This is a modern-English version of The Fortunes of Nigel, originally written by Scott, Walter. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE FORTUNES OF NIGEL

By Sir Walter Scott



A Tale Which Holdeth Children From Play &
Old Men From The Chimney Corner —Sir Philip Sidney

cover










CONTENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS












INTRODUCTION

  But why should lordlings all our praise engross?
  Rise, honest man, and sing the Man of Ross.

                                        Pope
  But why should the nobility get all our praise?  
  Stand up, honest man, and celebrate the Man of Ross.

                                        Pope

Having, in the tale of the Heart of Mid-Lothian, succeeded in some degree in awakening an interest in behalf of one devoid of those accomplishments which belong to a heroine almost by right, I was next tempted to choose a hero upon the same unpromising plan; and as worth of character, goodness of heart, and rectitude of principle, were necessary to one who laid no claim to high birth, romantic sensibility, or any of the usual accomplishments of those who strut through the pages of this sort of composition, I made free with the name of a person who has left the most magnificent proofs of his benevolence and charity that the capital of Scotland has to display.

Having, in the story of the Heart of Mid-Lothian, somewhat succeeded in sparking interest for someone lacking the traits typical of a heroine, I was next tempted to select a hero with a similarly unconventional approach; and since character, kindness, and integrity were essential for someone who didn’t have high birth, romantic sensitivity, or the usual traits of those who parade through these types of stories, I took the liberty of using the name of a person who has left remarkable proof of their generosity and compassion that the capital of Scotland has to offer.

To the Scottish reader little more need be said than that the man alluded to is George Heriot. But for those south of the Tweed, it may be necessary to add, that the person so named was a wealthy citizen of Edinburgh, and the King's goldsmith, who followed James to the English capital, and was so successful in his profession, as to die, in 1624, extremely wealthy for that period. He had no children; and after making a full provision for such relations as might have claims upon him, he left the residue of his fortune to establish an hospital, in which the sons of Edinburgh freemen are gratuitously brought up and educated for the station to which their talents may recommend them, and are finally enabled to enter life under respectable auspices. The hospital in which this charity is maintained is a noble quadrangle of the Gothic order, and as ornamental to the city as a building, as the manner in which the youths are provided for and educated, renders it useful to the community as an institution. To the honour of those who have the management, (the Magistrates and Clergy of Edinburgh), the funds of the Hospital have increased so much under their care, that it now supports and educates one hundred and thirty youths annually, many of whom have done honour to their country in different situations.

To the Scottish reader, it’s enough to say that the man mentioned is George Heriot. However, for those south of the Tweed, it’s important to add that he was a wealthy citizen of Edinburgh and the King’s goldsmith who followed James to London. He was very successful in his career, dying in 1624 with considerable wealth for that time. He had no children and, after ensuring that any relatives with claims on him were taken care of, he left the rest of his fortune to establish a hospital. This institution provides free upbringing and education to the sons of Edinburgh freemen, preparing them for a future that suits their abilities and allowing them to enter life with respectable support. The hospital, a magnificent Gothic quadrangle, is as much an ornamental feature of the city as the way it nurtures and educates young men makes it a valuable community institution. To the credit of those who manage it—the Magistrates and Clergy of Edinburgh—the hospital’s funds have grown significantly under their care, allowing it to support and educate one hundred and thirty young men each year, many of whom have brought honor to their country in various roles.

The founder of such a charity as this may be reasonably supposed to have walked through life with a steady pace, and an observant eye, neglecting no opportunity of assisting those who were not possessed of the experience necessary for their own guidance. In supposing his efforts directed to the benefit of a young nobleman, misguided by the aristocratic haughtiness of his own time, and the prevailing tone of selfish luxury which seems more peculiar to ours, as well as the seductions of pleasure which are predominant in all, some amusement, or even some advantage, might, I thought, be derived from the manner in which I might bring the exertions of this civic Mentor to bear in his pupil's behalf. I am, I own, no great believer in the moral utility to be derived from fictitious compositions; yet, if in any case a word spoken in season may be of advantage to a young person, it must surely be when it calls upon him to attend to the voice of principle and self-denial, instead of that of precipitate passion. I could not, indeed, hope or expect to represent my prudent and benevolent citizen in a point of view so interesting as that of the peasant girl, who nobly sacrificed her family affections to the integrity of her moral character. Still however, something I hoped might be done not altogether unworthy the fame which George Heriot has secured by the lasting benefits he has bestowed on his country.

The founder of a charity like this is likely someone who navigated life with a steady pace and a keen eye, always ready to help those lacking the experience to guide themselves. While I suppose his efforts were aimed at benefiting a young nobleman, misled by the arrogance of his time and the rampant selfish luxury of our era, as well as the temptations of pleasure that affect everyone, I thought there might be some amusement or even some value in how I could portray this civic Mentor aiding his pupil. To be honest, I’m not a strong believer in the moral lessons that come from fictional works; however, if there's ever a time when a timely word can benefit a young person, it must be when it encourages them to listen to the voice of principle and self-control rather than reckless desire. I couldn't expect to showcase my wise and charitable citizen as compellingly as the peasant girl, who bravely sacrificed her family ties for the sake of her moral integrity. Still, I hoped to achieve something worthy of the reputation George Heriot has earned through the lasting benefits he has provided to his country.

It appeared likely, that out of this simple plot I might weave something attractive; because the reign of James I., in which George Heriot flourished, gave unbounded scope to invention in the fable, while at the same time it afforded greater variety and discrimination of character than could, with historical consistency, have been introduced, if the scene had been laid a century earlier. Lady Mary Wortley Montague has said, with equal truth and taste, that the most romantic region of every country is that where the mountains unite themselves with the plains or lowlands. For similiar reasons, it may be in like manner said, that the most picturesque period of history is that when the ancient rough and wild manners of a barbarous age are just becoming innovated upon, and contrasted, by the illumination of increased or revived learning, and the instructions of renewed or reformed religion. The strong contrast produced by the opposition of ancient manners to those which are gradually subduing them, affords the lights and shadows necessary to give effect to a fictitious narrative; and while such a period entitles the author to introduce incidents of a marvellous and improbable character, as arising out of the turbulent independence and ferocity, belonging to old habits of violence, still influencing the manners of a people who had been so lately in a barbarous state; yet, on the other hand, the characters and sentiments of many of the actors may, with the utmost probability, be described with great variety of shading and delineation, which belongs to the newer and more improved period, of which the world has but lately received the light.

It seemed likely that I could take this simple plot and turn it into something engaging because the era of James I, when George Heriot thrived, allowed for limitless creativity in storytelling. At the same time, it offered greater variety and depth of character than could have been realistically included if the setting were a century earlier. Lady Mary Wortley Montague aptly noted that the most romantic parts of any country are where the mountains meet the plains or lowlands. Similarly, it can be argued that the most visually interesting period in history is when the rough, wild customs of a barbaric age begin to change and clash with the enlightenment of renewed learning and the teachings of reformed religion. The stark contrast between old customs and those slowly replacing them creates the necessary light and shadow to enhance a fictional story. This era allows authors to introduce marvelous and improbable events arising from the turbulent independence and brutality of old violent habits that still affect the behaviors of a people recently emerged from barbarism. At the same time, the characters and feelings of many individuals can be accurately portrayed with great depth and nuance, reflecting the newer and more advanced period that the world has only recently begun to embrace.

The reign of James I. of England possessed this advantage in a peculiar degree. Some beams of chivalry, although its planet had been for some time set, continued to animate and gild the horizon, and although probably no one acted precisely on its Quixotic dictates, men and women still talked the chivalrous language of Sir Philip Sydney's Arcadia; and the ceremonial of the tilt-yard was yet exhibited, though it now only flourished as a Place de Carrousel. Here and there a high-spirited Knight of the Bath, witness the too scrupulous Lord Herbert of Cherbury, was found devoted enough to the vows he had taken, to imagine himself obliged to compel, by the sword's-point, a fellow-knight or squire to restore the top-knot of ribbon which he had stolen from a fair damsel;[Footnote: See Lord Herbert of Cherbury's Memoirs.] but yet, while men were taking each other's lives on such punctilios of honour, the hour was already arrived when Bacon was about to teach the world that they were no longer to reason from authority to fact, but to establish truth by advancing from fact to fact, till they fixed an indisputable authority, not from hypothesis, but from experiment.

The reign of James I of England had a unique advantage. Some remnants of chivalry, even though its era had long passed, still inspired and brightened the landscape. Although probably no one followed its idealistic principles exactly, people still spoke the chivalrous language of Sir Philip Sidney's Arcadia, and the ceremonies of the tilt-yard were still practiced, although they now only thrived as a Place de Carrousel. Here and there, a spirited Knight of the Bath, like the overly meticulous Lord Herbert of Cherbury, was devoted enough to his vows to feel he had to force a fellow knight or squire to return a ribbon he had stolen from a fair lady; [Footnote: See Lord Herbert of Cherbury's Memoirs.] yet, while men were taking each other's lives over such points of honor, the moment had already arrived when Bacon was about to show the world that they should no longer base their reasoning on authority but instead establish truth by moving from fact to fact until they established undeniable authority, not from theory, but from experiment.

The state of society in the reign of James I. was also strangely disturbed, and the license of a part of the community was perpetually giving rise to acts of blood and violence. The bravo of the Queen's day, of whom Shakspeare has given us so many varieties, as Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, Peto, and the other companions of Falstaff, men who had their humours, or their particular turn of extravaganza, had, since the commencement of the Low Country wars, given way to a race of sworders, who used the rapier and dagger, instead of the far less dangerous sword and buckler; so that a historian says on this subject, “that private quarrels were nourished, but especially between the Scots and English; and duels in every street maintained; divers sects and peculiar titles passed unpunished and unregarded, as the sect of the Roaring Boys, Bonaventors, Bravadors, Quarterors, and such like, being persons prodigal, and of great expense, who, having run themselves into debt, were constrained to run next into factions, to defend themselves from danger of the law. These received countenance from divers of the nobility; and the citizens, through lasciviousness consuming their estates, it was like that the number [of these desperadoes] would rather increase than diminish; and under these pretences they entered into many desperate enterprizes, and scarce any durst walk in the street after nine at night."[Footnote: history of the First Fourteen Years of King James's Reign. See Somers's Tracts, edited by Scott, vol. ii. p.266.]

The condition of society during James I's reign was notably chaotic, with some members of the community often causing acts of bloodshed and violence. The ruffians of the Queen's era, depicted by Shakespeare in characters like Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, Peto, and the other companions of Falstaff, who had their own quirks and unique styles, had been replaced since the start of the Low Country wars by a new breed of fighters armed with rapiers and daggers, rather than the less deadly sword and buckler. As one historian noted on this issue, “private disputes were common, especially between the Scots and English; duels occurred in every street, and various groups and distinctive names went unpunished and ignored, such as the Roaring Boys, Bonaventors, Bravadors, Quarterors, and others. These were extravagant individuals who had gotten into debt and were forced to join factions to protect themselves from legal trouble. They received support from some of the nobility, and as the citizens squandered their wealth on indulgence, it seemed likely that the number of these outlaws would grow rather than decline. Under these circumstances, they engaged in many reckless ventures, and hardly anyone dared to walk the streets after nine at night.”[Footnote: history of the First Fourteen Years of King James's Reign. See Somers's Tracts, edited by Scott, vol. ii. p.266.]

The same authority assures us farther, that “ancient gentlemen, who had left their inheritance whole and well furnished with goods and chattels (having thereupon kept good houses) unto their sons, lived to see part consumed in riot and excess, and the rest in possibility to be utterly lost; the holy state of matrimony made but a May-game, by which divers families had been subverted; brothel houses much frequented, and even great persons, prostituting their bodies to the intent to satisfy their lusts, consumed their substance in lascivious appetites. And of all sorts, such knights and gentlemen, as either through pride or prodigality—had consumed their substance, repairing to the city, and to the intent to consume their virtue also, lived dissolute lives; many of their ladies and daughters, to the intent to maintain themselves according to their dignity, prostituting their bodies in shameful manner. Ale-houses, dicing-houses, taverns, and places of iniquity, beyond manner abounding in most places.”

The same authority further assures us that “ancient gentlemen, who had left their inheritance intact and well stocked with goods (having maintained good households), witnessed part of it wasted in partying and excess, while the rest risked being completely lost; the sacred institution of marriage turned into a joke, leading to the downfall of many families; brothels were heavily frequented, and even prominent individuals sold their bodies to satisfy their desires, squandering their wealth on lustful cravings. Among them, certain knights and gentlemen, either through pride or extravagance—had exhausted their wealth, flocking to the city with the intention of losing their virtue as well, living indulgent lives; many of their ladies and daughters, in an effort to maintain their status, resorted to shameful acts of prostitution. Pubs, gambling dens, taverns, and places of vice were abundantly present in most areas.”

Nor is it only in the pages of a puritanical, perhaps a satirical writer, that we find so shocking and disgusting a picture of the coarseness of the beginning of the seventeenth century. On the contrary, in all the comedies of the age, the principal character for gaiety and wit is a young heir, who has totally altered the establishment of the father to whom he has succeeded, and, to use the old simile, who resembles a fountain, which plays off in idleness and extravagance the wealth which its careful parents painfully had assembled in hidden reservoirs.

Nor is it just in the pages of a strict, maybe even sarcastic writer that we see such a shocking and disgusting image of the coarseness of the early seventeenth century. On the contrary, in all the comedies of that time, the main character known for their humor and charm is a young heir who has completely changed the system set up by the father he has inherited from. To use an old analogy, he resembles a fountain that carelessly splashes away the wealth that his diligent parents painstakingly accumulated in hidden reserves.

And yet, while that spirit of general extravagance seemed at work over a whole kingdom, another and very different sort of men were gradually forming the staid and resolved characters, which afterwards displayed themselves during the civil wars, and powerfully regulated and affected the character of the whole English nation, until, rushing from one extreme to another, they sunk in a gloomy fanaticism the splendid traces of the reviving fine arts.

And yet, while this overall extravagance seemed to be influencing the entire kingdom, another group of very different men was slowly shaping the serious and determined characters that later emerged during the civil wars. These characters significantly influenced the nature of the entire English nation until, swinging from one extreme to another, they fell into a dark fanaticism that overshadowed the vibrant revival of the fine arts.

From the quotations which I have produced, the selfish and disgusting conduct of Lord Dalgarno will not perhaps appear overstrained; nor will the scenes in Whitefriars and places of similar resort seem too highly coloured. This indeed is far from being the case. It was in James I.'s reign that vice first appeared affecting the better classes in its gross and undisguised depravity. The entertainments and amusements of Elizabeth's time had an air of that decent restraint which became the court of a maiden sovereign; and, in that earlier period, to use the words of Burke, vice lost half its evil by being deprived of all its grossness. In James's reign, on the contrary, the coarsest pleasures were publicly and unlimitedly indulged, since, according to Sir John Harrington, the men wallowed in beastly delights; and even ladies abandoned their delicacy and rolled about in intoxication. After a ludicrous account of a mask, in which the actors had got drunk, and behaved themselves accordingly, he adds, “I have much marvelled at these strange pageantries, and they do bring to my recollection what passed of this sort in our Queen's days, in which I was sometimes an assistant and partaker: but never did I see such lack of good order and sobriety as I have now done. The gunpowder fright is got out of all our heads, and we are going on hereabout as if the devil was contriving every man should blow up himself by wild riot, excess, and devastation of time and temperance. The great ladies do go well masqued; and indeed, it be the only show of their modesty to conceal their countenance, but alack, they meet with such countenance to uphold their strange doings, that I marvel not at aught that happens."[Footnote: Harrington's Nugae Antique, vol. ii. p. 352. For the gross debauchery of the period, too much encouraged by the example of the monarch, who was, in other respects, neither without talent nor a good-natured disposition, see Winwood's Memorials, Howell's Letters, and other Memorials of the time; but particularly, consult the Private Letters and Correspondence of Steenie, alias Buckingham, with his reverend Dad and Gossip, King James, which abound with the grossest as well as the most childish language. The learned Mr. D'Israeli, in an attempt to vindicate the character of James, has only succeeded in obtaining for himself the character of a skilful and ingenious advocate, without much advantage to his royal client]

From the quotes I've shared, the selfish and disgusting behavior of Lord Dalgarno doesn’t seem exaggerated; nor do the scenes in Whitefriars and other similar places appear too dramatized. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It was during James I's reign that vice first started to affect the upper classes with its blatant and extreme depravity. The entertainment and leisure activities of Elizabeth's era had a sense of decent restraint fitting for the court of a single queen. In that earlier time, to quote Burke, vice lost much of its harm by shedding its brutality. In contrast, during James's reign, the crassest pleasures were indulged in publicly and without limits, as Sir John Harrington noted that men reveled in beastly delights; even women let go of their decorum and became drunk to excess. After he humorously described a masquerade where the performers got drunk and acted accordingly, he remarked, “I have often wondered about these strange displays, which remind me of what took place during our Queen's reign, where I sometimes assisted and participated: but I never witnessed such a lack of order and sobriety as I have now. The gunpowder scare has left our minds, and we’re going about here as if the devil is ensuring every man blows himself up with wild partying, excess, and squandering of time and moderation. The highborn ladies are well-masked; indeed, it’s their only show of modesty to hide their faces, but unfortunately, they encounter such approval for their odd behavior that I’m not surprised by anything that happens.”[Footnote: Harrington's Nugae Antique, vol. ii. p. 352. For the crude debauchery of the period, too much encouraged by the example of the monarch, who was otherwise somewhat talented and good-natured, see Winwood's Memorials, Howell's Letters, and other Memorials of the time; but in particular, consult the Private Letters and Correspondence of Steenie, alias Buckingham, with his reverend Dad and Gossip, King James, which are filled with both the most crude and childish language. The learned Mr. D'Israeli, in an attempt to defend James's character, has only managed to present himself as a skilled and clever advocate, without much benefit to his royal client.]

Such being the state of the court, coarse sensuality brought along with it its ordinary companion, a brutal degree of undisguised selfishness, destructive alike of philanthropy and good breeding; both of which, in their several spheres, depend upon the regard paid by each individual to the interest as well as the feelings of others. It is in such a time that the heartless and shameless man of wealth and power may, like the supposed Lord Dalgarno, brazen out the shame of his villainies, and affect to triumph in their consequences, so long as they were personally advantageous to his own pleasures or profit.

Given the state of the court, crude sensuality came along with its usual partner, a harsh level of blatant selfishness, which was harmful to both philanthropy and good manners; both of which, in their own ways, rely on how much each individual considers the interests as well as the feelings of others. It is during such times that the heartless and unashamed wealthy and powerful individual can, like the supposed Lord Dalgarno, boldly flaunt the disgrace of his wrongdoings and seem to revel in their outcomes, as long as they were personally beneficial to his own enjoyment or gain.

Alsatia is elsewhere explained as a cant name for Whitefriars, which, possessing certain privileges of sanctuary, became for that reason a nest of those mischievous characters who were generally obnoxious to the law. These privileges were derived from its having been an establishment of the Carmelites, or White Friars, founded says Stow, in his Survey of London, by Sir Patrick Grey, in 1241. Edward I. gave them a plot of ground in Fleet Street, to build their church upon. The edifice then erected was rebuilt by Courtney, Earl of Devonshire, in the reign of Edward. In the time of the Reformation the place retained its immunities as a sanctuary, and James I. confirmed and added to them by a charter in 1608. Shadwell was the first author who made some literary use of Whitefriars, in his play of the Squire of Alsatia, which turns upon the plot of the Adelphi of Terence.

Alsatia is explained elsewhere as a slang term for Whitefriars, which, due to having certain sanctuary privileges, became a hideout for people who generally didn’t follow the law. These privileges came from its history as a community of the Carmelites, or White Friars, founded by Sir Patrick Grey in 1241, according to Stow's Survey of London. Edward I. granted them a piece of land in Fleet Street to build their church. The structure that was built was later rebuilt by Courtney, Earl of Devonshire, during Edward’s reign. During the Reformation, the place kept its sanctuary privileges, and James I. confirmed and expanded them with a charter in 1608. Shadwell was the first author to use Whitefriars in literature, in his play The Squire of Alsatia, which is based on the plot of Terence's Adelphi.

In this old play, two men of fortune, brothers, educate two young men, (sons to the one and nephews to the other,) each under his own separate system of rigour and indulgence. The elder of the subjects of this experiment, who has been very rigidly brought up, falls at once into all the vices of the town, is debauched by the cheats and bullies of Whitefriars, and, in a word, becomes the Squire of Alsatia. The poet gives, as the natural and congenial inhabitants of the place, such characters as the reader will find in the note. [Footnote: “Cheatly, a rascal, who by reason of debts dares not stir out of Whitefriars, but there inveigles young heirs of entail, and helps them to goods and money upon great disadvantages, is bound for them, and shares with them till he undoes them. A lewd, impudent, debauched fellow, very expert in the cant about town.

In this old play, two wealthy brothers raise two young men, (the sons of one and the nephews of the other,) each following their own strict or lenient approach. The older of these young men, who has been raised with extreme discipline, quickly falls into all the vices of the city, gets corrupted by the con artists and thugs of Whitefriars, and essentially becomes the Squire of Alsatia. The poet presents, as the typical and fitting residents of the area, the kinds of characters that the reader will find in the notes. [Footnote: “Cheatly, a scoundrel who, due to his debts, cannot leave Whitefriars but instead lures young heirs of estates into trouble, helping them obtain goods and money under terrible conditions, is responsible for their downfall and shares in their ruin. A wicked, brash, debauched individual, very skilled in the local slang.”]

“Shamwell, cousin to the Belfords, who, being ruined by Cheatly, is made a decoy-duck for others, not daring to stir out of Alsatia, where he lives. Is bound with Cheatly for heirs, and lives upon them a dissolute debauched life.

“Shamwell, a cousin of the Belfords, who has been ruined by Cheatly, is now used as a decoy for others, not daring to leave Alsatia, where he lives. He is tied to Cheatly for heirs and leads a reckless, indulgent life off of them.”

“Captain Hackum, a blockheaded bully of Alsatia, a cowardly, impudent, blustering fellow, formerly a sergeant in Flanders, who has run from his colours, and retreated into Whitefriars for a very small debt, where by the Alsatians he is dubb'd a captain, marries one that lets lodgings, sells cherry-brandy, and is a bawd.

“Captain Hackum, a brainless thug from Alsatia, a cowardly, arrogant blowhard, who used to be a sergeant in Flanders, has deserted his post and hidden away in Whitefriars over a tiny debt. There, the locals call him a captain. He marries a woman who rents out rooms, sells cherry brandy, and is a madam.”

“Scrapeall a hypocritical, repeating, praying, psalm-singing, precise fellow, pretending to great piety; a godly knave, who joins with Cheatly, and supplies young heirs with goods, and money.”—Dramatis Personae to the Squire of Alsatia, SHADWELL'S Works, vol. iv.] The play, as we learn from the dedication to the Earl of Dorset and Middlesex, was successful above the author's expectations, “no comedy these many years having filled the theatre so long together. And I had the great honour,” continues Shadwell, “to find so many friends, that the house was never so full since it was built as upon the third day of this play, and vast numbers went away that could not be admitted.” [Footnote: Dedication to the Squire of Alsatia, Shadwell's Works, vol. iv.] From the Squire of Alsatia the author derived some few hints, and learned the footing on which the bullies and thieves of the Sanctuary stood with their neighbours, the fiery young students of the Temple, of which some intimation is given in the dramatic piece.

“Scrapeall, a hypocritical, repetitive, praying, psalm-singing, exact guy, pretending to be deeply religious; a godly crook, who teams up with Cheatly and supplies young heirs with goods and cash.” —Dramatis Personae to the Squire of Alsatia, SHADWELL'S Works, vol. iv.] The play, as we learn from the dedication to the Earl of Dorset and Middlesex, exceeded the author's expectations, “no comedy in many years having kept the theatre so full for so long. And I had the great honor,” continues Shadwell, “to find so many friends that the house was never as packed since it was built as on the third day of this play, and many people had to leave because they couldn't get in.” [Footnote: Dedication to the Squire of Alsatia, Shadwell's Works, vol. iv.] From the Squire of Alsatia, the author got a few ideas and learned how the bullies and thieves of the Sanctuary interacted with their neighbors, the fiery young students of the Temple, which is hinted at in the play.

Such are the materials to which the author stands indebted for the composition of the Fortunes of Nigel, a novel, which may be perhaps one of those that are more amusing on a second perusal, than when read a first time for the sake of the story, the incidents of which are few and meagre.

Such are the sources the author used to create the Fortunes of Nigel, a novel that might actually be more enjoyable on a second reading than when read the first time just for the plot, which has few and sparse events.

The Introductory Epistle is written, in Lucio's phrase, “according to the trick,” and would never have appeared had the writer meditated making his avowal of the work. As it is the privilege of a masque or incognito to speak in a feigned voice and assumed character, the author attempted, while in disguise, some liberties of the same sort; and while he continues to plead upon the various excuses which the introduction contains, the present acknowledgment must serve as an apology for a species of “hoity toity, whisky frisky” pertness of manner, which, in his avowed character, the author should have considered as a departure from the rules of civility and good taste.

The Introductory Epistle is written, in Lucio's words, “according to the trick,” and would never have been published if the writer had thought about admitting to the work. Since it's the nature of a masque or incognito to speak in a false voice and take on a fake identity, the author tried, while in disguise, to take some similar liberties; and while he keeps making various excuses found in the introduction, this acknowledgment has to serve as an apology for a kind of “hoity toity, whisky frisky” attitude, which, in his true identity, the author should have seen as going against the rules of decency and good taste.

ABBOTSFORD.

ABBOTSFORD.

1st July, 1831.

1 July 1831.










INTRODUCTORY EPISTLE

CAPTAIN CLUTTERBUCK TO THE REVEREND DR. DRYASDUST

DEAR SIR,

DEAR SIR,

I readily accept of, and reply to the civilities with which you have been pleased to honour me in your obliging letter, and entirely agree with your quotation, of “Quam bonum et quam jucundum!” We may indeed esteem ourselves as come of the same family, or, according to our country proverb, as being all one man's bairns; and there needed no apology on your part, reverend and dear sir, for demanding of me any information which I may be able to supply respecting the subject of your curiosity. The interview which you allude to took place in the course of last winter, and is so deeply imprinted on my recollection, that it requires no effort to collect all its most minute details.

I gladly accept and respond to the kind words you've shared in your thoughtful letter, and I completely agree with your quote, “Quam bonum et quam jucundum!” We can truly view ourselves as part of the same family, or, as our local saying goes, as all being one man's children; and you don’t need to apologize, my dear sir, for asking me for any information I can provide on the topic that interests you. The meeting you mentioned happened last winter, and it’s so vividly etched in my memory that it takes no effort to recall even the smallest details.

You are aware that the share which I had in introducing the Romance, called THE MONASTERY, to public notice, has given me a sort of character in the literature of our Scottish metropolis. I no longer stand in the outer shop of our bibliopolists, bargaining for the objects of my curiosity with an unrespective shop-lad, hustled among boys who come to buy Corderies and copy-books, and servant girls cheapening a pennyworth of paper, but am cordially welcomed by the bibliopolist himself, with, “Pray, walk into the back-shop, Captain. Boy, get a chair for Captain Clutterbuck. There is the newspaper, Captain—to-day's paper;” or, “Here is the last new work—there is a folder, make free with the leaves;” or, “Put it in your pocket and carry it home;” or, “We will make a bookseller of you, sir, and you shall have it at trade price.” Or, perhaps if it is the worthy trader's own publication, his liberality may even extend itself to—“Never mind booking such a trifle to you, sir—it is an over-copy. Pray, mention the work to your reading friends.” I say nothing of the snug well-selected literary party arranged round a turbot, leg of five-year-old mutton, or some such gear, or of the circulation of a quiet bottle of Robert Cockburn's choicest black—nay, perhaps, of his new ones. All these are comforts reserved to such as are freemen of the corporation of letters, and I have the advantage of enjoying them in perfection. But all things change under the sun; and it is with no ordinary feelings of regret, that, in my annual visits to the metropolis, I now miss the social and warm-hearted welcome of the quick-witted and kindly friend who first introduced me to the public; who had more original wit than would have set up a dozen of professed sayers of good things, and more racy humour than would have made the fortune of as many more. To this great deprivation has been added, I trust for a time only, the loss of another bibliopolical friend, whose vigorous intellect, and liberal ideas, have not only rendered his native country the mart of her own literature, but established there a Court of Letters, which must command respect, even from those most inclined to dissent from many of its canons. The effect of these changes, operated in a great measure by the strong sense and sagacious calculations of an individual, who knew how to avail himself, to an unhoped-for extent, of the various kinds of talent which his country produced, will probably appear more clearly to the generation which shall follow the present.

You know that my role in bringing the book called THE MONASTERY to the public's attention has earned me a certain reputation in the literature of our Scottish capital. I’m no longer stuck in the front of our bookstores, haggling over items of interest with an indifferent shop assistant, jostled by kids looking to buy stationery and servant girls negotiating for a bit of paper. Instead, I’m warmly welcomed by the bookseller himself, with comments like, “Please, come into the back, Captain. Boy, get a chair for Captain Clutterbuck. Here’s the newspaper, Captain—today’s edition;” or, “Here’s the latest release—feel free to browse through it;” or, “Take it home with you;” or, “We’re going to turn you into a bookseller, sir, and you can have it at wholesale price.” If it happens to be the bookseller's own publication, his generosity might even extend to saying, “Don't worry about charging you for such a small thing, sir—it's an excess copy. Please mention the work to your reading friends.” I won’t even get into the cozy, well-selected literary gatherings around a turbot, a leg of five-year-old mutton, or something similar, or the circulation of a fine bottle of Robert Cockburn's best black—maybe even his new ones. All these are comforts reserved for those recognized as members of the literary community, and I enjoy them fully. But everything changes under the sun; and it brings me genuine regret that, during my annual visits to the capital, I now miss the friendly and warm-hearted welcome of the clever and generous friend who first introduced me to the public. He had more original wit than could support a dozen professional joke-tellers and more vibrant humor than could make fortunes for many others. Alongside this significant loss, I also feel the absence of another bookseller friend, whose strong intellect and progressive ideas have made his homeland a marketplace for its own literature and established a respected Court of Letters there—even among those most likely to disagree with some of its principles. The impact of these changes, largely driven by the keen insights and smart strategies of one individual who skillfully harnessed the diverse talents of his country, will likely become more apparent to future generations.

I entered the shop at the Cross, to enquire after the health of my worthy friend, and learned with satisfaction, that his residence in the south had abated the rigour of the symptoms of his disorder. Availing myself, then, of the privileges to which I have alluded, I strolled onward in that labyrinth of small dark rooms, or crypts, to speak our own antiquarian language, which form the extensive back-settlements of that celebrated publishing-house. Yet, as I proceeded from one obscure recess to another, filled, some of them with old volumes, some with such as, from the equality of their rank on the shelves, I suspected to be the less saleable modern books of the concern, I could not help feeling a holy horror creep upon me, when I thought of the risk of intruding on some ecstatic bard giving vent to his poetical fury; or it might be, on the yet more formidable privacy of a band of critics, in the act of worrying the game which they had just run down. In such a supposed case, I felt by anticipation the horrors of the Highland seers, whom their gift of deuteroscopy compels to witness things unmeet for mortal eye; and who, to use the expression of Collins,

I walked into the shop at the Cross to check on my good friend's health and was pleased to find out that his time in the south had eased the severity of his illness. Taking advantage of the privileges I mentioned earlier, I continued exploring the maze of small dark rooms, or crypts, as we might refer to them in our own antiquarian terminology, which make up the vast back offices of that famous publishing house. However, as I moved from one hidden corner to another, some filled with old books and others with what I suspected were the less popular modern titles, I couldn't shake off a sense of unease. I imagined I might stumble upon some impassioned poet lost in their creative fury, or, even worse, a group of critics dissecting the latest literary catch. In such a scenario, I could almost feel the same dread as the Highland seers, who, because of their unusual gift, are forced to witness things not meant for human eyes; and who, to quote Collins,

     ——“heartless, oft, like moody madness, stare,
     To see the phantom train their secret work prepare.”
 
 ——“Heartless, often, like unpredictable madness, stare,  
To watch the ghostly train get ready for their hidden tasks.”

Still, however, the irresistible impulse of an undefined curiosity drove me on through this succession of darksome chambers, till, like the jeweller of Delhi in the house of the magician Bennaskar, I at length reached a vaulted room, dedicated to secrecy and silence, and beheld, seated by a lamp, and employed in reading a. blotted revise, [Footnote: The uninitiated must be informed, that a second proof-sheet is so called.] the person, or perhaps I should rather say the Eidolon, or representative Vision of the AUTHOR OF WAVERLEY! You will not be surprised at the filial instinct which enabled me at once to acknowledge the features borne by this venerable apparition, and that I at once bended the knee, with the classical salutation of, Salve, magne parens! The vision, however, cut me short, by pointing to a seat, intimating at the same time, that my presence was not expected, and that he had something to say to me.

Still, the strong urge of an undefined curiosity pushed me on through this series of dark chambers until, like the jeweler from Delhi in the house of the magician Bennaskar, I finally reached a vaulted room dedicated to secrecy and silence. There, sitting by a lamp and reading a blotted revise, [Footnote: The uninitiated must be informed, that a second proof-sheet is so called.] was the person, or perhaps I should say the Eidolon, or representative Vision of the AUTHOR OF WAVERLEY! You won’t be surprised that the instinct to recognize familiar features led me to immediately acknowledge this venerable figure, and I knelt with the classical greeting, Salve, magne parens! However, the vision stopped me by pointing to a seat, indicating that my presence wasn’t expected and that he had something to tell me.

I sat down with humble obedience, and endeavoured to note the features of him with whom I now found myself so unexpectedly in society. But on this point I can give your reverence no satisfaction; for, besides the obscurity of the apartment, and the fluttered state of my own nerves, I seemed to myself overwhelmed by a sense of filial awe, which prevented my noting and recording what it is probable the personage before me might most desire to have concealed. Indeed, his figure was so closely veiled and wimpled, either with a mantle, morning-gown, or some such loose garb, that the verses of Spenser might well have been applied—

I sat down with a sense of humble respect and tried to take in the features of the person I found myself with so unexpectedly. But I can't provide you any clear details about this, because the dim lighting of the room and my own nerves being on edge made it tough. I felt a strong sense of reverence that kept me from noticing and remembering what I guessed the person might have wanted to keep hidden. In fact, their figure was so closely wrapped in a mantle, morning gown, or some loose clothing that the lines from Spenser could easily apply—

    “Yet, certes, by her face and physnomy,
     Whether she man or woman only were,
     That could not any creature well descry.”
 
“Yet, indeed, by her face and appearance,  
Whether she was a man or a woman,  
No one could clearly tell.”

I must, however, go on as I have begun, to apply the masculine gender; for, notwithstanding very ingenious reasons, and indeed something like positive evidence, have been offered to prove the Author of Waverley to be two ladies of talent, I must abide by the general opinion, that he is of the rougher sex. There are in his writings too many things

I have to continue as I started, using masculine pronouns; because, despite some clever arguments and even what seems like solid proof suggesting that the author of Waverley is actually two talented women, I have to stick with the widespread belief that he is male. His writings contain too many things

    “Quae maribus sola tribuuntur,”
 
"Which are granted only to men,"

to permit me to entertain any doubt on that subject. I will proceed, in the manner of dialogue, to repeat as nearly as I can what passed betwixt us, only observing, that in the course of the conversation, my timidity imperceptibly gave way under the familiarity of his address; and that, in the concluding part of our dialogue, I perhaps argued with fully as much confidence as was beseeming.

to allow me to have any doubts about that topic. I will continue, in a conversational style, to recount as closely as I can what took place between us, just noting that as the conversation went on, my nervousness gradually faded thanks to the ease of his tone; and that by the end of our dialogue, I might have argued with as much confidence as was appropriate.

Author of Waverley. I was willing to see you, Captain Clutterbuck, being the person of my family whom I have most regard for, since the death of Jedediah Cleishbotham; and I am afraid I may have done you some wrong, in assigning to you The Monastery as a portion of my effects. I have some thoughts of making it up to you, by naming you godfather to this yet unborn babe—(he indicated the proof-sheet with his finger)—But first, touching The Monastery—How says the world—you are abroad and can learn?

Author of Waverley. I wanted to see you, Captain Clutterbuck, as you are the family member I care about the most since the death of Jedediah Cleishbotham. I’m worried that I might have wronged you by giving you The Monastery as part of my belongings. I’m considering making it up to you by asking you to be the godfather to this yet-to-be-born baby—(he pointed to the proof-sheet with his finger)—But first, about The Monastery—What’s the word out there—you’re out in the world and can find out?

Captain Clutterbuck. Hem! hem!—The enquiry is delicate—I have not heard any complaints from the Publishers.

Captain Clutterbuck. Ahem!—The inquiry is sensitive—I haven’t received any complaints from the publishers.

Author. That is the principal matter; but yet an indifferent work is sometimes towed on by those which have left harbour before it, with the breeze in their poop.—What say the Critics?

Author. That's the main point; however, sometimes a mediocre piece gets dragged along by those that set sail before it, riding the wind at their backs. — What do the critics say?

Captain. There is a general—feeling—that the White Lady is no favourite.

Captain. There's a general feeling that the White Lady isn't exactly a favorite.

Author. I think she is a failure myself; but rather in execution than conception. Could I have evoked an esprit follet, at the same time fantastic and interesting, capricious and kind; a sort of wildfire of the elements, bound by no fixed laws, or motives of action; faithful and fond, yet teazing and uncertain——

Author. I believe she’s a failure too, but more in how it was carried out than in the idea itself. If only I could have brought to life a esprit follet, both fantastic and intriguing, unpredictable yet affectionate; a kind of wild spark of nature, unrestricted by any strict rules or reasons for action; loyal and loving, but also playful and unpredictable—

Captain. If you will pardon the interruption, sir, I think you are describing a pretty woman.

Captain. If you don't mind me interrupting, sir, I believe you're talking about an attractive woman.

Author. On my word, I believe I am. I must invest my elementary spirits with a little human flesh and blood—they are too fine-drawn for the present taste of the public.

Author. Honestly, I think I am. I need to give my basic ideas a bit of human depth—they're too subtle for what the public likes right now.

Captain. They object, too, that the object of your Nixie ought to have been more uniformly noble—Her ducking the priest was no Naiad-like amusement.

Captain. They also argue that the focus of your Nixie should have been more consistently noble—her splashing the priest was no playful Naiad act.

Author. Ah! they ought to allow for the capriccios of what is, after all, but a better sort of goblin. The bath into which Ariel, the most delicate creation of Shakspeare's imagination, seduces our jolly friend Trinculo, was not of amber or rose-water. But no one shall find me rowing against the stream. I care not who knows it—I write for general amusement; and, though I never will aim at popularity by what I think unworthy means, I will not, on the other hand, be pertinacious in the defence of my own errors against the voice of the public.

Author. Ah! they should consider the whims of what is, after all, just a different type of spirit. The bath that Ariel, the most delicate creation of Shakespeare's imagination, lures our cheerful friend Trinculo into wasn't filled with amber or rose water. But no one will catch me rowing against the current. I don't care who knows it—I write for everyone's enjoyment; and while I won't try to gain popularity through what I consider unworthy means, I also won’t stubbornly defend my own mistakes against public opinion.

Captain. You abandon, then, in the present work—(looking, in my turn, towards the proof-sheet)—the mystic, and the magical, and the whole system of signs, wonders, and omens? There are no dreams, or presages, or obscure allusions to future events?

Captain. So, in this work, you’re giving up the mystical, the magical, and all the signs, wonders, and omens? There are no dreams, warnings, or vague hints about what’s to come?

Author. Not a Cock-lane scratch, my son—not one bounce on the drum of Tedworth—not so much as the poor tick of a solitary death-watch in the wainscot. All is clear and above board—a Scots metaphysician might believe every word of it.

Author. Not a Cock-lane scratch, my son—not one bang on the drum of Tedworth—not even the faint tick of a lonely death-watch in the wall. Everything is straightforward— a Scottish philosopher might believe every word of it.

Captain. And the story is, I hope, natural and probable; commencing strikingly, proceeding naturally, ending happily—like the course of a famed river, which gushes from the mouth of some obscure and romantic grotto—then gliding on, never pausing, never precipitating its course, visiting, as it were, by natural instinct, whatever worthy subjects of interest are presented by the country through which it passes—widening and deepening in interest as it flows on; and at length arriving at the final catastrophe as at some mighty haven, where ships of all kinds strike sail and yard?

Captain. And the story is, I hope, natural and believable; starting off with an impact, flowing naturally, and wrapping up happily—like the journey of a famous river that springs from the entrance of some hidden and enchanting cave—then moving on, never stopping, never rushing its path, visiting, as if guided by instinct, whatever intriguing sights it encounters in the land it travels through—growing in depth and interest as it goes along; and finally reaching the ultimate conclusion like arriving at a grand harbor, where all kinds of ships lower their sails and drop anchor?

Author. Hey! hey! what the deuce is all this? Why, 'tis Ercles' vein, and it would require some one much more like Hercules than I, to produce a story which should gush, and glide, and never pause, and visit, and widen, and deepen, and all the rest on't. I should be chin-deep in the grave, man, before I had done with my task; and, in the meanwhile, all the quirks and quiddities which I might have devised for my reader's amusement, would lie rotting in my gizzard, like Sancho's suppressed witticisms, when he was under his master's displeasure.—There never was a novel written on this plan while the world stood.

Author. Hey! What's all this about? This is totally over the top, and it would take someone way more like Hercules than me to come up with a story that flows, never stops, explores, expands, deepens, and all that jazz. I'd be six feet under before I'd finish my job, and in the meantime, all the clever ideas I could have come up with for your entertainment would just sit there, unused, like Sancho's jokes when he was in trouble with his master. No novel has ever been written this way in the history of the world.

Captain. Pardon me—Tom Jones.

Captain. Excuse me—Tom Jones.

Author. True, and perhaps Amelia also. Fielding had high notions of the dignity of an art which he may be considered as having founded. He challenges a comparison between the Novel and the Epic. Smollett, Le Sage, and others, emancipating themselves from the strictness of the rules he has laid down, have written rather a history of the miscellaneous adventures which befall an individual in the course of life, than the plot of a regular and connected epopeia, where every step brings us a point nearer to the final catastrophe. These great masters have been satisfied if they amused the reader upon the road; though the conclusion only arrived because the tale must have an end—just as the traveller alights at the inn, because it is evening.

Author. True, and maybe Amelia too. Fielding had great ideas about the importance of an art that he can be seen as having created. He invites a comparison between the Novel and the Epic. Smollett, Le Sage, and others, breaking free from the strict rules he established, wrote more of a history of the random adventures that happen to a person throughout life, rather than following the plot of a traditional and connected epic, where each step brings us closer to the final disaster. These great writers were content if they entertained the reader along the way; the ending only came because the story needed to wrap up—just like a traveler stops at an inn because it’s getting dark.

Captain. A very commodious mode of travelling, for the author at least. In short, sir, you are of opinion with Bayes—“What the devil does the plot signify, except to bring in fine things?”

Captain. A very comfortable way to travel, at least for the author. In short, sir, you agree with Bayes—“What does the plot even matter, if not to showcase great things?”

Author. Grant that I were so, and that I should write with sense and spirit a few scenes unlaboured and loosely put together, but which had sufficient interest in them to amuse in one corner the pain of body; in another, to relieve anxiety of mind; in a third place, to unwrinkle a brow bent with the furrows of daily toil; in another, to fill the place of bad thoughts, or to suggest better; in yet another, to induce an idler to study the history of his country; in all, save where the perusal interrupted the discharge of serious duties, to furnish harmless amusement,—might not the author of such a work, however inartificially executed, plead for his errors and negligences the excuse of the slave, who, about to be punished for having spread the false report of a victory, saved himself by exclaiming—“Am I to blame, O Athenians, who have given you one happy day?”

Author. Imagine if I could, and if I were to write with meaning and energy a few simple scenes that are easy to read, yet still interesting enough to distract from physical pain in one place, ease mental stress in another, smooth a brow lined with daily struggles in yet another, replace negative thoughts, or inspire someone to learn about their country’s history; in every instance, except where reading interrupts important responsibilities, to provide harmless entertainment—couldn’t the creator of such a work, no matter how clumsily crafted, use the excuse of a slave who, about to face punishment for spreading false news of a victory, saved himself by saying, “Am I at fault, O Athenians, for giving you one joyful day?”

Captain. Will your goodness permit me to mention an anecdote of my excellent grandmother?

Captain. Would you allow me to share a story about my amazing grandmother?

Author. I see little she can have to do with the subject, Captain Clutterbuck.

Author. I don't think she has much to do with the topic, Captain Clutterbuck.

Captain. It may come into our dialogue on Bayes's plan.—The sagacious old lady—rest her soul!—was a good friend to the church, and could never hear a minister maligned by evil tongues, without taking his part warmly. There was one fixed point, however, at which she always abandoned the cause of her reverend protege—it was so soon as she learned he had preached a regular sermon against slanderers and backbiters.

Captain. It might come up in our conversation about Bayes's plan. The wise old lady—may she rest in peace!—was a good friend to the church and couldn’t stand to hear anyone speak badly about a minister without jumping to his defense. However, there was one point at which she would always give up on her beloved protege—as soon as she found out he had delivered a proper sermon against slanderers and gossipers.

Author. And what is that to the purpose?

Author. And what does that have to do with anything?

Captain. Only that I have heard engineers say, that one may betray the weak point to the enemy, by too much ostentation of fortifying it.

Captain. I've only heard engineers say that you might reveal a weak point to the enemy if you show too much effort in strengthening it.

Author. And, once more I pray, what is that to the purpose?

Author. And again I ask, what does that have to do with anything?

Captain. Nay, then, without farther metaphor, I am afraid this new production, in which your generosity seems willing to give me some concern, will stand much in need of apology, since you think proper to begin your defence before the case is on trial.-The story is hastily huddled up, I will venture a pint of claret.

Captain. No, let's be straightforward; I'm afraid this new work, which you seem eager to give me some credit for, will need quite a bit of justification, since you're choosing to defend it before it's even been evaluated. The story feels rushed, and I’d bet a glass of wine on it.

Author. A pint of port, I suppose you mean?

Author. You mean a pint of port, right?

Captain. I say of claret—good claret of the Monastery. Ah, sir, would you but take the advice of your friends, and try to deserve at least one-half of the public favour you have met with, we might all drink Tokay!

Captain. I'm talking about claret—good claret from the Monastery. Ah, sir, if only you would take your friends' advice and try to earn at least half of the public favor you've received, we could all enjoy Tokay!

Author. I care not what I drink, so the liquor be wholesome.

Author. I don't care what I drink, as long as the drink is safe.

Captain. Care for your reputation, then,—for your fame.

Captain. Take care of your reputation, then—for your fame.

Author. My fame?—I will answer you as a very ingenious, able, and experienced friend, being counsel for the notorious Jem MacCoul, replied to the opposite side of the bar, when they laid weight on his client's refusing to answer certain queries, which they said any man who had a regard for his reputation would not hesitate to reply to. “My client,” said he-by the way, Jem was standing behind him at the time, and a rich scene it was so unfortunate as to have no regard for his reputation; and I should deal very uncandidly with the Court, should I say he had any that was worth his attention."—I am, though from very different reasons, in Jem's happy state of indifference. Let fame follow those who have a substantial shape. A shadow—and an impersonal author is nothing better—can cast no shade.

Author. My fame?—I’ll reply like a clever, capable, and experienced friend of the infamous Jem MacCoul, who answered the opposing side when they questioned his client’s refusal to respond to certain questions, claiming that anyone who cared about their reputation wouldn’t hesitate to answer. “My client,” he said—by the way, Jem was right behind him at the time, and it was quite the scene—“is unfortunately not concerned about his reputation; and I would be dishonest with the Court if I claimed he had one worth worrying about.”—I, too, am in Jem’s fortunate state of indifference, though for very different reasons. Let fame pursue those who have a solid presence. A shadow—and an impersonal author is nothing more—can’t cast any shade.

Captain. You are not now, perhaps, so impersonal as here-tofore. These Letters to the Member for the University of Oxford—Author. Show the wit, genius, and delicacy of the author, which I heartily wish to see engaged on a subject of more importance; and show, besides, that the preservation of my character of incongnito has engaged early talent in the discussion of a curious question of evidence. But a cause, however ingeniously pleaded, is not therefore gained. You may remember, the neatly-wrought chain of circumstantial evidence, so artificially brought forward to prove Sir Philip Francis's title to the Letters of Junius, seemed at first irrefragable; yet the influence of the reasoning has passed away, and Junius, in the general opinion, is as much unknown as ever. But on this subject I will not be soothed or provoked into saying one word more. To say who I am not, would be one step towards saying who I am; and as I desire not, any more than a certain justice of peace mentioned by Shenstone, the noise or report such things make in the world, I shall continue to be silent on a subject, which, in my opinion, is very undeserving the noise that has been made about it, and still more unworthy of the serious employment of such ingenuity as has been displayed by the young letter-writer.

Captain. You're probably not as distant now as you used to be. These Letters to the Member for the University of Oxford—Author. Highlight the wit, talent, and sensitivity of the author, which I sincerely hope will be directed towards a more significant topic; they also indicate that maintaining my identity as incongnito has drawn early talent into the discussion of an intriguing question of evidence. However, even a case that is cleverly argued doesn’t necessarily mean it’s won. You might recall the well-crafted chain of circumstantial evidence that was so elaborately presented to prove Sir Philip Francis's claim to the Letters of Junius; it initially seemed undeniable, yet the power of that reasoning has faded, and Junius remains as anonymous as ever in the public’s view. But on this matter, I won't be swayed or provoked into saying anything further. Identifying who I'm not would lead to revealing who I am; and since I wish to avoid, just like a certain justice of the peace mentioned by Shenstone, the noise or attention these matters create in the world, I will continue to stay silent on a topic that, in my opinion, doesn't deserve the fuss that has been made about it, and is even less worthy of the serious effort that the young letter-writer has demonstrated.

Captain. But allowing, my dear sir, that you care not for your personal reputation, or for that of any literary person upon whose shoulders your faults may be visited, allow me to say, that common gratitude to the public, which has received you so kindly, and to the critics, who have treated you so leniently, ought to induce you to bestow more pains on your story.

Captain. But even if you don’t care about your personal reputation, or that of any writer who might bear the brunt of your mistakes, let me say that a basic sense of gratitude to the public, who has welcomed you so warmly, and to the critics who have judged you so gently, should motivate you to put more effort into your story.

Author. I do entreat you, my son, as Dr. Johnson would have said, “free your mind from cant.” For the critics, they have their business, and I mine; as the nursery proverb goes—

Author. I beg you, my son, as Dr. Johnson might have said, “clear your mind of nonsense.” The critics have their job, and I have mine; as the nursery proverb goes—

“The children in Holland take pleasure in making What the children in England take pleasure in breaking.”

“The kids in Holland enjoy making what the kids in England enjoy breaking.”

I am their humble jackal, too busy in providing food for them, to have time for considering whether they swallow or reject it.—To the public, I stand pretty nearly in the relation of the postman who leaves a packet at the door of an individual. If it contains pleasing intelligence, a billet from a mistress, a letter from an absent son, a remittance from a correspondent supposed to be bankrupt,—the letter is acceptably welcome, and read and re-read, folded up, filed, and safely deposited in the bureau. If the contents are disagreeable, if it comes from a dun or from a bore, the correspondent is cursed, the letter is thrown into the fire, and the expense of postage is heartily regretted; while all the time the bearer of the dispatches is, in either case, as little thought on as the snow of last Christmas. The utmost extent of kindness between the author and the public which can really exist, is, that the world are disposed to be somewhat indulgent to the succeeding works of an original favourite, were it but on account of the habit which the public mind has acquired; while the author very naturally thinks well of their taste, who have so liberally applauded his productions. But I deny there is any call for gratitude, properly so called, either on one side or the other.

I’m their humble servant, too busy providing for them to think about whether they like it or not. To the public, I’m like a postman who drops off a package at someone’s door. If it contains good news, a note from a lover, a letter from a long-distance child, or money from a presumably broke friend, the letter is welcomed, read and re-read, folded, saved, and stored safely away. If it has bad news, if it’s from a bill collector or someone annoying, the sender gets cursed, the letter gets tossed into the fire, and they regret the cost of postage; meanwhile, the messenger of the news is thought of as little as last Christmas’s snow. The most kindness that can actually exist between the author and the public is that people are somewhat lenient with the later works of a beloved creator, simply because that’s the habit the public has developed; while the author naturally thinks highly of the taste of those who have praised their work so generously. But I argue there’s no real reason for gratitude, properly speaking, on either side.

Captain. Respect to yourself, then, ought to teach caution.

Captain. You should respect yourself, which should teach you to be careful.

Author. Ay, if caution could augment the chance of my success. But, to confess to you the truth, the works and passages in which I have succeeded, have uniformly been written with the greatest rapidity; and when I have seen some of these placed in opposition with others, and commended as more highly finished, I could appeal to pen and standish, that the parts in which I have come feebly off, were by much the more laboured. Besides, I doubt the beneficial effect of too much delay, both on account of the author and the public. A man should strike while the iron is hot, and hoist sail while the wind is fair. If a successful author keep not the stage, another instantly takes his ground. If a writer lie by for ten years ere he produces a second work, he is superseded by others; or, if the age is so poor of genius that this does not happen, his own reputation becomes his greatest obstacle. The public will expect the new work to be ten times better than its predecessor; the author will expect it should be ten times more popular, and 'tis a hundred to ten that both are disappointed.

Author. If only being careful could increase my chances of success. But honestly, the pieces I've done well on were written quickly. Whenever I compare them to others that are praised as more polished, I can genuinely say that the parts where I struggled took a lot more effort. Plus, I doubt that taking too much time helps either the author or the audience. A person should act while the opportunity is there and set sail while the wind is favorable. If a successful author doesn't stay relevant, someone else will take their place immediately. If a writer waits ten years to put out a second work, they’ll be outpaced by others; or if there’s a lack of talent in the age, their own reputation becomes a hurdle. The audience will expect the new work to be way better than the last one; the author will think it ought to be a lot more popular, and the odds are stacked against both of them.

Captain. This may justify a certain degree of rapidity in publication, but not that which is proverbially said to be no speed. You should take time at least to arrange your story.

Captain. This might explain a bit of urgency in publishing, but it doesn’t warrant the kind of speed that’s typically said to be no speed. You should at least take some time to organize your story.

Author. That is a sore point with me, my son. Believe me, I have not been fool enough to neglect ordinary precautions. I have repeatedly laid down my future work to scale, divided it into volumes and chapters, and endeavoured to construct a story which I meant should evolve itself gradually and strikingly, maintain suspense, and stimulate curiosity; and which, finally, should terminate in a striking catastrophe. But I think there is a demon who seats himself on the feather of my pen when I begin to write, and leads it astray from the purpose. Characters expand under my hand; incidents are multiplied; the story lingers, while the materials increase; my regular mansion turns out a Gothic anomaly, and the work is closed long before I have attained the point I proposed.

Author. That's a sensitive topic for me, my son. Trust me, I haven't been foolish enough to ignore basic precautions. I've carefully planned my future work, broken it down into volumes and chapters, and tried to create a story that unfolds gradually and impressively, builds suspense, and sparks curiosity; ultimately, I intended for it to end with a dramatic conclusion. But I think there's a trickster that sits on the tip of my pen when I start to write and steers it away from my original goal. Characters develop beyond my control; incidents multiply; the story drags on while the content keeps growing; my neat house becomes a Gothic mess, and the work wraps up long before I reach the point I intended.

Captain. Resolution and determined forbearance might remedy that evil.

Captain. Resolute action and determined patience might fix that problem.

Author. Alas! my dear sir, you do not know the force of paternal affection. When I light on such a character as Bailie Jarvie, or Dalgetty, my imagination brightens, and my conception becomes clearer at every step which I take in his company, although it leads me many a weary mile away from the regular road, and forces me leap hedge and ditch to get back into the route again. If I resist the temptation, as you advise me, my thoughts become prosy, flat, and dull; I write painfully to myself, and under a consciousness of flagging which makes me flag still more; the sunshine with which fancy had invested the incidents, departs from them, and leaves every thing dull and gloomy. I am no more the same author I was in my better mood, than the dog in a wheel, condemned to go round and round for hours, is like the same dog merrily chasing his own tail, and gambolling in all the frolic of unrestrained freedom. In short, sir, on such occasions, I think I am bewitched.

Author. Oh dear sir, you really don't understand the power of a father's love. When I come across characters like Bailie Jarvie or Dalgetty, my imagination sparks, and my ideas become clearer with every step I take alongside them, even though it often leads me many tiring miles off the main path and forces me to jump over hedges and ditches to get back on track. If I resist the urge, as you suggest, my thoughts turn boring, flat, and dull; I write with great difficulty, and that awareness of struggle only makes me struggle more. The vibrant sunshine that imagination brought to those events fades away, leaving everything dull and dreary. I'm not the same author I was in a happier mood, just like a dog on a wheel, stuck going round and round for hours, is nothing like the same dog joyfully chasing its tail and playing freely. In short, sir, in those moments, I feel like I'm under a spell.

Captain. Nay, sir, if you plead sorcery, there is no more to be said—he must needs go whom the devil drives. And this, I suppose, sir, is the reason why you do not make the theatrical attempt to which you have been so often urged?

Captain. No, sir, if you claim it’s magic, there’s nothing more to discuss—he must go where the devil leads him. And I guess, sir, this is why you haven’t tried the performance that you've been encouraged to do so many times?

Author. It may pass for one good reason for not writing a play, that I cannot form a plot. But the truth is, that the idea adopted by too favourable judges, of my having some aptitude for that department of poetry, has been much founded on those scraps of old plays, which, being taken from a source inaccessible to collectors, they have hastily considered the offspring of my mother-wit. Now, the manner in which I became possessed of these fragments is so extraordinary, that I cannot help telling it to you.

Author. It might be seen as a valid reason for not writing a play that I can’t come up with a plot. But the truth is, the belief by some overly generous critics that I have a knack for that kind of poetry is largely based on those bits of old plays, which, coming from a source that collectors can’t access, they quickly assumed were the product of my natural talent. The way I ended up with these fragments is so unusual that I can’t resist sharing the story with you.

You must know, that, some twenty years since, I went down to visit an old friend in Worcestershire, who had served with me in the——Dragoons.

You should know that about twenty years ago, I went to visit an old friend in Worcestershire who had served with me in the——Dragoons.

Captain. Then you have served, sir?

Captain. So you’ve served, sir?

Author. I have—or I have not, which signifies the same thing—Captain is a good travelling name.—I found my friend's house unexpectedly crowded with guests, and, as usual, was condemned—the mansion being an old one—to the haunted apartment. I have, as a great modern said, seen too many ghosts to believe in them, so betook myself seriously to my repose, lulled by the wind rustling among the lime-trees, the branches of which chequered the moonlight which fell on the floor through the diamonded casement, when, behold, a darker shadow interposed itself, and I beheld visibly on the floor of the apartment—

Author. I have—or I haven't, which means the same thing—Captain is a good travel name. I found my friend's house unexpectedly packed with guests, and, as usual, I was stuck—the mansion being old—in the haunted room. As a great modern said, I've seen too many ghosts to believe in them, so I tried to rest, lulled by the wind rustling through the lime trees, the branches of which cast shadows on the floor from the moonlight that filtered in through the diamond-pane window. Suddenly, a darker shadow appeared, and I could see clearly on the floor of the room—

Captain. The White Lady of Avenel, I suppose?—You have told the very story before.

Captain. The White Lady of Avenel, I guess?—You’ve already shared that story.

Author. No—I beheld a female form, with mob-cap, bib, and apron, sleeves tucked up to the elbow, a dredging-box in the one hand, and in the other a sauce-ladle. I concluded, of course, that it was my friend's cook-maid walking in her sleep; and as I knew he had a value for Sally, who could toss a pancake with any girl in the country, I got up to conduct her safely to the door. But as I approached her, she said,—“Hold, sir! I am not what you take me for;”—words which seemed so opposite to the circumstances, that I should not have much minded them, had it not been for the peculiarly hollow sound in which they were uttered.—“Know, then,” she said, in the same unearthly accents, “that I am the spirit of Betty Barnes.”—“Who hanged herself for love of the stage-coachman,” thought I; “this is a proper spot of work!”—“Of that unhappy Elizabeth or Betty Barnes, long cook-maid to Mr. Warburton, the painful collector, but ah! the too careless custodier, of the largest collection of ancient plays ever known—of most of which the titles only are left to gladden the Prolegomena of the Variorum Shakspeare. Yes, stranger, it was these ill-fated hands That consigned to grease and conflagration the scores of small quartos, which, did they now exist, would drive the whole Roxburghe Club out of their senses—it was these unhappy pickers and stealers that singed fat fowls and wiped dirty trenchers with the lost works of Beaumont and Fletcher, Massinger, Jonson, Webster—what shall I say?—even of Shakspeare himself!”

Author. No—I saw a woman, wearing a mob-cap, bib, and apron, with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, a dredging-box in one hand and a sauce-ladle in the other. I assumed it was my friend's cook-maid sleepwalking; since I knew he valued Sally, who could flip a pancake better than anyone else in the country, I got up to help her safely to the door. But as I got closer, she said, “Wait, sir! I’m not what you think I am;”—her words sounded so strange given the situation that I might have dismissed them if it weren't for the eerily hollow way she said them. “Know this,” she continued in the same ghostly tone, “I am the spirit of Betty Barnes.” “Who hanged herself out of love for the stage-coachman,” I thought; “this is quite the situation!”—“Of that unfortunate Elizabeth or Betty Barnes, who was a long-time cook-maid for Mr. Warburton, the miserable collector, but sadly, the careless keeper of the largest collection of ancient plays ever known—most of which only their titles remain to grace the introduction of the Variorum Shakespeare. Yes, stranger, it was these ill-fated hands that sent countless small quartos to grease and flames, which, if they still existed, would have driven the whole Roxburghe Club mad—it was these wretched hands that singed fatty birds and wiped dirty plates with the lost works of Beaumont and Fletcher, Massinger, Jonson, Webster—what can I say?—even of Shakespeare himself!”

Like every dramatic antiquary, my ardent curiosity after some play named in the Book of the Master of Revels, had often been checked by finding the object of my research numbered amongst the holocaust of victims which this unhappy woman had sacrificed to the God of Good Cheer. It is no wonder then, that, like the Hermit of Parnell,

Like every dramatic history buff, my intense curiosity about some play listed in the Book of the Master of Revels had often been halted by discovering that what I was looking for was counted among the countless victims this unfortunate woman had offered up to the God of Good Cheer. It's no surprise then, that, like the Hermit of Parnell,

      “I broke the bands of fear, and madly cried,
       'You careless jade!'—But scarce the words began,
       When Betty brandish'd high her saucing-pan.”
 
      “I shook off my fear and yelled out,
       'You careless jerk!'—But before I could finish,
       Betty raised her frying pan high.”

“Beware,” she said, “you do not, by your ill-timed anger, cut off the opportunity I yet have to indemnify the world for the errors of my ignorance. In yonder coal-hole, not used for many a year, repose the few greasy and blackened fragments of the elder Drama which were not totally destroyed. Do thou then”—Why, what do you stare at, Captain? By my soul, it is true; as my friend Major Longbow says, “What should I tell you a lie for?”

“Be careful,” she said, “by letting your bad timing and anger get in the way, you might close off my chance to make up for the mistakes born from my ignorance. In that coal hole, which hasn’t been used in years, lie the few greasy and charred pieces of the old Drama that weren’t completely destroyed. So you should—” Why are you staring at me, Captain? I swear it’s true; as my friend Major Longbow says, “Why would I lie to you?”

Captain. Lie, sir! Nay, Heaven forbid I should apply the word to a person so veracious. You are only inclined to chase your tail a little this morning, that's all. Had you not better reserve this legend to form an introduction to “Three Recovered Dramas,” or so?

Captain. No way, sir! Heaven forbid I call someone so truthful a liar. You're just a bit off track this morning, that's all. Wouldn't it be better to save this story for an introduction to “Three Recovered Dramas” or something like that?

Author. You are quite right—habit's a strange thing, my son. I had forgot whom I was speaking to. Yes, Plays for the closet, not for the stage—

Author. You’re absolutely right—habits are strange, my son. I lost track of who I was talking to. Yes, plays for the closet, not for the stage—

Captain. Right, and so you are sure to be acted; for the managers, while thousands of volunteers are desirous of serving them, are wonderfully partial to pressed men.

Captain. Right, and you can be sure you’ll be involved; because the managers, despite having thousands of volunteers eager to help, really prefer to rely on conscripted individuals.

Author. I am a living witness, having been, like a second Laberius, made a dramatist whether I would or not. I believe my muse would be Terry-fied into treading the stage, even if I should write a sermon.

Author. I’m a living witness, having been, like a second Laberius, turned into a playwright whether I wanted to be or not. I believe my muse would be Terry-fied into stepping onto the stage, even if I were to write a sermon.

Captain. Truly, if you did, I am afraid folks might make a farce of it; and, therefore, should you change your style, I still advise a volume of dramas like Lord Byron's.

Captain. Honestly, if you did, I'm worried people might make a joke out of it; so, if you decide to switch up your style, I still recommend a collection of plays like Lord Byron's.

Author. No, his lordship is a cut above me—I won't run my horse against his, if I can help myself. But there is my friend Allan has written just such a play as I might write myself, in a very sunny day, and with one of Bramah's extra-patent pens. I cannot make neat work without such appurtenances.

Author. No, his lordship is way above me—I won’t race my horse against his if I can avoid it. But my friend Allan has written a play that’s just like something I could write on a very sunny day, and with one of Bramah’s specially-designed pens. I can’t produce neat work without those kinds of tools.

Captain. Do you mean Allan Ramsay?

Captain. Are you talking about Allan Ramsay?

Author. No, nor Barbara Allan either. I mean Allan Cunningham, who has just published his tragedy of Sir Marmaduke Maxwell, full of merry-making and murdering, kissing and cutting of throats, and passages which lead to nothing, and which are very pretty passages for all that. Not a glimpse of probability is there about the plot, but so much animation in particular passages, and such a vein of poetry through the whole, as I dearly wish I could infuse into my Culinary Remains, should I ever be tempted to publish them. With a popular impress, people would read and admire the beauties of Allan—as it is, they may perhaps only note his defects—or, what is worse, not note him at all.—But never mind them, honest Allan; you are a credit to Caledonia for all that.—There are some lyrical effusions of his, too, which you would do well to read, Captain. “It's hame, and it's hame,” is equal to Burns.

Author. No, and neither is Barbara Allan. I mean Allan Cunningham, who has just released his tragedy of Sir Marmaduke Maxwell, filled with partying and killing, kissing and throat-slitting, and moments that lead nowhere, yet are still very lovely. The plot has no hint of plausibility, but there's so much energy in certain parts, and a beautiful poetic thread running throughout, that I really wish I could inject into my Culinary Remains if I ever decide to publish them. If it had a popular touch, people would read and appreciate Allan's beauties—right now, they might only notice his flaws—or, even worse, not pay attention to him at all.—But don't worry about them, dear Allan; you're a credit to Scotland regardless.—He also has some lyrical works that you should definitely check out, Captain. “It's hame, and it's hame,” is on par with Burns.

Captain. I will take the hint. The club at Kennaquhair are turned fastidious since Catalan! visited the Abbey. My “Poortith Cauld” has been received both poorly and coldly, and “the Banks of Bonnie Doon” have been positively coughed down—Tempora mutantur.

Captain. I get the message. The club at Kennaquhair has become picky ever since Catalan! visited the Abbey. My “Poortith Cauld” hasn’t gone over well, and “the Banks of Bonnie Doon” have been absolutely dismissed—Tempora mutantur.

Author. They cannot stand still, they will change with all of us. What then?

Author. They can't stay the same; they'll evolve with all of us. So, what now?

                 “A man's a man for a' that.”
 
“A man's a man for all that.”

But the hour of parting approaches.

But the time to say goodbye is coming.

Captain. You are determined to proceed then in your own system? Are you aware that an unworthy motive may be assigned for this rapid succession of publication? You will be supposed to work merely for the lucre of gain.

Captain. So, you're set on sticking to your own approach? Do you realize that people might think there's a less-than-honorable reason behind this quick release of information? They might assume you're just in it for the money.

Author. Supposing that I did permit the great advantages which must be derived from success in literature, to join with other motives in inducing me to come more frequently before the public,—that emolument is the voluntary tax which the public pays for a certain species of literary amusement—it is extorted from no one, and paid, I presume, by those only who can afford it, and who receive gratification in proportion to the expense. If the capital sum which these volumes have put into circulation be a very large one, has it contributed to my indulgences only? or can I not say to hundreds, from honest Duncan the paper-manufacturer, to the most snivelling of the printer's devils, “Didst thou not share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence?” I profess I think our Modern Athens much obliged to me for having established such an extensive manufacture; and when universal suffrage comes in fashion, I intend to stand for a seat in the House on the interest of all the unwashed artificers connected with literature.

Author. If I were to allow the significant benefits that come from succeeding in literature to combine with other reasons for me to present myself more often to the public—considering that payment is a voluntary contribution the public makes for a certain type of literary entertainment—it’s not forced from anyone, and I assume it’s only paid by those who can afford it and who find pleasure in relation to the cost. If the total amount these books have generated is quite large, has it only fed my own indulgences? Or can I not say to hundreds, from honest Duncan the paper-maker to the most pitiful of the printer's assistants, “Did you not benefit? Didn’t you get fifteen pence?” I genuinely believe our Modern Athens owes me a thanks for establishing such a broad industry; and when universal suffrage becomes the norm, I plan to run for a seat in the House advocating for all the underappreciated workers linked to literature.

Captain. This would be called the language of a calico-manufacturer.

Captain. This would be referred to as the language of a calico maker.

Author. Cant again, my dear son—there is lime in this sack, too—nothing but sophistication in this world! I do say it, in spite of Adam Smith and his followers, that a successful author is a productive labourer, and that his works constitute as effectual a part of the public wealth, as that which is created by any other manufacture. If a new commodity, having an actually intrinsic and commercial value, be the result of the operation, why are the author's bales of books to be esteemed a less profitable part of the public stock than the goods of any other manufacturer? I speak with reference to the diffusion of the wealth arising to the public, and the degree of industry which even such a trifling work as the present must stimulate and reward, before the volumes leave the publisher's shop. Without me it could not exist, and to this extent I am a benefactor to the country. As for my own emolument, it is won by my toil, and I account myself answerable to Heaven only for the mode in which I expend it. The candid may hope it is not all dedicated to selfish purposes; and, without much pretensions to merit in him who disburses it, a part may “wander, heaven-directed, to the poor.”

Author. Not again, my dear son—there's lime in this sack, too—just nothing but trickery in this world! I say this despite Adam Smith and his followers: a successful author is a productive worker, and their works are just as much a part of the public wealth as anything produced by any other industry. If a new product has real intrinsic and commercial value, why should the author's stacks of books be seen as a less valuable part of the public stock than the goods from any other manufacturer? I'm talking about the distribution of wealth that comes to the public and the level of effort that even a simple work like this one must inspire and reward before the books leave the publisher's shop. Without my input, it couldn't exist, and in that way, I'm a benefactor to the country. As for my own earnings, I earn them through hard work, and I believe I'm only accountable to God for how I spend it. Those who are fair-minded might hope that not everything goes towards selfish reasons; and, while I don't claim to be particularly virtuous, some of it may “wander, heaven-directed, to the poor.”

Captain. Yet it is generally held base to write from the mere motives of gain.

Captain. Still, it's commonly seen as low to write just for profit.

Author. It would be base to do so exclusively, or even to make it a principal motive for literary exertion. Nay, I will venture to say, that no work of imagination, proceeding from the mere consideration of a certain sum of copy-money, ever did, or ever will, succeed. So the lawyer who pleads, the soldier who fights, the physician who prescribes, the clergyman—if such there be—who preaches, without any zeal for his profession, or without any sense of its dignity, and merely on account of the fee, pay, or stipend, degrade themselves to the rank of sordid mechanics. Accordingly, in the case of two of the learned faculties at least, their services are considered as unappreciable, and are acknowledged, not by any exact estimate of the services rendered, but by a honorarium, or voluntary acknowledgment. But let a client or patient make the experiment of omitting this little ceremony of the honorarium, which is cense to be a thing entirely out of consideration between them, and mark how the learned gentleman will look upon his case. Cant set apart, it is the same thing with literary emolument. No man of sense, in any rank of life, is, or ought to be, above accepting a just recompense for his time, and a reasonable share of the capital which owes its very existence to his exertions. When Czar Peter wrought in the trenches, he took the pay of a common soldier; and nobles, statesmen, and divines, the most distinguished of their time, have not scorned to square accounts with their bookseller.

Author. It would be wrong to do so solely, or even to make it a main reason for writing. In fact, I would argue that no work of creativity, motivated only by a certain amount of payment, has ever succeeded or will ever succeed. The same goes for the lawyer who represents, the soldier who fights, the doctor who prescribes, or the clergyman—if there is one—who preaches without any passion for their profession, or without any regard for its dignity, and only for the money, they lower themselves to the level of greedy workers. Therefore, in at least two of the learned professions, their services are seen as invaluable, recognized not through a precise evaluation of their work, but by an honorarium, or a voluntary acknowledgment. But let a client or patient try skipping this small gesture of the honorarium, which is cense to be regarded as something entirely irrelevant between them, and see how the learned person reacts to their case. Setting aside the pretenses, it’s the same with literary payment. No reasonable person, in any position, is or should be above accepting fair compensation for their time, and a fair share of the profits that owe their very existence to their efforts. When Czar Peter worked in the trenches, he accepted the pay of a common soldier; and nobles, statesmen, and clergy, the most respected of their time, have not been ashamed to settle up with their bookseller.

Captain. (Sings.)

Captain. (Singing.)

    “O if it were a mean thing,
       The gentles would not use it;
     And if it were ungodly,
       The clergy would refuse it.”
 
    “Oh, if it were something bad,  
       The kind people wouldn't do it;  
     And if it were immoral,  
       The clergy would turn it down.”

Author. You say well. But no man of honour, genius, or spirit, would make the mere love of gain, the chief, far less the only, purpose of his labours. For myself, I am not displeased to find the game a winning one; yet while I pleased the public, I should probably continue it merely for the pleasure of playing; for I have felt as strongly as most folks that love of composition, which is perhaps the strongest of all instincts, driving the author to the pen, the painter to the pallet, often without either the chance of fame or the prospect of reward. Perhaps I have said too much of this. I might, perhaps, with as much truth as most people, exculpate myself from the charge of being either of a greedy or mercenary disposition; but I am not, therefore, hypocrite enough to disclaim the ordinary motives, on account of which the whole world around me is toiling unremittingly, to the sacrifice of ease, comfort, health, and life. I do not affect the disinterestedness of that ingenious association of gentlemen mentioned by Goldsmith, who sold their magazine for sixpence a-piece, merely for their own amusement.

Author. You're right. But no person with honor, talent, or drive would make the mere pursuit of profit the primary, let alone the sole, purpose of their work. Personally, I’m happy to find the endeavor profitable; however, while I satisfy the public, I would probably continue it just for the enjoyment of it. I have felt as deeply as anyone that love for creation, which is possibly the strongest of all instincts, pushes writers to the pen and artists to the canvas, often without any hope of recognition or reward. Maybe I've said too much about this. I could, with as much honesty as most people, defend myself against being labeled as greedy or mercenary; but I'm not hypocritical enough to deny the common motivations that drive everyone around me to work tirelessly, sacrificing comfort, health, and even life. I don't pretend to have the selflessness of that clever group of gentlemen mentioned by Goldsmith, who sold their magazine for sixpence each just for their own enjoyment.

Captain. I have but one thing more to hint.—The world say you will run yourself out.

Captain. I have just one more thing to mention. People say you will wear yourself out.

Author. The world say true: and what then? When they dance no longer, I will no longer pipe; and I shall not want flappers enough to remind me of the apoplexy.

Author. The world speaks the truth: and what of it? When they stop dancing, I’ll stop playing; and I won’t need enough flappers to remind me of the stroke.

Captain. And what will become of us then, your poor family? We shall fall into contempt and oblivion.

Captain. And what will happen to us then, your poor family? We will be forgotten and looked down upon.

Author. Like many a poor fellow, already overwhelmed with the number of his family, I cannot help going on to increase it—“'Tis my vocation, Hal.”—Such of you as deserve oblivion—perhaps the whole of you—may be consigned to it. At any rate, you have been read in your day, which is more than can be said of some of your contemporaries, of less fortune and more merit. They cannot say but that you had the crown. It is always something to have engaged the public attention for seven years. Had I only written Waverley, I should have long since been, according to the established phrase, “the ingenious author of a novel much admired at the time.” I believe, on my soul, that the reputation of Waverley is sustained very much by the praises of those, who may be inclined to prefer that tale to its successors.

Author. Like many a struggling person, already overwhelmed by my family size, I can’t help but keep adding to it—“It’s my calling, Hal.” Those of you who deserve to be forgotten—maybe all of you—might end up there. At least you’ve been read in your time, which is more than can be said for some of your peers, who are less fortunate but more deserving. They can’t deny that you had the spotlight. It’s something to have captured public interest for seven years. If I had only written Waverley, I would have long since become, as people say, “the clever author of a novel that was much admired at the time.” I honestly believe that Waverley’s reputation is largely upheld by the praise of those who might prefer that story over its sequels.

Captain. You are willing, then, to barter future reputation for present popularity?

Captain. So, you're okay with trading your future reputation for some popularity right now?

Author. Meliora spero. Horace himself expected not to survive in all his works—I may hope to live in some of mine;—non omnis moriar. It is some consolation to reflect, that the best authors in all countries have been the most voluminous; and it has often happened, that those who have been best received in their own time, have also continued to be acceptable to posterity. I do not think so ill of the present generation, as to suppose that its present favour necessarily infers future condemnation.

Author. I hope for better things. Horace himself didn’t expect to be remembered through all his works—I hope to live on in some of mine;—not all of me will die. It’s somewhat comforting to think that the greatest authors from all over the world have also been the most prolific; and it has often been the case that those who were well-received in their own time remain appreciated by future generations. I don’t have such a low opinion of the current generation as to believe that its current approval necessarily means future disapproval.

Captain. Were all to act on such principles, the public would be inundated.

Captain. If everyone acted on those principles, the public would be flooded.

Author Once more, my dear son, beware of cant. You speak as if the public were obliged to read books merely because they are printed—your friends the booksellers would thank you to make the proposition good. The most serious grievance attending such inundations as you talk of, is, that they make rags dear. The multiplicity of publications does the present age no harm, and may greatly advantage that which is to succeed us.

Author Once again, my dear son, watch out for pretentiousness. You talk as if the public has to read books just because they're published—your friends in the book-selling business would appreciate it if you could prove that. The biggest issue with the flood of books you’re mentioning is that it drives up the price of rags. The sheer number of publications doesn’t harm our current time and could greatly benefit the future generations.

Captain. I do not see how that is to happen.

Captain. I don’t see how that’s going to happen.

Author. The complaints in the time of Elizabeth and James, of the alarming fertility of the press, were as loud as they are at present—yet look at the shore over which the inundation of that age flowed, and it resembles now the Rich Strand of the Faery Queen—

Author. The complaints during the time of Elizabeth and James about the overwhelming amount of printed material were just as loud as they are today—yet if you look at the aftermath of that era, it now resembles the Rich Strand of the Faery Queen—

     ——“Besrrew'd all with rich array,
     Of pearl and precious stones of great assay;
     And all the gravel mix'd with golden ore.”
 
     ——“Dressed all in luxurious attire,  
     Adorned with pearls and precious stones of great value;  
     And all the gravel blended with golden ore.”

Believe me, that even in the most neglected works of the present age, the next may discover treasures.

Believe me, even in the most overlooked works of today, the next generation might find gold.

Captain. Some books will defy all alchemy.

Captain. Some books will resist any transformation.

Author. They will be but few in number; since, as for the writers, who are possessed of no merit at all, unless indeed they publish their works at their own expense, like Sir Richard Blackmore, their power of annoying the public will be soon limited by the difficulty of finding undertaking booksellers.

Author. They will be few in number; since, as for the writers who have no real talent, unless they publish their work at their own cost, like Sir Richard Blackmore, their ability to annoy the public will quickly be restricted by the challenge of finding willing booksellers.

Captain. You are incorrigible. Are there no bounds to your audacity?

Captain. You are impossible. Is there no limit to your boldness?

Author. There are the sacred and eternal boundaries of honour and virtue. My course is like the enchanted chamber of Britomart—

Author. There are sacred and timeless boundaries of honor and virtue. My journey resembles the magical chamber of Britomart—

    “Where as she look'd about, she did behold
     How over that same door was likewise writ,
     Be Bold—Be Bold, and everywhere Be Bold.
     Whereat she mused, and could not construe it;
     At last she spied at that room's upper end
     Another iron door, on which was writ—
     BE NOT TOO BOLD.”
 
    “As she looked around, she noticed that above the same door was also written,  
     Be Bold—Be Bold, and everywhere Be Bold.  
     She thought about it and couldn't figure it out;  
     Finally, she spotted at the far end of the room  
     Another iron door, on which it said—  
     BE NOT TOO BOLD.”

Captain. Well, you must take the risk of proceeding on your own principles.

Captain. Well, you have to take the chance to act according to your own values.

Author. Do you act on yours, and take care you do not stay idling here till the dinner hour is over.—I will add this work to your patrimony, valeat quantum.

Author. Do you follow through on your plans and make sure you don’t just sit around until dinner is done?—I will add this task to your inheritance, valeat quantum.

Here our dialogue terminated; for a little sooty-faced Apollyon from the Canongate came to demand the proof-sheet on the part of Mr. M'Corkindale; and I heard Mr. C. rebuking Mr. F. in another compartment of the same labyrinth I have described, for suffering any one to penetrate so far into the penetralia of their temple.

Here our conversation ended; a small, dark-faced Apollyon from the Canongate came to request the proof-sheet on behalf of Mr. M'Corkindale; and I heard Mr. C. scolding Mr. F. in another section of the same maze I described, for allowing anyone to get this deep into the penetralia of their temple.

I leave it to you to form your own opinion concerning the import of this dialogue, and I cannot but believe I shall meet the wishes of our common parent in prefixing this letter to the work which it concerns.

I leave it to you to form your own opinion about the significance of this dialogue, and I truly believe that I will fulfill our shared parent's wishes by adding this letter to the work it relates to.

I am, reverend and dear Sir,

I am, respected and dear Sir,

Very sincerely and affectionately

Sincerely and lovingly

Yours,

Yours truly,










THE FORTUNES OF NIGEL

  Knifegrinder. Story? Lord bless you! I have none to tell, sir.
                               Poetry of the Antijacobin.
Knifegrinder. Story? Oh, I’ve got nothing to share, sir.  
Poetry of the Antijacobin.










CHAPTER I

  Now Scot and English are agreed,
  And Saunders hastes to cross the Tweed,
  Where, such the splendours that attend him,
  His very mother scarce had kend him.
  His metamorphosis behold,
  From Glasgow frieze to cloth of gold;
  His back-sword, with the iron hilt,
  To rapier, fairly hatch'd and gilt;
  Was ever seen a gallant braver!
  His very bonnet's grown a beaver.
                  The Reformation.
  Now Scot and English are in agreement,  
  And Saunders rushes to cross the Tweed,  
  Where, given the splendors surrounding him,  
  Even his mother would hardly recognize him.  
  Look at his transformation,  
  From Glasgow wool to cloth of gold;  
  His broadsword, with the iron hilt,  
  Has turned into a fancy, gilded rapier;  
  Has anyone ever seen a braver man?  
  Even his hat has turned into a beaver.  
                  The Reformation.

The long-continued hostilities which had for centuries separated the south and the north divisions of the Island of Britain, had been happily terminated by the succession of the pacific James I. to the English Crown. But although the united crown of England and Scotland was worn by the same individual, it required a long lapse of time, and the succession of more than one generation, ere the inveterate national prejudices which had so long existed betwixt the sister kingdoms were removed, and the subjects of either side of the Tweed brought to regard those upon the opposite bank as friends and as brethren.

The long-standing conflicts that had separated the northern and southern regions of Britain for centuries were finally ended with the peaceful reign of James I over England. However, even though England and Scotland were united under one crown, it took a long time and multiple generations for the deep-rooted national prejudices that had existed between the two kingdoms to fade away, allowing people on both sides of the Tweed to see each other as friends and allies.

These prejudices were, of course, most inveterate during the reign of King James. The English subjects accused him of partiality to those of his ancient kingdom; while the Scots, with equal injustice, charged him with having forgotten the land of his nativity, and with neglecting those early friends to whose allegiance he had been so much indebted.

These biases were, of course, strongest during the reign of King James. The English subjects accused him of favoritism towards people from his old kingdom, while the Scots, just as unfairly, accused him of forgetting his birthplace and neglecting the early friends to whom he owed so much loyalty.

The temper of the king, peaceable even to timidity, inclined him perpetually to interfere as mediator between the contending factions, whose brawls disturbed the Court. But, notwithstanding all his precautions, historians have recorded many instances, where the mutual hatred of two nations, who, after being enemies for a thousand years, had been so very recently united, broke forth with a fury which menaced a general convulsion; and, spreading from the highest to the lowest classes, as it occasioned debates in council and parliament, factions in the court, and duels among the gentry, was no less productive of riots and brawls amongst the lower orders.

The king was usually calm, even to the point of being timid, which made him always want to step in as a mediator between the fighting groups whose arguments disrupted the Court. However, despite all his efforts, historians have recorded many occasions when the deep-seated hatred between two nations, who had been enemies for a thousand years but had only recently come together, erupted with a violence that threatened widespread chaos. This anger spread from the highest to the lowest classes, causing debates in council and parliament, factions at court, and duels among the gentry, as well as riots and fights among the lower classes.

While these heart-burnings were at the highest, there flourished in the city of London an ingenious but whimsical and self opinioned mechanic, much devoted to abstract studies, David Ramsay by name, who, whether recommended by his great skill in his profession, as the courtiers alleged, or, as was murmured among the neighbours, by his birthplace, in the good town of Dalkeith, near Edinburgh, held in James's household the post of maker of watches and horologes to his Majesty. He scorned not, however, to keep open shop within Temple Bar, a few yards to the eastward of Saint Dunstan's Church.

While these anxieties were at their peak, there was a clever but quirky and self-assured mechanic thriving in the city of London, named David Ramsay. He was deeply invested in abstract studies and, whether brought to James's court due to his exceptional skill as others claimed, or as some of the neighbors whispered, due to his hometown of Dalkeith, near Edinburgh, he held the position of watchmaker to the King. However, he didn’t hesitate to run a shop just inside Temple Bar, a short distance east of Saint Dunstan's Church.

The shop of a London tradesman at that time, as it may be supposed, was something very different from those we now see in the same locality. The goods were exposed to sale in cases, only defended from the weather by a covering of canvass, and the whole resembled the stalls and booths now erected for the temporary accommodation of dealers at a country fair, rather than the established emporium of a respectable citizen. But most of the shopkeepers of note, and David Ramsay amongst others, had their booth connected with a small apartment which opened backward from it, and bore the same resemblance to the front shop that Robinson Crusoe's cavern did to the tent which he erected before it.

The shop of a London tradesman back then was quite different from the ones we see today in the same area. The goods were displayed in cases, only protected from the weather by a canvas cover, and it looked more like the stalls and booths set up for temporary vendors at a country fair than a proper shop of a respectable citizen. However, many well-known shopkeepers, including David Ramsay, had their booth linked to a small room at the back, which resembled the front shop in the same way that Robinson Crusoe's cave resembled the tent he set up in front of it.

To this Master Ramsay was often accustomed to retreat to the labour of his abstruse calculations; for he aimed at improvements and discoveries in his own art, and sometimes pushed his researches, like Napier, and other mathematicians of the period, into abstract science. When thus engaged, he left the outer posts of his commercial establishment to be maintained by two stout-bodied and strong-voiced apprentices, who kept up the cry of, “What d'ye lack? what d'ye lack?” accompanied with the appropriate recommendations of the articles in which they dealt.

To this, Master Ramsay often retreated to focus on his complex calculations; he aimed for advancements and discoveries in his field and occasionally delved into abstract science, much like Napier and other mathematicians of the time. While he was busy with this, he left the front of his business to two sturdy apprentices with loud voices, who eagerly shouted, “What do you need? What do you need?” along with recommendations for the items they sold.

This direct and personal application for custom to those who chanced to pass by, is now, we believe, limited to Monmouth Street, (if it still exists even in that repository of ancient garments,) under the guardianship of the scattered remnant of Israel. But at the time we are speaking of, it was practised alike by Jew and Gentile, and served, instead of all our present newspaper puffs and advertisements, to solicit the attention of the public in general, and of friends in particular, to the unrivalled excellence of the goods, which they offered to sale upon such easy terms, that it might fairly appear that the venders had rather a view to the general service of the public, than to their own particular advantage.

This straightforward and personal approach for custom from those who happened to walk by is now, we think, only found on Monmouth Street, if it still exists in that collection of old clothes, under the care of the scattered remnants of Israel. But back when we’re talking about, it was practiced by both Jews and Gentiles, serving, instead of all our current newspaper hype and ads, to catch the attention of the public in general and friends in particular, highlighting the unmatched quality of the goods they offered for sale on such easy terms that it seemed like the sellers were more focused on serving the public than on their own profit.

The verbal proclaimers of the excellence of their commodities, had this advantage over those who, in the present day, use the public papers for the same purpose, that they could in many cases adapt their address to the peculiar appearance and apparent taste of the passengers. [This, as we have said, was also the case in Monmouth Street in our remembrance. We have ourselves been reminded of the deficiencies of our femoral habiliments, and exhorted upon that score to fit ourselves more beseemingly; but this is a digression.] This direct and personal mode of invitation to customers became, however, a dangerous temptation to the young wags who were employed in the task of solicitation during the absence of the principal person interested in the traffic; and, confiding in their numbers and civic union, the 'prentices of London were often seduced into taking liberties with the passengers, and exercising their wit at the expense of those whom they had no hopes of converting into customers by their eloquence. If this were resented by any act of violence, the inmates of each shop were ready to pour forth in succour; and in the words of an old song which Dr. Johnson was used to hum,—

The verbal promoters of their products had this advantage over those today who use public ads for the same reason: they could often tailor their message to fit the unique style and apparent preferences of the people passing by. [This was also true in Monmouth Street, as we remember. We’ve been reminded of the shortcomings of our pants and urged to dress more appropriately; but that’s off-topic.] This direct and personal way of inviting customers became a risky temptation for the young jokers tasked with attracting customers in the absence of the main seller; feeling confident in their numbers and community, the apprentices of London often crossed the line with the passersby, joking at the expense of those they had no chance of converting into customers with their charm. If this was met with any violence, the staff in each shop were quick to come to the rescue; and in the words of an old song that Dr. Johnson used to hum,—

    “Up then rose the 'prentices all,
     Living in London, both proper and tall.”
 
    “Then the apprentices all got up,  
     Living in London, both neat and tall.”

Desperate riots often arose on such occasions, especially when the Templars, or other youths connected with the aristocracy, were insulted, or conceived themselves to be so. Upon such occasions, bare steel was frequently opposed to the clubs of the citizens, and death sometimes ensued on both sides. The tardy and inefficient police of the time had no other resource than by the Alderman of the ward calling out the householders, and putting a stop to the strife by overpowering numbers, as the Capulets and Montagues are separated upon the stage.

Desperate riots often broke out during these times, especially when the Templars or other young people connected to the aristocracy were insulted or felt they were. In these situations, drawn swords were often met with the clubs of the citizens, and fatalities sometimes occurred on both sides. The slow and ineffective police of the time had no other option than for the Alderman of the ward to call out the householders and put an end to the conflict with sheer numbers, much like how the Capulets and Montagues are separated on stage.

At the period when such was the universal custom of the most respectable, as well as the most inconsiderable, shopkeepers in London, David Ramsay, on the evening to which we solicit the attention of the reader, retiring to more abstruse and private labours, left the administration of his outer shop, or booth, to the aforesaid sharp-witted, active, able-bodied, and well-voiced apprentices, namely, Jenkin Vincent and Frank Tunstall.

At a time when it was a common practice among both the most respected and the least significant shopkeepers in London, David Ramsay, on the evening we invite the reader to focus on, stepped away to engage in more complex and personal tasks, leaving the management of his front shop, or booth, to the aforementioned clever, energetic, strong, and well-spoken apprentices, Jenkin Vincent and Frank Tunstall.

Vincent had been educated at the excellent foundation of Christ's Church Hospital, and was bred, therefore, as well as born, a Londoner, with all the acuteness, address, and audacity which belong peculiarly to the youth of a metropolis. He was now about twenty years old, short in stature, but remarkably strong made, eminent for his feats upon holidays at foot-ball, and other gymnastic exercises; scarce rivalled in the broad-sword play, though hitherto only exercised in the form of single-stick. He knew every lane, blind alley, and sequestered court of the ward, better than his catechism; was alike active in his master's affairs, and in his own adventures of fun and mischief; and so managed matters, that the credit he acquired by the former bore him out, or at least served for his apology, when the latter propensity led him into scrapes, of which, however, it is but fair to state, that they had hitherto inferred nothing mean or discreditable. Some aberrations there were, which David Ramsay, his master, endeavoured to reduce to regular order when he discovered them, and others which he winked at—supposing them to answer the purpose of the escapement of a watch, which disposes of a certain quantity of the extra power of that mechanical impulse which puts the whole in motion.

Vincent had been educated at the distinguished Christ's Church Hospital, and was raised, as well as born, a Londoner, with all the sharpness, skill, and boldness that are typical of city youth. He was now about twenty years old, short in height but impressively strong, known for his impressive feats during holiday football games and other physical activities; he was unmatched in broad-sword combat, although he had only practiced with a single stick so far. He knew every lane, alley, and hidden courtyard in his neighborhood better than he knew his catechism; he was equally energetic in both his employer's business and his own antics of fun and mischief; and he managed things so well that the reputation he built from the former often excused him, or at least served as justification, when his mischievous tendencies got him into trouble, which, it should be noted, had not yet led to anything serious or shameful. There were some missteps that David Ramsay, his employer, tried to correct when he found out about them, and others that he overlooked—believing they served a similar purpose to the escape mechanism in a watch, which lets off some of the excess energy that powers the entire mechanism.

The physiognomy of Jin Vin—by which abbreviation he was familiarly known through the ward—corresponded with the sketch we have given of his character. His head, upon which his 'prentice's flat cap was generally flung in a careless and oblique fashion, was closely covered with thick hair of raven black, which curled naturally and closely, and would have grown to great length, but for the modest custom enjoined by his state in life and strictly enforced by his master, which compelled him to keep it short-cropped,—not unreluctantly, as he looked with envy on the flowing ringlets, in which the courtiers, and aristocratic students of the neighbouring Temple, began to indulge themselves, as marks of superiority and of gentility.

The appearance of Jin Vin—what he was commonly called in the neighborhood—matched the description we've given of his character. His head, usually topped at a slant and carelessly with his apprentice's flat cap, was covered with thick, naturally curling black hair. It could have grown quite long, but his position in life required him to keep it short due to his master's strict rules. He didn’t like it much, especially since he envied the long curls that the courtiers and well-off students at the nearby Temple were starting to flaunt as symbols of status and gentility.

Vincent's eyes were deep set in his head, of a strong vivid black, full of fire, roguery, and intelligence, and conveying a humorous expression, even while he was uttering the usual small-talk of his trade, as if he ridiculed those who were disposed to give any weight to his commonplaces. He had address enough, however, to add little touches of his own, which gave a turn of drollery even to this ordinary routine of the booth; and the alacrity of his manner—his ready and obvious wish to oblige—his intelligence and civility, when he thought civility necessary, made him a universal favourite with his master's customers.

Vincent had deep-set eyes, a striking vivid black, filled with fire, mischief, and intelligence, and his gaze had a humorous expression, even when he was engaging in the usual small talk of his job, as if he was mocking those who took his clichés seriously. He was clever enough to add personal touches that brought a sense of humor to the standard routine of the booth; and his upbeat demeanor—his eager and genuine desire to please—along with his intelligence and politeness, when he deemed it necessary, made him a favorite among his master's customers.

His features were far from regular, for his nose was flattish, his mouth tending to the larger size, and his complexion inclining to be more dark than was then thought consistent with masculine beauty. But, in despite of his having always breathed the air of a crowded city, his complexion had the ruddy and manly expression of redundant health; his turned-up nose gave an air of spirit and raillery to what he said, and seconded the laugh of his eyes; and his wide mouth was garnished with a pair of well-formed and well-coloured lips, which, when he laughed, disclosed a range of teeth strong and well set, and as white as the very pearl. Such was the elder apprentice of David Ramsay, Memory's Monitor, watchmaker, and constructor of horologes, to his Most Sacred Majesty James I.

His features were far from typical. He had a somewhat flat nose, a larger-than-average mouth, and a complexion that was darker than what people generally considered attractive for men back then. However, despite always living in a bustling city, his complexion had a healthy, vibrant glow. His upturned nose added a playful and witty vibe to his words, matching the laughter in his eyes. His wide mouth was framed by well-shaped, colorful lips that, when he laughed, revealed a strong set of teeth that were white as pearls. This was the older apprentice of David Ramsay, Memory's Monitor, a watchmaker and clockmaker to His Most Sacred Majesty James I.

Jenkin's companion was the younger apprentice, though, perhaps, he might be the elder of the two in years. At any rate, he was of a much more staid and composed temper. Francis Tunstall was of that ancient and proud descent who claimed the style of the “unstained;” because, amid the various chances of the long and bloody wars of the Roses, they had, with undeviating faith, followed the House of Lancaster, to which they had originally attached themselves. The meanest sprig of such a tree attached importance to the root from which it derived itself; and Tunstall was supposed to nourish in secret a proportion of that family pride, which had exhorted tears from his widowed and almost indigent mother, when she saw herself obliged to consign him to a line of life inferior, as her prejudices suggested, to the course held by his progenitors. Yet, with all this aristocratic prejudice, his master found the well-born youth more docile, regular, and strictly attentive to his duty, than his far more active and alert comrade. Tunstall also gratified his master by the particular attention which he seemed disposed to bestow on the abstract principles of science connected with the trade which he was bound to study, the limits of which were daily enlarged with the increase of mathematical science.

Jenkin's companion was the younger apprentice, though he might actually be older than Jenkin. Either way, he had a much more serious and composed demeanor. Francis Tunstall came from an ancient and proud lineage that claimed the title of the “unstained,” because, despite the turmoil of the long and bloody Wars of the Roses, they had consistently supported the House of Lancaster, to which they had originally aligned themselves. Even the most minor descendant of such a family placed importance on the roots they came from; Tunstall was believed to secretly harbor a sense of family pride that had brought tears to his widowed and nearly impoverished mother when she saw that she had to send him into a life she believed was beneath the standards set by his ancestors. Yet, despite all this aristocratic pride, his master found this well-bred youth to be more obedient, diligent, and focused on his responsibilities than his much more energetic and enthusiastic friend. Tunstall also pleased his master by showing a particular interest in the theoretical aspects of science related to the trade he was training for, which was expanding daily along with advances in mathematics.

Vincent beat his companion beyond the distance-post, in every thing like the practical adaptation of thorough practice, in the dexterity of hand necessary to execute the mechanical branches of the art, and doubled-distanced him in all respecting the commercial affairs of the shop. Still David Ramsay was wont to say, that if Vincent knew how to do a thing the better of the two, Tunstall was much better acquainted with the principles on which it ought to be done; and he sometimes objected to the latter, that he knew critical excellence too well ever to be satisfied with practical mediocrity.

Vincent outperformed his companion at the distance post, excelling in the practical application of rigorous training, as well as in the skill required to carry out the mechanical aspects of the trade, and he outpaced him in all matters related to the business side of the shop. Still, David Ramsay often said that while Vincent had a better grasp on how to do something, Tunstall was much more familiar with the principles governing how it should be done; and he sometimes pointed out that Tunstall was so aware of critical excellence that he could never settle for merely average performance.

The disposition of Tunstall was shy, as well as studious; and, though perfectly civil and obliging, he never seemed to feel himself in his place while he went through the duties of the shop. He was tall and handsome, with fair hair, and well-formed limbs, good features, well-opened light-blue eyes, a straight Grecian nose, and a countenance which expressed both good-humour and intelligence, but qualified by a gravity unsuitable to his years, and which almost amounted to dejection. He lived on the best of terms with his companion, and readily stood by him whenever he was engaged in any of the frequent skirmishes, which, as we have already observed, often disturbed the city of London about this period. But though Tunstall was allowed to understand quarter-staff (the weapon of the North country) in a superior degree, and though he was naturally both strong and active, his interference in such affrays seemed always matter of necessity; and, as he never voluntarily joined either their brawls or their sports, he held a far lower place in the opinion of the youth of the ward than his hearty and active friend Jin Vin. Nay, had it not been for the interest made for his comrade, by the intercession of Vincent, Tunstall would have stood some chance of being altogether excluded from the society of his contemporaries of the same condition, who called him, in scorn, the Cavaliero Cuddy, and the Gentle Tunstall.

Tunstall was shy and studious; although he was polite and helpful, he never seemed comfortable while performing his duties at the shop. He was tall and attractive, with fair hair, well-formed limbs, good features, bright light-blue eyes, a straight Grecian nose, and a face that showed both good humor and intelligence, but was also marked by a seriousness that didn’t fit his age, almost resembling sadness. He got along very well with his companion and always supported him during the frequent brawls that often disrupted London at that time. Despite being skilled with the quarter-staff (the weapon from the North), and naturally strong and athletic, Tunstall's involvement in these conflicts always felt necessary, and since he never participated in their fights or games voluntarily, he was regarded much lower by the youth of the ward compared to his lively and energetic friend, Jin Vin. In fact, if it hadn't been for Vincent advocating for him, Tunstall might have faced exclusion from his peers of the same social standing, who mocked him by calling him the Cavaliero Cuddy and the Gentle Tunstall.

On the other hand, the lad himself, deprived of the fresh air in which he had been brought up, and foregoing the exercise to which he had formerly been accustomed, while the inhabitant of his native mansion, lost gradually the freshness of his complexion, and, without showing any formal symptoms of disease, grew more thin and pale as he grew older, and at length exhibited the appearance of indifferent health, without any thing of the habits and complaints of an invalid, excepting a disposition to avoid society, and to spend his leisure time in private study, rather than mingle in the sports of his companions, or even resort to the theatres, then the general rendezvous of his class; where, according to high authority, they fought for half-bitten apples, cracked nuts, and filled the upper gallery with their clamours.

On the other hand, the young man, missing the fresh air he grew up in and skipping the exercise he used to get, started to lose the healthy glow of his complexion. Without showing any obvious signs of illness, he became thinner and paler as he got older, eventually looking somewhat unhealthy, without the usual habits or complaints of someone not well. He preferred to avoid socializing and spent his free time studying alone instead of joining in the activities with his friends or going to the theaters, which were the usual hangout spots for his peers, where, according to popular opinion, they fought over half-eaten apples, cracked nuts, and filled the upper gallery with their noise.

Such were the two youths who called David Ramsay master; and with both of whom he used to fret from morning till night, as their peculiarities interfered with his own, or with the quiet and beneficial course of his traffic.

Such were the two young men who referred to David Ramsay as their master; and with both of them, he would worry from morning till night, as their quirks got in the way of his own, or disrupted the smooth and profitable flow of his business.

Upon the whole, however, the youths were attached to their master, and he, a good-natured, though an absent and whimsical man, was scarce less so to them; and when a little warmed with wine at an occasional junketing, he used to boast, in his northern dialect, of his “twa bonnie lads, and the looks that the court ladies threw at them, when visiting his shop in their caroches, when on a frolic into the city.” But David Ramsay never failed, at the same time, to draw up his own tall, thin, lathy skeleton, extend his lean jaws into an alarming grin, and indicate, by a nod of his yard-long visage, and a twinkle of his little grey eye, that there might be more faces in Fleet Street worth looking at than those of Frank and Jenkin. His old neighbour, Widow Simmons, the sempstress, who had served, in her day, the very tip-top revellers of the Temple, with ruffs, cuffs, and bands, distinguished more deeply the sort of attention paid by the females of quality, who so regularly visited David Ramsay's shop, to its inmates. “The boy Frank,” she admitted, “used to attract the attention of the young ladies, as having something gentle and downcast in his looks; but then he could not better himself, for the poor youth had not a word to throw at a dog. Now Jin Vin was so full of his jibes and jeers, and so willing, and so ready, and so serviceable, and so mannerly all the while, with a step that sprung like a buck's in Epping Forest, and his eye that twinkled as black as a gipsy's, that no woman who knew the world would make a comparison betwixt the lads. As for poor neighbour Ramsay himself, the man,” she said, “was a civil neighbour, and a learned man, doubtless, and might be a rich man if he had common sense to back his learning; and doubtless, for a Scot, neighbour Ramsay was nothing of a bad man, but he was so constantly grimed with smoke, gilded with brass filings, and smeared with lamp-black and oil, that Dame Simmons judged it would require his whole shopful of watches to induce any feasible woman to touch the said neighbour Ramsay with any thing save a pair of tongs.”

Overall, the young men were fond of their master, who, though a kind-hearted but distracted and quirky man, returned their affection. When he had a bit to drink at a gathering, he would boast, in his northern accent, about his “two handsome boys” and the glances the court ladies would throw at them when they visited his shop in their carriages during a fun day out in the city. Yet, David Ramsay always took the opportunity to showcase his tall, thin frame, stretch his bony jaw into a startling grin, and indicate, with a nod of his long face and a twinkle in his little grey eye, that there might be more interesting faces on Fleet Street than those of Frank and Jenkin. His old neighbor, Widow Simmons, the seamstress who had dressed the top revelers of the Temple back in the day, understood even better the kind of attention the quality women paid to the boys in David Ramsay's shop. “The boy Frank,” she said, “would catch the eye of the young ladies because he had a gentle and shy look about him; but he couldn't improve his situation, poor thing, since he had not a word to say to anyone. Now, Jin Vin was full of jokes and ready to serve, always polite, with a spring in his step like a buck in Epping Forest, and his eyes sparkled as dark as a gypsy's. No woman who knew the world would compare the two boys. As for poor neighbor Ramsay himself, she remarked, “he's a decent neighbor and a learned man for sure, and he could be wealthy if he had the common sense to match his education. And for a Scot, neighbor Ramsay isn’t a bad guy at all, but he’s so constantly covered in smoke, dusted with brass shavings, and smeared with lamp-black and oil that I think it would take his entire collection of watches to convince any reasonable woman to touch him with anything other than a pair of tongs.”

A still higher authority, Dame Ursula, wife to Benjamin Suddlechop, the barber, was of exactly the same opinion.

A higher authority, Dame Ursula, wife of Benjamin Suddlechop, the barber, felt the same way.

Such were, in natural qualities and public estimation, the two youths, who, in a fine April day, having first rendered their dutiful service and attendance on the table of their master and his daughter, at their dinner at one o'clock,—Such, O ye lads of London, was the severe discipline undergone by your predecessors!—and having regaled themselves upon the fragments, in company with two female domestics, one a cook, and maid of all work, the other called Mistress Margaret's maid, now relieved their master in the duty of the outward shop; and agreeably to the established custom, were soliciting, by their entreaties and recommendations of their master's manufacture, the attention and encouragement of the passengers.

These were the natural qualities and public perceptions of the two young men who, on a beautiful April day, having first completed their duties by serving their master and his daughter during their one o'clock dinner—Such, oh young men of London, was the strict discipline faced by your predecessors!—and having enjoyed the leftovers with two female servants, one a cook and all-round helper, the other known as Mistress Margaret's maid, took over their master's role at the front of the shop. As was customary, they were trying to attract the attention and support of passersby with their pleas and recommendations for their master's products.

In this species of service it may be easily supposed that Jenkin Vincent left his more reserved and bashful comrade far in the background. The latter could only articulate with difficulty, and as an act of duty which he was rather ashamed of discharging, the established words of form—“What d'ye lack?—What d'ye lack?—Clocks—watches—barnacles? —What d'ye lack?—Watches—clocks—barnacles?—What d'ye lack, sir? What d'ye lack, madam?—Barnacles—watches—clocks?”

In this type of service, it's easy to assume that Jenkin Vincent left his more reserved and shy companion far behind. The latter could only speak with difficulty, and out of a sense of obligation that he felt somewhat embarrassed to fulfill, he repeated the standard phrases—“What do you need?—What do you need?—Clocks—watches—barnacles?—What do you need?—Watches—clocks—barnacles?—What do you need, sir? What do you need, ma'am?—Barnacles—watches—clocks?”

But this dull and dry iteration, however varied by diversity of verbal arrangement, sounded flat when mingled with the rich and recommendatory oratory of the bold-faced, deep-mouthed, and ready-witted Jenkin Vincent.—“What d'ye lack, noble sir?—What d'ye lack, beauteous madam?” he said, in a tone at once bold and soothing, which often was so applied as both to gratify the persons addressed, and to excite a smile from other hearers.—“God bless your reverence,” to a beneficed clergyman; “the Greek and Hebrew have harmed your reverence's eyes—Buy a pair of David Ramsay's barnacles. The King—God bless his Sacred Majesty!—never reads Hebrew or Greek without them.”

But this boring and dry repetition, no matter how much it changed in wording, sounded flat when compared to the rich and persuasive speech of the bold, loud, and quick-witted Jenkin Vincent. “What do you need, noble sir?—What do you need, beautiful madam?” he said, in a tone that was both confident and calming, often used to please the people he spoke to and to bring a smile from others listening. “God bless you, sir,” he said to a clergyman with a salary; “the Greek and Hebrew have hurt your eyes—Buy a pair of David Ramsay's spectacles. The King—God bless his Sacred Majesty!—never looks at Hebrew or Greek without them.”

“Are you well avised of that?” said a fat parson from the Vale of Evesham. “Nay, if the Head of the Church wears them,—God bless his Sacred Majesty!—I will try what they can do for me; for I have not been able to distinguish one Hebrew letter from another, since—I cannot remember the time—when I had a bad fever. Choose me a pair of his most Sacred Majesty's own wearing, my good youth.”

“Are you aware of that?” said a chubby priest from the Vale of Evesham. “No, if the Head of the Church wears them—God bless his Sacred Majesty!—I’ll see what they can do for me; because I haven’t been able to tell one Hebrew letter from another since—I can’t remember when—it was during a bad fever. Pick me a pair of his Sacred Majesty’s personal ones, my good lad.”

“This is a pair, and please your reverence,” said Jenkin, producing a pair of spectacles which he touched with an air of great deference and respect, “which his most blessed Majesty placed this day three weeks on his own blessed nose; and would have kept them for his own sacred use, but that the setting being, as your reverence sees, of the purest jet, was, as his Sacred Majesty was pleased to say, fitter for a bishop than for a secular prince.”

“This is a pair, and if I may, sir,” said Jenkin, presenting a pair of glasses which he touched with great respect, “that his most blessed Majesty placed on his own blessed nose three weeks ago today; he would have kept them for his own sacred use, but since the frame, as you can see, is made of the purest jet, he thought it was more suitable for a bishop than for a secular prince.”

“His Sacred Majesty the King,” said the worthy divine, “was ever a very Daniel in his judgment. Give me the barnacles, my good youth, and who can say what nose they may bestride in two years hence?—our reverend brother of Gloucester waxes in years.” He then pulled out his purse, paid for the spectacles, and left the shop with even a more important step than that which had paused to enter it.

“His Sacred Majesty the King,” said the esteemed cleric, “has always been very wise in his judgments. Hand me the barnacles, my good young man, and who knows what they might look like two years from now?—our esteemed brother of Gloucester is getting older.” He then took out his wallet, paid for the glasses, and left the shop with an even more significant stride than the one he took to enter it.

“For shame,” said Tunstall to his companion; “these glasses will never suit one of his years.”

“For shame,” Tunstall said to his friend; “these glasses will never be right for someone his age.”

“You are a fool, Frank,” said Vincent, in reply; “had the good doctor wished glasses to read with, he would have tried them before buying. He does not want to look through them himself, and these will serve the purpose of being looked at by other folks, as well as the best magnifiers in the shop.—What d'ye lack?” he cried, resuming his solicitations. “Mirrors for your toilette, my pretty madam; your head-gear is something awry—pity, since it is so well fancied.” The woman stopped and bought a mirror.—“What d'ye lack?—a watch, Master Sergeant—a watch that will go as long as a lawsuit, as steady and true as your own eloquence?”

“You're such a fool, Frank,” Vincent replied. “If the good doctor wanted glasses to read, he would have tried them before buying. He doesn't want to look through them himself, and these will be just fine for others to look at, just like the best magnifiers in the shop. What do you need?” he called out, going back to his sales pitch. “Mirrors for your beauty routine, my lovely lady; your hairstyle is a bit off—what a shame, since it looks so good.” The woman paused and bought a mirror. “What do you need?—a watch, Master Sergeant—a watch that will last as long as a lawsuit, as steady and true as your own eloquence?”

“Hold your peace, sir,” answered the Knight of the Coif, who was disturbed by Vin's address whilst in deep consultation with an eminent attorney; “hold your peace! You are the loudest-tongued varlet betwixt the Devil's Tavern and Guildhall.”

“Be quiet, sir,” replied the Knight of the Coif, who was bothered by Vin's interruption while he was in serious discussion with a well-known lawyer; “be quiet! You’re the loudest fool between the Devil's Tavern and Guildhall.”

“A watch,” reiterated the undaunted Jenkin, “that shall not lose thirteen minutes in a thirteen years' lawsuit.—He's out of hearing—A watch with four wheels and a bar-movement—a watch that shall tell you, Master Poet, how long the patience of the audience will endure your next piece at the Black Bull.” The bard laughed, and fumbled in the pocket of his slops till he chased into a corner, and fairly caught, a small piece of coin.

“A watch,” repeated the fearless Jenkin, “that won't lose thirteen minutes over a thirteen-year lawsuit.—He's out of earshot—A watch with four wheels and a bar movement—a watch that will tell you, Master Poet, how long the audience will tolerate your next performance at the Black Bull.” The bard chuckled and rummaged in the pocket of his trousers until he cornered and finally caught a small piece of change.

“Here is a tester to cherish thy wit, good boy,” he said.

“Here’s a challenge to appreciate your cleverness, good boy,” he said.

“Gramercy,” said Vin; “at the next play of yours I will bring down a set of roaring boys, that shall make all the critics in the pit, and the gallants on the stage, civil, or else the curtain shall smoke for it.”

“Thanks,” said Vin; “at your next play, I’ll bring a group of loud friends who will make all the critics in the audience and the performers on stage behave, or else the curtain will catch fire for it.”

“Now, that I call mean,” said Tunstall, “to take the poor rhymer's money, who has so little left behind.”

“Now, that’s just cruel,” said Tunstall, “to take the poor poet's money, who has so little left.”

“You are an owl, once again,” said Vincent; “if he has nothing left to buy cheese and radishes, he will only dine a day the sooner with some patron or some player, for that is his fate five days out of the seven. It is unnatural that a poet should pay for his own pot of beer; I will drink his tester for him, to save him from such shame; and when his third night comes round, he shall have penniworths for his coin, I promise you.—But here comes another-guess customer. Look at that strange fellow—see how he gapes at every shop, as if he would swallow the wares.—O! Saint Dunstan has caught his eye; pray God he swallow not the images. See how he stands astonished, as old Adam and Eve ply their ding-dong! Come, Frank, thou art a scholar; construe me that same fellow, with his blue cap with a cock's feather in it, to show he's of gentle blood, God wot—his grey eyes, his yellow hair, his sword with a ton of iron in the handle—his grey thread-bare cloak—his step like a Frenchman—his look like a Spaniard—a book at his girdle, and a broad dudgeon-dagger on the other side, to show him half-pedant, half-bully. How call you that pageant, Frank?”

“You're acting like an owl again,” said Vincent. “If he has nothing left to buy cheese and radishes, he'll just end up dining a day sooner with some sponsor or performer, because that's his fate five days out of the week. It's unnatural for a poet to pay for his own beer; I'll drink for him, to save him from that embarrassment. And when his third night rolls around, he’ll get good value for his money, I promise you. — But here comes another eager customer. Look at that odd guy—he’s staring at every shop as if he wants to eat the merchandise. — Oh! Saint Dunstan has caught his eye; let’s hope he doesn’t swallow the statues. Look at him standing there, astonished, while old Adam and Eve ring their bells! Come on, Frank, you're a scholar; explain that guy to me, with his blue cap and a cock's feather in it, to show he's of noble blood; God knows—his gray eyes, his yellow hair, his sword with a ton of iron in the handle—his worn-out gray cloak—his walk like a Frenchman—his look like a Spaniard—a book at his side, and a large dagger on the other, making him look like half a scholar, half a tough guy. What do you call that display, Frank?”

“A raw Scotsman,” said Tunstall; “just come up, I suppose, to help the rest of his countrymen to gnaw old England's bones; a palmerworm, I reckon, to devour what the locust has spared.”

“A rough Scotsman,” said Tunstall; “just arrived, I assume, to assist the rest of his fellow countrymen in picking apart old England; a palmerworm, I guess, to eat what the locust has left behind.”

“Even so, Frank,” answered Vincent; “just as the poet sings sweetly,—

“Even so, Frank,” Vincent replied, “just as the poet sings beautifully,—

    'In Scotland he was born and bred,
     And, though a beggar, must be fed.'”
 
'He was born and raised in Scotland, and even as a beggar, he must be fed.'

“Hush!” said Tunstall, “remember our master.”

“Hush!” said Tunstall, “remember our boss.”

“Pshaw!” answered his mercurial companion; “he knows on which side his bread is buttered, and I warrant you has not lived so long among Englishmen, and by Englishmen, to quarrel with us for bearing an English mind. But see, our Scot has done gazing at St. Dunstan's, and comes our way. By this light, a proper lad and a sturdy, in spite of freckles and sun-burning.—He comes nearer still, I will have at him.”

“Pshaw!” replied his unpredictable friend; “he knows where his interests lie, and I bet you he hasn’t spent so much time among Englishmen, and with Englishmen, to argue with us for having an English perspective. But look, our Scot has finished admiring St. Dunstan's and is coming our way. By the light, he’s a decent guy and strong, despite his freckles and sunburn. He’s getting closer, I’ll challenge him.”

“And, if you do,” said his comrade, “you may get a broken head—he looks not as if he would carry coals.”

“And, if you do,” said his friend, “you might end up with a broken head—he doesn't seem like the type to take a lot of crap.”

“A fig for your threat,” said Vincent, and instantly addressed the stranger. “Buy a watch, most noble northern Thane—buy a watch, to count the hours of plenty since the blessed moment you left Berwick behind you.—Buy barnacles, to see the English gold lies ready for your gripe.—Buy what you will, you shall have credit for three days; for, were your pockets as bare as Father Fergus's, you are a Scot in London, and you will be stocked in that time.” The stranger looked sternly at the waggish apprentice, and seemed to grasp his cudgel in rather a menacing fashion. “Buy physic,” said the undaunted Vincent, “if you will buy neither time nor light—physic for a proud stomach, sir;—there is a 'pothecary's shop on the other side of the way.”

“A fig for your threat,” said Vincent, and immediately turned to the stranger. “Buy a watch, most noble northern Thane—buy a watch, to count the hours of plenty since that blessed moment you left Berwick behind you.—Buy barnacles, to see the English gold is ready for your grasp.—Buy whatever you want, you’ll have credit for three days; for, even if your pockets were as empty as Father Fergus's, you are a Scot in London, and you'll be stocked in that time.” The stranger glared sternly at the playful apprentice and seemed to grip his cudgel in a somewhat threatening way. “Buy some medicine,” said the fearless Vincent, “if you won’t buy time or light—medicine for a proud stomach, sir;—there’s a pharmacist’s shop on the other side of the street.”

Here the probationary disciple of Galen, who stood at his master's door in his flat cap and canvass sleeves, with a large wooden pestle in his hand, took up the ball which was flung to him by Jenkin, with, “What d'ye lack, sir?—Buy a choice Caledonian salve, Flos sulphvr. cum butyro quant. suff.

Here, the trainee disciple of Galen, standing at his master's door in his flat cap and canvas sleeves, holding a large wooden pestle, picked up the ball tossed to him by Jenkin and said, “What do you need, sir?—Get a premium Caledonian salve, Flos sulphvr. cum butyro quant. suff.

“To be taken after a gentle rubbing-down with an English oaken towel,” said Vincent.

“To be taken after a gentle rub-down with an English oak towel,” said Vincent.

The bonny Scot had given full scope to the play of this small artillery of city wit, by halting his stately pace, and viewing grimly, first the one assailant, and then the other, as if menacing either repartee or more violent revenge. But phlegm or prudence got the better of his indignation, and tossing his head as one who valued not the raillery to which he had been exposed, he walked down Fleet Street, pursued by the horse-laugh of his tormentors.

The cheerful Scot let the small-scale jabs of city humor play out by stopping his dignified stride and grimly looking at each heckler, as if ready to respond with a witty comeback or something harsher. But calmness or common sense won over his anger, and with a toss of his head as if he didn’t care about the teasing he had faced, he walked down Fleet Street, followed by the loud laughter of his tormentors.

“The Scot will not fight till he see his own blood,” said Tunstall, whom his north of England extraction had made familiar with all manner of proverbs against those who lay yet farther north than himself.

“The Scot won’t fight until he sees his own blood,” said Tunstall, whose northern English background had made him familiar with all kinds of sayings about those who lived even farther north than he did.

“Faith, I know not,” said Jenkin; “he looks dangerous, that fellow—he will hit some one over the noddle before he goes far.—Hark!—hark!—they are rising.”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” said Jenkin; “that guy looks dangerous—he's going to hit someone on the head before long.—Listen!—listen!—they’re getting up.”

Accordingly, the well-known cry of, “'Prentices—'prentices—Clubs—clubs!” now rang along Fleet Street; and Jenkin, snatching up his weapon, which lay beneath the counter ready at the slightest notice, and calling to Tunstall to take his bat and follow, leaped over the hatch-door which protected the outer-shop, and ran as fast as he could towards the affray, echoing the cry as he ran, and elbowing, or shoving aside, whoever stood in his way. His comrade, first calling to his master to give an eye to the shop, followed Jenkin's example, and ran after him as fast as he could, but with more attention to the safety and convenience of others; while old David Ramsay, with hands and eyes uplifted, a green apron before him, and a glass which he had been polishing thrust into his bosom, came forth to look after the safety of his goods and chattels, knowing, by old experience, that, when the cry of “Clubs” once arose, he would have little aid on the part of his apprentices.

Accordingly, the familiar shout of, “Apprentices—apprentices—Clubs—clubs!” now echoed down Fleet Street; and Jenkin, grabbing his weapon, which was resting under the counter and ready for action at a moment's notice, called out to Tunstall to grab his bat and follow him. He jumped over the hatch door that protected the front of the shop and ran as fast as he could toward the fight, shouting the cry as he went and pushing past anyone in his way. His teammate, first telling his boss to keep an eye on the shop, followed Jenkin's lead and ran after him as quickly as possible, but with more care for the safety and comfort of others. Meanwhile, old David Ramsay, with his hands and eyes raised, a green apron in front of him, and a glass he had been polishing stuffed into his chest, came out to check on the safety of his belongings, knowing from experience that when the cry of “Clubs” went up, he could expect little help from his apprentices.










CHAPTER II

  This, sir, is one among the Seignory,
  Has wealth at will, and will to use his wealth,
  And wit to increase it. Marry, his worst folly
  Lies in a thriftless sort of charity,
  That goes a-gadding sometimes after objects,
  Which wise men will not see when thrust upon them.
                             The Old Couple.
  This, sir, is one of the nobility,  
  has money to spare and the desire to use it,  
  and the intelligence to grow it. Honestly, his greatest flaw  
  lies in a careless kind of generosity,  
  that sometimes goes searching for causes,  
  that wise people wouldn’t notice if they were presented with them.  
                             The Old Couple.

The ancient gentleman bustled about his shop, in pettish displeasure at being summoned hither so hastily, to the interruption of his more abstract studies; and, unwilling to renounce the train of calculation which he had put in progress, he mingled whimsically with the fragments of the arithmetical operation, his oratory to the passengers, and angry reflections on his idle apprentices. “What d'ye lack, sir? Madam, what d'ye lack—clocks for hall or table—night-watches—day watches?—Locking wheel being 48—the power of retort 8—the striking pins are 48—What d'ye lack, honoured sir?—The quotient—the multiplicand—That the knaves should have gone out this blessed minute!—the acceleration being at the rate of 5 minutes, 55 seconds, 53 thirds, 59 fourths—I will switch them both when they come back—I will, by the bones of the immortal Napier!”

The old man hurried around his shop, feeling annoyed at being called here so quickly, interrupting his deeper studies; and not wanting to give up the calculations he was working on, he mixed his arithmetic thoughts with his chatter to the customers and his frustrated thoughts about his lazy apprentices. “What do you need, sir? Ma'am, what do you need—clocks for the hall or table—night watches—day watches?—Locking wheel is 48—the power of retort is 8—the striking pins are 48—What do you need, respected sir?—The quotient—the multiplicand—That those fools should have gone out at this exact moment!—the acceleration is at the rate of 5 minutes, 55 seconds, 53 thirds, 59 fourths—I will punish them both when they come back—I will, by the bones of the immortal Napier!”

Here the vexed philosopher was interrupted by the entrance of a grave citizen of a most respectable appearance, who, saluting him familiarly by the name of “Davie, my old acquaintance,” demanded what had put him so much out of sorts, and gave him at the same time a cordial grasp of his hand.

Here the troubled philosopher was interrupted by the arrival of a serious citizen with a very respectable appearance, who greeted him warmly as “Davie, my old friend,” and asked what had him so upset, while also giving him a friendly handshake.

The stranger's dress was, though grave, rather richer than usual. His paned hose were of black velvet, lined with purple silk, which garniture appeared at the slashes. His doublet was of purple cloth, and his short cloak of black velvet, to correspond with his hose; and both were adorned with a great number of small silver buttons richly wrought in filigree. A triple chain of gold hung round his neck; and, in place of a sword or dagger, he wore at his belt an ordinary knife for the purpose of the table, with a small silver case, which appeared to contain writing materials. He might have seemed some secretary or clerk engaged in the service of the public, only that his low, flat, and unadorned cap, and his well-blacked, shining shoes, indicated that he belonged to the city. He was a well-made man, about the middle size, and seemed in firm health, though advanced in years. His looks expressed sagacity and good-humour: and the air of respectability which his dress announced, was well supported by his clear eye, ruddy cheek, and grey hair. He used the Scottish idiom in his first address, but in such a manner that it could hardly be distinguished whether he was passing upon his friend a sort of jocose mockery, or whether it was his own native dialect, for his ordinary discourse had little provincialism.

The stranger's outfit was serious but much more elaborate than usual. His patterned hose were made of black velvet lined with purple silk, which showed through the slashes. His doublet was purple, and his short black velvet cloak matched his hose. Both were decorated with many small silver buttons intricately designed in filigree. A triple gold chain hung around his neck; instead of a sword or dagger, he had a regular table knife at his belt, along with a small silver case that seemed to hold writing materials. He might have looked like a secretary or clerk serving the public, except for his plain, low cap and well-polished shoes, which suggested he was from the city. He was of average height, well-built, and appeared to be in good health despite his age. His face showed wisdom and good humor; the respectable vibe conveyed by his clothing was enhanced by his clear eyes, rosy cheeks, and gray hair. He spoke in a Scottish accent at first, but it was hard to tell if he was teasing his friend or speaking his native dialect since his usual speech had little regional flavor.

In answer to the queries of his respectable friend, Ramsay groaned heavily, answering by echoing back the question, “What ails me, Master George? Why, every thing ails me! I profess to you that a man may as well live in Fairyland as in the Ward of Farringdon-Without. My apprentices are turned into mere goblins—they appear and disappear like spunkies, and have no more regularity in them than a watch without a scapement. If there is a ball to be tossed up, or a bullock to be driven mad, or a quean to be ducked for scolding, or a head to be broken, Jenkin is sure to be at the one end or the other of it, and then away skips Francis Tunstall for company. I think the prize-fighters, bear-leaders, and mountebanks, are in a league against me, my dear friend, and that they pass my house ten times for any other in the city. Here's an Italian fellow come over, too, that they call Punchinello; and, altogether——”

In response to his respectable friend's questions, Ramsay sighed heavily, repeating the question, “What’s wrong with me, Master George? Well, everything's wrong! I swear that living here is like being in Fairyland compared to the Ward of Farringdon-Without. My apprentices have turned into total mischief-makers—they show up and vanish like will-o'-the-wisps, and they’re as unpredictable as a broken watch. If there’s a ball to be tossed, a bull to be provoked, a woman to be dunked for yelling, or a head to be smashed, Jenkin will definitely be involved, and then off goes Francis Tunstall for company. I think the prizefighters, bear tamers, and street performers are all in collusion against me, my dear friend, and they must pass my house ten times more often than any other in the city. And there’s this Italian guy who’s come over, too, called Punchinello; it’s just too much——”

“Well,” interrupted Master George, “but what is all this to the present case?”

“Well,” interrupted Master George, “but what does this have to do with the current situation?”

“Why,” replied Ramsay, “here has been a cry of thieves or murder, (I hope that will prove the least of it amongst these English pock-pudding swine!) and I have been interrupted in the deepest calculation ever mortal man plunged into, Master George.”

“Why,” replied Ramsay, “there’s been a shout about thieves or murder, (I hope that turns out to be the least of it with these English porky fools!) and I’ve been interrupted in the deepest thoughts I’ve ever had, Master George.”

“What, man!” replied Master George, “you must take patience—You are a man that deals in time, and can make it go fast and slow at pleasure; you, of all the world, have least reason to complain, if a little of it be lost now and then.—But here come your boys, and bringing in a slain man betwixt them, I think—here has been serious mischief, I am afraid.”

“What’s up, man!” replied Master George, “you need to be patient—You’re a guy who works with time and can make it speed up or slow down whenever you want; you, more than anyone else, have no reason to complain if you lose a little time now and then.—But here come your boys, bringing in a dead man between them. I think—this looks like serious trouble, I’m afraid.”

“The more mischief the better sport,” said the crabbed old watchmaker. “I am blithe, though, that it's neither of the twa loons themselves.—What are ye bringing a corpse here for, ye fause villains?” he added, addressing the two apprentices, who, at the head of a considerable mob of their own class, some of whom bore evident marks of a recent fray, were carrying the body betwixt them.

“The more trouble, the more fun,” said the grumpy old watchmaker. “I’m glad, though, that it’s neither of the two idiots themselves.—What are you bringing a dead body here for, you deceitful villains?” he added, speaking to the two apprentices, who, leading a sizable crowd of their peers, some of whom showed obvious signs of a recent fight, were carrying the body between them.

“He is not dead yet, sir,” answered Tunstall.

“He's not dead yet, sir,” Tunstall replied.

“Carry him into the apothecary's, then,” replied his master. “D'ye think I can set a man's life in motion again, as if he were a clock or a timepiece?”

“Take him into the pharmacist's, then,” replied his master. “Do you think I can restart a man's life like he’s a clock or a watch?”

“For godsake, old friend,” said his acquaintance, “let us have him here at the nearest—he seems only in a swoon.”

“For goodness' sake, old friend,” said his acquaintance, “let's get him here to the nearest place—he just seems to be unconscious.”

“A swoon?” said Ramsay, “and what business had he to swoon in the streets? Only, if it will oblige my friend Master George, I would take in all the dead men in St. Dunstan's parish. Call Sam Porter to look after the shop.” So saying, the stunned man, being the identical Scotsman who had passed a short time before amidst the jeers of the apprentices, was carried into the back shop of the artist, and there placed in an armed chair till the apothecary from over the way came to his assistance. This gentleman, as sometimes happens to those of the learned professions, had rather more lore than knowledge, and began to talk of the sinciput and occiput, and cerebrum and cerebellum, until he exhausted David Ramsay's brief stock of patience.

“A faint?” said Ramsay, “and what right did he have to faint in the streets? Only, if it helps my friend Master George, I’ll take in all the dead men in St. Dunstan's parish. Call Sam Porter to take care of the shop.” With that, the dazed man, the same Scotsman who had just passed by amidst the mocking of the apprentices, was carried into the artist's back shop and placed in an armchair until the apothecary from across the street came to assist him. This gentleman, as is sometimes the case with learned professionals, had more theory than practical knowledge, and began to talk about the sinciput and occiput, and cerebrum and cerebellum, until he wore down David Ramsay's already limited patience.

“Bell-um! bell-ell-um!” he repeated, with great indignation; “What signify all the bells in London, if you do not put a plaster on the child's crown?”

“Bell-um! bell-ell-um!” he repeated, with great anger; “What do all the bells in London matter, if you don’t put a bandage on the child’s head?”

Master George, with better-directed zeal, asked the apothecary whether bleeding might not be useful; when, after humming and hawing for a moment, and being unable, upon the spur of the occasion, to suggest any thing else, the man of pharmacy observed, that it would, at all events, relieve the brain or cerebrum, in case there was a tendency to the depositation of any extravasated blood, to operate as a pressure upon that delicate organ.

Master George, with more focused enthusiasm, asked the apothecary if bleeding might be helpful. After hesitating for a moment and struggling to come up with anything else to suggest, the pharmacist noted that it could, in any case, relieve the brain or cerebrum if there was a risk of any pooled blood putting pressure on that sensitive organ.

Fortunately he was adequate to performing this operation; and, being powerfully aided by Jenkin Vincent (who was learned in all cases of broken heads) with plenty of cold water, and a little vinegar, applied according to the scientific method practised by the bottle-holders in a modern ring, the man began to raise himself on his chair, draw his cloak tightly around him, and look about like one who struggles to recover sense and recollection.

Fortunately, he was capable of handling this situation; and, with strong support from Jenkin Vincent (who was knowledgeable about injuries to the head) using plenty of cold water and a bit of vinegar, applied according to the scientific methods used by the corner men in a modern boxing match, the man started to lift himself in his chair, wrap his cloak tightly around him, and look around like someone trying to regain their senses and memory.

“He had better lie down on the bed in the little back closet,” said Mr. Ramsay's visitor, who seemed perfectly familiar with the accommodations which the house afforded.

“He should probably lie down on the bed in the small back closet,” said Mr. Ramsay's visitor, who seemed completely familiar with the house's layout.

“He is welcome to my share of the truckle,” said Jenkin,—for in the said back closet were the two apprentices accommodated in one truckle-bed,—“I can sleep under the counter.”

“He’s welcome to my part of the truckle,” said Jenkin,—because in that back closet were the two apprentices sharing one truckle-bed,—“I can sleep under the counter.”

“So can I,” said Tunstall, “and the poor fellow can have the bed all night.”

“So can I,” Tunstall said, “and the poor guy can have the bed all night.”

“Sleep,” said the apothecary, “is, in the opinion of Galen, a restorative and febrifuge, and is most naturally taken in a truckle-bed.”

“Sleep,” said the pharmacist, “is, according to Galen, a remedy and fever reducer, and is best enjoyed in a low bed.”

“Where a better cannot be come by,”—said Master George; “but these are two honest lads, to give up their beds so willingly. Come, off with his cloak, and let us bear him to his couch—I will send for Dr. Irving, the king's chirurgeon—he does not live far off, and that shall be my share of the Samaritan's duty, neighbour Ramsay.”

“Where a better option isn't available,” said Master George, “but these are two good guys, so ready to give up their beds. Come on, take off his cloak, and let’s get him to his bed—I'll call for Dr. Irving, the king's surgeon—he doesn’t live far away, and that will be my part of the good neighbor duty, neighbor Ramsay.”

“Well, sir,” said the apothecary, “it is at your pleasure to send for other advice, and I shall not object to consult with Dr. Irving or any other medical person of skill, neither to continue to furnish such drugs as may be needful from my pharmacopeia. However, whatever Dr. Irving, who, I think, hath had his degrees in Edinburgh, or Dr. Any-one-beside, be he Scottish or English, may say to the contrary, sleep, taken timeously, is a febrifuge, or sedative, and also a restorative.”

“Well, sir,” said the apothecary, “it’s up to you to get a second opinion, and I won’t mind if you want to consult with Dr. Irving or any other skilled medical professional. I’m also happy to provide any medications you might need from my pharmacy. However, no matter what Dr. Irving, who I believe has his degrees from Edinburgh, or any other doctor, whether Scottish or English, might say otherwise, getting enough sleep at the right time is a way to reduce fever, calm the mind, and help with recovery.”

He muttered a few more learned words, and concluded by informing Ramsay's friend in English far more intelligible than his Latin, that he would look to him as his paymaster, for medicines, care, and attendance, furnished, or to be furnished, to this party unknown.

He mumbled a few more technical terms and finished by telling Ramsay's friend in English that was much clearer than his Latin, that he would consider him his payer for the medicines, care, and services provided or to be provided to this unknown person.

Master George only replied by desiring him to send his bill for what he had already to charge, and to give himself no farther trouble unless he heard from him. The pharmacopolist, who, from discoveries made by the cloak falling a little aside, had no great opinion of the faculty of this chance patient to make reimbursement, had no sooner seen his case espoused by a substantial citizen, than he showed some reluctance to quit possession of it, and it needed a short and stern hint from Master George, which, with all his good-humour, he was capable of expressing when occasion required, to send to his own dwelling this Esculapius of Temple Bar.

Master George simply told him to send his bill for what he had already charged and not to worry about it further unless he heard from him. The pharmacist, who, after noticing some details from the cloak that had slipped a bit, didn't think much of this patient's ability to pay, was quick to show some hesitation in letting go of his case once he saw it was backed by a prominent citizen. It took a brief and firm reminder from Master George, which he could express with all his good humor when the situation called for it, to send this doctor from Temple Bar back to his own place.

When they were rid of Mr. Raredrench, the charitable efforts of Jenkin and Francis, to divest the patient of his long grey cloak, were firmly resisted on his own part.—“My life suner—my life suner,” he muttered in indistinct murmurs. In these efforts to retain his upper garment, which was too tender to resist much handling, it gave way at length with a loud rent, which almost threw the patient into a second syncope, and he sat before them in his under garments, the looped and repaired wretchedness of which moved at once pity and laughter, and had certainly been the cause of his unwillingness to resign the mantle, which, like the virtue of charity, served to cover so many imperfections.

Once they got rid of Mr. Raredrench, Jenkin and Francis tried hard to take the patient’s long gray cloak from him, but he strongly resisted. “My life, my life,” he mumbled in unclear whispers. During their attempts to remove the cloak, which was too fragile for rough handling, it finally tore loudly, nearly causing the patient to faint again. He sat there in his undershirts, the tattered and patched clothes evoking both pity and laughter, which was certainly why he didn’t want to give up the cloak that, like the virtue of charity, hid so many flaws.

The man himself cast his eyes on his poverty-struck garb, and seemed so much ashamed of the disclosure, that, muttering between his teeth, that he would be too late for his appointment, he made an effort to rise and leave the shop, which was easily prevented by Jenkin Vincent and his comrade, who, at the nod of Master George, laid hold of and detained him in his chair.

The man looked at his shabby clothes and seemed so embarrassed by it that, muttering to himself about being late for his appointment, he tried to get up and leave the shop. However, Jenkin Vincent and his friend, at Master George's nod, grabbed him and held him back in his chair.

The patient next looked round him for a moment, and then said faintly, in his broad northern language—“What sort of usage ca' ye this, gentlemen, to a stranger a sojourner in your town? Ye hae broken my head—ye hae riven my cloak, and now ye are for restraining my personal liberty! They were wiser than me,” he said, after a moment's pause, “that counselled me to wear my warst claithing in the streets of London; and, if I could have got ony things warse than these mean garments,”—(“which would have been very difficult,” said Jin Vin, in a whisper to his companion,)—“they would have been e'en ower gude for the grips o' men sae little acquented with the laws of honest civility.”

The patient looked around for a moment, then said quietly, in his broad northern accent, “What kind of treatment is this, gentlemen, for a stranger visiting your town? You’ve broken my head—you’ve ripped my cloak, and now you’re trying to restrict my personal freedom! They were smarter than me,” he continued after a brief pause, “who advised me to wear my worst clothing in the streets of London; and if I could have found anything worse than these shabby clothes,”—(“which would have been quite difficult,” Jin Vin whispered to his companion)—“they would have been too good for the likes of men so unfamiliar with the rules of basic civility.”

“To say the truth,” said Jenkin, unable to forbear any longer, although the discipline of the times prescribed to those in his situation a degree of respectful distance and humility in the presence of parents, masters, or seniors, of which the present age has no idea—“to say the truth, the good gentleman's clothes look as if they would not brook much handling.”

“To be honest,” said Jenkin, unable to hold back any longer, even though the norms of the time required people in his position to show a certain level of respect and humility around parents, authority figures, or elders—something today's society has no concept of—“to be honest, that gentleman's clothes look like they couldn't take much abuse.”

“Hold your peace, young man,” said Master George, with a tone of authority; “never mock the stranger or the poor—the black ox has not trod on your foot yet—you know not what lands you may travel in, or what clothes you may wear, before you die.”

“Be quiet, young man,” said Master George, with an authoritative tone; “never make fun of the stranger or the poor— the black ox hasn’t stepped on your foot yet—you don’t know what places you might visit or what clothes you might wear before you die.”

Vincent held down his head and stood rebuked, but the stranger did not accept the apology which was made for him.

Vincent lowered his head, feeling ashamed, but the stranger didn't accept the apology that was offered on his behalf.

“I am a stranger, sir,” said he, “that is certain; though methinks, that, being such, I have been somewhat familiarly treated in this town of yours; but, as for my being poor, I think I need not be charged with poverty, till I seek siller of somebody.”

“I am a stranger, sir,” he said, “that’s for sure; although I must say, being a stranger, I've been treated quite warmly in your town. As for being poor, I don’t think I should be considered poor until I ask someone for money.”

“The dear country all over,” said Master George, in a whisper, to David Ramsay, “pride and poverty.”

“The beloved country everywhere,” said Master George, quietly to David Ramsay, “pride and poverty.”

But David had taken out his tablets and silver pen, and, deeply immersed in calculations, in which he rambled over all the terms of arithmetic, from the simple unit to millions, billions, and trillions, neither heard nor answered the observation of his friend, who, seeing his abstraction, turned again to the Scot.

But David had pulled out his calculator and silver pen, and, totally absorbed in his calculations, he went through all the terms of arithmetic, from simple numbers to millions, billions, and trillions, not hearing or responding to his friend's comment, who, noticing his distraction, turned back to the Scot.

“I fancy now, Jockey, if a stranger were to offer you a noble, you would chuck it back at his head?”

“I imagine, Jockey, that if a stranger offered you a coin, you would throw it back at him?”

“Not if I could do him honest service for it, sir,” said the Scot; “I am willing to do what I may to be useful, though I come of an honourable house, and may be said to be in a sort indifferently weel provided for.”

“Not if I could be of real help to him for it, sir,” said the Scot; “I’m ready to do whatever I can to be useful, even though I come from a respected family and can be considered, in a way, to be reasonably well-off.”

“Ay!” said the interrogator, “and what house may claim the honour of your descent?”

“Ay!” said the interrogator, “and which house can claim the honor of your lineage?”

“An ancient coat belongs to it, as the play says,” whispered Vincent to his companion.

“An ancient coat belongs to it, as the play says,” whispered Vincent to his friend.

“Come, Jockey, out with it,” continued Master George, observing that the Scot, as usual with his countrymen, when asked a blunt, straightforward question, took a little time before answering it.

“Come on, Jockey, spill it,” continued Master George, noticing that the Scot, like most people from his country, needed a moment to respond when asked a direct question.

“I am no more Jockey, sir, than you are John,” said the stranger, as if offended at being addressed by a name, which at that time was used, as Sawney now is, for a general appellative of the Scottish nation. “My name, if you must know it, is Richie Moniplies; and I come of the old and honourable house of Castle Collop, weel kend at the West-Port of Edinburgh.”

“I’m no more Jockey than you are John,” said the stranger, sounding offended at being called a name that was commonly used at the time, like Sawney is now for anyone from Scotland. “If you really want to know, my name is Richie Moniplies, and I come from the old and respected family of Castle Collop, well-known at the West-Port of Edinburgh.”

“What is that you call the West-Port?” proceeded the interrogator.

“What do you mean by the West-Port?” continued the questioner.

“Why, an it like your honour,” said Richie, who now, having recovered his senses sufficiently to observe the respectable exterior of Master George, threw more civility into his manner than at first, “the West-Port is a gate of our city, as yonder brick arches at Whitehall form the entrance of the king's palace here, only that the West-Port is of stonern work, and mair decorated with architecture and the policy of bigging.”

“Why, if it pleases you, sir,” said Richie, who now, having regained enough composure to notice Master George's respectable appearance, was a bit more polite than before, “the West-Port is a gateway to our city, just like those brick arches at Whitehall serve as the entrance to the king's palace here, except that the West-Port is made of stone and is more beautifully designed with architecture and construction.”

“Nouns, man, the Whitehall gateways were planned by the great Holbein,” answered Master George; “I suspect your accident has jumbled your brains, my good friend. I suppose you will tell me next, you have at Edinburgh as fine a navigable river as the Thames, with all its shipping?”

“Nouns, man, the Whitehall gates were designed by the great Holbein,” replied Master George. “I suspect your accident has scrambled your brains, my good friend. I guess you’ll tell me next that you’ve got a river in Edinburgh as navigable as the Thames, along with all its shipping?”

“The Thames!” exclaimed Richie, in a tone of ineffable contempt—“God bless your honour's judgment, we have at Edinburgh the Water-of-Leith and the Nor-loch!”

“The Thames!” Rich exclaimed, with utter disdain—“God bless your judgment, we have the Water-of-Leith and the Nor-loch in Edinburgh!”

“And the Pow-Burn, and the Quarry-holes, and the Gusedub, ye fause loon!” answered Master George, speaking Scotch with a strong and natural emphasis; “it is such land-loupers as you, that, with your falset and fair fashions, bring reproach on our whole country.”

“And the Pow-Burn, and the Quarry-holes, and the Gusedub, you dishonest fool!” answered Master George, speaking Scots with a strong and natural emphasis; “it’s people like you, with your lies and deceitful ways, who bring shame on our entire country.”

“God forgie me, sir,” said Richie, much surprised at finding the supposed southron converted into a native Scot, “I took your honour for an Englisher! But I hope there was naething wrang in standing up for ane's ain country's credit in a strange land, where all men cry her down?”

“God forgive me, sir,” said Richie, greatly surprised to discover that the supposed Englishman was actually a native Scot, “I thought you were an Englishman! But I hope there’s nothing wrong with defending one’s own country’s reputation in a foreign land, where everyone speaks ill of it?”

“Do you call it for your country's credit, to show that she has a lying, puffing rascal, for one of her children?” said Master George. “But come, man, never look grave on it,—as you have found a countryman, so you have found a friend, if you deserve one—and especially if you answer me truly.”

“Do you think it reflects well on your country to have a deceitful, bragging jerk as one of its own?” said Master George. “But come on, don’t take it too seriously—since you’ve found a fellow countryman, you’ve also found a friend, if you’re worthy of one—and especially if you answer me honestly.”

“I see nae gude it wad do me to speak ought else but truth,” said the worthy North Briton.

“I don’t see any good in saying anything other than the truth,” said the honorable North Briton.

“Well, then—to begin,” said Master George, “I suspect you are a son of old Mungo Moniplies, the flesher, at the West-Port.”

“Well, then—to start,” said Master George, “I think you’re the son of old Mungo Moniplies, the butcher, at the West-Port.”

“Your honour is a witch, I think,” said Richie, grinning.

“Your honor is a witch, I think,” said Richie, grinning.

“And how dared you, sir, to uphold him for a noble?”

“And how dare you, sir, to support him as a noble?”

“I dinna ken, sir,” said Richie, scratching his head; “I hear muckle of an Earl of Warwick in these southern parts,—Guy, I think his name was,—and he has great reputation here for slaying dun cows, and boars, and such like; and I am sure my father has killed more cows and boars, not to mention bulls, calves, sheep, ewes, lambs, and pigs, than the haill Baronage of England.”

“I don’t know, sir,” said Richie, scratching his head. “I’ve heard a lot about an Earl of Warwick around here—Guy, I think his name is—and he’s got quite a reputation for taking down wild cows and boars and things like that. But I’m sure my dad has killed more cows and boars, not to mention bulls, calves, sheep, ewes, lambs, and pigs, than all the nobility in England combined.”

“Go to! you are a shrewd knave,” said Master George; “charm your tongue, and take care of saucy answers. Your father was an honest burgher, and the deacon of his craft: I am sorry to see his son in so poor a coat.”

“Come on! You’re a clever trickster,” said Master George; “watch your words and be careful with your smart remarks. Your father was an honest tradesman and the leader of his guild: I’m sad to see his son in such a shabby coat.”

“Indifferent, sir,” said Richie Moniplies, looking down on his garments—“very indifferent; but it is the wonted livery of poor burghers' sons in our country—one of Luckie Want's bestowing upon us—rest us patient! The king's leaving Scotland has taken all custom frae Edinburgh; and there is hay made at the Cross, and a dainty crop of fouats in the Grass-market. There is as much grass grows where my father's stall stood, as might have been a good bite for the beasts he was used to kill.”

“Indifferent, sir,” said Richie Moniplies, looking down at his clothes—“very indifferent; but it’s the usual outfit of poor townspeople’s sons in our country—one of Luckie Want’s gifts to us—may we endure patiently! The king’s departure from Scotland has taken all business away from Edinburgh; and there’s hay to be made at the Cross, along with a nice crop of weeds in the Grass-market. There’s as much grass growing where my father’s stall stood, as would have been a decent meal for the animals he used to slaughter.”

“It is even too true,” said Master George; “and while we make fortunes here, our old neighbours and their families are starving at home. This should be thought upon oftener.—And how came you by that broken head, Richie?—tell me honestly.”

“It’s way too true,” said Master George; “and while we’re making a fortune here, our old neighbors and their families are starving back home. We should think about this more often.—And how did you get that broken head, Richie?—tell me the truth.”

“Troth, sir, I'se no lee about the matter,” answered Moniplies. “I was coming along the street here, and ilk ane was at me with their jests and roguery. So I thought to mysell, ye are ower mony for me to mell with; but let me catch ye in Barford's Park, or at the fit of the Vennel, I could gar some of ye sing another sang. Sae ae auld hirpling deevil of a potter behoved just to step in my way and offer me a pig, as he said, just to put my Scotch ointment in, and I gave him a push, as but natural, and the tottering deevil coupit ower amang his ain pigs, and damaged a score of them. And then the reird raise, and hadna these twa gentlemen helped me out of it, murdered I suld hae been, without remeid. And as it was, just when they got haud of my arm to have me out of the fray, I got the lick that donnerit me from a left-handed lighterman.”

“Honestly, sir, I’m not lying about this,” Moniplies replied. “I was walking down the street here, and everyone was making jokes and being cheeky with me. So I thought to myself, you’re too many for me to deal with; but let me catch you in Barford's Park, or at the bottom of the Vennel, I could make some of you sing a different tune. So an old, stumbling potter just happened to get in my way and offered me a pig, as he said, just to put my Scotch ointment in, and I pushed him, as was natural, and the clumsy devil fell over among his own pigs and damaged several of them. Then the fuss started, and if those two gentlemen hadn’t helped me out of it, I would have been done for, no question about it. And just as they grabbed my arm to pull me out of the fight, I got a hit from a left-handed lighterman that knocked me out.”

Master George looked to the apprentices as if to demand the truth of this story.

Master George looked at the apprentices, as if expecting them to reveal the truth behind this story.

“It is just as he says, sir,” replied Jenkin; “only I heard nothing about pigs.—The people said he had broke some crockery, and that—I beg pardon, sir—nobody could thrive within the kenning of a Scot.”

“It’s exactly how he said, sir,” replied Jenkin; “but I didn’t hear anything about pigs. The people said he broke some dishes, and that—I apologize, sir—nobody could succeed around a Scot.”

“Well, no matter what they said, you were an honest fellow to help the weaker side.—And you, sirrah,” continued Master George, addressing his countryman, “will call at my house to-morrow morning, agreeable to this direction.”

“Well, no matter what they said, you were a good person to help the weaker side.—And you, my friend,” continued Master George, addressing his fellow countryman, “will stop by my house tomorrow morning as per this instruction.”

“I will wait upon your honour,” said the Scot, bowing very low; “that is, if my honourable master will permit me.”

“I will wait for your honor,” said the Scot, bowing deeply; “that is, if my respected master allows it.”

“Thy master?” said George,—“Hast thou any other master save Want, whose livery you say you wear?”

“Your master?” said George, “Do you have any other master besides Want, whose uniform you say you're wearing?”

“Troth, in one sense, if it please your honour, I serve twa masters,” said Richie; “for both my master and me are slaves to that same beldam, whom we thought to show our heels to by coming off from Scotland. So that you see, sir, I hold in a sort of black ward tenure, as we call it in our country, being the servant of a servant.”

“Honestly, if it’s all right with you, I serve two masters,” said Richie; “because both my master and I are at the mercy of that same old woman, whom we thought we could escape by leaving Scotland. So you see, sir, I’m kind of in a tricky position, as we say in our country, being the servant of a servant.”

“And what is your master's name?” said Master George; and observing that Richie hesitated, he added, “Nay, do not tell me, if it is a secret.”

“And what’s your master's name?” said Master George; and noticing that Richie hesitated, he added, “No, don't tell me if it’s a secret.”

“A secret that there is little use in keeping,” said Richie; “only ye ken that our northern stomachs are ower proud to call in witnesses to our distress. No that my master is in mair than present pinch, sir,” he added, looking towards the two English apprentices, “having a large sum in the Royal Treasury—that is,” he continued, in a whisper to Master George,—“the king is owing him a lot of siller; but it's ill getting at it, it's like.—My master is the young Lord Glenvarloch.”

“A secret that's not really worth keeping,” said Richie; “you know that our northern pride prevents us from getting others involved in our troubles. Not that my master is in more than just a tight spot, sir,” he added, glancing at the two English apprentices, “since he has a large amount in the Royal Treasury—that is,” he continued, in a whisper to Master George, “the king owes him a lot of money; but it's hard to get to it, it's like—My master is the young Lord Glenvarloch.”

Master George testified surprise at the name.—“You one of the young Lord Glenvarloch's followers, and in such a condition?”

Master George expressed surprise at the name.—“You one of the young Lord Glenvarloch's followers, and in such a state?”

“Troth, and I am all the followers he has, for the present that is; and blithe wad I be if he were muckle better aff than I am, though I were to bide as I am.”

“Honestly, I’m all the support he has at the moment; and I would be really happy if he were much better off than I am, even if I stayed the same.”

“I have seen his father with four gentlemen and ten lackeys at his heels,” said Master George, “rustling in their laces and velvets. Well, this is a changeful world, but there is a better beyond it.—The good old house of Glenvarloch, that stood by king and country five hundred years!”

“I’ve seen his dad with four guys and ten servants trailing behind him,” said Master George, “dressed in their fancy clothes. Well, this world keeps changing, but there’s something better waiting beyond it.—The good old house of Glenvarloch, that supported the king and the country for five hundred years!”

“Your honour may say a thousand,” said the follower.

“Your honor can say a thousand,” said the follower.

“I will say what I know to be true, friend,” said the citizen, “and not a word more.—You seem well recovered now—can you walk?”

“I’ll tell you what I know to be true, my friend,” said the citizen, “and nothing more. You seem to be doing better now—can you walk?”

“Bravely, sir,” said Richie; “it was but a bit dover. I was bred at the West-Port, and my cantle will stand a clour wad bring a stot down.”

“Bravely, sir,” said Richie; “it was just a little bump. I grew up in the West-Port, and my back can take a hit that would knock down a bull.”

“Where does your master lodge?”

"Where does your boss stay?"

“We pit up, an it like your honour,” replied the Scot, “in a sma' house at the fit of ane of the wynds that gang down to the water-side, with a decent man, John Christie, a ship-chandler, as they ca't. His father came from Dundee. I wotna the name of the wynd, but it's right anent the mickle kirk yonder; and your honour will mind, that we pass only by our family-name of simple Mr. Nigel Olifaunt, as keeping ourselves retired for the present, though in Scotland we be called the Lord Nigel.”

“We set up in a small house at the bottom of one of the alleys that lead down to the waterside, with a decent guy named John Christie, who runs a ship-chandler. His father came from Dundee. I don’t remember the name of the alley, but it’s right next to that big church over there; and you’ll recall that we go by our family name of plain Mr. Nigel Olifaunt, as we’re keeping a low profile for now, although in Scotland, we’re known as Lord Nigel.”

“It is wisely done of your master,” said the citizen. “I will find out your lodgings, though your direction be none of the clearest.” So saying, and slipping a piece of money at the same time into Richie Moniplies's hand, he bade him hasten home, and get into no more affrays.

“It’s smart of your boss,” said the citizen. “I’ll figure out where you’re staying, even though your directions aren’t the clearest.” With that, he slipped a coin into Richie Moniplies's hand and told him to hurry home and avoid any more fights.

“I will take care of that now, sir,” said Richie, with a look of importance, “having a charge about me. And so, wussing ye a' weel, with special thanks to these twa young gentlemen——”

“I’ll handle that now, sir,” said Richie, looking serious, “since I’m responsible for it. And so, I wish you all well, with special thanks to these two young gentlemen——”

“I am no gentleman,” said Jenkin, flinging his cap on his head; “I am a tight London 'prentice, and hope to be a freeman one day. Frank may write himself gentleman, if he will.”

“I’m no gentleman,” said Jenkin, putting his cap on his head. “I’m just a hardworking apprentice from London, and I hope to be a freeman one day. Frank can call himself a gentleman if he wants.”

“I was a gentleman once,” said Tunstall, “and I hope I have done nothing to lose the name of one.”

“I was a gentleman once,” said Tunstall, “and I hope I haven't done anything to lose that title.”

“Weel, weel, as ye list,” said Richie Moniplies; “but I am mickle beholden to ye baith—and I am not a hair the less like to bear it in mind that I say but little about it just now.—Gude-night to you, my kind countryman.” So saying, he thrust out of the sleeve of his ragged doublet a long bony hand and arm, on which the muscles rose like whip-cord. Master George shook it heartily, while Jenkin and Frank exchanged sly looks with each other.

“Well, well, as you wish,” said Richie Moniplies; “but I’m really grateful to both of you—and I won’t forget that even if I don’t say much about it right now. Good night to you, my dear countryman.” With that, he extended a long, bony hand and arm from the sleeve of his tattered doublet, the muscles standing out like whip cords. Master George shook it warmly, while Jenkin and Frank exchanged knowing glances.

Richie Moniplies would next have addressed his thanks to the master of the shop, but seeing him, as he afterwards said, “scribbling on his bit bookie, as if he were demented,” he contented his politeness with “giving him a hat,” touching, that is, his bonnet, in token of salutation, and so left the shop.

Richie Moniplies would have thanked the shop owner, but when he saw him, as he later put it, “scribbling in his little notebook like he was crazy,” he settled for being polite by tipping his hat, which meant touching his cap as a greeting, and then he left the shop.

“Now, there goes Scotch Jockey, with all his bad and good about him,” said Master George to Master David, who suspended, though unwillingly, the calculations with which he was engaged, and keeping his pen within an inch of the tablets, gazed on his friend with great lack-lustre eyes, which expressed any thing rather than intelligence or interest in the discourse addressed to him.—“That fellow,” proceeded Master George, without heeding his friend's state of abstraction, “shows, with great liveliness of colouring, how our Scotch pride and poverty make liars and braggarts of us; and yet the knave, whose every third word to an Englishman is a boastful lie, will, I warrant you, be a true and tender friend and follower to his master, and has perhaps parted with his mantle to him in the cold blast, although he himself walked in cuerpo, as the Don says.—Strange! that courage and fidelity—for I will warrant that the knave is stout—should have no better companion than this swaggering braggadocio humour.—But you mark me not, friend Davie.”

“Look at Scotch Jockey, with all his good and bad qualities,” Master George said to Master David, who reluctantly paused the calculations he was working on, keeping his pen just an inch from the tablets as he stared at his friend with blank eyes that expressed anything but intelligence or interest in the conversation. “That guy,” Master George continued, ignoring his friend’s distraction, “vividly shows how our Scottish pride and poverty turn us into liars and braggarts; yet, I bet you, that rogue, whose every third word to an Englishman is a boastful lie, will be a loyal and caring friend and follower to his master. He might have even given him his coat in the cold wind, while he himself walked around in his shirt, as the Don says. It’s odd that bravery and loyalty—because I’m sure that rogue is brave—should be paired with such a swaggering, boastful attitude. But you’re not really listening to me, are you, Davie?”

“I do—I do, most heedfully,” said Davie.—“For, as the sun goeth round the dial-plate in twenty-four hours, add, for the moon, fifty minutes and a half——”

“I do—I do, very carefully,” said Davie. “For just as the sun moves around the dial in twenty-four hours, you add fifty minutes and a half for the moon—”

“You are in the seventh heavens, man,” said his companion.

“You're on cloud nine, man,” said his friend.

“I crave your pardon,” replied Davie.—“Let the wheel A go round in twenty-four hours—I have it—and the wheel B in twenty-four hours, fifty minutes and a half—fifty-seven being to fifty-four, as fifty-nine to twenty-four hours, fifty minutes and a half, or very nearly,—I crave your forgiveness, Master George, and heartily wish you good-even.”

“I beg your pardon,” Davie replied. “Let wheel A turn in twenty-four hours—I have that—and wheel B in twenty-four hours, fifty minutes, and a half—fifty-seven to fifty-four is like fifty-nine to twenty-four hours, fifty minutes, and a half, or very close to it. I ask for your forgiveness, Master George, and I sincerely wish you a good evening.”

“Good-even?” said Master George; “why, you have not wished me good-day yet. Come, old friend, lay by these tablets, or you will crack the inner machinery of your skull, as our friend yonder has got the outer-case of his damaged.—Good-night, quotha! I mean not to part with you so easily. I came to get my four hours' nunchion from you, man, besides a tune on the lute from my god-daughter, Mrs. Marget.”

“Good evening?” said Master George; “you haven't wished me a good day yet. Come on, old friend, put those tablets away, or you’ll mess up the inner workings of your head, just like our friend over there has damaged the outer case of his. —Goodnight, right? I’m not looking to leave you so easily. I came to get my four hours' chat from you, man, plus a tune on the lute from my goddaughter, Mrs. Marget.”

“Good faith! I was abstracted, Master George—but you know me. Whenever I get amongst the wheels,” said Mr. Ramsay, “why, 'tis——”

“Goodness! I was lost in thought, Master George—but you know me. Whenever I get around the machines,” said Mr. Ramsay, “well, it’s—”

“Lucky that you deal in small ones,” said his friend; as, awakened from his reveries and calculations, Ramsay led the way up a little back-stair to the first storey, occupied by his daughter and his little household.

“Lucky that you work with small ones,” said his friend; as Ramsay, brought back from his thoughts and calculations, led the way up a small back staircase to the first floor, where his daughter and his little household were.

The apprentices resumed their places in the front-shop, and relieved Sam Porter; when Jenkin said to Tunstall—“Didst see, Frank, how the old goldsmith cottoned in with his beggarly countryman? When would one of his wealth have shaken hands so courteously with a poor Englishman?—Well, I'll say that for the best of the Scots, that they will go over head and ears to serve a countryman, when they will not wet a nail of their finger to save a Southron, as they call us, from drowning. And yet Master George is but half-bred Scot neither in that respect; for I have known him do many a kind thing to the English too.”

The apprentices took their spots in the front shop and relieved Sam Porter. Jenkin turned to Tunstall and said, “Did you see, Frank, how the old goldsmith was so friendly with his poor countryman? When would someone with his wealth shake hands so kindly with a poor Englishman? Well, I’ll give the Scots credit for this: they’ll go all out to help a fellow countryman, while they wouldn’t lift a finger to save a Southron, as they call us, from drowning. And yet Master George isn’t really a true Scot in that way either; I’ve seen him do many nice things for the English too.”

“But hark ye, Jenkin,” said Tunstall, “I think you are but half-bred English yourself. How came you to strike on the Scotsman's side after all?”

“But listen, Jenkin,” said Tunstall, “I think you’re only half English yourself. How did you end up siding with the Scotsman after all?”

“Why, you did so, too,” answered Vincent.

"Well, you did it too," Vincent replied.

“Ay, because I saw you begin; and, besides, it is no Cumberland fashion to fall fifty upon one,” replied Tunstall.

“Yeah, because I saw you start; and besides, it’s not a Cumberland style to gang up on one person with fifty,” Tunstall replied.

“And no Christ Church fashion neither,” said Jenkin. “Fair play and Old England for ever!—Besides, to tell you a secret, his voice had a twang in it—in the dialect I mean—reminded me of a little tongue, which I think sweeter—sweeter than the last toll of St. Dunstan's will sound, on the day that I am shot of my indentures—Ha!—you guess who I mean, Frank?”

“And no Christ Church style either,” said Jenkin. “Fair play and Old England forever!—Plus, to let you in on a secret, his voice had a bit of a twang to it—in the dialect I mean—it reminded me of a certain little tongue, which I find sweeter—sweeter than the last toll of St. Dunstan's will sound on the day I finish my apprenticeship—Ha!—you know who I'm talking about, Frank?”

“Not I, indeed,” answered Tunstall.—“Scotch Janet, I suppose, the laundress.”

“Not me, for sure,” replied Tunstall. “I guess it's Scotch Janet, the laundress.”

“Off with Janet in her own bucking-basket!—No, no, no!—You blind buzzard,—do you not know I mean pretty Mrs. Marget?”

“Off with Janet in her own bucking-basket!—No, no, no!—You blind buzzard, don’t you know I mean the lovely Mrs. Marget?”

“Umph!” answered Tunstall, dryly.

“Yeah,” answered Tunstall, dryly.

A flash of anger, not unmingled with suspicion, shot from Jenkin's keen black eyes.

A flash of anger, mixed with suspicion, darted from Jenkin's sharp black eyes.

“Umph!—and what signifies umph? I am not the first 'prentice has married his master's daughter, I suppose?”

“Ugh!—and what does ugh even mean? I’m not the first apprentice to marry his boss's daughter, am I?”

“They kept their own secret, I fancy,” said Tunstall, “at least till they were out of their time.”

“They probably kept their own secret,” Tunstall said, “at least until they were finished with their time.”

“I tell you what it is, Frank,” answered Jenkin, sharply, “that may be the fashion of you gentlefolks, that are taught from your biggin to carry two faces under the same hood, but it shall never be mine.”

“I’ll tell you what it is, Frank,” Jenkin replied sharply, “that might be how you upper-class folks roll, taught from a young age to wear two faces under the same hood, but it will never be me.”

“There are the stairs, then,” said Tunstall, coolly; “go up and ask Mrs. Marget of our master just now, and see what sort of a face he will wear under his hood.”

“There are the stairs, then,” Tunstall said calmly. “Go up and ask Mrs. Marget about our master right now, and see what kind of expression he’ll have under his hood.”

“No, I wonnot,” answered Jenkin; “I am not such a fool as that neither. But I will take my own time; and all the Counts in Cumberland shall not cut my comb, and this is that which you may depend upon.”

“No, I won’t,” answered Jenkin; “I’m not that much of a fool. But I’ll take my own time, and none of the Counts in Cumberland are going to bring me down, and you can count on that.”

Francis made no reply; and they resumed their usual attention to the business of the shop, and their usual solicitations to the passengers.

Francis didn’t respond, and they went back to focusing on the shop’s business and speaking to the customers as they usually did.










CHAPTER III

Bobadil. I pray you, possess no gallant of your acquaintance with a knowledge of my lodging. Master Matthew. Who, I, sir?—Lord, sir! Ben Jonson.

Bobadil. Please, make sure none of your friends know where I stay. Master Matthew. Me, sir?—Oh my! Ben Jonson.

The next morning found Nigel Olifaunt, the young Lord of Glenvarloch, seated, sad and solitary, in his little apartment, in the mansion of John Christie, the ship-chandler; which that honest tradesman, in gratitude perhaps to the profession from which he derived his chief support, appeared to have constructed as nearly as possible upon the plan of a ship's cabin.

The next morning, Nigel Olifaunt, the young Lord of Glenvarloch, sat alone and sad in his small room in the house of John Christie, the ship-chandler. This honest tradesman, perhaps out of gratitude for the career that provided his main income, seemed to have designed the room to resemble a ship's cabin as closely as possible.

It was situated near to Paul's Wharf, at the end of one of those intricate and narrow lanes, which, until that part of the city was swept away by the Great Fire in 1666, constituted an extraordinary labyrinth of small, dark, damp, and unwholesome streets and alleys, in one corner or other of which the plague was then as surely found lurking, as in the obscure corners of Constantinople in our own time. But John Christie's house looked out upon the river, and had the advantage, therefore, of free air, impregnated, however, with the odoriferous fumes of the articles in which the ship-chandler dealt, with the odour of pitch, and the natural scent of the ooze and sludge left by the reflux of the tide.

It was located near Paul's Wharf, at the end of one of those complicated and narrow streets, which, until that part of the city was destroyed by the Great Fire in 1666, formed an incredible maze of small, dark, damp, and unhealthy streets and alleys, where the plague was just as likely to be found lurking, as in the hidden corners of Constantinople today. But John Christie's house overlooked the river, and so it had the advantage of fresh air, although it was mixed with the strong smells of the goods used by the ship-chandler, the scent of pitch, and the natural stench of the ooze and sludge left by the tidal flow.

Upon the whole, except that his dwelling did not float with the flood-tide, and become stranded with the ebb, the young lord was nearly as comfortably accommodated as he was while on board the little trading brig from the long town of Kirkaldy, in Fife, by which he had come a passenger to London. He received, however, every attention which could be paid him by his honest landlord, John Christie; for Richie Moniplies had not thought it necessary to preserve his master's incognito so completely, but that the honest ship-chandler could form a guess that his guest's quality was superior to his appearance.

Overall, aside from the fact that his home didn't float with the rising tide and get stuck when it went out, the young lord was almost as comfortably settled as he had been while on the small trading ship that brought him from the long town of Kirkaldy in Fife to London. He received every possible kindness from his good landlord, John Christie, because Richie Moniplies hadn’t thought it important to keep his master’s identity a complete secret, and the honest ship chandler could sense that his guest was of a higher status than he seemed.

As for Dame Nelly, his wife, a round, buxom, laughter-loving dame, with black eyes, a tight well-laced bodice, a green apron, and a red petticoat edged with a slight silver lace, and judiciously shortened so as to show that a short heel, and a tight clean ankle, rested upon her well-burnished shoe,—she, of course, felt interest in a young man, who, besides being very handsome, good-humoured, and easily satisfied with the accommodations her house afforded, was evidently of a rank, as well as manners, highly superior to the skippers (or Captains, as they called themselves) of merchant vessels, who were the usual tenants of the apartments which she let to hire; and at whose departure she was sure to find her well-scrubbed floor soiled with the relics of tobacco, (which, spite of King James's Counterblast, was then forcing itself into use,) and her best curtains impregnated with the odour of Geneva and strong waters, to Dame Nelly's great indignation; for, as she truly said, the smell of the shop and warehouse was bad enough without these additions.

As for Dame Nelly, his wife, a round, curvy woman who loved to laugh, with black eyes, a snugly laced bodice, a green apron, and a red petticoat trimmed with a hint of silver lace, which she had stylishly shortened to reveal a short heel and a neat ankle resting on her polished shoe—she was definitely interested in a young man who, besides being very handsome, cheerful, and easily pleased with the accommodations her house offered, clearly belonged to a higher rank, as well as having better manners than the skippers (or Captains, as they liked to call themselves) of merchant vessels, who usually rented her rooms. Whenever they left, she'd always find her freshly scrubbed floor dirty with remnants of tobacco (which, despite King James's Counterblast, was becoming popular), and her best curtains reeking of Geneva and strong spirits, which infuriated Dame Nelly. As she rightly pointed out, the smell of the shop and warehouse was already bad enough without these extra odors.

But all Mr. Olifaunt's habits were regular and cleanly, and his address, though frank and simple, showed so much of the courtier and gentleman, as formed a strong contrast with the loud halloo, coarse jests, and boisterous impatience of her maritime inmates. Dame Nelly saw that her guest was melancholy also, notwithstanding his efforts to seem contented and cheerful; and, in short, she took that sort of interest in him, without being herself aware of the extent, which an unscrupulous gallant might have been tempted to improve to the prejudice of honest John, who was at least a score of years older than his helpmate. Olifaunt, however, had not only other matters to think of, but would have regarded such an intrigue, had the idea ever occurred to him, as an abominable and ungrateful encroachment upon the laws of hospitality, his religion having been by his late father formed upon the strict principles of the national faith, and his morality upon those of the nicest honour. He had not escaped the predominant weakness of his country, an overweening sense of the pride of birth, and a disposition to value the worth and consequence of others according to the number and the fame of their deceased ancestors; but this pride of family was well subdued, and in general almost entirely concealed, by his good sense and general courtesy.

But all of Mr. Olifaunt's habits were regular and tidy, and his manner, while straightforward and simple, revealed enough of a gentlemanly air to starkly contrast with the loud cheers, crude jokes, and rowdy impatience of her seafaring companions. Dame Nelly noticed that her guest seemed sad too, despite his attempts to appear content and upbeat; in short, she felt a kind of concern for him, though she wasn't fully aware of how deep it was, which a less scrupulous man might have tried to exploit to the detriment of honest John, who was at least twenty years older than his partner. Olifaunt, however, had other things on his mind and would have viewed any such intrigue, had it ever crossed his mind, as a ghastly and ungrateful violation of hospitality, since his upbringing by his late father had instilled in him the strict tenets of the national faith, alongside a moral code grounded in the highest standards of honor. He had not escaped the common flaw of his country, a bloated sense of pride in lineage and a tendency to judge the worth and significance of others based on the number and fame of their ancestors; however, this pride in family was well controlled and generally well hidden by his good sense and overall politeness.

Such as we have described him, Nigel Olifaunt, or rather the young Lord Glenvarloch, was, when our narrative takes him up, under great perplexity respecting the fate of his trusty and only follower, Richard Moniplies, who had been dispatched by his young master, early the preceding morning, as far as the court at Westminster, but had not yet returned. His evening adventures the reader is already acquainted with, and so far knows more of Richie than did his master, who had not heard of him for twenty-four hours.

As we've described him, Nigel Olifaunt, or the young Lord Glenvarloch, was, when our story begins, in quite a turmoil about what had happened to his loyal and only companion, Richard Moniplies. Richard had been sent by his young master early the day before to the court at Westminster but hadn't returned yet. The reader is already familiar with his evening adventures and therefore knows more about Richie than his master does, since Nigel hadn't heard from him in twenty-four hours.

Dame Nelly Christie, in the meantime, regarded her guest with some anxiety, and a great desire to comfort him, if possible. She placed on the breakfast-table a noble piece of cold powdered beef, with its usual guards of turnip and carrot, recommended her mustard as coming direct from her cousin at Tewkesbury, and spiced the toast with her own hands—and with her own hands, also, drew a jug of stout and nappy ale, all of which were elements of the substantial breakfast of the period.

Dame Nelly Christie, in the meantime, looked at her guest with some anxiety and a strong desire to comfort him, if she could. She set a generous portion of cold beef on the breakfast table, accompanied by turnips and carrots, touted her mustard as coming straight from her cousin in Tewkesbury, and personally spiced the toast—and, with her own hands, poured a jug of stout and pale ale, all of which were key parts of a solid breakfast back then.

When she saw that her guest's anxiety prevented him from doing justice to the good cheer which she set before him, she commenced her career of verbal consolation with the usual volubility of those women in her station, who, conscious of good looks, good intentions, and good lungs, entertain no fear either of wearying themselves or of fatiguing their auditors.

When she noticed that her guest's nerves were stopping him from enjoying the cheerful atmosphere she had created, she began her routine of offering comforting words with the familiar chatter of women in her position, who, aware of their attractiveness, kindness, and ability to talk a lot, have no worries about tiring themselves out or exhausting their listeners.

“Now, what the good year! are we to send you down to Scotland as thin as you came up?—I am sure it would be contrary to the course of nature. There was my goodman's father, old Sandie Christie, I have heard he was an atomy when he came up from the North, and I am sure he died, Saint Barnaby was ten years, at twenty stone weight. I was a bare-headed girl at the time, and lived in the neighbourhood, though I had little thought of marrying John then, who had a score of years the better of me—but he is a thriving man and a kind husband—and his father, as I was saying, died as fat as a church-warden. Well, sir, but I hope I have not offended you for my little joke—and I hope the ale is to your honour's liking,—and the beef—and the mustard?”

"Well, what a great year! Are we really going to send you back to Scotland as skinny as you came? I doubt that's how things are supposed to go. There was my husband’s father, old Sandie Christie; I've heard he was a skeleton when he arrived from the North, but he died, as Saint Barnaby knows, weighing twenty stone a decade later. I was just a girl back then, living nearby, and didn’t think about marrying John, who was a lot older than me. But he's a successful man and a loving husband now—and as I said, his father died as plump as a church warden. Well, sir, I hope I haven't upset you with my little joke—and I hope the ale is to your liking—and the beef—and the mustard?"

“All excellent—all too good,” answered Olifaunt; “you have every thing so clean and tidy, dame, that I shall not know how to live when I go back to my own country—if ever I go back there.”

“All excellent—all too good,” answered Olifaunt; “you have everything so clean and tidy, ma'am, that I won’t know how to live when I go back to my own country—if I ever go back there.”

This was added as it seemed involuntarily, and with a deep sigh.

This was added as it appeared to be involuntary, accompanied by a deep sigh.

“I warrant your honour go back again if you like it,” said the dame: “unless you think rather of taking a pretty well-dowered English lady, as some of your countryfolk have done. I assure you, some of the best of the city have married Scotsmen. There was Lady Trebleplumb, Sir Thomas Trebleplumb the great Turkey merchant's widow, married Sir Awley Macauley, whom your honour knows, doubtless; and pretty Mistress Doublefee, old Sergeant Doublefee's daughter, jumped out of window, and was married at May-fair to a Scotsman with a hard name; and old Pitchpost the timber merchant's daughters did little better, for they married two Irishmen; and when folks jeer me about having a Scotsman for lodger, meaning your honour, I tell them they are afraid of their daughters and their mistresses; and sure I have a right to stand up for the Scots, since John Christie is half a Scotsman, and a thriving man, and a good husband, though there is a score of years between us; and so I would have your honour cast care away, and mend your breakfast with a morsel and a draught.”

“I suggest you go back if that's what you want,” said the woman. “Unless you’re considering marrying a well-off English lady, like some of your fellow countrymen have done. I can tell you that some of the best people in the city have married Scotsmen. There was Lady Trebleplumb, the widow of Sir Thomas Trebleplumb, the big Turkey merchant; she married Sir Awley Macauley, who you probably know. And pretty Mistress Doublefee, the daughter of old Sergeant Doublefee, jumped out of a window and got married at Mayfair to a Scotsman with a tough name. Old Pitchpost, the timber merchant, didn’t do much better either, as his daughters married two Irishmen. When people tease me about having a Scotsman as a lodger—meaning you—I tell them they’re just scared for their daughters and their lovers. And I have every right to defend the Scots, since John Christie is half Scottish, a successful guy, and a good husband, even though there are twenty years between us. So, I’d like you to forget your worries and enjoy your breakfast with a little something to eat and drink.”

“At a word, my kind hostess, I cannot,” said Olifaunt; “I am anxious about this knave of mine, who has been so long absent in this dangerous town of yours.”

“At a word, my kind hostess, I can’t,” said Olifaunt; “I’m worried about my scoundrel of a servant, who has been gone for so long in this dangerous town of yours.”

It may be noticed in passing that Dame Nelly's ordinary mode of consolation was to disprove the existence of any cause for distress; and she is said to have carried this so far as to comfort a neighbour, who had lost her husband, with the assurance that the dear defunct would be better to-morrow, which perhaps might not have proved an appropriate, even if it had been a possible, mode of relief.

It might be worth mentioning that Dame Nelly's usual way of comforting people was to deny that there was any reason for their sadness. It's said that she even went so far as to reassure a neighbor, who had lost her husband, by saying that the dearly departed would feel better tomorrow, which perhaps wasn’t the most suitable, even if it had been a feasible, way to offer comfort.

On this occasion she denied stoutly that Richie had been absent altogether twenty hours; and as for people being killed in the streets of London, to be sure two men had been found in Tower-ditch last week, but that was far to the east, and the other poor man that had his throat cut in the fields, had met his mishap near by Islington; and he that was stabbed by the young Templar in a drunken frolic, by Saint Clement's in the Strand, was an Irishman. All which evidence she produced to show that none of these casualties had occurred in a case exactly parallel with that of Richie, a Scotsman, and on his return from Westminster.

On this occasion, she strongly insisted that Richie hadn't been gone for a full twenty hours. And as for people being killed in the streets of London, sure, two men had been discovered in Tower Ditch last week, but that was way out east. The other poor guy who had his throat cut in the fields had met his fate near Islington, and the one who was stabbed by the young Templar during a drunken night out by Saint Clement's in the Strand was an Irishman. She used all this evidence to argue that none of these incidents were similar to what happened with Richie, a Scotsman, who was returning from Westminster.

“My better comfort is, my good dame,” answered Olifaunt, “that the lad is no brawler or quarreller, unless strongly urged, and that he has nothing valuable about him to any one but me.”

“My greater comfort, good lady,” replied Olifaunt, “is that the boy is not a fighter or someone who causes trouble unless provoked, and that he doesn’t have anything of value to anyone but me.”

“Your honour speaks very well,” retorted the inexhaustible hostess, who protracted her task of taking away, and putting to rights, in order that she might prolong her gossip. “I'll uphold Master Moniplies to be neither reveller nor brawler, for if he liked such things, he might be visiting and junketing with the young folks about here in the neighbourhood, and he never dreams of it; and when I asked the young man to go as far as my gossip's, Dame Drinkwater, to taste a glass of aniseed, and a bit of the groaning cheese,—for Dame Drinkwater has had twins, as I told your honour, sir,—and I meant it quite civilly to the young man, but he chose to sit and keep house with John Christie; and I dare say there is a score of years between them, for your honour's servant looks scarce much older than I am. I wonder what they could have to say to each other. I asked John Christie, but he bid me go to sleep.”

“Your honor speaks very well,” replied the tireless hostess, who took her time cleaning up to keep the conversation going. “I’ll stand by Master Moniplies as being neither a party animal nor a fighter, because if he was into that kind of thing, he’d be out socializing with the young people around here, and he doesn’t even think about it. When I invited the young man to go over to my friend Dame Drinkwater’s for a glass of aniseed and some of the groaning cheese—because, as I mentioned, Dame Drinkwater recently had twins, sir— I meant it nicely, but he decided to stay home with John Christie. And I bet there’s a good twenty years between them since your servant doesn’t look much older than I am. I wonder what they’re talking about. I asked John Christie, but he told me to go to sleep.”

“If he comes not soon,” said his master, “I will thank you to tell me what magistrate I can address myself to; for besides my anxiety for the poor fellow's safety, he has papers of importance about him.”

“If he doesn’t arrive soon,” said his master, “I would appreciate it if you could tell me which magistrate I should speak to; because besides my concern for the poor guy’s safety, he has important papers with him.”

“O! your honour may be assured he will be back in a quarter of an hour,” said Dame Nelly; “he is not the lad to stay out twenty-four hours at a stretch. And for the papers, I am sure your honour will pardon him for just giving me a peep at the corner, as I was giving him a small cup, not so large as my thimble, of distilled waters, to fortify his stomach against the damps, and it was directed to the King's Most Excellent Majesty; and so doubtless his Majesty has kept Richie out of civility to consider of your honour's letter, and send back a fitting reply.”

“O! Your honor can be assured he’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” said Dame Nelly. “He’s not the type to stay out for twenty-four hours straight. And about the papers, I’m sure your honor will forgive him for just letting me take a quick look at the corner while I was giving him a small cup, not much bigger than my thimble, of distilled water to help his stomach with the damp. It was addressed to the King’s Most Excellent Majesty; so undoubtedly, His Majesty is keeping Richie occupied out of courtesy to think about your honor’s letter and send back a proper response.”

Dame Nelly here hit by chance on a more available topic of consolation than those she had hitherto touched upon; for the youthful lord had himself some vague hopes that his messenger might have been delayed at Court until a fitting and favourable answer should be dispatched back to him. Inexperienced, however, in public affairs as he certainly was, it required only a moment's consideration to convince him of the improbability of an expectation so contrary to all he had heard of etiquette, as well as the dilatory proceedings in a court suit, and he answered the good-natured hostess with a sigh, that he doubted whether the king would even look on the paper addressed to him, far less take it into his immediate consideration.

Dame Nelly here accidentally stumbled upon a more comforting topic than those she had previously discussed; for the young lord had some vague hopes that his messenger might have been delayed at Court until a suitable and favorable response was sent back to him. However, being inexperienced in public affairs as he was, it only took him a moment to realize how unlikely such an expectation was, given everything he had heard about etiquette and the slow processes of court cases. He responded to the kind hostess with a sigh, expressing his doubts that the king would even glance at the paper addressed to him, let alone give it immediate attention.

“Now, out upon you for a faint-hearted gentleman!” said the good dame; “and why should he not do as much for us as our gracious Queen Elizabeth? Many people say this and that about a queen and a king, but I think a king comes more natural to us English folks; and this good gentleman goes as often down by water to Greenwich, and employs as many of the barge-men and water-men of all kinds; and maintains, in his royal grace, John Taylor, the water-poet, who keeps both a sculler and a pair of oars. And he has made a comely Court at Whitehall, just by the river; and since the king is so good a friend to the Thames, I cannot see, if it please your honour, why all his subjects, and your honour in specialty, should not have satisfaction by his hands.”

“Now, what’s with the cowardly guy?” said the good woman; “and why shouldn’t he do just as much for us as our gracious Queen Elizabeth? A lot of people have their opinions about a queen and a king, but I believe a king feels more natural to us English folks. This fine gentleman often takes a boat down to Greenwich, uses a lot of the barge men and watermen of all kinds; and he supports, in his royal kindness, John Taylor, the water-poet, who keeps both a rower and a pair of oars. He's established a lovely court at Whitehall, right by the river; and since the king is such a good friend to the Thames, I can’t see, if it’s okay with you, why all his subjects, and you especially, shouldn’t get what you deserve from him.”

“True, dame—true,—let us hope for the best; but I must take my cloak and rapier, and pray your husband in courtesy to teach me the way to a magistrate.”

“Yeah, lady—yeah,—let’s hope for the best; but I need to grab my cloak and sword, and I kindly ask your husband to show me the way to a magistrate.”

“Sure, sir,” said the prompt dame, “I can do that as well as he, who has been a slow man of his tongue all his life, though I will give him his due for being a loving husband, and a man as well to pass in the world as any betwixt us and the top of the lane. And so there is the sitting alderman, that is always at the Guildhall, which is close by Paul's, and so I warrant you he puts all to rights in the city that wisdom can mend; and for the rest there is no help but patience. But I wish I were as sure of forty pounds as I am that the young man will come back safe and sound.”

“Sure thing, sir,” said the ready woman, “I can do that just as well as he can, even though he's always been slow to speak. I’ll give him credit for being a loving husband and a decent man, just like anyone else around here. And then there’s the sitting alderman, always over at the Guildhall, which is close to St. Paul's. I can guarantee he makes everything right in the city that can be fixed by wisdom; for the rest, we just have to be patient. But I wish I were as certain of forty pounds as I am that the young man will come back safe and sound.”

Olifaunt, in great and anxious doubt of what the good dame so strongly averred, flung his cloak on one shoulder, and was about to belt on his rapier, when first the voice of Richie Moniplies on the stair, and then that faithful emissary's appearance in the chamber, put the matter beyond question. Dame Nelly, after congratulating Moniplies on his return, and paying several compliments to her own sagacity for having foretold it, was at length pleased to leave the apartment. The truth was, that, besides some instinctive feelings of good breeding which combated her curiosity, she saw there was no chance of Richie's proceeding in his narrative while she was in the room, and she therefore retreated, trusting that her own address would get the secret out of one or other of the young men, when she should have either by himself.

Olifaunt, filled with doubt about what the good woman had firmly claimed, threw his cloak over one shoulder and was about to fasten his rapier when he heard Richie Moniplies' voice coming up the stairs, followed by the loyal messenger entering the room, which cleared everything up. Dame Nelly, after congratulating Moniplies on his return and giving herself a few compliments for predicting it, finally decided to leave the room. The truth was that, aside from some natural instincts of politeness battling her curiosity, she realized there was no way Richie would continue his story while she was there, so she stepped back, hoping that her charm would get the secret out of one of the young men when she could talk to them alone.

“Now, in Heaven's name, what is the matter?” said Nigel Olifaunt.—“Where have you been, or what have you been about? You look as pale as death. There is blood on your hand, and your clothes are torn. What barns-breaking have you been at? You have been drunk, Richard, and fighting.”

“Now, for heaven’s sake, what’s going on?” said Nigel Olifaunt. “Where have you been, or what have you been up to? You look as pale as a ghost. There’s blood on your hand, and your clothes are torn. What kind of trouble have you gotten into? You’ve been drinking, Richard, and fighting.”

“Fighting I have been,” said Richard, “in a small way; but for being drunk, that's a job ill to manage in this town, without money to come by liquor; and as for barns-breaking, the deil a thing's broken but my head. It's not made of iron, I wot, nor my claithes of chenzie-mail; so a club smashed the tane, and a claught damaged the tither. Some misleard rascals abused my country, but I think I cleared the causey of them. However, the haill hive was ower mony for me at last, and I got this eclipse on the crown, and then I was carried, beyond my kenning, to a sma' booth at the Temple Port, whare they sell the whirligigs and mony-go-rounds that measure out time as a man wad measure a tartan web; and then they bled me, wold I nold I, and were reasonably civil, especially an auld country-man of ours, of whom more hereafter.”

“Fighting I’ve done,” said Richard, “in a small way; but being drunk is a tough job in this town, especially without any money for liquor. As for breaking into barns, the only thing I broke was my head. It’s not made of iron, you know, nor are my clothes made of chainmail; so a club smashed one side, and a punch damaged the other. Some ignorant thugs insulted my country, but I think I cleared the path of them. However, the whole crowd was too much for me in the end, and I ended up with this bruise on my head, and then I was taken, without knowing where I was, to a little booth at Temple Port, where they sell toys and merry-go-rounds that measure out time like a man would measure a tartan fabric; and then they bled me, whether I wanted them to or not, and were pretty civil, especially an old countryman of ours, of whom I’ll say more later.”

“And at what o'clock might this be?” said Nigel.

“And at what time is this supposed to happen?” said Nigel.

“The twa iron carles yonder, at the kirk beside the Port, were just banging out sax o' the clock.”

“The two guys over there, at the church by the Port, were just ringing out six o'clock.”

“And why came you not home as soon as you recovered?” said Nigel.

“And why didn’t you come home as soon as you got better?” said Nigel.

“In troth, my lord, every why has its wherefore, and this has a gude ane,” answered his follower. “To come hame, I behoved to ken whare hame was; now, I had clean tint the name of the wynd, and the mair I asked, the mair the folk leugh, and the farther they sent me wrang; sae I gave it up till God should send daylight to help me; and as I saw mysell near a kirk at the lang run, I e'en crap in to take up my night's quarters in the kirkyard.”

"Honestly, my lord, every why has its wherefore, and this one has a good reason,” replied his follower. “To get home, I needed to know where home was; but I had completely forgotten the name of the street, and the more I asked, the more people laughed, and the farther they sent me in the wrong direction; so I gave it up until God would send daylight to guide me; and since I saw myself near a church in the end, I just crawled in to spend the night in the graveyard.”

“In the churchyard?” said Nigel—“But I need not ask what drove you to such a pinch.”

“In the churchyard?” said Nigel—“But I don’t need to ask what brought you to such a tight spot.”

“It wasna sae much the want o' siller, my Lord Nigel,” said Richie, with an air of mysterious importance, “for I was no sae absolute without means, of whilk mair anon; but I thought I wad never ware a saxpence sterling on ane of their saucy chamberlains at a hostelry, sae lang as I could sleep fresh and fine in a fair, dry, spring night. Mony a time, when I hae come hame ower late, and faund the West-Port steekit, and the waiter ill-willy, I have garr'd the sexton of Saint Cuthbert's calf-ward serve me for my quarters. But then there are dainty green graffs in Saint Cuthbert's kirkyard, whare ane may sleep as if they were in a down-bed, till they hear the lavrock singing up in the air as high as the Castle; whereas, and behold, these London kirkyards are causeyed with through-stanes, panged hard and fast thegither; and my cloak being something threadbare, made but a thin mattress, so I was fain to give up my bed before every limb about me was crippled. Dead folks may sleep yonder sound enow, but deil haet else.”

“It wasn’t so much about the lack of money, my Lord Nigel,” said Richie, with an air of mysterious importance, “because I wasn't completely without means, of which I'll explain more later; but I thought I would never spend a penny on one of their cocky chamberlains at an inn, as long as I could sleep comfortably on a pleasant, dry spring night. Many times, when I've come home too late and found the West-Port shut, and the waiter unfriendly, I’ve had the sexton of Saint Cuthbert's calf-ward provide me with a place to stay. But then there are nice green patches in Saint Cuthbert's graveyard, where one can sleep as if they were in a feather bed, until they hear the lark singing high in the sky above the Castle; whereas, just look at those London graveyards, which are paved with hard stones, tightly packed together; and my cloak being somewhat worn out, made for a thin mattress, so I was forced to give up my bed before every joint in my body was crippled. Dead folks may sleep there just fine, but nothing else.”

“And what became of you next?” said his master.

“And what happened to you next?” said his master.

“I just took to a canny bulkhead, as they ca' them here; that is, the boards on the tap of their bits of outshots of stalls and booths, and there I sleepit as sound as if I was in a castle. Not but I was disturbed with some of the night-walking queans and swaggering billies, but when they found there was nothing to be got by me but a slash of my Andrew Ferrara, they bid me good-night for a beggarly Scot; and I was e'en weel pleased to be sae cheap rid of them. And in the morning, I cam daikering here, but sad wark I had to find the way, for I had been east as far as the place they ca' Mile-End, though it is mair like sax-mile-end.”

“I just found a clever little spot to sleep, as they call them here; that is, the boards on top of their small extensions of stalls and booths, and there I slept as soundly as if I were in a castle. I was disturbed a bit by some of the nighttime ladies and loud guys, but when they realized they couldn’t get anything from me but a piece of my Andrew Ferrara, they wished me good-night for being a poor Scot; and I was quite happy to be rid of them so easily. In the morning, I wandered around here, but I had a tough time finding my way because I had gone as far east as a place they call Mile-End, even though it’s more like six-mile-end.”

“Well, Richie,” answered Nigel, “I am glad all this has ended so well—go get something to eat. I am sure you need it.”

“Well, Richie,” replied Nigel, “I’m glad everything turned out so well—go get something to eat. I’m sure you need it.”

“In troth do I, sir,” replied Moniplies; “but, with your lordship's leave—”

“In truth, I do, sir,” replied Moniplies; “but, with your lordship's permission—”

“Forget the lordship for the present, Richie, as I have often told you before.”

“Forget about the lordship for now, Richie, as I’ve told you many times before.”

“Faith,” replied Richie, “I could weel forget that your honour was a lord, but then I behoved to forget that I am a lord's man, and that's not so easy. But, however,” he added, assisting his description with the thumb and the two forefingers of his right hand, thrust out after the fashion of a bird's claw, while the little finger and ring-finger were closed upon the palm, “to the Court I went, and my friend that promised me a sight of his Majesty's most gracious presence, was as gude as his word, and carried me into the back offices, where I got the best breakfast I have had since we came here, and it did me gude for the rest of the day; for as to what I have eaten in this accursed town, it is aye sauced with the disquieting thought that it maun be paid for. After a', there was but beef banes and fat brose; but king's cauff, your honour kens, is better than ither folk's corn; at ony rate, it was a' in free awmous.—But I see,” he added, stopping short, “that your honour waxes impatient.”

“Faith,” replied Richie, “I could easily forget that you’re a lord, but then I’d have to forget that I'm a lord's servant, and that's not so easy. But anyway,” he added, gesturing with his thumb and two forefingers like a bird's claw, while his little finger and ring finger were curled into his palm, “I went to the Court, and my friend who promised me a glimpse of His Majesty actually kept his word and took me into the back offices, where I had the best breakfast I've had since we got here, and it energized me for the rest of the day; because as for the food I've eaten in this cursed town, it's always seasoned with the worrying thought that I have to pay for it. After all, it was just beef bones and greasy porridge; but king’s broth, as you know, is better than other people’s food; at any rate, it was all on the house.—But I see,” he added, pausing, “that you’re getting impatient.”

“By no means, Richie,” said the young nobleman, with an air of resignation, for he well knew his domestic would not mend his pace for goading; “you have suffered enough in the embassy to have a right to tell the story in your own way. Only let me pray for the name of the friend who was to introduce you into the king's presence. You were very mysterious on the subject, when you undertook, through his means, to have the Supplication put into his Majesty's own hands, since those sent heretofore, I have every reason to think, went no farther than his secretary's.”

“Not at all, Richie,” said the young nobleman, with a sense of resignation, because he knew his servant wouldn’t pick up the pace just from being urged; “you’ve endured enough at the embassy to have the right to tell the story your way. Just let me ask for the name of the friend who was supposed to introduce you to the king. You were very secretive about it when you planned to have the Supplication delivered directly into his Majesty's hands, especially since those sent before, I have every reason to believe, never got past his secretary.”

“Weel, my lord,” said Richie, “I did not tell you his name and quality at first, because I thought you would be affronted at the like of him having to do in your lordship's affairs. But mony a man climbs up in Court by waur help. It was just Laurie Linklater, one of the yeomen of the kitchen, that was my father's apprentice lang syne.”

“Weel, my lord,” said Richie, “I didn’t mention his name and position at first because I thought you might be offended by someone like him being involved in your affairs. But many a man rises in Court with worse connections. It was just Laurie Linklater, one of the kitchen staff, who was my father's apprentice a long time ago.”

“A yeoman in the kitchen—a scullion!” exclaimed Lord Nigel, pacing the room in displeasure.

“A servant in the kitchen—a dishwasher!” exclaimed Lord Nigel, pacing the room in frustration.

“But consider, sir,” said Richie, composedly, “that a' your great friends hung back, and shunned to own you, or to advocate your petition; and then, though I am sure I wish Laurie a higher office, for your lordship's sake and for mine, and specially for his ain sake, being a friendly lad, yet your lordship must consider, that a scullion, if a yeoman of the king's most royal kitchen may be called a scullion, may weel rank with a master-cook elsewhere; being that king's cauff, as I said before, is better than—”

“But think about it, sir,” Richie said calmly, “all of your important friends stayed away and refused to support you or back your request; and while I truly hope Laurie gets a higher position, for your sake and for mine, and especially for his own, since he’s a good guy, you must realize that a kitchen worker, if you can call a servant in the king's royal kitchen a kitchen worker, can easily be seen as equal to a head chef in another place; because the king’s food, as I mentioned earlier, is better than—”

“You are right, and I was wrong,” said the young nobleman. “I have no choice of means of making my case known, so that they be honest.”

“You're right, and I was wrong,” said the young nobleman. “I have no way to make my case known other than to be honest.”

“Laurie is as honest a lad as ever lifted a ladle,” said Richie; “not but what I dare to say he can lick his fingers like other folk, and reason good. But, in fine, for I see your honour is waxing impatient, he brought me to the palace, where a' was astir for the king going out to hunt or hawk on Blackheath, I think they ca'd it. And there was a horse stood with all the quarries about it, a bonny grey as ever was foaled; and the saddle and the stirrups, and the curb and bit, o' burning gowd, or silver gilded at least; and down, sir, came the king, with all his nobles, dressed out in his hunting-suit of green, doubly laced, and laid down with gowd. I minded the very face o' him, though it was lang since I saw him. But my certie, lad, thought I, times are changed since ye came fleeing down the back stairs of auld Holyrood House, in grit fear, having your breeks in your hand without time to put them on, and Frank Stewart, the wild Earl of Bothwell, hard at your haunches; and if auld Lord Glenvarloch hadna cast his mantle about his arm, and taken bluidy wounds mair than ane in your behalf, you wald not have craw'd sae crouse this day; and so saying, I could not but think your lordship's Sifflication could not be less than most acceptable; and so I banged in among the crowd of lords. Laurie thought me mad, and held me by the cloak-lap till the cloth rave in his hand; and so I banged in right before the king just as he mounted, and crammed the Sifflication into his hand, and he opened it like in amaze; and just as he saw the first line, I was minded to make a reverence, and I had the ill luck to hit his jaud o' a beast on the nose with my hat, and scaur the creature, and she swarved aside, and the king, that sits na mickle better than a draff-pock on the saddle, was like to have gotten a clean coup, and that might have cost my craig a raxing-and he flung down the paper amang the beast's feet, and cried, 'Away wi' the fause loon that brought it!' And they grippit me, and cried treason; and I thought of the Ruthvens that were dirked in their ain house, for, it may be, as small a forfeit. However, they spak only of scourging me, and had me away to the porter's lodge to try the tawse on my back, and I was crying mercy as loud as I could; and the king, when he had righted himself on the saddle, and gathered his breath, cried to do me nae harm; for, said he, he is ane of our ain Norland stots, I ken by the rowt of him,—and they a' laughed and rowted loud eneugh. And then he said, 'Gie him a copy of the Proclamation, and let him go down to the North by the next light collier, before waur come o't.' So they let me go, and rode out, a sniggering, laughing, and rounding in ilk ither's lugs. A sair life I had wi' Laurie Linklater; for he said it wad be the ruin of him. And then, when I told him it was in your matter, he said if he had known before he would have risked a scauding for you, because he minded the brave old lord, your father. And then he showed how I suld have done,—and that I suld have held up my hand to my brow, as if the grandeur of the king and his horse-graith thegither had casten the glaiks in my een, and mair jackanape tricks I suld hae played, instead of offering the Sifflication, he said, as if I had been bringing guts to a bear.” [Footnote: I am certain this prudential advice is not original on Mr. Linklater's part, but I am not at present able to produce my authority. I think it amounted to this, that James flung down a petition presented by some supplicant who paid no compliments to his horse, and expressed no admiration at the splendour of his furniture, saying, “Shall a king cumber himself about the petition of a beggar, while the beggar disregards the king's splendour?” It is, I think, Sir John Harrington who recommends, as a sure mode to the king's favour, to praise the paces of the royal palfrey.]

“Laurie is as honest a guy as ever held a ladle,” said Richie; “but I dare say he can lick his fingers like anyone else and think clearly. But, to cut to the chase, since I see you’re getting impatient, he brought me to the palace, where everything was bustling for the king’s hunt or hawk outing on Blackheath, I believe that’s what they called it. And there stood a horse surrounded by all the huntsmen, a beautiful gray that was ever born; and the saddle, stirrups, curb, and bit were all made of shining gold, or at least gilded silver; and down came the king, with all his nobles, dressed in his green hunting outfit, lavishly laced and adorned with gold. I remembered his face well, even though it had been a long time since I last saw him. But good heavens, I thought, times have changed since you came fleeing down the back stairs of old Holyrood House, terrified, holding your pants in your hand without time to put them on, with Frank Stewart, the wild Earl of Bothwell, hot on your tail; and if old Lord Glenvarloch hadn’t thrown his cloak around his arm and taken more than one bloody wound on your behalf, you wouldn’t be so cocky today; and saying that, I couldn’t help but think your lordship’s petition could not be less than highly appreciated; and so I pushed into the crowd of lords. Laurie thought I was crazy and held me by the cloak until the fabric tore in his hand; and so I barged right in front of the king just as he was mounting his horse, shoved the petition into his hand, and he opened it in shock; and just as he read the first line, I intended to bow, but unfortunately, I accidentally hit his horse on the nose with my hat, startling the animal, causing it to swerve, and the king, who doesn't sit much better than a sack of grain in the saddle, was almost thrown off, which could have cost me my neck; he tossed the paper down at the horse’s feet and shouted, 'Away with the false rascal that brought it!' And they grabbed me, shouting treason; I thought of the Ruthvens who were murdered in their own house for perhaps a minor offense. However, they only talked about flogging me, and took me to the porter's lodge to punish me while I cried for mercy as loud as I could; and the king, once he had steadied himself in the saddle and caught his breath, called for them to do me no harm; for, he said, he is one of our own northern lads, I know by the way he acts,—and they all laughed and roared loudly. Then he said, 'Give him a copy of the Proclamation, and let him go back north on the next light collier, before worse comes of it.' So they let me go, and rode off, giggling, laughing, and whispering in each other’s ears. I had a hard time with Laurie Linklater; he said it would ruin him. And then, when I told him it was about your matter, he said if he had known earlier, he would have risked punishment for you, because he remembered the brave old lord, your father. Then he showed me how I should have acted,—and that I should have held my hand to my brow, as if the majesty of the king and his horse gear combined had dazzled my eyes, and more silly tricks I should have played, instead of presenting the petition, he said, as if I had been offering food to a bear.” [Footnote: I am certain this advice is not original to Mr. Linklater, but I am currently unable to cite my source. I believe it amounts to this: James tossed aside a petition presented by someone who gave no compliments to his horse and showed no admiration for the splendor of his gear, saying, “Shall a king concern himself with the petition of a beggar, while the beggar disregards the king’s splendor?” It is, I think, Sir John Harrington who recommends praising the gait of the royal horse as a sure way to win the king’s favor.]

'For,' said he, 'Richie, the king is a weel-natured and just man of his ain kindly nature, but he has a wheen maggots that maun be cannily guided; and then, Richie,' says he, in a very laigh tone, 'I would tell it to nane but a wise man like yoursell, but the king has them about him wad corrupt an angel from heaven; but I could have gi'en you avisement how to have guided him, but now it's like after meat mustard.'—'Aweel, aweel, Laurie,' said I, 'it may be as you say', but since I am clear of the tawse and the porter's lodge, sifflicate wha like, deil hae Richie Moniplies if he come sifflicating here again.'—And so away I came, and I wasna far by the Temple Port, or Bar, or whatever they ca' it, when I met with the misadventure that I tauld you of before.”

"For," he said, "Richie, the king is a good-natured and fair man by his own nature, but he has a few pests that need to be handled carefully; and then, Richie," he said in a very low voice, "I would share this only with a wise man like you, but the king has people around him who could corrupt an angel from heaven; I could have given you advice on how to manage him, but now it feels like offering mustard after the meal."—"Well, well, Laurie," I said, "it may be as you say, but since I'm free from the punishment and the porter’s lodge, let whoever likes come; devil take Richie Moniplies if he tries to charm me here again."—And so I left, and I wasn't far from the Temple Port, or Bar, or whatever they call it, when I encountered the misfortune I told you about before.

“Well, my honest Richie,” said Lord Nigel, “your attempt was well meant, and not so ill conducted, I think, as to have deserved so bad an issue; but go to your beef and mustard, and we'll talk of the rest afterwards.”

“Well, my dear Richie,” said Lord Nigel, “your effort was well intended and not as poorly executed as to deserve such a bad outcome; but go on with your beef and mustard, and we’ll discuss the rest later.”

“There is nae mair to be spoken, sir,” said his follower, “except that I met ane very honest, fair-spoken, weel-put-on gentleman, or rather burgher, as I think, that was in the whigmaleery man's back-shop; and when he learned wha I was, behold he was a kindly Scot himsell, and, what is more, a town's-bairn o' the gude town, and he behoved to compel me to take this Portugal piece, to drink, forsooth—my certie, thought I, we ken better, for we will eat it—and he spoke of paying your lordship a visit.”

“There’s nothing more to say, sir,” said his follower, “except that I met a very honest, straightforward, well-put-together gentleman, or more likely a townsman, who was in the back shop of the whigmaleery man; and when he found out who I was, he turned out to be a friendly Scot himself, and, what's more, a local from the good town. He insisted I take this Portugal piece to drink—my goodness, I thought, we know better, because we’ll just eat it—and he mentioned paying your lordship a visit.”

“You did not tell him where I lived, you knave?” said the Lord Nigel, angrily. “'Sdeath! I shall have every clownish burgher from Edinburgh come to gaze on my distress, and pay a shilling for having seen the motion of the Poor Noble!”

“You didn’t tell him where I live, you fool?” said Lord Nigel, angrily. “God! I’ll have every foolish townsman from Edinburgh coming to gawk at my misery and pay a shilling just to see the spectacle of the Poor Noble!”

“Tell him where you lived?” said Richie, evading the question; “How could I tell him what I kendna mysell? If I had minded the name of the wynd, I need not have slept in the kirkyard yestreen.”

“Tell him where you lived?” Richie asked, avoiding the question. “How could I tell him something I don’t even know myself? If I had paid attention to the name of the street, I wouldn't have had to sleep in the graveyard last night.”

“See, then, that you give no one notice of our lodging,” said the young nobleman; “those with whom I have business I can meet at Paul's, or in the Court of Requests.”

“Make sure you don’t tell anyone where we’re staying,” said the young nobleman; “I can meet with my business contacts at Paul’s or in the Court of Requests.”

“This is steeking the stable-door when the steed is stolen,” thought Richie to himself; “but I must put him on another pin.”

“This is shutting the barn door after the horse is gone,” Richie thought to himself; “but I need to put him on another pin.”

So thinking, he asked the young lord what was in the Proclamation which he still held folded in his hand; “for, having little time to spell at it,” said he, “your lordship well knows I ken nought about it but the grand blazon at the tap—the lion has gotten a claught of our auld Scottish shield now, but it was as weel upheld when it had a unicorn on ilk side of it.”

So thinking, he asked the young lord what was in the Proclamation that he still held folded in his hand; “Because I don’t have much time to read it,” he said, “you know I don’t understand anything about it except for the big emblem at the top—the lion has gotten a grip on our old Scottish shield now, but it was just as well recognized when it had a unicorn on each side of it.”

Lord Nigel read the Proclamation, and he coloured deep with shame and indignation as he read; for the purport was, to his injured feelings, like the pouring of ardent spirits upon a recent wound.

Lord Nigel read the Proclamation, and he blushed deeply with shame and anger as he read; for the meaning was, to his hurt feelings, like pouring alcohol on a fresh wound.

“What deil's in the paper, my lord?” said Richie, unable to suppress his curiosity as he observed his master change colour; “I wadna ask such a thing, only the Proclamation is not a private thing, but is meant for a' men's hearing.”

“What the devil is in the paper, my lord?” said Richie, unable to hide his curiosity as he noticed his master change color; “I wouldn’t ask such a thing, but the Proclamation isn’t a private matter, it’s meant for everyone to hear.”

“It is indeed meant for all men's hearing,” replied Lord Nigel, “and it proclaims the shame of our country, and the ingratitude of our Prince.”

“It’s definitely meant for everyone to hear,” replied Lord Nigel, “and it reveals the shame of our country and the ingratitude of our Prince.”

“Now the Lord preserve us! and to publish it in London, too!” ejaculated Moniplies.

“Wow, can you believe it? And to publish it in London, too!” exclaimed Moniplies.

“Hark ye, Richard,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “in this paper the Lords of the Council set forth, that, 'in consideration of the resort of idle persons of low condition forth from his Majesty's kingdom of Scotland to his English Court—filling the same with their suits and supplications, and dishonouring the royal presence with their base, poor, and beggarly persons, to the disgrace of their country in the estimation of the English; these are to prohibit the skippers, masters of vessels and others, in every part of Scotland, from bringing such miserable creatures up to Court under pain of fine and impisonment.”'

“Listen, Richard,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “in this document, the Lords of the Council state that, 'due to the influx of idle individuals of low status coming from His Majesty's kingdom of Scotland to his English Court—overwhelming it with their requests and pleas, and bringing shame to the royal presence with their lowly and impoverished state, thereby bringing disgrace to their country in the eyes of the English; we hereby prohibit skippers, masters of vessels, and others, in every part of Scotland, from bringing such unfortunate individuals to Court under penalty of fines and imprisonment.'”

“I marle the skipper took us on board,” said Richie.

“I guess the captain took us on board,” said Richie.

“Then you need not marvel how you are to get back again,” said Lord Nigel, “for here is a clause which says, that such idle suitors are to be transported back to Scotland at his Majesty's expense, and punished for their audacity with stripes, stocking, or incarceration, according to their demerits—that is to say, I suppose, according to the degree of their poverty, for I see no other demerit specified.”

“Then you don’t need to wonder how you’ll get back,” said Lord Nigel, “because here’s a clause that says such foolish suitors will be transported back to Scotland at the King’s expense and punished for their boldness with lashes, a fine, or imprisonment, depending on their offenses—that is to say, I guess, based on how poor they are, since I don’t see any other wrongdoing listed.”

“This will scarcely,” said Richie, “square with our old proverb—

“This will hardly,” said Richie, “fit with our old saying—

     A King's face
     Should give grace—
     A King's face
     Should show grace—

But what says the paper farther, my lord?”

But what does the paper say next, my lord?”

“O, only a small clause which especially concerns us, making some still heavier denunciations against those suitors who shall be so bold as to approach the Court, under pretext of seeking payment of old debts due to them by the king, which, the paper states, is, of all species of importunity, that which is most odious to his Majesty.”

“O, just a small clause that especially affects us, making even stronger accusations against those suitors who dare to approach the Court, claiming they want to collect old debts owed to them by the king, which the document says is, of all types of annoyance, the one that his Majesty finds most disgusting.”

“The king has neighbours in that matter,” said Richie; “but it is not every one that can shift off that sort of cattle so easily as he does.”

“The king has neighbors in that regard,” said Richie; “but not everyone can get rid of that kind of trouble as easily as he does.”

Their conversation was here interrupted by a knocking at the door. Olifaunt looked out at the window, and saw an elderly respectable person whom he knew not. Richie also peeped, and recognised, but, recognising, chose not to acknowledge, his friend of the preceding evening. Afraid that his share in the visit might be detected, he made his escape out of the apartment under pretext of going to his breakfast; and left their landlady the task of ushering Master George into Lord Nigel's apartment, which she performed with much courtesy.

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. Olifaunt looked out the window and saw an elderly respectable person he didn't recognize. Richie also peeked and recognized his friend from the previous evening, but chose not to acknowledge him. Worried that his involvement in the visit might be revealed, he made a quick exit from the room, pretending to go have breakfast. This left their landlady to usher Master George into Lord Nigel's room, which she did with great courtesy.










CHAPTER IV

  Ay, sir, the clouted shoe hath oft times craft in't,
  As says the rustic proverb; and your citizen,
  In's grogram suit, gold chain, and well-black'd shoes,
  Bears under his flat cap ofttimes a brain
  Wiser than burns beneath the cap and feather,
  Or seethes within the statesman's velvet nightcap.
                               Read me my Riddle.
  Yeah, sir, the patched shoe often has its tricks,  
  As the old saying goes; and your city dweller,  
  In his rough suit, gold chain, and polished shoes,  
  Often hides a brain under his flat cap  
  That’s wiser than what burns under the cap and feather,  
  Or boils inside the statesman's fancy nightcap.  
                               Read me my Riddle.

The young Scottish nobleman received the citizen with distant politeness, expressing that sort of reserve by which those of the higher ranks are sometimes willing to make a plebeian sensible that he is an intruder. But Master George seemed neither displeased nor disconcerted. He assumed the chair, which, in deference to his respectable appearance, Lord Nigel offered to him, and said, after a moment's pause, during which he had looked attentively at the young man, with respect not unmingled with emotion—“You will forgive me for this rudeness, my lord; but I was endeavouring to trace in your youthful countenance the features of my good old lord, your excellent father.”

The young Scottish nobleman greeted the citizen with a polite distance, showing the kind of reserve that often makes those of higher social status make a commoner feel like an outsider. But Master George didn't seem bothered or thrown off by it. He took the chair that, out of respect for his dignified appearance, Lord Nigel had offered him, and after a brief pause in which he closely examined the young man, with a mix of respect and emotion, he said, “Please forgive my rudeness, my lord; I was trying to see in your youthful face the features of my good old lord, your wonderful father.”

There was a moment's pause ere young Glenvarloch replied, still with a reserved manner,—“I have been reckoned like my father, sir; and am happy to see any one that respects his memory. But the business which calls me to this city is of a hasty as well as a private nature, and—”

There was a moment's pause before young Glenvarloch replied, still with a reserved manner, “I’ve been regarded like my father, sir; and I’m glad to see anyone who respects his memory. But the reason I’m in this city is both urgent and personal, and—”

“I understand the hint, my lord,” said Master George, “and would not be guilty of long detaining you from business, or more agreeable conversation. My errand is almost done when I have said that my name is George Heriot, warmly befriended, and introduced into the employment of the Royal Family of Scotland, more than twenty years since, by your excellent father; and that, learning from a follower of yours that your lordship was in this city in prosecution of some business of importance, it is my duty,—it is my pleasure,—to wait on the son of my respected patron; and, as I am somewhat known both at the Court, and in the city, to offer him such aid in the furthering of his affairs as my credit and experience may be able to afford.”

“I get the hint, my lord,” said Master George, “and I wouldn’t want to keep you from your work or more enjoyable conversation. My purpose here will be almost done once I say that my name is George Heriot, a close friend of yours, and I was introduced to work for the Royal Family of Scotland over twenty years ago by your esteemed father; and that, after hearing from one of your followers that you are in this city for some important business, it’s my duty—and my pleasure—to pay my respects to the son of my respected patron; and, since I’m somewhat known at both the Court and in the city, I’d like to offer any support in advancing your affairs that my reputation and experience can provide.”

“I have no doubt of either, Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel, “and I thank you heartily for the good-will with which you have placed them at a stranger's disposal; but my business at Court is done and ended, and I intend to leave London and, indeed, the island, for foreign travel and military service. I may add, that the suddenness of my departure occasions my having little time at my disposal.”

“I have no doubt about either, Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel, “and I sincerely thank you for the kindness with which you have offered them to a stranger; however, my business at Court is complete, and I plan to leave London and, in fact, the country, for travel abroad and military service. I should also mention that the suddenness of my departure means I have very little time to spare.”

Master Heriot did not take the hint, but sat fast, with an embarrassed countenance however, like one who had something to say that he knew not exactly how to make effectual. At length he said, with a dubious smile, “You are fortunate, my lord, in having so soon dispatched your business at Court. Your talking landlady informs me you have been but a fortnight in this city. It is usually months and years ere the Court and a suitor shake hands and part.”

Master Heriot didn’t take the hint but remained seated, looking somewhat embarrassed, like someone who had something to say but wasn’t sure how to say it effectively. Finally, he said with a hesitant smile, “You’re lucky, my lord, to have taken care of your business at Court so quickly. Your chatty landlady tells me you’ve only been in this city for a fortnight. Usually, it takes months or even years for the Court and a suitor to reach an agreement and part ways.”

“My business,” said Lord Nigel, with a brevity which was intended to stop further discussion, “was summarily dispatched.”

“My business,” said Lord Nigel, with a shortness meant to end further discussion, “was quickly taken care of.”

Still Master Heriot remained seated, and there was a cordial good-humour added to the reverence of his appearance, which rendered it impossible for Lord Nigel to be more explicit in requesting his absence.

Still Master Heriot stayed seated, and there was a friendly warmth to his presence that made it impossible for Lord Nigel to be more direct in asking him to leave.

“Your lordship has not yet had time,” said the citizen, still attempting to sustain the conversation, “to visit the places of amusement,—the playhouses, and other places to which youth resort. But I see in your lordship's hand one of the new-invented plots of the piece, [Footnote: Meaning, probably, playbills.] which they hand about of late—May I ask what play?”

“Your lordship hasn’t had a chance yet,” the citizen said, still trying to keep the conversation going, “to check out the entertainment spots—the theaters and other places where young people hang out. But I notice you’re holding one of the newly invented playbills, which they’ve been passing around lately—May I ask what play it is?”

“Oh! a well-known piece,” said Lord Nigel, impatiently throwing down the Proclamation, which he had hitherto been twisting to and fro in his hand,—“an excellent and well-approved piece—A New Way to Pay Old Debts.

“Oh! a familiar piece,” said Lord Nigel, impatiently tossing aside the Proclamation, which he had been twisting in his hand—“an excellent and well-approved piece—A New Way to Pay Old Debts.

Master Heriot stooped down, saying, “Ah! my old acquaintance, Philip Massinger;” but, having opened the paper and seen the purport, he looked at Lord Nigel with surprise, saying, “I trust your lordship does not think this prohibition can extend either to your person or your claims?”

Master Heriot bent down and said, “Ah! my old friend, Philip Massinger;” but after he opened the paper and saw what it was about, he looked at Lord Nigel in surprise and said, “I hope, my lord, that you don’t believe this ban applies to you or your claims?”

“I should scarce have thought so myself,” said the young nobleman; “but so it proves. His Majesty, to close this discourse at once, has been pleased to send me this Proclamation, in answer to a respectful Supplication for the repayment of large loans advanced by my father for the service of the State, in the king's utmost emergencies.”

“I wouldn't have thought it myself,” said the young nobleman; “but it turns out to be true. His Majesty, to wrap up this discussion quickly, has kindly sent me this Proclamation in response to a respectful request for the repayment of the large loans my father made for the service of the State during the king's dire emergencies.”

“It is impossible!” said the citizen—“it is absolutely impossible!—If the king could forget what was due to your father's memory, still he would not have wished—would not, I may say, have dared—to be so flagrantly unjust to the memory of such a man as your father, who, dead in the body, will long live in the memory of the Scottish people.”

“It can't be done!” exclaimed the citizen. “It is utterly impossible! If the king could forget what was owed to your father's legacy, he still wouldn't want—wouldn't, I might add, have the guts—to be so openly unfair to the memory of someone like your father, who, even though he has passed away, will be remembered by the Scottish people for a long time.”

“I should have been of your opinion,” answered Lord Nigel, in the same tone as before; “but there is no fighting with facts.”

“I should have agreed with you,” replied Lord Nigel, in the same tone as before; “but you can't argue with facts.”

“What was the tenor of this Supplication?” said Heriot; “or by whom was it presented? Something strange there must have been in the contents, or else—”

“What was the tone of this Supplication?” said Heriot; “and who presented it? There must have been something unusual in the contents, or else—”

“You may see my original draught,” said the young lord, taking it out of a small travelling strong-box; “the technical part is by my lawyer in Scotland, a skilful and sensible man; the rest is my own, drawn, I hope, with due deference and modesty.”

“You can take a look at my original draft,” said the young lord, pulling it out of a small travel safe. “The technical part is done by my lawyer in Scotland, who is a skilled and sensible guy; the rest is my own work, drawn, I hope, with proper respect and humility.”

Master Heriot hastly cast his eye over the draught. “Nothing,” he said, “can be more well-tempered and respectful. Is it possible the king can have treated this petition with contempt?”

Master Heriot quickly glanced at the draft. “Nothing,” he said, “can be more well-crafted and respectful. Could it be that the king has dismissed this petition with scorn?”

“He threw it down on the pavement,” said the Lord of Glenvarloch, “and sent me for answer that Proclamation, in which he classes me with the paupers and mendicants from Scotland, who disgrace his Court in the eyes of the proud English—that is all. Had not my father stood by him with heart, sword, and fortune, he might never have seen the Court of England himself.”

“He threw it down on the pavement,” said the Lord of Glenvarloch, “and sent me for an answer about that Proclamation, where he puts me in the same category as the poor and beggars from Scotland, who bring shame to his Court in the eyes of the proud English—that’s all. If my father hadn’t supported him with heart, sword, and wealth, he might never have set foot in the Court of England himself.”

