THE ROMANS.
Crassus’ landed estate was valued at | $8,333,330 |
His house was valued at | 400,000 |
Cæcilius Isidorus, after having lost much, left | 5,235,800 |
Demetrius, a freedman of Pompey, was worth | 3,875,000 |
Lentulus, the augur, no less than | 16,666,666 |
Clodius, who was slain by Milo, paid for his house | 616,666 |
He once swallowed a pearl worth | 40,000 |
Apicius was worth more than | 4,583,350 |
And after he had spent in his kitchen, and otherwise squandered, immense sums, to the amount of | 4,166,666 |
He poisoned himself, leaving | 416,666 |
The establishment belonging to M. Scarus, and burned at Tusculum, was valued at | 4,150,000 |
Gifts and bribes may be considered signs of great riches: Cæsar presented Servilia, the mother of Brutus, with a pearl worth | 200,000 |
Paulus, the consul, was bribed by Cæsar with the sum of | 292,000 |
Curio contracted debts to the amount of | 2,500,000 |
Milo contracted a debt of | 2,915,666 |
Antony owed at the Ides of March, which he paid before the Calends of April | 1,666,666 |
He had squandered altogether | 735,000,000 |
Seneca had a fortune of | 17,500,000 |
Tiberius left at his death, and Caligula spent in less than twelve months, | 118,120,000 |
Caligula spent for one supper | 150,000 |
Heliogabalus in the same manner | 100,000 |
The suppers of Lucullus at the Apollo cost | 8,330 |
Horace says that Pegellus, a singer, could in five days spend | 40,000 |
Herrius’ fish-ponds sold for | 166,000 |
Calvinus Labinus purchased many learned slaves, none of them at a price less than | 4,165 |
Stage-players sold much higher. |
WINE AT TWO MILLIONS A BOTTLE.
Wine at two millions of dollars a bottle is a drink that in expense would rival the luxurious taste of barbaric splendor, when priceless pearls were thrown into the wine-cup to give a rich flavor to its contents; yet that there is such a costly beverage, is a fixed fact. In the Rose apartment (so called from a bronze bas-relief) of the ancient cellar under the Hotel de Ville in the city of Bremen is the famous Rosenwein, deposited there nearly two centuries and a half ago. There were twelve large cases, each bearing the name of one of the apostles; and the wine of Judas, despite the reprobation attached to his name, is to this day more highly esteemed than the others. One case of the wine, containing five oxhoft of two hundred and four bottles, cost five hundred rix-dollars in 1624. Including the expenses of keeping up the cellar, and of the contributions, interests of the amounts, and interests upon interests, an oxhoft costs at the present time 555,657,640 rix-dollars, and consequently a bottle is worth 2,723,812 rix-dollars; a glass, or the eighth part of a bottle, is worth 340,476 rix-dollars, or $272,380; or at the rate of 540 rix-dollars, or $272, per drop. A burgomaster of Bremen is privileged to have one bottle whenever he entertains a distinguished guest who enjoys a German or European reputation. The fact illustrates the operation of interest, if it does not show the cost of luxury.
Wine at two million dollars a bottle is a drink that, in terms of expense, would compete with the extravagant taste of ancient luxury, when priceless pearls were tossed into wine goblets to enhance their flavor; yet, the existence of such an expensive beverage is a certainty. In the Rose apartment (named after a bronze bas-relief) of the old cellar beneath the Hotel de Ville in Bremen, you’ll find the famous Rosenwein, stored there nearly two and a half centuries ago. There were twelve large cases, each named after one of the apostles; and despite the negative connotations associated with his name, the wine of Judas is still regarded more highly than the others. One case of the wine, containing five oxhoft of 204 bottles, cost 500 rix-dollars in 1624. Considering the expenses of maintaining the cellar, along with contributions and interest on those amounts, an oxhoft now costs 555,657,640 rix-dollars, making a bottle worth 2,723,812 rix-dollars; a glass, which is an eighth of a bottle, is worth 340,476 rix-dollars or $272,380, translating to 540 rix-dollars or $272 per drop. A burgomaster of Bremen has the right to open one bottle whenever hosting a distinguished guest renowned in Germany or Europe. This illustrates the power of interest, if not the price of luxury.
CAPACIOUS BEER-CASKS.
A few years before Mr. Thrale’s death, which happened in 1781, an emulation arose among the brewers to exceed each other in the size of their casks for keeping beer to a certain age,—probably, says Sir John Hawkins, taking the hint from the tun at Heidelberg, of which the following is a description:
A few years before Mr. Thrale’s death, which happened in 1781, there was a competition among the brewers to outdo each other in the size of their casks for aging beer—probably, as Sir John Hawkins suggests, inspired by the tun at Heidelberg, of which the following is a description:
At Heidelberg, on the river Neckar, near its junction with the Rhine, in Germany, there was a tun or wine-vessel constructed in 1343, which contained twenty-one pipes. Another 426was made, or the one now mentioned rebuilt, in 1664, which held six hundred hogsheads, English measure. This was emptied, and knocked to pieces by the French, in 1688. But a new and larger one was afterwards fabricated, which held eight hundred hogsheads. It was formerly kept full of the best Rhenish wine, and the Electors have given many entertainments on its platform; but this convivial monument of ancient hospitality is now, says Mr. Walker, but a melancholy, unsocial, solitary instance of the extinction of hospitality: it moulders in a damp vault, quite empty.
At Heidelberg, on the Neckar River, close to where it meets the Rhine in Germany, there was a wine vessel built in 1343 that had twenty-one pipes. Another one was made, or the previous one was rebuilt, in 1664, which held six hundred hogsheads in English measurement. This was emptied and destroyed by the French in 1688. But later, a new and larger one was created that could hold eight hundred hogsheads. It used to be filled with the finest Rhenish wine, and the Electors hosted many events on its platform; however, this once-great symbol of ancient hospitality is now, according to Mr. Walker, a sad, lonely reminder of the disappearance of hospitality: it decays in a damp vault, completely empty.
The celebrated tun at Königstein is said to be the most capacious cask in the world,—holding 1,869,236 pints. The top is railed in, and it affords room for twenty people to regale themselves. There are also several kinds of welcome-cups, which are offered to strangers, who are invited by a Latin inscription to drink to the prosperity of the whole universe. This enormous tun was built in 1725, by Frederick Augustus, King of Poland and Elector of Saxony, who, in the inscription just mentioned, is styled “the father of his country, the Titus of his age, and the delight of mankind.”
The famous tun at Königstein is said to be the largest cask in the world, holding 1,869,236 pints. The top is fenced in and can accommodate twenty people to enjoy themselves. There are also several types of welcome cups offered to guests, who are invited by a Latin inscription to drink to the prosperity of the entire universe. This massive tun was built in 1725 by Frederick Augustus, King of Poland and Elector of Saxony, who is referred to in the aforementioned inscription as “the father of his country, the Titus of his time, and the joy of humankind.”
Dr. Johnson once mentioned that his friend Thrale had four casks so large that each of them held one thousand hogsheads. But Mr. Meux, of Liquorpond Street, Gray’s Inn Lane, could, according to Mr. Pennant, show twenty-four vessels containing in all thirty-five thousand barrels: one alone held four thousand five hundred barrels; and in the year 1790 this enterprising brewer built another, containing nearly twelve thousand barrels, valued at about £20,000. A dinner was given to two hundred people at the bottom of it, and two hundred more joined the company to drink success to this unrivalled vat.
Dr. Johnson once noted that his friend Thrale had four casks so large that each held one thousand hogsheads. But according to Mr. Pennant, Mr. Meux from Liquorpond Street, Gray’s Inn Lane, could show twenty-four vessels holding a total of thirty-five thousand barrels: one alone held four thousand five hundred barrels; and in 1790, this enterprising brewer built another that could hold nearly twelve thousand barrels, valued at about £20,000. A dinner was hosted for two hundred people at the bottom of it, and two hundred more joined to toast the success of this unmatched vat.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ENGLISH POETS.
Chaucer describes men and things as they are; Shakspeare, as they would be under the circumstances supposed; Spenser, as we would wish them to be; Milton, as they ought to be; Byron, as they ought not to be; and Shelley, as they never can be.
Chaucer portrays men and things as they are; Shakespeare, as they would be in the given situations; Spenser, as we would wish them to be; Milton, as they ought to be; Byron, as they ought not to be; and Shelley, as they never can be.
PERILS OF PRECOCITY.
Baillet mentions one hundred and sixty-three children endowed with extraordinary talents, among whom few arrived at an advanced age. The two sons of Quintilian so vaunted by their father did not reach their tenth year. Hermogenes, who at the age of fifteen taught rhetoric to Marcus Aurelius, who triumphed over the most celebrated rhetoricians of Greece, did not die at an early age, but at twenty-four lost his faculties and forgot all he had previously acquired. Pico di Mirandola died at thirty-two; Johannus Secundus at twenty-five, having at the age of fifteen composed admirable Greek and Latin verses and become profoundly versed in jurisprudence and letters. Pascal, whose genius developed itself when ten years old, did not attain the third of a century. In 1791, a child was born at Lubeck, named Henri Heinneken, whose precocity was miraculous. At ten months of age he spoke distinctly, at twelve learned the Pentateuch by rote, and at fourteen months was perfectly acquainted with the Old and New Testament. At two years he was as familiar with geography and ancient history as the most erudite authors of antiquity. In the ancient and modern languages he was a proficient. This wonderful child was unfortunately carried off in his fourth year.
Baillet mentions one hundred and sixty-three children with extraordinary talents, but only a few lived to an old age. The two sons of Quintilian, whom their father praised highly, didn’t reach their tenth year. Hermogenes, who at fifteen taught rhetoric to Marcus Aurelius and excelled over the most famous rhetoricians in Greece, didn’t die young but lost his faculties at twenty-four and forgot everything he had learned. Pico di Mirandola died at thirty-two; Johannus Secundus at twenty-five, having written impressive Greek and Latin verses by fifteen and become deeply knowledgeable in law and literature. Pascal, whose genius emerged at ten years old, didn’t live to be thirty. In 1791, a child named Henri Heinneken was born in Lubeck, exhibiting miraculous precocity. By ten months, he could speak clearly; by twelve, he had memorized the Pentateuch, and by fourteen months, he knew the Old and New Testament perfectly. At two years, he was as familiar with geography and ancient history as the most knowledgeable authors of his time. He was proficient in ancient and modern languages. Sadly, this remarkable child passed away in his fourth year.
THE BLACK HOLE AT CALCUTTA.
This celebrated place of confinement was only eighteen feet by eighteen, containing, therefore, three hundred and twenty-four square feet. When Fort William was taken, in 1756, by Surajah Dowla, Nabob of Bengal, one hundred and forty-six persons were shut up in the Black Hole. The room allowed to each person a space of twenty-six and a half inches by twelve inches, which was just sufficient to hold them without their pressing violently on each other. To this dungeon there was but one small grated window, and, the weather being very sultry, the air within could neither circulate nor be changed. In less than an hour, many of the prisoners were attacked with extreme difficulty of breathing; several were delirious; and the place was 428filled with incoherent ravings, in which the cry for water was predominant. This was handed them by the sentinels, but without the effect of allaying their thirst. In less than four hours, many were suffocated, or died in violent delirium. In five hours, the survivors, except those at the grate, were frantic and outrageous. At length most of them became insensible. Eleven hours after they were imprisoned, twenty-three only, of the one hundred and forty-six, came out alive, and those were in a highly-putrid fever, from which, however, by fresh air and proper attention, they gradually recovered.
This infamous place of confinement was only eighteen feet by eighteen, which totals three hundred and twenty-four square feet. When Fort William was captured in 1756 by Surajah Dowla, the Nabob of Bengal, one hundred and forty-six people were locked in the Black Hole. Each person had a space of twenty-six and a half inches by twelve inches, just enough to keep them from pressing against each other. There was only one small grated window, and with the weather being very hot, the air inside couldn’t circulate or be refreshed. In less than an hour, many of the prisoners began to struggle to breathe; several were delirious, and the room was filled with frantic cries, with pleas for water being the most common. The sentinels handed them water, but it didn’t help to ease their thirst. Within four hours, many were suffocated or died from violent delirium. After five hours, the survivors, except for those near the grate, were frantic and uncontrollable. Eventually, most of them lost consciousness. Eleven hours after being imprisoned, only twenty-three out of the one hundred and forty-six emerged alive, and those were suffering from severe fever, but with fresh air and proper care, they slowly began to recover.
STONE BAROMETER.
A Finland newspaper mentions a stone in the northern part of Finland, which serves the inhabitants instead of a barometer. This stone, which they call Ilmakiur, turns black, or blackish gray, when it is going to rain, but on the approach of fine weather it is covered with white spots. Probably it is a fossil mixed with clay, and containing rock-salt, nitre, or ammonia, which, according to the greater or less degree of dampness of the atmosphere, attracts it, or otherwise. In the latter case the salt appears, forming the white spots.
A Finnish newspaper talks about a stone in northern Finland that the locals use as a substitute for a barometer. This stone, called Ilmakiur, turns black or dark gray when rain is approaching, but when good weather is on the way, it gets covered with white spots. It's likely a fossil mixed with clay that contains rock salt, saltpeter, or ammonia, which either attracts moisture or doesn't, depending on the humidity in the air. When it doesn’t attract moisture, the salt appears, creating the white spots.
BITTERNESS OF STRYCHNIA.
Strychnia, the active principle of the Nux Vomica bean, which has become so famous in the annals of criminal poisoning, is so intensely bitter that it will impart a sensibly bitter taste to six hundred thousand times its weight of water.
Strychnine, the active compound in the Nux Vomica bean, which has gained notoriety in the history of criminal poisoning, is so extremely bitter that it can give a noticeably bitter taste to six hundred thousand times its weight in water.
SALT, AS A LUXURY.
Mungo Park describes salt as “the greatest of all luxuries in Central Africa.” Says he, “It would appear strange to a European to see a child suck a piece of rock-salt, as if it were sugar. This, however, I have frequently seen; although in the inland parts the poorer class of inhabitants are so very rarely indulged with this precious article, that to say a man eats salt with his victuals is the same as saying that he is a 429rich man. I have myself suffered great inconvenience from the scarcity of this article. The long-continued use of vegetable food creates so painful a longing for salt, that no words can sufficiently describe it.”
Mungo Park describes salt as “the greatest of all luxuries in Central Africa.” He says, “It would seem odd to a European to see a child sucking on a piece of rock salt like it’s candy. I've seen this happen many times; however, in the inland areas, the poorer people hardly ever get to enjoy this valuable item, so saying a man eats salt with his food is like saying he’s wealthy. I myself have experienced great difficulty due to the lack of this item. The long-term reliance on plant-based food creates such an intense craving for salt that words can’t fully capture how it feels.”
SINGULAR CHANGE OF TASTE.
The sense by which we appreciate the sweetness of bodies is liable to singular modifications. Thus, the leaves of the Gymnema sylvestre,—a plant of Northern India,—when chewed, take away the power of tasting sugar for twenty-four hours, without otherwise injuring the general sense of taste.
The way we sense the sweetness of things can change in unique ways. For example, the leaves of the Gymnema sylvestre, a plant from Northern India, when chewed, can block the ability to taste sugar for twenty-four hours, without affecting the overall sense of taste.
BLUNDERS OF PAINTERS.
Tintoret, an Italian painter, in a picture of the Children of Israel gathering manna, has taken the precaution to arm them with the modern invention of guns. Cigoli painted the aged Simeon at the circumcision of the infant Saviour; and as aged men in these days wear spectacles, the artist has shown his sagacity by placing them on Simeon’s nose. In a picture by Verrio of Christ healing the sick, the lookers-on are represented as standing with periwigs on their heads. To match, or rather to exceed, this ludicrous representation, Durer has painted the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden by an angel in a dress fashionably trimmed with flounces. The same painter, in his scene of Peter denying Christ, represents a Roman soldier very comfortably smoking a pipe of tobacco. A Dutch painter, in a picture of the Wise Men worshipping the Holy Child, has drawn one of them in a large white surplice, and in boots and spurs, and he is in the act of presenting to the child a model of a Dutch man-of-war. In a Dutch picture of Abraham offering up his son, instead of the patriarch’s “stretching forth his hand and taking the knife,” as the Scriptures inform us, he is represented as using a more effectual and modern instrument: he is holding to Isaac’s head a blunderbuss. Berlin represents in a picture the Virgin and Child listening to a violin; and in another picture he has drawn King 430David playing the harp at the marriage of Christ with St. Catherine. A French artist has drawn, with true French taste, the Lord’s Supper, with the table ornamented with tumblers filled with cigar-lighters; and, as if to crown the list of these absurd and ludicrous anachronisms, the garden of Eden has been drawn with Adam and Eve in all their primeval simplicity and virtue, while near them, in full costume, is seen a hunter with a gun, shooting ducks.
Tintoretto, an Italian painter, depicts the Children of Israel gathering manna, but he’s added a modern twist by giving them guns. Cigoli painted the elderly Simeon at the circumcision of the infant Savior, and since old men these days wear glasses, he cleverly placed them on Simeon’s nose. In a painting by Verrio of Christ healing the sick, the onlookers are shown wearing periwigs. To top that absurdity, Durer illustrated the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, featuring an angel in a dress that's stylishly trimmed with flounces. In the same artist’s depiction of Peter denying Christ, a Roman soldier can be seen comfortably smoking a pipe. A Dutch painter, in a scene of the Wise Men adoring the Holy Child, portrayed one of them wearing a large white surplice and boots with spurs, as he presents a model of a Dutch warship to the child. In a Dutch painting of Abraham preparing to sacrifice his son, rather than “stretching forth his hand and taking the knife” as described in Scripture, he’s shown using a more effective modern tool: he’s holding a blunderbuss to Isaac’s head. Berlin illustrated in one of his works the Virgin and Child listening to a violin; in another, he depicted King David playing the harp at the wedding of Christ and St. Catherine. A French artist created a version of the Last Supper, with the table adorned with glasses filled with cigar lighters; and to add to the ridiculousness of these anachronisms, the Garden of Eden features Adam and Eve in their original simplicity and virtue, while nearby stands a hunter in full gear, shooting ducks.
MINUTE MECHANISM.
There is a cherry-stone at the Salem (Mass.) Museum, which contains one dozen silver spoons. The stone itself is of the ordinary size; but the spoons are so small that their shape and finish can only be well distinguished by the microscope. Here is the result of immense labor for no decidedly useful purpose; and there are thousands of other objects in the world fashioned by ingenuity, the value of which, in a utilitarian sense, may be said to be quite as indifferent. Dr. Oliver gives an account of a cherry-stone on which were carved one hundred and twenty-four heads, so distinctly that the naked eye could distinguish those belonging to popes and kings by their mitres and crowns. It was bought in Prussia for fifteen thousand dollars, and thence conveyed to England, where it was considered an object of so much value that its possession was disputed, and it became the object of a suit in chancery. One of the Nuremberg toy-makers enclosed in a cherry-stone, which was exhibited at the French Crystal Palace, a plan of Sevastopol, a railway-station, and the “Messiah” of Klopstock. In more remote times, an account is given of an ivory chariot, constructed by Mermecides, which was so small that a fly could cover it with his wing; also a ship of the same material, which could be hidden under the wing of a bee! Pliny, too, tells us that Homer’s Iliad, with its fifteen thousand verses, was written in so small a space as to be contained in a nutshell; while Elian mentions an artist who wrote a distich in letters of gold, which he enclosed in the rind of a kernel of corn. But the Harleian MS. 431mentions a greater curiosity than any of the above, it being nothing more nor less than the Bible, written by one Peter Bales, a chancery clerk, in so small a book that it could be enclosed within the shell of an English walnut. Disraeli gives an account of many other exploits similar to the one of Bales. There is a drawing of the head of Charles II. in the library of St. John’s College, Oxford, wholly composed of minute written characters, which at a small distance resemble the lines of an engraving. The head and the ruff are said to contain the book of Psalms, in Greek, and the Lord’s Prayer. In the British Museum is a portrait of Queen Anne, not much larger than the hand. On this drawing are a number of lines and scratches, which, it is asserted, comprise the entire contents of a thin folio. The modern art of Photography is capable of effecting wonders in this way. We have before us the Declaration of Independence, containing seven thousand eight hundred letters, on a space not larger than the head of a pin, which, when viewed through a microscope, may be read distinctly.
There’s a cherry stone at the Salem Museum in Massachusetts that holds a dozen silver spoons. The stone is about average size, but the spoons are so tiny that you can only see their shape and finish clearly with a microscope. This is the result of an enormous amount of work for no particularly useful purpose, and there are thousands of other items in the world made by human creativity, whose practical value is similar. Dr. Oliver mentions a cherry stone carved with one hundred twenty-four heads, which are so distinct that you can tell the ones for popes and kings by their mitres and crowns with the naked eye. It was purchased in Prussia for fifteen thousand dollars and then brought to England, where its value was so significant that its ownership was contested, leading to a court case. One of the toy makers from Nuremberg put a plan of Sevastopol, a railway station, and Klopstock’s “Messiah” inside a cherry stone, which was displayed at the French Crystal Palace. In even earlier times, there’s a story about an ivory chariot made by Mermecides that was small enough for a fly to cover it with its wing, and a ship of the same material that could fit under a bee's wing! Pliny also says that Homer’s Iliad, with its fifteen thousand verses, was written so small that it could fit inside a nutshell, while Elian mentions an artist who wrote a distich in gold letters and enclosed it in the skin of a corn kernel. However, the Harleian manuscript mentions an even greater curiosity—namely, the Bible written by Peter Bales, a chancery clerk, in such a tiny book that it could fit inside the shell of an English walnut. Disraeli recounts many similar achievements like Bales’. There’s a drawing of Charles II's head in the library of St. John’s College, Oxford, made entirely of tiny written characters that, from a distance, look like the lines of an engraving. The head and ruff are said to contain the book of Psalms in Greek and the Lord’s Prayer. In the British Museum, there’s a portrait of Queen Anne that’s barely bigger than a hand. This drawing has several lines and scratches which supposedly include everything in a thin book. Modern photography can accomplish similar feats. We have the Declaration of Independence, which contains seven thousand eight hundred letters, fitted into an area no larger than the head of a pin, and it can be read clearly through a microscope.
THE RATIO OF THE DIAMETER TO THE CIRCUMFERENCE.
The proportion of the diameter of a circle to its circumference has never yet been exactly ascertained. Nor can a square or any other right-lined figure be found that shall be equal to a given circle. This is the celebrated problem called the squaring of the circle, which has exercised the abilities of the greatest mathematicians for ages and been the occasion of so many disputes. Several persons of considerable eminence have, at different times, pretended that they had discovered the exact quadrature; but their errors have readily been detected; and it is now generally looked upon as a thing impossible to be done.
The ratio of a circle's diameter to its circumference has never been precisely determined. There's also no square or any other straight-edged shape that can exactly match a given circle. This is the famous problem known as the squaring of the circle, which has challenged the greatest mathematicians for centuries and led to countless debates. Various prominent individuals have claimed at different times that they found the exact solution; however, their mistakes were quickly uncovered, and it's now widely regarded as impossible to achieve.
But though the relation between the diameter and circumference cannot be accurately expressed in known numbers, it may yet be approximated to any assigned degree of exactness. And in this manner was the problem solved, about two thousand years ago, by the great Archimedes, who discovered the proportion to be nearly as seven to twenty-two. The process 432by which he effected this may be seen in his book De Dimensione Circuli. The same proportion was also discovered by Philo Gadarensis and Apollonius Pergeus at a still earlier period, as we are informed by Eutocius.
But even though the relationship between the diameter and circumference can’t be precisely defined with known numbers, it can still be approximated to a desired level of accuracy. This is how the problem was solved about two thousand years ago by the great Archimedes, who found the ratio to be roughly seven to twenty-two. The method he used can be found in his book On the Measurement of a Circle. This same ratio was also identified by Philo Gadarensis and Apollonius Pergeus even earlier, as noted by Eutocius.
The proportion of Vieta and Metius is that of one hundred and thirteen to three hundred and fifty-five, which is a little more exact than the former. It was derived from the pretended quadrature of a M. Van Eick, which first gave rise to the discovery.
The ratio of Vieta and Metius is one hundred thirteen to three hundred fifty-five, which is slightly more accurate than the previous one. It came from the supposed squaring of a M. Van Eick, which initially led to the discovery.
But the first who ascertained this ratio to any great degree of exactness was Van Ceulen, a Dutchman, in his book De Circulo et Adscriptis. He found that if the diameter of a circle was 1, the circumference would be 3·141592653589793238462643383279502884 nearly; which is exactly true to thirty-six places of decimals, and was effected by the continual bisection of an arc of a circle, a method so extremely troublesome and laborious that it must have cost him incredible pains. It is said to have been thought so curious a performance that the numbers were cut on his tombstone in St. Peter’s churchyard, at Leyden.
But the first person to determine this ratio with significant accuracy was Van Ceulen, a Dutchman, in his book Of Circle and Subscribers. He discovered that if the diameter of a circle was 1, the circumference would be approximately 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884; which is exactly true to thirty-six decimal places, achieved by constantly bisecting an arc of a circle, a method so incredibly tedious and labor-intensive that it must have taken him immense effort. It’s said that this accomplishment was considered so remarkable that the numbers were engraved on his tombstone in St. Peter’s churchyard in Leyden.
But since the invention of fluxions, and the summation of infinite series, several methods have been discovered for doing the same thing with much more ease and expedition. Euler and other eminent mathematicians have by these means given a quadrature of the circle which is true to more than one hundred places of decimals,—a proportion so extremely near the truth that, unless the ratio could be completely obtained, we need not wish for a greater degree of accuracy.
But since the invention of calculus and the summation of infinite series, several methods have been developed to achieve the same results with much greater ease and speed. Euler and other prominent mathematicians have, through these means, provided a way to calculate the area of a circle that is accurate to over one hundred decimal places—a level of precision so incredibly close to the truth that unless the ratio could be fully determined, we shouldn't desire any greater accuracy.
MATHEMATICAL PRODIGIES.
Prominent among the precocious mathematicians of the present day is a colored boy in Kentucky, named William Marcy, whose feats in mental arithmetic are truly wonderful. His powers of computation appear to be fully equal to those of Bidder, 433Buxton, Grandimange, Colburn, or Safford. He can multiply or divide millions by thousands in a few minutes from the time the figures are given to him, and always with the utmost exactness. Recently, in the presence of a party of gentlemen, he added a column of figures, eight in a line, and one hundred and eighty lines, making the sum total of several millions, within six minutes. The feat was so astounding, and apparently incredible, that several of the party took off their coats, and, dividing the sum, went to work, and in two hours after they commenced produced identically the same answers. The boy is not quite seventeen years of age; he cannot read nor write, and in every other branch of an English education is entirely deficient. It is worthy of remark that mathematics is the only department of science in which such feats of imbecile minds can be achieved. The supposition would not, a priori, be admissible; but frequent facts prove it. A negro, a real idiot, was not long since reported in Alabama, who could beat this Kentuckian in figures, but could scarcely do any thing else worthy of a human intellect. Precocious mathematicians, not imbecile, have usually turned out poorly; few of them, like Pascal, have shown any general capacity. These facts suggest inferences unfortunate for mathematical genius, if not for mathematical studies. They have sublime relations, in their “mixed” form, with our knowledge of the universe; but their relations to genius—to human sentiments and sensibilities—to the moral and ideal in humanity,—are, to say the least, quite equivocal. The calculating power alone would seem to be the least of human qualities, and to have the smallest amount of reason in it; since a machine like Babbage’s can be made to do the work of three or four calculators, and better than any of them.
A standout among the gifted young mathematicians today is a Black boy from Kentucky named William Marcy, whose skills in mental arithmetic are truly remarkable. His calculation abilities seem to match those of notable figures like Bidder, Buxton, Grandimange, Colburn, or Safford. He can multiply or divide millions by thousands in just a few minutes after being given the numbers, and he always does so with complete accuracy. Recently, in front of a group of gentlemen, he added a column of numbers—eight in a row and one hundred and eighty rows long—summing up to several millions, all in just six minutes. The achievement was so impressive and seemingly unbelievable that some in the group took off their coats, divided the total, and worked together; two hours later, they arrived at exactly the same results. The boy is not yet seventeen, cannot read or write, and is completely lacking in other areas of a typical English education. It's worth noting that mathematics is the only area of science where such feats can be accomplished by minds that might otherwise be considered deficient. Although it seems unlikely, many examples support this observation. Recently, a true idiot from Alabama was reported to outdo this Kentuckian in calculations, but struggled to perform any other task worthy of human intellect. Gifted young mathematicians, who are not deficient, often turn out to face challenges; few, like Pascal, have shown any broader capabilities. These observations raise unfortunate implications for mathematical talent and education. While mathematics has profound connections to our understanding of the universe, its links to genius, human emotions, and moral ideals are, at best, quite ambiguous. Pure calculating ability appears to be among the least valued human traits, with little reasoning involved; after all, a machine like Babbage's can outperform multiple human calculators combined.
EXTRAORDINARY MEMORY.
Lipsius made this offer to a German prince:—Sit here with a poniard, and if in repeating Tacitus from beginning to end I miss a single word, stab me. I will freely bare my breast for you to strike.
Lipsius made this offer to a German prince:—Sit here with a dagger, and if while reciting Tacitus from start to finish I miss even one word, stab me. I will willingly expose my chest for you to strike.
434Muretus tells us of a young Corsican, a law-student at Padua, who could, without hesitation, repeat thirty-six thousand Latin, Greek, or barbarous words, significant or insignificant, upon once hearing them. Muretus himself tested his wonderful memory, and avers all alleged respecting it to be strictly true.
434Muretus talks about a young guy from Corsica, a law student in Padua, who could effortlessly recite thirty-six thousand Latin, Greek, or unusual words, whether they were meaningful or not, after just hearing them once. Muretus himself checked his amazing memory and insists that everything said about it is completely true.
Mr. Carruthers, in the course of a lecture on Scottish history mentioned an instance of Sir Walter Scott’s wonderful memory: “I have heard Campbell relate how strongly Scott was impressed with his (Campbell’s) poem of Lochiel’s Warning. ‘I read it to him in manuscript,’ he said; ‘he then asked to read it over himself, which he did slowly and distinctly, after which he handed to me the manuscript, saying, ‘Take care of your copyright, for I have got your poem by heart,’ and with only these two readings he repeated the poem with scarcely a mistake.’ Certainly an extraordinary instance of memory, for the piece contains eighty-eight lines. The subject, however, was one which could not fail powerfully to arrest Scott’s attention, and versification and diction are such as are easily caught up and remembered.”
Mr. Carruthers, during a lecture on Scottish history, shared an example of Sir Walter Scott’s incredible memory: “I’ve heard Campbell talk about how deeply Scott was moved by his poem Lochiel’s Warning. ‘I read it to him in manuscript,’ he said; ‘he then asked to read it himself, which he did slowly and clearly. After that, he handed me the manuscript, saying, ‘Take care of your copyright, because I have memorized your poem,’ and with only those two readings, he recited the poem with hardly any mistakes.’ It's definitely an amazing example of memory, especially since the piece has eighty-eight lines. However, the subject matter would certainly have captured Scott’s attention, and the rhythm and wording are easy to remember.”
SILENT COMPLIMENT.
While an eloquent clergyman was addressing a religious society, he intimated, more than once, that he was admonished to conclude by the lateness of the hour. His discourse, however, was so attractive that some ladies in the gallery covered the clock with their shawls.
While a charismatic clergyman was speaking to a religious group, he hinted, more than once, that he needed to wrap up because it was getting late. However, his talk was so engaging that some women in the gallery covered the clock with their shawls.
SELF-IMMOLATION.
Comyn, Bishop of Durham, having quarrelled with his clergy, they mixed poison with the wine of the Eucharist, and gave it to him. He perceived the poison, but yet, with misguided devotion, he drank it and died.
Comyn, Bishop of Durham, had a falling out with his clergy, who mixed poison into the Eucharist wine and offered it to him. He realized the wine was poisoned, but, in his misguided devotion, he still drank it and died.
THE NEED OF PROVIDENCE.
Cecil says in his Remains:—We require the same hand to protect us in apparent safety as in the most imminent and palpable danger. One of the most wicked men in my neighborhood was riding near a precipice and fell over: his horse was killed, but he escaped without injury. Instead of thanking God for his 435deliverance, he refused to acknowledge the hand of God in it, but attributed his escape to chance. The same man was afterwards riding on a very smooth road: his horse suddenly fell and threw his rider over his head, and killed him on the spot, while the horse escaped unhurt.
Cecil says in his Remains:—We need the same hand to protect us in obvious safety as in the greatest and clearest danger. One of the most wicked men in my neighborhood was riding near a cliff and fell over: his horse was killed, but he walked away without a scratch. Instead of thanking God for his escape, he refused to acknowledge God's role in it and instead blamed luck. The same man later rode on a very smooth road: his horse suddenly stumbled, threw him over its head, and killed him instantly, while the horse walked away unharmed.
The Fancies of Fact.-Continued
DIMENSIONS OF HEAVEN.
And he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length, and the breadth, and the height of it are equal.—Rev. xxi. 16.
And he measured the city with the measuring stick, twelve thousand furlongs. The length, width, and height of it are the same.—Rev. xxi. 16.
Twelve thousand furlongs, 7,920,000 feet, which being cubed, 496,793,088,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. Half of this we will reserve for the Throne of God and the Court of Heaven, and half the balance for streets, leaving a remainder of 124,198,272,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. Divide this by 4,096, the cubical feet in a room sixteen feet square, and there will be 30,321,843,750,000,000 rooms.
Twelve thousand furlongs, 7,920,000 feet, which when cubed equals 496,793,088,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. We'll set aside half of this for the Throne of God and the Court of Heaven, and half of what's left for streets, leaving us with 124,198,272,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. If we divide this by 4,096, the cubic feet in a room that’s sixteen feet square, we get 30,321,843,750,000,000 rooms.
We will now suppose the world always did and always will contain 990,000,000 inhabitants, and that a generation lasts for 33⅓ years, making in all 2,970,000,000 every century, and that the world will stand 100,000 years, or 1,000 centuries, making in all 2,970,000,000,000 inhabitants. Then suppose there were one hundred worlds equal to this in number of inhabitants and duration of years, making a total of 297,000,000,000,000 persons, and there would be more than a hundred rooms sixteen feet square for each person.
We will now assume that the world always has and always will have 990,000,000 people, and that a generation lasts for 33⅓ years, resulting in a total of 2,970,000,000 people every century. If the world lasts for 100,000 years, or 1,000 centuries, that would mean a total of 2,970,000,000,000 people. Now, imagine there are one hundred worlds with the same number of people and lifespan, giving us a grand total of 297,000,000,000,000 individuals, which means there would be more than a hundred rooms that are each 16 feet square for every person.
THE COST OF SOLOMON’S TEMPLE.
According to the computation of Villalpandus, the talents of gold, silver, and brass, used in the construction of the Temple, amounted to £6,879,822,500. The jewels are reckoned to have exceeded this sum; but, for the sake of an estimate, let their value be set down at the same amount. The vessels of gold (vasa aurea) consecrated to the use of the Temple are reckoned by Josephus at 140,000 talents, which, according to Capel’s reduction, are equal to £545,296,203. The vessels of silver (vasa argentea) are computed at 1,340,000 talents, or £489,344,000. The silk vestments of the priests cost £10,000; the purple vestments 436of the singers, £2,000,000. The trumpets amounted to £200,000; other musical instruments to £40,000. To these expenses must be added those of the other materials, the timber and stone, and of the labor employed upon them, the labor being divided thus: there were 10,000 men engaged at Lebanon in hewing timber (silvicidæ); there were 70,000 bearers of burdens (vectores); 20,000 hewers of stone (lapicidinæ); and 3,300 overseers (episcopi); all of whom were employed for seven years, and upon whom, besides their wages and diet, Solomon bestowed £6,733,977 (donum Solomonis). If the daily food and wages of each man be estimated at 4s. 6d., the sum total will be £93,877,088. The costly stone and the timber in the rough may be set down as at least equal to one-third of the gold, or about £2,545,296,000. The several estimates will then amount to £17,442,442,268, or $77,521,965,636.
According to Villalpandus's calculations, the gold, silver, and bronze used in building the Temple amounted to £6,879,822,500. The value of the jewels is believed to be even more; however, for estimation purposes, we can assume their worth is the same. Josephus estimates the gold vessels (golden vessels) dedicated to the Temple at 140,000 talents, which, according to Capel’s conversion, equals £545,296,203. The silver vessels (silver vessels) are estimated at 1,340,000 talents, or £489,344,000. The silk garments for the priests cost £10,000, while the purple garments for the singers came to £2,000,000. The trumpets amounted to £200,000, and other musical instruments totaled £40,000. We must also include the costs of materials, timber, and stone, as well as the labor involved. The labor was divided as follows: 10,000 men worked in Lebanon cutting timber (silvicidæ); there were 70,000 who carried burdens (vectors); 20,000 were stone cutters (lapicidine); and 3,300 were overseers (bishops); all were employed for seven years, and besides their wages and food, Solomon contributed £6,733,977 (gift of Solomon). If we estimate daily food and wages for each worker at 4s. 6d., the total comes to £93,877,088. The expensive stone and rough timber can be valued at least at one-third of the gold, which is about £2,545,296,000. Altogether, these estimates will total £17,442,442,268, or $77,521,965,636.
THE NUMBER SEVEN.
In the year 1502 there was printed at Leipsic a work entitled Heptalogium Virgilii Salsburgensis, in honor of the number seven. It consists of seven parts, each consisting of seven divisions. In 1624 appeared in London a curious work on the subject of numbers, bearing the following title: The Secrets of Numbers, according to Theological, Arithmetical, Geometrical, and Harmonical Computation; drawn, for the better part, out of those Ancients, as well as Neoteriques. Pleasing to read, profitable to understand, opening themselves to the capacities of both learned and unlearned; being no other than a key to lead men to any doctrinal knowledge whatsoever. In the ninth chapter the author has given many notable opinions from learned men, to prove the excellency of the number seven. “First, it neither begets nor is begotten, according to the saying of Philo. Some numbers, indeed, within the compass of ten, beget, but are not begotten; and that is the unarie. Others are begotten, but beget not; as the octonarie. Only the septenarie, having a prerogative above them all, neither begetteth nor is begotten. This is its first divinity or 437perfection. Secondly, this is a harmonical number, and the well and fountain of that fair and lovely Digamma, because it includeth within itself all manner of harmony. Thirdly, it is a theological number, consisting of perfection. Fourthly, because of its compositure; for it is compounded of the first two perfect numbers equal and unequal,—three and four; for the number two, consisting of repeated unity, which is no number, is not perfect. Now, every one of these being excellent of themselves, (as hath been demonstrated,) how can this number be but far more excellent, consisting of them all, and participating, as it were, of all their excellent virtues?”
In the year 1502, a work titled Heptalogium Virgilii Salsburgensis was printed in Leipzig, celebrating the number seven. It is made up of seven parts, each containing seven divisions. In 1624, a fascinating work on the topic of numbers was published in London, titled The Secrets of Numbers, according to Theological, Arithmetical, Geometrical, and Harmonical Computation; drawn, for the most part, from those Ancients, as well as Neoteriques. Pleasing to read, beneficial to understand, accessible to both educated and uneducated minds; serving as a key to guide people toward any doctrinal knowledge. In the ninth chapter, the author presents many notable opinions from learned scholars to highlight the superiority of the number seven. “First, it neither produces nor is produced, according to Philo. Some numbers, within the range of ten, produce but are not produced; that’s the unary. Others are produced but do not produce, like the octonary. Only the septenary, with a special quality above all, neither produces nor is produced. This is its first divinity or perfection. Secondly, it is a harmonious number, the source of that beautiful Digamma, because it encompasses all forms of harmony. Thirdly, it is a theological number, representing perfection. Fourthly, due to its composition; it is made up of the first two perfect numbers, both equal and unequal—three and four; because the number two, being a repetition of unity, which is not a number, is not perfect. Now, since each of these is excellent in its own right (as has been demonstrated), how could this number be anything but far more excellent, consisting of them all and sharing, so to speak, all their outstanding qualities?”
Hippocrates says that the septenary number by its occult virtue tends to the accomplishment of all things, is the dispenser of life and fountain of all its changes; and, like Shakspeare, he divides the life of man into seven ages. In seven months a child may be born and live, and not before. Anciently a child was not named before seven days, not being accounted fully to have life before that periodical day. The teeth spring out in the seventh month, and are renewed in the seventh year, when infancy is changed into childhood. At thrice seven years the faculties are developed, manhood commences, and we become legally competent to all civil acts; at four times seven man is in the full possession of his strength; at five times seven he is fit for the business of the world; at six times seven he becomes grave and wise, or never; at seven times seven he is in his apogee, and from that time he decays. At eight times seven he is in his first climacteric; at nine times seven, or sixty-three, he is in his grand climacteric, or year of danger; and ten times seven, or threescore years and ten, has, by the Royal Prophet, been pronounced the natural period of human life.
Hippocrates says that the number seven, with its hidden significance, brings everything to fruition, serving as the source of life and its many changes. Similarly, Shakespeare divides a person's life into seven stages. A child can be born and live within seven months and not before. In the past, babies weren't named until they've lived for seven days, as they weren't considered fully alive until then. Teeth emerge in the seventh month and are replaced in the seventh year, marking the transition from infancy to childhood. At three times seven years, a person's abilities develop, manhood begins, and we are legally capable of all civil activities; at four times seven, a person is in full possession of their strength; at five times seven, they are ready for the responsibilities of the world; at six times seven, they become serious and wise, or they don't. At seven times seven, they reach their peak, and from that point on, they start to decline. At eight times seven, they experience their first significant turning point; at nine times seven, or sixty-three, they hit their major turning point, or year of risk; and at ten times seven, or seventy years, has been deemed by the Royal Prophet as the natural span of human life.
In six days creation was perfected, and the seventh was consecrated to rest. On the seventh of the seventh month a holy observance was ordained to the children of Israel, who feasted seven days and remained seven days in rest; the seventh year was directed to be a sabbath of rest for all things; and at the 438end of seven times seven years commenced the grand Jubilee; every seventh year the land lay fallow; every seventh year there was a general release from all debts, and all bondsmen were set free. From this law may have originated the custom of binding young men to seven years’ apprenticeship, and of punishing incorrigible offenders by transportation for seven, twice seven, or three times seven years. Every seventh year the law was directed to be read to the people; Jacob served seven years for the possession of Rachel, and also another seven years. Noah had seven days’ warning of the flood, and was commanded to take the fowls of the air into the ark by sevens, and the clean beasts by sevens. The ark touched the ground on the seventh month; and in seven days a dove was sent, and again in seven days after. The seven years of plenty and seven years of famine were foretold in Pharaoh’s dreams by the seven fat and the seven lean beasts, and the seven ears of full corn and the seven ears of blasted corn. The young animals were to remain with the dam seven days, and at the close of the seventh taken away. By the old law, man was commanded to forgive his offending brother seven times; but the meekness of the last revealed religion extended his humility and forbearance to seventy times seven times. “If Cain shall be revenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy times seven.” In the destruction of Jericho, seven priests bore seven trumpets seven days, and on the seventh day surrounded the walls seven times, and after the seventh time the walls fell. Balaam prepared seven bullocks and seven rams for a sacrifice; Laban pursued Jacob seven days’ journey; Job’s friends sat with him seven days and seven nights, and offered seven bullocks and seven rams as an atonement for their wickedness; David, in bringing up the ark, offered seven bullocks and seven rams; Elijah sent his servant seven times to look for the cloud; Hezekiah, in cleansing the temple, offered seven bullocks and seven rams and seven he-goats for a sin-offering. The children of Israel, when Hezekiah took away the strange altars, kept the feast of unleavened bread seven days, and then again another 439seven days. King Ahasuerus had seven chamberlains, a seven days’ feast, and sent for the queen on the seventh day; and in the seventh year of his reign she was taken to him. Queen Esther had seven maids to attend her. Solomon was seven years building the temple, at the dedication of which he feasted seven days; in the tabernacle were seven lamps; seven days were appointed for an atonement upon the altar, and the priest’s son was ordained to wear his father’s garment seven days; the children of Israel ate unleavened bread seven days; Abraham gave seven ewe-lambs to Abimelech as a memorial for a well; Joseph mourned seven days for Jacob. The rabbins say God employed the power of answering this number to perfect the greatness of Samuel, his name answering the value of the letters in the Hebrew word, which signifies seven,—whence Hannah, his mother, in her thanks, says “that the barren had brought forth the seventh.” In Scripture are enumerated seven resurrections,—the widow’s son, by Elias; the Shunamite’s son, by Elisha; the soldier who touched the bone of the prophet; the daughter of the ruler of the synagogue; the widow’s son of Nain; Lazarus, and our blessed Lord. Out of Mary Magdalene were cast seven devils. The apostles chose seven deacons. Enoch, who was translated, was the seventh after Adam, and Jesus Christ the seventy-seventh in a direct line. Our Saviour spoke seven times from the cross, on which he remained seven hours; he appeared seven times; after seven times seven days he sent the Holy Ghost. In the Lord’s Prayer are seven petitions, expressed in seven times seven words, omitting those of mere grammatical connection. Within this number are contained all the mysteries of the Apocalypse revealed to the seven churches of Asia; there appeared seven golden candlesticks and seven stars that were in the hand of Him that was in the midst; seven lamps, being the seven spirits of God; the book with seven seals; seven kings; seven thunders; seven thousand men slain; the dragon with seven heads, and the seven angels bearing seven vials of wrath; the vision of Daniel seventy weeks. The fiery furnace was made seven times 440hotter for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; Nebuchadnezzar ate the grass of the field seven years. The elders of Israel were seventy. There are also numbered seven heavens, seven planets, seven stars, seven wise men, seven champions of Christendom, seven notes in music, seven primary colors, seven deadly sins, seven sacraments in the Roman Catholic Church, and seven wonders of the world. The seventh son was considered as endowed with pre-eminent wisdom; the seventh son of a seventh son is still thought by some to possess the power of healing diseases spontaneously. Perfection is likened to gold seven times purified in the fire; and we yet say, “you frighten me out of my seven senses.” There were seven chiefs before Thebes. The blood was to be sprinkled seven times before the altar; Naaman was to be dipped seven times in Jordan; Apuleius speaks of the dipping of the head seven times in the sea for purification. In all solemn rites of purgation, dedication, and consecration, the oil or water was seven times sprinkled. The house of wisdom, in Proverbs, had seven pillars.
In six days, creation was completed, and the seventh was set aside for rest. On the seventh day of the seventh month, a holy celebration was established for the children of Israel, who celebrated for seven days and rested for another seven days. The seventh year was designated as a sabbath of rest for everything; and after seven cycles of seven years, the grand Jubilee began. Every seventh year, the land was left uncultivated; in every seventh year, there was a general release from all debts, and all servants were set free. This law might have inspired the tradition of binding young men to seven years of apprenticeship, and punishing persistent offenders with exile for seven, fourteen, or twenty-one years. Every seventh year, the law was to be read to the people; Jacob worked seven years to marry Rachel, and then another seven years. Noah received a warning of seven days before the flood and was instructed to bring the birds into the ark in groups of seven, as well as the clean animals in groups of seven. The ark landed on the ground in the seventh month, and a dove was sent out after seven days, and again after another seven days. The seven years of abundance and seven years of famine were foretold in Pharaoh’s dreams through the seven healthy cows and seven weak cows, as well as the seven full heads of grain and the seven blighted heads. The young animals were to stay with their mothers for seven days and then be taken away after the seventh day. According to the old law, a man was commanded to forgive his offending brother seven times; however, the humility of the final revealed religion extended his forgiveness to seventy times seven. “If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech is seventy times seven.” In the fall of Jericho, seven priests carried seven trumpets for seven days, and on the seventh day, they encircled the walls seven times; after the seventh time, the walls collapsed. Balaam prepared seven bulls and seven rams for a sacrifice; Laban chased Jacob for a journey of seven days; Job’s friends sat with him for seven days and nights, offering seven bulls and seven rams as a reconciliation for their wrongdoing; David, when bringing up the ark, offered seven bulls and seven rams; Elijah sent his servant seven times to look for a cloud; Hezekiah, during the temple's cleansing, offered seven bulls, seven rams, and seven goats for a sin offering. The children of Israel celebrated the feast of unleavened bread for seven days when Hezekiah removed the foreign altars, and then they celebrated for another seven days. King Ahasuerus had seven chamberlains, hosted a feast that lasted seven days, and summoned the queen on the seventh day; during the seventh year of his reign, she was brought to him. Queen Esther had seven maids to assist her. Solomon spent seven years building the temple, at the dedication of which he celebrated for seven days; in the tabernacle, there were seven lamps; seven days were set aside for an atonement on the altar; and the priest’s son was ordained to wear his father’s garment for seven days; the children of Israel ate unleavened bread for seven days; Abraham gave Abimelech seven ewe-lambs as a memorial for a well; Joseph mourned for seven days for Jacob. The rabbis say God used the significance of this number to enhance the greatness of Samuel, as his name corresponds to the value of the letters in the Hebrew word that means seven—which is why Hannah, his mother, expresses her gratitude by saying “that the barren has given birth to the seventh.” The scriptures list seven resurrections: the widow’s son, by Elijah; the Shunamite's son, by Elisha; the soldier who touched the prophet’s bones; the daughter of the synagogue ruler; the widow’s son of Nain; Lazarus; and our blessed Lord. Seven demons were cast out of Mary Magdalene. The apostles chose seven deacons. Enoch, who was taken up, was the seventh from Adam, and Jesus Christ is the seventy-seventh in line. Our Savior spoke seven times from the cross, where he hung for seven hours; he appeared seven times; after seventy days, he sent the Holy Spirit. In the Lord’s Prayer, there are seven requests expressed in seven groups of seven words, excluding those needed for grammatical connections. Within this number are contained all the mysteries of Revelation revealed to the seven churches of Asia, including the seven golden lampstands and seven stars held by Him who was in the middle; seven lamps, representing the seven spirits of God; the scroll with seven seals; seven kings; seven thunders; seven thousand slain; the dragon with seven heads; and seven angels holding seven jars of wrath; and Daniel’s vision of seventy weeks. The fiery furnace was heated seven times hotter for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; Nebuchadnezzar grazed in the fields for seven years. The elders of Israel numbered seventy. Additionally, there are seven heavens, seven planets, seven stars, seven wise men, seven champions of Christendom, seven musical notes, seven primary colors, seven deadly sins, seven sacraments in the Roman Catholic Church, and seven wonders of the world. The seventh son was believed to possess extraordinary wisdom; some still think that the seventh son of a seventh son can heal diseases instantly. Perfection is likened to gold purified seven times in the fire; and we still say, “you scare me out of my seven senses.” There were seven leaders before Thebes. The blood had to be sprinkled seven times before the altar; Naaman was instructed to dip seven times in the Jordan; Apuleius mentions dipping the head seven times in the sea for purification. In all solemn rites of purification, dedication, and consecration, the oil or water was sprinkled seven times. The house of wisdom in Proverbs has seven pillars.
THE NUMBER THREE.
When the world was created, we find land, water, and sky; sun, moon, and stars. Noah had but three sons; Jonah was three days in the whale’s belly; our Saviour passed three days in the tomb. Peter denied his Saviour thrice. There were three patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Abraham entertained three angels. Samuel was called three times. “Simon, lovest thou me?” was repeated three times. Daniel was thrown into a den with three lions, for praying three times a day. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were rescued from the flames of the oven. The Commandments were delivered on the third day. Job had three friends. St. Paul speaks of faith, hope, and charity, these three. Those famous dreams of the baker and butler were to come to pass in three days; and Elijah prostrated himself three times on the body of the dead child. Samson deceived Delilah three times before she discovered the source of his strength. In mythology there were 441three graces; Cerberus with his three heads; Neptune holding his three-toothed staff; the Oracle of Delphi cherished with veneration the tripod; and the nine Muses sprang from three. The witches in Macbeth ask, “When shall we three meet again?” The Pope’s tiara is triple. We have morning, noon, and night; fish, flesh, and fowl; water, ice, and snow. Trees group their leaves in threes; there is three-leaved clover. What could be done in mathematics without the aid of the triangle? witness the power of the wedge; and in logic three propositions are indispensable. It is a common phrase that “three is a lucky number.” Life stands on a tripod, the feet of which are the circulation, respiration, and innervation; death is therefore the result of a failure in the heart, the lungs, or the brain. Finally, there is earth, heaven, and hell; and above all, the Holy Trinity.
When the world was created, there was land, water, and sky; sun, moon, and stars. Noah had only three sons; Jonah spent three days in the belly of a whale; our Savior was in the tomb for three days. Peter denied his Savior three times. There were three patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Abraham welcomed three angels. Samuel was called three times. “Simon, do you love me?” was asked three times. Daniel was thrown into a den with three lions for praying three times a day. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were saved from the fire. The Commandments were given on the third day. Job had three friends. St. Paul mentions faith, hope, and charity, these three. The famous dreams of the baker and the butler were to happen in three days; and Elijah fell to the ground three times on the body of the dead child. Samson tricked Delilah three times before she found out the secret of his strength. In mythology, there were three Graces; Cerberus had three heads; Neptune wielded his three-pronged staff; the Oracle of Delphi honored the tripod; and the nine Muses originated from three. The witches in Macbeth ask, “When will we three meet again?” The Pope’s tiara has three layers. We have morning, noon, and night; fish, meat, and poultry; water, ice, and snow. Trees arrange their leaves in groups of three; there is three-leaved clover. What could be achieved in mathematics without the triangle? Just look at the power of the wedge; and in logic, three propositions are essential. It's a common saying that “three is a lucky number.” Life stands on a tripod, with the legs of circulation, respiration, and innervation; therefore, death results from a failure in the heart, the lungs, or the brain. Finally, there is earth, heaven, and hell; and above all, the Holy Trinity.
THE NUMBER NINE.
The singular properties of the number nine are well known to arithmeticians. The following is one of the most interesting. If the cardinal numbers from 1 to 9 inclusive, omitting 8, be used as a multiplicand, and any one of them multiplied by 9 be used as a multiplier, the result will present a succession of figures the same as that multiplied by the 9. For example, if we wish a series of fives, we take 5 times 9, equal to 45, for a multiplier:—
The unique properties of the number nine are well-known among mathematicians. One of the most interesting facts is this: if you take the cardinal numbers from 1 to 9, excluding 8, and use them as a multiplicand, while multiplying any one of them by 9 as a multiplier, the result will display a sequence of digits that matches the original number multiplied by 9. For instance, if we want a series of fives, we take 5 times 9, which equals 45, as our multiplier:—
A similar result will be obtained by using all the other numbers, including 8 (72); but the 8 must in all cases be omitted in the multiplicand.
A similar result will be achieved by using all the other numbers, including 8 (72); however, the 8 must be excluded in the multiplicand in every case.
CHANGES OF THE KALEIDOSCOPE.
The following curious calculation has been made of the number of changes which this wonderful instrument will admit:—
The following interesting calculation has been made of the number of changes that this amazing instrument can handle:—
442Supposing the instrument to contain twenty small pieces of glass, &c., and that you make ten changes in each minute, it will take the inconceivable space of 462,880,899,576 years and 360 days to go through the immense variety of changes it is capable of producing,—amounting (according to our frail idea of the nature of things) to an eternity, Or, if you take only twelve small pieces, and make ten changes in each minute, it will then take 33,264 days, or 91 years and 49 days, to exhaust its variations. However exaggerated this statement may appear to some, it is actually the case.
442Let’s say the instrument has twenty small pieces of glass, and you make ten changes every minute. It would take an unimaginable 462,880,899,576 years and 360 days to go through all the different changes it can produce—an amount of time that feels like forever. On the other hand, if you only have twelve small pieces and still make ten changes each minute, it would take 33,264 days, or 91 years and 49 days, to get through all its variations. While this may seem exaggerated to some, it’s the reality.
NOAH’S ARK AND THE GREAT EASTERN STEAMSHIP.
The following comparison between the size of Noah’s Ark and the Leviathan (Great Eastern), both being considered in point of tonnage, after the old law for calculating the tonnage, exhibits a remarkable similarity. The sacred cubit, as stated by Sir Isaac Newton, is 20·625 English inches; by Bishop Wilkins at 21·88 inches. According to these authorities, the dimensions will be as follows:—
The following comparison between the size of Noah’s Ark and the Leviathan (Great Eastern), both considered in terms of tonnage, according to the old method for calculating tonnage, shows a remarkable similarity. The sacred cubit, as noted by Sir Isaac Newton, is 20.625 English inches; by Bishop Wilkins, it's 21.88 inches. Based on these sources, the dimensions will be as follows:—
SIR I. NEWTON. | BP. WILKINS. | GR. EASTERN. | |
---|---|---|---|
Feet. | Feet. | Feet. | |
Length between perpendiculars | 515·62 | 547·00 | 680 |
Breadth | 84·94 | 91·16 | 83 |
Depth | 51·56 | 54·70 | 60 |
Keel, or length for tonnage | 464·08 | 492·31 | 630 |
Tonnage according to old law | 18,231 58–94 | 21,761 50–94 | 23,092 25–94. |
DIVERSITY OF COLORS.
In a very amusing work of the celebrated Goethe, entitled Winkelmann und sein Jahrhundert, it is stated that about fifteen thousand varieties of color are employed by the workers of mosaic in Rome, and that there are fifty shades of each of these varieties, from the deepest to the palest, thus affording seven hundred and fifty thousand tints, which the artist can distinguish with the greatest facility. It might be imagined that with the command of seven hundred and fifty thousand tints of colors, the most varied and beautiful painting could be 443perfectly imitated; yet this is not the case, for the mosaic-workers find a lack of tints, even amid this astonishing variety.
In a very entertaining piece by the famous Goethe, titled Winkelmann and his century, it mentions that about fifteen thousand different colors are used by the mosaic artists in Rome, with fifty shades of each color, ranging from the darkest to the lightest. This gives a total of seven hundred and fifty thousand shades that the artist can easily recognize. One might think that having access to seven hundred and fifty thousand shades of color would allow for the perfect replication of the most diverse and beautiful paintings; however, that’s not the case, as the mosaic artists still find themselves lacking shades, even with such an incredible variety. 443
AEROLITES.
Meteoric stones, in single masses and in showers, have fallen from the atmosphere at various, and in many cases uncertain, periods, throughout the world. The largest of these at present known is in the province of Tucuman, in South America, in the midst of an extensive plain. It weighs thirty thousand pounds. A mass in the Imperial Cabinet in Vienna was brought from Agram, in Croatia, where it fell in 1751. It was seen by the inhabitants while falling from the air, and is said to have appeared like a globe of fire. Professor Pallas, in his travels in Siberia, found a mass on the mountains of Kemir, weighing sixteen hundred and eighty pounds, which the inhabitants told him fell from the sky. About one hundred and fifty miles from Bahia, in Brazil, is a mass of a crystalline texture weighing fourteen thousand pounds. There are also large masses in West Greenland, Mexico, Peru, and South Africa. The specimen in the cabinet at New Haven, weighing three thousand pounds, was brought from Red River in Louisiana. Showers of meteorolites, weighing from a few ounces to twenty pounds, are recorded by observers as having fallen at Ensisheim, in 1492; at Mort, in 1750; at Aire, in 1769; at Juliac, in 1790; at Sienna, in 1794; at Benares, in 1798; at L’Aigle, in 1803; and at St. Germaine, in 1808. One of the most remarkable instances that has occurred in this country under the direct observation of eye-witnesses took place in Fairfield county, Connecticut, in December, 1807, an interesting account of which may be found in vol. vi. American Philosophical Transactions (1809). A similar occurrence happened at Norwich, in the same State, in 1836.
Meteorites, both as single pieces and in showers, have fallen from the atmosphere at various times and often under uncertain conditions around the world. The largest one currently known is located in Tucuman, South America, in the middle of a vast plain. It weighs thirty thousand pounds. A piece in the Imperial Cabinet in Vienna was brought from Agram, Croatia, where it fell in 1751. The locals saw it falling from the sky and described it as looking like a ball of fire. Professor Pallas, during his travels in Siberia, found a mass on the Kemir mountains weighing sixteen hundred and eighty pounds, which the residents claimed fell from the sky. About one hundred and fifty miles from Bahia, Brazil, there is a mass with a crystalline structure weighing fourteen thousand pounds. There are also large masses found in West Greenland, Mexico, Peru, and South Africa. The specimen in the cabinet at New Haven weighs three thousand pounds and was found in Red River, Louisiana. Instances of meteorite showers, ranging from a few ounces to twenty pounds, have been recorded by observers as falling at Ensisheim in 1492, Mort in 1750, Aire in 1769, Juliac in 1790, Sienna in 1794, Benares in 1798, L’Aigle in 1803, and St. Germaine in 1808. One of the most notable events that took place in this country with direct eyewitness accounts happened in Fairfield County, Connecticut, in December 1807, with an interesting account available in vol. vi. of the American Philosophical Transactions (1809). A similar event occurred in Norwich, also in Connecticut, in 1836.
With regard to the extraordinary origin of these aerolites, or meteorolites, it has been incontestably proved to be atmospheric, by eye-witnesses, by the similarity of their composition in all cases, by the fact that though the materials thus mingled—being 444chiefly native iron, with small proportions of nickel, silex, aluminium, magnesium, and sulphur—are well known, they are never united in the same manner among the productions of the globe; and further, by the fact that they are never projected from terrestrial volcanoes, and that the situations in which they are found are generally isolated and always on the surface of the earth.
Regarding the remarkable origin of these aerolites, or meteorites, it has been undeniably proven to be atmospheric, supported by eyewitness accounts, the similarity in their composition across all cases, and the fact that while the combined materials—mainly native iron, with small amounts of nickel, silica, aluminum, magnesium, and sulfur—are well known, they are never found combined in the same way in terrestrial production. Additionally, they are never ejected from Earth’s volcanoes, and they are typically found in isolated locations, always on the surface of the earth.
It remains, then, for the philosopher to ascertain the source of this interesting portion of nature. The great difficulty of this task is evident from the number and variety of the theories which have been formed respecting it, and their liability to serious objections. Those who hold the opinion that aerolites are formed from substances floating in the atmosphere must resort to the hypothesis that iron, nickel, silex, sulphur, &c. are first rendered volatile, and then synthetically formed into the ponderous stones which fall from above. Professor Silliman remarks of this recourse to atmospheric formation from gaseous ingredients, that it is a crude, unphilosophical conception, inconsistent with known chemical facts, and physically impossible. The theory which refers these aerolites to lunar volcanic origin seems to have more to recommend it. La Place, the illustrious author of the Mécanique Céleste,—the respect due to whose opinion no one will dispute,—maintained that these meteoric stones are expelled violently from the active volcanoes which telescopic research has proved to exist in great numbers on the surface of the moon, and that, passing beyond the limits of the attraction of our satellite, they come within the influence of the earth and are drawn towards its surface. It has been calculated that the power required to drive a body beyond the moon’s attraction would be only about four times that with which a ball is expelled from a cannon with the ordinary charge of gunpowder. However rapid a velocity of seven thousand seven hundred and seventy feet per second may seem, it would not require an improbable amount of mechanical force.
It remains for the philosopher to figure out the source of this fascinating aspect of nature. The challenge of this task is clear from the numerous and varied theories that have been proposed about it, as well as their susceptibility to significant objections. Those who believe that meteorites come from substances floating in the atmosphere must rely on the idea that iron, nickel, silica, sulfur, etc., first become gaseous and then form into the heavy stones that fall from above. Professor Silliman points out that this idea of atmospheric formation from gaseous ingredients is a simplistic, unscientific notion that contradicts established chemical facts and is physically impossible. The theory that attributes these meteorites to a lunar volcanic origin seems to have more merit. La Place, the esteemed author of Celestial Mechanics, whose opinion is universally respected, argued that these meteoric stones are forcefully expelled from the active volcanoes that telescopic research has shown exist in great numbers on the moon's surface. After escaping the moon's gravitational pull, they come under the earth's influence and are pulled toward its surface. It has been estimated that the force needed to launch an object beyond the moon's gravity would be only about four times that required to fire a ball from a cannon using a standard amount of gunpowder. While a speed of seven thousand seven hundred and seventy feet per second may seem extreme, it wouldn’t necessitate an unrealistic amount of mechanical force.
Professor Olmsted, the American astronomer, has offered 445the most satisfactory explanation. He has shown that countless bodies, of comparatively small dimensions, cluster together in vast rings, and revolve, as do the planets, around the sun; that these bodies become visible when the orbit of the earth approaches their orbit; that sometimes they are entangled in our atmosphere, catch fire from their enormous velocity, and fall to the earth as meteoric stones. In this way the shooting stars and meteors are shown to be diminutive planets, which in composition and orbital motion resemble our own earth, and almost fill the planetary space with their countless squadrons.
Professor Olmsted, the American astronomer, has provided the clearest explanation. He demonstrated that countless small bodies cluster together in huge rings and orbit around the sun like the planets do. These bodies become visible when the Earth's orbit gets close to theirs; sometimes they get caught in our atmosphere, ignite due to their high speed, and fall to Earth as meteoric stones. This shows that shooting stars and meteors are actually tiny planets that, in composition and orbital motion, are similar to our own Earth, filling the space between planets with their numerous groups.
FATE OF AMERICA’S DISCOVERERS.
It is remarkable how few of the eminent men of the discoverers and conquerors of the New World died in peace. Columbus died broken-hearted; Roldin and Bobadilla were drowned; Ovando was harshly superseded; Las Casas sought refuge in a cowl; Ojeda died in extreme poverty; Enciso was deposed by his own men; Nicuessa perished miserably by the cruelty of his party; Vasco Nunez de Balboa was disgracefully beheaded; Narvaez was imprisoned in a tropical dungeon, and afterwards died of hardship; Cortez was dishonored; Alvarado was destroyed in ambush; Almagro was garroted; Pizarro was murdered, and his four brothers cut off; and there was no end to the assassinations and executions of the secondary chiefs among the energetic and daring adventurers.
It’s striking how few of the famous men among the explorers and conquerors of the New World died peacefully. Columbus died heartbroken; Roldin and Bobadilla drowned; Ovando was harshly replaced; Las Casas sought refuge in a hooded cloak; Ojeda died in extreme poverty; Enciso was overthrown by his own crew; Nicuessa suffered a miserable death at the hands of his men; Vasco Nunez de Balboa was disgracefully beheaded; Narvaez was locked away in a tropical prison and later died from hardship; Cortez was dishonored; Alvarado was killed in an ambush; Almagro was strangled; Pizarro was murdered, and his four brothers were killed as well; and the assassinations and executions of the lesser leaders among the bold and daring adventurers seemed endless.
FACTS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS.
Of the first seven Presidents of the United States, four were from Virginia, two of the same name from Massachusetts, and one from Tennessee. All but one were sixty-six years old on leaving office, having served two terms, and one of those who served but one term would have been sixty-six years of age at the end of another. Three of the seven died on the 4th of July, and two of them on the same day and year. Two of them were on the sub-committee of three that drafted the Declaration of Independence; and these two died on the same day and 446year, on the anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, and just half a century from the day of the Declaration. The names of three of the seven end in son, yet none of them transmitted his name to a son. The initials of the names of two of the seven are the same; the initials of two others are the same; and those of still two others, the same. The remaining one, who stands alone in this particular, stands also alone in the love and admiration of his countrymen and of the civilized world,—Washington. Of the first five, only one had a son, and that son was also President. Neither of the Presidents who had sons were elected for a second term.
Of the first seven Presidents of the United States, four were from Virginia, two with the same name from Massachusetts, and one from Tennessee. All but one were sixty-six years old when they left office after serving two terms, and one of those who served only one term would have been sixty-six at the end of another. Three of the seven died on July 4th, and two of them passed away on the same day and year. Two of them were part of the three-member subcommittee that drafted the Declaration of Independence; these two died on the same day and year, on the anniversary of the Declaration, exactly fifty years after it was signed. The names of three of the seven end in "son," yet none of them passed their name on to a son. The initials of two of the seven are the same; the initials of two others are the same; and the initials of still two others are the same. The last one, who is unique in this regard, is also unique in the love and admiration of his fellow citizens and of the civilized world—Washington. Of the first five, only one had a son, and that son also became President. Neither of the Presidents with sons was elected for a second term.
THE CROWN OF ENGLAND.
The crown of England is a costly “bauble,” bedazzled with jewels enough to found three or four public charities, or a half-dozen ordinary colleges. There are twenty diamonds round the circle, worth $7,500 each, making $150,000; two large centre diamonds, $10,000 each, making $20,000; fifty-four smaller diamonds, placed at the angle of the former, each $500; four crosses, each composed of twenty-five diamonds, $60,000; four large diamonds on the top of the crosses, $20,000; twelve diamonds contained in the fleur-de-lis, $50,000; eighteen smaller diamonds contained in the same, $10,000; pearls, diamonds, &c. upon the arches and crosses, $50,000; also one hundred and forty-one small diamonds, $25,000; twenty-six diamonds in the upper cross, $15,500; two circles of pearls about the rim, $15,000. The cost of the stones in the crown, exclusive of the metal, is, therefore, nearly half a million of dollars.
The crown of England is an expensive "trinket," dazzling with enough jewels to fund three or four public charities or six regular colleges. There are twenty diamonds around the circle, each worth $7,500, totaling $150,000; two large center diamonds, $10,000 each, making $20,000; fifty-four smaller diamonds, set at the angles of the larger ones, each at $500; four crosses, each made up of twenty-five diamonds, costing $60,000; four large diamonds on top of the crosses, totaling $20,000; twelve diamonds in the fleur-de-lis, worth $50,000; eighteen smaller diamonds in the same, totaling $10,000; pearls, diamonds, etc., on the arches and crosses, costing $50,000; plus one hundred forty-one small diamonds, valued at $25,000; twenty-six diamonds in the upper cross, worth $15,500; and two circles of pearls around the rim, totaling $15,000. The value of the stones in the crown, not including the metal, is therefore nearly half a million dollars.
AN ARMY OF WOMEN.
In the army of the Chinese rebels, there were in 1853, in Nanking alone, about half a million of women, collected from various parts of the country and formed into brigades of thirteen thousand, under female officers. Of these, ten thousand were picked women, drilled and garrisoned in the city; the rest were compelled to undergo the drudgery of digging moats, making earth works, erecting batteries, &c.
In the army of the Chinese rebels in 1853, there were about half a million women in Nanking alone, gathered from various parts of the country and organized into brigades of thirteen thousand, led by female officers. Of these, ten thousand were selected women, trained and stationed in the city; the rest were forced to perform the laborious tasks of digging moats, building defenses, setting up batteries, etc.
THE STAR IN THE EAST.
Under the influence of a conjunction of Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars, which took place in the year 1604, Kepler was led to think that he had discovered means for determining the true year of our Saviour’s birth. He made his calculations, and found that Jupiter and Saturn were in conjunction in the constellation of the Fishes (a fish is the astrological symbol of Judæa) in the latter half of the year of Rome 747, and were joined by Mars in 748. Here then he fixed the first figure in the date of our era, and here he found the appearance in the heavens which induced the magi to undertake their journey, and conducted them successfully on their way. Others have taken up this view, freed it from astrological impurities, and shown its trustworthiness and applicability in the case under consideration. It appears that Jupiter and Saturn came together for the first time on May 20th in the twentieth degree of the constellation of the Fishes. They then stood before sunrise in the eastern part of the heavens, and so were seen by the magi. Jupiter then passed by Saturn towards the north. About the middle of September they were near midnight both in opposition to the sun, Saturn in the thirteenth, Jupiter in the fifteenth degree, being distant from each other about a degree and a half. They then drew nearer: on October 27th there was a second conjunction in the sixteenth degree, and on November 12th there took place a third conjunction in the fifteenth degree of the same constellation. In the last two conjunctions the interval between the planets amounted to no more than a degree, so that to the unassisted eye the rays of the one planet were absorbed in those of the other, and the two bodies would appear as one. The two planets went past each other three times, came very near together, and showed themselves all night long for months in conjunction with each other, as if they would never separate again. Their first union in the east awoke the attention of the magi, told them the expected time had come, and bade them set off without delay towards Judæa (the fish land). When they reached 448Jerusalem the two planets were once more blended together. Then, in the evening, they stood in the southern part of the sky, pointing with their united rays to Bethlehem, where prophecy declared the Messiah was to be born. The magi followed the finger of heavenly light, and were brought to the child Jesus. The conclusion in regard to the time of the advent is that our Lord was born in the latter part of the year of Rome 747, or six years before the common era.
Under the influence of the conjunction of Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars in 1604, Kepler believed he had found a way to determine the exact year of Jesus's birth. He calculated that Jupiter and Saturn were aligned in the constellation of Pisces (which symbolizes Judea) in the latter half of the year 747 A.U.C., and Mars joined them in 748. This became the first marker for our calendar era, and he identified the celestial event that prompted the magi to embark on their journey, guiding them along the way. Others have built upon this idea, removing astrological distortions, and demonstrated its reliability and relevance in this context. It appears that Jupiter and Saturn aligned for the first time on May 20th, positioned in the eastern sky during dawn, making them visible to the magi. Jupiter then moved past Saturn towards the north. Around mid-September, both planets were seen at midnight, opposite the sun, with Saturn at the thirteenth degree and Jupiter at the fifteenth, about a degree and a half apart. They then moved closer together: on October 27th, there was a second alignment at the sixteenth degree, and on November 12th, a third alignment at the fifteenth degree in the same constellation. During the last two alignments, the distance between the planets was less than a degree, so to the naked eye, their light merged, making them appear as one. The two planets passed each other three times, came very close together, and were visible all night for months in alignment, as if they would never part again. Their first meeting in the east captured the magi’s attention, signaling that the anticipated time had arrived and urging them to travel promptly to Judea (the land of fish). When they arrived in Jerusalem, the two planets aligned again. In the evening, they appeared in the southern sky, directing their combined light toward Bethlehem, where prophecy stated that the Messiah would be born. The magi followed this celestial guidance and found the child Jesus. The conclusion regarding the timing of the advent is that our Lord was born in the latter part of the year 747 A.U.C., or six years before the common era.
A recent writer of considerable merit, Wieseler (Chronolog. Synop. der 4 Evangelien.) has applied this theory of Kepler in conjunction with a discovery that he has made from some Chinese astronomical tables, which show that in the year of Rome 750 a comet appeared in the heavens, and was visible for seventy days. Wieseler’s opinion is that the conjunction of the planets excited and fixed the attention of the magi, but that their guiding-star was the aforesaid comet.
A recent writer of significant merit, Wieseler (Chronological Synopsis of the 4 Gospels.), has utilized Kepler's theory alongside a discovery he made from some Chinese astronomical tables, which indicate that in the year 750 A.U.C. (Ab Urbe Condita) a comet appeared in the sky and was visible for seventy days. Wieseler believes that the conjunction of the planets caught the attention of the magi, but that their guiding star was the mentioned comet.
DIPLOMATIC COSTUME.
Dr. Franklin, it is well known, gained great praise for wearing an ordinary plain suit, instead of a gold embroidered Court costume, when formally presented to King Louis XVI. In reference to this anecdote, Nathaniel Hawthorne, in his notebook states that he was told by an aged lady, in England, that the circumstance above mentioned arose from the fact that Franklin’s tailor disappointed him of his Court suit, and that he wore his plain one with great reluctance, because he had no other. Franklin, it is said, having by his mishap made a successful impression, continued to wear his plain dress through policy. Thus we have another dissipation of one of those pleasant fictions which have been transmitted by the historian and the painter. It is like the apocryphal story of Franklin reading the prayer of Habakkuk to an assembly of French infidels, who are said to have pronounced it one of the finest compositions they had ever heard, and to have eagerly inquired where it might be found.
Dr. Franklin, as we all know, received a lot of praise for wearing a simple, plain suit instead of an ornate, gold-embroidered court outfit when he was formally presented to King Louis XVI. In relation to this story, Nathaniel Hawthorne mentions in his notebook that an elderly lady in England told him that the situation arose because Franklin's tailor let him down with his court suit, and he wore his plain one out of necessity and reluctance. It’s said that after making a positive impression by accident, Franklin continued to wear his plain attire for strategic reasons. So, we see another breakdown of one of those charming myths that have been passed down by historians and artists. It’s similar to the apocryphal tale of Franklin reading the prayer of Habakkuk to a group of French skeptics, who supposedly declared it one of the finest pieces they had ever heard and eagerly asked where it could be found.
INSTANCES OF REMARKABLE LONGEVITY.
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.—Psalm xc. 10.
The days of our lives are seventy years; and if we live to be eighty, our strength is still filled with hard work and pain; for it quickly comes to an end, and we vanish away.—Psalm 90:10.
Haller has noted one thousand cases of centenarians: sixty-two of from 110 to 120 years; twenty-nine of from 120 to 130; and fifteen who had attained from 130 to 140 years. Beyond this advanced age, well-authenticated examples of longevity are very rare. The case of Henry Jenkins, the Yorkshire fisherman, who died in December, 1670, at the age of 169, is one of the most remarkable. He is buried in the church of Bolton-upon-Swale, where may be found a long inscription, chiefly referring to his humble position in life and his patriarchal age. That of Thomas Parr is also well known. He was first married at the age of 80, and afterwards at 122, and died in 1635, aged 152. He was a farmer, and up to the age of 130 was able to dig, plough, and thrash. Had he continued his simple and abstemious habits, his life would probably have been prolonged a considerable period; but the luxurious living of the court of Charles I., at which his latter years were spent, occasioned a plethoric condition which hastened his end. The famous Harvey dissected him after death, and found no appearance of decay in any organ.
Haller has documented one thousand cases of centenarians: sixty-two lived between 110 and 120 years; twenty-nine from 120 to 130; and fifteen who reached between 130 and 140 years. After this advanced age, well-substantiated examples of longevity are extremely rare. One of the most remarkable cases is Henry Jenkins, the Yorkshire fisherman, who died in December 1670 at the age of 169. He is buried in the church of Bolton-upon-Swale, where there is a long inscription mainly highlighting his humble status in life and his patriarchal age. The case of Thomas Parr is also well known. He got married for the first time at age 80, and again at 122, and passed away in 1635, at the age of 152. He was a farmer, and until he was 130, he was still able to dig, plow, and thresh. If he had maintained his simple and moderate lifestyle, he probably would have lived much longer, but the luxurious life at the court of Charles I., where he spent his later years, led to a condition that hastened his death. The famous Harvey performed an autopsy on him after his death and found no signs of decay in any organ.
The following list of instances of very advanced age is given on the authority of Prichard, Whitehurst, Bailey, and others:—
The following list of examples of very advanced age is provided based on the authority of Prichard, Whitehurst, Bailey, and others:—
Died. | Age. | |
---|---|---|
Apollonius of Tyana | CE 99 | 130 |
St. Patrick | 491 | 122 |
Attila | 500 | 124 |
Llywarch Hên | 500 | 150 |
St. Coemgene | 618 | 120 |
St. Mongah, or Kentigern | 781 | 185 |
Piastus, King of Poland | 861 | 120 |
Countess of Desmond | 1612 | 145 |
Thomas Parr | 1635 | 152 |
Thomas Damme | 1648 | 154 |
450Dr. Mead, Hertfordshire | 1652 | 148 |
James Bowles, Kenilworth | 1656 | 152 |
Henry Jenkins | 1670 | 169 |
William Edwards[16] | 1688 | 168 |
Petrarch Czartan | 1724 | 185 |
Margaret Patten | 1739 | 137 |
John Roven | 1741 | 172 |
Mrs. John Roven | 1741 | 164 |
John Effingham, Cornwall | 144 | |
Thomas Winslow, a captain of Cromwell | 1766 | 146 |
Draakenburg, a Dane | 1772 | 146 |
Jonas Warren, Ballydole | 1787 | 167 |
Jonas Surington, Bergen, Norway | 1797 | 159 |
Demetrius Grabowsky, Poland | 1830 | 169 |
Bridget Devine | 1845 | 147 |
Czartan’s biographer says of him:—He was born in the year 1539 and died January 5th, 1724, at Kofrosch, a village four miles from Temeswar. A few days before his death, being nearly 185 years old, he had walked, with the help of a stick, to the post-house at Kofrosch, to ask charity from the travellers. His eyes were much inflamed; but he still enjoyed a little sight. His hair and beard were of a greenish white color, like mouldy bread; and he had a few of his teeth remaining. His son, who was 97 years of age, declared that his father had once been a head taller; that at a great age he married for the third time, and that he was born in this last marriage. He was accustomed, 451agreeably to the rules of his religion, (Greek Church,) to observe fast-days with great strictness, and never to use any other food than milk, and certain cakes, called by the Hungarians collatschen, together with a good glass of brandy such as is made in the country.
Czartan’s biographer says of him:—He was born in 1539 and died on January 5, 1724, in Kofrosch, a village four miles from Temeswar. A few days before his death, at nearly 185 years old, he walked, with the help of a cane, to the post house in Kofrosch to ask for charity from travelers. His eyes were quite inflamed, but he still had some vision left. His hair and beard were a greenish-white color, like moldy bread, and he had a few teeth remaining. His son, who was 97 years old, said that his father had once been a head taller, that he married for the third time at an old age, and that he was born from this last marriage. He was used to observing fast days very strictly according to his religion (Greek Church) and would only eat milk and certain cakes, called by the Hungarians collatschen, along with a strong glass of locally made brandy.
The Hungarian family of Roven affords an extraordinary example of long life. The father attained the age of 172, the wife, 164; they had been married 142 years, and their youngest child was 115; and such was the influence of habit and filial affection that this child was treated with all the severity of parental rigidity, and did not dare to act without his papa’s and mamma’s permission.
The Roven family from Hungary provides an amazing example of longevity. The father lived to be 172, the mother 164; they had been married for 142 years, and their youngest child was 115. The strong influence of routine and family love meant that this child was treated with strict parental discipline and didn't feel allowed to make any decisions without their papa’s and mamma’s approval.
Examples of great longevity are frequent in Russia. According to an official report, there were, in 1828, in the empire, 828 centenarians, of whom forty had exceeded 120 years; fifteen, 130; nine, 136; and three, 138 years. In the government of Moscow there died, in 1830, a man aged 150. In the government of Kieff, an old soldier died in 1844, at the age of 153. There lately died on an estate in the government of Viatka, a peasant named Michael Kniawelkis, who had attained the age of 137 years, 10 months, and 11 days. He was born in a village of the same district, married at the age of 19, and had had, by several wives, 32 children, one of whom, a daughter, is still living, at the age of 100. He never had any serious illness; some years before his death he complained that he could not read without glasses, but to the last day he retained the use of all his faculties, and was very cheerful. He frequently said that he thought death had forgotten him.
Examples of impressive longevity are common in Russia. According to an official report, in 1828, there were 828 centenarians in the empire, of whom forty had lived beyond 120 years; fifteen reached 130; nine lived to 136; and three made it to 138 years. In the Moscow region, a man died in 1830 at the age of 150. In the Kieff area, an old soldier passed away in 1844 at the age of 153. Recently, a peasant named Michael Kniawelkis died on an estate in the Viatka region at the age of 137 years, 10 months, and 11 days. He was born in a village in the same area, married at 19, and had 32 children with several wives, one of whom, a daughter, is still alive at 100. He never experienced any serious illness; a few years before his death, he mentioned that he couldn’t read without glasses, but until his last day, he kept all his faculties and was very cheerful. He often said he thought death had forgotten him.
In China, on the contrary, such instances are rare. From a census made a few years ago, we learn that out of a population of 369,000,000 there were but four centenarians.
In China, it's quite different; such cases are uncommon. A census conducted a few years back showed that out of a population of 369,000,000, there were only four centenarians.
According to the census of the United States, taken in 1830, there were 2,556 persons a hundred years old, or upwards. The census of 1850 exhibits nearly the same number. This gives one centenarian to a population of 9,000. From this census we also learn that the oldest person then living in the 452United States was 140. This was an Indian woman residing in North Carolina. In the same State was an Indian aged 125, a negro woman 111, two black slaves 110 each, one mulatto male 120, and several white males and females from 106 to 114. In the parish of Lafayette, La., was a female, black, aged 120. In several of the States there were found persons, white and black, aged from 110 to 115.
According to the United States census from 1830, there were 2,556 people who were 100 years old or older. The census from 1850 shows almost the same number. This means there was one centenarian for every 9,000 people. From this census, we also find out that the oldest person living in the United States at that time was 140. This was an Indian woman living in North Carolina. In the same state, there was another Indian who was 125, a Black woman who was 111, two Black slaves who were both 110, one mixed-race man who was 120, and several white men and women aged from 106 to 114. In Lafayette Parish, Louisiana, there was a Black woman who was 120. In several states, there were people, both White and Black, who were between 110 and 115 years old.
There is now living in Murray county, Georgia, on the waters of Holy Creek, a Revolutionary veteran, who has attained the age of 135. His name is John Hames. He is known throughout the region in which he lives by the appellative, “Gran’sir Hames.” He was born in Mecklenburg county, Virginia, and was a lad 10 years old when Washington was in his cradle. He was 32 when Braddock met his disastrous defeat on the Monongahela. He, with a number of his neighbors, set forth to join the ill-fated commander, but after several days’ march were turned back by the news of his overthrow. He migrated to South Carolina nearly 100 years ago. He was in thirteen considerable conflicts during the war of Independence, and in skirmishes and encounters with Indians, with tories, and with British, times beyond memory. He was with Gates at Camden, with Morgan at Cowpens, with Green at Hillsboro’ and Eutaw, and with Marion in many a bold rush into a tory camp or redcoat quarters.
There is currently a Revolutionary War veteran living in Murray County, Georgia, along the waters of Holy Creek, who has reached the age of 135. His name is John Hames. He’s known throughout the area as “Gran’sir Hames.” He was born in Mecklenburg County, Virginia, and was just 10 years old when Washington was born. He was 32 when Braddock suffered his disastrous defeat on the Monongahela. He, along with several neighbors, set out to join the unfortunate commander, but after a few days of marching, they were turned back by the news of his defeat. He moved to South Carolina nearly 100 years ago. He was involved in 13 significant battles during the War of Independence, as well as skirmishes and encounters with Indians, Tories, and British forces, countless times. He fought alongside Gates at Camden, Morgan at Cowpens, Greene at Hillsboro and Eutaw, and Marion in many daring assaults on Tory camps or British quarters.
At the time of the Eighth Census there were about 20,000 persons in the United States who were living when the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. They must necessarily have been more than eighty years old, in order to have lived at that time. The French Census of 1851 shows only 102 persons over 100 years old,—though the total population was nearly 36,000,000. Old age is therefore attained among us much more frequently than in France.
At the time of the Eighth Census, there were around 20,000 people in the United States who were alive when the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. They must have been over eighty years old to have experienced that moment. The French Census of 1851 recorded only 102 people over 100 years old, even though the total population was nearly 36 million. Therefore, reaching old age is much more common here than in France.
At Cordova, in South America, in the year of 1780, a judicial inquiry was instituted by the authorities to determine the age of a negress by the name of Louisa Truxo. She testified that she perfectly remembered Fernando Truxo, the bishop, who gave 453her as his contribution toward a university fund: he died in 1614. Another negress, who was known to be 120, testified that Louisa was an elderly woman when she was a child. On this evidence the authorities of Cordova concluded that Louisa was, as she asserted, 175 years old.
At Cordova, in South America, in 1780, the authorities started a legal inquiry to determine the age of a Black woman named Louisa Truxo. She testified that she clearly remembered Fernando Truxo, the bishop, who contributed to a university fund: he passed away in 1614. Another Black woman, who was confirmed to be 120, testified that Louisa was already an elderly woman when she was a child. Based on this evidence, the authorities of Cordova concluded that Louisa was, as she claimed, 175 years old.
Two cases are recorded by Mr. Bailey, in his Annals of Longevity, which throw all these into the shade; but the evidence furnished is inadequate and unsatisfactory. One is that of an Englishman, Thomas Cam, whom the parish register of Shoreditch affirms to have died in 1588, at the age of 207, having paid allegiance to twelve monarchs. The other is that of a Russian,—name not given,—whom the St. Petersburg Gazette mentioned as having died in 1812, at an age exceeding 200.
Two cases are documented by Mr. Bailey in his Annals of Longevity, which overshadow all these; however, the evidence provided is insufficient and unconvincing. One is about an Englishman, Thomas Cam, whose parish register in Shoreditch claims he died in 1588 at the age of 207, having served under twelve monarchs. The other is about a Russian—name not specified—who the St. Petersburg Gazette reported died in 1812 at an age over 200.
The following in relation to Cam is copied literally from the register of burials of St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch:—
The following about Cam is taken straight from the burial register of St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch:—
1588. | BURIALLES. | Fol. 35. |
Tom Cam was buriel * e y 22 inst. of |
||
Januarye, Aged 207 yeares. | ||
Holywell Street. | ||
Geo. Garrow, | ||
Copy, Aug’st 25, 1832. | Parish Clerk. |
In connection with the foregoing facts, it will be interesting to revert to the ages of the antediluvian patriarchs:—
In light of the previous information, it will be interesting to take a look back at the ages of the patriarchs before the flood:—
Years. | |
---|---|
Adam lived | 930 |
Seth | 912 |
Enos | 905 |
Canaan | 910 |
Mahalaleel | 895 |
Jared | 962 |
Enoch | 365 |
Methuselah | 969 |
Lamech | 777 |
Noah, who lived before and after the Deluge, in all | 950 |
454In Willet’s Hexapla, in Leviticum, is the following remarkable passage:—
454In Willet’s Hexapla, in Leviticum, there is this notable excerpt:—
Ludovicus Vives (in Aug. de Civit, Dei, lib. XV.) writeth of a town in Spain, consisting of about an hundred houses, all of them inhabited by the seed of one old man, then living; so that the youngest of them knew not what to call him: Quia lingua Hispana supra abavum non ascendit, because the Spanish tongue goeth no higher than the great-grandfather’s father. And Bas. Johan. Heroldus hath a pretty epigram of an aged matron that lived to see her children’s children to the sixth degree:—
Ludovicus Vives (in August, in the City of God, book XV.) writes about a town in Spain with around a hundred houses, all occupied by the descendants of one elderly man, who was still alive at the time; so much so that the youngest among them didn’t even know what to call him: Because the Spanish language does not go back beyond my great-grandfather., because the Spanish language doesn’t go back further than the great-grandfather’s father. And Bas. Johan. Heroldus has a charming epigram about an elderly woman who lived to see her great-great-grandchildren.
MEANS OF RECOGNITION.
When the English suite of Lord Macartney was invited to a grand entertainment in China, one of them, understanding that it was not expedient to venture upon every dish which appeared under the guise of the native cookery, was desirous of ascertaining how far he might venture with safety, and as the Chinese waiters could understand a little English, he pointed to a dish before him, and said to the attendant in an interrogative tone, “Quack-quack?” meaning to inquire if it was a duck. The attendant perfectly understood him, and immediately replied, with great solemnity and sincerity, “Bow-wow!”
When Lord Macartney's English entourage was invited to a lavish event in China, one member realized it wasn't wise to try every dish that came out of the local kitchen. He wanted to find out how much he could safely try, so he pointed to a dish in front of him and asked the waiter in a questioning tone, “Quack-quack?” to see if it was duck. The waiter completely understood him and replied, with great seriousness and sincerity, “Bow-wow!”
Rossini once unexpectedly met his old friend Sir Henry Bishop, but having at the moment forgotten his name, after puzzling and stammering for some time, he at length took him by the hand, and sang a few bars to prove he identified him through Bishop’s beautiful song, “Blow gentle gales.”
Rossini once unexpectedly ran into his old friend Sir Henry Bishop, but at that moment he couldn’t remember his name. After some confusion and stammering, he eventually took his hand and sang a few lines to show he recognized him from Bishop’s beautiful song, “Blow gentle gales.”
MARRIAGE VOW.
The matrimonial ceremony, like many others, has undergone some variation in the progress of time. Upwards of three centuries ago, the husband, on taking his wife by the right hand, thus addressed her; “I, A. B., undersygne thee, C. D., for my wedded wyfe, for beter, for worse, for richer, for porer, yn sekness, and in helthe, tyl dethe us departe, [not “do part,” as now erroneously rendered, departe formerly meaning to separate,] as holy churche hath ordeyned, and thereto I plyght thee my trowthe.” The wife replied in the same form, with an additional clause, “to be buxum to thee, tyl dethe us departe.” So it appears in the first edition of the Missals for the use of the famous and celebrated Church of Hereford, 1502. In the Salisbury Missal, the lady promised “to be bonere [debonnair] and buxum in bedde and at the borde.”
The wedding ceremony, like many others, has changed over time. More than three centuries ago, when the husband took his wife by the right hand, he said to her, “I, A. B., undersygne thee, C. D., as my wedded wife, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death us separate, [not “do part,” as it’s incorrectly said now, departe used to mean separate,] as holy church has ordained, and to that I pledge you my truth.” The wife responded in the same way, with an added line, “to be obedient to you, until death us separate.” This is shown in the first edition of the Missals for the use of the famous and celebrated Church of Hereford, 1502. In the Salisbury Missal, the woman promised “to be kind and obedient in bed and at the table.”
COMPOSITION IN DREAMS.
Condorcet is said to have attained the conclusion of some of his most abstruse unfinished calculations in his dreams. Franklin makes a similar admission concerning some of his political projects, which in his waking moments sorely puzzled him. Herschel composed the following lines in a dream:—
Condorcet reportedly reached conclusions on some of his most complex unfinished calculations in his dreams. Franklin shares a similar experience regarding some of his political ideas, which left him deeply bewildered while awake. Herschel wrote the following lines in a dream:—
Goethe says in his Memoirs, “The objects which had occupied my attention during the day often reappeared at night in connected dreams. On awakening, a new composition, or a portion of one I had already commenced, presented itself to my mind.” Coleridge composed his poem of the Abyssinian Maid during a dream. Cockburn says of Lord Jeffrey:—“He had a fancy that though he went to bed with his head stuffed with the names, dates, and other details of various causes, they were all in order in the morning; which he accounted for by saying that during sleep they all crystallized round their proper centres.”
Goethe writes in his Memoirs, “The things that captured my attention during the day often returned at night as connected dreams. When I woke up, a new idea, or a part of one I had already started, came to my mind.” Coleridge created his poem, Abyssinian Maid, in a dream. Cockburn notes about Lord Jeffrey:—“He believed that although he went to bed with his mind full of names, dates, and other details of different cases, everything was organized in the morning; he explained this by saying that during sleep, they all came together around their proper points.”
FACTS ABOUT SLEEP.
While I am asleep I have neither fear nor hope, neither trouble nor glory, and blessings on him who invented sleep, the mantle that covers all human thoughts; the food that appeases hunger; the drink that quenches thirst; the fire that warms cold; the cold that moderates heat; and lastly, the general coin that purchases all things; the balance and weight that makes the shepherd equal to the king, and the simple to the wise.—Sancho Panza.
While I'm asleep, I have no fear or hope, no worries or glory. Blessings on the one who invented sleep, the blanket that covers all human thoughts; the food that satisfies hunger; the drink that quenches thirst; the warmth that combats the cold; the chill that cools down the heat; and finally, the universal currency that buys everything; the balance and measure that makes a shepherd equal to a king and the simple equal to the wise.—Sancho Panza.
Sir Philip Sidney calls sleep “the poor man’s wealth,” and, he might have added, it is every man’s health. Men have often, according to their own notions, attempted to limit or extend the hours of sleep. Thus, the “immortal Alfred” of England divided the day into three portions of eight hours each, assigning one for refreshment and the health of the body by sleep, diet, and exercise, another for business, and the third for study and devotion. Bishop Taylor considered three hours’, and Richard Baxter four hours’, sleep sufficient for any man.
Sir Philip Sidney calls sleep “the poor man’s wealth,” and he could have added that it’s the health of every person. People have often tried to define how much sleep is enough or too much, based on their own ideas. For example, the “immortal Alfred” of England split the day into three parts of eight hours each, with one part for rest and health through sleep, food, and exercise, another for work, and the last for study and devotion. Bishop Taylor thought three hours of sleep was enough for anyone, while Richard Baxter believed four hours would suffice.
The error into which these and others have fallen arises not only from the fact that in this, as well as in other things, every man is a law to himself, but from the varying amount required in each individual case at different times, depending upon the amount of renovation required by the nervous and muscular systems. John Wesley, the distinguished founder of Methodism, who attained the age of eighty-eight, and who could command sleep on horseback, says very properly, in some curious remarks which he has left upon sleep, that no one measure will do for all, nor will the same amount of sleep suffice even for the same person at all times. A person debilitated by sickness requires more of “tired nature’s sweet restorer” than one in vigorous health. More sleep is also necessary when the strength and spirits are exhausted by hard labor or severe mental efforts. 457Whatever may be the case with some few persons, of a peculiar constitution, it is evident that health and vigor can scarcely be expected to continue long without six hours’ sleep in the four-and-twenty. Wesley adds that during his long life he never knew any individual who retained vigorous health for a whole year, with a less quantity of sleep than this.
The mistake that these people and others have made comes not just from the fact that everyone is their own authority in this area, but also from the different amounts needed in each individual case at various times, based on how much recovery is required by the nervous and muscular systems. John Wesley, the prominent founder of Methodism, who lived to be eighty-eight and could sleep while riding a horse, rightly states in his interesting comments on sleep that no single approach works for everyone, nor does the same amount of sleep work for the same person at all times. Someone weakened by illness needs more of “tired nature’s sweet restorer” than someone in good health. More sleep is also needed when strength and energy are drained by hard work or intense mental effort. 457Whatever might be true for a few individuals with unique constitutions, it’s clear that health and vigor can hardly be expected to last long without six hours of sleep within a twenty-four hour period. Wesley adds that in his long life, he never knew anyone who maintained good health for an entire year without getting at least this amount of sleep.
It is said that women, in general, require more sleep than men. This is doubtful: it is certain, at least, that women endure protracted wakefulness better than men. The degree of muscular and mental exertion to which the male is accustomed would seem to indicate that a longer period of rest ought to be required by him to admit of the necessary restoration of excitability. In infancy and youth, where the animal functions are extremely active, the necessity for sleep is greatest; in mature age, where time is more valued and cares are more numerous, it is less indulged; whilst the aged may be affected in two opposite ways; they may be either in a state of almost constant somnolency, or their sleep may be short and light.
It’s said that women generally need more sleep than men. This is questionable: it’s clear that women can handle being awake longer than men. The level of physical and mental effort that men are used to suggests that they would need more rest to restore their energy. In childhood and adolescence, when bodily functions are very active, the need for sleep is highest; in adulthood, where time is more precious and responsibilities are greater, people tend to sleep less; while older adults may experience two very different patterns: they might be almost always sleepy, or their sleep might be short and light.
There are some remarkable cases on record of deviations from the customary amount of sleep, making a “bed shorter than for an ordinary man to stretch himself upon, and a covering narrower than he can wrap himself in,” capacious enough for persons of very active habits in their waking hours. Many persons have reached advanced age without ever having had more than one or two hours’ sleep out of the twenty-four. There is one case of a man who, throughout his whole life, never slept more than fifteen minutes at one time. General Pichegru informed Sir Gilbert Blane that, in the course of his active campaigns, he had for a whole year not more than one hour of sleep in the twenty-four hours. Frederick of Prussia and Napoleon, as a general thing, only devoted three or four hours to sleep.
There are some incredible cases recorded of people needing much less sleep than normal, with a “bed shorter than what an ordinary man would need to stretch out on, and a covering narrower than he could wrap himself in,” yet still comfortable enough for very active individuals during their waking hours. Many people have lived into old age without ever sleeping more than one or two hours in a twenty-four-hour period. There’s one case of a man who, throughout his entire life, never slept for more than fifteen minutes at a time. General Pichegru told Sir Gilbert Blane that, during his active campaigns, he managed to get by for a whole year with only one hour of sleep in a twenty-four-hour period. Frederick of Prussia and Napoleon generally only slept three or four hours.
One can scarcely conceive a more horrible mode of torture than the Chinese plan of condemning criminals to death by preventing sleep. The victim is kept awake by guards alternately stationed for the purpose. His sufferings last from twelve to twenty days, when death comes to his relief.
One can hardly imagine a more terrible way to torture someone than the Chinese method of sentencing criminals to death by denying them sleep. The victim is kept awake by guards who take turns watching him. His suffering lasts from twelve to twenty days, until death eventually brings relief.
458The influence of habit in promoting or preventing sleep is remarkable. Those accustomed to the tranquillity of rural districts are excessively annoyed by the din of the carriages on the paved thoroughfares of a large city. It is said, on the other hand, that those who live near the cataracts of the Nile cannot sleep at a distance from them, owing to their having become accustomed to the noise, the stimulus of which upon the ear they lack. Some persons can only sleep in the dark; we knew a woman who slept habitually with a candle burning in her bedroom, and who invariably awoke if the light went out. Some of the soldiers of Bonaparte’s army would sleep, after extreme fatigue and exhaustion, on the ground by the side of a twenty-four pounder which was constantly firing. Some boys slept from fatigue on board of Nelson’s ship, at the battle of the Nile. We have heard of a boiler-maker who could go to sleep in a boiler while the workmen were constantly hammering the rivets.
458The impact of habit on sleep is astonishing. People used to the peacefulness of the countryside are greatly disturbed by the noise of carriages on the paved streets of a big city. On the flip side, those who live near the roaring waterfalls of the Nile find it hard to sleep anywhere else because they're so used to that noise. Some people can only sleep in complete darkness; we knew a woman who would always sleep with a candle lit in her room and would wake up if the light went out. Some of Napoleon’s soldiers would fall asleep on the ground next to a 24-pound cannon that was constantly firing after extreme fatigue. There were boys who, out of sheer exhaustion, slept on Nelson’s ship during the Battle of the Nile. We’ve even heard of a boiler-maker who could fall asleep in a boiler while the workers were hammering the rivets non-stop.
Sleep can persist with the exercise of certain muscles. Couriers on long journeys nap on horseback; and coachmen, on their boxes. Among the impressive incidents of Sir John Moore’s disastrous retreat to Corunna, in Spain, not the least striking is the recorded fact that many of his soldiers steadily pursued their march while fast asleep. Burdach, however, affirms that this is not uncommon among soldiers. Franklin slept nearly an hour swimming on his back. An acquaintance of Dr. D., travelling with a party in North Carolina, being greatly fatigued, was observed to be sound asleep in his saddle. His horse, being a better walker, went far in advance of the rest. On crossing a hill, they found him on the ground, snoring gently. His horse had fallen, as was evident from his bruised knees, and had thrown his rider on his head on a hard surface, without waking him.
Sleep can occur while using certain muscles. Couriers on long journeys will nap while riding their horses, and coach drivers do the same on their seats. Among the notable events during Sir John Moore’s disastrous retreat to Corunna in Spain, one striking fact is that many of his soldiers continued their march while fast asleep. Burdach, however, claims that this isn’t uncommon among soldiers. Franklin once slept for nearly an hour while floating on his back. An acquaintance of Dr. D., traveling with a group in North Carolina, was so exhausted that he was seen sound asleep in his saddle. His horse, which was a better walker, moved far ahead of the others. When they crossed a hill, they found him on the ground, snoring gently. His horse had fallen, as evident from its bruised knees, and had thrown its rider headfirst onto a hard surface without waking him.
Animals of the lower orders obey peculiar laws in regard to sleep. Fish are said to sleep soundly; and we are told by Aristotle that the tench may be taken in this state, if approached cautiously. Many birds and beasts of prey take their repose in the daytime. When kept in captivity, this habit undergoes 459a change,—which makes us doubt whether it was not the result of necessity, which demanded that they should take advantage of the darkness, silence, and the unguarded state of their victims. In the menagerie at Paris, even the hyena sleeps at night, and is awake by day. They all, however, seek, as favoring the purpose, a certain degree of seclusion and shade, with the exception of the lion, who, Burdach informs us, sleeps at noonday, in the open plain; and the eagle and condor will poise themselves on the most elevated pinnacle of rock, in the clear blue atmosphere and dazzling sunlight. Birds, however, are furnished with a winking membrane, generally, to shelter the eye from light. Fish prefer to retire to sleep under the shadow of a rock or a woody bank. Of domestic animals, the horse seems to require least sleep; and that he usually takes in the erect posture.
Animals in the lower categories follow strange rules when it comes to sleep. Fish are said to sleep deeply, and Aristotle tells us that the tench can be caught while in this state if you approach quietly. Many birds and predatory animals rest during the day. When kept in captivity, this behavior changes, making us wonder if it wasn’t a necessity that led them to take advantage of the darkness, silence, and the unprotected state of their prey. In the Paris zoo, even the hyena sleeps at night and is awake during the day. However, they all seek some level of seclusion and shade, except for the lion, who, according to Burdach, sleeps at midday out in the open field; and the eagle and condor prefer to perch on the highest rocks in the clear blue sky and bright sunlight. Birds usually have a protective membrane that helps shield their eyes from bright light. Fish like to sleep in the shade of a rock or a wooded bank. Among domestic animals, the horse seems to need the least sleep and often sleeps while standing up.
Birds that roost in a sitting posture are furnished with a well-adapted mechanism, which keeps them firmly supported without voluntary or conscious action. The tendon of the claws is so arranged as to be tightened by their weight when the thighs are bent, thus contracting closely and grasping the bough or perch. In certain other animals which sleep erect, the articulations of the foot and knee are described by Dumeril as resembling the spring of a pocket-knife, which opens the instrument and serves to keep the blade in a line with the handle.
Birds that rest while sitting have a special mechanism that keeps them securely in place without needing to think about it. The tendons in their claws tighten under their weight when they bend their thighs, allowing them to grip onto a branch or perch. In some other animals that sleep standing up, the joints in their feet and knees are described by Dumeril as similar to the spring of a pocket knife, which opens the tool and aligns the blade with the handle.
The following calculation is interesting. Suppose one boy aged ten years determines to rise at five o’clock all the year round. Another of the same age, indolent and fond of ease, rises at eight, or an average of eight, every morning. If they both live to be seventy years old, the one will have gained over the other, during the intervening period of sixty years, sixty-five thousand seven hundred and forty-five hours, which is equal to two thousand seven hundred and thirty-nine and a third days, or just seven and a half years. If a similar calculation were applied to the whole country, how many millions of years of individual usefulness would it prove to be lost to society!
The following calculation is interesting. Imagine one boy aged ten decides to wake up at five o’clock year-round. Another boy the same age, lazy and fond of comfort, wakes up at eight, or an average of eight, every morning. If they both live to be seventy years old, the first boy will have gained over the second, during the sixty years in between, sixty-five thousand seven hundred and forty-five hours, which equals two thousand seven hundred and thirty-nine and a third days, or just seven and a half years. If we applied a similar calculation to the entire country, how many millions of years of individual productivity would it show to have been lost to society!
OPIUM AND EAST INDIAN HEMP.
There is nothing in nature more curious and inexplicable than the influence on the circulating fluids, and through these on the brain and its functions, of various narcotic drugs. Among these, opium, and Cannabis Indica, or East Indian hemp, occupy the most prominent place. No reflective person can look into the writings of Coleridge, De Quincey, or Bayard Taylor, each of whom has experienced the effects of these drugs in his own person, and graphically described his sensations, thoughts, feelings, and dreams while under their influence, without being struck with awe and astonishment at the modifying and disturbing influences which these substances exert upon that mysterious connection which exists between the mind and the material medium through which it manifests itself. Take the following, for example, from the Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, which, not only for grandeur of description, but for psychological interest, is unsurpassed by any thing in the English language.
There’s nothing in nature more intriguing and puzzling than how different narcotic drugs affect our bodily fluids and, through them, the brain and its functions. Among these drugs, opium and Cannabis Indica, or East Indian hemp, stand out the most. Anyone who takes a moment to read the works of Coleridge, De Quincey, or Bayard Taylor—each of whom has felt the effects of these substances firsthand and vividly expressed their sensations, thoughts, feelings, and dreams while under their influence—can’t help but feel awe and amazement at the profound and unsettling effects these drugs have on the strange connection between the mind and the physical medium it uses to express itself. Take, for instance, the following excerpt from the Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, which is unparalleled in both its grand description and psychological insight in the English language.
“The dream commenced with a music which now I often heard in dreams,—a music of preparation and of awakening suspense; a music like the opening of the Coronation Anthem, and which, like that, gave the feeling of a vast march—of infinite cavalcades filing off, and the tread of innumerable armies. The morning was come of a mighty day—a day of crisis and of final hope for human nature, then suffering some mysterious eclipse and laboring in some dread extremity. Somewhere, I knew not where—somehow, I knew not how—by some beings, I knew not whom—a battle, a strife, an agony, was conducting,—was evolving like a great drama, or piece of music; with which my sympathy was the more insupportable from my confusion as to its place, its cause, its nature, and its possible issue. I, as is usual in dreams, (where, of necessity, we make 462ourselves central to every movement,) had the power, and yet had not the power, to decide it. I had the power, if I could raise myself, to will it; and yet again had not the power, for the weight of twenty Atlantics was upon me, or the oppression of inexpiable guilt.
The dream started with a piece of music I often hear in dreams—music that feels like a build-up and a tense anticipation; music reminiscent of the beginning of the Coronation Anthem, which, like that, creates a sense of a grand march—endless parades passing by, and the sound of countless armies marching. The morning had arrived on a significant day—a day of crisis and ultimate hope for humanity, which was then experiencing some mysterious darkness and struggling in a terrifying situation. Somewhere, I didn’t know where—somehow, I didn’t know how—by some beings, I didn’t know who—there was a battle, a conflict, an agony unfolding like a grand play or a piece of music; my feelings about it became even more unbearable because I was confused about its location, its reason, its nature, and its possible outcome. As is common in dreams, where we always find ourselves at the center of everything, I had the power, yet also lacked the power, to influence the outcome. I had the ability, if I could lift myself up, to will it; but still, I didn’t have the power, for it felt like the weight of twenty oceans was pressing down on me, or the burden of unpayable guilt.
“‘Deeper than ever plummet sounded,’ I lay inactive. Then, like a chorus, the passion deepened. Some greater interest was at stake,—some mightier cause than ever yet the sword had pleaded or trumpet had proclaimed. Then came sudden alarms; hurryings to and fro; trepidations of innumerable fugitives—I knew not whether from the good cause or the bad; darkness and lights; tempest and human faces; and, at last, with the sense that all was lost, female forms, and the features that were worth all the world to me, and but a moment allowed—and clasped hands, and heart-breaking partings, and then everlasting farewells! and, with a sigh such as the caves of hell sighed when the incestuous mother uttered the abhorred name of death, the sound was reverberated,—everlasting farewells! and again, and yet again, reverberated,—everlasting farewells! And I awoke in struggles, and cried aloud, ‘I will sleep no more!’”
“‘Deeper than ever the plunge sounded,’ I lay still. Then, like a chorus, the passion intensified. Something more important was at stake—some greater cause than anything the sword had argued or the trumpet had announced. Suddenly, alarms rang out; people rushed around; countless terrified people were fleeing—I didn’t know if they were running from a good cause or a bad one; darkness and light; storms and human faces; and finally, feeling that everything was lost, female figures appeared, and the features that meant everything to me, with only a moment to spare—and clasped hands, heart-wrenching farewells, and then eternal goodbyes! And with a sigh like that of the depths of hell when the incestuous mother spoke the despised name of death, the sound echoed—eternal goodbyes! Again and again, it echoed—eternal goodbyes! And I woke up struggling and shouted, ‘I will sleep no more!’”
De Quincey took laudanum for the first time to dispel pain, and he thus describes the effect it had upon him:—“But I took it, and in an hour, oh, heavens! what a revulsion! what an upheaving, from its lowest depths, of the inner spirit! what an apocalypse of the world within me! That my pains had vanished was now a trifle in my eyes. This negative effect was swallowed up in the immensity of those positive effects which had opened before me,—in the abyss of divine enjoyment thus suddenly revealed. Here was a panacea,—a φαρμακον νεπενθες for all human woes. Here was the secret of happiness, about which philosophers had disputed for so many ages, at once discovered! Happiness might now be bought for a penny and carried in the waistcoat-pocket; portable ecstasies might be had corked up in a pint bottle; and peace of mind could be sent down in gallons by the mail-coach.”
De Quincey took laudanum for the first time to relieve pain, and he describes the effect it had on him:—“But I took it, and in an hour, oh, wow! what a change! what an awakening, from its deepest depths, of the inner spirit! what a revelation of the world within me! That my pains had disappeared was now insignificant to me. This negative effect was overshadowed by the vastness of those positive effects that had opened up before me,—in the depth of divine enjoyment that had suddenly been revealed. Here was a cure-all,—a drug nepenthe for all human suffering. Here was the secret of happiness, which philosophers had debated for so long, finally discovered! Happiness could now be bought for a penny and carried in the pocket; portable ecstasies could be had corked up in a pint bottle; and peace of mind could be sent in bulk by the mail coach.”
463Dr. Madden describes more soberly his sensations when under the influence of the drug in one of the coffee-houses at Constantinople. “I commenced with one grain. In the course of an hour and a half it produced no perceptible effect. The coffee-house keeper was very anxious to give me an additional pill of two grains, but I was contented with half a one; and in another half-hour, feeling nothing of the expected revery, I took half a grain more, making in all two grains in the course of two hours. After two hours and a half from the first dose, my spirits became sensibly excited: the pleasure of the sensation seemed to depend on a universal expansion of mind and matter. My faculties appeared enlarged; every thing I looked at seemed increased in volume; I had no longer the same pleasure when I closed my eyes which I had when they were open; it appeared to me as if it was only external objects which were acted on by the imagination and magnified into images of pleasure: in short, it was the ‘faint, exquisite music of a dream’ in a waking moment. I made my way home as fast as possible, dreading at every step that I should commit some extravagance. In walking, I was hardly sensible of my feet touching the ground: it seemed as if I slid along the street impelled by some invisible agent, and that my blood was composed of some ethereal fluid, which rendered my body lighter than air. I got to bed the moment I reached home. The most extraordinary visions of delight filled my brain all night. In the morning I rose pale and dispirited; my head ached; my body was so debilitated that I was obliged to remain on the sofa all day, dearly paying for my first essay at opium-eating.”
463 Dr. Madden describes more soberly his sensations when under the influence of the drug in one of the coffee shops in Constantinople. “I started with one grain. After an hour and a half, I didn’t feel any noticeable effect. The coffee shop owner was eager to give me an extra pill of two grains, but I was satisfied with half of one; and after another half hour, feeling none of the expected dreamy state, I took half a grain more, totaling two grains over two hours. After two and a half hours from the first dose, my spirits noticeably lifted: the pleasure of the sensation seemed to come from a broadening of mind and matter. My abilities felt enhanced; everything I looked at appeared larger; I didn't get the same enjoyment when I closed my eyes as when they were open; it seemed like only external things were influenced by my imagination and blown up into images of pleasure: in short, it was the 'faint, exquisite music of a dream' during wakefulness. I hurried home, fearing with every step that I would do something foolish. While walking, I barely sensed my feet touching the ground: it felt like I was gliding along the street pushed by some invisible force, and my blood seemed made of some ethereal substance, making my body lighter than air. I jumped into bed as soon as I got home. The most extraordinary visions of bliss filled my mind all night. In the morning, I woke up pale and downcast; my head ached; my body was so weak that I had to stay on the sofa all day, paying dearly for my first try at opium-eating.”
These after-effects are the source of the misery of the opium-eater. The exciting influence of the drug is almost invariably followed by a corresponding depression. The susceptibility to external impressions and the muscular energy are both lessened. A desire for repose ensues, and a tendency to sleep. The mouth and throat also become dry; the thirst is increased; hunger diminishes; and the bowels usually become torpid.
These after-effects cause the suffering of the opium user. The stimulating effects of the drug are almost always followed by a drop in mood. The sensitivity to outside stimuli and physical energy both decrease. A craving for rest follows, along with a tendency to sleep. The mouth and throat also become dry; thirst increases; hunger decreases; and digestion usually slows down.
464When large doses are taken, all the above effects are hastened and heightened in proportion. The period of depression comes on sooner; the prostration of energy increases to actual stupor, with or without dreams; the pulse becomes feeble, the muscles exceedingly relaxed; and, if enough has been taken, death ensues.
464When large doses are taken, all the effects mentioned above occur faster and are more intense. The depressive phase sets in sooner; energy levels drop to the point of actual stupor, with or without dreams; the pulse weakens, the muscles become extremely relaxed; and, if enough is consumed, death results.
Of course, all these effects are modified by the constitution of the individual, by the length of time he has accustomed himself to take it, and by the circumstances in which he is placed. But upon all persons, and in all circumstances, its final effects, like those of ardent spirits taken in large and repeated doses, are equally melancholy and degrading. “A total attenuation of body,” says Dr. Oppenheim, “a withered, yellow countenance, a lame gait, a bending of the spine, frequently to such a degree as to assume a circular form, and glassy, deep-sunken eyes, betray the opium-eater at the first glance. The digestive organs are in the highest degree disturbed: the sufferer eats scarcely any thing, and has hardly one evacuation in a week. His mental and bodily powers are destroyed: he is impotent.”
Of course, all these effects are influenced by the individual's constitution, how long they've been taking it, and the circumstances they are in. However, for everyone and in every situation, the ultimate effects, similar to those of alcohol consumed in large and frequent quantities, are equally sad and degrading. “A complete wasting of the body,” says Dr. Oppenheim, “a withered, yellow face, a limp walk, a hunched back, often to the point of becoming rounded, and glassy, deeply sunken eyes, reveal the opium user at first glance. The digestive system is severely disturbed: the person eats hardly anything and has barely one bowel movement a week. Their mental and physical abilities are ruined: they are powerless.”
The influence upon the mental faculties of Haschisch, or East Indian hemp, when taken in large doses, is no less extraordinary than that of opium.
The effect of Hashish, or East Indian hemp, on the mind when consumed in large amounts is just as remarkable as that of opium.
That accomplished traveller, Bayard Taylor, when in Damascus, “prompted,” as he says, “by that insatiable curiosity which led him to prefer the acquisition of all lawful knowledge through the channel of his own experience,” was induced to make a trial of this drug. Not knowing the strength of the preparation he employed, he found himself, shortly after taking the second dose, more thoroughly and completely under the influence of the drug than was either pleasant or safe.
That experienced traveler, Bayard Taylor, when he was in Damascus, “driven,” as he puts it, “by that endless curiosity that made him want to gain all acceptable knowledge through his own experiences,” was tempted to try this drug. Not knowing the potency of the preparation he used, he discovered, shortly after taking the second dose, that he was much more deeply under the influence of the drug than was either enjoyable or safe.
Speaking of the effects of the stronger dose, he says, “The same fine nervous thrill of which I have spoken suddenly shot through me. But this time it was accompanied with a burning sensation at the pit of the stomach; and, instead of growing upon me with the gradual pace of healthy slumber, and resolving me, as before, into air, it came with the intensity of a 465pang, and shot throbbing along the nerves to the extremities of my body. The sense of limitation—the confinement of our senses within the bounds of our own flesh and blood—instantly fell away. The walls of my frame were burst outward, and tumbled into ruin; and, without thinking what form I wore,—losing sight even of all idea of form,—I felt that I existed throughout a vast extent of space. The blood pulsed from my heart, sped through uncounted leagues before it reached my extremities; the air drawn into my lungs expanded into seas of limpid ether; and the arch of my skull was broader than the vault of heaven. Within the concave that held my brain were the fathomless deeps of blue; clouds floated there, and the winds of heaven rolled them together; and there shone the orb of the sun. It was—though I thought not of that at the time—like a revelation of the mystery of Omnipresence.”
Speaking of how the stronger dose felt, he says, “The same thrilling rush I mentioned before suddenly shot through me. But this time it came with a burning sensation in my stomach; instead of gradually easing into a peaceful sleep and dissolving me into nothing, it hit me with an intense pang that throbbed through my nerves to the ends of my body. The feeling of limitation—the constraint of our senses within our own flesh—instantly disappeared. The walls of my body burst outward and collapsed; and without even thinking about what form I had—losing any idea of shape—I felt that I existed across an immense expanse of space. My blood pumped from my heart, traveling through countless distances before it reached my extremities; the air I breathed filled my lungs and expanded into vast seas of clear ether; and the arch of my skull felt wider than the sky above. Inside the dome that contained my brain were unfathomable depths of blue; clouds floated there, and the winds of the heavens swirled them together; and there shone the sun. It was—though I didn’t think of it at the time—like a revelation of the mystery of Omnipresence.”
EFFECTS OF FEAR.
It is a common practice, in many parts of India, to oblige persons suspected of crimes to chew dry rice in presence of the officers of the law. Curious as it may appear, such is the intense influence of fear on the salivary glands, that, if they are actually guilty, there is no secretion of saliva in the mouth, and chewing is impossible. Such culprits generally confess without any further efforts. On the contrary, a consciousness of innocence allows of a proper flow of fluid for softening the rice.
It’s common in many parts of India to make people suspected of crimes chew dry rice in front of law enforcement officers. As strange as it sounds, fear has a strong effect on the salivary glands, so if they are actually guilty, they can’t produce saliva, making chewing impossible. These offenders usually confess without any additional pressure. On the other hand, those who are innocent can produce enough saliva to soften the rice.
Many of our readers are familiar with the case of the thief to whom, in common with other suspected persons, a stick of a certain length was given, with the assurance that the stick of the thief would grow by supernatural power. The culprit, imagining that his stick had actually increased in length, broke a piece off, and was thus detected. A similar anecdote is told of a farmer who detected depredations on his corn-bin by calling his men together and making them mix up a quantity of feathers in a sieve, assuring them, at the same time, that the feathers would infallibly stick to the hair of the thief. After 466a short time, one of the men raised his hand repeatedly to his head, and thus betrayed himself.
Many of our readers are familiar with the story of the thief who, like other suspected individuals, was given a stick of a certain length, with the promise that the thief's stick would magically grow longer. The thief, convinced that his stick had indeed lengthened, broke off a piece and got caught. A similar story is told about a farmer who noticed that someone was stealing from his corn-bin. He gathered his workers and had them mix feathers in a sieve, claiming that the feathers would definitely stick to the thief's hair. After a little while, one of the men repeatedly touched his head, giving himself away.
A Parisian physician, during his visits made in a hired fly, had received a bottle of real Jamaica rum as a sample, but found, after returning home, that he had left it in the carriage. He went to the office, and informed the manager that he had left a virulent poison in one of the carriages, and desired him to prevent any of the coachmen from drinking it. Hardly had he got back when he was summoned in great haste to three of these worthies, who were suffering from the most horrible colic; and great was his difficulty in persuading them that they had only stolen some most excellent rum.
A doctor in Paris, during his visits in a rented carriage, had received a bottle of authentic Jamaica rum as a sample, but after getting home, he realized he had left it in the carriage. He went to the office and told the manager that he had left a dangerous poison in one of the carriages and asked him to make sure none of the drivers drank it. Barely had he returned home when he was urgently called to three of these men, who were experiencing severe stomach pain; and it was quite challenging for him to convince them that they had merely stolen some really good rum.
One of the most singular examples on record of the effect of fear acting through the imagination is given by Breschet, a French author of the sixteenth century, who informs us that the physicians at Montpellier, which was then a great school of medicine, had every year two criminals, the one living, the other dead, delivered to them for dissection. On one occasion they determined to try what effect the mere expectation of death would produce upon a subject in perfect health; and in order to carry out the experiment they told the gentleman (for such was his rank) who was placed at their discretion, that, as the easiest mode of taking away his life, they would employ the means which Seneca had chosen for himself, and would therefore open his veins in warm water. Accordingly they covered his face, pinched his feet, without lancing them, and set them in a footbath, and then spoke to each other as if they saw that the blood was flowing freely, and life departing with it. The man remained motionless; and when, after a while, they uncovered his face, they found him dead.
One of the most unique examples on record of how fear can impact the imagination comes from Breschet, a French author from the sixteenth century. He tells us that the doctors at Montpellier, which was a leading medical school at the time, received two criminals every year for dissection—one alive and one dead. On one occasion, they decided to see what purely expecting death would do to a person in perfect health. To conduct this experiment, they informed the gentleman (who was of noble status) that, to make it easy to take his life, they would use the method Seneca chose for himself, which involved cutting his veins in warm water. They then covered his face, pinched his feet without cutting them, and placed them in a footbath. After that, they spoke to each other as if they could see the blood flowing freely and life fading away. The man remained still, and when they uncovered his face after a while, they discovered he was dead.
FACIAL EXPRESSION.
The facial nerve, which presides over the movements of the face, gives to the physiognomy its different expressions so as to reflect the passions and emotions of the soul. To prove this experimentally, Charles Bell took the most cunning and impressionable 467monkey he could find in the menagerie of Exeter Change, and divided its facial nerve on one side. Excited by pain, the poor monkey made faces with tenfold energy, but exactly and solely with one side of his face, while the other remained perfectly impassible.
The facial nerve, which controls facial movements, gives our faces various expressions that reflect our feelings and emotions. To demonstrate this, Charles Bell found the most clever and impressionable monkey in the Exeter Change menagerie and cut its facial nerve on one side. In pain, the poor monkey made exaggerated faces, but only on one side of its face, while the other side stayed completely still.
Of course, no one would repeat this experiment on man; but nature sometimes takes the whim to make such a curiosity. All who saw the unfortunate monkey were struck with the strange analogy which its features presented with those of a comic actor then much in vogue in London, who could reproduce all sorts of expressions and mirror every passion with one side of his face, while he kept the other side in a state of perfect immobility. The experiment of Charles Bell gave the key to the enigma. The mimic was the victim of a facial hemiplegia, from some accident to the facial nerve; and he had the shrewdness to make people believe that voluntary which he could not prevent, and thus to profit by an otherwise mortifying affliction.
Of course, no one would repeat this experiment on a human; but sometimes nature takes the opportunity to create such a curiosity. Everyone who saw the unfortunate monkey was struck by the strange resemblance its features had to a popular comic actor in London at the time, who could display all sorts of expressions and mirror every emotion on one side of his face while keeping the other side perfectly still. Charles Bell's experiment provided the explanation. The actor was actually a victim of facial hemiplegia due to an accident affecting his facial nerve; he cleverly made people believe that his expressions were intentional, which he couldn’t control, and managed to benefit from what would otherwise be a humiliating condition.
A BROKEN HEART.
The following interesting case of a literally broken heart was related by a late distinguished medical professor of Philadelphia, to his class, while lecturing upon the diseases of the heart. It will be seen, on perusing it, that the expression “broken-hearted” is not merely figurative.
The following intriguing case of a literally broken heart was shared by a well-known medical professor from Philadelphia to his class while discussing heart diseases. As you read through it, you'll realize that the term “broken-hearted” is not just a figure of speech.
In the early part of his career, Dr. Mitchell accompanied, as surgeon, a packet that sailed between Liverpool and one of our Southern ports. On the return-voyage, soon after leaving Liverpool, while the doctor and the captain of the vessel, a weather-beaten son of Neptune, but possessed of uncommonly fine feelings and strong impulses, were conversing in the latter’s state-room, the captain opened a large chest, and carefully took out a number of articles of various descriptions, which he arranged upon a table. Dr. M., surprised at the display of costly jewels, ornaments, dresses, and all the varied paraphernalia of which ladies are naturally fond, inquired of 468the captain his object in having made so many valuable purchases. The sailor, in reply, said, that for seven or eight years he had been devotedly attached to a lady, to whom he had several times made proposals of marriage, but was as often rejected; that her refusal to wed him, however, had only stimulated his love to greater exertion; and that finally, upon renewing his offer, declaring in the ardency of his passion that, without her society, life was not worth living for, she consented to become his bride upon his return from his next voyage. He was so overjoyed at the prospect of a marriage from which, in the warmth of his feelings, he probably anticipated more happiness than is usually allotted to mortals, that he spent all his ready money, while in London, for bridal gifts. After gazing at them fondly for some time, and remarking on them in turn, “I think this will please Annie,” and “I am sure she will like that,” he replaced them with the utmost care. This ceremony he repeated every day during the voyage; and the doctor often observed a tear glisten in his eye as he spoke of the pleasure he would have in presenting them to his affianced bride. On reaching his destination, the captain arrayed himself with more than his usual precision, and disembarked as soon as possible, to hasten to his love. As he was about to step into the carriage awaiting him, he was called aside by two gentlemen who desired to make a communication, the purport of which was that the lady had proved unfaithful to the trust reposed in her, and had married another, with whom she had decamped shortly before. Instantly the captain was observed to clap his hand to his breast and fall heavily to the ground. He was taken up, and conveyed to his room on the vessel. Dr. M. was immediately summoned; but, before he reached the poor captain, he was dead. A post-mortem examination revealed the cause of his unfortunate decease. His heart was found literally torn in twain! The tremendous propulsion of the blood, consequent upon such a violent nervous shock, forced the powerful muscular tissues asunder, and life was at an end. The heart was broken.
In the early part of his career, Dr. Mitchell served as a surgeon on a ship that traveled between Liverpool and one of our Southern ports. On the return trip, shortly after leaving Liverpool, while the doctor and the captain of the ship—an experienced sailor with a tough exterior but surprisingly good emotions and strong instincts—were talking in the captain's cabin, the captain opened a large chest and carefully took out several items of various kinds, which he laid out on a table. Dr. Mitchell, surprised by the display of expensive jewels, accessories, dresses, and all the things that women usually love, asked the captain why he had made so many valuable purchases. The captain explained that for seven or eight years, he had been deeply in love with a woman, to whom he had proposed several times, but she had always turned him down. However, her refusal only fueled his love more, and when he proposed again, expressing with great passion that life without her wasn't worth living, she finally agreed to marry him upon his return from his next voyage. He was so thrilled about the upcoming marriage, which he probably expected would bring him more happiness than most people experience, that he spent all his available money on wedding gifts while in London. After gazing lovingly at them for a while and saying things like, "I think Annie will love this," and "I'm sure she'll like that," he carefully put them back. He repeated this ritual every day during the voyage, and Dr. Mitchell often noticed a tear in the captain's eye as he talked about the joy he would feel giving them to his fiancée. When they reached their destination, the captain dressed more carefully than usual and rushed to leave the ship to see his love. Just as he was about to get into the carriage waiting for him, two gentlemen stopped him to share some news: the woman had betrayed his trust and married someone else, with whom she had run off just before. The captain immediately clutched his chest and collapsed heavily on the ground. He was taken back to his cabin on the ship. Dr. Mitchell was called right away, but before he could reach the poor captain, he was dead. A post-mortem examination revealed the cause of his tragic death. His heart was found literally torn in half! The intense rush of blood caused by such a severe emotional shock had ripped the powerful muscle apart, and life was over. The heart was broken.
SENSATION AND INTELLIGENCE AFTER DECAPITATION.
While some physiologists are of opinion that death by beheading is attended with less actual pain than any other manner of death, and is, therefore, the most humane mode of dis-embarrassing society of a villain, others contend, and adduce an equally formidable array of facts to show, that intense agony is experienced, after decollation, in both the head and the body, and that death by the guillotine, so far from being easier than hanging, is one of the most painful known. Whatever may really be the sensations attendant upon the separation of the head from the body, we have, at least, some curious facts, which throw a little light on the subject.
While some physiologists believe that death by beheading involves less pain than any other method of execution and is therefore the most compassionate way to rid society of a villain, others argue, presenting a strong set of facts, that extreme agony is felt in both the head and the body after decapitation. They assert that death by guillotine is, in fact, one of the most painful methods, rather than easier than hanging. Regardless of the true sensations experienced during the separation of the head from the body, there are some interesting facts that offer insight into the matter.
It is related that a professor of physiology at Genoa, who has made this interesting subject his particular study, states that, having exposed two heads, a quarter of an hour after decollation, to a strong light, the eyelids closed suddenly. The tongue, which protruded from the lips, being pricked with a needle, was drawn back into the mouth, and the countenance expressed sudden pain. The head of a criminal named Tillier being submitted to examination after the guillotine, the eyes turned in every direction from whence he was called by name.
It is reported that a physiology professor in Genoa, who has focused on this intriguing subject, claims that after exposing two heads to bright light just fifteen minutes after beheading, the eyelids suddenly closed. When the tongue, which was sticking out of the lips, was poked with a needle, it retracted back into the mouth, and the face showed immediate signs of pain. During the examination of a criminal named Tillier after he was executed by guillotine, his eyes moved in all directions when someone called his name.
Fontenelle declares that he has frequently seen the heads of guillotined persons move their lips, as if they were uttering remonstrances against their cruel treatment. If this be so, there is nothing very incredible in the report, sometimes treated as fabulous, that when the executioner gave a blow on the face of Charlotte Corday after the head was severed from the body, the countenance expressed violent indignation.
Fontenelle claims that he often saw the heads of people who were guillotined move their lips, as if they were protesting their brutal treatment. If that’s true, there’s nothing particularly unbelievable about the story, sometimes considered exaggerated, that when the executioner struck Charlotte Corday's face after her head was detached from her body, the expression showed intense anger.
It is stated on credible authority that some galvanic experiments were once tried on the body of a habitual snuff-taker, after he had undergone the operation of being guillotined. On receiving the first shock, the headless trunk joined its thumb and fore-finger, and deliberately raised its right arm, as if in the act of taking its customary pinch, and seemed much astonished and perplexed at finding no nose to receive its wonted tribute!
It is reported by reliable sources that some electrical experiments were once conducted on the body of a regular snuff user after he had been executed by guillotine. After the first shock, the headless body joined its thumb and index finger and raised its right arm, as if to take its usual pinch, and appeared quite surprised and confused to find no nose to receive its accustomed offering!
470But the most marvellous tale is told of Sir Everard Digby, who was beheaded in 1600 for being concerned in the famous Gunpowder Plot. After the head was struck off, the executioner proceeded, according to the barbarous usages of the day, to pluck the heart from his body; and when he had done so, he held it up in full view of the numerous assemblage gathered round the scaffold to witness the exhibition, and shouted, with a loud voice, This is the heart of a traitor! Upon which, the head, which was quietly resting on the scaffold, at the distance of a few feet, showed sundry signs of indignation, and, opening its mouth, audibly exclaimed, “That is a lie!”
470But the most incredible story is about Sir Everard Digby, who was executed in 1600 for his involvement in the notorious Gunpowder Plot. After his head was severed, the executioner, following the brutal customs of the time, removed the heart from his body. Once he did that, he held it up for the large crowd gathered around the scaffold to see and shouted loudly, This is the heart of a traitor! At that moment, the head, which was resting a few feet away on the scaffold, showed signs of anger and, opening its mouth, proclaimed loudly, “That is a lie!”
The reader will be reminded, by this case of the English knight, of the conjurer in the Arabian Nights, who, in consequence of a failure in his necromancy, was decapitated by the order and in the presence of the Sultan. The head of the sorcerer, after separation from his body, sat erect upon the floor, and, with a mysterious expression of countenance, informed his highness that as he rather thought he should have no further occasion for his books of magic, he would make a present of them to him; and since he could not very well go to fetch them himself, if his highness would take the trouble to send for them, he would instruct him in their use. On being brought, he told the Sultan it was first necessary for him to turn over every leaf in the books from the beginning to the end. But he found it was impossible to do this, as they stuck together, without often wetting his fingers at his mouth. This infused into the monarch’s veins a subtle and virulent venom, as the books were poisoned, in consequence of which he died very soon in torture, overwhelmed with the taunts and curses of the decapitated head.
The reader will be reminded, by this case of the English knight, of the magician in the Arabian Nights, who, due to a failure in his magic, was beheaded by the Sultan. The sorcerer's head, after being separated from his body, sat upright on the floor and, with a mysterious expression, told the Sultan that since he wouldn't be needing his magical books anymore, he would gift them to him; and since he couldn't go get them himself, if the Sultan would just send for them, he would teach him how to use them. When the books were brought, he told the Sultan that he needed to flip through every page from the start to the end. But he found it impossible to do this because the pages were stuck together, and he had to keep wetting his fingers with his mouth. This sent a subtle and deadly poison into the king's veins since the books were poisoned, causing him to die soon in agony, overwhelmed by the taunts and curses of the decapitated head.
A case occurred some years ago at Ticonderoga, N. Y., which settles the question of pain, so far as the body is concerned, and proves that no sensations whatever can exist in the body after its connection with the brain is dissolved. It was reported at the time in the Boston Medical and Surgical Journal, as follows:—
A case happened a few years ago in Ticonderoga, N. Y., that settles the issue of pain concerning the body and demonstrates that no sensations can exist in the body once its connection to the brain is severed. It was reported at the time in the Boston Medical and Surgical Journal, stating:—
471E. D., aged fifty, a man of hale constitution and robust, in making an effort to scale a board fence, was suddenly precipitated backwards to the ground, striking first upon the superior and anterior portion of the head, which luxated the dentatus anteriorly on the third cervical vertebra. He was at length discovered, and taken in (as the patient said) after he had lain nearly an hour, in a condition perfectly bereft of voluntary motion; but, being present, I did not suspect that the power of sensation was also gone, until the patient (whose speech remained almost, or quite, perfect, and who was uncommonly loquacious at that time) said, did he not know to the contrary, he should think that he had no body. His flesh was then punctured, and sometimes deeply, even from the feet to the neck; but the patient gave no evidence of feeling, and, when interrogated, answered that he felt nothing; and, added he, “I never was more perfectly free from pain in my life;” but he remarked that he could not live, and accordingly sent for his family, twelve miles distant, and arranged all his various concerns in a perfectly sane manner.
471E. D., who was fifty years old, a man in good health and strong, while trying to climb a wooden fence, suddenly fell backward to the ground, hitting his head, which caused a dislocation at the third cervical vertebra. Eventually, he was found and brought in (as he said) after lying there for almost an hour, completely unable to move voluntarily; however, as I was present, I didn't initially realize that he had also lost the ability to feel sensations until he mentioned—despite having nearly perfect speech and being quite talkative at the time—that if he didn't know otherwise, he would think he had no body. His body was then punctured multiple times, sometimes quite deeply, from his feet to his neck; yet he showed no signs of feeling anything, and when asked, he responded that he felt nothing; in fact, he said, “I have never been more completely free from pain in my life.” However, he noted that he couldn't survive and sent for his family, who were twelve miles away, and organized all his affairs in a totally clear-minded way.
The head was thrown back in such a position as to prevent his seeing his body. The pulse was much more sluggish than natural. Respiration and speech, but slightly affected, were gradually failing; but he could articulate distinctly until within a few minutes of his death. All the senses of the head remained quite perfect to the last. He died forty-eight hours after the fall.
The head was tilted back in a way that made it impossible for him to see his body. The pulse was much slower than normal. Breathing and speech were only slightly impacted and were gradually failing, but he could still speak clearly until just a few minutes before he died. All of his senses in the head remained completely intact until the very end. He passed away forty-eight hours after the fall.
Repeated attempts were made to reduce the dislocation, but the transverse processes had become so interlocked that every effort proved abortive. There was undoubtedly in this case a perfect compression of the spinal marrow, which prevented the egress of nervous influence from the brain, while the pneumogastric nerve remained unembarrassed.
Repeated attempts were made to reduce the dislocation, but the transverse processes had become so locked together that every effort was unsuccessful. In this case, there was definitely a complete compression of the spinal cord, which stopped the flow of nerve signals from the brain, while the vagus nerve remained unaffected.
ANTIPATHIES.
Antipathies are as various as they are unaccountable, and often in appearance ridiculous. Yet who can control them, or 472reason himself into a conviction that they are absurd? They are, in truth, natural infirmities or peculiarities, and not fantastical imaginings. In the French “Ana” we find mention of a lady who would faint on seeing boiled lobsters; and several persons are mentioned, among them Mary de Medicis, who experienced the same inconvenience from the smell of roses, though particularly partial to the odor of jonquils and hyacinths. Another is recorded who invariably fell into convulsions at the sight of a carp. Erasmus, although a native of Rotterdam, had such an aversion to fish of any kind that the smell alone threw him into a fever. Ambrose Paré mentions a patient of his who could never look at an eel without falling into a fit. Joseph Scaliger and Peter Abono could neither of them drink milk. Cardan was particularly disgusted at the sight of eggs. Ladislaus, King of Poland, fell sick if he saw an apple; and if that fruit was exhibited to Chesne, secretary to Francis I., a prodigious quantity of blood would issue from his nose. Henry III. of France could not endure to sit in a room with a cat, and the Duke of Schomberg ran out of any chamber into which one entered. A gentleman in the court of the Emperor Ferdinand would bleed at the nose even if he heard the mewing of the obnoxious animal, no matter at how great a distance. M. de l’Ancre, in his Tableau de l’Inconstance de Toutes Choses, gives an account of a very sensible man, who was so terrified on seeing a hedgehog that for two years he imagined his bowels were gnawed by such an animal. In the same book we find an account of an officer of distinguished bravery who never dared to face a mouse, it would so terrify him, unless he had his sword in his hand. M. de l’Ancre says he knew the individual perfectly well. There are some persons who cannot bear to see spiders, and others who eat them as a luxury, as they do snails and frogs. M. Vangheim, a celebrated huntsman in Hanover, would faint outright, or, if he had sufficient time, would run away, at the sight of a roast pig. The philosopher Chrysippus had such an aversion to external reverence, that, if any one saluted him, he would involuntarily fall down. 473Valerius Maximus says that this Chrysippus died of laughing at seeing an ass eat figs out of a silver plate. John Rol, a gentleman of Alcantara, would swoon on hearing the word lana (wool) pronounced, although his cloak was made of wool. Lord Bacon fainted at every eclipse of the moon. Tycho Brahe shuddered at the sight of a fox; Ariosto, at the sight of a bath; and Cæsar trembled at the crowing of a cock.
Antipathies are as varied as they are inexplicable, and often seem ridiculous. Yet who can manage them or convince themselves that they don't make sense? They are, in reality, natural weaknesses or quirks, not mere fanciful thoughts. In the French “Ana,” there's a mention of a lady who would faint at the sight of boiled lobsters, and several people are noted, including Mary de Medicis, who experienced the same issue from the smell of roses, although she particularly liked the scent of jonquils and hyacinths. Another person is recorded who would always have convulsions at the sight of a carp. Erasmus, despite being from Rotterdam, had such a dislike for fish that just the smell of it made him feverish. Ambrose Paré talks about a patient of his who couldn't look at an eel without having a seizure. Joseph Scaliger and Peter Abono both couldn’t drink milk. Cardan was especially disgusted by the sight of eggs. Ladislaus, King of Poland, would get sick if he saw an apple; and when that fruit was shown to Chesne, secretary to Francis I, a massive amount of blood would pour from his nose. Henry III of France couldn’t stand being in the same room as a cat, and the Duke of Schomberg would leave any room where one entered. A gentleman in Emperor Ferdinand’s court would bleed from the nose just from hearing a cat meow, no matter how far away. M. de l’Ancre, in his Table of the Inconstancy of All Things, recounts a very sensible man who was so scared when he saw a hedgehog that for two years he thought his insides were being eaten by such an animal. In the same book, there's a story about a very brave officer who couldn’t face a mouse without getting terrified, unless he had his sword ready. M. de l’Ancre claims he knew this man very well. Some people can't stand to see spiders, while others consider them a delicacy, just like snails and frogs. M. Vangheim, a famous hunter in Hanover, would either faint or run away at the sight of a roast pig. The philosopher Chrysippus had such an aversion to being acknowledged that if anyone greeted him, he would fall down involuntarily. 473 Valerius Maximus states that Chrysippus died laughing at the sight of a donkey eating figs from a silver plate. John Rol, a gentleman from Alcantara, would faint upon hearing the word Lana (wool), even though his cloak was made of wool. Lord Bacon would faint at every eclipse of the moon. Tycho Brahe shuddered at the sight of a fox; Ariosto, at the sight of a bath; and Cæsar trembled at the crowing of a rooster.
STRANGE INSTANCE OF SYMPATHY.
The Duke de Saint Simon mentions in his Mémoires a singular instance of constitutional sympathy existing between two brothers. These were twins,—the President de Banquemore, and the Governor de Bergues, who were surprisingly alike, not only in their persons, but in their feelings. One morning, he tells us, when the President was at the royal audience he was suddenly attacked by an intense pain in the thigh: at the same instant, as it was discovered afterwards, his brother, who was with the army, received a severe wound from a sword on the same leg, and precisely the same part of the leg!
The Duke de Saint Simon notes in his Memories a unique example of a deep connection between two brothers. These were twins—the President de Banquemore and the Governor de Bergues—who were remarkably similar not only in appearance but also in their emotions. One morning, he recounts, while the President was in a royal audience, he suddenly experienced a sharp pain in his thigh. At the same moment, as it was later revealed, his brother, who was with the army, suffered a serious sword wound on the same leg and in exactly the same spot!
WALKING BLINDFOLDED.
The difficulty of walking to any given point blindfolded can only be conceived by those who have made the experiment. After wandering about in every possible direction, now east, now west, at one time forward, at another time backward, working for a while at the zigzag, then shooting out like an arrow from a bow, and not unfrequently describing a complete circle like a miller’s horse, the party is generally a thousand times more likely to end his travels at the spot from which he set out, than at the spot to which he wished to go. The following achievement presents as extraordinary an exception to the general experience on this head, as perhaps ever occurred:—
The challenge of walking to any specific point blindfolded can only be understood by those who have tried it. After wandering in every possible direction—sometimes east, sometimes west, occasionally moving forward, other times backward, working for a bit in a zigzag pattern, then shooting straight out like an arrow from a bow, and often moving in a complete circle like a miller's horse—most people are significantly more likely to end up back where they started than at their intended destination. The following achievement stands out as an exceptional exception to this common experience:—
Dennis Hendrick, a stone-mason, for a wager of ten guineas, walked from the Exchange in Liverpool, along Deal Street, to the corner of Byrom Street,—being a distance of three-quarters of a mile,—blindfolded, and rolling a coach-wheel. On starting, 474there were two plasters of Burgundy pitch put on his eyes, and a handkerchief tied over them, to prevent all possibility of his seeing. He started precisely at half-past seven in the morning, and completed his undertaking at twenty minutes past eight, being in fifty minutes.
Dennis Hendrick, a stonemason, bet ten guineas that he could walk blindfolded from the Exchange in Liverpool, along Deal Street, to the corner of Byrom Street—a distance of three-quarters of a mile—while rolling a coach wheel. To ensure he couldn't see, they put two plasters of Burgundy pitch on his eyes and tied a handkerchief over them. He began his challenge exactly at 7:30 in the morning and finished at 8:20, taking fifty minutes in total.
FELINE CLOCKS.
M. Huc, in his recent work on the Chinese Empire, tells us that “one day, when we went to pay a visit to some families of Chinese Christian peasants, we met, near a farm, a young lad, who was taking a buffalo to graze along our path. We asked him carelessly, as we passed, whether it was yet noon. The child raised his head to look at the sun; but it was hidden behind thick clouds, and he could read no answer there. ‘The sky is so cloudy,’ said he; ‘but wait a moment;’ and with these words he ran towards the farm, and came back a few moments afterward with a cat in his arms. ‘Look here,’ said he, ‘it is not noon yet;’ and he showed us the cat’s eyes, by pushing up the lids with his hands. We looked at the child with surprise, but he was evidently in earnest; and the cat, though astonished, and not much pleased at the experiment made on her eyes, behaved with the most exemplary complaisance. ‘Very well,’ said we: ‘thank you;’ and he then let go the cat, who made her escape pretty quickly, and we continued our route. To say the truth, we had not at all understood the proceeding; but we did not wish to question the little pagan, lest he should find out that we were Europeans by our ignorance. As soon as we reached the farm, however, we made haste to ask our Christians whether they could tell the clock by looking into a cat’s eyes. They seemed surprised at the question; but, as there was no danger in confessing to them our ignorance of the properties of the cat’s eyes, we related what had just taken place. That was all that was necessary. Our complaisant neophytes immediately gave chase to all the cats in the neighborhood. They brought us three or four, and explained in what manner they might be made use of for watches. 475They pointed out that the pupil of their eyes went on constantly growing narrower until twelve o’clock, when they became like a fine line, as thin as a hair, drawn perpendicularly across the eye, and that after twelve the dilatation recommenced. When we had attentively examined the eyes of all the cats at our disposal, we came to the conclusion that it was past noon, as all the eyes perfectly agreed upon the point.”
M. Huc, in his recent work on the Chinese Empire, shares that “one day, when we visited some families of Chinese Christian peasants, we encountered a young boy near a farm who was taking a buffalo to graze along our path. We casually asked him, as we walked by, if it was noon yet. The boy looked up to check the sun, but it was hidden behind thick clouds, so he couldn't tell. ‘The sky is so cloudy,’ he said; ‘but wait a moment;’ and with that, he ran toward the farm and came back a few moments later with a cat in his arms. ‘Look here,’ he said, ‘it’s not noon yet;’ and he showed us the cat’s eyes by lifting the lids with his hands. We looked at the boy in surprise, but he seemed serious; and the cat, while surprised and not thrilled about the experiment with her eyes, was surprisingly compliant. ‘Alright,’ we said: ‘thank you;’ and he then let the cat go, who quickly escaped, and we continued on our way. To be honest, we didn’t really understand what had just happened, but we didn’t want to ask the little pagan, so he wouldn’t realize we were Europeans by our confusion. As soon as we reached the farm, however, we hurried to ask our Christian friends if they could tell the time by looking into a cat’s eyes. They seemed surprised by the question; but since there was no risk in admitting our ignorance about cat eyes, we shared what had just occurred. That was all that was needed. Our eager neophytes immediately began chasing all the cats in the area. They brought us three or four and explained how they could be used as watches. They pointed out that the pupils of their eyes kept getting narrower until noon, when they appeared as a fine line, as thin as a hair, drawn vertically across the eye, and that after twelve, the pupils would start to widen again. After carefully examining the eyes of all the cats we had, we concluded that it was past noon, as all the eyes were in agreement.” 475
DEVONSHIRE SUPERSTITION.
The following case of gross superstition, which occurred lately in one of the largest market-towns in the north of Devon, is related by an eye-witness:—
The following instance of extreme superstition, which happened recently in one of the biggest market towns in northern Devon, is recounted by someone who witnessed it:—
A young woman living in the neighborhood of Holsworthy, having for some time past been subject to periodical fits of illness, endeavored to effect a cure by attending at the afternoon service at the parish church, accompanied by thirty young men, her near neighbors. Service over, she sat in the porch of the church, and each of the young men, as they passed out in succession, dropped a penny into her lap; but the last, instead of a penny, gave her half a crown, taking from her the twenty-nine pennies which she had already received. With this half-crown in her hand, she walked three times round the communion-table, and afterwards had it made into a ring, by the wearing of which she believes she will recover her health.
A young woman living in the Holsworthy neighborhood, who had been experiencing periodic bouts of illness for a while, tried to heal herself by attending the afternoon service at the local church, joined by thirty young men from her area. After the service, she sat in the church porch, and as each young man left, he dropped a penny into her lap. However, the last one gave her half a crown instead of a penny, taking back the twenty-nine pennies she had already received. With the half-crown in her hand, she walked around the communion table three times, and then had it made into a ring, believing that wearing it would help her recover her health.
A SKULL THAT HAD A TONGUE.
When Dr. John Donne, the famous poet and divine of the reign of James I., attained possession of his first living, he took a walk into the churchyard, where the sexton was at the time digging a grave, and in the course of his labor threw up a skull. This skull the doctor took in his hands, and found a rusty headless nail sticking in the temple of it, which he drew out secretly and wrapped in the corner of his handkerchief. He then demanded of the grave-digger whether he knew whose skull that was. He said it was a man’s who kept a brandy-shop,—an honest, drunken fellow, who one night, having taken 476two quarts, was found dead in his bed next morning. “Had he a wife?” “Yes.” “What character does she bear?” “A very good one: only the neighbors reflect on her because she married the day after her husband was buried.” This was enough for the doctor, who, under the pretence of visiting his parishioners, called on the woman: he asked her several questions, and, among others, what sickness her husband died of. She gave him the same account he had before received, whereupon he suddenly opened the handkerchief, and cried, in an authoritative voice, “Woman, do you know this nail?” She was struck with horror at the unexpected demand, instantly owned the fact, and was brought to trial and executed. Truly might one say, with even more point than Hamlet, that the skull had a tongue in it.
When Dr. John Donne, the famous poet and preacher during the reign of James I, got his first church job, he took a stroll through the churchyard. At that moment, the grave digger was busy digging a grave and unearthed a skull. Dr. Donne picked it up and noticed a rusty headless nail stuck in the temple, which he secretly removed and wrapped in the corner of his handkerchief. He then asked the grave digger if he knew whose skull it was. The grave digger replied it belonged to a man who owned a brandy shop—an honest but drunken guy who was found dead in bed after drinking two quarts one night. “Did he have a wife?” “Yes.” “What’s her reputation?” “Very good, although the neighbors talk about her because she married the day after her husband was buried.” That was enough for the doctor, who, pretending to visit his parishioners, went to see the woman. He asked her several questions, including what illness her husband had died from. She gave him the same explanation he had heard before, so he suddenly opened the handkerchief and exclaimed in an authoritative voice, “Woman, do you know this nail?” Horrified by the unexpected question, she confessed, and was eventually tried and executed. One could truly say, even more pointedly than Hamlet, that the skull had a voice of its own.
ROMANTIC HIGHWAYMAN.
In a letter to Mr. Mead, preserved among that gentleman’s papers in the British Museum, and dated February 3, 1625, is the following account of a singular highwayman:—
In a letter to Mr. Mead, kept among that gentleman’s papers in the British Museum, and dated February 3, 1625, there is the following account of a unique highway robber:—
Mr. Clavell, a gentleman, a knight’s eldest son, a great mail and highway robber, was, together with a soldier, his companion, arraigned and condemned on Monday last, at the King’s Bench bar: he pleaded for himself that he never had struck or wounded any man, never taken any thing from their bodies, as rings, &c., never cut their girths or saddles, or done them, when he robbed, any corporeal violence. He was, with his companion, reprieved; he sent the following verses to the king for mercy, and hath obtained it:—
Mr. Clavell, a gentleman, the eldest son of a knight, and a notorious mail and highway robber, was, along with a soldier who was his accomplice, tried and sentenced last Monday at the King’s Bench. He defended himself by claiming that he had never struck or harmed anyone, never taken anything from their bodies, like rings, etc., never cut their girths or saddles, nor inflicted any physical violence when he committed robberies. He and his companion were granted a reprieve; he sent the following verses to the king asking for mercy, and he received it:—
Singular Customs.
MEMENTO MORI.
The ancient Egyptians, at their grand festivals and parties of pleasure, always had a coffin placed on the table at meals, containing a mummy, or a skeleton of painted wood, which, Herodotus tells us, was presented to each of the guests with this admonition:—“Look upon this, and enjoy yourself; for such will you become when divested of your mortal garb.” This custom is frequently alluded to by Horace and Catullus; and Petronius tells us that at the celebrated banquet of Trimalcion a silver skeleton was placed on the table to awaken in the minds of the guests the remembrance of death and of deceased friends.
The ancient Egyptians, at their big festivals and parties, always had a coffin placed on the table during meals. Inside was a mummy or a painted wooden skeleton, which, as Herodotus tells us, was shown to each guest with a reminder: “Look at this and enjoy yourself, for this is what you will become when you shed your mortal clothes.” This practice is often mentioned by Horace and Catullus, and Petronius tells us that at the famous banquet of Trimalcion, a silver skeleton was placed on the table to remind the guests of death and their deceased friends.
BEAUTIFUL SUPERSTITION.
Among the superstitions of the Seneca Indians was one remarkable for its singular beauty. When a maiden died, they imprisoned a young bird until it first began to try its powers of song, and then, loading it with messages and caresses, they loosed its bonds over her grave, in the belief that it would not fold its wing nor close its eyes until it had flown to the spirit-land and delivered its precious burden of affection to the loved and lost.
Among the superstitions of the Seneca Indians was one notable for its unique beauty. When a young woman died, they captured a young bird until it first attempted to sing, and then, filling it with messages and affection, they released it over her grave, believing it would not fold its wings or close its eyes until it had flown to the spirit world and delivered its cherished gift of love to the beloved and departed.
STRANGE FONDNESS FOR BEAUTY.
In Carazan, a province to the northeast of Tartary, the inhabitants have a custom, says Dr. Heylin, when a stranger of handsome shape and fine features comes into their houses, of killing him in the night,—not out of desire of spoil, or to eat his body, but that the soul of such a comely person might remain among them.
In Carazan, a province in the northeast of Tartary, people have a custom, according to Dr. Heylin, where they kill a handsome stranger with good looks at night—not for greed or to consume his body, but so the spirit of such an attractive person can stay with them.
THE FOUNDATIONS OF DRUIDICAL TEMPLES.
There is a curious tradition both of St. Patrick in Ireland, and of St. Columba in Iona, that when they attempted to found churches they were impeded by an evil spirit, who threw down the walls as fast as they were built, until a human victim was sacrificed and buried under the foundation, which being done, they stood firm.
There’s an interesting tradition about St. Patrick in Ireland and St. Columba in Iona, which says that when they tried to establish churches, they were blocked by an evil spirit that knocked down the walls as quickly as they were constructed. It wasn’t until a human sacrifice was made and buried under the foundation that the walls remained stable.
It is to be feared that there is too much truth in this story. Not, of course, that such a thing was done by either a Christian Patrick or Columba, but by the Druids, from whom the story was fathered upon the former. Under each of the twelve pillars of one of the Druidical circular temples in Iona a human body was found to have been buried.
It’s concerning that there might be too much truth to this story. Not that either a Christian Patrick or Columba did such a thing, but rather it was the Druids, who attributed the story to the former. Under each of the twelve pillars of one of the Druid circular temples in Iona, a human body was discovered to have been buried.
ABYSSINIAN BEEFSTEAKS.
Mr. Bruce, the Abyssinian traveller, has frequently been ridiculed for asserting that it is a practice in Abyssinia to cut slices from the backs of their cattle while alive, and then drive them back to pasture; but his statements have been confirmed by more recent travellers. Mr. Salt says that a soldier belonging to the party to which he was attached took one of the cows they were driving before them, cut off two pieces of flesh from the glutæi muscles of the buttock, near the tail, and then sewed up the wound, plastering it over with manure, after which the party proceeded to cook the steaks.
Mr. Bruce, the Abyssinian traveler, has often been mocked for claiming that it's a common practice in Abyssinia to cut slices from the backs of live cattle and then send them back to graze; however, his claims have been supported by more recent travelers. Mr. Salt mentions that a soldier in his group took one of the cows they were herding, sliced off two pieces of flesh from the gluteal muscles near the tail, and then stitched up the wound, covering it with manure, after which the group went ahead and cooked the steaks.
OSTIAK REGARD FOR BEARS.
Tooke, in his work on Russia, tells us of a strange custom that prevails among the Ostiaks,—a Finnish nation. The Ostiaks, says he, believe that bears enjoy after death a happiness at least equal to that which they expect for themselves. Whenever they kill one of these animals, therefore, they sing songs over him, in which they ask his pardon, and hang up his skin, to which they show many civilities and pay many fine compliments, in order to induce him not to wreak his vengeance upon them in the abode of spirits.
Tooke, in his work on Russia, tells us about a strange custom that exists among the Ostiaks, a Finnish nation. The Ostiaks, he says, believe that bears experience a happiness after death that is at least equal to what they expect for themselves. So, whenever they kill one of these animals, they sing songs to it, asking for its forgiveness, and hang up its skin, treating it with a lot of respect and giving it many compliments, to encourage it not to seek revenge on them in the spirit world.
MAKING NOSES.
At Kat Kangra, a place visited by the traveller Vigne, at the base of the Himalaya, there are native surgeons, celebrated for putting on new noses. The maimed come a great distance for repairs. When it is recollected that the rajahs cut off ears and noses without stint, it may be readily supposed that these surgeons have plenty of patients. The hope of a restoration of the nasal organ brings them from remote distances. To all intents and purposes, it is done like the Taliacotian operation in our hospitals,—by taking a flap of integument from the forehead. With very simple instruments, and a little cotton wool besmeared with pitch, to keep the parts together, the success is sufficient to extend the reputation of the rude operators.
At Kat Kangra, a place explored by the traveler Vigne, at the foot of the Himalayas, there are local surgeons famous for performing nose reconstructions. People travel from far and wide for these procedures. Considering that the rajahs indiscriminately cut off ears and noses, it's easy to see why these surgeons have a steady stream of patients. The hope of getting their noses back brings them from remote areas. Essentially, the procedure is similar to the Taliacotian operation done in our hospitals—using a flap of skin from the forehead. With very basic tools and a bit of cotton wool coated with pitch to hold everything in place, the results are enough to enhance the reputation of these skilled yet rustic surgeons.
LION-CATCHING IN SOUTH AFRICA.
Mr. Lemue, who formerly resided at Motito, and is familiar with the Kallibari country, assures us that the remarkable accounts sometimes circulated as to the people of that part of Africa catching lions by the tail—of which, one would naturally be incredulous—were perfectly true. Lions would sometimes become extremely dangerous to the inhabitants. Having become accustomed to human flesh, they would not willingly eat any thing else. When a neighborhood became infested, the men would determine on the measures to be adopted to rid themselves of the nuisance; then, forming themselves into a band, they would proceed in search of their royal foe, and beard the lion in his lair. Standing close by one another, the lion would make his spring on some one of the party,—every man, of course, hoping he might escape the attack,—when instantly others would dash forward and seize his tail, lifting it up close to the body with all their might; thus not only astonishing the animal, and absolutely taking him off his guard, but rendering his efforts powerless for the moment; while others closed in with their spears, and at once stabbed the monster through and through.
Mr. Lemue, who used to live in Motito and knows the Kallibari area well, assures us that the extraordinary stories sometimes told about the people in that region of Africa catching lions by the tail—which might seem hard to believe—are completely true. Lions would sometimes become extremely dangerous to the local people. Once they got used to human flesh, they weren’t willing to eat anything else. When a neighborhood was overrun, the men would decide on a plan to get rid of the problem; then, forming a group, they would go looking for their royal enemy and confront the lion in its den. Standing close together, the lion would leap at one of them—each man obviously hoping to evade the attack—while others would rush in and grab its tail, lifting it up near the body with all their strength. This not only surprised the animal and caught it off guard but also temporarily neutralized its strength; meanwhile, others moved in with their spears and immediately stabbed the beast repeatedly.
HIGH LIFE IN THE FIFTEENTH CENTURY.
We gain the following glimpse of the manners of the upper classes in England, four hundred years ago, from the Journal of Elizabeth Woodville, subsequently Lady Grey, and finally Queen of Edward IV. Royalty in petto seems to have taken, with a most refreshing cordiality, to the avocations of baking and brewing, pig-tending, poultry-feeding, and pony-catching.
We get a look at the customs of the upper classes in England, four hundred years ago, from the Journal of Elizabeth Woodville, who later became Lady Grey and eventually the queen of Edward IV. Royals seem to have embraced, with a refreshing warmth, the activities of baking and brewing, taking care of pigs, feeding poultry, and catching ponies.
Monday morning.—Rose at 4 o’clock, and helped Catharine to milk the cows. Rachel, the dairy-maid, having scalded her hand in so bad a manner the night before, made a poultice, and gave Robin a penny to get something from the apothecary.
Monday morning.—Woke up at 4 o’clock and helped Catharine milk the cows. Rachel, the dairy maid, had burned her hand badly the night before, so she made a poultice and gave Robin a penny to buy something from the pharmacist.
6 o’clock.—The buttock of beef too much boiled, and beer a little stale; (mem. to talk to the cook about the first fault, and to mend the other myself by tapping a fresh barrel immediately.)
6 o’clock.—The beef was overcooked, and the beer was a bit stale; (mem. to talk to the cook about the beef, and to fix the beer myself by opening a fresh barrel right away.)
7 o’clock.—Went to walk with the lady my mother in the court-yard; fed twenty-five men and women; chid Roger severely for expressing some ill will at attending us with some broken meat.
7 o’clock.—I went for a walk with the lady my mother in the courtyard; fed twenty-five men and women; scolded Roger harshly for showing some resentment about joining us with some leftover food.
8 o’clock.—Went into the paddock behind the house with my maid Dorothy; caught Thump, the little pony, myself; rode a matter of ten miles without saddle or bridle.
8 o’clock.—I went into the field behind the house with my maid, Dorothy; I caught Thump, the little pony, by myself; I rode about ten miles without a saddle or bridle.
10 o’clock.—Went to dinner. John Grey, a most comely youth; but what is that to me? a virtuous maid should be entirely under the direction of her parents. John ate but little, and stole a great many tender glances at me. Said women could never be handsome in his eyes who were not good-tempered. I hope my temper is not intolerable: nobody finds fault with it but Roger, and he is the most disorderly youth in our house. John Grey likes white teeth: my teeth are a pretty good color. I think my hair is as black as jet,—though I say it; and John Grey, if I mistake not, is of the same opinion.
10 o’clock.—Went to dinner. John Grey, a really handsome guy; but what does that matter to me? A virtuous young woman should completely follow her parents' guidance. John ate only a little and kept giving me a lot of soft looks. He said that women aren't beautiful to him unless they're good-natured. I hope my temper isn't too bad: no one complains about it except Roger, and he's the most unruly guy in our house. John Grey likes white teeth; mine are a pretty good shade. I think my hair is as black as jet—though I might be biased—and John Grey seems to agree with me.
11 o’clock.—Rose from the table; the company all desirous of walking in the field. John Grey lifted me over every stile, and twice squeezed my hand with much vehemence. I cannot say I should have much objection, for he plays at prison-bar as well as any of the country gentlemen, is remarkably dutiful to his parents, my lord and lady, and never misses church on Sunday.
11 o’clock.—I got up from the table; everyone wanted to take a walk in the field. John Grey helped me over every stile and squeezed my hand twice with a lot of intensity. I can’t say I’d mind much because he plays prison-bar as well as any of the local gentlemen, is very respectful to his parents, my lord and lady, and never misses church on Sunday.
3 o’clock.—Poor Farmer Robinson’s house burned down by accidental fire. John Grey proposed a subscription among the company for the relief of the farmer, and gave no less than four pounds with this benevolent intent. (Mem. never saw him look so comely as at this moment.)
3 o’clock.—Poor Farmer Robinson’s house burned down in an accidental fire. John Grey suggested a fundraiser among the group to help the farmer and generously contributed four pounds for this cause. (Note: I’ve never seen him look so good as he did at this moment.)
4 o’clock.—Went to prayers.
4:00 PM. —Went to prayers.
6 o’clock.—Fed hogs and poultry.
6 PM.—Fed pigs and chickens.
HAIR IN SEALS.
Stillingfleet, referring to a MS. author who wrote a chronicle of St. Augustine, says:—
Stillingfleet, mentioning a manuscript author who wrote a history of St. Augustine, says:—
He observes one particular custom of the Normans, that they were wont to put some of the hair of their heads or beards into the wax of their seals: I suppose rather to be kept as monuments, than as adding any strength or weight to their charters. So he observes that some of the hair of William, Earl of Warren, was in his time kept in the Priory of Lewis.
He notes one specific tradition of the Normans, that they used to put some of their head or beard hair into the wax of their seals: I think it was more for keepsakes than to add any strength or weight to their documents. He also mentions that some of William, Earl of Warren's hair was kept in the Priory of Lewis during his time.
SCORNING THE CHURCH.
In North Durham, it is customary, in case that the banns of marriage are thrice published, and the marriage does not take place, for the refusing party, whether male or female, to pay forty shillings to the vicar as a penalty for scorning the church.
In North Durham, it's common that if the marriage banns are announced three times and the marriage doesn’t happen, the person who refuses, whether male or female, must pay forty shillings to the vicar as a penalty for scorning the church.
MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT.
The following strange advertisement from an old newspaper exhibits one of the customs of rural life in England more than a century ago:—
The following unusual advertisement from an old newspaper showcases one of the customs of rural life in England over a hundred years ago:—
Matthew Dowson, in Bothell, Cumberland, intends to be married at Holm Church, on the Thursday before Whitsuntide next, whenever that may happen—and to return to Bothell to dine.
Matthew Dowson, from Bothell, Cumberland, plans to get married at Holm Church on the Thursday before Whitsuntide next, whenever that is—and to return to Bothell for dinner.
Mr. Reed gives a turkey to be roasted; William Elliot gives a hen to be roasted; Edward Clement gives a fat lamb to be roasted; Joseph Gibson gives a fat pig to be roasted; William Hughes gives a fat calf to be roasted.
Mr. Reed is providing a turkey to be roasted; William Elliot is providing a hen to be roasted; Edward Clement is contributing a fat lamb to be roasted; Joseph Gibson is offering a fat pig to be roasted; William Hughes is donating a fat calf to be roasted.
And in order that all this roast may be well basted—do you see?—Mary Pearson, Betty Hughes, Mary Bushby, Molly Fisher, Sarah Briscoe, and Betty Porthoust, give, each of them, a pound of butter. The advertiser will provide every thing else suitable for so festive an occasion: and he hereby gives notice to all young women desirous of changing their condition, that he is at present disengaged, and he advises them to consider that although there may be luck in leisure, yet, in this case, delays are dangerous; for with him, he is determined that it shall be—first come, first served.
And for this roast to be perfectly basted—get it?—Mary Pearson, Betty Hughes, Mary Bushby, Molly Fisher, Sarah Briscoe, and Betty Porthoust will each contribute a pound of butter. The advertiser will take care of everything else that's fitting for such a festive occasion: he wants to let all the young women looking to change their status know that he is currently available, and he suggests they keep in mind that while there may be luck in waiting, in this case, delays can be risky; because with him, it’s going to be—first come, first served.
Facetiæ.
TITLES FOR THE LIBRARY DOOR, CHATSWORTH.
The Duke of Devonshire found it necessary to construct a door of sham books for an entrance to the library of Chatsworth. He was tired of the hackneyed Plain Dealings, Essays on Wood, Perpetual Motion, etc., on such doors, and asked Thomas Hood to give him some new titles. The following are selections from his amusing list:—
The Duke of Devonshire felt it was important to create a door made of fake books for the entrance to the Chatsworth library. He was tired of the clichéd Plain Dealings, Essays on Wood, Perpetual Motion, etc. that were usually found on such doors and asked Thomas Hood for some fresh titles. Here are some choices from his entertaining list:—
McAdam’s Views in Rhodes.
McAdam's Thoughts on Rhodes.
Pygmalion. By Lord Bacon.
Pygmalion. By Francis Bacon.
Dante’s Inferno; or, Descriptions of Van Demon’s Land.
Dante’s Inferno; or, Descriptions of Van Demon’s Land.
Tadpoles; or, Tales out of my Own Head.
Tadpoles; or, Stories from My Own Head.
Designs for Friezes. By Sir John Franklin.
Designs for Friezes. By Sir John Franklin.
Recollections of Bannister. By Lord Stair.
Recollections of Bannister. By Lord Stair.
Ye Devill on Two-Styx (Black Letter).
Ye Devill on Two-Styx (Black Letter).
Malthus’ Attack of Infantry.
Malthus’ Infantry Assault.
The Life of Zimmerman. By Himself.
The Life of Zimmerman. By Himself.
Boyle on Steam.
Boyle on Steam.
Book-Keeping by Single Entry.
Single Entry Bookkeeping.
Rules for Punctuation. By a thorough-bred Pointer.
Rules for Punctuation. By a purebred Pointer.
On the Site of Tully’s Offices.
On the Site of Tully’s Offices.
Cornaro on Longevity and the Construction of 74’s.
Cornaro on Longevity and the Construction of 74’s.
Cursory Remarks on Swearing.
Quick Thoughts on Swearing.
Shelley’s Conchologist.
Shelley's Shell Collector.
On Sore Throat and the Migration of the Swallow. By Abernethy.
On Sore Throat and the Migration of the Swallow. By Abernethy.
The Scottish Boccaccio. By D. Cameron.
The Scottish Boccaccio. By D. Cameron.
Chronological Account of the Date Tree. Percy Vere. In 40 vols.
Chronological Account of the Date Tree. Percy Vere. In 40 volumes.
In-i-go on Secret Entrances.
Inigo on Secret Entrances.
Cook’s Specimens of the Sandwich Tongue.
Cook’s Specimens of the Sandwich Language.
Peel on Bell’s System.
Peel on Bell's System.
Lamb’s Recollections of Suett.
Lamb’s Memories of Suett.
Blaine on Equestrian Burglary; or The Breaking-in of Horses.
Blaine on Equestrian Burglary; or The Breaking-in of Horses.
The Rape of the Lock, with Bramah’s Notes.
The Rape of the Lock, with Bramah’s Notes.
Kosciusko on the Right of the Poles to stick up for themselves.
Kosciusko on the Right of the Poles to stand up for themselves.
Haughty-cultural Remarks on London Pride.
Snobbish Comments on London Pride.
THE JESTS OF HIEROCLES.
A young man, meeting an acquaintance, said, “I heard that you were dead.” “But,” says the other, “you see me alive.” “I do not know how that may be,” replied he: “you are a notorious liar; but my informant was a person of credit.”
A youth man, running into someone he knew, said, “I heard you were dead.” “But,” the other replied, “here I am, alive.” “I’m not sure how that could be,” he responded, “you’re known for being a liar; but the person who told me was trustworthy.”
A man wrote to a friend in Greece, begging him to purchase books. From negligence or avarice, he neglected to execute 483the commission; but, fearing that his correspondent might be offended, he exclaimed, when next they met, “My dear friend, I never got the letter you wrote to me about the books.”
A man wrote to a friend in Greece, asking him to buy some books. For some reason—whether laziness or greed—he didn’t carry out the request; but, worried that his friend might be upset, he said when they next met, “My dear friend, I never received the letter you sent me about the books.”
An irritable man went to visit a sick friend, and asked him concerning his health. The patient was so ill that he could not reply; whereupon the other, in a rage, said, “I hope that I may soon fall sick, and then I will not answer you when you visit me.”
An annoyed man went to check on a sick friend and asked how he was feeling. The patient was so unwell that he couldn’t respond; in anger, the visitor exclaimed, “I hope I get sick soon, and then I won’t answer you when you come to see me.”
A speculative gentleman, wishing to teach his horse to live without food, starved him to death. “I suffered a great loss,” said he, “for just as he learned to live without eating, he died.”
A curious gentleman, eager to teach his horse how to survive without food, ended up starving him to death. “I experienced a huge loss,” he said, “because just as he figured out how to live without eating, he died.”
A robust countryman, meeting a physician, ran to hide behind a wall: being asked the cause, he replied, “It is so long since I have been sick, that I am ashamed to look a physician in the face.”
A strong farmer, seeing a doctor, ran to hide behind a wall. When asked why, he replied, “It’s been so long since I’ve been sick that I’m embarrassed to look a doctor in the eye.”
A curious inquirer, desirous to know how he looked when asleep, sat with closed eyes before a mirror.
A curious person, wanting to see how he looked while sleeping, sat with his eyes closed in front of a mirror.
A man, hearing that a raven would live two hundred years, bought one to try.
A man, hearing that a raven could live for two hundred years, bought one to test it out.
One of twin brothers died: a fellow, meeting the survivor, asked, “Which is it that’s dead, you or your brother?”
One of the twin brothers died. When someone met the survivor, they asked, “Which one is dead, you or your brother?”
A man who had to cross a river entered a boat on horseback: being asked why, he replied, “I must ride, because I am in a hurry.”
A man who needed to cross a river got into a boat while on horseback. When asked why, he replied, “I have to ride because I'm in a hurry.”
A foolish fellow, having a house to sell, took a brick from the wall to exhibit as a sample.
A clueless guy, looking to sell his house, took a brick from the wall to show as a sample.
A man, meeting a friend, said, “I spoke to you last night in a dream.” “Pardon me,” replied the other; “I did not hear you.”
A man ran into a friend and said, “I talked to you in a dream last night.” “Sorry,” the other replied, “I didn’t hear you.”
A man that had nearly been drowned while bathing, declared that he would never enter the water again till he had learned to swim.
A man who almost drowned while swimming said he would never go into the water again until he learned how to swim.
A student in want of money sold his books, and wrote home, “Father, rejoice; for I now derive my support from literature.”
A student in need of money sold his books and wrote home, “Dad, be happy; because I’m now supporting myself through literature.”
484During a storm, the passengers on board a vessel that appeared in danger seized different implements to aid them in swimming; and one of the number selected for this purpose the anchor.
484During a storm, the passengers on a ship that looked like it was in trouble grabbed various tools to help them swim; one of them chose the anchor for this purpose.
A wittol, a barber, and a bald-headed man travelled together. Losing their way, they were forced to sleep in the open air; and, to avert danger, it was agreed to keep watch by turns. The lot fell first on the barber, who, for amusement, shaved the fool’s head while he slept; he then woke him, and the fool, raising his hand to scratch his head, exclaimed, “Here’s a pretty mistake! Rascal, you have waked the bald-headed man instead of me.”
A wittol, a barber, and a bald man were traveling together. Losing their way, they had to sleep outside; to stay safe, they decided to take turns keeping watch. The first watch went to the barber, who, looking for some entertainment, shaved the fool's head while he was asleep. He then woke him up, and the fool, raising his hand to scratch his head, shouted, “What a silly mistake! You woke the bald man instead of me.”
A gentleman had a cask of fine wine, from which his servant stole a large quantity. When the master perceived the deficiency, he diligently inspected the top of the cask, but could find no traces of an opening. “Look if there be not a hole in the bottom,” said a bystander. “Blockhead,” he replied, “do you not see that the deficiency is at the top, and not at the bottom?”
A man had a barrel of fine wine, from which his servant stole a large amount. When the owner noticed the shortage, he carefully checked the top of the barrel but found no signs of an opening. “Check if there’s a hole in the bottom,” suggested a bystander. “You idiot,” he replied, “can’t you see that the shortage is at the top, not the bottom?”
BREVITY.
The London member of the house of Rothschild once wrote to his Paris correspondent to ascertain if any alteration had occurred in the price of certain stocks. The inquiry was only a simple
The London member of the house of Rothschild once wrote to his Paris correspondent to find out if there had been any changes in the price of certain stocks. The inquiry was just a simple
? | |
The reply was equally brief: | |
0 |
Mr. McNair, a man of few words, wrote to his nephew at Pittsburg the following laconic letter:—
Mr. McNair, a man of few words, wrote to his nephew in Pittsburgh the following brief letter:—
Dear Nephew,
Dear Nephew,
To which the nephew replied, by return of mail,—
To which the nephew replied, right away,—
Dear Uncle,
Dear Uncle
The long of this short was, that the uncle wrote to his 485nephew, See my coal on, which a se-mi-col-on expressed; and the youngster informed his uncle that the coal was shipped, by simply saying, Col-on.
The summary of the situation is that the uncle wrote to his nephew, 485 “Check my shipment,” which was indicated by a semi-colon. The young man then let his uncle know that the shipment was sent by just saying, “Sent.”
When Lord Buckley married a rich and beautiful lady, whose hand had been solicited at the same time by Lord Powis, in the height of his felicity he wrote thus to the Duke of Dorset:—
When Lord Buckley married a wealthy and beautiful woman, who was also being courted by Lord Powis, he was so happy that he wrote this to the Duke of Dorset:—
Dear Dorset:—I am the happiest dog alive!
Dear Dorset:—I'm the happiest dog ever!
ANSWER:
ANSWER:
Dear Buckley:—Every dog has his day.
Dear Buckley:—Every dog gets their day.
Louis XIV., who loved a concise style, one day met a priest on the road, whom he asked, hastily,—
Louis XIV, who preferred a brief style, one day encountered a priest on the road and quickly asked him—
“Whence came you—where are you going—what do you want?”
“Where did you come from—where are you going—what do you want?”
The priest instantly replied,—
The priest replied instantly,—
“From Bruges—to Paris—a benefice.”
"From Bruges to Paris: a benefit."
“You shall have it,” replied the king.
“You will have it,” replied the king.
A lady having occasion to call upon Abernethy, the great surgeon, and knowing his repugnance to any thing like verbosity, forbore speaking except simply in reply to his laconic inquiries. The consultation, during three visits, was conducted in the following manner:—
A lady needed to visit Abernethy, the famous surgeon, and knowing that he disliked any kind of wordiness, she refrained from talking except to answer his brief questions. The consultation, over three visits, went like this:—
First Day.—(Lady enters and holds out her finger.) Abernethy.—“Cut?” Lady.—“Bite.” A.—“Dog?” L.—“Parrot.” A.—“Go home and poultice it.”
First Day.—(Lady enters and holds out her finger.) Abernethy.—“Cut?” Lady.—“Bite.” A.—“Dog?” L.—“Parrot.” A.—“Go home and put a compress on it.”
Second Day.—(Finger held out again.) A.—“Better?” L.—“Worse.” A.—“Go home and poultice it again.”
Second Day.—(Finger extended again.) A.—“Better?” L.—“Worse.” A.—“Go home and put another poultice on it.”
Third Day.—(Finger held out as before.) A.—“Better?” L.—“Well.” A.—“You’re the most sensible woman I ever met with. Good-bye. Get out.”
Third Day.—(Finger held out as before.) A.—“Better?” L.—“Well.” A.—“You’re the most sensible woman I’ve ever met. Goodbye. Leave.”
Since Cæsar’s famous “veni, vidi, vici,” (I came, I saw, I conquered,) many military commanders have rendered their despatches memorable for pith and conciseness; but Sir Sidney Smith bears the palm for both wit and brevity in his announcement of the capture of Scinde:—“Peccavi” (I have sinned). Gen. Havelock’s “We are in Lucknow” has already become a matter of history.
Since Caesar’s famous “I came, I saw, I conquered.” (I came, I saw, I conquered), many military leaders have made their reports memorable for their punch and brevity; but Sir Sidney Smith stands out for both wit and succinctness in his announcement of the capture of Scinde:—“I have sinned.” (I have sinned). General Havelock’s “We are in Lucknow” has already entered the history books.
486The following jeu d’esprit, written in 1793, was occasioned by the circumstance of Lord Howe returning from his pursuit of the French fleet, after an absence of six weeks, during which he had only seen the enemy, without having been able to overtake and bring them to action:—
486The following witty remark, written in 1793, was inspired by Lord Howe coming back from chasing the French fleet after being away for six weeks, during which he only saw the enemy but couldn't catch up to them and engage in battle:—
If brevity is the soul of wit, Talleyrand was the greatest of wits. A single word was often sufficient for his keenest retort. When a hypochondriac, who had notoriously led a profligate life, complained to the diplomatist that he was enduring the torments of hell,—“Je sens les tourmens de l’enfer,”—the answer was, “Déjà?” (Already?) To a lady who had lost her husband Talleyrand once addressed a letter of condolence in two words:—“O, Madame!” In less than a year the lady had married again; and then his letter of congratulation was, “Ah, Madame!” Could any thing be more wittily significant than the “O” and the “Ah” of this sententious correspondence?
If brevity is the soul of wit, Talleyrand was the greatest wit of all. Often, just a single word was enough for his sharpest comeback. When a hypochondriac, who had lived a notoriously indulgent life, complained to the diplomat that he was suffering the torments of hell—“Je sens les tourmens de l’enfer”—his response was, “Already?” (Already?) To a woman who had lost her husband, Talleyrand once wrote a condolence letter in two words: “O, Madame!” Less than a year later, the woman remarried, and his letter of congratulations read, “Ah, Madame!” Could anything be more wittily significant than the “O” and the “Ah” in this pointed correspondence?
SAME JOKE DIVERSIFIED.
Prince Metternich once requested the autograph of Jules Janin. The witty journalist sent him the following:—
Prince Metternich once asked for the autograph of Jules Janin. The clever journalist replied with this:—
“I acknowledge the receipt from M. de Metternich of twenty bottles of Johannisberg, for which I return infinite thanks.
“I acknowledge receiving twenty bottles of Johannisberg from M. de Metternich, for which I am extremely grateful.”
The prince, in return, doubled the quantity, and sent him forty bottles.
The prince, in return, doubled the amount and sent him forty bottles.
This is equal to the joke of Rochester on the occasion of Charles II.’s crew of rakes writing pieces of poetry and handing them to Dryden, so that he might decide which was the prettiest poet. Rochester finished his piece in a few minutes; and Dryden decided that it was the best. On reading it, the lines were found to be the following:—
This is like the joke Rochester made when Charles II.’s group of hedonists wrote poetry and gave it to Dryden to see who was the best poet. Rochester whipped up his poem in just a few minutes, and Dryden chose it as the best. When they read it, the lines turned out to be the following:—
“I promise to pay, to the order of John Dryden, twenty pounds.—Rochester.”
“I promise to pay, to the order of John Dryden, twenty pounds.—Rochester.”
487The following hyperbolical compliment paid to Louis XIV., after his numerous victories, is almost literally translated from the French of a Gascon author of those days, and, extraordinary as it may seem, is said to have obtained for the writer of it the premium alluded to in his gasconade:—
487The following exaggerated compliment given to Louis XIV. after his many victories is almost literally translated from the French of a Gascon author from that time, and, surprisingly, it is said to have earned the writer the award mentioned in his boast:—
The Emperor Nicholas of Russia was thus “sold,” a few years ago. During an interview which Martineff, the comedian and mimic, had succeeded in obtaining with the Prince, (Volkhonsky, high steward,) the emperor walked into the room unexpectedly, yet with a design, as was soon made evident. Telling the actor that he had heard of his talents and should like to see a specimen of them, he bade him mimic the old minister. This feat was performed with so much gusto that the emperor laughed immoderately, and then, to the great horror of the poor actor, desired to have himself “taken off.” “’Tis physically impossible,” pleaded Martineff. “Nonsense!” said Nicholas: “I insist on its being done.” Finding himself on the horns of a dilemma, the mimic took heart of grace, and, with a promptitude and presence of mind that probably saved him, buttoned his coat over his breast, expanded his chest, threw up his head, and, assuming the imperial port to the best of his power, strode across the room and back; then, stopping opposite the minister, he cried, in the exact tone and manner of the Czar, “Volkhonsky! pay Monsieur Martineff one thousand silver roubles.” The emperor for a moment was disconcerted; but, recovering himself with a faint smile, he ordered the money to be paid.
The Emperor Nicholas of Russia was “sold” a few years ago. During an interview that Martineff, the comedian and mimic, managed to secure with Prince Volkhonsky, the chief steward, the emperor unexpectedly walked into the room, but he had a plan, as quickly became clear. He told the actor that he had heard about his talents and wanted to see a display of them, asking him to mimic the old minister. Martineff performed this with such enthusiasm that the emperor laughed heartily, and then, to the poor actor’s great horror, insisted that he mimic him instead. “That’s physically impossible,” Martineff pleaded. “Nonsense!” Nicholas responded. “I insist it be done.” Finding himself in a tough spot, the mimic mustered his courage and, with a quick decision and presence of mind that likely saved him, buttoned his coat, puffed up his chest, lifted his head, and, adopting an imperial stance as best as he could, strode across the room and back. Then, stopping in front of the minister, he shouted, in the exact tone and manner of the Czar, “Volkhonsky! Pay Monsieur Martineff one thousand silver roubles.” The emperor was momentarily taken aback; however, regaining his composure with a slight smile, he ordered the money to be paid.
OLD NICK.
When Nicholas Biddle was President of the United States Bank, there was an old negro hanger-on about the premises named Harry. One day, in a social mood, Biddle said to the darkey, “Well what is your name, my old friend?” “Harry, sir—ole Harry, sir,” said the other, touching his shabby hat. “Old Harry!” said Biddle, “why that is the name that they give to the devil, is it not?” “Yes, sir,” said the colored gentleman, “sometimes ole Harry and sometimes ole Nick.”
When Nicholas Biddle was the President of the United States Bank, there was an old Black man hanging around the place named Harry. One day, in a friendly mood, Biddle said to him, “So what’s your name, my old friend?” “Harry, sir—old Harry, sir,” the man replied, tipping his worn hat. “Old Harry!” Biddle exclaimed, “Isn’t that what they call the devil?” “Yes, sir,” the gentleman said, “sometimes old Harry and sometimes old Nick.”
SYLLOGISM.
The famous sorites or syllogism of Themistocles was: That his infant son commanded the whole world, proved thus:—
The famous sorites or syllogism of Themistocles was: That his infant son commanded the whole world, proved this way:—
A FALSE FRIEND.
“You may say what you please,” said Bill Muggins, speaking of a deceased comrade, “Jake was a good boy, he was, and a great hunter; but he was the meanest man that ever breathed in Old Kentuck; and he played one of the sharpest tricks you ever heard of, and I’ll tell you how it was. I was out shootin’ with him one mornin’. I tell you the duck was plenty; and other game we despised as long as we could see duck. Jake he was too mean to blaze away unless he could shoot two or three at a shot. He used to blow me up for wastin’ shot and powder so, but I didn’t care—I banged away. Well, somehow or other, while fussin’ around the boat, my powder-flask fell overboard in about sixteen feet of water, which was as clear as good gin, and I could see the flask lay at the bottom. Jake was a good swimmer, and a good diver, and he said he’d fetch her up; so in a minit he was in. Well, I waited quite a considerable time for him to come up; then I looked over the side for him. Great Jerusalem! there sot old Jake on a pile of oyster-shells pourin’ the powder out of my flask into his’n. Wasn’t that mean?”
“You can say whatever you want,” said Bill Muggins, talking about a deceased friend, “Jake was a good guy, he really was, and a fantastic hunter; but he was the stingiest man ever to walk in Old Kentucky; and he pulled one of the trickiest stunts you’ve ever heard of, and I’ll tell you how it went down. One morning, I was out shooting with him. Let me tell you, there were ducks everywhere; and we ignored other game as long as we could see ducks. Jake was too stingy to shoot unless he could hit two or three at a time. He used to give me a hard time for wasting ammunition like that, but I didn’t care—I just fired away. Well, some way or another, while messing around the boat, my powder flask fell overboard into about sixteen feet of water, which was as clear as good gin, and I could see the flask sitting at the bottom. Jake was a strong swimmer and a great diver, and he said he’d get it; so in a minute, he was in the water. I waited quite a while for him to come back up; then I looked over the side for him. Good grief! there sat old Jake on a pile of oyster shells pouring the powder out of my flask into his. Wasn’t that low?”
GASCONADE AND HOAXING.
A Gascon, in proof of his nobility, asserted that in his father’s castle they used no other firewood than the batons of the different marshals of France of his family.
A Gascon, to prove his nobility, claimed that in his father's castle they only used the batons of the different marshals of France from his family as firewood.
A Gascon officer, on hearing of the boastful exploits of a certain prince, who, among other things, had killed six men with his own hands in the course of an assault upon a city, said, disdainfully, “Poh, that’s nothing: the mattress I sleep on is stuffed with nothing but the whiskers of those I have sent to the other world.”
A Gascon officer, upon hearing about the bragging feats of a certain prince, who, among other things, had killed six men with his bare hands during an attack on a city, said dismissively, “Psh, that’s nothing: the mattress I sleep on is stuffed with nothing but the whiskers of those I’ve sent to the afterlife.”
Vernon’s skill in the invention of marvellous stories has never been surpassed, even by the peddlers of wooden nutmegs. Talking one day about the intense heat of the sun in India, he remarked that it was a common thing there for people to be charred to powder by a coup de soleil, and that upon one occasion, while dining with a Hindoo, one of his host’s wives was suddenly reduced to ashes, whereupon the Hindoo rang the bell, and said to the attendant who answered it, “Bring fresh glasses, and sweep up your mistress.”
Vernon's talent for creating amazing stories has never been matched, even by those who sell wooden nutmegs. One day, while discussing the intense heat of the sun in India, he mentioned that it's common for people there to be scorched to ashes by a sunburn. He recalled an occasion when he was having dinner with a Hindu, and one of his host's wives suddenly turned to ashes. The Hindu then rang the bell and told the attendant who answered, “Bring fresh glasses, and sweep up your mistress.”
Another of his stories was this. He happened to be shooting hyenas near Carthage, when he stumbled, and fell down an abyss of many fathoms’ depth. He was surprised, however, to find himself unhurt; for he lighted as if on a feather bed. Presently he perceived that he was gently moved upward; and, having by degrees reached the mouth of the abyss, he again stood safe on terra firma. He had fallen upon an immense mass of bats, which, disturbed from their slumbers, had risen out of the abyss and brought him up with them.
Another one of his stories goes like this. He was out hunting hyenas near Carthage when he tripped and fell into a deep abyss. Surprisingly, he found himself unharmed, as if he had landed on a feather bed. Soon, he noticed that he was being lifted gently upwards, and after a while, he emerged from the abyss and safely stood on solid ground again. He had fallen onto a huge mass of bats, which, disturbed from their sleep, had flown out of the abyss and lifted him back up with them.
CHARLES MATHEWS AND THE SILVER SPOON.
Soon after Mathews went from York to the Haymarket Theatre, he was invited with other performers to dine with Mr. A——, afterwards an eminent silversmith, but who at that period followed the business of a pawnbroker. It so happened that A—— was called out of the parlor, at the back of the shop, during dinner. Mathews, with wonderful celerity, altering 490his hair, countenance, hat, &c., took a large gravy-spoon off the dinner-table, ran instantly into the street, entered one of the little dark doors leading to the pawnbroker’s counter, and actually pledged to the unconscious A—— his own gravy-spoon. Mathews contrived with equal rapidity to return and seat himself (having left the street-door open) before A—— reappeared at the dinner-table. As a matter of course, this was made the subject of a wager. An éclaircissement took place before the party broke up, to the infinite astonishment of A——.
Soon after Mathews moved from York to the Haymarket Theatre, he and some other performers were invited to have dinner with Mr. A——, who would later become a well-known silversmith but was at that time working as a pawnbroker. During dinner, A—— was called out of the room at the back of the shop. With amazing quickness, Mathews changed his hair, face, hat, and so on, grabbed a large gravy spoon from the dinner table, ran out into the street, went through one of the small dark doors leading to the pawnbroker's counter, and actually pawned his own gravy spoon without A—— noticing. Mathews quickly returned and sat down (leaving the street door open) just before A—— came back to the dinner table. Naturally, this became the topic of a bet. A clarification occurred before the gathering ended, leaving A—— utterly astonished.
A ROYAL QUANDARY.
On the first consignment of Seidlitz Powders to the capital of Delhi, the monarch was deeply interested in the accounts of the refreshing beverage. A box was brought to the king in full court, and the interpreter explained to his majesty how it was to be used. Into a goblet he put the contents of the twelve blue papers; and, having added water, the king drank it off. This was the alkali, and the royal countenance exhibited no sign of satisfaction. It was then explained that in the combination of the two powders lay the luxury; and the twelve white powders were quickly dissolved in water, and as eagerly swallowed by his majesty. With a shriek that will never be forgotten, the monarch rose, staggered, exploded, and, in his agony, screamed, “Hold me down!” Then, rushing from the throne, he fell prostrate on the floor. There he lay during the long-continued effervescence of the compound, spirting like ten thousand pennyworths of imperial pop, and believing himself in the agonies of death, a melancholy and convincing proof that kings are mortal.
On the first shipment of Seidlitz Powders to the capital of Delhi, the king was really curious about the reports of the refreshing drink. A box was presented to him in court, and the interpreter explained how it was supposed to be used. He poured the contents of the twelve blue packets into a goblet; after adding water, the king drank it down. This was the alkali, and the king's expression showed no signs of pleasure. It was then explained that the true luxury was in the combination of the two powders, and the twelve white powders were quickly dissolved in water and eagerly consumed by the king. With a scream that will never be forgotten, the king jumped up, staggered, exploded, and in his agony, yelled, “Hold me down!” Then, dashing from the throne, he collapsed on the floor. He lay there while the mixture fizzed vigorously, bursting like ten thousand cheap sodas, convinced he was dying, providing a sad and clear reminder that even kings are mortal.
RELICS.
“What is this?” said a traveller, who entertained reasonable doubts as to the genuineness of certain so-called relics of antiquity, while visiting an old cathedral in the Netherlands: “what is contained in this phial?”
“What is this?” said a traveler, who had reasonable doubts about the authenticity of some so-called relics of the past, while visiting an old cathedral in the Netherlands. “What’s in this vial?”
491“Sir,” replied the sacristan, “that phial contains one of the frogs picked up when Pharaoh was visited with the plague of frogs.”
491“Sir,” answered the sacristan, “that vial holds one of the frogs collected during the plague of frogs that struck Pharaoh.”
“I am sure, then,” rejoined the traveller, “there could have been no epicures in those days.”
“I’m sure, then,” replied the traveler, “there couldn’t have been any foodies back then.”
“Why so?” said the sacristan.
"Why's that?" said the sacristan.
“Because they would have eaten him, he is so large and fat.”
“Since they would have eaten him, he is so big and heavy.”
The traveller took up another phial which was near. “This contains?” said he,—
The traveler picked up another vial that was nearby. “What does this contain?” he asked,—
“That is a most precious relic of the church, which we value very highly.”
“That is a very valuable relic of the church, which we hold in high regard.”
“It looks very dark.”
“It looks really dark.”
“There is good reason for that.”
“There's a good reason for that.”
“I am somewhat curious. Tell me why.”
“I'm a bit curious. Tell me why.”
“You perceive it is very dark.”
“It’s really dark, you know.”
“I own it.”
"I own that."
“That, sir, is some of the darkness which Moses spread over the land of Egypt.”
"That, sir, is some of the darkness that Moses cast over the land of Egypt."
“Indeed! I presume, what the moderns call darkness made visible.”
“Definitely! I guess what people today refer to as darkness made visible.”
ASSOCIATION OF IDEAS.
“Mother,” asked a little girl, while listening to the reading of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, “why don’t the book never mention Topsy’s last name? I have tried to hear it whenever it speaks of her, but it has not once said it.”
“Mom,” asked a little girl, while listening to the reading of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, “why doesn’t the book ever mention Topsy’s last name? I’ve tried to listen for it whenever she’s talked about, but it hasn’t said it even once.”
“Why, she had no other name, my child.”
“Why, she didn't have any other name, my child.”
“Yes she had, mother, and I know it.”
“Yes, she has, mom, and I get it.”
“Well, what was it?”
"Well, what was that?"
“Why Turvy—Topsy Turvy.”
"Why Turvy—Topsy Turvy."
“You had better go to bed, my dear,” said the mother. “You are as bad as your old grandmother, for she can’t say pork without beans, for the life of her.”
“You should really go to bed, my dear,” said the mother. “You’re just like your old grandmother, because she can’t say pork without beans, no matter what.”
P. AND Q.
When it was fully expected that Mr. W——, whose unmanageable voice had obtained for him the title of “Bubble and 492Squeak,” would be elected Speaker of the House of Commons, and Mr. Canning was so informed, he observed that if the report were true, the members must mind their P’s and Q’s; or else, instead of saying “Mr. Speaker,” they would say “Mr. Squeaker!”
When it was pretty much assumed that Mr. W——, whose hard-to-control voice earned him the nickname “Bubble and Squeak,” would be elected Speaker of the House of Commons, and Mr. Canning was told this, he remarked that if the rumor was true, the members needed to mind their P’s and Q’s; otherwise, instead of saying “Mr. Speaker,” they might end up saying “Mr. Squeaker!”
“JACK ROBINSON.”
Lord Eldon relates that during the parliamentary debates on the India Bill, when Mr. John Robinson was Secretary to the Treasury, Sheridan, on one evening when Fox’s majorities were decreasing, said, “Mr. Speaker, this is not at all to be wondered at, when a member is employed to corrupt everybody in order to obtain votes.” Upon this there was a great outcry by almost everybody in the house. “Who is it?” “Name him! Name him!” “Sir,” said Sheridan to the Speaker, “I shall not name the person. It is an unpleasant and invidious thing to do so; and, therefore, I shall not name him. But don’t suppose, Sir, that I abstain because there is any difficulty in naming him; I could do that, Sir, as soon as you could say ‘Jack Robinson.’”
Lord Eldon recounts that during the parliamentary debates on the India Bill, when Mr. John Robinson was the Treasury Secretary, Sheridan, one evening when Fox’s majorities were shrinking, said, “Mr. Speaker, it’s not surprising at all when a member is trying to bribe everyone to get votes.” This led to a huge uproar from almost everyone in the house. “Who is it?” “Name him! Name him!” “Sir,” Sheridan replied to the Speaker, “I won’t name the person. It’s an unpleasant and unfair thing to do, and that’s why I won’t name him. But don’t think, Sir, that I’m not naming him because it would be hard to do; I could do that, Sir, as quickly as you could say ‘Jack Robinson.’”
A RUSSIAN JESTER AND HIS JOKES.
Popular traditions in Russia unite in representing the jester Balakireff as the constant attendant of Peter the Great, who figures largely in all the stories attached to the name of his buffoon.
Popular traditions in Russia commonly depict the jester Balakireff as a constant companion of Peter the Great, who plays a significant role in all the stories associated with his fool.
On one occasion Balakireff begged permission of his imperial master to attach himself to the guard stationed at the palace, and Peter, for the sake of the joke, consented—warning him at the same time that any officer of the guard who happened to lose his sword, or to be absent from his post when summoned, was punished with death. The newly-made officer promised to do his best; but the temptation of some good wine sent to his quarters that evening by the Czar, “to moisten his commission,” proved too strong for him; and he partook so freely as to become completely “screwed.” While he was sleeping off his 493debauch, Peter stole softly into the room, and carried off his sword. Balakireff missing it on awakening, and frightened out of his wits at the probable consequences, could devise no better remedy than to replace the weapon with his own professional sword of lath,—the hilt and trappings of which were exactly similar to those of the guardsmen. Thus equipped, he appeared on parade the next morning, confident in the assurance of remaining undetected, if not forced to draw his weapon. But Peter, who had doubtless foreseen this contingency, instantly began storming at one of the men for his untidy appearance, and at length faced round upon Balakireff with the stern order, “Captain Balakireff, draw your sword and cut that sloven down!”
One time, Balakireff asked his emperor for permission to join the guard stationed at the palace, and Peter, for the sake of humor, agreed—cautioning him that any guard officer who lost his sword or was absent from his post when called would face death. The new officer promised to do his best; however, the allure of some good wine sent to his quarters that evening by the Czar, “to celebrate his commission,” proved too tempting. He indulged so much that he ended up completely wasted. While he was sleeping off his bender, Peter quietly entered the room and took his sword. When Balakireff woke up and realized it was missing, he panicked at the potential consequences and decided the only solution was to replace the weapon with his own wooden sword—which looked exactly like the real swords of the guardsmen. Armed like this, he showed up for parade the next morning, confident he would stay undetected, as long as he didn’t have to draw his weapon. But Peter, who likely anticipated this situation, immediately started berating one of the men for his messy appearance, and eventually turned to Balakireff with the harsh command, “Captain Balakireff, draw your sword and take that slacker down!”
The poor jester, thus brought fairly to bay, laid his hand on his hilt as if to obey, but at the same time exclaimed fervently, “Merciful Heaven! let my sword be turned into wood!”
The poor jester, feeling trapped, placed his hand on his sword's hilt as if to comply, but at the same time cried out passionately, “Merciful Heaven! please turn my sword into wood!”
And drawing the weapon, he exhibited in very deed a harmless lath. Even the presence of the Emperor was powerless to check the roar of laughter which followed, and Balakireff was allowed to escape.
And pulling out the weapon, he revealed a harmless stick. Even the Emperor's presence couldn't stop the burst of laughter that followed, and Balakireff managed to get away.
The jester’s ingenuity occasionally served him in extricating others from trouble as well as himself. A cousin of his, having fallen under the displeasure of the Czar, was about to be executed; and Balakireff presented himself at Court to petition for a reprieve. Peter, seeing him enter, and at once divining his errand, shouted to him: “It’s no use your coming here; I swear that I will not grant what you are going to ask!”
The jester’s cleverness sometimes helped him get others out of trouble as well as himself. A cousin of his, who had fallen out of favor with the Czar, was about to be executed; and Balakireff showed up at Court to ask for a reprieve. Peter, seeing him come in and immediately understanding his purpose, shouted to him: “There’s no point in you being here; I swear I will not grant what you’re about to ask!”
Quick as thought, Balakireff dropped on his knees, and exclaimed, “Peter Alexejevitch, I beseech you put that scamp of a cousin of mine to death!”
Quick as a thought, Balakireff dropped to his knees and exclaimed, “Peter Alexejevitch, I beg you to put that troublemaking cousin of mine to death!”
Peter, thus caught in his own trap, had no choice but to laugh, and send a pardon to the offender.
Peter, trapped in his own scheme, had no choice but to laugh and forgive the offender.
During one of the Czar’s Livonian campaigns, a thick fog greatly obstructed the movements of the army. At length a pale watery gleam began to show itself through the mist, and 494two of the Russian officers fell to disputing whether this were the sun or not. Balakireff, happening to pass by at that moment, they appealed to him to decide. “Is that light yonder the sun, brother?”
During one of the Czar’s Livonian campaigns, a heavy fog seriously hampered the army's movements. Eventually, a faint, dim light started to appear through the mist, and 494 two of the Russian officers began arguing about whether it was the sun or not. Balakireff happened to walk by at that moment, and they asked him to settle the debate. “Is that light over there the sun, brother?”
“How should I know,” answered the jester; “I’ve never been here before!”
“How should I know?” replied the jester. “I’ve never been here before!”
At the end of the same campaign, several of the officers were relating their exploits, when Balakireff stepped in among them. “I’ve got a story to tell, too,” cried he, boastfully; “a better one than any of yours!”
At the end of the same campaign, several of the officers were sharing their stories when Balakireff joined them. “I’ve got a story to tell, too,” he exclaimed proudly; “a better one than any of yours!”
“Let us hear it, then,” answered the officers; and Balakireff began,—
“Let’s hear it, then,” replied the officers; and Balakireff started,—
“I never liked this way of fighting, all in a crowd together, which they have nowadays; it seems to me more manly for each to stand by himself; and therefore I always went out alone. Now it chanced that one day, while reconnoitering close to the enemy’s outposts, I suddenly espied a Swedish soldier lying on the ground, just in front of me. There was not a moment to lose; he might start up and give the alarm. I drew my sword, rushed upon him, and at one blow cut off his right foot!”
“I’ve never liked fighting in a big crowd like they do now; it feels more manly to stand alone. That’s why I always went out by myself. One day, while scouting near the enemy’s outposts, I suddenly spotted a Swedish soldier lying on the ground right in front of me. There was no time to waste; he could get up and raise the alarm. I drew my sword, charged at him, and with one blow, I chopped off his right foot!”
“You fool!” cried one of the listeners, “you should rather have cut off his head!”
“You idiot!” shouted one of the listeners, “you should have just chopped off his head!”
“So I would,” answered Balakireff, with a grin, “but somebody else had done that already!”
“Sure I would,” Balakireff replied with a grin, “but someone else already did that!”
At times Balakireff pushed his waggeries too far, and gave serious offense to his formidable patron. On one of these occasions the enraged Emperor summarily banished him from the Court, bidding him “never appear on Russian soil again.” The jester disappeared accordingly; but a week had hardly elapsed when Peter, standing at his window, espied his disgraced favorite coolly driving a cart past the very gates of the palace. Foreseeing some new jest, he hastened down, and asked with pretended roughness, “How dare you disobey me, when I forbade you to show yourself on Russian ground?”
At times, Balakireff took his jokes too far and seriously annoyed his powerful patron. On one of those occasions, the furious Emperor quickly banished him from the Court, telling him to “never show up on Russian soil again.” The jester left as instructed; however, within a week, Peter, standing at his window, saw his disgraced favorite casually driving a cart past the palace gates. Anticipating another prank, he rushed downstairs and asked with feigned toughness, “How dare you disobey me when I told you not to appear on Russian land?”
495“I haven’t disobeyed you,” answered Balakireff, coolly; “I’m not on Russian ground now!”
495“I haven’t disobeyed you,” Balakireff replied calmly; “I’m not on Russian soil right now!”
“Not on Russian ground?”
“Not on Russian soil?”
“No; this cart-load of earth that I’m sitting on is Swedish soil. I dug it up in Finland only the other day!”
“No; this cartload of dirt that I’m sitting on is Swedish soil. I just dug it up in Finland the other day!”
Peter, who had doubtless begun already to regret the loss of his jester, laughed at the evasion, and restored him to favor. Some Russian writers embellished this story (a German version of which figures in the adventures of Tyll Eulenspiegel) with the addition that Peter, on hearing the excuse, answered, “If Finland be Swedish soil now, it shall be Russian before long”—a threat which he was not slow to fulfill.
Peter, who was probably already starting to regret losing his jester, chuckled at the excuse and welcomed him back. Some Russian writers added to this story (a German version of which is found in the adventures of Tyll Eulenspiegel) that Peter responded to the excuse with, “If Finland is Swedish land now, it will be Russian soon enough”—a threat he quickly acted on.
The Flashes of Repartee.
Curran, being angry in a debate one day, put his hand on his heart, saying: “I am the trusty guardian of my own honor.” “Then,” replied Sir Boyle Roche, “I congratulate my honorable friend on the snug sinecure to which he has appointed himself.”
Curran, frustrated during a debate one day, placed his hand on his heart and said, “I am the faithful guardian of my own honor.” “Then,” responded Sir Boyle Roche, “I congratulate my honorable friend on the cozy position he has assigned himself.”
On one occasion as the Rev. Matthew Wilkes, a celebrated London preacher, was on his way to a meeting of ministers, he got caught in a shower in the place called Billingsgate, where there were a large number of women dealing in fish, who were using most profane and vulgar language. As he stopped under a shed in the midst of them, he felt called upon to give at least his testimony against their wickedness.
On one occasion, Rev. Matthew Wilkes, a famous preacher from London, was headed to a meeting of ministers when he got caught in a downpour at Billingsgate, where there were many women selling fish, using very profane and vulgar language. As he paused under a shelter among them, he felt compelled to at least speak out against their wrongdoing.
“Don’t you think,” said he, speaking with the greatest deliberation and solemnity, “I shall appear as a swift witness against you in the day of judgment?”
“Don’t you think,” he said, speaking very deliberately and seriously, “I will be a quick witness against you on judgment day?”
“I presume so,” said one, “for the biggest rogue always turns State’s evidence.”
“I guess so,” said one, “because the biggest crook always turns informant.”
496Matthew, when he got to the meeting, related the incident.
496When Matthew arrived at the meeting, he shared what had happened.
“And what did you say in reply, Mr. Wilkes?” said one of the ministers present.
“And what did you say in response, Mr. Wilkes?” asked one of the ministers who was there.
“What could I?” was the characteristic reply.
“What could I?” was the typical response.
The late Mr. Cobden used to tell the following anecdote:—
The late Mr. Cobden used to share this story:—
“When in America,” said he, “I asked an enthusiastic American lady why her country could not rest satisfied with the immense unoccupied territories it already possessed, but must ever be hankering after the lands of its neighbors, when her somewhat remarkable reply was, “Oh, the propensity is a very bad one, I admit; but we came honestly by it, for we inherited it from England.”
“When I was in America,” he said, “I asked an enthusiastic American woman why her country couldn’t be satisfied with the vast unoccupied lands it already had, yet always seemed to be longing for the territories of its neighbors. Her rather interesting response was, ‘Oh, I admit that this tendency is quite a negative one; but we inherited it honestly from England.’”
When Napoleon was only an officer of artillery, a Prussian officer said in his presence with much pride, “My countrymen fight only for glory, but Frenchmen for money.” “You are right,” replied Napoleon; “each of them fight for what they are most in want of.”
When Napoleon was just an artillery officer, a Prussian officer proudly said in front of him, “My countrymen fight only for glory, but the French fight for money.” “You’re right,” Napoleon replied; “each of them fights for what they need most.”
A gentleman complimented a lady on her improved appearance. “You are guilty of flattery,” said the lady. “Not so,” replied he, “for I vow you are as plump as a partridge.” “At first,” responded she, “I thought you guilty of flattery only, but you are now actually making game of me.”
A guy complimented a woman on how much better she looked. “You're just flattering me,” she said. “Not at all,” he replied, “I swear you look as plump as a partridge.” “At first,” she responded, “I thought you were just flattering me, but now you're really making fun of me.”
A pedlar asked an old lady, to whom he was trying to sell some articles, if she could tell him of any road that no pedlar had ever travelled. “I know of but one,” said she, “and that is the road to Heaven.”
A peddler asked an old woman, whom he was trying to sell some items to, if she knew of any road that no peddler had ever traveled. “I only know of one,” she said, “and that's the road to Heaven.”
“What is that dog barking at?” asked a fop, whose boots were more polished than his ideas. “Why,” said the bystander, “he sees another puppy in your boots.”
“What’s that dog barking at?” asked a dandy, whose boots were shinier than his thoughts. “Well,” replied the bystander, “he sees another puppy in your boots.”
A Quaker gentleman, riding in a carriage with a fashionable lady decked with a profusion of jewelry, heard her complaining of the cold. Shivering in her lace bonnet and shawl, as light 497as a cobweb, she exclaimed: “What shall I do to get warm?” “I really don’t know,” replied the Quaker solemnly, “unless thee puts on another breastpin.”
A Quaker man, riding in a carriage with a stylish woman covered in jewelry, heard her complaining about the cold. Shivering in her delicate lace bonnet and shawl, which were as light as a cobweb, she exclaimed, “What can I do to get warm?” “I honestly don’t know,” replied the Quaker seriously, “unless you put on another brooch.”
I dined once with Curran, said one of his friends, in the public room of the chief inn at Greenwich, when he talked a great deal, and, as usual, with considerable exaggeration. Speaking of something which he would not do on any inducement, he exclaimed: “I had rather be hanged upon twenty gibbets.” “Don’t you think, sir, that one would be enough for you?” said a girl, a stranger, who was sitting at the table next to us. You ought to have seen Curran’s face just then.
I once had dinner with Curran, one of his friends said, in the main room of the top inn at Greenwich, where he talked a lot, and, as usual, with quite a bit of exaggeration. When discussing something he absolutely wouldn’t do for any reason, he exclaimed, “I’d rather be hanged on twenty gibbets.” “Don’t you think, sir, that one would be enough for you?” asked a girl, a stranger, sitting at the table next to us. You should have seen Curran’s face at that moment.
A tourist being exceedingly thirsty, stopped at a house by the roadside, and asked for a drink of milk. He emptied several cups, and asked for more. The woman of the house at length brought out a large bowl filled with milk, and setting it down on the table, remarked, “A person would think, sir, that you had never been weaned.”
A very thirsty tourist stopped at a house by the road and asked for a drink of milk. He polished off several cups and asked for more. Eventually, the woman of the house brought out a big bowl filled with milk, set it down on the table, and remarked, “One would think, sir, that you’ve never been weaned.”
Theodore Hook was walking, in the days of Warren’s blacking, where one of the emissaries of that shining character had written on the wall, “Try Warren’s B——,” but had been frightened by the approach of the owner of the property, and had fled. “The rest is lacking,” said the wit.
Theodore Hook was walking during the time of Warren’s shoe polish, where one of the representatives of that well-known figure had written on the wall, “Try Warren’s B——,” but got scared when the property owner came near and took off. “The rest is missing,” said the clever one.
The famous Rochester one day met Dr. Barrow in the Park, and being determined, as he said, to put down the rusty piece of divinity, accosted him by taking off his hat, and with a profound bow, exclaimed: “Doctor, I am yours to my shoe-tie.” The Doctor, perceiving his aim, returned the salute with equal ceremony: “My Lord, I am yours to the ground.” His lordship then made a deeper salam, and said: “Doctor, I am yours to the centre.” Barrow replied, “My Lord, I am yours to the antipodes,” on which Rochester made another attempt by exclaiming. “I am yours to the lowest pit.” “There, my Lord, I leave you,” replied Barrow.
The famous Rochester one day met Dr. Barrow in the park, and determined, as he said, to take down the stubborn man of God, approached him by taking off his hat, and with a deep bow, exclaimed: “Doctor, I am yours to my shoelace.” The Doctor, aware of his intention, returned the gesture with equal formality: “My Lord, I am yours to the ground.” His lordship then made a deeper bow and said: “Doctor, I am yours to the center.” Barrow replied, “My Lord, I am yours to the farthest point on Earth,” to which Rochester responded with another attempt by saying, “I am yours to the deepest pit.” “There, my Lord, I leave you,” replied Barrow.
498A windy M. P., in the midst of a tedious speech, stopped to imbibe a glass of water.
498A talkative M. P., right in the middle of a boring speech, paused to drink a glass of water.
“I rise,” said Sheridan, “to a point of order.”
“I rise,” said Sheridan, “to address a point of order.”
Everybody started, wondering what the point of order was.
Everybody started wondering what the point of order was.
“What is it?” said the speaker.
“What is it?” the speaker asked.
“I think, sir,” said Sheridan, “it is out of order for a windmill to go by water.”
“I think, sir,” said Sheridan, “it’s improper for a windmill to be powered by water.”
At Oxford, some twenty years ago, a tutor in one of the colleges limped in his walk. Stopping one day last summer at a railroad station, he was accosted by a well-known politician, who recognized him, and asked him if he was not the chaplain at the college at such a time, naming the year. The doctor replied that he was. “I was there,” said the interrogator, “and I know you by your limp.” “Well,” said the doctor, “it seems that my limping made a deeper impression on you than my preaching.” “Ah, doctor,” was the ready reply, “it is the highest compliment we can pay a minister to say that he is known by his walk, rather than by his conversation.”
At Oxford, about twenty years ago, a tutor at one of the colleges walked with a limp. One day last summer, he was stopped at a train station by a well-known politician who recognized him and asked if he was the chaplain at the college during such and such year. The doctor confirmed that he was. “I was there,” said the politician, “and I remember you by your limp.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “it looks like my limp made a bigger impression on you than my preaching.” “Ah, doctor,” came the quick response, “it’s the greatest compliment we can give a minister to say he’s remembered for his walk instead of his words.”
When Onslow was speaker of the British House of Commons, a member, who was very fond of hearing himself speak—though nobody would listen to him—on one occasion made a direct appeal to the chair, in consequence of the accustomed noise that was going on: “Mr. Speaker, I desire to know if I have not a right to be heard?” The speaker hoped, at first, to escape the necessity of a reply, by calling “Order! Order!” but this proving, as usual, of no avail, the honorable member inquired, in a louder tone than before, “Sir, have not I a right to be heard?” “Sir,” replied Onslow, “you have a right to speak.”
When Onslow was the speaker of the British House of Commons, there was a member who really liked to hear himself talk—even though nobody wanted to listen to him. One time, he directly appealed to the speaker because of the usual noise happening around him: “Mr. Speaker, can you tell me if I have the right to be heard?” At first, the speaker hoped to avoid having to answer by calling out “Order! Order!” but since that didn’t work, the honorable member asked, even louder, “Sir, do I not have a right to be heard?” “Sir,” responded Onslow, “you have the right to speak.”
Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, abhorred smoking. His Quaker Council one day observing him approach, laid down their pipes. “I am glad to see,” said Penn, “that you are ashamed of that vile habit.” “Not at all,” said a principal Friend, “we only lay down our pipes lest we should offend a weak brother.”
Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, hated smoking. One day, his Quaker Council saw him coming and put down their pipes. “I’m glad to see,” said Penn, “that you’re ashamed of that nasty habit.” “Not at all,” replied a key Friend, “we just put down our pipes so we don’t offend a weak brother.”
499A saloon-keeper having started business in a building where trunks had been made, asked a friend what he had better do with the old sign, “Trunk Factory.” “O,” said the friend, “just change the T to D, and it will suit you exactly.”
499A bar owner who set up shop in a building that used to make trunks asked a friend what to do with the old sign that said, “Trunk Factory.” “Oh,” the friend replied, “just change the T to a D, and it will be perfect for you.”
Years ago, when Henry Ward Beecher’s reputation was not world-wide, a Western Young Men’s Christian Association tried to persuade the divine to go out and lecture to them without charge, saying it would increase his fame. He telegraphed in reply: “I will lecture for F. A. M. E.—fifty and my expenses.”
Years ago, when Henry Ward Beecher wasn’t famous worldwide, a Young Men’s Christian Association from the West tried to convince him to give a free lecture for them, saying it would boost his fame. He replied with a telegram: “I will lecture for F. A. M. E.—fifty and my expenses.”
Admiral Keppel was sent to the Dey of Algiers to negotiate the restoration of some English vessels which had been captured by Algerine pirates. He advocated the cause entrusted to him with a warmth and spirit which completely confounded the Dey’s ideas of what was due to absolute power. “I wonder,” said the offended dignitary, “at the King of England’s insolence in sending me such a foolish, beardless boy.”
Admiral Keppel was sent to the Dey of Algiers to negotiate the return of some English ships that had been taken by Algerian pirates. He passionately defended the cause entrusted to him, completely baffling the Dey’s understanding of what should be expected from absolute power. “I’m amazed,” said the insulted dignitary, “at the King of England’s arrogance in sending me such a foolish, young boy.”
“Had my master,” retorted Keppel, “considered that wisdom was to be measured by the length of the beard, he would have sent you a he-goat.”
“Had my master,” Keppel replied, “thought that wisdom was judged by the length of a beard, he would have sent you a goat.”
Thackeray tells us of a woman begging alms from him, who, when she saw him put his hand in his pocket, cried out: “May the blessing of God follow you all your life!” But, when he only pulled out his snuff-box, she immediately added: “And never overtake ye.”
Thackeray shares a story about a woman who was asking him for money. When she saw him reach into his pocket, she exclaimed, “May God bless you for the rest of your life!” But when he just took out his snuff-box, she quickly added, “And may that blessing never catch up with you.”
Dr. Reid, the celebrated medical writer, was requested by a lady of literary eminence to call at her house. “Be sure you recollect the address,” she said as she quitted the room—“No. 1 Chesterfield street.” “Madam,” said the doctor, “I am too great an admirer of politeness not to remember Chesterfield, and, I fear, too selfish ever to forget Number One.”
Dr. Reid, the well-known medical writer, was asked by a lady of literary distinction to come to her house. “Make sure you remember the address,” she said as she left the room—“No. 1 Chesterfield Street.” “Madam,” the doctor replied, “I admire politeness too much not to remember Chesterfield, and I’m afraid I’m too self-centered to ever forget Number One.”
Two men disputing about the pronunciation of the word “either”—one saying it was ee-ther, the other i-ther—agreed to refer it to the first person they met, who happened to be an Irishman, who confounded both by declaring, “it’s nayther, for it’s ayther.”
Two guys arguing about how to pronounce the word "either"—one saying it’s ee-ther, the other i-ther—decided to ask the first person they met, who turned out to be an Irishman, who confused them both by saying, “it’s nayther, because it’s ayther.”
500A Parisian millionaire once wrote to the celebrated comic author, Scribe:—“Honored Sir—I wish very much to ally my name with yours in the creation of a dramatic work. Will you be so kind as to write a comedy of which I shall compose one or two lines, so that I may be mentioned in the title; I will bear the entire pecuniary expense, so that I may divide the glory.” Scribe, who was vain even to conceit, replied:—“Sir—I regret that I cannot comply with your modest request. It is not in accordance with my ideas of religion or propriety that a horse and an ass should be yoked together.” To which the millionaire quickly responded:—“Sir—I have received your impertinent letter. How dare you call me a horse!”
500A wealthy Parisian once wrote to the famous comic writer, Scribe:—“Dear Sir—I really want to connect my name with yours in creating a play. Would you be kind enough to write a comedy where I can add one or two lines, so I can be included in the title? I’ll cover all the costs, so I can share in the fame.” Scribe, who was quite conceited, replied:—“Sir—I’m afraid I can’t agree to your modest request. It doesn’t align with my sense of dignity or propriety to pair a horse and a donkey together.” To which the millionaire shot back:—“Sir—I received your rude letter. How dare you call me a horse!”
Voltaire was warmly panegyrizing Haller one day, when a person present remarked that his eulogy was very disinterested, for Haller did not speak well of him. “Ah, well,” said Voltaire, “perhaps we are both of us mistaken.”
Voltaire was praising Haller enthusiastically one day when someone in the group pointed out that his praise seemed very selfless since Haller didn't speak highly of him. "Oh, well," Voltaire replied, "maybe we're both wrong."
An Irishman, abusing Erin, declared that it contained nothing good but the whiskey. Whereupon a wag observed, “You mean to say, then, that with all her faults you love her still.”
An Irishman, complaining about Ireland, said it had nothing good except for the whiskey. To this, a clever person replied, “So, you’re saying that despite all her flaws, you still love her.”
Bacon relates that a fellow named Hogg importuned Sir Nicholas to save his life on account of the kindred between Hog and Bacon. “Aye,” replied the judge, “but you and I cannot be kindred except you be hanged, for Hog is not Bacon until it be well hanged.”
Bacon shares that a guy named Hogg begged Sir Nicholas to save his life because of the connection between Hog and Bacon. “Sure,” replied the judge, “but you and I can’t be related unless you’re hanged, because Hog isn’t Bacon until it’s properly hanged.”
Lord Eldon, struck by the appearance of a beautiful woman passing Westminster Hall, expressed his admiration freely. The lady overhearing, returned the compliment by pronouncing him to a friend near by a most excellent judge.
Lord Eldon, taken aback by the sight of a beautiful woman walking by Westminster Hall, openly shared his admiration. The lady, overhearing him, returned the compliment by telling a nearby friend that he was a truly excellent judge.
Thackeray, while in Charleston, S. C., was introduced to Mrs. C., one of the leaders of its society. In his pert way he said, “I am happy to meet you, madam; I have heard that you are a fast woman.” “Oh, Mr. Thackeray,” she replied with a fascinating smile, “we must not believe all we hear; I had heard, sir, that you were a gentleman.”
Thackeray, while he was in Charleston, S.C., was introduced to Mrs. C., one of the prominent figures in its society. In his cheeky manner, he said, “I’m glad to meet you, ma’am; I’ve heard that you’re quite the socialite.” “Oh, Mr. Thackeray,” she responded with a charming smile, “we shouldn’t believe everything we hear; I’d heard, sir, that you were a gentleman.”
501Mr. Spurgeon rebuked certain of his followers who refused to interfere in politics on the ground that they were “not of this world.” This, he argued, was mere metaphor. “You might as well,” said he, “being sheep of the Lord, decline to eat mutton-chop on the plea that it would be cannibalism.”
501Mr. Spurgeon criticized some of his followers who wouldn’t engage in politics because they believed they were “not of this world.” He argued that this was just a metaphor. “You might as well,” he said, “as being sheep of the Lord, refuse to eat mutton-chop because you think it's cannibalism.”
A young barrister, intending to be very eloquent, observed, “such principles as these, my Lord, are written in the Book of Nature.” “What page, sir?” said Lord Chief Justice Ellenborough; and the orator was silenced for life.
A young lawyer, aiming to be very articulate, remarked, “These principles, my Lord, are written in the Book of Nature.” “What page, sir?” asked Lord Chief Justice Ellenborough; and the speaker was silenced for life.
The Sexes.
Mrs. Jameson, speaking of the mistaken belief that there are essential masculine and feminine virtues and vices, says it is not the quality itself, but the modification of the quality, which is masculine or feminine; and on the manner or degree in which these are balanced or combined in the individual, depends the perfection of that individual character. As the influences of religion are extended and as civilization advances, those qualities which are now admired as essentially feminine will be considered as essentially human,—such as gentleness, purity, the more unselfish and spiritual sense of duty, and the dominance of the affections over the passions. This is, perhaps, what Buffon, speaking as a naturalist, meant when he said that with the progress of humanity Les races se féminisent. The axiom of the Greek philosopher Antisthenes, the disciple of Socrates, The virtue of the man and the woman is the same, 502shows a perception of this moral truth, a sort of anticipation of the Christian doctrine, even in the pagan times.
Mrs. Jameson, discussing the common misconception that there are specific masculine and feminine virtues and vices, states that it's not the quality itself, but how that quality is expressed that is masculine or feminine. The way these qualities are balanced or combined in a person determines the strength of their character. As religious influence grows and civilization progresses, traits currently seen as primarily feminine will be viewed as inherently human—like gentleness, purity, a more selfless and spiritual sense of duty, and the prioritization of emotions over desires. This might be what Buffon, as a naturalist, meant when he said that with the advancement of humanity, Races are becoming more feminine. The saying of the Greek philosopher Antisthenes, a student of Socrates, The virtue of the man and the woman is the same, 502 reflects an understanding of this moral truth, anticipating Christian teachings even in pagan times.
Every reader of Wordsworth will recollect the poem entitled The Happy Warrior. It has been quoted as an epitome of every manly, soldierly, and elevated quality. Those who make the experiment of merely substituting the word WOMAN for the word WARRIOR, and changing the feminine for the masculine pronoun, will find that it reads equally well, and from beginning to end is literally as applicable to the one sex as to the other. As thus:—
Every reader of Wordsworth will remember the poem called The Happy Warrior. It's often quoted as a summary of all manly, soldierly, and noble traits. If you try simply replacing the word WOMAN for WARRIOR and changing the masculine pronouns to feminine ones, you’ll see that it flows just as well, and from start to finish, it’s just as relevant to one gender as it is to the other. Like this:—
CHARACTER OF THE HAPPY WOMAN.
Mrs. Jameson adds that in all these fifty-six lines there is only one line which cannot be feminized in its significance,—that filled up with asterisks, and which is totally at variance with the ideal of a happy woman. It is the line—
Mrs. Jameson adds that in all these fifty-six lines there is only one line that cannot be made feminine in its meaning— the one filled with asterisks, which completely contradicts the idea of a happy woman. It is the line—
No woman could exist happily or virtuously in such complete independence of all external affections as these words express. “Her desire is to her husband:” this is the sort of subjection prophesied for the daughters of Eve. A woman doomed to exist without this earthly rest for her affections does not “in herself possess her own desire;” she turns towards God; and, if she does not make her life a life of worship, she makes it a life of charity, or she dies a spiritual and a moral death. Is it much better with the man who concentrates his aspirations in himself?