“But by whom was this Supplication presented, my lord?” said Heriot; “for the distaste taken at the messenger will sometimes extend itself to the message.”

“But who submitted this request, my lord?” said Heriot; “because any dislike for the messenger can sometimes be directed at the message itself.”

“By my servant,” said the Lord Nigel; “by the man you saw, and, I think, were kind to.”

“By my servant,” said Lord Nigel; “by the man you saw, and, I believe, were nice to.”

“By your servant, my lord?” said the citizen; “he seems a shrewd fellow, and doubtless a faithful; but surely—”

“By your servant, my lord?” said the citizen; “he seems like a smart guy, and definitely loyal; but surely—”

“You would say,” said Lord Nigel, “he is no fit messenger to a king's presence?—Surely he is not; but what could I do? Every attempt I had made to lay my case before the king had miscarried, and my petitions got no farther than the budgets of clerks and secretaries; this fellow pretended he had a friend in the household that would bring him to the king's presence,—and so—”

“You'd say,” Lord Nigel said, “that he's not a suitable messenger for the king?—Of course, he isn't; but what could I do? Every effort I made to present my case to the king failed, and my requests didn't get past the clerks and secretaries. This guy claimed he had a friend in the royal household who could get him in to see the king—and so—”

“I understand,” said Heriot; “but, my lord, why should you not, in right of your rank and birth, have appeared at Court, and required an audience, which could not have been denied to you?”

“I understand,” said Heriot; “but, my lord, why shouldn’t you, given your rank and birth, have gone to Court and asked for an audience that couldn’t have been refused?”

The young lord blushed a little, and looked at his dress, which was very plain; and, though in perfect good order, had the appearance of having seen service.

The young lord flushed slightly and glanced at his outfit, which was very simple; and although it was in perfect shape, it looked like it had been worn a lot.

“I know not why I should be ashamed of speaking the truth,” he said, after a momentary hesitation,—“I had no dress suitable for appearing at Court. I am determined to incur no expenses which I cannot discharge; and I think you, sir, would not advise me to stand at the palace-door, in person, and deliver my petition, along with those who are in very deed pleading their necessity, and begging an alms.”

“I don’t understand why I should be embarrassed to speak the truth,” he said after a brief pause. “I didn't have clothes that were appropriate for appearing at Court. I'm determined not to spend any money I can't pay back; and I believe you wouldn't suggest that I stand at the palace door in person, delivering my petition alongside those who are actually pleading their needs and asking for charity.”

“That had been, indeed, unseemly,” said the citizen; “but yet, my lord, my mind runs strangely that there must be some mistake.—Can I speak with your domestic?”

“That was definitely inappropriate,” said the citizen; “but still, my lord, I have a strange feeling that there might be some mistake.—Can I speak with your servant?”

“I see little good it can do,” answered the young lord, “but the interest you take in my misfortunes seems sincere, and therefore——” He stamped on the floor, and in a few seconds afterwards Moniplies appeared, wiping from his beard and mustaches the crumbs of bread, and the froth of the ale-pot, which plainly showed how he had been employed.—“Will your lordship grant permission,” said Heriot, “that I ask your groom a few questions?”

“I don’t see how it can help,” replied the young lord, “but your genuine concern for my troubles is appreciated, so—” He stomped on the floor, and a few seconds later, Moniplies showed up, wiping bread crumbs and ale foam from his beard and mustache, clearly indicating what he had been doing. —“Will your lordship allow me,” said Heriot, “to ask your groom a few questions?”

“His lordship's page, Master George,” answered Moniplies, with a nod of acknowledgment, “if you are minded to speak according to the letter.”

“His lordship's page, Master George,” replied Moniplies, giving a nod of acknowledgment, “if you're inclined to speak literally.”

“Hold your saucy tongue,” said his master, “and reply distinctly to the questions you are to be asked.”

“Keep your mouth in check,” said his master, “and answer clearly to the questions you’ll be asked.”

“And truly, if it like your pageship,” said the citizen, “for you may remember I have a gift to discover falset.”

“And truly, if it pleases your lordship,” said the citizen, “for you may recall I have a talent for spotting deception.”

“Weel, weel, weel,” replied the domestic, somewhat embarrassed, in spite of his effrontery—“though I think that the sort of truth that serves my master, may weel serve ony ane else.”

“Weel, weel, weel,” replied the servant, a bit embarrassed despite his boldness—“though I think the kind of truth that works for my master can easily work for anyone else.”

“Pages lie to their masters by right of custom,” said the citizen; “and you write yourself in that band, though I think you be among the oldest of such springalds; but to me you must speak truth, if you would not have it end in the whipping-post.”

“Servants lie to their masters because it’s the norm,” said the citizen; “and you’re part of that group, even though I think you’re one of the oldest of those fools; but you need to tell me the truth if you don’t want this to end with you at the whipping post.”

“And that's e'en a bad resting-place,” said the well-grown page; “so come away with your questions, Master George.”

“And that's not a good resting place,” said the well-built page; “so come along with your questions, Master George.”

“Well, then,” demanded the citizen, “I am given to understand that you yesterday presented to his Majesty's hand a Supplication, or petition, from this honourable lord, your master.”

“Well, then,” the citizen asked, “I understand that you submitted a petition to His Majesty yesterday on behalf of this honorable lord, your master.”

“Troth, there's nae gainsaying that, sir,” replied Moniplies; “there were enow to see it besides me.”

“Honestly, there's no denying that, sir,” replied Moniplies; “there were plenty of others to witness it besides me.”

“And you pretend that his Majesty flung it from him with contempt?” said the citizen. “Take heed, for I have means of knowing the truth; and you were better up to the neck in the Nor-Loch, which you like so well, than tell a leasing where his Majesty's name is concerned.”

“And you act like His Majesty tossed it away in disgust?” said the citizen. “Be careful, because I have ways of knowing the truth; and you’d be better off waist-deep in the Nor-Loch, which you enjoy so much, than to tell a lie when it comes to His Majesty’s name.”

“There is nae occasion for leasing-making about the matter,” answered Moniplies, firmly; “his Majesty e'en flung it frae him as if it had dirtied his fingers.”

“There’s no need to dance around the issue,” Moniplies replied firmly. “His Majesty tossed it aside like it was something that had dirtied his hands.”

“You hear, sir,” said Olifaunt, addressing Heriot.

“You hear this, sir,” said Olifaunt, speaking to Heriot.

“Hush!” said the sagacious citizen; “this fellow is not ill named—he has more plies than one in his cloak. Stay, fellow,” for Moniplies, muttering somewhat about finishing his breakfast, was beginning to shamble towards the door, “answer me this farther question—When you gave your master's petition to his Majesty, gave you nothing with it?”

“Hush!” said the wise citizen; “this guy is aptly named—he has more than one layer to his cloak. Hold on a second,” for Moniplies, mumbling something about finishing his breakfast, was starting to shuffle towards the door, “answer me this additional question—When you handed your master's request to his Majesty, did you include anything with it?”

“Ou, what should I give wi' it, ye ken, Master George?”

“Or, what should I give with it, you know, Master George?”

“That is what I desire and insist to know,” replied his interrogator.

"That's what I want to know," replied his questioner.

“Weel, then—I am not free to say, that maybe I might not just slip into the king's hand a wee bit Sifflication of mine ain, along with my lord's—just to save his Majesty trouble—and that he might consider them baith at ance.”

"Weell, then—I can't openly say that I might not just hand the king a little request of my own, along with my lord's—just to save His Majesty some trouble—and that he might consider both at once."

“A supplication of your own, you varlet!” said his master.

“A request of your own, you scoundrel!” said his master.

“Ou dear, ay, my lord,” said Richie—“puir bodies hae their bits of sifflications as weel as their betters.”

“Ah dear, yes, my lord,” said Richie—“poor folks have their little troubles just like the rest.”

“And pray, what might your worshipful petition import?” said Master Heriot.—“Nay, for Heaven's sake, my lord, keep your patience, or we shall never learn the truth of this strange matter.—Speak out, sirrah, and I will stand your friend with my lord.”

“And please, what does your esteemed request entail?” Master Heriot said. “For heaven's sake, my lord, please be patient, or we’ll never uncover the truth of this odd situation. Speak up, good sir, and I’ll support you with my lord.”

“It's a lang story to tell—but the upshot is, that it's a scrape of an auld accompt due to my father's yestate by her Majesty the king's maist gracious mother, when she lived in the Castle, and had sundry providings and furnishings forth of our booth, whilk nae doubt was an honour to my father to supply, and whilk, doubtless, it will be a credit to his Majesty to satisfy, as it will be grit convenience to me to receive the saam.”

“It's a long story to tell—but the bottom line is, it's a payment owed to my father's estate by Her Majesty the king's most gracious mother when she lived in the Castle. She had various provisions and furnishings from our shop, which was undoubtedly an honor for my father to provide, and it will certainly be a credit to His Majesty to pay, as it would be a great convenience for me to receive the same.”

“What string of impertinence is this?” said his master.

“What kind of disrespect is this?” said his master.

“Every word as true as e'er John Knox spoke,” said Richie; “here's the bit double of the Sifflication.”

“Every word as true as ever John Knox spoke,” said Richie; “here's the little double of the Sifflication.”

Master George took a crumpled paper from the fellow's hand, and said, muttering betwixt his teeth—“'Humbly showeth—um—um—his Majesty's maist gracious mother—um—um—justly addebted and owing the sum of fifteen merks—the compt whereof followeth—Twelve nowte's feet for jellies—ane lamb, being Christmas—ane roasted capin in grease for the privy chalmer, when my Lord of Bothwell suppit with her Grace.'—I think, my lord, you can hardly be surprised that the king gave this petition a brisk reception; and I conclude, Master Page, that you took care to present your own Supplication before your master's?”

Master George took a wrinkled paper from the guy's hand and said, muttering under his breath, “'Humbly shows—um—um—his Majesty's most gracious mother—um—um—justly owed the sum of fifteen merks—the account of which follows—Twelve cattle's feet for jellies—one lamb for Christmas—one roasted capon in grease for the private chamber, when my Lord of Bothwell dined with her Grace.'—I think, my lord, you can hardly be surprised that the king reacted quickly to this petition; and I assume, Master Page, that you made sure to present your own request before your master?”

“Troth did I not,” answered Moniplies. “I thought to have given my lord's first, as was reason gude; and besides that, it wad have redd the gate for my ain little bill. But what wi' the dirdum an' confusion, an' the loupin here and there of the skeigh brute of a horse, I believe I crammed them baith into his hand cheek-by-jowl, and maybe my ain was bunemost; and say there was aught wrang, I am sure I had a' the fright and a' the risk—”

“Of course I didn’t,” Moniplies replied. “I meant to give my lord’s first, as it was the right thing to do; and on top of that, it would have cleared the way for my own little bill. But with all the noise and chaos, and the horse bouncing around everywhere, I think I shoved both of them into his hand all jumbled together, and maybe my own was on the bottom; and if there was anything wrong, I’m sure I took all the fright and all the risk—”

“And shall have all the beating, you rascal knave,” said Nigel; “am I to be insulted and dishonoured by your pragmatical insolence, in blending your base concerns with mine?”

“And you’ll get all the punishment you deserve, you scoundrel,” said Nigel. “Am I really supposed to put up with your annoying arrogance, mixing your petty issues with mine?”

“Nay, nay, nay, my lord,” said the good-humoured citizen, interposing, “I have been the means of bringing the fellow's blunder to light—allow me interest enough with your lordship to be bail for his bones. You have cause to be angry, but still I think the knave mistook more out of conceit than of purpose; and I judge you will have the better service of him another time, if you overlook this fault—Get you gone, sirrah—I'll make your peace.”

“No, no, no, my lord,” said the cheerful citizen, stepping in, “I was the one who brought this guy's mistake to your attention—please let me have enough influence with you to vouch for him. You have every right to be upset, but I really think the fool acted out of arrogance rather than intention; and I believe you'll get better service from him next time if you forgive this error—Now get out of here, you rascal—I’ll sort this out for you.”

“Na, na,” said Moniplies, keeping his ground firmly, “if he likes to strike a lad that has followed him for pure love, for I think there has been little servant's fee between us, a' the way frae Scotland, just let my lord be doing, and see the credit he will get by it—and I would rather (mony thanks to you though, Master George) stand by a lick of his baton, than it suld e'er be said a stranger came between us.”

“Not at all,” said Moniplies, standing his ground firmly, “if he wants to hit a guy who’s followed him out of genuine admiration, since I think there hasn’t been much of a servant's fee between us on the whole trip from Scotland, let my lord go ahead and see the reputation he’ll earn from it—and I’d rather (thanks a lot to you, though, Master George) take a hit from his stick than ever let it be said that a stranger came between us.”

“Go, then,” said his master, “and get out of my sight.”

“Go on,” his master said, “and get out of my sight.”

“Aweel I wot that is sune done,” said Moniplies, retiring slowly; “I did not come without I had been ca'd for—and I wad have been away half an hour since with my gude will, only Maister George keepit me to answer his interrogation, forsooth, and that has made a' this stir.”

“Aye, I know it’s already done,” said Moniplies, backing away slowly; “I didn’t come here unless I was called—and I would have left half an hour ago of my own accord, only Mr. George kept me to answer his questions, honestly, and that’s what caused all this commotion.”

And so he made his grumbling exit, with the tone much rather of one who has sustained an injury, than who has done wrong.

And so he left grumbling, sounding more like someone who had been wronged than someone who had done something wrong.

“There never was a man so plagued as I am with a malapert knave!—The fellow is shrewd, and I have found him faithful—I believe he loves me, too, and he has given proofs of it—but then he is so uplifted in his own conceit, so self-willed, and so self-opinioned, that he seems to become the master and I the man; and whatever blunder he commits, he is sure to make as loud complaints, as if the whole error lay with me, and in no degree with himself.”

“There has never been a man so troubled as I am by a cheeky scoundrel!—The guy is clever, and I’ve found him loyal—I think he loves me too, and he’s shown it—but he’s so full of himself, so stubborn, and so set in his own opinions that he seems to take charge while I’m just the one following. And whenever he makes a mistake, he’s sure to complain loudly, as if the whole blame falls on me and not at all on him.”

“Cherish him, and maintain him, nevertheless,” said the citizen; “for believe my grey hairs, that affection and fidelity are now rarer qualities in a servitor, than when the world was younger. Yet, trust him, my good lord, with no commission above his birth or breeding, for you see yourself how it may chance to fall.”

“Take care of him and keep him close,” the citizen said. “Trust me, with my grey hairs, affection and loyalty are rarer in a servant now than they were when the world was younger. But, my good lord, don't give him any duties beyond his upbringing or background, because you can see how things might turn out.”

“It is but too evident, Master Heriot,” said the young nobleman; “and I am sorry I have done injustice to my sovereign, and your master. But I am, like a true Scotsman, wise behind hand—the mistake has happened—my Supplication has been refused, and my only resource is to employ the rest of my means to carry Moniplies and myself to some counter-scarp, and die in the battle-front like my ancestors.”

“It’s pretty obvious, Master Heriot,” said the young nobleman; “and I regret that I’ve wronged my king and your master. But I am, like a true Scotsman, wise after the fact—the mistake has been made—my request has been turned down, and my only option now is to use what I have left to take Moniplies and myself to some battlefield and die fighting like my ancestors.”

“It were better to live and serve your country like your noble father, my lord,” replied Master George. “Nay, nay, never look down or shake your head—the king has not refused your Supplication, for he has not seen it—you ask but justice, and that his place obliges him to give to his subjects—ay, my lord, and I will say that his natural temper doth in this hold bias with his duty.”

“It’s better to live and serve your country like your noble father, my lord,” replied Master George. “No, no, don’t look down or shake your head—the king hasn’t refused your petition because he hasn’t seen it—you only ask for justice, which his position requires him to provide to his subjects—yes, my lord, and I’ll say that his natural temperament aligns with his duty in this matter.”

“I were well pleased to think so, and yet——” said Nigel Olifaunt,—“I speak not of my own wrongs, but my country hath many that are unredressed.”

“I would be quite happy to think that way, and yet——” said Nigel Olifaunt,—“I’m not talking about my own grievances, but my country has many that haven't been addressed.”

“My lord,” said Master Heriot, “I speak of my royal master, not only with the respect due from a subject—the gratitude to be paid by a favoured servant, but also with the frankness of a free and loyal Scotsman. The king is himself well disposed to hold the scales of justice even; but there are those around him who can throw without detection their own selfish wishes and base interests into the scale. You are already a sufferer by this, and without your knowing it.”

“My lord,” said Master Heriot, “I speak of my king not only with the respect a subject should show and the gratitude a favored servant owes, but also with the honesty of a free and loyal Scotsman. The king himself is inclined to keep justice balanced, but there are people around him who can secretly tip the scales in favor of their own selfish desires and low interests. You have already been affected by this, and without your awareness.”

“I am surprised, Master Heriot,” said the young lord, “to hear you, upon so short an acquaintance, talk as if you were familiarly acquainted with my affairs.”

“I’m surprised, Master Heriot,” said the young lord, “to hear you, after knowing me for such a short time, speak as if you were well-acquainted with my business.”

“My lord,” replied the goldsmith, “the nature of my employment affords me direct access to the interior of the palace; I am well known to be no meddler in intrigues or party affairs, so that no favourite has as yet endeavoured to shut against me the door of the royal closet; on the contrary, I have stood well with each while he was in power, and I have not shared the fall of any. But I cannot be thus connected with the Court, without hearing, even against my will, what wheels are in motion, and how they are checked or forwarded. Of course, when I choose to seek such intelligence, I know the sources in which it is to be traced. I have told you why I was interested in your lordship's fortunes. It was last night only that I knew you were in this city, yet I have been able, in coming hither this morning, to gain for you some information respecting the impediments to your suit.”

“My lord,” replied the goldsmith, “my job gives me direct access to the inside of the palace; I’m well known for not getting involved in intrigues or political matters, so no favorite has tried to keep me away from the royal closet. In fact, I’ve kept good relations with each of them while they were in power, and I haven’t been affected by any of their downfalls. However, being connected to the Court means I can’t help but hear, whether I want to or not, what’s happening behind the scenes and how things are being influenced. Naturally, if I want to gather more information, I know exactly where to look. I’ve explained why I’m interested in your lordship’s situation. Just last night was when I discovered you were in this city, yet I’ve managed, by coming here this morning, to find some information for you about the obstacles to your case.”

“Sir, I am obliged by your zeal, however little it may be merited,” answered Nigel, still with some reserve; “yet I hardly know how I have deserved this interest.”

“Sir, I appreciate your enthusiasm, no matter how justified it may be,” answered Nigel, still a bit hesitant; “but I’m not sure how I’ve earned this attention.”

“First let me satisfy you that it is real,” said the citizen; “I blame you not for being unwilling to credit the fair professions of a stranger in my inferior class of society, when you have met so little friendship from relations, and those of your own rank, bound to have assisted you by so many ties. But mark the cause. There is a mortgage over your father's extensive estate, to the amount of 40,000 merks, due ostensibly to Peregrine Peterson, the Conservator of Scottish Privileges at Campvere.”

“First, let me assure you that it's real,” said the citizen. “I don’t blame you for being hesitant to trust the kind words of a stranger from my lower social class, especially when you’ve received so little support from your own family and others of your rank who should have helped you. But pay attention to the reason. There’s a mortgage on your father’s vast estate for 40,000 merks, supposedly owed to Peregrine Peterson, the Conservator of Scottish Privileges at Campvere.”

“I know nothing of a mortgage,” said the young lord; “but there is a wadset for such a sum, which, if unredeemed, will occasion the forfeiture of my whole paternal estate, for a sum not above a fourth of its value—and it is for that very reason that I press the king's government for a settlement of the debts due to my father, that I may be able to redeem my land from this rapacious creditor.”

“I don’t know anything about a mortgage,” said the young lord; “but there’s a loan for that amount, which, if not paid off, will lead to the loss of my entire family estate, for an amount that’s not even a quarter of its value—and that’s exactly why I’m urging the king’s government to settle my father’s debts, so I can redeem my land from this greedy creditor.”

“A wadset in Scotland,” said Heriot, “is the same with a mortgage on this side of the Tweed; but you are not acquainted with your real creditor. The Conservator Peterson only lends his name to shroud no less a man than the Lord Chancellor of Scotland, who hopes, under cover of this debt, to gain possession of the estate himself, or perhaps to gratify a yet more powerful third party. He will probably suffer his creature Peterson to take possession, and when the odium of the transaction shall be forgotten, the property and lordship of Glenvarloch will be conveyed to the great man by his obsequious instrument, under cover of a sale, or some similar device.”

“A wadset in Scotland,” said Heriot, “is the same as a mortgage on this side of the Tweed; but you don’t really know your true creditor. The Conservator Peterson is just a front for none other than the Lord Chancellor of Scotland, who hopes that, under the guise of this debt, he can seize the estate for himself, or maybe satisfy an even more powerful third party. He’ll likely let his pawn Peterson take possession, and once the bad feelings around this deal have faded, the property and lordship of Glenvarloch will be transferred to the big man through his compliant agent, disguised as a sale or some similar trick.”

“Can this be possible?” said Lord Nigel; “the Chancellor wept when I took leave of him—called me his cousin—even his son—furnished me with letters, and, though I asked him for no pecuniary assistance, excused himself unnecessarily for not pressing it on me, alleging the expenses of his rank and his large family. No, I cannot believe a nobleman would carry deceit so far.”

“Is this really happening?” said Lord Nigel. “The Chancellor cried when I said goodbye—called me his cousin, even his son—gave me letters, and although I didn’t ask him for any financial help, he felt the need to explain why he wasn’t offering it, saying it was because of the costs of his status and his big family. No, I can’t believe a nobleman would be this dishonest.”

“I am not, it is true, of noble blood,” said the citizen; “but once more I bid you look on my grey hairs, and think what can be my interest in dishonouring them with falsehood in affairs in which I have no interest, save as they regard the son of my benefactor. Reflect also, have you had any advantage from the Lord Chancellor's letters?”

“I may not be of noble blood,” said the citizen, “but once again I urge you to look at my gray hairs and consider what reason I have to dishonor them with lies in matters that don't concern me, except for how they relate to the son of my benefactor. Also, think about it: have you gained anything from the Lord Chancellor's letters?”

“None,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “except cold deeds and fair words. I have thought for some time, their only object was to get rid of me—one yesterday pressed money on me when I talked of going abroad, in order that I might not want the means of exiling myself.”

“None,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “except harsh actions and sweet talk. I've been thinking for a while that their only goal was to get rid of me—one person even offered me money when I mentioned going abroad, so I wouldn’t lack the funds to leave.”

“Right,” said Heriot; “rather than you fled not, they would themselves furnish wings for you to fly withal.”

"Right," said Heriot; "instead of you running away, they would give you wings to help you escape."

“I will to him this instant,” said the incensed youth, “and tell him my mind of his baseness.”

“I’m going to him right now,” said the angry young man, “and I’ll tell him what I think of his dishonor.”

“Under your favour,” said Heriot, detaining him, “you shall not do so. By a quarrel you would become the ruin of me your informer; and though I would venture half my shop to do your lordship a service, I think you would hardly wish me to come by damage, when it can be of no service to you.”

“Please, my lord,” said Heriot, stopping him, “you can’t do that. If you start a fight, it would ruin me, your informant; and while I would risk half my shop to help you, I doubt you’d want me to get hurt when it wouldn’t benefit you.”

The word shop sounded harshly in the ear of the young nobleman, who replied hastily—“Damage, sir?—so far am I from wishing you to incur damage, that I would to Heaven you would cease your fruitless offers of serving one whom there is no chance of ultimately assisting!”

The word shop sounded rough to the young nobleman, who quickly responded, “Damage, sir? Far from wanting you to suffer any harm, I wish to God you would stop your pointless offers to help someone whom you cannot ultimately assist!”

“Leave me alone for that,” said the citizen: “you have now erred as far on the bow-hand. Permit me to take this Supplication—I will have it suitably engrossed, and take my own time (and it shall be an early one) for placing it, with more prudence, I trust, than that used by your follower, in the king's hand—I will almost answer for his taking up the matter as you would have him—but should he fail to do so, even then I will not give up the good cause.”

“Leave me alone about that,” said the citizen. “You've made a mistake with your approach. Let me handle this Supplication—I’ll get it properly written up, and I’ll take my time (and it will be sooner rather than later) to present it, hopefully with more care than your follower showed, to the king. I’m almost certain he'll take it as you want him to—but if he doesn’t, I still won’t abandon the good cause.”

“Sir,” said the young nobleman, “your speech is so friendly, and my own state so helpless, that I know not how to refuse your kind proffer, even while I blush to accept it at the hands of a stranger.”

“Sir,” said the young nobleman, “your words are so kind, and my situation so desperate, that I don’t know how to turn down your generous offer, even though I feel embarrassed to accept it from someone I don’t know.”

“We are, I trust, no longer such,” said the goldsmith; “and for my guerdon, when my mediation proves successful, and your fortunes are re-established, you shall order your first cupboard of plate from George Heriot.”

“We are, I hope, no longer like that,” said the goldsmith; “and for my reward, when my help proves successful and your fortunes are restored, you will order your first set of silverware from George Heriot.”

“You would have a bad paymaster, Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel.

“You would have a bad boss, Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel.

“I do not fear that,” replied the goldsmith; “and I am glad to see you smile, my lord—methinks it makes you look still more like the good old lord your father; and it emboldens me, besides, to bring out a small request—that you would take a homely dinner with me to-morrow. I lodge hard by in Lombard Street. For the cheer, my lord, a mess of white broth, a fat capon well larded, a dish of beef collops for auld Scotland's sake, and it may be a cup of right old wine, that was barrelled before Scotland and England were one nation—Then for company, one or two of our own loving countrymen—and maybe my housewife may find out a bonny Scots lass or so.”

“I’m not worried about that,” the goldsmith replied. “I’m just happy to see you smile, my lord—it makes you look even more like your father, the good old lord. Plus, it gives me the courage to ask a small favor: would you join me for a simple dinner tomorrow? I live nearby on Lombard Street. As for the meal, it will be a bowl of white broth, a well-roasted capon, a dish of beef slices for old Scotland’s sake, and perhaps a cup of fine old wine that was bottled before Scotland and England were one nation. For company, I’ll invite one or two of our fellow countrymen—and maybe my wife can find a lovely Scottish girl or two.”

“I would accept your courtesy, Master Heriot,” said Nigel, “but I hear the city ladies of London like to see a man gallant—I would not like to let down a Scottish nobleman in their ideas, as doubtless you have said the best of our poor country, and I rather lack the means of bravery for the present.”

“I’d gladly accept your kindness, Master Heriot,” said Nigel, “but I’ve heard that the ladies of London expect a man to be chivalrous—I wouldn’t want to disappoint a Scottish nobleman in their eyes, especially since you’ve surely spoken highly of our humble country, and right now, I’m not really in a position to be brave.”

“My lord, your frankness leads me a step farther,” said Master George. “I—I owed your father some monies; and—nay, if your lordship looks at me so fixedly, I shall never tell my story—and, to speak plainly, for I never could carry a lie well through in my life—it is most fitting, that, to solicit this matter properly, your lordship should go to Court in a manner beseeming your quality. I am a goldsmith, and live by lending money as well as by selling plate. I am ambitious to put an hundred pounds to be at interest in your hands, till your affairs are settled.”

“My lord, your honesty prompts me to go a bit further,” said Master George. “I—I owed your father some money; and—if you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to share my story—and to be straightforward, since I’ve never been good at telling lies, it’s only right that, to address this matter properly, you should approach the Court in a way that befits your status. I’m a goldsmith, and I make my living not just by selling items but also by lending money. I’m eager to lend you a hundred pounds to keep at interest until your issues are sorted out.”

“And if they are never favourably settled?” said Nigel.

“And what if they never get sorted out favorably?” said Nigel.

“Then, my lord,” returned the citizen, “the miscarriage of such a sum will be of little consequence to me, compared with other subjects of regret.”

“Then, my lord,” replied the citizen, “losing such an amount doesn’t matter much to me, considering my other regrets.”

“Master Heriot,” said the Lord Nigel, “your favour is generously offered, and shall be frankly accepted. I must presume that you see your way through this business, though I hardly do; for I think you would be grieved to add any fresh burden to me, by persuading me to incur debts which I am not likely to discharge. I will therefore take your money, under the hope and trust that you will enable me to repay you punctually.”

“Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel, “thank you for your generous offer, and I gladly accept it. I assume you have a good understanding of this situation, even though I don't; I believe you wouldn't want to add any more pressure on me by encouraging me to take on debts that I probably won't be able to pay off. So, I will take your money, hoping that you'll help me repay you on time.”

“I will convince you, my lord,” said the goldsmith, “that I mean to deal with you as a creditor from whom I expect payment; and therefore, you shall, with your own good pleasure, sign an acknowledgment for these monies, and an obligation to content and repay me.”

“I will persuade you, my lord,” said the goldsmith, “that I intend to treat you as a creditor owed payment; therefore, you will, at your own convenience, sign a receipt for this money and a commitment to settle and repay me.”

He then took from his girdle his writing materials, and, writing a few lines to the purport he expressed, pulled out a small bag of gold from a side-pouch under his cloak, and, observing that it should contain an hundred pounds, proceeded to tell out the contents very methodically upon the table. Nigel Olifaunt could not help intimating that this was an unnecessary ceremonial, and that he would take the bag of gold on the word of his obliging creditor; but this was repugnant to the old man's forms of transacting business.

He then took his writing materials from his belt and, after jotting down a few lines about what he meant, pulled out a small bag of gold from a side pocket under his cloak. Noticing it should contain a hundred pounds, he carefully counted out the contents on the table. Nigel Olifaunt couldn’t help but suggest that this was an unnecessary formality and that he would trust his nice creditor on the amount of gold. However, this was against the old man's way of doing business.

“Bear with me,” he said, “my good lord,—we citizens are a wary and thrifty generation; and I should lose my good name for ever within the toll of Paul's, were I to grant quittance, or take acknowledgment, without bringing the money to actual tale. I think it be right now—and, body of me,” he said, looking out at the window, “yonder come my boys with my mule; for I must Westward Hoe. Put your monies aside, my lord; it is not well to be seen with such goldfinches chirping about one in the lodgings of London. I think the lock of your casket be indifferent good; if not, I can serve you at an easy rate with one that has held thousands;—it was the good old Sir Faithful Frugal's;—his spendthrift son sold the shell when he had eaten the kernel—and there is the end of a city-fortune.”

“Hang on a second,” he said, “my good lord—we citizens are careful and thrifty folks; and I would lose my reputation forever in the toll of Paul's if I let go of money or take acknowledgment without actually counting the cash. I think it's right now—and, heavens,” he said, looking out the window, “here come my boys with my mule; I have to head Westward Hoe. Put your money away, my lord; it’s not a good look to be seen with such goldfinches fluttering around in the lodgings of London. I think the lock on your casket is pretty decent; if it’s not, I can help you at a fair price with one that’s held thousands—it belonged to the good old Sir Faithful Frugal; his wasteful son sold the shell after he had eaten the kernel—and that’s the end of a city fortune.”

“I hope yours will make a better termination, Master Heriot,” said the Lord Nigel.

“I hope yours will have a better ending, Master Heriot,” said Lord Nigel.

“I hope it will, my lord,” said the old man, with a smile; “but,” to use honest John Bunyan's phrase—'therewithal the water stood in his eyes,' “it has pleased God to try me with the loss of two children; and for one adopted shild who lves—Ah! woe is me! and well-a-day!—But I am patient and thankful; and for the wealth God has sent me, it shall not want inheritors while there are orphan lads in Auld Reekie.—I wish you good-morrow, my lord.”

“I hope so too, my lord,” said the old man with a smile; “but,” to quote honest John Bunyan—'at that moment, tears filled his eyes,' “God has chosen to test me with the loss of two children; and for one adopted child who lives—Ah! woe is me! What a sad day!—But I remain patient and grateful; and for the wealth God has given me, it will have heirs as long as there are orphan boys in Auld Reekie.—I wish you a good morning, my lord.”

“One orphan has cause to thank you already,” said Nigel, as he attended him to the door of his chamber, where, resisting further escort, the old citizen made his escape.

"One orphan has a reason to thank you already," said Nigel as he walked him to the door of his room, where, insisting on going alone, the old man made his escape.

As, in going downstairs, he passed the shop where Dame Christie stood becking, he made civil inquiries after her husband. The dame of course regretted his absence; but he was down, she said, at Deptford, to settle with a Dutch ship-master.

As he was going downstairs and walked past the shop where Dame Christie was standing and waving, he politely asked about her husband. She naturally expressed her regret about his absence; however, she mentioned that he was at Deptford to finalize things with a Dutch ship captain.

“Our way of business, sir,” she said, “takes him much from home, and my husband must be the slave of every tarry jacket that wants but a pound of oakum.”

“Our business model, sir,” she said, “keeps him away from home a lot, and my husband has to serve every dockworker who just needs a pound of oakum.”

“All business must be minded, dame,” said the goldsmith. “Make my remembrances—George Heriot, of Lombard Street's remembrances—to your goodman. I have dealt with him—he is just and punctual—true to time and engagements;—be kind to your noble guest, and see he wants nothing. Though it be his pleasure at present to lie private and retired, there be those that care for him, and I have a charge to see him supplied; so that you may let me know by your husband, my good dame, how my lord is, and whether he wants aught.”

“All business needs attention, ma’am,” said the goldsmith. “Please pass along my regards—George Heriot, from Lombard Street’s regards—to your husband. I have done business with him—he’s fair and reliable—always true to his word and commitments;—be attentive to your distinguished guest, and make sure he’s taken care of. Even though he prefers to keep a low profile right now, there are people who care about him, and I have a responsibility to ensure he has what he needs; so please let me know through your husband, my good lady, how my lord is doing, and if he needs anything.”

“And so he is a real lord after all?” said the good dame. “I am sure I always thought he looked like one. But why does he not go to Parliament, then?”

“And so he is a real lord after all?” said the good woman. “I always thought he looked like one. But why doesn’t he go to Parliament, then?”

“He will, dame,” answered Heriot, “to the Parliament of Scotland, which is his own country.”

“He will, ma'am,” replied Heriot, “to the Parliament of Scotland, which is his own country.”

“Oh! he is but a Scots lord, then,” said the good dame; “and that's the thing makes him ashamed to take the title, as they say.”

“Oh! he’s just a Scottish lord, then,” said the good woman; “and that’s why he’s embarrassed to use the title, as they say.”

“Let him not hear you say so, dame,” replied the citizen.

“Don’t let him hear you say that, lady,” replied the citizen.

“Who, I, sir?” answered she; “no such matter in my thought, sir. Scot or English, he is at any rate a likely man, and a civil man; and rather than he should want any thing, I would wait upon him myself, and come as far as Lombard Street to wait upon your worship too.”

“Who, me, sir?” she replied. “I’m not thinking about anything like that, sir. Whether he's Scottish or English, he's definitely a good-looking guy and a polite one. And if he needs anything, I’d be happy to help him myself and come all the way to Lombard Street to assist you too.”

“Let your husband come to me, good dame,” said the goldsmith, who, with all his experience and worth, was somewhat of a formalist and disciplinarian. “The proverb says, 'House goes mad when women gad;' and let his lordship's own man wait upon his master in his chamber—it is more seemly. God give ye good-morrow.”

“Tell your husband to come see me, good lady,” said the goldsmith, who, despite all his experience and value, was a bit of a stickler for rules and discipline. “There's a saying, 'A house goes crazy when women are out and about;' and it’s better for his lordship’s servant to attend to his master in his room—it’s more appropriate. Have a good morning.”

“Good-morrow to your worship,” said the dame, somewhat coldly; and, so soon as the adviser was out of hearing, was ungracious enough to mutter, in contempt of his council, “Marry quep of your advice, for an old Scotch tinsmith, as you are! My husband is as wise, and very near as old, as yourself; and if I please him, it is well enough; and though he is not just so rich just now as some folks, yet I hope to see him ride upon his moyle, with a foot-cloth, and have his two blue-coats after him, as well as they do.”

“Good morning to you,” said the woman, a bit coldly; and as soon as the adviser was out of earshot, she ungraciously muttered, in contempt of his advice, “What do I care for your counsel, you old Scottish tinsmith! My husband is just as wise, and nearly as old, as you; and if I keep him happy, that’s what matters. And even though he’s not as well-off right now as some people, I still hope to see him riding his mule, with a footcloth, and have his two blue-coated servants following him, just like they do.”










CHAPTER V

Wherefore come ye not to court? Certain 'tis the rarest sport; There are silks and jewels glistening, Prattling fools and wise men listening, Bullies among brave men justling, Beggars amongst nobles bustling; Low-breath'd talkers, minion lispers, Cutting honest throats by whispers; Wherefore come ye not to court? Skelton swears 'tis glorious sport. Skelton Skeltonizeth.

Why don't you come to court? It's a unique kind of fun; there are silks and jewels sparkling, Chattering fools and wise men listening, Tough guys among brave men jostling, Beggars among nobles bustling; Soft-spoken talkers, sneaky whisperers, Backstabbing good people with whispers; Why don't you come to court? Skelton swears it's an amazing time. Skelton Skeltonizeth.

It was not entirely out of parade that the benevolent citizen was mounted and attended in that manner, which, as the reader has been informed, excited a gentle degree of spleen on the part of Dame Christie, which, to do her justice, vanished in the little soliloquy which we have recorded. The good man, besides the natural desire to maintain the exterior of a man of worship, was at present bound to Whitehall in order to exhibit a piece of valuable workmanship to King James, which he deemed his Majesty might be pleased to view, or even to purchase. He himself was therefore mounted upon his caparisoned mule, that he might the better make his way through the narrow, dirty, and crowded streets; and while one of his attendants carried under his arm the piece of plate, wrapped up in red baize, the other two gave an eye to its safety; for such was then the state of the police of the metropolis, that men were often assaulted in the public street for the sake of revenge or of plunder; and those who apprehended being beset, usually endeavoured, if their estate admitted such expense, to secure themselves by the attendance of armed followers. And this custom, which was at first limited to the nobility and gentry, extended by degrees to those citizens of consideration, who, being understood to travel with a charge, as it was called, might otherwise have been selected as safe subjects of plunder by the street-robber.

It wasn't entirely out of show that the generous citizen was riding and attended in that way, which, as the reader has been informed, stirred a slight annoyance in Dame Christie, which, to give her credit, disappeared in the little reflection we've noted. The kind man, aside from the natural desire to maintain the appearance of a respectable individual, was currently headed to Whitehall to present a valuable piece of craftsmanship to King James, which he thought His Majesty might like to see or even buy. He was mounted on his well-equipped mule so he could navigate the narrow, dirty, and crowded streets more easily; while one of his attendants carried the piece of silver tucked under his arm, wrapped in red cloth, the other two kept a watchful eye on it for safety. The state of the city's police at that time was such that people were often attacked on the streets either for revenge or theft; those who feared being ambushed typically tried, if they could afford it, to protect themselves with armed followers. This practice, initially limited to the nobility and gentry, eventually extended to well-regarded citizens who, understood to be traveling with valuables, could otherwise have been seen as easy targets for robbers.

As Master George Heriot paced forth westward with this gallant attendance, he paused at the shop door of his countryman and friend, the ancient horologer, and having caused Tunstall, who was in attendance, to adjust his watch by the real time, he desired to speak with his master; in consequence of which summons, the old Time-meter came forth from his den, his face like a bronze bust, darkened with dust, and glistening here and there with copper filings, and his senses so bemused in the intensity of calculation, that he gazed on his friend the goldsmith for a minute before he seemed perfectly to comprehend who he was, and heard him express his invitation to David Ramsay, and pretty Mistress Margaret, his daughter, to dine with him next day at noon, to meet with a noble young countrymen, without returning any answer.

As Master George Heriot walked westward with his impressive group, he stopped at the shop door of his fellow countryman and friend, the old clockmaker. After having Tunstall, who was with him, set his watch to the correct time, he asked to speak with his master. As a result, the old clockmaker emerged from his workshop, his face resembling a bronze statue, covered in dust and occasionally shining with copper shavings. He was so lost in thought from his heavy calculations that he stared at his friend the goldsmith for a moment before he seemed to fully recognize him. He heard the invitation for David Ramsay and lovely Mistress Margaret, his daughter, to have lunch with him the next day at noon to meet a noble young countryman, but he didn’t respond.

“I'll make thee speak, with a murrain to thee,” muttered Heriot to himself; and suddenly changing his tone, he said aloud,—“I pray you, neighbour David, when are you and I to have a settlement for the bullion wherewith I supplied you to mount yonder hall-clock at Theobald's, and that other whirligig that you made for the Duke of Buckingham? I have had the Spanish house to satisfy for the ingots, and I must needs put you in mind that you have been eight months behind-hand.”

“I'll make you talk, cursed be it,” muttered Heriot to himself; and suddenly changing his tone, he said aloud, “I ask you, neighbor David, when are you and I going to settle up for the bullion I gave you to put that hall-clock up at Theobald's, and that other gadget you made for the Duke of Buckingham? I've had to pay the Spanish house for the ingots, and I need to remind you that you are eight months overdue.”

There is something so sharp and aigre in the demand of a peremptory dun, that no human tympanum, however inaccessible to other tones, can resist the application. David Ramsay started at once from his reverie, and answered in a pettish tone, “Wow, George, man, what needs aw this din about sax score o' pounds? Aw the world kens I can answer aw claims on me, and you proffered yourself fair time, till his maist gracious Majesty and the noble Duke suld make settled accompts wi' me; and ye may ken, by your ain experience, that I canna gang rowting like an unmannered Highland stot to their doors, as ye come to mine.”

There’s something so sharp and annoying about a forcible demand for payment that no one can ignore it, no matter how resistant they are to other sounds. David Ramsay snapped out of his daydream and replied in an irritated tone, “Wow, George, what’s with all this fuss about six hundred pounds? Everyone knows I can settle all my debts, and you said I would have plenty of time until His Majesty and the noble Duke sorted things out with me; and you know from your own experience that I can’t go stomping around like a rude Highland cow to their doors, like you did to mine.”

Heriot laughed, and replied, “Well, David, I see a demand of money is like a bucket of water about your ears, and makes you a man of the world at once. And now, friend, will you tell me, like a Christian man, if you will dine with me to-morrow at noon, and bring pretty Mistress Margaret, my god-daughter, with you, to meet with our noble young countryman, the Lord of Glenvarloch?”

Heriot laughed and said, “Well, David, I see that asking for money is like water getting poured over your head—it instantly makes you worldly. Now, my friend, will you tell me, like a decent person, if you’d like to have lunch with me tomorrow at noon, and bring lovely Mistress Margaret, my goddaughter, with you to meet our noble young countryman, the Lord of Glenvarloch?”

“The young Lord of Glenvarloch!” said the old mechanist; “wi' aw my heart, and blithe I will be to see him again. We have not met these forty years—he was twa years before me at the humanity classes—he is a sweet youth.”

“The young Lord of Glenvarloch!” said the old mechanist; “with all my heart, I will be so happy to see him again. We haven't met in forty years—he was two years ahead of me in the humanities classes—he's a delightful young man.”

“That was his father—his father—his father!—you old dotard Dot-and-carry-one that you are,” answered the goldsmith. “A sweet youth he would have been by this time, had he lived, worthy nobleman! This is his son, the Lord Nigel.”

“That was his father—his father—his father!—you old fool, Dot-and-carry-one that you are,” replied the goldsmith. “He would have grown into a fine young man by now if he’d lived, a worthy nobleman! This is his son, Lord Nigel.”

“His son!” said Ramsay; “maybe he will want something of a chronometer, or watch—few gallants care to be without them now-a-days.”

“His son!” said Ramsay; “maybe he’ll want some kind of chronometer or watch—few guys want to be without them these days.”

“He may buy half your stock-in-trade, if ever he comes to his own, for what I know,” said his friend; “but, David, remember your bond, and use me not as you did when my housewife had the sheep's-head and the cock-a-leeky boiling for you as late as two of the clock afternoon.”

“He might buy half your inventory if he ever gets his act together, for all I know,” said his friend; “but, David, remember your promise, and don't treat me the way you did when my wife had the sheep's-head and the cock-a-leeky cooking for you as late as two in the afternoon.”

“She had the more credit by her cookery,” answered David, now fully awake; “a sheep's-head over-boiled, were poison, according to our saying.”

“She got more respect for her cooking,” replied David, now fully awake; “if a sheep's head is overcooked, it's considered poison, as we say.”

“Well,” answered Master George, “but as there will be no sheep's-head to-morrow, it may chance you to spoil a dinner which a proverb cannot mend. It may be you may forgather with your friend, Sir Mungo Malagrowther, for I purpose to ask his worship; so, be sure and bide tryste, Davie.”

“Well,” replied Master George, “since there won’t be any sheep's head tomorrow, you might end up ruining a dinner that a saying can’t fix. You might run into your friend, Sir Mungo Malagrowther, because I plan to invite him; so make sure you stay put, Davie.”

“That will I—I will be true as a chronometer,” said Ramsay.

“That I will—I will be as reliable as a clock,” said Ramsay.

“I will not trust you, though,” replied Heriot.—“Hear you, Jenkin boy, tell Scots Janet to tell pretty Mistress Margaret, my god-child, she must put her father in remembrance to put on his best doublet to-morrow, and to bring him to Lombard Street at noon. Tell her they are to meet a brave young Scots lord.”

“I won’t trust you, though,” replied Heriot. “Listen, Jenkin boy, tell Scots Janet to let pretty Mistress Margaret, my goddaughter, know that she needs to remind her father to wear his best doublet tomorrow and to bring him to Lombard Street at noon. Tell her they’re going to meet a dashing young Scots lord.”

Jenkin coughed that sort of dry short cough uttered by those who are either charged with errands which they do not like, or hear opinions to which they must not enter a dissent.

Jenkin cleared his throat with that dry, quick cough people make when they have tasks they dislike or when they're hearing opinions they aren't allowed to disagree with.

“Umph!” repeated Master George—who, as we have already noticed, was something of a martinet in domestic discipline—“what does umph mean? Will you do mine errand or not, sirrah?”

“Umph!” repeated Master George—who, as we’ve already noted, was a bit of a stickler for rules at home—“what does umph mean? Will you run my errand or not, sir?”

“Sure, Master George Heriot,” said the apprentice, touching his cap, “I only meant, that Mistress Margaret was not likely to forget such an invitation.”

“Sure thing, Master George Heriot,” said the apprentice, tipping his cap, “I just meant that Mistress Margaret probably wouldn’t forget such an invitation.”

“Why, no,” said Master George; “she is a dutiful girl to her god-father, though I sometimes call her a jill-flirt.—And, hark ye, Jenkin, you and your comrade had best come with your clubs, to see your master and her safely home; but first shut shop, and loose the bull-dog, and let the porter stay in the fore-shop till your return. I will send two of my knaves with you; for I hear these wild youngsters of the Temple are broken out worse and lighter than ever.”

“Of course not,” said Master George. “She’s a respectful girl to her godfather, even though I sometimes call her a flirt. And listen, Jenkin, you and your buddy should come with your clubs to make sure you get your master and her home safely; but first, close up the shop, set the bulldog free, and let the porter stay at the front until you get back. I’ll send two of my guys with you; I’ve heard those wild kids from the Temple are causing more trouble than ever.”

“We can keep their steel in order with good handbats,” said Jenkin; “and never trouble your servants for the matter.”

“We can manage their steel with good handbats,” said Jenkin; “and never bother your servants about it.”

“Or, if need be,” said Tunstall, “we have swords as well as the Templars.”

“Or, if necessary,” Tunstall said, “we have swords just like the Templars do.”

“Fie upon it—fie upon it, young man,” said the citizen;—“An apprentice with a sword!—Marry, heaven forefend! I would as soon see him in a hat and feather.”

“Shame on it—shame on it, young man,” said the citizen;—“An apprentice with a sword!—Good heavens, I hope not! I would just as soon see him in a hat and feather.”

“Well, sir,” said Jenkin—“we will find arms fitting to our station, and will defend our master and his daughter, if we should tear up the very stones of the pavement.”

“Well, sir,” said Jenkin, “we'll find weapons that suit our position and will protect our master and his daughter, even if we have to rip up the very stones of the pavement.”

“There spoke a London 'prentice bold,” said the citizen; “and, for your comfort, my lads, you shall crush a cup of wine to the health of the Fathers of the City. I have my eye on both of you—you are thriving lads, each in his own way.—God be wi' you, Davie. Forget not to-morrow at noon.” And, so saying, he again turned his mule's head westward, and crossed Temple Bar, at that slow and decent amble, which at once became his rank and civic importance, and put his pedestrian followers to no inconvenience to keep up with him.

“There spoke a bold London apprentice,” said the citizen; “and, for your enjoyment, my friends, you shall raise a glass of wine to the health of the Fathers of the City. I’m keeping an eye on both of you—you’re both doing well, each in your own way. God be with you, Davie. Don't forget tomorrow at noon.” And with that, he turned his mule's head westward again and crossed Temple Bar at that slow and dignified pace, which suited his status and civic importance, making it easy for his walking companions to keep up with him.

At the Temple gate he again paused, dismounted, and sought his way into one of the small booths occupied by scriveners in the neighbourhood. A young man, with lank smooth hair combed straight to his ears, and then cropped short, rose, with a cringing reverence, pulled off a slouched hat, which he would upon no signal replace on his head, and answered with much demonstration of reverence, to the goldsmith's question of, “How goes business, Andrew?”—“Aw the better for your worship's kind countenance and maintenance.”

At the Temple gate, he paused again, got off his horse, and made his way into one of the small booths where local scribes worked. A young man with thin, smooth hair slicked straight to his ears and then cut short stood up with an eager reverence, took off a slouched hat that he would not put back on, and answered with a lot of respect to the goldsmith's question, “How's business, Andrew?”—“Much better thanks to your kind presence and support.”

“Get a large sheet of paper, man, and make a new pen, with a sharp neb, and fine hair-stroke. Do not slit the quill up too high, it's a wastrife course in your trade, Andrew—they that do not mind corn-pickles, never come to forpits. I have known a learned man write a thousand pages with one quill.” [Footnote: A biblical commentary by Gill, which (if the author's memory serves him) occupies between five and six hundred printed quarto pages, and must therefore have filled more pages of manuscript than the number mentioned in the text, has this quatrain at the end of the volume—

“Grab a big sheet of paper, man, and make a new pen with a sharp tip and a fine fine line. Don’t cut the quill too high; it’s a wasteful move in your trade, Andrew—those who ignore the small details never get to the finish line. I’ve seen a smart guy write a thousand pages with just one quill.” [Footnote: A biblical commentary by Gill, which (if the author's memory serves him right) is about five to six hundred printed quarto pages, must have filled more pages of manuscript than the number mentioned in the text, includes this quatrain at the end of the volume—

    “With one good pen I wrote this book,
       Made of a grey goose quill;
     A pen it was when it I took,
       And a pen I leave it still.”]
 “With one good pen I wrote this book,  
       Made of a grey goose quill;  
     It was a pen when I picked it up,  
       And it’s still a pen as I put it down.”  

“Ah! sir,” said the lad, who listened to the goldsmith, though instructing him in his own trade, with an air of veneration and acquiescence, “how sune ony puir creature like mysell may rise in the world, wi' the instruction of such a man as your worship!”

“Ah! sir,” said the boy, who listened to the goldsmith, even while being taught in his own trade, with a look of respect and agreement, “how can a poor creature like me ever rise in the world, with the guidance of such a man as you!”

“My instructions are few, Andrew, soon told, and not hard to practise. Be honest—be industrious—be frugal—and you will soon win wealth and worship.—Here, copy me this Supplication in your best and most formal hand. I will wait by you till it is done.”

“My instructions are simple, Andrew, and not difficult to follow. Be honest—be hardworking—be thrifty—and you will quickly gain wealth and respect. Now, write this Supplication in your best and most formal handwriting. I’ll wait for you until it’s finished.”

The youth lifted not his eye from the paper, and laid not the pen from his hand, until the task was finished to his employer's satisfaction. The citizen then gave the young scrivener an angel; and bidding him, on his life, be secret in all business intrusted to him, again mounted his mule, and rode on westward along the Strand.

The young man kept his eyes on the paper and didn't put down the pen until he finished the work to his employer's satisfaction. The citizen then handed the young writer an angel and told him, on his life, to keep everything he was entrusted with a secret, before getting back on his mule and riding west along the Strand.

It may be worth while to remind our readers, that the Temple Bar which Heriot passed, was not the arched screen, or gateway, of the present day; but an open railing, or palisade, which, at night, and in times of alarm, was closed with a barricade of posts and chains. The Strand also, along which he rode, was not, as now, a continued street, although it was beginning already to assume that character. It still might be considered as an open road, along the south side of which stood various houses and hotels belonging to the nobility, having gardens behind them down to the water-side, with stairs to the river, for the convenience of taking boat; which mansions have bequeathed the names of their lordly owners to many of the streets leading from the Strand to the Thames. The north side of the Strand was also a long line of houses, behind which, as in Saint Martin's Lane, and other points, buildings, were rapidly arising; but Covent Garden was still a garden, in the literal sense of the word, or at least but beginning to be studded with irregular buildings. All that was passing around, however, marked the rapid increase of a capital which had long enjoyed peace, wealth, and a regular government. Houses were rising in every direction; and the shrewd eye of our citizen already saw the period not distant, which should convert the nearly open highway on which he travelled, into a connected and regular street, uniting the Court and the town with the city of London.

It might be helpful to remind our readers that the Temple Bar that Heriot passed was not the arched screen or gateway we see today; it was an open railing or fence that could be closed at night and in times of trouble with a barricade of posts and chains. The Strand, where he rode, wasn’t a continuous street as it is now, though it was starting to take on that appearance. It could still be seen as an open road, lined on the south side with various houses and hotels owned by the nobility, each having gardens that stretched down to the waterfront, complete with stairs leading to the river for easy boat access. These grand mansions gave their owners' names to many of the streets that ran from the Strand to the Thames. The north side of the Strand was also a long row of houses, with new buildings quickly going up behind them, as seen in Saint Martin's Lane and other areas. However, Covent Garden was still a garden in the true sense of the word, or at least just beginning to be dotted with irregular buildings. Everything happening around signified the swift growth of a city that had enjoyed peace, wealth, and a structured government for a long time. Buildings were going up in every direction, and the sharp eye of our citizen could already foresee the time not too far off when the nearly open road he was traveling would become a connected and organized street, linking the Court and the town with the city of London.

He next passed Charing Cross, which was no longer the pleasant solitary village at which the judges were wont to breakfast on their way to Westminster Hall, but began to resemble the artery through which, to use Johnson's expression “pours the full tide of London population.” The buildings were rapidly increasing, yet certainly gave not even a faint idea of its present appearance.

He then went past Charing Cross, which was no longer the charming little village where judges used to have breakfast on their way to Westminster Hall, but was starting to look like the main road through which, to use Johnson's words, “pours the full tide of London population.” The buildings were quickly going up, but still didn’t give even a hint of how it looks today.

At last Whitehall received our traveller, who passed under one of the beautiful gates designed by Holbein, and composed of tesselated brick-work, being the same to which Moniplies had profanely likened the West-Port of Edinburgh, and entered the ample precincts of the palace of Whitehall, now full of all the confusion attending improvement. It was just at the time when James,—little suspecting that he was employed in constructing a palace, from the window of which his only son was to pass in order that he might die upon a scaffold before it,—was busied in removing the ancient and ruinous buildings of De Burgh, Henry VIII., and Queen Elizabeth, to make way for the superb architecture on which Inigo Jones exerted all his genius. The king, ignorant of futurity, was now engaged in pressing on his work; and, for that purpose, still maintained his royal apartments at Whitehall, amidst the rubbish of old buildings, and the various confusion attending the erection of the new pile, which formed at present a labyrinth not easily traversed.

At last, Whitehall welcomed our traveler, who passed through one of the beautiful gates designed by Holbein, made of patterned brickwork. This was the same gate that Moniplies had disrespectfully compared to the West-Port of Edinburgh. He entered the expansive grounds of the palace of Whitehall, now filled with all the chaos that comes with improvement. It was just at the time when James—unaware that he was building a palace from which his only son would eventually leave to die on a scaffold—was busy tearing down the ancient, crumbling buildings of De Burgh, Henry VIII, and Queen Elizabeth to make way for the magnificent architecture that Inigo Jones was pouring all his creativity into. The king, oblivious to the future, was actively pushing his work forward and, for that reason, continued to keep his royal apartments at Whitehall amid the debris of old structures and the various messiness associated with the construction of the new building, which was currently a maze that wasn't easy to navigate.

The goldsmith to the Royal Household, and who, if fame spoke true, oftentimes acted as their banker,—for these professions were not as yet separated from each other,—was a person of too much importance to receive the slightest interruption from sentinel or porter; and, leaving his mule and two of his followers in the outer-court, he gently knocked at a postern-gate of the building, and was presently admitted, while the most trusty of his attendants followed him closely, with the piece of plate under his arm. This man also he left behind him in an ante-room,—where three or four pages in the royal livery, but untrussed, unbuttoned, and dressed more carelessly than the place, and nearness to a king's person, seemed to admit, were playing at dice and draughts, or stretched upon benches, and slumbering with half-shut eyes. A corresponding gallery, which opened from the ante-room, was occupied by two gentlemen-ushers of the chamber, who gave each a smile of recognition as the wealthy goldsmith entered.

The goldsmith to the Royal Household, who, if the rumors were true, often acted as their banker—since those roles weren’t yet separate—was someone too important to be interrupted by a guard or doorkeeper. He left his mule and two of his attendants in the outer courtyard, then gently tapped on a side gate of the building and was quickly let in, while his most trusted assistant followed closely behind, carrying a piece of silverware under his arm. He left this man in an ante-room, where three or four pages in royal livery, but with their outfits unfastened and carelessly dressed for someone so close to a king, were either playing dice and checkers or lounging on benches with half-closed eyes. A matching gallery connected to the ante-room, occupied by two gentlemen ushers of the chamber, who both smiled in recognition as the wealthy goldsmith entered.

No word was spoken on either side; but one of the ushers looked first to Heriot, and then to a little door half-covered by the tapestry, which seemed to say, as plain as a look could, “Lies your business that way?” The citizen nodded; and the court-attendant, moving on tiptoe, and with as much caution as if the floor had been paved with eggs, advanced to the door, opened it gently, and spoke a few words in a low tone. The broad Scottish accent of King James was heard in reply,—“Admit him instanter, Maxwell. Have you hairboured sae lang at the Court, and not learned, that gold and silver are ever welcome?”

No one said anything; but one of the ushers first glanced at Heriot and then at a small door partly hidden by the tapestry, which seemed to clearly ask, “Is your business that way?” The citizen nodded, and the court attendant, walking on tiptoes and with as much care as if the floor were covered in eggs, approached the door, opened it gently, and spoke a few words quietly. The thick Scottish accent of King James replied, “Let him in right away, Maxwell. Have you been at the Court so long and not learned that gold and silver are always welcome?”

The usher signed to Heriot to advance, and the honest citizen was presently introduced into the cabinet of the Sovereign.

The usher signaled for Heriot to come forward, and the honest citizen was soon introduced to the Sovereign's cabinet.

The scene of confusion amid which he found the king seated, was no bad picture of the state and quality of James's own mind. There was much that was rich and costly in cabinet pictures and valuable ornaments; but they were arranged in a slovenly manner, covered with dust, and lost half their value, or at least their effect, from the manner in which they were presented to the eye. The table was loaded with huge folios, amongst which lay light books of jest and ribaldry; and, amongst notes of unmercifully long orations, and essays on king-craft, were mingled miserable roundels and ballads by the Royal 'Prentice, as he styled himself, in the art of poetry, and schemes for the general pacification of Europe, with a list of the names of the king's hounds, and remedies against canine madness.

The chaotic scene where he found the king sitting was a pretty good reflection of James's own confused state of mind. There were plenty of rich and valuable cabinet pictures and ornaments, but they were displayed carelessly, covered in dust, and lost much of their value—or at least their impact—because of how they were presented. The table was cluttered with large folios alongside light reading like jokes and crude stories; mixed in with long, tedious speeches and essays on ruling were pitiful rhymes and ballads from the Royal 'Prentice, as he called himself, in the craft of poetry, plans for peace in Europe, a list of the king's hunting dogs, and remedies for rabies in dogs.

The king's dress was of green velvet, quilted so full as to be dagger-proof—which gave him the appearance of clumsy and ungainly protuberance; while its being buttoned awry, communicated to his figure an air of distortion. Over his green doublet he wore a sad-coloured nightgown, out of the pocket of which peeped his hunting-horn. His high-crowned grey hat lay on the floor, covered with dust, but encircled by a carcanet of large balas rubies; and he wore a blue velvet nightcap, in the front of which was placed the plume of a heron, which had been struck down by a favourite hawk in some critical moment of the flight, in remembrance of which the king wore this highly honoured feather.

The king's outfit was made of green velvet, so heavily padded that it was dagger-proof—which made him look awkward and clumsy; additionally, the way it was buttoned unevenly gave him a distorted appearance. Over his green tunic, he wore a muted-colored nightgown, from the pocket of which his hunting horn peeked out. His high-crowned grey hat lay dusty on the floor, adorned with a necklace of large balas rubies; and he sported a blue velvet nightcap, featuring a plume from a heron that had been taken down by a favorite hawk at a critical moment during the hunt, which was why the king wore this cherished feather.

But such inconsistencies in dress and appointments were mere outward types of those which existed in the royal character, rendering it a subject of doubt amongst his contemporaries, and bequeathing it as a problem to future historians. He was deeply learned, without possessing useful knowledge; sagacious in many individual cases, without having real wisdom; fond of his power, and desirous to maintain and augment it, yet willing to resign the direction of that, and of himself, to the most unworthy favourites; a big and bold asserter of his rights in words, yet one who tamely saw them trampled on in deeds; a lover of negotiations, in which he was always outwitted; and one who feared war, where conquest might have been easy. He was fond of his dignity, while he was perpetually degrading it by undue familiarity; capable of much public labour, yet often neglecting it for the meanest amusement; a wit, though a pedant; and a scholar, though fond of the conversation of the ignorant and uneducated. Even his timidity of temper was not uniform; and there were moments of his life, and those critical, in which he showed the spirit of his ancestors. He was laborious in trifles, and a trifler where serious labour was required; devout in his sentiments, and yet too often profane in his language; just and beneficent by nature, he yet gave way to the iniquities and oppression of others. He was penurious respecting money which he had to give from his own hand, yet inconsiderately and unboundedly profuse of that which he did not see. In a word, those good qualities which displayed themselves in particular cases and occasions, were not of a nature sufficiently firm and comprehensive to regulate his general conduct; and, showing themselves as they occasionally did, only entitled James to the character bestowed on him by Sully—that he was the wisest fool in Christendom.

But the inconsistencies in his clothing and appearances were just outward signs of the contradictions in his royal character, causing doubt among his contemporaries and leaving future historians with a puzzle. He was well-educated but lacked practical knowledge; insightful in certain situations but didn’t have true wisdom; he loved his power and wanted to keep and expand it, yet was willing to let the most unworthy favorites lead him; he strongly claimed his rights verbally, yet passively allowed them to be violated in reality; he enjoyed negotiations, where he was always outsmarted; and he feared war, even when victory could have been easy. He valued his dignity, even as he frequently undermined it with inappropriate familiarity; he was capable of significant public work but often neglected it for trivial entertainment; he had quick wit, even though he could be a pedant; and he was a scholar, despite enjoying the company of the uneducated. His timidity wasn’t consistent either; there were critical moments in his life when he showed the spirit of his ancestors. He was meticulous about minor details but a slacker when serious work was needed; devout in belief but often profane in speech; just and generous by nature, yet succumbed to the injustices and oppression of others. He was stingy with his own money but recklessly generous with what he didn’t have to part with. In summary, the good qualities that occasionally emerged in specific situations weren’t strong or consistent enough to guide his overall behavior; these traits, when they appeared, only earned James the title given to him by Sully—that he was the wisest fool in Christendom.

That the fortunes of this monarch might be as little of apiece as his character, he, certainly the least able of the Stewarts, succeeded peaceably to that kingdom, against the power of which his predecessors had, with so much difficulty, defended his native throne; and, lastly, although his reign appeared calculated to ensure to Great Britain that lasting tranquillity and internal peace which so much suited the king's disposition, yet, during that very reign, were sown those seeds of dissension, which, like the teeth of the fabulous dragon, had their harvest in a bloody and universal civil war.

That this king's fortunes were as lacking as his character, he, definitely the least capable of the Stewarts, took the throne peacefully despite the power his predecessors had struggled so hard to defend against for his home kingdom; and finally, although his reign seemed meant to provide Great Britain with the lasting peace and stability that matched the king's nature, during that very reign, the seeds of conflict were sown, which, like the teeth of the mythical dragon, led to a bloody and widespread civil war.

Such was the monarch, who, saluting Heriot by the name of Jingling Geordie, (for it was his well-known custom to give nicknames to all those with whom he was on terms of familiarity,) inquired what new clatter-traps he had brought with him, to cheat his lawful and native Prince out of his siller.

Such was the king, who greeted Heriot with the nickname Jingling Geordie (since it was his usual habit to give nicknames to everyone he was familiar with), and asked what new contraptions he had brought along to swindle his rightful and native prince out of his money.

“God forbid, my liege,” said the citizen, “that I should have any such disloyal purpose. I did but bring a piece of plate to show to your most gracious Majesty, which, both for the subject and for the workmanship, I were loath to put into the hands of any subject until I knew your Majesty's pleasure anent it.”

“God forbid, my lord,” said the citizen, “that I should have any disloyal intentions. I only brought a piece of silver to show to your most gracious Majesty, which, because of its design and craftsmanship, I was hesitant to put into the hands of anyone else until I knew your Majesty's thoughts on it.”

“Body o' me, man, let's see it, Heriot; though, by my saul, Steenie's service o' plate was sae dear a bargain, I had 'maist pawned my word as a Royal King, to keep my ain gold and silver in future, and let you, Geordie, keep yours.”

“Come on, man, let’s see it, Heriot; although, honestly, Steenie’s silverware was such an expensive deal, I almost promised like a Royal King, to keep my own gold and silver from now on, and let you, Geordie, keep yours.”

“Respecting the Duke of Buckingham's plate,” said the goldsmith, “your Majesty was pleased to direct that no expense should be spared, and—”

“Considering the Duke of Buckingham's plate,” said the goldsmith, “your Majesty decided that no expense should be spared, and—”

“What signifies what I desired, man? when a wise man is with fules and bairns, he maun e'en play at the chucks. But you should have had mair sense and consideration than to gie Babie Charles and Steenie their ain gate; they wad hae floored the very rooms wi' silver, and I wonder they didna.”

“What does it matter what I wanted, man? When a wise person is with fools and children, they just have to play along. But you should have been smarter and more considerate than to let Babie Charles and Steenie do as they pleased; they would have filled the rooms with silver, and I’m surprised they didn’t.”

George Heriot bowed, and said no more. He knew his master too well to vindicate himself otherwise than by a distant allusion to his order; and James, with whom economy was only a transient and momentary twinge of conscience, became immediately afterwards desirous to see the piece of plate which the goldsmith proposed to exhibit, and dispatched Maxwell to bring it to his presence. In the meantime he demanded of the citizen whence he had procured it.

George Heriot bowed and didn't say anything more. He understood his master too well to defend himself in any way other than a subtle reference to his order; and James, for whom being frugal was just a fleeting pang of guilt, soon became eager to see the piece of silver that the goldsmith intended to show, and sent Maxwell to bring it to him. In the meantime, he asked the citizen where he had gotten it.

“From Italy, may it please your Majesty,” replied Heriot.

“From Italy, if it pleases you, Your Majesty,” replied Heriot.

“It has naething in it tending to papistrie?” said the king, looking graver than his wont.

“It has nothing in it that leans towards papistry?” said the king, looking more serious than usual.

“Surely not, please your Majesty,” said Heriot; “I were not wise to bring any thing to your presence that had the mark of the beast.”

“Certainly not, your Majesty,” said Heriot; “it would be foolish of me to bring anything before you that bore the mark of the beast.”

“You would be the mair beast yourself to do so,” said the king; “it is weel kend that I wrestled wi' Dagon in my youth, and smote him on the groundsill of his own temple; a gude evidence that I should be in time called, however unworthy, the Defender of the Faith.—But here comes Maxwell, bending under his burden, like the Golden Ass of Apuleius.”

“You'd be a bigger fool to do that,” the king said. “It's well known that I wrestled with Dagon when I was younger and struck him down on the very floor of his own temple; a good sign that I should eventually be called, however unworthy, the Defender of the Faith.—But here comes Maxwell, struggling under his load, like the Golden Ass from Apuleius.”

Heriot hastened to relieve the usher, and to place the embossed salver, for such it was, and of extraordinary dimensions, in a light favourable for his Majesty's viewing the sculpture.

Heriot quickly went to help the usher and positioned the embossed tray—since that's what it was, and it was quite large—in a way that would highlight the sculpture for the King to see.

“Saul of my body, man,” said the king, “it is a curious piece, and, as I think, fit for a king's chalmer; and the subject, as you say, Master George, vera adequate and beseeming—being, as I see, the judgment of Solomon—a prince in whose paths it weel becomes a' leeving monarchs to walk with emulation.”

“Saul of my body, man,” said the king, “it’s a fascinating piece, and I believe it’s suitable for a king’s chamber; and the subject, as you mentioned, Master George, is very appropriate and fitting—being, as I see it, the judgment of Solomon—a prince in whose footsteps all living monarchs should aspire to follow.”

“But whose footsteps,” said Maxwell, “only one of them—if a subject may say so much—hath ever overtaken.”

“But whose footsteps,” said Maxwell, “only one of them—if I may say so—has ever caught up.”

“Haud your tongue for a fause fleeching loon!” said the king, but with a smile on his face that showed the flattery had done its part. “Look at the bonny piece of workmanship, and haud your clavering tongue.—And whase handiwork may it be, Geordie?”

“Shut your mouth, you deceitful flatterer!” said the king, but with a smile on his face that showed the compliments had worked. “Look at this beautiful piece of craftsmanship, and keep your mouth shut.—And whose handiwork is this, Geordie?”

“It was wrought, sir,” replied the goldsmith, “by the famous Florentine, Benvenuto Cellini, and designed for Francis the First of France; but I hope it will find a fitter master.”

“It was made, sir,” replied the goldsmith, “by the famous Florentine, Benvenuto Cellini, and designed for Francis the First of France; but I hope it will find a more suitable owner.”

“Francis of France!” said the king; “send Solomon, King of the Jews, to Francis of France!—Body of me, man, it would have kythed Cellini mad, had he never done ony thing else out of the gate. Francis!—why, he was a fighting fule, man,—a mere fighting fule,—got himsell ta'en at Pavia, like our ain David at Durham lang syne;—if they could hae sent him Solomon's wit, and love of peace, and godliness, they wad hae dune him a better turn. But Solomon should sit in other gate company than Francis of France.”

“Francis of France!” said the king; “send Solomon, King of the Jews, to Francis of France!—Honestly, man, it would have driven Cellini crazy if he had never done anything else outside the gate. Francis!—he was a real fighter, man,—just a pure fighter,—got himself captured at Pavia, like our own David at Durham long ago;—if they could have given him Solomon's wisdom, love of peace, and righteousness, they would have done him a better favor. But Solomon should associate with better company than Francis of France.”

“I trust that such will be his good fortune,” said Heriot.

"I believe that will be his good luck," said Heriot.

“It is a curious and very artificial sculpture,” said the king, in continuation; “but yet, methinks, the carnifex, or executioner there, is brandishing his gully ower near the king's face, seeing he is within reach of his weapon. I think less wisdom than Solomon's wad have taught him that there was danger in edge-tools, and that he wad have bidden the smaik either sheath his shabble, or stand farther back.”

“It’s an interesting and quite artificial sculpture,” said the king, continuing; “but I think the executioner there is waving his knife too close to the king’s face, since he’s within reach of his weapon. I believe even less wisdom than Solomon’s would teach him that there’s danger in sharp tools, and that he should have told the guy to either put away his knife or stand back further.”

George Heriot endeavoured to alleviate this objection, by assuring the king that the vicinity betwixt Solomon and the executioner was nearer in appearance than in reality, and that the perspective should be allowed for.

George Heriot tried to address this concern by assuring the king that the distance between Solomon and the executioner seemed closer than it actually was, and that perspective should be taken into account.

“Gang to the deil wi' your prospective, man,” said the king; “there canna be a waur prospective for a lawful king, wha wishes to reign in luve, and die in peace and honour, than to have naked swords flashing in his een. I am accounted as brave as maist folks; and yet I profess to ye I could never look on a bare blade without blinking and winking. But a'thegither it is a brave piece;—and what is the price of it, man?”

“Go to hell with your perspective, man,” said the king; “there can’t be a worse outlook for a legitimate king who wants to rule in love and die in peace and honor than to have naked swords flashing in his eyes. I’m considered as brave as most people; and yet I’ll tell you, I could never look at a bare blade without blinking and winking. But altogether, it is a fine piece;—and what’s the price of it, man?”

The goldsmith replied by observing, that it was not his own property, but that of a distressed countryman.

The goldsmith responded by noting that it wasn't his property, but belonged to a troubled farmer.

“Whilk you mean to mak your excuse for asking the double of its worth, I warrant?” answered the king. “I ken the tricks of you burrows-town merchants, man.”

“Is that your excuse for asking twice its value?” replied the king. “I know the tricks of you city merchants, man.”

“I have no hopes of baffling your Majesty's sagacity,” said Heriot; “the piece is really what I say, and the price a hundred and fifty pounds sterling, if it pleases your Majesty to make present payment.”

“I don't expect to confuse your Majesty's insight,” said Heriot; “the item is exactly as I said, and the price is one hundred and fifty pounds sterling, if it suits your Majesty to pay right away.”

“A hundred and fifty punds, man! and as mony witches and warlocks to raise them!” said the irritated Monarch. “My saul, Jingling Geordie, ye are minded that your purse shall jingle to a bonny tune!—How am I to tell you down a hundred and fifty punds for what will not weigh as many merks? and ye ken that my very household servitors, and the officers of my mouth, are sax months in arrear!”

“A hundred and fifty pounds, man! And just as many witches and warlocks to raise them!” said the irritated Monarch. “My soul, Jingling Geordie, you want your purse to jingle to a lovely tune! How am I supposed to hand over a hundred and fifty pounds for something that won't weigh as much as a few marks? And you know that my household servants and the officers serving me are six months behind on their pay!”

The goldsmith stood his ground against all this objurgation, being what he was well accustomed to, and only answered, that, if his Majesty liked the piece, and desired to possess it, the price could be easily settled. It was true that the party required the money, but he, George Heriot, would advance it on his Majesty's account, if such were his pleasure, and wait his royal conveniency for payment, for that and other matters; the money, meanwhile, lying at the ordinary usage.

The goldsmith stood firm against all the criticism, as he was used to it, and simply replied that if His Majesty liked the piece and wanted to own it, they could easily agree on a price. It was true that the party needed the money, but he, George Heriot, would lend it on the King's behalf if that was what he wanted, and would wait for royal approval for payment for that and other matters, with the money meanwhile being used as usual.

“By my honour,” said James, “and that is speaking like an honest and reasonable tradesman. We maun get another subsidy frae the Commons, and that will make ae compting of it. Awa wi' it, Maxwell—awa wi' it, and let it be set where Steenie and Babie Charles shall see it as they return from Richmond.—And now that we are secret, my good auld friend Geordie, I do truly opine, that speaking of Solomon and ourselves, the haill wisdom in the country left Scotland, when we took our travels to the Southland here.”

“By my honor,” said James, “that sounds like an honest and sensible tradesman. We need to get another subsidy from the Commons, and that will make a difference. Away with it, Maxwell—get rid of it, and let’s place it where Steenie and Babie Charles can see it as they return from Richmond.—And now that we’re alone, my good old friend Geordie, I truly believe that when it comes to Solomon and us, all the wisdom in the country left Scotland when we went on our travels to the South.”

George Heriot was courtier enough to say, that “the wise naturally follow the wisest, as stags follow their leader.”

George Heriot was clever enough to say that "the wise naturally follow the wisest, like stags following their leader."

“Troth, I think there is something in what thou sayest,” said James; “for we ourselves, and those of our Court and household, as thou thyself, for example, are allowed by the English, for as self-opinioned as they are, to pass for reasonable good wits; but the brains of those we have left behind are all astir, and run clean hirdie-girdie, like sae mony warlocks and witches on the Devil's Sabbath e'en.”

“Honestly, I think there’s some truth in what you’re saying,” said James; “because we ourselves, along with those from our Court and household, like you for instance, are permitted by the English, who are as self-opinionated as they come, to be considered reasonably clever; but the minds of those we’ve left behind are all a flurry, completely chaotic, like so many warlocks and witches on the Devil's Sabbath night.”

“I am sorry to hear this, my liege,” said Heriot. “May it please your Grace to say what our countrymen have done to deserve such a character?”

“I’m sorry to hear this, my lord,” said Heriot. “Could you please explain what our fellow countrymen have done to deserve such a reputation?”

“They are become frantic, man—clean brain-crazed,” answered the king. “I cannot keep them out of the Court by all the proclamations that the heralds roar themselves hoarse with. Yesterday, nae farther gane, just as we were mounted, and about to ride forth, in rushed a thorough Edinburgh gutterblood—a ragged rascal, every dud upon whose back was bidding good-day to the other, with a coat and hat that would have served a pease-bogle, and without havings or reverence, thrusts into our hands, like a sturdy beggar, some Supplication about debts owing by our gracious mother, and siclike trash; whereat the horse spangs on end, and, but for our admirable sitting, wherein we have been thought to excel maist sovereign princes, as well as subjects, in Europe, I promise you we would have been laid endlang on the causeway.”

“They’ve gone completely crazy, man—totally out of their minds,” replied the king. “I can’t keep them away from the Court no matter how many proclamations the heralds shout until they’re hoarse. Just yesterday, right before we were about to ride out, in burst this filthy Edinburgh scoundrel—a ragged guy, every piece of clothing on him looking like it was about to fall apart, with a coat and hat that wouldn’t even serve a scarecrow. Without any shame or respect, he shoved a plea into our hands, like a brazen beggar, about debts owed by our gracious mother, along with other nonsense; my horse reared up, and if it weren’t for my incredible balance, which we’ve been told is better than most sovereign princes and subjects in Europe, I assure you we would have ended up sprawled out on the cobblestones.”

“Your Majesty,” said Heriot, “is their common father, and therefore they are the bolder to press into your gracious presence.”

“Your Majesty,” said Heriot, “you are their common father, and that’s why they feel brave enough to approach your gracious presence.”

“I ken I am pater patriae well enough,” said James; “but one would think they had a mind to squeeze my puddings out, that they may divide the inheritance, Ud's death, Geordie, there is not a loon among them can deliver a Supplication, as it suld be done in the face of majesty.”

“I know I’m pater patriae well enough,” said James; “but you’d think they wanted to squeeze my money out so they could split the inheritance. For God’s sake, Geordie, not one of them can deliver a petition the way it should be done in front of royalty.”

“I would I knew the most fitting and beseeming mode to do so,” said Heriot, “were it but to instruct our poor countrymen in better fashions.”

“I wish I knew the best and most suitable way to do that,” said Heriot, “if only to teach our struggling countrymen better ways.”

“By my halidome,” said the king, “ye are a ceevileezed fellow, Geordie, and I carena if I fling awa as much time as may teach ye. And, first, see you, sir—ye shall approach the presence of majesty thus,—shadowing your eyes with your hand, to testify that you are in the presence of the Vice-gerent of Heaven.—Vera weel, George, that is done in a comely manner.—Then, sir, ye sail kneel, and make as if ye would kiss the hem of our garment, the latch of our shoe, or such like.—Very weel enacted—whilk we, as being willing to be debonair and pleasing towards our lieges, prevent thus,—and motion to you to rise;—whilk, having a boon to ask, as yet you obey not, but, gliding your hand into your pouch, bring forth your Supplication, and place it reverentially in our open palm.” The goldsmith, who had complied with great accuracy with all the prescribed points of the ceremonial, here completed it, to James's no small astonishment, by placing in his hand the petition of the Lord of Glenvarloch. “What means this, ye fause loon?” said he, reddening and sputtering; “hae I been teaching you the manual exercise, that ye suld present your piece at our ain royal body?—Now, by this light, I had as lief that ye had bended a real pistolet against me, and yet this hae ye done in my very cabinet, where nought suld enter but at my ain pleasure.”

“By my word,” said the king, “you are quite the civilized fellow, Geordie, and I don’t mind spending as much time as it takes to teach you. First, listen carefully—when you approach the presence of majesty, you should shield your eyes with your hand to show that you are in front of the Vice-regent of Heaven. —Very good, George, that’s done nicely. —Then, you kneel and pretend to kiss the hem of our garment, the latch of our shoe, or something similar. —Well done—now, being eager to be gracious and pleasing to our subjects, I’ll gesture for you to rise;—but when you have a request to make, you don’t obey, instead sliding your hand into your pouch to pull out your petition and placing it respectfully in my open palm.” The goldsmith, who had followed all the required steps of the ceremony with great care, finished it by putting Lord Glenvarloch’s petition in the king’s hand, much to James’s surprise. “What’s this, you deceitful rascal?” he said, blushing and stammering; “Have I been teaching you the proper way to present yourself just so you could bring your request to our royal body?—Now, by this light, I would have preferred if you had aimed a real pistol at me, and you’ve done this in my very chamber, where nothing should enter without my permission.”

“I trust your Majesty,” said Heriot, as he continued to kneel, “will forgive my exercising the lesson you condescended to give me in the behalf of a friend?”

“I trust your Majesty,” said Heriot, still kneeling, “will forgive me for using the lesson you kindly gave me on behalf of a friend?”

“Of a friend!” said the king; “so much the waur—so much the waur, I tell you. If it had been something to do yoursell good there would have been some sense in it, and some chance that you wad not have come back on me in a hurry; but a man may have a hundred friends, and petitions for every ane of them, ilk ane after other.”

“Of a friend!” said the king; “that makes it even worse—so much worse, I tell you. If it had been something good for yourself, there would have been some sense in it, and maybe you wouldn’t have rushed back to me so quickly; but a man can have a hundred friends, and petitions for each one of them, one after another.”

“Your Majesty, I trust,” said Heriot, “will judge me by former experience, and will not suspect me of such presumption.”

“Your Majesty, I hope,” said Heriot, “you will judge me by my past actions and will not think of me as so arrogant.”

“I kenna,” said the placable monarch; “the world goes daft, I think—sed semel insanivimus omnes—thou art my old and faithful servant, that is the truth; and, were't any thing for thy own behoof, man, thou shouldst not ask twice. But, troth, Steenie loves me so dearly, that he cares not that any one should ask favours of me but himself.—Maxwell,” (for the usher had re-entered after having carried off the plate,) “get into the ante-chamber wi' your lang lugs.—In conscience, Geordie, I think as that thou hast been mine ain auld fiduciary, and wert my goldsmith when I might say with the Ethnic poet—Non mea renidet in domo lacunar—for, faith, they had pillaged my mither's auld house sae, that beechen bickers, and treen trenchers, and latten platters, were whiles the best at our board, and glad we were of something to put on them, without quarrelling with the metal of the dishes. D'ye mind, for thou wert in maist of our complots, how we were fain to send sax of the Blue-banders to harry the Lady of Loganhouse's dowcot and poultry-yard, and what an awfu' plaint the poor dame made against Jock of Milch, and the thieves of Annandale, wha were as sackless of the deed as I am of the sin of murder?”

“I don’t know,” said the easygoing king. “The world seems crazy, I think—sed semel insanivimus omnes—you are my old and loyal servant, that's the truth; if it were for your own benefit, man, you wouldn’t have to ask me twice. But honestly, Steenie loves me so much that he doesn’t want anyone else asking favors from me but himself. —Maxwell,” (for the usher had come back after taking away the dishes), “get into the anteroom with your long ears. —In truth, Geordie, I think you’ve been my own old trustee, and you were my goldsmith when I could say with the pagan poet—Non mea renidet in domo lacunar—because, honestly, they had robbed my mother’s old house so much that wooden bowls, earthenware plates, and tin platters were sometimes the best on our table, and we were just happy to have something to put on them, without complaining about the metal of the dishes. Do you remember, since you were part of most of our schemes, how we had to send six of the Blue-banders to raid the Lady of Loganhouse’s dovecote and chicken yard, and what a terrible complaint the poor lady made against Jock of Milch, and the thieves from Annandale, who were as innocent of the deed as I am of the sin of murder?”

“It was the better for Jock,” said Heriot; “for, if I remember weel, it saved him from a strapping up at Dumfries, which he had weel deserved for other misdeeds.”

“It was better for Jock,” said Heriot; “because, if I remember correctly, it saved him from getting a beating in Dumfries, which he really deserved for other wrongdoings.”

“Ay, man, mind ye that?” said the king; “but he had other virtues, for he was a tight huntsman, moreover, that Jock of Milch, and could hollow to a hound till all the woods rang again. But he came to an Annandale end at the last, for Lord Torthorwald run his lance out through him.—Cocksnails, man, when I think of those wild passages, in my conscience, I am not sure but we lived merrier in auld Holyrood in those shifting days, than now when we are dwelling at heck and manger. Cantabit vacuus—we had but little to care for.”

“Ay, man, do you remember that?” said the king; “but he had other virtues too, as he was a skilled huntsman, that Jock of Milch, and could call to a hound until all the woods echoed back. But he met his end in Annandale in the end, for Lord Torthorwald ran his lance right through him. —Cocksnails, man, when I think about those wild times, honestly, I’m not sure we didn't have more fun in old Holyrood during those chaotic days than we do now when we’re stuck in this dull place. Cantabit vacuus—we had so little to worry about.”

“And if your Majesty please to remember,” said the goldsmith, “the awful task we had to gather silver-vessail and gold-work enough to make some show before the Spanish Ambassador.”

“And if Your Majesty would be so kind to remember,” said the goldsmith, “the terrible task we had to collect enough silverware and gold pieces to put on a decent display for the Spanish Ambassador.”

“Vera true,” said the king, now in a full tide of gossip, “and I mind not the name of the right leal lord that helped us with every unce he had in his house, that his native Prince might have some credit in the eyes of them that had the Indies at their beck.”

“Very true,” said the king, caught up in the gossip, “and I don’t forget the name of the loyal lord who helped us with everything he had in his home, so that his native Prince could gain some respect in the eyes of those who had the Indies at their command.”

“I think, if your Majesty,” said the citizen, “will cast your eye on the paper in your hand, you will recollect his name.”

“I think, if Your Majesty,” said the citizen, “looks at the paper in your hand, you’ll remember his name.”

“Ay!” said the king, “say ye sae, man?—Lord Glenvarloch, that was his name indeed—Justus et tenax propositi—A just man, but as obstinate as a baited bull. He stood whiles against us, that Lord Randal Olifaunt of Glenvarloch, but he was a loving and a leal subject in the main. But this supplicator maun be his son—Randal has been long gone where king and lord must go, Geordie, as weel as the like of you—and what does his son want with us?”

“Ay!” said the king, “is that what you say, man?—Lord Glenvarloch, that was indeed his name—Justus et tenax propositi—A just man, but as stubborn as a bull in a fight. Sometimes he stood against us, that Lord Randal Olifaunt of Glenvarloch, but overall, he was a loyal and faithful subject. But this person asking must be his son—Randal has long been gone to where kings and lords must go, Geordie, just like you—and what does his son want from us?”

“The settlement,” answered the citizen, “of a large debt due by your Majesty's treasury, for money advanced to your Majesty in great State emergency, about the time of the Raid of Ruthven.”

“The settlement,” replied the citizen, “of a significant debt owed by your Majesty's treasury, for funds provided to your Majesty during a major State emergency, around the time of the Raid of Ruthven.”

“I mind the thing weel,” said King James—“Od's death, man, I was just out of the clutches of the Master of Glamis and his complices, and there was never siller mair welcome to a born prince,—the mair the shame and pity that crowned king should need sic a petty sum. But what need he dun us for it, man, like a baxter at the breaking? We aught him the siller, and will pay him wi' our convenience, or make it otherwise up to him, whilk is enow between prince and subject—We are not in meditatione fugae, man, to be arrested thus peremptorily.”

“I remember the situation well,” said King James—“God's death, man, I was just out of the grasp of the Master of Glamis and his accomplices, and there was never money more welcome to a born prince,—the more the shame and pity that a crowned king should need such a small amount. But why does he treat us like this, man, like a baker at the breaking point? We owe him the money, and we’ll pay him at our convenience, or make it up to him in another way, which is enough between prince and subject—We are not in meditatione fugae, man, to be stopped like this so abruptly.”

“Alas! an it please your Majesty,” said the goldsmith, shaking his head, “it is the poor young nobleman's extreme necessity, and not his will, that makes him importunate; for he must have money, and that briefly, to discharge a debt due to Peregrine Peterson, Conservator of the Privileges at Campvere, or his haill hereditary barony and estate of Glenvarloch will be evicted in virtue of an unredeemed wadset.”

“Unfortunately, if it pleases your Majesty,” said the goldsmith, shaking his head, “it is the poor young nobleman's desperate situation, and not his desire, that makes him pushy; he needs money, and he needs it quickly, to pay off a debt to Peregrine Peterson, Conservator of the Privileges at Campvere, or he will lose his entire hereditary barony and estate of Glenvarloch due to an unpaid loan.”

“How say ye, man—how say ye?” exclaimed the king, impatiently; “the carle of a Conservator, the son of a Low-Dutch skipper, evict the auld estate and lordship of the house of Olifaunt?—God's bread, man, that maun not be—we maun suspend the diligence by writ of favour, or otherwise.”

“How do you say it, man—how do you say it?” the king exclaimed, impatiently; “the servant of a Conservator, the son of a Low-Dutch skipper, evict the old estate and lordship of the house of Olifaunt?—For heaven's sake, man, that cannot happen—we must suspend the proceedings by a writ of favor, or something like that.”

“I doubt that may hardly be,” answered the citizen, “if it please your Majesty; your learned counsel in the law of Scotland advise, that there is no remeid but in paying the money.”

“I doubt that may hardly be,” answered the citizen, “if it pleases your Majesty; your legal advisors in Scotland have said that the only solution is to pay the money.”

“Ud's fish,” said the king, “let him keep haud by the strong hand against the carle, until we can take some order about his affairs.”

“Ud's fish,” said the king, “let him hold on tight against the guy, until we can sort out his situation.”

“Alas!” insisted the goldsmith, “if it like your Majesty, your own pacific government, and your doing of equal justice to all men, has made main force a kittle line to walk by, unless just within the bounds of the Highlands.”

“Alas!” the goldsmith insisted, “if it pleases your Majesty, your peaceful government and your commitment to giving equal justice to everyone has made main force a thin line to walk, except just within the bounds of the Highlands.”

“Well—weel—weel, man,” said the perplexed monarch, whose ideas of justice, expedience, and convenience, became on such occasions strangely embroiled; “just it is we should pay our debts, that the young man may pay his; and he must be paid, and in verbo regis he shall be paid—but how to come by the siller, man, is a difficult chapter—ye maun try the city, Geordie.”

“Well—well—well, man,” said the confused king, whose thoughts on justice, practicality, and convenience got oddly mixed up in moments like this; “it’s true we should settle our debts so the young man can settle his; and he has to be paid, and in verbo regis he will be paid—but figuring out how to get the money, man, is a tough situation—you need to check the city, Geordie.”

“To say the truth,” answered Heriot, “please your gracious Majesty, what betwixt loans and benevolences, and subsidies, the city is at this present——”

“To be honest,” replied Heriot, “if it pleases your gracious Majesty, due to loans, donations, and aid, the city is currently——”

“Donna tell me of what the city is,” said King James; “our Exchequer is as dry as Dean Giles's discourses on the penitentiary psalms—Ex nihilo nihil fit—It's ill taking the breeks aff a wild Highlandman—they that come to me for siller, should tell me how to come by it—the city ye maun try, Heriot; and donna think to be called Jingling Geordie for nothing—and in verbo regis I will pay the lad if you get me the loan—I wonnot haggle on the terms; and, between you and me, Geordie, we will redeem the brave auld estate of Glenvarloch.—But wherefore comes not the young lord to Court, Heriot—is he comely—is he presentable in the presence?”

“Donna, tell me about the city,” said King James; “our treasury is as empty as Dean Giles's talks on the penitential psalms—Ex nihilo nihil fit—It's tough trying to take the pants off a wild Highlander—those who come to me for cash should tell me how to get it—the city you must try, Heriot; and don’t think I'll be called Jingling Geordie for nothing—and in verbo regis I’ll pay the lad if you can get me the loan—I won’t negotiate on the terms; and, between you and me, Geordie, we will restore the great old estate of Glenvarloch.—But why doesn’t the young lord come to Court, Heriot—is he handsome—is he presentable in the royal presence?”

“No one can be more so,” said George Heriot; “but——”

“No one can be more so,” said George Heriot; “but——”

“Ay, I understand ye,” said his Majesty—“I understand ye—Res angusta domi—puir lad-puir lad!—and his father a right true leal Scots heart, though stiff in some opinions. Hark ye, Heriot, let the lad have twa hundred pounds to fit him out. And, here—here”—(taking the carcanet of rubies from his old hat)—“ye have had these in pledge before for a larger sum, ye auld Levite that ye are. Keep them in gage, till I gie ye back the siller out of the next subsidy.”

“Yeah, I get you,” said his Majesty—“I get you—Res angusta domi—poor kid—poor kid!—and his father had a truly loyal Scots heart, although he was stubborn about some things. Listen, Heriot, let the kid have two hundred pounds to get himself set up. And, here—here”—(taking the necklace of rubies from his old hat)—“you’ve had these as collateral before for a bigger amount, you old Jew that you are. Keep them as a guarantee until I can give you back the money from the next subsidy.”

“If it please your Majesty to give me such directions in writing,” said the cautious citizen.

“If it pleases Your Majesty to give me those instructions in writing,” said the careful citizen.

“The deil is in your nicety, George,” said the king; “ye are as preceese as a Puritan in form, and a mere Nullifidian in the marrow of the matter. May not a king's word serve ye for advancing your pitiful twa hundred pounds?”

“The devil is in your precision, George,” said the king; “you are as exact as a Puritan in form, yet completely indifferent at the core. Can’t a king’s word be enough to help you with your pathetic two hundred pounds?”

“But not for detaining the crown jewels,” said George Heriot.

“But not for detaining the crown jewels,” said George Heriot.

And the king, who from long experience was inured to dealing with suspicious creditors, wrote an order upon George Heriot, his well-beloved goldsmith and jeweller, for the sum of two hundred pounds, to be paid presently to Nigel Olifaunt, Lord of Glenvarloch, to be imputed as so much debts due to him by the crown; and authorizing the retention of a carcanet of balas rubies, with a great diamond, as described in a Catalogue of his Majesty's Jewels, to remain in possession of the said George Heriot, advancer of the said sum, and so forth, until he was lawfully contented and paid thereof. By another rescript, his Majesty gave the said George Heriot directions to deal with some of the monied men, upon equitable terms, for a sum of money for his Majesty's present use, not to be under 50,000 merks, but as much more as could conveniently be procured.

And the king, who had a lot of experience dealing with suspicious creditors, wrote an order to George Heriot, his trusted goldsmith and jeweler, for the amount of two hundred pounds, which was to be paid immediately to Nigel Olifaunt, Lord of Glenvarloch, to be counted as debts owed to him by the crown. He also authorized the retention of a necklace of balas rubies, along with a large diamond, as described in a Catalogue of his Majesty's Jewels, to stay with George Heriot, who advanced the sum, until he was legally satisfied and paid. In another order, his Majesty instructed George Heriot to negotiate with some wealthy individuals for a sum of money for his Majesty's immediate needs, not to be less than 50,000 merks, but as much more as could be reasonably obtained.

“And has he ony lair, this Lord Nigel of ours?” said the king.

“And does this Lord Nigel of ours have any lies?” said the king.

George Heriot could not exactly answer this question; but believed “the young lord had studied abroad.”

George Heriot couldn't exactly answer this question, but he believed "the young lord had studied abroad."

“He shall have our own advice,” said the king, “how to carry on his studies to maist advantage; and it may be we will have him come to Court, and study with Steenie and Babie Charles. And, now we think on't, away—away, George—for the bairns will be coming hame presently, and we would not as yet they kend of this matter we have been treating anent. Propera fedem, O Geordie. Clap your mule between your boughs, and god-den with you.”

“He will get our own advice,” said the king, “on how to make the most of his studies; and we might have him come to Court to study with Steenie and baby Charles. And now that I think about it, hurry—hurry, George—because the kids will be coming home soon, and we don’t want them to know about this matter we’ve been discussing. Propera fedem, O Geordie. Put your mule between your branches, and goodbye to you.”

Thus ended the conference betwixt the gentle King Jamie and his benevolent jeweller and goldsmith.

Thus ended the conference between the kind King Jamie and his generous jeweler and goldsmith.










CHAPTER VI

  O I do know him—tis the mouldy lemon
  Which our court wits will wet their lips withal,
  When they would sauce their honied conversation
  With somewhat sharper flavour—Marry sir,
  That virtue's wellnigh left him—all the juice
  That was so sharp and poignant, is squeezed out,
  While the poor rind, although as sour as ever,
  Must season soon the draff we give our grunters,
  For two legg'd things are weary on't.
                     The Chamberlain—A Comedy
O, I know him—he's the old, stale lemon  
That our court critics will lick their lips over,  
When they want to spice up their sweet conversations  
With something a bit sharper—Honestly, sir,  
That virtue is almost gone from him—all the juice  
That was once so sharp and biting is all squeezed out,  
While the poor peel, still as sour as ever,  
Must soon flavor the slop we feed our pigs,  
For two-legged creatures are tired of it.  
                     The Chamberlain—A Comedy

The good company invited by the hospitable citizen assembled at his house in Lombard Street at the “hollow and hungry hour” of noon, to partake of that meal which divides the day, being about the time when modern persons of fashion, turning themselves upon their pillow, begin to think, not without a great many doubts and much hesitation, that they will by and by commence it. Thither came the young Nigel, arrayed plainly, but in a dress, nevertheless, more suitable to his age and quality than he had formerly worn, accompanied by his servant Moniplies, whose outside also was considerably improved. His solemn and stern features glared forth from under a blue velvet bonnet, fantastically placed sideways on his head—he had a sound and tough coat of English blue broad-cloth, which, unlike his former vestment, would have stood the tug of all the apprentices in Fleet Street. The buckler and broadsword he wore as the arms of his condition, and a neat silver badge, bearing his lord's arms, announced that he was an appendage of aristocracy. He sat down in the good citizen's buttery, not a little pleased to find his attendance upon the table in the hall was likely to be rewarded with his share of a meal such as he had seldom partaken of.

The good company invited by the welcoming citizen gathered at his house on Lombard Street at the “hollow and hungry hour” of noon, to enjoy that meal that splits the day, around the time when fashionable modern folks, turning over in their beds, start to think—filled with many doubts and hesitations—that they might eventually get up for it. Young Nigel arrived, dressed simply, but in clothes that were more fitting for his age and status than what he used to wear, accompanied by his servant Moniplies, whose appearance had also improved significantly. His serious and stern features stood out from under a blue velvet hat, placed at an angle on his head—he wore a sturdy English blue broadcloth coat that, unlike his previous outfit, could withstand the struggles of all the apprentices in Fleet Street. The shield and broadsword he carried represented his status, and a neat silver badge displaying his lord's arms showed that he was a part of the aristocracy. He took a seat in the citizen's pantry, quite pleased to find that his presence at the table in the hall would likely be rewarded with a meal he had rarely experienced.

Mr. David Ramsay, that profound and ingenious mechanic, was safely conducted to Lombard Street, according to promise, well washed, brushed, and cleaned, from the soot of the furnace and the forge. His daughter, who came with him, was about twenty years old, very pretty, very demure, yet with lively black eyes, that ever and anon contradicted the expression of sobriety, to which silence, reserve, a plain velvet hood, and a cambric ruff, had condemned Mistress Marget, as the daughter of a quiet citizen.

Mr. David Ramsay, a skilled and clever mechanic, was safely taken to Lombard Street as promised, cleaned up and well-dressed, free from the soot of the furnace and the forge. His daughter, who accompanied him, was around twenty years old, very pretty and modest, yet with lively black eyes that occasionally contradicted the serious expression that her silence, reserve, a simple velvet hood, and a cambric ruff imposed on her as the daughter of a respectable citizen.

There were also two citizens and merchants of London, men ample in cloak, and many-linked golden chain, well to pass in the world, and experienced in their craft of merchandise, but who require no particular description. There was an elderly clergyman also, in his gown and cassock, a decent venerable man, partaking in his manners of the plainness of the citizens amongst whom he had his cure.

There were also two citizens and merchants from London, well-dressed in cloaks and adorned with multiple linked gold chains, respected in their community, and skilled in their trade, though they don't need a detailed description. An elderly clergyman was present as well, wearing his gown and cassock, a respectable and dignified man, whose straightforward manner reflected the simplicity of the citizens he served.

These may be dismissed with brief notice; but not so Sir Mungo Malagrowther, of Girnigo Castle, who claims a little more attention, as an original character of the time in which he flourished.

These can be brushed off quickly; but not Sir Mungo Malagrowther, of Girnigo Castle, who deserves a bit more attention as a unique figure of his time.

That good knight knocked at Master Heriot's door just as the clock began to strike twelve, and was seated in his chair ere the last stroke had chimed. This gave the knight an excellent opportunity of making sarcastic observations on all who came later than himself, not to mention a few rubs at the expense of those who had been so superfluous as to appear earlier.

That good knight knocked on Master Heriot's door just as the clock started striking twelve and was settled in his chair before the last chime had sounded. This gave the knight a perfect chance to make sarcastic comments about everyone who arrived after him, not to mention a few jabs at those who had been overly eager to show up early.

Having little or no property save his bare designation, Sir Mungo had been early attached to Court in the capacity of whipping-boy, as the office was then called, to King James the Sixth, and, with his Majesty, trained to all polite learning by his celebrated preceptor, George Buchanan. The office of whipping-boy doomed its unfortunate occupant to undergo all the corporeal punishment which the Lord's Anointed, whose proper person was of course sacred, might chance to incur, in the course of travelling through his grammar and prosody. Under the stern rule, indeed, of George Buchanan, who did not approve of the vicarious mode of punishment, James bore the penance of his own faults, and Mungo Malagrowther enjoyed a sinecure; but James's other pedagogue, Master Patrick Young, went more ceremoniously to work, and appalled the very soul of the youthful king by the floggings which he bestowed on the whipping-boy, when the royal task was not suitably performed. And be it told to Sir Mungo's praise, that there were points about him in the highest respect suited to his official situation. He had even in youth a naturally irregular and grotesque set of features, which, when distorted by fear, pain, and anger, looked like one of the whimsical faces which present themselves in a Gothic cornice. His voice also was high-pitched and querulous, so that, when smarting under Master Peter Young's unsparing inflictions, the expression of his grotesque physiognomy, and the superhuman yells which he uttered, were well suited to produce all the effects on the Monarch who deserved the lash, that could possibly be produced by seeing another and an innocent individual suffering for his delict.

Having little or no property besides his title, Sir Mungo was given the job of whipping-boy for King James the Sixth at an early age. Along with the king, he was educated in polite society by the famous teacher George Buchanan. The role of whipping-boy meant that he had to endure all the punishments that the king—whose person was considered sacred—might incur while learning grammar and poetry. Indeed, under the strict rule of George Buchanan, who didn't believe in this type of punishment, James faced the consequences of his own mistakes while Mungo Malagrowther had a cushy position. However, James’s other tutor, Master Patrick Young, took a more formal approach and terrified the young king with the beatings he gave to the whipping-boy when the royal lessons weren’t completed properly. To Sir Mungo's credit, he had features that were quite fitting for his role; even as a youth, he had a naturally irregular and unusual look, which became even more exaggerated when twisted by fear, pain, and anger—like one of the quirky faces found in Gothic architecture. His voice, too, was high-pitched and whiny, so that when he suffered under Master Peter Young's harsh treatment, his absurd expressions and the desperate screams he made were perfectly suited to evoke all the emotions in the king that seeing someone innocent suffer for his faults could possibly create.

Sir Mungo Malagrowther, for such he became, thus got an early footing at Court, which another would have improved and maintained. But, when he grew too big to be whipped, he had no other means of rendering himself acceptable. A bitter, caustic, and backbiting humour, a malicious wit, and an envy of others more prosperous than the possessor of such amiable qualities, have not, indeed, always been found obstacles to a courtier's rise; but then they must be amalgamated with a degree of selfish cunning and prudence, of which Sir Mungo had no share. His satire ran riot, his envy could not conceal itself, and it was not long after his majority till he had as many quarrels upon his hands as would have required a cat's nine lives to answer. In one of these rencontres he received, perhaps we should say fortunately, a wound, which served him as an excuse for answering no invitations of the kind in future. Sir Rullion Rattray, of Ranagullion, cut off, in mortal combat, three of the fingers of his right hand, so that Sir Mungo never could hold sword again. At a later period, having written some satirical verses upon the Lady Cockpen, he received so severe a chastisement from some persons employed for the purpose, that he was found half dead on the spot where they had thus dealt with him, and one of his thighs having been broken, and ill set, gave him a hitch in his gait, with which he hobbled to his grave. The lameness of his leg and hand, besides that they added considerably to the grotesque appearance of this original, procured him in future a personal immunity from the more dangerous consequences of his own humour; and he gradually grew old in the service of the Court, in safety of life and limb, though without either making friends or attaining preferment. Sometimes, indeed, the king was amused with his caustic sallies, but he had never art enough to improve the favourable opportunity; and his enemies (who were, for that matter, the whole Court) always found means to throw him out of favour again. The celebrated Archie Armstrong offered Sir Mungo, in his generosity, a skirt of his own fool's coat, proposing thereby to communicate to him the privileges and immunities of a professed jester—“For,” said the man of motley, “Sir Mungo, as he goes on just now, gets no more for a good jest than just the king's pardon for having made it.”

Sir Mungo Malagrowther, as he came to be known, got an early position at Court that someone else might have taken advantage of and built upon. But when he became too significant to be dismissed, he didn’t have any other way to make himself appealing. His bitter, sarcastic, and spiteful sense of humor, along with his jealousy of those who were more successful, weren’t necessarily barriers to a courtier's advancement; however, they needed to be combined with a level of selfish cunning and prudence that Sir Mungo lacked. His cutting remarks ran rampant, his envy showed itself clearly, and before long after reaching adulthood, he had more conflicts on his hands than a cat could handle with its nine lives. In one of these encounters, he fortunately received a wound that served as an excuse for avoiding such invitations in the future. Sir Rullion Rattray, of Ranagullion, severed three fingers from his right hand in a deadly duel, preventing Sir Mungo from ever wielding a sword again. Later on, after writing some satirical verses about Lady Cockpen, he was so severely punished by some hired individuals that they found him half-dead where they had attacked him, and one of his thighs was broken and poorly set, giving him a permanent limp that he carried to his grave. The lameness in his leg and hand not only added to his already eccentric appearance but also provided him a form of protection from the more serious repercussions of his humor; he gradually aged while serving at the Court, safe in terms of life and health, though he neither made allies nor gained any promotions. Occasionally, the king found his sharp comments entertaining, but he never had the cleverness to capitalize on those moments. His adversaries (which included pretty much everyone at Court) always managed to bring him back into disfavor. The well-known Archie Armstrong generously offered Sir Mungo a piece of his fool's coat, intending to grant him the rights and protections of a professional jester—"Because," said the jester, "as things stand now, Sir Mungo gets no more for a good joke than just the king's pardon for making it."

Even in London, the golden shower which fell around him did not moisten the blighted fortunes of Sir Mungo Malagrowther. He grew old, deaf, and peevish—lost even the spirit which had formerly animated his strictures—and was barely endured by James, who, though himself nearly as far stricken in years, retained, to an unusual and even an absurd degree, the desire to be surrounded by young people.

Even in London, the golden shower that fell around him did not dampen the unfortunate situation of Sir Mungo Malagrowther. He grew old, deaf, and irritable—lost even the spirit that had once fueled his criticisms—and was hardly tolerated by James, who, despite being nearly as old, still had an unusual and almost absurd desire to be around young people.

Sir Mungo, thus fallen into the yellow leaf of years and fortune, showed his emaciated form and faded embroidery at Court as seldom as his duty permitted; and spent his time in indulging his food for satire in the public walks, and in the aisles of Saint Paul's, which were then the general resort of newsmongers and characters of all descriptions, associating himself chiefly with such of his countrymen as he accounted of inferior birth and rank to himself. In this manner, hating and contemning commerce, and those who pursued it, he nevertheless lived a good deal among the Scottish artists and merchants, who had followed the Court to London. To these he could show his cynicism without much offence; for some submitted to his jeers and ill-humour in deference to his birth and knighthood, which in those days conferred high privileges—and others, of more sense, pitied and endured the old man, unhappy alike in his fortunes and his temper.

Sir Mungo, now at a later stage in life and misfortune, rarely showed his frail figure and faded clothing at Court, only as often as his duties allowed; instead, he spent his time indulging in his love for satire during public strolls and in the aisles of Saint Paul's, which were popular gathering spots for gossip and all kinds of characters. He primarily associated with those countrymen he considered of lower birth and status. In this way, while he despised and looked down on commerce and those who engaged in it, he still spent quite a bit of time with the Scottish artists and merchants who had followed the Court to London. To them, he could express his cynicism without too much backlash; some put up with his mockery and bad temper out of respect for his lineage and knighthood, which back then carried significant privileges—while others, being more sensible, felt pity for the old man, who was unfortunate both in his circumstances and his demeanor.

Amongst the latter was George Heriot, who, though his habits and education induced him to carry aristocratical feelings to a degree which would now be thought extravagant, had too much spirit and good sense to permit himself to be intruded upon to an unauthorized excess, or used with the slightest improper freedom, by such a person as Sir Mungo, to whom he was, nevertheless, not only respectfully civil, but essentially kind, and even generous.

Among the latter was George Heriot, who, despite his upbringing and lifestyle leading him to have aristocratic feelings that would now seem excessive, had too much spirit and common sense to allow himself to be intruded upon too much or treated with the slightest disrespect by someone like Sir Mungo. He was, however, not only polite but genuinely kind and even generous towards him.

Accordingly, this appeared from the manner in which Sir Mungo Malagrowther conducted himself upon entering the apartment. He paid his respects to Master Heriot, and a decent, elderly, somewhat severe-looking female, in a coif, who, by the name of Aunt Judith, did the honours of his house and table, with little or no portion of the supercilious acidity, which his singular physiognomy assumed when he made his bow successively to David Ramsay and the two sober citizens. He thrust himself into the conversation of the latter, to observe he had heard in Paul's, that the bankrupt concern of Pindivide, a great merchant,—who, as he expressed it, had given the crows a pudding, and on whom he knew, from the same authority, each of the honest citizens has some unsettled claim,—was like to prove a total loss—“stock and block, ship and cargo, keel and rigging, all lost, now and for ever.”

This was clear from the way Sir Mungo Malagrowther acted when he entered the room. He greeted Master Heriot and a respectable, older woman with a serious expression, named Aunt Judith, who managed his household and meals, showing none of the haughty disdain his unusual face displayed when he bowed to David Ramsay and the two serious townsmen. He joined their conversation to mention he had heard at Paul's that the bankrupt business of Pindivide, a prominent merchant—who, as he put it, had "given the crows a pudding"—and about whom he knew, from the same source, each of the honest citizens had some outstanding claims, was likely going to turn out to be a total loss—“stock and block, ship and cargo, keel and rigging, all lost, now and forever.”

The two citizens grinned at each other; but, too prudent to make their private affairs the subject of public discussion, drew their heads together, and evaded farther conversation by speaking in a whisper.

The two citizens smiled at each other; but, being too careful to make their private matters a topic for public discussion, leaned in and avoided further conversation by speaking in a whisper.

The old Scots knight next attacked the watchmaker with the same disrespectful familiarity.—“Davie,” he said,—“Davie, ye donnard auld idiot, have ye no gane mad yet, with applying your mathematical science, as ye call it, to the book of Apocalypse? I expected to have heard ye make out the sign of the beast, as clear as a tout on a bawbee whistle.”

The old Scottish knight then started on the watchmaker with the same disrespectful tone. “Davie,” he said, “Davie, you daft old fool, haven’t you gone crazy yet trying to use your so-called mathematical science on the book of Revelation? I thought you would have figured out the sign of the beast, as clear as a tune on a cheap whistle.”

“Why, Sir Mungo,” said the mechanist, after making an effort to recall to his recollection what had been said to him, and by whom, “it may be, that ye are nearer the mark than ye are yoursell aware of; for, taking the ten horns o' the beast, ye may easily estimate by your digitals—”

“Why, Sir Mungo,” said the mechanic, after trying to remember what had been said to him and by whom, “you might be closer to the truth than you realize; because, when considering the ten horns of the beast, you can easily measure with your fingers—”

“My digits! you d—d auld, rusty, good-for-nothing time-piece!” exclaimed Sir Mungo, while, betwixt jest and earnest, he laid on his hilt his hand, or rather his claw, (for Sir Rullion's broadsword has abridged it into that form,)—“D'ye mean to upbraid me with my mutilation?”

“My fingers! You damn old, rusty, useless clock!” exclaimed Sir Mungo, while, half joking and half serious, he rested his hand, or rather his claw (since Sir Rullion's broadsword has reduced it to that form), on his hilt. “Are you really going to mock me for my injury?”

Master Heriot interfered. “I cannot persuade our friend David,” he said, “that scriptural prophecies are intended to remain in obscurity, until their unexpected accomplishment shall make, as in former days, that fulfilled which was written. But you must not exert your knightly valour on him for all that.”

Master Heriot stepped in. “I can’t convince our friend David,” he said, “that scriptural prophecies are meant to stay unclear until their surprising fulfillment, just like in the past, makes what was written come true. But you shouldn’t use your knightly bravery on him because of that.”

“By my saul, and it would be throwing it away,” said Sir Mungo, laughing. “I would as soon set out, with hound and horn, to hunt a sturdied sheep; for he is in a doze again, and up to the chin in numerals, quotients, and dividends.—Mistress Margaret, my pretty honey,” for the beauty of the young citizen made even Sir Mungo Malagrowther's grim features relax themselves a little, “is your father always as entertaining as he seems just now?”

“By my soul, that would be a waste,” said Sir Mungo, laughing. “I might as well head out, with hound and horn, to hunt a tough sheep; because he's dozing off again, buried in numbers, quotients, and dividends.—Mistress Margaret, my lovely honey,” for the beauty of the young citizen made even Sir Mungo Malagrowther's stern features soften a bit, “is your father always as entertaining as he seems right now?”

Mistress Margaret simpered, bridled, looked to either side, then straight before her; and, having assumed all the airs of bashful embarrassment and timidity which were necessary, as she thought, to cover a certain shrewd readiness which really belonged to her character, at length replied: “That indeed her father was very thoughtful, but she had heard that he took the habit of mind from her grandfather.”

Mistress Margaret smiled coyly, glanced around, then looked straight ahead; and, having put on all the pretenses of bashful embarrassment and shyness that she thought were needed to hide a certain cleverness that was actually part of her nature, finally responded: “Yes, my father is quite considerate, but I’ve heard he got that way from my grandfather.”

“Your grandfather!” said Sir Mungo,—after doubting if he had heard her aright,—“Said she her grandfather! The lassie is distraught!—I ken nae wench on this side of Temple Bar that is derived from so distant a relation.”

“Your grandfather!” said Sir Mungo, after pausing to confirm he had heard her right, “Did she say her grandfather! The girl is out of her mind! I don’t know any girl around here that has such a distant family connection.”

“She has got a godfather, however, Sir Mungo,” said George Heriot, again interfering; “and I hope you will allow him interest enough with you, to request you will not put his pretty godchild to so deep a blush.”

“She has a godfather, though, Sir Mungo,” said George Heriot, interrupting again; “and I hope you’ll give him enough consideration to ask you not to make his lovely godchild blush so deeply.”

“The better—the better,” said Sir Mungo. “It is a credit to her, that, bred and born within the sound of Bow-bell, she can blush for any thing; and, by my saul, Master George,” he continued, chucking the irritated and reluctant damsel under the chin, “she is bonny enough to make amends for her lack of ancestry—at least, in such a region as Cheapside, where, d'ye mind me, the kettle cannot call the porridge-pot—”

“The better—the better,” said Sir Mungo. “It’s impressive that she, being raised and born so close to Bow Bells, can still feel ashamed about anything; and, I swear, Master George,” he continued, lifting the irritated and reluctant young woman’s chin, “she’s pretty enough to make up for her lack of family background—at least in a place like Cheapside, where, you know, the kettle can’t really call the pot black—”

The damsel blushed, but not so angrily as before. Master George Heriot hastened to interrupt the conclusion of Sir Mungo's homely proverb, by introducing him personally to Lord Nigel.

The young woman blushed, but not as angrily as before. Master George Heriot quickly stepped in to cut off the end of Sir Mungo's simple saying by introducing him to Lord Nigel.

Sir Mungo could not at first understand what his host said,—“Bread of Heaven, wha say ye, man?”

Sir Mungo couldn't initially grasp what his host was saying—“Bread of Heaven, what do you say, man?”

Upon the name of Nigel Olifaunt, Lord Glenvarloch, being again hollowed into his ear, he drew up, and, regarding his entertainer with some austerity, rebuked him for not making persons of quality acquainted with each other, that they might exchange courtesies before they mingled with other folks. He then made as handsome and courtly a congee to his new acquaintance as a man maimed in foot and hand could do; and, observing he had known my lord, his father, bid him welcome to London, and hoped he should see him at Court.

Upon hearing the name Nigel Olifaunt, Lord Glenvarloch, once more spoken to him, he straightened up and, looking at his host with some seriousness, scolded him for not introducing people of nobility to one another so they could exchange polite greetings before interacting with others. He then made the best and most gracious bow to his new acquaintance that a man with a disability in foot and hand could manage; and, noting that he had known his lordship’s father, welcomed him to London and expressed hope to see him at Court.

Nigel in an instant comprehended, as well from Sir Mungo's manner, as from a strict compression of their entertainer's lips, which intimated the suppression of a desire to laugh, that he was dealing with an original of no ordinary description, and accordingly, returned his courtesy with suitable punctiliousness. Sir Mungo, in the meanwhile, gazed on him with much earnestness; and, as the contemplation of natural advantages was as odious to him as that of wealth, or other adventitious benefits, he had no sooner completely perused the handsome form and good features of the young lord, than like one of the comforters of the man of Uz, he drew close up to him, to enlarge on the former grandeur of the Lords of Glenvarloch, and the regret with which he had heard, that their representative was not likely to possess the domains of his ancestry. Anon, he enlarged upon the beauties of the principal mansion of Glenvarloch—the commanding site of the old castle—the noble expanse of the lake, stocked with wildfowl for hawking—the commanding screen of forest, terminating in a mountain-ridge abounding with deer—and all the other advantages of that fine and ancient barony, till Nigel, in spite of every effort to the contrary, was unwillingly obliged to sigh.

Nigel instantly understood, both from Sir Mungo's demeanor and the tightness of their host's lips, which suggested he was trying not to laugh, that he was dealing with a truly unique character. As a result, he responded with the appropriate respect. Meanwhile, Sir Mungo looked at him intensely; since he found contemplating natural advantages as distasteful as discussing wealth or other superficial gains, he quickly took in the handsome figure and good looks of the young lord. Like one of Job's comforters, he moved closer to discuss the former glory of the Lords of Glenvarloch and the disappointment he felt that their current representative was not likely to inherit his ancestral lands. Soon, he elaborated on the beauty of the main mansion at Glenvarloch—the impressive location of the old castle—the grand expanse of the lake, filled with wildfowl for hawking—the majestic frame of the forest, leading to a mountain ridge teeming with deer—and all the other charms of that magnificent and historic barony, until Nigel, despite his best efforts, couldn't help but sigh.

Sir Mungo, skilful in discerning when the withers of those he conversed with were wrung, observed that his new acquaintance winced, and would willingly have pressed the discussion; but the cook's impatient knock upon the dresser with the haft of his dudgeon-knife, now gave a signal loud enough to be heard from the top of the house to the bottom, summoning, at the same time, the serving-men to place the dinner upon the table, and the guests to partake of it.

Sir Mungo, skilled at sensing when those he talked to were uncomfortable, noticed that his new acquaintance flinched and would have liked to continue the conversation. However, the cook's impatient knock on the dresser with the handle of his knife was loud enough to be heard throughout the house, signaling both the servants to set the dinner on the table and the guests to join in.

Sir Mungo, who was an admirer of good cheer,—a taste which, by the way, might have some weight in reconciling his dignity to these city visits,—was tolled off by the sound, and left Nigel and the other guests in peace, until his anxiety to arrange himself in his due place of pre-eminence at the genial board was duly gratified. Here, seated on the left hand of Aunt Judith, he beheld Nigel occupy the station of yet higher honour on the right, dividing that matron from pretty Mistress Margaret; but he saw this with the more patience, that there stood betwixt him and the young lord a superb larded capon.

Sir Mungo, who appreciated a good time—which might explain why he felt comfortable during these city visits—was drawn away by the sound and left Nigel and the other guests in peace until he could settle into his rightful position of importance at the cheerful gathering. Seated at Aunt Judith's left, he noticed Nigel occupying the more prestigious spot on the right, placing that matron between him and the lovely Mistress Margaret. However, he was able to tolerate this arrangement better because there was a magnificent larded capon positioned between him and the young lord.

The dinner proceeded according to the form of the times. All was excellent of the kind; and, besides the Scottish cheer promised, the board displayed beef and pudding, the statutory dainties of Old England. A small cupboard of plate, very choicely and beautifully wrought, did not escape the compliments of some of the company, and an oblique sneer from Sir Mungo, as intimating the owner's excellence in his own mechanical craft.

The dinner went on as was the custom of the time. Everything was delicious, and in addition to the traditional Scottish dishes, the table was filled with beef and pudding, the classic treats of Old England. A small cupboard of finely crafted silverware caught the admiration of some guests, along with a sideways jab from Sir Mungo, suggesting the owner's skill in his trade.

“I am not ashamed of the workmanship, Sir Mungo,” said the honest citizen. “They say, a good cook knows how to lick his own fingers; and, methinks, it were unseemly that I, who have furnished half the cupboards in broad Britain, should have my own covered with paltry pewter.”

“I’m not ashamed of the work, Sir Mungo,” said the honest citizen. “They say a good cook knows how to lick his own fingers; and I think it would be inappropriate for me, who have filled half the cupboards in all of Britain, to have my own covered with cheap pewter.”

The blessing of the clergyman now left the guests at liberty to attack what was placed before them; and the meal went forward with great decorum, until Aunt Judith, in farther recommendation of the capon, assured her company that it was of a celebrated breed of poultry, which she had herself brought from Scotland.

The clergyman's blessing now allowed the guests to dig into what was served; the meal proceeded with great decorum, until Aunt Judith, in further praise of the capon, assured everyone that it was from a famous breed of poultry that she had personally brought from Scotland.

“Then, like some of his countrymen, madam,” said the pitiless Sir Mungo, not without a glance towards his landlord, “he has been well larded in England.”

“Then, like some of his countrymen, ma'am,” said the ruthless Sir Mungo, not without a glance towards his landlord, “he has been well covered in England.”

“There are some others of his countrymen,” answered Master Heriot, “to whom all the lard in England has not been able to render that good office.”

“There are some other people from his country,” Master Heriot replied, “for whom all the lard in England hasn’t been able to do any good.”

Sir Mungo sneered and reddened, the rest of the company laughed; and the satirist, who had his reasons for not coming to extremity with Master George, was silent for the rest of the dinner.

Sir Mungo sneered and blushed, while everyone else laughed; and the satirist, who had his reasons for not confronting Master George directly, stayed quiet for the rest of the dinner.

The dishes were exchanged for confections, and wine of the highest quality and flavour; and Nigel saw the entertainments of the wealthiest burgomasters, which he had witnessed abroad, fairly outshone by the hospitality of a London citizen. Yet there was nothing ostentatious, or which seemed inconsistent with the degree of an opulent burgher.

The plates were swapped for desserts, and the finest wine available; Nigel observed that the entertainment hosted by the richest city officials he had seen overseas was easily surpassed by the hospitality of a Londoner. Still, there was nothing flashy or out of place for someone of a wealthy merchant's status.

While the collation proceeded, Nigel, according to the good-breeding of the time, addressed his discourse principally to Mrs. Judith, whom he found to be a woman of a strong Scottish understanding, more inclined towards the Puritans than was her brother George, (for in that relation she stood to him, though he always called her aunt,) attached to him in the strongest degree, and sedulously attentive to all his comforts. As the conversation of this good dame was neither lively nor fascinating, the young lord naturally addressed himself next to the old horologer's very pretty daughter, who sat upon his left hand. From her, however, there was no extracting any reply beyond the measure of a monosyllable; and when the young gallant had said the best and most complaisant things which his courtesy supplied, the smile that mantled upon her pretty mouth was so slight and evanescent, as scarce to be discernible.

While they were gathering everything together, Nigel, following the etiquette of the time, mainly spoke to Mrs. Judith, who he found to be a woman with a strong Scottish intellect, leaning more towards the Puritans than her brother George did (even though he always called her aunt). She was extremely fond of him and dedicated to ensuring his comfort. Since this good lady's conversation was neither lively nor engaging, the young lord naturally turned to the old clockmaker's very attractive daughter, who sat to his left. However, he could only get monosyllabic responses from her, and after he said all the kind and courteous things he could think of, the smile that flickered on her pretty lips was so faint and fleeting that it was hardly noticeable.

Nigel was beginning to tire of his company, for the old citizens were speaking with his host of commercial matters in language to him totally unintelligible, when Sir Mungo Malagrowther suddenly summoned their attention.

Nigel was starting to get bored with his companions, as the older citizens were discussing business matters with his host in a language that he couldn’t understand at all, when Sir Mungo Malagrowther suddenly caught their attention.

That amiable personage had for some time withdrawn from the company into the recess of a projecting window, so formed and placed as to command a view of the door of the house, and of the street. This situation was probably preferred by Sir Mungo on account of the number of objects which the streets of a metropolis usually offer, of a kind congenial to the thoughts of a splenetic man. What he had hitherto seen passing there, was probably of little consequence; but now a trampling of horse was heard without, and the knight suddenly exclaimed,—“By my faith, Master George, you had better go look to shop; for here comes Knighton, the Duke of Buckingham's groom, and two fellows after him, as if he were my Lord Duke himself.”

That friendly character had been hanging back from the group in the nook of a sticking-out window, which was ideally placed to see the door of the house and the street. Sir Mungo probably liked this spot because of the many sights that a big city usually provides, which are interesting to someone with a gloomy mindset. What he had seen pass by before was likely unimportant; but now he heard the sound of horses approaching and suddenly said, “By my word, Master George, you’d better check the shop; here comes Knighton, the Duke of Buckingham's groom, and two guys following him, as if he were my Lord Duke himself.”

“My cash-keeper is below,” said Heriot, without disturbing himself, “and he will let me know if his Grace's commands require my immediate attention.”

“My cashier is downstairs,” said Heriot, without getting upset, “and he will inform me if the Duke's orders need my immediate attention.”

“Umph!—cash-keeper?” muttered Sir Mungo to himself; “he would have had an easy office when I first kend ye.—But,” said he, speaking aloud, “will you not come to the window, at least? for Knighton has trundled a piece of silver-plate into your house—ha! ha! ha!—trundled it upon its edge, as a callan' would drive a hoop. I cannot help laughing—ha! ha! ha!—at the fellow's impudence.”

“Ugh!—cash-keeper?” muttered Sir Mungo to himself; “he would have had an easy job when I first knew you.—But,” he said aloud, “won't you at least come to the window? Knighton has rolled a piece of silverware into your house—ha! ha! ha!—rolled it on its edge, like a kid would roll a hoop. I can't help but laugh—ha! ha! ha!—at that guy's audacity.”

“I believe you could not help laughing,” said George Heriot, rising up and leaving the room, “if your best friend lay dying.”

“I think you couldn't help but laugh,” said George Heriot, standing up and leaving the room, “even if your best friend was dying.”

“Bitter that, my lord—ha?” said Sir Mungo, addressing Nigel. “Our friend is not a goldsmith for nothing—he hath no leaden wit. But I will go down, and see what comes on't.”

“That's tough, right, my lord?” said Sir Mungo, talking to Nigel. “Our friend isn't a goldsmith for no reason—he's no fool. But I'll head down and see what happens.”

Heriot, as he descended the stairs, met his cash-keeper coming up, with some concern in his face.—“Why, how now, Roberts,” said the goldsmith, “what means all this, man?”

Heriot, as he came down the stairs, ran into his cash-keeper coming up, looking a bit worried. “What's going on, Roberts?” the goldsmith asked.

“It is Knighton, Master Heriot, from the Court—Knighton, the Duke's man. He brought back the salver you carried to Whitehall, flung it into the entrance as if it had been an old pewter platter, and bade me tell you the king would have none of your trumpery.”

“It’s Knighton, Master Heriot, from the Court—Knighton, the Duke’s guy. He returned the tray you took to Whitehall, threw it into the entrance like it was an old pewter dish, and told me to say the king doesn’t want any of your nonsense.”

“Ay, indeed,” said George Heriot—“None of my trumpery!—Come hither into the compting-room, Roberts.—Sir Mungo,” he added, bowing to the knight, who had joined, and was preparing to follow them, “I pray your forgiveness for an instant.”

“Yeah, exactly,” said George Heriot—“None of my nonsense!—Come over to the accounting room, Roberts.—Sir Mungo,” he added, bowing to the knight who had joined them and was getting ready to follow, “Please forgive me just for a moment.”

In virtue of this prohibition, Sir Mungo, who, as well as the rest of the company, had overheard what passed betwixt George Heriot and his cash-keeper, saw himself condemned to wait in the outer business-room, where he would have endeavoured to slake his eager curiosity by questioning Knighton; but that emissary of greatness, after having added to the uncivil message of his master some rudeness of his own, had again scampered westward, with his satellites at his heels.

Due to this prohibition, Sir Mungo, along with the rest of the group, who had overheard the conversation between George Heriot and his cash keeper, found himself stuck waiting in the outer business room. He would have tried to satisfy his burning curiosity by asking Knighton questions, but that messenger of importance, after adding some of his own rudeness to his master’s already rude message, had quickly dashed off westward, followed by his lackeys.

In the meanwhile, the name of the Duke of Buckingham, the omnipotent favourite both of the king and the Prince of Wales, had struck some anxiety into the party which remained in the great parlour. He was more feared than beloved, and, if not absolutely of a tyrannical disposition, was accounted haughty, violent, and vindictive. It pressed on Nigel's heart, that he himself, though he could not conceive how, nor why, might be the original cause of the resentment of the Duke against his benefactor. The others made their comments in whispers, until the sounds reached Ramsay, who had not heard a word of what had previously passed, but, plunged in those studies with which he connected every other incident and event, took up only the catchword, and replied,—“The Duke—the Duke of Buckingham—George Villiers—ay—I have spoke with Lambe about him.”

In the meantime, the name of the Duke of Buckingham, the all-powerful favorite of both the king and the Prince of Wales, had caused some concern among the group still in the large parlor. He was more feared than liked, and while he wasn't entirely tyrannical, he was seen as arrogant, aggressive, and vengeful. It weighed on Nigel's mind that he, despite not understanding how or why, might be the root cause of the Duke’s anger towards his benefactor. The others whispered their comments until their murmurs reached Ramsay, who hadn’t heard anything that had been said before. Deep in his own thoughts, which he linked to every other incident and event, he picked up just the keyword and responded, “The Duke—the Duke of Buckingham—George Villiers—yes, I’ve talked to Lambe about him.”

“Our Lord and our Lady! Now, how can you say so, father?” said his daughter, who had shrewdness enough to see that her father was touching upon dangerous ground.

“Our Lord and our Lady! How can you say that, Dad?” said his daughter, who was clever enough to realize that her father was getting into risky territory.

“Why, ay, child,” answered Ramsay; “the stars do but incline, they cannot compel. But well you wot, it is commonly said of his Grace, by those who have the skill to cast nativities, that there was a notable conjunction of Mars and Saturn—the apparent or true time of which, reducing the calculations of Eichstadius made for the latitude of Oranienburgh, to that of London, gives seven hours, fifty-five minutes, and forty-one seconds——”

“Why, yes, child,” Ramsay replied; “the stars can influence, but they can’t force anyone to do anything. But you know, it’s commonly said about his Grace, by those who know how to read horoscopes, that there was a significant alignment of Mars and Saturn—the actual or calculated time of which, adjusting Eichstadius's calculations for the latitude of Oranienburgh to that of London, amounts to seven hours, fifty-five minutes, and forty-one seconds—”

“Hold your peace, old soothsayer,” said Heriot, who at that instant entered the room with a calm and steady countenance; “your calculations are true and undeniable when they regard brass and wire, and mechanical force; but future events are at the pleasure of Him who bears the hearts of kings in his hands.”

“Be quiet, old fortune-teller,” said Heriot, who at that moment entered the room with a calm and steady expression; “your calculations are accurate and undeniable when it comes to brass, wire, and mechanical force; but what happens in the future is out of our hands and is determined by the one who holds the hearts of kings.”

“Ay, but, George,” answered the watchmaker, “there was a concurrence of signs at this gentleman's birth, which showed his course would be a strange one. Long has it been said of him, he was born at the very meeting of night and day, and under crossing and contending influences that may affect both us and him.

“Ay, but, George,” replied the watchmaker, “there were certain signs at this gentleman's birth that indicated his path would be unusual. It's long been said that he was born right at the intersection of night and day, and under conflicting influences that could impact both us and him.”

    'Full moon and high sea,
     Great man shalt thou be;
     Red dawning, stormy sky,
     Bloody death shalt thou die.'”
 
    'Full moon and high sea,  
     Great man you shall be;  
     Red dawn, stormy sky,  
     Bloody death you shall die.'”

“It is not good to speak of such things,” said Heriot, “especially of the great; stone walls have ears, and a bird of the air shall carry the matter.”

“It’s not wise to talk about things like that,” said Heriot, “especially about the powerful; stone walls have ears, and a bird in the sky will carry the message.”

Several of the guests seemed to be of their host's opinion. The two merchants took brief leave, as if under consciousness that something was wrong. Mistress Margaret, her body-guard of 'prentices being in readiness, plucked her father by the sleeve, and, rescuing him from a brown study, (whether referring to the wheels of Time, or to that of Fortune, is uncertain,) wished good-night to her friend Mrs. Judith, and received her godfather's blessing, who, at the same time, put upon her slender finger a ring of much taste and some value; for he seldom suffered her to leave him without some token of his affection. Thus honourably dismissed, and accompanied by her escort, she set forth on her return to Fleet Street.

Several of the guests seemed to share their host's opinion. The two merchants took a quick leave, as if sensing that something was off. Mistress Margaret, with her group of apprentices ready, tugged at her father's sleeve, pulling him out of his deep thoughts—whether about the passage of time or fortune is unclear. She wished goodnight to her friend Mrs. Judith and received her godfather's blessing, who also slipped a tasteful and valuable ring onto her slender finger, as he usually wouldn’t let her leave without some sign of his affection. Honorably dismissed and accompanied by her escort, she headed back to Fleet Street.

Sir Mungo had bid adieu to Master Heriot as he came out from the back compting-room, but such was the interest which he took in the affairs of his friend, that, when Master George went upstairs, he could not help walking into that sanctum sanctorum, to see how Master Roberts was employed. The knight found the cash-keeper busy in making extracts from those huge brass-clasped leathern-bound manuscript folios, which are the pride and trust of dealers, and the dread of customers whose year of grace is out. The good knight leant his elbows on the desk, and said to the functionary in a condoling tone of voice,—“What! you have lost a good customer, I fear, Master Roberts, and are busied in making out his bill of charges?”

Sir Mungo had said goodbye to Master Heriot as he left the back office, but he was so interested in his friend's affairs that when Master George went upstairs, he couldn't help but walk into that private room to see what Master Roberts was working on. The knight found the cashier busy making notes from the large brass-clasped leather-bound manuscript books that are the pride of dealers and the nightmare of customers whose credit has run out. The good knight leaned on the desk and said to the clerk in a sympathetic tone, “What! I’m afraid you’ve lost a good customer, Master Roberts, and are busy preparing his bill?”

Now, it chanced that Roberts, like Sir Mungo himself, was a little deaf, and, like Sir Mungo, knew also how to make the most of it; so that he answered at cross purposes,—“I humbly crave your pardon, Sir Mungo, for not having sent in your bill of charge sooner, but my master bade me not disturb you. I will bring the items together in a moment.” So saying, he began to turn over the leaves of his book of fate, murmuring, “Repairing ane silver seal-new clasp to his chain of office—ane over-gilt brooch to his hat, being a Saint Andrew's cross, with thistles—a copper gilt pair of spurs,—this to Daniel Driver, we not dealing in the article.”

Now, it happened that Roberts, just like Sir Mungo himself, was a bit deaf, and, like Sir Mungo, he also knew how to take advantage of it. So he answered in a confusing way, “I sincerely apologize, Sir Mungo, for not sending your bill sooner, but my boss told me not to bother you. I’ll gather the details in a moment.” With that, he started flipping through the pages of his book, mumbling, “Repairing a silver seal with a new clasp for his chain of office—a gold-plated brooch for his hat, shaped like a Saint Andrew's cross and decorated with thistles—a pair of copper gilt spurs—this to Daniel Driver, since we don’t deal with that item.”

He would have proceeded; but Sir Mungo, not prepared to endure the recital of the catalogue of his own petty debts, and still less willing to satisfy them on the spot, wished the bookkeeper, cavalierly, good-night, and left the house without farther ceremony. The clerk looked after him with a civil city sneer, and immediately resumed the more serious labours which Sir Mungo's intrusion had interrupted.

He would have continued, but Sir Mungo, unwilling to listen to the list of his own small debts and even less inclined to pay them right then, casually wished the bookkeeper goodnight and left the house without any further ceremony. The clerk watched him go with a polite city smirk and quickly returned to the more serious work that Sir Mungo's interruption had disrupted.










CHAPTER VII

  Things needful we have thought on; but the thing
  Of all most needful—that which Scripture terms,
  As if alone it merited regard,
  The ONE thing needful—that's yet unconsider'd.
                       The Chamberlain.
  We’ve thought about the necessary things; but the thing  
  Most essential—what Scripture calls,  
  As if it deserves attention all on its own,  
  The ONE thing that’s truly necessary—that’s still not considered.  
                       The Chamberlain.

When the rest of the company had taken their departure from Master Heriot's house, the young Lord of Glenvarloch also offered to take leave; but his host detained him for a few minutes, until all were gone excepting the clergyman.

When everyone else had left Master Heriot's house, the young Lord of Glenvarloch also said he would take his leave; however, his host kept him for a few minutes until everyone was gone except for the clergyman.

“My lord,” then said the worthy citizen, “we have had our permitted hour of honest and hospitable pastime, and now I would fain delay you for another and graver purpose, as it is our custom, when we have the benefit of good Mr. Windsor's company, that he reads the prayers of the church for the evening before we separate. Your excellent father, my lord, would not have departed before family worship—I hope the same from your lordship.”

“My lord,” said the respected citizen, “we’ve had our allowed hour of genuine and friendly enjoyment, and now I want to take a moment for a more serious reason, as is our tradition when we have the pleasure of good Mr. Windsor's company, that he reads the evening prayers of the church before we part ways. Your wonderful father, my lord, would never have left before family worship—I hope for the same from you, my lord.”

“With pleasure, sir,” answered Nigel; “and you add in the invitation an additional obligation to those with which you have loaded me. When young men forget what is their duty, they owe deep thanks to the friend who will remind them of it.”

“Of course, sir,” Nigel replied; “and you’re adding another obligation to the ones you’ve already given me. When young men lose sight of their responsibilities, they should be very grateful to the friend who points them out.”

While they talked together in this manner, the serving-men had removed the folding-tables, brought forward a portable reading-desk, and placed chairs and hassocks for their master, their mistress, and the noble stranger. Another low chair, or rather a sort of stool, was placed close beside that of Master Heriot; and though the circumstance was trivial, Nigel was induced to notice it, because, when about to occupy that seat, he was prevented by a sign from the old gentleman, and motioned to another of somewhat more elevation. The clergyman took his station behind the reading-desk. The domestics, a numerous family both of clerks and servants, including Moniplies, attended, with great gravity, and were accommodated with benches.

While they were talking like this, the servants had cleared away the folding tables, set up a portable reading desk, and arranged chairs and cushions for their master, mistress, and the distinguished guest. Another low chair, or more like a stool, was placed right next to Master Heriot's. Though it seemed unimportant, Nigel noticed it because, just as he was about to sit there, the old gentleman signaled him to a different, slightly taller seat. The clergyman took his place behind the reading desk. The staff, a large group of clerks and servants, including Moniplies, were present with serious expressions and were given benches.

The household were all seated, and, externally at least, composed to devout attention, when a low knock was heard at the door of the apartment; Mrs. Judith looked anxiously at her brother, as if desiring to know his pleasure. He nodded his head gravely, and looked to the door. Mrs. Judith immediately crossed the chamber, opened the door, and led into the apartment a beautiful creature, whose sudden and singular appearance might have made her almost pass for an apparition. She was deadly pale-there was not the least shade of vital red to enliven features, which were exquisitely formed, and might, but for that circumstance, have been termed transcendently beautiful. Her long black hair fell down over her shoulders and down her back, combed smoothly and regularly, but without the least appearance of decoration or ornament, which looked very singular at a period when head-gear, as it was called, of one sort or other, was generally used by all ranks. Her dress was of white, of the simplest fashion, and hiding all her person excepting the throat, face, and hands. Her form was rather beneath than above the middle size, but so justly proportioned and elegantly made, that the spectator's attention was entirely withdrawn from her size. In contradiction of the extreme plainness of all the rest of her attire, she wore a necklace which a duchess might have envied, so large and lustrous were the brilliants of which it was composed; and around her waist a zone of rubies of scarce inferior value.

The household was all seated and, at least on the surface, appeared to be listening devoutly, when a soft knock was heard at the door of the room. Mrs. Judith glanced nervously at her brother, as if wanting to know what he thought. He nodded gravely and looked toward the door. Mrs. Judith quickly crossed the room, opened the door, and brought into the space a stunning figure whose sudden and unusual presence might have made her seem like a ghost. She was deathly pale—there wasn’t a hint of rosy color to brighten her exquisitely shaped features, which, otherwise, could have been called extraordinarily beautiful. Her long black hair fell over her shoulders and down her back, combed smoothly and neatly, but without any hint of decoration, which looked quite odd during a time when headpieces of some kind were commonly worn by people of all classes. Her dress was simple white, covering all of her body except for her throat, face, and hands. She was slightly below average height, but her perfectly proportioned and elegantly built figure drew attention away from her size. Contrary to the extreme plainness of the rest of her outfit, she wore a necklace that a duchess would envy, so large and brilliant were the gems it was made of; and around her waist, she had a belt of rubies of nearly equal value.

When this singular figure entered the apartment, she cast her eyes on Nigel, and paused, as if uncertain whether to advance or retreat. The glance which she took of him seemed to be one rather of uncertainty and hesitation, than of bashfulness or timidity. Aunt Judith took her by the hand, and led her slowly forward—her dark eyes, however, continued to be fixed on Nigel, with an expression of melancholy by which he felt strangely affected. Even when she was seated on the vacant stool, which was placed there probably for her accommodation, she again looked on him more than once with the same pensive, lingering, and anxious expression, but without either shyness or embarrassment, not even so much as to call the slightest degree of complexion into her cheek.

When this unique person walked into the apartment, she looked at Nigel and paused, as if unsure whether to move closer or step back. The way she glanced at him seemed more about uncertainty and hesitation than shyness or fear. Aunt Judith took her hand and guided her slowly forward—her dark eyes, however, remained fixed on Nigel, filled with a sadness that strangely affected him. Even when she sat on the empty stool that was probably put there for her, she looked at him several times with that same thoughtful, lingering, and anxious expression, but without any shyness or embarrassment, not even a hint of color in her cheeks.

So soon as this singular female had taken up the prayer-book, which was laid upon her cushion, she seemed immersed in devotional duty; and although Nigel's attention to the service was so much disturbed by this extraordinary apparition, that he looked towards her repeatedly in the course of the service, he could never observe that her eyes or her thoughts strayed so much as a single moment from the task in which she was engaged. Nigel himself was less attentive, for the appearance of this lady seemed so extraordinary, that, strictly as he had been bred up by his father to pay the most reverential attention during performance of divine service, his thoughts in spite of himself were disturbed by her presence, and he earnestly wished the prayers were ended, that his curiosity might obtain some gratification. When the service was concluded, and each had remained, according to the decent and edifying practice of the church, concentrated in mental devotion for a short space, the mysterious visitant arose ere any other person stirred; and Nigel remarked that none of the domestics left their places, oreven moved, until she had first kneeled on one knee to Heriot, who seemed to bless her with his hand laid on her head, and a melancholy solemnity of look and action. She then bended her body, but without kneeling, to Mrs. Judith, and having performed these two acts of reverence, she left the room; yet just in the act of her departure, she once more turned her penetrating eyes on Nigel with a fixed look, which compelled him to turn his own aside. When he looked towards her again, he saw only the skirt of her white mantle as she left the apartment.

As soon as this unique woman picked up the prayer book that was on her cushion, she seemed completely absorbed in her prayers. Even though Nigel's focus on the service was disrupted by her striking presence—he looked at her multiple times during the service—he noticed that her eyes and thoughts never wandered even for a moment from her task. Nigel himself struggled to stay focused, as her unusual appearance was so captivating that, despite being raised by his father to pay the utmost respect during divine services, he found his thoughts wandering due to her presence. He eagerly wished the prayers would end so he could satisfy his curiosity. When the service finished and everyone stayed in silent prayer for a bit, the mysterious visitor got up before anyone else moved. Nigel noticed that none of the staff left their spots or even stirred until she first knelt on one knee to Heriot, who seemed to bless her with his hand on her head, wearing a solemn and serious expression. She then leaned her body, but without kneeling, toward Mrs. Judith, and after these two gestures of respect, she left the room. Just as she was departing, she turned her intense gaze on Nigel with a fixed look that made him look away. When he looked at her again, all he saw was the hem of her white mantle as she exited the room.

The domestics then rose and dispersed themselves—wine, and fruit, and spices, were offered to Lord Nigel and to the clergyman, and the latter took his leave. The young lord would fain have accompanied him, in hope to get some explanation of the apparition which he had beheld, but he was stopped by his host, who requested to speak with him in his compting-room.

The staff then got up and moved around—wine, fruit, and spices were offered to Lord Nigel and the clergyman, who soon took his leave. The young lord would have liked to go with him, hoping to get some explanation for the vision he had seen, but he was stopped by his host, who asked to speak with him in his counting room.

“I hope, my lord,” said the citizen, “that your preparations for attending Court are in such forwardness that you can go thither the day after to-morrow. It is, perhaps, the last day, for some time, that his Majesty will hold open Court for all who have pretensions by birth, rank, or office to attend upon him. On the subsequent day he goes to Theobald's, where he is so much occupied with hunting and other pleasures, that he cares not to be intruded on.”

“I hope, my lord,” said the citizen, “that you’re ready to attend Court the day after tomorrow. It might be the last day for a while that his Majesty will hold open Court for everyone who has claims by birth, rank, or position to be there. The day after that, he’s going to Theobald's, where he gets so caught up in hunting and other leisure activities that he doesn’t want to be disturbed.”

“I shall be in all outward readiness to pay my duty,” said the young nobleman, “yet I have little heart to do it. The friends from whom I ought to have found encouragement and protection, have proved cold and false—I certainly will not trouble them for their countenance on this occasion—and yet I must confess my childish unwillingness to enter quite alone upon so new a scene.”

“I’ll be ready to do my duty,” said the young nobleman, “but I don’t really feel like it. The friends I thought would encourage and protect me have turned out to be cold and untrustworthy—I certainly won’t bother them for support this time—and yet I have to admit my childish hesitation to face such a new situation all by myself.”

“It is bold of a mechanic like me to make such an offer to a nobleman,” said Heriot; “but I must attend at Court to-morrow. I can accompany you as far as the presence-chamber, from my privilege as being of the household. I can facilitate your entrance, should you find difficulty, and I can point out the proper manner and time of approaching the king. But I do not know,” he added, smiling, “whether these little advantages will not be overbalanced by the incongruity of a nobleman receiving them from the hands of an old smith.”

“It’s quite bold of a mechanic like me to make such an offer to a nobleman,” said Heriot. “But I have to be at Court tomorrow. I can walk with you as far as the presence-chamber, thanks to my privilege of being part of the household. I can help you get in if you run into any issues, and I can advise you on the right way and time to approach the king. But I’m not sure,” he added with a smile, “if these little perks will be outweighed by the awkwardness of a nobleman accepting them from an old blacksmith.”

“From the hands rather of the only friend I have found in London,” said Nigel, offering his hand.

“From the hands of the only friend I’ve found in London,” said Nigel, extending his hand.

“Nay, if you think of the matter in that way,” replied the honest citizen, “there is no more to be said—I will come for you to-morrow, with a barge proper to the occasion.—But remember, my good young lord, that I do not, like some men of my degree, wish to take opportunity to step beyond it, and associate with my superiors in rank, and therefore do not fear to mortify my presumption, by suffering me to keep my distance in the presence, and where it is fitting for both of us to separate; and for what remains, most truly happy shall I be in proving of service to the son of my ancient patron.”

“No, if you see it that way,” replied the honest citizen, “there’s nothing more to discuss—I’ll come for you tomorrow with an appropriate boat. But remember, my young lord, that I don’t, like some people in my position, want to take advantage of the situation to elevate myself and associate with those of higher rank. So, don’t hesitate to remind me to keep my distance when it’s right for both of us to separate. As for everything else, I’ll be truly happy to be of service to the son of my old patron.”

The style of conversation led so far from the point which had interested the young nobleman's curiosity, that there was no returning to it that night. He therefore exchanged thanks and greetings with George Heriot, and took his leave, promising to be equipped and in readiness to embark with him on the second successive morning at ten o'clock.

The conversation had drifted so far from the topic that had piqued the young nobleman’s interest that there was no going back to it that night. So, he thanked George Heriot, exchanged goodbyes, and took his leave, promising to be prepared and ready to set off with him the next morning at ten o'clock.

The generation of linkboys, celebrated by Count Anthony Hamilton, as peculiar to London, had already, in the reign of James I., begun their functions, and the service of one of them with his smoky torch, had been secured to light the young Scottish lord and his follower to their lodgings, which, though better acquainted than formerly with the city, they might in the dark have run some danger of missing. This gave the ingenious Mr. Moniplies an opportunity of gathering close up to his master, after he had gone through the form of slipping his left arm into the handles of his buckler, and loosening his broadsword in the sheath, that he might be ready for whatever should befall.

The generation of link boys, praised by Count Anthony Hamilton as unique to London, had already started their duties during the reign of James I. One of them, with his smoky torch, had been hired to guide the young Scottish lord and his companion to their lodgings. Even though they were more familiar with the city than before, they could have easily gotten lost in the dark. This situation gave the clever Mr. Moniplies the chance to move closer to his master after he went through the motions of slipping his left arm into the handles of his shield and loosening his broadsword in its sheath, so he would be ready for anything that might happen.

“If it were not for the wine and the good cheer which we have had in yonder old man's house, my lord,” said this sapient follower, “and that I ken him by report to be a just living man in many respects, and a real Edinburgh gutterblood, I should have been well pleased to have seen how his feet were shaped, and whether he had not a cloven cloot under the braw roses and cordovan shoon of his.”

“If it weren't for the wine and the good vibes we've had in that old man's house, my lord,” said this wise follower, “and because I know him by reputation to be a genuinely good man in many ways, and a true Edinburgh local, I would have been very curious to see how his feet were shaped, and whether he had a split hoof under those nice boots of his.”

“Why, you rascal,” answered Nigel, “you have been too kindly treated, and now that you have filled your ravenous stomach, you are railing on the good gentleman that relieved you.”

“Why, you scoundrel,” replied Nigel, “you have been treated too well, and now that you've filled your greedy stomach, you're insulting the good man who helped you.”

“Under favour, no, my lord,” said Moniplies,—“I would only like to see something mair about him. I have eaten his meat, it is true—more shame that the like of him should have meat to give, when your lordship and me could scarce have gotten, on our own account, brose and a bear bannock—I have drunk his wine, too.”

“Honestly, no, my lord,” said Moniplies, “I just want to know more about him. I have eaten his food, and it’s a shame someone like him has food to offer when you and I could hardly manage to get some porridge and a barley scone on our own. I’ve drunk his wine as well.”

“I see you have,” replied his master, “a great deal more than you should have done.”

“I see you have,” replied his master, “a lot more than you should have.”

“Under your patience, my lord,” said Moniplies, “you are pleased to say that, because I crushed a quart with that jolly boy Jenkin, as they call the 'prentice boy, and that was out of mere acknowledgment for his former kindness—I own that I, moreover, sung the good old song of Elsie Marley, so as they never heard it chanted in their lives——”

“Out of your patience, my lord,” said Moniplies, “you say that because I shared a quart with that cheerful guy Jenkin, the 'prentice boy, and that was just to show my gratitude for his earlier kindness—I admit that I also sang the good old song of Elsie Marley, like they’ve never heard it sung before in their lives——”

And withal (as John Bunyan says) as they went on their way, he sung—

And along the way (as John Bunyan says), he sang—

    “O, do ye ken Elsie Marley, honey—
     The wife that sells the barley, honey?
     For Elsie Marley's grown sae fine,
     She winna get up to feed the swine.—
         O, do ye ken——”
 
    “Oh, do you know Elsie Marley, dear—  
     The wife who sells the barley, dear?  
     For Elsie Marley's become so fancy,  
     She won't even get up to feed the pigs.—  
         Oh, do you know——”

Here in mid career was the songster interrupted by the stern gripe of his master, who threatened to baton him to death if he brought the city-watch upon them by his ill-timed melody.

Here in the middle of his career, the singer was interrupted by the harsh grip of his master, who threatened to beat him to death if he attracted the city watch with his poorly timed song.

“I crave pardon, my lord—I humbly crave pardon—only when I think of that Jen Win, as they call him, I can hardly help humming—'O, do ye ken'—But I crave your honour's pardon, and will be totally dumb, if you command me so.”

“I beg your pardon, my lord—I sincerely beg your pardon—whenever I think of that Jen Win, as they call him, I can't help but hum—'O, do you know'—But I beg your honor's pardon, and I will remain completely silent if you order me to.”

“No, sirrah!” said Nigel, “talk on, for I well know you would say and suffer more under pretence of holding your peace, than when you get an unbridled license. How is it, then? What have you to say against Master Heriot?”

“No, you!” said Nigel, “keep talking, because I know you’d complain and suffer more pretending to stay quiet than when you have the freedom to speak freely. So, what’s going on? What do you have to say about Master Heriot?”

It seems more than probable, that in permitting this license, the young lord hoped his attendant would stumble upon the subject of the young lady who had appeared at prayers in a manner so mysterious. But whether this was the case, or whether he merely desired that Moniplies should utter, in a subdued and under tone of voice, those spirits which might otherwise have vented themselves in obstreperous song, it is certain he permitted his attendant to proceed with his story in his own way.

It seems very likely that by allowing this freedom, the young lord hoped his attendant would bring up the topic of the young lady who had shown up at prayers in such a mysterious way. But whether that was his intention, or if he just wanted Moniplies to express, in a quiet and low voice, the thoughts that might otherwise have burst out in loud song, it's clear he let his attendant tell his story in his own manner.

“And therefore,” said the orator, availing himself of his immunity, “I would like to ken what sort of carle this Maister Heriot is. He hath supplied your lordship with wealth of gold, as I can understand; and if he has, I make it for certain he hath had his ain end in it, according to the fashion of the world. Now, had your lordship your own good lands at your guiding, doubtless this person, with most of his craft—goldsmiths they call themselves—I say usurers—wad be glad to exchange so many pounds of African dust, by whilk I understand gold, against so many fair acres, and hundreds of acres, of broad Scottish land.”

“And so,” said the speaker, taking advantage of his immunity, “I’d like to know what kind of guy this Master Heriot is. He’s provided your lordship with a lot of gold, as I understand it; and if he has, I’m certain he had his own reasons for doing so, just like everyone else. Now, if your lordship had your own good lands under your control, this person, with most of his trade—goldsmiths, as they call themselves—I mean usurers—would be eager to exchange a certain amount of African dust, which I understand to mean gold, for a number of fine acres, and hundreds of acres, of valuable Scottish land.”

“But you know I have no land,” said the young lord, “at least none that can be affected by any debt which I can at present become obliged for—I think you need not have reminded me of that.”

“But you know I have no land,” said the young lord, “at least none that can be impacted by any debt I might currently be responsible for—I don't think you needed to remind me of that.”

“True, my lord, most true; and, as your lordship says, open to the meanest capacity, without any unnecessary expositions. Now, therefore, my lord, unless Maister George Heriot has something mair to allege as a motive for his liberality, vera different from the possession of your estate—and moreover, as he could gain little by the capture of your body, wherefore should it not be your soul that he is in pursuit of?”

“That's right, my lord, absolutely true; and just as you said, it's clear to even the simplest person, without any complicated explanations. So, my lord, unless Master George Heriot has something more to suggest as a reason for his generosity, really different from owning your estate—and considering he wouldn't benefit much from capturing you, why shouldn't he be after your soul instead?”

“My soul, you rascal!” said the young lord; “what good should my soul do him?”

“My soul, you troublemaker!” said the young lord; “what good would my soul do for him?”

“What do I ken about that?” said Moniplies; “they go about roaring and seeking whom they may devour—doubtless, they like the food that they rage so much about—and, my lord, they say,” added Moniplies, drawing up still closer to his master's side, “they say that Master Heriot has one spirit in his house already.”

“What do I know about that?” said Moniplies; “they go around roaring and looking for whom they can devour—clearly, they enjoy the food they complain so much about—and, my lord, they say,” added Moniplies, moving even closer to his master's side, “they say that Master Heriot already has one spirit in his house.”

“How, or what do you mean?” said Nigel; “I will break your head, you drunken knave, if you palter with me any longer.”

“How do you mean that?” said Nigel. “I’ll smash your head, you drunken fool, if you mess with me any longer.”

“Drunken?” answered his trusty adherent, “and is this the story?—why, how could I but drink your lordship's health on my bare knees, when Master Jenkin began it to me?—hang them that would not—I would have cut the impudent knave's hams with my broadsword, that should make scruple of it, and so have made him kneel when he should have found it difficult to rise again. But touching the spirit,” he proceeded, finding that his master made no answer to his valorous tirade, “your lordship has seen her with your own eyes.”

“Drunk?” replied his loyal companion. “Is this the story? How could I not drink to your health on my knees, especially when Master Jenkin encouraged me? Anyone who wouldn't, I would’ve slashed the insolent fool's legs with my sword, making him kneel when it would be hard for him to get back up. But about the spirit,” he continued, noticing that his master wasn’t responding to his brave speech, “you’ve seen her with your own eyes.”

“I saw no spirit,” said Glenvarloch, but yet breathing thick as one who expects some singular disclosure, “what mean you by a spirit?”

“I didn't see any spirit,” said Glenvarloch, but still speaking heavily like someone anticipating a unique revelation, “what do you mean by a spirit?”

“You saw a young lady come in to prayers, that spoke not a word to any one, only made becks and bows to the old gentleman and lady of the house—ken ye wha she is?”

“You saw a young woman enter for prayers, who didn’t say a word to anyone, only nodded and bowed to the older gentleman and lady of the house—do you know who she is?”

“No, indeed,” answered Nigel; “some relation of the family, I suppose.”

“No way,” replied Nigel. “Must be some relative of the family, I guess.”

“Deil a bit—deil a bit,” answered Moniplies, hastily, “not a blood-drop's kin to them, if she had a drop of blood in her body—I tell you but what all human beings allege to be truth, that swell within hue and cry of Lombard Street—that lady, or quean, or whatever you choose to call her, has been dead in the body these many a year, though she haunts them, as we have seen, even at their very devotions.”

“Not a chance—definitely not,” Moniplies replied quickly, “not related to them at all, even if she had a drop of blood in her body. I’m just telling you what everyone claims to be true, that resonates with the uproar of Lombard Street—that lady, or whatever you want to call her, has been dead in body for many years, though she still haunts them, as we’ve seen, even during their prayers.”

“You will allow her to be a good spirit at least,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “since she chooses such a time to visit her friends?”

“You're going to let her be a good spirit at least,” said Nigel Olifaunt, “since she decides to visit her friends at such a time?”

“For that I kenna, my lord,” answered the superstitious follower; “I ken no spirit that would have faced the right down hammer-blow of Mess John Knox, whom my father stood by in his very warst days, bating a chance time when the Court, which my father supplied with butcher-meat, was against him. But yon divine has another airt from powerful Master Rollock, and Mess David Black, of North Leith, and sic like.—Alack-a-day! wha can ken, if it please your lordship, whether sic prayers as the Southron read out of their auld blethering black mess-book there, may not be as powerful to invite fiends, as a right red-het prayer warm fraw the heart, may be powerful to drive them away, even as the Evil Spirit was driven by he smell of the fish's liver from the bridal-chamber of Sara, the daughter of Raguel? As to whilk story, nevertheless, I make scruple to say whether it be truth or not, better men than I am having doubted on that matter.”

“For that I don’t know, my lord,” the superstitious follower replied; “I don’t know any spirit that would have faced the direct hammer-blow of Mr. John Knox, whom my father supported in his very worst days, except for a time when the Court, which my father supplied with butcher-meat, was against him. But that divine has a different approach from powerful Master Rollock, and Mr. David Black from North Leith, and others like them. Oh dear! who can know, if it pleases your lordship, whether the prayers that the Southerners read from their old rambling black mass book may not be just as powerful in summoning demons, as a heartfelt red-hot prayer may be powerful in driving them away, just like the Evil Spirit was driven away by the smell of the fish's liver from the bridal chamber of Sara, the daughter of Raguel? As for that story, however, I hesitate to say whether it is true or not, as better men than I have doubted that matter.”

“Well, well, well,” said his master, impatiently, “we are now near home, and I have permitted you to speak of this matter for once, that we may have an end to your prying folly, and your idiotical superstitions, for ever. For whom do you, or your absurd authors or informers, take this lady?”

“Well, well, well,” said his master, impatiently, “we're almost home now, and I’ve allowed you to talk about this once so we can finally put an end to your snooping nonsense and your ridiculous superstitions. Who do you or your absurd sources think this lady is?”

“I can sae naething preceesely as to that,” answered Moniplies; “certain it is her body died and was laid in the grave many a day since, notwithstanding she still wanders on earth, and chiefly amongst Maister Heriot's family, though she hath been seen in other places by them that well knew her. But who she is, I will not warrant to say, or how she becomes attached, like a Highland Brownie, to some peculiar family. They say she has a row of apartments of her own, ante-room, parlour, and bedroom; but deil a bed she sleeps in but her own coffin, and the walls, doors, and windows are so chinked up, as to prevent the least blink of daylight from entering; and then she dwells by torchlight—”

“I can't say anything specific about that,” Moniplies replied; “it's certain her body died and was buried a long time ago, yet she still roams the earth, mostly among Master Heriot's family, although others who knew her have seen her in different places too. But I can’t say who she is, or why she’s attached to a certain family like a Highland Brownie. They say she has her own set of rooms—a waiting room, a parlor, and a bedroom—but she doesn't sleep in any bed except her own coffin, and the walls, doors, and windows are so sealed up that not a hint of daylight can get in; and so she lives by torchlight—”

“To what purpose, if she be a spirit?” said Nigel Olifaunt.

“To what purpose, if she’s a spirit?” said Nigel Olifaunt.

“How can I tell your lordship?” answered his attendant. “I thank God I know nothing of her likings, or mislikings—only her coffin is there; and I leave your lordship to guess what a live person has to do with a coffin. As little as a ghost with a lantern, I trow.”

“How can I explain to you, my lord?” replied his attendant. “I’m thankful I know nothing about her preferences or dislikes—only her coffin is over there; and I’ll let you figure out what a living person has to do with a coffin. Just as little as a ghost with a lantern, I suppose.”

“What reason,” repeated Nigel, “can a creature, so young and so beautiful, have already habitually to contemplate her bed of last-long rest?”

“What reason,” Nigel repeated, “can someone so young and beautiful have to constantly think about her final resting place?”

“In troth, I kenna, my lord,” answered Moniplies; “but there is the coffin, as they told me who have seen it: it is made of heben-wood, with silver nails, and lined all through with three-piled damask, might serve a princess to rest in.”

“In truth, I don’t know, my lord,” Moniplies replied; “but there’s the coffin, as those who have seen it told me: it’s made of ebony, with silver nails, and lined all through with triple-layered damask—fit for a princess to rest in.”

“Singular,” said Nigel, whose brain, like that of most active young spirits, was easily caught by the singular and the romantic; “does she not eat with the family?”

“Unique,” said Nigel, whose mind, like many energetic young people, was easily fascinated by the unusual and the romantic; “does she not dine with the family?”

“Who!—she!”—exclaimed Moniplies, as if surprised at the question; “they would need a lang spoon would sup with her, I trow. Always there is something put for her into the Tower, as they call it, whilk is a whigmaleery of a whirling-box, that turns round half on the tae side o' the wa', half on the tother.”

“Who!—she!” exclaimed Moniplies, as if surprised by the question. “You’d need a long spoon to eat with her, I guess. There’s always something sent to her in the Tower, as they call it, which is a strange contraption that turns halfway against the wall, halfway on the other side.”

“I have seen the contrivance in foreign nunneries,” said the Lord of Glenvarloch. “And is it thus she receives her food?”

“I've seen this device in foreign convents,” said the Lord of Glenvarloch. “Is this how she gets her food?”

“They tell me something is put in ilka day, for fashion's sake,” replied the attendant; “but it's no to be supposed she would consume it, ony mair than the images of Bel and the Dragon consumed the dainty vivers that were placed before them. There are stout yeomen and chamber-queans in the house, enow to play the part of Lick-it-up-a', as well as the threescore and ten priests of Bel, besides their wives and children.”

“They tell me something is put in every day, just for show,” replied the attendant; “but it’s not to be expected that she would actually eat it, any more than the statues of Bel and the Dragon ate the fancy dishes that were set in front of them. There are plenty of strong men and chambermaids in the house, enough to play the role of Lick-it-up-all, along with the seventy priests of Bel, plus their wives and children.”

“And she is never seen in the family but when the hour of prayer arrives?” said the master.

“And she only shows up in the family when it’s time to pray?” said the master.

“Never, that I hear of,” replied the servant.

"Not that I've heard," replied the servant.

“It is singular,” said Nigel Olifaunt, musing. “Were it not for the ornaments which she wears, and still more for her attendance upon the service of the Protestant Church, I should know what to think, and should believe her either a Catholic votaress, who, for some cogent reason, was allowed to make her cell here in London, or some unhappy Popish devotee, who was in the course of undergoing a dreadful penance. As it is, I know not what to deem of it.”

“It’s strange,” said Nigel Olifaunt, thinking out loud. “If it weren’t for the jewelry she wears, and especially for her attending the Protestant Church services, I would know what to think and would believe she was either a Catholic nun who, for some compelling reason, was allowed to have her cell here in London, or some unfortunate Catholic devotee who was enduring a terrible penance. As it stands, I don’t know what to make of it.”

His reverie was interrupted by the linkboy knocking at the door of honest John Christie, whose wife came forth with “quips, and becks, and wreathed smiles,” to welcome her honoured guest on his return to his apartment.

His daydream was interrupted by the linkboy knocking at the door of honest John Christie, whose wife came out with “quips, and gestures, and smiling smiles,” to welcome her esteemed guest upon his return to his apartment.










CHAPTER VIII

  Ay! mark the matron well—and laugh not, Harry,
  At her old steeple-hat and velvet guard—
  I've call'd her like the ear of Dionysius;
  I mean that ear-form'd vault, built o'er his dungeon,
  To catch the groans and discontented murmurs
  Of his poor bondsmen—Even so doth Martha
  Drink up, for her own purpose, all that passes,
  Or is supposed to pass, in this wide city—
  She can retail it too, if that her profit
  Shall call on her to do so; and retail it
  For your advantage, so that you can make
  Your profit jump with hers.
                            The Conspiracy.
  Hey! Pay attention to the lady and don't laugh, Harry,  
  at her old steeple hat and velvet guard—  
  I’ve compared her to the ear of Dionysius;  
  I mean that ear-shaped vault built over his prison,  
  to catch the groans and discontented murmurs  
  of his unfortunate captives—Just like that, Martha  
  absorbs everything for her own agenda,  
  or what’s believed to happen in this vast city—  
  She can share it too, if there’s a profit  
  for her to do so; and she can share it  
  for your benefit, so that your profits can align with hers.  
                            The Conspiracy.

We must now introduce to the reader's acquaintance another character, busy and important far beyond her ostensible situation in society—in a word, Dame Ursula Suddlechop, wife of Benjamin Suddlechop, the most renowned barber in all Fleet Street. This dame had her own particular merits, the principal part of which was (if her own report could be trusted) an infinite desire to be of service to her fellow-creatures. Leaving to her thin half-starved partner the boast of having the most dexterous snap with his fingers of any shaver in London, and the care of a shop where starved apprentices flayed the faces of those who were boobies enough to trust them, the dame drove a separate and more lucrative trade, which yet had so many odd turns and windings, that it seemed in many respects to contradict itself.

We now need to introduce another character, who is busy and important far beyond her apparent place in society—in short, Dame Ursula Suddlechop, wife of Benjamin Suddlechop, the most famous barber on Fleet Street. This woman had her own valuable qualities, the main one being (if you could trust her own account) an endless desire to help her fellow humans. She left her thin, half-starved husband to take pride in having the quickest snap of his fingers of any barber in London, as well as managing a shop where starving apprentices struggled to shave the faces of those foolish enough to trust them. Meanwhile, the dame ran a separate and more profitable business, which had so many peculiar turns and twists that it often seemed to contradict itself.

Its highest and most important duties were of a very secret and confidential nature, and Dame Ursula Suddlechop was never known to betray any transaction intrusted to her, unless she had either been indifferently paid for her service, or that some one found it convenient to give her a double douceur to make her disgorge the secret; and these contingencies happened in so few cases, that her character for trustiness remained as unimpeached as that for honesty and benevolence.

Its highest and most important duties were very secret and confidential, and Dame Ursula Suddlechop was never known to spill any details of the transactions entrusted to her, unless she felt she was poorly compensated for her work, or someone found it convenient to give her a generous tip to reveal the secret; and these situations occurred so rarely that her reputation for reliability remained as unblemished as her reputation for honesty and kindness.

In fact, she was a most admirable matron, and could be useful to the impassioned and the frail in the rise, progress, and consequences of their passion. She could contrive an interview for lovers who could show proper reasons for meeting privately; she could relieve the frail fair one of the burden of a guilty passion, and perhaps establish the hopeful offspring of unlicensed love as the heir of some family whose love was lawful, but where an heir had not followed the union. More than this she could do, and had been concerned in deeper and dearer secrets. She had been a pupil of Mrs. Turner, and learned from her the secret of making the yellow starch, and, it may be, two or three other secrets of more consequence, though perhaps none that went to the criminal extent of those whereof her mistress was accused. But all that was deep and dark in her real character was covered by the show of outward mirth and good-humour, the hearty laugh and buxom jest with which the dame knew well how to conciliate the elder part of her neighbours, and the many petty arts by which she could recommend herself to the younger, those especially of her own sex.

She was truly an admirable woman and could help both the passionate and the vulnerable with their feelings and the outcomes they faced. She could arrange secret meetings for couples who had valid reasons to meet privately; she could ease the burden of guilt for the frail lover, and maybe even secure a future for the child of forbidden love as the heir to a family that had lawful love but no heir from that union. She could do even more than this and was involved in deeper and more personal secrets. She had been taught by Mrs. Turner, who showed her how to make yellow starch, and perhaps a few other important secrets, though none as severe as the accusations against her mentor. Yet, the darker aspects of her true nature were masked by her cheerful demeanor and good humor, the hearty laughs and playful jokes she used to charm the older members of her community, as well as the various little tricks that endeared her to the younger ones, especially other women.

Dame Ursula was, in appearance, scarce past forty, and her full, but not overgrown form, and still comely features, although her person was plumped out, and her face somewhat coloured by good cheer, had a joyous expression of gaiety and good-humour, which set off the remains of beauty in the wane. Marriages, births, and christenings were seldom thought to be performed with sufficient ceremony, for a considerable distance round her abode, unless Dame Ursley, as they called her, was present. She could contrive all sorts of pastimes, games, and jests, which might amuse the large companies which the hospitality of our ancestors assembled together on such occasions, so that her presence was literally considered as indispensable in the families of all citizens of ordinary rank, at such joyous periods. So much also was she supposed to know of life and its labyrinths, that she was the willing confidant of half the loving couples in the vicinity, most of whom used to communicate their secrets to, and receive their counsel from, Dame Ursley. The rich rewarded her services with rings, owches, or gold pieces, which she liked still better; and she very generously gave her assistance to the poor, on the same mixed principles as young practitioners in medicine assist them, partly from compassion, and partly to keep her hand in use.

Dame Ursula looked barely over forty, with a full yet not overly large figure and still attractive features. Even though she was a bit plump and her face showed the effects of enjoying life, her cheerful expression radiated joy and good humor, highlighting the remnants of her fading beauty. Marriages, births, and christenings were rarely considered properly celebrated in the area around her home unless Dame Ursula, as she was commonly called, was there. She had a talent for creating all kinds of fun, games, and jokes that entertained the large gatherings that our ancestors hosted for these occasions, making her presence truly essential for ordinary families during these festive times. She was also believed to have deep insights into life and its complexities, making her the go-to confidant for half the couples in the area, who often shared their secrets with her and sought her advice. Wealthy people showed their appreciation for her help with rings, brooches, or gold coins, which she preferred even more; she generously assisted the less fortunate on the same mixed basis as young doctors do, partly out of compassion and partly to keep her skills sharp.

Dame Ursley's reputation in the city was the greater that her practice had extended beyond Temple Bar, and that she had acquaintances, nay, patrons and patronesses, among the quality, whose rank, as their members were much fewer, and the prospect of approaching the courtly sphere much more difficult, bore a degree of consequence unknown to the present day, when the toe of the citizen presses so close on the courtier's heel. Dame Ursley maintained her intercourse with this superior rank of customers, partly by driving a small trade in perfumes, essences, pomades, head-gears from France, dishes or ornaments from China, then already beginning to be fashionable; not to mention drugs of various descriptions, chiefly for the use of the ladies, and partly by other services, more or less connected with the esoteric branches of her profession heretofore alluded to.

Dame Ursley's reputation in the city was boosted because her business expanded beyond Temple Bar, and she had connections, even patrons and patrons, among the elite, whose ranks were much smaller, making access to high society much more challenging. This created a level of importance that isn't seen today when the common citizen is so close to the aristocracy. Dame Ursley kept up her relationships with these upper-class customers, partly by selling perfumes, scents, hair products from France, plates or decorations from China, which were just starting to become trendy, not to mention various medicines, mainly for women, and partly by offering other services related to the more specialized aspects of her trade mentioned earlier.

Possessing such and so many various modes of thriving, Dame Ursley was nevertheless so poor, that she might probably have mended her own circumstances, as well as her husband's, if she had renounced them all, and set herself quietly down to the care of her own household, and to assist Benjamin in the concerns of his trade. But Ursula was luxurious and genial in her habits, and could no more have endured the stinted economy of Benjamin's board, than she could have reconciled herself to the bald chat of his conversation.

Having so many different ways to succeed, Dame Ursley was still so poor that she might have improved her situation, as well as her husband's, if she had given them all up and focused on managing her household and helping Benjamin with his business. But Ursula was indulgent and sociable in her ways, and she couldn’t endure the limited budget of Benjamin's meals any more than she could tolerate his dull conversations.

It was on the evening of the day on which Lord Nigel Olifaunt dined with the wealthy goldsmith, that we must introduce Ursula Suddlechop upon the stage. She had that morning made a long tour to Westminster, was fatigued, and had assumed a certain large elbow-chair, rendered smooth by frequent use, placed on one side of her chimney, in which there was lit a small but bright fire. Here she observed, betwixt sleeping and waking, the simmering of a pot of well-spiced ale, on the brown surface of which bobbed a small crab-apple, sufficiently roasted, while a little mulatto girl watched, still more attentively, the process of dressing a veal sweetbread, in a silver stewpan which occupied the other side of the chimney. With these viands, doubtless, Dame Ursula proposed concluding the well spent day, of which she reckoned the labour over, and the rest at her own command. She was deceived, however; for just as the ale, or, to speak technically, the lamb's-wool, was fitted for drinking, and the little dingy maiden intimated that the sweetbread was ready to be eaten, the thin cracked voice of Benjamin was heard from the bottom of the stairs.

It was on the evening of the day that Lord Nigel Olifaunt had dinner with the wealthy goldsmith that we need to introduce Ursula Suddlechop on stage. She had taken a long trip to Westminster that morning, was tired, and had settled into a large, smooth armchair that had seen a lot of use, placed by her fireplace, where a small but bright fire was lit. Here, she noticed, caught between sleeping and waking, a pot of well-spiced ale simmering, with a small crab-apple bobbing on the brown surface, nicely roasted. Meanwhile, a little girl of mixed descent watched even more intently as she prepared a veal sweetbread in a silver saucepan on the other side of the hearth. With these dishes, Ursula planned to end her well-spent day, feeling that the hard work was done and now was her time to relax. However, she was mistaken; just as the ale, or technically speaking, the lamb's-wool, was ready to drink and the little girl signaled that the sweetbread was ready to eat, they heard Benjamin's thin, cracked voice from the bottom of the stairs.

“Why, Dame Ursley—why, wife, I say—why, dame—why, love, you are wanted more than a strop for a blunt razor—why, dame—”

“Why, Dame Ursley—why, wife, I say—why, love, you’re needed more than a strop for a dull razor—why, dame—”

“I would some one would draw a razor across thy windpipe, thou bawling ass!” said the dame to herself, in the first moment of irritation against her clamorous helpmate; and then called aloud,—“Why, what is the matter, Master Suddlechop? I am just going to slip into bed; I have been daggled to and fro the whole day.”

“I wish someone would cut your throat, you loudmouth!” the woman said to herself, feeling irritated with her noisy partner; then she called out, “What’s wrong, Master Suddlechop? I’m just about to get into bed; I’ve been running around all day.”

“Nay, sweetheart, it is not me,” said the patient Benjamin, “but the Scots laundry-maid from neighbour Ramsay's, who must speak with you incontinent.”

“Nah, sweetheart, it’s not me,” said the patient Benjamin, “but the Scottish laundry maid from neighbor Ramsay’s who needs to talk to you urgently.”

At the word sweetheart, Dame Ursley cast a wistful look at the mess which was stewed to a second in the stewpan, and then replied, with a sigh,—“Bid Scots Jenny come up, Master Suddlechop. I shall be very happy to hear what she has to say;” then added in a lower tone, “and I hope she will go to the devil in the flame of a tar-barrel, like many a Scots witch before her!”

At the word "sweetheart," Dame Ursley gave a longing glance at the mess cooking in the stewpan and then replied with a sigh, “Have Scots Jenny come up, Master Suddlechop. I’d love to hear what she has to say;” then added in a quieter tone, “and I hope she meets a fiery end like many Scots witches before her!”

The Scots laundress entered accordingly, and having heard nothing of the last kind wish of Dame Suddlechop, made her reverence with considerable respect, and said, her young mistress had returned home unwell, and wished to see her neighbour, Dame Ursley, directly.

The Scottish laundress came in as expected, and since she hadn’t heard about Dame Suddlechop’s recent kind thoughts, she showed a lot of respect as she greeted everyone. She said that her young mistress had come home feeling unwell and wanted to see her neighbor, Dame Ursley, right away.

“And why will it not do to-morrow, Jenny, my good woman?” said Dame Ursley; “for I have been as far as Whitehall to-day already, and I am well-nigh worn off my feet, my good woman.”

“And why can’t it be done tomorrow, Jenny, my good woman?” said Dame Ursley; “because I’ve already been as far as Whitehall today, and I’m nearly worn out, my good woman.”

“Aweel!” answered Jenny, with great composure, “and if that sae be sae, I maun take the langer tramp mysell, and maun gae down the waterside for auld Mother Redcap, at the Hungerford Stairs, that deals in comforting young creatures, e'en as you do yoursell, hinny; for ane o' ye the bairn maun see before she sleeps, and that's a' that I ken on't.”

“Awell!” Jenny replied calmly, “and if that’s how it is, I’ll have to take a longer walk myself, and I’ll go down to the riverside for old Mother Redcap at Hungerford Stairs, who takes care of young ones just like you do, honey; because your child needs to see one of you before she sleeps, and that’s all I know about it.”

So saying, the old emissary, without farther entreaty, turned on her heel, and was about to retreat, when Dame Ursley exclaimed,—“No, no—if the sweet child, your mistress, has any necessary occasion for good advice and kind tendance, you need not go to Mother Redcap, Janet. She may do very well for skippers' wives, chandlers' daughters, and such like; but nobody shall wait on pretty Mistress Margaret, the daughter of his most Sacred Majesty's horologer, excepting and saving myself. And so I will but take my chopins and my cloak, and put on my muffler, and cross the street to neighbour Ramsay's in an instant. But tell me yourself, good Jenny, are you not something tired of your young lady's frolics and change of mind twenty times a-day?”

So saying, the old messenger, without any more pleading, turned on her heel and was about to leave when Dame Ursley exclaimed, “No, no—if the sweet child, your mistress, needs good advice and kind care, you don’t have to go to Mother Redcap, Janet. She might be fine for skippers' wives, chandlers' daughters, and the like, but no one should attend to pretty Mistress Margaret, the daughter of his most Sacred Majesty's clockmaker, except for me. So I’ll just grab my bowls and my cloak, put on my scarf, and head over to neighbor Ramsay's in a moment. But tell me, good Jenny, aren’t you a little tired of your young lady’s antics and changing her mind twenty times a day?”

“In troth, not I,” said the patient drudge, “unless it may be when she is a wee fashious about washing her laces; but I have been her keeper since she was a bairn, neighbour Suddlechop, and that makes a difference.”

“In truth, not me,” said the patient worker, “unless it’s when she’s a bit fussy about washing her laces; but I have been her caretaker since she was a child, neighbor Suddlechop, and that makes a difference.”

“Ay,” said Dame Ursley, still busied putting on additional defences against the night air; “and you know for certain that she has two hundred pounds a-year in good land, at her own free disposal?”

“Ay,” said Dame Ursley, still busy adding more layers against the night air; “and you know for sure that she has two hundred pounds a year from good land, at her own free disposal?”

“Left by her grandmother, heaven rest her soul!” said the Scotswoman; “and to a daintier lassie she could not have bequeathed it.”

“Left to her by her grandmother, may she rest in peace!” said the Scotswoman; “and to a sweeter girl she couldn't have passed it down.”

“Very true, very true, mistress; for, with all her little whims, I have always said Mistress Margaret Ramsay was the prettiest girl in the ward; and, Jenny, I warrant the poor child has had no supper?”

“Very true, very true, miss; for, with all her little quirks, I have always said Miss Margaret Ramsay was the prettiest girl in the neighborhood; and, Jenny, I bet the poor girl hasn’t had any dinner?”

Jenny could not say but it was the case, for, her master being out, the twa 'prentice lads had gone out after shutting shop, to fetch them home, and she and the other maid had gone out to Sandy MacGivan's, to see a friend frae Scotland.

Jenny couldn't help but think it was true because, with her boss out, the two apprentice lads had left after closing shop to fetch them home. She and the other maid had gone out to Sandy MacGivan's to visit a friend from Scotland.

“As was very natural, Mrs. Janet,” said Dame Ursley, who found her interest in assenting to all sorts of propositions from all sorts of persons.

“As was very natural, Mrs. Janet,” said Dame Ursley, who enjoyed agreeing with all kinds of proposals from all sorts of people.

“And so the fire went out, too,”—said Jenny.

“And so the fire went out, too,” Jenny said.

“Which was the most natural of the whole,” said Dame Suddlechop; “and so, to cut the matter short, Jenny, I'll carry over the little bit of supper that I was going to eat. For dinner I have tasted none, and it may be my young pretty Mistress Marget will eat a morsel with me; for it is mere emptiness, Mistress Jenny, that often puts these fancies of illness into young folk's heads.” So saying, she put the silver posset-cup with the ale into Jenny's hands and assuming her mantle with the alacrity of one determined to sacrifice inclination to duty, she hid the stewpan under its folds, and commanded Wilsa, the little mulatto girl, to light them across the street.

“Which was the most natural of the whole,” said Dame Suddlechop; “and so, to get straight to the point, Jenny, I'm going to take the little bit of supper that I was planning to eat. I haven't had any dinner, and maybe my young pretty Mistress Marget will have a bite with me; because it's just hunger, Mistress Jenny, that often leads young people to think they're unwell.” With that, she placed the silver posset-cup filled with ale into Jenny's hands and, with the eagerness of someone who is determined to prioritize duty over desire, she tucked the stewpan under her mantle and instructed Wilsa, the little mulatto girl, to light their way across the street.

“Whither away, so late?” said the barber, whom they passed seated with his starveling boys round a mess of stockfish and parsnips, in the shop below.

“Where are you going, so late?” said the barber, whom they passed sitting with his skinny boys around a bowl of stockfish and parsnips in the shop below.

“If I were to tell you, Gaffer,” said the dame, with most contemptuous coolness, “I do not think you could do my errand, so I will e'en keep it to myself.” Benjamin was too much accustomed to his wife's independent mode of conduct, to pursue his inquiry farther; nor did the dame tarry for farther question, but marched out at the door, telling the eldest of the boys “to sit up till her return, and look to the house the whilst.”

“If I were to tell you, Gaffer,” the woman said with a dismissive calmness, “I don't think you could handle my errand, so I'll just keep it to myself.” Benjamin was too used to his wife's independent way of doing things to press his question any further; neither did the woman stay for more questions but marched out the door, telling the oldest of the boys “to stay up until she got back, and keep an eye on the house in the meantime.”

The night was dark and rainy, and although the distance betwixt the two shops was short, it allowed Dame Ursley leisure enough, while she strode along with high-tucked petticoats, to embitter it by the following grumbling reflections—“I wonder what I have done, that I must needs trudge at every old beldam's bidding, and every young minx's maggot! I have been marched from Temple Bar to Whitechapel, on the matter of a pinmaker's wife having pricked her fingers—marry, her husband that made the weapon might have salved the wound.—And here is this fantastic ape, pretty Mistress Marget, forsooth—such a beauty as I could make of a Dutch doll, and as fantastic, and humorous, and conceited, as if she were a duchess. I have seen her in the same day as changeful as a marmozet and as stubborn as a mule. I should like to know whether her little conceited noddle, or her father's old crazy calculating jolter-pate, breeds most whimsies. But then there's that two hundred pounds a-year in dirty land, and the father is held a close chuff, though a fanciful—he is our landlord besides, and she has begged a late day from him for our rent; so, God help me, I must be comfortable—besides, the little capricious devil is my only key to get at Master George Heriot's secret, and it concerns my character to find that out; and so, ANDIAMOS, as the lingua franca hath it.”

The night was dark and rainy, and even though the distance between the two shops was short, it gave Dame Ursley enough time, as she walked with her petticoats raised, to stew in the following grumbling thoughts—“I wonder what I’ve done that I have to trudge at every old hag's command and every young brat's whim! I’ve been marched from Temple Bar to Whitechapel over a pinmaker's wife pricking her fingers—well, her husband who made the tool could have fixed that. And here’s this silly girl, pretty Mistress Marget, really—someone I could turn into a Dutch doll, as wild and self-important as if she were a duchess. I’ve seen her change more in a single day than a monkey and be as stubborn as a mule. I’d like to know whether her little conceited head, or her father's old crazy, calculating mind, comes up with more nonsense. But then there’s that two hundred pounds a year in lousy land, and the father is known to be stingy, even if he is a dreamer—he’s also our landlord, and she has asked him for an extension on our rent; so, God help me, I have to play nice—plus, the little unpredictable pest is my only way to get to Master George Heriot's secret, which really affects my reputation; so, ANDIAMOS, as they say in the lingua franca.”

Thus pondering, she moved forward with hasty strides until she arrived at the watchmaker's habitation. The attendant admitted them by means of a pass-key. Onward glided Dame Ursula, now in glimmer and now in gloom, not like the lovely Lady Cristabelle through Gothic sculpture and ancient armour, but creeping and stumbling amongst relics of old machines, and models of new inventions in various branches of mechanics with which wrecks of useless ingenuity, either in a broken or half-finished shape, the apartment of the fanciful though ingenious mechanist was continually lumbered.

Thus thinking, she moved quickly until she reached the watchmaker's place. The attendant let them in with a passkey. Dame Ursula glided forward, sometimes in light and sometimes in shadow, not like the beautiful Lady Cristabelle among Gothic sculptures and ancient armor, but navigating carefully among old machines and half-finished models of new inventions. The apartment of the clever but whimsical mechanic was always cluttered with remnants of useless creativity, either broken or incomplete.

At length they attained, by a very narrow staircase, pretty Mistress Margaret's apartment, where she, the cynosure of the eyes of every bold young bachelor in Fleet Street, sat in a posture which hovered between the discontented and the disconsolate. For her pretty back and shoulders were rounded into a curve, her round and dimpled chin reposed in the hollow of her little palm, while the fingers were folded over her mouth; her elbow rested on a table, and her eyes seemed fixed upon the dying charcoal, which was expiring in a small grate. She scarce turned her head when Dame Ursula entered, and when the presence of that estimable matron was more precisely announced in words by the old Scotswoman, Mistress Margaret, without changing her posture, muttered some sort of answer that was wholly unintelligible.

At last, they reached pretty Mistress Margaret's apartment by a very narrow staircase, where she, the center of attention for every bold young bachelor in Fleet Street, sat in a position that balanced between being upset and forlorn. Her pretty back and shoulders arched gracefully, her round and dimpled chin rested in the hollow of her little palm, while her fingers were curled over her mouth; her elbow rested on a table, and her eyes seemed locked on the fading charcoal in a small grate. She barely turned her head when Dame Ursula entered, and when the presence of that respected matron was more clearly acknowledged by the old Scotswoman, Mistress Margaret, without changing her position, muttered something that was completely unclear.

“Go your ways down to the kitchen with Wilsa, good Mistress Jenny,” said Dame Ursula, who was used to all sorts of freaks, on the part of her patients or clients, whichever they might be termed; “put the stewpan and the porringer by the fireside, and go down below—I must speak to my pretty love, Mistress Margaret, by myself—and there is not a bachelor betwixt this and Bow but will envy me the privilege.”

“Go on into the kitchen with Wilsa, dear Mistress Jenny,” said Dame Ursula, who was accustomed to all sorts of quirks from her patients or clients, however you want to call them; “set the stewpan and the porringer by the fireplace, and go downstairs—I need to talk to my lovely Mistress Margaret alone—and every bachelor from here to Bow will envy me that privilege.”

The attendants retired as directed, and Dame Ursula, having availed herself of the embers of charcoal, to place her stewpan to the best advantage, drew herself as close as she could to her patient, and began in a low, soothing, and confidential tone of voice, to inquire what ailed her pretty flower of neighbours.

The attendants left as instructed, and Dame Ursula, having taken advantage of the charcoal embers to position her stewpan optimally, moved as close as she could to her patient. She began in a low, soothing, and friendly tone to ask what was bothering her dear neighbor.

“Nothing, dame,” said Margaret somewhat pettishly, and changing her posture so as rather to turn her back upon the kind inquirer.

“Nothing, ma'am,” said Margaret a bit irritably, turning slightly to show her back to the concerned questioner.

“Nothing, lady-bird!” answered Dame Suddlechop; “and do you use to send for your friends out of bed at this hour for nothing?”

“Nothing, ladybug!” replied Dame Suddlechop; “and do you usually call your friends out of bed at this hour for nothing?”

“It was not I who sent for you, dame,” replied the malecontent maiden.

“It wasn’t me who called for you, lady,” replied the unhappy young woman.

“And who was it, then?” said Ursula; “for if I had not been sent for, I had not been here at this time of night, I promise you!”

“And who was it, then?” Ursula asked. “Because if I hadn't been called, I wouldn't be here at this time of night, I promise you!”

“It was the old Scotch fool Jenny, who did it out of her own head, I suppose,” said Margaret; “for she has been stunning me these two hours about you and Mother Redcap.”

“It was that old Scottish fool Jenny who probably did it on her own,” said Margaret, “because she has been going on for two hours about you and Mother Redcap.”

“Me and Mother Redcap!” said Dame Ursula, “an old fool indeed, that couples folk up so.—But come, come, my sweet little neighbour, Jenny is no such fool after all; she knows young folks want more and better advice than her own, and she knows, too, where to find it for them; so you must take heart of grace, my pretty maiden, and tell me what you are moping about, and then let Dame Ursula alone for finding out a cure.”

“Me and Mother Redcap!” said Dame Ursula, “an old fool indeed, that brings people together like that. But come on, my sweet little neighbor, Jenny isn’t really a fool after all; she knows young folks need more and better advice than she can give, and she also knows where to find it for them. So you should cheer up, my pretty girl, and tell me what’s got you down, and then let Dame Ursula handle finding a solution.”

“Nay, an ye be so wise, Mother Ursula,” replied the girl, “you may guess what I ail without my telling you.”

“Nah, if you're so wise, Mother Ursula,” the girl replied, “you can probably figure out what's wrong with me without me telling you.”

“Ay, ay, child,” answered the complaisant matron, “no one can play better than I at the good old game of What is my thought like? Now I'll warrant that little head of yours is running on a new head-tire, a foot higher than those our city dames wear—or you are all for a trip to Islington or Ware, and your father is cross and will not consent—or——”

“Ay, ay, child,” replied the accommodating woman, “no one plays the classic game of What is my thought like? better than I do. Now I bet that little head of yours is thinking about a new hat, one that’s a foot taller than what our city ladies wear—or maybe you’re all for a trip to Islington or Ware, and your dad is grumpy and won’t agree—or——”

“Or you are an old fool, Dame Suddlechop,” said Margaret, peevishly, “and must needs trouble yourself about matters you know nothing of.”

“Or you’re just an old fool, Dame Suddlechop,” said Margaret, irritably, “and you really should stop worrying about things you know nothing about.”

“Fool as much as you will, mistress,” said Dame Ursula, offended in her turn, “but not so very many years older than yourself, mistress.”

“Go ahead and be foolish as much as you want, miss,” Dame Ursula replied, feeling offended in return, “but I’m not that many years older than you, miss.”

“Oh! we are angry, are we?” said the beauty; “and pray, Madam Ursula, how come you, that are not so many years older than me, to talk about such nonsense to me, who am so many years younger, and who yet have too much sense to care about head-gears and Islington?”

“Oh! Are we angry, then?” said the beauty. “And tell me, Madam Ursula, how is it that you, who aren't that many years older than me, can talk to someone so much younger about such nonsense? I have too much sense to care about headpieces and Islington!”

“Well, well, young mistress,” said the sage counsellor, rising, “I perceive I can be of no use here; and methinks, since you know your own matters so much better than other people do, you might dispense with disturbing folks at midnight to ask their advice.”

“Well, well, young lady,” said the wise counselor, getting up, “I see I can't help here; and it seems that since you understand your own issues so much better than others do, you might not need to wake people up at midnight to ask for their advice.”

“Why, now you are angry, mother,” said Margaret, detaining her; “this comes of your coming out at eventide without eating your supper—I never heard you utter a cross word after you had finished your little morsel.—Here, Janet, a trencher and salt for Dame Ursula;—and what have you in that porringer, dame?—Filthy clammy ale, as I would live—Let Janet fling it out of the window, or keep it for my father's morning draught; and she shall bring you the pottle of sack that was set ready for him—good man, he will never find out the difference, for ale will wash down his dusty calculations quite as well as wine.”

“Why are you angry now, Mom?” Margaret asked, stopping her. “This is what happens when you go out in the evening without having dinner—I’ve never heard you say anything rude after you’ve had your little bite. —Here, Janet, get a plate and some salt for Dame Ursula; —and what do you have in that bowl, ma’am? —That disgusting, sticky ale, as long as I live—Let Janet toss it out the window, or save it for my dad’s morning drink; and she can bring you the bottle of sack that was set aside for him—good man, he’ll never notice the difference, because ale will wash down his dusty calculations just as well as wine.”

“Truly, sweetheart, I am of your opinion,” said Dame Ursula, whose temporary displeasure vanished at once before these preparations for good cheer; and so, settling herself on the great easy-chair, with a three-legged table before her, she began to dispatch, with good appetite, the little delicate dish which she had prepared for herself. She did not, however, fail in the duties of civility, and earnestly, but in vain, pressed Mistress Margaret to partake her dainties. The damsel declined the invitation.

“Honestly, sweetheart, I agree with you,” said Dame Ursula, whose brief annoyance disappeared immediately in the face of these cheerful preparations. Settling into the large armchair with a small three-legged table in front of her, she started to enjoy the little fancy dish she had made for herself. However, she didn’t neglect her manners and earnestly, though unsuccessfully, encouraged Mistress Margaret to join her in enjoying the treat. The young woman turned down the offer.

“At least pledge me in a glass of sack,” said Dame Ursula; “I have heard my grandame say, that before the gospellers came in, the old Catholic father confessors and their penitents always had a cup of sack together before confession; and you are my penitent.”

“At least promise me a glass of sack,” said Dame Ursula; “I’ve heard my grandmother say that before the gospel preachers arrived, the old Catholic priests and their penitents would always share a cup of sack together before confession; and you are my penitent.”

“I shall drink no sack, I am sure,” said Margaret; “and I told you before, that if you cannot find out what ails me, I shall never have the heart to tell it.”

“I’m definitely not drinking any sack,” said Margaret. “And I already told you that if you can’t figure out what’s wrong with me, I’ll never have the courage to share it.”

So saying, she turned away from Dame Ursula once more, and resumed her musing posture, with her hand on her elbow, and her back, at least one shoulder, turned towards her confidant.

So saying, she turned away from Dame Ursula again and returned to her thoughtful pose, resting her hand on her elbow, with her back, at least one shoulder, turned toward her confidant.

“Nay, then,” said Dame Ursula, “I must exert my skill in good earnest.—You must give me this pretty hand, and I will tell you by palmistry, as well as any gipsy of them all, what foot it is you halt upon.”

“Nah, then,” said Dame Ursula, “I need to really use my skills. You have to give me this lovely hand, and I’ll tell you through palm reading, just like any gypsy out there, which foot it is that you limp on.”

“As if I halted on any foot at all,” said Margaret, something scornfully, but yielding her left hand to Ursula, and continuing at the same time her averted position.

“As if I stopped on any foot at all,” said Margaret, somewhat scornfully, but giving her left hand to Ursula, while still maintaining her turned-away position.

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Original

“I see brave lines here,” said Ursula, “and not ill to read neither—pleasure and wealth, and merry nights and late mornings to my Beauty, and such an equipage as shall shake Whitehall. O, have I touched you there?—and smile you now, my pretty one?—for why should not he be Lord Mayor, and go to Court in his gilded caroch, as others have done before him?”

“I see some bold lines here,” said Ursula, “and they’re not hard to read either—joy and riches, fun nights and lazy mornings for my Beauty, and a carriage that will make a scene at Whitehall. Oh, did I hit a nerve there?—are you smiling now, my lovely one?—because why shouldn’t he be Lord Mayor and go to court in his fancy carriage, just like others have before him?”

“Lord Mayor? pshaw!” replied Margaret.

“Lord Mayor? Seriously?” replied Margaret.

“And why pshaw at my Lord Mayor, sweetheart? or perhaps you pshaw at my prophecy; but there is a cross in every one's line of life as well as in yours, darling. And what though I see a 'prentice's flat cap in this pretty palm, yet there is a sparking black eye under it, hath not its match in the Ward of Farringdon-Without.”

“And why roll your eyes at my Lord Mayor, sweetheart? Or maybe you roll your eyes at my prediction; but there’s a challenge in everyone’s life path just like in yours, darling. And even though I see an apprentice's flat cap in this lovely palm, there’s a sparkling black eye beneath it that has no equal in the Ward of Farringdon-Without.”

“Whom do you mean, dame?” said Margaret coldly.

“Who are you talking about, ma'am?” Margaret said coldly.

“Whom should I mean,” said Dame Ursula, “but the prince of 'prentices, and king of good company, Jenkin Vincent?”

“Who else could I mean,” said Dame Ursula, “but the prince of apprentices and king of good company, Jenkin Vincent?”

“Out, woman—Jenkin Vincent?—a clown—a Cockney!” exclaimed the indignant damsel.

“Get out, woman—Jenkin Vincent?—a clown—a Cockney!” exclaimed the angry girl.

“Ay, sets the wind in that quarter, Beauty!” quoth the dame; “why, it has changed something since we spoke together last, for then I would have sworn it blew fairer for poor Jin Vin; and the poor lad dotes on you too, and would rather see your eyes than the first glimpse of the sun on the great holiday on May-day.”

“Ay, is the wind blowing that way, Beauty!” said the woman; “well, it’s changed a bit since we last talked, because back then I could have sworn it was blowing more favorably for poor Jin Vin; and the poor guy is crazy about you, wanting to see your eyes more than he wants to see the first rays of the sun on May Day.”

“I would my eyes had the power of the sun to blind his, then,” said Margaret, “to teach the drudge his place.”

“I wish my eyes had the power of the sun to blind him,” said Margaret, “to show that workhorse his place.”

“Nay,” said Dame Ursula, “there be some who say that Frank Tunstall is as proper a lad as Jin Vin, and of surety he is third cousin to a knighthood, and come of a good house; and so mayhap you may be for northward ho!”

“No,” said Dame Ursula, “there are some who say that Frank Tunstall is as good a guy as Jin Vin, and he is definitely a third cousin to a knight, coming from a good family; so maybe you should head north!”

“Maybe I may”—answered Margaret, “but not with my father's 'prentice—I thank you, Dame Ursula.”

“Maybe I will,” Margaret replied, “but not with my father's apprentice—I appreciate it, Dame Ursula.”

“Nay, then, the devil may guess your thoughts for me,” said Dame Ursula; “this comes of trying to shoe a filly that is eternally wincing and shifting ground!”

“Nah, then the devil can guess your thoughts for me,” said Dame Ursula; “this is what happens when you try to shoe a filly that's always flinching and shifting around!”

“Hear me, then,” said Margaret, “and mind what I say.—This day I dined abroad—”

“Hear me out, then,” said Margaret, “and pay attention to what I say.—Today I had lunch out—”

“I can tell you where,” answered her counsellor,—“with your godfather the rich goldsmith—ay, you see I know something—nay, I could tell you, as I would, with whom, too.”

“I can tell you where,” replied her counselor, “with your godfather, the wealthy goldsmith—yes, you see I know something—actually, I could tell you, if I wanted to, with whom as well.”

“Indeed!” said Margaret, turning suddenly round with an accent of strong surprise, and colouring up to the eyes.

“Absolutely!” said Margaret, turning around suddenly with a tone of genuine surprise, and flushing all the way to her eyes.

“With old Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” said the oracular dame,—“he was trimmed in my Benjamin's shop in his way to the city.”

“With old Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” said the wise woman, “he got his haircut in my Benjamin's shop on his way to the city.”

“Pshaw! the frightful old mouldy skeleton!” said the damsel.

“Ugh! That creepy old skeleton!” said the girl.

“Indeed you say true, my dear,” replied the confidant,—“it is a shame to him to be out of Saint Pancras's charnel-house, for I know no other place he is fit for, the foul-mouthed old railer. He said to my husband—”

“Indeed, you’re right, my dear,” replied the confidant, “it’s a disgrace for him to be out of Saint Pancras's charnel-house, because I can’t think of any other place he belongs, the foul-mouthed old arguer. He said to my husband—”

“Somewhat which signifies nothing to our purpose, I dare say,” interrupted Margaret. “I must speak, then.—There dined with us a nobleman—”

“That's somewhat irrelevant to what we're discussing, I must say,” interrupted Margaret. “Let me speak, then. — A nobleman had dinner with us—”

“A nobleman! the maiden's mad!” said Dame Ursula.

“A nobleman! The girl has lost her mind!” said Dame Ursula.

“There dined with us, I say,” continued Margaret, without regarding the interruption, “a nobleman—a Scottish nobleman.”

“There dined with us, I say,” continued Margaret, ignoring the interruption, “a nobleman—a Scottish nobleman.”

“Now Our Lady keep her!” said the confidant, “she is quite frantic!—heard ever any one of a watchmaker's daughter falling in love with a nobleman—and a Scots nobleman, to make the matter complete, who are all as proud as Lucifer, and as poor as Job?—A Scots nobleman, quotha? I had lief you told me of a Jew pedlar. I would have you think how all this is to end, pretty one, before you jump in the dark.”

“Now may Our Lady protect her!” said the confidant, “she is completely out of her mind!—have you ever heard of a watchmaker's daughter falling in love with a nobleman—and a Scottish nobleman, to top it off, who are all as proud as could be, and as broke as a joke?—A Scottish nobleman, really? I’d rather you told me about a Jewish peddler. Think about how all this will finish, dear one, before you leap into the unknown.”

“That is nothing to you, Ursula—it is your assistance,” said Mistress Margaret, “and not your advice, that I am desirous to have, and you know I can make it worth your while.”

“That's not important to you, Ursula—what I need is your help,” said Mistress Margaret, “and not your opinions. You know I can make it worthwhile for you.”

“O, it is not for the sake of lucre, Mistress Margaret,” answered the obliging dame; “but truly I would have you listen to some advice—bethink you of your own condition.”

“O, it's not for the sake of money, Mistress Margaret,” replied the helpful woman; “but honestly, I want you to consider some advice—think about your own situation.”

“My father's calling is mechanical,” said Margaret, “but our blood is not so. I have heard my father say that we are descended, at a distance indeed, from the great Earls of Dalwolsey.” [Footnote: The head of the ancient and distinguished house of Ramsay, and to whom, as their chief, the individuals of that name look as their origin and source of gentry. Allan Ramsay, the pastoral poet, in the same manner, makes

“My dad's job is mechanical,” said Margaret, “but that's not who we are. I’ve heard my dad say that we are distantly related to the great Earls of Dalwolsey.” [Footnote: The head of the ancient and distinguished house of Ramsay, and to whom, as their chief, the individuals of that name look as their origin and source of gentry. Allan Ramsay, the pastoral poet, in the same manner, makes

    “Dalhousie of an auld descent,
     My chief, my stoup, my ornament.”]
“Dalhousie of an old lineage,  
My leader, my support, my pride.”

“Ay, ay,” said Dame Ursula; “even so—I never knew a Scot of you but was descended, as ye call it, from some great house or other; and a piteous descent it often is—and as for the distance you speak of, it is so great as to put you out of sight of each other. Yet do not toss your pretty head so scornfully, but tell me the name of this lordly northern gallant, and we will try what can be done in the matter.”

“Ay, ay,” said Dame Ursula; “I’ve never met a Scot who didn’t claim to be descended from some noble family; and often it’s quite a sad story. And about the distance you mentioned, it’s so far that it keeps you out of sight of one another. But don’t toss your pretty head so dismissively—tell me the name of this noble northern gentleman, and we’ll see what we can do about it.”

“It is Lord Glenvarloch, whom they call Lord Nigel Olifaunt,” said Margaret in a low voice, and turning away to hide her blushes.

“It’s Lord Glenvarloch, the one they call Lord Nigel Olifaunt,” said Margaret in a quiet voice, turning away to hide her blush.

“Marry, Heaven forefend!” exclaimed Dame Suddlechop; “this is the very devil, and something worse!”

“Goodness, heaven forbid!” exclaimed Dame Suddlechop; “this is the absolute worst, and even more than that!”

“How mean you?” said the damsel, surprised at the vivacity of her exclamation.

“How do you mean?” said the girl, surprised by the intensity of her exclamation.

“Why, know ye not,” said the dame, “what powerful enemies he has at Court? know ye not—But blisters on my tongue, it runs too fast for my wit—enough to say, that you had better make your bridal-bed under a falling house, than think of young Glenvarloch.”

“Don’t you know,” the lady said, “what powerful enemies he has at Court? don’t you know—But my tongue is tripping me up, I’m speaking too quickly—let’s just say, it’s better to make your wedding bed under a collapsing house than to think about young Glenvarloch.”

“He IS unfortunate then?” said Margaret; “I knew it—I divined it—there was sorrow in his voice when he said even what was gay—there was a touch of misfortune in his melancholy smile—he had not thus clung to my thoughts had I seen him in all the mid-day glare of prosperity.”

“He is unfortunate then?” said Margaret; “I knew it—I sensed it—there was sadness in his voice even when he spoke cheerfully—there was a hint of hardship in his sad smile—he wouldn’t have stayed in my thoughts if I had seen him during the bright, carefree days of success.”

“Romances have cracked her brain!” said Dame Ursula; “she is a castaway girl—utterly distraught—loves a Scots lord—and likes him the better for being unfortunate! Well, mistress, I am sorry this is a matter I cannot aid you in—it goes against my conscience, and it is an affair above my condition, and beyond my management;—but I will keep your counsel.”

“Romances have driven her crazy!” said Dame Ursula; “she is a lost girl—completely out of her mind—she loves a Scottish lord—and she likes him even more because he’s had bad luck! Well, my dear, I’m sorry this is something I can’t help you with—it goes against my principles, and it’s an issue beyond my social standing and control;—but I will keep your secret.”

“You will not be so base as to desert me, after having drawn my secret from me?” said Margaret, indignantly; “if you do, I know how to have my revenge; and if you do not, I will reward you well. Remember the house your husband dwells in is my father's property.”

“You're not going to be so low as to abandon me after I've shared my secret with you, are you?” said Margaret, angrily. “If you do, I know how to get my revenge; and if you don't, I will reward you handsomely. Keep in mind that the house your husband lives in belongs to my father.”

“I remember it but too well, Mistress Margaret,” said Ursula, after a moment's reflection, “and I would serve you in any thing in my condition; but to meddle with such high matters—I shall never forget poor Mistress Turner, my honoured patroness, peace be with her!—she had the ill-luck to meddle in the matter of Somerset and Overbury, and so the great earl and his lady slipt their necks out of the collar, and left her and some half-dozen others to suffer in their stead. I shall never forget the sight of her standing on the scaffold with the ruff round her pretty neck, all done up with the yellow starch which I had so often helped her to make, and that was so soon to give place to a rough hempen cord. Such a sight, sweetheart, will make one loath to meddle with matters that are too hot or heavy for their handling.”

“I remember it all too well, Mistress Margaret,” Ursula said after a moment of thought. “I would help you with anything within my reach; but getting involved in such serious matters—I’ll never forget poor Mistress Turner, my respected patron, may she rest in peace! She had the misfortune to get involved in the Somerset and Overbury affair, and as a result, the great earl and his lady managed to escape consequences, leaving her and a few others to take the fall. I will never forget the sight of her on the scaffold with the ruff around her lovely neck, all starched with the yellow that I had so often helped her make, which was soon to be replaced by a rough hempen noose. Such a sight, dear, makes one reluctant to handle matters that are too dangerous or heavy for them.”

“Out, you fool!” answered Mistress Margaret; “am I one to speak to you about such criminal practices as that wretch died for? All I desire of you is, to get me precise knowledge of what affair brings this young nobleman to Court.”

“Get out, you fool!” replied Mistress Margaret; “am I someone who would discuss such criminal activities that scoundrel died for? All I want from you is to find out exactly what brings this young nobleman to Court.”

“And when you have his secret,” said Ursula, “what will it avail you, sweetheart?—and yet I would do your errand, if you could do as much for me.”

“And when you have his secret,” Ursula said, “what good will it do you, sweetheart?—and yet I would do your favor if you could do the same for me.”

“And what is it you would have of me?” said Mistress Margaret.

“And what is it you want from me?” said Mistress Margaret.

“What you have been angry with me for asking before,” answered Dame Ursula. “I want to have some light about the story of your godfather's ghost, that is only seen at prayers.”

“What you’ve been mad at me for asking before,” replied Dame Ursula. “I want to get some clarity about the tale of your godfather's ghost, which only appears during prayers.”

“Not for the world,” said Mistress Margaret, “will I be a spy on my kind godfather's secrets—No, Ursula—that I will never pry into, which he desires to keep hidden. But thou knowest that I have a fortune, of my own, which must at no distant day come under my own management—think of some other recompense.”

“Not for anything in the world,” said Mistress Margaret, “will I be a spy on my dear godfather's secrets—No, Ursula—that I will never invade, which he wants to keep hidden. But you know that I have a fortune of my own, which must soon come under my own control—think of some other reward.”

“Ay, that I well know,” said the counsellor—“it is that two hundred per year, with your father's indulgence, that makes you so wilful, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, I know that well,” said the counselor—“it’s that two hundred a year, with your dad’s support, that makes you so stubborn, sweetheart.”

“It may be so,”—said Margaret Ramsay; “meanwhile, do you serve me truly, and here is a ring of value in pledge, that when my fortune is in my own hand, I will redeem the token with fifty broad pieces of gold.”

“It might be,” said Margaret Ramsay, “but for now, are you truly serving me? Here’s a valuable ring as a promise that when I have control of my fortune, I’ll buy back this token with fifty gold coins.”

“Fifty broad pieces of gold!” repeated the dame; “and this ring, which is a right fair one, in token you fail not of your word!—Well, sweetheart, if I must put my throat in peril, I am sure I cannot risk it for a friend more generous than you; and I would not think of more than the pleasure of serving you, only Benjamin gets more idle every day, and our family——”

“Fifty gold coins!” the woman repeated. “And this ring, which is quite beautiful, as a sign that you won’t break your promise! Well, my dear, if I have to put myself in danger, I know I can’t do it for anyone more generous than you; and I wouldn’t consider anything beyond the joy of helping you, but Benjamin is getting lazier every day, and our family——”

“Say no more of it,” said Margaret; “we understand each other. And now, tell me what you know of this young man's affairs, which made you so unwilling to meddle with them?”

“Let's not talk about it anymore,” said Margaret; “we get each other. Now, tell me what you know about this young man's situation that made you so hesitant to get involved?”

“Of that I can say no great matter as yet,” answered Dame Ursula; “only I know, the most powerful among his own countrymen are against him, and also the most powerful at the Court here. But I will learn more of it; for it will be a dim print that I will not read for your sake, pretty Mistress Margaret. Know you where this gallant dwells?”

“Honestly, I can't say much about it yet,” replied Dame Ursula. “All I know is that the most influential people in his own country are against him, and so are the most powerful ones here at court. But I will find out more, because it will be a blurry print that I won't ignore for your sake, dear Mistress Margaret. Do you know where this charming man lives?”

“I heard by accident,” said Margaret, as if ashamed of the minute particularity of her memory upon such an occasion,—“he lodges, I think—at one Christie's—if I mistake not—at Paul's Wharf—a ship-chandler's.”

“I heard by accident,” said Margaret, sounding a bit embarrassed about her detailed memory in this situation, “he stays, I think—at one of Christie's—if I'm not mistaken—at Paul's Wharf—a ship supply store.”

“A proper lodging for a young baron!—Well, but cheer you up, Mistress Margaret—If he has come up a caterpillar, like some of his countrymen, he may cast his slough like them, and come out a butterfly.—So I drink good-night, and sweet dreams to you, in another parting cup of sack; and you shall hear tidings of me within four-and-twenty hours. And, once more, I commend you to your pillow, my pearl of pearls, and Marguerite of Marguerites!”

“A nice place for a young baron!—But don’t be down, Mistress Margaret—If he started off as a caterpillar, like some of his countrymen, he might shed his skin and emerge as a butterfly. So, I raise a final toast to you for a good night and sweet dreams with another glass of sack; and you’ll hear from me in the next twenty-four hours. Once again, I wish you well as you settle into bed, my precious one, and Marguerite of all Marguerites!”

So saying, she kissed the reluctant cheek of her young friend, or patroness, and took her departure with the light and stealthy pace of one accustomed to accommodate her footsteps to the purposes of dispatch and secrecy.

So saying, she kissed the unwilling cheek of her young friend, or supporter, and left with a light and quiet step, like someone used to moving quickly and discreetly.

Margaret Ramsay looked after her for some time, in anxious silence. “I did ill,” she at length murmured, “to let her wring this out of me; but she is artful, bold and serviceable—and I think faithful—or, if not, she will be true at least to her interest, and that I can command. I would I had not spoken, however—I have begun a hopeless work. For what has he said to me, to warrant my meddling in his fortunes?—Nothing but words of the most ordinary import—mere table-talk, and terms of course. Yet who knows”—she said, and then broke off, looking at the glass the while, which, as it reflected back a face of great beauty, probably suggested to her mind a more favourable conclusion of the sentence than she cared to trust her tongue withal.

Margaret Ramsay took care of her for a while, in anxious silence. “I messed up,” she finally whispered, “letting her get this out of me; but she’s clever, bold, and helpful—and I think she’s loyal—or at least, she’ll be true to her own interests, and I can work with that. I wish I hadn’t said anything, though—I’ve started a pointless task. What has he even said to me that justifies my involvement in his life?—Nothing but common talk—just casual conversation and typical phrases. Yet who knows”—she said, then paused, glancing at the mirror, which showed a face of great beauty, likely leading her to think a more positive conclusion than she felt comfortable voicing.










CHAPTER IX

  So pitiful a thing is suitor's state!
  Most miserable man, whom wicked fate
  Hath brought to Court to sue, for had I wist,
  That few have found, and many a one hath miss'd!
  Full little knowest thou, that hast not tried,
  What hell it is, in sueing long to bide:
  To lose good days that might be better spent;
  To waste long nights in pensive discontent;
  To speed to-day, to be put back to-morrow;
  To feed on hope, to pine with fear and sorrow;
  To have thy Prince's grace, yet want her Peers';
  To have thy asking, yet wait many years;
  To fret thy soul with crosses and with cares—
  To eat thy heart through comfortless despairs.
  To fawn, to crouch, to wait, to ride, to run,
  To spend, to give, to want, to be undone.
                          Mother Hubbard's Tale.
So pitiful is a suitor's situation!  
Most miserable man, whom wicked fate  
Has brought to court to plead, for had I known,  
That few have succeeded, and many have failed!  
You little know, if you haven’t experienced it,  
What hell it is to endure long in seeking:  
To waste good days that could be better spent;  
To spend long nights in thoughtful discontent;  
To succeed today, only to be pushed back tomorrow;  
To feed on hope, to suffer with fear and sorrow;  
To have your Prince's favor, yet lack her peers';  
To get what you want, yet wait many years;  
To torment your soul with struggles and with worries—  
To eat your heart out through endless despair.  
To flatter, to bow, to wait, to ride, to run,  
To spend, to give, to lack, to be undone.  
Mother Hubbard's Tale.

On the morning of the day on which George Heriot had prepared to escort the young Lord of Glenvarloch to the Court at Whitehall, it may be reasonably supposed, that the young man, whose fortunes were likely to depend on this cast, felt himself more than usually anxious. He rose early, made his toilette with uncommon care, and, being enabled, by the generosity of his more plebeian countryman, to set out a very handsome person to the best advantage, he obtained a momentary approbation from himself as he glanced at the mirror, and a loud and distinct plaudit from his landlady, who declared at once, that, in her judgment, he would take the wind out of the sail of every gallant in the presence—so much had she been able to enrich her discourse with the metaphors of those with whom her husband dealt.

On the morning that George Heriot was set to take the young Lord of Glenvarloch to the Court at Whitehall, it’s fair to say that the young man, whose future was likely riding on this meeting, felt especially anxious. He got up early, took great care with his appearance, and, thanks to the generosity of his more ordinary countryman, was able to present himself quite well. He felt a brief sense of satisfaction as he glanced in the mirror, and his landlady chimed in with a loud and clear compliment, declaring that he would outshine every gentleman in the room—she had enriched her speech with the metaphors used by the men her husband worked with.

At the appointed hour, the barge of Master George Heriot arrived, handsomely manned and appointed, having a tilt, with his own cipher, and the arms of his company, painted thereupon.

At the scheduled time, Master George Heriot's barge arrived, well-staffed and equipped, featuring a canopy with his personal emblem and the insignia of his company painted on it.

The young Lord of Glenvarloch received the friend, who had evinced such disinterested attachment, with the kind courtesy which well became him.

The young Lord of Glenvarloch welcomed his friend, who had shown such selfless loyalty, with the polite warmth that suited him perfectly.

Master Heriot then made him acquainted with the bounty of his sovereign; which he paid over to his young friend, declining what he had himself formerly advanced to him. Nigel felt all the gratitude which the citizen's disinterested friendship had deserved, and was not wanting in expressing it suitably.

Master Heriot then introduced him to the generosity of his king; which he passed on to his young friend, forgoing what he had previously given him. Nigel felt all the gratitude that the citizen's selfless friendship deserved, and was not shy about expressing it appropriately.

Yet, as the young and high-born nobleman embarked to go to the presence of his prince, under the patronage of one whose best, or most distinguished qualification, was his being an eminent member of the Goldsmiths' Incorporation, he felt a little surprised, if not abashed, at his own situation; and Richie Moniplies, as he stepped over the gangway to take his place forward in the boat, could not help muttering,—“It was a changed day betwixt Master Heriot and his honest father in the Kraemes;—but, doubtless, there was a difference between clinking on gold and silver, and clattering upon pewter.”

Yet, as the young nobleman set out to meet his prince, backed by someone whose main claim to fame was being a prominent member of the Goldsmiths' Incorporation, he felt a bit surprised, if not embarrassed, about his own position. As Richie Moniplies stepped over the gangway to take his seat in the boat, he couldn't help but mutter, “It’s a different day compared to Master Heriot and his hardworking father in the Kraemes; but, surely, there’s a big difference between ringing gold and silver and banging on pewter.”

On they glided, by the assistance of the oars of four stout watermen, along the Thames, which then served for the principal high-road betwixt London and Westminster; for few ventured on horseback through the narrow and crowded streets of the city, and coaches were then a luxury reserved only for the higher nobility, and to which no citizen, whatever was his wealth, presumed to aspire. The beauty of the banks, especially on the northern side, where the gardens of the nobility descended from their hotels, in many places, down to the water's edge, was pointed out to Nigel by his kind conductor, and was pointed out in vain. The mind of the young Lord of Glenvarloch was filled with anticipations, not the most pleasant, concerning the manner in which he was likely to be received by that monarch, in whose behalf his family had been nearly reduced to ruin; and he was, with the usual mental anxiety of those in such a situation, framing imaginary questions from the king, and over-toiling his spirit in devising answers to them.

They glided along the Thames, aided by the oars of four strong watermen, which then served as the main road between London and Westminster; few people dared to ride through the narrow and crowded city streets, and coaches were a luxury reserved only for the highest nobility, something no citizen, no matter how wealthy, dared to aspire to. The beauty of the riverbanks, especially on the northern side, where the gardens of the nobility sloped down from their mansions to the water's edge, was pointed out to Nigel by his kind guide, although it went unnoticed by him. The young Lord of Glenvarloch was filled with not-so-pleasant thoughts about how he would be received by the king, for whom his family had nearly faced ruin; and, as is common in such situations, he was mentally crafting imaginary questions from the king and exhausting himself trying to come up with answers.

His conductor saw the labour of Nigel's mind, and avoided increasing it by farther conversation; so that, when he had explained to him briefly the ceremonies observed at Court on such occasions of presentation, the rest of their voyage was performed in silence.

His conductor noticed the effort Nigel was making to think, and didn't want to burden him with more conversation. So, after briefly explaining the rituals at Court for these presentation events, they spent the rest of their journey in silence.

They landed at Whitehall Stairs, and entered the Palace after announcing their names,—the guards paying to Lord Glenvarloch the respect and honours due to his rank.

They arrived at Whitehall Stairs and entered the Palace after saying their names, with the guards showing Lord Glenvarloch the respect and honors that his rank deserved.

The young man's heart beat high and thick within him as he came into the
royal apartments. His education abroad, conducted, as it had been, on
a narrow and limited scale, had given him but imperfect ideas of the
grandeur of a Court; and the philosophical reflections which taught him
to set ceremonial and exterior splendour at defiance, proved, like other
maxims of mere philosophy, ineffectual, at the moment they were weighed
against the impression naturally made on the mind of an inexperienced
youth, by the unusual magnificence of the scene. The splendid apartments
through which they passed, the rich apparel of the grooms, guards, and
 apartments, had something in it, trifling and commonplace as it might
appear to practised courtiers, embarrassing, and even alarming, to one,
who went through these forms for the first time, and who was doubtful
what sort of reception was to accompany his first appearance before his
sovereign.
The young man's heart raced as he entered the royal apartments. His limited education abroad had given him only a vague understanding of the grandeur of a court, and while his philosophical insights taught him to disregard ceremony and outward splendor, those ideas fell flat in the face of the overwhelming impression made on an inexperienced young man by the extraordinary magnificence of the scene. The opulent rooms they passed through, the lavish clothing of the attendants, guards, and furnishings, seemed trivial and ordinary to seasoned courtiers but felt daunting and even frightening to someone experiencing this for the first time, unsure of what kind of reception awaited him in front of his sovereign.

Heriot, in anxious attention to save his young friend from any momentary awkwardness, had taken care to give the necessary password to the warders, grooms of the chambers, ushers, or by whatever name they were designated; so they passed on without interruption.

Heriot, trying to help his young friend avoid any awkward moments, made sure to provide the necessary password to the guards, room attendants, ushers, or whatever name they went by; so they were able to move on without any interruptions.

In this manner they passed several ante-rooms, filled chiefly with guards, attendants of the Court, and their acquaintances, male and female, who, dressed in their best apparel, and with eyes rounded by eager curiosity to make the most of their opportunity, stood, with beseeming modesty, ranked against the wall, in a manner which indicated that they were spectators, not performers, in the courtly exhibition.

In this way, they walked through several waiting rooms, mostly filled with guards, court attendants, and their male and female acquaintances. Dressed in their finest clothes and eyes wide with eager curiosity to take in the moment, they stood with appropriate modesty lined up against the wall, indicating that they were spectators, not participants, in the courtly event.

Through these exterior apartments Lord Glenvarloch and his city friend advanced into a large and splendid withdrawing-room, communicating with the presence-chamber, into which ante-room were admitted those only who, from birth, their posts in the state or household, or by the particular grant of the kings, had right to attend the Court, as men entitled to pay their respects to their sovereign.

Through these outside rooms, Lord Glenvarloch and his friend from the city entered a large and impressive drawing-room that connected to the main chamber. Only those who had the right to attend the Court—either by birth, their positions in the government or household, or by special permission from the king—were allowed into this ante-room, as they were entitled to show their respect to their sovereign.

Amid this favoured and selected company, Nigel observed Sir Mungo Malagrowther, who, avoided and discountenanced by those who knew how low he stood in Court interest and favour, was but too happy in the opportunity of hooking himself upon a person of Lord Glenvarloch's rank, who was, as yet, so inexperienced as to feel it difficult to shake off an intruder.

Amid this chosen and privileged group, Nigel noticed Sir Mungo Malagrowther, who, shunned and looked down upon by those aware of his low standing in Court circles, was all too eager to latch onto someone of Lord Glenvarloch's rank, who, still inexperienced, found it hard to rid himself of an unwanted companion.

The knight forthwith framed his grim features to a ghastly smile, and, after a preliminary and patronising nod to George Heriot, accompanied with an aristocratic wave of the hand, which intimated at once superiority and protection, he laid aside altogether the honest citizen, to whom he owed many a dinner, to attach himself exclusively to the young lord, although he suspected he might be occasionally in the predicament of needing one as much as himself. And even the notice of this original, singular and unamiable as he was, was not entirely indifferent to Lord Glenvarloch, since the absolute and somewhat constrained silence of his good friend Heriot, which left him at liberty to retire painfully to his own agitating reflections, was now relieved; while, on the other hand, he could not help feeling interest in the sharp and sarcastic information poured upon him by an observant, though discontented courtier, to whom a patient auditor, and he a man of title and rank, was as much a prize, as his acute and communicative disposition rendered him an entertaining companion to Nigel Olifaunt. Heriot, in the meantime, neglected by Sir Mungo, and avoiding every attempt by which the grateful politeness of Lord Glenvarloch strove to bring him into the conversation, stood by, with a kind of half smile on his countenance; but whether excited by Sir Mungo's wit, or arising at his expense, did not exactly appear.

The knight quickly forced a grim smile onto his face and, after giving a condescending nod to George Heriot, accompanied by an aristocratic wave of his hand that suggested both superiority and protection, he completely dismissed the honest citizen who had treated him to many dinners. Instead, he focused solely on the young lord, even though he suspected he might sometimes need a dinner as much as the knight did. Even though Lord Glenvarloch found this original, unusual, and unlikable figure somewhat bothersome, he couldn't ignore that the awkward and somewhat tense silence from his good friend Heriot, which left him free to retreat into his own uneasy thoughts, was now broken. On the flip side, he found himself intrigued by the sharp and sarcastic remarks coming from an observant, yet unhappy, courtier, who saw a patient listener—especially one of noble title and rank—as a valuable prize, just as his keen and talkative nature made him an interesting company for Nigel Olifaunt. Meanwhile, Heriot, ignored by Sir Mungo and avoiding every effort by Lord Glenvarloch to draw him into the conversation, stood off to the side with a sort of half-smile on his face, though it wasn't clear whether it was a reaction to Sir Mungo's wit or at his expense.

In the meantime, the trio occupied a nook of the ante-room, next to the door of the presence-chamber, which was not yet thrown open, when Maxwell, with his rod of office, came bustling into the apartment, where most men, excepting those of high rank, made way for him. He stopped beside the party in which we are interested, looked for a moment at the young Scots nobleman, then made a slight obeisance to Heriot, and lastly, addressing Sir Mungo Malagrowther, began a hurried complaint to him of the misbehaviour of the gentlemen-pensioners and warders, who suffered all sort of citizens, suitors, and scriveners, to sneak into the outer apartments, without either respect or decency.—“The English,” he said, “were scandalised, for such a thing durst not be attempted in the queen's days. In her time, there was then the court-yard for the mobility, and the apartments for the nobility; and it reflects on your place, Sir Mungo,” he added, “belonging to the household as you do, that such things should not be better ordered.”

In the meantime, the trio took up a spot in the ante-room, next to the door of the presence-chamber, which was still closed when Maxwell, with his staff of office, hurried into the room. Most people, except those of high rank, made way for him. He paused beside the group we’re focusing on, glanced at the young Scottish nobleman, then nodded slightly to Heriot, and finally, addressing Sir Mungo Malagrowther, began to quickly complain about the misconduct of the gentlemen-pensioners and warders, who allowed all sorts of citizens, petitioners, and clerks to slip into the outer rooms without any respect or decorum. “The English,” he remarked, “were appalled, for something like that wouldn’t have been tolerated in the queen's days. Back then, there was a courtyard for common folks and apartments for the nobility. It reflects poorly on your position, Sir Mungo,” he added, “as part of the household, that such things aren’t better managed.”

Here Sir Mungo, afflicted, as was frequently the case on such occasions, with one of his usual fits of deafness, answered, “It was no wonder the mobility used freedoms, when those whom they saw in office were so little better in blood and havings than themselves.”

Here Sir Mungo, often troubled, as he usually was on such occasions, with one of his typical bouts of deafness, replied, “It’s no surprise the people used their freedoms when those in power were barely any better in status and wealth than they were.”

“You are right, sir—quite right,” said Maxwell, putting his hand on the tarnished embroidery on the old knight's sleeve,—“when such fellows see men in office dressed in cast-off suits, like paltry stage-players, it is no wonder the Court is thronged with intruders.”

“You're absolutely right, sir,” said Maxwell, resting his hand on the faded embroidery on the old knight's sleeve, “when those guys see office holders wearing second-hand suits, like cheap actors, it’s no surprise that the Court is flooded with outsiders.”

“Were you lauding the taste of my embroidery, Maister Maxwell?” answered the knight, who apparently interpreted the deputy-chamberlain's meaning rather from his action than his words;—“it is of an ancient and liberal pattern, having been made by your mother's father, auld James Stitchell, a master-fashioner of honest repute, in Merlin's Wynd, whom I made a point to employ, as I am now happy to remember, seeing your father thought fit to intermarry with sic a person's daughter.”

“Were you praising the quality of my embroidery, Master Maxwell?” replied the knight, who seemed to understand the deputy-chamberlain's meaning more from his actions than his words; “it's from an old and generous design, made by your grandfather, old James Stitchell, a master craftsman of good reputation, in Merlin's Wynd, whom I made sure to hire, as I'm glad to recall, since your father chose to marry such a person's daughter.”

Maxwell looked stern; but, conscious there was nothing to be got of Sir Mungo in the way of amends, and that prosecuting the quarrel with such an adversary would only render him ridiculous, and make public a mis-alliance of which he had no reason to be proud, he covered his resentment with a sneer; and, expressing his regret that Sir Mungo was become too deaf to understand or attend to what was said to him, walked on, and planted himself beside the folding-doors of the presence-chamber, at which he was to perform the duty of deputy-chamberlain, or usher, so soon as they should be opened.

Maxwell looked serious; however, knowing that he wouldn’t gain anything from Sir Mungo in terms of an apology, and that continuing the argument with such a rival would only make him look foolish and expose an embarrassing mix-up he wasn’t proud of, he masked his anger with a sneer. He expressed his regret that Sir Mungo had become too deaf to understand or pay attention to what was being said to him, then walked on and positioned himself by the folding doors of the presence chamber, where he was set to take on the role of deputy-chamberlain, or usher, as soon as they were opened.

“The door of the presence is about to open,” said the goldsmith, in a whisper, to his young friend; “my condition permits me to go no farther with you. Fail not to present yourself boldly, according to your birth, and offer your Supplication; which the king will not refuse to accept, and, as I hope, to consider favourably.”

“The door to the royal audience is about to open,” the goldsmith whispered to his young friend. “I can’t go any further with you. Make sure you present yourself confidently, as befits your status, and submit your request; the king will be sure to accept it, and I hope he will look upon it favorably.”

As he spoke, the door of the presence-chamber opened accordingly, and, as is usual on such occasions, the courtiers began to advance towards it, and to enter in a slow, but continuous and uninterrupted stream.

As he spoke, the door to the meeting room opened, and, as is typical in these situations, the courtiers started to move toward it and entered in a slow, steady, and unbroken flow.

As Nigel presented himself in his turn at the entrance, and mentioned his name and title, Maxwell seemed to hesitate. “You are not known to any one,” he said. “It is my duty to suffer no one to pass to the presence, my lord, whose face is unknown to me, unless upon the word of a responsible person.”

As Nigel stepped up to the entrance and stated his name and title, Maxwell appeared to hesitate. “I don’t recognize you,” he said. “It’s my responsibility not to allow anyone to enter the presence, my lord, whose face I don’t know, unless a reliable person vouches for them.”

“I came with Master George Heriot,” said Nigel, in some embarrassment at this unexpected interruption.

“I arrived with Master George Heriot,” Nigel said, feeling a bit awkward about this unexpected interruption.

“Master Heriot's name will pass current for much gold and silver, my lord,” replied Maxwell, with a civil sneer, “but not for birth and rank. I am compelled by my office to be peremptory.—The entrance is impeded—I am much concerned to say it—your lordship must stand back.”

“Master Heriot's name might carry a lot of weight in gold and silver, my lord,” replied Maxwell, with a polite sneer, “but it doesn’t hold much for birth and rank. I have to be firm because of my position.—The entrance is blocked—I regret to inform you—your lordship will have to step back.”

“What is the matter?” said an old Scottish nobleman, who had been speaking with George Heriot, after he had separated from Nigel, and who now came forward, observing the altercation betwixt the latter and Maxwell.

“What’s going on?” asked an old Scottish nobleman, who had been talking with George Heriot after parting from Nigel, and who now stepped forward, noticing the argument between Nigel and Maxwell.

“It is only Master Deputy-Chamberlain Maxwell,” said Sir Mungo Malagrowther, “expressing his joy to see Lord Glenvarloch at Court, whose father gave him his office—at least I think he is speaking to that purport—for your lordship kens my imperfection.” A subdued laugh, such as the situation permitted, passed round amongst those who heard this specimen of Sir Mungo's sarcastic temper. But the old nobleman stepped still more forward, saying,—“What!—the son of my gallant old opponent, Ochtred Olifaunt—I will introduce him to the presence myself.”

“It’s just Master Deputy-Chamberlain Maxwell,” said Sir Mungo Malagrowther, “sharing his happiness at seeing Lord Glenvarloch at Court, whose father gave him his position—at least, I think that’s what he’s saying—because your lordship knows my flaws.” A quiet laugh, fitting for the situation, spread among those who heard this example of Sir Mungo's sarcastic nature. But the older nobleman stepped forward even more, saying, “What!—the son of my brave old rival, Ochtred Olifaunt—I’ll introduce him to the presence myself.”

So saying, he took Nigel by the arm, without farther ceremony, and was about to lead him forward, when Maxwell, still keeping his rod across the door, said, but with hesitation and embarrassment—“My lord, this gentleman is not known, and I have orders to be scrupulous.”

So saying, he took Nigel by the arm, without any further ceremony, and was about to lead him forward when Maxwell, still holding his rod across the door, said, but with hesitation and embarrassment—“My lord, this gentleman is not known, and I have orders to be careful.”

“Tutti—taiti, man,” said the old lord, “I will be answerable he is his father's son, from the cut of his eyebrow—and thou, Maxwell, knewest his father well enough to have spared thy scruples. Let us pass, man.” So saying, he put aside the deputy-chamberlain's rod, and entered the presence-room, still holding the young nobleman by the arm.

“Tutti—taiti, man,” said the old lord, “I can guarantee he is his father's son, just looking at his eyebrow—and you, Maxwell, knew his father well enough to have set your doubts aside. Let’s move on, man.” With that, he brushed aside the deputy-chamberlain's rod and walked into the presence-room, keeping the young nobleman by the arm.

“Why, I must know you, man,” he said; “I must know you. I knew your father well, man, and I have broke a lance and crossed a blade with him; and it is to my credit that I am living to brag of it. He was king's-man and I was queen's-man during the Douglas wars—young fellows both, that feared neither fire nor steel; and we had some old feudal quarrels besides, that had come down from father to son, with our seal-rings, two-harided broad-swords, and plate-coats, and the crests on our burgonets.”

"Hey, I need to get to know you, man," he said. "I knew your father really well, man, and I’ve fought alongside him; it’s a point of pride that I’m still here to talk about it. He was loyal to the king and I was loyal to the queen during the Douglas wars—two young guys who weren’t afraid of fire or steel; plus, we had some old family feuds that had been passed down from father to son, along with our seal rings, double-handed broadswords, plate armor, and the crests on our helmets."

“Too loud, my Lord of Huntinglen,” whispered a gentleman of the chamber,—“The King!—the King!”

“Too loud, my Lord of Huntinglen,” whispered a gentleman of the chamber, “The King!—the King!”

The old earl (for such he proved) took the hint, and was silent; and James, advancing from a side-door, received in succession the compliments of strangers, while a little group of favourite courtiers, or officers of the household, stood around him, to whom he addressed himself from time to time. Some more pains had been bestowed on his toilette than upon the occasion when we first presented the monarch to our readers; but there was a natural awkwardness about his figure which prevented his clothes from sitting handsomely, and the prudence or timidity of his disposition had made him adopt the custom already noticed, of wearing a dress so thickly quilted as might withstand the stroke of a dagger, which added an ungainly stiffness to his whole appearance, contrasting oddly with the frivolous, ungraceful, and fidgeting motions with which he accompanied his conversation. And yet, though the king's deportment was very undignified, he had a manner so kind, familiar, and good-humoured, was so little apt to veil over or conceal his own foibles, and had so much indulgence and sympathy for those of others, that his address, joined to his learning, and a certain proportion of shrewd mother-wit, failed not to make a favourable impression on those who approached his person.

The old earl (as it turned out) took the hint and stayed quiet; James, coming through a side door, received compliments from strangers one after another, while a small group of favored courtiers or household officers gathered around him, to whom he spoke from time to time. He had put more effort into his appearance than when we first introduced the monarch to our readers; however, there was a natural awkwardness about his figure that kept his clothes from fitting nicely. His cautious or timid nature led him to follow the already noted custom of wearing a dress that was heavily quilted to withstand a dagger's strike, which added an awkward stiffness to his overall look, contrasting sharply with the frivolous, ungraceful, and fidgety movements that went along with his conversation. Yet, despite the king's rather undignified behavior, he had such a kind, familiar, and good-humored manner. He rarely hid or masked his own faults and showed a lot of understanding and sympathy for the faults of others, so his approach, combined with his knowledge and a touch of cleverness, certainly left a positive impression on those who came near him.

When the Earl of Huntinglen had presented Nigel to his sovereign, a ceremony which the good peer took upon himself, the king received the young lord very graciously, and observed to his introducer, that he “was fain to see them twa stand side by side; for I trow, my Lord Huntinglen,” continued he, “your ancestors, ay, and e'en your lordship's self and this lad's father, have stood front to front at the sword's point, and that is a worse posture.”

When the Earl of Huntinglen introduced Nigel to his king, a ceremony the kind peer took on himself, the king welcomed the young lord warmly. He commented to his introducer, “I’m glad to see you two standing side by side; for I believe, my Lord Huntinglen,” he continued, “your ancestors, and even you and this boy's father, have faced each other with swords drawn, and that’s a far worse position.”

“Until your Majesty,” said Lord Huntinglen, “made Lord Ochtred and me cross palms, upon the memorable day when your Majesty feasted all the nobles that were at feud together, and made them join hands in your presence—”

“Until Your Majesty,” said Lord Huntinglen, “made Lord Ochtred and me shake hands, on that memorable day when Your Majesty invited all the nobles who were at odds with each other and made them join hands in your presence—”

“I mind it weel,” said the king; “I mind it weel—it was a blessed day, being the nineteen of September, of all days in the year—and it was a blithe sport to see how some of the carles girned as they clapped loofs together. By my saul, I thought some of them, mair special the Hieland chiels, wad have broken out in our own presence; but we caused them to march hand in hand to the Cross, ourselves leading the way, and there drink a blithe cup of kindness with ilk other, to the stanching of feud, and perpetuation of amity. Auld John Anderson was Provost that year—the carle grat for joy, and the bailies and councillors danced bare-headed in our presence like five-year-auld colts, for very triumph.”

“I remember it well,” said the king; “I remember it well—it was a blessed day, the nineteenth of September, of all days in the year—and it was a joyful sight to see how some of the men grinned as they clapped their hands together. By my soul, I thought some of them, especially the Highland guys, would have burst out in our presence; but we had them march hand in hand to the Cross, us leading the way, and there we shared a cheerful drink of goodwill with each other, to stop the feud and promote friendship. Old John Anderson was Provost that year—the man cried out for joy, and the bailies and councillors danced bareheaded in our presence like five-year-old colts, out of sheer triumph.”

“It was indeed a happy day,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and will not be forgotten in the history of your Majesty's reign.”

“It was truly a joyful day,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and will be remembered in the history of your Majesty's reign.”

“I would not that it were, my lord,” replied the monarch—“I would not that it were pretermitted in our annals. Ay, ay—BEATI PACIFICI. My English lieges here may weel make much of me, for I would have them to know, they have gotten the only peaceable man that ever came of my family. If James with the Fiery Face had come amongst you,” he said, looking round him, “or my great grandsire, of Flodden memory!”

“I wish it weren't the case, my lord,” replied the monarch. “I wish it wasn't left out of our history. Yes, yes—BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS. My English subjects here should appreciate me, because I want them to know they have the only peaceful man from my family. If James with the Fiery Face had been here with you," he said, looking around, "or my great grandfather, famous from Flodden!"

“We should have sent him back to the north again,” whispered one English nobleman.

“We should have sent him back up north again,” whispered one English nobleman.

“At least,” said another, in the same inaudible tone, “we should have had a MAN to our sovereign, though he were but a Scotsman.”

“At least,” said another, in the same quiet tone, “we should have had a MAN as our leader, even if he were just a Scotsman.”

“And now, my young springald,” said the king to Lord Glenvarloch, “where have you been spending your calf-time?”

“And now, my young lad,” said the king to Lord Glenvarloch, “where have you been spending your youth?”

“At Leyden, of late, may it please your Majesty,” answered Lord Nigel.

“Recently at Leyden, if it pleases Your Majesty,” replied Lord Nigel.

“Aha! a scholar,” said the king; “and, by my saul, a modest and ingenuous youth, that hath not forgotten how to blush, like most of our travelled Monsieurs. We will treat him conformably.”

“Aha! a scholar,” said the king; “and, by my soul, a modest and genuine young man, who hasn’t forgotten how to blush, unlike most of our well-traveled gentlemen. We will treat him accordingly.”

Then drawing himself up, coughing slightly, and looking around him with the conscious importance of superior learning, while all the courtiers who understood, or understood not, Latin, pressed eagerly forward to listen, the sapient monarch prosecuted his inquiries as follows:—

Then, straightening up, coughing a bit, and glancing around with the proud confidence of someone with superior knowledge, while all the courtiers, whether they knew Latin or not, eagerly leaned in to hear, the wise king continued his questioning like this:—

“Hem! hem! salve bis, quaterque salve, glenvarlochides noster! Nuperumne ab lugduno batavorum britanniam rediisti?

“Hey! Hey! greetings again and again, our Glenvarloch! Did you just return from Lugdunum Batavorum to Britain?

The young nobleman replied, bowing low—

The young nobleman replied, bowing deeply—

Imo, rex augustissime—biennium fere apud lugdunenses Moratus sum.

In my opinion, most august king—I stayed for nearly two years among the people of Lugdunum.

James proceeded—

James moved on—

Biennium dicis? Bene, bene, optume factum est—non uno Die, quod dicunt,—intelligisti, domine glenvarlochiensis? Aha!”

Two years of saying? Well, well, very well done—it wasn't just one day, as they say—do you understand, lord glenvarlochiensis? Aha!”

Nigel replied by a reverent bow, and the king, turning to those behind him, said—

Nigel responded with a respectful bow, and the king, turning to those behind him, said—

Adolescens quidem ingenui vultus ingenuique pudoris.” Then resumed his learned queries. “Et quid hodie lugdunenses loquuntur—vossius vester nihilne novi scripsit?—nihil certe, quod doleo, typis recenter editit.”

Young and innocent face, and innocent modesty.” Then he continued his learned questions. “And what are the people of Lyon talking about today—has your Vossius written anything new?—certainly nothing, which I regret, has been recently published in print.

Valet quidem vossius, rex benevole.” replied Nigel, “ast senex veneratissimus annum agit, ni fallor, septuagesimum.

You're right, your majesty.” replied Nigel, “but the old man is celebrating his seventieth year, if I'm not mistaken.

Virum, mehercle, vix tam grandaevum crediderim,” replied the monarch. “et vorstius iste?—arminii improbi successor aeque ac sectator—herosne adhuc, ut cum homero loquar, [ZOOS ESTI KAI EPI THONI DERKOV]?” text in Greek

Man, honestly, I can hardly believe he’s so old,” replied the king. “And that guy over there?—the untrustworthy successor and follower of Arminius— is he still a hero, if I may speak like Homer, [ZOOS ESTI KAI EPI THONI DERKOV]?”

Nigel, by good fortune, remembered that Vorstius, the divine last mentioned in his Majesty's queries about the state of Dutch literature, had been engaged in a personal controversy with James, in which the king had taken so deep an interest, as at length to hint in his public correspondence with the United States, that they would do well to apply the secular arm to stop the progress of heresy by violent measures against the Professor's person—a demand which their Mighty Mightinesses' principles of universal toleration induced them to elude, though with some difficulty. Knowing all this, Lord Glenvarloch, though a courtier of only five minutes' standing, had address enough to reply—

Nigel, by good luck, recalled that Vorstius, the theologian mentioned earlier in the king's inquiries about the state of Dutch literature, had been involved in a personal dispute with James. The king had been so invested in it that he eventually hinted in his public correspondence with the United States that they should take decisive action to stop the spread of heresy through violent measures against the professor—a request that the United States, with their principles of universal tolerance, managed to avoid, though it wasn't easy. Knowing all this, Lord Glenvarloch, despite being a courtier for only a short time, was clever enough to respond—

Vivum quidem, haud diu est, hominem videbam—vigere autem quis dicat qui sub fulminibus eloquentiae tuae, rex magne, jamdudum pronus jacet, et prostratus?

I was indeed alive, not long ago, I saw a man—but who can say he's thriving when he lies down, struck by the thunder of your eloquence, great king, flat out on the ground?

[Footnote: Lest any lady or gentleman should suspect there is aught of mystery concealed under the sentences printed in Italics, they will be pleased to understand that they contain only a few commonplace Latin phrases, relating to the state of letters in Holland, which neither deserve, nor would endure, a literal translation.]

[Footnote: To prevent any lady or gentleman from thinking there’s something mysterious hidden in the sentences printed in italics, please note that they only contain a few ordinary Latin phrases about the state of letters in Holland, which neither deserve nor would withstand a literal translation.]

This last tribute to his polemical powers completed James's happiness, which the triumph of exhibiting his erudition had already raised to a considerable height.

This final tribute to his debating skills capped off James's happiness, which the success of showcasing his knowledge had already boosted significantly.

He rubbed his hands, snapped his fingers, fidgeted, chuckled, exclaimed—“Euge! Belle! Optime!” and turning to the Bishops of Exeter and Oxford, who stood behind him, he said.—“Ye see, my lords, no bad specimen of our Scottish Latinity, with which language we would all our subjects of England were as well embued as this, and other youths of honourable birth, in our auld kingdom; also, we keep the genuine and Roman pronunciation, like other learned nations on the continent, sae that we hold communing with any scholar in the universe, who can but speak the Latin tongue; whereas ye, our learned subjects of England, have introduced into your universities, otherwise most learned, a fashion of pronouncing like unto the 'nippit foot and clippit foot' of the bride in the fairy tale, whilk manner of speech, (take it not amiss that I be round with you) can be understood by no nation on earth saving yourselves; whereby Latin, quoad anglos, ceaseth to be communis lingua, the general dragoman, or interpreter, between all the wise men of the earth.”

He rubbed his hands, snapped his fingers, fidgeted, chuckled, and exclaimed—“Euge! Belle! Optime!” Then, turning to the Bishops of Exeter and Oxford who stood behind him, he said, “You see, my lords, this is not a bad example of our Scottish Latin, and I wish all our subjects in England spoke it as well as this and other young people of noble birth do in our old kingdom. Also, we maintain the true Roman pronunciation, like other learned nations on the continent, so we can communicate with any scholar in the world who speaks Latin. In contrast, you, our learned subjects in England, have introduced a way of pronouncing it in your universities, which are otherwise very scholarly, that sounds like the 'nipped foot and clipped foot' of the bride in the fairy tale. This way of speaking, don’t take it the wrong way if I’m blunt, can only be understood by you; as a result, Latin, quoad anglos, ceases to be communis lingua, the general interpreter, between all the wise men of the earth.”

The Bishop of Exeter bowed, as in acquiescence to the royal censure; but he of Oxford stood upright, as mindful over what subjects his see extended, and as being equally willing to become food for fagots in defence of the Latinity of the university, as for any article of his religious creed.

The Bishop of Exeter bowed, seemingly accepting the royal criticism; however, the Bishop of Oxford stood tall, fully aware of the issues within his jurisdiction and equally ready to be burned at the stake for defending the university's Latin as for any point of his faith.

The king, without awaiting an answer from either prelate, proceeded to question Lord Nigel, but in the vernacular tongue,—“Weel, my likely Alumnus of the Muses, and what make you so far from the north?”

The king, without waiting for a response from either bishop, turned to Lord Nigel and asked in plain language, “Well, my promising Student of the Muses, what brings you all the way down from the north?”

“To pay my homage to your Majesty,” said the young nobleman, kneeling on one knee, “and to lay before you,” he added, “this my humble and dutiful Supplication.”

“To pay my respects to Your Majesty,” said the young nobleman, kneeling on one knee, “and to present to you,” he added, “this humble and respectful request.”

The presenting of a pistol would certainly have startled King James more, but could (setting apart the fright) hardly have been more unpleasing to his indolent disposition.

The sight of a pistol would definitely have shocked King James more, but aside from the fear, it could hardly have been more unpleasant for his easy-going nature.

“And is it even so, man?” said he; “and can no single man, were it but for the rarity of the case, ever come up frae Scotland, excepting EX PROPOSITO—on set purpose, to see what he can make out of his loving sovereign? It is but three days syne that we had weel nigh lost our life, and put three kingdoms into dule-weeds, from the over haste of a clumsy-handed peasant, to thrust a packet into our hand, and now we are beset by the like impediment in our very Court. To our Secretary with that gear, my lord—to our Secretary with that gear.”

“And is that really the case, man?” he said. “Can’t a single person, even just for the sake of the rarity of it, come down from Scotland unless it’s EX PROPOSITO—specifically to see what he can get from his loving sovereign? It was only three days ago that we almost lost our life and caused three kingdoms to go into mourning because of an overzealous peasant who thrust a package into our hand, and now we’re facing the same issue right here in our own Court. Take that stuff to our Secretary, my lord—take it to our Secretary.”

“I have already offered my humble Supplication to your Majesty's Secretary of State,” said Lord Glenvarloch—“but it seems——”

“I have already submitted my humble request to your Majesty's Secretary of State,” said Lord Glenvarloch—“but it appears——”

“That he would not receive it, I warrant?” said the king, interrupting him; “bu my saul, our Secretary kens that point of king-craft, called refusing, better than we do, and will look at nothing but what he likes himsell—I think I wad make a better Secretary to him than he to me.—Weel, my lord, you are welcome to London; and, as ye seem an acute and learned youth, I advise ye to turn your neb northward as soon as ye like, and settle yoursell for a while at Saint Andrews, and we will be right glad to hear that you prosper in your studies.—Incumbite Remis Fortiter.

“Are you saying he wouldn't accept it?” the king interrupted him. “But honestly, our Secretary knows that trick of kingship called refusing better than we do and only pays attention to what he likes himself—I bet I’d be a better Secretary to him than he is to me. Well, my lord, welcome to London; and since you seem like a sharp and educated young man, I suggest you head north as soon as you're ready and settle down for a bit at St. Andrews. We’d be very happy to hear that you’re doing well in your studies. Incumbite Remis Fortiter.

While the king spoke thus, he held the petition of the young lord carelessly, like one who only delayed till the supplicant's back was turned, to throw it away, or at least lay it aside to be no more looked at. The petitioner, who read this in his cold and indifferent looks, and in the manner in which he twisted and crumpled together the paper, arose with a bitter sense of anger and disappointment, made a profound obeisance, and was about to retire hastily. But Lord Huntinglen, who stood by him, checked his intention by an almost imperceptible touch upon the skirt of his cloak, and Nigel, taking the hint, retreated only a few steps from the royal presence, and then made a pause. In the meantime, Lord Huntinglen kneeled before James, in his turn, and said—“May it please your Majesty to remember, that upon one certain occasion you did promise to grant me a boon every year of your sacred life?”

While the king spoke like this, he held the young lord's petition carelessly, as if he was just waiting for the supplicant to turn his back so he could toss it aside or at least ignore it completely. The petitioner noticed this in the king's cold, indifferent expression and in the way he twisted and crumpled the paper. He stood up feeling a deep sense of anger and disappointment, bowed deeply, and was about to leave quickly. But Lord Huntinglen, who was standing next to him, subtly stopped him with a light touch on the edge of his cloak. Taking the hint, Nigel stepped back just a few paces from the king and paused there. Meanwhile, Lord Huntinglen knelt before James and said, "Your Majesty, may I remind you that on one occasion you promised to grant me a favor every year for as long as you live?"

“I mind it weel, man,” answered James, “I mind it weel, and good reason why—it was when you unclasped the fause traitor Ruthven's fangs from about our royal throat, and drove your dirk into him like a true subject. We did then, as you remind us, (whilk was unnecessary,) being partly beside ourselves with joy at our liberation, promise we would grant you a free boon every year; whilk promise, on our coming to menseful possession of our royal faculties, we did confirm, restrictive always and conditionaliter, that your lordship's demand should be such as we, in our royal discretion, should think reasonable.”

“I remember it well, man,” James replied, “I remember it well, and for good reason—it was when you freed our royal neck from the false traitor Ruthven's grip and drove your dagger into him like a true subject. We did then, as you remind us, (which was unnecessary), partly overwhelmed with joy at our release, promise that we would grant you a free favor every year; which promise, upon fully regaining our royal faculties, we did confirm, restrictive always and conditional, that your lordship's request should be such as we, in our royal judgment, would consider reasonable.”

“Even so, gracious sovereign,” said the old earl, “and may I yet farther crave to know if I have ever exceeded the bounds of your royal benevolence?”

“Even so, gracious sovereign,” said the old earl, “may I ask if I have ever gone beyond the limits of your royal kindness?”

“By my word, man, no!'” said the king; “I cannot remember you have asked much for yourself, if it be not a dog or a hawk, or a buck out of our park at Theobald's, or such like. But to what serves this preface?”

“Honestly, man, no!” said the king; “I can’t recall you ever asking for much for yourself, unless it’s a dog or a hawk, or a deer from our park at Theobald's, or something similar. But what’s the point of this introduction?”

“To the boon to which I am now to ask of your Grace,” said Lord Huntinglen; “which is, that your Majesty would be pleased, on the instant, to look at the placet of Lord Glenvarloch, and do upon it what your own just and royal nature shall think meet and just, without reference to your Secretary or any other of your Council.”

“To the favor I’m about to request from you,” said Lord Huntinglen; “I ask that Your Majesty would take a moment to consider the appeal of Lord Glenvarloch and act on it as you see fit, based on your own sense of justice and royalty, without needing to consult your Secretary or any other members of your Council.”

“By my saul, my lord, this is strange,” said the king; “ye are pleading for the son of your enemy!”

“By my soul, my lord, this is strange,” said the king; “you are pleading for the son of your enemy!”

“Of one who WAS my enemy till your Majesty made him my friend,” answered Lord Huntinglen.

“Of someone who was my enemy until your Majesty made him my friend,” answered Lord Huntinglen.

“Weel spoken, my lord!” said the king; “and with, a true Christian spirit. And, respecting the Supplication of this young man, I partly guess where the matter lies; and in plain troth I had promised to George Heriot to be good to the lad—But then, here the shoe pinches. Steenie and Babie Charles cannot abide him—neither can your own son, my lord; and so, methinks, he had better go down to Scotland before he comes toill luck by them.”

"Well said, my lord!" said the king. "And with a true Christian spirit. As for this young man's request, I have a pretty good idea of what it's about; to be honest, I had promised George Heriot to look out for the kid. But here's the problem. Steenie and Baby Charles can't stand him—neither can your own son, my lord. So, I think it would be best if he goes down to Scotland before he runs into trouble with them."

“My son, an it please your Majesty, so far as he is concerned, shall not direct my doings,” said the earl, “nor any wild-headed young man of them all.”

“My son, if it pleases your Majesty, as far as he’s concerned, will not control my actions,” said the earl, “nor will any reckless young man among them all.”

“Why, neither shall they mine,” replied the monarch; “by my father's saul, none of them all shall play Rex with me—I will do what I will, and what I ought, like a free king.”

“Why, neither will they,” replied the king; “by my father’s soul, none of them will play king with me—I will do what I want and what I should, like a free king.”

“Your Majesty will then grant me my boon?” said the Lord Huntinglen.

“Will you grant me my wish then, Your Majesty?” said Lord Huntinglen.

“Ay, marry will I—marry will I,” said the king; “but follow me this way, man, where we may be more private.”

“Ay, sure I will—sure I will,” said the king; “but follow me this way, man, where we can be more private.”

He led Lord Huntinglen with rather a hurried step through the courtiers, all of whom gazed earnestly on this unwonted scene, as is the fashion of all Courts on similar occasions. The king passed into a little cabinet, and bade, in the first moment, Lord Huntinglen lock or bar the door; but countermanded his direction in the next, saying,—“No, no, no—bread o' life, man, I am a free king—will do what I will and what I should—I am justus et tenax propositi, man—nevertheless, keep by the door, Lord Huntinglen, in case Steenie should come in with his mad humour.”

He quickly led Lord Huntinglen through the courtiers, who all watched the unusual scene with curiosity, as is typical at any court during similar moments. The king entered a small room and initially instructed Lord Huntinglen to lock or bar the door; however, he changed his mind immediately, saying, “No, no, no—come on, man, I’m a free king—I can do what I want and what I should—I am justus et tenax propositi, man—still, stay near the door, Lord Huntinglen, just in case Steenie bursts in with his wild antics.”

“O my poor master!” groaned the Earl of Huntinglen. “When you were in your own cold country, you had warmer blood in your veins.”

“O my poor master!” groaned the Earl of Huntinglen. “When you were in your own cold country, you had warmer blood in your veins.”

The king hastily looked over the petition or memorial, every now and then glancing his eye towards the door, and then sinking it hastily on the paper, ashamed that Lord Huntinglen, whom he respected, should suspect him of timidity.

The king quickly skimmed through the petition or letter, occasionally glancing at the door, and then quickly looked down at the paper, embarrassed that Lord Huntinglen, whom he respected, might think he was being cowardly.

“To grant the truth,” he said, after he had finished his hasty perusal, “this is a hard case; and harder than it was represented to me, though I had some inkling of it before. And so the lad only wants payment of the siller due from us, in order to reclaim his paternal estate? But then, Huntinglen, the lad will have other debts—and why burden himsell with sae mony acres of barren woodland? let the land gang, man, let the land gang; Steenie has the promise of it from our Scottish Chancellor—it is the best hunting-ground in Scotland—and Babie Charles and Steenie want to kill a buck there this next year—they maun hae the land—they maun hae the land; and our debt shall be paid to the young man plack and bawbee, and he may have the spending of it at our Court; or if he has such an eard hunger, wouns! man, we'll stuff his stomach with English land, which is worth twice as much, ay, ten times as much, as these accursed hills and heughs, and mosses and muirs, that he is sae keen after.”

“To tell the truth,” he said after quickly reading through it, “this is a tough situation; and tougher than I was led to believe, even though I had some idea of it beforehand. So, the kid just wants us to pay the money we owe him to reclaim his family land? But then, Huntinglen, he’ll have other debts—and why should he weigh himself down with so many acres of useless forest? Just let the land go, man, let it go; Steenie has a promise from our Scottish Chancellor—it’s the best hunting ground in Scotland—and Babie Charles and Steenie want to hunt a deer there next year—they need the land—they need the land; and we’ll settle our debt to the young man in coins, and he can spend it at our Court; or if he’s really hungry for it, goodness! man, we can fill him up with English land, which is worth twice as much, yeah, ten times as much, as these cursed hills and knolls, and bogs and moors that he’s so eager for.”

All this while the poor king ambled up and down the apartment in a piteous state of uncertainty, which was made more ridiculous by his shambling circular mode of managing his legs, and his ungainly fashion on such occasions of fiddling with the bunches of ribbons which fastened the lower part of his dress.

All this time, the poor king paced back and forth in the room, feeling hopelessly uncertain, which only became more absurd due to his awkward, shuffling way of moving his legs and his clumsy habit of fiddling with the bunches of ribbons that held the lower part of his outfit together.

Lord Huntinglen listened with great composure, and answered, “An it please your Majesty, there was an answer yielded by Naboth when Ahab coveted his vineyard—' The Lord forbid that I should give the inheritance of my fathers unto thee.'”

Lord Huntinglen listened calmly and replied, “If it pleases your Majesty, Naboth responded to Ahab when he wanted his vineyard—'The Lord forbid that I should give the inheritance of my fathers to you.'”

“Ey, my lord—ey, my lord!” ejaculated James, while all the colour mounted both to his cheek and nose; “I hope ye mean not to teach me divinity? Ye need not fear, my lord, that I will shun to do justice to every man; and, since your lordship will give me no help to take up this in a more peaceful manner—whilk, methinks, would be better for the young man, as I said before,—why—since it maun be so—'sdeath, I am a free king, man, and he shall have his money and redeem his land, and make a kirk and a miln of it, an he will.” So saying, he hastily wrote an order on the Scottish Exchequer for the sum in question, and then added, “How they are to pay it, I see not; but I warrant he will find money on the order among the goldsmiths, who can find it for every one but me.—And now you see, my Lord of Huntinglen, that I am neither an untrue man, to deny you the boon whilk I became bound for, nor an Ahab, to covet Naboth's vineyard; nor a mere nose-of-wax, to be twisted this way and that, by favourites and counsellors at their pleasure. I think you will grant now that I am none of those?”

“Hey, my lord—hey, my lord!” exclaimed James, as color rushed to his cheeks and nose. “I hope you don’t mean to teach me about religion? You don’t need to worry, my lord, that I will hesitate to do right by everyone; and since your lordship won’t help me resolve this in a more peaceful way—which, I think, would be better for the young man, as I mentioned before—well, since it has to be this way—by God, I am a free king, and he will get his money and reclaim his land, and build a church and a mill on it if he wants to.” With that, he quickly wrote an order on the Scottish Exchequer for the amount in question, then added, “How he’s going to pay it, I don’t know; but I bet he’ll find money from the order among the goldsmiths, who can find it for everyone but me. And now you see, my Lord of Huntinglen, that I am neither a dishonest man to deny you the favor I agreed to, nor an Ahab, to crave Naboth's vineyard; nor am I simply someone who can be twisted this way and that by favorites and counselors at their whim. I think you’ll agree now that I am none of those?”

“You are my own native and noble prince,” said Huntinglen, as he knelt to kiss the royal hand—“just and generous, whenever you listen to the workings of your own heart.”

“You are my own true and noble prince,” said Huntinglen, as he knelt to kiss the royal hand—“fair and magnanimous, whenever you pay attention to the feelings of your own heart.”

“Ay, ay,” said the king, laughing good-naturedly, as he raised his faithful servant from the ground, “that is what ye all say when I do any thing to please ye. There—there, take the sign-manual, and away with you and this young fellow. I wonder Steenie and Babie Charles have not broken in on us before now.”

“Ay, ay,” said the king, laughing good-naturedly as he helped his loyal servant up from the ground, “that’s what you all say when I do something to make you happy. There—there, take the sign-manual and get going with this young guy. I wonder why Steenie and Babie Charles haven’t interrupted us before now.”

Lord Huntinglen hastened from the cabinet, foreseeing a scene at which he was unwilling to be present, but which sometimes occurred when James roused himself so far as to exert his own free will, of which he boasted so much, in spite of that of his imperious favourite Steenie, as he called the Duke of Buckingham, from a supposed resemblance betwixt his very handsome countenance, and that with which the Italian artists represented the protomartyr Stephen. In fact, the haughty favourite, who had the unusual good fortune to stand as high in the opinion of the heir-apparent as of the existing monarch, had considerably diminished in his respect towards the latter; and it was apparent, to the more shrewd courtiers, that James endured his domination rather from habit, timidity, and a dread of encountering his stormy passions, than from any heartfelt continuation of regard towards him, whose greatness had been the work of his own hands. To save himself the pain of seeing what was likely to take place on the duke's return, and to preserve the king from the additional humiliation which the presence of such a witness must have occasioned, the earl left the cabinet as speedily as possible, having first carefully pocketed the important sign-manual.

Lord Huntinglen rushed out of the room, anticipating a scene he didn’t want to witness. This sometimes happened when James managed to assert his own free will, which he bragged about, despite the influence of his demanding favorite, Steenie, as he called the Duke of Buckingham, because of a supposed resemblance between the duke’s very handsome face and the way Italian artists depicted the protomartyr Stephen. In reality, the arrogant favorite, who was unusually favored by both the heir apparent and the current king, had greatly diminished his respect for the latter. The more perceptive courtiers could see that James tolerated his dominance more out of habit, fear, and a reluctance to face his volatile temper than out of any genuine affection for the man whose greatness he had created. To avoid the discomfort of witnessing what was likely to happen when the duke returned and to spare the king from the added humiliation of having such a witness, the earl left the room as quickly as possible, making sure to pocket the important sign-manual first.

No sooner had he entered the presence-room, than he hastily sought Lord Glenvarloch, who had withdrawn into the embrasure of one of the windows, from the general gaze of men who seemed disposed only to afford him the notice which arises from surprise and curiosity, and, taking him by the arm, without speaking, led him out of the presence-chamber into the first ante-room. Here they found the worthy goldsmith, who approached them with looks of curiosity, which were checked by the old lord, who said hastily, “All is well.—Is your barge in waiting?” Heriot answered in the affirmative. “Then,” said Lord Huntinglen, “you shall give me a cast in it, as the watermen say; and I, in requital, will give you both your dinner; for we must have some conversation together.”

As soon as he entered the waiting room, he quickly looked for Lord Glenvarloch, who had stepped aside into the nook of one of the windows, away from the general crowd, who seemed only interested in him out of surprise and curiosity. Taking him by the arm without saying a word, he led him out of the waiting chamber into the first anteroom. There, they found the respectable goldsmith, who approached them with curious looks, which were cut off by the old lord, who said quickly, “All is good. Is your boat waiting?” Heriot replied that it was. “Then,” said Lord Huntinglen, “you’ll give me a ride in it, as the watermen say; and in return, I’ll treat you both to dinner, because we need to have a conversation.”

They both followed the earl without speaking, and were in the second ante-room when the important annunciation of the ushers, and the hasty murmur with which all made ample way as the company repeated to each other,—“The Duke—the Duke!” made them aware of the approach of the omnipotent favourite.

They both followed the earl in silence and were in the second anteroom when the ushers made their important announcement, and the quick whisper that spread as everyone told each other, “The Duke—the Duke!” revealed the imminent arrival of the extremely powerful favorite.

He entered, that unhappy minion of Court favour, sumptuously dressed in the picturesque attire which will live for ever on the canvas of Vandyke, and which marks so well the proud age, when aristocracy, though undermined and nodding to its fall, still, by external show and profuse expense, endeavoured to assert its paramount superiority over the inferior orders. The handsome and commanding countenance, stately form, and graceful action and manners of the Duke of Buckingham, made him become that picturesque dress beyond any man of his time. At present, however, his countenance seemed discomposed, his dress a little more disordered than became the place, his step hasty, and his voice imperative.

He walked in, that unfortunate servant of Court favor, richly dressed in the striking outfit that will forever be captured in Vandyke's paintings, representing the proud era when the aristocracy, despite being weakened and on the brink of collapse, still tried to prove its superiority over the lower classes with flashy appearances and lavish spending. The Duke of Buckingham’s handsome and commanding face, dignified figure, and elegant movements made him stand out in that striking attire more than anyone else of his time. However, at that moment, his expression seemed troubled, his clothes a bit more disheveled than appropriate for the setting, his pace quick, and his tone demanding.

All marked the angry spot upon his brow, and bore back so suddenly to make way for him, that the Earl of Huntinglen, who affected no extraordinary haste on the occasion, with his companions, who could not, if they would, have decently left him, remained as it were by themselves in the middle of the room, and in the very path of the angry favourite. He touched his cap sternly as he looked on Huntinglen, but unbonneted to Heriot, and sunk his beaver, with its shadowy plume, as low as the floor, with a profound air of mock respect. In returning his greeting, which he did simply and unaffectedly, the citizen only said,—“Too much courtesy, my lord duke, is often the reverse of kindness.”

All noticed the angry mark on his forehead and quickly stepped aside for him, so that the Earl of Huntinglen, who didn't seem to be in any rush, along with his companions, who couldn't have left him without it being rude, found themselves practically alone in the middle of the room, right in the path of the furious favorite. He sternly tipped his cap while looking at Huntinglen but removed his hat for Heriot, lowering his feathered hat as far as the floor in a deep mock show of respect. When he returned the greeting, which he did simply and sincerely, the citizen just said, “Too much courtesy, my lord duke, is often the opposite of kindness.”

“I grieve you should think so, Master Heriot,” answered the duke; “I only meant, by my homage, to claim your protection, sir—your patronage. You are become, I understand, a solicitor of suits—a promoter—an undertaker—a fautor of court suitors of merit and quality, who chance to be pennyless. I trust your bags will bear you out in your new boast.”

“I’m sorry to hear you think that way, Master Heriot,” replied the duke. “I just meant, by showing my respect, to ask for your protection, sir—your support. I understand you’ve become a solicitor of cases—a promoter—an undertaker—someone who helps court cases for deserving and quality people who happen to be broke. I hope your resources can support your new claim.”

“They will bear me the farther, my lord duke,” answered the goldsmith, “that my boast is but small.”

“They will support me more, my lord duke,” replied the goldsmith, “since my claim isn’t very bold.”

“O, you do yourself less than justice, my good Master Heriot,” continued the duke, in the same tone of irony; “you have a marvellous court-faction, to be the son of an Edinburgh tinker. Have the goodness to prefer me to the knowledge of the high-born nobleman who is honoured and advantaged by your patronage.”

“O, you do yourself a disservice, my good Master Heriot,” continued the duke, in the same ironic tone; “you have an incredible court faction, being the son of an Edinburgh tinker. Please, let me have the pleasure of knowing the high-born nobleman who is fortunate to have your support.”

“That shall be my task,” said Lord Huntinglen, with emphasis. “My lord duke, I desire you to know Nigel Olifaunt, Lord Glenvarloch, representative of one of the most ancient and powerful baronial houses in Scotland.—Lord Glenvarloch, I present you to his Grace the Duke of Buckingham, representative of Sir George Villiers, Knight of Brookesby, in the county of Leicester.”

“That's going to be my job,” said Lord Huntinglen, stressing his point. “My lord duke, I want you to meet Nigel Olifaunt, Lord Glenvarloch, who represents one of the oldest and most influential noble families in Scotland.—Lord Glenvarloch, I introduce you to his Grace the Duke of Buckingham, who represents Sir George Villiers, Knight of Brookesby, in Leicestershire.”

The duke coloured still more high as he bowed to Lord Glenvarloch scornfully, a courtesy which the other returned haughtily, and with restrained indignation. “We know each other, then,” said the duke, after a moment's pause; and as if he had seen something in the young nobleman which merited more serious notice than the bitter raillery with which he had commenced—“we know each other—and you know me, my lord, for your enemy.”

The duke's face flushed even more as he bowed scornfully to Lord Glenvarloch, who returned the gesture with haughty restraint and barely concealed anger. “So we know each other now,” the duke said after a brief pause, as if he had noticed something in the young nobleman that warranted more serious attention than the sharp mockery with which he had started. “We know each other—and you know me, my lord, as your enemy.”

“I thank you for your plainness, my lord duke,” replied Nigel; “an open enemy is better than a hollow friend.”

“I appreciate your honesty, my lord duke,” replied Nigel; “a straightforward enemy is better than a fake friend.”

“For you, my Lord Huntinglen,” said the duke, “methinks you have but now overstepped the limits of the indulgence permitted to you, as the father of the prince's friend, and my own.”

“For you, my Lord Huntinglen,” said the duke, “I think you have just now gone too far with the leniency granted to you, as the father of the prince's friend, and my own.”

“By my word, my lord duke,” replied the earl, “it is easy for any one to outstep boundaries, of the existence of which he was not aware. It is neither to secure my protection nor approbation, that my son keeps such exalted company.”

“Honestly, my lord duke,” replied the earl, “it's easy for anyone to cross lines they didn’t even know existed. My son associates with such high-status people neither to gain my protection nor my approval.”

“O, my lord, we know you, and indulge you,” said the duke; “you are one of those who presume for a life-long upon the merit of one good action.”

“Oh, my lord, we know you, and we let it slide,” said the duke; “you are one of those who rely on the credit of one good deed for your entire life.”

“In faith, my lord, and if it be so,” said the old earl, “I have at least the advantage of such as presume more than I do, without having done any action of merit whatever. But I mean not to quarrel with you, my lord—we can neither be friends nor enemies—you have your path, and I have mine.”

“In all honesty, my lord, if that’s the case,” said the old earl, “I have at least the upper hand over those who assume more than I do, without having achieved anything of worth themselves. But I don’t intend to argue with you, my lord—we can’t be friends or enemies—you have your way, and I have mine.”

Buckingham only replied by throwing on his bonnet, and shaking its lofty plume with a careless and scornful toss of the head. They parted thus; the duke walking onwards through the apartments, and the others leaving the Palace and repairing to Whitehall Stairs, where they embarked on board the barge of the citizen.

Buckingham just responded by putting on his hat and tossing his feathered plume with a casual and disdainful shake of his head. They separated this way; the duke continued on through the rooms, while the others left the Palace and headed to Whitehall Stairs, where they boarded the citizen's barge.










CHAPTER X

  Bid not thy fortune troll upon the wheels
  Of yonder dancing cubes of mottled bone;
  And drown it not, like Egypt's royal harlot,
  Dissolving her rich pearl in the brimm'd wine-cup.
  These are the arts, Lothario, which shrink acres
  Into brief yards—bring sterling pounds to farthings,
  Credit to infamy; and the poor gull,
  Who might have lived an honour'd, easy life,
  To ruin, and an unregarded grave.
              The Changes.
  Don't let your luck get messed up by those dancing dice.
  And don't drown it like Egypt's royal courtesan,
  Dissolving her precious pearl in the full wine cup.
  These are the tricks, Lothario, that shrink vast lands
  Into tiny plots—turn good money into pennies,
  Reputation into disgrace; and the poor fool,
  Who could have lived an honorable, comfortable life,
  Ends up in ruin, and a grave forgotten.
              The Changes.

When they were fairly embarked on the Thames, the earl took from his pocket the Supplication, and, pointing out to George Heriot the royal warrant indorsed thereon, asked him, if it were in due and regular form? The worthy citizen hastily read it over, thrust forth his hand as if to congratulate the Lord Glenvarloch, then checked himself, pulled out his barnacles, (a present from old David Ramsay,) and again perused the warrant with the most business-like and critical attention. “It is strictly correct and formal,” he said, looking to the Earl of Huntinglen; “and I sincerely rejoice at it.”

When they were well underway on the Thames, the earl took the Supplication out of his pocket and, pointing out the royal warrant stamped on it, asked George Heriot if it was in the proper and usual format. The respected citizen quickly read it over, reached out his hand as if to congratulate Lord Glenvarloch, then hesitated, pulled out his spectacles (a gift from old David Ramsay), and examined the warrant with focused and careful attention. “It’s perfectly correct and formal,” he said, looking at the Earl of Huntinglen; “and I’m genuinely happy about it.”

“I doubt nothing of its formality,” said the earl; “the king understands business well, and, if he does not practise it often, it is only because indolence obscures parts which are naturally well qualified for the discharge of affairs. But what is next to be done for our young friend, Master Heriot? You know how I am circumstanced. Scottish lords living at the English Court have seldom command of money; yet, unless a sum can be presently raised on this warrant, matters standing as you hastily hinted to me, the mortgage, wadset, or whatever it is called, will be foreclosed.”

“I have no doubt about its formality,” said the earl. “The king knows business well, and if he doesn’t practice it often, it’s only because laziness hides parts that are naturally suited for handling affairs. But what should we do next for our young friend, Master Heriot? You know my situation. Scottish lords at the English Court rarely have access to funds; yet, unless we can quickly raise some money based on this warrant, as you briefly mentioned, the mortgage or whatever it’s called will be foreclosed.”

“It is true,” said Heriot, in some embarrassment; “there is a large sum wanted in redemption—yet, if it is not raised, there will be an expiry of the legal, as our lawyers call it, and the estate will be evicted.”

“It’s true,” said Heriot, a bit embarrassed; “there’s a significant amount needed for redemption—however, if it’s not raised, there will be an expiration of the legal, as our lawyers say, and the estate will be evicted.”

“My noble—my worthy friends, who have taken up my cause so undeservedly, so unexpectedly,” said Nigel, “do not let me be a burden on your kindness. You have already done too much where nothing was merited.”

“My noble—my worthy friends, who have taken up my cause so undeservedly, so unexpectedly,” said Nigel, “don’t let me be a burden on your kindness. You’ve already done too much when nothing was deserved.”

“Peace, man, peace,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and let old Heriot and I puzzle this scent out. He is about to open—hark to him!”

“Chill out, man,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and let old Heriot and me figure this out. He’s about to start—listen to him!”

“My lord,” said the citizen, “the Duke of Buckingham sneers at our city money-bags; yet they can sometimes open, to prop a falling and a noble house.”

“My lord,” said the citizen, “the Duke of Buckingham mocks our city’s wealth; yet it can sometimes be used to support a declining and noble family.”

“We know they can,” said Lord Huntinglen—“mind not Buckingham, he is a Peg-a-Ramsay—and now for the remedy.”

“We know they can,” said Lord Huntinglen. “Don’t mind Buckingham, he’s a Peg-a-Ramsay—and now for the solution.”

“I partly hinted to Lord Glenvarloch already,” said Heriot, “that the redemption money might be advanced upon such a warrant as the present, and I will engage my credit that it can. But then, in order to secure the lender, he must come in the shoes of the creditor to whom he advances payment.”

“I already hinted to Lord Glenvarloch,” said Heriot, “that the redemption money could be provided based on a warrant like this one, and I can vouch for it. But to protect the lender, they need to step into the shoes of the creditor they are paying.”

“Come in his shoes!” replied the earl; “why, what have boots or shoes to do with this matter, my good friend?”

“Walk in his shoes!” replied the earl; “why, what do boots or shoes have to do with this, my good friend?”

“It is a law phrase, my lord. My experience has made me pick up a few of them,” said Heriot.

“It’s a legal term, my lord. My experience has taught me a few of them,” said Heriot.

“Ay, and of better things along with them, Master George,” replied Lord Huntinglen; “but what means it?”

“Yeah, and of better things along with them, Master George,” replied Lord Huntinglen; “but what does it mean?”

“Simply this,” resumed the citizen; “that the lender of this money will transact with the holder of the mortgage, or wadset, over the estate of Glenvarloch, and obtain from him such a conveyance to his right as shall leave the lands pledged for the debt, in case the warrant upon the Scottish Exchequer should prove unproductive. I fear, in this uncertainty of public credit, that without some such counter security, it will be very difficult to find so large a sum.”

“Simply this,” continued the citizen; “the person lending this money will deal with the owner of the mortgage or wadset on the Glenvarloch estate and get from them a transfer of rights that will keep the lands secured for the debt, in case the guarantee from the Scottish Exchequer turns out to be ineffective. I worry that, given the instability of public credit, it will be quite challenging to find such a large amount without some sort of additional security.”

“Ho la!” said the Earl of Huntinglen, “halt there! a thought strikes me.—What if the new creditor should admire the estate as a hunting-field, as much as my Lord Grace of Buckingham seems to do, and should wish to kill a buck there in the summer season? It seems to me, that on your plan, Master George, our new friend will be as well entitled to block Lord Glenvarloch out of his inheritance as the present holder of the mortgage.”

“Hey there!” said the Earl of Huntinglen, “stop! I just had an idea. What if the new creditor likes the estate as much as a hunting ground, just like my Lord Grace of Buckingham seems to? What if he wants to hunt a buck there in the summer? It seems to me, under your plan, Master George, our new friend would have just as much right to keep Lord Glenvarloch from his inheritance as the current holder of the mortgage.”

The citizen laughed. “I will engage,” he said, “that the keenest sportsman to whom I may apply on this occasion, shall not have a thought beyond the Lord Mayor's Easter-Hunt, in Epping Forest. But your lordship's caution is reasonable. The creditor must be bound to allow Lord Glenvarloch sufficient time to redeem his estate by means of the royal warrant, and must wave in his favour the right of instant foreclosure, which may be, I should think, the more easily managed, as the right of redemption must be exercised in his own name.”

The citizen laughed. "I bet," he said, "that the best sportsman I can find for this occasion won’t think about anything other than the Lord Mayor's Easter Hunt in Epping Forest. But your lordship’s caution makes sense. The creditor must agree to give Lord Glenvarloch enough time to reclaim his estate using the royal warrant and must set aside the right to foreclose immediately, which I think should be easier to arrange since the right to redeem needs to be done in his own name."

“But where shall we find a person in London fit to draw the necessary writings?” said the earl. “If my old friend Sir John Skene of Halyards had lived, we should have had his advice; but time presses, and—”

“But where are we going to find someone in London who can draft the necessary documents?” said the earl. “If my old friend Sir John Skene of Halyards were still alive, we would have had his advice; but time is running out, and—”

“I know,” said Heriot, “an orphan lad, a scrivener, that dwells by Temple Bar; he can draw deeds both after the English and Scottish fashion, and I have trusted him often in matters of weight and of importance. I will send one of my serving-men for him, and the mutual deeds may be executed in your lordship's presence; for, as things stand, there should be no delay.” His lordship readily assented; and, as they now landed upon the private stairs leading down to the river from the gardens of the handsome hotel which he inhabited, the messenger was dispatched without loss of time.

“I know,” said Heriot, “of a young orphan who works as a clerk and lives by Temple Bar; he can draft documents in both English and Scottish styles, and I have often relied on him for important matters. I’ll send one of my servants to get him, and we can sign the documents in your presence; given the circumstances, we shouldn’t delay.” His lordship agreed quickly, and as they reached the private staircase leading down to the river from the beautiful hotel he lived in, the messenger was sent without wasting any time.

Nigel, who had sat almost stupefied while these zealous friends volunteered for him in arranging the measures by which his fortune was to be disembarrassed, now made another eager attempt to force upon them his broken expressions of thanks and gratitude. But he was again silenced by Lord Huntinglen, who declared he would not hear a word on that topic, and proposed instead, that they should take a turn in the pleached alley, or sit upon the stone bench which overlooked the Thames, until his son's arrival should give the signal for dinner.

Nigel, who had sat almost in shock while these eager friends offered to help him sort out the issues with his fortune, now made another heartfelt attempt to express his thanks and gratitude. However, he was once more interrupted by Lord Huntinglen, who insisted that he wouldn’t hear another word on that subject. Instead, he suggested they take a walk in the garden path or sit on the stone bench that faced the Thames until his son arrived to signal for dinner.

“I desire to introduce Dalgarno and Lord Glenvarloch to each other,” he said, “as two who will be near neighbours, and I trust will be more kind ones than their fathers were formerly. There is but three Scots miles betwixt the castles, and the turrets of the one are visible from the battlements of the other.”

“I want to introduce Dalgarno and Lord Glenvarloch to each other,” he said, “as they will be close neighbors, and I hope they will be kinder to each other than their fathers were in the past. There are only three Scottish miles between the castles, and you can see the turrets of one from the battlements of the other.”

The old earl was silent for a moment, and appeared to muse upon the recollections which the vicinity of the castles had summoned up.

The old earl was quiet for a moment and seemed to be lost in thought about the memories that the nearby castles had stirred up.

“Does Lord Dalgarno follow the Court to Newmarket next week?” said Heriot, by way of removing the conversation.

“Is Lord Dalgarno going to Newmarket with the Court next week?” Heriot asked, trying to change the subject.

“He proposes so, I think,” answered Lord Huntinglen, relapsed into his reverie for a minute or two, and then addressed Nigel somewhat abruptly—

“He suggests that, I think,” replied Lord Huntinglen, drifting back into his thoughts for a minute or two, and then spoke to Nigel somewhat suddenly—

“My young friend, when you attain possession of your inheritance, as I hope you soon will, I trust you will not add one to the idle followers of the Court, but reside on your patrimonial estate, cherish your ancient tenants, relieve and assist your poor kinsmen, protect the poor against subaltern oppression, and do what our fathers used to do, with fewer lights and with less means than we have.”

“My young friend, when you get your inheritance, which I hope you will soon, I trust you won’t just join the idle crowd at the Court, but instead live on your family estate, care for your long-time tenants, help your less fortunate relatives, protect the poor from unfair treatment, and do what our ancestors did, even with fewer resources and less knowledge than we have now.”

“And yet the advice to keep the country,” said Heriot, “comes from an ancient and constant ornament of the Court.”

“And yet the advice to maintain the country,” said Heriot, “comes from a long-standing and consistent presence in the Court.”

“From an old courtier, indeed,” said the earl, “and the first of my family that could so write himself—my grey beard falls on a cambric ruff and a silken doublet—my father's descended upon a buff coat and a breast-plate. I would not that those days of battle returned; but I should love well to make the oaks of my old forest of Dalgarno ring once more with halloo, and horn, and hound, and to have the old stone-arched hall return the hearty shout of my vassals and tenants, as the bicker and the quaigh walked their rounds amongst them. I should like to see the broad Tay once more before I die—not even the Thames can match it, in my mind.”

“From an old courtier, for sure,” said the earl, “and the first in my family to write like this—my grey beard rests on a cambric collar and a silk jacket—my father wore a buff coat and a breastplate. I wouldn't want those days of battle to come back; but I would love to hear the oaks of my old forest of Dalgarno echo with shouts, horns, and hounds again, and to have the old stone-arched hall resonate with the cheerful voices of my vassals and tenants as the bicker and the quaigh made their rounds among them. I would like to see the broad Tay one more time before I die—not even the Thames can compare, in my opinion.”

“Surely, my lord,” said the citizen, “all this might be easily done—it costs but a moment's resolution, and the journey of some brief days, and you will be where you desire to be—what is there to prevent you?”

“Of course, my lord,” said the citizen, “this can be done easily—it just takes a moment of courage and a short journey of a few days, and you’ll be where you want to be—what’s stopping you?”

“Habits, Master George, habits,” replied the earl, “which to young men are like threads of silk, so lightly are they worn, so soon broken; but which hang on our old limbs as if time had stiffened them into gyves of iron. To go to Scotland for a brief space were but labour in vain; and when I think of abiding there, I cannot bring myself to leave my old master, to whom I fancy myself sometimes useful, and whose weal and woe I have shared for so many years. But Dalgarno shall be a Scottish noble.”

“Habits, Master George, habits,” the earl replied, “which are like threads of silk to young men; they're worn so lightly and break so easily. But they cling to our older limbs as if time has turned them into chains of iron. Going to Scotland for a short time would be a pointless effort; and when I consider staying there, I just can't bring myself to leave my old master, who I sometimes feel I’m useful to, and whose joys and sorrows I’ve shared for so many years. But Dalgarno will be a Scottish noble.”

“Has he visited the North?” said Heriot.

“Has he been to the North?” said Heriot.

“He was there last year and made such a report of the country, that the prince has expressed a longing to see it.”

“He was there last year and made such a report on the country that the prince has shown a desire to see it.”

“Lord Dalgarno is in high grace with his Highness and the Duke of Buckingham?” observed the goldsmith.

“Lord Dalgarno is in high favor with his Highness and the Duke of Buckingham?” noted the goldsmith.

“He is so,” answered the earl,—“I pray it may be for the advantage of them all. The prince is just and equitable in his sentiments, though cold and stately in his manners, and very obstinate in his most trifling purposes; and the duke, noble and gallant, and generous and open, is fiery, ambitious, and impetuous. Dalgarno has none of these faults, and such as he may have of his own, may perchance be corrected by the society in which he moves.—See, here he comes.”

“He is indeed,” answered the earl, “I hope it benefits everyone. The prince is fair and just in his thoughts, even though he’s a bit cold and formal in his behavior, and very stubborn about the smallest things; and the duke, noble and brave, generous and straightforward, is passionate, ambitious, and impulsive. Dalgarno doesn’t share any of these flaws, and any issues he might have could possibly be adjusted by the company he keeps. —Look, here he comes.”

Lord Dalgarno accordingly advanced from the farther end of the alley to the bench on which his father and his guests were seated, so that Nigel had full leisure to peruse his countenance and figure. He was dressed point-device, and almost to extremity, in the splendid fashion of the time, which suited well with his age, probably about five-and-twenty, with a noble form and fine countenance, in which last could easily be traced the manly features of his father, but softened by a more habitual air of assiduous courtesy than the stubborn old earl had ever condescended to assume towards the world in general. In other respects, his address was gallant, free, and unencumbered either by pride or ceremony—far remote certainly from the charge either of haughty coldness or forward impetuosity; and so far his father had justly freed him from the marked faults which he ascribed to the manners of the prince and his favourite Buckingham.

Lord Dalgarno walked from the far end of the alley to the bench where his father and their guests were sitting, giving Nigel plenty of time to take in his appearance. He was dressed impeccably, almost to the extreme, in the extravagant style of the time, which suited his age well—probably around twenty-five—with a noble build and attractive face. You could easily see the masculine features of his father in him, but they were softened by a more habitual demeanor of attentive politeness than the stubborn old earl ever bothered to show the world. In other ways, his demeanor was charming, relaxed, and unburdened by pride or formality—definitely not fitting the description of haughty coldness or brash impulsiveness; and in this regard, his father had rightly relieved him of the notable flaws he attributed to the behaviors of the prince and his favorite, Buckingham.

While the old earl presented his young acquaintance Lord Glenvarloch to his son, as one whom he would have him love and honour, Nigel marked the countenance of Lord Dalgarno closely, to see if he could detect aught of that secret dislike which the king had, in one of his broken expostulations, seemed to intimate, as arising from a clashing of interests betwixt his new friend and the great Buckingham. But nothing of this was visible; on the contrary, Lord Dalgarno received his new acquaintance with the open frankness and courtesy which makes conquest at once, when addressed to the feelings of an ingenuous young man.

While the old earl introduced his young friend Lord Glenvarloch to his son, encouraging him to love and respect him, Nigel closely observed Lord Dalgarno’s expression to see if he could detect any of the secret dislike that the king had hinted at during one of his outbursts, suggesting it stemmed from a conflict of interests between his new friend and the influential Buckingham. However, there was no sign of this; on the contrary, Lord Dalgarno welcomed his new friend with the genuine openness and courtesy that can easily win over an impressionable young man.

It need hardly be told that his open and friendly address met equally ready and cheerful acceptation from Nigel Olifaunt. For many months, and while a youth not much above two-and-twenty, he had been restrained by circumstances from the conversation of his equals. When, on his father's sudden death, he left the Low Countries for Scotland, he had found himself involved, to all appearance inextricably, with the details of the law, all of which threatened to end in the alienation of the patrimony which should support his hereditary rank. His term of sincere mourning, joined to injured pride, and the swelling of the heart under unexpected and undeserved misfortune, together with the uncertainty attending the issue of his affairs, had induced the young Lord of Glenvarloch to live, while in Scotland, in a very private and reserved manner. How he had passed his time in London, the reader is acquainted with. But this melancholy and secluded course of life was neither agreeable to his age nor to his temper, which was genial and sociable. He hailed, therefore, with sincere pleasure, the approaches which a young man of his own age and rank made towards him; and when he had exchanged with Lord Dalgarno some of those words and signals by which, as surely as by those of freemasonry, young people recognise a mutual wish to be agreeable to each other, it seemed as if the two noblemen had been acquainted for some time.

It's hardly necessary to mention that his open and friendly way of speaking was met with equally eager and cheerful acceptance from Nigel Olifaunt. For many months, while he was just over twenty, he had been kept from socializing with his peers due to circumstances. When his father suddenly passed away, he left the Low Countries for Scotland and found himself seemingly trapped in complicated legal matters, all of which threatened to result in the loss of his family’s estate that should support his noble status. His genuine period of mourning, along with feelings of wounded pride and the burden of unexpected and undeserved misfortune, combined with the uncertainty of his situation, led the young Lord of Glenvarloch to live very privately and reservedly while in Scotland. The reader is already familiar with how he spent his time in London. However, this sad and secluded lifestyle was neither suited to his age nor his cheerful and social nature. Therefore, he welcomed with genuine pleasure the efforts of a young man of his own age and rank to connect with him. When he exchanged some words and signals with Lord Dalgarno—those cues by which young people, much like those of freemasonry, recognize a mutual desire to be friendly—it felt as if the two noblemen had known each other for quite some time.

Just as this tacit intercourse had been established, one of Lord Huntinglen's attendants came down the alley, marshalling onwards a man dressed in black buckram, who followed him with tolerable speed, considering that, according to his sense of reverence and propriety, he kept his body bent and parallel to the horizon from the moment that he came in sight of the company to which he was about to be presented.

Just as this unspoken connection was formed, one of Lord Huntinglen's servants came down the path, leading a man dressed in black fabric, who followed him reasonably quickly, especially since he maintained a bowed posture parallel to the ground from the moment he spotted the group he was about to join.

“Who is this, you cuckoldy knave,” said the old lord, who had retained the keen appetite and impatience of a Scottish baron even during a long alienation from his native country; “and why does John Cook, with a murrain to him, keep back dinner?”

“Who is this, you untrustworthy fool,” said the old lord, who still had the sharp appetite and impatience of a Scottish baron despite being away from his homeland for a long time; “and why is John Cook, with a curse on him, delaying dinner?”

“I believe we are ourselves responsible for this person's intrusion,” said George Heriot; “this is the scrivener whom we desired to see.—Look up, man, and see us in the face as an honest man should, instead of beating thy noddle charged against us thus, like a battering-ram.”

“I think we’re to blame for this person coming in,” said George Heriot; “this is the writer we wanted to see. —Look up, man, and face us like an honest person should, instead of banging your head against us like a battering ram.”

The scrivener did look up accordingly, with the action of an automaton which suddenly obeys the impulse of a pressed spring. But, strange to tell, not even the haste he had made to attend his patron's mandate, a business, as Master Heriot's message expressed, of weight and importance—nay not even the state of depression in which, out of sheer humility, doubtless, he had his head stooped to the earth, from the moment he had trod the demesnes of the Earl of Huntinglen, had called any colour into his countenance. The drops stood on his brow from haste and toil, but his cheek was still pale and tallow-coloured as before; nay, what seemed stranger, his very hair, when he raised his head, hung down on either cheek as straight and sleek and undisturbed as it was when we first introduced him to our readers, seated at his quiet and humble desk.

The scrivener looked up like a machine that suddenly responds to a pressed button. But, oddly enough, not even the rush he made to follow his patron's orders—something, as Master Heriot's message said, of significant importance—nor the deep humility that had him keeping his head down since he stepped onto the Earl of Huntinglen's land, changed the color of his face. Sweat beaded on his forehead from the hurry and hard work, but his cheeks remained as pale and waxy as before; in fact, what seemed even stranger was that when he lifted his head, his hair fell neatly on either side of his face, just as smooth and unruffled as when we first introduced him to our readers, sitting at his quiet and humble desk.

Lord Dalgarno could not forbear a stifled laugh at the ridiculous and puritanical figure which presented itself like a starved anatomy to the company, and whispered at the same time into Lord Glenvarloch's ear—

Lord Dalgarno couldn't help but stifle a laugh at the ridiculous and overly strict figure that looked like a malnourished skeleton to the group, and at the same time, whispered into Lord Glenvarloch's ear—

     “The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon,
      Where got'st thou that goose-look?”
 
     “The devil curse you, you pale-faced fool,  
      Where did you get that vacant look?”

Nigel was too little acquainted with the English stage to understand a quotation which had already grown matter of common allusion in London. Lord Dalgarno saw that he was not understood, and continued, “That fellow, by his visage, should either be a saint, or a most hypocritical rogue—and such is my excellent opinion of human nature, that I always suspect the worst. But they seem deep in business. Will you take a turn with me in the garden, my lord, or will you remain a member of the serious conclave?”

Nigel didn’t know enough about the English theater to get a reference that was already a common saying in London. Lord Dalgarno noticed he didn’t understand and continued, “That guy, by his looks, should either be a saint or a complete fraud—and given my high opinion of human nature, I always suspect the worst. But they seem busy with something serious. Do you want to take a walk in the garden with me, my lord, or do you want to stay with the serious group?”

“With you, my lord, most willingly,” said Nigel; and they were turning away accordingly, when George Heriot, with the formality belonging to his station, observed, that, “as their business concerned Lord Glenvarloch, he had better remain, to make himself master of it, and witness to it.”

“With you, my lord, absolutely,” said Nigel; and they were about to turn away when George Heriot, with the formality that came with his role, remarked that, “since their business involved Lord Glenvarloch, he should stay to understand it and witness it.”

“My presence is utterly needless, my good lord;-and, my best friend, Master Heriot,” said the young nobleman, “I shall understand nothing the better for cumbering you with my ignorance in these matters; and can only say at the end, as I now say at the beginning, that I dare not take the helm out of the hand of the kind pilots who have already guided my course within sight of a fair and unhoped-for haven. Whatever you recommend to me as fitting, I shall sign and seal; and the import of the deeds I shall better learn by a brief explanation from Master Heriot, if he will bestow so much trouble in my behalf, than by a thousand learned words and law terms from this person of skill.”

“My presence is completely unnecessary, my good lord; and, my best friend, Master Heriot,” said the young nobleman, “I won’t understand anything better by burdening you with my lack of knowledge in these matters; and I can only say at the end, as I’m saying now at the beginning, that I won’t take the helm from the kind pilots who have already guided me close to a fair and unexpected haven. Whatever you suggest as appropriate, I will sign and seal; and I’ll understand the meaning of the documents better with a brief explanation from Master Heriot, if he doesn’t mind putting in that effort for me, than with a thousand complicated words and legal terms from this expert.”

“He is right,” said Lord Huntinglen; “our young friend is right, in confiding these matters to you and me, Master George Heriot—he has not misplaced his confidence.”

“He's right,” said Lord Huntinglen; “our young friend is right to trust us with these matters, Master George Heriot—he hasn't made a mistake in his confidence.”

Master George Heriot cast a long look after the two young noblemen, who had now walked down the alley arm-in-arm, and at length said, “He hath not, indeed, misplaced his confidence, as your lordship well and truly says—but, nevertheless, he is not in the right path; for it behoves every man to become acquainted with his own affairs, so soon as he hath any that are worth attending to.”

Master George Heriot watched the two young noblemen walk down the alley arm-in-arm and finally said, “He hasn’t misplaced his trust, as you rightly say—but he’s still not on the right track; it’s important for every man to understand his own business as soon as he has any that are worth paying attention to.”

When he had made this observation, they applied themselves, with the scrivener, to look into various papers, and to direct in what manner writings should be drawn, which might at once afford sufficient security to those who were to advance the money, and at the same time preserve the right of the young nobleman to redeem the family estate, provided he should obtain the means of doing so, by the expected reimbursement from the Scottish Exchequer, or otherwise. It is needless to enter into those details. But it is not unimportant to mention, as an illustration of character, that Heriot went into the most minute legal details with a precision which showed that experience had made him master even of the intricacies of Scottish conveyancing; and that the Earl of Huntinglen, though far less acquainted with technical detail, suffered no step of the business to pass over, until he had attained a general but distinct idea of its import and its propriety.

When he made this observation, they teamed up with the scrivener to go through various documents and figure out how to draft writings that would both provide enough security for those lending the money and still allow the young nobleman to reclaim the family estate if he could find a way to do so, whether through the expected reimbursement from the Scottish Exchequer or another means. There’s no need to go into those details. However, it’s worth noting, as a point of character, that Heriot got into the most minute legal specifics with a precision that showed his experience had made him an expert in the complexities of Scottish conveyancing; and that the Earl of Huntinglen, while not as familiar with the technical details, didn’t let any part of the process go by without first achieving a clear overall understanding of its significance and appropriateness.

They seemed to be admirably seconded in their benevolent intentions towards the young Lord Glenvarloch, by the skill and eager zeal of the scrivener, whom Heriot had introduced to this piece of business, the most important which Andrew had ever transacted in his life, and the particulars of which were moreover agitated in his presence between an actual earl, and one whose wealth and character might entitle him to be an alderman of his ward, if not to be lord mayor, in his turn.

They seemed to be well-supported in their good intentions towards the young Lord Glenvarloch by the talent and enthusiasm of the scrivener, whom Heriot had brought into this matter, the most significant one Andrew had ever handled in his life. The details of this situation were also discussed in his presence between an actual earl and someone whose wealth and reputation could qualify him to be an alderman of his ward, if not the lord mayor, in due time.

While they were thus in eager conversation on business, the good earl even forgetting the calls of his appetite, and the delay of dinner, in his anxiety to see that the scrivener received proper instructions, and that all was rightly weighed and considered, before dismissing him to engross the necessary deeds, the two young men walked together on the terrace which overhung the river, and talked on the topics which Lord Dalgarno, the elder, and the more experienced, thought most likely to interest his new friend.

While they were in intense discussion about business, the good earl even forgot his hunger and the dinner delay, focused on making sure the scrivener got the right instructions and that everything was carefully considered before sending him off to finalize the necessary documents. Meanwhile, the two young men strolled together on the terrace overlooking the river, discussing the topics that Lord Dalgarno, the older and more experienced of the two, believed would engage his new friend the most.

These naturally regarded the pleasures attending a Court life; and Lord Dalgarno expressed much surprise at understanding that Nigel proposed an instant return to Scotland.

These were naturally considering the pleasures of court life; and Lord Dalgarno expressed great surprise at hearing that Nigel planned to return to Scotland immediately.

“You are jesting with me,” he said. “All the Court rings—it is needless to mince it—with the extraordinary success of your suit—against the highest interest, it is said, now influencing the horizon at Whitehall. Men think of you—talk of you—fix their eyes on you—ask each other, who is this young Scottish lord, who has stepped so far in a single day? They augur, in whispers to each other, how high and how far you may push your fortune—and all that you design to make of it, is, to return to Scotland, eat raw oatmeal cakes, baked upon a peat-fire, have your hand shaken by every loon of a blue-bonnet who chooses to dub you cousin, though your relationship comes by Noah; drink Scots twopenny ale, eat half-starved red-deer venison, when you can kill it, ride upon a galloway, and be called my right honourable and maist worthy lord!”

“You're joking with me,” he said. “Everyone at Court is talking about it—it’s hard to deny—the incredible success of your case—against what they say is a powerful influence at Whitehall. People are thinking of you—talking about you—watching you—asking each other, who is this young Scottish lord, who has achieved so much in just one day? They whisper to each other about how high and far you might take your fortune—and all you plan to do with it is go back to Scotland, eat raw oat cakes baked over a peat fire, shake hands with every guy in a blue bonnet who decides to call you cousin, even if your connection goes back to Noah; drink Scots two-penny ale, eat half-starved red deer venison when you can hunt it, ride a galloway, and be called my right honorable and most worthy lord!”

“There is no great gaiety in the prospect before me, I confess,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “even if your father and good Master Heriot should succeed in putting my affairs on some footing of plausible hope. And yet I trust to do something for my vassals as my ancestors before me, and to teach my children, as I have myself been taught, to make some personal sacrifices, if they be necessary, in order to maintain with dignity the situation in which they are placed by Providence.”

“There isn’t much excitement in what lies ahead, I admit,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “even if your father and good Master Heriot manage to set my affairs on a more hopeful path. Still, I hope to do something for my vassals like my ancestors did before me, and to teach my children, just as I was taught, to make personal sacrifices, if needed, to uphold the dignity of the position Providence has placed them in.”

Lord Dalgarno, after having once or twice stifled his laughter during this speech, at length broke out into a fit of mirth, so hearty and so resistless, that, angry as he was, the call of sympathy swept Nigel along with him, and despite of himself, he could not forbear to join in a burst of laughter, which he thought not only causeless, but almost impertinent.

Lord Dalgarno, after stifling his laughter once or twice during this speech, finally erupted into such a fit of uncontrollable laughter that, despite his anger, Nigel couldn't help but be swept up in it. He found himself laughing too, even though he thought it was both pointless and a bit rude.

He soon recollected himself, however, and said, in a tone qualified to allay Lord Dalgarno's extreme mirth: “This is all well, my lord; but how am I to understand your merriment?” Lord Dalgarno only answered him with redoubled peals of laughter, and at length held by Lord Glenvarloch's cloak, as if to prevent his falling down on the ground, in the extremity of his convulsion.

He quickly got a hold of himself, though, and said, in a tone meant to calm Lord Dalgarno's intense laughter: “This is all good, my lord; but how am I supposed to understand your amusement?” Lord Dalgarno just responded with even more laughter, and eventually grabbed onto Lord Glenvarloch's cloak, as if to stop him from collapsing on the ground from laughing so hard.

At length, while Nigel stood half abashed, half angry, at becoming thus the subject of his new acquaintance's ridicule, and was only restrained from expressing his resentment against the son, by a sense of the obligations he owed the father, Lord Dalgarno recovered himself, and spoke in a half-broken voice, his eyes still running with tears: “I crave your pardon, my dear Lord Glenvarloch—ten thousand times do I crave your pardon. But that last picture of rural dignity, accompanied by your grave and angry surprise at my laughing at what would have made any court-bred hound laugh, that had but so much as bayed the moon once from the court-yard at Whitehall, totally overcame me. Why, my liefest and dearest lord, you, a young and handsome fellow, with high birth, a title, and the name of an estate, so well received by the king at your first starting, as makes your further progress scarce matter of doubt, if you know how to improve it—for the king has already said you are a 'braw lad, and well studied in the more humane letters'—you, too, whom all the women, and the very marked beauties of the Court, desire to see, because you came from Leyden, were born in Scotland, and have gained a hard-contested suit in England—you, I say, with a person like a prince, an eye of fire, and a wit as quick, to think of throwing your cards on the table when the game is in your very hand, running back to the frozen north, and marrying—let me see—a tall, stalking, blue-eyed, fair-skinned bony wench, with eighteen quarters in her scutcheon, a sort of Lot's wife, newly descended from her pedestal, and with her to shut yourself up in your tapestried chamber! Uh, gad!—Swouns, I shall never survive the idea!”

Finally, while Nigel stood there feeling both embarrassed and angry at being the target of his new friend's laughter, held back only by the respect he felt for the father, Lord Dalgarno regained his composure and spoke in a shaky voice, tears still in his eyes: “I’m so sorry, my dear Lord Glenvarloch—ten thousand times sorry. But that last image of rural dignity, combined with your serious and angry reaction to my laughter at something that would have made any court-bred fool laugh, completely overwhelmed me. Why, my dearest lord, you—a young, handsome guy, with noble birth, a title, and the name of an estate—were received so well by the king from the start that your future success is hardly in doubt, if you know how to use it—since the king has already said you're a 'fine lad, and well-versed in the more gentle arts'—you, who all the women, including the beautiful ones at court, want to meet because you’re from Leyden, born in Scotland, and have triumphed in a tough legal battle in England—you, I mean, with the looks of a prince, fiery eyes, and a quick wit, would think of giving up your advantage at a game and running back to the cold north to marry—let me see—a tall, lanky, blue-eyed, fair-skinned girl with eighteen quarters in her coat of arms, a sort of Lot’s wife, just stepping down from her pedestal, and then to lock yourself away with her in your fancy room! Oh, my god! I can't even handle the thought of it!”

It is seldom that youth, however high-minded, is able, from mere strength of character and principle, to support itself against the force of ridicule. Half angry, half mortified, and, to say truth, half ashamed of his more manly and better purpose, Nigel was unable, and flattered himself it was unnecessary, to play the part of a rigid moral patriot, in presence of a young man whose current fluency of language, as well as his experience in the highest circles of society, gave him, in spite of Nigel's better and firmer thoughts, a temporary ascendency over him. He sought, therefore, to compromise the matter, and avoid farther debate, by frankly owning, that, if to return to his own country were not his choice, it was at least a matter of necessity. “His affairs,” he said, “were unsettled, his income precarious.”

It’s rare for young people, no matter how idealistic, to withstand the impact of ridicule purely through their strong character and principles. Half angry, half embarrassed, and honestly, half ashamed of his more mature and noble intentions, Nigel found it difficult—and convinced himself it was unnecessary—to act as a strict moral advocate in front of a young man whose smooth talk and experience in high society gave him, despite Nigel’s stronger and clearer thoughts, a temporary edge. So, he tried to reach a compromise and avoid further argument by openly admitting that, if returning to his own country wasn’t his preference, it was definitely a necessity. “My situation,” he said, “is unsettled, and my income is unstable.”

“And where is he whose affairs are settled, or whose income is less than precarious, that is to be found in attendance on the Court?” said Lord Dalgarno; “all are either losing or winning. Those who have wealth, come hither to get rid of it, while the happy gallants, who, like you and I, dear Glenvarloch, have little or none, have every chance to be sharers in their spoils.”

“And where is the person whose life is all figured out, or whose income is anything but uncertain, that you would find at the Court?” said Lord Dalgarno; “everyone is either gaining or losing. Those who have money come here to lose it, while the lucky young men, like you and me, dear Glenvarloch, who have little or none, have every chance to benefit from their losses.”

“I have no ambition of that sort,” said Nigel, “and if I had, I must tell you plainly, Lord Dalgarno, I have not the means to do so. I can scarce as yet call the suit I wear my own; I owe it, and I do riot blush to say so, to the friendship of yonder good man.”

“I have no ambition like that,” said Nigel, “and even if I did, I have to be honest with you, Lord Dalgarno, I don’t have the resources to pursue it. I can hardly say that the clothes I’m wearing are truly mine; I owe them, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it, to the kindness of that good man over there.”

“I will not laugh again, if I can help it,” said Lord Dalgarno. “But, Lord! that you should have gone to a wealthy goldsmith for your habit—why, I could have brought you to an honest, confiding tailor, who should have furnished you with half-a-dozen, merely for love of the little word, 'lordship,' which you place before your name;—and then your goldsmith, if he be really a friendly goldsmith, should have equipped you with such a purse of fair rose-nobles as would have bought you thrice as many suits, or done better things for you.”

“I won’t laugh again, if I can avoid it,” said Lord Dalgarno. “But, really! You went to an expensive goldsmith for your outfit—why, I could have introduced you to a trustworthy, skilled tailor who would have given you half a dozen suits, just because of the little word, ‘lordship,’ that you use before your name;—and then your goldsmith, if he’s truly a friendly one, could have provided you with a purse full of nice rose-nobles that would have bought you three times as many suits, or done even better things for you.”

“I do not understand these fashions, my lord,” said Nigel, his displeasure mastering his shame; “were I to attend the Court of my sovereign, it should be when I could maintain, without shifting or borrowing, the dress and retinue which my rank requires.”

“I don't get these styles, my lord,” said Nigel, his annoyance overtaking his embarrassment; “if I were to go to my sovereign's court, it should be when I can confidently wear the attire and have the entourage that my position demands.”

“Which my rank requires!” said Lord Dalgarno, repeating his last words; “that, now, is as good as if my father had spoke it. I fancy you would love to move to Court with him, followed by a round score of old blue-bottles, with white heads and red noses, with bucklers and broadswords, which their hands, trembling betwixt age and strong waters, can make no use of—as many huge silver badges on their arms, to show whose fools they are, as would furnish forth a court cupboard of plate—rogues fit for nothing but to fill our ante-chambers with the flavour of onions and genievre—pah!”

“Which my rank demands!” said Lord Dalgarno, echoing his last words; “that, now, is just as good as if my father had said it. I imagine you would love to move to Court with him, followed by a bunch of old cronies, with white hair and red noses, carrying shields and broadswords that their hands, shaking from age and too much drink, can't even use—wearing so many big silver badges on their arms to show whose buffoons they are, it could fill a display cabinet with silverware—good-for-nothings fit only to fill our waiting rooms with the smell of onions and gin—ugh!”

“The poor knaves!” said Lord Glenvarloch; “they have served your father, it may be, in the wars. What would become of them were he to turn them off?”

“The poor guys!” said Lord Glenvarloch; “they might have served your father in the wars. What would happen to them if he just let them go?”

“Why, let them go to the hospital,” said Dalgarno, “or to the bridge-end, to sell switches. The king is a better man than my father, and you see those who have served in HIS wars do so every day; or, when their blue coats were well worn out, they would make rare scarecrows. Here is a fellow, now, comes down the walk; the stoutest raven dared not come within a yard of that copper nose. I tell you, there is more service, as you will soon see, in my valet of the chamber, and such a lither lad as my page Lutin, than there is in a score of these old memorials of the Douglas wars, [Footnote: The cruel civil wars waged by the Scottish barons during the minority of James VI., had the name from the figure made in them by the celebrated James Douglas, Earl of Morton. Both sides executed their prisoners without mercy or favour.] where they cut each other's throats for the chance of finding twelve pennies Scots on the person of the slain. Marry, my lord, to make amends, they will eat mouldy victuals, and drink stale ale, as if their bellies were puncheons.—But the dinner-bell is going to sound—hark, it is clearing its rusty throat, with a preliminary jowl. That is another clamorous relic of antiquity, that, were I master, should soon be at the bottom of the Thames. How the foul fiend can it interest the peasants and mechanics in the Strand, to know that the Earl of Huntinglen is sitting down to dinner? But my father looks our way—we must not be late for the grace, or we shall be in DIS-grace, if you will forgive a quibble which would have made his Majesty laugh. You will find us all of a piece, and, having been accustomed to eat in saucers abroad, I am ashamed you should witness our larded capons, our mountains of beef, and oceans of brewis, as large as Highland hills and lochs; but you shall see better cheer to-morrow. Where lodge you? I will call for you. I must be your guide through the peopled desert, to certain enchanted lands, which you will scarce discover without chart and pilot. Where lodge you?”

“Let them go to the hospital,” said Dalgarno, “or to the bridge-end to sell switches. The king is a better man than my father, and you see those who have served in HIS wars do it every day; or, when their blue coats are worn out, they become rare scarecrows. Here comes a guy down the walkway; even the bravest raven wouldn’t come within a yard of that copper nose. I tell you, there’s more value, as you’ll soon see, in my valet of the chamber and my agile page Lutin than in a whole bunch of those old reminders of the Douglas wars, where they cut each other's throats for a chance to find twelve pennies Scots on the slain. My lord, to make up for that, they’ll eat moldy food and drink stale ale, as if their stomachs were barrels. But the dinner bell is about to ring—listen, it’s clearing its rusty throat with a preliminary jowl. That’s another loud relic of the past, that, if I were in charge, would soon find its way to the bottom of the Thames. How the devil does it interest the peasants and workers in the Strand to know that the Earl of Huntinglen is sitting down to dinner? But my father is looking our way—we must not be late for grace, or we’ll be in DIS-grace, if you’ll forgive a pun that would have made his Majesty laugh. You’ll find us all of a kind, and having gotten used to eating from saucers abroad, I’m embarrassed for you to witness our stuffed capons, our mountains of beef, and oceans of brewis, as large as Highland hills and lochs; but you’ll see better food tomorrow. Where are you staying? I’ll come by for you. I must be your guide through this crowded desert to certain enchanted lands, which you’ll hardly discover without a map and navigator. Where are you staying?”

“I will meet you in Paul's,” said Nigel, a good deal embarrassed, “at any hour you please to name.”

“I'll meet you at Paul's,” said Nigel, feeling quite embarrassed, “at whatever time you want.”

“O, you would be private,” said the young lord; “nay, fear not me—I will be no intruder. But we have attained this huge larder of flesh, fowl, and fish. I marvel the oaken boards groan not under it.”

“O, you want to be alone,” said the young lord; “don’t worry about me—I won’t intrude. But we’ve got this massive supply of meat, poultry, and fish. I’m surprised the wooden shelves aren’t creaking under it.”

They had indeed arrived in the dining-parlour of the mansion, where the table was superabundantly loaded, and where the number of attendants, to a certain extent, vindicated the sarcasms of the young nobleman. The chaplain, and Sir Mungo Malagrowther, were of the party. The latter complimented Lord Glenvarloch upon the impression he had made at Court. “One would have thought ye had brought the apple of discord in your pouch, my lord, or that you were the very firebrand of whilk Althea was delivered, and that she had lain-in in a barrel of gunpowder, for the king, and the prince, and the duke, have been by the lugs about ye, and so have many more, that kendna before this blessed day that there was such a man living on the face of the earth.”

They had indeed arrived in the dining room of the mansion, where the table was overflowing with food, and where the number of attendants somewhat justified the young nobleman's sarcasm. The chaplain and Sir Mungo Malagrowther were part of the group. The latter complimented Lord Glenvarloch on the impression he had made at Court. “One would have thought you brought the apple of discord in your pocket, my lord, or that you were the very firebrand from which Althea was delivered, and that she had given birth in a barrel of gunpowder, because the king, and the prince, and the duke have been all over you, along with many others who didn’t even know such a man existed until this blessed day.”

“Mind your victuals, Sir Mungo,” said the earl; “they get cold while you talk.”

“Watch your food, Sir Mungo,” said the earl; “it gets cold while you talk.”

“Troth, and that needsna, my lord,” said the knight; “your lordship's dinners seldom scald one's mouth—the serving-men are turning auld, like oursells, my lord, and it is far between the kitchen and the ha'.”

“Honestly, that’s not necessary, my lord,” said the knight; “your lordship's dinners rarely burn one's mouth—the servants are getting old, just like us, my lord, and there’s a long way between the kitchen and the hall.”

With this little explosion of his spleen, Sir Mungo remained satisfied, until the dishes were removed, when, fixing his eyes on the brave new doublet of Lord Dalgarno, he complimented him on his economy, pretending to recognise it as the same which his father had worn in Edinburgh in the Spanish ambassador's time. Lord Dalgarno, too much a man of the world to be moved by any thing from such a quarter, proceeded to crack some nuts with great deliberation, as he replied, that the doublet was in some sort his father's, as it was likely to cost him fifty pounds some day soon. Sir Mungo forthwith proceeded in his own way to convey this agreeable intelligence to the earl, observing, that his son was a better maker of bargains than his lordship, for he had bought a doublet as rich as that his lordship wore when the Spanish ambassador was at Holyrood, and it had cost him but fifty pounds Scots;—“that was no fool's bargain, my lord.”

With this little outburst, Sir Mungo felt satisfied until the dishes were cleared. Then, fixing his gaze on Lord Dalgarno's impressive new doublet, he praised him for his thriftiness, pretending to recognize it as the same one his father had worn in Edinburgh during the time of the Spanish ambassador. Lord Dalgarno, being too worldly to be affected by comments from someone like Sir Mungo, calmly cracked some nuts as he replied that the doublet was somewhat his father's, but it was likely to cost him fifty pounds soon. Sir Mungo then went on to share this delightful news with the earl, noting that his son was a better bargain maker than his lordship because he had bought a doublet just as luxurious as the one his lordship wore when the Spanish ambassador was at Holyrood, and it had only cost him fifty pounds Scots—“that was a smart deal, my lord.”

“Pounds sterling, if you please, Sir Mungo,” answered the earl, calmly; “and a fool's bargain it is, in all the tenses. Dalgarno WAS a fool when he bought—I will be a fool when I pay—and you, Sir Mungo, craving your pardon, are a fool in praesenti, for speaking of what concerns you not.”

“Pounds sterling, if you don’t mind, Sir Mungo,” replied the earl, calmly; “and it’s a foolish deal in every way. Dalgarno was a fool when he bought—I will be a fool when I pay—and you, Sir Mungo, with all due respect, are a fool right now for talking about something that doesn’t concern you.”

So saying, the earl addressed himself to the serious business of the table and sent the wine around with a profusion which increased the hilarity, but rather threatened the temperance, of the company, until their joviality was interrupted by the annunciation that the scrivener had engrossed such deeds as required to be presently executed.

So saying, the earl focused on the important matter at hand and passed the wine around generously, which boosted the laughter but also seemed to challenge the sobriety of the group, until their fun was interrupted by the announcement that the scrivener had prepared the documents that needed to be signed right away.

George Heriot rose from the table, observing, that wine-cups and legal documents were unseemly neighbours. The earl asked the scrivener if they had laid a trencher and set a cup for him in the buttery and received the respectful answer, that heaven forbid he should be such an ungracious beast as to eat or drink until his lordship's pleasure was performed.

George Heriot got up from the table, noting that wine glasses and legal papers didn't make good companions. The earl asked the scrivener if they had prepared a plate and set a cup for him in the pantry, and he received the polite reply that heaven forbid he should be so rude as to eat or drink before his lordship's wishes were fulfilled.

“Thou shalt eat before thou goest,” said Lord Huntinglen; “and I will have thee try, moreover, whether a cup of sack cannot bring some colour into these cheeks of thine. It were a shame to my household, thou shouldst glide out into the Strand after such a spectre-fashion as thou now wearest—Look to it, Dalgarno, for the honour of our roof is concerned.”

“Eat before you go,” said Lord Huntinglen; “and I want you to see if a glass of sack can bring some color to those cheeks of yours. It would be a disgrace for my household if you were to stroll out into the Strand looking like a ghost—Take care, Dalgarno, for the honor of our home is at stake.”

Lord Dalgarno gave directions that the man should be attended to. Lord Glenvarloch and the citizen, in the meanwhile, signed and interchanged, and thus closed a transaction, of which the principal party concerned understood little, save that it was under the management of a zealous and faithful friend, who undertook that the money should be forthcoming, and the estate released from forfeiture, by payment of the stipulated sum for which it stood pledged, and that at the term of Lambmas, and at the hour of noon, and beside the tomb of the Regent Earl of Murray, in the High Kirk of Saint Giles, at Edinburgh, being the day and place assigned for such redemption. [Footnote: As each covenant in those days of accuracy had a special place nominated for execution, the tomb of the Regent Earl of Murray in Saint Giles's Church was frequently assigned for the purpose.]

Lord Dalgarno instructed that the man should be taken care of. Meanwhile, Lord Glenvarloch and the citizen signed documents and exchanged them, thus completing a deal that the main party involved understood little about, other than that it was being handled by a dedicated and loyal friend, who assured that the money would be available and the estate would be freed from forfeiture by paying the agreed amount for which it was secured. This was to happen at the term of Lambmas, at noon, next to the tomb of the Regent Earl of Murray in the High Kirk of Saint Giles in Edinburgh, which was the designated date and location for such redemption. [Footnote: In those precise times, each covenant had a specific place designated for execution, so the tomb of the Regent Earl of Murray in Saint Giles's Church was often used for this purpose.]

When this business was transacted, the old earl would fain have renewed his carouse; but the citizen, alleging the importance of the deeds he had about him, and the business he had to transact betimes the next morning, not only refused to return to table, but carried with him to his barge Lord Glenvarloch, who might, perhaps, have been otherwise found more tractable.

When this deal was done, the old earl would have loved to continue his drinking party; however, the citizen, citing the importance of the documents he had with him and the work he needed to get done early the next morning, not only refused to go back to the table but also took Lord Glenvarloch with him to his boat, who might have been more agreeable under different circumstances.

When they were seated in the boat, and fairly once more afloat on the river, George Heriot looked back seriously on the mansion they had left—“There live,” he said, “the old fashion and the new. The father is like a noble old broadsword, but harmed with rust, from neglect and inactivity; the son is your modern rapier, well-mounted, fairly gilt, and fashioned to the taste of the time—and it is time must evince if the metal be as good as the show. God grant it prove so, says an old friend to the family.”

When they were settled in the boat and finally back on the river, George Heriot looked back seriously at the mansion they had just left. “There live,” he said, “the old ways and the new. The father is like a noble old broadsword, but damaged by rust from neglect and inactivity; the son is your modern rapier, well-crafted, nicely decorated, and designed to suit current tastes—and time will tell if the quality is as good as the appearance. God grant it proves so, says an old family friend.”

Nothing of consequence passed betwixt them, until Lord Glenvarloch, landing at Paul's Wharf, took leave of his friend the citizen, and retired to his own apartment, where his attendant, Richie, not a little elevated with the events of the day, and with the hospitality of Lord Huntinglen's house-keeping, gave a most splendid account of them to the buxom Dame Nelly, who rejoiced to hear that the sun at length was shining upon what Richie called “the right side of the hedge.”

Nothing important happened between them until Lord Glenvarloch arrived at Paul's Wharf, said goodbye to his friend the citizen, and went back to his own place. There, his servant, Richie, feeling pretty pleased with the day's events and the hospitality of Lord Huntinglen's home, excitedly told the lively Dame Nelly all about it. She was delighted to hear that the sun was finally shining on what Richie called "the right side of the hedge."










CHAPTER XI

  You are not for the manner nor the times,
  They have their vices now most like to virtues;
  You cannot know them apait by any difference,
  They wear the same clothes, eat the same meat—
  Sleep i' the self-same beds, ride in those coaches,
  Or very like four horses in a coach,
  As the best men and women.
                            Ben Jonson
You don’t fit in with the way things are now or the times.
They have their flaws, but they seem a lot like good traits;
You can’t tell them apart by any signs,
They wear the same clothes, eat the same food—
Sleep in the same beds, ride in the same carriages,
Or pretty much four horses in a carriage,
Just like the best guys and gals.
                            Ben Jonson

On the following morning, while Nigel, his breakfast finished, was thinking how he should employ the day, there was a little bustle upon the stairs which attracted his attention, and presently entered Dame Nelly, blushing like scarlet, and scarce able to bring out—“A young nobleman, sir—no one less,” she added, drawing her hand slightly over her lips, “would be so saucy—a young nobleman, sir, to wait on you!”

On the next morning, after finishing his breakfast, Nigel was thinking about how to spend the day when he noticed some commotion on the stairs that caught his attention. Soon, Dame Nelly appeared, her face flushed bright red, and she could hardly manage to say, “A young nobleman, sir—no one less,” she added, brushing her hand lightly over her lips, “has the nerve to come here to see you!”

And she was followed into the little cabin by Lord Dalgarno, gay, easy, disembarrassed, and apparently as much pleased to rejoin his new acquaintance as if he had found him in the apartments of a palace. Nigel, on the contrary, (for youth is slave to such circumstances,) was discountenanced and mortified at being surprised by so splendid a gallant in a chamber which, at the moment the elegant and high-dressed cavalier appeared in it, seemed to its inhabitant, yet lower, narrower, darker, and meaner than it had ever shown before. He would have made some apology for the situation, but Lord Dalgarno cut him short—

And she was followed into the little cabin by Lord Dalgarno, cheerful, relaxed, carefree, and seemingly just as happy to see his new acquaintance as if he had found him in the halls of a palace. Nigel, on the other hand, (since youth is often affected by such situations,) felt embarrassed and humiliated at being caught off guard by such a stylish gentleman in a room that, at that moment, seemed to him even more cramped, dim, and shabby than it ever had before. He wanted to apologize for the awkwardness, but Lord Dalgarno interrupted him—

“Not a word of it,” he said, “not a single word—I know why you ride at anchor here—but I can keep counsel—so pretty a hostess would recommend worse quarters.”

“Not a word of it,” he said, “not a single word—I know why you’re staying here at anchor—but I can keep a secret—such a lovely hostess could suggest worse places to stay.”

“On my word—on my honour,” said Lord Glenvarloch—

“Honestly—on my honour,” said Lord Glenvarloch—

“Nay, nay, make no words of the matter,” said Lord Dalgarno; “I am no tell-tale, nor shall I cross your walk; there is game enough in the forest, thank Heaven, and I can strike a doe for myself.”

“Come on, don’t say anything about it,” said Lord Dalgarno; “I’m no gossip, and I won’t interfere with you; there’s plenty of game in the forest, thank goodness, and I can hunt a doe for myself.”

All this he said in so significant a manner, and the explanation which he had adopted seemed to put Lord Glenvarloch's gallantry on so respectable a footing, that Nigel ceased to try to undeceive him; and less ashamed, perhaps, (for such is human weakness,) of supposed vice than of real poverty, changed the discourse to something else, and left poor Dame Nelly's reputation and his own at the mercy of the young courtier's misconstruction.

All of this he said in such a meaningful way, and the explanation he gave made Lord Glenvarloch's bravery seem so admirable, that Nigel stopped trying to correct him; and perhaps feeling less ashamed of imagined wrongdoing than of actual poverty, he changed the subject to something else, leaving poor Dame Nelly's reputation and his own vulnerable to the young courtier's misinterpretation.

He offered refreshments with some hesitation. Lord Dalgarno had long since breakfasted, but had just come from playing a set of tennis, he said, and would willingly taste a cup of the pretty hostess's single beer. This was easily procured, was drunk, was commended, and, as the hostess failed not to bring the cup herself, Lord Dalgarno profited by the opportunity to take a second and more attentive view of her, and then gravely drank to her husband's health, with an almost imperceptible nod to Lord Glenvarloch. Dame Nelly was much honoured, smoothed her apron down with her hands, and said

He offered drinks with a bit of reluctance. Lord Dalgarno had already had breakfast, but he had just come from playing a game of tennis, he said, and would gladly try a cup of the lovely hostess's beer. This was easily arranged, was enjoyed, was praised, and since the hostess made sure to bring the drink herself, Lord Dalgarno took the chance to take a closer look at her, and then formally toasted her husband's health, with a nearly imperceptible nod to Lord Glenvarloch. Dame Nelly felt honored, smoothed her apron with her hands, and said

“Her John was greatly and truly honoured by their lordships—he was a kind painstaking man for his family, as was in the alley, or indeed, as far north as Paul's Chain.”

“Her John was truly honored by their lords—he was a caring, diligent man for his family, just like in the alley, or even as far north as Paul's Chain.”

She would have proceeded probably to state the difference betwixt their ages, as the only alloy to their nuptial happiness; but her lodger, who had no mind to be farther exposed to his gay friend's raillery, gave her, contrary to his wont, a signal to leave the room.

She probably would have pointed out the difference in their ages as the only drawback to their marital happiness; but her lodger, who didn't want to be subjected to his cheerful friend's teasing any longer, unexpectedly signaled her to leave the room.

Lord Dalgarno looked after her, and then looked at Glenvarloch, shook his head, and repeated the well-known lines—

Lord Dalgarno watched her go, then turned to Glenvarloch, shook his head, and recited the famous lines—

“'My lord, beware of jealousy—It is the green-eyed monster which doth make the meat it feeds on.'

“'My lord, watch out for jealousy—It's the green-eyed monster that devours what it feeds on.'”

“But come,” he said, changing his tone, “I know not why I should worry you thus—I who have so many follies of my own, when I should rather make excuse for being here at all, and tell you wherefore I came.”

“But come,” he said, changing his tone, “I don’t know why I should bother you like this—I have so many of my own foolishnesses, when I should really be explaining why I’m even here and telling you the reason for my visit.”

So saying, he reached a seat, and, placing another for Lord Glenvarloch, in spite of his anxious haste to anticipate this act of courtesy, he proceeded in the same tone of easy familiarity:—

So saying, he reached a seat and, putting another one for Lord Glenvarloch, despite his eager wish to get ahead of this courteous gesture, he continued in the same relaxed manner:—

“We are neighbours, my lord, and are just made known to each other. Now, I know enough of the dear North, to be well aware that Scottish neighbours must be either dear friends or deadly enemies—must either walk hand-in-hand, or stand sword-point to sword-point; so I choose the hand-in-hand, unless you should reject my proffer.”

“We're neighbors, my lord, and we've just been introduced. Now, I know enough about the lovely North to understand that Scottish neighbors are either close friends or fierce enemies—they either walk together or stand ready to fight. So, I choose to walk together, unless you refuse my offer.”

“How were it possible, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “to refuse what is offered so frankly, even if your father had not been a second father to me?”—And, as he took Lord Dalgarno's hand, he added—“I have, I think, lost no time, since, during one day's attendance at Court, I have made a kind friend and a powerful enemy.”

“How is it possible, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “to refuse something offered so openly, even if your father hadn’t been like a second father to me?”—And as he took Lord Dalgarno's hand, he added—“I believe I haven’t wasted any time; in just one day at Court, I’ve gained a kind friend and a powerful enemy.”

“The friend thanks you,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “for your just opinion; but, my dear Glenvarloch—or rather, for titles are too formal between us of the better file—what is your Christian name?”

“The friend thanks you,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “for your fair opinion; but, my dear Glenvarloch—or rather, since titles are too formal between us good folks—what’s your first name?”

“Nigel,” replied Lord Glenvarloch.

“Nigel,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“Then we will be Nigel and Malcolm to each other,” said his visitor, “and my lord to the plebeian world around us. But I was about to ask you whom you suppose your enemy?”

“Then we'll be Nigel and Malcolm to each other,” said his visitor, “and my lord to the common world around us. But I was about to ask you who you think your enemy is?”

“No less than the all-powerful favourite, the great Duke of Buckingham.”

“No less than the incredibly powerful favorite, the great Duke of Buckingham.”

“You dream! What could possess you with such an opinion?” said Dalgarno.

“You're dreaming! What makes you think that way?” said Dalgarno.

“He told me so himself,” replied Glenvarloch; “and, in so doing, dealt frankly and honourably with me.”

“He told me that himself,” replied Glenvarloch; “and by doing so, he was honest and straightforward with me.”

“O, you know him not yet,” said his companion; “the duke is moulded of an hundred noble and fiery qualities, that prompt him, like a generous horse, to spring aside in impatience at the least obstacle to his forward course. But he means not what he says in such passing heats—I can do more with him, I thank Heaven, than most who are around him; you shall go visit him with me, and you will see how you shall be received.”

“O, you don't know him yet,” said his friend; “the duke has a mix of a hundred noble and passionate qualities that push him, like an eager horse, to jump aside in frustration at the smallest hurdle in his way. But he doesn’t really mean what he says in those moments of anger—I can handle him better, thank heaven, than most people around him; you should come and visit him with me, and you’ll see how you’ll be welcomed.”

“I told you, my lord,” said Glenvarloch firmly, and with some haughtiness, “the Duke of Buckingham, without the least offence, declared himself my enemy in the face of the Court; and he shall retract that aggression as publicly as it was given, ere I will make the slightest advance towards him.”

“I told you, my lord,” Glenvarloch said firmly and somewhat arrogantly, “the Duke of Buckingham, without any offense, declared himself my enemy in front of the Court; and he will take back that insult as publicly as he made it before I make even the slightest move towards him.”

“You would act becomingly in every other case,” said Lord Dalgarno, “but here you are wrong. In the Court horizon Buckingham is Lord of the Ascendant, and as he is adverse or favouring, so sinks or rises the fortune of a suitor. The king would bid you remember your Phaedrus,

“You would behave appropriately in any other situation,” said Lord Dalgarno, “but you’re mistaken here. In the royal circle, Buckingham holds the top position, and whether he’s against or in favor of you determines the success or failure of a suitor. The king would remind you of your Phaedrus,

     'Arripiens geminas, ripis cedentibus, ollas—'
'Grabbing two, as the banks give way, pots—'

and so forth. You are the vase of earth; beware of knocking yourself against the vase of iron.”

and so on. You are the vase made of clay; be careful not to hit yourself against the vase made of iron.”

“The vase of earth,” said Glenvarloch, “will avoid the encounter, by getting ashore out of the current—I mean to go no more to Court.”

“The vase of clay,” said Glenvarloch, “will steer clear of the situation by getting to the shore and away from the current—I’m not going back to Court.”

“O, to Court you necessarily must go; you will find your Scottish suit move ill without it, for there is both patronage and favour necessary to enforce the sign-manual you have obtained. Of that we will speak more hereafter; but tell me in the meanwhile, my dear Nigel, whether you did not wonder to see me here so early?”

“O, to the court you definitely have to go; you’ll find your Scottish claim doesn’t progress well without it, because you need both support and favor to push through the signature you’ve gotten. We’ll talk more about that later; but for now, my dear Nigel, did you not wonder why I’m here so early?”

“I am surprised that you could find me out in this obscure corner,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“I’m surprised you found me in this hidden corner,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“My page Lutin is a very devil for that sort of discovery,” replied Lord Dalgarno; “I have but to say, 'Goblin, I would know where he or she dwells,' and he guides me thither as if by art magic.”

“My page Lutin is really good at finding things like that,” replied Lord Dalgarno; “I just have to say, 'Goblin, I want to know where he or she lives,' and he leads me there as if by magic.”

“I hope he waits not now in the street, my lord,” said Nigel; “I will send my servant to seek him.”

“I hope he isn't waiting in the street now, my lord,” said Nigel; “I’ll send my servant to look for him.”

“Do not concern yourself—he is by this time,” said Lord Dalgarno, “playing at hustle-cap and chuck-farthing with the most blackguard imps upon the wharf, unless he hath foregone his old customs.”

“Don’t worry—he’s probably,” said Lord Dalgarno, “playing hustle-cap and chuck-farthing with the most troublesome kids at the wharf, unless he’s given up his old habits.”

“Are you not afraid,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “that in such company his morals may become depraved?”

“Are you not afraid,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “that in such company his morals might get corrupted?”

“Let his company look to their own,” answered Lord Dalgarno, cooly; “for it will be a company of real fiends in which Lutin cannot teach more mischief than he can learn: he is, I thank the gods, most thoroughly versed in evil for his years. I am spared the trouble of looking after his moralities, for nothing can make them either better or worse.”

“Let his crew handle their own business,” replied Lord Dalgarno, calmly; “because it’ll be a group of real troublemakers where Lutin can't teach more mischief than he can pick up: I’m grateful to the gods that he’s already well-versed in wrongdoing for his age. I don’t have to worry about his morals, since nothing can improve or worsen them.”

“I wonder you can answer this to his parents, my lord,” said Nigel.

“I wonder if you can explain this to his parents, my lord,” said Nigel.

“I wonder where I should find his parents,” replied his companion, “to render an account to them.”

“I’m not sure where I should find his parents,” replied his friend, “to give them an update.”

“He may be an orphan,” said Lord Nigel; “but surely, being a page in your lordship's family, his parents must be of rank.”

“He might be an orphan,” said Lord Nigel; “but surely, since he’s a page in your lordship's family, his parents must be of some status.”

“Of as high rank as the gallows could exalt them to,” replied Lord Dalgarno, with the same indifference; “they were both hanged, I believe—at least the gipsies, from whom I bought him five years ago, intimated as much to me.—You are surprised at this, now. But is it not better that, instead of a lazy, conceited, whey-faced slip of gentility, to whom, in your old-world idea of the matter, I was bound to stand Sir Pedagogue, and see that he washed his hands and face, said his prayers, learned his acddens, spoke no naughty words, brushed his hat, and wore his best doublet only on Sunday,—that, instead of such a Jacky Goodchild, I should have something like this?”

“Of as high a rank as the gallows could elevate them to,” replied Lord Dalgarno, with the same indifference; “they were both hanged, I think—at least the gypsies I got him from five years ago hinted as much to me. You’re surprised by this now. But isn’t it better that, instead of a lazy, arrogant, pale-faced kid from a wealthy family, to whom, in your old-fashioned view of things, I should have acted like a strict tutor, making sure he washed his hands and face, said his prayers, learned his basics, didn't use bad language, brushed his hat, and only wore his best jacket on Sundays—rather than having a kid like that, I should have something like this?”

He whistled shrill and clear, and the page he spoke of darted into the room, almost with the effect of an actual apparition. From his height he seemed but fifteen, but, from his face, might be two or even three years older, very neatly made, and richly dressed; with a thin bronzed visage, which marked his gipsy descent, and a pair of sparkling black eyes, which seemed almost to pierce through those whom he looked at.

He whistled sharply, and the page he was talking about rushed into the room, almost like a ghost. From his height, he looked about fifteen, but from his face, he could be two or even three years older. He was well-built and dressed in fine clothes, with a thin, tanned face that hinted at his gypsy background, and a pair of bright black eyes that seemed to see right through those he looked at.

“There he is,” said Lord Dalgarno, “fit for every element—prompt to execute every command, good, bad, or indifferent—unmatched in his tribe, as rogue, thief, and liar.”

“There he is,” said Lord Dalgarno, “ready for anything—quick to follow any order, whether good, bad, or just whatever—unrivaled in his crew, as a trickster, thief, and liar.”

“All which qualities,” said the undaunted page, “have each in turn stood your lordship in stead.”

“All these qualities,” said the fearless page, “have each, in their own way, been of help to you, my lord.”

“Out, you imp of Satan!” said his master; “vanish-begone-or my conjuring rod goes about your ears.” The boy turned, and disappeared as suddenly as he had entered. “You see,” said Lord Dalgarno, “that, in choosing my household, the best regard I can pay to gentle blood is to exclude it from my service—that very gallows—bird were enough to corrupt a whole antechamber of pages, though they were descended from kings and kaisers.”

“Get out, you little demon!” his master said; “vanish—go away—or I’ll use my wand on you.” The boy turned and vanished as quickly as he had arrived. “You see,” Lord Dalgarno said, “that when I choose my household staff, the best way to honor noble blood is to keep it out of my service—just that one troublemaker could corrupt an entire room full of pages, even if they were descended from kings and emperors.”

“I can scarce think that a nobleman should need the offices of such an attendant as your goblin,” said Nigel; “you are but jesting with my inexperience.”

"I can hardly believe that a nobleman would need the services of a helper like your goblin," said Nigel; "you're just teasing me because I'm inexperienced."

“Time will show whether I jest or not, my dear Nigel,” replied Dalgarno; “in the meantime, I have to propose to you to take the advantage of the flood-tide, to run up the river for pastime; and at noon I trust you will dine with me.”

“Time will tell if I'm joking or not, my dear Nigel,” replied Dalgarno; “in the meantime, I want to suggest that we take advantage of the rising tide and head up the river for some fun; and I hope you’ll join me for lunch at noon.”

Nigel acquiesced in a plan which promised so much amusement; and his new friend and he, attended by Lutin and Moniplies, who greatly resembled, when thus associated, the conjunction of a bear and a monkey, took possession of Lord Dalgarno's wherry, which, with its badged watermen, bearing his lordship's crest on their arms, lay in readiness to receive them. The air was delightful upon the river; and the lively conversation of Lord Dalgarno added zest to the pleasures of the little voyage. He could not only give an account of the various public buildings and noblemen's houses which they passed in ascending the Thames, but knew how to season his information with abundance of anecdote, political innuendo, and personal scandal; if he had not very much wit, he was at least completely master of the fashionable tone, which in that time, as in ours, more than amply supplies any deficiency of the kind.

Nigel went along with a plan that promised a lot of fun, and he and his new friend, along with Lutin and Moniplies—who, together, looked like a mix of a bear and a monkey—took control of Lord Dalgarno's boat, which was ready to receive them with watermen displaying his lordship's crest on their arms. The weather on the river was lovely, and Lord Dalgarno’s lively conversation added excitement to their little trip. He could not only describe the various public buildings and the mansions of noblemen they passed as they traveled up the Thames, but he also knew how to spice up his information with plenty of anecdotes, political hints, and personal gossip; while he might not have had a lot of wit, he was completely in tune with the fashionable tone, which at that time, just as now, easily made up for any lack of it.

It was a style of conversation entirely new to his companion, as was the world which Lord Dalgarno opened to his observation; and it is no wonder that Nigel, notwithstanding his natural good sense and high spirit, admitted, more readily than seemed consistent with either, the tone of authoritative instruction which his new friend assumed towards him. There would, indeed, have been some difficulty in making a stand. To attempt a high and stubborn tone of morality, in answer to the light strain of Lord Dalgarno's conversation, which kept on the frontiers between jest and earnest, would have seemed pedantic and ridiculous; and every attempt which Nigel made to combat his companion's propositions, by reasoning as jocose as his own, only showed his inferiority in that gay species of controversy. And it must be owned, besides, though internally disapproving much of what he heard, Lord Glenvarloch, young as he was in society, became less alarmed by the language and manners of his new associate, than in prudence he ought to have been.

It was a style of conversation completely new to his companion, as was the world that Lord Dalgarno introduced him to; and it’s no surprise that Nigel, despite his natural good sense and high spirits, accepted, more readily than seemed fitting, the authoritative tone of instruction that his new friend took with him. In fact, it would have been difficult to take a stand. Trying to adopt a high and stubborn moral tone in response to the lighthearted nature of Lord Dalgarno's conversation, which blurred the lines between joking and serious, would have come off as pedantic and silly. Every effort Nigel made to counter his companion’s propositions with humor only highlighted his inferiority in that cheerful style of debate. Plus, it must be said, even though he internally disapproved of much of what he heard, Lord Glenvarloch, despite being inexperienced in social matters, became less concerned about the language and behavior of his new associate than he should have been.

Lord Dalgarno was unwilling to startle his proselyte, by insisting upon any topic which appeared particularly to jar with his habits or principles; and he blended his mirth and his earnest so dexterously, that it was impossible for Nigel to discover how far he was serious in his propositions, or how far they flowed from a wild and extravagant spirit of raillery. And, ever and anon, those flashes of spirit and honour crossed his conversation, which seemed to intimate, that, when stirred to action by some adequate motive, Lord Dalgarno would prove something very different from the court-haunting and ease-loving voluptuary, which he was pleased to represent as his chosen character.

Lord Dalgarno didn't want to shock his pupil by bringing up any topics that might clash with his habits or beliefs. He mixed humor with sincerity so skillfully that Nigel couldn't tell how serious he was in his suggestions or if they came from a playful and extravagant sense of humor. Now and then, hints of spirit and honor shone through in his conversation, suggesting that when pushed by a strong enough motive, Lord Dalgarno would be very different from the carefree and pleasure-seeking person he liked to portray as his true self.

As they returned down the river, Lord Glenvarloch remarked, that the boat passed the mansion of Lord Huntinglen, and noticed the circumstance to Lord Dalgarno, observing, that he thought they were to have dined there. “Surely no,” said the young nobleman, “I have more mercy on you than to gorge you a second time with raw beef and canary wine. I propose something better for you, I promise you, than such a second Scythian festivity. And as for my father, he proposes to dine to-day with my grave, ancient Earl of Northampton, whilome that celebrated putter-down of pretended prophecies, Lord Henry Howard.”

As they floated back down the river, Lord Glenvarloch pointed out that their boat passed the mansion of Lord Huntinglen and mentioned this to Lord Dalgarno, noting that he thought they were supposed to have dinner there. “Surely not,” replied the young nobleman, “I have more compassion for you than to stuff you a second time with raw beef and canary wine. I have something better in mind for you, I promise, than such a second Scythian feast. And as for my father, he plans to have dinner today with my serious, old Earl of Northampton, formerly known for putting down false prophecies, Lord Henry Howard.”

“And do you not go with him?” said his companion.

“And aren’t you going with him?” said his friend.

“To what purpose?” said Lord Dalgarno. “To hear his wise lordship speak musty politics in false Latin, which the old fox always uses, that he may give the learned Majesty of England an opportunity of correcting his slips in grammar? That were a rare employment!”

“To what purpose?” Lord Dalgarno said. “To listen to his wise lordship talk about stale politics in fake Latin, which the old fox always uses, just so he can give the learned Majesty of England a chance to correct his grammar mistakes? That would be a curious job!”

“Nay,” said Lord Nigel, “but out of respect, to wait on my lord your father.”

“Nah,” said Lord Nigel, “but out of respect, to wait on your father, my lord.”

“My lord my father,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “has blue-bottles enough to wait on him, and can well dispense with such a butterfly as myself. He can lift the cup of sack to his head without my assistance; and, should the said paternal head turn something giddy, there be men enough to guide his right honourable lordship to his lordship's right honourable couch.—Now, do not stare at me, Nigel, as if my words were to sink the boat with us. I love my father—I love him dearly—and I respect him, too, though I respect not many things; a trustier old Trojan never belted a broadsword by a loop of leather. But what then? He belongs to the old world, I to the new. He has his follies, I have mine; and the less either of us sees of the other's peccadilloes, the greater will be the honour and respect—that, I think, is the proper phrase—I say the respect in which we shall hold each other. Being apart, each of us is himself, such as nature and circumstances have made him; but, couple us up too closely together, you will be sure to have in your leash either an old hypocrite or a young one, or perhaps both the one and t'other.”

“My lord my father,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “has plenty of servants around him and doesn't need a butterfly like me. He can raise a glass of wine to his lips without my help; and if he starts feeling a bit dizzy, there are enough people to steer him back to his comfortable bed. Now, don’t look at me like I’m about to sink the boat for us. I love my father—I love him dearly—and I respect him too, even though I don’t respect many things; there’s never been a more loyal warrior than he is. But what can I say? He belongs to the old world, and I belong to the new. He has his quirks, I have mine; and the less we see of each other’s faults, the more honor and respect—that’s the right word—I say the respect in which we hold each other. Being apart, each of us is who we are, shaped by nature and circumstance; but if you bring us too close together, you'll end up with either an old hypocrite or a young one, or possibly a mix of both.”

As he spoke thus, the boat put into the landing-place at Blackfriars. Lord Dalgarno sprung ashore, and, flinging his cloak and rapier to his page, recommended to his companion to do the like. “We are coming among a press of gallants,” he said; “and, if we walked thus muffled, we shall look like your tawny-visaged Don, who wraps him close in his cloak, to conceal the defects of his doublet.”

As he spoke, the boat arrived at the landing place at Blackfriars. Lord Dalgarno jumped ashore and tossed his cloak and sword to his page, urging his companion to do the same. “We’re about to enter a crowd of gentlemen,” he said, “and if we walk around like this all wrapped up, we’ll look like your brown-faced Don, who hides himself in his cloak to cover up the flaws in his outfit.”

“I have known many an honest man do that, if it please your lordship,” said Richie Moniplies, who had been watching for an opportunity to intrude himself on the conversation, and probably remembered what had been his own condition, in respect to cloak and doublet, at a very recent period.

“I have seen many honest men do that, if it pleases you, my lord,” said Richie Moniplies, who had been waiting for a chance to join the conversation and likely recalled his own situation regarding his cloak and doublet not long ago.

Lord Dalgarno stared at him, as if surprised at his assurance; but immediately answered, “You may have known many things, friend; but, in the meanwhile, you do not know what principally concerns your master, namely, how to carry his cloak, so as to show to advantage the gold-laced seams, and the lining of sables. See how Lutin holds the sword, with his cloak cast partly over it, yet so as to set off the embossed hilt, and the silver work of the mounting.—Give your familiar your sword, Nigel,” he continued, addressing Lord Glenvarloch, “that he may practise a lesson in an art so necessary.”

Lord Dalgarno looked at him, seemingly surprised by his confidence, but quickly replied, “You may have known a lot, my friend; however, you still don’t understand what’s most important for your master, which is how to carry his cloak to highlight the gold-laced seams and the sable lining. Look at how Lutin holds the sword, with his cloak draped partly over it, yet positioned to showcase the decorated hilt and the silver detailing of the mount. — Give your servant your sword, Nigel,” he continued, addressing Lord Glenvarloch, “so he can practice a skill that’s really essential.”

“Is it altogether prudent,” said Nigel, unclasping his weapon, and giving it to Richie, “to walk entirely unarmed?”

“Is it really wise,” said Nigel, unclasping his weapon and handing it to Richie, “to walk around completely unarmed?”

“And wherefore not?” said his companion. “You are thinking now of Auld Reekie, as my father fondly calls your good Scottish capital, where there is such bandying of private feuds and public factions, that a man of any note shall not cross your High Street twice, without endangering his life thrice. Here, sir, no brawling in the street is permitted. Your bull-headed citizen takes up the case so soon as the sword is drawn, and clubs is the word.”

“And why not?” said his companion. “You're thinking about Auld Reekie, as my father affectionately calls your wonderful Scottish capital, where there's so much back-and-forth of private rivalries and public conflicts that a well-known person can't walk down your High Street twice without risking his life three times. Here, sir, no fighting in the streets is allowed. Your stubborn citizens get involved as soon as a sword is drawn, and the word is clubs.”

“And a hard word it is,” said Richie, “as my brain-pan kens at this blessed moment.”

“And it’s a tough thing to say,” Richie said, “as my mind knows at this very moment.”

“Were I your master, sirrah,” said Lord Dalgarno, “I would make your brain-pan, as you call it, boil over, were you to speak a word in my presence before you were spoken to.”

“Were I your boss, buddy,” said Lord Dalgarno, “I would make your head, as you call it, steam, if you dared to say a word in my presence before I addressed you.”

Richie murmured some indistinct answer, but took the hint, and ranked himself behind his master along with Lutin, who failed not to expose his new companion to the ridicule of the passers-by, by mimicking, as often as he could do so unobserved by Richie, his stiff and upright stalking gait and discontented physiognomy.

Richie mumbled some unclear response but got the hint and positioned himself behind his master along with Lutin, who made sure to mock his new companion in front of bystanders by imitating, whenever he could do it without Richie noticing, his rigid and upright walking style and unhappy expression.

“And tell me now, my dear Malcolm,” said Nigel, “where we are bending our course, and whether we shall dine at an apartment of yours?”

“And tell me now, my dear Malcolm,” said Nigel, “where we are headed, and if we’ll be having dinner at your place?”

“An apartment of mine—yes, surely,” answered Lord Dalgarno, “you shall dine at an apartment of mine, and an apartment of yours, and of twenty gallants besides; and where the board shall present better cheer, better wine, and better attendance, than if our whole united exhibitions went to maintain it. We are going to the most noted ordinary of London.”

“Sure, you can have dinner at my place,” replied Lord Dalgarno. “We’ll have dinner at my apartment, and yours, plus twenty other guys too; and the food, wine, and service will be far better than if we pooled all our resources. We’re heading to the most famous restaurant in London.”

“That is, in common language, an inn, or a tavern,” said Nigel.

“That is, in everyday language, an inn or a bar,” said Nigel.

“An inn, or a tavern, my most green and simple friend!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno. “No, no—these are places where greasy citizens take pipe and pot, where the knavish pettifoggers of the law spunge on their most unhappy victims—where Templars crack jests as empty as their nuts, and where small gentry imbibe such thin potations, that they get dropsies instead of getting drunk. An ordinary is a late-invented institution, sacred to Bacchus and Comus, where the choicest noble gallants of the time meet with the first and most ethereal wits of the age,—where the wine is the very soul of the choicest grape, refined as the genius of the poet, and ancient and generous as the blood of the nobles. And then the fare is something beyond your ordinary gross terrestrial food! Sea and land are ransacked to supply it; and the invention of six ingenious cooks kept eternally upon the rack to make their art hold pace with, and if possible enhance, the exquisite quality of the materials.”

“An inn, or a tavern, my naive and simple friend!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno. “No, no—these are places where greasy townsfolk drink and eat, where the devious lawyers prey on their unfortunate clients—where Templars crack jokes as hollow as their heads, and where minor nobility sip such weak drinks that they end up with dropsy instead of getting drunk. An ordinary is a recently invented establishment, dedicated to Bacchus and Comus, where the finest noble gentlemen of the time gather with the brightest minds of the age,—where the wine is the pure essence of the finest grape, polished like a poet’s genius, and as ancient and rich as noble blood. And then the food is something beyond your typical earthly fare! Both land and sea are scoured to provide it; and the creativity of six skilled chefs is constantly tested to ensure their craft keeps up with, and ideally enhances, the exquisite quality of the ingredients.”

“By all which rhapsody,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I can only understand, as I did before, that we are going to a choice tavern, where we shall be handsomely entertained, on paying probably as handsome a reckoning.”

“By all this excitement,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I can only gather, as I did before, that we’re heading to a fancy tavern, where we’ll be treated well, likely at quite a price.”

“Reckoning!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno in the same tone as before, “perish the peasantly phrase! What profanation! Monsieur le Chevalier de Beaujeu, pink of Paris and flower of Gascony—he who can tell the age of his wine by the bare smell, who distils his sauces in an alembic by the aid of Lully's philosophy—who carves with such exquisite precision, that he gives to noble, knight and squire, the portion of the pheasant which exactly accords with his rank—nay, he who shall divide a becafico into twelve parts with such scrupulous exactness, that of twelve guests not one shall have the advantage of the other in a hair's breadth, or the twentieth part of a drachm, yet you talk of him and of a reckoning in the same breath! Why, man, he is the well-known and general referee in all matters affecting the mysteries of Passage, Hazard, In and In, Penneeck, and Verquire, and what not—why, Beaujeu is King of the Card-pack, and Duke of the Dice-box—HE call a reckoning like a green-aproned, red-nosed son of the vulgar spigot! O, my dearest Nigel, what a word you have spoken, and of what a person! That you know him not, is your only apology for such blasphemy; and yet I scarce hold it adequate, for to have been a day in London and not to know Beaujeu, is a crime of its own kind. But you shall know him this blessed moment, and shall learn to hold yourself in horror for the enormities you have uttered.”

“Reckoning!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno in the same tone as before, “forget that peasant phrase! What a disgrace! Monsieur le Chevalier de Beaujeu, the epitome of Paris and the pride of Gascony—he who can tell the age of his wine just by sniffing it, who distills his sauces in an alembic using Lully's philosophy—who carves with such exquisite precision, that he serves noblemen, knights, and squires the portion of pheasant that perfectly matches their rank—nay, he who divides a becafico into twelve pieces with such meticulous care that of twelve guests not one has an advantage over the others by even a hair's breadth or the twentieth part of a drachm, yet you dare speak of him and a reckoning in the same breath! Why, man, he is the well-known and general referee in all matters concerning the mysteries of Passage, Hazard, In and In, Penneeck, Verquire, and whatnot—why, Beaujeu is the King of the Card-pack and Duke of the Dice-box—HE would call a reckoning like a green-aproned, red-nosed son of the common taproom! Oh, my dear Nigel, what a word you have spoken, and of what a person! That you don't know him is the only excuse for such blasphemy; and even that isn't good enough, for spending just a day in London and not knowing Beaujeu is a crime of its own kind. But you will know him this very moment, and you'll learn to dread the terrible things you have said.”

“Well, but mark you,” said Nigel, “this worthy chevalier keeps not all this good cheer at his own cost, does he?”

“Well, but you should know,” said Nigel, “this noble knight isn’t covering all this nice hospitality himself, right?”

“No, no,” answered Lord Dalgarno; “there is a sort of ceremony which my chevalier's friends and intimates understand, but with which you have no business at present. There is, as majesty might say, a symbolum to be disbursed—in other words, a mutual exchange of courtesies take place betwixt Beaujeu and his guests. He makes them a free present of the dinner and wine, as often as they choose to consult their own felicity by frequenting his house at the hour of noon, and they, in gratitude, make the chevalier a present of a Jacobus. Then you must know, that, besides Comus and Bacchus, that princess of sublunary affairs, the Diva Fortuna, is frequently worshipped at Beaujeu's, and he, as officiating high-priest, hath, as in reason he should, a considerable advantage from a share of the sacrifice.”

“No, no,” replied Lord Dalgarno. “There’s a kind of ritual that my knight's friends and close ones understand, but it doesn’t concern you right now. There’s, as royalty might say, a symbolum to be shared—in other words, a mutual exchange of courtesies takes place between Beaujeu and his guests. He generously offers them dinner and wine whenever they choose to enjoy his hospitality at noon, and in return, they give the knight a Jacobus as a token of their appreciation. Also, you should know that, in addition to Comus and Bacchus, the goddess of fortune, Diva Fortuna, is often honored at Beaujeu's place, and he, as the high priest, rightly benefits from a share of the offerings.”

“In other words,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “this man keeps a gaming-house.”

“In other words,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “this guy runs a gaming house.”

“A house in which you may certainly game,” said Lord Dalgarno, “as you may in your own chamber if you have a mind; nay, I remember old Tom Tally played a hand at put for a wager with Quinze le Va, the Frenchman, during morning prayers in St. Paul's; the morning was misty, and the parson drowsy, and the whole audience consisted of themselves and a blind woman, and so they escaped detection.”

“A place where you can definitely gamble,” said Lord Dalgarno, “just like you can in your own room if you feel like it; in fact, I remember old Tom Tally betting on a hand of put against Quinze le Va, the Frenchman, during morning prayers at St. Paul's; the morning was foggy, the preacher was sleepy, and the only ones there were themselves and a blind woman, so they got away with it.”

“For all this, Malcolm,” said the young lord, gravely, “I cannot dine with you to-day, at this same ordinary.”

“For all this, Malcolm,” said the young lord seriously, “I can’t have dinner with you today at this same place.”

“And wherefore, in the name of heaven, should you draw back from your word?” said Lord Dalgarno.

“And why, for heaven's sake, would you go back on your word?” said Lord Dalgarno.

“I do not retract my word, Malcolm; but I am bound, by an early promise to my father, never to enter the doors of a gaming-house.”

“I won’t take back what I said, Malcolm; but I am tied to a promise I made to my father not to step foot inside a gambling house.”

“I tell you this is none,” said Lord Dalgarno; “it is but, in plain terms, an eating-house, arranged on civiller terms, and frequented by better company, than others in this town; and if some of them do amuse themselves with cards and hazard, they are men of honour, and who play as such, and for no more than they can well afford to lose. It was not, and could not be, such houses that your father desired you to avoid. Besides, he might as well have made you swear you would never take accommodation of an inn, tavern, eating-house, or place of public reception of any kind; for there is no such place of public resort but where your eyes may be contaminated by the sight of a pack of pieces of painted pasteboard, and your ears profaned by the rattle of those little spotted cubes of ivory. The difference is, that where we go, we may happen to see persons of quality amusing themselves with a game; and in the ordinary houses you will meet bullies and sharpers, who will strive either to cheat or to swagger you out of your money.”

“I’m telling you, this isn’t anything crazy,” said Lord Dalgarno. “It’s just a restaurant, organized in a more polite way, and visited by better people than others in this town. And if some of them enjoy playing cards and betting, they are honorable men who play fairly and only gamble what they can afford to lose. It wasn't, and couldn't be, the sort of places your father wanted you to avoid. Besides, he might as well have made you swear never to stay at any inn, tavern, restaurant, or any public place, because everywhere you go, you'll be exposed to a bunch of painted playing cards and the noise of those little dice. The difference is, where we go, we might see fine people having fun with a game, while in ordinary places, you’ll encounter bullies and con artists trying to cheat you or talk you out of your money.”

“I am sure you would not willingly lead me to do what is wrong,” said Nigel; “but my father had a horror for games of chance, religious I believe, as well as prudential. He judged from I know not what circumstance, a fallacious one I should hope, that I should have a propensity to such courses, and I have told you the promise which he exacted from me.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t intentionally lead me to do something wrong,” said Nigel. “But my father had a strong dislike for gambling, both for religious reasons and for practical ones. He believed, for reasons I don't understand—and I hope they were mistaken—that I would be inclined to pursue such activities, and I’ve mentioned the promise he insisted I make.”

“Now, by my honour,” said Dalgarno, “what you have said affords the strongest reason for my insisting that you go with me. A man who would shun any danger, should first become acquainted with its real bearing and extent, and that in the company of a confidential guide and guard. Do you think I myself game? Good faith, my father's oaks grow too far from London, and stand too fast rooted in the rocks of Perthshire, for me to troll them down with a die, though I have seen whole forests go down like nine-pins. No, no—these are sports for the wealthy Southron, not for the poor Scottish noble. The place is an eating-house, and as such you and I will use it. If others use it to game in, it is their fault, but neither that of the house nor ours.”

“Honestly,” said Dalgarno, “what you've said gives me the best reason to insist that you come with me. A person who wants to avoid danger should first understand its true nature and extent, ideally with a trusted guide and protector. Do you think I'm a gambler? Honestly, my father's oak trees are too far from London and too firmly rooted in the rocks of Perthshire for me to take them down with dice, even though I've seen entire forests fall like bowling pins. No, no—these are pastimes for the wealthy people from the South, not for a poor Scottish noble. The place is a restaurant, and that’s how you and I will use it. If others choose to gamble there, that's on them, but it's neither the restaurant's fault nor ours.”

Unsatisfied with this reasoning, Nigel still insisted upon the promise he had given to his father, until his companion appeared rather displeased, and disposed to impute to him injurious and unhandsome suspicions. Lord Glenvarloch could not stand this change of tone. He recollected that much was due from him to Lord Dalgarno, on account of his father's ready and efficient friendship, and something also on account of the frank manner in which the young man himself had offered him his intimacy. He had no reason to doubt his assurances, that the house where they were about to dine did not fall under the description of places which his father's prohibition referred; and finally, he was strong in his own resolution to resist every temptation to join in games of chance. He therefore pacified Lord Dalgarno, by intimating his willingness to go along with him; and, the good-humour of the young courtier instantaneously returning, he again ran on in a grotesque and rodomontade account of the host, Monsieur de Beaujeu, which he did not conclude until they had reached the temple of hospitality over which that eminent professor presided.

Unsatisfied with this reasoning, Nigel continued to press for the promise he had made to his father, until his companion seemed quite annoyed and inclined to assign him unfair and unflattering doubts. Lord Glenvarloch couldn't handle this shift in tone. He remembered that he owed a lot to Lord Dalgarno because of his father's prompt and helpful friendship, and also because of the straightforward way the young man had offered him his friendship. He had no reason to doubt his assurances that the place where they were about to dine wasn't one of those that his father's prohibition referred to; and ultimately, he was determined to resist any temptation to get involved in gambling. So, he calmed Lord Dalgarno by indicating his willingness to join him, and the young courtier's good humor immediately returned as he began again with a comical and boastful tale about their host, Monsieur de Beaujeu, which he didn't finish until they arrived at the welcoming venue run by that distinguished host.










CHAPTER XII

    ——This is the very barn-yard,
    Where muster daily the prime cocks o' the game,
    Ruffle their pinions, crow till they are hoarse,
    And spar about a barleycorn. Here too chickens,
    The callow, unfledged brood of forward folly,
    Learn first to rear the crest, and aim the spur,
    And tune their note like full-plumed Chanticleer.
                                        The Bear-Garden.
    ——This is the very barnyard,
    Where the top roosters gather daily,
    Fluff their feathers, crow until they're hoarse,
    And fight over a kernel of barley. Here too chicks,
    The young, unfeathered offspring of bold foolishness,
    Learn to lift their heads, and aim their spurs,
    And perfect their calls like fully-feathered Chanticleer.
                                        The Bear-Garden.

The Ordinary, now an ignoble sound, was in the days of James, a new institution, as fashionable among the youth of that age as the first-rate modern club-houses are amongst those of the present day. It differed chiefly, in being open to all whom good clothes and good assurance combined to introduce there. The company usually dined together at an hour fixed, and the manager of the establishment presided as master of the ceremonies.

The Ordinary, which now sounds unremarkable, was in the days of James a new institution, as trendy among the youth of that time as top modern clubs are today. Its main difference was that it was open to anyone who could present themselves well in nice clothes and with confidence. The guests typically dined together at a set time, and the manager of the place acted as the host.

Monsieur le Chevalier, (as he qualified himself,) Saint Priest de Beaujeu, was a sharp, thin Gascon, about sixty years old, banished from his own country, as he said, on account of an affair of honour, in which he had the misfortune to kill his antagonist, though the best swordsman in the south of France. His pretensions to quality were supported by a feathered hat, a long rapier, and a suit of embroidered taffeta, not much the worse for wear, in the extreme fashion of the Parisian court, and fluttering like a Maypole with many knots of ribbon, of which it was computed he bore at least five hundred yards about his person. But, notwithstanding this profusion of decoration, there were many who thought Monsieur le Chevalier so admirably calculated for his present situation, that nature could never have meant to place him an inch above it. It was, however, part of the amusement of the place, for Lord Dalgarno and other young men of quality to treat Monsieur de Beaujeu with a great deal of mock ceremony, which being observed by the herd of more ordinary and simple gulls, they paid him, in clumsy imitation, much real deference. The Gascon's natural forwardness being much enhanced by these circumstances, he was often guilty of presuming beyond the limits of his situation, and of course had sometimes the mortification to be disagreeably driven back into them.

Monsieur le Chevalier, (as he called himself) Saint Priest de Beaujeu, was a sharp, thin Gascon, around sixty years old, banished from his home country, as he claimed, because of an honor-related incident where he unfortunately killed his opponent, who was the best swordsman in the south of France. His claims to nobility were supported by a feathered hat, a long rapier, and a somewhat worn suit of embroidered taffeta, styled in the latest fashion of the Parisian court, adorned with enough ribbons to resemble a Maypole, all of which were estimated to total at least five hundred yards. Despite this extravagant display, many believed Monsieur le Chevalier was perfectly suited for his current situation, suggesting that nature could never have intended for him to be above it. However, it was part of the entertainment for Lord Dalgarno and other young noblemen to treat Monsieur de Beaujeu with a great deal of mock formality, which the crowd of more ordinary and simple fools saw and clumsily imitated, showing him a fair amount of actual respect. The Gascon's natural boldness was heightened by these circumstances, leading him to often overstep his boundaries, which sometimes resulted in the embarrassing moment of being harshly reminded of his place.

When Nigel entered the mansion of this eminent person, which had been but of late the residence of a great Baron of Queen Elizabeth's court, who had retired to his manors in the country on the death of that princess, he was surprised at the extent of the accommodation which it afforded, and the number of guests who were already assembled. Feathers waved, spurs jingled, lace and embroidery glanced everywhere; and at first sight, at least, it certainly made good Lord Dalgarno's encomium, who represented the company as composed almost entirely of youth of the first quality. A more close review was not quite so favourable. Several individuals might be discovered who were not exactly at their ease in the splendid dresses which they wore, and who, therefore, might be supposed not habitually familiar with such finery. Again, there were others, whose dress, though on a general view it did not seem inferior to that of the rest of the company, displayed, on being observed more closely, some of these petty expedients, by which vanity endeavours to disguise poverty.

When Nigel walked into the mansion of this prominent figure, which had recently been the home of a high-ranking Baron from Queen Elizabeth's court who had retreated to his estates in the countryside after that princess passed away, he was struck by the vastness of the accommodations and the number of guests already gathered. Feathers fluttered, spurs clinked, and lace and embroidery sparkled everywhere; at first glance, it certainly lived up to Lord Dalgarno's praise, who characterized the crowd as mostly young people of high status. However, a closer look revealed a different story. Some individuals looked uncomfortable in the extravagant outfits they wore, suggesting they weren't used to such finery. Additionally, there were others whose attire, while not seemingly inferior to that of the rest, showed subtle signs of the small tricks some people use to hide their lack of money.

Nigel had very little time to make such observations, for the entrance of Lord Dalgarno created an immediate bustle and sensation among the company, as his name passed from one mouth to another. Some stood forward to gaze, others stood back to make way—those of his own rank hastened to welcome him—those of inferior degree endeavoured to catch some point of his gesture, or of his dress, to be worn and practised upon a future occasion, as the newest and most authentic fashion.

Nigel had hardly any time to notice much, as the arrival of Lord Dalgarno stirred up an immediate commotion and excitement among the guests, with his name being exchanged rapidly. Some stepped forward to look, while others stepped back to make room—those of his social standing rushed to greet him—while those of lower status tried to observe some aspect of his gestures or attire to emulate at a later date as the latest and most genuine trend.

The genius loci, the Chevalier himself, was not the last to welcome this prime stay and ornament of his establishment. He came shuffling forward with a hundred apish conges and chers milors, to express his happiness at seeing Lord Dalgarno again.—“I hope you do bring back the sun with you, Milor—You did carry away the sun and moon from your pauvre Chevalier when you leave him for so long. Pardieu, I believe you take them away in your pockets.”

The genius loci, the Chevalier himself, was among the first to welcome this essential part and highlight of his establishment. He came shuffling forward with a hundred silly bows and "dear sirs," eager to express his joy at seeing Lord Dalgarno again. “I hope you’ve brought back the sun with you, Milor—You took away the sun and moon from your poor Chevalier when you left him for so long. I swear, I think you must have taken them in your pockets.”

“That must have been because you left me nothing else in them, Chevalier,” answered Lord Dalgarno; “but Monsieur le Chevalier, I pray you to know my countryman and friend, Lord Glenvarloch!”

“That's probably because you didn't leave me anything else in them, Chevalier,” replied Lord Dalgarno; “but Monsieur le Chevalier, please meet my countryman and friend, Lord Glenvarloch!”

“Ah, ha! tres honore—Je m'en souviens,—oui. J'ai connu autrefois un Milor Kenfarloque en Ecosse. Yes, I have memory of him—le pere de milor apparemment-we were vera intimate when I was at Oly Root with Monsieur de la Motte—I did often play at tennis vit Milor Kenfarloque at L'Abbaie d'Oly Root—il etoit meme plus fort que moi—Ah le beaucoup de revers qu'il avoit!—I have memory, too that he was among the pretty girls—ah, un vrai diable dechaine—Aha! I have memory—”

“Ah, yes! Tres honore—I remember him—yes. I once knew a Lord Kenfarloque in Scotland. Yes, I remember him—the father of the lord, apparently—we were very close when I was at Oly Root with Monsieur de la Motte—I often played tennis with Lord Kenfarloque at the Abbey of Oly Root—he was even better than me—Ah, the many backhands he had! I also remember that he was among the beautiful girls—ah, a real wild one—Aha! I remember—”

“Better have no more memory of the late Lord Glenvarloch,” said Lord Dalgarno, interrupting the Chevalier without ceremony; who perceived that the encomium which he was about to pass on the deceased was likely to be as disagreeable to the son as it was totally undeserved by the father, who, far from being either a gamester or libertine, as the Chevalier's reminiscences falsely represented him, was, on the contrary, strict and severe in his course of life, almost to the extent of rigour.

“It's better to forget about the late Lord Glenvarloch,” said Lord Dalgarno, cutting off the Chevalier without hesitation. The Chevalier realized that the praise he was about to give the deceased would be just as unpleasant for the son as it was completely undeserved by the father, who, rather than being a gambler or a libertine as the Chevalier's memories inaccurately portrayed him, was actually quite strict and severe in his lifestyle, almost to the point of being harsh.

“You have the reason, milor,” answered the Chevalier, “you have the right—Qu'est ce que nous avons a faire avec le temps passe?—the time passed did belong to our fathers—our ancetres—very well—the time present is to us—they have their pretty tombs with their memories and armorials, all in brass and marbre—we have the petits plats exquis, and the soupe-a-Chevalier, which I will cause to mount up immediately.”

“You're absolutely right, my lord,” replied the Chevalier, “you have a point—What do we have to do with the past?—the time that has passed belonged to our fathers—our ancestors—fair enough—the present time belongs to us—they have their lovely tombs with their memories and coats of arms, all in brass and marble—we have the exquisite dishes and the Chevalier soup, which I'll have brought up right away.”

So saying, he made a pirouette on his heel, and put his attendants in motion to place dinner on the table. Dalgarno laughed, and, observing his young friend looked grave, said to him, in a tone of reproach—“Why, what!—you are not gull enough to be angry with such an ass as that?”

So saying, he spun on his heel and signaled his attendants to set the table for dinner. Dalgarno laughed and, noticing that his young friend looked serious, said to him with a tone of disapproval, “What’s wrong? You're not actually upset with someone as foolish as that, are you?”

“I keep my anger, I trust, for better purposes,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but I confess I was moved to hear such a fellow mention my father's name—and you, too, who told me this was no gaming-house, talked to him of having left it with emptied pockets.”

“I save my anger, hopefully, for more important things,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but I admit I was upset to hear that guy mention my father's name—and you, who assured me this wasn’t a gambling house, talked to him about leaving it with empty pockets.”

“Pshaw, man!” said Lord Dalgarno, “I spoke but according to the trick of the time; besides, a man must set a piece or two sometimes, or he would be held a cullionly niggard. But here comes dinner, and we will see whether you like the Chevalier's good cheer better than his conversation.”

“Come on, man!” said Lord Dalgarno, “I was just going along with what's fashionable; besides, a guy has to flaunt a bit now and then, or people will think he's a complete miser. But here comes dinner, and we’ll see if you prefer the Chevalier's hospitality over his conversation.”

Dinner was announced accordingly, and the two friends, being seated in the most honourable station at the board, were ceremoniously attended to by the Chevalier, who did the honours of his table to them and to the other guests, and seasoned the whole with his agreeable conversation. The dinner was really excellent, in that piquant style of cookery which the French had already introduced, and which the home-bred young men of England, when they aspired to the rank of connoisseurs and persons of taste, were under the necessity of admiring. The wine was also of the first quality, and circulated in great variety, and no less abundance. The conversation among so many young men was, of course, light, lively, and amusing; and Nigel, whose mind had been long depressed by anxiety and misfortune, naturally found himself at ease, and his spirits raised and animated.

Dinner was announced, and the two friends were seated in the most honored spot at the table. The Chevalier took care of them and the other guests, adding a touch of charm with his engaging conversation. The meal was excellent, featuring the sharp and flavorful style of cooking that the French had introduced, which the young men of England admired when they wanted to be seen as connoisseurs and tastemakers. The wine was top-notch and came in great variety and abundance. With so many young men around, the conversation was lively and entertaining, and Nigel, who had been weighed down by worry and hardship, naturally felt more relaxed and uplifted.

Some of the company had real wit, and could use it both politely and to advantage; others were coxcombs, and were laughed at without discovering it; and, again, others were originals, who seemed to have no objection that the company should be amused with their folly instead of their wit. And almost all the rest who played any prominent part in the conversation had either the real tone of good society which belonged to the period, or the jargon which often passes current for it.

Some people in the group had genuine wit and could use it both politely and effectively; others were fools, ridiculed without realizing it; and there were also some unique characters who didn't mind being the source of amusement through their foolishness rather than their cleverness. Almost everyone else who took part in the conversation either had the true tone of good society that was typical of the time or the kind of pretentious talk that often pretends to be it.

In short, the company and conversation was so agreeable, that Nigel's rigour was softened by it, even towards the master of ceremonies, and he listened with patience to various details which the Chevalier de Beaujeu, seeing, as he said, that Milor's taste lay for the “curieux and Futile,” chose to address to him in particular, on the subject of cookery. To gratify, at the same time, the taste for antiquity, which he somehow supposed that his new guest possessed, he launched out in commendation of the great artists of former days, particularly one whom he had known in his youth, “Maitre de Cuisine to the Marechal Strozzi—tres bon gentilhomme pourtant;” who had maintained his master's table with twelve covers every day during the long and severe blockade of le petit Leyth, although he had nothing better to place on it than the quarter of a carrion-horse now and then, and the grass and weeds that grew on the ramparts. “Despardieux c'dtoit un homme superbe!” With one tistle-head, and a nettle or two, he could make a soupe for twenty guests—an haunch of a little puppy-dog made a roti des plus excellens; but his coupe de maitre was when the rendition—what you call the surrender, took place and appened; and then, dieu me damme, he made out of the hind quarter of one salted horse, forty-five couverts; that the English and Scottish officers and nobility, who had the honour to dine with Monseigneur upon the rendition, could not tell what the devil any of them were made upon at all.

In short, the company and conversation were so enjoyable that Nigel’s strictness was relaxed, even toward the master of ceremonies. He patiently listened to various details that the Chevalier de Beaujeu, noting that Milor had a taste for the “quirky and trivial,” directed specifically at him, focusing on cooking. To also satisfy what he assumed was his new guest's interest in antiquity, he praised the great chefs of the past, especially one he had known in his youth, “Master Chef to the Marechal Strozzi—a truly good gentleman.” This chef managed his master's table with twelve settings every day during the long and tough blockade of le petit Leyth, despite having nothing better than the quarter of an old horse now and then, along with the grass and weeds that grew on the ramparts. “Indeed, he was a remarkable man!” With just a thistle and a couple of nettles, he could create a soup for twenty guests— a haunch from a little puppy made one of the finest roasts; but his masterpiece was when the surrender happened. D—n it, he managed to create forty-five servings from the hindquarter of one salted horse, leaving the English and Scottish officers and nobility who had the honor of dining with Monseigneur during the surrender completely baffled about what they were eating.

The good wine had by this time gone so merrily round, and had such genial effect on the guests, that those of the lower end of the table, who had hitherto been listeners, began, not greatly to their own credit, or that of the ordinary, to make innovations.

The good wine had by this time circulated so joyfully and had such a warm impact on the guests that those at the lower end of the table, who had previously been just listening, started to make changes, not particularly to their own credit or that of the usual.

“You speak of the siege of Leith,” said a tall, raw-boned man, with thick mustaches turned up with a military twist, a broad buff belt, a long rapier, and other outward symbols of the honoured profession, which lives by killing other people—“you talk of the siege of Leith, and I have seen the place—a pretty kind of a hamlet it is, with a plain wall, or rampart, and a pigeon-house or so of a tower at every angle. Uds daggers and scabbards, if a leaguer of our days had been twenty-four hours, not to say so many months, before it, without carrying the place and all its cocklofts, one after another, by pure storm, they would have deserved no better grace than the Provost-Marshal gives when his noose is reeved.”

“You're talking about the siege of Leith,” said a tall, lean man with thick mustaches curled in a military style, a wide buff belt, a long rapier, and other outward signs of the esteemed profession that survives by killing others—“you mention the siege of Leith, and I’ve seen the place—it’s quite a charming little village, with a simple wall or rampart, and a tower or two at every corner. Goodness, if a siege in our time lasted twenty-four hours, let alone several months, without taking that place and all its nooks one after another by sheer force, they wouldn’t deserve any better treatment than what the Provost-Marshal gives when his noose is ready.”

“Saar,” said the Chevalier, “Monsieur le Capitaine, I vas not at the siege of the petit Leyth, and I know not what you say about the cockloft; but I will say for Monseigneur de Strozzi, that he understood the grande guerre, and was grand capitaine—plus grand—that is more great, it may be, than some of the capitaines of Angleterre, who do speak very loud—tenez, Monsieur, car c'est a vous!”

“Saar,” said the Chevalier, “Captain, I was not at the siege of the little Leyth, and I don’t know what you’re saying about the attic; but I will say for Monseigneur de Strozzi that he understood the great war and was a great captain—greater, perhaps, than some of the captains of England, who do speak very loudly—look, sir, because it’s for you!”

“O Monsieur.” answered the swordsman, “we know the Frenchman will fight well behind his barrier of stone, or when he is armed with back, breast, and pot.”

“O Monsieur,” replied the swordsman, “we know the Frenchman fights well behind his stone barrier, or when he's equipped with a back, chest, and helmet.”

“Pot!” exclaimed the Chevalier, “what do you mean by pot—do you mean to insult me among my noble guests? Saar, I have done my duty as a pauvre gentilhomme under the Grand Henri Quatre, both at Courtrai and Yvry, and, ventre saint gris! we had neither pot nor marmite, but did always charge in our shirt.”

“Pot!” shouted the Chevalier, “what do you mean by pot—are you trying to insult me in front of my noble guests? Sir, I have fulfilled my duty as a poor gentleman under the Great Henry IV, both at Courtrai and Ivry, and, for heaven’s sake! we had neither pot nor kettle, but we always charged in our shirts.”

“Which refutes another base scandal,” said Lord Dalgarno, laughing, “alleging that linen was scarce among the French gentlemen-at-arms.”

“Which disproves another ridiculous rumor,” said Lord Dalgarno, laughing, “claiming that linen was hard to find among the French gentlemen-at-arms.”

“Gentlemen out at arms and elbows both, you mean, my lord,” said the captain, from the bottom of the table. “Craving your lordship's pardon, I do know something of these same gens-d'armes.”

“Gentlemen, with their arms and elbows all over the place, you mean, my lord,” said the captain from the bottom of the table. “Excusing my lordship, I do know a bit about these same soldiers.”

“We will spare your knowledge at present, captain, and save your modesty at the same time the trouble of telling us how that knowledge was acquired,” answered Lord Dalgarno, rather contemptuously.

“We'll hold off on your knowledge for now, captain, and spare your modesty the effort of explaining how you gained it,” replied Lord Dalgarno, somewhat scornfully.

“I need not speak of it, my lord,” said the man of war; “the world knows it—all perhaps, but the men of mohair—the poor sneaking citizens of London, who would see a man of valour eat his very hilts for hunger, ere they would draw a farthing from their long purses to relieve them. O, if a band of the honest fellows I have seen were once to come near that cuckoo's nest of theirs!”

“I don’t need to say anything about it, my lord,” said the soldier; “everyone knows—everyone except those mohair-wearing men—the pathetic citizens of London, who would rather watch a brave man starve than give a penny from their deep pockets to help him. Oh, if just a group of the decent people I’ve seen would get close to that cuckoo's nest of theirs!”

“A cuckoo's nest!-and that said of the city of London!” said a gallant who sat on the opposite side of the table, and who, wearing a splendid and fashionable dress, seemed yet scarce at home in it—“I will not brook to hear that repeated.”

“A cuckoo's nest!—and that’s being said about the city of London!” said a guy sitting on the other side of the table, who, dressed in a fancy and stylish outfit, still seemed a bit out of place in it—“I won’t tolerate hearing that again.”

“What!” said the soldier, bending a most terrific frown from a pair of broad black eyebrows, handling the hilt of his weapon with one hand, and twirling with the other his huge mustaches; “will you quarrel for your city?”

“What!” said the soldier, giving a fierce frown from his broad black eyebrows, gripping the hilt of his weapon with one hand while twirling his huge mustaches with the other; “are you ready to fight for your city?”

“Ay, marry will I,” replied the other. “I am a citizen, I care not who knows it; and he who shall speak a word in dispraise of the city, is an ass and a peremptory gull, and I will break his pate, to teach him sense and manners.”

“Ay, definitely I will,” replied the other. “I’m a citizen, and I don’t care who knows it; anyone who talks down about the city is a fool and an obnoxious idiot, and I’ll break his head to teach him some sense and manners.”

The company, who probably had their reasons for not valuing the captain's courage at the high rate which he himself put upon it, were much entertained at the manner in which the quarrel was taken up by the indignant citizen; and they exclaimed on all sides, “Well run, Bow-bell!”—“Well crowed, the cock of Saint Paul's!”—“Sound a charge there, or the soldier will mistake his signals, and retreat when he should advance.”

The company, who likely had their reasons for not valuing the captain's courage as highly as he did, were quite entertained by the way the angry citizen reacted; and they exclaimed all around, “Nice job, Bow-bell!”—“Well done, the cock of Saint Paul's!”—“Sound a charge there, or the soldier will get confused and retreat when he should be advancing.”

“You mistake me, gentlemen,” said the captain, looking round with an air of dignity. “I will but inquire whether this cavaliero citizen is of rank and degree fitted to measure swords with a man of action; (for, conceive me, gentlemen, it is not with every one that I can match myself without loss of reputation;) and in that case he shall soon hear from me honourably, by way of cartel.”

“You're misunderstanding me, gentlemen,” said the captain, looking around with an air of dignity. “I just want to ask whether this gentleman is of a rank and status suitable to cross swords with a man of action; (because, believe me, gentlemen, I can't match wits with just anyone without losing my reputation;) and if that's the case, he will soon hear from me in an honorable way, through a challenge.”

“You shall feel me most dishonourably in the way of cudgel,” said the citizen, starting up, and taking his sword, which he had laid in a corner. “Follow me.”

“You're going to feel my wrath, for sure,” said the citizen, jumping up and grabbing the sword he had left in the corner. “Come with me.”

“It is my right to name the place of combat, by all the rules of the sword,” said the captain; “and I do nominate the Maze, in Tothill-Fields, for place—two gentlemen, who shall be indifferent judges, for witnesses;—and for time—let me say this day fortnight, at daybreak.”

“It’s my right to choose the location of the duel, according to all the rules of sword fighting,” said the captain. “I nominate the Maze in Tothill-Fields as the site—two gentlemen, who will be impartial judges, as witnesses—and for the time, let’s say this day in two weeks, at daybreak.”

“And I,” said the citizen, “do nominate the bowling-alley behind the house for place, the present good company for witnesses, and for time the present moment.”

“And I,” said the citizen, “nominate the bowling alley behind the house as the place, the good company here as witnesses, and the present moment as the time.”

So saying, he cast on his beaver, struck the soldier across the shoulders with his sheathed sword, and ran down stairs. The captain showed no instant alacrity to follow him; yet, at last, roused by the laugh and sneer around him, he assured the company, that what he did he would do deliberately, and, assuming his hat, which he put on with the air of Ancient Pistol, he descended the stairs to the place of combat, where his more prompt adversary was already stationed, with his sword unsheathed. Of the company, all of whom seemed highly delighted with the approaching fray, some ran to the windows which overlooked the bowling-alley, and others followed the combatants down stairs. Nigel could not help asking Dalgarno whether he would not interfere to prevent mischief.

So saying, he put on his hat, struck the soldier on the shoulders with his sheathed sword, and ran downstairs. The captain didn’t jump up to follow him right away; however, eventually, prompted by the laughter and mockery around him, he assured the group that he would act at his own pace. He put on his hat with the swagger of Ancient Pistol and headed down to the place of the fight, where his quicker opponent was already waiting with his sword drawn. The group, all of whom seemed really excited about the upcoming duel, either rushed to the windows overlooking the bowling alley or followed the fighters downstairs. Nigel couldn't help but ask Dalgarno if he wouldn’t step in to prevent trouble.

“It would be a crime against the public interest,” answered his friend; “there can no mischief happen between two such originals, which will not be a positive benefit to society, and particularly to the Chevalier's establishment, as he calls it. I have been as sick of that captain's buff belt, and red doublet, for this month past, as e'er I was of aught; and now I hope this bold linendraper will cudgel the ass out of that filthy lion's hide. See, Nigel, see the gallant citizen has ta'en his ground about a bowl's-cast forward, in the midst of the alley—the very model of a hog in armour. Behold how he prances with his manly foot, and brandishes his blade, much as if he were about to measure forth cambric with it. See, they bring on the reluctant soldado, and plant him opposite to his fiery antagonist, twelve paces still dividing them—Lo, the captain draws his tool, but, like a good general, looks over his shoulder to secure his retreat, in case the worse come on't. Behold the valiant shop-keeper stoops his head, confident, doubtless, in the civic helmet with which his spouse has fortified his skull—Why, this is the rarest of sport. By Heaven, he will run a tilt at him, like a ram.”

“It would be wrong for the public,” his friend replied; “nothing bad can happen between two such characters that wouldn’t actually be good for society, and especially for what the Chevalier calls his establishment. I've been so tired of that captain's buff belt and red jacket for the past month, as sick as I've ever been of anything; and now I hope this bold linen merchant will knock some sense into that filthy lion's hide. Look, Nigel, see how the brave citizen has taken his position about a bowl's throw ahead, right in the middle of the alley—the perfect example of a hog in armor. Watch him prance with his manly step and wave his blade, almost as if he’s about to measure out fabric with it. Look, they’re bringing in the unwilling soldier and placing him across from his fiery opponent, still twelve paces apart—See, the captain draws his weapon, but like a good general, he glances over his shoulder to ensure a way out in case things go badly. Look at the brave shopkeeper lean his head forward, surely confident in the protective helmet his wife has placed on him—This is the greatest entertainment. By heaven, he’ll charge at him like a ram.”

It was even as Lord Dalgarno had anticipated; for the citizen, who seemed quite serious in his zeal for combat, perceiving that the man of war did not advance towards him, rushed onwards with as much good fortune as courage, beat down the captain's guard, and, pressing on, thrust, as it seemed, his sword clear through the body of his antagonist, who, with a deep groan, measured his length on the ground. A score of voices cried to the conqueror, as he stood fixed in astonishment at his own feat, “Away, away with you!—fly, fly—fly by the back door!—get into the Whitefriars, or cross the water to the Bankside, while we keep off the mob and the constables.” And the conqueror, leaving his vanquished foeman on the ground, fled accordingly, with all speed.

It was exactly as Lord Dalgarno had expected; the citizen, who appeared completely serious about fighting, noticing that the soldier wasn’t moving toward him, rushed forward with as much luck as bravery, overwhelmed the captain's guard, and kept going, seemingly driving his sword straight through his opponent's body, who then collapsed to the ground with a deep groan. A crowd of voices shouted to the victor, as he stood there in shock at what he had just done, “Get out of here! Run, run—escape through the back door!—head into the Whitefriars, or cross the river to the Bankside, while we hold off the crowd and the police.” And the victor, leaving his defeated foe on the ground, fled quickly as instructed.

“By Heaven,” said Lord Dalgarno, “I could never have believed that the fellow would have stood to receive a thrust—he has certainly been arrested by positive terror, and lost the use of his limbs. See, they are raising him.”

“By Heaven,” said Lord Dalgarno, “I could never have believed that the guy would just stand there and take a hit—he’s clearly frozen by sheer terror and can’t move. Look, they’re lifting him up.”

Stiff and stark seemed the corpse of the swordsman, as one or two of the guests raised him from the ground; but, when they began to open his waistcoat to search for the wound which nowhere existed, the man of war collected, his scattered spirits; and, conscious that the ordinary was no longer a stage on which to display his valour, took to his heels as fast as he could run, pursued by the laughter and shouts of the company.

Stiff and lifeless looked the swordsman's body as a couple of the guests lifted him from the ground; but when they started to open his waistcoat to look for the wound that wasn't there, the warrior gathered his scattered thoughts and realized that the ordinary wasn't a place to show off his bravery anymore, so he took off running as fast as he could, chased by the laughter and cheers of the crowd.

“By my honour,” said Lord Dalgarno, “he takes the same course with his conqueror. I trust in heaven he will overtake him, and then the valiant citizen will suppose himself haunted by the ghost of him he has slain.”

“By my honor,” said Lord Dalgarno, “he's taking the same path as his conqueror. I pray to heaven he catches up to him, and then the brave citizen will think he's being haunted by the ghost of the man he killed.”

“Despardieux, milor,” said the Chevalier, “if he had stayed one moment, he should have had a torchon—what you call a dishclout, pinned to him for a piece of shroud, to show he be de ghost of one grand fanfaron.”

“Despardieux, milor,” said the Chevalier, “if he had stayed even a moment, he would have had a torchon—what you call a dishcloth, pinned to him as a makeshift shroud, to show he was the ghost of one big boastful guy.”

“In the meanwhile,” said Lord Dalgarno, “you will oblige us, Monsieur le Chevalier, as well as maintain your own honoured reputation, by letting your drawers receive the man-at-arms with a cudgel, in case he should venture to come way again.”

“In the meantime,” said Lord Dalgarno, “you will do us a favor, Monsieur le Chevalier, and also uphold your own respected reputation, by having your staff greet the guard with a club, in case he decides to come this way again.”

“Ventre saint gris, milor,” said the Chevalier, “leave that to me.—Begar, the maid shall throw the wash-sud upon the grand poltron!”

“Holy smokes, my lord,” said the Chevalier, “leave that to me.—By God, the maid will throw the laundry water on the big coward!”

When they had laughed sufficiently at this ludicrous occurrence, the party began to divide themselves into little knots—some took possession of the alley, late the scene of combat, and put the field to its proper use of a bowling-ground, and it soon resounded with all the terms of the game, as “run, run-rub, rub—hold bias, you infernal trundling timber!” thus making good the saying, that three things are thrown away in a bowling-green, namely, time, money, and oaths. In the house, many of the gentlemen betook themselves to cards or dice, and parties were formed at Ombre, at Basset, at Gleek, at Primero, and other games then in fashion; while the dice were used at various games, both with and without the tables, as Hazard, In-and-in, Passage, and so forth. The play, however, did not appear to be extravagantly deep; it was certainly conducted with great decorum and fairness; nor did there appear any thing to lead the young Scotsman in the least to doubt his companion's assurance, that the place was frequented by men of rank and quality, and that the recreations they adopted were conducted upon honourable principles.

After they had laughed enough at this ridiculous situation, the group started to break into smaller circles—some claimed the alley, which had recently been the site of a fight, and turned it into a bowling green. It quickly filled with the sounds of the game, with shouts like, “run, run-rub, rub—hold bias, you infuriating rolling wood!” This made true the saying that three things are wasted on a bowling green: time, money, and swearing. Inside the house, many of the gentlemen turned to cards or dice, forming groups to play Ombre, Basset, Gleek, Primero, and other trendy games; meanwhile, dice were rolled for various games, both with and without tables, like Hazard, In-and-in, Passage, and so on. However, the gambling didn’t seem outrageously excessive; it was definitely carried out with great decorum and fairness. There was nothing to make the young Scotsman doubt his companion’s claim that the place was frequented by men of high status and that the games they played were based on honorable principles.

Lord Dalgarno neither had proposed play to his friend, nor joined in the amusement himself, but sauntered from one table to another, remarking the luck of the different players, as well as their capacity to avail themselves of it, and exchanging conversation with the highest and most respectable of the guests. At length, as if tired of what in modern phrase would have been termed lounging, he suddenly remembered that Burbage was to act Shakespeare's King Richard, at the Fortune, that afternoon, and that he could not give a stranger in London, like Lord Glenvarloch, a higher entertainment than to carry him to that exhibition; “unless, indeed,” he added, in a whisper, “there is paternal interdiction of the theatre as well as of the ordinary.”

Lord Dalgarno hadn't suggested playing to his friend or joined in the fun himself, but he strolled from one table to another, observing the luck of the various players and their skills in making the most of it, while chatting with the highest and most respectable guests. Finally, as if he was tired of what we would now call lounging, he suddenly remembered that Burbage was going to perform Shakespeare's King Richard at the Fortune that afternoon, and he thought he couldn't offer a newcomer to London like Lord Glenvarloch a better experience than taking him to that show; “unless, of course,” he added in a whisper, “there's a parental ban on the theater as well as on regular entertainment.”

“I never heard my father speak of stage-plays,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “for they are shows of a modern date, and unknown in Scotland. Yet, if what I have heard to their prejudice be true, I doubt much whether he would have approved of them.”

“I never heard my father talk about stage plays,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “because they are a recent thing and not known in Scotland. However, if what I've heard about them is accurate, I really doubt he would have liked them.”

“Approved of them!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno—“why, George Buchanan wrote tragedies, and his pupil, learned and wise as himself, goes to see them, so it is next door to treason to abstain; and the cleverest men in England write for the stage, and the prettiest women in London resort to the playhouses, and I have a brace of nags at the door which will carry us along the streets like wild-fire, and the ride will digest our venison and ortolans, and dissipate the fumes of the wine, and so let's to horse—Godd'en to you, gentlemen—Godd'en, Chevalier de la Fortune.”

“Approved of them!” exclaimed Lord Dalgarno. “Well, George Buchanan wrote tragedies, and his talented and wise student goes to see them, so it’s almost treason to skip it; plus, the smartest men in England are writing for the stage, and the most beautiful women in London go to the theaters. I’ve got a couple of horses out front that will take us through the streets like wildfire, and the ride will help us digest our venison and ortolans, and clear our heads from the wine. So let’s get on our horses—good evening to you, gentlemen—good evening, Chevalier de la Fortune.”

Lord Dalgarno's grooms were in attendance with two horses, and the young men mounted, the proprietor upon a favourite barb, and Nigel upon a high-dressed jennet, scarce less beautiful. As they rode towards the theatre, Lord Dalgarno endeavoured to discover his friend's opinion of the company to which he had introduced him, and to combat the exceptions which he might suppose him to have taken. “And wherefore lookest thou sad,” he said, “my pensive neophyte? Sage son of the Alma Mater of Low-Dutch learning, what aileth thee? Is the leaf of the living world which we have turned over in company, less fairly written than thou hadst been taught to expect? Be comforted, and pass over one little blot or two; thou wilt be doomed to read through many a page, as black as Infamy, with her sooty pinion, can make them. Remember, most immaculate Nigel, that we are in London, not Leyden—that we are studying life, not lore. Stand buff against the reproach of thine over-tender conscience, man, and when thou summest up, like a good arithmetician, the actions of the day, before you balance the account on your pillow, tell the accusing spirit, to his brimstone beard, that if thine ears have heard the clatter of the devil's bones, thy hand hath not trowled them—that if thine eye hath seen the brawling of two angry boys, thy blade hath not been bared in their fray.”

Lord Dalgarno's grooms were there with two horses, and the young men got on, the owner riding a favorite stallion and Nigel on a beautifully groomed mare, almost just as stunning. As they rode toward the theater, Lord Dalgarno tried to gauge his friend's opinion of the crowd he had introduced him to and to address any concerns he thought he might have. “Why do you look so sad,” he asked, “my thoughtful newcomer? Wise son of the Alma Mater of Low-Dutch learning, what's bothering you? Is the page of the real world we’ve turned together not as well-written as you expected? Don’t get upset about one little mistake or two; you're going to have to read many pages as dark as Infamy itself. Remember, most virtuous Nigel, that we're in London, not Leyden—that we’re exploring life, not just books. Stand firm against the judgment of your overly sensitive conscience, my friend, and when you reflect, like a good mathematician, on the events of the day, before you settle down for the night, tell that nagging thought that if your ears have heard the noise of trouble, your hands haven’t joined in—that if your eyes have witnessed two angry boys fighting, your sword hasn’t been drawn in their brawl.”

“Now, all this may be wise and witty,” replied Nigel; “yet I own I cannot think but that your lordship, and other men of good quality with whom we dined, might have chosen a place of meeting free from the intrusion of bullies, and a better master of your ceremonial than yonder foreign adventurer.”

“Now, all that may be clever and amusing,” replied Nigel; “still, I must admit that I think you, my lord, and the other respectable men we dined with, could have picked a meeting place away from bullies and a better host for your ceremony than that foreign newcomer over there.”

“All shall be amended, Sancte Nigelle, when thou shalt come forth a new Peter the Hermit, to preach a crusade against dicing, drabbing, and company-keeping. We will meet for dinner in Saint Sepulchre's Church; we will dine in the chancel, drink our flask in the vestry, the parson shall draw every cork, and the clerk say amen to every health. Come man, cheer up, and get rid of this sour and unsocial humour. Credit me, that the Puritans who object to us the follies and the frailties incident to human nature, have themselves the vices of absolute devils, privy malice and backbiting hypocrisy, and spiritual pride in all its presumption. There is much, too, in life which we must see, were it only to learn to shun it. Will Shakespeare, who lives after death, and who is presently to afford thee such pleasure as none but himself can confer, has described the gallant Falconbridge as calling that man

“All will be fixed, Sancte Nigelle, when you come forth like a new Peter the Hermit to preach a crusade against gambling, drunkenness, and bad company. We’ll meet for dinner at Saint Sepulchre's Church; we’ll eat in the chancel, share drinks in the vestry, the parson will pop every cork, and the clerk will say amen to every toast. Come on, cheer up, and shake off this gloomy and anti-social mood. Trust me, the Puritans who criticize us for the follies and weaknesses that come with being human have their own wickedness—hidden malice, backstabbing hypocrisy, and an arrogant spiritual pride. There’s a lot in life that we need to experience, if only to learn to avoid it. Will Shakespeare, who lives on even after death and who will give you joy like no one else can, has depicted the brave Falconbridge as saying that man

  ——' a bastard to the time,
  That doth not smack of observation;
  Which, though I will not practise to deceive,
  Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn.”
 
  ——‘ a child of this era,  
  That doesn’t reflect on being noticed;  
  Which, even though I won’t try to trick,  
  Yet, to stay clear of deception, I plan to understand.’  

But here we are at the door of the Fortune, where we shall have matchless Will speaking for himself.—Goblin, and you other lout, leave the horses to the grooms, and make way for us through the press.”

But here we are at the door of the Fortune, where we’ll hear unmatched Will speaking for himself.—Goblin, and you other fools, leave the horses to the grooms and let us through the crowd.

They dismounted, and the assiduous efforts of Lutin, elbowing, bullying, and proclaiming his master's name and title, made way through a crowd of murmuring citizens, and clamorous apprentices, to the door, where Lord Dalgarno speedily procured a brace of stools upon the stage for his companion and himself, where, seated among other gallants of the same class, they had an opportunity of displaying their fair dresses and fashionable manners, while they criticised the piece during its progress; thus forming, at the same time, a conspicuous part of the spectacle, and an important proportion of the audience.

They got off their horses, and Lutin’s tireless efforts—elbowing, pushing, and announcing his master’s name and title—made a path through a crowd of murmuring citizens and noisy apprentices to the door. Lord Dalgarno quickly got a couple of stools on the stage for himself and his companion. Seated among other stylish gentlemen, they had the chance to show off their fine clothes and trendy manners while critiquing the performance as it unfolded. In doing so, they became a noticeable part of the spectacle and a significant portion of the audience.

Nigel Olifaunt was too eagerly and deeply absorbed in the interest of the scene, to be capable of playing his part as became the place where he was seated. He felt all the magic of that sorcerer, who had displayed, within the paltry circle of a wooden booth, the long wars of York and Lancaster, compelling the heroes of either line to stalk across the scene in language and fashion as they lived, as if the grave had given up the dead for the amusement and instruction of the living. Burbage, esteemed the best Richard until Garrick arose, played the tyrant and usurper with such truth and liveliness, that when the Battle of Bosworth seemed concluded by his death, the ideas of reality and deception were strongly contending in Lord Glenvarloch's imagination, and it required him to rouse himself from his reverie, so strange did the proposal at first sound when his companion declared King Richard should sup with them at the Mermaid.

Nigel Olifaunt was so caught up in the scene that he couldn't focus on playing his part as expected for where he was sitting. He felt the magic of that performer who had brought to life the long struggles of York and Lancaster in a simple wooden booth, making the heroes from both sides come alive in speech and style as if the dead had returned for the entertainment and education of the living. Burbage, regarded as the best Richard until Garrick came along, played the tyrant and usurper with such authenticity and energy that when the Battle of Bosworth seemed to end with his death, Lord Glenvarloch found himself torn between what was real and what was fictional. It took a moment for him to shake off his daydream when his companion suggested that King Richard should join them for dinner at the Mermaid.

They were joined, at the same time, by a small party of the gentlemen with whom they had dined, which they recruited by inviting two or three of the most accomplished wits and poets, who seldom failed to attend the Fortune Theatre, and were even but too ready to conclude a day of amusement with a night of pleasure. Thither the whole party adjourned, and betwixt fertile cups of sack, excited spirits, and the emulous wit of their lively companions, seemed to realise the joyous boast of one of Ben Jonson's contemporaries, when reminding the bard of

They were soon joined by a small group of the gentlemen they had dined with, and they expanded their party by inviting a few of the most talented wits and poets who often attended the Fortune Theatre, and who were more than willing to wrap up a fun day with a night of enjoyment. The whole group headed there, and with plenty of drinks, lively spirits, and the competitive humor of their entertaining companions, they seemed to embody the cheerful claim made by one of Ben Jonson's contemporaries, when reminding the poet of

            “Those lyric feasts,
     Where men such clusters had,
     As made them nobly wild, not mad;
     While yet each verse of thine
     Outdid the meat, outdid the frolic wine.”
 
            “Those lyrical banquets,
     Where people enjoyed such abundance,
     That it made them passionately free, not insane;
     While every line of yours
     Surpassed the food, surpassed the playful wine.”










CHAPTER XIII

    Let the proud salmon gorge the feather'd hook,
    Then strike, and then you have him—He will wince;
    Spin out your line that it shall whistle from you
    Some twenty yards or so, yet you shall have him—
    Marry! you must have patience—the stout rock
    Which is his trust, hath edges something sharp;
    And the deep pool hath ooze and sludge enough
    To mar your fishing—'less you are more careful.
                Albion, or the Double Kings.
    Let the proud salmon bite the feathered hook,  
    Then set the hook, and you've got him—He'll flinch;  
    Let out your line so it whistles from you  
    About twenty yards or so, but you’ll have him—  
    But wait! You need patience—the sturdy rock  
    He trusts has some pretty sharp edges;  
    And the deep pool has enough mud and muck  
    To ruin your fishing—unless you’re more careful.  
                Albion, or the Double Kings.

It is seldom that a day of pleasure, upon review, seems altogether so exquisite as the partaker of the festivity may have felt it while passing over him. Nigel Olifaunt, at least, did not feel it so, and it required a visit from his new acquaintance, Lord Dalgarno, to reconcile him entirely to himself. But this visit took place early after breakfast, and his friend's discourse was prefaced with a question, How he liked the company of the preceding evening?

It’s rare for a day filled with enjoyment to appear as wonderful in hindsight as it felt in the moment. Nigel Olifaunt, at least, didn't feel that way, and it took a visit from his new friend, Lord Dalgarno, to help him fully come to terms with himself. This visit happened soon after breakfast, and his friend's conversation began with a question about how he had liked the company from the previous evening.

“Why, excellently well,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “only I should have liked the wit better had it appeared to flow more freely. Every man's invention seemed on the stretch, and each extravagant simile seemed to set one half of your men of wit into a brown study to produce something which should out-herod it.”

“Why, very well,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but I would have enjoyed the humor more if it seemed to come more naturally. Everyone appeared to be trying hard, and each over-the-top comparison seemed to make half of your clever people deep in thought, trying to come up with something even more outrageous.”

“And wherefore not?” said Lord Dalgarno, “or what are these fellows fit for, but to play the intellectual gladiators before us? He of them who declares himself recreant, should, d—n him, be restricted to muddy ale, and the patronage of the Waterman's Company. I promise you, that many a pretty fellow has been mortally wounded with a quibble or a carwitchet at the Mermaid, and sent from thence, in a pitiable estate, to Wit's hospital in the Vintry, where they languish to this day amongst fools and aldermen.”

“And why not?” said Lord Dalgarno. “What are these guys here for, if not to be intellectual gladiators for us? Anyone who gives up should, damn him, be stuck with cheap beer and the support of the Waterman's Company. I assure you, many a charming fellow has been seriously hurt by a clever remark or a witty comeback at the Mermaid, and has ended up in a sorry state at Wit's hospital in the Vintry, where they still suffer among fools and city politicians.”

“It may be so,” said Lord Nigel; “yet I could swear by my honour, that last night I seemed to be in company with more than one man whose genius and learning ought either to have placed him higher in our company, or to have withdrawn him altogether from a scene, where, sooth to speak, his part seemed unworthily subordinate.”

“It might be true,” said Lord Nigel; “but I could honestly swear that last night I felt like I was with more than one person whose talent and knowledge should either have elevated him in our group or removed him entirely from a situation where, to be honest, his role seemed unjustly minor.”

“Now, out upon your tender conscience,” said Lord Dalgarno; “and the fico for such outcasts of Parnassus! Why, these are the very leavings of that noble banquet of pickled herrings and Rhenish, which lost London so many of her principal witmongers and bards of misrule. What would you have said had you seen Nash or Green, when you interest yourself about the poor mimes you supped with last night? Suffice it, they had their drench and their doze, and they drank and slept as much as may save them from any necessity of eating till evening, when, if they are industrious, they will find patrons or players to feed them. [Footnote: The condition of men of wit and talents was never more melancholy than about this period. Their lives were so irregular, and their means of living so precarious, that they were alternately rioting in debauchery, or encountering and struggling with the meanest necessities. Two or three lost their lives by a surfeit brought on by that fatal banquet of Rhenish wine and pickled herrings, which is familiar to those who study the lighter literature of that age. The whole history is a most melancholy picture of genius, degraded at once by its own debaucheries, and the patronage of heartless rakes and profligates.] For the rest of their wants, they can be at no loss for cold water while the New River head holds good; and your doublets of Parnassus are eternal in duration.”

“Now, think about your kind heart,” said Lord Dalgarno; “and forget about these outcasts of Parnassus! These are just the leftovers from that grand feast of pickled herring and Rhenish wine, which cost London so many of its top wits and troublemaking poets. What would you have said if you had seen Nash or Green when you’re concerned about the poor performers you had dinner with last night? Suffice it to say, they had their fill of drinks and sleep, enough to get by without eating until evening, when, if they’re lucky, they might find some patrons or fellow performers to help feed them. [Footnote: The situation for witty and talented individuals was never as grim as it was around this time. Their lives were chaotic, and their means of survival were so unstable that they swung between wild partying and struggling with the most basic needs. A couple of them even lost their lives from overeating after that notorious feast of Rhenish wine and pickled herring, which those who study the lighter literature of that period are familiar with. The entire story paints a sad picture of genius, brought low by its own excesses and the support of heartless pleasure-seekers and degenerates.] As for their other needs, they won’t struggle to find cold water as long as the New River flows, and your Parnassian garments last forever.”

“Virgil and Horace had more efficient patronage,” said Nigel.

“Virgil and Horace had better support from their patrons,” said Nigel.

“Ay,” replied his countryman, “but these fellows are neither Virgil nor Horace; besides, we have other spirits of another sort, to whom I will introduce you on some early occasion. Our Swan of Avon hath sung his last; but we have stout old Ben, with as much learning and genius as ever prompted the treader of sock and buskin. It is not, however, of him I mean now to speak; but I come to pray you, of dear love, to row up with me as far as Richmond, where two or three of the gallants whom you saw yesterday, mean to give music and syllabubs to a set of beauties, with some curious bright eyes among them—such, I promise you, as might win an astrologer from his worship of the galaxy. My sister leads the bevy, to whom I desire to present you. She hath her admirers at Court; and is regarded, though I might dispense with sounding her praise, as one of the beauties of the time.”

“Yeah,” replied his countryman, “but these guys aren’t Virgil or Horace; besides, we have other kinds of talents that I’ll introduce you to sometime soon. Our Swan of Avon has sung his last; but we still have good old Ben, who has as much knowledge and creativity as anyone who ever tread the stage. However, I’m not talking about him right now; I’m here to ask you, out of friendship, to row up to Richmond with me. A couple of the guys you saw yesterday are planning to provide music and syllabubs for a group of beautiful women, with some incredibly captivating eyes among them—such that I promise you, might even turn an astrologer away from his star-gazing. My sister is leading the group, and I’d like to introduce you to her. She has her admirers at Court and is considered, though I don’t need to boast about her, one of the beauties of the time.”

There was no refusing an engagement, where the presence of the party invited, late so low in his own regard, was demanded by a lady of quality, one of the choice beauties of the time. Lord Glenvarloch accepted, as was inevitable, and spent a lively day among the gay and the fair. He was the gallant in attendance, for the day, upon his friend's sister, the beautiful Countess of Blackchester, who aimed at once at superiority in the realms of fashion, of power, and of wit.

There was no way to decline an invitation, especially when a lady of high status, one of the standout beauties of the time, insisted on the presence of someone who thought so little of himself. Lord Glenvarloch accepted, as was expected, and had an enjoyable day among the lively and attractive. He was the charming companion for the day to his friend’s sister, the stunning Countess of Blackchester, who aspired to excel in fashion, influence, and cleverness.

She was, indeed, considerably older than her brother, and had probably completed her six lustres; but the deficiency in extreme youth was more than atoned for, in the most precise and curious accuracy in attire, an early acquaintance with every foreign mode, and a peculiar gift in adapting the knowledge which she acquired, to her own particular features and complexion. At Court, she knew as well as any lady in the circle, the precise tone, moral, political, learned, or jocose, in which it was proper to answer the monarch, according to his prevailing humour; and was supposed to have been very active, by her personal interest, in procuring her husband a high situation, which the gouty old viscount could never have deserved by any merit of his own commonplace conduct and understanding.

She was definitely significantly older than her brother and had likely reached her thirties, but the lack of extreme youth was more than compensated for by her impeccable and unique sense of style, her early exposure to every foreign fashion, and her special talent for adapting what she learned to suit her own features and skin tone. At Court, she was just as aware as any lady in the group of the exact tone—be it moral, political, scholarly, or light-hearted—that was appropriate when speaking to the monarch, depending on his mood. It was believed that she had played a very active role, through her personal influence, in securing her husband a prestigious position that the aging, gout-riddled viscount could never have earned through his own ordinary behavior and understanding.

It was far more easy for this lady than for her brother, to reconcile so young a courtier as Lord Glenvarloch to the customs and habits of a sphere so new to him. In all civilised society, the females of distinguished rank and beauty give the tone to manners, and, through these, even to morals. Lady Blackchester had, besides, interest either in the Court, or over the Court, (for its source could not be well traced,) which created friends, and overawed those who might have been disposed to play the part of enemies.

It was much easier for this lady than for her brother to help the young courtier, Lord Glenvarloch, adjust to a world so unfamiliar to him. In all civilized society, women of high rank and beauty set the standard for etiquette and, through that, even for morals. Lady Blackchester also had connections either within the Court or influencing it (the exact source of which was hard to pinpoint), which garnered her friends and intimidated those who might have otherwise acted as enemies.

At one time, she was understood to be closely leagued with the Buckingham family, with whom her brother still maintained a great intimacy; and, although some coldness had taken place betwixt the Countess and the Duchess of Buckingham, so that they were little seen together, and the former seemed considerably to have withdrawn herself into privacy, it was whispered that Lady Blackchester's interest with the great favourite was not diminished in consequence of her breach with his lady.

At one point, she was seen as being closely connected to the Buckingham family, with whom her brother still had a strong friendship; and, although there had been some tension between the Countess and the Duchess of Buckingham, leading to them spending little time together, and the former appearing to retreat into privacy, it was rumored that Lady Blackchester's influence with the favored one was still strong despite her fallout with his wife.

Our accounts of the private Court intrigues of that period, and of the persons to whom they were intrusted, are not full enough to enable us to pronounce upon the various reports which arose out of the circumstances we have detailed. It is enough to say, that Lady Blackchester possessed great influence on the circle around her, both from her beauty, her abilities, and her reputed talents for Court intrigue; and that Nigel Olifaunt was not long of experiencing its power, as he became a slave in some degree to that species of habit, which carries so many men into a certain society at a certain hour, without expecting or receiving any particular degree of gratification, or even amusement.

Our accounts of the private court intrigues from that time, and the people involved, aren’t detailed enough for us to comment on the various rumors that came up from the situations we've outlined. It’s enough to say that Lady Blackchester had a significant influence over her circle due to her beauty, talents, and a reputation for court intrigue. Nigel Olifaunt soon felt the impact of this influence, becoming somewhat of a slave to the habit that pulls many men into certain social scenes at specific times, without anticipating or getting any real satisfaction or even enjoyment.

His life for several weeks may be thus described. The ordinary was no bad introduction to the business of the day; and the young lord quickly found, that if the society there was not always irreproachable, still it formed the most convenient and agreeable place of meeting with the fashionable parties, with whom he visited Hyde Park, the theatres, and other places of public resort, or joined the gay and glittering circle which Lady Blackchester had assembled around her. Neither did he entertain the same scrupulous horror which led him originally even to hesitate entering into a place where gaming was permitted; but, on the contrary, began to admit the idea, that as there could be no harm done in beholding such recreation when only indulged in to a moderate degree, so, from a parity of reasoning, there could be no objection to joining in it, always under the same restrictions. But the young lord was a Scotsman, habituated to early reflection, and totally unaccustomed to any habit which inferred a careless risk or profuse waste of money. Profusion was not his natural vice, or one likely to be acquired in the course of his education; and, in all probability, while his father anticipated with noble horror the idea of his son approaching the gaming-table, he was more startled at the idea of his becoming a gaining than a losing adventurer. The second, according to his principles, had a termination, a sad one indeed, in the loss of temporal fortune—the first quality went on increasing the evil which he dreaded, and perilled at once both body and soul.

His life for several weeks can be described like this. The usual routine wasn’t a bad way to start the day; and the young lord quickly realized that while the company wasn’t always perfect, it was the most convenient and enjoyable place to meet fashionable crowds, with whom he visited Hyde Park, the theaters, and other public spots, or joined the lively circle that Lady Blackchester had gathered around her. He no longer felt the same intense horror that made him hesitate to enter a place where gambling was allowed; instead, he began to think that there was no harm in watching such entertainment in moderation, and by the same reasoning, there was no objection to participating, as long as it was done with the same limits. But the young lord was a Scotsman, used to reflective thought, and completely unfamiliar with any habit that suggested careless risk or wasteful spending. Wastefulness wasn’t his natural vice, nor one he would likely pick up during his upbringing; and probably, while his father dreaded the idea of his son approaching the gaming table with noble worry, he was more alarmed at the thought of him becoming a winner than a loser. According to his principles, losing money had an endpoint, which was certainly unfortunate, in the loss of material wealth—the first quality persisted in increasing the problem he feared and endangered both body and soul.

However the old lord might ground his apprehension, it was so far verified by his son's conduct, that, from an observer of the various games of chance which he witnessed, he came, by degrees, by moderate hazards, and small bets or wagers, to take a certain interest in them. Nor could it be denied, that his rank and expectations entitled him to hazard a few pieces (for his game went no deeper) against persons, who, from the readiness with which they staked their money, might be supposed well able to afford to lose it.

However the old lord might justify his concerns, it was confirmed by his son's behavior that, as he watched the different gambling games, he gradually developed a keen interest in them through modest risks and small bets. It was also undeniable that his status and future prospects allowed him to wager a few coins (for his stakes were minor) against individuals who, due to their eagerness to bet, seemed quite capable of handling losses.

It chanced, or, perhaps, according to the common belief, his evil genius had so decreed, that Nigel's adventures were remarkably successful. He was temperate, cautious, cool-headed, had a strong memory, and a ready power of calculation; was besides, of a daring and intrepid character, one upon whom no one that had looked even slightly, or spoken to though but hastily, would readily have ventured to practise any thing approaching to trick, or which required to be supported by intimidation. While Lord Glenvarloch chose to play, men played with him regularly, or, according to the phrase, upon the square; and, as he found his luck change, or wished to hazard his good fortune no farther, the more professed votaries of fortune, who frequented the house of Monsieur le Chevalier de Saint Priest Beaujeu, did not venture openly to express their displeasure at his rising a winner. But when this happened repeatedly, the gamesters murmured amongst themselves equally at the caution and the success of the young Scotsman; and he became far from being a popular character among their society.

It so happened, or maybe according to popular belief, that Nigel's adventures were quite successful. He was temperate, careful, level-headed, had a strong memory, and was quick with calculations; on top of that, he was bold and fearless, someone who anyone who had even just glanced at him, or spoken to him briefly, wouldn't have dared to try anything sneaky or intimidating. Whenever Lord Glenvarloch chose to play, people played with him fairly, or, as they say, on the level; and as he noticed his luck changing, or didn’t want to push his good fortune any further, the more dedicated gamblers who visited the place of Monsieur le Chevalier de Saint Priest Beaujeu didn’t openly show their frustration at his winning streak. But when this happened repeatedly, the gamblers grumbled among themselves equally about the caution and success of the young Scotsman, and he became far from a popular figure in their circle.

It was no slight inducement to the continuance of this most evil habit, when it was once in some degree acquired, that it seemed to place Lord Glenvarloch, haughty as he naturally was, beyond the necessity of subjecting himself to farther pecuniary obligations, which his prolonged residence in London must otherwise have rendered necessary. He had to solicit from the ministers certain forms of office, which were to render his sign-manual effectually useful; and these, though they could not be denied, were delayed in such a manner, as to lead Nigel to believe there was some secret opposition, which occasioned the demur in his business. His own impulse was, to have appeared at Court a second time, with the king's sign-manual in his pocket, and to have appealed to his Majesty himself, whether the delay of the public officers ought to render his royal generosity unavailing. But the Lord Huntinglen, that good old peer, who had so frankly interfered in his behalf on a former occasion, and whom he occasionally visited, greatly dissuaded him from a similar adventure, and exhorted him quietly to await the deliverance of the ministers, which should set him free from dancing attendance in London.

It wasn’t a small incentive to keep up this terrible habit, once it was somewhat established, since it seemed to allow Lord Glenvarloch, proud as he was, to avoid taking on more financial obligations that his extended stay in London would have otherwise required. He needed to ask the ministers for certain official forms that would make his sign-manual truly effective; however, these requests, though they couldn’t be refused, were delayed in such a way that made Nigel think there was some hidden resistance causing the hold-up in his business. His instinct was to show up at Court again with the king's sign-manual in hand and ask His Majesty himself whether the hold-up by the public officers should make his royal generosity ineffective. But Lord Huntinglen, that good old nobleman, who had previously supported him so openly, and whom he sometimes visited, strongly urged him against such a move and advised him to patiently wait for the ministers to act, which would free him from having to hang around in London.

Lord Dalgarno joined his father in deterring his young friend from a second attendance at Court, at least till he was reconciled with the Duke of Buckingham—“a matter in which,” he said, addressing his father, “I have offered my poor assistance, without being able to prevail on Lord Nigel to make any—not even the least—submission to the Duke of Buckingham.”

Lord Dalgarno joined his father in advising their young friend against going back to Court, at least until he made amends with the Duke of Buckingham—“a situation in which,” he said to his father, “I’ve offered my humble help, but I haven’t been able to persuade Lord Nigel to make any sort of submission to the Duke of Buckingham, not even the smallest one.”

“By my faith, and I hold the laddie to be in the right on't, Malcom!” answered the stout old Scots lord.—“What right hath Buckingham, or, to speak plainly, the son of Sir George Villiers, to expect homage and fealty from one more noble than himself by eight quarters? I heard him myself, on no reason that I could perceive, term Lord Nigel his enemy; and it will never be by my counsel that the lad speaks soft word to him, till he recalls the hard one.”

“Honestly, I believe the kid is right about this, Malcom!” replied the sturdy old Scottish lord. “What right does Buckingham, or to be clear, the son of Sir George Villiers, have to expect loyalty and respect from someone who is more noble than him by eight generations? I heard him myself, for no reason I could see, call Lord Nigel his enemy; and I will never advise the boy to speak kindly to him until he takes back the harsh words.”

“That is precisely my advice to Lord Glenvarloch,” answered Lord Dalgarno; “but then you will admit, my dear father, that it would be the risk of extremity for our friend to return into the presence, the duke being his enemy—better to leave it with me to take off the heat of the distemperature, with which some pickthanks have persuaded the duke to regard our friend.”

“That’s exactly my advice to Lord Glenvarloch,” replied Lord Dalgarno; “but you’ll agree, my dear father, that it would be extremely risky for our friend to go back into the duke’s presence since the duke is his enemy—it's better for me to handle the situation and cool down the anger that some sycophants have stirred up in the duke against our friend.”

“If thou canst persuade Buckingham of his error, Malcolm,” said his father, “for once I will say there hath been kindness and honesty in Court service. I have oft told your sister and yourself, that in the general I esteem it as lightly as may be.”

“If you can convince Buckingham of his mistake, Malcolm,” said his father, “for once I will say there has been kindness and honesty in court service. I have often told your sister and you that generally, I think very little of it.”

“You need not doubt my doing my best in Nigel's case,” answered Lord Dalgarno; “but you must think, my dear father, I must needs use slower and gentler means than those by which you became a favourite twenty years ago.”

“You don't have to worry about me doing my best for Nigel,” Lord Dalgarno replied. “But, dear father, you have to understand that I have to use slower and gentler methods than the ones you used to become a favorite twenty years ago.”

“By my faith, I am afraid thou wilt,” answered his father.—“I tell thee, Malcolm, I would sooner wish myself in the grave, than doubt thine honesty or honour; yet somehow it hath chanced, that honest, ready service, hath not the same acceptance at Court which it has in my younger time—and yet you rise there.”

“Honestly, I’m worried you will,” replied his father. “I swear to you, Malcolm, I would rather be dead than question your honesty or honor; yet somehow, it seems that genuine, willing service isn’t appreciated at Court like it was in my younger days—and still, you’re succeeding there.”

“O, the time permits not your old-world service,” said Lord Dalgarno; “we have now no daily insurrections, no nightly attempts at assassination, as were the fashion in the Scottish Court. Your prompt and uncourteous sword-in-hand attendance on the sovereign is no longer necessary, and would be as unbeseeming as your old-fashioned serving-men, with their badges, broadswords, and bucklers, would be at a court-mask. Besides, father, loyal haste hath its inconveniences. I have heard, and from royal lips too, that when you stuck your dagger into the traitor Ruthven, it was with such little consideration, that the point ran a quarter of an inch into the royal buttock. The king never talks of it but he rubs the injured part, and quotes his 'infandum———renovare dolorem.' But this comes of old fashions, and of wearing a long Liddesdale whinger instead of a poniard of Parma. Yet this, my dear father, you call prompt and valiant service. The king, I am told, could not sit upright for a fortnight, though all the cushions in Falkland were placed in his chair of state, and the Provost of Dunfermline's borrowed to the boot of all.”

“O, the times no longer allow for your old-world service,” said Lord Dalgarno; “we’ve got no daily rebellions, no nightly assassination attempts, like they had in the Scottish Court. Your quick and rude sword-drawn attendance on the king isn’t necessary anymore and would be as inappropriate as your old-fashioned servants, with their badges, broadswords, and shields, would be at a masquerade. Besides, father, loyal haste has its downsides. I’ve heard, even from royal sources, that when you stabbed the traitor Ruthven, you did it with such little thought that the blade went a quarter of an inch into the king's backside. He never mentions it without rubbing the sore spot and quoting his 'infandum———renovare dolorem.' But this is what happens with old ways, and with carrying a long Liddesdale knife instead of a Parma dagger. Yet this, dear father, you call prompt and brave service. I’ve been told the king couldn’t sit up straight for two weeks, even though all the cushions in Falkland were piled on his throne, plus the Provost of Dunfermline lent his cushions for good measure.”

“It is a lie,” said the old earl, “a false lie, forge it who list!—It is true I wore a dagger of service by my side, and not a bodkin like yours, to pick one's teeth withal—and for prompt service—Odds nouns! it should be prompt to be useful when kings are crying treason and murder with the screech of a half-throttled hen. But you young courtiers know nought of these matters, and are little better than the green geese they bring over from the Indies, whose only merit to their masters is to repeat their own words after them—a pack of mouthers, and flatterers, and ear-wigs.—Well, I am old and unable to mend, else I would break all off, and hear the Tay once more flinging himself over the Campsie Linn.”

“It’s a lie,” said the old earl, “a total lie, no matter who claims it!—It’s true I wore a dagger of service at my side, not a tiny one like yours, just to pick my teeth with—and when it comes to prompt service—Goodness! It should be prompt to be useful when kings are yelling treason and murder like a half-choked hen. But you young courtiers don’t know anything about these matters, and you’re hardly better than the green geese they bring over from the Indies, whose only value to their masters is repeating what they say—a bunch of talkers, and flatterers, and sycophants.—Well, I’m old and can’t change, or I’d drop all this and listen to the Tay once more rushing over the Campsie Linn.”

“But there is your dinner-bell, father,” said Lord Dalgarno, “which, if the venison I sent you prove seasonable, is at least as sweet a sound.”

“But there’s your dinner bell, Dad,” said Lord Dalgarno, “which, if the venison I sent you is cooked just right, is at least as nice a sound.”

“Follow me, then, youngsters, if you list,” said the old earl; and strode on from the alcove in which this conversation was held, towards the house, followed by the two young men.

“Come on, then, kids, if you want,” said the old earl; and walked away from the alcove where they were talking, heading toward the house, followed by the two young men.

In their private discourse, Lord Dalgarno had little trouble in dissuading Nigel from going immediately to Court; while, on the other hand, the offers he made him of a previous introduction to the Duke of Buckingham, were received by Lord Glenvarloch with a positive and contemptuous refusal. His friend shrugged his shoulders, as one who claims the merit of having given to an obstinate friend the best counsel, and desires to be held free of the consequences of his pertinacity.

In their private conversation, Lord Dalgarno had no trouble convincing Nigel not to go to Court right away; meanwhile, the offers he made of an introduction to the Duke of Buckingham were met by Lord Glenvarloch with a clear and scornful rejection. His friend shrugged his shoulders, as if to say he deserves credit for giving his stubborn friend the best advice and wants to avoid any blame for his friend's persistence.

As for the father, his table indeed, and his best liquor, of which he was more profuse than necessary, were at the command of his young friend, as well as his best advice and assistance in the prosecution of his affairs. But Lord Huntinglen's interest was more apparent than real; and the credit he had acquired by his gallant defence of the king's person, was so carelessly managed by himself, and so easily eluded by the favourites and ministers of the sovereign, that, except upon one or two occasions, when the king was in some measure taken by surprise, as in the case of Lord Glenvarloch, the royal bounty was never efficiently extended either to himself or to his friends.

As for the father, his table and his best drinks, which he indulged in more than necessary, were at the service of his young friend, along with his best advice and help in managing his affairs. However, Lord Huntinglen's support was more show than substance; the reputation he had gained from his brave defense of the king was mishandled by himself and easily sidestepped by the king's favorites and ministers. As a result, except for one or two instances when the king was somewhat caught off guard, like in the case of Lord Glenvarloch, the king's generosity was rarely effectively extended to him or his friends.

“There never was a man,” said Lord Dalgarno, whose shrewder knowledge of the English Court saw where his father's deficiency lay, “that had it so perfectly in his power to have made his way to the pinnacle of fortune as my poor father. He had acquired a right to build up a staircase, step by step, slowly and surely, letting every boon, which he begged year after year, become in its turn the resting-place for the next annual grant. But your fortunes shall not shipwreck upon the same coast, Nigel,” he would conclude. “If I have fewer means of influence than my father has, or rather had, till he threw them away for butts of sack, hawks, hounds, and such carrion, I can, far better than he, improve that which I possess; and that, my dear Nigel, is all engaged in your behalf. Do not be surprised or offended that you now see me less than formerly. The stag-hunting is commenced, and the prince looks that I should attend him more frequently. I must also maintain my attendance on the duke, that I may have an opportunity of pleading your cause when occasion shall permit.”

“There’s never been a man,” said Lord Dalgarno, who understood the English Court better than most, “who had such a perfect chance to climb to the top of fortune as my poor father. He had every opportunity to build a staircase, step by step, slowly and surely, making each favor he asked for year after year the foundation for the next annual grant. But your fortunes won’t crash on the same shores, Nigel,” he would finish. “If I have fewer ways to influence than my father did, or rather had, until he squandered them on wine, hawks, hounds, and other junk, I can improve what I have far better than he could; and that, my dear Nigel, is all devoted to your benefit. Don’t be surprised or upset that you see me less than before. The stag-hunting season has started, and the prince expects me to be around more often. I also need to keep my position with the duke so I can advocate for you when the chance arises.”

“I have no cause to plead before the duke,” said Nigel, gravely; “I have said so repeatedly.”

“I have no reason to speak to the duke,” Nigel said solemnly; “I’ve said that multiple times.”

“Why, I meant the phrase no otherwise, thou churlish and suspicious disputant,” answered Dalgarno, “than as I am now pleading the duke's cause with thee. Surely I only mean to claim a share in our royal master's favourite benediction, Beati Pacifici.”

“Why, I meant the phrase no differently, you rude and distrustful debater,” answered Dalgarno, “than as I'm currently advocating for the duke's cause with you. Surely I just intend to share in our royal master's favorite blessing, Beati Pacifici.”

Upon several occasions, Lord Glenvarloch's conversations, both with the old earl and his son, took a similar turn and had a like conclusion. He sometimes felt as if, betwixt the one and the other, not to mention the more unseen and unboasted, but scarce less certain influence of Lady Blackchester, his affair, simple as it had become, might have been somehow accelerated. But it was equally impossible to doubt the rough honesty of the father, and the eager and officious friendship of Lord Dalgarno; nor was it easy to suppose that the countenance of the lady, by whom he was received with such distinction, would be wanting, could it be effectual in his service.

On several occasions, Lord Glenvarloch's conversations with both the old earl and his son took a similar direction and ended in the same way. He sometimes felt that, between the two of them, and not to mention the less obvious but still significant influence of Lady Blackchester, his situation, as straightforward as it had become, might have been somehow sped up. However, it was just as impossible to deny the father’s straightforward honesty and the enthusiastic and helpful friendship of Lord Dalgarno; nor was it easy to believe that the support of the lady, who welcomed him so graciously, would be absent, if it could truly benefit him.

Nigel was further sensible of the truth of what Lord Dalgarno often pointed out, that the favourite being supposed to be his enemy, every petty officer, through whose hands his affair must necessarily pass, would desire to make a merit of throwing obstacles in his way, which he could only surmount by steadiness and patience, unless he preferred closing the breach, or, as Lord Dalgarno called it, making his peace with the Duke of Buckingham.

Nigel was increasingly aware of the truth in what Lord Dalgarno often said: since the favorite was thought to be his enemy, every minor official involved in his situation would want to prove themselves by introducing obstacles. He could only overcome these challenges with determination and patience, unless he chose to mend fences, or as Lord Dalgarno put it, make peace with the Duke of Buckingham.

Nigel might, and doubtless would, have had recourse to the advice of his friend George Heriot upon this occasion, having found it so advantageous formerly; but the only time he saw him after their visit to Court, he found the worthy citizen engaged in hasty preparations for a journey to Paris, upon business of great importance in the way of his profession, and by an especial commission from the Court and the Duke of Buckingham, which was likely to be attended with considerable profit. The good man smiled as he named the Duke of Buckingham. He had been, he said, pretty sure that his disgrace in that quarter would not be of long duration. Lord Glenvarloch expressed himself rejoiced at that reconciliation, observing, that it had been a most painful reflection to him, that Master Heriot should, in his behalf, have incurred the dislike, and perhaps exposed himself to the ill offices, of so powerful a favourite.

Nigel would have definitely sought the advice of his friend George Heriot this time, as it had been so helpful in the past. However, the last time he saw George after their visit to the Court, he found him busy getting ready for a trip to Paris for important work tied to his profession. He was on a special mission from the Court and the Duke of Buckingham, which was likely to bring him significant profit. The kind man smiled when he mentioned the Duke of Buckingham, saying he was pretty sure his fall from favor wouldn’t last long. Lord Glenvarloch expressed his happiness about that reconciliation, noting that it had been a painful thought for him that Master Heriot had faced dislike, and possibly put himself at risk, because of such a powerful favorite.

“My lord,” said Heriot, “for your father's son I would do much; and yet truly, if I know myself, I would do as much and risk as much, for the sake of justice, in the case of a much more insignificant person, as I have ventured for yours. But as we shall not meet for some time, I must commit to your own wisdom the farther prosecution of this matter.”

“My lord,” said Heriot, “for your father's son I would do a lot; and honestly, if I know myself, I would do just as much and take as many risks for the sake of justice, even for someone much less significant, as I have for you. However, since we won’t meet for a while, I have to leave the further pursuit of this matter to your own judgment.”

And thus they took a kind and affectionate leave of each other.

And so they said their goodbyes to each other in a warm and caring way.

There were other changes in Lord Glenvarloch's situation, which require to be noticed. His present occupations, and the habits of amusement which he had acquired, rendered his living so far in the city a considerable inconvenience. He may also have become a little ashamed of his cabin on Paul's Wharf, and desirous of being lodged somewhat more according to his quality. For this purpose, he had hired a small apartment near the Temple. He was, nevertheless, almost sorry for what he had done, when he observed that his removal appeared to give some pain to John Christie, and a great deal to his cordial and officious landlady. The former, who was grave and saturnine in every thing he did, only hoped that all had been to Lord Glenvarloch's mind, and that he had not left them on account of any unbeseeming negligence on their part. But the tear twinkled in Dame Nelly's eye, while she recounted the various improvements she had made in the apartment, of express purpose to render it more convenient to his lordship.

There were other changes in Lord Glenvarloch's situation that needed to be addressed. His current activities and the leisure habits he had developed made living in the city quite inconvenient. He might also have felt a bit embarrassed about his cabin on Paul's Wharf and wanted a place that suited his status better. To that end, he had rented a small apartment near the Temple. However, he almost regretted his decision when he noticed that his move seemed to upset John Christie and deeply affected his warm and eager landlady. John, who was serious and stern in everything he did, only hoped that Lord Glenvarloch had been happy with everything and hadn’t left due to any thoughtless negligence on their part. Meanwhile, a tear glistened in Dame Nelly's eye as she recalled the various improvements she had made to the apartment specifically to make it more comfortable for him.

“There was a great sea-chest,” she said, “had been taken upstairs to the shopman's garret, though it left the poor lad scarce eighteen inches of opening to creep betwixt it and his bed; and Heaven knew—she did not—whether it could ever be brought down that narrow stair again. Then the turning the closet into an alcove had cost a matter of twenty round shillings; and to be sure, to any other lodger but his lordship, the closet was more convenient. There was all the linen, too, which she had bought on purpose—But Heaven's will be done—she was resigned.”

“There was a huge sea chest,” she said, “that had been taken upstairs to the shopkeeper's attic, but it left the poor guy with barely eighteen inches of space to squeeze between it and his bed; and God only knew—she didn’t—if it could ever be brought down that narrow staircase again. Then turning the closet into a nook had cost about twenty shillings; and honestly, for any other tenant besides his lordship, the closet was more practical. There was all the linen too, which she had bought on purpose—But God's will be done—she had accepted it.”

Everybody likes marks of personal attachment; and Nigel, whose heart really smote him, as if in his rising fortunes he were disdaining the lowly accommodations and the civilities of the humble friends which had been but lately actual favours, failed not by every assurance in his power, and by as liberal payment as they could be prevailed upon to accept, to alleviate the soreness of their feelings at his departure; and a parting kiss from the fair lips of his hostess sealed his forgiveness.

Everybody appreciates signs of personal connection; and Nigel, who genuinely felt guilty, as if he were turning his back on the modest comforts and the kindness of the humble friends who had recently been so supportive, made every effort he could to ease their hurt feelings at his departure with reassurances and as generous a payment as they could be convinced to accept. A goodbye kiss from the lovely lips of his hostess sealed his apology.

Richie Moniplies lingered behind his master, to ask whether, in case of need, John Christie could help a canny Scotsman to a passage back to his own country; and receiving assurance of John's interest to that effect, he said at parting, he would remind him of his promise soon.—“For,” said he, “if my lord is not weary of this London life, I ken one that is, videlicet, mysell; and I am weel determined to see Arthur's Seat again ere I am many weeks older.”

Richie Moniplies hung back behind his master to ask if, when needed, John Christie could help a clever Scotsman find a way back to his own country. After receiving confirmation that John was interested in that, he said as they parted, he would remind him of his promise soon. “Because,” he added, “if my lord isn't tired of this London life, I definitely am, and I'm determined to see Arthur's Seat again before too many weeks pass.”










CHAPTER XIV

  Bingo, why, Bingo! hey, boy—here, sir, here!—
  He's gone and off, but he'll be home before us;—
  'Tis the most wayward cur e'er mumbled bone,
  Or dogg'd a master's footstep.—Bingo loves me
  Better than ever beggar loved his alms;
  Yet, when he takes such humour, you may coax
  Sweet Mistress Fantasy, your worship's mistress,
  Out of her sullen moods, as soon as Bingo.
                       The Dominie And His Dog.
Bingo, oh, Bingo! Hey, boy—come here, boy! 
He's off and running, but he'll be back before us; 
He's the most unpredictable dog that ever chased a bone, 
Or followed a master's footsteps. Bingo loves me 
More than any beggar ever loved his handouts; 
Yet, when he's in that mood, you could charm 
Sweet Mistress Fantasy, your worship’s lady, 
Out of her bad moods just as easily as Bingo. 
The Dominie And His Dog.

Richie Moniplies was as good as his word. Two or three mornings after the young lord had possessed himself of his new lodgings, he appeared before Nigel, as he was preparing to dress, having left his pillow at an hour much later than had formerly been his custom.

Richie Moniplies kept his promise. Two or three mornings after the young lord had settled into his new place, he showed up in front of Nigel while he was getting ready, having stayed in bed much later than he usually did.

As Nigel looked upon his attendant, he observed there was a gathering gloom upon his solemn features, which expressed either additional importance, or superadded discontent, or a portion of both.

As Nigel looked at his attendant, he noticed a growing darkness on his serious face, which showed either more significance, added discontent, or a bit of both.

“How now,” he said, “what is the matter this morning, Richie, that you have made your face so like the grotesque mask on one of the spouts yonder?” pointing to the Temple Church, of which Gothic building they had a view from the window.

“What's going on this morning, Richie, that you've made your face look like the creepy mask on one of those spouts over there?” he said, pointing to the Temple Church, the Gothic building they could see from the window.

Richie swivelled his head a little to the right with as little alacrity as if he had the crick in his neck, and instantly resuming his posture, replied,—“Mask here, mask there—it were nae such matters that I have to speak anent.”

Richie turned his head slightly to the right, moving as if he had a stiff neck, and quickly straightened up again. He replied, "Masks here, masks there—those aren't the things I need to talk about."

“And what matters have you to speak anent, then?” said his master, whom circumstances had inured to tolerate a good deal of freedom from his attendant.

“And what do you need to talk about, then?” said his master, who had become accustomed to putting up with a fair amount of freedom from his attendant.