No woman can be truly happy or virtuous while completely independent of all outside love, as these words suggest. “Her desire is for her husband:” this is the kind of submission foretold for the daughters of Eve. A woman who is destined to live without this earthly comfort for her affections does not “possess her own desire within herself;” she turns to God; and, if she doesn’t dedicate her life to worship, she dedicates it to charity, or she faces a spiritual and moral death. Is it really any better for the man who focuses all his hopes within himself?
THE PRAISE OF WOMEN.
PARALLEL OF THE SEXES.
There is an admirable partition of qualities between the sexes, which the great Author of being has distributed to each with a wisdom which calls for our admiration. Man is strong,—woman is beautiful. Man is daring and confident,—woman is diffident and unassuming. Man is great in action,—woman, in suffering. Man shines abroad,—woman, at home. Man talks to convince,—woman, to persuade and please. Man has a rugged heart,—woman, a soft and tender one. Man prevents misery,—woman relieves it. Man has science,—woman, taste. Man has judgment,—woman, sensibility. Man is a being of justice,—woman, of mercy.
There’s a remarkable division of qualities between the sexes, which the great Creator has assigned to each with a wisdom that deserves our admiration. Man is strong—woman is beautiful. Man is bold and self-assured—woman is modest and humble. Man excels in action—woman, in endurance. Man stands out in public—woman, at home. Man speaks to convince—woman, to persuade and charm. Man has a tough heart—woman, a gentle and caring one. Man prevents suffering—woman eases it. Man values knowledge—woman, aesthetics. Man possesses reason—woman, sensitivity. Man embodies justice—woman, compassion.
FEMALE SOCIETY.
The following remarks come with peculiar force from one of such querulous and unconnubial habits as John Randolph:—
The following comments carry a unique weight from someone like John Randolph, who is known for his complaining and unmarried ways:
You know my opinion of female society: without it we should degenerate into brutes. This observation applies with tenfold force to young men, and those who are in the prime of manhood. For, after a certain time of life, the literary man makes a shift (a poor one, I grant) to do without the society of ladies. To a young man nothing is so important as a spirit of devotion (next to his Creator) to some amiable woman, whose image may occupy his heart and guard it from the pollution that besets it on all sides. A man ought to choose his wife as Mrs. Primrose did her wedding-gown,—for qualities that will “wear well.” One thing at least is true, that, if matrimony has its cares, celibacy has no pleasures. A Newton, or a mere scholar, may find enjoyment in study; a man of literary taste can receive in books a powerful auxiliary; but a man must have a bosom friend, and children around him, to cherish and support the dreariness of old age.
You know how I feel about women’s social circles: without them, we would just become animals. This is even more true for young men and those in the prime of their lives. After a certain age, a literary man tries (though not very successfully, I admit) to manage without the company of women. For a young man, nothing is as important as being devoted (after his Creator) to some wonderful woman, whose image can fill his heart and protect it from the negativity all around. A man should choose his wife like Mrs. Primrose chose her wedding dress — for qualities that will last. One thing is definitely true: while marriage comes with its worries, being single doesn’t offer any joys. A Newton or even just a scholar can find satisfaction in study; a man who appreciates literature can find strong support in books, but a man needs a close friend and children around him to help ease the loneliness of old age.
WIFE—MISTRESS—LADY.
Who marries for love takes a wife; who marries for convenience takes a mistress; who marries from consideration takes a lady. You are loved by your wife, regarded by your mistress, 506tolerated by your lady. You have a wife for yourself, a mistress for your house and its friends, a lady for the world. Your wife will agree with you, your mistress will accommodate you, your lady will manage you. Your wife will take care of your household, your mistress of your house, your lady of appearances. If you are sick, your wife will nurse you, your mistress will visit you, your lady will inquire after your health. You take a walk with your wife, a ride with your mistress, and join parties with your lady. Your wife will share your grief, your mistress your money, and your lady your debts. If you are dead, your wife will shed tears, your mistress lament, and your lady wear mourning.—From the German.
Who marries for love chooses a wife; who marries for convenience chooses a mistress; who marries out of obligation chooses a lady. You are loved by your wife, acknowledged by your mistress, and tolerated by your lady. You have a wife for yourself, a mistress for your home and its friends, and a lady for social appearances. Your wife will agree with you, your mistress will accommodate you, and your lady will manage you. Your wife will handle your household, your mistress will manage your home, and your lady will take care of appearances. If you are sick, your wife will nurse you, your mistress will visit you, and your lady will check on your health. You take a walk with your wife, a ride with your mistress, and attend events with your lady. Your wife will share your sorrow, your mistress your wealth, and your lady your obligations. If you pass away, your wife will cry, your mistress will mourn, and your lady will wear black.—From the German.
MY MOTHER.
That was a thrilling scene in the old chivalric time—the wine circling around the board, and the banquet-hall ringing with sentiment and song—when, the lady of each knightly heart having been pledged by name, St. Leon arose in his turn, and, lifting the sparkling cup on high, said,—
That was an exciting scene in the old days of chivalry—the wine flowing around the table, and the banquet hall filled with emotion and music—when, after each lady had been honored by name, St. Leon stood up in his turn, raised the sparkling cup high, and said,—
LETTER TO A BRIDE.
The following letter was written by an old friend to a young lady on the eve of her wedding day:—
The following letter was written by an old friend to a young woman on the night before her wedding day:—
I have sent you a few flowers to adorn the dying moments of your single life. They are the gentlest types of delicate and durable friendship. They spring up by our side when others have deserted it; and they will be found watching over our graves when those who should cherish have forgotten us. It seems that a past, so calm and pure as yours, should expire with a kindred sweetness about it,—that flowers and music, kind friends and earnest words, should consecrate the hour when a sentiment is passing into a sacrament.
I’ve sent you some flowers to brighten the final moments of your single life. They represent the gentlest forms of lasting friendship. They grow beside us when others have left; and they’ll be there to keep watch over our graves when those who should care have forgotten us. It feels right that a past as calm and pure as yours should end with a sense of sweetness—flowers and music, kind friends and sincere words should honor the moment when a feeling transforms into something sacred.
The three great stages of our being are the birth, the bridal, and the burial. To the first we bring only weakness—for the last we have nothing but dust! But here at the altar, when life joins life, the pair come throbbing up to the holy man, whispering the deep promise that arms each other’s heart, to help on in the life-struggle of care and duty. The beautiful will be there, borrowing new beauty from the scene. The gay and thoughtless, with their flounces and frivolities, will look solemn for once. Youth will come to gaze upon the object of its secret yearnings; and age will totter up to hear the words repeated that to their own lives had given the charm. Some will weep over it as if it were a tomb, and some laugh over it as if it were a joke; but two must stand by it, for it is fate, not fun, this everlasting locking of their lives.
The three major stages of our existence are birth, marriage, and death. For the first, we only bring weakness—while for the last, we have nothing but dust! But here at the altar, when two lives come together, the couple approaches the officiant, quietly exchanging a profound promise that connects their hearts, supporting each other in the struggles of life, care, and responsibility. The beautiful will be present, gaining new beauty from the moment. The carefree and frivolous, in their fancy outfits and lightheartedness, will appear serious for once. Youth will come to admire the object of its secret desires; and the elderly will shuffle forward to hear the words spoken that once added charm to their own lives. Some will cry over it as if it were a funeral, while others will laugh as if it were a joke; but two must stand by it, because this is fate, not fun—this everlasting binding of their lives.
And now, can you, who have queened it over so many bending forms, can you come down at last to the frugal diet of a single heart? Hitherto you have been a clock, giving your time to all the world. Now you are a watch, buried in one particular bosom, warming only his breast, marking only his hours, and ticking only to the beat of his heart—where time and feeling shall be in unison, until those lower ties are lost in that higher wedlock, where all hearts are united.
And now, can you, who have ruled over so many bending forms, come down at last to the simple diet of a single heart? Until now, you have been a clock, giving your time to everyone. Now you are a watch, nestled in one particular embrace, warming only his chest, counting only his hours, and ticking only to the rhythm of his heart—where time and emotion will be in harmony, until those lower connections disappear in that higher union, where all hearts are joined.
Hoping that calm and sunshine may hallow your clasped hands, I sink silently into a signature.
Hoping that peace and sunshine will bless your joined hands, I quietly fade into a signature.
Moslem Wisdom.
SHREWD DECISION OF ALI, CALIPH OF BAGDAD.
In the Preliminary Dissertation to Dr. Richardson’s Arabic Dictionary the following curious anecdote is recorded:—
In the introduction to Dr. Richardson’s Arabic Dictionary, the following interesting story is noted:—
Two Arabians sat down to dinner: one had five loaves, the other three. A stranger passing by desired permission to eat with them, which they agreed to. The stranger dined, laid down eight pieces of money, and departed. The proprietor of the five loaves took up five pieces and left three for the other, who objected, and insisted on having one-half. The cause came before Ali, who gave the following judgment:—“Let the owner of the five loaves have seven pieces of money, and the owner of the three loaves one; for, if we divide the eight loaves by three, they make twenty-four parts; of which he who laid down the five loaves had fifteen, while he who laid down three had only nine. As all fared alike, and eight shares was each man’s proportion, the stranger ate seven parts of the first man’s property, and only one belonging to the other. The money, in justice, must be divided accordingly.”
Two Arabs sat down for dinner: one had five loaves and the other had three. A stranger passing by asked if he could join them, and they agreed. The stranger ate, then left eight pieces of money before he left. The owner of the five loaves took five pieces and left three for the other, who complained and insisted on getting half. The case was brought before Ali, who made the following ruling: “Let the owner of the five loaves keep seven pieces of money, and the owner of the three loaves keep one. If we divide the eight loaves among three people, it amounts to twenty-four portions; the one with five loaves contributed fifteen portions, while the one with three loaves only contributed nine. Since they all received the same amount, and eight shares represent each person's share, the stranger consumed seven parts of the first man's loaves and just one part from the other. Therefore, the money must be divided justly.”
THE WISDOM OF ALI.
MOHAMMEDAN LOGIC.
The laws of Cos discountenance in a very singular manner any cruelty on the part of females towards their admirers. An instance occurred while Dr. Clarke and his companions were on the island, in which the unhappy termination of a love-affair occasioned a trial for what the Mohammedan lawyers casuistically describe as “homicide by an intermediate cause.” The following was the case: a young man desperately in love with a girl of Stanchis eagerly sought to marry her, but his proposals 510were rejected. In consequence, he destroyed himself by poison. The Turkish police arrested the father of the obdurate fair, and tried him for culpable homicide. “If the accused,” argued they, with much gravity, “had not had a daughter, the deceased would not have fallen in love; consequently he would not have been disappointed; consequently he would not have swallowed poison; consequently he would not have died;—but the accused had a daughter, the deceased had fallen in love,” &c. Upon all these counts he was called upon to pay the price of the young man’s life; and this, being fixed at the sum of eighty piastres, was accordingly exacted.
The laws of Cos uniquely discourage any cruelty from women towards their admirers. While Dr. Clarke and his companions were on the island, there was a tragic outcome of a love affair that led to a trial for what the Mohammedan lawyers cleverly call “homicide by an intermediate cause.” The case was as follows: a young man, deeply in love with a girl from Stanchis, desperately wanted to marry her, but she rejected his proposals. As a result, he took his own life by poisoning. The Turkish police arrested the father of the heartless girl and charged him with culpable homicide. “If the accused,” they argued solemnly, “did not have a daughter, the deceased would not have fallen in love; thus, he would not have faced disappointment; therefore, he would not have ingested poison; consequently, he would not have died;—but the accused had a daughter, the deceased fell in love,” and so on. Based on all these points, he was required to pay the price for the young man’s life, which was set at eighty piastres and was accordingly collected.
THE ALEXANDRIAN LIBRARY.
Said Omar, “Either these books are in conformity with the Koran, or they are not. If they are, they are useless, and if not, they are evil: in either event, therefore, let them be destroyed.”
Said Omar, “These books are either in line with the Koran, or they aren’t. If they are, they’re pointless, and if they aren’t, they’re harmful: so in either case, let’s get rid of them.”
Such was the logic that led to the destruction of seven hundred thousand manuscript volumes.
Such was the reasoning that resulted in the destruction of seven hundred thousand manuscript volumes.
TURKISH EXPEDIENTS.
A Turkish testator left to his eldest son one-half of his seventeen horses, to his second son one-third, to his third son one-ninth of his horses. The executor did not know what to do, as seventeen will neither divide by two, nor by three, nor by nine. A dervise came up on horseback, and the executor consulted him. The dervise said, “Take my horse, and add him to the others.” There were then eighteen horses. The executor then gave to the eldest son one-half,—nine; to the second son one-third,—six; to the third son one-ninth,—two: total, seventeen. The dervise then said, “You don’t want my horse now; I will take him back again.”
A Turkish testator left half of his seventeen horses to his eldest son, a third to his second son, and a ninth to his third son. The executor was confused because seventeen can’t be evenly divided by two, three, or nine. A dervish rode up on horseback, and the executor asked for his advice. The dervish said, “Take my horse and add him to the others.” Now there were eighteen horses. The executor then gave the eldest son half—nine; the second son a third—six; and the third son a ninth—two: which adds up to seventeen. The dervish then said, “You don’t need my horse anymore; I’ll take him back.”
Excerpta from Persian Poetry.
EARTH AN ILLUSION.
HEAVEN AN ECHO OF EARTH.
A MORAL ATMOSPHERE.
FORTUNE AND WORTH.
BROKEN HEARTS.
TO A GENEROUS MAN.
BEAUTY’S PREROGATIVE.
PROUD HUMILITY.
FOLLY FOR ONE’S SELF.
THE IMPOSSIBILITY.
THE SOBER DRUNKENNESS.
A WINE-DRINKER’S METAPHORS.
FROM MIRTSA SCHAFFY.
THE DOUBLE PLOT.
THE WORLD’S UNAPPRECIATION.
The lyrical poems of the East called Ghazels, of which the following, from Trench, is a brief specimen, have this peculiarity,—that the first two lines rhyme, and for this rhyme recurs a new one in the second line of each succeeding couplet, the alternate lines being free:—
The lyrical poems of the East called Ghazels, of which the following, from Trench, is a brief example, have this unique feature: the first two lines rhyme, and in the second line of each following couplet, a new rhyme appears, while the alternate lines are free:—
THE CALIPH AND SATAN.
Epigrams.
MARTIAL’S EPIGRAM ON EPIGRAMS.
MIDAS AND MODERN STATESMEN.
INSCRIBED ON A STATUE TO SLEEP.
TO DR. ROBERT FREIND, WHO WROTE LONG EPITAPHS.
THE FOOL AND THE POET.
DUM VIVIMUS VIVAMUS.
TO “MOLLY ASTON,”
ON ONE IGNORANT AND ARROGANT.
TO OUR BED.
LATE REPENTANCE.
ON A PALE LADY WITH A RED-NOSED HUSBAND.
ON SOME SNOW THAT MELTED ON A LADY’S BREAST.
SELYAGGI’S DISTICH ADDRESSED TO JOHN MILTON.
DRYDEN’S AMPLIFICATION.
ON BUTLER’S MONUMENT.
OVERDRAWN COMPLIMENT.
SUGGESTED BY A GERMAN TOURIST.
ETERNITY.
OCCASIONED BY THE LOSS OF A CLERGYMAN’S PORTMANTEAU,
TO A LIVING AUTHOR.
THE FRUGAL QUEEN.
ON COMMISSARY GOLDIE’S BRAINS.
GIVING AND TAKING.
TO ——.
“Moria pur quando vuol non è bisogna mutar ni faccia ni voce per esser un Angelo.”
“Moria can be an Angel whenever she wants, without changing her face or her voice.”
THE LOVER TO HIS MISTRESS, WITH A PRESENT OF A MIRROR.
TO A CAPRICIOUS FRIEND.
MENDAX.
ON FELL.
ON AN ILL-READ LAWYER.
WOMAN’S WILL.
WELLINGTON’S NOSE.
ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER.
BAD SONGSTERS.
ON A BAD FIDDLER.
ON A CERTAIN D.D.
ON AN OLD LADY WHO MARRIED HER FOOTMAN.
“HOT CORN.”
BONNETS.
In 1817, when straw bonnets first came into general use, it was common to trim them with artificial wheat or barley, in ears; whence the following:—
In 1817, when straw bonnets first became popular, it was common to decorate them with fake wheat or barley, in ears; hence the following:—
Campbell, the poet, was asked by a lady to write something original in her album. He wrote,—
Campbell, the poet, was asked by a woman to write something original in her album. He wrote,—
PRUDENT SIMPLICITY.
TO A FRIEND IN DISTRESS.
HOG vs. BACON.
A WARM RECEPTION.
MEDICAL ADVICE.
DEFINITION OF A DENTIST.
523Dr. Samuel Goodenough, Bishop of Carlisle, preached on one occasion before the House of Commons. The event gave rise to the following:—
523Dr. Samuel Goodenough, Bishop of Carlisle, gave a sermon one time in front of the House of Commons. This event led to the following:—
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
A REFLECTION.
“THE WOMAN GAVE ME OF THE TREE.”
THE BLADES OF THE SHEARS.
524The following was written by Southey on Queen Elizabeth’s dining on board Sir Francis Drake’s ship, on his return from circumnavigating the globe:—
524The following was written by Southey about Queen Elizabeth dining on Sir Francis Drake’s ship when he returned from sailing around the world:—
INVISIBLE.
IMPERSONAL.
AFFINITIES.
THE CRIER WHO COULD NOT CRY.
THE PARSON AND BUTCHER.
THE CLOCK.
MASCULINE.
IN RETURN FOR A LADY’S SKETCH OF THE APOLLO.
WIDOWS.
526The following epigram by Samuel Rogers, on Lord Dudley’s studied speeches in Parliament, was pronounced by Byron, in conversation with Lady Blessington, “one of the best in the English language, with the true Greek talent of expressing, by implication, what is wished to be conveyed:”—
526The following saying by Samuel Rogers about Lord Dudley’s carefully crafted speeches in Parliament was described by Byron, during a conversation with Lady Blessington, as “one of the best in the English language, showcasing the true Greek talent of implying what is meant to be conveyed:”—
On the marriage of Dr. Webb with Miss Gould, a classical friend sent him the following:—
On Dr. Webb's marriage to Miss Gould, a classic friend sent him the following:—
AFTER GOING TO LAW.
SAME JAWBONE.
A FUNNY DETERMINATION.
MARRIAGE In style.
QUID PRO QUO.
WOMAN—CONTRA.
WOMAN—PRO.
ABUNDANCE OF FOOLS.
THE WORLD.
END WITHOUT HEARING.
DOUBLE VISION UTILIZED.
Impromptus.
One day, as Dr. Young was walking in his garden at Welwyn in company with two ladies, (one of whom he afterwards married,) the servant came to acquaint him that a gentleman wished to speak with him. “Tell him,” said the doctor, “I am too happily engaged to change my situation.” The ladies insisted that he should go, as his visitor was a man of rank, his patron, and his friend. But, as persuasion had no effect, one took him by the right arm, the other by the left, and led him to the garden-gate; when, finding resistance in vain, he bowed, laid his hand upon his heart, and, in that expressive manner for which he was so remarkable, spoke the following lines:—
One day, as Dr. Young was walking in his garden at Welwyn with two ladies—one of whom he later married—a servant came to tell him that a gentleman wanted to speak with him. "Tell him," the doctor said, "I’m too happily engaged to change what I’m doing." The ladies insisted he should go, since his visitor was a man of rank, his patron, and his friend. But when persuasion didn’t work, one lady took his right arm while the other took his left, leading him to the garden gate; realizing resistance was useless, he bowed, placed his hand on his heart, and in that expressive way he was known for, spoke the following lines:—
Ben Jonson having been invited to dine at the Falcon Tavern, where he was already deeply in debt, the landlord promised to wipe out the score if he would tell him what God, and the devil, and the world, and the landlord himself, would be best pleased with. To which the ready poet promptly replied:—
Ben Jonson was invited to dinner at the Falcon Tavern, where he was already heavily in debt. The landlord promised to clear his tab if he would tell him what would please God, the devil, the world, and the landlord himself the most. To which the quick-witted poet replied:—
A well-known instance of self-extrication from a dilemma is thus rendered in rhyme:—
A well-known example of getting yourself out of a tough situation is presented here in rhyme:—
529Burns, going into church one Sunday and finding it difficult to procure a seat, was kindly invited by a young lady into her pew. The sermon being upon the terrors of the law, and the preacher being particularly severe in his denunciation of sinners, the lady, who was very attentive, became much agitated. Burns, on perceiving it, wrote with his pencil, on a blank leaf of her Bible, the following:—
529Burns, walking into church one Sunday and struggling to find a seat, was graciously invited by a young lady to join her in her pew. The sermon was about the harshness of the law, and the preacher was especially tough on sinners, which made the lady, who was very focused, quite anxious. Burns, noticing her distress, wrote with his pencil on a blank page of her Bible the following:—
One evening at the King’s Arms, Dumfries, Burns was called from a party of friends to see an impertinent coxcomb in the form of an English commercial traveller, who patronizingly invited the Ayrshire Ploughman to a glass of wine at his table. Entering into conversation with the condescending stranger, Burns soon saw what sort of person he had to deal with. About to leave the room, the poet was urged to give a specimen of his facility in impromptu versifying, when, having asked the name and age of the conceited traveller, he instantly penned and handed him the following stanza,—after which he abruptly departed:—
One evening at the King’s Arms in Dumfries, Burns was pulled away from a group of friends to deal with an arrogant English salesman, who condescendingly invited the Ayrshire Ploughman to join him for a glass of wine at his table. As Burns started chatting with the pompous stranger, he quickly realized what kind of person he was dealing with. Just as he was about to leave the room, the poet was encouraged to showcase his talent for spontaneous verse. After asking for the name and age of the smug traveler, he instantly wrote and handed him the following stanza—then he left abruptly:—
After Burke had finished his extraordinary speech against Warren Hastings, the latter (according to the testimony of his private secretary, Mr. Evans) wrote the following sarcastic impromptu:—
After Burke wrapped up his amazing speech against Warren Hastings, the latter (based on the account of his private secretary, Mr. Evans) wrote the following sarcastic response:—
Dr. Johnson’s definition of a note of admiration (!), made on the moment, is very neat:—
Dr. Johnson's definition of a note of admiration (!), made in the moment, is very concise:—
An old gentleman named Gould, having married a young lady of nineteen, thus addressed his friend Dr. G. at the wedding festival:—
An older man named Gould, who had married a young woman of nineteen, said to his friend Dr. G. at the wedding celebration:—
To which the doctor replied,—
The doctor replied,—
When Percy first published his collection of Ancient English Ballads, he was rather lavish in commendation of their beautiful simplicity. This provoked Dr. Johnson to say one evening, at the tea-table of Miss Reynolds, that he could rhyme as well and as elegantly in common narrative and conversation. “For instance,” said he,—
When Percy first published his collection of Ancient English Ballads, he praised their lovely simplicity quite a bit. This led Dr. Johnson to say one evening, at Miss Reynolds's tea table, that he could rhyme just as well and as elegantly in everyday storytelling and conversation. “For example,” he said,—
Or, to render such poetry subservient to my own immediate use,—
Or, to make such poetry serve my own immediate needs,—
Mr. Fox, the great orator, was on one occasion told by a lady that she “did not care three skips of a louse for him.” He immediately took out his pencil and wrote the following:—
Mr. Fox, the great speaker, was once told by a lady that she “did not care three skips of a louse for him.” He quickly took out his pencil and wrote the following:—
Barty Willard, who formerly lived in the northern part of Vermont, was noted for his careless, vagabond habits, ready wit, and remarkable facility at extempore rhyming. Sitting one day in a village store, among a crowd of idlers who always gathered about him on his arrival, the merchant asked Barty “why he always wore that shocking bad hat.” Barty replied that it was simply because he was unable to purchase a new one.
Barty Willard, who used to live in northern Vermont, was known for his carefree, wandering lifestyle, sharp humor, and impressive knack for spontaneous rhyming. One day, while sitting in a village store surrounded by a group of regulars who always gathered around him when he showed up, the shopkeeper asked Barty, “Why do you always wear that terrible hat?” Barty responded that it was just because he couldn't afford a new one.
“Come,” said the merchant; “make me a good rhyme on the old hat immediately, without stopping to think, and I’ll give you the best castor in the store.” Whereupon Barty threw his old tile on the floor, and began:—
“Come on,” said the merchant; “make me a good rhyme about the old hat right now, without thinking it over, and I’ll give you the best beaver hat in the store.” With that, Barty tossed his old hat on the floor and started:—
The new hat was adjudged, by the “unanimous vote of the house,” to belong to Barty, who wore it off in triumph, saying, “it was a poor head that couldn’t take care of itself.”
The new hat was decided, by the “unanimous vote of the house,” to belong to Barty, who wore it off in triumph, saying, “it was a poor head that couldn’t take care of itself.”
An Oxford and Cambridge man, who had had frequent disputes concerning the divinity of Christ, chancing to meet in company, the former, with a serio-comical air, wrote the following lines and handed them to the latter:—
An Oxford and Cambridge guy, who had often argued about the divinity of Christ, happened to run into the other one. With a mix of seriousness and humor, the first guy wrote the following lines and gave them to the second:—
Whereupon the “heretic” retorted,—
Then the “heretic” replied,—
532The common phrase Give the Devil his due, was turned very wittily by a member of the bar in North Carolina, some years ago, on three of his legal brethren. During the trial of a case, Hillman, Dews, and Swain (all distinguished lawyers, and the last-named President of the State University) handed James Dodge, the Clerk of the Supreme Court, the following epitaph:—
532The well-known saying Give the Devil his due was cleverly adapted by a lawyer in North Carolina a few years back, aimed at three of his fellow attorneys. During a trial, Hillman, Dews, and Swain (all notable lawyers, with Swain being the President of the State University) presented James Dodge, the Clerk of the Supreme Court, with the following epitaph:—
Mr. Dodge sent back to the gentlemen the annexed impromptu reply, which may be considered equal to any thing ever expressed in the best days of Queens Anne or Bess:—
Mr. Dodge sent the attached spontaneous reply back to the gentlemen, which can be considered on par with anything expressed during the best days of Queen Anne or Queen Bess:—
A lady wrote with a diamond on a pane of glass,—
A woman wrote with a diamond on a piece of glass,—
To which a gentleman added,—
To which a man added,—
A lady wrote upon a window some verses, intimating her design of never marrying. A gentleman wrote the following lines underneath:—
A woman wrote some verses on a window, expressing her intention of never getting married. A man wrote the following lines underneath:—
Sir Walter Raleigh having written on a window,—
Sir Walter Raleigh wrote on a window, —
Queen Elizabeth, the instant she saw it, wrote under it,—
Queen Elizabeth, as soon as she saw it, wrote underneath it,—
Perhaps the most delicate flattery ever uttered was that of the ambassador, who, being asked by a beautiful queen, upon his introduction to her court, whether a celebrated beauty in his own country was the handsomest woman he had ever seen, replied, “I thought so yesterday.”
Perhaps the most subtle flattery ever expressed was by the ambassador, who, when asked by a beautiful queen during his introduction to her court whether a famous beauty in his own country was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, replied, “I thought so yesterday.”
533A party of gentlemen at Lord Macclesfield’s, one evening, agreed to amuse themselves by drawing tickets on which various uncomplimentary devices were written. These were extemporaneously turned into compliments by Cowper as follows:—
533One evening at Lord Macclesfield’s, a group of gentlemen decided to entertain themselves by drawing tickets with various unflattering remarks written on them. Cowper spontaneously transformed these into compliments as follows:—
Vanity.—Drawn by Lord Macclesfield. | |
Be vain, my lord, you have a right; | |
For who, like you, can boast this night, | |
A group assembled in one place | |
Fraught with such beauty, wit and grace? | |
Insensibility.—Mr. Marsham. | |
Insensible can Marsham be? | |
Yes and no fault you must agree; | |
His heart his virtue only warms, | |
Insensible to vice’s charms. | |
Inconstancy.—Mr. Adams. | |
Inconstancy there is no harm in, | |
In Adams where it looks so charming: | |
Who wavers as, he well may boast, | |
Which virtue he shall follow most. | |
Impudence.—Mr. St. John. | |
St. John, your vice you can’t disown: | |
For in this age ’tis too well known, | |
That impudent that man must be | |
Who dares from folly to be free. | |
Intemperance.—Mr. Gerard. | |
Intemperance implies excess: | |
Changed though the name, the fault’s not less; | |
Yet, blush not, Gerard, there’s no need,— | |
In all that’s worthy you exceed. | |
A Blank was drawn by Mr. Legge. | |
If she a blank for Legge designed, | |
Sure Fortune is no longer blind; | |
For we shall fill the paper given | |
With every virtue under heaven. | |
Cowardice.—Gen. Caillard. | |
Most soldiers cowardice disclaim, | |
But Caillard owns it without shame; | |
Bold in whate’er to arms belong, | |
He wants the courage to do wrong. |
534A traveller, upon reading the inscription affixed to the gates of Bandon, (a town in Ireland originally peopled by English Protestants,)—
534A traveler, upon reading the inscription attached to the gates of Bandon, (a town in Ireland originally settled by English Protestants),—
wrote the following smart reply underneath:—
wrote the following clever response underneath:—
At one of Burns’ convivial dinners he was requested to say grace; whereupon he gave the following impromptu:—
At one of Burns' lively dinners, he was asked to say the blessing; and he delivered the following impromptu:—
Refractory Rhyming.
When Canning was challenged to find a rhyme for Julianna, he immediately wrote,—
When Canning was asked to come up with a rhyme for Julianna, he quickly wrote,—
Ipecacuanha lozenges, though a myth when the stanza was written, are now commonly sold by apothecaries.
Ipecacuanha lozenges, once a myth when the line was written, are now commonly sold by pharmacies.
Three or four wits, while dining together, discussed the difficulty of finding rhymes for certain names. General Morris challenged any of the party to find a happy rhyme for his name; and the challenge was instantly taken up by John Brougham, whose facility at extempore rhyming is proverbial:—
Three or four clever people, while having dinner together, talked about how hard it is to find rhymes for certain names. General Morris dared anyone at the table to come up with a good rhyme for his name; John Brougham quickly accepted the challenge, as he's known for his knack for spontaneous rhyming:—
535Some years ago a French speculator found himself ruined by a sudden collapse in the stock-market. He resolved to commit suicide, but, as he was a connoisseur in monumental literature, he decided first to compose his own epitaph. The first line—a very fine one—terminated with the word triomphe. To this, search as he might, he could find no rhyme, and he could not bring himself to sacrifice his beloved line. Time passed, finding him still in search of his rhyme, assisted by a number of benevolent friends, but all in vain. One day a promising speculation presented itself: he seized the opportunity and regained his fortune.
535Some years ago, a French speculator found himself broke after a sudden stock market crash. He decided to end his life, but since he was a lover of great literature, he first wanted to write his own epitaph. The first line—a beautiful one—ended with the word triumph. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t find a rhyme for it, and he couldn’t bring himself to let go of his cherished line. Time went by, and he was still looking for a rhyme, with help from some kind friends, but it was all unsuccessful. One day, a promising investment opportunity came up: he took it and regained his fortune.
The rhyme so zealously sought has at length been found, and the epitaph completed. Here it is:—
The rhyme we've been searching for has finally been found, and the epitaph is finished. Here it is:—
Monogomphe; a brilliant Hellenism signifying “who has but a single tooth.”
Monogomphe; a clever Greek term meaning “who has only one tooth.”
To get a rhyme in English for the word month was quite a matter of interest with curious people years ago, and somebody made it out or forced it by making a quatrain, in which a lisping little girl is described as saying:—
To find a rhyme in English for the word month was a topic of interest for curious people years ago, and someone figured it out or created it by crafting a quatrain, in which a lisping little girl is described as saying:—
Another plan was to twist the numeral one into an ordinal. For instance:—
Another plan was to change the numeral one into an ordinal. For example:—
A parallel lisp is as follows:—
A parallel lisp is like this:—
536And
And
But these are hardly fair. The rhyme is good, but the English is bad. Christina Rosetti has done better in the admirable book of nursery rhymes which she has published under the title of Sing-Song:—
But these aren't really fair. The rhyme is good, but the English isn't great. Christina Rossetti has done better in her wonderful collection of nursery rhymes titled Sing-Song:—
In both of these instances, however, the rhymes are evasions of the real issue. The problem is not to make a word by compounding two, or distorting one, but to find a word ready-made, in our unabridged dictionaries that will rhyme properly to month. We believe there is none. Nor is there a fair rhyme to the word silver, nor to spirit, nor to chimney. Horace Smith, one of the authors of the Rejected Addresses, once attempted to make one for chimney on a bet, and he did it in this way:—
In both of these cases, though, the rhymes are just avoiding the real issue. The challenge isn't about making a word by combining two or twisting one, but about finding an existing word in our complete dictionaries that will rhyme with month. We don’t think there is one. There’s also no good rhyme for the word silver, spirit, or chimney. Horace Smith, one of the writers of Rejected Addresses, once tried to come up with a rhyme for chimney as part of a bet, and he did it like this:—
Another dissyllabic poser is liquid. Mr. C. A. Bristed attempts to meet it as follows:—
Another two-syllable challenge is liquid. Mr. C. A. Bristed tries to tackle it as follows:—
And “Mickey Rooney” contributes this:—
And “Mickey Rooney” adds this:—
Some one having challenged a rhyme for carpet, the following “lines to a pretty barmaid” were elicited in response:—
Somebody challenged a rhyme for carpet, and this is what came out: “lines to a pretty barmaid”:—
Rhymes were thus found for window:—
Rhymes were found for window:—
This for garden:—
This for garden:—
The difficulty with porringer has thus been overcome:—
The difficulty with the porringer has now been resolved:—
And in this stanza:—
And in this verse:—
538These for orange and lemon:—
These for orange and lemon:—
has traveled far out of his way before succeeding with widow:—
has traveled far out of his way before succeeding with the widow:—
Pickwick loquitur:—
Pickwick speaks:—
Among the stubborn proper names are Tipperary and Timbuctoo. The most successful effort to match the latter was an impromptu by a gentleman who had accompanied a lady home from church one Sunday evening, and who found her hymn-book is his pocket next morning. He returned it with these lines:—
Among the stubborn proper names are Tipperary and Timbuktu. The most successful attempt to match the latter was an off-the-cuff response from a man who had walked a woman home from church one Sunday evening and discovered her hymn book in his pocket the next morning. He returned it with these lines:—
Another attempt runs thus:—
Another attempt goes like this:—
An unattainable rhyme might be sought for Euxine, had not Byron said—
An impossible rhyme might be looked for with Euxine, if Byron hadn't said—
539The following is from Tom Moore’s Fudge Family in Paris:—
539The following is from Tom Moore’s Fudge Family in Paris:—
A request for a rhyme for Mackonochie elicited numerous replies, one of which, in reference to a charitable occasion, begins thus:—
A request for a rhyme for Mackonochie received many responses, one of which, regarding a charitable event, starts like this:—
Canning’s amusing little extravaganza, with which everybody is familiar, beginning:—
Canning's entertaining little performance, which everyone knows, starting:—
has been parodied a hundred times; but it is itself a parody of Pindar, whose fashion of dividing words in his odes all students of the classics have abundant occasion to remember. The last stanza was appended by William Pitt,—a fact not generally known:—
has been parodied a hundred times; but it is itself a parody of Pindar, whose style of splitting words in his odes all students of the classics have plenty of chances to recall. The last stanza was added by William Pitt—a fact that isn't widely known:—
Of these fantastic rhymes, Richard Harris Barham, has given us the finest examples in the language, in his celebrated “Ingoldsby Legends.” In the legend “Look at the Clock,” we have this:—
Of these amazing rhymes, Richard Harris Barham has given us the best examples in the language in his famous “Ingoldsby Legends.” In the legend “Look at the Clock,” we have this:—
540This from “The Ghost”:—
This from "The Ghost":—
In the “Tragedy” we have one even more whimsical and comical:—
In the “Tragedy,” we have something even more playful and funny:—
Byron has more than matched any of these in completeness of rhyme and extent, if we may call it so, of rhyming surface, and matched even himself in acidity of cynicism, in his couplet:—
Byron has more than matched any of these in the completeness of his rhymes and their range, if we can refer to it that way, and has even outdone himself in his sharp cynicism, in his couplet:—
Punch has some very funny samples of eccentric rhymes, of which the best is one that spells out the final word of a couplet, the last letter or two, making so many syllables rhyme with the ending word of the preceding line. Thus:—
Punch has some really funny examples of quirky rhymes, with the best one being where it spells out the last word of a couplet, the final letter or two, causing several syllables to rhyme with the ending word of the previous line. So:—
Twenty-five years or more ago, in Boston, Monday was the gathering time for Universalist clergymen, Tompkins’ book store being the place of rendezvous. At these unions, King, Chapin, Hosea Ballou, Whittemore, and other notabilities, were pretty sure to be present; and as it was immediately after the graver labors of the Sabbath, the parsons were apt to be in an unusually frisky condition.
Twenty-five years ago or more, in Boston, Monday was the time for Universalist ministers to meet up, with Tompkins’ bookstore as their meeting spot. At these gatherings, King, Chapin, Hosea Ballou, Whittemore, and other notable figures were usually present; and since it was right after the serious work of Sunday, the ministers tended to be in a particularly lively mood.
541Chapin, ordinarily, is of reticent habit; but when the company is congenial, and he is in exhilarant mood, his wonderful flow of language and quick perception make him a companion rarely equalled for wit and repartee. On one occasion, when King and Chapin, and a dozen other clergymen were at Tompkins’s, as was their wont, Chapin began to rhyme upon the names of those present. Without a moment’s hesitation, he ran off the name of each, rhyming it in verse, to the huge delight of the company. Finally, after exhausting that list, the names of absent clergymen were given to the ready poet, and there was not a single failure. At last a clergyman said:—
541Chapin is usually pretty reserved, but when he's with the right people and in a good mood, his amazing way with words and sharp insight make him an unmatched companion for wit and banter. One time, when King, Chapin, and about a dozen other clergymen were at Tompkins's, as they often did, Chapin started rhyming the names of everyone there. Without missing a beat, he quickly came up with a rhyme for each name, much to the delight of the group. After running through that list, they gave him the names of clergymen who weren't there, and he didn't stumble on a single one. Finally, a clergyman said:—
“I can give you a name, Brother Chapin, to which you cannot make a rhyme.”
“I can give you a name, Brother Chapin, that you won’t be able to rhyme with.”
“Well, what is it?”
“What's going on?”
“Brother Brimblecomb.”
“Brother Brimblecomb.”
Without a moment’s pause, Chapin said:—
Without skipping a beat, Chapin said:—
Butler’s facility in overcoming stubborn words is amusing. For instance:—
Butler's knack for getting past difficult words is entertaining. For example:—
Coleridge, on the eve of his departure from Göttingen, being requested by a student of the same class in the university to write in his Stammbuch, or album, complied as follows:—
Coleridge, the night before he left Göttingen, was asked by a fellow student in his university class to write in his Stammbuch, or album, and he obliged with the following:—
Father Prout, in his polyglot praise of rum punch, says:—
Father Prout, in his multilingual appreciation of rum punch, says:—
543Hood’s Nocturnal Sketch presents a remarkable example of la difficulté vaincue. Most bards find it sufficiently difficult to obtain one rhyming word at the end of a line; but Hood secures three, with an ease which is as graceful as it is surprising:—
543Hood’s Nocturnal Sketch showcases an impressive example of overcoming difficulty. Most poets struggle just to find one rhyming word at the end of a line; however, Hood manages to find three, with a skill that is both elegant and unexpected:—
Valentines.
A STRATEGIC LOVE-LETTER.
The following love-letter, dated in 1661, was sent by Philip, second Earl of Chesterfield, to Lady Russell:—
The following love letter, dated 1661, was sent by Philip, the second Earl of Chesterfield, to Lady Russell:—
Madam:—The dullness of this last cold season doth afford nothing that is new to divert you; only here is a report that I fain would know the truth of, which is, that I am extremely in love with you. Pray let me know if it be true or no, since I am certain that nothing but yourself can rightly inform me; for if you intend to use me favorably, and do think I am in love with you, I most certainly am so; but if you intend to receive me coldly, and do not believe that I am in love, I also am sure that I am not; therefore let me entreat you to put me out of a doubt which makes the greatest concern of,
Madam:—The dullness of this recent cold season hasn’t brought anything new to entertain you; however, I have heard a rumor that I really want to know the truth about: that I am deeply in love with you. Please let me know whether this is true or not, as I’m sure only you can truly inform me; if you plan to treat me kindly and believe that I am in love with you, then I absolutely am; but if you intend to treat me coldly and don’t believe I am in love, then I know I’m not. So, I ask you to help me clear up this doubt that weighs heavily on my mind.
(It is the part of a skillful general to secure a good retreat.)
(It is the role of a skilled general to ensure a safe retreat.)
WRITTEN IN SYMPATHETIC INK.
CRYPTOGRAPHIC CORRESPONDENCE.
A lady wrote to a gentleman thus:—
A woman wrote to a man like this:—
“I shall be much obliged to you, as reading alone engages my attention at present, if you will lend me any one of the Eight volumes of the Spectator. I hope you will excuse this freedom, but for a winter’s evening I don’t know a better entertainment. If I fail to return it soon, never trust me for the time to come.”
“I would really appreciate it if you could lend me one of the Eight volumes of the Spectator, as reading alone is what I’m interested in right now. I hope you’ll forgive my boldness, but I can't think of a better way to spend a winter’s evening. If I don't return it soon, you can safely assume I’m not trustworthy for the future.”
The words successively italicized convey the secret invitation.
The words that are italicized one after another reveal the hidden invitation.
MACAULAY’S VALENTINE.
The following valentine from Lord Macaulay to the Hon. Mary C. Stanhope, daughter of Lord and Lady Mahon, 1851, is worthy of being preserved for the sake as much of its author as of its own merits:—
The following valentine from Lord Macaulay to the Hon. Mary C. Stanhope, daughter of Lord and Lady Mahon, 1851, is worth keeping for both its author and its own qualities:—
St. Valentine’s Day, 1851.
Valentine's Day, 1851.
Very tender are Burns’ verses to his ladie loves. For instance:—
Very tender are Burns’ verses to his lady loves. For example:—
TEUTONIC ALLITERATION.
O du Dido, die du da den, der den, den du liebst liebt, lieb ’o liebste des Freundes, den Freund des Freundes, des Freundes wegen.[22]
Oh you Dido, who loves the one that loves the one you love, dear to the friend, the friend of the friend, for the friend’s sake.[22]
[O you Dido, you who, him, who him you love, loves, love O dearest of the friend, the friend’s friend, for the friend’s sake.]
[O you Dido, you who, him, whom you love, loves, love O dearest of the friend, the friend’s friend, for the friend’s sake.]
A LOVER TO HIS SWEETHEART.
Your face, | your tongue, | your wit, |
So fair, | so sweet, | so sharp, |
First bent, | then drew, | then hit, |
Mine eye, | mine ear, | my heart. |
Mine eye, | mine ear, | my heart, |
To like, | to learn, | to love, |
Your face, | your tongue, | your wit, |
Doth lead, | doth teach, | doth move. |
Your face, | your tongue, | your wit, |
With beams, | with sound, | with art, |
Doth bind, | doth charm, | doth rule, |
Mine eye, | mine ear, | my heart. |
Mine eye, | mine ear, | my heart, |
With life, | with hope, | with skill, |
Your face, | your tongue, | your wit, |
Doth feed, | doth feast, | doth fill. |
O face! | O tongue! | O wit! |
With frowns, | with check, | with smart, |
Wrong not, | vex not, | wound not, |
Mine eye, | mine ear, | my heart. |
This eye, | this ear, | this heart, |
Shall joy, | shall bend, | shall swear, |
Your face, | your tongue, | your wit, |
To serve, | to trust, | to fear. |
The lines may be read either from left to right, or from above downwards. They may also be read in various directions.
The lines can be read from left to right or from top to bottom. They can also be read in different directions.
CARDIAC EFFUSION.
Somebody named John Birchall wrote the following lines in 1684 with his “heart’s blood”:—
Somebody named John Birchall wrote the following lines in 1684 with his “heart’s blood”:—
MACARONIC VALENTINE.
George Digby, Earl of Bristol, one of the most graceful writers of the Seventeenth Century, is credited with this:—
George Digby, Earl of Bristol, one of the most elegant writers of the 17th century, is credited with this:—
A COLORED MAN’S LOVE-LETTER.
A colored man living in Detroit had long admired a colored widow in a neighboring street, but being afraid to reveal his passion, went to a white man and asked him to write the lady a letter asking her hand in marriage. The friend wrote, telling the woman in a few brief lines that the size of her feet was the talk of the neighborhood, and asking her if she couldn’t pare them down a little. The name of the colored man was signed, and he was to call on her for an answer. Subsequently the writer of the letter met the negro limping along the street, and asked him what the widow said. The man showed him a bloodshot eye, a scratched nose, a lame leg, and a spot on the scalp where a handful of wool had been violently jerked out; and he answered in solemn tones: “She didn’t say nuffin, an’ I didn’t stay dar mor’n a minute!”
A Black man living in Detroit had long admired a Black widow on a nearby street, but being too afraid to share his feelings, he went to a white man and asked him to write the woman a letter proposing marriage. The friend wrote a brief note, mentioning that the size of her feet was the talk of the neighborhood, and asked if she could maybe make them smaller. The letter was signed with the Black man's name, and he was supposed to visit her for a response. Later, the writer of the letter saw the Black man limping down the street and asked what the widow said. The man showed him a bloodshot eye, a scratched nose, a lame leg, and a bald spot on his scalp where a handful of hair had been roughly pulled out; and he replied in a serious tone: “She didn’t say nothing, and I didn’t stay there more than a minute!”
UNPUBLISHED VERSES OF THOMAS MOORE.
EGYPTIAN SERENADE.
PETITIONS.
THE MAIDS AND WIDOWS.
The following petition, signed by sixteen maids of Charleston, South Carolina, was presented to the Governor of that province in March, 1733, “the day of the feast”:—
The following petition, signed by sixteen maids of Charleston, South Carolina, was presented to the Governor of that province in March, 1733, “the day of the feast”:—
The humble petition of all the Maids whose names are underwritten:—Whereas, We the humble petitioners are at present in a very melancholy disposition of mind, considering how all the bachelors are blindly captivated by widows, and our more youthful charms thereby neglected: the consequence of this our request is, that your Excellency will for the future order that no Widow shall presume to marry any young man till the maids are provided for; or else to pay each of them a fine for satisfaction, for invading our liberties; and likewise a fine to be laid on all such bachelors as shall be married to widows. The great disadvantage it is to us maids, is, that the widows, by their forward carriages, do snap up the young men; and have the vanity to think their merits beyond ours, which is a great imposition upon us who ought to have the preference.
The humble petition of all the Maids whose names are signed below:—Whereas, We, the humble petitioners, are currently feeling very sad about how all the bachelors are blindly taken by widows, leaving our youthful charms overlooked. The result of this request is that your Excellency will in the future mandate that no widow shall marry any young man until the maids are taken care of; or alternatively, to pay each of us a fine for infringing on our liberties, and also impose a fine on all bachelors who marry widows. The significant disadvantage for us maids is that the widows, with their bold behavior, snatch up the young men and have the audacity to believe their qualities are superior to ours, which is an unfair burden on us who deserve the first choice.
This is humbly recommended to your Excellency’s consideration, and hope you will prevent any farther insults.
This is respectfully submitted for your consideration, and I hope you will prevent any further insults.
And we poor Maids as in duty bound will ever pray.
And we poor girls, as we’re supposed to, will always pray.
P. S.—I, being the oldest maid, and therefore most concerned, do think it proper to be the messenger to your Excellency in behalf of my fellow subscribers.
P. S.—As the oldest maid and the one most concerned, I believe it’s appropriate for me to deliver this message to your Excellency on behalf of my fellow subscribers.
A MALADROIT PETITION.
An autograph of Madame de Maintenon has recently been discovered at Chateau-Guinon, the history of which is curious. A worthy priest of Cuiseaux, a small Commune of La Brasse, desiring to repair his church, which was becoming dilapidated, had the happy idea of addressing himself to Madame de Maintenon, whose charitable bounty was upon every tongue. Not 551being in the habit of corresponding with the great, the style of his supplication cost him much thought, but at last he produced a memorial commencing as follows:—
An autograph of Madame de Maintenon was recently found at Chateau-Guinon, and its history is fascinating. A dedicated priest from Cuiseaux, a small Community in La Brasse, wanted to fix up his church, which was falling apart. He had the clever idea to reach out to Madame de Maintenon, whose generosity was well-known. Since he wasn't used to writing to important people, he put a lot of effort into crafting his request, and eventually, he came up with a memorial that began like this:—
“Madame:—You enjoy the reputation, which I doubt not is well founded, of according your favors to all who solicit them. I therefore venture to appeal to your bounty in behalf of the church of Cuiseaux,” etc.
“Madam:—You have the reputation, which I have no doubt is well earned, of granting your favors to everyone who asks for them. I therefore take the liberty of appealing to your generosity on behalf of the church of Cuiseaux,” etc.
The exalted lady had no sooner cast her eyes upon the poor priest’s unlucky exordium, than she flew into a rage, and had him thrown into prison, whence it was with great difficulty that his friends procured a release. The story seems apocryphal, but the memorial bears the following indorsement in the handwriting of Madame de Maintenon:—The lieutenant of police is ordered to issue a lettre-de-cachet against the signer of this petition.
The esteemed lady barely glanced at the poor priest’s unfortunate opening remarks before she erupted in anger and had him thrown into jail, from which his friends struggled to secure his release. The tale seems questionable, but the record has this note written in Madame de Maintenon’s handwriting:—The police chief is instructed to issue a lettre de cachet against the signer of this petition.
Sonnets.
WRITING A SONNET.
IN A FASHIONABLE CHURCH.
THE PROXY SAINT.
ABOUT A NOSE.
DYSPEPSIA.
HUMILITY.
AVE MARIA.
Conformity of Sense to Sound.
ARTICULATE IMITATION OF INARTICULATE SOUNDS.
Remarkable examples are afforded by Dryden’s Alexander’s Feast, and The Bells of Edgar A. Poe.
Remarkable examples include Dryden’s Alexander’s Feast and Edgar A. Poe’s The Bells.
IMITATION OF TIME AND MOTION.
The well-known hexameters of Virgil, descriptive respectively of the galloping of horses over a resounding plain, and of the heavy blows in alternately hammering the metal on the anvil, afford good examples,—the dactylic, of rapidity, the spondaic, of slowness.
The famous lines of Virgil, which describe the sound of horses galloping across a thundering plain and the forceful impacts of metal being hammered on an anvil, provide clear examples—the dactylic for quickness, and the spondaic for slowness.
IMITATION OF DIFFICULTY AND EASE.
Familiar Quotations from Unfamiliar Sources.
No Cross, no Crown.
Corporations have no souls.
A corporation aggregate of many is invisible, immortal, and vests only in intendment and consideration of the law. They cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicate, for they have no souls, neither can they appear in person, but by attorney.—Coke’s Reports, vol. x. p. 32.
A corporation made up of many people is invisible, immortal, and exists only in terms of intentions and legal considerations. They can't commit treason, can't be outlawed, and can't be excommunicated, for they have no souls, and they can't appear in person, only through an attorney.—Coke’s Reports, vol. x. p. 32.
Men are but children of a larger growth;
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
Consistency a Jewel.
In the search for the source of familiar quotations, none appears to have so completely baffled patient seekers as the phrase “Consistency is a jewel.” Several years ago a perplexed scholar offered a handsome reward for the discovery of its origin. Not till quite recently, however, has the claim been set up that the original was found in the “Ballad of Jolly Robyn Roughhead,” which is preserved in “Murtagh’s Collection of Ancient English and Scottish Ballads.” The stanza in which it occurs is the following:—
In the search for the source of familiar quotes, none seems to have baffled persistent seekers as much as the phrase “Consistency is a jewel.” A few years ago, a confused scholar offered a nice reward for finding its origin. However, it wasn't until recently that someone claimed the original was found in the “Ballad of Jolly Robyn Roughhead,” which is included in “Murtagh’s Collection of Ancient English and Scottish Ballads.” The stanza where it appears is as follows:—
Cleanliness next to Godliness.
The origin of the proverb, “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” has been the subject of extended investigation. Bartlett’s “Familiar Quotations” attributes the phrase to Rev. John Wesley; but as this prominent Methodist clergyman uses this sentence in his sermons as a quotation from some other work, it has been suggested that further search is requisite. Rev. Dr. A. S. Bettelheimer, of Richmond, Va., asserts that he has discovered this maxim in an abstract of religious principles contained in an old commentary on the Book of Isaiah. Thus the practical doctrines of religion are resolved into carefulness, vigorousness, guiltlessness, abstemiousness and cleanliness. And cleanliness is next to godliness, which is next to holiness.
The origin of the saying, “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” has been explored extensively. Bartlett’s “Familiar Quotations” credits the phrase to Rev. John Wesley; however, since this notable Methodist minister quotes it from another source in his sermons, it's been suggested that further investigation is needed. Rev. Dr. A. S. Bettelheimer from Richmond, Va., claims he has found this saying in a summary of religious principles in an old commentary on the Book of Isaiah. Therefore, the practical teachings of religion come down to being careful, vigorous, innocent, moderate, and clean. And cleanliness is next to godliness, which is close to holiness.
He’s a brick.
An Eastern prince visited the ruler of a neighboring country, and after viewing various objects worthy of attention, asked to see the fortifications. He was shown the troops with this remark—“These are my fortifications; every man is a brick.”
An Eastern prince visited the leader of a nearby country, and after checking out various interesting things, asked to see the fortifications. He was shown the troops with this comment—“These are my fortifications; every man is a brick.”
When you are at Rome do as the Romans do.
This proverb has been traced to a saying of St. Ambrose. St. Augustine mentions in one of his letters (Ep. lxxxvj ad Casulan.) that when his mother was living with him at Milan, she was much scandalized because Saturday was kept there as a festival; whilst at Rome, where she had resided a long time, it was kept as a fast. To ease her mind he consulted the bishop on this question, who told him he could give him no better advice in the case than to do as he himself did. “For when I go to Rome,” said Ambrose, “I fast on the Saturday, as they do at Rome; when I am here, I do not fast.” With this answer, he says that “he satisfied his mother, and ever after looked upon it as an oracle sent from heaven.”
This proverb can be traced back to a saying from St. Ambrose. St. Augustine mentions in one of his letters (Ep. lxxxvj Ad Casulan.) that when his mother was living with him in Milan, she was very upset because Saturday was celebrated there as a festival, while in Rome, where she had lived for a long time, it was observed as a fast. To ease her concerns, he asked the bishop about this issue, and the bishop advised him to do what he himself did. “When I go to Rome,” said Ambrose, “I fast on Saturday, just like they do in Rome; when I am here, I don’t fast.” With this response, he said that “he satisfied his mother and always considered it to be a divine message.”
A Nation of Shopkeepers.
To found a great empire for the sole purpose of raising up a people of customers may at first sight appear a project fit only for a nation of shopkeepers.—Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations.
To create a massive empire solely to develop a community of customers might initially seem like a plan only suited for a nation of shopkeepers.—Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations.
On May 31, 1817, Napoleon is reported to have said to Barry O’Meara,—
On May 31, 1817, Napoleon is reported to have said to Barry O’Meara,—
You were greatly offended with me for having called you a nation of shopkeepers. Had I meant by this that you were a nation of cowards, you would have had reason to be displeased.... I meant that you were a nation of merchants, and that all your great riches arose from commerce.... Moreover, no man of sense ought to be ashamed of being called a shopkeeper.—Voice from St. Helena.
You were really upset with me for calling you a nation of shopkeepers. If I had meant to say you were a nation of cowards, you would have been right to be angry... I meant to say you were a nation of merchants, and that all your wealth came from trade... Besides, no sensible person should feel ashamed of being called a shopkeeper.—Voice from St. Helena.
Only a pauper.
The lines—
The lyrics—
are from the Pauper’s Drive, by Thomas Noel.
are from the Pauper’s Drive, by Thomas Noel.
Taking time by the forelock.
Spenser says, Sonnet lxx.:—
Spenser says, Sonnet 70:—
What will Mrs. Grundy say?
In Morton’s clever comedy, Speed the Plough, the first scene of the first act opens with a view of a farm-house, where Farmer Ashfield is discovered at a table with his jug and pipe, holding the following colloquy with his wife, Dame Ashfield, who figures in a riding-dress, with a basket under her arm:—
In Morton's clever comedy, Speed the Plough, the first scene of the first act opens with a view of a farmhouse, where Farmer Ashfield is seen sitting at a table with his jug and pipe, having the following conversation with his wife, Dame Ashfield, who is dressed in a riding outfit and has a basket under her arm:—
Ashfield—Well, Dame, welcome whoam. What news does thee bring vrom market?
Ashfield—Well, lady, welcome home. What news do you bring from the market?
Dame.—What news husband? What I always told you; that Farmer Grundy’s wheat brought five shillings a quarter more than ours did.
Dame.—What’s the news, dear? Just what I’ve always said; Farmer Grundy’s wheat sold for five shillings a quarter more than ours.
Ash.—All the better vor he.
Ash.—All the better for him.
Dame.—Ah! the sun seems to shine on purpose for him.
Dame.—Ah! The sun looks like it's shining just for him.
Ash.—Come, come, missus, as thee has not the grace to thank God for prosperous times, dan’t thee grumble when they be unkindly a bit.
Ash.—Come on, missus, since you haven’t got the grace to thank God for the good times, don’t complain when things get a little rough.
Dame.—And I assure you Dame Grundy’s butter was quite the crack of the market.
Dame.—And I promise you, Dame Grundy’s butter was definitely the best deal in the market.
Ash.—Be quiet woolye? always ding, dinging Dame Grundy into my ears—What will Mrs. Grundy zay? What will Mrs. Grundy think? Canst thee be quiet, let ur alone, and behave thyself pratty.
Ash.—Can you be quiet, woolly? Always ringing in my ears with that "Dame Grundy" stuff—What will Mrs. Grundy say? What will Mrs. Grundy think? Can you just be quiet, leave us alone, and act nicely?
Though lost to sight, to memory dear.
This oft-quoted line is traced by a modern wag, of an inventive turn, to Ruthven Jenkyns, who wrote the following verses, published in the Greenwich Magazine for Marines, in 1701:—
This frequently quoted line is attributed by a clever modern thinker to Ruthven Jenkyns, who wrote the following verses published in the Greenwich Magazine for Marines, in 1701:—
Too low they build who build beneath the stars.
Builders who adopt this motto are indebted for it to Young, The Complaint, viii. 215.
Builders who embrace this motto owe it to Young, The Complaint, viii. 215.
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Dr. Johnson, according to Boswell, is credited with this phrase.
Dr. Johnson, as noted by Boswell, is known for this phrase.
So much the worse for the facts.
M. Royer Collard disapproved of the opinions of the Fathers of Port Royal on the doctrine of grace: “Ils ont les textes pour eux, disait il, j’en suis faché pour les textes.” So much the worse for the texts,—a very different and much more reasonable saying than the paradoxical expression commonly ascribed to Voltaire.
M. Royer Collard disagreed with the views of the Fathers of Port Royal on the doctrine of grace: “"They have the texts on their side," he said, "I'm sorry for the texts."” Too bad for the texts—this is a much different and more sensible statement than the paradoxical remark usually credited to Voltaire.
Conspicuous by its absence.
Earl Russell, in an address to the electors of the city of London, alluding to Lord Derby’s Reform Bill, which had just been defeated, said:—
Earl Russell, in a speech to the voters of the city of London, referencing Lord Derby’s Reform Bill, which had just been rejected, said:—
Among the defects of the Bill, which were numerous, one provision was conspicuous by its presence, and one by its absence.
Among the many flaws in the Bill, one provision stood out for being included, and another for being left out.
In the course of a speech subsequently delivered at a meeting of Liberal electors at the London Tavern, he justified his use of these words thus:—
In a speech later given at a meeting of Liberal voters at the London Tavern, he explained his use of these words like this:—
It has been thought that by a misnomer or a bull on my part I alluded to it as “a provision conspicuous by its absence,” a turn of phraseology which is not an original expression of mine, but is taken from one of the greatest historians of antiquity.
It was thought that due to a mistake or misunderstanding on my part, I referred to it as “a provision conspicuous by its absence,” a phrase that isn’t originally mine but is borrowed from one of the greatest historians of ancient times.
The historian referred to is Tacitus, who, (Annals, iii. 761) speaking of the images carried in procession at the funeral of Junia, says: Sed præfulgebant Cassius atque Brutus eo ipso quod effigies eorum non videbantur. Russell’s adaptation recalls the “brilliant flashes of silence” which Sydney Smith attributed to Macaulay. Since the Jesuits succeeded in causing the lives of Arnauld and Pascal to be excluded from L’Histoire des Hommes Illustres, by Perrault, the epigrammatic expression Briller par son absence has been popular among the French.
The historian being referred to is Tacitus, who, (Annals, iii. 761) speaking about the images displayed in the procession at Junia's funeral, says: However, Cassius and Brutus stood out even more because their effigies were not visible.. Russell’s adaptation reminds us of the “brilliant flashes of silence” that Sydney Smith attributed to Macaulay. Since the Jesuits managed to get the lives of Arnauld and Pascal excluded from The History of Notable Men by Perrault, the pithy expression Shines through his absence has gained popularity in France.
Do as I say, not as I do.
This proverbial expression was in common use among the Italian monks in the Middle Ages. It occurs in the Decameron of Boccacio thus: “Ils croient avoir bien répondu et être absous de tout crime quand ils ont dit, Faites ce que nous disons et ne faites pas ce que nous faisons.” The germ of the words thus put into the mouths of the friars of his day, Boccacio no doubt found in the language of our Saviour recorded in Matthew xxiii. 2, 3:—“The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat; all therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say and do not.”
This saying was commonly used by Italian monks during the Middle Ages. It appears in the The Decameron by Boccaccio: “They believe they've answered well and are free from all sin when they say, Do what we say and don’t do what we do.” Boccaccio likely derived this idea from the words of our Savior recorded in Matthew 23:2-3: “The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses' seat; therefore, whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do; but do not follow their works: for they say and do not.”
Mr. Longfellow, in his New England Tragedies, puts into the mouth of Captain Kempthorne, back in the times of Quaker persecution, a now familiar phrase. He speaks of
Mr. Longfellow, in his New England Tragedies, has Captain Kempthorne say a now-familiar phrase during the era of Quaker persecution. He talks about
Aubrey in his Letters, speaking of the handwriting of the poet Waller, says:—“He writes a lamentable hand, as bad as the scratching of a hen.” Probably suggested by the “gallina scripsit” of Plautus.
Aubrey in his Letters, talking about the handwriting of the poet Waller, says:—“He has terrible handwriting, as bad as the scratching of a hen.” This was probably inspired by the “she wrote” from Plautus.
The phrase masterly inactivity, first used by Sir James Mackintosh in his Vindiciæ Gallicæ, finds a prototype in the Horatian expression, “strenua nos exercet inertia,” (Epist. lib. I., xi. 28,) and in the words of Isaiah, “their strength is to sit still” (xxx. 7).
The term masterly inactivity, first introduced by Sir James Mackintosh in his Vindication of the French, has its roots in the Horatian phrase, “Strenuous effort keeps us lazy,” (Epist. lib. I., xi. 28,) and in the Bible where it says, “their strength is to sit still” (xxx. 7).
From Don Quixote we have Honesty is the best policy. From Gil Blas, (Smollet’s trans.,) comes Facts are stubborn things. From Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy, (P. iii. Sec. 3, Mem. i. Subs. 2,) Comparisons are odious. From Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, Dark as pitch, and Every tub must stand on its own bottom. From Shakspeare, Fast and loose (Love’s Labor Lost, iii. 1.); Main chance (2 Henry IV. iii. 1); Let the world slide (Taming of the Shrew, Induc. i.). From Burns, (Epistle from Esopus to Maria,) Durance vile.
From Don Quixote we have Honesty is the best policy. From Gil Blas (Smollet’s trans.) comes Facts are stubborn things. From Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy (P. iii. Sec. 3, Mem. i. Subs. 2) Comparisons are odious. From Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, Dark as pitch, and Every tub must stand on its own bottom. From Shakespeare, Fast and loose (Love’s Labor Lost, iii. 1.); Main chance (2 Henry IV. iii. 1); Let the world slide (Taming of the Shrew, Induc. i.). From Burns (Epistle from Esopus to Maria), Cruel confinement.
Originally written,—
Originally written—
And
And
Originally written,—
Originally written,—
Let who may make the laws of a people, allow me to write their ballads, and I’ll guide them at my will.—Sir Philip Sidney.
Let whoever makes the laws of a society, let me write their songs, and I’ll lead them as I wish.—Sir Philip Sidney.
Originally,
Originally,
Originally,
Original version,
As clear as a whistle.—Byrom: The Astrologer.
As clear as a whistle.—Byrom: The Astrologer.
The cups that cheer but not inebriate.—Cowper: Task.
The cups that bring joy but don’t get you drunk.—Cowper: Task.
Not much the worse for wear.—Ibid.
Not significantly worse off.
Masterly inactivity.—Mackintosh: 1791.
Masterful inaction.—Mackintosh: 1791.
The Almighty Dollar.—Washington Irving: Creole Village.
The Almighty Dollar.—Washington Irving: Creole Village.
Entangling alliances.—George Washington.
Entangled alliances.—George Washington.
Where liberty dwells, there is my country.—Benjamin Franklin.
Where freedom exists, that is my home.—Ben Franklin.
The post of honor is the private station.—Thos. Jefferson.
The highest honor is being a private citizen. —Thomas Jefferson.
Straws show which way the wind blows.—James Cheatham.
Straws indicate the direction of the wind.—James Cheatham.
A good time coming.—Walter Scott: Rob Roy.
A good time coming.—Walter Scott: Rob Roy.
Face the music.—J. Fenimore Cooper.
Face the consequences.—J. Fenimore Cooper.
Churchyard Literature.
Here lies the sacred memory.
A hieroglyph formed by the two first letters of the Greek word Christos, intersecting the Chi longitudinally by the Rho,—a palm-leaf, or a wreath of palm-leaves, indicating victory,—a crown, which speaks of the reward of the saints,—an immortelle, or a vessel supporting a column of flame, indicating continued life,—an anchor, which indicates hope,—a ship under sail, which says, “Heavenward bound,”—the letters Alpha and Omega, the Apocalyptic title of Christ,—the dove, the emblem of innocence and holiness,—the winged insect escaping from the chrysalis, typical of the resurrection,—the cross, the Christian’s true and only glory in life and death, by which he is crucified to the world, and the world to him,—these are the emblems that speak to the Christian’s heart of faith, and hope, and love, and humility.
A symbol made up of the first two letters of the Greek word Christ, with the Chi crossing the Rho vertically—followed by a palm leaf or a wreath of palm leaves, which represents victory—along with a crown that signifies the rewards of the saints—an immortal, or a container holding a column of flame, symbolizing everlasting life—an anchor, which stands for hope— a ship with its sails up, signaling “Heavenward bound”—the letters Alpha and Omega, representing the Apocalyptic title of Christ—the dove, a symbol of innocence and holiness—the winged creature emerging from the cocoon, representing resurrection—the cross, the true and only glory of the Christian in life and death, by which he is crucified to the world, and the world to him—these are the symbols that resonate with the Christian’s heart of faith, hope, love, and humility.
EPITAPHS OF EMINENT MEN.
Christopher Columbus died at Valladolid, May 20, 1506, æt. 70. In 1513 his body was taken to Seville, on the Guadalquivir, and there deposited in the family vault of the Dukes of Alcala, in the Cathedral. Upon a tablet was inscribed, in Castilian, this meagre couplet, which is still legible:—
Chris Columbus died in Valladolid on May 20, 1506, at the age of 70. In 1513, his body was taken to Seville, on the Guadalquivir River, and placed in the family vault of the Dukes of Alcala, in the Cathedral. A tablet bears this brief couplet, written in Castilian, which is still readable:—
In 1536, the remains of the great navigator were conveyed to St. Domingo and deposited in the Cathedral, where they continued until a recent period, when they were finally disinterred, and removed to Havana. The inscription on the tablet in the Cathedral of St. Domingo, now obliterated, was as follows:—
In 1536, the remains of the great navigator were taken to St. Domingo and placed in the Cathedral, where they stayed until recently, when they were finally exhumed and moved to Havana. The inscription on the tablet in the Cathedral of St. Domingo, now erased, said the following:—
William Shakspeare died April 23, 1616, æt. 52, and was buried in the chancel of the church of Stratford. The monument erected to his memory represents the poet with a thoughtful countenance, resting on a cushion and in the act of writing. Immediately below the cushion is the following distich:—
Will Shakespeare died on April 23, 1616, at the age of 52, and was buried in the chancel of the church in Stratford. The monument created in his honor shows the poet with a thoughtful expression, resting on a cushion and in the act of writing. Right below the cushion is the following couplet:—
On a tablet underneath are inscribed these lines:—
On a tablet below, these lines are written:—
and on the flat stone covering the grave is inscribed, in very irregular characters, the following quaint supplication, blessing, and menace:—
and on the flat stone covering the grave is inscribed, in very irregular characters, the following unusual request, blessing, and threat:—
Y spares T-hs stones,
Y moves my bones.
SIR ISAAC NEWTON, DIED. 1727, ÆT. 85.
Here lies interred Isaac Newton, knight, who, with an energy of mind almost divine, guided by the light of mathematics purely his own, first demonstrated the motions and figures of the planets, the paths of comets, and the causes of the tides; who discovered, what before his time no one had ever suspected, that the rays of light are differently refrangible, and that this is the cause of colors; and who was a diligent, penetrating, and faithful interpreter of nature, antiquity, and the sacred writings. In his philosophy, he maintained the majesty of the Supreme Being; in his manners, he expressed the simplicity of the Gospel. Let mortals congratulate themselves that the world has seen so great and excellent a man, the glory of human nature.
Here lies the grave of Isaac Newton, knight, who, with a nearly divine energy of mind, guided by his own unique understanding of mathematics, was the first to demonstrate the movements and shapes of the planets, the paths of comets, and the reasons for the tides; who discovered what no one had suspected before him — that the rays of light bend differently, and that this is what creates colors; and who was a diligent, insightful, and trustworthy interpreter of nature, history, and sacred texts. In his philosophy, he upheld the majesty of the Supreme Being; in his demeanor, he embodied the simplicity of the Gospel. Let humanity celebrate the fact that the world has known such a great and remarkable man, the glory of human nature.
Pope’s inscription is as follows:—
Pope's inscription is the following:—
JOHNSON’S EPITAPH ON GOLDSMITH.[26]
COWPER’S EPITAPH ON DR. JOHNSON.
GEORGE WASHINGTON, Died December 14, 1799, aged 67.
When, in 1838, the remains of Washington were removed from the old vault into the new, at Mount Vernon, the coffin was placed in a beautiful sarcophagus of white marble, from a quarry in Chester county, Pennsylvania, and prepared in Philadelphia by the gentleman who presented it. The lid is wrought with the arms of the country and the inscription here appended. Independently of other considerations, it is desirable, for the honor of the nation so largely indebted to Washington, that his grave should be something more than an advertising medium for a marble-mason. But the faithful chronicler must take things as he finds them, not always as they should be:—
When, in 1838, Washington's remains were moved from the old vault to the new one at Mount Vernon, the coffin was placed in a stunning white marble sarcophagus from a quarry in Chester County, Pennsylvania, crafted in Philadelphia by the gentleman who donated it. The lid features the country's emblem and the inscription below. Besides other factors, it’s important, for the honor of the nation significantly indebted to Washington, that his grave should be more than just an advertisement for a stonecutter. However, the dedicated historian must report things as they are, not always as they ought to be:—
The stone and the inscription over the grave of Franklin and his wife, at the corner of Fifth and Arch Streets, Philadelphia, and recently opened to public view by substituting for the old brick wall a neat iron railing, are according to his own direction in his will. The exceeding plainness of both are strikingly characteristic of the man. The stone is a simple marble slab, six feet by four, lying horizontally, and raised about a foot above the ground. It bears the following:—
The stone and the inscription over the grave of Franklin and his wife, located at the corner of Fifth and Arch Streets in Philadelphia, have recently been made accessible to the public by replacing the old brick wall with a neat iron railing, according to his wishes stated in his will. The stark simplicity of both is a striking reflection of the man. The stone is a plain marble slab, six feet by four, positioned horizontally and elevated about a foot above the ground. It features the following:—
Benjamin | } |
AND | } Franklin. |
Debbie | } |
1790. |
The following is a copy of the epitaph written by Franklin upon himself, at the age of twenty-three, while a journeyman printer:—
The following is a copy of the epitaph written by Franklin for himself at the age of twenty-three, while he was working as a journeyman printer:—
That this well-known typographical inscription was plagiarized from Mather’s Magnalia Christi Americana, is evident from Franklin’s own admission of his familiarity with the works of “the great Cotton.” To the perusal in early life of Mather’s excellent volume, Essays to do Good, published in 1710, Franklin ascribed all his “usefulness in the world.” The lines alluded to in the famous Ecclesiastical History are by Benjamin Woodbridge, a member of the first graduating class of Harvard University, 1642:—
That this well-known typographical inscription was copied from Mather’s American Christian Wonders is clear from Franklin’s own acknowledgment of his familiarity with the works of “the great Cotton.” He credited his “usefulness in the world” to reading Mather’s excellent book, Essays to do Good, published in 1710, in his early life. The lines referenced in the famous Ecclesiastical History are by Benjamin Woodbridge, a member of the first graduating class of Harvard University, 1642:—
Old Joseph Capen, minister of Topsfield, had also, in 1681, given John Foster, who set up the first printing-press in Boston, the benefit of the idea, in memoriam:—
Old Joseph Capen, minister of Topsfield, had also, in 1681, given John Foster, who established the first printing press in Boston, the benefit of the idea, in memoriam:—
Davis, in his Travels in America, finds another source in a Latin epitaph on the London bookseller Jacob Tonson, published with an English translation in the Gentleman’s Magazine for Feb., 1736. This is its conclusion:—
Davis, in his Travels in America, discovers another source in a Latin inscription on the London bookseller Jacob Tonson, published with an English translation in the Gentleman’s Magazine for February 1736. Here’s the conclusion:—
WILLIAM HOGARTH.
Garrick’s epitaph on Hogarth at Chiswick is well known. That written by Dr. Johnson is shorter and superior:—
Garrick’s epitaph on Hogarth at Chiswick is well known. Dr. Johnson's version is shorter and better:—
LORD BROUGHAM’S EPITAPH ON WATT, WESTMINSTER ABBEY.
EULOGISTIC, APT, APPROPRIATE.
BEN JONSON’S ON THE COUNTESS OF PEMBROKE.
ON ANOTHER LADY FRIEND.
ANDREW JACKSON’S EPITAPH ON HIS WIFE.
Here lie the remains of Mrs. Rachel Jackson, wife of President Jackson, who died December 22d, 1828, aged 61. Her face was fair, her person 571pleasing, her temper amiable, and her heart kind. She delighted in relieving the wants of her fellow-creatures, and cultivated that divine pleasure by the most liberal and unpretending methods. To the poor she was a benefactress; to the rich she was an example; to the wretched a comforter; to the prosperous an ornament. Her pity went hand in hand with her benevolence; and she thanked her Creator for being permitted to do good. A being so gentle and yet so virtuous, slander might wound, but could not dishonor. Even death, when he tore her from the arms of her husband, could but transplant her to the bosom of her God.
Here lie the remains of Rachel Jackson, wife of President Jackson, who passed away on December 22, 1828, at the age of 61. She had a fair face, a pleasing figure, a friendly temperament, and a kind heart. She found joy in helping those in need and nurtured that divine pleasure through generous and humble means. To the poor, she was a benefactor; to the wealthy, she was a role model; to the miserable, she was a source of comfort; and to the successful, she was an inspiration. Her compassion went hand in hand with her generosity, and she expressed gratitude to her Creator for the opportunity to do good. A person so gentle and virtuous could be hurt by slander, but could never be dishonored. Even death, when it separated her from her husband, could only move her to the embrace of her God.
BISHOP LOWTH’S EPITAPH ON HIS DAUGHTER.
IN THE CHURCHYARD OF OLD ST. PANCRAS.
MALHERBE’S EPITAPH ON A YOUNG LADY.
IN ST. MARY’S CHURCH, NOTTINGHAM.
In the church of Ightham, near Sevenoaks, Kent, is a mural monument with the bust of a lady, who was famous for her needle-work and was traditionally reported to have written the letter to Lord Monteagle which resulted in the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot. The following is the inscription:—
In the church of Ightham, near Sevenoaks, Kent, there’s a mural monument featuring a bust of a lady known for her needlework. She is traditionally said to have written the letter to Lord Monteagle that led to the uncovering of the Gunpowder Plot. Here is the inscription:—
AT WESTFIELD, N. J.
AT QUINCY, MASS.
IN CRANSTON, R.I.
ON THE TOMB OF MRS. DUNBAR, TRENTON, N.J.
POPE’S EPITAPH ON HARCOURT.
The idea in the last line appears to be derived from an epitaph on an excellent wife, in the Roman catacombs:—
The idea in the last line seems to come from an epitaph for a remarkable wife found in the Roman catacombs:—
ON A SPANISH GIRL WHO DIED BROKEN-HEARTED.
One of the simplest, truest, and most dignified epitaphs ever written may be found in the Spectator, No. 518:—
One of the simplest, truest, and most dignified epitaphs ever written can be found in the Spectator, No. 518:—
AT BARNSTABLE, MASS.
A similar epitaph may be found in Torrington churchyard, Devon:—
A similar epitaph can be found in Torrington churchyard, Devon:—
Which provoked the following reply:—
Which led to this response:—
AT GRIMSTEAD, ESSEX.
AT BATON ROUGE, LA.
Here lies the body of David Jones. His last words were, “I die a Christian and a Democrat.”
Here rests the body of David Jones. His final words were, “I die a Christian and a Democrat.”
AT ELIZABETH CITY, N. J.
ON SIR THOMAS VERE.
BEN JONSON’S EPITAPH ON MICHAEL DRAYTON.
The epigrammatic turn in the concluding stanza was evidently plagiarized from Ion’s inscription upon the tomb of Euripides, which is thus faithfully translated:—
The clever twist in the last stanza was clearly copied from Ion’s inscription on Euripides' tomb, which is accurately translated as:—
IN TICHFIELD CHURCH, HANTS.
ON INFANTS AND CHILDREN.
The following epitaph on an infant is by Samuel Wesley, the author of the caustic lines on the custom of perpetuating lies on monumental marble, by commemorating virtues which never had an existence,—ending thus:—
The following epitaph on an infant is by Samuel Wesley, the author of the sharp lines on the practice of continuing falsehoods on gravestones, by celebrating virtues that never existed,—ending like this:—
ON AN INFANT.
ON FOUR INFANTS BURIED IN THE SAME TOMB.
IN MOUNT AUBURN CEMETERY.
On the base of a beautiful recumbent statuette in Yarrow Path is inscribed:—
On the base of a beautiful reclining statuette in Yarrow Path, it says:—
ON A LITTLE BOY IN GREENWOOD CEMETERY.
ON THE TOMBSTONE OF A CHILD BLIND FROM BIRTH.
ON A CHILD FOUR YEARS OLD, WHO WAS BURNED TO DEATH.
AT LITIZ, LANCASTER COUNTY, PA.
Uhland’s beautiful epitaph on an infant[28] has been thus paraphrased:—
Uhland’s beautiful epitaph on an infant[28] has been paraphrased as follows:—
Better than this in spirit, by all that makes Christian faith and hope better than vague questioning, and fully equal to it in poetic merit, is the following by F. T. Palgrave:—
Better than this in spirit, by all that makes Christian faith and hope superior to vague questioning, and fully equal to it in poetic merit, is the following by F. T. Palgrave:—
COPIED FROM VARIOUS SOURCES.
This by Burton, author of The Anatomy of Melancholy:—
This by Burton, author of The Anatomy of Melancholy:—
ON A TOMBSTONE IN AUVERGNE.
HISTORICAL EPITAPH.
A person of the name of Mary Scott was buried near the church of Dalkeith, in 1728, for whom the following singular epitaph was composed, but never engraved on her tombstone, though it has been frequently mentioned as copied from it:—
A person named Mary Scott was buried near the church of Dalkeith in 1728. A unique epitaph was written for her, but it was never carved into her tombstone, even though it's often referenced as if it were taken from it:—
BIOGRAPHICAL.
ON THE MONUMENT OF A DROPSICAL LADY.
AT THE OLD MEN’S HOSPITAL, NORWICH, ENG.
In Memory of Mrs. Phebe Crewe, who died May 28, 1817, aged 77 years; who, during forty years’ practice as a midwife in this city, brought into the world nine thousand seven hundred and thirty children.
In Memory of Mrs. Phebe Crewe, who passed away on May 28, 1817, at the age of 77; who, during her forty years as a midwife in this city, delivered nine thousand seven hundred and thirty babies.
IN THE ABBEY CHURCH OF CONWAY.
Here lyeth the body of Nichlas Hooker, who was the one and fortieth child of his father by Alice his only wife, and the father of seven and twenty children by one wife. He died March 20th, 1637.
Here lies the body of Nicholas Hooker, who was the forty-first child of his father by Alice, his only wife, and the father of twenty-seven children by one wife. He died on March 20, 1637.
AT WOLSTANTON.
IN THE CHURCHYARD OF HEYDON.
Here lieth the body of William Strutton, of Paddington, buried May 18th, 1734, who had by his first wife, 28 children, and by a second wife, 17; own father to 45, grandfather to 86, great-grandfather to 97, and great-great-grandfather to 23; in all, 251.
Here lies the body of William Strutton, from Paddington, buried May 18th, 1734, who had 28 children with his first wife and 17 with his second; he was the father of 45, grandfather of 86, great-grandfather of 97, and great-great-grandfather of 23; in total, 251.
IN THE CHURCHYARD OF PEWSEY, WILTSHIRE.
Here lies the body of Lady O’Looney, great-niece of Burke, commonly called the sublime. She was bland, passionate, and deeply religious; also, she painted in water-colors, and sent several pictures to the exhibition. She was first cousin to Lady Jones; and of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Here lies the body of Lady O’Looney, great-niece of Burke, known as the sublime. She was kind, passionate, and deeply spiritual; she also painted in watercolors and submitted several pieces to the exhibition. She was a first cousin to Lady Jones; and of such is the kingdom of heaven.
IN CRAYFORD CHURCHYARD, KENT.
Here lieth the body of Peter Snell, thirty-five years clerk of the parish. He lived respected as a pious and faithful man, and died on his way to church to assist at a wedding, on the 31st day of March, 1811. Aged 70 years. The inhabitants of Crayford have raised this stone to his cheerful memory, and as a tribute to his long and faithful services.
Here lies the body of Peter Snell, who served as the parish clerk for thirty-five years. He lived a respected life as a devout and loyal man, and passed away on his way to church to help with a wedding, on March 31, 1811. He was 70 years old. The residents of Crayford have erected this stone in his joyful memory and as a tribute to his long and dedicated service.
AT WREXHAM, WALES.
SELF-WRITTEN.
MATTHEW PRIOR’S.
It is said (and the statement appears highly probable) that Prior borrowed his lines from the following very ancient epitaph upon a tombstone in Scotland:—
It is said (and this seems very likely) that Prior took his lines from the following very old epitaph on a tombstone in Scotland:—
COLERIDGE’S.
JOHN BACON’S, TOTTENHAM COURT CHAPEL.
DR. COOPER’S, EDINBURGH.
POPE ADRIAN’S.
SHEIL’S, (THE IRISH ORATOR).
The eccentric Sternhold Oakes offered a reward for the best epitaph for his grave. Several tried for the prize, but they flattered him too much, he thought. At last he undertook it himself; and the following was the result:—
The quirky Sternhold Oakes put out a prize for the best epitaph for his tombstone. Many people entered, but he felt they were too complimentary. Finally, he decided to write it himself, and here’s what he came up with:—
That was satisfactory, and the old gentleman claimed the prize, which, as he had the paying of it, was of course allowed.
That was acceptable, and the old man claimed the prize, which, since he was the one paying for it, was obviously permitted.
MORALIZING AND ADMONITORY.
AT KENNEBUNK, MAINE.
AT ANDOVER, MASS.
IN LLANGOWEN CHURCHYARD, WALES.
IN ST. SAVIOUR’S CHURCHYARD, SOUTHWARK.
IN GILLINGHAM CHURCHYARD, ENG.
GARRICK’S EPITAPH ON QUINN, ABBEY CHURCH, BATH.
IN NEWINGTON CHURCHYARD.
IN LINCOLNSHIRE, ENGLAND.
ADVERTISING INSCRIPTIONS AND NOTICES.
IN WILTSHIRE, ENGLAND.
In the cemetery of Montmartre, a memorial to a Parisian tradesman, killed in an émeute in the earlier part of the reign of Louis Phillippe, concludes with this advertisement:—
In the Montmartre cemetery, there’s a memorial for a Parisian tradesman who was killed in a riot during the early years of Louis Philippe’s reign, and it ends with this ad:—
This tomb was executed by his bereaved widow (veuve désolée,) who still carries on his business at No. — Rue St. Martin.
This tomb was created by his grieving widow (widow sorry), who still runs his business at No. — Rue St. Martin.
This announcement is from a Spanish journal:—
This announcement is from a Spanish journal:—
This morning our Saviour summoned away the jeweller Siebald Illmaga from his shop to another and better world. The undersigned, his widow, will weep upon his tomb, as will also his two daughters, Hilda and Emma, the former of whom is married, and the latter is open to an offer. The funeral will take place to-morrow. His disconsolate widow, Veronique Illmaga. P. S.—This bereavement will not interrupt our business, which will be carried on as usual, only our place of business will be removed from No. 3, Tessi de Teinturiers, to No. 4 Rue de Missionaire, as our grasping landlord has raised our rent.
This morning, our Savior called the jeweler Siebald Illmaga from his shop to a better place. I, his widow, will grieve at his grave, along with his two daughters, Hilda and Emma; Hilda is married, and Emma is still available. The funeral will be held tomorrow. His heartbroken widow, Veronique Illmaga. P.S.—This loss won’t disrupt our business, which will continue as usual, but we will be moving from No. 3, Tessi de Teinturiers, to No. 4 Rue de Missionaire because our greedy landlord has increased our rent.
UNIQUE AND LUDICROUS EPITAPHS.
ON A CONNECTICUT MAN WITH A REMARKABLE TUMOR.
ON THE BELOVED PARTNER OF ROBERT KEMP.
ON A MISER.
Rest in peace.
ON MISS GWIN.
Whether this, from a village churchyard, is an improvement on Young, is a question:—
Whether this, from a village churchyard, is an improvement on Young is a question:—
EPITAPH FOR A GREAT TALKER.
IN OTSEGO COUNTY, N. Y.
(On this a commentator remarks, “Most men suffer enough above ground without being bunglingly abused, post mortem, in ill-written inscriptions which were at least intended to be civil. We suppose the words were simply intended to record the man’s name; but they look marvellously like a noun substantive coupled with a verb in the indicative mood, and affording a sad indication that John burns. There is no hint that John deserved the fate to which he appears to have been consigned since his decease, and we can only say as we read the startling declaration, we should be very sorry to believe it.”)
(On this, a commentator notes, “Most people suffer enough in life without being clumsily insulted, after death, by poorly written inscriptions that were at least meant to be polite. We assume the words were simply meant to record the man's name; but they seem oddly like a noun paired with a verb in the indicative mood, sadly suggesting that John burns. There’s no indication that John deserved the fate he seems to have suffered since his death, and we can only say that as we read this shocking statement, we would be very sorry to believe it.”)
In the church of Stoke Holy Cross, near Norwich, Eng., is the following epitaph:—
In the church of Stoke Holy Cross, near Norwich, England, is the following epitaph:—
IN A CHURCHYARD IN CORNWALL.
IN MORETON CHURCHYARD.
ON A WOOD-CUTTER, OCKHAM, SURREY, 1736.
A stone-cutter received the following epitaph from a German, to be cut upon the tombstone of his wife:—
A stonecutter was given this epitaph by a German, to be engraved on his wife's tombstone:—
Mine vife Susan is dead, if she had life till nex friday she’d bin dead shust two veeks. As a tree falls so must it stan, all tings is impossible mit God.
Mine wife Susan is dead; if she had lived until next Friday, she would have been dead just two weeks. As a tree falls, so must it stand; all things are possible with God.
IN CHILDWALL PARISH, ENGLAND.
AT OXFORD, NEW HAMPSHIRE.
A SOUTH CAROLINA TRIBUTE TO DEPARTED WORTH.
ON AN EAST TENNESSEE LADY.
She lived a life of virtue, and died of the cholera morbus, caused by eating green fruit, in hope of a blessed immortality, at the early age of 21 years, 7 months and 16 days! Reader, ‘Go thou and do likewise.’
She lived a virtuous life and died from cholera, brought on by eating unripe fruit, in hopes of a blessed immortality, at the young age of 21 years, 7 months, and 16 days! Reader, "You should follow her example."
FROM SOLYHULL CHURCHYARD, WARWICKSHIRE.
The following epitaph was written by a certain Rev. Dr. Greenwood on his wife, who died in childbirth. One hardly knows which to admire most,—the merit of the couplet wherein he celebrates her courage and magnanimity in preferring him to a lord or judge, or the sound advice with which he closes.
The following epitaph was written by Rev. Dr. Greenwood for his wife, who died in childbirth. It's hard to decide what to admire more—the couplet where he honors her bravery and generosity in choosing him over a lord or judge, or the wise advice he gives at the end.
Robert Baxter of Farhouse, who died in 1796, was believed to have been poisoned by a neighbor with whom he had a violent quarrel. Baxter was well known to be a man of voracious appetite; and it seems that one morning, on going out to the fell, he found a piece of bread and butter wrapped in white paper. This he incautiously devoured, and died a few hours after in great agony. The following is inscribed on his tombstone, Knaresdale, Northumberland:—
Robert Baxter of Farhouse, who passed away in 1796, was thought to have been poisoned by a neighbor he had a heated argument with. Baxter was known for having a huge appetite; and it appears that one morning, while heading out to the fell, he found a piece of bread and butter wrapped in white paper. He carelessly ate it and died a few hours later in severe pain. The following is inscribed on his tombstone in Knaresdale, Northumberland:—
IN DONCASTER CHURCHYARD, 1816.
AT SARAGOSSA, SPAIN.
Here lies John Quebecca, precentor to My Lord the King. When he is admitted to the choir of angels, whose society he will embellish, and where he will distinguish himself by his powers of song, God shall say to the angels, “Cease, ye calves! and let me hear John Quebecca, the precentor of My Lord the King!”
Here lies John Quebecca, choir leader to My Lord the King. When he joins the choir of angels, whose company he will enhance, and where he will stand out with his singing talent, God will say to the angels, “Stop, you calves! and let me hear John Quebecca, the choir leader of My Lord the King!”
ROCHESTER’S EPITAPH ON CHARLES II.
FROM A GRAVESTONE IN ESSEX, ENGLAND.
In All Saints’ Churchyard, Leicester, may be found the following on two children of John Bracebridge, who were both named John and both died in infancy:—
In All Saints’ Churchyard, Leicester, you can find the following about two children of John Bracebridge, who were both named John and both passed away in infancy:—
Bishop Thurlow, at one of his visitations, had the words by God altered to through God.
Bishop Thurlow, during one of his visits, changed the words by God to through God.
FROM THETFORD CHURCHYARD.
IN A CHURCHYARD IN ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND.
IN SWANSEA CHURCHYARD.
AT NORTHALLERTON.
ALL SAINTS, NEWCASTLE.
IN CALSTOCK CHURCHYARD, CORNWALL.
ON GENERAL WOLFE.
On the death of General Wolfe, a premium was offered for the best epitaph on that officer. One of the candidates for the prize sent a poem, of which the following stanza is a specimen:—
On the death of General Wolfe, a reward was offered for the best epitaph for that officer. One of the candidates for the prize submitted a poem, and here’s a sample stanza:—
Rebecca Rogers, Folkestone, 1688.
IN DORCHESTER, MASS.
1661.
IN KNIGHTSBRIDGE CHURCHYARD.
On a man who was too poor to be buried with relations in the church:—
On a man who couldn't afford to be buried with family in the church:—
IN BIDEFORD CHURCHYARD, KENT.
IN WHITTLEBURY CHURCHYARD, NORTHAMPTONSHIRE.
IN LONGNOR CHURCHYARD, STAFFORD.
IN ROCHESTER CHURCHYARD, ENG.
HUMPHREY COLE.
IN EAST HARTFORD, CONN.
ON A TOMBSTONE IN NEW JERSEY.
IN A NEW ENGLAND GRAVEYARD.
AT AUGUSTA, MAINE.
591The following illustrated epitaph is copied from a tombstone near Williamsport, Pa.
591The following illustrated epitaph is taken from a tombstone near Williamsport, PA.

In Dorchester, Mass. may be seen the following queer epitaph on a young woman:—
In Dorchester, Mass., you can see this unusual epitaph for a young woman:—
A Dutchman’s epitaph on his twin babes:—
A Dutchman’s epitaph for his twin babies:—
MORTUARY PUNS.
Peter Comestor, whom the following epitaph represents as speaking, was the author of a Commentary on the Scriptures. He died in 1198:—
Peter Comestor, who is portrayed as speaking in the following epitaph, was the author of a Commentary on the Scriptures. He died in 1198:—
592I who was once called Peter [a stone], am now covered by a stone [petra]; and I who was once named Comestor [devourer], am now devoured. I taught when alive, nor do I cease to teach, though dead; for he who beholds me reduced to ashes may say,—“This man was once what we are now; and what he is now, we soon shall be.”
592I, who was once called Peter [a stone], am now covered by a stone [Petra]; and I, who was once named Comestible [devourer], am now devoured. I taught when I was alive, and I still teach, even in death; for anyone who sees me turned to ashes might say, “This man was once what we are now; and what he is now, we will soon become.”
ON A YOUTH WHO DIED FOR LOVE OF MOLLY STONE.
Luttrell wrote the following on a man who was run over by an omnibus:—
Luttrell wrote the following about a man who was hit by a bus:—
WILLIAM MORE, STEPNEY CHURCHYARD.
On the tombstone of John Fell, superintendent of the turnpike-roads from Kirby Kendal to Kirby Irleth, are the following lines:—
On the tombstone of John Fell, the supervisor of the toll roads from Kirby Kendal to Kirby Irleth, are the following lines:—
IN SELBY CHURCHYARD, YORK.
ON DU BOIS, BORN IN A BAGGAGE-WAGON, AND KILLED IN A DUEL.
ON LILL.
On the tombstone of Dr. Walker, who wrote a work on “English Particles,” is inscribed,—
On Dr. Walker's tombstone, who wrote a book on "English Particles," it says,—
Dr. Fuller’s reads,—
Dr. Fuller’s writings,—
And Archbishop Potter’s,—
And Archbishop Potter’s,—
593Proposed by Jerrold for Charles Knight, the Shakspearian critic:—
593Proposed by Jerrold for Charles Knight, the Shakespearean critic:—
On a well-known Shakspearian actor:—
On a famous Shakespearean actor:—
On the tomb of an auctioneer at Greenwood:—
On the tomb of an auctioneer at Greenwood:—
Miss Long was a beautiful actress of the last century, so short in stature that she was called the Pocket Venus. Her epitaph concludes,—
Miss Long was a stunning actress from the last century, so petite that she was nicknamed the Pocket Venus. Her epitaph ends with,—
On the eminent barrister, Sir John Strange:—
On the prominent lawyer, Sir John Strange:—
On William Button, in a churchyard near Salisbury:—
On William Button, in a cemetery near Salisbury:—
On Foote, the comedian:—
On Foote, the comedian:—
In the chancel of the church of Barrow-on-Soar, Leicestershire, is the following on Theophilus Cave:—
In the chancel of the church of Barrow-on-Soar, Leicestershire, is the following about Theophilus Cave:—
The following, in Harrow Churchyard, is ascribed to Lord Byron:—
The following, in Harrow Churchyard, is attributed to Lord Byron:—
ON THOMAS GREENHILL, OXFORDSHIRE, 1624.
ON A CORONER WHO HANGED HIMSELF.
ON A CELEBRATED COOK.
ON MR. FISH.
ON TWO CHILDREN.
ON MISS NOTT.
ON MARY ANGEL, STEPNEY, 1693.
595Beloe, in his Anecdotes, gives the following on William Lawes, the musical composer, who was killed by the Roundheads:—
595Beloe, in his Anecdotes, shares the following about William Lawes, the musical composer, who was killed by the Roundheads:—
ON MR. JOSEPH KING.
On John Adams, of Southwell, a carrier, who died of drunkenness.—Byron.
ON A LINEN-DRAPER.
ON A WOMAN WHO HAD AN ISSUE IN HER LEG.
FROM LLANFLANTWYTHYL CHURCHYARD, WALES.
ON A LAST-MAKER.
FROM ST. ANNE’S CHURCHYARD, ISLE OF MAN.
In the Greek Anthology is a punning epitaph on a physician, by Empedocles, who lived in the fifth century before Christ. The pun consists in the derivation of the name Pausanias,—causing a cessation of pain or affliction,—and therefore only a portion of the double meaning can be preserved in a translation:—
In the Greek Anthology, there's a clever epitaph about a doctor by Empedocles, who lived in the fifth century BC. The pun comes from the origin of the name Pausanias—which means causing an end to pain or suffering—so only part of the double meaning can be kept in a translation:—
CURIOUS AND PUZZLING EPITAPHS.
On the monument of Sardanapalus was inscribed, in Assyrian characters,—
On the monument of Sardanapalus, it was inscribed in Assyrian characters—
meaning a snap of the fingers, which is represented by a hand engraved on the stone, with the thumb and middle finger meeting at the top. Casaubon translates παιζειν, to love (παιζειν nihil aliud significat nisi ερᾶν). Solomon said, all is vanity, but not till he had eaten, drunk, and loved to a surfeit; and Swift left the well-known lines,—
meaning a snap of the fingers, which is shown by a hand carved on the stone, with the thumb and middle finger meeting at the top. Casaubon translates play, to love (παίζω means nothing other than ερωτευμένος). Solomon said, all is vanity, but not until he had eaten, drunk, and loved to excess; and Swift left the famous lines,—
but this information was for the tomb, when the capacity to eat, drink, and love was gone.
but this information was for the tomb, when the ability to eat, drink, and love had disappeared.
At the entrance of the church of San Salvador, in the city of Oviedo, in Spain, is a remarkable tomb, erected by a prince named Silo, with a very curious Latin inscription, which may be read two hundred and seventy ways, by beginning with the capital S in the centre:—
At the entrance of the Church of San Salvador in Oviedo, Spain, there’s an impressive tomb built by a prince named Silo, featuring a unique Latin inscription that can be read in two hundred seventy different ways, starting with the capital S in the center:—
Silo made it.
On the tomb are inscribed these letters:—
On the tomb are inscribed these letters:—
Which are the initials of the following Latin words:—
Which are the initials of the following Latin words:—
FROM ST. AGNES’, LONDON.
The middle line furnishes the terminal letters or syllables of the words in the upper and lower lines, and when added they read thus:—
The middle line provides the ending letters or syllables of the words in the upper and lower lines, and when combined, they read as follows:—
FROM A CHURCHYARD IN GERMANY.
Taking the position of the words in the first line, which are placed above or over (super) those in the second, and noting the repetition of the syllables ra and ram thrice (ter), and the letter i twice (bis), the reading is easy.
Taking the position of the words in the first line, which are placed above or over (super) those in the second, and noting the repetition of the syllables ra and ram three times (ter), and the letter i twice (bis), the reading is easy.
O superbe quid superbis? tua superbia te superabit. Terra es et in terram ibis. Mox eris quod ego nunc.
Oh, how great you are? Your pride will overcome you. You are earth, and into the earth you will go. Soon you will be what I am now.
FROM CUNWALLOW CHURCHYARD, CORNWALL.
FROM LAVENHAM CHURCH, NORFOLK, ENG.
[What was existence, is that which lies here; that which was not existence, is that which is existence; to be what is now is not to be; that which is now, is not existence, but will be hereafter.]
[What is existence lies here; what is not existence is what is existence; to be what is now is not to be; what is now is not existence, but will be in the future.]
ON THE MONUMENT OF JOHN OF DONCASTER, 1579.
IN THE CHURCHYARD OF LLANGERRIG, MONTGOMERYSHIRE.
O | Earth | O | Earth | observe this well,— |
That | to | shall come to dwell; | ||
Then | in | shall close remain, | ||
Till | from | shall rise again. |
IN HADLEY CHURCHYARD, SUFFOLK.
The charnel mounted on the w | ALL. |
Sets to be seen in funer | |
A matron plain domestic | |
In care and pain continu | |
Not slow, not gay, not prodig | |
Yet neighborly and hospit | |
Her children seven, yet living | |
Her sixty-seventh year hence did c | |
To rest her body natur | |
In hopes to rise spiritu |
WRITTEN IN 1748.
IN ST. PAUL’S, DEPTFORD.
Rev. Dr. Conyers expired immediately after the delivery of a sermon from the text, “Ye shall see my face no more,” æt. 62, 1786.
Rev. Dr. Conyers passed away right after delivering a sermon based on the text, “You will see my face no more,” at the age of 62, in 1786.
Underneath is a Latin inscription, of which the following is a translation:—
Below is a Latin inscription, translated as follows:—
PARALLELS WITHOUT A PARALLEL.
AT WINCHESTER, ENG.
On the north side of this church is the monument of two brothers of the surname Clarke, wherewith I was so taken as take them I must; and as I found them I pray accept them.
On the north side of this church is the monument of two brothers with the last name Clarke, which I found so captivating that I had to take notice of them; and as I found them, I hope you will accept them.
Thus an union of two brothers from Avington, the Clarkes’ family, were grandfather, father, and son, successivelie clerkes of the Privy Seale in Court.
Thus a union of two brothers from Avington, the Clarkes' family, was grandfather, father, and son, successively clerkes of the Privy Seal in Court.
BATHOS.
HOWELL’S EPITAPH ON CHARLES I.
TRANSCENDENTAL.
FROM THE CHURCHYARD OF ST. EDMUND’S, SALISBURY.
CENTO.
AT NORTHBOROUGH, MASS.
On the tombstone of Rabbi Judah Monis, 40 years Hebrew Instructor in Harvard University, who was converted to Christianity in 1722, and died in 1764.
On the tombstone of Rabbi Judah Monis, Hebrew Instructor at Harvard University for 40 years, who converted to Christianity in 1722 and died in 1764.
A native branch of Jacob see, | |
Which once from off its olive broke; | |
Regrafted from the living tree, | Rom. xi. 17, 24. |
Of the reviving sap partook. | |
From teeming Zion’s fertile womb, | Isa. lxvi. 8. |
As dewy drops in early morn, | Ps. cx. 3. |
Or rising bodies from the tomb, | John v. 28, 29. |
At once be Israel’s nation born. | Isa. lxvi. 8. |
ACROSTICAL.
AT DORCHESTER, MASS.
IN ASH CHURCH, KENT.
ABORIGINAL.
IN THE MOHEAGAN BURIAL-GROUND, CONN.
ORONO, CHIEF OF THE PENOBSCOTS, OLDTOWN, MAINE, 1801, ÆT. 113
AFRICAN.
AT CONCORD, MASS.
God wills us free; man wills us slaves. I will as God wills: God’s will be done. Here lies the body of John Jack, a native of Africa, who died, March, 1773, aged about 60 years. Though born in a land of slavery, he was born free; though he lived in a land of liberty, he lived a slave, till, by his honest though stolen labors, he acquired the source of slavery, which gave him his freedom, though not long before death, the grand tyrant, gave him his final emancipation, and set him on a footing with kings. Though a slave to vice, he practised those virtues, without which, kings are but slaves.
God wants us to be free; people want us to be slaves. I will do as God wishes: may God’s will be done. Here lies the body of John Jack, a native of Africa, who passed away in March 1773, at around 60 years old. Though he was born in a place of slavery, he was born free; though he lived in a place of liberty, he lived as a slave until, through his honest but stolen work, he gained the source of slavery, which granted him his freedom, though it was only shortly before death, the ultimate tyrant, offered him his final release and placed him on equal ground with kings. Though he was a slave to vice, he practiced those virtues that, without them, kings are just slaves.
AT ATTLEBORO, MASS.
HIBERNIAN.
AT BELTURBET.
AT MONKNEWTON, NEAR DROGHEDA.
AT MONTROSE, 1757.
Here lyes the Bodeys of George Young and Isabel Guthrie, and all their Posterity for more than fifty years backwards.
Here lie the bodies of George Young and Isabel Guthrie, along with all their descendants for over fifty years back.
AT ST. ANDREW’S, PLYMOUTH.
Here lies the body of James Vernon, Esq., only surviving son of Admiral Vernon: died 23rd July 1753.
Here rests the body of James Vernon, Esq., the only surviving son of Admiral Vernon: died July 23, 1753.
AT LLANMYNECH, MONTGOMERYSHIRE.
IN OXFORDSHIRE.
GREEK EPITAPHS.
Christopher North, speaking of the celebrated epitaph written by Simonides and graved on the monument erected in commemoration of the battle of Thermopylæ, says:—The oldest and best inscription is that on the altar-tomb of the Three 604Hundred. Here it is,—the Greek,—with three Latin and eighteen English versions. Start not: it is but two lines; and all Greece, for centuries, had them by heart. She forgot them, and “Greece was living Greece no more!”
Christopher North notes the famous epitaph written by Simonides, which is engraved on the monument honoring the battle of Thermopylä. He says: The oldest and best inscription is on the altar-tomb of the Three Hundred. Here it is—the Greek version—along with three Latin and eighteen English translations. Don’t be alarmed; it’s just two lines, and all of Greece had them memorized for centuries. They forgot them, and “Greece was living Greece no more!”
Of the various English translations of this celebrated epitaph, the following are the best:—
Of the different English translations of this famous epitaph, the following are the best:—
ON MILTIADES.
ON THE TOMB OF THEMISTOCLES.
ON ÆSIGENES.
ON TIMOCRITUS.
ON THREE NEIGHBORING TOMBS.
HELIODORA.
FROM THE ALCESTIS OF EURIPIDES.
ON A YOUNG BRIDE.
ON A BACHELOR.
ANTITHESIS EXTRAORDINARY.
The following singular inscription may be seen on a monument in Horsley Down Church, Cumberland, England:—
The following unique inscription can be found on a monument in Horsley Down Church, Cumberland, England:—
THE PRINTER’S EPITAPH.
BREVITY.
608The epitaph on Dr. Caius, the founder of the college which bears his name, cannot be blamed for prolixity. Dr. Fuller remarks, “few men might have had a longer, none ever had a shorter epitaph.”
608The epitaph for Dr. Caius, the founder of the college named after him, is not overly wordy. Dr. Fuller notes, “few men might have had a longer, none ever had a shorter epitaph.”
ON MR. MAGINNIS.
Camden, in his Remaines,—a collection of fragments illustrative of the habits, manners and customs of the ancient Britons and Saxons,—gives examples of great men who had little epitaphs. For himself it has been suggested that the name of the work in question would be the most fitting:—
Camden, in his Remaines,—a collection of fragments showcasing the habits, manners, and customs of the ancient Britons and Saxons,—provides examples of notable figures who had brief epitaphs. It has been proposed that the name of the work in question would be the most appropriate:—
LAUDATORY.
Following the inscription to the memory of Albert, Prince Consort, on the Cairn at Balmoral, is the following quotation from the Wisdom of Solomon, iv. 13, 14.
Following the inscription in memory of Albert, Prince Consort, on the Cairn at Balmoral, is the following quote from the Wisdom of Solomon, iv. 13, 14.
EPITAPHIUM CHEMICUM.
1791.
MISCELLANEOUS.
ON SIR JOHN VANBRUGH, THE ARCHITECT.
THE ORATOR’S EPITAPH.
IN LYDFORD CHURCHYARD, NEAR DARTMOOR.
AT KITTERY, MAINE.
ON A SAN FRANCISCO MONEY-LENDER.
ON AN IMPORTUNATE TAILOR.
IN SOHAM CHURCHYARD, CAMBRIDGESHIRE.
IN THE CHURCH OF ST. GREGORY, SUDBURY.
(Traveller, I will relate a prodigy. On the day whereon the aforesaid Thos. Carter breathed out his soul, a Sudbury camel passed through the eye of a needle. Go, and if thou art wealthy, do thou likewise. Farewell.)
(Traveler, I will share an amazing story. On the day that Thos. Carter took his last breath, a Sudbury camel went through the eye of a needle. Go, and if you are wealthy, do the same. Goodbye.)
IN LLANBEBLIG, CARNARVONSHIRE.
ON AN INFIDEL.
PROPOSED BY A FRENCH THEOLOGIAN FOR VOLTAIRE.
Hume, the classic historian of England, denied the existence of matter, and held that the whole congeries of material things are but impressions and ideas in the mind, distinguishing an impression from an idea by its stronger effect on the thinking faculty. Dr. Beattie sufficiently exposed the absurdity; but his famous essay has nothing more pointed than the witty epitaph that somebody wrote on the marble shaft that stands over the infidel’s grave:—
Hume, the classic historian of England, denied that matter exists and argued that all material things are just impressions and ideas in our minds, distinguishing impressions from ideas by their stronger impact on our thinking. Dr. Beattie clearly pointed out the absurdity of this view; however, his well-known essay doesn't include anything sharper than the clever epitaph someone wrote on the marble tombstone over the infidel’s grave:—
ON TOM PAINE.
EARTH TO EARTH.
Few persons have met with the following poem, now nearly four centuries old; but many will recognise in some of the stanzas, particularly the first four and the last four, the source of familiar monumental inscriptions. The antiquary can refer to many a dilapidated stone on which these quaint old lines can yet be traced.
Few people have come across the following poem, which is now almost four centuries old; however, many will recognize some of the stanzas, especially the first four and the last four, as the inspiration for familiar monumental inscriptions. History enthusiasts can point to many worn stones where these charming old lines can still be seen.
BYRON’S INSCRIPTION ON THE MONUMENT OF HIS DOG.
Inscriptions.
TAVERN-SIGNS.
The absurdities which tavern-signs present are often curious enough, but may in general be traced to that inveterate propensity which the vulgar of all countries have, to make havoc with every thing in the shape of a proper name. What a magpie could have to do with a crown, or a whale with a crow, or a hen with a razor, it is as difficult to conjecture as to trace the corruption of language in which the connection more probably originated. The sign of the leg and the seven stars was merely an orthographical deviation from the league and seven stars, or seven united provinces; and the axe and bottle was, doubtless, a transposition of the battle-axe, a most appropriate sign for warlike times. The tun and lute formed suitable emblems enough of the pleasures of wine and music. The eagle and child, too, had meaning, though no application; but when we come to the shovel and boot, nonsense again triumphs, and it is in vain that we look for any rational explanation of the affinity.
The strange combinations found in tavern signs can be pretty interesting, but they mostly come from the common tendency across all cultures to mess up proper names. It's hard to figure out what a magpie has to do with a crown, or a whale with a crow, or a hen with a razor, just as it is to trace the breakdown of language that likely led to these odd connections. The sign of the leg and the seven stars was just a spelling mistake from the league and seven stars, or the seven united provinces; and the axe and bottle was probably a mix-up of the battle-axe, which was a fitting sign for war times. The tun and lute were definitely good representations of the joys of wine and music. The eagle and child also had significance, even if we can't apply it; but when we get to the shovel and boot, it’s just nonsense again, and there's no rational explanation for that connection.
The Swan-with-two-necks has long been an object of mystery to the curious. This mystery is solved by the alteration of a single letter. The sign, as it originally stood, was the swan with two nicks; the meaning of which we find thus explained in a communication made by the late Sir Joseph Banks to the 616Antiquarian Society. Sir Joseph presented to the Society a curious parchment roll, exhibiting the marks, or nicks, made on the beaks of swans and cygnets in all the rivers and lakes in Lincolnshire, accompanied with an account of the privileges of certain persons keeping swans in these waters, and the duties of the king’s swanherd in guarding these fowls from depredation and preventing any two persons from adopting the same figures or marks on the bills of their swans. The number of marks contained in the parchment roll amounted to two hundred and nineteen, all of which were different and confined to the small extent of the bill of the swan. The outlines were an oblong square, circular at one end, and containing dots, notches, arrows, or suchlike figures, to constitute the difference in each man’s swans. Laws were enacted so late as the 12th of Elizabeth, for the preservation of the swans in Lincolnshire.
The Swan-with-two-necks has always been a mystery to the curious. This mystery is cleared up by changing just one letter. The sign, as it was originally written, was the swan with two nicks; its meaning is explained in a message from the late Sir Joseph Banks to the 616Antiquarian Society. Sir Joseph shared with the Society an interesting parchment roll that showed the marks, or nicks, made on the beaks of swans and cygnets in all the rivers and lakes of Lincolnshire. This was accompanied by details about the privileges of certain people who kept swans in these waters and the responsibilities of the king’s swanherd in protecting these birds from harm and preventing any two people from using the same marks on their swans' bills. The parchment roll listed a total of two hundred nineteen unique marks, all different and limited to the small area of the swan's bill. The shapes included an oblong square, rounded on one end, and had dots, notches, arrows, or similar designs to distinguish each person's swans. Laws were made as recently as the 12th year of Elizabeth’s reign to protect the swans in Lincolnshire.
The goat and compasses has been supposed to have its origin in the resemblance between the bounding of a goat and the expansion of a pair of compasses; but nothing can be more fanciful. The sign is of the days of the Commonwealth, when it was fashionable to give scriptural names to every thing and everybody, and when God-be-praised Barebones preferred drinking his tankard of ale at the God-encompasseth-us to anywhere else. The corruption from God-encompasseth-us to goat and compasses is obvious and natural enough.
The goat and compasses is thought to have originated from the similarity between a goat jumping around and the way a pair of compasses opens up, but that idea is pretty far-fetched. The sign dates back to the days of the Commonwealth, when it was trendy to give biblical names to everything and everyone, and when God-be-praised Barebones preferred to enjoy his tankard of ale at the God-encompasseth-us over anywhere else. The shift from God-encompasseth-us to goat and compasses is pretty clear and understandable.
In Richard Flecknoe’s Enigmatical Characters, published 1665, speaking of the “fanatic reformers,” (the Puritans,) he observes, “As for the SIGNS, they have pretty well begun their reformation already, changing the sign of the salutation of the angel and our lady into the soldier and citizen, and the Katherine Wheel into the cat and wheel; so as there only wants then making the dragon to kill St. George, and the devil to tweak St. Dunstan by the nose, to make the reformation complete. Such ridiculous work they make of their reformation, and so zealous are they against all mirth and jollity, as they would pluck down the sign of the cat and fiddle too, if it durst but play so loud as they might hear it.”