“My lord,”—said Richie, and then stopped to cough and hem, as if what he had to say stuck somewhat in his throat.

“My lord,” Richie said, then paused to cough and clear his throat, as if the words he needed to say were caught in his throat.

“I guess the mystery,” said Nigel, “you want a little money, Richie; will five pieces serve the present turn?”

“I guess the mystery,” said Nigel, “you want some cash, Richie; will five bucks do for now?”

“My lord,” said Richie, “I may, it is like, want a trifle of money; and I am glad at the same time, and sorry, that it is mair plenty with your lordship than formerly.”

“My lord,” said Richie, “I might, it seems, need a little bit of money; and I’m glad and also sorry that you have more of it than before.”

“Glad and sorry, man!” said Lord Nigel, “why, you are reading riddles to me, Richie.”

“Glad and sorry, man!” said Lord Nigel, “Wow, you’re giving me puzzles to solve, Richie.”

“My riddle will be briefly read,” said Richie; “I come to crave of your lordship your commands for Scotland.”

“My riddle will be read quickly,” said Richie; “I come to ask for your orders for Scotland.”

“For Scotland!—why, art thou mad, man?” said Nigel; “canst thou not tarry to go down with me?”

“For Scotland!—are you crazy, man?” said Nigel; “can’t you wait to go down with me?”

“I could be of little service,” said Richie, “since you purpose to hire another page and groom.”

“I can't be of much help,” said Richie, “since you plan to hire another page and groom.”

“Why, thou jealous ass,” said the young lord, “will not thy load of duty lie the lighter?—Go, take thy breakfast, and drink thy ale double strong, to put such absurdities out of thy head—I could be angry with thee for thy folly, man—but I remember how thou hast stuck to me in adversity.”

“Why, you jealous fool,” said the young lord, “won't your burden of duty feel any lighter?—Go, have your breakfast, and drink your ale double strong to get those silly thoughts out of your head—I could be mad at you for your foolishness, man—but I remember how you’ve always stood by me in tough times.”

“Adversity, my lord, should never have parted us,” said Richie; “methinks, had the warst come to warst, I could have starved as gallantly as your lordship, or more so, being in some sort used to it; for, though I was bred at a flasher's stall, I have not through my life had a constant intimacy with collops.”

“Adversity, my lord, should never have separated us,” said Richie; “I think if it had come to the worst, I could have starved just as nobly as your lordship, or even more so, since I’m somewhat used to it; for, although I was raised in a flashy environment, I have not had a regular acquaintance with scraps.”

“Now, what is the meaning of all this trash?” said Nigel; “or has it no other end than to provoke my patience? You know well enough, that, had I twenty serving-men, I would hold the faithful follower that stood by me in my distress the most valued of them all. But it is totally out of reason to plague me with your solemn capriccios.”

“Now, what’s the point of all this nonsense?” said Nigel. “Or does it exist just to test my patience? You know very well that if I had twenty servants, I would consider the loyal one who stayed by me in my time of need the most valuable of them all. But it’s completely unreasonable to bother me with your serious whims.”

“My lord,” said Richie, “in declaring your trust in me, you have done what is honourable to yourself, if I may with humility say so much, and in no way undeserved on my side. Nevertheless, we must part.”

"My lord," said Richie, "by trusting me, you've done something honorable for yourself, if I may humbly say so, and I assure you I don't take it for granted. Still, we have to part ways."

“Body of me, man, why?” said Lord Nigel; “what reason can there be for it, if we are mutually satisfied?”

“Why, my man, body of me, why?” said Lord Nigel; “what reason could there be for it, if we’re both satisfied?”

“My lord,” said Richie Moniplies, “your lordship's occupations are such as I cannot own or countenance by my presence.”

“My lord,” said Richie Moniplies, “the things you're involved in are such that I can't endorse or support by being here.”

“How now, sirrah!” said his master, angrily.

“How now, dude!” said his master, angrily.

“Under favour, my lord,” replied his domestic, “it is unequal dealing to be equally offended by my speech and by my silence. If you can hear with patience the grounds of my departure, it may be, for aught I know, the better for you here and hereafter—if not, let me have my license of departure in silence, and so no more about it.”

“Please, my lord,” replied his servant, “it’s unfair to be equally upset by what I say and by what I don’t say. If you can listen patiently to my reasons for leaving, it might be better for you now and in the future—if not, just let me leave in peace, and we won’t need to discuss it any further.”

“Go to, sir!” said Nigel; “speak out your mind—only remember to whom you speak it.”

“Come on, sir!” said Nigel; “speak your mind—just remember who you’re talking to.”

“Weel, weel, my lord—I speak it with humility;” (never did Richie look with more starched dignity than when he uttered the word;) “but do you think this dicing and card-shuffling, and haunting of taverns and playhouses, suits your lordship—for I am sure it does not suit me?”

“Well, well, my lord—I say this with humility;” (Richie never looked more stiffly dignified than when he said that;) “but do you really think this gambling and card-playing, and hanging out in bars and theaters, is fitting for your lordship—because I'm sure it's not fitting for me?”

“Why, you are not turned precisian or puritan, fool?” said Lord Glenvarloch, laughing, though, betwixt resentment and shame, it cost him some trouble to do so.

“Why, you haven't become all uptight or overly serious, have you?” said Lord Glenvarloch, laughing, though between feeling upset and embarrassed, it took him some effort to do so.

“My lord,” replied the follower, “I ken the purport of your query. I am, it may be, a little of a precisian, and I wish to Heaven I was mair worthy of the name; but let that be a pass-over.—I have stretched the duties of a serving-man as far as my northern conscience will permit. I can give my gude word to my master, or to my native country, when I am in a foreign land, even though I should leave downright truth a wee bit behind me. Ay, and I will take or give a slash with ony man that speaks to the derogation of either. But this chambering, dicing, and play-haunting, is not my element—I cannot draw breath in it—and when I hear of your lordship winning the siller that some poor creature may full sairly miss—by my saul, if it wad serve your necessity, rather than you gained it from him, I wad take a jump over the hedge with your lordship, and cry 'Stand!' to the first grazier we met that was coming from Smithfield with the price of his Essex calves in his leathern pouch!”

“My lord,” replied the follower, “I understand what you're asking. I might be a bit of a stickler, and I wish I was more worthy of the title; but let's put that aside. I've stretched the responsibilities of a servant as far as my northern conscience allows. I can assure my master or my homeland when I’m in a foreign place, even if it means leaving the whole truth behind a little. Yes, and I’ll stand up to anyone who speaks ill of either. But this gambling, card-playing, and partying isn’t my scene—I can’t breathe in it—and when I hear that your lordship has gained money that some poor soul will sorely miss—by my soul, if it would help your situation, rather than you gaining it from him, I would jump over the hedge with your lordship, and shout 'Stop!' to the first farmer we met coming from Smithfield with the money for his Essex calves in his leather pouch!”

“You are a simpleton,” said Nigel, who felt, however, much conscience-struck; “I never play but for small sums.”

“You're such a fool,” said Nigel, who felt pretty guilty about it; “I only play for small amounts.”

“Ay, my lord,” replied the unyielding domestic, “and—still with reverence—it is even sae much the waur. If you played with your equals, there might be like sin, but there wad be mair warldly honour in it. Your lordship kens, or may ken, by experience of your ain, whilk is not as yet mony weeks auld, that small sums can ill be missed by those that have nane larger; and I maun e'en be plain with you, that men notice it of your lordship, that ye play wi' nane but the misguided creatures that can but afford to lose bare stakes.”

“Yeah, my lord,” replied the steadfast servant, “and—still with respect—it’s even worse. If you played with your equals, there might be some fault, but there would be more worldly honor in it. Your lordship knows, or may know from your own experience, which isn’t even many weeks old, that small amounts can hardly be missed by those who don’t have larger sums; and I must be frank with you, that people notice about your lordship that you only play with those misguided souls who can barely afford to lose the minimum.”

“No man dare say so!” replied Nigel, very angrily. “I play with whom I please, but I will only play for what stake I please.”

“No one has the right to say that!” Nigel responded, very angrily. “I’ll play with whoever I want, but I’ll only play for stakes that I choose.”

“That is just what they say, my lord,” said the unmerciful Richie, whose natural love of lecturing, as well as his bluntness of feeling, prevented him from having any idea of the pain which he was inflicting on his master; “these are even their own very words. It was but yesterday your lordship was pleased, at that same ordinary, to win from yonder young hafflins gentleman, with the crimson velvet doublet, and the cock's feather in his beaver—him, I mean, who fought with the ranting captain—a matter of five pounds, or thereby. I saw him come through the hall; and, if he was not cleaned out of cross and pile, I never saw a ruined man in my life.”

"That’s exactly what they’re saying, my lord,” said the heartless Richie, whose natural tendency to lecture and lack of sensitivity made him unaware of the pain he was causing his master; “those are even their exact words. Just yesterday, your lordship, at that same gathering, you managed to win five pounds or so from that young half-wit gentleman in the crimson velvet jacket with the cock's feather in his hat—the one who fought with the loud captain. I saw him walk through the hall, and if he wasn’t completely broke, I’ve never seen a man more ruined in my life.”

“Impossible!” said Lord Glenvarloch—“Why, who is he? he looked like a man of substance.”

“Impossible!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Who is he? He seemed like a person of means.”

“All is not gold that glistens, my lord,” replied Richie; “'broidery and bullion buttons make bare pouches. And if you ask who he is—maybe I have a guess, and care not to tell.”

“All that glitters isn’t gold, my lord,” replied Richie; “‘Embroidered fabric and shiny buttons can’t fill empty pockets. And if you ask who he is—maybe I have a guess, and I don’t want to say.”

“At least, if I have done any such fellow an injury,” said the Lord Nigel, “let me know how I can repair it.”

“At least, if I’ve hurt anyone,” said Lord Nigel, “please tell me how I can make it right.”

“Never fash your beard about that, my lord,—with reverence always,” said Richie,—“he shall be suitably cared after. Think on him but as ane wha was running post to the devil, and got a shouldering from your lordship to help him on his journey. But I will stop him, if reason can; and so your lordship needs asks nae mair about it, for there is no use in your knowing it, but much the contrair.”

“Don’t worry about that, my lord—with all due respect,” said Richie, “he will be taken care of properly. Think of him as someone who was rushing to the devil and got a push from your lordship to help him on his way. But I will stop him, if I can reason with him; so you don’t need to ask any more about it, because it’s pointless for you to know, and quite the opposite.”

“Hark you, sirrah,” said his master, “I have borne with you thus far, for certain reasons; but abuse my good-nature no farther—and since you must needs go, why, go a God's name, and here is to pay your journey.” So saying, he put gold into his hand, which Richie told over piece by piece, with the utmost accuracy.

“Listen here, you,” said his master, “I’ve put up with you so far for certain reasons; but don’t push my kindness any further—and since you have to leave, well, go on, and here’s some money for your trip.” With that, he handed gold to him, which Richie counted out piece by piece, with the utmost care.

“Is it all right—or are they wanting in weight—or what the devil keeps you, when your hurry was so great five minutes since?” said the young lord, now thoroughly nettled at the presumptuous precision with which Richie dealt forth his canons of morality.

“Is it okay—or are they lacking importance—or what the hell is holding you up when you were in such a rush just five minutes ago?” said the young lord, now completely annoyed by the cocky way Richie laid down his moral principles.

“The tale of coin is complete,” said Richie, with the most imperturbable gravity; “and, for the weight, though they are sae scrupulous in this town, as make mouths at a piece that is a wee bit light, or that has been cracked within the ring, my sooth, they will jump at them in Edinburgh like a cock at a grosart. Gold pieces are not so plenty there, the mair the pity!”

“The story of the coin is finished,” said Richie, with the utmost seriousness; “and, while they’re so particular in this town to scoff at a piece that’s a little light or that has a crack around the edge, honestly, they’ll snatch them up in Edinburgh like a rooster at a grub. Gold pieces aren’t so common there, which is a shame!”

“The more is your folly, then,” said Nigel, whose anger was only momentary, “that leave the land where there is enough of them.”

“The more foolish you are, then,” said Nigel, whose anger was only temporary, “to leave the place where there are plenty of them.”

“My lord,” said Richie, “to be round with you, the grace of God is better than gold pieces. When Goblin, as you call yonder Monsieur Lutin,—and you might as well call him Gibbet, since that is what he is like to end in,—shall recommend a page to you, ye will hear little such doctrine as ye have heard from me.—And if they were my last words,” he said, raising his voice, “I would say you are misled, and are forsaking the paths which your honourable father trode in; and, what is more, you are going—still under correction—to the devil with a dishclout, for ye are laughed at by them that lead you into these disordered bypaths.”

“My lord,” said Richie, “to be honest with you, the grace of God is better than gold. When Goblin, as you call him, or Monsieur Lutin—though you might as well call him Gibbet, since that's how he'll likely end up—recommends a page to you, you won’t hear much of the wisdom I've shared. And if these were my last words,” he said, raising his voice, “I would tell you that you're being misled and turning away from the paths your honorable father walked. What’s more, you’re heading—still, I stand corrected—toward disaster, because those who lead you into these chaotic paths are laughing at you.”

“Laughed at!” said Nigel, who, like others of his age, was more sensible to ridicule than to reason—“Who dares laugh at me?”

“Laughed at!” said Nigel, who, like others his age, was more sensitive to mockery than to logic—“Who dares to laugh at me?”

“My lord, as sure as I live by bread—nay, more, as I am a true man—and, I think, your lordship never found Richie's tongue bearing aught but the truth—unless that your lordship's credit, my country's profit, or, it may be, some sma' occasion of my ain, made it unnecessary to promulgate the haill veritie,—I say then, as I am a true man, when I saw that puir creature come through the ha', at that ordinary, whilk is accurst (Heaven forgive me for swearing!) of God and man, with his teeth set, and his hands clenched, and his bonnet drawn over his brows like a desperate man, Goblin said to me, 'There goes a dunghill chicken, that your master has plucked clean enough; it will be long ere his lordship ruffle a feather with a cock of the game.' And so, my lord, to speak it out, the lackeys, and the gallants, and more especially your sworn brother, Lord Dalgarno, call you the sparrow-hawk.—I had some thought to have cracked Lutin's pate for the speech, but, after a', the controversy was not worth it.”

“My lord, as sure as I live by bread—no, even more, as I am a true man—and I believe your lordship has never heard Richie say anything but the truth—unless it was to protect your reputation, my country’s interests, or perhaps some minor benefit of my own, which made it unnecessary to reveal the whole truth—I declare, as a true man, when I saw that poor creature come through the hall at that wretched place, which is cursed (Heaven forgive me for cursing!) by God and man, with his teeth set, hands clenched, and his hat pulled down over his brow like a desperate man, Goblin said to me, 'There goes a worthless creature that your master has stripped bare; it will be a long time before his lordship stirs up any feathers with a real rooster.' So, my lord, to be blunt, the servants, the fancy gentlemen, and especially your sworn brother, Lord Dalgarno, refer to you as the sparrow-hawk.—I thought about cracking Lutin's head for that remark, but in the end, it wasn’t worth it.”

“Do they use such terms of me?” said Lord Nigel. “Death and the devil!”

“Do they really call me that?” said Lord Nigel. “Death and the devil!”

“And the devil's dam, my lord,” answered Richie; “they are all three busy in London.—And, besides, Lutin and his master laughed at you, my lord, for letting it be thought that—I shame to speak it—that ye were over well with the wife of the decent honest man whose house you but now left, as not sufficient for your new bravery, whereas they said, the licentious scoffers, that you pretended to such favour when you had not courage enough for so fair a quarrel, and that the sparrow-hawk was too craven-crested to fly at the wife of a cheesemonger.”—He stopped a moment, and looked fixedly in his master's face, which was inflamed with shame and anger, and then proceeded. “My lord, I did you justice in my thought, and myself too; for, thought I, he would have been as deep in that sort of profligacy as in others, if it hadna been Richie's four quarters.”

“And the devil's dam, my lord,” Richie responded, “they're all three busy in London. And besides, Lutin and his master laughed at you, my lord, for letting people think that—I’m ashamed to say—that you were getting too cozy with the wife of the decent honest man whose house you just left, as if that wasn’t enough for your new bravado. Those shameless mockers said you were pretending to that kind of attention when you didn’t have the guts for such a noble fight, and that the sparrow-hawk was too cowardly to go after the wife of a cheesemonger.” He paused for a moment, staring intently at his master's face, which was flushed with shame and anger, and then continued. “My lord, I was right about you, and about myself too; because I thought, you would have been just as deep into that kind of debauchery as into others, if it weren't for Richie's four quarters.”

“What new nonsense have you got to plague me with?” said Lord Nigel. “But go on, since it is the last time I am to be tormented with your impertinence,—go on, and make the most of your time.”

“What ridiculous nonsense do you have to bother me with this time?” said Lord Nigel. “But go ahead, since it’s the last time I’ll have to endure your rudeness—go on, and make the best of your time.”

“In troth,” said Richie, “and so will I even do. And as Heaven has bestowed on me a tongue to speak and to advise——”

"In truth," said Richie, "and I will do the same. And since Heaven has given me a voice to speak and to offer advice——"

“Which talent you can by no means be accused of suffering to remain idle,” said Lord Glenvarloch, interrupting him.

“There's no way anyone could say you let your talent go to waste,” said Lord Glenvarloch, cutting him off.

“True, my lord,” said Richie, again waving his hand, as if to bespeak his master's silence and attention; “so, I trust, you will think some time hereafter. And, as I am about to leave your service, it is proper that ye suld know the truth, that ye may consider the snares to which your youth and innocence may be exposed, when aulder and doucer heads are withdrawn from beside you.—There has been a lusty, good-looking kimmer, of some forty, or bygane, making mony speerings about you, my lord.”

“True, my lord,” Richie said, waving his hand again, as if asking his master to be quiet and pay attention. “I hope you’ll think about this in the future. And since I’m about to leave your service, it’s important that you know the truth so you can be aware of the traps your youth and innocence might face when older, wiser heads are no longer around you. There’s been a strong, good-looking guy, around forty or so, making a lot of inquiries about you, my lord.”

“Well, sir, what did she want with me?” said Lord Nigel.

“Well, sir, what did she want with me?” Lord Nigel asked.

“At first, my lord,” replied his sapient follower, “as she seemed to be a well-fashioned woman, and to take pleasure in sensible company, I was no way reluctant to admit her to my conversation.”

“At first, my lord,” replied his wise follower, “since she appeared to be a well-made woman and enjoyed intelligent company, I was more than willing to include her in my conversation.”

“I dare say not,” said Lord Nigel; “nor unwilling to tell her about my private affairs.”

“I don’t think so,” said Lord Nigel; “nor am I hesitant to share my personal matters with her.”

“Not I, truly, my lord,” said the attendant;—“for, though she asked me mony questions about your fame, your fortune, your business here, and such like, I did not think it proper to tell her altogether the truth thereanent.”

“Not me, really, my lord,” said the attendant;—“for, even though she asked me a lot of questions about your reputation, your success, your purpose here, and things like that, I didn’t think it was right to tell her the whole truth about it.”

“I see no call on you whatever,” said Lord Nigel, “to tell the woman either truth or lies upon what she had nothing to do with.”

“I see no reason for you at all,” said Lord Nigel, “to tell the woman either the truth or lies about something she had nothing to do with.”

“I thought so, too, my lord,” replied Richie, “and so I told her neither.”

“I thought so too, my lord,” Richie replied, “and I told her neither.”

“And what did you tell her, then, you eternal babbler?” said his master, impatient of his prate, yet curious to know what it was all to end in.

“And what did you tell her, then, you never-ending chatterbox?” said his master, annoyed by his rambling, yet eager to know how it would all turn out.

“I told her,” said Richie, “about your warldly fortune, and sae forth, something whilk is not truth just at this time; but which hath been truth formerly, suld be truth now, and will be truth again,—and that was, that you were in possession of your fair lands, whilk ye are but in right of as yet. Pleasant communing we had on that and other topics, until she showed the cloven foot, beginning to confer with me about some wench that she said had a good-will to your lordship, and fain she would have spoken with you in particular anent it; but when I heard of such inklings, I began to suspect she was little better than—whew! “—Here he concluded his narrative with a low, but very expressive whistle.

“I told her,” said Richie, “about your worldly fortune and so on, which isn’t exactly true at the moment; but it used to be true, should be true now, and will be true again. That was that you owned your beautiful lands, which you only have a claim to for now. We had a nice chat about that and other topics until she showed her true colors, starting to talk to me about some girl who she said had a crush on you and really wanted to speak with you about it specifically. But when I heard that, I started to suspect she was nothing better than—whew!”—Here he wrapped up his story with a low but very telling whistle.

“And what did your wisdom do in these circumstances?” said Lord Nigel, who, notwithstanding his former resentment, could now scarcely forbear laughing.

“And what did your wisdom do in this situation?” said Lord Nigel, who, despite his earlier anger, could barely hold back his laughter.

“I put on a look, my lord,” replied Richie, bending his solemn brows, “that suld give her a heartscald of walking on such errands. I laid her enormities clearly before her, and I threatened her, in sae mony words, that I would have her to the ducking-stool; and she, on the contrair part, miscawed me for a forward northern tyke—and so we parted never to meet again, as I hope and trust. And so I stood between your lordship and that temptation, which might have been worse than the ordinary, or the playhouse either; since you wot well what Solomon, King of the Jews, sayeth of the strange woman—for, said I to mysell, we have taken to dicing already, and if we take to drabbing next, the Lord kens what we may land in!”

“I put on a serious look, my lord,” replied Richie, furrowing his brows, “that should make her think twice about running such errands. I laid her wrongdoings out clearly for her, and I warned her, in so many words, that I would send her to the ducking stool; and she, on the other hand, insulted me by calling me a forward northern mutt—and so we parted, never to meet again, as I hope and trust. And so I stood between you and that temptation, which could have been worse than usual, or even worse than the theater; since you know well what Solomon, King of the Jews, says about the strange woman—for I said to myself, we’ve already started gambling, and if we start with whoring next, who knows where we might end up!”

“Your impertinence deserves correction, but it is the last which, for a time at least, I shall have to forgive—and I forgive it,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “and, since we are to part, Richie, I will say no more respecting your precautions on my account, than that I think you might have left me to act according to my own judgment.”

“Your disrespect needs to be addressed, but for now, at least, I'll let it go—and I do forgive you,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “and since we're about to part ways, Richie, I won’t say anything more about your concerns for my safety, other than I believe you could have allowed me to make my own decisions.”

“Mickle better not,” answered Richie—“mickle better not; we are a' frail creatures, and can judge better for ilk ither than in our ain cases. And for me, even myself, saving that case of the Sifflication, which might have happened to ony one, I have always observed myself to be much more prudential in what I have done in your lordship's behalf, than even in what I have been able to transact for my own interest—whilk last, I have, indeed, always postponed, as in duty I ought.”

“Mickle better not,” replied Richie. “Mickle better not; we are all weak creatures and can judge each other better than we can judge ourselves. And for me, even I, except for that incident of the Suffocation, which could have happened to anyone, I’ve always found that I act much more prudently in what I’ve done for your lordship than in what I’ve managed for my own benefit— which, to be honest, I’ve always put off, as I should.”

“I do believe thou hast,” said Lord Nigel, “having ever found thee true and faithful. And since London pleases you so little, I will bid you a short farewell; and you may go down to Edinburgh until I come thither myself, when I trust you will re-enter into my service.”

“I really believe you have,” said Lord Nigel, “having always found you to be true and loyal. And since London doesn’t please you much, I’ll say a quick goodbye; you can head down to Edinburgh until I get there myself, when I hope you’ll rejoin my service.”

“Now, Heaven bless you, my lord,” said Richie Moniplies, with uplifted eyes; “for that word sounds more like grace than ony has come out of your mouth this fortnight.—I give you godd'en, my lord.”

“Now, may heaven bless you, my lord,” said Richie Moniplies, looking up with hopeful eyes; “because that word sounds more like grace than anything that has come out of your mouth in the past two weeks.—I wish you goodnight, my lord.”

So saying, he thrust forth his immense bony hand, seized on that of Lord Glenvarloch, raised it to his lips, then turned short on his heel, and left the room hastily, as if afraid of showing more emotion than was consistent with his ideas of decorum. Lord Nigel, rather surprised at his sudden exit, called after him to know whether he was sufficiently provided with money; but Richie, shaking his head, without making any other answer, ran hastily down stairs, shut the street-door heavily behind him, and was presently seen striding along the Strand.

So saying, he extended his large, bony hand, grabbed Lord Glenvarloch's hand, brought it to his lips, then abruptly turned on his heel and quickly left the room, as if worried about revealing more emotion than his sense of propriety allowed. Lord Nigel, a bit surprised by his sudden departure, called after him to check if he had enough money; but Richie, shaking his head and not offering any other response, hurried down the stairs, closed the street door loudly behind him, and was soon seen striding along the Strand.

His master almost involuntarily watched and distinguished the tall raw-boned figure of his late follower, from the window, for some time, until he was lost among the crowd of passengers. Nigel's reflections were not altogether those of self-approval. It was no good sign of his course of life, (he could not help acknowledging this much to himself,) that so faithful an adherent no longer seemed to feel the same pride in his service, or attachment to his person, which he had formerly manifested. Neither could he avoid experiencing some twinges of conscience, while he felt in some degree the charges which Richie had preferred against him, and experienced a sense of shame and mortification, arising from the colour given by others to that, which he himself would have called his caution and moderation in play. He had only the apology, that it had never occurred to himself in this light.

His master almost unconsciously watched and recognized the tall, skinny figure of his former follower from the window for a while until he disappeared into the crowd of passengers. Nigel's thoughts weren't entirely positive about himself. He couldn’t ignore that it wasn’t a good sign for his life that such a loyal supporter no longer seemed to take the same pride in serving him or feel the same attachment to him that he once did. He couldn’t help but feel some pangs of guilt as he recognized some truth in the complaints Richie had made against him, along with a sense of shame and embarrassment from how others perceived what he would have called his caution and moderation in gambling. He only had the excuse that he had never seen it this way before.

Then his pride and self-love suggested, that, on the other hand, Richie, with all his good intentions, was little better than a conceited, pragmatical domestic, who seemed disposed rather to play the tutor than the lackey, and who, out of sheer love, as he alleged, to his master's person, assumed the privilege of interfering with, and controlling, his actions, besides rendering him ridiculous in the gay world, from the antiquated formality, and intrusive presumption, of his manners.

Then his pride and self-esteem suggested that, on the other hand, Richie, with all his good intentions, was hardly better than a conceited, overly practical house servant, who seemed more interested in being a tutor than a subordinate, and who, out of what he claimed was love for his master's well-being, took it upon himself to interfere with and control his actions, making him look foolish in social situations because of his outdated formality and intrusive arrogance.

Nigel's eyes were scarce turned from the window, when his new landlord entering, presented to him a slip of paper, carefully bound round with a string of flox-silk and sealed—-it had been given in, he said, by a woman, who did not stop an instant. The contents harped upon the same string which Richie Moniplies had already jarred. The epistle was in the following words:

Nigel's eyes barely left the window when his new landlord walked in and handed him a piece of paper, neatly tied with a string and sealed—it had been delivered, he said, by a woman who didn’t stop for a moment. The message echoed the same theme that Richie Moniplies had already touched on. The letter read as follows:

For the Right Honourable hands of Lord Glenvarloch, “These, from a friend unknown:—

For the esteemed Lord Glenvarloch, “These, from a friend you don’t know:—

“MY LORD,

“MY LORD,”

“You are trusting to an unhonest friend, and diminishing an honest reputation. An unknown but real friend of your lordship will speak in one word what you would not learn from flatterers in so many days, as should suffice for your utter ruin. He whom you think most true—I say your friend Lord Dalgarno—is utterly false to you, and doth but seek, under pretence of friendship, to mar your fortune, and diminish the good name by which you might mend it. The kind countenance which he shows to you, is more dangerous than the Prince's frown; even as to gain at Beaujeu's ordinary is more discreditable than to lose. Beware of both.—And this is all from your true but nameless friend, IGNOTO.”

“You are relying on a dishonest friend and harming your good reputation. An unknown but genuine friend of yours will tell you in one word what you wouldn’t learn from flatterers in many days, which could lead to your complete downfall. The one you think is most loyal—I mean your friend Lord Dalgarno—is actually completely untrustworthy and is only pretending to be your friend to ruin your chances and tarnish the good name that could help you. The kind attitude he shows you is more dangerous than the Prince's anger; just like gaining favor at Beaujeu's ordinary is more disreputable than losing it. Watch out for both. —And this is all from your true but unnamed friend, IGNOTO.”

Lord Glenvarloch paused for an instant, and crushed the paper together—then again unfolded and read it with attention—bent his brows—mused for a moment, and then tearing it to fragments, exclaimed—“Begone for a vile calumny! But I will watch—I will observe—”

Lord Glenvarloch paused for a moment, crumpled the paper together—then unfolded it again and read it closely—furrowed his brows—thought for a moment, and then, tearing it into pieces, exclaimed—“Get out of here with that disgusting slander! But I will keep an eye on things—I will pay attention—”

Thought after thought rushed on him; but, upon the whole, Lord Glenvarloch was so little satisfied with the result of his own reflections, that he resolved to dissipate them by a walk in the Park, and, taking his cloak and beaver, went thither accordingly.

Thought after thought raced through his mind; however, overall, Lord Glenvarloch was so dissatisfied with the outcome of his reflections that he decided to clear his head with a walk in the Park. He grabbed his cloak and hat and headed out.










CHAPTER XV

  Twas when fleet Snowball's head was woxen grey,
  A luckless lev'ret met him on his way.—
  Who knows not Snowball—he, whose race renown'd
  Is still victorious on each coursing ground?
  Swaffhanm Newmarket, and the Roman Camp,
  Have seen them victors o'er each meaner stamp—
  In vain the youngling sought, with doubling wile,
  The hedge, the hill, the thicket, or the stile.
  Experience sage the lack of speed supplied,
  And in the gap he sought, the victim died.
  So was I once, in thy fair street, Saint James,
  Through walking cavaliers, and car-borne dames,
  Descried, pursued, turn'd o'er again, and o'er,
  Coursed, coted, mouth'd by an unfeeling bore.
                                        &c. &c. &c,
  It was when swift Snowball’s head had turned grey,  
  A unlucky rabbit met him on his way. —  
  Who doesn’t know Snowball — he, whose famous race  
  Is still winning on every racing track?  
  Swaffham, Newmarket, and the Roman Camp,  
  Have seen them victorious over every lesser type —  
  The young one tried, with clever tricks,  
  The hedge, the hill, the thicket, or the stile.  
  Wise experience made up for the lack of speed,  
  And in the gap he sought, the victim fell.  
  So was I once, in your lovely street, Saint James,  
  Through strolling gentlemen, and ladies in cars,  
  Spotted, chased, turned around again and again,  
  Raced, cornered, caught by an unfeeling bore.  
                                        &c. &c. &c,

The Park of Saint James's, though enlarged, planted with verdant alleys, and otherwise decorated by Charles II., existed in the days of his grandfather, as a public and pleasant promenade; and, for the sake of exercise or pastime, was much frequented by the better classes.

The Park of Saint James's, although expanded, filled with green pathways, and otherwise beautified by Charles II., was already present in the time of his grandfather as a public and enjoyable walking area; and, for exercise or leisure, it was frequently visited by the upper classes.

Lord Glenvarloch repaired thither to dispel the unpleasant reflections which had been suggested by his parting with his trusty squire, Richie Moniplies, in a manner which was agreeable neither to his pride nor his feelings; and by the corroboration which the hints of his late attendant had received from the anonymous letter mentioned in the end of the last chapter.

Lord Glenvarloch went there to shake off the unpleasant thoughts that had come up after his parting with his loyal squire, Richie Moniplies, in a way that didn't sit well with his pride or his emotions; and from the confirmation that the suggestions of his recent companion had gotten from the anonymous letter mentioned at the end of the last chapter.

There was a considerable number of company in the Park when he entered it, but, his present state of mind inducing him to avoid society, he kept aloof from the more frequented walks towards Westminster and Whitehall, and drew to the north, or, as we should now say, the Piccadilly verge of the enclosure, believing he might there enjoy, or rather combat, his own thoughts unmolested.

There were a lot of people in the Park when he entered it, but his current mood made him want to avoid others, so he stayed away from the busy paths towards Westminster and Whitehall, and moved towards the north, or what we’d now call the Piccadilly side of the park, thinking he might be able to enjoy, or rather wrestle with, his own thoughts in peace.

In this, however, Lord Glenvarloch was mistaken; for, as he strolled slowly along with his arms folded in his cloak, and his hat drawn over his eyes, he was suddenly pounced upon by Sir Mungo Malagrowther, who, either shunning or shunned, had retreated, or had been obliged to retreat, to the same less frequented corner of the Park.

In this, however, Lord Glenvarloch was mistaken; as he walked slowly with his arms crossed in his cloak and his hat pulled down over his eyes, he was suddenly jumped on by Sir Mungo Malagrowther, who, either avoiding or being avoided, had retreated, or had been forced to retreat, to the same less popular corner of the Park.

Nigel started when he heard the high, sharp, and querulous tones of the knight's cracked voice, and was no less alarmed when he beheld his tall thin figure hobbling towards him, wrapped in a thread-bare cloak, on whose surface ten thousand varied stains eclipsed the original scarlet, and having his head surmounted with a well-worn beaver, bearing a black velvet band for a chain, and a capon's feather for an ostrich plume.

Nigel jumped when he heard the high-pitched, sharp, and complaining tones of the knight's raspy voice, and he felt just as uneasy when he saw the knight's tall, thin figure struggling toward him, wrapped in a shabby cloak, its surface covered in countless different stains that overwhelmed the original red, topped with a well-used felt hat, adorned with a black velvet band for decoration, and a capon feather standing in for an ostrich plume.

Lord Glenvarloch would fain have made his escape, but, as our motto intimates, a leveret had as little chance to free herself of an experienced greyhound. Sir Mungo, to continue the simile, had long ago learned to run cunning, and make sure of mouthing his game. So Nigel found himself compelled to stand and answer the hackneyed question—“What news to-day?”

Lord Glenvarloch wanted to escape, but, as our motto suggests, a hare had just as little chance of getting away from a skilled greyhound. Sir Mungo, to stick with the analogy, had long since figured out how to be sly and ensure he caught his prey. So, Nigel found himself forced to stand and respond to the usual question—“What news today?”

“Nothing extraordinary, I believe,” answered the young nobleman, attempting to pass on.

“Nothing special, I think,” replied the young nobleman, trying to move on.

“O, ye are ganging to the French ordinary belive,” replied the knight; “but it is early day yet—we will take a turn in the Park in the meanwhile—it will sharpen your appetite.”

“O, you are heading to the French restaurant soon,” replied the knight; “but it’s still early—we’ll take a stroll in the Park in the meantime—it’ll sharpen your appetite.”

So saying, he quietly slipped his arm under Lord Glenvarloch's, in spite of all the decent reluctance which his victim could exhibit, by keeping his elbow close to his side; and having fairly grappled the prize, he proceeded to take it in tow.

So saying, he quietly slipped his arm under Lord Glenvarloch's, despite all the polite resistance his victim showed by keeping his elbow tight against his side; and having successfully grabbed the prize, he went ahead and took it along.

Nigel was sullen and silent, in hopes to shake off his unpleasant companion; but Sir Mungo was determined, that if he did not speak, he should at least hear.

Nigel was gloomy and quiet, hoping to get rid of his annoying companion; but Sir Mungo was set on the idea that if he wouldn’t talk, he would at least listen.

“Ye are bound for the ordinary, my lord?” said the cynic;—“weel, ye canna do better—there is choice company there, and peculiarly selected, as I am tauld, being, dootless, sic as it is desirable that young noblemen should herd withal—and your noble father wad have been blithe to see you keeping such worshipful society.”

“Are you heading to the regular place, my lord?” said the cynic;—“well, you can’t do better than that—there's great company there, and it's supposedly well-selected, as I’ve been told, being, of course, the kind that it's desirable for young nobles to associate with—and your noble father would have been pleased to see you keeping such esteemed company.”

“I believe,” said Lord Glenvarloch, thinking himself obliged to say something, “that the society is as good as generally can be found in such places, where the door can scarcely be shut against those who come to spend their money.”

“I believe,” said Lord Glenvarloch, feeling he had to say something, “that the crowd here is about as good as you can find in places like this, where the door can barely close against those coming in to spend their money.”

“Right, my lord—vera right,” said his tormentor, bursting out into a chuckling, but most discordant laugh. “These citizen chuffs and clowns will press in amongst us, when there is but an inch of a door open. And what remedy?—Just e'en this, that as their cash gies them confidence, we should strip them of it. Flay them, my lord—singe them as the kitchen wench does the rats, and then they winna long to come back again.—Ay, ay—pluck them, plume them—and then the larded capons will not be for flying so high a wing, my lord, among the goss-hawks and sparrow-hawks, and the like.”

“Right, my lord—very right,” said his tormentor, bursting into a disruptive chuckle. “These common folks and fools will push their way in whenever there's even a slight crack in the door. And what’s the solution? Just this: as their money gives them confidence, we should take it away from them. Skin them, my lord—burn them like the kitchen maid does with the rats, and then they won't be quick to return. Yes, yes—pluck them, strip them of their comforts—and then the stuffed birds won’t be so eager to fly high, my lord, among the hawks and sparrows, and the like.”

And, therewithal, Sir Mungo fixed on Nigel his quick, sharp, grey eye, watching the effect of his sarcasm as keenly as the surgeon, in a delicate operation, remarks the progress of his anatomical scalpel.

And with that, Sir Mungo fixed his quick, sharp, gray eye on Nigel, watching the impact of his sarcasm as closely as a surgeon observes the progress of his scalpel during a delicate operation.

Nigel, however willing to conceal his sensations, could not avoid gratifying his tormentor by wincing under the operation. He coloured with vexation and anger; but a quarrel with Sir Mungo Malagrowther would, he felt, be unutterably ridiculous; and he only muttered to himself the words, “Impertinent coxcomb!” which, on this occasion, Sir Mungo's imperfection of organ did not prevent him from hearing and replying to.

Nigel, despite wanting to hide how he felt, couldn't help but show his discomfort during the situation. He blushed with frustration and anger, but he thought that arguing with Sir Mungo Malagrowther would be utterly foolish. He simply muttered under his breath, “Impertinent jerk!” which, in this case, Sir Mungo's hearing issues didn't stop him from hearing and responding to.

“Ay, ay—vera true,” exclaimed the caustic old courtier—“Impertinent coxcombs they are, that thus intrude themselves on the society of their betters; but your lordship kens how to gar them as gude—ye have the trick on't.—They had a braw sport in the presence last Friday, how ye suld have routed a young shopkeeper, horse and foot, ta'en his spolia ofima, and a' the specie he had about him, down to the very silver buttons of his cloak, and sent him to graze with Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. Muckle honour redounded to your lordship thereby.—We were tauld the loon threw himsell into the Thames in a fit of desperation. There's enow of them behind—there was mair tint on Flodden-edge.”

“Yeah, yeah—very true,” exclaimed the sharp-tongued old courtier. “They’re just arrogant fools who intrude on the company of their betters; but your lordship knows how to handle them—you have the knack for it. They had quite a show last Friday in the court, where you should have completely defeated a young shopkeeper, both horse and foot, taken his spoils and all the money he had on him, down to the very silver buttons of his cloak, and sent him off to graze with Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. A lot of honor came to your lordship from that. We heard the guy threw himself into the Thames out of desperation. There are plenty more where he came from—there was more lost on Flodden Edge.”

“You have been told a budget of lies, so far as I am concerned, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, speaking loud and sternly.

“You’ve been fed a bunch of lies, as far as I’m concerned, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, speaking loudly and firmly.

“Vera likely—vera likely,” said the unabashed and undismayed Sir Mungo; “naething but lies are current in the circle.—So the chield is not drowned, then?—the mair's the pity.—But I never believed that part of the story—a London dealer has mair wit in his anger. I dare swear the lad has a bonny broom-shank in his hand by this time, and is scrubbing the kennels in quest after rusty nails, to help him to begin his pack again.—He has three bairns, they say; they will help him bravely to grope in the gutters. Your good lordship may have the ruining of him again, my lord, if they have any luck in strand-scouring.”

“Vera likely—vera likely,” said the unabashed and undismayed Sir Mungo; “nothing but lies are going around in the circle.—So the kid isn’t drowned, then?—that’s unfortunate.—But I never believed that part of the story—a London dealer has more sense in his anger. I bet the lad has a nice broomstick in his hand by now and is cleaning the gutters looking for rusty nails to help him start his pack again.—They say he has three kids; they will help him a lot in searching through the gutters. Your good lordship might end up ruining him again, my lord, if they have any luck in scavenging the shore.”

“This is more than intolerable,” said Nigel, uncertain whether to make an angry vindication of his character, or to fling the old tormentor from his arm. But an instant's recollection convinced him, that, to do either, would only give an air of truth and consistency to the scandals which he began to see were affecting his character, both in the higher and lower circles. Hastily, therefore, he formed the wiser resolution, to endure Sir Mungo's studied impertinence, under the hope of ascertaining, if possible, from what source those reports arose which were so prejudicial to his reputation.

“This is beyond unacceptable,” said Nigel, unsure whether to fiercely defend his character or to throw the old tormentor off his arm. But a moment's reflection convinced him that doing either would only give weight and credibility to the rumors he now realized were damaging his reputation in both high and low circles. Quickly, he decided that the wiser choice was to tolerate Sir Mungo's deliberate rudeness, hoping to figure out where those harmful reports about him were coming from.

Sir Mungo, in the meanwhile, caught up, as usual, Nigel's last words, or rather the sound of them, and amplified and interpreted them in his own way. “Tolerable luck!” he repeated; “yes, truly, my lord, I am told that you have tolerable luck, and that ye ken weel how to use that jilting quean, Dame Fortune, like a canny douce lad, willing to warm yourself in her smiles, without exposing yourself to her frowns. And that is what I ca' having luck in a bag.”

Sir Mungo, in the meantime, caught up, as usual, with Nigel's last words, or rather the sound of them, and interpreted them his own way. “Decent luck!” he repeated; “yes, truly, my lord, I’ve heard that you have decent luck and that you know how to handle that fickle woman, Lady Fortune, like a clever, sensible guy, eager to enjoy her favor without risking her displeasure. And that’s what I call having luck in a bag.”

“Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” said Lord Glenvarloch, turning towards him seriously, “have the goodness to hear me for a moment.”

“Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” Lord Glenvarloch said, turning to him earnestly, “please take a moment to listen to me.”

“As weel as I can, my lord—as weel as I can,” said Sir Mungo, shaking his head, and pointing the finger of his left hand to his ear.

“As well as I can, my lord—as well as I can,” said Sir Mungo, shaking his head and pointing the finger of his left hand to his ear.

“I will try to speak very distinctly,” said Nigel, arming himself with patience. “You take me for a noted gamester; I give you my word that you have not been rightly informed—I am none such. You owe me some explanation, at least, respecting the source from which you have derived such false information.”

“I will try to speak clearly,” said Nigel, preparing himself with patience. “You think I’m a well-known gambler; I assure you, you’ve been misinformed—I’m not one at all. You owe me some explanation about where you got such inaccurate information.”

“I never heard ye were a great gamester, and never thought or said ye were such, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, who found it impossible to avoid hearing what Nigel said with peculiarly deliberate and distinct pronunciation. “I repeat it—I never heard, said, or thought that you were a ruffling gamester,—such as they call those of the first head.—Look you, my lord, I call him a gamester, that plays with equal stakes and equal skill, and stands by the fortune of the game, good or bad; and I call him a ruffling gamester, or ane of the first head, who ventures frankly and deeply upon such a wager. But he, my lord, who has the patience and prudence never to venture beyond small game, such as, at most, might crack the Christmas-box of a grocer's 'prentice, who vies with those that have little to hazard, and who therefore, having the larger stock, can always rook them by waiting for his good fortune, and by rising from the game when luck leaves him—such a one as he, my lord, I do not call a great gamester, to whatever other name he may be entitled.”

“I never heard you were a great gambler, and I never thought or said that you were, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, who found it impossible to ignore what Nigel said with particularly clear and precise pronunciation. “I’ll say it again—I never heard, said, or thought that you were a flashy gambler,—such as they call those at the top level.—Look, my lord, I call him a gambler who plays with equal stakes and equal skill, and accepts the outcome of the game, good or bad; and I call him a flashy gambler, or one at the top level, who boldly and deeply engages in such bets. But he, my lord, who has the patience and wisdom never to venture beyond small stakes, like what might barely cover a grocer's apprentice's Christmas bonus, who competes with those who have little to risk, and who therefore, having the larger bankroll, can always outplay them by waiting for his luck, and by walking away from the game when luck is against him—such a person, my lord, I do not consider a great gambler, no matter what other title he may have.”

“And such a mean-spirited, sordid wretch, you would infer that I am,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “one who fears the skilful, and preys upon the ignorant—who avoids playing with his equals, that he may make sure of pillaging his inferiors?—Is this what I am to understand has been reported of me?”

“And you’d think I’m such a petty, miserable person,” replied Lord Glenvarloch. “Someone who’s afraid of the skilled and preys on the clueless—who dodges games with his equals just to make sure he can rob those beneath him? Is this what I’m supposed to believe people are saying about me?”

“Nay, my lord, you will gain nought by speaking big with me,” said Sir Mungo, who, besides that his sarcastic humour was really supported by a good fund of animal courage, had also full reliance on the immunities which he had derived from the broadsword of Sir Rullion Rattray, and the baton of the satellites employed by the Lady Cockpen. “And for the truth of the matter,” he continued, “your lordship best knows whether you ever lost more than five pieces at a time since you frequented Beaujeu's—whether you have not most commonly risen a winner—and whether the brave young gallants who frequent the ordinary—I mean those of noble rank, and means conforming—are in use to play upon those terms?”

“Nah, my lord, you won't get anywhere by trying to intimidate me,” said Sir Mungo, who, in addition to his sharp wit being backed by solid bravery, also had full confidence in the protection he gained from Sir Rullion Rattray's broadsword and the authority of the attendants employed by Lady Cockpen. “And to be honest,” he continued, “you know better than anyone whether you've ever lost more than five coins at once since you started going to Beaujeu's—whether you usually end up winning—and whether the young nobles who hang out at the tavern—those of noble birth and sufficient means—typically play under those terms?”

“My father was right,” said Lord Glenvarloch, in the bitterness of his spirit; “and his curse justly followed me when I first entered that place. There is contamination in the air, and he whose fortune avoids ruin, shall be blighted in his honour and reputation.”

“My father was right,” said Lord Glenvarloch, bitterly; “and his curse justly fell upon me when I first stepped into that place. The air is toxic, and anyone whose luck escapes disaster will be tarnished in their honor and reputation.”

Sir Mungo, who watched his victim with the delighted yet wary eye of an experienced angler, became now aware, that if he strained the line on him too tightly, there was every risk of his breaking hold. In order to give him room, therefore, to play, he protested that Lord Glenvarloch “should not take his free speech in malam partem. If you were a trifle ower sicker in your amusement, my lord, it canna be denied that it is the safest course to prevent farther endangerment of your somewhat dilapidated fortunes; and if ye play with your inferiors, ye are relieved of the pain of pouching the siller of your friends and equals; forby, that the plebeian knaves have had the advantage, tecum certasse, as Ajax Telamon sayeth, apud Metamorphoseos; and for the like of them to have played with ane Scottish nobleman is an honest and honourable consideration to compensate the loss of their stake, whilk, I dare say, moreover, maist of the churls can weel afford.”

Sir Mungo, who watched his target with the excited yet cautious eye of a seasoned fisherman, realized that if he tightened the line too much, there was a real chance he would lose his grip. To give him some space to maneuver, he insisted that Lord Glenvarloch “should not take his honest words the wrong way. If you were a bit more careful with your enjoyment, my lord, it can’t be denied that it’s the safest option to avoid further risking your somewhat damaged fortunes; and if you gamble with your social inferiors, you skip the discomfort of having to take money from your friends and peers; besides, those common rogues have had the upper hand, as Ajax Telamon would say, in Metamorphoseos; and for them to have played against a Scottish nobleman is a respectable and honorable reason to make up for their loss, which, I dare say, most of the common folk can easily afford.”

“Be that as it may, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, “I would fain know—”

“Anyway, Sir Mungo,” Nigel said, “I would like to know—”

“Ay, ay,” interrupted Sir Mungo; “and, as you say, who cares whether the fat bulls of Bashan can spare it or no? gentlemen are not to limit their sport for the like of them.”

“Ay, ay,” interrupted Sir Mungo; “and, as you say, who cares if the fat bulls of Bashan can spare it or not? Gentlemen shouldn't limit their fun for the likes of them.”

“I wish to know, Sir Mungo,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “in what company you have learned these offensive particulars respecting me?”

“I'd like to know, Sir Mungo,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “who you’ve been talking to that told you these unflattering things about me?”

“Dootless—dootless, my lord,” said Sir Mungo; “I have ever heard, and have ever reported, that your lordship kept the best of company in a private way.—There is the fine Countess of Blackchester, but I think she stirs not much abroad since her affair with his Grace of Buckingham; and there is the gude auld-fashioned Scottish nobleman, Lord Huntinglen, an undeniable man of quality—it is pity but he could keep caup and can frae his head, whilk now and then doth'minish his reputation. And there is the gay young Lord Dalgarno, that carries the craft of gray hairs under his curled love-locks—a fair race they are, father, daughter, and son, all of the same honourable family. I think we needna speak of George Heriot, honest man, when we have nobility in question. So that is the company I have heard of your keeping, my lord, out-taken those of the ordinary.”

“Definitely—definitely, my lord,” said Sir Mungo; “I’ve always heard, and have always reported, that you have the best company in a private setting.—There’s the lovely Countess of Blackchester, but I think she doesn’t go out much since her affair with the Duke of Buckingham; and there’s the good old-fashioned Scottish nobleman, Lord Huntinglen, an undeniable man of quality—it’s a pity he can’t keep his drinking habits in check, which sometimes tarnishes his reputation. And there’s the charming young Lord Dalgarno, who hides his gray hairs under his styled curls—a lovely family they are, father, daughter, and son, all from the same honorable lineage. I think we shouldn’t mention George Heriot, a decent man, when we’re talking about nobility. So that’s the company I’ve heard you keep, my lord, aside from the ordinary folks.”

“My company has not, indeed, been much more extended than amongst those you mention,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but in short—”

“My company hasn’t really been much larger than the ones you mentioned,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but in short—”

“To Court?” said Sir Mungo, “that was just what I was going to say—Lord Dalgarno says he cannot prevail on ye to come to Court, and that does ye prejudice, my lord—the king hears of you by others, when he should see you in person—I speak in serious friendship, my lord. His Majesty, when you were named in the circle short while since, was heard to say, 'Jacta est alea!—Glenvarlochides is turned dicer and drinker.'—My Lord Dalgarno took your part, and he was e'en borne down by the popular voice of the courtiers, who spoke of you as one who had betaken yourself to living a town life, and risking your baron's coronet amongst the flatcaps of the city.”

“To Court?” Sir Mungo said, “that’s exactly what I was going to mention—Lord Dalgarno says he can’t convince you to come to Court, and that’s hurting you, my lord—the king hears about you from others instead of seeing you face-to-face—I’m speaking as a true friend, my lord. His Majesty, when you were mentioned in the circle not long ago, was heard to say, 'Jacta est alea!—Glenvarlochides has become a gambler and a drinker.'—My Lord Dalgarno defended you, but he was overwhelmed by the popular opinion of the courtiers, who described you as someone who has chosen to live a city life, risking your baron’s title among the common folks of the city.”

“And this was publicly spoken of me,” said Nigel, “and in the king's presence?”

“And this was said about me in public?” Nigel asked. “In front of the king?”

“Spoken openly?” repeated Sir Mungo Malagrowther; “ay, by my troth was it—that is to say, it was whispered privately—whilk is as open promulgation as the thing permitted; for ye may think the Court is not like a place where men are as sib as Simmie and his brother, and roar out their minds as if they were at an ordinary.”

“Spoken openly?” repeated Sir Mungo Malagrowther; “Yes, indeed it was—that is to say, it was whispered privately—which is as good as public announcement; because you might think the Court isn’t a place where people are as close as Simmie and his brother, and shout out their thoughts as if they were at a tavern.”

“A curse on the Court and the ordinary both!” cried Nigel, impatiently.

“A curse on the Court and the common people too!” cried Nigel, impatiently.

“With all my heart,” said the knight; “I have got little by a knight's service in the Court; and the last time I was at the ordinary, I lost four angels.”

“From the bottom of my heart,” said the knight; “I've gained very little from being a knight at the Court; and the last time I went to the tavern, I lost four gold coins.”

“May I pray of you, Sir Mungo, to let me know,” said Nigel, “the names of those who thus make free with the character of one who can be but little known to them, and who never injured any of them?”

“Can I ask you, Sir Mungo, to tell me,” said Nigel, “the names of those who are so quick to tarnish the reputation of someone they hardly know and who has never harmed any of them?”

“Have I not told you already,” answered Sir Mungo, “that the king said something to that effect—so did the Prince too;—and such being the case, ye may take it on your corporal oath, that every man in the circle who was not silent, sung the same song as they did.”

“Didn't I already tell you,” replied Sir Mungo, “that the king mentioned something like that—so did the Prince;—and with that being the case, you can swear on your life that every man in the circle who wasn’t quiet sang the same tune as they did.”

“You said but now,” replied Glenvarloch, “that Lord Dalgarno interfered in my behalf.”

“You just said that Lord Dalgarno stepped in to help me,” replied Glenvarloch.

“In good troth did he,” answered Sir Mungo, with a sneer; “but the young nobleman was soon borne down—by token, he had something of a catarrh, and spoke as hoarse as a roopit raven. Poor gentleman, if he had had his full extent of voice, he would have been as well listened to, dootless, as in a cause of his ain, whilk no man kens better how to plead to purpose.—And let me ask you, by the way,” continued Sir Mungo, “whether Lord Dalgarno has ever introduced your lordship to the Prince, or the Duke of Buckingham, either of whom might soon carry through your suit?”

“In good truth, he did,” replied Sir Mungo, with a sneer; “but the young nobleman was quickly overwhelmed—mainly because he had a bit of a cold and spoke as hoarse as a croaky raven. Poor guy, if he had been able to speak at full volume, he would have been just as well heard, no doubt, as in a case of his own, which no one knows better how to argue effectively. And let me ask you, by the way,” Sir Mungo continued, “has Lord Dalgarno ever introduced you to the Prince or the Duke of Buckingham? Either of them could easily help with your case.”

“I have no claim on the favour of either the Prince or the Duke of Buckingham,” said Lord Glenvarloch.—“As you seem to have made my affairs your study, Sir Mungo, although perhaps something unnecessarily, you may have heard that I have petitioned my Sovereign for payment of a debt due to my family. I cannot doubt the king's desire to do justice, nor can I in decency employ the solicitation of his Highness the Prince, or his Grace the Duke of Buckingham, to obtain from his Majesty what either should be granted me as a right, or refused altogether.”

“I have no connection with either the Prince or the Duke of Buckingham,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Since you seem to have taken an interest in my situation, Sir Mungo, perhaps a bit too much, you might have heard that I have asked my Sovereign to pay a debt owed to my family. I am sure the king wants to do what’s fair, but I can’t, in good conscience, ask for the help of his Highness the Prince or his Grace the Duke of Buckingham to get what should be given to me as a right, or denied outright.”

Sir Mungo twisted his whimsical features into one of his most grotesque sneers, as he replied—

Sir Mungo twisted his playful features into one of his most grotesque sneers as he replied—

“It is a vera clear and parspicuous position of the case, my lord; and in relying thereupon, you show an absolute and unimprovable acquaintance with the King, Court, and mankind in general.-But whom have we got here?—Stand up, my lord, and make way—by my word of honour, they are the very men we spoke of—talk of the devil, and—humph!”

“It’s a very clear and obvious situation, my lord; and by relying on that, you demonstrate an absolute and unmatched understanding of the King, the Court, and people in general. But who do we have here?—Stand up, my lord, and clear the way—by my word of honor, they are exactly the people we were talking about—speak of the devil, and—humph!”

It must be here premised, that, during the conversation, Lord Glenvarloch, perhaps in the hope of shaking himself free of Sir Mungo, had directed their walk towards the more frequented part of the Park; while the good knight had stuck to him, being totally indifferent which way they went, provided he could keep his talons clutched upon his companion. They were still, however, at some distance from the livelier part of the scene, when Sir Mungo's experienced eye noticed the appearances which occasioned the latter part of his speech to Lord Glenvarloch. A low respectful murmur arose among the numerous groups of persons which occupied the lower part of the Park. They first clustered together, with their faces turned towards Whitehall, then fell back on either hand to give place to a splendid party of gallants, who, advancing from the Palace, came onward through the Park; all the other company drawing off the pathway, and standing uncovered as they passed.

It should be noted that during their conversation, Lord Glenvarloch, maybe hoping to shake off Sir Mungo, had steered their walk toward the busier part of the Park. Meanwhile, the good knight stayed close, completely unconcerned about the direction as long as he could keep a grip on his companion. They were still somewhat away from the livelier part of the scene when Sir Mungo's trained eye spotted the situation that triggered the latter part of his speech to Lord Glenvarloch. A low, respectful murmur arose among the many groups of people occupying the lower part of the Park. They first gathered together, facing Whitehall, then parted on either side to make way for a magnificent group of gentlemen advancing from the Palace, while all the other attendees stepped aside from the path, standing uncovered as they passed.

Most of these courtly gallants were dressed in the garb which the pencil of Vandyke has made familiar even at the distance of nearly two centuries; and which was just at this period beginning to supersede the more fluttering and frivolous dress which had been adopted from the French Court of Henri Quatre.

Most of these fashionable gentlemen were dressed in the style made famous by Vandyke nearly two centuries ago; and this was just starting to replace the more elaborate and flashy outfits that had come from the French Court of Henry IV.

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The whole train were uncovered excepting the Prince of Wales, afterwards the most unfortunate of British monarchs, who came onward, having his long curled auburn tresses, and his countenance, which, even in early youth, bore a shade of anticipated melancholy, shaded by the Spanish hat and the single ostrich feather which drooped from it. On his right hand was Buckingham, whose commanding, and at the same time graceful, deportment, threw almost into shade the personal demeanour and majesty of the Prince on whom he attended. The eye, movements, and gestures of the great courtier were so composed, so regularly observant of all etiquette belonging to his situation, as to form a marked and strong contrast with the forward gaiety and frivolity by which he recommended himself to the favour of his “dear dad and gossip,” King James. A singular fate attended this accomplished courtier, in being at once the reigning favourite of a father and son so very opposite in manners, that, to ingratiate himself with the youthful Prince, he was obliged to compress within the strictest limits of respectful observance the frolicsome and free humour which captivated his aged father.

The entire train was exposed except for the Prince of Wales, who would later become the most unfortunate British monarch. He approached with his long, curled auburn hair and a face that, even in his youth, showed a hint of expected sadness, topped by a Spanish hat adorned with a single drooping ostrich feather. To his right stood Buckingham, whose commanding yet graceful presence almost overshadowed the Prince's personal demeanor and regal air. The great courtier's eyes, movements, and gestures were so composed and meticulously respectful of etiquette that they formed a striking contrast to the carefree and playful attitude he used to win the favor of his "dear dad and gossip," King James. This talented courtier experienced a unique fate, being the favorite of both a father and son who were so different in character that to gain the younger Prince's approval, he had to keep his lively and humorous nature in check to show the utmost respect.

It is true, Buckingham well knew the different dispositions both of James and Charles, and had no difficulty in so conducting himself as to maintain the highest post in the favour of both. It has indeed been supposed, as we before hinted, that the duke, when he had completely possessed himself of the affections of Charles, retained his hold in those of the father only by the tyranny of custom; and that James, could he have brought himself to form a vigorous resolution, was, in the latter years of his life especially, not unlikely to have discarded Buckingham from his counsels and favour. But if ever the king indeed meditated such a change, he was too timid, and too much accustomed to the influence which the duke had long exercised over him, to summon up resolution enough for effecting such a purpose; and at all events it is certain, that Buckingham, though surviving the master by whom he was raised, had the rare chance to experience no wane of the most splendid court-favour during two reigns, until it was at once eclipsed in his blood by the dagger of his assassin Felton.

It's true that Buckingham understood the different personalities of both James and Charles, and he had no trouble managing himself to stay in the good graces of both. It's been suggested, as we mentioned earlier, that once the duke had completely won over Charles, he held onto James's favor only due to the habit that had formed over time; had James found the courage to make a bold decision, especially in the later years of his life, it’s likely he would have removed Buckingham from his circle of advisors. However, if the king ever seriously considered such a change, he was too fearful and too used to the influence the duke had long held over him to gather the strength to make it happen. Regardless, it’s clear that Buckingham, even after outliving the master who raised him, had the rare opportunity to enjoy uninterrupted favor at court during two reigns, until it was abruptly ended by the dagger of his assassin, Felton.

To return from this digression: The Prince, with his train, advanced, and were near the place where Lord Glenvarloch and Sir Mungo had stood aside, according to form, in order to give the Prince passage, and to pay the usual marks of respect. Nigel could now remark that Lord Dalgarno walked close behind the Duke of Buckingham, and, as he thought, whispered something in his ear as they came onward. At any rate, both the Prince's and Duke of Buckingham's attention seemed to be directed by such circumstance towards Nigel, for they turned their heads in that direction and looked at him attentively—the Prince with a countenance, the grave, melancholy expression of which was blended with severity; while Buckingham's looks evinced some degree of scornful triumph. Lord Dalgarno did not seem to observe his friend, perhaps because the sunbeams fell from the side of the walk on which Nigel stood, obliging Malcolm to hold up his hat to screen his eyes.

To get back to the point: The Prince, along with his entourage, moved forward and was close to where Lord Glenvarloch and Sir Mungo had stepped aside, as is customary, to let the Prince pass and show their respect. Nigel noticed that Lord Dalgarno was walking just behind the Duke of Buckingham and, as he thought, whispered something in his ear as they approached. In any case, both the Prince and the Duke of Buckingham seemed to be paying attention to Nigel, as they turned to look at him intently—the Prince with a serious, somber expression mixed with severity, while Buckingham's gaze showed a hint of scornful triumph. Lord Dalgarno didn’t seem to notice his friend, maybe because the sunlight was shining from the side of the path where Nigel stood, forcing Malcolm to hold up his hat to shield his eyes.

As the Prince passed, Lord Glenvarloch and Sir Mungo bowed, as respect required; and the Prince, returning their obeisance with that grave ceremony which paid to every rank its due, but not a tittle beyond it, signed to Sir Mungo to come forward. Commencing an apology for his lameness as he started, which he had just completed as his hobbling gait brought him up to the Prince, Sir Mungo lent an attentive, and, as it seemed, an intelligent ear, to questions, asked in a tone so low, that the knight would certainly have been deaf to them had they been put to him by any one under the rank of Prince of Wales. After about a minute's conversation, the Prince bestowed on Nigel the embarrassing notice of another fixed look, touched his hat slightly to Sir Mungo, and walked on.

As the Prince passed by, Lord Glenvarloch and Sir Mungo bowed, as was respectful; the Prince returned their gesture with a serious formality that acknowledged every rank appropriately, but not a bit more, and he signaled for Sir Mungo to step forward. Sir Mungo began to apologize for his limp as he approached, finishing just as he reached the Prince. He listened carefully, seeming genuinely engaged, to questions asked in such a quiet tone that he surely would have missed them if they had come from anyone lower than the Prince of Wales. After about a minute of conversation, the Prince gave Nigel an uncomfortable lingering glance, nodded slightly to Sir Mungo, and continued on his way.

“It is even as I suspected, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, with an air which he designed to be melancholy and sympathetic, but which, in fact, resembled the grin of an ape when he has mouthed a scalding chestnut—“Ye have back-friends, my lord, that is, unfriends—or, to be plain, enemies—about the person of the Prince.”

“It’s just as I thought, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, trying to look sad and understanding, but instead he looked like a monkey that just bit into a hot chestnut—“You have backstabbers, my lord, or, to put it simply, enemies—surrounding the Prince.”

“I am sorry to hear it,” said Nigel; “but I would I knew what they accuse me of.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Nigel; “but I wish I knew what they’re accusing me of.”

“Ye shall hear, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, “the Prince's vera words—'Sir Mungo,' said he, 'I rejoice to see you, and am glad your rheumatic troubles permit you to come hither for exercise.'—I bowed, as in duty bound—ye might remark, my lord, that I did so, whilk formed the first branch of our conversation.—His Highness then demanded of me, 'if he with whom I stood, was the young Lord Glenvarloch.' I answered, 'that you were such, for his Highness's service;' whilk was the second branch.—Thirdly, his Highness, resuming the argument, said, that 'truly he had been told so,' (meaning that he had been told you were that personage,) 'but that he could not believe, that the heir of that noble and decayed house could be leading an idle, scandalous, and precarious life, in the eating-houses and taverns of London, while the king's drums were beating, and colours flying in Germany in the cause of the Palatine, his son-in-law.'—I could, your lordship is aware, do nothing but make an obeisance; and a gracious 'Give ye good-day, Sir Mungo Malagrowther,' licensed me to fall back to your lordship. And now, my lord, if your business or pleasure calls you to the ordinary, or anywhere in the direction of the city—why, have with you; for, dootless, ye will think ye have tarried lang enough in the Park, as they will likely turn at the head of the walk, and return this way—and you have a broad hint, I think, not to cross the Prince's presence in a hurry.”

"You will hear, my lord," said Sir Mungo, "the Prince's exact words—'Sir Mungo,' he said, 'I'm glad to see you, and I'm pleased your rheumatic issues allow you to come here for some exercise.'—I bowed, as is my duty— you might notice, my lord, that I did so, which started our conversation.—His Highness then asked me, 'if the person I was with was the young Lord Glenvarloch.' I replied, 'that you were indeed, for his Highness's service;' which was the second part of the conversation.—Thirdly, his Highness continued, saying, 'I have indeed been told so,' (meaning he was informed you were that individual,) 'but I simply cannot believe that the heir to such a noble but fallen house could be living an idle, scandalous, and uncertain life, in the cafes and taverns of London, while the king's drums are beating, and colors are flying in Germany for the cause of the Palatine, his son-in-law.'—I could only make a bow, as your lordship knows, and with a gracious 'Good day to you, Sir Mungo Malagrowther,' I was allowed to return to your lordship. And now, my lord, if your business or leisure takes you to the ordinary, or anywhere in the direction of the city—well, go ahead; for surely, you will feel you've stayed long enough in the Park, as they will likely turn at the head of the walk and come back this way—and I think you have a clear hint not to rush into the Prince's presence."

You may stay or go as you please, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, with an expression of calm, but deep resentment; “but, for my own part, my resolution is taken. I will quit this public walk for pleasure of no man—still less will I quit it like one unworthy to be seen in places of public resort. I trust that the Prince and his retinue will return this way as you expect; for I will abide, Sir Mungo, and beard them.”

You can stay or leave whenever you want, Sir Mungo,” Nigel said, his calm expression hiding deep resentment. “As for me, I’ve made my decision. I won’t leave this public place for anyone’s enjoyment—especially not for the sake of appearing unworthy in public. I hope the Prince and his entourage will come back this way as you expect; because I’m going to stay, Sir Mungo, and face them.”

“Beard them!” exclaimed Sir Mungo, in the extremity of surprise,—“Beard the Prince of Wales—the heir-apparent of the kingdoms!—By my saul, you shall beard him yourself then.”

“Confront him!” exclaimed Sir Mungo, in utter shock, —“Confront the Prince of Wales—the heir to the kingdoms!—I swear, you will confront him yourself then.”

Accordingly, he was about to leave Nigel very hastily, when some unwonted touch of good-natured interest in his youth and experience, seemed suddenly to soften his habitual cynicism.

Accordingly, he was about to leave Nigel very quickly when some unexpected spark of genuine interest in his youth and experience suddenly seemed to soften his usual cynicism.

“The devil is in me for an auld fule!” said Sir Mungo; “but I must needs concern mysell—I that owe so little either to fortune or my fellow-creatures, must, I say, needs concern mysell—with this springald, whom I will warrant to be as obstinate as a pig possessed with a devil, for it's the cast of his family; and yet I maun e'en fling away some sound advice on him.—My dainty young Lord Glenvarloch, understand me distinctly, for this is no bairn's-play. When the Prince said sae much to me as I have repeated to you, it was equivalent to a command not to appear in his presence; wherefore take an auld man's advice that wishes you weel, and maybe a wee thing better than he has reason to wish ony body. Jouk, and let the jaw gae by, like a canny bairn—gang hame to your lodgings, keep your foot frae taverns, and your fingers frae the dice-box; compound your affairs quietly wi' some ane that has better favour than yours about Court, and you will get a round spell of money to carry you to Germany, or elsewhere, to push your fortune. It was a fortunate soldier that made your family four or five hundred years syne, and, if you are brave and fortunate, you may find the way to repair it. But, take my word for it, that in this Court you will never thrive.”

“The devil is in me for an old fool!” said Sir Mungo; “but I have to think of myself—I, who owe so little to luck or my fellow humans, must, I say, need to think of myself—with this young man, whom I guarantee is as stubborn as a pig possessed by a devil, it runs in his family; and yet I must throw out some solid advice to him.—My dear young Lord Glenvarloch, listen carefully, because this isn’t child’s play. When the Prince said as much to me as I’ve repeated to you, it was essentially a command to stay away from him; so take an old man’s advice who genuinely wishes you well, even a little better than he has any reason to wish anyone. Bow out, and let the gossip pass, like a sensible child—go home to your lodging, avoid taverns, and stay away from dice; settle your matters quietly with someone who has more favor in Court than you do, and you’ll get a decent amount of money to take you to Germany or elsewhere, to seek your fortune. A lucky soldier created your family four or five hundred years ago, and if you are brave and fortunate, you might find a way to restore it. But believe me, you won’t prosper in this Court.”

When Sir Mungo had completed his exhortation, in which there was more of sincere sympathy with another's situation, than he had been heretofore known to express in behalf of any one, Lord Glenvarloch replied, “I am obliged to you, Sir Mungo—you have spoken, I think, with sincerity, and I thank you. But in return for your good advice, I heartily entreat you to leave me; I observe the Prince and his train are returning down the walk, and you may prejudice yourself, but cannot help me, by remaining with me.”

When Sir Mungo finished his speech, which showed more genuine sympathy for someone else's situation than he had ever expressed before, Lord Glenvarloch replied, “Thank you, Sir Mungo—you’ve spoken sincerely, and I appreciate it. But in exchange for your good advice, I sincerely ask you to leave me; I see the Prince and his entourage are coming back down the path, and staying with me might hurt you, but it won't help me.”

“And that is true,”—said Sir Mungo; “yet, were I ten years younger, I would be tempted to stand by you, and gie them the meeting. But at threescore and upward, men's courage turns cauldrife; and they that canna win a living, must not endanger the small sustenance of their age. I wish you weel through, my lord, but it is an unequal fight.” So saying, he turned and limped away; often looking back, however, as if his natural spirit, even in its present subdued state, aided by his love of contradiction and of debate, rendered him unwilling to adopt the course necessary for his own security.

“And that’s true,” said Sir Mungo; “but if I were ten years younger, I’d be tempted to stand by you and face them. But at sixty and above, a man’s courage cools; and those who can’t make a living shouldn’t risk the little sustenance they have left. I wish you well, my lord, but it’s an unfair fight.” With that, he turned and limped away, often looking back, as if his natural spirit, even in its current subdued state, along with his love for contradiction and debate, made him reluctant to take the path necessary for his own safety.

Thus abandoned by his companion, whose departure he graced with better thoughts of him than those which he bestowed on his appearance, Nigel remained with his arms folded, and reclining against a solitary tree which overhung the path, making up his mind to encounter a moment which he expected to be critical of his fate. But he was mistaken in supposing that the Prince of Wales would either address him, or admit him to expostulation, in such a public place as the Park. He did not remain unnoticed, however, for, when he made a respectful but haughty obeisance, intimating in look and manner that he was possessed of, and undaunted by, the unfavourable opinion which the Prince had so lately expressed, Charles returned his reverence with such a frown, as is only given by those whose frown is authority and decision. The train passed on, the Duke of Buckingham not even appearing to see Lord Glenvarloch; while Lord Dalgarno, though no longer incommoded by the sunbeams, kept his eyes, which had perhaps been dazzled by their former splendour, bent upon the ground.

Thus abandoned by his companion, whose departure he remembered more fondly than his looks, Nigel stood with his arms crossed, leaning against a solitary tree that overhung the path, preparing himself for what he expected to be a turning point in his fate. However, he was mistaken in thinking that the Prince of Wales would either speak to him or allow him to protest in such a public place as the Park. He did not go unnoticed, though, for when he offered a respectful yet proud bow, signaling with his expression and demeanor that he was unaffected by the Prince's recent negative opinion of him, Charles responded with a frown that only those in authority can give. The group moved on, with the Duke of Buckingham not even pretending to notice Lord Glenvarloch; meanwhile, Lord Dalgarno, no longer bothered by the sun’s glare, kept his eyes fixed on the ground, possibly still dazzled by its previous brightness.

Lord Glenvarloch had difficulty to restrain an indignation, to which, in the circumstances, it would have been madness to have given vent. He started from his reclining posture, and followed the Prince's train so as to keep them distinctly in sight; which was very easy, as they walked slowly. Nigel observed them keep their road towards the Palace, where the Prince turned at the gate and bowed to the noblemen in attendance, in token of dismissing them, and entered the Palace, accompanied only by the Duke of Buckingham, and one or two of his equerries. The rest of the train, having returned in all dutiful humility the farewell of the Prince, began to disperse themselves through the Park.

Lord Glenvarloch struggled to contain his anger, which, given the situation, would have been crazy to express. He got up from his relaxed position and followed the Prince's group to keep them clearly in sight, which was easy since they were walking slowly. Nigel watched as they headed toward the Palace, where the Prince paused at the gate and bowed to the noblemen in attendance to dismiss them before entering the Palace with only the Duke of Buckingham and a couple of his attendants. The rest of the group, having humbly returned the Prince's farewell, began to spread out through the Park.

All this was carefully noticed by Lord Glenvarloch, who, as he adjusted his cloak, and drew his sword-belt round so as to bring the hilt closer to his hand, muttered—“Dalgarno shall explain all this to me, for it is evident that he is in the secret!”

All of this was carefully observed by Lord Glenvarloch, who, while adjusting his cloak and tightening his sword-belt to bring the hilt closer to his hand, muttered, “Dalgarno will explain all this to me, because it’s clear he knows what’s going on!”










CHAPTER XVI

  Give way—give way—I must and will have justice.
  And tell me not of privilege and place;
  Where I am injured, there I'll sue redress.
  Look to it, every one who bars my access;
  I have a heart to feel the injury,
  A hand to night myself, and, by my honour,
  That hand shall grasp what grey-beard Law denies me.
                                The Chamberlain.
Give way—give way—I need and will get justice.  
And don’t talk to me about privilege and status;  
Where I’m wronged, that’s where I’ll seek justice.  
Watch out, everyone who blocks my way;  
I have a heart to feel the hurt,  
A hand to make things right, and, by my honor,  
That hand will take what the outdated Law denies me.  
                                The Chamberlain.

It was not long ere Nigel discovered Lord Dalgarno advancing towards him in the company of another young man of quality of the Prince's train; and as they directed their course towards the south-eastern corner of the Park, he concluded they were about to go to Lord Huntinglen's. They stopped, however, and turned up another path leading to the north; and Lord Glenvarloch conceived that this change of direction was owing to their having seen him, and their desire to avoid him.

It wasn't long before Nigel saw Lord Dalgarno coming toward him with another young noble from the Prince's group. As they headed toward the southeast corner of the Park, he figured they were on their way to Lord Huntinglen's. However, they paused and took a different path going north, and Lord Glenvarloch thought this change was because they spotted him and wanted to steer clear.

Nigel followed them without hesitation by a path which, winding around a thicket of shrubs and trees, once more conducted him to the less frequented part of the Park. He observed which side of the thicket was taken by Lord Dalgarno and his companion, and he himself, walking hastily round the other verge, was thus enabled to meet them face to face.

Nigel followed them without hesitation along a path that wound around a thicket of shrubs and trees, leading him once again to the quieter part of the Park. He noticed which side of the thicket Lord Dalgarno and his companion took, and he quickly walked around the other edge, allowing him to meet them head-on.

“Good-morrow, my Lord Dalgarno,” said Lord Glenvarloch, sternly.

“Good morning, my Lord Dalgarno,” said Lord Glenvarloch, seriously.

“Ha! my friend Nigel,” answered Lord Dalgarno, in his usual careless and indifferent tone, “my friend Nigel, with business on his brow?—but you must wait till we meet at Beaujeu's at noon—Sir Ewes Haldimund and I are at present engaged in the Prince's service.”

“Ha! my friend Nigel,” replied Lord Dalgarno, in his typical casual and indifferent way, “my friend Nigel, looking all serious?—but you’ll have to wait until we meet at Beaujeu's at noon—Sir Ewes Haldimund and I are currently tied up with the Prince's business.”

“If you were engaged in the king's, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you must stand and answer me.”

“If you were involved with the king's, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you must stand and answer me.”

“Hey-day!” said Lord Dalgarno, with an air of great astonishment, “what passion is this? Why, Nigel, this is King Cambyses' vein!—You have frequented the theatres too much lately—Away with this folly, man; go, dine upon soup and salad, drink succory-water to cool your blood, go to bed at sun-down, and defy those foul fiends, Wrath and Misconstruction.”

“Wow!” said Lord Dalgarno, looking very surprised, “What’s going on here? Nigel, this is so typical of King Cambyses! You’ve been going to the theaters too much lately—Forget about this nonsense, man; go eat some soup and salad, drink some herbal tea to cool off, go to bed at sunset, and resist those nasty feelings of anger and misunderstanding.”

“I have had misconstruction enough among you,” said Glenvarloch, in the same tone of determined displeasure, “and from you, my Lord Dalgarno, in particular, and all under the mask of friendship.”

“I've dealt with enough misunderstandings from all of you,” said Glenvarloch, with the same tone of firm annoyance, “especially from you, my Lord Dalgarno, all while pretending to be friends.”

“Here is a proper business!”—said Dalgarno, turning as if to appeal to Sir Ewes Haldimund; “do you see this angry ruffler, Sir Ewes? A month since, he dared not have looked one of yonder sheep in the face, and now he is a prince of roisterers, a plucker of pigeons, a controller of players and poets—and in gratitude for my having shown him the way to the eminent character which he holds upon town, he comes hither to quarrel with his best friend, if not his only one of decent station.”

“Here’s a real business!”—Dalgarno said, turning as if to appeal to Sir Ewes Haldimund; “Do you see this angry thug, Sir Ewes? A month ago, he wouldn’t have even dared to look one of those sheep in the face, and now he’s a king of partiers, a scammer of the gullible, a manipulator of actors and poets—and in return for me showing him the path to the prominent status he now holds in town, he comes here to pick a fight with his best friend, if not his only decent friend.”

“I renounce such hollow friendship, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “I disclaim the character which, even to my very face, you labour to fix upon me, and ere we part I will call you to a reckoning for it.”

“I reject such empty friendship, my lord,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “I deny the label that you are trying to place on me, even to my face, and before we part, I will hold you accountable for it.”

“My lords both,” interrupted Sir Ewes Haldimund, “let me remind you that the Royal Park is no place to quarrel in.”

“My lords,” interrupted Sir Ewes Haldimund, “let me remind you that the Royal Park is not the right place to argue.”

“I will make my quarrel good,” said Nigel, who did not know, or in his passion might not have recollected, the privileges of the place, “wherever I find my enemy.”

“I will make my case right,” said Nigel, who didn’t know, or in his anger might not have remembered, the rules of the place, “wherever I find my foe.”

“You shall find quarelling enough,” replied Lord Dalgarno, calmly, “so soon as you assign a sufficient cause for it. Sir Ewes Haldimund, who knows the Court, will warrant you that I am not backward on such occasions.—But of what is it that you now complain, after having experienced nothing save kindness from me and my family?”

“You’ll find plenty to argue about,” replied Lord Dalgarno, calmly, “as soon as you give a good reason for it. Sir Ewes Haldimund, who knows the Court, will assure you that I’m not shy about such things.—But what are you complaining about now, after receiving nothing but kindness from me and my family?”

“Of your family I complain not,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “they have done for me all they could, more, far more, than I could have expected; but you, my lord, have suffered me, while you called me your friend, to be traduced, where a word of your mouth would have placed my character in its true colours—and hence the injurious message which I just now received from the Prince of Wales. To permit the misrepresentation of a friend, my lord, is to share in the slander.”

“I'm not complaining about your family,” replied Lord Glenvarloch. “They’ve done everything they could for me, way more than I ever expected; but you, my lord, allowed me to be slandered while you called me your friend, when just a word from you could have cleared my name. This is why I just received that hurtful message from the Prince of Wales. Allowing a friend to be misrepresented, my lord, is to take part in the slander.”

“You have been misinformed, my Lord Glenvarloch,” said Sir Ewes Haldimund; “I have myself often heard Lord Dalgarno defend your character, and regret that your exclusive attachment to the pleasures of a London life prevented your paying your duty regularly to the King and Prince.”

“You’ve gotten the wrong idea, my Lord Glenvarloch,” said Sir Ewes Haldimund; “I’ve often heard Lord Dalgarno speak highly of you and lament that your sole focus on enjoying life in London kept you from fulfilling your obligations to the King and Prince.”

“While he himself,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “dissuaded me from presenting myself at Court.”

“While he himself,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “talked me out of showing up at Court.”

“I will cut this matter short,” said Lord Dalgarno, with haughty coldness. “You seem to have conceived, my lord, that you and I were Pylades and Orestes—a second edition of Damon and Pythias—Theseus and Pirithoiis at the least. You are mistaken, and have given the name of friendship to what, on my part, was mere good-nature and compassion for a raw and ignorant countryman, joined to the cumbersome charge which my father gave me respecting you. Your character, my lord, is of no one's drawing, but of your own making. I introduced you where, as in all such places, there was good and indifferent company to be met with—your habits, or taste, made you prefer the worse. Your holy horror at the sight of dice and cards degenerated into the cautious resolution to play only at those times, and with such persons, as might ensure your rising a winner—no man can long do so, and continue to be held a gentleman. Such is the reputation you have made for yourself, and you have no right to be angry that I do not contradict in society what yourself know to be true. Let us pass on, my lord; and if you want further explanation, seek some other time and fitter place.”

“I'll keep this short,” said Lord Dalgarno, with a haughty coldness. “You seem to think, my lord, that you and I are like Pylades and Orestes—a modern version of Damon and Pythias—or at least like Theseus and Pirithous. You’re mistaken, and you’ve misnamed friendship for what was just my kindness and compassion for an inexperienced and naive countryman, along with the awkward obligation my father put on me regarding you. Your character is shaped by you, not anyone else. I introduced you to places where, as is often the case, there’s a mix of good and bad company—you chose to associate with the latter. Your strong aversion to dice and cards turned into a cautious decision to only play under conditions that would guarantee your winning—no one can do that for long and still be considered a gentleman. That’s the reputation you’ve earned, and you have no right to be upset that I won’t contradict in public what you know to be true. Let’s move on, my lord; if you want more clarification, seek it another time and in a better setting.”

“No time can be better than the present,” said Lord Glenvarloch, whose resentment was now excited to the uttermost by the cold-blooded and insulting manner, in which Dalgarno vindicated himself,—“no place fitter than the place where we now stand. Those of my house have ever avenged insult, at the moment, and on the spot, where it was offered, were it at the foot of the throne.—Lord Dalgarno, you are a villain! draw and defend yourself.” At the same moment he unsheathed his rapier.

“No time is better than now,” said Lord Glenvarloch, whose anger was pushed to the limit by the cold and insulting way Dalgarno justified himself. “No place is more appropriate than right where we are. My family has always taken revenge for insults at the very moment and in the very place they occurred, even if it were at the foot of the throne. Lord Dalgarno, you are a scoundrel! Draw your sword and defend yourself.” At that moment, he unsheathed his rapier.

“Are you mad?” said Lord Dalgarno, stepping back; “we are in the precincts of the Court.”

“Are you crazy?” said Lord Dalgarno, stepping back; “we're in the Court's territory.”

“The better,” answered Lord Glenvarloch; “I will cleanse them from a calumniator and a coward.” He then pressed on Lord Dalgarno, and struck him with the flat of the sword.

“The better,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “I will rid them of a slanderer and a coward.” He then advanced on Lord Dalgarno and struck him with the flat side of his sword.

The fray had now attracted attention, and the cry went round, “Keep the peace—keep the peace—swords drawn in the Park!—What, ho! guards!—keepers—yeomen—rangers!” and a number of people came rushing to the spot from all sides.

The fight had now caught people's attention, and the shout went out, “Maintain the peace—maintain the peace—swords drawn in the Park!—Hey! Guards!—Keepers—Yeomen—Rangers!” and a crowd of people rushed to the scene from all directions.

Lord Dalgarno, who had half drawn his sword on receiving the blow, returned it to his scabbard when he observed the crowd thicken, and, taking Sir Ewes Haldimund by the arm, walked hastily away, only saying to Lord Glenvarloch as they left him, “You shall dearly abye this insult—we will meet again.”

Lord Dalgarno, who had half-drawn his sword after getting hit, sheathed it when he saw the crowd getting bigger. He took Sir Ewes Haldimund by the arm and quickly walked away, only saying to Lord Glenvarloch as they left him, “You will pay dearly for this insult—we will meet again.”

A decent-looking elderly man, who observed that Lord Glenvarloch remained on the spot, taking compassion on his youthful appearance, said to him, “Are you aware that this is a Star-Chamber business, young gentleman, and that it may cost you your right hand?—Shift for yourself before the keepers or constables come up—Get into Whitefriars or somewhere, for sanctuary and concealment, till you can make friends or quit the city.”

A decent-looking older man, seeing that Lord Glenvarloch was still there and feeling sorry for his young appearance, said to him, “Do you know this is a Star-Chamber matter, young man, and it could cost you your right hand?—Take care of yourself before the guards or constables arrive—Get to Whitefriars or somewhere else for refuge and to hide until you can find allies or leave the city.”

The advice was not to be neglected. Lord Glenvarloch made hastily towards the issue from the Park by Saint James's Palace, then Saint James's Hospital. The hubbub increased behind him; and several peace-officers of the Royal Household came up to apprehend the delinquent. Fortunately for Nigel, a popular edition of the cause of the affray had gone abroad. It was said that one of the Duke of Buckingham's companions had insulted a stranger gentleman from the country, and that the stranger had cudgelled him soundly. A favourite, or the companion of a favourite, is always odious to John Bull, who has, besides, a partiality to those disputants who proceed, as lawyers term it, par wye du fait, and both prejudices were in Nigel's favour. The officers, therefore, who came to apprehend him, could learn from the spectators no particulars of his appearance, or information concerning the road he had taken; so that, for the moment, he escaped being arrested.

The advice should not be ignored. Lord Glenvarloch hurried toward the exit from the Park near Saint James's Palace, then Saint James's Hospital. The noise grew louder behind him, and several peace officers from the Royal Household approached to catch the wrongdoer. Luckily for Nigel, a popular version of the story behind the brawl had spread. It was said that one of the Duke of Buckingham's friends had insulted an outsider from the countryside, and that the outsider had beaten him up. A favorite, or the friend of a favorite, is always despised by the common people, who also tend to favor those involved in disputes that seem just, and both biases worked in Nigel's favor. Therefore, the officers who came to arrest him couldn't get any details about his appearance or the path he had taken from the onlookers, which allowed him to escape arrest for the moment.

What Lord Glenvarloch heard among the crowd as he passed along, was sufficient to satisfy him, that in his impatient passion he had placed himself in a predicament of considerable danger. He was no stranger to the severe and arbitrary proceedings of the Court of Star-Chamber, especially in cases of breach of privilege, which made it the terror of all men; and it was no farther back than the Queen's time that the punishment of mutilation had been actually awarded and executed, for some offence of the same kind which he had just committed. He had also the comfortable reflection, that, by his violent quarrel with Lord Dalgarno, he must now forfeit the friendship and good offices of that nobleman's father and sister, almost the only persons of consideration in whom he could claim any interest; while all the evil reports which had been put in circulation concerning his character, were certain to weigh heavily against him, in a case where much must necessarily depend on the reputation of the accused. To a youthful imagination, the idea of such a punishment as mutilation seems more ghastly than death itself; and every word which he overheard among the groups which he met, mingled with, or overtook and passed, announced this as the penalty of his offence. He dreaded to increase his pace for fear of attracting suspicion, and more than once saw the ranger's officers so near him, that his wrist tingled as if already under the blade of the dismembering knife. At length he got out of the Park, and had a little more leisure to consider what he was next to do.

What Lord Glenvarloch heard from the crowd as he walked through was enough to make him realize that, in his impulsive anger, he had put himself in a pretty dangerous situation. He was well aware of the harsh and arbitrary actions of the Court of Star-Chamber, especially when it came to violations of privilege, which made it terrifying for everyone. Not long ago, during the Queen's reign, a punishment like mutilation had actually been carried out for an offense similar to the one he just committed. He also faced the unpleasant fact that, due to his violent dispute with Lord Dalgarno, he would lose the support and friendship of that nobleman's father and sister, who were nearly the only influential people he could rely on; meanwhile, all the negative rumors about his character would surely work against him in a situation where much depended on the accused's reputation. For a young person, the thought of a punishment like mutilation feels more horrific than death itself, and every word he overheard from the groups he passed or mingled with hinted that this would be the consequence of his actions. He was afraid to quicken his pace for fear of drawing attention, and more than once, he spotted the ranger's officers so close that his wrist tingled as if he were already about to feel the sharpness of the dismembering knife. Eventually, he made it out of the Park and had a bit more time to think about what he should do next.

Whitefriars, adjacent to the Temple, then well known by the cant name of Alsatia, had at this time, and for nearly a century afterwards, the privilege of a sanctuary, unless against the writ of the Lord Chief Justice, or of the Lords of the Privy-Council. Indeed, as the place abounded with desperadoes of every description,—bankrupt citizens, ruined gamesters, irreclaimable prodigals, desperate duellists, bravoes, homicides, and debauched profligates of every description, all leagued together to maintain the immunities of their asylum,—it was both difficult and unsafe for the officers of the law to execute warrants emanating even from the highest authority, amongst men whose safety was inconsistent with warrants or authority of any kind. This Lord Glenvarloch well knew; and odious as the place of refuge was, it seemed the only one where, for a space at least, he might be concealed and secure from the immediate grasp of the law, until he should have leisure to provide better for his safety, or to get this unpleasant matter in some shape accommodated.

Whitefriars, next to the Temple and commonly known as Alsatia, had at this time, and for nearly a century afterwards, the right to offer sanctuary, unless against the orders of the Lord Chief Justice or the Lords of the Privy Council. In fact, since the place was filled with all sorts of outlaws—bankrupt citizens, ruined gamblers, hopeless spendthrifts, desperate duelists, hired thugs, murderers, and corrupt individuals of every kind, all joined together to protect the privileges of their hideout—it was both challenging and dangerous for law enforcement to carry out warrants even from the highest authorities in a place where their safety depended on ignoring any warrants or authority. Lord Glenvarloch was well aware of this, and despite how unpleasant the refuge was, it seemed like the only place where he could hide and be safe from the law’s immediate reach until he could figure out a better plan for his safety or resolve this uncomfortable situation in some way.

Meanwhile, as Nigel walked hastily forward towards the place of sanctuary, he bitterly blamed himself for suffering Lord Dalgarno to lead him into the haunts of dissipation; and no less accused his intemperate heat of passion, which now had driven him for refuge into the purlieus of profane and avowed vice and debauchery.

Meanwhile, as Nigel hurried toward the safe place, he harshly criticized himself for allowing Lord Dalgarno to pull him into the world of excess; he also cursed his reckless passion, which had now pushed him into the areas known for open vice and debauchery.

“Dalgarno spoke but too truly in that,” were his bitter reflections; “I have made myself an evil reputation by acting on his insidious counsels, and neglecting the wholesome admonitions which ought to have claimed implicit obedience from me, and which recommended abstinence even from the slightest approach of evil. But if I escape from the perilous labyrinth in which folly and inexperience, as well as violent passions, have involved me, I will find some noble way of redeeming the lustre of a name which was never sullied until I bore it.”

“Dalgarno was right about that,” he thought bitterly. “I’ve built a terrible reputation by following his deceitful advice and ignoring the sensible warnings that should have had my complete obedience, which suggested avoiding even the slightest hint of wrongdoing. But if I can find my way out of this dangerous maze created by foolishness, inexperience, and overwhelming emotions, I’ll discover a noble path to restore the shine of a name that was never tarnished until I carried it.”

As Lord Glenvarloch formed these prudent resolutions, he entered the Temple Walks, whence a gate at that time opened into Whitefriars, by which, as by the more private passage, he proposed to betake himself to the sanctuary. As he approached the entrance to that den of infamy, from which his mind recoiled even while in the act of taking shelter there, his pace slackened, while the steep and broken stairs reminded him of the facilis descensus Averni, and rendered him doubtful whether it were not better to brave the worst which could befall him in the public haunts of honourable men, than to evade punishment by secluding himself in those of avowed vice and profligacy.

As Lord Glenvarloch made these sensible decisions, he walked into the Temple Walks, where a gate at that time opened into Whitefriars. Through this less public way, he planned to go to the sanctuary. As he got closer to the entrance of that place of shame, which he found repulsive even while seeking refuge there, he slowed down. The steep and worn stairs reminded him of the easy descent into hell, and he began to wonder if it wouldn’t be better to face whatever might happen in the public places of respectable people than to avoid punishment by hiding in those of open wrongdoing and corruption.

As Nigel hesitated, a young gentleman of the Temple advanced towards him, whom he had often seen, and sometimes conversed with, at the ordinary, where he was a frequent and welcome guest, being a wild young gallant, indifferently well provided with money, who spent at the theatres and other gay places of public resort, the time which his father supposed he was employing in the study of the law. But Reginald Lowestoffe, such was the young Templar's name, was of opinion that little law was necessary to enable him to spend the revenues of the paternal acres which were to devolve upon him at his father's demose, and therefore gave himself no trouble to acquire more of that science than might be imbibed along with the learned air of the region in which he had his chambers. In other respects, he was one of the wits of the place, read Ovid and Martial, aimed at quick repartee and pun, (often very far fetched,) danced, fenced, played at tennis, and performed sundry tunes on the fiddle and French horn, to the great annoyance of old Counsellor Barratter, who lived in the chambers immediately below him. Such was Reginald Lowes-toffe, shrewd, alert, and well-acquainted with the town through all its recesses, but in a sort of disrespectable way. This gallant, now approaching the Lord Glenvarloch, saluted him by name and title, and asked if his lordship designed for the Chevalier's this day, observing it was near noon, and the woodcock would be on the board before they could reach the ordinary.

As Nigel hesitated, a young man from the Temple came up to him. He had seen him often and even talked to him sometimes at the dining hall, where he was a regular and welcome guest, being a carefree young man with just enough money. He spent his time at theaters and other lively places instead of focusing on law, as his father believed he was doing. Reginald Lowestoffe, which was the young Templar's name, thought that he didn’t need much legal knowledge to enjoy the inheritance of his father’s land later on, so he didn’t bother to learn more than what he picked up from the atmosphere in his shared living space. In other ways, he was one of the clever ones around, reading Ovid and Martial, known for his witty comebacks and puns (often quite elaborate), dancing, fencing, playing tennis, and performing various tunes on the fiddle and French horn, much to the annoyance of old Counselor Barratter, who lived right below him. This was Reginald Lowestoffe, sharp, lively, and familiar with the town in a less-than-respectable manner. As he approached Lord Glenvarloch, he greeted him by name and title, asking if his lordship planned to go to the Chevalier's that day, noting that it was almost noon and the woodcock would be served by the time they made it to the dining hall.

“I do not go there to-day,” answered Lord Glenvarloch. “Which way, then, my lord?” said the young Templar, who was perhaps not undesirous to parade a part at least of the street in company with a lord, though but a Scottish one.

“I’m not going there today,” replied Lord Glenvarloch. “Which way are you headed, then, my lord?” asked the young Templar, who probably didn’t mind showing off at least part of the street alongside a lord, even if he was just a Scottish one.

“I—I—” said Nigel, desiring to avail himself of this young man's local knowledge, yet unwilling and ashamed to acknowledge his intention to take refuge in so disreputable a quarter, or to describe the situation in which he stood—“I have some curiosity to see Whitefriars.”

“I—I—” said Nigel, wanting to take advantage of this young man's local knowledge, but feeling hesitant and embarrassed to admit his intention to seek shelter in such a questionable area or to explain his situation—“I’m a bit curious to see Whitefriars.”

“What! your lordship is for a frolic into Alsatia?” said Lowestoffe-“-Have with you, my lord—you cannot have a better guide to the infernal regions than myself. I promise you there are bona-robas to be found there—good wine too, ay, and good fellows to drink it with, though somewhat suffering under the frowns of Fortune. But your lordship will pardon me—you are the last of our acquaintance to whom I would have proposed such a voyage of discovery.”

“What! You want to take a trip to Alsatia?” said Lowestoffe. “Come on, my lord—you couldn’t have a better guide to those wild places than me. I promise you there are some real gems to be found there—good wine too, and nice people to drink it with, even if they’re a bit down on their luck. But I must say, my lord, you’re the last person I would’ve suggested such an adventure to.”

“I am obliged to you, Master Lowestoffe, for the good opinion you have expressed in the observation,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but my present circumstances may render even a residence of a day or two in the sanctuary a matter of necessity.”

“I really appreciate your good opinion, Master Lowestoffe,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “but given my current situation, even spending just a day or two in the sanctuary might be necessary.”

“Indeed!” said Lowestoffe, in a tone of great surprise; “I thought your lordship had always taken care not to risk any considerable stake—I beg pardon, but if the bones have proved perfidious, I know just so much law as that a peer's person is sacred from arrest; and for mere impecuniosity, my lord, better shift can be made elsewhere than in Whitefriars, where all are devouring each other for very poverty.”

“Really!” said Lowestoffe, sounding really surprised. “I thought you always made sure not to gamble anything too big. Excuse me, but if the dice have betrayed you, I know enough about the law to say that a peer can’t be arrested; and for just being broke, my lord, there are better places to handle that than in Whitefriars, where everyone is struggling and desperate.”

“My misfortune has no connexion with want of money,” said Nigel.

“My misfortune has nothing to do with not having money,” said Nigel.

“Why, then, I suppose,” said Lowestoffe, “you have been tilting, my lord, and have pinked your man; in which case, and with a purse reasonably furnished, you may lie perdu in Whitefriars for a twelvemonth—Marry, but you must be entered and received as a member of their worshipful society, my lord, and a frank burgher of Alsatia—so far you must condescend; there will be neither peace nor safety for you else.”

“Why do I think,” said Lowestoffe, “that you’ve been in a duel, my lord, and ended up wounding your opponent? If that’s the case, and with a decent amount of money, you could hide out in Whitefriars for a year—But you’ll need to become a member of their respectable society, my lord, and a recognized citizen of Alsatia—you’ll have to agree to that; otherwise, you won’t find any peace or safety.”

“My fault is not in a degree so deadly, Master Lowestoffe,” answered Lord Glenvarloch, “as you seem to conjecture—I have stricken a gentleman in the Park, that is all.”

“My mistake isn't as serious as you seem to think, Master Lowestoffe,” replied Lord Glenvarloch, “I've just hit a gentleman in the Park, that's all.”

“By my hand, my lord, and you had better have struck your sword through him at Barns Elms,” said the Templar. “Strike within the verge of the Court! You will find that a weighty dependence upon your hands, especially if your party be of rank and have favour.”

“By my hand, my lord, you should have just stabbed him at Barns Elms,” said the Templar. “Strike within the boundaries of the Court! You’ll see that’s a heavy responsibility on your hands, especially if your group has rank and favor.”

“I will be plain with you, Master Lowestoffe,” said Nigel, “since I have gone thus far. The person I struck was Lord Dalgarno, whom you have seen at Beaujeu's.”

“I’ll be straight with you, Master Lowestoffe,” said Nigel, “since I’ve come this far. The person I hit was Lord Dalgarno, who you’ve seen at Beaujeu's.”

“A follower and favourite of the Duke of Buckingham!—It is a most unhappy chance, my lord; but my heart was formed in England, and cannot bear to see a young nobleman borne down, as you are like to be. We converse here greatly too open for your circumstances. The Templars would suffer no bailiff to execute a writ, and no gentleman to be arrested for a duel, within their precincts; but in such a matter between Lord Dalgarno and your lordship, there might be a party on either side. You must away with me instantly to my poor chambers here, hard by, and undergo some little change of dress, ere you take sanctuary; for else you will have the whole rascal rout of the Friars about you, like crows upon a falcon that strays into their rookery. We must have you arrayed something more like the natives of Alsatia, or there will be no life there for you.”

“A follower and favorite of the Duke of Buckingham! — This is a terrible situation, my lord; but my heart was made in England, and I can’t bear to see a young nobleman brought down, as you are likely to be. We are talking here much too openly for your circumstances. The Templars would not allow any bailiff to carry out a writ, and no gentleman to be arrested for a duel, within their territory; but in a case like this between Lord Dalgarno and you, there could be supporters on both sides. You must come with me right away to my humble chambers nearby and change your clothes a bit before you seek refuge; otherwise, you’ll have the whole bunch of Friars around you, like crows on a falcon that strays into their nest. We need to dress you more like the locals of Alsatia, or there will be no safe ground for you there.”

While Lowestoffe spoke, he pulled Lord Glenvarloch along with him into his chambers, where he had a handsome library, filled with all the poems and play-books which were then in fashion. The Templar then dispatched a boy, who waited upon him, to procure a dish or two from the next cook's shop; “and this,” he said, “must be your lordship's dinner, with a glass of old sack, of which my grandmother (the heavens requite her!) sent me a dozen bottles, with charge to use the liquor only with clarified whey, when I felt my breast ache with over study. Marry, we will drink the good lady's health in it, if it is your lordship's pleasure, and you shall see how we poor students eke out our mutton-commons in the hall.”

While Lowestoffe talked, he pulled Lord Glenvarloch into his rooms, where he had a nice library filled with all the poems and plays that were popular at the time. The Templar then sent a boy who worked for him to get a dish or two from the nearest cook's shop; “and this,” he said, “will be your lordship's dinner, along with a glass of old sack, of which my grandmother (may she rest in peace!) sent me a dozen bottles, with instructions to use the liquor only with clarified whey when I felt my chest hurt from too much studying. Well, we can toast to the good lady's health in it, if that pleases your lordship, and you’ll see how we poor students make do with our mutton rations in the hall.”

The outward door of the chambers was barred so soon as the boy had re-entered with the food; the boy was ordered to keep close watch, and admit no one; and Lowestoffe, by example and precept, pressed his noble guest to partake of his hospitality. His frank and forward manners, though much differing from the courtly ease of Lord Dalgarno, were calculated to make a favourable impression; and Lord Glenvarloch, though his experience of Dalgarno's perfidy had taught him to be cautious of reposing faith in friendly professions, could not avoid testifying his gratitude to the young Templar, who seemed so anxious for his safety and accommodation.

The outer door of the rooms was locked as soon as the boy came back with the food; he was told to keep a close eye out and let no one in. Lowestoffe, through both action and words, encouraged his noble guest to enjoy his hospitality. His straightforward and confident manner, while very different from Lord Dalgarno's polished charm, was likely to make a good impression. Although Lord Glenvarloch, having learned from his experience with Dalgarno's treachery to be careful about trusting friendly claims, couldn’t help but show his appreciation to the young Templar, who seemed genuinely concerned for his safety and comfort.

“You may spare your gratitude any great sense of obligation, my lord,” said the Templar. “No doubt I am willing to be of use to any gentleman that has cause to sing Fortune my foe, and particularly proud to serve your lordship's turn; but I have also an old grudge, to speak Heaven's truth, at your opposite, Lord Dalgarno.”

“You can skip the gratitude and sense of obligation, my lord,” said the Templar. “I’m more than happy to help any gentleman who has reason to sing Fortune my foe, and I’m especially proud to serve you; but I also have an old grudge, to tell the truth, against your rival, Lord Dalgarno.”

“May I ask on what account, Master Lowestoffe?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“Can I ask why, Master Lowestoffe?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“O, my lord,” replied the Templar, “it was for a hap that chanced after you left the ordinary, one evening about three weeks since—at least I think you were not by, as your lordship always left us before deep play began—I mean no offence, but such was your lordship's custom—when there were words between Lord Dalgarno and me concerning a certain game at gleek, and a certain mournival of aces held by his lordship, which went for eight—tib, which went for fifteen—twenty-three in all. Now I held king and queen, being three—a natural towser, making fifteen—and tiddy, nineteen. We vied the ruff, and revied, as your lordship may suppose, till the stake was equal to half my yearly exhibition, fifty as fair yellow canary birds as e'er chirped in the bottom of a green silk purse. Well, my lord, I gained the cards, and lo you! it pleases his lordship to say that we played without tiddy; and as the rest stood by and backed him, and especially the sharking Frenchman, why, I was obliged to lose more than I shall gain all the season.—So judge if I have not a crow to pluck with his lordship. Was it ever heard there was a game at gleek at the ordinary before, without counting tiddy?—marry quep upon his lordship!—Every man who comes there with his purse in his hand, is as free to make new laws as he, I hope, since touch pot touch penny makes every man equal.”

“Oh, my lord,” replied the Templar, “it was an incident that happened after you left the usual gathering, one evening about three weeks ago—at least I believe you weren’t around, as you always left us before the serious games started—I mean no offense, but that was your habit—when there was a disagreement between Lord Dalgarno and me regarding a certain game of gleek and a specific set of aces he had, which counted for eight—tib, which counted for fifteen—making a total of twenty-three. Now, I had king and queen, which is three—a natural towser, making fifteen—and tiddy, nineteen. We contested the ruff and revised, as you may imagine, until the stake matched half my annual earnings, fifty of the finest yellow canary birds that ever chirped in the bottom of a green silk purse. Well, my lord, I won the cards, and then, lo and behold! it pleased his lordship to claim that we played without tiddy; and since the others supported him, especially the cunning Frenchman, I was forced to lose more than I'll gain all season. So judge if I don’t have a bone to pick with his lordship. Has there ever been a game of gleek at the ordinary before without counting tiddy?—curse his lordship!—Every man who comes there with his purse in hand is as free to make new rules as he is, I hope, since touch pot touch penny makes everyone equal.”

As Master Lowestoffe ran over this jargon of the gaming-table, Lord Glenvarloch was both ashamed and mortified, and felt a severe pang of aristocratic pride, when he concluded in the sweeping clause that the dice, like the grave, levelled those distinguishing points of society, to which Nigel's early prejudices clung perhaps but too fondly. It was impossible, however, to object any thing to the learned reasoning of the young Templar, and therefore Nigel was contented to turn the conversation, by making some inquiries respecting the present state of White-friars. There also his host was at home.

As Master Lowestoffe went through the jargon of the gaming table, Lord Glenvarloch felt both ashamed and embarrassed, experiencing a sharp twinge of aristocratic pride when he heard the sweeping statement that the dice, like the grave, erased the distinctions of society, which Nigel's early biases clung to perhaps a bit too dearly. However, it was impossible to argue against the smart reasoning of the young Templar, so Nigel was satisfied to change the subject by asking about the current situation in Whitefriars. There, his host was also knowledgeable.

“You know, my lord,” said Master Lowestoffe, “that we Templars are a power and a dominion within ourselves, and I am proud to say that I hold some rank in our republic—was treasurer to the Lord of Misrule last year, and am at this present moment in nomination for that dignity myself. In such circumstances, we are under the necessity of maintaining an amicable intercourse with our neighbours of Alsatia, even as the Christian States find themselves often, in mere policy, obliged to make alliance with the Grand Turk, or the Barbary States.”

“You know, my lord,” said Master Lowestoffe, “that we Templars are a powerful and self-contained group, and I’m proud to say I hold some rank in our community—I was treasurer for the Lord of Misrule last year and am currently nominated for that position myself. Given these circumstances, we need to maintain friendly relations with our neighbors in Alsatia, just like the Christian nations often have to ally with the Grand Turk or the Barbary States for political reasons.”

“I should have imagined you gentlemen of the Temple more independent of your neighbours,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“I should have thought you guys at the Temple were more independent from your neighbors,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“You do us something too much honour, my lord,” said the Templar; “the Alsatians and we have some common enemies, and we have, under the rose, some common friends. We are in the use of blocking all bailiffs out of our bounds, and we are powerfully aided by our neighbours, who tolerate not a rag belonging to them within theirs. Moreover the Alsatians have—I beg you to understand me—the power of protecting or distressing our friends, male or female, who may be obliged to seek sanctuary within their bounds. In short, the two communities serve each other, though the league is between states of unequal quality, and I may myself say, that I have treated of sundry weighty affairs, and have been a negotiator well approved on both sides.—But hark—hark—what is that?”

“You give us too much credit, my lord,” said the Templar; “the Alsatians and we share some common enemies, and we also have some mutual friends, if you catch my drift. We have a habit of blocking all bailiffs from entering our territory, and we get strong support from our neighbors, who won’t allow even a scrap of their things within their area. Furthermore, the Alsatians have—please understand me—the ability to either protect or harm our friends, whether male or female, who may need to seek refuge within their territory. In short, the two communities help each other, although the alliance is between groups of different standing, and I can personally say that I have handled several important matters and have been a well-regarded negotiator on both sides.—But wait—wait—what's that?”

The sound by which Master Lowestoffe was interrupted, was that of a distant horn, winded loud and keenly, and followed by a faint and remote huzza.

The sound that interrupted Master Lowestoffe was a distant horn, blown loudly and sharply, followed by a faint and faraway cheer.

“There is something doing,” said Lowestoffe, “in the Whitefriars at this moment. That is the signal when their privileges are invaded by tipstaff or bailiff; and at the blast of the horn they all swarm out to the rescue, as bees when their hive is disturbed.—Jump, Jim,” he said, calling out to the attendant, “and see what they are doing in Alsatia.—That bastard of a boy,” he continued, as the lad, accustomed to the precipitate haste of his master, tumbled rather than ran out of the apartment, and so down stairs, “is worth gold in this quarter—he serves six masters—four of them in distinct Numbers, and you would think him present like a fairy at the mere wish of him that for the time most needs his attendance. No scout in Oxford, no gip in Cambridge, ever matched him in speed and intelligence. He knows the step of a dun from that of a client, when it reaches the very bottom of the staircase; can tell the trip of a pretty wench from the step of a bencher, when at the upper end of the court; and is, take him all in all—But I see your lordship is anxious—May I press another cup of my kind grandmother's cordial, or will you allow me to show you my wardrobe, and act as your valet or groom of the chamber?”

“There’s something going on,” said Lowestoffe, “in the Whitefriars right now. That’s the signal when their privileges are threatened by the tipstaff or bailiff; and at the sound of the horn, they all rush out to help, like bees when their hive is disturbed. —Jump, Jim,” he called to the attendant, “and see what’s happening in Alsatia. —That kid,” he continued, as the boy, used to his master’s frantic pace, stumbled rather than ran out of the room and down the stairs, “is worth his weight in gold around here—he serves six masters—four of them in different Numbers, and you’d think he was present at the mere wish of whoever needs him most at the time. No scout in Oxford, no gip in Cambridge, could match him in speed and savvy. He can tell the sound of a debtor’s footsteps from that of a client’s when they’re at the very bottom of the stairs; can distinguish the step of a pretty girl from that of a bencher when she’s at the top of the court; and is, all things considered—But I see you’re anxious, my lord—May I offer you another cup of my grandmother’s cordial, or would you like me to show you my wardrobe and act as your valet or chamber attendant?”

Lord Glenvarloch hesitated not to acknowledge that he was painfully sensible of his present situation, and anxious to do what must needs be done for his extrication.

Lord Glenvarloch didn't hesitate to admit that he was acutely aware of his current situation and eager to do what needed to be done to get himself out of it.

The good-natured and thoughtless young Templar readily acquiesced, and led the way into his little bedroom, where, from bandboxes, portmanteaus, mail-trunks, not forgetting an old walnut-tree wardrobe, he began to select the articles which he thought best suited effectually to disguise his guest in venturing into the lawless and turbulent society of Alsatia.

The easygoing and carefree young Templar quickly agreed and led the way into his small bedroom, where, from boxes, suitcases, and trunks, not to mention an old walnut wardrobe, he started picking out the items he thought would best help disguise his guest for a trip into the wild and tumultuous world of Alsatia.










CHAPTER XVII

 Come hither, young one,—Mark me! Thou art now
 'Mongst men o' the sword, that live by reputation
 More than by constant income—Single-suited
 They are, I grant you; yet each single suit
 Maintains, on the rough guess, a thousand followers—
 And they be men, who, hazarding their all,
 Needful apparel, necessary income,
 And human body, and immortal soul,
 Do in the very deed but hazard nothing— So strictly is that ALL bound in reversion;
 Clothes to the broker, income to the usurer,
 And body to disease, and soul to the foul fiend;
 Who laughs to see Soldadoes and Fooladoes,
 Play better than himself his game on earth.
                                        The Mohocks.
Come here, young one—Listen up! You are now among the sword-wielding men who live more for their reputation than for a steady income. I admit, they are single-minded in their approach; however, each of them probably has around a thousand followers. These are men who risk everything—their needed clothes, their essential income, their physical bodies, and their immortal souls. In reality, they don't risk anything at all—everything is locked away for later; clothes to the broker, income to the moneylender, bodies to disease, and souls to the devil. He laughs to see soldiers and fools playing their game on earth better than he does.                                            
The Mohocks.

“Your lordship,” said Reginald Lowestoffe, “must be content to exchange your decent and court-beseeming rapier, which I will retain in safe keeping, for this broadsword, with an hundredweight of rusty iron about the hilt, and to wear these huge-paned slops, instead of your civil and moderate hose. We allow no cloak, for your ruffian always walks in cuerpo; and the tarnished doublet of bald velvet, with its discoloured embroidery, and—I grieve to speak it—a few stains from the blood of the grape, will best suit the garb of a roaring boy. I will leave you to change your suit for an instant, till I can help to truss you.”

“Your lordship,” Reginald Lowestoffe said, “will have to settle for trading your nice rapier, which I'll keep safe, for this broadsword loaded down with rusty iron around the hilt, and wear these baggy pants instead of your nice, fitted hose. We don't allow a cloak, since your thug always walks around bare-chested; and the worn velvet doublet with its faded embroidery—and I hate to mention it—some stains from spilled wine, will suit the outfit of a rowdy guy best. I'll leave you to change your clothes for a moment while I help get you dressed.”

Lowestoffe retired, while slowly, and with hesitation, Nigel obeyed his instructions. He felt displeasure and disgust at the scoundrelly disguise which he was under the necessity of assuming; but when he considered the bloody consequences which law attached to his rash act of violence, the easy and indifferent temper of James, the prejudices of his son, the overbearing influence of the Duke of Buckingham, which was sure to be thrown into the scale against him; and, above all, when he reflected that he must now look upon the active, assiduous, and insinuating Lord Dalgarno, as a bitter enemy, reason told him he was in a situation of peril which authorised all honest means, even the most unseemly in outward appearance, to extricate himself from so dangerous a predicament.

Lowestoffe stepped back, while Nigel reluctantly and slowly followed his instructions. He felt unhappy and disgusted by the deceitful disguise he had to wear; but when he thought about the serious consequences the law would impose for his reckless act of violence, the easygoing attitude of James, the biases of his son, the overpowering influence of the Duke of Buckingham that would undoubtedly work against him; and, most importantly, when he considered that he now had to regard the active, diligent, and scheming Lord Dalgarno as a serious enemy, he realized he was in a dangerous situation that justified any honest means—even those that seemed the most morally questionable—to get himself out of such a risky predicament.

While he was changing his dress, and musing on these particulars, his friendly host re-entered the sleeping apartment—“Zounds!” he said, “my lord, it was well you went not straight into that same Alsatia of ours at the time you proposed, for the hawks have stooped upon it. Here is Jem come back with tidings, that he saw a pursuivant there with a privy-council warrant, and half a score of yeomen assistants, armed to the teeth, and the horn which we heard was sounded to call out the posse of the Friars. Indeed, when old Duke Hildebrod saw that the quest was after some one of whom he knew nothing, he permitted, out of courtesy, the man-catcher to search through his dominions, quite certain that they would take little by their motions; for Duke Hildebrod is a most judicious potentate.—Go back, you bastard, and bring us word when all is quiet.”

While he was changing clothes and thinking about these details, his friendly host came back into the sleeping room. “Wow!” he said, “my lord, it’s a good thing you didn’t head straight into our Alsatia when you planned to, because the hawks have swooped down on it. Jem just returned with news that he saw an officer there with a warrant from the privy council, along with a bunch of armed assistants, and the horn we heard was blown to gather the posse of the Friars. In fact, when old Duke Hildebrod realized that the search was for someone he didn’t know, he kindly let the man-hunter search his territory, fully expecting they wouldn’t find much. Duke Hildebrod is a very wise ruler. —Go back, you scoundrel, and let us know when everything's calm.”

“And who may Duke Hildebrod be?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“And who is Duke Hildebrod?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“Nouns! my lord,” said the Templar, “have you lived so long on the town, and never heard of the valiant, and as wise and politic as valiant, Duke Hildebrod, grand protector of the liberties of Alsatia? I thought the man had never whirled a die but was familiar with his fame.”

“Nouns! My lord,” said the Templar, “have you lived in this town for so long and never heard of the brave and, as wise as he is brave, Duke Hildebrod, the great protector of the freedoms of Alsatia? I thought everyone knew about his reputation.”

“Yet I have never heard of him, Master Lowestoffe,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “or, what is the same thing, I have paid no attention to aught that may have passed in conversation respecting him.”

“Yet I have never heard of him, Master Lowestoffe,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “or, to put it another way, I haven’t really paid attention to anything that might have been said about him in conversation.”

“Why, then,” said Lowestoffe—“but, first, let me have the honour of trussing you. Now, observe, I have left several of the points untied, of set purpose; and if it please you to let a small portion of your shirt be seen betwixt your doublet and the band of your upper stock, it will have so much the more rakish effect, and will attract you respect in Alsatia, where linen is something scarce. Now, I tie some of the points carefully asquint, for your ruffianly gallant never appears too accurately trussed—so.”

“Why, then,” said Lowestoffe, “but first, let me have the honor of getting you dressed. Now, notice that I’ve left several of the ties undone on purpose. If you allow a small part of your shirt to show between your doublet and the band of your upper stock, it’ll create a more rebellious look and earn you respect in Alsatia, where linen is a bit rare. Now, I’ll tie some of the points a bit off-kilter, since your rough-around-the-edges gentleman never looks too perfectly dressed—there you go.”

“Arrange it as you will, sir,” said Nigel; “but let me hear at least something of the conditions of the unhappy district into which, with other wretches, I am compelled to retreat.”

“Do whatever you want, sir,” said Nigel; “but at least let me know something about the situation in the unfortunate area that I, along with others like me, have to escape to.”

“Why, my lord,” replied the Templar, “our neighbouring state of Alsatia, which the law calls the Sanctuary of White-friars, has had its mutations and revolutions like greater kingdoms; and, being in some sort a lawless, arbitrary government, it follows, of course, that these have been more frequent than our own better regulated commonwealth of the Templars, that of Gray's Inn, and other similar associations, have had the fortune to witness. Our traditions and records speak of twenty revolutions within the last twelve years, in which the aforesaid state has repeatedly changed from absolute despotism to republicanism, not forgetting the intermediate stages of oligarchy, limited monarchy, and even gynocracy; for I myself remember Alsatia governed for nearly nine months by an old fish-woman. 'I hen it fell under the dominion of a broken attorney, who was dethroned by a reformado captain, who, proving tyrannical, was deposed by a hedgeparson, who was succeeded, upon resignation of his power, by Duke Jacob Hildebrod, of that name the first, whom Heaven long preserve.”

"Why, my lord," replied the Templar, "our neighboring state of Alsatia, which the law calls the Sanctuary of White-friars, has seen its share of changes and upheavals like larger kingdoms. Because it operates in a somewhat lawless and arbitrary manner, these changes have happened more often than in our more orderly community of the Templars, Gray's Inn, and other similar groups. Our records note twenty revolutions in just the last twelve years, during which Alsatia has shifted from absolute rule to republic, while also experiencing interim forms of oligarchy, limited monarchy, and even rule by women; I personally recall Alsatia being led for nearly nine months by an old fishmonger. Then it was taken over by a disgraced lawyer, who was overthrown by a retired captain, who then became a tyrant and was replaced by a hedge parson, who was followed, after he stepped down, by Duke Jacob Hildebrod, the first of that name, whom Heaven long preserve."

“And is this potentate's government,” said Lord Glenvarloch, forcing himself to take some interest in the conversation, “of a despotic character?”

“And is this ruler's government,” said Lord Glenvarloch, pushing himself to engage in the conversation, “of a tyrannical nature?”

“Pardon me, my lord,” said the Templar; “this said sovereign is too wise to incur, like many of his predecessors, the odium of wielding so important an authority by his own sole will. He has established a council of state, who regularly meet for their morning's draught at seven o'clock; convene a second time at eleven for their ante-meridiem, or whet; and, assembling in solemn conclave at the hour of two afternoon, for the purpose of consulting for the good of the commonwealth, are so prodigal of their labour in the service of the state, that they seldom separate before midnight. Into this worthy senate, composed partly of Duke Hildebrod's predecessors in his high office, whom he has associated with him to prevent the envy attending sovereign and sole authority, I must presently introduce your lordship, that they may admit you to the immunities of the Friars, and assign you a place of residence.”

“Excuse me, my lord,” the Templar said; “this sovereign is too smart to risk, like many of his predecessors, the resentment of having such an important authority based solely on his own decisions. He has set up a council of state, who regularly meet for their morning drink at seven o'clock; gather again at eleven for their ante-meridiem, or snack; and convene in a formal meeting at two in the afternoon to discuss the welfare of the commonwealth. They are so dedicated to their work for the state that they rarely finish before midnight. I must introduce your lordship to this esteemed senate, partly made up of Duke Hildebrod's predecessors in his high office, whom he has included to prevent the jealousy that comes with sole authority, so they can grant you the privileges of the Friars and assign you a place to stay.”

“Does their authority extend to such regulation?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“Does their authority go that far in regulation?” asked Lord Glenvarloch.

“The council account it a main point of their privileges, my lord,” answered Lowestoffe; “and, in fact, it is one of the most powerful means by which they support their authority. For when Duke Ilildebrod and his senate find a topping householder in the Friars becomes discontented and factious, it is but assigning him, for a lodger, some fat bankrupt, or new lesidenter, whose circumstances require refuge, and whose purse can pay for it, and the malecontent becomes as tractable as a lamb. As for the poorer refugees, they let them shift as they can; but the registration of their names in the Duke's entry-book, and the payment of garnish conforming to their circumstances, is never dispensed with; and the Friars would be a very unsafe residence for the stranger who should dispute these points of jurisdiction.”

“The council sees it as a key part of their privileges, my lord,” answered Lowestoffe; “and, actually, it’s one of the strongest ways they maintain their power. When Duke Ilildebrod and his senate notice that an influential homeowner in the Friars is becoming unhappy and rebellious, they simply assign him a tenant, like some wealthy bankrupt or new resident, whose situation calls for a place to stay, and whose finances are sufficient to cover it, and the discontented homeowner becomes as manageable as a lamb. As for the poorer refugees, they let them fend for themselves; however, the registration of their names in the Duke's record book and the payment of fees based on their situation is always required; and the Friars would be a very unsafe place for anyone who tries to challenge these issues of authority.”

“Well, Master Lowestoffe,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I must be controlled by the circumstances which dictate to me this state of concealment—of course, I am desirous not to betray my name and rank.”

“Well, Master Lowestoffe,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I have to go along with the circumstances that require me to stay hidden—naturally, I want to avoid revealing my name and status.”

“It will be highly advisable, my lord,” said Lowestoffe; “and is a case thus provided for in the statutes of the republic, or monarchy, or whatsoever you call it.—He who desires that no questions shall be asked him concerning his name, cause of refuge, and the like, may escape the usual interrogations upon payment of double the garnish otherwise belonging to his condition. Complying with this essential stipulation, your lordship may register yourself as King of Bantam if you will, for not a question will be asked of you.—But here comes our scout, with news of peace and tranquillity. Now, I will go with your lordship myself, and present you to the council of Alsatia, with all the influence which I have over them as an office-bearer in the Temple, which is not slight; for they have come halting off upon all occasions when we have taken part against them, and that they well know. The time is propitious, for as the council is now met in Alsatia, so the Temple walks are quiet. Now, my lord, throw your cloak about you, to hide your present exterior. You shall give it to the boy at the foot of the stairs that go down to the Sanctuary; and as the ballad says that Queen Eleanor sunk at Charing Cross and rose at Queenhithe, so you shall sink a nobleman in the Temple Gardens, and rise an Alsatian at Whitefriars.”

“It would be a good idea, my lord,” said Lowestoffe, “and it's covered in the laws of the republic, or monarchy, or whatever you want to call it. Anyone who wants to avoid questions about their name, reason for hiding, and so on, can skip the usual inquiries by paying double the usual fee for their status. If you follow this important condition, your lordship can register as King of Bantam if you choose, because no one will ask you anything. But here comes our scout with news of peace and calm. Now, I’ll go with you, my lord, and introduce you to the council of Alsatia, using all the influence I have as an office-holder in the Temple, which is considerable; because they have always hesitated when we’ve opposed them, and they know it well. The timing is right since the council is currently meeting in Alsatia while the Temple grounds are quiet. Now, my lord, wrap your cloak around you to hide your current appearance. You'll hand it to the boy at the bottom of the stairs leading down to the Sanctuary; and as the song says that Queen Eleanor sank at Charing Cross and rose at Queenhithe, so you shall appear as a nobleman in the Temple Gardens and emerge as an Alsatian at Whitefriars.”

They went out accordingly, attended by the little scout, traversed the gardens, descended the stairs, and at the bottom the young Templar exclaimed,—“And now let us sing, with Ovid,

They went out as planned, joined by the little scout, walked through the gardens, went down the stairs, and at the bottom, the young Templar exclaimed, “And now let’s sing, with Ovid,

     'In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas—'
'In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas—'

Off, off, ye lendings!” he continued, in the same vein. “Via, the curtain that shadowed Borgia!—But how now, my lord?” he continued, when he observed Lord Glenvarloch was really distressed at the degrading change in his situation, “I trust you are not offended at my rattling folly? I would but reconcile you to your present circumstances, and give you the tone of this strange place. Come, cheer up; I trust it will only be your residence for a very few days.”

"Get rid of those bad memories!" he continued, in the same spirit. "Oh, the curtain that hid Borgia!—But wait, my lord?" he said, noticing that Lord Glenvarloch was genuinely upset about the humiliating change in his situation. "I hope you’re not upset by my silly chatter? I just want to help you accept where you are and get a feel for this unusual place. Come on, cheer up; I believe you'll only be here for a few days."

Nigel was only able to press his hand, and reply in a whisper, “I am sensible of your kindness. I know I must drink the cup which my own folly has filled for me. Pardon me, that, at the first taste, I feel its bitterness.”

Nigel could only squeeze his hand and respond in a whisper, “I appreciate your kindness. I know I have to face the consequences of my own mistakes. Forgive me for feeling its bitterness right from the first sip.”

Reginald Lowestoffe was bustlingly officious and good-natured; but, used to live a scrambling, rakish course of life himself, he had not the least idea of the extent of Lord Glenvarloch's mental sufferings, and thought of his temporary concealment as if it were merely the trick of a wanton boy, who plays at hide-and-seek with his tutor. With the appearance of the place, too, he was familiar—but on his companion it produced a deep sensation.

Reginald Lowestoffe was bustlingly helpful and friendly; however, having lived a chaotic and reckless life himself, he had no idea of the depth of Lord Glenvarloch's mental anguish, viewing his temporary hiding as just a game played by a mischievous boy, like hide-and-seek with a tutor. He was also familiar with the surroundings, but they had a profound effect on his companion.

The ancient Sanctuary at Whitefriars lay considerably lower than the elevated terraces and gardens of the Temple, and was therefore generally involved in the damps and fogs arising from the Thames. The brick buildings by which it was occupied, crowded closely on each other, for, in a place so rarely privileged, every foot of ground was valuable; but, erected in many cases by persons whose funds were inadequate to their speculations, the houses were generally insufficient, and exhibited the lamentable signs of having become ruinous while they were yet new. The wailing of children, the scolding of their mothers, the miserable exhibition of ragged linens hung from the windows to dry, spoke the wants and distresses of the wretched inhabitants; while the sounds of complaint were mocked and overwhelmed in the riotous shouts, oaths, profane songs, and boisterous laughter, that issued from the alehouses and taverns, which, as the signs indicated, were equal in number to all the other houses; and, that the full character of the place might be evident, several faded, tinselled and painted females, looked boldly at the strangers from their open lattices, or more modestly seemed busied with the cracked flower-pots, filled with mignonette and rosemary, which were disposed in front of the windows, to the great risk of the passengers.

The old Sanctuary at Whitefriars was situated much lower than the raised terraces and gardens of the Temple, making it prone to the dampness and fog from the Thames. The brick buildings that filled the area were crammed together because, in such a rarely coveted location, every square foot of land was valuable. However, many of these buildings were put up by people who didn’t have enough money for their ambitions, resulting in homes that were generally inadequate and showed clear signs of deterioration even while they were still new. The cries of children, the nagging of their mothers, and the sad sight of tattered clothes hanging from the windows to dry revealed the struggles and suffering of the poor residents. At the same time, their complaints were drowned out by the loud cheers, curses, crude songs, and raucous laughter spilling from the pubs and taverns, which, according to the signs, were as numerous as all the other buildings. To further highlight the character of the place, several faded, sequined, and painted women stared boldly at passersby from their open windows or pretended to be busy with the chipped flowerpots filled with mignonette and rosemary, dangerously close to the street.

Semi-reducta Venus,” said the Templar, pointing to one of these nymphs, who seemed afraid of observation, and partly concealed herself behind the casement, as she chirped to a miserable blackbird, the tenant of a wicker prison, which hung outside on the black brick wall.—“I know the face of yonder waistcoateer,” continued the guide; “and I could wager a rose-noble, from the posture she stands in, that she has clean head-gear and a soiled night-rail.—But here come two of the male inhabitants, smoking like moving volcanoes! These are roaring blades, whom Nicotia and Trinidado serve, I dare swear, in lieu of beef and pudding; for be it known to you, my lord, that the king's counter-blast against the Indian weed will no more pass current in Alsatia than will his writ of capias.”

Semi-reducta Venus, said the Templar, pointing to one of these nymphs, who seemed shy and partly hid herself behind the window, as she chatted with a sad blackbird, the occupant of a wicker cage hanging outside on the dark brick wall. “I recognize the face of that guy in the waistcoat,” the guide went on; “and I’d bet a rose-noble, just from the way she stands, that she’s wearing clean undergarments and a dirty nightgown. But here come two of the local guys, smoking like active volcanoes! These are loud characters, who surely are served by Nicotia and Trinidado, instead of beef and pudding; for you should know, my lord, that the king's ban on tobacco won’t have any more effect in Alsatia than his writ of capias.”

As he spoke, the two smokers approached; shaggy, uncombed ruffians, whose enormous mustaches were turned back over their ears, and mingled with the wild elf-locks of their hair, much of which was seen under the old beavers which they wore aside upon their heads, while some straggling portion escaped through the rents of the hats aforesaid. Their tarnished plush jerkins, large slops, or trunk-breeches, their broad greasy shoulder-belts, and discoloured scarfs, and, above all, the ostentatious manner in which the one wore a broad-sword and the other an extravagantly long rapier and poniard, marked the true Alsatian bully, then, and for a hundred years afterwards, a well-known character.

As he talked, two smokers walked up; messy, unkempt guys with huge mustaches that curled back over their ears, blending with the wild tangles of their hair, a lot of which peeked out from under the old hats they wore tilted on their heads, while some straggly pieces escaped through holes in the hats. Their worn plush jackets, baggy trousers, wide, greasy shoulder belts, and faded sashes, along with the flashy way one wore a broad sword and the other an exaggeratedly long rapier and dagger, revealed the classic Alsatian tough guy, a well-known character back then and for a hundred years after.

“Tour out,” said the one ruffian to the other; “tour the bien mort twiring at the gentry cove!” [Footnote: Look sharp. See how the girl is coquetting with the strange gallants!]

“Turn out,” said one thug to the other; “check out the pretty girl flirting with those fancy guys!” [Footnote: Pay attention. See how the girl is flirting with the strange men!]

“I smell a spy,” replied the other, looking at Nigel. “Chalk him across the peepers with your cheery.” [Footnote: Slash him over the eyes with your dagger.]

“I smell a spy,” replied the other, looking at Nigel. “Slash him across the eyes with your dagger.”

“Bing avast, bing avast!” replied his companion; “yon other is rattling Reginald Lowestoffe of the Temple—I know him; he is a good boy, and free of the province.”

“Bing, hold on, bing, hold on!” replied his friend; “that other guy is Reginald Lowestoffe from the Temple—I know him; he’s a good kid and a local.”

So saying, and enveloping themselves in another thick cloud of smoke, they went on without farther greeting.

So saying, and surrounding themselves in another thick cloud of smoke, they moved on without any further greetings.

Grasso in aere!” said the Templar. “You hear what a character the impudent knave gives me; but, so it serves your lordship's turn, I care not.—And, now, let me ask your lordship what name you will assume, for we are near the ducal palace of Duke Hildebrod.”

Grasso in aere!” said the Templar. “You hear what kind of character the cheeky rogue gives me; but since it suits your lordship's needs, I don’t mind. — And now, let me ask your lordship what name you will take, because we are close to the ducal palace of Duke Hildebrod.”

“I will be called Grahame,” said Nigel; “it was my mother's name.”

“I'll be called Grahame,” said Nigel; “that was my mother's name.”

“Grime,” repeated the Templar, “will suit Alsatia well enough—both a grim and grimy place of refuge.”

“Grime,” the Templar repeated, “will fit Alsatia just fine—a dark and filthy place of refuge.”

“I said Grahame, sir, not Grime,” said Nigel, something shortly, and laying an emphasis on the vowel—for few Scotsmen understand raillery upon the subject of their names.

“I said Grahame, sir, not Grime,” Nigel replied somewhat curtly, stressing the vowel—because not many Scotsmen get jokes about their names.

“I beg pardon, my lord,” answered the undisconcerted punster; “but Graam will suit the circumstance, too—it signifies tribulation in the High Dutch, and your lordship must be considered as a man under trouble.”

“I apologize, my lord,” replied the unfazed jokester; “but Graam fits the situation as well—it means trouble in High Dutch, and you must be seen as a man in distress.”

Nigel laughed at the pertinacity of the Templar; who, proceeding to point out a sign representing, or believed to represent, a dog attacking a bull, and running at his head, in the true scientific style of onset,—“There,” said he, “doth faithful Duke Hildebrod deal forth laws, as well as ale and strong waters, to his faithful Alsatians. Being a determined champion of Paris Garden, he has chosen a sign corresponding to his habits; and he deals in giving drink to the thirsty, that he himself may drink without paying, and receive pay for what is drunken by others.—Let us enter the ever-open gate of this second Axylus.”

Nigel laughed at the persistence of the Templar, who went on to point out a sign depicting, or thought to depict, a dog attacking a bull and charging at its head, in a true scientific style of attack. “There,” he said, “faithful Duke Hildebrod hands out laws, just like he does ale and strong drinks, to his loyal Alsatians. Being a committed defender of Paris Garden, he has chosen a sign that fits his lifestyle; he serves drinks to the thirsty so that he can drink for free and get paid for what others consume. —Let’s enter the always-open gate of this second Axylus.”

As they spoke, they entered the dilapidated tavern, which was, nevertheless, more ample in dimensions, and less ruinous, than many houses in the same evil neighbourhood. Two or three haggard, ragged drawers, ran to and fro, whose looks, like those of owls, seemed only adapted for midnight, when other creatures sleep, and who by day seemed bleared, stupid, and only half awake. Guided by one of these blinking Ganymedes, they entered a room, where the feeble rays of the sun were almost wholly eclipsed by volumes of tobacco-smoke, rolled from the tubes of the company, while out of the cloudy sanctuary arose the old chant of—

As they talked, they stepped into the rundown tavern, which was, however, larger and in better shape than many of the houses in the same troubled neighborhood. Two or three worn-out, ragged servers hurried around, their faces, like owls, seemed suited for the night when everything else was asleep, and during the day, they looked dazed, confused, and only half-awake. Guided by one of these blinking waiters, they walked into a room where the weak rays of sunlight were mostly blocked by clouds of tobacco smoke pouring from the pipes of the patrons, while from beneath the hazy cover came the familiar tune of—

      “Old Sir Simon the King,
       And old Sir Simon the King,
       With his malmsey nose,
       And his ale-dropped hose,
       And sing hey ding-a-ding-ding.”
 
      “Old Sir Simon the King,  
       And old Sir Simon the King,  
       With his wine-nosed face,  
       And his beer-stained pants,  
       And sing hey ding-a-ding-ding.”

Duke Hildebrod, who himself condescended to chant this ditty to his loving subjects, was a monstrously fat old man, with only one eye; and a nose which bore evidence to the frequency, strength, and depth of his potations. He wore a murrey-coloured plush jerkin, stained with the overflowings of the tankard, and much the worse for wear, and unbuttoned at bottom for the ease of his enormous paunch. Behind him lay a favourite bull-dog, whose round head and single black glancing eye, as well as the creature's great corpulence, gave it a burlesque resemblance to its master.

Duke Hildebrod, who took it upon himself to sing this song to his adoring subjects, was an extremely overweight old man with only one eye and a nose that showed the signs of his frequent and heavy drinking. He wore a burgundy plush jacket, stained from spills, which was well-worn and left unbuttoned at the bottom for the comfort of his huge belly. Behind him was his favorite bulldog, whose round head and solitary black eye, along with the dog’s considerable girth, made it look humorously like its owner.

The well-beloved counsellors who surrounded the ducal throne, incensed it with tobacco, pledged its occupier in thick clammy ale, and echoed back his choral songs, were Satraps worthy of such a Soldan. The buff jerkin, broad belt, and long sword of one, showed him to be a Low Country soldier, whose look of scowling importance, and drunken impudence, were designed to sustain his title to call himself a Roving Blade. It seemed to Nigel that he had seen this fellow somewhere or other. A hedge-parson, or buckle-beggar, as that order of priesthood has been irreverently termed, sat on the Duke's left, and was easily distinguished by his torn band, flapped hat, and the remnants of a rusty cassock. Beside the parson sat a most wretched and meagre-looking old man, with a threadbare hood of coarse kersey upon his head, and buttoned about his neck, while his pinched features, like those of old Daniel, were illuminated by

The well-loved advisors who surrounded the duke's throne filled the air with tobacco smoke, toasted him with thick, warm ale, and echoed back his songs. They were leaders worthy of such a ruler. One of them, dressed in a buff jerkin, wide belt, and long sword, appeared to be a Low Country soldier. His scowling demeanor and drunken boldness seemed intended to justify his claim as a Roving Blade. Nigel thought he recognized him from somewhere. On the duke's left sat a hedge-parson, or buckle-beggar, as that type of clergyman has been irreverently referred to, easily identified by his torn collar, floppy hat, and the remains of a rusty cassock. Next to the parson was a very poor and emaciated old man, wearing a shabby hood made of coarse fabric, buttoned at his neck, while his pinched features, reminiscent of old Daniel, were illuminated by

                            —“an eye,
  Through the last look of dotage still cunning and sly.”
 
                            —“an eye,
  Through the final gaze of old age still crafty and sneaky.”

On his left was placed a broken attorney, who, for some malpractices, had been struck from the roll of practitioners, and who had nothing left of his profession, except its roguery. One or two persons of less figure, amongst whom there was one face, which, like that of the soldier, seemed not unknown to Nigel, though he could not recollect where he had seen it, completed the council-board of Jacob Duke Hildebrod.

On his left sat a disgraced lawyer, who had been disbarred for some unethical practices and had nothing left of his profession but its deceitfulness. A couple of less notable individuals, including a face that, like the soldier's, looked familiar to Nigel but he couldn't remember where he had seen it, rounded out the council table of Jacob Duke Hildebrod.

The strangers had full time to observe all this; for his grace the Duke, whether irresistibly carried on by the full tide of harmony, or whether to impress the strangers with a proper idea of his consequence, chose to sing his ditty to an end before addressing them, though, during the whole time, he closely scrutinized them with his single optic.

The strangers had plenty of time to take it all in; for his grace the Duke, whether swept away by the beautiful music or wanting to show the strangers how important he was, decided to finish his song before speaking to them. However, throughout it all, he kept a close eye on them with his one good eye.

When Duke Hildebrod had ended his song, he informed his Peers that a worthy officer of the Temple attended them, and commanded the captain and parson to abandon their easy chairs in behalf of the two strangers, whom he placed on his right and left hand. The worthy representative of the army and the church of Alsatia went to place themselves on a crazy form at the bottom of the table, which, ill calculated to sustain men of such weight, gave way under them, and the man of the sword and man of the gown were rolled over each other on the floor, amidst the exulting shouts of the company. They arose in wrath, contending which should vent his displeasure in the loudest and deepest oaths, a strife in which the parson's superior acquaintance with theology enabled him greatly to excel the captain, and were at length with difficulty tranquillised by the arrival of the alarmed waiters with more stable chairs, and by a long draught of the cooling tankard. When this commotion was appeased, and the strangers courteously accommodated with flagons, after the fashion of the others present, the Duke drank prosperity to the Temple in the most gracious manner, together with a cup of welcome to Master Reginald Lowestoffe; and, this courtesy having been thankfully accepted, the party honoured prayed permission to call for a gallon of Rhenish, over which he proposed to open his business.

When Duke Hildebrod finished his song, he let his peers know that an important officer of the Temple was among them. He asked the captain and the clergyman to give up their comfy chairs for the two strangers, whom he seated on his right and left. The respected representatives of the Alsatian army and church then went to sit on a rickety bench at the end of the table, which couldn’t handle their weight and collapsed under them, sending the soldier and the clergyman tumbling to the floor amidst the jovial cheers of the guests. They got up in a huff, arguing about who could swear the loudest and most creatively, a contest in which the clergyman’s better knowledge of theology gave him a clear advantage over the captain. Eventually, they were calmed down with some difficulty when the concerned waiters returned with sturdier chairs and a long drink from the refreshing tankard. Once the chaos settled, and the strangers were politely served flagons, just like everyone else, the Duke raised a toast to the Temple in the most gracious manner, along with a drink of welcome to Master Reginald Lowestoffe; after gratefully accepting this gesture, the esteemed guest asked to order a gallon of Rhenish, which he intended to use to start his business discussion.

The mention of a liquor so superior to their usual potations had an instant and most favourable effect upon the little senate; and its immediate appearance might be said to secure a favourable reception of Master Lowestoffe's proposition, which, after a round or two had circulated, he explained to be the admission of his friend Master Nigel Grahame to the benefit of the sanctuary and other immunities of Alsatia, in the character of a grand compounder; for so were those termed who paid a double fee at their matriculation, in order to avoid laying before the senate the peculiar circumstances which compelled them to take refuge there.

The mention of a drink far better than what they usually had instantly made a positive impact on the little senate; and it could be said that its quick appearance guaranteed a warm welcome for Master Lowestoffe's suggestion. After a few rounds had gone around, he explained that it was about allowing his friend, Master Nigel Grahame, the advantages of the sanctuary and other privileges of Alsatia, as a grand compounder; that’s what they called those who paid a double fee at enrollment to avoid having to disclose the specific circumstances that led them to seek refuge there.

The worthy Duke heard the proposition with glee, which glittered in his single eye; and no wonder, as it was a rare occurrence, and of peculiar advantage to his private revenue. Accordingly, he commanded his ducal register to be brought him, a huge book, secured with brass clasps like a merchant's ledger, and whose leaves, stained with wine, and slabbered with tobacco juice, bore the names probably of as many rogues as are to be found in the Calendar of Newgate.

The worthy Duke listened to the proposal with delight, which shone in his single eye; and it was no surprise, as it was a rare event and particularly beneficial to his personal finances. So, he ordered his ducal register to be brought to him, a large book secured with brass clasps like a merchant's ledger, and whose pages, stained with wine and smeared with tobacco juice, probably contained the names of as many crooks as there are in the Calendar of Newgate.

Nigel was then directed to lay down two nobles as his ransom, and to claim privilege by reciting the following doggerel verses, which were dictated to him by the Duke:—

Nigel was then instructed to put down two nobles as his ransom and to assert his privilege by reciting the following rhymed lines, which were given to him by the Duke:—

        “Your suppliant, by name
         Nigel Grahame,
         In fear of mishap
         From a shoulder-tap;
         And dreading a claw
         From the talons of law,
          That are sharper than briers:
         His freedom to sue,
         And rescue by you—
         Thorugh weapon and wit,
         From warrant and writ,
         From bailiff's hand,
         From tipstaff's wand,
          Is come hither to Whitefriars.”
 
        “Your petitioners, 
         Nigel Grahame, 
         Fearing misfortune 
         From a shoulder tap; 
         And dreading a blow 
         From the law’s sharp claws, 
         Which are sharper than thorns: 
         His right to sue, 
         And seek your help— 
         Through strength and cleverness, 
         From an order and a summons, 
         From the bailiff's grip, 
         From the officer's wand, 
         Has come here to Whitefriars.”

As Duke Hildebrod with a tremulous hand began to make the entry, and had already, with superfluous generosity, spelled Nigel with two g's instead of one, he was interrupted by the parson. [Footnote: This curious register is still in existence, being in possession of that eminent antiquary, Dr. Dryasdust, who liberally offered the author permission to have the autograph of Duke Hildebrod engraved as an illustration of this passage. Unhappily, being rigorous as Ritson himself in adhering to the very letter of his copy, the worthy Doctor clogged his munificence with the condition that we should adopt the Duke's orthography, and entitle the work “The Fortunes of Niggle,” with which stipulation we did not think it necessary to comply.] This reverend gentleman had been whispering for a minute or two, not with the captain, but with that other individual, who dwelt imperfectly, as we have already mentioned, in Nigel's memory, and being, perhaps, still something malecontent on account of the late accident, he now requested to be heard before the registration took place.

As Duke Hildebrod nervously began to make the entry, and had already, in his over-the-top generosity, spelled Nigel with two g's instead of one, he was interrupted by the parson. [Footnote: This curious register still exists, currently held by that prominent antiquarian, Dr. Dryasdust, who generously offered the author permission to have Duke Hildebrod's autograph engraved as an illustration for this passage. Unfortunately, being as strict as Ritson himself about sticking to the exact wording of his copy, the well-meaning Doctor attached the condition that we should follow the Duke's spelling and title the work “The Fortunes of Niggle,” which we felt was unnecessary to comply with.] This reverend gentleman had been whispering for a minute or two, not with the captain, but with another individual who only vaguely resided in Nigel's memory, and being perhaps still a bit disgruntled about the recent incident, he now requested to speak before the registration took place.

“The person,” he said, “who hath now had the assurance to propose himself as a candidate for the privileges and immunities of this honourable society, is, in plain terms, a beggarly Scot, and we have enough of these locusts in London already—if we admit such palmer-worms and caterpillars to the Sanctuary, we shall soon have the whole nation.”

“The person,” he said, “who has now had the confidence to put himself forward as a candidate for the privileges and benefits of this esteemed society is, to put it plainly, a needy Scot, and we already have enough of these pests in London—if we allow these freeloaders and nuisances into the Sanctuary, we will quickly find ourselves overrun by the entire nation.”

“We are not entitled to inquire,” said Duke Hildebrod, “whether he be Scot, or French, or English; seeing he has honourably laid down his garnish, he is entitled to our protection.”

“We're not allowed to ask,” said Duke Hildebrod, “whether he’s Scottish, French, or English; since he has honorably put aside his armor, he deserves our protection.”

“Word of denial, most Sovereign Duke,” replied the parson, “I ask him no questions—his speech betrayeth him—he is a Galilean—and his garnish is forfeited for his assurance in coming within this our realm; and I call on you, Sir Duke, to put the laws in force against him!”

“It's a matter of denial, Your Grace,” replied the priest, “I don’t ask him any questions—his words give him away—he's a Galilean—and he’s in trouble for having the nerve to enter our territory; I urge you, Duke, to enforce the laws against him!”

The Templar here rose, and was about to interrupt the deliberations of the court, when the Duke gravely assured him that he should be heard in behalf of his friend, so soon as the council had finished their deliberations.

The Templar stood up and was about to interrupt the court's discussions when the Duke seriously assured him that he would be allowed to speak on behalf of his friend as soon as the council completed their deliberations.

The attorney next rose, and, intimating that he was to speak to the point of law, said—“It was easy to be seen that this gentleman did not come here in any civil case, and that he believed it to be the story they had already heard of concerning a blow given within the verge of the Park—that the Sanctuary would not bear out the offender in such case—and that the queer old Chief would send down a broom which would sweep the streets of Alsatia from the Strand to the Stairs; and it was even policy to think what evil might come to their republic, by sheltering an alien in such circumstances.”

The attorney then stood up and, indicating that he was going to address a legal point, said—“It’s clear that this gentleman didn’t come here for any civil matter, and he believed it was the same story they had already heard about a blow dealt within the limits of the Park—that the Sanctuary wouldn’t protect the offender in that situation—and that the odd old Chief would send down a broom to clean up the streets of Alsatia from the Strand to the Stairs; it’s even wise to consider what harm might come to our republic by providing refuge to a stranger in such circumstances.”

The captain, who had sat impatiently while these opinions were expressed, now sprung on his feet with the vehemence of a cork bouncing from a bottle of brisk beer, and, turning up his mustaches with a martial air, cast a glance of contempt on the lawyer and churchman, while he thus expressed his opinion.

The captain, who had been sitting impatiently as these opinions were shared, suddenly jumped to his feet like a cork popping out of a bottle of fizzy beer. With a commanding look, he twirled his mustaches and shot a contemptuous glance at the lawyer and the clergyman as he shared his thoughts.

“Most noble Duke Hildebrod! When I hear such base, skeldering, coistril propositions come from the counsellors of your grace, and when I remember the Huffs, the Muns, and the Tityretu's by whom your grace's ancestors and predecessors were advised on such occasions, I begin to think the spirit of action is as dead in Alsatia as in my old grannam; and yet who thinks so thinks a lie, since I will find as many roaring boys in the Friars as shall keep the liberties against all the scavengers of Westminster. And, if we should be overborne for a turn, death and darkness! have we not time to send the gentleman off by water, either to Paris Garden or to the bankside? and, if he is a gallant of true breed, will he not make us full amends for all the trouble we have? Let other societies exist by the law, I say that we brisk boys of the Fleet live in spite of it; and thrive best when we are in right opposition to sign and seal, writ and warrant, sergeant and tipstaff, catchpoll, and bum-bailey.”

“Most noble Duke Hildebrod! When I hear such low, sneaky, foolish suggestions from your grace's counselors, and when I remember the Huffs, the Muns, and the Tityretus who advised your grace's ancestors and predecessors in similar situations, I start to think that the spirit of action is as dead in Alsatia as with my old grandmother; and yet anyone who thinks that is wrong, since I can find just as many raucous lads in the Friars who will defend our liberties against all the scavengers of Westminster. And, if we should be overwhelmed for a bit, death and darkness! Don't we have time to send the gentleman away by water, either to Paris Garden or to the bankside? And if he’s a true gentleman, won’t he make it all worth our trouble? Let other groups exist by the law, I say that we lively fellows of the Fleet will thrive despite it; and we do best when we are in direct opposition to signs and seals, writs and warrants, sergeants and tipstaffs, catchpoles, and bum-baileys.”

This speech was followed by a murmur of approbation, and Lowestoffe, striking in before the favourable sound had subsided, reminded the Duke and his council how much the security of their state depended upon the amity of the Templars, who, by closing their gates, could at pleasure shut against the Alsatians the communication betwixt the Friars and the Temple, and that as they conducted themselves on this occasion, so would they secure or lose the benefit of his interest with his own body, which they knew not to be inconsiderable. “And, in respect of my friend being a Scotsman and alien, as has been observed by the reverend divine and learned lawyer, you are to consider,” said Lowestoffe, “for what he is pursued hither—why, for giving the bastinado, not to an Englishman, but to one of his own countrymen. And for my own simple part,” he continued, touching Lord Glenvarloch at the same time, to make him understand he spoke but in jest, “if all the Scots in London were to fight a Welsh main, and kill each other to a man, the survivor would, in my humble opinion, be entitled to our gratitude, as having done a most acceptable service to poor Old England.”

This speech was met with a buzz of approval, and Lowestoffe, jumping in before the positive chatter died down, reminded the Duke and his council how much their state's security relied on the friendship of the Templars, who could easily block communication between the Friars and the Temple by closing their gates. He pointed out that how they acted in this situation would determine whether they secured or lost the benefit of his influence, which they knew was significant. “And regarding my friend being a Scotsman and an outsider, as the respected minister and learned lawyer have noted, you should consider,” Lowestoffe said, “why he is being pursued here—it's for giving a beating, not to an Englishman, but to one of his fellow countrymen. And for my own straightforward opinion,” he continued, gesturing to Lord Glenvarloch to show he was joking, “if all the Scots in London were to have a Welsh fight and wipe each other out, the one left standing would, in my humble view, deserve our gratitude for doing a great service to poor Old England.”

A shout of laughter and applause followed this ingenious apology for the client's state of alienage; and the Templar followed up his plea with the following pithy proposition:—“I know well,” said he, “it is the custom of the fathers of this old and honourable republic, ripely and well to consider all their proceedings over a proper allowance of liquor; and far be it from me to propose the breach of so laudable a custom, or to pretend that such an affair as the present can be well and constitutionally considered during the discussion of a pitiful gallon of Rhenish. But, as it is the same thing to this honourable conclave whether they drink first and determine afterwards, or whether they determine first and drink afterwards, I propose your grace, with the advice of your wise and potent senators, shall pass your edict, granting to mine honourable friend the immunities of the place, and assigning him a lodging, according to your wise forms, to which he will presently retire, being somewhat spent with this day's action; whereupon I will presently order you a rundlet of Rhenish, with a corresponding quantity of neats' tongues and pickled herrings, to make you all as glorious as George-a-Green.”

A burst of laughter and applause followed this clever apology for the client's situation; and the Templar backed up his request with the following concise statement: “I know well,” he said, “that it’s the practice of the founders of this old and respected republic to reflect on all their decisions over a decent amount of drinks; and I certainly don’t mean to suggest breaking such a commendable tradition or to imply that matters like the one at hand can be properly and legally assessed while discussing a measly gallon of Rhenish. But, since it makes no difference to this esteemed assembly whether you drink first and then decide, or decide first and then drink, I propose that you, your grace, along with your wise and powerful senators, should issue an order granting my honorable friend the privileges of the place, and assigning him accommodations, according to your protocols, where he can go and rest, being somewhat worn out from today’s events. Meanwhile, I’ll promptly arrange for you a barrel of Rhenish, along with a suitable supply of beef tongues and pickled herring, to make you all as merry as George-a-Green.”

This overture was received with a general shout of applause, which altogether drowned the voice of the dissidents, if any there were amongst the Alsatian senate who could have resisted a proposal so popular. The words of, kind heart! noble gentleman! generous gallant! flew from mouth to mouth; the inscription of the petitioner's name in the great book was hastily completed, and the oath administered to him by the worthy Doge. Like the Laws of the Twelve Tables, of the ancient Cambro-Britons, and other primitive nations, it was couched in poetry, and ran as follows:—

This proposal was met with an uproar of applause that completely drowned out any dissenting voices among the Alsatian senate, if there were any who could resist such a popular idea. Phrases like, kind heart! noble gentleman! generous gallant! spread quickly from person to person; the petitioner's name was quickly recorded in the great book, and the honorable Doge administered the oath to him. Like the Laws of the Twelve Tables, of the ancient Cambro-Britons, and other early civilizations, it was written in verse, and went like this:—

 “By spigot and barrel,
  By bilboe and buff;
  Thou art sworn to the quarrel
  Of the blades of the huff.
  For Whitefriars and its claims
  To be champion or martyr,
  And to fight for its dames
  Like a Knight of the Garter.”
 
“By spigot and barrel,  
By bilboe and buff;  
You are sworn to the fight  
Of the blades of the huff.  
For Whitefriars and its claims  
To be champion or martyr,  
And to fight for its ladies  
Like a Knight of the Garter.”

Nigel felt, and indeed exhibited, some disgust at this mummery; but, the Templar reminding him that he was too far advanced to draw back, he repeated the words, or rather assented as they were repeated by Duke Hildebrod, who concluded the ceremony by allowing him the privilege of sanctuary, in the following form of prescriptive doggerel:—

Nigel felt, and actually showed, some disgust at this show; but, the Templar reminding him that he was too committed to turn back, he repeated the words, or rather agreed as they were repeated by Duke Hildebrod, who finished the ceremony by granting him the right of sanctuary, in the following form of traditional rhyme:—

 “From the touch of the tip,
  From the blight of the warrant,
  From the watchmen who skip
  On the Harman Beck's errand;
  From the bailiffs cramp speech,
  That makes man a thrall,
  I charm thee from each,
  And I charm thee from all.
  Thy freedom's complete
  As a Blade of the Huff,
  To be cheated and cheat,
  To be cuff'd and to cuff;
  To stride, swear, and swagger,
  To drink till you stagger,
  To stare and to stab,
  And to brandish your dagger
  In the cause of your drab;
  To walk wool-ward in winter,
  Drink brandy, and smoke,
  And go fresco in summer
  For want of a cloak;
  To eke out your living
  By the wag of your elbow,
  By fulham and gourd,
  And by baring of bilboe;
  To live by your shifts,
  And to swear by your honour,
  Are the freedom and gifts
  Of which I am the donor."[Footnote: Of the cant words used in this
inauguratory oration, some are obvious in their meaning, others, as
Harman Beck (constable), and the like, derive their source from that
ancient piece of lexicography, the Slang Dictionary]
“From the tip of your fingers,  
From the burden of the warrant,  
From the watchmen who pass  
On the Harman Beck's mission;  
From the bailiffs' awkward speech,  
That turns a man into a thrall,  
I free you from each,  
And I free you from all.  
Your freedom’s complete  
Like a Blade of the Huff,  
To be fooled and to fool,  
To be hit and to hit;  
To stride, swear, and swagger,  
To drink till you stumble,  
To stare and to stab,  
And to wave your dagger  
For the sake of your drab;  
To walk in wool in winter,  
Drink brandy, and smoke,  
And go fresco in summer  
When you lack a coat;  
To scrape by your living  
By the swing of your elbow,  
By fulham and gourd,  
And by showing your bilboe;  
To live by your wits,  
And to swear by your honor,  
Are the freedoms and gifts  
That I am giving you.”

This homily being performed, a dispute arose concerning the special residence to be assigned the new brother of the Sanctuary; for, as the Alsatians held it a maxim in their commonwealth, that ass's milk fattens, there was usually a competition among the inhabitants which should have the managing, as it was termed, of a new member of the society.

This sermon being delivered, a disagreement came up about where to place the new brother of the Sanctuary; because the Alsatians believed it was a principle in their community that ass's milk is nourishing, there was often a rivalry among the residents over who would take care of, as it was called, a new member of the group.

The Hector who had spoken so warmly and critically in Nigel's behalf, stood out now chivalrously in behalf of a certain Blowselinda, or Bonstrops, who had, it seems, a room to hire, once the occasional residence of Slicing Dick of Paddington, who lately suffered at Tyburn, and whose untimely exit had been hitherto mourned by the damsel in solitary widowhood, after the fashion of the turtle-dove.

The Hector who had spoken so passionately and critically for Nigel now stood up gallantly for someone named Blowselinda, or Bonstrops, who apparently had a room to rent. This room was once the occasional home of Slicing Dick from Paddington, who had recently faced execution at Tyburn, and whose early death had been mourned by the woman in lonely widowhood, much like a turtle dove.

The captain's interest was, however, overruled, in behalf of the old gentleman in the kersey hood, who was believed, even at his extreme age, to understand the plucking of a pigeon, as well, or better, than any man in Alsatia.

The captain's interest was, however, overridden in favor of the old gentleman in the kersey hood, who was believed, even at his advanced age, to know how to pluck a pigeon as well as, or better than, anyone else in Alsatia.

This venerable personage was an usurer of notoriety, called Trapbois, and had very lately done the state considerable service in advancing a subsidy necessary to secure a fresh importation of liquors to the Duke's cellars, the wine-merchant at the Vintry being scrupulous to deal with so great a man for any thing but ready money.

This well-known figure was a notorious moneylender named Trapbois, who had recently done the state a great service by providing a loan needed to secure a new shipment of alcoholic beverages for the Duke's cellars, as the wine merchant in Vintry was reluctant to do business with such a powerful man unless it was for cash.

When, therefore, the old gentleman arose, and with much coughing, reminded the Duke that he had a poor apartment to let, the claims of all others were set aside, and Nigel was assigned to Trapbois as his guest.

When the old gentleman got up and, after coughing a lot, reminded the Duke that he had a cheap room available, everyone else's requests were ignored, and Nigel was assigned to Trapbois as his guest.

No sooner was this arrangement made, than Lord Glenvarloch expressed to Lowestoffe his impatience to leave this discreditable assembly, and took his leave with a careless haste, which, but for the rundlet of Rhenish wine that entered just as he left the apartment, might have been taken in bad part. The young Templar accompanied his friend to the house of the old usurer, with the road to which he and some other youngsters about the Temple were even but too well acquainted. On the way, he assured Lord Glenvarloch that he was going to the only clean house in Whitefriars; a property which it owed solely to the exertions of the old man's only daughter, an elderly damsel, ugly enough to frighten sin, yet likely to be wealthy enough to tempt a puritan, so soon as the devil had got her old dad for his due. As Lowestoffe spoke thus, they knocked at the door of the house, and the sour stern countenance of the female by whom it was opened, fully confirmed all that the Templar had said of the hostess. She heard with an ungracious and discontented air the young Templar's information, that the gentleman, his companion, was to be her father's lodger, muttered something about the trouble it was likely to occasion, but ended by showing the stranger's apartment, which was better than could have been augured from the general appearance of the place, and much larger in extent than that which he occupied at Paul's Wharf, though inferior to it in neatness.

No sooner had this plan been set up than Lord Glenvarloch told Lowestoffe how eager he was to leave this shameful gathering and hurried out the door. If it hadn't been for the round of Rhenish wine that came in just as he was leaving, his quick exit might have been taken the wrong way. The young Templar walked with his friend to the house of the old moneylender, a route familiar to him and some other young guys at the Temple. Along the way, he assured Lord Glenvarloch that he was heading to the only decent place in Whitefriars, a status thanks solely to the efforts of the old man's only daughter—an elderly woman so unattractive she could scare sin away, yet probably rich enough to attract a puritan once the devil took her old dad for what he owed. As Lowestoffe spoke, they knocked on the door of the house, and the stern, sour face of the woman who answered confirmed everything the Templar had said about the hostess. She received the young Templar’s news that the gentleman accompanying him would be her father’s lodger with an ungracious, disgruntled look, muttering something about the trouble it would likely cause, but ultimately she showed the stranger's room, which was better than what could have been expected from the overall appearance of the place and much larger than his room at Paul's Wharf, even though it was not as tidy.

Lowestoffe, having thus seen his friend fairly installed in his new apartment, and having obtained for him a note of the rate at which he could be accommodated with victuals from a neighbouring cook's shop, now took his leave, offering, at the same time, to send the whole, or any part of Lord Glenvarloch's baggage, from his former place of residence to his new lodging. Nigel mentioned so few articles, that the Templar could not help observing, that his lordship, it would seem, did not intend to enjoy his new privileges long.

Lowestoffe, after making sure his friend was comfortably settled in his new apartment and getting a note about the rates for meals from a nearby takeout, now said his goodbyes. He also offered to send all or part of Lord Glenvarloch's belongings from his old place to the new one. Nigel mentioned so few items that the Templar couldn't help but notice that it seemed his lordship didn't plan to enjoy his new freedom for long.

“They are too little suited to my habits and taste, that I should do so,” replied Lord Glenvarloch.

“They don’t really match my habits and taste, so I wouldn’t do that,” replied Lord Glenvarloch.

“You may change your opinion to-morrow,” said Lowestoffe; “and so I wish you a good even. To-morrow I will visit you betimes.”

“You might change your mind tomorrow,” said Lowestoffe; “and so I wish you a good evening. Tomorrow I’ll come by early.”

The morning came, but instead of the Templar, it brought only a letter from him. The epistle stated, that Lowestoffe's visit to Alsatia had drawn down the animadversions of some crabbed old pantaloons among the benchers, and that he judged it wise not to come hither at present, for fear of attracting too much attention to Lord Glenvarloch's place of residence. He stated, that he had taken measures for the safety of his baggage, and would send him, by a safe hand, his money-casket, and what articles he wanted. Then followed some sage advices, dictated by Lowestoffe's acquaintance with Alsatia and its manners. He advised him to keep the usurer in the most absolute uncertainty concerning the state of his funds-never to throw a main with the captain, who was in the habit of playing dry-fisted, and paying his losses with three vowels; and, finally, to beware of Duke Hildebrod, who was as sharp, he said, as a needle, though he had no more eyes than are possessed by that necessary implement of female industry.

The morning arrived, but instead of the Templar, it only brought a letter from him. The letter mentioned that Lowestoffe's visit to Alsatia had drawn criticism from some grumpy old judges among the benchers, and he thought it best not to come here right now to avoid drawing too much attention to Lord Glenvarloch's home. He said he had made arrangements for the safety of his belongings and would send his money box and any items he needed by a reliable person. Then, he included some wise advice, given Lowestoffe's familiarity with Alsatia and its ways. He advised him to keep the moneylender completely uncertain about his financial situation—never to play a game with the captain, who was known for playing stingy and covering his losses with three vowels; and finally, to be cautious of Duke Hildebrod, who, he said, was as sharp as a needle, even though he had no more eyes than that essential tool of female craft.










CHAPTER XVIII

Mother. What I dazzled by a flash from Cupid's mirror, With which the boy, as mortal urchins wont, Flings back the sunbeam in the eye of passengers—Then laughs to see them stumble!

Mother. What I dazzled by a flash from Cupid's mirror, with which the boy, like any other mischievous kid, throws back the sunlight into the eyes of passersby—then laughs when they trip!

Daughter. Mother! no—It was a lightning-flash which dazzled me, And never shall these eyes see true again. Beef and Pudding.-An Old English Comedy.

Daughter. Mom! No—It was a flash of lightning that blinded me, and these eyes will never see clearly again. Beef and Pudding.-An Old English Comedy.

It is necessary that we should leave our hero Nigel for a time, although in a situation neither safe, comfortable, nor creditable, in order to detail some particulars which have immediate connexion with his fortunes.

It’s important that we take a break from our hero Nigel for a moment, even though he’s in a situation that’s neither safe, comfortable, nor respectable, to share some details that are directly related to his fate.

It was but the third day after he had been forced to take refuge in the house of old Trapbois, the noted usurer of Whitefriars, commonly called Golden Trapbois, when the pretty daughter of old Ramsay, the watchmaker, after having piously seen her father finish his breakfast, (from the fear that he might, in an abstruse fit of thought, swallow the salt-cellar instead of a crust of the brown loaf,) set forth from the house as soon as he was again plunged into the depth of calculation, and, accompanied only by that faithful old drudge, Janet, the Scots laundress, to whom her whims were laws, made her way to Lombard Street, and disturbed, at the unusual hour of eight in the morning, Aunt Judith, the sister of her worthy godfather.

It was just the third day after he had been forced to take refuge in the house of old Trapbois, the notorious moneylender of Whitefriars, commonly known as Golden Trapbois, when the pretty daughter of old Ramsay, the watchmaker, after kindly making sure her father finished his breakfast—worried that in a deep thought he might accidentally swallow the salt-cellar instead of a piece of brown bread—set out from the house as soon as he was once again lost in his calculations. Accompanied only by her loyal old servant, Janet, the Scottish laundress, who followed her whims without question, she made her way to Lombard Street, disturbing her Aunt Judith, the sister of her respectable godfather, at the unusual hour of eight in the morning.

The venerable maiden received her young visitor with no great complacency; for, naturally enough, she had neither the same admiration of her very pretty countenance, nor allowance for her foolish and girlish impatience of temper, which Master George Heriot entertained. Still Mistress Margaret was a favourite of her brother's, whose will was to Aunt Judith a supreme law; and she contented herself with asking her untimely visitor, “what she made so early with her pale, chitty face, in the streets of London?”

The respected woman greeted her young guest without much enthusiasm; naturally, she didn't share the same admiration for her pretty face, nor the patience for her childish impatience that Master George Heriot had. Still, Mistress Margaret was a favorite of her brother's, and his wishes were law for Aunt Judith. So, she settled for asking her unexpectedly early visitor, “What are you doing out so early with your pale, chubby face in the streets of London?”

“I would speak with the Lady Hermione,” answered the almost breathless girl, while the blood ran so fast to her face as totally to remove the objection of paleness which Aunt Judith had made to her complexion.

“I need to talk to Lady Hermione,” replied the nearly breathless girl, her face flushing so quickly that it completely eliminated the paleness Aunt Judith had mentioned about her complexion.

“With the Lady Hermione?” said Aunt Judith—“with the Lady Hermione? and at this time in the morning, when she will scarce see any of the family, even at seasonable hours? You are crazy, you silly wench, or you abuse the indulgence which my brother and the lady have shown to you.”

“With Lady Hermione?” said Aunt Judith. “With Lady Hermione? And at this time in the morning, when she will hardly see any of the family, even at decent hours? You’re crazy, you silly girl, or you’re taking advantage of the kindness that my brother and the lady have shown you.”

“Indeed, indeed I have not,” repeated Margaret, struggling to retain the unbidden tear which seemed ready to burst out on the slightest occasion. “Do but say to the lady that your brother's god-daughter desires earnestly to speak to her, and I know she will not refuse to see me.”

“Really, I haven’t,” Margaret said again, trying to hold back the tear that almost spilled out at the slightest moment. “Just tell the lady that your brother's goddaughter really wants to speak with her, and I know she won’t turn me away.”

Aunt Judith bent an earnest, suspicious, and inquisitive glance on her young visitor, “You might make me your secretary, my lassie,” she said, “as well as the Lady Hermione. I am older, and better skilled to advise. I live more in the world than one who shuts herself up within four rooms, and I have the better means to assist you.”

Aunt Judith fixed an intense, wary, and curious look on her young visitor. "You could make me your secretary, my dear," she said, "just like the Lady Hermione. I'm older and more qualified to give advice. I experience life outside those four walls more than someone who isolates herself at home, and I can help you better."

“O! no—no—no,” said Margaret, eagerly, and with more earnest sincerity than complaisance; “there are some things to which you cannot advise me, Aunt Judith. It is a case—pardon me, my dear aunt—a case beyond your counsel.”

“O! no—no—no,” said Margaret eagerly, her sincerity far outweighing any politeness; “there are some things you can’t advise me on, Aunt Judith. This is—excuse me, my dear aunt—a situation beyond your advice.”

“I am glad on't, maiden,” said Aunt Judith, somewhat angrily; “for I think the follies of the young people of this generation would drive mad an old brain like mine. Here you come on the viretot, through the whole streets of London, to talk some nonsense to a lady, who scarce sees God's sun, but when he shines on a brick wall. But I will tell her you are here.”

“I’m glad you’re not, young lady,” said Aunt Judith, somewhat angrily; “because I think the silliness of today's young people would drive an old mind like mine crazy. Here you come on the vireo, through all the streets of London, to talk some nonsense to a lady who hardly sees the sun except when it shines on a brick wall. But I'll let her know you’re here.”

She went away, and shortly returned with a dry—“Miss Marget, the lady will be glad to see you; and that's more, my young madam, than you had a right to count upon.”

She left and soon came back with a dry, “Miss Marget, the lady will be happy to see you; and that's more, my young lady, than you had any reason to expect.”

Mistress Margaret hung her head in silence, too much perplexed by the train of her own embarrassed thoughts, for attempting either to conciliate Aunt Judith's kindness, or, which on other occasions would have been as congenial to her own humour, to retaliate on her cross-tempered remarks and manner. She followed Aunt Judith, therefore, in silence and dejection, to the strong oaken door which divided the Lady Hermione's apartments from the rest of George Heriot's spacious house.

Mistress Margaret hung her head in silence, too confused by her own awkward thoughts to either try to smooth over Aunt Judith's kindness or, as she might have done at other times, respond to her grumpy comments and attitude. So, she followed Aunt Judith in silence and sadness to the sturdy oak door that separated Lady Hermione's rooms from the rest of George Heriot's large house.

At the door of this sanctuary it is necessary to pause, in order to correct the reports with which Richie Moniplies had filled his master's ear, respecting the singular appearance of that lady's attendance at prayers, whom we now own to be by name the Lady Hermione. Some part of these exaggerations had been communicated to the worthy Scotsman by Jenkin Vincent, who was well experienced in the species of wit which has been long a favourite in the city, under the names of cross-biting, giving the dor, bamboozling, cramming, hoaxing, humbugging, and quizzing; for which sport Richie Moniplies, with his solemn gravity, totally unapprehensive of a joke, and his natural propensity to the marvellous, formed an admirable subject. Farther ornaments the tale had received from Richie himself, whose tongue, especially when oiled with good liquor, had a considerable tendency to amplification, and who failed not, while he retailed to his master all the wonderful circumstances narrated by Vincent, to add to them many conjectures of his own, which his imagination had over-hastily converted into facts.

At the entrance of this sanctuary, it’s important to stop and set the record straight about the stories Richie Moniplies had filled his master's head with regarding the unusual presence of that lady at prayers, whom we now acknowledge as Lady Hermione. Some of these embellishments had been passed on to the respectable Scotsman by Jenkin Vincent, who was well-versed in the kind of humor that has long been popular in the city, known by names like cross-biting, giving the dor, bamboozling, cramming, hoaxing, humbugging, and quizzing; for this type of sport, Richie Moniplies, with his serious demeanor, completely oblivious to humor, and his natural inclination towards the extraordinary, made for an excellent target. The tale was further embellished by Richie himself, whose tongue, especially when loosened by good drink, had a significant tendency to exaggerate, and who made sure to add many of his own speculations, which his imagination had quickly turned into facts, while retelling his master all the astonishing details relayed by Vincent.

Yet the life which the Lady Hermione had led for two years, during which she had been the inmate of George Heriot's house, was so singular, as almost to sanction many of the wild reports which went abroad. The house which the worthy goldsmith inhabited, had in former times belonged to a powerful and wealthy baronial family, which, during the reign of Henry VIII., terminated in a dowager lady, very wealthy, very devout, and most unalienably attached to the Catholic faith. The chosen friend of the Honourable Lady Foljambe was the Abbess of Saint Roque's Nunnery, like herself a conscientious, rigid, and devoted Papist. When the house of Saint Roque was despotically dissolved by the fiat of the impetuous monarch, the Lady Foljambe received her friend into her spacious mansion, together with two vestal sisters, who, like their Abbess, were determined to follow the tenor of their vows, instead of embracing the profane liberty which the Monarch's will had thrown in their choice. For their residence, the Lady Foljambe contrived, with all secrecy—for Henry might not have relished her interference—to set apart a suite of four rooms, with a little closet fitted up as an oratory, or chapel; the whole apartments fenced by a stout oaken door to exclude strangers, and accommodated with a turning wheel to receive necessaries, according to the practice of all nunneries. In this retreat, the Abbess of Saint Roque and her attendants passed many years, communicating only with the Lady Foljambe, who, in virtue of their prayers, and of the support she afforded them, accounted herself little less than a saint on earth. The Abbess, fortunately for herself, died before her munificent patroness, who lived deep in Queen Elizabeth's time, ere she was summoned by fate.

Yet the life that Lady Hermione had lived for two years, while staying at George Heriot's house, was so unusual that it almost justified many of the wild rumors that spread around. The house where the respected goldsmith lived used to belong to a powerful and wealthy baronial family, which ended during Henry VIII's reign with a dowager lady who was very wealthy, deeply religious, and strongly committed to the Catholic faith. The close friend of the Honourable Lady Foljambe was the Abbess of Saint Roque's Nunnery, who, like her, was a devout and strict Catholic. When the House of Saint Roque was harshly shut down by the will of the impulsive monarch, Lady Foljambe welcomed her friend into her large home, along with two devoted sisters who, like their Abbess, chose to uphold their vows instead of accepting the secular freedom the Monarch had given them. To provide for their living arrangements, Lady Foljambe secretly set aside a set of four rooms, with a small closet turned into an oratory or chapel; all the rooms were secured with a sturdy oak door to keep strangers out and included a turning wheel for receiving supplies, just like in all nunneries. In this refuge, the Abbess of Saint Roque and her companions spent many years, communicating only with Lady Foljambe, who believed that through their prayers and her support, she was as good as a saint on earth. Fortunately for her, the Abbess died before her generous benefactor, who lived well into Queen Elizabeth's time before she was called by fate.

The Lady Foljambe was succeeded in this mansion by a sour fanatic knight, a distant and collateral relation, who claimed the same merit for expelling the priestess of Baal, which his predecessor had founded on maintaining the votaresses of Heaven. Of the two unhappy nuns, driven from their ancient refuge, one went beyond sea; the other, unable from old age to undertake such a journey, died under the roof of a faithful Catholic widow of low degree. Sir Paul Crambagge, having got rid of the nuns, spoiled the chapel of its ornaments, and had thoughts of altogether destroying the apartments, until checked by the reflection that the operation would be an unnecessary expense, since he only inhabited three rooms of the large mansion, and had not therefore the slightest occasion for any addition to its accommodations. His son proved a waster and a prodigal, and from him the house was bought by our friend George Heriot, who, finding, like Sir Paul, the house more than sufficiently ample for his accommodation, left the Foljambe apartments, or Saint Roque's rooms, as they were called, in the state in which he found them.

The Lady Foljambe was succeeded in this mansion by a bitter, fanatical knight, a distant relative, who claimed the same credit for kicking out the priestess of Baal that his predecessor had for supporting the worshippers of Heaven. Of the two unfortunate nuns, forced from their long-time refuge, one went abroad, while the other, too old to make such a journey, died under the roof of a devoted Catholic widow of humble means. Sir Paul Crambagge, having disposed of the nuns, stripped the chapel of its decorations and considered completely destroying the rooms, until he realized it would be a waste of money since he only used three rooms in the vast mansion and therefore had no need for more space. His son turned out to be a spender and a squanderer, and from him, the house was purchased by our friend George Heriot, who, like Sir Paul, found the house more than adequate for his needs and left the Foljambe apartments, or Saint Roque's rooms, as they were called, in the condition he found them.

About two years and a half before our history opened, when Heriot was absent upon an expedition to the Continent, he sent special orders to his sister and his cash-keeper, directing that the Foljambe apartments should be fitted up handsomely, though plainly, for the reception of a lady, who would make them her residence for some time; and who would live more or less with his own family according to her pleasure. He also directed, that the necessary repairs should be made with secrecy, and that as little should be said as possible upon the subject of his letter.

About two and a half years before our story begins, when Heriot was away on a trip to the Continent, he sent specific instructions to his sister and his money manager. He asked them to set up the Foljambe apartments nicely, but simply, for a lady who would be living there for a while; she could spend time with his family as she liked. He also instructed that the necessary repairs should be done discreetly and that as little as possible should be said about his letter.

When the time of his return came nigh, Aunt Judith and the household were on the tenter-hooks of impatience. Master George came, as he had intimated, accompanied by a lady, so eminently beautiful, that, had it not been for her extreme and uniform paleness, she might have been reckoned one of the loveliest creatures on earth. She had with her an attendant, or humble companion, whose business seemed only to wait upon her. This person, a reserved woman, and by her dialect a foreigner, aged about fifty, was called by the lady Monna Paula, and by Master Heriot, and others, Mademoiselle Pauline. She slept in the same room with her patroness at night, ate in her apartment, and was scarcely ever separated from her during the day.

When it was almost time for him to come back, Aunt Judith and the whole household were on edge with impatience. Master George arrived, just as he had said he would, accompanied by a lady so stunningly beautiful that, if it weren't for her constant and extreme paleness, she could have been considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. She had with her an attendant, or a humble companion, whose only job seemed to be to take care of her. This woman, who was reserved and sounded like a foreigner, was about fifty years old and was referred to by the lady as Monna Paula, while Master Heriot and others called her Mademoiselle Pauline. She slept in the same room as her mistress at night, dined in her quarters, and was hardly ever apart from her during the day.

These females took possession of the nunnery of the devout Abbess, and, without observing the same rigorous seclusion, according to the letter, seemed wellnigh to restore the apartments to the use to which they had been originally designed. The new inmates lived and took their meals apart from the rest of the family. With the domestics Lady Hermione, for so she was termed, held no communication, and Mademoiselle Pauline only such as was indispensable, which she dispatched as briefly as possible. Frequent and liberal largesses reconciled the servants to this conduct; and they were in the habit of observing to each other, that to do a service for Mademoiselle Pauline, was like finding a fairy treasure.

These women took over the nunnery of the devoted Abbess and, without following the same strict seclusion as before, seemed almost to bring the rooms back to their original purpose. The new residents lived and ate separately from the rest of the household. Lady Hermione, as she was called, had no interaction with the staff, and Mademoiselle Pauline only communicated with them as little as necessary, doing so as briefly as she could. Frequent and generous gifts made the staff more accepting of this behavior, and they often remarked to each other that doing a favor for Mademoiselle Pauline felt like discovering a hidden treasure.

To Aunt Judith the Lady Hermione was kind and civil, but their intercourse was rare; on which account the elder lady felt some pangs both of curiosity and injured dignity. But she knew her brother so well, and loved him so dearly, that his will, once expressed, might be truly said to become her own. The worthy citizen was not without a spice of the dogmatism which grows on the best disposition, when a word is a law to all around. Master George did not endure to be questioned by his family, and, when he had generally expressed his will, that the Lady Hermione should live in the way most agreeable to her, and that no inquiries should be made concerning their history, or her motives for observing such strict seclusion, his sister well knew that he would have been seriously displeased with any attempt to pry into the secret.

To Aunt Judith, Lady Hermione was polite and respectful, but their interactions were infrequent; this made the older lady feel some mix of curiosity and wounded pride. However, she understood her brother deeply and loved him so much that once he had made his wishes clear, they truly became her own. The respectable citizen was not without a hint of the stubbornness that often accompanies a good nature when a word becomes law for everyone around him. Master George did not tolerate questioning from his family, and once he had generally stated that Lady Hermione should live in whatever way suited her best, and that no inquiries should be made about her past or her reasons for maintaining such strict seclusion, his sister knew he would be genuinely upset by any attempts to uncover the truth.

But, though Heriot's servants were bribed, and his sister awed into silent acquiescence in these arrangements, they were not of a nature to escape the critical observation of the neighbourhood. Some opined that the wealthy goldsmith was about to turn papist, and re-establish Lady Foljambe's nunnery—others that he was going mad—others that he was either going to marry, or to do worse. Master George's constant appearance at church, and the knowledge that the supposed votaress always attended when the prayers of the English ritual were read in the family, liberated him from the first of these suspicions; those who had to transact business with him upon 'Change, could not doubt the soundness of Master Heriot's mind; and, to confute the other rumours, it was credibly reported by such as made the matter their particular interest, that Master George Heriot never visited his guest but in presence of Mademoiselle Pauline, who sat with her work in a remote part of the same room in which they conversed. It was also ascertained that these visits scarcely ever exceeded an hour in length, and were usually only repeated once a week, an intercourse too brief and too long interrupted, to render it probable that love was the bond of their union.

But even though Heriot's servants were bribed and his sister intimidated into agreeing with these plans, they couldn’t hide from the watchful eyes of the neighborhood. Some people thought the rich goldsmith was about to convert to Catholicism and revive Lady Foljambe's nunnery; others believed he was losing his sanity; and some speculated he was either about to marry or do something even worse. Master George's regular attendance at church and the fact that the supposed devotee always showed up for the English ritual prayers at home cleared him of the first suspicion. Those who had business dealings with him on the exchange had no doubts about Master Heriot's sanity; and to dispel the other rumors, it was reliably reported by those who took a particular interest in the matter that Master George Heriot only visited his guest in the presence of Mademoiselle Pauline, who worked quietly in a distant corner of the same room where they talked. It was also confirmed that these visits rarely lasted more than an hour and usually only occurred once a week, an interaction too short and infrequent to suggest that love was the reason for their meetings.

The inquirers were, therefore, at fault, and compelled to relinquish the pursuit of Master Heriot's secret, while a thousand ridiculous tales were circulated amongst the ignorant and superstitious, with some specimens of which our friend Richie Moniplies had been crammed, as we have seen, by the malicious apprentice of worthy David Ramsay.

The inquirers were, therefore, in the wrong, and forced to give up their search for Master Heriot's secret, while a thousand absurd stories spread among the uninformed and superstitious, some of which our friend Richie Moniplies had been stuffed with, as we've seen, by the malicious apprentice of the respectable David Ramsay.

There was one person in the world who, it was thought, could (if she would) have said more of the Lady Hermione than any one in London, except George Heriot himself; and that was the said David Ramsay's only child, Margaret.

There was one person in the world who, it was believed, could (if she wanted to) have said more about Lady Hermione than anyone else in London, except for George Heriot himself; and that was David Ramsay's only child, Margaret.

This girl was not much past the age of fifteen when the Lady Hermione first came to England, and was a very frequent visitor at her godfather's, who was much amused by her childish sallies, and by the wild and natural beauty with which she sung the airs of her native country. Spoilt she was on all hands; by the indulgence of her godfather, the absent habits and indifference of her father, and the deference of all around to her caprices, as a beauty and as an heiress. But though, from these circumstances, the city-beauty had become as wilful, as capricious, and as affected, as unlimited indulgence seldom fails to render those to whom it is extended; and although she exhibited upon many occasions that affectation of extreme shyness, silence, and reserve, which misses in their teens are apt to take for an amiable modesty; and, upon others, a considerable portion of that flippancy, which youth sometimes confounds with wit, Mistress Margaret had much real shrewdness and judgment, which wanted only opportunities of observation to refine it—a lively, good-humoured, playful disposition, and an excellent heart. Her acquired follies were much increased by reading plays and romances, to which she devoted a great deal of her time, and from which she adopted ideas as different as possible from those which she might have obtained from the invaluable and affectionate instructions of an excellent mother; and the freaks of which she was sometimes guilty, rendered her not unjustly liable to the charge of affectation and coquetry. But the little lass had sense and shrewdness enough to keep her failings out of sight of her godfather, to whom she was sincerely attached; and so high she stood in his favour, that, at his recommendation, she obtained permission to visit the recluse Lady Hermione.

This girl was just over the age of fifteen when Lady Hermione first came to England, and she frequently visited her godfather, who was quite entertained by her childish antics and the wild, natural beauty with which she sang her country’s songs. She was spoiled by everyone: by her godfather’s indulgence, her father’s absent-mindedness and indifference, and by everyone around her who catered to her whims, thanks to her beauty and her status as an heiress. However, because of this, the city beauty had become willful, capricious, and affected, which unlimited indulgence tends to create. Although she sometimes displayed a feigned extreme shyness, silence, and reserve—which young girls in their teens often mistake for charming modesty—at other times, she showed a good deal of that brashness that youth sometimes confuses with wit. Mistress Margaret was actually quite perceptive and thoughtful, needing just the right opportunities to hone her insights. She had a lively, cheerful spirit and a kind heart. Her acquired quirks grew from spending a lot of time reading plays and romances, which led her to adopt ideas that were wildly different from what she might have gained from the loving guidance of an excellent mother. The antics she occasionally displayed made her fairly subject to accusations of being affected and flirtatious. But the little girl had enough sense and shrewdness to keep her faults hidden from her godfather, to whom she was genuinely attached, and she was held in such high regard by him that, at his suggestion, she received permission to visit the reclusive Lady Hermione.

The singular mode of life which that lady observed; her great beauty, rendered even more interesting by her extreme paleness; the conscious pride of being admitted farther than the rest of the world into the society of a person who was wrapped in so much mystery, made a deep impression on the mind of Margaret Ramsay; and though their conversations were at no time either long or confidential, yet, proud of the trust reposed in her, Margaret was as secret respecting their tenor as if every word repeated had been to cost her life. No inquiry, however artfully backed by flattery and insinuation, whether on the part of Dame Ursula, or any other person equally inquisitive, could wring from the little maiden one word of what she heard or saw, after she entered these mysterious and secluded apartments. The slightest question concerning Master Heriot's ghost, was sufficient, at her gayest moment, to check the current of her communicative prattle, and render her silent.

The unique lifestyle that lady lived; her stunning beauty, made even more intriguing by her extreme paleness; the aware pride of being let into the inner circle of someone so mysterious, left a strong impression on Margaret Ramsay. Even though their conversations were never very long or personal, Margaret felt honored by the trust placed in her and kept their discussions just as secret as if her life depended on it. No matter how cleverly someone, like Dame Ursula, tried to pry information out of her using flattery and subtle hints, Margaret never revealed a word about what she heard or saw once she entered those mysterious, secluded rooms. Even the smallest question about Master Heriot's ghost was enough, even when she was at her most cheerful, to stop her from chatting and leave her silent.

We mention this, chiefly to illustrate the early strength of Margaret's character—a strength concealed under a hundred freakish whims and humours, as an ancient and massive buttress is disguised by its fantastic covering of ivy and wildflowers. In truth, if the damsel had told all she heard or saw within the Foljambe apartments, she would have said but little to gratify the curiosity of inquirers.

We mention this mainly to show the early strength of Margaret's character—a strength hidden beneath a hundred quirky habits and moods, like a sturdy old buttress covered in a wild array of ivy and flowers. In reality, if the young woman had shared everything she heard or saw in the Foljambe apartments, there would have been little to satisfy the curiosity of those asking.

At the earlier period of their acquaintance, the Lady Hermione was wont to reward the attentions of her little friend with small but elegant presents, and entertain her by a display of foreign rarities and curiosities, many of them of considerable value. Sometimes the time was passed in a way much less agreeable to Margaret, by her receiving lessons from Pauline in the use of the needle. But, although her preceptress practised these arts with a dexterity then only known in foreign convents, the pupil proved so incorrigibly idle and awkward, that the task of needlework was at length given up, and lessons of music substituted in their stead. Here also Pauline was excellently qualified as an instructress, and Margaret, more successful in a science for which Nature had gifted her, made proficiency both in vocal and instrumental music. These lessons passed in presence of the Lady Hermione, to whom they seemed to give pleasure. She sometimes added her own voice to the performance, in a pure, clear stream of liquid melody; but this was only when the music was of a devotional cast. As Margaret became older, her communications with the recluse assumed a different character. She was allowed, if not encouraged, to tell whatever she had remarked out of doors, and the Lady Hermione, while she remarked the quick, sharp, and retentive powers of observation possessed by her young friend, often found sufficient reason to caution her against rashness in forming opinions, and giddy petulance in expressing them.

At the beginning of their friendship, Lady Hermione would reward her young friend with small but classy gifts and entertain her with a mix of foreign treasures and curiosities, many of which were quite valuable. Sometimes, though, Margaret found her time spent less enjoyable as she received needlework lessons from Pauline. Despite Pauline's skill in these arts, typically seen only in foreign convents, Margaret was so hopelessly lazy and clumsy that they eventually gave up on needlework and switched to music lessons instead. Here, Pauline was very qualified as an instructor, and since Margaret had a natural talent for it, she excelled in both singing and playing instruments. These lessons took place in front of Lady Hermione, who seemed to enjoy them. She would occasionally join in with her own voice, producing a pure, clear stream of lovely melody, but only when the music had a spiritual theme. As Margaret grew older, her conversations with the recluse changed. She was allowed, if not encouraged, to share whatever she had seen outside, and Lady Hermione, noticing her young friend's keen and sharp powers of observation, often had to warn her against making hasty conclusions and carelessly sharing her thoughts.

The habitual awe with which she regarded this singular personage, induced Mistress Margaret, though by no means delighting in contradiction or reproof, to listen with patience to her admonitions, and to make full allowance for the good intentions of the patroness by whom they were bestowed; although in her heart she could hardly conceive how Madame Hermione, who never stirred from the Foljambe apartments, should think of teaching knowledge of the world to one who walked twice a-week between Temple Bar and Lombard Street, besides parading in the Park every Sunday that proved to be fair weather. Indeed, pretty Mistress Margaret was so little inclined to endure such remonstrances, that her intercourse with the inhabitants of the Foljambe apartments would have probably slackened as her circle of acquaintance increased in the external world, had she not, on the one hand, entertained an habitual reverence for her monitress, of which she could not divest herself, and been flattered, on the other, by being to a certain degree the depository of a confidence for which others thirsted in vain. Besides, although the conversation of Hermione was uniformly serious, it was not in general either formal or severe; nor was the lady offended by flights of levity which Mistress Margaret sometimes ventured on in her presence, even when they were such as made Monna Paula cast her eyes upwards, and sigh with that compassion which a devotee extends towards the votaries of a trivial and profane world. Thus, upon the whole, the little maiden was disposed to submit, though not without some wincing, to the grave admonitions of the Lady Hermione; and the rather that the mystery annexed to the person of her monitress was in her mind early associated with a vague idea of wealth and importance, which had been rather confirmed than lessened by many accidental circumstances which she had noticed since she was more capable of observation.

The constant admiration with which she viewed this unique person led Mistress Margaret, who didn’t particularly enjoy disagreement or correction, to patiently listen to her advice and consider the good intentions of the patroness who offered it. Yet, deep down, she struggled to understand how Madame Hermione, who never left the Foljambe apartments, could think of teaching someone about the world when she herself walked twice a week between Temple Bar and Lombard Street and strolled in the Park every sunny Sunday. In fact, pretty Mistress Margaret was so unlikely to tolerate such criticisms that her interactions with the residents of the Foljambe apartments would likely have diminished as her social circle expanded in the outside world. This was only prevented because she had a deep-seated respect for her mentor, which she couldn’t shake off, and felt flattered to be somewhat of a confidante for something that others longed for in vain. Moreover, while Hermione’s conversations were always serious, they weren’t typically formal or harsh; nor did the lady take offense at the moments of lightheartedness that Mistress Margaret occasionally displayed in her presence, even when they made Monna Paula roll her eyes and sigh with the kind of pity one offers to people caught up in a shallow and worldly life. Overall, the little maiden was inclined to submit—though not without some discomfort—to the serious advice of Lady Hermione, especially since the mystery surrounding her mentor was linked in her mind to a vague notion of wealth and significance, which was only reinforced by various chance observations she’d made as she became more aware of her surroundings.

It frequently happens, that the counsel which we reckon intrusive when offered to us unasked, becomes precious in our eyes when the pressure of difficulties renders us more diffident of our own judgment than we are apt to find ourselves in the hours of ease and indifference; and this is more especially the case if we suppose that our adviser may also possess power and inclination to back his counsel with effectual assistance. Mistress Margaret was now in that situation. She was, or believed herself to be, in a condition where both advice and assistance might be necessary; and it was therefore, after an anxious and sleepless night, that she resolved to have recourse to the Lady Hermione, who she knew would readily afford her the one, and, as she hoped, might also possess means of giving her the other. The conversation between them will best explain the purport of the visit.

It often happens that advice we consider unwelcome when given without request becomes valuable to us when we're facing difficulties that make us doubt our own judgment more than we usually would during easier, carefree times. This is especially true if we think that the person giving the advice may also have the power and desire to provide effective help. Mistress Margaret was in that situation. She was, or believed she was, in a place where she might need both advice and assistance; and after a night full of worry and sleeplessness, she decided to turn to Lady Hermione, who she knew would readily give her advice and, she hoped, might also have the means to offer help. The conversation between them will best explain the purpose of the visit.










CHAPTER XIX

  By this good light, a wench of matchless mettle!
  This were a leaguer-lass to love a soldier,
  To bind his wounds, and kiss his bloody brow,
  And sing a roundel as she help'd to arm him,
  Though the rough foeman's drums were beat so nigh,
  They seem'd to bear the burden.
                               Old Play.
  By this good light, what a girl of unmatched courage!
  She would be the perfect girl to love a soldier,
  To bandage his wounds and kiss his bloody forehead,
  And sing a song while she helped to dress him,
  Even though the enemy's drums were beating so close,
  They seemed to carry the weight of it all.
                               Old Play.

When Mistress Margaret entered the Foljambe apartment, she found the inmates employed in their usual manner; the lady in reading, and her attendant in embroidering a large piece of tapestry, which had occupied her ever since Margaret had been first admitted within these secluded chambers.

When Mistress Margaret walked into the Foljambe apartment, she found the residents doing their usual things: the lady was reading, and her attendant was busy embroidering a large piece of tapestry that she had been working on ever since Margaret was first allowed into these quiet rooms.

Hermione nodded kindly to her visitor, but did not speak; and Margaret, accustomed to this reception, and in the present case not sorry for it, as it gave her an interval to collect her thoughts, stooped over Monna Paula's frame and observed, in a half whisper, “You were just so far as that rose, Monna, when I first saw you—see, there is the mark where I had the bad luck to spoil the flower in trying to catch the stitch—I was little above fifteen then. These flowers make me an old woman, Monna Paula.”

Hermione nodded kindly at her visitor but didn’t say anything; and Margaret, used to this kind of reception and not minding it this time since it gave her a moment to gather her thoughts, leaned over Monna Paula’s frame and said softly, “You were just as far along as that rose, Monna, when I first saw you—look, there’s the spot where I accidentally ruined the flower trying to catch the stitch—I was just over fifteen then. These flowers make me feel like an old woman, Monna Paula.”

“I wish they could make you a wise one, my child,” answered Monna Paula, in whose esteem pretty Mistress Margaret did not stand quite so high as in that of her patroness; partly owing to her natural austerity, which was something intolerant of youth and gaiety, and partly to the jealousy with which a favourite domestic regards any one whom she considers as a sort of rival in the affections of her mistress.

“I wish they could make you wise, my child,” replied Monna Paula, who didn’t hold pretty Mistress Margaret in as high regard as her patroness did. This was partly due to her natural seriousness, which was somewhat intolerant of youth and cheerfulness, and partly because of the jealousy that a favored servant feels towards anyone she sees as a rival for her mistress’s affection.

“What is it you say to Monna, little one?” asked the lady.

“What do you say to Monna, little one?” asked the lady.

“Nothing, madam,” replied Mistress Margaret, “but that I have seen the real flowers blossom three times over since I first saw Monna Paula working in her canvass garden, and her violets have not budded yet.”

“Nothing, ma'am,” replied Mistress Margaret, “except that I’ve seen the real flowers bloom three times since I first saw Monna Paula working in her canvas garden, and her violets still haven’t bloomed yet.”

“True, lady-bird,” replied Hermione; “but the buds that are longest in blossoming will last the longest in flower. You have seen them in the garden bloom thrice, but you have seen them fade thrice also; now, Monna Paula's will remain in blow for ever—they will fear neither frost nor tempest.”

“That's true, ladybug,” replied Hermione; “but the buds that take the longest to bloom will last the longest once they do. You've watched them bloom three times in the garden, but you've seen them fade three times too; now, Monna Paula's will stay in bloom forever—they won’t fear frost or storms.”

“True, madam,” answered Mistress Margaret; “but neither have they life or odour.”

“That's true, ma'am,” replied Mistress Margaret; “but they have neither life nor scent.”

“That, little one,” replied the recluse, “is to compare a life agitated by hope and fear, and chequered with success and disappointment, and fevered by the effects of love and hatred, a life of passion and of feeling, saddened and shortened by its exhausting alternations, to a calm and tranquil existence, animated but by a sense of duties, and only employed, during its smooth and quiet course, in the unwearied discharge of them. Is that the moral of your answer?”

“That, little one,” replied the recluse, “is to compare a life filled with hope and fear, marked by success and disappointment, and heated by the effects of love and hatred—a life of passion and emotion, made heavy and short by its exhausting ups and downs—to a calm and peaceful existence, driven only by a sense of duty, and spent, during its smooth and quiet journey, in the tireless fulfillment of those duties. Is that the moral of your answer?”

“I do not know, madam,” answered Mistress Margaret; “but, of all birds in the air, I would rather be the lark, that sings while he is drifting down the summer breeze, than the weathercock that sticks fast yonder upon his iron perch, and just moves so much as to discharge his duty, and tell us which way the wind blows.”

“I don’t know, ma'am,” replied Mistress Margaret; “but out of all the birds in the sky, I’d much rather be the lark that sings while gliding on the summer breeze than the weather vane stuck over there on its metal perch, moving just enough to show us which way the wind is blowing.”

“Metaphors are no arguments, my pretty maiden,” said the Lady Hermione, smiling.

“Metaphors aren’t arguments, my lovely maiden,” said Lady Hermione, smiling.

“I am sorry for that, madam,” answered Margaret; “for they are such a pretty indirect way of telling one's mind when it differs from one's betters—besides, on this subject there is no end of them, and they are so civil and becoming withal.”

“I apologize for that, ma'am,” replied Margaret; “because they are such a lovely, subtle way of expressing one's thoughts when they differ from those in higher positions—besides, there are countless of them on this subject, and they are so polite and fitting as well.”

“Indeed?” replied the lady; “let me hear some of them, I pray you.”

“Really?” replied the lady. “Please let me hear some of them.”

“It would be, for example, very bold in me,” said Margaret, “to say to your ladyship, that, rather than live a quiet life, I would like a little variety of hope and fear, and liking and disliking—and—and—and the other sort of feelings which your ladyship is pleased to speak of; but I may say freely, and without blame, that I like a butterfly better than a bettle, or a trembling aspen better than a grim Scots fir, that never wags a leaf—or that of all the wood, brass, and wire that ever my father's fingers put together, I do hate and detest a certain huge old clock of the German fashion, that rings hours and half hours, and quarters and half quarters, as if it were of such consequence that the world should know it was wound up and going. Now, dearest lady, I wish you would only compare that clumsy, clanging, Dutch-looking piece of lumber, with the beautiful timepiece that Master Heriot caused my father to make for your ladyship, which uses to play a hundred merry tunes, and turns out, when it strikes the hour, a whole band of morrice dancers, to trip the hays to the measure.”

“It would be pretty bold of me,” said Margaret, “to tell you, my lady, that rather than live a quiet life, I’d prefer a bit of ups and downs, love and dislike, and all those other feelings you like to talk about; but I can say openly, without any blame, that I like a butterfly more than a beetle, or a quaking aspen more than a stern Scots fir that never moves a leaf—or that of all the wood, brass, and wire my father ever put together, I truly hate a certain enormous old German clock that chimes the hours, half hours, quarters, and half quarters, as if it were so important that the world should know it was wound up and working. Now, dear lady, I wish you would just compare that awkward, noisy, Dutch-looking piece of junk with the beautiful clock that Master Heriot had my father make for you, which plays a hundred cheerful tunes and reveals a whole group of morris dancers to dance to the music when it strikes the hour.”

“And which of these timepieces goes the truest, Margaret?” said the lady.

“And which of these watches keeps the best time, Margaret?” said the lady.

“I must confess the old Dutchman has the advantage in that”—said Margaret. “I fancy you are right, madam, and that comparisons are no arguments; at least mine has not brought me through.”

“I have to admit the old Dutchman has the upper hand in that”—said Margaret. “I think you're right, ma'am, and that comparisons aren't really valid; at least mine hasn’t worked for me.”

“Upon my word, maiden Margaret,” said the lady, smiling, “you have been of late thinking very much of these matters.”

“Honestly, Miss Margaret,” said the lady, smiling, “you've been thinking a lot about these things lately.”

“Perhaps too much, madam,” said Margaret, so low as only to be heard by the lady, behind the back of whose chair she had now placed herself. The words were spoken very gravely, and accompanied by a half sigh, which did not escape the attention of her to whom they were addressed. The Lady Hermione turned immediately round, and looked earnestly at Margaret, then paused for a moment, and, finally, commanded Monna Paula to carry her frame and embroidery into the antechamber. When they were left alone, she desired her young friend to come from behind the chair on the back of which she still rested, and sit down beside her upon a stool.

“Maybe too much, ma'am,” said Margaret quietly, so only the lady could hear her as she positioned herself behind the back of the lady's chair. Her tone was serious, and she let out a slight sigh that didn’t go unnoticed. Lady Hermione turned around immediately, gazing intently at Margaret, then paused for a moment before telling Monna Paula to take her frame and embroidery into the antechamber. Once they were alone, she motioned for her young friend to come from behind the chair and sit down next to her on a stool.

“I will remain thus, madam, under your favour,” answered Margaret, without changing her posture; “I would rather you heard me without seeing me.”

“I'll stay like this, ma'am, if it's alright with you,” Margaret replied, not changing her position; “I’d prefer you listened to me without looking at me.”

“In God's name, maiden,” returned her patroness, “what is it you can have to say, that may not be uttered face to face, to so true a friend as I am?”

“In God's name, girl,” her patroness replied, “what is it that you have to say that can’t be shared face to face with a true friend like me?”

Without making any direct answer, Margaret only replied, “You were right, dearest lady, when you said, I had suffered my feelings too much to engross me of late. I have done very wrong, and you will be angry with me—so will my godfather, but I cannot help it—he must be rescued.”

Without giving a direct answer, Margaret simply replied, “You were right, dear lady, when you said that I've been so caught up in my feelings lately. I've made a big mistake, and you will be upset with me—so will my godfather, but I can't help it—he has to be saved.”

He?” repeated the lady, with emphasis; “that brief little word does, indeed, so far explain your mystery;—but come from behind the chair, you silly popinjay! I will wager you have suffered yonder gay young apprentice to sit too near your heart. I have not heard you mention young Vincent for many a day—perhaps he has not been out of mouth and out of mind both. Have you been so foolish as to let him speak to you seriously?—I am told he is a bold youth.”

He?” the lady repeated, emphasizing the word; “that tiny little word does, in fact, shed some light on your mystery;—but come out from behind the chair, you silly show-off! I bet you've allowed that charming young apprentice to get too close to your heart. I haven’t heard you mention young Vincent in ages—maybe he hasn’t been far from your mind and your lips at all. Have you been foolish enough to let him talk to you seriously?—I’ve heard he’s quite the bold young man.”

“Not bold enough to say any thing that could displease me, madam,” said Margaret.

“Not brave enough to say anything that might upset me, ma'am,” said Margaret.

“Perhaps, then, you were not displeased,” said the lady; “or perhaps he has not spoken, which would be wiser and better. Be open-hearted, my love—your godfather will soon return, and we will take him into our consultations. If the young man is industrious, and come of honest parentage, his poverty may be no such insurmountable obstacle. But you are both of you very young, Margaret—I know your godfather will expect, that the youth shall first serve out his apprenticeship.”

“Maybe you weren’t that displeased,” said the woman; “or maybe he hasn’t said anything, which would be smarter and better. Open up to me, my love—your godfather will be back soon, and we’ll include him in our discussions. If the young man works hard and comes from a good family, his lack of money might not be such a huge barrier. But you both are very young, Margaret—I know your godfather will expect the guy to complete his apprenticeship first.”

Margaret had hitherto suffered the lady to proceed, under the mistaken impression which she had adopted, simply because she could not tell how to interrupt her; but pure despite at hearing her last words gave her boldness at length to say “I crave your pardon, madam; but neither the youth you mention, nor any apprentice or master within the city of London—”

Margaret had previously allowed the lady to continue, under the false impression she had taken on, simply because she didn’t know how to interrupt her; but her annoyance at hearing the lady's last words finally gave her the courage to say, “I’m sorry, ma’am; but neither the young man you mentioned, nor any apprentice or master in the city of London—”

“Margaret,” said the lady, in reply, “the contemptuous tone with which you mention those of your own class, (many hundreds if not thousands of whom are in all respects better than yourself, and would greatly honour you by thinking of you,) is methinks, no warrant for the wisdom of your choice—for a choice, it seems, there is. Who is it, maiden, to whom you have thus rashly attached yourself?—rashly, I fear it must be.”

“Margaret,” the lady replied, “the dismissive way you talk about those in your own class—many hundreds, if not thousands, of whom are in every way better than you and would be proud to think of you—is, I think, not a good reason to justify your choice. It seems there is a choice, after all. Who is this person you’ve so thoughtlessly attached yourself to? I fear it was a thoughtless decision.”

“It is the young Scottish Lord Glenvarloch, madam,” answered Margaret, in a low and modest tone, but sufficiently firm, considering the subject.

“It’s the young Scottish Lord Glenvarloch, ma'am,” replied Margaret, in a quiet and modest tone, but strong enough given the topic.

“The young Lord of Glenvarloch!” repeated the lady, in great surprise—“Maiden, you are distracted in your wits.”

“The young Lord of Glenvarloch!” the lady exclaimed in surprise. “Girl, you must be out of your mind.”

“I knew you would say so, madam,” answered Margaret. “It is what another person has already told me—it is, perhaps, what all the world would tell me—it is what I am sometimes disposed to tell myself. But look at me, madam, for I will now come before you, and tell me if there is madness or distraction in my look and word, when I repeat to you again, that I have fixed my affections on this young nobleman.”

“I knew you would say that, ma'am,” replied Margaret. “It's what someone else has already told me—it's probably what everyone would say to me—it's something I sometimes tell myself. But look at me, ma'am, because I'm going to step forward, and tell me if there's any madness or craziness in my expression or words when I tell you again that I have set my heart on this young nobleman.”

“If there is not madness in your look or word, maiden, there is infinite folly in what you say,” answered the Lady Hermione, sharply. “When did you ever hear that misplaced love brought any thing but wretchedness? Seek a match among your equals, Margaret, and escape the countless kinds of risk and misery that must attend an affection beyond your degree.—Why do you smile, maiden? Is there aught to cause scorn in what I say?”

“If there isn’t any craziness in your gaze or words, young lady, then what you’re saying is completely foolish,” replied Lady Hermione, sharply. “When have you ever heard of misplaced love bringing anything but misery? Look for a partner among your own kind, Margaret, and avoid the many dangers and heartaches that come with loving someone above your station. —Why are you smiling, young lady? Is there something to mock in what I’m saying?”

“Surely no, madam,” answered Margaret. “I only smiled to think how it should happen, that, while rank made such a wide difference between creatures formed from the same clay, the wit of the vulgar should, nevertheless, jump so exactly the same length with that of the accomplished and the exalted. It is but the variation of the phrase which divides them. Dame Ursley told me the very same thing which your ladyship has but now uttered; only you, madam, talk of countless misery, and Dame Ursley spoke of the gallows, and Mistress Turner, who was hanged upon it.”

“Of course not, madam,” replied Margaret. “I just smiled at the thought of how it's strange that, even though rank creates such a big difference between people made from the same clay, the common folks’ wit can actually match that of the refined and the noble. It's just the choice of words that separates them. Dame Ursley told me the exact same thing that you just mentioned; the only difference is that you, madam, speak of endless suffering, while Dame Ursley talked about the gallows, and Mistress Turner, who was executed on it.”

“Indeed?” answered the Lady Hermione; “and who may Dame Ursley be, that your wise choice has associated with me in the difficult task of advising a fool?”

“Really?” replied Lady Hermione. “And who is Dame Ursley, that your wise choice has paired me with in the tough job of advising a fool?”

“The barber's wife at next door, madam,” answered Margaret, with feigned simplicity, but far from being sorry at heart, that she had found an indirect mode of mortifying her monitress. “She is the wisest woman that I know, next to your ladyship.”

“The barber's wife next door, ma'am,” Margaret replied, pretending to be simple-minded, but she wasn't truly sorry inside to have found a subtle way to embarrass her mentor. “She's the smartest woman I know, aside from you, my lady.”

“A proper confidant,” said the lady, “and chosen with the same delicate sense of what is due to yourself and others!—But what ails you, maiden—where are you going?”

“A true confidant,” said the lady, “and selected with the same careful consideration for yourself and others!—But what’s wrong with you, girl—where are you headed?”

“Only to ask Dame Ursley's advice,” said Margaret, as if about to depart; “for I see your ladyship is too angry to give me any, and the emergency is pressing.”

“I'm just here to ask Dame Ursley's advice,” said Margaret, preparing to leave; “because I can tell you're too upset to offer me any, and the situation is urgent.”

“What emergency, thou simple one?” said the lady, in a kinder tone.—“Sit down, maiden, and tell me your tale. It is true you are a fool, and a pettish fool to boot; but then you are a child—an amiable child, with all your self-willed folly, and we must help you, if we can.—Sit down, I say, as you are desired, and you will find me a safer and wiser counseller than the barber-woman. And tell me how you come to suppose, that you have fixed your heart unalterably upon a man whom you have seen, as I think, but once.”

“What emergency is it, you silly girl?” said the lady, in a gentler tone. “Sit down, young lady, and share your story. It's true you're a bit of a fool, and a spoiled fool at that; but you're still a child—an endearing child, with all your stubborn nonsense, and we should help you, if we can. Sit down, I insist, as you've been asked, and you'll find me a safer and wiser advisor than the barber-woman. And tell me how you came to believe that you've fixed your heart forever on a man you've only seen, I think, just once.”

“I have seen him oftener,” said the damsel, looking down; “but I have only spoken to him once. I should have been able to get that once out of my head, though the impression was so deep, that I could even now repeat every trifling word he said; but other things have since riveted it in my bosom for ever.”

“I've seen him more often,” said the young woman, looking down; “but I’ve only talked to him once. I should have been able to forget that one time, but the impression was so strong that I can still recite every little word he said; however, other things have since made sure it stays in my heart forever.”

“Maiden,” replied the lady, “for ever is the word which comes most lightly on the lips in such circumstances, but which, not the less, is almost the last that we should use. The fashion of this world, its passions, its joys, and its sorrows, pass away like the winged breeze—there is nought for ever but that which belongs to the world beyond the grave.”

“Maiden,” the lady replied, “forever is the word that slips off the tongue most easily in situations like this, but it’s one of the last words we should really use. The trends of this world, its feelings, its happiness, and its pain fade away like a fleeting breeze—nothing lasts forever except what belongs to the world beyond the grave.”

“You have corrected me justly, madam,” said Margaret calmly; “I ought only to have spoken of my present state of mind, as what will last me for my lifetime, which unquestionably may be but short.”

“You've pointed that out correctly, ma'am,” Margaret said calmly. “I should have only talked about my current state of mind, as it's what will stay with me for my lifetime, which may very well be short.”

“And what is there in this Scottish lord that can rivet what concerns him so closely in your fancy?” said the lady. “I admit him a personable man, for I have seen him; and I will suppose him courteous and agreeable. But what are his accomplishments besides, for these surely are not uncommon attributes.”

“And what is it about this Scottish lord that captures your imagination so much?” said the lady. “I admit he’s an attractive man, because I’ve seen him; and I’ll assume he’s polite and pleasant. But what else does he have to offer? Those certainly aren’t rare qualities.”

“He is unfortunate, madam—most unfortunate—and surrounded by snares of different kinds, ingeniously contrived to ruin his character, destroy his estate, and, perhaps, to reach even his life. These schemes have been devised by avarice originally, but they are now followed close by vindictive ambition, animated, I think, by the absolute and concentrated spirit of malice; for the Lord Dalgarno—”

“He’s in a tough spot, ma'am—really unfortunate—and surrounded by all sorts of traps, cleverly designed to ruin his reputation, wipe out his wealth, and maybe even threaten his life. These plots were initially created out of greed, but now they’re fueled by a ruthless desire for revenge, driven, I believe, by pure malice; because Lord Dalgarno—”

“Here, Monna Paula—Monna Paula!” exclaimed the Lady Hermione, interrupting her young friend's narrative. “She hears me not,” she answered, rising and going out, “I must seek her—I will return instantly.” She returned accordingly very soon after. “You mentioned a name which I thought was familiar to me,” she said; “but Monna Paula has put me right. I know nothing of your lord—how was it you named him?”

“Here, Monna Paula—Monna Paula!” exclaimed Lady Hermione, interrupting her young friend’s story. “She doesn’t hear me,” she replied, getting up and heading outside. “I have to look for her—I’ll be back right away.” She returned shortly after. “You mentioned a name that sounded familiar to me,” she said. “But Monna Paula has cleared that up. I don’t know anything about your lord—how did you refer to him?”

“Lord Dalgarno,” said Margaret;—“the wickedest man who lives. Under pretence of friendship, he introduced the Lord Glenvarloch to a gambling-house with the purpose of engaging him in deep play; but he with whom the perfidious traitor had to deal, was too virtuous, moderate, and cautious, to be caught in a snare so open. What did they next, but turn his own moderation against him, and persuade others that—because he would not become the prey of wolves, he herded with them for a share of their booty! And, while this base Lord Dalgarno was thus undermining his unsuspecting countryman, he took every measure to keep him surrounded by creatures of his own, to prevent him from attending Court, and mixing with those of his proper rank. Since the Gunpowder Treason, there never was a conspiracy more deeply laid, more basely and more deliberately pursued.”

“Lord Dalgarno,” said Margaret, “is the most wicked man alive. Under the guise of friendship, he brought Lord Glenvarloch to a gambling house to lure him into heavy betting. But the person he was dealing with was too virtuous, moderate, and cautious to fall for such an obvious trap. What did they do next? They twisted his moderation against him, convincing others that because he didn’t want to be preyed upon by wolves, he was actually hanging out with them to get a slice of their loot! While this treacherous Lord Dalgarno was undermining his unsuspecting fellow countryman, he took every step to surround him with his own people, preventing him from attending Court and associating with those of his own rank. Since the Gunpowder Treason, there hasn't been a conspiracy so carefully plotted, so vilely and deliberately carried out.”

The lady smiled sadly at Margaret's vehemence, but sighed the next moment, while she told her young friend how little she knew the world she was about to live in, since she testified so much surprise at finding it full of villainy.

The lady smiled sadly at Margaret's intensity but sighed a moment later as she explained to her young friend how little she understood the world she was about to enter, since she showed so much surprise at discovering it was filled with evil.

“But by what means,” she added, “could you, maiden, become possessed of the secret views of a man so cautious as Lord Dalgarno—as villains in general are?”

“But how,” she continued, “could you, young lady, know the hidden intentions of a man as careful as Lord Dalgarno—as villains typically are?”

“Permit me to be silent on that subject,” said the maiden; “I could not tell you without betraying others—let it suffice that my tidings are as certain as the means by which I acquired them are secret and sure. But I must not tell them even to you.”

“Let me stay quiet about that,” said the young woman. “I can’t tell you without putting others at risk—just know that my news is as trustworthy as the way I got it is confidential and guaranteed. But I can’t share it, even with you.”

“You are too bold, Margaret,” said the lady, “to traffic in such matters at your early age. It is not only dangerous, but even unbecoming and unmaidenly.”

“You're being too bold, Margaret,” said the lady, “to get involved in such matters at your young age. It’s not just dangerous, but also inappropriate and unbecoming for a young woman.”

“I knew you would say that also,” said Margaret, with more meekness and patience than she usually showed on receiving reproof; “but, God knows, my heart acquits me of every other feeling save that of the wish to assist this most innocent and betrayed man.—I contrived to send him warning of his friend's falsehood;—alas! my care has only hastened his utter ruin, unless speedy aid be found. He charged his false friend with treachery, and drew on him in the Park, and is now liable to the fatal penalty due for breach of privilege of the king's palace.”

“I knew you would say that too,” Margaret said, showing more humility and patience than she usually did when getting scolded. “But, honestly, my heart is clear of any feeling except the desire to help this very innocent and wronged man. I managed to warn him about his friend's betrayal; sadly, my efforts have only sped up his complete downfall, unless help arrives quickly. He confronted his deceitful friend in the Park and is now facing severe consequences for violating the king's palace privilege.”

“This is indeed an extraordinary tale,” said Hermione; “is Lord Glenvarloch then in prison?”

“This is truly an amazing story,” said Hermione; “is Lord Glenvarloch really in prison?”

“No, madam, thank God, but in the Sanctuary at Whitefriars—it is matter of doubt whether it will protect him in such a case—they speak of a warrant from the Lord Chief Justice—A gentleman of the temple has been arrested, and is in trouble for having assisted him in his flight.—Even his taking temporary refuge in that base place, though from extreme necessity, will be used to the further defaming him. All this I know, and yet I cannot rescue him—cannot rescue him save by your means.”

“No, ma'am, thank God, but in the Sanctuary at Whitefriars—it’s uncertain if it will actually protect him in this situation—they’re talking about a warrant from the Lord Chief Justice. A guy from the temple has been arrested and is in trouble for helping him escape. Even his taking temporary refuge in that disreputable place, though out of dire necessity, will be used to further tarnish his name. I know all this, and yet I can’t save him—can’t save him except through your help.”

“By my means, maiden?” said the lady—“you are beside yourself!—What means can I possess in this secluded situation, of assisting this unfortunate nobleman?”

“By my means, miss?” said the lady. “You’ve lost your mind! What resources do I have in this isolated situation to help this unfortunate nobleman?”

“You have means,” said Margaret, eagerly; “you have those means, unless I mistake greatly, which can do anything—can do everything, in this city, in this world—you have wealth, and the command of a small portion of it will enable me to extricate him from his present danger. He will be enabled and directed how to make his escape—and I—” she paused.

“You have resources,” said Margaret, eagerly; “you have those resources, if I’m not mistaken, that can do anything—can do everything, in this city, in this world—you have wealth, and having control over even a small part of it will allow me to get him out of his current trouble. He will be shown how to make his escape—and I—” she paused.

“Will accompany him, doubtless, and reap the fruits of your sage exertions in his behalf?” said the Lady Hermione, ironically.

“Will you go along with him, for sure, and enjoy the rewards of your wise efforts for him?” said Lady Hermione, sarcastically.

“May heaven forgive you the unjust thought, lady,” answered Margaret. “I will never see him more—but I shall have saved him, and the thought will make me happy.”

“May heaven forgive you for that unfair thought, lady,” Margaret replied. “I will never see him again—but I’ll have saved him, and knowing that will make me happy.”

“A cold conclusion to so bold and warm a flame,” said the lady, with a smile which seemed to intimate incredulity.

“A chilly end to such a bold and warm fire,” said the lady, with a smile that seemed to suggest disbelief.

“It is, however, the only one which I expect, madam—I could almost say the only one which I wish—I am sure I will use no efforts to bring about any other; if I am bold in his cause, I am timorous enough in my own. During our only interview I was unable to speak a word to him. He knows not the sound of my voice—and all that I have risked, and must yet risk, I am doing for one, who, were he asked the question, would say he has long since forgotten that he ever saw, spoke to, or sat beside, a creature of so little signification as I am.”

“It’s the only thing I expect, madam—I could almost say the only thing I want—I’m sure I won’t make any effort to create anything else; while I can be bold for him, I’m timid enough for myself. During our one meeting, I couldn’t say a word to him. He doesn’t even know what my voice sounds like—and everything I’ve risked, and still will risk, I’m doing for someone who, if asked, would say he’s long forgotten that he ever saw, spoke to, or sat next to someone as insignificant as me.”

“This is a strange and unreasonable indulgence of a passion equally fanciful and dangerous,” said Lady Hermione. “You will not assist me, then?” said Margaret; “have good-day, then, madam—my secret, I trust, is safe in such honourable keeping.”

“This is a strange and unreasonable indulgence of a passion equally fanciful and dangerous,” said Lady Hermione. “You will not assist me, then?” said Margaret; “have a good day, then, madam—my secret, I trust, is safe in such honorable keeping.”