In Richard Flecknoe’s Enigmatical Characters, published in 1665, discussing the “fanatic reformers” (the Puritans), he notes, “As for the SIGNAGE, they have already made quite a few changes to their reformation, swapping the sign of the salutation of the angel and our lady for the soldier and citizen, and changing the Katherine Wheel into the cat and wheel; it just needs the dragon to defeat St. George, and the devil to tug at St. Dunstan’s nose to make their reformation complete. They make such a mockery of their reformation, and they’re so passionate against all fun and joy that they would even take down the sign of the cat and fiddle if it dared to play loudly enough for them to hear.”
617The cat and fiddle is a a corruption of Caton fidele.
617The cat and fiddle is a corruption of Caton fidele.
The bag of nails, at Chelsea, is claimed by the smiths and carpenters of the neighborhood as a house designed for their peculiar accommodation; but, had it not been for the corruption of the times, it would still have belonged to the bacchanals, who, in the time of Ben Jonson, used to take a holiday stroll to this delightful village. But the old inscription satyr and bacchanals is now converted into Satan and bag o’nails.
The bag of nails in Chelsea is considered by the local blacksmiths and carpenters to be a place made specifically for their unique needs; however, if it weren't for the corruption of the times, it would still be associated with the bacchanals, who, during Ben Jonson's era, would take a leisurely stroll to this charming village. But the old inscription satyr and bacchanals has now been changed to Satan and bag o’nails.
The origin of the chequers, which is so common an emblem of public houses, has been the subject of much learned conjecture. One writer supposes that they were meant to represent that the game of draughts might be played there; another has been credibly informed that in the reign of Philip and Mary the then Earl of Arundel had a grant to license public-houses, and, part of the armorial bearings of that noble family being a chequer-board, the publican, to show that he had a license, put out that mark as part of his sign. But, unfortunately for both solutions, unfortunately for the honors of Arundel, Sir W. Hamilton presented, some time ago, to the Society of Antiquaries, a view of a street in Pompeii, in which we find that shops with the sign of the chequers were common among the Romans! The real origin of this emblem is still involved in obscurity. The wittiest, though certainly not the most genuine, explanation of it was that of the late George Selwyn, who used to wonder that antiquaries should be at any loss to discover why draughts were an appropriate emblem for drinking-houses.
The origin of the chequers, a common symbol of pubs, has been the topic of much scholarly debate. One writer suggests that they indicate a place where the game of checkers could be played; another believes he heard that during the reign of Philip and Mary, the Earl of Arundel was granted a license to operate public houses, and since part of that noble family's coat of arms includes a checkered board, pub owners displayed this symbol to show they had a license. However, both of these theories have been challenged. Sir W. Hamilton recently presented to the Society of Antiquaries an image of a street in Pompeii, revealing that shops with the chequers sign were common among the Romans! The true origin of this emblem remains unclear. The most humorous, though certainly not the most credible, explanation came from the late George Selwyn, who questioned why antiquarians struggled to see that checkers were a fitting symbol for drinking establishments.
An annotator on Beloe’s Anecdotes of Literature says, “I remember, many years ago, passing through a court in Rosemary Lane, where I observed an ancient sign over the door of an ale-house, which was called The Four Alls. There was the figure of a king, and on a label, ‘I rule all;’ the figure of a priest, motto, ‘I pray for all;’ a soldier, ‘I fight for all;’ and a yeoman, ‘I pay all.’ About two years ago I passed through the same thoroughfare, and, looking up for my curious 618sign, I was amazed to see a painted board occupy its place, with these words inscribed:—‘The Four Awls.’ In Whitechapel road is a public house which has a written sign, ‘The Grave Morris.’ A painter was commissioned to embody the inscription; but this painter had not a poet’s eye; he could not body forth the form of things unknown. In his distress he applied to a friend, who presently relieved him, and the painter delineated, as well as he could, ‘The Graafe Maurice,’ often mentioned in the ‘Epistolæ Hoelinæ’”
An annotator on Beloe’s Anecdotes of Literature says, “I remember, many years ago, walking through a courtyard in Rosemary Lane, where I noticed an old sign above the door of a pub called The Four Alls. It featured a king with the caption, ‘I rule all;’ a priest with the motto, ‘I pray for all;’ a soldier with ‘I fight for all;’ and a farmer with ‘I pay all.’ About two years ago, I walked through the same street, and looking up for that intriguing sign, I was shocked to see a painted board in its place with the words:—‘The Four Awls.’ In Whitechapel Road, there’s a pub that has a sign reading, ‘The Grave Morris.’ A painter was hired to create the sign, but he didn’t have a poet’s vision; he couldn’t capture the essence of things unseen. Frustrated, he turned to a friend for help, who quickly solved his problem, allowing the painter to depict, as best he could, ‘The Graafe Maurice,’ often mentioned in the ‘Hoelin Letters.’”
The Queer Door is corrupted from Cœur Doré (Golden Heart); the Pig and Whistle, from Peg and Wassail-Bowl; the Goat in the Golden Boots, from the Dutch Goed in der Gooden Boote (the god—Mercury—in the golden boots).
The Queer Door comes from Golden Heart (Golden Heart); the Pig and Whistle comes from Peg and Wassail-Bowl; the Goat in the Golden Boots comes from the Dutch Goed in der Gooden Boote (the god—Mercury—in the golden boots).
Many signs are heraldic and represent armorial bearings. The White Heart was peculiar to Richard II.; the White Swan to Henry IV. and Edward III.; the Blue Boar to Richard III.; the Red Dragon to the Tudors; the Bull, the Falcon, and the Plume of Feathers to Edward IV.; the Swan and Antelope to Henry V.; the Greyhound and Green Dragon to Henry VII.; the Castle, the Spread Eagle, and the Globe were probably adopted from the arms of Spain, Germany, and Portugal, by inns which were the resort of merchants from those countries. Many commemorate historical events; others derive their names from some eminent and popular man. The Coach and Horses indicated post-houses; the Fox and Goose denoted the games played within; the Hare and Hounds, the vicinity of hunting-grounds. In the Middle Ages, a bush was always suspended in front of the door of a wine-shop,—whence the saying, “Good wine needs no bush.” Some of the mediæval signs are still retained, as the Pilgrim, Cross-Keys, Seven Stars, &c.
Many signs are heraldic and represent coats of arms. The White Heart was unique to Richard II; the White Swan to Henry IV and Edward III; the Blue Boar to Richard III; the Red Dragon to the Tudors; and the Bull, the Falcon, and the Feather Plume to Edward IV. The Swan and Antelope were for Henry V; the Greyhound and Green Dragon for Henry VII; and the Castle, the Spread Eagle, and the Globe were probably adopted from the arms of Spain, Germany, and Portugal by inns that attracted merchants from those countries. Many commemorate historical events, while others are named after notable and well-liked individuals. The Coach and Horses indicated post houses; the Fox and Goose represented games played inside; and the Hare and Hounds signified nearby hunting grounds. In the Middle Ages, a bush was always hung in front of a wine shop—which is where the saying “Good wine needs no bush” comes from. Some of the medieval signs are still used today, like the Pilgrim, Cross-Keys, Seven Stars, etc.
The following is a literal copy of the sign of a small public house in the village of Folkesworth, near Stilton, Hants. It contains as much poetry as perhaps the rustic Folkesworth folks are worth; and doubtless they think it (in the Stilton vernacular) “quite the cheese.”
The following is an exact copy of the sign from a small pub in the village of Folkesworth, near Stilton, Hants. It holds as much charm as the folks of rustic Folkesworth might be worth; and they likely consider it (in the Stilton dialect) “totally awesome.”
The Rawlinson of the district has deciphered this inscription, and conjectures its meaning to be as follows:—
The Rawlinson of the area has decoded this inscription and speculates that its meaning is as follows:—
In King Street, Norwich, at the sign of “The Waterman,” kept by a man who is a barber and over whose door is the pole, are these lines:—
In King Street, Norwich, at the sign of “The Waterman,” run by a barber whose pole hangs over the door, are these lines:—
This was originally an impromptu of Dean Swift, written at the request of his favorite barber.
This was originally an impromptu by Dean Swift, written at the request of his favorite barber.
Over the door of a tippling-house in Frankford, Pa., is this:—
Over the door of a bar in Frankford, Pa., is this:—
ON A TAVERN-SIGN NEAR CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND.
PUNISHMENT FOR TREASON.
620On the sign of “The Baker and the Brewer,” in Birmingham, is the following quatrain:—
620On the sign of “The Baker and the Brewer,” in Birmingham, is this quatrain:—
At the King’s Head Inn, Stutton, near Ipswich, is this address to wayworn travelers:—
At the King’s Head Inn in Stutton, near Ipswich, is this message for weary travelers:—
This tap-room inscription is in a wayside tavern in Northumberland, England:—
This tap-room inscription is in a roadside tavern in Northumberland, England:—
At the Red Lion Inn, Hollins Green, an English village, is this:—
At the Red Lion Inn, Hollins Green, an English village, is this:—
In the county of Norfolk, Eng., is this singular inscription:—
In Norfolk County, England, there's this unique inscription:—
More | beer | score | clerk |
For | my | my | his |
Do | trust | pay | sent |
I | I | must | has |
Shall | if | I | brewer |
What | and | and | my[30] |
On the sign-board of the Bull Inn at Buckland, near Dover:—
On the signboard of the Bull Inn at Buckland, near Dover:—
621At Swainsthorpe, near Norwich, England, is a public-house known as the Dun Cow. Under the portrait of the cow is this couplet:—
621At Swainsthorpe, near Norwich, England, there’s a pub called the Dun Cow. Below the painting of the cow, there’s this couplet:—
On the Basingstoke road, near Reading, England:—
On the Basingstoke road, close to Reading, England:—
The author of Tavern Anecdotes records the following:—
The author of Tavern Anecdotes shares the following:—
BEER-JUG INSCRIPTION.
INSCRIPTIONS ON INN WINDOW-PANES.
SHENSTONE’S, AT HENLEY.
A gentleman who stopped at an inn at Stockport, in 1634, left this record of his bad reception on a window of the inn:—
A man who stayed at an inn in Stockport in 1634 wrote about his poor treatment on a window of the inn:—
Yet Fynes Moryson, in his Itinerary, thus speaks of English inns in the olden time:—
Yet Fynes Moryson, in his Itinerary, speaks about English inns in the past:—
As soon as a passenger comes to an inne, the servants run to him, and one takes his horse and walkes him about till he be cool, then rubs him down, and gives him meat; another servant gives the passenger his private chamber and kindles his fire; the third pulls off his bootes and makes them cleane; then the host and hostess visit him, and if he will eate with the hoste or at a common table with the others, his meale will cost him sixpence, or in some places fourpence; but if he will eate in his chamber, he commands what meat he will, according to his appetite; yea, the kitchen is open to him to order the meat to be dressed as he likes beste. After having eaten what he pleases, he may with credit set by a part for next day’s breakfast. His bill will then be written for him, and should he object to any charge, the host is ready to alter it.
As soon as a traveler arrives at an inn, the staff rushes to assist him; one takes his horse and walks it around until it cools down, then brushes it off and feeds it. Another staff member shows the traveler to his private room and starts a fire for him. A third person removes his boots and cleans them. After that, the innkeeper and his wife come to check on him, and if he wants to eat with the innkeeper or at a communal table with others, his meal will cost him six pence, or in some places four pence. However, if he prefers to dine in his room, he can choose whatever food he likes based on his appetite; the kitchen is available for him to request dishes to be prepared as he prefers. After enjoying his meal, he can conveniently set aside some food for breakfast the next day. His bill will then be prepared for him, and if he disagrees with any charge, the innkeeper is willing to adjust it.
ON A WINDOW-PANE OF THE HOTEL SANS SOUCI, BADEN-BADEN.
THREE TRANSLATIONS WHICH FOLLOW.
INSCRIPTIONS ON BELLS.
This brief and impressive announcement—the motto of Schiller’s ever-memorable Song of the Bell—was common to the church-bells of the Middle Ages, and may still be found on the bell of the great Minster of Schaffhausen, and on that of the church near Lucerne. Another and a usual one, which is, in fact, but an amplification of the first, is this
This short and striking announcement— the motto from Schiller’s unforgettable Song of the Bell—was commonly used by church bells in the Middle Ages, and can still be seen on the bell of the great Minster of Schaffhausen and on the bell of the church near Lucerne. Another common version, which is actually just an extension of the first, is this
The following motto may still be seen on some of the bells that have swung in their steeples for centuries. It will be observed to entitle them to a sixfold efficacy.
The following motto can still be found on some of the bells that have been ringing in their steeples for centuries. It will be noted that it gives them a sixfold effectiveness.
On the famous alarm-bell called Roland, in the belfry-tower of the once powerful city of Ghent, is engraved the subjoined inscription, in the old Walloon or Flemish dialect:—
On the famous alarm bell named Roland, in the bell tower of the once powerful city of Ghent, is engraved the following inscription, in the old Walloon or Flemish dialect:—
On others may be found these inscriptions:—
On others, you can find these inscriptions:—
INSCRIPTIONS ON THE BELLS OF ST. MICHAEL’S, COVENTRY, CAST IN 1774.
There is in the abbey church at Sherborne, in Dorsetshire, a fire-bell confined exclusively to alarms in case of conflagrations. The motto around the rim or carrel runs thus:—
There is in the abbey church at Sherborne, in Dorsetshire, a fire-bell that is only used for warnings in case of fires. The motto around the rim or carrel goes like this:—
625The books of the Roman Catholic faith contain a ritual for the baptism of bells, which decrees that they be named and anointed,—a ceremonial which was supposed to insure them against the machinations of evil spirits.
625The books of the Roman Catholic faith include a ritual for baptizing bells, which states that they should be named and anointed—a ceremony intended to protect them from the influence of evil spirits.
On the largest of three bells placed by Edward III. in the Little Sanctuary, Westminster, are these words:—
On the largest of the three bells installed by Edward III in the Little Sanctuary, Westminster, are these words:—
The Great Tom of Oxford was cast after two failures, April 8, 1680, from the metal of an old bell, on which was the following curious inscription, whence its name:—
The Great Tom of Oxford was made after two failed attempts, on April 8, 1680, using the metal from an old bell, which had the following interesting inscription, giving it its name:—
On a bell in Durham Cathedral is inscribed,—
On a bell in Durham Cathedral, it is inscribed,—
On a bell at Lapley, in Staffordshire:—
On a bell at Lapley, in Staffordshire:—
On a bell in Meivod Church, Montgomeryshire:—
On a bell in Meivod Church, Montgomeryshire:—
On Independence bell, Philadelphia, from Lev. xxv. 10:—
On Independence Bell, Philadelphia, from Lev. xxv. 10:—
In St. Helen’s Church, Worcester, England, is a chime of bells cast in the time of Queen Anne, with names and inscriptions commemorative of victories gained during her reign:—
In St. Helen’s Church, Worcester, England, there is a set of bells made during the time of Queen Anne, featuring names and inscriptions that celebrate the victories won during her reign:—
The inscriptions are all dated 1706, except that on the seventh, which is dated 1712.
The inscriptions are all dated 1706, except for the one on the seventh, which is dated 1712.
On one of eight bells in the church tower of Pilton, Devon, is a modern achievement in this kind of literature:—
On one of the eight bells in the church tower of Pilton, Devon, is a contemporary achievement in this type of writing:—
In St. John’s Cathedral, Hong Kong:—
In St. John’s Cathedral, Hong Kong:—
At Fotheringay, Northamptonshire:—
At Fotheringay, Northants:—
At Hornby:—
At Hornby:—
627At Nottingham:—
At Nottingham:—
At Bolton:—
At Bolton:—
Distich inscribed on a bell at Bergamoz, by Cardinal Orsini, Benedict XIII.:—
Distich inscribed on a bell at Bergamoz, by Cardinal Orsini, Benedict XIII.:—
Call to action, | sign, | noto, | compel, | concino, | ploro, |
│ | │ | │ | │ | │ | │ |
Weapon, | Dies, | Hours, | Fulgura, | Party, | Rogues. |
Similar in form is an inscription on Lindsey Court-house:—
Similar in form is an inscription on Lindsey Courthouse:—
This house | ||||
Odit | amat | punit | conservative | honored |
│ | │ | │ | │ | │ |
Nequitiam, | peace, | crimes, | jura, | bonds. |
On the clock of the town hall of Bala, North Wales, is the following inscription:—
On the clock at the town hall of Bala, North Wales, is the following inscription:—
FLY-LEAF INSCRIPTIONS IN BOOKS.
The following lines, formerly popular among youthful scholars, may still be found in school-books:—
The following lines, once popular among young students, can still be found in textbooks:—
The curious warning subjoined—paradoxical in view of the improbability of any honest friend pilfering—has descended to our times from the days of black-letter printing:—
The strange warning added here—ironic considering how unlikely it is for any honest friend to steal—has come down to us from the era of old-fashioned printing:—
Another often met with is this:—
Another common one is this:—
The two following admonitions are full of salutary advice to book-borrowers:—
The two following pieces of advice are full of helpful tips for people who borrow books:—
☞ Read slowly, pause frequently, think seriously, keep clean, RETURN DULY, with the corners of the leaves not turned down.
☞ Read slowly, take breaks often, think carefully, stay tidy, RETURN DULY, without dog-earing the pages.
Of the warning and menacing kind are the following:—
Of a warning and threatening nature are the following:—
Here follows a figure of an unfortunate individual suspended “in malam crucem.”
Here follows a figure of an unfortunate individual hanging “in the evening cross.”
The following macaronic is taken from a copy of the Companion to the Festivals and Fasts, 1717:—
The following mix of languages is taken from a copy of the Companion to the Festivals and Fasts, 1717:—
Taken from an old copy-book:
From an old copybook:
On the fly-leaf of a Bible may sometimes be seen:
On the fly-leaf of a Bible, you might sometimes see:
The two following are very common in village schools:—
The following two are very common in village schools:—
631This pretty presentation-verse is sometimes met with:—
631This lovely little verse is sometimes encountered:—
The early conductors of the press were in the habit of affixing to the end of the volumes they printed some device or couplet concerning the book, with the names of the printer and proof-reader added. The following example is from Andrew Bocard’s edition of The Pragmatic Sanction, Paris, 1507:—
The early printers would often attach a small design or couplet at the end of the books they printed, along with the names of the printer and proofreader. Here’s an example from Andrew Bocard’s edition of The Pragmatic Sanction, Paris, 1507:—
On the title-page of a book called Gentlemen, Look about You, is the following curious request:—
On the title page of a book called Gentlemen, Look about You, there's this interesting request:—
MOTTO ON A CLOCK.
WATCH-PAPER INSCRIPTION.
SUN-DIAL INSCRIPTIONS.
INSCRIPTION OVER A SPRING.
INSCRIPTIONS ON AN ÆOLIAN HARP.
AT THE ENDS.
ON THE SIDE.
Mr. Longfellow’s admirers will remember his beautiful little poem commencing:—
Mr. Longfellow’s fans will recall his lovely short poem that begins:—
This “Saxon phrase” is not obsolete. It may be seen, for instance, inscribed over the entrance to a modern cemetery at Basle—
This "Saxon phrase" is not outdated. You can see it, for example, carved above the entrance to a modern cemetery in Basel—
Over a gateway near the church of San Eusebio, Rome:—
Over a gateway near the church of San Eusebio, Rome:—
Over the door of the house in which Selden was born, Salvington, Sussex:—
Over the door of the house where Selden was born, Salvington, Sussex:—
Thus paraphrased:—
Thus rephrased:—
HOUSE INSCRIPTIONS.
On the Town-house Wittenberg:—
On the Wittenberg Townhouse:—
Over the gate of a Casino, near Maddaloni:—
Over the gate of a Casino, near Maddaloni:—
On a west-of-England mansion:—
In a mansion in west England:—
Fuller (Holy and Profane State) and Walton (Life of George Herbert) notice a verse engraved upon a mantelpiece in the Parsonage House built by George Herbert at his own expense. The faithful minister thus counsels his successor:—
Fuller (Holy and Profane State) and Walton (Life of George Herbert) mention a verse carved on a mantelpiece in the Parsonage House that George Herbert built at his own cost. The devoted minister offers this advice to his successor:—
The following is emblazoned around the banqueting hall of Bulwer’s ancestral home, Knebworth:—
The following is displayed around the banquet hall of Bulwer’s ancestral home, Knebworth:—
635On a pane of glass in an old window in the coffee-room of the White Lion, Chester, England:—
635On a piece of glass in an old window in the coffee room of the White Lion, Chester, England:—
Tourist’s wit on a window pane at Lodore:—
Tourist's quote on a window pane at Lodore:—
On a pane of the Hotel des Pays-Bas, Spa, Belgium:—
On a window of the Hotel des Pays-Bas, Spa, Belgium:—
MEMORIALS.
An English gentleman, who, in 1715, spent some time in prison, left the following memorial on the windows of his cell. On one pane of glass he wrote:—
An English gentleman, who, in 1715, spent some time in prison, left the following memorial on the windows of his cell. On one pane of glass he wrote:—
On another square he wrote, Mutare vel timere sperno, and on a third pane, sed victa Catoni.[31]
On another square he wrote, I reject changing or fearing., and on a third pane, sed victa Catoni.[31]
A Mr. Barton, on retiring with a fortune made in the wool-trade, built a fair stone house at Holme, in Nottinghamshire, in the window of which was the following couplet,—an humble acknowledgment of the means whereby he had acquired his estate:—
A Mr. Barton, after gaining a fortune in the wool trade, built a nice stone house in Holme, Nottinghamshire, in the window of which was the following couplet—a modest acknowledgment of the means by which he had acquired his wealth:—
FRANCKE’S ENCOURAGING DISCOVERY.
It is said that when Francke was engaged in the great work of erecting his world-known Orphan-House at Halle, for the means of which he looked to the Lord in importunate prayer from day to day, an apparently accidental circumstance made an abiding impression on him and those about him. A workman, in digging a part of the foundation, found a small silver coin, with the following inscription:—
It is said that when Francke was busy building his famous Orphan-House in Halle, relying on the Lord through persistent prayer every day for its funding, an apparently random event had a lasting impact on him and those around him. While digging a part of the foundation, a worker discovered a small silver coin with the following inscription:—
GOLDEN MOTTOES.
A vain man’s motto,— | Win gold and wear it. |
A generous man’s motto,— | Win gold and share it. |
A miser’s motto,— | Win gold and spare it. |
A profligate’s motto,— | Win gold and spend it. |
A broker’s motto,— | Win gold and lend it. |
A fool’s motto,— | Win gold and end it. |
A gambler’s motto,— | Win gold and lose it. |
A sailor’s motto,— | Win gold and cruise it. |
A wise man’s motto,— | Win gold and use it. |
POSIES FROM WEDDING-RINGS.
Jacques. You are full of pretty answers: have you not been acquainted with goldsmiths’ wives, and conned them out of rings?—
Jacques. You have a lot of clever replies: haven’t you gotten to know any goldsmiths’ wives and sweet-talked them out of their rings?—
The following posies were transcribed by an indefatigable collector, from old wedding-rings, chiefly of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. The orthography is, in most cases, altered:—
The following poems were transcribed by a tireless collector from old wedding rings, mainly from the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. The spelling has been changed in most cases:—
In its circular continuity, the ring was accepted as a type of eternity, and, hence, the stability of affection.
In its endless loop, the ring was embraced as a symbol of forever, representing the strength of love.
Or, as Herrick says,—
Or, as Herrick puts it,—
LADY KATHERINE GREY’S WEDDING-RING.
The ring received by this excellent woman, who was a sister of Lady Jane Grey, from her husband, the Earl of Hertford, at their marriage, consisted of five golden links, the four inner ones bearing the following lines, of the earl’s composition:—
The ring given to this wonderful woman, who was a sister of Lady Jane Grey, by her husband, the Earl of Hertford, at their wedding, was made up of five golden links, the four inner ones featuring the following lines, created by the earl:—
Parallel Passages.
INCLUDING IMITATIONS, PLAGIARISMS, AND ACCIDENTAL COINCIDENCES.
Pretensions to originality are ludicrous.—Byron’s Letters.
Claims of originality are ridiculous.—Byron’s Letters.
Milton “borrowed” other poets’ thoughts, but he did not borrow as gipsies borrow children, spoiling their features that they may not be recognized. No, he returned them improved. Had he “borrowed” your coat, he would have restored it with a new nap upon it!—Leigh Hunt.
Milton "borrowed" ideas from other poets, but he didn't do it like gypsies take kids, ruining their looks so they can't be recognized. No, he gave them back better. If he "borrowed" your coat, he would have returned it with a fresh shine!—Leigh Hunt.
Evidently stolen from Dr. Young:—
Clearly taken from Dr. Young:—
But Congreve had said, not long before,—
But Congreve had said recently,—
Copied from Blair:—
Copied from Blair:—
But this pretty conceit originated with Norris, of Bemerton, (died 1711,) in a religious poem:—
But this charming idea began with Norris, of Bemerton, (died 1711,) in a religious poem:—
Gray himself points out the imitation in Shakspeare:—
Gray himself points out the imitation in Shakespeare:—
641Otway also makes Priuli exclaim to his daughter,—
641Otway also has Priuli exclaim to his daughter,—
Doubtless suggested to Rogers by the lines in Gray’s Elegy:—
Doubtless suggested to Rogers by the lines in Gray’s Elegy:—
For this expression Gray was indebted to Virgil:—
For this expression, Gray was inspired by Virgil:—
Gray says concerning the blindness of Milton,—
Gray discusses Milton's blindness—
(Dr. Johnson remarks that if we suppose the blindness caused by study in the formation of his poem, this account is poetically true and happily imagined.)
(Dr. Johnson observes that if we consider the blindness brought on by his study in creating the poem, this explanation is poetically accurate and creatively conceived.)
Hermias, a Galatian writer of the second century, says of Homer’s blindness,—
Hermias, a Galatian writer from the second century, talks about Homer’s blindness,—
When Homer resolved to write of Achilles, he had an exceeding desire to fill his mind with a just idea of so glorious a hero: wherefore, having paid all due honors at his tomb, he entreats that he may obtain a sight of him. The hero grants his poet’s petition, and rises in a glorious suit of armor, which cast so insufferable a splendor that Homer lost his eyes while he gazed for the enlargement of his notions.
When Homer decided to write about Achilles, he felt a strong need to fully understand such a magnificent hero. So, after showing all the proper respects at his tomb, he asked to see him. The hero granted the poet's request and appeared in a brilliant suit of armor that shone so intensely that Homer was blinded as he looked to expand his understanding.
(Pope says if this be any thing more than mere fable, one would be apt to imagine it insinuated his contracting a blindness by too intense application while he wrote the Iliad.)
(Pontiff says if this is anything more than just a story, one might think it hints at him going blind from concentrating too hard while he wrote the Iliad.)
Hume’s sarcastic fling at the clergy in a note to the first volume of his history is not original. He says,—
Hume's sarcastic jab at the clergy in a note to the first volume of his history isn’t a new idea. He states,—
The ambition of the clergy can often be satisfied only by promoting ignorance, and superstition, and implicit faith, and pious frauds; and having got what Archimedes only wanted,—another world on which he could fix his engine,—no wonder they move this world at their pleasure.
The ambition of the clergy can often be fulfilled only by encouraging ignorance, superstition, blind faith, and religious deceptions; and having found what Archimedes only sought—another world to focus his engine on—it’s no surprise they manipulate this world as they wish.
In Dryden’s Don Sebastian, Dorax thus addresses the Mufti:—
In Dryden’s Don Sebastian, Dorax talks to the Mufti like this:—
643Dryden says of the Earl of Shaftesbury,—
643Dryden talks about the Earl of Shaftesbury,—
Pope adopts similar language in addressing his friend Dr. Arbuthnot:—
Pope uses similar wording when speaking to his friend Dr. Arbuthnot:—
Seneca said, eighteen centuries ago,—
Seneca said, eighteen centuries ago,—
Nullum magnum ingenium absque mistura dementiæ est:—De Tranquil.;
No great genius is without a touch of madness.:—De Tranquil.;
and Aristotle had said it before him (Problemata).
and Aristotle had said it before him (Problems).
Sir Walter Scott says in his Woodstock,—in the scene where Alice Lee, in the presence of Charles II. under the assumed name of Louis Kerneguy, describes the character she supposes the king to have:—
Sir Walter Scott says in his Woodstock,—in the scene where Alice Lee, in front of Charles II. while using the fake name Louis Kerneguy, describes the personality she thinks the king has:—
Kerneguy and his supposed patron felt embarrassed, perhaps from a consciousness that the real Charles fell far short of his ideal character as designed in such glowing colors. In some cases exaggerated or inappropriate praise becomes the most severe satire.
Kerneguy and his supposed patron felt awkward, maybe because they realized that the real Charles was nothing like the idealized version they had painted in such flattering terms. In some cases exaggerated or inappropriate praise becomes the most severe satire.
Probably borrowed by Pope in the following lines:—
Probably taken from Pope in the lines below:—
Drawn from Bolingbroke, who plagiarized the idea from Seneca, who says,—
Drawn from Bolingbroke, who copied the idea from Seneca, who says,—
O Marcellus, happier when Brutus approved thy exile than when the commonwealth approved thy consulship.
O Marcellus, you were happier when Brutus supported your exile than when the republic approved your consulship.
Taken from Cowley:—
Taken from Cowley:—
Imitated from Crashawe’s couplet:—
Imitated from Crashawe’s couplet:—
Lamartine, in his Jocelyn, has the same expression:—
Lamartine, in his Jocelyn, uses the same expression:—
This smart piece of antithesis Pope borrowed from Quinctilian, who says,—
This clever use of contrast Pope took from Quintilian, who says,—
Dr. Johnson also hurled this missile at Lord Chesterfield, calling him “A lord among wits, and a wit among lords.” The earl had offended the rugged lexicographer, whose barbarous manners in company Chesterfield holds up, in his Letters to his son, as things to be avoided.
Dr. Johnson also threw this insult at Lord Chesterfield, calling him “A lord among wits, and a wit among lords.” The earl had upset the tough lexicographer, whose rough behavior in social settings Chesterfield points out in his Letters to his son as something to avoid.
This has a strong affinity with a passage in Howell’s Letters:—
This has a strong connection to a section in Howell's Letters:—
’Tis a powerful sex: they were too strong for the first, for the strongest, and for the wisest man that was: they must needs be strong, when one hair of a woman can draw more than a hundred pair of oxen.
It’s a powerful force: they were too strong for the first, for the strongest, and for the wisest man ever. They must be strong when one hair of a woman can pull more than a hundred pairs of oxen.
Probably from De Caux, an old French poet, who says,—
Probably from De Caux, an old French poet, who says,—
Stolen from Lord Bacon:—
Stolen from Lord Bacon:—
Princes are like to heavenly bodies, which cause good or evil times, and which have much veneration, but no rest.—Of Empire.
Princes are like heavenly bodies, which bring about good or bad times, and are greatly revered, yet never find peace.—Of Empire.
Burke, in speaking of the morals of France prior to the Revolution, says,—
Burke, when talking about the morals of France before the Revolution, says,—
Vice itself lost half its evil by losing all its grossness.
Vice itself lost half its negativity by shedding all its unpleasantness.
This statement—the falsity of which is apparent—is disproved by a score of contradictions. Let Lord Bacon suffice:—
This statement—its falsehood is obvious—is disproven by numerous contradictions. Let Lord Bacon be enough:—
Another [of the Rabbins] noteth a position in moral philosophy, that men abandoned to vice do not so much corrupt manners as those that are half good and half evil.—Advancement of Learning.
Another [of the Rabbins] notes a point in moral philosophy, that men who are completely given to vice don’t corrupt manners as much as those who are half good and half evil.—Advancement of Learning.
Things not to be trusted:—
Things not to trust:—
The collocation of dogs and harlots in both passages is very remarkable.
The pairing of dogs and prostitutes in both passages is quite striking.
Shakspeare’s dreamy Dane says,—
Shakespeare's dreamy Dane says,—
A sentiment very nearly expressed in Horace’s Ode to Venus:—
A feeling that’s almost conveyed in Horace’s Ode to Venus:—
(As for me, neither woman, nor youth, nor the fond hope of mutual inclination, &c. delight me.)
(As for me, neither woman, nor youth, nor the hopeful dream of mutual attraction, etc. delight me.)
Palladas, a Greek poet of the third century, has the following, translated by Merivale:—
Palladas, a Greek poet from the third century, has this, translated by Merivale:—
Pythagoras, who lived nearly two centuries later, also said,—
Pythagoras, who lived almost two hundred years later, also said,—
Among the epigrams of Palladas may be found the original of a modern saw, the purport of which is that an ignoramus, by maintaining a prudent silence, may pass for a wise man:—
Among the epigrams of Palladas you can find the source of a modern saying, which means that a fool, by keeping quiet, can be mistaken for a wise man:—
Shakspeare uses it in the Merchant of Venice:—
Shakespeare uses it in the Merchant of Venice:—
647A similar form of expression occurs in the Book of Job, x. 21, and xvi. 22; but it is probable, from this and other passages, that Shakspeare’s acquaintance with the Latin writers was greater than has been generally supposed. One of the commentators on Hamlet, in pointing out the similarity of ideas in the lines commencing, “The cock, that is the trumpet to the morn,” &c. (Act I.) and the hymn of St. Ambrose in the Salisbury collection,—
647A similar way of expressing things appears in the Book of Job, 10:21 and 16:22; but it’s likely, from this and other sections, that Shakespeare’s knowledge of Latin writers was deeper than most people realize. One of the commentators on Hamlet, while highlighting the similarity of themes in the lines that start, “The cock, that is the trumpet to the morn,” etc. (Act I.) and the hymn of St. Ambrose in the Salisbury collection,—
has the following remark. “Some future Dr. Farmer may, perhaps, show how Shakspeare became acquainted with this passage, without being able to read the original; for the resemblance is too close to be accidental. But this, with many other passages, and especially his original Latinisms of phrase, give evidence enough of a certain degree of acquaintance with Latin,—doubtless not familiar nor scholar-like, but sufficient to give a coloring to his style, and to open to him many treasures of poetical thought and diction not accessible to the merely English reader. Such a degree of acquirement might well appear low to an accomplished Latinist like Ben Jonson, and authorize him to say of his friend,—
has the following remark. “Some future Dr. Farmer may, perhaps, show how Shakespeare came across this passage without being able to read the original; the similarity is too strong to be just a coincidence. However, this, along with many other passages, especially his original Latin phrases, provides enough evidence of a certain level of familiarity with Latin—undoubtedly not deep or scholarly, but enough to influence his style and to grant him access to many treasures of poetic thought and expression that are not available to a purely English reader. Such a level of learning might seem minimal to a proficient Latinist like Ben Jonson, and could justify him in saying of his friend—
yet the very mention of his ‘small Latin’ indicates that Ben knew that he had some.”
yet the very mention of his ‘small Latin’ shows that Ben knew he had some.”
Mr. Fox, the orator, remarked on one occasion that Shakspeare must have had some acquaintance with Euripides, for he could trace resemblances between passages of their dramas: e.g. what Alcestis in her last moments says about her servants is like what the dying Queen Katharine (in Henry the Eighth) says about hers, &c.
Mr. Fox, the speaker, noted on one occasion that Shakespeare must have been familiar with Euripides because he could identify similarities between lines in their plays: for example, what Alcestis says about her servants in her final moments is similar to what the dying Queen Katharine (in Henry the Eighth) says about hers, etc.
648That Shakspeare “may often be tracked in the snow” of Terence, as Dryden remarks of Ben Jonson, is evident from the following:—
648That Shakespeare “can often be traced in the snow” of Terence, as Dryden noted about Ben Jonson, is clear from the following:—
The last line is manifestly an alteration of the words of Parmeno in The Eunuch of Terence:—
The last line is clearly a change from the words of Parmeno in The Eunuch by Terence:—
In another play Terence says,—
In another play, Terence says,—
Shakspeare has it,—
Shakespeare has it,—
Apropos of this sentiment, Swift says,—
In line with this sentiment, Swift says,—
I never knew a man who could not bear the misfortunes of others with the most Christian resignation.—Thoughts on Various Subjects.
I never met a man who couldn’t handle the hardships of others with the utmost Christian grace.—Thoughts on Various Subjects.
And La Rochefoucauld,—
And La Rochefoucauld,—
We have all of us sufficient fortitude to bear the misfortunes of others.—Max. 20.
We all have enough strength to handle the misfortunes of others.—Max. 20.
Falstaff says, in 1 Henry IV. ii. 4,—
Falstaff says, in 1 Henry IV. ii. 4,—
For though the camomile, the more it is trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth, the more it is wasted, the sooner it wears.
For even though chamomile grows faster when it's stepped on, youth wears away more quickly the more it's wasted.
Shakspeare evidently here parodied an expression in Sir John Lyly’s Euphues:—
Shakespeare clearly parodied a phrase from Sir John Lyly's Euphues:—
Though the camomile, the more it is trodden and pressed downe, the more it spreadeth; yet the violet, the oftener it is handled and touched, the sooner it withereth and decaieth.
Though chamomile, the more it is stepped on and pressed down, the more it spreads; yet the violet, the more it is handled and touched, the sooner it wilts and decays.
649Two verses in Titus Andronicus appear to have pleased Shakspeare so well that he twice subsequently closely copied them:—
649Two lines in Titus Andronicus seem to have impressed Shakespeare so much that he later copied them closely on two occasions:—
Though Shakspeare has drawn freely from others, he is himself a mine from which many builders have quarried their materials,—a Coliseum
Though Shakespeare has borrowed freely from others, he is himself a source from which many creators have taken their materials—a Coliseum.
This is only a new rendering of the thought thus expressed by Shakspeare:—
This is just a fresh interpretation of the idea conveyed by Shakespeare:—
The military figure of Shakspeare’s musical lines,—
The military character in Shakespeare’s musical lines,—
is closely imitated by Chamberlain:—
is closely mimicked by Chamberlain:—
Copied from the Merchant of Venice:—
Copied from the The Merchant of Venice:—
How can we expect another to keep our secret if we cannot keep it ourselves?—La Rochefoucauld, Max. 90.
How can we expect someone else to keep our secret if we can't keep it ourselves?—La Rochefoucauld, Max. 90.
Toute révélation d’un secret est la faute de celui qui l’a confié.—La Bruyere: De la Société.
Sharing a secret is the responsibility of the person who revealed it.—La Bruyere: De la Société.
It were better to be eaten to death with rust than to be scoured to nothing by perpetual motion.—Henry IV., Second Part, I. 2.
It’s better to be eaten alive by rust than to be worn down to nothing by constant motion.—Henry IV., Second Part, I. 2.
Reversed by Byron:—
Reversed by Byron:—
The following song from Shakspeare’s Measure for Measure, commencing as follows, is copied verbatim in Beaumont and Fletcher’s Bloody Brother:—
The following song from Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, starting like this, is copied exactly in Beaumont and Fletcher's Bloody Brother:—
The following line occurs both in Pope’s Dunciad and Addison’s Campaign:—
The following line appears in both Pope's Dunciad and Addison's Campaign:—
Ben Jonson borrowed his celebrated ballad To Celia,—
Ben Jonson borrowed his famous ballad To Celia,—
from Philostratus, a Greek poet, who flourished at the court of the Emperor Severus.
from Philostratus, a Greek poet, who thrived at the court of Emperor Severus.
In Milton’s description of the lazar-house occurs the following confused metaphor:—
In Milton's description of the lazar-house, there’s a confusing metaphor:—
Derived from a similar combination in Tibullus:—
Derived from a similar mix in Tibullus:—
Le vice rend hommage à la vertu en s’honorant de ses apparences.—Massillon.
Vice respects virtue by pretending to be virtuous.—Massillon.
It is better to desire than to enjoy, to love than to be loved.—
It’s better to long for something than to actually have it, to love than to be loved.
It makes us proud when our love of a mistress is returned: it ought to make us prouder still when we can love her for herself alone, without the aid of any such selfish reflection. This is the religion of love.—Hazlitt: Characteristics.
It makes us proud when our love for someone is reciprocated; it should make us even prouder when we can love her just for who she is, without any selfish thoughts involved. This is the essence of love.—Hazlitt: Characteristics.
People who are always taking care of their health are like misers, who are hoarding up a treasure which they have never spirit enough to enjoy.—Sterne: Koran.
People who are always focused on their health are like misers, hoarding a treasure they never have the courage to enjoy.—Stars: Koran.
Preserving the health by too strict a regimen is a wearisome malady.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 285.
Preserving health through an overly strict regimen is a tiresome illness.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 285.
I weigh the man, not his title; ’tis not the king’s stamp can make the metal bettor or heavier. Your lord is a leaden shilling, which you bend every way, and debases the stamp he bears.
I judge the man, not his title; it’s not the king’s mark that can make the metal any better or heavier. Your lord is a worthless coin, which you can bend in any direction, and it cheapens the mark it carries.
Titles of honor are like the impressions on coin, which add no value to gold and silver, but only render brass current.—Sterne: Koran.
Titles of honor are like the markings on coins, which don’t add any value to gold and silver but only make brass acceptable.—Stars: Koran.
Kings do with men as with pieces of money: they give them what value they please, and we are obliged to receive them at their current, and not at their real, value.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 160.
Kings treat people like coins: they assign them whatever value they choose, and we have to accept them at that assigned value, rather than their actual worth.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 160.
Kossuth’s “To him that wills, nothing is impossible,”[34] is thus expressed by La Rochefoucauld:—
Kossuth's “To him that wills, nothing is impossible,”[34] is thus expressed by La Rochefoucauld:—
Nothing is impossible: there are ways which lead to every thing; and if we had sufficient will, we should always have sufficient means.—Max. 255.
Nothing is impossible: there are paths that lead to everything; and if we had enough determination, we would always have enough resources.—Max. 255.
Shelley gives the idea as follows:—
Shelley presents the idea as follows:—
To most men, experience is like the stern-lights of a ship, which illumine only the track it has passed.—Coleridge.
To most men, experience is like the stern lights of a ship, which only light up the path it has already traveled.—Coleridge.
We arrive complete novices at the different ages of life, and we often want experience in spite of the number of our years.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 430.
We come into each stage of life as complete beginners, and we often crave experience regardless of how many years we've lived.—La Rochefoucauld: Max. 430.
The same idea may be found in the Adelphi of Terence, Act V. Sc. 2, v. 1–4.
The same idea can be found in the Adelphi by Terence, Act V. Sc. 2, v. 1–4.
654But Demosthenes, the famous Grecian orator, had said, long before,—
654But Demosthenes, the famous Greek speaker, had said, long before,—
Horace, in describing such a capricious kind of love, uses the following language:—
Horace, when talking about this unpredictable kind of love, uses the following words:—
which is nearly a translation of the eleventh epigram of Callimachus.
which is almost a translation of the eleventh epigram of Callimachus.
Molière has the same sentiment:—
Molière feels the same way:—
It may also be found in Ennius, Euripides, and other writers. The last notability who has expressed the idea is Emerson, who says,—
It can also be found in Ennius, Euripides, and other writers. The most recent person to express this idea is Emerson, who says,—
It adds a great deal to the force of an opinion to know that there is a man of mark and likelihood behind it.
It really strengthens an opinion to know that there's a significant and credible person supporting it.
Campbell adopts the thoughts of these italicized words in the Mariners of England:—
Campbell takes on the ideas of these italicized words in the Mariners of England:—
Lockhart says, in his Life of Sir Walter Scott, “It was on this occasion, I believe, that Scott first saw his friend’s brother Reginald (Heber), in after-days the Apostolic Bishop of Calcutta. He had just been declared the successful competitor for that year’s poetical prize, and read to Scott at breakfast, in Brazennose College, the MS. of his Palestine. Scott observed that in the verses on Solomon’s Temple one striking circumstance had escaped him, namely, that no tools were used in its erection. Reginald retired for a few minutes to the corner of the room, and returned with the beautiful lines,—
Lockhart says, in his Life of Sir Walter Scott, “It was on this occasion, I believe, that Scott first met his friend’s brother Reginald (Heber), who later became the Apostolic Bishop of Calcutta. He had just been announced as the winner of that year’s poetry prize and read his manuscript of Palestine to Scott at breakfast in Brazennose College. Scott pointed out that one important detail was missing in the verses about Solomon’s Temple: that no tools were used in its construction. Reginald stepped away for a few minutes to a corner of the room and came back with the beautiful lines,—
Cowper had previously expressed the same idea:—
Cowper had earlier shared the same thought:—
Milton had also said,—
Milton also said,—
Dryden evidently had in mind the language of Themistocles to the King of Persia:—
Dryden clearly referenced the words of Themistocles to the King of Persia:—
656Speech is like cloth of arras opened and put abroad, whereby the imagery doth appear in figure, whereas in thoughts they lie but in packs (i.e. rolled up, or packed up).
656Speech is like a tapestry spread out for all to see, revealing images in detail, while thoughts remain bundled up.
Voltaire, in his Œdipus, makes Jocasta say,—
Voltaire, in his Oedipus, has Jocasta say,—
In Milton’s Samson Agonistes we find,—
In Milton’s Samson Agonistes, we find,—
A similar thought may be found in Dante:—
A similar thought can be found in Dante:—
(There is no greater pain than to recall a happy time in wretchedness.)
(There is no greater pain than remembering a happy time while feeling miserable.)
Also Chaucer:—
Also Chaucer:—
The same thought occurs in the writings of other Italian poets. See Marino, Adone, c. xiv.; Fortinguerra, Ricciardetto, c. xi.; and Petrarch, canzone 46. The original was probably in Boetius, de Consol. Philosoph.:—
The same idea appears in the works of other Italian poets. See Marino, Adone, c. xiv.; Fortinguerra, Ricciardetto, c. xi.; and Petrarch, song 46. The original was likely in Boethius, de Consol. Philosoph.:—
In omni adversitate fortunæ infeliCissimum genus est infortunii fuisse felicem et non esse.—L. ii. pr. 4.
In every hardship, the worst kind of misfortune is to have once been happy and now no longer be so.—L. ii. pr. 4.
The famous pun in the imitation of Crabbe in the Rejected Addresses:—
The famous pun in the imitation of Crabbe in the Rejected Addresses:—
and of Holmes in his Urania:—
and of Holmes in his Urania:—
had been anticipated by Thomas Heywood in a song:—
had been anticipated by Thomas Heywood in a song:—
657Falstaff’s pun:—
Falstaff's pun:—
Indeed I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift,—(Merry Wives of Windsor.)
Indeed, I'm roughly two yards around the waist; but I'm not about any waste; I'm focused on being thrifty,—(Merry Wives of Windsor.)
had also been anticipated, and may be found in Heywood’s “Epigrammes,” 1562:—
had also been expected, and can be found in Heywood's “Epigrammes,” 1562:—
The same play on the word occurs subsequently in Shirley’s comedy of The Wedding, 1629:—
The same wordplay happens later in Shirley’s comedy The Wedding, 1629:—
He is a great man indeed; something given to the waist, for he lives within no reasonable compass.
He is truly a great man; somewhat indulgent, as he doesn't keep himself within any reasonable limits.
Moore, in his song Dear Harp of my Country, sings,—
Moore, in his song Dear Harp of my Country, sings,—
an idea probably caught from Horace’s Ode to Melpomene:—
an idea likely taken from Horace's Ode to Melpomene:—
(That I am pointed out by the fingers of passers-by as the stringer of the Roman lyre, is entirely thy gift: that I breathe and give pleasure, if I do give pleasure, is thine.)
(That people point at me and recognize me as the player of the Roman lyre is all thanks to you: that I exist and bring joy, if I do bring joy, is because of you.)
Man was made when Nature was but an apprentice, but woman when she was a skilful mistress of her art.—Cupid’s Whirligig (1607).
Man was created when Nature was still learning, but woman was made when she had mastered her craft.—Cupid’s Whirligig (1607).
Imitated by Sir John Suckling in his ballad of The Wedding:—
Imitated by Sir John Suckling in his ballad titled The Wedding:—
Waller says, in his Lines to a Lady singing a song of his own composing,—
Waller says in his Lines to a Lady singing a song of his own composing,—
Moore uses the same figure:—
Moore uses the same figure:—
The original in The Myrmidons of Eschylus has been thus translated:—
The original in The Myrmidons of Aeschylus has been translated like this:—
Suggested by the following passage:—
Suggested by the following text:—
And as Praxiteles did by his glass when he saw a scurvy face in it, brake it to pieces, but for that one he saw many more as bad in a moment.
And just like Praxiteles did with his mirror when he saw an ugly face, he smashed it to pieces, but in that instant, he noticed many more just as bad.
Borrowed from La Rochefoucauld:—
Borrowed from La Rochefoucauld:—
Dans les premières passions les femmes aiment l’amant; dans les autres elles aiment l’amour.—Max. 494.
At the beginning of a romance, women are attracted to their partner; as time goes on, they become enamored with the idea of love itself.—Max. 494.
In the same place Byron adds:—
In the same place, Byron adds:—
And in some observations upon an article in Blackwood’s Magazine, he says,—
And in some comments on an article in Blackwood’s Magazine, he says,—
Writing grows a habit, like a woman’s gallantry. There are women who have had no intrigue, but few who have had but one only: so there are millions of men who have never written a book, but few who have written only one.
Writing becomes a habit, much like a woman's charm. Some women may not have had many romantic encounters, but it’s rare to find one who has had just a single experience. Similarly, there are countless men who have never authored a book, but few who have written just one.
This idea is also borrowed from La Rochefoucauld:—
This idea is also taken from La Rochefoucauld:—
On peut trouver des femmes qui n’ont jamais eu de galanterie; mais il est rare d’en trouver qui n’en aient jamais eu qu’une.—Max. 73.
On peut trouver des femmes qui n’ont jamais eu de galanterie; mais il est rare d’en trouver qui n’en aient jamais eu qu’une.—Max. 73.
Cento si richieggono ad edificare; un solo basta per distruggere tutto.—Muratori’s Annals.
A hundred people can collaborate to create something, but just one can ruin it all.—Muratori's Annals.
Vide also Epist. XI. 28.
See also Epist. XI. 28.
Dryden, alluding to his work, says,—
Dryden, referring to his work, says,—
When it was only a confused mass of thoughts tumbling over one another in the dark; when the fancy was yet in its first work, moving the sleeping images of things towards the light, there to be distinguished, and there either to be chosen or rejected by the judgment.—Rival Ladies (1664).
When it was just a jumbled mess of thoughts overlapping each other in the dark; when imagination was still in its initial phase, bringing the dormant images of things into the light, where they could be recognized, and then either selected or dismissed by the mind.—Rival Ladies (1664).
Byron thus appropriates the idea:—
Byron thus takes the idea:—
Richardson had said, long before,—
Richardson had said, long ago,—
Indeed, it is to this deep concern that my levity is owing; for I struggle and struggle, and try to buffet down my cruel reflections as they rise; and when I cannot, I am forced to try to make myself laugh that I may not cry; for one or other I must do: and is it not philosophy carried to the highest pitch for a man to conquer such tumults of soul as I am sometimes agitated by, and in the very height of the storm to quaver out a horse-laugh?
Indeed, my lightheartedness comes from this deep concern; I fight and fight, trying to push down my harsh thoughts as they come up. When I can't, I have to make myself laugh so I won't cry; I have to do one or the other. Isn’t it the highest form of philosophy for someone to conquer the inner turmoil I sometimes feel and, in the midst of the storm, let out a hearty laugh?
661In the Antiquary of Sir Walter Scott, Maggie says to Oldbuck of Monkbarns (ch. xi.):—
661In the Antiquary by Sir Walter Scott, Maggie says to Oldbuck of Monkbarns (ch. xi.):—
Tom Hood, appears to have borrowed this idea in the Song of the Shirt:—
Tom Hood seems to have taken this idea from the Song of the Shirt:—
In Rogers’ poem, Human Life is this couplet describing a good wife:—
In Rogers’ poem, Human Life is this couplet describing a good wife:—
In the Tatler, No. 49, it is said of a model couple, Amanda and Florio, that “their satisfactions are doubled, their sorrows lessened, by participation.”
In the Tatler, No. 49, it says about a model couple, Amanda and Florio, that “their joys are doubled, their sorrows reduced, by sharing.”
Of the buccaneering adventurer described in Rokeby, Sir Walter Scott says:—
Of the daring adventurer described in Rokeby, Sir Walter Scott says:—
Sir Walter Raleigh, in a letter to his wife on the eve, as he supposed, of his execution, speaks of himself as “one who, in his own respect, despiseth death in all his misshapen and ugly forms.”
Sir Walter Raleigh, in a letter to his wife on what he thought was the night before his execution, describes himself as “someone who, for his own sake, despises death in all its twisted and ugly forms.”
Speaking of Burke, Goldsmith says in his Retaliation:—
Speaking of Burke, Goldsmith says in his Retaliation:—
Pope, in his Last Letter to the Bishop of Rochester, (Atterbury,) said:—
Pope, in his Last Letter to the Bishop of Rochester, (Atterbury,) said:—
At this time, when you are cut off from a little society and made a citizen of the world at large, you should bend your talents, not to serve a party or a few, but all mankind.
At this moment, when you're disconnected from a small community and become a member of the larger world, you should focus your abilities not on serving a specific group or a few individuals, but instead for the benefit of all humanity.
Nous no jouissons jamais; nous espérons toujours.—Massillon, Sermon pour le Jour de St. Benoit.
We never enjoy; we only hope.—Massillon, Sermon pour le Jour de St. Benoit.
The jocular saying of Douglas Jerrold, that a wife of forty should, like a bank-note, be exchangeable for two of twenty, was anticipated by Byron:—
The humorous saying by Douglas Jerrold, that a wife at forty should, like a banknote, be worth two who are twenty, was predicted by Byron:—
And still earlier by Gay in Equivocation. In the colloquy between a bishop and an abbot, the bishop advises:—
And still earlier by LGBTQ+ in Equivocation. In the conversation between a bishop and an abbot, the bishop suggests:—
Many readers will remember the lines by Burns, commencing:—
Many readers will recall the lines by Burnout, starting with:—
The turn of thought in this stanza bears a striking resemblance to the concluding lines of Ode cxi., of M. A. Flaminius. The following translation is close enough to point the resemblance:—
The change in ideas in this stanza closely mirrors the final lines of Ode cxi., by M.A. Flaminius. The translation below is accurate enough to highlight this similarity:—
Moore says:—
Moore says:—
Howell in the Epistolæ Ho-Elianæ says:—
Howell in the Ho-Elian Letters says:—
Alexander subdued the world—Cæsar his enemies—Hercules monsters—but he that overcomes himself is the true valiant captain.
Alexander conquered the world—Cæsar defeated his enemies—Hercules took down monsters—but the one who conquers himself is the true brave leader.
Brutus says, in Shakspeare’s Julius Cæsar, iv., 3:—
Brutus says, in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, iv., 3:—
In Bacon’s Advancement of Learning, B. 2, occurs this passage:—
In Bacon's Advancement of Learning, B. 2, there's this passage:—
In the third place, I set down reputation, because of the peremptory tides and currents it hath, which, if they be not taken in due time, are seldom recovered, it being extreme hard to play an after game of reputation.
In the third place, I note reputation, because of the strong tides and currents it has, which, if not addressed in a timely manner, are rarely regained, making it extremely difficult to make up for lost reputation.
King Henry says, in Shakspeare’s 2 Hen. VI., i. 1:—
King Henry says, in Shakespeare’s 2 Hen. VI., i. 1:—
George Herbert says:—
George Herbert says:—
Vitruvius says:—There are various kinds of timber, as there are various kinds of flesh; one of men, one of fishes, one of beasts, and another of birds.
Vitruvius says:—There are different types of wood, just like there are different types of flesh; one for humans, one for fish, one for animals, and one for birds.
St. Paul says:—All flesh is not the same flesh, &c., I Cor. xv. 39.
St. Paul says:—Not all bodies are the same, etc., I Cor. xv. 39.
664In Coventry Patmore’s delicately beautiful poem, The Angel in the House, twice occurs the line,—
664In Coventry Patmore's beautifully crafted poem, The Angel in the House, the line appears twice,—
“An exquisite line,” says The Critic: “who could have believed that the ugly and often unjust word vanity could ever be melted down into so true and pretty and flattering a periphrasis?” Thackeray uses the same idea:—
“An exquisite line,” says The Critic: “who would have thought that the harsh and often unfair word vanity could be transformed into such a genuine, beautiful, and flattering expression?” Thackeray uses the same idea:—
A fair young creature, bright and blooming yesterday, distributing smiles, levying homage, inspiring desire, conscious of her power to charm, and gay with the natural enjoyments of her conquests—who, in his walk through the world, has not looked on many such a one? The Newcomes.
A fair young being, vibrant and flourishing yesterday, sharing smiles, commanding admiration, sparking desire, aware of her ability to enchant, and joyful with the simple pleasures of her victories—who, in their journey through life, hasn’t encountered many like her? The Newcomes.
Magis gauderes quod habueras [amicum], quam mœreres quod amiseras.
It’s better to be happy about having [a friend] than to be sad about losing one.
The familiar epitaphic line,
The well-known epitaph line,
finds a parallel in Shakspeare’s Venus and Adonis:—
finds a parallel in Shakespeare's Venus and Adonis:—
Look at the chicken by the side of yonder pond, and let it rebuke your ingratitude. It drinks, and every sip it takes it lifts its head to heaven and thanks the giver of the rain for the drink afforded to it; while thou eatest and drinkest, and there is no blessing pronounced at thy meals and no thanksgiving bestowed upon thy Father for his bounty.
Look at the chicken by the side of that pond, and let it remind you of your ingratitude. It drinks, and with each sip, it lifts its head to heaven to thank the giver of the rain for the water it receives; while you eat and drink, and there’s no blessing said at your meals and no thanks given to your Father for his generosity.
Toplady has bequeathed to us the beautiful hymn:—
Toplady has given us the beautiful hymn:—
But Daniel Brevint in The Christian Sacrament and Sacrifice, (1673) had made this devout and solemn aspiration:—
But Daniel Brevint in The Christian Sacrament and Sacrifice, (1673) had made this devout and solemn aspiration:—
O Rock of Israel, Rock of Salvation, Rock struck and cleft for me, let those two streams of blood and water, which once gushed out of thy side ... bring down with them salvation and holiness into my soul.
O Rock of Israel, Rock of Salvation, Rock that was struck and split for me, let those two streams of blood and water, which once flowed from your side... bring with them salvation and holiness into my soul.
She (the Roman Catholic Church) may still exist in undiminished vigor when some traveler from New Zealand shall, in the midst of a vast Solitude, take his stand on a broken arch of London Bridge to sketch the ruins of St. Paul’s. Macaulay, Ranke’s History of the Popes.
She (the Roman Catholic Church) may still be thriving when a traveler from New Zealand stands on a crumbling arch of London Bridge, sketching the ruins of St. Paul’s in the middle of great solitude. Macaulay, Ranke’s History of the Popes.
The next Augustan age will dawn on the other side of the Atlantic. There will perhaps be a Thucydides at Boston, a Xenophon at New York, and, in time, a Virgil at Mexico, and a Newton at Peru. At last some curious traveler from Lima will visit England, and give a description of the ruins of St. Paul’s, like the editions of Baalbec and Palmyra:—but am I not prophesying contrary to my consummate prudence, and casting horoscopes of empires like Rousseau?
The next Augustan age will begin on the other side of the Atlantic. There might be a Thucydides in Boston, a Xenophon in New York, and eventually a Virgil in Mexico and a Newton in Peru. Finally, some curious traveler from Lima will come to England and describe the ruins of St. Paul’s, similar to the accounts of Baalbec and Palmyra. But am I not being reckless and making predictions about empires like Rousseau?
666Readers of Don Juan sometimes descant with rapture on the beauty of the lines (c. i. v. 123),—
666Readers of Don Juan sometimes rave about the beauty of the lines (c. i. v. 123),—
The epithet deep-mouthed, as applied to the bark, being especially designated as “fine.” And fine it is, but Byron found it in Shakspeare and in Goldsmith:—
The term deep-mouthed used to describe the bark is specifically labeled as “fine.” And it really is fine, but Byron discovered it in Shakespeare and in Goldsmiths:—
The laborers of the day were all retired to rest; the lights were out in every cottage; no sounds were heard but of the shrilling cock, and the deep-mouthed watch-dog at hollow distance.
The workers of the day had all gone to bed; the lights were off in every home; the only sounds heard were the crowing rooster and the distant barking of a watchdog.
“Your sermon,” said a great critic to a great preacher, “was very fine; but had it been only half the length, it would have produced twice the impression.” “You are quite right,” was the reply; “but the fact is, I received but sudden notice to preach, and therefore I had not the time to make my sermon short.”
“Your sermon,” said a great critic to a great preacher, “was very good; but if it had been half as long, it would have made twice the impact.” “You’re absolutely right,” the preacher replied; “but the truth is, I only got short notice to preach, so I didn’t have the time to make my sermon short.”
Voltaire apologized for writing a long letter on the ground that he had not time to condense. In these cases the idea is borrowed from classical literature. Pliny says in his Letters (lib. i. ep. xx.):—
Voltaire apologized for writing a long letter, explaining that he didn't have time to shorten it. In these situations, the idea comes from classical literature. Pliny the Elder states in his Letters (lib. i. ep. xx.):—
Ex his apparet illum permulta dixisse; quum ederet, omisisse; ... ne dubitare possimus, quæ per plures dies, ut necesse erat, latius dixerit, postea recisa ac purgata in unum librum, grandem quidem, unum tamen, coarctasse.
From this, it is clear that he said a lot; when he published it, he left some things out; ... so we can't doubt that over several days, as needed, he spoke more extensively, which he later edited down and compiled into a single book, which is indeed large, but still just one.
(From this it is evident that he said very much; but, when he was publishing, he omitted much: ... so that we may not doubt that what he said more diffusely, as he was at the time forced to do, having afterwards retrenched and corrected, he condensed into one single book.)
(From this, it's clear that he said a lot; however, when he published, he left out a lot: ... so we shouldn’t doubt that what he said in more detail, as he had to at the time, was later trimmed and refined, ultimately condensed into one single book.)
The condensation and revision required more time and thought than the first production.
The condensation and revision took more time and thought than the initial production.
667Campbell says in O’Connor’s Child,—
Campbell says in O’Connor’s Child,—
And again, Lines on leaving a Scene in Bavaria,—
And again, Lines on leaving a Scene in Bavaria,—
And Walter Scott likewise imitates himself thus:—
And Walter Scott also imitates himself like this:—
In Rob Roy, Sir Walter makes Frank Osbaldistone say in his elegy on Edward the Black Prince,—
In Rob Roy, Sir Walter has Frank Osbaldistone express in his tribute to Edward the Black Prince,—
And in Marmion, toward the close of Canto Sixth, he says:—
And in Marmion, toward the end of Canto Sixth, he says:—
When this inadvertent or unconscious coincidence in the poem and the novel was pointed out to Sir Walter, he replied, with his natural expression of comic gravity, “Ah! that was very careless of me. I did not think I should have committed such a blunder.”
When someone pointed out this accidental or unintentional similarity between the poem and the novel to Sir Walter, he responded, with his usual serious yet funny demeanor, “Ah! that was very careless of me. I didn’t think I would make such a mistake.”
“I tread on the pride of Plato,” said Diogenes, as he walked over Plato’s carpet. “Yes, and with more pride,” said Plato.—Cecil, Remains.
“I’m stepping on Plato’s pride,” said Diogenes, as he walked over Plato’s carpet. “Yes, and with even more pride,” replied Plato.—Cecil, Remains.
Diogenes I hold to be the most vainglorious man of his time, and more ambitious in refusing all honors than Alexander in rejecting none.
Diogenes is, in my opinion, the most boastful man of his time, and he is more determined in turning down all accolades than Alexander is in accepting any.
668There is an Italian proverb used, in the extravagance of flattery, to compliment a handsome lady, expressive of this idea:—“When nature made thee, she broke the mould.” Byron uses it in the closing lines of his monody on the death of Sheridan:—
668There's an Italian saying that's often used in over-the-top flattery to praise a beautiful woman, conveying this idea:—“When nature created you, she broke the mold.” Byron uses it in the final lines of his elegy on Sheridan's death:—
Shakspeare also says, in the second stanza of Venus and Adonis,—
Shakespeare also says, in the second stanza of Venus and Adonis,—
This saying, commonly ascribed to Napoleon, was borrowed by him from Tom Paine, whose works were translated into French in 1791, and who says,—
This saying, often attributed to Napoleon Bonaparte, was taken by him from Thomas Paine, whose works were translated into French in 1791, and he says,—
The sublime and the ridiculous are often so nearly related that it is difficult to class them separately. One step above the sublime makes the ridiculous, and one step above the ridiculous makes the sublime again.
The sublime and the ridiculous are often so closely related that it's hard to categorize them separately. One step above the sublime becomes the ridiculous, and one step above the ridiculous becomes the sublime again.
Tom Paine, in turn, adopted the idea from Hugh Blair, who says, in one place,—
Tom Paine, in turn, took the idea from Hugh Blair, who states, in one instance,—
It is indeed extremely difficult to hit the precise point where true wit ends and buffoonery begins.
It's really hard to pinpoint exactly where true wit ends and foolishness starts.
In another,—
In another, —
It frequently happens that where the second line is sublime, the third, in which he meant to rise still higher, is perfect bombast.
It often happens that while the second line is amazing, the third, where he intended to go even higher, is just over-the-top.
Finally, Blair borrowed the saying from Longinus, a celebrated Greek critic and rhetorical writer, who, in a Treatise On the Sublime, uses the same expression, with this slight modification, that he makes the transition a gradual one, while Blair, Paine, and Napoleon make it but a step.[35]
Finally, Blair took a phrase from Longinus, a famous Greek critic and rhetorical writer, who, in a treatise On the Sublime, uses the same expression but with a slight twist, making the transition gradual, while Blair, Paine, and Napoleon treat it as just a quick step.[35]
669Evil communications corrupt good manners.—1 Cor. xv. 33.
669Bad company corrupts good character.—1 Cor. xv. 33.
φθείρουσιν ἤθη χρησθ’ ὁμιλίαι κακαί.—Menander.
Bad company corrupts good character. — Menander.
Bonos corrumpunt mores congressus mali.—Tertullian: Ad Uxorem.
Bad influences corrupt good character.—Tertullian: Ad Uxorem.
He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.—Eccl. i. 18.
He who gains knowledge also increases his sorrow.—Eccl. i. 18.
A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.—Bacon: On Atheism.
A little philosophy tends to lead a person's mind toward atheism, but a deeper understanding of philosophy brings people back to religion.—Bacon: On Atheism.
In Paradise Lost, Book V. 601, we find the expression—
In Paradise Lost, Book V. 601, we find the expression—
and in Book I. 261, this powerful passage put in the mouth of Satan:—
and in Book I. 261, this powerful passage spoken by Satan:—
In Stafford’s Niobe, printed when Milton was in his cradle, (1611,) is the following:—
In Stafford's Niobe, published when Milton was an infant, (1611,) is the following:—
True it is, sir, (said the Devil,) that I, storming at the name of supremacy, sought to depose my Creator; which the watchful, all-seeing eye of Providence finding, degraded me of my angelic dignities—dispossessed me of all pleasures; and the seraphs and cherubs, the Throne, Dominations, Virtues, Powers, Princedoms, Arch Angels, and all the Celestial Hierarchy, with a shout of applause, sung my departure out of Heaven. My alleluia was turned into an eheu. Now, forasmuch as I was an Angel of Light, it was the will of Wisdom to confine me to Darkness and make me Prince thereof. So that I, that could not obey in Heaven, might command in Hell; and, believe me, I had rather rule within my dark domain than to re-inhabit Cœlum empyream, and there live in subjection under check, a slave of the Most High.
"That's true, sir," said the Devil, "I, furious at the idea of being second to anyone, tried to overthrow my Creator. The watchful, all-seeing eye of Providence saw this and stripped me of my angelic status—took away all my pleasures; and the seraphs and cherubs, the Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels, and the whole Celestial Hierarchy, cheered as I was expelled from Heaven. My song of praise turned into a cry of despair. Now, since I was once an Angel of Light, it was the will of Wisdom to cast me into Darkness and make me its Prince. So that I, who could not obey in Heaven, could rule in Hell; and believe me, I'd rather govern my dark realm than return to the Empyrean Heaven and live there in subjection, a slave to the Most High."
Cæsar said he would rather be the first man in a village than the second man in Rome.
Cæsar said he would rather be the top person in a village than the second person in Rome.
A fellow-feeling makes one wondrous kind.—Garrick.
A sense of empathy makes people wonderfully kind.—Garrick.
I would help others out of a fellow-feeling.—Burton: Anat. of Mel.
I would help others because I can relate to them.—Burton: Anat. of Mel.
And learn the luxury of doing good.—Goldsmith: Traveller.
And discover the joy of doing good.—Goldsmiths: Traveller.
For all their luxury was doing good.—Garth: Claremont.
For all their luxury, they were doing good.—Garth: Claremont.
He tried the luxury of doing good.—Crabbe: Tales.
He experienced the pleasure of doing good.—Crabbe: Tales.
Tar water is of a nature so mild and benign, and proportioned to the human constitution, as to warm without heating, to cheer but not inebriate,—Bishop Berkeley: Siris.
Tar water is so mild and gentle in nature, and fits well with the human body, that it warms without overheating, brings cheer without causing drunkenness,—Bishop Berkeley: Siris.
None knew thee but to love thee.—Halleck: On Drake.
None knew you but to love you.—Halleck: On Drake.
To know her was to love her.—Rogers: Jacqueline.
To know her was to love her.—Rogers: Jacqueline.
(Let the dead be concealed in the earth, whence each one came forth into being, to return thence again—the spirit to the SPIRIT’S SOURCE, but the body to the EARTH.)
(Let the dead rest in the ground, where they first came from and will return—the spirit to the Source of Spirit, and the body to the Earth.)
The resemblance between the above and the beautiful expression in the “Preacher’s” homily is very remarkable:—
The similarity between the above and the beautiful expression in the "Preacher's" sermon is quite striking:—
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was, and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.—Eccles. xii. 7.
Then the dust will return to the earth as it was, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.—Eccles. xii. 7.
(Things of a day! What is any one? What is he not? Men are the dream of a shadow.)
(Things of a day! What is anyone? What are they not? People are the dream of a shadow.)
The term brown, applied to the evening shade, is derived from the Italian, the expression “fa l’imbruno” being commonly used in Italy to denote the approach of evening.
The term brown, used to describe the evening shade, comes from Italian, where the phrase “in the twilight” is commonly used to indicate that evening is approaching.
Poets are the hierophants of an unapprehended inspiration; the mirrors of the gigantic shadows which futurity casts upon the present.—Shelley: Defence of Poetry.
Poets are the interpreters of a mysterious inspiration; the reflections of the massive shadows that the future casts on the present.—Shelly: Defence of Poetry.
A similar form of expression occurs in Paul’s Epistle to the Hebrews, x. 1.
A similar way of expressing this is found in Paul’s Epistle to the Hebrews, x. 1.
Stolen from a line in an obscure poem called the Sentimental Sailor:—
Stolen from a line in an unknown poem titled the Sentimental Sailor:—
In the Fragments attributed to Ossian by Baron de Harold, Fingal paints the following beautiful word-picture:—
In the Fragments attributed to Ossian by Baron de Harold, Fingal creates the following beautiful imagery:—
I have seen the walls of Balclutha, but they are desolate: the flames had resounded in the halls, and the voice of the people is heard no more; the stream of Cutha was removed from its place by the fall of the walls; the thistle shoots there its lowly head; the moss whistled to the winds; the fox looked out of the windows, and the rank grass of the walls waved round his head; desolate is the dwelling of Morna: silence is in the house of her fathers.
I’ve seen the walls of Balclutha, but they’re empty: the flames echoed in the halls, and the people’s voices are gone; the stream of Cutha lost its place when the walls fell; the thistle grows there with its lowly head; the moss rustled in the wind; the fox peered out of the windows, and the thick grass around the walls waved above him; Morna’s home is desolate: silence fills her family’s house.
And again:—
And again:—
The dreary night owl screams in the solitary retreat of his mouldering ivy-covered tower.—Larnul, the Song of Despair.
The gloomy night owl shrieks in the lonely sanctuary of his decaying ivy-clad tower.—Larnul, the Song of Despair.
672The Persian poet quoted by Gibbon also says,—
672The Persian poet quoted by Gibbon also says,—
The spider hath hung with tapestry the palace of the Cæsars; the owl singeth her sentinel-song in the watch-towers of Afrasiab.—Firdousi.
The spider has decorated the palace of the Caesars with its web; the owl sings her watchful song in the towers of Afrasiab.—Ferdowsi.
Drawing near her death, she sent most pious thoughts as harbingers to heaven; and her soul saw a glimpse of happiness through the chinks of her sickness-broken body.—Fuller.
As she approached her death, she sent out her most devout thoughts as messengers to heaven; and her soul caught a glimpse of happiness through the cracks of her body weakened by illness.—Fuller.
The great German poet was evidently familiar with Horace:—
The great German poet clearly knew Horace:—
The resemblance of these lines to the following passage from Milton’s Second Defence of the People of England is so striking that we are inclined to regard them as a paraphrase:—
The similarity of these lines to the following excerpt from Milton's Second Defence of the People of England is so striking that we tend to see them as a paraphrase:—
Let me then be the most feeble creature alive, so long as that feebleness serves to invigorate the energies of my rational and immortal spirit, so long as in that obscurity in which I am enveloped the light of Divine Presence more clearly shines. Then in proportion as I am weak, I shall be invincibly strong; and in proportion as I am blind, I shall more clearly see. Oh that I may thus be perfected by feebleness, and irradiated by obscurity! And indeed in my blindness I enjoy in no inconsiderable degree the favor of the Deity, who regards me with more tenderness and compassion in proportion as I am able to behold nothing but himself. Alas for him who insults me, who maligns and merits public execration! For the divine law not only shields me from injury, but almost renders me too sacred to attack,—not indeed so much from the privation of my sight, as from the overshadowing of those heavenly wings which seem to have occasioned this obscurity, and which, when occasioned, he is wont to illuminate with an interior light more precious and more pure.
Let me be the weakest creature alive as long as that weakness helps strengthen my rational and immortal spirit, and as long as in the darkness that surrounds me, the light of Divine Presence shines more clearly. So, the weaker I am, the stronger I will be; and the more blind I am, the clearer my vision will become. Oh, may I be perfected by my weakness and enlightened by my obscurity! In fact, in my blindness, I find a significant measure of favor from God, who looks upon me with more tenderness and compassion the less I can see anything but Him. Woe to anyone who insults me, who slanders me and deserves public condemnation! For divine law not only protects me from harm but also makes me nearly too sacred to attack—not just because of my lack of sight, but because of the heavenly wings that cast this shadow and which He often illuminates with an inner light that is more precious and pure.
In Keble’s lines for “St. John’s Day” occurs this stanza:—
In Keble's lines for “St. John’s Day” there's this stanza:—
The first four lines resemble a stanza of Wither, one of the Roundhead poets (1632):—
The first four lines are similar to a stanza from Fade away, one of the Roundhead poets (1632):—
And the last two lines recall Robert Burns, who had said in his song commencing Contented wi little, and cantie wi mair:—
And the last two lines remind us of Robert Burns, who said in his song that starts with Contented wi little, and cantie wi mair:—
Two centuries before Burns, Tasso said in his Gerusalemme Liberata (iii. 4):—
Two centuries before Burns, Tasso said in his Liberated Jerusalem (iii. 4):—
Or as Fairfax renders it:—
Or as Fairfax puts it:—
And before dismissing “the billows past,” it is worth while to quote the following passage from Spenser’s Faery Queene (I. 9. 40):—
And before brushing aside “the billows past,” it's worth quoting the following passage from Spenser's Faery Queene (I. 9. 40):—
Lucretius says:—
Lucretius says:—
(No longer shall thy joyous home receive thee, nor yet thy best of wives, nor shall thy sweet children run to be the first to snatch thy kisses and thrill thy breast with silent delight.)
(No longer will your joyful home welcome you, nor your beloved wife, nor will your sweet children rush to be the first to steal your kisses and fill your heart with silent joy.)
675Compare Gray’s Elegy:—
Compare Gray's Elegy:—
And Thomson’s Seasons (Winter):—
And Thomson’s Seasons (Winter):—
The famous speech of Wolsey after his fall—
The famous speech of Wolsey after his downfall—
finds a counterpart in a satire of the Persian poet Ferdousi on the Arabian impostor:—
finds a counterpart in a satire of the Persian poet Ferdowsi on the Arabian fraud:—
Had I but written as many verses in praise of Mahomet and Allah, they would have showered a hundred blessings on me.
Had I just written as many verses in praise of Muhammad and God, they would have blessed me a hundred times.
It also finds a parallel in a passage from Ockley’s History of the Saracens—AN. Hegira 54, A. D. 673—
It also finds a parallel in a passage from Ockley’s History of the Saracens—AN. Hegira 54, A. D. 673—
This year Moawiyah deposed Samrah, deputy over Basorah. As soon as Samrah heard this news, he said—“God curse Moawiyah. If I had served God so well as I have served him, he would never have damned me to all eternity.”
This year, Moawiyah removed Samrah from his position as deputy over Basorah. As soon as Samrah heard the news, he said—“God curse Moawiyah. If I had served God as well as I have served him, he would never have condemned me to all eternity.”
Socrates said to some Sophists, who pretended to know everything, “As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.”
Socrates said to some Sophists, who acted like they knew everything, “As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.”
Owen Feltham, in his Resolves (Curiosity in Knowledge) remarks:—
Owen Feltham, in his Resolves (Curiosity in Knowledge) notes:—
Our knowledge doth but show us our ignorance. Our most studious scrutiny is but a discovery of what we cannot know.
Our knowledge only reveals our ignorance. Our deepest exploration is just an uncovering of what we can’t know.
Voltaire, in the Histoire d’un bon Bramin says:—
Voltaire, in the Histoire d’un bon Bramin says:—
Le Bramin me dit un jour: Je voudrais n’être jamais né. Je lui demandai pourquoi. Il me répondit: J’étudie depuis quarante ans; ce sont quarante années de perdues; j’enseigne les autres, et j’ignore tout.
One day the Brahmin said to me: I wish I had never been born. I asked him why. He replied: I have been studying for forty years; those have been forty wasted years; I teach others, and I know nothing.
These lines will remind the reader of the opening soliloquy of Faust in Goethe’s immortal tragedy. Bayard Taylor’s translation commences as follows:—
These lines will remind the reader of the opening soliloquy of Faust in Goethe's timeless tragedy. Bayard Taylor’s translation begins as follows:—
In The Last Days of Pompeii (ch. v.) Glaucus, the Athenian, is made to say:—
In The Last Days of Pompeii (ch. v.) Glaucus, the Athenian, says:—
“I am as one who is left alone at a banquet, the lights dead, and the flowers faded.”
“I feel like someone who's left alone at a party, the lights out, and the flowers wilted.”
Of course, Bulwer Lytton was familiar with Oft in the Stilly Night, which Moore had written twenty years before:—
Of course, Bulwer-Lytton was familiar with Oft in the Stilly Night, which Moore had written twenty years earlier:—
677Dr. Johnson said that “no one does anything for the last time (knowingly) but with regret.”
677Dr. Johnson said that “no one does anything for the last time (knowingly) without feeling regret.”
In Bishop Hall’s Holy Observations (xxvij) is this passage:—
In Bishop Hall's Holy Observations (27) is this passage:—
“Nothing is more absurd than that Epicurean resolution, ‘Let us eat and drink, to-morrow we die’; as if we were made only for the paunch, and lived that we might live. Yet has there never any natural man found savour in that meat which he knew should be his last; whereas they should say: Let us fast and pray, for to-morrow we shall die.”
“Nothing is more ridiculous than that Epicurean idea, ‘Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die’; as if we were made just for our stomachs and lived only to satisfy our hunger. Yet no natural person has ever found pleasure in food that they knew would be their last; instead, they should say: Let us fast and pray, for tomorrow we will die.”
SHAKSPEREAN RESEMBLANCES.
BOLD PLAGIARISM.
Charles Reade, in The Wandering Heir reproduces Swift’s Journal of a Modern Lady in a singular manner. Compare them. Reade says:—
Charles Reade, in The Wandering Heir, uniquely reflects Swift’s Journal of a Modern Lady. Compare them. Reade says:—
“Mistress Anne Gregory held bad cards; she had to pawn ring after ring—for these ladies, being well acquainted with each other, never played on parole—and she kept bemoaning her bad luck. ‘Betty, I knew how ’twould be. The parson called to-day. This odious chair, why will you stick me in it? Stand farther, girl, I always lose when you look on.’ Mrs. Betty tossed her head, and went behind another lady. Miss Gregory still lost, and had to pawn her snuff box to Lady Dace. She consoled herself by an insinuation: ‘My Lady you touched your wedding-ring. That was a sign to your partner here.’
“Ms. Anne Gregory had terrible luck; she had to pawn ring after ring—since these ladies knew each other well, they never played on trust—and she kept complaining about her misfortune. ‘Betty, I knew it would turn out like this. The parson came by today. This awful chair, why do you keep putting me in it? Step back, girl, I always lose when you’re watching.’ Mrs. Betty flipped her head and moved behind another lady. Miss Gregory kept losing and ended up pawning her snuff box to Lady Dace. She tried to console herself with a suggestion: ‘My Lady, you touched your wedding ring. That was a signal to your partner here.’”
“’Nay Madam, ’twas but a sign my finger itched. But, if you go to that, you spoke a word began with H. Then she knew you had the king of hearts.’
“’No, Madam, it was just a sign that my finger itched. But if you want to go there, you said a word that started with H. Then she knew you had the king of hearts.’”
678“‘That is like Miss here,’ said another matron; ‘she rubs her chair when she hath matadore in hand.’
678“‘That’s just like Miss here,’ said another matron; ‘she polishes her chair when she has a matador in hand.’”
“‘Set a thief to catch a thief, Madam,’ was Miss’s ingenious and polished reply.
“‘Set a thief to catch a thief, ma'am,’ was Miss's clever and refined response.
“‘Heyday!’ cries one, ‘Here spadillo got a mark on the back; a child might know it in the dark. Mistress Pigot, I wish you’d be pleased to pare your nails.’
“‘Wow!’ shouts one, ‘Here spadillo has a mark on the back; a kid could recognize it in the dark. Mistress Pigot, I wish you’d be kind enough to trim your nails.’”
“In short, they said things to each other all night, the slightest of which, among men, would have filled Phœnix Park next morning with drawn swords; but it went for little here; they were all cheats, and knew it, and knew the others knew it, and didn’t care.
“In short, they talked to each other all night, and even the smallest comment among men would have caused a showdown in Phœnix Park the next morning; but here it meant nothing; they were all dishonest, and they knew it, and they knew that the others knew it, and didn’t care.”
“It was four o’clock before they broke up, huddled on their cloaks and hoods, and their chairs took them home with cold feet and aching heads.”
“It was four o’clock when they finally broke up, bundled up in their cloaks and hoods, and their chairs took them home with cold feet and pounding heads.”
Swift says:—
Swift says:—
HISTORICAL SIMILITUDES.
In Motley’s Rise of the Dutch Republic is narrated the following incident:—
In Motley’s Rise of the Dutch Republic, the following incident is recounted:—
A bishop’s indiscretion, however, neutralized the apostolic blows of the major (Charles the Hammer). The pagan Radbod had already immersed one of his royal legs in the baptismal font when a thought struck him. “Where are my dead forefathers at present?” he said, turning suddenly upon Bishop Wolfrau. “In hell, with all other unbelievers,” was the imprudent answer. “Mighty well,” replied Radbod, removing his leg; “then will I rather feast with my ancestors in the halls of Woden than dwell with your little starveling band of Christians in heaven.” Entreaties and threats were unavailing. The Frisian declined positively a rite which was to cause an eternal separation from his buried kindred, and he died as he had lived, a heathen.
A bishop’s mistake, however, undermined the apostolic efforts of the major (Charles the Hammer). The pagan Radbod had already dipped one of his royal legs in the baptismal font when a thought hit him. “Where are my dead ancestors right now?” he asked, suddenly turning to Bishop Wolfrau. “In hell, with all other unbelievers,” was the careless response. “Very well,” replied Radbod, pulling his leg back; “I would rather feast with my ancestors in the halls of Woden than live with your small, starving group of Christians in heaven.” Pleas and threats were useless. The Frisian firmly rejected a rite that would mean an eternal separation from his buried kin, and he died as he had lived, a pagan.
Kingsley, in his Hypatia, in completing the history of the Goth Wulf, after his settlement in Spain, writes as follows:—
Kingsley, in his Hypatia, while wrapping up the history of the Goth Wulf after he settled in Spain, says the following:—
Wulf died as he had lived, a heathen. Placidia, who loved him well—as she loved all righteous and noble souls—had succeeded once in persuading him to accept baptism. Adolf himself acted as one of his sponsors; and the old warrior was in the act of stepping into the font, when he turned suddenly to the bishop and asked, “Where were the souls of his heathen ancestors?” “In hell,” replied the worthy prelate. Wulf drew back from the font, and threw his bear-skin cloak around him.... He would prefer, if Adolf had no objection, to go to his own people. And so he died unbaptized, and went to his own.
Wulf died the same way he lived, a pagan. Placidia, who cared for him deeply—as she did for all righteous and noble souls—had once convinced him to agree to baptism. Adolf himself was one of his sponsors; and as the old warrior was about to step into the baptismal font, he suddenly turned to the bishop and asked, “What about the souls of his pagan ancestors?” “In hell,” replied the bishop. Wulf stepped back from the font and wrapped his bear-skin cloak around himself.... He would rather, if Adolf had no objections, go to his own people. And so he died unbaptized and went to join them.
680This has suggested the query whether Mr. Kingsley uses his privilege as a novelist to make a distant historical event subserve the purposes of fiction, or whether this curious incident occurred.
680This raises the question of whether Mr. Kingsley takes advantage of his privilege as a novelist to bend a distant historical event to fit the needs of his fiction, or if this strange incident actually happened.
But Francis Parkman in his Jesuits in North America in the Seventeenth Century, notes a corresponding unwillingness on the part of the Indians to separate from their own kindred and people:—
But Francis Parkman in his Jesuits in North America in the Seventeenth Century, notes a similar reluctance among the Indians to separate from their own relatives and communities:—
The body cared for, he next addressed himself to the soul. “This life is short and very miserable. It matters little whether we live or die.” The patient remained silent, or grumbled his dissent. The Jesuit, after enlarging for a time in broken Huron on the brevity and nothingness of mortal weal or woe, passed next to the joys of heaven and the pains of hell, which he set forth with his best rhetoric. His pictures of infernal fires and torturing devils were readily comprehended, if the listener had consciousness enough to comprehend anything; but with respect to the advantages of the French paradise he was slow of conviction. “I wish to go where my relations and ancestors have gone,” was a common reply. “Heaven is a good place for Frenchmen,” said another; “but I wish to be among Indians, for the French will give me nothing to eat when I get there.” Often the patient was stolidly silent; sometimes he was hopelessly perverse and contradictory. Again nature triumphed over grace. “Which will you choose,” demanded the priest of a dying woman, “heaven or hell?” “Hell, if my children are there, as you say,” returned the mother. “Do they hunt in heaven, or make war, or go to feasts?” asked an anxious inquirer. “Oh, no!” replied the father. “Then,” returned the querist, “I will not go. It is not good to be lazy.” But above all other obstacles was the dread of starvation in the regions of the blest. Nor when the dying Indian had been induced at last to express a desire for Paradise was it an easy matter to bring him to a due contrition for his sins; for he would deny with indignation that he had ever committed any. When at 681length, as sometimes happened, all these difficulties gave way, and the patient had been brought to what seemed to his instructor a fitting frame for baptism, the priest, with contentment at his heart, brought water in a cup or in the hollow of his hand, touched his forehead with the mystic drop, and snatched him from an eternity of woe. But the convert, even after his baptism, did not always manifest a satisfactory spiritual condition. “Why did you baptize that Iroquois?” asked one of the dying neophytes, speaking of the prisoner recently tortured; “he will get to heaven before us, and, when he sees us coming, he will drive us out.”
The body taken care of, he then turned his attention to the soul. “This life is short and really miserable. It doesn’t matter much whether we live or die.” The patient stayed quiet or complained about it. The Jesuit, after elaborating for a while in broken Huron on how fleeting and insignificant human joy or suffering is, moved on to the joys of heaven and the torments of hell, which he presented with his best rhetoric. His vivid descriptions of hell's fires and torturing demons were easily understood, if the listener had enough awareness to grasp anything; however, he was slow to convince them of the benefits of the French paradise. “I want to go where my family and ancestors have gone,” was a common response. “Heaven is a great place for French people,” said another; “but I want to be with the Indians because the French won’t give me anything to eat when I get there.” Often the patient was unresponsive; sometimes he was desperately stubborn and contradictory. Again, nature won over grace. “Which will you choose,” asked the priest of a dying woman, “heaven or hell?” “Hell, if my children are there, as you say,” the mother replied. “Do they hunt in heaven, or go to war, or feast?” asked an anxious questioner. “Oh, no!” said the father. “Then,” the questioner replied, “I won’t go. It’s not good to be lazy.” But the greatest hurdle was the fear of starving in the blessed lands. Even when the dying Indian was finally persuaded to express a desire for Paradise, it was not easy to lead him to genuine remorse for his sins; he would indignantly deny having committed any. When at last, as occasionally happened, all these challenges were overcome and the patient seemed ready for baptism, the priest, pleased at heart, brought water in a cup or in his palm, touched the man's forehead with the sacred drop, and saved him from an eternity of suffering. But even after his baptism, the convert didn’t always show a satisfactory spiritual state. “Why did you baptize that Iroquois?” asked one of the dying neophytes, referring to the tortured prisoner; “he’ll get to heaven before us, and when he sees us coming, he’ll push us out.”
HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.
Herodotus tells us (Book III. 118) that after the conspirator Intaphernes and his family had been imprisoned and held for execution by order of Darius, the wife of the condemned man constantly presented herself before the royal palace exhibiting every demonstration of grief. As she regularly continued this conduct, her frequent appearance at length excited the compassion of Darius, who thus addressed her by a messenger: “Woman, King Darius offers you the liberty of any individual of your family whom you may most desire to preserve.” After some deliberation with herself she made this reply: “If the king will grant me the life of any one of my family, I choose my brother in preference to the rest.” Her determination greatly astonished the king; he sent to her therefore a second message to this effect: “The king desires to know why you have thought proper to pass over your children and your husband, and to preserve your brother, who is certainly a more remote connection than your children, and cannot be so dear to you as your husband.” She answered: “O king! if it please the deity, I may have another husband; and if I be deprived of these I may have other children; but as my parents are both dead, it is certain that I can have no other brother.” The answer appeared to Darius very judicious; indeed he was so well pleased with it 682that he not only gave the woman the life of her brother, but also pardoned her eldest son.
Herodotus tells us (Book III. 118) that after the conspirator Intaphernes and his family were imprisoned and sentenced to death by Darius, the wife of the condemned man continually showed up at the royal palace, expressing her deep sorrow. As she kept this up, her frequent presence eventually moved Darius, who sent her a message saying: “Woman, King Darius offers you the freedom of any member of your family whom you wish to save.” After thinking it over, she responded: “If the king will grant me the life of any one of my family, I choose my brother over the rest.” Her choice surprised the king greatly; he then sent her another message asking: “The king wants to know why you chose to bypass your children and your husband to save your brother, who is certainly a more distant relative than your children and cannot be as dear to you as your husband.” She replied: “O king! If it pleases the deity, I might have another husband; and if I lose my children, I could have others. But since both my parents are dead, I can have no other brother.” Darius found her response very wise; in fact, he was so pleased with it that he not only spared her brother's life but also pardoned her eldest son.
A passage in the Antigone of Sophocles embodies the same singular sentiment. Creon forbade the rites of sepulture to Polynices, after the duel with his brother Eteocles, in which they were mutually slain, and decreed immediate death to any one who should dare to bury him. Antigone, their sister, was detected in the act of burial, and was condemned to be buried alive for her pious care. In her dangerous situation she goes on to say:—
A passage in the Antigone by Sophocles captures the same unique feeling. Creon prohibited the burial rites for Polynices after the fight with his brother Eteocles, during which they both died. He declared that anyone who dared to bury him would face immediate death. Antigone, their sister, was caught in the act of burying him and was sentenced to be buried alive for her devotion. In her perilous situation, she goes on to say:—
A story of analogous character told by an oriental to Miss Rogers, is related in her book Domestic Life in Palestine, as follows:—
A similar story told by an Eastern person to Miss Rogers is recounted in her book Domestic Life in Palestine, as follows:—
When Ibrahim Pasha, the son of Mahomet Ali, ruled in Palestine, he sent men into all the towns and villages to gather together a large army. Then a certain woman of Serfurich sought Ibrahim Pasha at Akka, and came into his presence bowing herself before him, and said: “O my lord, look with pity on thy servant, and hear my prayer. A little while ago there were three men in my house, my husband, my brother, and my eldest son. But now behold, they have been carried away to serve in your army, and I am left with my little ones without a protector. I pray you grant liberty to one of these men, that he may remain at home.” And Ibrahim had pity on her and said: “O woman, do you ask for your husband, for your son, or for your brother?” And she said: “Oh, my lord, give me my brother.” And he answered: “How is this, O woman, do you prefer a brother to a husband or a son?” The woman, who was renowned for 683her wit and readiness of speech, replied in a blank verse impromptu:—
When Ibrahim Pasha, the son of Mahomet Ali, ruled in Palestine, he sent men into all the towns and villages to gather a big army. Then a woman from Serfurich sought Ibrahim Pasha at Akka, approached him respectfully, and said, “O my lord, please have mercy on your servant and listen to my plea. Recently, there were three men in my house: my husband, my brother, and my eldest son. But now, they’ve been taken away to serve in your army, and I’m left with my young children without anyone to protect us. I ask you to free one of these men so he can stay home.” Ibrahim felt compassion for her and asked, “O woman, do you want your husband, your son, or your brother?” She replied, “Oh, my lord, give me my brother.” He responded, “Why, O woman, do you choose a brother over a husband or a son?” The woman, known for her cleverness and quick wit, responded in an impromptu blank verse:—
And Ibrahim was much pleased with the words of the woman, and said: “O, woman, happy above many is thy brother; he shall be free for thy word’s sake, and thy husband and thy son shall be free also.” Then the woman could not speak for joy and gladness. And Ibrahim said: “Go in peace; let it not be known that I have spoken with you this day.” Then she rose, and went her way to her village, trusting in the promise of the Pasha. After three days, her husband, and son, and brother returned unto her, saying: “We are free from service by order of the Pasha, but this matter is a mystery to us.” And all the neighbors marvelled greatly. But the woman held her peace, and this story did not become known until Ibrahim’s departure from Akka, after the overthrow of the Egyptian goverment in Syria, in 1840.
And Ibrahim was very pleased with the woman's words and said, “Oh, woman, your brother is luckier than many; he will be free because of what you said, and your husband and your son will be free as well.” The woman was so overjoyed that she couldn't speak. Ibrahim continued, “Go in peace; don’t let anyone know that I spoke with you today.” She then got up and went back to her village, trusting in the Pasha's promise. After three days, her husband, son, and brother returned to her and said, “We are free from servitude by the order of the Pasha, but we don't understand how this happened.” All the neighbors were amazed. But the woman stayed silent, and this story didn't come to light until Ibrahim left Akka, following the fall of the Egyptian government in Syria in 1840.
What the husband and the son thought of wifely and motherly affection when the mystery of their deliverance was cleared up, is not reported.
What the husband and son thought about a wife's and mother's love once the mystery of their rescue was explained is not mentioned.
THE TWO STATESMEN.
Hume says (History of England):—
Hume states (History of England):—
A little before he (Wolsey) expired (28th November, 1530) he addressed himself in the following words to Sir William Kingston, Constable of the Tower, who had him in custody: “I pray you have me heartily recommended unto his royal majesty (Henry VIII.), and beseech him on my behalf to call to his remembrance all matters that have passed between us 684especially with regard to his business with the queen, and then will he know in his conscience whether I have offended him. He is a prince of a most royal carriage, and hath a princely heart; and rather than he will miss or want any part of his will, he will endanger the one half of his kingdom. I do assure you that I have often kneeled before him, sometimes three hours together, to persuade him from his will and appetite, but could not prevail: had I but served God as diligently as I have served the king, he would not have given me over in my grey hairs. But this is the just reward I must receive for my indulgent pains and study, not regarding my service to God but only to my prince.”
A little before he died (November 28, 1530), he spoke to Sir William Kingston, the Constable of the Tower, who had him in custody, and said: “Please give my heartfelt regards to His Royal Majesty (Henry VIII.), and ask him to remember all that has passed between us, especially concerning his dealings with the queen. Then he will know in his conscience whether I have wronged him. He is a prince of great dignity and has a noble heart; and rather than miss any part of his desires, he would risk half of his kingdom. I assure you, I have often knelt before him, sometimes for three hours straight, trying to persuade him from his wishes, but I couldn't change his mind. If I had served God as devotedly as I have served the king, He wouldn't have abandoned me in my old age. But this is the fair reward I must receive for my devoted efforts and hard work, focusing on my service to the king rather than to God.”
Holinshead says in his famous old Chronicles:—
Holinshead says in his famous old Chronicles:—
This year (1540), in the month of August, Sir James Hamilton of Finbert, Knight, Controller to the King (James V. of Scotland), who charged him in the king’s name to go toward within the castel of Edinburgh, which commandment he willingly obeyed, thinking himself sure enough, as well by reason of the good service he had done to the king, specially in repairing the palaces of Striviling and Linlithgow, as also that the king had him in so high favour, that he stood in no fear of himself at all. Nevertheless, shortlie after he was brought forth to judgement, and convicted in the Tolboth of Edinburgh, of certain points of treason, laid against him, which he would never confesse; but that notwithstanding, he was beheaded in the month of September next insuing, after that he had liberallie confessed at the place of execution, that he had never in any jot offended the king’s majesty; and that his death was yet worthilie inflicted upon him by the Divine justice, because he had often offended the law of God to please the prince, thereby to obtain greater countenance with him. Wherefore he admonished all persons, that moved by his example, they should rather follow the Divine pleasure than unjustlie seek the king’s favour, since it is better to please God than man.
This year (1540), in August, Sir James Hamilton of Finbert, Knight, Controller to King James V of Scotland, was ordered by the king to go to the castle of Edinburgh. He gladly complied, feeling confident due to the good service he had provided to the king, especially in restoring the palaces of Striviling and Linlithgow, along with the king's favor towards him, which made him feel secure. However, shortly after, he was taken for judgment and found guilty in the Tolbooth of Edinburgh on certain charges of treason, which he never admitted. Nevertheless, he was executed in September, after having boldly stated at the execution site that he had never offended the king in any way, and that his death was justly imposed upon him by Divine justice because he had frequently violated God's law to gain favor with the prince, in hopes of receiving more support from him. Therefore, he advised everyone, inspired by his example, to prioritize God's will over unjustly seeking the king's favor, emphasizing that it is better to please God than man.
THE JUDGMENT OF SOLOMON.
Several parallels to Solomon’s judgment, I. Kings iii. 16–28, are recorded. One occurs in Gesta Romanorum. Three youths, to decide a question, are desired by their referee, the King of Jerusalem, to shoot at their father’s dead body. One only refuses; and to him, as the rightful heir, the legacy is awarded.
Several parallels to Solomon’s judgment, I. Kings iii. 16–28, are recorded. One occurs in Gesta Romanorum. Three young men, to resolve a dispute, are asked by their referee, the King of Jerusalem, to shoot at their father’s dead body. Only one refuses; and to him, as the rightful heir, the inheritance is awarded.
In the Harleian MS., 4523, we are told of a woman of Pegu, a province of Burmah, whose child was carried away by an alligator. Upon its restoration another woman claimed the child. The judge ordered them to pull for it; the infant cried, and one instantly quit her hold, to whom the child was awarded.
In the Harleian MS., 4523, it tells of a woman from Pegu, a province in Burma, whose child was taken by an alligator. When the child was returned, another woman claimed it. The judge ordered them to pull for it; the baby cried, and one of the women immediately let go of her hold, to whom the child was given.
The same story, substantially, is told in the Pali commentary on the discourses of Buddha, translated by Rev. R. S. Hardy, as follows:—
The same story, essentially, is recounted in the Pali commentary on the teachings of Buddha, translated by Rev. R. S. Hardy, as follows:—
A woman who was going to bathe, left her child to play on the banks of a tank, when a female who was passing that way carried it off. They both appeared before Buddha, and each declared the child was her own. The command was therefore given that each claimant should seize the infant by a leg and an arm, and pull with all her might in opposite directions. No sooner had they commenced than the child began to scream; when the real mother, from pity, left off pulling, and resigned her claim to the other. The judge therefore decided that, as she only had shown true affection, the child must be hers.
A woman who was about to take a bath left her child playing by the edge of a pond when another woman passing by took the child away. They both came before Buddha, each claiming the child was hers. Buddha ordered that each claimant should grab the child by a leg and an arm and pull with all their strength in opposite directions. As soon as they started pulling, the child began to scream; the real mother, feeling sorry for her child, stopped pulling and gave up her claim to the other woman. The judge then ruled that, since she was the one who showed true affection, the child must belong to her.
Suetonius tell us that the Emperor Claudius, when a woman refused to acknowledge her son, ordered them to be married. The mother confessed her child at once.
Suetonius tells us that Emperor Claudius, when a woman refused to recognize her son, ordered them to get married. The mother immediately admitted her child.
PRECEDENCY.
The Emperor Charles V. was appealed to, by two women of fashion at Brussels, to settle the point of precedency between them, the dispute respecting which had been carried to the greatest height. Charles, after affecting to consider what each lady had to say, decided that the greater simpleton of the two should have the pas; in consequence of which judgment the ladies became equally ready to concede the privilege each had claimed. Napoleon, on the occurrence of a similar difficulty at a Court ball supper, based his decision on the question of age. Mr. Hey, of Leeds, at a dinner-party of gentlemen, made merit the test.
The Emperor Charles V was approached by two fashionable women in Brussels to resolve their dispute over who should have precedence, which had escalated quite a bit. After pretending to weigh what each lady had to say, Charles decided that the bigger fool of the two should get the honor. As a result, both women were quick to drop their claims to the privilege they had each sought. Similarly, when faced with a related issue at a court ball supper, Napoleon based his decision on the question of age. At a dinner party with gentlemen, Mr. Hey from Leeds made merit the deciding factor.
THE LEGEND OF BETH GELERT.
In F. Johnson’s translation from the Sanscrit, occurs the following passage:—
In F. Johnson’s translation from Sanskrit, the following passage appears:—
In Ougein lived a Brahman named Mádhava. His wife, of the Brahmanical tribe, who had recently brought forth, went to perform her ablutions, leaving him to take charge of her infant offspring. Presently a person from the Raja came for the Brahman to perform for him a Párrana s’ráddha (a religious rite to all his ancestors.) When the Brahman saw him, being impelled by his natural poverty, he thought within himself: If I go not directly, then some one else will take the s’ráddha. It is said:—
In Ougein, there lived a Brahman named Mádhava. His wife, from a Brahmin family, had recently given birth and went to bathe, leaving him to care for their infant. Soon, a messenger from the Raja arrived, asking the Brahman to perform a Párrana s’ráddha (a religious ceremony for his ancestors). When the Brahman saw him, driven by his natural poverty, he thought to himself: If I don't go right away, someone else will take the s’ráddha. It is said:—
“In respect of a thing which ought to be taken, or to be given, or of a work which ought to be done, and not being done quickly, time drinks up the spirit thereof.”
“In terms of something that should be taken or given, or a task that should be completed but isn't done quickly, time drains the energy from it.”
But there is no one here to take care of the child: what can I do then? Well: I will go, having set to guard the infant this weasel, cherished a long time, and in no respect distinguished from a child of my own. This he did and went. Shortly afterwards, a black serpent, whilst silently coming near the child, was killed there, and rent into pieces by the weasel; who, seeing the Brahman coming home, ran towards him with haste, his mouth and paws all smeared with blood, and rolled himself at his feet. The Brahman seeing him in that state, without reflecting, said, “My son has been eaten by this weasel,” and killed him: but as soon as he drew near and looked, behold the child was comfortably sleeping, and the serpent lay killed! Thereupon the Brahman was overwhelmed with grief.
But there’s no one here to look after the child: what can I do now? Well, I will leave this weasel, which I’ve cared for a long time and see as no different from my own child, to watch over the infant. He did this and left. Shortly after, a black snake approached the child quietly but was killed and ripped apart by the weasel. When the Brahman came home, the weasel rushed to him, its mouth and paws covered in blood, and rolled at his feet. The Brahman, seeing him like that and not thinking clearly, said, “My son has been eaten by this weasel,” and killed it. But when he got closer and looked, he saw the child sleeping peacefully and the dead snake nearby! Then the Brahman was filled with sorrow.
This fable was introduced to give point to the moral:—The fool who, without knowing the true state of the case, becomes subject to anger, will find cause for regret. Its similarity to the well-known Welsh legend is so remarkable that we append Spencer’s touching ballad.
This fable was presented to highlight the moral:—The fool who, without understanding the true situation, gives in to anger will end up regretting it. Its resemblance to the famous Welsh legend is so striking that we include Spencer’s poignant ballad.
ART STORIES.
Art has parallel stories of a tragic nature. In the
Art has parallel stories that are often tragic. In the
stands an exquisite example of Gothic tracery-work, known as the Apprentice’s Pillar, neighbored by corbels carved with grim, grotesque human faces. How it came by its name may best be told as the old dame who acted as cicerone at the beginning of the present century used to tell it.
stands an exquisite example of Gothic tracery work, known as the Apprentice’s Pillar, next to corbels carved with grim, grotesque human faces. The story behind its name is best told by the old lady who acted as a guide at the start of the current century.
“There ye see it, gentlemen, with the lace-bands winding sae beautifully roond aboot it. The maister had gane awa to Rome to get a plan for it, and while he was awa, his ’prentice made a plan himsel, and finished it. And when the maister cam back and fand the pillar finished, he was sae enraged that he took a hammer and killed the ’prentice. There you see the ’prentice’s face—up there in ae corner wi’ a red gash in the brow, and his mother greetin’ for him in the corner opposite. And there, in another corner, is the maister, as he lookit just before he was hanged; it’s him wi’ a kind o’ ruff roond his face.”
“There you see it, gentlemen, with the lace bands beautifully winding around it. The master had gone away to Rome to get a design for it, and while he was away, his apprentice made a design himself and finished it. When the master came back and found the pillar finished, he was so angry that he took a hammer and killed the apprentice. There you see the apprentice’s face—up in one corner with a red gash on the forehead, and his mother crying for him in the opposite corner. And there, in another corner, is the master, just as he looked before he was hanged; it’s him with a sort of ruff around his face.”
In the same century that the Prince of Orkney founded the chapel at Roslin, the good people of Stendal employed an architect of repute to build them one new gate, and entrusted the erection of a second to his principal pupil. In this case, too, the aspiring youth proved the better craftsman, and paid the same penalty; the spot whereon he fell beneath his master’s hammer being marked to this day by a stone commemorating the event; and the story goes that yet, upon moonlight nights, the ghost of the murdered youth may be seen contemplating the work that brought him to an untimely end, while a weird skeleton beats with a hammer at the stone he wrought into beauty.
In the same century that the Prince of Orkney built the chapel at Roslin, the good people of Stendal hired a well-known architect to construct a new gate for them, and they entrusted the building of a second gate to his top student. In this case, the ambitious young man turned out to be the better craftsman, but he paid the same price; the spot where he fell under his master’s hammer is still marked today by a stone commemorating the incident. The story goes that on moonlit nights, the ghost of the young man can be seen contemplating the work that led to his untimely death, while a strange skeleton hammers at the stone he once shaped into beauty.
Another stone, at Grossmoringen, close by Stendal, tells where an assistant bell-caster was stabbed by his master because he succeeded in casting a bell, after the latter had failed in the attempt. It is a tradition of Rouen that the two rose-windows of its 690cathedral were the work of the master-architect and his pupil, who strove which of the two should produce the finer window. Again the man beat the master, and again the master murdered the man in revenge for his triumph. The transept window of Lincoln Cathedral was the product of a similar contest, but in this instance the defeated artist killed himself instead of his successful rival.
Another stone, at Grossmoringen near Stendal, marks the spot where an assistant bell-caster was stabbed by his master because he managed to cast a bell after the master had failed. There's a tradition in Rouen that the two rose windows of its cathedral were created by the master architect and his pupil, who were in a competition to see who could make the better window. The apprentice won again, and once more, the master murdered him in revenge for his victory. The transept window of Lincoln Cathedral was the result of a similar rivalry, but in this case, the defeated artist took his own life instead of harming his successful rival.
BALLADS AND LEGENDS.
Scott’s ballad of “Wild Darrell” was founded upon a story, first told by Aubrey, but for which the poet was indebted to Lord Webb Seymour. An old midwife sitting over her fire one dark November night was roused by a loud knocking at the door. Upon opening it she saw a horseman, who told her her services were required by a lady of rank, and would be paid for handsomely; but as there were family reasons why the affair should be kept secret, she must submit to be conducted to her patient blindfolded. She agreed, allowed her eyes to be bandaged, and took her place on the pillion. After a journey of many miles, her conductor stopped, led her into a house, and removed the bandage. The midwife found herself in a handsome bedchamber, and in presence of a lady and a ferocious-looking man. A boy was born. Snatching it from the woman’s arms, the man threw the babe on the blazing fire; it rolled upon the hearth. Spite of the entreaties of the horrified midwife, and the piteous prayers of the poor mother, the ruffian thrust the child under the grate, and raked the hot coals over it. The innocent accomplice was then ordered to return whence she came, as she came; the man who had brought her seeing her home again, and paying her for her pains.
Scott’s ballad of “Wild Darrell” is based on a story first told by Aubrey, but the poet owed it to Lord Webb Seymour. One dark November night, an old midwife sitting by her fire was startled by a loud knock at the door. When she opened it, she saw a rider who told her that her services were needed by a lady of noble birth and that she'd be paid well; however, for family reasons, the matter needed to remain a secret, so she must be taken to her patient blindfolded. She agreed, let him cover her eyes, and took her place on the horse. After traveling several miles, her guide stopped, led her into a house, and took off the blindfold. The midwife found herself in an elegant bedroom, facing a lady and a fierce-looking man. A boy was born. Snatching the baby from the woman’s arms, the man tossed the child onto the blazing fire; it rolled onto the hearth. Despite the pleas of the horrified midwife and the desperate cries of the poor mother, the brute pushed the child under the grate and covered it with burning coals. The innocent midwife was then instructed to return the way she came; the man who brought her back saw her home again and paid her for her trouble.
The woman lost no time in letting a magistrate know what she had seen that November night. She had been sharp enough to cut a piece out of the bed-curtain, and sew it in again, and to count the steps of the long staircase she had ascended and descended. By these means the scene of the infanticide was identified, and the murderer Darrell, Lord of Littlecote House, 691Berkshire was tried at Salisbury. He escaped the gallows by bribing the judge, only to break his neck in the hunting-field a few months afterwards, at a place still known as Darrell’s Stile. Aubrey places Littlecote in Wiltshire, makes the unhappy mother the waiting-maid of Darrell’s wife, and concludes his narration thus: “This horrid action did much run in her (the midwife’s) mind, and she had a desire to discover it, but knew not where ’twas. She considered with herself the time that she was riding, and how many miles she might have ridden at that rate in that time, and that it must be some great person’s house, for the room was twelve feet high. She went to a justice of the peace, and search was made—the very chamber found. The knight was brought to his trial; and, to be short, this judge had this noble house, park, and manor, and (I think) more, for a bribe to save his life. Sir John Popham gave sentence according to law, but being a great person and a favorite, he procured a nolle prosequi.”
The woman quickly informed a magistrate about what she had witnessed that November night. She had been clever enough to cut a piece from the bed curtain, sew it back, and count the steps of the long staircase she had gone up and down. Through these efforts, the scene of the infanticide was identified, and the murderer Darrell, Lord of Littlecote House, Berkshire, was tried in Salisbury. He escaped execution by bribing the judge, only to end up breaking his neck in the hunting field a few months later, at a place still known as Darrell’s Stile. Aubrey places Littlecote in Wiltshire, makes the unfortunate mother the maid of Darrell’s wife, and concludes his account like this: “This horrible action troubled her (the midwife) greatly, and she wanted to uncover it, but didn’t know where to start. She thought about the time she was riding and how many miles she could have traveled at that speed in that time, realizing it must have been someone important’s house since the room was twelve feet high. She went to a justice of the peace, and a search was conducted—the very chamber was found. The knight was brought to trial; to be brief, this judge received this noble house, park, and manor, and (I believe) more as a bribe to save his life. Sir John Popham issued a sentence according to the law, but being a powerful individual and a favorite, he managed to get a nolle prosequi.”
In Sir Walter’s ballad the midwife becomes a friar of orders gray, compelled to shrive a dying woman,
In Sir Walter’s ballad, the midwife becomes a friar in gray robes, forced to hear the confession of a dying woman,
and when
and when
It was hardly fair to make Darrell worse than he was, by laying a second murder at his door, merely to give a local habitation and a name to a Scotch tale of murder that might have been an adaptation of the Berkshire tragedy.
It wasn't fair to make Darrell seem worse than he was by accusing him of a second murder just to create a local setting and character for a Scottish murder story that could have been based on the Berkshire tragedy.
Somewhere about the beginning of the last century, an Edinburgh clergyman was called out of his bed at midnight on the pretext that he was wanted to pray with a person at the point of death. The good man obeyed the summons without hesitation, but wished he had not done so, when, upon his sedan-chair reaching an out-of-the-way part of the city, its bearers insisted upon his being blindfolded, and cut his protestations 692short by threatening to blow out his brains if he refused to do their bidding. Like the sensible man he was, he submitted without further parley, and the sedan moved on again. By and by, he felt he was being carried up-stairs: the chair stopped, the clergyman was handed out, his eyes uncovered, and his attention directed to a young and beautiful lady lying in bed with an infant by her side. Not seeing any signs of dying about her, he ventured to say so, but was commanded to lose no time in offering up such prayers as were fitting for a person at the last extremity. Having done his office, he was put into the chair and taken down-stairs, a pistol-shot startling his ears on the way. He soon found himself safe at home, a purse of gold in his hand, and his ears still ringing with the warning he had received, that if he said one word about the transaction, his life would pay for the indiscretion. At last he fell off to sleep, to be awakened by a servant with the news, that a certain great house in the Canongate had been burned down, and the daughter of its owner perished in the flames. The clergyman had been long dead, when a fire broke out on the very same spot, and there, amid the flames, was seen a beautiful woman, in an extraordinarily rich night-dress of the fashion of half a century before. While the awe-struck spectators gazed in wonder, the apparition cried, “Anes burned, twice burned; the third time I’ll scare you all!” The midwife of the Littlecote legend and the divine of the Edinburgh one were more fortunate than the Irish doctor living at Rome in 1743; this gentleman, according to Lady Hamilton, being taken blindfolded to a house and compelled to open the veins of a young lady who had loved not wisely, but too well.