“Tarry yet a little,” said the lady, “and tell me what resource you have to assist this youth, if you were supplied with money to put it in motion.”

"Tarry a moment more," said the lady, "and tell me what resources you have to help this young man, if you had the money to put it into action."

“It is superfluous to ask me the question, madam,” answered Margaret, “unless you purpose to assist me; and, if you do so purpose, it is still superfluous. You could not understand the means I must use, and time is too brief to explain.”

“It's pointless to ask me that question, madam,” Margaret replied, “unless you intend to help me; and even then, it’s still pointless. You wouldn’t understand the methods I need to use, and there isn’t enough time to explain.”

“But have you in reality such means?” said the lady.

“But do you really have those means?” the lady asked.

“I have, with the command of a moderate sum,” answered Margaret Ramsay, “the power of baffling all his enemies—of eluding the passion of the irritated king—the colder but more determined displeasure of the prince—the vindictive spirit of Buckingham, so hastily directed against whomsoever crosses the path of his ambition—the cold concentrated malice of Lord Dalgarno—all, I can baffle them all!”

“I have, with a small amount of money,” replied Margaret Ramsay, “the ability to frustrate all his enemies— to dodge the anger of the irritated king—the cooler but more resolute annoyance of the prince—the vengeful attitude of Buckingham, which is quickly aimed at anyone who stands in the way of his ambition—the bitter, focused malice of Lord Dalgarno—all of them, I can frustrate them all!”

“But is this to be done without your own personal risk, Margaret?” replied the lady; “for, be your purpose what it will, you are not to peril your own reputation or person, in the romantic attempt of serving another; and I, maiden, am answerable to your godfather,—to your benefactor, and my own,—not to aid you in any dangerous or unworthy enterprise.”

“But should you do this without putting yourself at risk, Margaret?” the lady replied. “No matter what your intentions are, you shouldn’t jeopardize your own reputation or safety in a fanciful attempt to help someone else. And I, young lady, am responsible to your godfather—your benefactor, as well as my own—not to support you in any dangerous or questionable undertaking.”

“Depend upon my word,—my oath,—dearest lady,” replied the supplicant, “that I will act by the agency of others, and do not myself design to mingle in any enterprise in which my appearance might be either perilous or unwomanly.”

“Trust my word—my oath—dear lady,” the supplicant replied, “that I will rely on others and don’t plan to get involved in any situation where my presence might be dangerous or unladylike.”

“I know not what to do,” said the Lady Hermione; “it is perhaps incautious and inconsiderate in me to aid so wild a project; yet the end seems honourable, if the means be sure—what is the penalty if he fall into their power?”

“I don't know what to do,” said Lady Hermione; “it might be reckless and thoughtless of me to support such a wild plan; yet the goal seems honorable, as long as the means are secure—what happens if he falls into their hands?”

“Alas, alas! the loss of his right hand!” replied Margaret, her voice almost stifled with sobs.

“Oh no, oh no! He lost his right hand!” replied Margaret, her voice nearly choked with tears.

“Are the laws of England so cruel? Then there is mercy in heaven alone,” said the lady, “since, even in this free land, men are wolves to each other.—Compose yourself, Margaret, and tell me what money is necessary to secure Lord Glenvarloch's escape.”

“Are the laws of England really that harsh? Then mercy exists only in heaven,” said the lady. “Because even in this supposedly free land, men treat each other like wolves. —Calm yourself, Margaret, and let me know how much money is needed to ensure Lord Glenvarloch’s escape.”

“Two hundred pieces,” replied Margaret; “I would speak to you of restoring them—and I must one day have the power—only that I know—that is, I think—your ladyship is indifferent on that score.”

“Two hundred pieces,” replied Margaret; “I want to talk to you about restoring them—and I’ll need to have the ability one day—only because I know—that is, I think—your ladyship doesn’t really care about that.”

“Not a word more of it,” said the lady; “call Monna Paula hither.”

“Don’t say another word about it,” said the lady; “bring Monna Paula here.”










CHAPTER XX

  Credit me, friend, it hath been ever thus,
  Since the ark rested on Mount Ararat.
  False man hath sworn, and woman hath believed—
  Repented and reproach'd, and then believed once more.
                                  The New World.
  Trust me, friend, it has always been this way,  
  Since the ark landed on Mount Ararat.  
  Deceitful men have sworn, and women have believed—  
  They’ve regretted and blamed, and then believed again.  
                                  The New World.

By the time that Margaret returned with Monna Paula, the Lady Hermione was rising from the table at which she had been engaged in writing something on a small slip of paper, which she gave to her attendant.

By the time Margaret came back with Monna Paula, Lady Hermione was getting up from the table where she’d been writing something on a small piece of paper, which she handed to her assistant.

“Monna Paula,” she said, “carry this paper to Roberts the cash-keeper; let them give you the money mentioned in the note, and bring it hither presently.”

“Monna Paula,” she said, “take this paper to Roberts the cash keeper; have them give you the money mentioned in the note, and bring it back here right away.”

Monna Paula left the room, and her mistress proceeded.

Monna Paula left the room, and her boss continued.

“I do not know,” she said, “Margaret, if I have done, and am doing, well in this affair. My life has been one of strange seclusion, and I am totally unacquainted with the practical ways of this world—an ignorance which I know cannot be remedied by mere reading.—I fear I am doing wrong to you, and perhaps to the laws of the country which affords me refuge, by thus indulging you; and yet there is something in my heart which cannot resist your entreaties.”

“I don’t know,” she said, “Margaret, if I have done, and am doing, well in this situation. My life has been strangely isolated, and I have no idea about the practical ways of this world—this lack of knowledge cannot be fixed by just reading. I’m worried that I might be wronging you, and maybe even the laws of the country that gives me shelter, by indulging you like this; and yet there’s something in my heart that can’t ignore your pleas.”

“O, listen to it—listen to it, dear, generous lady!” said Margaret, throwing herself on her knees and grasping those of her benefactress and looking in that attitude like a beautiful mortal in the act of supplicating her tutelary angel; “the laws of men are but the injunctions of mortality, but what the heart prompts is the echo of the voice from heaven within us.”

“O, listen to it—listen to it, dear, generous lady!” said Margaret, throwing herself on her knees and grasping her benefactress's legs, looking in that position like a beautiful person pleading with her guardian angel; “the laws of men are just the rules of mortality, but what the heart tells us is the echo of the voice from heaven within us.”

“Rise, rise, maiden,” said Hermione; “you affect me more than I thought I could have been moved by aught that should approach me. Rise and tell me whence it comes, that, in so short a time, your thoughts, your looks, your speech, and even your slightest actions, are changed from those of a capricious and fanciful girl, to all this energy and impassioned eloquence of word and action?”

“Get up, get up, girl,” said Hermione; “you affect me more than I thought I could be affected by anything that gets close to me. Stand up and tell me where this comes from, that in such a short time, your thoughts, your looks, your speech, and even your smallest actions have changed from those of a whimsical and fanciful girl to all this energy and passionate eloquence of words and actions?”

“I am sure I know not, dearest lady,” said Margaret, looking down; “but I suppose that, when I was a trifler, I was only thinking of trifles. What I now reflect is deep and serious, and I am thankful if my speech and manner bear reasonable proportion to my thoughts.”

“I’m not really sure, dear lady,” said Margaret, looking down; “but I guess that when I was being frivolous, I was only thinking about trivial things. What I think about now is serious and profound, and I’m grateful if my words and behavior match my thoughts.”

“It must be so,” said the lady; “yet the change seems a rapid and strange one. It seems to be as if a childish girl had at once shot up into deep-thinking and impassioned woman, ready to make exertions alike, and sacrifices, with all that vain devotion to a favourite object of affection, which is often so basely rewarded.”

“It has to be,” said the woman; “but the change feels sudden and odd. It’s like a naive girl has suddenly transformed into a thoughtful and passionate woman, ready to both put in the effort and make sacrifices, with all that pointless devotion to a beloved person, which is often so poorly rewarded.”

The Lady Hermione sighed bitterly, and Monna Paula entered ere the conversation proceeded farther. She spoke to her mistress in the foreign language in which they frequently conversed, but which was unknown to Margaret.

The Lady Hermione sighed bitterly, and Monna Paula entered before the conversation went any further. She spoke to her mistress in the foreign language they often used, which Margaret didn’t understand.

“We must have patience for a time,” said the lady to her visitor; “the cash-keeper is abroad on some business, but he is expected home in the course of half an hour.”

“We need to be patient for a bit,” the lady said to her visitor; “the cash-keeper is out handling some business, but he should be back in about half an hour.”

Margaret wrung her hands in vexation and impatience.

Margaret nervously twisted her hands in frustration and impatience.

“Minutes are precious,” continued the lady; “that I am well aware of; and we will at least suffer none of them to escape us. Monna Paula shall remain below and transact our business, the very instant that Roberts returns home.”

“Minutes are valuable,” the lady continued; “I know that well; and we won’t let any of them slip away. Monna Paula will stay downstairs and handle our business as soon as Roberts gets home.”

She spoke to her attendant accordingly, who again left the room.

She spoke to her attendant, who then left the room again.

“You are very kind, madam—very good,” said the poor little Margaret, while the anxious trembling of her lip and of her hand showed all that sickening agitation of the heart which arises from hope deferred.

“You are very kind, ma'am—really good,” said the poor little Margaret, while the anxious trembling of her lip and hand revealed all the sickening agitation of the heart that comes from postponed hope.

“Be patient, Margaret, and collect yourself,” said the lady; “you may, you must, have much to do to carry through this your bold purpose—reserve your spirits, which you may need so much—be patient—it is the only remedy against the evils of life.”

“Be patient, Margaret, and gather your thoughts,” said the lady; “you have, you must, have a lot to do to pursue this bold plan of yours—save your energy, as you might need it—be patient—it’s the only cure for life’s troubles.”

“Yes, madam,” said Margaret, wiping her eyes, and endeavouring in vain to suppress the natural impatience of her temper,—“I have heard so—very often indeed; and I dare say I have myself, heaven forgive me, said so to people in perplexity and affliction; but it was before I had suffered perplexity and vexation myself, and I am sure I will never preach patience to any human being again, now that I know how much the medicine goes against the stomach.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Margaret, wiping her eyes and trying unsuccessfully to hold back her natural impatience, “I’ve heard that a lot—very often, actually; and I can’t deny I’ve probably said the same to people in trouble and pain, heaven forgive me. But that was before I experienced confusion and frustration myself, and I know I’ll never recommend patience to anyone again, now that I realize how tough it is to swallow.”

“You will think better of it, maiden,” said the Lady Hermione; “I also, when I first felt distress, thought they did me wrong who spoke to me of patience; but my sorrows have been repeated and continued till I have been taught to cling to it as the best, and—religious duties excepted, of which, indeed, patience forms a part—the only alleviation which life can afford them.”

“You’ll see it differently, young lady,” said Lady Hermione. “I also, when I first faced hardship, believed those who told me to be patient were wrong; but my troubles have gone on for so long that I've learned to hold onto it as the best, and—except for my religious duties, which patience is a part of—it's the only relief life has to offer.”

Margaret, who neither wanted sense nor feeling, wiped her tears hastily, and asked her patroness's forgiveness for her petulance.

Margaret, who wanted neither logic nor emotion, quickly wiped her tears and apologized to her patron for her irritability.

“I might have thought”—she said, “I ought to have reflected, that even from the manner of your life, madam, it is plain you must have suffered sorrow; and yet, God knows, the patience which I have ever seen you display, well entitles you to recommend your own example to others.”

“I might have thought,” she said, “I should have considered that just from the way you live, madam, it’s obvious you must have experienced sorrow; and yet, God knows, the patience I've always seen you show truly gives you the right to recommend your own example to others.”

The lady was silent for a moment, and then replied—

The woman was quiet for a moment, and then answered—

“Margaret, I am about to repose a high confidence in you. You are no longer a child, but a thinking and a feeling woman. You have told me as much of your secret as you dared—I will let you know as much of mine as I may venture to tell. You will ask me, perhaps, why, at a moment when your own mind is agitated, I should force upon you the consideration of my sorrows? and I answer, that I cannot withstand the impulse which now induces me to do so. Perhaps from having witnessed, for the first time these three years, the natural effects of human passion, my own sorrows have been awakened, and are for the moment too big for my own bosom—perhaps I may hope that you, who seem driving full sail on the very rock on which I was wrecked for ever, will take warning by the tale I have to tell. Enough, if you are willing to listen, I am willing to tell you who the melancholy inhabitant of the Foljambe apartments really is, and why she resides here. It will serve, at least, to while away the time until Monna Paula shall bring us the reply from Roberts.”

“Margaret, I'm about to place a lot of trust in you. You’re no longer a child; you’re a woman who thinks and feels. You've shared as much of your secret as you're comfortable with—I’ll share as much of mine as I can. You might wonder why, at a time when you're feeling unsettled, I should bring my troubles to your attention. I can’t help but feel compelled to do this. Maybe it's because I've seen, for the first time in three years, the real effects of human emotion, and my own sorrows have been stirred up—they're too much for me to handle alone right now. Maybe I hope that you, who seem to be headed straight for the same rock that caused my own shipwreck, will learn something from my story. If you’re willing to listen, I’m ready to tell you who the sad resident of the Foljambe apartments really is and why she lives here. At least it will pass the time until Monna Paula brings us the reply from Roberts.”

At any other moment of her life, Margaret Ramsay would have heard with undivided interest a communication so flattering in itself, and referring to a subject upon which the general curiosity had been so strongly excited. And even at this agitating moment, although she ceased not to listen with an anxious ear and throbbing heart for the sound of Monna Paula's returning footsteps, she nevertheless, as gratitude and policy, as well as a portion of curiosity dictated, composed herself, in appearance at least, to the strictest attention to the Lady Hermione, and thanked her with humility for the high confidence she was pleased to repose in her. The Lady Hermione, with the same calmness which always attended her speech and actions, thus recounted her story to her young friend:

At any other time in her life, Margaret Ramsay would have listened with complete interest to a message so flattering and related to a topic that had sparked so much general curiosity. And even in this tense moment, while she anxiously listened for the sound of Monna Paula's returning footsteps with a racing heart, she still managed to appear focused on Lady Hermione, expressing her gratitude for the high level of trust Lady Hermione was showing in her. Lady Hermione, with her usual calm demeanor, began to recount her story to her young friend:

“My father,” she said, “was a merchant, but he was of a city whose merchants are princes. I am the daughter of a noble house in Genoa, whose name stood as high in honour and in antiquity, as any inscribed in the Golden Register of that famous aristocracy.

“My father,” she said, “was a merchant, but he came from a city where the merchants are like royalty. I am the daughter of a noble family in Genoa, whose name was as esteemed and ancient as any listed in the Golden Register of that renowned aristocracy.

“My mother was a noble Scottish woman. She was descended—do not start—and not remotely descended, of the house of Glenvarloch—no wonder that I was easily led to take concern in the misfortunes of this young lord. He is my near relation, and my mother, who was more than sufficiently proud of her descent, early taught me to take an interest in the name. My maternal grandfather, a cadet of that house of Glenvarloch, had followed the fortunes of an unhappy fugitive, Francis Earl of Bothwell, who, after showing his miseries in many a foreign court, at length settled in Spain upon a miserable pension, which he earned by conforming to the Catholic faith. Ralph Olifaunt, my grandfather, separated from him in disgust, and settled at Barcelona, where, by the friendship of the governor, his heresy, as it was termed, was connived at. My father, in the course of his commerce, resided more at Barcelona than in his native country, though at times he visited Genoa.

"My mother was a noble Scottish woman. She was descended—don’t be shocked—from the house of Glenvarloch, so it's no surprise I was easily drawn to the troubles of this young lord. He is my close relative, and my mother, who was quite proud of her lineage, taught me early on to take an interest in the family name. My maternal grandfather, a branch of the house of Glenvarloch, had followed the fortunes of a troubled fugitive, Francis Earl of Bothwell, who, after displaying his hardships in many foreign courts, eventually settled in Spain on a meager pension that he got by converting to the Catholic faith. Ralph Olifaunt, my grandfather, parted ways with him in disgust and settled in Barcelona, where, thanks to the governor's friendship, his so-called heresy was overlooked. My father, through his business, spent more time in Barcelona than in his homeland, although he occasionally visited Genoa."

“It was at Barcelona that he became acquainted with my mother, loved her, and married her; they differed in faith, but they agreed in affection. I was their only child. In public I conformed to the docterins and ceremonial of the Church of Rome; but my mother, by whom these were regarded with horror, privately trained me up in those of the reformed religion; and my father, either indifferent in the matter, or unwilling to distress the woman whom he loved, overlooked or connived at my secretly joining in her devotions.

“It was in Barcelona that he met my mother, fell in love with her, and married her; they had different beliefs but shared a deep affection. I was their only child. In public, I followed the teachings and rituals of the Catholic Church; however, my mother, who viewed these with disdain, secretly raised me in the principles of the reformed religion. My father, either indifferent to the issue or not wanting to upset the woman he loved, either ignored or tolerated my participation in her religious practices.”

“But when, unhappily, my father was attacked, while yet in the prime of life, by a slow wasting disease, which he felt to be incurable, he foresaw the hazard to which his widow and orphan might be exposed, after he was no more, in a country so bigoted to Catholicism as Spain. He made it his business, during the two last years of his life, to realize and remit to England a large part of his fortune, which, by the faith and honour of his correspondent, the excellent man under whose roof I now reside, was employed to great advantage. Had my father lived to complete his purpose, by withdrawing his whole fortune from commerce, he himself would have accompanied us to England, and would have beheld us settled in peace and honour before his death. But heaven had ordained it otherwise. He died, leaving several sums engaged in the hands of his Spanish debtors; and, in particular, he had made a large and extensive consignment to a certain wealthy society of merchants at Madrid, who showed no willingness after his death to account for the proceeds. Would to God we had left these covetous and wicked men in possession of their booty, for such they seemed to hold the property of their deceased correspondent and friend! We had enough for comfort, and even splendour, already secured in England; but friends exclaimed upon the folly of permitting these unprincipled men to plunder us of our rightful property. The sum itself was large, and the claim having been made, my mother thought that my father's memory was interested in its being enforced, especially as the defences set up for the mercantile society went, in some degree, to impeach the fairness of his transactions.

“But when, unfortunately, my father was struck by a slow, wasting disease in the prime of his life, which he realized was incurable, he anticipated the dangers that his widow and orphan might face after he was gone, in a country as devoted to Catholicism as Spain. During the last two years of his life, he made it a priority to gather and send a significant part of his fortune to England, which, thanks to the trustworthiness and integrity of his contact, the wonderful man with whom I now live, was invested wisely. If my father had lived to fulfill his plan of withdrawing his entire fortune from commerce, he would have traveled with us to England and would have seen us settled in peace and honor before his death. But fate had other plans. He passed away, leaving several sums tied up with his Spanish debtors; particularly, he had made a large and extensive consignment to a wealthy merchant society in Madrid, who showed no willingness to settle the accounts after his death. I wish we had left these greedy and wicked men with their ill-gotten gains, for they certainly treated the belongings of their deceased colleague and friend as their own! We already had enough for comfort and even luxury secured in England; but friends criticized us for allowing these unscrupulous men to rob us of our rightful property. The amount was substantial, and since a claim had been made, my mother felt that my father's memory was at stake in enforcing it, especially since the defenses put forth by the merchant society in some way questioned the fairness of his dealings.

“We went therefore to Madrid. I was then, my Margaret, about your age, young and thoughtless, as you have hitherto been—We went, I say, to Madrid, to solicit the protection of the Court and of the king, without which we were told it would be in vain to expect justice against an opulent and powerful association.

“We went to Madrid. At that time, my Margaret, I was about your age, young and carefree, just like you have been until now. We went, I say, to Madrid, to seek the protection of the Court and the king, because we were told that without it, it would be pointless to hope for justice against a wealthy and powerful group.”

“Our residence at the Spanish metropolis drew on from weeks to months. For my part, my natural sorrow for a kind, though not a fond father, having abated, I cared not if the lawsuit had detained us at Madrid for ever. My mother permitted herself and me rather more liberty than we had been accustomed to. She found relations among the Scottish and Irish officers, many of whom held a high rank in the Spanish armies; their wives and daughters became our friends and companions, and I had perpetual occasion to exercise my mother's native language, which I had learned from my infancy. By degrees, as my mother's spirits were low, and her health indifferent, she was induced, by her partial fondness for me, to suffer me to mingle occasionally in society which she herself did not frequent, under the guardianship of such ladies as she imagined she could trust, and particularly under the care of the lady of a general officer, whose weakness or falsehood was the original cause of my misfortunes. I was as gay, Margaret, and thoughtless—I again repeat it—as you were but lately, and my attention, like yours, became suddenly riveted to one object, and to one set of feelings.

“Our stay in the Spanish capital stretched from weeks into months. For me, the natural sadness I felt for a father who was kind but not affectionate faded, and I didn't mind if the lawsuit kept us in Madrid forever. My mother allowed both of us a bit more freedom than we were used to. She made connections with Scottish and Irish officers, many of whom held high positions in the Spanish military; their wives and daughters became our friends and companions, which gave me countless opportunities to use my mother's native language, a skill I had learned since childhood. As my mother's spirits were low and her health was not great, her fondness for me led her to let me socialize occasionally in circles she didn't frequent, under the watchful eye of ladies she thought she could trust, particularly the wife of a general officer, whose weakness or dishonesty was the root of my troubles. I was as carefree, Margaret, and thoughtless—I say it again—as you were just recently, and my attention, like yours, suddenly became focused on one person and one set of emotions.

“The person by whom they were excited was young, noble, handsome, accomplished, a soldier, and a Briton. So far our cases are nearly parallel; but, may heaven forbid that the parallel should become complete! This man, so noble, so fairly formed, so gifted, and so brave—this villain, for that, Margaret, was his fittest name, spoke of love to me, and I listened—-Could I suspect his sincerity? If he was wealthy, noble, and long-descended, I also was a noble and an opulent heiress. It is true, that he neither knew the extent of my father's wealth, nor did I communicate to him (I do not even remember if I myself knew it at the time) the important circumstance, that the greater part of that wealth was beyond the grasp of arbitrary power, and not subject to the precarious award of arbitrary judges. My lover might think, perhaps, as my mother was desirous the world at large should believe, that almost our whole fortune depended on the precarious suit which we had come to Madrid to prosecute—a belief which she had countenanced out of policy, being well aware that a knowledge of my father's having remitted such a large part of his fortune to England, would in no shape aid the recovery of further sums in the Spanish courts. Yet, with no more extensive views of my fortune than were possessed by the public, I believe that he, of whom I am speaking, was at first sincere in his pretensions. He had himself interest sufficient to have obtained a decision in our favour in the courts, and my fortune, reckoning only what was in Spain, would then have been no inconsiderable sum. To be brief, whatever might be his motives or temptation for so far committing himself, he applied to my mother for my hand, with my consent and approval. My mother's judgment had become weaker, but her passions had become more irritable, during her increasing illness.

“The person who got them all worked up was young, noble, handsome, skilled, a soldier, and British. So far, our situations are pretty similar; but, may heaven forbid that similarity to become complete! This man, so noble, so well-shaped, so talented, and so courageous—this villain, because that was the most fitting name for him, Margaret, spoke of love to me, and I listened—Could I doubt his sincerity? If he was wealthy, noble, and had a long family history, I was also a noble and wealthy heiress. It’s true that he didn’t know the full extent of my father’s wealth, nor did I tell him (I don’t even remember if I knew it myself at the time) the important fact that most of that wealth was beyond the reach of arbitrary power and not subject to the unpredictable judgments of arbitrary judges. My lover might believe, as my mother wanted the world to think, that almost our entire fortune depended on the uncertain lawsuit we had come to Madrid to pursue—a belief she supported out of strategy, being well aware that knowing my father had sent a large part of his wealth to England would not help recover more funds in the Spanish courts. Yet, without a broader understanding of my fortune than what the public had, I believe the man I’m referencing was initially sincere in his intentions. He had enough interest to have secured a decision in our favor in court, and my fortune, counting only what was in Spain, would then have been a considerable amount. To be brief, whatever his motives or temptations for committing himself so far, he asked my mother for my hand, with my consent and approval. My mother’s judgment had weakened, but her passions had become more sensitive during her ongoing illness.”

“You have heard of the bitterness of the ancient Scottish feuds, of which it may be said, in the language of Scripture, that the fathers eat sour grapes, and the teeth of the children are set on edge. Unhappily—I should say happily, considering what this man has now shown himself to be—some such strain of bitterness had divided his house from my mother's, and she had succeeded to the inheritance of hatred. When he asked her for my hand, she was no longer able to command her passions—she raked up every injury which the rival families had inflicted upon each other during a bloody feud of two centuries—heaped him with epithets of scorn, and rejected his proposal of alliance, as if it had come from the basest of mankind.

“You’ve heard about the bitterness of the ancient Scottish feuds, where it can be said, in the language of Scripture, that the fathers eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge. Unfortunately—I should say fortunately, given what this man has now revealed himself to be—some of that bitterness had split his family from my mother’s, and she had inherited the hatred. When he asked for my hand, she could no longer control her emotions—she dredged up every injury the rival families had inflicted on each other during a bloody feud that lasted two centuries—piled him with insults, and turned down his proposal of alliance as if it had come from the lowest of the low.

“My lover retired in passion; and I remained to weep and murmur against fortune, and—I will confess my fault—against my affectionate parent. I had been educated with different feelings, and the traditions of the feuds and quarrels of my mother's family in Scotland, which we're to her monuments and chronicles, seemed to me as insignificant and unmeaning as the actions and fantasies of Don Quixote; and I blamed my mother bitterly for sacrificing my happiness to an empty dream of family dignity.

“My partner left in a rush of passion; I stayed behind to cry and complain about fate, and—I admit my mistake—about my loving parent. I had been raised with different emotions, and the stories of the fights and conflicts of my mother's family in Scotland, which were like her memorials and histories, felt meaningless and trivial to me, like the actions and fantasies of Don Quixote; I harshly criticized my mother for giving up my happiness for an empty illusion of family honor."

“While I was in this humour, my lover sought a renewal of our intercourse. We met repeatedly in the house of the lady whom I have mentioned, and who, in levity, or in the spirit of intrigue, countenanced our secret correspondence. At length we were secretly married—so far did my blinded passion hurry me. My lover had secured the assistance of a clergyman of the English church. Monna Paula, who had been my attendant from infancy, was one witness of our union. Let me do the faithful creature justice—She conjured me to suspend my purpose till my mother's death should permit us to celebrate our marriage openly; but the entreaties of my lover, and my own wayward passion, prevailed over her remonstrances. The lady I have spoken of was another witness, but whether she was in full possession of my bridegroom's secret, I had never the means to learn. But the shelter of her name and roof afforded us the means of frequently meeting, and the love of my husband seemed as sincere and as unbounded as my own.

“While I was in this mood, my lover wanted to rekindle our relationship. We kept meeting at the house of the lady I mentioned, who, either out of playfulness or curiosity, supported our secret communication. Eventually, we got married in secret—so quickly did my blinded passion drive me. My lover had enlisted the help of a clergyman from the English church. Monna Paula, who had been my servant since childhood, was one witness of our union. Let me give this loyal person her due—She urged me to hold off on my plans until my mother passed away, which would allow us to celebrate our marriage openly; but my lover's pleas and my own stubborn desire overruled her objections. The lady I mentioned was another witness, but I never found out if she fully knew my groom's secret. However, having her name and home gave us the chance to meet often, and my husband’s love seemed as genuine and limitless as my own.

“He was eager, he said, to gratify his pride, by introducing me to one or two of his noble English friends. This could not be done at Lady D—-'s; but by his command, which I was now entitled to consider as my law, I contrived twice to visit him at his own hotel, accompanied only by Monna Paula. There was a very small party, of two ladies and two gentlemen. There was music, mirth, and dancing. I had heard of the frankness of the English nation, but I could not help thinking it bordered on license during these entertainments, and in the course of the collation which followed; but I imputed my scruples to my inexperience, and would not doubt the propriety of what was approved by my husband.

“He was eager, he said, to satisfy his pride by introducing me to a couple of his noble English friends. This couldn’t happen at Lady D—-'s; however, following his request, which I now considered my law, I managed to visit him twice at his hotel, just with Monna Paula. There was a very small group, consisting of two ladies and two gentlemen. There was music, laughter, and dancing. I had heard about the straightforwardness of the English people, but I couldn’t help but think it was a bit too free during these gatherings and the meal that followed; but I attributed my concerns to my lack of experience and wouldn’t doubt the appropriateness of what my husband approved of.

“I was soon summoned to other scenes: My poor mother's disease drew to a conclusion—Happy I am that it took place before she discovered what would have cut her to the soul.

“I was soon called away to other places: My poor mother's illness came to an end—I'm glad it happened before she found out what would have devastated her.”

“In Spain you may have heard how the Catholic priests, and particularly the monks, besiege the beds of the dying, to obtain bequests for the good of the church. I have said that my mother's temper was irritated by disease, and her judgment impaired in proportion. She gathered spirits and force from the resentment which the priests around her bed excited by their importunity, and the boldness of the stern sect of reformers, to which she had secretly adhered, seemed to animate her dying tongue. She avowed the religion she had so long concealed; renounced all hope and aid which did not come by and through its dictates; rejected with contempt the ceremonial of the Romish church; loaded the astonished priests with reproaches for their greediness and hypocrisy, and commanded them to leave her house. They went in bitterness and rage, but it was to return with the inquisitorial power, its warrants, and its officers; and they found only the cold corpse left of her, on whom they had hoped to work their vengeance. As I was soon discovered to have shared my mother's heresy, I was dragged from her dead body, imprisoned in a solitary cloister, and treated with severity, which the Abbess assured me was due to the looseness of my life, as well as my spiritual errors. I avowed my marriage, to justify the situation in which I found myself—I implored the assistance of the Superior to communicate my situation to my husband. She smiled coldly at the proposal, and told me the church had provided a better spouse for me; advised me to secure myself of divine grace hereafter, and deserve milder treatment here, by presently taking the veil. In order to convince me that I had no other resource, she showed me a royal decree, by which all my estate was hypothecated to the convent of Saint Magdalen, and became their complete property upon my death, or my taking the vows. As I was, both from religious principle, and affectionate attachment to my husband, absolutely immovable in my rejection of the veil, I believe—may heaven forgive me if I wrong her—that the Abbess was desirous to make sure of my spoils, by hastening the former event.

“In Spain, you may have heard how Catholic priests, especially monks, swarm around the beds of the dying to get inheritances for the church's benefit. I've mentioned that my mother's temper was affected by her illness, and her judgment suffered as well. She drew strength from the anger the priests surrounding her bed stirred up with their constant pleading, and the boldness of the stern reformers she secretly supported seemed to empower her dying words. She revealed the faith she had hidden for so long; she rejected any hope or help that wasn’t in line with its teachings; she dismissed the rituals of the Roman Catholic Church with disdain, unloaded her accusations of greed and hypocrisy on the astonished priests, and ordered them to leave her home. They left in bitterness and anger, but returned with the Inquisition's authority, its warrants, and its officers; only to find her cold body, the target of their wrath. When it became clear I shared my mother’s beliefs, I was taken from her corpse, locked away in a lonely cloister, and treated harshly, which the Abbess claimed was because of my reckless lifestyle and spiritual errors. I acknowledged my marriage to justify my situation—I pleaded with the Superior to inform my husband about my predicament. She responded with a cold smile, telling me the church had a better husband in store for me, advising me to secure divine grace for the future and earn kinder treatment by taking the veil. To convince me I had no other option, she showed me a royal decree that tied all my property to the convent of Saint Magdalen, making it theirs completely upon my death or when I took the vows. Since I was adamantly against taking the veil, both for religious reasons and my love for my husband, I believe—may heaven forgive me if I’m wrong—that the Abbess was eager to ensure her claim on my inheritance by hastening that outcome.”

“It was a small and a poor convent, and situated among the mountains of Guadarrama. Some of the sisters were the daughters of neighbouring Hidalgoes, as poor as they were proud and ignorant; others were women immured there on account of their vicious conduct. The Superior herself was of a high family, to which she owed her situation; but she was said to have disgraced her connexions by her conduct during youth, and now, in advanced age, covetousness and the love of power, a spirit too of severity and cruelty, had succeeded to the thirst after licentious pleasure. I suffered much under this woman—and still her dark, glassy eye, her tall, shrouded form, and her rigid features, haunt my slumbers.

“It was a small, impoverished convent located in the mountains of Guadarrama. Some of the sisters were the daughters of local nobles, just as poor as they were proud and ignorant; others were women confined there due to their immoral behavior. The Superior herself came from a prominent family, which is how she got her position; however, it was said that she had brought shame to her relatives through her actions in her youth. Now, in her old age, her desire for wealth and power, along with a harsh and cruel spirit, had replaced her former craving for pleasure. I suffered greatly under this woman—and still her dark, glassy eyes, tall, cloaked figure, and rigid features haunt my dreams."

“I was not destined to be a mother. I was very ill, and my recovery was long doubtful. The most violent remedies were applied, if remedies they indeed were. My health was restored at length, against my own expectation and that of all around me. But, when I first again beheld the reflection of my own face, I thought it was the visage of a ghost. I was wont to be flattered by all, but particularly by my husband, for the fineness of my complexion—it was now totally gone, and, what is more extraordinary, it has never returned. I have observed that the few who now see me, look upon me as a bloodless phantom—Such has been the abiding effect of the treatment to which I was subjected. May God forgive those who were the agents of it!—I thank Heaven I can say so with as sincere a wish, as that with which I pray for forgiveness of my own sins. They now relented somewhat towards me—moved perhaps to compassion by my singular appearance, which bore witness to my sufferings; or afraid that the matter might attract attention during a visitation of the bishop, which was approaching. One day, as I was walking in the convent-garden, to which I had been lately admitted, a miserable old Moorish slave, who was kept to cultivate the little spot, muttered as I passed him, but still keeping his wrinkled face and decrepit form in the same angle with the earth—'There is Heart's Ease near the postern.'

“I wasn't meant to be a mother. I was very sick, and my recovery seemed unlikely. They used the harshest treatments, if you could really call them remedies. Finally, my health came back, which surprised me and everyone around me. But when I first saw my own reflection again, I thought I was looking at a ghost. I used to be complimented by everyone, especially my husband, for the beauty of my complexion—it had completely faded, and even more surprisingly, it never came back. I've noticed that the few people who see me now look at me like a lifeless specter—such has been the lasting impact of the treatment I underwent. May God forgive those responsible for it!—I thank Heaven I can express that with as much sincerity as I pray for forgiveness for my own sins. They have shown me a bit more kindness lately—perhaps moved by pity for my unusual appearance, which revealed my suffering; or maybe worried that it might draw attention during the bishop's upcoming visit. One day, while I was walking in the convent garden, where I had recently been admitted, a miserable old Moorish slave, who was there to tend to the little patch, mumbled as I passed by, still keeping his wrinkled face and frail body tilted towards the ground—'There’s Heart's Ease near the postern.'”

“I knew something of the symbolical language of flowers, once carried to such perfection among the Moriscoes of Spain; but if I had been ignorant of it, the captive would soon have caught at any hint which seemed to promise liberty. With all the haste consistent with the utmost circumspection—for I might be observed by the Abbess or some of the sisters from the window—I hastened to the postern. It was closely barred as usual, but when I coughed slightly, I was answered from the other side—and, O heaven! it was my husband's voice which said, 'Lose not a minute here at present, but be on this spot when the vesper bell has tolled.'

“I knew a bit about the symbolic language of flowers, which was once perfected by the Moriscoes of Spain; but even if I hadn’t, the captive would have quickly picked up on any hint that promised freedom. With all the speed I could manage while staying as discreet as possible—since I could be seen by the Abbess or some of the sisters from the window—I rushed to the secret door. It was tightly shut as usual, but when I coughed softly, I got a response from the other side—and, oh my God! it was my husband’s voice saying, 'Don’t waste a minute right now, but be here when the evening bell rings.'”

“I retired in an ecstasy of joy. I was not entitled or permitted to assist at vespers, but was accustomed to be confined to my cell while the nuns were in the choir. Since my recovery, they had discontinued locking the door; though the utmost severity was denounced against me if I left these precincts. But, let the penalty be what it would, I hastened to dare it.—No sooner had the last toll of the vesper bell ceased to sound, than I stole from my chamber, reached the garden unobserved, hurried to the postern, beheld it open with rapture, and in the next moment was in my husband's arms. He had with him another cavalier of noble mien—both were masked and armed. Their horses, with one saddled for my use, stood in a thicket hard by, with two other masked horsemen, who seemed to be servants. In less than two minutes we were mounted, and rode off as fast as we could through rough and devious roads, in which one of the domestics appeared to act as guide.

“I retired in a state of pure joy. I wasn't allowed to join the nuns for evening prayers and was usually locked in my cell while they sang in the choir. Since I had recovered, they stopped locking the door, but I was warned that strict consequences awaited me if I left this area. Still, no matter the punishment, I couldn’t resist the temptation. As soon as the last chime of the evening bell faded away, I slipped out of my room, got to the garden without being seen, rushed to the gate, and saw it open with delight. In the next moment, I was in my husband's arms. He was with another noble-looking man—both were wearing masks and armed. Their horses, along with one saddled for me, stood nearby in a thicket, next to two other masked horsemen who seemed to be servants. In less than two minutes, we were all mounted and riding away as fast as we could along rough, winding paths, with one of the servants leading the way."

“The hurried pace at which we rode, and the anxiety of the moment, kept me silent, and prevented my expressing my surprise or my joy save in a few broken words. It also served as an apology for my husband's silence. At length we stopped at a solitary hut—the cavaliers dismounted, and I was assisted from my saddle, not by M——M——my husband, I would say, who seemed busied about his horse, but by the stranger.

“The fast pace we were riding and the tension of the moment kept me quiet and made it hard to express my surprise or joy except in a few scattered words. It also explained my husband's silence. Finally, we came to a lonely hut—the men got off their horses, and I was helped down from my saddle, not by my husband, who appeared to be focused on his horse, but by the stranger.”

“'Go into the hut,' said my husband, 'change your dress with the speed of lightning—you will find one to assist you—we must forward instantly when you have shifted your apparel.'

“'Go into the hut,' my husband said, 'change your clothes as fast as you can—you’ll find something to help you—we need to move right away once you’re dressed.'”

“I entered the hut, and was received in the arms of the faithful Monna Paula, who had waited my arrival for many hours, half distracted with fear and anxiety. With her assistance I speedily tore off the detested garments of the convent, and exchanged them for a travelling suit, made after the English fashion. I observed that Monna Paula was in a similar dress. I had but just huddled on my change of attire, when we were hastily summoned to mount. A horse, I found, was provided for Monna Paula, and we resumed our route. On the way, my convent-garb, which had been wrapped hastily together around a stone, was thrown into a lake, along the verge of which we were then passing. The two cavaliers rode together in front, my attendant and I followed, and the servants brought up the rear. Monna Paula, as we rode on, repeatedly entreated me to be silent upon the road, as our lives depended on it. I was easily reconciled to be passive, for, the first fever of spirits which attended the sense of liberation and of gratified affection having passed away, I felt as it were dizzy with the rapid motion; and my utmost exertion was necessary to keep my place on the saddle, until we suddenly (it was now very dark) saw a strong light before us.

“I walked into the hut and was embraced by the devoted Monna Paula, who had been anxiously waiting for me for hours, half-crazed with fear. With her help, I quickly ripped off the hated convent clothes and swapped them for a travel outfit in the English style. I noticed that Monna Paula was wearing something similar. No sooner had I changed my clothes than we were hurriedly called to mount. I discovered a horse had been prepared for Monna Paula, and we continued on our journey. As we rode, I tossed my convent garb, which had been hastily bundled around a stone, into a lake we were passing by. The two horsemen rode together in front, while my attendant and I followed, with the servants bringing up the rear. As we rode, Monna Paula repeatedly urged me to stay quiet on the road, as our lives depended on it. I was easily okay with being passive because, once the initial rush of excitement from my freedom and feelings of affection faded, I felt a bit dizzy from the fast pace; it took all my effort to stay in the saddle until we suddenly (it was now quite dark) saw a bright light ahead of us.

“My husband reined up his horse, and gave a signal by a low whistle twice repeated, which was answered from a distance. The whole party then halted under the boughs of a large cork-tree, and my husband, drawing himself close to my side, said, in a voice which I then thought was only embarrassed by fear for my safety,—'We must now part. Those to whom I commit you are contrabandists, who only know you as English-women, but who, for a high bribe, have undertaken to escort you through the passes of the Pyrenees as far as Saint Jean de Luz.'

“My husband pulled his horse to a stop and signaled with a low whistle repeated twice, which was answered from afar. The whole group then paused beneath the branches of a large cork tree, and my husband, moving close to my side, said in a voice that I thought was just tense with worry for my safety, ‘We have to part now. The people I’m entrusting you to are smugglers, who only know you as English women, but for a nice sum of money, they’ve agreed to take you through the Pyrenees all the way to Saint Jean de Luz.’”

“'And do you not go with us?' I exclaimed with emphasis, though in a whisper.

“'Aren't you coming with us?' I said sharply, even though I was whispering.”

“'It is impossible,' he said, 'and would ruin all—See that you speak in English in these people's hearing, and give not the least sign of understanding what they say in Spanish—your life depends on it; for, though they live in opposition to, and evasion of, the laws of Spain, they would tremble at the idea of violating those of the church—I see them coming—farewell—farewell.'

“'It's impossible,' he said, 'and it would mess everything up—Make sure you speak in English around these people, and don’t show any understanding of what they say in Spanish—your life depends on it; because, even though they go against and evade the laws of Spain, they would panic at the thought of breaking the church's laws—I see them coming—goodbye—goodbye.'”

“The last words were hastily uttered-I endeavoured to detain him yet a moment by my feeble grasp on his cloak.

“The last words were quickly spoken—I tried to hold him back for just a moment with my weak grip on his cloak.

“'You will meet me, then, I trust, at Saint Jean de Luz?'

“You will meet me there, I hope, at Saint Jean de Luz?”

“'Yes, yes,' he answered hastily, 'at Saint Jean de Luz you will meet your protector.'

“Yes, yes,” he replied quickly, “at Saint Jean de Luz you’ll meet your protector.”

“He then extricated his cloak from my grasp, and was lost in the darkness. His companion approached—kissed my hand, which in the agony of the moment I was scarce sensible of, and followed my husband, attended by one of the domestics.”

“He then pulled his cloak away from me and disappeared into the darkness. His friend came over—kissed my hand, which in the turmoil of the moment I barely noticed, and followed my husband, accompanied by one of the staff.”

The tears of Hermione here flowed so fast as to threaten the interruption of her narrative. When she resumed it, it was with a kind of apology to Margaret.

The tears of Hermione flowed so quickly that they nearly interrupted her story. When she continued, it was with a sort of apology to Margaret.

“Every circumstance,” she said, “occurring in those moments, when I still enjoyed a delusive idea of happiness, is deeply imprinted in my remembrance, which, respecting all that has since happened, is waste and unvaried as an Arabian desert. But I have no right to inflict on you, Margaret, agitated as you are with your own anxieties, the unavailing details of my useless recollections.”

“Every situation,” she said, “that happened during those times, when I still held onto a false sense of happiness, is etched in my memory, which, considering everything that has happened since, is barren and unchanging like an Arabian desert. But I have no right to burden you, Margaret, already overwhelmed with your own worries, with the pointless details of my useless memories.”

Margaret's eyes were full of tears—it was impossible it could be otherwise, considering that the tale was told by her suffering benefactress, and resembled, in some respects, her own situation; and yet she must not be severely blamed, if, while eagerly pressing her patroness to continue her narrative, her eye involuntarily sought the door, as if to chide the delay of Monna Paula.

Margaret's eyes were filled with tears—it couldn't be any other way, given that the story was shared by her suffering benefactor and was similar, in some ways, to her own situation; and still, she shouldn't be harshly judged if, while she eagerly urged her patroness to keep going with the story, her gaze unconsciously wandered to the door, as if to scold the delay of Monna Paula.

The Lady Hermione saw and forgave these conflicting emotions; and she, too, must be pardoned, if, in her turn, the minute detail of her narrative showed, that, in the discharge of feelings so long locked in her own bosom, she rather forgot those which were personal to her auditor, and by which it must be supposed Margaret's mind was principally occupied, if not entirely engrossed.

The Lady Hermione recognized and accepted these mixed emotions; and she, too, deserves forgiveness if, in sharing the details of her story, she somewhat overlooked the feelings that were personal to her listener, which must be assumed to have occupied Margaret's mind, if not completely consumed it.

“I told you, I think, that one domestic followed the gentlemen,” thus the lady continued her story, “the other remained with us for the purpose, as it seemed, of introducing us to two persons whom M—, I say, whom my husband's signal had brought to the spot. A word or two of explanation passed between them and the servant, in a sort of patois, which I did not understand; and one of the strangers taking hold of my bridle, the other of Monna Paula's, they led us towards the light, which I have already said was the signal of our halting. I touched Monna Paula, and was sensible that she trembled very much, which surprised me, because I knew her character to be so strong and bold as to border upon the masculine.

“I think I told you that one of the servants followed the gentlemen,” the lady continued her story, “while the other stayed with us to introduce us to two people whom M—, I mean, my husband's signal had brought here. A few words of explanation were exchanged between them and the servant in a kind of patois I didn't understand; then one of the strangers took my bridle and the other took Monna Paula's, and they led us towards the light, which I already mentioned was the signal for us to stop. I touched Monna Paula and felt that she was trembling a lot, which surprised me because I knew her to be so strong and bold, almost manly.”

“When we reached the fire, the gipsy figures of those who surrounded it, with their swarthy features, large Sombrero hats, girdles stuck full of pistols and poniards, and all the other apparatus of a roving and perilous life, would have terrified me at another moment. But then I only felt the agony of having parted from my husband almost in the very moment of my rescue. The females of the gang—for there were four or five women amongst these contraband traders—received us with a sort of rude courtesy. They were, in dress and manners, not extremely different from the men with whom they associated—were almost as hardy and adventurous, carried arms like them, and were, as we learned from passing circumstances, scarce less experienced in the use of them.

“When we got to the fire, the gipsy figures surrounding it, with their dark features, large sombrero hats, belts full of pistols and daggers, and all the other gear of a wandering and dangerous life, would have scared me at another time. But at that moment, I only felt the pain of having been separated from my husband just as I was being rescued. The women in the gang—there were four or five among these smugglers—greeted us with a kind of rough courtesy. They dressed and behaved similarly to the men they were with—were nearly as tough and bold, carried weapons like them, and were, as we learned from the situation, almost as skilled in using them.”

“It was impossible not to fear these wild people; yet they gave us no reason to complain of them, but used us on all occasions with a kind of clumsy courtesy, accommodating themselves to our wants and our weakness during the journey, even while we heard them grumbling to each other against our effeminacy,—like some rude carrier, who, in charge of a package of valuable and fragile ware, takes every precaution for its preservation, while he curses the unwonted trouble which it occasions him. Once or twice, when they were disappointed in their contraband traffic, lost some goods in a rencontre with the Spanish officers of the revenue, and were finally pursued by a military force, their murmurs assumed a more alarming tone, in the terrified ears of my attendant and myself, when, without daring to seem to understand them, we heard them curse the insular heretics, on whose account God, Saint James, and Our Lady of the Pillar, had blighted their hopes of profit. These are dreadful recollections, Margaret.”

“It was impossible not to be afraid of these wild people; yet they gave us no reason to complain about them. They treated us with a kind of awkward kindness, adjusting to our needs and weaknesses during the journey, even while we overheard them grumbling to each other about our delicacy—like a rough carrier who, responsible for a package of valuable and fragile items, takes every precaution to protect it while cursing the unusual trouble it causes him. Once or twice, when they were frustrated by their smuggling attempts, lost some goods in a run-in with the Spanish customs officers, and were eventually chased by a military force, their complaints took on a more alarming tone in the fearful ears of my companion and me. We could only listen without letting on that we understood when they cursed the island heretics, for whom God, Saint James, and Our Lady of the Pillar had dashed their hopes of profit. These are terrible memories, Margaret.”

“Why, then, dearest lady,” answered Margaret, “will you thus dwell on them?”

“Why, then, dear lady,” answered Margaret, “will you keep focusing on them?”

“It is only,” said the Lady Hermione, “because I linger like a criminal on the scaffold, and would fain protract the time that must inevitably bring on the final catastrophe. Yes, dearest Margaret, I rest and dwell on the events of that journey, marked as it was by fatigue and danger, though the road lay through the wildest and most desolate deserts and mountains, and though our companions, both men and women, were fierce and lawless themselves, and exposed to the most merciless retaliation from those with whom they were constantly engaged—yet would I rather dwell on these hazardous events than tell that which awaited me at Saint Jean de Luz.”

“It’s just,” said Lady Hermione, “that I feel like a criminal on the scaffold, and I want to stretch out the time that’s inevitably leading to the final disaster. Yes, dear Margaret, I reflect on everything that happened during that journey, marked as it was by exhaustion and danger, even though we traveled through the wildest and most desolate deserts and mountains, and even though our companions, both men and women, were fierce and lawless and faced brutal retaliation from those they were constantly fighting—still, I would rather focus on these risky events than share what awaits me at Saint Jean de Luz.”

“But you arrived there in safety?” said Margaret.

“But you got there safely?” said Margaret.

“Yes, maiden,” replied the Lady Hermione; “and were guided by the chief of our outlawed band to the house which had been assigned for reception, with the same punctilious accuracy with which he would have delivered a bale of uncustomed goods to a correspondent. I was told a gentleman had expected me for two days—I rushed into the apartment, and, when I expected to embrace my husband—I found myself in the arms of his friend!”

“Yes, young lady,” replied Lady Hermione; “and we were led by the leader of our outlawed group to the house that was designated for our welcome, with the same meticulous care he would have used to deliver a shipment of untaxed goods to a client. I was told a gentleman had been waiting for me for two days—I rushed into the room, and when I expected to embrace my husband—I found myself in the arms of his friend!”

“The villain!” exclaimed Margaret, whose anxiety had, in spite of herself, been a moment suspended by the narrative of the lady.

“The villain!” exclaimed Margaret, whose anxiety had, despite her best efforts, been briefly paused by the lady’s story.

“Yes,” replied Hermione, calmly, though her voice somewhat faltered, “it is the name that best—that well befits him. He, Margaret, for whom I had sacrificed all—whose love and whose memory were dearer to me than my freedom, when I was in the convent—than my life, when I was on my perilous journey—had taken his measures to shake me off, and transfer me, as a privileged wanton, to the protection of his libertine friend. At first the stranger laughed at my tears and my agony, as the hysterical passion of a deluded and overreached wanton, or the wily affection of a courtezan. My claim of marriage he laughed at, assuring me he knew it was a mere farce required by me, and submitted to by his friend, to save some reserve of delicacy; and expressed his surprise that I should consider in any other light a ceremony which could be valid neither in Spain nor England, and insultingly offered to remove my scruples, by renewing such a union with me himself. My exclamations brought Monna Paula to my aid—she was not, indeed, far distant, for she had expected some such scene.”

“Yes,” replied Hermione, calmly, although her voice wavered a bit, “that’s the name that suits him best. He, Margaret, for whom I sacrificed everything—whose love and memory meant more to me than my freedom when I was in the convent—or my life during my dangerous journey—had taken steps to push me away and hand me over, like a privileged loose woman, to the care of his reckless friend. At first, the stranger laughed at my tears and my suffering, dismissing it as the exaggerated emotions of a misguided and exploited woman, or the clever affection of a courtesan. He mocked my claim of marriage, insisting that he knew it was just a ridiculous act I put on, one that his friend played along with to maintain some sense of decorum; he was shocked that I could see this ceremony in any other way, as it wouldn’t hold any validity in Spain or England, and he condescendingly offered to clear my doubts by renewing that union with me himself. My cries brought Monna Paula to my side—she wasn’t far away, as she had anticipated something like this.”

“Good heaven!” said Margaret, “was she a confidant of your base husband?”

“Good heavens!” exclaimed Margaret, “was she a confidante of your totally untrustworthy husband?”

“No,” answered Hermione, “do her not that injustice. It was her persevering inquiries that discovered the place of my confinement—it was she who gave the information to my husband, and who remarked even then that the news was so much more interesting to his friend than to him, that she suspected, from an early period, it was the purpose of the villain to shake me off. On the journey, her suspicions were confirmed. She had heard him remark to his companion, with a cold sarcastic sneer, the total change which my prison and my illness had made on my complexion; and she had heard the other reply, that the defect might be cured by a touch of Spanish red. This, and other circumstances, having prepared her for such treachery, Monna Paula now entered, completely possessed of herself, and prepared to support me. Her calm representations went farther with the stranger than the expressions of my despair. If he did not entirely believe our tale, he at least acted the part of a man of honour, who would not intrude himself on defenceless females, whatever was their character; desisted from persecuting us with his presence; and not only directed Monna Paula how we should journey to Paris, but furnished her with money for the purpose of our journey. From the capital I wrote to Master Heriot, my father's most trusted correspondent; he came instantly to Paris on receiving the letter; and—But here comes Monna Paula, with more than the sum you desired. Take it, my dearest maiden—serve this youth if you will. But, O Margaret, look for no gratitude in return!”

“No,” Hermione replied, “don’t do her that injustice. It was her persistent questions that uncovered where I was being kept—it was she who informed my husband, and she even noted back then that the news was far more fascinating to his friend than to him, leading her to suspect early on that the villain’s goal was to get rid of me. During the journey, her suspicions were confirmed. She heard him tell his friend, with a cold, sarcastic sneer, about the drastic change my imprisonment and illness had made to my appearance; and she heard the other respond that the flaw could be fixed with a touch of Spanish red. With these and other clues preparing her for such betrayal, Monna Paula now entered, fully composed and ready to support me. Her calm explanations carried more weight with the stranger than my expressions of despair. If he didn’t completely believe our story, at least he acted like a man of honor, who wouldn’t intrude on defenseless women, no matter their situation; he stopped harassing us with his presence; and not only told Monna Paula how we should travel to Paris, but also gave her money for our journey. From the capital, I wrote to Master Heriot, my father’s most trusted correspondent; he rushed to Paris upon receiving the letter; and—But here comes Monna Paula, with more than the amount you requested. Take it, my dearest maiden—help this young man if you wish. But, oh Margaret, don’t expect any gratitude in return!”

The Lady Hermione took the bag of gold from her attendant, and gave it to her young friend, who threw herself into her arms, kissed her on both the pale cheeks, over which the sorrows so newly awakened by her narrative had drawn many tears, then sprung up, wiped her own overflowing eyes, and left the Foljambe apartments with a hasty and resolved step.

The Lady Hermione took the bag of gold from her attendant and handed it to her young friend, who jumped into her arms and kissed her on both of her pale cheeks, over which the sorrows recently stirred by her story had brought many tears. Then she stood up, wiped her own tears, and left the Foljambe apartments with a swift and determined stride.










CHAPTER XXI

  Rove not from pole to pole-the man lives here
  Whose razor's only equall'd by his beer;
  And where, in either sense, the cockney-put
  May, if he pleases, get confounded cut.
       On the sign of an Alehouse kept by a Barber.
  Don’t roam from place to place—the guy lives here  
  Whose razor’s only matched by his beer;  
  And where, in either sense, the cockney guy  
  Can, if he wants, get completely messed up.  
       On the sign of an Alehouse kept by a Barber.

We are under the necessity of transporting our readers to the habitation of Benjamin Suddlechop, the husband of the active and efficient Dame Ursula, and who also, in his own person, discharged more offices than one. For, besides trimming locks and beards, and turning whiskers upward into the martial and swaggering curl, or downward into the drooping form which became mustaches of civil policy; besides also occasionally letting blood, either by cupping or by the lancet, extracting a stump, and performing other actions of petty pharmacy, very nearly as well as his neighbour Raredrench, the apothecary: he could, on occasion, draw a cup of beer as well as a tooth, tap a hogshead as well as a vein, and wash, with a draught of good ale, the mustaches which his art had just trimmed. But he carried on these trades apart from each other.

We need to bring our readers to the home of Benjamin Suddlechop, the husband of the lively and capable Dame Ursula, who, in his own right, held multiple roles. Besides cutting hair and beards, and curling mustaches either up into a bold, swaggering style or down into a more subdued look, he also occasionally bled patients, whether through cupping or with a lancet, removed stumps, and performed other minor medical tasks nearly as well as his neighbor Raredrench, the apothecary. He could also pour a pint of beer as well as he could pull a tooth, tap a keg as easily as he could a vein, and wash the mustaches he had just trimmed with a good drink of ale. However, he kept these various trades separate from one another.

His barber's shop projected its long and mysterious pole into Fleet Street, painted party-coloured-wise, to represent the ribbons with which, in elder times, that ensign was garnished. In the window were seen rows of teeth displayed upon strings like rosaries—cups with a red rag at the bottom, to resemble blood, an intimation that patients might be bled, cupped, or blistered, with the assistance of “sufficient advice;” while the more profitable, but less honourable operations upon the hair of the head and beard, were briefly and gravely announced. Within was the well-worn leather chair for customers, the guitar, then called a ghittern or cittern, with which a customer might amuse himself till his predecessor was dismissed from under Benjamin's hands, and which, therefore, often flayed the ears of the patient metaphorically, while his chin sustained from the razor literal scarification. All, therefore, in this department, spoke the chirurgeon-barber, or the barber-chirurgeon.

His barber shop extended its long, colorful pole into Fleet Street, painted in various bright colors to represent the ribbons that once adorned it. In the window, rows of teeth hung on strings like rosaries—cups with a red rag at the bottom to look like blood, indicating that patients might be bled, cupped, or blistered with "adequate advice." Meanwhile, the more lucrative but less prestigious tasks involving haircuts and beard trims were briefly yet gravely advertised. Inside, there was a well-worn leather chair for customers, a guitar—then known as a ghittern or cittern—that a customer could play to pass the time while waiting for the previous client to finish with Benjamin, often making the waiting customer's ears suffer while his chin got literally cut by the razor. Thus, everything in this space hinted at the role of the barber-surgeon or the surgeon-barber.

But there was a little back-room, used as a private tap-room, which had a separate entrance by a dark and crooked alley, which communicated with Fleet Street, after a circuitous passage through several by-lanes and courts. This retired temple of Bacchus had also a connexion with Benjamin's more public shop by a long and narrow entrance, conducting to the secret premises in which a few old topers used to take their morning draught, and a few gill-sippers their modicum of strong waters, in a bashful way, after having entered the barber's shop under pretence of being shaved. Besides, this obscure tap-room gave a separate admission to the apartments of Dame Ursley, which she was believed to make use of in the course of her multifarious practice, both to let herself secretly out, and to admit clients and employers who cared not to be seen to visit her in public. Accordingly, after the hour of noon, by which time the modest and timid whetters, who were Benjamin's best customers, had each had his draught, or his thimbleful, the business of the tap was in a manner ended, and the charge of attending the back-door passed from one of the barber's apprentices to the little mulatto girl, the dingy Iris of Dame Suddlechop. Then came mystery thick upon mystery; muffled gallants, and masked females, in disguises of different fashions, were seen to glide through the intricate mazes of the alley; and even the low tap on the door, which frequently demanded the attention of the little Creole, had in it something that expressed secrecy and fear of discovery.

But there was a small back room, used as a private taproom, with its own entrance down a dark and winding alley that led to Fleet Street after going through several side streets and courts. This hidden spot for drinking also connected to Benjamin's more public shop through a long, narrow passage, which led to a discreet area where a few old drinkers would have their morning drinks, and a few light drinkers would take a quick sip of stronger beverages, sheepishly entering the barber's shop under the pretext of getting a shave. Additionally, this obscure taproom had a separate entrance to Dame Ursley's rooms, which she was thought to use throughout her varied practice, both to sneak out and to let in clients and employers who preferred not to be seen visiting her publicly. So, after noon, by which time the shy drinkers, who were Benjamin's best customers, had each had their drink or a small sip, the taproom's business was essentially done, and the responsibility of watching the back door transferred from one of the barber's apprentices to the little mulatto girl, the grimy Iris of Dame Suddlechop. Then, a thick air of mystery descended; disguised gentlemen and masked women in various outfits could be seen slipping through the winding paths of the alley; and even the soft knock on the door, which the little Creole often responded to, carried an air of secrecy and fear of being caught.

It was the evening of the same day when Margaret had held the long conference with the Lady Hermione, that Dame Suddlechop had directed her little portress to “keep the door fast as a miser's purse-strings; and, as she valued her saffron skin, to let in none but—-” the name she added in a whisper, and accompanied it with a nod. The little domestic blinked intelligence, went to her post, and in brief time thereafter admitted and ushered into the presence of the dame, that very city-gallant whose clothes sat awkwardly upon him, and who had behaved so doughtily in the fray which befell at Nigel's first visit to Beaujeu's ordinary. The mulatto introduced him—“Missis, fine young gentleman, all over gold and velvet “—then muttered to herself as she shut the door, “fine young gentleman, he!—apprentice to him who makes the tick-tick.”

It was the evening of the same day when Margaret had a long meeting with Lady Hermione that Dame Suddlechop instructed her little servant to “keep the door shut as tight as a miser's purse strings; and, as she valued her skin, to let in no one but—” she whispered a name and nodded. The little servant nodded in understanding, went to her post, and shortly after admitted and led into the presence of the dame that very city-dude whose clothes fit him awkwardly, and who had fought bravely during the commotion at Nigel's first visit to Beaujeu's inn. The mulatto introduced him—“Missis, here's a fine young gentleman, all dressed in gold and velvet”—then muttered to herself as she closed the door, “fine young gentleman, huh!—apprentice to the one who makes the tick-tick.”

It was indeed—we are sorry to say it, and trust our readers will sympathize with the interest we take in the matter—it was indeed honest Jin Vin, who had been so far left to his own devices, and abandoned by his better angel, as occasionally to travesty himself in this fashion, and to visit, in the dress of a gallant of the day, those places of pleasure and dissipation, in which it would have been everlasting discredit to him to have been seen in his real character and condition; that is, had it been possible for him in his proper shape to have gained admission. There was now a deep gloom on his brow, his rich habit was hastily put on, and buttoned awry; his belt buckled in a most disorderly fashion, so that his sword stuck outwards from his side, instead of hanging by it with graceful negligence; while his poniard, though fairly hatched and gilded, stuck in his girdle like a butcher's steel in the fold of his blue apron. Persons of fashion had, by the way, the advantage formerly of being better distinguished from the vulgar than at present; for, what the ancient farthingale and more modern hoop were to court ladies, the sword was to the gentleman; an article of dress, which only rendered those ridiculous who assumed it for the nonce, without being in the habit of wearing it. Vincent's rapier got between his legs, and, as he stumbled over it, he exclaimed—“Zounds! 'tis the second time it has served me thus—I believe the damned trinket knows I am no true gentleman, and does it of set purpose.”

It was, unfortunately—we regret to say this, and hope our readers will understand how much we care about this matter—it was actually honest Jin Vin, who had been left to his own devices, and abandoned by his better judgment, occasionally dressing up like this, and visiting, in the attire of a fashionable man, places of amusement and excess where it would have been a lifelong embarrassment for him to be seen in his true identity and condition; that is, if it had been possible for him, in his genuine form, to even get in. A heavy gloom hung over his brow, his fancy outfit was hastily thrown on and buttoned crookedly; his belt was buckled in a messy way, causing his sword to stick out awkwardly instead of hanging down casually; while his dagger, though nicely crafted and decorated, was wedged in his belt like a butcher's knife tucked into the fold of his blue apron. Back in the day, fashionable people had a clearer distinction from the common folk than they do now; because, just like the old farthingale and the more modern hoop were for court ladies, the sword was the mark of a gentleman; an accessory that only made those ridiculous who wore it just for show, without being accustomed to it. Vincent's rapier got caught between his legs, and as he stumbled over it, he exclaimed—“Damn it! That’s the second time this has happened—I bet that damned thing knows I’m not a real gentleman and is doing this on purpose.”

“Come, come, mine honest Jin Vin—come, my good boy,” said the dame, in a soothing tone, “never mind these trankums—a frank and hearty London 'prentice is worth all the gallants of the inns of court.”

“Come on, my honest Jin Vin—come here, my good boy,” said the woman, in a comforting tone, “don’t worry about these fancy tricks—a straightforward and sincere London apprentice is worth more than all the wealthy guys from the inns of court.”

“I was a frank and hearty London 'prentice before I knew you, Dame Suddlechop,” said Vincent; “what your advice has made me, you may find a name for; since, fore George! I am ashamed to think about it myself.”

“I was a straightforward and eager London apprentice before I knew you, Dame Suddlechop,” said Vincent; “what your advice has turned me into, you can name; because, honestly! I’m embarrassed to think about it myself.”

“A-well-a-day,” quoth the dame, “and is it even so with thee?—nay, then, I know but one cure;” and with that, going to a little corner cupboard of carved wainscoat, she opened it by the assistance of a key, which, with half-a-dozen besides, hung in a silver chain at her girdle, and produced a long flask of thin glass cased with wicker, bringing forth at the same time two Flemish rummer glasses, with long stalks and capacious wombs. She filled the one brimful for her guest, and the other more modestly to about two-thirds of its capacity, for her own use, repeating, as the rich cordial trickled forth in a smooth oily stream—“Right Rosa Solis, as ever washed mulligrubs out of a moody brain!”

“A-well-a-day,” said the woman, “is it really true with you?—well, then, I know just the remedy;” and with that, she went to a small corner cupboard made of carved wood, opened it with a key, which, along with half a dozen others, hung from a silver chain at her waist, and pulled out a long glass flask wrapped in wicker. At the same time, she brought out two Flemish glasses with long stems and wide bowls. She filled one completely for her guest and poured a more modest amount into the other, filling it about two-thirds full for herself, repeating as the rich drink flowed out in a smooth, oily stream—“Right Rosa Solis, as always washes away the blues from a gloomy mind!”

But, though Jin Vin tossed off his glass without scruple, while the lady sippped hers more moderately, it did not appear to produce the expected amendment upon his humour. On the contrary, as he threw himself into the great leathern chair, in which Dame Ursley was wont to solace herself of an evening, he declared himself “the most miserable dog within the sound of Bow-bell.”

But even though Jin Vin downed his drink without a second thought, while the lady sipped hers more slowly, it didn’t seem to improve his mood as expected. On the contrary, as he sank into the big leather chair where Dame Ursley liked to relax in the evenings, he declared himself “the most miserable guy within the sound of Bow-bell.”

“And why should you be so idle as to think yourself so, silly boy?” said Dame Suddlechop; “but 'tis always thus—fools and children never know when they are well. Why, there is not one that walks in St. Paul's, whether in flat cap, or hat and feather, that has so many kind glances from the wenches as you, when ye swagger along Fleet Street with your bat under your arm, and your cap set aside upon your head. Thou knowest well, that, from Mrs. Deputy's self down to the waist-coateers in the alley, all of them are twiring and peeping betwixt their fingers when you pass; and yet you call yourself a miserable dog! and I must tell you all this over and over again, as if I were whistling the chimes of London to a pettish child, in order to bring the pretty baby into good-humour!”

“And why should you be so lazy as to think that way, you silly boy?” said Dame Suddlechop; “but it’s always like this—fools and children never realize how good they have it. Honestly, there’s not one person walking around St. Paul's, whether in a flat cap or a feathered hat, who gets as many admiring looks from the girls as you do, when you strut down Fleet Street with your bat under your arm and your cap perched on your head. You know very well that, from Mrs. Deputy herself down to the guys in vests in the alley, they’re all peeking and glancing through their fingers when you pass by; and yet you call yourself a miserable wretch! And here I am, having to tell you this over and over, as if I were trying to ring the chimes of London to cheer up a moody child, just to put you in a better mood!”

The flattery of Dame Ursula seemed to have the fate of her cordial—it was swallowed, indeed, by the party to whom she presented it, and that with some degree of relish, but it did not operate as a sedative on the disturbed state of the youth's mind. He laughed for an instant, half in scorn, and half in gratified vanity, but cast a sullen look on Dame Ursley as he replied to her last words,

The compliments from Dame Ursula seemed to have the same outcome as her cordial—it was taken, in fact, by the person she offered it to, and that with some enjoyment, but it didn't calm the troubled state of the young man's mind. He laughed for a moment, partly in disdain and partly out of pleased vanity, but shot a gloomy glance at Dame Ursley as he responded to her last words,

“You do treat me like a child indeed, when you sing over and over to me a cuckoo song that I care not a copper-filing for.”

“You really do treat me like a child when you sing to me again and again a cuckoo song that I couldn't care less about.”

“Aha!” said Dame Ursley; “that is to say, you care not if you please all, unless you please one—You are a true lover, I warrant, and care not for all the city, from here to Whitechapel, so you could write yourself first in your pretty Peg-a-Ramsay's good-will. Well, well, take patience, man, and be guided by me, for I will be the hoop will bind you together at last.”

“Ah!” said Dame Ursley; “that means you don't care about pleasing everyone, as long as you please one person—you’re a true lover, I bet, and you don't care about the whole city, from here to Whitechapel, as long as you can win your lovely Peg-a-Ramsay’s affection. Well, well, be patient, man, and listen to me, because I’ll be the one to bring you two together in the end.”

“It is time you were so,” said Jenkin, “for hitherto you have rather been the wedge to separate us.”

“It’s about time you were,” said Jenkin, “because until now, you’ve mostly been the one driving us apart.”

Dame Suddlechop had by this time finished her cordial—it was not the first she had taken that day; and, though a woman of strong brain, and cautious at least, if not abstemious, in her potations, it may nevertheless be supposed that her patience was not improved by the regimen which she observed.

Dame Suddlechop had by this time finished her drink—it wasn't the first one she had that day; and, although she was a sharp-minded woman and careful, if not completely moderate, in her drinking, it's likely that her patience wasn't enhanced by the routine she followed.

“Why, thou ungracious and ingrate knave,” said Dame Ursley, “have not I done every thing to put thee in thy mistress's good graces? She loves gentry, the proud Scottish minx, as a Welshman loves cheese, and has her father's descent from that Duke of Daldevil, or whatsoever she calls him, as close in her heart as gold in a miser's chest, though she as seldom shows it—and none she will think of, or have, but a gentleman—and a gentleman I have made of thee, Jin Vin, the devil cannot deny that.”

“Why, you ungrateful and rude jerk,” said Dame Ursley, “haven’t I done everything to win your mistress's favor? She loves nobility, the arrogant Scottish girl, just like a Welshman loves cheese, and she holds her father's lineage from that Duke of Daldevil, or whatever she calls him, as close to her heart as a miser holds onto gold, though she rarely shows it—and she won’t think of or have anyone but a gentleman—and I’ve made you a gentleman, Jin Vin, even the devil can’t deny that.”

“You have made a fool of me,” said poor Jenkin, looking at the sleeve of his jacket.

"You've made a fool out of me," said poor Jenkin, staring at the sleeve of his jacket.

“Never the worse gentleman for that,” said Dame Ursley, laughing.

“Not a worse gentleman for that,” said Dame Ursley, laughing.

“And what is worse,” said he, turning his back to her suddenly, and writhing in his chair, “you have made a rogue of me.”

“And what’s worse,” he said, suddenly turning his back to her and squirming in his chair, “you’ve turned me into a crook.”

“Never the worse gentleman for that neither,” said Dame Ursley, in the same tone; “let a man bear his folly gaily and his knavery stoutly, and let me see if gravity or honesty will look him in the face now-a-days. Tut, man, it was only in the time of King Arthur or King Lud, that a gentleman was held to blemish his scutcheon by a leap over the line of reason or honesty—It is the bold look, the ready hand, the fine clothes, the brisk oath, and the wild brain, that makes the gallant now-a-days.”

“Not the worst gentleman for that either,” said Dame Ursley in the same tone. “Let a man take his foolishness lightly and his trickery boldly, and let’s see if honesty or seriousness can look him in the eye these days. Come on, it was only during the time of King Arthur or King Lud that a gentleman was considered to tarnish his reputation by stepping outside the bounds of reason or honesty—these days, it’s the confident look, the quick action, the stylish clothes, the spirited oath, and the wild imagination that make a dashing man.”

“I know what you have made me,” said Jin Vin; “since I have given up skittles and trap-ball for tennis and bowls, good English ale for thin Bordeaux and sour Rhenish, roast-beef and pudding for woodcocks and kickshaws—my bat for a sword, my cap for a beaver, my forsooth for a modish oath, my Christmas-box for a dice-box, my religion for the devil's matins, and mine honest name for—Woman, I could brain thee, when I think whose advice has guided me in all this!”

“I know what you’ve turned me into,” said Jin Vin; “since I’ve switched from skittles and trap-ball to tennis and bowls, from good English ale to weak Bordeaux and sour Rhenish, from roast beef and pudding to woodcocks and fancy dishes—my bat for a sword, my cap for a fancy hat, my old-fashioned ways for a modern oath, my Christmas gift for a set of dice, my faith for the devil’s morning prayers, and my good name for—Woman, I could hit you, when I think about whose advice has led me to all this!”

“Whose advice, then? whose advice, then? Speak out, thou poor, petty cloak-brusher, and say who advised thee!” retorted Dame Ursley, flushed and indignant—“Marry come up, my paltry companion—say by whose advice you have made a gamester of yourself, and a thief besides, as your words would bear—The Lord deliver us from evil!” And here Dame Ursley devoutly crossed herself.

“Whose advice was it, then? Speak up, you insignificant little cloak-brusher, and tell us who told you to do this!” Dame Ursley shot back, her face flushed and angry. “Come on, my pathetic friend—say who led you to become a gambler and a thief, as your words suggest. May we be saved from evil!” With that, Dame Ursley crossed herself in a show of devotion.

“Hark ye, Dame Ursley Suddlechop,” said Jenkin, starting up, his dark eyes flashing with anger; “remember I am none of your husband—and, if I were, you would do well not to forget whose threshold was swept when they last rode the Skimmington [Footnote: A species of triumphal procession in honour of female supremacy, when it rose to such a height as to attract the attention of the neighbourhood. It is described at full length in Hudibras. (Part II. Canto II.) As the procession passed on, those who attended it in an official capacity were wont to sweep the threshold of the houses in which Fame affirmed the mistresses to exercise paramount authority, which was given and received as a hint that their inmates might, in their turn, be made the subject of a similar ovation. The Skimmington, which in some degree resembled the proceedings of Mumbo Jumbo in an African village, has been long discontinued in England, apparently because female rule has become either milder or less frequent than among our ancestors.] upon such another scolding jade as yourself.”

“Listen up, Dame Ursley Suddlechop,” Jenkin said, jumping up, his dark eyes flashing with anger. “Just remember, I’m not your husband—and even if I were, you'd do well to remember whose doorstep was swept when they last did the Skimmington [Footnote: A type of celebratory procession honoring female dominance, especially when it became well-known in the neighborhood. It's detailed at length in Hudibras. (Part II. Canto II.) As the procession passed by, those participating officially would sweep the doorsteps of homes where it was rumored the women held the highest authority, serving as a hint that the residents might also be made the focus of a similar celebration. The Skimmington, which somewhat resembled the activities of Mumbo Jumbo in an African village, has not been practiced in England for a long time, seemingly because female authority has either softened or is less common than it was among our ancestors.] for such another nagging woman like you.”

“I hope to see you ride up Holborn next,” said Dame Ursley, provoked out of all her holiday and sugar-plum expressions, “with a nosegay at your breast, and a parson at your elbow!”

“I hope to see you riding up Holborn next,” said Dame Ursley, breaking out of all her holiday and sugar-plum cheer, “with a bouquet at your chest and a pastor by your side!”

“That may well be,” answered Jin Vin, bitterly, “if I walk by your counsels as I have begun by them; but, before that day comes, you shall know that Jin Vin has the brisk boys of Fleet Street still at his wink.—Yes, you jade, you shall be carted for bawd and conjurer, double-dyed in grain, and bing off to Bridewell, with every brass basin betwixt the Bar and Paul's beating before you, as if the devil were banging them with his beef-hook.”

“That might be true,” Jin Vin replied bitterly, “if I keep following your advice like I have started to; but before that day comes, you’ll find out that Jin Vin still has the lively guys from Fleet Street at his beck and call. — Yes, you shameless woman, you’ll be hauled off for being a pimp and a fraud, marked for it, and sent to Bridewell, with every brass basin ringing between the Bar and Paul's clanging in front of you, as if the devil himself were smashing them with his meat hook.”

Dame Ursley coloured like scarlet, seized upon the half-emptied flask of cordial, and seemed, by her first gesture, about to hurl it at the head of her adversary; but suddenly, and as if by a strong internal effort, she checked her outrageous resentment, and, putting the bottle to its more legitimate use, filled, with wonderful composure, the two glasses, and, taking up one of them, said, with a smile, which better became her comely and jovial countenance than the fury by which it was animated the moment before—

Dame Ursley blushed bright red, grabbed the half-empty bottle of cordial, and looked ready to throw it at her opponent. But suddenly, as if summoning all her self-control, she held back her anger and, with impressive calm, filled two glasses with the drink. Picking up one of the glasses, she smiled, looking much more charming and cheerful than she had just moments before in her rage—

“Here is to thee, Jin Vin, my lad, in all loving kindness, whatever spite thou bearest to me, that have always been a mother to thee.”

“Cheers to you, Jin Vin, my boy, with all my love, no matter the anger you hold against me, for I have always been like a mother to you.”

Jenkin's English good-nature could not resist this forcible appeal; he took up the other glass, and lovingly pledged the dame in her cup of reconciliation, and proceeded to make a kind of grumbling apology for his own violence—

Jenkin's good-nature couldn't resist this strong appeal; he picked up the other glass and warmly toasted the lady with her drink of reconciliation, then started to mumble an apology for his own outburst—

“For you know,” he said, “it was you persuaded me to get these fine things, and go to that godless ordinary, and ruffle it with the best, and bring you home all the news; and you said, I, that was the cock of the ward, would soon be the cock of the ordinary, and would win ten times as much at gleek and primero, as I used to do at put and beggar-my-neighbour—and turn up doublets with the dice, as busily as I was wont to trowl down the ninepins in the skittle-ground—and then you said I should bring you such news out of the ordinary as should make us all, when used as you knew how to use it—and now you see what is to come of it all!”

“For you know,” he said, “you were the one who convinced me to get these fine things, go to that godless tavern, show off with the best, and bring you home all the news; and you said that I, the top dog of the neighborhood, would soon be the top dog at the tavern, and I would win ten times as much at gleek and primero as I used to at put and beggar-my-neighbour—and roll doubles with the dice as eagerly as I used to knock down the ninepins in the bowling alley—and then you said I should bring you such news from the tavern that would benefit us all, when used as you knew how to use it—and now you see what has come of it all!”

“'Tis all true thou sayest, lad,” said the dame; “but thou must have patience. Rome was not built in a day—you cannot become used to your court-suit in a month's time, any more than when you changed your long coat for a doublet and hose; and in gaming you must expect to lose as well as gain—'tis the sitting gamester sweeps the board.”

“It's all true what you say, kid,” said the woman; “but you need to be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day—you can't get used to your court suit in a month, just like when you switched from your long coat to a doublet and hose; and in gambling, you have to expect to lose as well as win—it's the player who stays at the table that clears the board.”

“The board has swept me, I know,” replied Jin Vin, “and that pretty clean out.—I would that were the worst; but I owe for all this finery, and settling-day is coming on, and my master will find my accompt worse than it should be by a score of pieces. My old father will be called in to make them good; and I—may save the hangman a labour and do the job myself, or go the Virginia voyage.”

“The board has completely taken advantage of me, I know,” replied Jin Vin, “and that’s putting it lightly. I wish that were the only problem; but I owe for all this fancy stuff, and settling day is approaching. My master will see that my account is worse than it should be by quite a bit. My old father will have to come in to cover for me; and I—might as well spare the hangman some work and do it myself, or head off on the Virginia voyage.”

“Do not speak so loud, my dear boy,” said Dame Ursley; “but tell me why you borrow not from a friend to make up your arrear. You could lend him as much when his settling-day came round.”

“Don't speak so loudly, my dear boy,” said Dame Ursley; “but tell me why you don’t borrow from a friend to cover your debt. You could pay him back just as much when it’s time to settle up.”

“No, no—I have had enough of that work,” said Vincent. “Tunstall would lend me the money, poor fellow, an he had it; but his gentle, beggarly kindred, plunder him of all, and keep him as bare as a birch at Christmas. No—my fortune may be spelt in four letters, and these read, RUIN.”

“No, no—I’ve had enough of that work,” said Vincent. “Tunstall would lend me the money, poor guy, if he had it; but his kind, broke relatives take everything from him, leaving him as empty as a tree in winter. No—my fate can be summed up in four letters, and they spell RUIN.”

“Now hush, you simple craven,” said the dame; “did you never hear, that when the need is highest the help is nighest? We may find aid for you yet, and sooner than you are aware of. I am sure I would never have advised you to such a course, but only you had set heart and eye on pretty Mistress Marget, and less would not serve you—and what could I do but advise you to cast your city-slough, and try your luck where folks find fortune?”

“Now quiet down, you spineless coward,” said the lady; “haven’t you ever heard that when you’re in the greatest need, help is closest at hand? We might find a solution for you sooner than you think. I know I wouldn’t have suggested this path if it weren’t for your fixation on lovely Mistress Marget, and nothing less would satisfy you—and what could I do but encourage you to leave your city troubles behind and seek your luck where people find success?”

“Ay, ay—I remember your counsel well,” said Jenkin; “I was to be introduced to her by you when I was perfect in my gallantries, and as rich as the king; and then she was to be surprised to find I was poor Jin Vin, that used to watch, from matin to curfew, for one glance of her eye; and now, instead of that, she has set her soul on this Scottish sparrow-hawk of a lord that won my last tester, and be cursed to him; and so I am bankrupt in love, fortune, and character, before I am out of my time, and all along of you, Mother Midnight.”

“Ay, ay—I remember your advice well,” said Jenkin; “I was supposed to be introduced to her by you when I was perfect in my charm and as rich as a king; and then she was to be shocked to find I was poor Jin Vin, who used to watch, from morning to night, for just one glance from her; and now, instead of that, she has set her heart on this Scottish lordling who took my last penny, and damn him; and so I am broke in love, fortune, and reputation, before my time is up, all because of you, Mother Midnight.”

“Do not call me out of my own name, my dear boy, Jin Vin,” answered Ursula, in a tone betwixt rage and coaxing,—“do not; because I am no saint, but a poor sinful woman, with no more patience than she needs, to carry her through a thousand crosses. And if I have done you wrong by evil counsel, I must mend it and put you right by good advice. And for the score of pieces that must be made up at settling-day, why, here is, in a good green purse, as much as will make that matter good; and we will get old Crosspatch, the tailor, to take a long day for your clothes; and—”

“Don’t call me by a name I don’t recognize, my dear boy, Jin Vin,” Ursula replied, a mix of anger and coaxing in her tone. “Please don’t; because I’m no saint, just a flawed woman with just enough patience to deal with a thousand troubles. If I’ve given you bad advice, I need to fix that and guide you with better advice. And regarding the amount that needs settling, here’s a nice green purse with enough to cover it; we can ask old Crosspatch, the tailor, to take his time with your clothes; and—”

“Mother, are you serious?” said Jin Vin, unable to trust either his eyes or his ears.

“Mom, are you serious?” Jin Vin said, unable to trust either his eyes or his ears.

“In troth am I,” said the dame; “and will you call me Mother Midnight now, Jin Vin?”

“In truth, I am,” said the lady; “and will you call me Mother Midnight now, Jin Vin?”

“Mother Midnight!” exclaimed Jenkin, hugging the dame in his transport, and bestowing on her still comely cheek a hearty and not unacceptable smack, that sounded like the report of a pistol,—“Mother Midday, rather, that has risen to light me out of my troubles—a mother more dear than she who bore me; for she, poor soul, only brought me into a world of sin and sorrow, and your timely aid has helped me out of the one and the other.” And the good-natured fellow threw himself back in his chair, and fairly drew his hand across his eyes.

“Mother Midnight!” exclaimed Jenkin, hugging the lady in his excitement and giving her still attractive cheek a hearty kiss that sounded like a gunshot. “I mean Mother Midday, who has come to help me out of my troubles—a mother more precious than the one who gave birth to me; because she, poor thing, only brought me into a world of sin and sorrow, and your timely help has gotten me out of both.” And the good-natured guy leaned back in his chair and wiped his eyes.

“You would not have me be made to ride the Skimmington then,” said the dame; “or parade me in a cart, with all the brass basins of the ward beating the march to Bridewell before me?”

“You wouldn't want me to be paraded on the Skimmington then,” said the dame; “or to be put in a cart, with all the brass basins of the neighborhood banging away to Bridewell in front of me?”

“I would sooner be carted to Tyburn myself,” replied the penitent.

"I'd rather be taken to Tyburn myself," replied the penitent.

“Why, then, sit up like a man, and wipe thine eyes; and, if thou art pleased with what I have done, I will show thee how thou mayst requite me in the highest degree.”

“Why, then, sit up like a man and wipe your eyes; and if you’re pleased with what I’ve done, I’ll show you how you can repay me in the best way possible.”

“How?” said Jenkin Vincent, sitting straight up in his chair.—“You would have me, then, do you some service for this friendship of yours?”

“How?” said Jenkin Vincent, sitting up straight in his chair. — “You want me to do something for you in return for this friendship?”

“Ay, marry would I,” said Dame Ursley; “for you are to know, that though I am right glad to stead you with it, this gold is not mine, but was placed in my hands in order to find a trusty agent, for a certain purpose; and so—But what's the matter with you?—are you fool enough to be angry because you cannot get a purse of gold for nothing? I would I knew where such were to come by. I never could find them lying in my road, I promise you.”

“Ay, of course I would,” said Dame Ursley; “but you should know that while I’m happy to help you out with it, this gold isn’t mine. It was given to me to find a trustworthy agent for a specific reason. So—But what’s wrong with you?—are you really upset because you can’t just get a bag of gold for nothing? I wish I knew where to find such things. I’ve never seen them just lying around, I promise you.”

“No, no, dame,” said poor Jenkin, “it is not for that; for, look you, I would rather work these ten bones to the knuckles, and live by my labour; but—” (and here he paused.)

“No, no, ma'am,” said poor Jenkin, “it’s not about that; you see, I’d rather work these ten fingers to the bone and earn my living through hard work; but—” (and here he paused.)

“But what, man?” said Dame Ursley. “You are willing to work for what you want; and yet, when I offer you gold for the winning, you look on me as the devil looks over Lincoln.”

“But what’s going on, man?” said Dame Ursley. “You’re ready to put in the effort for what you want; and yet, when I offer you money for the win, you look at me like the devil looks at Lincoln.”

“It is ill talking of the devil, mother,” said Jenkin. “I had him even now in my head—for, look you, I am at that pass, when they say he will appear to wretched ruined creatures, and proffer them gold for the fee-simple of their salvation. But I have been trying these two days to bring my mind strongly up to the thought, that I will rather sit down in shame, and sin, and sorrow, as I am like to do, than hold on in ill courses to get rid of my present straits; and so take care, Dame Ursula, how you tempt me to break such a good resolution.”

“It’s bad to talk about the devil, Mom,” said Jenkin. “I just had him on my mind—because, you see, I'm at that point where people say he shows up to miserable, ruined souls and offers them gold in exchange for their salvation. But for the past two days, I've been trying hard to convince myself that I’d rather sit in shame, sin, and sorrow, as I’m likely to do, than continue down a bad path just to escape my current troubles. So be careful, Dame Ursula, about how you tempt me to break such a good resolution.”

“I tempt you to nothing, young man,” answered Ursula; “and, as I perceive you are too wilful to be wise, I will e'en put my purse in my pocket, and look out for some one that will work my turn with better will, and more thankfulness. And you may go your own course,—break your indenture, ruin your father, lose your character, and bid pretty Mistress Margaret farewell, for ever and a day.”

"I’m not tempting you to anything, young man," Ursula replied. "And since I see you're too stubborn to see reason, I’ll just put my purse away and look for someone who will do what I need with more enthusiasm and gratitude. You can follow your own path—break your contract, ruin your father, lose your reputation, and say goodbye to pretty Mistress Margaret for good."

“Stay, stay,” said Jenkin “the woman is in as great a hurry as a brown baker when his oven is overheated. First, let me hear that which you have to propose to me.”

“Hold on, hold on,” said Jenkin, “she's as rushed as a baker when his oven's too hot. First, I want to hear what you have to say.”

“Why, after all, it is but to get a gentleman of rank and fortune, who is in trouble, carried in secret down the river, as far as the Isle of Dogs, or somewhere thereabout, where he may lie concealed until he can escape aboard. I know thou knowest every place by the river's side as well as the devil knows an usurer, or the beggar knows his dish.”

“Why, after all, it’s just to help a well-off gentleman in trouble get secretly taken down the river, as far as the Isle of Dogs or somewhere nearby, where he can hide until he’s able to escape on a boat. I know you know every spot along the river as well as the devil knows a loan shark, or as well as a beggar knows his bowl.”

“A plague of your similes, dame,” replied the apprentice; “for the devil gave me that knowledge, and beggary may be the end on't.—But what has this gentleman done, that he should need to be under hiding? No Papist, I hope—no Catesby and Piercy business—no Gunpowder Plot?”

“A bunch of your comparisons, lady,” replied the apprentice; “because the devil taught me that skill, and being broke might be the result of it.—But what has this guy done that he needs to be in hiding? I hope he’s not a Papist—no Catesby and Piercy stuff—no Gunpowder Plot?”

“Fy, fy!—what do you take me for?” said Dame Ursula. “I am as good a churchwoman as the parson's wife, save that necessary business will not allow me to go there oftener than on Christmas-day, heaven help me!—No, no—this is no Popish matter. The gentleman hath but struck another in the Park—”

“Ugh!—what do you think I am?” said Dame Ursula. “I’m just as good a churchgoer as the parson's wife, except that I can't go more often than on Christmas day, God help me!—No, no—this isn't a Catholic thing. The gentleman just got into a fight with someone in the Park—”

“Ha! what?” said Vincent, interrupting her with a start.

“Ha! What?” Vincent said, interrupting her abruptly.

“Ay, ay, I see you guess whom I mean. It is even he we have spoken of so often—just Lord Glenvarloch, and no one else.”

“Ay, ay, I see you guess who I mean. It’s exactly him we’ve talked about so often—just Lord Glenvarloch, and no one else.”

Vincent sprung from his seat, and traversed the room with rapid and disorderly steps.

Vincent jumped up from his seat and rushed around the room with quick and chaotic steps.

“There, there it is now—you are always ice or gunpowder. You sit in the great leathern armchair, as quiet as a rocket hangs upon the frame in a rejoicing-night till the match be fired, and then, whizz! you are in the third heaven, beyond the reach of the human voice, eye, or brain.—When you have wearied yourself with padding to and fro across the room, will you tell me your determination, for time presses? Will you aid me in this matter, or not?”

“There it is again—you’re either cold as ice or explosive like gunpowder. You’re sitting in the big leather armchair, all still like a rocket hanging in the air on a celebratory night until the match is struck, and then, whoosh! You’re soaring high, beyond what any voice, eye, or mind can grasp.—After you’ve tired yourself out pacing around the room, will you share your decision with me? Time is running short. Will you help me with this, or not?”

“No—no—no—a thousand times no,” replied Jenkin. “Have you not confessed to me, that Margaret loves him?”

“No—no—no—a thousand times no,” replied Jenkin. “Haven’t you admitted to me that Margaret loves him?”

“Ay,” answered the dame, “that she thinks she does; but that will not last long.”

“Yeah,” replied the woman, “she thinks she does; but that won't last long.”

“And have I not told you but this instant,” replied Jenkin, “that it was this same Glenvarloch that rooked me, at the ordinary, of every penny I had, and made a knave of me to boot, by gaining more than was my own?—O that cursed gold, which Shortyard, the mercer, paid me that morning on accompt, for mending the clock of Saint Stephen's! If I had not, by ill chance, had that about me, I could but have beggared my purse, without blemishing my honesty; and, after I had been rooked of all the rest amongst them, I must needs risk the last five pieces with that shark among the minnows!”

“And didn’t I just tell you,” replied Jenkin, “that it was this same Glenvarloch who tricked me at the tavern out of every penny I had, and made a fool of me by taking more than what was mine?—Oh, that cursed gold, which Shortyard, the merchant, paid me that morning for fixing the clock at Saint Stephen's! If I hadn't happened to have that on me by bad luck, I could have emptied my pockets without ruining my integrity; and after being robbed of everything else by them, I had to risk the last five coins with that predator among the small fry!”

“Granted,” said Dame Ursula. “All this I know; and I own, that as Lord Glenvarloch was the last you played with, you have a right to charge your ruin on his head. Moreover, I admit, as already said, that Margaret has made him your rival. Yet surely, now he is in danger to lose his hand, it is not a time to remember all this?”

“Okay,” said Dame Ursula. “I know all this; and I admit that since Lord Glenvarloch was the last person you played with, you have a right to blame him for your downfall. Furthermore, I acknowledge, as I’ve mentioned before, that Margaret has made him your rival. Still, now that he’s in danger of losing his hand, isn’t it a bit inappropriate to be thinking about all of this?”

“By my faith, but it is, though,” said the young citizen. “Lose his hand, indeed? They may take his head, for what I care. Head and hand have made me a miserable wretch!”

“By my faith, it really is,” said the young citizen. “Lose his hand, really? They can take his head for all I care. Head and hand have made me a miserable wreck!”

“Now, were it not better, my prince of flat-caps,” said Dame Ursula, “that matters were squared between you; and that, through means of the same Scottish lord, who has, as you say, deprived you of your money and your mistress, you should in a short time recover both?”

“Now, wouldn’t it be better, my prince of flat-caps,” said Dame Ursula, “if you sorted things out with him; and that, through the same Scottish lord, who has, as you put it, taken your money and your lady, you could get both back soon?”

“And how can your wisdom come to that conclusion, dame?” said the apprentice. “My money, indeed, I can conceive—that is, if I comply with your proposal; but—my pretty Marget!—how serving this lord, whom she has set her nonsensical head upon, can do me good with her, is far beyond my conception.”

“And how did you come to that conclusion, ma'am?” the apprentice said. “I can understand my money, sure—that is, if I go along with your suggestion; but—my lovely Marget!—how serving this lord, whom she’s foolishly set her sights on, can help me with her is totally beyond me.”

“That is because, in simple phrase,” said Dame Ursula, “thou knowest no more of a woman's heart than doth a Norfolk gosling. Look you, man. Were I to report to Mistress Margaret that the young lord has miscarried through thy lack of courtesy in refusing to help him, why, then, thou wert odious to her for ever. She will loathe thee as she will loathe the very cook who is to strike off Glenvarloch's hand with his cleaver—and then she will be yet more fixed in her affections towards this lord. London will hear of nothing but him—speak of nothing but him—think of nothing but him, for three weeks at least, and all that outcry will serve to keep him uppermost in her mind; for nothing pleases a girl so much as to bear relation to any one who is the talk of the whole world around her. Then, if he suffer this sentence of the law, it is a chance if she ever forgets him. I saw that handsome, proper young gentleman Babington, suffer in the Queen's time myself, and though I was then but a girl, he was in my head for a year after he was hanged. But, above all, pardoned or punished, Glenvarloch will probably remain in London, and his presence will keep up the silly girl's nonsensical fancy about him. Whereas, if he escapes—”

“That’s because, simply put,” said Dame Ursula, “you know no more about a woman’s heart than a Norfolk gosling. Listen, man. If I were to tell Mistress Margaret that the young lord has suffered because you were too rude to help him, then she would hate you forever. She would loathe you as much as she would loathe the cook who is going to chop off Glenvarloch’s hand with his cleaver— and then she would be even more devoted to this lord. London will hear nothing but him—talk about nothing but him—think about nothing but him, for at least three weeks, and all that noise will keep him at the forefront of her mind; nothing delights a girl more than to be connected to someone who is the center of attention all around her. Then, if he faces this punishment, there’s a good chance she’ll never forget him. I witnessed that handsome, charming young gentleman Babington suffer in the Queen’s time myself, and even though I was just a girl then, he occupied my thoughts for a year after he was hanged. But above all, whether pardoned or punished, Glenvarloch will likely stay in London, and his presence will keep fueling the silly girl’s ridiculous crush on him. But if he escapes—”

“Ay, show me how that is to avail me?” said Jenkin. “If he escapes,” said the dame, resuming her argument, “he must resign the Court for years, if not for life; and you know the old saying, 'out of sight, and out of mind.'”

“Yeah, show me how that’s supposed to help me?” said Jenkin. “If he gets away,” the woman continued her argument, “he’ll have to stay away from the Court for years, if not for life; and you know the old saying, ‘out of sight, out of mind.’”

“True—most true,” said Jenkin; “spoken like an oracle, most wise Ursula.”

“Absolutely—so true,” said Jenkin; “spoken like a prophet, very wise Ursula.”

“Ay, ay, I knew you would hear reason at last,” said the wily dame; “and then, when this same lord is off and away for once and for ever, who, I pray you, is to be pretty pet's confidential person, and who is to fill up the void in her affections?—why, who but thou, thou pearl of 'prentices! And then you will have overcome your own inclinations to comply with hers, and every woman is sensible of that—and you will have run some risk, too, in carrying her desires into effect—and what is it that woman likes better than bravery, and devotion to her will? Then you have her secret, and she must treat you with favour and observance, and repose confidence in you, and hold private intercourse with you, till she weeps with one eye for the absent lover whom she is never to see again, and blinks with the other blithely upon him who is in presence; and then if you know not how to improve the relation in which you stand with her, you are not the brisk lively lad that all the world takes you for—Said I well?”

“Yeah, I knew you’d come around eventually,” said the clever woman. “And when this lord is finally gone for good, who do you think will be the confidential person for our pretty pet? Who will fill the empty space in her heart? Why, only you, you gem of an apprentice! Then you will have set aside your own desires to fulfill hers, and every woman appreciates that—and you’ll have taken some risks to make her wishes come true—and what do women value more than courage and devotion to their desires? Then you’ll have her secret, and she has to treat you well and confide in you, and have private talks with you, until she cries with one eye for the lost lover she’ll never see again, while she cheerfully looks at you with the other; and if you don’t know how to take advantage of your position with her, then you’re not as lively and charming as everyone thinks you are—Am I right?”

“You have spoken like an empress, most mighty Ursula,” said Jenkin Vincent; “and your will shall be obeyed.”

“You've spoken like an empress, most powerful Ursula,” said Jenkin Vincent; “and your wish will be followed.”

“You know Alsatia well?” continued his tutoress.

“You know Alsatia well?” continued his tutor.

“Well enough, well enough,” replied he with a nod; “I have heard the dice rattle there in my day, before I must set up for gentleman, and go among the gallants at the Shavaleer Bojo's, as they call him,—the worse rookery of the two, though the feathers are the gayest.”

“Well enough, well enough,” he replied with a nod; “I've heard the dice rattle there in my time, before I had to act like a gentleman and join the crowd at Shavaleer Bojo's, as they call him—the worse of the two places, even though the decor is the flashiest.”

“And they will have a respect for thee yonder, I warrant?”

“And they will respect you over there, I guarantee?”

“Ay, ay,” replied Vin, “when I am got into my fustian doublet again, with my bit of a trunnion under my arm, I can walk Alsatia at midnight as I could do that there Fleet Street in midday—they will not one of them swagger with the prince of 'prentices, and the king of clubs—they know I could bring every tall boy in the ward down upon them.”

“Ay, ay,” Vin replied, “when I’m back in my fustian doublet, with my little trunnion under my arm, I can stroll through Alsatia at midnight just like I could walk down Fleet Street at noon—they won’t dare swagger in front of the prince of apprentices and the king of clubs—they know I could bring down every tough guy in the neighborhood on them.”

“And you know all the watermen, and so forth?”

“And you know all the watermen and everything?”

“Can converse with every sculler in his own language, from Richmond to Gravesend, and know all the water-cocks, from John Taylor the Poet to little Grigg the Grinner, who never pulls but he shows all his teeth from ear to ear, as if he were grimacing through a horse-collar.”

“Can talk to every rower in their own language, from Richmond to Gravesend, and knows all the local characters, from John Taylor the Poet to little Grigg the Grinner, who always shows off his big smile from ear to ear, like he's grinning through a horse-collar.”

“And you can take any dress or character upon you well, such as a waterman's, a butcher's, a foot-soldier's,” continued Ursula, “or the like?”

“And you can wear any dress or take on any role, like a waterman, a butcher, a foot soldier, or something similar?” continued Ursula.

“Not such a mummer as I am within the walls, and thou knowest that well enough, dame,” replied the apprentice. “I can touch the players themselves, at the Ball and at the Fortune, for presenting any thing except a gentleman. Take but this d—d skin of frippery off me, which I think the devil stuck me into, and you shall put me into nothing else that I will not become as if I were born to it.”

“Not as much of a fake as I am behind these walls, and you know that very well, lady,” replied the apprentice. “I can handle the actors themselves, at the Ball and at the Fortune, when it comes to presenting anything but a gentleman. Just take this damn disguise off me, which I feel like the devil forced me into, and you’ll see that I can fit into anything else as if I was made for it.”

“Well, we will talk of your transmutation by and by,” said the dame, “and find you clothes withal, and money besides; for it will take a good deal to carry the thing handsomely through.”

“Well, we’ll discuss your transformation soon,” said the woman, “and we’ll find you some clothes and money too; because it’s going to take a fair amount to pull this off properly.”

“But where is that money to come from, dame?” said Jenkin; “there is a question I would fain have answered before I touch it.”

“But where is that money going to come from, lady?” said Jenkin; “that’s a question I’d really like answered before I get involved.”

“Why, what a fool art thou to ask such a question! Suppose I am content to advance it to please young madam, what is the harm then?”

“Why, what a fool you are to ask such a question! If I'm happy to promote it to please the young lady, what’s the harm in that?”

“I will suppose no such thing,” said Jenkin, hastily; “I know that you, dame, have no gold to spare, and maybe would not spare it if you had—so that cock will not crow. It must be from Margaret herself.”

“I’m not buying that for a second,” Jenkin said quickly. “I know you, ma'am, don’t have any extra gold to give, and maybe you wouldn’t share it even if you did—so that’s not going to happen. It has to come from Margaret herself.”

“Well, thou suspicious animal, and what if it were?” said Ursula.

“Well, you suspicious creature, and what if it were?” said Ursula.

“Only this,” replied Jenkin, “that I will presently to her, and learn if she has come fairly by so much ready money; for sooner than connive at her getting it by any indirection, I would hang myself at once. It is enough what I have done myself, no need to engage poor Margaret in such villainy—I'll to her, and tell her of the danger—I will, by heaven!”

“Only this,” replied Jenkin, “that I’ll go to her right now and find out if she has come by that much cash honestly; because I’d rather hang myself than turn a blind eye to her getting it through any shady means. I've done enough myself; there’s no need to drag poor Margaret into such wrongdoing—I’ll go to her and warn her about the danger—I will, I swear!”

“You are mad to think of it,” said Dame Suddlechop, considerably alarmed—“hear me but a moment. I know not precisely from whom she got the money; but sure I am that she obtained it at her godfather's.”

“You're crazy to think about it,” said Dame Suddlechop, quite worried—“just listen to me for a moment. I don’t know exactly where she got the money, but I’m sure she got it from her godfather.”

“Why, Master George Heriot is not returned from France,” said Jenkin.

“Why, Master George Heriot hasn't come back from France,” said Jenkin.

“No,” replied Ursula, “but Dame Judith is at home—and the strange lady, whom they call Master Heriot's ghost—she never goes abroad.”

“No,” replied Ursula, “but Dame Judith is home—and the mysterious lady, who they call Master Heriot's ghost—she never goes outside.”

“It is very true, Dame Suddlechop,” said Jenkin; “and I believe you have guessed right—they say that lady has coin at will; and if Marget can get a handful of fairy-gold, why, she is free to throw it away at will.”

“It’s true, Dame Suddlechop,” said Jenkin; “and I think you’re right—they say that lady has money whenever she wants; and if Marget can get a handful of fairy gold, then she can spend it however she likes.”

“Ah, Jin Vin,” said the dame, reducing her voice almost to a whisper, “we should not want gold at will neither, could we but read the riddle of that lady!”

“Ah, Jin Vin,” said the woman, lowering her voice almost to a whisper, “we shouldn’t wish for gold at our convenience either, if only we could figure out the mystery of that lady!”

“They may read it that list,” said Jenkin, “I'll never pry into what concerns me not—Master George Heriot is a worthy and brave citizen, and an honour to London, and has a right to manage his own household as he likes best.—There was once a talk of rabbling him the fifth of November before the last, because they said he kept a nunnery in his house, like old Lady Foljambe; but Master George is well loved among the 'prentices, and we got so many brisk boys of us together as should have rabbled the rabble, had they had but the heart to rise.”

“They can read that list,” said Jenkin, “but I won’t pry into matters that don’t concern me—Master George Heriot is a decent and brave citizen, an honor to London, and he has every right to run his own household however he sees fit. There was once talk of dragging him out on the fifth of November last year, because they claimed he ran a nunnery in his house, like old Lady Foljambe; but Master George is really well-liked among the apprentices, and we had enough spirited guys among us who would have taken on the rabble, if they had just had the guts to stand up.”

“Well, let that pass,” said Ursula; “and now, tell me how you will manage to be absent from shop a day or two, for you must think that this matter will not be ended sooner.”

“Well, let’s move on,” said Ursula; “and now, tell me how you plan to be away from the shop for a day or two, because you should know this situation isn’t going to be resolved any time soon.”

“Why, as to that, I can say nothing,” said Jenkin, “I have always served duly and truly; I have no heart to play truant, and cheat my master of his time as well as his money.”

“Honestly, I can’t say anything about that,” Jenkin replied. “I’ve always served faithfully; I have no desire to skip out and cheat my boss out of his time and money.”

“Nay, but the point is to get back his money for him,” said Ursula, “which he is not likely to see on other conditions. Could you not ask leave to go down to your uncle in Essex for two or three days? He may be ill, you know.”

“Nah, but the goal is to get his money back for him,” said Ursula, “which he probably won't see under any other conditions. Could you ask for permission to go down to your uncle in Essex for a couple of days? He might be sick, you know.”

“Why, if I must, I must,” said Jenkin, with a heavy sigh; “but I will not be lightly caught treading these dark and crooked paths again.”

“Fine, if I have to, I have to,” said Jenkin, with a heavy sigh; “but I won’t let myself get caught walking these dark and twisted paths again.”

“Hush thee, then,” said the dame, “and get leave for this very evening; and come back hither, and I will introduce you to another implement, who must be employed in the matter.—Stay, stay!—the lad is mazed—you would not go into your master's shop in that guise, surely? Your trunk is in the matted chamber, with your 'prentice things—go and put them on as fast as you can.”

“Hush, then,” said the woman, “and get permission for this very evening; and come back here, and I will introduce you to another tool that needs to be used in this matter.—Wait, wait!—the boy is confused—you wouldn't go into your boss's shop looking like that, would you? Your gear is in the messy room, along with your apprentice stuff—go and put it on as quickly as you can.”

“I think I am bewitched,” said Jenkin, giving a glance towards his dress, “or that these fool's trappings have made as great an ass of me as of many I have seen wear them; but let line once be rid of the harness, and if you catch me putting it on again, I will give you leave to sell me to a gipsy, to carry pots, pans, and beggar's bantlings, all the rest of my life.” So saying, he retired to change his apparel.

“I think I’m under a spell,” said Jenkin, glancing at his outfit, “or that these silly clothes have made me as big a fool as many I’ve seen wear them. But once I’m done with this getup, if you ever see me putting it on again, I’ll let you sell me to a gypsy to carry pots, pans, and beggar's kids for the rest of my life.” With that, he went to change his clothes.










CHAPTER XXII

  Chance will not do the work—Chance sends the breeze;
  But if the pilot slumber at the helm,
  The very wind that wafts us towards the port
  May dash us on the shelves.—The steersman's part is vigilance,
  Blow it or rough or smooth.
                               Old Play.
  Luck won’t get the job done—luck brings the breeze;  
  But if the pilot falls asleep at the helm,  
  The very wind that pushes us toward the port  
  May crash us onto the rocks.—The steersman’s job is to stay alert,  
  Whether it’s calm or stormy.  
                               Old Play.

We left Nigel, whose fortunes we are bound to trace by the engagement contracted in our title-page, sad and solitary in the mansion of Trapbois the usurer, having just received a letter instead of a visit from his friend the Templar, stating reasons why he could not at that time come to see him in Alsatia. So that it appeared that his intercourse with the better and more respectable class of society, was, for the present, entirely cut off. This was a melancholy, and, to a proud mind like that of Nigel, a degrading reflection.

We left Nigel, whose journey we are meant to follow as promised in our title, feeling sad and alone in the mansion of Trapbois the moneylender. He had just received a letter instead of a visit from his friend the Templar, explaining why he couldn’t come to see him in Alsatia at that moment. It seemed that his connection with the more respectable parts of society was completely severed for the time being. This was a depressing thought and, for someone as proud as Nigel, a humiliating one.

He went to the window of his apartment, and found the street enveloped in one of those thick, dingy, yellow-coloured fogs, which often invest the lower part of London and Westminster. Amid the darkness, dense and palpable, were seen to wander like phantoms a reveller or two, whom the morning had surprised where the evening left them; and who now, with tottering steps, and by an instinct which intoxication could not wholly overcome, were groping the way to their own homes, to convert day into night, for the purpose of sleeping off the debauch which had turned night into day. Although it was broad day in the other parts of the city, it was scarce dawn yet in Alsatia; and none of the sounds of industry or occupation were there heard, which had long before aroused the slumberers in any other quarter. The prospect was too tiresome and disagreeable to detain Lord Glenvarloch at his station, so, turning from the window, he examined with more interest the furniture and appearance of the apartment which he tenanted.

He went to the window of his apartment and found the street shrouded in one of those thick, grimy, yellow fogs that often cover the lower part of London and Westminster. In the dark, dense fog, he could barely see a couple of partygoers wandering like ghosts, caught out by the morning light where the evening had left them. Now, with unsteady steps and an instinct that even intoxication couldn't fully dull, they were feeling their way home, turning day into night to sleep off the binge that had turned night into day. Even though it was full daylight in other parts of the city, it was hardly dawn yet in Alsatia; there were no sounds of work or activity that had already awakened sleepers in other areas. The scene was too tiresome and unpleasant for Lord Glenvarloch to stay by the window, so he turned away and took a closer look at the furniture and decor of his apartment.

Much of it had been in its time rich and curious—there was a huge four-post bed, with as much carved oak about it as would have made the head of a man-of-war, and tapestry hangings ample enough to have been her sails. There was a huge mirror with a massy frame of gilt brass-work, which was of Venetian manufacture, and must have been worth a considerable sum before it received the tremendous crack, which, traversing it from one corner to the other, bore the same proportion to the surface that the Nile bears to the map of Egypt. The chairs were of different forms and shapes, some had been carved, some gilded, some covered with damasked leather, some with embroidered work, but all were damaged and worm-eaten. There was a picture of Susanna and the Elders over the chimney-piece, which might have been accounted a choice piece, had not the rats made free with the chaste fair one's nose, and with the beard of one of her reverend admirers.

Much of it had once been rich and intriguing—there was a large four-poster bed, with enough carved oak to build the bow of a battleship, and tapestry hangings large enough to serve as sails. There was a big mirror with a heavy gilt brass frame, made in Venice, and it must have been worth a lot before it got a massive crack that stretched from one corner to the other, resembling how the Nile runs across a map of Egypt. The chairs were all different in style and shape; some were carved, some gilded, some covered in damasked leather, and others with embroidery, but all were damaged and eaten by worms. There was a painting of Susanna and the Elders above the fireplace, which could have been considered a fine piece, if the rats hadn't nibbled off the chaste woman's nose and one of her respectable admirers' beards.

In a word, all that Lord Glenvarloch saw, seemed to have been articles carried off by appraisement or distress, or bought as pennyworths at some obscure broker's, and huddled together in the apartment, as in a sale-room, without regard to taste or congruity.

In short, everything Lord Glenvarloch saw looked like items that had been taken away due to debts, bought at a bargain from some unknown dealer, and crammed into the room like a auction space, with no consideration for style or harmony.

The place appeared to Nigel to resemble the houses near the sea-coast, which are too often furnished with the spoils of wrecked vessels, as this was probably fitted up with the relics of ruined profligates.—“My own skiff is among the breakers,” thought Lord Glenvarloch, “though my wreck will add little to the profits of the spoiler.”

The place seemed to Nigel like the houses by the coast, which are often decorated with the remains of shipwrecks, just like this one was probably put together with the leftovers of ruined spendthrifts. “My own boat is among the wreckage,” thought Lord Glenvarloch, “but my loss won't really contribute to the gains of the looter.”

He was chiefly interested in the state of the grate, a huge assemblage of rusted iron bars which stood in the chimney, unequally supported by three brazen feet, moulded into the form of lion's claws, while the fourth, which had been bent by an accident, seemed proudly uplifted as if to paw the ground; or as if the whole article had nourished the ambitious purpose of pacing forth into the middle of the apartment, and had one foot ready raised for the journey. A smile passed over Nigel's face as this fantastic idea presented itself to his fancy.—“I must stop its march, however,” he thought; “for this morning is chill and raw enough to demand some fire.”

He was mainly focused on the grate, a large collection of rusted iron bars sitting in the chimney, unevenly supported by three shiny feet shaped like lion's claws, while the fourth, which had been bent in an accident, seemed to be lifted as if to scratch the ground; or as if the whole thing had the grand intention of walking out into the middle of the room, with one foot already raised for the trip. A smile came to Nigel's face as this quirky thought crossed his mind. “I have to stop its journey, though,” he thought; “because this morning is cold and damp enough to need a fire.”

He called accordingly from the top of a large staircase, with a heavy oaken balustrade, which gave access to his own and other apartments, for the house was old and of considerable size; but, receiving no answer to his repeated summons, he was compelled to go in search of some one who might accommodate him with what he wanted.

He called out from the top of a large staircase, with a heavy wooden railing, that led to his and other rooms, since the house was old and quite big. But when he got no response to his repeated calls, he had to go look for someone who could help him with what he needed.

Nigel had, according to the fashion of the old world in Scotland, received an education which might, in most particulars, be termed simple, hardy, and unostentatious; but he had, nevertheless, been accustomed to much personal deference, and to the constant attendance and ministry of one or more domestics. This was the universal custom in Scotland, where wages were next to nothing, and where, indeed, a man of title or influence might have as many attendants as he pleased, for the mere expense of food, clothes, and countenance. Nigel was therefore mortified and displeased when he found himself without notice or attendance; and the more dissatisfied, because he was at the same time angry with himself for suffering such a trifle to trouble him at all, amongst matters of more deep concernment. “There must surely be some servants in so large a house as this,” said he, as he wandered over the place, through which he was conducted by a passage which branched off from the gallery. As he went on, he tried the entrance to several apartments, some of which he found were locked and others unfurnished, all apparently unoccupied; so that at length he returned to the staircase, and resolved to make his way down to the lower part of the house, where he supposed he must at least find the old gentleman, and his ill-favoured daughter. With this purpose he first made his entrance into a little low, dark parlour, containing a well-worn leathern easy-chair, before which stood a pair of slippers, while on the left side rested a crutch-handled staff; an oaken table stood before it, and supported a huge desk clamped with iron, and a massive pewter inkstand. Around the apartment were shelves, cabinets, and other places convenient for depositing papers. A sword, musketoon, and a pair of pistols, hung over the chimney, in ostentatious display, as if to intimate that the proprietor would be prompt in the defence of his premises.

Nigel had, in keeping with the old Scottish way, received an education that could mostly be described as simple, tough, and modest; however, he was used to being treated with a lot of respect and having one or more servants constantly attending to him. This was the common practice in Scotland, where wages were almost nothing, and where a man of title or influence could have as many attendants as he wanted, just covering the costs of food and clothing. So, Nigel felt embarrassed and frustrated when he realized he was alone without any service; he was even more annoyed at himself for letting such a minor issue bother him when there were bigger concerns at hand. “There must be some servants in such a large house as this,” he thought as he walked around, guided through a passage that branched off from the gallery. As he continued, he tried several doors, finding some locked and others empty and unfurnished, all seemingly unoccupied. Eventually, he returned to the staircase and decided to head down to the lower part of the house, where he figured he would at least find the old man and his unattractive daughter. With that in mind, he first entered a small, dim parlour, which had a well-worn leather armchair in it, a pair of slippers in front of the chair, and a crutch-handled staff resting on the left side. An oak table stood in front of it, supporting a large iron-bound desk and a sturdy pewter inkstand. The walls were lined with shelves, cabinets, and other spots for storing papers. A sword, musketoon, and a pair of pistols hung above the fireplace, prominently displayed as if to signal that the owner would be ready to defend his home.

“This must be the usurer's den,” thought Nigel; and he was about to call aloud, when the old man, awakened even by the slightest noise, for avarice seldom sleeps sound, soon was heard from the inner room, speaking in a voice of irritability, rendered more tremulous by his morning cough.

“This has to be the moneylender's lair,” thought Nigel; and he was about to shout out, when the old man, stirred even by the faintest sound, since greed rarely allows for peaceful sleep, was soon heard from the back room, speaking in an irritable voice, made even shakier by his morning cough.

“Ugh, ugh, ugh—who is there? I say—ugh, ugh—who is there? Why, Martha!—ugh! ugh—Martha Trapbois—here be thieves in the house, and they will not speak to me—why, Martha!—thieves, thieves—ugh, ugh, ugh!”

“Ugh, ugh, ugh—who's there? I say—ugh, ugh—who's there? Oh, Martha!—ugh! ugh—Martha Trapbois—there are thieves in the house, and they won't talk to me—oh, Martha!—thieves, thieves—ugh, ugh, ugh!”

Nigel endeavoured to explain, but the idea of thieves had taken possession of the old man's pineal gland, and he kept coughing and screaming, and screaming and coughing, until the gracious Martha entered the apartment; and, having first outscreamed her father, in order to convince him that there was no danger, and to assure him that the intruder was their new lodger, and having as often heard her sire ejaculate—“Hold him fast—ugh, ugh—hold him fast till I come,” she at length succeeded in silencing his fears and his clamour, and then coldly and dryly asked Lord Glenvarloch what he wanted in her father's apartment.

Nigel tried to explain, but the thought of thieves had completely taken over the old man's mind, and he kept coughing and screaming, and screaming and coughing, until the kind Martha walked into the room; and, having first outshouted her father to convince him there was no danger and to assure him that the intruder was their new lodger, and having often heard him shout—“Hold him tight—ugh, ugh—hold him tight until I get there,” she finally succeeded in quieting his fears and his noise, and then coldly and dryly asked Lord Glenvarloch what he wanted in her father's apartment.

Her lodger had, in the meantime, leisure to contemplate her appearance, which did not by any means improve the idea he had formed of it by candlelight on the preceding evening. She was dressed in what was called a Queen Mary's ruff and farthingale; not the falling ruff with which the unfortunate Mary of Scotland is usually painted, but that which, with more than Spanish stiffness, surrounded the throat, and set off the morose head, of her fierce namesake, of Smithfield memory. This antiquated dress assorted well with the faded complexion, grey eyes, thin lips, and austere visage of the antiquated maiden, which was, moreover, enhanced by a black hood, worn as her head-gear, carefully disposed so as to prevent any of her hair from escaping to view, probably because the simplicity of the period knew no art of disguising the colour with which time had begun to grizzle her tresses. Her figure was tall, thin, and flat, with skinny arms and hands, and feet of the larger size, cased in huge high-heeled shoes, which added height to a stature already ungainly. Apparently some art had been used by the tailor, to conceal a slight defect of shape, occasioned by the accidental elevation of one shoulder above the other; but the praiseworthy efforts of the ingenious mechanic, had only succeeded in calling the attention of the observer to his benevolent purpose, without demonstrating that he had been able to achieve it.

Her lodger had, in the meantime, the chance to think about her appearance, which didn’t improve the impression he had gotten of it by candlelight the night before. She was wearing what was known as a Queen Mary’s ruff and farthingale; not the falling ruff typically associated with the unfortunate Mary of Scotland, but one that, with more than a touch of Spanish stiffness, framed her throat and highlighted the grim expression of her fierce namesake, who was infamous from Smithfield. This outdated outfit matched well with the faded complexion, grey eyes, thin lips, and serious expression of the elderly woman, which was further emphasized by a black hood worn neatly to keep any stray hair from showing, probably because the simplicity of the era lacked ways to hide the gray hairs that time had started to bring. Her figure was tall, thin, and flat, with bony arms and hands, and larger feet in massive high-heeled shoes that added height to an already awkward stature. It seemed the tailor had tried to disguise a slight mismatch in her shape caused by one shoulder being higher than the other; however, the tailor's good intentions only drew more attention to his well-meaning effort without proving he had succeeded.

Such was Mrs. Martha Trapbois, whose dry “What were you seeking here, sir?” fell again, and with reiterated sharpness, on the ear of Nigel, as he gazed upon her presence, and compared it internally to one of the faded and grim figures in the old tapestry which adorned his bedstead. It was, however, necessary to reply, and he answered, that he came in search of the servants, as he desired to have a fire kindled in his apartment on account of the rawness of the morning.

Such was Mrs. Martha Trapbois, whose dry "What are you doing here, sir?" echoed again, and with piercing sharpness, in Nigel's ears as he stared at her and internally compared her to one of the faded and grim figures in the old tapestry that decorated his bed. However, he needed to respond, so he said that he was looking for the servants because he wanted them to start a fire in his room due to the chill of the morning.

“The woman who does our char-work,” answered Mistress Martha, “comes at eight o'clock-if you want fire sooner, there are fagots and a bucket of sea-coal in the stone-closet at the head of the stair—and there is a flint and steel on the upper shelf—you can light fire for yourself if you will.”

“The woman who does our chores,” replied Mistress Martha, “comes at eight o'clock. If you need a fire earlier, there are bundles of sticks and a bucket of coal in the stone closet at the top of the stairs—and there’s flint and steel on the upper shelf—you can start the fire yourself if you want.”

“No—no—no, Martha,” ejaculated her father, who, having donned his rustic tunic, with his hose all ungirt, and his feet slip-shod, hastily came out of the inner apartment, with his mind probably full of robbers, for he had a naked rapier in his hand, which still looked formidable, though rust had somewhat marred its shine.—What he had heard at entrance about lighting a fire, had changed, however, the current of his ideas. “No—no—no,” he cried, and each negative was more emphatic than its predecessor-“The gentleman shall not have the trouble to put on a fire—ugh—ugh. I'll put it on myself, for a con-si-de-ra-ti-on.”

“No—no—no, Martha,” exclaimed her father, who, having put on his simple tunic, with his pants loosely tied and his feet in worn shoes, quickly came out of the inner room, likely thinking about robbers, since he was holding a bare sword that still looked intimidating, even though rust had dulled its shine. What he had heard about starting a fire had changed his train of thought. “No—no—no,” he shouted, and each denial was more forceful than the last—“The gentleman won’t have the trouble of starting a fire—ugh—ugh. I’ll do it myself, for a con-si-de-ra-ti-on.”

This last word was a favourite expression with the old gentleman, which he pronounced in a peculiar manner, gasping it out syllable by syllable, and laying a strong emphasis upon the last. It was, indeed, a sort of protecting clause, by which he guarded himself against all inconveniences attendant on the rash habit of offering service or civility of any kind, the which, when hastily snapped at by those to whom they are uttered, give the profferer sometimes room to repent his promptitude.

This last word was a favorite phrase of the old gentleman, which he said in a unique way, gasping it out syllable by syllable and putting extra emphasis on the last one. It was, in fact, a kind of safety net he used to protect himself from any issues that might come from the hasty habit of offering help or kindness. When these gestures are quickly accepted by those they’re directed towards, they sometimes leave the person offering them regretting their eagerness.

“For shame, father,” said Martha, “that must not be. Master Grahame will kindle his own fire, or wait till the char-woman comes to do it for him, just as likes him best.”

“For shame, Dad,” said Martha, “that can’t happen. Master Grahame will light his own fire, or wait until the cleaning lady comes to do it for him, whichever he prefers.”

“No, child—no, child. Child Martha, no,” reiterated the old miser—“no char-woman shall ever touch a grate in my house; they put—ugh, ugh—the faggot uppermost, and so the coal kindles not, and the flame goes up the chimney, and wood and heat are both thrown away. Now, I will lay it properly for the gentleman, for a consideration, so that it shall last—ugh, ugh—last the whole day.” Here his vehemence increased his cough so violently, that Nigel could only, from a scattered word here and there, comprehend that it was a recommendation to his daughter to remove the poker and tongs from the stranger's fireside, with an assurance, that, when necessary, his landlord would be in attendance to adjust it himself, “for a consideration.”

“No, child—no, child. Child Martha, no,” the old miser insisted. “No cleaner will ever touch a grate in my house; they always put—ugh, ugh—the kindling on top, and then the coal doesn’t catch, and the flames go up the chimney, which wastes both wood and heat. Now, I will set it up properly for the gentleman, for a fee, so that it will last—ugh, ugh—last the whole day.” His intensity made him cough so violently that Nigel could only catch a few scattered words, understanding that he was recommending his daughter remove the poker and tongs from the stranger's fireplace, assuring her that when needed, his landlord would come to adjust it himself, “for a fee.”

Martha paid as little attention to the old man's injunctions as a predominant dame gives to those of a henpecked husband. She only repeated, in a deeper and more emphatic tone of censure,—“For shame, father—for shame!” then, turning to her guest, said, with her usual ungraciousness of manner—“Master Grahame—it is best to be plain with you at first. My father is an old, a very old man, and his wits, as you may see, are somewhat weakened—though I would not advise you to make a bargain with him, else you may find them too sharp for your own. For myself, I am a lone woman, and, to say truth, care little to see or converse with any one. If you can be satisfied with house-room, shelter, and safety, it will be your own fault if you have them not, and they are not always to be found in this unhappy quarter. But, if you seek deferential observance and attendance, I tell you at once you will not find them here.”

Martha paid as little attention to the old man's warnings as a strong woman does to a henpecked husband. She just repeated, in a deeper and more serious tone of disapproval, “For shame, father—for shame!” Then, turning to her guest, she said, with her usual lack of grace, “Master Grahame—it’s best to be straightforward with you from the start. My father is an old, very old man, and as you can see, his mind is somewhat weakened—though I wouldn’t recommend trying to strike a deal with him, or you might find his wits sharper than you expect. As for me, I’m a solitary woman and to be honest, I care little about seeing or talking to anyone. If you can be content with a roof over your head, some shelter, and safety, it will be your own fault if you miss out on them, as they aren’t always easy to come by in this unfortunate area. But if you’re looking for respectful service and attention, I’ll tell you right now, you won’t find that here.”

“I am not wont either to thrust myself upon acquaintance, madam, or to give trouble,” said the guest; “nevertheless, I shall need the assistance of a domestic to assist me to dress—Perhaps you can recommend me to such?”

“I don't usually impose on others, ma'am, or cause any fuss,” said the guest; “but I will need help from a servant to get dressed—Could you recommend someone?”

“Yes, to twenty,” answered Mistress Martha, “who will pick your purse while they tie your points, and cut your throat while they smooth your pillow.”

“Yes, to twenty,” answered Mistress Martha, “who will take your money while they tie your ribbons, and stab you while they fluff your pillow.”

“I will be his servant, myself,” said the old man, whose intellect, for a moment distanced, had again, in some measure, got up with the conversation. “I will brush his cloak—ugh, ugh—and tie his points—ugh, ugh—and clean his shoes—ugh—and run on his errands with speed and safety—ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh—for a consideration.”

“I’ll be his servant myself,” said the old man, whose mind, for a moment distracted, had once again caught up with the conversation. “I’ll brush his cloak—ugh, ugh—and tie his points—ugh, ugh—and clean his shoes—ugh—and run his errands quickly and safely—ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh—for a payment.”

“Good-morrow to you, sir,” said Martha, to Nigel, in a tone of direct and positive dismissal. “It cannot be agreeable to a daughter that a stranger should hear her father speak thus. If you be really a gentleman, you will retire to your own apartment.”

“Good morning to you, sir,” said Martha to Nigel, in a tone of clear and firm dismissal. “It can't be pleasant for a daughter to have a stranger hear her father speak like that. If you’re truly a gentleman, you will go back to your own room.”

“I will not delay a moment,” said Nigel, respectfully, for he was sensible that circumstances palliated the woman's rudeness. “I would but ask you, if seriously there can be danger in procuring the assistance of a serving-man in this place?”

“I won’t take up any more time,” said Nigel, respectfully, understanding that the situation softened the woman's rudeness. “I just want to ask you, is there really any danger in getting help from a servant in this place?”

“Young gentleman,” said Martha, “you must know little of Whitefriars to ask the question. We live alone in this house, and seldom has a stranger entered it; nor should you, to be plain, had my will been consulted. Look at the door—see if that of a castle can be better secured; the windows of the first floor are grated on the outside, and within, look to these shutters.”

“Young man,” Martha said, “you clearly don’t know much about Whitefriars to ask that question. We live alone in this house, and hardly anyone ever comes in; honestly, you wouldn’t be here if I had my way. Look at the door—can a castle's be locked up better? The first-floor windows are barred on the outside, and inside, check out these shutters.”

She pulled one of them aside, and showed a ponderous apparatus of bolts and chains for securing the window-shutters, while her father, pressing to her side, seized her gown with a trembling hand, and said, in a low whisper, “Show not the trick of locking and undoing them. Show him not the trick on't, Martha—ugh, ugh—on no consideration.” Martha went on, without paying him any attention.

She pulled one of them aside and showed a heavy setup of bolts and chains for securing the window shutters, while her father, pressing close to her, grabbed her dress with a shaking hand and said in a low whisper, “Don't show him how to lock and unlock them. Don’t show him how, Martha—ugh, ugh—on no account.” Martha continued without paying any attention to him.

“And yet, young gentleman, we have been more than once like to find all these defences too weak to protect our lives; such an evil effect on the wicked generation around us hath been made by the unhappy report of my poor father's wealth.”

“And yet, young man, we have often found these defenses too weak to protect our lives; the unfortunate rumor of my poor father's wealth has had such a negative impact on the wicked generation around us.”

“Say nothing of that, housewife,” said the miser, his irritability increased by the very supposition of his being wealthy—“Say nothing of that, or I will beat thee, housewife—beat thee with my staff, for fetching and carrying lies that will procure our throats to be cut at last—ugh, ugh.—I am but a poor man,” he continued, turning to Nigel—“a very poor man, that am willing to do any honest turn upon earth, for a modest consideration.”

“Don’t mention that, housewife,” said the miser, becoming more irritable just at the thought of being seen as wealthy. “Don’t bring it up, or I’ll hit you, housewife—hit you with my stick, for spreading lies that could ultimately lead to our ruin—ugh, ugh. I’m just a poor man,” he continued, addressing Nigel, “a very poor man, willing to do any honest job in the world for a reasonable fee.”

“I therefore warn you of the life you must lead, young gentleman,” said Martha; “the poor woman who does the char-work will assist you so far as in her power, but the wise man is his own best servant and assistant.”

“I want to give you a heads-up about the life you’ll need to live, young man,” said Martha; “the poor woman who does the cleaning will help you as much as she can, but a smart person is their own best servant and support.”

“It is a lesson you have taught me, madam, and I thank you for it—I will assuredly study it at leisure.”

“It’s a lesson you’ve taught me, ma’am, and I really appreciate it—I will definitely take my time to study it.”

“You will do well,” said Martha; “and as you seem thankful for advice, I, though I am no professed counsellor of others, will give you more. Make no intimacy with any one in Whitefriars—borrow no money, on any score, especially from my father, for, dotard as he seems, he will make an ass of you. Last, and best of all, stay here not an instant longer than you can help it. Farewell, sir.”

“You’ll be just fine,” Martha said. “Since you’re open to advice, I, although I’m not really someone who gives advice to others, will offer you more. Don’t get too close to anyone in Whitefriars—don’t borrow money for any reason, especially from my father, because even though he seems old and foolish, he will take advantage of you. Lastly, and most importantly, don’t stay here a second longer than necessary. Goodbye, sir.”

“A gnarled tree may bear good fruit, and a harsh nature may give good counsel,” thought the Lord of Glenvarloch, as he retreated to his own apartment, where the same reflection occurred to him again and again, while, unable as yet to reconcile himself to the thoughts of becoming his own fire-maker, he walked up and down his bedroom, to warm himself by exercise.

“A twisted tree can produce good fruit, and a tough personality can offer wise advice,” thought the Lord of Glenvarloch, as he went back to his room, where the same reflection replayed in his mind over and over. Still unable to come to terms with the idea of making his own fire, he paced back and forth in his bedroom to warm himself through movement.

At length his meditations arranged themselves in the following soliloquy—by which expression I beg leave to observe once for all, that I do not mean that Nigel literally said aloud with his bodily organs, the words which follow in inverted commas, (while pacing the room by himself,) but that I myself choose to present to my dearest reader the picture of my hero's mind, his reflections and resolutions, in the form of a speech, rather than in that of a narrative. In other words, I have put his thoughts into language; and this I conceive to be the purpose of the soliloquy upon the stage as well as in the closet, being at once the most natural, and perhaps the only way of communicating to the spectator what is supposed to be passing in the bosom of the scenic personage. There are no such soliloquies in nature, it is true, but unless they were received as a conventional medium of communication betwixt the poet and the audience, we should reduce dramatic authors to the recipe of Master Puff, who makes Lord Burleigh intimate a long train of political reasoning to the audience, by one comprehensive shake of his noddle. In narrative, no doubt, the writer has the alternative of telling that his personages thought so and so, inferred thus and thus, and arrived at such and such a conclusion; but the soliloquy is a more concise and spirited mode of communicating the same information; and therefore thus communed, or thus might have communed, the Lord of Glenvarloch with his own mind.

Eventually, his thoughts formed into the following monologue—by which I want to clarify, once and for all, that I don’t mean that Nigel literally spoke the words that follow in quotation marks (while walking alone in the room), but that I choose to present my hero's inner thoughts, reflections, and decisions in the form of speech rather than as a narrative. In other words, I’ve put his thoughts into words, and I believe this serves the purpose of a soliloquy on stage just as well as in private, being both the most natural and perhaps the only way to share with the audience what’s going on inside the character’s mind. It’s true that there aren’t such soliloquies in real life, but if they weren't accepted as a standard way to communicate between the poet and the audience, we would reduce playwrights to the level of Master Puff, who has Lord Burleigh express an extensive political reasoning to the audience with a single nod of his head. In a narrative, the writer can definitely tell that a character thought this way, inferred that, and came to this conclusion; but the soliloquy is a more straightforward and lively way to communicate the same information. Therefore, this is how the Lord of Glenvarloch might have spoken to himself.

“She is right, and has taught me a lesson I will profit by. I have been, through my whole life, one who leant upon others for that assistance, which it is more truly noble to derive from my own exertions. I am ashamed of feeling the paltry inconvenience which long habit had led me to annex to the want of a servant's assistance—I am ashamed of that; but far, far more am I ashamed to have suffered the same habit of throwing my own burden on others, to render me, since I came to this city, a mere victim of those events, which I have never even attempted to influence—a thing never acting, but perpetually acted upon—protected by one friend, deceived by another; but in the advantage which I received from the one, and the evil I have sustained from the other, as passive and helpless as a boat that drifts without oar or rudder at the mercy of the winds and waves. I became a courtier, because Heriot so advised it—a gamester, because Dalgarno so contrived it—an Alsatian, because Lowestoffe so willed it. Whatever of good or bad has befallen me, has arisen out of the agency of others, not from my own. My father's son must no longer hold this facile and puerile course. Live or die, sink or swim, Nigel Olifaunt, from this moment, shall owe his safety, success, and honour, to his own exertions, or shall fall with the credit of having at least exerted his own free agency. I will write it down in my tablets, in her very words,—'The wise man is his own best assistant.'”

“She is right, and has taught me a lesson that I will benefit from. I have relied on others for help throughout my life when it would be more admirable to rely on my own efforts. I feel embarrassed about the silly inconvenience that my long-held habits have made me associate with not having a servant’s help—I’m ashamed of that; but even more, I’m ashamed to have let this same habit of shifting my burdens onto others turn me, since I arrived in this city, into a mere victim of circumstances I’ve never even tried to influence—someone who never acts but is constantly acted upon—protected by one friend, deceived by another; and in the benefits I received from one and the harm I suffered from the other, as passive and helpless as a boat drifting without oars or a rudder, at the mercy of the winds and waves. I became a courtier because Heriot advised it—a gambler because Dalgarno set it up that way—an Alsatian because Lowestoffe wanted it. Whatever good or bad has come my way has been due to the actions of others, not from my own. My father's son can no longer follow this easy and childish path. Live or die, sink or swim, from this moment on, Nigel Olifaunt will owe his safety, success, and honor to his own efforts, or he will fall with the credit of at least having tried to use his own free will. I will write it down in my notes, in her exact words—'The wise man is his own best assistant.'”

He had just put his tablets in his pocket when the old charwoman, who, to add to her efficiency, was sadly crippled by rheumatism, hobbled into the room, to try if she could gain a small gratification by waiting on the stranger. She readily undertook to get Lord Glenvarloch's breakfast, and as there was an eating-house at the next door, she succeeded in a shorter time than Nigel had augured.

He had just put his tablets in his pocket when the old cleaning lady, who was unfortunately burdened by rheumatism, hobbled into the room, hoping to earn a little extra by helping the stranger. She quickly agreed to prepare Lord Glenvarloch's breakfast, and since there was a diner next door, she was able to get it done faster than Nigel had expected.

As his solitary meal was finished, one of the Temple porters, or inferior officers, was announced, as seeking Master Grahame, on the part of his friend, Master Lowestoffe; and, being admitted by the old woman to his apartment, he delivered to Nigel a small mail-trunk, with the clothes he had desired should be sent to him, and then, with more mystery, put into his hand a casket, or strong-boy, which he carefully concealed beneath his cloak. “I am glad to be rid on't,” said the fellow, as he placed it on the table.

As he finished his lonely meal, one of the Temple porters, or lower-ranking officers, was announced as looking for Master Grahame on behalf of his friend, Master Lowestoffe. After being let into the room by the old woman, he handed Nigel a small trunk filled with the clothes he had asked to be sent to him. Then, with an air of secrecy, he placed a box, or strongbox, in Nigel's hand, which he carefully hid under his cloak. “I’m glad to be rid of it,” the guy said as he set it on the table.

“Why, it is surely not so very heavy,” answered Nigel, “and you are a stout young man.”

“Come on, it's definitely not that heavy,” replied Nigel, “and you're a strong young guy.”

“Ay, sir,” replied the fellow; “but Samson himself would not have carried such a matter safely through Alsatia, had the lads of the Huff known what it was. Please to look into it, sir, and see all is right—I am an honest fellow, and it comes safe out of my hands. How long it may remain so afterwards, will depend on your own care. I would not my good name were to suffer by any after-clap.”

“Yeah, sir,” the guy replied; “but even Samson wouldn't have made it through Alsatia safely if the lads from the Huff knew what it was. Please check into it, sir, and make sure everything is right—I’m an honest guy, and it’s safe in my hands. How long it stays that way depends on how you take care of it. I wouldn’t want my good name to suffer because of any trouble later on.”

To satisfy the scruples of the messenger, Lord Glenvarloch opened the casket in his presence, and saw that his small stock of money, with two or three valuable papers which it contained, and particularly the original sign-manual which the king had granted in his favour, were in the same order in which he had left them. At the man's further instance, he availed himself of the writing materials which were in the casket, in order to send a line to Master Lowestoffe, declaring that his property had reached him in safety. He added some grateful acknowledgments for Lowestoffe's services, and, just as he was sealing and delivering his billet to the messenger, his aged landlord entered the apartment. His threadbare suit of black clothes was now somewhat better arranged than they had been in the dishabille of his first appearance, and his nerves and intellects seemed to be less fluttered; for, without much coughing or hesitation, he invited Nigel to partake of a morning draught of wholesome single ale, which he brought in a large leathern tankard, or black-jack, carried in the one hand, while the other stirred it round with a sprig of rosemary, to give it, as the old man said, a flavour.

To ease the messenger's concerns, Lord Glenvarloch opened the casket in front of him and saw that his small amount of money, along with a few important papers inside—especially the original sign-manual that the king had given him—were just as he had left them. At the messenger's request, he used the writing materials in the casket to send a note to Master Lowestoffe, informing him that his belongings had arrived safely. He included some heartfelt thanks for Lowestoffe's help, and just as he was sealing and handing over the note to the messenger, his elderly landlord walked into the room. His worn black clothes were now a bit better arranged than when he first appeared in disarray, and he seemed less agitated; without much coughing or hesitation, he invited Nigel to enjoy a morning drink of wholesome single ale, which he brought in a large leather tankard, or black-jack, held in one hand, while the other stirred it with a sprig of rosemary to add flavor, as the old man said.

Nigel declined the courteous proffer, and intimated by his manner, while he did so, that he desired no intrusion on the privacy of his own apartment; which, indeed, he was the more entitled to maintain, considering the cold reception he had that morning met with when straying from its precincts into those of his landlord. But the open casket contained matter, or rather metal, so attractive to old Trapbois, that he remained fixed, like a setting-dog at a dead point, his nose advanced, and one hand expanded like the lifted forepaw, by which that sagacious quadruped sometimes indicates that it is a hare which he has in the wind. Nigel was about to break the charm which had thus arrested old Trapbois, by shutting the lid of the casket, when his attention was withdrawn from him by the question of the messenger, who, holding out the letter, asked whether he was to leave it at Mr. Lowestoffe's chambers in the Temple, or carry it to the Marshalsea?

Nigel turned down the polite offer and indicated with his demeanor that he wanted to keep the privacy of his apartment intact; he was especially justified in this wish given the cold reception he had received that morning when he had wandered into his landlord's area. However, the open casket held something—rather, metal—that was so appealing to old Trapbois that he remained still, like a hunting dog on point, his nose forward, and one hand stretched out like a dog's lifted paw signaling the scent of a hare. Just as Nigel was about to break the spell that had captivated old Trapbois by closing the casket, the messenger interrupted him with a question, holding out a letter and asking whether it should be left at Mr. Lowestoffe's chambers in the Temple or taken to the Marshalsea.

“The Marshalsea?” repeated Lord Glenvarloch; “what of the Marshalsea?”

“The Marshalsea?” Lord Glenvarloch repeated. “What about the Marshalsea?”

“Why, sir,” said the man, “the poor gentleman is laid up there in lavender, because, they say, his own kind heart led him to scald his fingers with another man's broth.”

“Why, sir,” said the man, “the poor guy is stuck up there in bed, because, they say, his own kind heart made him scorch his fingers with someone else's soup.”

Nigel hastily snatched back the letter, broke the seal, joined to the contents his earnest entreaty that he might be instantly acquainted with the cause of his confinement, and added, that, if it arose out of his own unhappy affair, it would be of a brief duration, since he had, even before hearing of a reason which so peremptorily demanded that he should surrender himself, adopted the resolution to do so, as the manliest and most proper course which his ill fortune and imprudence had left in his own power. He therefore conjured Mr. Lowestoffe to have no delicacy upon this score, but, since his surrender was what he had determined upon as a sacrifice due to his own character, that he would have the frankness to mention in what manner it could be best arranged, so as to extricate him, Lowestoffe, from the restraint to which the writer could not but fear his friend had been subjected, on account of the generous interest which he had taken in his concerns. The letter concluded, that the writer would suffer twenty-four hours to elapse in expectation of hearing from him, and, at the end of that period, was determined to put his purpose in execution. He delivered the billet to the messenger, and, enforcing his request with a piece of money, urged him, without a moment's delay, to convey it to the hands of Master Lowestoffe.

Nigel quickly grabbed the letter back, broke the seal, and included with it his sincere plea to be informed immediately about the reason for his confinement. He added that if it was due to his own unfortunate situation, it wouldn't last long, as he had already decided, even before learning of a reason that required him to turn himself in, that doing so was the most honorable and proper course of action left to him by his bad luck and poor choices. He urged Mr. Lowestoffe to not be hesitant about this matter, but instead, since his surrender was something he had resolved on as a duty to his own character, to be straightforward about how it could be arranged to get him out of the situation he feared his friend might be in, due to the generous concern Lowestoffe had shown for him. The letter ended by stating that he would wait twenty-four hours for a response, and after that period, he was determined to go through with his plan. He handed the note to the messenger, and, sweetening the request with some money, pressed him to deliver it to Master Lowestoffe without any delay.

“I—I—I—will carry it to him myself,” said the old usurer, “for half the consideration.”

“I—I—I—will take it to him myself,” said the old moneylender, “for half the payment.”

The man who heard this attempt to take his duty and perquisites over his head, lost no time in pocketing the money, and departed on his errand as fast as he could.

The man who heard this try to take his responsibilities and benefits without his consent, wasted no time grabbing the money and left for his task as quickly as he could.

“Master Trapbois,” said Nigel, addressing the old man somewhat impatiently, “had you any particular commands for me?”

“Master Trapbois,” Nigel said, addressing the old man with a hint of impatience, “do you have any specific instructions for me?”

“I—I—came to see if you rested well,” answered the old man; “and—if I could do anything to serve you, on any consideration.”

“I—I—came to check if you slept well,” replied the old man; “and—if there’s anything I can do to help you, for any reason.”

“Sir, I thank you,” said Lord Glenvarloch—“I thank you;” and, ere he could say more, a heavy footstep was heard on the stair.

“Sir, I appreciate it,” said Lord Glenvarloch—“I appreciate it;” and before he could say anything else, a loud footsteps echoed on the stairs.

“My God!” exclaimed the old man, starting up—“Why, Dorothy—char-woman—why, daughter,—draw bolt, I say, housewives—the door hath been left a-latch!”

“My God!” exclaimed the old man, jumping up. “Why, Dorothy—cleaning lady—why, daughter—unlock the door, I say, housewives—the door has been left unlatched!”

The door of the chamber opened wide, and in strutted the portly bulk of the military hero whom Nigel had on the preceding evening in vain endeavoured to recognise.

The door of the room swung open, and in walked the hefty figure of the military hero whom Nigel had tried in vain to recognize the night before.










CHAPTER XXIII

SWASH-BUCKLER. Bilboe's the word—PIERROT. It hath been spoke too often, The spell hath lost its charm—I tell thee, friend, The meanest cur that trots the street, will turn, And snarl against your proffer'd bastinado. SWASH-BUCKLER. 'Tis art shall do it, then—I will dose the mongrels—Or, in plain terms, I'll use the private knife 'Stead of the brandish'd falchion. Old Play.

SWASH-BUCKLER. Bilboe's the word—PIERROT. It's been said too many times, the magic has worn off—I’m telling you, friend, even the lowliest mutt in the street will turn and growl at your offered beating. SWASH-BUCKLER. Then it's skill that will do it—I’ll take care of the curs—Or, to put it simply, I’ll use a hidden knife instead of an obvious sword. Old Play.

The noble Captain Colepepper or Peppercull, for he was known by both these names, and some others besides; had a martial and a swashing exterior, which, on the present occasion, was rendered yet more peculiar, by a patch covering his left eye and a part of the cheek. The sleeves of his thickset velvet jerkin were polished and shone with grease,—his buff gloves had huge tops, which reached almost to the elbow; his sword-belt of the same materials extended its breadth from his haunchbone to his small ribs, and supported on the one side his large black-hilted back-sword, on the other a dagger of like proportions He paid his compliments to Nigel with that air of predetermined effrontery, which announces that it will not be repelled by any coldness of reception, asked Trapbois how he did, by the familiar title of old Peter Pillory, and then, seizing upon the black-jack, emptied it off at a draught, to the health of the last and youngest freeman of Alsatia, the noble and loving master Nigel Grahame.

The noble Captain Colepepper, or Peppercull, as he was known by both names and a few others, had a bold and flashy appearance that was made even more striking by a patch covering his left eye and part of his cheek. The sleeves of his sturdy velvet jacket were polished and gleamed with grease—his heavy gloves reached almost to his elbows; his sword belt, made of similar material, stretched from his hip to his lower ribs and held a large black-hilted sword on one side and a similarly sized dagger on the other. He greeted Nigel with a self-assured bravado that suggested he wouldn’t be put off by any cold response, addressed Trapbois as "old Peter Pillory," and then grabbed the black-jack and downed its contents in one go, toasting to the last and youngest freeman of Alsatia, the noble and beloved master Nigel Grahame.

When he had set down the empty pitcher and drawn his breath, he began to criticise the liquor which it had lately contained.—“Sufficient single beer, old Pillory—and, as I take it, brewed at the rate of a nutshell of malt to a butt of Thames—as dead as a corpse, too, and yet it went hissing down my throat—bubbling, by Jove, like water upon hot iron.—You left us early, noble Master Grahame, but, good faith, we had a carouse to your honour—we heard butt ring hollow ere we parted; we were as loving as inkle-weavers—we fought, too, to finish off the gawdy. I bear some marks of the parson about me, you see—a note of the sermon or so, which should have been addressed to my ear, but missed its mark, and reached my left eye. The man of God bears my sign-manual too, but the Duke made us friends again, and it cost me more sack than I could carry, and all the Rhenish to boot, to pledge the seer in the way of love and reconciliation—But, Caracco! 'tis a vile old canting slave for all that, whom I will one day beat out of his devil's livery into all the colours of the rainbow.—Basta!—Said I well, old Trapbois? Where is thy daughter, man?—what says she to my suit?—'tis an honest one—wilt have a soldier for thy son-in-law, old Pillory, to mingle the soul of martial honour with thy thieving, miching, petty-larceny blood, as men put bold brandy into muddy ale?”

When he set down the empty pitcher and caught his breath, he started to criticize the drink it had just held. “Sufficient single beer, old Pillory—and, as I see it, brewed at the rate of a nutshell of malt to a barrel of Thames—dead as a corpse, yet it went down my throat hissing—bubbling, by Jove, like water on hot iron. You left us early, noble Master Grahame, but, honestly, we had a toast in your honor—we heard the barrel ring hollow before we parted; we were as friendly as shoelace makers—we even fought to finish off the celebration. I bear some marks of the preacher on me, you see—a note of the sermon or so, which should have been directed at my ear but missed its target and hit my left eye instead. The man of God has my signature too, but the Duke made us friends again, and it cost me more sack than I could carry, and all the Rhenish on top of that, to toast the seer in the spirit of love and reconciliation—But, goodness! he’s a vile old hypocrite for all that, whom I will one day beat out of his devil’s uniform into all the colors of the rainbow.—Enough!—Did I say it well, old Trapbois? Where is your daughter, man?—what does she say about my proposal?—it’s an honest one—will you have a soldier for your son-in-law, old Pillory, to blend the spirit of martial honor with your thieving, sneaking, petty-larceny blood, like men mix strong brandy into muddy ale?”

“My daughter receives not company so early, noble captain,” said the usurer, and concluded his speech with a dry, emphatical “ugh, ugh.”

“My daughter doesn't entertain guests so early, noble captain,” said the usurer, finishing his statement with a dry, emphatic “ugh, ugh.”

“What, upon no con-si-de-ra-ti-on?” said the captain; “and wherefore not, old Truepenny? she has not much time to lose in driving her bargain, methinks.”

“What, without any consideration?” said the captain; “and why not, old Truepenny? she doesn’t have much time to waste in making her deal, I think.”

“Captain,” said Trapbois, “I was upon some little business with our noble friend here, Master Nigel Green—ugh, ugh, ugh—”

“Captain,” said Trapbois, “I was dealing with our esteemed friend here, Master Nigel Green—ugh, ugh, ugh—”

“And you would have me gone, I warrant you?” answered the bully; “but patience, old Pillory, thine hour is not yet come, man—You see,” he said, pointing to the casket, “that noble Master Grahame, whom you call Green, has got the decuses and the smelt.”

“And you want me out of here, huh?” replied the bully. “But hold on, old Pillory, your time hasn’t come yet. You see,” he said, pointing to the casket, “that noble Master Grahame, whom you call Green, has got the decuses and the smelt.”

“Which you would willingly rid him of, ha! ha!—ugh, ugh,” answered the usurer, “if you knew how—but, lack-a-day! thou art one of those that come out for wool, and art sure to go home shorn. Why now, but that I am sworn against laying of wagers, I would risk some consideration that this honest guest of mine sends thee home penniless, if thou darest venture with him—ugh, ugh—at any game which gentlemen play at.”

“Which you would gladly get rid of, ha! ha!—ugh, ugh,” answered the usurer, “if you knew how—but, unfortunately! you’re one of those who come out to gain something, only to leave with nothing. If I weren’t sworn against making bets, I would be willing to bet that this honest guest of mine sends you home broke if you dare to play with him—ugh, ugh—at any game that gentlemen play.”

“Marry, thou hast me on the hip there, thou old miserly cony-catcher!” answered the captain, taking a bale of dice from the sleeve of his coat; “I must always keep company with these damnable doctors, and they have made me every baby's cully, and purged my purse into an atrophy; but never mind, it passes the time as well as aught else—How say you, Master Grahame?”

“Wow, you’ve really caught me there, you old stingy trickster!” replied the captain, pulling a pack of dice from his coat sleeve. “I always have to hang out with these miserable doctors, and they’ve turned me into every fool's joke and drained my wallet dry; but it doesn’t matter, it keeps me occupied just like anything else—What do you think, Master Grahame?”

The fellow paused; but even the extremity of his impudence could scarcely hardly withstand the cold look of utter contempt with which Nigel received his proposal, returning it with a simple, “I only play where I know my company, and never in the morning.”

The guy paused; but even the height of his boldness could barely handle the icy glare of complete disdain with which Nigel responded to his suggestion, simply saying, “I only play where I know the people I'm with, and never in the morning.”

“Cards may be more agreeable,” said Captain Colepepper; “and, for knowing your company, here is honest old Pillory will tell you Jack Colepepper plays as truly on the square as e'er a man that trowled a die—Men talk of high and low dice, Fulhams and bristles, topping, knapping, slurring, stabbing, and a hundred ways of rooking besides; but broil me like a rasher of bacon, if I could ever learn the trick on 'em!”

“Cards might be more fun,” said Captain Colepepper. “And, to know your company, here’s honest old Pillory who will tell you Jack Colepepper plays as straight as any guy who ever rolled a die—People talk about high and low dice, Fulhams and bristles, topping, knapping, slurring, stabbing, and a hundred other ways to cheat besides; but seriously, if I could ever figure out how to do them!”

“You have got the vocabulary perfect, sir, at the least,” said Nigel, in the same cold tone.

“You've got the vocabulary spot on, sir, at the very least,” said Nigel, in the same cold tone.

“Yes, by mine honour have I,” returned the Hector; “they are phrases that a gentleman learns about town.—But perhaps you would like a set at tennis, or a game at balloon—we have an indifferent good court hard by here, and a set of as gentleman-like blades as ever banged leather against brick and mortar.”

“Yes, I certainly have,” answered Hector; “they're phrases that a gentleman picks up in the city. But maybe you’d prefer a game of tennis or a balloon match—we have a pretty decent court nearby, and a group of the most refined guys who ever hit leather against brick and mortar.”

“I beg to be excused at present,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “and to be plain, among the valuable privileges your society has conferred on me, I hope I may reckon that of being private in my own apartment when I have a mind.”

“I request to be excused for now,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “and to be honest, among the valuable privileges your society has given me, I hope I can count the ability to be alone in my own room when I want.”

“Your humble servant, sir,” said the captain; “and I thank you for your civility—Jack Colepepper can have enough of company, and thrusts himself on no one.—But perhaps you will like to make a match at skittles?”

“Your humble servant, sir,” said the captain; “and I appreciate your kindness—Jack Colepepper is fine with his own company and doesn't impose on anyone. —But maybe you’d like to challenge me to a game of skittles?”

“I am by no means that way disposed,” replied the young nobleman,

“I definitely don't feel that way,” replied the young nobleman,

“Or to leap a flea—run a snail—match a wherry, eh?”

“Or to jump over a flea—race a snail—compare to a small boat, huh?”

“No—I will do none of these,” answered Nigel.

“No—I'm not doing any of those,” replied Nigel.

Here the old man, who had been watching with his little peery eyes, pulled the bulky Hector by the skirt, and whispered, “Do not vapour him the huff, it will not pass—let the trout play, he will rise to the hook presently.”

Here, the old man, who had been watching with his little beady eyes, pulled the hefty Hector by the jacket and whispered, “Don’t give him too much pressure; it won’t work—let the fish play, and he’ll take the bait soon.”

But the bully, confiding in his own strength, and probably mistaking for timidity the patient scorn with which Nigel received his proposals, incited also by the open casket, began to assume a louder and more threatening tone. He drew himself up, bent his brows, assumed a look of professional ferocity, and continued, “In Alsatia, look ye, a man must be neighbourly and companionable. Zouns! sir, we would slit any nose that was turned up at us honest fellows.—Ay, sir, we would slit it up to the gristle, though it had smelt nothing all its life but musk, ambergris, and court-scented water.—Rabbit me, I am a soldier, and care no more for a lord than a lamplighter!”

But the bully, confident in his own strength and probably mistaking Nigel's patient scorn for fear, encouraged by the open casket, began to adopt a louder and more threatening tone. He straightened up, furrowed his brows, put on a fierce look, and continued, “In Alsatia, you see, a man has to be friendly and sociable. Damn it! We would slash any nose that looked down on us honest folks.—Yeah, we'd cut it down to the bone, even if it had only ever smelled musk, ambergris, and fancy perfume from the court.—I swear, I'm a soldier, and I don't care about a lord any more than I do about a lamplighter!”

“Are you seeking a quarrel, sir?” said Nigel, calmly, having in truth no desire to engage himself in a discreditable broil in such a place, and with such a character.

“Are you looking for a fight, sir?” said Nigel, calmly, truly having no desire to get involved in a disgraceful brawl in a place like this, and with someone like him.

“Quarrel, sir?” said the captain; “I am not seeking a quarrel, though I care not how soon I find one. Only I wish you to understand you must be neighbourly, that's all. What if we should go over the water to the garden, and see a bull hanked this fine morning—'sdeath, will you do nothing?”

“Fight, sir?” said the captain; “I’m not looking for a fight, but I don’t mind if one comes my way. I just want you to know you need to be neighborly, that’s all. What if we were to go across the water to the garden and see a bull tangled up this beautiful morning—damn it, will you do nothing?”

“Something I am strangely tempted to do at this moment,” said Nigel.

“There's something I feel really drawn to do right now,” said Nigel.

“Videlicet,” said Colepepper, with a swaggering air, “let us hear the temptation.”

“Obviously,” said Colepepper, with a confident attitude, “let’s hear the temptation.”

“I am tempted to throw you headlong from the window, unless you presently make the best of your way down stairs.”

“I feel like throwing you out the window unless you hurry up and go downstairs right now.”

“Throw me from the window?—hell and furies!” exclaimed the captain; “I have confronted twenty crooked sabres at Buda with my single rapier, and shall a chitty-faced, beggarly Scots lordling, speak of me and a window in the same breath?—Stand off, old Pillory, let me make Scotch collops of him—he dies the death!”

“Throw me out the window?—you’ve got to be kidding!” shouted the captain; “I’ve faced twenty crooked swords at Buda with just my rapier, and a sniveling, pathetic Scots lord is going to mention me and a window in the same sentence?—Get back, old Pillory, and let me turn him into minced meat—he’s done for!”

0794m
Original

“For the love of Heaven, gentlemen,” exclaimed the old miser, throwing himself between them, “do not break the peace on any consideration! Noble guest, forbear the captain—he is a very Hector of Troy—Trusty Hector, forbear my guest, he is like to prove a very Achilles-ugh-ugh——”

“For the love of heaven, guys,” shouted the old miser, jumping between them, “don’t ruin the peace no matter what! Noble guest, hold back from the captain—he's a total Hector of Troy—Trusty Hector, hold back from my guest, he’s likely to turn out to be a total Achilles—ugh—ugh—”

Here he was interrupted by his asthma, but, nevertheless, continued to interpose his person between Colepepper (who had unsheathed his whinyard, and was making vain passes at his antagonist) and Nigel, who had stepped back to take his sword, and now held it undrawn in his left hand.

Here he was interrupted by his asthma, but he still kept stepping in between Colepepper (who had drawn his sword and was making useless swings at his opponent) and Nigel, who had stepped back to grab his sword and was now holding it, unsheathed, in his left hand.

“Make an end of this foolery, you scoundrel!” said Nigel—“Do you come hither to vent your noisy oaths and your bottled-up valour on me? You seem to know me, and I am half ashamed to say I have at length been able to recollect you—remember the garden behind the ordinary,—you dastardly ruffian, and the speed with which fifty men saw you run from a drawn sword.—Get you gone, sir, and do not put me to the vile labour of cudgelling such a cowardly rascal down stairs.”

“Stop this nonsense, you scoundrel!” said Nigel. “Are you here to unleash your loud swearing and your pent-up bravery on me? You seem to know who I am, and I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I finally remember you—remember the garden behind the pub? You cowardly thug, and how quickly fifty men saw you run away from an unsheathed sword. Now leave, sir, and don’t make me waste my time dragging such a cowardly rascal downstairs.”

The bully's countenance grew dark as night at this unexpected recognition; for he had undoubtedly thought himself secure in his change of dress, and his black patch, from being discovered by a person who had seen him but once. He set his teeth, clenched his hands, and it seemed as if he was seeking for a moment's courage to fly upon his antagonist. But his heart failed, he sheathed his sword, turned his back in gloomy silence, and spoke not until he reached the door, when, turning round, he said, with a deep oath, “If I be not avenged of you for this insolence ere many days go by, I would the gallows had my body and the devil my spirit!”

The bully's expression darkened like night at this unexpected recognition; he had clearly thought he was safe in his new clothes and black patch, with only one person having seen him. He gritted his teeth, clenched his fists, and it seemed like he was trying to gather the courage to attack his opponent. But his courage failed him, he put away his sword, turned away in heavy silence, and didn’t say a word until he reached the door. Turning around, he said, with a harsh curse, “If I’m not able to get revenge on you for this disrespect in a few days, I wish the gallows had my body and the devil had my soul!”

So saying, and with a look where determined spite and malice made his features savagely fierce, though they could not overcome his fear, he turned and left the house. Nigel followed him as far as the gallery at the head of the staircase, with the purpose of seeing him depart, and ere he returned was met by Mistress Martha Trapbois, whom the noise of the quarrel had summoned from her own apartment. He could not resist saying to her in his natural displeasure—“I would, madam, you could teach your father and his friends the lesson which you had the goodness to bestow on me this morning, and prevail on them to leave me the unmolested privacy of my own apartment.”

So saying, with a look that showed determined spite and malice making his face fiercely aggressive, even though he was still afraid, he turned and left the house. Nigel followed him to the gallery at the top of the staircase, intending to see him go, and before he returned, he ran into Mistress Martha Trapbois, who had come out of her room because of the noise from the argument. He couldn’t help but say to her in his natural annoyance, “I wish, madam, that you could teach your father and his friends the lesson you were kind enough to give me this morning, and convince them to let me enjoy the privacy of my own room without being disturbed.”

“If you came hither for quiet or retirement, young man,” answered she, “you have been advised to an evil retreat. You might seek mercy in the Star-Chamber, or holiness in hell, with better success than quiet in Alsatia. But my father shall trouble you no longer.”

“If you came here for peace and quiet, young man,” she replied, “you’ve chosen a terrible place for it. You’d have better luck seeking mercy in the Star-Chamber or holiness in hell than finding tranquility in Alsatia. But my father won’t bother you anymore.”

So saying, she entered the apartment, and, fixing her eyes on the casket, she said with emphasis—“If you display such a loadstone, it will draw many a steel knife to your throat.”

So saying, she entered the apartment, and, fixing her eyes on the casket, she said with emphasis—“If you show off that kind of magnet, it will attract many a steel knife to your throat.”

While Nigel hastily shut the casket, she addressed her father, upbraiding him, with small reverence, for keeping company with the cowardly, hectoring, murdering villain, John Colepepper.

While Nigel quickly closed the casket, she confronted her father, scolding him, with little respect, for associating with the cowardly, bullying, murderous villain, John Colepepper.

“Ay, ay, child,” said the old man, with the cunning leer which intimated perfect satisfaction with his own superior address—“I know—I know—ugh—but I'll crossbite him—I know them all, and I can manage them—ay, ay—I have the trick on't—ugh-ugh.”

“Yeah, yeah, kid,” said the old man, with a sly grin that showed he was completely pleased with his own cleverness—“I get it—I get it—ugh—but I'll outsmart him—I know them all, and I can handle them—yeah, yeah—I have the skill for it—ugh-ugh.”

You manage, father!” said the austere damsel; “you will manage to have your throat cut, and that ere long. You cannot hide from them your gains and your gold as formerly.”

You manage, dad!” said the stern young woman; “you’ll end up having your throat cut, and that will be soon. You can’t hide your profits and your gold from them like you did before.”

“My gains, wench? my gold?” said the usurer; “alack-a-day, few of these and hard got—few and hard got.”

“My profits, girl? My money?” said the moneylender; “oh dear, not much of it and it was tough to get—few and hard to get.”

“This will not serve you, father, any longer,” said she, “and had not served you thus long, but that Bully Colepepper had contrived a cheaper way of plundering your house, even by means of my miserable self.—But why do I speak to him of all this,” she said, checking herself, and shrugging her shoulders with an expression of pity which did not fall much short of scorn. “He hears me not—he thinks not of me.—Is it not strange that the love of gathering gold should survive the care to preserve both property and life?”

“This won’t help you anymore, Dad,” she said, “and it hasn’t really helped you for a while, except that Bully Colepepper found a cheaper way to rob you, using my pathetic self. —But why am I telling him all this?” she said, stopping herself, and shrugging her shoulders with a look of pity that was almost scornful. “He doesn’t hear me—he doesn’t think about me. —Isn’t it strange that the desire to gather wealth can outlast the need to protect both property and life?”

“Your father,” said Lord Glenvarloch, who could not help respecting the strong sense and feeling shown by this poor woman, even amidst all her rudeness and severity, “your father seems to have his faculties sufficiently alert when he is in the exercise of his ordinary pursuits and functions. I wonder he is not sensible of the weight of your arguments.”

“Your father,” said Lord Glenvarloch, who couldn't help but respect the strong sense and emotion shown by this poor woman, even with all her rudeness and harshness, “your father seems to be pretty sharp when he’s going about his usual activities and responsibilities. I wonder why he isn’t aware of how valid your arguments are.”

“Nature made him a man senseless of danger, and that insensibility is the best thing I have derived from him,” said she; “age has left him shrewdness enough to tread his old beaten paths, but not to seek new courses. The old blind horse will long continue to go its rounds in the mill, when it would stumble in the open meadow.”

“Nature turned him into a man who doesn’t recognize danger, and that lack of awareness is the best thing I've gained from him,” she said; “age has given him just enough cleverness to stick to his usual routines, but he can't explore new paths. The old blind horse will keep plodding along in the mill even though it would trip in the open field.”

“Daughter!—why, wench—why, housewife!” said the old man, awakening out of some dream, in which he had been sneering and chuckling in imagination, probably over a successful piece of roguery,—“go to chamber, wench—go to chamber—draw bolts and chain—look sharp to door—let none in or out but worshipful Master Grahame—I must take my cloak, and go to Duke Hildebrod—ay, ay, time has been, my own warrant was enough; but the lower we lie, the more are we under the wind.”

“Daughter!—hey, girl—hey, housewife!” said the old man, waking up from some dream where he had been sneering and chuckling, probably over a clever trick he had pulled off. “Go to your room, girl—go to your room—lock the bolts and chain—keep an eye on the door—let no one in or out except for the honorable Master Grahame—I need to grab my cloak and go to Duke Hildebrod—yeah, there was a time when my word was enough; but the lower we get, the more we have to watch out.”

And, with his wonted chorus of muttering and coughing, the old man left the apartment. His daughter stood for a moment looking after him, with her usual expression of discontent and sorrow.

And, with his usual grumbling and coughing, the old man left the apartment. His daughter stood for a moment watching him go, wearing her typical look of frustration and sadness.

“You ought to persuade your father,” said Nigel, “to leave this evil neighbourhood, if you are in reality apprehensive for his safety.”

“You should convince your dad,” said Nigel, “to move away from this dangerous neighborhood if you really care about his safety.”

“He would be safe in no other quarter,” said the daughter; “I would rather the old man were dead than publicly dishonoured. In other quarters he would be pelted and pursued, like an owl which ventures into sunshine. Here he was safe, while his comrades could avail themselves of his talents; he is now squeezed and fleeced by them on every pretence. They consider him as a vessel on the strand, from which each may snatch a prey; and the very jealousy which they entertain respecting him as a common property, may perhaps induce them to guard him from more private and daring assaults.”

“He wouldn’t be safe anywhere else,” said the daughter; “I’d rather the old man were dead than publicly shamed. In other places, he would be attacked and chased, like an owl that dares to fly into the sunlight. Here he is safe, while his friends can benefit from his skills; now they’re exploiting him in every possible way. They see him as a ship stranded on the shore, from which anyone can grab a piece; and their jealousy over him as a shared resource might even make them protect him from more personal and bold attacks.”

“Still, methinks, you ought to leave this place,” answered Nigel, “since you might find a safe retreat in some distant country.”

“Still, I think you should leave this place,” answered Nigel, “since you might find a safe refuge in some faraway country.”

“In Scotland, doubtless,” said she, looking at him with a sharp and suspicious eye, “and enrich strangers with our rescued wealth—Ha! young man?”

“In Scotland, for sure,” she said, looking at him with a sharp and suspicious gaze, “and make strangers rich with our saved wealth—Ha! young man?”

“Madam, if you knew me,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you would spare the suspicion implied in your words.”

“Ma'am, if you really knew me,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you wouldn’t imply such suspicion with your words.”

“Who shall assure me of that?” said Martha, sharply. “They say you are a brawler and a gamester, and I know how far these are to be trusted by the unhappy.”

“Who’s going to guarantee that to me?” Martha replied sharply. “People say you’re a fighter and a gambler, and I know how reliable those claims are for the unfortunate.”

“They do me wrong, by Heaven!” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“They're doing me wrong, I swear!” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“It may be so,” said Martha; “I am little interested in the degree of your vice or your folly; but it is plain, that the one or the other has conducted you hither, and that your best hope of peace, safety, and happiness, is to be gone, with the least possible delay, from a place which is always a sty for swine, and often a shambles.” So saying, she left the apartment.

“It might be true,” said Martha; “I don’t really care about how bad your behavior or foolishness is; but it’s clear that one or the other has brought you here, and your best chance for peace, safety, and happiness is to leave this place as soon as possible. It’s always a pigsty and often a slaughterhouse.” With that, she left the room.

There was something in the ungracious manner of this female, amounting almost to contempt of him she spoke to—an indignity to which Glenvarloch, notwithstanding his poverty, had not as yet been personally exposed, and which, therefore, gave him a transitory feeling of painful surprise. Neither did the dark hints which Martha threw out concerning the danger of his place of refuge, sound by any means agreeably to his ears. The bravest man, placed in a situation in which he is surrounded by suspicious persons, and removed from all counsel and assistance, except those afforded by a valiant heart and a strong arm, experiences a sinking of the spirit, a consciousness of abandonment, which for a moment chills his blood, and depresses his natural gallantry of disposition.

There was something about the rude way this woman spoke to him that felt almost like contempt—an insult that Glenvarloch, despite his poverty, hadn’t encountered personally until now, which gave him a brief, painful surprise. The dark hints Martha made about the danger of his hiding place definitely didn’t sound good to him either. The bravest person, when surrounded by suspicious individuals and cut off from any advice or help except for their own courage and strength, feels a moment of despair, a sense of being abandoned, that chills their blood and dampens their natural bravery.

But, if sad reflections arose in Nigel's mind, he had not time to indulge them; and, if he saw little prospect of finding friends in Alsatia, he found that he was not likely to be solitary for lack of visitors.

But if sad thoughts came to Nigel's mind, he didn't have time to dwell on them; and although he saw little chance of making friends in Alsatia, he realized he probably wouldn't be alone due to the lack of visitors.

He had scarcely paced his apartment for ten minutes, endeavouring to arrange his ideas on the course which he was to pursue on quitting Alsatia, when he was interrupted by the Sovereign of the quarter, the great Duke Hildebrod himself, before whose approach the bolts and chains of the miser's dwelling fell, or withdrew, as of their own accord; and both the folding leaves of the door were opened, that he might roll himself into the house like a huge butt of liquor, a vessel to which he bore a considerable outward resemblance, both in size, shape, complexion, and contents.

He had barely walked around his apartment for ten minutes, trying to sort out his thoughts on what to do after leaving Alsatia, when he was interrupted by the ruler of the area, the great Duke Hildebrod himself. As he approached, the bolts and chains on the miser's door seemed to fall away on their own; the double doors swung open to let him in like a giant barrel of liquor, which he resembled quite a bit in size, shape, appearance, and contents.

“Good-morrow to your lordship,” said the greasy puncheon, cocking his single eye, and rolling it upon Nigel with a singular expression of familiar impudence; whilst his grim bull-dog, which was close at his heels, made a kind of gurgling in his throat, as if saluting, in similar fashion, a starved cat, the only living thing in Trapbois' house which we have not yet enumerated, and which had flown up to the top of the tester, where she stood clutching and grinning at the mastiff, whose greeting she accepted with as much good-will as Nigel bestowed on that of the dog's master.

“Good morning to you, my lord,” said the greasy man, tilting his one eye and giving Nigel a look full of cheeky familiarity, while his grim bulldog, trailing right behind him, made a sort of gurgling noise in his throat, as if greeting a hungry cat—the only other living thing in Trapbois' house that we haven't mentioned yet. The cat had jumped up to the top of the tester, where she stood gripping on and grinning at the mastiff, accepting his greeting with about as much enthusiasm as Nigel showed towards that of the dog's owner.

“Peace, Belzie!—D—n thee, peace!” said Duke Hildebrod. “Beasts and fools will be meddling, my lord.”

“Enough, Belzie!—D—n you, be quiet!” said Duke Hildebrod. “Animals and idiots will be interfering, my lord.”

“I thought, sir,” answered Nigel, with as much haughtiness as was consistent with the cool distance which he desired to preserve, “I thought I had told you, my name at present was Nigel Grahame.”

“I thought, sir,” replied Nigel, trying to sound as proud as he could while keeping the cool distance he wanted, “I thought I had mentioned that my name right now is Nigel Grahame.”

His eminence of Whitefriars on this burst out into a loud, chuckling, impudent laugh, repeating the word, till his voice was almost inarticulate,—“Niggle Green—Niggle Green—Niggle Green!—why, my lord, you would be queered in the drinking of a penny pot of Malmsey, if you cry before you are touched. Why, you have told me the secret even now, had I not had a shrewd guess of it before. Why, Master Nigel, since that is the word, I only called you my lord, because we made you a peer of Alsatia last night, when the sack was predominant.—How you look now!—Ha! ha! ha!”

His eminence from Whitefriars burst out laughing loudly, chuckling and being cheeky, repeating the name until his voice was almost unintelligible—“Niggle Green—Niggle Green—Niggle Green!—well, my lord, you’d be in trouble just trying to drink a cheap mug of Malmsey if you start shouting before anything happens. You just revealed the secret to me, even though I had a pretty good idea already. Well, Master Nigel, since that’s the case, I only called you my lord because we made you a peer of Alsatia last night when the wine was flowing freely.—Look at you now!—Ha! ha! ha!”

Nigel, indeed, conscious that he had unnecessarily betrayed himself, replied hastily,—“he was much obliged to him for the honours conferred, but did not propose to remain in the Sanctuary long enough to enjoy them.”

Nigel, clearly aware that he had unnecessarily revealed his true feelings, replied quickly, “I really appreciate the honors you've given me, but I don’t plan to stay in the Sanctuary long enough to enjoy them.”

“Why, that may be as you will, an you will walk by wise counsel,” answered the ducal porpoise; and, although Nigel remained standing, in hopes to accelerate his guest's departure, he threw himself into one of the old tapestry-backed easy-chairs, which cracked under his weight, and began to call for old Trapbois.

“Sure, that could be your choice if you want to follow good advice,” replied the ducal porpoise; and, although Nigel stayed standing, hoping to speed up his guest's exit, he settled into one of the old tapestry-backed armchairs, which creaked under his weight, and started to call for old Trapbois.

The crone of all work appearing instead of her master, the Duke cursed her for a careless jade, to let a strange gentleman, and a brave guest, go without his morning's draught.

The old woman of all tasks showed up instead of her master, and the Duke cursed her for being careless, for allowing a stranger, a bold guest, to leave without his morning drink.

“I never take one, sir,” said Glenvarloch.

“I never take one, sir,” Glenvarloch said.

“Time to begin—time to begin,” answered the Duke.—“Here, you old refuse of Sathan, go to our palace, and fetch Lord Green's morning draught. Let us see—what shall it be, my lord?—a humming double pot of ale, with a roasted crab dancing in it like a wherry above bridge?—or, hum—ay, young men are sweet-toothed—a quart of burnt sack, with sugar and spice?—good against the fogs. Or, what say you to sipping a gill of right distilled waters? Come, we will have them all, and you shall take your choice.—Here, you Jezebel, let Tim send the ale, and the sack, and the nipperkin of double-distilled, with a bit of diet-loaf, or some such trinket, and score it to the new comer.”

“Time to start—time to start,” replied the Duke. “Here, you old leftover from Satan, go to our palace and get Lord Green's morning drink. Let’s see—what will it be, my lord? A frothy double mug of ale, with a roasted crab floating in it like a rowboat above the bridge? Or, hmm—young guys love their sweets—a quart of burnt wine, with sugar and spice? That’s good for the fog. Or, how about sipping a small glass of well-distilled spirits? Come on, we’ll have them all, and you can pick your favorite. Here, you troublemaker, let Tim bring the ale, the wine, and the little glass of double-distilled spirits, with a bit of diet bread or some such thing, and put it on the tab for the newcomer.”

Glenvarloch, bethinking himself that it might be as well to endure this fellow's insolence for a brief season, as to get into farther discreditable quarrels, suffered him to take his own way, without interruption, only observing, “You make yourself at home, sir, in my apartment; but, for the time, you may use your pleasure. Meanwhile, I would fain know what has procured me the honour of this unexpected visit?”

Glenvarloch, realizing that it might be better to put up with this guy's rudeness for a little while rather than getting into more embarrassing fights, let him have his way without interruption, only saying, “You seem to have made yourself at home in my room, sir; but for now, feel free to do as you please. In the meantime, I would like to know what has brought you to visit me unexpectedly?”

“You shall know that when old Deb has brought the liquor—I never speak of business dry-lipped. Why, how she drumbles—I warrant she stops to take a sip on the road, and then you will think you have had unchristian measure.—In the meanwhile, look at that dog there—look Belzebub in the face, and tell me if you ever saw a sweeter beast—never flew but at head in his life.”

“You should know that when old Deb brings the booze—I never talk about business without a drink. Just look how she stumbles—I bet she stops to have a sip on the way, and then you'll think you got more than you bargained for. Meanwhile, check out that dog over there—look Belzebub in the face and tell me if you’ve ever seen a sweeter creature—he’s never gone after anything but heads in his life.”

And, after this congenial panegyric, he was proceeding with a tale of a dog and a bull, which threatened to be somewhat of the longest, when he was interrupted by the return of the old crone, and two of his own tapsters, bearing the various kinds of drinkables which he had demanded, and which probably was the only species of interruption he would have endured with equanimity.

And after this friendly praise, he was about to share a story about a dog and a bull, which seemed like it would go on for quite a while, when he was interrupted by the return of the old woman and two of his own bartenders, carrying the different kinds of drinks he had requested, which was probably the only type of interruption he would have accepted calmly.

When the cups and cans were duly arranged upon the table, and when Deborah, whom the ducal generosity honoured with a penny farthing in the way of gratuity, had withdrawn with her satellites, the worthy potentate, having first slightly invited Lord Glenvarloch to partake of the liquor which he was to pay for, and after having observed, that, excepting three poached eggs, a pint of bastard, and a cup of clary, he was fasting from every thing but sin, set himself seriously to reinforce the radical moisture. Glenvarloch had seen Scottish lairds and Dutch burgomasters at their potations; but their exploits (though each might be termed a thirsty generation) were nothing to those of Duke Hildebrod, who seemed an absolute sandbed, capable of absorbing any given quantity of liquid, without being either vivified or overflowed. He drank off the ale to quench a thirst which, as he said, kept him in a fever from morning to night, and night to morning; tippled off the sack to correct the crudity of the ale; sent the spirits after the sack to keep all quiet, and then declared that, probably, he should not taste liquor till post meridiem, unless it was in compliment to some especial friend. Finally, he intimated that he was ready to proceed on the business which brought him from home so early, a proposition which Nigel readily received, though he could not help suspecting that the most important purpose of Duke Hildebrod's visit was already transacted.

When the cups and cans were neatly set on the table, and after Deborah, who was generously given a penny farthing as a tip, had left with her entourage, the worthy duke, having first invited Lord Glenvarloch to enjoy the drink he was about to pay for, noted that besides three poached eggs, a pint of cheap wine, and a cup of clary, he was fasting from everything but sin. He then got serious about quenching his thirst. Glenvarloch had seen Scottish lords and Dutch mayors while drinking, but their feats (though each might be called a thirsty group) were nothing compared to Duke Hildebrod, who seemed like a complete desert, able to soak up any amount of liquid without being either energized or overflowing. He gulped down the ale to satisfy a thirst that, as he claimed, kept him in a constant state of discomfort from morning to night and night to morning; sipped the sack to balance out the harshness of the ale; chased the spirits after the sack to keep everything calm, and then declared that he probably wouldn’t drink again until afternoon unless it was to honor a special friend. Finally, he indicated that he was ready to get on with the business that had taken him out so early, a suggestion which Nigel eagerly accepted, although he couldn’t shake the feeling that the real reason for Duke Hildebrod’s visit was already accomplished.

In this, however, Lord Glenvarloch proved to be mistaken. Hildebrod, before opening what he had to say, made an accurate survey of the apartment, laying, from time to time, his finger on his nose, and winking on Nigel with his single eye, while he opened and shut the doors, lifted the tapestry, which concealed, in one or two places, the dilapidation of time upon the wainscoted walls, peeped into closets, and, finally, looked under the bed, to assure himself that the coast was clear of listeners and interlopers. He then resumed his seat, and beckoned confidentially to Nigel to draw his chair close to him.

In this, however, Lord Glenvarloch was mistaken. Hildebrod, before sharing what he had to say, carefully surveyed the room, occasionally tapping his nose and winking at Nigel with his one eye. He opened and closed the doors, lifted the tapestry that hid the worn spots on the paneled walls, peeked into closets, and finally looked under the bed to make sure there were no eavesdroppers or unwanted guests. He then took his seat again and motioned for Nigel to come closer.

“I am well as I am, Master Hildebrod,” replied the young lord, little disposed to encourage the familiarity which the man endeavoured to fix on him; but the undismayed Duke proceeded as follows:

“I’m doing fine as I am, Master Hildebrod,” replied the young lord, not really wanting to encourage the familiarity that the man was trying to establish with him; however, the undeterred Duke continued:

“You shall pardon me, my lord—and I now give you the title right seriously—if I remind you that our waters may be watched; for though old Trapbois be as deaf as Saint Paul's, yet his daughter has sharp ears, and sharp eyes enough, and it is of them that it is my business to speak.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, my lord—and I'm using the title sincerely—if I remind you that our waters might be observed; because even though old Trapbois is as deaf as a post, his daughter has keen ears and sharp eyes, and it's about them that I need to talk.”

“Say away, then, sir,” said Nigel, edging his chair somewhat closer to the Quicksand, “although I cannot conceive what business I have either with mine host or his daughter.”

“Go ahead, then, sir,” said Nigel, moving his chair a bit closer to the Quicksand, “even though I can’t imagine what interest I have with either the host or his daughter.”

“We will see that in the twinkling of a quart-pot,” answered the gracious Duke; “and first, my lord, you must not think to dance in a net before old Jack Hildebrod, that has thrice your years o'er his head, and was born, like King Richard, with all his eye-teeth ready cut.”

“We'll see that in the blink of an eye,” replied the gracious Duke; “and first, my lord, you shouldn't think about dancing in a net in front of old Jack Hildebrod, who has three times as many years as you and was born, like King Richard, with all his eye-teeth already in.”

“Well, sir, go on,” said Nigel.

“Well, go ahead, sir,” said Nigel.

“Why, then, my lord, I presume to say, that, if you are, as I believe you are, that Lord Glenvarloch whom all the world talk of—the Scotch gallant that has spent all, to a thin cloak and a light purse—be not moved, my lord, it is so noised of you—men call you the sparrow-hawk, who will fly at all—ay, were it in the very Park—Be not moved, my lord.”

“Why, then, my lord, I feel compelled to say that if you are, as I believe you are, the Lord Glenvarloch that everyone is talking about—the Scottish gentleman who has spent everything on a thin cloak and a light purse—don’t be swayed, my lord, there’s so much chatter about you—people call you the sparrow-hawk, who will go after anything—even if it’s in the very park—Don’t be swayed, my lord.”

“I am ashamed, sirrah,” replied Glenvarloch, “that you should have power to move me by your insolence—but beware—and, if you indeed guess who I am, consider how long I may be able to endure your tone of insolent familiarity.”

“I’m ashamed, sir,” replied Glenvarloch, “that you have the power to provoke me with your rudeness—but be careful—and if you truly know who I am, think about how long I can tolerate your disrespectful familiarity.”

“I crave pardon, my lord,” said Hildebrod, with a sullen, yet apologetic look; “I meant no harm in speaking my poor mind. I know not what honour there may be in being familiar with your lordship, but I judge there is little safety, for Lowestoffe is laid up in lavender only for having shown you the way into Alsatia; and so, what is to come of those who maintain you when you are here, or whether they will get most honour or most trouble by doing so, I leave with your lordship's better judgment.”

“I seek your forgiveness, my lord,” said Hildebrod, with a gloomy but remorseful expression; “I didn’t mean any harm by sharing my thoughts. I’m unsure what honor there is in being close with your lordship, but I believe there’s little safety in it, since Lowestoffe is resting in peace just for having guided you into Alsatia; so, what will happen to those who support you while you’re here, or whether they’ll receive more honor or more trouble by doing so, I leave to your lordship's wiser judgment.”

“I will bring no one into trouble on my account,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I will leave Whitefriars to-morrow. Nay, by Heaven, I will leave it this day.”

“I won’t get anyone in trouble because of me,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I’m leaving Whitefriars tomorrow. No, by God, I’m leaving today.”

“You will have more wit in your anger, I trust,” said Duke Hildebrod; “listen first to what I have to say to you, and, if honest Jack Hildebrod puts you not in the way of nicking them all, may he never cast doublets, or dull a greenhorn again! And so, my lord, in plain words, you must wap and win.”

“You’ll have more cleverness in your anger, I hope,” said Duke Hildebrod; “listen first to what I need to say to you, and if honest Jack Hildebrod doesn’t help you find a way to outsmart them all, may he never throw dice or con a newbie again! So, my lord, to put it simply, you must hit hard and win.”

“Your words must be still plainer before I can understand them,” said Nigel.

“Your words need to be a lot simpler before I can understand them,” said Nigel.

“What the devil—a gamester, one who deals with the devil's bones and the doctors, and not understand Pedlar's French! Nay, then, I must speak plain English, and that's the simpleton's tongue.”

“What the hell—a gambler, someone who plays with the devil's bones and the doctors, and doesn’t understand basic French? Well, then, I have to speak plain English, and that’s the language of a fool.”

“Speak, then, sir,” said Nigel; “and I pray you be brief, for I have little more time to bestow on you.”

“Go ahead and speak, then,” said Nigel; “and please be quick, because I don’t have much time to spend on you.”

“Well, then, my lord, to be brief, as you and the lawyers call it—I understand you have an estate in the north, which changes masters for want of the redeeming ready.—Ay, you start, but you cannot dance in a net before me, as I said before; and so the king runs the frowning humour on you, and the Court vapours you the go-by; and the Prince scowls at you from under his cap; and the favourite serves you out the puckered brow and the cold shoulder; and the favourite's favourite—”

“Well, my lord, to keep it short, as you and the lawyers say—I hear you have some property up north that’s changing hands because you can’t pay to get it back. You’re surprised, but you can’t pull one over on me, as I mentioned earlier; the king has a grumpy attitude towards you, the Court is ignoring you, the Prince is giving you dirty looks from under his hat, and the favorite is giving you a cold shoulder and a frown; and the favorite’s favorite—”

“To go no further, sir,” interrupted Nigel, “suppose all this true—and what follows?”

“To not go any further, sir,” interrupted Nigel, “let’s say all of this is true—and then what happens?”

“What follows?” returned Duke Hildebrod. “Marry, this follows, that you will owe good deed, as well as good will, to him who shall put you in the way to walk with your beaver cocked in the presence, as an ye were Earl of Kildare; bully the courtiers; meet the Prince's blighting look with a bold brow; confront the favourite; baffle his deputy, and—”

“What comes next?” Duke Hildebrod replied. “Well, what comes next is that you will owe a favor, as well as goodwill, to the one who helps you walk proud with your hat held high, as if you were the Earl of Kildare; challenge the courtiers; face the Prince's harsh gaze with confidence; stand up to the favorite; outsmart his assistant, and—”

“This is all well,” said Nigel! “but how is it to be accomplished?”

“This is all good,” said Nigel! “But how is it going to be done?”

“By making thee a Prince of Peru, my lord of the northern latitudes; propping thine old castle with ingots,—fertilizing thy failing fortunes with gold dust—it shall but cost thee to put thy baron's coronet for a day or so on the brows of an old Caduca here, the man's daughter of the house, and thou art master of a mass of treasure that shall do all I have said for thee, and—”

“By making you a Prince of Peru, my lord from the north; supporting your old castle with ingots—boosting your declining fortunes with gold dust—it will only cost you to place your baron’s coronet for a day or so on the head of an old Caduca here, the man's daughter of the house, and you will be in charge of a huge amount of treasure that will do everything I’ve promised for you, and—”

“What, you would have me marry this old gentlewoman here, the daughter of mine host?” said Nigel, surprised and angry, yet unable to suppress some desire to laugh.

“What, you want me to marry this old lady here, the daughter of my landlord?” said Nigel, surprised and angry, but unable to hold back some urge to laugh.

“Nay, my lord, I would have you marry fifty thousand good sterling pounds; for that, and better, hath old Trapbois hoarded; and thou shall do a deed of mercy in it to the old man, who will lose his golden smelts in some worse way—for now that he is well-nigh past his day of work, his day of payment is like to follow.”

“Nah, my lord, I’d have you marry fifty thousand good pounds; because that, and even more, old Trapbois has saved up; and you’ll be doing a kind thing for the old man, who will lose his money in some worse way—since he’s nearly done with his work, his payday is likely coming up soon.”

“Truly, this is a most courteous offer,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but may I pray of your candour, most noble duke, to tell me why you dispose of a ward of so much wealth on a stranger like me, who may leave you to-morrow?”

“Honestly, this is a very generous offer,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but may I ask for your honesty, most noble duke, to explain why you would give such a wealthy ward to a stranger like me, who might leave you tomorrow?”

“In sooth, my lord,” said the Duke, “that question smacks more of the wit of Beaujeu's ordinary, than any word I have yet heard your lordship speak, and reason it is you should be answered. Touching my peers, it is but necessary to say, that Mistress Martha Trapbois will none of them, whether clerical or laic. The captain hath asked her, so hath the parson, but she will none of them—she looks higher than either, and is, to say truth, a woman of sense, and so forth, too profound, and of spirit something too high, to put up with greasy buff or rusty prunella. For ourselves, we need but hint that we have a consort in the land of the living, and, what is more to purpose, Mrs. Martha knows it. So, as she will not lace her kersey hood save with a quality binding, you, my lord, must be the man, and must carry off fifty thousand decuses, the spoils of five thousand bullies, cutters, and spendthrifts,—always deducting from the main sum some five thousand pounds for our princely advice and countenance, without which, as matters stand in Alsatia, you would find it hard to win the plate.”

“Honestly, my lord,” said the Duke, “that question sounds more like something you'd hear from Beaujeu's regulars than anything I've heard you say yet, and it's only fair you get an answer. Regarding my peers, I only need to mention that Mistress Martha Trapbois wants nothing to do with any of them, whether they be clerics or commoners. The captain has asked her, and so has the parson, but she’s not interested—she aims higher than either of them and, to tell the truth, she’s a sensible woman who’s too profound and has too much spirit to settle for a greasy brute or a rusty gambler. As for us, we only need to suggest that we have a connection in the land of the living, and what's more important, Mrs. Martha is aware of it. Since she won't wear her wool hood unless it's lined with something of quality, you, my lord, must be the one to come forward and take on fifty thousand coins, the spoils of five thousand rascals, crooks, and wastrels—always reserving about five thousand pounds for our royal advice and support, without which, given the current situation in Alsatia, you would struggle to acquire the goods.”

“But has your wisdom considered, sir,” replied Glenvarloch, “how this wedlock can serve me in my present emergence?”

“But have you thought about, sir,” replied Glenvarloch, “how this marriage can help me in my current situation?”

“As for that, my lord,” said Duke Hildebrod, “if, with forty or fifty thousand pounds in your pouch, you cannot save yourself, you will deserve to lose your head for your folly, and your hand for being close-fisted.”

“As for that, my lord,” said Duke Hildebrod, “if you can't save yourself with forty or fifty thousand pounds in your pocket, then you deserve to lose your head for your foolishness and your hand for being stingy.”

“But, since your goodness has taken my matters into such serious consideration,” continued Nigel, who conceived there was no prudence in breaking with a man, who, in his way, meant him favour rather than offence, “perhaps you may be able to tell me how my kindred will be likely to receive such a bride as you recommend to me?”

“But, since your kindness has given my situation such serious thought,” continued Nigel, who believed it wouldn’t be wise to part ways with someone who, in their own way, meant him well rather than harm, “maybe you could share how my family is likely to react to a bride like the one you’re suggesting?”

“Touching that matter, my lord, I have always heard your countrymen knew as well as other folks, on which side their bread was buttered. And, truly, speaking from report, I know no place where fifty thousand pounds—fifty thousand pounds, I say—will make a woman more welcome than it is likely to do in your ancient kingdom. And, truly, saving the slight twist in her shoulder, Mrs. Martha Trapbois is a person of very awful and majestic appearance, and may, for aught I know, be come of better blood than any one wots of; for old Trapbois looks not over like to be her father, and her mother was a generous, liberal sort of a woman.”

“About that, my lord, I've always heard that your countrymen know as well as anyone else where their bread is buttered. And honestly, from what I've heard, I can't think of any place where fifty thousand pounds—fifty thousand pounds, I say—will make a woman feel more welcome than it likely would in your ancient kingdom. And really, aside from the slight twist in her shoulder, Mrs. Martha Trapbois has a very impressive and commanding presence, and for all I know, she might come from better lineage than anyone realizes; old Trapbois doesn’t seem much like her father, and her mother was quite a generous and open-hearted woman.”

“I am afraid,” answered Nigel, “that chance is rather too vague to assure her a gracious reception into an honourable house.”

“I’m afraid,” replied Nigel, “that luck is just a bit too uncertain to guarantee her a warm welcome into a respectable home.”

“Why, then, my lord,” replied Hildebrod, “I think it like she will be even with them; for I will venture to say, she has as much ill-nature as will make her a match for your whole clan.”

“Why, then, my lord,” replied Hildebrod, “I believe she will get even with them; I’m willing to bet she has enough bad attitude to take on your entire clan.”

“That may inconvenience me a little,” replied Nigel.

"That might inconvenience me a bit," replied Nigel.

“Not a whit—not a whit,” said the Duke, fertile in expedients; “if she should become rather intolerable, which is not unlikely, your honourable house, which I presume to be a castle, hath, doubtless, both turrets and dungeons, and ye may bestow your bonny bride in either the one or the other, and then you know you will be out of hearing of her tongue, and she will be either above or below the contempt of your friends.”

“Not at all—not at all,” said the Duke, full of ideas; “if she becomes a bit unbearable, which is quite possible, your noble house, which I assume is a castle, surely has both towers and dungeons. You can place your lovely bride in either one, and then you know you won’t have to hear her nagging, and she’ll be either above or below your friends’ scorn.”

“It is sagely counselled, most equitable sir,” replied Nigel, “and such restraint would be a fit meed for her folly that gave me any power over her.”

“It’s wise advice, very fair sir,” replied Nigel, “and such restraint would be a suitable reward for her foolishness that gave me any power over her.”

“You entertain the project then, my lord?” said Duke Hildebrod.

“You're considering the project then, my lord?” said Duke Hildebrod.

“I must turn it in my mind for twenty-four hours,” said Nigel; “and I will pray you so to order matters that I be not further interrupted by any visitors.”

“I need to think about it for twenty-four hours,” said Nigel; “and I kindly ask you to make arrangements so that I am not disturbed by any visitors.”

“We will utter an edict to secure your privacy,” said the Duke; “and you do not think,” he added, lowering his voice to a confidential whisper, “that ten thousand is too much to pay to the Sovereign, in name of wardship?”

“We will issue a decree to protect your privacy,” said the Duke; “and you don’t think,” he added, lowering his voice to a secretive whisper, “that ten thousand is too much to pay to the Sovereign for guardianship?”

“Ten thousand!” said Lord Glenvarloch; “why, you said five thousand but now.”

“Ten thousand!” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but you just said it was five thousand.”

“Aha! art avised of that?” said the Duke, touching the side of his nose with his finger; “nay, if you have marked me so closely, you are thinking on the case more nearly than I believed, till you trapped me. Well, well, we will not quarrel about the consideration, as old Trapbois would call it—do you win and wear the dame; it will be no hard matter with your face and figure, and I will take care that no one interrupts you. I will have an edict from the Senate as soon as they meet for their meridiem.”

“Aha! Are you onto that?” said the Duke, tapping the side of his nose with his finger. “Well, if you’ve been watching me so closely, you’re thinking about this more than I realized until you caught me off guard. Anyway, let’s not argue about the matter, as old Trapbois would say—go ahead and win her over; it won’t be hard with your looks and charm, and I’ll make sure no one interrupts you. I’ll get an official decree from the Senate as soon as they meet for their midday session.”

So saying, Duke Hildebrod took his leave.

So saying, Duke Hildebrod said goodbye.










CHAPTER XXIV

  This is the time—Heaven's maiden sentinel
  Hath quitted her high watch—the lesser spangles
  Are paling one by one; give me the ladder
  And the short lever—bid Anthony
  Keep with his carabine the wicket-gate;
  And do thou bare thy knife and follow me,
  For we will in and do it—darkness like this
  Is dawning of our fortunes.
                           Old Play.
  This is the moment—Heaven's maiden guard  
  Has abandoned her high watch—the smaller stars  
  Are fading one by one; hand me the ladder  
  And the short lever—tell Anthony  
  To keep watch at the gate with his rifle;  
  And you draw your knife and follow me,  
  Because we're going in to do it—darkness like this  
  Is the beginning of our fortunes.  
                           Old Play. 

When Duke Hildebrod had withdrawn, Nigel's first impulse was an irresistible feeling to laugh at the sage adviser, who would have thus connected him with age, ugliness, and ill-temper; but his next thought was pity for the unfortunate father and daughter, who, being the only persons possessed of wealth in this unhappy district, seemed like a wreck on the sea-shore of a barbarous country, only secured from plunder for the moment by the jealousy of the tribes among whom it had been cast. Neither could he help being conscious that his own residence here was upon conditions equally precarious, and that he was considered by the Alsatians in the same light of a godsend on the Cornish coast, or a sickly but wealthy caravan travelling through the wilds of Africa, and emphatically termed by the nations of despoilers through whose regions it passes Dummalafong, which signifies a thing given to be devoured—a common prey to all men.

When Duke Hildebrod left, Nigel's first instinct was to laugh at the wise advisor who tried to link him with age, unattractiveness, and a bad mood; but then he felt sympathy for the unfortunate father and daughter, who, being the only wealthy people in this troubled area, resembled a shipwreck on the shore of a savage land, momentarily safe from being robbed only because of the jealousy of the tribes around them. He also realized that his own stay here was just as uncertain, and that the Alsatians viewed him similarly to a lucky find on the Cornish coast, or a sickly yet affluent caravan moving through the wilds of Africa, which is derogatorily referred to by the plundering nations it passes through as Dummalafong, meaning something offered up to be consumed—a common target for everyone.

Nigel had already formed his own plan to extricate himself, at whatever risk, from his perilous and degrading situation; and, in order that he might carry it into instant execution, he only awaited the return of Lowestoffe's messenger. He expected him, however, in vain, and could only amuse himself by looking through such parts of his baggage as had been sent to him from his former lodgings, in order to select a small packet of the most necessary articles to take with him, in the event of his quitting his lodgings secretly and suddenly, as speed and privacy would, he foresaw, be particularly necessary, if he meant to obtain an interview with the king, which was the course his spirit and his interest alike determined him to pursue.

Nigel had already come up with his own plan to get out of his risky and humiliating situation, no matter the cost; and to put it into action right away, he was just waiting for the return of Lowestoffe's messenger. However, he waited in vain and could only occupy himself by going through the items in his baggage that had been sent from his old lodgings to pick out a small pack of the most essential things to take with him. This was in case he had to leave his lodgings quietly and quickly, as he knew that speed and privacy would be crucial if he wanted to meet with the king, which was the path his instincts and interests both urged him to take.

While he was thus engaged, he found, greatly to his satisfaction, that Master Lowestoffe had transmitted not only his rapier and poniard, but a pair of pistols, which he had used in travelling; of a smaller and more convenient size than the large petronels, or horse pistols, which were then in common use, as being made for wearing at the girdle or in the pockets. Next to having stout and friendly comrades, a man is chiefly emboldened by finding himself well armed in case of need, and Nigel, who had thought with some anxiety on the hazard of trusting his life, if attacked, to the protection of the clumsy weapon with which Lowestoffe had equipped him, in order to complete his disguise, felt an emotion of confidence approaching to triumph, as, drawing his own good and well-tried rapier, he wiped it with his handkerchief, examined its point, bent it once or twice against the ground to prove its well-known metal, and finally replaced it in the scabbard, the more hastily, that he heard a tap at the door of his chamber, and had no mind to be found vapouring in the apartment with his sword drawn.

While he was busy, he was pleased to find that Master Lowestoffe had sent not only his rapier and dagger but also a pair of pistols he had used while traveling. These were smaller and more convenient than the large petronels or horse pistols that were common at the time, made for wearing at the belt or in pockets. Besides having strong and loyal friends, a person feels most confident when they're well-armed in case of danger. Nigel, who had worried about the risk of relying on the awkward weapon Lowestoffe gave him for his disguise, felt a surge of confidence, almost like triumph, as he drew his trusted rapier. He wiped it with his handkerchief, checked the tip, bent it a couple of times against the ground to test its reliable metal, and then quickly put it back in the scabbard when he heard a knock at his room door, not wanting to be caught showing off with his sword drawn.

It was his old host who entered, to tell him with many cringes that the price of his apartment was to be a crown per diem; and that, according to the custom of Whitefriars, the rent was always payable per advance, although he never scrupled to let the money lie till a week or fortnight, or even a month, in the hands of any honourable guest like Master Grahame, always upon some reasonable consideration for the use. Nigel got rid of the old dotard's intrusion, by throwing down two pieces of gold, and requesting the accommodation of his present apartment for eight days, adding, however, he did not think he should tarry so long.

It was his old host who came in, awkwardly informing him that the rent for his apartment would be a crown a day; and that, following the custom of Whitefriars, the payment was always made in advance. Even though he never hesitated to let the money sit for a week, two weeks, or even a month with any respectable guest like Master Grahame, always based on some reasonable agreement for the use. Nigel got rid of the old man's interruption by tossing down two gold coins and asking to keep his current apartment for eight days, though he added that he didn't think he would stay that long.

The miser, with a sparkling eye and a trembling hand, clutched fast the proffered coin, and, having balanced the pieces with exquisite pleasure on the extremity of his withered finger, began almost instantly to show that not even the possession of gold can gratify for more than an instant the very heart that is most eager in the pursuit of it. First, the pieces might be light—with hasty hand he drew a small pair of scales from his bosom, and weighed them, first together, then separately, and smiled with glee as he saw them attain the due depression in the balance—a circumstance which might add to his profits, if it were true, as was currently reported, that little of the gold coinage was current in Alsatia in a perfect state, and that none ever left the Sanctuary in that condition.

The miser, with bright eyes and a shaky hand, tightly grasped the offered coin and, after balancing the pieces with immense pleasure on the tip of his gnarled finger, quickly demonstrated that not even having gold can satisfy for more than a moment the heart that craves it most. First, the coins might be lightweight—he hurriedly pulled out a small scale from his pocket and weighed them, first together and then separately, smiling with joy as he watched them tip the scale just right—a situation that could boost his profits, if it were true, as people often said, that little of the gold currency in Alsatia was in perfect condition, and none ever left the Sanctuary in that state.

Another fear then occurred to trouble the old miser's pleasure. He had been just able to comprehend that Nigel intended to leave the Friars sooner than the arrival of the term for which he had deposited the rent. This might imply an expectation of refunding, which, as a Scotch wag said, of all species of funding, jumped least with the old gentleman's humour. He was beginning to enter a hypothetical caveat on this subject, and to quote several reasons why no part of the money once consigned as room-rent, could be repaid back on any pretence, without great hardship to the landlord, when Nigel, growing impatient, told him that the money was his absolutely, and without any intention on his part of resuming any of it—all he asked in return was the liberty of enjoying in private the apartment he had paid for. Old Trapbois, who had still at his tongue's end much of the smooth language, by which, in his time, he had hastened the ruin of many a young spendthrift, began to launch out upon the noble and generous disposition of his new guest, until Nigel, growing impatient, took the old gentleman by the hand, and gently, yet irresistibly, leading him to the door of the chamber, put him out, but with such decent and moderate exertion of his superior strength, as to render the action in no shape indecorous, and, fastening the door, began to do that for his pistols which he had done for his favourite sword, examining with care the flints and locks, and reviewing the state of his small provision of ammunition.

Another fear then popped up to disturb the old miser's pleasure. He had just realized that Nigel planned to leave the Friars before the term for which he had paid rent was up. This might mean he expected a refund, which, as a Scottish jokester said, of all forms of funding, was the least amusing to the old man. He was starting to mentally prepare a warning about this and to list several reasons why no part of the money paid for room rent could be returned for any reason, without causing great hardship to the landlord. Just then, Nigel, getting impatient, told him that the money was his completely, with no intention of taking any of it back—all he wanted in return was the right to enjoy the apartment he had paid for in private. Old Trapbois, who still had plenty of the smooth talk he used to use to speed up the downfall of many a young spendthrift, began to praise the noble and generous nature of his new guest. But Nigel, growing more impatient, took the old gentleman by the hand and gently but firmly led him to the door of the room, pushing him out with just the right amount of strength to keep it respectful. After shutting the door, he began to do for his pistols what he had done for his favorite sword—carefully checking the flints, locks, and reviewing his small supply of ammunition.

In this operation he was a second time interrupted by a knocking at the door—he called upon the person to enter, having no doubt that it was Lowestoffe's messenger at length arrived. It was, however, the ungracious daughter of old Trapbois, who, muttering something about her father's mistake, laid down upon the table one of the pieces of gold which Nigel had just given to him, saying, that what she retained was the full rent for the term he had specified. Nigel replied, he had paid the money, and had no desire to receive it again.

While he was busy with the task, he was interrupted for the second time by a knock at the door. He called for the person to come in, certain it was finally Lowestoffe's messenger. However, it turned out to be the unpleasant daughter of old Trapbois. Muttering something about her father's mistake, she put one of the gold coins that Nigel had just given him on the table, saying that what she kept was the full rent for the term he had mentioned. Nigel replied that he had already paid the money and had no intention of taking it back.

“Do as you will with it, then,” replied his hostess, “for there it lies, and shall lie for me. If you are fool enough to pay more than is reason, my father shall not be knave enough to take it.”

“Do whatever you want with it, then,” replied his hostess, “because it’s right there, and it will stay there for me. If you’re foolish enough to pay more than what’s reasonable, my father won’t be dishonest enough to accept it.”

“But your father, mistress,” said Nigel, “your father told me—”

“But your dad, miss,” said Nigel, “your dad told me—”

“Oh, my father, my father,” said she, interrupting him,—“my father managed these affairs while he was able—I manage them now, and that may in the long run be as well for both of us.”

“Oh, my father, my father,” she said, cutting him off, “my father took care of these matters while he could—I’m handling them now, and that might actually be better for both of us in the long run.”

She then looked on the table, and observed the weapons.

She then glanced at the table and noticed the weapons.

“You have arms, I see,” she said; “do you know how to use them?”

“You have arms, I see,” she said. “Do you know how to use them?”

“I should do so mistress,” replied Nigel, “for it has been my occupation.”

“I should do that, ma'am,” replied Nigel, “because that's what I've been doing.”

“You are a soldier, then?” she demanded.

“You're a soldier, then?” she asked.

“No farther as yet, than as every gentleman of my country is a soldier.”

“No further yet, than just like every gentleman from my country is a soldier.”

“Ay, that is your point of honour—to cut the throats of the poor—a proper gentlemanlike occupation for those who should protect them!”

“Aye, that's your sense of honor—to harm the defenseless—a truly gentlemanly job for those who should be protecting them!”

“I do not deal in cutting throats, mistress,” replied Nigel; “but I carry arms to defend myself, and my country if it needs me.”

“I don’t get involved in violence, ma'am,” replied Nigel; “but I carry weapons to protect myself and my country if it needs me.”

“Ay,” replied Martha, “it is fairly worded; but men say you are as prompt as others in petty brawls, where neither your safety nor your country is in hazard; and that had it not been so, you would not have been in the Sanctuary to-day.”

“Ay,” replied Martha, “it’s well said; but people say you’re just as quick to get involved in small fights, where neither your safety nor your country is at risk; and if that weren’t the case, you wouldn’t have been in the Sanctuary today.”

“Mistress,” returned Nigel, “I should labour in vain to make you understand that a man's honour, which is, or should be, dearer to him than his life, may often call on and compel us to hazard our own lives, or those of others, on what would otherwise seem trifling contingencies.”

“Ma'am,” replied Nigel, “I would be wasting my time trying to make you understand that a man's honor, which is, or should be, more precious to him than his life, often demands that we risk our own lives or the lives of others for what might otherwise seem like insignificant matters.”

“God's law says nought of that,” said the female; “I have only read there, that thou shall not kill. But I have neither time nor inclination to preach to you—you will find enough of fighting here if you like it, and well if it come not to seek you when you are least prepared. Farewell for the present—the char-woman will execute your commands for your meals.”

“God's law doesn’t mention that,” said the woman. “All I read is that you shall not kill. But I have neither the time nor the desire to lecture you—you’ll find plenty of fighting here if that’s what you want, and it’s better if it doesn’t come looking for you when you’re least ready. Goodbye for now—the maid will handle your meal requests.”

She left the room, just as Nigel, provoked at her assuming a superior tone of judgment and of censure, was about to be so superfluous as to enter into a dispute with an old pawnbroker's daughter on the subject of the point of honour. He smiled at himself for the folly into which the spirit of self-vindication had so nearly hurried him.

She walked out of the room right as Nigel, annoyed by her condescending tone of judgment and criticism, was about to unnecessarily start an argument with the daughter of an old pawnbroker about the concept of honor. He chuckled to himself for almost being foolish enough to get caught up in the urge to defend himself.

Lord Glenvarloch then applied to old Deborah the char-woman, by whose intermediation he was provided with a tolerably decent dinner; and the only embarrassment which he experienced, was from the almost forcible entry of the old dotard his landlord, who insisted upon giving his assistance at laying the cloth. Nigel had some difficulty to prevent him from displacing his arms and some papers which were lying on a small table at which he had been sitting; and nothing short of a stern and positive injunction to the contrary could compel him to use another board (though there were two in the room) for the purpose of laying the cloth.

Lord Glenvarloch then contacted old Deborah, the char-woman, through whom he managed to get a pretty decent dinner. The only awkward moment he faced was the almost forceful arrival of his old landlord, who insisted on helping set the table. Nigel struggled to keep him from moving his papers and arms that were on a small table where he had been sitting, and nothing less than a firm and clear command to stop could make him use one of the other two tables in the room for setting the cloth.

Having at length obliged him to relinquish his purpose, he could not help observing that the eyes of the old dotard seemed still anxiously fixed upon the small table on which lay his sword and pistols; and that, amidst all the little duties which he seemed officiously anxious to render to his guest, he took every opportunity of looking towards and approaching these objects of his attention. At length, when Trapbois thought he had completely avoided the notice of his guest, Nigel, through the observation of one of the cracked mirrors, oh which channel of communication the old man had not calculated, beheld him actually extend his hand towards the table in question. He thought it unnecessary to use further ceremony, but telling his landlord, in a stern voice, that he permitted no one to touch his arms, he commanded him to leave the apartment. The old usurer commenced a maundering sort of apology, in which all that Nigel distinctly apprehended, was a frequent repetition of the word consideration, and which did not seem to him to require any other answer than a reiteration of his command to him to leave the apartment, upon pain of worse consequences.

Finally managing to make him drop his intentions, he couldn’t help but notice that the old fool seemed to be fixated on the small table where his sword and pistols lay. Despite all the little things he was overly eager to do for his guest, he seized every chance to glance at and move closer to these items of interest. Eventually, when Trapbois thought he had completely escaped his guest’s notice, Nigel, by looking at one of the cracked mirrors—something the old man had not anticipated—saw him actually reach for the table. Nigel decided he didn’t need to be polite any longer and told his landlord in a stern voice that he didn’t allow anyone to touch his weapons. He then ordered him to leave the room. The old moneylender started mumbling some sort of apology, in which all Nigel clearly picked out was a repeated mention of the word consideration, which didn’t seem to require any response other than a reaffirmation of his directive for the old man to leave the room, or else face worse consequences.

The ancient Hebe who acted as Lord Glenvarloch's cup-bearer, took his part against the intrusion of the still more antiquated Ganymede, and insisted on old Trapbois leaving the room instantly, menacing him at the same time with her mistress's displeasure if he remained there any longer. The old man seemed more under petticoat government than any other, for the threat of the char-woman produced greater effect upon him than the more formidable displeasure of Nigel. He withdrew grumbling and muttering, and Lord Glenvarloch heard him bar a large door at the nearer end of the gallery, which served as a division betwixt the other parts of the extensive mansion, and the apartment occupied by his guest, which, as the reader is aware, had its access from the landing-place at the head of the grand staircase.

The ancient Hebe, who served as Lord Glenvarloch's cup-bearer, stood up for him against the even older Ganymede and demanded that old Trapbois leave the room immediately, threatening him with her mistress's anger if he stayed any longer. The old man seemed more afraid of her than anyone else, as her threat had a bigger impact on him than Nigel's much more serious displeasure. He left grumbling and muttering, and Lord Glenvarloch heard him lock a large door at the end of the gallery, which separated the other parts of the huge mansion from the room occupied by his guest. As the reader knows, this room could be accessed from the landing at the top of the grand staircase.

Nigel accepted the careful sound of the bolts and bars as they were severally drawn by the trembling hand of old Trapbois, as an omen that the senior did not mean again to revisit him in the course of the evening, and heartily rejoiced that he was at length to be left to uninterrupted solitude.

Nigel listened to the careful sound of the bolts and bars being drawn by the unsteady hand of old Trapbois. He took it as a sign that the old man wouldn’t bother him again that evening, and he was really happy to finally have some uninterrupted solitude.

The old woman asked if there was aught else to be done for his accommodation; and, indeed, it had hitherto seemed as if the pleasure of serving him, or more properly the reward which she expected, had renewed her youth and activity. Nigel desired to have candles, to have a fire lighted in his apartment, and a few fagots placed beside it, that he might feed it from time to time, as he began to feel the chilly effects of the damp and low situation of the house, close as it was to the Thames. But while the old woman was absent upon his errand, he began to think in what way he should pass the long solitary evening with which he was threatened.

The old woman asked if there was anything else she could do to make him comfortable; it really seemed like the pleasure of helping him, or more accurately the reward she anticipated, had brought back her youth and energy. Nigel wanted some candles, a fire lit in his room, and a few logs stacked beside it so he could tend to it occasionally, as he was starting to feel the cold effects of the dampness and the low position of the house, being so close to the Thames. But while the old woman was out on his request, he began to consider how he would spend the long, lonely evening that awaited him.

His own reflections promised to Nigel little amusement, and less applause. He had considered his own perilous situation in every light in which it could be viewed, and foresaw as little utility as comfort in resuming the survey. To divert the current of his ideas, books were, of course, the readiest resource; and although, like most of us, Nigel had, in his time, sauntered through large libraries, and even spent a long time there without greatly disturbing their learned contents, he was now in a situation where the possession of a volume, even of very inferior merit, becomes a real treasure. The old housewife returned shortly afterwards with fagots, and some pieces of half-burnt wax-candles, the perquisites, probably, real or usurped, of some experienced groom of the chambers, two of which she placed in large brass candlesticks, of different shapes and patterns, and laid the others on the table, that Nigel might renew them from time to time as they burnt to the socket. She heard with interest Lord Glenvarloch's request to have a book—any sort of book—to pass away the night withal, and returned for answer, that she knew of no other books in the house than her young mistress's (as she always denominated Mistress Martha Trapbois) Bible, which the owner would not lend; and her master's Whetstone of Witte, being the second part of Arithmetic, by Robert Record, with the Cossike Practice and Rule of Equation; which promising volume Nigel declined to borrow. She offered, however, to bring him some books from Duke Hildebrod—“who sometimes, good gentleman, gave a glance at a book when the State affairs of Alsatia left him as much leisure.”

His own thoughts brought Nigel little enjoyment and even less praise. He had looked at his risky situation from every angle and saw little benefit or comfort in continuing to assess it. To change the flow of his thoughts, books were, of course, the easiest solution; and although, like most people, Nigel had strolled through large libraries and even spent a long time there without really engaging with the scholarly materials, he was now in a position where having even a low-quality book felt like a true treasure. The old housekeeper returned shortly after with firewood and some partially burned candles, likely leftovers from some experienced attendant, placing two in large brass candlesticks of different designs and putting the rest on the table for Nigel to replace as they burned down. She listened with interest to Lord Glenvarloch’s request for a book—any book—to pass the night and replied that she knew of no other books in the house except her young mistress's (as she always called Mistress Martha Trapbois) Bible, which the owner wouldn’t lend, and her master's *Whetstone of Witte*, the second part of *Arithmetic* by Robert Record, which included the Cossic Practice and Rule of Equation; this promising volume Nigel chose not to borrow. She did, however, offer to get him some books from Duke Hildebrod—“who sometimes, good gentleman, glanced at a book when state affairs in Alsatia left him some free time.”

Nigfil embraced the proposal, and his unwearied Iris scuttled away on this second embassy. She returned in a short time with a tattered quarto volume under her arm, and a bottle of sack in her hand; for the Duke, judging that mere reading was dry work, had sent the wine by way of sauce to help it down, not forgetting to add the price to the morning's score, which he had already run up against the stranger in the Sanctuary.

Nigfil accepted the proposal, and his tireless Iris hurried off on this second mission. She came back shortly with a worn quarto book under her arm and a bottle of sack in her hand; the Duke figured that just reading was dull, so he sent the wine as a way to spice it up, making sure to add the cost to the morning's tab, which he had already started for the stranger in the Sanctuary.

Nigel seized on the book, and did not refuse the wine, thinking that a glass or two, as it really proved to be of good quality, would be no bad interlude to his studies. He dismissed, with thanks and assurance of reward, the poor old drudge who had been so zealous in his service; trimmed his fire and candles, and placed the easiest of the old arm-chairs in a convenient posture betwixt the fire and the table at which he had dined, and which now supported the measure of sack and the lights; and thus accompanying his studies with such luxurious appliances as were in his power, he began to examine the only volume with which the ducal library of Alsatia had been able to supply him.

Nigel grabbed the book and accepted the wine, thinking that having a glass or two—especially since it turned out to be good quality—would be a nice break from his studies. He dismissed the weary old servant who had been so eager to help him, expressing his gratitude and promising a reward. He adjusted his fire and candles and positioned the most comfortable of the old armchairs between the fire and the table where he had dined, which now held the wine and lights. With these little comforts to enhance his studies, he started to look through the only book the ducal library of Alsatia had been able to provide him.

The contents, though of a kind generally interesting, were not well calculated to dispel the gloom by which he was surrounded. The book was entitled “God's Revenge against Murther;” not, as the bibliomaniacal reader may easily conjecture, the work which Reynolds published under that imposing name, but one of a much earlier date, printed and sold by old Wolfe; and which, could a copy now be found, would sell for much more than its weight in gold.[Footnote: Only three copies are known to exist; one in the library at Kennaquhair, and two—one foxed and cropped, the other tall and in good condition—both in the possession of an eminent member of the Roxburghe Club.—Note by CAPTAIN CLUTTERBUCK.] Nigel had soon enough of the doleful tales which the book contains, and attempted one or two other modes of killing the evening. He looked out at window, but the night was rainy, with gusts of wind; he tried to coax the fire, but the fagots were green, and smoked without burning; and as he was naturally temperate, he felt his blood somewhat heated by the canary sack which he had already drank, and had no farther inclination to that pastime. He next attempted to compose a memorial addressed to the king, in which he set forth his case and his grievances; but, speedily stung with the idea that his supplication would be treated with scorn, he flung the scroll into the fire, and, in a sort of desperation, resumed the book which he had laid aside.

The content, while generally interesting, didn’t really help lift the gloom he was feeling. The book was called “God's Revenge against Murder;” not, as an obsessed reader might guess, the work that Reynolds published under that impressive title, but one from much earlier, printed and sold by old Wolfe; and if a copy could be found now, it would sell for a lot more than its weight in gold.[Footnote: Only three copies are known to exist; one in the library at Kennaquhair, and two—one is foxed and cropped, the other tall and in good condition—both owned by a distinguished member of the Roxburghe Club.—Note by CAPTAIN CLUTTERBUCK.] Nigel quickly grew tired of the sad stories the book contained and tried a couple of other ways to pass the evening. He looked out the window, but the night was rainy with gusts of wind; he tried to revive the fire, but the logs were green and just smoked without burning; and since he was naturally temperate, he felt a bit warm from the canary sack he’d already drunk and didn’t want any more. Next, he tried to write a letter to the king, detailing his situation and grievances; but, quickly overwhelmed by the thought that his plea would be ridiculed, he threw the paper into the fire and, in a sort of despair, picked up the book he had set aside.

Nigel became more interested in the volume at the second than at the first attempt which he made to peruse it. The narratives, strange and shocking as they were to human feeling, possessed yet the interest of sorcery or of fascination, which rivets the attention by its awakening horrors. Much was told of the strange and horrible acts of blood by which men, setting nature and humanity alike at defiance, had, for the thirst of revenge, the lust of gold, or the cravings of irregular ambition, broken into the tabernacle of life. Yet more surprising and mysterious tales were recounted of the mode in which such deeds of blood had come to be discovered and revenged. Animals, irrational animals, had told the secret, and birds of the air had carried the matter. The elements had seemed to betray the deed which had polluted them—earth had ceased to support the murderer's steps, fire to warm his frozen limbs, water to refresh his parched lips, air to relieve his gasping lungs. All, in short, bore evidence to the homicide's guilt. In other circumstances, the criminal's own awakened conscience pursued and brought him to justice; and in some narratives the grave was said to have yawned, that the ghost of the sufferer might call for revenge.