Somewhere around the start of the last century, a clergyman from Edinburgh was called out of bed at midnight under the excuse that he needed to pray with someone near death. The kind man didn’t hesitate to respond, but he regretted it when, upon arriving in a remote part of the city, the bearers of his sedan chair insisted he be blindfolded, cutting off his protests by threatening to shoot him if he refused. Like the sensible man he was, he complied without further argument, and the chair continued on. Eventually, he felt himself being carried up the stairs; the chair stopped, and he was taken out, his eyes uncovered, and directed to a young, beautiful woman lying in bed with a baby beside her. Not seeing any signs of dying, he cautiously mentioned this, but was told to hurry and say prayers appropriate for someone at death’s door. After he performed his duty, he was placed back in the chair and taken downstairs, startled by a gunshot echoing in his ears on the way. Soon, he found himself safe at home, a purse of gold in his hand, with the warning still ringing in his ears that if he spoke a word about the event, his life would be forfeit. Eventually, he fell asleep, only to be awakened by a servant with news that a notable house in the Canongate had burned down, and the owner’s daughter had perished in the flames. The clergyman had been dead for a long time when another fire broke out in the same spot, and there, amid the flames, a beautiful woman was seen wearing an extraordinarily rich nightgown from fifty years prior. As the stunned onlookers stared in amazement, the apparition exclaimed, “Once burned, twice burned; the third time I’ll scare you all!” The midwife from the Littlecote legend and the clergyman from the Edinburgh story were luckier than an Irish doctor in Rome in 1743; according to Lady Hamilton, this gentleman was taken blindfolded to a house and forced to open the veins of a young woman who had loved not wisely, but too well.
BURIAL ALIVE.
In the year 1400, Ginevra de Amiera, a Florentine beauty, married, under parental pressure, a man who had failed to win her heart, that she had given to Antonio Rondinelli. Soon afterwards the plague broke out in Florence; Ginevra fell ill, apparently 693succumbed to the malady, and being pronounced dead, was the same day consigned to the family tomb. Some one, however, had blundered in the matter, for in the middle of the night, the entombed bride woke out of her trance, and badly as her living relatives had behaved, found her dead ones still less to her liking, and lost no time in quitting the silent company, upon whose quietude she had unwittingly intruded. Speeding through the sleep-wrapped streets as swiftly as her clinging cerements allowed, Ginevra sought the home from which she had so lately been borne. Roused from his slumbers by a knocking at the door, the disconsolate widower of a day cautiously opened an upper window, and seeing a shrouded figure waiting below, in whose upturned face he recognized the lineaments of the dear departed, he cried, “Go in peace, blessed spirit,” and shut the window precipitately. With sinking heart and slackened step, the repulsed wife made her way to her father’s door, to receive the like benison from her dismayed parent. Then she crawled on to an uncle’s, where the door was indeed opened, but only to be slammed in her face by the frightened man, who, in his hurry, forgot even to bless his ghostly caller. The cool night air, penetrating the undress of the hapless wanderer, made her tremble and shiver, as she thought she had waked to life only to die again in the cruel streets. “Ah” she sighed, “Antonio would not have proved so unkind.” This thought naturally suggested it was her duty to test his love and courage: it would be time enough to die if he proved like the rest. The way was long, but hope renerved her limbs, and soon Ginevra was knocking timidly at Rondinelli’s door. He opened it himself, and although startled by the ghastly vision, calmly inquired what the spirit wanted with him. Throwing her shroud away from her face, Ginevra exclaimed, “I am no spirit, Antonio; I am that Ginevra you once loved, who was buried yesterday—buried alive!” and fell senseless into the welcoming arms of her astonished lover, whose cries for help soon brought down his sympathizing family to hear the wondrous story, and bear its heroine 694to bed, to be tenderly tended until she bad recovered from the shock, and was as beautiful as ever again. Then came the difficulty. Was Ginevra to return to the man who had buried her, and shut his doors against her, or give herself to the man who had saved her from a second death? With such powerful special pleaders as love and gratitude on his side, of course Rondinelli won the day, and a private marriage made the lovers amends for previous disappointment. They, however, had no intention of keeping in hiding, but the very first Sunday after they became man and wife, appeared in public together at the cathedral, to the confusion and wonder of Ginevra’s friends. An explanation ensued, which satisfied everybody except the lady’s first husband, who insisted that nothing but her dying in genuine earnest could dissolve the original matrimonial bond. The case was referred to the bishop, who, having no precedent to curb his decision, rose superior to technicalities, and declared that the first husband had forfeited all right to Ginevra, and must pay over to Rondinelli the dowry he had received with her: a decree at which we may be sure all true lovers in fair Florence heartily rejoiced.
In the year 1400, Ginevra de Amiera, a beautiful Florentine, married a man her parents pressured her into marrying, even though her heart belonged to Antonio Rondinelli. Shortly after, the plague hit Florence; Ginevra got sick, seemingly died, and was pronounced dead. That same day, she was laid to rest in the family tomb. However, someone had made a mistake, because in the middle of the night, the buried bride woke up from her trance. Not pleased with the behavior of her living relatives, she found the dead ones even less appealing and quickly left the silent company she had unintentionally interrupted. Racing through the sleep-filled streets as fast as her burial wrappings allowed, Ginevra headed back to her home from which she had just been taken. Awakened by a knock at the door, her grieving husband, who had been widowed for just a day, cautiously opened an upper window. Seeing a shrouded figure below and recognizing the features of his beloved, he exclaimed, “Go in peace, blessed spirit,” and quickly closed the window. Heartbroken and discouraged, the rejected wife made her way to her father’s house, only to receive the same reaction from her shocked parent. Then she moved on to an uncle’s place, where the door was opened but immediately slammed shut by the frightened man, who was so rattled he forgot to even bless his ghostly visitor. The cool night air chilled the unfortunate wanderer, making her tremble and shiver as she realized she had woken up only to die again in the cruel streets. “Ah,” she sighed, “Antonio wouldn’t have been so unkind.” This thought naturally led her to decide that she had to test his love and courage: she could face dying again if he turned out to be like the rest. The journey was long, but hope strengthened her, and soon Ginevra was timidly knocking on Rondinelli’s door. He opened it himself, and although startled by her ghastly appearance, he calmly asked what the spirit wanted. Throwing her shroud aside, Ginevra exclaimed, “I’m not a spirit, Antonio; I am Ginevra, the one you once loved, who was buried yesterday—buried alive!” She then fainted into the surprised arms of her astonished lover, whose cries for help soon brought his sympathetic family to hear the incredible story and to take the heroine to bed, where they tenderly cared for her until she recovered from the shock and looked as beautiful as ever. Then came the dilemma. Should Ginevra return to the man who had buried her and closed his doors against her, or give herself to the man who saved her from a second death? With powerful allies like love and gratitude on his side, Rondinelli naturally came out on top, and a private marriage allowed the lovers to make up for their earlier disappointment. They had no intention of staying hidden, so the very first Sunday after they became husband and wife, they appeared publicly together at the cathedral, to the shock and amazement of Ginevra’s friends. An explanation followed, satisfying everyone except her first husband, who insisted that only her actual death could dissolve their original marriage. The issue was brought to the bishop, who, lacking any precedent to guide his decision, rose above technicalities and declared that the first husband had lost all rights to Ginevra and must pay Rondinelli the dowry he had received with her. This decree surely delighted all true lovers in beautiful Florence.
This Italian romance of real life has its counterpart in a French cause célèbre, but the Gallic version unfortunately lacks names and dates; it differs, too, considerably in matters of detail; instead of the lady being a supposed victim of the plague, which in the older story secured her hasty interment, she was supposed to have died of grief at being wedded against her inclination; instead of coming to life of her own accord, and seeking her lover as a last resource, the French heroine was taken out of her grave by her lover, who suspected she was not really dead, and resuscitated by his exertions, to flee with him to England. After living happily together there for ten years, the strangely united couple ventured to visit Paris, where the first husband accidentally meeting the lady, was struck by her resemblance to his dead wife, found out her abode, and finally claimed her for his own. When the case came for trial, the second husband did not dispute the fact of identity, but pleaded that his rival had renounced 695all claim to the lady by ordering her to be buried, without first making sure she was dead, and that she would have been dead and rotting in her grave if he had not rescued her. The court was saved the trouble of deciding the knotty point, for, seeing that it was likely to pronounce against them, the fond pair quietly slipped out of France, and found refuge in “a foreign clime, where their love continued sacred and entire, till death conveyed them to those happy regions where love knows no end, and is confined within no limits.”
This Italian romance has a similar story in a French media sensation, but the French version unfortunately doesn’t include names or dates. It also differs significantly in details; instead of the woman being a supposed victim of the plague, which led to her quick burial in the older story, she was thought to have died from heartbreak after being forced into a marriage she didn't want. Instead of waking up on her own and searching for her lover as a last resort, the French heroine was dug up from her grave by her lover, who believed she wasn’t actually dead, and he brought her back to life with his efforts so they could escape to England together. After living happily there for ten years, the unusual couple decided to visit Paris, where the first husband accidentally encountered the lady and was struck by how much she looked like his deceased wife. He tracked her down and ultimately claimed her for himself. When the case went to trial, the second husband didn’t dispute the identity but argued that his rival had forfeited all claims to her by ordering her burial without confirming she was dead, stating that she would have been dead and decaying in her grave if he had not saved her. The court was spared the trouble of resolving this complex issue because, realizing it was likely to rule against them, the devoted couple quietly left France and found refuge in “a foreign land, where their love remained intact and sacred until death brought them to those happy realms where love knows no end and is without boundaries.”
RING STORIES.
Of dead-alive ladies brought to consciousness by sacrilegious robbers, covetous of the rings upon their cold fingers, no less than seven stories, differing but slightly from each other, have been preserved; in one, the scene is laid in Halifax; in another, in Gloucestershire; in a third, in Somersetshire; in the fourth, in Drogheda; the remaining three being appropriated by as many towns in Germany.
Of dead women who were brought back to life by sacrilegious thieves wanting the rings on their cold fingers, there are at least seven stories that are mostly the same but have slight differences. In one, the story takes place in Halifax; in another, in Gloucestershire; in a third, in Somerset; in the fourth, in Drogheda; the last three are set in different towns in Germany.
Ring-stories have a knack of running in one groove. Herodotus tells us how Amasis advised Polycrates, as a charm against misfortune, to throw away some gem he especially valued; how, taking the advice, Polycrates went seaward in a boat, and cast his favorite ring into the ocean; and how, a few days afterward, a fisherman caught a large fish so extraordinarily fine, that he thought it fit only for the royal table, and accordingly presented it to the fortunate monarch, who ordered it to be dressed for supper; and lo! when the fish was opened, the surprised cook’s astonished eye beheld his master’s cast-away ring; much to that master’s delight, but his adviser’s dismay; for when Amasis heard of the wonderful event, he immediately dispatched a herald to break his contract of friendship with Polycrates, feeling confident the latter would come to an ill end, “as he prospered in everything, even finding what he had thrown away.” The city of Glasgow owes the ring-holding salmon figuring in its armorial bearings to a legend concerning its patron 696saint, Kentigern, thus told in the Acta Sanctorum: A queen who formed an improper attachment to a handsome soldier, put upon his finger a precious ring which her own lord had conferred upon her. The king, made aware of the fact, but dissembling his anger, took an opportunity, in hunting, while the soldier lay asleep beside the Clyde, to snatch off the ring, and throw it into the river. Then returning home along with the soldier, he demanded of the queen the ring he had given her. She sent secretly to the soldier for the ring, which could not be restored. In great terror, she then despatched a messenger to ask the assistance of the holy Kentigern. He, who knew of the affair before being informed of it, went to the river Clyde, and having caught a salmon, took from the stomach the missing ring, which he sent to the queen. She joyfully went with it to the king, who, thinking he had wronged her, swore he would be revenged upon her accusers; but she, affecting a forgiving temper, besought him to pardon them as she had done. At the same time, she confessed her error to Kentigern, and solemnly vowed to be more careful of her conduct in future. In 1559, a merchant and alderman of Newcastle, named Anderson, handling his ring as he leaned over the bridge, dropped it into the Tyne. Some time after, his servant bought a salmon in the market, in whose stomach the lost ring was found: its value enhanced by the strange recovery, the ring became an heirloom and was in the possession of one of the Alderman’s decendants some forty years ago. A similar accident, ending in a similar way, is recorded to have happened to one of the dukes of Lorraine.
Ring stories have a way of sticking to a familiar pattern. Herodotus tells us how Amasis advised Polycrates, as a way to avoid misfortune, to throw away a gem he particularly cherished. Following the advice, Polycrates took a boat to the sea and tossed his favorite ring into the ocean. A few days later, a fisherman caught a large fish so exceptional that he believed it was worthy of the royal table, so he presented it to the fortunate king, who had it prepared for supper. And lo! When the fish was cut open, the amazed cook discovered his master’s discarded ring, bringing much joy to the king but distress to his adviser. When Amasis heard about this incredible event, he quickly sent a herald to end his friendship with Polycrates, convinced that the latter would meet a bad fate, “since he was prospering in everything, even finding what he had thrown away.” The city of Glasgow owes the ring-holding salmon in its coat of arms to a legend about its patron saint, Kentigern, as told in the Acts of the Saints: A queen who formed an inappropriate attachment to a handsome soldier placed a precious ring, given to her by her husband, on his finger. The king, finding out about this but hiding his anger, took a chance during a hunt when the soldier was asleep by the Clyde, snatched off the ring, and threw it into the river. Returning home with the soldier, he asked the queen for the ring he had given her. She secretly asked the soldier for it, but it couldn’t be returned. In panic, she sent a messenger to seek help from the holy Kentigern. He, knowing all about it before being told, went to the River Clyde, caught a salmon, and retrieved the missing ring from its stomach, which he sent to the queen. She happily brought it to the king, who, thinking he had wronged her, vowed to take revenge on her accusers. However, she pretended to be forgiving and urged him to pardon them as she had done. At the same time, she confessed her mistakes to Kentigern and promised to be more careful in the future. In 1559, a merchant and alderman from Newcastle named Anderson dropped his ring into the Tyne while leaning over the bridge. Some time later, his servant bought a salmon at the market, where the lost ring was discovered in its stomach. Its value increased by the strange recovery, the ring became an heirloom and was still held by one of the alderman’s descendants about forty years ago. A similar incident, resulting in a comparable outcome, is recorded to have happened to one of the dukes of Lorraine.
DEATH PROPHECIES.
Monk Gerbert, who wore the tiara as Sylvester II., a man of whom it was said that—thanks to the devil’s assistance—he never left anything unexecuted which he ever conceived, anticipating Roger Bacon, made a brazen head capable of answering like an oracle. From this creature of his own, Gerbert learned 697he would not die until he had performed mass in Jerusalem. He thereupon determined to live forever by taking good care never to go near the holy city. Like all dealers with the Evil One, he was destined to be cheated. Performing mass one day in Rome, Sylvester was seized with sudden illness, and upon inquiring the name of the church in which he had officiated, heard, to his dismay, that it was popularly called Jerusalem; then he knew his end was at hand; and it was not long before it came. Nearly five hundred years after this event happened, Master Robert Fabian, who must not be suspected of inventing history, seeing, as sheriff and alderman, he was wont to pillory public liars, wrote of Henry IV., “After the feast of Christmas, while he was making his prayers at St. Edward’s shrine, he became so sick, that such as were about him feared that he would have died right there; wherefore they, for his comfort, bare him into the abbot’s place, and lodged him in a chamber; and there, upon a pallet, laid him before the fire, where he lay in great agony a certain time. At length, when he was come to himself, not knowing where he was, he freyned [asked] of such as were there about him what place that was; the which shewed to him that it belonged unto the Abbot of Westminster; and for he felt himself so sick, he commanded to ask if that chamber had any special name. Whereunto it was answered, that it was named Jerusalem. Then said the king, ‘Laud be to the Father of Heaven, for now I know I shall die in this chamber, according to the prophecy of me beforesaid, that I should die in Jerusalem;’ and so after, he made himself ready, and died shortly after, upon the Day of St. Cuthbert, on the 20th day of March, 1413.”
Monk Gerbert, who wore the tiara as Sylvester II., was said to have, with the devil’s help, never left anything undone that he ever imagined. Anticipating Roger Bacon, he created a brass head that could answer questions like an oracle. From this creation of his, Gerbert learned he wouldn’t die until he had performed mass in Jerusalem. He then decided to live forever by making sure he never went near the holy city. Like all who deal with the Evil One, he was destined to be deceived. While performing mass one day in Rome, Sylvester was suddenly struck by illness, and upon inquiring about the name of the church where he had officiated, he heard, to his horror, that it was popularly called Jerusalem; then he knew his end was near, and it wasn’t long before it came. Nearly five hundred years later, Master Robert Fabian, who shouldn’t be suspected of fabricating history since, as sheriff and alderman, he often punished public liars, wrote about Henry IV., “After the Christmas feast, while he was praying at St. Edward’s shrine, he became so ill that those around him feared he would die right there; so, for his comfort, they carried him to the abbot’s place and placed him in a chamber; there, laid on a pallet before the fire, he remained in great agony for a time. Eventually, when he regained his senses, not knowing where he was, he asked those around him what place it was; they told him it belonged to the Abbot of Westminster; and since he felt so sick, he ordered them to find out if that chamber had a special name. It was answered that it was called Jerusalem. Then the king said, ‘Praise be to the Father of Heaven, for now I know I shall die in this chamber, according to the earlier prophecy that I should die in Jerusalem;’ and after that, he prepared himself and died shortly thereafter, on the Day of St. Cuthbert, the 20th of March, 1413.”
BATTLES.
Three of the most famous battles recorded in English history were marked by a strange contrast between the behavior of the opposing armies on the eve of the fight. At Hastings, the Saxons spent the night in singing, feasting, and drinking; while 698the Normans were confessing themselves and receiving the sacrament. At Agincourt, “the poor condemned English” said their prayers, and sat patiently by their watch-fires, to “inly ruminate the morrow’s danger;” while the over-confident French revelled the night through, and played for the prisoners they were never to take. “On the eve of Bannockburn,” says Paston, who fought there on the beaten side, “ye might have seen the Englishmen bathing themselves in wine, and casting their gorgets; there was crying, shouting, wassailing, and drinking, with other rioting far above measure. On the other side we might have seen the Scots, quiet, still, and close, fasting the eve of St. John the Baptist, laboring in love of the liberties of their country.” Our readers need not be told that in each case the orderly, prayerful army proved victorious, and so made the treble parallel perfect.
Three of the most famous battles in English history had a striking contrast in how the opposing armies behaved on the night before the fight. At Hastings, the Saxons spent the night singing, feasting, and drinking, while the Normans were busy confessing their sins and receiving communion. At Agincourt, "the poor condemned English" said their prayers and patiently sat by their campfires to "deeply ponder the danger of the next day," while the overconfident French celebrated all night, playing for prisoners they would never capture. "On the eve of Bannockburn," says Paston, who fought on the losing side, "you could see the Englishmen bathing themselves in wine and tossing their gorgets aside; there was crying, shouting, partying, and drinking, with other excessive revelry. On the other side, we could see the Scots, calm, quiet, and reserved, fasting on the eve of St. John the Baptist, working hard for the love of their country's freedoms." Our readers know that in each case, the army that was orderly and prayerful emerged victorious, making the three examples perfectly parallel.
BISHOP HATTO.
The legend of Hatto, bishop of Mayence, has been preserved in stanzas which are well remembered by school children. To avoid the importunity of the starving during a period of famine, the wicked prelate collected them into a barn,
The legend of Hatto, bishop of Mayence, has been kept alive in stanzas that schoolchildren often remember. To avoid the relentless begging of the starving during a time of famine, the cruel bishop gathered them into a barn,
Thereupon he was attacked by an army of mice, and escaped to his tower (the Mäuseschloss) on a rock in the Rhine. But they quickly followed him and poured in by thousands, “in at the windows and in at the door,” until he was overpowered and destroyed.
Thereupon he was attacked by a swarm of mice and escaped to his tower (the Mäuseschloss) on a rock in the Rhine. But they quickly followed him and flooded in by the thousands, “in at the windows and in at the door,” until he was overwhelmed and destroyed.
The same story is told of the Swiss baron, von Güttingen, who was pursued and devoured by mice in his castle in Lake Constance. It is also told, with a variation, of the Polish King Popiel. When the Poles murmured at his bad government, and sought redress, he summoned the chief remonstrants to his palace, poisoned them, and had their bodies thrown into the lake Gopolo. He sought refuge from the mice within a circle of fire, but was overrun and eaten by them.
The same story is told about the Swiss baron, von Güttingen, who was chased and eaten by mice in his castle by Lake Constance. There's also a similar tale about the Polish King Popiel. When the Polish people complained about his poor leadership and wanted justice, he called the main protesters to his palace, poisoned them, and had their bodies dumped in Lake Gopolo. He tried to escape from the mice by surrounding himself with fire, but they overwhelmed him and devoured him.
Prototypes.
THE OLDEST PROVERB.
It appears from I Samuel xxiv. 13, that the oldest proverb on record, is, “Wickedness proceedeth from the wicked;” since David, in his time, declared it to be “a proverb of the ancients;” consequently older than any proverb of his son Solomon.
It seems from I Samuel 24:13 that the oldest recorded proverb is, “Wickedness comes from the wicked,” since David referred to it as “a proverb of the ancients,” making it older than any proverb from his son Solomon.
SHAKSPEARE SAID IT FIRST.
In one of Clough’s letters he tells an amusing story of a Calvinistic old lady, who, on being asked about the Universalists, observed,—“Yes, they expect that everybody will be saved, but we look for better things.” How like this is to the admirable confusion of Sir Andrew Aguecheek, who, in his letter of challenge, (Twelfth Night, iii. 4,) concludes thus:—
In one of Clough’s letters, he shares a funny story about an old Calvinist lady who, when asked about the Universalists, said, “Yes, they think everyone will be saved, but we expect better things.” This is so similar to the amusing mix-up of Sir Andrew Aguecheek, who in his challenge letter (Twelfth Night, iii. 4), ends with:—
CINDERELLA’S SLIPPER.
A story somewhat similar to that of Cinderella has been handed down from the Greek. It is reported of Rhodopis,—a Thracian slave, who was purchased and manumitted by Charaxus of Mytilene, and afterward settled in Egypt,—that one day, while she was in the bath, an eagle, having flown down, snatched one of her slippers from an attendant, and carried it to Memphis. Psammitichus, the king, at the time, was sitting on his tribunal, and while engaged in dispensing justice, the eagle, settling above his head, dropped the sandal into his bosom. Astonished by the singularity of the event, and struck by the diminutive size and elegant shape of the sandal, the king ordered search to be made for the owner throughout the land of Egypt. Having found her at Naucratis, she was presented to the king, who made her his queen.
A story somewhat similar to that of Cinderella has been passed down from the Greeks. It’s said that Rhodopis—a Thracian slave who was bought and freed by Charaxus of Mytilene, and later settled in Egypt—was in the bath one day when an eagle swooped down, grabbed one of her slippers from an attendant, and flew it to Memphis. At the time, King Psammitichus was sitting on his throne, administering justice. The eagle landed above him and dropped the sandal into his lap. Astonished by the unusual occurrence and impressed by the small size and elegant design of the sandal, the king ordered a search for its owner throughout the land of Egypt. They found her in Naucratis, and she was presented to the king, who made her his queen.
CURTAIN LECTURES.
Jerrold, in his preface to the later editions of Mrs. Caudle’s Curtain Lectures, makes this curious statement:—
Jerrold, in his preface to the later editions of Mrs. Caudle’s Curtain Lectures, makes this interesting remark:—
It has happened to the writer that two, or three, or ten, or twenty gentlewomen have asked him ... What could have made you think of Mrs. Caudle? How could such a thing have entered any man’s mind? There are subjects that seem like rain-drops to fall upon a man’s head, the head itself having nothing to do with the matter.... And this was, no doubt, the accidental cause of the literary sowing and expansion—unfolding like a night-flower—of Mrs. Caudle.... The writer, still dreaming and musing, and still following no distinct line of thought, there struck upon him, like notes of sudden household music, these words—Curtain Lectures.
It’s happened to me that two, three, ten, or even twenty women have asked, ... What made you think of Mrs. Caudle? How could such a thought enter any man's mind? Some topics seem to drop onto a man's head like raindrops, with the head itself having nothing to do with it.... And this was likely the random spark that led to the literary growth—opening up like a night-blooming flower—of Mrs. Caudle.... The writer, still lost in thought and not following any clear train of ideas, suddenly got struck by these words—Curtain Talks.
Nevertheless, this phrase may be traced back more than two centuries, while the idea will be found in the Sixth Satire of Juvenal, who says:—
Nevertheless, this phrase can be traced back over two centuries, and the idea is found in the Sixth Satire of Juvenal, who says:—
Stapylton’s translation of this passage was published in 1647:—
Stapylton’s translation of this passage was published in 1647:—
In the margin of the translation are the words Curtain-Lectures.
In the margin of the translation are the words Curtain-Lectures.
Dryden in his translation of the same passage (published 1693) introduces the phrase into the text:—
Dryden, in his translation of the same passage (published 1693), includes the phrase in the text:—
And Addison, in the Tatler, describing a luckless wight undergoing the penalty of a nocturnal oration, says:—
And Addison, in the Tatler, describing an unfortunate person going through the consequences of a late-night speech, says:—
I could not but admire his exemplary patience, and discovered, by his whole behavior, that he was then lying under the discipline of a curtain lecture.
I couldn't help but admire his amazing patience, and I realized from his entire behavior that he was currently enduring a curtain lecture.
THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE.
The metre, movement, and idea of Tennyson’s Charge of the Six Hundred at Balaklava, are evidently derived from Michael Drayton’s Battle of Agincourt, published in 1627. The first, middle and last stanzas of Drayton’s poem run thus:—
The meter, rhythm, and concept of Tennyson’s Charge of the Six Hundred at Balaklava clearly come from Michael Drayton’s Battle of Agincourt, published in 1627. The first, middle, and last stanzas of Drayton’s poem read as follows:—
THE FAUST LEGENDS.
About the middle of the thirteenth century began to spread the notion of formal written agreements between the Fiend and men who were to be his exclusive property after a certain time, during which he was to help them to all earthly good. This, curious to say, came with Christianity from the East. The first instance was that of Theophilus, vicedominus of the Bishop of Adana, a city of Cilicia, in the sixth century, whose fall and conversion form the original of all the Faust legends. The story of Theophilus may be found in various works, among them Ennemoser’s Universal History of Magic, which was translated by William Howitt.
About the middle of the 13th century, the idea of formal written agreements began to spread between the devil and men who would become his exclusive property after a certain period, during which he would help them achieve all earthly good. Interestingly, this notion came with Christianity from the East. The first example was Theophilus, the vicedominus of the Bishop of Adana, a city in Cilicia, in the 6th century, whose downfall and conversion are the basis for all the Faust legends. The story of Theophilus can be found in various works, including Ennemoser’s Universal History of Magic, which was translated by William Howitt.
AIR CUSHIONS.
Ben Jonson, in the Alchemist, makes Sir Epicure Mammon, in his expectation of acquiring the secret of the philosopher’s stone, enumerate to Surly a list of anticipated luxuries. Among these indulgences is this prophetic forecast of modern inflated India-rubber beds and cushions:—
Ben Jonson, in the Alchemist, has Sir Epicure Mammon, while expecting to obtain the secret of the philosopher’s stone, list out for Surly a range of anticipated luxuries. Among these pleasures is this insightful prediction of today's overly luxurious India-rubber beds and cushions:—
THE CAT IN THE ADAGE.
Lady Macbeth thus taunts her husband:—
Lady Macbeth then mocks her husband:—
The adage is thus given in Heywood’s Proverbs, 1566:—
The saying is presented in Heywood’s Proverbs, 1566:—
The proverb is found among all nations. The Latin form of mediæval times was as follows:—
The proverb is found in all cultures. The Latin version from medieval times was as follows:—
The Germans say:—
The Germans say:—
“Die Katze hätt’ die Fische gern; aber sie will die Füsse nit nass machen.”
“The cat would love the fish; but it doesn’t want to get its feet wet.”
And the Scotch have it:—
And the Scots have it:—
CORK LEGS.
A gentleman in Charleston conceived a very decided liking to a young lady from Ireland, and was on the eve of popping the question, when he was told by a friend that his dulcinea had a cork leg. It is difficult to imagine the distress of the young Carolinian. He went to her father’s house, knocked 703impatiently at the door, and when admitted to the fair one’s presence, asked her if what he had heard respecting her were true. “Yes, indeed, my dear Sir, it is true enough, but you have heard only half of my misfortune. I have got two cork legs, having had the ill-luck to be born in Cork.” This is the incident on which is founded Hart’s afterpiece called Perfection.
A guy in Charleston had a strong crush on a young woman from Ireland and was just about to propose when a friend told him that his love interest had a prosthetic leg. It's hard to imagine the young man's distress. He went to her father's house, knocked impatiently on the door, and when he was let in to see her, he asked if what he heard was true. “Yes, my dear Sir, it’s quite true, but you’ve only heard half of my story. I have two prosthetic legs because I was unfortunate enough to be born in Cork.” This is the incident that inspired Hart’s later work called Perfection.
THE POPE’S BULL AGAINST THE COMET.
When President Lincoln was first asked to issue a proclamation abolishing slavery in the Southern States, he replied that such an act would be as absurd as the Pope’s bull against the comet.
When President Lincoln was first asked to issue a proclamation abolishing slavery in the Southern States, he responded that such an act would be as ridiculous as the Pope’s bull against the comet.
The comet referred to is Halley’s. Concerning its first authenticated appearance, Admiral Smyth, in his Cycle of Celestial Objects, says:—
The comet mentioned is Halley's. About its first confirmed appearance, Admiral Smyth, in his Cycle of Celestial Objects, states:—
In 1456 it came with a tail 60° in length, and of a vivid brightness; which splendid train affrighted all Europe, and spread consternation in every quarter. To its malign influences were imputed the rapid successes of Mahomet II., which then threatened all Christendom. The general alarm was greatly aggravated by the conduct of Pope Calixtus III., who, though otherwise a man of abilities, was but a poor astronomer; for that pontiff daily ordered the church bells to be rung at noontide, extra Ave Marias to be repeated, and a special protest and excommunication was composed, exorcising equally the devil, the Turks, and the comet.
In 1456, it appeared with a tail 60° long and a bright glow; this stunning tail terrified all of Europe and caused panic everywhere. Its evil influence was blamed for the quick victories of Mahomet II., which then posed a threat to all of Christendom. The widespread alarm was intensified by the actions of Pope Calixtus III, who, although otherwise capable, was not a great astronomer. That pontiff ordered church bells to be rung at noon every day, extra Ave Marias to be said, and a special protest and excommunication was created, casting out the devil, the Turks, and the comet alike.
SWAPPING HORSES.
The celebrated maxim of President Lincoln, “not to swap horses while fording the stream,” was anticipated centuries ago by Cyrus the Elder, King of Persia, in directing his troops to take up their several stations, when he said, “When the contest is about to begin, there is no longer time for any chariot to unyoke the horses for a change.”
The famous saying by President Lincoln, “don’t change horses in the middle of the river,” was echoed centuries earlier by Cyrus the Elder, King of Persia, when he instructed his troops to take their positions, saying, “When the battle is about to start, there isn’t time for any chariot to unhitch the horses for a change.”
WOODEN NUTMEGS.
Judge Haliburton, in that amusing book The Clockmaker, puts the following in the mouth of Sam Slick:—
Judge Haliburton, in that entertaining book The Clockmaker, has Sam Slick say the following:—
704That remark seemed to grig him a little; he felt oneasy like, and walked twice across the room, fifty fathoms deep in thought; at last he said, “Which way are you from, Mr. Slick, this hitch?” “Why,” says I, “I’ve been away up South a speculating in nutmegs.” “I hope,” says the Professor, “they were a good article,—the real right down genuine thing?” “No, mistake,” says I, “no mistake, Professor; they were all prime, first chop; but why did you ax that ’ere question?” “Why,” says he, “that eternal scoundrel, that Captain John Allspice of Nahant, he used to trade to Charleston, and he carried a cargo once there of fifty barrels of nutmegs. Well, he put half a bushel of good ones into each end of the barrel, and the rest he filled up with wooden ones, so like the real thing, no soul could tell the difference until he bit one with his teeth, and that he never thought of doing until he was first bit himself. Well, it’s been a standing joke with them Southerners agin us ever since.”
704That comment seemed to bother him a bit; he felt uneasy and walked back and forth across the room, deep in thought. Finally, he asked, “Where are you from, Mr. Slick, on this trip?” “Well,” I replied, “I’ve been up South speculating in nutmegs.” “I hope,” said the Professor, “they were good quality—the real genuine article?” “No mistake,” I said, “no mistake, Professor; they were all top-notch, first-rate; but why did you ask that question?” “Well,” he said, “that eternal scoundrel, Captain John Allspice from Nahant, used to trade in Charleston, and he once brought a cargo of fifty barrels of nutmegs there. He put half a bushel of good ones at each end of the barrel and filled the rest with wooden ones that looked just like the real thing. No one could tell the difference until they bit into one, and he never thought of doing that until he was first bitten himself. Well, it’s been a running joke with those Southerners against us ever since.”
TRADE UNIONS.
Trade unions are not of such recent origin as many people suppose. “I am credibly informed,” wrote Mandeville, the philosophic author of the Fables of the Bees, one hundred and fifty years ago, in his Essay on Charity and Charity Schools, “that a parcel of footmen are arrived to that height of insolence as to have entered into a society together, and made laws by which they oblige themselves not to serve for less than such a sum, nor carry burdens, or any bundle or parcel above a certain weight not exceeding two or three pounds, with other regulations directly opposite to the interest of those they serve, and altogether destructive to the use they were designed for. If any of them be turned away for strictly adhering to the orders of this honorable corporation, he is taken care of till another service is provided for him; but there is no money wanting at any time to commence and maintain a lawsuit against any that shall pretend to strike or offer any other injury to his gentleman footman, contrary to the statutes of their society. If this be true, as I believe it is, and they are suffered to go on in consulting and providing for their own ease and conveniency any further, we may expect quickly to see the French comedy ‘Le Maitre le Valet’ acted in good earnest in most families; while, if not redressed in a little time, and these footmen 705increase their company to the number it is possible they may, as well as assemble when they please with impunity, it will be in their power to make a tragedy of it whenever they have a mind to.”
Trade unions are not as recent as many people think. “I have reliable information,” wrote Mandeville, the philosophical author of the Fables of the Bees, one hundred and fifty years ago in his Essay on Charity and Charity Schools, “that a group of footmen has become so arrogant that they have formed a society among themselves, establishing rules that require them not to work for less than a certain amount, or carry any load or parcel over a certain weight of no more than two or three pounds, along with other regulations that are directly against the interests of those they serve, completely undermining the purposes they were meant for. If any of them is dismissed for strictly following the orders of this honorable organization, they are taken care of until another job is found; but there is no shortage of funds at any time to start and continue a lawsuit against anyone who tries to hit or harm their gentleman footman, in violation of their society's rules. If this is true, as I believe it is, and they are allowed to continue looking out for their own comfort and convenience any longer, we can soon expect to see the French play ‘Le Maitre le Valet’ performed seriously in most households; and if it’s not addressed soon, and these footmen 705increase their ranks to the maximum possible, and gather whenever they want with no consequences, they will be able to turn it into a tragedy whenever they choose.”
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
On page 454 of Senator Wilson’s Rise and Fall of the Slave Power in America, he says (of a speech of the late Mr. Giddings): “He referred to the Treaty of Indian Springs, by which, after paying the slaveholders of Georgia the sum of $109,000 for slaves who had escaped to Florida, it added the sum of $141,000 as compensation demanded for the offspring which the females would have borne to their masters had they remained in bondage; and Congress actually paid that sum for children who were never born, but who might have been if their parents had remained faithful slaves.”
On page 454 of Senator Wilson’s Rise and Fall of the Slave Power in America, he states (regarding a speech by the late Mr. Giddings): “He mentioned the Treaty of Indian Springs, which, after compensating the slaveholders of Georgia with $109,000 for slaves that escaped to Florida, added another $141,000 as compensation requested for the children that the female slaves would have given birth to if they had stayed enslaved; and Congress actually paid that amount for children who were never born, but could have been if their parents had remained loyal slaves.”
There is no clearer case of the payment of “consequential damages” in English or American history than this.
There is no clearer example of the payment of “consequential damages” in English or American history than this.
THE ORIGINAL SHYLOCK.
Gregory Leti, in his biography of Sextus V., tells us that Paul Secchi, a Venetian merchant, having learned by private advices that Admiral Francis Blake had conquered St. Domingo, communicated the news to a Jewish merchant named Sampson Ceneda. The latter was so confident that the information was false, that, after repeated protestations, he said, “I bet a pound of my flesh that the report is untrue.” “And I lay a thousand scudi against it,” rejoined the Christian, who caused a bond to be drawn to the effect that in case the report should prove untrue, then the Christian merchant, Signor Paul Secchi, is bound to pay the Jewish merchant the sum of 1000 scudi, and on the other hand, if the truth of the news be confirmed, the Christian merchant, Signor Paul Secchi, is justified and empowered to cut with his own hand, with a well-sharpened knife, 706a pound of the Jew’s fair flesh, of that part of the body it might please him. When the news proved true, the Christian insisted on his bond, but the governor, having got wind of the affair, reported it to the Pope, who condemned both Jew and Christian to the galleys, from which they could only be ransomed by paying a fine of double the amount of the wager.
Gregory Leti, in his biography of Sextus V., tells us that Paul Secchi, a Venetian merchant, heard through private channels that Admiral Francis Blake had taken over St. Domingo. He shared this news with a Jewish merchant named Sampson Ceneda. Sampson was so sure that the information was false that, after insisting multiple times, he said, “I bet a pound of my flesh that the report is untrue.” “And I bet a thousand scudi against it,” replied the Christian. He had a bond drawn up stating that if the report turned out to be false, then the Christian merchant, Signor Paul Secchi, would have to pay the Jewish merchant 1000 scudi. On the other hand, if the news was confirmed to be true, the Christian merchant, Signor Paul Secchi, would be allowed to cut a pound of the Jew’s fair flesh, from whichever part of the body he chose, using a well-sharpened knife. When the news turned out to be true, the Christian insisted on his bond. However, the governor, having caught wind of the situation, reported it to the Pope, who sentenced both the Jew and the Christian to serve in the galleys, from which they could only be released by paying a fine double the amount of the wager.
Shakspeare reverses the order, and makes the Jew usurer demand the pound of flesh from the Christian merchant.
Shakespeare flips the script and has the Jewish moneylender demand a pound of flesh from the Christian merchant.
EXCOMMUNICATION.
The excommunication of the Roman Catholic Church, exactly described by anticipation in Cæsar’s account of their predecessors, the Heathen Druids, will be found in Cæsar, de Bello Gallico, Book VI. Chap, iii., the passage beginning “Si quis aut privatus aut publicus,” and ending “Neque honos ullus communicatur.”
The excommunication from the Roman Catholic Church, accurately predicted in Cæsar’s account of their predecessors, the Heathen Druids, can be found in Cæsar, The Gallic War, Book VI. Chap. iii., starting with “If anyone, whether private or public,” and ending with “No honor is shared..”
They decree rewards and punishments, and if any one refuses to submit to their sentence, whether magistrate or private man, they interdict him the sacrifices. This is the greatest punishment that can be inflicted among the Gauls; because such as are under this prohibition are considered as impious and wicked; all men shun them, and decline their conversation and fellowship, lest they should suffer from the contagion of their misfortunes. They can neither have recourse to the law for justice, nor are capable of any public office.
They impose rewards and punishments, and if anyone refuses to accept their decision, whether a magistrate or an ordinary person, they ban him from participating in sacrifices. This is the worst punishment that can be given among the Gauls; those who are under this ban are seen as impious and evil. Everyone avoids them and refuses to interact with them, so they won’t catch the misfortunes that have befallen those individuals. They cannot seek justice through the law, nor can they hold any public office.
NAPOLEON I.
Compare the character and fall of Bonaparte with that of the king of Babylon as described in the remarkable language of the prophet Isaiah, chapter xiv., verses 4–22.
Compare the character and downfall of Bonaparte with that of the king of Babylon as described in the powerful words of the prophet Isaiah, chapter xiv., verses 4–22.
THE FALLS OF LANARK.
The following lines in an album formerly kept at the inn at Lanark evidently suggested to Southey his playful verses on The Cataract of Lodore:—
The following lines in an album that used to be at the inn in Lanark clearly inspired Southey's playful poem about The Cataract of Lodore:—
In the varied music of Schiller’s Song of the Bell may be found the same style:—
In the diverse music of Schiller’s Song of the Bell, you can see the same style:—
The man must go out | The man must be out |
In enemy territory, | In hostile life toiling, |
Must work and strive | Be struggling and moiling, |
And plant and create, | And planting, obtaining, |
Listen, catch, | Devising and gaining, |
Must bet and venture, | And daring, enduring, |
Hunting for happiness. | So fortune securing. |
TURGOT’S EPIGRAPH ON FRANKLIN.
This inscription, the highest compliment ever paid to the American philosopher and statesman, and originally ascribed to Condorcet and Mirabeau, was written by Turgot, Louis XVI.’s minister and controller-general of finance, and first appeared in the correspondence of Grimm and Diderot, April, 1778. It is, however, merely a modification of a line in the Anti-Lucretius of Cardinal de Polignac, lib. i., v. 37:—
This inscription, the greatest honor ever given to the American philosopher and statesman, and originally credited to Condorcet and Mirabeau, was actually written by Turgot, Louis XVI’s minister and controller-general of finance. It first appeared in the correspondence of Grimm and Diderot in April 1778. However, it is simply a variation of a line from the Anti-Lucretius of Cardinal de Polignac, lib. i., v. 37:—
which is in turn traced to the Astronomicon of Marcus Manilius, a poet of the Augustan age, who says of Epicurus, lib. i. v. 104,—
which is in turn traced to the Astronomicon of Marcus Manilius, a poet of the Augustan age, who says of Epicurus, lib. i. v. 104,—
Taking the laurel from the brow of Epicurus to place it upon the head of Franklin is not so inappropriate, when we recall the sketch of the former by Lucretius illustrans commoda vitæ.
Taking the laurel from Epicurus's brow to place it on Franklin's head isn't so inappropriate when we remember Lucretius's description of the former as illustrating life's benefits.
THE MECKLENBURG DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
Among those who sympathized most deeply with the oppressed inhabitants of New England, and who were earliest to express indignation at the outrages of British tyranny, were the militia-officers of North Carolina, most of whom were Presbyterians of Scotch-Irish nativity. On the 20th of May, 1775, the delegates of the Mecklenburg convention, “after sitting in the court-house all night, neither sleepy, hungry, nor fatigued, and after discussing every paragraph,” unanimously passed the following resolutions. It will be observed that this memorable Declaration of Independence contains many of the ideas, and some of the very phrases and forms of expression, afterwards employed by Mr. Jefferson, and incorporated in his draft of that great national document whose adoption, on the 4th of July, 1776, gave birth to a nation of freemen. The more striking similarities are here shown in Italics:—
Among those who felt the most empathy for the oppressed people of New England, and who were quick to express their anger at the abuses of British tyranny, were the militia officers from North Carolina, most of whom were Presbyterians of Scottish-Irish descent. On May 20, 1775, the delegates at the Mecklenburg convention, “after sitting in the courthouse all night, neither sleepy, hungry, nor tired, and after discussing every paragraph,” unanimously passed the following resolutions. It’s worth noting that this significant Declaration of Independence includes many of the ideas, and some of the exact phrases and expressions, later used by Mr. Jefferson and included in his draft of that important national document, whose adoption on July 4, 1776, led to the creation of a nation of free people. The more striking similarities are highlighted in Italics:—
Resolved, That whosoever directly or indirectly abetted, or in any way, form, or manner countenanced, the unchartered and dangerous invasion of our rights, as claimed by Great Britain, is an enemy to this country, to America, and to the inherent and inalienable rights[36] of Man.
Resolved, That anyone who directly or indirectly supported, or in any way, shape, or form endorsed, the unauthorized and risky violation of our rights, as claimed by Great Britain, is an enemy of this country, of America, and of the inherent and inalienable rights[36] of Man.
Resolved, That we, the citizens of Mecklenburg county, do hereby dissolve the political bands which have connected us to the mother country, and hereby absolve ourselves from all allegiance to the British Crown, and abjure all political connection, contract, or association with that Nation, who have wantonly trampled on our rights and liberties, and inhumanly shed the blood of American patriots at Lexington.
Resolved, We, the citizens of Mecklenburg County, hereby break the political ties that have connected us to the mother country, and free ourselves from any loyalty to the British Crown, and reject all political connection, contracts, or associations with that nation, which has ruthlessly violated our rights and freedoms and inhumanely spilled the blood of American patriots at Lexington.
709Resolved, That we do hereby declare ourselves a free and independent people; are, and of right ought to be, a sovereign and self-governing association, under the control of no power other than that of our God, and the general Government of the Congress; to the maintenance of which independence we solemnly pledge to each other our mutual co-operation, our lives, our fortunes, and our most sacred honor.
709Resolved, That we hereby declare ourselves a free and independent people; we are, and should be by right, a sovereign and self-governing association, under the authority of no power except our God and the general Government of Congress; to maintain this independence, we solemnly pledge to each other our mutual support, our lives, our fortunes, and our most sacred honor.
Resolved, That as we now acknowledge the existence and control of no law or legal officer, civil or military, within this country, we do hereby ordain and adopt as a rule of life all, each, and every of our former laws; wherein, nevertheless, the Crown of Great Britain never can be considered as holding rights, privileges, immunities, or authorities therein.
Settled, That since we now recognize that there is no law or legal authority, civil or military, in this country, we hereby establish and adopt all of our previous laws as our guiding principles; however, the Crown of Great Britain can never be seen as having any rights, privileges, immunities, or powers in this context.
Resolved, That it is further decreed that all, each, and every military officer in this county is hereby reinstated in his former command and authority, he acting conformably to these regulations; and that every member present of this delegation shall henceforth be a civil officer, viz.: a Justice of the Peace in the character of a “Committee-man,” to issue process, hear and determine all matters of controversy, according to said adopted laws, and to preserve peace, union, and harmony in said county; and to use every exertion to spread the love of country and fire of freedom throughout America, until a more general and organized government be established in the Province.
Resolved, That it is further decided that all military officers in this county are reinstated in their previous positions and authority, as long as they follow these regulations; and that every member present from this delegation will now be considered a civil officer, specifically a Justice of the Peace acting as a “Committee-man,” responsible for issuing processes, addressing and resolving disputes according to the adopted laws, maintaining peace, unity, and harmony in the county; and to make every effort to promote love for the country and the spirit of freedom throughout America, until a more comprehensive and organized government is established in the Province.
After discussing the foregoing resolves, and arranging by-laws and regulations for the government of a Standing Committee of Public Safety, who were selected from their delegates, the whole proceedings were unanimously adopted and signed. A select committee was then appointed to draw up a more full and definite statement of grievances, and a more formal Declaration of Independence. The delegation then adjourned about two o’clock A.M.
After going over the previous resolutions and setting up rules and regulations for a Standing Committee of Public Safety, chosen from their delegates, everything was unanimously agreed upon and signed. A special committee was then tasked with creating a more detailed statement of grievances and a formal Declaration of Independence. The delegation then adjourned around two o’clock AM
THE KNOW-NOTHINGS.
The recent political organization under this odd title, which presented one of the most singular features that has yet diversified 710American history, has its archetype in the Church whose progress in this country it was designed to oppose. In Italy there was formerly a strange order of monks calling themselves Fratres Ignorantiæ, “Brothers of Ignorance.” They used to bind themselves by oath not to understand nor to learn any thing, and answered all questions by saying, Nescio, “I do not know.” Their first proposition was, “Though you do not understand the words you speak, yet the Holy Ghost understands them, and the devil flees.” In opposing mental acquirements, they argued thus:—“Suppose this friar studies and becomes a learned man, the consequence will be that he will want to become our superior: therefore, put the sack around his neck, and let him go begging from house to house, in town and country.”
The recent political organization with this strange name, which showcased one of the most unique aspects that has yet to shape American history, is patterned after the Church it aimed to challenge. In Italy, there used to be a peculiar order of monks who called themselves Brothers of Ignorance, “Brothers of Ignorance.” They took an oath to not understand or learn anything and would respond to all questions with Nescio, “I do not know.” Their primary argument was, “Even if you don’t understand the words you say, the Holy Spirit understands them, and the devil runs away.” In their opposition to acquiring knowledge, they reasoned: “If this friar studies and becomes educated, he’ll want to be our leader; therefore, let’s put a sack around his neck and send him begging from door to door, in the city and the countryside.”
THE ORIGINAL OF BUNYAN’S PILGRIM’S PROGRESS.
The Isle of Man, or the Legal Proceedings in Manshire against Sin, wherein, by way of a continual Allegory, the chief malefactors disturbing both Church and Commonwealth are detected and attached, with their arraignment and judicial trial, according to the laws of England; the spiritual use thereof, with an apology for the manner of handling most necessary to be first read, for direction in the right use of the allegory. By the Rev. Richard Bernard.
The Isle of Man, or the Legal Proceedings in Manshire against Sin, where, through a continuous Allegory, the main offenders troubling both the Church and the State are identified and brought to justice, along with their indictment and trial, according to English laws; the spiritual purpose of this, along with a justification for the approach taken that should be read first, for guidance on the proper understanding of the allegory. By the Rev. Richard Bernard.
An allegory with the above title, originally published more than two hundred years ago, was reprinted in Bristol, England, in 1803. In a note to this edition, addressed to the reader, the editor states that the work is prized as well on account of the ingenuity of the performance as the probability of its having suggested to Mr. John Bunyan the first idea of his Pilgrim’s Progress, and of his Holy War, which was intimated on a leaf facing the title-page, by the late Rev. Mr. Toplady.
An allegory with the above title, originally published over two hundred years ago, was reprinted in Bristol, England, in 1803. In a note to this edition, directed at the reader, the editor mentions that the work is valued not only for its cleverness but also because it likely inspired Mr. John Bunyan in creating his Pilgrim’s Progress and his Holy War, as noted on a page facing the title page by the late Rev. Mr. Toplady.
The editor says, “That Bunyan had seen the book may be inferred from its extensive circulation, for in one year only after its first publication it ran through seven editions.” He then proceeds to the internal evidence, and points out a supposed 711similarity between the characters in the two works, as between Wilful Will of the one and Will-be-Will of the other; Mr. Worldly Wiseman of Bunyan and Sir Worldly Wise of Bernard; Soul’s Town of Bernard and Bunyan’s Town of Man’s Soul, &c.
The editor states, “It's clear Bunyan must have seen the book due to its widespread popularity; it went through seven editions just one year after it was first published.” He then looks at the content itself and points out a supposed similarity between characters in both works, such as Wilful Will and Will-be-Will; Mr. Worldly Wiseman from Bunyan and Sir Worldly Wise from Bernard; Soul’s Town from Bernard and Bunyan’s Town of Man’s Soul, etc.
That the book has no very high order of genius to commend it is evident from the fact that it has passed into comparative obscurity. The world does not suffer the works of true prophets to die. Still, there is enough in it to render it worthy of being held in remembrance; and, antedating Bunyan as it does, passing through seven editions immediately after its first publication, presenting some striking analogies with the great master of allegory, and sinking into obscurity before the brighter and more enduring light of the Bedford tinker, its author deserves honorable mention for his attempt to present religious truth in a striking and impressive form at a period when such attempts were rare.
That the book doesn't have a particularly high level of genius to recommend it is clear since it has faded into relative obscurity. The world doesn't let the works of true prophets fade away. Still, there's enough in it to make it worthy of being remembered; and since it predates Bunyan, going through seven editions right after its first release, showing some notable similarities with the great master of allegory, and falling into obscurity before the brighter and more lasting light of the Bedford tinker, its author deserves to be recognized for his effort to present religious truth in a compelling and impactful way at a time when such efforts were rare.
Southey, in his Commonplace Book, gives a long quotation from Lucian’s Hermotimus, to show how Bunyan was anticipated, in the main idea of his allegory, by a Greek writer, as far back as the second century.
Southey, in his Commonplace Book, includes a lengthy quote from Lucian’s Hermotimus to illustrate how Bunyan was foreshadowed in the main idea of his allegory by a Greek writer as early as the second century.
Another claimant for this Telemachus of Protestant religious literature has recently been brought to light by Catherine Isabella Curt, who has just published in London a translation of an old French manuscript in the British Museum, which is almost word for word the Pilgrim’s Progress. The manuscript is the work of a clergyman, G de Grideville, who lived in the fifteenth century. Its title, in Norman English, is Pylgremage of the Sowle. The printer, Caxton, who occupied the same position in London as the Etiennes of Paris, published in 1483 a translation of this manuscript, of which the authenticity appears incontestable. It would seem, therefore, that the credit of this celebrated book belongs to France, although France hitherto has shown less appreciation of the original than England has bestowed on the copy.
Another contender for the Telemachus of Protestant religious literature has recently come to light thanks to Catherine Isabella Curt, who just published a translation of an old French manuscript in the British Museum that is almost identical to the Pilgrim’s Progress. The manuscript was created by a clergyman, G de Grideville, who lived in the fifteenth century. Its title, in Norman English, is Pylgremage of the Sowle. The printer, Caxton, who held a position in London similar to that of the Etiennes in Paris, published a translation of this manuscript in 1483, and its authenticity seems unquestionable. Therefore, it appears that the credit for this famous book belongs to France, even though France has shown less appreciation for the original than England has for the copy.
ROBINSON CRUSOE: WHO WROTE IT?
Disraeli, in his ever-charming Curiosities of Literature, expresses boldly the opinion that “no one had, or perhaps could have, converted the history of Selkirk into the wonderful story we possess but De Foe himself.” So have we all been accustomed to believe, from those careless, happy days of boyhood when we pored intently over the entrancing pages of “Robinson Crusoe” and wished that we also could have a desert island, a summer bower, and a winter-cave retreat, as well as he. But there is, alas! some slight ground at least for believing that De Foe did not write that immortal tale, or, at all events, the better portion of it, viz., the first part or volume of the work. In Sir H. Ellis’s Letters of Eminent Literary Men (Camden Soc. Pub. 1843, vol. 23), p. 420, Letter 137 is from “Daniel De Foe to the Earl of Halifax, engaging himself to his lordship as a political writer.” In a note by the editor a curious anecdote is given, quoted from “a volume of Memoranda in the handwriting of Thomas Warton, poet-laureate, preserved in the British Museum,” in relation to the actual authorship of the “Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.” The extract is as follows:—
Disraeli, in his ever-charming Curiosities of Literature, boldly states that “no one had, or perhaps could have, transformed the history of Selkirk into the amazing story we have except Defoe himself.” This is what we've all been led to believe, since those carefree, happy days of childhood when we eagerly read the captivating pages of “Robinson Crusoe” and wished we could also have a deserted island, a summer house, and a winter hideaway, just like he did. Unfortunately, there is at least a small reason to believe that Defoe did not write that timeless tale, or at least not the best part of it, namely the first part or volume of the work. In Sir H. Ellis’s Letters of Eminent Literary Men (Camden Soc. Pub. 1843, vol. 23), p. 420, Letter 137 is from “Daniel Defoe to the Earl of Halifax, offering himself to his lordship as a political writer.” In a note by the editor, there is a curious anecdote, quoted from “a volume of Memoranda in the handwriting of Thomas Warton, poet laureate, preserved in the British Museum,” regarding the true authorship of the “Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.” The extract is as follows:—
“Mem. July 10, 1774.—In the year 1759, I was told by the Rev. Mr. Hollaway, rector of Middleton Stoney, in Oxfordshire, then about seventy years old, and in the early part of his life chaplain to Lord Sunderland, that he had often heard Lord Sunderland say that Lord Oxford, while prisoner in the Tower of London, wrote the first volume of the History of Robinson Crusoe, merely as an amusement under confinement, and gave it to Daniel De Foe, who frequently visited Lord Oxford in the Tower and was one of his pamphlet-writers; that De Foe, by Lord Oxford’s permission, printed it as his own, and, encouraged by its extraordinary success, added himself the second volume, the inferiority of which is generally acknowledged. Mr. Holloway also told me, from Lord Sunderland, that Lord Oxford dictated some parts of the manuscript to De Foe. Mr Hollaway,”—Warton adds,—“was a grave, conscientious clergyman, 713not vain of telling anecdotes, very learned, particularly a good Orientalist, author of some theological tracts, bred at Eton School, and a Master of Arts of St. John’s College, Cambridge. He used to say that ‘Robinson Crusoe at its first publication, and for some time afterward, was universally received and credited as a genuine history. A fictitious narrative of this sort was then a new thing.’”
“Mem. July 10, 1774.—In 1759, the Rev. Mr. Holloway, rector of Middleton Stoney in Oxfordshire, who was then about seventy years old and had been chaplain to Lord Sunderland in his younger days, told me that he often heard Lord Sunderland say that while Lord Oxford was imprisoned in the Tower of London, he wrote the first volume of the History of Robinson Crusoe just to pass the time, and gave it to Daniel Defoe, who frequently visited Lord Oxford in the Tower and was one of his pamphlet writers. Defoe, with Lord Oxford's permission, published it as his own work. After that, encouraged by its incredible success, he added the second volume himself, which is generally considered to be of lesser quality. Mr. Holloway also mentioned, from Lord Sunderland, that Lord Oxford dictated some parts of the manuscript to Defoe. Mr. Holloway,”—Warton adds,—“was a serious and principled clergyman, not one to boast about anecdotes, very learned, especially skilled in Oriental studies, and the author of some theological tracts. He was educated at Eton School and held a Master of Arts degree from St. John’s College, Cambridge. He would say that ‘Robinson Crusoe, when it was first published and for quite some time afterward, was universally accepted and believed to be a true story. A fictional narrative like this was something new at the time.’”
Besides, it may be added, the real and somewhat similar circumstances of Alexander Selkirk’s solitary abode of four years and four months on the island of Juan Fernandez, had, only a few years previously, been the subject of general conversation, and had therefore prepared the public mind for the possibility, if not the probability, of such adventures.
Besides, it can be said that the real and somewhat similar situation of Alexander Selkirk’s four-year, four-month solitude on Juan Fernandez Island had, just a few years earlier, been widely discussed, which had gotten people thinking about the possibility, if not the likelihood, of such adventures.
PROVERB MISASCRIBED TO DEFOE.
In an article on the writings of Daniel Defoe, in a late number of the Edinburgh Review, the critic refers to the True-Born Englishman, the opening quatrain of which is quoted as being “all that will ever be remembered of the poem.”
In an article about the works of Daniel Defoe, in a recent issue of the Edinburgh Review, the critic mentions the True-Born Englishman, quoting the opening quatrain as “all that will ever be remembered of the poem.”
A recent number of Chambers’s Papers for the People also contains an article on Defoe, in which the same lines are quoted as having since grown into a proverb. It is evident that the two critics believed the idea to be original with Defoe. But they were both in error; for in an old tract, entitled The Vineyarde of Vertue, printed in 1591, seventy-seven years before Defoe was born, may be found the following sentence:—
A recent edition of Chambers’s Papers for the People also features an article about Defoe, where the same lines are quoted as having become a proverb. It's clear that the two critics thought the idea was original to Defoe. However, they were both mistaken; in an old pamphlet called The Vineyarde of Vertue, published in 1591, seventy-seven years before Defoe was born, the following sentence can be found:—
It is oftentimes seene, that as God hath his Churche, so will the Deuill have a Chappell.
It is often seen that just as God has His Church, the Devil will have a Chapel.
It was also used before Defoe’s time by George Herbert and Robert Burton. The former says, in his Jacula Prudentum, “No sooner is a temple built to God, but the Devil builds a 714chapel hard by;” and the latter, in his Anatomy of Melancholy, thus expresses it: “Where God hath a Temple the Devil will have a Chapel.” It is evident that Defoe only versified a well-known proverb of his day.
It was also used before Defoe’s time by George Herbert and Robert Burton. The former says in his Jacula Prudentum, “No sooner is a temple built to God, but the Devil builds a 714chapel nearby;” and the latter, in his Anatomy of Melancholy, puts it this way: “Where God has a Temple, the Devil will have a Chapel.” It’s clear that Defoe just put a well-known saying of his time into verse.
THE USE OF LANGUAGE.
To Talleyrand has generally been attributed the authorship of the maxim that “the use of language is to conceal our thoughts.” (La parole a été donnée à l’homme pour aider à cacher sa pensée.)
To Talleyrand is usually credited with the saying that “the use of language is to conceal our thoughts.” (Speech was given to man to help conceal his thoughts.)
In Pycroft’s Ways and Words of Men of Letters, a quotation is made from an article on The Use of Language, published in a periodical called the Bee, under date of October 20, 1759, which reads as follows: “He who best knows how to conceal his necessity and desires is the most likely person to find redress; and the true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.”
In Pycroft’s Ways and Words of Men of Letters, there is a quote from an article on The Use of Language, published in a periodical called the Bee, dated October 20, 1759, which says: “The person who knows how to hide their needs and wants is the one most likely to find a solution; and the real purpose of speech is not so much to express our needs as to hide them.”
Nearly a century before this, Dr. South preached a sermon in Westminster Abbey, on The Wisdom of the World, in which he said, “Men speak with designs of mischief, and therefore they speak in the dark. In short, this seems to be the true inward judgment of all our politic sages, that speech was given to the ordinary sort of men whereby to communicate their mind, but to wise men whereby to conceal it.”
Nearly a century earlier, Dr. South delivered a sermon at Westminster Abbey on The Wisdom of the World, where he stated, “People often speak with harmful intentions, which is why they speak in secrecy. In short, this seems to be the real insight of all our political thinkers: that speech was given to regular people to express their thoughts, but to wise individuals to hide them.”
SCANDINAVIAN SKULL CUPS.
What a pretty tale was slaughtered when Grenville Piggot pointed out, in his Manual of Scandinavian Mythology, the blundering translation of the passage in an old Scandinavian poem relating to the occupation of the blest in the halls of Valhalla, the Northern paradise! “Soon shall we drink out of the curved horns of the head,” are the words in the death-song of Regner Lodbrog; meaning by this violent figure to say that they would imbibe their liquor out of cups formed from the crooked horns of animals. The first translators, however, not seeing their way clearly, rendered the passage, 715“Soon shall we drink out of the skulls of our enemies;” and to this strange banqueting there are allusions without end to be met with in our literature. Peter Pindar, for example, once said that the booksellers, like the heroes of Valhalla, drank their wine out of the skulls of authors.
What a lovely story was ruined when Grenville Piggot pointed out, in his Manual of Scandinavian Mythology, the clumsy translation of a passage in an old Scandinavian poem about the activities of the blessed in the halls of Valhalla, the Northern paradise! “Soon shall we drink out of the curved horns,” are the words in the death-song of Regner Lodbrog; meaning, with this vivid image, that they would drink their liquor from cups made from the twisted horns of animals. The first translators, however, not seeing things clearly, translated the passage as, 715“Soon shall we drink out of the skulls of our enemies;” and there are countless references to this odd feasting in our literature. For instance, Peter Pindar once said that booksellers, like the heroes of Valhalla, drank their wine from the skulls of authors.
GREAT LITERARY PLAGIARISM.
The London Athenæum asserts that Paley’s Natural Theology is copied from a series of papers which appeared about the end of the seventeenth century, in the Leipsic Transactions, written by a Dutch philosopher named Nieuwentyt. It is extraordinary that this discovery was not made before, inasmuch as the papers, after having been published at Amsterdam about the year 1700, were afterwards translated into English by Mr. Chamberlayne, and published by Longman & Co., in 1818, about fifteen years after Paley’s Natural Theology appeared. As Paley quotes Dr. Nieuwentyt from the Leipsic Transactions, he, of course, must have known and perused them. Parallel passages are printed side by side in the Athenæum, for the purpose of proving the assertion.
The London Athenæum claims that Paley’s Natural Theology is based on a series of papers that came out around the end of the seventeenth century in the Leipsic Transactions, written by a Dutch philosopher named Nieuwentyt. It's surprising that this discovery wasn't made earlier, considering that the papers, published in Amsterdam around 1700, were later translated into English by Mr. Chamberlayne and released by Longman & Co. in 1818, about fifteen years after Paley's Natural Theology was published. Since Paley quotes Dr. Nieuwentyt from the Leipsic Transactions, he clearly must have known about and read them. Parallel passages are printed side by side in the Athenæum to support this claim.
OLD BALLADS.
It was not the more polished author of Ivanhoe who gave us the unfading picture of the Black Knight, but he who sang of
It wasn’t the more refined writer of Ivanhoe who created the lasting image of the Black Knight, but the one who sang of
It was not the “thousand-souled Shakspeare” who gave birth to the story of the pound of flesh; for Shylock is no other than Gernutus the Jew of Venice. We subjoin two stanzas from Percy’s Reliques:—
It wasn't the “thousand-souled Shakespeare” who created the story of the pound of flesh; rather, Shylock is simply Gernutus the Jew of Venice. We include two stanzas from Percy’s Reliques:—
Even the tragedy of Lear was set to the tune of “When flying Fame” before it was known to the stage. Nor will it be unjust to the memory of the good and gifted Goldsmith to say that the Old Harper sang:—
Even the tragedy of Lear was set to the tune of “When flying Fame” before it was known on stage. It wouldn't be unfair to the memory of the good and talented Goldsmith to say that the Old Harper sang:—
before the gentle Angelina thought of saying:—
before the gentle Angelina thought of saying:—
THE WANDERING JEW.
The success of Le Juif Errant of M. Sue, when first published, arose doubtless from two causes: the deep hold upon the popular heart which the legend of the lonely wanderer naturally acquired, and the reaction against papacy at that period. The efforts of the church, and particularly of the Society of Jesus, against which it was specially directed, to either suppress it or neutralize its effects, tended the more to extend its influence. The legend of a wanderer, pursued by some fate or power above, suffering, solitary and deathless, is as old as the human race. It takes a new form with every step in human progress, adapting itself to the character of the period and place where it reappears. It belongs to the early East, notably the Hindoo legendary literature, to Greece and Rome, and to Christendom, taking shape rather from the religious than the ethical elements of character. The Wandering Jew of Christendom varies with times and places, as his name also varies. He is Salathiel, Ahasuerus, Cartaphilus, Theudas, Zerib Bar Elia, Isbal, Michob-Ader, Bultadœus, Isaac Laquedon or something else, as circumstances 717determine. The German designation—the Everlasting Jew, der ewige Jude—is more specifically significant really than that of other languages, in most of which it is “wandering.”
The success of Le Juif Errant by M. Sue, when it was first released, likely came from two reasons: the strong emotional connection the legend of the lonely wanderer had with the people and the backlash against the papacy at that time. The church's efforts, especially from the Society of Jesus, to either ban it or diminish its impact only helped to increase its popularity. The story of a wanderer, chased by some fate or higher power, who suffers in solitude and is immortal, is as ancient as humanity itself. It takes on new forms with each advancement in human history, adapting to the characteristics of the time and place where it reemerges. This legend can be traced back to the early East, particularly in Hindu legendary literature, as well as to Greece, Rome, and Christendom, shaped more by religious themes than by ethical ones. The Wandering Jew of Christendom changes with different times and locations, and so does his name. He is known as Salathiel, Ahasuerus, Cartaphilus, Theudas, Zerib Bar Elia, Isbal, Michob-Ader, Bultadœus, Isaac Laquedon, or something else, depending on the circumstances. The German name—the Everlasting Jew, the eternal Jew—is actually more meaningful than in most other languages, where it's referred to as “wandering.”
The weird figure, wandering in fulfillment of his doom in the Carpathians, or halting at Nürnberg or Bamberg, or going in and out among the peasantry of Brittany or Wales, is an attractive subject: a vague, shadowy form; mortal and yet immortal; typical at once of man’s liability to death, and of his everlasting existence. He has the passions and anxieties and sorrows of manhood, and is endowed with a function which places him beyond the operations of Providence. From the earliest notice of this hero, which occurs in the Chronicles of the Abbey of St. Albans, he appears in numerous and manifold literary forms—drama, lyric, ballad, historical poem, legend, novel, study, essay, chronicle, biography, myth and paragraph, to the extent of perhaps a hundred volumes. The legends of most of these agree in representing the Jew as a wanderer since the day of the crucifixion, sometimes repentant and sometimes defiant, but always going. From this general voice Dr. Croly, in his Salathiel, upon a true artistic principle, departs, and makes his doomed one live only the usual period of man’s life. His Jew is repentant and anxious to die, and dies in due season. The Jew of M. Eubule-Evans, in the Curse of Immortality, also is repentant, but, pursued by implacable vengeance of the Almighty, he refuses, in his morbid pride, to purchase the repose of death at the price of self-abasement; but at last reaches contrition through the softening influence of human love, repents and dies.
The strange figure, wandering in fulfillment of his fate in the Carpathians, or stopping at Nürnberg or Bamberg, or mingling with the peasants of Brittany or Wales, is an intriguing subject: a vague, shadowy presence; both mortal and immortal; representing both humanity’s vulnerability to death and the concept of eternal existence. He has the desires, worries, and sorrows of manhood, and possesses a role that places him outside the workings of Providence. From the earliest mention of this character in the Chronicles of the Abbey of St. Albans, he appears in various literary forms—drama, lyric, ballad, historical poem, legend, novel, study, essay, chronicle, biography, myth, and even brief accounts, amounting to perhaps a hundred volumes. The legends of most of these agree in showing the Jew as a wanderer since the day of the crucifixion, sometimes regretful and sometimes defiant, but always on the move. Dr. Croly, in his Salathiel, departs from this common portrayal and makes his doomed character live only the usual span of human life. His Jew is remorseful and eager to die, and he dies in due time. The Jew of M. Eubule-Evans, in the Curse of Immortality, is also penitent, but, pursued by the relentless wrath of the Almighty, he stubbornly refuses, in his morbid pride, to seek the peace of death at the cost of humility; ultimately, he attains regret through the gentle influence of human love, repents, and dies.
With similar general characteristics the wanderer of M. Sue’s powerful melodramatic story seeks death in every clime and form: but lives on, wanders on, and toils to achieve human ends, until the close of the romance, when the hero sets out anew. Our readers are doubtless familiar with the story—the scattered heirs of a fortune of two million francs to be divided among them upon condition of their assembling at a given hour in a 718given room in Paris; and the machinations of the wily Jesuit Rodin, whose end was to secure the money for his own society.
With similar general traits, the wanderer in M. Sue’s intense melodrama searches for death in every place and form: yet he continues to live, to wander, and to struggle to achieve human goals, until the end of the story, when the hero sets off once again. Our readers are probably familiar with the tale—the scattered heirs of a fortune of two million francs will receive their share, but only if they gather at a specific time in a 718 designated room in Paris; and the schemes of the cunning Jesuit Rodin, whose goal was to claim the money for his own organization.
The Chronicles of the Abbey of St. Albans, already referred to, report the following circumstantial details:—
The Chronicles of the Abbey of St. Albans, mentioned earlier, provide the following detailed information:—
In the year 1228, a certain archbishop of Armenia came on a pilgrimage to England to see the relics of the saints, and visit the sacred places in this kingdom, as he had done in others; he also produced letters of recommendation from his Holiness the Pope to the religious men and prelates of the churches, in which they were enjoined to receive and entertain him with due reverence and honor. On his arrival, he came to St. Albans, where he was received with all respect by the abbot and monks; and at this place, being fatigued with his journey, he remained some days to rest himself and his followers. In the course of conversation by means of their interpreters, he made many inquiries relating to the religion and religious observances of this country, and told many strange things concerning the countries of the East. In the course of conversation he was asked whether he had ever seen or heard anything of Joseph, a man of whom there was much talk in the world, who, when our Lord suffered, was present and spoke to him, and who is still alive, in evidence to the Christian faith; in reply to which a knight in his retinue, who was his interpreter, replied, speaking in French, “My Lord well knows that man, and a little before he took his way to the western countries, the said Joseph ate at the table of my lord the archbishop in Armenia, and he has often seen and held converse with him.” He was then asked about what had passed between Christ and the said Joseph, to which he replied, “At the time of the suffering of Jesus Christ, he was seized by the Jews and led into the hall of judgment, before Pilate, the governor, that he might be judged by him on the accusation of the Jews; and Pilate finding no cause for adjudging him to death, said to them, ‘Take him and judge him according to your law;’ the shouts of the Jews, however, increasing, he, at their request, released unto them Barabbas, and 719delivered Jesus to them to be crucified. When, therefore, the Jews were dragging Jesus forth, and had reached the door, Cartaphilus, a porter of the hall, in Pilate’s service, as Jesus was going out of the door, impiously struck him on the back with his hand, and said in mockery, ‘Go quicker, Jesus, go quicker; why do you loiter?’ and Jesus looking back on him with a severe countenance, said to him, ‘I am going and you will wait till I return.’ And according as our Lord said, this Cartaphilus is still awaiting his return. At the time of our Lord’s suffering he was thirty years old, and when he attains the age of a hundred years, he always returns to the same age as he was when our Lord suffered. After Christ’s death, when the Catholic faith gained ground, this Cartaphilus was baptized by Ananias (who also baptized the apostle Paul), and was called Joseph. He dwells in one or other division of Armenia, and in divers Eastern countries, passing his time amongst the bishops and other prelates of the church; he is a man of holy conversation, and religious; a man of few words, and circumspect in his behavior, for he does not speak at all unless when questioned by the bishops and religious men, and then he tells of the events of old times, and of those which occurred at the suffering and resurrection of our Lord, and of the witnesses of the resurrection, namely, those who rose with Christ, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto men. He also tells of the creed of the apostles, and of their separation and preaching. And all this he relates without smiling or levity of conversation, as one who is well practised in sorrow and the fear of God; always looking forward with fear to the coming of Jesus Christ, lest at the last judgment he should find him in anger, whom, when on his way to death, he had provoked to just vengeance. Numbers come to him from different parts of the world, enjoying his society and conversation; and to them, if they are men of authority, he explains all doubts on the matters on which he is questioned. He refuses all gifts that are offered to him, being content with slight food and clothing.”
In 1228, an archbishop from Armenia made a pilgrimage to England to see the relics of the saints and visit the holy sites in this kingdom, just like he had in others. He also brought letters of recommendation from the Pope, asking the clergy and church leaders to receive and honor him with respect. When he arrived, he went to St. Albans, where the abbot and monks welcomed him with great respect. Since he was tired from his journey, he stayed there for several days to rest himself and his companions. During conversations through interpreters, he asked many questions about the religion and worship practices in this country and shared many unusual stories about the Eastern countries. At one point, he was asked if he had ever heard of Joseph, a man who was talked about a lot, who spoke with our Lord during his suffering and is still alive as evidence of the Christian faith. In response, a knight in his entourage, who served as his interpreter, said in French, “My lord knows that man well, and just before he came to the west, Joseph dined at my lord the archbishop's table in Armenia, and he has often seen and talked with him.” He was then questioned about what had happened between Christ and this Joseph, to which he replied, “During the suffering of Jesus Christ, the Jews seized him and brought him before Pilate, the governor, for judgment based on their accusations. Pilate found no reason to condemn him to death, so he told them, ‘Take him and judge him according to your law.’ However, as the Jews shouted louder, he released Barabbas to them and handed Jesus over to be crucified. As the Jews were dragging Jesus out and had reached the door, Cartaphilus, a porter in Pilate’s service, struck Jesus on the back and yelled mockingly, ‘Go faster, Jesus, hurry up; why are you dragging your feet?’ Jesus looked back at him with a stern expression and replied, ‘I am going, and you will wait until I return.’ According to our Lord's words, Cartaphilus is still waiting for that return. He was thirty years old at Christ’s suffering, and each time he reaches a hundred, he returns to the age he was when our Lord suffered. After Christ's death, as the Christian faith spread, Cartaphilus was baptized by Ananias (who also baptized the apostle Paul) and was named Joseph. He lives in various parts of Armenia and other Eastern countries, spending time with bishops and church leaders. He is known for his holy conduct and is religious, speaking little and behaving cautiously; he speaks only when asked by bishops and religious figures, recounting events from ancient times, including those surrounding Christ’s suffering and resurrection, and the witnesses of the resurrection, specifically those who rose with Christ and entered the holy city, appearing to many. He also discusses the apostles' creed and their mission and preaching. He shares all this without a smile or casual attitude, as someone experienced in sorrow and the fear of God, always looking ahead with trepidation to the return of Jesus Christ, hoping he won’t find him angry at the final judgment for provoking righteous vengeance when he was on his way to death. Many people come from different parts of the world to enjoy his company and conversation; he clarifies any doubts they have about various matters, especially when they hold positions of authority. He refuses all gifts offered to him, content with simple food and clothing.
720Of the myths of the Middle Ages, none is more striking than that of the Wandering Jew; indeed it is so well calculated to arrest the attention and to excite the imagination, that it is remarkable that we should find an interval of three centuries between its first introduction into Europe by Matthew Paris and Philip Mouskes, and its general acceptance in the sixteenth century. Of the romances of Eugéne Sue and Dr. Croly, founded upon the legend, the less said the better. The original legend is so noble in its severe simplicity that none but a master mind could develop it with any chance of success. Nor have the poetical attempts upon the story fared better. It was reserved for the pencil of Gustave Doré to treat it with the originality it merited, and in a series of wood-cuts to produce at once a poem, a romance, and a chef-d’œuvre of art.
720Of the myths from the Middle Ages, none is more striking than that of the Wandering Jew; it captures attention and sparks the imagination so well that it's surprising there was a three-century gap between its first introduction to Europe by Matthew Paris and Philip Mouskes, and its widespread acceptance in the sixteenth century. The romances of Eugéne Sue and Dr. Croly, based on the legend, are better left unmentioned. The original legend is so noble in its stark simplicity that only a truly masterful mind could adapt it successfully. The poetic attempts at the story have not fared any better. It was left to Gustave Doré to approach it with the originality it deserved, creating a series of woodcuts that produced simultaneously a poem, a romance, and a masterpiece of art.
Curious Books.
ODD TITLES OF OLD BOOKS,
A Fan to drive away Flies: a theological treatise on Purgatory.
A Fan to Drive Away Flies: a religious discussion on Purgatory.
A most Delectable Sweet Perfumed Nosegay for God’s Saints to Smell at.
A delightful, fragrant bouquet for God's saints to enjoy.
A Pair of Bellows to blow off the Dust cast upon John Fry.
A Pair of Bellows to blow off the Dust cast upon John Fry.
A Proper Project to Startle Fools: Printed in a Land where Self’s cry’d up and Zeal’s cry’d down.
A Proper Project to Startle Fools: Printed in a Land where Self is praised and Zeal is criticized.
A Reaping-Hook, well tempered, for the Stubborn Ears of the coming Crop; or, Biscuit baked in the Oven of Charity, carefully conserved for the Chickens of the Church, the Sparrows of the Spirit, and the sweet Swallows of Salvation.
A well-tempered reaping hook for the stubborn ears of the upcoming crop; or, biscuits baked in the oven of charity, carefully saved for the church's chickens, the spiritual sparrows, and the sweet swallows of salvation.
A Sigh of Sorrow for the Sinners of Zion, breathed out of a Hole in the Wall of an Earthly Vessel, known among Men by the Name of Samuel Fish (a Quaker who had been imprisoned).
A Sigh of Sorrow for the Sinners of Zion, breathed out of a Hole in the Wall of an Earthly Vessel, known among Men by the Name of Samuel Fish (a Quaker who had been imprisoned).
721A Shot aimed at the Devil’s Head-Quarters through the Tube of the Cannon of the Covenant.
721A shot fired at the Devil's Headquarters through the Cannon of the Covenant.
Crumbs of Comfort for the Chickens of the Covenant.
Crumbs of Comfort for the Chickens of the Covenant.
Eggs of Charity, layed by the Chickens of the Covenant, and boiled with the Water of Divine Love. Take Ye and eat.
Eggs of Charity, laid by the Chickens of the Covenant, and boiled with the Water of Divine Love. Take and eat.
High-heeled Shoes for Dwarfs in Holiness.
High-heeled Shoes for Dwarfs in Holiness.
Hooks and Eyes for Believers’ Breeches.
Hooks and Eyes for Believers’ Breeches.
Matches lighted by the Divine Fire.
Matches lit by the Divine Fire.
Seven Sobs of a Sorrowful Soul for Sin, or the Seven Penitential Psalms of the Princely Prophet David; whereunto are also added, William Humius’ Handful of Honeysuckles, and Divers Godly and Pithy Ditties, now newly augmented.
Seven Sobs of a Sorrowful Soul for Sin, or the Seven Penitential Psalms of the Princely Prophet David; to which are also added, William Humius’ Handful of Honeysuckles, and Various Godly and Meaningful Poems, now newly expanded.
Spiritual Milk for Babes, drawn out of the Breasts of both Testaments for their Souls’ Nourishment: a catechism.
Spiritual Milk for Babies, drawn from the Teachings of both Testaments for their Souls’ Nourishment: a catechism.
The Bank of Faith.
The Faith Bank.
The Christian Sodality; or, Catholic Hive of Bees, sucking the Honey of the Churches’ Prayer from the Blossoms of the Word of God, blowne out of the Epistles and Gospels of the Divine Service throughout the yeare. Collected by the Puny Bee of all the Hive not worthy to be named otherwise than by these Elements of his Name, F. P.
The Christian Sodality; or, Catholic Hive of Bees, gathering the Sweetness of the Church's Prayer from the Flowers of the Word of God, drawn from the Epistles and Gospels of the Divine Service throughout the year. Compiled by the Small Bee of the Hive, who prefers to be known only by these Elements of his Name, F. P.
The Gun of Penitence.
The Gun of Redemption.
The Innocent Love; or, the Holy Knight: a description of the ardors of a saint for the Virgin.
The Innocent Love; or, the Holy Knight: a portrayal of the deep feelings of a saint for the Virgin.
The Shop of the Spiritual Apothecary; or a collection of passages from the fathers.
The Shop of the Spiritual Apothecary; or a collection of passages from the fathers.
The Sixpennyworth of Divine Spirit.
The Sixpennyworth of Divine Spirit.
The Snuffers of Divine Love.
The Snuffers of Divine Love.
The Sound of the Trumpet: a work on the day of judgment.
The Sound of the Trumpet: a piece about the day of judgment.
The Spiritual Mustard Pot, to make the Soul Sneeze with Devotion.
The Spiritual Mustard Pot, to make the Soul Sneeze with Devotion.
The Three Daughters of Job: a treatise on patience, fortitude, and pain.
The Three Daughters of Job: a discussion on patience, strength, and suffering.
Tobacco battered, and the Pipes shattered about their Ears that idly idolize so loathsome a Vanity, by a Volley of holy shot thundered from Mount Helicon: a poem against the use of tobacco, by Joshua Sylvester.
Tobacco was beaten down, and the Pipes broke around those who lazily worship such a disgusting Vanity, by a barrage of sacred shots fired from Mount Helicon: a poem against the use of tobacco, by Joshua Sylvester.
722Vox Cœlis; or, Newes from Heaven: being imaginary conversations there between Henry VIII., Edward VI., Prince Henrie, and others.
722Vox Cœlis; or, News from Heaven: featuring imagined conversations there between Henry VIII, Edward VI, Prince Henry, and others.
THE MOST CURIOUS BOOK IN THE WORLD.
The most singular bibliographic curiosity is that which belonged to the family of the Prince de Ligne, and is now in France. It is entitled Liber Passionis Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, cum Characteribus Nulla Materia Compositis. This book is neither written nor printed! The whole letters of the text are cut out of each folio upon the finest vellum; and, being interleaved with blue paper, it is read as easily as the best print. The labor and patience bestowed in its completion must have been excessive, especially when the precision and minuteness of the letters are considered. The general execution, in every respect, is indeed admirable; and the vellum is of the most delicate and costly kind. Rodolphus II. of Germany offered for it, in 1640, eleven thousand ducats, which was probably equal to sixty thousand at this day. The most remarkable circumstance connected with this literary treasure is, that it bears the royal arms of England, but it cannot be traced to have ever been in that country.
The most unique bibliographic curiosity is the one that belonged to the family of the Prince de Ligne and is now in France. It’s titled The Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, with Characters Made of No Material Composition. This book is neither written nor printed! Every letter of the text is cut out of each folio on the finest vellum, and, interleaved with blue paper, it reads as easily as the best print. The effort and patience required to complete it must have been immense, especially considering the precision and detail of the letters. The overall execution is truly impressive, and the vellum is the most delicate and expensive kind. Rodolphus II of Germany offered 11,000 ducats for it in 1640, which would likely be equivalent to around 60,000 today. The most notable thing about this literary treasure is that it bears the royal arms of England, but there’s no record of it ever being in that country.
SILVER BOOK.
In the Library of Upsal, in Sweden, there is preserved a translation of the Four Gospels, printed with metal types upon violet-colored vellum. The letters are silver, and hence it has received the name of Codex Argenteus. The initial letters are in gold. It is supposed that the whole was printed in the same manner as bookbinders letter the titles of books on the back. It was a very near approach to the discovery of the art of printing; but it is not known how old it is.
In the Library of Upsala, Sweden, there’s a preserved translation of the Four Gospels printed with metal types on violet-colored vellum. The letters are silver, which is why it's called Codex Argenteus. The initial letters are in gold. It's believed that the whole thing was printed in a similar way to how bookbinders label the titles of books on their spines. This was a very close step to discovering the art of printing, but its age is unknown.
BOOK AMATEURS.
It was the Abbé Rive, librarian to the Duke de la Vallière, who made the following classification:—
It was the Abbé Rive, the librarian for the Duke de la Vallière, who created the following classification:—
A Bibliognoste is one knowing in title-pages and colophons, 723and in editions; when and where printed; the presses whence issued; and all the minutiæ of a book.
A Bibliognoste is someone who knows about title pages and colophons, 723 as well as editions; when and where they were printed; the presses that published them; and all the details about a book.
A Bibliographe is a describer of books and other literary arrangements.
A Bibliography is someone who describes books and other literary works.
A Bibliomane is an indiscriminate accumulator, who blunders faster than he buys, cock-brained and purse-heavy.
A Book lover is a careless collector who grabs books faster than he can read them, clueless and rich.
A Bibliophile, the lover of books, is the only one in the class who appears to read them for his own pleasure.
A Bibliophile, someone who loves books, is the only person in the class who seems to read them for his own enjoyment.
A Bibliotaphe buries his books, by keeping them under lock, or framing them in glass cases.
A Bibliotaphe hides his books by keeping them locked up or displaying them in glass cases.
Literariana.
THE LETTERS OF JUNIUS.
“Junius” was the name or signature of a writer who published, at intervals between 1769 and 1772, a series of political papers on the leading questions and men of that day. They appeared in the newspaper called the Public Advertiser, and attracted immense attention, partly from the high position of the characters assailed, (among whom was George III. himself,) and still more from their brilliancy of style, their boldness of tone, and the tremendous severity of the invectives employed in them. The letters are still models of that species of writing,—though it has since risen to such a point of excellence generally as would greatly weaken the force of any similar phenomena if appearing in our day. However, from the monarch to the meanest of his subjects, all men were impressed deeply at the time by the letters of Junius, the mystery attending their authorship adding largely to their influence. It was a mystery at the moment, and remains a puzzle still. Not even the publisher, Woodfall, knew who his correspondent was, or, at least, not certainly. Yet all the world felt the letters to be the work of no common man. Their most remarkable feature, 724indeed, was the intimate familiarity with high people and official life which they so clearly evinced. “A traitor in the camp!” was the cry of the leading statesmen of the period. Hence it occurred that almost every person of talent and eminence then living fell, or has since fallen, more or less under the suspicion of being Junius. But his own words to Woodfall have as yet proved true:—“It is not in the nature of things that you or anybody else should know me, unless I make myself known.” He adds that he never will do so. “I am the sole depository of my secret, and it shall die with me.” If it has not died with him, he at least has gone to the grave without its divulgement by himself. But there may still be circumstantial evidence sufficient to betray him, in despite of all his secretive care.
“Junius” was the name or signature of a writer who published, at intervals between 1769 and 1772, a series of political papers on the major issues and figures of that time. They appeared in the newspaper called the Public Advertiser and garnered immense attention, partly due to the high status of the individuals criticized (including King George III himself) and even more because of their brilliant style, bold tone, and the intense severity of the attacks made in them. The letters are still considered models of that type of writing—though it has since reached such a level of excellence that similar works today would likely lose much of their impact. However, from the monarch to the lowliest of his subjects, everyone was deeply affected by Junius's letters, with the mystery surrounding their authorship adding significantly to their influence. It was a mystery at the time, and it remains a puzzle still. Not even the publisher, Woodfall, knew who his correspondent was, or at least not definitively. Yet everyone felt that the letters were the work of an extraordinary person. Their most striking feature was the remarkable familiarity with high-profile individuals and official affairs that they clearly demonstrated. “A traitor in the camp!” was the cry of the leading statesmen of the time. As a result, nearly every prominent and talented figure alive then has fallen, or has since fallen, under some suspicion of being Junius. But his own words to Woodfall have proven to be true: “It is not in the nature of things that you or anyone else should know me, unless I make myself known.” He adds that he will never do so. “I am the sole keeper of my secret, and it shall die with me.” If it hasn’t died with him, he at least went to the grave without revealing it himself. However, there may still be enough circumstantial evidence to expose him, despite all his efforts to keep it secret.
In Rush’s Residence at the Court of London is preserved an anecdote relating to the authorship of Junius, of interest and apparent importance to the investigators of this vexed question. It is as follows:—
In Rush’s Residence at the Court of London is preserved an anecdote about who wrote Junius, which is intriguing and seems important to those looking into this puzzling issue. It goes like this:—
Mr. Canning related an anecdote pertinent to the topic, derived from the present king when Prince of Wales. It was to the following effect. The late king was in the habit of going to the theatre once a week at the time Junius’s Letters were appearing, and had a page in his service of the name of Ramus. This page always brought the play-bill in to the king at teatime, on the evenings when he went. On the evening before Sir Philip Francis sailed for India, Ramus handed to the king, at the same time when delivering the play-bill, a note from Garrick to Ramus, in which the former stated that there would be no more letters from Junius. This was found to be the very night on which Junius addressed his laconic note to Garrick, threatening him with vengeance. Sir Philip did embark for India next morning, and in point of fact the letters ceased to appear from that very day. The anecdote added that there lived with Sir Philip at the time a relation of Ramus, who sailed in the morning with him. The whole narrative excited much attention, and was new to most of the company. The first 725impression it made was, not only that it went far towards showing, by proof almost direct, that Sir Philip Francis was the author, but that Garrick must have been in the secret.
Mr. Canning shared a relevant story from the time when the current king was the Prince of Wales. Here's how it went: The late king used to go to the theater once a week while Junius’s Letters were being published and had a page named Ramus. This page always brought the playbill to the king during tea time on the nights he attended. The evening before Sir Philip Francis departed for India, Ramus handed the king a note from Garrick along with the playbill, in which Garrick mentioned that there would be no more letters from Junius. It turned out this was the very night when Junius sent a brief note to Garrick, threatening him with vengeance. Sir Philip did leave for India the next morning, and in fact, the letters stopped appearing from that day onward. The story also mentioned that a relative of Ramus was living with Sir Philip at the time and sailed with him in the morning. The whole narrative attracted a lot of attention and was new to most of those present. The first impression it made was not only that it strongly suggested Sir Philip Francis was the author but also that Garrick must have been in on the secret.
The Bengal Hurkaru, a Calcutta paper, dated Feb. 19, 1855, contains the following paragraph, which is the more interesting when taken in conjunction with several facts connected with Francis’s residence there, as a member of the council, for several years (1774–80).
The Bengal Hurkaru, a Calcutta newspaper, dated Feb. 19, 1855, includes this paragraph, which is especially interesting when considered alongside several facts related to Francis’s time living there as a council member for several years (1774–80).
“The Englishman (a military newspaper published in Calcutta) states that there is a gentleman in Calcutta who possesses ‘an original document, the publication of which would forever set at rest the vexata quæstio as to the authorship of the Letters of Junius.’ The document which we have seen is what our cotemporary describes it to be, and bears three signatures: that of ‘Chatham,’ on the right-hand side of the paper; and on the left, those of Dr. Wilmot, and J. Dunning, afterwards Lord Ashburton. The paper, the ink, and the writing all induce us to believe that the document is genuine; and we understand that the gentleman in whose possession it is has other documentary evidence corroborative of this, which still further tends to clear up the riddle which so many have attempted to read with small success.”
“The Englishman (a military newspaper published in Calcutta) reports that there is a man in Calcutta who has ‘an original document, the publication of which would forever settle the vexing question regarding the authorship of the Letters of Junius.’ The document we've seen matches the description provided by our contemporary, and it has three signatures: that of ‘Chatham’ on the right side of the page; and on the left, those of Dr. Wilmot and J. Dunning, who later became Lord Ashburton. The paper, the ink, and the handwriting all lead us to believe that the document is authentic; and we understand that the man who has it possesses other documentary evidence that supports this, which further helps to clarify the mystery that many have tried to solve with little success.”
The incident related by Mr. Canning acquires additional value and significance when considered in connection with the evidence in favor of Francis, so concisely drawn up by Macaulay in his Essay on the impeachment of Warren Hastings. After an introductory allusion to the disputed authorship, Macaulay goes on to say:—
The incident shared by Mr. Canning becomes even more valuable and meaningful when looked at alongside the evidence supporting Francis, which Macaulay summarizes clearly in his Essay on the impeachment of Warren Hastings. After briefly mentioning the debated authorship, Macaulay continues:—
The external evidence is, we think, such as would support a verdict in a civil, nay, in a criminal, proceeding. The handwriting of Junius is the very peculiar handwriting of Francis, slightly disguised. As to the position, pursuits, and connections of Junius, the following are the most important facts which can be considered as clearly proved: first, that he was acquainted with the technical forms of the Secretary of State’s office; secondly, that he was intimately acquainted with the 726business of the War Office; thirdly, that he, during the year 1770, attended debates in the House of Lords, and took notes of speeches, particularly of the speeches of Lord Chatham; fourthly, that he bitterly resented the appointment of Mr. Chamier to the place of Deputy Secretary at War; fifthly, that he was bound by some strong tie to the first Lord Holland. Now, Francis passed some years in the Secretary of State’s office. He was subsequently chief clerk of the War Office. He repeatedly mentioned that he had himself, in 1770, heard speeches of Lord Chatham; and some of those speeches were actually printed from his notes. He resigned his clerkship at the War Office from resentment at the appointment of Mr. Chamier. It was by Lord Holland that he was first introduced into the public service. Now, here are five marks, all of which ought to be found in Junius. They are all five found in Francis. We do not believe that more than two of them can be found in any other person whatever. If this argument does not settle the question, there is an end of all reasoning on circumstantial evidence.
The external evidence, we believe, is strong enough to support a verdict in both civil and even criminal cases. The handwriting of Junius matches the unique handwriting of Francis, just slightly altered. Regarding Junius’s background, activities, and connections, here are the key facts that are clearly established: first, he was familiar with the official procedures of the Secretary of State’s office; second, he had an in-depth understanding of the War Office’s operations; third, in 1770, he attended debates in the House of Lords and took notes on speeches, especially those by Lord Chatham; fourth, he strongly opposed the appointment of Mr. Chamier as Deputy Secretary at War; and fifth, he had a strong connection to the first Lord Holland. Francis worked for several years in the Secretary of State’s office and later became the chief clerk at the War Office. He often stated that he had listened to Lord Chatham's speeches in 1770, and some were even published from his notes. He resigned from his clerk position at the War Office out of anger at Mr. Chamier's appointment. Lord Holland was the one who first introduced him into public service. These five characteristics should all be found in Junius, and they are all present in Francis. We believe that no more than two of them can be associated with any other individual. If this argument doesn't resolve the issue, then we might as well abandon all reasoning based on circumstantial evidence.
The internal evidence seems to us to point the same way. The style of Francis bears a strong resemblance to that of Junius; nor are we disposed to admit, what is generally taken for granted, that the acknowledged compositions of Francis are very decidedly inferior to the anonymous letters. The argument from inferiority, at all events, is one which may be urged with at least equal force against every claimant that has ever been mentioned, with the single exception of Burke, who certainly was not Junius. And what conclusion, after all, can be drawn from mere inferiority? Every writer must produce his best work; and the interval between his best and his second-best work may be very wide indeed. Nobody will say that the best letters of Junius are more decidedly superior to the acknowledged works of Francis than three or four of Corneille’s tragedies to the rest; than three or four of Ben Jonson’s comedies to the rest; than the Pilgrim’s Progress to the other works of Bunyan; than Don Quixote to the other works of 727Cervantes. Nay, it is certain that the Man in the Mask, whoever he may have been, was a most unequal writer. To go no further than the letters which bear the signature of Junius,—the letter to the king and the letters to Horne Tooke have little in common except the asperity; and asperity was an ingredient seldom wanting either in the writings or in the speeches of Francis.
The internal evidence seems to point in the same direction. Francis's style closely resembles that of Junius; nor are we inclined to accept what is generally assumed, that the well-known works of Francis are clearly inferior to the anonymous letters. The argument from inferiority, in any case, can be made with at least equal strength against every person mentioned, except for Burke, who definitely was not Junius. And what conclusion can really be drawn from mere inferiority? Every writer produces their best work; the difference between their best and their second-best can be quite significant. Nobody would claim that the best letters of Junius are more clearly superior to the recognized works of Francis than three or four of Corneille's tragedies compared to the rest; than three or four of Ben Jonson's comedies compared to the rest; than The Pilgrim's Progress compared to Bunyan's other works; or than Don Quixote compared to Cervantes's other works. In fact, it is clear that the Man in the Mask, whoever he was, was a very inconsistent writer. Just looking at the letters signed by Junius—the letter to the king and the letters to Horne Tooke have little in common other than their harshness; and harshness was a quality often present in both the writings and speeches of Francis.
Indeed, one of the strongest reasons for believing that Francis was Junius is the moral resemblance between the two men. It is not difficult from the letters which, under various signatures, are known to have been written by Junius, and from his dealings with Woodfall and others, to form a tolerably correct notion of his character. He was clearly a man not destitute of real patriotism and magnanimity,—a man whose vices were not of a sordid kind. But he must also have been a man in the highest degree arrogant and insolent, a man prone to malevolence, and prone to the error of mistaking his malevolence for public virtue. “Doest thou well to be angry?” was the question asked in old time of the Hebrew prophet. And he answered, “I do well.” This was evidently the temper of Junius; and to this cause we attribute the savage cruelty which disgraces several of his letters. No man is so merciless as he who, under a strong self-delusion, confounds his antipathies with his duties. It may be added, that Junius, though allied with the democratic party by common enmities, was the very opposite of a democratic politician. While attacking individuals with a ferocity which perpetually violated all the laws of literary warfare, he regarded the most defective parts of old institutions with a respect amounting to pedantry, pleaded the cause of Old Sarum with fervor, and contemptuously told the capitalists of Manchester and Leeds that, if they wanted votes, they might buy land and become freeholders of Lancashire and Yorkshire. All this, we believe, might stand, with scarcely any change, for a character of Philip Francis.
Indeed, one of the strongest reasons for believing that Francis was Junius is the moral similarity between the two men. It’s not hard, based on the letters written by Junius under various names and his interactions with Woodfall and others, to form a fairly accurate picture of his character. He was clearly a man with genuine patriotism and nobility—someone whose flaws weren't of a petty nature. However, he must also have been incredibly arrogant and rude, someone who was inclined to malice and often confused his malice with public virtue. "Are you right to be angry?" was the question once posed to the Hebrew prophet. And he replied, "I am right." This was clearly the mindset of Junius; we attribute the brutal harshness that taints several of his letters to this attitude. No one is as unforgiving as someone who, in a strong self-delusion, mixes up their grudges with their responsibilities. Furthermore, Junius, although aligned with the democratic side through shared enemies, was the complete opposite of a democratic politician. While he attacked individuals with a ferocity that constantly broke the rules of literary conflict, he held the most flawed aspects of old institutions in a respect that bordered on obsession, passionately defended Old Sarum, and disdainfully told the capitalists of Manchester and Leeds that if they wanted votes, they should buy land and become landowners in Lancashire and Yorkshire. All of this, we believe, could easily apply, with hardly any changes, to the character of Philip Francis.
It is not strange that the great anonymous writer should have been willing at that time to leave the country which had 728been so powerfully stirred by his eloquence. Every thing had gone against him. That party which he clearly preferred to every other, the party of George Grenville, had been scattered by the death of its chief, and Lord Suffolk had led the greater part of it over to the ministerial benches. The ferment produced by the Middlesex election had gone down. Every faction must have been an object of aversion to Junius. His opinions on domestic affairs separated him from the Ministry, his opinions on colonial affairs from the Opposition. Under such circumstances, he had thrown down his pen in misanthropic despair. His farewell letter to Woodfall bears date January 19, 1773. In that letter he declared that he must be an idiot to write again; that he had meant well by the cause and the public; that both were given up; that there were not ten men who would act steadily together on any question. “But it is all alike,” he added, “vile and contemptible. You have never flinched, that I know of; and I shall always rejoice to hear of your prosperity.” These were the last words of Junius. Soon afterwards Sir Philip Francis started on his voyage to Bengal.
It's not surprising that the great anonymous writer would choose to leave the country that had been so deeply affected by his powerful words. Everything had turned against him. The party he clearly favored, led by George Grenville, had fallen apart after its leader's death, and Lord Suffolk had taken most of its members over to the government side. The turmoil from the Middlesex election had settled down. Every faction must have been distasteful to Junius. His views on domestic matters set him apart from the government, while his views on colonial issues distanced him from the Opposition. Given these circumstances, he put down his pen in bitter despair. His farewell letter to Woodfall is dated January 19, 1773. In that letter, he stated that he must be foolish to write again, that he had intended to support the cause and the public, but that both were lost causes, and that there weren't even ten people who could act consistently together on any issue. "But it’s all the same," he added, "vile and contemptible. You've never backed down, as far as I know, and I will always be glad to hear of your success." These were the final words of Junius. Soon after, Sir Philip Francis set off on his journey to Bengal.
One of the ablest articles in favor of Lord Chatham may be found in Hogg’s Instructor, already quoted from. The writer sums up his evidence in a masterly manner, and almost conclusively, were it not that he still leaves, like others who have preceded him, a large space for an entering wedge. Nay, more: he even divides the palm, and, though he gives the great William Pitt the chief glory, he intimates that Francis not only wrote some of the epistles, but originated “the idea of so operating on the public mind.” He says in his closing remarks, in answer to the question, “Had Sir Philip Francis no share in the Junian Letters?” “He certainly was privy, we imagine, to the whole business, and, indeed, very probably wrote some of the earlier and less important epistles. He had been private secretary to Chatham at one time, and was his friend, or rather idolizing follower, through life. But he was not Junius. He may even have begun the epistolary series, and may deserve 729the credit, perhaps, of having suggested the idea of so operating on the public mind. But still he was not Nominis Umbra himself. In answering the queries of Lord Campbell, Lady Francis, while owning that Sir Philip never called himself Junius to her, assumes nevertheless that he was that mystic being, but adds that after he had begun the letters a ‘new and powerful ally’ came to his assistance. The whole mystery is here laid bare. Lord Chatham is clearly the ally meant; and the testimony of Lady Francis, therefore, founded on the revelations of her husband, may be held as fully establishing our present hypothesis.”
One of the most compelling articles supporting Lord Chatham can be found in Hogg’s Instructor, which has already been referenced. The author summarizes his evidence in an impressive way, almost conclusively, if not for the fact that he still leaves a significant opening for further discussion. Additionally, he even shares the credit, stating that while he gives the great William Pitt most of the praise, he suggests that Francis not only wrote some of the letters but also came up with “the idea of influencing the public mind.” In his final comments, in response to the question, “Did Sir Philip Francis have any role in the Junian Letters?” he says, “He certainly was aware, we believe, of the whole business, and, in fact, likely wrote some of the earlier and less significant letters. He had been Chatham’s private secretary at one point and remained his friend, or rather, devoted follower, throughout his life. However, he was not Junius. He may have even started the letter series and could deserve some credit for suggesting the idea of influencing public opinion. But still, he was not Shadow of the Name himself. When responding to Lord Campbell's questions, Lady Francis, while admitting that Sir Philip never referred to himself as Junius to her, still assumes he was that enigmatic figure, but adds that after he began the letters, a ‘new and powerful ally’ came to his aid. The entire mystery is now revealed. Lord Chatham is clearly the ally being referenced; thus, Lady Francis’s testimony, based on her husband's insights, can be seen as solidly supporting our current theory.”
Yet Francis and Chatham both “died and left no sign:” the question is therefore still open to discussion, and, as a late writer has remarked, it is not a mere question of curiosity. He recommends it to the study of every barrister who wishes to make himself acquainted with the Theory of Evidence. There is scarcely a claim that has been put forward as yet, which he will not find worthy of his attention, especially when he considers the remarkable coincidences which have generally been the occasion of their being brought forward. He adds that he has during the last thirty years successively admitted the claims of five or six of the candidates, but that now he does not believe in one of them.
Yet Francis and Chatham both “died and left no sign:” the question is still open for discussion, and, as a recent writer has noted, it’s not just a matter of curiosity. He suggests it should be studied by every barrister who wants to understand the Theory of Evidence. There’s hardly a claim that has been presented so far that he won’t find worthy of his attention, especially when he considers the remarkable coincidences that have typically led to these claims being made. He mentions that over the last thirty years, he has consistently accepted the claims of five or six candidates, but now he doesn’t believe in any of them.
GRAY’S ELEGY.
The original MS. of this immortal poem was lately sold at auction in London. At a former sale (1845) it was purchased, together with the “Odes,” by a Mr. Penn. He gave $500 for the Elegy alone. He was proud, says the London Athenæum, of his purchase,—so proud, indeed, that binders were employed to inlay them on fine paper, bind them up in volumes of richly-tooled olive morocco with silk linings, and finally enclose each volume in a case of plain purple morocco. The order was carefully 730carried out, and the volumes were deposited at Stoke Pogis, in the great house adjoining the grave of Gray. The MS. of the Elegy is full of verbal alterations: it is the only copy known to exist, and is evidently Gray’s first grouping together of the stanzas as a whole. As the Elegy is known and admired by almost every one conversant with the English language, we select some of the verses, to show the alterations made by the author. The established text is printed in Roman type, the MS. readings as originally written, in Italics:—
The original manuscript of this timeless poem was recently auctioned in London. At a previous auction in 1845, it was bought, along with the “Odes,” by a Mr. Penn. He paid $500 just for the Elegy. According to the London Athenæum, he was very proud of his purchase—so proud that he had binders create beautiful editions on fine paper, binding them in richly-tooled olive morocco with silk linings, and finally placing each volume in a plain purple morocco case. The order was carefully executed, and the volumes were stored at Stoke Pogis, in the large house next to Gray's grave. The manuscript of the Elegy is filled with changes in wording; it’s the only known copy existing and clearly shows Gray’s initial arrangement of the stanzas as a complete work. Since the Elegy is known and appreciated by nearly everyone familiar with the English language, we’ve selected some verses to illustrate the changes made by the author. The established text is printed in Roman type, while the manuscript readings as originally written appear in Italics:—
In the original manuscript copy, after the eighteenth stanza, are the four following verses, which were evidently intended to complete the poem, but the idea of the hoary-headed swain occurring to the author, he rejected them:—
In the original manuscript copy, after the eighteenth stanza, are the four following verses, which were clearly meant to complete the poem, but the concept of the gray-haired shepherd came to the author, so he rejected them:—
After the twenty-fifth stanza was the following:—
After the twenty-fifth stanza, the following was:—
Preceding the epitaph was the following beautiful allusion to the rustic tomb of the village scholar:—
Preceding the epitaph was the following beautiful reference to the simple grave of the village scholar:—
Gray began the composition of this exquisite poem in 1742; but so carefully did he proceed, that it remained on his hands for seven years. It is believed to have been mostly written within the precincts of the church at Granchester, about two miles from Cambridge; and the curfew in the poet’s mind was accordingly the great bell of St. Mary’s, tolled regularly every evening at nine o’clock in Gray’s time and since.
Gray started writing this beautiful poem in 1742; however, he worked on it so meticulously that it stayed with him for seven years. It’s thought that most of it was written in the church area of Granchester, about two miles from Cambridge; and the curfew in the poet’s mind was the big bell of St. Mary’s, which rang every evening at nine o’clock during Gray’s time and still does.
As a piece of finished composition, possessing all the elements of true poetry, in conception, in illustration, in the mechanical structure of the verse, in the simplicity of the style, in the touching nature of the ideas, the Elegy won from the outset a fame which, as a century of time has but served to make it more certain and more illustrious, is likely to last as long as mankind have the feelings of mortality.
As a complete work, containing all the elements of true poetry— in its ideas, imagery, structure, simplicity, and emotional depth— the Elegy gained immediate fame. Over the past century, this reputation has only grown stronger and more distinguished, likely to endure as long as humanity grapples with the feelings of mortality.
As illustrations of the popularity of this poem, we may cite two historical incidents that will be interesting and acceptable to the reader.
As examples of how popular this poem is, we can mention two historical events that will be interesting and relatable to the reader.
On the night of September 13, 1759,—the night before the capture of Quebec by the English,—as the boats were floating down the river to the appointed landing, under cover of the night, and in the stillness of a silence constrained on pain of death, Gen. Wolfe, just arisen from a bed of sickness, harassed with the anxieties of a protracted yet fruitless campaign, and his mind filled with the present hazard, slowly and softly repeated its soothing lines; and he added to the officers around him, “Now, gentlemen, I would prefer being the author of that poem to the glory of beating the French to-morrow.”
On the night of September 13, 1759—the night before the English captured Quebec—as the boats drifted down the river to the designated landing, shrouded in darkness and silence that was forced upon them under threat of death, General Wolfe, just getting out of bed after being sick, troubled by the stress of a long and unsuccessful campaign, and focused on the dangers ahead, quietly recited its calming lines. He then told the officers around him, “Now, gentlemen, I would rather be the author of that poem than have the glory of defeating the French tomorrow.”
On the night of October 23, 1852,—the night before Daniel Webster’s death,—the great statesman, having already been 733informed by his medical attendant that nothing further could be done, except to render his last hours more quiet, said, somewhat indistinctly, the words, “Poetry, poetry,—Gray, Gray!” His son repeated the opening line of the Elegy, and Mr. Webster said, “That is it! that is it!” The volume was brought, and several stanzas of the poem were read to him, which gave him evident pleasure.
On the night of October 23, 1852—the night before Daniel Webster’s death—the great statesman, having already been told by his doctor that nothing more could be done except to make his final hours more peaceful, said somewhat faintly, “Poetry, poetry—Gray, Gray!” His son repeated the opening line of the Elegy, and Mr. Webster responded, “That’s it! That’s it!” The book was brought to him, and several stanzas of the poem were read, which clearly brought him joy.
Among the many who have sought notoriety by pinning themselves to the skirts of Gray is a Mr. Edwards, author of The Canons of Criticism. This gentleman, though a bachelor, was more attentive to the fair sex than the pindaric Elegist, and, thinking there was a defect in the immortal poem that should be supplied, wrote the following creditable stanzas, which remind one of Maud Muller, to be introduced immediately after “some Cromwell guiltless,” &c.
Among the many people who have tried to gain fame by attaching themselves to Gray is a Mr. Edwards, the author of The Canons of Criticism. This man, although a bachelor, paid more attention to women than the pindaric Elegist, and believing there was a flaw in the immortal poem that needed to be addressed, wrote the following commendable stanzas, which are reminiscent of Maud Muller, to be included right after “some Cromwell guiltless,” &c.
The following beautiful imitation, by an American poet, is the best that has ever been offered to supply another remarkable deficiency,—the absence of such reflections on the sublime truths and inspiring hopes of Christianity as the scene would naturally awaken in a pious mind. With the exception of two or three somewhat equivocal expressions, Gray says scarcely a word which might not have been said by any one who believed that death is an eternal sleep, and who was disposed to regard the humble tenants of those tombs as indeed “each in his narrow cell forever laid.” A supplement according so well with the Elegy, both in elevation of sentiment and force of diction, as the following, might appropriately have followed the stanza,—
The following beautiful imitation by an American poet is the best that has ever been created to address another notable lack—the absence of reflections on the profound truths and uplifting hopes of Christianity that the scene would naturally inspire in a thoughtful mind. Aside from two or three somewhat unclear phrases, Gray hardly says anything that couldn’t have been said by anyone who believed that death is an eternal sleep and who viewed the humble residents of those tombs as “each in his narrow cell forever laid.” A supplement that aligns so well with the Elegy, both in the depth of sentiment and strength of expression, as the following, could fittingly follow the stanza,—
SCENE FROM THE PARTING INTERVIEW OF HECTOR AND ANDROMACHE.
From the manuscript of Pope’s translation of Homer’s Iliad we select a passage, with its alterations and emendations, characteristic, 735like those of the foregoing, of the taste and precision of the author. It is interesting to note the variety of epithets, the imperfect idea, the gradual embellishment, and the critical erasures. But in their contemplation, rather than say, with Waller,—
From the manuscript of Pope’s translation of Homer’s Iliad, we choose a passage, showing its changes and corrections that reflect the author’s taste and precision. It’s interesting to see the range of epithets, the incomplete ideas, the gradual improvements, and the critical deletions. But in considering them, instead of saying, as Waller did,—
we should feel with Dr. Johnson, who remarked, upon examining the MSS. of Milton, that “such relics show how excellence is acquired: what we hope ever to do with ease we must learn first to do with diligence.” Johnson himself employed the limæ laborem on The Rambler to an extent almost incredible, and, according to Boswell, unknown in the annals of literature.
We should agree with Dr. Johnson, who noted when looking at Milton's manuscripts that "these remnants show how excellence is achieved: anything we hope to do effortlessly, we must first learn to do with hard work." Johnson himself used the work hard in The Rambler to an almost unbelievable extent, and, according to Boswell, this level of effort was unheard of in the history of literature.
Dr. Nash remarks that it is more difficult, and requires a greater mastery of art, in painting to foreshorten a figure exactly than to draw three at their just length; so it is more difficult in writing, to express any thing naturally and briefly than to enlarge and dilate.