Nigel became more interested in the book during his second attempt to read it than he had during the first. The stories, strange and shocking to human emotions, still held a captivating quality that grabbed attention through its awakening horrors. It described the bizarre and horrifying acts of violence committed by individuals who defied nature and humanity alike, driven by revenge, greed, or uncontrolled ambition, who had invaded the sanctity of life. Even more astonishing and mysterious stories were shared about how these acts of violence were discovered and punished. Animals, seemingly irrational creatures, had revealed the secret, and birds had carried the news. The elements appeared to expose the crime that had tainted them—earth stopped supporting the murderer’s steps, fire failed to warm his chilled limbs, water refused to hydrate his dry lips, and air couldn’t ease his struggling breaths. In short, all testified to the killer's guilt. In other cases, the criminal's own awakened conscience hunted him down and brought him to justice; and in some stories, it was said the grave opened up so the victim's ghost could demand revenge.

It was now wearing late in the night, and the book was still in Nigel's hands, when the tapestry which hung behind him flapped against the wall, and the wind produced by its motion waved the flame of the candles by which he was reading. Nigel started and turned round, in that excited and irritated state of mind which arose from the nature of his studies, especially at a period when a certain degree of superstition was inculcated as a point of religious faith. It was not without emotion that he saw the bloodless countenance, meagre form, and ghastly aspect of old Trapbois, once more in the very act of extending his withered hand towards the table which supported his arms. Convinced by this untimely apparition that something evil was meditated towards him, Nigel sprung up, seized his sword, drew it, and placing it at the old man's breast, demanded of him what he did in his apartment at so untimely an hour. Trapbois showed neither fear nor surprise, and only answered by some imperfect expressions, intimating he would part with his life rather than with his property; and Lord Glenvarloch, strangely embarrassed, knew not what to think of the intruder's motives, and still less how to get rid of him. As he again tried the means of intimidation, he was surprised by a second apparition from behind the tapestry, in the person of the daughter of Trapbois, bearing a lamp in her hand. She also seemed to possess her father's insensibility to danger, for, coming close to Nigel, she pushed aside impetuously his naked sword, and even attempted to take it out of his hand.

It was late at night, and the book was still in Nigel's hands, when the tapestry behind him fluttered against the wall, and the wind from its movement flickered the flames of the candles he was reading by. Nigel jumped and turned around, feeling both excited and irritated, which came from the nature of his studies, especially during a time when a certain level of superstition was taught as a point of religious belief. He felt a rush of emotions as he saw the pale face, frail body, and eerie look of old Trapbois, who was once again reaching out with his withered hand towards the table where Nigel's arms rested. Convinced that this unexpected apparition meant him harm, Nigel sprang up, grabbed his sword, drew it, and pointed it at the old man's chest, demanding to know what he was doing in his room at such an inappropriate hour. Trapbois showed no fear or surprise and only replied with some vague expressions, indicating he would rather die than part with his possessions. Lord Glenvarloch, feeling strangely unsettled, didn't know what to make of the intruder's intentions, let alone how to get rid of him. As he attempted to intimidate Trapbois again, he was shocked by a second apparition from behind the tapestry: Trapbois's daughter, holding a lamp. She also seemed to share her father's indifference to danger, as she approached Nigel, forcefully pushed his sword aside, and even tried to take it from his hand.

“For shame,” she said, “your sword on a man of eighty years and more!-=this the honour of a Scottish gentleman!—give it to me to make a spindle of!”

“For shame,” she said, “your sword against a man who’s over eighty!—is this the honor of a Scottish gentleman?—give it to me so I can turn it into a spindle!”

“Stand back,” said Nigel; “I mean your father no injury—but I will know what has caused him to prowl this whole day, and even at this late hour of night, around my arms.”

“Step back,” said Nigel; “I don’t mean any harm to your father—but I need to find out why he’s been lurking around my place all day and even at this late hour.”

“Your arms!” repeated she; “alas! young man, the whole arms in the Tower of London are of little value to him, in comparison of this miserable piece of gold which I left this morning on the table of a young spendthrift, too careless to put what belonged to him into his own purse.”

“Your arms!” she repeated. “Oh no! Young man, all the arms in the Tower of London are worth very little to him compared to this worthless piece of gold that I left this morning on the table of a young wastrel, too careless to put his own belongings into his own purse.”

So saying, she showed the piece of gold, which, still remaining on the table, where she left it, had been the bait that attracted old Trapbois so frequently to the spot; and which, even in the silence of the night, had so dwelt on his imagination, that he had made use of a private passage long disused, to enter his guest's apartment, in order to possess himself of the treasure during his slumbers. He now exclaimed, at the highest tones of his cracked and feeble voice—

So saying, she displayed the gold piece, which was still sitting on the table where she had left it, the lure that had drawn old Trapbois to this place so often; and even in the quiet of the night, it had lingered in his thoughts so much that he had used an old, rarely used secret passage to sneak into his guest's room to get the treasure while he slept. He now shouted, in the loudest tones his cracked and weak voice could muster—

“It is mine—it is mine!—he gave it to me for a consideration—I will die ere I part with my property!”

“It’s mine—it’s mine!—he gave it to me in exchange—I’ll die before I give up my property!”

“It is indeed his own, mistress,” said Nigel, “and I do entreat you to restore it to the person on whom I have bestowed it, and let me have my apartment in quiet.”

“It’s really his, ma’am,” said Nigel, “and I kindly ask you to give it back to the person I gave it to, and let me have my room in peace.”

“I will account with you for it, then,”—said the maiden, reluctantly giving to her father the morsel of Mammon, on which he darted as if his bony fingers had been the talons of a hawk seizing its prey; and then making a contented muttering and mumbling, like an old dog after he has been fed, and just when he is wheeling himself thrice round for the purpose of lying down, he followed his daughter behind the tapestry, through a little sliding-door, which was perceived when the hangings were drawn apart.

“I’ll settle this with you then,” said the young woman, reluctantly handing her father the piece of money, which he grabbed as if his skinny fingers were the claws of a hawk catching its prey. Afterward, he made a satisfied grumbling sound, like an old dog after being fed, and just as he was turning around three times to lie down, he followed his daughter behind the tapestry, through a small sliding door that was revealed when the fabric was pulled apart.

“This shall be properly fastened to-morrow,” said the daughter to Nigel, speaking in such a tone that her father, deaf, and engrossed by his acquisition, could not hear her; “to-night I will continue to watch him closely.—I wish you good repose.”

“This will be properly secured tomorrow,” said the daughter to Nigel, speaking in a tone that her father, who was deaf and absorbed in his acquisition, couldn’t hear; “Tonight, I will keep a close eye on him. – I wish you a good rest.”

These few words, pronounced in a tone of more civility than she had yet made use of towards her lodger, contained a wish which was not to be accomplished, although her guest, presently after her departure, retired to bed.

These few words, spoken with more politeness than she had used with her tenant before, carried a wish that wouldn't be fulfilled, even though her guest soon went to bed after she left.

There was a slight fever in Nigel's blood, occasioned by the various events of the evening, which put him, as the phrase is, beside his rest. Perplexing and painful thoughts rolled on his mind like a troubled stream, and the more he laboured to lull himself to slumber, the farther he seemed from attaining his object. He tried all the resources common in such cases; kept counting from one to a thousand, until his head was giddy—he watched the embers of the wood fire till his eyes were dazzled—he listened to the dull moaning of the wind, the swinging and creaking of signs which projected from the houses, and the baying of here and there a homeless dog, till his very ear was weary.

Nigel felt a slight fever from the events of the evening that kept him restless. Confusing and painful thoughts swirled in his mind like a troubled stream, and the more he tried to fall asleep, the further away he seemed from his goal. He tried all the usual tricks for sleeplessness; he counted from one to a thousand until he felt dizzy—he stared at the glowing embers of the fire until his eyes hurt—he listened to the dull moan of the wind, the creaking of signs hanging from the buildings, and the occasional howl of a stray dog, until his ears were exhausted.

Suddenly, however, amid this monotony, came a sound which startled him at once. It was a female shriek. He sat up in his bed to listen, then remembered he was in Alsatia, where brawls of every sort were current among the unruly inhabitants. But another scream, and another, and another, succeeded so close, that he was certain, though the noise was remote and sounded stifled, it must be in the same house with himself.

Suddenly, though, in the middle of the dullness, a sound shocked him. It was a woman's scream. He sat up in bed to listen, then it hit him that he was in Alsatia, where fights of all kinds were common among the wild locals. But there was another scream, and another, and another, all so close together that he was certain, even though the noise was distant and muffled, it had to be in the same house as him.

Nigel jumped up hastily, put on a part of his clothes, seized his sword and pistols, and ran to the door of his chamber. Here he plainly heard the screams redoubled, and, as he thought, the sounds came from the usurer's apartment. All access to the gallery was effectually excluded by the intermediate door, which the brave young lord shook with eager, but vain impatience. But the secret passage occurred suddenly to his recollection. He hastened back to his room, and succeeded with some difficulty in lighting a candle, powerfully agitated by hearing the cries repeated, yet still more afraid lest they should sink into silence.

Nigel jumped up quickly, threw on some of his clothes, grabbed his sword and pistols, and ran to the door of his room. There, he clearly heard the screams getting louder, and he thought the sounds were coming from the usurer's apartment. The door between him and the gallery was firmly closed, and the brave young lord shook it with eager, but futile, impatience. But then he suddenly remembered the secret passage. He rushed back to his room and, struggling a bit, managed to light a candle, feeling extremely anxious as he heard the cries continue, yet even more terrified that they might suddenly stop.

He rushed along the narrow and winding entrance, guided by the noise, which now burst more wildly on his ear; and, while he descended a narrow staircase which terminated the passage, he heard the stifled voices of men, encouraging, as it seemed, each other. “D—n her, strike her down—silence her—beat her brains out!”—while the voice of his hostess, though now almost exhausted, was repeating the cry of “murder,” and “help.” At the bottom of the staircase was a small door, which gave way before Nigel as he precipitated himself upon the scene of action,—a cocked pistol in one hand, a candle in the other, and his naked sword under his arm.

He hurried down the narrow and twisting entrance, following the sounds that were now more intense in his ears. As he went down a steep staircase at the end of the passage, he heard muffled voices of men, who seemed to be encouraging each other. “Damn her, take her down—shut her up—beat her brains out!”—while his hostess's voice, though nearly exhausted, kept repeating cries of “murder” and “help.” At the bottom of the staircase was a small door, which swung open as Nigel rushed onto the scene—cocked pistol in one hand, candle in the other, and his bare sword tucked under his arm.

Two ruffians had, with great difficulty, overpowered, or, rather, were on the point of overpowering, the daughter of Trapbois, whose resistance appeared to have been most desperate, for the floor was covered with fragments of her clothes, and handfuls of her hair. It appeared that her life was about to be the price of her defence, for one villain had drawn a long clasp-knife, when they were surprised by the entrance of Nigel, who, as they turned towards him, shot the fellow with the knife dead on the spot, and when the other advanced to him, hurled the candlestick at his head, and then attacked him with his sword. It was dark, save some pale moonlight from the window; and the ruffian, after firing a pistol without effect, and fighting a traverse or two with his sword, lost heart, made for the window, leaped over it, and escaped. Nigel fired his remaining pistol after him at a venture, and then called for light.

Two thugs had, after a tough struggle, managed to overpower, or were about to overpower, Trapbois's daughter, whose fight seemed incredibly fierce, as the floor was strewn with torn pieces of her clothes and clumps of her hair. It looked like her life might be the cost of her defense, as one of the goons had pulled out a long knife. Just then, Nigel burst in on them, and as they turned towards him, he shot the knife-wielding thug dead on the spot. When the other thug came at him, he threw a candlestick at his head and then fought him with his sword. The room was dark, lit only by a dim moonlight coming through the window; the thug, after firing a pistol that missed, battled for a moment with his sword but then lost his nerve, ran for the window, jumped out, and escaped. Nigel fired his remaining pistol at him randomly as he fled and then called for light.

“There is light in the kitchen,” answered Martha Trapbois, with more presence of mind than could have been expected. “Stay, you know not the way; I will fetch it myself.—Oh! my father—my poor father!—I knew it would come to this—and all along of the accursed gold!—They have murdered him!”

“There’s light in the kitchen,” Martha Trapbois replied, showing more composure than anyone would have anticipated. “Stay here, you don’t know the way; I’ll get it myself.—Oh! my father—my poor father!—I knew it would come to this—and all because of the cursed gold!—They have murdered him!”










CHAPTER XXV

  Death finds us 'mid our playthings—snatches us,
  As a cross nurse might do a wayward child,
  From all our toys and baubles. His rough call
  Unlooses all our favourite ties on earth;
  And well if they are such as may be answer'd
  In yonder world, where all is judged of truly.
                                   Old Play.
  Death catches us while we're having fun—pulls us away,
  Like a strict nurse might grab a wayward child,
  From all our toys and trinkets. His harsh voice
  Breaks all our favorite connections here on earth;
  And it’s good if those ties can be responded to
  In that other world, where everything is judged fairly.
                                   Old Play.

It was a ghastly scene which opened, upon Martha Trapbois's return with a light. Her own haggard and austere features were exaggerated by all the desperation of grief, fear, and passion—but the latter was predominant. On the floor lay the body of the robber, who had expired without a groan, while his blood, flowing plentifully, had crimsoned all around. Another body lay also there, on which the unfortunate woman precipitated herself in agony, for it was that of her unhappy father. In the next moment she started up, and exclaiming—“There may be life yet!” strove to raise the body. Nigel went to her assistance, but not without a glance at the open window; which Martha, as acute as if undisturbed either by passion or terror, failed not to interpret justly.

It was a horrifying scene that unfolded when Martha Trapbois returned with a light. Her own tired and stern face was amplified by the overwhelming emotions of grief, fear, and passion—but the latter was the strongest. On the floor lay the body of the robber, who had died without a sound, as his blood flowed freely, staining the area around. Another body was also there, and the unfortunate woman threw herself on it in anguish, as it was her sad father. In the next moment, she jumped up, exclaiming, “There might still be life!” and attempted to lift the body. Nigel went to help her but not without casting a glance at the open window, which Martha, sharp as if unaffected by either emotion or fear, correctly interpreted.

“Fear not,” she cried, “fear not; they are base cowards, to whom courage is as much unknown as mercy. If I had had weapons, I could have defended myself against them without assistance or protection.—Oh! my poor father! protection comes too late for this cold and stiff corpse.—He is dead—dead!”

“Don’t be afraid,” she shouted, “don’t be afraid; they are pathetic cowards, completely unfamiliar with courage or mercy. If I had weapons, I could have stood up to them without any help or support.—Oh! my poor father! Help comes too late for this cold and lifeless body.—He is dead—dead!”

While she spoke, they were attempting to raise the dead body of the old miser; but it was evident, even from the feeling of the inactive weight and rigid joints, that life had forsaken her station. Nigel looked for a wound, but saw none. The daughter of the deceased, with more presence of mind than a daughter could at the time have been supposed capable of exerting, discovered the instrument of his murder—a sort of scarf, which had been drawn so tight round his throat, as to stifle his cries for assistance, in the first instance, and afterwards to extinguish life.

While she was speaking, they were trying to lift the dead body of the old miser; but it was clear, even from the feel of the heavy, stiff body, that life had left her. Nigel looked for an injury but found none. The deceased's daughter, showing more composure than one might expect from a daughter in such a moment, uncovered the weapon used to murder him—a type of scarf that had been pulled so tight around his neck that it silenced his cries for help at first, and then ultimately took his life.

She undid the fatal noose; and, laying the old man's body in the arms of Lord Glenvarloch, she ran for water, for spirits, for essences, in the vain hope that life might be only suspended. That hope proved indeed vain. She chafed his temples, raised his head, loosened his nightgown, (for it seemed as if he had arisen from bed upon hearing the entrance of the villains,) and, finally, opened, with difficulty, his fixed and closely-clenched hands, from one of which dropped a key, from the other the very piece of gold about which the unhappy man had been a little before so anxious, and which probably, in the impaired state of his mental faculties, he was disposed to defend with as desperate energy as if its amount had been necessary to his actual existence.

She untied the deadly noose and, placing the old man's body in Lord Glenvarloch's arms, she ran to get water, spirits, and essences, hoping against hope that life might just be on pause. That hope turned out to be useless. She rubbed his temples, lifted his head, loosened his nightgown (since it seemed like he had gotten out of bed upon hearing the villains enter), and finally, with great effort, pried open his stiff, tightly clenched hands. From one hand fell a key, and from the other the very gold piece that the poor man had been so anxious about just moments before, which he probably felt compelled to protect with desperate determination, as if it was crucial to his survival.

“It is in vain—it is in vain,” said the daughter, desisting from her fruitless attempts to recall the spirit which had been effectually dislodged, for the neck had been twisted by the violence of the murderers; “It is in vain—he is murdered—I always knew it would be thus; and now I witness it!”

“It’s pointless—it’s pointless,” said the daughter, giving up her useless efforts to bring back the spirit that had been completely forced out, as its neck had been twisted by the brutality of the murderers; “It’s pointless—he’s been murdered—I always knew it would end this way; and now I see it!”

She then snatched up the key and the piece of money, but it was only to dash them again on the floor, as she exclaimed, “Accursed be ye both, for you are the causes of this deed!”

She then grabbed the key and the coin, but quickly threw them back on the floor, crying out, “Cursed be you both, for you are the cause of this action!”

Nigel would have spoken—would have reminded her, that measures should be instantly taken for the pursuit of the murderer who had escaped, as well as for her own security against his return; but she interrupted him sharply.

Nigel would have spoken—would have reminded her that steps should be taken immediately to track down the murderer who had escaped, as well as to ensure her own safety against his return; but she cut him off abruptly.

“Be silent,” she said, “be silent. Think you, the thoughts of my own heart are not enough to distract me, and with such a sight as this before me? I say, be silent,” she said again, and in a yet sterner tone—“Can a daughter listen, and her father's murdered corpse lying on her knees?”

“Be quiet,” she said, “be quiet. Do you think my own thoughts aren’t enough to distract me, especially with a sight like this in front of me? I said, be quiet,” she repeated, in an even harsher tone—“Can a daughter listen, with her father's murdered body lying on her lap?”

Lord Glenvarloch, however overpowered by the energy of her grief, felt not the less the embarrassment of his own situation. He had discharged both his pistols—the robber might return—he had probably other assistants besides the man who had fallen, and it seemed to him, indeed, as if he had heard a muttering beneath the windows. He explained hastily to his companion the necessity of procuring ammunition.

Lord Glenvarloch, though overwhelmed by the intensity of her grief, still couldn’t ignore the awkwardness of his own situation. He had fired both of his pistols—the robber could come back—he likely had more people with him besides the man who had fallen, and it honestly felt like he had heard some mumbling outside the windows. He quickly explained to his companion the need to get more ammunition.

“You are right,” she said, somewhat contemptuously, “and have ventured already more than ever I expected of man. Go, and shift for yourself, since that is your purpose—leave me to my fate.”

“You're right,” she said, a bit scornfully, “and you've already done more than I ever expected from anyone. Go, and take care of yourself, since that's what you want—leave me to deal with my own fate.”

Without stopping for needless expostulation, Nigel hastened to his own room through the secret passage, furnished himself with the ammunition he sought for, and returned with the same celerity; wondering himself at the accuracy with which he achieved, in the dark, all the meanderings of the passage which he had traversed only once, and that in a moment of such violent agitation.

Without pausing for unnecessary explanations, Nigel quickly made his way to his room through the secret passage, gathered the ammunition he needed, and returned just as quickly; surprised at how accurately he managed to navigate the twists and turns of the passage, which he had only gone through once before, and that during a moment of intense agitation.

He found, on his return, the unfortunate woman standing like a statue by the body of her father, which she had laid straight on the floor, having covered the face with the skirt of his gown. She testified neither surprise nor pleasure at Nigel's return, but said to him calmly—“My moan is made—my sorrow—all the sorrow at least that man shall ever have noting of, is gone past; but I will have justice, and the base villain who murdered this poor defenceless old man, when he had not, by the course of nature, a twelvemonth's life in him, shall not cumber the earth long after him. Stranger, whom heaven has sent to forward the revenge reserved for this action, go to Hildebrod's—there they are awake all night in their revels—bid him come hither—he is bound by his duty, and dare not, and shall not, refuse his assistance, which he knows well I can reward. Why do ye tarry?—go instantly.”

He found, upon returning, the unfortunate woman standing like a statue by her father's body, which she had laid flat on the floor, covering his face with the hem of his gown. She showed neither surprise nor pleasure at Nigel's return, but calmly said to him, “My mourning is complete—my sadness—all the sadness that any man will ever know about—is behind me; but I will have justice, and the lowlife who murdered this poor defenseless old man, who had not, by the natural course of life, more than a year left, shall not linger on this earth long after him. Stranger, whom heaven has sent to assist with the revenge reserved for this act, go to Hildebrod's—they are awake all night in their celebrations—tell him to come here—he is obligated by his duty, and he cannot, and shall not, refuse his help, which he knows I can reward. Why do you hesitate?—go immediately.”

“I would,” said Nigel, “but I am fearful of leaving you alone; the villains may return, and—”

“I would,” said Nigel, “but I’m worried about leaving you by yourself; the bad guys might come back, and—”

“True, most true,” answered Martha, “he may return; and, though I care little for his murdering me, he may possess himself of what has most tempted him. Keep this key and this piece of gold; they are both of importance—defend your life if assailed, and if you kill the villain I will make you rich. I go myself to call for aid.”

“That's true,” Martha replied, “he might come back; and, while I’m not really worried about him killing me, he could take what he desires most. Keep this key and this piece of gold; both are important—protect yourself if you're attacked, and if you take out the villain, I’ll make you wealthy. I’m going to get help myself.”

Nigel would have remonstrated with her, but she had departed, and in a moment he heard the house-door clank behind her. For an instant he thought of following her; but upon recollection that the distance was but short betwixt the tavern of Hildebrod and the house of Trapbois, he concluded that she knew it better than he—incurred little danger in passing it, and that he would do well in the meanwhile to remain on the watch as she recommended.

Nigel would have argued with her, but she had already left, and a moment later he heard the front door slam behind her. For a second, he thought about going after her; but remembering that the distance between Hildebrod's tavern and Trapbois's house was short, he figured she knew it better than he did—she faced little danger in crossing it, and he would do well to stay on guard as she suggested.

It was no pleasant situation for one unused to such scenes to remain in the apartment with two dead bodies, recently those of living and breathing men, who had both, within the space of less than half an hour, suffered violent death; one of them by the hand of the assassin, the other, whose blood still continued to flow from the wound in his throat, and to flood all around him, by the spectator's own deed of violence, though of justice. He turned his face from those wretched relics of mortality with a feeling of disgust, mingled with superstition; and he found, when he had done so, that the consciousness of the presence of these ghastly objects, though unseen by him, rendered him more uncomfortable than even when he had his eyes fixed upon, and reflected by, the cold, staring, lifeless eyeballs of the deceased. Fancy also played her usual sport with him. He now thought he heard the well-worn damask nightgown of the deceased usurer rustle; anon, that he heard the slaughtered bravo draw up his leg, the boot scratching the floor as if he was about to rise; and again he deemed he heard the footsteps and the whisper of the returned ruffian under the window from which he had lately escaped. To face the last and most real danger, and to parry the terrors which the other class of feelings were like to impress upon him, Nigel went to the window, and was much cheered to observe the light of several torches illuminating the street, and followed, as the murmur of voices denoted, by a number of persons, armed, it would seem, with firelocks and halberds, and attendant on Hildebrod, who (not in his fantastic office of duke, but in that which he really possessed of bailiff of the liberty and sanctuary of Whitefriars) was on his way to inquire into the crime and its circumstances.

It was an uncomfortable situation for someone unfamiliar with such events to be in the apartment with two dead bodies, recently living men who had both suffered violent deaths in less than half an hour; one killed by an assassin, the other, whose blood was still flowing from the wound in his throat and pooling around him, by the spectator's own act of violence, though one of justice. He turned his face away from those pitiful remains with a feeling of disgust mixed with superstition; and he found that, after doing so, the awareness of the presence of these horrific objects, though unseen by him, made him more uneasy than when he had been staring at the cold, lifeless eyes of the deceased. His imagination also played tricks on him. He thought he heard the worn damask nightgown of the dead usurer rustle; then he thought he heard the slain thug move his leg, the boot scraping the floor as if he was about to rise; and again he imagined he heard the footsteps and whispers of the returned criminal outside the window he had recently escaped from. To confront the most real danger and fend off the fears that the other feelings might impose on him, Nigel went to the window and felt much more at ease when he saw the light of several torches illuminating the street, accompanied, as the murmuring voices indicated, by a group of people armed with guns and halberds, following Hildebrod, who was not in his fanciful role as duke, but in his actual role as bailiff of the liberty and sanctuary of Whitefriars, on his way to investigate the crime and its circumstances.

It was a strange and melancholy contrast to see these debauchees, disturbed in the very depth of their midnight revel, on their arrival at such a scene as this. They stared on each other, and on the bloody work before them, with lack-lustre eyes; staggered with uncertain steps over boards slippery with blood; their noisy brawling voices sunk into stammering whispers; and, with spirits quelled by what they saw, while their brains were still stupefied by the liquor which they had drunk, they seemed like men walking in their sleep.

It was a strange and sad contrast to see these party-goers, interrupted in the middle of their midnight celebration, confronted with a scene like this. They looked at each other and the bloodied chaos around them, their eyes dull. They stumbled uncertainly over blood-slicked boards, their noisy shouts fading into hesitant whispers. With their spirits crushed by what they witnessed and their minds still hazy from the alcohol they had consumed, they appeared like people walking in their sleep.

Old Hildebrod was an exception to the general condition. That seasoned cask, however full, was at all times capable of motion, when there occurred a motive sufficiently strong to set him a-rolling. He seemed much shocked at what he beheld, and his proceedings, in consequence, had more in them of regularity and propriety, than he might have been supposed capable of exhibiting upon any occasion whatever. The daughter was first examined, and stated, with wonderful accuracy and distinctness, the manner in which she had been alarmed with a noise of struggling and violence in her father's apartment, and that the more readily, because she was watching him on account of some alarm concerning his health. On her entrance, she had seen her father sinking under the strength of two men, upon whom she rushed with all the fury she was capable of. As their faces were blackened, and their figures disguised, she could not pretend, in the hurry of a moment so dreadfully agitating, to distinguish either of them as persons whom she had seen before. She remembered little more except the firing of shots, until she found herself alone with her guest, and saw that the ruffians had escaped. Lord Glenvarloch told his story as we have given it to the reader. The direct evidence thus received, Hildebrod examined the premises. He found that the villains had made their entrance by the window out of which the survivor had made his escape; yet it seemed singular that they should have done so, as it was secured with strong iron bars, which old Trapbois was in the habit of shutting with his own hand at nightfall. He minuted down with great accuracy, the state of every thing in the apartment, and examined carefully the features of the slain robber. He was dressed like a seaman of the lowest order, but his face was known to none present. Hildebrod next sent for an Alsatian surgeon, whose vices, undoing what his skill might have done for him, had consigned him to the wretched practice of this place. He made him examine the dead bodies, and make a proper declaration of the manner in which the sufferers seemed to have come by their end. The circumstances of the sash did not escape the learned judge, and having listened to all that could be heard or conjectured on the subject, and collected all particulars of evidence which appeared to bear on the bloody transaction, he commanded the door of the apartment to be locked until next morning; and carrying, the unfortunate daughter of the murdered man into the kitchen, where there was no one in presence but Lord Glenvarloch, he asked her gravely, whether she suspected no one in particular of having committed the deed.

Old Hildebrod was different from everyone else. That seasoned old man, no matter how overwhelmed he was, could always spring into action if there was a strong enough reason to get him moving. He looked very disturbed by what he saw, and as a result, his actions were more orderly and appropriate than anyone might have expected from him in any situation. The daughter was the first to be questioned. She described, with impressive clarity and detail, how she had been startled by sounds of struggle and violence coming from her father’s room. She was paying close attention because she was worried about his health. When she entered, she saw her father being overpowered by two men, and she charged at them with all her strength. Since the men’s faces were covered and their bodies disguised, she couldn’t recognize either of them in that horrifying moment. She remembered very little else except for gunfire until she found herself alone with her guest and realized the intruders had fled. Lord Glenvarloch recounted his story as we have shared it. Based on the evidence given, Hildebrod inspected the scene. He discovered that the intruders had entered through the window from which the survivor escaped, but it was odd that they would do this since it was secured with strong iron bars, which old Trapbois always locked himself at night. He carefully noted the condition of everything in the room and examined the features of the dead robber. The man was dressed like a lowly sailor, but no one there recognized him. Hildebrod then called for a surgeon from Alsace, whose faults had led him to the grim practice at this place, undoing any good his skills might have earned him. Hildebrod ordered him to examine the corpses and provide a clear account of how the victims appeared to have died. The details of the sash caught the learned judge’s attention, and after listening to everything that could be said or guessed about the situation and gathering all the evidence related to the gruesome event, he ordered the door to the room to be locked until the next morning. He then took the unfortunate daughter of the murdered man to the kitchen, where only Lord Glenvarloch was present, and asked her seriously if she suspected anyone in particular of committing the act.

“Do you suspect no one?” answered Martha, looking fixedly on him.

“Do you suspect no one?” Martha replied, staring intently at him.

“Perhaps, I may, mistress; but it is my part to ask questions, yours to answer them. That's the rule of the game.”

“Maybe, I can, ma'am; but it’s my job to ask questions and yours to answer them. That’s how it works.”

“Then I suspect him who wore yonder sash. Do not you know whom I mean?”

“Then I suspect the person wearing that sash over there. Don’t you know who I’m talking about?”

“Why, if you call on me for honours, I must needs say I have seen Captain Peppercull have one of such a fashion, and he was not a man to change his suits often.”

“Why, if you ask me about honors, I have to say I’ve seen Captain Peppercull have one like that, and he wasn’t the type to change his outfits often.”

“Send out, then,” said Martha, “and have him apprehended.”

"Send him out, then," Martha said, "and have him caught."

“If it is he, he will be far by this time; but I will communicate with the higher powers,” answered the judge.

“If it’s him, he’ll be long gone by now; but I’ll reach out to the higher authorities,” replied the judge.

“You would have him escape,” resumed she, fixing her eyes on him sternly.

“You want him to escape,” she continued, looking at him firmly.

“By cock and pie,” replied Hildebrod, “did it depend on me, the murdering cut-throat should hang as high as ever Haman did—but let me take my time. He has friends among us, that you wot well; and all that should assist me are as drunk as fiddlers.”

“By the rooster and pie,” replied Hildebrod, “if it were up to me, the murdering cut-throat would hang as high as Haman did—but let me take my time. He has friends among us, that you know well; and everyone who could help me is as drunk as fiddlers.”

“I will have revenge—I will have it,” repeated she; “and take heed you trifle not with me.”

“I will have revenge—I will have it,” she repeated; “and be careful not to mess with me.”

“Trifle! I would sooner trifle with a she-bear the minute after they had baited her. I tell you, mistress, be but patient, and we will have him. I know all his haunts, and he cannot forbear them long; and I will have trap-doors open for him. You cannot want justice, mistress, for you have the means to get it.”

“Seriously! I’d rather mess with a she-bear just after they've baited her. I’m telling you, just be patient, and we’ll catch him. I know all his usual spots, and he won’t be able to avoid them for long; I’ll make sure trap doors are ready for him. You can't be lacking in justice, because you have the means to achieve it.”

“They who help me in my revenge,” said Martha, “shall share those means.”

“They who assist me in my revenge,” said Martha, “will share in those resources.”

“Enough said,” replied Hildebrod; “and now I would have you go to my house, and get something hot—you will be but dreary here by yourself.”

“Enough said,” replied Hildebrod; “now I’d like you to go to my house and get something warm—you’ll just be miserable here alone.”

“I will send for the old char-woman,” replied Martha, “and we have the stranger gentleman, besides.”

“I'll call for the old cleaning lady,” replied Martha, “and we also have the unfamiliar gentleman.”

“Umph, umph—the stranger gentleman!” said Hildebrod to Nigel, whom he drew a little apart. “I fancy the captain has made the stranger gentleman's fortune when he was making a bold dash for his own. I can tell your honour—I must not say lordship—that I think my having chanced to give the greasy buff-and-iron scoundrel some hint of what I recommended to you to-day, has put him on this rough game. The better for you—you will get the cash without the father-in-law.—You will keep conditions, I trust?”

“Umph, umph—the stranger guy!” said Hildebrod to Nigel, pulling him aside a bit. “I think the captain made the stranger guy’s fortune while trying to secure his own. I can tell you, sir—I can’t say lordship—that I believe me giving the shady buff-and-iron scoundrel a hint about what I suggested to you today has set him off on this rough path. It’s better for you—you’ll get the money without the father-in-law. You’ll stick to the conditions, I hope?”

“I wish you had said nothing to any one of a scheme so absurd,” said Nigel.

“I wish you hadn’t said anything to anyone about such a ridiculous plan,” said Nigel.

“Absurd!—Why, think you she will not have thee? Take her with the tear in her eye, man—take her with the tear in her eye. Let me hear from you to-morrow. Good-night, good-night—a nod is as good as a wink. I must to my business of sealing and locking up. By the way, this horrid work has put all out of my head.—Here is a fellow from Mr. Lowestoffe has been asking to see you. As he said his business was express, the Senate only made him drink a couple of flagons, and he was just coming to beat up your quarters when this breeze blew up.—Ahey, friend! there is Master Nigel Grahame.”

“Absurd!—Why do you think she won't want you? Take her with tears in her eyes, man—take her with tears in her eyes. Let me hear from you tomorrow. Good night, good night—a nod is as good as a wink. I need to get back to my work of sealing and locking things up. By the way, this terrible job has made me forget everything.—There's a guy from Mr. Lowestoffe who’s been asking to see you. He said his business was urgent, so the Senate just made him drink a couple of flagons, and he was about to come to check on you when this situation came up.—Hey, friend! There’s Master Nigel Grahame.”

A young man, dressed in a green plush jerkin, with a badge on the sleeve, and having the appearance of a waterman, approached and took Nigel aside, while Duke Hildebrod went from place to place to exercise his authority, and to see the windows fastened, and the doors of the apartment locked up. The news communicated by Lowestoffe's messenger were not the most pleasant. They were intimated in a courteous whisper to Nigel, to the following effect:—That Master Lowestoffe prayed him to consult his safety by instantly leaving Whitefriars, for that a warrant from the Lord Chief-Justice had been issued out for apprehending him, and would be put in force to-morrow, by the assistance of a party of musketeers, a force which the Alsatians neither would nor dared to resist.

A young man, wearing a green velvet vest with a badge on the sleeve and looking like a waterman, approached and took Nigel aside, while Duke Hildebrod moved around to assert his authority and check that the windows were secured and the doors of the apartment were locked. The news brought by Lowestoffe's messenger was far from good. It was quietly whispered to Nigel, conveying that Master Lowestoffe urged him to ensure his safety by leaving Whitefriars immediately, as a warrant had been issued by the Lord Chief-Justice for his arrest, set to be enforced tomorrow with the help of a group of musketeers, a force the Alsatians neither would nor dared to oppose.

“And so, squire,” said the aquatic emissary, “my wherry is to wait you at the Temple Stairs yonder, at five this morning, and, if you would give the blood-hounds the slip, why, you may.”

“And so, squire,” said the water messenger, “my boat is waiting for you at the Temple Stairs over there, at five this morning, and if you want to avoid the guards, you can.”

“Why did not Master Lowestoffe write to me?” said Nigel.

“Why didn’t Master Lowestoffe write to me?” Nigel asked.

“Alas! the good gentleman lies up in lavender for it himself, and has as little to do with pen and ink as if he were a parson.”

“Unfortunately, the good gentleman is resting comfortably in bed for it himself, and has as little to do with pen and ink as if he were a priest.”

“Did he send any token to me?” said Nigel.

“Did he send me anything?” said Nigel.

“Token!—ay, marry did he—token enough, an I have not forgot it,” said the fellow; then, giving a hoist to the waistband of his breeches, he said,—“Ay, I have it—you were to believe me, because your name was written with an O, for Grahame. Ay, that was it, I think.—Well, shall we meet in two hours, when tide turns, and go down the river like a twelve-oared barge?”

“Token!—yeah, he definitely did—enough of a token, and I haven't forgotten it,” said the guy; then, adjusting the waistband of his pants, he said, “Yeah, I’ve got it—you were supposed to trust me because your name was written with an O, for Grahame. Yeah, that was it, I think. Well, shall we meet in two hours, when the tide turns, and go down the river like a twelve-oared boat?”

“Where is the king just now, knowest thou?” answered Lord Glenvarloch.

“Do you know where the king is right now?” replied Lord Glenvarloch.

“The king! why, he went down to Greenwich yesterday by water, like a noble sovereign as he is, who will always float where he can. He was to have hunted this week, but that purpose is broken, they say; and the Prince, and the Duke, and all of them at Greenwich, are as merry as minnows.”

“The king! Well, he took a boat to Greenwich yesterday like the noble leader he is, always going where he can. He was supposed to go hunting this week, but I've heard that's not happening anymore; and the Prince, the Duke, and everyone else in Greenwich are having a great time.”

“Well,” replied Nigel, “I will be ready to go at five; do thou come hither to carry my baggage.”

“Well,” replied Nigel, “I’ll be ready to go at five; you should come here to carry my baggage.”

“Ay, ay, master,” replied the fellow, and left the house mixing himself with the disorderly attendants of Duke Hildebrod, who were now retiring. That potentate entreated Nigel to make fast the doors behind him, and, pointing to the female who sat by the expiring fire with her limbs outstretched, like one whom the hand of Death had already arrested, he whispered, “Mind your hits, and mind your bargain, or I will cut your bow-string for you before you can draw it.”

“Yeah, yeah, boss,” the guy said, and left the house blending in with the unruly followers of Duke Hildebrod, who were now leaving. The duke asked Nigel to lock the doors behind him and, pointing to the woman sitting by the dying fire with her limbs stretched out, like someone already taken by Death, he whispered, “Watch what you're doing and stick to your deal, or I’ll cut your bowstring before you even have a chance to draw it.”

Feeling deeply the ineffable brutality which could recommend the prosecuting such views over a wretch in such a condition, Lord Glenvarloch yet commanded his temper so far as to receive the advice in silence, and attend to the former part of it, by barring the door carefully behind Duke Hildebrod and his suite, with the tacit hope that he should never again see or hear of them. He then returned to the kitchen, in which the unhappy woman remained, her hands still clenched, her eyes fixed, and her limbs extended, like those of a person in a trance. Much moved by her situation, and with the prospect which lay before her, he endeavoured to awaken her to existence by every means in his power, and at length apparently succeeded in dispelling her stupor, and attracting her attention. He then explained to her that he was in the act of leaving Whitefriars in a few hours—that his future destination was uncertain, but that he desired anxiously to know whether he could contribute to her protection by apprizing any friend of her situation, or otherwise. With some difficulty she seemed to comprehend his meaning, and thanked him with her usual short ungracious manner. “He might mean well,” she said, “but he ought to know that the miserable had no friends.”

Feeling the deep, indescribable cruelty that could justify pursuing such ideas against someone in her state, Lord Glenvarloch managed to keep his composure enough to absorb the advice silently. He focused on the first part by carefully closing the door behind Duke Hildebrod and his entourage, hoping he would never see or hear from them again. He then returned to the kitchen, where the distressed woman remained, her hands still clenched, eyes wide, and body stiff like someone in a trance. Moved by her predicament and the uncertain future ahead of her, he tried to bring her back to reality using every means he could think of and eventually seemed to break through her daze, gaining her attention. He explained that he was about to leave Whitefriars in a few hours, that his future plans were unclear, but he really wanted to know if he could help her by informing any friends about her situation or in some other way. After a bit of effort, she appeared to understand him, thanking him in her usual curt manner. “He might have good intentions,” she said, “but he should know that the miserable have no friends.”

Nigel said, “He would not willingly be importunate, but, as he was about to leave the Friars—” She interrupted him—

Nigel said, “He wouldn’t want to be pushy, but, as he was about to leave the Friars—” She cut him off—

“You are about to leave the Friars? I will go with you.”

“You're leaving the Friars? I’ll come with you.”

“You go with me!” exclaimed Lord Glenvarloch.

“You're coming with me!” exclaimed Lord Glenvarloch.

“Yes,” she said, “I will persuade my father to leave this murdering den.” But, as she spoke, the more perfect recollection of what had passed crowded on her mind. She hid her face in her hands, and burst out into a dreadful fit of sobs, moans, and lamentations, which terminated in hysterics, violent in proportion to the uncommon strength of her body and mind.

“Yes,” she said, “I’ll convince my dad to get out of this hellhole.” But as she spoke, the clearer memories of what had happened flooded her mind. She covered her face with her hands and broke down in a terrible fit of sobs, moans, and wails, which turned into hysterics, intense because of the unusual strength of her body and mind.

Lord Glenvarloch, shocked, confused, and inexperienced, was about to leave the house in quest of medical, or at least female assistance; but the patient, when the paroxysm had somewhat spent its force, held him fast by the sleeve with one hand, covering her face with the other, while a copious flood of tears came to relieve the emotions of grief by which she had been so violently agitated.

Lord Glenvarloch, shocked, confused, and inexperienced, was about to leave the house in search of medical help, or at least some female assistance; but the patient, after the worst of her episode had passed, grabbed his sleeve with one hand, covering her face with the other, while a flood of tears flowed down to ease the overwhelming grief she had felt.

“Do not leave me,” she said—“do not leave me, and call no one. I have never been in this way before, and would not now,” she said, sitting upright, and wiping her eyes with her apron,—“would not now—but that—but that he loved me. if he loved nothing else that was human—To die so, and by such hands!”

“Don’t leave me,” she said. “Please, don’t leave me, and don’t call anyone. I’ve never felt this way before, and wouldn’t want to now,” she said, sitting up straight and wiping her eyes with her apron, “I wouldn’t want to now—but that—but that he loved me. If he loved nothing else that was human—To die like this, and by such hands!”

And again the unhappy woman gave way to a paroxysm of sorrow, mingling her tears with sobbing, wailing, and all the abandonment of female grief, when at its utmost height. At length, she gradually recovered the austerity of her natural composure, and maintained it as if by a forcible exertion of resolution, repelling, as she spoke, the repeated returns of the hysterical affection, by such an effort as that by which epileptic patients are known to suspend the recurrence of their fits. Yet her mind, however resolved, could not so absolutely overcome the affection of her nerves, but that she was agitated by strong fits of trembling, which, for a minute or two at a time, shook her whole frame in a manner frightful to witness. Nigel forgot his own situation, and, indeed, every thing else, in the interest inspired by the unhappy woman before him—an interest which affected a proud spirit the more deeply, that she herself, with correspondent highness of mind, seemed determined to owe as little as possible either to the humanity or the pity of others.

And once again, the distressed woman broke into a fit of sorrow, mixing her tears with sobs, wails, and all the expressions of deep female grief at its peak. Eventually, she gradually regained her natural composure and held onto it, putting in a consistent effort to keep it, pushing away the return of her emotional breakdown, similar to how epileptic patients manage to suppress their seizures. Yet, despite her determination, her nerves still affected her, and she was shaken by intense bouts of trembling that would rattle her entire body in a way that was alarming to see. Nigel forgot about his own situation and everything else, completely captivated by the suffering woman in front of him—an interest that affected his proud spirit even more because she appeared determined to rely as little as possible on others’ humanity or sympathy.

“I am not wont to be in this way,” she said,—“but—but—Nature will have power over the frail beings it has made. Over you, sir, I have some right; for, without you, I had not survived this awful night. I wish your aid had been either earlier or later—but you have saved my life, and you are bound to assist in making it endurable to me.”

“I’m not usually like this,” she said, “but—but—Nature has power over the fragile beings it has created. I have some claim over you, sir, because without you, I wouldn’t have made it through this terrible night. I wish your help had come either sooner or later—but you saved my life, and now you owe it to me to help make it bearable.”

“If you will show me how it is possible,” answered Nigel.

“If you can show me how it works,” replied Nigel.

“You are going hence, you say, instantly—carry me with you,” said the unhappy woman. “By my own efforts, I shall never escape from this wilderness of guilt and misery.”

“You're leaving right now, you say—take me with you,” said the unhappy woman. “On my own, I’ll never get out of this wilderness of guilt and misery.”

“Alas! what can I do for you?” replied Nigel. “My own way, and I must not deviate from it, leads me, in all probability, to a dungeon. I might, indeed, transport you from hence with me, if you could afterwards bestow yourself with any friend.”

“Alas! what can I do for you?” replied Nigel. “My own path, and I can’t stray from it, likely leads me to a dungeon. I could, in fact, take you with me from here, if you can later find a friend to stay with.”

“Friend!” she exclaimed—“I have no friend—they have long since discarded us. A spectre arising from the dead were more welcome than I should be at the doors of those who have disclaimed us; and, if they were willing to restore their friendship to me now, I would despise it, because they withdrew it from him—from him”—(here she underwent strong but suppressed agitation, and then added firmly)—“from him who lies yonder.—I have no friend.” Here she paused; and then suddenly, as if recollecting herself, added, “I have no friend, but I have that will purchase many—I have that which will purchase both friends and avengers.—It is well thought of; I must not leave it for a prey to cheats and ruffians.—Stranger, you must return to yonder room. Pass through it boldly to his—that is, to the sleeping apartment; push the bedstead aside; beneath each of the posts is a brass plate, as if to support the weight, but it is that upon the left, nearest to the wall, which must serve your turn—press the corner of the plate, and it will spring up and show a keyhole, which this key will open. You will then lift a concealed trap-door, and in a cavity of the floor you will discover a small chest. Bring it hither; it shall accompany our journey, and it will be hard if the contents cannot purchase me a place of refuge.”

“Friend!” she exclaimed. “I have no friend—they’ve long since abandoned us. A ghost coming back from the dead would be more welcome than I would be at the doors of those who have rejected us; and if they were willing to be my friends again now, I would look down on it because they took it away from him—from him”—(here she showed intense but controlled emotion, and then added firmly)—“from him who lies over there. I have no friend.” She paused, and then suddenly, as if remembering something, she added, “I have no friend, but I have something that can buy many—I have something that can buy both friends and avengers. It’s highly valued; I must not leave it for cheats and thugs. Stranger, you must go back to that room. Go through it boldly to his—that is, to the sleeping room; push the bed aside; under each post, there’s a brass plate, as if to support the weight, but it’s the one on the left, closest to the wall, that you need—press the corner of the plate, and it will pop up to reveal a keyhole, which this key will open. Then you can lift a hidden trapdoor, and in a space in the floor, you’ll find a small chest. Bring it here; it will accompany us on our journey, and it would be hard if its contents can’t buy me a safe place.”

“But the door communicating with the kitchen has been locked by these people,” said Nigel.

“But the door leading to the kitchen has been locked by these people,” said Nigel.

“True, I had forgot; they had their reasons for that, doubtless,” answered she. “But the secret passage from your apartment is open, and you may go that way.”

“True, I forgot; they probably had their reasons for that,” she replied. “But the secret passage from your apartment is open, so you can go that way.”

Lord Glenvarloch took the key, and, as he lighted a lamp to show him the way, she read in his countenance some unwillingness to the task imposed.

Lord Glenvarloch took the key, and as he lit a lamp to show him the way, she saw some reluctance on his face about the task ahead.

“You fear?” said she—“there is no cause; the murderer and his victim are both at rest. Take courage, I will go with you myself—you cannot know the trick of the spring, and the chest will be too heavy for you.”

“You're afraid?” she said. “There's no reason to be; the murderer and his victim are both at peace. Be brave, I’ll go with you myself—you don’t know how to handle the spring, and the chest will be too heavy for you.”

“No fear, no fear,” answered Lord Glenvarloch, ashamed of the construction she put upon a momentary hesitation, arising from a dislike to look upon what is horrible, often connected with those high-wrought minds which are the last to fear what is merely dangerous—“I will do your errand as you desire; but for you, you must not—cannot go yonder.”

“No worries, no worries,” replied Lord Glenvarloch, embarrassed by her interpretation of a brief hesitation, which came from a reluctance to face something horrifying, often tied to those passionate individuals who are the last to be afraid of what’s just dangerous—“I’ll take care of your request as you wish; but for you, you must not—cannot go over there.”

“I can—I will,” she said. “I am composed. You shall see that I am so.” She took from the table a piece of unfinished sewing-work, and, with steadiness and composure, passed a silken thread into the eye of a fine needle.—“Could I have done that,” she said, with a smile yet more ghastly than her previous look of fixed despair, “had not my heart and hand been both steady?”

“I can—I will,” she said. “I’m calm. You’ll see that I am.” She picked up a piece of unfinished sewing from the table and, with focus and composure, threaded a delicate needle with a silk thread. “Could I have done that,” she said, with a smile even more unsettling than her earlier expression of despair, “if my heart and hand weren’t steady?”

She then led the way rapidly up stairs to Nigel's chamber, and proceeded through the secret passage with the same haste, as if she had feared her resolution might have failed her ere her purpose was executed. At the bottom of the stairs she paused a moment, before entering the fatal apartment, then hurried through with a rapid step to the sleeping chamber beyond, followed closely by Lord Glenvarloch, whose reluctance to approach the scene of butchery was altogether lost in the anxiety which he felt on account of the survivor of the tragedy.

She quickly led the way up the stairs to Nigel's room and hurried through the secret passage, as if she were afraid her courage might fail her before she fulfilled her purpose. At the bottom of the stairs, she paused for a moment before entering the deadly room, then swiftly walked to the bedroom beyond, closely followed by Lord Glenvarloch, whose reluctance to get closer to the bloody scene was completely overshadowed by his worry for the survivor of the tragedy.

Her first action was to pull aside the curtains of her father's bed. The bed-clothes were thrown aside in confusion, doubtless in the action of his starting from sleep to oppose the entrance of the villains into the next apartment. The hard mattress scarcely showed the slight pressure where the emaciated body of the old miser had been deposited. His daughter sank beside the bed, clasped her hands, and prayed to heaven, in a short and affectionate manner, for support in her affliction, and for vengeance on the villains who had made her fatherless. A low-muttered and still more brief petition recommended to Heaven the soul of the sufferer, and invoked pardon for his sins, in virtue of the great Christian atonement.

Her first move was to pull back the curtains of her father's bed. The bedcovers were tossed aside in a mess, likely from him waking up abruptly to fight off the intruders in the next room. The hard mattress barely showed the slight indent where the frail body of the old miser had lain. His daughter sank down next to the bed, clasped her hands, and prayed to heaven in a quick and heartfelt way for strength in her sorrow and for revenge on the thugs who had made her fatherless. A softly muttered and even shorter prayer commended the sufferer's soul to Heaven and sought forgiveness for his sins, based on the great Christian atonement.

This duty of piety performed, she signed to Nigel to aid her; and, having pushed aside the heavy bedstead, they saw the brass plate which Martha had described. She pressed the spring, and, at once, the plate starting up, showed the keyhole, and a large iron ring used in lifting the trap-door, which, when raised, displayed the strong box, or small chest, she had mentioned, and which proved indeed so very weighty, that it might perhaps have been scarcely possible for Nigel, though a very strong man, to have raised it without assistance.

This act of devotion done, she signaled to Nigel for help; and after moving the heavy bed frame, they spotted the brass plate that Martha had described. She pressed the spring, and immediately the plate popped up, revealing the keyhole and a large iron ring used to lift the trapdoor. When they raised it, they uncovered the strongbox, or small chest, she had mentioned, which turned out to be so heavy that it might have been nearly impossible for Nigel, despite being a very strong man, to lift it without assistance.

Having replaced everything as they had found it, Nigel, with such help as his companion was able to afford, assumed his load, and made a shift to carry it into the next apartment, where lay the miserable owner, insensible to sounds and circumstances, which, if any thing could have broken his long last slumber, would certainly have done so. His unfortunate daughter went up to his body, and had even the courage to remove the sheet which had been decently disposed over it. She put her hand on the heart, but there was no throb—held a feather to the lips, but there was no motion—then kissed with deep reverence the starting veins of the pale forehead, and then the emaciated hand.

Having put everything back as they found it, Nigel, with whatever help his companion could offer, picked up his load and tried to carry it into the next room, where the unfortunate owner lay, completely unaware of his surroundings and sounds that would have awakened anyone else from their deep sleep. His tragic daughter approached his body and even found the strength to lift the sheet that had been respectfully placed over him. She placed her hand on his heart, but there was no beat—held a feather to his lips, but there was no movement—then kissed the prominent veins of his pale forehead and then his thin hand with deep reverence.

“I would you could hear me,” she said,—“Father! I would you could hear me swear, that, if I now save what you most valued on earth, it is only to assist me in obtaining vengeance for your death.”

“I wish you could hear me,” she said, “Father! I wish you could hear me swear that if I save what you valued most on earth, it's only to help me get revenge for your death.”

She replaced the covering, and, without a tear, a sigh, or an additional word of any kind, renewed her efforts, until they conveyed the strong-box betwixt them into Lord Glenvarloch's sleeping apartment. “It must pass,” she said, “as part of your baggage. I will be in readiness so soon as the waterman calls.”

She put the cover back on and, without a tear, sigh, or any more words, kept working until they got the strongbox into Lord Glenvarloch's bedroom. "It has to go as part of your luggage," she said. "I'll be ready as soon as the boatman arrives."

She retired; and Lord Glenvarloch, who saw the hour of their departure approach, tore down a part of the old hanging to make a covering, which he corded upon the trunk, lest the peculiarity of its shape, and the care with which it was banded and counterbanded with bars of steel, might afford suspicions respecting the treasure which it contained. Having taken this measure of precaution, he changed the rascally disguise, which he had assumed on entering Whitefriars, into a suit becoming his quality, and then, unable to sleep, though exhausted with the events of the night, he threw himself on his bed to await the summons of the waterman.

She retired, and Lord Glenvarloch, who noticed that it was time to leave, ripped off a piece of the old hanging to use as a cover, which he secured to the trunk. He did this to avoid drawing attention to its unusual shape and the careful way it was strapped with bars of steel, which might raise suspicions about the treasure inside. After taking this precaution, he changed out of the shady disguise he had worn while in Whitefriars and put on a suit that suited his status. Then, despite being worn out from the night's events, he couldn't sleep, so he lay down on his bed to wait for the waterman’s call.










CHAPTER XXVI

  Give us good voyage, gentle stream—we stun not
  Thy sober ear with sounds of revelry;
  Wake not the slumbering echoes of thy banks
  With voice of flute and horn—we do but seek
  On the broad pathway of thy swelling bosom
  To glide in silent safety.
                             The Double Bridal.
  Give us a smooth journey, gentle stream—we won't disturb  
  your calm with noises of celebration;  
  Don't wake the sleeping echoes along your banks  
  with the sound of flute and horn—we just want  
  to glide in peaceful safety  
  on the wide path of your flowing surface.  
                             The Double Bridal.

Grey, or rather yellow light, was beginning to twinkle through the fogs of Whitefriars, when a low tap at the door of the unhappy miser announced to Lord Glenvarloch the summons of the boatman. He found at the door the man whom he had seen the night before, with a companion.

Grey, or more like yellow light, was starting to flicker through the fog of Whitefriars when a soft knock at the door of the miserable miser signaled to Lord Glenvarloch that the boatman was summoning him. He opened the door to find the same man he had seen the night before, along with a companion.

“Come, come, master, let us get afloat,” said one of them, in a rough impressive whisper, “time and tide wait for no man.”

“Come on, master, let’s get moving,” said one of them in a deep, serious whisper. “Time and tide wait for no one.”

“They shall not wait for me,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “but I have some things to carry with me.”

“They shouldn’t wait for me,” Lord Glenvarloch said, “but I have a few things to take with me.”

“Ay, ay—no man will take a pair of oars now, Jack, unless he means to load the wherry like a six-horse waggon. When they don't want to shift the whole kitt, they take a sculler, and be d—d to them. Come, come, where be your rattle-traps?”

“Ay, ay—no one is going to grab a pair of oars now, Jack, unless they're planning to load the boat like a six-horse wagon. When they don't want to move everything, they just hire a rower, and to hell with them. Come on, where are your clunky gadgets?”

One of the men was soon sufficiently loaded, in his own estimation at least, with Lord Glenvarloch's mail and its accompaniments, with which burden he began to trudge towards the Temple Stairs. His comrade, who seemed the principal, began to handle the trunk which contained the miser's treasure, but pitched it down again in an instant, declaring, with a great oath, that it was as reasonable to expect a man to carry Paul's on his back. The daughter of Trapbois, who had by this time joined them, muffled up in a long dark hood and mantle, exclaimed to Lord Glenvarloch—“Let them leave it if they will, let them leave it all; let us but escape from this horrible place.”

One of the men quickly decided he had enough of Lord Glenvarloch's mail and its contents, and he started making his way toward the Temple Stairs. His partner, who seemed to be in charge, tried to lift the trunk that held the miser's wealth but dropped it again immediately, swearing that it was just as crazy to expect a man to carry it as to expect him to carry St. Paul's Cathedral on his back. By this time, Trapbois's daughter had joined them, wrapped in a long dark hood and cloak, and said to Lord Glenvarloch, “Let them leave it if they want; let them leave it all. We just need to get away from this terrible place.”

We have mentioned elsewhere, that Nigel was a very athletic young man, and, impelled by a strong feeling of compassion and indignation, he showed his bodily strength singularly on this occasion, by seizing on the ponderous strong-box, and, by means of the rope he had cast around it, throwing it on his shoulders, and marching resolutely forward under a weight, which would have sunk to the earth three young gallants, at the least, of our degenerate day. The waterman followed him in amazement, calling out, “Why, master, master, you might as well gie me t'other end on't!” and anon offered his assistance to support it in some degree behind, which after the first minute or two Nigel was fain to accept. His strength was almost exhausted when he reached the wherry, which was lying at the Temple Stairs according to appointment; and, when he pitched the trunk into it, the weight sank the bow of the boat so low in the water as well-nigh to overset it.

We have mentioned before that Nigel was a very athletic young man, and driven by a strong sense of compassion and anger, he displayed his physical strength remarkably on this occasion by grabbing the heavy strong-box and, using the rope he had tied around it, throwing it over his shoulders and marching determinedly forward with a load that would have brought down at least three young men of our weaker generation. The waterman followed him in disbelief, shouting, “Hey, master, master, you might as well let me take the other end!” and soon offered to help support it from behind, which after a minute or two, Nigel was glad to accept. His strength was nearly gone when he reached the wherry, which was waiting at the Temple Stairs as planned; and when he tossed the trunk into it, the weight nearly sunk the bow of the boat so low in the water that it almost capsized.

“We shall have as hard a fare of it,” said the waterman to his companion, “as if we were ferrying over an honest bankrupt with all his secreted goods—Ho, ho! good woman, what, are you stepping in for?—our gunwale lies deep enough in the water without live lumber to boot.”

“We're going to have a tough time with this,” the waterman said to his companion, “as if we were ferrying an honest bankrupt with all his hidden valuables—Hey, lady, what are you getting in for?—our boat is already sitting low in the water without adding more weight.”

“This person comes with me,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “she is for the present under my protection.”

“This person is with me,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “she is currently under my protection.”

“Come, come, master,” rejoined the fellow, “that is out of my commission. You must not double my freight on me—she may go by land—and, as for protection, her face will protect her from Berwick to the Land's End.”

“Come on, boss,” the guy replied, “that's beyond my job. You can't charge me double—she can go by land—and as for safety, her looks will keep her safe from Berwick to Land's End.”

“You will not except at my doubling the loading, if I double the fare?” said Nigel, determined on no account to relinquish the protection of this unhappy woman, for which he had already devised some sort of plan, likely now to be baffled by the characteristic rudeness of the Thames watermen.

“You won’t agree to my increasing the load unless I also double the fare?” said Nigel, determined to not let go of protecting this troubled woman, for whom he had already come up with some sort of plan, which was now likely to be disrupted by the usual rudeness of the Thames watermen.

“Ay, by G——, but I will except, though,” said the fellow with the green plush jacket: “I will overload my wherry neither for love nor money—I love my boat as well as my wife, and a thought better.”

“Yeah, by G——, but I will make an exception, though,” said the guy in the green plush jacket. “I won’t overload my boat for love or money—I love my boat just as much as my wife, maybe even a bit more.”

“Nay, nay, comrade,” said his mate, “that is speaking no true water language. For double fare we are bound to row a witch in her eggshell if she bid us; and so pull away, Jack, and let us have no more prating.”

“Come on, buddy,” said his friend, “that’s not the right way to talk. For double the pay, we have to row a witch in her eggshell if she asks us to; so let’s go, Jack, and stop the chatter.”

They got into the stream-way accordingly, and, although heavily laden, began to move down the river with reasonable speed.

They got into the stream and, although heavily loaded, started to move down the river at a decent speed.

The lighter vessels which passed, overtook, or crossed them, in their course, failed not to assail them with their boisterous raillery, which was then called water-wit; for which the extreme plainness of Mistress Martha's features, contrasted with the youth, handsome figure, and good looks of Nigel, furnished the principal topics; while the circumstance of the boat being somewhat overloaded, did not escape their notice. They were hailed successively, as a grocer's wife upon a party of pleasure with her eldest apprentice—as an old woman carrying her grandson to school—and as a young strapping Irishman, conveying an ancient maiden to Dr. Rigmarole's, at Redriffe, who buckles beggars for a tester and a dram of Geneva. All this abuse was retorted in a similar strain of humour by Greenjacket and his companion, who maintained the war of wit with the same alacrity with which they were assailed.

The smaller boats that passed by, overtook, or crossed their path didn’t hold back in mocking them with their loud jokes, which back then was called water-wit. The stark contrast between Mistress Martha's plain looks and Nigel's youth, good build, and handsome face provided plenty of material for their teasing, especially since the boat was a bit overloaded. They were greeted with comments like those aimed at a grocer's wife out for a good time with her oldest apprentice, an old lady taking her grandson to school, and a strong young Irishman bringing an old maid to Dr. Rigmarole's in Redriffe, where he helps beggars for a few coins and some gin. Greenjacket and his friend shot back with their own humorous replies, matching the light-hearted banter with equal enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, Lord Glenvarloch asked his desolate companion if she had thought on any place where she could remain in safety with her property. She confessed, in more detail than formerly, that her father's character had left her no friends; and that, from the time he had betaken himself to Whitefriars, to escape certain legal consequences of his eager pursuit of gain, she had lived a life of total seclusion; not associating with the society which the place afforded, and, by her residence there, as well as her father's parsimony, effectually cut off from all other company. What she now wished, was, in the first place, to obtain the shelter of a decent lodging, and the countenance of honest people, however low in life, until she should obtain legal advice as to the mode of obtaining justice on her father's murderer. She had no hesitation to charge the guilt upon Colepepper, (commonly called Peppercull,) whom she knew to be as capable of any act of treacherous cruelty, as he was cowardly, where actual manhood was required. He had been strongly suspected of two robberies before, one of which was coupled with an atrocious murder. He had, she intimated, made pretensions to her hand as the easiest and safest way of obtaining possession of her father's wealth; and, on her refusing his addresses, if they could be termed so, in the most positive terms, he had thrown out such obscure hints of vengeance, as, joined with some imperfect assaults upon the house, had kept her in frequent alarm, both on her father's account and her own.

Meanwhile, Lord Glenvarloch asked his lonely companion if she had thought of any place where she could stay safely with her belongings. She admitted, more openly than before, that her father's reputation had left her without friends; and since he had gone to Whitefriars to escape certain legal issues from his relentless pursuit of wealth, she had lived in complete isolation, avoiding the local society and, due to her father's stinginess and their location, effectively cut off from any other company. What she desired now was, first and foremost, to find a decent place to stay and the support of honest people, no matter how low their status, until she could get legal advice on how to seek justice for her father's murder. She was certain that Colepepper, commonly known as Peppercull, was guilty, as he was more than capable of any cruel act and cowardly when it came to actual bravery. He had been strongly suspected of two robberies before, one of which involved a horrific murder. She suggested that he had pretended to want to marry her as an easy way to gain control of her father's wealth; and when she firmly rejected his advances, if they could even be called that, he had made vague threats of revenge, along with some half-hearted attacks on her home, keeping her on edge about both her father's safety and her own.

Nigel, but that his feeling of respectful delicacy to the unfortunate woman forebade him to do so, could here have communicated a circumstance corroborative of her suspicions, which had already occurred to his own mind. He recollected the hint that old Hildebrod threw forth on the preceding night, that some communication betwixt himself and Colepepper had hastened the catastrophe. As this communication related to the plan which Hildebrod had been pleased to form, of promoting a marriage betwixt Nigel himself and the rich heiress of Trapbois, the fear of losing an opportunity not to be regained, together with the mean malignity of a low-bred ruffian, disappointed in a favourite scheme, was most likely to instigate the bravo to the deed of violence which had been committed. The reflection that his own name was in some degree implicated with the causes of this horrid tragedy, doubled Lord Glenvarloch's anxiety in behalf of the victim whom he had rescued, while at the same time he formed the tacit resolution, that, so soon as his own affairs were put upon some footing, he would contribute all in his power towards the investigation of this bloody affair.

Nigel, if not for his feeling of respectful delicacy toward the unfortunate woman, could have shared a detail that supported her suspicions, which had already crossed his mind. He recalled the hint that old Hildebrod dropped the night before, suggesting that some communication between him and Colepepper had accelerated the disaster. Since this communication involved Hildebrod's plan to arrange a marriage between Nigel and the wealthy heiress of Trapbois, the fear of losing an irreplaceable opportunity, coupled with the petty malice of a low-class thug thwarted in his favorite scheme, was likely what drove the violent act that had taken place. The realization that his own name was somewhat connected to the causes of this horrific tragedy increased Lord Glenvarloch's concern for the victim he had saved, while at the same time he quietly resolved that as soon as his own situation was stable, he would do everything he could to help investigate this bloody affair.

After ascertaining from his companion that she could form no better plan of her own, he recommended to her to take up her lodging for the time, at the house of his old landlord, Christie the ship-chandler, at Paul's Wharf, describing the decency and honesty of that worthy couple, and expressing his hopes that they would receive her into their own house, or recommend her at least to that of some person for whom they would be responsible, until she should have time to enter upon other arrangements for herself.

After confirming with his companion that she didn’t have a better plan, he suggested that she stay temporarily at the home of his old landlord, Christie the ship-chandler, at Paul's Wharf. He described the decency and honesty of that respectable couple and expressed his hopes that they would welcome her into their own home, or at least recommend her to someone they would vouch for, until she had time to make other arrangements for herself.

The poor woman received advice so grateful to her in her desolate condition, with an expression of thanks, brief indeed, but deeper than any thing had yet extracted from the austerity of her natural disposition.

The poor woman found the advice incredibly helpful in her bleak situation, and though her expression of thanks was short, it was more sincere than anything that had come from her usually serious nature.

Lord Glenvarloch then proceeded to inform Martha, that certain reasons, connected with his personal safety, called him immediately to Greenwich, and, therefore, it would not be in his power to accompany her to Christie's house, which he would otherwise have done with pleasure: but, tearing a leaf from his tablet, he wrote on it a few lines, addressed to his landlord, as a man of honesty and humanity, in which he described the bearer as a person who stood in singular necessity of temporary protection and good advice, for which her circumstances enabled her to make ample acknowledgment. He therefore requested John Christie, as his old and good friend, to afford her the shelter of his roof for a short time; or, if that might not be consistent with his convenience, at least to direct her to a proper lodging-and, finally, he imposed on him the additional, and somewhat more difficult commission, to recommend her to the counsel and services of an honest, at least a reputable and skilful attorney, for the transacting some law business of importance. The note he subscribed with his real name, and, delivering it to his protegee, who received it with another deeply uttered “I thank you,” which spoke the sterling feelings of her gratitude better than a thousand combined phrases, he commanded the watermen to pull in for Paul's Wharf, which they were now approaching.

Lord Glenvarloch then told Martha that he needed to go to Greenwich right away for personal safety reasons, so he couldn’t accompany her to Christie's house, which he would have loved to do. However, he tore a page from his notebook and wrote a quick note to his landlord, addressing him as a man of integrity and kindness. In the note, he described the bearer as someone in urgent need of temporary protection and advice, which she was able to properly compensate for. He requested John Christie, his old and good friend, to give her shelter for a little while; if that wasn't possible, to at least guide her to a suitable place to stay. Lastly, he asked him to recommend a trustworthy and competent lawyer to help her with some important legal matters. He signed the note with his real name and handed it to his protegee, who accepted it with a heartfelt “I thank you," expressing her gratitude more eloquently than words could. He then instructed the watermen to head for Paul's Wharf, which was now in sight.

“We have not time,” said Green-jacket; “we cannot be stopping every instant.”

“We don’t have time,” said Green-jacket; “we can’t keep stopping every moment.”

But, upon Nigel insisting upon his commands being obeyed, and adding, that it was for the purpose of putting the lady ashore, the waterman declared that he would rather have her room than her company, and put the wherry alongside the wharf accordingly. Here two of the porters, who ply in such places, were easily induced to undertake the charge of the ponderous strong-box, and at the same time to guide the owner to the well-known mansion of John Christie, with whom all who lived in that neighbourhood were perfectly acquainted.

But when Nigel insisted that his orders be followed, explaining it was to get the lady off the boat, the waterman responded that he preferred her absence to her presence and brought the small boat up to the dock. There, two porters, who worked in the area, readily agreed to handle the heavy strong-box and also to direct the owner to the well-known home of John Christie, a place familiar to everyone in that neighborhood.

The boat, much lightened of its load, went down the Thames at a rate increased in proportion. But we must forbear to pursue her in her voyage for a few minutes, since we have previously to mention the issue of Lord Glenvarloch's recommendation.

The boat, significantly lighter, cruised down the Thames at a faster pace. However, we need to pause our focus on her journey for a moment, as we first have to discuss the outcome of Lord Glenvarloch's recommendation.

Mistress Martha Trapbois reached the shop in perfect safety, and was about to enter it, when a sickening sense of the uncertainty of her situation, and of the singularly painful task of telling her story, came over her so strongly, that she paused a moment at the very threshold of her proposed place of refuge, to think in what manner she could best second the recommendation of the friend whom Providence had raised up to her. Had she possessed that knowledge of the world, from which her habits of life had completely excluded her, she might have known that the large sum of money which she brought along with her, might, judiciously managed, have been a passport to her into the mansions of nobles, and the palaces of princes. But, however conscious of its general power, which assumes so many forms and complexions, she was so inexperienced as to be most unnecessarily afraid that the means by which the wealth had been acquired, might exclude its inheretrix from shelter even in the house of a humble tradesman.

Mistress Martha Trapbois arrived at the shop safely and was about to walk in when a nauseating sense of uncertainty about her situation and the awkwardness of sharing her story hit her so strongly that she paused at the entrance, trying to figure out how best to follow the advice of the friend that fate had brought to her. If she had had a better understanding of the world, which her lifestyle had completely shielded her from, she might have realized that the large sum of money she had with her could have, if managed wisely, opened doors to the homes of nobility and royal palaces. However, despite being aware of its general influence that can take many forms, she was so inexperienced that she was unnecessarily worried that the way she had acquired her wealth might prevent her from finding refuge even in the home of a humble shopkeeper.

While she thus delayed, a more reasonable cause for hesitation arose, in a considerable noise and altercation within the house, which grew louder and louder as the disputants issued forth upon the street or lane before the door.

While she was stalling, a more sensible reason for her hesitation came up, with a considerable amount of noise and arguing coming from inside the house. The noise got louder and louder as the people arguing came out onto the street or lane in front of the door.

The first who entered upon the scene was a tall raw-boned hard-favoured man, who stalked out of the shop hastily, with a gait like that of a Spaniard in a passion, who, disdaining to add speed to his locomotion by running, only condescends, in the utmost extremity of his angry haste, to add length to his stride. He faced about, so soon as he was out of the house, upon his pursuer, a decent-looking, elderly, plain tradesman—no other than John Christie himself, the owner of the shop and tenement, by whom he seemed to be followed, and who was in a state of agitation more than is usually expressed by such a person.

The first person to come onto the scene was a tall, skinny, tough-looking man who hurried out of the shop with a strut like a furious Spaniard. Instead of running, he only stretched his stride to add some length to his pace in his anger. As soon as he was outside, he turned to confront his pursuer, an ordinary-looking, older tradesman—none other than John Christie himself, the owner of the shop and building. He seemed to be following him and was visibly more agitated than one would typically expect from someone like him.

“I'll hear no more on't,” said the personage who first appeared on the scene.—“Sir, I will hear no more on it. Besides being a most false and impudent figment, as I can testify—it is Scandaalum Magnaatum, sir—Scandaalum Magnaatum” he reiterated with a broad accentuation of the first vowel, well known in the colleges of Edinburgh and Glasgow, which we can only express in print by doubling the said first of letters and of vowels, and which would have cheered the cockles of the reigning monarch had he been within hearing,—as he was a severer stickler for what he deemed the genuine pronunciation of the Roman tongue, than for any of the royal prerogatives, for which he was at times disposed to insist so strenuously in his speeches to Parliament.

“I don’t want to hear any more about it,” said the person who first showed up. “Sir, I won’t hear anything more on the subject. Not only is it a complete lie and a bold-faced fabrication, as I can confirm—it is Scandaalum Magnaatum, sir—Scandaalum Magnaatum,” he repeated, placing heavy emphasis on the first vowel, a way of speaking well-known in the colleges of Edinburgh and Glasgow, which we can only convey in print by doubling that first letter and vowel. This would have delighted the reigning monarch if he had been listening, as he was a strict enforcer of what he considered the true pronunciation of the Latin language, more so than any of the royal privileges, which he sometimes insisted on passionately in his speeches to Parliament.

“I care not an ounce of rotten cheese,” said John Christie in reply, “what you call it—but it is TRUE; and I am a free Englishman, and have right to speak the truth in my own concerns; and your master is little better than a villain, and you no more than a swaggering coxcomb, whose head I will presently break, as I have known it well broken before on lighter occasion.”

“I don’t care one bit about what you call it,” John Christie replied, “but it’s TRUE; and I’m a free Englishman, and I have the right to speak the truth about my own matters; your master is barely any better than a villain, and you’re nothing more than a cocky braggart, whose head I will gladly break, just like I’ve done before for less reason.”

And, so saying, he flourished the paring-shovel which usually made clean the steps of his little shop, and which he had caught up as the readiest weapon of working his foeman damage, and advanced therewith upon him. The cautious Scot (for such our readers must have already pronounced him, from his language and pedantry) drew back as the enraged ship-chandler approached, but in a surly manner, and bearing his hand on his sword-hilt rather in the act of one who was losing habitual forbearance and caution of deportment, than as alarmed by the attack of an antagonist inferior to himself in youth, strength, and weapons.

And, saying that, he waved the paring shovel that usually kept the steps of his little shop clean, which he had grabbed as the quickest way to hit his enemy, and moved toward him with it. The cautious Scot (as our readers have likely figured out by now from his language and pretentiousness) stepped back as the angry ship-chandler approached, but not in a friendly way, keeping his hand on the hilt of his sword more like someone losing their usual restraint and caution than someone scared of an opponent who was younger, stronger, and less armed than him.

“Bide back,” he said, “Maister Christie—I say bide back, and consult your safety, man. I have evited striking you in your ain house under muckle provocation, because I am ignorant how the laws here may pronounce respecting burglary and hamesucken, and such matters; and, besides, I would not willingly hurt ye, man, e'en on the causeway, that is free to us baith, because I mind your kindness of lang syne, and partly consider ye as a poor deceived creature. But deil d—n me, sir, and I am not wont to swear, but if you touch my Scotch shouther with that shule of yours, I will make six inches of my Andrew Ferrara deevilish intimate with your guts, neighbour.”

“Step back,” he said, “Mr. Christie—I’m telling you to step back and think about your safety, man. I’ve avoided hitting you in your own home despite a lot of provocation because I don’t know how the laws here view things like burglary and home invasion, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to hurt you, even in a place we both have a right to be, because I remember your past kindness and see you as a misguided soul. But damn me, sir, and I don’t usually swear, but if you touch my shoulder with that shovel of yours, I’ll make sure my Andrew Ferrara knife gets very familiar with your guts, neighbor.”

And therewithal, though still retreating from the brandished shovel, he made one-third of the basket-hilled broadsword which he wore, visible from the sheath. The wrath of John Christie was abated, either by his natural temperance of disposition, or perhaps in part by the glimmer of cold steel, which flashed on him from his adversary's last action.

And with that, even while pulling back from the raised shovel, he revealed a third of the broad sword he wore, sticking out from the sheath. John Christie's anger lessened, either because of his naturally calm nature, or maybe partly because of the glint of cold steel that flashed from his opponent's last move.

“I would do well to cry clubs on thee, and have thee ducked at the wharf,” he said, grounding his shovel, however, at the same time, “for a paltry swaggerer, that would draw thy bit of iron there on an honest citizen before his own door; but get thee gone, and reckon on a salt eel for thy supper, if thou shouldst ever come near my house again. I wish it had been at the bottom of the Thames when it first gave the use of its roof to smooth-faced, oily-tongued, double-minded Scots thieves!”

“I should just cry for help and have you tossed in the water,” he said, putting down his shovel at the same time, “for a pathetic show-off who would pull a sword on an honest citizen right outside his door; but get out of here, and expect to have a salted eel for dinner if you ever come near my house again. I wish it had sunk to the bottom of the Thames when it first gave its roof to smooth-faced, slick-talking, two-faced Scottish thieves!”

“It's an ill bird that fouls its own nest,” replied his adversary, not perhaps the less bold that he saw matters were taking the turn of a pacific debate; “and a pity it is that a kindly Scot should ever have married in foreign parts, and given life to a purse-proud, pudding-headed, fat-gutted, lean-brained Southron, e'en such as you, Maister Christie. But fare ye weel—fare ye weel, for ever and a day; and, if you quarrel wi' a Scot again, man, say as mickle ill o' himsell as ye like, but say nane of his patron or of his countrymen, or it will scarce be your flat cap that will keep your lang lugs from the sharp abridgement of a Highland whinger, man.”

“It's a messed-up bird that dirties its own nest,” replied his opponent, not perhaps any less bold seeing that the conversation was shifting towards a peaceful debate; “and it’s a shame that a good-hearted Scot ever married abroad and brought into the world a proud, clueless, gluttonous, dimwitted Southerner, just like you, Mr. Christie. But take care—take care, forever and always; and if you get into a fight with a Scot again, buddy, say whatever terrible things you want about him, but don’t insult his patron or his fellow countrymen, or it won’t just be your flat cap that protects your big ears from the sharp point of a Highland dagger, man.”

“And, if you continue your insolence to me before my own door, were it but two minutes longer,” retorted John Christie, “I will call the constable, and make your Scottish ankles acquainted with an English pair of stocks!”

“And if you keep being disrespectful to me right in front of my door, even for just two more minutes,” John Christie shot back, “I’ll call the police and have your Scottish ankles meet an English set of stocks!”

So saying, he turned to retire into his shop with some show of victory; for his enemy, whatever might be his innate valour, manifested no desire to drive matters to extremity—conscious, perhaps, that whatever advantage he might gain in single combat with Jonn Christie, would be more than overbalanced by incurring an affair with the constituted authorities of Old England, not at that time apt to be particularly favourable to their new fellow-subjects, in the various successive broils which were then constantly taking place between the individuals of two proud nations, who still retained a stronger sense of their national animosity during centuries, than of their late union for a few years under the government of the same prince.

So saying, he turned to head back to his shop, feeling somewhat victorious; his opponent, no matter how brave he might be, showed no interest in escalating things—perhaps realizing that any advantage he might gain in a one-on-one fight with Jonn Christie would be outweighed by the trouble he’d get into with the authorities in Old England, who at that time were not really inclined to be sympathetic towards their new fellow subjects. This was during a period of ongoing conflicts between two proud nations, both of which held onto their historic animosities much more strongly than they did the recent unity under the same ruler.

Mrs. Martha Trapbois had dwelt too long in Alsatia, to be either surprised or terrified at the altercation she had witnessed. Indeed, she only wondered that the debate did not end in some of those acts of violence by which they were usually terminated in the Sanctuary. As the disputants separated from each other, she, who had no idea that the cause of the quarrel was more deeply rooted than in the daily scenes of the same nature which she had heard of or witnessed, did not hesitate to stop Master Christie in his return to his shop, and present to him the letter which Lord Glenvarloch had given to her. Had she been better acquainted with life and its business, she would certainly have waited for a more temperate moment; and she had reason to repent of her precipitation, when, without saying a single word, or taking the trouble to gather more of the information contained in the letter than was expressed in the subscription, the incensed ship chandler threw it down on the ground, trampled it in high disdain, and, without addressing a single word to the bearer, except, indeed, something much more like a hearty curse than was perfectly consistent with his own grave appearance, he retired into his shop, and shut the hatch-door.

Mrs. Martha Trapbois had lived in Alsatia for too long to be surprised or scared by the argument she had just seen. In fact, she was only puzzled that the discussion hadn’t ended with one of those typical violent confrontations that usually happened in the Sanctuary. As the debaters walked away from each other, she, unaware that the root of the conflict was far deeper than the usual daily dramas she had heard or seen, didn’t hesitate to stop Master Christie on his way back to his shop and handed him the letter Lord Glenvarloch had given her. If she had been more familiar with life and its complexities, she would have certainly waited for a calmer moment; and she had reason to regret her haste when, without a word or even bothering to read more of the letter than the signature, the furious ship chandler threw it on the ground, stomped on it in contempt, and, without uttering a single word to her—except, perhaps, something that sounded much more like a serious curse than his normally solemn demeanor would suggest—he retreated into his shop and shut the hatch-door.

It was with the most inexpressible anguish that the desolate, friendless and unhappy female, thus beheld her sole hope of succour, countenance, and protection, vanish at once, without being able to conceive a reason; for, to do her justice, the idea that her friend, whom she knew by the name of Nigel Grahame, had imposed on her, a solution which might readily have occurred to many in her situation, never once entered her mind. Although it was not her temper easily to bend her mind to entreaty, she could not help exclaiming after the ireful and retreating ship-chandler,—“Good Master, hear me but a moment! for mercy's sake, for honesty's sake!”

It was with overwhelming sadness that the lonely, friendless, and unhappy woman watched her only hope for help, comfort, and protection disappear in an instant, unable to grasp why; to be fair to her, the thought that her friend, known as Nigel Grahame, might have deceived her—a possibility that could easily come to mind for many in her position—never crossed her thoughts. Although it wasn't in her nature to easily plead for help, she couldn't help calling out after the angry and departing ship-chandler, “Good sir, just hear me for a moment! For mercy's sake, for honesty's sake!”

“Mercy and honesty from him, mistress!” said the Scot, who, though he essayed not to interrupt the retreat of his antagonist, still kept stout possession of the field of action,—“ye might as weel expect brandy from bean-stalks, or milk from a craig of blue whunstane. The man is mad, bom mad, to boot.”

“Mercy and honesty from him, ma'am!” said the Scot, who, although he wasn't trying to interrupt his opponent's retreat, still held strong to the battleground, “you might as well expect brandy from bean stalks, or milk from a cliff of blue whinstone. The man is crazy, born crazy, to boot.”

“I must have mistaken the person to whom the letter was addressed, then;” and, as she spoke, Mistress Martha Trapbois was in the act of stooping to lift the paper which had been so uncourteously received. Her companion, with natural civility, anticipated her purpose; but, what was not quite so much in etiquette, he took a sly glance at it as he was about to hand it to her, and his eye having caught the subscription, he said, with surprise, “Glenvarloch—Nigel Olifaunt of Glenvarloch! Do you know the Lord Glenvarloch, mistress?”

“I must have gotten the person wrong to whom the letter was addressed, then;” and, as she spoke, Mistress Martha Trapbois was bending down to pick up the paper that had been so rudely received. Her companion, showing natural politeness, anticipated her move; but, less formally, he took a quick look at it as he was about to hand it to her, and when he saw the signature, he said, surprised, “Glenvarloch—Nigel Olifaunt of Glenvarloch! Do you know Lord Glenvarloch, mistress?”

“I know not of whom you speak,” said Mrs. Martha, peevishly. “I had that paper from one Master Nigel Gram.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Mrs. Martha said irritably. “I got that paper from someone named Nigel Gram.”

“Nigel Grahame!—umph.-O, ay, very true—I had forgot,” said the Scotsman. “A tall, well-set young man, about my height; bright blue eyes like a hawk's; a pleasant speech, something leaning to the kindly north-country accentuation, but not much, in respect of his having been resident abroad?”

“Nigel Grahame!—umph. Oh, right, I had forgotten,” said the Scotsman. “A tall, well-built young man, about my height; bright blue eyes like a hawk’s; a friendly way of speaking, with just a hint of a northern accent, but not much, considering he’s lived abroad?”

“All this is true—and what of it all?” said the daughter of the miser.

“All of this is true—and what does it all mean?” said the daughter of the miser.

“Hair of my complexion?”

"Hair in my color?"

“Yours is red,” replied she.

“Yours is red,” she replied.

“I pray you peace,” said the Scotsman. “I was going to say—of my complexion, but with a deeper shade of the chestnut. Weel, mistress, if I have guessed the man aright, he is one with whom I am, and have been, intimate and familiar,—nay,—I may truly say I have done him much service in my time, and may live to do him more. I had indeed a sincere good-will for him, and I doubt he has been much at a loss since we parted; but the fault is not mine. Wherefore, as this letter will not avail you with him to whom it is directed, you may believe that heaven hath sent it to me, who have a special regard for the writer—I have, besides, as much mercy and honesty within me as man can weel make his bread with, and am willing to aid any distressed creature, that is my friend's friend, with my counsel, and otherwise, so that I am not put to much charges, being in a strange country, like a poor lamb that has wandered from its ain native hirsel, and leaves a tait of its woo' in every d—d Southron bramble that comes across it.” While he spoke thus, he read the contents of the letter, without waiting for permission, and then continued,—“And so this is all that you are wanting, my dove? nothing more than safe and honourable lodging, and sustenance, upon your own charges?”

“I wish you peace,” said the Scotsman. “I was going to mention my complexion, but it’s a bit darker, like chestnut. Well, madam, if I’ve guessed the man correctly, he is someone I know well and have been close to—indeed, I can honestly say I've done a lot for him in the past and may do even more in the future. I had real goodwill toward him, and I suspect he’s been struggling since we last saw each other; but that isn’t my fault. Since this letter won’t help you with the person it's meant for, you can believe that fate has brought it to me, as I have a special fondness for the writer—plus, I have as much kindness and honesty in me as anyone could need to survive, and I’m ready to help any friend of my friend who is in distress, with my advice and support, as long as it doesn’t cost me too much, being in a foreign land, like a lost lamb that’s wandered away from its own flock, leaving bits of its wool in every annoying thorn bush in this place.” As he spoke, he read the letter's contents without waiting for permission, and then continued, “So this is all you need, my dear? Nothing more than safe and respectable lodging and food, at your own expense?”

“Nothing more,” said she. “If you are a man and a Christian, you will help me to what I need so much.”

“Nothing else,” she said. “If you’re a man and a Christian, you’ll help me get what I really need.”

“A man I am,” replied the formal Caledonian, “e'en sic as ye see me; and a Christian I may call myself, though unworthy, and though I have heard little pure doctrine since I came hither—a' polluted with men's devices—ahem! Weel, and if ye be an honest woman,” (here he peeped under her muffler,) “as an honest woman ye seem likely to be—though, let me tell you, they are a kind of cattle not so rife in the streets of this city as I would desire them—I was almost strangled with my own band by twa rampallians, wha wanted yestreen, nae farther gane, to harle me into a change-house—however, if ye be a decent honest woman,” (here he took another peep at features certainly bearing no beauty which could infer suspicion,) “as decent and honest ye seem to be, why, I will advise you to a decent house, where you will get douce, quiet entertainment, on reasonable terms, and the occasional benefit of my own counsel and direction—that is, from time to time, as my other avocations may permit.”

“A man I am,” replied the formal Scot, “just as you see me; and I can call myself a Christian, though unworthy, and even though I’ve heard little pure teaching since I arrived here—it's all mixed up with human ideas—ahem! Well, if you’re an honest woman,” (here he glanced under her scarf,) “as an honest woman you seem likely to be—though, let me tell you, they’re a kind of people not so common in the streets of this city as I would like them to be—I was almost choked by my own tie by two ruffians, who wanted last night, not far gone, to drag me into a tavern—however, if you are a decent, honest woman,” (here he took another look at features that certainly held no beauty which could raise suspicion,) “as decent and honest as you seem to be, then I will recommend you to a respectable place, where you will get good, quiet accommodations at reasonable rates, and the occasional benefit of my own advice and guidance—that is, from time to time, as my other commitments may allow.”

“May I venture to accept of such an offer from a stranger?” said Martha, with natural hesitation.

“Can I really accept such an offer from a stranger?” said Martha, with natural hesitation.

“Troth, I see nothing to hinder you, mistress,” replied the bonny Scot; “ye can but see the place, and do after as ye think best. Besides, we are nae such strangers, neither; for I know your friend, and you, it's like, know mine, whilk knowledge, on either hand, is a medium of communication between us, even as the middle of the string connecteth its twa ends or extremities. But I will enlarge on this farther as we pass along, gin ye list to bid your twa lazy loons of porters there lift up your little kist between them, whilk ae true Scotsman might carry under his arm. Let me tell you, mistress, ye will soon make a toom pock-end of it in Lon'on, if you hire twa knaves to do the work of ane.”

“Honestly, I see nothing stopping you, mistress,” replied the handsome Scot; “you can just check out the place and do what you think is best. Besides, we’re not strangers either; I know your friend, and you probably know mine, which gives us something to talk about, just like the middle of a string connects its two ends. But I’ll explain more as we go along, if you want to ask your two lazy porters to pick up your little chest between them, which a true Scotsman could carry under his arm. Let me tell you, mistress, you’ll quickly end up with an empty bag in London if you hire two fools to do the work of one.”

So saying, he led the way, followed by Mistress Martha Trapbois, whose singular destiny, though it had heaped her with wealth, had left her, for the moment, no wiser counsellor, or more distinguished protector, than honest Richie Moniplies, a discarded serving-man.

So saying, he led the way, followed by Mistress Martha Trapbois, whose unique fate, although it had brought her wealth, had, for the time being, left her with no wiser advisor or more distinguished protector than honest Richie Moniplies, a dismissed servant.










CHAPTER XXVII

  This way lie safety and a sure retreat;
  Yonder lie danger, shame, and punishment
  Most welcome danger then—Nay, let me say,
  Though spoke with swelling heart—welcome e'en shame
  And welcome punishment—for, call me guilty,
  I do but pay the tax that's due to justice;
  And call me guiltless, then that punishment
  Is shame to those alone who do inflict it,
                              The Tribunal.
  This way leads to safety and a guaranteed escape;  
  That way leads to danger, shame, and punishment.  
  So I welcome danger—no, let me say,  
  Even though I say it with a heavy heart—I welcome shame  
  And I welcome punishment, because if I'm guilty,  
  I'm just paying the price that justice demands;  
  And if I'm innocent, then that punishment  
  Is a shame only for those who impose it,  
                              The Tribunal.  

We left Lord Glenvarloch, to whose fortunes our story chiefly attaches itself, gliding swiftly down the Thames. He was not, as the reader may have observed, very affable in his disposition, or apt to enter into conversation with those into whose company he was casually thrown. This was, indeed, an error in his conduct, arising less from pride, though of that feeling we do not pretend to exculpate him, than from a sort of bashful reluctance to mix in the conversation of those with whom he was not familiar. It is a fault only to be cured by experience and knowledge of the world, which soon teaches every sensible and acute person the important lesson, that amusement, and, what is of more consequence, that information and increase of knowledge, are to be derived from the conversation of every individual whatever, with whom he is thrown into a natural train of communication. For ourselves, we can assure the reader—and perhaps if we have ever been able to afford him amusement, it is owing in a great degree to this cause—that we never found ourselves in company with the stupidest of all possible companions in a post-chaise, or with the most arrant cumber-corner that ever occupied a place in the mail-coach, without finding, that, in the course of our conversation with him, we had some ideas suggested to us, either grave orgay, or some information communicated in the course of our journey, which we should have regretted not to have learned, and which we should be sorry to have immediately forgotten. But Nigel was somewhat immured within the Bastile of his rank, as some philosopher (Tom Paine, we think) has happily enough expressed that sort of shyness which men of dignified situations are apt to be beset with, rather from not exactly knowing how far, or with whom, they ought to be familiar, than from any real touch of aristocratic pride. Besides, the immediate pressure of our adventurer's own affairs was such as exclusively to engross his attention.

We left Lord Glenvarloch, to whose fortunes our story mainly relates, moving swiftly down the Thames. He wasn’t, as you might have noticed, very friendly or inclined to chat with those he happened to be around. This was, in fact, a flaw in his behavior, stemming less from pride—though we can't fully excuse that—than from a sort of awkward reluctance to engage in conversation with strangers. It's a fault that can only be fixed through experience and understanding of the world, which quickly teaches any sharp-minded person the important lesson that fun, and more importantly, information and knowledge can come from conversations with anyone they find themselves talking to. For our part, we can assure you—and perhaps if we've entertained you at all, it’s largely due to this—that we’ve never found ourselves in the company of the dullest travel companions in a carriage, or the most annoying passenger in a mail-coach, without discovering, through our chat with them, some insightful ideas, whether serious or light-hearted, or receiving some useful information during our journey, which we would have regretted missing and would be upset to forget right away. But Nigel was somewhat confined by the limitations of his rank, as some philosopher (Tom Paine, we believe) aptly described this kind of shyness that people in high positions often experience, more from uncertainty about how far or with whom they should be familiar than from any genuine sense of aristocratic pride. Moreover, the pressing nature of our adventurer’s own affairs was such that it took up all his attention.

He sat, therefore, wrapt in his cloak, in the stern of the boat, with his mind entirely bent upon the probable issue of the interview with his Sovereign, which it was his purpose to seek; for which abstraction of mind he may be fully justified, although perhaps, by questioning the watermen who were transporting him down the river, he might have discovered matters of high concernment to him.

He sat there, wrapped in his cloak, at the back of the boat, completely focused on what might come from his meeting with the King, which he intended to pursue. He was justified in this deep thought, although he might have uncovered important information by talking to the boatmen taking him down the river.

At any rate, Nigel remained silent till the wherry approached the town of Greenwich, when he commanded the men to put in for the nearest landing-place, as it was his purpose to go ashore there, and dismiss them from further attendance.

At any rate, Nigel stayed quiet until the boat got close to the town of Greenwich, when he instructed the crew to head for the nearest landing spot, since he intended to disembark there and release them from any further service.

“That is not possible,” said the fellow with the green jacket, who, as we have already said, seemed to take on himself the charge of pilotage. “We must go,” he continued, “to Gravesend, where a Scottish vessel, which dropped down the river last tide for the very purpose, lies with her anchor a-peak, waiting to carry you to your own dear northern country. Your hammock is slung, and all is ready for you, and you talk of going ashore at Greenwich, as seriously as if such a thing were possible!”

"That's not possible," said the guy in the green jacket, who, as we've already mentioned, seemed to take on the role of the guide. "We need to go," he continued, "to Gravesend, where a Scottish ship, which came down the river last tide just for this purpose, is anchored and waiting to take you to your beloved northern country. Your hammock is set up, and everything is ready for you, and you’re talking about going ashore at Greenwich as if that were actually an option!"

“I see no impossibility,” said Nigel, “in your landing me where I desire to be landed; but very little possibility of your carrying me anywhere I am not desirous of going.”

“I don’t see anything impossible,” said Nigel, “about you getting me to where I want to be; but I see very little chance of you taking me anywhere I don't want to go.”

“Why, whether do you manage the wherry, or we, master?” asked Green-jacket, in a tone betwixt jest and earnest; “I take it she will go the way we row her.”

“Why, are you in charge of the boat, or are we, captain?” asked Green-jacket, in a tone that was part joke and part serious; “I figure she'll go wherever we row her.”

“Ay,” retorted Nigel, “but I take it you will row her on the course I direct you, otherwise your chance of payment is but a poor one.”

“Ay,” replied Nigel, “but I assume you’ll row her on the path I direct you, or else your chances of getting paid aren’t great.”

“Suppose we are content to risk that,” said the undaunted waterman, “I wish to know how you, who talk so big—I mean no offence, master, but you do talk big—would help yourself in such a case?”

“Let’s say we’re okay with that risk,” said the fearless boatman, “I want to know how you, who talk so confidently—I mean no offense, sir, but you do talk confidently—would handle yourself in that situation?”

“Simply thus,” answered Lord Glenvarloch—“You saw me, an hour since, bring down to the boat a trunk that neither of you could lift. If we are to contest the destination of our voyage, the same strength which tossed that chest into the wherry, will suffice to fling you out of it; wherefore, before we begin the scuffle, I pray you to remember, that, whither I would go, there I will oblige you to carry me.”

“Just like that,” replied Lord Glenvarloch. “You saw me an hour ago bring a trunk to the boat that neither of you could lift. If we’re going to argue about where we’re headed, the same strength that threw that chest into the boat will be enough to toss you out of it. So before we start fighting, I need you to remember that wherever I want to go, I’ll make you take me there.”

“Gramercy for your kindness,” said Green-jacket; “and now mark me in return. My comrade and I are two men—and you, were you as stout as George-a-Green, can pass but for one; and two, you will allow, are more than a match for one. You mistake in your reckoning, my friend.”

“Thanks for your kindness,” said Green-jacket; “and now pay attention to what I say in return. My friend and I are two men—and you, even if you were as strong as George-a-Green, can only pass for one; and two, as you'll agree, are more than enough for one. You're mistaken in your calculations, my friend.”

“It is you who mistake,” answered Nigel, who began to grow warm; “it is I who am three to two, sirrah—I carry two men's lives at my girdle.”

“It’s you who are mistaken,” replied Nigel, feeling a bit heated; “I’m the one who has three to two, you fool—I hold the lives of two men in my hands.”

So saying, he opened his cloak and showed the two pistols which he had disposed at his girdle. Green-jacket was unmoved at the display.

So saying, he opened his cloak and showed the two pistols he had strapped to his belt. Green-jacket was unfazed by the display.

“I have got,” said he, “a pair of barkers that will match yours,” and he showed that he also was armed with pistols; “so you may begin as soon as you list.”

“I've got,” he said, “a pair of guns that will match yours,” and he revealed that he was also armed with pistols; “so you can start whenever you're ready.”

“Then,” said Lord Glenvarloch, drawing forth and cocking a pistol, “the sooner the better. Take notice, I hold you as a ruffian, who have declared you will put force on my person; and that I will shoot you through the head if you do not instantly put me ashore at Greenwich.”

“Then,” said Lord Glenvarloch, pulling out and aiming a pistol, “the sooner the better. Just so you know, I see you as a thug, since you’ve said you’re going to use force against me; and I will shoot you in the head if you don’t let me off at Greenwich right now.”

The other waterman, alarmed at Nigel's gesture, lay upon his oar; but Green-jacket replied coolly—“Look you, master, I should not care a tester to venture a life with you on this matter; but the truth is, I am employed to do you good, and not to do you harm.”

The other boatman, startled by Nigel's gesture, paused on his oar; but Green-jacket replied calmly, “Listen, friend, I wouldn’t risk my life over this issue; but the truth is, I'm here to help you, not to harm you.”

“By whom are you employed?” said the Lord Glenvarloch; “or who dare concern themselves in me, or my affairs, without my authority?”

“Who are you working for?” asked Lord Glenvarloch. “And who has the right to involve themselves in my life or my business without my permission?”

“As to that,” answered the waterman, in the same tone of indifference, “I shall not show my commission. For myself, I care not, as I said, whether you land at Greenwich to get yourself hanged, or go down to get aboard the Royal Thistle, to make your escape to your own country; you will be equally out of my reach either way. But it is fair to put the choice before you.”

“As for that,” the waterman replied, maintaining the same indifferent tone, “I won’t show you my commission. Personally, I don’t care, as I said, whether you land at Greenwich to get yourself hanged, or go down to board the Royal Thistle to escape to your own country; either way, you'll be out of my reach. But it’s only fair to give you the choice.”

“My choice is made,” said Nigel. “I have told you thrice already it is my pleasure to be landed at Greenwich.”

“My choice is made,” said Nigel. “I've already told you three times that I’d be happy to land at Greenwich.”

“Write it on a piece of paper,” said the waterman, “that such is your positive will; I must have something to show to my employers, that the transgression of their orders lies with yourself, not with me.”

“Write it down on a piece of paper,” said the waterman, “so there's proof of your intention; I need something to show my employers that the violation of their orders is your responsibility, not mine.”

“I choose to hold this trinket in my hand for the present,” said Nigel, showing his pistol, “and will write you the acquittance when I go ashore.”

“I choose to hold this trinket in my hand for now,” said Nigel, showing his pistol, “and I’ll send you the receipt when I go ashore.”

“I would not go ashore with you for a hundred pieces,” said the waterman. “Ill luck has ever attended you, except in small gaming; do me fair justice, and give me the testimony I desire. If you are afraid of foul play while you write it, you may hold my pistols, if you will.” He offered the weapons to Nigel accordingly, who, while they were under his control, and all possibility of his being taken at disadvantage was excluded, no longer hesitated to give the waterman an acknowledgment, in the following terms:—

“I wouldn’t go ashore with you for a hundred bucks,” said the waterman. “You’ve always had bad luck, except when it comes to small bets; just be fair and give me the statement I need. If you’re worried about being cheated while you write it, you can hold my guns, if you want.” He offered the weapons to Nigel, who, now that he was in control of them and couldn’t be caught off guard, no longer hesitated to give the waterman an acknowledgment in the following terms:—

“Jack in the Green, with his mate, belonging to the wherry called the Jolly Raven, have done their duty faithfully by me, landing me at Greenwich by my express command; and being themselves willing and desirous to carry me on board the Royal Thistle, presently lying at Gravesend.” Having finished this acknowledgment, which he signed with the letters, N. O. G. as indicating his name and title, he again requested to know of the waterman, to whom he delivered it, the name of his employers.

“Jack in the Green, along with his partner from the boat called the Jolly Raven, has faithfully fulfilled my request, dropping me off at Greenwich as I specifically instructed; and they are eager and willing to take me on board the Royal Thistle, which is currently at Gravesend.” After finishing this acknowledgment, which he signed with the initials N. O. G. to indicate his name and title, he asked the waterman, to whom he gave it, for the names of his employers.

“Sir,” replied Jack in the Green, “I have respected your secret, do not you seek to pry into mine. It would do you no good to know for whom I am taking this present trouble; and, to be brief, you shall not know it—and, if you will fight in the quarrel, as you said even now, the sooner we begin the better. Only this you may be cock-sure of, that we designed you no harm, and that, if you fall into any, it will be of your own wilful seeking.” As he spoke, they approached the landing-place, where Nigel instantly jumped ashore. The waterman placed his small mail-trunk on the stairs, observing that there were plenty of spare hands about, to carry it where he would.

“Sir,” replied Jack in the Green, “I’ve kept your secret, so don’t try to pry into mine. Knowing who I’m dealing with won’t do you any good, and to be clear, you won’t find out. If you’re planning to fight in this dispute, as you just said, the sooner we get started, the better. Just know this: we have no intention of harming you, and if anything happens, it'll be because you chose it. As he spoke, they reached the landing area, where Nigel instantly jumped ashore. The waterman set down his small mail-trunk on the steps, noting that there were plenty of extra hands around to carry it wherever he wanted.

“We part friends, I hope, my lads,” said the young nobleman, offering at the same time a piece of money more than double the usual fare, to the boatmen.

“We part as friends, I hope, my lads,” said the young nobleman, at the same time handing over a sum of money more than double the usual fare to the boatmen.

“We part as we met,” answered Green-jacket; “and, for your money, I am paid sufficiently with this bit of paper. Only, if you owe me any love for the cast I have given you, I pray you not to dive so deep into the pockets of the next apprentice that you find fool enough to play the cavalier.—And you, you greedy swine,” said he to his companion, who still had a longing eye fixed on the money which Nigel continued to offer, “push off, or, if I take a stretcher in hand, I'll break the knave's pate of thee.” The fellow pushed off, as he was commanded, but still could not help muttering, “This was entirely out of waterman's rules.”

“We part as we met,” replied Green-jacket; “and for your money, I’m already compensated enough with this piece of paper. Just please don’t dig too deep into the pockets of the next apprentice you find stupid enough to act like a gentleman. — And you, you greedy pig,” he said to his companion, who still had an eager eye on the cash that Nigel kept offering, “get lost, or if I grab a stretcher, I’ll break your head.” The guy moved away as he was told but couldn't help mumbling, “This was completely against the waterman’s rules.”

Glenvarloch, though without the devotion of the “injured Thales” of the moralist, to the memory of that great princess, had now attained

Glenvarloch, even without the loyalty of the "wronged Thales" of the moralist, to the memory of that great princess, had now attained

     “The hallow'd soil which gave Eliza birth,”
 
“The sacred ground that gave Eliza life,”

whose halls were now less respectably occupied by her successor. It was not, as has been well shown by a late author, that James was void either of parts or of good intentions; and his predecessor was at least as arbitrary in effect as he was in theory. But, while Elizabeth possessed a sternness of masculine sense and determination which rendered even her weaknesses, some of which were in themselves sufficiently ridiculous, in a certain degree respectable, James, on the other hand, was so utterly devoid of “firm resolve,” so well called by the Scottish bard,

whose halls were now less honorably occupied by her successor. It wasn’t, as a recent writer has pointed out, that James lacked either talent or good intentions; his predecessor was at least as arbitrary in practice as he was in theory. However, while Elizabeth had a stern masculine sense and determination that made even her weaknesses—some of which were quite ridiculous—somewhat respectable, James, on the other hand, was completely lacking in “firm resolve,” as aptly described by the Scottish poet,

     “The stalk of carle-hemp in man,”
 
“The stalk of carle-hemp in man,”

that even his virtues and his good meaning became laughable, from the whimsical uncertainty of his conduct; so that the wisest things he ever said, and the best actions he ever did, were often touched with a strain of the ludicrous and fidgety character of the man. Accordingly, though at different periods of his reign he contrived to acquire with his people a certain degree of temporary popularity, it never long outlived the occasion which produced it; so true it is, that the mass of mankind will respect a monarch stained with actual guilt, more than one whose foibles render him only ridiculous.

that even his virtues and good intentions became laughable due to the unpredictable nature of his behavior; so that the wisest things he ever said and the best actions he ever took were often tinged with a hint of the ridiculous and anxious characters of the man. Accordingly, although at different times during his reign he managed to gain a certain level of temporary popularity with his people, it never lasted long after the circumstances that caused it; so true it is that the masses will respect a monarch with real wrongdoing more than one whose quirks just make him seem ridiculous.

To return from this digression, Lord Glenvarloch soon received, as Green-jacket had assured him, the offer of an idle bargeman to transport his baggage where he listed; but that where was a question of momentary doubt. At length, recollecting the necessity that his hair and beard should be properly arranged before he attempted to enter the royal presence, and desirous, at the same time, of obtaining some information of the motions of the Sovereign and of the Court, he desired to be guided to the next barber's shop, which we have already mentioned as the place where news of every kind circled and centred. He was speedily shown the way to such an emporium of intelligence, and soon found he was likely to hear all he desired to know, and much more, while his head was subjected to the art of a nimble tonsor, the glibness of whose tongue kept pace with the nimbleness of his fingers while he ran on, without stint or stop, in the following excursive manner:—

To get back to the point, Lord Glenvarloch quickly received, as Green-jacket had promised him, the offer of a lazy bargeman to take his luggage wherever he wanted; but that "where" was a matter of immediate uncertainty. Finally, remembering that he needed to have his hair and beard neatly arranged before he could approach the royal presence, and also wanting to find out about the movements of the Sovereign and the Court, he asked to be directed to the nearest barber shop, which we’ve already noted as the place where news of all kinds circulated and gathered. He was quickly shown the way to such a hub of information and soon realized he was likely to hear everything he wanted to know, and even more, while his head was attended to by a quick barber, whose chatter was as fast as his hands, as he went on, without pause or interruption, in the following rambling manner:—

“The Court here, master?—yes, master—much to the advantage of trade—good custom stirring. His Majesty loves Greenwich—hunts every morning in the Park—all decent persons admitted that have the entries of the Palace—no rabble—frightened the king's horse with their hallooing, the uncombed slaves.—Yes, sir, the beard more peaked? Yes, master, so it is worn. I know the last cut—dress several of the courtiers—one valet-of-the-chamber, two pages of the body, the clerk of the kitchen, three running footmen, two dog-boys, and an honourable Scottish knight, Sir Munko Malgrowler.”

“The Court here, boss?—yes, boss—really good for business—customers are lively. His Majesty loves Greenwich—goes hunting every morning in the Park—anyone decent can get in who has access to the Palace—no riffraff—scaring the king's horse with their shouting, those unkempt servants.—Yes, sir, the beard is more pointed? Yes, boss, that’s how it’s styled. I know the latest cut—groom several of the courtiers—one valet, two pages, the kitchen clerk, three footmen, two dog handlers, and a distinguished Scottish knight, Sir Munko Malgrowler.”

“Malagrowther, I suppose?” said Nigel, thrusting in his conjectural emendation, with infinite difficulty, betwixt two clauses of the barber's text.

“Malagrowther, I guess?” said Nigel, trying to fit his guess in with great difficulty between two parts of the barber's text.

“Yes, sir—Malcrowder, sir, as you say, sir—hard names the Scots have, sir, for an English mouth. Sir Munko is a handsome person, sir—perhaps you know him—bating the loss of his fingers, and the lameness of his leg, and the length of his chin. Sir, it takes me one minute, twelve seconds, more time to trim that chin of his, than any chin that I know in the town of Greenwich, sir. But he is a very comely gentleman, for all that; and a pleasant—a very pleasant gentleman, sir—and a good-humoured, saving that he is so deaf he can never hear good of any one, and so wise, that he can never believe it; but he is a very good-natured gentleman for all that, except when one speaks too low, or when a hair turns awry.—Did I graze you, sir? We shall put it to rights in a moment, with one drop of styptic—my styptic, or rather my wife's, sir—She makes the water herself. One drop of the styptic, sir, and a bit of black taffeta patch, just big enough to be the saddle to a flea, sir—Yes, sir, rather improves than otherwise. The Prince had a patch the other day, and so had the Duke: and, if you will believe me, there are seventeen yards three quarters of black taffeta already cut into patches for the courtiers.”

“Yes, sir—Malcrowder, sir, as you say, sir—Scottish names can be tough for an English tongue, sir. Sir Munko is a good-looking guy, sir—maybe you know him—except for the fact that he’s missing some fingers, has a lame leg, and has a really long chin. Sir, it takes me one minute and twelve seconds longer to trim that chin of his than any other chin I know in Greenwich, sir. But he’s quite a charming gentleman, in spite of all that; and a pleasant—really pleasant gentleman, sir—and good-natured, except that he’s so deaf he can never hear anyone say anything nice about him, and so clever that he can never believe it; but he’s a very good-natured guy overall, unless someone speaks too softly, or if a hair gets out of place.—Did I hurt you, sir? We'll fix it right away with a drop of styptic—my styptic, or rather my wife’s, sir—she makes it herself. A single drop of the styptic, sir, and a tiny patch of black taffeta, just big enough to serve as a saddle for a flea, sir—Yes, sir, it actually improves things rather than making them worse. The Prince had a patch just the other day, and so did the Duke: and if you can believe me, there are seventeen and three-quarters yards of black taffeta already cut into patches for the courtiers.”

“But Sir Mungo Malagrowther?” again interjected Nigel, with difficulty.

“But Sir Mungo Malagrowther?” Nigel interjected again, struggling to get the words out.

“Ay, ay, sir—Sir Munko, as you say; a pleasant, good-humoured gentleman as ever—To be spoken with, did you say? O ay, easily to be spoken withal, that is, as easily as his infirmity will permit. He will presently, unless some one hath asked him forth to breakfast, be taking his bone of broiled beef at my neighbour Ned Kilderkin's yonder, removed from over the way. Ned keeps an eating-house, sir, famous for pork-griskins; but Sir Munko cannot abide pork, no more than the King's most Sacred Majesty,[Footnote: The Scots, till within the last generation, disliked swine's flesh as an article of food as much as the Highlanders do at present. It was remarked as extraordinary rapacity, when the Border depredators condescended to make prey of the accursed race, whom the fiend made his habitation. Ben Jonson, in drawing James's character, says, he loved “no part of a swine.”] nor my Lord Duke of Lennox, nor Lord Dalgarno,—nay, I am sure, sir, if I touched you this time, it was your fault, not mine.—But a single drop of the styptic, another little patch that would make a doublet for a flea, just under the left moustache; it will become you when you smile, sir, as well as a dimple; and if you would salute your fair mistress—but I beg pardon, you are a grave gentleman, very grave to be so young.—Hope I have given no offence; it is my duty to entertain customers—my duty, sir, and my pleasure—Sir Munko Malcrowther?—yes, sir, I dare say he is at this moment in Ned's eating-house, for few folks ask him out, now Lord Huntinglen is gone to London. You will get touched again—yes, sir—there you shall find him with his can of single ale, stirred with a sprig of rosemary, for he never drinks strong potations, sir, unless to oblige Lord Huntinglen—take heed, sir—or any other person who asks him forth to breakfast—but single beer he always drinks at Ned's, with his broiled bone of beef or mutton—or, it may be, lamb at the season—but not pork, though Ned is famous for his griskins. But the Scots never eat pork—strange that! some folk think they are a sort of Jews. There is a resemblance, sir,—Do you not think so? Then they call our most gracious Sovereign the Second Solomon, and Solomon, you know, was King of the Jews; so the thing bears a face, you see. I believe, sir, you will find yourself trimmed now to your content. I will be judged by the fair mistress of your affections. Crave pardon—no offence, I trust. Pray, consult the glass—one touch of the crisping tongs, to reduce this straggler.—Thank your munificence, sir—hope your custom while you stay in Greenwich. Would you have a tune on that ghittern, to put your temper in concord for the day?—Twang, twang—twang, twang, dillo. Something out of tune, sir—too many hands to touch it—we cannot keep these things like artists. Let me help you with your cloak, sir—yes, sir—You would not play yourself, sir, would you?—Way to Sir Munko's eating-house?—Yes, sir; but it is Ned's eating-house, not Sir Munko's.—The knight, to be sure, eats there, and makes it his eating-house in some sense, sir—ha, ha! Yonder it is, removed from over the way, new white-washed posts, and red lattice—fat man in his doublet at the door—Ned himself, sir—worth a thousand pounds, they say—better singeing pigs' faces than trimming courtiers—but ours is the less mechanical vocation.—Farewell, sir; hope your custom.” So saying, he at length permitted Nigel to depart, whose ears, so long tormented with continued babble, tingled when it had ceased, as if a bell had been rung close to them for the same space of time.

"Yes, yes, sir—Sir Munko, as you mentioned; a pleasant, good-natured gentleman for sure. To talk to him, you say? Oh yes, he’s easy to speak with, at least as much as his condition allows. He'll soon be having his bone of broiled beef at my neighbor Ned Kilderkin's place over there, just across the way. Ned runs a restaurant, sir, famous for its pork cracklings; but Sir Munko can't stand pork, just like the King himself, nor my Lord Duke of Lennox, nor Lord Dalgarno.—I’m sure if I bumped into you this time, it was your fault, not mine.—But a single drop of the styptic, just a little patch that would fit a flea under your left mustache; it will suit you when you smile, sir, just like a dimple; and if you were to greet your lovely mistress—but I apologize, you're quite serious, especially for someone so young.—I hope I haven't offended; it’s my job to entertain customers—my job, sir, and my pleasure—Sir Munko Malcrowther?—yes, sir, I can almost guarantee he's at Ned's restaurant right now, as few people ask him out since Lord Huntinglen went to London. You’ll run into him again—yes, sir—there you’ll find him with his mug of light ale, stirred with a sprig of rosemary, because he never drinks strong stuff, sir, unless he’s doing it to please Lord Huntinglen—or anyone else who invites him to breakfast—but he always has light beer at Ned’s, with his broiled beef or mutton—or maybe lamb when it’s in season—but never pork, even though Ned is famous for his cracklings. But the Scots never eat pork—strange, right? Some folks think they’re a sort of Jewish. There’s a resemblance, don't you think? Then they call our most gracious Sovereign the Second Solomon, and Solomon, you know, was King of the Jews; so there’s a bit of logic there, you see. I believe, sir, you’ll find yourself satisfied with how you look now. I’ll leave it to the lovely mistress of your heart to decide. I beg your pardon—no offense intended. Please, take a look in the mirror—just one touch of the curling tongs to tame this stray hairs.—Thank you for your generosity, sir—I hope you’ll keep coming back while you’re in Greenwich. Would you like to hear a tune on that lute, to set your mood for the day?—Pluck, pluck—pluck, pluck, dillo. Something’s off, sir—too many hands have touched it—we can’t keep these things like real musicians. Let me help you with your cloak, sir—yes, sir—You wouldn’t want to play an instrument yourself, would you?—Way to Sir Munko's restaurant?—Yes, sir; but it’s Ned's restaurant, not Sir Munko's.—The knight does eat there, and in a way, it’s his place, sir—ha, ha! There it is, just across the way, with new white-washed posts and red lattice—overweight man in his doublet at the door—Ned himself, sir—worth a thousand pounds, they say—better singeing pigs' faces than grooming courtiers—but ours is the less mechanical job.—Farewell, sir; I hope you’ll return.” With that, he finally let Nigel go, whose ears, long battered with constant chatter, tingled when it finally stopped, as if a bell had been rung right next to them for that same amount of time.

Upon his arrival at the eating-house, where he proposed to meet with Sir Mungo Malagrowther, from whom, in despair of better advice, he trusted to receive some information as to the best mode of introducing himself into the royal presence, Lord Glenvarloch found, in the host with whom he communed, the consequential taciturnity of an Englishman well to pass in the world. Ned Kilderkin spoke as a banker writes, only touching the needful. Being asked if Sir Mungo Malagrowther was there? he replied, No. Being interrogated whether he was expected? he said, Yes. And being again required to say when he was expected, he answered, Presently. As Lord Glenvarloch next inquired, whether he himself could have any breakfast? the landlord wasted not even a syllable in reply, but, ushering him into a neat room where there were several tables, he placed one of them before an armchair, and beckoning Lord Glenvarloch to take possession, he set before him, in a very few minutes, a substantial repast of roast-beef, together with a foaming tankard, to which refreshment the keen air of the river disposed him, notwithstanding his mental embarrassments, to do much honour.

When Lord Glenvarloch arrived at the eatery where he planned to meet Sir Mungo Malagrowther, hoping to get advice on how to present himself to the king, he encountered the reserved demeanor typical of an Englishman in the host he spoke to. Ned Kilderkin communicated like a banker's writing—only addressing what was necessary. When asked if Sir Mungo Malagrowther was there, he replied, "No." When queried whether he was expected, he said, "Yes." And when pressed for when he would arrive, he answered, "Soon." After that, when Lord Glenvarloch asked if he could have breakfast, the landlord didn't say a word but led him to a tidy room with several tables, placed one in front of an armchair, and gestured for Lord Glenvarloch to sit. Within minutes, he brought a hearty meal of roast beef and a frothy tankard, which the brisk river air encouraged him to enjoy, despite his worries.

While Nigel was thus engaged in discussing his commons, but raising his head at the same time whenever he heard the door of the apartment open, eagerly desiring the arrival of Sir Mungo Malagrowther, (an event which had seldom been expected by any one with so much anxious interest,) a personage, as it seemed, of at least equal importance with the knight, entered into the apartment, and began to hold earnest colloquy with the publican, who thought proper to carry on the conference on his side unbonneted. This important gentleman's occupation might be guessed from his dress. A milk-white jerkin, and hose of white kersey; a white apron twisted around his body in the manner of a sash, in which, instead of a war-like dagger, was stuck a long-bladed knife, hilted with buck's-horn; a white nightcap on his head, under which his hair was neatly tucked, sufficiently pourtrayed him as one of those priests of Comus whom the vulgar call cooks; and the air with which he rated the publican for having neglected to send some provisions to the Palace, showed that he ministered to royalty itself.

While Nigel was busy talking about his meals, he also raised his head each time he heard the apartment door open, eagerly waiting for Sir Mungo Malagrowther to arrive—an event that was rarely anticipated with such intense interest. Suddenly, someone entered the room who seemed just as important as the knight and began a serious conversation with the publican, who decided to continue the discussion without his hat on. This significant figure's attire hinted at his role. He wore a milk-white jacket and white pants, with a white apron wrapped around his waist like a sash, in which instead of a warrior's dagger, there was a long knife with a buckhorn handle. A white nightcap sat on his head, neatly covering his hair, making it clear that he was one of those cooks, referred to by the common folks as the priests of Comus. The way he scolded the publican for failing to send some supplies to the Palace indicated that he served royalty directly.

“This will never answer,” he said, “Master Kilderkin—the king twice asked for sweetbreads, and fricasseed coxcombs, which are a favourite dish of his most Sacred Majesty, and they were not to be had, because Master Kilderkin had not supplied them to the clerk of the kitchen, as by bargain bound.” Here Kilderkin made some apology, brief, according to his own nature, and muttered in a lowly tone after the fashion of all who find themselves in a scrape. His superior replied, in a lofty strain of voice, “Do not tell me of the carrier and his wain, and of the hen-coops coming from Norfolk with the poultry; a loyal man would have sent an express—he would have gone upon his stumps, like Widdrington. What if the king had lost his appetite, Master Kilderkin? What if his most Sacred Majesty had lost his dinner? O, Master Kilderkin, if you had but the just sense of the dignity of our profession, which is told of by the witty African slave, for so the king's most excellent Majesty designates him, Publius Terentius, Tanguam in specula—in patinas inspicerejubeo.”

“This isn’t going to work,” he said, “Master Kilderkin—the king asked for sweetbreads and fricasseed coxcombs, which are one of his favorite dishes, and they weren’t available because Master Kilderkin didn’t provide them to the kitchen clerk as agreed.” Here, Kilderkin offered a brief apology, true to his nature, and mumbled in a low voice like anyone who finds themselves in a difficult situation. His superior responded in a high and mighty tone, “Don’t tell me about the carrier and his cart, or the hen-coops coming from Norfolk with the poultry; a loyal man would have sent a fast messenger—he would have gone on foot, like Widdrington. What if the king had lost his appetite, Master Kilderkin? What if his most Sacred Majesty missed his dinner? Oh, Master Kilderkin, if you had even a little understanding of the dignity of our profession, as described by the witty African slave, as the king’s most excellent Majesty calls him, Publius Terentius, Tanguam in specula—in patinas inspicerejubeo.”

“You are learned, Master Linklater,” replied the English publican, compelling, as it were with difficulty, his mouth to utter three or four words consecutively.

“You're quite knowledgeable, Master Linklater,” said the English pub owner, forcing himself to say three or four words in a row with some effort.

“A poor smatterer,” said Mr. Linklater; “but it would be a shame to us, who are his most excellent Majesty's countrymen, not in some sort to have cherished those arts wherewith he is so deeply embued—Regis ad exemplar, Master Kilderkin, totus componitur orbis—which is as much as to say, as the king quotes the cook learns. In brief, Master Kilderkin, having had the luck to be bred where humanities may be had at the matter of an English five groats by the quarter, I, like others, have acquired—ahem-hem!—” Here, the speaker's eye having fallen upon Lord Glenvarloch, he suddenly stopped in his learned harangue, with such symptoms of embarrassment as induced Ned Kilderkin to stretch his taciturnity so far as not only to ask him what he ailed, but whether he would take any thing.

“A poor smatterer,” said Mr. Linklater; “but it would be a shame for us, who are his most excellent Majesty's countrymen, not to have in some way cherished the skills he is so deeply imbued with—Regis ad exemplar, Master Kilderkin, totus componitur orbis—which means, as the king quotes, the cook learns. In short, Master Kilderkin, having had the fortune to be raised where education can be had for about an English five groats per quarter, I, like others, have picked up— ahem-hem!” Here, the speaker’s gaze fell upon Lord Glenvarloch, and he suddenly stopped his learned discourse, showing such signs of embarrassment that it prompted Ned Kilderkin to break his silence and ask him what was wrong, and whether he wanted anything.

“Ail nothing,” replied the learned rival of the philosophical Syrus; “Nothing—and yet I do feel a little giddy. I could taste a glass of your dame's aqua mirabilis.”

“Ail nothing,” replied the knowledgeable rival of the philosophical Syrus; “Nothing—and yet I do feel a little dizzy. I could really go for a glass of your lady's aqua mirabilis.”

“I will fetch it,” said Ned, giving a nod; and his back was no sooner turned, than the cook walked near the table where Lord Glenvarloch was seated, and regarding him with a look of significance, where more was meant than met the ear, said,—“You are a stranger in Greenwich, sir. I advise you to take the opportunity to step into the Park—the western wicket was ajar when I came hither; I think it will be locked presently, so you had better make the best of your way—that is, if you have any curiosity. The venison are coming into season just now, sir, and there is a pleasure in looking at a hart of grease. I always think when they are bounding so blithely past, what a pleasure it would be, to broach their plump haunches on a spit, and to embattle their breasts in a noble fortification of puff-paste, with plenty of black pepper.”

“I'll get it,” Ned said with a nod; and as soon as he turned his back, the cook approached the table where Lord Glenvarloch was sitting. Looking at him with a significant expression, implying more than what was said, he said, “You’re new to Greenwich, sir. I recommend you take the chance to go into the Park—the western gate was slightly open when I arrived here; I think it will be locked soon, so you should hurry—if you're interested, that is. The deer are coming into season now, sir, and there’s something enjoyable about watching a stag in the wild. I always think, as they bound happily by, what a delight it would be to roast their tender haunches on a spit and wrap their breasts in a delicious pastry crust, seasoned generously with black pepper.”

He said no more, as Kilderkin re-entered with the cordial, but edged off from Nigel without waiting any reply, only repeating the same look of intelligence with which he had accosted him.

He said nothing more as Kilderkin came back in with the drink, but backed away from Nigel without waiting for a response, just giving him the same knowing look he had approached him with.

Nothing makes men's wits so alert as personal danger. Nigel took the first opportunity which his host's attention to the yeoman of the royal kitchen permitted, to discharge his reckoning, and readily obtained a direction to the wicket in question. He found it upon the latch, as he had been taught to expect; and perceived that it admitted him to a narrow footpath, which traversed a close and tangled thicket, designed for the cover of the does and the young fawns. Here he conjectured it would be proper to wait; nor had he been stationary above five minutes, when the cook, scalded as much with heat of motion as ever he had been by his huge fire-place, arrived almost breathless, and with his pass-key hastily locked the wicket behind him.

Nothing sharpens a man's mind like personal danger. Nigel took the first chance he got, when his host was distracted by the royal kitchen's yeoman, to settle his bill and quickly got directions to the gate. He found it unlatched, just as he had been told, and realized it led to a narrow footpath that wound through a dense, tangled thicket meant to conceal does and young fawns. He figured it was best to wait here; and he had barely stood still for five minutes when the cook, as overheated from running as he ever was by his giant fireplace, arrived nearly out of breath and quickly locked the gate behind him with his pass-key.

Ere Lord Glenvarloch had time to speculate upon this action, the man approached with anxiety, and said—“Good lord, my Lord Glenvarloch!—why will you endanger yourself thus?”

Ere Lord Glenvarloch had time to think about this action, the man came up with concern and said—“Oh my gosh, my Lord Glenvarloch!—why would you put yourself in danger like this?”

“You know me then, my friend?” said Nigel.

“You know me, right, my friend?” said Nigel.

“Not much of that, my lord—but I know your honour's noble house well.—My name is Laurie Linklater, my lord.”

“Not much of that, my lord—but I know your honorable house well.—My name is Laurie Linklater, my lord.”

“Linklater!” repeated Nigel. “I should recollect—'

“Linklater!” repeated Nigel. “I should remember—'

“Under your lordship's favour,” he continued, “I was 'prentice, my lord, to old Mungo Moniplies, the flesher at the wanton West-Port of Edinburgh, which I wish I saw again before I died. And, your honour's noble father having taken Richie Moniplies into his house to wait on your lordship, there was a sort of connexion, your lordship sees.”

“Thanks to your lordship’s kindness,” he continued, “I was an apprentice, my lord, to the old Mungo Moniplies, the butcher at the lively West-Port of Edinburgh, which I wish I could see again before I die. And your honorable father took Richie Moniplies into his home to serve your lordship, so there was a kind of connection, your lordship understands.”

“Ah!” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I had almost forgot your name, but not your kind purpose. You tried to put Richie in the way of presenting a supplication to his Majesty?”

“Ah!” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I almost forgot your name, but not your kind intention. You tried to help Richie ask for an audience with the King?”

“Most true, my lord,” replied the king's cook. “I had like to have come by mischief in the job; for Richie, who was always wilful, 'wadna be guided by me,' as the sang says. But nobody amongst these brave English cooks can kittle up his Majesty's most sacred palate with our own gusty Scottish dishes. So I e'en betook myself to my craft, and concocted a mess of friar's chicken for the soup, and a savoury hachis, that made the whole cabal coup the crans; and, instead of disgrace, I came by preferment. I am one of the clerks of the kitchen now, make me thankful—with a finger in the purveyor's office, and may get my whole hand in by and by.”

“It's mostly true, my lord,” replied the king's cook. “I almost got into trouble with the job; because Richie, who was always stubborn, ‘wouldn’t listen to me,’ as the song goes. But none of these brave English cooks can satisfy His Majesty’s most sacred taste with our rich Scottish dishes. So I got back to my craft and whipped up a batch of friar's chicken for the soup and a tasty hachis that had everyone raving; and instead of disgrace, I got promoted. I'm now one of the clerks in the kitchen, thank goodness—with a finger in the purveyor's office, and I might get my whole hand in there eventually.”

“I am truly glad,” said Nigel, “to hear that you have not suffered on my account,—still more so at your good fortune.”

“I’m really glad,” said Nigel, “to hear that you haven’t suffered because of me—especially pleased about your good luck.”

“You bear a kind heart, my lord,” said Linklater, “and do not forget poor people; and, troth, I see not why they should be forgotten, since the king's errand may sometimes fall in the cadger's gate. I have followed your lordship in the street, just to look at such a stately shoot of the old oak-tree; and my heart jumped into my throat, when I saw you sitting openly in the eating-house yonder, and knew there was such danger to your person.”

“You have a kind heart, my lord,” Linklater said, “and you don’t forget about poor people; honestly, I don’t see why they should be forgotten, since the king's business might sometimes lead to the beggar's door. I’ve followed you in the street just to see such a noble branch of the old oak tree; and my heart raced when I saw you sitting openly in that restaurant over there, knowing there was such a risk to your safety.”

“What! there are warrants against me, then?” said Nigel.

“What! There are warrants out for me, then?” said Nigel.

“It is even true, my lord; and there are those who are willing to blacken you as much as they can.—God forgive them, that would sacrifice an honourable house for their own base ends!”

“It’s true, my lord; there are people who are eager to tarnish your reputation as much as they can. God forgive them for being willing to ruin an honorable family for their own selfish purposes!”

“Amen,” said Nigel.

"Amen," Nigel said.

“For, say your lordship may have been a little wild, like other young gentlemen—”

“For instance, your lordship might have been a bit reckless, like other young men—”

“We have little time to talk of it, my friend,” said Nigel. “The point in question is, how am I to get speech of the king?”

“We don't have much time to discuss this, my friend,” said Nigel. “The important thing is, how do I get to speak with the king?”

“The king, my lord!” said Linklater in astonishment; “why, will not that be rushing wilfully into danger?—scalding yourself, as I may say, with your own ladle?”

“The king, my lord!” Linklater exclaimed in disbelief; “won't that just be throwing yourself into danger on purpose?—burning yourself with your own spoon, so to speak?”

“My good friend,” answered Nigel, “my experience of the Court, and my knowledge of the circumstances in which I stand, tell me, that the manliest and most direct road is, in my case, the surest and the safest. The king has both a head to apprehend what is just, and a heart to do what is kind.”

“My good friend,” replied Nigel, “my experience with the Court, along with my understanding of my situation, tells me that the most straightforward and honest approach is, for me, the most reliable and secure. The king has both the intellect to recognize what is fair and the compassion to act kindly.”

“It is e'en true, my lord, and so we, his old servants, know,” added Linklater; “but, woe's me, if you knew how many folks make it their daily and nightly purpose to set his head against his heart, and his heart against his head—to make him do hard things because they are called just, and unjust things because they are represented as kind. Woe's me! it is with his Sacred Majesty, and the favourites who work upon him, even according to the homely proverb that men taunt my calling with,—'God sends good meat, but the devil sends cooks.'”

“It’s true, my lord, and we, his old servants, know it,” added Linklater; “but, unfortunately, if you only knew how many people make it their daily and nightly goal to pit his head against his heart, and his heart against his head—to make him do tough things because they’re called just, and unjust things because they’re portrayed as kind. Oh dear! it is with his Sacred Majesty, and the favorites who influence him, just like the saying people mock my profession with — 'God sends good food, but the devil sends the cooks.'”

“It signifies not talking of it, my good friend,” said Nigel, “I must take my risk, my honour peremptorily demands it. They may maim me, or beggar me, but they shall not say I fled from my accusers. My peers shall hear my vindication.”

“It means not talking about it, my good friend,” said Nigel, “I have to take my chances; my honor demands it without question. They might hurt me or leave me in poverty, but they won’t say I ran away from my accusers. My peers will hear my defense.”

“Your peers?” exclaimed the cook—“Alack-a-day, my lord, we are not in Scotland, where the nobles can bang it out bravely, were it even with the king himself, now and then. This mess must be cooked in the Star-Chamber, and that is an oven seven times heated, my lord;—and yet, if you are determined to see the king, I will not say but you may find some favour, for he likes well any thing that is appealed directly to his own wisdom, and sometimes, in the like cases, I have known him stick by his own opinion, which is always a fair one. Only mind, if you will forgive me, my lord—mind to spice high with Latin; a curn or two of Greek would not be amiss; and, if you can bring in any thing about the judgment of Solomon, in the original Hebrew, and season with a merry jest or so, the dish will be the more palatable.—Truly, I think, that, besides my skill in art, I owe much to the stripes of the Rector of the High School, who imprinted on my mind that cooking scene in the Heautontimorumenos.”

“Your peers?” the cook exclaimed. “Oh dear, my lord, we’re not in Scotland, where nobles can confront each other directly, even with the king occasionally. This situation needs to be handled in the Star-Chamber, which is a very intense place, my lord;—but if you’re determined to see the king, I won’t say you might not get some favor, since he appreciates anything that appeals directly to his own judgment, and sometimes in similar situations, I’ve seen him stick to his own perspective, which is usually a fair one. Just remember, if you’ll forgive me, my lord—make sure to use plenty of Latin; a sprinkle of Greek wouldn’t hurt either; and if you can reference anything about the judgment of Solomon in the original Hebrew and add a few light-hearted jokes, it will make the dish more appealing. Honestly, I think that, in addition to my skill, I owe a lot to the discipline from the Rector of the High School, who impressed upon me that cooking scene in the Heautontimorumenos.”

“Leaving that aside, my friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “can you inform me which way I shall most readily get to the sight and speech of the king?”

“Putting that aside, my friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “can you tell me the easiest way to see and talk to the king?”

“To the sight of him readily enough,” said Linklater; “he is galloping about these alleys, to see them strike the hart, to get him an appetite for a nooning—and that reminds me I should be in the kitchen. To the speech of the king you will not come so easily, unless you could either meet him alone, which rarely chances, or wait for him among the crowd that go to see him alight. And now, farewell, my lord, and God speed!—if I could do more for you, I would offer it.”

“To see him easily enough,” said Linklater; “he’s running around these alleys, trying to catch the heart, to work up an appetite for lunch—and that reminds me I should be in the kitchen. You won’t be able to hear the king speak so easily, unless you can either meet him alone, which hardly ever happens, or wait for him in the crowd that gathers to see him arrive. And now, goodbye, my lord, and good luck!—if I could do more for you, I would.”

“You have done enough, perhaps, to endanger yourself,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I pray you to be gone, and leave me to my fate.”

“You’ve done enough, maybe even put yourself in danger,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I ask you to leave and let me face my fate.”

The honest cook lingered, but a nearer burst of the horns apprized him that there was no time to lose; and, acquainting Nigel that he would leave the postern-door on the latch to secure his retreat in that direction, he bade God bless him, and farewell.

The honest cook stayed for a moment, but a closer blast of the horns reminded him that there was no time to waste; informing Nigel that he would leave the back door unlatched to ensure his escape that way, he wished him God’s blessings and said goodbye.

In the kindness of this humble countryman, flowing partly from national partiality, partly from a sense of long-remembered benefits, which had been scarce thought on by those who had bestowed them, Lord Glenvarloch thought he saw the last touch of sympathy which he was to receive in this cold and courtly region, and felt that he must now be sufficient to himself, or be utterly lost.

In the kindness of this humble farmer, coming partly from national pride and partly from a sense of long-remembered favors that had been mostly forgotten by those who gave them, Lord Glenvarloch believed he saw the final bit of sympathy he would get in this cold and formal place, and he realized he must rely on himself or be completely lost.

He traversed more than one alley, guided by the sounds of the chase, and met several of the inferior attendants upon the king's sport, who regarded him only as one of the spectators who were sometimes permitted to enter the Park by the concurrence of the officers about the Court. Still there was no appearance of James, or any of his principal courtiers, and Nigel began to think whether, at the risk of incurring disgrace similar to that which had attended the rash exploit of Richie Moniplies, he should not repair to the Palace-gate, in order to address the king on his return, when Fortune presented him the opportunity of doing so, in her own way.

He walked through several alleys, following the sounds of the chase, and ran into a few of the minor attendants at the king’s hunt, who saw him only as one of the spectators occasionally allowed in the Park by the officers at Court. However, there was still no sign of James or any of his top courtiers, and Nigel started to wonder whether, risking the same kind of disgrace that Richie Moniplies had faced for his reckless stunt, he should head to the Palace gate to speak to the king upon his return when luck gave him the chance to do so, in her own way.

He was in one of those long walks by which the Park was traversed, when he heard, first a distant rustling, then the rapid approach of hoofs shaking the firm earth on which he stood; then a distant halloo, warned by which he stood up by the side of the avenue, leaving free room for the passage of the chase. The stag, reeling, covered with foam, and blackened with sweat, his nostrils extended as he gasped for breath, made a shift to come up as far as where Nigel stood, and, without turning to bay, was there pulled down by two tall greyhounds of the breed still used by the hardy deer-stalkers of the Scottish Highlands, but which has been long unknown in England. One dog struck at the buck's throat, another dashed his sharp nose and fangs, I might almost say, into the animal's bowels. It would have been natural for Lord Glenvarloch, himself persecuted as if by hunters, to have thought upon the occasion like the melancholy Jacques; but habit is a strange matter, and I fear that his feelings on the occasion were rather those of the practised huntsman than of the moralist. He had no time, however, to indulge them, for mark what befell.

He was taking one of those long strolls through the Park when he first heard a distant rustling and then the rapid pounding of hooves shaking the solid ground beneath him. Hearing a shout from afar, he stepped aside along the avenue to clear a path for the chase. The stag, staggering, covered in foam and drenched in sweat, its nostrils flared as it gasped for air, managed to come as close as where Nigel stood. Without turning to defend itself, it was quickly taken down by two tall greyhounds of the breed still used by the skilled deer hunters of the Scottish Highlands, a breed that had long been forgotten in England. One dog lunged for the buck's throat while the other buried its sharp nose and fangs, almost literally, into the animal's insides. It would have been understandable for Lord Glenvarloch, himself pursued like prey, to reflect on the situation like the sad Jacques; but habit is a peculiar thing, and I fear his feelings at that moment were more in line with those of an experienced huntsman than a philosopher. However, he didn’t have the time to dwell on them, as you’ll see what happened next.

A single horseman followed the chase, upon a steed so thoroughly subjected to the rein, that it obeyed the touch of the bridle as if it had been a mechanical impulse operating on the nicest piece of machinery; so that, seated deep in his demipique saddle, and so trussed up there as to make falling almost impossible, the rider, without either fear or hesitation, might increase or diminish the speed at which he rode, which, even on the most animating occasions of the chase, seldom exceeded three-fourths of a gallop, the horse keeping his haunches under him, and never stretching forward beyond the managed pace of the academy. The security with which he chose to prosecute even this favourite, and, in the ordinary case, somewhat dangerous amusement, as well as the rest of his equipage, marked King James. No attendant was within sight; indeed, it was often a nice strain of flattery to permit the Sovereign to suppose he had outridden and distanced all the rest of the chase.

A lone horseman followed the hunt on a horse so expertly trained that it responded to the bridle’s touch as if it were controlled by a machine. Seated firmly in his saddle, securely strapped in so he could hardly fall, the rider was able to speed up or slow down as he pleased. Even during the most thrilling parts of the chase, his pace rarely went faster than three-quarters of a gallop, with the horse maintaining its stride and never pushing beyond the controlled speed typical of formal riding. The confidence with which he pursued this favorite pastime, despite its usual risks, along with his equipment, highlighted King James. There was no attendant in sight; in fact, it was often a subtle form of flattery to let the Sovereign believe he had outpaced everyone else in the hunt.

“Weel dune, Bash—weel dune, Battie!” he exclaimed as he came up. “By the honour of a king, ye are a credit to the Braes of Balwhither!—Haud my horse, man,” he called out to Nigel, without stopping to see to whom he had addressed himself—“Haud my naig, and help me doun out o' the saddle—deil ding your saul, sirrah, canna ye mak haste before these lazy smaiks come up?—haud the rein easy—dinna let him swerve—now, haud the stirrup—that will do, man, and now we are on terra firma.” So saying, without casting an eye on his assistant, gentle King Jamie, unsheathing the short, sharp hanger, (couteau de chasse,) which was the only thing approaching to a sword that he could willingly endure the sight of, drew the blade with great satisfaction across the throat of the buck, and put an end at once to its struggles and its agonies.

“Well done, Bash—weell done, Battie!” he exclaimed as he approached. “By the honor of a king, you are a credit to the Braes of Balwhither!—Hold my horse, man,” he called out to Nigel, without stopping to see to whom he was speaking—“Hold my nag, and help me down from the saddle—devil take you, sir, can’t you hurry up before these lazy fellows catch up?—hold the reins steady—don’t let him sway—now, hold the stirrup—that’s good, man, and now we’re on solid ground.” Saying this, without glancing at his assistant, gentle King Jamie, unsheathing the short, sharp hanger, (couteau de chasse), which was the only thing resembling a sword he could bear to look at, drew the blade with great satisfaction across the throat of the buck, ending its struggles and its suffering at once.

Lord Glenvarloch, who knew well the silvan duty which the occasion demanded, hung the bridle of the king's palfrey on the branch of a tree, and, kneeling duteously down, turned the slaughtered deer upon its back, and kept the quarree in that position, while the king, too intent upon his sport to observe any thing else, drew his couteau down the breast of the animal, secundum artem; and, having made a cross cut, so as to ascertain the depth of the fat upon the chest, exclaimed, in a sort of rapture, “Three inches of white fat on the brisket!—prime—prime—as I am a crowned sinner—and deil ane o' the lazy loons in but mysell! Seven—aught—aught tines on the antlers. By G—d, a hart of aught tines, and the first of the season! Bash and Battie, blessings on the heart's-root of ye! Buss me, my bairns, buss me.” The dogs accordingly fawned upon him, licked him with bloody jaws, and soon put him in such a state that it might have seemed treason had been doing its full work upon his anointed body. “Bide doun, with a mischief to ye—bide doun, with a wanion,” cried the king, almost overturned by the obstreperous caresses of the large stag-hounds. “But ye are just like ither folks, gie ye an inch and ye take an ell.—And wha may ye be, friend?” he said, now finding leisure to take a nearer view of Nigel, and observing what in his first emotion of silvan delight had escaped him,—“Ye are nane of our train, man. In the name of God, what the devil are ye?”

Lord Glenvarloch, who understood the necessary task for the moment, hung the king's horse's bridle on a tree branch and, kneeling down respectfully, turned the dead deer onto its back, holding it in that position while the king, too absorbed in his hunt to notice anything else, sliced down the front of the animal with his knife. After making a cross cut to check the amount of fat on the chest, he exclaimed, almost in ecstasy, “Three inches of white fat on the brisket!—excellent—excellent—just as I’m a crowned sinner—and not a single one of those lazy folks but me! Seven—eight—eight tines on the antlers. By God, a hart with eight tines, and the first of the season! Bash and Battie, blessings on you! Kiss me, my children, kiss me.” The dogs then fawned over him, licking him with bloody mouths, and soon got him into such a state that it might have seemed like treason was at work on his anointed body. “Stay down, you rascals—stay down, you troublemakers,” the king shouted, nearly toppled over by the boisterous affection of the large stag-hounds. “But you’re just like everyone else—give you an inch and you take a mile.—And who might you be, friend?” he said, finally taking a closer look at Nigel now that his initial excitement had worn off, observing what he had missed in his first burst of woodland joy, “You’re not one of our crew, man. In the name of God, what the devil are you?”

“An unfortunate man, sire,” replied Nigel.

“An unfortunate man, sir,” replied Nigel.

“I dare say that,” answered the king, snappishly, “or I wad have seen naething of you. My lieges keep a' their happiness to themselves; but let bowls row wrang wi' them, and I am sure to hear of it.”

“I’ll say this,” the king replied sharply, “or I wouldn’t have noticed you at all. My subjects keep all their happiness to themselves; but if something goes wrong, I’ll definitely hear about it.”

“And to whom else can we carry our complaints but to your Majesty, who is Heaven's vicegerent over us!” answered Nigel.

“And where else can we take our complaints except to your Majesty, who is Heaven's representative over us!” replied Nigel.

“Right, man, right—very weel spoken,” said the king; “but you should leave Heaven's vicegerent some quiet on earth, too.”

“Right, man, right—well said,” said the king; “but you should give Heaven's representative some peace on earth, too.”

“If your Majesty will look on me,” (for hitherto the king had been so busy, first with the dogs, and then with the mystic operation of breaking, in vulgar phrase, cutting up the deer, that he had scarce given his assistant above a transient glance,) “you will see whom necessity makes bold to avail himself of an opportunity which may never again occur.”

“If your Majesty will pay attention to me,” (because until now the king had been so occupied, first with the dogs, and then with the complex task of breaking, in simpler terms, cutting up the deer, that he had hardly given his assistant more than a brief look,) “you will see who necessity pushes to take advantage of an opportunity that might never come around again.”

King James looked; his blood left his cheek, though it continued stained with that of the animal which lay at his feet, he dropped the knife from his hand, cast behind him a faltering eye, as if he either meditated flight or looked out for assistance, and then exclaimed,—“Glenvarlochides! as sure as I was christened James Stewart. Here is a bonny spot of work, and me alone, and on foot too!” he added, bustling to get upon his horse.

King James looked; his blood drained from his face, even though it was still stained with that of the animal at his feet. He dropped the knife from his hand, glanced back with uncertainty, as if he was either thinking about running away or looking for help, and then exclaimed, “Glenvarlochides! As sure as I was baptized James Stewart. What a mess this is, and I'm all alone, and on foot too!” He added, rushing to get on his horse.

“Forgive me that I interrupt you, my liege,” said Nigel, placing himself between the king and his steed; “hear me but a moment!”

“Please forgive me for interrupting you, my king,” said Nigel, stepping in front of the king and his horse; “just listen to me for a moment!”

“I'll hear ye best on horseback,” said the king. “I canna hear a word on foot, man, not a word; and it is not seemly to stand cheek-for-chowl confronting us that gate. Bide out of our gate, sir, we charge you on your allegiance.—The deil's in them a', what can they be doing?”

“I'll hear you best on horseback,” said the king. “I can’t hear a word standing on foot, man, not a single word; and it isn’t proper to face us like that at the gate. Stay out of our way, sir, we insist on it for your own good. What in the world are they all doing?”

“By the crown that you wear, my liege,” said Nigel, “and for which my ancestors have worthily fought, I conjure you to be composed, and to hear me but a moment!”

“By the crown you wear, my lord,” said Nigel, “and for which my ancestors have bravely fought, I urge you to stay calm and listen to me for just a moment!”

That which he asked was entirely out of the monarch's power to grant. The timidity which he showed was not the plain downright cowardice, which, like a natural impulse, compels a man to flight, and which can excite little but pity or contempt, but a much more ludicrous, as well as more mingled sensation. The poor king was frightened at once and angry, desirous of securing his safety, and at the same time ashamed to compromise his dignity; so that without attending to what Lord Glenvarloch endeavoured to explain, he kept making at his horse, and repeating, “We are a free king, man,—we are a free king—we will not be controlled by a subject.—In the name of God, what keeps Steenie? And, praised be his name, they are coming—Hillo, ho—here, here—Steenie, Steenie!”

What he asked was completely beyond the king's ability to give. The fear he displayed wasn't just simple cowardice, which drives a person to run away and only garners pity or scorn, but a much more ridiculous and complicated mix of feelings. The poor king was both scared and angry, wanting to protect himself while also embarrassed to lose his dignity; so instead of listening to what Lord Glenvarloch was trying to explain, he continued to move toward his horse, repeating, “We are a free king, man—we are a free king—we will not be controlled by a subject. In the name of God, where is Steenie? And thank God they're coming—Hillo, ho—here, here—Steenie, Steenie!”

The Duke of Buckingham galloped up, followed by several courtiers and attendants of the royal chase, and commenced with his usual familiarity,—“I see Fortune has graced our dear dad, as usual.—But what's this?”

The Duke of Buckingham rode up quickly, followed by several courtiers and attendants of the royal hunt, and began with his usual casualness, “I see Fortune has favored our dear dad, as always. But what's this?”

“What is it? It is treason for what I ken,” said the king; “and a' your wyte, Steenie. Your dear dad and gossip might have been murdered, for what you care.”

“What is it? It’s treason from what I can tell,” said the king; “and it’s all your fault, Steenie. Your dear dad and friend could have been killed, and you don’t seem to care.”

“Murdered? Secure the villain!” exclaimed the Duke. “By Heaven, it is Olifaunt himself!” A dozen of the hunters dismounted at once, letting their horses run wild through the park. Some seized roughly on Lord Glenvarloch, who thought it folly to offer resistance, while others busied themselves with the king. “Are you wounded, my liege—are you wounded?”

“Murdered? Capture the culprit!” shouted the Duke. “By God, it’s Olifaunt himself!” A dozen of the hunters jumped off their horses, letting them roam freely through the park. Some roughly grabbed Lord Glenvarloch, who thought it was pointless to resist, while others focused on the king. “Are you hurt, my liege—are you hurt?”

“Not that I ken of,” said the king, in the paroxysm of his apprehension, (which, by the way, might be pardoned in one of so timorous a temper, and who, in his time, had been exposed to so many strange attempts)—“Not that I ken of—but search him—search him. I am sure I saw fire-arms under his cloak. I am sure I smelled powder—I am dooms sure of that.”

“Not that I know of,” said the king, in the height of his fear, (which, by the way, could be forgiven for someone so nervous, who had faced so many strange threats in his time)—“Not that I know of—but search him—search him. I’m sure I saw firearms under his cloak. I’m certain I smelled gunpowder—I’m absolutely sure of that.”

Lord Glenvarloch's cloak being stripped off, and his pistols discovered, a shout of wonder and of execration on the supposed criminal purpose, arose from the crowd now thickening every moment. Not that celebrated pistol, which, though resting on a bosom as gallant and as loyal as Nigel's, spread such cause less alarm among knights and dames at a late high solemnity—not that very pistol caused more temporary consternation than was so groundlessly excited by the arms which were taken from Lord Glenvarloch's person; and not Mhic-Allastar-More himself could repel with greater scorn and indignation, the insinuations that they were worn for any sinister purposes.

Lord Glenvarloch's cloak was pulled off, and his pistols were found, causing a mix of shock and anger from the crowd that was growing denser by the second. Not even that famous pistol, which, despite being held by a man as brave and loyal as Nigel, had stirred less fear among nobles and ladies at a recent important event—not that very pistol caused more worry than the arms taken from Lord Glenvarloch. And not even Mhic-Allastar-More himself could dismiss with greater disdain and outrage the suggestions that those weapons were carried for any bad intentions.

“Away with the wretch—the parricide—the bloody-minded villain!” was echoed on all hands; and the king, who naturally enough set the same value on his own life, at which it was, or seemed to be, rated by others, cried out, louder than all the rest, “Ay, ay—away with him. I have had enough of him and so has the country. But do him no bodily harm—and, for God's sake, sirs, if ye are sure ye have thoroughly disarmed him, put up your swords, dirks, and skenes, for you will certainly do each other a mischief.”

“Away with the scoundrel—the parricide—the cold-blooded villain!” was echoed all around; and the king, who understandably valued his own life, which was rated by others, shouted louder than anyone else, “Yes, yes—get rid of him. I’ve had enough of him, and so has the country. But don’t harm him—and, for God’s sake, gentlemen, if you’re sure you’ve completely disarmed him, put away your swords, daggers, and knives, because you’ll definitely hurt each other.”

There was a speedy sheathing of weapons at the king's command; for those who had hitherto been brandishing them in loyal bravado, began thereby to call to mind the extreme dislike which his Majesty nourished against naked steel, a foible which seemed to be as constitutional as his timidity, and was usually ascribed to the brutal murder of Rizzio having been perpetrated in his unfortunate mother's presence before he yet saw the light.

There was a quick putting away of weapons at the king's command; those who had been waving them around confidently started to remember the intense dislike that his Majesty had for exposed steel, a quirk that seemed as natural as his shyness and was often thought to be a result of the brutal murder of Rizzio happening in front of his unfortunate mother before he was even born.

At this moment, the Prince, who had been hunting in a different part of the then extensive Park, and had received some hasty and confused information of what was going forward, came rapidly up, with one or two noblemen in his train, and amongst others Lord Dalgarno. He sprung from his horse and asked eagerly if his father were wounded.

At this moment, the Prince, who had been hunting in another part of the vast Park, received some quick and unclear information about what was happening. He hurried over, accompanied by a couple of noblemen, including Lord Dalgarno. He jumped off his horse and asked urgently if his father had been hurt.

“Not that I am sensible of, Baby Charles—but a wee matter exhausted, with struggling single-handed with the assassin.—Steenie, fill up a cup of wine—the leathern bottle is hanging at our pommel.—Buss me, then, Baby Charles,” continued the monarch, after he had taken this cup of comfort; “O man, the Commonwealth and you have had a fair escape from the heavy and bloody loss of a dear father; for we are pater patriae, as weel as pater familias.-Quis desiderio sit pudor aut modus tarn cari capitis!-Woe is me, black cloth would have been dear in England, and dry een scarce!”

“Not that I feel it, Baby Charles—but I’m a bit spent from fighting off the assassin on my own. Steenie, pour me a cup of wine—the leather bottle is hanging at our side. Now kiss me, Baby Charles,” the king said after he had taken a drink for some comfort; “Oh man, the Commonwealth and you have narrowly escaped the heavy and bloody loss of a dear father; for we are pater patriae, as well as pater familias. Quis desiderio sit pudor aut modus tarn cari capitis! Woe is me, black cloth would have been costly in England, and dry eyes hard to find!”

And, at the very idea of the general grief which must have attended his death, the good-natured monarch cried heartily himself.

And just at the thought of the widespread sorrow that must have followed his death, the kind-hearted king wept genuinely.

“Is this possible?” said Charles, sternly; for his pride was hurt at his father's demeanour on the one hand, while on the other, he felt the resentment of a son and a subject, at the supposed attempt on the king's life. “Let some one speak who has seen what happened—My Lord of Buckingham!”

“Is this possible?” Charles said sternly; his pride was hurt by his father's attitude, and he also felt the anger of a son and a subject at the supposed attempt on the king's life. “Let someone speak who has seen what happened—My Lord of Buckingham!”

“I cannot say my lord,” replied the Duke, “that I saw any actual violence offered to his Majesty, else I should have avenged him on the spot.”

“I can’t say, my lord,” replied the Duke, “that I saw any actual violence done to his Majesty; otherwise, I would have avenged him right there.”

“You would have done wrong, then, in your zeal, George,” answered the Prince; “such offenders were better left to be dealt with by the laws. But was the villain not struggling with his Majesty?”

“You would have been wrong, then, in your enthusiasm, George,” the Prince replied; “such offenders are better left to be handled by the laws. But wasn’t the scoundrel struggling with his Majesty?”

“I cannot term it so, my lord,” said the Duke, who, with many faults, would have disdained an untruth; “he seemed to desire to detain his Majesty, who, on the contrary, appeared to wish to mount his horse; but they have found pistols on his person, contrary to the proclamation, and, as it proves to be by Nigel Olifaunt, of whose ungoverned disposition your Royal Highness has seen some samples, we seem to be justified in apprehending the worst.”

“I can’t say that, my lord,” said the Duke, who, despite his many faults, would have scorned a lie; “he seemed eager to keep His Majesty from leaving, while, on the other hand, His Majesty seemed ready to get on his horse. However, they found pistols on him, which goes against the announcement, and, as it’s shown by Nigel Olifaunt, whose reckless behavior your Royal Highness has witnessed, we seem justified in fearing the worst.”

“Nigel Olifaunt!” said the Prince; “can that unhappy man so soon have engaged in a new trespass? Let me see those pistols.”

“Nigel Olifaunt!” said the Prince. “Can that unfortunate man have already gotten himself into trouble again? Let me see those pistols.”

“Ye are not so unwise as to meddle with such snap-haunces, Baby Charles?” said James—“Do not give him them, Steenie—I command you on your allegiance! They may go off of their own accord, whilk often befalls.—You will do it, then?—Saw ever a man sic wilful bairns as we are cumbered with!—Havena we guardsmen and soldiers enow, but you must unload the weapons yoursell—you, the heir of our body and dignities, and sae mony men around that are paid for venturing life in our cause?”

“Are you really foolish enough to mess with those weapons, Baby Charles?” said James. “Don’t give them to him, Steenie—I order you on your loyalty! They can go off by themselves, which often happens. Will you do it then? Have you ever seen a man with such willful kids to deal with? Don’t we have enough guards and soldiers, but you have to handle the weapons yourself—you, the heir to our legacy and titles, with so many men around who are paid to risk their lives for our cause?”

But without regarding his father's exclamations, Prince Charles, with the obstinacy which characterised him in trifles, as well as matters of consequence, persisted in unloading the pistols with his own hand, of the double bullets with which each was charged. The hands of all around were held up in astonishment at the horror of the crime supposed to have been intended, and the escape which was presumed so narrow.

But ignoring his father's exclamations, Prince Charles, with the stubbornness that characterized him in both trivial and significant matters, continued to unload the pistols himself, removing the double bullets that each was loaded with. Everyone around him was shocked at the horror of the crime that was thought to have been intended, and the close escape that was assumed.

Nigel had not yet spoken a word—he now calmly desired to be heard.

Nigel still hadn't said anything—he now calmly wanted to be heard.

“To what purpose?” answered the Prince coldly. “You knew yourself accused of a heavy offence, and, instead of rendering yourself up to justice, in terms of the proclamation, you are here found intruding yourself on his Majesty's presence, and armed with unlawful weapons.”

“To what end?” replied the Prince coldly. “You knew you were accused of a serious crime, and instead of surrendering to justice, as stated in the proclamation, you’re here interrupting his Majesty while armed with illegal weapons.”

“May it please you, sir,” answered Nigel, “I wore these unhappy weapons for my own defence; and not very many hours since they were necessary to protect the lives of others.”

“Sir, if I may,” replied Nigel, “I carried these unfortunate weapons for my own protection; and just a few hours ago, they were needed to safeguard the lives of others.”

“Doubtless, my lord,” answered the Prince, still calm and unmoved,—“your late mode of life, and the associates with whom you have lived, have made you familiar with scenes and weapons of violence. But it is not to me you are to plead your cause.”

“Surely, my lord,” replied the Prince, still calm and unfazed, “the way you’ve lived and the company you’ve kept have exposed you to scenes and weapons of violence. But it’s not to me that you should make your case.”

“Hear me—hear me, noble Prince!” said Nigel, eagerly. “Hear me! You—even you yourself—may one day ask to be heard, and in vain.”

“Hear me—hear me, noble Prince!” said Nigel, eagerly. “Listen to me! You—even you yourself—might one day want to be listened to, and it could be in vain.”

“How, sir,” said the Prince, haughtily—“how am I to construe that, my lord?”

“How, sir,” said the Prince, arrogantly—“how am I supposed to understand that, my lord?”

“If not on earth, sir,” replied the prisoner, “yet to Heaven we must all pray for patient and favourable audience.”

“If not on earth, sir,” replied the prisoner, “then in Heaven, we must all pray for a patient and favorable hearing.”

“True, my lord,” said the Prince, bending his head with haughty acquiescence; “nor would I now refuse such audience to you, could it avail you. But you shall suffer no wrong. We will ourselves look into your case.”

“That's true, my lord,” said the Prince, nodding his head with a proud acceptance; “and I wouldn’t refuse you this audience now, even if it does help you. But you won’t be wronged. We will personally review your case.”

“Ay, ay,” answered the king, “he hath made appellatio ad Casarem—we will interrogate Glenvarlochides ourselves, time and place fitting; and, in the meanwhile, have him and his weapons away, for I am weary of the sight of them.”

“Ay, ay,” replied the king, “he has made appellatio ad Casarem—we will question Glenvarlochides ourselves, at an appropriate time and place; and, in the meantime, take him and his weapons away, for I’m tired of looking at them.”

In consequence of directions hastily given, Nigel was accordingly removed from the presence, where, however, his words had not altogether fallen to the ground. “This is a most strange matter, George,” said the Prince to the favourite; “this gentleman hath a good countenance, a happy presence, and much calm firmness in his look and speech. I cannot think he would attempt a crime so desperate and useless.”

As a result of quick instructions, Nigel was taken away from the scene, where, however, his words hadn't been completely ignored. “This is a very strange situation, George,” the Prince said to his favorite; “this man has a pleasant appearance, a cheerful demeanor, and a lot of steady confidence in his look and speech. I can't believe he would try something so desperate and pointless.”

“I profess neither love nor favour to the young man,” answered Buckingham, whose high-spirited ambition bore always an open character: “but I cannot but agree with your Highness, that our dear gossip hath been something hasty in apprehending personal danger from him.”

“I don’t express any love or favor towards the young man,” replied Buckingham, whose ambitious nature was always evident: “but I can’t help but agree with your Highness that our dear friend has been a bit quick to see personal danger from him.”

“By my saul, Steenie, ye are not blate, to say so!” said the king. “Do I not ken the smell of pouther, think ye? Who else nosed out the Fifth of November, save our royal selves? Cecil, and Suffolk, and all of them, were at fault, like sae mony mongrel tikes, when I puzzled it out: and trow ye that I cannot smell pouther? Why, 'sblood, man, Joannes Barclaius thought my ingine was in some measure inspiration, and terms his history of the plot, Series patefacti divinitus parricidii; and Spondanus, in like manner, saith of us, Divinitus evasit.”

“By my soul, Steenie, you’re not shy to say that!” said the king. “Don’t I know the smell of gunpowder, do you think? Who else figured out the Fifth of November, other than our royal selves? Cecil, Suffolk, and all of them were wrong, like so many mutts, while I worked it out: and do you really think I can’t smell gunpowder? Why, heavens, man, Joannes Barclaius thought my mind was somewhat inspired and called his account of the plot, Series patefacti divinitus parricidii; and Spondanus, likewise, says of us, Divinitus evasit.”

“The land was happy in your Majesty's escape,” said the Duke of Buckingham, “and not less in the quick wit which tracked that labyrinth of treason by so fine and almost invisible a clew.”

“The land was joyful about your Majesty's escape,” said the Duke of Buckingham, “and equally impressed by the sharp mind that followed the twists of that treachery with such a subtle and nearly invisible clue.”

“Saul, man, Steenie, ye are right! There are few youths have sic true judgment as you, respecting the wisdom of their elders; and, as for this fause, traitorous smaik, I doubt he is a hawk of the same nest. Saw ye not something papistical about him? Let them look that he bears not a crucifix, or some sic Roman trinket, about him.”

“Saul, man, Steenie, you’re right! There are few young men who have such good judgment as you when it comes to respecting the wisdom of their elders; and as for this false, traitorous weasel, I suspect he’s from the same flock. Didn’t you notice something papal about him? They’d better make sure he’s not carrying a crucifix or some other Roman trinket.”

“It would ill become me to attempt the exculpation of this unhappy man,” said Lord Dalgarno, “considering the height of his present attempt, which has made all true men's blood curdle in their veins. Yet I cannot avoid intimating, with all due submission to his Majesty's infallible judgment, in justice to one who showed himself formerly only my enemy, though he now displays himself in much blacker colours, that this Olifaunt always appeared to me more as a Puritan than as a Papist.”

“It wouldn’t be right for me to try to defend this unfortunate man,” said Lord Dalgarno, “given the severity of his current actions, which have made the blood of all decent men run cold. Still, I feel it’s necessary to mention, with all due respect to his Majesty's perfect judgment, in fairness to someone who was previously just my adversary, even though he now shows himself in much worse light, that this Olifaunt has always seemed more like a Puritan than a Papist.”

“Ah, Dalgarno, art thou there, man?” said the king. “And ye behoved to keep back, too, and leave us to our own natural strength and the care of Providence, when we were in grips with the villain!”

“Ah, Dalgarno, are you there, man?” said the king. “And you had to hold back, too, and let us rely on our own strength and the care of Providence when we were dealing with the villain!”

“Providence, may it please your most Gracious Majesty, would not fail to aid, in such a strait, the care of three weeping kingdoms,” said Lord Dalgarno.

“Your Majesty, with all due respect, Providence would surely help in such a difficult situation, considering the plight of three sorrowful kingdoms,” said Lord Dalgarno.

“Surely, man—surely,” replied the king—“but a sight of your father, with his long whinyard, would have been a blithe matter a short while syne; and in future we will aid the ends of Providence in our favour, by keeping near us two stout beef-eaters of the guard.—And so this Olifaunt is a Puritan?—not the less like to be a Papist, for all that—for extremities meet, as the scholiast proveth. There are, as I have proved in my book, Puritans of papistical principles—it is just a new tout on an old horn.”

“Of course, man—of course,” replied the king—“but seeing your father with his long weapon would have been quite a sight not long ago; and from now on, we’ll support the goals of Providence in our favor by keeping two strong guardsmen close to us. —So this Olifaunt is a Puritan?—he might as well be a Papist, considering that extremes meet, as the scholar proves. There are, as I’ve shown in my book, Puritans with Catholic principles—it’s just a new twist on an old story.”

Here the king was reminded by the Prince, who dreaded perhaps that he was going to recite the whole Basilicon Doron, that it would be best to move towards the Palace, and consider what was to be done for satisfying the public mind, in whom the morning's adventure was likely to excite much speculation. As they entered the gate of the Palace, a female bowed and presented a paper, which the king received, and, with a sort of groan, thrust it into his side pocket. The Prince expressed some curiosity to know its contents. “The valet in waiting will tell you them,” said the king, “when I strip off my cassock. D'ye think, Baby, that I can read all that is thrust into my hands? See to me, man”—(he pointed to the pockets of his great trunk breeches, which were stuffed with papers)—“We are like an ass—that we should so speak—stooping betwixt two burdens. Ay, ay, Asinus fortis accumbens inter terminos, as the Vulgate hath it—Ay, ay, Vidi terrain quod esset optima, et supposui humerum ad portandum, et factus sum tributis serviens—I saw this land of England, and became an overburdened king thereof.”

Here, the king was reminded by the Prince, who perhaps feared he was about to recite the entire Basilicon Doron, that it would be wise to head towards the Palace and think about how to address the public's concerns, as the morning's events were likely to spark a lot of speculation. As they passed through the gate of the Palace, a woman bowed and handed over a paper, which the king took and, with a sort of groan, stuffed into his side pocket. The Prince seemed curious about what it contained. “The valet on duty will tell you,” said the king, “when I take off my cassock. Do you think, Baby, that I can read everything that’s shoved into my hands? Look at me, man”—(he pointed to the pockets of his large breeches, which were crammed with papers)—“We are like a donkey—that we should say so—bending under two loads. Yes, yes, Asinus fortis accumbens inter terminos, as the Vulgate puts it—Yes, yes, Vidi terrain quod esset optima, et supposui humerum ad portandum, et factus sum tributis serviens—I saw this land of England and became an overburdened king of it.”

“You are indeed well loaded, my dear dad and gossip,” said the Duke of Buckingham, receiving the papers which King James emptied out of his pockets.

“You're definitely well-stocked, my dear dad and gossip,” said the Duke of Buckingham, taking the papers that King James pulled out of his pockets.

“Ay, ay,” continued the monarch; “take them to you per aversionem, bairns—the one pouch stuffed with petitions, t'other with pasquinadoes; a fine time we have on't. On my conscience, I believe the tale of Cadmus was hieroglyphical, and that the dragon's teeth whilk he sowed were the letters he invented. Ye are laughing, Baby Charles?—Mind what I say.—When I came here first frae our ain country, where the men are as rude as the weather, by my conscience, England was a bieldy bit; one would have thought the king had little to do but to walk by quiet waters, per aquam refectionis. But, I kenna how or why, the place is sair changed—read that libel upon us and on our regimen. The dragon's teeth are sown, Baby Charles; I pray God they bearna their armed harvest in your day, if I suld not live to see it. God forbid I should, for there will be an awful day's kemping at the shearing of them.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the king continued; “take them to you out of spite, kids—the one bag full of petitions, the other with attacks; what a time we have with it. Honestly, I believe the story of Cadmus was symbolic, and that the dragon’s teeth he planted were the letters he created. Are you laughing, Baby Charles?—Pay attention to what I say.—When I first came here from our own country, where the people are as rough as the weather, I swear England was a cozy place; one would think the king had nothing to do but to stroll by calm waters, for refreshment. But, I don’t know how or why, the place has changed drastically—read that slander against us and our government. The dragon’s teeth are sown, Baby Charles; I pray to God they don’t yield their armed harvest in your time, if I don’t live to see it. God forbid I do, because it will be a terrible day when the time comes to reap them.”

“I shall know how to stifle the crop in the blade,—ha, George?” said the Prince, turning to the favourite with a look expressive of some contempt for his father's apprehensions, and full of confidence in the superior firmness and decision of his own counsels.

“I will know how to crush the growth at its root,—ha, George?” said the Prince, turning to his favorite with a look that showed some disdain for his father's worries and was full of confidence in the greater firmness and decisiveness of his own advice.

While this discourse was passing, Nigel, in charge of a pursuivant-at-arms, was pushed and dragged through the small town, all the inhabitants of which, having been alarmed by the report of an attack on the king's life, now pressed forward to see the supposed traitor. Amid the confusion of the moment, he could descry the face of the victualler, arrested into a stare of stolid wonder, and that of the barber grinning betwixt horror and eager curiosity. He thought that he also had a glimpse of his waterman in the green jacket.

While this conversation was happening, Nigel, accompanied by a pursuivant-at-arms, was pushed and dragged through the small town. All the residents, having been alerted by news of an attack on the king's life, crowded around to see the supposed traitor. In the midst of the chaos, he spotted the face of the victualler, frozen in a look of blank amazement, and the barber grinning between horror and eager curiosity. He thought he even caught a glimpse of his waterman in the green jacket.

He had no time for remarks, being placed in a boat with the pursuivant and two yeomen of the guard, and rowed up the river as fast as the arms of six stout watermen could pull against the tide. They passed the groves of masts which even then astonished the stranger with the extended commerce of London, and now approached those low and blackened walls of curtain and bastion, which exhibit here and there a piece of ordnance, and here and there a solitary sentinel under arms, but have otherwise so little of the military terrors of a citadel. A projecting low-browed arch, which had loured over many an innocent, and many a guilty head, in similar circumstances, now spread its dark frowns over that of Nigel. The boat was put close up to the broad steps against which the tide was lapping its lazy wave. The warder on duty looked from the wicket, and spoke to the pursuivant in whispers. In a few minutes the Lieutenant of the Tower appeared, received, and granted an acknowledgment for the body of Nigel, Lord Glenvarloch.

He didn’t have time for comments as he was placed in a boat with the pursuivant and two guards, rowing up the river as fast as six strong watermen could pull against the tide. They passed the towering masts that amazed the stranger with London’s thriving commerce and approached the low, dark walls of the curtain and bastion, which had a couple of cannons and a lone guard on duty but lacked the imposing military presence of a fortress. An arch, which had loomed over many innocent and guilty heads in similar situations, now cast its dark shadow over Nigel. The boat maneuvered close to the wide steps where the tide was lazily lapping. The guard on duty looked through the gate and spoke to the pursuivant in hushed tones. In a few minutes, the Lieutenant of the Tower appeared, acknowledged, and accepted the body of Nigel, Lord Glenvarloch.










CHAPTER XXVIII

  Ye towers of Julius! London's lasting shame;
  With many a foul and midnight murder fed!
                           Gray.
  You towers of Julius! London's enduring disgrace;  
  Sustained by many a vile and midnight murder!  
                           Gray.

Such is the exclamation of Gray. Bandello, long before him, has said something like it; and the same sentiment must, in some shape or other, have frequently occurred to those, who, remembering the fate of other captives in that memorable state-prison, may have had but too much reason to anticipate their own. The dark and low arch, which seemed, like the entrance to Dante's Hell, to forbid hope of regress—the muttered sounds of the warders, and petty formalities observed in opening and shutting the grated wicket—the cold and constrained salutation of the Lieutenant of the fortress, who showed his prisoner that distant and measured respect which authority pays as a tax to decorum, all struck upon Nigel's heart, impressing on him the cruel consciousness of captivity.

Such is Gray's exclamation. Bandello, long before him, expressed something similar; and this feeling must have often crossed the minds of those who, recalling the fates of other prisoners in that infamous state prison, had good reason to expect the same for themselves. The dark and low arch, which seemed, like the entrance to Dante's Hell, to deny any hope of escape—the murmured sounds of the guards and the petty formalities involved in opening and closing the barred gate—the cold and stiff greeting from the Lieutenant of the fortress, who offered his prisoner that distant and measured respect that comes from authority as a nod to propriety, all weighed heavily on Nigel's heart, bringing home the harsh reality of his captivity.

“I am a prisoner,” he said, the words escaping from him almost unawares; “I am a prisoner, and in the Tower!”

“I’m a prisoner,” he said, the words slipping out almost without him realizing; “I’m a prisoner, and in the Tower!”

The Lieutenant bowed—“And it is my duty,” he said, “to show your lordship your chamber, where, I am compelled to say, my orders are to place you under some restraint. I will make it as easy as my duty permits.”

The Lieutenant bowed. “It’s my duty,” he said, “to show you to your room, where, I must say, my orders require me to keep you under some restraint. I’ll make it as easy as my duty allows.”

Nigel only bowed in return to this compliment, and followed the Lieutenant to the ancient buildings on the western side of the parade, and adjoining to the chapel, used in those days as a state-prison, but in ours as the mess-room of the officers of the guard upon duty at the fortress. The double doors were unlocked, the prisoner ascended a few steps, followed by the Lieutenant, and a warder of the higher class. They entered a large, but irregular, low-roofed, and dark apartment, exhibiting a very scanty proportion of furniture. The warder had orders to light a fire, and attend to Lord Glenvarloch's commands in all things consistent with his duty; and the Lieutenant, having made his reverence with the customary compliment, that he trusted his lordship would not long remain under his guardianship, took his leave.

Nigel simply bowed in response to the compliment and followed the Lieutenant to the old buildings on the western side of the parade, next to the chapel, which was used back then as a state prison but is now the mess hall for the officers on guard duty at the fortress. The double doors were unlocked, the prisoner climbed a few steps, followed by the Lieutenant and a senior warder. They entered a large but oddly shaped room with a low ceiling and dim lighting, showing very little furniture. The warder was given orders to light a fire and take care of Lord Glenvarloch's requests as long as they were within his duties; the Lieutenant, after giving the usual polite farewell and expressing his hope that Lord Glenvarloch wouldn’t have to stay under his watch for long, took his leave.

Nigel would have asked some questions of the warder, who remained to put the apartment into order, but the man had caught the spirit of his office. He seemed not to hear some of the prisoner's questions, though of the most ordinary kind, did not reply to others, and when he did speak, it was in a short and sullen tone, which, though not positively disrespectful, was such as at least to encourage no farther communication.

Nigel would have asked the guard some questions while he tidied up the room, but the guy was clearly in a mood. He seemed to ignore some of the prisoner’s questions, even the simplest ones, didn't answer others, and when he did talk, it was in a brief and grumpy tone. While it wasn't outright disrespectful, it definitely discouraged any further conversation.

Nigel left him, therefore, to do his work in silence, and proceeded to amuse himself with the melancholy task of deciphering the names, mottoes, verses, and hieroglyphics, with which his predecessors in captivity had covered the walls of their prison-house. There he saw the names of many a forgotten sufferer mingled with others which will continue in remembrance until English history shall perish. There were the pious effusions of the devout Catholic, poured forth on the eve of his sealing his profession at Tyburn, mingled with those of the firm Protestant, about to feed the fires of Smithfield. There the slender hand of the unfortunate Jane Grey, whose fate was to draw tears from future generations, might be contrasted with the bolder touch which impressed deep on the walls the Bear and Ragged Staff, the proud emblem of the proud Dudleys. It was like the roll of the prophet, a record of lamentation and mourning, and yet not unmixed with brief interjections of resignation, and sentences expressive of the firmest resolution.[Footnote: These memorials of illustrious criminals, or of innocent persons who had the fate of such, are still preserved, though at one time, in the course of repairing the rooms, they were in some danger of being whitewashed. They are preserved at present with becoming respect, and have most of them been engraved.—See BAYLEY'S History and Antiquities of the Tower of London.]

Nigel thus left him to work in silence and turned to the somber task of deciphering the names, mottos, verses, and symbols that previous captives had scratched onto the walls of their prison. He saw the names of many forgotten victims mixed in with others that will be remembered until English history fades away. There were heartfelt expressions from devout Catholics written the night before they faced execution at Tyburn, alongside words from steadfast Protestants headed to the flames of Smithfield. The delicate hand of the tragic Jane Grey, whose story would bring tears for generations, stood in contrast to the bold strokes that carved the Bear and Ragged Staff, the proud symbol of the Dudleys. It resembled the scroll of a prophet, a record of grief and mourning, yet not devoid of brief moments of acceptance and statements reflecting the strongest determination.[Footnote: These memorials of notable criminals or innocent individuals who suffered the same fate are still kept, although they were once at risk of being whitewashed during renovations. They are now preserved with appropriate respect, and most have been engraved.—See BAYLEY'S History and Antiquities of the Tower of London.]

In the sad task of examining the miseries of his predecessors in captivity, Lord Glenvarloch was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door of his prison-room. It was the warder, who came to inform him, that, by order of the Lieutenant of the Tower, his lordship was to have the society and attendance of a fellow-prisoner in his place of confinement. Nigel replied hastily, that he wished no attendance, and would rather be left alone; but the warder gave him to understand, with a kind of grumbling civility, that the Lieutenant was the best judge how his prisoners should be accommodated, and that he would have no trouble with the boy, who was such a slip of a thing as was scarce worth turning a key upon.—“There, Giles,” he said, “bring the child in.”

While Lord Glenvarloch was sadly going through the troubles of his predecessors in captivity, he was interrupted by the sudden opening of his prison room door. It was the guard, who came to let him know that, by order of the Lieutenant of the Tower, he was to have a fellow prisoner for company in his confinement. Nigel quickly replied that he didn’t want any company and preferred to be left alone; however, the guard made it clear, with a sort of grumbling politeness, that the Lieutenant knew best how to manage his prisoners and that he wouldn’t have any issues with the boy, who was such a skinny kid that he was hardly worth locking up. “There, Giles,” he said, “bring the child in.”

Another warder put the “lad before him” into the room, and, both withdrawing, bolt crashed and chain clanged, as they replaced these ponderous obstacles to freedom. The boy was clad in a grey suit of the finest cloth, laid down with silver lace, with a buff-coloured cloak of the same pattern. His cap, which was a Montero of black velvet, was pulled over his brows, and, with the profusion of his long ringlets, almost concealed his face. He stood on the very spot where the warder had quitted his collar, about two steps from the door of the apartment, his eyes fixed on the ground, and every joint trembling with confusion and terror. Nigel could well have dispensed with his society, but it was not in his nature to behold distress, whether of body or mind, without endeavouring to relieve it.

Another guard led the “kid” into the room, and as they both stepped back, the bolt slammed shut and the chain clanged, sealing off any chance of escape. The boy was dressed in a fine grey suit with silver lace, topped off with a buff-colored cloak of the same design. His cap, a black velvet Montero, was pulled down over his forehead, and his long curly hair almost covered his face. He stood exactly where the guard had left him, about two steps from the room’s door, staring at the ground, with every part of him trembling from embarrassment and fear. Nigel could have done without his company, but he couldn’t just sit by and watch someone suffer, whether physically or mentally, without trying to help.

“Cheer up,” he said, “my pretty lad. We are to be companions, it seems, for a little time—at least I trust your confinement will be short, since you are too young to have done aught to deserve long restraint. Come, come—do not be discouraged. Your hand is cold and trembles? the air is warm too—but it may be the damp of this darksome room. Place you by the fire.—What! weeping-ripe, my little man? I pray you, do not be a child. You have no beard yet, to be dishonoured by your tears, but yet you should not cry like a girl. Think you are only shut up for playing truant, and you can pass a day without weeping, surely.”

“Cheer up,” he said, “my handsome young friend. It looks like we’ll be companions for a little while—at least I hope your stay here will be short, since you’re too young to have done anything that deserves long punishment. Come on—don’t be discouraged. Your hand is cold and shaking? The air is warm, but it could be the dampness from this dark room. Let’s get you by the fire. What’s this? Crying, my little buddy? Please don’t be childish. You’re still too young to have your tears be seen as a shame, but you shouldn’t cry like a girl either. Just think of it as being grounded for skipping school, and surely you can get through the day without crying.”

The boy suffered himself to be led and seated by the fire, but, after retaining for a long time the very posture which he assumed in sitting down, he suddenly changed it in order to wring his hands with an air of the bitterest distress, and then, spreading them before his face, wept so plentifully, that the tears found their way in floods through his slender fingers.

The boy allowed himself to be guided and seated by the fire, but after holding the same position for a long time, he suddenly shifted to wring his hands in deep distress. Then, covering his face with his hands, he cried so hard that tears flowed in streams through his thin fingers.

Nigel was in some degree rendered insensible to his own situation, by his feelings for the intense agony by which so young and beautiful a creature seemed to be utterly overwhelmed; and, sitting down close beside the boy, he applied the most soothing terms which occurred, to endeavour to alleviate his distress; and, with an action which the difference of their age rendered natural, drew his hand kindly along the long hair of the disconsolate child. The lad appeared so shy as even to shrink from this slight approach to familiarity—yet, when Lord Glenvarloch, perceiving and allowing for his timidity, sat down on the farther side of the fire, he appeared to be more at his ease, and to hearken with some apparent interest to the arguments which from time to time Nigel used, to induce him to moderate, at least, the violence of his grief. As the boy listened, his tears, though they continued to flow freely, seemed to escape from their source more easily, his sobs were less convulsive, and became gradually changed into low sighs, which succeeded each other, indicating as much sorrow, perhaps, but less alarm, than his first transports had shown.

Nigel was somewhat oblivious to his own circumstances because he was overwhelmed by the intense pain of such a young and beautiful child. He sat down close to the boy and used the most comforting words he could think of to ease his distress. He gently ran his hand through the long hair of the heartbroken child, something that felt natural given their age difference. The lad seemed so shy that he flinched at this small gesture of comfort. However, when Lord Glenvarloch, understanding his shyness, moved to the other side of the fire, the boy seemed to relax more and listened with noticeable interest to Nigel's attempts to help him lessen the intensity of his grief. As the boy listened, his tears, although still flowing freely, seemed to come more easily, and his sobs became less intense, gradually turning into soft sighs that indicated as much sadness, perhaps, but less panic than his earlier outbursts.

“Tell me who and what you are, my pretty boy,” said Nigel.—“Consider me, child, as a companion, who wishes to be kind to you, would you but teach him how he can be so.”

“Tell me who you are and what you want, my pretty boy,” said Nigel. —“Think of me, kid, as a friend who wants to be nice to you, if only you’d show me how I can do that.”

“Sir—my lord, I mean,” answered the boy, very timidly, and in a voice which could scarce be heard even across the brief distance which divided them, “you are very good—and I—am very unhappy—”

“Sir—my lord, I mean,” replied the boy, very hesitantly, and in a voice that could barely be heard even across the short distance between them, “you are very kind—and I—am very unhappy—”

A second fit of tears interrupted what else he had intended to say, and it required a renewal of Lord Glenvarloch's good-natured expostulations and encouragements, to bring him once more to such composure as rendered the lad capable of expressing himself intelligibly. At length, however, he was able to say—“I am sensible of your goodness, my lord—and grateful for it—but I am a poor unhappy creature, and, what is worse, have myself only to thank for my misfortunes.”

A second wave of tears interrupted whatever else he wanted to say, and it took more of Lord Glenvarloch's kind words and encouragement to help him regain the composure necessary to express himself clearly. Eventually, though, he managed to say, “I appreciate your kindness, my lord—and I’m grateful for it—but I’m a miserable soul, and, to make things worse, I have only myself to blame for my troubles.”

“We are seldom absolutely miserable, my young acquaintance,” said Nigel, “without being ourselves more or less responsible for it—I may well say so, otherwise I had not been here to-day—but you are very young, and can have but little to answer for.”

“We're rarely completely miserable, my young friend,” said Nigel, “without being at least somewhat responsible for it—I can say that because otherwise I wouldn't be here today—but you're very young and can't have much to hold against you.”

“O sir! I wish I could say so—I have been self-willed and obstinate—and rash and ungovernable—and now—now, how dearly do I pay the price of it!”

“O sir! I wish I could say that—I’ve been headstrong and stubborn—and reckless and uncontrollable—and now—now, how dearly I’m paying for it!”

“Pshaw, my boy,” replied Nigel; “this must be some childish frolic—some breaking out of bounds—some truant trick—And yet how should any of these have brought you to the Tower?—There is something mysterious about you, young man, which I must inquire into.”

“Come on, kid,” replied Nigel; “this must be some childish prank—some breaking of the rules—some skipping school trick. But how could any of those things have brought you to the Tower? There’s something mysterious about you, young man, and I need to figure it out.”

“Indeed, indeed, my lord, there is no harm about me,” said the boy, more moved it would seem to confession by the last words, by which he seemed considerably alarmed, than by all the kind expostulations and arguments which Nigel had previously used. “I am innocent—that is, I have done wrong, but nothing to deserve being in this frightful place.”

“Really, my lord, I’m fine,” said the boy, appearing more impacted by the last words that clearly scared him than by all the kind arguments and assurances Nigel had offered before. “I’m innocent—I mean, I’ve made mistakes, but nothing that warrants being in this terrible place.”

“Tell me the truth, then,” said Nigel, in a tone in which command mingled with encouragement; “you have nothing to fear from me, and as little to hope, perhaps—yet, placed as I am, I would know with whom I speak.”

“Tell me the truth, then,” said Nigel, with a tone that mixed command and encouragement; “you have nothing to fear from me, and maybe not much to hope for either—yet, considering my position, I want to know who I’m talking to.”

“With an unhappy—boy, sir—and idle and truantly disposed, as your lordship said,” answered the lad, looking up, and showing a countenance in which paleness and blushes succeeded each other, as fear and shamefacedness alternately had influence. “I left my father's house without leave, to see the king hunt in the Park at Greenwich; there came a cry of treason, and all the gates were shut—I was frightened, and hid myself in a thicket, and I was found by some of the rangers and examined—and they said I gave no good account of myself—and so I was sent hither.”

“With a troubled—boy, sir—and lazy and misbehaving, as your lordship mentioned,” replied the kid, looking up and displaying a face where paleness and blushes affected each other as fear and embarrassment took turns. “I left my dad’s house without permission to watch the king hunt in the Park at Greenwich; then there was a shout of treason, and all the gates were locked—I got scared and hid in a thicket, and some of the rangers found me and questioned me—and they said I didn’t have a good explanation for myself—and so I was sent here.”

“I am an unhappy, a most unhappy being,” said Lord Glenvarloch, rising and walking through the apartment; “nothing approaches me but shares my own bad fate! Death and imprisonment dog my steps, and involve all who are found near me. Yet this boy's story sounds strangely.—You say you were examined, my young friend—Let me pray you to say whether you told your name, and your means of gaining admission into the Park—if so, they surely would not have detained you?”

“I am an unhappy, a very unhappy person,” said Lord Glenvarloch, getting up and walking around the room; “nothing comes near me that doesn’t share my unfortunate fate! Death and imprisonment follow me everywhere, affecting everyone close to me. Yet this boy's story sounds odd. —You say you were questioned, my young friend—Please tell me if you gave your name and how you managed to get into the Park—if you did, they surely wouldn’t have kept you?”

“O, my lord,” said the boy, “I took care not to tell them the name of the friend that let me in; and as to my father—I would not he knew where I now am for all the wealth in London!”

“O, my lord,” said the boy, “I made sure not to tell them the name of the friend who let me in; and as for my father—I wouldn’t want him to know where I am now for all the riches in London!”

“But do you not expect,” said Nigel, “that they will dismiss you till you let them know who and what you are?”

“But don’t you think,” said Nigel, “that they’ll ignore you until you tell them who you are and what you’re about?”

“What good will it do them to keep so useless a creature as myself?” said the boy; “they must let me go, were it but out of shame.”

“What good will it do them to keep someone as useless as me?” the boy said. “They have to let me go, even if it’s just out of shame.”

“Do not trust to that—tell me your name and station—I will communicate them to the Lieutenant—he is a man of quality and honour, and will not only be willing to procure your liberation, but also, I have no doubt, will intercede with your father. I am partly answerable for such poor aid as I can afford, to get you out of this embarrassment, since I occasioned the alarm owing to which you were arrested; so tell me your name, and your father's name.”

“Don't rely on that—tell me your name and status—I’ll pass them on to the Lieutenant—he’s a man of dignity and honor, and not only will he be keen to secure your release, but I’m sure he’ll also speak to your father on your behalf. I feel partially responsible for the little help I can provide to get you out of this situation, since I caused the disturbance that led to your arrest; so just tell me your name and your father’s name.”

“My name to you? O never, never!” answered the boy, in a tone of deep emotion, the cause of which Nigel could not comprehend.

“My name to you? Oh, never, never!” the boy replied, his voice filled with deep emotion that Nigel couldn't understand.

“Are you so much afraid of me, young man,” he replied, “because I am here accused and a prisoner? Consider, a man may be both, and deserve neither suspicion nor restraint. Why should you distrust me? You seem friendless, and I am myself so much in the same circumstances, that I cannot but pity your situation when I reflect on my own. Be wise; I have spoken kindly to you—I mean as kindly as I speak.”

“Are you really that afraid of me, young man?” he replied. “Just because I’m accused and a prisoner? Think about it — a person can be both and still not deserve any suspicion or confinement. Why do you distrust me? You look like you have no one, and I find myself in a similar situation, so I can’t help but feel for you when I think about my own circumstances. Be smart; I’ve spoken to you kindly — at least as kindly as I know how.”

“O, I doubt it not, I doubt it not, my lord,” said the boy, “and I could tell you all—that is, almost all.”

“O, I don’t doubt it, I don’t doubt it, my lord,” said the boy, “and I could tell you everything—that is, almost everything.”

“Tell me nothing, my young friend, excepting what may assist me in being useful to you,” said Nigel.

“Just tell me what can help me be useful to you, my young friend,” said Nigel.

“You are generous, my lord,” said the boy; “and I am sure—O sure, I might safely trust to your honour—But yet—but yet—I am so sore beset—I have been so rash, so unguarded—I can never tell you of my folly. Besides, I have already told too much to one whose heart I thought I had moved—yet I find myself here.”

“You're really generous, my lord,” said the boy; “and I’m sure—oh, I can definitely trust your honor—but still—but still—I’m in such a tough spot—I’ve been so reckless, so careless—I can never explain my foolishness to you. Besides, I’ve already shared too much with someone whose heart I thought I had touched—yet here I am.”

“To whom did you make this disclosure?” said Nigel.

“To whom did you share this information?” said Nigel.

“I dare not tell,” replied the youth.

“I can't say,” replied the young man.

“There is something singular about you, my young friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, withdrawing with a gentle degree of compulsion the hand with which the boy had again covered his eyes; “do not pain yourself with thinking on your situation just at present—your pulse is high, and your hand feverish—lay yourself on yonder pallet, and try to compose yourself to sleep. It is the readiest and best remedy for the fancies with which you are worrying yourself.”

“There's something unique about you, my young friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, gently pulling away the hand the boy had used to cover his eyes again. “Don't stress about your situation right now—your pulse is racing, and your hand feels hot. Just lie down over there on that pallet and try to relax and get some sleep. It's the quickest and best way to deal with the worries that's bothering you.”

“I thank you for your considerate kindness, my lord,” said the boy; “with your leave I will remain for a little space quiet in this chair—I am better thus than on the couch. I can think undisturbedly on what I have done, and have still to do; and if God sends slumber to a creature so exhausted, it shall be most welcome.”

“I appreciate your thoughtful kindness, my lord,” said the boy; “if it’s alright with you, I’d like to stay quietly in this chair for a while—I’m better off here than on the couch. I can think clearly about what I’ve done and what I still need to do; and if God grants sleep to someone so worn out, I’ll gladly accept it.”

So saying, the boy drew his hand from Lord Nigel's, and, drawing around him and partly over his face the folds of his ample cloak, he resigned himself to sleep or meditation, while his companion, notwithstanding the exhausting scenes of this and the preceding day, continued his pensive walk up and down the apartment.

So saying, the boy pulled his hand away from Lord Nigel's, and, wrapping himself and partly covering his face with the folds of his large cloak, he settled in for sleep or reflection, while his companion, despite the tiring events of this and the previous day, kept pacing thoughtfully back and forth in the room.

Every reader has experienced, that times occur, when far from being lord of external circumstances, man is unable to rule even the wayward realm of his own thoughts. It was Nigel's natural wish to consider his own situation coolly, and fix on the course which it became him as a man of sense and courage to adopt; and yet, in spite of himself, and notwithstanding the deep interest of the critical state in which he was placed, it did so happen that his fellow-prisoner's situation occupied more of his thoughts than did his own. There was no accounting for this wandering of the imagination, but also there was no striving with it. The pleading tones of one of the sweetest voices he had ever heard, still rung in his ear, though it seemed that sleep had now fettered the tongue of the speaker. He drew near on tiptoe to satisfy himself whether it were so. The folds of the cloak hid the lower part of his face entirely; but the bonnet, which had fallen a little aside, permitted him to see the forehead streaked with blue veins, the closed eyes, and the long silken eyelashes.

Every reader knows that there are times when, far from being in control of external circumstances, a person can't even manage their own errant thoughts. Nigel naturally wanted to calmly assess his own situation and determine the course of action that a sensible and brave person should take. Yet, despite his intentions and the serious nature of his predicament, he found himself thinking more about his fellow inmate's situation than his own. There was no explaining this wandering of his mind, nor could he fight it. The pleading tones of one of the sweetest voices he had ever heard still echoed in his ears, even though it seemed sleep had now silenced the speaker. He tiptoed closer to confirm if that was the case. The folds of the cloak completely concealed the lower part of the speaker's face, but the bonnet, which had slipped to the side, allowed him to see the forehead marked with blue veins, the closed eyes, and the long silken eyelashes.

“Poor child,” said Nigel to himself, as he looked on him, nestled up as it were in the folds of his mantle, “the dew is yet on thy eyelashes, and thou hast fairly wept thyself asleep. Sorrow is a rough nurse to one so young and delicate as thou art. Peace be to thy slumbers, I will not disturb them. My own misfortunes require my attention, and it is to their contemplation that I must resign myself.”

“Poor child,” Nigel said to himself, as he watched him, curled up in the folds of his cloak, “the dew is still on your eyelashes, and you’ve cried yourself to sleep. Grief is a harsh caretaker for someone as young and fragile as you. Rest peacefully; I won’t disturb you. My own troubles need my focus, and I have to turn my thoughts to them.”

He attempted to do so, but was crossed at every turn by conjectures which intruded themselves as before, and which all regarded the sleeper rather than himself. He was angry and vexed, and expostulated with himself concerning the overweening interest which he took in the concerns of one of whom he knew nothing, saving that the boy was forced into his company, perhaps as a spy, by those to whose custody he was committed—but the spell could not be broken, and the thoughts which he struggled to dismiss, continued to haunt him.

He tried to do so, but was blocked at every turn by thoughts that kept intruding, all focused on the sleeper rather than himself. He was frustrated and annoyed, questioning why he was so overly interested in someone he knew nothing about, except that the boy had been forced into his presence, possibly as a spy, by those responsible for him—but the hold it had on him couldn't be shaken, and the thoughts he tried to push away kept haunting him.

Thus passed half an hour, or more; at the conclusion of which, the harsh sound of the revolving bolts was again heard, and the voice of the warder announced that a man desired to speak with Lord Glenvarloch. “A man to speak with me, under my present circumstances!—Who can it be?” And John Christie, his landlord of Paul's Wharf, resolved his doubts, by entering the apartment. “Welcome—most welcome, mine honest landlord!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “How could I have dreamt of seeing you in my present close lodgings?” And at the same time, with the frankness of old kindness, he walked up to Christie and offered his hand; but John started back as from the look of a basilisk.

Thus half an hour passed, or more; and at the end of that time, the loud sound of the sliding bolts was heard again, and the voice of the guard announced that a man wanted to speak with Lord Glenvarloch. “A man wants to talk to me, given my current situation!—Who could it be?” And John Christie, his landlord from Paul's Wharf, resolved this mystery by entering the room. “Welcome—very welcome, my good landlord!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “How could I have imagined seeing you in my current cramped quarters?” At the same time, with the openness of old friendship, he approached Christie and reached out his hand; but John recoiled as if from the gaze of a serpent.

“Keep your courtesies to yourself, my lord,” said he, gruffly; “I have had as many of them already as may serve me for my life.”

“Keep your niceties to yourself, my lord,” he said gruffly; “I’ve had enough of them already to last me a lifetime.”

“Why, Master Christie,” said Nigel, “what means this? I trust I have not offended you?”

“Why, Master Christie,” said Nigel, “what’s going on? I hope I haven’t upset you?”

“Ask me no questions, my lord,” said Christie, bluntly. “I am a man of peace—I came not hither to wrangle with you at this place and season. Just suppose that I am well informed of all the obligements from your honour's nobleness, and then acquaint me, in as few words as may be, where is the unhappy woman—What have you done with her?”

“Don’t ask me any questions, my lord,” Christie said plainly. “I’m a man of peace—I didn’t come here to argue with you right now. Just assume that I know all about your noble obligations, and then tell me, as briefly as possible, where the unfortunate woman is—What have you done with her?”

“What have I done with her!” said Lord Glenvarloch—“Done with whom? I know not what you are speaking of.”

“What have I done with her?” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Done with whom? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, yes, my lord,” said Christie; “play surprise as well as you will, you must have some guess that I am speaking of the poor fool that was my wife, till she became your lordship's light-o'-love.”

“Oh, yes, my lord,” said Christie; “no matter how well you play innocent, you must have some idea that I’m talking about the poor fool who was my wife, until she became your lordship's fling.”

“Your wife! Has your wife left you? and, if she has, do you come to ask her of me?”

“Your wife! Has she left you? And if she has, are you here to ask me about her?”

“Yes, my lord, singular as it may seem,” returned Christie, in a tone of bitter irony, and with a sort of grin widely discording from the discomposure of his features, the gleam of his eye, and the froth which stood on his lip, “I do come to make that demand of your lordship. Doubtless, you are surprised I should take the trouble; but, I cannot tell, great men and little men think differently. She has lain in my bosom, and drunk of my cup; and, such as she is, I cannot forget that—though I will never see her again—she must not starve, my lord, or do worse, to gain bread, though I reckon your lordship may think I am robbing the public in trying to change her courses.”

“Yes, my lord, as strange as it may sound,” Christie responded with a tone of bitter sarcasm and a grin that sharply contrasted with his troubled expression, the sparkle in his eye, and the foam on his lip, “I am here to make that request of you. Surely, you’re surprised I would bother; however, I can't say, great people and regular folks see things differently. She has been close to me and shared in my life; and, no matter what she is now, I can’t forget that—though I will never see her again—she shouldn’t starve, my lord, or do anything worse to survive, even if you might think I’m taking from the public by trying to change her ways.”

“By my faith as a Christian, by my honour as a gentleman,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “if aught amiss has chanced with your wife, I know nothing of it. I trust in Heaven you are as much mistaken in imputing guilt to her, as in supposing me her partner in it.”

“By my faith as a Christian, by my honor as a gentleman,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “if anything wrong has happened with your wife, I know nothing about it. I trust in Heaven that you are as mistaken in blaming her as you are in thinking I'm involved in it.”

“Fie! fie! my lord,” said Christie, “why will you make it so tough? She is but the wife of a clod-pated old chandler, who was idiot enough to marry a wench twenty years younger than himself. Your lordship cannot have more glory by it than you have had already; and, as for advantage and solace, I take it Dame Nelly is now unnecessary to your gratification. I should be sorry to interrupt the course of your pleasure; an old wittol should have more consideration of his condition. But, your precious lordship being mewed up here among other choice jewels of the kingdom, Dame Nelly cannot, I take it, be admitted to share the hours of dalliance which”—Here the incensed husband stammered, broke off his tone of irony, and proceeded, striking his staff against the ground—“O that these false limbs of yours, which I wish had been hamstrung when they first crossed my honest threshold, were free from the fetters they have well deserved! I would give you the odds of your youth, and your weapon, and would bequeath my soul to the foul fiend if I, with this piece of oak, did not make you such an example to all ungrateful, pick-thank courtiers, that it should be a proverb to the end of time, how John Christie swaddled his wife's fine leman!”

“Come on, my lord,” Christie said, “why do you make this so difficult? She’s just the wife of a clueless old merchant who was foolish enough to marry a woman twenty years younger than himself. You won’t gain any more glory from this than you already have; and as for pleasure and comfort, I believe Dame Nelly is no longer needed for your satisfaction. I wouldn’t want to disrupt your enjoyment; an old fool should be more mindful of his situation. But since your esteemed lordship is stuck up here with other prized treasures of the kingdom, I assume Dame Nelly is not allowed to share in your intimate moments which—” Here the furious husband stammered, lost his sarcastic tone, and started striking his staff against the ground—“Oh, how I wish these false limbs of yours, which I wish had been broken when they first crossed my honest door, were free from the chains they truly deserve! I would give you the advantage of your youth and your weapon, and I would sell my soul to the devil if I didn’t use this piece of wood to make you such an example to all ungrateful, sycophantic courtiers that it would become a saying for all time, how John Christie dealt with his wife's lover!”

“I understand not your insolence,” said Nigel, “but I forgive it, because you labour under some strange delusion. In so far as I can comprehend your vehement charge, it is entirely undeserved on my part. You seem to impute to me the seduction of your wife—I trust she is innocent. For me, at least, she is as innocent as an angel in bliss. I never thought of her—never touched her hand or cheek, save in honourable courtesy.”

“I don’t understand your disrespect,” said Nigel, “but I’ll overlook it because you seem to be under some strange misunderstanding. As far as I can tell from your intense accusation, it’s completely unfounded on my part. You appear to blame me for seducing your wife—I hope she is innocent. To me, she is as pure as an angel in bliss. I never considered her—I’ve never touched her hand or cheek, except in a respectful way.”

“O, ay—courtesy!—that is the very word. She always praised your lordship's honourable courtesy. Ye have cozened me between ye, with your courtesy. My lord—my lord, you came to us no very wealthy man—you know it. It was for no lucre of gain I took you and your swash-buckler, your Don Diego yonder, under my poor roof. I never cared if the little room were let or no; I could live without it. If you could not have paid for it, you should never have been asked. All the wharf knows John Christie has the means and spirit to do a kindness. When you first darkened my honest doorway, I was as happy as a man need to be, who is no youngster, and has the rheumatism. Nelly was the kindest and best-humoured wench—we might have a word now and then about a gown or a ribbon, but a kinder soul on the whole, and a more careful, considering her years, till you come—and what is she now!—But I will not be a fool to cry, if I can help it. What she is, is not the question, but where she is; and that I must learn, sir, of you.”

“Oh, yes—courtesy!—that’s the exact word. She always praised your lordship's honorable courtesy. You’ve deceived me with your courtesy. My lord—my lord, you came to us not a very wealthy man—you know that. I didn’t take you and your braggart, your Don Diego over there, into my humble home for any profit. I never cared if the little room was rented or not; I could live without it. If you couldn’t pay for it, you should never have been asked. Everyone at the wharf knows John Christie has the means and the spirit to do a kindness. When you first showed up at my honest doorstep, I was as happy as a man can be, who is no spring chicken and has rheumatism. Nelly was the kindest and most good-natured girl—we could have a chat now and then about a dress or a ribbon, but she was a kinder soul overall, and more thoughtful, considering her age, until you arrived—and what is she now!—But I won’t be a fool and cry, if I can help it. What she is, isn’t the question, but where she is; and that I must find out, sir, from you.”

“How can you, when I tell you,” replied Nigel, “that I am as ignorant as yourself, or rather much more so? Till this moment, I never heard of any disagreement betwixt your dame and you.”

“How can you, when I tell you,” replied Nigel, “that I’m just as clueless as you, or even more so? Until now, I had no idea there was any argument between you and your lady.”

“That is a lie,” said John Christie, bluntly.

"That's a lie," John Christie said flatly.

“How, you base villain!” said Lord Glenvarloch—“do you presume on my situation? If it were not that I hold you mad, and perhaps made so by some wrong sustained, you should find my being weaponless were no protection, I would beat your brains out against the wall.”

“How, you lowlife!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Do you think you can take advantage of my situation? If I didn’t believe you were crazy, and maybe driven mad by some injury you’ve suffered, you’d see that my being unarmed would be no protection; I would smash your brains out against the wall.”

“Ay, ay,” answered Christie, “bully as ye list. Ye have been at the ordinaries, and in Alsatia, and learned the ruffian's rant, I doubt not. But I repeat, you have spoken an untruth, when you said you knew not of my wife's falsehood; for, when you were twitted with it among your gay mates, it was a common jest among you, and your lordship took all the credit they would give you for your gallantry and gratitude.”

“Ay, ay,” Christie replied, “talk big if you want. You've been hanging out at the taverns and in Alsatia, and I’m sure you’ve picked up the rough talk. But I’ll say it again, you’re lying when you claim you didn’t know about my wife’s dishonesty; because when your fancy friends were joking about it, you took all the praise they gave you for being brave and grateful.”

There was a mixture of truth in this part of the charge which disconcerted Lord Glenvarloch exceedingly; for he could not, as a man of honour, deny that Lord Dalgarno, and others, had occasionally jested with him on the subject of Dame Nelly, and that, though he had not played exactly le fanfaron des vices qu'il n'avoit pas, he had not at least been sufficiently anxious to clear himself of the suspicion of such a crime to men who considered it as a merit. It was therefore with some hesitation, and in a sort of qualifying tone, that he admitted that some idle jests had passed upon such a supposition, although without the least foundation in truth. John Christie would not listen to his vindication any longer. “By your own account,” he said, “you permitted lies to be told of you injest. How do I know you are speaking truth, now you are serious? You thought it, I suppose, a fine thing to wear the reputation of having dishonoured an honest family,—who will not think that you had real grounds for your base bravado to rest upon? I will not believe otherwise for one, and therefore, my lord, mark what I have to say. You are now yourself in trouble—As you hope to come through it safely, and without loss of life and property, tell me where this unhappy woman is. Tell me, if you hope for heaven—tell me, if you fear hell—tell me, as you would not have the curse of an utterly ruined woman, and a broken-hearted man, attend you through life, and bear witness against you at the Great Day, which shall come after death. You are moved, my lord, I see it. I cannot forget the wrong you have done me. I cannot even promise to forgive it—but—tell me, and you shall never see me again, or hear more of my reproaches.”

There was a mix of truth in this part of the accusation that deeply unsettled Lord Glenvarloch; as a man of honor, he couldn't deny that Lord Dalgarno and others had occasionally joked with him about Dame Nelly. Although he hadn't exactly acted like "the braggart of vices he didn't have," he also hadn't tried hard enough to clear himself of the suspicion of such a crime, especially among those who viewed it as a point of pride. So, with some hesitation and a somewhat qualifying tone, he admitted that some lighthearted jokes had been made based on that assumption, despite having no basis in truth. John Christie refused to listen to his defense any longer. “According to your own words,” he said, “you allowed people to spread lies about you in jest. How do I know you’re telling the truth now that you’re serious? You thought it was clever to have a reputation for dishonoring an honest family—who wouldn’t think you had real reasons for your shameful bragging? I won’t believe otherwise, and therefore, my lord, pay attention to what I say. You are in trouble now—As you hope to get through this safely, without losing your life or property, tell me where this unhappy woman is. Tell me, if you hope for heaven—tell me, if you fear hell—tell me, if you don’t want the curse of a completely ruined woman and a heartbroken man to follow you through life and testify against you on the Great Day that comes after death. I can see you’re affected, my lord. I can’t forget the wrong you’ve done me. I can’t even promise to forgive it—but—tell me, and you’ll never see me again or hear any more of my criticisms.”

“Unfortunate man,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you have said more, far more than enough, to move me deeply. Were I at liberty, I would lend you my best aid to search out him who has wronged you, the rather that I do suspect my having been your lodger has been in some degree the remote cause of bringing the spoiler into the sheepfold.”

“Unfortunate man,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you’ve said more than enough to truly affect me. If I were free, I would offer you all my help to find the person who wronged you, especially since I suspect that my presence as your lodger might have somehow contributed to bringing the villain into the fold.”

“I am glad your lordship grants me so much,” said John Christie, resuming the tone of embittered irony with which he had opened the singular conversation; “I will spare you farther reproach and remonstrance—your mind is made up, and so is mine.—So, ho, warder!” The warder entered, and John went on,—“I want to get out, brother. Look well to your charge—it were better that half the wild beasts in their dens yonder were turned loose upon Tower Hill, than that this same smooth-faced, civil-spoken gentleman, were again returned to honest men's company!”

“I’m glad you’re giving me so much,” said John Christie, slipping back into the bitterly ironic tone he’d started the unusual conversation with. “I won’t bother you further with complaints and arguments—your mind is made up, and so is mine. So, hey, guard!” The guard entered, and John continued, “I want to get out, brother. Keep a close eye on your duty—it would be better for half the wild animals in their dens over there to be let loose on Tower Hill than for this same smooth-faced, polite gentleman to be allowed back among decent people!”

So saying, he hastily left the apartment; and Nigel had full leisure to lament the waywardness of his fate, which seemed never to tire of persecuting him for crimes of which he was innocent, and investing him with the appearances of guilt which his mind abhorred. He could not, however, help acknowledging to himself, that all the pain which he might sustain from the present accusation of John Christie, was so far deserved, from his having suffered himself, out of vanity, or rather an unwillingness to encounter ridicule, to be supposed capable of a base inhospitable crime, merely because fools called it an affair of gallantry; and it was no balsam to the wound, when he recollected what Richie had told him of his having been ridiculed behind his back by the gallants of the ordinary, for affecting the reputation of an intrigue which he had not in reality spirit enough to have carried on. His simulation had, in a word, placed him in the unlucky predicament of being rallied as a braggart amongst the dissipated youths, with whom the reality of the amour would have given him credit; whilst, on the other hand, he was branded as an inhospitable seducer by the injured husband, who was obstinately persuaded of his guilt.

So saying, he quickly left the apartment; and Nigel had plenty of time to mourn the unpredictability of his fate, which never seemed to tire of tormenting him for crimes he didn't commit, making him appear guilty in ways he detested. However, he couldn’t help but admit to himself that all the pain he might feel from John Christie’s current accusation was, in a way, deserved. He had allowed himself, out of vanity—or rather, a reluctance to face mockery—to be seen as capable of a disgraceful, unwelcoming crime, just because some fools called it a matter of romance. It didn’t help at all when he remembered what Richie had told him about being ridiculed behind his back by the flashy young men for pretending to have an affair that he didn’t actually have the courage to pursue. In short, his pretending had put him in the unfortunate position of being teased as a braggart among the reckless youth, who would have respected him if there had been a real romance, while on the other hand, he was labeled as an unwelcoming seducer by the wronged husband, who stubbornly believed in his guilt.










CHAPTER XXIX

  How fares the man on whom good men would look
  With eyes where scorn and censure combated,
  But that kind Christian love hath taught the lesson—
  That they who merit most contempt and hate,
  Do most deserve our pity.—
                              Old Play.
  How is the man whom good people would view  
  With eyes where scorn and judgment fight,  
  But that kind Christian love has taught the lesson—  
  That those who deserve the most contempt and hatred,  
  Most deserve our pity.—  
                              Old Play.

It might have seemed natural that the visit of John Christie should have entirely diverted Nigel's attention from his slumbering companion, and, for a time, such was the immediate effect of the chain of new ideas which the incident introduced; yet, soon after the injured man had departed, Lord Glenvarloch began to think it extraordinary that the boy should have slept so soundly, while they talked loudly in his vicinity. Yet he certainly did not appear to have stirred. Was he well—was he only feigning sleep? He went close to him to make his observations, and perceived that he had wept, and was still weeping, though his eyes were closed. He touched him gently on the shoulder—the boy shrunk from his touch, but did not awake. He pulled him harder, and asked him if he was sleeping.

It might have seemed natural that John Christie's visit would completely take Nigel's attention away from his sleeping companion, and for a while, that was the immediate impact of the new ideas sparked by the incident; however, shortly after the injured man left, Lord Glenvarloch found it strange that the boy had slept so deeply while they talked loudly nearby. Yet he certainly didn't seem to have moved. Was he okay—was he just pretending to sleep? He moved closer to observe him and noticed that the boy had been crying and was still crying, even though his eyes were shut. He gently touched the boy on the shoulder—the boy flinched at his touch but didn't wake up. He pulled him harder and asked if he was sleeping.

“Do they waken folk in your country to know whether they are asleep or no?” said the boy, in a peevish tone.

“Do they wake people in your country to see if they’re asleep or not?” said the boy, in an annoyed tone.

“No, my young sir,” answered Nigel; “but when they weep in the manner you do in your sleep, they awaken them to see what ails them.”

“No, my young sir,” answered Nigel; “but when they cry like that in their sleep, it wakes them up to see what’s wrong.”

“It signifies little to any one what ails me,” said the boy.

“It doesn't really matter to anyone what's wrong with me,” said the boy.

“True,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “but you knew before you went to sleep how little I could assist you in your difficulties, and you seemed disposed, notwithstanding, to put some confidence in me.”

“True,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “but you knew before you went to sleep how little I could help you with your problems, and you still seemed willing to trust me a bit.”

“If I did, I have changed my mind,” said the lad.

“If I did, I’ve changed my mind,” said the guy.

“And what may have occasioned this change of mind, I trow?” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Some men speak through their sleep—perhaps you have the gift of hearing in it?”

“And what might have caused this change of heart, I wonder?” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Some people talk in their sleep—maybe you have the ability to hear it?”

“No, but the Patriarch Joseph never dreamt truer dreams than I do.”

“No, but Patriarch Joseph never dreamed more accurately than I do.”

“Indeed!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “And, pray, what dream have you had that has deprived me of your good opinion; for that, I think, seems the moral of the matter?”

“Absolutely!” said Lord Glenvarloch. “And, may I ask, what dream have you had that has caused you to think less of me; because that, I believe, seems to be the point of it all?”

“You shall judge yourself,” answered the boy. “I dreamed I was in a wild forest, where there was a cry of hounds, and winding of horns, exactly as I heard in Greenwich Park.”

“You should judge for yourself,” replied the boy. “I dreamed I was in a wild forest, where I heard the sound of hounds and the blowing of horns, just like I heard in Greenwich Park.”

“That was because you were in the Park this morning, you simple child,” said Nigel.

“That’s because you were at the park this morning, you silly kid,” said Nigel.

“Stay, my lord,” said the youth. “I went on in my dream, till, at the top of a broad green alley, I saw a noble stag which had fallen into the toils; and methought I knew that he was the very stag which the whole party were hunting, and that if the chase came up, the dogs would tear him to pieces, or the hunters would cut his throat; and I had pity on the gallant stag, and though I was of a different kind from him, and though I was somewhat afraid of him, I thought I would venture something to free so stately a creature; and I pulled out my knife, and just as I was beginning to cut the meshes of the net, the animal started up in my face in the likeness of a tiger, much larger and fiercer than any you may have seen in the ward of the wild beasts yonder, and was just about to tear me limb from limb, when you awaked me.”

“Wait, my lord,” the young man said. “I continued in my dream until I reached the end of a wide green path, where I saw a majestic stag trapped in a snare. I felt certain it was the very stag that everyone was hunting, and if the chase continued, the dogs would rip it apart or the hunters would slit its throat. I felt sorry for the noble stag, and even though I was different from it and somewhat afraid, I decided to do something to save such a magnificent creature. I took out my knife, and just as I was starting to cut the ropes of the net, the animal leaped up in front of me, transformed into a tiger, much bigger and more ferocious than any you might have seen in the wild animal section over there, and was about to tear me to pieces when you woke me up.”

“Methinks,” said Nigel, “I deserve more thanks than I have got, for rescuing you from such a danger by waking you. But, my pretty master, methinks all this tale of a tiger and a stag has little to do with your change of temper towards me.”

“Honestly,” said Nigel, “I think I deserve more thanks than I’ve received for saving you from that danger by waking you up. But, my dear master, I feel like all this talk about a tiger and a stag has little to do with why your attitude towards me has changed.”

“I know not whether it has or no,” said the lad; “but I will not tell you who I am.”

“I don’t know if it has or not,” said the boy, “but I won’t tell you who I am.”

“You will keep your secret to yourself then, peevish boy,” said Nigel, turning from him, and resuming his walk through the room; then stopping suddenly, he said—“And yet you shall not escape from me without knowing that I penetrate your mystery.”

“You're going to keep your secret to yourself, huh, sulky boy,” said Nigel, turning away from him and continuing his stroll around the room. Then, stopping abruptly, he said, “But you won’t get away from me without realizing that I see through your mystery.”

“My mystery!” said the youth, at once alarmed and irritated—“what mean you, my lord?”

“My mystery!” said the young man, both alarmed and annoyed—“what do you mean, my lord?”

“Only that I can read your dream without the assistance of a Chaldean interpreter, and my exposition is—that my fair companion does not wear the dress of her sex.”

“Just that I can understand your dream without needing a Chaldean interpreter, and my interpretation is—that my lovely companion isn’t dressed like a woman.”

“And if I do not, my lord,” said his companion, hastily starting up, and folding her cloak tight around her, “my dress, such as it is, covers one who will not disgrace it.”

“And if I don’t, my lord,” said her companion, quickly getting up and wrapping her cloak tightly around herself, “my dress, however simple it may be, covers someone who won’t bring shame to it.”

“Many would call that speech a fair challenge,” said Lord Glenvarloch, looking on her fixedly; “women do not masquerade in men's clothes, to make use of men's weapons.”

“Many would say that statement is a valid challenge,” said Lord Glenvarloch, staring at her intently; “women don’t dress in men’s clothes to use men’s weapons.”

“I have no such purpose,” said the seeming boy; “I have other means of protection, and powerful—but I would first know what is your purpose.”

“I don’t have that kind of goal,” said the boy who seemed to be one; “I have other ways to protect myself, and they’re strong—but first, I want to know what your goal is.”

“An honourable and a most respectful one,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “whatever you are—whatever motive may have brought you into this ambiguous situation, I am sensible—every look, word, and action of yours, makes me sensible, that you are no proper subject of importunity, far less of ill usage. What circumstances can have forced you into so doubtful a situation, I know not; but I feel assured there is, and can be, nothing in them of premeditated wrong, which should expose you to cold-blooded insult. From me you have nothing to dread.”

“An honorable and very respectful one,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “no matter who you are or what brought you into this uncertain situation, I can tell—every glance, word, and action of yours shows me that you are not someone to be bothered or, even worse, mistreated. I don’t know what circumstances led you here, but I’m confident that there’s nothing about them that involves any intentional wrongdoing that would justify a brutal insult. You have nothing to fear from me.”

“I expected nothing less from your nobleness, my lord,” answered the female; “my adventure, though I feel it was both desperate and foolish, is not so very foolish, nor my safety here so utterly unprotected, as at first sight—and in this strange dress, it may appear to be. I have suffered enough, and more than enough, by the degradation of having been seen in this unfeminine attire, and the comments you must necessarily have made on my conduct—but I thank God that I am so far protected, that I could not have been subjected to insult unavenged.” When this extraordinary explanation had proceeded thus far, the warder appeared, to place before Lord Glenvarloch a meal, which, for his present situation, might be called comfortable, and which, if not equal to the cookery of the celebrated Chevalier Beaujeu, was much superior in neatness and cleanliness to that of Alsatia. A warder attended to do the honours of the table, and made a sign to the disguised female to rise and assist him in his functions. But Nigel, declaring that he knew the youth's parents, interfered, and caused his companion to eat along with him. She consented with a sort of embarrassment, which rendered her pretty features yet more interesting. Yet she maintained with a natural grace that sort of good-breeding which belongs to the table; and it seemed to Nigel, whether already prejudiced in her favour by the extraordinary circumstances of their meeting, or whether really judging from what was actually the fact, that he had seldom seen a young person comport herself with more decorous propriety, mixed with ingenuous simplicity; while the consciousness of the peculiarity of her situation threw a singular colouring over her whole demeanour, which could be neither said to be formal, nor easy, nor embarrassed, but was compounded of, and shaded with, an interchange of all these three characteristics. Wine was placed on the table, of which she could not be prevailed on to taste a glass. Their conversation was, of course, limited by the presence of the warder to the business of the table: but Nigel had, long ere the cloth was removed, formed the resolution, if possible, of making himself master of this young person's history, the more especially as he now began to think that the tones of her voice and her features were not so strange to him as he had originally supposed. This, however, was a conviction which he adopted slowly, and only as it dawned upon him from particular circumstances during the course of the repast.

“I expected nothing less from your nobility, my lord,” replied the woman; “my situation, though I know it seems both reckless and foolish, isn’t as foolish as it looks, nor is my safety here as completely unprotected as it may seem at first glance—and in this strange outfit, it could easily appear that way. I’ve suffered enough humiliation from being seen in this unfeminine attire, and I can only imagine the judgments you must have formed about my actions—but I thank God that I am so far safeguarded that I cannot be insulted without retribution.” Just as she finished this remarkable explanation, the guard entered to set a meal before Lord Glenvarloch that, for his current circumstances, could be deemed comfortable, and while it wasn’t on par with the cuisine of the famous Chevalier Beaujeu, it was certainly cleaner and neater than what he’d find in Alsatia. A guard was present to serve at the table and gestured for the disguised woman to rise and assist him. However, Nigel, stating that he knew the youth's parents, intervened and urged his companion to dine with him. She agreed with a touch of embarrassment that made her pretty features even more captivating. Still, she carried herself with a natural grace and the manners expected at the table; and to Nigel, whether due to his already favorable view of her because of the unusual circumstances of their meeting or because he was genuinely observing the truth, she displayed an impressive sense of decorum mixed with genuine simplicity. The unique nature of her situation added a special nuance to her demeanor, which was not quite formal, nor entirely relaxed, nor awkward, but instead a combination of all three traits. Wine was served, but she wouldn’t be persuaded to take even a single glass. Naturally, their conversation was restricted by the guard’s presence to matters regarding the meal: yet, long before the cloth was removed, Nigel resolved, if possible, to learn the story of this young woman, especially since he was starting to believe that her voice and features seemed oddly familiar. However, this realization came slowly to him, gradually revealed by specific moments during the meal.