Dr. Nash points out that it's harder and requires more skill in art to accurately foreshorten a figure than to draw three figures at their correct length; similarly, in writing, it's more challenging to express something naturally and concisely than to expand and elaborate.
In the established text will be found still further variations. These are marked below in Italics:—
In the established text, you will find additional variations. These are highlighted below in italics:—
POPE’S VERSIFICATION.
The mechanical structure of Pope’s verses may be shown by omitting dissyllabic qualifying words, which are comparatively unimportant, and converting a ten-syllable into an eight-syllable metre, as in the following examples. First read the full text as in the original, and then read with the words in brackets omitted:—
The mechanical structure of Pope’s verses can be illustrated by leaving out two-syllable qualifying words, which are relatively unimportant, and changing a ten-syllable meter into an eight-syllable meter, as seen in the following examples. First, read the full text as it appears in the original, and then read it with the words in brackets removed:—
Now turn from the Iliad to the Rape of the Lock:—
Now switch from the Iliad to the Rape of the Lock:—
IMPORTANCE OF PUNCTUATION.
The following passage occurs in Marlowe’s Edward II.:—
The following passage is from Marlowe's Edward II.:—
Mr. Collier appends the following note:—
Mr. Collier adds the following note:—
Sir J. Harington has an Epigram [L. i., E. 33] “Of writing with double pointing,” which is thus introduced:—“It is said that King Edward, of Carnarvon, lying at Berkely Castle, prisoner, a cardinal wrote to his keeper, Edwardum occidere noli, timere bonum est, which being read with the point at timere, it cost the king his life.”
Sir J. Harington has an Epigram [L. i., E. 33] "About writing with double meaning," which is introduced like this:—"It's said that King Edward, of Carnarvon, while imprisoned at Berkeley Castle, a cardinal wrote to his jailer, Don't kill Edward; it's good to be afraid., and when it was read with the emphasis on timer, it ended up costing the king his life."
The French have a proverb, Faute d’un point Martin perdit son ane, (through want of a point [or stop] Martin lost his ass,) equivalent to the English saying, A miss is as good as a mile. This proverb originated from the following circumstance:—A priest named Martin, being appointed abbot of a religious house called Asello, directed this inscription to be placed over his gate:—
The French have a saying, Due to a misstep, Martin lost his donkey., (for lack of a point, Martin lost his donkey), which is similar to the English saying, A miss is as good as a mile. This saying comes from the story of a priest named Martin, who was made the abbot of a religious house called Asello and ordered this inscription to be put up over his gate:—
But the ignorant painter, by placing the stop after the word nulli, entirely altered the sense of the verse, which then stood thus:—
But the clueless painter, by putting the stop after the word nulli, completely changed the meaning of the verse, which then read as follows:—
The Pope being informed of this uncharitable inscription, took up the matter in a very serious light, and deposed the abbot. His successor was careful to correct the punctuation of the 739verse, to which the following line was added:—
The Pope learned about this unkind inscription and took it very seriously, leading to the abbot's removal. His successor was careful to fix the punctuation of the 739verse, and added the following line:—
The word Asello having an equivocal sense, signifying an ass as well as the name of the abbey, its former signification has been adopted in the proverb.
The word Asello has a double meaning, referring both to a donkey and the name of the abbey, and its previous meaning has been used in the proverb.
A nice point has recently occupied the attention of the French courts of law. Mons. de M. died on the 27th of February, leaving a will, entirely in his own handwriting, which he concludes thus:—
A notable issue has recently caught the attention of the French courts. Mons. de M. passed away on February 27th, leaving behind a will, completely in his own handwriting, which he concludes this way:—
“And to testify my affection for my nephews Charles and Henri de M., I bequeath to each d’eux [i.e. of them] [or deux, i.e. two] hundred thousand francs.”
“And to show my love for my nephews Charles and Henri de M., I bequeath to each of them two hundred thousand francs.”
The paper was folded before the ink was dry, and the writing is blotted in many places. The legatees assert that the apostrophe is one of those blots; but the son and heir-at-law maintains, on the contrary, that the apostrophe is intentional. This apostrophe is worth to him two hundred thousand francs; and the difficulty is increased by the fact that there is nothing in the context that affords any clew to the real intention of the testator.
The paper was folded before the ink was dry, and there are smudges all over the writing. The beneficiaries claim that the apostrophe is one of those smudges, but the son and legal heir insists, on the other hand, that the apostrophe is deliberate. This apostrophe is worth two hundred thousand francs to him, and the situation is complicated by the fact that there’s nothing in the context that gives any hint to the testator’s true intention.
Properly punctuated, the following nonsense becomes sensible rhyme, and is doubtless as true as it is curious, though as it now stands it is very curious if true:—
Properly punctuated, the following nonsense turns into a sensible rhyme, and it's definitely as true as it is strange, though as it currently reads, it's very strange if it's true:—
The following is a good example of the unintelligible, produced by the want of pauses in their right places:—
The following is a good example of the confusion that arises from not having breaks in the right spots:—
Punctuated thus, the true meaning will at once appear:—
Punctuated like this, the real meaning will become clear right away:—
The wife of a mariner about to sail on a distant voyage sent a note to the clergyman of the parish, expressing the following meaning:—
The wife of a sailor who was about to embark on a long journey sent a message to the local priest, conveying the following sentiment:—
A husband going to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation.
A husband headed for the sea, and his wife asks for the congregation's prayers.
Unfortunately, the good matron was not skilled in punctuation, nor had the minister quick vision. He read the note as it was written:—
Unfortunately, the kind matron wasn’t great at punctuation, and the minister didn't have quick vision. He read the note exactly as it was written:—
A husband going to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation.
A husband visiting his wife wants the prayers of the congregation.
Horace Smith, speaking of the ancient Oracles, says, “If the presiding deities had not been shrewd punsters, or able to inspire the Pythoness with ready equivoques, the whole establishment must speedily have been declared bankrupt. Sometimes they only dabbled in accentuation, and accomplished their prophecies by the transposition of a stop, as in the well-known answer to a soldier inquiring his fate in the war for which he was about to embark. Ibis, redibis. Nunquam in bello peribis. (You will go, you will return. Never in war will you perish.) The warrior set off in high spirits upon the faith of this prediction, and fell in the first engagement, 741when his widow had the satisfaction of being informed that he should have put the full stop after the word nunquam, which would probably have put a full stop to his enterprise and saved his life.”
Horace Smith, talking about the ancient Oracles, says, “If the ruling deities hadn’t been clever jokesters, or able to inspire the Pythoness with quick wordplay, the whole setup would have quickly gone bankrupt. Sometimes they just played with punctuation and made their prophecies by moving around a comma, like in the famous response to a soldier asking about his fate in the war he was about to join. You will go, you will return. You will never die in battle. (You will go, you will return. You will never perish in war.) The soldier left in high spirits believing this prediction, but he fell in the first battle, 741 and his widow was left to find out that he should have placed the full stop after the word never, which would likely have ended his journey and saved his life.”
INDIAN HERALDRY.
A sanguine Frenchman had so high an opinion of the pleasure to be enjoyed in the study of heraldry, that he used to lament, as we are informed by Menage, the hard case of our forefather Adam, who could not possibly amuse himself by investigating that science or that of genealogy.
A cheerful Frenchman thought so highly of the joy that comes from studying heraldry that, according to Menage, he would often express sympathy for our ancestor Adam, who couldn’t enjoy delving into that field or genealogy.
A similar instance of egregious preference for a favorite study occurs in a curious work on Heraldry, published in London, in 1682, the author of which adduces, as an argument of the science of heraldry being founded on the universal propensities of human nature, the fact of having seen some American Indians with their skins tattooed in stripes parallel and crossed (barries). The book bears the following title:—Introductio ad Latinam Blasoniam. Authore Johanne Gibbono Armorumservulo quem a mantilio dicunt Cæruleo. The singular and amusing extract appended is copied from page 156:—
A similar case of obvious favoritism for a preferred subject appears in an interesting book on Heraldry, published in London in 1682. The author argues that the science of heraldry is based on universal human tendencies, noting that they have seen some American Indians with their skin tattooed in parallel and crossed stripes (barries). The book is titled:—Introduction to Latin Heraldry. By John Gibbons, the Herald, also known as the Blue Mantle. The unique and amusing excerpt provided is taken from page 156:—
The book entitled Jews in America tells you that the sachem and chief princes of the Nunkyganses, in New England, submitted to King Charles I., subscribing their names, and setting their seals, which were a BOW BENT, CHARGED WITH AN ARROW, a T reversed, A TOMAHAWK OR HATCHET ERECTED, such a one borne BARRYWISE, edge downward, and a FAWN. A great part of Anno 1659, till February the year following, I lived in Virginia, being most hospitably entertained by the honorable Col. R. Lee, sometime secretary of state there, and who after the king’s martyrdom hired a Dutch vessel, freighted her himself, and went to Brussels, surrendered up Sir William Barclaie’s old commission (for the government of that Province), and received a new one from his present majesty (a loyal action, and deserving my commemoration): neither will I omit his arms, being Gul. a Fes. chequy, 742or, Bl between eight billets Arg. being descended from the Lees of Shropshire, who sometimes bore eight billets, sometimes ten, and sometimes the Fesse Contercompone (as I have seen by our office-records). I will blason it thus: In Clypeo rutilo; Fasciam pluribus quadratis auri et cyani, alternis æquisque spaciis (ducter triplici positis) confectam et inter octo Plinthides argenteas collocatam. I say, while I lived in Virginia, I saw once a war-dance acted by the natives. The dancers were painted some party per pale Gul. et sab. from forehead to foot (some PARTY PER FESSE, of the same colors), and carried little ill-made shields of bark, also painted of those colors (for I saw no other), some PARTY PER FESSE, some PER PALE (and some BARRY), at which I exceedingly wondered, and concluded that heraldry was engrafted naturally into the sense of the human race. If so, it deserves a greater esteem than is now-a-days put upon it.
The book titled Jews in America mentions that the sachem and chief leaders of the Nunkyganses in New England submitted to King Charles I, signing their names and affixing their seals, which featured a Bent Bow, SHOT WITH AN ARROW, a T flipped, A tomahawk or hatchet displayed, positioned BARRYWISE with the edge down, and a FAWN. For a good part of the year 1659, until February of the following year, I lived in Virginia, where I was warmly welcomed by the honorable Col. R. Lee, who was once the secretary of state there. After the king’s execution, he chartered a Dutch ship, paid for it himself, and traveled to Brussels, relinquishing Sir William Barclaie's old commission (for governing that Province) and receiving a new one from the present king (a loyal act worth remembering). I won’t forget to mention his coat of arms, which features Gul. a Fes. chequy, 742or, Bl between eight billets Arg. He was descended from the Lees of Shropshire, who sometimes displayed eight posts, sometimes ten, and sometimes the Fesse Contercompone (as I have seen in our official records). I will describe it like this: In the red shield; it is made of strips of gold and cyan, arranged in alternating equal spaces (with three layers placed) and located among eight silver plinths. While I lived in Virginia, I once witnessed a war dance performed by the natives. The dancers were painted in a party divided vertically gold and silver. pattern from head to toe (some in a Party per fesse style, in the same colors) and carried poorly made shields of bark, also painted in those colors (as I saw no others), some in a PARTY PER FESSE design, some per pale (and some BARRY), which amazed me. I concluded that heraldry is naturally ingrained in the human sense. If that’s the case, it deserves more respect than it currently receives.
THE ANACHRONISMS OF SHAKSPEARE.
Poets, in the proper exercise of their art, may claim greater license of invention and speech, and far greater liberty of illustration and embellishment, than is allowed to the sober writer of history; but historical truth or chronological accuracy should not be entirely sacrificed to dramatic effect, especially when the poem is founded upon history, or designed generally to represent historical truth. In the matchless works of Shakspeare we look instinctively for exactness in the details of time, place, and circumstance; and it is therefore with no little surprise that we find he has misplaced, in such instances as the following, the chronological order of events, of the true state of which it can hardly be supposed he was ignorant.
Poets, in the true practice of their art, can take more creative freedom with their ideas and language, and have much greater freedom in their illustrations and embellishments than what is permitted for serious historians. However, historical accuracy or chronological truth shouldn’t be completely sacrificed for dramatic impact, especially when the poem is based on history or aims to represent historical reality. In the incomparable works of Shakespeare, we instinctively expect precision in the details of time, place, and circumstance; so it’s quite surprising to find that he has, in cases like the following, messed up the chronological order of events, of which it’s hard to believe he was unaware.
In the play of Coriolanus, Titus Lartius is made to say, addressing C. Marcius,—
In the play of Coriolanus, Titus Lartius says to C. Marcius,—
It is a little curious how Marcius could have been a soldier to “Cato’s wish,” for Marcius, surnamed Coriolanus, was banished from Rome and died more than two hundred years before Cato’s eyes first saw the light. In the same play Menenius 743says of Marcius, “He sits in his state as a thing made for Alexander,” or like Alexander. The anachronism made in this case is almost as bad as that just given, for Coriolanus was banished from Rome and died not far from B.C. 490, and Alexander was not born until almost one hundred and fifty years after. And the poet in the same play makes still another error in the words which he puts in the mouth of Menenius:—“The most sovereign prescription in Galen is but empiricutic.” Now, as the renowned “father of medicine” was not born until A.D. 130, of which fact it seems hardly probable that Shakspeare could have been ignorant, he has overleaped more than six hundred years to introduce Galen to his readers.
It’s a bit strange how Marcius could be considered a soldier “to Cato’s liking,” since Marcius, known as Coriolanus, was banished from Rome and died over two hundred years before Cato was born. In the same play, Menenius 743 remarks about Marcius, “He sits in his state like something made for Alexander,” or like Alexander. The anachronism in this case is almost as glaring as the previous one, since Coriolanus was banished from Rome and died around BCE 490, while Alexander wasn’t born until nearly one hundred and fifty years later. Additionally, the playwright makes another mistake in what he has Menenius say: “The most authoritative prescription in Galen is just empirical.” Given that the famous “father of medicine” wasn’t born until A.D. 130, it seems highly unlikely that Shakespeare could have been unaware of this, as he jumps over more than six hundred years to bring Galen into his narrative.
In the tragedy of Julius Cæsar occurs a historical inaccuracy which cannot be excused on the ground of dramatic effect. It must be imputed to downright carelessness. It is in the following lines:—
In the tragedy of Julius Cæsar, there's a historical mistake that can't be justified for the sake of drama. It's simply due to careless oversight. It appears in the following lines:—
Cassius and Brutus both must have been endowed with the vision of a prophet, for the first striking clock was not introduced into Europe until more than eight hundred years after they had been laid in their graves. And in the tragedy of King Lear there is an inaccuracy, in regard to spectacles, as great as that in Julius Cæsar respecting clocks. King Lear was king of Britain in the early Anglo-Saxon period of English history; yet Gloster, commanding his son to show him a letter which he holds in his hands, says, “Come, let’s see: if it be nothing, I shall not want spectacles.” It is generally admitted that spectacles were not worn in Europe until the end of the thirteenth or the commencement of the fourteenth century.
Cassius and Brutus must have had the insight of a prophet, because the first striking clock didn't come to Europe until over eight hundred years after they were buried. In the tragedy of King Lear, there’s a mistake about glasses that’s as significant as the one in Julius Cæsar concerning clocks. King Lear ruled Britain during the early Anglo-Saxon period of English history; yet Gloster, telling his son to show him a letter he’s holding, says, “Come, let’s see: if it’s nothing, I won’t need glasses.” It’s widely accepted that glasses weren't used in Europe until the late thirteenth or early fourteenth century.
Shakspeare also anticipates in at least two plays, and by many years, the important event of the first use of cannon in battle or siege. In his great tragedy of Macbeth, he speaks of cannon “overcharged with double cracks;” and King John says,—
Shakespeare also anticipates in at least two plays, and by many years, the important event of the first use of cannon in battle or siege. In his great tragedy of Macbeth, he speaks of cannon “overcharged with double cracks;” and King John says,—
Cannon, it will be recollected, were first used at Cressy, in 1346, whereas Macbeth was killed in 1054, and John did not begin to reign until 1199. In the Comedy of Errors, the scene of which is laid in the ancient city of Ephesus, mention is made of modern denominations of money, as guilders and ducats; also of a striking clock, and a nunnery.
Cannon, as you might remember, were first used at Cressy in 1346, while Macbeth was killed in 1054, and John didn’t start his reign until 1199. In the Comedy of Errors, set in the ancient city of Ephesus, there’s mention of modern types of money like guilders and ducats; there’s also a notable clock and a nunnery.
SHAKSPEARE’S HEROINES.
Ruskin says:—Shakspeare has no heroes—he has only heroines. There is not one entirely heroic figure in all his plays, except the slight sketch of Henry the Fifth, exaggerated for the purposes of the stage, and the still slighter Valentine in the Two Gentlemen of Verona. In his labored and perfect plays you have no hero. Othello would have been one, if his simplicity had not been so great as to leave him the prey of every base practice around him; but he is the only example even approximating the heroic type. Hamlet is indolent and drowsily speculative; Romeo an impatient boy. Whereas there is hardly a play that has not a perfect woman in it, steadfast in grave hope and errorless purpose. Cordelia, Desdemona, Isabella, Hermione, Imogene, Queen Katherine, Perdita, Silvia, Viola, Rosalind, Helena, and last, and perhaps loveliest, Virgilia, are all faultless.
Ruskin says:—Shakespeare has no heroes—he only has heroines. There isn't a single completely heroic character in any of his plays, except for the somewhat exaggerated portrayal of Henry the Fifth for dramatic effect, and the even less developed Valentine in the Two Gentlemen of Verona. In his crafted and flawless plays, you won't find a hero. Othello could have been one, but his naivety makes him an easy target for the deceit around him; he is the only character that comes close to the heroic ideal. Hamlet is lazy and lost in thought; Romeo is just an impulsive young man. On the other hand, there’s hardly a play that doesn’t feature a perfect woman, unwavering in her serious hope and righteous intentions. Cordelia, Desdemona, Isabella, Hermione, Imogene, Queen Katherine, Perdita, Silvia, Viola, Rosalind, Helena, and lastly, perhaps the most beautiful of all, Virgilia, are all impeccable.
SHAKSPEARE AND TYPOGRAPHY.
The great Caxton authority in England—Mr. William Blades—has turned his attention to Shakspeare, and applies his knowledge as a practical printer to the poet’s works, in order to see what acquaintance they show with the compositor’s art. The result is strikingly set forth in a volume entitled “Shakspeare and Typography.” Many instances of the use of technical terms by Shakspeare are cited by Mr. Blades, such as the following:—
The prominent Caxton expert in England—Mr. William Blades—has focused on Shakespeare and uses his practical printing knowledge to analyze the poet’s works, looking for signs of familiarity with the typesetting craft. The outcome is clearly presented in a book titled “Shakespeare and Typography.” Mr. Blades points out several instances where Shakespeare uses technical terms, including the following:—
1. “Come we to full points here? And are et ceteras nothing?—2 Henry IV., ii. 4.”
1. “Are we at full points here? And is etc. nothing?—2 Henry IV., ii. 4.”
7452. “If a book is folio, and two pages of type have been composed, they are placed in proper position upon the imposing stone, and enclosed within an iron or steel frame, called a ‘chase,’ small wedges of hard wood, termed ‘coigns’ or ‘quoins,’ being driven in at opposite sides to make all tight.
7452. “If a book is folio and two pages of text have been set up, they are positioned correctly on the imposing stone and secured within a metal frame called a ‘chase,’ with small wooden wedges, known as ‘coigns’ or ‘quoins,’ driven in at opposite sides to keep everything tight.
This is just the description of a form in folio, where two quoins on one side are always opposite to two quoins on the other, thus together joining and tightening all the separate stamps.”
This is just the description of a form in folio, where two corners on one side are always opposite two corners on the other, thus connecting and tightening all the separate stamps.
SHAKSPEARE’S SONNETS.
Schlegel says that sufficient use has not been made of Shakspeare’s Sonnets as important materials for his biography. Let us see to what conclusions they may lead us. In Sonnet XXXVII., for example, he says:—
Schlegel points out that Shakespeare's Sonnets haven't been fully utilized as valuable sources for his biography. Let's explore what insights they might offer us. In Sonnet XXXVII., for instance, he states:—
And again, in Sonnet LXXXIX.,—
And again, in Sonnet 89,—
Was Shakspeare lame? “A question to be asked;” and there is nothing in the inquiry repugnant to poetic justice, for he has made Julius Cæsar deaf in his left ear. Where did he get his authority?
Was Shakespeare lame? “That’s a question worth asking;” and there’s nothing about it that goes against poetic justice, since he made Julius Caesar deaf in his left ear. Where did he get his authority?
HAMLET’S AGE.
Shakspeare’s Hamlet was thirty years old, as is indicated by the text in Act. V. Sc. 1:—
Shakespeare's Hamlet was thirty years old, as noted in the text in Act V, Scene 1:—
Ham. How long hast thou been a grave-maker?
Ham. How long have you been a grave maker?
1 Clo. Of all the days i’ the year, I came to’t that day that our last King Hamlet o’ercame Fortinbras.
1 Cl. Of all the days in the year, I ended up on that day when our last King Hamlet defeated Fortinbras.
Ham. How long is that since?
Ham. How long ago is that?
1 Clo. Cannot you tell that? Every fool can tell that: it was the very day that young Hamlet was born: he that is mad and sent into England.
1 Clo. Can’t you see that? Any idiot can figure that out: it was the day young Hamlet was born—the one who's gone crazy and sent to England.
746Ham. Upon what ground?
Ham. On what basis?
1 Clo. Why, here in Denmark. I have been sexton here, man and boy thirty years.
1 Clo. Well, I'm here in Denmark. I've been the gravedigger here, both as a kid and an adult, for thirty years.
HAMLET’S INSANITY.
It is strange that there should be any doubts whether Hamlet was really or feignedly insane. His assertion to the Queen, after putting off his assumed tricks (iii. 4.),
It’s odd that there’s any question about whether Hamlet was actually insane or just pretending. His claim to the Queen, after dropping his fake antics (iii. 4.),
is surely admissible testimony. But he gives us other evidence based upon the difficulty of recalling a train of thought, an invariable accompaniment of insanity, inasmuch as it is an act in which both brains are concerned. He says,—
is definitely allowable evidence. But he provides us with other proof based on the challenge of keeping a train of thought, which is a constant sign of insanity, since it involves both brains. He states,—
There are no instances of insanity on record, however slight and uncognizable by any but an experienced medical man, where the patient, after relating a short history of his complaints, physical, moral, and social, could, on being requested to reiterate the narrative, follow the same series, and repeat the same words, even with the limited correctness of a sane person.[37]
There are no documented cases of insanity, no matter how minor and unrecognizable to anyone except an experienced medical professional, where the patient, after sharing a brief history of their complaints—physical, moral, and social—could, when asked to repeat the story, follow the same sequence and use the same words, even with the limited accuracy of a sane person.[37]
ADDITIONAL VERSES TO HOME, SWEET HOME.
In the winter of 1833, John Howard Payne, the author of Home, Sweet Home, called upon an American lady, the wife of an eminent banker living in London, and presented to her a copy of the original, set to music, with the two following additional verses addressed to her:—
In the winter of 1833, John Howard Payne, the author of Home, Sweet Home, visited an American lady, the wife of a prominent banker living in London, and gave her a copy of the original song, set to music, along with two extra verses written for her:—
THE STEREOTYPED FALSITIES OF HISTORY.
Thinking to amuse my father once, after his retirement from the ministry, I offered to read a book of history. “Any thing but history,” said he; “for history must be false.”—Walpoliana.
Thinking to entertain my father after he retired from the ministry, I suggested reading a history book. “Anything but history,” he replied; “because history has to be false.”—Walpoliana.
What massive volumes would the reiterated errors and falsities of history fill, could they be collected in one grand omniana! Historians in every period of the world, narrowed and biassed by surrounding circumstances, each in his pent-up Utica confined, have lacked the fairness and impartiality necessary to insure a full conviction of their truthfulness. Men not only suffer their opinions and their prejudices to mislead themselves and others, but frequently, in the absence of material, draw upon their imaginations for facts. Often, too, when sincerely desirous of presenting the truth so as to “nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice,” the sources of their information are lamentably deficient.
What huge volumes would the repeated mistakes and falsehoods of history fill if they could all be gathered in one grand omniana! Historians from every period of the world, limited by their circumstances and confined in their own perspectives, have lacked the fairness and impartiality needed to genuinely convey their accuracy. People not only let their opinions and biases misguide themselves and others, but often, when they lack the facts, they rely on their imaginations for facts. Even when they genuinely want to present the truth without exaggeration or malice, their sources of information are sadly insufficient.
The discrepancies of historical writers are very remarkable. If one who had never heard of Napoleon were to read Scott’s Life of the great military chieftain, and then read Abbott’s work, in what a maze of perplexity would he be involved between the disparagement of the one and the deification of the other! If one writer asserts that the Duke of Clarence was drowned in a butt of malmsey in the Tower of London, and another derisively treats it as a “childish improbability,” and if one expresses the belief that Richard of Gloucester exerted himself to save Clarence, and another that he was the actual murderer, who, or what, are we to believe?
The differences among historical writers are quite striking. If someone who had never heard of Napoleon read Scott’s Life of the great military leader and then read Abbott’s work, they would be utterly confused by the negative portrayal from one and the glorification from the other! If one author claims that the Duke of Clarence was drowned in a barrel of malmsey wine in the Tower of London, while another dismisses it as a “childish improbability,” and if one believes that Richard of Gloucester made an effort to save Clarence, while another claims he was the actual murderer, who or what are we supposed to believe?
748Knowing, as we do, that modern history abounds with errors, what are we to think of ancient history? If fraudulent and erroneous statements can be distinctly pointed out in Hume, and Lingard, and Alison, how far can we place any reliance upon Cæsar, and Herodotus, and Xenophon?
748Given that modern history is full of mistakes, what should we make of ancient history? If we can clearly identify false and incorrect claims in Hume, Lingard, and Alison, how much trust can we put in Cæsar, Herodotus, and Xenophon?
The monstrous absurdities and incongruities related of Xerxes, which have descended to our day under the name of history, are too stupendous for any credulity. The imposture, like vaulting ambition, “o’erleaps itself.” Such extravagant demands upon our faith serve to deepen our doubt of alleged occurrences that lie more nearly within the range of possibility. If it be true that Hannibal cut his way across the Alps with “fire, iron, and vinegar,” how did he apply the vinegar?
The outrageous absurdities and inconsistencies about Xerxes, which have reached us as history, are too incredible for anyone to believe. The deception, much like overwhelming ambition, "overreaches itself." Such extreme expectations of our belief only increase our skepticism about events that are actually more plausible. If it’s true that Hannibal made his way across the Alps with "fire, iron, and vinegar," how did he use the vinegar?
If falsities in our American history can creep upon us whilst our eyes are open to surrounding evidence, is it to be wondered at that there are so many contradictions and so many myths in the history of Rome? The very name America is a deception, a fraud, and a perpetuation of as rank injustice as ever stained the annals of human events. It is to be hoped that the time will yet come when Columbus shall receive his due. When that millennial day arrives which will insist on calling things by their right names, the battle of Bunker’s Hill will be called the battle of Breed’s Hill.
If lies in our American history can infiltrate our understanding even while we're aware of the evidence around us, can we be surprised that there are so many contradictions and myths in the history of Rome? The very name America is misleading, a trick, and a continuation of a deep injustice that has marred human history. We can only hope that the time will come when Columbus gets the recognition he deserves. When that day arrives, which will demand that we call things by their true names, the battle of Bunker’s Hill will instead be known as the battle of Breed’s Hill.
It seems incredible, and it certainly is singular, that so many errors in our history should continue to prevail in utter defiance of what is known to be fact. Historians, for instance, persist in saying, and people consequently persist in believing, that the breast-works of General Jackson at the battle of New Orleans were made of cotton-bales covered with earth, whilst intelligent survivors strenuously deny that there was a pound of that combustible material on the ground.[38] A well-known painting frequently
It seems unbelievable, and it really is unusual, that so many mistakes in our history continue to exist in complete contradiction to what we know to be true. Historians, for example, keep insisting, and people therefore keep believing, that General Jackson's defenses at the Battle of New Orleans were built from cotton bales covered with dirt, while knowledgeable survivors strongly deny that there was even a pound of that flammable material on the ground.[38] A well-known painting frequently
749copied by line-engravers represents Lord Cornwallis handing his sword to General Washington, at the surrender of Yorktown, and this in spite of the glaring fact that, to spare Cornwallis that humiliation, General O’Hara gave his sword to General Lincoln.
749 The engraving shows Lord Cornwallis giving his sword to General Washington during the surrender at Yorktown, even though, in reality, to avoid embarrassing Cornwallis, General O'Hara actually handed his sword to General Lincoln.
The blood shed at the battle of Lexington is commonly believed and said to have been the first drawn in the contest of the Colonists with the oppressive authorities of the British Government. Aside from the Boston massacre, which occurred March 5, 1770, it will be found, by reference to the records of Orange county, North Carolina, that a body of men was formed, called the “Regulators,” with the view of resisting the extortion of Colonel Fanning, clerk of the court, and other officers, who demanded illegal fees, issued false deeds, levied unauthorized taxes, &c.; that these men went to the court-house at Hillsboro’, appointed a schoolmaster named York as clerk, set up a mock judge, and pronounced judgment in mock gravity and ridicule of the court, law, and officers, by whom they felt themselves aggrieved; that soon after, the house, barn, and out-buildings of the judge were burned to the ground; and that Governor Tryon subsequently, with a small force, went to suppress the Regulators, with whom an engagement took place near Alamance Creek, on the road from Hillsboro’ to Salisbury, on the 16th of May, 1771,—nearly four years before the affair of Lexington,—in which nine Regulators and twenty-seven militia were killed, and many wounded,—fourteen of the latter being killed by one man, James Pugh, from behind a rock.
The blood shed at the battle of Lexington is widely believed to be the first drawn in the struggle of the Colonists against the oppressive British Government. Apart from the Boston Massacre on March 5, 1770, records from Orange County, North Carolina show that a group called the “Regulators” was formed to fight against the exploitation by Colonel Fanning, the court clerk, and other officials who demanded illegal fees, issued false deeds, and collected unauthorized taxes, among other abuses. These men went to the courthouse in Hillsboro, appointed a schoolteacher named York as their clerk, set up a mock judge, and mockingly delivered judgments to ridicule the court and its officials whom they felt had wronged them. Soon after, the judge's house, barn, and outbuildings were burned to the ground. Later, Governor Tryon, with a small force, sought to suppress the Regulators, leading to a confrontation near Alamance Creek, on the road from Hillsboro to Salisbury, on May 16, 1771—almost four years before the Lexington incident—in which nine Regulators and twenty-seven militia were killed, with many others wounded, fourteen of the latter being killed by a single man, James Pugh, from behind a rock.
750The progress of the natural and physical sciences, together with the increased facilities of intercommunication by steam, have done much towards disproving and exposing the fabulous stories of travelers. The extravagant character, for example, of the assertions of Fœrsch and Darwin in regard to the noxious emanations of the Bohun Upas is now shown by the fact that a specimen of it growing at Chiswick, England, may be approached with safety, and even handled, with a little precaution. It is equally well established that the famous Poison Valley in the island of Java affords the most remarkable natural example yet known of an atmosphere overloaded with carbonic acid gas, to which must be referred the destructive influence upon animal life heretofore attributed to the Upas-tree.
750The advancements in natural and physical sciences, along with improved travel methods like steam power, have greatly contributed to debunking and revealing the exaggerated tales of explorers. For instance, the wild claims made by Fœrsch and Darwin about the harmful effects of the Bohun Upas have been disproven by the fact that a specimen growing in Chiswick, England, can be approached safely and even touched with some care. It’s also well established that the infamous Poison Valley in Java provides the most notable natural example of an atmosphere filled with carbon dioxide, which is responsible for the harmful impact on animal life that was previously attributed to the Upas-tree.
CONFLICTING TESTIMONY OF EYE-WITNESSES.
Sir Walter Raleigh, in his prison, was composing the second volume of his History of the World. Leaning on the sill of his window, he meditated on the duties of the historian to mankind, when suddenly his attention was attracted by a disturbance in the court-yard before his cell. He saw one man strike another, whom he supposed by his dress to be an officer; the latter at once drew his sword and ran the former through the body. The wounded man felled his adversary with a stick, and then sank upon the pavement. At this juncture the guard came up and carried off the officer insensible, and then the corpse of the man who had been run through.
Sir Walter Raleigh, while in his prison, was working on the second volume of his History of the World. Leaning on the window sill, he reflected on the responsibilities of a historian to humanity, when suddenly he was distracted by a commotion in the courtyard outside his cell. He saw one man hit another, whom he guessed was an officer based on his uniform; the officer instantly drew his sword and stabbed the first man. The injured man knocked the officer down with a stick, then collapsed onto the pavement. At that moment, the guard arrived and carried off the unconscious officer, followed by the body of the man who had been stabbed.
Next day Raleigh was visited by an intimate friend, to whom he related the circumstances of the quarrel and its issue. To his astonishment, his friend unhesitatingly declared that the prisoner had mistaken the whole series of incidents which had passed before his eyes. The supposed officer was not an officer at all, but the servant of a foreign ambassador; it was he who had dealt the first blow; he had not drawn his sword, but the other had snatched it from his side, and had run him through the body before any one could interfere; whereupon a stranger 751from among the crowd knocked the murderer down with his stick, and some of the foreigners belonging to the ambassador’s retinue carried off the corpse. The friend of Raleigh added that government had ordered the arrest and immediate trial of the murderer, as the man assassinated was one of the principal servants of the Spanish ambassador.
The next day, Raleigh was visited by a close friend, to whom he shared the details of the quarrel and what happened afterward. To his surprise, his friend confidently stated that the prisoner had completely misunderstood the whole situation. The supposed officer wasn't an officer at all; he was actually the servant of a foreign ambassador. It was he who threw the first punch; he hadn’t drawn his sword, but the other person had grabbed it from his side and stabbed him before anyone could step in. Then, a stranger from the crowd knocked the murderer down with his stick, and some people from the ambassador’s entourage took the body away. Raleigh's friend mentioned that the government had ordered the arrest and immediate trial of the murderer since the victim was one of the main servants of the Spanish ambassador.
“Excuse me,” said Raleigh, “but I cannot have been deceived as you suppose, for I was eye-witness to the events which took place under my own window, and the man fell there on that spot where you see a paving-stone standing up above the rest.” “My dear Raleigh,” replied his friend, “I was sitting on that stone when the fray took place, and I received this slight scratch on my cheek in snatching the sword from the murderer, and upon my word of honor, you have been deceived upon every particular.”
“Excuse me,” Raleigh said, “but I can’t have been misled like you think, because I saw the events unfold right outside my window, and the man fell exactly where that paving stone is sticking up above the rest.” “My dear Raleigh,” his friend replied, “I was sitting on that stone when the fight happened, and I got this small scratch on my cheek while snatching the sword from the murderer, and I swear on my honor, you’ve been mistaken about everything.”
Sir Walter, when alone, took up the second volume of his History, which was in MS., and contemplating it, thought—“If I cannot believe my own eyes, how can I be assured of the truth of a tithe of the events which happened ages before I was born?” and he flung the manuscript into the fire.
Sir Walter, when alone, picked up the second volume of his history, which was handwritten, and while looking at it, thought, “If I can’t trust my own eyes, how can I be sure about the truth of even a fraction of the events that happened long before I was born?” He then tossed the manuscript into the fire.
WIT AND HUMOR.
The distinction between wit and humor may be said to consist in this,—that the characteristic of the latter is Nature, and of the former Art. Wit is more allied to intellect, and humor to imagination. Humor is a higher, finer, and more genial thing than wit. It is a combination of the laughable with tenderness, sympathy, and warm-heartedness. Pure wit is often ill-natured, and has a sting; but wit, sweetened by a kind, loving expression, becomes humor. Wit is usually brief, sharp, epigrammatic, and incisive, the fewer words the better; but humor, consisting more in the manner, is diffuse, and words are not spared in it. Carlyle says, “The essence of humor is sensibility, warm, tender fellow-feeling with all forms of existence;” and adds, of Jean Paul’s humor, that “in Richter’s smile itself a touching pathos may 752lie hid too deep for tears.” Wit may be considered as the distinctive feature of the French genius, and humor of the English; but to show how difficult it is to carry these distinctions out fairly, we may note that England has produced a Butler, one of the greatest of wits, and France a Molière, one of the greatest of humorists. Fun includes all those things that occasion laughter which are not included in the two former divisions. Buffoonery and mimicry come under this heading, and it has been observed that the author of a comedy is a wit, the comic actor a humorist, and the clown a buffoon. Old jests were usually tricks, and in coarse times we find that little distinction is made between joyousness and a malicious delight in the misfortunes of others. Civilization discountenances practical jokes, and refinement is required to keep laughter within bounds. As the world grows older, fun becomes less boisterous, and wit gains in point, so that we cannot agree with Cornelius O’Dowd when he says, “The day of witty people is gone by. If there be men clever enough nowadays to say smart things, they are too clever to say them. The world we live in prefers placidity to brilliancy, and a man like Curran in our present-day society would be as unwelcome as a pyrotechnist with a pocket full of squibs.” This is only a repetition of an old complaint, and its incorrectness is proved when we find the same thing said one hundred years ago. In a manuscript comedy, “In Foro,” by Lady Houstone, who died near the end of the last century, one of the characters observes: “Wit is nowadays out of fashion; people are well-bred, and talk upon a level; one does not at present find wit but in some old comedy.” In spite of Mr. Lever and Lady Houstone, we believe that civilized society is specially suited for the display of refined wit. Under such conditions satire is sure to flourish, for the pen takes the place of the sword, and we know it can slay an enemy as surely as steel. This notion owes its origin in part to an error in our mental perspective, by which we bring the wit of all ages to one focus, fancying what was really far apart to have been close together, and thus comparing things 753which possess no proper elements of comparison, and placing as it were in opposition to each other the accumulated, broad, and well-storied tapestry of the past with the fleeting moments of our day, which are but its still accumulating fringe. Charles Lamb will not allow any great antiquity for wit, and apostrophizing candle-light says: “This is our peculiar and household planet; wanting it, what savage, unsocial nights must our ancestors have spent, wintering in eaves and unillumined fastnesses! They must have laid about and grumbled at one another in the dark. What repartees could have passed, when you must have felt about for a smile, and handled a neighbor’s cheek to be sure he understood it! Jokes came in with candles.”
The difference between wit and humor can be summed up like this: humor is rooted in Nature, while wit is a product of Art. Wit relates more closely to intellect, whereas humor is tied to imagination. Humor is a more elevated, refined, and welcoming thing than wit. It blends laughter with tenderness, sympathy, and warmth. Pure wit can often be harsh and biting, but when infused with kindness and love, it transforms into humor. Wit tends to be brief, sharp, epigrammatic, and incisive—fewer words are often better. In contrast, humor is more about the style; it’s expansive, and words flow freely. Carlyle states, “The essence of humor is sensitivity, warm, tender kinship with all forms of existence,” and adds that in Jean Paul’s humor, “even Richter's smile might hide a touching pathos too deep for tears.” Wit can be seen as a hallmark of French genius, while humor is a quality of the English; however, it’s worth noting the difficulty in clearly defining these differences, as England has produced Butler, one of the greatest wits, and France has given us Molière, one of the greatest humorists. Fun encompasses all those things that make us laugh and aren't included in the previous categories. Buffoonery and mimicry fall under this category, and it’s been observed that the author of a comedy is a wit, the comic actor a humorist, and the clown a buffoon. In the past, jokes were often tricks, and in less refined times, there was little distinction between joy and a cruel delight in others' misfortunes. Civilization discourages practical jokes, and elegance is needed to keep laughter in check. As time goes on, fun becomes less raucous, and wit sharpens, leading us to disagree with Cornelius O’Dowd’s claim that “the age of witty people is over. If there are clever people nowadays who can make smart remarks, they’re too clever to share them. The world we live in prefers calmness over brilliance, and a man like Curran would now be as unwelcome as a firework expert with a pocket full of firecrackers.” This is simply an old complaint, and its inaccuracy is demonstrated by the fact that it was expressed a hundred years ago. In a manuscript comedy, “In Foro,” by Lady Houstone, who passed away near the end of the last century, one of the characters notes: “Wit is out of style these days; people are polite and speak on common ground; you hardly find wit except in old comedies.” Despite comments from Mr. Lever and Lady Houstone, we believe that civilized society is especially suited for showcasing refined wit. In such conditions, satire is bound to thrive, as the pen replaces the sword, and we know it can defeat an enemy just as effectively as a blade. This idea partly originates from a misperception, where we focus the wit of all ages into one spot, mistakenly believing that what was actually far apart was close together, leading to comparisons that lack proper basis, juxtaposing the rich, elaborate tapestry of the past against the fleeting moments of our present, which are merely its still-growing fringe. Charles Lamb refused to credit great antiquity to wit, and addressing candlelight he says: “This is our special household planet; without it, what savage, unsociable nights our ancestors must have endured, wintering in eaves and unlit hideouts! They must have lounged about and grumbled at one another in the dark. What clever comebacks could have been exchanged when one had to feel for a smile and touch a neighbor’s cheek to ensure he got it! Jokes arrived with candles.”
AN OLD PAPER.
The most amusing and remarkable paper ever printed was the Muse Historique, or Rhyming Gazette of Jacques Loret, which, for fifteen years, from 1650 to 1665, was issued weekly in Paris. It consisted of 550 verses summarizing the week’s news in rhyme, and treated of every class of subjects, grave and gay. Loret computed, in 1663, the thirteenth year of his enterprise, that he had written over 300,000 verses, and found more than 700 different exordiums, for he never twice began his Gazette with the same entère in matier. He ran about the city for his own news, never failed to write good verses upon it, and never had anybody to help him, and his prolonged and always equal performance has been pronounced unique in the history of journalism.
The most entertaining and remarkable publication ever released was the History Muse, or Rhyming Gazette of Jacques Loret, which was published weekly in Paris for fifteen years, from 1650 to 1665. It featured 550 verses summarizing the week's news in rhyme and covered a wide range of topics, both serious and lighthearted. In 1663, during the thirteenth year of his venture, Loret estimated that he had written over 300,000 verses and discovered more than 700 different openings, as he never started his Gazette the same way twice. He roamed the city for news, consistently wrote great verses about it, and never had anyone help him, making his sustained and consistently high-quality output unique in the history of journalism.
COMFORT FOR BOOK LOVERS.
Mr. Ruskin vigorously defends the bibliomaniac, in his Sesame and Lilies. We have despised literature. What do we, as a nation, care about books? How much do you think we spend altogether on our libraries, public or private, as compared with what we spend on our horses? If a man spends lavishly on his library you call him mad—a bibliomaniac. But you never call one a horse-maniac, though men ruin themselves 754every day by their horses; and you do not hear of people ruining themselves by their books. Or, to go lower still, how much do you think the contents of the book-shelves of the United Kingdom, public and private, would fetch as compared with the contents of its wine-cellars? What position would its expenditure on literature take as compared with its expenditure on luxurious eating? We talk of food for the mind as of food for the body; now, a good book contains such food inexhaustibly—it is a provision for life, and for the best part of us; yet how long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it! Though there have been men who have pinched their stomachs and bared their backs to buy a book, whose libraries were cheaper to them, I think, in the end, than most men’s dinners are. We are few of us put to such trial, and more the pity; for, indeed, a precious thing is all the more precious to us if it has been won by work or economy; and if public libraries were half as costly as public dinners, or books cost the tenth part of what bracelets do, even foolish men and women might sometimes suspect there was good in reading, as well as in munching and sparkling; whereas the very cheapness of literature is making even wiser people forget that if a book is worth reading it is worth buying.
Mr. Ruskin strongly defends bibliomaniacs in his Sesame and Lilies. We have looked down on literature. What do we, as a nation, really care about books? How much do you think we spend altogether on our libraries, public or private, compared to what we spend on our horses? If a person spends extravagantly on their library, they’re labeled as mad—a bibliomaniac. But no one calls someone a horse-maniac, even though many people ruin themselves every day because of their horses; and you don’t hear about people ruining themselves because of their books. Or, to go even lower, how much do you think the contents of the bookcases in the United Kingdom, public and private, would sell for compared to the contents of its wine cellars? What would its spending on literature look like compared to its spending on extravagant meals? We talk about food for the mind just like we talk about food for the body; and a good book has that kind of food in endless supply—it’s something you can live on and the best part of us; yet how long would most people look at a great book before they’d pay the price of a large fish for it? There have been people who have gone hungry and made sacrifices to buy a book, whose libraries ended up costing them less than most people’s dinners. Most of us are never faced with such choices, and that’s a shame; because truly, something precious is even more valuable to us if it’s been earned through hard work or saving; and if public libraries were half as expensive as public dinners, or if books cost a fraction of what jewelry does, even foolish men and women might start to realize there’s value in reading, just like there’s in eating and drinking; whereas the very affordability of literature is causing even smarter people to forget that if a book is worth reading, it’s worth buying.
LETTERS AND THEIR ENDINGS.
There is a large gamut of choice for endings, from the official “Your obedient servant,” and high and mighty “Your humble servant,” to the friendly “Yours truly,” “Yours sincerely,” and “Yours affectionately.” Some persons vary the form, and slightly intensify the expression by placing the word “yours” last, as “Faithfully yours.” James Howell used a great variety of endings, such as “Yours inviolably,” “Yours entirely,” “Your entire friend,” “Yours verily and invariably,” “Yours really,” “Yours in no vulgar way of friendship,” “Yours to dispose of,” “Yours while J. H.,” “Yours! Yours! Yours!” Walpole writes: “Yours very much,” “Yours most cordially,” and to 755Hannah More, in 1789, “Yours more and more.” Mr. Bright, some years ago ended a controversial letter in the following biting terms: “I am, sir, with whatever respect is due to you.” The old Board of Commissioners of the British Navy used a form of subscription very different from the ordinary official one. It was their habit to subscribe their letters (even letters of reproof) to such officers as were not of noble families or bore titles, “Your affectionate friends.” It is said that this practice was discontinued in consequence of a distinguished captain adding to his letter to the Board, “Your affectionate friend.” He was thereupon desired to discontinue the expression, when he replied, “I am, gentlemen, no longer your affectionate friend.”
There are many options for closing a letter, ranging from the formal “Your obedient servant” and the somewhat pompous “Your humble servant” to the more casual “Yours truly,” “Yours sincerely,” and “Yours affectionately.” Some people mix it up by putting “yours” at the end, like in “Faithfully yours.” James Howell used a wide range of closings, including “Yours inviolably,” “Yours entirely,” “Your entire friend,” “Yours verily and invariably,” “Yours really,” “Yours in no vulgar way of friendship,” “Yours to dispose of,” “Yours while J. H.,” and “Yours! Yours! Yours!” Walpole wrote “Yours very much,” “Yours most cordially,” and to Hannah More in 1789, “Yours more and more.” Mr. Bright ended a controversial letter some years ago with the sharp remark: “I am, sir, with whatever respect is due to you.” The old Board of Commissioners of the British Navy had a different way of signing letters than the usual formal style. They would often sign their letters (even those of reprimand) to officers who weren’t from noble families or didn’t hold titles with “Your affectionate friends.” It's said this practice stopped after a notable captain added to his letter to the Board, “Your affectionate friend.” He was then asked to stop using that phrase, to which he replied, “I am, gentlemen, no longer your affectionate friend.”
STUDIES AND BOOKS.
Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. Their chief use for delight is in privateness and retiring; for ornament, is in discourse; and for ability, is in the judgment and disposition of business, for expert men can execute and perhaps judge of business one by one; but the general counsels, and the plots and marshalling of affairs, come best from those that are learned. To spend too much time in studies is sloth; to use them too much for ornament is affectation; to make judgment wholly by their rules is the humor of a scholar: they perfect nature and are perfected by experience,—for natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience. Crafty wise men contemn studies, simple men admire them, and wise men use them; for they teach not their own use; but that is a wisdom without them, and above them, won by observation. Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested; i.e., some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, 756and some few to be read wholly and with diligence and attention. Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man; and therefore, if a man write little, he had need have a great memory; if he confer little, he had need have a present wit; and if he read little, he had need have much cunning to seem to know that he doth not.—Lord Bacon.
Studies are for enjoyment, for embellishment, and for skill. Their main purpose for enjoyment is in private and quiet moments; for embellishment, it’s in conversation; and for skill, it’s in the judgment and management of tasks, as knowledgeable individuals can handle and perhaps assess tasks individually. However, the best overall strategies and organization of matters come from those who are educated. Spending too much time studying is laziness; using studies solely for show is pretentiousness; and making decisions entirely based on their guidelines reflects a scholar's mindset. They enhance natural abilities, which also need refinement through experience—just like natural talents are like plants that need to be pruned by study. Furthermore, studies themselves offer guidelines that are too broad unless they are guided by experience. Clever individuals disregard studies, naive individuals admire them, and wise individuals use them; for studies do not teach their own application, but that wisdom comes from observation and goes beyond them. Read not to argue or refute, nor to blindly accept, nor to find conversation, but to ponder and reflect. Some books are meant to be sampled, others to be read entirely but not in detail, and a select few to be fully delved into with care and attention. Reading makes a comprehensive individual, discussions create a responsive individual, and writing shapes an accurate individual. Thus, if a person writes little, they must have a strong memory; if they engage in fewer discussions, they need sharp wit; and if they read little, they must have a lot of cleverness to appear knowledgeable about what they don't know.—Sir Francis Bacon.
Literati.
ATTAINMENTS OF LINGUISTS.
Taking the very highest estimate which has been offered of their attainments, the list of those who have been reputed to have possessed more than ten languages is a very short one. Only four, in addition to a case that will be presently mentioned,—Mithridates, Pico of Mirandola, Jonadab Almanor, and Sir William Jones,—are said in the loosest sense to have passed the limit of twenty. To the first two fame ascribes twenty-two, to the last two twenty-eight, languages. Müller, Niebuhr, Fulgence, Fresnel, and perhaps Sir John Bowring, are usually set down as knowing twenty languages. For Elihu Burritt and Csoma de Koros their admirers claim eighteen. Renaudot the controversialist is said to have known seventeen; Professor Lee, sixteen; and the attainments of the older linguists, as Arius Montanus, Martin del Rio, the converted Rabbi Libettas Cominetus, and the Admirable Crichton, are said to have ranged from this down to ten or twelve,—most of them the ordinary languages of learned and polite society.
Taking the highest estimate available of their skills, the number of people who are considered to have mastered more than ten languages is very small. Only four, along with a case that will be mentioned soon—Mithridates, Pico of Mirandola, Jonadab Almanor, and Sir William Jones—are said, in the broadest terms, to have surpassed the twenty-language mark. The first two are credited with twenty-two languages, while the last two are said to have mastered twenty-eight. Müller, Niebuhr, Fulgence, Fresnel, and possibly Sir John Bowring are typically noted as knowing twenty languages. Elihu Burritt and Csoma de Koros are claimed by their supporters to know eighteen. Renaudot the controversialist is said to have known seventeen, Professor Lee, sixteen, and the skills of older linguists like Arius Montanus, Martin del Rio, the converted Rabbi Libettas Cominetus, and the Admirable Crichton are reported to range from ten to twelve, mostly in the usual languages of educated and polite society.
The extraordinary case above alluded to is that of the Cardinal Mezzofanti, the son of a carpenter of Bologna, whose knowledge of languages seems almost miraculous. Von Zach, who made an occasional visit to Bologna in 1820, was accosted by the learned priest, as he then was, in Hungarian, then in good Saxon, and afterwards in the Austrian and Swabian dialects. With other members of the scientific corps the priest 757conversed in English, Russian, Polish, French, and Hungarian. Von Zach mentions that his German was so natural that a cultivated Hanoverian lady in the company expressed her surprise that a German should be a professor and librarian in an Italian university.
The remarkable case mentioned above is that of Cardinal Mezzofanti, the son of a carpenter from Bologna, whose ability to speak languages seems almost magical. Von Zach, who visited Bologna occasionally in 1820, was approached by the learned priest, who spoke to him first in Hungarian, then in fluent Saxon, and later in both Austrian and Swabian dialects. With other members of the scientific community, the priest conversed in English, Russian, Polish, French, and Hungarian. Von Zach noted that his German was so flawless that a cultured lady from Hanover in the group was surprised that a German could be a professor and librarian at an Italian university. 757
Professor Jacobs, of Gotha, was struck not only with the number of languages acquired by the “interpreter for Babel,” but at the facility with which he passed from one to the other, however opposite or cognate their structure.
Professor Jacobs, from Gotha, was amazed not just by the number of languages mastered by the “interpreter for Babel,” but also by how easily he switched from one to another, no matter how different or similar their structures were.
Dr. Tholuck heard him converse in German, Arabic, Spanish, Flemish, English, and Swedish, received from him an original distich in Persian, and found him studying Cornish. He heard him say that he had studied to some extent the Quichus, or old Peruvian, and that he was employed upon the Bimbarra. Dr. Wiseman met him on his way to receive lessons in California Indian from natives of that country. He heard “Nigger Dutch” from a Curaçoa mulatto, and in less than two weeks wrote a short piece of poetry for the mulatto to recite in his rude tongue. He knew something of Chippewa and Delaware, and learned the language of the Algonquin Indians. A Ceylon student remembers many of the strangers with whom Mezzofanti was in the habit of conversing in the Propaganda,—those whose vernaculars were Peguan, Abyssinian, Amharic, Syriac, Arabico, Maltese, Tamulic, Bulgarian, Albanian, besides others already named. His facility in accommodating himself to each new colloquist justifies the expression applied to him, as the “chamelion of languages.”
Dr. Tholuck heard him speaking in German, Arabic, Spanish, Flemish, English, and Swedish, received an original couplet in Persian from him, and found him studying Cornish. He heard him mention that he had studied the Quichua, or old Peruvian, to some extent and that he was working on the Bimbarra. Dr. Wiseman ran into him on his way to take lessons in California Indian from locals. He learned “Nigger Dutch” from a Curaçao mulatto and, in less than two weeks, wrote a short poem for the mulatto to recite in his basic tongue. He knew a bit of Chippewa and Delaware and picked up the language of the Algonquin Indians. A Ceylon student remembers many of the people with whom Mezzofanti regularly conversed at the Propaganda—those whose native languages included Peguan, Abyssinian, Amharic, Syriac, Arabic, Maltese, Tamulic, Bulgarian, Albanian, among others already mentioned. His ability to adapt to each new conversation partner justifies the description of him as the “chameleon of languages.”
Dr. Russell, Mezzofanti’s biographer, adopting as his definition of a thorough knowledge of language an ability to read it fluently and with ease, to write it correctly, and to speak it idiomatically, sums up the following estimate of the Cardinal’s acquisitions:—
Dr. Russell, Mezzofanti’s biographer, defines a thorough knowledge of language as the ability to read it fluently and easily, to write it correctly, and to speak it naturally. He summarizes the following assessment of the Cardinal’s language skills:—
1. Languages frequently tested and spoken by the Cardinal with rare excellence,—thirty.
1. Languages often spoken and tested by the Cardinal with exceptional skill—thirty.
2. Stated to have been spoken fluently, but hardly sufficiently tested,—nine.
2. Said to have been spoken fluently, but barely tested enough — nine.
3. Spoken rarely and less perfectly,—eleven.
3. Spoken rarely and less perfectly, — eleven.
7584. Spoken imperfectly; a few sentences and conversational forms,—eight.
7584. Spoken imperfectly; a few sentences and conversational forms—eight.
5. Studied from books, but not known to have been spoken,—fourteen.
5. Learned from books, but not known to have been said,—fourteen.
6. Dialects spoken, or their peculiarities understood,—thirty-nine dialects of ten languages, many of which might justly be described as different languages.
6. Dialects spoken, or their unique features understood,—thirty-nine dialects across ten languages, many of which could rightly be considered distinct languages.
This list adds up one hundred and eleven, exceeding by all comparison every thing related in history. The Cardinal said he made it a rule to learn every new grammar and apply himself to every strange dictionary that came within his reach. He did not appear to consider his prodigious talent so extraordinary as others did. “In addition to an excellent memory,” said he, “God has blessed me with an incredible flexibility of the organs of speech.” Another remark of his was, “that when one has learned ten or a dozen languages essentially different from one another, one may with a little study and attention learn any number of them.” Again he remarked, “If you wish to know how I preserve these languages, I can only say that when I once hear the meaning of a word in any language I never forget it.”
This list totals one hundred and eleven, far surpassing anything recorded in history. The Cardinal mentioned that he made it a point to learn every new grammar and to engage with every unfamiliar dictionary that came his way. He didn’t seem to think of his remarkable talent as being as extraordinary as others did. “Besides having an excellent memory,” he said, “God has also gifted me with an incredible flexibility of speech.” He also noted, “Once you’ve learned ten or a dozen languages that are fundamentally different from each other, with just a little study and attention, you can learn as many as you want.” He further added, “If you want to know how I maintain these languages, I can only say that once I hear the meaning of a word in any language, I never forget it.”
And yet it is not claimed for this man of many words that his ideas at all corresponded. He had twenty words for one idea, as he said of himself; but he seemed to agree with Catharine de Medicis in preferring to have twenty ideas for one word. He was remarkable for the number of languages which he had made his own, but was not distinguished as a grammarian, a lexicographer, a philologist, a philosopher, or ethnologist, and contributed nothing to any department of the study of words, much less that of science.
And yet, it's not claimed that this man of many words had ideas that matched. He said of himself that he had twenty words for one idea, but he seemed to agree with Catharine de Medicis in preferring to have twenty ideas for just one word. He was notable for the number of languages he had mastered, but he wasn't known as a grammarian, a lexicographer, a philologist, a philosopher, or an ethnologist, and he contributed nothing to any area of word study, much less to science.
LITERARY ODDITIES.
Racine composed his verses while walking about, reciting them in a loud voice. One day, while thus working at his play of Mithridates, in the Tuileries gardens, a crowd of workmen gathered around him, attracted by his gestures: they took him to be a madman about to throw himself into the basin. On his 759return home from such walks he would write down scene by scene, at first in prose, and when he had written it out, he would exclaim, “My tragedy is done!” considering the dressing of the acts up in verse as a very small affair. Magliabecchi, the learned librarian to the Duke of Tuscany, on the contrary, never stirred abroad, but lived amid books and upon books. They were his bed, board, and washing. He passed eight-and-forty years in their midst, only twice in the course of his life venturing beyond the walls of Florence,—once to go two leagues off, and the other time three and a half leagues, by order of the Grand Duke. He was an extremely frugal man, living upon eggs, bread, and water, in great moderation. Luther, when studying, always had his dog lying at his feet,—a dog he had brought from Wartburg and of which he was very fond. An ivory crucifix stood on the table before him, and the walls of his study were stuck round with caricatures of the Pope. He worked at his desk for days together without going out; but when fatigued, and the ideas began to stagnate in his brain, he would take his flute or his guitar with him into the porch, and there execute some musical fantasy, (for he was a skilful musician,) when the ideas would flow upon him as fresh as flowers after summer’s rain. Music was his invariable solace at such times. Indeed, Luther did not hesitate to say that, after theology, music was the first of arts. “Music,” said he, “is the art of the prophets: it is the only art which, like theology, can calm the agitation of the soul and put the devil to flight.” Next to music, if not before it, Luther loved children and flowers. The great, gnarled man had a heart as tender as a woman’s. Calvin studied in his bed. Every morning, at five or six o’clock, he had books, manuscripts, and papers carried to him there, and he worked on for hours together. If he had occasion to go out, on his return he undressed and went to bed again to continue his studies. In his later years he dictated his writings to secretaries. He rarely corrected any thing. The sentences issued complete from his mouth. If he felt his facility of composition leaving him, he forthwith quitted his bed, gave up writing and composing, 760and went about his outdoor duties for days, weeks, and months together. But as soon as he felt the inspiration fall upon him again, he went back to his bed, and his secretary set to work forthwith. Rousseau wrote his works early in the morning; Le Sage at mid-day; Byron at midnight. Villehardouin rose at four in the morning, and wrote till late at night. Aristotle was a tremendous worker: he took little sleep, and was constantly retrenching it. He had a contrivance by which he awoke early, and to awake was with him to commence work. Demosthenes passed three months in a cavern by the seaside, laboring to overcome the defects of his voice. There he read, studied, and declaimed. Rabelais composed his Life of Gargantua at Bellay, in the company of Roman cardinals, and under the eyes of the Bishop of Paris. La Fontaine wrote his fables chiefly under the shade of a tree, and sometimes by the side of Racine and Boileau. Pascal wrote most of his Thoughts on little scraps of paper, at his by-moments. Fénélon wrote his Telemachus in the Palace of Versailles, at the court of the Grand Monarque, when discharging the duties of tutor to the Dauphin. That a book so thoroughly democratic should have issued from such a source and been written by a priest may seem surprising. De Quincey first promulgated his notion of universal freedom of person and trade, and of throwing all taxes on the land,—the germ, perhaps, of the French Revolution,—in the boudoir of Madame de Pompadour! Bacon knelt down before composing his great work, and prayed for light from Heaven. Pope never could compose well without first declaiming for some time at the top of his voice, and thus rousing his nervous system to its fullest activity. The life of Leibnitz was one of reading, writing, and meditation. That was the secret of his prodigious knowledge. After an attack of gout, he confined himself to a diet of bread and milk. Often he slept in a chair, and rarely went to bed till after midnight. Sometimes he spent months without quitting his seat, where he slept by night and wrote by day. He had an ulcer in his right leg, which prevented his walking about even had he wished to do so.
Racine wrote his verses while strolling around, often reciting them loudly. One day, while working on his play Mithridates in the Tuileries gardens, a group of workers gathered around him, thinking he was a madman about to jump into the fountain. On his way home from these walks, he would jot down scene by scene, starting in prose, and once he finished, he would exclaim, “My tragedy is done!” seeing the task of putting the acts into verse as a minor detail. Magliabecchi, the learned librarian for the Duke of Tuscany, on the other hand, never ventured out, but lived surrounded by books. They were his bed, food, and personal care. He spent forty-eight years among them, only leaving Florence twice in his life—once to go two leagues away, and the second time three and a half leagues, per the Grand Duke's orders. He was extremely frugal, living on eggs, bread, and water in moderation. Luther, while studying, always had his dog lying by his feet—a dog he brought from Wartburg and adored. An ivory crucifix rested on the table in front of him, and his study walls were covered with caricatures of the Pope. He would work at his desk for days without stepping outside; but when he felt tired and his thoughts began to stagnate, he would take his flute or guitar to the porch and play some music (for he was a talented musician), finding inspiration flow back to him like fresh flowers after summer rain. Music was his reliable comfort during such times. In fact, Luther didn’t hesitate to say that after theology, music was the most important art. “Music,” he said, “is the art of the prophets: it is the only art that, like theology, can calm the soul’s turmoil and drive away the devil.” Right after music, if not before it, Luther loved children and flowers. This great, rugged man had a heart as tender as a woman’s. Calvin studied in bed. Every morning at five or six, he had books, manuscripts, and papers brought to him there, working for hours on end. If he needed to go out, he would come back, undress, and get back to bed to continue studying. In his later years, he dictated his writings to secretaries and rarely made corrections. His sentences flowed out complete. If he felt his ability to write leaving him, he would immediately get out of bed, stop writing, and attend to his outdoor duties for days, weeks, or even months. But as soon as inspiration struck him again, he would return to bed, and his secretary would start working right away. Rousseau wrote his works early in the morning; Le Sage wrote at noon; Byron wrote at midnight. Villehardouin rose at four in the morning and kept writing until late at night. Aristotle was a tremendous worker, sleeping little and constantly cutting back on it. He had a device to wake him up early, and to awaken was to begin working. Demosthenes spent three months in a seaside cave, working to overcome his voice defects. There, he read, studied, and practiced speeches. Rabelais wrote his Life of Gargantua at Bellay, among Roman cardinals and under the gaze of the Bishop of Paris. La Fontaine wrote most of his fables under a tree, sometimes next to Racine and Boileau. Pascal wrote most of his Thoughts on small bits of paper during his free moments. Fénélon wrote his Telemachus in the Palace of Versailles while serving as tutor to the Dauphin. It may seem surprising that such a democratic book came from a priest in that context. De Quincey first shared his idea of universal freedom of person and trade, along with placing all taxes on land—the seed of the French Revolution—while in the boudoir of Madame de Pompadour! Bacon knelt down to pray for inspiration from Heaven before writing his significant work. Pope could never compose well without first declaiming at the top of his voice for a while to energize his nervous system. Leibnitz led a life of reading, writing, and contemplation; that was the secret to his vast knowledge. After suffering from gout, he stuck to a diet of bread and milk. Often, he slept in a chair and rarely went to bed before midnight. Sometimes he spent months in his seat, sleeping at night and writing during the day. He had an ulcer on his right leg, which kept him from walking around even if he had wanted to.
CULTURE AND SACRIFICE.
The instruction of the world has been carried on by perpetual sacrifice. A grand army of teachers, authors, artists, schoolmasters, professors, heads of colleges—have been through ages carrying on war against ignorance; but no triumphal procession has been decreed to it, nor spoils of conquered provinces have come to its coffers; no crown imperial has invested it with pomp and power. In lonely watch-towers the fires of genius have burned, but to waste and consume the lamp of life, while they gave light to the world. It is no answer to say that the victims of intellectual toil, broken down in health and fortune, have counted their work a privilege and joy. As well deny the martyr’s sacrifice because he has joyed in his integrity. And many of the world’s intellectual benefactors have been martyrs. Socrates died in prison as a public malefactor; for the healing wisdom he offered his people, deadly poison was the reward. Homer had a lot, so obscure at least, that nobody knew his birthplace; and, indeed, some modern critics are denying that there ever was any Homer.
The education of the world has been driven by constant sacrifice. A vast army of teachers, writers, artists, schoolmasters, professors, and college leaders have been fighting against ignorance for ages; yet no grand celebration has been held for them, and no riches from conquered lands have filled their coffers; they haven’t been awarded a crown of glory or power. In isolated watchtowers, the flames of creativity have burned, consuming their own lives while illuminating the world. It’s not enough to say that the victims of intellectual struggle, who have suffered in health and wealth, see their work as a privilege and joy. That’s like denying a martyr’s sacrifice just because they took pride in their integrity. Many of the world’s intellectual benefactors have indeed been martyrs. Socrates died in prison as a convicted criminal; the wisdom he shared with his people was repaid with deadly poison. Homer’s background is so obscure that no one knows where he was born, and in fact, some modern critics even argue that there was never a Homer at all.
Plato traveled back and forth from his home in Athens to the court of the Syracuse tyrant, regarded indeed and feared, but persecuted and in peril of life; nay, and once sold for a slave. Cicero shared a worse fate. Dante all his life knew, as he expressed it,
Plato traveled back and forth from his home in Athens to the court of the tyrant of Syracuse, who was respected and feared, but also persecuted and in danger of his life; in fact, he was once sold into slavery. Cicero faced an even worse fate. Dante, throughout his life, knew, as he expressed it,
Copernicus and Galileo found science no more profitable than Dante found poetry. Shakspeare had a home, but too poorly endowed to stand long in his name after he left it; the income upon which he retired was barely two or three hundred pounds a year, and so little did his contemporaries know or think of him that the critics hunt in vain for the details of his private life. The mighty span of his large honors shrinks to an obscure myth of life in theatres in London or on the banks of the Avon.
Copernicus and Galileo found science just as unprofitable as Dante found poetry. Shakespeare had a home, but it was too modest to carry his name for long after he was gone; the income he lived on after retiring was only about two or three hundred pounds a year, and his contemporaries knew so little about him that critics struggle to find details about his private life. The vastness of his great achievements fades into an unclear myth of life in theaters in London or along the banks of the Avon.
A LITERARY SCREW.
An English paper says that Sharon Turner, author of the History of the Anglo-Saxons, who received three hundred pounds a year from Government as a literary pension, wrote his third volume of his Sacred History of the World upon paper which did not cost him a farthing. The copy consisted of torn and angular fragments of letters and notes, of covers of periodicals, gray, drab, or green, written in thick round hand over a small print; of shreds of curling-paper, unctuous with pomatum of bear’s grease, and of white wrappers in which his proofs had been sent from the printers. The paper, sometimes as thin as a bank-note, was written on both sides, and was so sodden with ink, plastered on with a pen worn to a stump, that hours were frequently wasted in discovering on which side of it certain sentences were written. Men condemned to work on it saw their dinner vanish in illimitable perspective, and first-rate hands groaned over it a whole day for tenpence. One poor fellow assured the writer of that paper that he could not earn enough upon it to pay his rent, and that he had seven mouths to fill besides his own. In the hope of mending matters in some degree, slips of stout white paper were sent frequently with the proofs; but the good gentleman could not afford to use them, and they never came back as copy. What an inveterate miser this old scribbler must have been, notwithstanding his pension and his copyrights!
An English article mentions that Sharon Turner, the author of the History of the Anglo-Saxons, who received three hundred pounds a year from the Government as a literary pension, wrote the third volume of his Sacred History of the World on paper that cost him nothing. The copy was made up of torn and jagged bits of letters and notes, covers of magazines in gray, drab, or green, written in thick, round handwriting over small print; scraps of curling paper, greasy with bear's grease pomade, and white wrappers that his proofs had been sent in from the printers. The paper, sometimes as thin as a banknote, was written on both sides and soaked with ink, applied using a pen worn down to a nub, making it often take hours to figure out on which side certain sentences were written. Those forced to work with it watched their meals fade into an endless distance, and skilled workers struggled over it all day for just ten pence. One poor guy told the writer of that article that he couldn’t make enough to pay his rent and that he had seven mouths to feed besides his own. In an attempt to improve the situation, they frequently sent sturdy white paper along with the proofs; however, the kind gentleman couldn't afford to use them, so they never came back as copy. What a persistent miser this old writer must have been, despite his pension and copyrights!
DRYDEN AND HIS PUBLISHER.
When Dryden had finished his translation of Virgil, after some self-deliberation, he sent the MS. to Jacob Tonson, requiring for it a certain sum, which he mentioned in a note. Tonson was desirous of possessing the work, but meanly wished to avail himself of Dryden’s necessities, which at that time were particularly urgent. He therefore informed the poet that he could not afford to give the sum demanded. Dryden, in reply, sent the following lines descriptive of Tonson:—
When Dryden completed his translation of Virgil, he took some time to think it over and then sent the manuscript to Jacob Tonson, requesting a specific amount, which he noted in a letter. Tonson was eager to acquire the work but unfairly tried to take advantage of Dryden's financial struggles, which were particularly pressing at that moment. He then told the poet that he couldn’t pay the amount Dryden asked for. In response, Dryden sent the following lines describing Tonson:—
When they were delivered to Tonson, he asked if Mr. Dryden had said any thing more. “Yes,” answered the bearer: “he said, ‘Tell the dog that he who wrote these lines can write more like them.’” Jacob immediately sent the money.
When they were delivered to Tonson, he asked if Mr. Dryden had said anything else. “Yes,” replied the messenger: “he said, ‘Tell the guy that the person who wrote these lines can write more just like them.’” Jacob immediately sent the money.
Personal Sketches and Anecdotes.
ANECDOTE OF WASHINGTON.
During General Washington’s administration, he almost daily attended his room, adjoining the Senate-chamber, and often arrived before the Senate organized. On one occasion, but before his arrival, Gouverneur Morris and some other senators were standing together, conversing on various topics, and, among them, the natural but majestic air of General Washington, when some one observed there was no man living who could take a liberty with him. The sprightly and bold Morris remarked, “I will bet a dozen of wine I can do that with impunity.” The bet was accepted.
During General Washington’s administration, he almost daily visited his room next to the Senate chamber and often got there before the Senate was in session. One time, before he arrived, Gouverneur Morris and a few other senators were gathered, chatting about different subjects, including the natural but impressive presence of General Washington, when someone mentioned that no one could take liberties with him. The lively and daring Morris said, “I’ll bet a dozen bottles of wine that I can do that without any consequences.” The bet was accepted.
Soon after, Washington appeared, and commenced an easy and pleasant conversation with one of the gentlemen, at a little distance from the others. While thus engaged, Morris, stepping up, in a jocund manner, familiarly tapped Washington on the shoulder, and said,—
Soon after, Washington showed up and started a relaxed and friendly chat with one of the guys, a short distance from the others. While they were talking, Morris approached him cheerfully, playfully tapped Washington on the shoulder, and said,—
“Good morning, old fellow!”
“Good morning, buddy!”
The General turned, and merely looked him in the face, without a word, when Morris, with all his assumed effrontery, stepped hastily back, in evident discomposure, and said:—
The General turned and just looked him in the eye, without saying anything, when Morris, with all his fake confidence, quickly stepped back, clearly flustered, and said:—
“Gentlemen, you have won the bet. I will never take such a liberty again!”
“Guys, you won the bet. I won’t ever overstep like that again!”
The writer obtained this fact from a member of the Senate, who witnessed the occurrence.
The writer got this information from a Senate member who saw the event happen.
ANECDOTE OF LAFAYETTE.
Shortly after Lafayette’s second return from America, he was at Versailles when the king was about to review a division of troops. Lafayette was invited to join in the review. He was dressed in the American uniform, and was standing by the side of the Duc de Condé, when the king, in his tour of conversation with the officers, came to him, and, after speaking on several topics, asked him questions about his uniform and the military costume in the United States. The king’s attention was attracted by a little medal, which was attached to his coat in the manner in which the insignia of orders are usually worn in Europe; and he asked what it was. Lafayette replied that it was a symbol which it was the custom of the foreign officers in the American service to wear, and that it bore a device. The king asked what was the device: to which Lafayette answered that there was no device common to all, but that each officer chose such as pleased his fancy. “And what has pleased your fancy?” inquired the king. “My device,” said the young general, pointing to his medal, “is a liberty-pole standing on a broken crown and sceptre.” The king smiled, and, with some pleasantry about the republican propensities of a French marquis in American uniform, turned the conversation to another topic. Condé looked grave, but said nothing.
Shortly after Lafayette’s second return from America, he was at Versailles when the king was about to review a division of troops. Lafayette was invited to join in the review. He was dressed in the American uniform and was standing next to the Duc de Condé when the king, while chatting with the officers, approached him and, after discussing several topics, asked him questions about his uniform and the military attire in the United States. The king noticed a small medal attached to his coat like the insignia of orders typically worn in Europe and asked what it was. Lafayette replied that it was a symbol that foreign officers in the American service wore, and that it featured a design. The king asked what the design was, to which Lafayette answered that there was no design common to all, but each officer chose one that pleased him. “And what has pleased your fancy?” the king inquired. “My design,” said the young general, pointing to his medal, “is a liberty-pole standing on a broken crown and scepter.” The king smiled and, making a light-hearted remark about the republican tendencies of a French marquis in American uniform, changed the subject. Condé looked serious but said nothing.
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE.
The name Napoleon, being written in Greek characters, will form seven different words, by dropping the first letter of each in succession:—
The name Napoleon, when written in Greek letters, will create seven different words by removing the first letter of each one in turn:—
These words make a complete sentence, meaning, Napoleon, the destroyer of whole cities, was the lion of his people.
These words form a complete sentence, meaning, Napoleon, the destroyer of entire cities, was the lion of his people.
MILTON AND NAPOLEON.
Napoleon Bonaparte declared to Sir Colin Campbell, who had charge of his person at the Isle of Elba, that he was a great admirer of Milton’s Paradise Lost, and that he had read 765it to some purpose, for that the plan of the battle of Austerlitz he borrowed from the sixth book of that work, where Satan brings his artillery to bear upon Michael and his angelic host with such direful effect:—
Napoleon Bonaparte told Sir Colin Campbell, who was responsible for his safety while he was on the Isle of Elba, that he really admired Milton’s Paradise Lost, and that he had read it thoroughly. He even said that he took the strategy for the battle of Austerlitz from the sixth book of that work, where Satan unleashes his artillery against Michael and his angelic army with devastating results:—
This new mode of warfare appeared to Bonaparte so likely to succeed, if applied to actual use, that he determined upon its adoption, and succeeded beyond expectation. By reference to the details of that battle, it will be found to assimilate so completely with Milton’s imaginary fight as to leave no doubt of the assertion.
This new way of fighting seemed so likely to work for Bonaparte, if put into practice, that he decided to go for it, and he succeeded even more than he expected. Looking at the details of that battle, you'll see it aligns so closely with Milton’s fictional battle that there's no doubt about this claim.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE OF NAPOLEON.
Captain Maitland gives the following description of the person of Napoleon, as he appeared on board the Bellerophon, in 1815:—
Captain Maitland provides the following description of Napoleon as he appeared on board the Bellerophon in 1815:—
He was then a remarkably strong, well-built man, about five feet seven inches high, his limbs particularly well formed, with a fine ankle and a very small foot, of which he seemed very vain, as he always wore, while on board the ship, silk stockings and shoes. His hands were also small, and had the plumpness of a woman’s rather than the robustness of a man’s. His eyes were light gray, his teeth good; and when he smiled, the expression of his countenance was highly pleasing; when under the influence of disappointment, however, it assumed a dark and gloomy cast. His hair was a very dark brown, nearly approaching to black, and, though a little thin on the top and front, had not a gray hair amongst it. His complexion was a very uncommon one, being of a light sallow color, different from any other I ever met with. From his being corpulent, he had lost much of his activity.
He was a remarkably strong, well-built man, about five feet seven inches tall, with particularly well-formed limbs, a nice ankle, and very small feet, which he seemed quite proud of, as he always wore silk stockings and shoes while on board the ship. His hands were also small and had the plumpness of a woman's rather than the sturdiness of a man's. His eyes were light gray, his teeth were good; and when he smiled, his expression was very pleasing; however, when he was disappointed, his face took on a dark and gloomy look. His hair was a very dark brown, almost black, and although it was a bit thin on the top and front, he didn't have a single gray hair. His complexion was quite unusual, having a light sallow color that I had never seen before. Because he was overweight, he had lost much of his agility.
HIS OPINION OF SUICIDE.
In the Journal of Dr. Warden, Surgeon of the Northumberland, the British frigate that conveyed Napoleon to St. Helena, 766are recorded the following remarkable sentiments of the imperial prisoner, as expressed to Warden:—
In the Journal of Dr. Warden, Surgeon of the Northumberland, the British frigate that brought Napoleon to St. Helena, 766 are noted the following significant thoughts of the imperial prisoner, as shared with Warden:—
In one paper, I am called a liar; in another, a tyrant; in a third, a monster; and in one of them, which I really did not expect, I am described as a coward; but it turned out, after all, that the writer did not accuse me of avoiding danger in the field of battle, or flying from an enemy, or fearing to face the menaces of fate and fortune; he did not charge me with wanting presence of mind in the hurry of battle, and in the suspense of conflicting armies. No such thing. I wanted courage, it seems, because I did not coolly take a dose of poison, or throw myself into the sea, or blow out my brains. The editor most certainly misunderstands me: I have, at least, too much courage for that.
In one article, I'm called a liar; in another, a tyrant; in a third, a monster; and in one of them, which I really didn’t expect, I’m labeled a coward; but it turned out, after all, that the writer didn’t accuse me of avoiding danger in battle, fleeing from an enemy, or being afraid to face the threats of fate and fortune; he didn’t claim I lacked presence of mind in the chaos of battle and the uncertainty of opposing armies. Nothing like that. Apparently, I lack courage because I didn’t calmly take a dose of poison, jump into the sea, or shoot myself. The editor definitely misunderstands me: I have, at the very least, too much courage for that.
On another occasion he expressed himself in the following terms:—
On another occasion, he said the following:—
Suicide is a crime the most revolting to my feelings, nor does any reason suggest itself to my understanding by which it can be justified. It certainly originates in that species of fear which we denominate poltroonery. For what claim can that man have to courage who trembles at the frowns of fortune? True heroism consists in being superior to the ills of life, in whatever shape they may challenge him to the combat.
Suicide is an act that deeply unsettles me, and I can’t think of any reason that would make it justifiable. It clearly comes from a type of fear we call cowardice. What kind of courage can someone have if they are afraid of what fate throws at them? True heroism lies in overcoming the hardships of life, no matter how they confront you.
DR. FRANKLIN’S WIFE.
Franklin, in a sketch of his life and habits, relates the following anecdote of his frugal and affectionate wife. A wife could scarcely make a prettier apology for purchasing her first piece of luxury.
Franklin, in a sketch of his life and habits, shares the following story about his frugal and loving wife. A wife could hardly come up with a nicer excuse for buying her first piece of luxury.
We have an English proverb, that says,—
We have an English saying that goes,—
It was lucky for me that I have one as much disposed to industry and frugality as myself. She assisted me cheerfully in my business, and in stitching pamphlets, tending shop, purchasing old linen rags for the paper-makers, &c. We kept no idle 767servant; our table was plain and simple; our furniture of the cheapest. For instance, my breakfast was for a long time bread and milk (no tea), and I ate it out of a two-penny earthen porringer, with a pewter spoon. But mark how luxury will enter families, and make a progress in spite of principle: being called one morning to breakfast, I found it in a china bowl, with a spoon of silver. They had been bought for me without my knowledge, by my wife, and had cost her the enormous sum of three-and-twenty shillings, for which she had no other excuse or apology to make but that she thought her husband deserved a silver spoon and china bowl as well as any of his neighbors. This was the first appearance of plate or china in our house, which afterwards, in the course of years, as our wealth increased, augmented gradually to several hundred pounds in value.
I was lucky to have a partner who was as hardworking and thrifty as I was. She happily helped me with my work, stitching pamphlets, running the shop, and buying old linen rags for the paper-makers, etc. We didn't have any idle servants; our meals were simple and our furniture was the cheapest we could find. For a long time, my breakfast was just bread and milk (no tea), and I ate it out of a cheap earthen bowl with a pewter spoon. But notice how luxury sneaks into families and makes its way in despite our principles: one morning at breakfast, I found it served in a china bowl with a silver spoon. My wife had bought them for me without telling me, and they had cost her a hefty twenty-three shillings, for which she had no excuse other than that she thought her husband deserved a silver spoon and china bowl just like any of our neighbors. This was the first time we had any silver or china in our home, which over the years, as our wealth grew, gradually increased to several hundred pounds in value.
MAJOR ANDRÉ.
In a satirical poem written by Major André some time prior to his arrest as a spy, he, curiously enough, alludes to the means of his own death. A newspaper published soon after the Revolutionary War gives some extracts from the poem, and calls it a “remarkable prophecy.” Could the ill-starred poet and soldier have looked into futurity and seen his own sad end, he would hardly have indulged in the humor which is indicated in his poem. The piece was entitled “The Cow-Chase,” and was suggested by the failure of an expedition undertaken by Wayne for the purpose of collecting cattle. Great liberties were taken with the names of the American officers employed on the occasion,—
In a satirical poem written by Major André sometime before his arrest as a spy, he interestingly references the way he would die. A newspaper published soon after the Revolutionary War includes some excerpts from the poem and refers to it as a “remarkable prophecy.” If the unfortunate poet and soldier had been able to see into the future and witness his own tragic fate, he likely wouldn’t have included the humor suggested in his poem. The piece was titled “The Cow-Chase” and was inspired by the failure of an expedition led by Wayne to gather cattle. Great liberties were taken with the names of the American officers involved in the event,—
But the point of his irony seemed particularly aimed at Wayne, whose entire baggage, he asserts, was taken along, comprising
But the point of his sarcasm seemed especially directed at Wayne, whose entire load, he claims, was brought along, including
768The satirist brings his doggerel to a close by observing that it is necessary to check the current of his satire,—
768The satirist wraps up his poem by noting that it's important to control the flow of his satire,—
AN ENGLISH VIEW OF ANDRÉ AND ARNOLD.
Many historians have been inclined to blame Washington for unnecessary severity in not acceding to the request of the prisoner (André), that he might be shot instead of hanged. We cannot agree with them: the ignominious death was decided upon by Washington—after much and anxious deliberation, and against his own feelings, which inclined to grant the prayer—as a strictly preventive punishment; and it had its effect. The social qualities and the letters of André, although they are always brought forward in his favor, do not extenuate but rather aggravate his crime, as they show that, whatever his moral principles may have been, he had the education of an English gentleman. If any thing, his memory has been treated with too great leniency. If monuments are to be erected in Westminster Abbey to men of such lax morality, it is time for honesty to hide its head.
Many historians tend to blame Washington for being unnecessarily harsh by refusing the prisoner (André) the request to be shot instead of hanged. We can’t agree with that view: Washington decided on the dishonorable death—after much careful thought and against his own feelings, which leaned toward granting the request—because it was meant as a preventive measure; and it had its impact. André's social skills and letters, which are often cited in his defense, don’t lessen but rather worsen his crime, as they show that, regardless of his moral beliefs, he had the upbringing of an English gentleman. If anything, his legacy has been treated too kindly. If monuments are to be erected in Westminster Abbey for men of such questionable morality, it’s time for honesty to retreat.
The conduct of Sir Henry Clinton, in receiving Arnold when he fled to the English ranks, and giving him a high command, is only in keeping with his countenance of the plot that cost André his life. Arnold, who seems to have been a miserable scoundrel, born to serve as a foil to the virtuous brightness of George Washington, might have redeemed his character by giving himself up in place of André, who was entrapped by Arnold’s cowardice and over-caution; but such a piece of self-sacrifice never entered his head. A villain himself, he never believed in the success of the struggle of honest men, and his conduct after obtaining the protection of Sir Henry Clinton proves this beyond a doubt. Let him rest with all his British honors thick upon him.—English Newspaper.
The actions of Sir Henry Clinton in welcoming Arnold when he defected to the British side and granting him a prominent position are consistent with his approval of the scheme that led to André's death. Arnold, who appears to have been a despicable person meant to contrast with the noble character of George Washington, could have restored his reputation by surrendering himself instead of André, who was caught because of Arnold’s cowardice and excessive caution; but such an act of selflessness never crossed his mind. Being a villain himself, he never had faith in the success of the fight for justice, and his behavior after gaining Sir Henry Clinton's protection demonstrates this clearly. Let him be remembered with all his British honors heaped upon him.—English Newspaper.
FLAMSTEED, THE ASTRONOMER ROYAL.
In the London Chronicle for Dec. 3, 1771, is the following anecdote of Dr. Flamsteed:—
In the London Chronicle for Dec. 3, 1771, is the following anecdote of Dr. Flamsteed:—
He was many years Astronomer Royal at Greenwich Observatory; a humorist, and of warm passions. Persons of his profession are often supposed, by the common people, to be capable of foretelling events. In this persuasion a poor washerwoman at Greenwich, who had been robbed at night of a large parcel of linen, to her almost ruin, if forced to pay for it, came to him, and with great anxiety earnestly requested him to use his art, to let her know where her things were, and who had robbed her. The Doctor happened to be in the humor to joke: he bid her stay: he would see what he could do; perhaps he might let her know where she could find them; but who the persons were, he would not undertake; as she could have no positive proof to convict them, it would be useless. He then set about drawing circles, squares, &c., to amuse her; and after some time told her if she would go into a particular field, that in such a part of it, in a dry ditch, she would find them all tumbled up in a sheet. The woman went, and found them; came with great haste and joy to thank the Doctor, and offered him half-a-crown as a token of gratitude, being as much as she could afford. The Doctor, surprised himself, told her: “Good woman, I am heartily glad you have found your linen; but I assure you I knew nothing of it, and intended only to joke with you, and then to have read you a lecture on the folly of applying to any person to know events not in human power to tell. But I see the devil has a mind that I should deal with him: I am determined I will not. Never come or send any one to me any more, on such occasions; for I will never attempt such an affair again whilst I live.”
He was the Astronomer Royal at Greenwich Observatory for many years; a jokester with strong passions. People in his profession are often thought by the public to be able to predict events. Believing this, a poor washerwoman from Greenwich, who had been robbed at night of a large bundle of laundry—putting her on the brink of financial ruin if she had to pay for it—went to him and, filled with worry, earnestly asked him to use his skills to find out where her things were and who had stolen them. The Doctor happened to be in a playful mood: he told her to wait; he would see what he could do; maybe he could help her find them, but he wouldn’t make any promises about identifying the thieves since she had no real evidence to prove anything, which would be pointless. He then started drawing circles, squares, etc., to entertain her, and after some time told her that if she went to a certain field, she would find her linen all bundled up in a dry ditch. The woman went and found it; she rushed back joyfully to thank the Doctor and offered him half a crown as a token of her gratitude, being all she could afford. The Doctor, surprised himself, said, “Good woman, I’m really glad you found your linen; but I assure you I had no idea about it and was just joking with you, and then I planned to lecture you on the foolishness of asking anyone to know things that are impossible to predict. But it seems like the devil wants me to deal with him: I’m determined not to. Do not come or send anyone to me again for such matters; I will never attempt anything like this again as long as I live.”
LORD NELSON’S SANG-FROID.
Jack was what they called loblolly boy on board the Victory. It was his duty to do anything and everything that was required—from 770sweeping and washing the deck, and saying amen to the chaplain, down to cleaning the guns, and helping the doctor to make pills and plasters, and mix medicines. Four days before the battle that was so glorious to England, but so fatal to its greatest hero, Jack was ordered by the doctor to fetch a bottle that was standing in a particular place. Jack ran off, post-haste, to the spot, where he found what appeared to be an empty bottle. Curiosity was uppermost; “What,” thought Jack, “can there be about this empty bottle?” He examined it carefully, but could not comprehend the mystery, so he thought that he would call in the aid of a candle to throw light on the subject. The bottle contained ether, and the result of the examination was that the vapor ignited, and the flames extended to some of the sails, and also to a part of the ship. There was a general confusion—running with buckets and what-not—and, to make matters worse, the fire was rapidly extending to the powder-magazine. During the hubbub, Lord Nelson was in the chief cabin writing dispatches. His lordship heard the noise—he couldn’t do otherwise—and so, in a loud voice, he called out, “What’s all that infernal noise about?” The boatswain answered, “My Lord, the loblolly boy’s set fire to an empty bottle, and it’s set fire to the ship.” “Oh!” said Nelson, “that’s all, is it? I thought the enemy had boarded us and taken us all prisoners—you and loblolly must put it out, and take care we’re not blown up! but pray make as little noise about it as you can, or I can’t go on with my dispatches,” and with these words Nelson went to his desk, and continued his writing with the greatest coolness.
Jack was what they called a loblolly boy on board the Victory. It was his job to do anything and everything that was needed—from sweeping and washing the deck, and saying amen to the chaplain, to cleaning the guns, and helping the doctor make pills and plasters, and mix medicines. Four days before the battle that was so glorious for England, but so deadly for its greatest hero, Jack was told by the doctor to grab a bottle that was in a specific spot. Jack rushed to the location, where he found what looked like an empty bottle. Curiosity got the better of him; “What,” thought Jack, “could be interesting about this empty bottle?” He examined it closely but couldn’t figure out the mystery, so he decided to use a candle to shed some light on it. The bottle contained ether, and when he examined it, the vapor ignited, spreading flames to some of the sails and parts of the ship. There was chaos—running with buckets and various attempts to control it—and to make matters worse, the fire was quickly reaching the powder magazine. Amid the chaos, Lord Nelson was in the main cabin writing dispatches. His lordship heard the commotion—he couldn’t ignore it—and so, in a loud voice, he called out, “What’s all that noise about?” The boatswain replied, “My Lord, the loblolly boy’s set fire to an empty bottle, and it’s igniting the ship.” “Oh!” said Nelson, “is that all? I thought the enemy had boarded us and taken us all prisoner—you and the loblolly boy need to put it out and make sure we’re not blown up! But please try to keep the noise down, or I can’t finish my dispatches,” and with that, Nelson returned to his desk and continued writing with complete calmness.
Crabb Robinson, in his Diary, speaking of Gœthe as the mightiest intellect that has shone on the earth for centuries, says: “It has been my rare good fortune to have seen a large proportion of the greatest minds of our age, in the fields of poetry and speculative philosophy, such as Wordsworth, Coleridge, Schiller, Tieck, but none that I have ever known came near him.”
Crabb Robinson, in his Diary, refers to Gœthe as the greatest intellect to have graced the earth for centuries, saying: “I’ve been incredibly lucky to see a significant number of the greatest minds of our time in poetry and speculative philosophy, like Wordsworth, Coleridge, Schiller, and Tieck, but none of them compare to him.”
MARTIN LUTHER.
Luther, in the lion-hearted daring of his conduct and in the robust and rugged grandeur of his faith, may well be considered as the Elijah of the Reformation; while his life, by the stern and solemn realities of his experiences, and the almost ideal evolutions of events by which it was accompanied, constitutes indeed the embodied Poem of European Protestantism.
Luther, with his brave and fearless actions and the strong, unwavering nature of his faith, can be seen as the Elijah of the Reformation. His life, shaped by the serious and profound realities of his experiences, along with the remarkable events that surrounded him, truly represents the essence of European Protestantism.
Heine sketches the following unique portrait of Luther:—
Heine paints a distinctive picture of Luther:—
He was at once a mystic dreamer and a man of action. His thoughts had not only wings, they had hands likewise. He spoke, and, rare thing, he also acted; he was at once the tongue and the sword of his age. At the same time he was a cold scholastic, a chopper of words, and an exalted prophet drunk with the word of God. When he had passed painfully through the day, wearing out his soul in dogmatical instructions, night come, he would take his flute, and, contemplating the stars, melt in melodies and pious thoughts. The same man who could abuse his adversaries like a fish-fag knew also how to use soft and tender language, like an amorous virgin. He was sometimes savage and impetuous as the hurricane that roots up oaks, then gentle and murmuring as the zephyr that lightly caresses the violets. He was full of the holy fear of God, ready for every sacrifice in honor of the Holy Spirit; he knew how to vault into the purest regions of the celestial kingdom; and yet he perfectly knew the magnificence of this earth: he could appreciate it, and from his mouth fell the famous proverb:—
He was both a mystical dreamer and a man of action. His thoughts had wings, but they also had hands. He spoke, and, unusually, he acted; he was both the voice and the weapon of his time. At the same time, he was a detached scholar, a master of words, and a passionate prophet filled with the word of God. After struggling through the day, exhausting his spirit in rigid teachings, night would come, and he would take his flute, gazing at the stars, lost in melodies and spiritual reflections. The same man who could insult his opponents like a crude fisherman also knew how to speak softly and tenderly, like a lovesick young woman. He could be as fierce and impulsive as a hurricane uprooting trees, then gentle and soothing like a breeze that lightly touches the violets. He was filled with a holy reverence for God, willing to make any sacrifice for the Holy Spirit; he knew how to soar into the purest realms of heaven, and yet he appreciated the beauty of this world: he could recognize its worth, and from his lips came the well-known proverb:—
772In short, he was a complete man. To call him a spiritualist would be to commit as great a mistake as it would be to call him a sensualist. What shall I say more? He had something about him clever, original, miraculous, inconceivable.
772In short, he was a well-rounded person. Calling him a spiritualist would be just as wrong as labeling him a sensualist. What else can I say? He had an essence that was smart, unique, extraordinary, and hard to grasp.
In an article on John de Wycliffe, in the North British Review, is the following paragraph:—
In an article about John de Wycliffe in the North British Review, there's this paragraph:—
Abundant as is our historical literature, and fond as our ablest writers have recently become of attempting careful and vivid renderings of the physiognomies of important historical personages, we are still without a set of thoroughly good portraits of the modern religious reformers of different nations, painted, as they might be, in series, so that the features of each may be compared with those of all the rest. Wycliffe, Huss, Savonarola, Luther, Zwingle, Calvin, Knox, and Cranmer,—all men coming under the same general designation,—all heroes of the same general movement; and yet what a contrast of physiognomies! Pre-eminent in the series will ever be Luther, the man of biggest frame and largest heart; the man of richest and most original genius; the great, soft, furious, musical, pliant, sociable, kiss-you, knock-you-down German. None of them all had such a face; none of them all said such things; of none of them all can you have such anecdotes, such a collection of ana.
As abundant as our historical literature is, and despite how much our best writers have recently enjoyed crafting careful and vivid depictions of important historical figures, we still lack a set of thoroughly good portraits of modern religious reformers from different countries, painted in a way that allows us to compare their features. Wycliffe, Huss, Savonarola, Luther, Zwingli, Calvin, Knox, and Cranmer—all men who fall under the same general label—all heroes of the same overarching movement; yet, what a contrast in their appearances! Leading the pack will always be Luther, the man with the largest frame and heart; the one with the richest and most original genius; the great, warm, passionate, musical, adaptable, friendly, “love you one minute, fight you the next” German. None of them had a face like his; none of them said the things he did; and there are no anecdotes like the ones you can find about him, no collection of ana that compares.
Luther, says another writer, speaking of his fondness for music, was not solely nor chiefly a theologian, or he had been no true reformer. As the cloister had not been able to bound his sympathies, so the controversial theatre could not circumscribe his honest ambition. He in whom “the Italian head was joined to the German body” would not only free the souls of men, but win the hearts of women and little children. Much had he to feel proud of during his busy life. It was no light thing to have waged successful combat with the most powerful hierarchy that the world had ever seen, or to have held in his hands the destinies of Europe. But dearer to his kind heart was the sound of his own verses sung to his own melodies, which rose from street and market-place, from highway 773and byway, chanted by laborers going to their daily work, during their hours of toil, and as they returned home at even-tide. How would it have gladdened his heart to have heard these same hymns, two hundred years later, sung by the miners of Cornwall and Gloucestershire!
Luther, another writer points out, had a love for music and wasn’t just a theologian, or he wouldn’t have been a true reformer. Just as the cloister couldn’t limit his empathy, the world of debate couldn’t restrict his sincere ambitions. The man who had “the Italian mind attached to the German spirit” aimed not only to free souls but also to touch the hearts of women and children. He had plenty to be proud of in his active life. It was no small feat to have successfully battled the most powerful hierarchy the world had ever known or to have influenced the future of Europe. But what meant more to his kind heart was hearing his own verses sung to his own tunes, echoing from the streets and markets, from highways and backroads, chanted by workers on their way to and from their daily labor. How his heart would have soared to hear those same hymns sung by the miners of Cornwall and Gloucestershire, two hundred years later!
“I always loved music,” said he: “whoso has skill in this art is of a good temperament, fitted for all things.” Many times he exemplified this power in his own person. When sore perplexed and in danger of life, he would drive away all gloomy thoughts by the magic of his own melodies. On that sad journey to Worms, when friends crowded round him and sought to change his purpose, warning him, with many tears, of the certain death that awaited him,—on the morning of that memorable 16th of April, when the towers of the ancient city appeared in sight,—the true-hearted man, rising in his chariot, broke forth with the words and music of that Marseillaise of the Reformation, Ein’ feste Burg ist unser Gott, which he had improvised two days before at Oppenheim,—the same stirring hymn that Gustavus Adolphus and the whole Swedish army sang a century later, on the morning of the battle of Lutzen:—
“I've always loved music,” he said. “Anyone skilled in this art has a good temperament and is suited for all things.” He often showed this strength through his own example. When he was deeply troubled and in danger, he would banish all dark thoughts with the magic of his own melodies. On that sorrowful journey to Worms, when friends surrounded him and tried to change his mind, tearfully warning him of the certain death that awaited him—on the morning of that unforgettable 16th of April, as the towers of the ancient city came into view—the true-hearted man, rising in his carriage, burst forth with the words and music of that anthem of the Reformation, A mighty fortress is our God, which he had composed just two days earlier in Oppenheim—the same stirring hymn that Gustavus Adolphus and the entire Swedish army sang a century later on the morning of the battle of Lutzen:—
QUEEN ELIZABETH.
Queen Bess is thus described in Sir John Hayward’s Annals:—
Queen Bess is described in Sir John Hayward’s Annals:—
Shee was a lady upon whom nature had bestowed, and well placed, many of her fayrest favours; of stature meane, slender, straight, and amiably composed; of such state in her carriage, as every motion of her seemed to beare majesty; her haire was inclined to pale yellow, her foreheade large and faire, and seeming seat for princely grace; her eyes lively and sweete, but short-sighted; her nose somewhat rising in the middest. The whole compasse of her countenance somewhat long, but yet of admirable beauty; not so much in that which is termed the flower of youth, as in a most delightful compositione of majesty and modesty in equall mixture.... Her vertues were such as might suffice to make an Ethiopian beautifull, which, the more man knows and understands, the more he shall love and admire. Shee was of divine witt, as well for depth of judgment, as for quick conceite and speedy expeditione; of eloquence as sweete in the utterance, as ready and 775easy to come to the utterance; of wonderful knowledge, both in learning and affayres; skilfull not only in Latine and Greeke, but alsoe in divers foraigne languages.
She was a lady who was naturally blessed with many of her finest qualities; of average height, slender, straight, and pleasantly formed; her graceful movements exuded a sense of majesty. Her hair was a light shade of yellow, her forehead large and beautiful, a fitting site for regal grace; her eyes were vibrant and sweet, but she was short-sighted; her nose had a slight upward curve in the center. Overall, her face was somewhat long but remarkably beautiful; not so much in terms of youthful charm, but in a delightful blend of majesty and modesty perfectly balanced. Her virtues were enough to make even an Ethiopian beautiful, and the more one got to know and understand her, the more one would love and admire her. She possessed a divine intellect, with deep judgment, quick wit, and a remarkable ability to act swiftly; she was eloquent, both sweet in her speech and ready when it came to expressing herself; she had wonderful knowledge in both academic subjects and practical matters, skilled not only in Latin and Greek but also in several foreign languages.
In Paul Heintzner’s Travels, 1598, is the following description:—
In Paul Heintzner’s Travels, 1598, is the following description:—
She was said to be fifty-five years old. Her face was rather long, white, and somewhat wrinkled; her eyes small, black, and gracious; her nose somewhat bent; her lips compressed; her teeth black (from eating too much sugar). She had earrings of pearls, red hair (but artificial), and wore a small crown. Her breast was uncovered (as is the case with all unmarried ladies in England), and round her neck was a chain with precious gems. Her hands were graceful, her fingers long. She was of middle size, but stepped on majestically. She was gracious and kind in her address. The dress she wore was of white silk, with pearls as large as beans. Her cloak was of black silk, with silver lace, and a long train was carried by a marchioness. She spoke English, French, and Italian; but she knew also Greek and Latin, and understood Spanish, Scotch, and Dutch. Wherever she turned her eyes, people fell on their knees. When she came to the door of the chapel, books were handed to her, and the people called out, “God save the Queen Elizabeth!” whereupon the Queen answered, “I thanke you, myn good peuple.”
She was said to be fifty-five years old. Her face was quite long, pale, and somewhat wrinkled; her eyes were small, dark, and kind; her nose was slightly bent; her lips were tight; her teeth were stained black (from eating too much sugar). She wore pearl earrings, had red hair (though it was dyed), and a small crown. Her chest was bare (as is customary for all unmarried women in England), and around her neck was a chain with precious gems. Her hands were elegant, and her fingers were long. She was average height but walked with a regal presence. She was gracious and kind in her speech. The dress she wore was white silk, adorned with pearls as big as beans. Her cloak was black silk, trimmed with silver lace, and a long train was carried by a marchioness. She spoke English, French, and Italian, and also knew Greek and Latin, with an understanding of Spanish, Scottish, and Dutch. Wherever she looked, people knelt. When she reached the chapel door, books were handed to her, and the crowd shouted, “God save Queen Elizabeth!” to which the Queen replied, “I thank you, my good people.”
Among the spirited repartees and impromptus of the queen which have descended to our time is her ingenious evasion of a direct answer to a theological question respecting the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper. On being asked by a Popish priest whether she allowed the real presence, she replied,—
Among the lively exchanges and spontaneous responses of the queen that have come down to us is her clever way of avoiding a direct answer to a theological question about the sacrament of the Lord's Supper. When a Catholic priest asked her if she accepted the real presence, she replied,—
In an old folio copy of the Arcadia, preserved at Wilton, have been found two interesting relics,—a lock of Queen Elizabeth’s hair, and some lines in the handwriting of Sir Philip Sidney. The hair was given by the queen to her young 776hero, who complimented her in return as follows:—
In an old folio copy of the Arcadia, kept at Wilton, two interesting items have been found— a lock of Queen Elizabeth’s hair and some lines written in the handwriting of Sir Philip Sidney. The queen gave the hair to her young hero, who returned the compliment as follows:—
The date of this exchange was 1583, when the queen was forty and the knight twenty-nine. Elizabeth’s hair is very fine, soft, and silky, with the undulation of water; its color, a fair auburn or golden brown, without a tinge of red, as her detractors assert. In every country under the sun, such hair would be pronounced beautiful.
The date of this exchange was 1583, when the queen was forty and the knight twenty-nine. Elizabeth’s hair is very fine, soft, and silky, flowing like water; its color is a light auburn or golden brown, without any hint of red, as her critics claim. In every country in the world, such hair would be considered beautiful.
SHAKSPEARE’S ORTHODOXY.
The numerous biographers of the immortal bard have said little or nothing of his religious character, leaving the inference that he was indifferent to religion and careless as to the future. They seem to forget such passages as his beautiful reference to Palestine in Henry IV.:—
The many biographers of the immortal bard have said little or nothing about his religious character, suggesting that he was indifferent to religion and careless about the future. They seem to overlook passages like his beautiful reference to Palestine in Henry IV.:—
Shakspeare’s will, written two months before his death, (April, 1616,) is remarkable for its evangelical character. He says:—
Shakespeare’s will, written two months before his death (April 1616), is notable for its faith-based nature. He states:—
“First, I commend my soul into the hands of God, my Creator, hoping, and assuredly believing, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Saviour, to be made partaker of life everlasting; and my body to the earth whereof it is made.”
“First, I entrust my soul to God, my Creator, hoping and fully believing, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Savior, to receive everlasting life; and I return my body to the earth from which it was made.”
Nor should we overlook the bond of Christian sympathy with his parish minister, Rev. Richard Byfield, whose church he constantly attended during his retirement at Stratford.
Nor should we forget the connection of Christian sympathy with his parish minister, Rev. Richard Byfield, whose church he regularly attended during his retirement in Stratford.
OLIVER CROMWELL.
The subjoined sketch of the person and character of the great Protector is from a letter of John Maidstone to Governor 777Winthrop, of Connecticut, written soon after Cromwell’s death:—
The following description of the person and character of the great Protector comes from a letter by John Maidstone to Governor 777 Winthrop of Connecticut, written shortly after Cromwell’s death:—
Before I pass further, pardon me in troubling you with the character of his person, which, by reason of my nearness to him, I had opportunity well to observe. His body was well compact and strong; his stature under six feet (I believe about two inches); his head so shaped as you might see it a storehouse and shop, both a vast treasury of natural parts. His temper exceeding fiery, as I have known; but the flame of it kept down for the most part, or soon allayed with those moral endowments he had. He was naturally compassionate towards objects in distress, even to an effeminate measure, though God had made him a heart wherein was left little room for any fear but what was due to himself, of which there was a large proportion; yet did he excel in tenderness towards sufferers. A larger soul, I think, hath seldom dwelt in a house of clay than his was. I do believe, if his story were impartially transmitted and the unprejudiced world well possessed with it, it would add him to her nine worthies and make that number a decemviri. He lived and died in comfortable communion with his seed, as judicious persons near him well observed. He was that Mordecai that sought the welfare of his people, and spake peace to his seed; yet were his temptations such as it appeared frequently that he that hath grace enough for many men may have too little for himself; the treasure he had being but in an earthen vessel, and that equally defiled with original sin as any other man’s nature is.
Before I go any further, I apologize for bothering you with a description of his character, which I've had the chance to observe closely due to my proximity to him. He was well-built and strong; I’d say he was just under six feet tall (maybe about two inches shorter). His head was shaped in such a way that it could be seen as a storehouse, filled with a vast treasury of natural talents. His temper was extremely fiery, as I’ve known; however, he mostly managed to keep it under control or quickly calm it with his strong moral qualities. He was naturally compassionate towards those in distress, to the point that some might say it was overly delicate, yet God had given him a heart that only had room for fears that truly concerned himself, which were considerable; still, he excelled in his tenderness towards those who were suffering. I believe that few have had a larger soul than his living in a human body. If his story were told fairly and the unbiased world understood it well, it would add him to the list of nine worthies and make that number ten. He lived and died in close, comfortable communication with his descendants, as wise people around him noted. He was like Mordecai, who cared for the welfare of his people and spoke peace to his descendants; yet, his temptations often showed that someone who has enough grace for many may have too little for themselves. The treasure he possessed was in an earthen vessel, just as flawed with original sin as any other person's nature.
The following newspaper notices in relation to Cromwell’s head are interesting:—
The following newspaper notices about Cromwell's head are interesting:—
The curious head of Cromwell, which Sir Joshua Reynolds has had the good fortune to procure, is to be shown to his majesty. How much would Charles the First have valued the man that would have brought him Cromwell’s head!—September, 1786.
The curious head of Cromwell, which Sir Joshua Reynolds has been lucky enough to acquire, is going to be shown to the king. How much would Charles the First have appreciated the person who brought him Cromwell’s head!—September, 1786.
The real embalmed head of the powerful and renowned 778usurper, Oliver Cromwell, styled Protector of the Commonwealth of England, Scotland, and Ireland; with the original dyes for the medals struck in honor of his victory at Dunbar, &c., &c., are now exhibiting at No. 5 in Mead Court, Old Bond Street (where the Rattlesnake was shown last year). A genuine narrative relating to the acquisition, concealment, and preservation of these articles to be had at the place of exhibition.—Morning Chronicle, March 18, 1799.
The actual embalmed head of the powerful and famous usurper, Oliver Cromwell, known as the Protector of the Commonwealth of England, Scotland, and Ireland; along with the original dyes for the medals made in honor of his victory at Dunbar, etc., is now on display at No. 5 in Mead Court, Old Bond Street (where the Rattlesnake was shown last year). A true story about how these items were acquired, hidden, and preserved is available at the exhibition.—Morning Chronicle, March 18, 1799.
Cromwell died at Hampton Court in 1658, giving the strongest evidence of his earnest religious convictions and of his sincerity as a Christian. After an imposing funeral pageant, the body having been embalmed, he was buried in Westminster. On the restoration of the Stuarts he was taken up and hung in Tyburn. Afterwards his head was cut off, a pike driven up through the neck and skull, and exposed on Westminster Hall. It remained there a long while, until, by some violence, the pike was broken and the head thrown down. It was picked up by a soldier and concealed, and afterwards conveyed to some friend, who kept it carefully for years. Through a succession of families, which can easily be traced, it has come into the possession of the daughter of Hon. Mr. Wilkinson, ex-member of Parliament from Buckingham and Bromley.
Cromwell died at Hampton Court in 1658, showing clear evidence of his deep religious beliefs and his genuine nature as a Christian. After an impressive funeral procession, his body was embalmed and buried in Westminster. Following the restoration of the Stuarts, his remains were taken down and hanged at Tyburn. Later, his head was severed, a pike was thrust through his neck and skull, and it was displayed at Westminster Hall. It stayed there for quite some time until, due to some force, the pike broke and the head fell down. A soldier picked it up and hid it, later passing it on to a friend who kept it safe for many years. Through a series of families, which can be easily traced, it eventually ended up with the daughter of Hon. Mr. Wilkinson, a former member of Parliament from Buckingham and Bromley.
The head is almost entire. The flesh is black and sunken, but the features are nearly perfect, and the hair still remains. Even the large wart over one of the eyes—a distinctive mark on his face—is yet perfectly visible. The pike which was thrust through the neck may still be seen, the upper part of iron, nearly rusted off, and the lower or wooden portion in splinters, showing that it was broken by some act of violence. It is known historically that Cromwell was embalmed; and no person thus cared for was ever publicly gibbeted except this illustrious man. It is a curious keepsake for a lady; but it is carefully preserved under lock and key in a box of great antiquity, wrapped in a number of costly envelopes. And when it is raised from its hiding-place and held in one’s hand, what a world of thought is suggested!
The head is almost intact. The flesh is black and sunken, but the features are nearly perfect, and the hair is still there. Even the large wart over one of the eyes—a defining mark on his face—is still clearly visible. The pike that was thrust through the neck can still be seen, with the upper iron part nearly rusted away and the lower wooden part splintered, indicating it was broken by some violent act. Historically, it's known that Cromwell was embalmed, and no other person who received such care was ever publicly hanged except for this remarkable man. It’s a strange keepsake for a woman, but it's carefully stored under lock and key in an ancient box, wrapped in several expensive envelopes. And when it’s brought out from its hiding place and held in one’s hand, it evokes a whole world of thoughts!
POPE’S SKULL.
William Howitt says that, by one of those acts which neither science nor curiosity can excuse, the skull of Pope is now in the private collection of a phrenologist. The manner in which it was obtained is said to have been this:—On some occasion of alteration in the church, or burial of some one in the same spot, the coffin of Pope was disinterred, and opened to see the state of the remains. By a bribe to the sexton of the time, possession of the skull was obtained for the night, and another skull was returned instead of it. Fifty pounds were paid to manage and carry through this transaction. Be that as it may, the skull of Pope figures in a private museum.
William Howitt states that, through an act that neither science nor curiosity can justify, Pope's skull is now part of a private phrenologist's collection. It is said that the way it was obtained was as follows: during some renovation in the church or the burial of someone in the same location, Pope's coffin was exhumed and opened to check the condition of the remains. By bribing the sexton at the time, they managed to get hold of the skull for one night and replaced it with another skull. Fifty pounds were paid to facilitate and execute this exchange. Regardless, Pope's skull is now displayed in a private museum.
WICKLIFFE’S ASHES.
The Council of Constance raised from the grave the bones of the immortal Wickliffe forty years after their interment, burned them to ashes, and threw them into a neighboring brook. “This brook,” says Fuller, “conveyed his ashes into Avon, Avon into Severn, Severn into the narrow seas, they into the main ocean; and thus the ashes of Wickliffe are the emblem of his doctrine, which now is dispersed all the world over.” “So,” says Foxe, “was he resolved into three elements, earth, fire, and water, thinking thereby utterly to extinguish both the name and doctrine of Wickliffe forever. But as there is no counsel against the Lord, so there is no keeping down of verity. It will spring and come out of dust and ashes, as appeared right well in this man; for, though they digged up his body, burnt his bones, and drowned his ashes, yet the word of God and truth of his doctrines, with the fruit and success thereof, they could not burn. They to this day remain.”
The Council of Constance exhumed the bones of the immortal Wycliffe forty years after they were buried, burned them to ashes, and dumped them into a nearby brook. "This brook," says Fuller, "carried his ashes into the Avon, the Avon into the Severn, the Severn into the narrow seas, and those into the open ocean; and so the ashes of Wycliffe became the symbol of his teachings, which are now spread all over the world." "Thus," says Foxe, "he was reduced to three elements: earth, fire, and water, thinking this would completely erase both the name and teachings of Wycliffe forever. But just as there is no plan that can stand against the Lord, there is no way to suppress the truth. It will rise up out of dust and ashes, as was clearly shown in this man; for although they dug up his body, burned his bones, and submerged his ashes, they could not destroy the Word of God and the truth of his teachings, along with their impact and success. They remain to this day."