At length the prison-meal was finished, and Lord Glenvarloch began to think how he might most easily enter upon the topic he meditated, when the warder announced a visitor.

Eventually, the prison meal was over, and Lord Glenvarloch started to consider how he could most easily bring up the topic he had in mind when the guard announced a visitor.

“Soh!” said Nigel, something displeased, “I find even a prison does not save one from importunate visitations.”

“Soh!” said Nigel, somewhat annoyed, “I find that even a prison doesn’t protect you from annoying visitors.”

He prepared to receive his guest, however, while his alarmed companion flew to the large cradle-shaped chair, which had first served her as a place of refuge, drew her cloak around her, and disposed herself as much as she could to avoid observation. She had scarce made her arrangements for that purpose when the door opened, and the worthy citizen, George Heriot, entered the prison-chamber.

He got ready to welcome his guest, while his startled companion rushed to the big cradle-shaped chair that had originally been her safe spot, wrapped her cloak around herself, and positioned herself as best as she could to avoid being seen. She had barely set things up for that when the door opened, and the respectable citizen, George Heriot, walked into the prison chamber.

He cast around the apartment his usual sharp, quick glance of observation, and, advancing to Nigel, said—“My lord, I wish I could say I was happy to see you.”

He glanced around the apartment with his usual sharp, quick observation, and, stepping over to Nigel, said, “My lord, I wish I could say I was happy to see you.”

“The sight of those who are unhappy themselves, Master Heriot, seldom produces happiness to their friends—I, however, am glad to see you.”

“The sight of people who are unhappy themselves, Master Heriot, rarely brings happiness to their friends—I, however, am happy to see you.”

He extended his hand, but Heriot bowed with much formal complaisance, instead of accepting the courtesy, which in those times, when the distinction of ranks was much guarded by etiquette and ceremony, was considered as a distinguished favour.

He reached out his hand, but Heriot bowed with excessive formality instead of accepting the gesture, which in those days, when social hierarchy was strictly observed through etiquette and ceremony, was seen as a mark of special favor.

“You are displeased with me, Master Heriot,” said Lord Glenvarloch, reddening, for he was not deceived by the worthy citizen's affectation of extreme reverence and respect.

“You're upset with me, Master Heriot,” said Lord Glenvarloch, blushing, because he wasn't fooled by the good citizen's exaggerated show of deep respect.

“By no means, my lord,” replied Heriot; “but I have been in France, and have thought it is well to import, along with other more substantial articles, a small sample of that good-breeding which the French are so renowned for.”

“Not at all, my lord,” replied Heriot; “but I’ve been to France, and I thought it would be nice to bring back, along with other more essential items, a small taste of that good breeding the French are so famous for.”

“It is not kind of you,” said Nigel, “to bestow the first use of it on an old and obliged friend.”

“It’s not really fair,” said Nigel, “to give the first use of it to an old and grateful friend.”

Heriot only answered to this observation with a short dry cough, and then proceeded.

Heriot simply responded to this remark with a brief, dry cough and then continued.

“Hem! hem! I say, ahem! My lord, as my French politeness may not carry me far, I would willingly know whether I am to speak as a friend, since your lordship is pleased to term me such; or whether I am, as befits my condition, to confine myself to the needful business which must be treated of between us.”

“Um, excuse me! My lord, since my French politeness might not get me very far, I’d like to know if I can speak as a friend, since you’re kind enough to call me one; or if I should stick to the necessary business we need to discuss.”

“Speak as a friend by all means, Master Heriot,” said Nigel; “I perceive you have adopted some of the numerous prejudices against me, if not all of them. Speak out, and frankly—what I cannot deny I will at least confess.”

“Go ahead and speak as a friend, Master Heriot,” said Nigel; “I see that you have taken on some of the many biases against me, if not all of them. Be honest, and straightforward—what I can’t deny I will at least admit.”

“And I trust, my lord, redress,” said Heriot.

“And I trust, my lord, that you will make it right,” said Heriot.

“So far as in my power, certainly,” answered Nigel.

“So far as I can, definitely,” answered Nigel.

“Ah I my lord,” continued Heriot, “that is a melancholy though a necessary restriction; for how lightly may any one do an hundred times more than the degree of evil which it may be within his power to repair to the sufferers and to society! But we are not alone here,” he said, stopping, and darting his shrewd eye towards the muffled figure of the disguised maiden, whose utmost efforts had not enabled her so to adjust her position as altogether to escape observation. More anxious to prevent her being discovered than to keep his own affairs private, Nigel hastily answered—“'Tis a page of mine; you may speak freely before him. He is of France, and knows no English.”

“Ah, my lord,” Heriot continued, “that's a sad but necessary limitation; after all, anyone can easily cause much more harm than they can help fix for the victims and society! But we’re not alone here,” he said, pausing and glancing shrewdly at the cloaked figure of the disguised young woman, who had not been able to adjust her position enough to go unnoticed. More concerned about her being discovered than keeping his own matters private, Nigel quickly replied, “He’s my page; you can speak freely in front of him. He’s from France and doesn’t know any English.”

“I am then to speak freely,” said Heriot, after a second glance at the chair; “perhaps my words may be more free than welcome.”

“I’m going to speak my mind,” said Heriot, after looking at the chair again; “maybe what I say will be more honest than appreciated.”

“Go on, sir,” said Nigel, “I have told you I can bear reproof.”

“Go ahead, sir,” said Nigel, “I’ve told you I can handle criticism.”

“In one word, then, my lord—why do I find you in this place, and whelmed with charges which must blacken a name rendered famous by ages of virtue?”

“In one word, then, my lord—why do I see you here, weighed down by accusations that could tarnish a name made famous by years of virtue?”

“Simply, then, you find me here,” said Nigel, “because, to begin from my original error, I would be wiser than my father.”

“Simply put, you find me here,” said Nigel, “because, starting with my original mistake, I thought I could be smarter than my father.”

“It was a difficult task, my lord,” replied Heriot; “your father was voiced generally as the wisest and one of the bravest men of Scotland.”

“It was a tough job, my lord,” Heriot replied; “your father was widely regarded as one of the wisest and bravest men in Scotland.”

“He commanded me,” continued Nigel, “to avoid all gambling; and I took upon me to modify this injunction into regulating my play according to my skill, means, and the course of my luck.”

“He told me,” continued Nigel, “to stay away from all gambling; and I decided to interpret this instruction as managing my play based on my skill, resources, and how lucky I am.”

“Ay, self opinion, acting on a desire of acquisition, my lord—you hoped to touch pitch and not to be defiled,” answered Heriot. “Well, my lord, you need not say, for I have heard with much regret, how far this conduct diminished your reputation. Your next error I may without scruple remind you of—My lord, my lord, in whatever degree Lord Dalgarno may have failed towards you, the son of his father should have been sacred from your violence.”

“Ay, self-opinion, driven by a desire to gain, my lord—you thought you could get involved without getting dirty,” Heriot replied. “Well, my lord, you don’t need to say anything, as I have heard with much regret how much this behavior has hurt your reputation. I can remind you without hesitation of your next mistake—My lord, my lord, no matter how Lord Dalgarno may have wronged you, the son of his father should have been off-limits to your aggression.”

“You speak in cold blood, Master Heriot, and I was smarting under a thousand wrongs inflicted on me under the mask of friendship.”

“You’re speaking without feeling, Master Heriot, and I’ve been hurting from a thousand wrongs done to me while pretending to be your friend.”

“That is, he gave your lordship bad advice, and you,” said Heriot—

“That is, he gave you bad advice, and you,” said Heriot—

“Was fool enough to follow his counsel,” answered Nigel—“But we will pass this, Master Heriot, if you please. Old men and young men, men of the sword and men of peaceful occupation, always have thought, always will think, differently on such subjects.”

“Was foolish enough to take his advice,” replied Nigel. “But let's move on, Master Heriot, if you don’t mind. Old men and young men, warriors and those who work peacefully, have always thought differently about these things and always will.”

“I grant,” answered Heriot, “the distinction between the old goldsmith and the young nobleman—still you should have had patience for Lord Huntinglen's sake, and prudence for your own. Supposing your quarrel just—”

“I get it,” replied Heriot, “the difference between the old goldsmith and the young nobleman—still, you should have been patient for Lord Huntinglen's sake and sensible for your own. Assuming your argument was valid—”

“I pray you to pass on to some other charge,” said Lord Glenvarloch.

"I urge you to take on another duty," said Lord Glenvarloch.

“I am not your accuser, my lord; but I trust in heaven, that your own heart has already accused you bitterly on the inhospitable wrong which your late landlord has sustained at your hand.”

“I’m not here to accuse you, my lord; but I believe in heaven that your own heart has already judged you harshly for the unkind wrong your recent landlord suffered because of you.”

“Had I been guilty of what you allude to,” said Lord Glenvarloch,—“had a moment of temptation hurried me away, I had long ere now most bitterly repented it. But whoever may have wronged the unhappy woman, it was not I—I never heard of her folly until within this hour.”

“Had I been guilty of what you’re suggesting,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “if a moment of temptation had taken me off course, I would have regretted it deeply by now. But whoever may have wronged the unfortunate woman, it wasn’t me—I didn’t hear of her mistake until just now.”

“Come, my lord,” said Heriot, with some severity, “this sounds too much like affectation. I know there is among our modern youth a new creed respecting adultery as well as homicide—I would rather hear you speak of a revision of the Decalogue, with mitigated penalties in favour of the privileged orders—I would rather hear you do this than deny a fact in which you have been known to glory.”

“Come on, my lord,” Heriot said somewhat sternly, “this sounds way too much like pretentiousness. I know there’s a new belief among today's youth about adultery just like there is about murder—I’d prefer to hear you talk about revising the Ten Commandments, with lighter penalties for the privileged classes—I’d rather hear you do that than deny a fact you’ve proudly acknowledged.”

“Glory!—I never did, never would have taken honour to myself from such a cause,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I could not prevent other idle tongues, and idle brains, from making false inferences.”

“Glory!—I never did, and I never would take credit for myself from such a reason,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I couldn’t stop other idle people and their pointless thoughts from drawing false conclusions.”

“You would have known well enough how to stop their mouths, my lord,” replied Heriot, “had they spoke of you what was unpleasing to your ears, and what the truth did not warrant.—Come, my lord, remember your promise to confess; and, indeed, to confess is, in this case, in some slight sort to redress. I will grant you are young—the woman handsome—and, as I myself have observed, light-headed enough. Let me know where she is. Her foolish husband has still some compassion for her—will save her from infamy—perhaps, in time, receive her back; for we are a good-natured generation we traders. Do not, my lord, emulate those who work mischief merely for the pleasure of doing so—it is the very devil's worst quality.”

“You would have known exactly how to shut them up, my lord,” replied Heriot, “if they had said something that upset you and wasn’t backed by the truth. Come on, my lord, remember your promise to confess; and honestly, confessing in this case is a small step toward making things right. I’ll admit you’re young— the woman’s attractive—and, as I’ve noticed myself, kind of reckless. Just tell me where she is. Her foolish husband still cares about her—he’ll protect her from disgrace—and maybe, eventually, take her back; because we traders are a pretty good-natured bunch. Don’t, my lord, be like those who cause trouble just for the fun of it—it’s truly the worst trait of the devil.”

“Your grave remonstrances will drive me mad,” said Nigel. “There is a show of sense and reason in what you say; and yet, it is positively insisting on my telling the retreat of a fugitive of whom I know nothing earthly.”

“Your serious objections are making me crazy,” said Nigel. “There’s a hints of logic and reason in what you’re saying; yet, it’s downright demanding that I reveal the escape of a fugitive I know nothing about.”

“It is well, my lord,” answered Heriot, coldly. “You have a right, such as it is, to keep your own secrets; but, since my discourse on these points seems so totally unavailing, we had better proceed to business. Yet your father's image rises before me, and seems to plead that I should go on.”

“It’s fine, my lord,” Heriot replied coolly. “You have every right, whatever it may be, to keep your own secrets; but since my talk about these matters seems completely pointless, we might as well get down to business. Still, your father’s image is in my mind and seems to urge me to keep going.”

“Be it as you will, sir,” said Glenvarloch; “he who doubts my word shall have no additional security for it.”

“Whatever you say, sir,” said Glenvarloch; “if someone doubts my word, they won't get any extra assurance for it.”

“Well, my lord.—In the Sanctuary at Whitefriars—a place of refuge so unsuitable to a young man of quality and character—I am told a murder was committed.”

“Well, my lord.—In the Sanctuary at Whitefriars—a place of refuge so inappropriate for a young man of status and integrity—I hear a murder took place.”

“And you believe that I did the deed, I suppose?”

“And you think I did it, right?”

“God forbid, my lord!” said Heriot. “The coroner's inquest hath sat, and it appeared that your lordship, under your assumed name of Grahame, behaved with the utmost bravery.”

“God forbid, my lord!” said Heriot. “The coroner's inquest has been held, and it seems that your lordship, under your assumed name of Grahame, acted with the utmost bravery.”

“No compliment, I pray you,” said Nigel; “I am only too happy to find, that I did not murder, or am not believed to have murdered, the old man.”

“No flattery, please,” said Nigel; “I’m just really relieved to see that I didn’t kill the old man, or at least no one thinks I did.”

“True, my lord,” said Heriot; “but even in this affair there lacks explanation. Your lordship embarked this morning in a wherry with a female, and, it is said, an immense sum of money, in specie and other valuables—but the woman has not since been heard of.”

“That's true, my lord,” said Heriot; “but even in this situation, there are unanswered questions. You left this morning in a small boat with a woman, and it’s rumored that you took a large amount of cash and other valuable items with you—but no one has seen or heard from the woman since.”

“I parted with her at Paul's Wharf,” said Nigel, “where she went ashore with her charge. I gave her a letter to that very man, John Christie.”

“I said goodbye to her at Paul's Wharf,” Nigel said, “where she got off with her charge. I handed her a letter for that very man, John Christie.”

“Ay, that is the waterman's story; but John Christie denies that he remembers anything of the matter.”

"Ay, that's the waterman's story; but John Christie claims he doesn't remember anything about it."

“I am sorry to hear this,” said the young nobleman; “I hope in Heaven she has not been trepanned, for the treasure she had with her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said the young nobleman. “I hope in Heaven she hasn't been tricked because of the treasure she had with her.”

“I hope not, my lord,” replied Heriot; “but men's minds are much disturbed about it. Our national character suffers on all hands. Men remember the fatal case of Lord Sanquhar, hanged for the murder of a fencing-master; and exclaim, they will not have their wives whored, and their property stolen, by the nobility of Scotland.”

“I hope not, my lord,” replied Heriot; “but people are really upset about it. Our national reputation is taking a hit everywhere. People remember the tragic case of Lord Sanquhar, who was hanged for murdering a fencing master; and they shout that they won't let their wives be exploited, and their property be taken, by the nobility of Scotland.”

“And all this is laid to my door!” said Nigel; “my exculpation is easy.”

“And all this is blamed on me!” said Nigel; “my innocence is clear.”

“I trust so, my lord,” said Heriot;—“nay, in this particular, I do not doubt it.—But why did you leave Whitefriars under such circumstances?”

"I believe so, my lord," said Heriot;—"no, in this case, I have no doubts.—But why did you leave Whitefriars in such a situation?"

“Master Reginald Lowestoffe sent a boat for me, with intimation to provide for my safety.”

“Master Reginald Lowestoffe sent a boat for me, letting me know to ensure my safety.”

“I am sorry to say,” replied Heriot, “that he denies all knowledge of your lordship's motions, after having dispatched a messenger to you with some baggage.”

“I’m sorry to say,” replied Heriot, “that he claims to know nothing about your lordship's actions, even after sending a messenger to you with some luggage.”

“The watermen told me they were employed by him.”

“The boatmen told me they worked for him.”

“Watermen!” said Heriot; “one of these proves to be an idle apprentice, an old acquaintance of mine—the other has escaped; but the fellow who is in custody persists in saying he was employed by your lordship, and you only.”

“Watermen!” Heriot said. “One of these turns out to be a lazy apprentice, an old acquaintance of mine—the other got away; but the guy who is in custody keeps insisting that he was working for you, and only you.”

“He lies!” said Lord Glenvarloch, hastily;—“He told me Master Lowestoffe had sent him.—I hope that kind-hearted gentleman is at liberty?”

“He's lying!” said Lord Glenvarloch quickly;—“He told me that Master Lowestoffe sent him.—I hope that kind-hearted guy is free?”

“He is,” answered Heriot; “and has escaped with a rebuke from the benchers, for interfering in such a matter as your lordship's. The Court desire to keep well with the young Templars in these times of commotion, or he had not come off so well.”

“He is,” replied Heriot; “and he got off with just a warning from the benchers for getting involved in a matter like yours. The Court wants to maintain good relations with the young Templars during these turbulent times, or he wouldn't have gotten off so easily.”

“That is the only word of comfort I have heard from you,” replied Nigel. “But this poor woman,—she and her trunk were committed to the charge of two porters.”

"That's the only comforting thing I've heard from you," Nigel replied. "But this poor woman—she and her trunk were handed over to two porters."

“So said the pretended waterman; but none of the fellows who ply at the wharf will acknowledge the employment.—I see the idea makes you uneasy, my lord; but every effort is made to discover the poor woman's place of retreat—if, indeed, she yet lives.—And now, my lord, my errand is spoken, so far as it relates exclusively to your lordship; what remains, is matter of business of a more formal kind.”

“So said the fake waterman; but none of the guys who work at the wharf will admit to the job. I can see this idea makes you uneasy, my lord; but every effort is being made to find the poor woman's hiding place—if she’s still alive. And now, my lord, I’ve shared my message as it concerns you; what’s left is more formal business.”

“Let us proceed to it without delay,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I would hear of the affairs of any one rather than of my own.”

“Let’s get to it without wasting time,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “I’d rather hear about anyone else’s problems than my own.”

“You cannot have forgotten, my lord,” said Heriot, “the transaction which took place some weeks since at Lord Huntinglen's—by which a large sum of money was advanced for the redemption of your lordship's estate?”

“You can't have forgotten, my lord,” said Heriot, “the deal that happened a few weeks ago at Lord Huntinglen's—where a large sum of money was provided to save your lordship's estate?”

“I remember it perfectly,” said Nigel; “and your present austerity cannot make me forget your kindness on the occasion.”

“I remember it perfectly,” Nigel said, “and your current seriousness can’t make me forget how kind you were back then.”

Heriot bowed gravely, and went on.—“That money was advanced under the expectation and hope that it might be replaced by the contents of a grant to your lordship, under the royal sign-manual, in payment of certain monies due by the crown to your father.—I trust your lordship understood the transaction at the time—I trust you now understand my resumption of its import, and hold it to be correct?”

Heriot bowed seriously and continued. “That money was given with the expectation and hope that it could be paid back through a grant to you, under the king's authorization, to settle some debts owed by the crown to your father. I hope you understood the deal back then—I hope you now see my explanation of its significance and agree that it’s accurate?”

“Undeniably correct,” answered Lord Glenvarloch. “If the sums contained in the warrant cannot be recovered, my lands become the property of those who paid off the original holders of the mortgage, and now stand in their right.”

“Absolutely right,” answered Lord Glenvarloch. “If the amounts in the warrant can't be collected, my lands become the property of those who paid off the original mortgage holders and now have their rights.”

“Even so, my lord,” said Heriot. “And your lordship's unhappy circumstances having, it would seem, alarmed these creditors, they are now, I am sorry to say, pressing for one or other of these alternatives—possession of the land, or payment of their debt.”

“Even so, my lord,” said Heriot. “And given your unfortunate situation, it seems to have worried these creditors, who are now, I’m sorry to say, pushing for one of two things—either possession of the land or payment of their debt.”

“They have a right to one or other,” answered Lord Glenvarloch; “and as I cannot do the last in my present condition, I suppose they must enter on possession.”

“They have a right to one or the other,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; “and since I can't do the last in my current situation, I guess they have to take possession.”

“Stay, my lord,” replied Heriot; “if you have ceased to call me a friend to your person, at least you shall see I am willing to be such to your father's house, were it but for the sake of your father's memory. If you will trust me with the warrant under the sign-manual, I believe circumstances do now so stand at Court, that I may be able to recover the money for you.”

“Wait, my lord,” Heriot said. “If you no longer see me as a friend to you, at least you should know I’m still willing to be one to your father’s house, if only for your father’s memory. If you trust me with the warrant under the official seal, I believe the current situation at Court might allow me to recover the money for you.”

“I would do so gladly,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “but the casket which contains it is not in my possession. It was seized when I was arrested at Greenwich.”

“I would do that happy to,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “but the box that holds it is not with me. It was taken when I was arrested at Greenwich.”

“It will be no longer withheld from you,” said Heriot; “for, I understand, my Master's natural good sense, and some information which he has procured, I know not how, has induced him to contradict the whole charge of the attempt on his person. It is entirely hushed up; and you will only be proceeded against for your violence on Lord Dalgarno, committed within the verge of the Palace—and that you will find heavy enough to answer.”

“It won’t be kept from you anymore,” said Heriot; “because I understand my Master's natural good sense, and some information he has somehow obtained has led him to deny the entire accusation against him. It's completely buried; and you will only be facing charges for your attack on Lord Dalgarno, which happened within the Palace grounds—and that you’ll find serious enough to deal with.”

“I will not shrink under the weight,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “But that is not the present point.—If I had that casket—”

“I won’t back down under the pressure,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “But that’s not the issue right now.—If I had that casket—”

“Your baggage stood in the little ante-room, as I passed,” said the citizen; “the casket caught my eye. I think you had it of me. It was my old friend Sir Faithful Frugal's. Ay; he, too, had a son—”

“Your luggage was in the small waiting room when I walked by,” said the citizen; “the box caught my attention. I believe you got it from me. It belonged to my old friend Sir Faithful Frugal. Yes; he also had a son—”

Here he stopped short.

Here he paused.

“A son who, like Lord Glenvarloch's, did no credit to his father.—Was it not so you would have ended the sentence, Master Heriot?” asked the young nobleman.

“A son who, like Lord Glenvarloch's, brought no honor to his father. —Isn’t that how you would have finished the sentence, Master Heriot?” asked the young nobleman.

“My lord, it was a word spoken rashly,” answered Heriot. “God may mend all in his own good time. This, however, I will say, that I have sometimes envied my friends their fair and flourishing families; and yet have I seen such changes when death has removed the head, so many rich men's sons penniless, the heirs of so many knights and nobles acreless, that I think mine own estate and memory, as I shall order it, has a fair chance of outliving those of greater men, though God has given me no heir of my name. But this is from the purpose.—Ho! warder, bring in Lord Glenvarloch's baggage.” The officer obeyed. Seals had been placed upon the trunk and casket, but were now removed, the warder said, in consequence of the subsequent orders from Court, and the whole was placed at the prisoner's free disposal.

“My lord, that was an impulsive remark,” Heriot replied. “God might fix everything in His own time. However, I will say this: I have sometimes envied my friends their happy and thriving families; yet I've seen such shifts when death has taken the head of the family, with so many rich men's sons left broke, and the heirs of so many knights and nobles left without land, that I believe my own estate and legacy, as I plan to arrange it, stands a good chance of outlasting those of greater men, even though God hasn’t given me an heir to carry on my name. But that’s beside the point.—Hey! Guard, bring in Lord Glenvarloch's belongings.” The officer complied. Seals had been placed on the trunk and casket, but were now removed, the guard explained, due to later orders from Court, and everything was placed at the prisoner’s complete disposal.

Desirous to bring this painful visit to a conclusion, Lord Glenvarloch opened the casket, and looked through the papers which it contained, first hastily, and then more slowly and accurately; but it was all in vain. The Sovereign's signed warrant had disappeared.

Desperate to end this painful visit, Lord Glenvarloch opened the casket and quickly scanned the papers inside, then examined them more slowly and carefully; but it was all for nothing. The Sovereign's signed warrant was gone.

“I thought and expected nothing better,” said George Heriot, bitterly. “The beginning of evil is the letting out of water. Here is a fair heritage lost, I dare say, on a foul cast at dice, or a conjuring trick at cards!—My lord, your surprise is well played. I give you full joy of your accomplishments. I have seen many as young brawlers and spendthrifts, but never as young and accomplished a dissembler.—Nay, man, never bend your angry brows on me. I speak in bitterness of heart, from what I remember of your worthy father; and if his son hears of his degeneracy from no one else, he shall hear it from the old goldsmith.”

“I thought and expected nothing better,” George Heriot said bitterly. “The start of trouble is like letting out water. Here’s a good inheritance wasted, probably on a bad roll of the dice, or a sleight of hand with cards!—My lord, your surprise is well acted. I genuinely congratulate you on your skills. I've seen many young fighters and spenders before, but never have I seen a young person so skilled at deception.—No, man, don’t furrow your brow at me. I speak with a heavy heart, thinking of your worthy father; and if his son hears about his decline from anyone else, he will hear it from the old goldsmith.”

This new suspicion drove Nigel to the very extremity of his patience; yet the motives and zeal of the good old man, as well as the circumstances of suspicion which created his displeasure, were so excellent an excuse for it, that they formed an absolute curb on the resentment of Lord Glenvarloch, and constrained him, after two or three hasty exclamations, to observe a proud and sullen silence. At length, Master Heriot resumed his lecture.

This new suspicion pushed Nigel to the limit of his patience; however, the good intentions and enthusiasm of the old man, along with the circumstances that fueled his suspicion, were such good reasons for it that they completely restrained Lord Glenvarloch's anger. After a couple of frustrated outbursts, he fell into a proud and sulky silence. Eventually, Master Heriot continued his lecture.

“Hark you, my lord,” he said, “it is scarce possible that this most important paper can be absolutely assigned away. Let me know in what obscure corner, and for what petty sum, it lies pledged—something may yet be done.”

“Hear me, my lord,” he said, “it's hardly possible for this very important document to be completely assigned away. Tell me where it’s hidden and for what small amount it’s been pledged—there might still be a way to handle this.”

“Your efforts in my favour are the more generous,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “as you offer them to one whom you believe you have cause to think hardly of—but they are altogether unavailing. Fortune has taken the field against me at every point. Even let her win the battle.”

“Your efforts to help me are even more generous,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “since you offer them to someone you think poorly of—but they’re completely in vain. Luck has turned against me at every turn. Just let her win the battle.”

“Zouns!” exclaimed Heriot, impatiently,—“you would make a saint swear! Why, I tell you, if this paper, the loss of which seems to sit so light on you, be not found, farewell to the fair lordship of Glenvarloch—firth and forest—lea and furrow—lake and stream—all that has been in the house of Olifaunt since the days of William the Lion!”

“Damn it!” Heriot exclaimed, impatiently, “You’d make a saint curse! Look, if this paper, which doesn’t seem to bother you at all, isn’t found, goodbye to the beautiful lordship of Glenvarloch—coast and woods—fields and plowed land—lake and river—all that has belonged to the Olifaunt family since the days of William the Lion!”

“Farewell to them, then,” said Nigel,—“and that moan is soon made.”

“Goodbye to them, then,” said Nigel, “and that complaint is easily done.”

“'Sdeath! my lord, you will make more moan for it ere you die,” said Heriot, in the same tone of angry impatience.

“Damn it! My lord, you’ll regret this even more before you die,” said Heriot, in the same tone of angry impatience.

“Not I, my old friend,” said Nigel. “If I mourn, Master Heriot, it will be for having lost the good opinion of a worthy man, and lost it, as I must say, most undeservedly.”

“Not me, my old friend,” said Nigel. “If I grieve, Master Heriot, it will be for losing the good opinion of a decent man, and I've lost it, I must say, most unjustly.”

“Ay, ay, young man,” said Heriot, shaking his head, “make me believe that if you can.—To sum the matter up,” he said, rising from his seat, and walking towards that occupied by the disguised female, “for our matters are now drawn into small compass, you shall as soon make me believe that this masquerading mummer, on whom I now lay the hand of paternal authority, is a French page, who understands no English.”

“Yeah, yeah, young man,” said Heriot, shaking his head, “convince me if you can.—To sum it up,” he said, getting up from his seat and walking towards the disguised woman, “since our situation is now clear, you might as well try to convince me that this masquerading performer, whom I now address with the authority of a father, is a French page who doesn’t understand any English.”

So saying, he took hold of the supposed page's cloak, and, not without some gentle degree of violence, led into the middle of the apartment the disguised fair one, who in vain attempted to cover her face, first with her mantle, and afterwards with her hands; both which impediments Master Heriot removed something unceremoniously, and gave to view the detected daughter of the old chronologist, his own fair god-daughter, Margaret Ramsay.

So saying, he grabbed the cloak of the supposed page and, not without a bit of force, brought the disguised woman into the center of the room. She tried unsuccessfully to cover her face first with her cloak and then with her hands. Master Heriot without much ceremony removed both obstacles and revealed the discovered daughter of the old chronologist, his own beautiful goddaughter, Margaret Ramsay.

“Here is goodly gear!” he said; and, as he spoke, he could not prevent himself from giving her a slight shake, for we have elsewhere noticed that he was a severe disciplinarian.—“How comes it, minion, that I find you in so shameless a dress, and so unworthy a situation? Nay, your modesty is now mistimed—it should have come sooner. Speak, or I will—”

“Here’s some nice stuff!” he said; and, as he spoke, he couldn’t stop himself from giving her a slight shake, because we’ve noted before that he was a strict disciplinarian. “How is it, darling, that I find you in such shameless clothing and such an unworthy position? No, your modesty is badly timed—it should have come sooner. Speak up, or I will—”

“Master Heriot,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “whatever right you may have over this maiden elsewhere, while in my apartment she is under my protection.”

“Master Heriot,” Lord Glenvarloch said, “no matter what claim you might have on this young woman elsewhere, while she’s in my place she is under my protection.”

“Your protection, my lord!—a proper protector!—and how long, mistress, have you been under my lord's protection? Speak out forsooth!”

“Your protection, my lord!—a true protector!—and how long, mistress, have you been under my lord's protection? Speak up, really!”

“For the matter of two hours, godfather,” answered the maiden, with a countenance bent to the ground, and covered with blushes, “but it was against my will.”

“For a couple of hours, godfather,” replied the young woman, looking down with a flushed face, “but it wasn't what I wanted.”

“Two hours!” repeated Heriot,—“space enough for mischief.—My lord, this is, I suppose, another victim offered to your character of gallantry—another adventure to be boasted of at Beaujeu's ordinary? Methinks the roof under which you first met this silly maiden should have secured her, at least, from such a fate.”

“Two hours!” Heriot repeated, “plenty of time for trouble. My lord, I guess this is just another person sacrificed to your reputation for being a ladies' man—another story to brag about at Beaujeu's? I think the place where you first met this naive girl should have protected her, at the very least, from such a fate.”

“On my honour, Master Heriot,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you remind me now, for the first time, that I saw this young lady in your family. Her features are not easily forgotten, and yet I was trying in vain to recollect where I had last looked on them. For your suspicions, they are as false as they are injurious both to her and me. I had but discovered her disguise as you entered. I am satisfied, from her whole behaviour, that her presence here in this dress was involuntary; and God forbid that I have been capable of taking advantage of it to her prejudice.”

“Honestly, Master Heriot,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “you just reminded me, for the first time, that I saw this young lady in your family. Her features are hard to forget, and yet I was trying unsuccessfully to remember where I last saw them. As for your suspicions, they are completely unfounded and harmful to both her and me. I only figured out her disguise right as you walked in. From her entire behavior, I’m convinced that her being here in this outfit wasn’t by choice; and I would never dream of taking advantage of that to her detriment.”

“It is well mouthed, my lord,” said Master Heriot; “but a cunning clerk can read the Apocrypha as loud as the Scripture. Frankly, my lord, you are come to that pass, where your words will not be received without a warrant.”

“It’s well said, my lord,” replied Master Heriot; “but a clever clerk can recite the Apocrypha just as well as the Scripture. To be honest, my lord, you’ve reached the point where your words won’t be accepted without proof.”

“I should not speak, perhaps,” said Margaret, the natural vivacity of whose temper could never be long suppressed by any situation, however disadvantageous, “but I cannot be silent. Godfather, you do me wrong—and no less wrong to this young nobleman. You say his words want a warrant. I know where to find a warrant for some of them, and the rest I deeply and devoutly believe without one.”

“I probably shouldn’t say anything,” Margaret replied, her natural energy impossible to keep down for long, no matter how tough the situation, “but I can’t stay quiet. Godfather, you’re being unfair to me—and just as unfair to this young nobleman. You claim his words lack support. I know where to find support for some of them, and for the rest, I wholeheartedly believe them without needing it.”

“And I thank you, maiden,” replied Nigel, “for the good opinion you have expressed. I am at that point, it seems, though how I have been driven to it I know not, where every fair construction of my actions and motives is refused me. I am the more obliged to her who grants me that right which the world denies me. For you, lady, were I at liberty, I have a sword and arm should know how to guard your reputation.”

“Thank you, miss,” replied Nigel, “for the kind words you’ve shared. It seems I’ve reached a point where everyone refuses to see my actions and intentions in a positive light, although I don’t understand why. I’m even more grateful to you for giving me the courtesy that the world denies me. Because for you, my lady, if I were free, I have a sword and strength that would defend your honor.”

“Upon my word, a perfect Amadis and Oriana!” said George Heriot. “I should soon get my throat cut betwixt the knight and the princess, I suppose, but that the beef-eaters are happily within halloo.—Come, come, Lady Light-o'-Love—if you mean to make your way with me, it must be by plain facts, not by speeches from romaunts and play-books. How, in Heaven's name, came you here?”

“Honestly, a perfect Amadis and Oriana!” said George Heriot. “I suppose I’d soon have my throat slashed between the knight and the princess, but thankfully the beef-eaters are just a shout away. —Come on, Lady Light-o'-Love—if you want to win me over, it has to be with plain facts, not lines from romances and plays. How on earth did you get here?”

“Sir,” answered Margaret, “since I must speak, I went to Greenwich this morning with Monna Paula, to present a petition to the king on the part of the Lady Hermione.”

“Sir,” replied Margaret, “since I have to speak, I went to Greenwich this morning with Monna Paula to present a petition to the king on behalf of Lady Hermione.”

“Mercy-a-gad!” exclaimed Heriot, “is she in the dance, too? Could she not have waited my return to stir in her affairs? But I suppose the intelligence I sent her had rendered her restless. Ah! woman, woman—he that goes partner with you, had need of a double share of patience, for you will bring none into the common stock.—Well, but what on earth had this embassy of Monna Paula's to do with your absurd disguise? Speak out.”

“Mercy!,” exclaimed Heriot, “is she dancing as well? Couldn’t she have waited for me to return before getting involved in her issues? But I guess the message I sent her made her anxious. Ah, woman, woman—anyone who partners with you needs extra patience, because you won't contribute any to the collective effort. —Well, but what on earth did Monna Paula’s mission have to do with your ridiculous disguise? Just tell me.”

“Monna Paula was frightened,” answered Margaret, “and did not know how to set about the errand, for you know she scarce ever goes out of doors—and so—and so—I agreed to go with her to give her courage; and, for the dress, I am sure you remember I wore it at a Christmas mumming, and you thought it not unbeseeming.”

“Monna Paula was scared,” Margaret replied, “and didn’t know how to handle the task, since you know she hardly ever goes outside—and so—and so—I decided to go with her to give her some confidence; and as for the dress, I’m sure you remember I wore it at a Christmas play, and you thought it looked fine.”

“Yes, for a Christmas parlour,” said Heriot, “but not to go a-masking through the country in. I do remember it, minion, and I knew it even now; that and your little shoe there, linked with a hint I had in the morning from a friend, or one who called himself such, led to your detection.”—Here Lord Glenvarloch could not help giving a glance at the pretty foot, which even the staid citizen thought worth recollection—it was but a glance, for he saw how much the least degree of observation added to Margaret's distress and confusion. “And tell me, maiden,” continued Master Heriot, for what we have observed was by-play,—“did the Lady Hermione know of this fair work?”

“Yes, for a Christmas party,” said Heriot, “but not to go wandering through the countryside in. I do remember it, darling, and I still know it now; that and your little shoe there, along with a hint I got this morning from someone who claimed to be a friend, led to your discovery.” — Here, Lord Glenvarloch couldn't help but glance at the pretty foot, which even the serious businessman thought was worth remembering— it was just a glance, since he noticed how even the slightest observation added to Margaret's distress and embarrassment. “And tell me, young lady,” continued Master Heriot, since what we have observed was just a side note,—“did Lady Hermione know about this lovely situation?”

“I dared not have told her for the world,” said Margaret—“she thought one of our apprentices went with Monna Paula.”

“I wouldn't have dared to tell her for anything,” said Margaret—“she thought one of our apprentices went with Monna Paula.”

It may be here noticed, that the words, “our apprentices,” seemed to have in them something of a charm to break the fascination with which Lord Glenvarloch had hitherto listened to the broken, yet interesting details of Margaret's history.

It’s worth noting that the phrase “our apprentices” seemed to have a charm that disrupted the spell Lord Glenvarloch had been under while listening to the fragmented yet captivating details of Margaret's story.

“And wherefore went he not?—he had been a fitter companion for Monna Paula than you, I wot,” said the citizen.

“And why didn’t he go?—he would have been a better companion for Monna Paula than you, I know,” said the citizen.

“He was otherwise employed,” said Margaret, in a voice scarce audible.

“He was busy with other things,” said Margaret, in a barely audible voice.

Master George darted a hasty glance at Nigel, and when he saw his features betoken no consciousness, he muttered to himself,—“It must be better than I feared.—And so this cursed Spaniard, with her head full, as they all have, of disguises, trap-doors, rope-ladders, and masks, was jade and fool enough to take you with her on this wild goose errand?—And how sped you, I pray?”

Master George shot a quick look at Nigel, and when he saw that his expression showed no awareness, he muttered to himself, “It must be better than I thought. So this damn Spaniard, with her head full of tricks—like they all are—disguises, secret doors, rope ladders, and masks, was foolish enough to drag you along on this wild goose chase? How did it go for you, if I may ask?”

“Just as we reached the gate of the Park,” replied Margaret, “the cry of treason was raised. I know not what became of Monna, but I ran till I fell into the arms of a very decent serving-man, called Linklater; and I was fain to tell him I was your god-daughter, and so he kept the rest of them from me, and got me to speech of his Majesty, as I entreated him to do.”

“Just as we got to the gate of the Park,” Margaret replied, “someone shouted ‘treason.’ I don’t know what happened to Monna, but I ran until I collapsed into the arms of a good servant named Linklater; I was eager to tell him I was your goddaughter, so he kept the others away from me and helped me speak to his Majesty, as I asked him to.”

“It is the only sign you showed in the whole matter that common sense had not utterly deserted your little skull,” said Heriot.

“It’s the only indication you gave in this entire situation that common sense hadn't completely left your head,” said Heriot.

“His Majesty,” continued the damsel, “was so gracious as to receive me alone, though the courtiers cried out against the danger to his person, and would have searched me for arms, God help me, but the king forbade it. I fancy he had a hint from Linklater how the truth stood with me.”

“His Majesty,” the young woman continued, “was kind enough to meet with me alone, even though the courtiers protested about the risk to his safety and wanted to search me for weapons, bless my soul, but the king wouldn't allow it. I think he got a heads-up from Linklater about what was really going on with me.”

“Well, maiden, I ask not what passed,” said Heriot; “it becomes not me to pry into my Master's secrets. Had you been closeted with his grandfather the Red Tod of Saint Andrews, as Davie Lindsay used to call him, by my faith, I should have had my own thoughts of the matter; but our Master, God bless him, is douce and temperate, and Solomon in every thing, save in the chapter of wives and concubines.”

“Well, young lady, I won’t ask what happened,” said Heriot; “it’s not my place to pry into my Master’s secrets. If you had been alone with his grandfather, the Red Tod of Saint Andrews, as Davie Lindsay used to call him, I would definitely have my own ideas about it; but our Master, God bless him, is calm and moderate, and wise in every way, except when it comes to the subject of wives and concubines.”

“I know not what you mean, sir,” answered Margaret. “His Majesty was most kind and compassionate, but said I must be sent hither, and that the Lieutenant's lady, the Lady Mansel, would have a charge of me, and see that I sustained no wrong; and the king promised to send me in a tilted barge, and under conduct of a person well known to you; and thus I come to be in the Tower.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir,” answered Margaret. “His Majesty was very kind and caring, but he said I had to be sent here, and that the Lieutenant's wife, Lady Mansel, would take care of me and make sure I wasn’t harmed; and the king promised to send me in a covered barge, with someone you know well in charge of me; and that’s how I ended up in the Tower.”

“But how, or why, in this apartment, nymph?” said George Heriot—“Expound that to me, for I think the riddle needs reading.”

“But how, or why, in this apartment, nymph?” said George Heriot—“Explain that to me, because I think this riddle needs solving.”

“I cannot explain it, sir, further, than that the Lady Mansel sent me here, in spite of my earnest prayers, tears, and entreaties. I was not afraid of any thing, for I knew I should be protected. But I could have died then—could die now—for very shame and confusion!”

“I can't explain it any more than that Lady Mansel sent me here, despite my desperate pleas, tears, and requests. I wasn't scared of anything because I knew I'd be safe. But I could have died then—could die now—from sheer shame and embarrassment!”

“Well, well, if your tears are genuine,” said Heriot, “they may the sooner wash out the memory of your fault—Knows your father aught of this escape of yours?”

“Well, well, if your tears are real,” said Heriot, “they might help you forget your mistake faster—Does your father know anything about your escape?”

“I would not for the world he did,” replied she; “he believes me with the Lady Hermione.”

“I wouldn't want that for anything,” she replied; “he thinks I'm with Lady Hermione.”

“Ay, honest Davy can regulate his horologes better than his family.—Come, damsel, now I will escort you back to the Lady Mansel, and pray her, of her kindness, that when she is again trusted with a goose, she will not give it to the fox to keep.—The warders will let us pass to my lady's lodgings, I trust.”

“Aye, honest Davy can manage his clocks better than his family.—Come, young lady, I’ll walk you back to Lady Mansel and kindly ask her that the next time she’s given a goose, she won’t hand it over to the fox to watch.—I hope the guards will let us through to my lady's rooms.”

“Stay but one moment,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Whatever hard opinion you may have formed of me, I forgive you, for time will show that you do me wrong; and you yourself, I think, will be the first to regret the injustice you have done me. But involve not in your suspicions this young person, for whose purity of thought angels themselves should be vouchers. I have marked every look, every gesture; and whilst I can draw breath, I shall ever think of her with—”

“Stay just a moment,” said Lord Glenvarloch. “Whatever negative opinion you may have about me, I forgive you because time will reveal that you're mistaken; I believe you will be the first to regret the unfairness you’ve shown me. But please don’t include this young person in your suspicions, for her purity of thought should be vouched for by angels themselves. I’ve observed every look, every gesture; and as long as I have breath, I will always think of her with—”

“Think not at all of her, my lord,” answered George Heriot, interrupting him; “it is, I have a notion, the best favour you can do her;—or think of her as the daughter of Davy Ramsay, the clockmaker, no proper subject for fine speeches, romantic adventures, or high-flown Arcadian compliments. I give you god-den, my lord. I think not altogether so harshly as my speech may have spoken. If I can help—that is, if I saw my way clearly through this labyrinth—but it avails not talking now. I give your lordship god-den.—Here, warder! Permit us to pass to the Lady Hansel's apartment.” The warder said he must have orders from the Lieutenant; and as he retired to procure them, the parties remained standing near each other, but without speaking, and scarce looking at each other save by stealth, a situation which, in two of the party at least, was sufficiently embarrassing. The difference of rank, though in that age a consideration so serious, could not prevent Lord Glenvarloch from seeing that Margaret Ramsay was one of the prettiest young women he had ever beheld—from suspecting, he could scarce tell why, that he himself was not indifferent to her—from feeling assured that he had been the cause of much of her present distress—admiration, self-love, and generosity, acting in favour of the same object; and when the yeoman returned with permission to his guests to withdraw, Nigel's obeisance to the beautiful daughter of the mechanic was marked with an expression, which called up in her cheeks as much colour as any incident of the eventful day had hitherto excited. She returned the courtesy timidly and irresolutely—clung to her godfather's arm, and left the apartment, which, dark as it was, had never yet appeared so obscure to Nigel, as when the door closed behind her.

"Don't think about her at all, my lord," George Heriot interrupted. "I believe that’s the best thing you can do for her; or think of her as Davy Ramsay’s daughter, the clockmaker—she's not really a good fit for grand speeches, romantic adventures, or lofty compliments. Good evening to you, my lord. I don't mean to be quite so harsh as my words may suggest. If I can assist—that is, if I can find a clear path through this maze—but it doesn't help to talk right now. Good evening to you, my lord.—Here, guard! Let us through to Lady Hansel's room." The guard said he needed orders from the Lieutenant, and as he went to get them, the others stood close together, but without speaking, and barely looking at one another except in secret glances, a situation that was rather awkward for at least two of them. The difference in their social status, which was quite significant in that era, couldn't stop Lord Glenvarloch from noticing that Margaret Ramsay was one of the prettiest young women he’d ever seen—from feeling, for reasons he couldn’t quite understand, that he wasn’t indifferent to her—knowing that he had likely contributed to much of her current distress—admiration, self-love, and generosity all working towards the same woman; and when the guard returned with permission for his guests to leave, Nigel’s respectful nod to the beautiful daughter of the mechanic made her cheeks flush with as much color as any incident of that eventful day had provoked. She returned the gesture shyly and uncertainly—held tightly to her godfather's arm, and left the room, which, dark as it was, had never felt so dim to Nigel as when the door closed behind her.










CHAPTER XXX

  Yet though thou shouldst be dragg'd in scorn
  To yonder ignominious tree,
  Thou shall not want one faithful friend
  To share the cruel fates' decree.
                   Ballad of Jemmy Dawson.
  Yet even if you were dragged in shame  
  To that dishonorable tree,  
  You won't lack a loyal friend  
  To share in the cruel fate's decree.  
                   Ballad of Jemmy Dawson.

Master George Heriot and his ward, as she might justly be termed, for his affection to Margaret imposed on him all the cares of a guardian, were ushered by the yeoman of the guard to the lodging of the Lieutenant, where they found him seated with his lady. They were received by both with that decorous civility which Master Heriot's character and supposed influence demanded, even at the hand of a punctilious old soldier and courtier like Sir Edward Mansel. Lady Mansel received Margaret with like courtesy, and informed Master George that she was now only her guest, and no longer her prisoner.

Master George Heriot and his ward, which is a fitting term for her since his affection for Margaret made him responsible for her care, were escorted by the yeoman of the guard to the Lieutenant's quarters, where they found him sitting with his wife. Both of them welcomed the visitors with the polite formality that Master Heriot’s reputation and influence warranted, even from a meticulous old soldier and courtier like Sir Edward Mansel. Lady Mansel greeted Margaret with the same warmth and told Master George that she was now just her guest and no longer her prisoner.

“She is at liberty,” she said, “to return to her friends under your charge—such is his Majesty's pleasure.”

“She is free,” she said, “to go back to her friends with your supervision—such is the King's wish.”

“I am glad of it, madam,” answered Heriot, “but only I could have wished her freedom had taken place before her foolish interview with that singular young man; and I marvel your ladyship permitted it.”

“I’m glad to hear that, ma'am,” replied Heriot, “but I really wish her freedom had happened before that silly meeting with that unusual young man; and I’m surprised you allowed it.”

“My good Master Heriot,” said Sir Edward, “we act according to the commands of one better and wiser than ourselves—our orders from his Majesty must be strictly and literally obeyed; and I need not say that the wisdom of his Majesty doth more than ensure—”

“My good Master Heriot,” said Sir Edward, “we're following the orders of someone better and wiser than us—his Majesty's commands must be strictly and literally followed; and I don’t need to say that the wisdom of his Majesty guarantees more than—”

“I know his Majesty's wisdom well,” said Heriot; “yet there is an old proverb about fire and flax—well, let it pass.”

“I know his Majesty's wisdom well,” said Heriot; “but there's an old saying about fire and flax—never mind.”

“I see Sir Mungo Malagrowther stalking towards the door of the lodging,” said the Lady Mansel, “with the gait of a lame crane—it is his second visit this morning.”

“I see Sir Mungo Malagrowther walking towards the door of the place,” said Lady Mansel, “with the way he moves like a limping crane—it’s his second visit this morning.”

“He brought the warrant for discharging Lord Glenvarloch of the charge of treason,” said Sir Edward.

"He brought the warrant to clear Lord Glenvarloch of the treason charge," said Sir Edward.

“And from him,” said Heriot, “I heard much of what had befallen; for I came from France only late last evening, and somewhat unexpectedly.”

“And from him,” said Heriot, “I heard a lot about what had happened; I came from France just last night, and it was a bit unexpected.”

As they spoke, Sir Mungo entered the apartment—saluted the Lieutenant of the Tower and his lady with ceremonious civility—honoured George Heriot with a patronising nod of acknowledgment, and accosted Margaret with—“Hey! my young charge, you have not doffed your masculine attire yet?”

As they chatted, Sir Mungo walked into the room—greeted the Lieutenant of the Tower and his lady with formal politeness—gave George Heriot a condescending nod of recognition, and approached Margaret with—“Hey! my young charge, you haven't changed out of your boy's clothes yet?”

“She does not mean to lay it aside, Sir Mungo,” said Heriot, speaking loud, “until she has had satisfaction from you, for betraying her disguise to me, like a false knight—and in very deed, Sir Mungo, I think when you told me she was rambling about in so strange a dress, you might have said also that she was under Lady Mansel's protection.”

“She doesn’t plan to drop it, Sir Mungo,” Heriot said loudly, “until she gets satisfaction from you for exposing her disguise to me, like a fake knight—and honestly, Sir Mungo, I think when you told me she was wandering around in such a strange outfit, you could have mentioned that she was under Lady Mansel's protection too.”

“That was the king's secret, Master Heriot,” said Sir Mungo, throwing himself into a chair with an air of atrabilarious importance; “the other was a well-meaning hint to yourself, as the girl's friend.”

“That was the king's secret, Master Heriot,” said Sir Mungo, flopping into a chair with a mood of gloomy significance; “the other was a thoughtful suggestion for you, as the girl's friend.”

“Yes,” replied Heriot, “it was done like yourself—enough told to make me unhappy about her—not a word which could relieve my uneasiness.”

“Yes,” replied Heriot, “it was just like you—enough said to make me worry about her—not a single word that could ease my discomfort.”

“Sir Mungo will not hear that remark,” said the lady; “we must change the subject.—Is there any news from Court, Sir Mungo? you have been to Greenwich?”

“Sir Mungo won’t accept that comment,” the lady said; “let’s change the subject.—Is there any news from the Court, Sir Mungo? You’ve been to Greenwich, right?”

“You might as well ask me, madam,” answered the Knight, “whether there is any news from hell.”

“You might as well ask me, ma'am,” replied the Knight, “if there’s any news from hell.”

“How, Sir Mungo, how!” said Sir Edward, “measure your words something better—You speak of the Court of King James.”

“How, Sir Mungo, how!” said Sir Edward, “choose your words a bit more carefully—you’re talking about the Court of King James.”

“Sir Edward, if I spoke of the court of the twelve Kaisers, I would say it is as confused for the present as the infernal regions. Courtiers of forty years' standing, and such I may write myself, are as far to seek in the matter as a minnow in the Maelstrom. Some folk say the king has frowned on the Prince—some that the Prince has looked grave on the duke—some that Lord Glenvarloch will be hanged for high treason—and some that there is matter against Lord Dalgarno that may cost him as much as his head's worth.”

“Sir Edward, if I talked about the court of the twelve Kaisers, I would say it’s just as chaotic now as the underworld. Courtiers who have been around for forty years, and I can count myself among them, are as lost in this situation as a small fish in a whirlpool. Some people say the king has scowled at the Prince—others say the Prince has given the duke a serious look—some claim Lord Glenvarloch is going to be executed for treason—and some say there’s something against Lord Dalgarno that might cost him his life.”

“And what do you, that are a courtier of forty years' standing, think of it all?” said Sir Edward Mansel.

“And what do you, who have been a courtier for forty years, think of all this?” said Sir Edward Mansel.

“Nay, nay, do not ask him, Sir Edward,” said the lady, with an expressive look to her husband.

“Nah, nah, don’t ask him, Sir Edward,” said the lady, giving her husband a meaningful look.

“Sir Mungo is too witty,” added Master Heriot, “to remember that he who says aught that may be repeated to his own prejudice, does but load a piece for any of the company to shoot him dead with, at their pleasure and convenience.”

“Sir Mungo is way too clever,” Master Heriot added, “to forget that anyone who says something that could be used against them is just giving others the chance to take a shot at them whenever they want.”

“What!” said the bold Knight, “you think I am afraid of the trepan? Why now, what if I should say that Dalgarno has more wit than honesty,—the duke more sail than ballast,—the Prince more pride than prudence,—and that the king—” The Lady Mansel held up her finger in a warning manner—“that the king is my very good master, who has given me, for forty years and more, dog's wages, videlicit, bones and beating.—Why now, all this is said, and Archie Armstrong [Footnote: The celebrated Court jester.] says worse than this of the best of them every day.”

“What!” said the bold Knight, “you think I’m scared of the trepan? Well, what if I said that Dalgarno has more cleverness than honesty,—the duke has more show than substance,—the Prince has more arrogance than wisdom,—and that the king—” The Lady Mansel raised her finger in a warning way—“that the king is my very good master, who has given me, for over forty years, pitiful wages, namely, scraps and beatings.—Well, all this has been said, and Archie Armstrong [Footnote: The celebrated Court jester.] says worse than this about the best of them every day.”

“The more fool he,” said George Heriot; “yet he is not so utterly wrong, for folly is his best wisdom. But do not you, Sir Mungo, set your wit against a fool's, though he be a court fool.”

“The more foolish he is,” said George Heriot; “yet he’s not completely wrong, because folly is his greatest wisdom. But don’t you, Sir Mungo, pit your intellect against a fool’s, even if he is a court jester.”

“A fool, said you?” replied Sir Mungo, not having fully heard what Master Heriot said, or not choosing to have it thought so,—“I have been a fool indeed, to hang on at a close-fisted Court here, when men of understanding and men of action have been making fortunes in every other place of Europe. But here a man comes indifferently off unless he gets a great key to turn,” (looking at Sir Edward,) “or can beat tattoo with a hammer on a pewter plate.—Well, sirs, I must make as much haste back on mine errand as if I were a fee'd messenger.—Sir Edward and my lady, I leave my commendations with you—and my good-will with you, Master Heriot—and for this breaker of bounds, if you will act by my counsel, some maceration by fasting, and a gentle use of the rod, is the best cure for her giddy fits.”

“A fool, did you say?” replied Sir Mungo, not fully hearing what Master Heriot had said, or perhaps choosing not to let it be thought so. “I have indeed been a fool to stick around this stingy Court when smart and capable men have been making fortunes all across Europe. Here, a man comes away with hardly anything unless he has a big key to turn,” (glancing at Sir Edward,) “or can pound on a pewter plate like a drum. Well, gentlemen, I must hurry back on my errand as if I were a paid messenger. Sir Edward and my lady, I send my regards to you—and my good wishes to you, Master Heriot—and for this troublemaker, if you’ll take my advice, some fasting and a light touch of the rod is the best cure for her wild moments.”

“If you propose for Greenwich, Sir Mungo,” said the Lieutenant, “I can spare you the labour—the king comes immediately to Whitehall.”

“If you're suggesting Greenwich, Sir Mungo,” said the Lieutenant, “I can save you the trouble—the king is coming directly to Whitehall.”

“And that must be the reason the council are summoned to meet in such hurry,” said Sir Mungo. “Well—I will, with your permission, go to the poor lad Glenvarloch, and bestow some comfort on him.”

“And that must be why the council was called to meet in such a hurry,” said Sir Mungo. “Well—I will, with your permission, go to the poor guy Glenvarloch and give him some comfort.”

The Lieutenant seemed to look up, and pause for a moment as if in doubt.

The Lieutenant appeared to look up and hesitated for a moment, as if unsure.

“The lad will want a pleasant companion, who can tell him the nature of the punishment which he is to suffer, and other matters of concernment. I will not leave him until I show him how absolutely he hath ruined himself from feather to spur, how deplorable is his present state, and how small his chance of mending it.”

“The kid will want a nice friend who can explain the punishment he’s going to face and other important stuff. I won’t leave him until I show him just how badly he has messed up from head to toe, how terrible his current situation is, and how slim his chances are of fixing it.”

“Well, Sir Mungo,” replied the Lieutenant, “if you really think all this likely to be very consolatory to the party concerned, I will send a warder to conduct you.”

“Well, Sir Mungo,” replied the Lieutenant, “if you truly believe all this is going to be very comforting to the person involved, I’ll send an officer to take you there.”

“And I,” said George Heriot, “will humbly pray of Lady Mansel, that she will lend some of her handmaiden's apparel to this giddy-brained girl; for I shall forfeit my reputation if I walk up Tower Hill with her in that mad guise—and yet the silly lassie looks not so ill in it neither.”

“And I,” said George Heriot, “humbly ask Lady Mansel if she would lend some of her maid's clothes to this scatterbrained girl; because I’ll lose my reputation if I walk up Tower Hill with her dressed like that—and yet the silly girl doesn’t look too bad in it either.”

“I will send my coach with you instantly,” said the obliging lady.

"I'll send my coach with you right away," said the accommodating lady.

“Faith, madam, and if you will honour us by such courtesy, I will gladly accept it at your hands,” said the citizen, “for business presses hard on me, and the forenoon is already lost, to little purpose.”

“Sure, ma'am, and if you’ll do us the honor of being so kind, I’ll gladly accept it from you,” said the citizen, “because I’m really busy, and the morning has already gone by, to little effect.”

The coach being ordered accordingly, transported the worthy citizen and his charge to his mansion in Lombard Street. There he found his presence was anxiously expected by the Lady Hermione, who had just received an order to be in readiness to attend upon the Royal Privy Council in the course of an hour; and upon whom, in her inexperience of business, and long retirement from society and the world, the intimation had made as deep an impression as if it had not been the necessary consequence of the petition which she had presented to the king by Monna Paula. George Heriot gently blamed her for taking any steps in an affair so important until his return from France, especially as he had requested her to remain quiet, in a letter which accompanied the evidence he had transmitted to her from Paris. She could only plead in answer the influence which her immediately stirring in the matter was likely to have on the affair of her kinsman Lord Glenvarloch, for she was ashamed to acknowledge how much she had been gained on by the eager importunity of her youthful companion. The motive of Margaret's eagerness was, of course, the safety of Nigel; but we must leave it to time to show in what particulars that came to be connected with the petition of the Lady Hermione. Meanwhile, we return to the visit with which Sir Mungo Malagrowther favoured the afflicted young nobleman in his place of captivity.

The coach, following orders, took the respected citizen and his companion to his home on Lombard Street. There, he discovered that Lady Hermione was anxiously awaiting his arrival; she had just been informed to be ready to attend the Royal Privy Council in about an hour. Given her lack of experience with such matters and her long time away from society, this news hit her as hard as if it were not just a direct result of the petition she had submitted to the king through Monna Paula. George Heriot gently scolded her for taking any action on such an important issue before his return from France, especially since he had asked her to stay quiet in a letter that accompanied the evidence he had sent her from Paris. In response, she could only explain that her immediate involvement could potentially affect her cousin Lord Glenvarloch's situation, feeling embarrassed to admit how much she had been influenced by the passionate insistence of her young friend. Margaret's eagerness was, of course, driven by concern for Nigel's safety; however, we must wait to see how this connects with Lady Hermione's petition. In the meantime, let's return to the visit that Sir Mungo Malagrowther made to the troubled young nobleman in his place of imprisonment.

The Knight, after the usual salutations, and having prefaced his discourse with a great deal of professed regret for Nigel's situation, sat down beside him, and composing his grotesque features into the most lugubrious despondence, began his raven song as follows:—

The Knight, after the usual greetings, and expressing a lot of supposed sympathy for Nigel's situation, sat down next to him and, turning his exaggerated features into a look of deep sadness, started his gloomy talk like this:—

“I bless God, my lord, that I was the person who had the pleasure to bring his Majesty's mild message to the Lieutenant, discharging the higher prosecution against ye, for any thing meditated against his Majesty's sacred person; for, admit you be prosecuted on the lesser offence, or breach of privilege of the Palace and its precincts, usque ad mutilationem, even to dismemberation, as it is most likely you will, yet the loss of a member is nothing to being hanged and drawn quick, after the fashion of a traitor.”

“I thank God, my lord, that I was the one who had the honor of delivering his Majesty's gentle message to the Lieutenant, relieving you from any serious charges against his Majesty’s sacred person. Even if you are prosecuted for the lesser offense or violation of the Palace and its grounds, usque ad mutilationem, even to dismemberment, as is quite likely to happen, losing a limb is nothing compared to being hanged and drawn alive, like a traitor.”

“I should feel the shame of having deserved such a punishment,” answered Nigel, “more than the pain of undergoing it.”

“I should feel more shame for deserving such a punishment,” answered Nigel, “than for the pain of actually going through it.”

“Doubtless, my lord, the having, as you say, deserved it, must be an excruciation to your own mind,” replied his tormentor; “a kind of mental and metaphysical hanging, drawing, and quartering, which may be in some measure equipollent with the external application of hemp, iron, fire, and the like, to the outer man.”

“Surely, my lord, knowing that you deserve it, must be a torture for your mind,” replied his tormentor; “a kind of mental and philosophical execution that might be comparable to the physical infliction of ropes, iron, fire, and so on, to the body.”

“I say, Sir Mungo,” repeated Nigel, “and beg you to understand my words, that I am unconscious of any error, save that of having arms on my person when I chanced to approach that of my Sovereign.”

“I mean, Sir Mungo,” repeated Nigel, “and I ask you to understand me, that I am not aware of any mistake, except for having weapons on me when I happened to get close to my Sovereign.”

“Ye are right, my lord, to acknowledge nothing,” said Sir Mungo. “We have an old proverb,—Confess, and—so forth. And indeed, as to the weapons, his Majesty has a special ill-will at all arms whatsoever, and more especially pistols; but, as I said, there is an end of that matter. [Footnote: Wilson informs us that when Colonel Grey, a Scotsman who affected the buff dress even in the time of peace, appeared in that military garb at Court, the king, seeing him with a case of pistols at his girdle, which he never greatly liked, told him, merrily, “he was now so fortified, that, if he were but well victualled, he would be impregnable.”—WILSON'S Life and Reign of James VI., apud KENNET'S History of England, vol. ii. p. 389. In 1612, the tenth year of James's reign, there was a rumour abroad that a shipload of pocket-pistols had been exported from Spain, with a view to a general massacre of the Protestants. Proclamations were of consequence sent forth, prohibiting all persons from carrying pistols under a foot long in the barrel. Ibid. p. 690.] I wish you as well through the next, which is altogether unlikely.”

“You're right, my lord, to deny everything,” said Sir Mungo. “We have an old saying—Confess, and so on. And indeed, regarding the weapons, His Majesty has a particular dislike for all arms, especially pistols; however, as I mentioned, that's the end of that topic. [Footnote: Wilson tells us that when Colonel Grey, a Scotsman who wore a buff uniform even in peacetime, showed up at Court in that military attire, the king saw him with a case of pistols on his belt, which he never truly liked, and jokingly told him, 'You're so fortified now that, if only you had enough provisions, you'd be impregnable.'—WILSON'S Life and Reign of James VI., apud KENNET'S History of England, vol. ii. p. 389. In 1612, the tenth year of James's reign, there was a rumor that a ship had been sent from Spain filled with pocket pistols with the intent of massacring Protestants. As a result, proclamations were issued forbidding anyone from carrying pistols with barrels shorter than a foot. Ibid. p. 690.] I wish you good fortune with the next one, which seems completely unlikely.”

“Surely, Sir Mungo,” answered Nigel, “you yourself might say something in my favour concerning the affair in the Park. None knows better than you that I was at that moment urged by wrongs of the most heinous nature, offered to me by Lord Dalgarno, many of which were reported to me by yourself, much to the inflammation of my passion.”

“Of course, Sir Mungo,” Nigel replied, “you could say something positive for me regarding what happened in the Park. No one knows better than you that I was at that moment driven by some truly terrible wrongs inflicted upon me by Lord Dalgarno, many of which you yourself told me about, which only fueled my anger.”

“Alack-a-day!-Alack-a-day!” replied Sir Mungo, “I remember but too well how much your choler was inflamed, in spite of the various remonstrances which I made to you respecting the sacred nature of the place. Alas! alas! you cannot say you leaped into the mire for want of warning.”

“Alas! Alas!” replied Sir Mungo, “I remember all too well how angry you got, despite the many warnings I gave you about the sacred nature of this place. Unfortunately! Unfortunately! You can't say you jumped into the mud without being warned.”

“I see, Sir Mungo, you are determined to remember nothing which can do me service,” said Nigel.

“I see, Sir Mungo, you’re set on forgetting anything that might help me,” said Nigel.

“Blithely would I do ye service,” said the Knight; “and the best whilk I can think of is, to tell you the process of the punishment to the whilk you will be indubitably subjected, I having had the good fortune to behold it performed in the Queen's time, on a chield that had written a pasquinado. I was then in my Lord Gray's train, who lay leaguer here, and being always covetous of pleasing and profitable sights, I could not dispense with being present on the occasion.”

“ I'd be happy to help you,” said the Knight; “and the best thing I can do is to tell you about the punishment you're definitely going to face, since I was lucky enough to see it carried out during the Queen's reign on a guy who had written a satirical poem. I was with Lord Gray's entourage at the time, who was camped here, and since I was always eager for interesting and worthwhile experiences, I couldn't resist being there for it.”

“I should be surprised, indeed,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “if you had so far put restraint upon your benevolence, as to stay away from such an exhibition.”

“I would really be surprised,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “if you had managed to hold back your kindness enough to skip such an event.”

“Hey! was your lordship praying me to be present at your own execution?” answered the Knight. “Troth, my lord, it will be a painful sight to a friend, but I will rather punish myself than baulk you. It is a pretty pageant, in the main—a very pretty pageant. The fallow came on with such a bold face, it was a pleasure to look on him. He was dressed all in white, to signify harmlessness and innocence. The thing was done on a scaffold at Westminster—most likely yours will be at the Charing. There were the Sheriffs and the Marshal's men, and what not—the executioner, with his cleaver and mallet, and his man, with a pan of hot charcoal, and the irons for cautery. He was a dexterous fallow that Derrick. This man Gregory is not fit to jipper a joint with him; it might be worth your lordship's while to have the loon sent to a barber-surgeon's, to learn some needful scantling of anatomy—it may be for the benefit of yourself and other unhappy sufferers, and also a kindness to Gregory.”

“Hey! Were you asking me to be there for your own execution?” the Knight replied. “Honestly, my lord, it’ll be a tough sight for a friend, but I’d rather suffer myself than let you down. It’s quite a show overall—really quite a show. The guy in charge came out with such confidence, it was a pleasure to see him. He was dressed in all white to symbolize harmlessness and innocence. The event took place on a scaffold at Westminster—most likely yours will be at Charing. There were the Sheriffs and the Marshal's men, and so on—the executioner, with his cleaver and mallet, and his assistant, with a pan of hot coals and the tools for cauterizing. That guy Derrick was skilled. This man Gregory isn’t fit to even cut a joint like he did; it might be worth your while to have him sent to a barber-surgeon to learn some essential basics of anatomy—it could help you and other poor souls, and also be a favor to Gregory.”

“I will not take the trouble,” said Nigel.—“If the laws will demand my hand, the executioner may get it off as he best can. If the king leaves it where it is, it may chance to do him better service.”

“I won’t bother,” said Nigel. “If the laws want my hand, the executioner can take it off however he sees fit. If the king leaves it as it is, it might end up being more useful to him.”

“Vera noble—vera grand, indeed, my lord,” said Sir Mungo; “it is pleasant to see a brave man suffer. This fallow whom I spoke of—This Tubbs, or Stubbs, or whatever the plebeian was called, came forward as bold as an emperor, and said to the people, 'Good friends, I come to leave here the hand of a true Englishman,' and clapped it on the dressing-block with as much ease as if he had laid it on his sweetheart's shoulder; whereupon Derrick the hangman, adjusting, d'ye mind me, the edge of his cleaver on the very joint, hit it with the mallet with such force, that the hand flew off as far from the owner as a gauntlet which the challenger casts down in the tilt-yard. Well, sir, Stubbs, or Tubbs, lost no whit of countenance, until the fallow clapped the hissing-hot iron on his raw stump. My lord, it fizzed like a rasher of bacon, and the fallow set up an elritch screech, which made some think his courage was abated; but not a whit, for he plucked off his hat with his left hand, and waved it, crying, 'God save the Queen, and confound all evil counsellors!' The people gave him three cheers, which he deserved for his stout heart; and, truly, I hope to see your lordship suffer with the same magnanimity.”

“Really noble—truly impressive, my lord,” said Sir Mungo; “it’s quite something to see a brave man endure. The guy I mentioned—this Tubbs, or Stubbs, or whatever the common fellow was called, stepped up as boldly as an emperor and said to the crowd, 'Good friends, I’m here to leave behind the hand of a true Englishman,' slapping it down on the dressing block as casually as if he were placing it on his sweetheart's shoulder; then Derrick the hangman, adjusting, you know, the edge of his cleaver right on the joint, struck it with the mallet so hard that the hand flew off as far from the owner as a gauntlet thrown down by a challenger in the jousting field. Well, sir, Stubbs, or Tubbs, didn’t lose his composure at all, until the fellow placed the hissing-hot iron on his raw stump. My lord, it sizzled like a strip of bacon, and the fellow let out a piercing scream, which led some to think his courage had faltered; but not at all, for he took off his hat with his left hand and waved it, shouting, 'God save the Queen, and curse all bad advisers!' The crowd gave him three cheers, which he fully earned for his brave heart; and, truly, I hope to see your lordship endure with the same spirit.”

“I thank you, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, who had not been able to forbear some natural feelings of an unpleasant nature during this lively detail,—“I have no doubt the exhibition will be a very engaging one to you and the other spectators, whatever it may prove to the party principally concerned.”

“I appreciate it, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, who couldn’t help but feel some uncomfortable emotions during this animated description, “I’m sure the show will be very entertaining for you and the other viewers, no matter how it turns out for the people directly involved.”

“Vera engaging,” answered Sir Mungo, “vera interesting—vera interesting indeed, though not altogether so much so as an execution for high treason. I saw Digby, the Winters, Fawkes, and the rest of the gunpowder gang, suffer for that treason, whilk was a vera grand spectacle, as well in regard to their sufferings, as to their constancy in enduring.”

“Very engaging,” answered Sir Mungo, “very interesting—very interesting indeed, though not quite as much as an execution for high treason. I saw Digby, the Winters, Fawkes, and the rest of the gunpowder gang, pay for that treason, which was a very grand spectacle, both because of their sufferings and their determination in enduring.”

“I am the more obliged to your goodness, Sir Mungo,” replied Nigel, “that has induced you, although you have lost the sight, to congratulate me on my escape from the hazard of making the same edifying appearance.”

“I’m even more grateful for your kindness, Sir Mungo,” Nigel replied, “for it has led you, despite your loss of sight, to congratulate me on my lucky escape from facing the same embarrassing situation.”

“As you say, my lord,” answered Sir Mungo, “the loss is chiefly in appearance. Nature has been very bountiful to us, and has given duplicates of some organs, that we may endure the loss of one of them, should some such circumstance chance in our pilgrimage. See my poor dexter, abridged to one thumb, one finger, and a stump,—by the blow of my adversary's weapon, however, and not by any carnificial knife. Weel, sir, this poor maimed hand doth me, in some sort, as much service as ever; and, admit yours to be taken off by the wrist, you have still your left hand for your service, and are better off than the little Dutch dwarf here about town, who threads a needle, limns, writes, and tosses a pike, merely by means of his feet, without ever a hand to help him.”

“As you say, my lord,” replied Sir Mungo, “the loss is mostly about looks. Nature has been quite generous to us, giving us duplicates of some organs, so we can get by if we lose one during our journey. Look at my poor right hand, reduced to a thumb, a finger, and a stump—by a blow from my opponent's weapon, not from any cruel knife. Well, sir, this poor injured hand is still quite useful to me. And if yours were to be taken off at the wrist, you’d still have your left hand to help you, making you better off than the small Dutch dwarf in town, who threads a needle, paints, writes, and handles a pike using only his feet, without any hands to assist him.”

“Well, Sir Mungo,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “this is all no doubt very consolatory; but I hope the king will spare my hand to fight for him in battle, where, notwithstanding all your kind encouragement, I could spend my blood much more cheerfully than on a scaffold.”

“Well, Sir Mungo,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “this is all very reassuring; but I hope the king will let me fight for him in battle, where, despite all your kind encouragement, I would much rather shed my blood than on a scaffold.”

“It is even a sad truth,” replied Sir Mungo, “that your lordship was but too like to have died on a scaffold—not a soul to speak for you but that deluded lassie Maggie Ramsay.”

“It’s a sad truth,” replied Sir Mungo, “that you were almost executed on a scaffold—nobody to stand up for you except that misguided girl, Maggie Ramsay.”

“Whom mean you?” said Nigel, with more interest than he had hitherto shown in the Knight's communications.

“Who do you mean?” said Nigel, showing more interest than he had previously in the Knight's messages.

“Nay, who should I mean, but that travestied lassie whom we dined with when we honoured Heriot the goldsmith? Ye ken best how you have made interest with her, but I saw her on her knees to the king for you. She was committed to my charge, to bring her up hither in honour and safety. Had I had my own will, I would have had her to Bridewell, to flog the wild blood out of her—a cutty quean, to think of wearing the breeches, and not so much as married yet!”

“Nay, who could I mean but that disguised girl we had dinner with when we honored Heriot the goldsmith? You know best how you got close to her, but I saw her begging the king for you. She was entrusted to me to bring her here safely and honorably. If it had been up to me, I would have sent her to Bridewell to beat the wildness out of her—a bold little hussy, thinking she could wear the pants without even being married yet!”

“Hark ye, Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” answered Nigel, “I would have you talk of that young person with fitting respect.”

“Hear me, Sir Mungo Malagrowther,” replied Nigel, “I would like you to speak about that young person with proper respect.”

“With all the respect that befits your lordship's paramour, and Davy Ramsay's daughter, I shall certainly speak of her, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, assuming a dry tone of irony.

“With all the respect that your lordship's partner deserves, and Davy Ramsay's daughter, I will definitely talk about her, my lord,” said Sir Mungo, adopting a sarcastic tone.

Nigel was greatly disposed to have made a serious quarrel of it, but with Sir Mungo such an affair would have been ridiculous; he smothered his resentment, therefore, and conjured him to tell what he had heard and seen respecting this young person.

Nigel was really inclined to turn it into a serious argument, but with Sir Mungo, that would have been ridiculous; so he held back his anger and urged him to share what he had heard and seen about this young person.

“Simply, that I was in the ante-room when she had audience, and heard the king say, to my great perplexity, 'Pulchra sane puella;' and Maxwell, who hath but indifferent Latin ears, thought that his Majesty called on him by his own name of Sawney, and thrust into the presence, and there I saw our Sovereign James, with his own hand, raising up the lassie, who, as I said heretofore, was travestied in man's attire. I should have had my own thoughts of it, but our gracious Master is auld, and was nae great gillravager amang the queans even in his youth; and he was comforting her in his own way and saying,—'Ye needna greet about it, my bonnie woman, Glenvarlochides shall have fair play; and, indeed, when the hurry was off our spirits, we could not believe that he had any design on our person. And touching his other offences, we will look wisely and closely into the matter.' So I got charge to take the young fence-louper to the Tower here, and deliver her to the charge of Lady Mansel; and his Majesty charged me to say not a word to her about your offences, for, said he, the poor thing is breaking her heart for him.”

“Basically, I was in the waiting room when she had her meeting, and I heard the king say, to my great confusion, 'Pretty girl indeed;' and Maxwell, who doesn’t have much of an ear for Latin, thought the king was calling for him by his own name, Sawney, and rushed into the room. That’s when I saw our Sovereign James lifting up the girl, who, as I mentioned before, was dressed like a man. I might have had my own ideas about it, but our gracious Master is old and wasn't much of a ladies' man even when he was younger; he was comforting her in his own way, saying, 'You don’t need to cry about it, my lovely woman, Glenvarlochides will have fair treatment; and honestly, once the rush of emotions faded, we couldn't believe he had any plans for us. As for his other offenses, we’ll investigate that thoroughly.' So I was instructed to take the young troublemaker to the Tower and hand her over to Lady Mansel; and the king told me not to say a word to her about your issues, because, he said, the poor thing is heartbroken over him.”

“And on this you have charitably founded the opinion to the prejudice of this young lady, which you have now thought proper to express?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“And on this, you have generously formed an opinion that unfairly affects this young lady, which you now feel is appropriate to share?” said Lord Glenvarloch.

“In honest truth, my lord,” replied Sir Mungo, “what opinion would you have me form of a wench who gets into male habiliments, and goes on her knees to the king for a wild young nobleman? I wot not what the fashionable word may be, for the phrase changes, though the custom abides. But truly I must needs think this young leddy—if you call Watchie Ramsay's daughter a young leddy—demeans herself more like a leddy of pleasure than a leddy of honour.”

“In all honesty, my lord,” replied Sir Mungo, “what should I think of a girl who dresses like a man and begs the king for a wild young nobleman? I don’t know what the trendy term is now, as the words change even if the behavior stays the same. But honestly, I can’t help but think this young lady—if you want to call Watchie Ramsay's daughter a young lady—acts more like a woman of pleasure than a woman of honor.”

“You do her egregious wrong, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel; “or rather you have been misled by appearances.”

“You're seriously mistaken, Sir Mungo,” said Nigel; “or more accurately, you've been misled by how things seem.”

“So will all the world be misled, my lord,” replied the satirist, “unless you were doing that to disabuse them which your father's son will hardly judge it fit to do.”

“So will the whole world be misled, my lord,” replied the satirist, “unless you are doing that to set them straight, which your father's son will hardly consider appropriate to do.”

“And what may that be, I pray you?”

“And what could that be, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“E'en marry the lass—make her Leddy Glenvarloch.—Ay, ay, ye may start—but it's the course you are driving on. Rather marry than do worse, if the worst be not done already.”

“Just marry the girl—make her Lady Glenvarloch.—Yeah, yeah, you might be surprised—but that’s the path you’re on. Better to marry than to make things worse, if the worst hasn’t happened already.”

“Sir Mungo,” said Nigel, “I pray you to forbear this subject, and rather return to that of the mutilation, upon which it pleased you to enlarge a short while since.”

“Sir Mungo,” Nigel said, “I ask you to drop this topic and instead go back to discussing the mutilation, which you seemed to want to elaborate on a little while ago.”

“I have not time at present,” said Sir Mungo, hearing the clock strike four; “but so soon as you shall have received sentence, my lord, you may rely on my giving you the fullest detail of the whole solemnity; and I give you my word, as a knight and a gentleman, that I will myself attend you on the scaffold, whoever may cast sour looks on me for doing so. I bear a heart, to stand by a friend in the worst of times.”

“I don’t have time right now,” said Sir Mungo, hearing the clock strike four. “But as soon as you receive your sentence, my lord, you can count on me to give you all the details of the whole situation. I promise, as a knight and a gentleman, that I will be there with you on the scaffold, no matter who gives me a hard time for it. I have the courage to stand by a friend in the worst of times.”

So saying, he wished Lord Glenvarloch farewell; who felt as heartily rejoiced at his departure, though it may be a bold word, as any person who had ever undergone his society.

So saying, he said goodbye to Lord Glenvarloch, who felt as genuinely relieved by his departure, though it may be a strong word, as anyone who had ever spent time with him.

But, when left to his own reflections, Nigel could not help feeling solitude nearly as irksome as the company of Sir Mungo Malagrowther. The total wreck of his fortune,—which seemed now to be rendered unavoidable by the loss of the royal warrant, that had afforded him the means of redeeming his paternal estate,—was an unexpected and additional blow. When he had seen the warrant he could not precisely remember; but was inclined to think, it was in the casket when he took out money to pay the miser for his lodgings at Whitefriars. Since then, the casket had been almost constantly under his own eye, except during the short time he was separated from his baggage by the arrest in Greenwich Park. It might, indeed, have been taken out at that time, for he had no reason to think either his person or his property was in the hands of those who wished him well; but, on the other hand, the locks of the strong-box had sustained no violence that he could observe, and, being of a particular and complicated construction, he thought they could scarce be opened without an instrument made on purpose, adapted to their peculiarities, and for this there had been no time. But, speculate as he would on the matter, it was clear that this important document was gone, and probable that it had passed into no friendly hands. “Let it be so,” said Nigel to himself; “I am scarcely worse off respecting my prospects of fortune, than when I first reached this accursed city. But to be hampered with cruel accusations, and stained with foul suspicions-to be the object of pity of the most degrading kind to yonder honest citizen, and of the malignity of that envious and atrabilarious courtier, who can endure the good fortune and good qualities of another no more than the mole can brook sunshine—this is indeed a deplorable reflection; and the consequences must stick to my future life, and impede whatever my head, or my hand, if it is left me, might be able to execute in my favour.”

But when Nigel was alone with his thoughts, he couldn't help but feel that being alone was almost as annoying as being with Sir Mungo Malagrowther. The complete ruin of his fortune—something that now seemed unavoidable due to the loss of the royal warrant, which had allowed him to save his family estate—was another unexpected blow. He couldn't recall exactly when he last saw the warrant but thought it was in the box when he took out money to pay the miser for his lodgings at Whitefriars. Since then, the box had been mostly in his sight, except for the brief period he was separated from his luggage during the arrest in Greenwich Park. It could have been taken then, as he had no reason to believe that either he or his belongings were in the hands of people who had his best interests at heart. However, the strongbox had shown no signs of tampering that he could see, and since it was a specific and complex design, he figured it would be really hard to open without a specially made tool, and there hadn't been any time for that. Regardless of how much he thought about it, it was clear that this important document was missing, and it was likely in unfriendly hands. "So be it," Nigel told himself. "I'm hardly worse off regarding my prospects than when I first arrived in this cursed city. But to be weighed down by cruel accusations and tarnished by foul suspicions—to be the object of pity from that honest citizen over there, and the target of malice from that jealous, bitter courtier, who can't stand anyone else's good fortune or qualities any more than a mole can tolerate sunshine—this is truly a disheartening thought; and the impact of this will surely follow me for the rest of my life, hindering whatever I might be able to accomplish with my mind or my hands, if I'm left with them."

The feeling, that he is the object of general dislike and dereliction, seems to be one of the most unendurably painful to which a human being can be subjected. The most atrocious criminals, whose nerves have not shrunk from perpetrating the most horrid cruelty, endure more from the consciousness that no man will sympathise with their sufferings, than from apprehension of the personal agony of their impending punishment; and are known often to attempt to palliate their enormities, and sometimes altogether to deny what is established by the clearest proof, rather than to leave life under the general ban of humanity. It was no wonder that Nigel, labouring under the sense of general, though unjust suspicion, should, while pondering on so painful a theme, recollect that one, at least, had not only believed him innocent, but hazarded herself, with all her feeble power, to interpose in his behalf.

The feeling of being the target of widespread dislike and abandonment seems to be one of the most unbearably painful experiences a person can go through. Even the most terrible criminals, who have committed the most horrific acts, suffer more from the awareness that no one will empathize with their pain than from the fear of the personal agony of their punishment. They often try to justify their actions or even deny what has been proven beyond doubt, rather than face life as an outcast from humanity. It’s no surprise that Nigel, burdened by the sense of unfair suspicion, while reflecting on such a painful subject, would remember that at least one person not only believed in his innocence but also risked everything she could, however small, to stand up for him.

“Poor girl!” he repeated; “poor, rash, but generous maiden! your fate is that of her in Scottish story, who thrust her arm into the staple of the door, to oppose it as a bar against the assassins who threatened the murder of her sovereign. The deed of devotion was useless; save to give an immortal name to her by whom it was done, and whose blood flows, it is said, in the veins of my house.”

“Poor girl!” he repeated; “poor, impulsive, but kind-hearted young woman! Your fate is like that of the girl from Scottish legend, who stuck her arm in the door’s staple to hold it shut against the assassins trying to kill her king. Her act of devotion was in vain; it only served to give her an everlasting name, and they say her blood runs in the veins of my family.”

I cannot explain to the reader, whether the recollection of this historical deed of devotion, and the lively effect which the comparison, a little overstrained perhaps, was likely to produce in favour of Margaret Ramsay, was not qualified by the concomitant ideas of ancestry and ancient descent with which that recollection was mingled. But the contending feelings suggested a new train of ideas.—“Ancestry,” he thought, “and ancient descent, what are they to me?—My patrimony alienated—my title become a reproach—for what can be so absurd as titled beggary?—my character subjected to suspicion,—I will not remain in this country; and should I, at leaving it, procure the society of one so lovely, so brave, and so faithful, who should say that I derogated from the rank which I am virtually renouncing?”

I can't explain to the reader whether the memory of this historical act of devotion, and the strong effect that the somewhat exaggerated comparison was likely to have in favor of Margaret Ramsay, was tainted by the accompanying thoughts of ancestry and noble lineage that were mixed in with that memory. But these conflicting feelings sparked a new line of thought. “Ancestry,” he considered, “and noble lineage, what do they mean to me?—My inheritance taken away—my title turned into a shame—what could be more ridiculous than titled poverty?—my character under suspicion—I won’t stay in this country; and if, when I leave, I manage to be with someone so beautiful, so brave, and so loyal, who would say that I am lessening the status I am essentially abandoning?”

There was something romantic and pleasing, as he pursued this picture of an attached and faithful pair, becoming all the world to each other, and stemming the tide of fate arm in arm; and to be linked thus with a creature so beautiful, and who had taken such devoted and disinterested concern in his fortunes, formed itself into such a vision as romantic youth loves best to dwell upon.

There was something romantic and enjoyable about his dream of a devoted and loyal couple, becoming everything to each other and facing life's challenges together; and to be connected with someone so beautiful, who genuinely cared about his well-being, created a vision that young romantics love to fantasize about.

Suddenly his dream was painfully dispelled, by the recollection, that its very basis rested upon the most selfish ingratitude on his own part. Lord of his castle and his towers, his forests and fields, his fair patrimony and noble name, his mind would have rejected, as a sort of impossibility, the idea of elevating to his rank the daughter of a mechanic; but, when degraded from his nobility, and plunged into poverty and difficulties, he was ashamed to feel himself not unwilling, that this poor girl, in the blindness of her affection, should abandon all the better prospects of her own settled condition, to embrace the precarious and doubtful course which he himself was condemned to. The generosity of Nigel's mind recoiled from the selfishness of the plan of happiness which he projected; and he made a strong effort to expel from his thoughts for the rest of the evening this fascinating female, or, at least, not to permit them to dwell upon the perilous circumstance, that she was at present the only creature living who seemed to consider him as an object of kindness.

Suddenly, his dream was painfully shattered by the realization that its very foundation was built on his own selfish ingratitude. As the lord of his castle, his towers, his forests and fields, his fair inheritance, and noble name, he had once dismissed the idea of elevating the daughter of a mechanic to his rank as impossible. But now, stripped of his nobility and plunged into poverty and struggles, he was ashamed to realize he wasn’t entirely opposed to the thought of this poor girl, blinded by her affection, giving up all her better prospects for the uncertain and risky path he was forced to take. The generosity of Nigel’s mind recoiled at the selfishness of the happiness he envisioned, and he made a strong effort to push this captivating woman from his thoughts for the rest of the evening or, at the very least, not to dwell on the risky fact that she was the only person who seemed to see him with kindness.

He could not, however, succeed in banishing her from his slumbers, when, after having spent a weary day, he betook himself to a perturbed couch. The form of Margaret mingled with the wild mass of dreams which his late adventures had suggested; and even when, copying the lively narrative of Sir Mungo, fancy presented to him the blood bubbling and hissing on the heated iron, Margaret stood behind him like a spirit of light, to breathe healing on the wound. At length nature was exhausted by these fantastic creations, and Nigel slept, and slept soundly, until awakened in the morning by the sound of a well-known voice, which had often broken his slumbers about the same hour.

He couldn't, however, manage to get her out of his dreams. After a long, tiring day, he lay down on a restless bed. The image of Margaret mixed with the chaotic dreams inspired by his recent adventures; even when he imagined the blood bubbling and hissing on the hot iron while recalling Sir Mungo's lively story, Margaret appeared behind him like a guiding spirit, ready to soothe his wounds. Eventually, his mind grew tired from these vivid fantasies, and Nigel fell into a deep sleep, only to be awakened in the morning by the sound of a familiar voice that had often disturbed his sleep around this time.










CHAPTER XXXI

  Many, come up, sir, with your gentle blood!
  Here's a red stream beneath this coarse blue doublet,
  That warms the heart as kindly as if drawn
  From the far source of old Assyrian kings.
  Who first made mankind subject to their sway.
                           Old Play.
Many, step forward, sir, with your noble heritage!  
There's a red stream beneath this rough blue coat,  
That warms the heart just like if it were drawn  
From the ancient lineage of Assyrian kings.  
Who first made humanity subject to their rule.  
                           Old Play.

The sounds to which we alluded in our last, were no other than the grumbling tones of Richie Moniplies's voice.

The sounds we mentioned in our last message were nothing other than the grumbling tones of Richie Moniplies's voice.

This worthy, like some other persons who rank high in their own opinion, was very apt, when he could have no other auditor, to hold conversation with one who was sure to be a willing listener—I mean with himself. He was now brushing and arranging Lord Glenvarloch's clothes, with as much composure and quiet assiduity as if he had never been out of his service, and grumbling betwixt whiles to the following purpose:—“Hump—ay, time cloak and jerkin were through my hands—I question if horsehair has been passed over them since they and I last parted. The embroidery finely frayed too—and the gold buttons of the cloak—By my conscience, and as I am an honest man, there is a round dozen of them gane! This comes of Alsatian frolics—God keep us with his grace, and not give us over to our own devices!—I see no sword—but that will be in respect of present circumstances.”

This guy, like many others who think highly of themselves, often found himself talking to the one person he knew would always listen—himself. He was currently brushing and organizing Lord Glenvarloch's clothes with the same calmness and carefulness as if he had never left his service, grumbling to himself along the way: “Hump—yeah, it’s about time I dealt with this cloak and jerkin—I doubt they’ve even been touched since we last parted ways. The embroidery is getting pretty frayed too—and the gold buttons on the cloak—Honestly, as I’m a decent guy, it looks like a whole dozen of them are gone! This is what happens with wild escapades—God help us and keep us from our own foolishness!—I don’t see a sword—but I guess that’s just how things are right now.”

Nigel for some time could not help believing that he was still in a dream, so improbable did it seem that his domestic, whom he supposed to be in Scotland, should have found him out, and obtained access to him, in his present circumstances. Looking through the curtains, however, he became well assured of the fact, when he beheld the stiff and bony length of Richie, with a visage charged with nearly double its ordinary degree of importance, employed sedulously in brushing his master's cloak, and refreshing himself with whistling or humming, from interval to interval, some snatch of an old melancholy Scottish ballad-tune. Although sufficiently convinced of the identity of the party, Lord Glenvarloch could not help expressing his surprise in the superfluous question—“In the name of Heaven, Richie, is this you?”

Nigel couldn't shake the feeling that he was still dreaming, as it seemed so unlikely that his servant, who he thought was in Scotland, had tracked him down and reached him under these circumstances. However, as he peeked through the curtains, he was convinced when he saw the tall and thin figure of Richie, wearing an unusually serious expression, diligently brushing his master's cloak, sometimes pausing to whistle or hum a few lines from an old, sad Scottish ballad. Even though he was sure it was Richie, Lord Glenvarloch couldn't help but ask in astonishment, “What on earth, Richie, is that really you?”

“And wha else suld it be, my lord?” answered Richie; “I dreamna that your lordship's levee in this place is like to be attended by ony that are not bounded thereto by duty.”

“And what else could it be, my lord?” answered Richie; “I can’t imagine that your lordship's gathering here will be attended by anyone who isn’t obligated to be there.”

“I am rather surprised,” answered Nigel, “that it should be attended by any one at all—especially by you, Richie; for you know that we parted, and I thought you had reached Scotland long since.”

“I’m quite surprised,” replied Nigel, “that anyone would be here at all—especially you, Richie; since you know we parted ways, and I thought you had already made it to Scotland.”

“I crave your lordship's pardon, but we have not parted yet, nor are soon likely so to do; for there gang twa folk's votes to the unmaking of a bargain, as to the making of ane. Though it was your lordship's pleasure so to conduct yourself that we were like to have parted, yet it was not, on reflection, my will to be gone. To be plain, if your lordship does not ken when you have a good servant, I ken when I have a kind master; and to say truth, you will be easier served now than ever, for there is not much chance of your getting out of bounds.”

“I ask for your lordship's forgiveness, but we haven't separated yet, nor are we likely to anytime soon; because it takes two people's votes to break a deal, just as it does to make one. Even though it seemed your lordship wanted us to part ways, upon thinking it over, I didn't actually want to leave. To be honest, if you don't know when you have a good servant, I know when I have a kind master; and to be truthful, you'll find it easier to get what you want now than ever, since there's not much chance of you going off course.”

“I am indeed bound over to good behaviour,” said Lord Glenvarloch, with a smile; “but I hope you will not take advantage of my situation to be too severe on my follies, Richie?”

“I am definitely committed to behaving myself,” said Lord Glenvarloch, smiling; “but I hope you won’t use my situation to be too harsh about my mistakes, Richie?”

“God forbid, my lord—God forbid!” replied Richie, with an expression betwixt a conceited consciousness of superior wisdom and real feeling—“especially in consideration of your lordship's having a due sense of them. I did indeed remonstrate, as was my humble duty, but I scorn to cast that up to your lordship now—Na, na, I am myself an erring creature—very conscious of some small weaknesses—there is no perfection in man.”

“God forbid, my lord—God forbid!” replied Richie, showing a mix of arrogant awareness of his own wisdom and genuine emotion—“especially considering that you are aware of these things, my lord. I did speak up, as it was my duty, but I won’t hold that against you now—No, no, I am also a flawed person—quite aware of my own small weaknesses—no one is perfect.”

“But, Richie,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “although I am much obliged to you for your proffered service, it can be of little use to me here, and may be of prejudice to yourself.”

“But, Richie,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “I really appreciate your offer to help, but it won't be very helpful to me right now, and it could put you in a tough spot.”

“Your lordship shall pardon me again,” said Richie, whom the relative situation of the parties had invested with ten times his ordinary dogmatism; “but as I will manage the matter, your lordship shall be greatly benefited by my service, and I myself no whit prejudiced.”

“Please forgive me once more, my lord,” said Richie, whose current situation gave him an inflated sense of confidence; “but if I handle this, you will benefit greatly from my help, and I won’t be disadvantaged at all.”

“I see not how that can be, my friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “since even as to your pecuniary affairs—”

“I don't see how that can be, my friend,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “since even regarding your financial matters—”

“Touching my pecuniars, my lord,” replied Richie, “I am indifferently weel provided; and, as it chances, my living here will be no burden to your lordship, or distress to myself. Only I crave permission to annex certain conditions to my servitude with your lordship.”

“Regarding my finances, my lord,” replied Richie, “I’m doing pretty well; and, as luck would have it, living here won’t be a burden to you or a strain on me. I just request permission to attach a few conditions to my service with your lordship.”

“Annex what you will,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “for you are pretty sure to take your own way, whether you make any conditions or not. Since you will not leave me, which were, I think, your wisest course, you must, and I suppose will, serve me only on such terms as you like yourself.”

“Add whatever you want,” said Lord Glenvarloch, “because you’re likely to do things your own way, regardless of any conditions. Since you’ve decided not to leave me, which I think would have been the smartest choice, you must, and I guess will, serve me only on terms that you find acceptable.”

“All that I ask, my lord,” said Richie, gravely, and with a tone of great moderation, “is to have the uninterrupted command of my own motions, for certain important purposes which I have now in hand, always giving your lordship the solace of my company and attendance, at such times as may be at once convenient for me, and necessary for your service.”

“All I ask, my lord,” Richie said seriously and in a very moderate tone, “is to have full control over my own actions for some important matters I’m currently dealing with, while still providing you with the comfort of my company and support whenever it’s convenient for me and necessary for your needs.”

“Of which, I suppose, you constitute yourself sole judge,” replied Nigel, smiling.

“Of which, I guess you make yourself the sole judge,” replied Nigel, smiling.

“Unquestionably, my lord,” answered Richie, gravely; “for your lordship can only know what yourself want; whereas I, who see both sides of the picture, ken both what is the best for your affairs, and what is the most needful for my own.”

“Absolutely, my lord,” replied Richie seriously; “because you can only know what you want; while I, who see both sides of the situation, understand both what’s best for your interests and what’s most necessary for my own.”

“Richie, my good friend,” said Nigel, “I fear this arrangement, which places the master much under the disposal of the servant, would scarce suit us if we were both at large; but a prisoner as I am, I may be as well at your disposal as I am at that of so many other persons; and so you may come and go as you list, for I suppose you will not take my advice, to return to your own country, and leave me to my fate.”

“Richie, my good friend,” said Nigel, “I worry that this setup, which puts the master largely at the mercy of the servant, wouldn't really work for us if we were both free; but as a prisoner, I might as well be at your service as I am to so many others. So, you can come and go as you please, even though I doubt you'll take my suggestion to go back to your own country and leave me to deal with my fate.”

“The deil be in my feet if I do,” said Moniplies,—“I am not the lad to leave your lordship in foul weather, when I followed you and fed upon you through the whole summer day, And besides, there may be brave days behind, for a' that has come and gane yet; for

“The devil take my feet if I do,” said Moniplies, “I’m not the guy to leave you in bad weather when I’ve followed you and depended on you all summer long. And besides, there might be better days ahead, despite all that has happened so far; for

“It's hame, and it's hame, and it's hame we fain would be, Though the cloud is in the lift, and the wind is on the lea; For the sun through the mirk blinks blithe on mine ee, Says,—'I'll shine on ye yet in our ain country!”

“It's home, and it's home, and it's home we really want to be, Even though the cloud is in the sky, and the wind is blowing; Because the sun through the darkness shines cheerfully in my eye, Says,—'I'll shine on you yet in our own country!”

Having sung this stanza in the manner of a ballad-singer, whose voice has been cracked by matching his windpipe against the bugle of the north blast, Richie Moniplies aided Lord Glenvarloch to rise, attended his toilet with every possible mark of the most solemn and deferential respect, then waited upon him at breakfast, and finally withdrew, pleading that he had business of importance, which would detain him for some hours.

Having sung this verse like a ballad singer whose voice is rough from competing with the harsh northern winds, Richie Moniplies helped Lord Glenvarloch to get up, assisted him with his grooming with all the respect and reverence possible, then served him breakfast, and finally excused himself, claiming that he had important business that would keep him occupied for several hours.

Although Lord Glenvarloch necessarily expected to be occasionally annoyed by the self-conceit and dogmatism of Richie Moniplies's character, yet he could not but feel the greatest pleasure from the firm and devoted attachment which this faithful follower had displayed in the present instance, and indeed promised himself an alleviation of the ennui of his imprisonment, in having the advantage of his services. It was, therefore, with pleasure that he learned from the warder, that his servant's attendance would be allowed at all times when the general rules of the fortress permitted the entrance of strangers.

Although Lord Glenvarloch expected to be occasionally annoyed by Richie Moniplies's self-importance and stubbornness, he couldn't help but feel great pleasure from the strong and loyal attachment this faithful follower had shown in this situation. He even anticipated that having Richie's company would help ease the boredom of his imprisonment. So, he was glad to hear from the guard that his servant could visit him whenever the fortress rules allowed strangers inside.

In the meanwhile, the magnanimous Richie Moniplies had already reached Tower Wharf. Here, after looking with contempt on several scullers by whom he was plied, and whose services he rejected with a wave of his hand, he called with dignity, “First oars!” and stirred into activity several lounging Tritons of the higher order, who had not, on his first appearance, thought it worth while to accost him with proffers of service. He now took possession of a wherry, folded his arms within his ample cloak, and sitting down in the stern with an air of importance, commanded them to row to Whitehall Stairs. Having reached the Palace in safety, he demanded to see Master Linklater, the under-clerk of his Majesty's kitchen. The reply was, that he was not to be spoken withal, being then employed in cooking a mess of cock-a-leekie for the king's own mouth.

In the meantime, the generous Richie Moniplies had already arrived at Tower Wharf. Here, after looking down on several rowboat operators who approached him and whom he dismissed with a wave of his hand, he called out confidently, “First oars!” This stirred several idling Tritons of the upper class into action, who hadn’t initially thought it necessary to approach him with offers of assistance. He then claimed a wherry, folded his arms in his large cloak, and sat down in the stern with an air of importance, instructing them to row to Whitehall Stairs. Once they arrived at the Palace safely, he asked to see Master Linklater, the under-clerk of the king's kitchen. The response was that he couldn’t be seen, as he was busy preparing a pot of cock-a-leekie for the king himself.

“Tell him,” said Moniplies, “that it is a dear countryman of his, who seeks to converse with him on matter of high import.”

"Tell him," said Moniplies, "that it's a dear countryman of his who wants to talk to him about something very important."

“A dear countryman?” said Linklater, when this pressing message was delivered to him. “Well, let him come in and be d—d, that I should say sae! This now is some red-headed, long-legged, gillie-white-foot frae the West Port, that, hearing of my promotion, is come up to be a turn-broche, or deputy scullion, through my interest. It is a great hinderance to any man who would rise in the world, to have such friends to hang by his skirts, in hope of being towed up along with him.—Ha! Richie Moniplies, man, is it thou? And what has brought ye here? If they should ken thee for the loon that scared the horse the other day!—”

“A dear countryman?” said Linklater when he got this urgent message. “Well, let him come in and be damned, that’s what I say! This must be some red-headed, long-legged, white-footed guy from the West Port who's heard about my promotion and come up hoping for a favor, like a deputy scullion or something. It’s a huge setback for anyone trying to get ahead to have friends like that clinging on, hoping to get lifted along with him.—Ha! Richie Moniplies, is that you? What brings you here? If they found out you were the one who scared the horse the other day!”

“No more o' that, neighbour,” said Richie,—“I am just here on the auld errand—I maun speak with the king.”

“No more of that, neighbor,” said Richie, “I’m just here on the old business—I need to talk to the king.”

“The king? Ye are red wud,” said Linklater; then shouted to his assistant in the kitchen, “Look to the broches, ye knaves—pisces purgaSalsamenta fac macerentur pulchre—I will make you understand Latin, ye knaves, as becomes the scullions of King James.” Then in a cautious tone, to Richie's private ear, he continued, “Know ye not how ill your master came off the other day?—I can tell you that job made some folk shake for their office.”

“The king? You’re crazy,” said Linklater; then shouted to his assistant in the kitchen, “Watch the roasting, you idiots—pisces purgaSalsamenta fac macerentur pulchre—I will teach you Latin, you fools, as befits the scullions of King James.” Then in a cautious tone, to Richie's private ear, he continued, “Don’t you realize how badly your master fared the other day?—I can tell you that situation made some people nervous about their jobs.”

“Weel, but, Laurie, ye maun befriend me this time, and get this wee bit sifflication slipped into his Majesty's ain most gracious hand. I promise you the contents will be most grateful to him.”

“Well, Laurie, you have to help me this time and get this little request slipped into the hands of His Majesty himself. I promise you the contents will be very appreciated by him.”

“Richie,” answered Linklater, “you have certainly sworn to say your prayers in the porter's lodge, with your back bare; and twa grooms, with dog-whips, to cry amen to you.”

“Richie,” Linklater replied, “you’ve definitely promised to say your prayers in the porter’s lodge, with your back bare; and two grooms, with dog-whips, to shout amen for you.”

“Na, na, Laurie, lad,” said Richie, “I ken better what belangs to sifflications than I did yon day; and ye will say that yoursell, if ye will but get that bit note to the king's hand.”

“Hey, hey, Laurie, buddy,” said Richie, “I know better what belongs to communications than I did back then; and you’ll agree with that yourself if you just get that little note to the king.”

“I will have neither hand nor foot in the matter,” said the cautious Clerk of the Kitchen; “but there is his Majesty's mess of cock-a-leekie just going to be served to him in his closet—I cannot prevent you from putting the letter between the gilt bowl and the platter; his sacred Majesty will see it when he lifts the bowl, for he aye drinks out the broth.”

“I won’t get involved in this,” said the careful Clerk of the Kitchen. “But the King’s soup of cock-a-leekie is about to be served to him in his chamber. I can’t stop you from placing the letter between the fancy bowl and the plate; His Majesty will see it when he lifts the bowl since he always drinks the broth.”

“Enough said,” replied Richie, and deposited the paper accordingly, just before a page entered to carry away the mess to his Majesty.

“Enough said,” replied Richie, and he put the paper down in the right place, just before a page came in to take away the mess to his Majesty.

“Aweel, aweel, neighbour,” said Laurence, when the mess was taken away, “if ye have done ony thing to bring yoursell to the withy, or the scourging post, it is your ain wilful deed.”

“Aye, aye, neighbor,” said Laurence, when the mess was cleared away, “if you’ve done anything to land yourself at the stocks or the whipping post, it’s your own foolish doing.”

“I will blame no other for it,” said Richie; and with that undismayed pertinacity of conceit, which made a fundamental part of his character, he abode the issue, which was not long of arriving.

“I won’t blame anyone else for it,” said Richie; and with that stubborn confidence in himself, which was a key part of his character, he waited for the outcome, which didn't take long to come.

In a few minutes Maxwell himself arrived in the apartment, and demanded hastily who had placed a writing on the king's trencher, Linklater denied all knowledge of it; but Richie Moniplies, stepping boldly forth, pronounced the emphatical confession, “I am the man.”

In a few minutes, Maxwell himself arrived in the apartment and quickly asked who had put a note on the king's plate. Linklater denied knowing anything about it, but Richie Moniplies, stepping forward with confidence, declared emphatically, “I am the man.”

“Follow me, then,” said Maxwell, after regarding him with a look of great curiosity.

“Follow me, then,” Maxwell said, looking at him with a lot of curiosity.

They went up a private staircase,—even that private staircase, the privilege of which at Court is accounted a nearer road to power than the grandes entrees themselves. Arriving in what Richie described as an “ill redd-up” ante-room, the usher made a sign to him to stop, while he went into the king's closet. Their conference was short, and as Maxwell opened the door to retire, Richie heard the conclusion of it.

They went up a private staircase—this private staircase, which is considered a quicker path to power at Court than the grandes entrees themselves. When they arrived in what Richie called an “ill-redded” anteroom, the usher signaled him to stop while he entered the king's private room. Their meeting was brief, and as Maxwell opened the door to leave, Richie caught the end of their conversation.

“Ye are sure he is not dangerous?—I was caught once.—Bide within call, but not nearer the door than within three geometrical cubits. If I speak loud, start to me like a falcon—If I speak loun, keep your lang lugs out of ear-shot—and now let him come in.”

“Are you sure he isn’t dangerous?—I got caught once.—Stay within calling distance, but not closer to the door than about three feet. If I speak loudly, react like a falcon—If I speak softly, keep your long ears out of earshot—and now let him come in.”

Richie passed forward at Maxwell's mute signal, and in a moment found himself in the presence of the king. Most men of Richie's birth and breeding, and many others, would have been abashed at finding themselves alone with their Sovereign. But Richie Moniplies had an opinion of himself too high to be controlled by any such ideas; and having made his stiff reverence, he arose once more into his perpendicular height, and stood before James as stiff as a hedge-stake.

Richie moved forward at Maxwell's silent signal and soon found himself face-to-face with the king. Most men of Richie's background and many others would have felt embarrassed to be alone with their sovereign. But Richie Moniplies had a self-image that was too inflated to be affected by such thoughts; after giving a rigid bow, he straightened up to his full height and stood before James as stiff as a post.

“Have ye gotten them, man? have ye gotten them?” said the king, in a fluttered state, betwixt hope and eagerness, and some touch of suspicious fear. “Gie me them—gie me them—before ye speak a word, I charge you, on your allegiance.”

“Have you got them, man? Have you got them?” said the king, in a flustered state, caught between hope and eagerness, with a hint of suspicious fear. “Give them to me—give them to me—before you say a word, I charge you, on your loyalty.”

Richie took a box from his bosom, and, stooping on one knee, presented it to his Majesty, who hastily opened it, and having ascertained that it contained a certain carcanet of rubies, with which the reader was formerly made acquainted, he could not resist falling into a sort of rapture, kissing the gems, as if they had been capable of feeling, and repeating again and again with childish delight, “Onyx cum prole, silexque—-Onyx cum prole! Ah, my bright and bonny sparklers, my heart loups light to see you again.” He then turned to Richie, upon whose stoical countenance his Majesty's demeanour had excited something like a grim smile, which James interrupted his rejoicing to reprehend, saying, “Take heed, sir, you are not to laugh at us—we are your anointed Sovereign.”

Richie took a box from his chest and, bending down on one knee, presented it to the King. The King quickly opened it, and after confirming that it held a certain necklace of rubies, which the reader is already aware of, he couldn't help but fall into a kind of rapture, kissing the gems as if they could feel and repeating with childlike joy, “Onyx cum prole, silexqueOnyx cum prole! Ah, my bright and beautiful sparklers, my heart jumps with joy to see you again.” He then turned to Richie, whose stoic face was cracked by a kind of grim smile caused by the King’s behavior. James interrupted his celebration to admonish him, saying, “Be careful, sir, you’re not supposed to laugh at us—we are your anointed Sovereign.”

“God forbid that I should laugh!” said Richie, composing his countenance into its natural rigidity. “I did but smile, to bring my visage into coincidence and conformity with your Majesty's physiognomy.”

“God forbid that I should laugh!” said Richie, making his face go back to its usual seriousness. “I just smiled to match your Majesty's expression.”

“Ye speak as a dutiful subject, and an honest man,” said the king; “but what deil's your name, man?”

“You're speaking like a loyal subject and a decent guy,” said the king; “but what the heck is your name, man?”

“Even Richie Moniplies, the son of auld Mungo Moniplies, at the West Port of Edinburgh, who had the honour to supply your Majesty's mother's royal table, as weel as your Majesty's, with flesh and other vivers, when time was.”

“Even Richie Moniplies, the son of old Mungo Moniplies, at the West Port of Edinburgh, who had the honor of supplying your Majesty's mother's royal table, as well as your Majesty's, with meat and other provisions, back in the day.”

“Aha!” said the king, laughing,—for he possessed, as a useful attribute of his situation, a tenacious memory, which recollected every one with whom he was brought into casual contact,—“Ye are the self-same traitor who had weelnigh coupit us endlang on the causey of our ain courtyard? but we stuck by our mare. Equam memento rebus in arduis servare. Weel, be not dismayed, Richie; for, as many men have turned traitors, it is but fair that a traitor, now and then, suld prove to be, contra expectanda, a true man. How cam ye by our jewels, man?—cam ye on the part of George Heriot?”

“Aha!” said the king, laughing—because he had a great memory that let him remember everyone he casually met—“You’re the same traitor who almost took us down right in our own courtyard, aren’t you? But we stood by our horse. Equam memento rebus in arduis servare. Well, don’t be discouraged, Richie; since many men have turned traitor, it's only fair that a traitor, every now and then, unexpectedly turns out to be a true man. How did you get our jewels, man?—are you here on behalf of George Heriot?”

“In no sort,” said Richie. “May it please your Majesty, I come as Harry Wynd fought, utterly for my own hand, and on no man's errand; as, indeed, I call no one master, save Him that made me, your most gracious Majesty who governs me, and the noble Nigel Olifaunt, Lord of Glenvarloch, who maintained me as lang as he could maintain himself, poor nobleman!”

“In no way,” said Richie. “If it pleases your Majesty, I come as Harry Wynd fought, completely for myself, and not on anyone else's mission; I acknowledge no master except for the one who created me, your most gracious Majesty who governs me, and the noble Nigel Olifaunt, Lord of Glenvarloch, who supported me for as long as he could support himself, poor nobleman!”

“Glenvarlochides again!” exclaimed the king; “by my honour, he lies in ambush for us at every corner!—Maxwell knocks at the door. It is George Heriot come to tell us he cannot find these jewels.—Get thee behind the arras, Richie—stand close, man—sneeze not—cough not—breathe not!—Jingling Geordie is so damnably ready with his gold-ends of wisdom, and sae accursedly backward with his gold-ends of siller, that, by our royal saul, we are glad to get a hair in his neck.”

“Glenvarlochides again!” the king exclaimed. “Honestly, he’s lying in wait for us at every turn!—Maxwell is at the door. It’s George Heriot here to tell us he can’t find these jewels.—Get behind the tapestry, Richie—stay close, man—don’t sneeze—don’t cough—don’t even breathe!—Jingling Geordie is so annoyingly full of his clever ideas, yet so painfully slow with his actual money, that, by our royal soul, we’re just glad to have a little leverage over him.”

Richie got behind the arras, in obedience to the commands of the good-natured king, while the Monarch, who never allowed his dignity to stand in the way of a frolic, having adjusted, with his own hand, the tapestry, so as to complete the ambush, commanded Maxwell to tell him what was the matter without. Maxwell's reply was so low as to be lost by Richie Moniplies, the peculiarity of whose situation by no means abated his curiosity and desire to gratify it to the uttermost.

Richie slipped behind the drapes, following the orders of the easy-going king, while the Monarch, who never let his status interfere with having fun, adjusted the tapestry himself to finish the surprise. He then instructed Maxwell to explain what was happening outside. Maxwell's response was so quiet that Richie Moniplies couldn't hear it, but the unusual nature of his situation only heightened his curiosity and eagerness to satisfy it completely.

“Let Geordie Heriot come in,” said the king; and, as Richie could observe through a slit in the tapestry, the honest citizen, if not actually agitated, was at least discomposed. The king, whose talent for wit, or humour, was precisely of a kind to be gratified by such a scene as ensued, received his homage with coldness, and began to talk to him with an air of serious dignity, very different from the usual indecorous levity of his behaviour. “Master Heriot,” he said, “if we aright remember, we opignorated in your hands certain jewels of the Crown, for a certain sum of money—Did we, or did we not?”

“Let Geordie Heriot come in,” said the king; and, as Richie could see through a slit in the tapestry, the honest citizen, while not exactly nervous, was definitely uneasy. The king, whose sense of humor was the kind that enjoyed the scene that followed, received Heriot's respect with a chilly demeanor and began to speak to him with a serious dignity, quite different from his usual casual attitude. “Master Heriot,” he said, “if we remember correctly, we entrusted certain jewels of the Crown to you for a certain sum of money—Did we, or didn’t we?”

“My most gracious Sovereign,” said Heriot, “indisputably your Majesty was pleased to do so.”

“My most gracious Sovereign,” said Heriot, “clearly your Majesty chose to do so.”

“The property of which jewels and cimelia remained with us,” continued the king, in the same solemn tone, “subject only to your claim of advance thereupon; which advance being repaid, gives us right to repossession of the thing opignorated, or pledged, or laid in wad. Voetius, Vinnius, Groenwigeneus, Pagenstecherus,—all who have treated de Contractu Opignerationis, consentiunt in eundem,—gree on the same point. The Roman law, the English common law, and the municipal law of our ain ancient kingdom of Scotland, though they split in mair particulars than I could desire, unite as strictly in this as the three strands of a twisted rope.”

“The property that includes the jewels and cimelia is still with us,” continued the king, in the same serious tone, “subject only to your claim for an advance on it; when that advance is repaid, we are entitled to reclaim the item that was pledged or laid in hock. Voetius, Vinnius, Groenwigeneus, Pagenstecherus—all who have discussed de Contractu Opignerationis, consentiunt in eundem—agree on this point. The Roman law, the English common law, and the municipal law of our own ancient kingdom of Scotland, although they differ in more details than I would wish, align closely in this matter like the three strands of a twisted rope.”

“May it please your Majesty,” replied Heriot, “it requires not so many learned authorities to prove to any honest man, that his interest in a pledge is determined when the money lent is restored.”

“May it please your Majesty,” replied Heriot, “it doesn’t take so many scholarly authorities to show any decent person that their stake in a pledge ends when the loaned money is repaid.”

“Weel, sir, I proffer restoration of the sum lent, and I demand to be repossessed of the jewels pledged with you. I gave ye a hint, brief while since, that this would be essential to my service, for, as approaching events are like to call us into public, it would seem strange if we did not appear with those ornaments, which are heirlooms of the Crown, and the absence whereof is like to place us in contempt and suspicion with our liege subjects.”

“Well, sir, I'm offering to pay back the amount I borrowed, and I want the jewels I pledged with you returned. I gave you a heads-up recently that this is important for my role, because with upcoming events likely putting us in the public eye, it would look odd if we didn’t show up wearing those ornaments, which are royal heirlooms. Not having them could lead to disrespect and suspicion from our loyal subjects.”

Master George Heriot seemed much moved by this address of his Sovereign, and replied with emotion, “I call Heaven to witness, that I am totally harmless in this matter, and that I would willingly lose the sum advanced, so that I could restore those jewels, the absence of which your Majesty so justly laments. Had the jewels remained with me, the account of them would be easily rendered; but your Majesty will do me the justice to remember, that, by your express order, I transferred them to another person, who advanced a large sum, just about the time of my departure for Paris. The money was pressingly wanted, and no other means to come by it occurred to me. I told your Majesty, when I brought the needful supply, that the man from whom the monies were obtained, was of no good repute; and your most princely answer was, smelling to the gold—Non olet, it smells not of the means that have gotten it.”

Master George Heriot seemed really affected by his Sovereign's words, and replied with deep emotion, “I swear to Heaven that I am completely innocent in this matter, and I would gladly forfeit the amount I advanced just to return those jewels, the absence of which Your Majesty rightfully mourns. If the jewels had stayed with me, it would have been easy to account for them; but I hope Your Majesty remembers that, at your command, I handed them over to someone else, who provided a significant amount just before I left for Paris. I urgently needed the money, and I couldn’t think of any other way to get it. I mentioned to Your Majesty when I provided the necessary funds that the person I got the money from had a bad reputation; and your royal response was, scenting the gold—Non olet, it doesn't smell of the means that acquired it.”

“Weel, man,” said the king, “but what needs a' this din? If ye gave my jewels in pledge to such a one, suld ye not, as a liege subject, have taken care that the redemption was in our power? And are we to suffer the loss of our cimelia by your neglect, besides being exposed to the scorn and censure of our lieges, and of the foreign ambassadors?”

“Well, man,” said the king, “but why all this noise? If you pledged my jewels to someone like that, shouldn’t you, as a loyal subject, have ensured that we could get them back? And are we supposed to suffer the loss of our cimelia because of your negligence, while also facing the ridicule and criticism of our subjects and the foreign ambassadors?”

“My lord and liege king,” said Heriot, “God knows, if my bearing blame or shame in this matter would keep it from your Majesty, it were my duty to endure both, as a servant grateful for many benefits; but when your Majesty considers the violent death of the man himself, the disappearance of his daughter, and of his wealth, I trust you will remember that I warned your Majesty, in humble duty, of the possibility of such casualties, and prayed you not to urge me to deal with him on your behalf.”

“My lord and king,” said Heriot, “God knows that if taking the blame or shame for this issue would keep it from you, it would be my duty to endure both, as a servant grateful for your many favors. However, when you consider the brutal death of the man, the disappearance of his daughter, and his wealth, I hope you will remember that I humbly warned you about the possibility of such events and asked you not to make me deal with him on your behalf.”

“But you brought me nae better means,” said the king—“Geordie, ye brought me nae better means. I was like a deserted man; what could I do but grip to the first siller that offered, as a drowning man grasps to the willow-wand that comes readiest?—And now, man, what for have ye not brought back the jewels? they are surely above ground, if ye wad make strict search.”

“But you didn’t provide me with any better options,” said the king. “Geordie, you didn’t provide me with any better options. I felt like a deserted man; what could I do but grasp at the first money that came my way, like a drowning man clinging to the nearest branch?—And now, man, why haven’t you brought back the jewels? They must be above ground if you would just look closely.”

“All strict search has been made, may it please your Majesty,” replied the citizen; “hue and cry has been sent out everywhere, and it has been found impossible to recover them.”

“Every thorough search has been conducted, if it pleases your Majesty,” replied the citizen; “a call for help has been sent out everywhere, and it has been impossible to find them.”

“Difficult, ye mean, Geordie, not impossible,” replied the king; “for that whilk is impossible, is either naturally so, exempli gratia, to make two into three; or morally so, as to make what is truth falsehood; but what is only difficult may come to pass, with assistance of wisdom and patience; as, for example, Jingling Geordie, look here!” And he displayed the recovered treasure to the eyes of the astonished jeweller, exclaiming, with great triumph, “What say ye to that, Jingler?—By my sceptre and crown, the man stares as if he took his native prince for a warlock! us that are the very malleus maleficarum, the contunding and contriturating hammer of all witches, sorcerers, magicians, and the like; he thinks we are taking a touch of the black art outsells!—But gang thy way, honest Geordie; thou art a good plain man, but nane of the seven sages of Greece; gang thy way, and mind the soothfast word which you spoke, small time syne, that there is one in this land that comes near to Solomon, King of Israel, in all his gifts, except in his love to strange women, forby the daughter of Pharaoh.”

“Difficult, you mean, Geordie, not impossible,” replied the king; “because what is impossible is either naturally so, for example, to make two into three; or morally so, like making truth into falsehood; but what is only difficult can be achieved with wisdom and patience; for instance, Jingling Geordie, look here!” And he revealed the recovered treasure to the astonished jeweller, exclaiming with great triumph, “What do you think of that, Jingler?—By my scepter and crown, the man looks as if he thinks his native prince is a warlock! We, who are the very hammer of all witches, sorcerers, magicians, and the like; he thinks we are practicing some dark magic!—But go on your way, honest Geordie; you are a good straightforward man, but none of the seven sages of Greece; go on your way, and remember the true words you spoke not long ago, that there is one in this land who comes close to Solomon, King of Israel, in all his gifts, except in his love for foreign women, aside from the daughter of Pharaoh.”

If Heriot was surprised at seeing the jewels so unexpectedly produced at the moment the king was upbraiding him for the loss of them, this allusion to the reflection which had escaped him while conversing with Lord Glenvarloch, altogether completed his astonishment; and the king was so delighted with the superiority which it gave him at the moment, that he rubbed his hands, chuckled, and finally, his sense of dignity giving way to the full feeling of triumph, he threw himself into his easy-chair, and laughed with unconstrained violence till he lost his breath, and the tears ran plentifully down his cheeks as he strove to recover it. Meanwhile, the royal cachinnation was echoed out by a discordant and portentous laugh from behind the arras, like that of one who, little accustomed to give way to such emotions, feels himself at some particular impulse unable either to control or to modify his obstreperous mirth. Heriot turned his head with new surprise towards the place, from which sounds so unfitting the presence of a monarch seemed to burst with such emphatic clamour.

If Heriot was shocked to see the jewels suddenly presented just when the king was scolding him for their loss, the reference to his earlier conversation with Lord Glenvarloch only added to his astonishment. The king was so pleased with the advantage this gave him in the moment that he rubbed his hands, chuckled, and eventually, letting go of his dignity in a burst of triumph, sank into his easy chair, laughing uncontrollably until he was breathless, with tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to catch his breath. Meanwhile, his loud laughter was echoed by a jarring and ominous laugh from behind the tapestry, sounding like someone unaccustomed to such emotions who suddenly finds themselves unable to restrain their raucous amusement. Heriot turned his head, newly surprised, toward the source of such inappropriate sounds in the presence of a king.

The king, too, somewhat sensible of the indecorum, rose up, wiped his eyes, and calling,—“Todlowrie, come out o' your den,” he produced from behind the arras the length of Richie Moniplies, still laughing with as unrestrained mirth as ever did gossip at a country christening. “Whisht, man, whisht, man,” said the king; “ye needna nicher that gait, like a cusser at a caup o' corn, e'en though it was a pleasing jest, and our ain framing. And yet to see Jingling Geordie, that bauds himself so much the wiser than other folk—to see him, ha! ha! ha!—in the vein of Euclio apud Plautum, distressing himself to recover what was lying at his elbow—'Peril, interii, occidi—quo curram? quo non curram?—Tene, tene—quem? quis? nescio—nihil video.”

The king, feeling a bit embarrassed by the scene, stood up, wiped his eyes, and called out, “Todlowrie, come out from your hiding place.” He revealed Richie Moniplies, still laughing as loudly as a gossip at a country christening. “Hush, man, hush,” the king said. “You don’t need to snicker like that, like a pig at a trough, even though it was a funny joke, made by us. And yet to see Jingling Geordie, who prides himself on being so much wiser than everyone else—to see him, ha! ha! ha!—acting like Euclio from Plautus, getting all worked up trying to find what was right next to him—'Oh no, I’m doomed, I’m dead—where should I run? Where shouldn’t I run?—Hold on, hold on—what? Who? I don’t know—I see nothing.”

“Ah! Geordie, your een are sharp enough to look after gowd and silver, gems, rubies, and the like of that, and yet ye kenna how to come by them when they are lost.—Ay, ay—look at them, man—look at them—they are a' right and tight, sound and round, not a doublet crept in amongst them.”

“Ah! Geordie, your eyes are sharp enough to keep an eye on gold and silver, gems, rubies, and things like that, and yet you don’t know how to get them back when they’re lost.—Yeah, yeah—look at them, man—look at them—they're all good and perfect, sound and round, not a fake one mixed in among them.”

George Heriot, when his first surprise was over, was too old a courtier to interrupt the king's imaginary triumph, although he darted a look of some displeasure at honest Richie, who still continued on what is usually termed the broad grin. He quietly examined the stones, and finding them all perfect, he honestly and sincerely congratulated his Majesty on the recovery of a treasure which could not have been lost without some dishonour to the crown; and asked to whom he himself was to pay the sums for which they had been pledged, observing, that he had the money by him in readiness.

George Heriot, once he got over his initial shock, was too seasoned a courtier to disrupt the king's imaginary celebration, though he shot a disapproving glance at honest Richie, who was still wearing what’s typically called a broad grin. He quietly inspected the jewels and, finding them all flawless, genuinely congratulated His Majesty on recovering a treasure that couldn't have been lost without bringing some disgrace to the crown. He inquired about whom he needed to pay the amounts for which they had been pledged, noting that he had the money ready.

“Ye are in a deevil of a hurry, when there is paying in the case, Geordie,” said the king.—“What's a' the haste, man? The jewels were restored by an honest, kindly countryman of ours. There he stands, and wha kens if he wants the money on the nail, or if he might not be as weel pleased wi' a bit rescript on our treasury some six months hence? Ye ken that our Exchequer is even at a low ebb just now, and ye cry pay, pay, pay, as if we had all the mines of Ophir.”

“You're in a huge hurry when it comes to paying, Geordie,” said the king. “What’s all the rush about, man? The jewels were given back by a good, honest local guy. There he is, and who knows if he needs the money right away, or if he’d be just as happy with a note from our treasury six months down the road? As you know, our Exchequer is pretty low at the moment, and you're demanding pay, pay, pay, as if we had all the riches of Ophir.”

“Please your Majesty,” said Heriot, “if this man has the real right to these monies, it is doubtless at his will to grant forbearance, if he will. But when I remember the guise in which I first saw him, with a tattered cloak and a broken head, I can hardly conceive it.—Are not you Richie Moniplies, with the king's favour?”

“Please, Your Majesty,” said Heriot, “if this man truly has the right to this money, it's certainly up to him to decide whether to grant leniency. But when I think back to how I first saw him, in a ragged cloak with a bleeding head, it's hard for me to believe. Aren't you Richie Moniplies, favored by the king?”

“Even sae, Master Heriot—of the ancient and honourable house of Castle Collop, near to the West Port of Edinburgh,” answered Richie.

“Even so, Master Heriot—of the ancient and honorable house of Castle Collop, close to the West Port of Edinburgh,” replied Richie.

“Why, please your Majesty, he is a poor serving-man,” said Heriot. “This money can never be honestly at his disposal.”

“Please, Your Majesty, he's just a poor servant,” Heriot said. “He can never honestly have this money at his disposal.”

“What for no?” said the king. “Wad ye have naebody spraickle up the brae but yoursell, Geordie? Your ain cloak was thin enough when ye cam here, though ye have lined it gay and weel. And for serving-men, there has mony a red-shank cam over the Tweed wi' his master's wallet on his shoulders, that now rustles it wi' his six followers behind him. There stands the man himsell; speer at him, Geordie.”

“What for not?” said the king. “Do you want nobody else to talk up the hill but you, Geordie? Your own cloak was pretty thin when you got here, even though you've lined it nicely. And as for servants, many a red-shank has crossed the Tweed with his master's wallet on his shoulders, and now he strolls around with six followers behind him. There’s the man himself; ask him, Geordie.”

“His may not be the best authority in the case,” answered the cautious citizen.

“His might not be the best authority on this matter,” replied the careful citizen.

“Tut, tut, man,” said the king, “ye are over scrupulous. The knave deer-stealers have an apt phrase, Non est inquirendum unde venit VENISON. He that brings the gudes hath surely a right to dispose of the gear.—Hark ye, friend, speak the truth and shame the deil. Have ye plenary powers to dispose on the redemption-money as to delay of payments, or the like, ay or no?”

“Come on, man,” said the king, “you're being too careful. The crafty deer poachers have a fitting phrase, Non est inquirendum unde venit VENISON. Whoever brings the goods definitely has the right to manage the resources. —Listen, friend, tell the truth and shame the devil. Do you have full authority to handle the redemption money regarding payment delays or anything similar, yes or no?”

“Full power, an it like your gracious Majesty,” answered Richie Moniplies; “and I am maist willing to subscrive to whatsoever may in ony wise accommodate your Majesty anent the redemption-money, trusting your Majesty's grace will be kind to me in one sma' favour.”

“Full power, if it pleases your gracious Majesty,” replied Richie Moniplies; “and I am more than willing to agree to whatever might assist your Majesty regarding the redemption money, hoping your Majesty's kindness will grant me one small favor.”

“Ey, man,” said the king, “come ye to me there? I thought ye wad e'en be like the rest of them.—One would think our subjects' lives and goods were all our ain, and holden of us at our free will; but when we stand in need of ony matter of siller from them, which chances more frequently than we would it did, deil a boddle is to be had, save on the auld terms of giff-gaff. It is just niffer for niffer.—Aweel, neighbour, what is it that ye want—some monopoly, I reckon? Or it may be a grant of kirk-lands and teinds, or a knighthood, or the like? Ye maun be reasonable, unless ye propose to advance more money for our present occasions.”

“Hey, man,” said the king, “are you coming to me? I thought you’d be just like the rest of them. One would think our subjects' lives and property were entirely ours and under our control, but when we need any money from them, which happens more often than we’d like, we can’t get a single penny unless it's the usual back-and-forth. It’s just trade for trade. Well, neighbor, what is it that you want—some kind of monopoly, I guess? Or maybe a grant of church lands and tithes, or a knighthood, or something like that? You need to be reasonable, unless you plan to advance more money for our current needs.”

“My liege,” answered Richie Moniplies, “the owner of these monies places them at your Majesty's command, free of all pledge or usage as long as it is your royal pleasure, providing your Majesty will condescend to show some favour to the noble Lord Glenvarloch, presently prisoner in your royal Tower of London.”

“My lord,” replied Richie Moniplies, “the owner of this money puts it at your command, without any obligation or conditions, as long as it pleases you, on the condition that you show some favor to the noble Lord Glenvarloch, who is currently imprisoned in your Tower of London.”

“How, man—how,—man—how, man!” exclaimed the king, reddening and stammering, but with emotions more noble than those by which he was sometimes agitated—“What is that you dare to say to us?—Sell our justice!—sell our mercy!—and we a crowned king, sworn to do justice to our subjects in the gate, and responsible for our stewardship to Him that is over all kings?”—Here he reverently looked up, touched his bonnet, and continued, with some sharpness,—“We dare not traffic in such commodities, sir; and, but that ye are a poor ignorant creature, that have done us this day some not unpleasant service, we wad have a red iron driven through your tongue, in terrorem of others.—Awa with him, Geordie,—pay him, plack and bawbee, out of our monies in your hands, and let them care that come ahint.”

“How, man—how,—man—how, man!” the king exclaimed, reddening and stammering, but feeling more noble emotions than the ones that sometimes stirred him. “What do you dare to say to us?—Sell our justice!—sell our mercy!—and we, a crowned king, sworn to administer justice to our subjects, responsible for our stewardship to Him who reigns over all kings?” He lifted his gaze reverently, touched his hat, and continued with some sharpness, “We cannot trade in such things, sir; and if you weren't a poor, ignorant fool who has done us a somewhat pleasant service today, we would have a hot iron run through your tongue, in terrorem of others. Get him out of here, Geordie—give him his pay, a plack and bawbee, from our funds in your hands, and let them take care of those who come after.”

Richie, who had counted with the utmost certainty upon the success of this master-stroke of policy, was like an architect whose whole scaffolding at once gives way under him. He caught, however, at what he thought might break his fall. “Not only the sum for which the jewels were pledged,” he said, “but the double of it, if required, should be placed at his Majesty's command, and even without hope or condition of repayment, if only—”

Richie, who was completely sure about the success of this clever strategy, was like an architect whose entire scaffolding suddenly collapses beneath him. He managed to grab onto what he thought could save him. “Not only the amount for which the jewels were pledged,” he said, “but double that amount, if needed, should be at his Majesty's disposal, even without any expectation or condition of repayment, as long as—”

But the king did not allow him to complete the sentence, crying out with greater vehemence than before, as if he dreaded the stability of his own good resolutions,—“Awa wi' him—swith awa wi' him! It is time he were gane, if he doubles his bode that gate. And, for your life, letna Steenie, or ony of them, hear a word from his mouth; for wha kens what trouble that might bring me into! Ne inducas in tentationemVade retro, Sathanas!—Amen.”

But the king wouldn't let him finish, shouting even louder than before, as if he feared his own resolve would waver, “Get him out of here—send him away! It's time he left if he's going to act that way. And for your sake, don’t let Steenie or any of them hear a word from him; who knows what trouble that could cause me! Lead us not into temptationGet back, Satan!—Amen.”

In obedience to the royal mandate, George Heriot hurried the abashed petitioner out of the presence and out of the Palace; and, when they were in the Palace-yard, the citizen, remembering with some resentment the airs of equality which Richie had assumed towards him in the commencement of the scene which had just taken place, could not forbear to retaliate, by congratulating him with an ironical smile on his favour at Court, and his improved grace in presenting a supplication.

In compliance with the royal order, George Heriot quickly ushered the embarrassed petitioner out of the royal presence and out of the Palace. Once they were in the Palace yard, the citizen, recalling with some annoyance the false sense of equality Richie had shown him at the start of the earlier encounter, couldn’t help but respond by congratulating him with a sarcastic smile on his favor at Court and his newfound elegance in making a request.

“Never fash your beard about that, Master George Heriot,” said Richie, totally undismayed; “but tell me when and where I am to sifflicate you for eight hundred pounds sterling, for which these jewels stood engaged?”

“Don’t worry about that, Master George Heriot,” said Richie, completely unfazed; “just tell me when and where I’m supposed to pay you the eight hundred pounds sterling that these jewels are worth?”

“The instant that you bring with you the real owner of the money,” replied Heriot; “whom it is important that I should see on more accounts than one.”

“The moment you bring the actual owner of the money,” Heriot replied, “it's important for me to see them for more than one reason.”

“Then will I back to his Majesty,” said Richie Moniplies, stoutly, “and get either the money or the pledge back again. I am fully commissionate to act in that matter.”

“Then I'll go back to His Majesty,” said Richie Moniplies confidently, “and get either the money or the pledge back. I have full authority to handle this.”

“It may be so, Richie,” said the citizen, “and perchance it may not be so neither, for your tales are not all gospel; and, therefore, be assured I will see that it is so, ere I pay you that large sum of money. I shall give you an acknowledgment for it, and I will keep it prestable at a moment's warning. But, my good Richard Moniplies, of Castle Collop, near the West Port of Edinburgh, in the meantime I am bound to return to his Majesty on matters of weight.” So speaking, and mounting the stair to re-enter the Palace, he added, by way of summing up the whole,—“George Heriot is over old a cock to be caught with chaff.”

“It might be true, Richie,” said the citizen, “and maybe it isn’t true either, because your stories aren’t all reliable; so, you can be sure I’ll verify it before I hand over that large amount of money. I’ll give you a receipt for it, and I’ll be ready to settle it in no time. But, my good Richard Moniplies, of Castle Collop, near the West Port of Edinburgh, for now I need to return to the King about some important matters.” With that, and as he climbed the stairs to go back into the Palace, he concluded with, “George Heriot is too wise to be fooled easily.”

Richie stood petrified when he beheld him re-enter the Palace, and found himself, as he supposed, left in the lurch.—“Now, plague on ye,” he muttered, “for a cunning auld skinflint! that, because ye are an honest man yoursell, forsooth, must needs deal with all the world as if they were knaves. But deil be in me if ye beat me yet!—Gude guide us! yonder comes Laurie Linklater next, and he will be on me about the sifflication.—I winna stand him, by Saint Andrew!”

Richie stood frozen when he saw him come back into the Palace, feeling abandoned. “Now, damn you,” he muttered, “you clever old miser! Just because you’re an honest man, you think you can treat everyone like they’re dishonest. But I swear, you won’t outsmart me!—Good grief! Here comes Laurie Linklater next, and he’ll be pestering me about the situation.—I won’t put up with him, by Saint Andrew!”

So saying, and changing the haughty stride with which he had that morning entered the precincts of the Palace, into a skulking shamble, he retreated for his wherry, which was in attendance, with speed which, to use the approved phrase on such occasions, greatly resembled a flight.

So saying, and changing the proud way he had strutted into the Palace that morning into a guilty shuffle, he quickly retreated to his boat, which was waiting, with a speed that, to use the usual phrase in such situations, looked a lot like a run for his life.










CHAPTER XXXII

Benedict. This looks not like a nuptial. Much Ado About Nothing.

Benedict. This doesn't seem like a wedding. Much Ado About Nothing.

Master George Heriot had no sooner returned to the king's apartment, than James inquired of Maxwell if the Earl of Huntinglen was in attendance, and, receiving an answer in the affirmative, desired that he should be admitted. The old Scottish Lord having made his reverence in the usual manner, the king extended his hand to be kissed, and then began to address him in a tone of great sympathy.

Master George Heriot had barely returned to the king's room when James asked Maxwell if the Earl of Huntinglen was present. After getting a yes, he requested that the earl be allowed in. The elderly Scottish lord bowed as was customary, and the king extended his hand to be kissed before speaking to him with a tone full of sympathy.

“We told your lordship in our secret epistle of this morning, written with our ain hand, in testimony we have neither pretermitted nor forgotten your faithful service, that we had that to communicate to you that would require both patience and fortitude to endure, and therefore exhorted you to peruse some of the most pithy passages of Seneca, and of Boethius de Consolatione, that the back may be, as we say, fitted for the burden—This we commend to you from our ain experience.

“We told you in our private letter this morning, written by our own hand, to show that we haven't overlooked your loyal service. We had something to share that would require both patience and strength to handle, so we encouraged you to read some of the most impactful sections of Seneca and Boethius's de Consolatione, so that you can be prepared for the challenge ahead. We offer this advice based on our own experience.

     'Non ignara mail, miseris succurrere disco,'
'Not unaware of the troubles, I learn to help the unfortunate,'

sayeth Dido, and I might say in my own person, non ignarus; but to change the gender would affect the prosody, whereof our southern subjects are tenacious. So, my Lord of Huntinglen, I trust you have acted by our advice, and studied patience before ye need it—venienti occurrite morbo—mix the medicament when the disease is coming on.”

says Dido, and I might say for myself, non ignarus; but changing the gender would mess with the rhythm, which our southern subjects are very particular about. So, my Lord of Huntinglen, I hope you’ve followed our advice and practiced patience before you need it—venienti occurrite morbo—prepare the medicine when the illness is approaching.”

“May it please your Majesty,” answered Lord Huntinglen, “I am more of an old soldier than a scholar—and if my own rough nature will not bear me out in any calamity, I hope I shall have grace to try a text of Scripture to boot.”

“Please, Your Majesty,” replied Lord Huntinglen, “I’m more of an old soldier than a scholar—and if my rough nature doesn’t help me through any trouble, I hope I’ll have the grace to turn to a Scripture verse as well.”

“Ay, man, are you there with your bears?” said the king; “The Bible, man,” (touching his cap,) “is indeed principium et fons—but it is pity your lordship cannot peruse it in the original. For although we did ourselves promote that work of translation,—since ye may read, at the beginning of every Bible, that when some palpable clouds of darkness were thought like to have overshadowed the land, after the setting of that bright occidental star, Queen Elizabeth; yet our appearance, like that of the sun in his strength, instantly dispelled these surmised mists,—I say, that although, as therein mentioned, we countenanced the preaching of the gospel, and especially the translation of the Scriptures out of the original sacred tongues; yet nevertheless, we ourselves confess to have found a comfort in consulting them in the original Hebrew, whilk we do not perceive even in the Latin version of the Septuagint, much less in the English traduction.”

“Hey, man, are you there with your bears?” said the king; “The Bible, man,” (touching his cap,) “is indeed the beginning and the source—but it’s a shame your lordship can’t read it in the original. For even though we ourselves supported that translation work,—since you can read at the beginning of every Bible that when some obvious clouds of darkness seemed likely to overshadow the land, after the setting of that bright western star, Queen Elizabeth; our emergence, like that of the sun in his strength, quickly cleared those imagined mists,—I say, that although, as mentioned there, we endorsed the preaching of the gospel, and especially the translation of the Scriptures from the original sacred languages; we still admit to finding comfort in reading them in the original Hebrew, which we don’t experience even in the Latin version of the Septuagint, much less in the English translation.”

“Please your Majesty,” said Lord Huntinglen, “if your Majesty delays communicating the bad news with which your honoured letter threatens me, until I am capable to read Hebrew like your Majesty, I fear I shall die in ignorance of the misfortune which hath befallen, or is about to befall, my house.”

“Your Majesty,” Lord Huntinglen said, “if you keep delaying telling me the bad news that your esteemed letter warns me about, until I can read Hebrew like you, I’m afraid I’ll die not knowing what misfortune has happened or is about to happen to my family.”

“You will learn it but too soon, my lord,” replied the king. “I grieve to say it, but your son Dalgarno, whom I thought a very saint, as he was so much with Steenie and Baby Charles, hath turned out a very villain.”

“You’ll find out sooner than you think, my lord,” replied the king. “I regret to say it, but your son Dalgarno, whom I considered a true saint because he spent so much time with Steenie and Baby Charles, has turned out to be quite the villain.”

“Villain!” repeated Lord Huntinglen; and though he instantly checked himself, and added, “but it is your Majesty speaks the word,” the effect of his first tone made the king step back as if he had received a blow. He also recovered himself again, and said in the pettish way which usually indicated his displeasure—“Yes, my lord, it was we that said it—non surdo canis—we are not deaf—we pray you not to raise your voice in speech with us—there is the bonny memorial—read, and judge for yourself.”

“Villain!” echoed Lord Huntinglen; and although he quickly caught himself and added, “but it is your Majesty who says that,” the force of his initial tone made the king step back as if he had been struck. The king quickly regained his composure and responded in the petulant tone that usually indicated his irritation—“Yes, my lord, we said it—non surdo canis—we are not deaf—we ask you not to raise your voice when speaking to us—there is the fine memorial—read it and decide for yourself.”

The king then thrust into the old nobleman's hand a paper, containing the story of the Lady Hermione, with the evidence by which it was supported, detailed so briefly and clearly, that the infamy of Lord Dalgarno, the lover by whom she had been so shamefully deceived, seemed undeniable. But a father yields not up so easily the cause of his son.

The king then handed the old nobleman a piece of paper that contained the story of Lady Hermione, along with the evidence that backed it up, explained so briefly and clearly that Lord Dalgarno's disgrace, the man who had so cruelly deceived her, appeared undeniable. But a father doesn’t easily give up the cause of his son.

“May it please your Majesty,” he said, “why was this tale not sooner told? This woman hath been here for years—wherefore was the claim on my son not made the instant she touched English ground?”

“Your Majesty,” he said, “why wasn’t this story told sooner? This woman has been here for years—why wasn’t the claim on my son made the moment she arrived in England?”

“Tell him how that came about, Geordie,” said the king, dressing Heriot.

“Tell him how that happened, Geordie,” said the king, dressing Heriot.

“I grieve to distress my Lord Huntinglen,” said Heriot; “but I must speak the truth. For a long time the Lady Hermione could not brook the idea of making her situation public; and when her mind became changed in that particular, it was necessary to recover the evidence of the false marriage, and letters and papers connected with it, which, when she came to Paris, and just before I saw her, she had deposited with a correspondent of her father in that city. He became afterwards bankrupt, and in consequence of that misfortune the lady's papers passed into other hands, and it was only a few days since I traced and recovered them. Without these documents of evidence, it would have been imprudent for her to have preferred her complaint, favoured as Lord Dalgarno is by powerful friends.”

“I regret to upset Lord Huntinglen,” said Heriot; “but I have to tell the truth. For a long time, Lady Hermione couldn’t bear the thought of making her situation public; and when she finally changed her mind about that, she needed to retrieve the evidence of the false marriage, along with letters and documents related to it, which she had left with a contact of her father in Paris just before I saw her. That contact later went bankrupt, and because of that misfortune, the lady's papers fell into other hands. I only recently managed to trace and recover them. Without these documents as evidence, it would have been unwise for her to file her complaint, especially with Lord Dalgarno having powerful friends backing him.”

“Ye are saucy to say sae,” said the king; “I ken what ye mean weel eneugh—ye think Steenie wad hae putten the weight of his foot into the scales of justice, and garr'd them whomle the bucket—ye forget, Geordie, wha it is whose hand uphaulds them. And ye do poor Steenie the mair wrang, for he confessed it ance before us and our privy council, that Dalgarno would have put the quean aff on him, the puir simple bairn, making him trow that she was a light-o'-love; in whilk mind he remained assured even when he parted from her, albeit Steenie might hae weel thought ane of thae cattle wadna hae resisted the like of him.”

“It's rude of you to say that,” said the king; “I know exactly what you mean—you think Steenie would have tipped the scales of justice and made them tilt the bucket—forget, Geordie, whose hand actually holds them up. And you do poor Steenie even more wrong, because he once admitted in front of us and our privy council that Dalgarno tried to convince him that the queen was unworthy, poor innocent child that he is, making him believe she was loose; which belief he held on to even when he parted from her, although Steenie might have thought that one of those guys wouldn’t have been able to resist him.”

“The Lady Hermione,” said George Heriot, “has always done the utmost justice to the conduct of the duke, who, although strongly possessed with prejudice against her character, yet scorned to avail himself of her distress, and on the contrary supplied her with the means of extricating herself from her difficulties.”

“The Lady Hermione,” said George Heriot, “has always given full credit to the duke’s actions, who, despite having a strong bias against her character, refused to take advantage of her struggles and instead provided her with the resources to help her out of her troubles.”

“It was e'en like himsell—blessings on his bonny face!” said the king; “and I believed this lady's tale the mair readily, my Lord Huntinglen, that she spake nae ill of Steenie—and to make a lang tale short, my lord, it is the opinion of our council and ourself, as weel as of Baby Charles and Steenie, that your son maun amend his wrong by wedding this lady, or undergo such disgrace and discountenance as we can bestow.”

“It was just like him—blessings on his handsome face!” said the king; “and I believed this lady's story all the more, my Lord Huntinglen, because she didn't speak ill of Steenie—and to cut a long story short, my lord, it is the opinion of our council and myself, as well as Baby Charles and Steenie, that your son must right his wrong by marrying this lady, or face such disgrace and disapproval as we can impose.”

The person to whom he spoke was incapable of answering him. He stood before the king motionless, and glaring with eyes of which even the lids seemed immovable, as if suddenly converted into an ancient statue of the times of chivalry, so instantly had his hard features and strong limbs been arrested into rigidity by the blow he had received—And in a second afterwards, like the same statue when the lightning breaks upon it, he sunk at once to the ground with a heavy groan. The king was in the utmost alarm, called upon Heriot and Maxwell for help, and, presence of mind not being his forte, ran to and fro in his cabinet, exclaiming—“My ancient and beloved servant—who saved our anointed self! vae atque dolor! My Lord of Huntinglen, look up—look up, man, and your son may marry the Queen of Sheba if he will.”

The person he spoke to was unable to respond. He stood before the king motionless, glaring with eyes that seemed frozen, like an ancient statue from the days of chivalry, as his hard features and strong limbs had instantly become rigid from the blow he had received. Then, just like a statue struck by lightning, he collapsed to the ground with a heavy groan. The king, in a state of panic, called for Heriot and Maxwell to help and, lacking composure, rushed back and forth in his study, exclaiming, “My dear and loyal servant—who saved us! Woe and pain! My Lord of Huntinglen, look up—look up, man, and your son can marry the Queen of Sheba if he wishes.”

By this time Maxwell and Heriot had raised the old nobleman, and placed him on a chair; while the king, observing that he began to recover himself, continued his consolations more methodically.

By this time, Maxwell and Heriot had helped the old nobleman up and sat him in a chair, while the king, noticing that he was starting to regain his composure, offered his comfort in a more organized manner.

“Haud up your head—haud up your head, and listen to your ain kind native Prince. If there is shame, man, it comesna empty-handed—there is siller to gild it—a gude tocher, and no that bad a pedigree;—if she has been a loon, it was your son made her sae, and he can make her an honest woman again.”

“Hold your head up—hold your head up, and listen to your own kind native Prince. If there’s shame, man, it doesn’t come empty-handed—there’s money to make it better—a good dowry, and not a bad family background;—if she’s been a bad girl, it was your son who made her that way, and he can make her an honest woman again.”

These suggestions, however reasonable in the common case, gave no comfort to Lord Huntinglen, if indeed he fully comprehended them; but the blubbering of his good-natured old master, which began to accompany and interrupt his royal speech, produced more rapid effect. The large tear gushed reluctantly from his eye, as he kissed the withered hands, which the king, weeping with less dignity and restraint, abandoned to him, first alternately and then both together, until the feelings of the man getting entirely the better of the Sovereign's sense of dignity, he grasped and shook Lord Huntinglen's hands with the sympathy of an equal and a familiar friend.

These suggestions, while reasonable in most cases, offered no comfort to Lord Huntinglen, if he even understood them. But the sobbing of his kind old master, which started to join in and interrupt his royal speech, had a quicker effect. A large tear reluctantly flowed from his eye as he kissed the frail hands that the king, crying with less dignity and restraint, gave to him, first one and then the other, until the man's feelings completely overwhelmed the Sovereign's sense of dignity. He took and shook Lord Huntinglen's hands with the empathy of an equal and a close friend.

Compone lachrymas,” said the Monarch; “be patient, man, be patient; the council, and Baby Charles, and Steenie, may a' gang to the deevil—he shall not marry her since it moves you so deeply.”

Compone lachrymas,” said the Monarch; “be patient, man, be patient; the council, and Baby Charles, and Steenie, can all go to hell—he won’t marry her if it affects you so much.”

“He shall marry her, by God!” answered the earl, drawing himself up, dashing the tear from his eyes, and endeavouring to recover his composure. “I pray your Majesty's pardon, but he shall marry her, with her dishonour for her dowry, were she the veriest courtezan in all Spain—If he gave his word, he shall make his word good, were it to the meanest creature that haunts the streets—he shall do it, or my own dagger shall take the life that I gave him. If he could stoop to use so base a fraud, though to deceive infamy, let him wed infamy.”

“He will marry her, I swear!” replied the earl, straightening up, wiping a tear from his eye, and trying to regain his composure. “I ask for your Majesty's forgiveness, but he will marry her, even with her disgrace as her dowry, even if she were the lowest prostitute in all of Spain—If he gave his word, he must honor it, even if it's to the most wretched person on the streets—he will do it, or my own dagger will take the life I gave him. If he can resort to such a despicable trick, even to trick disgrace, let him marry disgrace.”

“No, no!” the Monarch continued to insinuate, “things are not so bad as that—Steenie himself never thought of her being a streetwalker, even when he thought the worst of her.”

“No, no!” the Monarch kept implying, “it's not that bad—Steenie himself never considered her to be a streetwalker, even when he thought the worst of her.”

“If it can at all console my Lord of Huntinglen,” said the citizen, “I can assure him of this lady's good birth, and most fair and unspotted fame.”

“If it can at all comfort my Lord of Huntinglen,” said the citizen, “I can assure him of this lady's noble lineage and her very good and untarnished reputation.”

“I am sorry for it,” said Lord Huntinglen—then interrupting himself, he said—“Heaven forgive me for being ungrateful for such comfort!—but I am well-nigh sorry she should be as you represent her, so much better than the villain deserves. To be condemned to wed beauty and innocence and honest birth—”

“I’m sorry for that,” said Lord Huntinglen—then interrupting himself, he continued—“Heaven forgive me for being ungrateful for such comfort!—but I can hardly believe she’s as wonderful as you say, so much better than the villain deserves. To be forced to marry beauty and innocence and a good family—”

“Ay, and wealth, my lord—wealth,” insinuated the king, “is a better sentence than his perfidy has deserved.”

“Ay, and wealth, my lord—wealth,” suggested the king, “is a nicer reward than his treachery deserves.”

“It is long,” said the embittered father, “since I saw he was selfish and hardhearted; but to be a perjured liar—I never dreaded that such a blot would have fallen on my race! I will never look on him again.”

“It’s been a while,” said the bitter father, “since I noticed he was selfish and coldhearted; but to be a deceitful liar—I never imagined such a stain would have tarnished my family! I will never look at him again.”

“Hoot ay, my lord, hoot ay,” said the king; “ye maun tak him to task roundly. I grant you should speak more in the vein of Demea than Mitio, vi nempe et via pervulgata patrum; but as for not seeing him again, and he your only son, that is altogether out of reason. I tell ye, man, (but I would not for a boddle that Baby Charles heard me,) that he might gie the glaiks to half the lasses of Lonnun, ere I could find in my heart speak such harsh words as you have said of this deil of a Dalgarno of yours.”

“Hoot, my lord, hoot,” said the king; “you must take him to task firmly. I agree you should speak more like Demea than Mitio, vi nempe et via pervulgata patrum; but as for saying you won't see him again, and he’s your only son, that’s just unreasonable. I tell you, man, (but I wouldn’t want Baby Charles to hear me say this,) that he could charm half the girls in London before I could bring myself to say the harsh words you’ve used about this devil of a Dalgarno of yours.”

“May it please your Majesty to permit me to retire,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and dispose of the case according to your own royal sense of justice, for I desire no favour for him.”

“May it please your Majesty to allow me to step back,” said Lord Huntinglen, “and handle the case according to your own royal sense of justice, for I seek no favor for him.”

“Aweel, my lord, so be it; and if your lordship can think,” added the Monarch, “of any thing in our power which might comfort you—”

“A well, my lord, so be it; and if you can think,” added the Monarch, “of anything we can do that might comfort you—”

“Your Majesty's gracious sympathy,” said Lord Huntinglen, “has already comforted me as far as earth can; the rest must be from the King of kings.”

“Your Majesty's kind sympathy,” said Lord Huntinglen, “has already comforted me as much as anyone could; the rest must come from the King of kings.”

“To Him I commend you, my auld and faithful servant,” said James with emotion, as the earl withdrew from his presence. The king remained fixed in thought for some time, and then said to Heriot, “Jingling Geordie, ye ken all the privy doings of our Court, and have dune so these thirty years, though, like a wise man, ye hear, and see, and say nothing. Now, there is a thing I fain wad ken, in the way of philosophical inquiry—Did you ever hear of the umquhile Lady Huntinglen, the departed Countess of this noble earl, ganging a wee bit gleed in her walk through the world; I mean in the way of slipping a foot, casting a leglin-girth, or the like, ye understand me?”

“To Him I commend you, my old and faithful servant,” James said emotionally as the earl left his presence. The king remained deep in thought for a while and then said to Heriot, “Jingling Geordie, you know all the secret happenings of our Court and have for the past thirty years, though, like a wise man, you hear, see, and say nothing. Now, there’s something I would like to know for philosophical reasons—Did you ever hear about the late Lady Huntinglen, the deceased Countess of this noble earl, having a bit of a stumble during her walk through life; I mean like slipping a foot, losing her footing, or something like that, you understand?”

[Footnote: A leglin-girth is the lowest hoop upon a leglin, or milk-pail. Allan Ramsay applies the phrase in the same metaphorical sense.

[Footnote: A leglin-girth is the lowest hoop on a leglin, or milk pail. Allan Ramsay uses the phrase in the same metaphorical way.]

“Or bairns can read, they first maun spell, I learn'd this frae my
mammy, And cast a leglin-girth mysell,
 Lang ere I married Tammy.”
                               Christ's Kirk On The Green.]
“Or kids can read, they first have to spell, I learned this from my mom, And tied a leg girth myself, Long before I married Tammy.”  
                               Christ's Kirk On The Green.

“On my word as an honest man,” said George Heriot, somewhat surprised at the question, “I never heard her wronged by the slightest breath of suspicion. She was a worthy lady, very circumspect in her walk, and lived in great concord with her husband, save that the good Countess was something of a puritan, and kept more company with ministers than was altogether agreeable to Lord Huntinglen, who is, as your Majesty well knows, a man of the old rough world, that will drink and swear.”

"Honestly," said George Heriot, a bit surprised by the question, "I've never heard a single hint of her being wronged. She was a respectable lady, very careful in her conduct, and got along well with her husband, except that the good Countess was somewhat of a puritan and spent more time with ministers than Lord Huntinglen found completely agreeable. As your Majesty knows well, he’s a man of the old rough world who enjoys drinking and swearing."

“O Geordie!” exclaimed the king, “these are auld-warld frailties, of whilk we dare not pronounce even ourselves absolutely free. But the warld grows worse from day to day, Geordie. The juveniles of this age may weel say with the poet—

“O Geordie!” exclaimed the king, “these are old-world weaknesses that we cannot even claim to be completely free from ourselves. But the world gets worse every day, Geordie. The youth of this time can surely say with the poet—

     'Aetas parentum, pejor avis, tulit Nos nequiores—'
'Aetas parentum, pejor avis, tulit Nos nequiores—'

This Dalgarno does not drink so much, or swear so much, as his father; but he wenches, Geordie, and he breaks his word and oath baith. As to what you say of the leddy, and the ministers, we are a' fallible creatures, Geordie, priests and kings, as weel as others; and wha kens but what that may account for the difference between this Dalgarno and his father? The earl is the vera soul of honour, and cares nae mair for warld's gear than a noble hound for the quest of a foulmart; but as for his son, he was like to brazen us a' out—ourselves, Steenie, Baby Charles, and our council—till he heard of the tocher, and then, by my kingly crown, he lap like a cock at a grossart! These are discrepancies betwixt parent and son not to be accounted for naturally, according to Baptista Porta, Michael Scott de secretis, and others.—Ah, Jingling Geordie, if your clouting the caldron, and jingling on pots, pans, and veshels of all manner of metal, hadna jingled a' your grammar out of your head, I could have touched on that matter to you at mair length.”

This Dalgarno doesn’t drink as much or swear as much as his father; but, Geordie, he does chase women, and he breaks his promises and oaths as well. As for what you say about the lady and the ministers, we’re all fallible creatures, Geordie—priests and kings just like everyone else; and who knows, maybe that explains the difference between this Dalgarno and his father? The earl is the very soul of honor and cares no more for worldly possessions than a noble hound does for the hunt of a foulmart; but as for his son, he was almost going to embarrass us all—ourselves, Steenie, Baby Charles, and our council—until he heard about the dowry, and then, by my royal crown, he jumped like a rooster at a feast! These are differences between parent and child that can’t be explained naturally, according to Baptista Porta, Michael Scott de secretis, and others.—Ah, Jingling Geordie, if your banging of the cauldron and clanging on pots, pans, and all sorts of metal vessels hadn’t knocked all the grammar out of your head, I could’ve talked to you about that in more detail.

Heriot was too plain-spoken to express much concern for the loss of his grammar learning on this occasion; but after modestly hinting that he had seen many men who could not fill their father's bonnet, though no one had been suspected of wearing their father's nightcap, he inquired “whether Lord Dalgarno had consented to do the Lady Hermione justice.”

Heriot was too straightforward to show much worry about losing his grammar knowledge this time; however, after modestly suggesting that he'd seen many men who couldn't live up to their father's reputation, even though no one was thought to be taking their father's role, he asked “whether Lord Dalgarno had agreed to do the Lady Hermione justice.”

“Troth, man, I have small doubt that he will,” quoth the king; “I gave him the schedule of her worldly substance, which you delivered to us in the council, and we allowed him half-an-hour to chew the cud upon that. It is rare reading for bringing him to reason. I left Baby Charles and Steenie laying his duty before him; and if he can resist doing what they desire him—why, I wish he would teach me the gate of it. O Geordie, Jingling Geordie, it was grand to hear Baby Charles laying down the guilt of dissimulation, and Steenie lecturing on the turpitude of incontinence!”

“Honestly, man, I have no doubt he will,” said the king; “I gave him the list of her possessions that you handed to us in the meeting, and we gave him half an hour to think it over. It’s some serious reading to make him see sense. I left Baby Charles and Steenie advising him on his responsibilities; and if he can resist doing what they want—well, I wish he would show me how he does it. Oh Geordie, Jingle Geordie, it was amazing to hear Baby Charles discussing the sin of deceit, and Steenie lecturing on the wrongness of weakness!”

“I am afraid,” said George Heriot, more hastily than prudently, “I might have thought of the old proverb of Satan reproving sin.”

“I’m afraid,” said George Heriot, more quickly than wisely, “I might have remembered the old saying about Satan correcting sin.”

“Deil hae our saul, neighbour,” said the king, reddening, “but ye are not blate! I gie ye license to speak freely, and, by our saul, ye do not let the privilege become lost non utendo—it will suffer no negative prescription in your hands. Is it fit, think ye, that Baby Charles should let his thoughts be publicly seen?—No—no—princes' thoughts are arcana imperiiQui nescit dissimulare nescit regnare. Every liege subject is bound to speak the whole truth to the king, but there is nae reciprocity of obligation—and for Steenie having been whiles a dike-louper at a time, is it for you, who are his goldsmith, and to whom, I doubt, he awes an uncomatable sum, to cast that up to him?”

“Devil take our soul, neighbor,” said the king, blushing, “but you are not shy! I give you permission to speak your mind, and, by our soul, you definitely don’t let that privilege go to waste—it won’t lose any value in your hands. Do you think it’s appropriate for Baby Charles to let his thoughts be seen by the public?—No—no—princes’ thoughts are secrets of the state—‘He who cannot disguise his thoughts cannot rule.’ Every loyal subject must speak the whole truth to the king, but there’s no obligation for the king to reciprocate—and for Steenie having once been a ditcher in the past, is it for you, who are his goldsmith, and to whom, I suspect, he owes an unpayable amount, to throw that back at him?”

Heriot did not feel himself called on to play the part of Zeno and sacrifice himself for upholding the cause of moral truth; he did not desert it, however, by disavowing his words, but simply expressed sorrow for having offended his Majesty, with which the placable king was sufficiently satisfied.

Heriot didn't feel like he needed to be a martyr for the cause of moral truth; however, he also didn't abandon it by taking back his words. He simply expressed regret for offending the king, which was enough to appease the king's temper.

“And now, Geordie, man,” quoth he, “we will to this culprit, and hear what he has to say for himself, for I will see the job cleared this blessed day. Ye maun come wi' me, for your evidence may be wanted.”

“And now, Geordie, man,” he said, “let's go to this culprit and hear what he has to say for himself, because I want to get this job done today. You need to come with me, as your testimony might be needed.”

The king led the way, accordingly, into a larger apartment, where the Prince, the Duke of Buckingham, and one or two privy counsellors were seated at a table, before which stood Lord Dalgarno, in an attitude of as much elegant ease and indifference as could be expressed, considering the stiff dress and manners of the times.

The king led the way into a larger room, where the Prince, the Duke of Buckingham, and a couple of advisers were sitting at a table. Lord Dalgarno stood before them, trying to look as casually elegant and indifferent as possible, despite the formal clothing and manners of the time.

All rose and bowed reverently, while the king, to use a north country word, expressive of his mode of locomotion, toddled to his chair or throne, making a sign to Heriot to stand behind him.

All stood up and bowed respectfully, while the king, to use a northern term that describes how he moved, toddled to his chair or throne, signaling for Heriot to stand behind him.

“We hope,” said his Majesty, “that Lord Dalgarno stands prepared to do justice to this unfortunate lady, and to his own character and honour?”

“We hope,” said his Majesty, “that Lord Dalgarno is ready to do right by this unfortunate lady, as well as by his own character and honor?”

“May I humbly inquire the penalty,” said Lord Dalgarno, “in case I should unhappily find compliance with your Majesty's demands impossible?”

“May I respectfully ask what the penalty would be,” said Lord Dalgarno, “if I were to unfortunately find it impossible to meet your Majesty's demands?”

“Banishment frae our Court, my lord,” said the king; “frae our Court and our countenance.”

“Banishment from our Court, my lord,” said the king; “from our Court and our favor.”

“Unhappy exile that I may be!” said Lord Dalgarno, in a tone of subdued irony—“I will at least carry your Majesty's picture with me, for I shall never see such another king.”

“Unhappy exile, that I might be!” said Lord Dalgarno, in a tone of quiet irony—“I will at least take your Majesty's picture with me, because I will never see another king like you.”

“And banishment, my lord,” said the Prince, sternly, “from these our dominions.”

“And banishment, my lord,” said the Prince, firmly, “from these lands of ours.”

“That must be by form of law, please your Royal Highness,” said Dalgarno, with an affectation of deep respect; “and I have not heard that there is a statute, compelling us, under such penalty, to marry every woman we may play the fool with. Perhaps his Grace of Buckingham can tell me?”

“That must be by law, if it pleases Your Royal Highness,” said Dalgarno, with an exaggerated show of respect; “and I haven't heard of any statute that forces us, under such penalty, to marry every woman we might act foolishly with. Maybe the Duke of Buckingham can enlighten me?”

“You are a villain, Dalgarno,” said the haughty and vehement favourite.

“You're a villain, Dalgarno,” said the arrogant and passionate favorite.

“Fie, my lord, fie!—to a prisoner, and in presence of your royal and paternal gossip!” said Lord Dalgarno. “But I will cut this deliberation short. I have looked over this schedule of the goods and effects of Erminia Pauletti, daughter of the late noble—yes, he is called the noble, or I read wrong, Giovanni Pauletti, of the Houee of Sansovino, in Genoa, and of the no less noble Lady Maud Olifaunt, of the House of Glenvarloch—Well, I declare that I was pre-contracted in Spain to this noble lady, and there has passed betwixt us some certain proelibatio matrimonii; and now, what more does this grave assembly require of me?”

“Come on, my lord, come on!—to a prisoner, and in front of your royal and family friend!” said Lord Dalgarno. “But I’ll make this brief. I’ve reviewed the list of the assets and belongings of Erminia Pauletti, daughter of the late noble—yes, he’s known as the noble, or I’m reading this wrong, Giovanni Pauletti, of the House of Sansovino in Genoa, and the equally noble Lady Maud Olifaunt, of the House of Glenvarloch—Well, I must say that I was pre-contracted in Spain to this noble lady, and we have exchanged some certain proelibatio matrimonii; so now, what else does this serious gathering want from me?”

“That you should repair the gross and infamous wrong you have done the lady, by marrying her within this hour,” said the Prince.

“That you should fix the terrible and shameful wrong you’ve done to the lady by marrying her within this hour,” said the Prince.

“O, may it please your Royal Highness,” answered Dalgarno, “I have a trifling relationship with an old Earl, who calls himself my father, who may claim some vote in the matter. Alas! every son is not blessed with an obedient parent!” He hazarded a slight glance towards the throne, to give meaning to his last words.

“O, may it please your Royal Highness,” replied Dalgarno, “I have a distant connection with an old Earl, who claims to be my father, and he might have some say in this. Unfortunately! not every son is lucky enough to have a compliant parent!” He risked a brief look toward the throne to add weight to his last remark.

“We have spoken ourselves with Lord Huntinglen,” said the king, “and are authorised to consent in his name.”

“We have spoken directly with Lord Huntinglen,” said the king, “and we are authorized to agree in his name.”

“I could never have expected this intervention of a proxaneta, which the vulgar translate blackfoot, of such eminent dignity,” said Dalgarno, scarce concealing a sneer. “And my father hath consented? He was wont to say, ere we left Scotland, that the blood of Huntinglen and of Glenvarloch would not mingle, were they poured into the same basin. Perhaps he has a mind to try the experiment?”

“I could never have anticipated this intervention of a proxaneta, which the common people call a blackfoot, of such high status,” Dalgarno said, barely hiding a smirk. “And my father has agreed? He used to say, before we left Scotland, that the blood of Huntinglen and Glenvarloch would never mix, even if poured into the same basin. Maybe he wants to test that theory?”

“My lord,” said James, “we will not be longer trifled with—Will you instantly, and sine mora, take this lady to your wife, in our chapel?”

“My lord,” said James, “we won’t be messed around any longer—Will you immediately, and sine mora, take this lady to be your wife, in our chapel?”

Statim atque instanter,” answered Lord Dalgarno; “for I perceive by doing so, I shall obtain power to render great services to the commonwealth—I shall have acquired wealth to supply the wants of your Majesty, and a fair wife to be at the command of his Grace of Buckingham.”

Right away and immediately,” replied Lord Dalgarno; “because I see that by acting this way, I'll gain the ability to do great things for the country—I will have acquired wealth to meet your Majesty's needs, and a lovely wife to be at the disposal of his Grace of Buckingham.”

The Duke rose, passed to the end of the table where Lord Dalgarno was standing, and whispered in his ear, “You have placed a fair sister at my command ere now.”

The Duke stood up, walked to the end of the table where Lord Dalgarno was standing, and whispered in his ear, “You've put a lovely sister at my service before.”

This taunt cut deep through Lord Dalgarno's assumed composure. He started as if an adder had stung him, but instantly composed himself, and, fixing on the Duke's still smiling countenance an eye which spoke unutterable hatred, he pointed the forefinger of his left hand to the hilt of his sword, but in a manner which could scarce be observed by any one save Buckingham. The Duke gave him another smile of bitter scorn, and returned to his seat, in obedience to the commands of the king, who continued calling out, “Sit down, Steenie, sit down, I command ye—we will hae nae harnsbreaking here.”

This insult hit hard at Lord Dalgarno's pretended calm. He flinched as if an adder had bitten him, but quickly regained his composure. Fixing a gaze of pure hatred on the Duke's still-smiling face, he pointed the forefinger of his left hand towards the hilt of his sword, but in a way that only Buckingham could notice. The Duke responded with another smile full of bitter scorn and returned to his seat, following the king's commands, who kept calling out, “Sit down, Steenie, sit down, I command you—we won’t have any fighting here.”

“Your Majesty needs not fear my patience,” said Lord Dalgarno; “and that I may keep it the better, I will not utter another word in this presence, save those enjoined to me in that happy portion of the Prayer-Book, which begins with Dearly Beloved, and ends with amazement.”

“Your Majesty doesn't need to worry about my patience,” said Lord Dalgarno; “and to maintain it, I won’t say anything else here, except for the words required of me in that lovely part of the Prayer-Book, which starts with Dearly Beloved and ends with amazement.”

“You are a hardened villain, Dalgarno,” said the king; “and were I the lass, by my father's saul, I would rather brook the stain of having been your concubine, than run the risk of becoming your wife. But she shall be under our special protection.—Come, my lords, we will ourselves see this blithesome bridal.” He gave the signal by rising, and moved towards the door, followed by the train. Lord Dalgarno attended, speaking to none, and spoken to by no one, yet seeming as easy and unembarrassed in his gait and manner as if in reality a happy bridegroom.

“You're a cold-hearted villain, Dalgarno,” said the king. “If I were the girl, I swear on my father's soul, I'd rather endure the shame of being your mistress than risk becoming your wife. But she will be under our special protection. Come, my lords, we will go see this cheerful wedding ourselves.” He signaled by standing up and walked toward the door, followed by the others. Lord Dalgarno walked along, not speaking to anyone and not being spoken to by anyone, yet appearing as relaxed and composed as if he were truly a happy groom.

They reached the Chapel by a private entrance, which communicated from the royal apartment. The Bishop of Winchester, in his pontifical dress, stood beside the altar; on the other side, supported by Monna Paula, the colourless, faded, half-lifeless form of the Lady Hermione, or Erminia Pauletti. Lord Dalgarno bowed profoundly to her, and the Prince, observing the horror with which she regarded him, walked up, and said to her, with much dignity,—“Madam, ere you put yourself under the authority of this man, let me inform you, he hath in the fullest degree vindicated your honour, so far as concerns your former intercourse. It is for you to consider whether you will put your fortune and happiness into the hands of one, who has shown himself unworthy of all trust.”

They entered the Chapel through a private entrance that connected to the royal apartment. The Bishop of Winchester, dressed in his ceremonial robes, was standing by the altar; on the other side, with the help of Monna Paula, was the pale, faded, half-conscious form of Lady Hermione, or Erminia Pauletti. Lord Dalgarno bowed deeply to her, and when the Prince noticed the fear with which she looked at him, he approached her and said, with great dignity, “Madam, before you submit to the authority of this man, let me inform you that he has completely cleared your name regarding your past interactions. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to entrust your future and happiness to someone who has proven himself unworthy of your trust.”

The lady, with much difficulty, found words to make reply. “I owe to his Majesty's goodness,” she said, “the care of providing me some reservation out of my own fortune, for my decent sustenance. The rest cannot be better disposed than in buying back the fair fame of which I am deprived, and the liberty of ending my life in peace and seclusion.”

The lady struggled to find the right words to respond. “Thanks to his Majesty’s kindness,” she said, “I have some savings from my own fortune to support myself. The rest is best used to restore my good name, which I’ve lost, and to gain the freedom to live out my life in peace and privacy.”

“The contract has been drawn up,” said the king, “under our own eye, specially discharging the potestas maritalis, and agreeing they shall live separate. So buckle them, my Lord Bishop, as fast as you can, that they may sunder again the sooner.”

“The contract has been prepared,” said the king, “under our own supervision, specifically canceling the potestas maritalis, and agreeing that they will live apart. So tie them up, my Lord Bishop, as quickly as you can, so they can separate again sooner.”

The Bishop accordingly opened his book and commenced the marriage ceremony, under circumstances so novel and so inauspicious. The responses of the bride were only expressed by inclinations of the head and body; while those of the bridegroom were spoken boldly and distinctly, with a tone resembling levity, if not scorn. When it was concluded, Lord Dalgarno advanced as if to salute the bride, but seeing that she drew back in fear and abhorrence, he contented himself with making her a low bow. He then drew up his form to its height, and stretched himself as if examining the power of his limbs, but elegantly, and without any forcible change of attitude. “I could caper yet,” he said “though I am in fetters—but they are of gold, and lightly worn.—Well, I see all eyes look cold on me, and it is time I should withdraw. The sun shines elsewhere than in England! But first I must ask how this fair Lady Dalgarno is to be bestowed. Methinks it is but decent I should know. Is she to be sent to the harem of my Lord Duke? Or is this worthy citizen, as before—”

The Bishop opened his book and started the marriage ceremony, under such unusual and unfortunate circumstances. The bride responded only with nods of her head and body; while the groom spoke clearly and confidently, with a tone that sounded more like amusement, if not contempt. When it was over, Lord Dalgarno moved as if to greet the bride, but when he saw her step back in fear and disgust, he settled for giving her a bow. He then straightened up and stretched as if testing the strength of his limbs, but in a graceful way, without any sudden movements. “I could still dance," he said, "even though I’m in chains—but they’re made of gold and feel light.” He continued, “Well, I see everyone looking at me coldly, and it’s time for me to leave. The sun shines elsewhere than in England! But first, I need to know how this beautiful Lady Dalgarno will be taken care of. I think it’s only proper for me to be informed. Is she going to the harem of my Lord Duke? Or is this respected citizen, as before—”

“Hold thy base ribald tongue!” said his father, Lord Huntinglen, who had kept in the background during the ceremony, and now stepping suddenly forward, caught the lady by the arm, and confronted her unworthy husband.—“The Lady Dalgarno,” he continued, “shall remain as a widow in my house. A widow I esteem her, as much as if the grave had closed over her dishonoured husband.”

“Shut your filthy mouth!” said his father, Lord Huntinglen, who had been standing back during the ceremony. Now stepping forward, he grabbed the lady's arm and faced her unworthy husband. “The Lady Dalgarno,” he continued, “will stay as a widow in my house. I consider her a widow just as much as if the grave had claimed her dishonored husband.”

Lord Dalgarno exhibited momentary symptoms of extreme confusion, and said, in a submissive tone, “If you, my lord, can wish me dead, I cannot, though your heir, return the compliment. Few of the first-born of Israel,” he added, recovering himself from the single touch of emotion he had displayed, “can say so much with truth. But I will convince you ere I go, that I am a true descendant of a house famed for its memory of injuries.”

Lord Dalgarno showed a brief moment of intense confusion and said in a deferential tone, “If you, my lord, wish for my death, I cannot, even as your heir, wish the same upon you. Few of the first-born of Israel,” he continued, regaining his composure after the slight display of emotion, “can claim such a thing with honesty. But before I leave, I will prove to you that I am a true descendant of a family known for remembering its grievances.”

“I marvel your Majesty will listen to him longer,” said Prince Charles. “Methinks we have heard enough of his daring insolence.”

“I can't believe your Majesty will listen to him any longer,” said Prince Charles. “I think we've heard enough of his bold disrespect.”

But James, who took the interest of a true gossip in such a scene as was now passing, could not bear to cut the controversy short, but imposed silence on his son, with “Whisht, Baby Charles—there is a good bairn, whisht!—I want to hear what the frontless loon can say.”

But James, who had a genuine interest in gossip about the scene unfolding, couldn’t bring himself to end the debate just yet. He silenced his son with, “Hush, Baby Charles—be a good boy, hush!—I want to hear what the clueless fool has to say.”

“Only, sir,” said Dalgarno, “that but for one single line in this schedule, all else that it contains could not have bribed me to take that woman's hand into mine.”

“Only, sir,” said Dalgarno, “if it weren't for one single line in this schedule, nothing else in it could have persuaded me to take that woman's hand in mine.”

“That line maun have been the SUMMA TOTALIS,” said the king.

“That line must have been the SUMMA TOTALIS,” said the king.

“Not so, sire,” replied Dalgarno. “The sum total might indeed have been an object for consideration even to a Scottish king, at no very distant period; but it would have had little charms for me, save that I see here an entry which gives me the power of vengeance over the family of Glenvarloch; and learn from it that yonder pale bride, when she put the wedding-torch into my hand, gave me the power of burning her mother's house to ashes!”

“Not at all, my lord,” replied Dalgarno. “The whole amount might have been worth thinking about even for a Scottish king not too long ago; but it doesn’t interest me much, except for the fact that I see here an entry that gives me the chance for revenge against the family of Glenvarloch; and I learned from it that the pale bride over there, when she handed me the wedding torch, gave me the power to burn her mother’s house to the ground!”

“How is that?” said the king. “What is he speaking about, Jingling Geordie?”

“How is that?” said the king. “What is he talking about, Jingling Geordie?”

“This friendly citizen, my liege,” said Lord Dalgarno, “hath expended a sum belonging to my lady, and now, I thank heaven, to me, in acquiring a certain mortgage, or wanset, over the estate of Glenvarloch, which, if it be not redeemed before to-morrow at noon, will put me in possession of the fair demesnes of those who once called themselves our house's rivals.”

“This friendly citizen, my lord,” said Lord Dalgarno, “has spent some money that belongs to my lady, and now, thank goodness, to me, to acquire a certain mortgage over the estate of Glenvarloch, which, if it’s not paid off before tomorrow at noon, will give me ownership of the beautiful lands of those who once considered themselves our family’s rivals.”

“Can this be true?” said the king.

“Can this really be true?” said the king.

“It is even but too true, please your Majesty,” answered the citizen. “The Lady Hermione having advanced the money for the original creditor, I was obliged, in honour and honesty, to take the rights to her; and doubtless, they pass to her husband.”

“It’s quite true, your Majesty,” replied the citizen. “Lady Hermione lent the money to the original creditor, so I had to assign the rights to her, out of honor and honesty; and surely, they go to her husband.”

“But the warrant, man,” said the king—“the warrant on our Exchequer—Couldna that supply the lad wi' the means of redemption?”

“But the warrant, man,” said the king—“the warrant on our Exchequer—Couldn't that provide the guy with the means to redeem himself?”

“Unhappily, my liege, he has lost it, or disposed of it—It is not to be found. He is the most unlucky youth!”

“Unfortunately, my lord, he has lost it or gotten rid of it—It can’t be found. He is the unluckiest young man!”

“This is a proper spot of work!” said the king, beginning to amble about and play with the points of his doublet and hose, in expression of dismay. “We cannot aid him without paying our debts twice over, and we have, in the present state of our Exchequer, scarce the means of paying them once.”

“This is quite a mess!” said the king, starting to walk around and fiddle with the points of his outfit, showing his frustration. “We can’t help him without paying our debts twice, and given the current state of our treasury, we barely have enough to pay them once.”

“You have told me news,” said Lord Dalgarno, “but I will take no advantage.”

“You’ve shared some news with me,” said Lord Dalgarno, “but I won’t use it to my advantage.”

“Do not,” said his father, “be a bold villain, since thou must be one, and seek revenge with arms, and not with the usurer's weapons.”

“Don’t,” said his father, “be a reckless villain. If you must be, then seek revenge with weapons, not with the tools of a loan shark.”

“Pardon me, my lord,” said Lord Dalgarno. “Pen and ink are now my surest means of vengeance; and more land is won by the lawyer with the ram-skin, than by the Andrea Ferrara with his sheepshead handle. But, as I said before, I will take no advantages. I will await in town to-morrow, near Covent Garden; if any one will pay the redemption-money to my scrivener, with whom the deeds lie, the better for Lord Glenvarloch; if not, I will go forward on the next day, and travel with all dispatch to the north, to take possession.”

“Excuse me, my lord,” said Lord Dalgarno. “Pen and paper are now my best tools for revenge; and more land is gained by the lawyer with the legal documents than by the sword with its fancy hilt. But, as I mentioned earlier, I won’t take any unfair advantages. I’ll be in town tomorrow, near Covent Garden; if anyone can pay the redemption money to my scrivener, who holds the deeds, it will benefit Lord Glenvarloch; if not, I will continue my journey the next day and head north as quickly as possible to take possession.”

“Take a father's malison with you, unhappy wretch!” said Lord Huntinglen.

“Take a father's curse with you, miserable wretch!” said Lord Huntinglen.

“And a king's, who is pater patriae,” said James.

“And a king's, who is father of the country,” said James.

“I trust to bear both lightly,” said Lord Dalgarno; and bowing around him, he withdrew; while all present, oppressed, and, as it were, overawed, by his determined effrontery, found they could draw breath more freely, when he at length relieved them of his society. Lord Huntinglen, applying himself to comfort his new daughter-in-law, withdrew with her also; and the king, with his privy-council, whom he had not dismissed, again returned to his council-chamber, though the hour was unusually late. Heriot's attendance was still commanded, but for what reason was not explained to him.

“I intend to handle both lightly,” said Lord Dalgarno; and as he bowed to those around him, he left. Everyone present, feeling weighed down and somewhat intimidated by his boldness, found it easier to breathe once he finally departed. Lord Huntinglen, trying to console his new daughter-in-law, left with her as well. The king, along with his privy council, whom he had not dismissed, returned to his council chamber, even though it was unusually late. Heriot was still asked to stay, but he wasn’t told why.










CHAPTER XXXIII

—-I'll play the eavesdropper. Richard III., Act V., Scene 3.

—-I'll be the eavesdropper. Richard III., Act V., Scene 3.



James had no sooner resumed his seat at the council-board than he began to hitch in his chair, cough, use his handkerchief, and make other intimations that he meditated a long speech. The council composed themselves to the beseeming degree of attention. Charles, as strict in his notions of decorum, as his father was indifferent to it, fixed himself in an attitude of rigid and respectful attention, while the haughty favourite, conscious of his power over both father and son, stretched himself more easily on his seat, and, in assuming an appearance of listening, seemed to pay a debt to ceremonial rather than to duty.

James had barely sat down at the council table when he started shifting in his chair, coughing, using his handkerchief, and making other signals that he was preparing to give a long speech. The council members adjusted themselves to show the proper amount of attention. Charles, who was as strict about decorum as his father was unconcerned about it, positioned himself in a stance of rigid and respectful focus. Meanwhile, the arrogant favorite, aware of his influence over both father and son, lounged comfortably in his seat and, while pretending to listen, seemed to be fulfilling a formality more than a true obligation.

“I doubt not, my lords,” said the Monarch, “that some of you may be thinking the hour of refection is past, and that it is time to ask with the slave in the comedy—Quid de symbolo?—Nevertheless, to do justice and exercise judgment is our meat and drink; and now we are to pray your wisdom to consider the case of this unhappy youth, Lord Glenvarloch, and see whether, consistently with our honour, any thing can be done in his favour.”

“I have no doubt, my lords,” said the Monarch, “that some of you might be thinking the time for refreshments is over, and that it’s time to ask like the slave in the comedy—Quid de symbolo?—Nevertheless, to serve justice and make fair judgments is our sustenance; and now we need to ask for your wisdom to consider the situation of this unfortunate young man, Lord Glenvarloch, and see if there’s anything that can be done in his favor, in line with our honor.”

“I am surprised at your Majesty's wisdom making the inquiry,” said the Duke; “it is plain this Dalgarno hath proved one of the most insolent villains on earth, and it must therefore be clear, that if Lord Glenvarloch had run him through the body, there would but have been out of the world a knave who had lived in it too long. I think Lord Glenvarloch hath had much wrong; and I regret that, by the persuasions of this false fellow, I have myself had some hand in it.”

“I’m impressed by your Majesty’s wisdom in asking that question,” said the Duke. “It’s obvious that this Dalgarno has been one of the most arrogant villains around, and it’s clear that if Lord Glenvarloch had stabbed him, the world would only be rid of a scoundrel who had overstayed his welcome. I believe Lord Glenvarloch has been wronged in many ways, and I regret that, through the manipulations of this deceitful man, I’ve played a part in it myself.”

“Ye speak like a child, Steenie—I mean my Lord of Buckingham,” answered the king, “and as one that does not understand the logic of the schools; for an action may be inconsequential or even meritorious, quoad hominem, that is, as touching him upon whom it is acted; and yet most criminal, quoad locum, or considering the place wherein it is done; as a man may lawfully dance Chrighty Beardie or any other dance in a tavern, but not inter parietes ecclesiae. So that, though it may have been a good deed to have sticked Lord Dalgarno, being such as he has shown himself, anywhere else, yet it fell under the plain statute, when violence was offered within the verge of the Court. For, let me tell you, my lords, the statute against striking would be of no small use in our Court, if it could be eluded by justifying the person stricken to be a knave. It is much to be lamented that I ken nae Court in Christendom where knaves are not to be found; and if men are to break the peace under pretence of beating them, why, it will rain Jeddart staves [Footnote: The old-fashioned weapon called the Jeddart staff was a species of battle-axe. Of a very great tempest, it is said, in the south of Scotland, that it rains Jeddart staffs, as in England the common people talk of its raining cats and dogs.] in our very ante-chamber.”

“You speak like a child, Steenie—I mean my Lord of Buckingham,” answered the king, “and as someone who doesn’t understand the logic of schools; because an action may be insignificant or even noble, quoad hominem, meaning concerning the person whom it impacts; and yet very wrong, quoad locum, or considering the place where it happens; like how a man can dance Chrighty Beardie or any other dance in a tavern, but not inter parietes ecclesiae (inside church walls). So, although it might have been a good deed to take down Lord Dalgarno, considering how he has behaved, anywhere else, it fell under the clear law when violence was committed within the confines of the Court. Because, let me tell you, my lords, the law against assault would be quite useful in our Court, if it could be bypassed by justifying that the person assaulted is a scoundrel. It’s really unfortunate that I don’t know of any Court in Christendom where scoundrels are not found; and if people are allowed to break the peace with the excuse of hitting them, then we’ll have Jeddart staves [Footnote: The old-fashioned weapon called the Jeddart staff was a species of battle-axe. Of a very great tempest, it is said, in the south of Scotland, that it rains Jeddart staffs, as in England the common people talk of its raining cats and dogs.] raining down in our very ante-chamber.”

“What your Majesty says,” replied Prince Charles, “is marked with your usual wisdom—the precincts of palaces must be sacred as well as the persons of kings, which are respected even in the most barbarous nations, as being one step only beneath their divinities. But your Majesty's will can control the severity of this and every other law, and it is in your power, on consideration of his case, to grant the rash young man a free pardon.”

“What you just said, Your Majesty,” replied Prince Charles, “shows your usual wisdom—palace grounds should be considered sacred, just like the individuals of kings, who are respected even in the most barbaric nations as they are seen as just a step below the gods. However, Your Majesty has the authority to ease this and all other laws, and you have the power to grant a full pardon to this reckless young man after considering his situation.”

Rem acu tetigisti, Carole, mi puerule,” answered the king; “and know, my lords, that we have, by a shrewd device and gift of our own, already sounded the very depth of this Lord Glenvarloch's disposition. I trow there be among you some that remember my handling in the curious case of my Lady Lake, and how I trimmed them about the story of hearkening behind the arras. Now this put me to cogitation, and I remembered me of having read that Dionysius, King of Syracuse, whom historians call Tyrannos, which signifieth not in the Greek tongue, as in ours, a truculent usurper, but a royal king who governs, it may be, something more strictly than we and other lawful monarchs, whom the ancients termed Basileis—Now this Dionysius of Syracuse caused cunning workmen to build for himself a lugg—D'ye ken what that is, my Lord Bishop?”

You hit the nail on the head, Carol, my little boy,” replied the king; “and let me tell you, my lords, that we have, through a clever trick and our own gifts, already gotten to the bottom of this Lord Glenvarloch's character. I suppose some of you might remember how I dealt with the peculiar case of Lady Lake and how I played around with the story about eavesdropping behind the tapestry. This made me think, and I recalled reading that Dionysius, King of Syracuse, whom historians refer to as Tyrant, which doesn’t mean the same in Greek as it does in our language, isn’t just a brutal usurper, but rather a royal king who rules perhaps a bit more strictly than we and other rightful monarchs, whom the ancients called Basileis—Now this Dionysius of Syracuse had skilled workers build for him a lugg—Do you know what that is, my Lord Bishop?”

“A cathedral, I presume to guess,” answered the Bishop.

“A cathedral, I guess,” replied the Bishop.

“What the deil, man—I crave your lordship's pardon for swearing—but it was no cathedral—only a lurking-place called the king's lugg, or ear, where he could sit undescried, and hear the converse of his prisoners. Now, sirs, in imitation of this Dionysius, whom I took for my pattern, the rather that he was a great linguist and grammarian, and taught a school with good applause after his abdication, (either he or his successor of the same name, it matters not whilk)—I have caused them to make a lugg up at the state-prison of the Tower yonder, more like a pulpit than a cathedral, my Lord Bishop—and communicating with the arras behind the Lieutenant's chamber, where we may sit and privily hear the discourse of such prisoners as are pent up there for state-offences, and so creep into the very secrets of our enemies.”

“What the devil, man—I apologize for swearing—but it wasn’t a cathedral—just a hideout called the king's lugg, or ear, where he could sit unnoticed and listen to his prisoners. Now, gentlemen, following the example of this Dionysius, whom I looked to for inspiration, especially since he was a great linguist and grammarian, and taught a school with good success after his retirement, (whether it was he or his successor of the same name doesn’t really matter)—I have had them create a lugg up at the state prison in the Tower over there, more like a pulpit than a cathedral, my Lord Bishop—and connected to the tapestry behind the Lieutenant’s chamber, where we can sit and secretly hear the conversations of those prisoners confined there for state offenses, and thus get into the very secrets of our enemies.”

The Prince cast a glance towards the Duke, expressive of great vexation and disgust. Buckingham shrugged his shoulders, but the motion was so slight as to be almost imperceptible.

The Prince looked at the Duke with clear annoyance and disgust. Buckingham shrugged his shoulders, but the movement was so subtle that it was nearly unnoticeable.

“Weel, my lords, ye ken the fray at the hunting this morning—I shall not get out of the trembling exies until I have a sound night's sleep—just after that, they bring ye in a pretty page that had been found in the Park. We were warned against examining him ourselves by the anxious care of those around us; nevertheless, holding our life ever at the service of these kingdoms, we commanded all to avoid the room, the rather that we suspected this boy to be a girl. What think ye, my lords?—few of you would have thought I had a hawk's eye for sic gear; but we thank God, that though we are old, we know so much of such toys as may beseem a man of decent gravity. Weel, my lords, we questioned this maiden in male attire ourselves, and I profess it was a very pretty interrogatory, and well followed. For, though she at first professed that she assumed this disguise in order to countenance the woman who should present us with the Lady Hermione's petition, for whom she professed entire affection; yet when we, suspecting anguis in herba, did put her to the very question, she was compelled to own a virtuous attachment for Glenvarlochides, in such a pretty passion of shame and fear, that we had much ado to keep our own eyes from keeping company with hers in weeping. Also, she laid before us the false practices of this Dalgarno towards Glenvarlochides, inveigling him into houses of ill resort, and giving him evil counsel under pretext of sincere friendship, whereby the inexperienced lad was led to do what was prejudicial to himself, and offensive to us. But, however prettily she told her tale, we determined not altogether to trust to her narration, but rather to try the experiment whilk we had devised for such occasions. And having ourselves speedily passed from Greenwich to the Tower, we constituted ourselves eavesdropper, as it is called, to observe what should pass between Glenvarlochides and his page, whom we caused to be admitted to his apartment, well judging that if they were of counsel together to deceive us, it could not be but something of it would spunk out—And what think ye we saw, my lords?—Naething for you to sniggle and laugh at, Steenie—for I question if you could have played the temperate and Christian-like part of this poor lad Glenvarloch. He might be a Father of the Church in comparison of you, man.—And then, to try his patience yet farther, we loosed on him a courtier and a citizen, that is Sir Mungo Malagrowther and our servant George Heriot here, wha dang the poor lad about, and didna greatly spare our royal selves.—You mind, Geordie, what you said about the wives and concubines? but I forgie ye, man—nae need of kneeling, I forgie ye—the readier, that it regards a certain particular, whilk, as it added not much to Solomon's credit, the lack of it cannot be said to impinge on ours. Aweel, my lords, for all temptation of sore distress and evil ensample, this poor lad never loosed his tongue on us to say one unbecoming word—which inclines us the rather, acting always by your wise advice, to treat this affair of the Park as a thing done in the heat of blood, and under strong provocation, and therefore to confer our free pardon on Lord Glenvarloch.”

“Well, my lords, you know about the fight at the hunt this morning—I won’t stop shaking until I get a good night’s sleep—shortly after that, they brought in a young page who had been found in the Park. We were advised not to examine him ourselves by the worried people around us; however, knowing our lives are always at the service of these kingdoms, we ordered everyone to stay away from the room, especially since we suspected this boy was actually a girl. What do you think, my lords?—few of you would have thought I had a sharp eye for such things; but we thank God that, although we are old, we know enough about such matters to act like a man of decent gravity. Well, my lords, we questioned this maiden in male attire ourselves, and I must say it was a very engaging inquiry, and quite well conducted. For, although she initially claimed she wore this disguise to support the woman who would deliver Lady Hermione's petition, someone she claimed to love deeply; when we, suspecting deceit, pressed her for the truth, she was forced to admit a virtuous affection for Glenvarlochides, revealing such a lovely mix of shame and fear that we could barely hold back our tears. Also, she revealed to us the dishonest actions of this Dalgarno towards Glenvarlochides, luring him into dubious places and giving him bad advice under the guise of sincere friendship, which led the naive young man to act against his best interest and ours. But despite how charmingly she told her story, we decided not to fully trust her account but to try the plan we had set for such situations. So, we quickly moved from Greenwich to the Tower, and we eavesdropped to see what passed between Glenvarlochides and his page, whom we made sure was allowed into his room, knowing that if they were plotting to deceive us, some of it would likely spill out—And what do you think we saw, my lords?—Nothing for you to snicker and laugh about, Steenie—for I doubt you could have kept the poise and dignified demeanor of this poor lad Glenvarloch. He might as well be a Father of the Church compared to you, man.—Then, to test his patience further, we sent in a courtier and a citizen, that is Sir Mungo Malagrowther and our servant George Heriot here, who pestered the poor lad and didn’t spare our royal selves much either.—You remember, Geordie, what you said about the wives and concubines? But I forgive you, man—no need to kneel, I forgive you all the more since it relates to a specific matter, which, while it didn’t do much for Solomon's reputation, cannot be said to affect ours negatively. Well, my lords, despite the temptation of great distress and bad examples, this poor lad never uttered an improper word to us—which makes us more inclined, always acting on your wise advice, to treat this incident in the Park as something done in a moment of rage, and under significant provocation, and therefore to grant our full pardon to Lord Glenvarloch.”

“I am happy your gracious Majesty,” said the Duke of Buckingham, “has arrived at that conclusion, though I could never have guessed at the road by which you attained it.”

“I’m glad your gracious Majesty,” said the Duke of Buckingham, “has reached that conclusion, though I would have never guessed the path you took to get there.”

“I trust,” said Prince Charles, “that it is not a path which your Majesty will think it consistent with your high dignity to tread frequently.”

"I hope," said Prince Charles, "that it's not a path you think is suitable for you to walk on regularly, Your Majesty."

“Never while I live again, Baby Charles, that I give you my royal word on. They say that hearkeners hear ill tales of themselves—by my saul, my very ears are tingling wi' that auld sorrow Sir Mungo's sarcasms. He called us close-fisted, Steenie—I am sure you can contradict that. But it is mere envy in the auld mutilated sinner, because he himself has neither a noble to hold in his loof, nor fingers to close on it if he had.” Here the king lost recollection of Sir Mungo's irreverence in chuckling over his own wit, and only farther alluded to it by saying—“We must give the old maunderer bos in linguam—something to stop his mouth, or he will rail at us from Dan to Beersheba.—And now, my lords, let our warrant of mercy to Lord Glenvarloch be presently expedited, and he put to his freedom; and as his estate is likely to go so sleaveless a gate, we will consider what means of favour we can show him.—My lords, I wish you an appetite to an early supper—for our labours have approached that term.—Baby Charles and Steenie, you will remain till our couchee.—My Lord Bishop, you will be pleased to stay to bless our meat.—Geordie Heriot, a word with you apart.”

“Never again while I live, Baby Charles, I promise you that. They say that those who listen often hear bad things about themselves—honestly, my ears are tingling from that old sorrow of Sir Mungo's sarcasm. He called us stingy, Steenie—I know you can refute that. But it’s just jealousy from that old, bitter sinner, because he has neither a coin to hold nor fingers to grasp it if he did.” Here the king lost track of Sir Mungo's disrespect while chuckling at his own cleverness, and only referred to it further by saying, “We must give the old fool bos in linguam—something to keep him quiet, or he’ll complain about us from one end of the land to the other. Now, my lords, let’s hurry up the order of mercy for Lord Glenvarloch and set him free; and since his estate seems to be heading for disaster, we’ll think about what kind of support we can offer him. My lords, I hope you’re ready for an early supper since our work has come to that point. Baby Charles and Steenie, you’ll stay until we retire. My Lord Bishop, please stay to bless our meal. Geordie Heriot, I need to speak with you privately.”

His Majesty then drew the citizen into a corner, while the counsellors, those excepted who had been commanded to remain, made their obeisance, and withdrew. “Geordie,” said the king, “my good and trusty servant”—Here he busied his fingers much with the points and ribbons of his dress,—“Ye see that we have granted, from our own natural sense of right and justice, that which yon long-backed fallow, Moniplies I think they ca' him, proffered to purchase from us with a mighty bribe; whilk we refused, as being a crowned king, who wad neither sell our justice nor our mercy for pecuniar consideration. Now, what think ye should be the upshot of this?”

His Majesty then pulled the citizen into a corner while the counselors, except for those who were ordered to stay, bowed and left. “Geordie,” said the king, “my good and trusted servant”—Here he fidgeted with the details and ribbons of his outfit—“You see that we have granted, from our own sense of right and justice, what that long-backed fellow, Moniplies I think he’s called, offered to buy from us with a huge bribe; which we refused, as a crowned king, who would neither sell our justice nor our mercy for money. Now, what do you think should be the outcome of this?”

“My Lord Glenvarloch's freedom, and his restoration to your Majesty's favour,” said Heriot.

“My Lord Glenvarloch's freedom and his return to your Majesty's favor,” said Heriot.

“I ken that,” said the king, peevishly. “Ye are very dull to-day. I mean, what do you think this fallow Moniplies should think about the matter?”

“I know that,” said the king, irritably. “You’re being very dull today. I mean, what do you think this idle Moniplies should think about the situation?”

“Surely that your Majesty is a most good and gracious sovereign,” answered Heriot.

“Surely, Your Majesty, you are a very good and gracious ruler,” answered Heriot.

“We had need to be gude and gracious baith,” said the king, still more pettishly, “that have idiots about us that cannot understand what we mint at, unless we speak it out in braid Lowlands. See this chield Moniplies, sir, and tell him what we have done for Lord Glenvarloch, in whom he takes such part, out of our own gracious motion, though we refused to do it on ony proffer of private advantage. Now, you may put it till him, as if of your own mind, whether it will be a gracious or a dutiful part in him, to press us for present payment of the two or three hundred miserable pounds for whilk we were obliged to opignorate our jewels? Indeed, mony men may think ye wad do the part of a good citizen, if you took it on yourself to refuse him payment, seeing he hath had what he professed to esteem full satisfaction, and considering, moreover, that it is evident he hath no pressing need of the money, whereof we have much necessity.”

“We need to be good and gracious both,” said the king, even more petulantly, “since we have fools around us who can’t understand what we mean unless we say it in plain Lowlands. Look at this kid Moniplies, sir, and tell him what we’ve done for Lord Glenvarloch, whom he cares about, out of our own kind intentions, even though we turned it down when offered for any personal gain. Now, you can ask him, as if it were your own idea, whether it would be gracious or dutiful for him to press us for immediate payment of the two or three hundred measly pounds for which we had to pawn our jewels? In fact, many may think you would be doing your duty as a good citizen if you took it upon yourself to refuse him payment, considering he’s had what he claimed to be full satisfaction, and also that it’s clear he has no urgent need for the money, while we have plenty of necessity.”

George Heriot sighed internally. “O my Master,” thought he—“my dear Master, is it then fated you are never to indulge any kingly or noble sentiment, without its being sullied by some afterthought of interested selfishness!”

George Heriot sighed to himself. “Oh my Master,” he thought, “my dear Master, is it really destined that you can never express any kingly or noble sentiment without it being tainted by some selfish motive afterward!”

The king troubled himself not about what he thought, but taking him by the collar, said,—“Ye ken my meaning now, Jingler—awa wi' ye. You are a wise man—manage it your ain gate—but forget not our present straits.” The citizen made his obeisance, and withdrew.

The king didn't worry about what he thought and, grabbing him by the collar, said, “You understand my point now, Jingler—get lost. You’re a clever guy—handle it your own way—but don’t forget our current situation.” The citizen bowed and left.

“And now, bairns,” said the king, “what do you look upon each other for—and what have you got to ask of your dear dad and gossip?”

“And now, kids,” said the king, “why are you looking at each other—and what do you want to ask your dear dad and gossip?”

“Only,” said the Prince, “that it would please your Majesty to command the lurking-place at the prison to be presently built up—the groans of a captive should not be brought in evidence against him.”

“Only,” said the Prince, “if it pleases your Majesty to have the hiding place in the prison sealed up immediately—the cries of a captive shouldn’t be used as evidence against him.”

“What! build up my lugg, Baby Charles? And yet, better deaf than hear ill tales of oneself. So let them build it up, hard and fast, without delay, the rather that my back is sair with sitting in it for a whole hour.—And now let us see what the cooks have been doing for us, bonny bairns.”

“What! build up my lug, Baby Charles? And yet, better to be deaf than hear bad things about myself. So let them build it up, strong and quick, without delay, especially since my back is sore from sitting in it for a whole hour.—And now let’s see what the cooks have prepared for us, lovely little ones.”










CHAPTER XXXIV

  To this brave man the knight repairs
  For counsel in his law affairs;
  And found him mounted in his pew.
  With books and money placed for show,
  Like nest-eggs to make clients lay,
  And for his false opinion pay.
                        Hudibras.
To this brave guy, the knight turns  
For advice in his legal concerns;  
And found him sitting in his spot.  
With books and cash put out on display,  
Like nest eggs to get clients to pay,  
And for his misleading opinion pay.  
                        Hudibras.

Our readers may recollect a certain smooth-tongued, lank-haired, buckram-suited, Scottish scrivener, who, in the earlier part of this history, appeared in the character of a protege of George Heriot. It is to his house we are about to remove, but times have changed with him. The petty booth hath become a chamber of importance—the buckram suit is changed into black velvet; and although the wearer retains his puritanical humility and politeness to clients of consequence, he can now look others broad in the face, and treat them with a full allowance of superior opulence, and the insolence arising from it. It was but a short period that had achieved these alterations, nor was the party himself as yet entirely accustomed to them, but the change was becoming less embarrassing to him with every day's practice. Among other acquisitions of wealth, you may see one of Davy Ramsay's best timepieces on the table, and his eye is frequently observing its revolutions, while a boy, whom he employs as a scribe, is occasionally sent out to compare its progress with the clock of Saint Dunstan.

Our readers might remember a certain smooth-talking, lanky-haired Scottish clerk, who, earlier in this story, was introduced as a protégé of George Heriot. We're about to shift our focus to his house, but his circumstances have changed. The small booth has become an important office—the clerical suit is now black velvet; and although he still maintains his humble demeanor and politeness with important clients, he can now look others straight in the eye and treat them with a full dose of his newfound wealth and the arrogance that comes with it. It hasn't been long since these changes took place, and he himself isn’t completely used to them yet, but with each passing day, it’s becoming less awkward for him. Among his newfound riches, you can spot one of Davy Ramsay's best watches on the table, and he often watches it closely, while a boy he employs as a scribe is occasionally sent out to check its accuracy against the clock at Saint Dunstan.

The scrivener himself seemed considerably agitated. He took from a strong-box a bundle of parchments, and read passages of them with great attention; then began to soliloquize—“There is no outlet which law can suggest—no back-door of evasion—none—if the lands of Glenvarloch are not redeemed before it rings noon, Lord Dalgarno has them a cheap pennyworth. Strange, that he should have been at last able to set his patron at defiance, and achieve for himself the fair estate, with the prospect of which he so long flattered the powerful Buckingham.—Might not Andrew Skurliewhitter nick him as neatly? He hath been my patron—true—not more than Buckingham was his; and he can be so no more, for he departs presently for Scotland. I am glad of it—I hate him, and I fear him. He knows too many of my secrets—I know too many of his. But, no—no—no—I need never attempt it, there are no means of over-reaching him.—Well, Willie, what o'clock?”

The scrivener himself seemed pretty agitated. He took a bundle of parchments from a strongbox and read passages of them with great focus; then he began to talk to himself—“There’s no escape the law could offer—no way to wriggle out of this—not a single one—if the lands of Glenvarloch aren't saved before noon, Lord Dalgarno gets them for a steal. It's strange that he’s finally managed to defy his patron and secure the nice estate he’s been dangling in front of the powerful Buckingham for so long. Couldn’t Andrew Skurliewhitter pull a fast one on him? He’s been my patron—true—but he wasn’t more loyal than Buckingham was to him; and he can’t be my patron anymore since he’s heading to Scotland soon. I’m glad about that—I hate him, and I fear him. He knows too many of my secrets—I know too many of his. But, no—no—no—I shouldn't even try, there’s no way to outsmart him. Well, Willie, what time is it?”

“Ele'en hours just chappit, sir.”

"Eleven hours just passed, sir."

“Go to your desk without, child,” said the scrivener. “What to do next—I shall lose the old Earl's fair business, and, what is worse, his son's foul practice. Old Heriot looks too close into business to permit me more than the paltry and ordinary dues. The Whitefriars business was profitable, but it has become unsafe ever since—pah!—what brought that in my head just now? I can hardly hold my pen—if men should see me in this way!—Willie,” (calling aloud to the boy,) “a cup of distilled waters—Soh!—now I could face the devil.”

“Go to your desk, kid,” said the scrivener. “What should I do next—I’m going to lose the old Earl's good business, and, even worse, his son's shady dealings. Old Heriot examines the accounts so closely that he won’t let me get more than the meager and standard fees. The Whitefriars job was lucrative, but it’s become risky ever since—ugh!—why am I thinking about that right now? I can barely hold my pen—if anyone saw me like this!—Willie,” (calling out to the boy,) “bring me a cup of distilled water—Ah!—now I could face anything.”

He spoke the last words aloud, and close by the door of the apartment, which was suddenly opened by Richie Moniplies, followed by two gentlemen, and attended by two porters bearing money-bags. “If ye can face the devil, Maister Skurliewhitter,” said Richie, “ye will be the less likely to turn your back on a sack or twa o' siller, which I have ta'en the freedom to bring you. Sathanas and Mammon are near akin.” The porters, at the same time, ranged their load on the floor.

He said the last words out loud, and just then, the apartment door swung open, revealing Richie Moniplies, followed by two gentlemen and two porters carrying money bags. “If you can handle the devil, Master Skurliewhitter,” said Richie, “then you're less likely to turn your back on a sack or two of silver, which I took the liberty of bringing you. Satan and Mammon are closely related.” At the same time, the porters set their load down on the floor.

“I—I,”—stammered the surprised scrivener—“I cannot guess what you mean, sir.”

“I—I,” stammered the surprised writer, “I can’t figure out what you mean, sir.”

“Only that I have brought you the redemption-money on the part of Lord Glenvarloch, in discharge of a certain mortgage over his family inheritance. And here, in good time, comes Master Reginald Lowestoffe, and another honourable gentleman of the Temple, to be witnesses to the transaction.”

“Just that I've brought you the redemption money for Lord Glenvarloch, to settle a mortgage on his family inheritance. And here, right on time, comes Master Reginald Lowestoffe, along with another respectable gentleman from the Temple, to witness the transaction.”

“I—I incline to think,” said the scrivener, “that the term is expired.”

“I—I think,” said the scrivener, “that the term has ended.”

“You will pardon us, Master Scrivener,” said Lowestoffe. “You will not baffle us—it wants three-quarters of noon by every clock in the city.”

“You'll forgive us, Master Scrivener,” said Lowestoffe. “You won’t confuse us—it’s almost three-quarters to noon by every clock in the city.”

“I must have time, gentlemen,” said Andrew, “to examine the gold by tale and weight.”

“I need some time, gentlemen,” Andrew said, “to check the gold by quantity and weight.”

“Do so at your leisure, Master Scrivener,” replied Lowestoffe again. “We have already seen the contents of each sack told and weighed, and we have put our seals on them. There they stand in a row, twenty in number, each containing three hundred yellow-hammers—we are witnesses to the lawful tender.”

“Do it when you’re ready, Master Scrivener,” Lowestoffe replied again. “We’ve already counted and weighed the contents of each sack, and we’ve put our seals on them. They’re lined up in a row, twenty in total, each with three hundred yellow-hammers—we’re witnesses to the legal tender.”

“Gentlemen,” said the scrivener, “this security now belongs to a mighty lord. I pray you, abate your haste, and let me send for Lord Dalgarno,—or rather I will run for him myself.”

“Gentlemen,” said the scrivener, “this security now belongs to a powerful lord. I ask you to slow down and let me call for Lord Dalgarno—or I’ll go fetch him myself.”

So saying, he took up his hat; but Lowestoffe called out,—“Friend Moniplies, keep the door fast, an thou be'st a man! he seeks but to put off the time.—In plain terms, Andrew, you may send for the devil, if you will, who is the mightiest lord of my acquaintance, but from hence you stir not till you have answered our proposition, by rejecting or accepting the redemption-money fairly tendered—there it lies—take it, or leave it, as you will. I have skill enough to know that the law is mightier than any lord in Britain—I have learned so much at the Temple, if I have learned nothing else. And see that you trifle not with it, lest it make your long ears an inch shorter, Master Skurliewhitter.”

So saying, he picked up his hat; but Lowestoffe shouted, “Hey, Moniplies, keep the door closed if you’re a man! He’s just trying to waste our time. —Bottom line, Andrew, you can call on the devil if you want, who is the strongest lord I know, but you’re not leaving until you respond to our offer, whether you accept or reject the redemption money we’ve offered—there it is—take it or leave it, it’s up to you. I know well enough that the law is stronger than any lord in Britain—I’ve learned that much at the Temple, if nothing else. And don’t mess with it, or you might find your long ears a little shorter, Master Skurliewhitter.”

“Nay, gentlemen, if you threaten me,” said the scrivener, “I cannot resist compulsion.”

“Nah, guys, if you threaten me,” said the scrivener, “I can’t stand up to pressure.”

“No threats—no threats at all, my little Andrew,” said Lowestoffe; “a little friendly advice only—forget not, honest Andrew, I have seen you in Alsatia.”

“No threats—no threats at all, my little Andrew,” said Lowestoffe; “just some friendly advice—don’t forget, honest Andrew, I’ve seen you in Alsatia.”

Without answering a single word, the scrivener sat down, and drew in proper form a full receipt for the money proffered.

Without saying a word, the scrivener sat down and neatly wrote out a full receipt for the money offered.

“I take it on your report, Master Lowestoffe,” he said; “I hope you will remember I have insisted neither upon weight nor tale—I have been civil—if there is deficiency I shall come to loss.”

“I’ll go by your report, Master Lowestoffe,” he said; “I hope you’ll remember I’ve stressed that I’m not concerned with weight or quantity—I’ve been polite—if there’s a shortfall, I’ll end up at a loss.”

“Fillip his nose with a gold-piece, Richie,” quoth the Templar. “Take up the papers, and now wend we merrily to dine thou wot'st where.”

“Stuff his nose with a gold coin, Richie,” said the Templar. “Pick up the papers, and now let's happily go to dinner where you know.”

“If I might choose,” said Richie, “it should not be at yonder roguish ordinary; but as it is your pleasure, gentlemen, the treat shall be given wheresoever you will have it.”

“If I could choose,” said Richie, “it shouldn’t be at that shady tavern; but since it’s up to you, gentlemen, we’ll have the celebration wherever you want it.”

“At the ordinary,” said the one Templar.

“At the regular place,” said the one Templar.

“At Beaujeu's,” said the other; “it is the only house in London for neat wines, nimble drawers, choice dishes, and—”

“At Beaujeu's,” said the other; “it’s the only place in London for fine wines, quick service, great dishes, and—”

“And high charges,” quoth Richie Moniplies. “But, as I said before, gentlemen, ye have a right to command me in this thing, having so frankly rendered me your service in this small matter of business, without other stipulation than that of a slight banquet.”

“And high fees,” said Richie Moniplies. “But, as I mentioned before, gentlemen, you have the right to ask me for this, since you’ve so generously helped me with this little business matter, with no other agreement than having a small dinner.”

The latter part of this discourse passed in the street, where, immediately afterwards, they met Lord Dalgarno. He appeared in haste, touched his hat slightly to Master Lowestoffe, who returned his reverence with the same negligence, and walked slowly on with his companion, while Lord Dalgarno stopped Richie Moniplies with a commanding sign, which the instinct of education compelled Moniplies, though indignant, to obey.

The last part of this conversation took place in the street, where they soon ran into Lord Dalgarno. He seemed in a hurry and gave a slight nod to Master Lowestoffe, who nonchalantly returned the gesture and continued walking slowly with his friend, while Lord Dalgarno halted Richie Moniplies with a firm signal, which Moniplies, despite feeling angry, instinctively obeyed due to his upbringing.

“Whom do you now follow, sirrah?” demanded the noble.

“Who are you following now, servant?” asked the noble.

“Whomsoever goeth before me, my lord,” answered Moniplies.

“Whoever goes before me, my lord,” answered Moniplies.

“No sauciness, you knave—I desire to know if you still serve Nigel Olifaunt?” said Dalgarno.

“No sass, you fool—I want to know if you still work for Nigel Olifaunt?” said Dalgarno.

“I am friend to the noble Lord Glenvarloch,” answered Moniplies, with dignity.

“I am a friend of the noble Lord Glenvarloch,” Moniplies replied, with dignity.

“True,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “that noble lord has sunk to seek friends among lackeys—Nevertheless,—hark thee hither,—nevertheless, if he be of the same mind as when we last met, thou mayst show him, that, on to-morrow, at four afternoon, I shall pass northward by Enfield Chase—I will be slenderly attended, as I design to send my train through Barnet. It is my purpose to ride an easy pace through the forest, and to linger a while by Camlet Moat—he knows the place; and, if he be aught but an Alsatian bully, will think it fitter for some purposes than the Park. He is, I understand, at liberty, or shortly to be so. If he fail me at the place nominated, he must seek me in Scotland, where he will find me possessed of his father's estate and lands.”

“True,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “that noble lord has lowered himself to make friends with servants—Nevertheless, listen here,—nevertheless, if he feels the same way as when we last met, you can let him know that tomorrow at four in the afternoon, I’ll be heading north by Enfield Chase—I’ll have just a few attendants with me, as I plan to send my group through Barnet. I intend to ride at a leisurely pace through the forest and to stop for a bit by Camlet Moat—he knows the place; and if he’s anything other than a cowardly bully, he’ll realize it’s more suitable for certain matters than the Park. I understand he’s free now, or will be shortly. If he doesn’t show up at the agreed place, he’ll have to look for me in Scotland, where he’ll find me in possession of his father’s estate and lands.”

“Humph!” muttered Richie; “there go twa words to that bargain.”

“Humph!” muttered Richie; “there go two words to that deal.”

He even meditated a joke on the means which he was conscious he possessed of baffling Lord Dalgarno's expectations; but there was something of keen and dangerous excitement in the eyes of the young nobleman, which prompted his discretion for once to rule his vit, and he only answered—

He even considered making a joke about how he knew he could let Lord Dalgarno down; but there was a sharp and risky excitement in the young nobleman's eyes that made him decide to hold back for once, and he just responded—

“God grant your lordship may well brook your new conquest—when you get it. I shall do your errand to my lord—whilk is to say,” he added internally, “he shall never hear a word of it from Richie. I am not the lad to put him in such hazard.”

“May God help you handle your new victory—once you achieve it. I'll deliver your message to my lord—which is to say,” he thought to himself, “he will never hear a word of it from Richie. I'm not the kind of guy to put him in that kind of trouble.”

Lord Dalgarno looked at him sharply for a moment, as if to penetrate the meaning of the dry ironical tone, which, in spite of Richie's awe, mingled with his answer, and then waved his hand, in signal he should pass on. He himself walked slowly till the trio were out of sight, then turned back with hasty steps to the door of the scrivener, which he had passed in his progress, knocked, and was admitted.

Lord Dalgarno gave him a keen look for a moment, trying to understand the meaning behind the dry, ironic tone that, despite Richie's apprehension, was mixed into his response, and then waved his hand to signal him to move on. He walked slowly until the three were out of sight, then quickly turned back to the scrivener's door he had passed earlier, knocked, and was let in.

Lord Dalgarno found the man of law with the money-bags still standing before him; and it escaped not his penetrating glance, that Skurliewhitter was disconcerted and alarmed at his approach.

Lord Dalgarno found the lawyer still standing in front of him with the money bags, and it didn't escape his sharp eye that Skurliewhitter looked uneasy and nervous at his approach.

“How now, man,” he said; “what! hast thou not a word of oily compliment to me on my happy marriage?—not a word of most philosophical consolation on my disgrace at Court?—Or has my mien, as a wittol and discarded favourite, the properties of the Gorgon's head, the turbatae Palladis arma, as Majesty might say?”

“How are you, man,” he said; “what! Don’t you have a word of flattering praise for my happy marriage?—not a word of wise consolation about my disgrace at Court?—Or does my look, as a rejected favorite, have the properties of the Gorgon's head, the turbatae Palladis arma, as Majesty might put it?”

“My lord, I am glad—my lord, I am sorry,”—answered the trembling scrivener, who, aware of the vivacity of Lord Dalgarno's temper, dreaded the consequence of the communication he had to make to him.

“My lord, I’m glad—my lord, I’m sorry,” replied the trembling scrivener, who, knowing how unpredictable Lord Dalgarno's temper could be, feared the outcome of the message he had to deliver.

“Glad and sorry!” answered Lord Dalgarno. “That is blowing hot and cold, with a witness. Hark ye, you picture of petty-larceny personified—if you are sorry I am a cuckold, remember I am only mine own, you knave—there is too little blood in her cheeks to have sent her astray elsewhere. Well, I will bear mine antler'd honours as I may—gold shall gild them; and for my disgrace, revenge shall sweeten it. Ay, revenge—and there strikes the happy hour!”

“Happy and upset!” replied Lord Dalgarno. “That’s being wishy-washy for sure. Listen, you walking embodiment of petty theft—if you feel bad that I’m a cuckold, just remember that I’m the only one I belong to, you scoundrel—there’s not enough color in her cheeks to have led her to stray elsewhere. Well, I’ll wear my antlers as best I can—gold will decorate them; and for my shame, revenge will make it sweeter. Yes, revenge—and here comes that perfect moment!”

The hour of noon was accordingly heard to peal from Saint Dunstan's. “Well banged, brave hammers!” said Lord Dalgarno, in triumph.—“The estate and lands of Glenvarloch are crushed beneath these clanging blows. If my steel to-morrow prove but as true as your iron maces to-day, the poor landless lord will little miss what your peal hath cut him out from.—The papers—the papers, thou varlet! I am to-morrow Northward, ho! At four, afternoon, I am bound to be at Camlet Moat, in the Enfield Chase. To-night most of my retinue set forward. The papers!—Come, dispatch.”

The hour of noon rang out from Saint Dunstan's. “Well done, brave hammers!” said Lord Dalgarno, triumphantly. “The estate and lands of Glenvarloch are crushed under these loud strikes. If my sword tomorrow proves as reliable as your iron maces today, the poor landless lord won’t miss what your ringing has taken from him. The papers—the papers, you scoundrel! I’m heading North tomorrow! At four in the afternoon, I need to be at Camlet Moat in Enfield Chase. Tonight, most of my followers will set out. The papers!—Come on, hurry up.”

“My lord, the—the papers of the Glenvarloch mortgage—I—I have them not.”

“My lord, I—I don’t have the papers for the Glenvarloch mortgage.”

“Have them not!” echoed Lord Dalgarno,—“Hast thou sent them to my lodgings, thou varlet? Did I not say I was coming hither?—What mean you by pointing to that money? What villainy have you done for it? It is too large to be come honestly by.”

“Don’t have them!” Lord Dalgarno shouted, “Did you send them to my place, you scoundrel? Didn’t I say I was coming here?—What do you mean by pointing to that money? What kind of wrongdoing did you do for it? It’s too much to have been earned honestly.”

“Your lordship knows best,” answered the scrivener, in great perturbation. “The gold is your own. It is—it is—”

“Your lordship knows best,” replied the scrivener, clearly agitated. “The gold is yours. It is—it is—”

“Not the redemption-money of the Glenvarloch estate!” said Dalgarno. “Dare not say it is, or I will, upon the spot, divorce your pettifogging soul from your carrion carcass!” So saying, he seized the scrivener by the collar, and shook him so vehemently, that he tore it from the cassock.

“Not the redemption money for the Glenvarloch estate!” Dalgarno exclaimed. “Don’t even say that, or I will, right here, separate your petty soul from your worthless body!” With that, he grabbed the scrivener by the collar and shook him so hard that it ripped right off his cassock.

“My lord, I must call for help,” said the trembling caitiff, who felt at that moment all the bitterness of the mortal agony—“It was the law's act, not mine. What could I do?”

“My lord, I need to call for help,” said the trembling wretch, who in that moment felt all the bitterness of mortal pain—“It was the law's doing, not mine. What could I do?”

“Dost ask?—why, thou snivelling dribblet of damnation, were all thy oaths, tricks, and lies spent? or do you hold yourself too good to utter them in my service? Thou shouldst have lied, cozened, out-sworn truth itself, rather than stood betwixt me and my revenge! But mark me,” he continued; “I know more of your pranks than would hang thee. A line from me to the Attorney-General, and thou art sped.”

“Do you ask?—why, you pathetic wretch, were all your promises, tricks, and lies used up? Or do you think you're too good to say them in my service? You should have lied, cheated, and outsworn even the truth itself, rather than stand between me and my revenge! But listen,” he continued; “I know more about your schemes than would get you hanged. A quick note from me to the Attorney-General, and you're done for.”

“What would you have me to do, my lord?” said the scrivener. “All that art and law can accomplish, I will try.”

“What do you want me to do, my lord?” said the scrivener. “I will do everything that art and law can achieve.”

“Ah, are you converted? do so, or pity of your life!” said the lord; “and remember I never fail my word.—Then keep that accursed gold,” he continued. “Or, stay, I will not trust you—send me this gold home presently to my lodging. I will still forward to Scotland, and it shall go hard but that I hold out Glenvarloch Castle against the owner, by means of the ammunition he has himself furnished. Thou art ready to serve me?” The scrivener professed the most implicit obedience.

“Ah, have you changed your mind? Do it, or feel sorry for your life!” said the lord; “and remember, I always keep my promises.—Then keep that cursed gold,” he continued. “Or, wait, I don’t trust you—send this gold back to my place right now. I will still head to Scotland, and I’ll make sure to hold onto Glenvarloch Castle against the owner, using the supplies he provided. Are you ready to serve me?” The scrivener expressed complete compliance.

“Then remember, the hour was past ere payment was tendered—and see thou hast witnesses of trusty memory to prove that point.”

“Then remember, it was after the hour when the payment was made—and make sure you have reliable witnesses to confirm that.”

“Tush, my lord, I will do more,” said Andrew, reviving—“I will prove that Lord Glenvarloch's friends threatened, swaggered, and drew swords on me.—Did your lordship think I was ungrateful enough to have suffered them to prejudice your lordship, save that they had bare swords at my throat?”

“Tush, my lord, I will do more,” said Andrew, coming back to life—“I will show that Lord Glenvarloch's friends threatened me, acted all tough, and even drew their swords on me. Did you think I was ungrateful enough to let them sway your opinion of me, except for the fact that they had their swords at my throat?”

“Enough said,” replied Dalgarno; “you are perfect—mind that you continue so, as you would avoid my fury. I leave my page below—get porters, and let them follow me instantly with the gold.”

“Enough said,” replied Dalgarno; “you’re perfect—make sure to stay that way if you want to avoid my anger. I’ll leave my page here—get porters, and have them follow me immediately with the gold.”

So saying, Lord Dalgarno left the scrivener's habitation.

So saying, Lord Dalgarno left the scribe's place.

Skurliewhitter, having dispatched his boy to get porters of trust for transporting the money, remained alone and in dismay, meditating by what means he could shake himself free of the vindictive and ferocious nobleman, who possessed at once a dangerous knowledge of his character, and the power of exposing him, where exposure would be ruin. He had indeed acquiesced in the plan, rapidly sketched, for obtaining possession of the ransomed estate, but his experience foresaw that this would be impossible; while, on the other hand, he could not anticipate the various consequences of Lord Dalgarno's resentment, without fears, from which his sordid soul recoiled. To be in the power, and subject both to the humours and the extortions of a spendthrift young lord, just when his industry had shaped out the means of fortune,—it was the most cruel trick which fate could have played the incipient usurer.

Skurliewhitter, having sent his boy to find trustworthy porters to transport the money, was left alone and worried, thinking about how he could free himself from the vengeful and ruthless nobleman who had a dangerous understanding of his character and the power to expose him, which would lead to total ruin. He had indeed agreed to the quickly sketched plan for taking over the ransomed estate, but he knew from experience that this would be impossible; meanwhile, he couldn’t foresee the various consequences of Lord Dalgarno's anger without feeling fear, which made his greedy soul recoil. Being at the mercy of a reckless young lord, just as he had worked hard to find a path to fortune, was the cruelest trick fate could have played on an aspiring usurer.

While the scrivener was in this fit of anxious anticipation, one knocked at the door of the apartment; and, being desired to enter, appeared in the coarse riding-cloak of uncut Wiltshire cloth, fastened by a broad leather belt and brass buckle, which was then generally worn by graziers and countrymen. Skurliewhitter, believing he saw in his visitor a country client who might prove profitable, had opened his mouth to request him to be seated, when the stranger, throwing back his frieze hood which he had drawn over his face, showed the scrivener features well imprinted in his recollection, but which he never saw without a disposition to swoon.

While the scrivener was caught up in this nervous anticipation, someone knocked on the door of the apartment; and when invited to come in, a person appeared wearing a rough riding cloak made of uncut Wiltshire fabric, secured by a wide leather belt and brass buckle, which was then commonly worn by farmers and country folk. Skurliewhitter, thinking he recognized the visitor as a potential country client who might be profitable, was about to ask him to take a seat when the stranger, pulling back his frieze hood that he had drawn over his face, revealed a set of features that were well imprinted in the scrivener's memory, but that he always looked at with a tendency to faint.

“Is it you?” he said, faintly, as the stranger replaced the hood which concealed his features.

“Is it you?” he said softly as the stranger pulled the hood back over his face.

“Who else should it be?” said his visitor.

“Who else could it be?” said his visitor.

“Thou son of parchment, got betwixt the inkhorn And the stuff'd process-bag—that mayest call The pen thy father, and the ink thy mother,

“Hey, you son of paper, caught between the ink pot and the stuffed process bag—that can call the pen your father and the ink your mother,

 The wax thy brother, and the sand thy sister
 And the good pillory thy cousin allied—
 Rise, and do reverence unto me, thy better!”
 
The wax your brother, and the sand your sister  
And the good pillory your cousin allied—  
Rise, and show respect to me, your superior!

“Not yet down to the country,” said the scrivener, “after every warning? Do not think your grazier's cloak will bear you out, captain—no, nor your scraps of stage-plays.”

“Not even out to the country yet,” said the scrivener, “after all this warning? Don’t think your grazier's cloak will protect you, captain—no, and your bits of stage plays won’t help either.”

“Why, what would you have me to do?” said the captain—“Would you have me starve? If I am to fly, you must eke my wings with a few feathers. You can spare them, I think.”

“Why, what do you want me to do?” said the captain. “Do you want me to starve? If I’m going to take off, you need to give my wings a few feathers. I think you can spare them.”

“You had means already—you have had ten pieces—What is become of them?”

“You already had resources—you had ten pieces—What happened to them?”

“Gone,” answered Captain Colepepper—“Gone, no matter where—I had a mind to bite, and I was bitten, that's all—I think my hand shook at the thought of t'other night's work, for I trowled the doctors like a very baby.”

“Gone,” replied Captain Colepepper—“Gone, no matter where—I felt like taking a risk, and I got burned, that's all—I think my hand trembled at the thought of what happened the other night, because I treated the doctors like a complete novice.”

“And you have lost all, then?—Well, take this and be gone,” said the scrivener.

“And you’ve lost everything, then?—Well, take this and get out of here,” said the scrivener.

“What, two poor smelts! Marry, plague of your bounty!—But remember, you are as deep in as I.”

“What, two poor smelts! Seriously, what a mess your generosity has caused!—But keep in mind, you’re just as caught up in this as I am.”

“Not so, by Heaven!” answered the scrivener; “I only thought of easing the old man of some papers and a trifle of his gold, and you took his life.”

“Not so, by Heaven!” replied the scrivener; “I only meant to relieve the old man of some papers and a bit of his gold, and you ended his life.”

“Were he living,” answered Colepepper, “he would rather have lost it than his money.—But that is not the question, Master Skurliewhitter—you undid the private bolts of the window when you visited him about some affairs on the day ere he died—so satisfy yourself, that, if I am taken, I will not swing alone. Pity Jack Hempsfield is dead, it spoils the old catch,

“Had he been alive,” Colepepper replied, “he would have preferred to lose it rather than his money.—But that’s not the issue, Master Skurliewhitter—you unlocked the private bolts of the window when you saw him regarding some matters the day before he died—so rest assured, if I’m caught, I won’t be alone. It's a shame Jack Hempsfield is dead; it ruins the old trick.

     'And three merry men, and three merry men,
      And three merry men are we,
      As ever did sing three parts in a string,
      All under the triple tree.'”
 
     'And three happy guys, and three happy guys,  
      And three happy guys are we,  
      As ever did sing three parts in a string,  
      All under the triple tree.'”

“For God's sake, speak lower,” said the scrivener; “is this a place or time to make your midnight catches heard?—But how much will serve your turn? I tell you I am but ill provided.”

“For God’s sake, speak quieter,” said the scrivener; “is this really the time or place to make your late-night catches known?—But how much will you need? I’m telling you, I’m not well equipped.”

“You tell me a lie, then,” said the bully—“a most palpable and gross lie.—How much, d'ye say, will serve my turn? Why, one of these bags will do for the present.”

“You're lying to me then,” said the bully. “That's a clear and obvious lie. How much do you think I need? Well, one of these bags will be enough for now.”

“I swear to you that these bags of money are not at my disposal.”

“I promise you that I don't have access to these bags of money.”

“Not honestly, perhaps,” said the captain, “but that makes little difference betwixt us.”

“Not really, maybe,” said the captain, “but that doesn't change much between us.”

“I swear to you,” continued the scrivener “they are in no way at my disposal—they have been delivered to me by tale—I am to pay them over to Lord Dalgarno, whose boy waits for them, and I could not skelder one piece out of them, without risk of hue and cry.”

“I swear to you,” continued the scrivener, “they're not mine to do with as I please—they were given to me by tale—I have to hand them over to Lord Dalgarno, whose boy is waiting for them, and I couldn't take a single piece without risking a big commotion.”

“Can you not put off the delivery?” said the bravo, his huge hand still fumbling with one of the bags, as if his fingers longed to close on it.

“Can’t you deliver it sooner?” said the tough guy, his large hand still struggling with one of the bags, as if his fingers were eager to grab it.

“Impossible,” said the scrivener, “he sets forward to Scotland to-morrow.”

“Impossible,” said the writer, “he's leaving for Scotland tomorrow.”

“Ay!” said the bully, after a moment's thought—“Travels he the north road with such a charge?”

“Ay!” said the bully, after a moment of thought—“Is he taking the north road with such a load?”

“He is well accompanied,” added the scrivener; “but yet—”

“He’s got good company,” added the scrivener; “but still—”

“But yet—but what?” said the bravo.

“But still—but what?” said the tough guy.

“Nay, I meant nothing,” said the scrivener.

“Nah, I didn’t mean anything,” said the writer.

“Thou didst—thou hadst the wind of some good thing,” replied Colepepper; “I saw thee pause like a setting dog. Thou wilt say as little, and make as sure a sign, as a well-bred spaniel.”

"You did— you had a hint of something good," replied Colepepper; "I saw you stop like a pointing dog. You’ll say just as little and give as clear a signal as a well-trained spaniel."

“All I meant to say, captain, was, that his servants go by Barnet, and he himself, with his page, pass through Enfield Chase; and he spoke to me yesterday of riding a soft pace.”

“All I meant to say, Captain, was that his servants go by Barnet, and he himself, with his page, passed through Enfield Chase; and he talked to me yesterday about riding at an easy pace.”

“Aha!—Comest thou to me there, my boy?”

“Aha!—Are you coming over here to me, my boy?”

“And of resting”—continued the scrivener,—“resting a space at Camlet Moat.”

“And of resting”—continued the scrivener—“taking a break at Camlet Moat.”

“Why, this is better than cock-fighting!” said the captain.

“Wow, this is way better than cock-fighting!” said the captain.

“I see not how it can advantage you, captain,” said the scrivener. “But, however, they cannot ride fast, for his page rides the sumpter-horse, which carries all that weight,” pointing to the money on the table. “Lord Dalgarno looks sharp to the world's gear.”

“I don't see how it can help you, captain,” said the scrivener. “But, they can’t ride quickly because his page is on the pack horse, which is carrying all that weight,” pointing to the money on the table. “Lord Dalgarno is keen on the world’s business.”

“That horse will be obliged to those who may ease him of his burden,” said the bravo; “and egad, he may be met with.—He hath still that page—that same Lutin—that goblin? Well, the boy hath set game for me ere now. I will be revenged, too, for I owe him a grudge for an old score at the ordinary. Let me see—Black Feltham, and Dick Shakebag—we shall want a fourth—I love to make sure, and the booty will stand parting, besides what I can bucket them out of. Well, scrivener, lend me two pieces.—Bravely done—nobly imparted! Give ye good-den.” And wrapping his disguise closer around him, away he went.

“That horse will owe a favor to anyone who helps him carry his load,” said the thug; “and by the way, he might just be found. He still has that page— that same Lutin— that little trickster? Well, that kid has set me up before. I’m going to get my revenge since I have some beef with him from back at the tavern. Let me think—Black Feltham, and Dick Shakebag—we’ll need a fourth; I like to be certain, and there will be plenty to split, plus what I can take from them. Alright, writer, lend me two coins. —Well done—very generous! Good evening to you.” And wrapping his disguise tighter around him, he left.

When he had left the room, the scrivener wrung his hands, and exclaimed, “More blood—more blood! I thought to have had done with it, but this time there was no fault with me—none—and then I shall have all the advantage. If this ruffian falls, there is truce with his tugs at my purse-strings; and if Lord Dalgarno dies—as is most likely, for though as much afraid of cold steel as a debtor of a dun, this fellow is a deadly shot from behind a bush,—then am I in a thousand ways safe—safe—safe.”

When he left the room, the scrivener wrung his hands and exclaimed, “More blood—more blood! I thought I was done with this, but this time it wasn't my fault—none at all—and then I’ll have all the advantages. If this thug falls, there’s peace from his pulling at my wallet; and if Lord Dalgarno dies—as is most likely, since he’s as scared of a blade as a debtor is of a bill collector, this guy is a deadly shot from behind a bush—then I’m safe in a thousand ways—safe—safe—safe.”

We willingly drop the curtain over him and his reflections.

We willingly close the curtain on him and his thoughts.










CHAPTER XXXV

  We are not worst at once—the course of evil
  Begins so slowly, and from such slight source,
  An infant's hand might stem its breach with clay;
  But let the stream get deeper, and philosophy—
  Ay, and religion too—shall strive in vain
  To turn the headlong torrent.
                            Old Play.
  We're not at our worst all at once—the path of evil
  Starts off slowly, and from such small beginnings,
  A child's hand could stop its flow with clay;
  But once the water gets deeper, both philosophy—
  And religion too—will struggle in vain
  To redirect the rushing current.
                            Old Play.

The Templars had been regaled by our friend Richie Moniplies in a private chamber at Beaujeu's, where he might be considered as good company; for he had exchanged his serving-man's cloak and jerkin for a grave yet handsome suit of clothes, in the fashion of the times, but such as might have befitted an older man than himself. He had positively declined presenting himself at the ordinary, a point to which his companions were very desirous to have brought him, for it will be easily believed that such wags as Lowestoffe and his companion were not indisposed to a little merriment at the expense of the raw and pedantic Scotsman; besides the chance of easing him of a few pieces, of which he appeared to have acquired considerable command. But not even a succession of measures of sparkling sack, in which the little brilliant atoms circulated like motes in the sun's rays, had the least effect on Richie's sense of decorum. He retained the gravity of a judge, even while he drank like a fish, partly from his own natural inclination to good liquor, partly in the way of good fellowship towards his guests. When the wine began to make some innovation on their heads, Master Lowestoffe, tired, perhaps, of the humours of Richie, who began to become yet more stoically contradictory and dogmatical than even in the earlier part of the entertainment, proposed to his friend to break up their debauch and join the gamesters.

The Templars had been entertained by our friend Richie Moniplies in a private room at Beaujeu's, where he was considered good company; he had traded his serving-man's cloak and jerkin for a smart yet formal outfit, stylish for the time but more suitable for someone older than him. He had firmly refused to join his friends in the public tavern, which his companions really wanted him to do, as it was easy to believe that jokesters like Lowestoffe and his friend were eager for some fun at the expense of the naive and uptight Scotsman; plus, there was a chance to relieve him of some of the coins he seemed to have quite a bit of. Yet, even after a round of sparkling sack, with the little sparkling bubbles dancing like dust in sunbeams, Richie remained committed to his sense of propriety. He kept the seriousness of a judge, even while drinking heavily, partly due to his natural taste for good liquor and partly out of camaraderie with his guests. When the wine started to affect their heads, Master Lowestoffe, perhaps tired of Richie's increasingly stoically contradicting and dogmatic behavior, suggested to his friend that they wrap up their drinking session and join the gamblers.

The drawer was called accordingly, and Richie discharged the reckoning of the party, with a generous remuneration to the attendants, which was received with cap and knee, and many assurances of—“Kindly welcome, gentlemen.”

The drawer was called over, and Richie settled up the bill for the party, giving a good tip to the staff, which was met with bows and gratitude, along with many assurances of—“Kindly welcome, gentlemen.”

“I grieve we should part so soon, gentlemen,” said Richie to his companions,—“and I would you had cracked another quart ere you went, or stayed to take some slight matter of supper, and a glass of Rhenish. I thank you, however, for having graced my poor collation thus far; and I commend you to fortune, in your own courses, for the ordinary neither was, is, nor shall be, an element of mine.”

“I’m really sad we have to leave so soon, guys,” said Richie to his friends, “and I wish you had shared another quart before you went or stayed for a little dinner and a glass of Rhenish. I appreciate you making my humble meal more enjoyable, and I wish you good luck in whatever you choose to do, as the ordinary has never been my thing.”

“Fare thee well, then,” said Lowestoffe, “most sapient and sententious Master Moniplies. May you soon have another mortgage to redeem, and may I be there to witness it; and may you play the good fellow, as heartily as you have done this day.”

“Farewell, then,” said Lowestoffe, “most wise and thoughtful Master Moniplies. I hope you soon have another mortgage to pay off, and may I be there to see it; and may you be as generous as you have been today.”

“Nay, gentlemen, it is merely of your grace to say so—but, if you would but hear me speak a few words of admonition respecting this wicked ordinary—”

“Naw, gentlemen, it's just your kindness to say that—but, if you would just let me share a few words of warning about this terrible place—”

“Reserve the lesson, most honourable Richie,” said Lowestoffe, “until I have lost all my money,” showing, at the same time, a purse indifferently well provided, “and then the lecture is likely to have some weight.”

“Save the lesson, most honorable Richie,” said Lowestoffe, “until I’ve lost all my money,” showing, at the same time, a purse that was fairly well filled, “and then the lecture will probably have some impact.”

“And keep my share of it, Richie,” said the other Templar, showing an almost empty purse, in his turn, “till this be full again, and then I will promise to hear you with some patience.”

“And keep my share of it, Richie,” said the other Templar, showing an almost empty wallet. “Hold onto it until this is full again, and then I promise I’ll listen to you with some patience.”

“Ay, ay, gallants,” said Richie, “the full and the empty gang a' ae gate, and that is a grey one—but the time will come.”

“Ay, ay, guys,” said Richie, “the full and the empty go the same way, and that’s a dull one—but the time will come.”

“Nay, it is come already,” said Lowestoffe; “they have set out the hazard table. Since you will peremptorily not go with us, why, farewell, Richie.”

“Nah, it’s already happening,” said Lowestoffe; “they’ve set up the gaming table. Since you absolutely won’t join us, well, goodbye, Richie.”

“And farewell, gentlemen,” said Richie, and left the house, into which they had returned.

“And goodbye, guys,” said Richie, and left the house they had just returned to.

Moniplies was not many steps from the door, when a person, whom, lost in his reflections on gaming, ordinaries, and the manners of the age, he had not observed, and who had been as negligent on his part, ran full against him; and, when Richie desired to know whether he meant “ony incivility,” replied by a curse on Scotland, and all that belonged to it. A less round reflection on his country would, at any time, have provoked Richie, but more especially when he had a double quart of Canary and better in his pate. He was about to give a very rough answer, and to second his word by action, when a closer view of his antagonist changed his purpose.

Moniplies was just a few steps from the door when he bumped into someone he hadn’t noticed, lost in his thoughts about gaming, social gatherings, and the ways of the world. The other person was equally distracted. When Richie asked him if he meant any “rudeness,” the man responded with a curse on Scotland and everything associated with it. Normally, such a harsh comment about his country would have angered Richie, but it was especially infuriating since he had a bit too much wine in him. He was ready to respond with some harsh words and maybe get physical, but taking a closer look at his opponent made him rethink his decision.

“You are the vera lad in the warld,” said Richie, “whom I most wished to meet.”

“You're the real guy in the world,” said Richie, “that I've always wanted to meet.”

“And you,” answered the stranger, “or any of your beggarly countrymen, are the last sight I should ever wish to see. You Scots are ever fair and false, and an honest man cannot thrive within eyeshot of you.”

“And you,” replied the stranger, “or any of your poor countrymen, are the last sight I would ever want to see. You Scots are always charming and deceptive, and an honest person can’t prosper with you around.”

“As to our poverty, friend,” replied Richie, “that is as Heaven pleases; but touching our falset, I'll prove to you that a Scotsman bears as leal and true a heart to his friend as ever beat in English doublet.”

“As for our poverty, friend,” replied Richie, “that's up to Heaven; but regarding our loyalty, I’ll show you that a Scotsman has as loyal and true a heart for his friend as anyone in an English coat.”

“I care not whether he does or not,” said the gallant. “Let me go—why keep you hold of my cloak? Let me go, or I will thrust you into the kennel.”

“I don't care whether he does or not,” said the brave one. “Let me go—why are you holding onto my cloak? Let me go, or I will throw you into the gutter.”

“I believe I could forgie ye, for you did me a good turn once, in plucking me out of it,” said the Scot.

“I think I could forgive you since you did me a favor once by pulling me out of it,” said the Scot.

“Beshrew my fingers, then, if they did so,” replied the stranger. “I would your whole country lay there, along with you; and Heaven's curse blight the hand that helped to raise them!—Why do you stop my way?” he added, fiercely.

“Curse my fingers if they did that,” replied the stranger. “I wish your entire country lay there too, along with you; and may Heaven's curse fall on the hand that helped to build them!—Why are you blocking my path?” he added, fiercely.

“Because it is a bad one, Master Jenkin,” said Richie. “Nay, never start about it, man—you see you are known. Alack-a-day! that an honest man's son should live to start at hearing himself called by his own name!” Jenkin struck his brow violently with his clenched fist.

“Because it’s a bad one, Master Jenkin,” said Richie. “No, don’t even begin with it, man—you know you’re recognized. Oh, what a pity! That the son of an honest man should live to flinch at hearing his own name!” Jenkin hit his forehead hard with his clenched fist.

“Come, come,” said Richie, “this passion availeth nothing. Tell me what gate go you?”

“Come on,” said Richie, “this passion is pointless. Which gate are you going to?”

“To the devil!” answered Jin Vin.

“To hell with it!” answered Jin Vin.

“That is a black gate, if you speak according to the letter,” answered Richie; “but if metaphorically, there are worse places in this great city than the Devil Tavern; and I care not if I go thither with you, and bestow a pottle of burnt sack on you—it will correct the crudities of my stomach, and form a gentle preparative for the leg of a cold pullet.”

"That’s a black gate, if you want to be literal," replied Richie; "but if we’re speaking figuratively, there are worse spots in this big city than the Devil Tavern; and I don’t mind going there with you and treating you to a bottle of burnt sack—it’ll settle my stomach and be a nice way to get ready for a cold chicken leg."

“I pray you, in good fashion, to let me go,” said Jenkin. “You may mean me kindly, and I wish you to have no wrong at my hand; but I am in the humour to be dangerous to myself, or any one.”

“I ask you nicely to let me go,” said Jenkin. “You might mean well, and I don’t want to hurt you, but I'm feeling reckless and could be a danger to myself or anyone else.”

“I will abide the risk,” said the Scot, “if you will but come with me; and here is a place convenient, a howff nearer than the Devil, whilk is but an ill-omened drouthy name for a tavern. This other of the Saint Andrew is a quiet place, where I have ta'en my whetter now and then, when I lodged in the neighbourhood of the Temple with Lord Glenvarloch.—What the deil's the matter wi' the man, garr'd him gie sic a spang as that, and almaist brought himself and me on the causeway?”

“I'll take the risk,” said the Scot, “if you just come with me; and here’s a good spot, a hangout closer than the Devil, which is just an ill-fated, thirsty name for a tavern. This other place, the Saint Andrew, is nice and quiet, where I've had my drink now and then when I stayed near the Temple with Lord Glenvarloch. —What the hell's wrong with the guy, made him jump like that and almost brought both of us down onto the street?”

“Do not name that false Scot's name to me,” said Jin Vin, “if you would not have me go mad!—I was happy before I saw him—he has been the cause of all the ill that has befallen me—he has made a knave and a madman of me!”

“Don’t mention that fake Scot's name to me,” Jin Vin said, “unless you want to drive me crazy! I was happy before I saw him—he’s been the reason for all the trouble that’s come my way—he’s turned me into a fool and a madman!”

“If you are a knave,” said Richie, “you have met an officer—if you are daft, you have met a keeper; but a gentle officer and a kind keeper. Look you, my gude friend, there has been twenty things said about this same lord, in which there is no more truth than in the leasings of Mahound. The warst they can say of him is, that he is not always so amenable to good advice as I would pray him, you, and every young man to be. Come wi' me—just come ye wi' me; and, if a little spell of siller and a great deal of excellent counsel can relieve your occasions, all I can say is, you have had the luck to meet one capable of giving you both, and maist willing to bestow them.”

“If you're a scoundrel,” said Richie, “you've run into an officer—if you're foolish, you've met a warden; but a good officer and a kind warden. Listen, my good friend, there have been a ton of things said about this same lord, which hold no more truth than the lies of Mahound. The worst they can say about him is that he's not always open to good advice as I would hope he, you, and every young man would be. Come with me—just come with me; and if a little cash and a lot of excellent advice can help your situation, all I can say is, you’ve been lucky to meet someone who can give you both and is more than willing to share them.”

The pertinacity of the Scot prevailed over the sullenness of Vincent, who was indeed in a state of agitation and incapacity to think for himself, which led him to yield the more readily to the suggestions of another. He suffered himself to be dragged into the small tavern which Richie recommended, and where they soon found themselves seated in a snug niche, with a reeking pottle of burnt sack, and a paper of sugar betwixt them. Pipes and tobacco were also provided, but were only used by Richie, who had adopted the custom of late, as adding considerably to the gravity and importance of his manner, and affording, as it were, a bland and pleasant accompaniment to the words of wisdom which flowed from his tongue. After they had filled their glasses and drank them in silence, Richie repeated the question, whither his guest was going when they met so fortunately.

The persistence of the Scot overcame the gloomy mood of Vincent, who was clearly in a state of agitation and unable to think for himself, which made him more willing to go along with someone else’s suggestions. He allowed himself to be led into the small tavern that Richie recommended, where they soon found themselves seated in a cozy corner, with a steaming bottle of burnt sack and a packet of sugar between them. Pipes and tobacco were also provided, but they were only used by Richie, who had recently taken up the habit, as it added a certain seriousness and importance to his demeanor and offered a soothing background to the wise words that flowed from his mouth. After they filled their glasses and drank in silence, Richie repeated the question of where his guest was headed when they met so fortuitously.

“I told you,” said Jenkin, “I was going to destruction—I mean to the gaming-house. I am resolved to hazard these two or three pieces, to get as much as will pay for a passage with Captain Sharker, whose ship lies at Gravesend, bound for America—and so Eastward, ho!—I met one devil in the way already, who would have tempted me from my purpose, but I spurned him from me—you may be another for what I know.—What degree of damnation do you propose for me,” he added wildly, “and what is the price of it?”

“I told you,” said Jenkin, “I was headed for ruin—I mean to the gambling house. I'm determined to risk these two or three coins to get enough to pay for a ticket with Captain Sharker, whose ship is at Gravesend, headed for America—and then Eastward, ho!—I already encountered one devil on the way who tried to distract me from my goal, but I rejected him—you might be another for all I know. What level of damnation do you have in store for me,” he added wildly, “and how much will it cost?”

“I would have you to know,” answered Richie, “that I deal in no such commodities, whether as buyer or seller. But if you will tell me honestly the cause of your distress, I will do what is in my power to help you out of it,—not being, however, prodigal of promises, until I know the case; as a learned physician only gives advice when he has observed the diagnostics.”

“I want you to know,” Richie replied, “that I don’t deal in those kinds of things, whether buying or selling. But if you honestly share what’s bothering you, I’ll do my best to help you with it—though I won’t make any promises until I fully understand the situation, just like a skilled doctor only gives advice after understanding the symptoms.”

“No one has any thing to do with my affairs,” said the poor lad; and folding his arms on the table, he laid his head upon them, with the sullen dejection of the overburdened lama, when it throws itself down to die in desperation.

“No one has anything to do with my life,” said the poor boy; and folding his arms on the table, he laid his head on them, with the gloomy sadness of an overburdened llama when it collapses in despair.

Richard Moniplies, like most folk who have a good opinion of themselves, was fond of the task of consolation, which at once displayed his superiority, (for the consoler is necessarily, for the time at least, superior to the afflicted person,) and indulged his love of talking. He inflicted on the poor penitenta harangue of pitiless length, stuffed full of the usual topics of the mutability of human affairs—the eminent advantages of patience under affliction—the folly of grieving for what hath no remedy—the necessity of taking more care for the future, and some gentle rebukes on account of the past, which acid he threw in to assist in subduing the patient's obstinacy, as Hannibal used vinegar in cutting his way through rocks. It was not in human nature to endure this flood of commonplace eloquence in silence; and Jin Vin, whether desirous of stopping the flow of words—crammed thus into his ear, “against the stomach of his sense,” or whether confiding in Richie's protestations of friendship, which the wretched, says Fielding, are ever so ready to believe, or whether merely to give his sorrows vent in words, raised his head, and turning his red and swollen eyes to Richie—

Richard Moniplies, like most people who think highly of themselves, enjoyed the role of providing comfort, which not only showcased his superiority (since the one giving comfort is, at least temporarily, above the person in distress) but also satisfied his love for talking. He subjected the poor penitent to a long, relentless lecture filled with the usual themes about the changing nature of life—the great benefits of being patient during tough times—the foolishness of mourning over things that can't be changed—the need to focus more on the future, along with some gentle reprimands about the past, which he added to help break through the patient's stubbornness, much like Hannibal used vinegar to carve through stone. It is not in human nature to endure this torrent of cliché eloquence quietly; and Jin Vin, whether wanting to stop the deluge of words crammed into his ears “against the stomach of his sense,” or trusting Richie's claims of friendship, which the unfortunate, as Fielding says, are always so quick to believe, or simply wanting to express his grief in words, lifted his head and turned his red, swollen eyes to Richie—

“Cocksbones, man, only hold thy tongue, and thou shall know all about it,—and then all I ask of thee is to shake hands and part.—This Margaret Ramsay,—you have seen her, man?”

"Cocksbones, man, just keep quiet, and you'll find out everything about it,—and all I ask of you is to shake hands and go our separate ways.—This Margaret Ramsay,—you've seen her, right?"

“Once,” said Richie, “once, at Master George Heriot's in Lombard Street—I was in the room when they dined.”

“Once,” said Richie, “once, at Master George Heriot's on Lombard Street—I was in the room when they had dinner.”

“Ay, you helped to shift their trenchers, I remember,” said Jin Vin. “Well, that same pretty girl—and I will uphold her the prettiest betwixt Paul's and the Bar—she is to be wedded to your Lord Glenvarloch, with a pestilence on him!”

“Ay, you helped to change their plates, I remember,” said Jin Vin. “Well, that same pretty girl—and I’ll say she’s the prettiest between Paul's and the Bar—she’s going to marry your Lord Glenvarloch, with a plague on him!”

“That is impossible,” said Richie; “it is raving nonsense, man—they make April gouks of you cockneys every month in the year—The Lord Glenvarloch marry the daughter of a Lonnon mechanic! I would as soon believe the great Prester John would marry the daughter of a Jew packman.”

“That’s impossible,” said Richie; “it’s crazy nonsense, man—they make fools of you Londoners every month of the year—The Lord Glenvarloch marry the daughter of a London mechanic! I might as well believe that the great Prester John would marry the daughter of a Jewish peddler.”

“Hark ye, brother,” said Jin Vin, “I will allow no one to speak disregardfully of the city, for all I am in trouble.”

“Hear me, brother,” said Jin Vin, “I won't let anyone speak disrespectfully about the city, because I’m in trouble.”

“I crave your pardon, man—I meant no offence,” said Richie; “but as to the marriage, it is a thing simply impossible.”

“I’m sorry, man—I didn’t mean to offend you,” said Richie; “but regarding the marriage, it’s just not possible.”

“It is a thing that will take place, though, for the Duke and the Prince, and all of them, have a finger in it; and especially the old fool of a king, that makes her out to be some great woman in her own country, as all the Scots pretend to be, you know.”

“It’s something that’s going to happen because the Duke, the Prince, and all of them are involved in it; especially that old fool of a king who makes her seem like some important woman back in her country, like all the Scots like to claim, you know.”

“Master Vincent, but that you are under affliction,” said the consoler, offended on his part, “I would hear no national reflections.”

“Master Vincent, if it weren't for your suffering,” said the consoler, feeling offended, “I wouldn't listen to any national comments.”

The afflicted youth apologised in his turns, but asserted, “it was true that the king said Peg-a-Ramsay was some far-off sort of noblewoman; and that he had taken a great interest in the match, and had run about like an old gander, cackling about Peggie ever since he had seen her in hose and doublet—and no wonder,” added poor Vin, with a deep sigh.

The troubled young man apologized in his turn but insisted, “It’s true that the king mentioned Peg-a-Ramsay was some distant type of noblewoman; and that he had shown a huge interest in the match, running around like an old gander, bragging about Peggie ever since he saw her in tights and a jacket—and no wonder,” added poor Vin with a heavy sigh.

“This may be all true,” said Richie, “though it sounds strange in my ears; but, man, you should not speak evil of dignities—-Curse not the king, Jenkin; not even in thy bed-chamber—stone walls have ears—no one has a right to know better than I.”

“This might be true,” Richie said, “even if it sounds weird to me; but, dude, you shouldn’t speak ill of those in power—don’t curse the king, Jenkin; not even in your bedroom—walls have ears—no one knows better than I.”

“I do not curse the foolish old man,” said Jenkin; “but I would have them carry things a peg lower.—If they were to see on a plain field thirty thousand such pikes as I have seen in the artillery gardens, it would not be their long-haired courtiers would help them, I trow.” [Footnote: Clarendon remarks, that the importance of the military exercise of the citizens was severely felt by the cavaliers during the civil war, notwithstanding the ridicule that had been showered upon it by the dramatic poets of the day. Nothing less than habitual practice could, at the battle of Newbury and elsewhere, have enabled the Londoners to keep their ranks as pikemen, in spite of the repeated charge of the fiery Prince Rupert and his gallant cavaliers.]

“I don’t blame the foolish old man,” said Jenkin; “but I wish they would lower their standards a bit. If they were to see thirty thousand pikes in an open field like I’ve seen in the artillery gardens, I don’t think their long-haired courtiers would be much help to them.” [Footnote: Clarendon notes that the significance of military training among the citizens was keenly felt by the cavaliers during the civil war, despite the mockery it faced from the playwrights of the time. Only through regular practice could the Londoners maintain their formation as pikemen at the battle of Newbury and elsewhere, despite the continuous charges from the fiery Prince Rupert and his brave cavaliers.]

“Hout tout, man,” said Richie, “mind where the Stewarts come frae, and never think they would want spears or claymores either; but leaving sic matters, whilk are perilous to speak on, I say once more, what is your concern in all this matter?”

“Hear me out, man,” said Richie, “be aware of where the Stewarts come from, and don’t assume they would be interested in spears or claymores either; but setting aside such matters, which are dangerous to talk about, I’ll say again, what’s your concern in all this?”

“What is it?” said Jenkin; “why, have I not fixed on Peg-a-Ramsay to be my true love, from the day I came to her old father's shop? and have I not carried her pattens and her chopines for three years, and borne her prayer-book to church, and brushed the cushion for her to kneel down upon, and did she ever say me nay?”

“What is it?” said Jenkin; “I mean, haven't I chosen Peg-a-Ramsay to be my one true love since the day I entered her father's shop? And haven't I carried her pattens and her chopines for three years, taken her prayer book to church, and brushed the cushion for her to kneel on? Has she ever turned me down?”

“I see no cause she had,” said Richie, “if the like of such small services were all that ye proffered. Ah, man! there are few—very few, either of fools or of wise men, ken how to guide a woman.”

“I don't see any reason she had,” said Richie, “if offering such minor services was all you provided. Ah, man! there are very few—either fools or wise men—who know how to handle a woman.”

“Why, did I not serve her at the risk of my freedom, and very nigh at the risk of my neck? Did she not—no, it was not her neither, but that accursed beldam whom she caused to work upon me—persuade me like a fool to turn myself into a waterman to help my lord, and a plague to him, down to Scotland? and instead of going peaceably down to the ship at Gravesend, did not he rant and bully, and show his pistols, and make me land him at Greenwich, where he played some swaggering pranks, that helped both him and me into the Tower?”

“Why did I serve her at the risk of my freedom, almost even risking my life? Was it her—no, it wasn’t her, but that cursed old hag she got to work on me—who made me, like a fool, turn into a boatman to help my lord, and cause trouble for him, all the way to Scotland? And instead of going quietly down to the ship at Gravesend, didn’t he shout and bully, brandish his guns, and make me drop him off at Greenwich, where he pulled off some cocky stunts that got both of us thrown into the Tower?”

“Aha!” said Richie, throwing more than his usual wisdom into his looks, “so you were the green-jacketed waterman that rowed Lord Glenvarloch down the river?”

“Aha!” said Richie, putting more than his usual smarts into his expression, “so you were the guy in the green jacket who rowed Lord Glenvarloch down the river?”

“The more fool I, that did not souse him in the Thames,” said Jenkin; “and I was the lad who would not confess one word of who and what I was, though they threatened to make me hug the Duke of Exeter's daughter."[Footnote: A particular species of rack, used at the Tower of London, was so called.]

“The more foolish I am for not dunking him in the Thames,” said Jenkin; “and I was the guy who wouldn’t admit a single word about who I was, even though they threatened to make me embrace the Duke of Exeter’s daughter."

“Wha is she, man?” said Richie; “she must be an ill-fashioned piece, if you're so much afraid of her, and she come of such high kin.”

“Who is she, man?” said Richie; “she must be a real piece of work if you're so scared of her, especially coming from such a high family.”

“I mean the rack—the rack, man,” said Jenkin. “Where were you bred that never heard of the Duke of Exeter's daughter? But all the dukes and duchesses in England could have got nothing out of me—so the truth came out some other way, and I was set free.—Home I ran, thinking myself one of the cleverest and happiest fellows in the ward. And she—she—she wanted to pay me with money for all my true service! and she spoke so sweetly and so coldly at the same time, I wished myself in the deepest dungeon of the Tower—I wish they had racked me to death before I heard this Scottishman was to chouse me out of my sweetheart!”

“I mean the rack—the rack, man,” said Jenkin. “Where were you raised that you’ve never heard of the Duke of Exeter’s daughter? But all the dukes and duchesses in England couldn’t have gotten anything out of me—so the truth came out some other way, and I was set free. Home I ran, thinking I was one of the cleverest and happiest guys in the ward. And she—she—she wanted to pay me with money for all my honest service! And she spoke so sweetly and so coldly at the same time, I wished I was in the deepest dungeon of the Tower—I wish they had tortured me to death before I heard this Scottish guy was going to cheat me out of my sweetheart!”

“But are ye sure ye have lost her?” said Richie; “it sounds strange in my ears that my Lord Glenvarloch should marry the daughter of a dealer,—though there are uncouth marriages made in London, I'll allow that.”

“But are you sure you’ve lost her?” said Richie; “it sounds strange to me that my Lord Glenvarloch would marry the daughter of a merchant,—though I admit there are unusual marriages happening in London.”

“Why, I tell you this lord was no sooner clear of the Tower, than he and Master George Heriot comes to make proposals for her, with the king's assent, and what not; and fine fair-day prospects of Court favour for this lord, for he hath not an acre of land.”

“Honestly, I tell you, this lord was barely out of the Tower when he and Master George Heriot came to make proposals for her, with the king's approval and everything; and there were great prospects for this lord in terms of Court favor, even though he doesn’t own a single acre of land.”

“Well, and what said the auld watch-maker?” said Richie; “was he not, as might weel beseem him, ready to loop out of his skin-case for very joy?”

“Well, what did the old watchmaker say?” Richie asked. “Wasn't he, as you would expect, ready to burst out of his skin with joy?”

“He multiplied six figures progressively, and reported the product—then gave his consent.”

“He multiplied six figures one after another and reported the result—then gave his approval.”

“And what did you do?”

"What did you do?"

“I rushed into the streets,” said the poor lad, “with a burning heart and a blood-shot eye—and where did I first find myself, but with that beldam, Mother Suddlechop—and what did she propose to me, but to take the road?”

“I rushed into the streets,” said the poor kid, “with a racing heart and a bloodshot eye—and where did I first find myself, but with that old hag, Mother Suddlechop—and what did she suggest to me, but to take the road?”

“Take the road, man? in what sense?” said Richie.

“Take the road, man? What do you mean?” said Richie.

“Even as a clerk to Saint Nicholas—as a highwayman, like Poins and Peto, and the good fellows in the play—and who think you was to be my captain?—for she had the whole out ere I could speak to her—I fancy she took silence for consent, and thought me damned too unutterably to have one thought left that savoured of redemption—who was to be my captain, but the knave that you saw me cudgel at the ordinary when you waited on Lord Glenvarloch, a cowardly, sharking, thievish bully about town here, whom they call Colepepper.”

“Even when I was a clerk to Saint Nicholas—like a robber, just like Poins and Peto, and the good guys in the play—and who do you think was going to be my captain?—she had the whole thing figured out before I could even say anything to her—I guess she took my silence as agreement and thought I was too messed up to have a single thought that hinted at redemption—who was supposed to be my captain, but that scoundrel you saw me beat up at the tavern when you were with Lord Glenvarloch, a cowardly, shady, thieving bully around here, whom they call Colepepper.”

“Colepepper—umph—I know somewhat of that smaik,” said Richie; “ken ye by ony chance where he may be heard of, Master Jenkin?—ye wad do me a sincere service to tell me.”

“Colepepper—ugh—I know a little about that guy,” said Richie; “do you happen to know where I might find him, Master Jenkin?—you would really be doing me a favor by letting me know.”

“Why, he lives something obscurely,” answered the apprentice, “on account of suspicion of some villainy—I believe that horrid murder in Whitefriars, or some such matter. But I might have heard all about him from Dame Suddlechop, for she spoke of my meeting him at Enfield Chase, with some other good fellows, to do a robbery on one that goes northward with a store of treasure.”

“Why, he lives somewhat hidden away,” replied the apprentice, “because of suspicion of some wrongdoing—I think it’s about that awful murder in Whitefriars, or something like that. But I could have learned all about him from Dame Suddlechop, since she mentioned meeting him at Enfield Chase, with some other guys, to plan a robbery on someone heading north with a lot of money.”

“And you did not agree to this fine project?” said Moniplies.

“And you didn't agree to this great plan?” said Moniplies.

“I cursed her for a hag, and came away about my business,” answered Jenkin.

“I called her a hag and went on with my business,” replied Jenkin.

“Ay, and what said she to that, man? That would startle her,” said Richie.

“Ay, and what did she say to that, man? That would surprise her,” said Richie.

“Not a whit. She laughed, and said she was in jest,” answered Jenkin; “but I know the she-devil's jest from her earnest too well to be taken in that way. But she knows I would never betray her.'

“Not at all. She laughed and said she was just joking,” replied Jenkin; “but I know the difference between her jokes and her serious intentions too well to be fooled like that. But she knows I would never betray her.”

“Betray her! No,” replied Richie; “but are ye in any shape bound to this birkie Peppercull, or Colepepper, or whatever they call him, that ye suld let him do a robbery on the honest gentleman that is travelling to the north, and may be a kindly Scot, for what we know?”

“Betray her? No,” replied Richie; “but are you in any way tied to this guy Peppercull, or Colepepper, or whatever they call him, that you would allow him to rob the honest gentleman who's traveling north, who might be a decent Scot for all we know?”

“Ay—going home with a load of English money,” said Jenkin. “But be he who he will, they may rob the whole world an they list, for I am robbed and ruined.”

“Yeah—going home with a bunch of English money,” said Jenkin. “But no matter who he is, they can steal from everyone if they want, because I am robbed and ruined.”

Richie filled his friend's cup up to the brim, and insisted that he should drink what he called “clean caup out.” “This love,” he said, “is but a bairnly matter for a brisk young fellow like yourself, Master Jenkin. And if ye must needs have a whimsy, though I think it would be safer to venture on a staid womanly body, why, here be as bonny lasses in London as this Peg-a-Ramsay. You need not sigh sae deeply, for it is very true—there is as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it. Now wherefore should you, who are as brisk and trig a young fellow of your inches as the sun needs to shine on—wherefore need you sit moping this way, and not try some bold way to better your fortune?”

Richie filled his friend's cup to the top and insisted that he drink what he called "clean cup out." “This love,” he said, “is just a childish thing for a lively young guy like you, Master Jenkin. And if you really need a fancy, even though I think it would be safer to go for a steady, sensible woman, well, there are just as many beautiful girls in London as there is this Peg-a-Ramsay. You don’t need to sigh so deeply because it’s true—there are plenty of fish in the sea just as good as the ones that came out of it. So why should you, who are as lively and sharp a young man as the sun needs to shine on—why should you sit here moping, instead of trying some daring way to improve your luck?”

“I tell you, Master Moniplies,” said Jenkin, “I am as poor as any Scot among you—I have broke my indenture, and I think of running my country.”

“I’m telling you, Master Moniplies,” said Jenkin, “I’m as broke as any Scot among you—I’ve broken my contract, and I’m thinking of leaving the country.”

“A-well-a-day!” said Richie; “but that maunna be, man—I ken weel, by sad experience, that poortith takes away pith, and the man sits full still that has a rent in his breeks. [Footnote: This elegant speech was made by the Earl of Douglas, called Tineman after being wounded and made prisoner at the battle of Shrewsbury, where

“A-well-a-day!” said Richie; “but that can’t be, man—I know well, by unfortunate experience, that poverty takes away strength, and the man sits completely still who has a tear in his pants. [Footnote: This elegant speech was made by the Earl of Douglas, called Tineman after being wounded and captured at the battle of Shrewsbury, where

     “His well labouring sword
     Had three times slain the semblance of the king,”]
“His hard-working sword had killed the king's likeness three times.”

But courage, man; you have served me heretofore, and I will serve you now. If you will but bring me to speech of this same captain, it will be the best day's work you ever did.”

But have courage, my friend; you’ve helped me before, and now I will help you. If you can just introduce me to this captain, it will be the best thing you’ve ever done.

“I guess where you are, Master Richard—you would save your countryman's long purse,” said Jenkin. “I cannot see how that should advantage me, but I reck not if I should bear a hand. I hate that braggart, that bloody-minded, cowardly bully. If you can get me mounted I care not if I show you where the dame told me I should meet him—but you must stand to the risk, for though he is a coward himself, I know he will have more than one stout fellow with him.”

“I guess you’re in a place where you would save your countryman’s long purse,” said Jenkin. “I don’t see how that benefits me, but I don’t mind helping out. I can’t stand that arrogant, violent, cowardly bully. If you can get me a horse, I don’t care if I show you where the woman said I should meet him—but you have to be prepared for trouble, because even though he’s a coward, I know he’ll have more than one tough guy with him.”

“We'll have a warrant, man,” said Richie, “and the hue and cry, to boot.”

“We'll have a warrant, man,” Richie said, “and the alarm, too.”

“We will have no such thing,” said Jenkin, “if I am to go with you. I am not the lad to betray any one to the harmanbeck. You must do it by manhood if I am to go with you. I am sworn to cutter's law, and will sell no man's blood.”

“We can’t have that,” said Jenkin. “Not if I’m going with you. I’m not the kind of person who would betray anyone to the harmanbeck. You’ll have to handle it with courage if I’m coming along. I’m committed to cutter's law, and I won’t sell out anyone’s blood.”

“Aweel,” said Richie, “a wilful man must have his way; ye must think that I was born and bred where cracked crowns were plentier than whole ones. Besides, I have two noble friends here, Master Lowestoffe of the Temple, and his cousin Master Ringwood, that will blithely be of so gallant a party.”

“Aha,” said Richie, “a stubborn man has to get his way; you must think I was born and raised where broken heads are more common than intact ones. Plus, I have two noble friends here, Master Lowestoffe of the Temple and his cousin Master Ringwood, who are both eager to join in such a splendid gathering.”

“Lowestoffe and Ringwood!” said Jenkin; “they are both brave gallants—they will be sure company. Know you where they are to be found?”

“Lowestoffe and Ringwood!” said Jenkin; “they're both brave guys—they'll definitely be good company. Do you know where to find them?”

“Ay, marry do I,” replied Richie. “They are fast at the cards and dice, till the sma' hours, I warrant them.”

“Ay, I really do,” replied Richie. “They’re quick with the cards and dice, till the early hours, I promise you.”

“They are gentlemen of trust and honour,” said Jenkin, “and, if they advise it, I will try the adventure. Go, try if you can bring them hither, since you have so much to say with, them. We must not be seen abroad together.—I know not how it is, Master Moniplies,” continued he, as his countenance brightened up, and while, in his turn, he filled the cups, “but I feel my heart something lighter since I have thought of this matter.”

“They're men of integrity and respect,” said Jenkin, “and if they suggest it, I’ll take on the challenge. Go, see if you can bring them here, since you have a good rapport with them. We can’t be seen out together. —I’m not sure what it is, Master Moniplies,” he continued, his face lighting up as he filled the cups in return, “but I feel my heart a bit lighter since I started thinking about this.”

“Thus it is to have counsellors, Master Jenkin,” said Richie; “and truly I hope to hear you say that your heart is as light as a lavrock's, and that before you are many days aulder. Never smile and shake your head, but mind what I tell you—and bide here in the meanwhile, till I go to seek these gallants. I warrant you, cart-ropes would not hold them back from such a ploy as I shall propose to them.”

“That's why it's good to have advisors, Master Jenkin,” said Richie; “and I really hope to hear you say that your heart is as light as a lark's, and that it will be so before too many days pass. Don’t smile and shake your head; just remember what I’m telling you—and stay here for now while I go find these gentlemen. I bet you, nothing could stop them from the kind of adventure I’m going to suggest.”










CHAPTER XXXVI

  The thieves have bound the true men—
  Now, could thou and I rob the thieves, and go
   merrily to London.
                    Henry IV., Part I.
The thieves have tied up the real men—  
Now, could you and I steal from the thieves, and head  
cheerfully to London.  
                    Henry IV., Part I.

The sun was high upon the glades of Enfield Chase, and the deer, with which it then abounded, were seen sporting in picturesque groups among the ancient oaks of the forest, when a cavalier and a lady, on foot, although in riding apparel, sauntered slowly up one of the long alleys which were cut through the park for the convenience of the hunters. Their only attendant was a page, who, riding a Spanish jennet, which seemed to bear a heavy cloak-bag, followed them at a respectful distance. The female, attired in all the fantastic finery of the period, with more than the usual quantity of bugles, flounces, and trimmings, and holding her fan of ostrich feathers in one hand, and her riding-mask of black velvet in the other, seemed anxious, by all the little coquetry practised on such occasions, to secure the notice of her companion, who sometimes heard her prattle without seeming to attend to it, and at other times interrupted his train of graver reflections, to reply to her.

The sun was high over the clearings of Enfield Chase, and the deer that roamed there were seen playing in picturesque groups among the ancient oaks of the forest when a gentleman and a lady, walking though dressed for riding, strolled slowly up one of the long pathways made for the convenience of hunters. Their only companion was a page, who, riding a Spanish horse that seemed to carry a heavy cloak-bag, followed them at a respectful distance. The woman, dressed in all the extravagant fashion of the time, complete with an abundance of beads, ruffles, and embellishments, held her fan made of ostrich feathers in one hand and a black velvet riding mask in the other, seeming eager to catch the attention of her companion. Sometimes he listened to her chatter without really paying attention, while at other times he would interrupt his more serious thoughts to respond to her.

“Nay, but, my lord—my lord, you walk so fast, you will leave me behind you.—Nay, I will have hold of your arm, but how to manage with my mask and my fan? Why would you not let me bring my waiting-gentlewoman to follow us, and hold my things? But see, I will put my fan in my girdle, soh!—and now that I have a hand to hold you with, you shall not run away from me.”

“Wait, my lord—you’re walking so fast that you’re going to leave me behind. I want to hold onto your arm, but how can I do that with my mask and my fan? Why won’t you let me bring my maid to follow us and carry my stuff? But look, I’ll just tuck my fan into my waistband, there! Now that I can hold onto you, you’re not getting away from me.”

“Come on, then,” answered the gallant, “and let us walk apace, since you would not be persuaded to stay with your gentlewoman, as you call her, and with the rest of the baggage.—You may perhaps see that, though, you will not like to see.”

“Come on, then,” the brave man replied, “and let’s walk quickly, since you wouldn’t be convinced to stay with your lady, as you refer to her, and the rest of the group. You might see that, but I doubt you’ll enjoy it.”

She took hold of his arm accordingly; but as he continued to walk at the same pace, she shortly let go her hold, exclaiming that he had hurt her hand. The cavalier stopped, and looked at the pretty hand and arm which she showed him, with exclamations against his cruelty. “I dare say,” she said, baring her wrist and a part of her arm, “it is all black and blue to the very elbow.”

She grabbed his arm, but as he kept walking at the same speed, she soon let go, saying he had hurt her hand. The gentleman stopped and looked at her pretty hand and arm, while she complained about his cruelty. “I bet,” she said, rolling up her sleeve to show her wrist and part of her arm, “it’s all bruised up to the elbow.”

“I dare say you are a silly little fool,” said the cavalier, carelessly kissing the aggrieved arm; “it is only a pretty incarnate which sets off the blue veins.”

“I have to say, you’re being a silly little fool,” the cavalier said, casually kissing the upset arm. “It’s just a pretty figure that highlights the blue veins.”

“Nay, my lord, now it is you are silly,” answered the dame; “but I am glad I can make you speak and laugh on any terms this morning. I am sure, if I did insist on following you into the forest, it was all for the sake of diverting you. I am better company than your page, I trow.—And now, tell me, these pretty things with horns, be they not deer?”

“Nah, my lord, it’s you who’s being silly,” replied the lady; “but I’m glad that I can make you talk and laugh this morning, no matter the reason. I’m sure that if I insisted on following you into the forest, it was just to entertain you. I’m better company than your page, I assure you.—Now, tell me, those pretty creatures with horns, aren't they deer?”

“Even such they be, Nelly,” answered her neglectful attendant.

“Even if they are like that, Nelly,” replied her careless attendant.

“And what can the great folk do with so many of them, forsooth?”

“And what can the great people do with so many of them, really?”

“They send them to the city, Nell, where wise men make venison pasties of their flesh, and wear their horns for trophies,” answered Lord Dalgarno, whom our reader has already recognised.

“They send them to the city, Nell, where wise men make venison pies from their flesh and wear their horns as trophies,” replied Lord Dalgarno, whom our reader has already recognized.

“Nay, now you laugh at me, my lord,” answered his companion; “but I know all about venison, whatever you may think. I always tasted it once a year when we dined with Mr. Deputy,” she continued, sadly, as a sense of her degradation stole across a mind bewildered with vanity and folly, “though he would not speak to me now, if we met together in the narrowest lane in the Ward!”

“Nah, now you’re laughing at me, my lord,” replied his companion. “But I know all about venison, no matter what you think. I used to taste it once a year when we had dinner with Mr. Deputy,” she added, sadly, as a sense of her fall from grace washed over her confused mind, filled with vanity and foolishness. “Even if we ran into each other in the narrowest alley in the Ward, he wouldn’t even acknowledge me now!”

“I warrant he would not,” said Lord Dalgarno, “because thou, Nell, wouldst dash him with a single look; for I trust thou hast more spirit than to throw away words on such a fellow as he?”

“I bet he wouldn’t,” said Lord Dalgarno, “because you, Nell, would scare him off with just a single glance; I trust you have more spirit than to waste your words on someone like him?”

“Who, I!” said Dame Nelly. “Nay, I scorn the proud princox too much for that. Do you know, he made all the folk in the Ward stand cap in hand to him, my poor old John Christie and all?” Here her recollection began to overflow at her eyes.

“Who, me!” said Dame Nelly. “No way, I think way too little of that arrogant jerk for that. Do you know, he had everyone in the Ward stand there with their hats in their hands in front of him, even my poor old John Christie?” At this point, her memories started to make her eyes well up.

“A plague on your whimpering,” said Dalgarno, somewhat harshly,—“Nay, never look pale for the matter, Nell. I am not angry with you, you simple fool. But what would you have me think, when you are eternally looking back upon your dungeon yonder by the river, which smelt of pitch and old cheese worse than a Welshman does of onions, and all this when I am taking you down to a castle as fine as is in Fairy Land!”

“A plague on your whining,” Dalgarno said somewhat harshly, “No, don’t turn pale over this, Nell. I’m not mad at you, you naive fool. But what do you expect me to think when you keep looking back at your dungeon over there by the river, which stinks worse than a Welshman of onions, and all this while I’m taking you to a castle as nice as anything in Fairy Land!”

“Shall we be there to-night, my lord?” said Nelly, drying her tears.

“Are we going to be there tonight, my lord?” Nelly asked, wiping away her tears.

“To-night, Nelly?—no, nor this night fortnight.”

“To night, Nelly?—no, nor this night two weeks.”

“Now, the Lord be with us, and keep us!—But shall we not go by sea, my lord?—I thought everybody came from Scotland by sea. I am sure Lord Glenvarloch and Richie Moniplies came up by sea.”

“Now, may the Lord be with us and protect us!—But shouldn’t we go by sea, my lord?—I thought everyone traveled from Scotland by sea. I’m pretty sure Lord Glenvarloch and Richie Moniplies came up by sea.”

“There is a wide difference between coming up and going down, Nelly,” answered Lord Dalgarno.

“There’s a big difference between rising up and falling down, Nelly,” answered Lord Dalgarno.

“And so there is, for certain,” said his simple companion. “But yet I think I heard people speaking of going down to Scotland by sea, as well as coming up. Are you well avised of the way?—Do you think it possible we can go by land, my sweet lord?”

“And so there is, for sure,” said his plain companion. “But I think I heard people talking about going down to Scotland by sea, as well as coming up. Do you know the way?—Do you think it's possible for us to go by land, my dear lord?”

“It is but trying, my sweet lady,” said Lord Dalgarno. “Men say England and Scotland are in the same island, so one would hope there may be some road betwixt them by land.”

“It’s just an effort, my dear lady,” said Lord Dalgarno. “People say England and Scotland are on the same island, so one would think there should be some way to travel between them by land.”

“I shall never be able to ride so far,” said the lady.

“I’ll never be able to ride that far,” said the lady.

“We will have your saddle stuffed softer,” said the lord. “I tell you that you shall mew your city slough, and change from the caterpillar of a paltry lane into the butterfly of a prince's garden. You shall have as many tires as there are hours in the day—as many handmaidens as there are days in the week—as many menials as there are weeks in the year—and you shall ride a hunting and hawking with a lord, instead of waiting upon an old ship-chandler, who could do nothing but hawk and spit.”

“We'll make your saddle softer,” said the lord. “I promise you, you'll leave your city gutter behind and transform from the caterpillar of a shabby street into the butterfly of a prince's garden. You'll have as many outfits as there are hours in a day—as many handmaidens as there are days in a week—as many servants as there are weeks in a year—and you'll go hunting and hawking with a lord, instead of serving an old ship-chandler who could only hawk and spit.”

“Ay, but will you make me your lady?” said Dame Nelly.

“Aye, but will you make me your lady?” said Dame Nelly.

“Ay, surely—what else?” replied the lord—“My lady-love.”

“Ay, of course—what else?” replied the lord—“My darling.”

“Ay, but I mean your lady-wife,” said Nelly.

“Ay, but I mean your lady-wife,” Nelly said.

“Truly, Nell, in that I cannot promise to oblige you. A lady-wife,” continued Dalgarno, “is a very different thing from a lady-love.”

“Honestly, Nell, I can't promise to accommodate you. A wife,” continued Dalgarno, “is a very different thing from a girlfriend.”

“I heard from Mrs. Suddlechop, whom you lodged me with since I left poor old John Christie, that Lord Glenvarloch is to marry David Ramsay the clockmaker's daughter?”

“I heard from Mrs. Suddlechop, who took me in after I left poor old John Christie, that Lord Glenvarloch is going to marry David Ramsay the clockmaker's daughter?”

“There is much betwixt the cup and the lip, Nelly. I wear something about me may break the bans of that hopeful alliance, before the day is much older,” answered Lord Dalgarno.

“There's a lot that can happen between the cup and the lip, Nelly. I have something on me that might end that hopeful alliance before the day is much older,” replied Lord Dalgarno.

“Well, but my father was as good a man as old Davy Ramsay, and as well to pass in the world, my lord; and, therefore, why should you not marry me? You have done me harm enough, I trow—wherefore should you not do me this justice?”

“Well, my father was just as good a man as old Davy Ramsay, and just as respected in the community, my lord; so, why shouldn’t you marry me? You've caused me enough harm, I suppose—so why shouldn't you do me this one justice?”

“For two good reasons, Nelly. Fate put a husband on you, and the king passed a wife upon me,” answered Lord Dalgarno.

"For two good reasons, Nelly. Fate gave you a husband, and the king assigned me a wife," replied Lord Dalgarno.

“Ay, my lord,” said Nelly, “but they remain in England, and we go to Scotland.”

“Yeah, my lord,” Nelly said, “but they are staying in England, and we are going to Scotland.”

“Thy argument is better than thou art aware of,” said Lord Dalgarno. “I have heard Scottish lawyers say the matrimonial tie may be unclasped in our happy country by the gentle hand of the ordinary course of law, whereas in England it can only be burst by an act of Parliament. Well, Nelly, we will look into that matter; and whether we get married again or no, we will at least do our best to get unmarried.”

“Your argument is better than you realize,” said Lord Dalgarno. “I’ve heard Scottish lawyers say that in our wonderful country, the marriage bond can be loosened by the straightforward process of law, while in England it can only be broken by an act of Parliament. Well, Nelly, we’ll investigate that issue; and whether we get married again or not, we’ll at least do our best to get divorced.”

“Shall we indeed, my honey-sweet lord? and then I will think less about John Christie, for he will marry again, I warrant you, for he is well to pass; and I would be glad to think he had somebody to take care of him, as I used to do, poor loving old man! He was a kind man, though he was a score of years older than I; and I hope and pray he will never let a young lord cross his honest threshold again!”

“Are we really doing this, my sweet lord? If so, I won't think about John Christie as much, because I’m sure he’ll marry again; he’s in a good position for it. I’d be happy to know he has someone to take care of him like I used to, poor dear man! He was kind, even though he was twenty years older than me, and I hope and pray he never lets a young lord step through his honest door again!”

Here the dame was once more much inclined to give way to a passion of tears; but Lord Dalgarno conjured down the emotion, by saying with some asperity—“I am weary of these April passions, my pretty mistress, and I think you will do well to preserve your tears for some more pressing occasion. Who knows what turn of fortune may in a few minutes call for more of them than you can render?”

Here, the lady was once again on the verge of tears, but Lord Dalgarno suppressed the emotion by saying somewhat harshly, “I am tired of these unpredictable moods, my lovely mistress, and I think it's best to save your tears for a more significant moment. Who knows what twist of fate might arise in a few minutes that will require more tears than you can spare?”

“Goodness, my lord! what mean you by such expressions? John Christie (the kind heart!) used to keep no secrets from me, and I hope your lordship will not hide your counsel from me?”

“Goodness, my lord! What do you mean by saying that? John Christie (the kind soul!) never kept secrets from me, and I hope you won’t keep your thoughts from me either?”

“Sit down beside me on this bank,” said the nobleman; “I am bound to remain here for a short space, and if you can be but silent, I should like to spend a part of it in considering how far I can, on the present occasion, follow the respectable example which you recommend to me.”

“Sit down next to me on this riverbank,” said the nobleman; “I have to stay here for a little while, and if you can be quiet, I’d like to spend some of that time thinking about how far I can follow the good example you’ve suggested.”

The place at which he stopped was at that time little more than a mound, partly surrounded by a ditch, from which it derived the name of Camlet Moat. A few hewn stones there were, which had escaped the fate of many others that had been used in building different lodges in the forest for the royal keepers. These vestiges, just sufficient to show that “herein former times the hand of man had been,” marked the ruins of the abode of a once illustrious but long-forgotten family, the Mandevilles, Earls of Essex, to whom Enfield Chase and the extensive domains adjacent had belonged in elder days. A wild woodland prospect led the eye at various points through broad and seemingly interminable alleys, which, meeting at this point as at a common centre, diverged from each other as they receded, and had, therefore, been selected by Lord Dalgarno as the rendezvous for the combat, which, through the medium of Richie Moniplies, he had offered to his injured friend, Lord Glenvarloch.

The place where he stopped was at that time just a mound, partly surrounded by a ditch, which is how it got the name Camlet Moat. There were a few cut stones left that hadn't been used up in building various lodges in the forest for the royal keepers. These remnants, just enough to show that “here once the hand of man had been,” marked the ruins of the home of a now forgotten family, the Mandevilles, Earls of Essex, who used to own Enfield Chase and the large lands nearby. A wild woodland view led the eye through wide and seemingly endless paths that came together at this point as a common center and then spread out as they went further away. This was why Lord Dalgarno chose this spot as the meeting place for the duel he had suggested to his injured friend, Lord Glenvarloch, through Richie Moniplies.

“He will surely come?” he said to himself; “cowardice was not wont to be his fault—at least he was bold enough in the Park.—Perhaps yonder churl may not have carried my message? But no—he is a sturdy knave—one of those would prize their master's honour above their life.—Look to the palfrey, Lutin, and see thou let him not loose, and cast thy falcon glance down every avenue to mark if any one comes.—Buckingham has undergone my challenge, but the proud minion pleads the king's paltry commands for refusing to answer me. If I can baffle this Glenvarloch, or slay him—If I can spoil him of his honour or his life, I shall go down to Scotland with credit sufficient to gild over past mischances. I know my dear countrymen—they never quarrel with any one who brings them home either gold or martial glory, much more if he has both gold and laurels.”

“He'll definitely show up,” he thought to himself; “cowardice has never been his weakness—at least he was brave enough in the Park. Maybe that guy didn’t pass on my message? But no—he’s a tough guy—one of those who value their master’s honor more than their own life. Take care of the horse, Lutin, and make sure you don’t let him loose, and keep your eyes down every path to see if anyone is coming. Buckingham has accepted my challenge, but that proud minion hides behind the king’s petty orders to avoid answering me. If I can outsmart this Glenvarloch or kill him—if I can take away his honor or his life, I can head back to Scotland with enough credit to cover up past mistakes. I know my dear countrymen—they never fight with anyone who brings them either gold or martial glory, and it’s even better if he has both gold and laurels.”

As he thus reflected, and called to mind the disgrace which he had suffered, as well as the causes he imagined for hating Lord Glenvarloch, his countenance altered under the influence of his contending emotions, to the terror of Nelly, who, sitting unnoticed at his feet, and looking anxiously in his face, beheld the cheek kindle, the mouth become compressed, the eye dilated, and the whole countenance express the desperate and deadly resolution of one who awaits an instant and decisive encounter with a mortal enemy. The loneliness of the place, the scenery so different from that to which alone she had been accustomed, the dark and sombre air which crept so suddenly over the countenance of her seducer, his command imposing silence upon her, and the apparent strangeness of his conduct in idling away so much time without any obvious cause, when a journey of such length lay before them, brought strange thoughts into her weak brain. She had read of women, seduced from their matrimonial duties by sorcerers allied to the hellish powers, nay, by the Father of Evil himself, who, after conveying his victim into some desert remote from human kind, exchanged the pleasing shape in which he gained her affections, for all his natural horrors. She chased this wild idea away as it crowded itself upon her weak and bewildered imagination; yet she might have lived to see it realised allegorically, if not literally, but for the accident which presently followed.

As he reflected on the shame he had endured and the reasons he believed justified his hatred for Lord Glenvarloch, his expression shifted dramatically under the weight of his conflicting emotions, striking fear into Nelly. Sitting quietly at his feet and anxiously looking up at him, she noticed his cheek flush, his mouth tighten, his eyes widen, and his entire face show the desperate and deadly determination of someone waiting for an immediate and critical confrontation with a deadly foe. The isolation of the location, the unfamiliar scenery that contrasted sharply with what she was used to, the sudden dark cloud that fell over her seducer's face, his insistence on silence, and his odd behavior of wasting time without any clear reason while a long journey lay ahead filled her mind with unsettling thoughts. She had read about women lured away from their marital duties by sorcerers aligned with dark forces, even by the Prince of Darkness himself, who, after bringing his victim to some desolate place far from civilization, would shed the charming appearance he used to win her love for his true, horrific form. She tried to dismiss this frightening notion as it pressed in on her fragile and confused mind; yet, she might have lived to see it come true, at least in a symbolic way, if not for the event that would soon unfold.

The page, whose eyes were remarkably acute, at length called out to his master, pointing with his finger at the same time down one of the alleys, that horsemen were advancing in that direction. Lord Dalgarno started up, and shading his eyes with his hand, gazed eagerly down the alley; when, at the same instant, he received a shot, which, grazing his hand, passed right through his brain, and laid him a lifeless corpse at the feet, or rather across the lap, of the unfortunate victim of his profligacy. The countenance, whose varied expression she had been watching for the last five minutes, was convulsed for an instant, and then stiffened into rigidity for ever. Three ruffians rushed from the brake from which the shot had been fired, ere the smoke was dispersed. One, with many imprecations seized on the page; another on the female, upon whose cries he strove by the most violent threats to impose silence; whilst the third began to undo the burden from the page's horse. But an instant rescue prevented their availing themselves of the advantage they had obtained.

The page, whose eyesight was remarkably sharp, finally called out to his master, pointing down one of the alleys to show that horsemen were approaching. Lord Dalgarno jumped up and shielded his eyes with his hand, eagerly looking down the alley, when suddenly he was shot. The bullet grazed his hand, went straight through his brain, and left him a lifeless body at the feet—or rather across the lap—of the unfortunate victim of his reckless behavior. The expression on his face, which she had been observing for the last five minutes, twisted for a moment and then became permanently rigid. Three thugs rushed out from the bushes where the shot had been fired, before the smoke had cleared. One of them, cursing loudly, grabbed the page; another seized the woman, trying to silence her cries with violent threats; while the third started to unload the cargo from the page's horse. But a quick rescue prevented them from taking advantage of the situation.

It may easily be supposed that Richie Moniplies, having secured the assistance of the two Templars, ready enough to join in any thing which promised a fray, with Jin Vin to act as their guide, had set off, gallantly mounted and well armed, under the belief that they would reach Camlet Moat before the robbers, and apprehend them in the fact. They had not calculated that, according to the custom of robbers in other countries, but contrary to that of the English highwayman of those days, they meant to ensure robbery by previous murder. An accident also happened to delay them a little while on the road. In riding through one of the glades of the forest, they found a man dismounted and sitting under a tree, groaning with such bitterness of spirit, that Lowestoffe could not forbear asking if he was hurt. In answer, he said he was an unhappy man in pursuit of his wife, who had been carried off by a villain; and as he raised his countenance, the eyes of Richie, to his great astonishment, encountered the visage of John Christie.

It’s easy to think that Richie Moniplies, having gotten help from the two Templars who were eager to jump into any fight, along with Jin Vin as their guide, had set out confidently on horseback and fully armed, believing they would reach Camlet Moat before the robbers and catch them in the act. They didn’t consider that, unlike the customs of English highwaymen at the time, these robbers intended to commit robbery only after committing murder. They also faced a delay due to an unexpected incident on the road. While riding through a clearing in the forest, they came across a man who had dismounted and was sitting under a tree, groaning in deep distress, which made Lowestoffe ask if he was hurt. The man replied that he was an unfortunate guy searching for his wife, who had been kidnapped by a scoundrel; and as he lifted his face, Richie was shocked to see that it was John Christie.

“For the Almighty's sake, help me, Master Moniplies!” he said; “I have learned my wife is but a short mile before, with that black villain Lord Dalgarno.”

“For the love of God, help me, Master Moniplies!” he said; “I’ve just learned that my wife is just a short mile ahead, with that wicked Lord Dalgarno.”

“Have him forward by all means,” said Lowestoffe; “a second Orpheus seeking his Eurydice!—Have him forward—we will save Lord Dalgarno's purse, and ease him of his mistress—Have him with us, were it but for the variety of the adventure. I owe his lordship a grudge for rooking me. We have ten minutes good.”

“Absolutely, have him sent over,” said Lowestoffe; “another Orpheus looking for his Eurydice!—Bring him here—we'll save Lord Dalgarno's money and free him from his lady—Let’s have him join us, if only for the excitement of it. I owe his lordship a favor for what he did to me. We've got a good ten minutes.”

But it is dangerous to calculate closely in matters of life and death. In all probability the minute or two which was lost in mounting John Christie behind one of their party, might have saved Lord Dalgarno from his fate. Thus his criminal amour became the indirect cause of his losing his life; and thus “our pleasant vices are made the whips to scourge us.”

But it's risky to be precise about life and death situations. The one or two minutes spent getting John Christie situated behind one of their group might have spared Lord Dalgarno from his fate. So, his illicit romance ended up being the indirect reason for his death; and that's how “our enjoyable vices become the tools that punish us.”

The riders arrived on the field at full gallop the moment after the shot was fired; and Richie, who had his own reasons for attaching himself to Colepepper, who was bustling to untie the portmanteau from the page's saddle, pushed against him with such violence as to overthrow him, his own horse at the same time stumbling and dismounting his rider, who was none of the first equestrians. The undaunted Richie immediately arose, however, and grappled with the ruffian with such good-will, that, though a strong fellow, and though a coward now rendered desperate, Moniplies got him under, wrenched a long knife from his hand, dealt him a desperate stab with his own weapon, and leaped on his feet; and, as the wounded man struggled to follow his example, he struck him upon the head with the butt-end of a musketoon, which last blow proved fatal.

The riders charged onto the field at full speed right after the shot was fired; Richie, who had his own reasons for sticking close to Colepepper, who was busy untying the suitcase from the page's saddle, pushed against him with such force that it knocked him over. At the same time, Richie's horse stumbled, throwing him off, and he wasn’t exactly an experienced rider. However, the fearless Richie quickly got back up and fought the thug with such determination that, despite being a strong guy and a coward now driven to desperation, Moniplies brought him down, wrested a long knife from his grip, stabbed him with his own weapon, and got back on his feet. As the wounded man tried to get up, Richie struck him on the head with the butt-end of a shotgun, which turned out to be a fatal blow.

“Bravo, Richie!” cried Lowestoffe, who had himself engaged at sword-point with one of the ruffians, and soon put him to flight,—“Bravo! why, man, there lies Sin, struck down like an ox, and Iniquity's throat cut like a calf.”

“Way to go, Richie!” shouted Lowestoffe, who was fighting one of the thugs with a sword and quickly scared him off, “Way to go! Look, there’s Sin, taken down like a bull, and Iniquity’s throat sliced open like that of a calf.”

“I know not why you should upbraid me with my upbringing, Master Lowestoffe,” answered Richie, with great composure; “but I can tell you, the shambles is not a bad place for training one to this work.”

“I don’t know why you’re criticizing me about my upbringing, Master Lowestoffe,” Richie replied calmly, “but I can tell you, the slaughterhouse is not a bad place for learning to do this work.”

The other Templar now shouted loudly to them,—“If ye be men, come hither—here lies Lord Dalgarno, murdered!”

The other Templar shouted loudly to them, “If you’re men, come here—Lord Dalgarno has been murdered!”

Lowestoffe and Richie ran to the spot, and the page took the opportunity, finding himself now neglected on all hands, to ride off in a different direction; and neither he, nor the considerable sum with which his horse was burdened, were ever heard of from that moment.

Lowestoffe and Richie ran to the spot, and the page seized the chance, feeling ignored by everyone, to ride off in a different direction; and neither he nor the large amount of money he was carrying was ever seen again from that moment.

The third ruffian had not waited the attack of the Templar and Jin Vin, the latter of whom had put down old Christie from behind him that he might ride the lighter; and the whole five now stood gazing with horror on the bloody corpse of the young nobleman, and the wild sorrow of the female, who tore her hair and shrieked in the most disconsolate manner, until her agony was at once checked, or rather received a new direction, by the sudden and unexpected appearance of her husband, who, fixing on her a cold and severe look, said, in a tone suited to his manner—“Ay, woman! thou takest on sadly for the loss of thy paramour.”—Then, looking on the bloody corpse of him from whom he had received so deep an injury, he repeated the solemn words of Scripture,—“'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will repay it.'—I, whom thou hast injured, will be first to render thee the decent offices due to the dead.”

The third thug didn’t wait for the Templar and Jin Vin to attack. Jin Vin had pushed old Christie out of the way so he could ride lighter. Now, all five stood staring in horror at the bloody body of the young nobleman and the woman, who was in wild despair, pulling her hair and screaming in the most heartbreaking way. Her agony was suddenly interrupted, or rather redirected, by the unexpected arrival of her husband. He looked at her coldly and said, in a tone that matched his demeanor, “Yeah, woman! You’re mourning heavily for the loss of your lover.” Then, glancing at the bloody body of the man who had hurt him deeply, he recited the solemn words of Scripture: “'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will repay it.'—I, whom you have wronged, will be the first to perform the proper duties owed to the dead.”

So saying, he covered the dead body with his cloak, and then looking on it for a moment, seemed to reflect on what he had next to perform. As the eye of the injured man slowly passed from the body of the seducer to the partner and victim of his crime, who had sunk down to his feet, which she clasped without venturing to look up, his features, naturally coarse and saturnine, assumed a dignity of expression which overawed the young Templars, and repulsed the officious forwardness of Richie Moniplies, who was at first eager to have thrust in his advice and opinion. “Kneel not to me, woman,” he said, “but kneel to the God thou hast offended, more than thou couldst offend such another worm as thyself. How often have I told thee, when thou wert at the gayest and the lightest, that pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall? Vanity brought folly, and folly brought sin, and sin hath brought death, his original companion. Thou must needs leave duty, and decency, and domestic love, to revel it gaily with the wild and with the wicked; and there thou liest like a crushed worm, writhing beside the lifeless body of thy paramour. Thou hast done me much wrong—dishonoured me among friends—driven credit from my house, and peace from my fireside—But thou wert my first and only love, and I will not see thee an utter castaway, if it lies with me to prevent it.—Gentlemen, I render ye such thanks as a broken-hearted man can give.—Richard, commend me to your honourable master. I added gall to the bitterness of his affliction, but I was deluded.—Rise up, woman, and follow me.”

So saying, he covered the dead body with his cloak and, taking a moment to look at it, seemed to think about what to do next. As the injured man's gaze slowly shifted from the body of the deceiver to the accomplice and victim of his crime, who had collapsed at his feet, clutching them without daring to look up, his features—normally rough and gloomy—took on a dignified expression that intimidated the young Templars and pushed back the eager interference of Richie Moniplies, who initially wanted to offer his unsolicited advice and opinion. “Don’t kneel to me, woman,” he said, “but kneel to the God you’ve offended, more than you could offend someone as insignificant as yourself. How many times have I told you, when you were at your happiest and most carefree, that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall? Vanity led to folly, folly resulted in sin, and sin has brought about death, its constant companion. You had to abandon duty, decency, and domestic love to frolic wildly with the reckless and the wicked; and now here you lie like a crushed worm, writhing beside the lifeless body of your lover. You’ve done me great harm—dishonored me in front of others—driven respect from my home, and peace from my life—But you were my first and only love, and I won’t let you become a complete lost cause if I can help it. Gentlemen, I thank you as much as a heartbroken man can. Richard, send my regards to your honorable master. I added to the bitterness of his suffering, but I was deceived. —Get up, woman, and follow me.”

He raised her up by the arm, while, with streaming eyes, and bitter sobs, she endeavoured to express her penitence. She kept her hands spread over her face, yet suffered him to lead her away; and it was only as they turned around a brake which concealed the scene they had left, that she turned back, and casting one wild and hurried glance towards the corpse of Dalgarno, uttered a shriek, and clinging to her husband's arm, exclaimed wildly,—“Save me—save me! They have murdered him!”

He lifted her by the arm while she, with tears streaming down her face and bitter sobs, tried to show her regret. She kept her hands over her face but allowed him to guide her away; it was only when they turned around a thicket that hid the scene they had just left that she looked back. Casting one frantic and quick glance at Dalgarno's body, she let out a scream and, gripping her husband's arm, cried out desperately, “Save me—save me! They’ve killed him!”

Lowestoffe was much moved by what he had witnessed; but he was ashamed, as a town-gallant, of his own unfashionable emotion, and did a force to his feelings when he exclaimed,—“Ay, let them go—the kind-hearted, believing, forgiving husband—the liberal, accommodating spouse. O what a generous creature is your true London husband!—Horns hath he, but, tame as a fatted ox, he goreth not. I should like to see her when she hath exchanged her mask and riding-beaver for her peaked hat and muffler. We will visit them at Paul's Wharf, coz—it will be a convenient acquaintance.”

Lowestoffe was really affected by what he saw; but he felt embarrassed, as a city guy, about his own uncool emotions, and he forced himself to express his feelings when he said, “Yeah, let them go—the kind-hearted, trusting, forgiving husband—the easy-going, accommodating partner. Oh, what a generous guy your typical London husband is!—He may have horns, but like a well-fed ox, he doesn't attack. I’d love to see her when she swaps her mask and riding hat for her peaked cap and scarf. We should visit them at Paul's Wharf, cousin—it'll be a convenient connection.”

“You had better think of catching the gipsy thief, Lutin,” said Richie Moniplies; “for, by my faith, he is off with his master's baggage and the siller.”

“You should really consider catching the gypsy thief, Lutin,” said Richie Moniplies; “because, honestly, he has run off with his master’s luggage and the money.”

A keeper, with his assistants, and several other persons, had now come to the spot, and made hue and cry after Lutin, but in vain. To their custody the Templars surrendered the dead bodies, and after going through some formal investigation, they returned, with Richard and Vincent, to London, where they received great applause for their gallantry.—Vincent's errors were easily expiated, in consideration of his having been the means of breaking up this band of villains; and there is some reason to think, that what would have diminished the credit of the action in other instances, rather added to it in the actual circumstances, namely, that they came too late to save Lord Dalgarno.

A keeper, along with his assistants and several other people, had now arrived at the scene and searched for Lutin, but without success. The Templars handed over the dead bodies to them, and after a brief investigation, they returned to London with Richard and Vincent, where they received a lot of praise for their bravery.—Vincent's mistakes were easily forgiven, considering he helped dismantle this group of criminals; and there is some reason to believe that what would have hurt the reputation of the action in other situations actually enhanced it in this case, specifically that they arrived too late to save Lord Dalgarno.

George Heriot, who suspected how matters stood with Vincent, requested and obtained permission from his master to send the poor young fellow on an important piece of business to Paris. We are unable to trace his fate farther, but believe it was prosperous, and that he entered into an advantageous partnership with his fellow-apprentice, upon old Davy Ramsay retiring from business, in consequence of his daughter's marriage. That eminent antiquary, Dr. Dryasdust, is possessed of an antique watch, with a silver dial-plate, the mainspring being a piece of catgut instead of a chain, which bears the names of Vincent and Tunstall, Memory-Monitors.

George Heriot, who had a hunch about what was going on with Vincent, asked his boss for permission to send the poor young man on an important mission to Paris. We can't track what happened to him after that, but we believe it went well and that he entered into a profitable partnership with his fellow apprentice after old Davy Ramsay retired from business due to his daughter's marriage. That well-known antiquarian, Dr. Dryasdust, owns an old watch with a silver dial, where the mainspring is made of catgut instead of a chain, which has the names of Vincent and Tunstall inscribed on it, serving as Memory-Monitors.

Master Lowestoffe failed not to vindicate his character as a man of gaiety, by inquiring after John Christie and Dame Nelly; but greatly to his surprise, (indeed to his loss, for he had wagered ten pieces that he would domesticate himself in the family,) he found the good-will, as it was called, of the shop, was sold, the stock auctioned, and the late proprietor and his wife gone, no one knew whither. The prevailing belief was, that they had emigrated to one of the new settlements in America.

Master Lowestoffe didn’t hesitate to clear his name as a cheerful guy by asking about John Christie and Dame Nelly; but to his surprise, and to his detriment since he had bet ten coins that he would become part of the family, he discovered that the goodwill of the shop was sold, the inventory auctioned off, and the previous owner and his wife had disappeared, with no one knowing where they went. The common belief was that they had moved to one of the new settlements in America.

Lady Dalgarno received the news of her unworthy husband's death with a variety of emotions, among which, horror that he should have been cut off in the middle career of his profligacy, was the most prominent. The incident greatly deepened her melancholy, and injured her health, already shaken by previous circumstances. Repossessed of her own fortune by her husband's death, she was anxious to do justice to Lord Glenvarloch, by treating for the recovery of the mortgage.

Lady Dalgarno heard about her unworthy husband's death with mixed emotions, the strongest being shock that he had been taken in the midst of his reckless lifestyle. This event intensified her sadness and further harmed her already fragile health. With her own fortune back in her hands after her husband’s passing, she was eager to do right by Lord Glenvarloch by negotiating to reclaim the mortgage.

But the scrivener, having taken fright at the late events, had left the city and absconded, so that it was impossible to discover into whose hands the papers had now passed. Richard Moniplies was silent, for his own reasons; the Templars, who had witnessed the transaction, kept the secret at his request, and it was universally believed that the scrivener had carried off the writings along with him. We may here observe, that fears similar to those of Skurliewhitter freed London for ever from the presence of Dame Suddlechop, who ended her career in the Rasp-haus, (viz. Bridewell,) of Amsterdam.

But the scrivener, scared by the recent events, had left the city and disappeared, making it impossible to find out who now had the papers. Richard Moniplies remained quiet for his own reasons; the Templars, who had seen what happened, kept it a secret at his request, and it was widely believed that the scrivener had taken the documents with him. It's worth noting that similar fears to those of Skurliewhitter permanently removed Dame Suddlechop from London, and she ended her life in the Rasp-haus, (i.e., Bridewell,) in Amsterdam.

The stout old Lord Huntinglen, with a haughty carriage and unmoistened eye, accompanied the funeral procession of his only son to its last abode; and perhaps the single tear which fell at length upon the coffin, was given less to the fate of the individual, than to the extinction of the last male of his ancient race.

The sturdy old Lord Huntinglen, with a proud stance and dry eyes, followed the funeral procession of his only son to its final resting place; and maybe the single tear that eventually fell on the coffin was less for the fate of the person than for the end of the last male of his noble lineage.










CHAPTER XXXVII

Jacques. There is, suie, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark!—Here comes a pair of very strange beasts.—As You Like It.

Jacques. There is, sure enough, another flood coming, and these couples are heading to the ark!—Here comes a couple of very unusual creatures.—As You Like It.

The fashion of such narratives as the present, changes like other earthly things. Time was that the tale-teller was obliged to wind up his story by a circumstantial description of the wedding, bedding, and throwing the stocking, as the grand catastrophe to which, through so many circumstances of doubt and difficulty, he had at length happily conducted his hero and heroine. Not a circumstance was then omitted, from the manly ardour of the bridegroom, and the modest blushes of the bride, to the parson's new surplice, and the silk tabinet mantua of the bridesmaid. But such descriptions are now discarded, for the same reason, I suppose, that public marriages are no longer fashionable, and that, instead of calling together their friends to a feast and a dance, the happy couple elope in a solitary post-chaise, as secretly as if they meant to go to Gretna-Green, or to do worse. I am not ungrateful for a change which saves an author the trouble of attempting in vain to give a new colour to the commonplace description of such matters; but, notwithstanding, I find myself forced upon it in the present instance, as circumstances sometimes compel a stranger to make use of an old road which has been for some time shut up. The experienced reader may have already remarked, that the last chapter was employed in sweeping out of the way all the unnecessary and less interesting characters, that I might clear the floor for a blithe bridal.

The trends in stories like this one change just like everything else. There was a time when storytellers had to wrap up their tales with detailed descriptions of weddings, bedding rituals, and throwing the stocking, which served as the grand finale after leading their hero and heroine through various doubts and challenges. Every detail was included, from the groom's enthusiastic demeanor and the bride's shy blush to the priest's new robe and the bridesmaid's silk dress. But now, such descriptions are out of style, probably for the same reason that public weddings are no longer trendy. Instead of gathering friends for a celebration and dance, couples often run away in a private carriage, as discreetly as if they were headed to Gretna Green or even worse. I'm not unappreciative of this change, which spares authors the struggle of trying to make tired descriptions sound fresh; however, I find I must dig into it here, as sometimes circumstances force a newcomer to use an old path that has been closed off for a while. The attentive reader may have already noticed that the last chapter focused on clearing away unnecessary and less interesting characters so I could create space for a lively wedding celebration.

In truth, it would be unpardonable to pass over slightly what so deeply interested our principal personage, King James. That learned and good-humoured monarch made no great figure in the politics of Europe; but then, to make amends, he was prodigiously busy, when he could find a fair opportunity of intermeddling with the private affairs of his loving subjects, and the approaching marriage of Lord Glenvarloch was matter of great interest to him. He had been much struck (that is, for him, who was not very accessible to such emotions) with the beauty and embarrassment of the pretty Peg-a-Ramsay, as he called her, when he first saw her, and he glorified himself greatly on the acuteness which he had displayed in detecting her disguise, and in carrying through the whole inquiry which took place in consequence of it.

Honestly, it would be unforgivable to overlook what so deeply interested our main character, King James. That learned and easygoing king didn’t make much of an impact on the politics of Europe; however, he was incredibly busy whenever he found a chance to meddle in the private affairs of his loyal subjects. The upcoming marriage of Lord Glenvarloch was very important to him. He was quite taken by the beauty and awkwardness of the lovely Peg-a-Ramsay, as he referred to her, when he first saw her, and he took great pride in the sharpness with which he identified her disguise and in managing the whole investigation that followed.

He laboured for several weeks, while the courtship was in progress, with his own royal eyes, so as wellnigh to wear out, he declared, a pair of her father's best barnacles, in searching through old books and documents, for the purpose of establishing the bride's pretensions to a noble, though remote descent, and thereby remove the only objection which envy might conceive against the match. In his own opinion, at least, he was eminently successful; for, when Sir Mungo Malagrowther one day, in the presence-chamber, took upon him to grieve bitterly for the bride's lack of pedigree, the monarch cut him short with, “Ye may save your grief for your ain next occasions, Sir Mungo; for, by our royal saul, we will uphauld her father, Davy Ramsay, to be a gentleman of nine descents, whase great gudesire came of the auld martial stock of the House of Dalwolsey, than whom better men never did, and better never will, draw sword for king and country. Heard ye never of Sir William Ramsay of Dalwolsey, man, of whom John Fordoun saith,—'He was bellicosissimus, nobilissimus?'—His castle stands to witness for itsell, not three miles from Dalkeith, man, and within a mile of Bannockrig. Davy Ramsay came of that auld and honoured stock, and I trust he hath not derogated from his ancestors by his present craft. They all wrought wi' steel, man; only the auld knights drilled holes wi' their swords in their enemies' corslets, and he saws nicks in his brass wheels. And I hope it is as honourable to give eyes to the blind as to slash them out of the head of those that see, and to show us how to value our time as it passes, as to fling it away in drinking, brawling, spear-splintering, and such-like unchristian doings. And you maun understand, that Davy Ramsay is no mechanic, but follows a liberal art, which approacheth almost to the act of creating a living being, seeing it may be said of a watch, as Claudius saith of the sphere of Archimedes, the Syracusan—

He worked for several weeks, during the courtship, searching through old books and documents, almost wearing out a pair of her father's best spectacles, trying to prove the bride's lineage was noble, even if it was distant, to eliminate the only objection that jealousy might raise against the match. At least in his own opinion, he was very successful; for when Sir Mungo Malagrowther one day, in the throne room, lamented the bride's lack of pedigree, the king interrupted him with, “You can save your sorrow for your own future occasions, Sir Mungo; for, by our royal soul, we will uphold her father, Davy Ramsay, as a gentleman of nine generations, whose great-grandfather came from the old martial stock of the House of Dalwolsey, better men than whom have never drawn a sword for king and country, and better never will. Haven't you heard of Sir William Ramsay of Dalwolsey, man, of whom John Fordoun says, ‘He was bellicosissimus, nobilissimus?' His castle stands as proof just three miles from Dalkeith and within a mile of Bannockrig. Davy Ramsay comes from that old and honored lineage, and I trust he hasn't tarnished his ancestors' reputation with his current work. They all worked with steel, man; only the old knights made holes with their swords in their enemies' armor, while he carves notches into his brass wheels. And I believe it’s just as honorable to give sight to the blind as it is to slash the eyes out of those who can see, and to show us how to value our time as it passes, instead of wasting it on drinking, brawling, spear-splintering, and other such un-Christian activities. And you must understand that Davy Ramsay is no mechanic, but practices a liberal art, which is almost like creating a living being, as it can be said of a watch, just as Claudius mentioned of Archimedes’ sphere.

“Inclusus variis famulatur spiritus astris, Et vivum certis motibus urget opus.'”

“Included in various spirits, it serves the stars, and with definitive motions urges the work.”

“Your Majesty had best give auld Davy a coat-of-arms, as well as a pedigree,” said Sir Mungo.

“Your Majesty should really give old Davy a coat of arms, along with a family history,” said Sir Mungo.

“It's done, or ye bade, Sir Mungo,” said the king; “and I trust we, who are the fountain of all earthly honour, are free to spirit a few drops of it on one so near our person, without offence to the Knight of Castle Girnigo. We have already spoken with the learned men of the Herald's College, and we propose to grant him an augmented coat-of-arms, being his paternal coat, charged with the crown-wheel of a watch in chief, for a difference; and we purpose to add Time and Eternity, for supporters, as soon as the Garter King-at-Arms shall be able to devise how Eternity is to be represented.”

“It’s done, as you requested, Sir Mungo,” said the king; “and I trust we, who are the source of all earthly honor, are free to sprinkle a few drops of it on someone so close to us, without offending the Knight of Castle Girnigo. We have already spoken with the learned members of the Herald's College, and we plan to grant him an enhanced coat of arms, featuring his family crest, with the crown-wheel of a watch placed prominently, as a distinguishing mark; and we intend to add Time and Eternity as supporters, as soon as the Garter King-at-Arms can figure out how to represent Eternity.”

“I would make him twice as muckle as Time,” [Footnote: Chaucer says, there is nothing new but what it has been old. The reader has here the original of an anecdote which has since been fathered on a Scottish Chief of our own time.] said Archie Armstrong, the Court fool, who chanced to be present when the king stated this dilemma. “Peace, man—ye shall be whippet,” said the king, in return for this hint; “and you, my liege subjects of England, may weel take a hint from what we have said, and not be in such a hurry to laugh at our Scottish pedigrees, though they be somewhat long derived, and difficult to be deduced. Ye see that a man of right gentle blood may, for a season, lay by his gentry, and yet ken whare to find it, when he has occasion for it. It would be as unseemly for a packman, or pedlar, as ye call a travelling merchant, whilk is a trade to which our native subjects of Scotland are specially addicted, to be blazing his genealogy in the faces of those to whom he sells a bawbee's worth of ribbon, as it would be to him to have a beaver on his head, and a rapier by his side, when the pack was on his shoulders. Na, na—he hings his sword on the cleek, lays his beaver on the shelf, puts his pedigree into his pocket, and gangs as doucely and cannily about his peddling craft as if his blood was nae better than ditch-water; but let our pedlar be transformed, as I have kend it happen mair than ance, into a bein thriving merchant, then ye shall have a transformation, my lords.

“I would make him twice as significant as Time,” [Footnote: Chaucer says, there is nothing new that hasn’t been old. The reader has here the original of an anecdote which has since been attributed to a Scottish Chief of our own time.] said Archie Armstrong, the Court fool, who happened to be present when the king mentioned this dilemma. “Calm down, man—you'll be punished,” said the king in response to this hint; “and you, my loyal subjects of England, might take a cue from what we’ve said and not rush to laugh at our Scottish backgrounds, even though they might be a bit lengthy and hard to trace. You see, a person of noble birth can, for a time, set aside his gentry while still knowing where to find it when he needs it. It would be just as inappropriate for a traveling merchant—what you call a packman or pedlar, a trade our Scottish people particularly enjoy—to flaunt his family tree in the faces of those to whom he sells a few pence worth of ribbon, as it would be for him to wear a top hat and carry a sword while his pack is on his back. No, no—he hangs his sword on the hook, puts his hat on the shelf, keeps his family history in his pocket, and goes about his selling as modestly and cleverly as if his blood were no better than ditch water; but let our pedlar be transformed, as I've seen happen more than once, into a prosperous merchant, then you’ll see a real transformation, my lords.

     'In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas—'
'In new forms, my mind is inspired to speak—'

Out he pulls his pedigree, on he buckles his sword, gives his beaver a brush, and cocks it in the face of all creation. We mention these things at the mair length, because we would have you all to know, that it is not without due consideration of the circumstances of all parties, that we design, in a small and private way, to honour with our own royal presence the marriage of Lord Glenvarloch with Margaret Ramsay, daughter and heiress of David Ramsay, our horologer, and a cadet only thrice removed from the ancient house of Dalwolsey. We are grieved we cannot have the presence of the noble Chief of that House at the ceremony; but where there is honour to be won abroad the Lord Dalwolsey is seldom to be found at home. Sic fuit, est, et erit.-Jingling Geordie, as ye stand to the cost of the marriage feast, we look for good cheer.”

Out he pulls his family background, straps on his sword, gives his hat a brush, and tips it in the direction of everyone around. We mention these things at length because we want you all to know that it’s not without careful consideration of everyone involved that we plan, in a small and private way, to honor with our royal presence the marriage of Lord Glenvarloch and Margaret Ramsay, daughter and heiress of David Ramsay, our clockmaker, and only a few generations removed from the ancient house of Dalwolsey. We’re sorry we can’t have the noble Chief of that House at the ceremony, but when there’s glory to be gained elsewhere, Lord Dalwolsey is hardly ever home. Sic fuit, est, et erit. -Jingling Geordie, as you cover the cost of the wedding feast, we expect a good celebration.

Heriot bowed, as in duty bound. In fact, the king, who was a great politician about trifles, had manoeuvred greatly on this occasion, and had contrived to get the Prince and Buckingham dispatched on an expedition to Newmarket, in order that he might find an opportunity in their absence of indulging himself in his own gossiping, coshering habits, which were distasteful to Charles, whose temper inclined to formality, and with which even the favourite, of late, had not thought it worth while to seem to sympathise. When the levee was dismissed, Sir Mungo Malagrowther seized upon the worthy citizen in the court-yard of the Palace, and detained him, in spite of all his efforts, for the purpose of subjecting him to the following scrutiny:—

Heriot bowed, as he was expected to do. In reality, the king, who was quite the schemer when it came to small matters, had cleverly arranged for the Prince and Buckingham to be sent on a trip to Newmarket so he could take the chance to indulge in his own gossiping habits, which Charles found off-putting since he preferred a more formal approach. Even the king's favorite had recently not bothered to pretend to support these habits. After the levee wrapped up, Sir Mungo Malagrowther caught the respectable citizen in the palace courtyard and refused to let him go, determined to put him through a thorough questioning:—

“This is a sair job on you, Master George—the king must have had little consideration—this will cost you a bonny penny, this wedding dinner?”

“This is a tough situation for you, Master George—the king must not have thought it through—this wedding dinner is going to cost you a pretty penny?”

“It will not break me, Sir Mungo,” answered Heriot; “the king hath a right to see the table which his bounty hath supplied for years, well covered for a single day.”

“It won’t break me, Sir Mungo,” Heriot replied; “the king has a right to see the table that his generosity has provided for years, well set for just one day.”

“Vera true, vera true—we'll have a' to pay, I doubt, less or mair—a sort of penny-wedding it will prove, where all men contribute to the young folk's maintenance, that they may not have just four bare legs in a bed together. What do you propose to give, Master George?—we begin with the city when money is in question.” [Footnote: The penny-wedding of the Scots, now disused even among the lowest ranks, was a peculiar species of merry-making, at which, if the wedded pair were popular, the guests who convened, contributed considerable sums under pretence of paying for the bridal festivity, but in reality to set the married folk afloat in the world.]

“Vera true, vera true—we’ll all have to contribute, I’m sure, more or less—a kind of penny-wedding it will be, where everyone pitches in to help the young couple, so they don’t end up with just four bare legs in the same bed. What do you plan to give, Master George?—we start with the city when it comes to cash.” [Footnote: The penny-wedding of the Scots, now rarely seen even among the lowest classes, was a unique type of celebration, where, if the newlyweds were well-liked, the guests brought in substantial amounts supposedly to cover the wedding festivities, but actually to help the couple get started in life.]

“Only a trifle, Sir Mungo—I give my god-daughter the marriage ring; it is a curious jewel—I bought it in Italy; it belonged to Cosmo de Medici. The bride will not need my help—she has an estate which belonged to her maternal grandfather.”

“Just a small thing, Sir Mungo—I’m giving my goddaughter the wedding ring; it’s a unique piece—I got it in Italy; it used to belong to Cosmo de Medici. The bride won’t need my assistance—she has an estate that belonged to her maternal grandfather.”

“The auld soap-boiler,” said Sir Mungo; “it will need some of his suds to scour the blot out of the Glenvarloch shield—I have heard that estate was no great things.”

"The old soap-boiler," said Sir Mungo; "he'll need some of his suds to scrub the stain off the Glenvarloch shield—I’ve heard that estate isn’t much to brag about."

“It is as good as some posts at Court, Sir Mungo, which are coveted by persons of high quality,” replied George Heriot.

“It’s just as desirable as some positions at Court, Sir Mungo, that are sought after by people of high status,” replied George Heriot.

“Court favour, said ye? Court favour, Master Heriot?” replied Sir Mungo, choosing then to use his malady of misapprehension; “Moonshine in water, poor thing, if that is all she is to be tochered with—I am truly solicitous about them.”

“Court favor, did you say? Court favor, Master Heriot?” replied Sir Mungo, choosing then to play into his misunderstanding; “Moonshine in water, poor thing, if that’s all she’s going to be burdened with—I’m genuinely concerned about them.”

“I will let you into a secret,” said the citizen, “which will relieve your tender anxiety. The dowager Lady Dalgarno gives a competent fortune to the bride, and settles the rest of her estate upon her nephew the bridegroom.”

“I'll let you in on a secret,” said the citizen, “that will ease your worried mind. The dowager Lady Dalgarno is giving a good fortune to the bride and is passing the rest of her estate onto her nephew, the groom.”

“Ay, say ye sae?” said Sir Mungo, “just to show her regard to her husband that is in the tomb—lucky that her nephew did not send him there; it was a strange story that death of poor Lord Dalgarno—some folk think the poor gentleman had much wrong. Little good comes of marrying the daughter of the house you are at feud with; indeed, it was less poor Dalgarno's fault, than theirs that forced the match on him; but I am glad the young folk are to have something to live on, come how it like, whether by charity or inheritance. But if the Lady Dalgarno were to sell all she has, even to her very wylie-coat, she canna gie them back the fair Castle of Glenvarloch—that is lost and gane—lost and gane.”

“Really, is that what you think?” said Sir Mungo. “Just to show respect for her husband who's in the grave—thank goodness her nephew didn't send him there; it’s a strange story about the death of poor Lord Dalgarno—some people believe the poor guy was really wronged. Nothing good comes from marrying the daughter of the family you're at odds with; honestly, it was more the fault of those who forced the match on him than poor Dalgarno's. But I’m glad the young couple will have something to live on, no matter how it comes, whether through charity or inheritance. But if Lady Dalgarno were to sell everything she has, even her last piece of clothing, she can't give them back the beautiful Castle of Glenvarloch—that is lost and gone—lost and gone.”

“It is but too true,” said George Heriot; “we cannot discover what has become of the villain Andrew Skurliewhitter, or what Lord Dalgarno has done with the mortgage.”

“It’s all too true,” said George Heriot; “we can’t figure out what happened to the scoundrel Andrew Skurliewhitter, or what Lord Dalgarno did with the mortgage.”

“Assigned it away to some one, that his wife might not get it after he was gane; it would have disturbed him in his grave, to think Glenvarloch should get that land back again,” said Sir Mungo; “depend on it, he will have ta'en sure measures to keep that noble lordship out of her grips or her nevoy's either.”

“Gave it to someone else so that his wife wouldn’t get it after he was gone; it would have upset him in his grave to think Glenvarloch would reclaim that land,” said Sir Mungo; “trust me, he must have taken strong steps to keep that noble lordship out of her hands or her nephew’s too.”

“Indeed it is but too probable, Sir Mungo,” said Master Heriot; “but as I am obliged to go and look after many things in consequence of this ceremony, I must leave you to comfort yourself with the reflection.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty likely, Sir Mungo,” Master Heriot said. “But since I have to take care of a lot of things because of this ceremony, I’ll have to leave you to find some comfort in that thought.”

“The bride-day, you say, is to be on the thirtieth of the instant month?” said Sir Mungo, holloing after the citizen; “I will be with you in the hour of cause.”

“The wedding day, you say, is set for the thirtieth of this month?” said Sir Mungo, calling out to the citizen; “I’ll be there at the appointed time.”

“The king invites the guests,” said George Heriot, without turning back.

“The king is inviting the guests,” George Heriot said without looking back.

“The base-born, ill-bred mechanic!” soliloquised Sir Mungo, “if it were not the odd score of pounds he lent me last week, I would teach him how to bear himself to a man of quality! But I will be at the bridal banquet in spite of him.”

“The low-born, rude mechanic!” Sir Mungo thought to himself, “if it weren’t for the twenty pounds he lent me last week, I would show him how to conduct himself around someone of higher status! But I’ll still be at the wedding feast regardless of him.”

Sir Mungo contrived to get invited, or commanded, to attend on the bridal accordingly, at which there were but few persons present; for James, on such occasions, preferred a snug privacy, which gave him liberty to lay aside the encumbrance, as he felt it to be, of his regal dignity. The company was very small, and indeed there were at least two persons absent whose presence might have been expected. The first of these was the Lady Dalgarno, the state of whose health, as well as the recent death of her husband, precluded her attendance on the ceremony. The other absentee was Richie Moniplies, whose conduct for some time past had been extremely mysterious. Regulating his attendance on Lord Glenvarloch entirely according to his own will and pleasure, he had, ever since the rencounter in Enfield Chase, appeared regularly at his bedside in the morning, to assist him to dress, and at his wardrobe in the evening. The rest of the day he disposed of at his own pleasure, without control from his lord, who had now a complete establishment of attendants. Yet he was somewhat curious to know how the fellow disposed of so much of his time; but on this subject Richie showed no desire to be communicative.

Sir Mungo managed to get invited, or ordered, to attend the wedding, which had only a few guests; James preferred a cozy privacy for these occasions, allowing him to shed the burden of his royal status. The gathering was very small, and at least two people who could have been expected were missing. The first was Lady Dalgarno, whose health issues and the recent death of her husband kept her from the ceremony. The other absentee was Richie Moniplies, whose behavior had been quite mysterious for some time. He decided when to show up for Lord Glenvarloch based entirely on his own whims, and ever since the encounter in Enfield Chase, he regularly appeared at his bedside in the morning to help him get dressed and at his wardrobe in the evening. The rest of his day was spent as he pleased, without any oversight from his lord, who now had a full staff of attendants. Still, he was somewhat curious about how Richie spent so much of his time; however, Richie showed no interest in sharing that information.

On the morning of the bridal-day, Richie was particularly attentive in doing all a valet-de-chambre could, so as to set off to advantage the very handsome figure of his master; and when he had arranged his dress to the utmost exactness, and put to his long curled locks what he called “the finishing touch of the redding-kaim,” he gravely kneeled down, kissed his hand, and bade him farewell, saying that he humbly craved leave to discharge himself of his lordship's service.

On the morning of the wedding day, Richie was especially focused on doing everything a valet could to make his master look his best. After adjusting his outfit perfectly and adding what he called "the final touch of the redding-kaim" to his long, curled hair, he solemnly knelt down, kissed his hand, and said goodbye, expressing that he respectfully wanted to end his service to his lord.

“Why, what humour is this?” said Lord Glenvarloch; “if you mean to discharge yourself of my service, Richie, I suppose you intend to enter my wife's?”

“Why, what humor is this?” said Lord Glenvarloch; “if you plan to quit my service, Richie, I guess you mean to join my wife's?”

“I wish her good ladyship that shall soon be, and your good lordship, the blessings of as good a servant as myself, in heaven's good time,” said Richie; “but fate hath so ordained it, that I can henceforth only be your servant in the way of friendly courtesy.”

“I wish her ladyship, who will soon be here, and your lordship, the blessings of a servant as good as myself, in heaven's own time,” said Richie; “but fate has decided that from now on, I can only serve you in a friendly way.”

“Well, Richie,” said the young lord, “if you are tired of service, we will seek some better provision for you; but you will wait on me to the church, and partake of the bridal dinner?”

“Well, Richie,” said the young lord, “if you're done with serving, we’ll find something better for you; but you’ll come with me to the church and join the wedding dinner?”

“Under favour, my lord,” answered Richie; “I must remind you of our covenant, having presently some pressing business of mine own, whilk will detain me during the ceremony; but I will not fail to prie Master George's good cheer, in respect he has made very costly fare, whilk it would be unthankful not to partake of.”

“Of course, my lord,” Richie replied. “I need to remind you of our agreement, as I have some urgent business of my own that will keep me occupied during the ceremony. However, I won’t miss out on Master George’s generous feast, considering he has prepared such an extravagant meal, which would be ungrateful to ignore.”

“Do as you list,” answered Lord Glenvarloch; and having bestowed a passing thought on the whimsical and pragmatical disposition of his follower, he dismissed the subject for others better suited to the day.

“Do as you wish,” replied Lord Glenvarloch; and after giving a brief thought to the quirky and practical nature of his follower, he moved on to topics more fitting for the day.

The reader must fancy the scattered flowers which strewed the path of the happy couple to church—the loud music which accompanied the procession—the marriage service performed by a bishop—the king, who met them at Saint Paul's, giving away the bride,—to the great relief of her father, who had thus time, during the ceremony, to calculate the just quotient to be laid on the pinion of report in a timepiece which he was then putting together.

The reader should imagine the scattered flowers that lined the path of the happy couple to the church—the loud music that played during the procession—the marriage service conducted by a bishop—the king, who met them at St. Paul's, giving away the bride—which greatly relieved her father, who then had time during the ceremony to calculate the right amount to put on the gear of the clock he was assembling.

When the ceremony was finished, the company were transported in the royal carriages to George Heriot's, where a splendid collation was provided for the marriage-guests in the Foljambe apartments. The king no sooner found himself in this snug retreat, than, casting from him his sword and belt with such haste as if they burnt his fingers, and flinging his plumed hat on the table, as who should say, Lie there, authority! he swallowed a hearty cup of wine to the happiness of the married couple, and began to amble about the room, mumping, laughing, and cracking jests, neither the wittiest nor the most delicate, but accompanied and applauded by shouts of his own mirth, in order to encourage that of the company. Whilst his Majesty was in the midst of this gay humour, and a call to the banquet was anxiously expected, a servant whispered Master Heriot forth of the apartment. When he re-entered, he walked up to the king, and, in his turn whispered something, at which James started.

When the ceremony was over, the guests were taken in royal carriages to George Heriot's, where a lavish meal was set up for the wedding guests in the Foljambe apartments. As soon as the king entered this cozy retreat, he quickly tossed aside his sword and belt as if they were burning his hands and flung his feathered hat onto the table, as if to say, "Forget about authority!" He gulped down a generous cup of wine to toast the newlyweds and started to stroll around the room, grumbling, laughing, and cracking jokes, not the smartest or most tasteful ones, but cheered on by his own laughter to boost the mood of the guests. Just when His Majesty was in the midst of this cheerful spirit, and everyone was eagerly anticipating the feast, a servant quietly took Master Heriot aside from the room. When he came back in, he approached the king and whispered something, which made James jump.

“He is not wanting his siller?” said the king, shortly and sharply.

“Does he not want his money?” said the king, briefly and sternly.

“By no means, my liege,” answered Heriot. “It is a subject he states himself as quite indifferent about, so long as it can pleasure your Majesty.”

“Not at all, my king,” replied Heriot. “He says he doesn’t care much about it, as long as it brings you joy.”

“Body of us, man!” said the king, “it is the speech of a true man and a loving subject, and we will grace him accordingly—what though he be but a carle—a twopenny cat may look at a king. Swith, man! have him—pundite fores.—Moniplies?—They should have called the chield Monypennies, though I sall warrant you English think we have not such a name in Scotland.”

“Wow, man!” said the king, “that’s the kind of talk from a real man and a loyal subject, and we’ll honor him for it—so what if he’s just a peasant—a two-penny cat can look at a king. Come on, man! Let’s have him—pundite fores.—Moniplies?—They should have named the guy Monypennies, although I bet the English think we don’t have such a name in Scotland.”

“It is an ancient and honourable stock, the Monypennies,” said Sir Mungo Malagrowther; “the only loss is, there are sae few of the name.”

“It’s an ancient and honorable family, the Monypennies,” said Sir Mungo Malagrowther; “the only downside is, there are so few of them around.”

“The family seems to increase among your countrymen, Sir Mungo,” said Master Lowestoffe, whom Lord Glenvarloch had invited to be present, “since his Majesty's happy accession brought so many of you here.”

“The family seems to be growing among your fellow countrymen, Sir Mungo,” said Master Lowestoffe, whom Lord Glenvarloch had invited to be present, “since his Majesty’s fortunate accession brought so many of you here.”

“Right, sir—right,” said Sir Mungo, nodding and looking at George Heriot; “there have some of ourselves been the better of that great blessing to the English nation.”

“Right, sir—right,” said Sir Mungo, nodding and looking at George Heriot; “some of us have certainly benefited from that great blessing to the English nation.”

As he spoke, the door flew open, and in entered, to the astonishment of Lord Glenvarloch, his late serving-man Richie Moniplies, now sumptuously, nay, gorgeously, attired in a superb brocaded suit, and leading in his hand the tall, thin, withered, somewhat distorted form of Martha Trapbois, arrayed in a complete dress of black velvet, which suited so strangely with the pallid and severe melancholy of her countenance, that the king himself exclaimed, in some perturbation, “What the deil has the fallow brought us here? Body of our regal selves! it is a corpse that has run off with the mort-cloth!”

As he was talking, the door suddenly swung open, and to Lord Glenvarloch's astonishment, his former servant Richie Moniplies walked in, now elegantly dressed in a stunning brocaded suit. He was leading the tall, thin, withered, and somewhat distorted figure of Martha Trapbois, who was fully dressed in black velvet. This outfit looked oddly mismatched with the pale and deeply sorrowful expression on her face, prompting the king to exclaim, somewhat flustered, “What on earth has this fellow brought us? Goodness! It’s like a corpse that has escaped with its burial shroud!”

“May I sifflicate your Majesty to be gracious unto her?” said Richie; “being that she is, in respect of this morning's wark, my ain wedded wife, Mrs. Martha Moniplies by name.”

“May I ask your Majesty to show kindness to her?” said Richie; “since she is, given this morning’s work, my own wedded wife, Mrs. Martha Moniplies by name.”

“Saul of our body, man! but she looks wondrous grim,” answered King James. “Art thou sure she has not been in her time maid of honour to Queen Mary, our kinswoman, of redhot memory?”

“Saul of our body, man! But she looks really grim,” replied King James. “Are you sure she hasn’t been, at some point, a lady-in-waiting to Queen Mary, our relative, who is so famously remembered?”

“I am sure, an it like your Majesty, that she has brought me fifty thousand pounds of good siller, and better; and that has enabled me to pleasure your Majesty, and other folk.”

“I’m sure, if it pleases your Majesty, that she has given me fifty thousand pounds of good silver, and even better; and that has allowed me to serve your Majesty and others.”

“Ye need have said naething about that, man,” said the king; “we ken our obligations in that sma' matter, and we are glad this rudas spouse of thine hath bestowed her treasure on ane wha kens to put it to the profit of his king and country.—But how the deil did ye come by her, man?”

“There's no need to mention that, man,” said the king; “we know our duties in that small matter, and we’re glad this rough spouse of yours has given her treasures to someone who knows how to use them for the benefit of his king and country.—But how the hell did you end up with her, man?”

“In the auld Scottish fashion, my liege. She is the captive of my bow and my spear,” answered Moniplies. “There was a convention that she should wed me when I avenged her father's death—so I slew, and took possession.”

“In the old Scottish way, my lord. She is the captive of my bow and my spear,” Moniplies replied. “There was an agreement that she would marry me when I got revenge for her father’s death—so I killed him and claimed her.”

“It is the daughter of Old Trapbois, who has been missed so long,” said Lowestoffe.—“Where the devil could you mew her up so closely, friend Richie?”

“It’s Old Trapbois’s daughter who has been missing for so long,” said Lowestoffe. “Where on earth could you hide her so well, friend Richie?”

“Master Richard, if it be your will,” answered Richie; “or Master Richard Moniplies, if you like it better. For mewing of her up, I found her a shelter, in all honour and safety, under the roof of an honest countryman of my own—and for secrecy, it was a point of prudence, when wantons like you were abroad, Master Lowestoffe.”

“Master Richard, if that's what you prefer,” replied Richie; “or Master Richard Moniplies, if you like that better. To keep her safe, I found her a secure and honorable shelter under the roof of a trustworthy local man of mine—and it was wise to ensure secrecy, especially with troublemakers like you around, Master Lowestoffe.”

There was a laugh at Richie's magnanimous reply, on the part of every one but his bride, who made to him a signal of impatience, and said, with her usual brevity and sternness,—“Peace—peace, I pray you, peace. Let us do that which we came for.” So saying, she took out a bundle of parchments, and delivering them to Lord Glenvarloch, she said aloud,—“I take this royal presence, and all here, to witness, that I restore the ransomed lordship of Glenvarloch to the right owner, as free as ever it was held by any of his ancestors.”

Everyone laughed at Richie's generous reply, except for his bride, who signaled her impatience and said, with her usual brevity and seriousness, “Please, let’s have some peace. Let’s do what we came here for.” With that, she pulled out a bundle of parchments and handed them to Lord Glenvarloch, stating loudly, “I call upon this royal presence and everyone here as witnesses that I’m returning the ransomed lordship of Glenvarloch to its rightful owner, as freely as it has ever been held by any of his ancestors.”

“I witnessed the redemption of the mortgage,” said Lowestoffe; “but I little dreamt by whom it had been redeemed.”

“I saw the mortgage get paid off,” said Lowestoffe; “but I had no idea who had done it.”

“No need ye should,” said Richie; “there would have been small wisdom in crying roast-meat.”

“No need for you to,” said Richie; “it wouldn’t have made much sense to shout about the roast meat.”

“Peace,” said his bride, “once more.—This paper,” she continued, delivering another to Lord Glenvarloch, “is also your property—take it, but spare me the question how it came into my custody.”

“Peace,” said his bride, “one more time.—This paper,” she continued, handing another to Lord Glenvarloch, “is also yours—take it, but please don’t ask me how I ended up with it.”

The king had bustled forward beside Lord Glenvarloch, and fixing an eager eye on the writing, exclaimed—“Body of ourselves, it is our royal sign-manual for the money which was so long out of sight!—How came you by it, Mistress Bride?”

The king had hurried forward next to Lord Glenvarloch, and, fixing an eager gaze on the writing, exclaimed—“Our goodness, it’s our royal signature for the money that was missing for so long! How did you get this, Mistress Bride?”

“It is a secret,” said Martha, dryly.

“It’s a secret,” Martha said flatly.

“A secret which my tongue shall never utter,” said Richie, resolutely,—“unless the king commands me on my allegiance.”

“A secret that I will never reveal,” said Richie firmly, “unless the king orders me to, according to my loyalty.”

“I do—I do command you,” said James, trembling and stammering with the impatient curiosity of a gossip; while Sir Mungo, with more malicious anxiety to get at the bottom of the mystery, stooped his long thin form forward like a bent fishing-rod, raised his thin grey locks from his ear, and curved his hand behind it to collect every vibration of the expected intelligence. Martha in the meantime frowned most ominously on Richie, who went on undauntedly to inform the king, “that his deceased father-in-law, a good careful man in the main, had a' touch of worldly wisdom about him, that at times marred the uprightness of his walk; he liked to dabble among his neighbour's gear, and some of it would at times stick to his fingers in the handling.”

“I do—I do command you,” James said, trembling and stammering with the impatient curiosity of a gossip. Sir Mungo, with a more malicious urgency to uncover the mystery, leaned his long, thin body forward like a bent fishing rod, lifted his thin gray hair from his ear, and curved his hand behind it to catch every vibration of the expected news. Meanwhile, Martha frowned ominously at Richie, who continued bravely to inform the king, “that his late father-in-law, a generally cautious man, had a touch of worldly wisdom that sometimes affected his integrity; he liked to dabble in his neighbor's affairs, and sometimes some of it would stick to his fingers in the process.”

“For shame, man, for shame!” said Martha; “since the infamy of the deed must be told, be it at least briefly.—Yes, my lord,” she added, addressing Glenvarloch, “the piece of gold was not the sole bait which brought the miserable old man to your chamber that dreadful night—his object, and he accomplished it, was to purloin this paper. The wretched scrivener was with him that morning, and, I doubt not, urged the doting old man to this villainy, to offer another bar to the ransom of your estate. If there was a yet more powerful agent at the bottom of this conspiracy, God forgive it to him at this moment, for he is now where the crime must be answered!”

“For shame, man, for shame!” said Martha. “Since we have to talk about this shameful act, let’s at least keep it brief. —Yes, my lord,” she continued, addressing Glenvarloch, “the piece of gold wasn’t the only lure that brought the poor old man to your room that terrible night—his goal, which he achieved, was to steal this paper. The miserable scrivener was with him that morning, and I’m sure he pushed the foolish old man toward this crime to make it harder for you to reclaim your estate. If there was an even more powerful influence behind this plot, may God forgive him right now, for he is in a place where he must answer for his actions!”

“Amen!” said Lord Glenvarloch, and it was echoed by all present.

“Amen!” said Lord Glenvarloch, and everyone present echoed back.

“For my father,” continued she, with her stern features twitched by an involuntary and convulsive movement, “his guilt and folly cost him his life; and my belief is constant, that the wretch, who counselled him that morning to purloin the paper, left open the window for the entrance of the murderers.”

“For my father,” she continued, her face twitching involuntarily, “his guilt and foolishness cost him his life; and I firmly believe that the scoundrel who advised him that morning to steal the paper left the window open for the murderers to come in.”

Every body was silent for an instant; the king was first to speak, commanding search instantly to be made for the guilty scrivener. “I, lictor,” he concluded, “colliga manus—caput obnubito-infelici suspendite arbori.”

Every person was quiet for a moment; the king was the first to speak, ordering that a search be started immediately for the guilty scribe. “I, lictor,” he finished, “tie his hands—cover his head—hang him on a tree.

Lowestoffe answered with due respect, that the scrivener had absconded at the time of Lord Dalgarno's murder, and had not been heard of since.

Lowestoffe replied respectfully that the scrivener had fled at the time of Lord Dalgarno's murder and hadn't been seen since.

“Let him be sought for,” said the king. “And now let us change the discourse—these stories make one's very blood grew, and are altogether unfit for bridal festivity. Hymen, O Hymenee!” added he, snapping his fingers, “Lord Glenvarloch, what say you to Mistress Moniplies, this bonny bride, that has brought you back your father's estate on your bridal day?”

“Let’s find him,” said the king. “And now let’s change the subject—these tales make one’s blood run cold and are completely unsuitable for a wedding celebration. Hymen, O Hymenee!” he added, snapping his fingers. “Lord Glenvarloch, what do you think of Mistress Moniplies, this beautiful bride, who has returned your father’s estate to you on your wedding day?”

“Let him say nothing, my liege,” said Martha; “that will best suit his feelings and mine.”

“Let him say nothing, my lord,” said Martha; “that will be best for both his feelings and mine.”

“There is redemption-money, at the least, to be repaid,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “in that I cannot remain debtor.”

“There is money for redemption to be repaid, at the very least,” said Lord Glenvarloch; “because I cannot remain in debt.”

“We will speak of it hereafter,” said Martha; “my debtor you cannot be.” And she shut her mouth as if determined to say nothing more on the subject.

“We'll talk about it later,” Martha said; “you can't be my debtor.” And she closed her mouth, clearly resolved not to discuss it any further.

Sir Mungo, however, resolved not to part with the topic, and availing himself of the freedom of the moment, said to Richie—“A queer story that of your father-in-law, honest man; methinks your bride thanked you little for ripping it up.”

Sir Mungo, however, decided not to drop the subject, and taking advantage of the moment, said to Richie—"That's a strange story about your father-in-law, honest man; I think your bride didn't thank you much for bringing it up."

“I make it a rule, Sir Mungo,” replied Richie, “always to speak any evil I know about my family myself, having observed, that if I do not, it is sure to be told by ither folks.”

“I make it a rule, Sir Mungo,” replied Richie, “to always speak any bad things I know about my family myself, since I’ve noticed that if I don’t, other people are sure to bring it up.”

“But, Richie,” said Sir Mungo, “it seems to me that this bride of yours is like to be master and mair in the conjugal state.”

“But, Richie,” said Sir Mungo, “it seems to me that this bride of yours is bound to be the boss and more in married life.”

“If she abides by words, Sir Mungo,” answered Richie, “I thank heaven I can be as deaf as any one; and if she comes to dunts, I have twa hands to paik her with.”

“If she sticks to her words, Sir Mungo,” Richie replied, “I thank heaven I can be as deaf as anyone; and if she comes to blows, I’ve got two hands to handle her with.”

“Weel said, Richie, again,” said the king; “you have gotten it on baith haffits, Sir Mungo.—Troth, Mistress Bride, for a fule, your gudeman has a pretty turn of wit.”

“Weel said, Richie, again,” said the king; “you’ve got it on both sides, Sir Mungo. —Honestly, Mistress Bride, for a fool, your husband has a nice way with words.”

“There are fools, sire,” replied she, “who have wit, and fools who have courage—aye, and fools who have learning, and are great fools notwithstanding.—I chose this man because he was my protector when I was desolate, and neither for his wit nor his wisdom. He is truly honest, and has a heart and hand that make amends for some folly. Since I was condemned to seek a protector through the world, which is to me a wilderness, I may thank God that I have come by no worse.”

“There are fools, sir,” she replied, “who are clever, and fools who are brave—yes, and fools who are knowledgeable, yet are still complete fools. I chose this man because he was my protector when I was alone, and not for his cleverness or wisdom. He is genuinely honest and has a heart and a hand that make up for some foolishness. Since I’ve been forced to search for a protector in this world, which feels like a wilderness to me, I can thank God that I haven’t found anyone worse.”

“And that is sae sensibly said,” replied the king, “that, by my saul, I'll try whether I canna make him better. Kneel down, Richie—somebody lend me a rapier—yours, Mr. Langstaff, (that's a brave name for a lawyer,)—ye need not flash it out that gate, Templar fashion, as if ye were about to pink a bailiff!”

“And that is so wisely said,” replied the king, “that, by my soul, I'll see if I can make him better. Kneel down, Richie—somebody lend me a rapier—yours, Mr. Langstaff, (that's a great name for a lawyer)—you don't need to whip it out like that, Templar style, as if you were about to stab a bailiff!”

He took the drawn sword, and with averted eyes, for it was a sight he loved not to look on, endeavoured to lay it on Richie's shoulder, but nearly stuck it into his eye. Richie, starting back, attempted to rise, but was held down by Lowestoffe, while Sir Mungo, guiding the royal weapon, the honour-bestowing blow was given and received: “Surge, carnifex—Rise up, Sir Richard Moniplies, of Castle-Collop!—And, my lords and lieges, let us all to our dinner, for the cock-a-leekie is cooling.”

He picked up the drawn sword and, turning his eyes away because he didn’t want to see it, tried to rest it on Richie’s shoulder but almost jabbed it in his eye. Richie jumped back and tried to get up, but Lowestoffe held him down while Sir Mungo guided the royal weapon, and the honor-bestowing blow was given and received: “Surge, carnifex—Rise up, Sir Richard Moniplies, of Castle-Collop!—And, my lords and subjects, let’s all go to dinner because the cock-a-leekie is getting cold.”










NOTES

Note I. p. l4.—DAVID RAMSAY

Note I. p. l4.—DAVID RAMSAY

David Ramsay, watchmaker and horologer to James I., was a real person, though the author has taken the liberty of pressing him into the service of fiction. Although his profession led him to cultivate the exact sciences, like many at this period he mingled them with pursuits which were mystical and fantastic. The truth was, that the boundaries between truth and falsehood in mathematics, astronomy, and similar pursuits, were not exactly known, and there existed a sort of terra incognita between them, in which the wisest men bewildered themselves. David Ramsay risked his money on the success of the vaticinations which his researches led him to form, since he sold clocks and watches under condition, that their value should not become payable till King James was crowned in the Pope's chair at Rome. Such wagers were common in that day, as may be seen by looking at Jonson's Every Man out of his Humour.

David Ramsay, the watchmaker and horologist for James I, was a real person, although the author has taken the liberty of incorporating him into a fictional narrative. While his profession pushed him to explore the precise sciences, like many others of his time, he also mixed those pursuits with more mystical and fantastical interests. The reality was that the lines between truth and falsehood in mathematics, astronomy, and related fields were not well defined, creating a sort of terra incognita where the wisest individuals often found themselves confused. David Ramsay bet his money on the success of the predictions that his research led him to make, as he sold clocks and watches under the condition that their payment would not be due until King James was crowned in the Pope's chair in Rome. Such wagers were common at that time, as can be seen in Jonson's *Every Man out of his Humour*.

David Ramsay was also an actor in another singular scene, in which the notorious astrologer Lilly was a performer, and had no small expectation on the occasion, since he brought with him a half-quartern sack to put the treasure in.

David Ramsay was also an actor in another unique scene, where the infamous astrologer Lilly performed, and he had high hopes for the event since he brought along a half-quartern sack to collect the treasure.

“David Ramsay, his Majesty's clock-maker, had been informed that there was a great quantity of treasure buried in the cloister of Westminster Abbey. He acquaints Dean Withnam therewith, who was also then Bishop of Lincoln. The Dean gave him liberty to search after it, with this proviso, that if any was discovered, his church should have a share of it. Davy Ramsay finds out one John Scott, who pretended the use of the Mosaical rods, to assist him herein. [Footnote: The same now called, I believe, the Divining Rod, and applied to the discovery of water not obvious to the eye.] I was desired to join with him, unto which I consented. One winter's night, Davy Ramsay, with several gentlemen, myself, and Scott, entered the cloisters. We played the hazel rods round about the cloisters. Upon the west end of the cloisters the rods turned one over another, an argument that the treasure was there. The labourers digged at least six feet deep, and then we met with a coffin; but which, in regard it was not heavy, we did not open, which we afterwards much repented.

“David Ramsay, the king's clockmaker, had heard that a lot of treasure was buried in the cloister of Westminster Abbey. He informed Dean Withnam, who was also the Bishop of Lincoln at the time. The Dean allowed him to search for it, with the condition that if anything was found, his church would get a share. Davy Ramsay found a man named John Scott, who claimed to use Mosaical rods to help with the search. [Footnote: The same are now known, I believe, as the Divining Rod, which is used to find water that isn't visible.] I was asked to join him, and I agreed. One winter night, Davy Ramsay, a few gentlemen, Scott, and I went into the cloisters. We waved the hazel rods around the cloisters. At the west end of the cloisters, the rods crossed each other, indicating that the treasure was there. The workers dug down at least six feet deep, and then we found a coffin; but since it wasn't heavy, we decided not to open it, which we later regretted.

“From the cloisters we went into the abbey church, where, upon a sudden, (there being no wind when we began,) so fierce and so high, so blustering and loud a wind did rise, that we verily believed the west end of the church would have fallen upon us. Our rods would not move at all; the candles and torches, also, but one were extinguished, or burned very dimly. John Scott, my partner, was amazed, looked pale, knew not what to think or do, until I gave directions and command to dismiss the demons; which, when done, all was quiet again, and each man returned unto his lodging late, about twelve o'clock at night. I could never since be induced to join with any such like actions.

“From the cloisters, we entered the abbey church, where, all of a sudden, (there was no wind when we started,) a fierce and high wind rose up, so blustering and loud that we truly thought the west end of the church would collapse on us. Our rods wouldn’t budge at all; the candles and torches, except for one, were either extinguished or burned very dimly. John Scott, my partner, was stunned, looked pale, and didn’t know what to think or do until I instructed him to dismiss the demons; once that was done, everything went quiet again, and each person returned to their lodging late, around twelve o'clock at night. Since then, I have never been tempted to participate in similar activities.”

“The true miscarriage of the business was by reason of so many people being present at the operation; for there was about thirty, some laughing, others deriding us; so that, if we had not dismissed the demons, I believe most part of the abbey church would have been blown down. Secrecy and intelligent operators, with a strong confidence and knowledge of what they are doing, are best for the work.”—LILLY'S Life and Times, p. 46.

“The real failure of the operation was due to so many people being there; there were about thirty, some laughing and others mocking us. If we hadn’t gotten rid of the demons, I believe the majority of the abbey church would have collapsed. Secrecy and skilled operators, with strong confidence and understanding of what they’re doing, are best for the job.”—LILLY'S Life and Times, p. 46.

David Ramsay had a son called William Ramsay, who appears to have possessed all his father's credulity. He became an astrologer, and in 1651-2 published “Vox Stellarum, an Introduction to the Judgment of Eclipses and the Annual Revolutions of the World.” The edition of 1652 is inscribed, to his father. It would appear, as indeed it might be argued from his mode of disposing of his goods, that the old horologer had omitted to make hay while the sun shone; for his son, in his dedication, has this exception to the paternal virtues, “It's true your carelessness in laying up while the sun shone for the tempests of a stormy day, hath given occasion to some inferior spirited people not to value you according to what you are by nature and in yourself, for such look not to a man longer than he is in prosperity, esteeming none but for their wealth, not wisdom, power, nor virtue.” From these expressions, it is to be apprehended that while old David Ramsay, a follower of the Stewarts, sunk under the Parliamentary government, his son, William, had advanced from being a dupe to astrology to the dignity of being himself a cheat.

David Ramsay had a son named William Ramsay, who seemed to inherit all of his father's gullibility. He became an astrologer and, in 1651-52, published “Vox Stellarum, an Introduction to the Judgment of Eclipses and the Annual Revolutions of the World.” The 1652 edition is dedicated to his father. It appears, as one might argue from how he handled his assets, that the old watchmaker failed to prepare for hard times; for in his dedication, his son mentions this flaw in his father's virtues: “It's true your carelessness in saving while the sun was shining for the storms of a rainy day has led some less discerning people to undervalue you for who you truly are, since such individuals only regard a man as long as he is prosperous, valuing none for their wisdom, strength, or character.” From these words, it can be inferred that while old David Ramsay, a supporter of the Stewarts, fell under the Parliamentary government, his son, William, had progressed from being a victim of astrology to becoming a fraud himself.

Note II. p. 27.-GEORGE HERIOT

Note II. p. 27.-GEORGE HERIOT

This excellent person was but little known by his actions when alive, but we may well use, in this particular, the striking phrase of Scripture, “that being dead he yet speaketh.” We have already mentioned, in the Introduction, the splendid charity of which he was the founder; the few notices of his personal history are slight and meagre.

This remarkable person wasn't very well known for his actions during his life, but we can certainly apply the powerful words from Scripture, "that being dead he yet speaketh." As we mentioned in the Introduction, he founded a wonderful charity; the limited accounts of his personal history are minimal and lacking in detail.

George Heriot was born at Trabroun, in the parish of Gladsmuir; he was the eldest son of a goldsmith in Edinburgh, descended from a family of some consequence in East Lothian. His father enjoyed the confidence of his fellow-citizens, and was their representative in Parliament. He was, besides, one of the deputies sent by the inhabitants of the city to propitiate the King, when he had left Edinburgh abruptly, after the riot of 17th December, 1596.

George Heriot was born in Trabroun, in the parish of Gladsmuir; he was the oldest son of a goldsmith in Edinburgh, coming from a family of some standing in East Lothian. His father had the trust of his fellow citizens and was their representative in Parliament. He was also one of the deputies sent by the city's residents to smooth things over with the King when he suddenly left Edinburgh after the riot on December 17, 1596.

George Heriot, the son, pursued his father's occupation of a goldsmith, then peculiarly lucrative, and much connected with that of a money-broker. He enjoyed the favour and protection of James, and of his consort, Anne of Denmark. He married, for his first wife, a maiden of his own rank, named Christian Marjoribanks, daughter of a respectable burgess. This was in 1586. He was afterwards named jeweller to the Queen, whose account to him for a space of ten years amounted to nearly L40,000. George Heriot, having lost his wife, connected himself with the distinguished house of Rosebery, by marrying a daughter of James Primrose, Clerk to the Privy Council. Of this lady he was deprived by her dying in child-birth in 1612, before attaining her twenty-first year. After a life spent in honourable and successful industry, George Heriot died in London, to which city he had followed his royal master, on the 12th February, 1624, at the age of sixty-one years. His picture, (copied by Scougal from a lost original,) in which he is represented in the prime of life, is thus described: “His fair hair, which overshades the thoughtful brow and calm calculating eye, with the cast of humour on the lower part of the countenance, are all indicative of the genuine Scottish character, and well distinguish a person fitted to move steadily and wisely through the world, with a strength of resolution to ensure success, and a disposition to enjoy it.”—Historical and Descriptive Account of Heriot's Hospital, with a Memoir of the Founder, by Messrs James and John Johnstone. Edinburgh, 1827.

George Heriot, the son, took up his father's trade as a goldsmith, which was quite profitable at the time and closely linked to the business of money-broking. He had the favor and protection of James and his wife, Anne of Denmark. For his first wife, he married a woman of his own social standing named Christian Marjoribanks, the daughter of a respected burgess, in 1586. Later on, he was appointed jeweller to the Queen, and over ten years, her orders amounted to nearly £40,000. After losing his first wife, he connected with the notable family of Rosebery by marrying a daughter of James Primrose, Clerk to the Privy Council. Sadly, she passed away in childbirth in 1612, before reaching her twenty-first birthday. After a life devoted to honorable and prosperous work, George Heriot died in London, where he had followed his royal master, on February 12, 1624, at the age of sixty-one. His portrait, copied by Scougal from a lost original, depicts him in the prime of his life and is described as follows: “His fair hair, which frames a thoughtful brow and calm calculating eye, along with a hint of humor on the lower part of his face, all reflect the true Scottish character and portray a person ready to navigate the world wisely and steadily, with the determination to achieve success and the ability to enjoy it.” —Historical and Descriptive Account of Heriot's Hospital, with a Memoir of the Founder, by Messrs James and John Johnstone. Edinburgh, 1827.

I may add, as every thing concerning George Heriot is interesting, that his second wife, Alison Primrose, was interred in Saint Gregory's Church, from the register of which parish the Rev. Mr. Barham, Rector, has, in the kindest manner, sent me the following extract:—“Mrs. Alison, the wife of Mr. George Heriot, gentleman, 20th April, 1612.” Saint Gregory's, before the Great Fire of London which consumed the Cathedral, formed one of the towers of old Saint Paul's, and occupied the space of ground now filled by Queen Anne's statue. In the south aisle of the choir Mrs. Heriot reposed under a handsome monument, bearing the following inscription:—

I should mention, since everything about George Heriot is fascinating, that his second wife, Alison Primrose, was buried in Saint Gregory's Church. The Rev. Mr. Barham, the Rector, kindly sent me this extract from the parish register: “Mrs. Alison, the wife of Mr. George Heriot, gentleman, April 20, 1612.” Before the Great Fire of London destroyed the Cathedral, Saint Gregory's was part of the old Saint Paul's towers, sitting where Queen Anne's statue now stands. In the south aisle of the choir, Mrs. Heriot was laid to rest beneath an impressive monument with the following inscription:—

“Sanctissimae et charissimae conjugi ALISONAE HERIOT, Jacobi Primrosii, Regia Majestatis in Sanctiori Concilio Regni Scotia Amanuensis, filiae, fernina omnibus turn animi turn corporis dotibus, ac pio cultu instructissimae, maestissimus ipsius maritus GEORGIUS HERIOT, ARMIGER, Regis, Reginae, Principum Henrici et Caroli Gemmarius, bene merenti, non sine lachrymis, hoc Monumentum pie posuit.

“To my most holy and beloved wife ALISON HERIOT, daughter of James Primrose, Royal Majesty's Clerk in the Sacred Council of the Kingdom of Scotland, endowed with all the gifts of both mind and body, and most devoted in piety, her deeply grieving husband GEORGE HERIOT, GENTLEMAN, Jeweler to the King, Queen, and Princes Henry and Charles, who rightly deserves this tribute, has placed this monument with tears.”

“Obiit Mensis Aprilis die 16, anno salutis 1612, aetatis 20, in ipso flore juventae, et mihi, parentibus, et amicis tristissimum sui desiderium reliquit.

“Died on April 16, in the year of our Lord 1612, at the age of 20, in the prime of youth, and left behind a most sorrowful longing for him in me, his parents, and friends.

 Hic Alicia Primrosa
 Jacet crudo abruta fato,
 Intempestivas
 Ut rosa pressa manus.
 Nondum bisdenos
 Annorum impleverat orbes,
 Pulchra, pudica,
 Patris delicium atque viri:
 Quum gravida, heu! Nunquam
 Mater, decessit, et inde
 Cura dolorq: Patri,
 Cura dolorq: viro.
 Non sublata tamen
 Tantum translata recessit;
 Nunc Rosa prima Poli
 Quae fuit antea soli.”
 
Hic Alicia Primrosa  
Lies cut down by cruel fate,  
Untimely  
Like a rose pressed by a hand.  
She had not yet completed  
Two dozen years,  
Beautiful, modest,  
The delight of her father and husband:  
When pregnant, alas! Never  
Did she become a mother, and then  
Care and pain for her father,  
Care and pain for her husband.  
Yet she did not fade away  
But only moved on;  
Now the first Rose of the Sky  
Which once was a rose of the earth.

The loss of a young, beautiful, and amiable partner, at a period so interesting, was the probable reason of her husband devoting his fortune to a charitable institution. The epitaph occurs in Strype's edition of Stewe's Survey of London, Book iii., page 228.

The loss of a young, beautiful, and kind partner during such an important time was likely why her husband dedicated his fortune to a charitable organization. The epitaph can be found in Strype's edition of Stewe's Survey of London, Book iii., page 228.

Note III. p. 39.—PROCLAMATION AGAINST THE SCOTS COMING TO ENGLAND

Note III. p. 39.—PROCLAMATION AGAINST THE SCOTS ENTERING ENGLAND

The English agreed in nothing more unanimously than in censuring James on account of the beggarly rabble which not only attended the King at his coming first out of Scotland, “but,” says Osborne, “which, through his whole reign, like a fluent spring, were found still crossing the Tweed.” Yet it is certain, from the number of proclamations published by the Privy Council in Scotland, and bearing marks of the King's own diction, that he was sensible of the whole inconveniences and unpopularity attending the importunate crowd of disrespectable suitors, and as desirous to get rid of them as his Southern subjects could be. But it was in vain that his Majesty argued with his Scottish subjects on the disrespect they were bringing on their native country and sovereign, by causing the English to suppose there were no well-nurtured or independent gentry in Scotland, they who presented themselves being, in the opinion and conceit of all beholders, “but idle rascals, and poor miserable bodies.” It was even in vain that the vessels which brought up this unwelcome cargo of petitioners were threatened with fine and confiscation; the undaunted suitors continued to press forward, and, as one of the proclamations says, many of them under pretence of requiring payment of “auld debts due to them by the King,” which, it is observed with great naivete, “is, of all kinds of importunity, most unpleasing to his Majesty.” The expressions in the text are selected from these curious proclamations.

The English were united in their criticism of James because of the lowly crowd that not only accompanied the King when he first came out of Scotland, “but,” as Osborne says, “which, throughout his entire reign, continued to cross the Tweed like an endless stream.” Yet it’s clear, from the many proclamations issued by the Privy Council in Scotland, which reflect the King’s own words, that he recognized all the issues and unpopularity caused by this persistent group of unworthy petitioners, and he wanted to be rid of them as much as his Southern subjects did. However, his attempts to reason with his Scottish subjects about the embarrassment they were bringing to their homeland and their monarch—by leading the English to believe there were no respectable or independent gentry in Scotland, since those who showed up were, in the eyes of everyone, “just idle rascals and poor miserable people”—were futile. It was even useless to threaten the ships bringing this unwelcome influx of petitioners with fines and confiscation; the relentless suitors kept coming, and, as one of the proclamations notes, many of them claimed to be demanding payment for “old debts owed to them by the King,” which is pointed out with a certain naivete, “is, of all kinds of importunity, the most displeasing to his Majesty.” The phrases in the text are taken from these intriguing proclamations.

NOTE IV. p. 59.—KING JAMES

NOTE IV. p. 59.—KING JAMES

The dress of this monarch, together with his personal appearance, is thus described by a contemporary:—

The outfit of this king, along with his looks, is described by someone from his time:—

“He was of a middle stature, more corpulent through [i.e. by means of] his clothes than in his body, yet fat enough. His legs were very weak, having had, as was thought, some foul play in his youth, or rather before he was born, that he was not able to stand at seven years of age. That weakness made him ever leaning on other men's shoulders. His walk was even circular; his hands are in that walk ever fiddling about——[a part of dress now laid aside]. He would make a great deal too bold with God in his passion, both with cursing and swearing, and a strain higher verging on blasphemy; but would, in his better temper, say, he hoped God would not impute them as sins, and lay them to his charge, seeing they proceeded from passion. He had need of great assistance, rather than hope, that would daily make thus bold with God.”—DALZELL'S Sketches of Scottish History , p. 86.

“He was of average height, a bit bulkier due to his clothes than his actual body, but still quite overweight. His legs were very weak, likely because of some injury or issue before he was born, leaving him unable to stand at seven years old. This weakness meant he constantly leaned on other people for support. He walked with a sort of circular motion, and his hands were always fidgeting while he walked—something he used to do with a part of his outfit that he no longer wore. He often spoke rather boldly to God when he got angry, using curses and swearing that bordered on blasphemy. However, in a calmer mood, he would say he hoped God wouldn’t count those outbursts as sins, since they came from his frustration. He really needed serious help, rather than just hope, to act so boldly with God every day.” —DALZELL'S Sketches of Scottish History , p. 86.

NOTE V. p. 78.—SIR MUNGO MALAGROWTHER

NOTE V. p. 78.—SIR MUNGO MALAGROWTHER

It will perhaps be recognised by some of my countrymen, that the caustic Scottish knight, as described in the preceding chapter, borrowed some of his attributes from a most worthy and respectable baronet, who was to be met with in Edinburgh society about twenty-five or thirty years ago. It is not by any means to be inferred, that the living person resembled the imaginary one in the course of life ascribed to him, or in his personal attributes. But his fortune was little adequate to his rank and the antiquity of his family; and, to avenge himself of this disparity, the worthy baronet lost no opportunity of making the more avowed sons of fortune feel the edge of his satire. This he had the art of disguising under the personal infirmity of deafness, and usually introduced his most severe things by an affected mistake of what was said around him. For example, at a public meeting of a certain county, this worthy gentleman had chosen to display a laced coat, of such a pattern as had not been seen in society for the better part of a century. The young men who were present amused themselves with rallying him on his taste, when he suddenly singled out one of the party:—“Auld d'ye think my coat—auld-fashioned?—indeed it canna be new; but it was the wark of a braw tailor, and that was your grandfather, who was at the head of the trade in Edinburgh about the beginning of last century.” Upon another occasion, when this type of Sir Mungo Malagrowther happened to hear a nobleman, the high chief of one of those Border clans who were accused of paying very little attention in ancient times to the distinctions of Meum and Tuum, addressing a gentleman of the same name, as if conjecturing there should be some relationship between them, he volunteered to ascertain the nature of the connexion by saying, that the “chief's ancestors had stolen the cows, and the other gentleman's ancestors had killed them,”—fame ascribing the origin of the latter family to a butcher. It may be well imagined, that among a people that have been always punctilious about genealogy, such a person, who had a general acquaintance with all the flaws and specks in the shields of the proud, the pretending, and the nouveaux riches, must have had the same scope for amusement as a monkey in a china shop.

It might be recognized by some of my fellow countrymen that the sharp-witted Scottish knight mentioned in the previous chapter took on some traits from a very respectable baronet who was part of Edinburgh society about twenty-five or thirty years ago. It shouldn’t be assumed that the real person resembled the fictional one in the lifestyle attributed to him or in his personal traits. However, his wealth was hardly proportional to his status and the long history of his family. To compensate for this imbalance, the baronet took every chance to make the more prominent wealthy individuals feel the sting of his wit. He skillfully concealed it behind his partial deafness and usually prefaced his harsh comments with an exaggerated misunderstanding of what was being said nearby. For instance, at a public county meeting, this gentleman chose to flaunt a laced coat that had not been seen in society for nearly a century. The young men present enjoyed teasing him about his style when he suddenly focused on one of them: “Old fellow, do you think my coat is out-of-date?—well, it can’t be new; but it was made by a talented tailor, your grandfather, who was the best in Edinburgh at the beginning of the last century.” On another occasion, when this version of Sir Mungo Malagrowther overheard a nobleman, the high chief of one of those Border clans known for having little regard for the distinctions of Meum and Tuum, speaking to a gentleman with the same name, he volunteered to figure out their connection by declaring that the “chief's ancestors had stolen the cows, and the other gentleman's ancestors had killed them,” with reputation linking the latter family to butchers. It can easily be imagined that among a people obsessed with genealogy, such a person, who had a keen knowledge of all the faults and blemishes in the coats of arms of the proud, the pretentious, and the newly rich, must have found as much enjoyment as a monkey in a china shop.

Note VI. p. 98.—MRS. ANNE TURNER

Note VI. p. 98.—MRS. ANNE TURNER

Mrs. Anne Turner was a dame somewhat of the occupation of Mrs. Suddlechop in the text; that is, half milliner half procuress, and secret agent in all manner of proceedings. She was a trafficker in the poisoning of Sir Thomas Overbury, for which so many subordinate agents lost their lives, while, to the great scandal of justice, the Earl of Somerset and his Countess were suffered to escape, upon a threat of Somerset to make public some secret which nearly affected his master, King James. Mrs. Turner introduced into England a French custom of using yellow starch in getting up bands and cuffs, and, by Lord Coke's orders, she appeared in that fashion at the place of execution. She was the widow of a physician, and had been eminently beautiful, as appears from the description of her in the poem called Overbury's Vision. There was produced in court a parcel of dolls or puppets belonging to this lady, some naked, some dressed, and which she used for exhibiting fashions upon. But, greatly to the horror of the spectators, who accounted these figures to be magical devices, there was, on their being shown, “heard a crack from the scaffold, which caused great fear, tumult, and confusion, among the spectators and throughout the hall, every one fearing hurt, as if the devil had been present, and grown angry to have his workmanship showed to such as were not his own scholars.” Compare this curious passage in the History of King James for the First Fourteen Years, 1651, with the Aulicus Coquinarius of Dr. Heylin. Both works are published in the Secret History of King James.

Mrs. Anne Turner was a woman somewhat like Mrs. Suddlechop in the text; she was part milliner, part madam, and a secret agent in all sorts of dealings. She was involved in the poisoning of Sir Thomas Overbury, for which many less important accomplices lost their lives, while, to the great shame of justice, the Earl of Somerset and his Countess managed to escape after Somerset threatened to reveal a secret that greatly concerned his master, King James. Mrs. Turner brought a French trend of using yellow starch for creating ruffles and cuffs to England, and, by Lord Coke's orders, she wore that style at the place of execution. She was the widow of a physician and had once been extremely beautiful, as described in the poem called Overbury's Vision. In court, a collection of dolls or puppets belonging to her was presented, some naked, some dressed, which she used to display fashions. However, to the horror of the onlookers, who believed these figures to be magical devices, when they were shown, there was “a crack from the scaffold, which caused great fear, turmoil, and confusion among the audience and throughout the hall, with everyone fearing harm, as if the devil himself had been present and angered at having his handiwork shown to those who were not his own pupils.” Compare this intriguing passage in the History of King James for the First Fourteen Years, 1651, with the Aulicus Coquinarius by Dr. Heylin. Both works are published in the Secret History of King James.

Note VII. p. 110.—LORD HUNTINGLEN

Note VII. p. 110.—LORD HUNTINGLEN

The credit of having rescued James I. from the dagger of Alexander Ruthven, is here fictitiously ascribed to an imaginary Lord Huntinglen. In reality, as may be read in every history, his preserver was John Ramsay, afterwards created Earl of Holderness, who stabbed the younger Ruthven with his dagger while he was struggling with the King. Sir Anthony Weldon informs us, that, upon the annual return of the day, the King's deliverance was commemorated by an anniversary feast. The time was the fifth of August, “upon which,” proceeds the satirical historian, “Sir John Ramsay, for his good service in that preservation, was the principal guest, and so did the King grant him any boon he would ask that day. But he had such limitation made to his asking, as made his suit as unprofitable, as the action for which he asked it for was unserviceable to the King.”

The credit for saving James I from Alexander Ruthven’s dagger is falsely attributed here to a fictional Lord Huntinglen. In reality, as you can read in every history book, his savior was John Ramsay, who later became the Earl of Holderness. Ramsay stabbed the younger Ruthven with his dagger while struggling to protect the King. Sir Anthony Weldon tells us that every year on the anniversary of that day, they celebrated the King’s rescue with a feast. The date was August 5th, “on which,” the satirical historian continues, “Sir John Ramsay, for his brave act in that rescue, was the guest of honor, and the King allowed him to request any favor he wanted that day. But there were such restrictions on his request that it made his plea as useless as the act for which he asked was of no benefit to the King.”

Note VIII. p. 115.—BUCKINGHAM

Note VIII. p. 115.—BUCKINGHAM

Buckingham, who had a frankness in his high and irascible ambition, was always ready to bid defiance to those by whom he was thwarted or opposed. He aspired to be created Prince of Tipperary in Ireland, and Lord High Constable of England. Coventry, then Lord Keeper, opposed what seemed such an unreasonable extent of power as was annexed to the office of Constable. On this opposition, according to Sir Anthony Weldon, “the Duke peremptorily accosted Coventry, 'Who made you Lord Keeper, Coventry?' He replied, 'The King.' Buckingham replied, 'It's false; 'twas I did make you, and you shall know that I, who made you, can, and will, unmake you.' Coventry thus answered him, 'Did I conceive that I held my place by your favour, I would presently unmake myself, by rendering up the seals to his Majesty.' Then Buckingham, in a scorn and fury, flung from him, saying, 'You shall not keep it long;' and surely, had not Felton prevented him, he had made good his word.”—WELDON'S Court of King James and Charles.

Buckingham, who was straightforward in his intense and fiery ambition, was always ready to stand up against those who opposed him. He wanted to be named Prince of Tipperary in Ireland and Lord High Constable of England. Coventry, who was the Lord Keeper at the time, objected to what seemed like an unreasonable amount of power tied to the Constable position. In response to this resistance, according to Sir Anthony Weldon, “the Duke confronted Coventry directly, 'Who made you Lord Keeper, Coventry?' He replied, 'The King.' Buckingham shot back, 'That's not true; I made you, and I want you to know that I, who made you, can and will unmake you.' Coventry responded, 'If I thought I held my position because of your favor, I would immediately unmake myself by giving the seals back to His Majesty.' Buckingham, filled with disdain and anger, stormed away, saying, 'You won’t hold it for long;' and surely, had Felton not intervened, he would have fulfilled his threat.”—WELDON'S Court of King James and Charles.

 Note IX. p. 134.—PAGES IN THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY
Note IX. p. 134.—PAGES IN THE 1600s

About this time the ancient customs arising from the long prevalence of chivalry, began to be grossly varied from the original purposes of the institution. None was more remarkable than the change which took place in the breeding and occupation of pages. This peculiar species of menial originally consisted of youths of noble birth, who, that they might be trained to the exercise of arms, were early removed from their paternal homes, where too much indulgence might have been expected, to be placed in the family of some prince or man of rank and military renown, where they served, as it were, an apprenticeship to the duties of chivalry and courtesy. Their education was severely moral, and pursued with great strictness in respect to useful exercises, and what were deemed elegant accomplishments. From being pages, they were advanced to the next gradation of squires; from squires, these candidates for the honours of knighthood were frequently made knights.

Around this time, the old customs from the long-standing tradition of chivalry started to dramatically change from their original intentions. One of the most notable changes was in the breeding and roles of pages. This unique group of servants initially included young men of noble birth, who were taken from their homes at an early age to avoid excessive pampering. They were placed in the households of princes or distinguished military leaders, where they served as an apprenticeship for the duties of chivalry and manners. Their education was strictly focused on moral values and involved rigorous training in practical skills, as well as what were considered refined accomplishments. After being pages, they would be promoted to the next level of squires; from squires, these aspirants for knighthood were often made knights.

But in the sixteenth century the page had become, in many instances, a mere domestic, who sometimes, by the splendour of his address and appearance, was expected to make up in show for the absence of a whole band of retainers with swords and bucklers. We have Sir John's authority when he cashiers part of his train.

But in the sixteenth century, the page had often turned into just a servant who, at times, was expected to compensate for the lack of a whole group of attendants with swords and shields by showcasing a grand appearance and manner. We have Sir John's testimony when he dismisses part of his entourage.

   “Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,
    French thrift, you rogues, myself and skirted page.”
 
   “Falstaff will understand the vibe of the times,  
    French frugality, you tricksters, me and my dressed-up servant.”

Jonson, in a high tone of moral indignation, thus reprobated the change. The Host of the New Inn replies to Lord Lovel, who asks to have his son for a page, that he would, with his own hands hang him, sooner

Jonson, with a strong sense of moral outrage, condemned the change. The Host of the New Inn responds to Lord Lovel, who requests to have his son as a page, saying that he would, with his own hands, hang him instead.

  “Than damn him to this desperate course of life.
     LOVEL. Call you that desperate, which, by a line
   Of institution, from our ancestors
   Hath been derived down to us, and received
   In a succession, for the noblest way
   Of brushing up our youth, in letters, arms,
   Fair mien, discourses civil, exercise,
   And all the blazon of a gentleman?
   Where can he learn to vault, to ride, to fence,
   To move his body gracefully, to speak
   The language pure, or to turn his mind
   Or manners more to the harmony of nature,
   Than in these nurseries of nobility?
     HOST. Ay, that was when the nursery's self was noble,
   And only virtue made it, not the market,
   That titles were not vended at the drum
   And common outcry; goodness gave the greatness,
   And greatness worship; every house became
   An academy, and those parts
   We see departed in the practice now
   Quite from the institution.
     LOVEL. Why do you say so,
   Or think so enviously? do they not still
   Learn us the Centaur's skill, the art of Thrace,
   To ride? or Pollux' mystery, to fence?
   The Pyrrhick gestures, both to stand and spring
   In armour; to be active for the wars;
   To study figures, numbers and proportions,
   May yield them great in counsels and the art;
   To make their English sweet upon their tongue?
   As reverend Chaucer says.
     HOST. Sir, you mistake;
   To play Sir Pandarus, my copy hath it,
   And carry messages to Madam Cressid;
   Instead of backing the brave steed o'mornings.
   To kiss the chambermaid, and for a leap
   O' the vaulting horse, to ply the vaulting house;
   For exercise of arms a bale of dice,
   And two or three packs of cards to show the cheat
   And nimbleness of hand; mistake a cloak
   From my lord's back, and pawn it; ease his pockets
   Of a superfluous watch, or geld a jewel
   Of an odd stone or so; twinge three or four buttons
   From off my lady's gown: These are the arts,
   Or seven liberal deadly sciences,
   Of pagery, or rather paganism,
   As the tides run; to which, if he apply him,
   He may, perhaps, take a degree at Tyburn,
   A year the earlier come to read a lecture
   Upon Aquinas, at Saint Thomas-a-Watering's
   And so go forth a laureate in hemp-circle.”
                             The New Inn, Act I.
  “Then damn him to this desperate way of living.
     LOVEL. You call this desperate, which, by a line
   Of tradition from our ancestors,
   Has been passed down to us, and received
   In a succession, as the noblest way
   Of refining our youth, in education, martial skills,
   Good looks, polite conversation, practice,
   And all the traits of a gentleman?
   Where else can he learn to jump, to ride, to fence,
   To move gracefully, to speak
   The pure language, or to shape his mind
   Or manners to be more in tune with nature,
   Than in these schools of nobility?
     HOST. Yes, but that was when the nursery itself was noble,
   And only virtue made it so, not the marketplace,
   That titles weren’t sold at the drum
   And public shout; goodness gave the greatness,
   And greatness received worship; every house became
   An academy, and those aspects
   We now see lacking in practice
   Have drifted far from the original intent.
     LOVEL. Why do you say that,
   Or think that way with envy? Don’t they still
   Teach us the Centaur's skill, the Thracian art,
   To ride? Or Pollux’s skill in fencing?
   The Pyrrhic movements, both to stand and leap
   In armor; to be active for war;
   To study figures, numbers, and proportions,
   Can make them great in counsel and craft;
   To make their English sweet on their tongue?
   As the revered Chaucer says.
     HOST. Sir, you’re mistaken;
   To play Sir Pandarus, my script has it,
   And deliver messages to Madam Cressid;
   Instead of riding the fine horse in the mornings,
   To kiss the chambermaid, and for a jump
   On the vaulting horse, to practice at the gym;
   For training in arms, a pile of dice,
   And two or three decks of cards to show off
   Skill and quickness of hand; to steal a cloak
   Off my lord's back, and pawn it; lighten his pockets
   Of an unnecessary watch, or take a jewel
   Of an odd stone or two; pinch three or four buttons
   Off my lady's gown: These are the skills,
   Or the seven liberal deadly sciences,
   Of paganism, or rather paganism,
   As the tides run; if he pursues this,
   He might, perhaps, earn a degree at Tyburn,
   A year earlier than reading a lecture
   On Aquinas, at Saint Thomas-a-Watering's
   And so go forth a laureate in hemp.”
                             The New Inn, Act I.

Note X. p. 135.—LORD HENRY HOWARD

Note X. p. 135.—LORD HENRY HOWARD

Lord Henry Howard was the second son of the poetical Earl of Surrey, and possessed considerable parts and learning. He wrote, in the year 1583, a book called, A Defensative against the Poison of supposed Prophecies. He gained the favour of Queen Elizabeth, by having, he says, directed his battery against a sect of prophets and pretended soothsayers, whom he accounted infesti regibus, as he expresses it. In the last years of the Queen, he became James's most ardent partisan, and conducted with great pedantry, but much intrigue, the correspondence betwixt the Scottish King and the younger Cecil. Upon James's accession, he was created Earl of Northampton, and Lord Privy Seal. According to De Beaumont the French Ambassador, Lord Henry Howard, was one of the greatest flatterers and calumniators that ever lived.

Lord Henry Howard was the second son of the poetic Earl of Surrey and was known for his considerable talent and knowledge. In 1583, he wrote a book titled A Defensative against the Poison of supposed Prophecies. He won the favor of Queen Elizabeth by claiming to have targeted a group of prophets and fake fortune-tellers, whom he considered infesti regibus, as he put it. In the later years of the Queen’s reign, he became James's most passionate supporter, managing the correspondence between the Scottish King and the younger Cecil with a mix of pedantry and intrigue. When James ascended to the throne, he was made Earl of Northampton and Lord Privy Seal. According to De Beaumont, the French Ambassador, Lord Henry Howard was one of the greatest flatterers and slanderers to ever exist.

Note XI. p. 136.—SKIRMISHES IN THE PUBLIC STREETS

Note XI. p. 136.—SKIRMISHES IN THE PUBLIC STREETS

Edinburgh appears to have been one of the most disorderly towns in Europe, during the sixteenth and beginning of the seventeenth century. The Diary of the honest citizen Birrel, repeatedly records such incidents as the following: “The 24 of November (1567), at two afternoon, the Laird of Airth and the Laird of Weems met on the High Gate of Edinburgh, and they and their followers fought a very bloody skirmish, where there were many hurt on both sides with shot of pistol.” These skirmishes also took place in London itself. In Shadwell's play of The Scowrers, an old rake thus boasts of his early exploits:—“I knew the Hectors, and before them the Muns, and the Tityretu's; they were brave fellows indeed! In these days, a man could not go from the Rose Garden to the Piazza once, but he must venture his life twice, my dear Sir Willie.” But it appears that the affrays, which, in the Scottish capital, arose out of hereditary quarrels and ancient feuds, were in London the growth of the licentiousness and arrogance of young debauchees.

Edinburgh seemed to be one of the most chaotic towns in Europe during the sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries. The diary of the honest citizen Birrel often records incidents like this: “On November 24, 1567, at two in the afternoon, the Laird of Airth and the Laird of Weems met at the High Gate of Edinburgh, and they and their followers fought a very bloody skirmish, where many were hurt on both sides from gunshots.” These skirmishes also happened in London itself. In Shadwell's play The Scowrers, an old rake boasts about his past exploits: “I knew the Hectors, and before them the Muns, and the Tityretu's; they were truly brave men! Back then, you couldn't walk from the Rose Garden to the Piazza without risking your life twice, my dear Sir Willie.” However, it seems that the fights in the Scottish capital stemmed from hereditary disputes and ancient grudges, while in London, they were fueled by the reckless behavior and arrogance of young debauchers.

Note XII. p. 144.—FRENCH COOKERY

French Cooking

The exertion of French ingenuity mentioned in the text is noticed by some authorities of the period; the siege of Leith was also distinguished by the protracted obstinacy of the besieged, in which was displayed all that the age possessed of defensive war, so that Brantome records that those who witnessed this siege, had, from that very circumstance, a degree of consequence yielded to their persons and opinions. He tells a story of Strozzi himself, from which it appears that his jests lay a good deal in the line of the cuisine. He caused a mule to be stolen from one Brusquet, on whom he wished to play a trick, and served up the flesh of that unclean animal so well disguised, that it passed with Brusquet for venison.

The effort of French creativity mentioned in the text is acknowledged by some authorities of the time; the siege of Leith was also marked by the stubborn resistance of those trapped inside, showcasing all the defensive strategies of the era. Brantome notes that those who witnessed the siege gained a certain status due to that very fact. He even shares a story about Strozzi himself, illustrating that his humor often revolved around food. He had a mule stolen from a guy named Brusquet, intending to play a prank, and prepared the meat from that unclean animal so skillfully that Brusquet believed it was venison.

Note XIII. p. 145.—CUCKOO'S NEST

Cuckoo's Nest

The quarrel in this chapter between the pretended captain and the citizen of London, is taken from a burlesque poem called The Counter Scuffle, that is, the Scuffle in the Prison at Wood street, so called. It is a piece of low humour, which had at the time very considerable vogue. The prisoners, it seems, had fallen into a dispute amongst themselves “which calling was of most repute,” and a lawyer put in his claim to be most highly considered. The man of war repelled his pretence with much arrogance.

The argument in this chapter between the fake captain and the London citizen comes from a humorous poem called The Counter Scuffle, specifically the Scuffle in the Prison at Wood Street, as it’s known. It's a work of low humor that was quite popular at the time. The prisoners, it appears, were having a debate among themselves about “which profession was the most respected,” and a lawyer claimed he should be the most esteemed. The soldier dismissed his assertion with a lot of arrogance.

   “'Wer't not for us, thou swad,' quoth he,
    'Where wouldst thou fay to get a fee?
    But to defend such things as thee
            'Tis pity;
    For such as you esteem us least,
    Who ever have been ready prest
    To guard you and your cuckoo's nest,
            The City'”
 
   “'If it weren't for us, you fool,' he said,  
    'Where would you find a way to get paid?  
    But to protect things like you  
            It's a shame;  
    For people like you think the least of us,  
    Who have always been ready and willing  
    To defend you and your foolishness,  
            The City'”

The offence is no sooner given than it is caught up by a gallant citizen, a goldsmith, named Ellis.

The offense is barely committed before it's noticed by a brave citizen, a goldsmith named Ellis.

  “'Of London city I am free,
    And there I first my wife did see,
    And for that very cause,' said he,
            'I love it.

    And he that calls it cuckoo's nest,
    Except he say he speaks in jest,
    He is a villain and a beast,—
            'I'll prove it!

    For though I am a man of trade,
    And free of London city made,
    Yet can I use gun, bill, and blade,
            In battle.

    And citizens, if need require,
    Themselves can force the foe retire,
    Whatever this low country squire
             May prattle.'”
 
 “'I’m free in the city of London,  
    And that’s where I first saw my wife,  
    And for that reason,' he said,  
            'I love it.  

    And anyone who calls it a cuckoo's nest,  
    Unless they’re joking,  
    Is a scoundrel and a monster—  
            'I’ll prove it!  

    For even though I’m a tradesman,  
    And made free in the city of London,  
    I can still use a gun, a sword, and a blade,  
            In battle.  

    And citizens, if the need arises,  
    Can drive the enemy away,  
    No matter what this country squire  
            Might babble about.'”  

The dispute terminates in the scuffle, which is the subject of the poem. The whole may be found in the second edition of Dryden's Miscellany, 12mo, vol. iii. 1716.

The argument ends in a fight, which is the focus of the poem. The entire piece can be found in the second edition of Dryden's Miscellany, 12mo, vol. iii. 1716.

Note XIV. p. 150.—BURBAGE

Note XIV. p. 150.—BURBAGE

Burbage, whom Camden terms another Roscius, was probably the original representative of Richard III., and seems to have been early almost identified with his prototype. Bishop Corbet, in his Iter Boreale, tells us that mine host of Market Bosworth was full of ale and history.

Burbage, whom Camden refers to as another Roscius, was likely the original actor for Richard III and seems to have been closely associated with his character from the start. Bishop Corbet, in his Iter Boreale, tells us that the innkeeper of Market Bosworth was full of ale and stories.

  “Hear him, See you yon wood? there Richard lay
   With his whole army; look the other way,
   And lo, where Richmond, in a field of gorse,
   Encamp'd himself in might and all his force.
   Upon this hill they met. Why, he could tell
   The inch where Richmond stood, where Richard fell;
   Besides, what of his knowledge he could say,
   He had authentic notice from the play,
   Which I might guess by's mustering up the ghosts
   And policies not incident to hosts;
   But chiefly by that one perspicuous thing,
   Where he mistook a player for a king,
   For when he would have said, that Richard died,
   And call'd, a horse! a horse! he Burbage cried.”

            RICHARD CORBET'S Poems, Edition 1815, p. 193.
  “Listen, do you see that forest over there? That’s where Richard had his entire army. Look the other way, and there’s Richmond, camping in a field of gorse with all his strength. They met on this hill. He could even pinpoint the exact spot where Richmond stood and where Richard fell; plus, from what he knew, he had reliable information from the performance, which I could tell by the way he summoned the ghosts and strategies that aren’t usually part of battles. But mainly, by that clear mistake where he confused an actor for a king, because when he meant to say that Richard died, he shouted, a horse! a horse! and Burbage called out.”

            RICHARD CORBET'S Poems, Edition 1815, p. 193.

Note XV. p. 323.—MHIC-ALLASTAR-MORE

Note XV. p. 323.—Mícheál Allastar Mor

This is the Highland patronymic of the late gallant Chief of Glengarry. The allusion in the text is to an unnecessary alarm taken by some lady, at the ceremonial of the coronation of George IV., at the sight of the pistols which the Chief wore as a part of his Highland dress. The circumstance produced some confusion, which was talked of at the time. All who knew Glengarry (and the author knew him well) were aware that his principles were of devoted loyalty to the person of his sovereign.

This is the Highland family name of the late brave Chief of Glengarry. The reference in the text is to an unnecessary panic caused by a lady during the coronation ceremony of George IV, upon seeing the pistols that the Chief wore as part of his Highland outfit. This situation caused some confusion that became a topic of conversation at the time. Everyone who knew Glengarry (and the author knew him well) understood that he was deeply loyal to his sovereign.

Note XVI. p. 323.—KING JAMES'S HUNTING BOTTLE

Note XVI. p. 323.—KING JAMES'S HUNTING BOTTLE

Roger Coke, in his Detection of the Court and State of England, London, 1697, p.70, observes of James I., “The king was excessively addicted to hunting, and drinking, not ordinary French and Spanish wines, but strong Greek wines, and thought he would compound his hunting with these wines; and to that purpose, he was attended by a special officer, who was, as much as he could be, always at hand to fill the King's cup in hunting when he called for it. I have heard my father say, that, hunting with the King, after the King had drank of the wine, he also drank of it; and though he was young, and of a healthful disposition, it so deranged his head that it spoiled his pleasure and disordered him for three days after. Whether it was from drinking these wines, or from some other cause, the King became so lazy and so unwieldy, that he was trussed on horseback, and as he was set, so would he ride, without stirring himself in the saddle; nay, when his hat was set upon his head he would not take the trouble to alter it, but it sate as it was put on.”

Roger Coke, in his Detection of the Court and State of England, London, 1697, p.70, notes about James I., “The king was extremely fond of hunting and drinking, not just regular French and Spanish wines, but strong Greek wines, and he thought he could enjoy hunting while drinking these wines; for this reason, he had a special officer who was always nearby to fill the King's cup while hunting whenever he asked for it. I’ve heard my father say that, while hunting with the King, after the King had drunk the wine, he drank some too; and although he was young and healthy, it messed with his head so much that it ruined his enjoyment and left him feeling off for three days afterward. Whether it was from drinking those wines or something else, the King got so lazy and heavy that he had to be strapped onto his horse, and once he was set up, he would ride without moving around in the saddle; in fact, when his hat was placed on his head, he wouldn’t even bother to adjust it, but it stayed just as it was put on.”

The trussing, for which the demipique saddle of the day afforded particular facility, is alluded to in the text; and the author, among other nickcnacks of antiquity, possesses a leathern flask, like those carried by sportsmen, which is labelled, “King James's Hunting Bottle,” with what authenticity is uncertain. Coke seems to have exaggerated the King's taste for the bottle. Welldon says James was not intemperate in his drinking; “However, in his old age, Buckingham's jovial suppers, when he had any turn to do with him, made him sometimes overtaken, which he would the next day remember, and repent with tears. It is true he drank very often, which was rather out of a custom than any delight; and his drinks were of that kind for strength, as Frontiniack, Canary, high country wine, tent wine, and Scottish ale, that had he not had a very strong brain, he might have been daily overtaken, though he seldom drank at any one time above four spoonfuls, many times not above one or two.”—Secret History of King James, vol. ii., p. 3. Edin. 1811.

The trussing, which the demipique saddle of the time made particularly easy, is mentioned in the text; and the author, along with other antiquities, owns a leather flask similar to those carried by hunters, labeled “King James's Hunting Bottle,” though its authenticity is uncertain. Coke seems to have exaggerated the King's fondness for the bottle. Welldon mentions that James wasn't excessive when it came to drinking; “However, in his later years, Buckingham's festive dinners, when he happened to be involved, sometimes led him to drink too much, which he would remember the next day and regret with tears. It's true he drank quite often, more out of habit than enjoyment; and his drinks were strong ones, like Frontiniack, Canary, high country wine, tent wine, and Scottish ale, that if he didn't have a very strong constitution, he might have been overwhelmed daily, although he rarely drank more than four spoonfuls at once, and many times only one or two.” —Secret History of King James, vol. ii., p. 3. Edin. 1811.

Note XVII. p. 325.—SCENE IN GREENWICH PARK

Note XVII. p. 325.—SCENE IN GREENWICH PARK

I cannot here omit mentioning, that a painting of the old school is in existence, having a remarkable resemblance to the scene described in the foregoing chapter, although it be nevertheless true that the similarity is in all respects casual, and that the author knew not of the existence of the painting till it was sold, amongst others, with the following description attached to it in a well-drawn-up catalogue:

I can’t leave out the fact that there’s an old painting that looks a lot like the scene described in the previous chapter. However, it’s true that the resemblance is purely coincidental, and the artist had no idea the painting even existed until it was sold, along with others, with the following description attached in a well-organized catalog:

                             “FREDERIGO ZUCCHERO
    “Scene as represented in the Fortunes of Nigel, by Frederigo
Zucchero, the King's painter.
                             “FREDERIGO ZUCCHERO
    “Scene as shown in the Fortunes of Nigel, by Frederigo
Zucchero, the King's painter.

“This extraordinary picture, which, independent of its pictorial merit, has been esteemed a great literary curiosity, represents most faithfully the meeting, in Greenwich Park, between King James and Nigel Oliphaunt, as described in the Fortunes of Nigel, showing that the author must have taken the anecdote from authenticated facts. In the centre of the picture sits King James on horseback, very erect and stiffly. Between the King and Prince Charles, who is on the left of the picture, the Duke of Buckingham is represented riding a black horse, and pointing eagerly towards the culprit, Nigel Olifaunt, who is standing on the right side of the picture. He grasps with his right hand a gun, or crossbow, and looks angrily towards the King, who seems somewhat confused and alarmed. Behind Nigel, his servant is restraining two dogs which are barking fiercely. Nigel and his servant are both clothed in red, the livery of the Oliphaunt family in which, to this day, the town-officers of Perth are clothed, there being an old charter, granting to the Oliphaunt family, the privilege of dressing the public officers of Perth in their livery. The Duke of Buckingham is in all respects equal in magnificence of dress to the King or the Prince. The only difference that is marked between him and royalty is, that his head is uncovered. The King and the Prince wear their hats. In Letitia Aikin's Memoirs of the Reign of King James, will be found a letter from Sir Thomas Howard to Lord L. Harrington, in which he recommends the latter to come to court, mentioning that his Majesty has spoken favourably of him. He then proceeds to give him some advice, by which he is likely to find favour in the King's eyes. He tells him to wear a bushy ruff, well starched; and after various other directions as to his dress, he concludes, 'but above all things fail not to praise the roan jennet whereon the King doth daily ride.' In this picture King James is represented on the identical roan jennet. In the background of the picture are seen two or three suspicious-looking figures, as if watching the success of some plot. These may have been put in by the painter, to flatter the King, by making it be supposed that he had actually escaped, or successfully combated, some serious plot. The King is attended by a numerous band of courtiers and attendants, all of whom seem moving forward to arrest the defaulter. The painting of this picture is extremely good, but the drawing is very Gothic, and there is no attempt at the keeping of perspective. The picture is very dark and obscure, which considerably adds to the interest of the scene.”

“This remarkable painting, which, aside from its artistic value, has been regarded as a fascinating literary curiosity, accurately depicts the encounter in Greenwich Park between King James and Nigel Oliphaunt, as described in The Fortunes of Nigel, suggesting that the author likely based the story on verified events. In the center of the painting sits King James on a horse, sitting very upright and stiffly. Between the King and Prince Charles, who is on the left side of the image, the Duke of Buckingham is shown riding a black horse and eagerly pointing towards the accused, Nigel Oliphaunt, who stands on the right. He holds a gun or crossbow in his right hand and looks angrily at the King, who appears somewhat confused and alarmed. Behind Nigel, his servant is holding back two dogs that are barking aggressively. Both Nigel and his servant are dressed in red, the colors of the Oliphaunt family, which still dress the town officers of Perth in their livery, thanks to an old charter granting the Oliphaunt family the privilege to attire the public officers of Perth. The Duke of Buckingham is dressed as magnificently as the King or the Prince. The only noticeable difference is that his head is uncovered while the King and the Prince wear their hats. In Letitia Aikin's Memoirs of the Reign of King James, there is a letter from Sir Thomas Howard to Lord L. Harrington, advising him to come to court, noting that His Majesty has spoken positively about him. He goes on to offer some advice on how to gain the King's favor, suggesting he wear a well-starched, bushy ruff, and after other fashion tips, he concludes with, 'but above all, don’t forget to praise the roan jennet that the King rides daily.' In this painting, King James is depicted on that very roan jennet. In the background, two or three suspicious-looking figures can be seen, as if they are watching the outcome of a plot. The artist may have included these figures to flatter the King, suggesting he successfully thwarted a serious conspiracy. The King is accompanied by a large group of courtiers and attendants, all seemingly moving forward to apprehend the accused. The painting is extremely well done, but the drawing is quite medieval, with no attempt made to keep perspective. The artwork is very dark and shadowy, which adds significantly to the scene's intrigue.”

Note XVIII. p. 325.—KING JAMES'S TIMIDITY

Note XVIII. p. 325.—KING JAMES'S FEAR

The fears of James for his personal safety were often excited without serious grounds. On one occasion, having been induced to visit a coal-pit on the coast of Fife, he was conducted a little way under the sea, and brought to daylight again on a small island, or what was such at full tide, down which a shaft had been sunk. James, who conceived his life or liberty aimed at, when he found himself on an islet surrounded by the sea, instead of admiring, as his cicerone hoped, the unexpected change of scene, cried TREASON with all his might, and could not be pacified till he was rowed ashore. At Lockmaben he took an equally causeless alarm from a still slighter circumstance. Some vendisses, a fish peculiar to the Loch, were presented to the royal table as a delicacy; but the King, who was not familiar with their appearance, concluded they were poisoned, and broke up the banquet “with most admired disorder.”

The fears James had for his safety were often triggered without any real reason. One time, he was persuaded to visit a coal pit on the coast of Fife, where he was taken a short distance underwater and then brought back up on a small island, which was surrounded by water at high tide, where a shaft had been sunk. James, thinking his life or freedom was at stake when he found himself on an islet surrounded by the sea, instead of appreciating, as his guide hoped, the unexpected scenery, shouted "TREASON" at the top of his lungs and couldn’t be calmed down until he was rowed back to shore. At Lockmaben, he panicked again over an even more trivial incident. Some vendisses, a type of fish native to the Loch, were served as a delicacy at the royal table; however, the King, unfamiliar with what they looked like, assumed they were poisoned and ended the banquet “with most admired disorder.”

Note XIX. p. 328.—TRAITOR'S GATE

Note XIX. p. 328.—TRAITOR'S GATE

Traitor's Gate, which opens from the Tower of London to the Thames, was, as its name implies, that by which persons accused of state offences were conveyed to their prison. When the tide is making, and the ancient gate is beheld from within the buildings, it used to be a most striking part of the old fortress; but it is now much injured in appearance, being half built up with masonry to support a steam-engine, or something of that sort.

Traitor's Gate, which connects the Tower of London to the Thames, was, as the name suggests, the entrance used for bringing people accused of state crimes to their prison. When the tide is coming in and you look at the old gate from inside the buildings, it used to be a really impressive feature of the ancient fortress; however, it now looks quite damaged, as it's partly filled in with bricks to support a steam engine or something similar.

Note XX. p. 361.—PUNISHMENT OF STUBBS BY MUTILATION

Note XX. p. 361.—PUNISHMENT OF STUBBS BY MUTILATION

This execution, which so captivated the imagination of Sir Mungo Malagrowther, was really a striking one. The criminal, a furious and bigoted Puritan, had published a book in very violent terms against the match of Elizabeth with the Duke of Alencon, which he termed an union of a daughter of God with a son of antichrist. Queen Elizabeth was greatly incensed at the freedom assumed in this work, and caused the author Stubbs, with Page the publisher, and one Singleton the printer, to be tried on an act passed by Philip and Mary against the writers and dispersers of seditious publications. They were convicted, and although there was an opinion strongly entertained by the lawyers, that the act was only temporary, and expired with Queen Mary, Stubbs and Page received sentence to have their right hands struck off. They accordingly suffered the punishment, the wrist being divided by a cleaver driven through the joint by force of a mallet. The printer was pardoned. “I remember,” says the historian Camden, “being then present, that Stubbs, when his right hand was cut off, plucked off his hat with the left, and said, with a loud voice, 'God save the Queen!' The multitude standing about was deeply silent, either out of horror of this new and unwonted kind of punishment, or out of commiseration towards the man, as being of an honest and unblamable repute, or else out of hatred to the marriage, which most men presaged would be the overthrow of religion. '—CAMDBN'S Annals for the Year 1581.

This execution, which so fascinated Sir Mungo Malagrowther, was truly striking. The criminal, a furious and fanatical Puritan, had published a book that violently opposed Elizabeth’s marriage to the Duke of Alençon, calling it a union between a daughter of God and a son of the antichrist. Queen Elizabeth was furious about the boldness of this work and had the author Stubbs, along with the publisher Page and the printer Singleton, tried under a law enacted by Philip and Mary against writers and distributors of seditious materials. They were found guilty, and despite a strong legal opinion that the law was only temporary and had expired with Queen Mary, Stubbs and Page were sentenced to have their right hands amputated. They faced their punishment, with a cleaver driven through the wrist joint by a mallet. The printer was pardoned. “I remember,” says historian Camden, “being present at the time, that when Stubbs’ right hand was cut off, he took off his hat with his left hand and shouted loudly, ‘God save the Queen!’ The crowd around him was deeply silent, either out of horror at this new and unusual punishment, pity for the man, who was known to be honest and upright, or out of animosity toward the marriage, which many feared would lead to the downfall of religion.” —CAMDEN'S Annals for the Year 1581.

Note XXI. p. 375.—RlCHIE MONIPLIES BEHIND THE ARRAS

Note XXI. p. 375.—RICHIE MONIPLIES BEHIND THE CURTAIN

The practical jest of Richie Moniplies going behind the arras to get an opportunity of teasing Heriot, was a pleasantry such as James might be supposed to approve of. It was customary for those who knew his humour to contrive jests of this kind for his amusement. The celebrated Archie Armstrong, and another jester called Drummond, mounted on other people's backs, used to charge each other like knights in the tilt-yard, to the monarch's great amusement. The following is an instance of the same kind, taken from Webster upon Witchcraft. The author is speaking of the faculty called ventriloquism.

The funny prank of Richie Moniplies going behind the curtain to tease Heriot was just the sort of humor that James would likely enjoy. It was common for those who understood his sense of humor to come up with jokes like this for his entertainment. The famous Archie Armstrong and another jester named Drummond would ride on each other's backs and charge at each other like knights in a tournament, much to the King's delight. Here’s a similar example from Webster on Witchcraft, where the author discusses the skill known as ventriloquism.

But to make this more plain and certain, we shall add a story of a notable impostor, or ventriloquist, from the testimony of Mr. Ady, which we have had confirmed from the mouth of some courtiers, that both saw and knew him, and is this:—It hath been (saith he) credibly reported, that there was a man in the court of King James his days, that could act this imposture so lively, that he could call the King by name, and cause the King to look round about him, wondering who it was that called him, whereas he that called him stood before him in his presence, with his face towards him. But after this imposture was known, the King, in his merriment, would sometimes take occasionally this impostor to make sport upon some of his courtiers, as, for instance:—

But to clarify this further, let’s share a story about a famous impostor or ventriloquist, based on the account of Mr. Ady, which has been verified by some courtiers who both saw and knew him. Here's the story: it has been reliably reported that there was a man in the court during King James's reign who could perform this trick so convincingly that he could call the King by name, making the King look around in confusion, wondering who had called him, even while the person calling him stood right in front of him. Once this trick was revealed, the King, in his amusement, would occasionally bring this impostor along to entertain some of his courtiers, for example:—

“There was a knight belonging to the court, whom the King caused to come before him in his private room, (where no man was but the King, and this knight and the impostor,) and feigned some occasion of serious discourse with the knight; but when the King began to speak and the knight bending his attention to the King, suddenly there came a voice as out of another room, calling the knight by name, 'Sir John, Sir John; come away, Sir John;' at which the knight began to frown that any man should be unmannerly as to molest the King and him; and still listening to the King's discourse, the voice came again, 'Sir John, Sir John; come away and drink off your sack.' At that Sir John began to swell with anger, and looked into the next room to see who it was that dared to call him so importunately, and could not find out who it was, and having chid with whomsoever he found, he returned again to the King. The King had no sooner begun to speak as formerly, but the voice came again, 'Sir John, come away, your sack stayeth for you.' At that Sir John began to stamp with madness, and looked out and returned several times to the King, but could not be quiet in his discourse with the King, because of the voice that so often troubled him, till the king had sported enough.”—WEBSTER on Witchcraft, p. 124.

“There was a knight at the court whom the King summoned to his private room (where no one was present except the King, the knight, and the impostor) and pretended he had something serious to discuss with the knight. But just as the King began to speak and the knight focused on him, a voice suddenly came from another room, calling the knight by name, 'Sir John, Sir John; come here, Sir John.' The knight frowned because he thought it rude for anyone to interrupt the King and him. While still listening to the King's conversation, the voice called out again, 'Sir John, Sir John; come and finish your drink.' At this, Sir John grew angry and looked into the next room to see who dared to call him so insistently but couldn't figure out who it was. After scolding whoever he found, he returned to the King. As soon as the King started speaking again, the voice interrupted once more, 'Sir John, come here, your drink is waiting for you.' At that, Sir John began to stomp in frustration, peeking out and returning to the King several times, but he couldn't concentrate on the King's discussion because of the voice that kept bothering him, until the King had amused himself enough.” —WEBSTER on Witchcraft, p. 124.

Note XXII. p. 393.—LADY LAKE.

Note 22. p. 393.—LADY LAKE.

Whether out of a meddling propensity common to all who have a gossiping disposition, or from the love of justice, which ought to make part of a prince's character, James was very fond of enquiring personally into the causes celebres which occurred during his reign. In the imposture of the Boy of Bilson, who pretended to be possessed, and of one Richard Haydock, a poor scholar, who pretended to preach during his sleep, the King, to use the historian Wilson's expression, took delight in sounding with the line of his understanding, the depths of these brutish impositions, and in doing so, showed the acuteness with which he was endowed by Nature. Lady Lake's story consisted in a clamorous complaint against the Countess of Exeter, whom she accused of a purpose to put to death Lady Lake herself, and her daughter, Lady Ross, the wife of the Countess's own son-in-law, Lord Ross; and a forged letter was produced, in which Lady Exeter was made to acknowledge such a purpose. The account given of the occasion of obtaining this letter, was, that it had been written by the Countess at Wimbledon, in presence of Lady Lake and her daughter, Lady Ross, being designed to procure their forgiveness for her mischievous intention. The King remained still unsatisfied, the writing, in his opinion, bearing some marks of forgery. Lady Lake and her daughter then alleged, that, besides their own attestation, and that of a confidential domestic, named Diego, in whose presence Lady Exeter had written the confession, their story might also be supported by the oath of their waiting-maid, who had been placed behind the hangings at the time the letter was written, and heard the Countess of Exeter read over the confession after she had signed it. Determined to be at the bottom of this accusation, James, while hunting one day near Wimbledon, the scene of the alleged confession, suddenly left his sport, and, galloping hastily to Wimbledon, in order to examine personally the room, discovered, from the size of the apartment, that the alleged conversation could not have taken place in the manner sworn to; and that the tapestry of the chamber, which had remained in the same state for thirty years, was too short by two feet, and, therefore, could not have concealed any one behind it. This matter was accounted an exclusive discovery of the King by his own spirit of shrewd investigation. The parties were punished in the Star Chamber by fine and imprisonment.

Whether out of a meddling tendency common to all gossipers, or from a sense of justice that should be part of a ruler’s character, James really enjoyed personally investigating the famous cases that came up during his reign. In the case of the Boy of Bilson, who claimed to be possessed, and a poor scholar named Richard Haydock, who pretended to preach in his sleep, the King, as historian Wilson put it, took pleasure in probing the depths of these ridiculous deceptions, showcasing the sharp intelligence he was naturally endowed with. Lady Lake's story revolved around a loud complaint against the Countess of Exeter, whom she accused of wanting to kill both Lady Lake herself and her daughter, Lady Ross, who was married to the Countess's own son-in-law, Lord Ross. A forged letter was presented, supposedly showing Lady Exeter admitting to such a plot. The explanation for how this letter was obtained was that the Countess had written it at Wimbledon in front of Lady Lake and her daughter, Lady Ross, intending to seek their forgiveness for her wicked plan. The King remained unconvinced, believing the writing showed signs of forgery. Lady Lake and her daughter then stated that, in addition to their own testimony and that of a trusted servant named Diego, who had witnessed Lady Exeter writing the confession, their claims could also be backed by the oath of their maid, who had been hidden behind the curtains when the letter was written and heard the Countess read her confession after signing it. Determined to get to the bottom of this accusation, James, while hunting near Wimbledon, where the alleged confession had taken place, abruptly left his hunting and rode quickly to Wimbledon to personally examine the room. He discovered that the size of the room made it impossible for the conversation to have happened as described, and that the tapestry in the chamber, which had remained unchanged for thirty years, fell short by two feet and could not have hidden anyone behind it. This matter was seen as a unique revelation from the King due to his sharp investigative spirit. The individuals involved were punished in the Star Chamber with fines and imprisonment.










GLOSSARY

   A,' all.
   ABYE, suffer for.
   ACCIDENS, grammar.
   AIGRE, sour, ill-natured.
   AIN GATE, own way.
   A' LEEVING, all living.
   AMBLE, a peculiar gait of a
     horse, in which both legs on
     one side are moved forward
     at the same time.
   ANCE, once.
   ANENT, concerning.
   ANGEL, an ancient English gold
     coin, worth about 10s., and
     bearing the figure of an angel.
   ARRAS, tapestry.
   AUGHT, owe.
   AULD, old.
   AULD REEKIE, Edinburgh, in
     allusion to its smoke.
   AVISEMENT, counsel.
   AW, all.
   AWMOUS, alms, a gift.

   BANGED, sprang, bounded.
   BARNACLES, spectacles.
   BARNS-BREAKING, idle frolics.
   BAWBEE, halfpenny.
   BAXTER, baker.
   BEAR-BANNOCKS, barley cakes.
   BECKING, curtseying.
   BECKS, nods.
   BEECHEN BICKERS, dishes of
     beechwood.
   BELDAM, ugly old woman.
   BELIVE, by-and-by, presently.
   BENEVOLENCES, taxes illegally
      exacted by the Kings of
      England.
   BIDE, keep, remain.
   BIELDY BIT, sheltered spot.
   BIGGING, building.
   BILBOE, sword, rapier.
   BILLIES, brothers.
   BIRKIE, lively young fellow.
   BLACK-JACK, leathern drinking-
      cup.
   BLADES, dashing fellows, rakes.
   BLATE, modest, bashful.
   BLETHERING, foolish, silly.
   BLITHE, BLYTHE, glad.
   BLUE-COATS, lackeys.
   BODDLE, a copper coin, value
     the sixth part of an English
     penny.
   BODE, bid, offer.
   BOOKIE, book.
   BRAE, hill, hill-side. BANGED,
      sprang, bounded.
   BRAVE PIECE, fine thing.
   BRAW, fine, handsome.
   BREAKING, kneading.
   BREEKS, breeches, trousers.
   BROCHES, kitchen spits.
   BROSE, pottage of meal and
      water.
   BROWNIE, domestic goblin.
   BUCKET, cheat.
   BUNEMOST, uppermost.
   BURROWS-TOWN, borough-town.
   BUSS, kiss.

   CALF-WARD, place where calves are kept in the field.
   CALLAN, CALLANT, lad.
   CANNILY, cautiously, skilfully.
   CANNY, quiet.
   CANTLE, crown of the head.
   CARCANET, necklace.
   CARLE, fellow.
   CARLE-HEMPIE, the strongest stalk of hemp.
   CARNIFEX, executioner.
   CAUFF, chaff.
   CAULDRIFE, chilly.
   CA'T, call it.
   CAUP, cup.
   CAUSEY, pavement.
   CERTIE, faith, in truth.
   CHALMER, chamber.
   CHANGE-HOUSE, roadside inn where horses are changed on a journey.
   CHALK, slash.
   CHAPPIT, struck.
   CHEEK-BY-JOWL, CHEEK-BY-CHOWL, side by side.
   CHEERY, dagger.
   CHENZIE-MAIL, chain-mail.
   CHIELD, fellow.
   CHOPINES, high shoes or clogs.
   CHUCKS, chuck-stones, as played by children.
   CHUFFS, clowns, simpletons.
   CLAITHING, clothing.

   CLAPPED LOOFS, crossed palms.
   CLATTER-TRAPS, rattle-traps.
   CLAUGHT, snatched.
   CLAVERING, idle talking.
   CLEEK, hook.
   CLEW, clue.
   CLOOT, hoof.
   CLOUR, blow.
   CLOUTING, mending.
   COCK-A-LEEKIE, COCK-A-LEEKY, leek soup in which a cock has been
   boiled.
   COIF, linen covering for the head.
   COMPLOTS, plots, intrigues.
   COMPT, list, account, particulars.
   COMPTING-ROOM, counting-house.
   COSHERING, being familiar and intimate.
   COUP, barter.
   COUP THE CRANS, go to wreck and ruin.
   COUPIT, tumbled.
   CRAIG, rock; also neck.
   CRAP, creep.
   CRAW'D SAE CROUSE, crowed so proudly.
   CULLY, one easily deceived, a dupe.
   CURN, grain.
   CUSSER, stallion.
   CUTTY-QUEAN, a loose woman.

   DAFT, silly, mad.
   DAIKERING, jogging or toiling along.
   DANG, driven, knocked.
   DEIL, devil.
   DEUTEROSCOPY, a meaning beyond the original sense.
   DIDNA, did not.
   DIKE-LOUPER, a debauchee.
   DIRDUM, uproar, tumult. DIRKED, stabbed with a dirk.
   DONNERIT, stupefied.
   DOOMS, very, absolutely.
   DOUCE, quiet, respectable, sober.
   DOVER, neither asleep nor awake.
   DOWCOT, dove-cote.
   DRAB, illicit sexual intercourse.
   DRAFF, drains given to cows; also the wash given to pigs.
   DRAFF-POKE, bag of grains.
   DREDGING-BOX, a box with holes for sprinkling flour in cookery.
   DROUTHY, thirsty.
   DUD, rag.
   DUKE OF EXETER'S DAUGHTER, a species of rack in the Tower of London.
   DULE-WEEDS, mourning.
   DUMMALAFONG, a common prey to all comers.
   DUNTS, blows.

   EARD, earth.
   EEN, eyes.
   ELRITCH, hideous.
   ENOW, just now.
   ENSAMPLE, example.
   EVITED, avoided.
   EXIES, hysterics.

   FALCHION, a short broadsword with a slightly curved point.
   FALSET, falsehood.
   FAUSE, false.
   FASH, trouble.
   FASHIOUS, troublesome, annoying.
   FENCE-LOUPER, rakish fellow.
   FEBRIFUGE, a medicine to subdue a fever.
   FIDUCIARY, trustee.
   FLATCAPS, citizens, civilians.
   FLEECHING, flattering.
   FOOD FOR FAGGOTS, martyrs for their religious opinions.
   FOOT-CLOTH, horse-cloth reaching almost to the ground.
   FOUARTS, house-leeks.
   FOULWART, pole-cat.
   FRAE, from.
   FRESCO, half-naked.
   FULE, fool.
   FULHAM, loaded dice.

   GAGE, pledge, trust.
   GANG A' AE GATE, go all one way.
   GAR, make, force.
   GARR'D, made, compelled.
   GATE, way, road; also kind of.
   GEAR, property.
   GIFF-GAFF, give and take, tit for tat.
   GIE THE GLAIKS, to befool, deceive.
   GILLIE-WHITE-FOOT, running footman.
   GILLRAVAGER, plunderer.
   GIRNED, grinned.
   GLAIKS, deception.
   GLEED, awry, all wrong.
   GOUD-COUK, fool.
   GRAFFS, graves.
   GRAMERCY, great thanks.
   GRANDAM, old woman, grandmother.
   GRAT, cried.
   GREEN GEESE, parrots.
   GREET, cry.
   GREW, shudder.
   GRIPS, handshakings, greetings.
   GROSART, GROSSART, goose-berry.
   GULL, one easily befooled,
   GULLEY, large knife.
   GUTTERBLOOD, one meanly bred.
   GYNOCRACY, petticoat government.

   HAET, thing.
   HAFFITS, sides of the head.
   HAFT, handle.
   HAIRBOURED, resided, sojourned.
   HAMESUCKEN, assaulting a man on his own premises.
   HANKED, coiled.
   HARLE, drag, trail.
   HARMAN BECK, constable.
   HEART-SCALD, disgust.
   HEAD-TIRE, head-dress.
   HECK AND MANGER, in comfortable quarters.
   HEUGHS, glens.
   HIRDIE-GIRDIE, topsy-turvy.
   HIRPLING, limping, walking lame.
   HIRSEL, flock.
   HORSE-GRAITH, harness.
   HOUGHS, hollows.
   HOWFF, rendezvous, place of resort.

   ILK ANE, each one.
   ILL, bad.
   ILL REDD-UP, very untidy.
   ILL-WILLY, ill-natured.
   INGINE, ingenuity.
   INGOTS, masses of unwrought metal.
   INGRATE, an ungrateful person.
   IRON CARLES, iron figures of men.

   JAW, wave.
   JEDDART-STAFF, a species of battle-axe peculiar to Jedburgh.
   JENNET, a small Spanish horse.
   JINGLE, dance.
   JOUP, dip, stoop down.

   KEMPING, strife.
   KENNING, knowledge.
   KIMMER, gossip, neighbour.
   KIRK, church.
   KITTLE, ticklish, difficult, precarious.
   KYTHED, seemed, appeared.

   LAIGH, low.
   LAIR, learning.
   LAMB'S-WOOL, a beverage made of the pulp of roasted apples.
   LANDLOUPER, adventurer, runagate.
   LANG SYNE, long ago.
   LATTEN, plated iron or brass.
   LAVROCK, lark.
   LEASING-MAKING, uttering treasonable language.
   LEASINGS, falsehoods, treason.
   LEGLIN-GIRTH, the lowest hoop on a leglin, or milk-pail.
   LICK, a beating.
   LIEFEST, most beloved.
   LIFT, steal.
   LIGHT O' LOVE, mistress, wanton woman.
   LINKBOYS, juvenile torch-bearers.
   LIST, like.
   LITHER, soft.
   LOOF, palm of the hand.
   LOON, LOUN, rascal.
   LOUPING, leaping.
   LUG, LUGG, ear.
   LUVE, love.

   MAIR THAN ANCE, more than once.
   MARLE, wonder, marvel.
   MAGGOT, whim, fancy.
   MELL, intermeddle.
   MENSEFUL, modest, mannerly.
   MERK, a Scottish coin, value 13s 4d.
   MESS-BOOK, mass-book, Catholic prayer-book.
   MICKLE, MUCKLE, much, great, large.
   MINT, attempt.
   MIRK, dark.
   MISLEARD, unmannerly.
   MORT-CLOTH, shroud.
   MOTION, puppet-show.
   MUCKLE v. MICKLE.
   MUFFLED, disguised.
   MUSKETOON, a species of musket.
   MY GERTIE, my goodness! gracious!

   NEB, nose, point.
   NEEDSNA, need not.
   NICHER, snigger.
   NICKS, notches.
   NIFFER, exchange.
   NOBLE, a gold coin, value 6s. 8d. sterling.
   NOWTE, black cattle.
   NUNCHION, luncheon, food taken between meals.

   OR, before.
   OTHER GATE, other kind of.
   OWER SICKER, too careful.

   PAIK, fight, chastise.
   PANGED, crammed.
   PAPISTRIE, Popery.
   PEASE-BOGLE, scarecrow among the pease growing.
   PENNY-WEDDING, a wedding where all who attend contribute a trifle
   towards the
   expenses of the merrymaking.
   PICKTHANK, a parasitical informer.
   PIG, earthen pot, vessel, or pitcher.
   PINK, stab, pierce holes into.
   PLACK, a copper coin, value the third part of an English
   penny.
   PLOY, trick.
   POCK-END, empty pocket or purse.
   POCK-PUDDING, bag pudding.
   POORTITH, poverty.
   PORK-GRISKINS, sucking-pigs; also broiled loin of pork.
   POUCH, pocket.
   PRIE, taste.
   PULLET, a young hen.

   QUEAN, wench, young woman.

   RAMPALLIONS, low women.
   RAVE, tore.
   RAXING, stretching.
   REDDING-KAME, hair-comb.
   REDD-UP, tidy, put in order.
   RED WUD, stark mad.
   REIRD, shouting.
   REMEID, resource, remedy.
   ROOPIT, croupy, hoarse.
   ROSE-NOBLE, a gold coin, value 6s. 8d., impressed with a rose.
   ROUT, ROWT, to roar or bellow.
   RUDAS, wild, forward, bold.

   SAAM, same.
   SACK, sherry or canary wine, warmed and spiced.
   SACKLESS, innocent.
   SCAT, tribute, tax.
   SCAUDING, scalding.
   SCAUR, scare, frighten.
   SCLATE-STANE, slate-stone.
   SCRIVENER, one who draws up contracts.
   SHABBLE, cutlass,
   SHOON, shoes.
   SHOUTHER, shoulder.
   SHULE, shovel.
   SIB, related.
   SIBYL, prophetess.
   SICKER, careful.
   SICLIKE, just so.
   SILLER, money, silver.
   SIRRAH, sir!
   SKEIGH, skittish.
   SKELDER, plunder, snatch.
   SLEEVELESS, thriftless.
   SMAIK, mean, paltry fellow.
   SNAP-HAUNCHES, firelocks.
   SPANG, spring.
   SPEER, ask.
   SPEERINGS, information, inquiries.
   SPRAIKLE, to get on with difficulty.
   SPUNK, slip.
   SPUNKIES, will-o'-the-wisps.
   STEEKING, closing.
   STEEKIT, shut.
   STONERN, stone.
   STOT, a bullock between two and three years old.
   STRAND-SCOURING, gutter-raking.
   STURDIED, afflicted with the sturdy, a sheep disease.
   STYPIC, astringent, something to arrest haemorrhage.
   SUCCORY-WATER, sugar water.
   SUNDOWN, sunset.
   SUNER, sooner.
   SUMPTER HORSE, pack-horse.
   SWITH, begone! be off!
   SYNE, ago.

   TAIT, lock.
   TANE, the one.
   TAWSE, leather strap used for chastisement.
   TEINDS, tithes.
   THROUGH-STANES, gravestones.
   TIKE v. TYKE.
   TINT, lost.
   TITHER, the other.
   TOCHER, dowry.
   TOOM, empty.
   TOUR, see.
   TOUT, blast on the horn.
   TOYS, goods.
   TREEN, wooden.
   TROTH, truth.
   TROW, believe, guess.
   TRYSTE, appointment.
   TURN-BROCHE, turn-spit.
   TYKE, TIKE, dog, cur.
   TWA, two.
   TWIRING, coquetting, making eyes at.

   UMQUHILE, late, deceased.

   VIVERS, victuals.

   WAD, pledge.
   WADNA, would not.
   WADSET, mortgage.
   WANION, misfortune.
   WARE, spend.
   WARLOCKS, wizards.
   WASTRIFE, waste, extravagance.
   WAUR, worse.
   WEEL KEND, well known.
   WHA, who.
   WHEEN, few, a number of.
   WHIGMALEERY, trinkets, nicknacks.
   WHILK, which.
   WHINGER, cutlass, long knife.
   WHINYARD, sword.
   WHOMBLE, upset.
   WIMPLED, wrapped up.
   WINNA, will not.
   WITHY, gallows rope.
   WOO', wool.
   WYLIE-COAT, under-petticoat.
   WYND, street, alley.
   WYTE, blame.

   YESTREEN, last night.
A, all.  
ABYE, suffer for.  
ACCIDENS, grammar.  
AIGRE, sour, ill-natured.  
AIN GATE, own way.  
A' LEEVING, all living.  
AMBLE, a peculiar gait of a horse, in which both legs on one side are moved forward at the same time.  
ANCE, once.  
ANENT, concerning.  
ANGEL, an ancient English gold coin, worth about 10s., and bearing the figure of an angel.  
ARRAS, tapestry.  
AUGHT, owe.  
AULD, old.  
AULD REEKIE, Edinburgh, in allusion to its smoke.  
AVISEMENT, counsel.  
AW, all.  
AWMOUS, alms, a gift.  

BANGED, sprang, bounded.  
BARNACLES, spectacles.  
BARNS-BREAKING, idle frolics.  
BAWBEE, halfpenny.  
BAXTER, baker.  
BEAR-BANNOCKS, barley cakes.  
BECKING, curtseying.  
BECKS, nods.  
BEECHEN BICKERS, dishes of beechwood.  
BELDAM, ugly old woman.  
BELIVE, by-and-by, presently.  
BENEVOLENCES, taxes illegally exacted by the Kings of England.  
BIDE, keep, remain.  
BIELDY BIT, sheltered spot.  
BIGGING, building.  
BILBOE, sword, rapier.  
BILLIES, brothers.  
BIRKIE, lively young fellow.  
BLACK-JACK, leathern drinking-cup.  
BLADES, dashing fellows, rakes.  
BLATE, modest, bashful.  
BLETHERING, foolish, silly.  
BLITHE, BLYTHE, glad.  
BLUE-COATS, lackeys.  
BODDLE, a copper coin, value the sixth part of an English penny.  
BODE, bid, offer.  
BOOKIE, book.  
BRAE, hill, hill-side. BANGED, sprang, bounded.  
BRAVE PIECE, fine thing.  
BRAW, fine, handsome.  
BREAKING, kneading.  
BREEKS, breeches, trousers.  
BROCHES, kitchen spits.  
BROSE, pottage of meal and water.  
BROWNIE, domestic goblin.  
BUCKET, cheat.  
BUNEMOST, uppermost.  
BURROWS-TOWN, borough-town.  
BUSS, kiss.  

CALF-WARD, place where calves are kept in the field.  
CALLAN, CALLANT, lad.  
CANNILY, cautiously, skillfully.  
CANNY, quiet.  
CANTLE, crown of the head.  
CARCANET, necklace.  
CARLE, fellow.  
CARLE-HEMPIE, the strongest stalk of hemp.  
CARNIFEX, executioner.  
CAUFF, chaff.  
CAULDRIFE, chilly.  
CA'T, call it.  
CAUP, cup.  
CAUSEY, pavement.  
CERTIE, faith, in truth.  
CHALMER, chamber.  
CHANGE-HOUSE, roadside inn where horses are changed on a journey.  
CHALK, slash.  
CHAPPIT, struck.  
CHEEK-BY-JOWL, CHEEK-BY-CHOWL, side by side.  
CHEERY, dagger.  
CHENZIE-MAIL, chain-mail.  
CHIELD, fellow.  
CHOPINES, high shoes or clogs.  
CHUCKS, chuck-stones, as played by children.  
CHUFFS, clowns, simpletons.  
CLAITHING, clothing.  

CLAPPED LOOFS, crossed palms.  
CLATTER-TRAPS, rattle-traps.  
CLAUGHT, snatched.  
CLAVERING, idle talking.  
CLEEK, hook.  
CLEW, clue.  
CLOOT, hoof.  
CLOUR, blow.  
CLOUTING, mending.  
COCK-A-LEEKIE, COCK-A-LEEKY, leek soup in which a cock has been boiled.  
COIF, linen covering for the head.  
COMPLOTS, plots, intrigues.  
COMPT, list, account, particulars.  
COMPTING-ROOM, counting-house.  
COSHERING, being familiar and intimate.  
COUP, barter.  
COUP THE CRANS, go to wreck and ruin.  
COUPIT, tumbled.  
CRAIG, rock; also neck.  
CRAP, creep.  
CRAW'D SAE CROUSE, crowed so proudly.  
CULLY, one easily deceived, a dupe.  
CURN, grain.  
CUSSER, stallion.  
CUTTY-QUEAN, a loose woman.  

DAFT, silly, mad.  
DAIKERING, jogging or toiling along.  
DANG, driven, knocked.  
DEIL, devil.  
DEUTEROSCOPY, a meaning beyond the original sense.  
DIDNA, did not.  
DIKE-LOUPER, a debauchee.  
DIRDUM, uproar, tumult. DIRKED, stabbed with a dirk.  
DONNERIT, stupefied.  
DOOMS, very, absolutely.  
DOUCE, quiet, respectable, sober.  
DOVER, neither asleep nor awake.  
DOWCOT, dove-cote.  
DRAB, illicit sexual intercourse.  
DRAFF, drains given to cows; also the wash given to pigs.  
DRAFF-POKE, bag of grains.  
DREDGING-BOX, a box with holes for sprinkling flour in cookery.  
DROUTHY, thirsty.  
DUD, rag.  
DUKE OF EXETER'S DAUGHTER, a species of rack in the Tower of London.  
DULE-WEEDS, mourning.  
DUMMALAFONG, a common prey to all comers.  
DUNTS, blows.  

EARD, earth.  
EEN, eyes.  
ELRITCH, hideous.  
ENOW, just now.  
ENSAMPLE, example.  
EVITED, avoided.  
EXIES, hysterics.  

FALCHION, a short broadsword with a slightly curved point.  
FALSET, falsehood.  
FAUSE, false.  
FASH, trouble.  
FASHIOUS, troublesome, annoying.  
FENCE-LOUPER, rakish fellow.  
FEBRIFUGE, a medicine to subdue a fever.  
FIDUCIARY, trustee.  
FLATCAPS, citizens, civilians.  
FLEECHING, flattering.  
FOOD FOR FAGGOTS, martyrs for their religious opinions.  
FOOT-CLOTH, horse-cloth reaching almost to the ground.  
FOUARTS, house-leeks.  
FOULWART, pole-cat.  
FRAE, from.  
FRESCO, half-naked.  
FULE, fool.  
FULHAM, loaded dice.  

GAGE, pledge, trust.  
GANG A' AE GATE, go all one way.  
GAR, make, force.  
GARR'D, made, compelled.  
GATE, way, road; also a kind of.  
GEAR, property.  
GIFF-GAFF, give and take, tit for tat.  
GIE THE GLAIKS, to befool, deceive.  
GILLIE-WHITE-FOOT, running footman.  
GILLRAVAGER, plunderer.  
GIRNED, grinned.  
GLAIKS, deception.  
GLEED, awry, all wrong.  
GOUD-COUK, fool.  
GRAFFS, graves.  
GRAMERCY, great thanks.  
GRANDAM, old woman, grandmother.  
GRAT, cried.  
GREEN GEESE, parrots.  
GREET, cry.  
GREW, shudder.  
GRIPS, handshaking, greetings.  
GROSART, GROSSART, gooseberry.  
GULL, one easily befooled,  
GULLEY, large knife.  
GUTTERBLOOD, one meanly bred.  
GYNOCRACY, petticoat government.  

HAET, thing.  
HAFFITS, sides of the head.  
HAFT, handle.  
HAIRBOURED, resided, sojourned.  
HAMESUCKEN, assaulting a man on his own premises.  
HANKED, coiled.  
HARLE, drag, trail.  
HARMAN BECK, constable.  
HEART-SCALD, disgust.  
HEAD-TIRE, head-dress.  
HECK AND MANGER, in comfortable quarters.  
HEUGHS, glens.  
HIRDIE-GIRDIE, topsy-turvy.  
HIRPLING, limping, walking lame.  
HIRSEL, flock.  
HORSE-GRAITH, harness.  
HOUGHS, hollows.  
HOWFF, rendezvous, place of resort.  

ILK ANE, each one.  
ILL, bad.  
ILL REDD-UP, very untidy.  
ILL-WILLY, ill-natured.  
INGINE, ingenuity.  
INGOTS, masses of unwrought metal.  
INGRATE, an ungrateful person.  
IRON CARLES, iron figures of men.  

JAW, wave.  
JEDDART-STAFF, a species of battle-axe peculiar to Jedburgh.  
JENNET, a small Spanish horse.  
JINGLE, dance.  
JOUP, dip, stoop down.  

KEMPING, strife.  
KENNING, knowledge.  
KIMMER, gossip, neighbor.  
KIRK, church.  
KITTLE, ticklish, difficult, precarious.  
KYTHED, seemed, appeared.  

LAIGH, low.  
LAIR, learning.  
LAMB'S-WOOL, a beverage made of the pulp of roasted apples.  
LANDLOUPER, adventurer, runagate.  
LANG SYNE, long ago.  
LATTEN, plated iron or brass.  
LAVROCK, lark.  
LEASING-MAKING, uttering treasonable language.  
LEASINGS, falsehoods, treason.  
LEGLIN-GIRTH, the lowest hoop on a leglin, or milk-pail.  
LICK, a beating.  
LIEFEST, most beloved.  
LIFT, steal.  
LIGHT O' LOVE, mistress, wanton woman.  
LINKBOYS, juvenile torch-bearers.  
LIST, like.  
LITHER, soft.  
LOOF, palm of the hand.  
LOON, LOUN, rascal.  
LOUPING, leaping.  
LUG, LUGG, ear.  
LUVE, love.  

MAIR THAN ANCE, more than once.  
MARLE, wonder, marvel.  
MAGGOT, whim, fancy.  
MELL, intermeddle.  
MENSEFUL, modest, mannerly.  
MERK, a Scottish coin, value 13s 4d.  
MESS-BOOK, mass-book, Catholic prayer-book.  
MICKLE, MUCKLE, much, great, large.  
MINT, attempt.  
MIRK, dark.  
MISLEARD, unmannerly.  
MORT-CLOTH, shroud.  
MOTION, puppet-show.  
MUCKLE v. MICKLE.  
MUFFLED, disguised.  
MUSKETOON, a species of musket.  
MY GERTIE, my goodness! gracious!  

NEB, nose, point.  
NEEDSNA, need not.  
NICHER, snigger.  
NICKS, notches.  
NIFFER, exchange.  
NOBLE, a gold coin, value 6s. 8d. sterling.  
NOWTE, black cattle.  
NUNCHION, luncheon, food taken between meals.  

OR, before.  
OTHER GATE, other kind of.  
OWER SICKER, too careful.  

PAIK, fight, chastise.  
PANGED, crammed.  
PAPISTRIE, Popery.  
PEASE-BOGLE, scarecrow among the pease growing.  
PENNY-WEDDING, a wedding where all who attend contribute a trifle towards the expenses of the merrymaking.  
PICKTHANK, a parasitical informer.  
PIG, earthen pot, vessel, or pitcher.  
PINK, stab, pierce holes into.  
PLACK, a copper coin, value the third part of an English penny.  
PLOY, trick.  
POCK-END, empty pocket or purse.  
POCK-PUDDING, bag pudding.  
POORTITH, poverty.  
PORK-GRISKINS, sucking-pigs; also broiled loin of pork.  
POUCH, pocket.  
PRIE, taste.  
PULLET, a young hen.  

QUEAN, wench, young woman.  

RAMPALLIONS, low women.  
RAVE, tore.  
RAXING, stretching.  
REDDDING-KAME, hair-comb.  
REDD-UP, tidy, put in order.  
RED WUD, stark mad.  
REIRD, shouting.  
REMEID, resource, remedy.  
ROOPIT, croupy, hoarse.  
ROSE-NOBLE, a gold coin, value 6s. 8d., impressed with a rose.  
ROUT, ROWT, to roar or bellow.  
RUDAS, wild, forward, bold.  

SAAM, same.  
SACK, sherry or canary wine, warmed and spiced.  
SACKLESS, innocent.  
SCAT, tribute, tax.  
SCAUDING, scalding.  
SCAUR, scare, frighten.  
SCLATE-STANE, slate-stone.  
SCRIVENER, one who draws up contracts.  
SHABBLE, cutlass,  
SHOON, shoes.  
SHOUTHER, shoulder.  
SHULE, shovel.  
SIB, related.  
SIBYL, prophetess.  
SICKER, careful.  
SICLIKE, just so.  
SILLER, money, silver.  
SIRRAH, sir!  
SKEIGH, skittish.  
SKELDER, plunder, snatch.  
SLEEVELESS, thriftless.  
SMAIK, mean, paltry fellow.  
SNAP-HAUNCHES, firelocks.  
SPANG, spring.  
SPEER, ask.  
SPEERINGS, information, inquiries.  
SPRAIKLE, to get on with difficulty.  
SPUNK, slip.  
SPUNKIES, will-o'-the-wisps.  
STEEKING, closing.  
STEEKIT, shut.  
STONERN, stone.  
STOT, a bullock between two and three years old.  
STRAND-SCOURING, gutter-raking.  
STURDIED, afflicted with the sturdy, a sheep disease.  
STYPIC, astringent, something to arrest haemorrhage.  
SUCCORY-WATER, sugar water.  
SUNDOWN, sunset.  
SUNER, sooner.  
SUMPTER HORSE, pack-horse.  
SWITH, begone! be off!  
SYNE, ago.  

TAIT, lock.  
TANE, the one.  
TAWSE, leather strap used for chastisement.  
TEINDS, tithes.  
THROUGH-STANES, gravestones.  
TIKE v. TYKE.  
TINT, lost.  
TITHER, the other.  
TOCHER, dowry.  
TOOM, empty.  
TOUR, see.  
TOUT, blast on the horn.  
TOYS, goods.  
TREE, wooden.  
TROTH, truth.  
TROW, believe, guess.  
TRYSTE, appointment.  
TURN-BROCHE, turn-spit.  
TYKE, TIKE, dog, cur.  
TWA, two.  
TWIRING, coquetting, making eyes at.  

UMQUHILE, late, deceased.  

VIVERS, victuals.  

WAD, pledge.  
WADNA, would not.  
WADSET, mortgage.  
WANION, misfortune.  
WARE, spend.  
WARLOCKS, wizards.  
WASTRIFE, waste, extravagance.  
WAUR, worse.  
WEEL KEND, well known.  
WHA, who.  
WHEEN, few, a number of.  
WHIGMALEERY, trinkets, nicknacks.  
WHILK, which.  
WHINGER, cutlass, long knife.  
WHINYARD, sword.  
WHOMBLE, upset.  
WIMPLED, wrapped up.  
WINNA, will not.  
WITHY, gallows rope.  
WOO', wool.  
WYLIE-COAT, under-petticoat.  
WYND, street, alley.  
WYTE, blame.  

YESTREEN, last night.  







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