Cardan, and Burton, the author of the Anatomy of Melancholy, who were famous for astrological skill, both suffered a voluntary death merely to verify their own predictions.
Cardan and Burton, the writer of the Anatomy of Melancholy, who were well-known for their astrological expertise, both chose to end their own lives just to prove their own predictions.
TALLEYRANDIANA.
A banker, anxious about the rise or fall of stocks, came once to Talleyrand for information respecting the truth of a rumor that George III. had suddenly died, when the statesman replied in a confidential tone: “I shall be delighted, if the information I have to give be of any use to you.” The banker was enchanted at the prospect of obtaining authentic intelligence from so high a source; and Talleyrand, with a mysterious air, continued: “Some say the King of England is dead; others, that he is not dead: for my own part, I believe neither the one nor the other. I tell you this in confidence, but do not commit me.”
A banker, worried about the ups and downs of stocks, once went to Talleyrand for confirmation of a rumor that George III had suddenly died. The statesman responded in a confidential tone, “I’d be happy to share information if it helps you.” The banker was thrilled at the chance to get reliable news from such a prominent source, and Talleyrand, with an air of mystery, continued: “Some people say the King of England is dead; others say he isn’t. Personally, I believe neither. I’m telling you this in confidence, so don’t hold me to it.”
During Talleyrand’s administration, when the seals of private letters were not very safe, the Spanish Ambassador complained, with an expressive look, to that Minister, that one of his despatches had been opened. “Oh!” returned the statesman, after listening with profound attention, “I shall wager I can guess how the thing happened. I am convinced your despatch was opened by some one who desired to know what was inside.”
During Talleyrand’s time in office, when the seals on private letters weren't very secure, the Spanish Ambassador expressed concern to that Minister, with a meaningful look, that one of his messages had been tampered with. “Oh!” replied the statesman, after listening intently, “I bet I can figure out how this happened. I'm sure your message was opened by someone who wanted to find out what it said.”
When Louis XVIII., at the Restoration, praised the subtile diplomatist for his talents and influence, he disclaimed the compliment, but added, what might serve both as a hint and a threat: “There is, however, some inexplicable thing about me, that prevents any government from prospering that attempts to set me aside.”
When Louis XVIII, at the Restoration, praised the clever diplomat for his skills and influence, he dismissed the compliment, but added, which could serve as both a tip and a warning: “There is, however, something inexplicable about me that prevents any government from succeeding if it tries to push me aside.”
After the Pope excommunicated his apostate Abbé, that unworthy son of the church wrote to a friend, saying: “Come and comfort me: come and sup with me. Everybody is going to refuse me fire and water; we shall therefore have nothing this evening but iced meats, and drink nothing but wine.”
After the Pope kicked out his traitor Abbé, that unworthy son of the church wrote to a friend, saying: “Come and cheer me up: come and have dinner with me. Everyone is going to deny me fire and water; so, we’ll only have iced dishes tonight, and we’ll drink nothing but wine.”
When the Abbé Dupanloup told him, during his last hour, that the Archbishop of Paris had said he would willingly die for him, the dying statesman said, with his expiring breath: “He might make a better use of his life.”
When Abbé Dupanloup told him in his final moments that the Archbishop of Paris said he would gladly die for him, the dying statesman replied, with his last breath: “He could make better use of his life.”
781He proposed that the Duchess de Berri should be threatened for all her strange conspicuous freaks, thus: “Madame, there is no hope for you, you will be tried, condemned, and pardoned!”
781He suggested that the Duchess de Berri should be warned about all her bizarre and attention-grabbing antics like this: “Madame, there’s no chance for you; you will be put on trial, found guilty, and then pardoned!”
Speaking of a well-known lady on one occasion, he said emphatically:—
Speaking about a well-known woman on one occasion, he said emphatically:—
“She is insufferable.”
"She is unbearable."
Then, as if relenting, he added:
Then, as if giving in, he added:
“But that is her only fault.”
"But that's her only flaw."
Madame de Stael cordially hated him, and in her story of Delphine was supposed to have painted herself in the person of her heroine, and Talleyrand in that of a garrulous old woman. On their first meeting, the wit pleasantly remarked, “They tell me that we are both of us in your novel, in the disguise of women.”
Madame de Stael had a strong dislike for him, and in her story Delphine, she was thought to have portrayed herself as the heroine and Talleyrand as a talkative old woman. During their first encounter, the witty remark was made, "I've heard that we both appear in your novel, disguised as women."
While making a few days’ tour in England, he wrote this note to a gentleman connected with the Treasury:—
While taking a short trip in England, he wrote this note to a gentleman associated with the Treasury:—
“Would you give a short quarter of an hour to explain to me the financial system of your country?
"Could you spare about fifteen minutes to explain the financial system of your country to me?"
PORSON.
A favorite diversion of Porson, when among a party of literary men, was to quote a few lines of poetry, and ask if any of the company could tell where they came from. He frequently quoted the following lines without finding any one able to name the author:—
A favorite pastime of Porson when he was with a group of literary people was to recite a few lines of poetry and ask if anyone could identify the source. He often quoted the following lines without anyone being able to name the author:—
782The lines remind the Shakspeare student of a similar verse in Measure for Measure, (Act III, Sc. 2.):—
782The lines remind the Shakespeare student of a similar verse in Measure for Measure, (Act III, Sc. 2.):—
The company generally guessed every likely author but the right one. When conjecture was exhausted, Porson would satisfy curiosity by telling them the lines were in Butler’s Hudibras, and would be found in The Heroic Epistle of Hudibras to his Lady, which few people ever did read, and no one now thinks of reading.
The company mostly guessed every possible author except for the right one. When their guesses ran out, Porson would satisfy their curiosity by telling them the lines were from Butler’s Hudibras, and could be found in The Heroic Epistle of Hudibras to his Lady, which few people ever actually read, and no one thinks of reading now.
Historical Memoranda.
THE FIRST BLOOD SHED IN OUR REVOLUTION.
The “First Blood of the Revolution” is commonly supposed to have been shed at Lexington, April 19, 1775; but Westminster, Vt., files a prior claim in favor of one William French, who it is asserted was killed on the night of March 13, 1775, at the King’s court-house, in what is now Westminster. At that time Vermont was a part of New York, and the King’s court officers, together with a body of troops, were sent on to Westminster to hold the usual session of the court. The people, however, were exasperated, and assembled in the court-house to resist. A little before midnight the troops of George the Third advanced and fired indiscriminately upon the crowd, instantly killing William French, whose head was pierced by a musket ball. He was buried in the churchyard, and a stone erected to his memory, with this quaint inscription:—
The “First Blood of the Revolution” is often thought to have been spilled at Lexington on April 19, 1775; however, Westminster, Vermont, makes an earlier claim on behalf of one William French, who is said to have been killed on the night of March 13, 1775, at the King’s courthouse, which is now Westminster. At that time, Vermont was part of New York, and King’s court officials, along with a troop of soldiers, were sent to Westminster to hold the usual court session. The local people, however, were furious and gathered in the courthouse to resist. Just before midnight, the troops of George the Third advanced and fired indiscriminately into the crowd, instantly killing William French, whose head was struck by a musket ball. He was buried in the churchyard, and a stone was erected in his memory with this unusual inscription:—
“In Memory of William French, Who Was Shot at Westminster March ye 12th, 1775, by the hand of the Cruel Ministerial tools of Georg ye 3rd at the Courthouse at 11 o’clock at Night in the 22d year of his age.
“In Memory of William French, Who Was Shot at Westminster on March 12, 1775, by the hand of the cruel ministerial tools of George III at the Courthouse at 11 PM at the age of 22.
THE “TEA-PARTY” AND THE “TEA-BURNING.”
The world has rung with the story of the “Boston tea-party,” how in the darkness of night certain men disguised as Indians threw overboard the cargo which bore the obnoxious duty, and kept their secret so well that even their own families were not trusted with it. It was a resolute and patriotic act, and answered its purpose. But why all the darkness, the disguise and mystery? Because the number of those who opposed the act, either from loyalty to Great Britain, from timidity, or from pecuniary interest in the cargo, was so great, that only by such means could the deed be done and the doers of it escape punishment.
The world has echoed the story of the “Boston Tea Party,” how in the dead of night, certain men dressed as Indians threw the cargo that carried the unpopular tax overboard, keeping their secret so well that even their own families were kept in the dark. It was a bold and patriotic act that achieved its goal. But why all the secrecy, disguise, and mystery? Because there were so many who opposed the act, either out of loyalty to Great Britain, fear, or financial interest in the cargo, that it could only be carried out in this way to protect the individuals involved from punishment.
How does this compare with the “tea-burning” in Annapolis in the same year? Here the course to be taken was publicly and calmly discussed in open assembly; the resolution arrived at was openly announced, and carried out in the face of day, the owner of the vessel himself applying the torch. This was the Maryland way of doing the thing; and it may well be asked whether the calm judicial dignity of the procedure, the unanimity of sentiment, the absence alike of passion and of concealment, are not far worthier of commemoration and admiration than the act of men who, even for a patriotic purpose, had to assume the garb of conspirators and do a deed of darkness.
How does this compare to the “tea-burning” in Annapolis that same year? Here, the course of action was openly and calmly discussed in a public assembly; the decision made was announced openly and carried out in broad daylight, with the ship’s owner himself lighting the fire. This was the Maryland way of doing things, and it's fair to question whether the calm, dignified nature of the process, the unanimous agreement, and the complete absence of both passion and secrecy are far more deserving of remembrance and respect than the actions of those who, even for a noble cause, had to disguise themselves as conspirators and carry out their deed in the shadows.
The local historians thus tell the story:—
The local historians tell the story like this:—
On the 14th of October, the brig Peggy Stewart arrived at Annapolis, having in its cargo a few packages of tea. The duty was paid by the owner of the vessel. The people were outraged at the attempt to fix upon them the badge of servitude, by the payment of the tax.
On October 14th, the brig Peggy Stewart arrived in Annapolis, carrying a few packages of tea in its cargo. The vessel's owner paid the duty. The people were furious at the idea of being marked with the label of servitude by having to pay the tax.
784A meeting was held, at which it was determined that the tea should not be landed. The owner, fearing further trouble, proposed to destroy the tea. But that was not sufficient punishment. The offence was a grave one, for had this attempt succeeded, it would have been followed by others more aggressive, and thus the very principle which was contended for would have been overthrown in the end. It was the head of the ugly beast that was thrust in the door, and it must not only be put out, but driven out by blows, lest growing bold, it should push its whole body in.
784A meeting took place, where it was decided that the tea should not be unloaded. The owner, worried about more trouble, suggested destroying the tea. But that wasn’t enough punishment. The offense was serious because if this attempt had succeeded, it would have led to even more aggressive actions, ultimately undermining the very principle in question. It was like the head of a dangerous beast pushing through the door, and it needed to be not just pushed out, but forcibly driven away to prevent it from becoming bold and forcing its entire body inside.
After much discussion it was proposed to burn the vessel. The meeting did not consent to this, but many expressed their determination to raise a force to accomplish the brig’s destruction.
After a lot of discussion, it was suggested to destroy the vessel by burning it. The meeting didn’t agree to this, but many expressed their strong intention to gather a group to carry out the brig’s destruction.
Acting under the advice of Mr. Carroll of Carrollton, the owner, seeing that the loss of his property was certain, and willing to repair his good name, even by that loss, proposed to destroy the vessel with his own hands. In the presence of the assembled multitude he set fire to it, with the tea on board,—expiating his offence by the destruction of his property.
Acting on the advice of Mr. Carroll of Carrollton, the owner, realizing he would definitely lose his property and wanting to clear his name, even if it meant that loss, decided to destroy the vessel himself. In front of the gathered crowd, he set it on fire, along with the tea on board, making up for his wrongdoing by destroying his own property.
The striking features of this transaction were not only the boldness with which it was executed, but the deliberation and utter carelessness of concealment in all the measures leading to its accomplishment.
The standout aspects of this deal were not just the boldness with which it was carried out, but also the careful planning and total lack of effort to hide all the steps taken to make it happen.
It was not until the 28th of November that the Dartmouth arrived in Boston harbor, and not until the 16th of December that protracted discussion ended in the overthrow of its cargo. The tea-ship sent to South Carolina arrived December 2d, and the tea-ship to Philadelphia, December 25th. The cargo of the former perished in storage; that of the latter was sent back.
It wasn't until November 28th that the Dartmouth arrived in Boston harbor, and it wasn't until December 16th that lengthy discussions ended with the destruction of its cargo. The tea ship sent to South Carolina arrived on December 2nd, and the tea ship to Philadelphia arrived on December 25th. The cargo from the former spoiled while in storage; that of the latter was shipped back.
THE UNITED STATES NAVY.
A South Carolina correspondent of the American Historical Record writes as follows concerning the inception of the Navy:—
A South Carolina writer for the American Historical Record shares the following about the beginnings of the Navy:—
A few years ago, while looking over a volume of manuscript 785letters in the Charleston (South Carolina) Library, I found a leaf of coarse foolscap, with the following endorsement:—
A few years ago, while going through a collection of manuscript 785letters in the Charleston (South Carolina) Library, I came across a sheet of rough foolscap, with the following note:—
ORIGIN OF THE NAVY.
At a caucus in 1794, consisting of Izard, Morris, and Ellsworth of the Senate, Ames, Sedgwick, Smith, Dayton, &c. of the Representatives, and of Secretaries Hamilton and Knox, to form a plan for a national navy, Smith began the figuring as Secretary of the meeting. Hamilton then took the pen, and instead of minuting the proceedings, he amused himself by making a variety of flourishes during the discussion. In consequence of the plan adopted at this meeting, a bill was reported for building six frigates, which formed the foundation or origin of the American Navy.
At a meeting in 1794, which included Izard, Morris, and Ellsworth from the Senate, Ames, Sedgwick, Smith, Dayton, and others from the House of Representatives, along with Secretaries Hamilton and Knox, a plan was created for a national navy. Smith started keeping notes as the secretary of the meeting. Hamilton then took the pen and, instead of writing down what was happening, entertained himself by drawing various flourishes during the discussion. As a result of the plan established at this meeting, a bill was proposed to build six frigates, which became the foundation of the American Navy.
The “figuring” on the top of the page consists of five lines, and is as follows:—
The “figuring” at the top of the page has five lines, and it is as follows:—
First cost of a frigate, 44 guns, of 1,300 tons, and provision for six months | $150,000 |
350 men | 51,000 |
Provision for six months | 11,000 |
Total | $212,000 |
Then follows an estimate of the annual cost of such a vessel. The rest of the page below these estimates is occupied by bold flourishes, which seem, if they mean anything, to imitate a drawing of a peacock’s tail “in its pride.” Similar scratching, but to a less extent is on the other side of the page.
Then there's an estimate of the yearly cost of such a ship. The rest of the page below these estimates is filled with bold flourishes, which seem to mimic a drawing of a peacock’s tail “in its pride.” Similar scribbles, but to a lesser degree, are on the other side of the page.
The only letter addressed to Shakspeare, which is undoubtedly genuine, is that now in the museum at Stratford, from Richard Quinn, the actor, asking for a loan of £20. This letter is endorsed: “To my lovinge good ffriend and countreyman, Mr. William Shackespere deliver Thees.” If the writer spelled names no better than other words, this affords little aid to the solution of the perplexing question, for notwithstanding the outrageous fashion in which our forefathers spelled English, he is considerably ahead of his age in this respect.
The only letter definitely addressed to Shakespeare that we have is currently in the museum at Stratford, from Richard Quinn, the actor, requesting a loan of £20. This letter is marked: “To my loving good friend and countryman, Mr. William Shakespeare deliver these.” If the writer didn't spell names any better than other words, this doesn't help much in solving the confusing question, because despite the terrible way our ancestors spelled English, he is quite advanced for his time in this regard.
QUAKER “MALIGNANTS.”
There has been discovered in Boston the following letter relative to William Penn, written “September ye 15, 1682.” by Cotton Mather, to “ye aged and beloved Mr. John Higginson”:—
There has been found in Boston the following letter regarding William Penn, written "September 15, 1682," by Cotton Mather, to "the aged and beloved Mr. John Higginson":—
There bee now at sea a shippe (for our friend Mr. Esaias Holcraft, of London, did advise me by ye last packet that it wolde sail some time in August) called ye Welcome, R. Greenaway, master, which has aboard an hundred or more of ye heretics and malignants called Quakers, with W. Penne, who is ye chief scampe at ye hedde of them. Ye General Court has accordingly given secret orders to Master Malachi Huxett, of ye brig Porpusse, to waylaye ye said Welcome as near the coast of Codde as may be, and make captive ye said Penne and his ungodlie crew, so that ye Lord may be glorified and not mocked on ye soil of this new countrie with ye heathen worshippe of these people. Much spoyl can be made by selling ye whole lotte to Barbadoes, where slaves fetch good prices in rumme and sugar, and we shall not only do ye Lord great service by punishing ye wicked, but shall make great gayne for his ministers and people.
There is currently a ship at sea (our friend Mr. Esaias Holcraft from London informed me in the last packet that it would set sail sometime in August) called the Welcome, captained by R. Greenaway, which has on board over a hundred of the dissenters and troublemakers known as Quakers, along with W. Penne, who is the main troublemaker at the head of them. The General Court has therefore given secret orders to Master Malachi Huxett of the brig Porpusse to intercept the Welcome as close to the coast of Cod as possible and capture Penne and his ungodly crew, so that the Lord may be glorified and not mocked on the soil of this new country with the pagan worship of these people. A lot of profit can be made by selling the entire group to Barbados, where slaves fetch good prices in rum and sugar, and we shall not only serve the Lord by punishing the wicked but will also make great gains for His ministers and people.
Master Huxett feels hopeful, and I will set down ye news he brings when his shippe comes back.
Master Huxett feels hopeful, and I will write down the news he brings when his ship comes back.
AN AMERICAN MONARCHY.
After the downfall of Napoleon I., in 1815, several young Americans who subsequently earned high position as writers and statesmen, among them Irving, Everett, Ticknor, Legaré, and Preston, (afterward Senator from South Carolina,) went to Europe for the benefit of foreign travel. While abroad, they took an opportunity to pay a visit to Sir Walter Scott, and Mr. Preston relates that during the evening, in the course of conversation, Sir Walter gave an account of a curious discovery he had made.
After the fall of Napoleon I in 1815, several young Americans who later became prominent writers and politicians, including Irving, Everett, Ticknor, Legaré, and Preston (who went on to be a senator from South Carolina), traveled to Europe to benefit from international experience. While they were abroad, they visited Sir Walter Scott, and Mr. Preston recounts that during the evening, in the course of their conversation, Sir Walter shared a fascinating discovery he had made.
Not long after it had been divulged who was the author of the “Waverley Novels,” Scott was the Regent’s (afterward George the Fourth) guest in the royal palace, where, one day, the latter ordered the key of a certain room to be given to the great writer, saying that it opened the door of the Stuart 787Chamber, where all the papers concerning the Stuarts and their pretenders were kept. George gave Scott full permission to rummage among all these records, and to use what he liked for his works. “I depend on your discretion,” he said, and Scott went. He spent several days in this curious chamber, and, so he told Preston, one day stumbled upon what seemed to him a remarkable paper. It consisted of a call and petition, by Scottish in America, chiefly, however, by the Gaelic Scottish who had a settlement—“saddle-bagging” as it is sometimes expressed in the West—in North Carolina, addressed to the Pretender (Prince Charles Edward, grandson of James the Second), as he was then called, to come to America and assume the crown of this realm.
Not long after it was revealed that he was the author of the “Waverley Novels,” Scott was invited by the Regent (later George IV) to stay in the royal palace. One day, the Regent had the key to a specific room given to the famous writer, telling him it unlocked the door to the Stuart Chamber, where all documents related to the Stuarts and their claimants were stored. George allowed Scott full access to explore these records and to use anything he wanted for his works. “I trust your judgment,” he said, and Scott agreed. He spent several days in this intriguing chamber and, as he mentioned to Preston, he one day stumbled upon what he considered a significant document. It was a petition from Scots in America, primarily from Gaelic Scots who had settled there—referred to as “saddle-bagging” in the West—located in North Carolina. The petition was addressed to the Pretender (Prince Charles Edward, grandson of James II), urging him to come to America and claim the crown of this land.
The question whether this country had not best be turned into a monarchy was seriously and very naturally mooted, in the earliest days of our national existence, but until this singular revelation was made, it was not known that such a positive offer, a very strange one, to say the least, had been made.
The question of whether this country should become a monarchy was seriously and understandably discussed in the early days of our nation, but until this unusual revelation came to light, it wasn't known that such a definitive and quite odd offer had been made.
THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER.
The following description of the significance of the different parts of our national flag was written by a member of the committee appointed by the Continental Congress to design a flag for the young Republic:—
The following description of the significance of the different parts of our national flag was written by a member of the committee appointed by the Continental Congress to design a flag for the young Republic:—
The stars of the new flag represent the new constellation of States rising in the West. The idea was taken from the constellation of Lyra, which in the land of Orpheus signifies harmony. The blue in the field was taken from the edges of the Covenanter’s banner, in Scotland, significant of the league-covenant of the United Colonies against oppression, incidentally involving the virtues of vigilance, perseverance and justice. The stars were disposed in a circle symbolizing the perpetuity of the Union; the ring, like the serpent of the Egyptians, signifying eternity. The thirteen stripes showed with the stars, the number of the United Colonies, and denoted the subordination of the States to the Union, as well as equality among themselves. The whole was the blending of the various flags of the army and the white ones of the floating batteries. The red color, which in Roman days was the signal of defiance, denoted daring; and the white purity.
The stars on the new flag represent the new constellation of states rising in the West. The idea was inspired by the constellation Lyra, which in the land of Orpheus stands for harmony. The blue background was taken from the edges of the Covenanter’s banner in Scotland, symbolizing the league-covenant of the United Colonies against oppression and highlighting the virtues of vigilance, perseverance, and justice. The stars were arranged in a circle, symbolizing the permanence of the Union; the ring, like the serpent of the Egyptians, signifies eternity. The thirteen stripes, along with the stars, represent the number of the United Colonies and indicate the subordination of the states to the Union, as well as their equality with one another. The whole design merges the various flags of the army and the white flags of the floating batteries. The red color, which in Roman times was a sign of defiance, signifies daring, while the white represents purity.
THE FRENCH TRICOLOR.
The French tricolor, so far from being a revolutionary flag, is more ancient than the white flag, and was, in fact, the flag of the House of Bourbon. Clovis, when he marched through Tours to fight the Visigoths, adopted as his banner the scope of St. Martin, which was blue, and thus blue was, so to speak, the first French color. The oriflamme, which was the particular flag of the Abbey of St. Denis, and was red, became to a certain extent the national flag, when St. Denis came under the protection of the kings of France, the kings still preserving their blue flag studded with golden fleurs de lis. The white flag (which was also the banner of Joan of Arc) has in all countries, and through all times, been the sign of authority. And when Louis XIV. destroyed the functions of the colonels-general of the different corps that bore the white standard, the color became the emblem of Royal authority. Nevertheless, it is useless to dispute the fact that the tricolor took its rise as the badge of the National Guard at the French Revolution, and that it will be as difficult to separate it from the idea of revolution as to separate the white flag from the idea of legitimacy.
The French tricolor, far from being just a revolutionary flag, is actually older than the white flag and was originally the flag of the House of Bourbon. When Clovis marched through Tours to battle the Visigoths, he chose the blue banner of St. Martin as his standard, marking blue as the first French color, so to speak. The oriflamme, the flag associated with the Abbey of St. Denis, which was red, became somewhat of the national flag when St. Denis came under the kings of France's protection, who continued to use their blue flag adorned with golden fleur-de-lis. The white flag, which also served as Joan of Arc's banner, has always represented authority across nations and through time. When Louis XIV ended the roles of the colonels-general of the various corps that carried the white standard, that color became a symbol of Royal authority. However, it's pointless to argue that the tricolor originated as the emblem of the National Guard during the French Revolution and that it will be just as hard to dissociate it from revolution as it is to separate the white flag from the concept of legitimacy.
THE POLITICAL GAMUT.
In 1815 the French newspapers announced the departure of Bonaparte from Elba, his progress through France, and his entry; into Paris, in the following manner:—
In 1815, the French newspapers reported Bonaparte's departure from Elba, his journey through France, and his arrival in Paris like this:—
March 9. The Anthropophagus has quitted his den.—March 10. The Corsican Ogre has landed at Cape Juan.—March 11. The Tiger has arrived at Gap.—March 12. The Monster slept at Grenoble.—March 13. The Tyrant has passed through Lyons.—March 14. The Usurper is directing his steps towards Dijon, but the brave and loyal Burgundians have risen en masse, and surrounded him on all sides.—March 18. Bonaparte is only sixty leagues from the capital; he has been 789fortunate enough to escape the hands of his pursuers.—March 19. Bonaparte is advancing with rapid steps, but he will never enter Paris.—March 20. Napoleon will, to-morrow, be under our ramparts.—March 21. The Emperor is at Fontainebleau.—March 22. His Imperial and Royal Majesty yesterday evening arrived at the Tuileries, amidst the joyful acclamations of his devoted and faithful subjects. 5 The Journal des Débats, in reference to the escape from Elba, spoke of Napoleon on the 9th of March, as “the Poltroon of 1814.” On the 15th it said to him, “Scourge of generations thou shall reign no more!” On the 16th he is “a Robespierre on horseback”; on the 19th, “the adventurer from Corsica”; but on the 21st, we are gravely told that “the EMPEROR has pursued his triumphal course, having found no other enemies than the miserable libels which were vainly scattered on his path to impede his progress.”
March 9. The Cannibal has left his lair.—March 10. The Corsican Ogre has arrived at Cape Juan.—March 11. The Tiger has reached Gap.—March 12. The Monster stayed overnight in Grenoble.—March 13. The Tyrant has passed through Lyons.—March 14. The Usurper is making his way towards Dijon, but the brave and loyal Burgundians have risen in large groups, and surrounded him on all sides.—March 18. Bonaparte is only sixty leagues from the capital; he has been 789 lucky enough to evade his pursuers.—March 19. Bonaparte is moving forward quickly, but he will never enter Paris.—March 20. Napoleon will be at our ramparts tomorrow.—March 21. The Emperor is at Fontainebleau.—March 22. His Imperial and Royal Majesty arrived at the Tuileries yesterday evening, amid the joyful cheers of his devoted and loyal subjects. The Debate Journal, in reference to the escape from Elba, referred to Napoleon on March 9 as “the Coward of 1814.” On the 15th, it addressed him, “Scourge of generations, you shall reign no more!” On the 16th, he was described as “a Robespierre on horseback”; on the 19th, “the adventurer from Corsica”; but on the 21st, we are seriously informed that “the EMPEROR has continued his triumphant journey, finding no other enemies than the pathetic slanders that were ineffectively scattered along his path to hinder his progress.”
THE FLIGHT OF EUGENIE.
The following particulars of the flight of the Empress of France from Paris, in consequence of the subversion of the Napoleonic dynasty by the capitulation of Sedan, were furnished by the late Bishop McIlvaine, of Ohio, who obtained them from one who aided the flight of Eugenie, and are therefore stamped with the essentials of authenticity.
The details about the Empress of France's escape from Paris, following the collapse of the Napoleonic dynasty after the surrender at Sedan, were provided by the late Bishop McIlvaine of Ohio. He got this information from someone who helped Eugenie flee, so it carries the marks of being genuine.
The safety of the Empress had been assured to her by General Trochu, who had solemnly promised to inform her of the approach of danger. For some unexplained reasons he failed to do so, and when on Sunday the mob began to assemble about the Tuileries, three of her friends, Prince Metternich, the Spanish Ambassador and M. Lesseps, formed a plan for her escape, and went to her rescue. M. Lesseps stood outside and harangued the mob for the purpose of detaining them, while the two other gentlemen went in search of the Empress. They found her partaking of a very frugal lunch with one of her ladies, and her fears could not be aroused. Seeing it impossible to persuade 790her, the two gentlemen used force to remove her. At this she consented to make a slight preparation, and without at all changing her dress, (for the mob had already entered the Palace), catching up a small leathern reticule, she put into it two pocket-handkerchiefs, and two books, the New Testament and a prayer-book. On her head she put a riding hat, and then by that time thoroughly aroused, she fled through the Palace, through long corridors, up and down flights of stairs, through chamber and salon, a long distance before they came down to the Rue Rivoli, on which side of the Palace the mob had not collected. Here a cab awaited her. She, with the lady in attendance, was put into it. “Now,” said the friends, “we must leave you; too well-known, our attendance would bring destruction upon you! Make good speed!” Yes, good speed, for she heard the cries of the furious mob, and as she was entering the cab a little boy exclaimed, “There is the Empress,” and she thought all was lost; but it proved that there was no one there to take notice, and so the two ladies drove off. Soon they came into the midst of the excited crowd, and the lady accompanying her questioned on this side and the other the meaning of it all, and appeared to be lost in wonder at the proceedings, while the Empress sank back out of sight in the carriage. They had a long ride out beyond the Champs Élysées to the quieter parts of the city, when they alighted, dismissed the cab, to avoid giving any clew in case of pursuit, and walked some distance. Where should she go? To whom flee? What friend trust? There was but one to whom she would venture, and that one an American gentlemen of some note, who, with his wife, had long been a friend of both Emperor and Empress. So they took another cab for the house of this gentleman (whom we will call Mr. W——), arriving there to find him away from home, and his wife absent for the summer at a small seaport on the coast. The servant under these circumstances was extremely ungracious, and quite refused to admit these strange ladies, and when at last, upon their insisting, they were admitted to the 791house, she was unwilling to show them into an apartment suitable for them, and it was not without some difficulty that they were allowed to wait in the library for the owner’s return. When at last he returned and entered the room, judge of his surprise at the sight of the Empress. “You must get me immediately out of France,—this very night,” exclaimed the Empress the moment she saw him. Out of France that very night? He told her it was impossible. He was expecting a party of friends to dinner, but would plead sudden business and excuse himself, and make preparations as quickly as possible for her flight; but, in the meantime, she must be quiet and rest. This she was prevailed upon to do, and, supplying herself from Mrs. W——’s wardrobe, retired for the night.
The Empress's safety had been promised to her by General Trochu, who had vowed to alert her if danger approached. For some unknown reason, he failed to do this, and when a crowd started gathering outside the Tuileries on Sunday, three of her friends—Prince Metternich, the Spanish Ambassador, and M. Lesseps—came up with an escape plan and rushed to help her. M. Lesseps stayed outside to try to keep the mob distracted while the other two went in search of the Empress. They found her having a very light lunch with one of her ladies and completely unfazed. Realizing they couldn't convince her to leave, the men had to use force to get her to go. She then agreed to get ready just a bit and, without changing her outfit (since the mob had already broken into the Palace), she quickly grabbed a small leather bag and packed two handkerchiefs and two books— the New Testament and a prayer book. She put on a riding hat and, now fully aware of the situation, she hurried through the Palace, navigating long hallways, up and down stairs, and through rooms until they finally reached Rue Rivoli, where the crowd hadn’t gathered yet. A cab was waiting for her, and she and her attendant climbed in. “We have to leave you now," her friends said. "Being with you is too risky! Move quickly!” Yes, they had to hurry because she could hear the angry mob outside, and just as she was getting into the cab, a little boy shouted, “There’s the Empress!” She thought it was all over, but luckily, no one paid attention, and the two ladies drove off. Soon, they found themselves amidst the excited crowd, and the lady accompanying her asked about the commotion, pretending to be confused about what was happening while the Empress sank back in the carriage to remain hidden. They took a long ride beyond the Champs Élysées to a quieter part of the city, got out, and dismissed the cab to avoid being tracked, then walked for some time. Where could she go? Who could she trust? There was only one person she felt she could turn to, an American gentleman of some reputation, who, along with his wife, had long been friends with both the Emperor and the Empress. So they took another cab to this gentleman’s house (whom we’ll call Mr. W——), only to find out he was not home, and his wife was away for the summer at a seaside resort. Under the circumstances, the servant was extremely unwelcoming and refused to let them in. Eventually, after persistent requests, they were allowed into the house but had to wait in the library rather than in a proper room. When Mr. W—— finally returned and saw the Empress, he was quite shocked. “You need to get me out of France—right now,” she insisted as soon as she saw him. Leave France immediately? He told her it was impossible; he was expecting friends for dinner but would use an excuse of a sudden business matter to buy time and prepare for her escape as quickly as possible. In the meantime, she needed to stay calm and rest. She agreed and managed to borrow something from Mrs. W——’s wardrobe before settling in for the night.
The dinner party, receiving the excuses of the host, and overcome with a sense of mystery, soon withdrew in spite of the cordial message and wishes of the gentleman that they would make themselves merry in his absence. At four o’clock in the morning a carriage stood at the door, into which Mr. W—— put the two ladies, and, driving himself, they set off on their way out of France, pursuing quiet streets, confining their course to unfrequented roads and lanes of the country, and avoiding the more public highways, until the horses were worn out. They were then near a little village; and the question arose how to get a carriage brought to them, and explain why they could not go to it. Mr. W—— went to the inn and, having found a private carriage which was waiting over there, agreed with the servant to come out a mile or so and carry his party, Mr. W——’s two sisters—one of whom was very lame indeed, and could not walk a step—some miles on, till they should come to a railway. This done and the lame lady with much difficulty put into the carriage by her “brother” and “sister,” they proceeded for a distance until they came to a railway, where they left the carriage to break up the clew, and rode a short distance in the rail-car without attracting attention. Then they took another carriage, riding in roundabout ways, until at 792the end of two days they reached the little seaport where Mrs. W—— was spending the summer. How must Mr. W—— conduct the ladies into the presence of his wife without being observed by every one? After some reconnoitring, this was successfully accomplished, and throwing her arms around the neck of Mrs. W——, Eugenie exclaimed: “You and your husband are the only friends left to me in the world.” She, with the lady who accompanied her, remained in the room of Mrs. W——, lest some one should see and recognize her. No servant could be allowed to enter the room. Mrs. W—— brought food to the two ladies and served the Empress in everything, who expostulated at the inconvenience she was causing her friend, and insisted upon waiting upon herself, her behavior being of such a sweet character as still more to endear her to her friends, who were risking nearly all they possessed in her cause.
The dinner party, accepting the host's excuses and filled with a sense of mystery, soon left despite the friendly message and wishes from the gentleman for them to enjoy themselves in his absence. At four o'clock in the morning, a carriage stood at the door, into which Mr. W—— placed the two ladies. Driving himself, they headed out of France, taking quiet streets, sticking to back roads and country lanes, and avoiding the more public highways until the horses were exhausted. They were then near a small village, and the question arose of how to have a carriage brought to them and explain why they couldn't go to it. Mr. W—— went to the inn and, having found a private carriage waiting there, arranged for the servant to come out about a mile to take his party—Mr. W——’s two sisters, one of whom was very lame and couldn’t walk at all—some miles until they reached a railway. Once this was done, and the lame lady was with great difficulty helped into the carriage by her “brother” and “sister,” they traveled until they reached a railway station, where they left the carriage to cover their tracks and rode a short distance on the train without drawing attention. They then took another carriage, going in roundabout ways, until at 792 the end of two days, they reached the small seaport where Mrs. W—— was spending the summer. How could Mr. W—— bring the ladies into his wife’s presence without being seen by everyone? After some scouting around, this was successfully done, and throwing her arms around Mrs. W——’s neck, Eugenie exclaimed, “You and your husband are the only friends I have left in the world.” She and the lady with her stayed in Mrs. W——’s room, so no one would see and recognize her. No servant could be allowed to enter. Mrs. W—— brought food to the two ladies and attended to the Empress, who protested about the trouble she was causing her friend and insisted on serving herself. Her behavior was so sweet that it endeared her even more to her friends, who were risking nearly everything they had for her cause.
Their plan was now to get her across the Channel to the Isle of Wight, and thence to England. There were but two conveyances in the harbor—both private yachts—and only one able to get out to sea. The owner of that one flatly refused to take the ladies over, but at last, after the identity of the ladies had been made known and much persuasion used, he consented, and Mr. W—— and the two ladies, with the reticule containing two pocket-handkerchiefs, set out the day after their arrival in the little seaport town on their voyage to England.
Their plan was to get her across the Channel to the Isle of Wight, and then to England. There were only two boats in the harbor—both private yachts—and only one could make it out to sea. The owner of that yacht initially refused to take the ladies over, but eventually, after revealing the identity of the ladies and a lot of persuasion, he agreed. So, Mr. W—— and the two ladies, along with a small bag containing two handkerchiefs, set off the day after they arrived in the little seaside town on their journey to England.
This is a journey usually made in a few hours; but a terrible storm arising, it was prolonged to twenty-seven. The same night and in the same waters the ever-memorable vessel the Captain went down. But although the gentleman in command lost all control of himself and ship, they weathered the storm.
This is a trip that usually takes a few hours; however, a terrible storm came up, extending it to twenty-seven hours. That same night, in the same waters, the unforgettable ship the Captain sank. But even though the captain completely lost control of himself and the ship, they managed to get through the storm.
During this time Eugenie showed the most remarkable self-possession, and evidently looked upon death as a relief from her woes. But this was not to be, and after a passage fraught with the most imminent danger, she was landed on the Isle of Wight, to find on English ground that asylum which had been sought 793by so many fugitives before her. And to add to her relief, her son, of whose whereabouts she knew nothing, was found to be in Hastings, not far from her.
During this time, Eugenie displayed incredible calmness and clearly viewed death as a way to escape her troubles. However, that was not the case, and after a journey full of serious danger, she arrived on the Isle of Wight, where she found the refuge on English soil that so many other escapees had sought before her. To make things even better, her son, of whom she had no knowledge of his location, was discovered to be in Hastings, not far from her. 793
Such is the true story of Eugenie’s escape from Paris and France. What a sad, sad tale of fallen greatness! How much must she have suffered in those few days! the fury of a Paris mob in her ears; the fear of pursuit at her back; how often did she start, and give herself up for lost! What threatening meaning did many an accidental phrase assume! No wonder her courage sustained the fearful storm; the thunder and lightning, the waters, however dark and cold and deep, would be far more merciful than that dreadful mob that called out her name, the mob that had shown no pity to the little child or tender woman, and derided with the bitterest insults the fond Marie Antoinette at the guillotine. Oh, France! when we remember those days of terror, can we wonder at this retribution?
Such is the true story of Eugenie’s escape from Paris and France. What a sad, sad tale of fallen greatness! How much must she have suffered in those few days! The fury of the Paris mob ringing in her ears; the fear of being chased behind her; how often did she flinch, feeling completely lost! What threatening meanings did many casual remarks take on! No wonder her courage weathered the terrifying storm; the thunder and lightning, the waters, no matter how dark, cold, and deep, would be far more merciful than that awful mob that shouted her name, the mob that showed no pity to the little child or gentle woman, and mocked with the cruelest insults dear Marie Antoinette at the guillotine. Oh, France! When we think back to those days of terror, can we really be surprised by this retribution?
NAPOLEON III.
The following lines, suggested by the rise of Louis Napoleon, were written January 6th, 1853. The capitulation of Sedan occurred September 1, 1870, and the death of the exile of Chiselhurst, January 9, 1873.
The following lines, inspired by the rise of Louis Napoleon, were written on January 6, 1853. The surrender of Sedan happened on September 1, 1870, and the death of the exile of Chiselhurst was on January 9, 1873.
THE EMPIRE IS PEACE.
This memorable utterance was originally made at Toulouse in the autumn of 1852, while Louis Napoleon was feeling the public pulse in the vineyards of Southern France, preparatory to re-establishing the imperial régime. At the close of a splendid banquet given to him by the Chamber of Commerce, in the Bourse, the Prince-President, emboldened by the mad enthusiasm of the company present, suddenly cast off all reserve, and unequivocally announced the impending change. “There is one objection,” he urged in vindication of his purpose, “to which I must reply. Certain minds seem to entertain a dread of war; certain persons say, the Empire is only war. But I say, the Empire is Peace (l’Empire c’est la Paix), for France desires it, and when France is satisfied the world is tranquil.”
This memorable statement was originally made in Toulouse during the fall of 1852, while Louis Napoleon was gauging public opinion in the vineyards of Southern France, as he prepared to bring back the imperial diet. At the end of a lavish banquet hosted by the Chamber of Commerce in the Bourse, the Prince-President, fueled by the wild enthusiasm of those present, suddenly let go of all restraint and clearly announced the upcoming change. “There is one objection,” he said to defend his plans, “that I must address. Some people seem to fear war; some say, the Empire is only war. But I say, the Empire is Peaceful (The Empire is Peace), because France wants it, and when France is satisfied, the world is at peace.”
JEFFERSON ON MARIE ANTOINETTE.
Mr. Jefferson’s estimate of Marie Antoinette is not so favorable as that of some writers; for many years after his return from France he wrote of her thus:—
Mr. Jefferson’s view of Marie Antoinette isn’t as positive as some writers’; for many years after he returned from France, he wrote about her like this:—
This angel, as gaudily painted in the rhapsodies of Burke, with some smartness of fancy, but no sound sense, was proud, disdainful of restraint, indignant at all obstacles to her will, eager in the pursuit of pleasure, and firm enough to hold to her desires, or perish in their wreck. Her inordinate gambling and dissipations, with those of the Count d’Artois and others of her clique, had been a sensible item in the exhaustion of the treasury, which called into action the reforming hand of the nation; and her opposition to it, her inflexible perverseness and dauntless spirit, led herself to the guillotine, drew the king on with her, and plunged the world into crimes and calamities which will forever stain the pages of modern history. I have ever believed that had there been no queen there would have been no Revolution. No force would have been provoked or exercised. [He adds, that he would not have voted for the execution of the sovereign. He would have shut the queen up in a convent, and deprived the king only of irresponsible and arbitrary power.]
This angel, as extravagantly described in Burke's rhapsodies, had a flair for imagination but lacked common sense. She was proud, dismissive of limits, furious at anything blocking her desires, and relentless in her quest for pleasure, determined enough to stick to her wants or perish in the attempt. Her excessive gambling and indulgence, alongside the Count d’Artois and her other friends, significantly drained the treasury, prompting the nation to take action for reform. Her resistance to this change, her stubborn defiance, and fearless spirit ultimately led her to the guillotine, pulled the king along with her, and plunged the world into crimes and disasters that will forever mark modern history. I have always believed that if not for the queen, there would have been no Revolution. No force would have been provoked or used. [He adds that he wouldn’t have voted for the execution of the sovereign. He would have locked the queen away in a convent and limited the king’s power to be non-arbitrary.]
GENERAL BLÜCHER.
This “personal” of Blücher is from the Recollections of Lady Clementina Davies:—When the special messengers arrived 795to inform Blücher that Napoleon had escaped from Elba, and that his services would be immediately required in the field, they were astonished to find him literally running round and round a large room, the floor of which was covered with sawdust, and in which he had immured himself under the delusion that he was an elephant. For the time it was feared that Blücher was hopelessly insane, or that he was so far suffering from delirium tremens that his active co-operation in the anticipated campaign would be impossible; but when the urgent news was brought him he at once recovered himself, and proceeded to give his advice in a perfectly sound state of mind, the tone of which was thus, as by a sudden shock, restored to him.
This “personal” account of Blücher is from the Recollections of Lady Clementina Davies:—When the special messengers arrived 795 to inform Blücher that Napoleon had escaped from Elba and that they needed his services immediately in the field, they were shocked to find him literally running around a large room covered in sawdust, convinced that he was an elephant. For a moment, there were fears that Blücher was completely insane or so far gone with DTs that he wouldn't be able to actively participate in the upcoming campaign; however, when he received the urgent news, he quickly pulled himself together and was able to provide his advice in a perfectly rational state of mind, as if a sudden shock had restored him.
THE MOTHER OF CHARLES V.
An interesting historical discovery has been made by a Prussian savant, of the name of Bergenroth, who was commissioned by the English Government to investigate various collections of Spanish archives for papers illustrating the relations between Spain and England in the middle ages. Among other important documents, M. Bergenroth discovered a hitherto unpublished mass of correspondence of Ferdinand the Catholic and Charles V.
An interesting historical discovery has been made by a Prussian scholar named Bergenroth, who was hired by the English Government to look into various collections of Spanish archives for documents that show the relationship between Spain and England in the Middle Ages. Among other significant documents, Bergenroth found a previously unpublished collection of correspondence between Ferdinand the Catholic and Charles V.
From this correspondence it appears that Joanna, daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella, and mother of Charles, was not really mad, as all the world has hitherto believed. The story was an atrocious fabrication, under cover of which, first her father, and then her son kept her incarcerated, in order to keep possession themselves of the crown of Castile, which was hers by right of her mother Isabella. After long years of rigorous and even cruel captivity, the unfortunate lady did at last lose her senses, but not until her old age.
From this correspondence, it seems that Joanna, daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella and mother of Charles, wasn’t actually mad, as everyone has believed up until now. The story was a terrible lie, used first by her father and then by her son to keep her locked away, so they could seize the crown of Castile, which was rightfully hers through her mother Isabella. After many years of harsh and even cruel imprisonment, the unfortunate woman eventually lost her sanity, but not until she was quite old.
We are continually called upon to reconstruct our views of history, which, the more we study it, more and more resembles Hamlet’s cloud, taking whatever shape partisanship may determine. 796We must draw a new likeness of Charles, who is no longer the prince full of Flemish bonhomie, good knight, and boon companion, rigorous and despotic, but not personally cruel; and when this is done, Philip II. will appear a less surprising anomaly.
We are constantly asked to rethink our perspectives on history, which, the more we explore it, increasingly resembles Hamlet’s cloud, taking whatever shape bias might dictate. 796 We need to create a new image of Charles, who is no longer the prince overflowing with Flemish friendliness, a good knight, and a fun companion—strict and authoritarian, but not personally cruel; and once this is done, Philip II will seem like a less puzzling outlier.
THE TRADITIONAL MARY MAGDALENE.
The injurious and probably unjust inferences respecting Mary Magdalene, as drawn by the general assent of the Christian Church from the narratives of the Evangelists, in which mention is made of her attendance on our Lord, want the stamp of confirmation. Such portraiture is more traditional than authoritative. The prevailing conjecture that the infirmity of which she had been cured implied moral guilt was rejected, or mentioned with hesitation, by the early Greek and Latin Fathers. It was taken up by Gregory the Great, and stamped with his authority in the latter part of the sixth century. It is sanctioned by the Roman Breviary, and its truth has been assumed by most ecclesiastical writers, who seem to think that Mary loved much because she had much to be forgiven. Painters and poets have described the supposed illustrious penitent, in loose array, without giving her costume the benefit of her conversion! By these means it became established in the popular mind. This was the more easy, as it supplied an agreeable and interesting contrast. It made one Mary serve as a foil to set off the excellencies of another. Mary, the mother of our Lord, became the type of feminine purity; but the leaders of opinion were not content with giving her those honors to which all Christians consider her justly entitled. To give it, however, the advantage of a striking contrast, and thus make it shine with greater splendor, a female character of an opposite description was wanted—a type of fallen womanhood, penitent and restored. And as “the woman which was a sinner,” mentioned by St. Luke in the seventh chapter of his Gospel, is left by the historian strictly anonymous, Mary Magdalene, 797whose name occurs in the next chapter, was seized on for this purpose, and her character treated in a way which, by any honest woman, would be deemed worse than martyrdom.
The harmful and likely unfair assumptions about Mary Magdalene, which the general consensus of the Christian Church has drawn from the Evangelists' accounts mentioning her presence with our Lord, lack solid confirmation. This portrayal is more based on tradition than on authority. The common belief that the illness she was healed from implied moral wrongdoing was dismissed or approached with caution by early Greek and Latin church fathers. It was popularized by Gregory the Great in the latter part of the sixth century, and has been endorsed by the Roman Breviary, with most ecclesiastical writers accepting its validity, seemingly believing that Mary loved deeply because she had much to be forgiven. Artists and poets have depicted this supposed great penitent in revealing clothing, overlooking the significance of her conversion. This narrative became ingrained in public perception, aided by its appealing and intriguing contrast. One Mary served as a foil to highlight the qualities of the other. Mary, the mother of our Lord, was seen as a symbol of female purity; however, opinion leaders were not satisfied with just acknowledging her deserved honors. To enhance this contrast and make her shine even brighter, they needed a female character of the opposite nature—a representation of fallen womanhood that was penitent and restored. Since “the woman who was a sinner” mentioned by St. Luke in the seventh chapter of his Gospel is left unnamed, Mary Magdalene, whose name appears in the next chapter, was chosen for this purpose, and her character was treated in a manner that any honest woman would consider worse than martyrdom.
MOTHER GOOSE.
Mother Goose, instead of being a traditional bard, or a creature of fancy, as commonly supposed, was a veritable personage. The mother-in-law of Thomas Fleet, the editor, in 1731, of the Boston Weekly Rehearsal, was the original Mother Goose—the “old woman” of the world-famous melodies. Mother Goose belonged to a wealthy family in Boston, where her eldest daughter, Elizabeth Goose, was married by Cotton Mather, in 1715, to Fleet, and in due time gave birth to a son. Like most mothers-in-law in our own day, the importance of Mrs. Goose increased with the appearance of her grandchild, and poor Mr. Fleet, half distracted with her endless nursery ditties, finding all other means fail, tried what ridicule could effect, and actually printed a book with the title: “Songs for the Nursery, or Mother Goose’s Melodies for Children, printed by T. Fleet, at his printing house, Pudding Lane, Boston. Price ten coppers.”
Mother Goose, instead of being just a traditional storyteller or a figure of imagination as people usually think, was a real person. She was the mother-in-law of Thomas Fleet, who in 1731 edited the Boston Weekly Rehearsal, and was the original Mother Goose—the “old woman” behind the famous nursery rhymes. Mother Goose came from a wealthy family in Boston, where her eldest daughter, Elizabeth Goose, was married by Cotton Mather in 1715 to Fleet, and later had a son. Like many mothers-in-law today, Mrs. Goose's significance grew with the arrival of her grandchild, and poor Mr. Fleet, overwhelmed by her constant nursery rhymes, found all other solutions failing, so he resorted to humor and actually published a book titled: “Songs for the Nursery, or Mother Goose’s Melodies for Children, printed by T. Fleet, at his printing house, Pudding Lane, Boston. Price ten coppers.”
Mother Goose was the mother of nineteen children, and hence we may easily trace the origin of that famous classic:—
Mother Goose had nineteen kids, and that's how we can easily track down the origin of that famous classic:—
HISTORY AND FICTION.
The archbishop of Canterbury once put the following question to Betterton, the actor: “How is it that you players, who deal only with things imaginary, affect your auditors as if they were real; while we preachers, who deal only with things real, affect our auditors as if they were imaginary?” “It is, my lord,” replied the player, “because we actors speak of things imaginary as if they were real, while you preachers too often speak of things real as if they were imaginary.” Whitefield used to tell this anecdote as an explanation of his own vehement 798and dramatic style of preaching. The remark may be applied to historical and fictitious writing. The old school historians were so solid and stately that they conveyed only feeble images to the mind, while poets and romancers out of airy nothings have created living and breathing beings. How much more readily we remember romance than history, and yet “truth is stranger than fiction.” Shakspeare’s Macbeth and Richard are not the Macbeth and Richard of history, yet we cling to the poet’s portraits of them, and discard the sober truth. “Macbeth,” Sir Walter Scott tells us, “broke no law of hospitality in his attempt on Duncan’s life. He attacked and slew the king at a place called Bothgowan, or the Smith’s house, near Elgin, in 1039, and not, as has been supposed, in his own castle of Inverness. The act was bloody, as was the complexion of the times; but in very truth, the claim of Macbeth to the throne, according to the rules of Scottish succession, was better than that of Duncan. As a king, the tyrant so much exclaimed against, was, in realty, a firm, just and equitable prince. Early authorities show us no such persons as Banquo and his son Fleance, nor have we reason to think that the latter ever fled further from Macbeth than across the flat scene according to the stage direction. Neither were Banquo or his son ancestors of the house of Stuart. All these things are now known, but the mind retains pertinaciously the impressions made by the imposition of genius. While the works of Shakspeare are read, and the English language exists, history may say what she will, but the general reader will only recollect Macbeth as the sacrilegious usurper and Richard as the deformed murderer.”
The archbishop of Canterbury once asked Betterton, the actor, “How is it that you actors, who deal only with imaginary things, affect your audience as if they were real, while we preachers, who deal only with real things, affect our audience as if they were imaginary?” “It’s because we actors talk about imaginary things as if they were real, while you preachers too often talk about real things as if they were imaginary,” replied Betterton. Whitefield used to share this story to explain his own passionate and dramatic preaching style. This idea can also apply to writing about history and fiction. Old-school historians were so serious and formal that they produced only weak images in the mind, while poets and storytellers have turned simple ideas into vivid and lively characters. We remember stories more easily than facts, and yet “truth is stranger than fiction.” Shakespeare’s Macbeth and Richard are not the actual Macbeth and Richard from history, but we prefer the poet’s versions over the dry facts. “Macbeth,” Sir Walter Scott tells us, “didn’t break any laws of hospitality when he tried to kill Duncan. He attacked and killed the king at a place called Bothgowan, or the Smith’s house, near Elgin, in 1039, not, as it’s often believed, in his own castle of Inverness. The act was brutal, as was the nature of the times; however, Macbeth's claim to the throne, according to Scottish succession rules, was stronger than Duncan’s. The tyrant that everyone complained about was actually a fair, just, and equitable king. Early sources don’t mention Banquo or his son Fleance, nor do we have any reason to believe that Fleance ever escaped from Macbeth any further than across the flat stage as directed. Neither Banquo nor his son were ancestors of the Stuart line. All this is now known, yet people stubbornly hold on to the impressions created by genius. As long as Shakespeare's works are read and the English language exists, history can say what it wants, but the average reader will remember Macbeth as the sacrilegious usurper and Richard as the twisted murderer.”
CONTEMPORARY CRITICISM.
Robert Greene, the Elizabethan dramatist and novelist, indulged in the following disparaging criticism in reference to Shakspeare:—
Robert Greene, the Elizabethan playwright and novelist, made the following harsh criticism about Shakespeare:—
“There is an upstart crow beautified with our feathers that, with his tiger’s heart wrapt in a player’s hide, supposes he is 799as well able to bombast out a blank verse as the best of you, and being an absolute Johannes factotum, is in his own conceit the only Shake-scene in a country.”
“There’s an arrogant newcomer flaunting our talents who, with his tiger’s heart wrapped in a performer’s skin, thinks he can write blank verse as well as any of you. He acts like a total jack-of-all-trades and believes he’s the only true Shake-scene in the country.”
The line in italics is a parody of one in 3 Henry VI., i. 4:—
The line in italics is a parody of one in 3 Henry VI., i. 4:—
“O! tiger’s heart wrapped in a woman’s hide,” which was taken from an old play called the First Part of the Contention of the two famous Houses of York and Lancaster. Shakspeare is known to have founded his Henry VI. upon this piece and another which are supposed to have been written by Greene or his friends, and hence, no doubt, Greene’s acrimonious remark.
“O! tiger’s heart wrapped in a woman’s skin,” which was taken from an old play called the First Part of the Contention of the two famous Houses of York and Lancaster. Shakespeare is known to have based his Henry VI. on this work and another that are thought to have been written by Greene or his friends, and that’s probably why Greene made his bitter comment.
Says Dugald Stewart in his Essays:—A curious specimen of cotemporary criticism is found in the Letters of the celebrated Waller, who speaks thus of the first appearance of Paradise Lost:—“The old blind schoolmaster, John Milton, hath published a tedious poem on the Fall of Man. If its length be not considered as merit, it has no other!” Johnson also says, in his Lives of the Poets: “Thompson has lately published a poem, called the Castle of Indolence, in which there are some good stanzas!”
Says Dugald Stewart in his Essays:—A curious example of contemporary criticism can be found in the Letters of the famous Waller, who comments on the first appearance of Paradise Lost:—“The old blind schoolmaster, John Milton, has published a long poem about the Fall of Man. Unless its length is seen as a merit, it has nothing else!” Johnson also remarks in his Lives of the Poets: “Thompson has recently published a poem called the Castle of Indolence, which contains some good stanzas!”
Why do not men of superior talents strive, for the honor of the arts which they love, to conceal their ignoble jealousies from the malignity of those whom incapacity and mortified pride have leagued together as the covenanted foes of worth and genius? What a triumph has been furnished to the writers who delight in levelling all the proud distinctions of humanity! and what a stain has been left on some of the fairest pages of our literary history by the irritable passions and petty hostilities of Pope and Addison!
Why don't talented people work harder, for the sake of the arts they love, to hide their petty jealousies from those whose incompetence and wounded pride have banded together as sworn enemies of talent and greatness? What a victory it has been for writers who thrive on tearing down the proud achievements of humanity! And what a blemish has been left on some of the most beautiful pages of our literary history by the bitter feelings and small-minded rivalries of Pope and Addison!
Michelet, the historian, showed his extreme aversion to the First Napoleon by describing him as “without eyelashes or eyebrows; with a small quantity of hair of an uncertain brown; with eyes gray, like a pane of glass, wherein one sees nothing; in short, an incomplete and obscure impersonality which appears phantasmagorical.”
Michelet, the historian, expressed his strong dislike for the First Napoleon by describing him as “without eyelashes or eyebrows; with a little bit of hair of an unclear brown; with gray eyes, like a piece of glass, where one sees nothing; in short, an incomplete and vague identity that seems ghostly.”
GREAT EVENTS FROM LITTLE CAUSES.
Fortuna quæ plurimum potest, cum in aliis rebus, tum præcipue in bello, in parvis momentis magnus rerum mutationes efficit.—Cæsar, De Bello Civili.
Luck, which holds the greatest power in many situations, especially in war, can lead to massive changes in an instant.—Caesar, On the Civil War.
In Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1758, Franklin quotes,—“He adviseth to circumspection and care even in the smallest matters, because sometimes ‘A little neglect may breed great mischief,’ adding, ‘For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; for want of a horse the rider was lost’; being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for want of care about a horse-shoe nail.” And St. James (ch. iii. v. 5) gives a fine illustration in respect to the government of the tongue, “Behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth.”
In Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1758, Franklin quotes, “He advises being careful and attentive even in the smallest matters, because sometimes ‘A little neglect can lead to big problems,’ adding, ‘For want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe, the horse was lost; for want of a horse, the rider was lost’; ending up captured and killed by the enemy, all due to neglecting a horse-shoe nail.” And St. James (ch. iii. v. 5) provides a great example regarding how we control our speech, “Look at how much damage a little fire can cause.”
In the relations of cause and consequence there must, of course, be many greater causes in readiness to act. An accidental spark may blow up a fortress—provided there be gunpowder in the magazine. But it is as legitimate as it is curious to trace the successive links of a chain of events back to small accidents.
In the relationships between cause and effect, there are definitely many bigger causes waiting to take action. An accidental spark can blow up a fortress—as long as there’s gunpowder in the storage. But it’s just as valid as it is interesting to trace the successive links of a chain of events back to small accidents.
“How momentous,” says Campbell, “are the results of apparently trivial circumstances! When Mahomet was flying from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave; which his pursuers would have entered, if they had not seen a spider’s web at the entrance. Not knowing that it was freshly woven, they passed by, and thus a spider’s web changed the history of the world.”
“How significant,” says Campbell, “are the outcomes of seemingly minor events! When Muhammad was fleeing from his enemies, he sought shelter in a cave; his pursuers would have entered if they hadn’t spotted a spider’s web at the entrance. Not realizing it was newly made, they walked past, and so a spider’s web altered the course of history.”
When Louis VII., to obey the injunctions of his bishops, cropped his hair and shaved his beard, Eleanor, his consort, found him, with this unusual appearance, very ridiculous, and soon very contemptible. She revenged herself as she thought proper, and the poor shaved king obtained a divorce. She then married the Count of Anjou, afterwards Henry II. of England. She had for her marriage-dower the rich provinces of Poitou and Guienne; and this was the origin of those wars which for three hundred years ravaged France, and cost the French three millions of men. All this probably had never occurred had Louis not been so rash as to crop his head, and shave his beard, by which he became so disgustful in the eyes of Queen Eleanor.
When Louis VII., following his bishops' orders, cut his hair and shaved his beard, Eleanor, his wife, found his unusual look quite ridiculous and soon utterly contemptible. She took her revenge in her own way, and the poor shaved king ended up getting a divorce. She then married the Count of Anjou, who became Henry II. of England. For her marriage dowry, she received the wealthy regions of Poitou and Guienne; this marked the beginning of the wars that devastated France for three hundred years and cost the French three million lives. None of this would have likely happened if Louis hadn't been foolish enough to cut his hair and shave his beard, making himself so repulsive in the eyes of Queen Eleanor.
801Warton mentions, in his Notes on Pope, that the Treaty of Utrecht was occasioned by a quarrel between the Duchess of Marlborough and Queen Anne about a pair of gloves.
801Warton points out in his Notes on Pope that the Treaty of Utrecht came about due to a dispute between the Duchess of Marlborough and Queen Anne over a pair of gloves.
The expedition to the island of Ré was undertaken to gratify a foolish and romantic passion of the Duke of Buckingham.
The trip to the island of Ré was taken to satisfy a silly and romantic desire of the Duke of Buckingham.
The coquetry of the daughter of Count Julian introduced the Saracens into Spain.
The flirtation of Count Julian's daughter brought the Saracens into Spain.
What can be imagined more trivial, remarks Hume, in one of his essays, than the difference between one color of livery and another in horse races? Yet this difference begat two most inveterate factions in the Greek empire, the Prasini and Veneti; who never suspended their animosities till they ruined that unhappy government.
What could be more trivial, Hume notes in one of his essays, than the difference between one color of racehorse uniform and another? Yet this difference led to two deeply entrenched factions in the Greek empire, the Prasini and Veneti, who never stopped their hostilities until they brought that unfortunate government to ruin.
The murder of Cæsar in the capitol was chiefly owing to his not rising from his seat when the senate tendered him some particular honors.
The murder of Caesar in the Capitol was mainly because he didn't get up from his seat when the Senate offered him some special honors.
The negotiations with the Pope for dissolving Henry VIII.’s marriage (which brought on the Reformation) are said to have been interrupted by the Earl of Wiltshire’s dog biting his holiness’s toe, when he put it out to be kissed by that ambassador; and the Duchess of Marlborough’s spilling a basin of water on Mrs. Masham’s gown, in Queen Anne’s reign, brought in the Tory Ministry, and gave a new turn to the affairs of Europe.
The discussions with the Pope about dissolving Henry VIII's marriage (which led to the Reformation) were reportedly interrupted when the Earl of Wiltshire’s dog bit the Pope's toe as he extended it for the ambassador to kiss; and the Duchess of Marlborough spilling a basin of water on Mrs. Masham’s dress during Queen Anne’s reign led to the rise of the Tory Ministry and changed the course of European affairs.
If the nose of Cleopatra had been shorter, said Pascal, in his epigrammatic and brilliant manner, the condition of the world would have been different.
If Cleopatra's nose had been shorter, Pascal said in his witty and brilliant way, the state of the world would be different.
Luther might have been a lawyer, had his friend and companion escaped the thunderstorm; Scotland had wanted her stern reformer, if the appeal of the preacher had not startled him in the chapel of St Andrew’s Castle; and if Mr. Grenville had not carried, in 1764, his memorable resolution as to the expediency of charging certain stamp duties on the plantations in America, the western world might still have bowed to the British sceptre.
Luther could have been a lawyer if his friend had made it through the storm; Scotland needed her strict reformer, if the preacher's call hadn’t surprised him in the chapel of St. Andrew’s Castle; and if Mr. Grenville hadn’t pushed for his important resolution in 1764 about imposing certain stamp duties on the American plantations, the western world might still be under British rule.
Giotto, one of the early Florentine painters, might have continued 802a rude shepherd boy, if a sheep drawn by him upon a stone had not accidentally attracted the notice of Cimabue.
Giotto, one of the early Florentine painters, might have remained a poor shepherd boy if a sheep he had drawn on a stone hadn’t accidentally caught Cimabue's attention.
THE SIGNING OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
Mr. Jefferson used to relate, with much merriment, that the final signing of the Declaration of Independence was hastened by an absurdly trivial cause. Near the hall in which the debates were then held was a livery stable, from which swarms of flies came into the open windows and assailed the silk-stockinged legs of honorable members. Handkerchief in hand they lashed the flies with such vigor as they could command on a July afternoon, but the annoyance became at length so extreme as to render them impatient of delay, and they made haste to bring the momentous business to a conclusion.
Mr. Jefferson used to share, with great amusement, that the final signing of the Declaration of Independence was rushed by a ridiculously trivial reason. Near the hall where the debates were taking place was a livery stable, which sent swarms of flies into the open windows, attacking the silk-stockinged legs of the esteemed members. With handkerchiefs in hand, they swatted the flies with whatever energy they could muster on a July afternoon, but the annoyance eventually became so unbearable that they grew impatient and worked quickly to wrap up the important task at hand.
After such a long and severe strain upon their minds, members seem to have indulged in many a jocular observation as they stood around the table. Tradition has it that when John Hancock had affixed his magnificent signature to the paper, he said, “There, John Bull may read my name without spectacles!” Tradition, also, will never relinquish the pleasure of repeating that, when Mr. Hancock reminded members of the necessity of hanging together, Dr. Franklin was ready with his “Yes, we must indeed all hang together, or else, most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” And this may have suggested to the portly Harrison—a “luxurious, heavy gentleman,” as John Adams describes him—his remark to slender Elbridge Gerry, that when the hanging came he should have the advantage, for poor Gerry would be kicking in the air long after it was all over with himself.
After such a long and intense pressure on their minds, the members seemed to have lightened the mood with several jokes as they gathered around the table. Legend has it that when John Hancock signed the document with his bold signature, he exclaimed, “Now, John Bull can read my name without glasses!” Additionally, tradition delights in recalling that when Mr. Hancock urged everyone about the importance of standing united, Dr. Franklin quipped, “Yes, we must all hang together, or we will definitely all hang separately.” This may have inspired the rotund Harrison—a “luxurious, heavy gentleman,” as John Adams called him—to tell the slim Elbridge Gerry that when the hanging occurred, he would have the upper hand, as poor Gerry would be kicking in the air long after it was all over for him.
French critics censure Shakspeare for mingling buffoonery with scenes of the deepest tragic interest. But here we find one of the most important assemblies ever convened, at the supreme moment of its existence, while performing the act that gives it its rank among deliberate bodies, cracking jokes, and hurrying up to the table to sign, in order to escape the flies. It is precisely so that Shakspeare would have imagined the scene.
French critics criticize Shakespeare for mixing humor with deeply tragic moments. Yet here we witness one of the most significant meetings ever held, at the crucial moment of its existence, while carrying out the action that defines it as an intentional assembly, making jokes and rushing to the table to sign, all to avoid the flies. This is exactly how Shakespeare would have envisioned the scene.
THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA.
According to a Spanish tradition the discovery of America is mainly due to the result of a hard-fought game of chess. Columbus had for seven weary years been dancing attendance upon the Court of Spain in pursuance of the aim of his life. The anxious petitioner for royal favor and assistance had failed to arouse in Ferdinand sufficient interest, in what was declared by the commissioners appointed to report upon the project, to be a visionary and impracticable scheme. True, he had enlisted the sympathy of the good queen Isabella, and his hopes had been encouraged and sustained by her in many ways. But after years of vain solicitation, baffled by the skepticism which could not share his aspirations, he determined to lay his plans before Charles VIII. of France, and accordingly called to take leave of their majesties before his departure from Cordova. Arriving at the palace at nightfall, he announced his purpose to the queen, who instantly sought Ferdinand with a determination to make a final effort on behalf of the sad and discouraged suitor. The king was absorbed in a game of chess with a grandee whose skill taxed his powers to the utmost. Isabella’s interruption had the effect of distracting the monarch’s attention, and of causing him to lose his principal piece, which was followed by a volley of imprecations on mariners in general, and Columbus in particular. The game grew worse, and defeat seemed imminent. With the prospect of being vanquished, Ferdinand at length told the queen that her protegé should be successful or otherwise accordingly as the game resulted. She immediately bent all her energies upon the board, and watched the long contest with concentrated interest. The courtiers clustered around the table, amused at the excitement of the king and the quiet satisfaction of his antagonist. And so the game went on which was to decide the discovery of a new world, until Isabella leaned toward her husband’s ear and whispered, “you can checkmate him in four moves.” In the utmost astonishment Ferdinand re-examined the game, found the queen’s assertion 804correct, and in the course of a few minutes announced that Columbus should depart on his voyage with the title of Admiral of the Elect.
According to a Spanish tradition, the discovery of America mainly came from a hard-fought game of chess. Columbus had spent seven exhausting years trying to win the favor of the Court of Spain for his life's ambition. The anxious petitioner for royal support and assistance had failed to spark enough interest in Ferdinand, as the commissioners who reviewed the project deemed it a fanciful and impractical idea. True, he had gained the sympathy of the kind queen Isabella, who encouraged and supported him in many ways. However, after years of futile requests and facing skepticism that couldn't share his dreams, he decided to present his plans to Charles VIII of France and went to bid farewell to their majesties before leaving Cordova. Arriving at the palace at night, he informed the queen of his intentions, and she immediately sought out Ferdinand, determined to make one last effort for the sad and discouraged suitor. The king was deeply engrossed in a chess game with a nobleman, whose skill pushed him to his limits. Isabella’s interruption distracted the king and caused him to lose his key piece, followed by a flurry of curses aimed at sailors in general and Columbus in particular. The game worsened, and defeat appeared imminent. Facing the possibility of losing, Ferdinand finally told the queen that her protegé would succeed or fail based on the outcome of the game. She then focused all her energy on the board, watching the extended match with intense concentration. The courtiers gathered around the table, entertained by the king's anxiety and the calm satisfaction of his opponent. The game continued, which would ultimately determine the discovery of a new world, until Isabella leaned closer to her husband and whispered, “you can checkmate him in four moves.” In utter surprise, Ferdinand re-evaluated the game, found the queen’s statement to be true, and within a few minutes announced that Columbus would set off on his voyage with the title of Admiral of the Elect.
THE STORY OF TWO FAVORITE BALLADS.
ANNIE LAURIE.
The birth of the heroine of the well-known ballad of Annie Laurie is quaintly recorded by her father, Sir Robert Laurie, of Maxwelltown, in the family register, in these words:—
The birth of the heroine of the famous ballad of Annie Laurie is charmingly noted by her father, Sir Robert Laurie, of Maxwelltown, in the family record, in these words:—
“At the pleasure of the Almighty God, my daughter, Annie Laurie, was born on the 16th day of December, 1682 years, about 6 o’clock in the morning, and was baptised by Mr. Geo.” [Hunter, of Glencairn.]
“At the pleasure of Almighty God, my daughter, Annie Laurie, was born on December 16, 1682, around 6 o’clock in the morning, and was baptized by Mr. Geo.” [Hunter, of Glencairn.]
And his own marriage is given in the same quaint style:—
And his own marriage is described in the same charming way:—
These statements are derived from the curious collection of manuscripts left by the late Mr. W. F. H. Arundell, of Barjarg Tower, Dumfriesshire. The papers of this industrious collector contain a vast fund of information respecting the antiquities and county families of Dumfriesshire. From them we learn further that Annie was wooed by William Douglas, of Fingland, in Kirkcudbrightshire. Her charms are thus spoken of in his pathetic lyric, “Bonnie Annie Laurie”:—
These statements come from the interesting collection of manuscripts left by the late Mr. W. F. H. Arundell, of Barjarg Tower, Dumfriesshire. The papers of this dedicated collector contain a wealth of information about the antiquities and prominent families of Dumfriesshire. From them, we also learn that Annie was pursued by William Douglas, of Fingland, in Kirkcudbrightshire. Her beauty is described in his emotive song, “Bonnie Annie Laurie”:—
“She was, however, obdurate to his passionate appeal, preferring Alexander Ferguson, of Craigdarroch, to whom she was 805eventually married. This William Douglas was said to have been the hero of the well-known song, “Willie was a Wanton Wag.” Though he was refused by Annie, he did not pine away in single blessedness, but made a runaway marriage with Miss Elizabeth Clark, of Glenboig, in Galloway, by whom he had four sons and two daughters.”
“She was, however, stubborn to his passionate appeal, preferring Alexander Ferguson of Craigdarroch, whom she eventually married. This William Douglas was said to be the hero of the well-known song, 'Willie was a Wanton Wag.' Even though Annie turned him down, he didn't mope around in single life; instead, he eloped with Miss Elizabeth Clark of Glenboig in Galloway, and they had four sons and two daughters.”
ROBIN ADAIR.
Robin Adair was well-known in the London fashionable circles of the last century by the sobriquet of the “Fortunate Irishman;” but his parentage and the exact place of his birth are unknown. He was brought up as a surgeon, but “his detection in an early amour drove him precipitately from Dublin,” to push his fortunes in England. Scarcely had he crossed the Channel when the chain of lucky events that ultimately led him to fame and fortune commenced.
Robin Adair was famous in the trendy social scene of London last century with the nickname "The Fortunate Irishman." However, no one knows his family background or where he was born. He trained to be a surgeon, but “getting caught up in an early romance forced him to flee Dublin” in search of better opportunities in England. Hardly had he crossed the Channel when a series of fortunate events began that eventually brought him fame and success.
Near Holyhead, perceiving a carriage overturned, he ran to render assistance. The sole occupant of this vehicle was a “lady of fashion, well-known in polite circles,” who received Adair’s attentions with thanks; and, being lightly hurt, and hearing that he was a surgeon, requested him to travel with her in her carriage to London. On their arrival in the metropolis she presented him with a fee of one hundred guineas, and gave him a general invitation to her house. In after life Adair used to say that it was not so much the amount of this fee, but the time it was given, that was of service to him, as he was then almost destitute. But the invitation to her house was a still greater service, for there he met the person who decided his fate in life. This was Lady Caroline Keppel, daughter of the second Earl of Albemarle and of Lady Anne Lenox, daughter of the first Duke of Richmond. Forgetting her high lineage, Lady Caroline, at the first sight of the Irish surgeon, fell desperately in love with him; and her emotions were so sudden and so violent as to attract the general attention of the company.
Near Holyhead, seeing an overturned carriage, he ran to help. The only person inside was a “lady of fashion, well-known in polite circles,” who accepted Adair’s assistance gratefully. She was only slightly hurt, and upon learning he was a surgeon, asked him to ride with her in her carriage to London. When they arrived in the city, she gave him a fee of one hundred guineas and invited him to her home anytime. Later in life, Adair would say that it wasn't just the money that helped him, but the timing of it, as he was nearly broke. However, the invitation to her house was even more beneficial, as there he met the person who would change his life. This was Lady Caroline Keppel, daughter of the second Earl of Albemarle and Lady Anne Lenox, daughter of the first Duke of Richmond. Forgetting her noble background, Lady Caroline instantly fell deeply in love with the Irish surgeon, and her feelings were so sudden and intense that they caught the attention of everyone around.
Adair, perceiving his advantage, lost no time in pursuing it; while the Albemarle and Richmond families were dismayed at 806the prospect of such a terrible mesalliance. Every means were tried to induce the young lady to alter her mind, but without effect. Adair’s biographer tells us that “amusements, a long journey, an advantageous offer, and other common modes of shaking off what was considered by the family as an improper match, were already tried, but in vain; the health of Lady Caroline was evidently impaired, and the family at last confessed, with a good sense that reflects honor on their understandings as well as their hearts, that it was possible to prevent, but never to dissolve an attachment; and that marriage was the honorable, and indeed the only alternative that could secure her happiness and life.”
Adair, seeing his opportunity, wasted no time acting on it; while the Albemarle and Richmond families were shocked by the idea of such a terrible mesalliance. They tried everything to persuade the young woman to change her mind, but nothing worked. Adair’s biographer tells us that “entertainments, a long trip, a favorable proposal, and other common methods to break off what the family considered an unsuitable match were attempted, but to no avail; Lady Caroline’s health was clearly suffering, and the family eventually acknowledged, with a sense of understanding that honors both their minds and their hearts, that it was possible to prevent, but never to break an attachment; and that marriage was the honorable, and in fact the only option that could ensure her happiness and well-being.”
When Lady Caroline was taken by her friends from London to Bath, that she might be separated from her lover, she wrote, it is said, the song of “Robin Adair,” and set it to a plaintive Irish tune that she had heard him sing. Whether written by Lady Caroline or not, the song is simply expressive of her feelings at the time, and as it completely corroborates the circumstances just related, which were the town-talk of the period, though now little more than family tradition, there can be no doubt that they were the origin of the song, the words of which, as originally written, are the following:—
When Lady Caroline was taken by her friends from London to Bath to be separated from her lover, she reportedly wrote the song “Robin Adair” and set it to a sad Irish tune she had heard him sing. Whether Lady Caroline actually wrote it or not, the song clearly expresses her emotions at the time, and since it perfectly aligns with the circumstances mentioned, which were the talk of the town back then but are now mostly just family lore, there’s no doubt that they inspired the song. The original lyrics are as follows:—
Immediately after his marriage with Lady Caroline, Adair was appointed Inspector General of Military Hospitals, and subsequently, becoming a favorite of George III., he was made Surgeon-General, King’s Sergeant Surgeon, and Surgeon of Chelsea Hospital. Very fortunate men have seldom many friends, but Adair, by declining a baronetcy that was offered to him by the king, for surgical attendance on the Duke of Gloucester, actually acquired considerable popularity before his death, which took place when he was nearly fourscore years of age, in 1790. In the “Gentleman’s Magazine” of that year there are verses “On the Death of Robert Adair, Esq., late Surgeon-General, by J. Crane, M. D.,” who, it is to be hoped, was a much better physician than a poet.
Immediately after marrying Lady Caroline, Adair was appointed Inspector General of Military Hospitals. Later, after becoming a favorite of George III, he was made Surgeon-General, King’s Sergeant Surgeon, and Surgeon of Chelsea Hospital. Very fortunate people usually don’t have many friends, but Adair gained considerable popularity before his death by turning down a baronetcy offered to him by the king for his surgical assistance to the Duke of Gloucester. He passed away at nearly eighty years old in 1790. The “Gentleman’s Magazine” from that year features verses “On the Death of Robert Adair, Esq., late Surgeon-General, by J. Crane, M. D.,” who, one hopes, was a much better doctor than poet.
Lady Caroline Adair’s married life was short but happy. She died of consumption, after giving birth to three children, one of them a son. On her death-bed she requested Adair to wear mourning for her as long as he lived; which he scrupulously did, save on the king’s and queen’s birthdays, when his duty to his sovereign required him to appear at Court in full dress. If this injunction respecting mourning were to prevent Adair marrying again, it had the desired effect; he did not marry a second time, though he had many offers.
Lady Caroline Adair’s married life was brief but joyful. She passed away from tuberculosis after having three children, including a son. On her deathbed, she asked Adair to wear black for her for the rest of his life, and he faithfully honored that request, except on the king’s and queen’s birthdays, when he had to appear at Court in formal attire. If this request about mourning was meant to stop Adair from marrying again, it worked; he never remarried, despite receiving many proposals.
JOAN OF ARC.
The legend respecting the substitution of another person at the stake, and the subsequent marriage of the Maid to Robert des Hermoises, has been treated by no less an iconoclast than M. Octave Delepierre, the learned Belgian Consul in England, in a 808volume (Doute Historique), privately printed. In the Athenæum for September 15, 1855, there is a complete analysis of the story, from which it appears that more than two centuries after the alleged execution of Joan, namely in 1645, Father Vignier found documents among the archives at Metz, which spoke of the presence and recognition of Joan in that city, five years after her alleged execution. The Father was then a guest of a descendant of Robert des Hermoises, in whose muniment chest he discovered the marriage contract of Robert and Joan. The matter was forgotten, when in 1740, documents were found at Orleans which recorded, among other things, a gratuity made to Joan in 1439, “for services rendered by her at the siege of the same city, 210 livres.” The tradition has many singular points, and is full of delightful uncertainty.
The story about someone taking Joan's place at the stake and her later marriage to Robert des Hermoises has been discussed by the notable critic M. Octave Delepierre, the knowledgeable Belgian Consul in England, in a privately printed volume called Doute Historique. In the Athenæum from September 15, 1855, there is a thorough analysis of the tale. It shows that over two centuries after Joan's supposed execution, specifically in 1645, Father Vignier found documents in the Metz archives that mentioned Joan's presence and recognition in that city, five years after she was said to have been executed. At that time, the Father was staying with a descendant of Robert des Hermoises, where he found the marriage contract between Robert and Joan in the family records. The topic faded from memory until 1740, when documents in Orleans were discovered that noted, among other things, a payment to Joan in 1439, “for services rendered by her at the siege of the same city, 210 livres.” The tradition has many unique aspects and is filled with intriguing uncertainty.
AMY ROBSART.
Another time-honored illusion is gone, and Amy Robsart descends into the grave like a respectable lady, instead of disappearing through a trap-door into a vault beneath and breaking her neck. So one by one the pleasant fictions over which in youth we lingered with such keen enjoyment, are stripped of their reality, and nothing but dull prose is left in their place. The pretty legend of Pocahontas, the venerable and patriotic one of William Tell, the ingenious mystification between the island of Juan Fernandez, Alexander Selkirk, and Robinson Crusoe, all have been cast down from their shrines. Nay, attempts have been made to remove Shakspeare himself into the region of myth, by representing that Lord Bacon was the veritable author of the plays and poems supposed to have been written by the great bard of Avon. No one need now despair of the disappearance of any time-honored personage or romance.
Another classic illusion is gone, and Amy Robsart sinks into the grave like a respectable woman, instead of vanishing through a trapdoor into a vault below and breaking her neck. So, one by one, the delightful myths we cherished in our youth are stripped of their truth, leaving behind nothing but dull reality. The charming story of Pocahontas, the age-old and patriotic tale of William Tell, the clever mix-up between the island of Juan Fernandez, Alexander Selkirk, and Robinson Crusoe, all have been taken down from their pedestals. Moreover, there have been attempts to move Shakespeare himself into the realm of myth by suggesting that Lord Bacon was the true author of the plays and poems attributed to the great bard of Avon. No one now needs to worry about the disappearance of any cherished figure or story.
The name of Amy Robsart has always possessed a peculiar interest, not merely on account of the historical associations 809connected with her, but for the halo with which romance and poetry have invested her; and not the least strange feature of the case is the fact that historians should have so generally ignored the falsity of the legend. It had lain wrapped in its venerable mantle for more than three hundred years, until very recently, when public attention was forcibly called to the subject by an article published in the Oxford Undergraduates’ Journal, England. In a communication in that periodical, from the Secretary to the Oxford Architectural and Historical Society, there is a statement to the following effect: “The Rev. J. Burgon, the Vicar of St. Mary’s (Oxford), has caused an inscription to be cut on the top step of the three steps leading to the chancel of St. Mary’s Church, commemorating the site of the interment of the ill-fated Amy Robsart. The inscription is as follows: ‘In a vault of brick, at the upper end of this quire, was buried Amy Robsart, wife of Lord Robert Dudley, K. G., Sunday, 22d September, A. D. 1560.’” History tells us that the funeral was celebrated with great pomp: but previously to the ceremony, a coroner’s inquest was held on the body, and after a long and minute investigation of the circumstances, a verdict of “accidental death,” was returned. The character of the Earl of Leicester, (Lord Robert Dudley) her husband, was such as to raise grave doubts as to the mode by which she came by her death, and the popular belief that Queen Elizabeth was in love with him, and was willing to marry him, gave great countenance to the prevailing suspicion that he had kept his marriage a secret, and got rid of his wife to enable him to carry out his ambitious schemes. The historian, Hume, alludes to these reports, which, however, he derived from Camden, the antiquary, and which very probably originated in the political hostility and personal hatred of Cecil, Walsingham, and others of Leicester’s mortal enemies. Ashmole, in his work, The Antiquities of Berkshire gives the popular legend from which Sir Walter Scott derived many of the materials for his beautiful romance of Kenilworth.
The name Amy Robsart has always been oddly fascinating, not just because of the historical connections linked to her, but also due to the romantic and poetic aura surrounding her. One of the strangest aspects is that historians have largely overlooked the inaccuracies of the legend. It remained shrouded in this ancient story for over three hundred years, until recently, when public interest was sparked by an article in the Oxford Undergraduates’ Journal in England. In a communication in that publication, the Secretary of the Oxford Architectural and Historical Society mentioned that “The Rev. J. Burgon, the Vicar of St. Mary’s (Oxford), has had an inscription carved on the top step of the three steps leading to the chancel of St. Mary’s Church, honoring the site of Amy Robsart's burial. The inscription reads: ‘In a vault of brick, at the upper end of this quire, was buried Amy Robsart, wife of Lord Robert Dudley, K. G., Sunday, 22nd September, A.D. 1560.’” History tells us that her funeral was held with great grandeur; however, before the ceremony, a coroner’s inquest was conducted on her body, and after a thorough investigation, the verdict was “accidental death.” The character of the Earl of Leicester (Lord Robert Dudley), her husband, raised serious doubts about how she died, and the widespread belief that Queen Elizabeth was in love with him and wanted to marry him fueled the suspicion that he had kept his marriage a secret and got rid of his wife to pursue his ambitions. The historian Hume references these rumors, which he obtained from Camden, the antiquary, and they likely stemmed from the political animosity and personal hatred from Cecil, Walsingham, and other enemies of Leicester. Ashmole, in his work, The Antiquities of Berkshire, presents the popular legend that Sir Walter Scott used for many elements in his beautiful novel Kenilworth.
810Ashmole wrote his book about the middle of the seventeenth century, a hundred years after the fatal event at Cumnor Hall; he is, therefore, no authority on the subject; but William Julius Mickle, the poet, took him for one a century later, and turned the story into verse. And thus, between political hostility, personal dislike, the non-authenticated statements of historians, antiquaries, poets and novelists, it has long been accepted as an undoubted fact that Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester, murdered his wife, or was accessory to her murder, at Cumnor Hall. But it has been very generally overlooked that his alleged main motive for the supposed murder could have had no existence. There is no doubt the Queen knew he was married, but she continued to disgrace herself by open professions of attachment to him notwithstanding; and after Amy’s sudden death, the inquest on her body, and her public funeral, “Good Queen Bess” was just as fond of him as ever, and showered such favors upon him as could have left him but little to wish for. He knew perfectly well that a marriage between himself and Elizabeth would have convulsed the kingdom, and probably cost him his life. He also knew that she had no real intention of parting with one iota of the royal power or prerogative, even to him, and hence the motive for the so-called murder falls to the ground, and with it the pathetic romance built upon it.
810Ashmole wrote his book around the middle of the seventeenth century, a hundred years after the tragic incident at Cumnor Hall; therefore, he is not a reliable source on the topic. However, a century later, the poet William Julius Mickle considered him an authority and adapted the story into verse. As a result, due to political rivalry, personal animosity, and the unverifiable claims of historians, antiquarians, poets, and novelists, it has long been accepted as an undeniable fact that Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester, murdered his wife or was involved in her murder at Cumnor Hall. Yet, it has often been overlooked that the supposed main reason for this alleged murder likely never existed. There is no doubt that the Queen knew he was married, but she continued to embarrass herself with public displays of affection for him anyway; and after Amy’s sudden death, the inquest into her death, and her public funeral, “Good Queen Bess” was just as fond of him as before, showering him with such favors that he must have wanted for nothing. He was fully aware that a marriage between himself and Elizabeth would have caused turmoil in the kingdom and possibly cost him his life. He also recognized that she had no real intention of giving up any part of her royal power or authority, even to him; thus, the motive for the alleged murder collapses, along with the sentimental romance based on it.
WILLIAM TELL.
William Tell is very hard to kill. German writers in the last century demolish him, over and over again, but to little purpose. He remained the Swiss hero, and what is far worse, those hideous statues at Altorf continue to assert their undying ugliness, and pretend to prove, by their presence there, the truth of the story. The giant has been recently slain once more as an impostor. Once more? Half a dozen times; and each slayer takes himself for the sole and original champion. Swiss 811professors even have been at the work of demolition. Three or four years ago Mr. Baring-Gould, in his “Curious Myths of the Middle Ages,” set up a dozen of those myths, and bowled them all down at one bowl: he proved, as others had done, that the legend of William Tell was “as fabulous as any other historical event.” Mr. Baring-Gould, however, does more than some others have done. He traces the story as far back as it can be traced. This is the order of the tradition:—
William Tell is really hard to take down. German writers in the last century have tried to discredit him repeatedly, but with little success. He stays the Swiss hero, and what’s even worse, those ugly statues in Altorf keep insisting on their lasting hideousness, pretending to validate the story just by being there. The giant has recently been taken down again as a fake. Again? At least half a dozen times; and each conqueror believes they are the only and original hero. Swiss professors have even joined in on the discrediting. Three or four years ago, Mr. Baring-Gould, in his “Curious Myths of the Middle Ages,” knocked down a dozen of those myths in one go: he showed, as others have, that the legend of William Tell was “as fictional as any other historical event.” However, Mr. Baring-Gould does more than some others have done. He traces the story as far back as it can go. This is the order of the tradition:—
1. In the tenth century a tippling, boasting Danish soldier, named Toki, swore he could drive an arrow through an apple, placed on the point of a stick, at a great distance. King Harald Bluetooth told the boaster that the apple should be placed on his son’s head, and if Toki did not send an arrow through it at the first attempt, his own head should pay the penalty. Toki performed the feat with perfect success; but Harald perceiving he had brought other arrows, demanded the reason thereof, and Toki replied that if he had injured his son he would have driven those other arrows into the King’s body. The story was first related by Saxo Grammaticus, in the twelfth century.
1. In the tenth century, a bragging Danish soldier named Toki claimed he could shoot an arrow through an apple balanced on a stick from a great distance. King Harald Bluetooth challenged him, suggesting the apple be placed on his son's head, and if Toki missed on his first try, he would lose his own head. Toki successfully hit the target, but Harald noticed he had brought other arrows and asked why. Toki replied that if he had harmed the king's son, he would have aimed those extra arrows at the king himself. The story was first told by Saxo Grammaticus in the twelfth century.
2. But in the eleventh century the above prototype of Tell had successors or imitators. King Olaf, the Saint of Norway, challenged Eindridi, among other things, to shoot with an arrow at a writing tablet on the head of Eindridi’s son. Each was to have one shot. Olaf grazed the boy’s head, whereupon the boy’s mother interfered, and Eindridi was withdrawn from the contest. Olaf remarked that his competitor had a second arrow, which Eindridi confessed that he intended for his Majesty if anything very unpleasant had happened to the boy.
2. But in the eleventh century, the original version of Tell had successors or imitators. King Olaf, the Saint of Norway, challenged Eindridi to shoot an arrow at a writing tablet placed on the head of Eindridi’s son. Each was allowed one shot. Olaf grazed the boy's head, prompting the boy's mother to intervene, and Eindridi was pulled from the contest. Olaf pointed out that his rival had a second arrow, which Eindridi admitted he planned to use on the King if anything serious had happened to the boy.
3. A year or two later in this eleventh century, another Norse archer, Hemingr, had a match with King Harold. Harold set a spear-shaft for a mark in the ground. He then fired in the air; the arrow turned in its descent and pierced the spear-shaft. Hemingr followed suit, and split the King’s arrow, which was perpendicularly fixed in the spear-shaft. Then the King stuck a knife in an oak. His arrow went into the haft. 812Hemingr shot, and his arrow cleft the haft and went into the socket of the blade. The enraged King next fired at a tender twig, which his arrow pierced, but Hemingr’s split a hazel-nut growing upon it. “You shall put the nut on your brother Bjorn’s head,” said Harold, “and if you do not pierce it with your spear at the first attempt, your life shall be forfeited.” Of course the thing was done. Hemingr is supposed to have had his revenge by sending an arrow through Harold’s trachea at the battle of Stamford Bridge, where he fought on the English side.
3. A year or two later in the eleventh century, another Norse archer, Hemingr, faced off against King Harold. Harold set a spear-shaft as a target in the ground. He then shot an arrow into the air; it turned on its way down and hit the spear-shaft. Hemingr followed suit and split the King’s arrow, which was stuck upright in the spear-shaft. Then the King drove a knife into an oak tree. His arrow landed in the handle. Hemingr shot next, and his arrow sliced through the handle and hit the blade’s socket. Furious, the King then aimed at a small twig, which his arrow pierced, but Hemingr’s hit a hazel nut growing on it. “You should place the nut on your brother Bjorn’s head,” Harold said, “and if you don’t hit it with your spear on the first try, you will lose your life.” Naturally, he succeeded. Hemingr is believed to have taken his revenge by shooting an arrow through Harold’s neck during the battle of Stamford Bridge, where he fought for the English.
4. In the Faroe Isles, the above Harold is said to have had a swimming-match with a certain Geyti, who not only beat him, but gave him a ducking. Harold condemned him to shoot a hazel-nut off his brother’s head, under the usual penalty, and with the usual result.
4. In the Faroe Islands, it’s said that Harold had a swimming match with a guy named Geyti, who not only won but also dunked him. Harold challenged him to shoot a hazelnut off his brother's head, with the usual consequence, and it ended the same way as always.
5. The same story is told of one Puncher, (suggestive name,) with this difference, that the object aimed at was a coin.
5. The same story is told about someone named Puncher, (a fitting name,) with the difference that the target was a coin.
6. In Finland, it is a son who shoots an apple off his father’s head; for which feat some robbers, who had captured his sire, gave him up to the son.
6. In Finland, it’s a son who shoots an apple off his father’s head; for this amazing feat, some robbers who had captured his dad handed him over to the son.
7. In a Persian poem of the twelfth century, a King, in sport, shoots an arrow at an apple on the head of his favorite page, who, though not hurt, died of the fright.
7. In a Persian poem from the twelfth century, a King, in jest, shoots an arrow at an apple on the head of his favorite page, who, although unharmed, died from sheer fright.
8. The story, with a difference, is told of Egil, in the Saga of Thidrik, of no particular date.
8. The story, with a twist, is told of Egil in the Saga of Thidrik, without a specific date.
9. It is familiar to us, in the English ballad of William of Cloudesley, chronological date of event uncertain.
9. We're familiar with the English ballad of William of Cloudesley, though the exact date of the events is unclear.
10. Enter William Tell, in the first decade of the fourteenth century. We need not tell his well-known tale again. It is only necessary to remark, by way of comment, that the Tell and Gesler legend was not set up till many years afterwards, and that in no contemporary record is any mention made of either Tell, Gesler, or the apple incident. No Vogt named Gesler ever exercised authority for the Emperor in Switzerland; no family bearing the name of Tell can be traced in any part of that country.
10. Enter William Tell, in the early 1300s. We don’t need to rehash his famous story. It’s only important to note that the legend of Tell and Gesler was created many years later, and there’s no mention of either Tell, Gesler, or the apple incident in any contemporary records. No Vogt named Gesler ever had authority for the Emperor in Switzerland; there’s no trace of any family with the name Tell in that country.
81311, and lastly. The hero’s name was not Tell at all, but M’Leod, and he came from Braemar. Mr. Baring-Gould has quite overlooked him. Therefore is the new claimant’s story here subjoined in order to make the roll of legends complete. It is taken from The Braemar Highlands; their Tales, Traditions and History, by Elizabeth Taylor. The King referred to is Malcolm Canmore.
81311, and finally. The hero’s name wasn’t Tell at all; it was M’Leod, and he was from Braemar. Mr. Baring-Gould completely overlooked him. So, the new claimant’s story is included here to complete the legends. It’s taken from The Braemar Highlands; their Tales, Traditions and History by Elizabeth Taylor. The King mentioned is Malcolm Canmore.
“A young man named M’Leod had been hunting one day in the royal forest. A favorite hound of the King’s having attacked M’Leod, was killed by him. The King soon heard of the slaughter of his favorite, and was exceedingly angry—so much so that M’Leod was condemned to death. The gibbet was erected on Craig Choinnich, i.e., Kennoth’s Craig. As there was less of justice than revenge in the sentence, little time was permitted ere it was carried into execution. The prisoner was led out by the north gate of the castle. The King, in great state, surrounded by a crowd of his nobles, followed in procession. Sorrowing crowds of the people came after, in wondering amazement. As they moved slowly on, an incident occurred which arrested universal attention. A woman with a child in her arms came rushing through the crowd, and throwing herself before the King, pleaded with him to spare her husband’s life, though it should be at the expense of all they possessed. Her impassioned entreaties were met with silence. Malcolm was not to be moved from his purpose of death. Seeing that her efforts to move the King were useless, she made her way to her husband, and throwing her arms around him declared that she would not leave him—she would go and die with him. Malcolm was somewhat moved by the touching scene. Allen Durward, noticing the favorable moment, ventured to put in the suggestion that it was a pity to hang such a splendid archer. ‘A splendid archer, is he?’ replied the King; ‘then he shall have his skill tried.’ So he ordered that M’Leod’s wife and child should be placed on the opposite side of the river; something to serve as a mark was to be placed on the child’s head. If M’Leod succeeded in hitting 814the mark without injuring his wife or child his life would be spared, otherwise the sentence was to be carried into execution. Accordingly (so the legend goes) the young wife and child were put across the river, and placed on Tomghainmheine; according to some, a little farther down the river, near where a boat-house once stood. The width of the Dee was to be the distance separating M’Leod from his mark. He asked for a bow and two arrows, and having examined each with the greatest care, he took his position. The eventful moment came, the people gathered round him, and stood in profound silence. On the opposite side of the river his wife stood, the central figure of a crowd of eager bystanders, tears glistening on her cheeks as she gazed alternately at her husband and child in dumb emotion. M’Leod took aim; but his body shook like an aspen-leaf in the evening breeze. This was a trial for him far harder than death. Again he placed himself in position; but he trembled to such a degree that he could not shoot, and turning to the King, who stood near, he said in a voice scarcely articulate in its suppressed agony, ‘This is hard!’ But the King relented not; so the third time he fell into the attitude, and as he did so, almost roared, ‘This is hard!’ Then as if all his nervousness had escaped through the cry, he let the arrow fly—it struck the mark! The mother seized her child, and in a transport of joy seemed to devour it with kisses; while the pent-up emotion of the crowd found vent through a loud cry of wonder and triumph, which repeated itself again and again as the echoes rolled slowly away among the neighboring hills. The King now approached M’Leod, and after confirming his pardon, inquired why he, so sure of hand and keen of sight, had asked two arrows? ‘Because,’ replied M’Leod, ‘had I missed the mark, or hurt my wife and child, I was determined not to miss you.’ The king grew pale, and turned away as if undecided what to do. His better nature prevailed; so he again approached M’Leod, and with kindly voice and manner told him that he would receive him into his body-guard, and he would be well provided for. ‘Never!’ answered the 815undaunted Celt. ‘After the painful proof to which you have just put my heart. I could never love you enough to serve you faithfully. The King in amazement cried out, ‘Thou art a Hardy! and as Hardy thou art, so Hardy thou shalt be.’” From that time M’Leod went under the appellation of Hardy, while his descendants were termed the M’Hardy’s—Mac being the Gaelic word for son. The date of the above is the eleventh century, when the legend burst forth in several parts of the world. Here we have it in Scotland. Like many other legends it probably came originally from India.
A young man named M’Leod was out hunting one day in the royal forest. A favorite hound of the King attacked M’Leod, and M’Leod ended up killing it. The King quickly learned about his beloved dog’s death and was extremely angry—so much so that he sentenced M’Leod to death. The gallows were set up on Craig Choinnich, also known as Kennoth’s Craig. The sentence was more about revenge than justice, and there was little time before it was carried out. The prisoner was led out through the north gate of the castle. The King, in a grand display, was surrounded by a crowd of his nobles following in a procession. Grieving crowds of people walked behind, filled with wonder and shock. As they slowly moved along, something happened that caught everyone’s attention. A woman holding a child rushed through the crowd, threw herself in front of the King, and begged him to spare her husband’s life, even if it cost them everything they had. Her passionate pleas were met with silence. Malcolm was resolute about carrying out the death sentence. Realizing that her attempts to sway the King were futile, she made her way to her husband, threw her arms around him, and declared that she would not leave him—she would die with him. Malcolm was somewhat moved by the emotional scene. Allen Durward, seeing the opportunity, suggested that it was a shame to hang such a great archer. “A great archer, is he?” replied the King; “then let’s put his skills to the test.” So he ordered that M’Leod’s wife and child be placed on the opposite side of the river, with something placed on the child’s head to serve as a target. If M’Leod could hit the mark without hurting his wife or child, his life would be spared; otherwise, the sentence would be carried out. According to the legend, the young wife and child were set across the river, on Tomghainmheine; some say a bit further down the river, near where a boat-house used to be. The width of the Dee would be the distance between M’Leod and his target. He asked for a bow and two arrows, carefully examined each one, and took his position. The moment of truth came, and the crowd gathered around him, standing in profound silence. On the opposite side of the river, his wife stood as the central figure among a crowd of eager onlookers, tears shining on her cheeks as she looked back and forth between her husband and child in silent emotion. M’Leod took aim, but his body shook like a leaf in the wind. This was a test far harder than death for him. He tried again, but trembled so much that he couldn’t shoot, and turning to the King, who stood nearby, he said in a barely audible voice filled with suppressed anguish, “This is hard!” But the King wouldn’t budge; so M’Leod took his position a third time and nearly shouted, “This is hard!” Just then, as if all his nervousness had released through that cry, he loosed the arrow—it struck the mark! The mother grabbed her child and, in a burst of joy, showered it with kisses, while the crowd’s pent-up emotion burst forth in loud cheers of wonder and triumph, echoing through the surrounding hills. The King approached M’Leod, confirmed his pardon, and asked why, being so skilled, he had requested two arrows. “Because,” M’Leod replied, “if I had missed the mark or harmed my wife and child, I was determined not to miss you.” The King turned pale, uncertain of what to do next. But his better nature took over; he approached M’Leod again and kindly offered to take him into his bodyguard and ensure he was well taken care of. “Never!” replied the indomitable Celt. “After the painful test you’ve just put my heart through, I could never love you enough to serve you faithfully.” The King exclaimed in amazement, “You are a Hardy! And as Hardy as you are, so Hardy you shall be.” From that time on, M’Leod was known as Hardy, and his descendants were called the M’Hardy’s—'Mac' being the Gaelic word for son. This story dates back to the eleventh century, when the legend emerged in various parts of the world. Here, we find it in Scotland. Like many other legends, it likely originated in India.
THE TIME OF LE GRAND MONARQUE.
Thackeray draws the following graphic picture of the extremes of society in Europe in the time of Louis XIV. Rarely is the contrast between “the boast of heraldry, the pomp of power,” and “the short and simple annals of the poor,” delineated with such masterly vigor. Referring to the influence of French fashions upon the German courts, he says:—
Thackeray paints a vivid picture of the stark differences in society during the time of Louis XIV. The contrast between “the boast of heraldry, the pomp of power,” and “the short and simple annals of the poor” is rarely illustrated with such skill. Speaking about the impact of French fashion on the German courts, he notes:—
It is incalculable how much that royal bigwig cost Germany. Every prince imitated the French king, and had his Versailles, his Wilhelmshöhe or Ludwigslust; his court and its splendors; his gardens laid out with statues; his fountains, and water-works, and Tritons; his actors, and dancers, and singers, and fiddlers; his harem, with its inhabitants; his diamonds and duchies for these latter; his enormous festivities, his gaming-tables, tournaments, masquerades, and banquets lasting a week long, for which the people paid with their money, when the poor wretches had it; with their bodies and very blood when they had none; being sold in thousands by their lords and masters, who gaily dealt in soldiers,—staked a regiment upon the red at the gambling table; swapped a battalion against a dancing-girl’s diamond necklace, and, as it were, pocketed their people.
It’s impossible to calculate how much that royal figure cost Germany. Every prince copied the French king, creating his own version of Versailles, Wilhelmshöhe, or Ludwigslust; his court with its opulence; his gardens filled with statues; his fountains and water features; his performers, dancers, singers, and musicians; his harem with its inhabitants; his diamonds and territories for these individuals; his extravagant celebrations, gambling tables, tournaments, masquerades, and week-long banquets, all financed by the people’s money—if they had it; or with their bodies and very blood when they didn’t; being sold off by thousands by their lords and masters, who casually traded soldiers—betting a regiment on red at the gambling table, swapping a battalion for a dancing girl’s diamond necklace, and, in a sense, pocketing their people.
As one views Europe, through contemporary books of travel, in the early part of the last century, the landscape is awful—wretched 816wastes, beggarly and plundered; half-burned cottages and trembling peasants gathering piteous harvests; gangs of such tramping along with bayonets behind them, and corporals with canes and cats-of-nine-tails to flog them to barracks. By these passes my lord’s gilt carriage, floundering through the ruts, as he swears at the postillions, and toils on to the Residenz. Hard by, but away from the noise and brawling of the citizens and buyers, is Wilhelmslust or Ludwigsruhe, or Monbijou, or Versailles—it scarcely matters which—near to the city, shut out by woods from the beggared country, the enormous, hideous, gilded, monstrous marble palace, where the prince is, and the Court, and the trim gardens, and huge fountains, and the forest where the ragged peasants are beating the game in (it is death to them to touch a feather); and the jolly hunt sweeps by with its uniform of crimson and gold; and the prince gallops ahead puffing his royal horn; and his lords and mistresses ride after him; and the stag is pulled down; and the grand huntsman gives the knife in the midst of a chorus of bugles; and ’tis time the court go home to dinner; and our noble traveller, it may be the Baron of Pöllnitz, or the Count de Königsmarck, or the excellent Chevalier de Seingalt, sees the procession gleaming through the trim avenues of the wood, and hastens to the inn, and sends his noble name to the marshal of the court. Then our nobleman arrays himself in green and gold, or pink and silver, in the richest Paris mode, and is introduced by the chamberlain, and makes his bow to the jolly prince, and the gracious princess; and is presented to the chief lords and ladies, and then comes supper and a bank at Faro, where he loses or wins a thousand pieces by daylight. If it is a German court, you may add not a little drunkenness to this picture of high life; but German, or French, or Spanish, if you can see out of your palace-windows beyond the trim-cut forest vistas, misery is lying outside; hunger is stalking about the bare villages, listlessly following precarious husbandry; ploughing stony fields with starved cattle; or fearfully taking 817in scanty harvests. Augustus is fat and jolly on his throne; he can knock down an ox, and eat one almost; his mistress, Aurora von Königsmarck, is the loveliest, the wittiest creature; his diamonds are the biggest and most brilliant in the world, and his feasts as splendid as those of Versailles. As for Louis the Great, he is more than mortal. Lift up your glances respectfully, and mark him eyeing Madame de Fontanges or Madame de Montespan from under his sublime periwig, as he passes through the great gallery where Villars and Vendome, and Berwick, and Bossuet, and Massillon are waiting. Can Court be more splendid; nobles and knights more gallant and superb; ladies more lovely? A grander monarch, or a more miserable starved wretch than the peasant his subject, you cannot look on. Let us bear both these types in mind, if we wish to estimate the old society properly. Remember the glory and the chivalry? Yes! Remember the grace and beauty, the splendor and lofty politeness; the gallant courtesy of Fontenoy where the French line bids the gentlemen of the English guard to fire first; the noble constancy of the old king and Villars his general, who fits out the last army with the last crown-piece from the treasury, and goes to meet the enemy and die or conquer for France at Denain. But round all that royal splendor lies a nation enslaved and ruined; there are people robbed of their rights—communities laid waste—faith, justice, commerce trampled upon, and well-nigh destroyed—nay, in the very centre of royalty itself, what horrible stains and meanness, crime and shame! It is but to a silly harlot that some of the noblest gentlemen, and some of the proudest women in the world are bowing down; it is the price of a miserable province that the king ties in diamonds round his mistress’s white neck. In the first half of the last century this is going on all Europe over. Saxony is a waste as well as Picardy or Artois; and Versailles is only larger and not worse than Herrenhausen.
As you look at Europe through modern travel books, the early part of the last century presents a grim picture—desolate wastelands, impoverished and looted; half-burned cottages and trembling peasants gathering pitiful harvests; groups of soldiers marching with bayonets at their backs, along with corporals carrying canes and whips to drive them to barracks. Nearby, my lord’s gilded carriage struggles through the ruts as he curses the postilions, laboring toward the Residenz. Not far away, removed from the clamor and chaos of the citizens and market-goers, lies Wilhelmslust or Ludwigsruhe, or Monbijou, or Versailles—it hardly matters which—close to the city but obscured by woods from the destitute countryside, the massive, grotesque, gilded marble palace where the prince and the Court reside, surrounded by manicured gardens, grand fountains, and the forest where the ragged peasants are hunting game (touching a feather can bring death to them); meanwhile, the cheerful hunt moves by in their striking crimson and gold uniforms; the prince leads the charge, sounding his royal horn; followed by his lords and ladies; the stag is brought down; and the grand huntsman delivers the killing blow amid a chorus of bugles; and then it’s time for the Court to head back for dinner; and our noble traveler, perhaps the Baron of Pöllnitz, the Count de Königsmarck, or the esteemed Chevalier de Seingalt, watches the procession shining through the neatly lined paths of the woods and hurries to the inn, sending his noble name to the court marshal. Then our nobleman dresses in green and gold, or pink and silver, in the finest Paris fashion, and is introduced by the chamberlain, bowing to the jovial prince and the gracious princess; he meets the main lords and ladies, followed by supper and a game of Faro, where he may win or lose a thousand pieces by daylight. If it’s a German court, you might add a good dose of drunkenness to this scene of high life; but whether it is German, French, or Spanish, if you can look out of your palace windows beyond the well-trimmed forest views, you’ll see misery lying outside; hunger wandering through the bare villages, listlessly following uncertain farming; plowing stony fields with starving cattle; or fearfully gathering meager harvests. Augustus is plump and jovial on his throne; he can take down an ox and nearly eat one; his mistress, Aurora von Königsmarck, is the loveliest, wittiest person; his diamonds are the largest and most brilliant in the world, and his banquets as lavish as those at Versailles. As for Louis the Great, he’s more than human. Lift your eyes respectfully, and see him watching Madame de Fontanges or Madame de Montespan from beneath his magnificent wig as he walks through the grand gallery where Villars, Vendome, Berwick, Bossuet, and Massillon are waiting. Can any Court be more magnificent; any nobles and knights more gallant and splendid; any ladies more beautiful? You won’t find a grander monarch or a more wretched, starving subject than the peasant under his rule. Let us keep both these types in mind if we want to properly assess the old society. Remember the glory and the chivalry? Yes! Remember the grace and beauty, the splendor and elevated politeness; the gallant courtesy at Fontenoy where the French line allows the gentlemen of the English guard to fire first; the noble determination of the old king and his general Villars, who outfitted the last army with the last coin from the treasury and went to meet the enemy to die or conquer for France at Denain. But surrounding all that royal extravagance lies a nation enslaved and ruined; there are people stripped of their rights—communities devastated—faith, justice, commerce trampled and nearly destroyed—indeed, at the very heart of royalty itself, what horrifying stains and degradation, crime and disgrace! It is to a foolish harlot that some of the noblest gentlemen and some of the proudest women in the world are bowing; it is the price of a miserable province that the king adorns his mistress’s white neck with diamonds. In the first half of the last century, this was happening all over Europe. Saxony is as desolate as Picardy or Artois; and Versailles is just larger and no worse than Herrenhausen.
THE BITER BIT.
Jerry White, the Chaplain to Cromwell, carried his ambition so far as to think of becoming son-in-law to his Highness, by marrying his daughter, the lady Frances; and as Jerry had those requisites that generally please the fair sex, he won the affections of the young lady: but as nothing of this sort could happen without the knowledge of the watchful father, who had his spies in every place, and about every person, it soon reached his ears. There were as weighty reasons for rejecting Jerry as there had been for dismissing His Majesty Charles II., who had been proposed by the Earl of Orrery as a husband. Oliver therefore, ordered the informer to observe and watch them narrowly; and promised that upon substantial proof of the truth of what he had declared, he should be as amply rewarded as Jerry severely punished. It was not long before the informer acquainted his Highness that the Chaplain was then with the lady; and upon hastening to his daughter’s apartment, he discovered the unfortunate Jerry upon his knees, kissing her Ladyship’s hand: seeing which, he hastily exclaimed, “What is the meaning of this posture before my daughter Frances?” The Chaplain, with great presence of mind, replied, “May it please your Highness, I have a long time courted that young gentlewoman there, my lady’s woman, and cannot prevail: I was therefore humbly praying her Ladyship to intercede for me.” Oliver, turning to the waiting-woman, said:—“What is the meaning of this? He is my friend, and I expect you should treat him as such:” who, desiring nothing more, replied, with a low courtesy, “If Mr. White intends me that honor, I shall not oppose him.” Upon which Oliver said, “We’ll call Goodwin: this business shall be done presently, before I go out of the room.” Jerry could not retreat. Goodwin came, and they were instantly married,—the bride, at the same time, receiving £500 from the Protector.
Jerry White, Cromwell's Chaplain, got ambitious enough to consider becoming his son-in-law by marrying his daughter, Lady Frances. Since Jerry had the qualities that usually attract women, he won the young lady's affections. However, nothing like this could happen without the watchful father's knowledge, as he had spies everywhere. Soon, word got back to him. There were strong reasons for rejecting Jerry, just as there had been for dismissing His Majesty Charles II., who had been suggested by the Earl of Orrery as a husband. Oliver then ordered the informer to keep a close eye on them and promised that if he provided solid proof of what he claimed, he would be generously rewarded while Jerry would be severely punished. It wasn't long before the informer informed his Highness that the Chaplain was with the lady. Rushing to his daughter's room, he found poor Jerry on his knees, kissing her hand. Seeing this, he exclaimed, “What’s going on here in front of my daughter Frances?” The Chaplain cleverly replied, “If it pleases your Highness, I have long courted that young woman over there, my lady’s maid, but haven’t succeeded. I was humbly asking her Ladyship to speak on my behalf.” Oliver then turned to the maid and asked, “What’s going on? He’s my friend, and I expect you to treat him like one.” The maid, wanting nothing more, responded with a slight bow, “If Mr. White offers me that honor, I won’t oppose it.” To which Oliver said, “Let’s call Goodwin: we’ll get this sorted out right now before I leave the room.” Jerry couldn’t back out. Goodwin arrived, and they were quickly married, with the bride also receiving £500 from the Protector.
Mr. Jerry White lived with this wife (not of his choice) more than fifty years. Oldmixon says he knew both him and 819Mrs. White, and heard the story told when they were present; at which time Mrs. White acknowledged “there was something in it.”
Mr. Jerry White lived with his wife (whom he didn't choose) for over fifty years. Oldmixon says he knew both him and 819 Mrs. White, and heard the story shared while they were there; at which point Mrs. White admitted “there was something to it.”
THE LAST NIGHT OF THE GIRONDISTS.
Of all the prisons of Paris, the Conciergerie is the most interesting, from its antiquity, associations, and mixed style of architecture,—uniting as it were the horrors of the dungeons of the Middle Ages with the more humane system of confinement of the present century. It exhibits in its mongrel outline the progressive ameliorations of humanity toward criminals and offenders,—forming a connecting link between feudal barbarity and modern civilization. Situated in the heart of old Paris, upon the Ile de la Cité, separated from the Seine by the Quai de l’Horologe, it is one of a cluster of edifices pregnant with souvenirs of tragedy and romance. These buildings are the Sainte Chapelle, the Prefecture de Police, and the Palais de Justice, formerly the residence of the French monarchs. The Conciergerie, which derives its name from concierge, or keeper, was anciently the prison of the palace. It is now chiefly used as a place of detention for persons during their trial. Recent alterations have greatly diminished the gloomy and forbidding effect of its exterior; but sufficient of its old character remains to perpetuate the associations connected with its former uses, and to preserve for it its interest as a relic of feudalism. The names of the two turrets flanking the gateway, Tour de César, and Tour Boubec, smack of antiquity. Compared with Cæsar, however, its age is quite juvenile, being less than nine hundred years.
Of all the prisons in Paris, the Conciergerie is the most fascinating because of its history, associations, and mixed architecture—blending the horrors of medieval dungeons with the more humane confinement methods of today. It showcases the evolving improvements in how society treats criminals and offenders—bridging the gap between feudal brutality and modern civilization. Located in the heart of old Paris on the Île de la Cité, and separated from the Seine by the Quai de l’Horologe, it is part of a group of buildings filled with memories of tragedy and romance. These buildings include the Sainte Chapelle, the Prefecture de Police, and the Palais de Justice, which was once the home of French monarchs. The Concierge, named after front desk or keeper, was historically the prison of the palace. It is now mainly used to hold individuals during their trial. Recent renovations have significantly reduced its dark and intimidating appearance, but enough of its old character remains to keep alive the memories of its past uses, making it an interesting relic of feudal times. The names of the two towers flanking the entrance, César Tour and Tour Boubec, evoke a sense of antiquity. However, compared to Cæsar, its age is relatively young, being less than nine hundred years old.
The oldest legible entry in the archives of the Conciergerie is that of the regicide Ravaillac, who was incarcerated May 16, 1610. Among the memorable names on its register are those of Damiens, who attempted the life of Louis XV.; Eleonore Galigaï, the confidante of Marie de Medicis; La Voisine, the famous female poisoner, who succeeded Madame de Brinvilliers; Cartouche the noted robber, and high above them all in point 820of tragic interest, the innocent and unfortunate queen, Marie Antoinette.
The oldest readable entry in the archives of the Conciergerie is that of the regicide Ravaillac, who was locked up on May 16, 1610. Among the notable names on its register are Damiens, who tried to kill Louis XV; Eleonore Galigaï, the confidante of Marie de Medicis; La Voisine, the famous female poisoner who took over from Madame de Brinvilliers; and Cartouche, the infamous robber, with the most tragic story of all being the innocent and unfortunate queen, Marie Antoinette. 820
The records of this prison furnish extraordinary illustrations of stoicism in the midst of civil calamity, and its walls bear witness to almost inconceivable indifference to the mastery of violence. We know that there is no social upheaval to which human nature, with its versatility of powers for good or evil, may not become accustomed, and if the condition be inevitable, even become reconciled. But the conduct of the prisoners of the Conciergerie, in many instances, tinged as it was with mingled sublimity and folly, surpasses comprehension. During the Reign of Terror they were almost daily decimated by the guillotine; yet their constant amusement was to play at charades and the—guillotine. Both sexes and all ranks assembled in one of the halls. They formed a revolutionary tribunal—choosing accusers and judges, and parodizing the gestures and voice of Fouquier Tinville and his coadjutors. Defenders were named; the accused were taken at hazard. The sentence of death followed close on the heels of the accusation. They simulated the toilet of the condemned, preparing the neck for the knife by feigning to cut the hair and collar. The sentenced were attached to a chair reversed to represent the guillotine. The knife was of wood, and as it fell, the individual, male or female, thus sporting with their approaching fate, tumbled down as if actually struck by the iron blade. Often while engaged in this play, they were interrupted by the terrible voice of the public crier, calling over the “names of the brigands who to-day have gained the lottery of the holy guillotine.”
The records of this prison provide amazing examples of stoicism during civil chaos, and its walls testify to an almost unimaginable indifference to the control of violence. We know that there is no social upheaval that human nature, with its ability to adapt for good or evil, can't get used to, and if the situation is unavoidable, it can even come to terms with it. But the behavior of the prisoners in the Conciergerie, often mixed with both greatness and absurdity, is beyond understanding. During the Reign of Terror, they were almost daily decimated by the guillotine; yet their constant amusement was to play charades and the—guillotine. Both men and women from all walks of life gathered in one of the halls. They created a revolutionary tribunal—choosing accusers and judges, and mimicking the gestures and voice of Fouquier Tinville and his associates. Defenders were named; the accused were chosen at random. The death sentence followed quickly on the heels of the accusation. They pretended to prepare the condemned, getting the neck ready for the knife by feigning to cut the hair and collar. The condemned were strapped to a reversed chair to represent the guillotine. The knife was made of wood, and as it fell, the person, whether male or female, playing with their impending fate, collapsed as if actually struck by the iron blade. Often while engaged in this play, they were interrupted by the dreadful voice of the public crier, calling out the “names of the brigands who to-day have won the lottery of the holy guillotine.”
But among the curious souvenirs of this celebrated jail, the most memorable is that of the last night of the Girondists, that unique festivity which was certainly the grandest triumph of philosophy in the annals of human events. Those fierce, theoretical deputies, who had so recently sent to the scaffold the King and Queen of France, were now in turn on their way thither. Christianity teaches men to live in peaceful humility, and to die 821with hopeful resignation. The last hour of a true believer is calmly joyous. Here was an opportunity for infidelity to assert its superiority in death, as it had claimed for itself the greatest good in life. Let us be just to even these deluded men. They had played a terrible role in the history of their country, and they resigned themselves to die with the same intrepidity with which they had staked their existence upon the success of their policy. They made it a death fête, each smiling as he awaited the dread message, and devoting his latest moments to those displays of intellectual rivalry which had so long united them in life. Mainvielle, Ducos, Gensonné, and Boyer Foufréde abandoned themselves to gayety, wit and revelry, repeating their own verses with friendly rivalry, and stimulating their companions to every species of infidel folly. Viger sang amorous songs; Duprat related a tale; Gensonné repeated the Marseillaise; while Vergniaud alternately electrified them with his eloquence, or discoursed philosophically of their past history, and the unknown future upon which they were about to enter. The discussion on poetry, literature, and general topics, was animated and brilliant; on God, religion, the immortality of the soul, grave, eloquent, calm and poetic. The walls of the prison echoed to a late hour in the morning to their patriotic cries, and were witnesses to their fraternal embraces. The corpse of Valazé, the only one of their number who by a voluntary death eluded the scaffold, remained with them.
But among the interesting keepsakes of this famous prison, the most unforgettable is that of the last night of the Girondists, that unique celebration which was certainly the greatest triumph of philosophy in human history. Those intense, theoretical representatives, who had so recently sent the King and Queen of France to the guillotine, were now on their way there themselves. Christianity teaches people to live in humble peace and to die with hopeful acceptance. The final moments of a true believer are calmly joyful. Here was a chance for disbelief to assert its superiority in death, just as it claimed the greatest good in life. Let's be fair to even these misguided individuals. They had played a terrible role in their country's history, and they accepted their fate with the same courage with which they had risked their lives for the success of their policies. They turned it into a death celebration, each one smiling as they awaited the grim announcement, devoting their last moments to the intellectual rivalry that had long connected them in life. Mainvielle, Ducos, Gensonné, and Boyer Foufréde surrendered to cheerfulness, wit, and festivity, reciting their own verses with friendly competition, and encouraging their friends to engage in every kind of skeptical folly. Viger sang love songs; Duprat told a story; Gensonné repeated the Marseillaise; while Vergniaud alternated between electrifying them with his eloquence and discussing philosophically about their past and the uncertain future they were about to enter. The debates on poetry, literature, and general subjects were lively and brilliant; discussions on God, religion, and the immortality of the soul were serious, eloquent, calm, and poetic. The prison walls echoed late into the morning with their patriotic shouts and bore witness to their brotherly embraces. The body of Valazé, the only one of their group who escaped the guillotine through voluntary death, remained with them.
The whole scene was certainly the wildest and most dramatic ever born of courage and reason. Yet throughout their enthusiasm there appears a chill of uncertainty, and an intellectual coldness that appals the conscience. We feel that for the Girondists it was a consistent sacrifice to their theories and their lives; but for a Christian and patriot, a sad and unedifying spectacle.
The whole scene was definitely the wildest and most dramatic ever created by courage and reason. Yet amid their excitement, there’s a sense of uncertainty and a coldness that disturbs the conscience. We understand that for the Girondists it was a consistent sacrifice to their beliefs and their lives; but for a Christian and patriot, it’s a sad and unedifying sight.
While history cannot refute the tribute of admiration to high qualities, even when misdirected, it is equally bound to record the errors and repeat the warnings of those who claim a place in its pages. The lives of the Girondists, as well as their deaths, 822formed a confused drama of lofty aspirations, generous sentiments and noble sacrifices, mingled with error, passion and folly. Their character presents all the cold brilliancy of fireworks, which excite our admiration only to be chilled with disappointment at their speedy eclipse. Their death-scene was emphatically a spectacle. It exhibited neither the simple grandeur of the death of Socrates, nor the calm and trustful spirit that characterized the dying moments of Washington; the one yielding up his spirit as a heathen philosopher; the other dying as a Christian statesman.
While history can't deny the tribute of admiration for high qualities, even if misdirected, it also has to record the mistakes and repeat the warnings of those who seek a place in its narrative. The lives of the Girondists, along with their deaths, created a chaotic drama filled with lofty aspirations, generous feelings, and noble sacrifices, intertwined with mistakes, passion, and foolishness. Their character reflects the cold brilliance of fireworks, which spark our admiration only to leave us disappointed by their rapid disappearance. Their death scene was notably a spectacle. It lacked the simple grandeur of Socrates' death or the calm and trusting spirit that defined Washington's final moments; one departing as a heathen philosopher, the other passing as a Christian statesman.
QUEEN ELIZABETH AND THE RING.
Concerning the love-token which Queen Elizabeth gave to Essex, with an intimation that if he forfeited her favor, its return would secure her forgiveness, Miss Strickland quotes the testimony of Lady Spelman, who says that when Essex lay under sentence of death, he determined to try the virtue of the ring, by sending it to the queen, and claiming the benefit of her promise; but knowing he was surrounded by the creatures of those who where bent on taking his life, he was fearful of trusting it to any of his attendants. At length, looking out of his window, he saw early one morning a boy whose countenance pleased him, and him he induced by a bribe to carry the ring, which he threw down to him from above, to the Lady Scrope, his cousin, who had taken so friendly interest in his fate. The boy, by mistake, carried it to the Countess of Nottingham, the cruel sister of the fair and gentle Scrope, and, as both these ladies were of the royal bedchamber, the mistake might easily occur. The countess carried the ring to her husband the Lord Admiral, who was the deadly foe of Essex, and told him the message, but he bade her suppress both. The queen, unconscious of the accident, waited in the painful suspense of an angry lover for the expected token to arrive; but not receiving it, she concluded he was too proud to make this last appeal to her tenderness, and, after having once revoked the warrant, she ordered the execution to proceed.
Regarding the love-token that Queen Elizabeth gave to Essex, hinting that if he lost her favor, returning it would earn her forgiveness, Miss Strickland cites Lady Spelman's account. She mentions that when Essex was sentenced to death, he decided to test the power of the ring by sending it to the queen and claiming her promise. However, knowing he was surrounded by those intent on killing him, he was hesitant to trust any of his attendants with it. Eventually, he noticed a boy with a pleasing face outside his window one morning and bribed him to deliver the ring, which he threw down to the boy to take to Lady Scrope, his cousin, who had shown great concern for him. By mistake, the boy delivered it to the Countess of Nottingham, the ruthless sister of the kind Lady Scrope, and since both women were in the royal bedchamber, the mix-up was easy to make. The countess took the ring to her husband, Lord Admiral, Essex's sworn enemy, and told him the message, but he told her to keep quiet about it. Unaware of the mix-up, the queen anxiously awaited the token, feeling like an angry lover. When it didn’t arrive, she assumed he was too proud to make this final appeal to her affection, and after having previously revoked the warrant, she ordered the execution to go ahead.
Multum in Parvo.
Prior, says Leigh Hunt, wrote one truly loving verse, if no other. It is in his Solomon. The monarch is speaking of a female slave, who had a real affection for him—
Prior, according to Leigh Hunt, wrote one genuinely loving verse, if none other. It's in his Solomon. The king is talking about a female slave who truly cared for him—
Coleridge says that Noah’s Ark affords a fine image of the world at large, as containing a very few men, and a great number of beasts.
Coleridge suggests that Noah’s Ark is a great metaphor for the world, featuring very few people and a lot of animals.
The boxes which govern the world are the cartridge-box, the ballot-box, the jury-box, and the band-box.
The boxes that control the world are the cartridge box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the band box.
There are certain things upon which even a wise man must be content to be ignorant. “I cannot fiddle,” said Themistocles, “but I can take a city.”
There are some things that even a wise person has to accept as unknown. “I can’t play the fiddle,” said Themistocles, “but I can capture a city.”
Sir Thomas Overbury said of a man who boasted of his ancestry, that he was like a potato—the best thing belonging to him was under the ground.
Sir Thomas Overbury said of a man who bragged about his ancestry that he was like a potato—the best thing about him was underground.
“Go and see Carlini” (the famous Neapolitan comedian), said a physician to a patient, who came to consult him upon habitual depression of spirits. “I am Carlini,” said the man.
“Go and see Carlini” (the famous Neapolitan comedian), said a doctor to a patient who came to consult him about ongoing feelings of sadness. “I am Carlini,” replied the man.
The words Abstemiously and Facetiously contain all the vowels in consecutive order.
The words Abstemiously and Facetiously contain all the vowels in consecutive order.
When Mr. Pitt’s enemies objected to George III. that he was too young, his Majesty answered: “That is an objection the force of which will be weakened every day he lives.”
When Mr. Pitt's opponents complained to George III that he was too young, His Majesty replied, "That's a concern that will become less significant every day he lives."
824The clock that stands still, points right twice in the four-and-twenty hours; while others may keep going continually, and be continually going wrong.
824The clock that doesn't move shows the right time twice in a day; while others may keep ticking non-stop and still be wrong all the time.
The Mexicans say to their new-born offspring, “Child, thou art come into the world to suffer. Endure, and hold thy peace.”
The Mexicans say to their newborn child, “Kid, you’ve come into the world to suffer. Endure it, and stay quiet.”
Balzac makes mention of a man who never uttered his own name without taking off his hat, as a mark of reverence for the exalted appellation.
Balzac mentions a man who never said his own name without taking off his hat, as a sign of respect for the honored title.
Gibbon says: As long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters.
Gibbon says: As long as people keep giving more praise to their destroyers than to their helpers, the desire for military glory will always be a flaw in the most remarkable individuals.
In the works of Prof. Thomas Cooper it is said,—Mankind pay best, 1. Those who destroy them, heroes and warriors. 2. Those who cheat them, statesmen, priests and quacks. 3. Those who amuse them, as singers, actors, dancers and novel writers. But least of all, those who speak the truth, and instruct them.
In the works of Prof. Thomas Cooper, it is said: Mankind pays the most to 1. Those who harm them, like heroes and warriors. 2. Those who deceive them, such as politicians, religious leaders, and charlatans. 3. Those who entertain them, like singers, actors, dancers, and novelists. But the least is paid to those who tell the truth and teach them.
Wax-lights, though we are accustomed to overlook the fact, and rank them with ordinary commonplaces, are true fairy tapers,—a white metamorphosis from the flowers, crowned with the most intangible of all visible mysteries—fire.
Wax lights, even though we tend to overlook them and consider them ordinary, are actually like magical candles—a white transformation from flowers, topped with the most elusive of all visible mysteries—fire.
An illustration of false emphasis is supplied by the verse, (I. Kings xiii. 27,) “And he spoke to his sons, saying, Saddle me the ass. And they saddled him.”
An example of false emphasis is provided by the verse, (I. Kings xiii. 27,) “And he spoke to his sons, saying, Saddle me the donkey. And they saddled him.”
Shakspeare, in the compass of a line, has described a thoroughly charming girl:—
Shakespeare, in the span of a line, has described a completely charming girl:—
825The foundation of domestic happiness is confidence in the virtue of woman; the foundation of political happiness is reliance on the integrity of man; the foundation of all real happiness, temporal and spiritual, present and eternal, is faith in the mercy of God through Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.
825The foundation of a happy home is trust in the goodness of women; the foundation of political well-being is faith in the honesty of men; the basis of all true happiness—whether in this life or the next—is belief in God's mercy through Jesus Christ, especially His sacrifice on the cross.
Buckingham’s Epitaph on Thomas Lord Fairfax:—
Buckingham’s Epitaph on Thomas Lord Fairfax:—
A favorite exclamation of the Parisian mob, who must always have a “vive” something or other, became during the Revolution, “vive la mort!”
A popular shout among the Parisian crowd, who always needed a “live” for anything, turned into “long live death!” during the Revolution.
Alphonso, King of Aragon, in his judgment of human life, declared that there were only four things in this world worth living for: “Old wine to drink, old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to converse with.”
Alphonso, King of Aragon, in his view on human life, stated that there are only four things in this world worth living for: “Old wine to drink, old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to chat with.”
David refers to a good old form of salutation and valediction in Psalm cxxix. 8:—
David mentions a classic way of greeting and saying goodbye in Psalm 129:8:—
“The blessing of the Lord be upon you; we bless you in the name of the Lord.”
“May the Lord's blessing be upon you; we bless you in the name of the Lord.”
An eastern sage being desired to inscribe on the ring of his Sultan a motto, equally applicable to prosperity or adversity, returned it with these words engraved upon the surface: “And this, too, shall pass away.”
An eastern sage was asked to write a motto on the ring of his Sultan, something that could apply to both good times and bad. He returned it with these words engraved on the surface: “And this, too, shall pass away.”
Oliver Cromwell’s grace before dinner:—
Oliver Cromwell’s dinner prayer:—
Life and Death.
All death in nature is birth, and in death appears visibly the advancement of life. There is no killing principle in nature, for nature throughout is life: it is not death that kills, but the higher life, which, concealed behind the other, begins to develop itself. Death and birth are but the struggle of life with itself to attain a higher form.—Fichte.
All death in nature is a form of birth, and in death, the progress of life becomes visible. There is no destructive force in nature; nature is constantly alive. It’s not death that causes the end, but rather a higher form of life that, hidden behind the other, starts to emerge. Death and birth are simply the ways life struggles with itself to reach a higher state.—Fichte.
BEAUTIFUL ILLUSTRATIONS OF LIFE.
What a fine passage is that of Bishop Heber, which is said to have suggested to Cole his justly-famed series of paintings, entitled The Voyage of Life!
What a great passage that is from Bishop Heber, which is said to have inspired Cole to create his renowned series of paintings called The Voyage of Life!
Life bears us on like the stream of a mighty river. Our boat at first glides swiftly down the narrow channel, through the playful murmurings of the little brook and the windings of its grassy borders: the trees shed their blossoms over our young heads, and the flowers on the brink seem to offer themselves to our young hands; we rejoice in hope, and grasp eagerly at the beauties around us; but the stream hurries us on, and still our hands are empty.
Life carries us along like the current of a powerful river. Our boat initially moves quickly down the tight channel, through the cheerful sounds of the little stream and the twists of its grassy banks: the trees drop their blossoms over our heads, and the flowers at the edge seem to reach out to our hands; we feel hopeful and eagerly reach for the beauty around us; but the current rushes us forward, and our hands remain empty.
Our course in youth and manhood is along a wider and deeper flood, and amid objects more striking and magnificent. We are animated by the moving picture of enjoyment and industry that is passing before us; we are excited by some short-lived success, or depressed and rendered miserable by some short-lived disappointment. But our energy and dependence are alike in vain. The stream bears us on, and our joys and griefs are left behind us: we may be shipwrecked, but we cannot 827anchor; our voyage may be hastened, but cannot be delayed; whether rough or smooth, the river hastens toward its home; the roaring of the waves is beneath our keel, the land lessens from our eyes, the floods are lifted up around us, and we take our last leave of earth and its inhabitants, and of our future voyage there is no witness save the Infinite and the Eternal!
Our journey through youth and adulthood is along a broader and deeper path, surrounded by more striking and magnificent sights. We're driven by the unfolding scenes of enjoyment and hard work before us; some fleeting success excites us, while some brief disappointment brings us down. But our energy and reliance are ultimately pointless. The current carries us forward, and our joys and sorrows are left behind: we may face shipwreck, but we can’t stop; our journey may speed up, but it cannot be slowed down; whether the ride is rough or smooth, the river moves swiftly toward its destination; the crashing waves are below us, the land fades from view, the waters rise around us, and we bid our final farewell to the earth and its people, with no witness to our future journey except the Infinite and the Eternal!
THE ROUND OF LIFE.
From the Aphorisms of Dr. Horne, Bishop of Norwich:—
From the Aphorisms of Dr. Horne, Bishop of Norwich:—
RULES OF LIVING.
Whosoever would live long and blessedly, let him observe these following rules, by which he shall attain to that which he desireth:—
Whoever wants to live a long and blessed life should follow these rules, which will help them achieve what they desire:—
Let thy | ||
Thoughts | be | divine, awful, godly. |
Talk | little, honest, true. | |
Works | profitable, holy, charitable. | |
Manners | grave, courteous, cheerful. | |
Diet | temperate, convenient, frugal. | |
Apparel | sober, neat, comely. | |
Will | confident, obedient, ready. | |
Sleep | moderate, quiet, seasonable. | |
Prayers | short, devout, often, fervent. | |
Recreation | lawful, brief, seldom. | |
Memory | of death, punishment, glory. |
DR. FRANKLIN’S MORAL CODE.
The great American philosopher and statesman, Benjamin Franklin, drew up the following list of moral virtues, to which he paid constant and earnest attention, and thereby made himself a better and happier man:—
The great American philosopher and statesman, Benjamin Franklin, created the following list of moral virtues, which he focused on consistently and sincerely, thus becoming a better and happier person:—
Temperance.—Eat not to fulness; drink not to elevation.
Moderation.—Don’t eat until you’re stuffed; don’t drink to excess.
Silence.—Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Silence.—Only speak if it can help others or yourself; steer clear of pointless chatter.
Order.—Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Order.—Make sure everything has its place; allocate specific times for each part of your work.
829Resolution.—Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
829Resolution.—Make a commitment to do what you should; carry out what you promised without exception.
Frugality.—Make no expense, but do good to others as yourself; that is, waste nothing.
Frugality.—Don't spend unnecessarily, but treat others as you would want to be treated; in other words, waste nothing.
Industry.—Lose no time, be always employed in something useful; but avoid all unnecessary actions.
Industry.—Don't waste time; always be busy with something useful, but avoid doing anything unnecessary.
Sincerity.—Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Sincerity.—Don't use harmful lies; think honestly and fairly; and if you talk, do so in that way.
Justice.—Wrong no one by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Justice.—Don't wrong anyone by causing harm or by failing to provide the help that you owe.
Moderation.—Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries.
Moderation.—Avoid extremes; don't hold grudges.
Cleanliness.—Suffer no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
Cleanliness.—Do not allow any dirtiness in your body, clothes, or living space.
Tranquillity.—Be not disturbed about trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Calmness.—Don’t let small things or common accidents upset you.
Humility.—Imitate Jesus Christ.
Humility.—Follow Jesus Christ.
EMPLOYMENT OF TIME.
The celebrated Lord Coke wrote the subjoined couplet, which he religiously observed in the distribution of time:—
The famous Lord Coke wrote the following couplet, which he strictly followed in managing his time:—
But Sir William Jones, a wiser economist of the fleeting hours of life, amended the sentence in the following lines:—
But Sir William Jones, a smarter economist of the brief moments in life, revised the statement in the following lines:—
LIVING LIFE OVER AGAIN.
Good Sir Thomas Browne says, Though I think no man can live well once but he that could live twice, yet for my own part I would not live over my hours past, nor begin again the thread of my days; not upon Cicero’s ground,—because I have lived them well,—but for fear I should live them worse. I find my growing judgment daily instruct me how to be better, but my untamed affections and confirmed vitiosity make me daily do worse. I find in my confirmed age the same sins I discovered in my youth; I committed many then, because I was a child, 830and because I commit them still, I am yet an infant. Therefore I perceive a man may be twice a child before the days of dotage, and stand in need of Æson’s bath before threescore.
Good Sir Thomas Browne says, Though I believe no one can truly live well unless they could live again, for my part, I wouldn’t relive my past days or restart my life; not because I’ve lived them well, but because I’m afraid I might live them worse. I notice my increasing wisdom teaches me how to improve, but my uncontrolled emotions and persistent flaws lead me to make worse choices every day. As I grow older, I see the same sins I had in my youth; I did many of them back then because I was young, and since I still do them, I’m still just a child. So, I realize a person can be a child twice before reaching old age and still need a rejuvenating experience before the age of sixty.
RHYMING DEFINITIONS.
EARTH.
RHYMING CHARTER.
The following grant of William the Conqueror may be found in Stowe’s Chronicle and in Blount’s Ancient Tenures:—
The following grant from William the Conqueror can be found in Stowe’s Chronicle and in Blount’s Ancient Tenures:—
HOPTON, IN THE COUNTY OF SALOP.
NICE QUESTIONS FOR LAWYERS.
A gentleman, who died in Paris, left a legacy of $6000 to his niece in Dubuque, Iowa, who it appears also died about the same hour of the same day. The question which died first turns upon the relation of solar to true time, and must be decided by the difference of longitude. If the niece died at four o’clock A.M., and her uncle at ten o’clock A.M., the instants of their death would have been identical. Assuming that to be the hour of the testator’s death, if the niece died at any hour between four and ten, although the legacy would apparently revert to his estate, it would really vest in her and her heirs, since by solar time she would have actually survived her uncle.
A gentleman who died in Paris left a legacy of $6,000 to his niece in Dubuque, Iowa, who, it turns out, also died around the same time on the same day. The question of who died first depends on the relationship between solar and true time, and it needs to be determined by the difference in longitude. If the niece passed away at 4:00 AM, and her uncle at 10:00 AM, their times of death would be the same. Assuming that was the time of the testator's death, if the niece died any time between 4 and 10, although the legacy would appear to revert to his estate, it would actually belong to her and her heirs since, according to solar time, she would have outlived her uncle.
Another case where great importance depended upon the precise time of death was that of the late Earl Fitzhardinge, who died “about midnight,” between October 10th and 11th. His 832rents, amounting to £40,000 a year, were payable on Old Lady-day and Old Michaelmas-day. The latter fell this year (1857) on Sunday, October 11, and the day began at midnight: so that if he died before twelve, the rents belonged to the parties taking the estate; but if after, they belonged to and formed part of his personal estate. The difference of one minute might therefore involve the question as to the title of £20,000.
Another case where great importance depended on the exact time of death was that of the late Earl Fitzhardinge, who died “around midnight” between October 10th and 11th. His 832rents, totaling £40,000 a year, were due on Old Lady's Day and Old Michaelmas Day. This year (1857), the latter fell on Sunday, October 11, and the day began at midnight: so if he died before twelve, the rents would go to the parties inheriting the estate; but if it was after, they would be part of his personal estate. A difference of just one minute could determine the title to £20,000.
THE BONE NOT DESCRIBED BY MODERN ANATOMISTS.
The Emperor Adrian—the skeptic whose epigrammatic address to his soul in prospect of death,
The Emperor Adrian—the skeptic who had a witty message to his soul when facing death,
is well known—asked Rabbi Joshua Ben Hananiah, in the course of an interview following the successful siege of Bitter, “How doth a man revive again in the world to come?” He answered and said, “From Luz, in the back-bone.” Saith he to him, “Demonstrate this to me.” Then he took Luz, a little bone out of the back-bone, and put it in water, and it was not steeped; he put it into the fire, and it was not burned; he brought it to the mill, and that could not grind it; he laid it on the anvil and knocked it with a hammer, but the anvil was cleft, and the hammer broken.
is well known—asked Rabbi Joshua Ben Hananiah, during an interview after the successful siege of Bitter, “How does a person come back to life in the world to come?” He answered, “From Luz, a bone in the backbone.” He said to him, “Show me this.” Then he took Luz, a small bone from the backbone, and put it in water, and it didn’t soak; he put it in the fire, and it wasn’t burned; he brought it to the mill, and it couldn’t be ground; he laid it on the anvil and hit it with a hammer, but the anvil cracked, and the hammer broke.
The name Luz is probably derived from Genesis xlviii. 3, where, however, it refers to a place, not to a bone. The bone alluded to is the sacrum, the terminal wedge of the vertebral column. Butler, in his Hudibras, erroneously traces to the 833Rabbinic belief the modern name os sacrum, its origin really being due to the custom of placing it upon the altar in ancient sacrifices.
The name Luz likely comes from Genesis 48:3, where it refers to a place, not a bone. The bone mentioned is the sacrum, the final wedge of the vertebral column. Butler, in his Hudibras, mistakenly attributes the modern name sacrum bone to Rabbinic belief, when its real origin is from the practice of placing it on the altar during ancient sacrifices.
DYING WORDS OF DISTINGUISHED PERSONS.
Napoleon.—Tête d’Armée!
Napoleon.—Army Head!
Sir Walter Raleigh.—It matters little how the head lieth.
Sir Walter Raleigh.—It doesn’t really matter how the head is positioned.
Goethe.—Let the light enter.
Goethe.—Let the light in.
Tasso.—Into thy hands, O Lord.
Tasso.—In Your hands, Lord.
Alfieri.—Clasp my hand, my dear friend: I die.
Alfieri.—Hold my hand, my dear friend: I'm dying.
Martin Luther.—Father in Heaven, though this body is breaking away from me, and I am departing this life, yet I know that I shall forever be with thee, for no one can pluck me out of thy hand.
Martin Luther.—Father in Heaven, even though this body is falling apart and I'm leaving this life, I know I will always be with you, because no one can take me out of your grasp.
834Mozart.—You spoke of refreshment, my Emilie: take my last notes, sit down at the piano, sing them with the hymn of your sainted mother; let me hear once more those notes which have so long been my solace and delight.
834Mozart.—You mentioned wanting a break, my Emilie: take my latest notes, sit down at the piano, and sing them with the hymn of your beloved mother; let me hear those notes again that have brought me so much comfort and joy for so long.
Haydn.—God preserve the Emperor!
Haydn.—God save the Emperor!
Haller.—The artery ceases to beat.
Haller.—The artery stops beating.
Grotius.—Be serious.
Grotius.—Get real.
Erasmus.—Lord, make an end.
Erasmus.—Lord, end this.
Cardinal Beaufort.—What! is there no bribing death?
Cardinal Beaufort.—What! Can't we bribe death?
Hilary, Bishop of Poictiers.—Soul, thou hast served Christ these seventy years, and art thou afraid to die? Go out, soul, go out.
Hilary, Bishop of Poictiers.—Soul, you've served Christ for seventy years, and are you afraid to die? Step out, soul, step out.
Queen Elizabeth.—All my possessions for a moment of time!
Queen Elizabeth.—I’d give up everything I have for just a moment of time!
Charles II.—Let not poor Nelly starve.
Charles II.—Don't let poor Nelly go hungry.
Anne Boleyn.—It is small, very small indeed (clasping her neck).
Anne Boleyn.—It’s tiny, really tiny (holding her neck).
Sir Thomas More.—I pray you see me safe up; and as for my coming down, let me shift for myself (ascending the scaffold).
Sir Thomas More.—I ask you to make sure I get up safely; as for coming down, I’ll manage on my own (going up the scaffold).
John Hampden.—O Lord, save my country! O Lord, be merciful to——
John Hampden.—Oh Lord, save my country! Oh Lord, be merciful to——
Chancellor Thurlow.—I’m shot if I don’t believe I’m dying.
Chancellor Thurlow.—I swear I think I’m dying.
Addison.—See with what peace a Christian can die.
Addison.—Look at how peacefully a Christian can die.
Julius Cæsar.—Et tu, Brute.
Julius Caesar.—Et tu, Brute.
Nero.—Is this your fidelity?
Nero.—Is this your loyalty?
Herder.—Refresh me with a great thought.
Herder.—Inspire me with a brilliant idea.
Frederick V., of Denmark.—There is not a drop of blood on my hands.
Frederick V., of Denmark.—I don’t have a drop of blood on my hands.
Mirabeau.—Let me die amid the sound of delicious music and the fragrance of flowers.
Mirabeau.—Let me die surrounded by beautiful music and the scent of flowers.
Madame de Staël.—I have loved God, my father, and liberty.
Madame de Staël.—I have loved God, my father, and freedom.
Lord Nelson.—Kiss me, Hardy.
Lord Nelson.—Kiss me, Hardy.
Lord Chesterfield.—Give Dayrolles a chair.
Lord Chesterfield.—Get Dayrolles a chair.
Hobbes.—I am taking a fearful leap in the dark.
Hobbes.—I am taking a scary leap into the unknown.
Byron.—I must sleep now.
Byron.—I need to sleep now.
Sir Walter Scott.—I feel as if I were to be myself again.
Sir Walter Scott.—I feel like I’m going to be myself again.
835Keats.—I feel the daisies growing over me.
835Keats.—I feel the daisies growing above me.
Robert Burns.—Don’t let that awkward squad fire over my grave.
Robert Burns.—Don’t let that awkward group shoot over my grave.
Lawrence.—Don’t give up the ship.
Lawrence.—Don’t abandon the ship.
Washington.—It is well.
Washington.—All good.
Franklin.—A dying man can do nothing easy.
Franklin.—A dying person can't do anything easily.
Wolfe.—Now, God be praised, I will die in peace.
Wolfe.—Thank God, I can die in peace now.
Marion.—Thank God, I can lay my hand upon my heart and say that since I came to man’s estate I have never intentionally done wrong to any one.
Marion.—Thank God, I can place my hand on my heart and say that since I became an adult, I have never intentionally harmed anyone.
Adams.—Independence forever!
Adams.—Freedom forever!
Jefferson.—I resign my soul to God, and my daughter to my country.
Jefferson.—I give my soul to God, and my daughter to my country.
J. Q. Adams.—This is the last of earth. I am content.
J. Q. Adams.—This is the end of my time. I am at peace.
Harrison.—I wish you to understand the true principles of the Government. I wish them carried out. I ask nothing more.
Harrison.—I want you to understand the real principles of the Government. I want them to be implemented. I’m not asking for anything more.
Taylor.—I have endeavored to do my duty.
Taylor.—I’ve tried to do what’s right.
Daniel Webster.—I still live.
Daniel Webster. — I’m still here.
THE LAST PRAYER OF MARY, QUEEN OF SCOTS.
O Lord God, | (O my Lord and my God, |
I hoped in you,— | I have trusted in thee; |
O! dear my Jesus, | O Jesus, my love, |
Now set me free. | Now liberate me. |
In a tough situation, | In my enemies’ power, |
In misery, pain, | In affliction’s sad hour, |
I desire you. | I languish for thee. |
Lamenting, groaning, | In sorrowing, weeping, |
And kneeling, | And bending the knee, |
Love, I plead, | I adore and implore thee |
Help me! | To liberate me!) |
REMARKABLE TRANCE.
At the siege of Rouen, the body of François de Civille, a French captain who was supposed to have been killed, was thrown with others into the ditch, where it remained from 836eleven o’clock in the morning to half-past six in the evening, when his servant, observing some latent heat, carried the body into the house. During the ensuing five days and nights not the slightest sign of life was exhibited, although the body gradually recovered its warmth. At the expiration of this time the town was carried by assault, and the servants of an officer belonging to the besiegers, having found the supposed corpse of Civille, threw it out of a window, with no other covering than his shirt. Fortunately for the captain, he fell upon a heap of straw, where he remained senseless three days longer, when he was taken up by his relations for sepulture and ultimately brought to life. What was still more strange, Civille, like Macduff, had been “from his mother’s womb untimely ripped,” having been brought into the world by a Cæsarian operation which his mother did not survive. After his last escape he used to add to his signature, “three times born, three times buried, and three times risen from the dead by the grace of God.”
At the siege of Rouen, the body of François de Civille, a French captain who was believed to be dead, was thrown, along with others, into a ditch, where it stayed from 836 eleven in the morning until half-past six in the evening, when his servant noticed some residual warmth and took the body inside. For the next five days and nights, there was not the slightest sign of life, although the body gradually regained some warmth. After this time, the town was stormed, and the servants of an officer from the attacking side found what they thought was Civille's corpse and tossed it out of a window, with nothing covering him but his shirt. Luckily for the captain, he landed on a pile of straw, where he remained unconscious for three more days before being picked up by his family for burial and eventually came back to life. Even more strangely, like Macduff, Civille had been "untimely ripped" from his mother's womb, having been born through a Cæsarean section that his mother did not survive. After his miraculous survival, he would add to his signature, “three times born, three times buried, and three times risen from the dead by the grace of God.”
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION.
Whether,—as in the case of the Abbé Prevost in the forest of Chantilly,—if a supposed cadaver, while subjected to the investigating knife of the anatomist, should awake from a trance only to be conscious of his horrible condition and to expire from the immediate effect of the dissection, it is any thing more than homicide per infortuniam, or not.
Whether it’s like in the case of Abbé Prevost in the forest of Chantilly, where a supposed body, while being examined by the anatomist, suddenly wakes from a trance only to realize his terrible state and dies from the immediate effects of the dissection, is it anything more than homicide unfortunately, or not?
Whether, in the case of Lazarus, who was restored to life by the Saviour after decomposition had commenced, he could have reclaimed property already in the possession and occupancy of the heirs to whom he had willed it before death.
Whether, in Lazarus's case, who was brought back to life by the Savior after he had begun to decompose, he could have claimed property that was already owned and occupied by the heirs he had left it to before he died.
PRESERVED BODIES.
There is an arched vault, or burying-ground, under the church at Kilsyth, in Scotland, which was the burying-place of the family of Kilsyth until the estate was forfeited and the title became extinct in the year 1715, since which it has 837never been used for that purpose except once. The last earl fled with his family to Flanders, and, according to tradition, was smothered to death about the year 1717, along with his lady and an infant child, and a number of other unfortunate Scottish exiles, by the falling in of the roof of a house in which they were assembled. What became of the body of the earl is not known; but the bodies of Lady Kilsyth and her infant were disembowelled and embalmed, and soon afterwards sent over to Scotland. They were landed, and lay at Leith for some time, whence they were afterwards carried to Kilsyth, and buried with great pomp, in the vault above mentioned.
There is an arched vault, or burial ground, beneath the church at Kilsyth, Scotland, which served as the burial place for the Kilsyth family until the estate was lost and the title became extinct in 1715. Since then, it has only been used for that purpose once. The last earl fled to Flanders with his family, and according to tradition, he died tragically around 1717, along with his wife and an infant child, as well as several other unfortunate Scottish exiles, when the roof of their building collapsed. What happened to the earl's body remains unknown; however, Lady Kilsyth and her infant were disinterred, embalmed, and soon sent back to Scotland. They arrived and were kept at Leith for a while before being taken to Kilsyth, where they were buried with great ceremony in the aforementioned vault.
In the spring of 1796, some reckless young men, having paid a visit to this ancient cemetery, tore open the coffin of Lady Kilsyth and her infant. With astonishment and consternation they saw the bodies of Lady Kilsyth and her child as perfect as they had been the hour they were entombed. For some weeks this circumstance was kept secret; but at last it began to be whispered in several companies, and soon excited great and general curiosity. “On the 12th of June,” wrote the minister of the parish of Kilsyth, in a letter to Dr. Garnet, “when I was from home, great crowds assembled, and would not be denied admission. At all hours of the night, as well as the day, they afterwards persisted in gratifying their curiosity. I saw the body of Lady Kilsyth soon after the coffin was opened. It was quite entire. Every feature and every limb was as full, nay, the very shroud was as clear and fresh and the colors of the ribands as bright, as the day they were lodged in the tomb. What rendered this scene more striking and truly interesting was that the body of her son and only child, the natural heir of the title and estates of Kilsyth, lay at her knee. His features were as composed as if he had been only asleep. His color was as fresh, and his flesh as plump and full, as in the perfect glow of health; the smile of infancy and innocence sat on his lips. His shroud was not only entire, but perfectly clean, without a particle of dust upon it. He seems to have been only a few months old. The body of Lady Kilsyth was equally well preserved; 838and at a little distance, from the feeble light of a taper, it would not have been easy to distinguish whether she was dead or alive. The features, nay, the very expression of her countenance, were marked and distinct; and it was only in a certain light that you could distinguish any thing like the agonizing traits of a violent death. Not a single fold of her shroud was decayed, nor a single member impaired. Neither of the bodies appear to have undergone the slightest decomposition or disorganization. Several medical gentlemen made incisions into the arm of the infant, and found the substance of the body quite firm, and in its original state.”
In the spring of 1796, a group of reckless young men visited this old cemetery and opened the coffin of Lady Kilsyth and her baby. To their shock and horror, they found the bodies of Lady Kilsyth and her child perfectly preserved, just as they had been the hour they were buried. For several weeks, this was kept a secret, but eventually, it started to be whispered about in various circles, quickly sparking widespread curiosity. “On June 12th,” wrote the minister of the parish of Kilsyth in a letter to Dr. Garnet, “while I was away, large crowds gathered and insisted on being let in. Day and night, they kept coming to satisfy their curiosity. I saw Lady Kilsyth's body shortly after the coffin was opened. It was completely intact. Every feature and limb was full, and even the shroud was just as fresh and clear, with the colors of the ribbons bright as the day they were placed in the tomb. What made this scene even more striking was that the body of her son and only child, the rightful heir to the title and estates of Kilsyth, rested at her knees. His features looked as peaceful as if he were just asleep. His complexion was fresh, and his body was plump and full, radiating good health; a smile of innocence lingered on his lips. His shroud was not only intact but also perfectly clean, without a speck of dust on it. He appeared to be only a few months old. Lady Kilsyth's body was equally well-preserved; from a distance, in the dim light of a candle, it would have been hard to tell whether she was dead or alive. Her features, and even the expression on her face, were clear and distinct; it was only in certain lighting that you could see any signs of the tragic end. Not a single fold of her shroud was decayed, nor was any part of her body damaged. Neither of the bodies seemed to have undergone any decomposition or disintegration at all. Several doctors made incisions into the infant's arm and found the tissue firm and in its original condition.”
The writer states, among other interesting points that attracted his attention, that the bodies appeared to have been saturated in some aromatic liquid, of the color of dark brandy, with which the coffin had been filled, but which had nearly all evaporated.
The writer mentions, along with other intriguing points that caught his attention, that the bodies seemed to have been soaked in some fragrant liquid, the color of dark brandy, with which the coffin had been filled, but that had mostly evaporated.
Other instances of the artificial preservation of bodies might be mentioned, still more remarkable, though perhaps less interesting, than the preceding. The tomb of Edward the First, who died on the 7th of July, 1307, was opened on the 2d of January, 1770, and after the lapse of four hundred and sixty-three years the body was found undecayed: the flesh on the face was a little wasted, but not decomposed. The body of Canute the Dane, who obtained possession of England in the year 1017, was found quite fresh in the year 1766, by the workmen repairing Winchester Cathedral. In the year 1522, the body of William the Conqueror was found as entire as when first buried, in the Abbey Church of St. Stephen at Caen; and the body of Matilda his queen was found entire in 1502, in the Abbey Church of the Holy Trinity in the same city.
Other examples of artificially preserved bodies could be noted, even more remarkable, though perhaps less engaging, than the ones mentioned earlier. The tomb of Edward the First, who died on July 7, 1307, was opened on January 2, 1770, and after four hundred and sixty-three years, the body was found to be undecayed: the flesh on the face had deteriorated a bit, but it hadn’t decomposed. The body of Canute the Dane, who gained control of England in 1017, was discovered to be quite fresh in 1766 by workers repairing Winchester Cathedral. In 1522, the body of William the Conqueror was found to be just as intact as when he was first buried, in the Abbey Church of St. Stephen at Caen; and the body of his queen Matilda was found whole in 1502 in the Abbey Church of the Holy Trinity in the same city.
No device of art, however, for the preservation of the remains of the dead, appears equal to the simple process of plunging them into peat-moss.
No method of art, however, for preserving the bodies of the dead, seems to match the straightforward act of burying them in peat-moss.
In a manuscript by one Abraham Grey, who lived about the middle of the sixteenth century, now in the possession of his representative Mr. Goodbehere Grey, of Old Mills, near Aberdeen, 839it is stated that, in 1569, three Roman soldiers, in the dress of their country, fully equipped with warlike instruments, were dug out of a moss of great extent, called Kazey Moss. When found, after the lapse of probably about fifteen hundred years, they were still fresh and plump!
In a manuscript by Abraham Grey, who lived around the middle of the 1500s and is now represented by Mr. Goodbehere Grey of Old Mills, near Aberdeen, 839 it is stated that in 1569, three Roman soldiers, dressed in their traditional attire and fully equipped with weapons, were dug out of a large bog called Kazey Moss. When discovered, after about fifteen hundred years, they were still in remarkably good condition!
Modern chemistry teaches us that in these cases there is a conversion of the tissues of the body into adipocere, a substance closely resembling spermaceti, and composed, according to Chevreul, of margaric and oleic acids, with a slight addition of the alkalies. It is generally formed from bodies buried in moist earth, and especially when they have accumulated in great numbers. On the removal of the Cimetière des Innocens in Paris, in 1787, where thousands of bodies had been buried annually for several centuries, it was found that those bodies which had been placed in great numbers in the trenches were, without having lost their shapes, converted into this substance.
Modern chemistry tells us that in these cases, the body tissues turn into adipocere, a substance that closely resembles spermaceti, and is made up, according to Chevreul, of margaric and oleic acids, with a small addition of alkalis. This substance usually forms from bodies buried in damp ground, especially when they are piled up in large quantities. When the Innocents' Cemetery in Paris was cleared in 1787, where thousands of bodies had been buried yearly for centuries, it was discovered that those bodies that had been placed in large amounts in the trenches remained shaped and had transformed into this substance.
FOLLY OF EMBALMING CORPSES.
Professor Johnston, in alluding to the custom of converting the human body into a frightful-looking mummy, or of attempting by various artificial processes to arrest its natural course of decomposition into kindred elements, remarks, as beautifully as truly:—
Professor Johnston, talking about the tradition of turning the human body into a scary-looking mummy, or trying through different artificial methods to stop its natural breakdown into similar elements, notes, as beautifully as accurately:—
Embalm the loved bodies, and swathe them, as the old Egyptians did, in resinous cerements, and you but preserve them a little longer, that some wretched, plundering Arab may desecrate and scatter to the winds the residual dust. Or jealously, in regal tombs and pyramids, preserve the forms of venerated emperors or beauteous queens, still, some future conqueror, or more humble Belzoni, will rifle the most secure resting-place. Or bury them in most sacred places, beneath high altars, a new reign shall dig them up and mingle them again 840with the common earth. Or, more careful still, conceal your last resting-place where local history keeps no record and even tradition cannot betray you: then accident shall stumble at length upon your unknown tomb and liberate your still remaining ashes.
Embalm the loved ones and wrap them, just like the ancient Egyptians did, in resinous cloth, and you'll only keep them around a bit longer until some greedy, raiding Arab comes along to disrespect and scatter what's left. Or you might protect the forms of honored emperors or beautiful queens in grand tombs and pyramids, but eventually, a future conqueror or a less notable treasure hunter will break into the most secure resting place. You could bury them in sacred spots beneath high altars, but a new regime will unearth them and blend them back with the common earth. Or, if you want to be even more cautious, hide your final resting place where local history doesn't record anything, and even tradition won’t reveal your secret: then, by chance, someone will eventually discover your unknown tomb and release your remaining ashes.
How touching to behold the vain result of even the most successful attempts at preserving apart, and in their relative places, the solid materials of the individual form! The tomb, after a lapse of time, is found and opened. The ghastly tenant reclines, it may be, in full form and stature. The very features are preserved,—impressed, and impressing the spectator, with the calm dignity of their long repose. But some curious hand touches the seemingly solid form, or a breath of air disturbs the sleeping air around the full-proportioned body,—when, lo! it crumbles instantly away into an almost insensible quantity of impalpable dust!
How moving it is to see the futile outcome of even the best efforts to keep the solid parts of a body intact and in their proper places! When a tomb is eventually discovered and opened, the eerie occupant may be found in their complete form and size. The very features remain, impressing the onlooker with the serene dignity of their long rest. But then, a curious hand touches the seemingly solid figure, or a gust of air stirs the stillness around the perfectly formed body, and suddenly—poof!—it disintegrates into an almost imperceptible amount of fine dust!
Who has not read with mingled wonder and awe of the opening, in our own day, of the almost magical sepulchre of an ancient Etruscan king? The antiquarian dilettanti, in their under-ground researches, unexpectedly stumbled upon the unknown vault. Undisturbed through Roman and barbaric times, accident revealed it to modern eyes. A small aperture, made by chance in the outer wall, showed to the astonished gazers a crowned king within, sitting on his chair of state, with robes and sceptre all entire, and golden ornaments of ancient device bestowed here and there around his person. Eager to secure the precious spoil, a way is forced with hammer and mattock into the mysterious chamber. But the long spell is now broken; the magical image is now gone. Slowly, as the vault first shook beneath the blows, the whole pageant crumbled away. A light, smoky dust filled the air; and, where the image so lately sat, only the tinselled fragments of thin gold remained, to show that the vision and the ornaments had been real, though the entire substance of the once noble form had utterly vanished.
Who hasn't read with a mix of wonder and amazement about the recent discovery of the almost magical tomb of an ancient Etruscan king? The antiquarian amateurs, in their underground explorations, unexpectedly found the hidden vault. Unbothered through Roman and barbaric eras, a chance event revealed it to the modern world. A small opening, made accidentally in the outer wall, showed the astonished onlookers a crowned king inside, seated on his throne, fully adorned in robes and holding a scepter, with golden decorations of ancient design scattered around him. Eager to claim the valuable treasures, they forced a way in with hammers and tools into the mysterious chamber. But the long enchantment was now broken; the magical image was gone. Slowly, as the vault first trembled from the blows, the entire spectacle crumbled away. A light, smoky dust filled the air; and where the figure had recently sat, only the glittering fragments of thin gold remained, proving that the vision and the decorations had been real, even though the complete essence of the once noble form had completely vanished.
For a few thousand years some apparently fortunate kings 841and princes may arrest the natural circulation of a handful of dust. But in what are they better than Cromwell, whose remains were pitilessly disturbed,—than Wyckliffe, whose ashes were sprinkled on the sea,—than St. Genevieve, whose remains were burned in the Place de Grève and her ashes scattered to the wind,—than Mausolus, whose dust was swallowed by his wife Artemisia,—than the King of Edom, whose bones were burned for lime,—or than St. Pepin and all the royal line of Bourbon, whose tombs were emptied by a Parisian mob? Lamartine tells us, in his History of the Girondists, that a decree of the Convention had commanded the destruction of the tombs of the kings at St. Denis. The Commune changed this decree into an attack against the dead. * * * * The axe broke the gates of bronze presented by Charlemagne to the Basilica of St. Denis. * * * They raised the stones, ransacked the vaults, violated the resting-places of the departed, sought out, beneath the swathings and shrouds, embalmed corpses, crumbled flesh, calcined bones, empty skulls of kings, queens, princes, ministers, bishops. Pepin, the founder of the Carlovingian dynasty and father of Charlemagne, was now but a pinch of gray ash, which was in a moment scattered by the wind. The mutilated heads of Turenne, Duguesclin, Louis XII., Francis I., were rolled on the pavement. * * * * Beneath the choir were buried the princes and princesses of the first race, and some of the third,—Hugh Capet, Philip the Bold, Philip the Handsome. They rent away their rags of silk and threw them on a bed of quicklime. * * * * They threw the carcass of Henry IV. into the common fosse. His son and grandson, Louis XIII. and XIV., followed. Louis XIII. was but a mummy; Louis XIV. a black, indistinguishable mass of aromatics. Louis XV. came last out of his tomb. The vault of the Bourbons rendered up its dead; queens, dauphinesses, princesses, were carried away in armfuls by the workmen and cast into the trench. A brief interval of proud separation, and they were mingled with the common dust! Their ashes dissipated, nothing but their empty tombs remain,—the 842houses of the dead, like the houses of the living, long surviving, as melancholy mementos of the tenants for whom they were erected.
For a few thousand years, some seemingly lucky kings and princes might control the natural cycle of a few specks of dust. But how are they any better than Cromwell, whose remains were ruthlessly disturbed, or Wyckliffe, whose ashes were scattered at sea, or St. Genevieve, whose remains were burned in the Place de Grève and her ashes blown away in the wind, or Mausolus, whose dust was consumed by his wife Artemisia, or the King of Edom, whose bones were burned for lime, or St. Pepin and all the royal Bourbon line, whose tombs were looted by a Parisian mob? Lamartine tells us in his History of the Girondists that a decree from the Convention ordered the destruction of the kings' tombs at St. Denis. The Commune turned this decree into an assault on the dead. * * * * The axe broke through the bronze gates that Charlemagne had given to the Basilica of St. Denis. * * * They lifted the stones, searched the vaults, desecrated the resting places of the departed, looking for, beneath the wrappings and shrouds, embalmed bodies, decayed flesh, charred bones, and empty skulls of kings, queens, princes, ministers, bishops. Pepin, the founder of the Carolingian dynasty and father of Charlemagne, was now just a handful of gray ash, which was scattered by the wind in an instant. The mutilated heads of Turenne, Duguesclin, Louis XII, and Francis I were rolled onto the pavement. * * * * Beneath the choir were buried the princes and princesses of the first line, and some from the third—Hugh Capet, Philip the Bold, Philip the Handsome. They tore away their silk shrouds and tossed them onto a bed of quicklime. * * * * They dumped Henry IV's body into a common grave. His son and grandson, Louis XIII and XIV, followed. Louis XIII was just a mummy; Louis XIV was an indistinguishable mass of aromatics. Louis XV was the last to leave his tomb. The Bourbon vault released its dead; queens, dauphinesses, and princesses were carried away in heaps by the workers and thrown into the trench. After a brief moment of proud separation, they mingled with the common dust! Their ashes spread, and only their empty tombs remain—the 842houses of the dead, like the houses of the living, long surviving as sad reminders of the residents for whom they were built.
M. de Saulcy, in his Journey Round the Dead Sea, remarks of the rock-tombs of the valley of Hinnom, “The immense necropolis, traces of which are to be met with at every step in the valley, dates from the period when the Jebusites were masters of the country. After them the Israelites deposited the remains of their fathers in the same grottoes; and the same tombs, after having become at a still later period those of the Christians who had obtained possession of the Holy City, have, since the destruction of the Latin kingdoms of Jerusalem, ceased to change both masters and occupants. Even the scattered bones are no more found in them; and from the city of the dead the dead alone have disappeared, while the abodes are still entire.”
M. de Saulcy, in his Journey Round the Dead Sea, notes about the rock-tombs in the valley of Hinnom, “The vast burial ground, remnants of which can be found at every turn in the valley, dates back to when the Jebusites controlled the area. After them, the Israelites placed the remains of their ancestors in the same caves; and those same tombs, which later became the burial sites for Christians who took over the Holy City, have, since the fall of the Latin kingdoms of Jerusalem, stopped changing hands and occupants. Even the scattered bones are no longer found in them; and from this city of the dead, the dead have alone vanished, while the tombs still remain intact.”
There is a barbaric philosophy, therefore, as well as an apparent knowledge of the course of nature, in the treatment of the dead which prevails in Thibet and on the slopes of the Himalaya. In the former country the dead body is cut in pieces, and either thrown into the lakes to feed the fishes, or exposed on the hill-tops to the eagles and birds of prey. On the Himalayan slopes the Sikkim burn the body and scatter the ashes on the ground. The end is the same among these tribes of men as among us. They briefly anticipate the usual course of time,—a little sooner verifying the inspired words, “Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.”
There is a brutal philosophy, along with a clear understanding of nature, in how the dead are treated in Tibet and on the slopes of the Himalayas. In Tibet, the dead body is chopped up and either tossed into lakes to feed the fish or left on mountaintops for the eagles and other birds of prey. In the Himalayan region, the Sikkim people burn the body and spread the ashes on the ground. The outcome is the same for these groups as it is for us. They simply acknowledge the natural process a bit earlier, affirming the inspired words, “Dust you are, and to dust you shall return.”
WHIMSICAL WILL.
By William Hunnis, Chapel-master to Queen Elizabeth:—
By William Hunnis, Chapel Master for Queen Elizabeth:—
THE TRIPOD.
According to the Babylonian Talmud, Beracoth, p. 8, and in Jalkud Schimoni on Ps. lxviii, 20, “Nine hundred and three axe the kinds of death made in this world.” Physiologists drop the nine hundred, declare that life stands on a tripod, and assert that we die by the lungs, the heart, or the brain.
According to the Babylonian Talmud, Beracoth, p. 8, and in Jalkud Schimoni on Ps. lxviii, 20, “Nine hundred and three types of death occur in this world.” Physiologists simplify this number and say that life is supported by three main systems, claiming that we die from issues related to the lungs, the heart, or the brain.
IMPRECATORY EPITAPH.
The Shakspearean imprecation, “Curst be he that moves my bones,” is paralleled in an epitaph in Runic characters at Greniadarstad church, in Iceland, which according to Finn Magnussen’s interpretation, concludes thus:—
The Shakespearean curse, “Cursed be he that moves my bones,” is mirrored in an epitaph in Runic characters at Greniadarstad church in Iceland, which according to Finn Magnussen’s interpretation, ends like this:—
THE FLEUR-DE-LIS.
Nothing, says an old writer, could be more simple than the lily, which was the distinctive badge of the French monarchy; nor, at the same time, could anything be more symbolic of the state of the nobility and gentry, exempted from the necessity of working for a livelihood or for dress, than lilies, of which it is said: “They toil not neither do they spin,” neque laborant neque nent,—which was the motto of the royal arms of France.
Nothing, says an old writer, could be simpler than the lily, which was the symbol of the French monarchy; nor, at the same time, could anything be more representative of the nobility and gentry, who were free from the need to work for a living or for clothing, than lilies, of which it is said: “They toil not neither do they spin,” neither work nor rest,—which was the motto of the royal arms of France.
THE PLAGUES OF EGYPT.
A STORY OF LONG AGO.
The long time ago of which I mean to tell, says Jean Ingelow, was a wild night in March, during which, in a fisherman’s hut ashore, sat a young girl at her spinning-wheel, and looked out on the dark driving clouds, and listened, trembling, to the winds and the seas. The morning light dawned at last. One boat that should have been riding on the troubled waves was missing—her father’s boat! and half a mile from the cottage her father’s body was washed upon the shore.
The long time ago that I want to talk about, says Jean Ingelow, was a stormy night in March. A young girl sat in a fisherman’s hut by the shore, working at her spinning wheel, gazing out at the dark, racing clouds, and nervously listening to the wind and the sea. Finally, morning light broke. One boat that should have been floating on the rough waves was missing—her father’s boat! Half a mile from the cottage, her father’s body was washed up on the shore.
This happened fifty years ago, and fifty years is a long time in the life of a human being; fifty years is a long time to go on in such a course as the woman did of whom I am speaking. She watched her father’s body, according to the custom of her people, till he was laid in the grave. Then she laid down on her bed and slept, and by night got up and set a candle in her casement, as a beacon to the fishermen and a guide. She sat by the candle all night, and trimmed it, and spun; then when the day dawned she went to bed and slept in the sunshine. So many hanks as she spun before for her daily bread, she spun still, and one over, to buy her nightly candle; and from that time to this, for fifty years, through youth, maturity, and old age, she turned night into day, and in the snow-storms of Winter, through driving mists, deceptive moonlight, and solemn darkness, that northern harbor has never once been without the light of her candle.
This happened fifty years ago, and fifty years is a long time in a person’s life; it’s a long time to continue on the path of the woman I’m talking about. She watched her father’s body, as was customary in her culture, until he was buried. After that, she lay down on her bed and slept, then got up at night and placed a candle in her window, as a beacon for the fishermen and a guide. She sat by the candle all night, trimmed it, and spun; when dawn broke, she went to bed and slept in the sunlight. She spun as many hanks as before for her daily needs, plus one extra to buy her nightly candle; and ever since then, for fifty years—through her youth, adulthood, and old age—she turned night into day. Even during the snowstorms of winter, through driving mists, deceptive moonlight, and deep darkness, that northern harbor has never been without the light of her candle.
How many lives she saved by this candle, or how many meals she won for the starving families of the boatmen, it is impossible to say; how many a dark night the fishermen, depending on it, went fearlessly forth, cannot now be told. There it stood, regular as a light-house, and steady as constant care could make it. Always brighter when daylight waned, they had only to keep it constantly in view and they were safe; there was but one thing that could intercept it, and that was the rock. However far they might have stretched out to sea, they 845had only to bear down straight for that lighted window, and they were sure of a safe entrance into the harbor.
How many lives she saved with that candle, or how many meals she provided for the starving families of the boatmen, it’s impossible to say; how many dark nights the fishermen, relying on it, went out fearlessly, we can’t tell now. There it stood, regular as a lighthouse, and steady as constant care could make it. Always brighter when daylight faded, they just had to keep it in sight and they were safe; there was only one thing that could block it, and that was the rock. No matter how far they might have ventured out to sea, they just had to head straight for that lit window, and they were guaranteed a safe return to the harbor.
Fifty years of life and labor—fifty years of sleeping in the sunshine—fifty years of watching and self-denial, and all to feed the flame and trim the wick of that one candle! But if we look upon the recorded lives of great men and just men and wise men, few of them can show fifty years of worthier, certainly not of more successful labor. Little, indeed, of the “midnight oil” consumed during the last half century so worthily deserved trimming. Happy woman—and but for the dreaded rock her great charity might never have been called into exercise.
Fifty years of living and working—fifty years of soaking up the sun—fifty years of observing and practicing self-restraint, all to fuel the flame and adjust the wick of that one candle! But if we examine the recorded lives of great, just, and wise individuals, few can demonstrate fifty years of more meaningful, certainly not more successful, work. Indeed, little of the “midnight oil” burned in the last fifty years truly deserved to be adjusted. What a fortunate woman—and if not for the feared obstacle, her great generosity might never have been put to task.
But what do the boatmen and the boatmen’s wives think of this? Do they pay the woman? No, they are very poor; but poor or rich they know better than that. Do they thank her? No. Perhaps they feel that thanks of theirs would be inadequate to express their obligations, or, perhaps long years have made the lighted casement so familiar that it is looked upon as a matter of course. Sometimes the fishermen lay fish on her threshold, and set a child to watch it for her till she wakes; sometimes their wives steal into her cottage, now she is getting old, and spin a hank or two of thread for her while she slumbers; and they teach their children to pass her hut quietly, and not to sing and shout before her door, lest they should disturb her. That is all. Their thanks are not looked for—scarcely supposed to be due. Their grateful deeds are more than she expects and much as she desires.
But what do the boatmen and their wives think about this? Do they pay the woman? No, they are very poor; but whether poor or rich, they know better than that. Do they thank her? No. Maybe they feel that their thanks wouldn't be enough to express their gratitude, or maybe after so many years, the lighted window has become so familiar that it's taken for granted. Sometimes the fishermen leave fish on her doorstep and set a child to watch over it until she wakes up; other times, their wives quietly come into her cottage, now that she's getting older, and spin a few hanks of thread for her while she sleeps; and they teach their kids to pass by her hut quietly, not to sing or shout in front of her door so they won’t disturb her. That's all. Their thanks aren’t expected—hardly thought to be necessary. Their acts of kindness are more than she expects and just as much as she hopes for.
How often in the far distance of my English home, I have awoke in a wild Winter night, and while the wind and storm were arising, have thought of that northern bay, with the waves dashing against the rock, and have pictured to myself the casement, and the candle nursed by that bending, aged figure! How delighted to know that through her untiring charity the rock has long since lost more than half its terror, 846and to consider that, curse though it may be to all besides, it has most surely proved a blessing to her.
How often from the distance of my English home, I have woken on a wild winter night, and as the wind and storm picked up, I have thought of that northern bay, with the waves crashing against the rocks, and imagined the window and the candle kept alive by that hunched, old figure! How wonderful to know that through her tireless kindness, the rock has long since lost more than half its frightening nature, and to think that, although it may be a curse to everyone else, it has definitely been a blessing to her. 846
You, too, may perhaps think with advantage on the character of this woman, and contrast it with the mission of the rock. There are many degrees between them. Few, like the rock, stand up wholly to work ruin and destruction; few, like the woman, “let their light shine” so brightly for good. But to one of the many degrees between them we must all most certainly belong—we all lean towards the woman or the rock. On such characters you do well to speculate with me, for you have not been cheated into sympathy with ideal shipwreck or imaginary kindness. There is many a rock elsewhere as perilous as the one I told you of—perhaps there are many such women; but for this one, whose story is before you, pray that her candle may burn a little longer, since this record of her charity is true.
You might want to consider the character of this woman and compare it to the role of the rock. There are many levels between them. Few, like the rock, are solely responsible for causing ruin and destruction; few, like the woman, “let their light shine” so brightly for good. But we all definitely fall somewhere on that spectrum—we all lean towards the woman or the rock. It’s good to think about these characters with me, because you haven’t been misled into feeling sympathy for an idealized shipwreck or fictional kindness. There are plenty of rocks out there just as dangerous as the one I mentioned—maybe there are many women like her too; but for this one, whose story you're reading, let's hope her candle burns a little longer, since this account of her kindness is true.
THIS IS NOT OUR HOME.
Among the beautiful thoughts which dropped like pearls from the pen of that brilliant and talented journalist, George D. Prentice, the following sublime extract upon man’s higher destiny is perhaps the best known and most universally admitted. Coming from such a source we can well appreciate it, for that distinguished man had attained a position among his fellows which would have satisfied almost any earthly ambition. Yet all this could not recompense him for the toils and ills of life, and in the eloquent passage subjoined he portrays, most beautifully, the restless longings of the human heart for something higher and nobler than earth can afford.
Among the beautiful thoughts that fell like pearls from the pen of the brilliant journalist George D. Prentice, the following insightful extract about man's higher purpose is probably the most well-known and widely accepted. Coming from such a source, we can truly appreciate it, as this distinguished man had achieved a level of success that would satisfy almost any earthly ambition. Yet, this success couldn’t make up for the struggles and hardships of life. In the eloquent passage that follows, he beautifully expresses the restless longings of the human heart for something greater and nobler than what the earth can offer.
“It cannot be that earth is man’s only abiding place. It cannot be that our life is a bubble cast up by the ocean of eternity to float a moment upon its waves and sink into nothingness. Else, why these high and glorious aspirations which leap like angels from the temple of our hearts, forever wandering unsatisfied? Why is it that the rainbow and cloud come over us with a beauty that is not of earth, and then pass off to leave us 847to muse on their loveliness? Why is it the stars which hold their festival around the midnight throne, are set above the grasp of our limited faculties, forever mocking us with their unapproachable glory? And, finally, why is it that the bright forms of human beauty are presented to our view and taken from us, leaving the thousand streams of our affections to flow back in Alpine torrents upon our hearts? We were born for a higher destiny than earth. There is a realm where the rainbow never fades, where the stars will be spread out before us like the islands that slumber on the ocean, and where the beautiful beings that pass before us like shadows, will stay forever in our presence.”
“It can’t be that Earth is the only home for humanity. It can’t be that our lives are just bubbles created by the ocean of eternity, floating for a moment on its waves before sinking into nothingness. Otherwise, why do we have these lofty and glorious aspirations that soar like angels from the temple of our hearts, always wandering unfulfilled? Why do the rainbow and clouds appear with a beauty that isn't of this world, only to disappear and leave us to ponder their loveliness? Why do the stars that celebrate around the midnight throne remain beyond our reach, forever taunting us with their unattainable brilliance? And finally, why do we see the beautiful forms of humanity presented to us only to have them taken away, causing the many streams of our affections to surge back like roaring torrents in our hearts? We were meant for a higher purpose than just this life on Earth. There is a realm where the rainbow never fades, where the stars will be laid out before us like islands resting on the ocean, and where the beautiful beings who pass by us like shadows will remain in our presence forever.”
ILL SUCCESS IN LIFE.
One of our best American writers, Geo. S. Hillard, forcibly and truly says:—
One of our best American writers, Geo. S. Hillard, powerfully and accurately states:—
I confess that increasing years bring with them an increasing respect for men who do not succeed in life, as those words are commonly used. Heaven is said to be a place for those who have not succeeded on earth; and it is sure that celestial grace does not thrive and bloom in the hot blaze of worldly prosperity. Ill success sometimes arises from a superabundance of qualities in themselves good—from a conscience too sensitive, a taste too fastidious, a self-forgetfulness too romantic, and modesty too retiring. I will not go so far as to say, with a living poet, “that the world knows nothing of its great men,” but there are forms of greatness, or at least excellence, which “die and make no sign;” there are martyrs that miss the palm but not the stake, heroes without the laurel, and conquerors without the triumph.
I admit that as I get older, I have more respect for people who don’t find success in life, at least as society defines it. It's said that heaven is for those who have struggled on earth, and it's clear that divine grace doesn’t flourish in the hot light of worldly success. Sometimes, failure comes from having too many good qualities—like a conscience that’s too sensitive, a taste that’s too picky, a selflessness that’s too idealistic, and a modesty that’s too reserved. I won't go as far as to agree with a contemporary poet who says, “the world knows nothing of its great men,” but there are types of greatness, or at least excellence, that “die and make no sign;” there are martyrs who miss out on the victory but still endure suffering, heroes who lack recognition, and conquerors who don’t receive celebration.
FUTURITY.
“Life is sweet,” said Sir Anthony Kingston to Bishop Hooper at the stake, “and death bitter.” “True, friend,” he replied, “but consider that the death to come is more bitter, and the life to come is more sweet.”
“Life is sweet,” said Sir Anthony Kingston to Bishop Hooper at the stake, “and death is bitter.” “True, my friend,” he replied, “but remember that the death we face is even more bitter, and the life that awaits us is even sweeter.”
THE HEART.
In his charming Hyperion, Mr. Longfellow says:—
In his charming Hyperion, Mr. Longfellow states:—
The little I have seen of the world, and know of the history of mankind, teaches me to look upon the errors of others in sorrow, not in anger. When I take the history of one poor heart that has sinned and suffered, and represent to myself the struggles and temptations it has passed,—the brief pulsations of joy,—the feverish inquietude of hope and fear,—the tears of regret,—the feebleness of purpose,—the pressure of want,—the desertion of friends,—the scorn of a world that has little charity,—the desolation of the soul’s sanctuary,—threatening voices within,—health gone,—happiness gone,—even hope, that remains the longest, gone,—I would fain leave the erring soul of my fellow-man with Him from whose hands it came,
The little I’ve seen of the world and know about human history makes me view the mistakes of others with sadness, not anger. When I think about the struggles and temptations one troubled heart has faced—the brief moments of joy—the restless anxiety of hope and fear—the tears of regret—the weakness of purpose—the burden of need—the abandonment by friends—the harsh judgment of a world that shows little kindness—the devastation of the soul’s inner peace—threatening thoughts that linger—health lost—happiness lost—even hope, which lasts the longest, gone—I would gladly leave the wandering soul of my fellow man with Him from whose hands it came,
EVENING PRAYER.
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT.
On the shores of the Adriatic sea the wives of the fishermen, whose husbands have gone far off upon the deep, are in the habit, at even-tide, of going down to the sea-shore, and singing, as female voices only can, the first stanza of a beautiful hymn; after they have sung it they will listen till they hear, borne by the wind across the desert sea, the second stanza sung 849by their gallant husbands, as they are tossed by the gale upon the waves, and both are happy. Perhaps, if we listen, we, too, might hear on this desert world of ours some whisper borne from afar to remind us that there is a heaven and a home; and when we sing the hymn upon earth, perhaps we shall hear its echo breaking in the music upon the sands of time, and cheering the hearts of those that are pilgrims and strangers, and look for a city that hath foundation.
On the shores of the Adriatic Sea, the wives of fishermen, whose husbands have gone far out to sea, often head down to the shoreline at dusk to sing, as only female voices can, the first stanza of a beautiful hymn. After they sing it, they listen until they hear, carried by the wind across the empty sea, the second stanza sung by their brave husbands, tossed by the wind on the waves, and both are happy. Perhaps, if we listen closely, we, too, might catch a whisper from far away to remind us that there is a heaven and a home; and when we sing the hymn on earth, maybe we will hear its echo blending with the music on the sands of time, uplifting the hearts of those who are travelers and strangers, looking for a city with a true foundation.
LIFE’S PARTING.
Wordsworth read less and praised less the writings of other poets, than any one of his contemporaries. This gives an especial interest to the following stanza by Mrs. Barbauld, which he learned by heart, and which he used to ask his sister to repeat to him. Once, while walking in his sitting-room at Rydal, with his hands behind him, his friend, Henry Crabb Robinson heard him say: “I am not in the habit of grudging people their good things; but I wish I had written those lines:—
Wordsworth read and praised the works of other poets less than any of his contemporaries. This makes the following stanza by Mrs. Barbauld especially interesting, as he memorized it and often asked his sister to recite it for him. Once, while walking in his sitting room at Rydal with his hands behind his back, his friend, Henry Crabb Robinson, heard him say: “I don’t usually resent others for their successes, but I really wish I had written those lines:—
DESTINY.
SYMPATHY.
Talfourd says in his Ion:—
Talfourd says in his Ion:—
AFTER.
DEATH’S FINAL CONQUEST.
[Among the poetic legacies that will “never grow old, nor change, nor pass away,” is the noble dirge of Shirley, in his Contention of Ajax and Ulysses. Doubtless it was by the fall, if not by the death, of Charles I., that the mind of the royalist poet was solemnized to the creation of these imperishable stanzas. Oliver Cromwell is said, on the recital of them, to have been seized with great terror and agitation of mind.]
[Among the poetic legacies that will “never grow old, nor change, nor pass away,” is the noble dirge of Shirley, in his Contention of Ajax and Ulysses. Surely, it was prompted by the fall, if not the death, of Charles I., that inspired the royalist poet to create these timeless stanzas. Oliver Cromwell is said to have been overwhelmed with great fear and anxiety when he heard them recited.]
THE COMMON HERITAGE.
There is—says the author of Euthanasy—no universal night in this earth, and for us in the universe there is no death. What to us here is night coming on, is, on the other side of the earth, night ending, and day begun. And so what we call death, the angels may regard as immortal birth.
There isn’t—says the author of Euthanasia—any universal night on this planet, and for us in the universe, there’s no death. What feels like night approaching to us here is, on the other side of the world, night ending and day starting. So, what we refer to as death, the angels might see as immortal birth.
852We are born—says another writer—with the principles of dissolution in our frame, which continue to operate from our birth to our death; so that in this sense we may be said to “die daily.” Death is not so much a laying aside our old bodies (for this we have been doing all our lives) as ceasing to assume new ones.
852Another writer says we come into the world with the principles of decay built into us, and these principles keep working from the moment we’re born until we die; in this way, we could say we "die every day." Death isn’t just about shedding our old bodies (since we’ve been doing that our whole lives) but rather it’s about stopping the process of taking on new ones.
“Say,” said one who was about entering the Dark Valley, to his amanuensis, “that I am still in the land of the living, but expect soon to be numbered with the dead.” But, after a moment’s reflection, he added, “Stop! say that I am still in the land of the dying, but expect to be soon in the land of the living.”
“Hey,” said someone who was about to enter the Dark Valley to his assistant, “tell them that I'm still alive, but I expect to soon be counted among the dead.” But after a moment of thought, he added, “Wait! I’d rather you say that I’m still in the land of the dying, but I expect to soon be in the land of the living.”
Says old Jeremy Collier, The more we sink into the infirmities of age, the nearer we are to immortal youth. All people are young in the other world. That state is an eternal spring, ever fresh and flourishing. Now, to pass from midnight into noon on the sudden, to be decrepit one minute, and all spirit and activity the next, must be an entertaining change. To call this dying is an abuse of language.
Says old Jeremy Collier, the more we deal with the weaknesses of age, the closer we get to everlasting youth. Everyone is young in the afterlife. That state is like an eternal spring, always fresh and vibrant. Now, going from midnight to noon all of a sudden, being frail one minute and full of energy and life the next, must be a fascinating transformation. Calling this dying is a misuse of words.
The day of our decease—says Mountford—will be that of our coming of age; and with our last breath we shall become free of the universe. And in some region of infinity, and from among its splendors, this earth will be looked back upon like a lowly home, and this life of ours be remembered like a short apprenticeship to Duty.
The day we die—says Mountford—will be our coming of age; and with our last breath, we will be free from the universe. And in some endless space, among its wonders, this earth will be seen as a humble home, and this life of ours will be remembered like a brief training in Duty.

INDEX.
- Alphabetical Fun, 25.
- Acrostic poems, 39.
- Alliterative on Miss Stephens, 45.
- Brevity of human life, 48.
- Burke, 42.
- Chronogrammatic pasquinade, 45.
- Crabbe, 42.
- Death of Lord Hatherton, 40.
- Dryden, 42.
- Emblematic fish, 46.
- Hempe, 47.
- Herbert, George, 41.
- Huber, 42.
- Irving, 43.
- Longfellow, 43.
- Macaulay, 44.
- Macready, 43.
- Masonic memento, 47.
- Monastic verse, 45.
- Napoleon family, 46.
- Oliver’s impromptu on Arnold, 44.
- Rachel, 46.
- Reynolds, 42.
- Scott, Walter, 42.
- Southey, 44.
- Valentine, a, 49.
- Wordsworth, 43.
- Alliteration, 34.
- Anagrams, 49.
- The Bible, 103.
- Accuracy of the Bible, 103.
- Bibliomancy, 126.
- Books belonging to, lost or unknown, 114.
- 854Dissection of Old and New Testaments, 112.
- Distinctions in the gospels, 113.
- English Bible translations, 108.
- Hexameters in the Bible, 115.
- Misquotations from Scripture, 123.
- Old and New Testament, names, 125.
- Parallelism of the Hebrew poetry, 116.
- Parallel passages between Shakspeare and the Bible, 119.
- Scriptural bull, 124.
- Scriptural sum, 126.
- Selah, 114.
- Similarity of sound, 118.
- Testimony of learned men, 106.
- True gentleman, the, 122.
- Wit and humor in the Bible, 124.
- Mistakes, 259.
- Bouts Rimés, 88.
- Cento, the, 73.
- Chronograms, 57.
- Graveyard Literature, 564.
- Advertising notices, 583.
- Antithesis extraordinary, 606.
- Bathos, 600.
- Brevity, 607.
- Cento, 601.
- Earth to earth, 612.
- Epitaph, historical, 578.
- Epitaphs, aboriginal, 602.
- acrostical, 601.
- African, 602.
- biographical, 578.
- curious and puzzling, 596.
- eulogistic, apt, appropriate, 570.
- Greek, 603.
- Hibernian, 602.
- laudatory, 608.
- miscellaneous, 610.
- moralizing and admonitory, 581.
- on eminent men, 564.
- on infants and children, 575.
- self-written, 580.
- unique and ludicrous, 583.
- Mortuary puns, 591.
- Parallels without a parallel, 600.
- Chain Verse, 85.
- Matching Meaning to Sound, 554.
- Curious Reads, 720.
- Customs, Unique, 477.
- Abyssinian beefsteaks, 478.
- Beautiful superstition, 477.
- Foundations of Druidical temples, 478.
- Hair in seals, 481.
- High life in the 15th century, 480.
- Lion-catching in South Africa, 479.
- Making noses, 479.
- Matrimonial advertisement, 481.
- Memento mori, 477.
- Ostiak regard for boars, 478.
- Scorning the church, 481.
- Strange fondness for beauty, 477.
- Ecclesiastical, 143.
- Echo Poem, 281.
- Symbolic Poetry, 92.
- English Words and Ways of Expressing Ideas, 182.
- Compound epithets, 211.
- Dictionary English, 182.
- Disraelian English, 184.
- Eccentric etymologies, 195.
- Excise, 189.
- Forlorn hope, 193.
- Influence of names, 209.
- I say, 186.
- Its, 185.
- No love lost, etc., 193.
- Not Americanisms, 191.
- Nouns of multitude, 184.
- Odd changes of signification, 205.
- Our vernacular in Chaucer’s time, 211.
- Pathology, 186.
- Pontiff, 190.
- Pronunciation of ough, 186.
- Quiz, 194.
- Rough, 190.
- Sources of the language, 183.
- Tennyson’s English, 194.
- 856That, 185.
- That mine adversary, 195.
- Ye for the, 185.
- Epigrams, 515.
- Affinities, 524.
- Apollo, in return for a sketch of, 525.
- Author, to a living, 518.
- Bed, to our, 517.
- Blades of the shears, 523.
- Bonnets, 521.
- Butler’s monument, 518.
- Campbell’s album verse, 521.
- Clock, the, 525.
- Commissary Goldie’s brains, 519.
- Compliment, overdrawn, 518.
- Crier who could not cry, 524.
- Dentist, definition of, 522.
- Determination, a funny, 526.
- Double vision utilized, 527.
- Dum vivimus, vivamus, 516.
- D.D., on a certain, 521.
- Eternity, 518.
- Eve and the apple, 523.
- Fell, 520.
- Fiddler, on a bad, 521.
- Fool and poet, 516.
- Fools, abundance of, 527.
- Friend, to Dr. Robert, 516.
- Friend, to a capricious, 519.
- Friend in distress, 522.
- German tourist, suggested by a, 518.
- Giving and taking, 519.
- Goodenough, 523.
- Hog vs. Bacon, 522.
- Hot corn, 521.
- Impersonal, 524.
- Invisible, 524.
- Lady who married a footman, 521.
- Late repentance, 517.
- Law, after going to, 526.
- Lawyer, on an ill-read, 520.
- Lover to his mistress, with a mirror, 519.
- Marriage with ice cream, 526.
- Marriage of Webb & Gould, 526.
- Martial’s, on Epigrams, 515.
- Masculine, 525.
- Medical advice, 522.
- Mendax, 520.
- Midas and modern statesmen, 515.
- Molly Aston, to, 516.
- One good turn deserves another, 520.
- One ignorant and arrogant, on, 516.
- Pale lady with red-nosed husband, 517.
- Parson and butcher, 525.
- Portmanteau, clergyman’s, loss of, 518.
- Queen Bess on Drake’s ship, 524.
- Queen, the frugal, 519.
- Quid pro quo, 527.
- Reception, a warm, 522.
- Reflection, a, 523.
- Rogers on Ward’s speeches, 526.
- Same jawbone, 526.
- Selvaggi’s distich to Milton, 517.
- Amplification, by Dryden, 517.
- Simplicity, prudent, 522.
- Sleep, inscription on a statue of, 516.
- Snow, that melted on a lady’s breast, 517.
- Songsters, bad, 520.
- Finish without hearing, 527.
- To ——, 519.
- Wellington’s nose, 520.
- What might have been, 523.
- 857Widows, 525.
- Woman,—contra, 527.
- pro, 527.
- Woman’s will, 520.
- World, the, 527.
- Ambiguity, 64.
- Age of French actresses, 71.
- Double-faced creed, 66.
- Fatal double meaning, 68.
- Handwriting on the wall, 71.
- Houses of Stuart and Hanover, 68.
- Ingenious subterfuge, 65.
- Love-letter, 65.
- Loyalty or Jacobinism, 69.
- Neat evasion, 70.
- New Regime, 68.
- Patriotic toast, 70.
- Revolutionary verses, 67.
- Richelieu’s letter to the French ambassador, 64.
- Triple platform, 61.
- Jokes, 482.
- Association of ideas, 491.
- Brevity, 484.
- False friend, a, 488.
- Gasconade and hoaxing, 489.
- Jack Robinson, 492.
- Jests of Hierocles, 482.
- Mathews and the silver spoon, 489.
- Old Nick, 488.
- P. and Q., 491.
- Relics, 490.
- Royal quandary, 490.
- Russian jester and his jokes, 492.
- Same joke diversified, 486.
- Syllogism, 488.
- Titles for library-door, 482.
- Fabrications, 269.
- Famous Quotes from Unknown Sources, 556.
- Fantasies of Reality, the, 406.
- Aerolites, 443.
- Alligators swallowing stones, 418.
- America’s discoverers, fate of, 445.
- Amount of gold in the world, 423.
- Antipathies, 471.
- Army of women, 446.
- Auditoriums of last century, 409.
- Back action, 408.
- Beer-casks, capacious, 425.
- Bills for strange services, 407.
- Black hole at Calcutta, 427.
- Broken heart, a, 467.
- Chick in the egg, 416.
- Cloth-manufacture, celerity of, 421.
- Coincidences, singular, 412.
- Colors, diversity of, 442.
- Composition in dreams, 455.
- Cross, true form of the, 409.
- Crown of England, 446.
- Crude value vs. industrial value, 422.
- Devonshire superstition, 475.
- Diameter to circumference, ratio of, 431.
- Difference between English poets, 426.
- 858Diplomatic costume, 448.
- Equestrian expeditions, remarkable, 419.
- Facial expression, 466.
- Fear, effects of, 465.
- Feline clocks, 474.
- Heaven, dimensions of, 435.
- Horse, wonderful, 420.
- Indian and his tamed snake, 417.
- Innate appetite, 417.
- Kaleidoscope, changes of, 441.
- Law logic, 407.
- Lock, wonderful, 421.
- Longevity, instances of remarkable, 449.
- Marriage vow, 455.
- Mathematical prodigies, 432.
- Means of recognition, 454.
- Melrose by sunlight, 408.
- Memory extraordinary, 433.
- Minute mechanism, 430.
- Need of Providence, 434.
- Noah’s ark and the Great Eastern, 442.
- Number nine, 441.
- Opium and East Indian hemp, 461.
- Painters, blunders of, 429.
- Perils of precocity, 427.
- Presidents, facts about the, 445.
- Pithy prayer, 408.
- Quantity and value, 422,
- Reciprocal conversion, 407.
- Romans, immense wealth of the, 424.
- Romantic highwayman, 476.
- Salt as a luxury, 428.
- Self-immolation, 434.
- Sensation and intelligence after decapitation, 469.
- Sheep, habits of, 418.
- Silent compliment, 434.
- Skull that had a tongue, 475.
- Sleep, facts about, 456.
- Solomon’s temple, cost of, 435.
- Star in the East, 447.
- Stone barometer, 428.
- Strychnia, bitterness of, 428.
- Sympathy, strange instance of, 473.
- Taste, singular change of, 429.
- Walking blindfolded, 473.
- Wine at two millions a bottle, 425.
- Wounds of Julius Cæsar, 406.
- Witty Comebacks, 495.
- Hibernia, 252.
- Historical Notes, 782.
- American monarchy, 786.
- Amy Robsart, 808.
- Annie Laurie, 804.
- Biter bit, 818.
- Blücher, 794.
- Contemporary criticism, 798.
- Discovery of America, 803.
- Empire (the) is peace, 794.
- First blood of the Revolution, 782.
- Flight of Eugenie, 789.
- French tricolor, 788.
- Great events from little causes, 800.
- History and fiction, 797.
- Jefferson on Marie Antoinette, 794.
- Joan of Arc, 807.
- Last night of the Girondists, 819.
- Mary Magdalene, the traditional, 796.
- Mother Goose, 797.
- Mother of Charles, V., 795.
- Napoleon III., 793.
- Political gamut, 788.
- 859Quaker malignants, 786.
- Queen Elizabeth’s ring, 822.
- Robin Adair, 805.
- Signing Declaration of Independence, 802.
- Star-spangled banner, 787.
- Tea-party and tea-burning, 783.
- Time of Le Grand Monarque, 815.
- United States Navy, 784.
- William Tell, 810.
- Historical Parallels, 679.
- Art stories, 689.
- Ballads and legends, 690.
- Battles, 697.
- Bishop Hatto, 698.
- Burial alive, 692.
- Death prophecies, 696.
- History repeating itself, 681.
- Judgment of Solomon, 685.
- Legend of Beth Gelert, 686.
- Precedency, 685.
- Refusal to separate from kindred, 679.
- Ring stories, 695.
- Two statesmen, the, 683.
- Versification Humor, 230.
- Bryant as a humorist, 235.
- Curse of O’Kelly, 250.
- Elegy on Buckland, 233.
- Human ear, the, 238.
- Lovers, the, 230.
- Ologies, the, 244.
- Receipt of a rare pipe, 236.
- Reiterative vocal music, 248.
- Reminiscence of Troy, 234.
- Sir Tray, 240.
- Song with variations, 231.
- Stammering wife, 231.
- Thoughts while rocking the cradle, 232.
- Variation humbug, 246.
- I. H. S., 130.
- Spontaneous moments, 528.
- Engravings, 615.
- Beer-jug, inscription on, 621.
- Bells, inscriptions on, 623.
- Books, fly-leaf inscriptions in, 627.
- English inns in olden time, 622.
- Æolian harp, inscription on, 633.
- Francke’s discovery, 636.
- Golden mottoes, 636.
- House inscriptions, 634.
- Memorials, 635.
- Motto on a clock, 631.
- Posies from wedding-rings, 636.
- Spring, inscription over, 633.
- Sun-dial inscriptions, 632.
- Tavern-signs, 615.
- Watch-paper inscription, 631.
- Wedding ring, Lady Grey’s, 639.
- Window-pane inscriptions, 622.
- Interrupted Sentences, 277.
- Life & Death, 826.
- After, 850.
- Beautiful thought, 848.
- Bodies, preserved, 836.
- Bone not described by modern anatomists, 832.
- Charter, rhyming, 830.
- Common heritage, the, 851.
- Corpses, folly of embalming, 839.
- Death’s final conquest, 851.
- Definitions, rhyming, 830.
- Destiny, 849.
- Dying words of distinguished persons, 833.
- 860Earth, 830.
- Evening prayer, 848.
- Fleur-de-lis, the, 843.
- Futurity, 847.
- Heart, the, 848.
- Ill success in life, 847.
- Imprecatory epitaph, 843.
- Lawyers, nice questions for, 831.
- Life, beautiful illustrations of 826.
- Life’s parting, 849.
- Living life over again, 829.
- Mary, Queen of Scots, last prayer of, 835.
- Moral code, Dr. Franklin’s, 828.
- Plagues of Egypt, 843.
- Questions for discussion, 836.
- Remarkable trance, 835.
- Round of life, the, 827.
- Rules of living, 828.
- Story of long ago, 844.
- Sympathy, 850.
- This is not our home, 846.
- Time, employment of, 829.
- Tripod, the, 843.
- Whimsical will, 843.
- Literature, 723.
- Additional verses to Sweet Home, 746.
- Anachronisms of Shakspeare, 742.
- Books and studies, 755.
- Comfort for book lovers, 753.
- Conflicting testimony of eye-witnesses, 750.
- Gray’s elegy, 729.
- Hamlet’s age, 745.
- Hamlet’s insanity, 746.
- Heraldry, Indian, 741.
- Letters and their endings, 754.
- Letters of Junius, 723.
- Old paper, an, 753.
- Parting interview of Hector and Andromache, 734.
- Pope’s versification, 737.
- Punctuation, importance of, 738.
- Shakspeare and typography, 744.
- Shakspeare’s heroines, 744.
- Shakspeare’s sonnets, 745.
- Stereotyped falsehoods of history, 747.
- Wit and humor, 751.
- Literature enthusiasts, 756.
- The Lord's Prayer, 136.
- Mixed Language Poetry, 78.
- Memory Technique, 327.
- 861Metric Writing, 223.
- Cowper’s letter to Newton, 223.
- Disraeli’s Tale of Alvoy, 224.
- Example in Irving’s New York, 224.
- Involuntary versification in the scriptures, 228.
- Johnson on involuntary metre, 229.
- Kemble and Siddons, 229.
- Lincoln’s second inaugural, 229.
- Nelly’s funeral, 225.
- Niagara, 227.
- Night, 227.
- Unintentional rhymes of prosers, 228.
- Misquotes, 266.
- Single-syllable words, 98.
- Power of short words, 102.
- Muslim Wisdom, 508.
- Much in Little, 823.
- Name of God, 127.
- Nothing new under the sun, 375.
- Ærial navigation, 382.
- Anæsthesia, 383.
- Attraction of gravitation, 390.
- Auscultation and Percussion, 392.
- Boomerang, the, 389.
- Circulation of the blood, 382.
- Discovery of America, predictions of, 393.
- Early invention of rifling, 390.
- Magnetic telegraph, foreshadowings of, 375.
- Steam-power, first discoveries of, 378.
- Stereoscope, the, 393.
- Table-moving and alphabet-rapping, 391.
- Origin of Familiar Things, 331.
- All Fools’ day, 332.
- American flag, 355.
- Bottled ale, 343.
- Blue stocking, 366.
- Brother Jonathan, 356.
- Bumper, 340.
- Cards, 336.
- Cock fighting, 364.
- Dollar-mark, 357.
- Drinking healths, 346.
- Dun, 340.
- Earliest newspapers, 372.
- Feather in one’s cap, 346.
- First doctors, 368.
- Flag of England, 365.
- Foolscap paper, 366.
- Friction matches, 365.
- Humbug, 340.
- India-rubber, 364.
- Kicking the bucket, 340.
- La Marseillaise, 350.
- Mind your P’s and Q’s, 331.
- News, 372.
- Nine tailors make a man, 346.
- Old Hundred, 349.
- Order of the garter, 345.
- Over the left, 339.
- 862Pasquinades, 341.
- Postpaid envelopes, 349.
- Potato, the, 343.
- Royal saying, 340.
- Signature of the cross, 348.
- Skedaddle, 366.
- Stockings, 344.
- Sub rosa, 338.
- Tarring and feathering, 344.
- Turkish crescent, 348.
- Turncoat, 364.
- Uncle Sam, 357.
- Various inventions and customs, 358.
- Viz., 347.
- Word Book, 346.
- Yankee Doodle, 353.
- O.S. and N.S., 325.
- Palindromes, 59.
- Parallel Texts, 640.
- Puns, 155.
- Ben, the sailor, 162.
- Book-larceny, 164.
- Classical puns and mottoes, 172.
- Court-fool’s pun on Laud, 181.
- Dr. Johnson’s pun, 160.
- Epitaph on an old horse, 165.
- Erskine’s toast, 160.
- Holmes on Achilles, 162.
- Grand scheme of emigration, 166.
- Marionettes, 168.
- Miss-nomers, the, 180.
- Mottoes of English peerage, 174.
- Old joke versified, 161.
- Perilous practice of punning, 167.
- Plaint of the old pauper, 163.
- Printer’s epitaph, 161.
- Pungent chapter, 157.
- Russian double entendre, 171.
- Sheridan’s compliment, 162.
- Short road to wealth, 159.
- Sonnet, 168.
- Sticky, 162.
- Swift’s Latin puns, 169.
- Sydney Smith’s pun, 160.
- Tom Moore, 161.
- To my nose, 163.
- Top and bottom, 161.
- Unconscious puns, 171.
- Vegetable girl, the, 164.
- Whiskers vs. razor, 162.
- Winter, 160.
- Women, 162.
- Jeux de Mots, 175.
- Persian Poetry, excerpts from, 511.
- Beauty’s prerogative, 511.
- Broken hearts, 511.
- Caliph and Satan, 513.
- Double plot, 512.
- Earth an illusion, 511.
- Folly for one’s self, 512.
- Fortune and worth, 511.
- From Mirtsa Schaffy, 512.
- Generous man, to a, 511.
- Heaven an echo of earth, 511.
- Impossibility, the, 512.
- 863Moral atmosphere, a, 511.
- Proud humility, 512.
- Sober drunkenness, 512.
- Wine-drinker’s metaphors, 512.
- World’s unappreciation, the, 513.
- Personal Stories and Memories, 763.
- André Major, 767.
- André and Arnold, 768.
- Bonaparte, name in Greek, 764.
- Cromwell, Oliver, 776.
- Elizabeth, Queen, 774.
- Flamsteed, the astronomer, 769.
- Franklin’s wife, 766.
- Lafayette’s republicanism, 764.
- Luther, 771.
- Nelson’s sang-froid, 769.
- Pope’s skull, 779.
- Porson, 781.
- Shakspeare’s orthodoxy, 776.
- Talleyrandiana, 780.
- Washington’s dignity, 763.
- Wickliffe’s ashes, 779.
- Mockups, 699.
- Air cushions, 702.
- Cat in the adage, 702.
- Charge of Light Brigade, 700.
- Cinderella’s slipper, 699.
- Consequential damages, 705.
- Cork-legs, 702.
- Curtain lectures, 700.
- Excommunication, 706.
- Falls of Lanark, 706.
- Faust legends, 701.
- Franklin, Turgot’s epigraph on, 707.
- Know-Nothings, the, 709.
- Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence, 708.
- Napoleon I., 706.
- Oldest proverb, 699.
- Old ballads, 715.
- Original Shylock, 705.
- Pilgrim’s Progress, original of, 710.
- Plagiarism, great literary, 715.
- Pope’s bull against the comet, 703.
- Proverb misascribed to Defoe 713.
- Robinson Crusoe: who wrote it, 712.
- Scandinavian skull-cups, 714.
- Shakspeare said it first, 699.
- Swapping horses, 703.
- Trade-unions, 704.
- Use of language, 714.
- Wandering Jew, 716.
- Wooden nutmegs, 703.
- Puritan Oddities, 150.
- Puzzles, 290.
- Bonapartean cypher, 292.
- Book of riddles, 299.
- Canning’s riddle, 294.
- Case for the lawyers, 293
- Chinese tea-song, 298.
- Cowper’s riddle, 294.
- Curiosities of cipher, 301.
- Death and life, 298.
- Galileo’s logograph, 297.
- Newton’s riddle, 294.
- Number of the beast, 297.
- Persian riddles, 298.
- Prize enigma, 294.
- Prophetic distich, 296.
- Quincy’s comparison, 295.
- Rebus, the, 299.
- Singular intermarriages, 296.
- What is it? 299.
- Wilberforce’s puzzle, 301.
- 864Why It Matters, 310.
- Rebellious Rhyming, 534.
- The sexes, 501.
- Sonnets, 551.
- Tall Writing, 212.
- Anatomist to his dulcinea, 221.
- Borde’s prologue, 215.
- Burlesque of Dr. Johnson’s style, 217.
- Chemical valentine, 220.
- Clear as mud, 218.
- Domicile erected by John, 212.
- Foote’s farrago, 216.
- From the Curiosities of Advertising, 213.
- From the Curiosities of the Post-office, 214.
- Indignant letter, 219.
- Intramural æstivation, 220.
- Mad poet, the, 216.
- Newspaper eulogy, 218.
- Ode to Spring, 221.
- Pristine proverbs for precocious pupils, 222.
- Spanish play-bill, 215.
- Transcendentalism, definition of, 212.
- Innovative Achievements, 395.
- Valentine's Day, 544.
- Burns, verses of, 546.
- Cardiac effusion, 547.
- Colored man’s valentine, 549.
- Cryptographic correspondence, 544.
- Digby to Archabella, 548.
- Egyptian serenade, 549.
- Lover to his sweetheart, 547.
- Macaronic, 548.
- Macaulay’s valentine, 545.
- Moore, verses of, 549.
- Strategic love-letter, 544.
- Teutonic alliteration, 546.
- Written in sympathetic ink, 544.
- Weather Insights, 317.
1. The relative proportions of the letters, in the formation of words, have been pretty accurately determined, as follows:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The relative proportions of the letters used in forming words have been quite accurately determined, as follows:—
A | 85 |
B | 16 |
C | 30 |
D | 44 |
E | 120 |
F | 25 |
G | 17 |
H | 64 |
I | 80 |
J | 4 |
K | 8 |
L | 40 |
M | 30 |
N | 80 |
O | 80 |
P | 17 |
Q | 5 |
R | 62 |
S | 80 |
T | 90 |
U | 34 |
V | 12 |
W | 20 |
X | 4 |
Y | 20 |
Z | 2 |
2. Now known to have been written by Miss Catherine Fanshawe.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Now recognized as having been written by Miss Catherine Fanshawe.
3. The Sandwich Island alphabet has twelve letters; the Burmese, nineteen; the Italian, twenty; the Bengalese, twenty-one; the Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldee, and Samaritan, twenty-two each; the French, twenty-three; the Greek, twenty-four; the Latin, twenty-five; the German, Dutch, and English, twenty-six each; the Spanish and Sclavonic, twenty-seven each; the Arabic, twenty-eight; the Persian and Coptic, thirty-two; the Georgian, thirty-five; the Armenian, thirty-eight; the Russian, forty-one; the Muscovite, forty-three; the Sanscrit and Japanese, fifty; the Ethiopic and Tartarian, two hundred and two each.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The Sandwich Island alphabet has twelve letters; Burmese has nineteen; Italian has twenty; Bengali has twenty-one; Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldee, and Samaritan each have twenty-two; French has twenty-three; Greek has twenty-four; Latin has twenty-five; German, Dutch, and English each have twenty-six; Spanish and Slavonic each have twenty-seven; Arabic has twenty-eight; Persian and Coptic have thirty-two; Georgian has thirty-five; Armenian has thirty-eight; Russian has forty-one; Muscovite has forty-three; Sanskrit and Japanese each have fifty; Ethiopic and Tartarian each have two hundred and two.
4. Tristram Shandy.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Tristram Shandy.
5. Meaning in substance, Purify the mind as well as the body.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Basically, cleanse both your mind and your body.
6. The truth of this circumstance was confirmed by Mr. Hoffman in the course of a conversation upon that and similar topics several years afterward.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Mr. Hoffman confirmed the truth of this situation during a conversation about that and similar topics several years later.
7. In a collection of proverbs published in 1594, we find, “Dieu mesure le vent à la brebis tondue,” and Herbert has in his Jacula Prudentum, “To a close shorn sheep God gives wind by measure.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.In a collection of sayings published in 1594, we find, “God assesses the wind for the sheared sheep.,” and Herbert has in his Jacula Prudentum, “To a closely shorn sheep, God gives wind by measure.”
8. A London periwig-maker once had a sign upon which was painted Absalom suspended from the branches of the oak by his hair, and underneath the following couplet:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.A London wig-maker once had a sign featuring Absalom hanging from the branches of an oak tree by his hair, with the following couplet underneath:—
9.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.
10. See also Prescott’s Conquest of Mexico, Vol. I. Bk. II. Chap. 4; and Stephens’ Incidents of Travel in Yucatan, Vol. II. Chap. 20.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.See also Prescott’s Conquest of Mexico, Volume I, Book II, Chapter 4; and Stephens’ Incidents of Travel in Yucatan, Volume II, Chapter 20.
11. The peculiar stateliness and dignity of Johnston’s style, when applied to the smaller concerns of life, makes, as will be seen from the above caricature, a very ludicrous appearance. A judicious imitation of his phraseology on trifling subjects was a favorite manner of attack among the critics. Erskine’s account of the Buxton baths is one of the most amusing. When several examples of this sort were shown to Johnson, at Edinburgh, he pronounced that of Lord Dreghorn the best: “but,” said he, “I could caricature my own style much better myself.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The unique elegance and seriousness of Johnston’s style, when applied to the minor aspects of life, creates a very funny contrast, as illustrated by the caricature above. Critics often enjoyed mimicking his way of speaking about trivial subjects. Erskine’s description of the Buxton baths is particularly entertaining. When several examples like this were presented to Johnson in Edinburgh, he declared Lord Dreghorn’s the best: “but,” he added, “I could parody my own style much better myself.”
12. Ogilvie.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Ogilvie.
13. Napoleon himself, (Voice from St. Helena,) when asked about the execution of Palm, said, “All that I recollect is, that Palm was arrested by order of Davoust, and, I believe, tried, condemned, and shot, for having, while the country was in possession of the French and under military occupation, not only excited rebellion among the inhabitants and urged them to rise and massacre the soldiers, but also attempted to instigate the soldiers themselves to refuse obedience to their orders and to mutiny against their generals. I believe that he met with a fair trial.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Napoleon himself, (Voice from St. Helena,) when asked about the execution of Palm, said, “All I remember is that Palm was arrested by Davoust’s orders and, I believe, tried, convicted, and shot for having, while the country was occupied by the French military, not only stirred up rebellion among the people and encouraged them to rise up and attack the soldiers but also tried to persuade the soldiers themselves to disobey their orders and rebel against their generals. I believe that he received a fair trial.”
14. Versified by Darwin.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Set to verse by Darwin.
15. Brother of Dr. Franklin.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Brother of Dr. Franklin.
16. On a long freestone slab, in Caery church, near Cardiff, Glamorgan co., Wales, is the following inscription:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.On a long stone slab in Caery church, near Cardiff, Glamorgan county, Wales, there is the following inscription:—
17. The following inscription on a medal of Louis XIV. illustrates the servile adulation of that period:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The following inscription on a medal of Louis XIV illustrates the subservient praise of that time:—
18.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.
19. The following madrigal was addressed to a Lancastrian lady, and accompanied with a white rose, during the opposition of the “White Rose” and “Red Rose” adherents of the houses of York and Lancaster:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The following madrigal was dedicated to a lady from Lancaster and came with a white rose, during the conflict between the “White Rose” and “Red Rose” supporters of the York and Lancaster families:—
20. Athol brose is a favorite Highland drink, composed of honey, whiskey, and water, although the proportion of the latter is usually so homœopathically minute as to be difficult of detection except by chemical or microscopical analysis. Possibly the Scotch aversion to injuring the flavor of their whiskey by dilution arises from a fact noted by N. P. Willis, that the water has tasted so strongly of sinners ever since the Flood.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Athol brose is a popular drink from the Highlands, made with honey, whiskey, and water, although the amount of water is usually so small that it's hard to notice unless analyzed chemically or microscopically. The Scotch might avoid diluting their whiskey because, as N. P. Willis observed, the water has had a strong taste of sin ever since the Flood.
21. Statue of Mr. Pitt, in Hanover Square.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Statue of Mr. Pitt, in Hanover Square.
22. This will remind some of our German readers of the following inscription:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.This will remind some of our German readers of the following inscription:—
Der, der den, der den, den 15ten März hier gesetzten Warnungspfahl, das niemand etwas in das Wasser werfen sollte, selbst in das Wasser geworfen hat, auzeigt, erhält zehn Thaler Belohnung.
Whoever reports the person who threw something into the water, despite the warning post set here on the 15th of March advising against it, will receive a reward of ten thalers.
(Whoever, him, who, on the 15th of March the here placed warning-post, that nobody should throw any thing into the water, has thrown the post itself into the water, denounces, receives a reward of Ten Dollars.)
(Whoever sees someone throw the warning post, placed here on March 15th, into the water after it clearly states that no one should throw anything in, can report it and will receive a reward of ten dollars.)
23. Irving gives the inscription thus:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Irving presents the inscription like this:—
24. This spot conceals the body of the renowned Columbus, whose name towers to the stars. Not satisfied with the known globe, he added to all the old an unknown world. Throughout all countries he distributed untold wealth, and gave to heaven unnumbered souls. He found an extended field for gospel missions, and conferred prosperity upon the reign of our monarchs.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.This place hides the remains of the famous Columbus, whose name reaches for the stars. Not content with the known world, he contributed to the old by discovering an unknown one. He spread incredible wealth across nations and led countless souls to heaven. He discovered vast opportunities for spreading the gospel and brought prosperity to the reign of our kings and queens.
25. A Nestor in discrimination, a Socrates in talent, a Virgil in poetic art; the earth covers him, the people mourn for him, Heaven possesses him.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.A wise judge, a talented thinker, a master of poetry; the earth holds him, people grieve for him, Heaven embraces him.
26. The original is in Greek, as follows:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.The original is in Greek, as follows:—
27. From Pope’s Epitaph on Fenton.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Pope’s Epitaph on Fenton.
28.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.
29. Meaning, All is well, or good news.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Meaning, Everything is fine, or great news.
30. Read from the bottom of the columns upward, commencing with the right.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Read from the bottom of the columns to the top, starting on the right.
31. Lucan’s Pharsalia. (Lib. 1.)
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Lucan's Pharsalia. (Book 1.)
32. Knives were formerly inscribed, by means of aqua-fortis, with short sentences in distich.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Knives were once engraved with short sentences in couplets using aqua fortis.
33. It is not a little singular that Mr. Arvine, in his excellent Cyclopædia, gives Milton and Dryden, while boys at school, equal credit for originating, in the same way, this beautiful idea.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.It's quite unusual that Mr. Arvine, in his outstanding Cyclopædia, gives Milton and Dryden equal credit for coming up with this beautiful idea as schoolboys, in the same way.
34. Mirabeau’s hasty temper is well known. “Monsieur le Compte,” said his secretary to him one day, “the thing you require is impossible.” “Impossible!” exclaimed Mirabeau, starting from his chair: “never again use that foolish word in my presence.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.Mirabeau’s quick temper is famous. “Sir,” his secretary said to him one day, “what you need is impossible.” “Impossible!” Mirabeau shouted, jumping up from his chair: “don’t ever use that foolish word in front of me again.”
35. A curious instance of bathos occurs in Dr. Mavor’s account of Cook’s voyages:—“The wild rocks raised their lofty summits till they were lost in the clouds, and the valleys lay covered with everlasting snow. Not a tree was to be seen, nor even a shrub big enough to make a tooth-pick.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.A curious moment of contrast appears in Dr. Mavor’s description of Cook’s voyages:—“The towering rocks reached high into the clouds, and the valleys were blanket-covered with eternal snow. There wasn't a tree in sight, not even a bush large enough to make a toothpick.”
36. The same expression will be found in the original draft of Mr. Jefferson. Congress changed the words “inherent and inalienable” to “certain inalienable.”
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.You’ll see the same wording in the original draft by Mr. Jefferson. Congress altered “inherent and inalienable” to “certain inalienable.”
37. “There was disorder in the mind—a disturbance of the intellect, something more than that which he was feigning; but if the question of insanity involve the question whether his mind ceased to be under the mastery of his will, assuredly there was no such aberration.” (Reed’s Lectures.)
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.“There was chaos in his mind—a disruption of thought, something beyond what he was pretending; but if the issue of insanity includes whether his mind was still controlled by his will, then there was definitely no such madness.” (Reed’s Lectures.)
Dr. Johnson goes further, declaring that Hamlet “does nothing which he might not have done with the reputation of sanity.”
Dr. Johnson goes further, stating that Hamlet “does nothing that he couldn't have done while still appearing sane.”
38. General W. H. Palfrey, of New Orleans, who served in Major Planche’s battalion, which was stationed from Dec. 23, 1814, to Jan. 15, 1815, in the centre of General Jackson’s line, makes the following statement, (dated April 5, 1859,) which is confirmed by Major Chotard, General Jackson’s Assistant Adjutant-General:—
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.General W. H. Palfrey from New Orleans, who was part of Major Planche’s battalion that was positioned from December 23, 1814, to January 15, 1815, in the middle of General Jackson’s line, provides the following statement (dated April 5, 1859), which is backed up by Major Chotard, General Jackson’s Assistant Adjutant-General:—
“About twenty or twenty-five bales of cotton were used in forming the embrasures of five or six batteries. There were four batteries of one piece of artillery, or howitzer, and four of two pieces, established at different points of the lines. Four bales were used at some of the batteries and six at others. None were used in any other portions of the works, which consisted of breast-works formed of earth thrown up from the inside, branches of trees, and rubbish. Each company threw up its own breastwork; and the more it was affected by the enemy’s artillery and Congreve rockets, the more industriously the soldiers toiled to strengthen it.”
“About twenty or twenty-five bales of cotton were used to create the openings for five or six batteries. There were four batteries with one piece of artillery, or howitzer, and four with two pieces, set up at different spots along the lines. Four bales were used at some of the batteries and six at others. None were used in any other parts of the works, which were made up of earth mounds created from digging inside, along with tree branches and debris. Each company built its own barricade; and the more damage it took from the enemy’s artillery and Congreve rockets, the harder the soldiers worked to reinforce it.”
39. Carlyle’s translation.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Carlyle's translation.
40. Related, or of my lineage.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Related, or from my family.
41. True.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. For real.
42. Byron’s Translation.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__. Byron's Translation.
43. A German journal proposed that the following lines should be translated into any other language, so that the number of lines and words should not exceed those in the original (twenty words).
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.A German journal suggested that these lines be translated into any other language, ensuring that the number of lines and words does not exceed the original (twenty words).
The English response thus complied with the conditions (seventeen words):—
The English response therefore met the requirements (seventeen words):—
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
- Did not change the various spellings of Shakspeare and Shakespeare.
- The publisher sometimes left aligned consecutive poems by different authors but usually did not (including the chapter on parallel construction). To be consistent all poems with citations have been centered.
- Changed “Grand Scheme of Education” to “Grand Scheme of Emigration” on p. x to agree with subheading on p. 166.
- Changed ‘Disraeli’s “Alray”’ to ‘Disraeli’s “Alroy”’ on p.xi.
- Changed “you sins” to “your sins” on p. 37.
- Changed “Fallout-it that the sky made me fall in love” to “Should it be that the sky made me fall in love?” on p. 86.
- Changed “hateful lax levied” to “hateful tax levied” on p. 189.
- Changed “takes else’s” to “takes someone else’s” on p. 216.
- Changed “D’Israeli’s Wondrous Tale of Alvoy” to “D’Israeli’s Wondrous Tale of Alroy” on p.224.
- Changed “Petri dish Andraæ Matthioli” to “Petri Andreæ Matthioli” on p. 310.
- Changed “of conversation was” to “of conversion was” on p. 407.
- Changed “to protects us” to “to protect us” on p. 434.
- Added a chapter heading “The Fancies of Fact.-Continued” on p. 435 per the Table of Contents.
- Changed “ΕΣΤΗΙΕ, ΠΙΝΕ, ΠΑΙΖΕ. Όπως και τα υπόλοιπα, αυτό δεν έχει αξία.” to “ΕΣΤΗΙΕ, ΠΙΝΕ, ΠΑΙΖΕ. ΌΣΩΣ ΤΑΛΛΑ ΤΟΥΤΟΥ ΟΥΚ ΑΞΙΑ.” on p. 596.
- Changed “ON TWO NEIGHBORING” to “ON THREE NEIGHBORING” on p. 604.
- Changed “Who doesn't love wine, women, and song?” to “Who doesn't love wine, women, and song?” on p. 771.
- Changed “Trom Kirk of Edinb.” to “Tron Kirk of Edinb.” on p. 804.
- Silently corrected typographical errors.
- Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.
- Text rotated 90 degrees is denoted by red text.
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